#ah yes the favorite manga - love it but also hate it!

[hihopelessromantics]

The Learner Learns Nothing

In which the writing of Seven Deadly Sins expects us to believe that Merlin, the glutton for knowledge, is incapable of learning what really matters over the course of her 3,000 year journey. 

I wrote this inspired by @zeldriszezinho‘s comment on how Merlin was able to reactivate Elizabeth’s curse. The implication that Merlin at some point during the 3000 years gained the ability to break the curse and could have done it AT ANY TIME from that point forward absolutely blew my mind. 

If so canon Merlin is DEAD to me I swear that is so WRONG.

I've never seen a master manipulator character written like this before and I'm not even sure if this is a good way to write a trick villain or whatever the hell she was supposed to be. It sure is baffling so nakaba got that right. I was just as shocked and disbelieving as the sins were. Still am. Regardless of how well it fits her “canon” character and personality it is NOT consistent with the found family themes 😭 Plus it would make her RIDICULOUSLY overpowered... how would she have as much power as a god without serious consequences? And literately no one noticed, ever? Britannia started literately falling apart when Meliodas had that much magical power.

You know what I think I will jump on the hating canon Merlin bandwagon with you zeldriszezinho. I am stitching the Merlins from fanfictions together to make a better, healthier one as a present to the sins for all they've gone through together.

Merlin is just - ugh - it’s too sad. Everyone else gets to be, as the people who remember English class would say, a round character, including many of the antagonists! Tons of minor characters get memorable moments of growth, but Merlin, one of the major characters? She stays static for the most part. Trapped as a plot device until the very end. The narrative leaves her alone, torn away from her found family by an insane twist that I don’t quite understand.

 It’s like Merlin never gave a second thought to how the sins are acting. Ten years out of 3,000 isn’t a lot but someone as smart and observant as Merlin should have seen the way the other sins treat her. They knew close to nothing about her, and she constantly isolated herself emotionally and physically from them, but they never made a move to exclude her from the group, or pry too much, or question her origins. They just loved her unconditionally even though she wouldn’t let them in. There was so much raw potential for her character to have a unique and complicated bond with the sins as a group. Maybe it should have been the wakeup call she needed that the unhealed child inside of her could still learn to receive love. That it wasn’t too late to have a life outside her chaos obsession. Canon left us with a pretty unsatisfying answer as to why she acted the way she has. Like hmmm. Really?

Canon Merlin, you had 3,000 years to decide whether to seek help for your childhood trauma and learn how to love in a somewhat healthy manner and you want me to believe you didn't even try that route??? And that on top of that you effectively prolonged the torment of the only two people shown to love you unconditionally? Whom you supposedly loved in return?? Uhhh heyo! I don't believe you. And also I am holding a sword to your throat getting your shit together is no longer optional.

Sure Merlin can be seen as a character study of how obsession can cause someone to forsake all other aspects of life. We saw it in Frankenstein - saw what became of that whole spectacle and how quickly the perpetrator learned that they didn't actually want [insert here], they were just looking for that basic hierarchy of human needs and weren't ready for the responsibility that comes when using the pursuit of scientific advancement as a substitute for, idk, I think in Merlin's case it would be coming to terms with essentially being treated as a weapon due to her abilities. (meliodas and Elizabeth parallel anyone?? We were robbed of three child soldiers learning to love together and be a family smh thanks a lot gods ) anyway back on topic. What Merlin and Frankenstein have in common throughout their story there are a lot of opportunities that they didn't take, and friends that they kept brushing off, never confiding in them until it was crisis time. Frankenstein's story is a tragedy - he keeps abandoning the rational thought and commitment to ethics that make a good scientist. Any second during his story, while he was neglecting correspondence from friends, neglecting to sleep and eat and pay attention to his needs as a person that the obsession had tossed in the trash bin, he was free to say “hey actually I CAN spare a second from my neverending workload to breathe and think about what's important to me. Why I'm doing this? And how I could do it better. Have I learned anything in this latest deep dive into knowledge?” Instead he is ruled by his emotions, which in the end, keep him from properly emphasizing with other people and actually achieving what he wanted to do. I don't even remember if Frankenstein KNEW what he wanted to get out of his experiments. Probably not considering this the way he immediately freaked out when it actually WORKED. And then it was crisis time, so he goes to his friends, but does he confide in them what really happened? What part he had in it and how he feels about the whole thing? Don't think so. So they just think he's depressed as fuck and going a little crazy. They're completely unable to help him in any substantial way. 

We see this with Merlin. She has to have complete control of the situation at all times so she tells no one. If she can get this ONE THING right finally everything will fall into place. That must be what she thought. But what the hell? Knowledge is and has always been collaborative. We know she was never learning just to learn or for the love of it - it was a poor substitute for the love and attention a child needs to grow up with a good understanding of how to pursue fulfillment. So she was always aiming to accomplish something with her knowledge and all around her were people working together to accomplish something. Hell, she worked together with the sins to accomplish her goal. 3,000 years. She stopped her own time. Physically, right? Or was it mental too? The science there doesn't seem to work with the brain literately rewiring itself as it gets new experiences so. We're just meant to assume she spent 3,000 years trapped in the same mindset while traveling all over Britannia and interacting with God knows how many people. Just out of pure necessity to survive and obtain the information and tools she needs she would have to interact with a LOT of people. That's not even mentioning the people she did research on. And we're expected to believe she didn't learn anything that would make Merlin- smart, curious, motivated little Merlin who tricked two GODS on the OFF CHANCE that what they give her will satisfy the hole in her heart - didn't learn enough about human behavior to give abandoning love and true connection a second thought? Or even TRY to engage meaningfully with anyone? It's not like she had never made that connection with anyone before. What about Meliodas? What about 106 Elizabeths? 

This twist that Merlin might have been manipulating the Sins all along, rather than blowing the reader’s mind with the clues and clever foreshadowing that were there all along, blows a hole in the overarching themes in the story. Merlin’s betrayal is a catastrophe of the highest proportions because it calls into question EVERYTHING they learned up until that point. What she did would cause extensive trauma to everyone involved - all this time they believed that hey, maybe fate brought us together, wasn’t it so good that we finally found people that could understand us? And now they are questioning all of it. So yeah, emotionally, the twist does what it is supposed to. It hurts. But... it doesn’t make sense.  Being in the Seven Deadly Sins causes every other member to learn how to reconcile with themselves, their pasts, their feelings, and their relationships. Why is Merlin the exception? This feels like disappointing writing and a huge waste of character potential. 

It's not like abandoning all emotion and other desires was remotely necessary for Merlin to achieve her goal. She's had fun along the way and that's shown to us. Why are we given ‘i used to have a crush on Meliodas’ as a reason why she would give up on connection or whatever? Merlin that was literally 3,000 years ago when you were 12(?). You didn't talk to anyone about THEIR childhood crushes in all that time? And it's not like Meliodas ever stopped loving or caring about her. Even after getting his emotions stolen bit by bit he only abandons her and the rest of the sins out of necessity. Here she's got a good friend to confide in. And he's EXACTLY the kind of friend she needs if she wants to resurrect an old god! Meliodas is trusting, supportive, willing to Go the Distance for anything he believes in, AND desperate enough to consider extreme courses of action in order to break his and Elizabeth's curses.

All Merlin has to do to potentially get Mel on board is say, "Hey, some of my personal research has turned up something I think you might be interested in. The existence of an old god that the Supreme Deity and Demon King locked away because they feared her power and didn't want her to interfere with their goals.  I've been curious about rumors like these since I was a child, and now I have finally found enough solid evidence to confirm that this god exists. It stands to reason that such a god would be able and even willing to help with the curse on you and Sis-sis. Not a timely solution, but a good plan B or C. I'll be looking into it, and I'll let you know if I find anything that could help you."

What's Meliodas going to say to that? Probably, "Thanks, Merlin!"

He was not afraid of potentially starting an "age of Chaos" when his father told him that is what killing him would mean. Chaos is a mysterious entity of both darkness and light, good and evil, creation and destruction. Previously worshipped by goddesses and feared by the demons. Its agenda, if it even has one, is even more mysterious than Merlin's was before the big reveal. As far as I can infer, Chaos (without the influence of fantasy racism) seems just as likely to bring balance as it could bring upheaval. Something that Britannia desperately needs. And since Chaos is the mother of life in this universe, why would it destroy everything it has created?

It makes sense that if he had known, Meliodas would have been wary of this god, and warned Merlin to be careful, but in the end... wouldn't he have as much reason to help his friend as he would to stop her? Why continue on to release Chaos after the curse is already broken? Fair question. But why not?

Meliodas just wants to live in peace with his loved ones. If releasing Chaos means an "age of Chaos" will occur, well, that just means going back to the beginning, before the eternal game between the Supreme Deity and Demon King. So. The same unknowns that he's faced in his life thus far, except the two dictators manipulating everyone into an eternal war are replaced with the creator of life itself? That would actually sound pretty good to Meliodas, right?

Chaos is disappointed with the weakness of humanity but acknowledged it as, hehehe religious parallels my beloved, "the race most like itself, that embodies its values." Now, this could be 4+ years of religion classes talking but Chaos's previous goal before the Holy War seems to have been to create a race "in its own image." And it did. The question is, now what? I doubt this god is capable of being truly evil because why would evil create creatures with moral compasses? Evil cannot create good and vice versa. We the audience know what happened in Four Knights of the Apocolypse thus far regarding Chaos's preference to humans, but Meliodas and the other Sins have no reason to suspect the entity of chaos would ever go full genocide mode on its own creations. A god that creates all life according to a set of intricate rules (physics, etc.) tends to have patterns of behavior that make sense. Creating everything just to kill it all off doesn't really make sense.

Merlin could damn well have told the Sins, or even just Meliodas, that her goal is to resurrect the original god of their universe that was locked away by the Demon King and the Supreme Deity, who play with people's lives for fun and obviously freaking suck - without making herself look like she has a) gone off the deep end or b) working toward an evil goal that they should immediately put a stop to by any means necessary.

Instead, she just tricks Meliodas and the Sins outright in the most painful way possible. Wtf?

She doesn’t have a solid reason to hurt the people who love her like no one ever has. Who, in their own messy way, have treasured her like her own parents and her people never did.

The twist that her true goal all along was to release Chaos would still work, both as a plot mechanic and for shock value. What’s not shocking about your friend actually being serious about releasing an ancient god, and doing it so soon after Britannia was nearly destroyed by a Holy War? The Sins would have been shocked and hurt all the same with how she orchestrated them coming together, trained Arthur for this exact purpose, and prompted Meliodas to confront and kill his father - all things which were ultimately for the best for all of the races, but with Merlin’s questionable choices, involved a lot more trauma for everyone. Hell, if Merlin got a character arc like the others, the Chaos reveal would actually hurt the Sins MORE. Instead of realizing they didn’t really know her, they would be realizing that the sense of warmth and belonging and the bonds they had forged with each other hadn’t reached Merlin’s heart. That whatever effort they had put into bonding with her wasn’t enough, it didn’t help her the way she had - the way they thought she had helped them. That they had been oblivous to their friend’s suffering and emptiness, that she didn’t trust them the way they trusted her, etc, etc. A deeper and more cutting reveal if you asked me. 

As it is, the reveal makes it so that they didn’t lose a friend and member of their found family. They lost a person who was just... there. Forgotten until it was strictly neccessary for her to be there. Who never truly cared (?). While that’s sad, it’s... not what it could be if she had gotten the chance to genuinely be a part of the sins, physically and emotionally. 

It seems to me that in the moment, Meliodas doesn't seem overly concerned about Chaos. He's angry that Merlin would be willing to blindside and manipulate him, making light of a friendship that's spanned over 3,000 years, for the sake of something that might not even exist. He's angry she seems to value that over everything she already has. Is this the only thing she truly cared about? Was he and his loved ones nothing but pawns to her, just as he was a pawn to his father? Same with the other Sins - they don't know what's going on, but they are angry and hurt at the prospect that their friendship with Merlin was a lie.

THIS, Merlin could have avoided entirely! She is an intelligent, powerful woman - a genius according to some of the most powerful demons alive - and she has BETTER OPTIONS! Choices. By all means, she could have had wonderful, meaningful times with the Sins for all of their journey together, and kept them as friends afterward, maybe finding true fulfillment in the process. All without giving up her pursuit of releasing Chaos. 

She could have learned. Why didn’t she? 

[iinariah]

If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite romantic relationship's couples in books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series (can be canon or non-canon)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

HI OMG IM SO SORRY FOR THE VERY LATE REPLY, IVE BEEN VERY BUSY BUT SURE! And since I'm a multishipper, I'll just list my top 5 ships out of fandoms I've been in

FengCui: Feng Xiao x Cui Buqu (Wushuang/Peerless) - The reason I love this ship so much and is my top 1 out of all the shows and books ive read and watched is because I'm so in love with their dynamic, development, and interactions with each other. They first start of as rivals then gradually start to fall for each other with each case they work and time they spent togther. I also loved the fact that the author didn't use stereotypical tropes with the main cp. While its enemies to lovers, to me, it's enemies AND lovers because when they do get together, their dynamic didn't change and they still remained the same. And that's one of the reasons why I love this pair so much.

2. Cezhou: Shen Zechuan x Xiao Chiye (Qiang Jin Jiu/Ballad of Sword and Wine) - I honestly debated if this should be my top 1 but I ultimately decided this would be my top 2 mainly bc I prefer fengcui's dynamic more, But of course, that doesn't make this ship any less great and amazing! In my opinion, this is enemies to lovers with sexual tension done right. I used to hate the trope enemies to lovers because of experience and personal things... But this ship changed my perspective on it a lot. Even though they got together early in the novel, they're still the ship that has the most amazing development and growth I've seen in such as a long time.

3. Hualian: Xie Lian x Hua Cheng (Heaven Official's Blessing) - Ah yes... the classic. I had to put them at my top 3 because TGCF and hualian is what mainly got me into danmei and to this day, I still adore them with all my heart and I'll never ever forget how they made such a huge impact on me... They're like romeo and juliet but done right. They're also the couple that made my standards so unrealistic to the point that I think I'll never ever be able to find someone to love as much as how much they love each other... As much as they're unrealistic, they also made an impact on how I view love in general. I also relate to hua cheng when it comes to appearances because dawg... I am also so insecure of that as well... and when Hua Cheng is insecure about it and Xie Lian is just telling him that he's gorgeous and not ugly like he thinks he is just makes me want to cry because that validation and comforting words is what all of us insecure people need. Just having the reassurance that we're perfect just the way we are...

4. Lucathy: Lucas x Athanasia De Alger Obelia/Athy (Who Made Me a Princess) - I LOVE THEM SO MUCH! Athy is so precious to me and I will protect her at all cost! And I love how their relationship just naturally progresses on the time the spent together and isn't just immediate love at first sight. And I also love how lucas went from "I'm going to watch this bc this is entertaining" to "If you ever hurt her, I'll destroy all of obelia" and bro... LUCAS IS SO WHIPPED FOR ATHY ITS SO FUNNY AHAHAH (Also reminds me on how Xiao Chiye is so whipped for Shen Zechuan but that's another time). And not only that, but I love how Lucas got back from his quest, heard about how Athy got humiliated, bro was like: "Should I kill him?" like bro did not care if it was her father, if someone did shit to her, he would deal with them.

