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acotars · 1 year

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books read in 2023

january

sweep in peace by ilona andrews

one fell sweep by ilona andrews

a court of mist and fury by sarah j. maas

sweep of the blade by ilona andrews

sweep with me by ilona andrews

my best friend’s exorcism by grady hendrix

kiss her once for me by alison cochrun

the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid

i’m glad my mom died by jennette mccurdy

love and other words by christina lauren

sweep of the heart by ilona andrews

the only living girl on earth by charles yu

witches get stuff done by molly harper

you had me at hola by alexis daria

her vigilante by lillian lark

inconvenient daughter by lauren j. sharkey

anon pls. by deuxmoi

you are eating an orange. you are naked. by sheung-king

legends & lattes by travis baldree

bad vibes only (and other things i bring to the table) by nora mcinerny

signs of cupidity by raven kennedy

bonds of cupidity by raven kennedy

crimes of cupidity by raven kennedy

february

exciting times by naoise dolan

sweethand by n.g. peltier

you made a fool of death with your beauty by akwaeke emezi

something wilder by christina lauren

highly suspicious and unfairly cute by talia hibbert

you deserve each other by sarah hogle

this is how you lose the time war by amal el-mohtar and max goldstone

would you rather by allison ashley

march

meet me in the margins by melissa ferguson

king of battle and blood by scarlett st. clair

the exotic by hampton sides

river of shadows by karina halle

alone with you in the ether by olivie blake

lovelight farms by b.k. borison

the soulmate equation by christina lauren

before i let go by kennedy ryan

haunting adeline by h.d. carlson

the lies i tell by julie clark

one jump at a time by nathan chen

our wives under the sea by julia armfield

all systems red (the murderbot diaries #1) by martha wells

before the coffee gets cold by toshikazu kawaguchi

april

funny you should ask by elissa sussman

make a scene by mimi grace

sweeter than chocolate by lizzie shane

the kiss quotient by helen hoang

my favorite half-night stand by christina lauren

romantic comedy by curtis sittenfeld

icebreaker by a.l. graziadei

the wedding proposal by john swansiger

circling back to you by julie tieu

by the book by amanda sellet

a lady’s guide to mischief and mayhem by manda collins

love in the time of serial killers by alicia thompson

if the shoe fits by julie murphy

whispers of you by catherine cowles

the kiss curse by erin sterling

by the book by jasmine guillory

honey & spice by bolu babalola

one night on the island by josie silver

the bodyguard by katherine center

the reunion by kayla olson

the neighbor favor by kristina forest

crooked kingdom by leigh bardugo

do i know you? by emily wibberley & austin siegemund-broka

just my type by falon ballard

delilah green doesn’t care by ashley herring blake

happy place by emily henry

dating dr. dil by nisha sharma

icebreaker by hannah grace

count your lucky stars by alexandria bellefleur

stone cold fox by rachel koller croft

fake it till you bake it by jamie wesley

may

the dead romantics

motherthing by ainslie hogarth

the woman in the library by sulari gentill

artificial condition (the murderbot diaries #2) by martha wells

the last word by taylor adams

you shouldn’t have come here by jeneva rose

june

fourth wing (the empyrean #1) by rebecca yarros

the very secret society of irregular witches by sangu mandanna

love, theoretically by ali hazelwood

july

the traitor queen (the bridge kingdom #2) by danielle l. jensen

the beast by katee robert

baldur's gate: descent into avernus by by james introcaso et. al

forget me not by julie soto

the wishing game by meg shaffer

august

the true love experiment by christina lauren

pachinko by min jin lee

almond by sohn won-pyung, translated by joosun lee

hook, line, and sinker by tessa bailey

september

hey, u up? (for a serious relationship): how to turn your booty call into your emergency contact by emily axford & brian murphy

everyone knows your mother is a witch by rivka galchen

fangs by sarah andersen

a room with a view by e.m. forster

juniper bean resorts to murder by gracie ruth mitchell

one's company by ashley hutson

the mysterious affair at styles by agatha christie

solita: a gothic romance by vivien rainn

you, again by kate goldbeck

the undertaking of hart and mercy by megan bannen

my roommate is a vampire by jenna levine

the picture of dorian gray by oscar wilde

the vampires of el norte by isabel cañas

her body and other parties by carmen maria machado

evil eye by etaf rum

the seven year slip by ashley poston

october

keeper of enchanted rooms by charlie n. holmberg

the serpent and the wings of night by carissa broadbent

shy by max porter

down comes the night by allison saft

the unfortunate side effects of heartbreak and magic by breanne randall

the hurricane wars by thea guanzon

november

a witch's guide to fake dating a demon by sarah hawley

the wake-up call by beth o'leary

when in rome by sarah adams

the view was exhausting by mikaella clements and onjuli datta

hello stranger by katherine center

practice makes perfect by sarah adams

do your worst by rosie danan

december

bookshops & bonedust by travis baldree

the fake mate by lana ferguson

final count: 127/100

#kate’s reading log #read in 2023*#a little late but i wanted to get this up here !!#i’ll update as i go so if you don’t want to see this just blacklist kate’s reading log :)#we hit character limit so i had to reformat lol

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jjtheresidentbaby · 1 year

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ok hi im the one that sent the teen wolf ask i forgot to specify! id love anything with a baby regressor stiles and maybe a caregiver sheriff stilinksi (he gets so much better throughout the seasons i swear) or caregiver derek! (both as platonic pairings) i hope u like the show ^^!!

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ protector ໒꒱ ⋆ﾟ⊹

|| stiles stilinski x derek hale | read on ao3

a/n: my insistent need to write sterek angst is showing whoops

warnings: Derek finding out about Stiles’ regression for the first time, hurt/comfort, Stiles using regression as a coping mechanism, protective Derek

Derek glances over at Stiles for the fifth time in the past minute, something's off with him, he's bouncing his leg and his heart beats as if he's on edge. It's not an emotion Hale picks up a lot from Stiles, anxious and nervous aren't words Derek would think to describe him at all, he's more energetic and curious than anything.

