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merlinssassybeard · 1 year

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'Ex' Husband Gojo

Tags- fem reader x Gojo, swearing, angst.

Synopsis: The reader had a miscarriage and her husband wasn't there with her to give her support and now she's mentally shaken. Y/n decides to divorce him and but things take a way different turn...

Gojo and reader are married for 4 yrs and love each other profoundly but a terrible accident happened with reader and caused reader a miscarriage and was going through a very bad time. Reader wanted Gojo there to help mentally and emotionally but he was busy with curses...

"Satoru", you began with a shaky voice.

Your husband Satoru Gojo had all your attention the moment you said his name.

You had called up Satoru to the Tokyo estate, your marital home, for 'an important emergency talk'. These words were enough for Gojo to run from his busy packed schedules to run home to check up on you.

"Hmm?", Satoru hummed indicating you he's all ears. Both seated opposite to each other in the kitchen.

"Satoru, i-", you hesitated but continued, " Satoru, i want divorce...."

At first, he was unresponsive, still processing whether the words he heard were real or some weak residual cursed technique from cursed spirits left on him considering he came right after finishing a mission.

"Divorce?" Satoru came to his senses, "is this... some sort of.. joke my love MRS y/n? Cus' I'm really not liking it!", he tried to laugh it off.

But this wasn't a joke.

Not for you.

You're done.

Done giving him all of everything you have and receiving none.

You had your head slightly bowed down, unable to summon the energy, the strength to look right into his eyes. "This is not a joke, Satoru Gojo.", "i cannot live like this anymore".

Satoru knew it was indeed serious by the tone of it so he's demeanor changed as well.

"Why is it so y/n?", he mumbled in his soft husky voice while extending his hand towards yours to hold. "Is it something i did? You know you can tell me. I told you beforehand marrying me wasn't going to be easy, you remember?"

Yes he is right. He did told you a bazillion times when you nagged him for marriage anytime and everytime you saw him breathing around you. He had told you enough times that being his wife and also in a conservative society isn't going to be a cakewalk. 'Once married, there is no way out of the marital bond since its a holy bond, blessed by the heavens themselves' or as they said, but you didn't care, at that time.

"Reasons don't matter.", you flinched your hands away from his approach and passed the envelope with the papers and got up. "You'll find my signatures in there. Please be civil. Don't want any drama."

Satoru didn't knew what to say since he didn't even expected such a devastating and mind boggling news either. He had just finished his mission overseas and had taken only an hour of rest before being assigned another 'clean up' duty (messed/botched mission by another sorcerer) and in the middle of it he gets your call for an emergency meet up at the house.

He has been working all around the clock and came home to see you, hoping to receive kisses or you expecting souvenirs, which he had plenty just for you. But instead he got this ..... a farewell?

Gojo stayed seated there, watching you leave the kitchen to the room. He stayed seated there for a moment wondering what did he do, where did he go wrong, did he go wrong? Are you alright? Is this a cry for help? Is everything okay with you?

He wanted to check up on you so he got up to head towards the bedroom where you were but stopped dead in his tracks when it hit him, the reason....

"Y/n", you heard the door slide open and Gojo calling your name.

He opened the door and saw you were.... packing? God, you're really not joking.

"Yes?", you gathered the strength to look up at him for the first time in months! Due to his 'business trips' and you swear to god you would have fell down crying as your knees went weak.

"Is it...", he stumbled to say further but he knew he had to confront you with this, "is it because of that thing we talked about? On the phone?"

You knew you will burst out crying in front of him if he talked any further and because of that you couldn't speak either, holding tight onto lips to avoid the tears.

"Uh huh mmmhh mmmhh" you nodded and tried to avoid eye contact.

Oh no! Satoru knew he messed up. But he couldn't just let you... leave!? How could he? He knows and you too, that you are the only person who makes him vulnerable to the point he acts like child, only with you. You are the only one who actually makes him happy and content with his life in this miserable shite world. No words describe your and his relationship. So just how could he just let you leave?

"Y/n. I get it. You want kids." He mumbles, "then we'll have kids! Okay?" He declared.

You looked at him, and when he said that he looked as if he's been held under gun point, reluctant, yet... determined?

No! Yes, you do want children but the role of a father cannot be forced upon a man! That way the child will only be a 'burden' rather than a child born out of love and acceptance.

"No need." You announced and turned your back to him and started putting your clothes in the bag. "My mind can't be changed"

Gojo was left puzzled. He is ready to give you what you had been asking the day you both got married, what his and your parents wanted and the entirety of the Jujutsu Society had a keen eye on.

"I can't let you leave y/n like this", he said not knowing what to do either.

"Okay, I'll put on some fresh clothes.", you replied unbothered.

"No y/n i I told you once you're married you can't!", Satoru tried to come up with some reasoning.

"How the FUCK i cannot?" You yelled right onto his face, throwing the dress in your hand on the floor, annoyed at everything and anything.

"You just CAN'T!", Satoru tried to hold his sanity together.

"I AM FUCKING LEAVING! Divorce or NOT!", You snapped at him and went to pick the dress up and put it in the bag.

"Listen y/n, we can't go with divorce, it'll cause a lot of talk in the family and there's more but we just can't...", he tried to reason with you calmly but you were not in the mood.

"Why do you suddenly want me in your life when from the past fucking 4 years all you have done is being out on your trips?" You sneered and mocked, "Announcing we're going to have kids! Wow! That's not how it works Satoru!"

Satoru now lost it.

"Then what IS IT YOU WANT!? Haven't i given enough? You wanted this marriage! Not me! But i went for it because it was you! Went against my family for you and kept you away from them but what do you care" (your in-laws are toxic and would love to dance over your grave)

"Thats because i refuse to be your whore! You called me up whenever you felt like it. Might as well be your wife rather than just be some whore you sleep with on friday nights."

You recognized what you just babbled out and its disgusting. Your hands involuntarily moved and covered your mouth. You couldn't ever fathom the words you puked.

It is NOT like that! Not at all! You love Satoru, you Have been for a long time! And to have him as your husband is a dream come true! But how could say such lowly things.

Satoru just stood there. It was like one explosion after the other. So that is it? You came to him... for looks? For money? For sex? Goddammit! Satoru wanted to laugh because women of his family warned him not to marry some average human girl, saying further that you'll rob him of his money one day. But he didn't and just stood there watching the horror in your eyes unfold.

Satoru saw you as the only person in his life that made him actually understand the definition of love. Especially someone human, a non sorcerer like you. Thought of you made him content and calm, knowing he has someone waiting for him...... but not anymore.

He rubbed his temple as he'd been without an eye covering this whole time and his head ached a little with all this drama unfolding. He smiled through and looked at you, "that's what you think of me y/n?"

"No-no Satoru! Thats not what meant! Ugh! I don't want the divorce anymore!-"

He interrupted, "ah its okay, totally okay. I'll sign em."

Gojo was awfully calm and collected and you knew that when he's like this he would explode like a volcano if irked.

"No i will not let you!" You screamed and pushed him and ran out of the room in a frenzy to retrieve the divorce papers and tore the sections with your signature into tiny unrecognizable trash.

Satoru walked into the kitchen and just stood there. "You can have this house. I'll have Ijichi send down some papers later."

You eyes widened, "what..... papers?"

"Separation papers", he replied.

His gaze went around the house randomly and said, "since you don't wanna be a-" he stop and looks at you but continues.

"Since you do not wish to be a 'whore', you're free from me. I don't want chaos in both of our families so im suggesting separation. Yeah? Works in favor of both of us"

You were shook. You knew what you were doing when you brought the divorce papers but you didn't expected it to become so real.

"I'm leaving now. I'll send for my things so please don't throw my things just yet! Haha." Satoru was throwing jokes at a moment like this.

Damage has been done.

You ran out as soon as you saw him leave. You kept saying that its not what you meant and there's more to it and what not. But he just wore his blindfold and got into the car.

You saw him shut the door on your face and uttered his last words as your husband to you....

"Congratulations, Ms y/n. This'll be the last time you'll see me and when you think you're ready for divorce, lemme know!"

Part 2

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stellarbit · 1 month

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i have a kinda strange ask.

so i have severe insomnia. i've done sleep studies and meds but sometimes i just CANNOT sleep, even as bad as multiple days no sleep. doctors and i are still working on a fix. it's a fucking nightmare (except i can't have nightmares if im not asleep, can i???)

i'm a very calm, quiet, logical, and collected person except when i can't sleep. then i'm a crying and genuinely insane wreck.

i would absolutely LOVE if you could do some kind of Crosshair x female reader with some kind of scenario like this. it would make me feel better. Like maybe he didn't see her sleep the previous night and finds her still awake at like 3am the next night and this normally stoic girl is just an absolute unhinged psychotic mess and he has to fix it 🤷🏻‍♀️

idk how far ur willing to go (leaving it up to you) but just as a general idea as to how i (and many other people with this problem) get without sleep, i can get kinda violent, super snippy with people, can't stop crying, impulsive, physically sick sometimes, and don't always sound coherent or refuse to listen to people even if they're trying to help me. it's not a fun mental state to be in.

i'm never sleeping so i might as well read your literature (it's like a nightly ritual i love your stuff)

thank you 🙏

I know what it's like. Insomnia kicks my ass occasionally and it wrecks me and takes days of my life away before I can finally sleep. I hope you find some rest buddy <3 alsothankyouforthecomplimentjfc

give this a listen while you read

Just Lay With Me

Word Count: 1.5k Pairing: Crosshair x fem!reader SFW Warnings: insomnia kicking your ass all the way to next Sunday Summary: After a long bout of no sleep, you break and Crosshair is there to pick up the pieces. gif credit: @moonstrider9904

Sleep evaded you more and more often lately. Your new normal was turning into nights without more than an hour of dozing off. Nights that stretched into a week at a time with an occasional night of sleep, however restless. This time around the sleepless nights were quickly working their way to a month’s stretch.

After a few nights of frequently waking, two rotations went by without so much as a blink of sleep. At this point you weren’t just delirious, nausea turned your stomach and your head throbbed constantly. Every sound jarred you, pushing you to the brink of crying each time.

Unable to string together more than a few coherent thoughts at a time, you’d planned on avoiding town the next. You were liable to snap at the smallest slight, but even in this state you knew it wasn’t fair to others.

By the time Crosshair came to find you, you were well beyond your limit.

Crosshair noticed your erratic behavior first. You’d snapped at Omega when she and Crosshair bumped into you on the street. Crosshair tried to stop you from walking off but you bit his head off too.

It was unlike you. Ordinarily, you were composed and rational—characteristics that had faded as your sleepless nights dragged on.

Your increasingly disheveled look became Crosshair’s next worry. You didn’t preen by any stretch of the imagination, but you took care of yourself and it always showed. Now, your skin took on a dull hue, your hair greasy and untamed, and dark circles gave your eyes a sunken appearance.

The night before he and Omega ran into you, Crosshair had noticed a light on in your home around 2 AM. Knowing you weren't typically up at that hour, he found it strange. The following evening, as he lay in bed, thoughts of your earlier encounter in town filled his mind. With a growing suspicion, he rose and stepped out to the patio. From there, he could see a dim light shining from your bedroom window.

He knew what insomnia looked like, had fought with it himself after being trapped on that Kaminoan platform, and didn’t want to push you if his suspicions were true.

Then, the sound of glass shattering from your home shattered his hesitation. He leapt over the patio railing, his feet barely touching the ground as he dashed toward your house. Fortunately, your door was unlocked—an issue he noted to address later—and he entered your home in seconds..

He didn’t call out for you, instead choosing to quietly make his way through your space, tiptoeing through scattered blankets and clothes strewn over furniture. When he found you, you were on your kitchen floor, hunched over with your hands fisting your hair.

Soft heaves shook your body as you rocked in place. Broken glass surrounded you, making the situation even more delicate.

Crosshair had been right, you hadn’t been sleeping.

Knowing there was no good way to break the silence, Crosshair softly called your name. Sure enough, you jumped hard and nearly slid onto a shard of glass.

Crosshair lurched forward to steady you by your upper arm only for you to rip out of his grip. You whipped your head around, hair falling in your face in a deranged look. It fit seeing as you certainly felt deranged.

The sniper’s eyes were uncharacteristically soft, with brows slightly raised and shoulders relaxed. It felt like pity. Red hot shame flooded your system, sending you shuffling like a newborn fawn to your feet.

In a harsh, hoarse voice you lashed out, “What are you doing here?”

Crosshair glanced at the mess around you.“Your lights were on and I heard something break.” You didn’t answer leaving only heavy silence between you. Crosshair sighed, looking back at you. “You’re not sleeping, are you?”

