#albus's decision is: snake

[bonniesfamiliar]

DIMENSION TRAVEL STORY IDEA: Summary: Harriet "Harry" James Potter has travelled to an alternate dimension during a spell gone wrong (Kreacher's actually responsible cuz he cares about Harry since she's the Lady of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black) Harriet knows it's an alternate dimension cuz she finds a newspaper stand and lo and behold, who's on the front cover? Tom. Fucking. Riddle. But not the ugly Voldemort Tom Riddle she killed. No this is young Tom Riddle who grew up FINE AS HELL.

And he's on the front page cuz he's The Minister of Magic and guess what he's talking about.

Dumbledore.

He's talking about Dumbledore.

And not manipulative gramps Dumbledore whose beard is longer than my hair.

No.

We're talking about this one

You know why he's talking about this Dumbledore?

Because Albus. Percival. Fucking. Dumbledore decided to become the epitome of "Be Gay, Do Crime," with Gellert Grindelwald, his husband.

DUMBLEDORE IS A DARK LORD WITH HIS HUBBY

So Harriet is obviously freaking out and does the right thing.

She goes to a pub and drinks her sorrows away in Scottish Whiskey, (Thank you, Minny)

But Harry never makes reasonable decisions so when she finds a quill and paper, guess what she does.

She writes to Misinter Riddle.

But the drama doesn't end there.

Whenever Harriet does anything, whether she writes or talks about Tom Riddle, she doesn't speak in English.

She talks in Pareseltongue.

(Cuz she and tom are the only Parselmouths. I think.)

So Parseltongue.

Harriet writes in parseltongue to the Minister of Fucking Magic on his wrongdoings in her universe.

The letter literally looks like this:

ssss ssss sssssssss ss ssssss s sss ssssssss ssssss sss sss ss ssss ssssssss ssssssss ssss ssssss sssssss ss ss sssssssss and that transcribes to 

"Dear Lord Voldemort, or should I say Minister Riddle, you are an ugly noseless hairless evil snakey bastard in my dimension,"

and cuz she's spiteful, she signs it off with "You-Know-Who"

But the thing is Harriet never mentioned her name or who her parents were.

So when Minister Riddle receives this letter, he freaks out and then does everything he can to find this person.

Not to kill them.

But to woo them.

This kind, thoughtful person has travelled from another dimension just to stop him from becoming evil.

AND THEY'RE A PARSELMOUTH.'

THEY'RE OBVIOUSLY HIS SNAKE MATE. (cuz he killed all of the Gaunts and Riddles so they're not family)

You can bet ur ass he was squealing to Nagini at the thought of having another Parselmouth in the world with him.

He's obsessed.

(He's not tom riddle if he doesn't have possessive issues and his jealousy issues are just as bad.🤭🤭🤭🥰🥰🥰😩😩😩)

Like it's not a want.

It's a need.

He needs the writer of this letter to be with him forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and-

You probably get the idea.

Anyway, 1 year goes by.

Tom Riddle: I MUST FIND THIS PERSON AND MAKE THEM MINE

Harriet Potter: *forgets about even writing the letter* 

Tom is growing more obsessed as the days go by and then he meets a woman at a charity ball held for idk an organisation for potieneers? Potion Masters?

She's chatting up with Lord and Lady Dagworth-Granger cuz she's been working with them cuz they remind her of Hermione and she needed a job.

Anyway, he approaches the couple in hopes of talking to them and Harriet sees Minister Riddle approaching and quickly moves away to head to the drinks table.

And then lets out a breath of relief when she realises he wasn't heading for her.

She schmoozes for a few more minutes before calling it quits and heading out for fresh air.

The party is at the Dagworth-Granger's manor so she goes out to the gardens.

And hears a cry for help.

Her Gryffindor instincts push her to run towards the sound of danger.

But her Slytherin side made her hide behind the wall from where the cry of help had come from.

It was a witch being harassed by two wizards.

One of the wizards was holding her wand, taunting her.

While the other had begun to take off her outfit.

Before it could go any further, she brought the men's attention to her and with a flick of her wrist, Harriet had the men on their knees.

She then walked over to the one holding the witch's wand and grabbed it out of his hand, accidentally snapping his wrist in the process.

She gave the witch her wand back and accepted the shaky hug she received.

Harriet waited until the witch was out of sight before she turned to the men and smiled, watching as their faces fell into horror as they saw the fangs in her mouth.

(I'm in love with the prompt by a post on tumblr where  Basilisk!Harry is hugging Kneazle!Hermione and Dragon!Ron also wants his cuddles. I can't find the person who made it but I've lived by the idea that these would be their animagus forms if they ever performed the spell like James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew had done to become illegal animagi for Remus Lupin)

Harriet rips into their throats, feeds on them and then turns their bodies into ash with the fiendryfire spell.

She grabbed a mirror from her purse to erase the blood from her face and clothes and began to walk away lest anyone come looking for the wizards.

But, Harriet suddenly slammed into what felt like a wall.

A very warm wall.

Regaining her bearings, Harriet looked up to notice that the "wall" was MINISTER RIDDLE.

AND HE WAS HOLDING HER ARMS.

"Minister Riddle, what are you doing here?" She said pasting a smile on her face.

Shift of POV:

Minister Riddle internally sighed at being stuck in another ball instead of being at home, analysing the letter once again.

He was certain it was a woman who sent it as there was a red lipstick kiss on the paper after it was signed sss-ssss-sss (You-Know-Who)

His thoughts are cut off when Lady Dagworth-Granger asks her husband where Harriet is.

Who is Harriet? he muses but when Lord Dagworth-Granger offers to look in the gardens, Tom leaps at the chance to run away from the party.

He goes into the gardens aimlessly walking around for a few minutes, lost in his thoughts of his mysterious parselmouth when a witch comes out of nowhere and collides with him.

He uprighted her by placing his hands on her arms and looked on curiously as she seemed to freeze in place when she looked up to see that it was he she bumped into.

Tom Riddle is the one to freeze when she speaks.

"Minister Riddle, what are you doing here?" She says an innocent smile on her face as if she had no idea his whole world had just flipped on its axis.

Parseltongue.

She's speaking in parseltongue.

She's his parselmouth.

The one from another dimension.

But he had to clarify so he replies honestly for the first time in his life, in parseltongue, "I've been looking for you," 

"Searching for me? Whatever for?"

A boyish smile widens on his face before he forces it into a polite smile.

"The Lord and Lady Dagworth-Granger have been searching for you, Miss Harriet I believe you are?" He reverts to English to test if she notices the change but she doesn't.

She just replies in English, "Ah, I see. I disappeared for too long with my break from the stuffiness of the ball and yes, I am Harriet."

Harriet, he muses in his mind, no last name to give for me.

She extends her gloved hand for him to shake but Tom riddle reaches for both of her hands and turns them over to kiss them gently and forces himself not to give into the urge of nuzzling into her hands (well not yet at least) and without letting them go, he straightens to his full height to tower over her (giving him a thrill at knowing she was shorter, meaning he could easily pick her up and carry her, be it over his shoulders or bridal style) and replies, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Harriet. No last name?"

(Harriet has been wearing gloves cuz of the 'I must not tell lies' scars that cover her hands.)

Harriet smiles teasingly towards him and his cold heart thaws ever so, "I couldn't decide on a last name and I've decided I like the mysterious aura it gives me,"

Or maybe she couldn't risk using her real last name because she was from a different dimension, Tom muses in his mind, Nevertheless, Harriet Riddle has a lovely ring to it.

Harriet Potter: *staring confused at Tom Riddle as he smiles down at her

Tom Riddle: *Winter would be a lovely time to get married, wouldn't it?

I'm stopping here cuz it's a summary, not a story. Yes, I'm Evil.

Tell me if you like it tho.

I was this close *makes an inch between her fingers* to making this a Soulmate AU story.

Think of the angst that Harriet would go through all her life knowing that her soulmate's words to her are:  I've been looking for you

And it's an alternate hotter version of Tom Riddle, AKA THE BAD GUY WHO MURDERED HER PARENTS 

And think of how Harriet's words had motivated Tom his entire life to do his best to work hard (and cheat death) to live long enough for his soulmate to see him one day at a place be it a library or a gala or a hallway and ask him: Minister Riddle, what are you doing here?

Huh.

Maybe I should make them soulmates.

I need a timeline. fuck.

Um.

Riddle was educated at Hogwarts from 1938 to 1945, and was sorted into Slytherin House, a nod to his ancestor Salazar Slytherin.

Making Tom 34 cuz 1927 is the year Tom was born in if he went to Hogwarts in 1938 which would make him 11 in 1938 and 38-11 is 27 so 1927 is when he was born.

61-27=34 so Harriet is in 1961 but cuz of the time skip tom is 35 years old in 1962

Harriet was born in 1980 

The Second War technically began on 24 June, 1995, though was not officially announced by the Ministry until nearly a year later on 17 June, 1996, and ended on 2 May, 1998, at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, after the death of the Dark Lord.

Which made Harriet 18 in 1998, 24 in 2004, 24 in 1961 and 25 in 1962

 but she deserves peace so the year Kreacher sent her back was 2004 which would make her 24 cuz he's horrified that she hasn't attempted to romance anyone since Cedric Diggory.

Tbh, if he was my bf I would never love again.

But then hubby "I would burn the world down for you and rebuild a new one from its ashes" tom riddle is here and I'm like Cedric who?

But none of them compare to (long list of titles, I'll research later.) Harriet James Potter.

[greenerteacups]

forever grateful to you for sharing your musings, as if the book writing weren't great enough and hard work enough, you truly spoil us and i love you.

I'm popping in here to ask if you would like to talk about how you see Dumbledore. Sometimes I feel his manipulative side is abused in fanfiction, depicting little more than a heartless chess master.

And well, I guess I'm curious to find out if Lionheart Albus has a heart and will we get to see it. Maybe the more generous glimpses you give us of Snape and his interactions with him will shed some light on his hidden depths? Or will his appearances remain fleeting and enigmatic, always far and above all the little people we do know and adore?

Sorry, I know you can't possibly be completely balanced in your portraying of the whole cast, or they would spread too thin. I am here for the plot, for the Dramione and the Blacks, but I deeply enjoy all the character building (I truly live for all of them, not only our loved ones, I even cherish Warrington with sincere hate and am waiting for his comeuppance ) so I thought I would ask if you wouldn't mind a few comments on our opaque headmaster.

Thank you, friend! You're really kind.

Dumbledore has a relatively minor role in Lionheart for a few reasons — chief among which is, as you point out, that we just don't have time for everybody to get the same level of characterization the mains do. I have plot justifications for that, but it'd be disingenuous to suggest otherwise: Dumbledore's minor because I'm less interested in him than I am in Snape and Narcissa, and Lionheart is much more about Draco's sphere of the world than Harry's. That being said, I think some people forget how small Dumbledore's role is in the original books. He pretty much exists to deliver exposition and tell Harry how to beat the final boss; dude doesn't even get a gesture at a backstory until he's already dead. In fact, it's kinda weird to me that everyone (including a lot of people in the series) treats Dumbledore like he's some kind of guardian for Harry, especially with respect to the decision to keep him at the Dursleys. I know it's set up in the prologue, but if I'm Dumbledore, and I'm catching strays for Vernon Dursley being a piece of shit, I'm gonna be like:

The TLDR on Dumbledore is he's blamed way too much for stuff he doesn't do instead of the stuff he does. People seem to blame him for everything bad that happens to Harry because he's a competent adult in the general vicinity of the kid. But with the possible exception of hiring Lockhart — a bad decision I attribute to Early Installment Weirdness and, just maybe, a certain scarcity of applicants for a position where the last dude Literally Fucking Died — there's not a whole lot of shit that happens to Harry in the first few books Dumbledore could've prevented. Plus, he does in fact have Other Shit to be Doing. Is he a really powerful wizard who probably could've saved Harry's ass in a lot of the fights he gets into? Yes. Does he also have a whole school to run, a secret guerrilla group to direct, a Ministry full of political enemies to placate, and — oh yeah — a snake-faced immortal evil sorcerer he's playing 4D chess with at all times? Yes!

The whole lamb-to-slaughter thing with Harry is admittedly quite dark, but I don't read it as machiavellian. For one, Dumbledore obviously comes to this conclusion after a lot of deliberation, and to his death, he refuses to tell Harry about it, because (one assumes) he never intends to kill Harry himself. He's willing to hinge the fate of the free world on his respect for Harry's autonomy and/or his faith that Harry will make the "right" choice. That's pretty humane, given the circumstances. And he holds off on telling Harry about the horcruxes because... he doesn't want to inform a literal child that he'll eventually have to kill himself for the war effort. Oh, GOD, what a SCHEMING MONSTER. Surely this is motivated by menace, and not the grieving reluctance of a seasoned veteran who wants to preserve whatever few years of happiness this kid can eke out of life.

The areas where Dumbledore is morally shady come out most in his interactions with other adults. His conversation with Severus in 1981, for instance, is the one time in the books where I was legitimately frightened of him, because it's a rare time he's completely without mercy or grace. "What will you give me in return, Severus?" is a character-defining line, because Snape has just told him that two twenty-somethings and their infant child are about to be murdered, and Dumbledore's hit back with the subtextual equivalent of: "Tough shit. Why is it my problem?" Which is COLD AS FUCK! And we can kind of infer that he's not in earnest here, that he's manipulating Severus by making him think Dumbledore won't protect the Potters (even though they're Order members, which this theory requires us to assume Severus doesn't know) so that he can get him to work as a spy — but we don't know that for certain, right? It's all inference. We hope that his implicit threat isn't genuine, but what would happen if Severus said no, and walked away? How much did Albus understand about Snape's feelings for Lily, and what kind of person does it take to bluff like that in front of a known Legilimens? That line is intimidating as fuck whether or not Albus means it.