So it's raising quite a few red flags now. They're at Scott's house, trying to act normal and watch a movie like regular non-supernatural friends do. Lydia and Jackson are laid out on the makeshift bed on the floor next to Alison and Scott, there's a horror comedy going that the pairs seem very interested in. Isaac, Stiles and Derek take up the couch with Stiles in the middle.

Before the shift of Stiles’ behavior he was happily chuckling at the movie, giggling really, another thing Derek has never heard until tonight. Maybe he just hasn't been around Stiles long enough outside the near death experiences they share, Hale can't spend too much time dwelling on it as when a gruesome yet comical death pops up on screen Stiles curls back from the Tv.

He's closer to Derek than Isaac, who must've picked up on Stiles' actions and heartbeat as he keeps looking him over, presumably checking for injuries like Isaac usually does when someones acting off. Derek almost goes to ask Stiles if he's alright but he can't get the words out before Stiles is barreling himself backwards into Derek's chest.

"You okay?" Stiles doesn't say anything in reply but his heart rate has ticked up a significant amount and one of his hands grabs the loose material of Derek's t-shirt like a lifeline.

"Stiles?" He keeps his voice low, even if half the room can hear him if they wanted to no matter what. Stiles lets out a small whine, it twists something in Derek's chest, he suddenly has the urge to wrap Stiles up in a mountain of blankets and never let anything bad or scary come near him.

"Is it the movie?" Another flinch after a bloody scene and the pieces fall together, Derek curls his arm around Stiles to block out the Tv, practically shielding his whole body into Hales chest.

"Wanna leave." It's small, pitchy, unusually young sounding. It's all Derek needs to jump up with a sputtered out excuse about Stiles having a headache and needing a ride home, of course the other wolves sitting around hear how obvious of a lie it is but they thankfully keep their mouths shut.

Getting to Stiles' house takes no time at all, Noah's still at the office so Derek is able to slip them both upstairs without any interruptions. Stiles stays pressed to Hales side the whole time. As close as he can get while still using his legs to walk, or to drag, Derek holds most of Stiles' weight and takes them up the stairs as carefully as he can to not have either of them trip.

"Can you tell me what's going on now?" He tries to sound assuring, attempting to not let any of the worry that Derek can feel building in his gut appear on his face or in his tone.

"I feel- small." Stiles doesn't look up as he says it, squeezing the ball of Derek's shirt he still holds instead, pulling him the littlest bit closer despite the hesitation in his words.

"Small?" A beat passes of silence. Derek isn't sure what to do in this situation, he's never had someone hold onto him like this, clinging onto to him as if begging him not to leave.

His thoughts get pulled back to reality when Stiles leans over his bed, one hand still holding Derek's shirt so it stretches as he reaches with his free arm, retrieving a small book that he places slowly in Derek's lap.

It's clipped down with a small strip of cloth that's definitely needed as the book thickens up quickly when Derek un clasps it. The first few pages are warnings as to not continue reading as this is personal for Stiles, Derek flips past them when Stiles nudges him along, stopping him on a specific page. It's a list of definitions scribbled down in Stiles' handwriting, Derek focuses in on the one that reads 'Little (small)' there's a dash before it explains what an age regressor is, how it's a change in mental state, a coping mechanism.

Oh. Derek's eyes fall to Stiles' state, how curled in on himself he is, how his eyes have a slight gloss of pain to them; Hales heart all but shatters. He quickly pulls Stiles into his chest, pushing them back till they reach Stiles' headboard. He's hoping this is the right move. It feels like it and Stiles hasn't pushed him away yet, so Derek just holds him, taking in deep breaths in hopes that Stiles will naturally relax enough to match the pattern, and rubbing his hand in big circles over Stiles' back for extra comfort.

"The movie, it triggered you?" Stiles nods against Derek's chest, tucking his legs up on top of Hales, looking impossibly tiny as he lays on Derek.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Triggers aren't new to Derek, not in the slightest, but this is the first time he's ever seen something affect Stiles, normally the brunette is great at bouncing back and keeping things together, at least on the surface. But judging by the amount of pages in that book that are filled, this isn't a new feeling for Stiles.

"Stay, don't let the bad things get me." The young sound and vulnerability in Stiles voice is enough to crack Derek's heart open even more. He can't help but tug Stiles in closer, allowing Stiles to wrap his arms around Hales waist as he tucks his nose into Derek's shoulder.

"I'd never let anything get you, never." Hales hand brushes over Stiles' head, rest on the back of his neck a second, allowing himself to indulge in the softness of the moment. Normally Derek wouldn't dream of being this gentle with someone, frankly he's bad at it, but there's something about Stiles and how easily he cuddles into Derek's chest that makes it seem like a no-brainer to return the affection.

"You're a good protector." It's just barely a mumble, Stiles' eyes fluttering shut as he falls asleep.

Derek's pretty sure he doesn't breathe for a solid minute after hearing the words, he pretends like it doesn't make him tear up a bit and instead focuses on holding Stiles as carefully as he can so the little doesn’t wake up and keeping watch of the door. If Stiles doesn’t want anything bad to happen and he trusts Derek to keep sure of that, it’s all he going to do.