5. LoidYor: Loid Forger x Yor Forger (Spy x Family) - BRO I IMMEDIATELY FELL IN LOVE WITH THIS SHIP!! Assassin x Spy? OH HELL YEA! I've honestly been waiting for this kind of trope for such a long time lol. Not only that, but I low how yor is such a girlboss and protects her family even if it isn't real. I honestly really like their progression so far and I hope that they honestly become a family in the end... I have nothing really much to say about this ship because I haven't been keeping up with SXF but I really love them and they're trope because I haven't seen Assassin x Spy trope in fandoms I've been in.

So here are my ships! There are a lot more than these but I just decided to pick which ones that I really love the most and rank them by that. Anyways, thanks for reading this blog!

[freehideoutpuppy]

I need to share my triumph of making people see Bakugo as the shitstain that he is, lol. So, storytime a couple of weeks ago, I was out with my BFF. we were at this arcade type place that's open super late, and I had on my Midoriya hero costume backpack purse(it's my favorite) and this guy saw it and complimented it and was like oh cool! I guess he's your favorite then, and I'm like, yes! Though Todoroki is, of course, a close second. Guy then went on to say he like Bakugo best, and because autism and my brain to mouth filter being shit at this point, thanks pandemic, I just snorted and went ah yes the character that has the least character development, the worst backstory, and has been an abusive jerk from the beginning and hasn't stopped.

The dude was like,"What do you mean he's great?"

So I pulled up the scene from season 5, where Bakugo throws his headpiece at Midoriya and impaled him with it. And then mentioned his apology scene that I went into detail about on here a couple of months ago and did a short summary of why it was wrong. And went oh yes, so much character development. His abuse is funny now instead of being considered bad. His apology was just victim blaming and complaining about how much better Midoriya is as a person than him. And the guy just looked at me and had this look of horror and realization. And when he finally responded, it was glorious! "I never thought of it like that, but now that you brought it up, no wonder you hate him." Which was kind of awesome because some Bakugo fans are really unreasonable in their love of him, so it was refreshing not to have the guy jump down my throat for not liking him. Especially since I have genuine criticisms about Bakugo. Could he have been a good character? Yes? Is he a good character as far as the manga/ anime is concerned? No. His character development is 1 step forward 5 steps back, and I hate that.

Also, my BFF is an enabler she doesn't watch or read mha and all the knowledge she has comes from myself and another friend of ours ranting about it, but she enjoys hearing my rants about why I dislike Bakugo so much lol. I love her for that she's the best.

[k-martins]

Ah, about today's episode… I liked? I saw so many people talking about the substandard quality, especially since we just saw one of the best episodes (wow, the Choso vs. Yuji fight was fantastic!) and that's okay, I guess. Everyone can have their opinions. Particularly, I liked how this episode was handled, from Mei Mei's fight to Dagon's dominance. Could be better? I think so. To be honest, I don't know much about animation and I'm very oblivious (I only noticed that there were scenes with ghosting when they pointed it out in the grasshopper episode, until then I hadn't even noticed it T-T), so I'm not speaking as an artist or master on the subject. . I also joined the JJK fandom not long ago and the anime community even less time ago, so I'm not that attached to the manga adaptation (seriously, I saw people arguing over camera angles and I was so confused, until I remembered the scenes from my book that were never adapted in the film). But it's not the episode itself that I came to talk about. It's just… I saw so many people criticizing the animation, making cruel jokes about the scenes, and saying terrible things to the animators. This makes me a little sad. This gets worse when I see the animators themselves, people who worked their hardest to do the best they could with an inhumane deadline, apologizing. Seriously, there was one of them who said "sorry for ruining such an incredible work". This made me so sad, especially because this episode was made at the last minute. One of the animators had to work on this scene below in two days. TWO DAYS!!!! While working on another project!!!! Seriously, what the fuck???? And the worst thing is that the episode wasn't bad! The scenes in Dagon's domain were my favorites. I liked how Naobito's ability was adapted and the action scenes were fun to watch. Maki was doing very well and Nanamin even more so. Megumi was also amazing. In the end, the only opinion that matters is mine. If I liked it, I'm going to shout about it whether or not everyone is against me. What I'm trying to say is that, in the end, most people are going with the flow when commenting on the episode. It's a herd effect. One person starts saying something and then another person agrees, and then another and another until a large number have the same thought. It's like theories. That's okay, after all, human beings are social animals. Anyway, just to say that it's okay to like something that the majority didn't like (and vice versa). It's okay to follow the "herd" or have your personal opinion. And most importantly, be kind to the people working on the anime, even if it isn't meeting your expectations. There's no reason to hate someone who's just doing their job, let alone harass them and make them feel like crap. These people have dreams, desires and families to support. If you want to blame anyone, blame Mappa for giving a ridiculous deadline (seriously, it still shocks me that the previous episode was ready two days before it aired!). Anyway, I'm only posting this because I know that my posts have gotten a little further than I expected (I love you all for that, it's very exciting to see my notification box full) and I also know that most people have no idea what that's happening behind the scenes. So yes, be kind and discuss amicably with people on the internet.

[all-hallows-street]

Lingzi's Odaibako/Twitter Answers Collection Volume 1

In case you weren't aware, the author of 1031 All Saints Street Lingzi has a twitter account they update rarely, mostly rt'ing announcements of the Japanese release, 1031 fanart, Jpns comedians, and sometimes posting doodles and answering fan questions through Odaibako. You can still send questions/comments/requests through Odaibako but please be respectful and mindful! As the author stated they will not respond to any questions or suggestions about future content! Also do not spam, Lingzi answers in rare bursts so they might not get to answer your comment any time soon. Here is a compilation of what has been answered so far. Chinese questions and answers are being machine translated and I'm verifying with a friend the Japanese questions translations.

A few clarifications. I will skip some doodle requests/drawn answers and will compile them later in a post with all of Lingzi's twitter drawings. Everything with [] marks an edit so the English sounds more natural.

1. Hello~ Lingzi! What made you want to become a manga artist?

To put it simply, it was because of a domestic comic called "Super Alloy Society". At that time (around 14 years old), I became completely obsessed with it after reading a few chapters, and I was very eager to draw such a work myself 😌

Source

2. Does Nick [have] feeling[s] towards Lynn?

ummm······I would say it's more like “he is curious about/interested in Lynn”

Source

3. Who out of all the character would have the [ugliest] laugh?

Ah-never thought about this before, maybe broken [Cupid]？

Source

4. Will we get stories about Nick's university friends? Their designs are so cool and I would love to know more about them!

maybe? 🤔🤔 let me ask my editor next time.

Source

5. anyone you relate to in the series?

Does this count? Look that is my name on the background 🤣🤣

Source

6. Which character do you enjoy drawing [the most]?

Definitely Nick[.] He's the easiest to draw, also [the] sexiest. 😌

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6. Lingzi, do angles live longer than demons?

Yes! Angels basically cannot pass away unless they are killed. Teacher Lynn's age is also in the three digits~

Source

7. I really, really, REALLY love All Saints Street. Thank you so much for creating this series! There are so many diverse characters, and I love the charming and relaxed atmosphere. I find it really difficult to choose a favorite character because I just love them all so much (Nick is objectively the best though). It encouraged me to try learning to read Chinese again in order to read the manhua. Again, thank you so much for creating this!

Wow I'm flattered, thank you for [liking] my manhua 😳😳 I will do my best to keep [it] going!

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8. A work of my pleasure! I love you! I love “All Saints Street”! I love you big hair! Thank you for creating such wonderful works!

[Thank you]! 😊😊 Hope you will like the Japanese [dubbed] version too~

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9. This is not an ask but I wanted to say thank you for your hard work! Your series makes me very happy and I love it so much! It's inspired me more to continue making my own characters and helped me create art more. thank you so much! <3

Thank you too 😊😊 Glad I [..] helped.

Source

Not a question but a fact related to a previous question that is very much lore relevant:

Fun fact: Although angels live much longer than demons, because demons can reproduce independently but angels cannot, the number of angels is currently less than one-tenth of the number of demons. ( ← A small private device

Source

10. Can Lynn turn into a girl like Nick and Neil?

No~ Transfiguration is a demon thing.

Source

11. Can Ira taste demon blood? or does he hate it?

He can [...] but demon blood is always too strong for vampires, one bite is like [drinking] ten cups of coffee at once[.] They can get really hyperactive by drinking demon blood. Some vampires may like it, but not Ira. (And it's really bad for vampire kid[s])

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12. Hi! This is not a question but i wanted to tell you that I REALLY LOVE ALL SAINTS STREET, since 2020 i been in love with this manhua/donghua, thank you for create all saints street, the manhua/donghua really help me in hard times and inspire me to create my own comics. I really love the characters specially Abu and Luis ❤️

Thank you too, glad you enjoy my work 😊😊

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13. Who gives the best hugs?

Maybe?

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14. Why are Lily's wings so small compared to other angels?

No special reason, I just think it's cuter this way.

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REALLY IMPORTANT NOTE: IN CHINESE FANDOMS C P MEANS CHARACTER PAIRING, IS HOW THEY REFER TO SHIPS/SHIPPING

I will replace it with ship because I don't want the use the acronym due to tumblr search.

15. Will it be very Lynn/Nick? Because people keep telling me that Nini/Lily is the official ship, I am troubled. If the original painting is very bad, it feels like I have violated someone else's OC. I'm very sorry for disturbing you, and I really like your illustrations and works!

To answer this question, mainstream ship ≠ is correct. I think any ship has a reason to exist as long as some people like it. I don’t think it is a minefield at all... and even "official" ship does not mean anything. What kind of ship you want to consume is completely up to you, and you don’t need to ask for my opinion, just be happy

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Continued in Part 2!

[zacksfairest]

Top 5 favorite books of 2023 and 5 least favorite books, go!

Oh boy! I was so very kind to myself this year and read mostly bangers. Let's see what we've got.

The Dragon Republic by R.F. Kuang. Now, I love the entire Poppy War trilogy, make no mistake about that. It completely rewired my brain and has firmly taken up the spot of Favorite Series Ever. But The Dragon Republic specifically was just It for me. It gave me everything. A well thought out and executed campaign of war, not sparing us the grizzly details (civilian casualties, civilian displacement, the logistics of moving a large army, how ACTUAL BATTLES work), as well as WAR CRIMES. But in addition to that, I was given Rin and Nezha. The epitome of Show Not Tell where it comes to developing feelings. Hateful schoolmates turned comrades in arms turned almost lovers turned mortal enemies. A tragedy that serves as a mere backdrop to the larger tragedy happening in the country at large due to a lingering invading force and a newly sparked civil war. This was easily my favorite book of the year, and I have been chasing the high from reading it ever since. Outbound Flight by Timothy Zahn. Yeah, I've owned this book since 2006 and never read it. What about it? I am well aware that was a major blunder on my part. Perhaps had I read it sooner, I would have been able to hop on the Thrawn train much sooner than 30 years late. This book truly had me sucked in right from the start. Young soldier Thrawn? Dedicated to his troops and his people? Willing to do anything to keep his people safe from the dangers that lurk in the infinite abyss if the universe? Swoon worthy. And also watching Maris be all heart eyes over Thrawn was a big Same Girl moment. Mr. Zahn knew what he was doing to us all along. Yet another book that understands how battles work! And with characters at the helm that are actual good tacticians and understand how battles work also. Dark Force Rising by Timothy Zahn. Yes. Another Thrawn book. Shut up. I loved the entirety of the (original) Thrawn trilogy, but this one really stood out. Leia was allowed to do her thing and be a force to be reckoned with in her own right. Also it felt good seeing a pregnant woman not be sidelined just because she was pregnant. Leia Organa-Solo does not stop and will not be stopped. This was yet another book that understood war and tactics, as well as the espionage that goes into ensuring proper battle plans can be laid out. I owe Zahn my life for being so consistent with this content, as I am a drowning lass in a sea of books that do not fucking understand how this shit works. Also, Thrawn won this round, which felt good. Felt organic. Hell Bent by Leigh Bardugo. AH, YES. The book that proved I was right to put my faith in Bardugo and her plans for Ninth House. We got hot demons! We got fucked up journeys to hell! We got vampires! We got it all here, folks! I'm still super hoping that we get to see someone fuck Darlington by the third book. I want to see that demon dick in action. I hope it's fucked up. The Stolen Heir by Holly Black. This one went an entirely different route than I thought. I expected your standard YA fare: hot dude and meek girl meet, are at odds for a bit, fall in love, etc., except with fae. I should have known better. It's Holly Black, after all. Instead I got a viscious girl as my main character, a hot fae dude (Oak, baby. You're all gown up!), but they have most definitely not fallen in love by the end of this book. I got to put this on my Problematic Villain Love Interests shelf on goodreads! And not even for the reason I usually do! I still think about that final line: "I can't pretend that I don't like the sound of him screaming my name."

As for our bottom five... well. It's a bottom three. Like I said, I was kind to myself this year (also I read a lot of manga. Don't look at me.)

The Resistance Girl by Jina Bacarr. We don't talk about this one. I technically started reading it at the end of 2022, but I didn't finish it until we were decently into 2023. So it counts. It was awful. Terrible. An affront to the written word. And not for the reasons that everyone was up in arms about it. Writing was terrible. Characters were awful and indistinguishable from each other. Plot was bad. Dialogue was the worst slop I've ever laid eyes on. Descriptions not much better. It was just awful. A Curse for True Love by Stephanie Garber. This one was a spirit breaker. The Ballad of Neverafter was so goddamned good. The ending specifically was spectacular and left us off on a wonderfully torturous cliffhanger. I was so excited for what the final book had in store. However, I was so caught up in the euphoria of having a delightful fucked up immortal love interest in Jacks, that I forgot that Garber is Not Great at ending her series. The book overall really wasn't fantastic (a tragedy), but there was a Specific Line toward the end that fucking just. Ruined the entire book for me. Lowkey ruined the whole series, but I fight hard to prevent that from being the case. I loved the first two books so much. I refuse to let terrible storytelling and copouts and a single retcon ruin it for me. Final Fantasy VII Remake: Traces of Two Pasts by Kazushige Nojima. This one was really just a big letdown. It was just a meandering tale of Tifa and Aerith's childhoods. We somehow just completely skipped over how traumatic their respective experiences were at the hands of Shinra. We instead decided to give me boring as fuck stories about their everyday lives. Like. I get it. This is really just a money grab and a way to generate hype for FFVII: Rebirth. But still. Have some pride in your work, Square! Have pride in your characters! Let the writers have fun! I still stand by the idea that the translator might have had a bit to do with why I didn't enjoy it, though. The Kids Are Alright remains one of my favorite books, and the writing for that was fantastic. It was written by the same guy who wrote this book! And it had, what I would say is, the best english translation for a Japanese novel I've ever read. But the translator who worked on the FFXV novel The Dawn of the Future also worked on this Tifa and Aerith centric novel, and I wasn't a giant fan of the writing in the FFXV book either. So while the translator probably played a part in how much this book disappointed me, I don't think much could have saved the meandering plot and redundant experiences contained within.