There wasn’t enough air for you to answer, your breath hitched into small gasps as tears warped your vision. Dipping your head back, you managed to blink back some of the wet from your eyes. With a determined shake of your head, you cleared your voice and firmly said, “I’m fine.”

A line in the sand between you - a desperate claim to control something, anything.

His eyes on you, those sharp, all seeing, critical eyes, made your skin crawl. Not him specifically, but him seeing you as you were. This wasn’t how you wanted him to see you. Unable to stop the uncomfortable squirm that rolled through you, you waved both hands at him as if to ward him off.

“Please just leave.” Your voice was pleading, your eyes blinking furiously.

“I’m not doing that.” Crosshair said gently. You weren’t sure if your tears, the lighting, or reality itself made Crosshair look so hazy.

Perhaps this was the next step into delirium. The thought widened your eyes with newfound fear. He’d appeared so suddenly - was he even real? Crosshair narrowed a worried look on you as a fresh, sickening feeling gripped you, spurring you back a step. Right onto a shard of glass.

You cried out, nearly collapsing, but Crosshair was quick to support you, preventing you from falling completely. The pain shooting through your foot crumbled your remaining resolve.

Crosshair swept an arm under your knees to scoop you into his arms. He hugged you close, even as you thrashed against him in fits of sobbing. He carried you to the bathroom and carefully set you on the edge of the tub.

Despite the sobs, you let Crosshair put your injured foot under the tap and rinse the blood still seeping from your wound. He felt the tremors wracking your body as he angled your foot towards him. Luckily the shard was sticking out enough that removing it would be easy enough under normal circumstances.

“I have to pull the shard out.” Crosshair said as inspected your foot. A choked sob pulled his eyes to your face again. Your lips wobbled in a devastated frown on your blotchy tear stained face.

Seeing you so fragile or haunted tore something in him knowing he could do little more than sit and watch you fall apart.

In an exhausted whisper, you confessed, “I’m so tired, Cross.”

“I know,” He whispered back and removed the shard in one swift pull.

Crosshair put your foot under the tepid water again, simultaneously pulling a towel from the rack beside him. As he dried your foot and applied pressure to the wound, he decided to share something.

“When the empire recovered me from the Kaminoan platform…” He paused on a deep breath. He hadn’t even told his brothers or Omega, but if he could do nothing else he hoped he could at least make you feel less alone.

Crosshair gently pulled you by your leg and pivoted you out of the tub. Braving vulnerability, he knelt in front of you and said, “I… I didn’t sleep for a long time. I don’t know how long, exactly, but long enough that I had to be sedated.” He smoothed a hand over your knee, adding, “I know what it’s like.”

You gave a small nod, focusing on regulating your breathing, too overwhelmed to speak. Sensing your need for comfort, Crosshair whispered, “Can I carry you to bed?” His tone was gentle, mindful not to startle you.

Your head fell forward in shame. Pressing a hand over your eyes you shook your head and mumbled, “It’s a mess.”

Crosshair couldn’t help the soft snort that came from him, drawing your head back up. A questioning, almost offended, look came over you. Crosshair didn’t ask for further permission as he came in close to you and lifted you with him.

“You should see Tech’s room.” He teased, his breath warm on your cheek. “And he sleeps whenever he likes.”

The small joke did manage to lift your lips and you found some comfort in the cadence of his steps. He’d not yet gone this far for you. No one ever had.

Crosshair crawled into bed with you still in his arms, pushing into your tousled duvet and placing you next to him. Leaning across you, he murmured an apology and froze before turning your light out.

Peering down past his arm at you, he swallowed before asking, “Do you mind if I stay with you?”

You didn’t think it was possible, but a small smile warbled over you. You hummed out an affirmative and rolled towards, rubbing your face into the soft fabric of his shirt. Crosshair chuckled under his breath and turned off the light.

He slid in next to you, sitting at an angle that his arms cradle around you. His made lazy trails over your back

“The kitchen-” you started.

“Tomorrow.” Crosshair cut you off. “For now, just lay with me.”

In the quiet hour, in your messy bed, in Crosshair’s arms you finally found rest.

#there's something about soft cross buns here #he'd put me to sleep #you know what thats a fucking lie #and you all know why #crosshair #the bad batch #tbb #tbb crosshair x reader #crosshair x reader #the bad batch crosshair x reader #sw #star wars #crosshair x you

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lovelywritinglady · 1 year

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hi can i recwest a uzui x reader where uzui have a argment and gat a divors and yn is pregnet years later when the child and he rillast that it is his child and has a tak whif yn and trase to fics everifing

if you canpleas do thak you and have a grat day

I’d love to!💜

Mistakes

Tengen Uzui x fem!Reader

You and Tengen got into a heated argument after a demon hunt gone wrong. He says some extremely hurtful words. You decide to leave him because you know you don’t deserve that. What you didn’t know was that you were pregnant with his child. Angst, slight fluff, Tengen being a dick, mentions of pregnancy, cursing, and other mature themes.

Your pov

"You nearly got us killed, what are you and idiot?" My husband Tengen yelled at me.

"It was an accident, I'm sorry!" I yelled back

"You cannot afford accidents like this Y/N!" He roared stepping closer to me causing me to flinch slightly.

"I'm sorry." I whispered

"Sorry won't even begin to cover the fucking stupitity of your actions! You have no right being a demon slayer with how dumb you are. I can't believe I married someone like you!" he yelled looking me dead in the eye with fury.

"Fuck you!" I snapped as my anger began rising as tears filled my eyes.

"Real mature Y/N, get the hell out of my house until you can learn some respect and basic combat moves." he said as he began walking away as I began to sob.

"Where the hell am I going to stay! Tengen, I'm your wife!' I cried walking towards him.

"Hell if I care, just get your things and don't come back until you aren't so incopitent." he snapped walking away into another room.

I stood there unable to think, feel, or understand the situation. My body moved on its own and next thing I knew I was out of mt home with a bag packed walking only god knows where. It was getting dark, but I didn't care all I knew is that I was no longer wanted, needed, or loved by the man that swore he would protect me and love me no matter what. So much for promises. I kept walking until the sun began to rise, my thoughts much clearer now and my tears no longer flowing down my face. I decided to go live with my older sister, Misa, who lives on the other side of the country. Her and I have always been close, and I just hoped I would never see that asshole again.

One Month Later

I feel unbelievebly sick, as every morning and evening I spill my guts out. I have an uncontroable hunger and yet anytime I try to eat something I feel once again that I want to throw up. I feel miserable not just physically, but mentally too. Despite his words, I still love my husband. He use to be my everything, but I suppose I was never his. He claimed that he couldn't believe that he married me and just thinking about those poisonus words make my body ache once more. Tears I try not to spill came fourth with so much eagerness that I had no time to stop them. I hated myself for crying over him, but I suppose I was really crying for the man he use to be. I knew in my heart that I would always love him, but now I can never be with someone who so easily made me feel like my very existence meant nothing. I heard a faint knocking that pulled me out of my thoughts as the sweet voice of my sister filled the room.

"How are you feeling this morning, Y/N?" Misa asked as she sat next to me putting her hand on my forhead.

"Not great." I sighed smiling at her wiping away my tears.

"Y/N, I really think we should get you a doctor. This has been going on too long." She suggested taking her hand off my head.

"I think your right Misa." I sighed

"I didn't want to say anything to you, but I really think you're pregnant." she said in a whisper

"What!" I whisper yelled

"You're showing signs and don't worry if you are. I will always take care of you." Misa reassured

"Lets hope I'm not then." I said nervously.

Two days later the doctor came, she was a sweet older lady that had a warm smile and a small figure. She came into my room and inspected me in all they ways she could. My nerves at this point were all consuming as I really did not want to be pregnant, especially since I knew who the father was.

"My dear you have no fever and no true illness. What you are expierencing, is early signs of pregnancy." she said with a smile

"I see, I guess my sister was right then." I stated sadly

"Are you not happy, I'm sure your husband will be." she stated with a concerned look on her face.

"My husband no longer wants me." I answered doing my best not to cry once more.

"Oh, I am so sorry, my dear." She said grabbing my hand.

"Thank you, I just have no idea what to do now." I said honestly

"That's just something you're going to have to figure out for yourself. At the end of the day you need to do what's best for your child." She spoke seriously

"Yes, I suppose you're right." I sighed

"Of course I'm right dear, I am a doctor." she joked

"Hey, is everything alright in here?" my sister asked as she knocked on the door.

"It will be." I whispered touching my belly.

Three Years And Six Months Later

My son, Kei, is now nearly three years old. He's a rowdy child that seems to always be obsessed with what is going on outside. Whether is rainy, snowy, or sunny, he's always begging to go outside. I can't complain though as I love nature and seeing his little cheeks puffed up when he askes is always so cute. Kei looks a little bit like his father as he got most of his features from me. His eyes are the same color as my ex husband and his personality matches. His hair is a lighter shade of h/c, which gave me relief. I still haven't told Tengen about our son, nor do I want to. Part of me feels selfish, but part of me doesn't want to subject him to a man like Tengen. Although, when they do meet, I hope he is kind to his son. Kei is too sweet and kind to have to be around a father that verbally abuses him. I just couldn't live with myself if I let my baby be hurt by him.

In these three years, I haven't had a full time job. Mostly they have been part time jobs and my sister has been providing for me and my son. She claimes that since she doesn't have a family that this is no trouble, but Kei is old enough where I can start working full time. It took a long time to find job, but one day my sister came into the house screaming that she found a job that was perfect for me.

"Y/N, this is a landscaping job." she nearly yelled in my ear

"Huh, that's a little different than the jobs that I'm looking for, but hey if they are hiring then I'll take it." I said confifently

"Mama what's going on?" Kei asked as he walked into the room with a sleepy expression.

"I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean to wake you up." I cooed opening my arms for my son. He then picked up the pace and ran into my arms crushing me with all of his nearly three year old strength.

"Its okay." he sighed playing with his fingers with a small tired pout

"Your mama just found a job, Kei." my sister said with a smile at her nephew

"Okay." he said disinterested. I smiled at this, he's so small and perfect and despite the fact that my pregnancy was not the easiest, it was worth it.

Two weeks later I found myself walking towards my new job. It was a sunny day and part of myself wished Kei was here to enjoy it with me. I can almost hear his voice calling my name begging me to play with him. I was lucky to have been blessed with him. My thoughts of my perfect child came to a halt as the gates of the house I would be working at came into view. Taking a deep breath I began walking to what I thought was the front door. This property was absolutely beautiful. Everything seemed like it was perfect, not even a pebble out of place. It was a calming place that seemed to inspire peace. For some reason this place looked oddly familiar and it only now hit me that this was the place where the master lived. Tengen had taken me here years ago when he became hashira while I was just starting to become a demon slayer. Before I left, I was one rank away from being hashira. I thought about training again, but now that I have my son I felt it was irresponsible. Plus I could never leave him.

"You must be Y/N." The master suddenly said and it made me wonder how long he was there for.

"Yes sir, its very nice to meet you. Thank you for having me." I said bowing to show respect to him.

"Of course. I am aware of your situation and am happy to give you work here." He said with a smile." Come with me and I'll show you the grounds.

Two weeks later

Working at this mansion feels peaceful and the work is harder than I expected, but the pay is well worth it. Today I raked, cut grass, and tended to the luscious gardens. The sun beamed down on me giving me a slight headache. Thankfully the day was almost over for me so that I could go home to my son and my sister. Kei has been begging me to take him here ever since my sister told him that the hashira train here. I have been reluctant of it since seeing Tengen might be a possiblilty and seeing a child in my arms was a conversation that I simply did not want to have yet, even though I knew one day it would happen. I heard light footsteps approach me. turning my head I saw one of the other workers and smiled at him. He was a kind man that was around my age and he and I had talked a few times.

"Hey there, how's the work today?" He questioned with a sweet smile.

"Same as always although its a little hotter than usual." I responded

"Yeah, but I like it when its hot because I know that cooler weather is around the corner." he said with a content smile

"That would be nice." I chuckled

"Oh, you should know that the hashira will be here tomorrow." he said seriously

"Well, I'll make sure to make myself scarce." I said trying to mask my nervousness.

"Don't, all you need to do is smile and show them respect." He smiled

"Will do." I laughed standing up.

"Well I will see you tomorrow and tell your son I said hi." he smirked

"I'll make sure to tell him, see you tomorrow." I bowed

I watched him leave with a fake smile on my face. As soon as he was out of sight I sighed as my stomach throbbed with uncomfortable uneasiness as I began waking to the shed to put my tools away with my head hung low. I was no where okay with the fact that Tengen was going to be here tomorrow. I thought that maybe I should call in sick, but no one would believe that. Even if they did, I’d feel too guilty about it. The best thing to do was to avoid seeing him and focus on my work. If I keep my head down and not do any quick movements, then he won’t see me, hopefully. My thoughts were completely consumed with my nerves that I didn’t even register that I had bumped into someone until I heard someone speaking.