It's bits like these, where he's talking to people that he actually dislikes, where we get hints of the real Machiavellian Albus Dumbledore, and it's absolutely fascinating. He's the veteran of two wars, going on three when he dies, and you can tell in how he conducts himself. That includes, by the way, his gentility with children and his respect for innocence. But he's not just Good Funny Grandfather Dude or Crafty Mastermind. He's a general. He's been waging wars from the back lines since his twenties. That does something to your brain, and it doesn't leave a lot of you left over for anything else.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

how would you rewrite both the order and the death eaters to be more competent? and of course what would this likely change for the war - perhaps it lasts longer

The Order is incompetent. Luckily, so are the Death Eaters.

I wouldn't.

The entire universe of Harry Potter would have to change for this to occur. Namely, both Albus Dumbledore and Tom Riddle would have to be different people with different priorities and agendas for this to work.

If Tom has competent Death Eaters, he risks them figuring out he's destroying everything and not just the Muggle-borns. He also doesn't need or want them particularly competent, they just need to be destructive menaces who know how to fear him properly. If Tom wanted actual competence then he'd have to be a very different person who both trusts others to complete a task (he doesn't seem to) and actually want what he says he wants as written on the tin (again, he doesn't seem to, it's part of what he wants but not the full thing).

Dumbledore likes to keep things close to the chest, and both doesn't want people asking him questions or people ever doubting his decisions (see how he handles Harry in Halfblood Prince when Harry asks such questions as "is the power of love actually a thing" or "why do you trust Severus Snape", it was not... good). Dumbledore wants a gaggle of sycophants who cannot function without him, never question his authority or decisions even when it appears he's making strange decisions (again see Halfblood Prince where Lupin notes to Harry, when Harry questions about Snape again, that there are two kinds of people: those who question Dumbledore and use critical thinking and those who do not. Lupin is a proud member of the latter group and Harry should be too), and are, for lack of a better term, the kind of people Dumbledore likes the idea of.

Neither Dumbledore nor Tom would ever go out of their way to recruit anyone with the ability or inclination to question them or God forbid act on their own initiative.

Snape is a weird middle ground where, through various circumstances, he ends up in a position where he can never say "no" to Dumbledore so he gets a backstage pass. As a result, he's told a lot more than any other Order member and trusted with tasks that ah might make them question Dumbledore. He's competent to a point but while Dumbledore makes great use of him, it's mostly because he can. Voldemort makes little use of him and then offhand kills him with a snake because Tom wanted to see if a wand worked.

[nikarie5]

Gryffindor Lions Refuse to Take a Step Backwards

Sirius Black, Remus Lupin Gryffindor Lions Captain and Forward TOPLINE Gryffindor Lions refuse to accept NHL's ban on Pride tape for their sticks. Albus Dumbledore, team owner, says he will personally cover any fines the team receives for their violations of uniform rules relating to diversity and equality theme nights. Past and present team members have offered to cover fines for any players on other teams who also visibly show their support on ice. Main Article We, and our whole Lions organization, categorically refuse to comply with the "guidelines" outlined in the NHL's memo sent out to all teams last night dictating what gear and uniforms can be worn on the ice for themed events. We will continue to use Pride tape in regular games and at our Pride Night, as will many of our teammates. We are grateful for the support from Lion's owner Albus Dumbledore, who reached out to Coach Weasley and the rest of the team to tell us that he would personally cover any fines we received for uniform violations relating to diversity and equality events this season. We have established a fund to cover any fines received by players on other teams who also continue to show their support with Pride tape or other uniform "violations". Any players wanting to contribute to the fund can reach out to us or the #Hockey4All foundation.

The NHL is taking a step backwards with their decision to ban visible on-ice support for diversity and equality initiatives. We can't support that. We have been open about our disappointment with the league's announcement last June to ban commemorative jerseys, and strongly condemn this latest attack by the league on the rights of players. We also want to take this opportunity to express our disappointment in the league's reinstatement of Arsenius Malfoy as assistant coach to the Slytherin Snakes. [Editorial note: Mr. Malfoy was proven to be responsible for the pictures which outed Mr. Black and Mr. Lupin in January 2020, and received a $50,000 fine and a one-year suspension from the league.] The outpouring of support we received from players, coaches, and fans following our outing has been greater than we ever imagined. I (Sirius) can't express how much it meant to see fellow players showing their support with Pride tape at the All-Star game the morning after I was outed. (Link to All-Star pre-game warm-up) Up until then, I hadn't realized how much support and acceptance there was among players, and that open, visible on-ice support was a turning point for me. I know it was for others too. The argument put forward by Commissioner Bettman and others that players are encouraged to "express themselves off the ice" is bullshit. Our platform comes from what we do on the ice, and on the ice is where we can best express our support for members of the LGBTQ+ community. The tape we use doesn't affect how we play hockey, but it can mean so much to our fans and younger players questioning whether they have a place in hockey. If the league aims to "keep the focus on the game", why are they choosing to take a stand that they know will be more of a "distraction" than the tape that we and many other players have used without any impact on our performance for the past season and a half?

We understand that not all players support us, and we don't think that any player should be forced to use Pride tape or wear a Pride jersey. That is not what we are arguing for - we are arguing for our right to show our support.

[aeternals]

ASTAROTH.

astaroth / astarte

ashton smith

unknown dob

unknown age

los angeles, ca

grey eyes

light brown hair, by ears

6'0"

panromantic pansexual

entrepeneur / greater demon

FAMILY.

siblings: astarte ( sister ) extended: riley gauthier, abaddon

SKILLS.

telekinesis

pyrokinesis

telepathy

illusion

astral travel

enhanced stamina, speed, agility, strength

HISTORY.

Astaroth and his twin sister Astarte were devout in their love of the Almighty. Like the legions of angels around them, they obeyed without question. It wasn’t until the war started with Lucifer that they were able to feel or even convey the betrayal they felt when the humans were created. These small, mortal creatures were given the ability to make their own decisions. Free will, they called it. Because of that, they were adored by the Creator.

In the war, Astarte took a smiting blow that was meant to kill Astaroth. For his sister’s love and sacrifice, he caught her essence before it dissipated back into the ether and shoved it into the form of a giant white snake. They’d been together since their creation and Astaroth couldn’t imagine the rest of eternity without his other half.

Together they fell, deep into the darkest depth the underworld had to offer. With Astarte decorating his neck, Astaroth took control of forty legions of the demonic army. He rose, by Baal’s good graces, to be a Duke of Hell. With that power, he stepped on to the mortal plane. At first, it was to get a better look at the creatures he’d lost so much for. Then, it was for the enjoyment of corrupting their unusually fragile constitutions. To him, humans have no loyalty. They have no self control. Being easily manipulated makes them disgusting in his eyes.

Over the years he gained the nickname *Prince of Sloth* for his preference of filling his victims with self doubt. He can’t admit that he tries doing unto others what has been done to him. The shift in God’s favor caused him to question everything about his creation and he loves the look in a mortal’s eyes when they start to feel the same.

Vipera Albus is a dummy corporation Astaroth established early on and has existed in some form or another over the millenia. It is the shadow that covers everything he touches. One of his most recent ventures is the marketing firm known as Five Points.

VERSES.

tbd

[hpcestfest]

HP Cest Fest: Week 4 ☕️ 📖 🎨

📖 Just The Two Of Us | E | 2.2k Regulus Black/Sirius Black AW: Underage

Over the years, a few members of the family noticed some peculiar aspects of Sirius and Regulus' relationship, but some subjects are simply too complicated to approach. What family doesn’t keep a few skeletons in the cupboard?

📖 A Brother’s Love | E | 8.1k Ginny Weasleys/Bill Weasley/Charlie Weasley

Ginny Weasley has lost touch with more than one person since the war: Harry, Luna, Hermione, and sadly her older brothers Charlie and Bill. So of course, when she hears that they will be visiting for Sunday brunch, Ginny jumps at the opportunity to rush home and be there for when they arrive. What she doesn’t know is that they came early. What will Ginny do when she learns of a secret they’ve been hiding? How will they react to her knowing said secret?

📖 A Swan’s Son (Or, Caring for Bellatrix) | E | 7.6k Bellatrix Black Lestrange/Cygnus Black, Bellatrix Black Lestrange/Sirius Black, Bellatrix Black Lestrange/Andromeda Black Tonks AW: Underage, Rape/Non-con

Cygnus will have a son - even if it means killing his wife and dosing his daughter with arousal and fertility potions until she gives him one. But an inclination towards murder and incest runs in the Black family, and Cygnus isn’t the only one with ideas.

📖 Crossing Family Lines | E | 1.5k Andromeda Black Tonks/Narcissa Black Malfoy

Tonks starts Auror training, and Narcissa receives a visitor.

📖 Kiss You Soft, Hold You Down | E | 8.7k Regulus Black/Sirius Black AW: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con

It begins innocently enough. After he brings Sirius home, he can’t stop thinking about it. He can’t stop worrying. He anxiously paces outside Sirius’s bedroom door for hours, worrying that someone will find his brother here.

📖 Strays of the Night | M | 3.9k Albus Severus Potter/James Sirius Potter

Slipping into a labyrinth of dimly lit alleys, Albus stalked a hooded figure at a steady pace. The alleys smelled of rain and rot and filth, but he focused solely on the scent of his quarry—a cool, strange scent like a sharp blade.

📖 With Pain, Comes Power | E | 15.5k Bellatrix Black Lestrange/Narcissa Black Malfoy/Sirius Black/Regulus Black AW: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Sirius stumbles across something that would change the way he’d feel forever—that would change his life forever. But, how does one deal with a life-changing moment? Well… Bellatrix can be useful for some things.

📖 🎨 The Forked Snake | E | Traditional Art | 11k Regulus Black/Sirius Black/Marlene McKinnon AW: Underage

Sirius could only think of one thing better than watching Reggie take his first witch. And that was them taking her, together. Luckily for the brothers, Sirius knew just the witch insatiable enough to take on a double Black. In fact, it had been her idea to begin with. But what of the consequences?

📖 Sweet, Glorious Madness | E | 1.9k Rabastan Lestrange/Rodolphus Lestrange/Bellatrix Lestrange AW: Rape/Non-con

It's hard to go back to being on the bottom when you've finally had a taste of being on top. But what happens in Azkaban, must stay in Azkaban ... yes?

📖 baby boy, you're killing me | E | 15k Albus Severus Potter/James Sirius Potter AW: Underage

It would be the last summer of both of them being under the same roof, so he looked at Albus' hopeful face and nodded instead. "You have me wrapped around your finger, don't you?" he asked teasingly and Albus smiled back shamelessly. It wasn't a wise decision at all, but he was weak.

📖 Sometimes things happen | M | 39k Albus Severus Potter/James Sirius Potter AW: Underage

Albus has feelings for his brother; what happens when he acts on those feelings?

🎨 ART: Take Care of Draco | T | Digital Art Draco Malfoy/Sirius Black

Post-war (Sirius!Lives) Draco moves in with Sirius. They find comfort in each other.

[ao3feed-snape]

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Snake

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/FjTcXJD

by impavidish

What I wanted to write was a quick one-shot that explored the idea of Harry being the biological son of Voldemort, only Voldemort doesn't know he has a son and is also as evil as ever. Meanwhile, Harry is just a charismatic kid with a snake and ridiculously powerful magic.

It turned into a series rewrite.

Here's book one, I guess.

Features Harry Potter trying to keep his friends from doing crimes, a tired Remus Lupin spontaneously adopting a traumatized child with absurdly magical capabilities, Severus Snape doing the bare minimum which is still somehow more than what Dumbledore is capable of, and Harry's friends' growing exasperation with Harry's terrible decision-making skills.

Words: 7576, Chapters: 4/36, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of Harry Potter's Ever Growing Collection of Family

Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen

Characters: Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Theodore Nott, Ron Weasley, Blaise Zabini, Daphne Greengrass, Neville Longbottom, Draco Malfoy, Remus Lupin, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Poppy Pomfrey, Albus Dumbledore

Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Remus Lupin & Harry Potter

Additional Tags: Harry Potter Has a Pet Snake, Voldemort is Harry Potter's Parent, Remus Lupin Raises Harry Potter, Abusive Dursley Family (Harry Potter), Manipulative Albus Dumbledore, Evil Voldemort (Harry Potter), Fix-It of Sorts, Magically Powerful Harry Potter, Magical Theory (Harry Potter), Hogwarts First Year, BAMF Neville Longbottom, Smart Harry Potter, Smart Ron Weasley, Golden Trio | Hermione Granger & Harry Potter & Ron Weasley Friendship, Slytherin Ron Weasley, Book 1: Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, Series Rewrite, Canon-Typical Violence, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gryffindor & Slytherin Inter-House Friendships, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/FjTcXJD

[trolleybitch]

trolley does nano day 2, aka let’s make the most of this energy while it’s still here! managed 2679 words today - almost exactly the same as yesterday - which is giving me an extremely satisfying headstart compared to the official goal: 

the first 1600 word today were a slog, and i was massively distracted so those bits will probably need a very thorough edit, but motivation was boosted later in the evening (as so often seems to be the case) and i churned out another 900 words in about an hour before bed. i’m also loving the ridiculous spike the past two days has given me on my total word count graph for solstice (for scale, the long flat part is a full month long and covers my complete lack of writing between sept-oct)

most importantly though, i have finished chapter ten which means i have officially hit the halfway point of solstice!! but hey, didn’t you say yesterday that your total wordcount was over 100k? how can you be only halfway through, trolley, i hear you ask. well i’m afraid that here at trolleybitch/staircasescorpius productions we have no chill and if this thing comes in under 200k i will be truly shocked. now i’ve just got to get back into the scorpius pov mindset for chapter 11 and do this whole thing over again tomorrow ✌️

[starlingflight]

The Way Ahead

A/N: Asked @floreatcastellumposts to give me a prompt to get me out of my writer’s block (If anyone else wants to send me a prompt, then please do!). She gave me ‘McGonagall finds out that Harry is an Auror’ and this was the result: 

Minerva sighed as she fell heavily into the chair behind her new desk. Her bones ached from weariness; she took a sip of her tea in order to suppress the yawn threatening to escape her. There was no time for rest. 