[datastate]

7, 16, 31 for the sapphic ask game?

7: have you ever crushed on a straight girl?

yes, by a technicality...?! there was a close friend i had around 14/15 who i ended up crushing on before they realized they were bisexual (or transmasc bwehehe) & i had given advice for them with their boyfriend they'd had for about three years at this point...?

anyway. he ended up being quite the creep abt their bisexuality, with general homophobic remarks directed toward. me. simply for existing as a lesbian who happened to be his girlfriend's friend & confidant - i'd never made any advances other than the occasional teasing remark since they revealed to be bisexual, but you know how it is.

in any case. after they inevitably broke up here, it took a few months for me to realize: "ah, these feelings aren't going away, are they..." & on one evening, my friend asked if we could call... and we essentially confessed around the same time. thus: my second girlfriend...! and my most recent one. however, after covid it became much more difficult to keep in contact, especially once they moved countries. i'd say we're still on friendly terms, but it's been abt a year since we've really had a chance to speak consistently </3 alas.

16: do you consider being sapphic a big part of your identity?

very much so! romantic orientation is something that actively affects people's lives & the dynamics formed from there. although transgenderism is also important to me, i can ultimately brush past dysphoria when i'm misgendered because i have resigned myself to knowing i am never going to be gendered correctly due to most people's social perceptions.

even if i believe there are no longer viable opportunities for me to have a romantic relationship, and i rarely experience romantic attraction in the first place, i find it to be an inextricable part of myself and how i interact with the people around me - especially if they, too, are gay/trans girls.

31: LEAST favorite sapphic character?

aheem. can i be honest. can i be real... i really ended up hating rae from fell in love w the villainess. i was incredibly disappointed with where the show went, and i ended up rebuking my benefit of the doubt before the season was finished </3 even if it is better in the manga, i doubt i'll have the patience to read it.

[le-panda-chocovore]

Hello.... If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite romantic relationship's couples in books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series (can be canon or non-canon)? Feel free if you want to write the reasons or not of why you love them...Thanks if you want to answer....

Hello !

That's a dangerous ask, I don't know if I'll be able to answer... Do you have any idea how many books/manga/movies I read/watched and how much I loved them ? Making me listing things is like the worst thing you could ask T_T

I'll skip books because 1. I don't usually ship people -or all my ships are canons- when I read a novel and 2. there's way too many books I can't sort them all.

Let's try this game ~

Okay I'll only talk about my absolute favs, even tho I know it'll still be too long

Manga / Anime !

MHA/BNHA : EraserMic, BakuDeku (i KNOW they're toxic but I have a very precise idea of their relationship)

JJK (I'm already crying why would you make me do this) : SuguSato.

AssClass : Karushuu, Karmagisa, GakuRen (no I couldn't choose one true pair)

Haikyuu (ah... you lost me here, good luck for reading lol) : Iwaoi, KuroKen, BokuAka, UshiTen, BokuAkaKuroKen (yes the four of them), MatsuHana, TsukkiYama, KuroTsukki, AkaKen, BoKuroo, AsaNoya, KageHina, SugaSawa

ATLA : Zukka, Sukka (suki x zuko x sokka), MaiLee

ORV : Kim Dokja x Yoo Jonghyuk

OP : Shuggy

Death Note : L x Light

19Days : Jian Yi x Zheng Xi

Shows & Series (animated or not)

Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel : Static Moth (vox x val), FizzarOzzie, AngelHusk, Charlie x Vaggie

The Sandman : Dreamling also known as centennial husbands ( Dream x Hob Gadling)

Good Omens : AziraCrow also known as ineffable spouses/husbands/wives/idiots, Adam x Warlock, Newt x Anathema

Loki disney+ : Lokius

TGP : all the canon couples

Young Royals : WilMon

Movies :

Avengers/MCU : IronFrost (Loki x Tony Stark), Stucky

LOTR/Hobbit : Gigolas, Bagginshield, SamFrodo

HP (I know, we do NOT talk about this franchise) : WolfStar (Remus x Sirius)

Let's stop there because I can't think of anything else right now and there are already way too many ships lmao. It'll be worse if I justify them, anyway most of them are obvious so I won't need to lol

Just gonna precise some little things :

About AssClass my vision is Karmagisa / GakuRen when we're talking about Junior High but Karushuu if I imagine the after-manga when they're in High School

Haikyuu is just, multiship, allship, ship everywhere and everything, heterosexuality doesn't exist anyway. Polyships ? Of course, since they all love each other !!

Hear me out for One Piece, Shanks and Buggy are that messy ex-couple that hate each other because they were never able to move on, so they still fuck sometimes.

Never ask me something like that again, I will lose myself in thoughts (please don't hesitate to ask for more, I love talking)

[nebulacritter]

here are some other fandoms i'm in, and i haven't really talked about them.

Some pieces of media haven't been mentioned here, so that's why I'm going to do it right now.

Ratboy Genius

Say all you want about this series. We get that many of you think it's from "the weird part of YouTube", but I think it's strangely adorable in a way. The character concepts are really zany, the plots are cool, and the musical numbers are pretty silly! Ratboy Genius might look souless at first, but you'll see how wonderful it is if you get into it.

Merman in My Tub

This series is actually pretty neat, and no, it's not a BL. The characters are just friends, okay? I've watched the anime, and I've read one book of the manga, and I have to say it's also pretty silly. My favorite characters are Agari the shy shark and Echizen the mean ol' crab. I've always wanted to see an anime or manga where it's about a bunch of monster boys hanging out, so this is the right thing for me!

Mega Man

Ah yes. The Blue Bomber himself. I've known a lot about the classic series, but I love the other incarnations of Mega Man just the same. I love cool robot stuff, so of course would like Mega Man, right? Also, I tried to beat the original Mega Man games one time, but I kept on dying and dying. Poor me.

Yo-Kai Watch

No, it's not a Pokemon clone. Yo-Kai watch is amazing because I think the monster designs can get real imaginative sometimes! I hate to admit it, but I'm kind of a "genwunner" when it comes to this series; I'm not particularly fond of Shadowside or Academy Y, but I do like how Shadowside expands the lore. In my opinion, Yo-Kai watch is more entertaining than Pokemon, and maybe I should play one of its games someday!

Anything Osamu Sato related

LSD Dream Emulator, Eastern Mind, Roly Polys, YOU NAME IT! The works of Osamu Sato are psychedelic and mesmerizing, and I've even listened to a lot of his albums back then.

And thank you for reading all of this stuff.

[controlaltdelete-my-existence]

List of ✨directorial decisions✨ HxH 1999 is insane for (hunter exam edition):

Episode 1:

- Baby Gon Baby Gon Baby Gon (and Konta)

- okay this is in-line with the manga but still: Mito hates Ging so much that she first lied about Gon’s parents dying in a car crash, then retracted that and told Gon to his face that Ging abandoned him, then admitted at the end of the episode that she forced Ging into a custody battle which. Is objectively the strangest scenario I can imagine.

Episode 2:

- Leorio stops Gon from getting kidnapped (by someone implied to be a child tr*fficker) in episode 2 like HWAT?

- Holy shit the knife he uses during the hunter exam is the same one he took from the kidnapper wow

- Also Gon then spends the rest of the episode following him around and being a Disney Princess so like. Good for him.

- Kurapika is just hanging around most of the episode giving off Main Character Vibes and nothing else.

Episode 3:

- 1999 Kurapika design is just *chef’s kiss*

- Seeing Kurapika now as opposed to Yorknew and Dark Continent hits me like a truck

Episode 4:

- Nothing much this episode except Kurapika adopting Gon and being so passive aggressive it’s funny

- Leorio threatening to beat up/kill an old women is… off putting

- They named the eavesdropper “Matthew” and made him even more of a douche.

Episode 5:

- I’m still confused about the needle mark lol. Like how did Leorio see it under all that fur? At least this version gives him more to do during the Kiriko escapade.

- Alright the fist bump between Kurapika and Leorio is cute

Episode 6:

- Killugon height difference my beloved

- KILLUA’S TINY SHORTS

- Gon asks Killua’s name and age first, when in the manga it was vice versa

- Hisoka having a high, playful voice as opposed to his usual moan-tone is strange to say the least

- Tonpa is even uglier than usual

Episode 7:

- Not only is 1999 pushing the gay agenda it is also pushing the Leorio agenda.

- Killua brought bombs to exam because why wouldn’t he

- “Kurapika would you stop looking at me like that”

Episode 8:

- *People getting brutally slaughtered by wildlife*

Kurapika: My goodness

- Hisoka’s first murder spree <3

Episode 9:

- One thing I do appreciate about the 1999 version is the additional focus on the side characters. Comedy like that between Hanzo and Pokkle during the Second Phase helps the world feel more alive and the characters more engaging.

- Hisoka catching fish.png

- Not Killua and Hisoka making the same dish 😭 Hisoka pouting by the river also deserves a mention

Episode 10:

- Gon is so nice like wow.

- I like Menchi! High-strung cooks are pretty normal from what I understand.

Episode 11:

- Tonpa continues to be an annoying dick, though he’s more useless than anything.

- Gon and Killua bonding!

- Killua is such a cocky little shit and Gon is polite even when making trouble and I love that for them

- The girl with a grudge against the Zoldycks is just. Laughable compared to what we know about them later. She’s lucky she ran into Killua out of the bunch.

Episode 12:

- Gon is straightforward and mischievous. Killua is calculating but cocky. It’s a great dynamic that evolves with the show.

- Idk if this is controversial or not but like,, Killua’s assassin mode is cool. Despite the history that comes with it. I like slightly unhinged!Killua a bit more even if soft!Killua is most people’s favorite.

- I love Gon’s hair physics in 1999. IMO It’s too tall in 2011 (most of the time) but 1999 has a nice balance of springyness and length.

- Killua’s character art is so good. I’m in love with the soft spikiness

- Ah yes, the Hunter exam. The time where Gon’s tendency to push himself to the absolute limit in order to demonstrate his worth as a person was just rearing its head and not as utterly self-destructive as it would later become.

- Not Kurapika throwing Leorio under the bus (Menchi) 💀✋

Episode 13:

- Trick Tower my beloathed. On one hand, character interactions and cute dynamics (Kurapika pushing Leorio). On the other, Tonpa and Leorio’s challenge with the prisoners.

- The expressions when Tonpa surrenders 😭

- “Gon is a sociopath” “Hisoka is a psychopath” incorrect and tired. TONPA is fucking crazy like Jesus Christ have you heard this guy monologue?

- Everytime I watch the manacles drop from the prisoner’s hands I always wonder how they avoid their toes being smushed

Episode 14:

- The candle trick challenge always cracks me up. Kurapika and Killua supporting Gon’s decision until they hear his reasoning 💀

- The sound effects they use for character movements KILLS ME. When Majitani cracks his knuckles it’s like a pile of rocks falling down. When he flexed it’s like rubber. I hate it sm even if I love everything else.

- The Scarlet Eyes in 1999 are the shit fr

- Cuarpickt’s ethics strike back

Episode 15:

- Leorio doing cool shit 😳

- “Kurapika, I’ve dealt with the consequences of your pride.” “Leorio…” PLEASE

- Hisoka and Illumi playing cards 😈

- Another shout-out for the little character interactions in 1999, I love them sm

Episode 16:

- Leorio doing uncool shit

- I don’t wanna talk about it

- I will say I like her design a lot better than 2011

- Killua taking the serial killer’s heart here is objectively cooler

Episode 17:

- I LOVE THE TRICK TOWER MONTAGE LMAO

- It’s amazing how much I want to fucking kill Tonpa. Exquisite feelings of hatred.

- Gon suggesting breaking through the wall is like. Defining character moment to me.

- RIP to Killua’s skateboard :(

- Kurapika’s fondness for Gon in this arc is so underrated

Episode 18, 19, & 20:

- YAS BEST FILLER ARC

- So many good character interactions. So many.

- ENGLAND IS CONFIRMED TO EXIST IN HXH?!!

- The ICONIC “what is going on in this hunter x hunter clip” response comment is from these episodes

- Illumi just indulges himself as Gittarackur huh

- The Kurta artifact :(

- LEOPIKA AGENDA IS REAL

- Gon and Killua put their beds together like a sleepover 😭

- Killua head pat Gon (also the ass smack in Heaven’s Arena… I think he’s just more physically affectionate in this version).

- Everyone working together really makes the next phase hit worse/better.

- My god even TONPA got something to do

- The music here was so good. Not that it usually isnt, but like wow

- LEOPIKA AGENDA IS STRONG WITH THIS ONE. Kurapika refuses to give the order to move despite everyone relying on him because he can’t bring himself to leave Leorio. Like holy shit the bait is real.

- POKKLE AND PONZU WERE SO GOOD 😭

- Captain Kurapika!

- Leorio and Gon take turns being unconscious and saving each other

- Not Killua lIterally SENSING Gon coming back up 😭

- Hisoka and Illumi stand around being useless for most of Phase 3.5 which is hilarious but ultimately save the day. I wonder if Illumi took his needles out as a teaser for manga readers or if he just. Couldn’t see well with them in.

Episode 21:

- Zevil Island time YIKES

- The second the announcement is made Hisoka already has murder in his eyes

- The sheer hatred between Leorio and Tonpa kills me

- Gon drew smiley faces on all of his practice dummies 😢

- He covered the hooks on the fishing rod so he wouldn’t hurt the birds 😭 I love him sm

- PLEASE HE HAS A LITTLE NIGHTLIGHT. I WANT TO ADOPT HIM SO BADLY

Episode 22:

- The only time the rubber skin sfx work for me is when Illumi is taking out his needles

- Alright I may get burned at the stake but I personally love the dub voices for everyone except Gon. Which is really sad, because if his voice sounded anything remotely similar to how it did in both 1999 and 2011 subbed (and maybe 2011 dubbed, though that’s a stretch) I would definitely watch 1999 dubbed all the way through.

- Illumi’s outfit and color scheme is kinda fire though.

Episode 23:

- Kurapika and Leorio fucking around on the forest floor

- Hisoka’s bloodlust run SENDS me

- Who else but Kurapika would negotiate with Hisoka on his own terms?

- The amazing soundtrack strikes again. I get chills when he begins to finally unsheathe his blades. Also Leorio pulling his out of his pocket like it’s gonna be a fucking knife fight lmao

- Hisoka practically creaming his pants while Gon is Right There is nothing new, but uh. This is first instance of it in the show so it deserves a mention.