#jj writes #teen wolf agere #stiles stilinski #derek hale #little!stiles #caregiver!derek hale #derek x stiles

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djservo · 5 months

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it’s that time of year again… 🎄🎅🎉🎊 no. the highlights of your 2023 media consumption of course! just like last year, i want to know your top 5 films, books, tv shows, songs/albums, pop culture moments if that’s your thing, and as a bonus: any favourite personal moment/achievement in the last year? new to you, new in release, either works! can’t wait to see your response and wishing you a happy new year! 😁🩷

oh man I'm late but YAYYYYYY I luv these round ups + appreciate U so much for asking each year! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! 🫂🎆

films: sooooo many good first watches in 2023, surprisingly a lot in the first couple months which I think set a precedent for a year of fruitful viewings 🔮 I made a top 25 list so shoutout to the other 20 that I painstakingly sifted from 300+ watches but ok my top 5 were:

Rapture (1979) dir. Iván Zulueta

Tampopo (1985) dir. Jūzō Itami

The Last of Sheila (1973) dir. Herbert Ross

Mirch Masala (1987) dir. Ketan Mehtal

Pickpocket (1959) dir. Robert Bresson

I also finished Pedro Almodóvar's filmography (except for the latest short) which was really satisfying so I feel like that also deserves a shoutout + I hope to complete other fav directors' filmographies this year too!

books: Dogeaters by Jessica Hagedorn, Near to the Wild Heart by Clarice Lispector, The Essential Dykes to Watch Out For by Alison Bechdel, The Carnivorous Lamb by Agustín Gómez Arcos, The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison -- ALL FICTION, CAN YOU BELIEVE!! I really loved a lot of the nonfiction I read last year too but these stories stuck with me the most/lingered on my mind the longest

music: I'm bad at keeping up with new music so I don't really have new releases to gush about like if I had to think of strictly 2023 releases I probably enjoyed Mitski + Kelela's albums the most but if I'm so real I didn't really come back to either of them often -- the artists I did consistently return to throughout the year were Danza Invisible, Chanel Beads, Hope Sandoval & The Warm Inventions, Pixies, and like all 3 of Kathleen Hanna's bands 🧘‍♀️

tv shows: I'm even worse at tv we know this but I got my sister hooked on early Survivor seasons so that's a win in my book 🙏 the last few months of the year I watched a lot of Boy Meets World + Portlandia randomly, probably bc I got sick for the first time in years n just wanted some easy watching that I knew I'd like.. OH and The State!! overall, yet another great year of watching irrelevant television that hasn't been on air for years 🙌

2023 was a really good year of reconnecting with friends + family for me!! I saw people I hadn't seen or spoken to in yearssssss just because of life and distance and whatnot but I've been more willing to go out of my way to make things happen/make my desire to reconnect #known and it's been really fruitful + reminds me of being in college doing the most just to go to a concert or meet up with some friends for the weekend IDK like the "inconvenience" of the process making the result that much sweeter or whateva :-) this one's silly and random but I cancelled my spotify premium subscription a few days ago (missed the billing cycle by a day so technically I'm still a premium user til the end of this month smh) which I've been meaning to do for a while but Finally I did it and I feel like this

#asks #cheesehair

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zombieluver · 6 months

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Adam in the bathroom.

about: Adam stuck in the bathroom, maybe he has a different ending.

triggers: saw typical mentions of violence and bodies

a/n: i might write another part for this if there's interest in it :) i love saw so much id be happy to write more

He thought the silence was the worst part of this.

Adam can handle the dark, he's lived long enough with all the lights out or in a dimly lit room, that he was used enough to it.

But, the silence was threatening to drive him insane.

Then the ringing started.

The first ring got a startled sound from him, the chain clattering in his scared jump. He quickly realized what it was.

The screen lights up, showing a call, and Adam blinks a few times, adjusting to the new light.

It's too far from him. Hell, it was too far for Lawrence, and he cut his foot off to get to it, and he was closer than Adam is now.

Not that Adam was that desperate... yet.

He did still have a sizeable amount of the saw left, although... he's not entirely sure where it is and he's not entirely sure he could stomach sawing his foot off like Lawerence could.

It's a softer jingle than he realized earlier, though he supposes he wasn't really paying attention to how it sounded. Moreso that it was sounding at all, and Lawerence answered it quickly anyway.

He huffs, leaning against the wall, better it soft than chirpy and grating.

He might've used that saw piece to kill himself to escape an annoying ringtune.

It rings until it stops, and the phone screen goes dark.

Adam sighs, fully back in the dark. He prods Zep's side with his foot, "Just you and me now... again."

He frowns, "For a corpse you're pretty fucking annoying, you know that?"

The corpse, as expected, doesn't reply. Adam clears his throat and pitches his voice up, "You're so mean, Adam! I'm dead, dead as hell! I can't do shit to entertain you!"

He sighs, rubbing at an eye, "It's been thirty minutes, and I'm already losing it. Talking out loud to myself."

He lets his head knock against the wall, "Lawrence, you better hurry with the reinforcem-"

The phone rings again, blue screen glowing again.

Adam swallows, more nervous than previous. "C'mon, it can't take that long to trace a call." He ignores the slight panicked whine in his voice.

The phone, a non-living object, doesn't respond and keeps playing its soft cheery tune.

"Zep, pretend I didn't just bash your head in a bit ago and crawl over and pick the phone up."

The corpse doesn't reply either.

Adam draws his knees to his chest and lets out a breath, eyes trained on the phone. At least it's a calm jingle.

He lets his head drop onto his knees. Maybe he can at least rest. Covered in blood from multiple people, dirt and grime, he can't say this is the best place he's slept but... probably not the worst, either.

The phone stops, leaving him in the dark again. Except a few moments later, it starts up again.

Adam clenches his jaw, but continues listening.

On the 7th call, he finally moves.

His shoulder aches, but the curled up sitting position he was in is starting to hurt his shoulder.

Zep's thigh isn't comfortable and he feels kinda gross using a corpse as a pillow, but it's better than nothing, he supposes.

The phone starts up again and Adam feels like he's going to go insane.

"If this is Alison calling, just know that I think your husband is attempting to get me help." He says, "Or maybe not. For all I fucking know he could be dead outside this room."

The realization that Lawrence could be dead hits him hard, and he feels nauseous.

He rolls onto his side, facing the door and the little light. "Please, please, find a way out of here, Lawrence. At least one of us needs to survive today."

The jingle stops, and the phone turns off after a few seconds.