“Hey watch where you walk, alright.” The voice snapped

“Forgive me, I wasn’t looking.” I said frantically bowing as to show respect and forgiveness.

“Y/N?” The voice questioned lowing its tone. I then stood up and as my eyes met with the stranger I immediately tended up. My breath hitched and my stomach dropped into the ground. The one and one Tengen Uzui stood before me in all of his flashy glory.

“Uhh, you gonna say anything?” He joked as his eyes raked over my body.

“Um hi.” I stuttered slightly unsure of what the hell to even do. And I tended even more so when his body came crashing into mine in a bone crushing hug. I could feel his urgency and I almost allowed myself to met into his arms. But I couldn’t because I knew it wasn’t right.

“I missed you.” He mumbled into my hair. “I’m so sorry Y/N, you didn’t deserve that.” He cried.

“I know.” I said monotone still unsure what to do. Do I tell him about our son or do I keep my mouth shut and pretend like any of this is okay?

“Where have you been?” He questioned breaking the hug but still standing close. I looked up at him and sighed.

“Here and there, but mostly I’ve been living with my sister.” I said honestly. I really couldn’t lie to this man he’s really good at sporting liars. As much as I hated him, I really didn’t feel like lying to him.

“Ahh so that’s where you’ve been. I though your sister moved away from here.” He said curiously.

“She was going to, but she decided to stay.” I responded trying not to show too much emotion.

“Guess I should’ve looked there.” He joked

“You looked for me?” I questioned as I raised an eyebrow.

“Of course I did you’re my wife and I love you.” He scoffed as though he was offended.

“I just thought you wouldn’t care.” I mumbled

“Of course I care.” Tengen sighed

“Well you sure as hell didn’t act like it then.” I snapped

“You’re right, I didn’t I was too hard on you. You made a simple mistake. Hell I’ve made mistakes too. Making mistakes in this line of work is never good, but no one died. I should’ve been easier on you and I’m sorry.” He spoke. His eyes were pleading with mine saying silent apologies.

“Thank you for apologizing, but I can’t forgive you right now. You make me feel like I was nothing and I’m not just going to forgive that easily. I know one day I will, but I just can’t now.” I whispered as tears threatened my eyes.

“That’s understandable, I just hope one day that we can be together again. I miss you and honestly you’re the best aspect of life.” He said with a longing gaze.

“I’m not sure about that. That might take a long time. I don’t exactly trust you.” I spoke honestly.

“Fair enough.” He sighed. I reluctantly decided that I should just rip the bandaid off. Kei was his son and as much as I hated to admit it, Tengen was honest about his apologies. That man doesn’t half ass anything. So I thought this might be the time.

“Look Tengen I-“Just as I was about to tell him the screeching voice of my child filled my ears and I knew I was fucked.

“Mama!” Kei screeched as he ran straight towards me crushing me into a hug. He nuzzled his head into my thigh and despite how nervous I was I smiled at how cute my baby was.

“We have a child.” I finished with an awkward smile. Tengen stood there stiff and unmoving which was strange for him. I had never seen him tense up like this ever and I began to regret not going home sooner.

“Mama who’s this and why is he so tall.” Kei questioned waking up to Tengen. “Hey, you okay?” He said as he poked Tengens hand.

“Ummm.” Tengen said still shocked at the fact that Kei, his son, was standing right there. Matching pink eyes and all.

“Ummm?” Kei questioned craning his head to the side. “That’s a weird name.” Kei said in disgust.

“Baby this is Tengen Uzui and he’s a hashira. And he’s also your father.” I said trying to stay as calm and collected as possible.

“You’re my dad.?” Kei asked Tengen with cute excited smile on his cubby face.

“Yeah, I guess I am kid.” Tengen whispered crouching down and pulling Kei towards him in a loving him. “I’m your dad.” Tengen cried.

I began to shed a few tears at how cute this meeting was. I felt slightly bad that I didn’t tell Tengen about our son, but I had good reasons not to. I’m just so glad that he seems to be a better and nicer man. My thoughts then came to a haunt as I noticed my sister wasn’t here nor was was neighbor that Kei likes to hang out with. Meaning he came here alone.

“Kei honey, did you walk here alone.” I questioned with my hands on my hips.

“Umm no.” He quickly said.

“Kei answer your mother honestly.” Tengen said sternly but not too much as to scare the child.

“Yeah okay I came here by myself. But I really missed you!” Kei cried quickly to defend himself

“I missed you too, but you need to wait until I get home.” I sighed looking at how adorable my son looked with a pout.

“Okay.” He said reluctantly. Smiling at my son hugging his father brought peace to me. And I then decided to do something that would bring us all together.

“Tengen, would you like to join us for dinner?” I questioned still looking at the cute scene before me.

“Absolutely I would!” He exclaimed standing up and picking up our son, swinging him in the air.

“Yay!” Kei screeched

Making eye contact with Tengen I have him a small smile. His eyes looked relaxed and happy and I’m glad that he found out about or son. He then came up to me smiling as well.

“Y/N thank you for allowing me to be with him. I will do by best to be the father he deserves and hopefully one day the man you deserve if that’s what you’d like.” He spoke

“Thank you, I’m sure you will. And for that second bit only time can tell.” I joked

“Sounds good to me. Alright shall we go?” Tengen suggested

“Yeah, I wanna show you my room!” Kei said

“I bet it’s the flashiest room ever.” Tengen said matching Kei’s energy.

“It sure is!” I exclaimed content about the situation that I was in. But I wondered something.

“Hey why are you here early?” I asked Tengen

“The master told me to come early.” He spoke

“Why?” I asked

“No idea, but something tells me this was the reason.” He spoke softly

“Maybe.” I responded shaking my head at the thought that the master was trying to play match maker again.

We walked to the house as Kei held Tengens hand as well as he could. While the adults caught up on the years and for the first time in a long time I felt happy to be near Tengen.

Thank you so much for reading💜 Thank you to whoever requested this! Sorry it took longer than expected.

Please fell free to comment, repost, and request.

Click here to see what I’ll write for and HERE for my master list.

•I do NOT own any characters except y/n and any original characters•

-L.W.L

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buckysbabygorl · 30 days

Text

Notice (Part 5)

Summary: Steve storms out of Tony’s lab, searching for Y/N, hoping it isn’t too late to fix things.

Warnings: mental health issues, mentions of violence (previous battles), smoking

Part 4

Series Masterlist

Summer was gone; Y/N could feel it in the night air.

The cold wind rippled off the lake, she warmed herself by lighting another cigarette. A terrible vice of hers, one of many.

But she’d been good, hadn’t had one for 8 months.

One last dart before leaving couldn’t hurt, a symbol of saying goodbye.

She could hear Wanda’s voice echoing in her head, that she deserved to be here.

It wasn’t easy to believe.

Over, and over, and over again she pushed herself to her limit. Yet it never felt like enough.

She had watched each team member sacrifice themselves in dire circumstances for the rest of them, but when it was her, it seemed to be a fault.

It wasn’t fair.

But she was tired of arguing, tired of defending herself, tired of being tired.

She didn’t know what more she could do at this point, and though the team said it was temporary until she improved, she knew her time here was at its end.

So yeah, one more cigarette couldn’t hurt.

The crunch of stones surprised her.

Looking over her shoulder, she felt angry all over again.

“Y/N—”

“Don’t.”

Steve didn’t falter, ignoring her as she continued.

“I don’t want to hear it Rogers, whatever the fuck it is—just leave me alone.”

He reached forward and pulled the cigarette from her mouth.

“You’ve been off them for months.”

“Like you give a shit.”

He sighed, eyes running over her figure.

Her eyes were still bruised, she still carried her weight and favoured her good side… she wasn’t healing well.

“Come inside.”

“No.”

He tried to step closer but she pulled away.

“Fuck off, I’m serious.”

“I don’t want to fight right now. Just come inside.”

Y/N laughed, hollow and snide.

“Really? Now you don’t want to fight?”

She pulled tighter at the blanket around her shoulders, shielding her bare skin from the wind.

“You kick me off the team, you go behind my back to convince everyone else, going so far as to tell them about—”

She stopped herself, the feeling of betrayal seeping into her throat. She could barely say it.

Why had that night been so important? Why did it hurt so much?

“I’m not taking anymore orders from you, in fact I won’t take anything from you. It’s worth nothing.”

Steve bit his lip, this couldn’t be how it ended. He wouldn’t let it.

“You’re trying to hurt me. I get that, but I don’t care.”

She scoffed, “Yeah, you wouldn’t care. You never gave a shit to begin with.”

Steve sucked in a breath. How dare she… after everything he watched her put herself through, after every argument they had…

“I care.”

She shook her head, tears welling in her eyes.

“No, you don’t.”

She turned to face the lake, unable to look him in the eye.

“Don’t.” He turned her to face to him. Hands wrapped around her arms, teeth gritted, eyes fierce.

“You don’t get to shut me out anymore. Not after what you did, you don’t get to tell me I don’t care.”

She shoved him off, hitting him in the chest.

“What I did? I saved you.”

She continued to badger his chest, her blanket tossed to the ground as she pushed him.

“You don’t get to punish me because I tried.”

He grabbed her wrists and held them down.

She wriggled against his hold, but he kept her close to him.

There was no walking away this time, he needed to make sure she heard him.

He needed her to realize.

“You nearly killed yourself, Y/N.”

His voice nearly a scream, he pulled her into him.

He pleaded with his eyes, begging her to listen.

“Every fucking time you go out there, you almost die. You get shot, you get stabbed, you take on 25 assailants by yourself with limited ammo. I thought I was going to lose you, do you understand?”

She stopped fighting, ignoring the chill of the air as she stared at him.

His skin was on fire, hands strong and begging her to stop.

“Your life is not worth less than the rest of ours. You need to stop doing this to yourself, to the team…”

His breath stifled and she watched as his face fell, eyes welling with tears.

“You don’t get to tell me I don’t care.”

His fingers wove between hers, clutching desperately to her. It felt like she’d slip away in a second, like he was keeping her to the ground with his strength only.

“Y/N, I can’t lose you.”

She couldn’t breathe, her chest growing tight and vision blurry.

She couldn’t let him see her cry, she couldn’t do this…

“Please Y/N, for the love of god, stop and think for a minute.”

She shook her head, dropping his hands.

“I don’t need this, I’m leaving in a few hours. This will all be over with.”

“Don’t you get it? We don’t want you to leave. We need you to come back. But we can’t have you here if you don’t change.”

She held back a sob, this was too overwhelming. She didn’t think she’d have to face him again, it was so much easier to hate him. To be spiteful, and angry.

But she couldn’t handle this; the pain she felt… and now the pain she was causing him.

“I don’t know how else to be, Steve.”

Her head fell in shame, tears rushing down her face.

“I want to be strong, I want to be invincible, I keep pushing and—”

She pressed her hands to her eyes, she just wanted it to stop.

“—I never get it right. In those moments the only thing I think of is that if I mess up, and I lose you or someone else… I’d rather it be me.”

She sniffled, finally looking up at him.

“If it came down to you or me, I’d rather it be me.”

He cupped her chin, her skin as cold as ice. Punishing herself again, out in the freezing night with barely anything to cover her.

She looked lost, her eyes tired and empty. She had lost direction, lose purpose in her time here, she had forgotten that this wasn’t solitary. She needed to lean on them, she needed to prioritize herself.

“That’s not how we do this--”

Her searched her face for understanding; begging the universe that she was really listening.

“It’s not a ‘life for a life’ out there, we save lives Y/N. We don’t forfeit our own.”

He gently stroked the constellation on her cheek, “I’ve lost too many people and I’ll be damned if I lose another person I care about.”

Maybe it was the way he said it, or the look in his eyes. Maybe it was how he held her so tightly…

Y/N swallowed, fearing what she might do.

This was terrible timing. On the brink of either destroying or healing her fractured self, being asked in the dark of night to change her future for the better…

Yet all she could think about was how close he was to her.

“You care about me, huh?”

He shook his head, even in his sadness he couldn’t stop himself from chuckling.

“God, you’re an idiot.”

She couldn’t have predicted that he would be the first to lean in, his lips molding perfectly against her own.

She was learning how forward Steve could really be when it mattered, how he could take charge, that he could care out loud.

His kiss was urgent, dominating and all consuming. His hands drifted into her tufts of hair and as his warmth encompassed her, she didn’t know what to do with herself.

Mind racing, her hands placed themselves against his abdomen, pulling him closer.

The kiss stopped, Steve moving to rest his forehead against hers.

“This isn’t punishment Y/N, it’s healing. I’m not losing you. We still need you on this team, there isn’t anyone else I’d want by my side. But I need to know that you’re not… that you don’t think you’re disposable.”