- Bit of a rant here about Gon and HxH in relation to other shounen: https://bit.ly/3phcBB5

- I remember the Hisoka murder run being so terrifying as a kid 😭

- God Hisoka smiling at Gon after Gon took his badge is just so… eugh.

- Gon got the Leorio Uppercut Special. Talk about humiliating.

- Not the slurping noise when he licks the blood 🤢

Episode 24:

- Just an episode of Gon trying to recover after having his confidence broken. They didn’t shy away from the aftermath, which I’m grateful for. Really shows how much it damaged his pride and affected him. Gon has to think about why he came here, deal with homesickness amongst the most challenging days of his life, and somehow nurse himself back to health while barely being able to move.

- On another note: Baby Gon!

- Killua being adorable

- THE EXPRESSION ART ON HANZO LMAO

- Actually 1999 Hanzo is great I was so disappointed to see what he was in comparison in 2011

Episode 25:

- Gon’s absolute zero self-worth manifesting as a “I need to overcompensate when I’ve fucked up or else I’m worth nothing” rearing it’s head in the form of poisonous reptiles 💀

- Why tf Kurapika and Leorio always staring at each other like yeah Leopika agenda but also chill tf out

- I still wanna know how tf Gon carried three whole ass adults by himself. How does he do his strength training.

Episode 26:

- HAHA I LOVE THIS PART

- Expression art in 1999 is another level. The reactions when they think they’ve figured it out as a written exam are so fucking funny

- Kurapika’s theme is so nice. It’s kind of lonely, but also comforting.

- Kurapika and Gon’s conversation about Zevil Island is such a good moment that helps define their relationship

- Hanzo, Pokkle and Leorio “studying”

- Idiot trio asking HISOKA of all people for help

- Are you joking 😭 Not Leopika watching Killua and Gon play together my god the found family is real

Episode 27:

- Kurapika v Hisoka is great

- Horror-soka face strikes again. I know I praised the expressions but Yikes

- Leorio went from pleading with Kurapika to lose so he wouldn’t have to face Hisoka to not caring about that and just worrying endlessly the entire match. I love him

- I fuck w/ Kurapika

- Gon jumps into Leorio’s arms when Kurapika wins like holy shit that’s adorable (and then Leorio puts him on his shoulders like what a dad moment)

- Ok so interestingly, after Kurapika wins, he admits to Leorio that he should have surrendered. When Gon prepared to face Hanzo, he says, “I have to follow Kurapika’s lead and become the second to pass.” This can mean two things: one, he simply wants to pass, similarly to Kurapika. And/or it could also mean he’ll follow Kurapika’s lead by refusing to give up despite the danger, focusing on the goal of passing the exam. There are so many parallels between them GOD. At this point I just want them to call each other in the manga and just Talk (I know it won’t happen but still 😭)

Episode 28:

- At the beginning of the match, the proctors (namely Menchi) make it a point to talk about how outmatched Gon is, yet within a minute they’re all cheering for him and yelling at Hanzo for taking things too far.

- The sheer brutality of this version tops 2011 100%. I don’t think it’s controversial to say that 2011 sped through the Hunter Exam, which is unfortunate since a lot of impact was lost. This fight was hit particularly hard by that.

- The lighting, the choreography, the direction. All of it was phenomenal here.

- “If he keeps going, he’ll destroy himself,” said Cuararpickt, king of the hypocrites

- Kurapika and Leorio worrying about Gon 😭 Not to mention Killua going feral next to them

- Zevil Island really was a serious blow to his pride. Gon lets himself get beat to shit so his opponent will acknowledge him as worthy. He’s desperate to be ‘seen’. I love him sm but he’s genuinely unhinged (and it only gets worse). Fuck Ging, man.

- Kurapika says as much a second later oops

- HANZO IS ONLY 18???

- Gon is so fucking funny I love him. “Um no thank you I don’t want my legs chopped off. Can we keep brainstorming?”

- So when Hanzo asks, “Why won’t you give up?” Gon says, “I’m looking for my dad. And I feel like if I give up now, I’ll never see him again.” This isn’t ‘Ging will get so far ahead I’ll never catch up.’ This is ‘If I give up now, I’ll never be able to face myself or Ging.’ He reminds me of me when I was 12 :/

Episode 29:

- Killua’s face at Leorio and Kurapika 💀

- It’s an interesting decision for Togashi to do the rest of the battles in recap. I suppose it speeds things up.

- Gon sensed what had happened Killua right before Satotz said it, similarly to how Killua sensed Gon during the Treasure/Battleship phase. 1999 really like that kind of stuff haha

- The lighting, again, is fantastic. This time for Killua v Gittarackur (Illumi).

- The organ music is certainly… something

- Illumi’s color scheme here is better than the greens imo

- I forgot how hard Illumi projects onto/abuses Killua. Its difficult to watch.

- The animation on Killua’s face is incredible. You can see every micro expression as he tries to stand his ground :(

- Very nice visual effect here. Killua’s eyes are somewhat teal and rather dark in this version, as opposed to the bright blue of 2011. When Illumi defeats him, black bleeds onto the screen and Killua’s eyes are so dark they match Illumi.

- Hikari Ga Mienai plays when Killua kills Bodero :(

- Gon confronting Illumi is just short of cathartic.

Episode 31:

- THE LEGENDARY FALL OF 99

- The Hunter Exam after party looks kind of fun tbh

- Illumi when Hisoka catches him trying to kill Gon: ⚫️ 👄 ⚫️

- When they search the internet Togashi seems to imply that ‘cyberspace’ is coming from a human brain directly? Or is at least powered by one?

- Leorio: Gon wants his dad? We’ll find his dad *starts typing furiously*

- *Hisoka does something weird* *Illumi looks straight faced into the camera*

- LEOPIKA 1999 AGENDA IS REAL

- the final scene made me think of that radio drama where Leorio was like “yes Kurapika and I are like newlyweds and Gon is our child”. Unreasonably wholesome

END OF ARC

In conclusion stan the producers for clear skin

[bnhamixjuice-sfw]

ANON REQUEST: Hawks, Dabi and Aizawa: spot an ex he had a bad break up with, he sees her walking around struggling to hold on to a bag of groceries while pushing a stroller with a toddler in it that looks awful lot like them, and the he awkwardly confronts them when the bag falls out of her hands.

Tags: Manga Spoiler, Mention of cheating, Angst to Fluff.

Hawks

“I’m so sorry Dove, I didn’t mean to–”

“Didn’t mean what? to deny that I’m your girlfriend in front of the media ‘cause you had a job agreement with the commission not to reveal me! okay Keigo you’re doing this for what reason exactly? Hero Reputation? More women you can use to cheat behind my back again and expect me to forgive you? I–I don’t want this kind of life anymore!”, you wailed in pure anguish roughly wriggling your wrist away from his firm clutch.

He felt suffocated when he needed to let you go for all the things that he did to hurt you, holding back the urge to chase you outside when you frantically closed the door, not looking back anymore on him. Leaving the top pro hero falling on his knees, lonely between these four walls of his house.

After all this time he can’t forget you, longing to see your face everywhere he goes even on pro hero awarding events or his usual patrol work with Endeavor looking for you through the crowds, praying to see your smile again that he misses the most.

His life was crumbling apart without you, but luck was on his side today when he spotted you not too far from where he was signing autographs for his fans while stealing some glances. As always, you’re still beautiful standing there.

Trying to fix your grocery bags while clasping the baby-carriage’s handle. He hesitated at first to approach you thinking you’re probably waiting for your husband to pick you up and your child. And that’s when a tuft of yellow hair popped out.

“Mommy look it’s Hawks, Awtoglaph pweasee awtoglapph”, his excited pleas reached Hawks’ ears. pointing his fingers towards your ex-boyfriend who waved a hand on both of you.

Soon red feathers clumped together on the ground, preventing your bag to fall.

“Wow what do we have here, a kid full of energy today, so where do you want me to sign your autograph?”, stooping down beaming a smile with his eyes crinkling behind his yellow visor making your child gasp in awe.

He knew instantly that his suspicion was right seemingly looking at his own reflection with those golden honey orbs and black lines on those eyelids and small bump protruding behind the kid’s shirt, red feathers similar to his, messily cramped inside.

“Ke–Hawks here… ”, almost calling out his first name when you handed him a notebook and a pen.

Slightly feeling his gloved hand against your palm.

“Hawks look I hab wings too–”

“Honey we need to go home now or else you’ll miss your favorite show again, now say bye bye to Mr. Hawks”, you interrupted, sneaking a warning glare on him not to tell him anything before gently freeing your child’s wings out from his shirt’s makeshift holes.

“Little fledgling I guess your wings were moulting, so did your Daddy tell you about it”

“Hab no Dawdy but Oh you see… Mommy Lov’ Dawdy so much that she booboo cries” you were shock-stricken softly hushing your child out of embarassment.

“Well kid make sure to tell your Mommy not to cry okay cause Daddy loves her so much, yes don’t forget to tell that to her every day I–”, he stammered with his voice started cracking, overwhelming him with emotions too easily, swallowing the lump forming on his throat.

“Your father loves you too kid trust me, and surely there’s not a single day he’s not thinking of your Mommy, his only Dove–Ah I think I’m taking too much of your time Miss I-I’m so sorry”, halting it immediately, muffling a few sniffles before finally signing his signature.

Your heart began thumping so loud, not expecting him shamelessly grabbing your hand, burying you into a warm embrace in public.

“Wait Keigo stop this, everyone’s taking so many pictures of you”

“No I don’t care anymore, listen Dove I’m so sorry and I still love you, come back to me please I promise I won’t hurt you again, I’ll do better this time just let me make up for it, and for our son”

You can’t blame yourself for giving in, accepting him wholeheartedly knowing this is what you promised to him once.

To never let your future child experience the same heartache he suffered from his past.

Dabi

He regret those cruel words that came out from his mouth the first time he was too fed up of your constant admonishment of putting a rest on his revenge against his family forever since you cannot bear to see him exhausting his body anymore, starting this heated discourse again between you.

“You always bring this up y/n every single day and it’s too annoying already, why are you siding on Enji too much Babydoll… come on just say it you really want us to have a perfect family, so cool to have a child with this debilitating quirk too right?”

Sucking your inner lips anxiously avoiding to tell him something about that last one, you felt his grip on your sholders constricting furiously waiting for you to answer him back, but your tears spilling from those precious eyes made his stomach churn in guilt realizing what he had done when you began screaming on his face that everything’s over, shoving him away and locking the door of your house shut.

He knew how much of a dick he was, the worst break up that’s been haunting him everyday with your terrified face forever etched on his mind

It’s been a long time since the last time he saw you after you moved from your old house and he cannot find you everywhere until today.

He saw you pushing a stroller on the side of the road and having a hard time balancing the bag of groceries on your other hand.

Perhaps you found someone better than him and additionally having a child; a normal child considering he’s not the father. that’s what he thought until something caught his attention.

Squinting his eyes, he was slack-jawed to find a familiar cerulean orbs and red hair on that young boy giddily calling you Mommy.

He took this rare chance of talking to you again by catching your bag of groceries that you clumsily dropped, your eyes met recognizing your ex-boyfriend instantly when he removed his mask. piercing eyes gazing down below observing your child’s similar features.

“Babydoll why didn’t you tell me about him, our son?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Dabi and refrain from calling me that nickname anymore, also stay away from MY son before I call the police”

You breathed heavily snatching back your grocery bag from his grasp, clutching the stroller’s handle in pure anger.

“Daddy you meanie, go home”, tugging his pants with those tiny hands.

It hurts you to see your own child begging for his father to go home, when you can’t even tell him how you often show his own picture to your child that’s why he recognized his own father easily, keeping him close to his heart and memory forever.

You can’t hate your only child’s father.

He was expecting him to cry on his intimidating face when he bent his knees down to look at his child closely, ignoring your earlier threat by patting his son’s head seemingly accepting this foreign fatherly instinct.

“Kid look I’m obviously a bad guy, I don’t want you to get in trouble so maybe next time when your Mommy allows me, don’t worry I’ll probably see you again next time pepperoni haired kid”, chuckling when he saw his son’s childish pout, letting him pinch his stapled cheeks annoyed at his nickname.

“Y/n this is goodbye then”, flashing you that thin smile noticing his lips quivering a bit as he stood.

Shoving both of his hands inside his pockets before turning around to walk slowly away from both of you ignoring your child’s tantrum cries calling for him to go back.

“Ssh… sweetie don’t cry okay–Wait Touya!”

He stopped on his tracks when you yelled his real name again, like how you used to call him that before out of endearment.

“We’re going to stay here from now on so same address, the usual okay knock thrice and use our anniversary day on pressing the doorbell and don’t forget our password, listen I’m doing this for our child only so you better show up tonight or I won’t ever give you a chance”

He disappeared quickly after that, and tonight he never failed to show up incessantly ringing the doorbell many times even greeting you that typical password; a kiss.

A yearning kiss, hands intertwining the moment you opened your heart once again.

Aizawa

“Shouta you keep missing my calls these past few weeks when I needed you the most, you barely have enough time to visit me when I was sick the whole week and now you’re late, fine I don’t wanna hear your excuses anymore”

Those bitter words pierced him like thorns, seeing you slip out that engagement ring from your finger and placing it on a table whispering those bitter words he doesn’t want to hear from you.

“It’s better if we end this relationship now before we regret something, I–I can’t imagine my future being married with you or even having a child with you who pathetically seek for time and attention from his workaholic father, sorry Shouta”, you covered your mouth trying to bite back your tongue from spilling about your unborn child.

Running outside the restaurant leaving him heartbroken that he can’t further speak out his words anymore because everything that you just told him was painfully true.

He doesn’t deserve you, blaming himself for not appreciating you enough despite of your effort of enduring the hardships of having a pro hero fiance who often risk his life for his students. A man who can’t even spend a time to take care of you.

Nevertheless, he wanted to mend back those strings that binds you to his heart, always pouring out his loneliness on visiting that Cat Cafe on his day off every week reminding him of memories you two share.

You often take him there to spend a date knowing he’s fond of cats and snapping lots of photos of him every time he ends up sleeping on the corner with cats huddling close to his face nearly suffocating him.

Keeping your engagement ring to him all the time was the only thing that calms him down whenever he’s in dire situation on his job, thinking how much he wish to meet you here again.

Unbelievably seeing you again one time, rubbing his weary eyes once and twice to know if it’s truly you. Indeed, he can’t forget that familiar caring smile of his beloved, finding you outside the cat cafe currently having a problem of organizing your bag of groceries.

“Mawmmy, neko pweasee I wanna touch it!”, your daughter began whinning clapping his hands to get your attention.

He can’t believe his own eyes when your child resembles him too much with that obsidian dull eyes and sleek black hair minus for that pigtail hairstyle but that scowl seems a carbon copy of his own.

“Wait Baby I–”

“I think you need help Y/n”

You were flabbergasted to find your ex-fiance taking a hold of your bag of groceries with his whip that was about to hit the ground and voluntarily offering his Neko tote bag for you which you persuaded him not to.