Every time it happens now, Adam fears it'll die. Then it starts up a few moments later, driving Adam insane all over again before it descends into despair.

Adam thinks over the events of the day and comes to a realization.

If he had enough of a throw, he could use his clothes to drag the phone over to him like he did with the tape recorder earlier.

Quickly, he grabs his shirt and the drain stopper, and on the phones next ring, he throws and comes up short.

Multiple tries happen until the phone go dark.

It's not long enough.

"No, no, has to be another way."

He puts a hand to his shoulder wound, trying to help with whatever pain is there. Then, get it.

With much pain from the gunshot, he pulls his shirt off and ties it to the end of his jacket and throws.

It catches, and Adam shouts in excitement.

The phone catches on Zep's brains but Adam doesn't care, he just climbs over and grabs the phone.

He flips it open and waits.

A call comes in, and he immediately hits the answer.

"Lawrence? Lawrence, is that you?"

A choked sob escapes Adam, and he shakes his head, then realizes he needs to speak. "No, shit, it's Adam. I-I was stuck in here with him. He's out now. I don't know where he is. He.. shit, you need to send help. I don't know if he's okay."

There's chatter besides Alison, and quickly, her panicked questions give way to a new voice, "This is Officer Spenceman, may I ask who you are."

"A-Adam." He says, shaky, "Adam Faulkner Stanheight."

"Do you know where you are right now?"

"I'm in a bathroom. I don't know where this bathroom is, but it seems like a warehouse. Please, you need to send help. I'm still chained up and can't get to him. I don't want to die here."

"Is there anything you can use to identify where you are? Any clues?"

Adam shakes his head, "No, nothing shows me where I am, and I'm in the dark anyway. I can't see shit."

"Okay, stay on the line. We're using the call to track where your location is. Can you talk to me about something pleasant?"

Adam sputters for a moment, "I'm sorry?"

"Talk to me about something positive you remember."

Adam pauses and then talks, "There's a black cat that roams my apartment complex. I don't know who owns her or who the fuck lets their cat roam a place like that. But, I carry treats on me to feed to her, and I pet her whenever I see her. She's visited my apartment a few times."

"Did you name her?"

Adam wonders why he's talking about this, "I just called her cat. She felt more like a person to me than most people I actually knew."

"Can you-"

Beep.

Adam blinks, suddenly plunged into darkness again.

He pulls the phone away and sees the little screen had gone dark.

"No, nonono. FUCK! NO!" He screams, throwing the phone.

He hears the device shatter and break.

He's once again left in the dark.

Maybe he'll die here.

He looks up to the ceiling, into the black abyss that surrounds him in this hell of a bathroom.

"God, I've never been your biggest fan, and I know you're definitely not mine. But, if there's anything you could do for me, it'd be letting me live past this. Please, I'm not your favorite son but I'll do whatever you need to survive."

---

A loud bang startles Adam awake.

He opens his eyes and reflexively covers them from the light.

Wait, light?

"H-Hello?" He calls weakly.

"Adam?" Comes a soft voice.

He recognizes it but can't remember where.

"Yes! Yes, that's me!" He scrambles up, ignoring the pain searing through his body, "Please, please get me out of here!"

He hears a soft choked cry, and he blinks, trying to get the woman's face in view. "Adam, you're supposed to be dead."

"I'm not, just, get me out. Please, I'll do anything, just please." He whines, pulling himself up and closer.

A woman's face is what greets him behind the flashlight. The lady from his apartment.

"Rockstar?" He says weakly.

"Y-yeah, that's me. The rockstar in the hallway. The photo you never developed." She sits in front of him, flashlight clattering to the ground.

Adam blinks, confused beyond reason.

Did she bring him here? No, she's saving him.

With his leftover strength, he crawls over to her, chain just barely catching him from moving closer. He heaves himself to sit up.

"Rockstar, please, I need help out of here. I'll do anything you need."

"You survived the part of your test, and he didn't yet he lived, and you were left to die." Rockstar wipes at her face, mascara trailing down her face, "I didn't want that. I wanted you to live."

"I'm alive now. You can get me out of here, can't you?"

Rockstar nods weakly, hands fumbling around a key.

"Please, Rockstar. Help me out."

Rockstar looks to him, brown eyes watery and weak, "Will you help me live?"

Adam nods, "I have a place you can stay at. Just let me recover, and I'll clean it and do anything you need."

She shakes her head, "No, I have a place to live. I just..." She takes a shaky breath, "Be my friend?"

Adam pauses, "I wouldn't have hoped to see you at my buddy's concert if I didn't want to get to know you."

"Okay," Rockstar says softly, "You'll be helping me with more of this. Part of my family."

Rockstar moves the light closer to his foot and unlocks the chain.

Adam doesn't move, doesn't want to scare her.

For someone who put him into a death trap, he's surprisingly calm around her.

"Come on, Adam." She says softly, helping him to his feet.

Adam sways, feeling extremely weak. "Hospital?"

"Something like it." She mumbles.

Adam nods lamely, "Yea, sounds like every rock show I've gone to."

She laughs weakly, and Adam follows.

It's the last sound that echoes in the bathroom's walls. The sound of survival.

#saw #adam faulkner stanheight #adam radford #adam stanheight #adam faulkner #amanda young #the pig #could be read as an adamanda fic #tw corpse #tw blood #saw typical violence #tw gunshot wound #ichor flows

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ghosts-of-love · 7 months

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⭐I'd love to hear more about the confession scene from Lost Then Found!⭐

ooooh okay interesting!! 💕💕 I’ll just have a little read of it now and write my thoughts:

i was sooo desperate for the Captain to have a little rom-com moment – running through the rain to go and talk to Pat – it’s like he’s spent the whole fic thinking he’s in a tragedy and now he’s finally aware of the genre lol idk)

“Pat I’ve been a fool” and “God, I’ve been so blind.” were meant to echo things that Lizzy Bennet says in Pride and Prejudice 2005 :))))) I can’t find any clips of them though :( and then the moving forward and hesitating is meant to be Mr Darcy-esque.