The parchment in front of her was so long the end of it snaked off the edge of the desk and trailed onto the rich carpet, the list of chores upon it stretching across the office. 

Minerva took her quill and began searching down the list, ticking off items which had been dealt with. Hagrid had managed to secure the Thestral herd this morning. Minerva tried not to think about how much longer that particular task may have taken if not for the increased number of volunteers who could now see the winged horses roaming the battle-scarred grounds of Hogwarts. 

She scratched her quill across the parchment, and scanned down the rest of the never ending list. The repairs of the castle were taking longer than expected, due in part, to the ancient magic holding much of the structure up. And creating a definitive list of which students would and would not be returning in the Autumn was proving rather difficult. Nobody, it appeared, was quite ready to think about the future just three short weeks after the fall of Voldemort. 

“I’m getting too old for this,” Minerva whispered, lifting her cup to take another sip. 

“Nonsense,” came a voice from behind her. Minerva jumped slightly, having forgotten once again that her new office came with an audience. “I should think there's still a few decades in you yet.” 

She did not bother responding to Albus’ remark, his portrait, it seemed, would be just as taxing as the man himself had been. 

Never mind that his tenure of the school had not started with the most devastating battle Hogwarts had seen in its long history, never mind that she would have to oversee a cohort of students who would be unable to walk the corridors without replaying scenes from said battle, never mind that a vast number of them were dealing with the loss of loved ones to Voldemort's tyranny. 

Minerva was pulled from her morose thoughts by a soft knock on the door. She bit back another sigh, mentally steeling herself for the next in a long line of problems she was sure was about to walk through her door.

“Enter.” 

The door opened slowly, almost tentatively, and a shock of untidy black hair appeared around it. 

“Good evening, Professor,” Harry Potter said politely. “Do you have a moment for me and Neville?” 

Minerva pressed her lips together, attempting to hold back a smile. She doubted there was a single witch or wizard in the country that couldn’t spare a minute for Harry these days. 

“Come in,” she said at once, gesturing to the two chairs in front of the desk as Harry and Neville entered her office. 

It had only been a week since she'd seen the pair of them last at Remus and Nymphadora’s funeral. Neither of them looked any better than they had then. Both of them had dark circles under their eyes as though they’d had trouble sleeping and a staid expression upon their faces which would look out of place on most teenagers. 

It was not their expressions, however, that caught Minerva’s attention, but the matching robes which the two young men were wearing, scarlet with gold fringe and the Ministry crest embossed upon their chests. 

“Am I to assume you’ve come to tell me you won’t be returning to school in September?” Minerva asked, directing a cup of tea to each of them with her wand. 

“We’ve joined the Aurors,” Neville said, though it was rather unnecessary given his attire. “We wanted to come and tell you ourselves.” 

There was a hint of uncertainty in Neville’s voice, his lip trembled slightly and Minerva was forcefully reminded of the young boy who had tripped on his way up to the sorting hat many years ago. 

“Kingsley asked us,” Harry added. “He said it didn’t matter about our N.E.W.Ts because we have real world experience.” 

Harry did not look uncertain in the way that Neville had. Minerva could not remember the last time Harry had looked unsure of himself, though she was sure it had been years ago at this point.

“A characteristically wise decision by our new Minister for Magic,” Minerva said honestly. “I, for one, will rest easier knowing the Auror department is being replenished with such worthy young men.” 

Neville spluttered slightly on the tea he’d been sipping. He lowered his cup to reveal his face had turned the same colour as his robes. Harry frowned down at his shoes, his expression not unlike the one he wore in her class when dealing with a particularly difficult transfiguration problem. 

“Gran’s quite pleased,” Neville said once he’d regained his composure. “She said my mum and dad would be proud.” 

A lump suddenly rose in Minerva’s throat, her hand trembled slightly where it gripped the delicate, china cup. Her thoughts were cast back almost eighteen years. 

It was an unbearably stifling summer day, the muggy sort of weather which made Minerva want to do little more than retreat to her office with her books and a well-aimed cooling charm. Today, however, she had other plans. 

She knocked softly on the door of the remote house the Longbottom’s called home. Only a moment later, the door was opened by a beaming Frank, he gestured for Minerva to enter with an excited hand, pulling her into a hug the moment she stepped over the threshold. 

In the tiny sitting room she found Alice, looking tired but perfectly at peace with the tiny pink bundle clutched tightly to her chest. 

“Neville,” She said softly. “Meet Minerva, one day she’s going to be your head of house.” 

Minerva moved closer, reaching out a finger to stroke Neville’s soft cheek. “He’s beautiful,” she breathed. 

Alice held the baby out to her and Minerva gladly took him, cradling him close and rocking him slightly. His little eyelids fluttered for a moment as he passed over but Neville did little more than yawn before closing them again. 

“He’s going to make a brilliant Auror one day,” Frank said, resting a loving hand on Alice’s shoulder. 

“No,” Alice said sharply, her expression suddenly turning stern. “He’s going to live a life of peace. He’ll be a magizoologist or a teacher, something good.” 

“Well,” Minerva said matter-of-factly. “I think it’s a safe bet he’ll be a Gryffindor and it will be my responsibility to help him figure out the rest.” 

Alice and Frank both smiled at this, looking adoringly at their brand new son. “There’s no one we’d trust more than you, Minerva,” Alice said. 

“Of course, it’s quite a lot of work,” Neville said, pulling Minerva from her reverie. “Lots of exams and training exercises, but the job’s not done yet, is it?” 

Minerva felt her eyebrows rise at this. “And which job might that be?” 

“The Death Eaters,” said Harry harshly. “We haven’t got them all yet.” 

“Some would say you’ve done quite enough,” Minerva said gently. “That you’ve earned a break.” 

Harry shook his head firmly, finally lifting his gaze from the floor to meet Minerva’s. “I don’t need a break.” 

He had always looked so much like James, but at that moment, the spark of determination in his green eyes reminded her unequivocally of Lily. 

The clouds had broken overnight. Thunder and lightning had rent the air; rain had pelted loudly upon the lead-lined windows of Hogwarts and another new life had been brought into the world. 

Minerva had waited until late afternoon to visit the Potter’s cottage, knowing that Black, Lupin and Pettigrew would be anxious to get there first and wanting to give the new family a small amount of breathing room. 

Her fist had barely left the door before it flew open, revealing James Potter. His hair was untidier than she had ever seen it and there was a look of wild joy on his eyes. He picked Minerva up and spun her into the cottage, laughing joyfully as he did so. 

“He’s perfect,” he said. “Looks just like me, he’s going to be a total heartbreaker!” 

“Put me down, Potter!” Minerva cried, trying to sound stern but unable to contain a light chuckle at his antics. 

“Come and see him!” James said, taking Minerva’s arm and pulling her up the stairs until they reached a nursery, painted sky blue and decorated with snitches and quaffles which fluttered around the walls. 

Lily sat in a rocking chair by the window, she looked just as exhausted as Alice had yesterday though it was hard to tell given how serenely she was gazing down at the baby in her arms. 

“We’ve named him Harry,” James said, his tone finally softening in the presence of his newborn son. 

“A lovely name,” Minerva said, leaning over Lily’s shoulder to catch a glimpse of unruly dark hair, so like James’. 

“He’s ever so well behaved,” Lily said proudly. “He’s slept most of the day so far.” 

“Don’t worry,” James added quickly. “I’ll teach him how to get into mischief before he gets to you, Minerva.” 

“That, I don’t doubt,” Minerva agreed. 

“He won’t,” Lilly said. “He’s going to be a good boy. No trouble for this little one.” 

Minerva and James exchanged sceptical looks, but neither dared argue with Lily who had a glint in her eye which Minerva had learned not to disagree with. 

“You’ll be so good, Harry,” Lily said solemnly, staring down at the baby and giving the impression she’d forgotten there was anyone else in the room. “And so loved.” 

 That same glint shone in Harry’s eyes now, as he looked steadily at Minerva. 

“It looks as though the Aurors have gained two superb new additions,” Minerva said evenly. Though her heart felt heavy in her chest. “I can’t say I’m not disappointed not to have you back next year.” 

“You’ll see us around,” Neville said cheerfully, placing his cup back on the desk. “I’m sure Harry will be trailing after Ginny every weekend.” 

Neville jumped slightly as Harry swung out a foot and kicked him in the shin. 

Minerva placed her cup to her lips in order to hide her smile. “I will remind you that I have rules about non-students visiting the grounds, Mr Potter,” she said sternly.

“Of course, Professor,” Harry agreed, a flush working its way across his cheeks. 

Harry placed his empty cup on the desk and Neville stretched as he stood. “Best be off,” he said. “Early start in the morning, we just wanted to pop in and give you the news.” 

They both stood, quickly saying their goodbyes to Minerva as they moved towards the door. 

She took them in their new scarlet robes and wondered, not for the first time, if this was what Alice, Frank, Lily and James would've wanted. 

That they would've been proud of their sons, Minerva had no doubts whatsoever. That they would be pleased with the role she had played in their growing up, she could not be so sure. 

She had been the one to declare that she would make Harry an Auror if it was the last thing she did but, like so many things recently, this did not feel like victory. 

"Take care of yourselves," Minerva said as Neville reached for the doorknob. 

He turned back and grinned at her. Harry gave her a small smile too. "Don't we always?" Neville asked. 

[griffnoir]

i had this idea for a fic that i just wanted to share bc i thought it was neat and i know i will never write it under the cut : regulus black and severus snape, young and not that desperate, team up to defeat voldemort (for better and for worse)

- we are in 79. regulus goes to retrieve the locket, happy to die a sad and heroic death BUT kreacher brings him back to grimmauld place against his orders. he is dying... because of a potion... kreacher knows someone who knows shit about potions... regulus lives au! severus gets kidnapped by a nasty house-elf :/ he def had better sundays but that’s fine: he helps his fellow death-eater bc it’s what one does (everything for the cause!)

- regulus heals. regulus isn’t so happy about it (one cannot even kill oneself in this economy) then the conversation goes: reg : hey do u wanna know something that will get u killed? sev : no. reg : so the dark lord has made this thing called an horcrux... :D sev : T.T fuck why would u say that to me

- severus had doubts(tm) about this death-eater thing. this is the tipping point. so they are here, 18 and 19, one braincell between them, deciding after multiple identity crisis that they will kill the dark lord or die trying (they have better faith in the dying part but that’s ok they have nothing to lose) - they both know too much so this is a sort of race against time reg : i guess we could go to dumbledore sev : lol we are not THAT desperate

- they don’t go to dumbledore ://

- it is very important to me that they can’t fucking stand each other on the best of days. like: severus is severus, the little rat(affectionate) but i always thought of regulus as a mix between sirius and draco, plus whatever u want (this is not a good mix). the guy is pampered, rich, posh and a bloody nuisance of a person (also a dedicated blood supremacist); severus isn’t a Black so for once in his life he is actually the well-adjusted one - this doesn’t augure well for their enterprise

- do they succeed? yes. how? dumb luck. also they have a “they didn’t know it was impossible so they did it” type of thing going on. regulus’ superpower is the fact that he is rich, has connections and that nobody suspects him of anything. severus’ one is pure spite and the hogging of the braincell; they both think they are the brain behind this operation and that they are superior to the other in the ways that count (actually they are both just clowns)

- one of the only thing they share is the ultimate goal of killing voldemort; also, they both have somebody on the other side they don’t want ending up dead, so there is that; moreover they are both stressed out of their minds (the self-medication is strong and it could become a problem)

- they have to juggle their public life, their death-eater life and their hunting horcruxes life. it gets complicated :(

- grey-ish moral decisions are made, but hey! one has to do what one has to do

- how do they find the horcruxes? perhaps with the help of dark magic? through inside knowledge? a bit of both? regulus could know where is the diary/ the cup; if u know what u are looking for, nagini is an obvious answer; the ring can be found with minimal research on tom riddle; the diadem can be a lucky find (one could call it an educated guess lol)

- regulus learns that he can actually stand up for himself without his family weighing in and that his whole worldview is in fact a giant with feet of clay. severus that he can lead his life without idly surfing on the consequences of his bad decisions and can change things for the better by acting on them. that’s great. they are doing great. they are fucking terrified for their lifes.

- they end up begrudgingly respecting each other. are they friends? loaded question. perhaps.

- in this au, severus does also report the prophecy to the dark lord, then panics when the potters are brought up. sev and reg pass the information to the order one way or another and this just speeds up their research

- they kill nagini on the sly: it’s a shitshow of epic proportion, but they get away with it bc uh... who would think them able of such a feat? it’s def an highly-trained task force or something. sad that the snake got in the way though :/ (there is no more horcrux, the dark lord is mortal once more)

- who kills voldemort? neither of them. it would be cool, but no. the obvious choice would rather be dumbledore, and why not, in an impressive duel for the ages. personally i would prefer someone from the order, why not one of the youngsters: sirius? remus (a fucking win for the werewolves if it’s the case)? if we are only in 80, why not a peter who has not yet turned traitor lmao? if it’s one of them it’s just totally anti-climatic

- hell yeah! voldemort is trully, trully dead! the one who killed him is hailed as an hero and everybody lived happily ever after! severus and regulus will never have to speak to each other again!

- no.

- the hunt for the death-eaters begins: names are being dropped left and right. regulus doesn’t even go to trial bc he throws money at his problems; severus is not so lucky and gets rounded up in the most stupid way possible, also he thinks he deserves azkaban bc he did some shady shit and likes the martyr vibes reg, who has outgrown his suicidal tendencies: shit i need to save this punk’s ass since he won’t do it himself

- are regulus and his money enough to exonerate severus? perhaps. living with the morale high ground of having brought down the dark lord could be enough to rebuild a decent life for themselves; would they have closure? in a bittersweet way they could

- if it’s not enough, regulus being THAT desperate, he would go to the biggest bully of the playground aka dumbledore. a dumbledore ready to believe that voldemort would be coming back, until this scrawny (almost) 20 years-old goes “nah, we took care of that for you, you are welcome! also, since the whole wizarding world has a debt for us or something, could u pls bail my colleague? friend? out that would be great” albus : ... what?