“Mawmmy pwease I want that too, Neko”, her tiny hands reaching out determined to get it no matter what.

“Baby no–”

“Well your daughter love cats so much, you can give this to her, please just a friendly gift”, taking out something from his pocket leaning down a bit to his side to rummage on that keychain, letting you see his necklace around his neck with that old engagement ring of yours dangling.

“Found it, here kid I’m not sure if you’ll like this”

“Aww Mawmmy have that too um…right Mawmmy, so no thanks Mister”

There’s no way you were married that’s what Shouta suspected when he saw you not wearing any ring, and obviously that cat keychain was closely similar to his anniversary keychain that you two bought for each other.

“Y/n I can drive you two back to your house if its okay–”

“Mawmmy please say yes”

You sighed in defeat not having a choice in the first place and also giving freedom to your child to spend time with her father who doesn’t know about this.

His car was still the same, sitting beside him and your child now sleeping behind after getting so tired ogling on his car’s cat accesories.

You chuckled upon seeing your daughter’s face on the mirror messily drooling, leaning slightly on your side to wipe the corner of her mouth.

“Darling is she our daughter”

“Eyes on the road Shouta, and yes so what will you do about it. Do you expect me to ask for any financial support from you oh maybe spending your precious time for our daughter that I can’t even get from you years ago”, you sarcastically uttered, stabbing him rudely with those truthful words he was unprepared to hear from you.

“I understand if you’re still mad at me y/n, but I just want you to let you know that I want to set things right first before asking you to forgive me. Because I don’t want to miss this opportunity again to tell you how much I wanted to talk to you or maybe to see you in your white wedding dress”

You can’t resist how determined he was to get close to you again, feeling his hand slowly making its way on you.

Giving back that engagement ring to whom it truly belongs, and that was you, a dream he wanted to come true despite it being too impossible.

Turning your head away to wipe your own tears, proposing for the second time that you have been waiting to hear from him all along.

“She’s your daughter Shouta and don’t you dare make her cry of I’ll scratch your face harder than what your cat does”

“That’s too kind of you, I mean my cat misses your deadly belly rub too, you named him Mr. Pickles right, well I’m sure he’d be thrilled to see his Mom again and his new sibling soon”,

You both exchanged soft giggling catching up on one another by starting the conversation about your lives and so on and so forth, and apparently your child was eavesdropping on both of you.

Your daughter muffled a “Pro hero mission success” after accomplishing her goal, peeking a bit to see you wearing that shiny ring.

She knew it the first time she saw that stranger recognizing him from one of the picture you often place under your pillow, her daddy.

Well she did inherit Shouta’s intellectual skills after all.

Do not repost this fic/headcanon.

Disclaimer: I don't own My hero academia nor its characters and plot.

[rens-room]

kuroko no basket thoughts: 

season 1 (2 and 3 under the cut) 

pick one name for this show please. and no it can’t be “the basketball which kuroko plays” bc that’s way too long. 

it’s comfort show time! (I’m gonna get hate but I enjoy knb more than haikyuu-I’m only explaining that if asked). 

these kids are so extra lol. 

“ball is life”

I did learn almost everything I know about sports from sports anime and thats kinda helpful. 

do you ever go up to someone you just met and make them outrageous promises and also declare yourself their partner? no? just kuroko things. 

poor kise gets treated like an attack dog bc he can mimic attacks and he really doesn’t deserve that. 

it’s funny bc the whole show is about middle school trauma (and drama) which is...pretty accurate. 

also underneath all the absurd powers/abilities the narrative is really sweet and the story itself is about friendship. the super extra abilities and visuals are just to draw you in and add another layer because anime/manga is a visual storytelling medium. 

gotta love how kuroko just does risky things and then his tall friends come to back him up. 

he promised kagami a partnership for basketball but kagami is really acting as his bodyguard to keep kuroko safe so they can actually play basketball. 

does mitobe ever...speak? 

midorima and midoriya are green and lucky. (no really, I refer to midoriya as deku to avoid mental confusion between the characters). 

is midorima’s way of shooting threes even...possible/practical? (I’m sure this has been answered before but please send me links if it has). 

it’s the color coordinated flip phones for me.

you know it’s 2000s- 2010s anime when they start bringing out the colored flip phones. 

midorima is that bitch with everyones star chart memorized and you best believe he knows everyones lucky items too. 

despite being some of the more basic character designs, I really like takao, izuki, and imayoshi. 

hyuga is great. of course his personality is a little warped after having to destroy his figurines. 

on that note aida is a sadist which is also great. 

tbh all of the miracles are treated like tools by their highschool teams and thats 1 rude, 2 kinda fucked up, and 3 the reason they’re all stuck up assholes with god complexes. 

the FUCKING TENSION at the tables when kise, midorima, kagami, and kuroko are at the restaurant together. (also takao leaving midorima there like the chaos agent he is, *chefs kiss*).

the flying food that just so happens to land on midorima’s head for me. (good job takao!)

SAKURAIIIIIIIII my favorite apologetic mushroom!! I love him.

they really called him “mushroom #9” ahhhhh. 

honey lemons...no not like that. 

so theres the “defeat my evil ex teammates” angle or the “defeat my evil exes” angle and both are correct. 

its the ken burns-esque montages for me. 

ah I forgot about kaijo’s rebound bitch. he’s loud. 

imayoshi is such a snake. I love him.

kaijo got the best deal on a miracle. aomine is Difficult to work with, midorima is crazy, murasakibara doesn’t even like the sport, and akashi is Crazy™. kise is objectively the most normal and easiest to have on a team. plus he (debatably) has the best ability: perfect copy.

season 2

ah yes get ready for himura tatsuya and Cringe english.

also tepei you literally broke the “first years only” rule you helped create.

when murasakibara is on screen: attack on titan theme intensifies.

I think I like the visuals for the first op of season 2 (3rd overall op) the most. (it may be my overall favorite op). 

murasakibara YOU CANT JUST RIP OFF SOMEONES EYEBROW!

vanishing drive here we come!

the real question is how himuro played street ball in jeans.

for midorima size does matter lol. 

blond hyuga is always funny.  

izuki being called cutie by the coaches dad lol. 

ah the required hot springs fanservice episode.  

being out of highschool now (I’m rewatching knb) the Kirisaki Daiichi High match is more painful. hanamiya is too cruel to ruin people’s lives like that. 

the best scene is in episode 38. it involves scissors. 

akashi literally owns all of them. he’s not your “former” captian if you still come when called. 

akashi you can’t just stab people. 

also your bangs look terrible akashi. 

forget midorima’s shots, how TF does aomine do this!! are they possible? or would making them irl be more luck than skill? 

midorima looks like a carrot in his uniform with the orange and green. 

the best part of this is the matches are pretty short all things considered like theres two 6 episode matches and the final is like 9 but most are resolved kn less than five.

as a short person™, murasakibara personally offends me.  

phantom shot is so hype. 

I love how they name attacks like in shonen. it’s really cute. 

why’s my favorite character type either pretty boy: himuro and takao or psychopath: akashi??

it should be illegal to not only break the basket but also single handedly lift up another human. 

is kise allowed to talk to kagami and murasakibara during the yosen match? what was he doing so close to the court?

I’ve always thought hyuga, riko, and teppei gave off poly relationship vibes. they all look at each other/interact in the same way.

kagami as a point guard actually made me laugh out loud. it’s so out of character for him and it surprised yosen.

I love the end cards with the characters at the end of every episode.

crunchyroll has given me so many quest protein bar ads. is it because I’m watching sports anime?

himuro’s fakeouts give me death note “I know that you know that I know” vibes.

is the montage music the same as an op? if so which one?

season 3

I SHARE A BIRTHDAY WITH A KNB CHARACTER! 

it’s fun that seirin comes full circle and plays kaijo basically last in the winter cup as they were the first team they scrimmaged in the series.  

the pacing and balance of the show is one of the best parts. its complete and flows well . 

the black wristband is so subtle, yet it’s been there since the beginning, such good foreshadowing. I honestly only noticed because I’m rewatching. 

the nostalgia of the opening narration about the generation of miracles. yes it will get tiring like the first one, but I enjoy the throwback/reference. 

one of the show’s strong points is the ability to circle back to things. combined with the steady pacing and overall balance between matches, training arcs, and fun excursions, knb is one of the most well rounded and complete feeling anime I have seen. 

1 I forgot about haizaki, 2 he looked better with his middle school hairstyle, 3 he and hanamiya would get along like a house on fire. 

the transition in the opening narration of the miracles from teiko to their current team’s uniform is so smooth and visually pleasing. especially akashi’s because you can see his eye change color. 

the fireworks in the opening are kinda random but they are fun. 

so I really loved bungou stray dogs op trash candy and it got me into granrodeo. I also remember liking (and still like) the music in knb. imagine my surprise when I found out granrodeo is responsible for like half the music in knb. 

there’s so many grudge matches lol. 

season three, the season of backstory and flashbacks. 

aomine to haizaki: the only one who can mess with my friends is me.

ah the not so subtle introduction of rakuzan. 

akashi has cat eyes. he literally is a cat. 

ok but during the shutoku match when akashi ankle breaks two guys at once and then literally dribbles the ball over one of their heads. power move. 

takao and midorima’s threes in the rakuzan match remind me of hinata and kageyama’s Freak-Quick attack. 

I love mibuchi. so much. and hayama. so rakuzan might be my favorite team after seirin...

akashi is short. and a bit of a psychopath, but mostly short. 

the bokushi/oreshi thing is a lot more obvious to see (hear) in a rewatch of the show. 

SHAKE MIDORIMA’s FUCKING HAND AKASHI! 

midorima doesn’t bow low, kinda like another tall, (standoffish) glasses-wearing character- tsukishima. 

“declaration of war” “return the favor” kise is such a dynamic character and I like him for that. 

isn’t kise a little too op? 

awww I forgot furihata plays in the kaijo game. 

kasamatsu is actually really cool. 

it’s a shame that every new technique kuroko comes up with is defeated so quickly.  

the TEIKO DAYS OP OMG I’M GONNA CRY!! THEY’RE SO SMALL AND CUTE AND INNOCENT AHHHHHHH! (episode 63) 

knb is about fixing friendships/repairing relationships and I think that’s really sweet. 

the similarities between aomine and kagami meeting kuroko are so good (and painful). 

kuroko just really loves and cares about his friends. which is really nice to see. 

the height difference between nijimura and akashi at teiko. 

kuroko really said: my life was kinda a disaster, and then akashi happened and I picked up a misdirection book, and then it really turned into a disaster. 

onigiri oops I mean Ogiwara-kun! 

the miracles are sooooooo cute in middle school! they’re tiny and look so young and not traumatized. 

underrated part of the teiko flashbacks is seeing whatever ridiculous item midorima is carrying around. 

true talent is throwing a box of snacks like a basket ball and successfully hitting a moving target in the face. 

me confusing personality types with Japanese blood type stereotypes: theres no way midorima is type B, he should be type A. me after reading what Japanese blood type stereotypes are: ah never mind midorima is selfish and uncooperative. 

knb is also about unlearning behaviors/thought patterns to be a better person. and making fucking friends. 

watching the miracles fall apart is not easier the second time, if anything it hurts more because you know it’s coming and there’s nothing you can do.  

teiko was so toxic! like on every level the ideology of the school caused harm to literal children. 

akashi does have a wholeass suit of armor in the dining room wtf. 

there’s also of course the competing victory philosophies explored in the show not to mention the sport elements that are outside my immediate range of knowledge. 

look at what you did, teiko: you fucked up a perfectly good group of kids, now they have god complexes. 

so not only is Tsuchida’s girlfriend really pretty, but she’s also smooth af! way to make your s/o feel good about not being a starter! 

the love I feel for mitobe, he’s honestly so great. he’s tall, quiet, and can cook. 

of course rakuzan get’s their own op, they’re the final battle. 

HAHAHAHA HOW DOES IT FEEL TO GET REPLACED?! (jk I love mayuzumi) but really making a kuroko 2.0 and debuting him during finals is cruel. 

is mibuchi’s earth shot like allowed? is it ok to intentionally foul the opponent to get a free throw? or am I just overthinking this?

nebuya you don’t have to add “muscles” to all your move names. in fact please don’t. 

YOU CAN’T DUNK YOU’RE ONLY 5′8″!! (not fair!) 

hyuga gets stuck in his own head a lot. 

only akashi would know how to manipulate the human body into kneeling. 

rip mayuzumi. he gets used by everyone. his team, akashi, and kuroko. I would not be able to go back on the court knowing that I’m just a tool. 

I honestly forget about the zone every time I watch knb. I could probably live without it. the flashy moves on the court were enough for me. 

he’s baaaaacckkkk!!!

I like that while a winner was established, all the teams were still motivated for the future. 

was anyone going to tell me nijimura and akashi switched jersey numbers at teiko when akashi took over as captain?? or was I just supposed to piece that together myself?

the extra episode for kuroko’s birthday is so cute! 

midorima calling takao because his luck is bad and he saw a black cat is too funny. 

it’s ok kuroko! for one day out of the year people remember you!

takao the delivery man: he specializes in special items for cancers and the occasional human named midorima shintaro (or himuro tatsuya lol). 

furihata really has the worst luck lol. he opens the door and it’s akashi. 

(last game is dead to me)

[vexelier-suix-cipher]

"Could you do Teruteru, Hifumi, and Ryoma getting drugged by a love potion and falls (even harder) for the reader (who has already fallen for them)?"

100% I can!! :D

Warnings: Mentions of love drug/potion, slight obsession(?), and swearing.

===

Hifumi Yamada

•Proceeds to rant about how amazing Hifumi is

•Fanfic boy loves you very much!! (Though he did his best to hide it)

•It felt like when a cat loved it owner. Celeste went out the window. This man would get on his hands and knees for you. 🙇🏽‍♂️

•You also loved him very much!! (Literally Taka had to keep Mondo from lunging at you two and screaming "JUST DATE ALREADY!!")

•Oh but what's this? A drink on his desk after a hard day of drawing and writing manga?

•Well of course he drank it!! He chugged that drink and felt quite satisfied after.

•And back to work he goes :›

•He had some music on and his script for his next manga, scribbling out the sketches for his newest manga when he felt the sudden urge to go see you.

•It was nothing too new. Could've been he just wanted to show you the script for his manga!! A beta read!

•So Hifumi happily found you and sat you down, showing you the script for his manga!

•He felt a bit- different.

•He felt like he needed to have you in his arms.

•He needed you closer.

•He needed- you.

•The even more clingy behavior continued for a few days.

•Though you didn't mind, you did find it a bit strange.

•Why was he so clingy?

•You already read this script-

•And read that one too-

•Didnt he have things to do?

•He was going to fall behind in his schedule if he continued like this!!

•So when you saw him walking over to you once again, you pulled him to the side and questioned him.

"Hifumi, you've been acting kinda strange these past few days. Are you okay? Don't get me wrong, I love having you by my side but you're going to fall behind in your schedule."

"Well...I don't really know how to explain it. I feel like I've got to be with you all the time!! A-And I'm getting work done!!"