Despite the initial rom-com-ness of the opening, i did also want them to be emotionally mature about everything, especially after the Captain was so quick to react the day before, i wanted things to feel like they'd really slowed down.

Cap taking the time to walk around his kitchen and remind himself of what makes it his house. The mantra of ‘this is my house and he won’t make me leave’. Just knowing that he’s safe enough with Pat to not start the conversation right away.

I think I remember that I wanted the overarching feeling to be like, relief basically. Relief that they’re on the same page, that they can both be honest, that they both understand where the misunderstanding after Pat’s attempt at a kiss came from.

There’s also a sort of mutual understanding that this relationship will not just fix the Captain immediately. You can tell that from the chapters following where he’s still so unsure of himself, and so worried that he’s being clingy. You can also see it in the one shot ‘two steps on the water’.

The KISS being on Pat’s hand (the one that punched Julian) showing Cap’s attention to detail – that he remembers which hand – and that he wants to show Pat how much that meant to him. And also show him that things are making a lot more sense to him, and that he realises that Pat was probably in love with him even back then. This later gets confirmed for him.

“Ted.” Not to be silly with it amongst the emotion but you know if Pat had an ounce less sense he’d have sucked Cap sloppy style at the kitchen table right then and there. Thank god he knew how important it was to let Cap speak.

I also needed them both to apologise to each other – they both had a hand in the misunderstanding. Pat for being impulsive, Cap for not listening to any explanation. They can’t start a relationship on that kind of footing.

I think the early sort of ‘setting some parameters and asking about boundaries’ helps Pat realise the kind of work they’ll have to put in eg. “Can I - can I hug you? And things like that?” and “You can’t kick me out in the morning if we’re in my own home, after all.”. it makes him sad but also grateful because I think he realises that Cap could have very easily come to a different conclusion after his session with Alison and decided he wasn’t ready for a relationship.

I had considered that as an option actually. And then something a couple of months down the line would have changed Cap’s mind/helped him realise he was ready. But I decided I had put him through enough, actually, and he deserved to know he was loved.

GOD Pat just knowing Cap so well by this point and knowing that they definitely shouldn’t rush into anything physical – even if Cap consents, he might not be doing it for the right reasons and he might regret it. Sensible guy, love u patty cakes.

I just really enjoy how much they say they love each other in this chapter too!! also then doing relationshippy things/ Cap experiencing them for the first time. Having Pat cook him dinner, brushing their teeth in front of the mirror together, fucking SPOONING!!

in short: I love them

fanfic writers: director's cut

#ask games!!#fanfic writers: director's cut #lost then found #bbc ghosts #patcap

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socaprince · 4 months

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SOCA THERAPY - JANUARY 14, 2024

Soca Therapy Playlist

Sunday January 14th 2024

Making You Wine From 6-9pm on Flow 98.7fm

Penthouse (Dr. Jay Plate) - Voice

Counting My Blessings - Nadia Batson

Everytime - Nadia Batson

Life After Fete - Kerwin Du Bois

Soca Party - Jimmy October & Tano

Tack Back - Kes & Tano

Junction - Coutain & Tano

Brain Freeze - Leadpipe & Jus-Jay

Center - Grateful Co

Touch - Hypasounds

Push Back - Saddis

Sugar Waist - Kerwin Du Bois & Yung Bredda

Search Party - Preedy

Arch - Rhea Layne

Hot Gyal Anthem - GBM Nutron

Holiday (Clean) - Problem Child

Call My Name - Destra

Lucy - Destra

Obsessive Winers - Destra, Alison Hinds, Denise Belfon

In The Center - GBM Nutron & Farmer Nappy

One Ah Dem - Shal Marshall

Closer - Imani Ray

Roxanne - Problem Child

Festival - Jasper YMC

Niceness - Kenny Montana

Happy Music (DJ Kevin Edit) - Ricardo Drue

I Am Soca - Kerwin Du Bois & Patrice Roberts

DNA (DJ Shy Drum Intro) - Mical Teja

Impossible - Problem Child & Patrice Roberts

Ah Love It Here - Ricardo Drue

The Menu - Teddyson John

Fete Woman and Alcohol (F.W.A) - Terron

Outside Jam - GBM Nutron & DJ Spider

Good Mood - Adam O

I'm Yuh Lover - Nadia Batson

TOP 7 AT 7 (Powered By The Soca Source)

Top Ricardo Drue Songs Streamed On Spotify

7. No Name - Ricardo Drue & Rupee

6. Homesick - Ricardo Drue

5. I.D. (Stamp Yuh Name) - Ricardo Drue

4. Weak - Ricardo Drue

3. Toxic Love - Ricardo Drue & Patrice Roberts

2. Professional - Ricardo Drue

1. Vagabond (DJ Crown Prince Intro) - Ricardo Drue

Come Home (Official Roadmix) - Nailah Blackman x Skinny Fabulous x Badjohn x Advokit x Anson Pro x Xplicit