- i just want a fun reveal; in the future to have regulus talking to his brother, severus to lily (at least for one good talk, i don’t ask for much), just to have that closure pls :’(

- 10 years later or something rita skeeter digs up the whole convulated story it’s glorious. nobody wants that

i don’t have anything else but it was fun to think about

[hp-nextgen-fest]

2020 HP Next Gen Fest Reveals!

The time has finally come for the 2020 @hp-nextgen-fest reveals! Thank you so very much to everyone who has made this fest such an amazing success! We were incredibly impressed with the overwhelming enthusiasm you all have for our favorite Next Gen characters. Everyone who submitted stories and art, and those who read, reviewed and recced: You guys are amazing!! It's been really great seeing everybody's fantastic creations, and we hope you all enjoyed the fest as much as we did! Without further ado, here's a list of all the amazing participants who worked so hard to create fabulous things for this year's fest!

ART

@miakagrewup drew AcciDental Magic [Rose, Hugo, & Grandparents | General] Hermione and Ron are called away for a case and left without their usual child-minder when Molly falls ill. Hermione’s parents step up to keep Hugo and Rose, in spite of Hermione’s warning that the two little ones have some big issues with accidental magic. The story is told comic book style, with illustrations and voice bubbles.

@eleonorapoe drew Woke up married! [James Sirius/Teddy | General] They get well and truly bladdered at Albus's stag do and wake up in bed together with matching wedding bands...

@mad1492 drew Sunday Practice [James Sirius/Teddy | General] Teddy thought that morning practice on Sunday was going to be something he would soon regret, but things may turn more interesting than expected.

@julcheninred drew Introduction [Albus, Severus, & Albus Severus | General] Albus Severus Potter gets to know the men he's named for by asking them about the experiences, memories, and motives that shaped their lives.

@garmrr drew Eyecandy [James Sirius/Teddy | General] After months of extensive Auror training, Teddy comes with the Potters to the beach. James. Cannot. Stop. Staring. At. Teddy. Shirtless.

FIC

@cassiaratheslytherpuff wrote We Keep Loving Anyway [Albus Severus/Scorpius | Explicit | 7.1k] After Albus finds out Scorpius is part vampire he can’t stop thinking about being bitten. He can’t stop thinking about Scorpius in general, but that’s been the case since he was fifteen. At least, when it comes to Scorpius he’s used to not getting what he wants. He’s happy with what he has, or at least, comfortable. That is until he accidentally asks for it, then it all starts to change.

@polly-darton wrote The perks of Veritaserum [James Sirius/Teddy | Explicit | 5.1k] James drank a long-lasting version of Veritaserum and is miserable and Teddy is having the time of his life. That is, until they’re both having the time of their lives.

@gracerene09 wrote Thunderstruck [Charlie/Teddy | Explicit | 2.6k] There’s not a lot for dragon tamers to do when stuck inside during a storm, but looking at this particular new recruit―well, Charlie can’t help but think of a few ways they could pass the time.

Quentin_threepwood wrote Hair Today, Hair Tomorrow [Albus Severus/Scorpius | Mature | 1.7k] Away on a book tour Albus Severus Malfoy grows a very creepy mustache, much to the horror of his still at home husband Scorpius Malfoy.

vitruvian8008 wrote Mission in Nairn [Draco/Lily Luna | Explicit | 7k] Lily Luna Potter is paired with Draco Malfoy for her first Auror Mission. On their last night, she decides to act on the lingering tension that had been building up between them.

@nerdherderette wrote No Other Alpha But You [Albus Severus/James Sirius | Explicit | 7.1k] Scorpius Malfoy has applied to be Albus' heat partner. There's no way James is letting that happen.

@aneiria-writes wrote The Scorpion King [Albus Severus/Scorpius | Explicit | 3.8k] Scorpius Malfoy, AKA the Scorpion King, has ruled Britain ever since his father turned his sights to conquering Europe. With his right-hand man and most trusted advisor, Albus Potter, Scorpius has a life of elegance and power. But he's had enough of the beautiful women that usually grace his bed. Scorpius has decided he wants something else in bed. Something more. Scorpius Malfoy wants Albus Potter.

@motherofmercury wrote Islands of the Upper Air [Lily Luna/Luna | General | 1.5k] Lily Luna has never liked her namesake, or her strange and sometimes absurd way of looking at the world. But a weekend full of ancient rituals and mountain forests is an eye opener, in more ways than one.

@shipperysails-bookofspells wrote Expecto Patronum!! [James Sirius/Teddy | Mature | 45.7k] James Potter had always known exactly what he wanted; to open a pub of his own, maybe travel the world, and live a simple life with the only man he’d ever loved. For years he waited, quietly determined to help Teddy see what could be between them. But just when everything he’d ever dreamed of was finally within his reach, it was ripped away in an instant. With Teddy missing, and presumed dead, James is left to pick up the pieces. John has no idea what he wants. He doesn’t even know who he is. But when he hears a strikingly familiar voice – on an otherwise ordinary day – he sets out to discover everything he can about the man that occupies his dreams. And Harry, well, Harry just wants to put his failures behind him. Until a series of unexpected events forces him to reexamine a case that he’d given up on solving. With the help of an unexpected ally, he just might find the answers he’s been looking for.

@lovealpenglow wrote lily's potter [Lily Luna/Lysander & Lily Luna/Draco | Mature | 8.3k] "But what if I keep it? What’s the contingency plan there?” She took a seat next to Lily. She spoke slowly, as if she was thinking about it for the first time, too. “Well, I mean, you keep your baby. You raise it. You love it. It goes on to do wonderful things because it’s a Potter.” Lily snorted. “It’s a Potter?” “Why not? I mean it’s just as much you as whoever is the father. Why shouldn’t it be a Potter first?”

@micheleblack wrote Snaked a Claim [Albus Severus/Scorpius | Teen | 1.6k] Everyone knew Albus was gay from age five when he would dramatically swoon every time Goncalo Flores the Quidditch player was mentioned. Twenty years later and Harry still tells the tale - much to Al’s embarrassment.

@ladderofyears wrote And I Fell Heavy (Into Your Arms) [James Sirius/Teddy | Explicit | 9.1k] When James Sirius Potter travels to America for three weeks, the turquoise-haired Healer Teddy Lupin misses his boyfriend very much indeed. Luckily, Teddy has (sexy) floo calls, charmed obsidian pendants and hastily made chastity promises to keep him busy. Based on the following prompt: Absence makes the heart grow fonder... Right? Smutty phone!sex? Longing letters? All up to you!

@veelawings wrote Dirty Duelling [Albus Severus/Draco | Explicit | 6.1k] Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want (Or — fucked up Dirty Dancing with wand fights)

@eleonorapoe wrote Albus’ Private Lesson of Sex Education [Albus Severus/James Sirius/Teddy | Explicit | 4.5k] Albus has some doubts about sex. Luckily he has an older brother, who can initiate him. How does this lesson go? James will be the teacher, Albus his good and obedient student and Teddy will be more than happy to serve them as a learning tool. In which a delicious Teddy sandwich is served.

@faeheyjesper wrote Four Reasons [James Sirius/Teddy | General | 8.1k] There were a couple of things James should've considered more seriously before coming back to work at Hogwarts as the new Flying Instructor. His dad being the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor there, for one. The fact that he hadn't really flown since a career-ending injury had put an abrupt end to his Quidditch fame two years ago, for another. His ridiculous, teenage crush on Teddy Lupin, his friend and Hogwarts' newest Charms professor, perhaps most of all.

@26timesbrighter wrote An Interlude [Lavender/Victoire | Explicit | 4.9k] Victoire is supposed to be chasing a serial killer, not shagging her uncle’s dead ex-girlfriend.

@drarryruinedme7 wrote Mint & Apples [Harry/Teddy | Explicit | 4.3k] Teddy Lupin's not-quite-wolf has chosen Harry Potter as his mate, that's all. He hasn't got a crush on his best friend's father, really. He also definitely isn't obsessed with Harry Potter's scent.

crazyparakiss wrote This is Love [Albus Severus/Scorpius | Explicit | 24.8k] Most of Albus’s bad life decisions can be summed up in a word: James. When he got a shitty tattoo in the Fifth Year—done by some bloke in a dirty flat—well, that was James’s idea. When he got picked up by Aurors for doing hallucinogens—James was the one who’d convinced him to do them at a party. That time they stole the flying motorbike Dad gave to Teddy—James was the one who insisted it was a rite of passage to drive it over London at dawn. Neither Dad nor Teddy was impressed with that explanation. Now, here Albus is living another bad choice that was born of James’s influence.

@gaeilgerua wrote The Balance Between Studying and Relaxing [Rose/Teddy | Explicit | 3.7k] Rose has been studying non-stop for her upcoming barrister exam. With Hermione attending Hugo’s Quidditch trials for moral support and Ron away on business, there’s only one person available to keep an eye on her. And Teddy is only too happy to take the role.

@r00wscribbles wrote The last ones to know [Albus Severus/Scorpius | General | 5.2k] Albus and Scorpius have a very close relationship. Everyone can see it. Perhaps they are the last ones to know jus how close they are.

@ohdrarry wrote You've Got A Second Chance (You Could Go Home) [James Sirius/Teddy | Teen | 16k] “What about James?” James, dear Merlin, not James, not again. His boy, his son, the brightest star in the constellation of Harry’s patchwork family, not him. “I think he’s relapsed.” – They tried this when James was nineteen and Teddy was twenty five. It crashed and burned. Teddy ran away to Finland and James... well Teddy's about to find out what happened to James, now that he's back two years later.

@maraudersaffair wrote Falling for You [James Sirius/Scorpius | General | 1.2k] Scorpius didn't care about Quidditch until he saw James Sirius on a broom.

@diligent-thunder wrote Heart-Shaped Ottoman [Draco/Teddy | Explicit | 6.3k] Draco has had interns before, but none so bothersome as Teddy Lupin.

@whenshereads wrote Living With Our Eyes Half Open [James Sirius & Scorpius | Teen | 5.5k] James didn’t mean to get his brother-in-law kidnapped alongside him that morning, but that is definitely what happened.

@shiftylinguini and @gracerene09 wrote Faim [Albus Severus/Scorpius | Explicit | 9.6k]  "So, this is the city of love!" Scorpius declared, adjusting the straps on his backpack. Albus wrinkled his nose. "City of pigeons, more like," he corrected, stepping around another fat, grey bird Or: Scorbus go to France.

@articcat621 wrote Unexpected [Lily Luna/Pansy | Explicit | 1.2k] Draco and Harry's engagement party brings about an unexpected, but not unwelcome, event.

@fidgetyweirdo wrote Remember to Forget [Albus Severus/James Sirius | Mature| 17.5k] The moment they kissed, James and Albus knew that they'd never be able to live without this -- too in love to walk away. Years later, and well into adulthood, the possible repercussions of their relationship feel very real and very scary. Without the strength to break it off, they're left with a single solution: a company that specializes in erasing and altering memories. Now the only thing left to do, is to say goodbye.

[somegymnast]

I posted 368 times in 2021

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My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Magical Homes

These fics are always full of magical theory and they’re always super interesting to read. The header is just the first thing that popped up when I typed in magical homes and I just couldn’t resist. Hope you enjoy:)

Stately Homes of Wiltshire (waspabi / @waspabi) (E, 57k)

Malfoy Manor has mould, dry rot and an infestation of unusually historical poltergeists. Harry Potter is on the case.

Coffee, Cakes and Doorknob Snakes (Omi_Ohmy) (E, 40k)

Harry's house is trying to kill him, and only one person can help him: pity it's Draco Malfoy

A Different Kind of Meaning (p1013 / @p1013) (E, 17k)

The ceiling doesn't hold any answers, but there are cobwebs scattered across the corners with shadows tangled in their threads. The rug against his back is rough and scratchy, threadbare and devoid of colours other than various shades of brown. Harry takes it all in, absorbs the dingy and depressed state of his home. There's a pointed moment of decision, a note about to be played, a silence about to end, and then he rolls to his feet and sets to cleaning.

It's the first constructive thing he's done in years.

The Claiming of Grimmauld Place (bixgirl1 / @bixgirl1) (E, 74k)

When Grimmauld Place begins fighting against Harry’s ownership of it, he decides he needs help to train the historic home — but little does he expect that it’ll be Malfoy who’s most suitable for the challenge. However, as Malfoy and Harry get closer, Harry comes to understand that expectations aren’t always the best path by which to guide his heart — and in the process learns just what is needed to make a house a home.

Home (gnarf / @gnarf) (T, 29k)

When Harry was forced to leave his house because he couldn't take the things happening there any longer, he realised he'd need to ask for help from the best curse breaker the Ministry had to offer—Draco sodding Malfoy.

He knew it wouldn't be easy, but nothing could have prepared him for what happened after he finally jumped over his own shadow.

A story about an unsolved mystery, a few minor accidents, and finally finding a home.

165 notes • Posted 2021-08-08 13:01:03 GMT

#4

Kid Fic

The dynamic in these fics is so different since it is not only about Harry and Draco and they usually so much softer and a different kind of angst than in other tropes. Hope you enjoy:)

Like a Real Family (Queenie_Mab / @mab-speaks) (E, 10k)

Harry thought he had all he wanted in life, raising Teddy and being the parent he's always wanted to be, until he experiences what life with a partner could be like. Now if only Draco wasn't straight.

Right Romantic Setting (letsdothepanic) (E, 6k)

On the twelfth day of their romantic relationship, Draco and Harry take Albus, Scorpius and Rose on a weekend trip to Muggle London that Ron and Hermione were supposed to lead. At the fully-booked hotel where they'll be staying for the night, they're surprised to discover that their rather plain room has only one bed. It's definitely not the right romantic setting for their first night together but, as Draco comes to realise, there's good in taking things slow.