•He huffed and whined for a while longer as you continued asking him things before he got frustrated with himself and finally blurted it out

"Fine!! Fine. I like you, okay? I have for a while a-and I just didn't know how to tell you-...I found this drink on my desk one day and now that I think about it, it could've been one of those love potions that I've been hearing about...could've made my feelings stronger.."

•He started muttering towards the end but you could understand the gist of it.

•You reassured him it was fine and that you accepted his feelings.

•Which was returned with a loud,

"HUH?!? YOU DO?! WHEN- HOW-"

•*Once again has to calm fanfic boy down*

•After calming him down (again) you went over your own feelings.

•He had the brightest smile on his face I swear

•He just couldn't hold back!

•So he picked you up and held you close, hugging you sweetly

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!"

===

Teruteru Hanamura

•AGGRESSIVELY RANTS ABOUT HOW AMAZING HE IS

•Love Potion exists?

•He probably bought it.

•This boy is already so head over heels for you it's absolutely adorable.

•He 100% cooks for you.

•Breakfast? In bed.

•Lunch? Made your favorite food.

•Dinner? You can eat with him! :D

•And his food is just 😩 to die for

•He does his best to tone down the sexual comments a bit, though he can't help if one or two slip out!

•Compliments you every 5 minutes no lie.

•Though he does turn cherry red if you compliment him

•If you allow petnames, he WILL call you darlin' and sugar the most.

•Now for the fun part

•He was most likey cooking and was working with the oven.

•Ovens hot. His clothes are pretty hot.

•So he stripped got something to drink out the fridge

•He blindly took a glass out the fridge and drank it.

•Drank the damn love potion-

•He knew he accidentally drank it. He read the label he had put on the glass right after he drank it.

•Unlike Hifumi, he tried staying away from you

•Poor boy doesn't know how to show such strong feelings :(

•He still does cook for you though

•And leaves you little snacks

•Did yelp when you came into the kitchen once without him knowing (it's true I was the dust on the oven window)

•Alot more fiddly and nervous when he has to go ask you something

•His gaze is towards the floor and he's playing with the ends of his scarf as that adorable accent decorates his speech

•Hes so nervous oh poor baby

•You found him scurrying everywhere once trying to find his hat when you had to point out it was on his head-

•He was so embarrassed-

•He apologized and walked back towards the kitchen

•He cooks his feelings away

•That is alot of food-

•Once he disappeared into the kitchen you went after him

•You had been wondering why he ran away from you every time you saw him

•You were worried :(

•As he went back into the kitchen, he paused hearing someone else's footsteps.

•He turned around and jumped slightly when he saw you

•Begin the anxious southern rambling and questions.

"O-Oh! S/o! What brings you to the...the kitchen??"

"Teru, what's going on? You keep ignoring me."

"W-Well I don' mean to cher' I-Its just I' been kinda stressed lately a-an' I don' wanna bother you with tha'-"

•Oh sweet boy almost cried just talking to you

•He wanted to confess so badly!!

•He just wanted to hug you and bury his face into your neck!!

•But he was so scared :(

•After a good talk, the confession just slipped out of him mid-sentence

"I already apologized cher'..."

"C'mon Teru, what's been REALLY happening with you?"

"W-Well...the truth is I accidentally drank a love potion and since I love you so damn much it strengthened my feelings...I-I didn't wanna make you uncomfortable so I stayed away in case I-"

"Did you just say you love me?"

"I-I did..?"

•Oh certainly he did. And when he realized, he apologized 10x more.

•You had to shut him up by squishing his face

•After a good explanation about you loving him too, he clung onto you with a laugh.

•He sat in your lap (and after some consent) kissed your face all over, muttering a soft 'I love you' after each kiss

•You two sat together like that for quite a bit, just laying in each other's presence

"Thank you so much....you don't know how much that means to me...how much YOU mean to me..."

===

Ryoma Hoshi

•Ah yes. Tiny, edgy, ex-tennis, cat loving, deep voiced boy

•Where do I start?

•Lets start with

•He's absolute shit at feelings.

•Like really.

•He refused to believe he fell for you.

•His heart was racing? No it wasn't. It's probably because he was out of breath.

•He's flustered and blushing? Kinda hot in the room y'know.

•You get the point.

•He hates the fact he fell for you. He doesn't know what to do.

•He lost almost everyone he ever loved before. Why would this be any different? He didn't want to put you in danger.

•Ryoma hanged around with you though. He was a bit quiet but he went basically everywhere you went

•No one really messed with you when little man was with you.

•This was okay. He could hide his feelings. You wouldn't be in danger and he wouldn't ruin his relationship with you.

•Then the world announced a love potion was now available!!

•Ah shit.

•That damn Kokichi.

•All he wanted was some water and that little panta-loving gremlin switched it out with the new potion.

•He had already chugged around half the bottle before he realized it wasn't his juice.

•Ryoma would've just left it at 'Oh I just poured the wrong drink in' if it wasn't for Kokichi coming up to him about an hour later.

"Nishishishi....how's the love potion working Ryoma?"

"The what."

"Oops~"

"You little-"

•Kokichi went to the nurse with a bump on his head from Ryoma hitting him with a tennis ball.

•You thought Teruteru hiding away was bad?

•Ryoma refused to leave his dorm.

•He came out at around lunch time to get food, go to the bathroom, and then back to his dorm.

•No one was allowed in.

•He could feel the effects of the potion working.

•He wanted to get out and cling to you so badly. It almost physically hurt

•Fucking hell-

•Him. Ryoma Hoshi. The guy who basically gave up on life, wanted to run into your arms like a little kid.

•He almost cried.

•Of course you were worried!! He locked himself in his dorm without warning!!

•And he refused to talk to you!!

•You came to his dorm door almost daily, trying to pry open the damn door.

•With no avail.

•Goddammit.

•It wasn't until a few weeks later which he made a plan.

•He'd confess and leave right after.

•If you said no, that would be the end of it.

•If you said yes, ...well he didn't really plan that far.

=

•Ryoma met up with you at the back of the building, looking down at the ground as he heard your footsteps.

•It took a minute of small talk before he started speaking

"Listen, Kokichi switched my drink out a few weeks ago for that new love potion they're selling. I already had really strong feelings for you but with the potion they increased. I know you probably don't feel the same way but I wanted to tell you because it was starting to get too out of hand for me."

•He rambled on a little about how you would never like him and that he apologized for having such feelings and-

•You yanked his beanie down to his face, letting out a small huff.

"Ryoma Hoshi you have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to confess. You're an amazing guy Ryoma, and I really do wish you confessed sooner since I feel the same way. Now shut it with all the sad shit and come here."

•You told him, tugging him closer by the sleeve as you engulfed him in your arms

•Ryoma felt like his face was on fire. Butterflies in his stomach and a giddy, tingly feeling throughout his body

•He let out a low chuckle, hugging you back and sighing softly

•This was nice. He felt....loved.

•He liked this feeling quite a bit....he had missed this feeling quite a bit.

"Maybe I should've confessed sooner."

===

AHHHHHHHH I HOPE YOU LIKED IT-

I absolutely adore these three.

If you want me to add or fix anything just say the word!!

I had a great time writing this!!

Thanks for requesting!!!

-Vex ∆

[poppywrites41]

Why? Eren x Reader

Pairing: Eren Jeager x Fem! Reader

Summary: Y/N and Eren had always been close friends since childhood. Both of their parents had been lost when they were younger and they both joined the survey corps with their friends Mikasa and Armin. Y/N and Eren began to realize feelings for each other after the first time they went to the beach. Eren couldn’t keep his eyes off of her as she was playing in the water with her best friend, Sasha. Ever since then, they two would always look after each other and take comfort in each others arms. However, after their first trip to Marley with Yelena, after developing the plan with Zeke, she noticed Eren has been acting different…

Warnings: NSWF, Cursing, mentions of death, SMUT

CONTAINS SPOILERS FROM MANGA. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE SPOILED. This is a pretty long one. It goes along with the manga but I added my own twist.😊 There will be some time-skips bc I can’t write that much LMAO

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“Meeting dismissed. Everyone pack your stuff and head to the ship. We will depart to Marley in 2 hours.” Hange said to the new Levi squad and Yelena’s crew.

Y/N was still in disbelief that they would be taking the fight to Marley, to innocent civilians. She knew that they needed to retrieve Zeke, but she wasn’t too keen on Eren destroying anything. She thinks it would make things worse. Eren on the other hand, was rearing to go. He had a devilish look to his eyes when he stated that he would transform during the ceremony. Y/N almost didn’t recognize the person in front of her. She needed to talk to him before they leave. 

“Eren?” Y/N knocked on his door. 

“Come in”

Y/N opened to door to see Eren putting on Marleyian soldier clothes. She hadn’t realized how much he physically changed until now. He was taller and well built. His hair grew out and he started to grow a stubble. His eyes. His beautiful green eyes seemed to have lost their sparkle that was there when they were younger.

“Did you have something to tell me or are you just going to stand there like a mute?” his monotonous gruff voice brought her out of her thoughts. 

“Sorry,” she mumbled and she played with her sleeves, “I wanted to talk to you about the plan.”

Eren looked at her with his piercing eyes, “You don’t agree with the plan?”

Y/N gulped and shifted on her feet, eyes looking at the floor, “It’s not that I don’t agree with the plan. The plan is to retrieve Zeke, Eren. Do you have to kill civilians in the process? What if they fight back? What if someone we love dies?”

Eren sighed, “Y/N, if you have any doubts, I suggest you leave immediately. We cannot have weak soldiers there to mess things up.”

Y/N’s head snapped up to meet his eyes, her own eyes brimming with tears. 

“Eren...you don’t mean tha-”

“I am going to attack when they declare war on us Y/N. That is final. We need to send a message to them. Yelena came up with a plan to lure their titans away and so do I. The soldiers here are well equipped to handle anything so I doubt anyone will die. If they do, they were being careless.”

Y/N stared into his eyes to look for any sort of emotion, but saw nothing. She was scared, she was trembling. “Eren I-”

“You need to stay.”

“What?”

Eren took a few steps to Y/N and caressed her cheek in his palm looking down into her big e/c eyes. “You need to stay. I fear you will get hurt and I cannot have you getting hurt.”

She looks up at him in disbelief. “No Eren, I can do it. Let me come wi-”

“I CAN’T LOSE YOU!” he yells and brings her into a bone crushing hug.

“Eren…” Y/N breaths as she rubs his back, “It’s okay. I-”

“Please stay here...please. I promise I will come back. I need you here. I need you safe.”

“Why? Eren, I can help!”

“You will be helping! If you stay here, it will help me get home faster! I also need someone here to make sure everyone is safe. Please?” Eren looks into her eyes and her see tears. His eyes are full of sadness and fear and it hurt her. She took his head in her hands and wiped his tears.

“Okay,” She say with a sad smile, “I will stay.”

Eren gives a small smile and leans in to place his lips on hers. It has been a while since they have kissed mainly since everyone was busy planning and training. Y/N and Eren haven’t had much time to themselves. Eren leans back and looks at the clock, “We still have some time left before I leave…”

Y/N smirks, “Let’s make the most of it, Jaeger.”

Eren picks her up and lays her on his bed, smothering her neck and collarbone with kisses and love bites. Y/N slides her hands under his shirt, feeling his toned abs and back.

Eren steals her lips as he slowly unbuttons her shirt and caresses her smooth skin.

“I love you.” Y/N says out of breath pulling her hands through his dark hair.

“Yes I know” Eren says. He loves it when she does that to his hair. It relaxes him.

Once her shirt is off, he trails kisses down her bra and begins to suck at the top of her breasts.

“Ah! Eren…” Y/N breaths, tugging at his hair.

He chuckled and reached behind her to unclasp her bra, freeing her beautiful mounds. His hand immediately goes for her right breast, kneading it slowly as he spread kisses on her left. His mouth latched onto her nipple and began to suck. Y/N moaned and writhed on the bed, panting.

“Eren...please…”

Eren used his left hand to travel down to her pants. He unbuttoned them and began to pull them down, leaving her in her black lace underwear. He marvels at the sight before him.

“I’m glad you wore this pair. They’re my favorite.” He smirks and slids his hand underneath to her core, feeling her arousal.

“You’re so wet,” he says, easily sliding his two finger, earning a moan from the woman underneath him, “so perfect.”

“Ngh...Erennnn…” Y/N begins to writhe in pleasure as he begins to quickly slide his fingers in and out of her. Her hips bucking into his palm.

“You’re close? Already?” He asks in disbelief.

“W-We haven’t done a-anything in a while. Ah!” Y/N pants, hands gripping to his shirt.

Eren gives a small smile when she begins to tighten around his fingers. She’s close. He goes faster and listens to her moans and pants.

“E-Eren!! I’m-”

“Cum.” he says in a low voice.

Y/N felt her whole world shake as she felt her body spasm, giving out a long moan. Her whole body shaking. Eren chuckled and gave her a kiss as she slid her underwear down and unbuckled his pants. He had to leave soon so he only pulled them down a bit to free his cock. He gathered her wetness from her orgasm and spread it over his cock. Y/N watched him through lidded eyes, anticipating the feeling of having him inside her.

“Eren,” she whined, “now.”

“Yes, darling.” Eren chuckled and lined himself up to her entrance. He took her in his embrace and pushed himself him, wrapping his arms around her.

“A-Ahhhh Erennn” Y/N whimpered, wrapping her arms around him tightly. Her walls were stretching all over again. Eren gave her a minute to adjust since they haven’t been together like this in a while and began to rock his hips into her gently, relishing in her moans, memorizing everything about her.

“Fuck Y/N…” Eren breathes, “you’re so fucking tight…”

All Y/N can do is moan in pleasure, too out of it to talk. Eren then sits them up and has her bouncing on his cock in his lap. The new position allowed him to go deeper, earning louder moans from the woman. She wrapped her arms around him tightly, not wanting to let go.

Eren was close. He hated that he was so close this early, but he knew he needed to leave soon. He dug his face into her neck and breathed in her scent.

“Y/N...I’m close.”

Y/N’s hand went into his hair again, tugging at the long dark strands, “Yes! Yes! Eren please!!”

Eren thrusted himself into her a couple more times. He gave one final thrust as he came deep inside her, groaning as his seed spilt inside her. He stayed there for a few minutes, making sure every last drop made it inside her. Y/N on the other hand, was completely spent. Eren slowly untangled himself from her and gently laid her down on his bed, using his hand to move any stray hairs out of her face.

“Eren…” Y/N says.

“Shhh,” Eren hushes her, pressing a kiss to her lips, “Rest. I will be back in a month. Wait for me.”

Y/N’s eyes close, too tired to do anything from exhaustion. Eren looks down at the sleeping woman, the woman he held so dear to him. He sighed and stood up, grabbed his things and left. 

“It had to be done.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Time skip to a month after*

It had been a month since that day and 2 weeks since Y/N found something. She was planning on telling Eren, only to then hear that Eren had been locked up for acting on his own and that her dear best friend, Sasha, had been killed.