Tornado (Riddim Master Road Intro) - Ricardo Drue

Hurricane - Skinny Fabulous & Lyrikal

Do What You Want - Skinny Fabulous x Asa Bantan x Mr Killa

Devotion - Destra

Jumpin' - Destra

Bonnie & Clyde - Destra

Bacchanal - Destra

Shake The Place - Machel Montano & Destra

Best Self - Nailah Blackman & Lyrikal

Beatin Road (Muv Bass Edit) - Preedy & Smiddy Smith

My All - Nadia Batson

All The Wine - Jab King

Good Oil - Tallpree

Bag Ah Sugar - Terra D Governor

Entering GreenzLand - Bunji Garlin

Toot Toot (Clean) - Temptress

Pandemonium - Voice x Lil Natty & Thunda

Carnival Day (D Ninja Edit) - Voice & Patrice Roberts

PAN MOMENTS Woman On The Bass - Neal And Massy Trinidad All Stars

TANTY TUNE OF THE WEEK Teaser - Becket

Play De Music - Kes

Sing Me Ah Melody - Drastic Of Them Island Boyz

Party In Space 2012 - Ricardo Drue & Swallow

Nat U (Sheed Clap Intro) - Claudette Peters

Welcome To Carnival - V'ghn

Welcome Back - Imani Ray

Trajectory - Bunji Garlin

Happy Daze - Nailah Blackman

Rum Sweet - Problem Child

Horn - Marlo Benn

Bequia - OG Park

Who Am I - H.S. Phaktor feat. Bomani

It's Carnival (remix) - Destra & Machel Montano

Waistline (Radio Edit) - Quan De Artist

Rubber Waist - Major Shackie

Jammers - TC

Anxiety - Patrice Roberts

NORTHERN PRESCRIPTION Restless - Jaxx

Soca People - Russ & Shal Marshall

Sokah - Nailah Blackman, Len Boogsie Sharpe & Mungal Patasar

Follow Dr. Jay @socaprince and @socatherapy

“Like” Dr. Jay on http://facebook.com/DrJayOnline

#dr jay de soca prince #soca therapy #2024 #toronto #download #podcast

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alittledizzy · 8 months

Note

Hey there🫶 i LOVEDDDDD burn bright!! God it was SO well written you guys are so talented!!!😭 i can't believe i actually got emotional over a handjob?? How dare you do that to meeee

I also wanted to ask if you guys are working on a new fic? NOT PUSHING!! im just genuinely curious what you guy come up with🙈 (also im hella curious: u once mentioned a one way ticket sequel? I would looove to read that, it is one of my all time fave fics in any fandom❤️)

You are my absolute favorite author in this fandom and i cant wait to read anything you decide to post! I genuinely love anything you write! You have a very unique writing style that just feels so natural and so human i really have a hard time stopping any reading session~

Hope you have a wonderful day🫶

omg anon this is so delightful hello and i love you.

we aren't working on anything at the moment, but we do want to write again together eventually!

i have definitely started a one way ticket sequel but i'll be honest, i had some hellacious writers block and for the most autistic reason: the writers website i'd been using to do all of my fic writing on since 2013 closed this year. and i just had like... the stupidest, most insurmountable block when i tried to use any other program. i even went as far as to email the guy that made it (since it was just an independently run site) to ask if he could send me the colors used on it so i could try and recreate it for my own use but he ghost me. on twitter and email.

but co-writing with alison did help a lot, it's like a whole different ballgame where i just felt really capable of doing it again. i'm still struggling a bit with solo stuff but i'm trying for a couple of challenges and i do advent every year (24 fics in 24 days) so at the start of october i'm going to post a prompt for form that and hopefully that adrenaline rush of a deadline again will help more.

tl;dr i really want to go back to the one way ticket sequel because it's all mapped out in my head, i just need to overcome the brain block.

#anon asks #dnf asks

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trickarrows-bishop · 10 months

Text

EPISODE SIX OF HSMTMTS REACTION LIVE BLOGGED BY ME BECAUSE THE LAST ONE WAS FUNNY TO DO AND I WANNA DO IT AGAIN

again, get ready for this to be iNSANE xoxo

woah maddox you cant just appear on my screen and expect me to be ok like HOLD ON NOW-

no one told rina oh ur JOKING-

this'll be like. the worst. especially for ricky oh fuck.

miss jenn's mother's problematic twitter account??? did you mean miss jenn's mother's problematic X account ???

"bigger things" GIRL. miss jenn. no one. and i mean. NO ONE. puts on a show like you queen. stfu (respectfully ily)

"I WAS PLACING A VERY CONFUSING PHONE CALL" so true. i too am confused tbh

OH WAIT MADDOX IS RIGHT THERE WHAT

wait why wasn't jet there. huh.

MADDOX U INTERESTED BAE???

maddox stop hiding it and go kiss her i am TIRED.

BENJAMIN??? love that for him fr

"hahahah... oh u weren't kidding D:" i LOVE MADDOX TOO MUCH SHE BETTER NOT FUCK ASH OVER FFS

MISS JENN WE ARE NOT EXITTING SORRY WE HAVE TWO MORE EPISODES AND THIS ONE SOZ NOT HAPPENING BABES WE GOT A SHOW TO PUT ON XOXO

KOURT THAT FIT GDAMN

anyways she kinda spoke facts. although. im still scared of spiders. nothing can get rid of that fear

all the kourt x ashlyn shippers are about to make this scene their personality and i understand why tbh

FUCK ASH DIDN'T HAVE FRIENDS ??? IM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS SHOW WDYM ASH DIDN'T HAVE FRIENDS LOOK AT HER SHE'S LIKE. PERFRECT. FUCK

maddox stop being gay and just KISS ashlyn im so OVER this yearning (i literally do this.)

BENJAMIN !!UR STILL HERE!!! DONT U FKING DARE LEAVE ILY

BRO FR LOOKING LIKE AN EMOJI WAIT A MINUTE

go on benjamin SHOW EMOTIONS !!!

"i am jennifer !! you are?" "unsettled." i LOVE HIM LIKE A SON

nah that boyband faze for jet makes sense tbh like i can see that

AAWWWWWW BENJAMIN :(

can we pls get a new plot because we did in fact save the musical in season one within an episode. like. i KNOW i can probably skip this episode and not miss much

ALL OF THESE FLASHBACKS TO EPISODE ONE JESUS CHRIST AND UR NOT SHOWING NINI LOL I AM HURT

fuck homophobia AND ILYSM MISS JENN <3 I LOVE HER FUCK

not the mention of CATS BOY THAT AINT A GOOD MUSICAL WHY WE LYIN

SEB ????