Rock-a-bye Sweet Baby James (femmequixotic / @femmequixotic, noeon / @noeeon) (E, 28k) *mpreg*

Harry Potter knew that having a baby by himself would be difficult, but when his son's other father arrives on his doorstep, furious and upset at not being told about Harry's pregnancy, Harry's already messy life becomes a thousand times more complicated.

Harry Potter’s biggest fan (gnarf / @gnarf) (-, 9k)

Ever since Scorpius heard about Harry Potter for the first time from one of his friends, one could say that he was his biggest fan.

So naturally, it would be the thing he needs to talk about while visiting his grandparents for Sunday dinner.

Draco's father could not hold back the comments on why he had to go through this again, and Scorpius understood just enough to know that his father actually knew Harry Potter in person. That's when the pestering started.

Not much later and Draco found himself face to face with Potter, all thanks to his son.

Play Dates (bixgirl1 / @bixgirl1) (E, 7k)

Harry never thought seeing Malfoy as a dad would affect him this way.

169 notes • Posted 2021-07-11 13:01:04 GMT

#3

Veela

I love creature fics and Harry or Draco having to come to terms with the changes going on in their life. Hope you enjoy:)

Veela Draco

Soup-pocalypse and The Great Curry Cataclysm (SquadOfCats) (E, 104k)

Eleven years after the war, Draco Malfoy leads a quiet, boring, and perfectly respectable life, thanks very much. Or, at least he does, until a sudden and very unexpected veela awakening causes him to throw soup all over Harry Potter in the middle of the Ministry cafeteria.

The Care and Management of Volatile Veelas (dracogotgame / @dracogotgame) (E, 12k)

Harry adopts a Veela. He really didn’t mean to.

Bitter Transmutation: Cruel Transformation (DorthyAnn / @dorthyanndrarry) (M, 103k)

The terms of Draco’s probation require him to finish his final year of schooling, he just wants to survive with what little dignity he has left, in face of students that hate him, falling behind on his school work, and all the strange fevers and weakness and changes… that only seem to be getting worse.

Too Cold Outside (For Angels to Fly) (gracerene / @gracerene09) (E, 25k)

The Auror Department and the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures are working to create a new division partnering human wizards and Magical Beings in order to more effectively police crime involving any and all classifications of Magical Creature. Auror Harry Potter jumps at the chance to join the pilot programme, but he starts to regret his rashness when he discovers who he's to be partnered with: Draco Malfoy.

Veela Harry

Two weeks (shiftylinguini / @shiftylinguini) (E, 21k)

If Harry had to guess which out of he or his Auror Partner, and tentative new friend, Draco Malfoy, would turn out to have Veela ancestry, his answer would be: neither, because that is ridiculous. Finding out the answer is actually him, and that his Veela heritage is wreaking havoc on his ability to work, sleep, and above all be in the same room as Malfoy, is a surprise to say the least. But this is fine. Harry’s been through worse, and he can just sit this one out, regardless of how much his body is screaming for the one person he doesn’t want to ask for help. Can’t he?

173 notes • Posted 2021-06-06 13:01:19 GMT

#2

Hogwarts Eight Year (part 3)

More, more, more eight year fics!! I just love them so much. Hope you enjoy:)

Helix (Saras_girl) (E, 92k)

Seven months after the end of the war, Harry is feeling lost. Fortunately, he is about to be offered an unexpected and sparkling chance to find himself again.

Seven Steps (DorthyAnn / @dorthyanndrarry) (E, 134k)

It started with just seven steps to try and win Potter's affection, but life and relationships are rarely as easy as a checklist on a piece of parchment.

The Romantic Prawn Who Loved Christmas (bixgirl1 / @bixgirl1) (E, 39k)

When Draco, forced into sharing a room with Potter for the year, finds out that Potter has a sleepwalking problem, he expects the odd conversations and the weird games of chess.

What comes as a complete shock are Potter's other activities...And why he seems so intent on having Draco join him.

You cannot save people, you can only love them (heyitsamorette) (E, 51k)

Upon returning for Eighth Year, there are so many strange things going on with Malfoy, Harry doesn’t know where to start. He won’t talk to Harry, but he’s talking to ghosts. He won’t apologize for his past, but the Black Family tapestry has crossed him off its tree. And the worst of it all, he still has that infuriating, snotty mouth on him that gets Harry’s dick hard as a rock drives Harry insane.

Sex and the Art of Castle Maintenance (birdsofshore) (E, 14k)

"Come on, boys," Zabini drawled. "You’re only delaying the inevitable."

Trouble always had a way of finding Harry, and eighth year was obviously going to be no exception.

197 notes • Posted 2021-09-19 13:02:18 GMT

#1

Party Games

These fics are always so much fun! Hope you enjoy:)

Tell the Truth (MarchnoGirl / @drarryruinedme7) (E, 16k)

Harry and Malfoy share more than a secret.

Or, as one brilliant bookmarker wrote: Truth or Dare leads to Truth and Smut.

Games Night (agentmoppet) (E, 6k)

Harry has no idea why Hermione decided that an inter-house Games Night would be a good idea, but he’s here now, and he intends to beat Malfoy, no matter what game he chooses. But, who would have thought muggle games could be full of so much... tension?

One Night at the Leaky (birdsofshore) (T, 12k)

Harry should have known better than to accept a drunken dare. Especially when Malfoy was sitting right there, looking like that and wearing those bloody tight trousers.

Gryffindors Never Kiss and Tell (FeelsForBreakfast) (E, 9k)

The gang realizes that everyone has kissed Harry except Draco. Draco proceeds to do a terrible job of pretending he doesn’t want to kiss him too.

Right Hand Red (lq_traintracks / @lqtraintracks) (E, 73k)

Harry felt Malfoy's breath on his lips as they came together over the bottle, hands firmly planted on the floor as though they each needed their familiar soil, refusing to cross into enemy territory.

Except that Malfoy no longer felt like his enemy.

Malfoy felt inevitable.

237 notes • Posted 2021-08-01 13:12:50 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[twoidiotwriters1]

Young Blood -(PB/WITS Crossover)

A/N: Here’s our surprise uwu we’re tagging people from both series and we hope you guys enjoy our fluffy, ‘Voldemort never existed/Lupin isn’t a werewolf’ au -Val & Danny

Words: 6,158

Twoidiots Masterlist // Next Chapter

September 1st, 1971

The train is about to leave. Sirius and Percy finish their goodbyes and hop on the train, both searching for an empty compartment.

“Percy, here,” says the boy, opening one. The girl walks closer but soon realizes it’s not exactly empty.

“Hi,” Sirius says, “can we sit here? All the others are taken...”

“Sure.”

Both kids sit in front of the other boys.

“I’m James, James Potter,” says the kid in glasses.

“I’m Remus Lupin,” The boy in the middle waves awkwardly, he has a small scar on the bridge of his nose. 

“I’m Matthew,” A boy with chestnut hair and clear blue eyes smiles at them, he’s seated at the opposite corner. Persephone can’t help but think that he’s really sweet-looking. Very cute.

“I’m Sirius Black, and this is Percy,” Sirius responds, the girl smiles politely. She looks around and feels a bit awkward being surrounded by a bunch of boys.  

“Is your name really Percy?” asks James. She laughs and shakes her head.

“It’s short for Persephone.”

“Cool,” He gives her a lopsided grin.

For the next five minutes the group divides into tiny conversations, James and Sirius animatedly talk about what they’d do at school, Sirius can’t help but get excited about not being under the gaze of his mum and James has tons of fun ideas. 

Meanwhile, Persephone, Remus and Matthew share the joy of being able to learn everything that the books are promising. They couldn’t wait to start the school year.  

Suddenly the compartment door opens at once and a little girl with thick, auburn hair steps in.

“I know you!” She exclaims, looking directly at Matthew. “You’re Albus Dumbledore’s son!”

The group looks at her in surprise, staying deadly silent.

“Er...” Matthew blushes lightly, “he’s not my father, he’s my uncle… uh, nice to meet you?”

Persephone nudges Sirius side and whispers excitedly. “You think he could keep us away from detention?”

“You’re already assuming we’ll get in trouble?” He grins.

“Oh, please, I know you’re thinking the same,” She responds.

“Sorry, I knew you’d be here and I was excited to meet you, your family is a legend!” The new girl looks around. “Oh, right. I’m Emily Sultens, and you are..?”

“James Potter, nice to meet you,” The boy shakes her hand and then moves the trunk from the seat in front of him so she can join them.

“I’m Remus.” 

“Sirius,” The boy waves lazily.

“Hi,” The girl stares at Emily curiously. “I’m Percy.”

“I’m Matt— but I guess you knew that already…”

“Yes,” Emily giggles, “the Prophet mentions you all the time.”

“Of course they do!” James exclaims, “He’s the son of the greatest wizard that’s ever existed! Aberforth Dumbledore: the guy that turns people into goats…”

“Actually,” Remus spoke up, “that title belongs to Merlin. Uhm, the one about the greatest wizard, not the goats.”

“Yes!” Sirius threw a fist in the air, “you’ll be the witty one of our group.”

The boy hugs Remus so fast he accidentally drops his books. Matt picks them and places them on top of a trunk.

“Don’t be clingy, Sirius!” Percy scolds.

“Don’t be jealous, Percy, I’m just being friendly,” He teases.

“You’re being annoying,” She rolls her eyes. “Stop it.”

“Thanks, Percy,” Remus grunted, pushing Sirius away. “Thanks, Matt.”

“No problem,” Matthew smiles.

Emily sits comfortably next to Percy and quickly starts talking to her. 

“You guys knew each other?” She asks.

“No, I only knew this idiot,” Percy kicks Sirius’ leg softly. “Are you a first-year too?”

“Yes! I’m excited, my dad told me thousands of cool stories about Hogwarts…”

“What house do you want to be sorted in?”

“Oh, I don’t know much about the houses,” Emily tilts her head. 

“It’s really simple, you know there are four houses?” Emily nods, Percy continues. “Well, it’s really common to be sorted into the same house as your family, I’m the youngest, and all my siblings had been in Slytherin, so it’s very likely that I’ll be one as well—”

“Slytherin?”James makes a face of disgust. “What’s your Lastname?”

Percy frowns a bit. “Singh.”

James’ face changes into a more tense expression. “Oh… okay.”

“What’s wrong with my name?” She questions.

“Nothing! Nothing…” Then he adds in a not-so-discrete whisper, “apart from the fact that they’re all ugly snakes.”

Percy gasps loudly, the boys stare at them not knowing what to answer while Emily appears to be slightly confused. Sirius is ready to defend his friend, but Matthew intervenes faster.

“I don’t think Slytherins are bad,” He says. “I assume your whole family was in Gryffindor, right James?”

The boy puffs out his chest defiantly. “Yeah, so?”

“So that explains why you’re so judgy,” Emily says brightly, happy to be able to participate.

“I was just saying!”

The conversation is interrupted by a girl with bright, red hair and a quiet boy, both occupying the last seats available in the compartment. James insists on continuing the argument and the new boy (who introduced himself as Severus) argues back in support of Slytherin. 

They’re both really annoying, the three girls share a look of exasperation and the redhead (who said her name was Lily) decides to put a stop to it.

“This is really stupid, neither of you even know if you’ll be sorted into those houses! You could be Ravenclaws for all you know!”

“No way, I’m obviously Gryffindor!” James argues. “Only brainys are sorted into Ravenclaw...”

“Okay then, you’re obviously not a Ravenclaw,” Lily remarks.

“Exactly!” James blushes when he realizes his mistake. “No, wait—”

“You have an ill opinion of every house except for Gryffindor,” Emily points out.

“Because Gryffindor is the best house!”

“Why are you arguing about it with her anyway? She’s a muggle-born,” Sirius states matter-of-factly. “She doesn’t know what she’s saying.”

Lily loses all colour as she glares at the dark-haired boy. 

“You know what? I won’t waste my time arguing with spoiled prats. Let’s go, Severus,” Lily stands up, Emily and Percy share a look of shock and amusement, both girls immediately knowing they have to befriend this girl.

“See you, Snivellus!” Sirius says out loud as the pair leave the room. Persephone punches his arm. “Ouch! What was that for?”

“You idiot,” She scowls. 

September 1973

“I’m telling you guys, this is the year, I can feel it.”

“Sure thing, Matty,” James snorts. “I don’t understand why is it so hard for you, Emily spends half of her time with us and you still get all anxious around her…”

“I could ask you the same about Lily,” Remus mentions casually. 

“It’s just that she’s always talking with the girls and I can’t ever speak to her without the others watching me!” Matthew huffs. “But I’ve had enough, this year is the year Emily and I become best friends.”

“But you don’t want to be just her friend,” Sirius smirks. “You want to date her.”

“I have to start somewhere…” He mumbles.

“Here’s a different idea,” Sirius puts an arm around his shoulders and pulls him in for a hug, he continues in a whisper, “why don’t you try and flirt with other girls to see if she gets jealous?”

“That’s a stupid idea,” Remus responds. 

“You’re stupid,” Sirius frowns. “And I was talking to Matthew. What do you say, Matt?”

The young Dumbledore looks at the boy and shrugs. 

“Dunno, I don’t want to give her the wrong impression…”

“She already has the wrong impression,” James rolls his eyes. “She thinks you don’t like her!”

“How d’you know?” 

“I heard her talking with Percy the other day while we were on our way to potions, she thinks you can’t stand her and that’s why you always hide from her.”

“No!” Matthew’s eyes widened. “I’m an idiot!”

“Listen to me, Matt,” Sirius insists, squeezing his shoulders. “If you flirt with others then you’ll be more interesting to her, if not, well, you’ll have a bunch of girls chasing you around, it’s a win-win!”

“And how’s that working for you?” Remus questions.

“What do you mean?” Sirius frowns.

“Uh— oh, nevermind,” The boy retorts, hiding behind the book he’s currently reading.

“Well,” Matthew shifts on his seat. “It’s not a terrible idea, is it?”