Her breath shuttered in the cold, and he pulled her in impossibly tighter.

“We can’t replace you. Get better, then come back to me…”

He ducked down to kiss her again, sweet and slow. His urgency was gone, she was finally listening…

“Okay?”

Something was clicking for her, she couldn’t quite put it to words yet, but she felt it internally. Slow changes, it was a start…

“Okay.”

The sunlight was soft through his window, early dawn illuminated the room in a subtle glow.

They hadn’t slept, just laid quietly in his room.

His fingers gliding across her soft skin, gingerly dancing over the bruised parts of her flesh.

He wanted to wipe it away, to kiss each damaged part until there was no pain left.

He hadn’t stopped touching her since he convinced her to come inside.

Doting on her figure with gentle, sweet touch.

“I’ll come back, you know.”

He looked up from her ribs, meeting her eyes.

He raised hand to graze her face, index finger tracing the small constellation.

“I didn’t think you guys wanted me here, too much of a liability.”

He shook his head, voice just above a whisper.

“Impossible.”

She returned his touch, softly scratching at the stubble on his cheeks.

“I need to apologize to everyone. I’ve shut them out since the meeting.”

He nodded in understanding, “I’ll talk to Fury, ask them to come say goodbye.”

Silence fell between them. Part of him dreaded saying goodbye,

Part of him wanted her to stay now, take care of her all on his own.

But he knew he couldn’t; that wasn’t his task to bear. She had to do this healing by herself, training her brain to think and react differently.

Still, he had only gotten her back a few hours ago. 6 months apart would leave him a wreck.

As if reading his mind, she grasped his chin and urged him to meet her gaze.

“You can come see me. I know I need to go and do this on my own, but it’s a short flight away.”

He nuzzled into her arms, basking in her touch.

“I could come with you for the first week, make sure you get settled with Doctor Raynor.”

She laughed softly, her hands weaving into his hair.

“Wow, miss me already?”

His face ducked into the crook of her neck, taking that as a yes.

“You have no idea.”

Wanda’s hug was bone crushing, who knew a small woman could be so strong?

“And you’re gonna come back? It’ll be like nothing has changed.”

Y/N chuckled, “When the doc clears me, yes.”

She pulled from Wanda’s grasp, resting her hands on her shoulders.

“Think of it as a vacation. Fury says if I make good progress I’ll be back before you know it.”

Wanda shook her head and went wide eyed.

“But don’t rush yourself.”

Y/N nodded, “I wouldn’t dream of it. I’ll take my sweet time.”

Tony cleared his throat, refusing to give in to his urge to hug her goodbye, but still needing to pipe up.

“You’ll still call us, right?”

She nodded again. “Of course, I’m just staying at my friend’s place. It’s not like I’m in solitary confinement.”

“As much as we tried to convince Fury, he wouldn’t allow it.” Sam said.

She punched Sam on the arm, and he let out a fake cry of pain.

Her laugh was halted by him pulling her to his side. “Call me when you get there. And call me before bed.”

“I will.”

Reaching down and grabbing two of her bags, Sam started to walk with her.

She waved to the rest of the team as they started towards the jet.

“So, Fury said you’re staying with a friend?”

“Yeah, she has a place in the city so… I’m gonna escape the scene for a while.”

“Mhm, sure she’ll have enough room?”

She could hear in his voice that he was hinting at something, Y/N chose to play it coy.

“Yeah, I don’t take up much space.”

Sam nodded, but couldn’t hide his smirks.

“Can’t say the same for Rogers but--”

She hit his arm like she had before.

“Shut up! Jeez you’re loud. How do you even know about that?”

“Bucky is more of a gossip than you think. Hill’s travel logs said “accomodations for two agents”. Your friend’s not an agent, you’re staying at her place, I did the math pretty quick.”

She shook her head, she’d give Barnes a piece of her mind if he wasn’t on his mission.

“Not a word to anyone, you understand?”

“Lips are sealed.”

Sam put his joking aside, his face growing serious.

“So, what’s going on there?”

She shrugged. “No idea. Something, I think.”

She looked across the hangar corridor to see Steve talking with Barton, micromanaging the packing of his bags and hers alike.

“He has a separate place set up. He won’t be there the whole time. Just getting me settled, popping in every now and then…”

“I bet he will be.”

She groaned, “Shut up.”

He set her bags at his feet, “That popping in thing… that go for all of us?”

“You come see me any time you’d like, Sam.”

From across the corridor, Barton looked at the amount of bags and began to wonder why there were so many.

“I don’t really think you’ll need this much for two days, Rogers.”

“Oh—” maybe he hadn’t thought this through as well as he thought, “Well I’m actually gonna stay in the city for a bit… um, touching base with Raynor and maybe doing some sight seeing.”

Barton’s brow raised. Bullshit.

“Good idea. Gotta—” he cleared his throat to avoid laughing, “Gotta make sure everyone’s on the same page.”

Steve nodded, “Exactly.”

He couldn’t believe Steve thought he was subtle, the entire team knew what was happening. They couldn’t just own up to it. But maybe it was for the best, let Y/N heal without the questioning of their relationship.

“Well,” he clapped Steve on the shoulder, “Have a good flight. I hope… I hope it all works out.”

Steve smiled softly, “Thanks. I think it will.”

Steve and Y/N left their partners, meeting in the middle of the hangar. They waved at the groups fleeting frames, before turning to each other.

Steve looked over her again, her wounds from battle still fully on display. But he noticed a difference, something in her had changed. It may have been something in her eye, or that genuine smiled that implied she was actually looking forward to therapy.

Whatever it was, he wanted her to hold onto it as long as possible. Hope looked good on her.

“All set?”

She looked at the jet, thinking of what was ahead of her. She knew she had a lot of work to do, change didn’t come over night. She’d have good moments and bad, but she had to remind herself of what she was doing this for. She felt she had a bigger purpose now, this wasn’t about becoming invincible. This was about becoming strong; to remember that the love she had coming from her people was more important than laying her life on the line.

And as she looked at him, she wanted to spill her heart out. Thank him for all he had done, for the way he always had her back, even when she thought it had been malicious. Thank him for pulling her out of her darkest moments, for putting sense into her when she was on the brink of spiraling. For showing her that love had its harsh and its tender moments, but that it was still love all the same.

But she said none of that, smiling softly and grabbing his hand. She would tell him someday, but there was no rush.

Neither of them was going anywhere.

“Yeah. I think so.”

TO BE LOVED IS TO BE CHANGEDDD

thank you to all of you that patiently waited for this series’ completion, 4 WHOLE YEARS my goodness.

And thank you to everyone that supports my work; it means the world to me:)

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beatrixstonehill2 · 4 months

Text

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suguru-getos · 1 year

Text

— hawks hit by a yandere quirk —

-> warnings: yandere themes, mentions of feather blade cuts, completely delulu hawksie, toxic love (ofc its yandere), fem! reader, mentions of self h@/rm scars. mentions of slight choking, degradation, shock and breakdown. it’s dark, okay? stay off of it if you don’t like it. loads and loads and loads of word vomit ahead and not beta’d.

all you could hear was the rumbling and the faint noises that echoed from the tv. the main pro heroes like hawks, endeavor, dynamight were caught in a nuisance and your heart was thumping out loud for your boyfriend. it’s been 2 months only, that keigo and you started dating, hell you’ve never even been to his apartment yet.

why?

it’s… complicated

you’re one of the renouned pop idols of japan and had been writing songs dedicated to hawks. yes— you fell first and he fell harder. during one of the award functions hawks was quick to catch a-hold of you, which turned into a one night stand— which turned into you telling him to leave because you couldn’t accept a hero like hawks wanting to be with a quirkless woman. which turned into a few unreleased songs and eventually— you and keigo together.

this time though? you couldn’t care less, you really wanted to check if hawks was doing okay and drove to the hospital he was in. he was — okay. for the most part? a few scratches here and there, a few feathers missing but your man never looked better. what you didn’t know is how mentally he wasn’t okay. under the effect of several mutated quirks, one of them being the yandere one.

how could you sense it really? well— it was in plain fucking sight! the way hawks possessively grabbed you and kissed you, uncaring of who’s watching in the damned hospital & glaring daggers with his marked pupils when you so much so flinched the wrong way. it was visible that he wasn’t okay.

“eh, babe- what if someone sees us?” you tried to squirm away from his iron grip, being straddled on his lap like his favorite toy. “and?” keigo sounded, almost uninterested, annoyed at your statement.

“then we’d have a ruckus…” you gulped, clearing your throat, trying your best to understand what actually was going wrong.

hawks took a pause, his pupils scanning you and ended up in a long sigh. “you’re right babygirl, let’s just go to my apartment.”

you widened your eyes a little, ‘his’ apartment? he’s never taken you there, not even once! why the sudden change of heart? “alright!” you managed to answer, curiosity taking over you as you let keigo carry you princess style in the high skies and eventually in his balcony.

“s’ not much, definitely doesn’t feel as homely as yours but it’s what it is.” keigo led you inside, while you noticed how ikea-ish the whole vibe was. nothing was displaced, everything felt unreal and uninhabitable. reminded you of the fact that keigo doesn’t stay in his apartment much.

the next moment again, took you off guard. landing right on the bed on keigo’s lap, soft tender kisses starkly contrasting from his hands which hovered all over your body, not leaving any square inch of you untouched with his carnal, almost dangerous growls rendered you speechless, and slightly uncomfortable.

“ngh- AH keigo- easy there,” you whimpered when his teeth nibbled at your bottom lip, unable to find time to breathe properly. hawks wanted you and you were unable to keep up with his predator instincts.

“what?” he leaned back, hands wrapping themselves around your neck suddenly, squeezing them gently. “do you not want to be loved, kid?” of course it wasn’t a question, keigo sounded offended with your predicaments.

“no- no, its not like that you’re just behaving weirdly.” you managed to utter honestly, when another hand squeezed your face, golden eyes daggering and glowering at your form as keigo pecked your forced puckered lips. “then act like you’re enjoying being worshipped yeahh? i love you after all.”

of course he loved you, even you didn’t doubt that; for now atleast—

what was making you anxious was how nauseating his love felt right now. how it made you feel insignificant, insecure, pathetic.

when you feel weird, you act weird. maybe it was your mistake with how you acted— and lied to hawks, to get rid of him. you just needed space from him.

“i think i should let you rest, yeah?” a sugarcoated lie that you wanted to flee from him, gave you a sugarcoated answer from keigo. “i can rest while you’re here, can’t i?”

keigo hugged you again, suffocating you with his large wings covering you up, and not letting a single speck of light pass. “ye-yeah.” you were growing more nervous by the moment.

“you know? i’ve thought about some things. how you’re busy, in the studio, with other people, with fans, shooting ad commercials,” keigo paused, uncocooning you and glaring at you softly, as if he feels betrayed.

“huh?” you couldn’t say anything to that— yes you were, but that’s your job!

“what if i get rid of everyone and keep you to myself.” keigo smirked, watching your expressions change to half disgust, half anxious as you forced a chuckle.

“n-no? you’re the number 2 hero after all!” you smiled, trying to balm the wound his words gave you all by yourself. maybe any reassurance would help at the moment.

“mhm, and who said? heroes are all white with no grey areas? and, can’t be morally fucked?” boy— now you were losing your damn mind. you knew keigo never talk like this after all.

“uhm,” you managed to conjure up another lie. “i uh, forgot to feed my cat. i gotta go”

pathetic— poor and disgusting, that’s how your lie felt to hawks. siren eyes glaring at you as if you know, that he knows. you’re fucking lying. that feeling itself made you uncomfortable. hawks paused— clearing his throat, “you visited the hospital which means you had already fed him before going out. besides— didn’t he have an automatic feeder?”

“ye-yeah but i forgot to put food in it.”

“don’t be silly, dove” hawks cooed, glaring knives and hatred at your lies. “i saw you fill it 2 days back.”

before you could say anything else, his hand squeezed your throat, still careful and haven’t gone completely off the edge. “why’re you lying to me? do you want to meet someone else behind my back and whore around? like you do in award shows? click pathetic pictures with heroes for the camera and attention while i WATCH WHAT’S MINE BEING TOUCHED BY SOMEONE ELSE?”

you flinched, resisting and pushing him away after witnessing the heat of his rage first hand. “no- what the fuck’s wrong with you i’d never! i’ve written songs for you do you have no respect for me?” your voice also rose a few octaves, but hawks’ grip was relentless, pushing you on the mattress face first with an unbearable grip on your neck which you can’t get up from.

you felt powerless in the most disgusting, self hating way. if only you hadn’t been quirkless— if only—

you tried to push your way up, causing a knuckle crack that sounded loud enough to scare hawks, his hold left you immediately and he was surrendered on his knees, feathers splayed down on the floor with panic struck eyes. “fuck fuck fuck- are you okay?” he mumbled, holding your hand and looking at you with downpours of guilt you could swear was fake.