FUCKING HELL CARLOS

"give him a chance carlos" MOTHER FR

now why are the whole ass drama class on this what the fuck LMAO

NATALIE RETURN OH MY GOD IM SHAKING LMFAO

this is so out of character like bro no ?? that's not making sense

NORTH HIGH WHAT NO

HE'S PLAYING THE **** SONG CARLOS COME ON

so real of richard bowen he said GAY RIGHTS !!!

SEBLOS GETTING BACK TOGETHER WOHOOOOO

GAYS WIN FR

the longest lasting relationship being seblos is so SO funny to me

YES GO TO HIM CARLOS

THANK GOD FOR THE GAYS

cant wait to cry to this song jesus christ

stop they're so in LOVE I CANT DO THIS

GAYS WON GAYS WON GAYS WON GAY RIGHTS GAY RIGHTS GAY RIGHTS SEBLOS SEBLOS SEBLOS SEBLOS

"us?" FUCK THIS IM SO FSKDAJGHFAKJSDGHFKDAS

now why am i not seeing seblos kiss HUH

"oh so she thinks im a leader?" GIRL STOP IT LMAO

rina scene before they even canonically met alr ???

NINI MENTION !!!!!!!!!!!!

"uncle buck?!" reaL REAL I LOVE THAT MOVIE HE NEARLY DRILLED INTO A GUYS HEAD

"good luck skater boy" hmmmmmmmmmmmm anyways

okay now give me a maddox flashblack

FR IT IS MURDER SHE WROTE SO REAL ???? I LOVE MURDER SHE WROTE !! (im an old person at heart)

GIVE ME MISS JENN BACKSTORY

MISS JENN BACKSTORY WOHOOOO

no WAY ALISON ???

SHE RECOGNISED HER HOLY FUCK WHOAAAAA

not the story of the girl at frozen puking again LMAO

"you should do it" DON'T TELL ME IT WAS ALISON WHO DID IT

"i always thought mrs darbus deserved a power ballad" REAL I LOVE HER

no NO NO GIFTS ??? UR NOT ACTUALLY LEAVING

QUEEN?

NO ??? WHAT THE FUCK

MISS JENN TF? NO GIRLIE.

NOT THIS GOOD THING WE HAVE TWO EPISODES LEFT >:(

"i just got here tho :(" maddox ur so funny but NOT NOW

JET DONT BE AN ASS??

how r we gonna move on from this cuz i-

why am i not crying but was crying over the caswen scenes ffs

OH NOW A SONG ???

emmy ???

EMMY !!!!

my daughter fr

11 mins left oh maybe i'll watch it all tonight HEHEHEH

come ONNNNNN EMMY IS SLAYING AGAIN

THIS IS ALSO WHERE I FIND OUT THATS NOT HOW U SPELL HER NAME

MADDOX AND ASH IN THE SAME FRAME IM DELULU

maddox dont look at ash like that cuz ill run w it.

SHE SUNG AT EAST HIGH WOOOOOOOOO

WHAT THE- ALISON READ?

WHA- UHM- BRO-

maddox IS the stage management

SHE WAS ABOUT TO SAY ILY ??// KFHS

WAIT MAYBE I CAN BE A RINA

I DIDNT THINK WE'D GET TO THE ILY FOR RINA SO

HE GOT IN WHOA LETS GO RICHARD

NO SHES ABT TO MOVE OR SOMETHIN I STG NO

ALR THAT EPISODE WENT QUICKER??? IDK MAYBE I JUST WASNT SHOUTING ABT MADLYN AS MUCH LMAO. conclusion:

show's still gay? YUPPERS seblos? YUPPERS maddlyn? ...hopefully yuppers???

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts 4 #hsmtmts season 4 #hsmtmts spoilers #hsmtmts season 4 spoilers