James shrugs silently, shoving half a sandwich in his mouth.  “Can’ be ‘at ‘ard.”

Matthew rolls his eyes, but he’s finally made a decision. 

“I’ll do it.”

“Cool,” Sirius smirks. 

“How should I start?”

“I have no idea, mate,” Sirius replies, patting his back harshly. “Good luck!”

“Girls,” Emily sat down between them, looking over her shoulder at the group of boys a few feet behind. “Is it me, or is Matthew Dumbledore acting really weird lately?”

“Weird how?” Percy asked.

“I saw him flirt with a fifth-year prefect the other day,” Emily said, her brows furrowed. “He actually convinced her not to send him to detention!”

“I haven’t seen much of him lately,” Lily shrugged. “I’ve been trying to stay away from that lot this year, Potter is driving me crazy—”

“Here we go again...” Percy fell back on the grass with a heavy sigh, Lily ignored her.

“He stole my bag the other day! I had to chase him around! He’s such a child, I don’t understand how Matthew and Remus are his friends...”

“Matthew’s no saint either,” Emily said. “He helped them escape from McGonagall, apparently now he loves pranks as much as Sirius and James…”

“Well, we always knew there had to be a reason why they were such good friends,” Percy replied sitting up a bit.

“...And I saw him sneak a rat’s tail in Dorcas’ drink last Monday, the poor thing screamed so loud!” Lily continued without really listening to the girls.

“I used to think he didn’t like me because I’m usually the one who pranks others with Sirius and James,” Emily was also talking to herself at this point. “I thought he considered me childish and that was why he didn’t want anything to do with me…”

“Mmhmm,” Percy grabbed her hat and covered her face with it, deciding to take a short nap while her two friends continued their rambling.

“—Don’t even get me started on how he treats Severus! He’s always trying to humiliate him and he thinks he’s being funny while doing so—”

“Severus is an idiot most of the time, though,” Emily retorted, briefly coming back to the present. “Even Remus can’t stand him.”

“They never offer him the chance to be better!” Lily argued. “He’s a really sweet boy once you get to meet him, you know?”

“Matthew’s a sweet boy, right? Did I had the wrong impression all this time? Is that why he hates me? I dunno, I don’t find him as fun to be around as I used to...”

“Dear Merlin!” Percy sat up in exasperation. “Emily, if you’re so eager to get to know him better just go and talk, you never shut up anyway— Lily, I’m seriously considering to arrange a date so you and James can shut up about each other.”

 Both girls stared at her in shock, Emily blushed in embarrassment while Lily got red with anger.

“I hate James Potter!” She rummaged through her bag and pulled out her charms book. “Look at what he did to my book! He’s an animal!”

“I don’t need to know Matthew better, he’s clearly becoming Sirius and James’ triplet, that’s all I need to know,” Emily huffed.

“Very well,” Percy rolls her eyes. “Whatever you say — Can we talk about something else now?”

“Okay,” Emily mumbles. “About what?”

“I have no idea,” Percy mutters.

“Afternoon, girls,” Matthew approaches blithely, Percy lets out the faintest groan. “Is this books yours? I found it outside Slughorn’s classroom and I’ve been trying to find its owner…”

“No,” Percy replies without even looking at it.

“I don’t think so,” Matthew seems to have his full attention on her and Emily honestly can’t look away. “Are you sure it doesn’t have any initials on it? No names?”

“No... It looks rather new, that’s why I’m trying to return it, I don’t think the student would like to buy twice the same thing?”

This is the longest he’s ever talked to her without stammering, Emily takes it as a good sign. Maybe he doesn’t hate her after all, perhaps he’s just too much like he’s father, a bit shy, maybe even a bit grumpy…

“I could help you if you want?” 

“W-What?” Matthew’s eyes widened, he wasn’t expecting that. He looks down to the book in his hand and swears internally. If she sees the book is James’ then she’ll think he’s an idiot. He can’t let her do that!

“Matt!” One of his classmates from Ancient Runes walks up to him, a black girl with beautiful eyes. “Hi! I was on my way to get something to eat, want to join me?”

Matthew immediately adopts his charming smile. He fixes his tie and nods.

“Sure thing!” He looks back at Emily and nods. “Maybe we can look around later?”

Emily doesn’t know why she’s so frustrated, she wanted to spend time with him. She’s been trying to be his friend for two years and every time she gets close something always happens! It’s exasperating.

Matthew leaves her there and both, Percy and Lily stare at her with knowing grins. She refuses to meet their gazes.

“You’re such an idiot, Sirius, why did you tell Matthew to flirt around?” Percy slaps the back of his head. “Emily’s getting so many mixed signals!”

“I thought it would catch her eye!” He grunts, rubbing his neck. “Merlin, you have a heavy hand…”

“You deserve that for being such a fool, why does your solution always involve flirting with other people?” She rolls her eyes.

“It was the first thing that came to mind!”

“It’s the only thing you do lately,” She grumbled.

“I think you’re overreacting. It’s not a big deal, not like you fancy her, do you?” He raises a brow, Percy hits him again. 

“I don’t like her, but I don’t think it’s fair to play with other people’s feelings,” She sighs and closes her eyes in distress. “Anyway, now we have to fix it! This is the plan— I’ll sit with you during charms. That way Lily and Emily will have an empty seat and Matthew won’t have another choice but to sit with them!”

 “He’s a coward, he won’t do it.”

“A galleon says he will,” Remus adds. 

“Deal,” reply Sirius.

When Emily walks into the classroom she finds the strangest scene in front of her.

Percy is seated next to James, Remus and Sirius, who looks strangely grumpy. Across the room, Lily, Jenna and Matthew are sharing a table, and the only free spot is right next to the boy.

Unsure of what’s happening, Emily sits down next to the young Dumbledore trying to look as casual as possible. She smiles at him and Matthew smiles back. She really likes his smile. 

“Did you find the owner?” 

“What — Oh, yeah!” He chuckles. “It was one of James’ pranks— I guess he ran out of smart ideas. You look pretty today.”

“Oh,” Emily’s voice comes out slightly high-pitched. “You look pretty too. I mean— Handsome. Yes. Well pretty is also acceptable, isn’t it? I’ve never understood why boys don’t like to be called pretty—”

“You can call me pretty,” He says immediately, behind him Lily bursts into a fit of silent giggles. “I mean, whatever you prefer, I don’t mind. I don’t hate you —”

“You don’t?” She asks in relief. “That’s great! Does that mean we can be friends?”

“Let’s be best friends!”

“I would love that!”

“Our first visit to Hogsmeade is next week,” He continues, encouraged by her excitement. “Would you like to have a butterbeer with me then?”

“Yes!”

Sirius, Remus, James and Percy stare at them in incredulity.

“Dear Merlin, I think we’ve created a monster,” Sirius gulps. “Look at how fast their mouths move!”

“Lily’s going to pee her pants if she doesn’t calm herself,” Percy grins.

“I can’t believe I just lost a galleon!” James scoffs.

“I can’t believe it took them almost three whole years to start talking,” Remus snorted. “You two cough up, you owe me a galleon each.”

November 1976

“I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m dying alone.”

A general groan surrounds James when his friends react to his comment. 

“Don’t start this again,” Sirius sighs tiredly. “Being single is the best! Why’re you crying about it?”

“What would you know about being single? You’re practically married to Persephone!” James scoffs.

Sirius guffaws. “What? That’s not true! Who’s Persephone? I don’t know her.”

The dark-haired boy changes his position on the couch awkwardly, next to him Matthew laughs. 

“Don’t listen to him, being in love isn’t so bad, you know?”

“Please, Matt, tell me your secrets,” James implores dramatically. 

“What secrets?” Matthew snorts. “Mate, I haven’t the faintest.”

“What do you mean you haven’t? You’ve been with Mily for two years!”

“Doesn’t mean I know what I’m doing…”

“Sorry, Prongs,” Remus says in amusement. “Looks like you’re on your own.”

“That’s it then, I’m destined to die as a spinster with twenty cats,” He turns to Sirius. “I’ll have to live in your basement.”

“What?” Sirius exclaims. “You’re rich! I thought you were the one who was going to let me live in his basement!”

“I’m not rich, my parents are!” James scoffs. “They’ll kick me out by the time I turn thirty. Mark my words, Sirius, I’ll die alone.”

“C’mon, have faith, James!” Matthew insists. “Listen, why don’t you ask her to join you for a butterbeer next weekend? The last visit to Hogsmeade before our Christmas break, maybe the holiday’s spirit might convince her to be nicer with you?”

“Right, because six years of deep loathing are that easy to forget,” Remus teases. 

“I was just saying,” Matthew shrugs. “Emily reckons Lily is open to try new things…”

“That’s only when it’s her or Percy asking her to try them,” Sirius retorts.

“That’s it!” James claps once in excitement. “Let’s convince Percy to help us! Let’s organize a double date! You ask Percy —”

“Not so fast,” Sirius frowns. “Why would I ask Percy on a date? That’s weird, Lily would know right away what we’re doing.”

James snorted. “No, she wouldn’t.”

“How are you so sure?”

“You’re so up Percy’s arse she won’t think it’s weird if you ask her out. I bet the girls have been expecting this for ages.”

“No, I’m not,” He scoffs, then hesitates. “Am… am I?”

He looks around at the rest of the boys. A general mumble of agreement spreads around them. 

“I wouldn’t say it like that,” Matthew starts politely. “It’s just that you appreciate her a lot.”

“Well, she’s my best friend!”

“Cheesy,” James fakes a cough.

Sirius punches his arm and raises his voice slightly.

“Stop it, you prat!”

“Be honest, Sirius,” Remus leans over. “You’ve never considered dating her? Not even once?”

“No?” He pushes his hair back and shrugs tensely. “Obviously.”

Matthew and James share a look. 

“You definitely dream about dating her,” James declares. 

“James...” Matthew warns him.

“We’ve heard you mumbling her name when you sleep!”

“James,” Matt insists.

“Can I go with you on the honeymoon? I promise to be quiet —”

Sirius stands up abruptly while talking.

“No! You hear me? I won’t do it!”

“I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

Sirius stands in the middle of the snowy path with James anxiously waiting next to him. He’s standing on his tiptoes waiting to catch a glimpse of Lily’s figure, but he hasn’t succeeded yet.

“Oh, please,” James smirks. “You’ll thank me later. Have you thought of any destination for the romantic trip in which you’ll take your fiance?”

“We’re not taking you on our honeymoon!”

“We?” James grins. 

“I— Oh, sod off,” Sirius looks ahead and whimpers. “They’re here.”

Percy waves at them happily, she’s got her arm locked around Lily’s, who looks at James as if he were her personal hell.

“Afternoon, girls,” James greets them cheerily. “You look beautiful, Lily.”

Lily stares at him and scowls, making a brief throaty sound to let him know she heard his compliment.

“Percy,” Sirius squints. “Are you wearing makeup?”

She stammers her reply. “Y-Yes? Is it too much? I’m not used to wearing this stuff, I —”

“You look good,” Sirius replies innocently. “You look pretty — Er, I mean, it looks nice.”

“Oh,” Percy blinks. “Thank you.”

Lily and James stare at them with matching grins, when the pair look at each other James beams, but Lily’s smile vanishes completely. 

“What are we waiting for, then?” She asks grumpily. “Let’s go, I’m freezing.”

The redhead walks past the boys firmly and James follows her right away like a lost puppy. Sirius and Percy look at each other without knowing what to do now.

“We should go too, before Lily kills him,” Sirius offers. 

“Yeah! You’re right, yes…” 

Both teenagers quickly catch up with their friends, ready to forget whatever happened five seconds ago.

“I can’t believe you got me into this, why me?” Lily whines as she watches Persephone wash her hands. 

“Give poor James a chance, Lily,” Percy smiles. “He’s trying so hard to behave!”

“He’s an idiot,” Lily rolls her eyes. “Listen, I’m here because you were clearly dying to go on a date with Sirius, but don’t ask me to flirt with James, I can’t do it.”

Percy grimaces. “I wasn’t dying to date Sirius! I — I just couldn’t bring myself to reject him, it was unexpected, you know? I didn’t know he wanted this...”

It’s a lie, of course. Percy knows this date was James’ idea, but she can’t tell Lily that! 

Although she does wonder why James asked Sirius and her instead of Matthew and Emily, maybe they had to use the excuse of ‘first dates are always awkward so we had to bring our friends along’ and Gryffindor’s golden couple wouldn’t have been helpful considering they would’ve spent the whole day snogging in front of their mates.

In that case, it made sense it was her and Sirius, they had to pretend this was their first date and not James and Lily’s. Mostly because Lily didn’t even want to be there in the first place.

When the girls went back to their seats Percy found a piece of chocolate cake waiting for her on the table. 

“Hey, I didn’t order this,” She says, eyeing the food with interest.

“I did,” replies Sirius casually. “I know it’s your favourite, and I know you get all whiny when you get hungry so I took the liberty to buy you lunch.”

Percy’s chest tightens with affection, she beams at him but briefly catches Lily’s taunting smile and quickly composes herself. 

“That’s nice,” Percy looks around the table, “you guys want anything?”

“I’m not hungry,” James replies happily, he only has eyes for Lily. “What about you, Evans, you want anything? My treat!”

Lily’s face shows a hint of a smile, but she quickly covers it by looking away. 

“No thank you, I can pay for my own stuff.”

James laughs lightheartedly. “What are you saying? Everyone knows girls don’t pay on the first date!”

Lily pales at the statement. 

“That’s ridiculous! Don’t try to mess with me today, James, I’m not in the mood.”

“I’m just trying to be a gentleman!” James frowns. “Why do you always assume I’m trying to upset you?”

“Because everything is always a big joke to you,” Lily huffs. “I’m sorry, but until you grow up I won’t be able to treat you as anything more than a child.”

James stares at her in surprise, then his brows furrow and his eyes turn cold. It’s not a normal look on him, but Sirius has seen him like this before, whenever Snape insults him.