“m’ fine i’m not made of glass.” now your helplessness against someone as powerful as him was proving to enrage you. eyes daring to glare back at the absolute manipulative powerhouse of a man. “i want to leave.”

it was like a switch flipped in hawks, one moment he was kneeling down, the other moment he was up again, dominating you through your very core, pinning your wrists to the bed as he clicked his tongue. you could tell his patience was running thin.

“here’s what’s gonna happen— kid, you’re not moving anywhere for shit. and to remind you that you can’t go anywhere, and who exactly you belong to, i’ll mark you up, yeah?” stray plumes emerged from his wings as they ripped off your t shirt, uncaring, unflinching and unbothered of the littering papercuts that oozed out blood from your body.

“please- please no no- no i don’t consent to this you’re FUCKING SICK what’s wrong with you!” your anxiety ravaged your mind, bile rising up your throat as you felt the pain of being his all at once. hawks’ ignorant eyes as if he’s dealing with a child having a temper tantrum was chilli flakes to your wounds.

quickly, as if you breathing more was a waste of time, hawks yanked your wrist close to his, feather blade sharp and precise as he drew a line above one of your self harm scars, eventually completing the “K” of keigo.

by then you were begging, praying, chanting for him to stop, hawks wanted you to suffer, deliberately gliding his blade across your skin slowly, making you feel the ripping of your skin tissue, ignoring your pleads and how you don’t ‘consent’, who asked for your consent anyways? you were nothing more than a toy to stomp and play around with. punish if you don’t submit. hawks was sure to get that message through your skull.

with a little, complimentary mercy, he wrote the rest of his name quickly on your hand, maybe he was getting annoyed at your begging, or maybe he did feel bad. all you knew was he never loved you.

“there we go, nice and pretty,” sadistically, he licked off the strip of blood from your wrist, and you could swear you saw him kiss your self harm scars, a flash of the previous aftercare memory maybe.

tears flowing through your eyes and shock enough to supress the smallest sniffles, you kept staring at your hand. unlucky for hawks— when he gets off the effects of whatever the quirk that got ahold of him was, he’d never be able to hold you again.

you were beyond numb, why wouldn’t you be? it was a reminder that you dated the wrong man— and maybe you should be punished for it. or will you really be able to accept that it was a quirk? keigo would never do this to you, but hawks did and relished it. maybe it’s better to lose them both.

and you will, when hawks gets back to his senses and gives you his pathetically constructed apology, you will realize maybe— for a quirkless, normal human being, dating the #2 hero was the biggest mistake of your life.

#hawks bnha #hawks mha #yandere hawks #yandere keigo takami #hawks x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #yandere bnha #yandere mha #yandere hawks x reader #yandere hawks imagines #yandere bnha imagines #yandere my hero academia #mha hawks #keigo takami

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wowa-bublord · 6 months

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Mentally lying on my bed and kicking my feet like a schoolgirl while joyously waiting for more Zack and Cloud sketchies ❤️ In your AU is Cloud completely conscious and aware when he first breaks out of his coma? Or is there a sort of in-between zone for awhile? If there is, is Zack overjoyed or worried out of his mind (or both)? Does Cloud struggle with allowing somebody to take care of him?

Sending you virtual hugs should you want them or a crisp and respectful nod of the head if not!

IM SORRY this ask only just showed up in my inbox but it says it's from march 24th?? tumblr killing me with daggers,,,, This is going to be a long one sorry!! I'll explain the stages of his coma first, and then the stages of waking up from it.

In the beginning, while they are on the run, Cloud is in.. something close to a catatonic state. He can perform basic instincts, such as blinking, swallowing, the small stumble-steps he's shown doing in gameplay, and making small noises. In my au/headcanon, this is because of the Mako keeping his body up and functioning in spite of his intense poisoning. Because of the Mako, his muscles also don't atrophy during this period. He has no memories from this era at all.

After this, a little before the battalion but mostly after, his body begins to heal from his Mako poisoning. Which is good. but the lack of the access Mako leaves his body with far less functions. He begins to lose the ability to eat, becomes unable to even stumble, his eyes shut and don't open again. He falls into a full comatose state. Which, although it is very scary for Zack, and takes a lot more work and medical equipment, is actually a good sign for his healing. Fighting off mako poisoning this far is already rare.

(In this segment, he is kept fed and hydrated through his IV, but he switches to an NG tube after he wakes up, due to the inconvenience of the IV and continued difficulty swallowing.)

His first signs of waking up were a few weeks before he opened his eyes. He began responding to stimuli, ears flicking at noises, hands tensing, eyes occasionally opening but not for long. It's at this stage that he also starts having nightmares, and becomes more aware of his environment. He has blurry memories from this era, but in the moment he was mostly just confused and distressed, and didn't process it. this took up most of the few weeks.

After some time, he began to have more moments of consciousness and rational thought. He could start to respond to simple questions or requests such as blinking or closing his hands. He only vaguely remembers this. It lasts a few days

when he actually began to wake up, initially he was incredibly upset and confused, not being recovered enough to actually process the situation. This resulted in him lashing out, not knowing where he was and initially not recognizing zack, he struggled and tried to pull his tubes out. This was the final stage to his waking up, only lasts an hour? possibly a few hours? and he was finally fully awake after this!!

When Cloud woke up from his coma, his body was incredibly weak from being bedridden so much. His muscles had atrophied severely over the few months, which put him in a wheelchair as they worked on him recovering.

In this stage, he is mostly determined to improve again. He feels a lot of gratitude towards Zack for taking care of him so much, and a lot of frustration towards himself for not recovering faster.

his next stage was crutches, he recovered his arm strength faster than his legs. He begins to pick up on zack overworking himself, but he's unsure how to approach it, and often ends up saying the wrong thing. (He still uses an NG tube in this era, but he begins to be able to eat on his own, so he doesn't have it in for much longer)

His next stage is using a cane, which he ends up using for a long while. Even after his muscles have recovered, he maintains knee/hip pain for the rest of his life. He also has migraines and memory issues like in canon. At this stage, he begins to get frustrated with Zack more and more. He appreciates Zacks help, but feels frustrated with feeling like Zack doesn't trust him to take care of himself, and upset with how Zack prioritizes Cloud so much over himself. Due to these frustrations, he grows more confrontational. (<- comic linked is not 100% canon to this au, just an example.) Zack is overjoyed that Cloud is awake. He thought Clouds return to consciousness would help his fears and guilt ease, but for some reason he finds himself more worried than ever. He always backs off when Cloud says he wants space, but he finds himself worrying about what Cloud is doing now that he isn't able to be monitoring him all the time, and then guilty for feeling so worried.

#zack lives au #zack fair #my art #cloud strife #zakkura #zack fair ffvii #cloud strife ffvii #zack fair ff7 #cloud strife ff7 #zack x cloud #clack #NOT ALL THE MEDICAL INFORMATION IN HERE IS 100% ACCURATE. i talked to someone who works with caretakers #but i am not a caretaker nor a nurse nor medically trained #plus I smudged some of the facts of comatose and catatonic states to fit with the symptoms cloud displays in canon #so its like.. a fantasy coma and doesn't fully reflect what someone would experience in real life #i hope it isn't too egregiously done if anyone has some critique or suggestions i want to hear them!!!!!#coma cw #medical struggles cw

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inkskinned · 2 years

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i've been in pretty much constant pain for the past 4 months. i have a slipped disc. the mri this weekend finally confirmed what i'd already suspected. mostly, i just put up with it.

i've been in a pretty bad mental space since winter began. my brain is leaking out from between my ears. i just don't care enough to listen to the rabid wet whispering of hope. i'm mostly just bored of being here, the swaddled joyless apathy.

the back pain ebbs and flows, but it's there, so i take care of it. i do my physical therapy. i get in with a specialist. i'm lucky - there's no immediate need for surgery. it's bad, but it could be worse. when i talk about how i did it (it was a very bad sneeze), i usually start laughing. it's funny! i am never comfortable, but hey. i'm young. i'll bounce back, or so they keep saying.

i just found out it's not normal to wake up every night with a category-five panic attack. i'm lucky if i am still able to remember how to spell my name right. i spend my days in a weird blank haze, exhausted, desperate for respite - only to be unable to rest during the night. i say with a laugh - i really hate it when my mental illnesses start working together. i mean, sure. unionize. it's fine. i have lost all sense of myself. there's nowhere that's actually warm in my mind.

i feel bad how often i complain about my back. my friends immediately shush my apology. dude, you slipped a disc. continue complaining.

as a kid, i think i only really admitted to the bad things... twice. for some reason, when he didn't just dismiss it - it made my dad angry. he slammed a door at me. you're fucking ungrateful. what do you have to be sad for?

what an odd delight: the slipped disc gave me the oddest wave of relief. i'm allowed to actually hurt about this thing.

i have chronic conditions which aren't "real" things. i could write a novel on the weird ways people respond to my POTS & the rest of my fun physical acronyms. i am kind of ashamed to admit - i like the way it feels to be able to say well, because of a slipped disc. a slipped disc is a real thing. a slipped disc is serious and painful. there's diagrams and infographics about slipped discs. upon my diagnosis, they immediately offered me narcotics.

i haven't been able to get up out of bed for more than a few hours. i do less and less and less and less. i have started to sit down in the shower. sighing my way from deadline to deadline. this again. in one day and out the other. people tell me i don't really need my meds. i have run out of times saying i have depression, it's become almost transparent. it's so bad my therapist suggested meeting more than once a week, but i don't want to worry her, so i never finish setting up a second meeting. every creative spark in my soul has been entirely ravaged - but that's just capitalism, baby. i don't even take the day off of work. i just show up and do a bad job and get yelled at for it.

it's not real, after all. the pain is just imagined.

#spilled ink #warm up #is this clear?#i have chronic pain & illnesses which i will not be discussing on this blog #and i will say that the way i'm treated about those is often just as bad #but since i don't have the room to give it justice on this post #it's ... about that weird sensation of...#''oh this is a real thing that actually hurts people''#when u have spent ur life in pain and being told that pain isn't real #feeling like you are '''allowed''' to finally ACTUALLY feel pain #that sense -- oh thank god it's actually bad #idk maybe im a bad person #but sometimes i do like to write about. the actual symptoms of mental illness #and sometimes the Illnesses Do Make Me Think Bad Thoughts #so if this is weird just tell me i'll bring it up w/my therapist ig

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p1xiemeat · 6 months

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Trigger Warning: Rare Illness/Health Issues [wasn't sure if this need a tw but these topics make some ppl uncomfy so i wanted to be considerate anyway💜]

so a lot of ppl have been asking me why i don't post pics anymore or why i have barely been on social media compared to how i used to be. and the reason is i've been having severe health issues for a very long time. i can't even remember the last time i went more than a month without feeling nauseous, or actually throwing up, or just having headaches and stomach pain that are so bad i can barely tolerate them.

i've known for a while that i have gastritis, but my mom & my bf convinced me to go to a new doctor for a second opinion. after months & months of pure agony and feeling exhausted and sick to the point where i have no energy, i finally know why. i went to a specialist and discovered i have a rare illness called CVS (Cyclic vomiting syndrome). and i also am lactose intolerant which was amplifying my symptoms because i eat dairy products constantly.

i am going to be starting treatment for it and i really hope it improves my life and my ability to function because i am so tired of "living" like this. just existing has been exhausting and painful. i literally haven't been able to accomplish any of the goals i have because i can't go more than a few days without feeling horrible.

i already feel useless because i'm autistic and i have bipolar 1 and i'm waiting on disability payments to come through because i am unable to work with my disabilities. so my bf has been working and doing his best to take care of me and our kids. i just feel so horrible and guilty all the time. and i genuinely didn't know why i feel sick 24/7. all i want is to feel like myself again. and to do all the things i miss doing. i feel like i'm trapped by this illness.

i'm grateful to have answers and know what i'm dealing with finally. but after suffering like this almost every single day for so long its so hard to feel hopeful for the future at this point. i'm literally in tears as i type this. its just been really bad. i never do my makeup anymore or feel good about myself. i can barely move sometimes because the pain in my stomach is so bad or i get pain in my throat from vomiting for hours at a time, and then i get MORE pain from dry heaving due to not being able to hold down any food. and then i get random migraines and headaches that last all day as a result of all of that. its taking a huge toll on my body and my mental health. my depression gets worse during the winter season so when this started getting really bad it just made my mental health a million times worse. its literal hell.