“Y/N” Armin said as they all gathered together, “We will talk to Eren and figure something out.”

“Why do you always defend him, Armin?!” Connie yelled.

“Connie...” Mikasa warned.

“No, Mikasa! You cannot defend Eren for what he did! You are doing it because of your Akerman instincts.” Connie looked at us with tears, “I lost my twin...I lost half of me...And do you know what Eren did when he heard Sasha died? That bastard laughed.”

Y/N looked at him in shock, “No...He wouldn’t-”

“Why would he laugh if you all knew everything about him?” Connie pressed.

“Let us talk to Eren. Hopefully Y/N can talk to him.” Armin said.

“What if Eren shares the same goals as Zeke?” Jean asks, “What then.”

“The scouts have medicine that can turn someone into a titan..” 

“Armin” Y/N began to tear up, “No...”

“If Eren can no longer be trusted, we need to transform someone we trust into a titan and feed Eren to them.” 

“But Eren still has time left!” Y/N cries.

“We know,” Mikasa hugs her, “So that’s why we need to talk to him and figure out his motives to see if he is still on our side.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Time skip to when Eren breaks out*

“We have an emergency!!” An officer barges into the meeting room, gathering everyone’s eyes on him, “Eren Jeager has escaped!”

“What?!” Armin exclaimed, “How?!”

“He used the War Hammer titan,” Hange sighed, “I guess his is going to meet up with the Jeagerists. We need to meet with Nicolo and figure something out”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 *At the restaurant*

“NICOLO! Stop it now!” Jean said as he held back the chef.

“She killed Sasha!” the chef cried pointing at Gabi.

“Calm down, we will handle her!” Armin said, “Y/N, Mikasa, let’s take her to another room.”

“I killed your friend. Killing me should be enough. Just don’t hurt Falco.” Gabi said.

“We aren’t going to kill you.” Y/N said.

“You can’t stop yourself from wanting to kill me right?” the little girl asked.

“No,” Armin said, “That’s all you ever talk about huh? Kill, kill, kill. You remind me of a certain someo-”

Armin was interrupted by the door opening to reveal Eren.

Everyone looked at him in shock.

“E-Eren...” Y/N sighed.

“Sit down,” Eren said showing a cut on his hand, “and keep your hands on the table.”

Everyone did as they were told, not wanting to risk and accident. There was a knock on the door.

“We’re leaving.”

“Okay.” Eren called.

“Was that Floch’s voice?” Armin asked, “You came with Floch?”

“Yeah” Eren said, “I wanted to talk to you guys in a quiet setting. We can settle Eldia’s problems without any conflict. Hange and the others will be fine. We’re just moving them.”

“We are the ones who wanted to talk to you,” Armin said, “We just wanted to know what you were thinking Eren.”

“What made you decide on your own to attack Marley.” Y/N said, “If Zeke and Yelena have really gotten you on their side…”

“I’m free.” Eren and said, “Whatever I do, whatever I choose, I do it out of my own free will”

“You met with the Yelena in secret the night of the rail opening right?” Armin asked, “Has this all been your free will since then?”

“That’s right.” Eren said

“You’re being controlled.” Mikasa said.

“Eren..” Y/N began, “You are not the kind of person who would involve innocent civilians and children, even if they live in an enemy state. You’ve cared for and thought about us more than anyone. Haven’t you? You saved us multiple times out of your own kindness right?” Her hand instinctively going down to her stomach.

“I said keep your hands on the table” Eren said sternly. “I hid myself in Liberio and spoke with Zeke brother to brother. I learned a lot then. Zeke knows more than Marley does.”

“Eren-” Armin begins.

“Armin,” Eren said, “You’re still going by and seeing Annie aren’t you? Is that out of your own will or is it Bertolts?”

Armin was taken aback, “what-”

“If memories play a major role in forming who the person is, that means part of you has become Bertolt. A part of an enemy soldiers that feels love for another enemy soldiers influencing a significant part of your judgment. You weren’t soft like this before. You never back to the enemy. Your judgment was always able to lead us to the answer. But every time you open your mouth now, it’s ‘let’s talk’ you’re absolutely useless.” 

“Eren…” YN began.

“Armin you’re the one being controlled by the enemy.”

“Eren stop” Mikasa says.

“I learned about the Ackermans there too. The reason you’re strong Mikasa. It turns out the Marleyian scholars still barely know anything about titans but what came about by accident from the Eldian empires fiddling around with the subjects of Ymir during its long history was the Ackerman clan who maintain a human form but in some cases can manifest the power of the Titans. Still the Ackerman clan was designed in order to protect Eldia’s king as a result the instincts and their blood will still activate once they recognize someone as a host. In other words you only cling to me because of your instincts as an Ackerman. You obeyed my order in that moment when you were facing death. Apparently when all of those conditions are met the instincts hidden inside the Ackerman clans blood will awaken. Not only did this heighten your physical abilities to an extreme, you were even given the experience in battlefield accumulated by every past Ackerman by way of a path. All because you happened by chance to trick yourself into believing I was the host you had to protect.”

“You’re wrong.” Y/N said. 

Eren turned to her with a glare, “Oh? Am I? How?”

“It wasn’t by chance,” she said, “It was because of you she was able to become strong. Because of you and your kindness.” 

“Apparently once an Ackerman awakens they find themselves suffering from headaches. They say this happens out of the true self trying to resist being forced to protect its host. Sound familiar Mikasa? What I’m saying is that the real Mikasa disappeared in that mountain hunt nine years ago leaving only you behind ever faithful to your Ackerman instincts.”

“Eren stop.”

“The clan who lost their true selves created only to follow orders. In other words, slaves.”

“Eren please stop”

“Do you know what I hate the most in this world, anyone who isn’t free. That, or cattle. Just looking at the made me so angry. Now I finally understand why. I couldn’t stand to look at it and doubting slave who only ever follow orders. Ever since I was a kid I have always hated you.”

“STOP IT!” YN slapped Eren but he slammed her to the ground. “Stay Y/N” 

Armin threw himself across the table and began to throw punches but Eren deflected them with ease. 

“Armin we’ve never fought before, huh? Do you know why that is? It’s because there’s no way you could even put up a fight against me.” Eren slammed Armin into the ground and began stomping on him. 

He suddenly stopped when a pair of arms wrapped around his torso. 

“Please... stop.” Y/N said crying. 

Eren looked into her eyes, “I will stop if you tell me where Zeke is. Or you can just come with us.”

 He signaled the guards to pick up Armin. 

“And what is it you even wanted to say?” Armin coughed, “Is that the freedom you wanted? The freedom to hurt all of us? Tell me who’s the real slave to a piece of shit?”

Eren gritted his teeth, “Who are you calling a slave? Let’s go.”

That night they went to the Shiganshina district. Eren had Y/N, Mikasa, and Armin thrown in a cell while he and his group made a plan to meet up with Zeke.

“Why…” Y/N cried as tears flowed down her cheeks, “Why would he do this?”

“I don’t know.” Armin said.

Y/N got up from her chair to lay down, but collapsed due to the pain in her stomach. She groaned in pain, clutching herself.

“Y/N!!” Jean and Mikasa cried out and rushed to help her up.

“Are you alright?” Armin asked.

“I think so…” Y/N said with tears, “But I am not sure about it…”

“...It?” Armin questions.

“I was planning to tell Eren when he got back…” Y/N said, her whole body shaking, “But he’s not the same person, I don’t know what he would do to me if he found out…”

“Found out what?” Connie asked.

“That...I’m…” Y/N shakes uncontrollably, “p-pregnant.”

“What?!”

Armin hold Y/N closer, “And that bastard floored you earlier. That can’t be good.”

“HEY!!” Jean yells through the halls, “We need a doctor immediately!! Please!!”

“Someone please!! Get a doctor!!” Mikasa screams.

“Hold on, Y/N!” Armin rubs her shoulder, “We will get you help! Just hold on. Maybe if Eren knows, he will-”

“No!” Y/N cries, “He cannot know. He must not know!”

“I can’t know what?”

Everyone gasped at the familiar voice. Eren.

There was complete silence and that ticked Eren off.

“What. Can’t. I. Know.” He annunciates. Y/N winces.

“Eren,” Mikasa starts, “Y/N is hurt. You went too hard on her.”

Eren skeptically looked at Mikasa then at Y/N. He saw how red, sweaty and pained she was.

“Are you so weak that you couldn’t handle a shove? I didn’t even do it that hard.” He chuckled.

“Eren…” Jean growled stalking towards the bars. He reached through and grabbed Eren’s shirt, “If you still have feelings for her, you will get her help.” 

“Jean…” Y/N whimpers, catching Eren’s attention, “Don’t.”

Eren laughed, “You care about him don’t you Y/n? Would you hate me if I hurt him?”

“P-please don’t Eren,” Y/N said, “He’s my friend, but you are special to me.”

“Then you wouldn’t have a problem joining my cause. If I’m so special to you.”

Y/N gets up with the help of Mikasa, still clutching her stomach, “Not if it means hurting my friends.”

Eren eyes her clutching her stomach but doesn’t move, “How will I know you are not tricking me to open this cell and you all attack me?”

“Eren” Armin starts, “You have three titans and could kill us at any moment. However, Y/N, our friend, is in serious pain. Why would we risk her safety to escape from you?”

“We will go to the opposite side of the cell.” Mikasa said.

Eren seemed to be lost in thought but hearing Y/N groan in pain brings him back to reality.

“Fine,” He said, “I will take her to get help. But if any of you try anything, I will not hesitate to hurt you.”

“Thank you…” Connie breathed.

Eren took the keys to the cell out of his pocket and unlocked the cell door, “Move.”

Everyone stepped back, leaving Y/N by herself. Eren opened the door and roughly grabbed her, Y/N making her wince. “Y/N!” Mikasa flinched, causing Eren’s head to snap up, his titan marks showing up on his skin. “I’m fine! It’s okay.” Y/N said as Eren quickly dragged her out, looking back at her friends in the cell with a sad smile.

Eren walked into the conference room gathering the Jeagerists attention, “I need a doctor.” he said in a monotonous voice. 

“Eren!” Floch said, “Why is Y/N out of her cell?”

“Get a doctor. Now.” Eren ordered. Everyone went out in search of a doctor while Eren and Y/N waited in an unoccupied office. Soon, a man was led in by a soldier. 

“Mr. Jeager,” the man greeted, “My name is Dr. Kim, I was told you are in need of a doctor?”

“Yes. Apparently this woman is hurting in her stomach.” Y/N flinched when Eren referred to her as a woman and not by name.

“Alright. I will take a look at her and will grab you if there is anything wrong.” Dr. Kim said. Eren nodded and left.

Y/N gave a sigh of relief when Eren left, which went unnoticed by the doctor. “So,” he began with a warm smile, “What seems to be the issue?”

“Please don’t tell him anything.” Y/N whispered.

“Excuse me?”

“Please...and do not condemn him. I am pregnant with his child. He does not know. My friends and I tried to confront him, which ended up in him attacking us. Hurting me. He cannot know. But I need to know if the baby is fine.”

The doctor looks shocked. “You must tell hi-”

“No! Not right now. Please doctor. This must stay between us.”

The doctor gave a long sigh and nodded, “Alright. But I need you to take your shirt off so that I may check.”

Y/N took off her shirt, and laid down on the bed. The doctor began to feel around her lower stomach area on her very small bump. 

“You have some bruising, but I believe it is alright. Have you bled at all since the incident?” He asked. Y/N shook her head and the doctor nodded. 

“Well then, I believe everything is alright. Please try to take it easy. Maybe stay away from him for a while.” Y/N nodded, tears streaming down her face, “Thank you.” The doctor smiled and walked out.

The doctor walked to the other room where Eren was. 

“Well?” he asked while looking out the window.

“She has bruising on her abdomen, but overall she is fine. I suggest you be careful with her.”

Eren was caught off guard by that last sentence and looked at the doctor. 

“Well,” The doctor said, “I must get going. I still have many patients to attend to.”

Eren gets up and shakes the doctor’s hands, “Of course. Thank you.”

When the doctor left, Eren went to the office where Y/N was. He slammed open the door to see Y/N laying on the bed with her hand on her stomach, startling her.

“So you lied.” Eren said.

“What?” she said.

Eren walked to her and stood next to the bed, looking into her eyes with hatred, “You made it sound like something bad was happening, but you just had a few bruises. You lied to me. Did you do it to distract me from them escaping?”

“Wha-Eren! I wasn’t lying!” Y/N said.

“What are you hiding?” Eren asked.

Y/N’s eyes widened slowly sitting up, “Hiding?”

“You’re hiding something Y/N. What is it?” Eren said darkly.

“I’m not hiding anything Eren! You’re scaring me!” Y/N cries backing into the wall.

Eren slowly climbs onto the bed towards her, “You called a doctor for bruising. BRUISING. On your stomach. Isn’t that suspicious?”

“Eren-”

“I will ask you again. What. Are. You. Hiding?” He ordered. His face centimeters from hers.

“Nothing...I’m not hiding anyth-AH” Eren cut her off by roughly grabbing her and slamming her back onto the bed. 

“Eren!” She cried, “Stop it! Please!”

“I will figure it out. What are you hiding…” Eren holds her hands above her head with one hand and with his other, he ripped her shirt off. 

“Stop it Eren! Please stop!” Y/N cried trying to kick him off, “No! Don’t!”

But it was too late. Eren saw the bruises that littered her lower stomach…and the tiny bump. 

At that moment, Eren couldn’t hear Y/N’s cries, only his heartbeat. Y/N kept crying for him to get off and to not hurt her, shaking like a leaf.

“How long…” Eren’s voice silenced her, “How long?”

“A-A m-month. Eren p-please don’t-”

“You weren’t going to tell me.”

“E-Eren-”

“You WEREN’T going to tell me!”

“YOU’RE NOT THE SAME PERSON!” Y/N screams.

She can feel Eren shaking with anger on top of her, his hold tightening around her wrists.

“Ngh! Eren! Stop it! Eren!” She cried.

“Why…” He asks with a shaky breath, “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“You aren’t yourself. Y-You have been acting on your own. Jeopardizing everyone’s safety. My best friend was killed because of you...and...and you LAUGHED!!” 

Her scream caught Eren off-guard which allowed her to push him off onto his back and start punching him.

“Why did you laugh Eren?! WHY? Why did you laugh at Sasha’s death?! Did she not mean anything to you!? WHY EREN?”

Eren laid completely still, letting her land her punches on him, he would heal anyways.

“Why are you helping Zeke?! Why are you hurting us?! Armin?? Mikasa?? Why are you hurting me??” Y/N’s began to tire and her head began to hurt she got one last punch to his face before collapsing on his chest, crying. 

“Why did you turn against us??” she sobbed digging her nails into his skin through his shirt, “What happened to you?”

“I am still me-”

“No you’re not.”

“I am doing what I need to do to to save us.”

“We can find a different way.”