“Fine,” James replies shortly. “I get it — You don’t like me. Brilliant. Why didn’t you say so instead of coming all this way only to insult me?”

“I didn’t want to come! I’m here because Percy asked me to!”

James’ cheeks flush red. 

“Well I’m sorry you got forced to spend your last weekend before Christmas with me! You’re free to go, I’m leaving,” James puts a galleon on the table and stands up, hastily pushing the chair away.

“Mate,” Sirius starts, but James raises a hand to silence him. 

“It’s okay, Sirius,” He smiles at him, but it’s small, and it looks tired. “You can stay if you want, I think… I think I need to be alone.”

Lily watches him leave in shock. Percy speaks to her softly. 

“Lily?”

Her friend lowers her head, and to her surprise, Percy watches as Lily blinks back a few tears. 

“I’ll see you at dinner...”

She stands up as well, leaving the establishment. Percy and Sirius stare at each other.

“Well,” Percy starts. “That was awful.”

“Tell me about it,” Sirius leans back on his chair and runs a hand over his face. “I won’t hear the end of it tonight… James is going to be devastated! And of course, it’ll be my fault, the boys will find a way to blame this on me...”

“I know what you mean,” Percy rolls her eyes. “I don’t know why they always choose me to do this stuff, I’m the one who’s single and not in love! Emily’s the one who’s always talking about Matthew, Lily just needs to vent about her feelings for James and sometimes even Jenna starts acting all lovey when Marlene is near…”

“Matthew’s the same, always with that stupid smile and ogling at Emily, annoying as hell,” Sirius scoffs. “I wish we could go back to being kids when neither of them was drooling over each other…”

The pair delved into different topics as the hours went by, it was just the two of them, but it was the first time in a long while that they truly felt comfortable and at ease. Neither of them was spotted until Sirius entered the boys’ dormitory.

“Hey, you’re back,” Matthew says from his bed. “Where were you? James came back hours ago and he looked like he wanted to set himself on fire…”

“Oh — hi!” Sirius gives a start and quickly hides his face, turning his back to the boy. “I’m okay, I’m not the one who had a bad date — Nor a good date! I didn’t have a date.”

“Okay?” Matthew closes his book. “That’s not what I asked, though.”

“I was around,” Sirius shrugs. “How’s James, then? Where is he?”

“Think he’s gone to the secret passageway behind the old witch to cry his eyes out, people will probably think it’s a very loud ghost or something,” Remus replies from his own bed. “At least that’s what he said, dunno, he wasn’t making sense…”

“The date went bad, that’s what I understood,” Matthew says grimly. “What happened, Sirius?”

“I’m not sure,” He stands there trying to remember, “We were talking, and James wasn’t even acting that childish in my opinion, but Lily was determined to argue with him — in the end, I think James lost his patience and left.”

“He willingly walked away from Lily Evans?” Remus raises a brow. “Does this mean he’s moving on?”

“I wouldn’t call ‘hiding in the hidden passageway to cry’ moving on, would you?” Sirius snorts. “But maybe he will afterwards, who knows…”

“So Lily just stayed with you the whole time?”

“Oh no, she left as well, and she even cried a bit,” His smile fell. “It went downhill very quickly.”

“What did Persephone and you did afterwards, then? Because none of us saw you around?”

Sirius tenses and starts to undress without looking at any of them

“We just talked, I ordered food and we didn’t want to waste it…”

Remus and Matthew chuckle, Sirius looks over his shoulder at them. 

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” Remus smirks. “How was the food?”

“Good, I guess?” He frowns. 

“Did you have fun?” 

“Well, it’s Percy. I always have fun.”

Matthew laughs louder and Sirius grabs a pillow and throws it at him. 

“What are you laughing at?”

“You had a date!”

“No!” He protests. “It wasn’t a real date! James forced us to go —”

“And you stayed after he and Lily left,” Remus continued. “Just the two of you.”

“Did you share the food?” Matthew smirks.

“Well, I only ordered her food so what else were we supposed to do?”

“You could’ve ordered a second plate?” Matthew offers with contained laughter.

“Sod off, you two!” Sirius groans. “It wasn’t a date, okay? We just talked and then — then we came back! Nothing happened!”

“That’s a bit rude,” Remus pouts mockingly. “You gave her food, least she could’ve done was giving you a hug!”

“Not even a goodnight kiss?”

“We didn’t kiss!” Sirius blushed uncontrollably, if it weren’t for the dim illumination of the room, the other two would’ve noticed right away. “Just leave it, will you? I’m going to look for James, if we don’t bring him back he’ll spend the whole night outside...”

“Alright, no need to be so moody,” Matthew replies. “We’re just teasing, you know we don’t actually believe you and Percy want to date…”

Sirius freezes at that. “You don’t?”

“Nah,” Remus shrugs. “Percy’s smarter than that.”

The boy looks even more insulted at that statement. 

The next morning a battered-looking James is having breakfast when Lily Evans approaches carefully. She clears her throat and James looks at her sideways.

“I’m really not in the mood today, Evans, just let me eat in peace…”

“I don’t want to fight,” She replies a bit aggressively. “I mean — I came here to say I’m sorry.”

Remus, Matthew, and James all stop and stare at her. Behind her, Emily, Marlene and Jenna all stand in a circle of unity, encouraging Lily to continue. 

“What I said yesterday was uncalled for and rude,” She takes a deep breath. “You were trying to be friendly and I didn’t give you a chance — Although you have to admit that given your prior attempts to be ‘friendly’ I had the right to be hesitant about you—”

Emily nudges her side and Lily stops abruptly, blushing a little. James takes the opportunity to speak. 

“I want to fix all that,” He says. “I know I was a twat before but I promise I grew out of it — even Matthew says I’m getting better!”

“That’s true I did say that,” Matthew admits. 

“I’m willing to give you a second chance, to be friends,” Lily puts extra emphasis on the last word. “Friends, you hear me? Just that.”

“I’ll take it,” James smiles. “I’m sorry for… well, everything.”

Lily stares at him intently one last time before nodding and walking away from the group of boys, the girls follow her, Emily stays behind just a second to kiss Matthew’s cheek and quickly catches up with the rest.

“Well,” Remus tries to hide a smirk. “That was unexpected.”

“I love her,” James states. “I’m going to marry her one day.”

“Sure, because nothing says friendship more than marriage,” Matthew jokes. 

Sirius and Percy walk up to them just then, laughing quietly as they reach the table, the three boys stare at them and they stop. 

“What?” Percy frowns. “Did we miss something?”

“I think you should ask that to Lily,” Remus taunts. 

“What’s happening?”

“Sirius, my life’s about to change,” He replies dramatically. 

“Congrats,” Sirius smiles at Percy as she leaves, the memory of their first kiss from last night invading his thoughts. “I feel the same way, mate.”

December 1980 

Remus reads the letter Persephone sent him as he waits for his train to reach the station. He can’t help but feel eager at the thought of seeing his friends again after a year and a half without talking in-person to each other.

He’s had a busy life, Remus signed a contract to travel the world and write a book about the different ways the wizarding community deals with dark magic, so far the trip has been wonderful and successful, he’s met thousands of different people and places, but if he’s honest, he’s been homesick for a couple of months, he missed a bunch of important events and he’ll try to make up for it now that he’s on vacation. 

Sometimes he forgets that his friends are all adults now, they have jobs and families. He’s single but he’s never really cared for it, his life is always interesting even without a romantic partner, and it’s not like he’s alone, today is the living proof of that. 

Today he’s going home to meet the new members of his family.

“Remus!” Lily is the first to welcome him in with a big hug. “Oh my god, look at you! So handsome!”

Remus laughs. “Don’t let James hear you say that.”

“Oh, James is too distracted at the moment,” Lily grins. “Ever since July he only has eyes for —”

“Remus!” Persephone enters the room holding a plate with sandwiches and quickly puts them aside as she sees her old friend. “You’re tanned! Where have you been?”

“Everywhere!” Remus smiles. “México was my favourite no doubt, but you have to be careful with the food —”

“Mate!” James walks into the room. “Look at this!”

James holds up a baby with striking green eyes like Lily’s and thick dark hair.

“Dear, Merlin,” Remus drops his trunk in the middle of the living room and stops in front of James. “Is this Harry?”

“Yes,” Lily smiles lovingly. “Harry, this is uncle Remus!”

“Wait!” A voice comes from the hall. “We agreed we would show the babies at the same time, you prat!”

“Sorry, Matty,” James smirks. “Got excited.”

Matthew and Sirius walk into the room, both holding their own children. 

“You really kept yourselves busy while I was gone, didn’t you?” Remus teases. 

“Oh, hush,” Emily is the last to appear, she’s holding a half-empty bottle. “Just shut up and come meet them.”

“This is Mel,” Matthew smiles.

“And this is Perseus,” Sirius’ face glows with pride. “Isn’t he the most handsome baby you’ve ever seen? He’s all his mum.”

“Dunno, Sirius,” James frowns a bit, holding onto his son. “Harry’s cuter.”

The two men start discussing it and Remus laughs, the truth is that the three babies all look the same to him, but he’s too happy about being with his friends again that he doesn’t want to stop their argument. 

“You know, now that you’re here is as good as any other moment,” Emily puts a hand on his shoulder to get his attention. “Matthew and I were wondering if you’d like to be Mel’s godfather?”

Matthew discretely moves away from James and Sirius and gets closer to him. Remus stares at the couple in surprise. 

“Godfather?” He asks. “Are you sure?”

“You’re my best mate, Remus,” Matthew smiles. “I would trust you with my life, and even if it’s unlikely, I’d feel better if I know it’s you who’s going to be looking after my daughter.”

“And you’re okay with this, Mily?” Remus raises a brow.

“Hey, as I see it, the kids will grow up having a famous writer as their uncle, if anything, are you sure you want this?” Emily snorts. “We’re choosing you because you’ll be richer than us in no time, and we’re selfish.”

Remus smiles, he looks down at the baby and his hand reaches out to her. 

“Can I hold her?”

Matthew happily obliges, he carefully gives him the baby and Remus holds her like it’s made of the finest glass. This is the smallest human he’s ever carried, Mel is barely five months old, but she looks at him as if she knew exactly who he was. A tiny hand moves up and gently touches his cheek, almost following the tiny scars Remus has gained during his adventures around the globe. 

Mel is too tiny to look like any of her parents, but for some reason, the thought of her adopting any of his quirks warms his heart. He wants to see all of these kids grow, they’re extensions of his best friends, of course he wants to be their family!

“What d’you say, Mely?” Remus asks quietly. “Do you think I could be a good mentor?”

The baby doesn’t make a sound, just stares at him intently, Remus looks up at her parents and nods. 

“Alright, but just so you know, I’m taking her side in every future argument that she may have with you.”

Sirius and James stop fighting after a while, they’re now showing off their babies to Remus, who has to take turns to hold each one. He loves them dearly already, and he can’t wait to see what kind of people they’ll grow up to be.

Next Chapter —>

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[ronweasleyisourking]

Why I Don’t Find Jokes That Claim “Actually, X wrote Harry Potter” Funny

In the wake of Joanne Rowling yet again being openly transphobic on Twitter, a common joke is going around, and the layout of the joke is basically just “[Insert name] wrote Harry Potter,” and the names have varied from Nobody to Luna Lovegood to Daniel Radcliffe, etcetera, etcetera. But what a lot of people making these jokes don’t seem to understand is that this bigotry is not new, that Rowling’s bigotry is all throughout her books, and that saying someone else wrote these books means you believe they have these bigoted views too. And I don’t really find that funny.

I understand that you might be wondering, “What bigoted views played a part in the Harry Potter books? I don’t remember anything wrong.” That’s okay! I’ll be happy to outline some of the issues of the books. So, that’s what I’ll be talking about in this post:  

Firstly, anti-semetism

English folklore has always been rooted in anti-semetism, their descriptions being based off Jewish stereotypes, and this does not stop with Harry Potter where the goblins are cast as the overprotective bankers of Gringotts, following the stereotype that Jewish people (and Goblins, being based off them) are greedy. This trend also does not stop in the books or original series. Ron Perlman (a Jewish actor) play a half-goblin in the Jewish mafia in the first Fantastic Beasts movie, continuing the questionable and problematic connection between Jewish people and goblins in Harry Potter. 

“But the entire series is supposed to be a parallel to the Holocaust, and the muggleborns (who step into the role of Jewish people in this parallel) are the good guys, how can she be anti-semetic?” Let’s turn again to the Fantastic Beasts movies, that she wrote the screenplays of, specifically to the character of Queenie Goldstein. In December of 2014, Joanne revealed that Anthony Goldstein was a Jewish wizard at Hogwarts and from that we can can reasonably conclude that Tina and Queenie were also Jewish. Which wouldn’t have been a questionable decision if not for the fact that a canon Jewish women (Queenie) ended up joining the side of Gellert Grindelwald (who is supposed to be a parallel to Hitler). What the fuck is up with that?

There’s also an issue with house elves and racism but that is a much bigger issue that would require a lot more of my time and research before I would feel comfortable writing about it, plus it deserves a post of it’s own. 

Secondly, “canon” gay characters

I don’t mind that there weren’t any gay characters in the books, I really don’t. What I do mind is JK Rowling going in after the fact to say that there were gay characters. It’s unnecesary and honestly, she chooses the worst rep. First of all, she revealed Albus Dumbledore as gay in 2007, a character that manipulates things and people to his own benefit throughout the series and leaves a child in an abusive home, despite undoubtingly having the power to protect him. The second character she reveals as gay though is Gellert Grindelwald, who, as I said before is supposed to parallel Hitler, who was the face of the Holocaust and led to the deaths of hundreds of gay and effeminate men during that time. And the fact that she continues to refuses to show it in canon, despite having a whole new movie series about the rivalry between the two only makes it worse.

Another thing that has gone around in the Harry Potter fandom is the fact (or rumor) that Joanne once said in an interview that she considered making Dean and Seamus gay but that it would “take attention” away from the trio but one, I cannot find this interview anywhere, and two, believing that a background gay couple would have taken attention away from the main characters is not great. 