but yeah thats why i haven't been online. real life is hard enough and i haven't been motivated to post because of the hell i'm going through or a lot of the time i physically CAN'T make content. but i'm going to keep trying. i'm going to do every fucking thing my doctors tell me to do because im so fed up with suffering. i promise that i will make content again and post the things i create and other stuff i used to post about before i stopped being able to function. as soon as i start to feel semi normal or at least well enough to do daily activities and complete even small goals, i will post about it. i'll keep u guys updated.

i appreciate every single person who follows me and my content, and all the ppl who keep checking up on me and wondering where the fuck i went. i love you guys so much💜 and i'm so sorry to all the ppl who haven't heard from me. if i can gain at least a little bit of my physical strength and health back, i will be so happy. i also am trying to get vitamins prescribed to me because im severely lacking nutrients but they are so expensive and i can't afford them out of pocket until i get my disability money. i'm also anemic and have to start taking iron supplements again. i'm just a giant ball of health issues😭 its actually ridiculous how bad my health has been. but i'm a mom and for that reason i will never stop trying. i will do whatever it takes to get better. i don't think my health could get much worse than it is currently. hopefully i didn't just jinx myself by saying that😭

sorry for the super long explanation, i just have sooo many messages in my inbox and questions that you guys send me that i haven't answered. i don't want to leave u in the dark. the connections i've made on this silly little blog mean the world to me. and everything i've been going through has been so hard to explain. but since i recently got a REAL answer as to why i'm suffering so much, i felt it was a good time to let you guys know what is going on with me. like i said, when i am able to feel somewhat normal again i will post consistently and re-open my shop too! it sucks so bad having a passion for creating but being too sick to even get out of bed other than to get sick in the bathroom. i've been to the emergency room more times this month than i have in the last 4 years. if i can overcome this awfulness i will not take it for granted. i will work harder than i ever have to create and share it with the world. but for now i just have to sit back and do whatever my doctors tell me to do and hope to god that it helps me 😞

#kh

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daisynik7 · 1 year

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Can I request All for you by Janet Jackson for Aki Hayakawa - fluff

All For You

Tell me I’m the only one. Soon we’ll be having fun.

Pairing: Aki Hayakawa x f!reader

Word Count: ~1.3k

cw: fluff, grumpy/sunshine trope, alcohol consumption (everyone is of age)

Summary: Aki Hayakawa has been training you for the past two months, helping you acclimate into your new role as a Public Safety Devil Hunter. From the start, you were smitten, unable to contain your cheery attitude whenever you’re with him. He’s closed off, strictly business, and never cracks a smile, but in his own subtle ways, he shows you that he cares. One day, after a successful mission, you test your luck to see if your love is truly unrequited, or if Aki just needs that extra push to admit his true feelings for you. A little bit of liquid courage might also come in handy.

Author’s Notes: Ahhh, my first Aki fic! Thanks for the request anon, I LOVE Janet Jackson, and this is the perfect song for the y2k karaoke party! I hope you like this! It’s short, sweet, and very fluffy, so it’s been a nice break from the shameless smut I’ve been writing LOL. Likes, reblogs, and/or comments are always appreciated! Thank you for reading! Banner created by @/saradika.

It’s been two months since you started working for Public Safety. Two months of grueling training, both physical and mental, and two months of being stuck with the notoriously grumpy Aki Hayakawa. But you’re not complaining, considering how absolutely head over heels you are for him.

In this case, it’s true what they say: opposites attract. While you’re the type of person to always have a happy expression on your face, Aki is the opposite. You have yet to see him crack a smile, even the tiniest hint of one. No matter how hard you try to bombard him with your joyous affections and shameless flirting, he remains unfazed by it. Though, you’re certain he doesn’t hate it. If he did, you would have already been chucked off to someone else to have to deal with you. That’s why you continue your efforts; because deep down, you know he likes it. Likes you.

He doesn’t say it in words, but he doesn’t have to. His actions display them perfectly. Subtle glances during moments he thinks you’re not looking, though you always are. Small gestures to show he cares about your safety and well-being, like always switching spots with you when you’re walking on a sidewalk, making sure he’s on the side of the street. Putting out his cigarette whenever you arrive because he knows you don’t like the smell. Holding the door open for you, sharing his umbrella on rainy days, always volunteering to be your partner during group missions because he doesn’t trust anyone else to be with you. Sure, maybe he’s just that nice of a guy, a true gentleman, a man who proves chivalry is not dead. Or, maybe he really likes you as much as you do him. Is it wishful thinking? Probably. You’re growing impatient waiting for validation, so tonight, you decide to take matters into your own hands.

The Public Safety Department is out to celebrate a successful mission. It’s the first time you’ve all been together in a while, so many of you are ready to let loose. Your team sits together in one corner of the restaurant, a round of beers already being passed down as soon as you take your seat by the wall, directly across from Aki. Kishibe, the most senior Devil Hunter, takes a spot next to you, while Kobeni, your dear friend and main confidant on the team, sits by Aki. As usual, he’s quiet, sipping on his drink without so much as a peep. His eyes flit towards you as you grab the handle and take several heavy gulps of beer. You’re going to need some liquid courage in you for what you’re about to do.

Kishibe doesn’t say much either, downing his liquor silently, leaving you and Kobeni to fill the void with random small talk until appetizers are served, and she stuffs her mouth with gyozas and chicken yakitori. When you’re almost done with your beer, Aki’s shoves the plate of dumplings to you. “You should eat,” he mutters, staring at your empty glass.

You grin at him. “I will, if you feed me.” You open your mouth, sticking your tongue out playfully.

He rolls his eyes at you, a small blush surrounding his cheeks. “Stop acting like a child.”

Feeling particularly wicked, you turn to face your neighbor. “Kishibe, can you feed me?”

The older man chuckles, already finished with three pints. “Alright.” He pinches a gyoza between his fingers, dips it in the sauce, and guides into your mouth whole. From your peripheral, you notice Aki scowl, grabbing at the pitcher at the center of the table to refill his cup to the brim.

You giggle, chewing it into smaller pieces to swallow, batting your eyelashes with your hand covering your mouth. “Thank you, Master.”

Kishibe laughs again, clearly amused by this, glancing at Aki across the table. “Is this what you have to deal with?”

“You have no idea,” Aki grunts, chugging his beer halfway.

For the next hour, you continue to focus all your attention on Kishibe, and none on Aki, who sits still with his shoulders tense and a permanent frown on his face. It helps that your senior is playing into it, not questioning your brazen behavior, fully aware of your crush on Aki because you have admitted it to him plenty of times before. Aki’s had several pints now, a red glow surrounding his cheeks, sweat beading on his forehead. He hasn’t said a word as you blatantly flirt with Kishibe in front of him. You’re feeling a buzz now, more reckless with your emotions. Suddenly, you’re annoyed with yourself and with him; you stand up, wobbling slightly, murmuring something about going outside for some air.

You’re slumped on the steps in front of the restaurant, breathing in the fresh night air, cool against your hot skin, feeling defeated. Your dumb plan to make him jealous backfired, leaving you just as confused as before. Maybe it’s time to throw in the towel and just accept that Aki will never reciprocate your feelings.

You’re alone for a few minutes until the door swings open and you see Aki walking towards you. a glass of water in one hand, the other tucked in his pocket. He passes it to you, saying, “Drink this.”

Pouting, you take it, sipping it slowly. “Thanks, I guess.” You add the last part spitefully.

He sits next to you, sighing. “Why are you doing this?” His voice isn’t his typical monotone; there’s actual concern behind it now.

“Doing what?” You set the water beside you, crossing your arms.

“You know what.”

You shrug, leaning back on your hands, staring up at the sky, blinking at the moon. “I don’t know what you’re talking about it.”

He turns to face you, swallowing loudly. “Why are you being like this? Are you in love with him?”

This catches you off guard. “Huh?”

“Kishibe. Are you in love with Kishibe?” His brows are tight, eyes imploring you for the truth. And it’s in this moment that you realize your plan actually worked. And now you feel guilty.

Before this gets out of hand, you decide to stop the games and be honest with him. “No Aki. It’s you. It’s always been you. You’re the only one.” You look at your shoes, avoiding his gaze, embarrassed by your confession, nervous for his reaction.

“Then why were you – ”

“I was trying to make you jealous,” you interrupt him, explaining yourself. “I’m sorry. It was childish and immature and just plain dumb and I’m sorry. I understand if you’re upset. You can hand me off to someone else if you want. You don’t have to deal with me anymore.”

He copies your posture, leaning on his wrists, hands so close to touching yours. He doesn’t say anything for a minute, choosing his words carefully. “I’m not upset,” he says softly.

You look at him, surprised at his response. “You’re not?”

And finally, after two months of yearning for it, he smiles at you. “Not at all.”

You can’t help perking up at this, scooting even closer to him. “Does that mean…?”

“Yeah. It does.” He places his hand on top of yours, squeezing it gently.

“You have to say it,” you demand, flipping your palm over to interlock your fingers with his.

“Do I have to?” he groans, still grinning.

Your heart pounds in your chest, belly fluttering, grin wide and eyes bright. “Use your words, Aki. Or else I’ll get confused again.”

He shifts forward, nuzzling his nose to yours. “I like you. Happy now?”

You close the gap, kissing him on the lips, smiling. “Very happy.”

#aki hayakawa #aki chainsaw man #aki x reader #aki x you #aki x y/n #aki hayakawa x reader #aki hayakawa x you #aki hayakawa chainsaw man #aki hayakawa fluff #aki fluff #chainsaw man fluff #y2k karaoke party #milestone event

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bestfriend491 · 1 year

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Hey. I'm sorry to ask this, but my mental health isn't doing so good lately. Ramonda is my comfort character. Could I maybe ask you to write something where she takes care of a F reader who struggles with nightmares about a past abusive relationship? Maybe she holds reader, and promises reader will always wake in her arms?

~ Holding you tight tonight

Queen Ramonda x Female Reader

Summary: There comes a time when one must be honest about their past. When your turn arrives, Ramonda's more than ready to listen.

Author's note: I am so sorry this one took long to deliver in particular. I wanted to get it out quickly for the beautiful anon (I hope you're doing okay now, though) but I had some bad avoidance with writing for the past few months. Luckily, I'm slowly getting there. I hope you enjoy. Tell me how you like it.

Word Count: 6.2k

Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: A little Self-deprication, brief mentions of past abusive relationship, tears and panic

“You don’t have to leave places where you are wanted, merely because other places have rejected you” - A

“My queen, we are home.” Ramonda heard the words of the General from where she sat. They were on the quinjet, with Okoye flying it.

She looked up, having been too preoccupied to notice the horizon of her home country coming into view.

Okoye, noticing the obvious absent-mindedness of the queen, turned to look at her. Seeing that she’d been writing something down, she raised a brow.

“Are you planning something, Kumkanikazi?”

The queen, smiling now at the notes she’d been making, nodded her head in confirmation. “Just something special for me and Y/n.”

At the mention of your name, Okoye needed no further explanation as to why the queen was preoccupied. In the three years that the two of you had been together, if it was about you, she knew that Ramonda would be going above and beyond.

The same went for what she was planning right then. Simply put; it was a date. One where you and her would spend the evening in your shared room, or out in the garden, just enjoying your reunification.

Ramonda had been out on travel for a few weeks, unable to see you. It felt like a foreign concept, being away from you for so long. She’d been lucky enough to have rescheduled any travels when you’d just moved into the palace, not long after she’d proposed to you.

Though you were familiar with being in the palace since even before your relationship started, she still wanted to make sure that she didn't leave you alone until you were comfortable. Surprisingly, she made it 4 months before her travels could no longer be postponed, delegated or cancelled.

Though you’d assured her that you’d be okay, she’d still stayed worried from the moment she left. The nightly calls that you had to check up on each other became less about her updating you on how the alliance proceedings with the other nations were going, and more about you reassuring her that you were okay.

With all that time away from you, all she wanted was to be close to you. To refresh the fading memories of small things you did. To see the creases by the edges of your eyes when you smiled. To hear your boastful laugh whenever she said something you thought was comical.

She wanted to see you in your happy state. Doing all your happy state things. And the best way she knew how to get you there was with a date. Just you and her.

“Do you think you could dismiss all the Dora working on our wing of the palace tonight? I know she’s not a huge fan of them being around in the later hours.” Ramonda went on to ask, unintentionally including Okoye in her date planning.

Okoye went on with what she said, letting her throw ideas out to see if they sounded okay. By the time the quinjet landed in the royal hangar, Ramonda was sure that she had a finely planned date on her hands.

The two women were met with Aneka standing outside of the vehicle, smiling in greeting. With pleasantries out of the way, Ramonda continued looking down at her notes, Aneka on her left, and Okoye on her right.

“What have you got there my queen?” the former asked.

Ramonda angled the notebook towards the other woman, letting her read off of it.