“There is no other way, Y/N. I need to get to Zeke. I need to prevent him from keeping Eldians from having children!”

Y/N looked up at him in shock, “What?”

“I am not going with Zeke’s plan all the way Y/N. He want me to use the Founding Titans power to make all Eldians unable to have children. But I won’t let that happen, I will connect with him and use the Founding Titan to start the Rumbling to destroy the Marlayians.”

“But why hurt us?”

“It’s best if not everyone knows what’s going on so Zeke does not get suspicious.”

He brings her face to his and kisses her lips.

“But Eren. Thousands of innocent lives will die…”

“But not everyone on Paradis,” he says trailing kisses down to her breasts, “Not you. Not the baby.”

Y/N clutches Eren’s shirt as he sucks on her nipples, “You can save everyone Eren. All this bloodshed isn’t the answer.”

“Let’s not talk about this.” He says as he trails his hand into her pants, finding her wet core. “Let me love you.”

Y/N dug her nails into his skin, whimpering as he brought her to her high with his digits.

“Erennnnnnn” She cries out in ecstasy, panting like a dog. Eren looks at her with gentle eyes. The woman he loves underneath him, carrying his future. Seeing her tiny bump awoke something in him. He suddenly rid himself of his clothes, ripped off her pants and underwear and quickly slid his cock into her heat. 

“Eren!” Y/N cried out, “Be careful! I’m still sensitive there…”

Eren gives her a long passionate kiss as he begins to thrust his hips into hers, earning beautiful moans from her.

Y/N had never felt such pleasure before, Eren’s cock was hitting all the right places in her, bringing her closer to another orgasm.

“E-Eren I’m c-close” She panted.

Eren then grabbed her and flipped her on her hand and knees, pressing her head onto the soft pillow under her. He loved this position. He loved to look at her smooth back, the way her hair would be all over the place and how her big e/c eyes would look back to meet his. She was like a goddess. He began to feel her walls tighten around him, a tell sign that she was closs. He leaned over her as he went harder against her hips, earning himself louder moans, kissing her nape. His hand slithered under to to rub her clit, bringing her closer to her high.

“Nghh E-Eren! P-Please don’t stop!!” She cried.

“Cum for me Y/N.” 

And she did. Her body went limp. Eren had to hold her up to that he could finish, spilling his seed into her. Eren wasn’t sure if it was physical or emotional exhaustion, but he collapsed right next to Y/N, pulling her into his arms, laying a hand on the tiny bump. Y/N on any day would love it when Eren spooned with her after sex, but she did not want to stay with him any longer. When she tried to get up, Eren’s hold on her tightened.

“Don’t leave me.”

“Eren, we can’t keep this up.”

“Please…” She stiffened as she felt wetness on her skin. Tears. “Let me hold you.” 

She didn’t say anything more, but she laid back down in his hold and relaxed.

“I love you, Y/N”

Y/N looks up at Eren with teary eyes, “Eren…”

“I am doing this to save you.”

“Eren, please…”

“Please let’s not talk about this. Let me hold you both for now.”

Y/N stiffens in his arms.

“Y/N, I’m sorry about Sasha. I will kill the brat who killed her-”

“No. You will not kill a child for revenge. She knows what she did and she regrets it. Leave her be.”

“Y/N-”

“Please... Just hold us.”

Eren nods and flips you in his arms to face him.

“I hate you.” Y/N cries as she digs her face into his chest inhaling his scent.

“I know.”

“We will fight you.”

“I know.”

“We will fight to kill you.”

“I know.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

WOW! This is my first fic that I’ve ever posted on here! I’m sorry if there are some errors, but I hope you guys love it and my little twist on the story!💜

[breitzbachbea]

Ask game for hws turkey!👀✨

Thank you two, amber and @needcake!

Ah yes, that old Turkish chestnut.

Send me a character and I'll give you a list

Favourite thing about them: I honestly love how intense he is. He's so eager and full of energy and devotion. It's fun to write people who love stuff, you know? As well as hate. Any strong emotion can be cathartic and I see myself in intense people (as strange as that sounds).

Least favourite thing about them: Oof, good question, I try not to think as much in terms of "good and bad" but interesting. I do think he can be quite an entitled prick at times, too, which is not a trait I vibe with in him.

Favorite line: Sad that my Hetalia Mangas aren't at hand, but I also wouldn't know if anything about his canon appearance sticks out. However, do have this line of dialogue from sadlygrove's İstanbul, which is seared into my brain (like many lines from sadlygrove's fics):

[Context: Greece asks: "Do you think there's anyone as pathetic as us?"]

"I ain't ever asked. We've had seven hundred years to love and fight one another. 's too much."

BrOTP: Oh, good question. Obviously I'd die for him and Dilan in my "Like Father Like Son" AU, but I am less well-versed in canon. I think he, Greece and Egypt also make a great friend trio.

OTP: My dear, my buddy, my pal, I would not have aph Turkey brainrot if it wasn't for TurGre. Listen. Listen. I'd lay my life down for him and Herakles, I will sip their tragedy up and yearn for a happy ending I know may be impossible until they lay my cold dead body into the ground. Reading İstanbul made me realize 4 years of emotional baggage I had never taken the time to deal with & I swear I've had a soulmelt with the Turk in that moment. I just ... I just love TurGre so much, in all of its complicated colours.

NOTP: I don't really have a nOTP with him, but I'll be real - I only care about him and Japan in a platonic manner. Zero interest in that ship, to be honest.

Random headcanon: Trying to think one of my own here ... Oh! He loves terrible Turkish Pop Music. Like, not even the iconic and overplayed stuff, he is into whatever the Turkish pop equivalent of Schlager is. Bottom of the barrel for anyone who isn't drunk/half-deaf, but he just thinks it's the most fun in the world. Bit of a guilty pleasure, though, he doesn't show it in front of other nations.

Unpopular Opinion: I don't even know what constitutes popular opinion. He's not a himbo. He's brash, he's loud, he's impulsive but he's not dumb. Turkey has an immensely sophisticated history and its people are very clever in every day life. He's not stupid, he's just lacking a bit in the "getting along with other people" department at times.

Song I associate with them: I've recently been thinking a bit about Empires/How this Imperial attitude carries over into my "Like Father Like Son" AU, so I've been thinking of him (& others) while listening to "Wolves" by Sam Tinnesz ft. Silverberg.

In the context of TurGre, my favourite song from Turkey's perspective is My Heart by Twin Wild. It captures him so perfectly, in his intensity and devotion; the lust he has for life.

Favorite picture of them: Toughie! I like most of the canon and fanart I see of him, but here's a top 3

1. This official art from the latest Hetalia volume. As soon as this thing is out in Germany and I get my hands on it, I will do nothing but stare all damn day at this page. Look at how nice and handsome and friendly and yet still rogueish he looks. I need to kiss him on the mouth.

2. This commission I got by @/captkirkland. I may be biased because he is also surrounded by his found family from my "Like Father Like Son" AU here, but I simply love how Turkish he looks.

3. This portrait my friend C0FFINATED over at twitter did of him two years ago. It should be illegal to be this beautiful. The nose. The eyes. The eyebrows. Such a strong face.

[lavender-lotion]

Fanfic Writer Asks

I was tagged by @asarcasticwitch - thank you so much!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

737, which is an ugly number :(

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,890,054 words, which ... AH I might actually get to 2mil by the end of the year!

3) How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

thank you, ao3 dashboard for this handy list:

Teen Wolf (TV) (377)

X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies) (187)

Marvel Cinematic Universe (93)

Glee (29)

Young Justice (Cartoon) (11)

Kingsman (Movies) (9)

Original Work (9)

The Avengers (Marvel Movies) (8)

Criminal Minds (US TV) (7)

Thor (Movies) (6)

Deadpool (Movieverse) (5)

Weird City (TV) (5)

X-Men (Original Timeline Movies) (4)

Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga) (4)

Ragnarok (TV 2020) (4)

Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies) (3)

Teen Wolf (TV) RPF (3)

Iron Man (Movies) (3)

The House in the Cerulean Sea - T. J. Klune (2)

Venom (Marvel Movies) (1)

Stranger Things (TV 2016) (1)

Captain America (Movies) (1)

Fate: The Winx Saga (TV) (1)

Power Rangers Ninja Storm (1)

X-Men - All Media Types (1)

Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan (1)

Riverdale (TV 2017) (1)

X-Men Evolution (1)

Push (2009) (1)

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

With You, I Belong

Mates and Marriage Proposals

The Perceptions of You and I

(baby) maybe that matters more

Breathing You In

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

ughh so, fair warning, I have a lot of works. I definitely do not remember all of them, however I do have four works tagged as Unhappy Ending and then another nine works tagged Ambiguous/Open Ending, which is way more than I’d thought I had! 

however, there is one fic that stands out in mind when I think about which of my works has the angstiest ending! Heed the tags :)

And Now?

Teen And Up Audiences | Major Character Death | M/M | Teen Wolf (TV) | Chris Argent/Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski | Chris Argent, Peter Hale, Stiles Stilinski | Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canonical Character Death, Peter Hale Dies, Unhappy Ending

Stiles Stilinski finds out who his soul mates are by setting one on fire.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

ughhhhhhhh I truly do not know??? 

7) Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I don’t write many crossovers at all! I have some mcu/teen wolf cross overs, I have a teen wolf/glee cross over plotted (that i’ll probably never write), but my strangest is probably this teen wolf/x-men cross over!

what-ifs (don’t fuckin’ matter to no one)

Teen And Up Audiences | No Archive Warnings Apply | M/M | X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)Teen Wolf (TV) | Logan (X-Men)/Sheriff Stilinski | Logan (X-Men), Sheriff Stilinski, Stiles Stilinski | Memory Loss, Telepathy, Mentions of War, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Child Neglect, Grief/Mourning, Telepath Stiles Stilinski, Telekinetic Stiles Stilinski, Nightmares, Cuddling & Snuggling

There’s somethin’ there. Somethin’ that has him sleeping curled up on his side with a pillow tucked to his chest, somethin’ that has him splittin’ up his food ‘fore he eats ‘cause he don’t need as much as a baseline. Has him turnin’ to tell someone shit that ain’t there. There’s just...there’s just somethin’ there that’s missin’ and it shouldn’t be missin’.

8) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

sometimes! I don’t write a lot of smut because I actively dislike writing it, but the smut I do write is super super soft and sappy and full of emotions lol

9) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I respond to almost all of my comments! comments i won’t respond to: negative comments, unsolicited criticism, comments that aren’t relevant to the fic itself, comments simply asking for more 

I love love love responding to comments! I love every single comment that I get and I want to show how much I appreciate getting them, and personally I think responding to comments is the only way to do that! everyone has different comment philosophies, but for me, if someone is taking the time to comment on my fic like I so badly want them to, I think it’s important to respond to show my appreciation! 

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

aha YEAH I DO. this past weekend I actually got a number of shitty comments and had to file two ao3 abuse reports for harrasment (: I love it

I am no stranger to hate comments. I write copious amounts of age difference fic. I write copious amounts of incest. I am not going to apologize nor am I going to feel bad for enjoying either.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

ughhh I sure as heck hope not! 

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I have a number of them :) I always always do my best to make sure it’s linked to the original fic, AND that I add a tag noting that there’s a translation!

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have made a few attempts! the only successful attempt is there's nothing i wouldn't do to make you feel my love which is a collaboration with @flightinflame, not quite a co-write!

14) What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I am unable to answer this lol I don’t have an all-time favourite. mutli-shipping forever.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

god okay this is such a good question! imma ramble about a few so bear with me here! (i may have 700 posted works but I also have a few hundreds wips & ideas floating around in my gdrive, too)

gone & past - this is a starrish wip i’d started in 2017. I ended up deleting it from ao3 to rewrite it and never got there, but I have about 20k of content! I built my home, inside of you - thorki human au with college jock thor and high school dancer loki. i’ve got a start and nothing else Sheriff Stilinski Gets Some Sweet Sweet Lovin’ - massive wip where... well, the sheriff fucks his way through the entire pack. I want to write it but. trans allison au - this is an au where allison is trans and that changes the entire season 1 canon. it features stallison, petopher, and a looooooong ass outline that will never exist beyond my wips You Fill My Heart (With Such a Gentle Love) - this is a stetopher a/b/o au with pregnant omega stiles and alpha pair petopher falling in love. it started as a labour of love to someone I no longer have in my life. I have about 30k, a full outline, but idk. makes me sad to think about it they slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered - this is my big x-men first class rewrite that I honestly don’t think i’ll ever finish. I have a few thousand words, a full outline, but no love lost for cherik so. doubtful Physiotherapy (I'll Be Your Baby) - this was a fic I was SO excited about, and then it kinda flopped and stayed a wip because I didn’t have a plan or the motivation to finish it. it’s a winterspider human au with amputee bucky and science twink peter that I adore the premise of but who knows breathing you in chapter 2 - I have a massive second chapter planned for this fic but the first did so good so fast I am way too intimidated to write more in case everyone hates it lmao

there are more arjgoirjeg there are so many more but these are the bigger ones I can think of right now!

16) What are your writing strengths?

ughhhhh I hate answering this because I have, like, seriously bad imposter syndrome around my writing BUT I do think i’m able to weave poignant backstory into narration & i write strong, distinctive narrative voices!

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

literally I can’t write settings at all. I don’t know how people vividly describe settings but I absolutely cannot do that and it’s one of the reasons I haven’t delved into original fiction. I need to write the town my characters live in?? fuck that imma just use a location we’ve seen on screen & let readers fill in the blanks lmao

I am also shit at long fic. I don’t have the mind for long and interesting plots, and I don’t have the focus to write long fic (which is why every long fic i’ve ever posted has taken me literal years to complete smh).

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I like it! both as a reader and as a writer. as a writer, I generally only use a few words, or small sentences that can be understood by context, and I generally don’t 

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

the last thing I wrote and posted was this one:

Languish

Teen And Up Audiences | No Archive Warnings Apply | M/M | X-Men (Original Timeline Movies) | John Allerdyce/Bobby Drake | Bobby Drake, John Allerdyce, X-Men (Team) | Not Canon Compliant, Future Fic, Established Relationship, Summer, Teasing, Fluff

It was a really, really hot Saturday, and most of the school was outback, enjoying the sun, not caring about the heat, and having the time of their life.

Everyone but Bobby, of course, who was melting away.

“I just want to remind everyone that I make ice. I am the Ice Man. I am not built for the heat and soon enough I’m going to melt away into nothing.”

20) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

this is another impossible question! I have a few I really enjoy, but I really don’t think I have a favourite that stands out above the rest!

i’m tagging: @4magicandmayhem @insertmeaningfulusername @midrashic @wynnefic @ikeracity @stronglyobsessed @elledelajoie @wolfnprey​ & anyone else who sees it and wants to do it! seriously! go ahead :)

blank questions below the read more!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

3) How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

7) Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

8) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

9) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14) What’s your all-time favorite ship?

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

16) What are your writing strengths?

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

20) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?