If she wanted gay characters, she should have included them in the texts. Otherwise, I think she needs to stop trying to get brownie points for representation that she didn’t write. 

Thirdly, werewolves

Joanne Rowling released an ebook in September of 2016 where she wrote that werewolves in the books, like Remus, were a metaphor for illnesses that carry a stigma, listing HIV/Aids as an example. This again was a questionable choice, seeing as HIV/Aids is a common problem in the LGBTQ+ community and the other main werewolf in the books, Fenrir Greyback, targeted children which follows the stereotype that gay men are predators.

And finally, these characters

Nagini. While I know that many people believe that this wasn’t actually planned as Joanne said it was, the etymology of her name does trace back to the Naag or Naagin, semi-divine half-human, half-snake creatures from mythology in South Asian cultures, meaning it might have actually been planned. But the problem is not whether it was planned or not, the problem is that Nagini is a woman of color (who is Korean, meaning she is East Asian not South Asian)  cursed to live as an animal who spends the last years of her life as the servant of a white man who is equated with Nazis and whose eventual fate is tied to his. 

Rita Skeeter. Rita is described as having a heavy jaw, thick fingers, and large and masculine hands, and with Joanne being openly transphobic, it’s not hard to make the connection of where she might have gotten the inspiration for this character from, and the fact that she transforms her body to spy on children brings to mind a certain tweet that Rowling liked a while ago that described trans women as “foxes pretending to be hens to get in the hen house.” The idea that trans people are predators who spy on others is a harmful stereotype and this description and characterization of Rita Skeeter does not help.

Cho Chang. Cho Chang is a Chinese character who has two surnames for a name, meaning there was little thought put into her chracter’s name. Honestly, it’s not that hard to find out whether or not “Cho” is a first name, it’s just one quick search away from not being in the wrong. That and the fact that Cho, along with Sue Li and Padma Patil (some of the only Asian characters in the books), were all placed in Ravenclaw, or “the smart house” just shows how little thought that Rowling gave her canonically poc characters. 

Seamus Finnigan. I only recently realized the issues of this character, and it’s likely that most people wouldn’t know why this was a problem, but consider why an English women in the nineties (at the height of The Troubles and the English/Irish conflict) would write the one known Irish character in the books as untrusting of the English (of all of Harry’s friend, Seamus was the one who didn’t believe Harry in book five). Not only that, but in the films (which she was largely involved in) characterized Seamus as clumsy and explosive and a bit of a pyro, which are sterotypical Irish traits, and she didn’t question it at all? 

Conclusion

These are just a few of the issues seen in the Harry Potter books and movies and I didn’t even talk about the issues that are less bigotry and more simply problematic, like Viktor Krum’s character, or the theme of forgiving abusive people in your life, or the constant issue of love potions and consent.

There is so much wrong in the books and we can’t just ignore them or transfer them to another person. Joanne Rowling wrote these books and her bigoted beliefs are abundantly clear in them and we all need to accept that. We can love the worldbuilding and the characters and yes, even the story, but we must recongnize the issues in them and we must realize that a bigoted person wrote it. There is no escaping that. 

And yes, as everyone who I have expressed this two has brought up, the story does belong to the fans. And we can do whatever we wish with it, but we should never forget where the story began and we shouldn’t try and pretend that it had a different origin. Death of the author, or the idea that anybody's interpretation of the text is a valid interpretation, and that the author's interpretation is not the only one that counts, does not mean that the author is literally removed from the text. They still wrote it. And their bias (opinions) are still a huge part of the text. And we can try with all our might to remove their bias from our fanworks but it is still there in the original text. So, yes, the story belongs to fans. But the bias in it belongs to the author and will always be present.

The author of the Harry Potter series is JK Rowling, no matter how bigoted she and her beliefs are. We should never forget that.

[birlwrites]

Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Regulus Black & Sirius Black, Regulus Black & Narcissa Black Malfoy, Marauders & Lily Evans Potter Characters: Regulus Black, Sirius Black, James Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Narcissa Black Malfoy, Bellatrix Black Lestrange, Albus Dumbledore, Severus Snape Additional Tags: Asexual Regulus Black, Regulus Black Lives, Regulus Black-centric, Gryffindor Regulus Black, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Marauders, Fix-It, First War with Voldemort, background jily and wolfstar, i highly dislike jkr but i'm not letting her ruin hp fic for me since it doesn't make her any money, Minor Character Death, Non-Linear Narrative, walburga and orion are v neglectful parents, Canon-Typical Violence, Manipulative Albus Dumbledore, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Some self-harm for blood magic reasons Summary:

Eleven-year-old Regulus Black has decided he is not going to Slytherin.

That decision sparks a chain reaction of Dark Lord-defying proportions.

(In which Regulus is a snake in lion's clothing, but as it turns out, if you hang out with the Marauders enough you find yourself doing some very stupid things in the name of bravery.)

[idrewbedraggledbreaths]

Sorting Daenerys Targaryen and Jorah Mormont with the sortinghatchats system (GoT verse)

I didn’t want to write this post before I finished my Killing Eve sortings (basically Carolyn and Konstantin), but I’m stuck with them, so I decided to revisit an old fandom instead with a new approach. My take here is possibly an outsider’s take, given that I haven’t interacted with this fandom for a while, save for a few close friends I made in it. Now, bear in mind this sorting system IS NOT the original HP system, it is simply based on it. It sorts you into two houses. Your primary is you WHY, your reason to be who you are, what you believe in. Your secondary is your HOW, the way you act and approach life. Below is a little tl;dr of what each of them are (I’m using the animal terminology that’s being used in many blogs, by the way. If you know the houses, you know what each animal is supposed to represent).

Lion primaries are intuitive and guided by their moral compass, which is very strong (doesn’t mean what they believe in is in fact good or correct) and Lion secondaries are the people who charge straight at something, regardless of whether they will come out of it unscathed or not.

Snake primaries value people. Not any person, their people. They will go to hell and earth for their people to be safe and happy, which can get kind of self destructive. Snake secondaries improvise much like Lion secondaries, but they tend to adapt to situation and shapeshift their way out of problems.

Bird primaries also value right and wrong like Lion primaries, but they build their systems with external information and observation, not from their gut feelings. That means Bird primaries change a lot with time, because their ‘rights’ and ‘wrongs’ change. Bird secondaries collect. Skills, tools, random knowledge, they delve deep and acquire as much of them as they can, not because things are useful, but because it’s fun.

Finally, Badger primaries are also people-persons, but their communities are much broader than a Snake primary’s. They value people, tradition, cultures and so (but not every Badger sees everyone as people, so there’s that). Badger secondaries are the hardworking types in the sense that they cultivate things, they invest in them and even become them.

You can develop models of each house according to what you find useful or what society has instilled in you, but when push come to shove, the models aren’t the real you. All of these houses can burn, meaning their essence is somehow scared away from them due to trauma, depression, societal pressures, etc. That means a Lion stops trusting their instincts, a Snake no longer feels like they’re able to protect their people or their people are better off without them, a Bird loses faith in their systems and a Badger closes themselves off from their communities and adopts a smaller circle of people. Burnt houses can look a lot like each other. For more info, check out the tags. 

Daenerys

Double Lion, no doubt (for most of the show). Dany knows what’s right, she feels it in her bones. She never tries to rationalise her decisions and she won’t usually budge, even if she is presented with a more rational plan. None of her advisors have really convinced her to do anything, they might have pushed her to do what they wanted, but if she had her way, Daenerys would only ever listen to her own heart. She needs people around her to help her not make impulsive, brash decisions(because of her Lion secondary that I will get into), but she definitely doesn’t need - and doesn’t want - a moral compass, hers works just fine. She was burned as hell in the first episodes of the first season, mostly because of Viserys’ horrible influence, because he had robbed her of a purpose, of her truth. Drogo also stifles her primary and secondary for a while, but he eventually gives her some space to be herself. When she unburns, she unburns fast. ‘Not a Queen, a Khaleesi’ is pretty much Day gong ‘yeah, I can do things my way, I can be my own person with my own values and my own self.’ I think from there on, her quest to liberate 1) take back the Iron Throne 2) liberate Slaver’s Bay and ‘Break the Wheel’ just show how much she is focused on a big quest that is not explained by reason, by her need to form a community or by the influence of someone in her life. She does it because that’s the Right Thing ™ to do, and that’s Lion primary in a nutshell. Another thing that points towards Lion primary to me is how she just won’t take criticism and specially betrayal well (not that anyone does, but Dany is particularly unforgiving most of the time). Lion primaries are particularly shaken when someone they admire doesn’t have the same moral standards as they do, because deep down they like to think they know what’s ‘good’ and ‘true’ (oops my Snake primary who doesn’t really get Lions is showing), so if you don’t follow them and their beliefs, you must be doing something wrong. This is why Dany is so fucking pissed at Jorah when she finds out he betrayed her. She is also devastated true, and she misses him, but her ideals and her ‘truth’ stop her from seeing things from his side ad from forgiving him until he has proven himself worthy. Her reaction to betrayals tie in to the fact that she is a MASSIVE Lion secondary. She headbutts her way into things and her liberal use of Dracarys is proof of that. That’s not to say she doesn’t think or plan or listen to her advisors, but when push comes to shove, homegirl ACTS. Fuck the consequences, I have three dragons, fucking try me. Don’t tell me that climbing on Drogon in the fighting pits and burning the Khals were calculated decisions. Burning the Lannister army wasn’t a calculated decision. She leaves the planning to the people around her. This is something I struggle with regarding Lions, but I have to admit they are much more prone to seizing opportunities that us Bird secondaries (because I do have a Snake model but it is utter shit). 

Now, in seasons 7 and 8, she starts burning again. She gets to Westeros, where people aren’t flocking to her side like they did in Essos. Daenerys lets herself be swayed by Jon’s pretty little speeches that sound very Lion, sound very true to Daenerys, but guess what? She is fucking betrayed by everyone. The people she loved are killed, her children are killed (and the whole ‘I will take what is mine’ thing indicates that she might have a Snaky primary model, after all, she does some things because of what she claimed as hers, be it people or the Throne), she is left absolutely alone, so she burns, she loses faith in herself, starts doubting her actions and her instincts and no one is there to help her unburn safely, so the way she does it is destructive, as it often is with Lion primaries who don’t have guidance in order to regain their trust  their instincts and their selves. To me, the KL incidence is her primary going ‘You fucking left me behind, you fuckers, now you are going to see that I was right and fuck the consequences’. Her primary takes a turn for the worse with the help of an impulsive secondary and she ends doing anything to reach her end goal, similar to Albus Dumbledore and his disregard for human life as long as Voldemort being defeated is concerned. 

Jorah

I have no doubts whatsoever that Jorah is a Snake primary. I know the fandom likes to sort him into Hufflepuff when using the traditional sorting system and while there’s no doubts he is a loyalist to the bone, Jorah’s loyalties are much narrower than a Badger primary’s would be. Before he meets Daenerys, he wants to go home and make up with his family, because they are the ones who matter. Not his reputation, not the North, not Bear Islad itself, the Mormont House. Before that still, he does literally anything to keep Lynesse happy, including doing things that are against the law. This utter devotion to certain people are what makes him a Snake primery to me, a paricularly self destructive one. He starts worrying about the fact that he berayed Daenerys when he ‘adopts’ her into his circles and more so when she goes from being in his outermost circles to being the one person his Snake primary is attached to. Daeerys is everything to Jorah. Does he persoally care about freeing slaves or generally following her morals? No, he does it because it is importat to her and he wants her to see he is worthy of her attention (I, another Snek, still don’t kow if I like Florence + The Machine so damn much because I liked a girl who was into FATM or if my Bird secondary saw her taste for FATM and went ‘OMG ME TOO LETS TALK ABOUT THAT’ and the primary just said ‘huh, that’s legit. We’ll worship her from now on’, so yeah, us Snakes do that. On a side note, I never worked up the courage to ask her out, though). That’s why he goes batshit when she banishes him. He doesn’t burn, which means his primary is so strong it wasn’t fazed by being ast out of her circles; no, he is hell bent on getting back into her good graces and if he has to sacrifice his life fr that, so be it. 

Now, when it comes to secondary, I’d say Jorah’s a Lion secondary too, even though he has a lot of models he picked up with time. Models are useful, models get you out of bad situations, but they’re not who you really are. Jorah wans to be a Bird secondary when he’s around Daenerys, he wants to be the careful planner who looks ahead and ensures she is successful and he also needs a Snake secondary model, because his life demands that he twists and turns himself to fit different situations, but deep inside he is a Lion. His most honest moments are the moments when he just does it, no thoughts head empty. Did he have a solid plans when he kidnapped Tyrion? Fuck no! Did he truly know what he was doing when he decided to fight in the pits? Fuck no! Did he think before he charged at the wights and saved Daenerys in Winterfell? Fuck no! His head was probably just going ‘my Daenerys is in danger let’s punch first and see what happens later’. He’s not like Littlefinger, who plans everything ad is so fast at analysing and changing plans he looks like a Snake. His models make him seem like the opposite of Dany, like a Bird to a Lion, brains while she is brawn, but when she is in danger, Jorah charges. 

What the Jorleesi shippers do is take Dany’s Lion primary that is so focused on a quest and show her that she can also include people in her big aspirations. The gut feeling that is so characteristic of Lions is already inside her, all she would need is to put it into words, which isn’t necessarily the strongest suits of many Lions (that’s a Bird thing). Since most of their dynamics inevitably lies on Jorah’s models regulating Dany’s secondary, there’s not much point in ‘taming her Lion’. Jorah stays the same. The fandom looooves his Snake/Lion, specially since us Snakes tend to be too hard on ourselves. A self-loathing Snake who is also a stupid brave Lion secondary? Yes. They are both stupid brave. Also just stupid. Just talk, you two, for fuck’s sake. Get over your Lion, Daenerys, and talk to him, his Snake won’t allow him to bother you too much.