Aneka nodded in understanding, a soft “oh” leaving her lips as she smiled at the revelation.

Though most of the Dora were close to the queen, sharing a respectful bond with her as their ruler, some of the Adored Ones got more than just that. Some, like the General, or even sweet Aneka got those glimpses of unprofessionalism. The hints of times when Ramonda was no longer the queen of the nation. Rather, just a friend who talked about the love of her life just as any other person would.

“How is she?” the queen found herself asking Aneka. The call she’d had with you only hours before seemed promising enough but she still needed an outside witness of assurance.

Aneka seemed slightly stumped by the question, looking for words that usually came quite easily to her. Okoye, knowing how lacking the woman could be in subtlety, cleared her throat as a signal; get to the point, soldier.

“She’s well!” She quickly let out, in a higher pitch than she normally spoke in. Seeing the pained look of embarrassment on the General's face, she tried again. “She looks refreshed… is what i mean. Very well rested.”

Ramonda sighed at that, relieved that her absence hadn’t brought you sleep problems. You’d looked beyond tired when she’d left, and she’d spent many hours worried that her departure was the reasoning for this.

She didn't notice the look of concern taking over the General’s face at Aneka’s words.

“Aneka…” the General started to speak, angling her head to the side. Another signal. What actually happened?

The normally outspoken Dora Milaje grew nervous at that, making it very obvious to even the least vigilant that there was definitely something missing from her story.

Unfortunately, Ramonda wasn’t being even the least bit vigilant.

Her body and mind were elsewhere as they entered the palace, making their way to her living-quarters. She was searching for you in anticipation, waiting to see your frame enter her view and brighten her day.

When she finally did see you, unknowingly coming out of your shared room to her and the Dora looking at you, she was overcome by relief.

“Y/n. My love.” you raised your head, knowing that voice as coming from one woman and one woman only.

“Sthandwa sam…” you let out breathlessly, a surprised smile coming to your face as you approached her.

Ramonda wasted no time separating from the two women that had accompanied her to go to you. The two of you were reunited in a warm embrace.

“You’re back early.” you expressed, taking in her serene scent and light energy.

“The last meeting was cancelled so I told Okoye that we should leave early and surprise you.”

You laughed at that, “I'm sure she was all too pleased to hear you talk about me for weeks on end.”

“She’s polite where she can be, but she’s definitely sick of hearing your name.” you both laughed at that.

When the two of you finally detached from each other, She took a good look at you. You looked just as Aneka had described. Refreshed and well rested. Ramonda found herself looking at you in complete amazement.

She never could get used to looking at your beautiful face and knowing that it was all hers to look at.

She looked at what you were wearing, noticing that you were still in more formal attire.

“Do you have somewhere to be, my love?”

“I was just rushing here to find something I forgot for work. I still have to go back.”

Ramonda nodded in understanding. She smiled at you for a little while longer, holding your hands in hers for a moment before fully letting go of you.

“I’ll be back by 6.” you said, before leaning in to kiss her softly. She remained with a smile plastered on her face, now having a lingering tingle on her lips.

“I’ll see you then, my love.” Ramonda said, kissing you once again for that euphoric feeling before letting you go on with your day.

Though she usually grew slightly sad when you had to work long hours, in her mind now, this gave her plenty of time to prepare everything without worrying about whether you would catch her or not.

With her mind back onto her original intentions for the day, she turned to where she’d last seen the two Dora that were with her. Surprisingly, she was met with only Aneka behind her, wearing a rather guilty look on her face.

“Where did Okoye go?” She asked, gaining only more hesitation from the Adored One.

“I informed her of a task that needed to be done… elsewhere, My Queen.”

“Should I be worried?”

“No, no, not at all. Everything is well with the nation, Queen Ramonda.”

Feeling satisfied enough with that, Ramonda breathed out a sigh, returning back to her warm and loving expression. She let out a chuckle or two. “Good. I was starting to think you already needed me to leave for another nation again.”

Aneka tried her best to give off the same lighthearted emotion, but failed as her eyebrows creased in worry.

Ramonda entered the room finally, trading her more uncomfortable pieces of clothing for some more homely attire.

Once in the clear, she announced her decency to Aneka, who further let herself into the room. She watched as the queen went about looking around at where she’d place everything for later on in the night, and the thing that had been on the tip of her tongue seemingly since the royal figure had arrived finally came to the surface.

“You know, Queen Ramonda… there was actually-” She stopped when the queen looked directly at her with intrigue. Suddenly feeling the weight of her impending words. “There was something that I meant to inform you of when you first arrived. Something about when you were gone.”

“The Dora didn’t wreck another one of the training rooms, did they? Ramonda laughed to herself, clearly not noting down the tension building in the room.

“No,” Aneka tried to laugh off with her, but then realised that she needed to get to it before she missed her chance, “It’s about Y/n.”

Now, Ramonda was focused. “What about her?”

“Do you remember how you told us to keep an eye on her for the first few days just to make sure that she was okay?”

Ramonda nodded at the question.

“Well, we did that. Or at least I did that. I always did a morning, afternoon and evening visit just to see how she was coping. But after a few mornings, I noticed that I would catch her coming into your room rather than leaving.”

“Like she was waking up early?”

“No. Like she was breaking back in after sneaking out.” Aneka clarified. Ramonda’s expression grew serious at this implication.

“So what you’re trying to say is…”

“What I'm trying to say is that I don't think Y/n spent a single night here after you left. I didn’t ask her, so I could be wrong, but I think she went back to her house by the river.”

Ramonda sounded speechless, “I thought she sold that place.”

“I did too, but according to the people who lived near her, that place was never sold.” Aneka went on to explain, as she’d spent a significant amount of time talking to farther away residents of the river. People who likely lived closer to your old home than they did to her and Ayo’s.

Aneka approached Ramonda in worry now that the news was out. Fearing that she’d grow sick from stress. Instead of welcoming the approach though, Ramonda waved her off. “I’m okay, Aneka. I just- I need time to think about this. You can have the rest of the day off. I’ll sort all of this out.”

“Should I still tell the others to leave this side of the-'' Aneka asked, unsure of whether this meant the date was cancelled.

“Yes. Everything will proceed as intended. I just need some time with her. Alone." She emphasised, feeling herself grow more uneasy at her own assertion.

The still worried Dora Milaje nodded, crossing her arms over her chest once before leaving the room.

Without the added presence, Ramonda felt herself starting to see the room she was in with a new perspective. She sat on a chair, looking at the grandly sized place in its totality.

It was clean. It smelt of potpourri. Strong potpourri. The type of strong that could only be achieved for a few minutes after a deep clean. Before the scents would shift to more signature ones owned by the bodies that entered the room.

That scent wouldn’t be there had you been living there. Not unless there had just been a deep clean, and as far as the queen knew, that wasn't on schedule for the day.

Looking then at the bed and the tables that laid on each side of them, she had another realisation. The drawers, the tables, the bed; they all looked untouched. Not lived in.

Had she been so caught up in wanting to make you feel at home that she'd slowly chased you away? That had to be the answer. You told her everything. She'd have known if you had affairs to attend to that required weeks of sleeping elsewhere.

Though her mind briefly thought of possible infidelity, she took that off the list of possibilities faster than the time that the idea took to formulate. This matter didn't involve anybody but the two of you.

This was a personal matter.

And if Ramonda knew one thing about confronting personal matters with you, she knew that it took 3 things. Time, patience, and a little nudge.

Tonight would indeed proceed as she'd intended. This date would be her nudge.

She just hoped she wouldn't push you too far.

“Hm.” Ramonda heard you sigh next to her. She looked in your direction, a smile spreading across her lips as she watched you try to form words.

“What?” She asked, eager to know what that hum meant.

“Nothing,” you laughed, your hand finding hers instinctively. “I just didn’t think this would have been your favourite movie.” you pointed your head towards the tv screen that showed a stream of naming credits relating to the movie you’d watched.

“What did you expect, my love?” She questioned, raising your intertwined hands to her lips; kissing them gently.

You felt yourself shift closer to her warm body, leaving a large gap on the side of that bed that you’d been on only moments before. You snuggled up close to her, cuddling her as you looked at your intertwined hands.

“I didn’t expect anything, specifically. I just didn’t think romantic comedies were your thing.”

Ramonda let out a full belly chuckle. Short, direct, but loving. Kind of how she'd been the entire night.

“Don’t I look like the romantic type?” she asked, and after being met with your playful hesitation, “I planned this beautiful date, didn't I?” you nodded at that.

“And it was good, wasn’t it?”

You looked up at her, the distance between your lips suddenly becoming noticeable to you. And though you knew she was asking the question matter-a-factly, your want to kiss her after the effort she’d put into the day felt like the most appropriate answer.

Your eyes being fixed on said lips told her everything she needed to know about how you liked the day, but still she waited. Wanting to hear it from you directly.

“You did, sthandwa sam. And it was a good date.”

WIth your stamp of approval, she relented, letting her excited smile escape from its regular confinement.

You had a feeling that she'd wanted to get everything just right tonight. And though you’d been dating for a while, you knew that she still felt that hesitation that surrounded you all the time. You sensed how much she wanted to give you a day where none of that hesitation was needed.

You hoped that the way you’d been looking at her all day gave her some type of reassurance that she'd done her duty well. You hoped it made her feel certain enough to ignore whatever she might have heard from the others.

You'd seen Aneka and Okoye speaking when you'd first seen Ramonda earlier, and although all your attention went to your fiancée, you weren't as oblivious as she was in relation to what they were likely talking about.

Okoye had gone down the same hall path as you, choosing to catch up to you when you'd both left the conversation.

"General Okoye." You nodded and smiled at her as you walked.

"Y/n." She acknowledged.

You subtly tried to attempt walking at a brisker speed, failing to do so without catching the General’s attention. She matched your pace at every increase, even letting out a few chuckles at your sad attempt to get away from her.

"Do you need something, General?" you asked, finding yourself slowing down to accommodate a comfortable walking conversation.

"No, but I feel inclined to ask you that same question."

"If I need something?"

"Mhm." She nodded.

"Well, I don't believe that I do."

She looked at you sceptically, "Is that so?"

You were nearly at the doors to the palace, knowing that this conversation had to get somewhere if you wanted to make it back on time for the rest of your work shift.

You fully stopped walking, turning to Okoye, who did the same. "Does it look like my answer should be on the contrary?" You huffed, getting frustrated.

"That's not my place to say. What is my place to say, however, is that whatever you may or may not have needed while the queen was gone was observed by more than just yourself." She pointed in the direction of where you'd left Ramonda and Aneka.

"I don't know what it is that happened, but my advice to you would be to give her details before she starts coming to her own conclusions."

She left you with only that, a soft smile of concern planted on her face as she went on with her required duties.

That one sentence had sent chills down your spine, your mind stuck on it for the remainder of your afternoon, and most of your night.

Now, you still thought of what she'd meant. On whether it was what you thought she meant. That you'd been found out in that one way that you'd somehow kept secret for so long.

Now, looking at how late it was, your anxiety grew to its peak.

That old hesitation that you'd been trying to hide for the whole night caught wind again, strengthening enough to peek through your once smiling face. Now a frown plastered itself on your lips.

“It’s getting late.” you said bluntly. More to yourself than to her.

“Are you tired, sthandwa?" Ramonda asked, drawing. circles on your arm with her free hand.

You nodded.

“We can go to sleep if you'd like. Three movies seems like more than enough for one night.” She smiled at you again, loosening her hold on you to pack everything up for the night. You watched as she rose from bed, watching you with those always loving eyes. You felt a sudden pit of anxiety seeing it. A feeling that needed immediate confrontation.

“I’ll pack these away.” you said, getting up from where you were and grabbing the uneaten snacks from the side tables ready to go out of the door with them.

“It's fine. I’ll just take-.” you heard her start to say, but you were already halfway out of the door before she could finish. You raced down the hall of your section of the dwelling, finding that your mind was working on autopilot getting you where you needed to go.

You moved through the halls, tears threatening to fall already as you made your way to the kitchen.

You heard a few muffled mentions of your name coming from where you'd just been but its lack of volume increase gave you enough information to know that Ramonda wasn’t approaching you.

You still had time.

You rushed around, finding yourself in the kitchen putting everything where you remembered it usually sat.

Heart racing, you felt yourself getting to one of the spare bathrooms. Going straight to the sink, you finally got the first look at yourself for the night, and one thing was very clear. You were panicked.

"It's just sleep." You said, trying to ration with yourself.

"Just sleep." You said it more than a few times, thinking, hoping that one of the attempts would end in you believing yourself. Hoping that one of them would end in you having the epiphany of a lifetime, where it all clicked and it really was just sleep.

Instead, though, when the repeated words hit the +10 mark, one of them ended in tears. Hot tears that burned your eyes getting out and left an even hotter feeling on your cheeks as they rushed down.

Old memories of life in the palace before Ramonda left came to mind. All the nights where you pretended to sleep just so she wouldn't worry. Where you pretended to have been well rested every morning just so she'd go on with her day not being worried about you. Where you hid in corners soothing yourself when you had chosen to sleep, only to be met with nightmares that woke you up anyway.

With all those feelings still fresh, you knew that you couldn't go back to that. Telling her wasn't an option but hiding it from her wasn’t either.

"I need to go." you opened the tap, letting water rush into your cupped hands before you brought your hands to your face, letting the water wash over you. The cold temperature of it reset your body, the tears slowing down and your breathing stabling.

The water did nothing for your unbalanced mind, though. You were still set on your words. You were leaving.

You wiped your face down with a towel, washed your hands and left the room, contemplating whether to let Ramonda know you weren’t staying or not.

You heavily considered it, even walking in the direction of your room, but at the last minute, you turned, deciding that it wasn't worth the trouble. You weren't worth the trouble.

I'll be back; you told yourself.

You'd come back tomorrow and you'd tell her that something came up and you had to go. You doubted that she'd believe you but it would be better to do that than tell her the truth.

Reaching the front entrance of the palace, you found yourself more overwhelmed than relieved, feeling more weight on your shoulders. You walked around, finding yourself nearing the garden. Off to a corner you saw a bench. The one that you'd discovered all those months ago. The one you’d sat on most nights while Ramonda slept.

You sat, gripping the edges of your seat as a means to ground yourself. You were in no shape to get yourself all the way to the river province. Your best solution was to sit there for a while.

You thought about how ridiculous you were being, avoiding the love of your life all because of something as trivial as nightmares. But it wasn't nearly as simple as that.

There was that history. That poisonous history with the person who had broken you in ways that never felt fixed all the way.

Ramonda was nothing like your ex. She was kind and gentle where your ex was rude and aggressive. She was patient where your ex was short tempered. She was genuinely loving where your ex was hateful with a fake loving disguise.

Ramonda was everything you needed her to be, and yet somehow that only made you feel less worthy of her.

Don’t leave. Don‘t leave. Don’t leave; you tried to tell yourself

But at the back of your mind the words that plagued your body during the day and terrorised your mind at night were seemingly always the strongest opponent in the battle.

Just leave, just leave, just leave; they used to say. Reminding you of how disposable you were to your ex. If you were disposable to them, then what difference was it to Ramonda? A queen. You were an inconvenience at best.

You’d always heard of people saying that past relationships could ruin your perception of love and life, but they always said it got better.

For you, that wasn’t the case, because if it were, you wouldn't be sitting there, years after you’d escaped, with the same words still running through your mind.

You wouldn’t be fearing the thought of sleeping every night and you wouldn't be hiding from the woman you loved trying to come up with more lies to tell her.

Tears were once again forming.

"My love?" You jumped at Ramonda's voice, startled more at her sudden appearance than you were of her serious tone.

You turned, looking up. Another fake smile being thrown her way.

“I'm okay.” You said before she could even ask. You wiped at your face instinctively, knowing that the tears would come down and expose your words as being false.

She approached you slowly, going down to sit next to you.

"Sthandwa sam, what's going on?" She was resorting back to the way she spoke to you when you were still in the early days of dating. Lacing her voice with the once emotion that got you to open up. Desperation.

"I thought I'd be back tomorrow." You said, and though you knew that the thought of you wanting to leave probably hurt her, she still held you as you found yourself placing your head on her shoulder. Needing to feel that sense of safety.

This small action was monumental. Not completely untouched territory, but unfelt. Unexperienced by you.

It’d taken months to convince you to let her show you that she could love you. It took twice as long for you to truly believe her when she said she did.

If there was one thing she knew about you, it was how long it took you to ease up your walls when it came to romance, and how easily you backed away whenever you were even slightly unsure of yourself. She didn’t want what was supposed to be a good day to end up becoming the reason you were 10 steps backwards in your trust again. And you knew that she was fighting to keep you for that reason alone.

You knew that if she let you leave, this version of you wouldn’t be the one to come back to her. It would be a more deceptive one. One that was better at executing your lies.

In all 3 years of your partnership, you'd never resisted the temptation to leave like you did now. You'd never been sick of the deception like you were now.

“I-” Ramonda ran through her mind trying to find something, anything to say.

“Are we okay?” she asked, because she needed to know. You failing to leave didn't mean that you wanted to stay.

“Sthandwa sam,” you sighed. All previous desires that you’d had to go without explanation flying out of the window at those words. Words you knew all too well.

You sat closer to her, not even a centimetre separating you. “We’re okay.” you reassured her.

A sigh of relief left her system, though she tried to make it seem unintentional.

“Today was perfect. You’re perfect.” you started, “I don’t want to go. But, I have- ” you stopped yourself there.

“You have what?” she asked.

“I can't.” you said, suddenly realising that your excuse lacked validity.

“What’s wrong?” She said in a tone so gentle, you nearly melted.

You tried to smile it off, “It’s nothing.”

Not taking that, she led her hand to your cheek, cupping your face.

“It’s not nothing.” she counter-argued. The glistening of your eyes told her that much.

“It's nothing reasonable. I mean.”

“So tell me…”

Breathless now, you couldn’t take your eyes off hers.

“I’m not a good sleeper.” you kept it brief.

Ramonda, though sceptical, felt her expression soften. “Meaning?”

“I’m restless and I wouldn’t want to disturb your sleep.”

“I can handle a little disruption.” She smirked.

“I wouldn’t call it little, Ramonda.”

“Well you've never disturbed me before. Why are suddenly worried about that now?”

You fell silent then, your body still with fear. Before you knew it, she was wiping tears away.

Embarrassed, anxious, and all other types of uncomfortable, you tried to get away from her, standing up.

“Please- don’t leave.” you heard. Again, it was firm and confident. But it was also thinly laced with a concern for you that only Ramonda possessed.

Your mind rushed with memories of earlier in the day. When you’d arrived back at the palace after work only to be greeted by just Ramonda. No Dora, no crown. Just the figure of her that bore no burden other than loving you.

That burden showed more that she’d have liked to admit. And though she always heavily denied that it was just that - a burden- something always rang at the back of your mind, telling you that she was lying. That she was holding the world up trying to please you and it was weighing her down more than ruling an entire country ever could.

Still, with that she welcomed you into her world once again. Knowing that you had one foot out of the door from the very beginning, but still holding some hope that maybe you’d choose to let the one inside the door lead you.

With a calming day indoors, filled with your usual banter and conversation. You knew that she thought it was going well. In your heart, you wanted it to be going well too. But that cloud of doubt never ceased to exist above you.

“I’m sorry.” you said. You were chuckling at yourself now, swiftly wiping your tears away before taking a deep breath in.

"I'm a mess and I can't tell you why." You lied again, deciding to pile on as many as you could now.

She stood up, "Come inside, my love. It'd be much easier to work this out without being in the cold." You couldn't disagree, nodding acceptingly, allowing her to wrap her arms around you and lead you back inside.

You can’t leave now. You'll have to wait until she makes you go. Which won’t take long; you thought.

She guided you inside of your room, letting you settle yourself on your side of the bed before sitting next to you.

You sat in an uncomfortable silence, Ramonda waiting to let you calm down more. When you seemed more stable, but you still refused to say anything, she sighed looking up at the ceiling.

"Aneka told me that you still have your old place by the river." She started. Your focus immediately went to her, her hand rushing to find hers. She let you hold her hand, but still she couldn't look at you.

"Is it true?"

"It's not lik-" you started, sighing and trying again, "Yes." Now she looked at you.

"My love...” You heard her whisper.

"It's not you. It's never been you."

"Then what is it?"

"It's… it's… complicated"

You spoke like you were ready to leave.

"I've got all night. We can uncomplicate it."

"I don't think it could really work like that, sthandwa."

“Why won’t you at least try to tell me so I can see for myself whether that is true?”

“Because if I do, and I am right, it’ll break me 10 times more than the first time.”

“What was the first time?”

Tired of the back and forth, and quite frankly tired of the secrets, you relented. "I have these nightmares…" you started to explain it all to her. From the very beginning.

You described the memories of you and your ex. The moments where the love that you had built suddenly turned into hate from them. How you could feel your uncertainty about them build up overtime. And how that feeling of safety that you'd often had before, faded into a mere foreign concept.

You told her about the worst days. When the abusive and toxic nature of the relationship had started to seep into your mind, flooding your thoughts even when you were far away from them.

You continued as Ramonda held you closely, listening to your every word.

"When I left, the nightmares started. Heightened memories of our worst days. The days when their words got to me the most. I stopped feeling safe entirely. My life, dictated by their words. I lost control of myself.” You wiped away your now, few tears, finding yourself thinking about the good that came after all that you’d been through.

“Then you came along. And you made me feel… wanted. You made me feel like I wasn't as bad of a person to deal with. Like my existence wasn’t a hindrance.

And for so long I hoped that that would be enough. That your love would wash away all of the bad nights and I'd be fully at peace for once. But it's never that simple. I still have those nightmares.”

Ramonda only held you closer now, feeling the weight of the burden you’d been carrying.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” she asked gently. Not angry, but curious.

“I didn’t tell you because it would make you think that I wasn’t happy. That you don’t make me happy and Bast, Ramonda, you make me more happy than anybody I’ve ever crossed paths with. I never for a moment wanted you to think that all your loving actions were in vain. I still don’t want you to.”

That final admission, where you felt yourself become your most vulnerable, was like a release in the chain of bad events that had happened to you in your life. It made you feel more than any other day with Ramonda ever had.

It felt better than the day you’d gone on your first date. Or the day she’d proposed to you with the sweetest speech you’d ever heard. It was more than all the gifts she’d gotten you and all the late night conversations you’d had.

It was so much more, because this time, you were finally able to give her the honesty that you’d longed to give her all this time. This time, you were putting your fear of hurting her feelings aside in an attempt to give her the reassurance that you trusted her.

That relief of being able to subtly say those words; I trust you. That was special.

You laid there, watching her process it all, and for a moment, even with your relief, you felt yourself begin to panic. Maybe it was too much.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn't have said all of that.”

“No. I’m glad you did. I’m glad you don’t have to keep it to yourself anymore.�� she said, “I’m sorry you felt like you had to keep that in for so long.”

“Don’t apologise. It has nothing to do with you.”

“But it has everything to do with you. And anything that has to do with you is immediately something I want to know.” she looked at you with the faintest smile on her face, her signal to you that told you she wasn’t mad.

“I want to be here for all your moments, sthandwa sam. I want to celebrate your good news with you and I want to cry at your bad news just as intensely. You’re worth every minute of sleep that I lose at the hands of holding you after those nightmares.”

Hearing that, you tried to shake your head in disagreement.

“No I’m no-”

“Yes you are Y/n.” she kissed your hand tenderly.

“I don’t expect you to believe me just yet, but I’m willing to let you know that you are, over and over again. I’m willing to hold you as close to me as you need every night until the day I die. I’ll do it all if it means you’ll feel safe again.”

You were left speechless, trying to find the words to respond to that, but honestly you knew that you wouldn’t be able to. She meant every word, and you felt every bit of her emotion.

With your hand still in hers, she settled herself in bed, looking at you as you watched her hesitantly.

“Let me hold you tightly… and let me choose to never let go.” she said.

Hours later, when you felt yourself begin to stir awake, your heart racing as yet another night terror played itself out in your head, you felt yourself rising up.

Opening your eyes, and finding tears in them, you wiped them away in embarrassment.

More doubt crept up in you, and once again, the odds seemed to be stacked against you.

There was no way this could all work.

You were just too much.

When you tried to rise up from bed, wanting to get your things and leave, you felt an arm touch yours.

You looked down, seeing what you’d previously thought would be a sleeping Ramonda, definitely awake.

She laid, watching you with barely awake eyes. You’d clearly woken her up.

“I’m sorry.” you apologised.

But when you thought you’d be met with anger, or pity, you were only met with a warm and welcoming expression, Ramonda sitting up and opening her arms to you.

“Come here.” she said, waiting patiently but firmly.

You were slow, but after a few deep breaths, you found yourself drawn to her touch, wanting that protection.

Her warm embrace seemed to ease your mind for the first time in a while. Her presence calmed you, and you felt cared for in a completely new way.

“It’s you and me, my love. I can assure you that you will never have to wake up without me by your side to ease your worry. My arms are your new home to know forever. They will be here whenever you need them. And I will always be here for you.”

#queen ramonda x female reader #queen ramonda angst #queen ramonda #queen ramonda x reader #ramonda x reader #black panther fanfiction #black panther fics

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