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omgsquee2001 · 2 years

Text

Family: The Hargreeves Siblings x Gender Neutral! Reader

~~~

You were a good friend of the Hargreeves siblings. You were their scape from the neglectful life they lived. You didn’t have powers like they did. You envied them. Having super powers sounded awesome! However, the siblings envied you. They never asked to be born with powers. To be bought from their birth mothers by a man obsessed with apparently “saving the world”.

You sighed, sitting on the couch in the large living room that was the Elliot’s house. You weren’t feeling the best, emotionally. You felt like, you weren’t enough. Like you could be doing more to help the siblings in their search to once again, prevent the apocalypse from happening. A stray tear fell from your eyes. You jumped as someone sat next to you. You looked to the side, seeing Klaus. Klaus smiled at you.

“What’s the trouble, bubble?” He asked, resting his arm behind you on the couch. You, unsuccessfully, wiped the tears from your face. You cleared your throat.

“U-Um, it’s nothing.” You gave him a smile. “I’m just fine.” You said. Klaus raised his eyebrows at you.

“Hun, I clearly saw you wipe tears from your face. There’s no hiding it. So spill the beans!” Klaus said. You sighed and looked down.

“I-I feel useless.” You said. Klaus frowned.

“What do you mean?” He asked. You looked at him.

“You’re all out there, trying to figure out how to stop the apocalypse, and I’m just sitting in here, just waiting and worrying about if my friends will come back or not.” You said. Klaus sighed.

Take a little time, just look at where we are.

We've come very, very far, together.

Klaus looked at you. “Hey, look around for a minute.” Klaus said. You looked up at him in confusion. He smirked. “Just trust me.” He said. You looked around. You were in Elliot’s bunker. Notes of things that could help you, mostly written by you, were hung up everywhere. The machinery you had created to help you find each sibling was set up, resting up stairs. “What do you see, kid?” Klaus asked. You sighed.

“I just see, notes. And the machinery I built.” You said. Klaus nodded.

“Exactly. Those notes and that machinery have gotten us to where we are now. We’re so close to figuring it out.” Klaus said. You sighed and looked away, still not convinced. Klaus tucked his hand underneath your chin, making you look at him.

And if I might say so,

“And if I might say so,” Klaus said.

And if I might say so too,

“And if I might say so,” a new voice said. You and Klaus turned and saw Allison, who had been out trying to find clues as to what might help them.

We wouldn't have got anywhere if it weren't for you, kid.

Allison walked down the stairs to sit next to you. You looked at her. She smiled at you.

“We wouldn’t have gotten this far at all if it weren’t for you and your determination to find us.” She said, tucking some hair behind your ear.

Love is the sweetest thing.

Love never comes just when you think it will.

“Love is, sweet.” A voice said. The three of you turned and saw Diego and Victor.

“Love, is unpredictable. It never comes right when you expect it.” Victor said. The two siblings walked down the steps. Victor sat next to Alison and Diego knelt before you.

Love is the way we feel for you.

We're family, we're family, we're family,

all of us and you!

“We’re family, kid. All of us, and you. Whether you like it or not.” He said, making you smile a little bit.

Think of where we'd be if we were on our own; you're what holds us all, together.

And if I might say so, and if we might say so too, we never could love anyone as much as we love you!

“When I first arrived here,” the familiar voice of Five said. There was the familiar “zap” of Five Spatial Jumping. He appeared right in front of you. “I didn’t know where anyone was. I thought I was alone. And I would still be alone if it weren’t for you.” Five said. Victor reached over and took your hand in their’s. //I’m not sure what Victor’s pronouns are. If someone could let me know in the comments, that would be awesome.//

“[Y/N], we could never love anyone the way we love you.” They said. You smiled at Victor, tears of happiness shining in your eyes.

Love is the strangest thing.

Love does exactly what it wants to do.

Love, kid, you know it's true.

We're family, we're family, we're family, me and you!

“Y-You guys really mean that?” You asked.

“Without a doubt.” You looked up and smiled when you saw Luther. He smiled.

“Love is strange,” he said, walking towards you. “Love doesn’t care what people think and it doesn’t let anyone stop it,” he knelt before you, gently cupping your cheek with his hand. “We’re family, [Y/N],” he looked at his siblings. “All of us and you.” Luther said.

Ashes to ashes and dust to dust.

Without you there'd be no us.

Love is the sweetest thing.

Love does exactly what it wants to do.

Five smiled.

“We would all have turned into ashes or dust if it weren’t for you.” He said. Klaus smiled. He extended his hands, and a blue apparition of Ben appeared. He knelt before you.

“Powers or no, there’s no denying that without you there’d be no us.” He said. You smiled at Ben, tears falling from your eyes. It had been a while since you had seen him.

Love is the way we feel for you.

We're family, we're family, we're family, me and you!

“Love, [Y/N],” Alison said, making you look at her. “Is the way we feel for you.” She said. Tears of happiness fell from your eyes.

“W-We’re family. Me, and you.” You said, looking at the group. With smiles, they all embraced you in a group hug. You felt at home, with your family.

~~~~

//I decided to make another Umbrella Academy x Reader Disney addition. What do you guys think?? I might make some Black Butler x reader Disney addition.//

#the umbrella academy x reader #Disney songs

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elvain · 5 months

Note

1, 3, 5, 9, 10, 24, 25 for the year in review . hi mk

did u ask enough questions. did u wanna ask more.

What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year? How did it turn out? Would you do it again?

i wrote in second person POV for the first time ever with visions of the self! it was a really interesting experience. writing in second person POV forces you to think a lot more about the character themselves and that can be hard for writing purposes. when we write, we can fill up a chapter or passage with exposition or dialogue or general descriptions/storytelling. with second person POV, all you have is your character and how they feel/think. that being said, it's definitely something i would wanna explore in the coming year.

3. What piece of media inspired you the most?

oh, bridgerton, for sure. once upon a time, i would have been embarrassed to admit it, but not anymore! The Beau Monde was inspired entirely by bridgerton and 95% of it was written while listening to various soundtracks by string instrument groups + the official bridgerton soundtrack. i have rewatched this series more times than i care to count.

5. What ship(s) captured your heart?

there is a variety, actually! i really fell in love with johnnywyatt, which inspired dream a little dream of me. i learned about daeronmaglor only a week ago and already have a kinslayer in the woods. i have a new fic coming next year, inspired by alison blaire/jen walters. i have another fic of aragorn/eomer and still another one of eomer/lothiriel. lastly, i wrote Good Food, Good Mood and completed gave myself over to the wonderbeast of it all.

9. What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?

All Those Who Wander. it's always satisfying to finish a fic, but finishing a 14.6k fic in 2.5 days is another feeling altogether. i'm very proud of my writing and my dedication to this story. as a lucky bonus, the quality of the writing worked out, too ;)

10. What fic was the most difficult to write? Did you finish it?

The Beau Monde. not a single doubt in my mind about it. i have a very long history of writing, both fic and non-fic, and i always thought i was used to posting things and not receiving a huge amount of feedback or love for them. coming back to fic with regards to marvel comics highlighted that for me, and i like to think i overcame it well enough! but The Beau Monde was by far my most niche and self-indulgent fic, which evidently comes with a marked reduction in the interest and feedback that it generated for me. on one hand, it made me cherish all the feedback and reading i did get even more! but on the other, it made writing the fic harder than i expected. in the end, this story went from having 38-40 chapters to about 26. but i did finish it and the last chapter went up today and i am immeasurably proud. :)

24. If this were an awards show, who would you thank?

first and foremost, brieuc. secondly, everyone that has read or commented or kudos'd my writing. i recently joined the fotfics discord server, which is sooo helpful, and of course, i have to mention the multiverse of madness (derogatory).

25. What’s something you want to write in 2024?

my wlw dimension hopping fic is COMING. i'm also interested to explore more of tolkien's rohan. and i think i wanna start writing more wlw in general! The Beau Monde really helped with my confidence re: writing wlw and i'm excited for more.

end of year fanfic asks

#asks #writermk #thanks steph i love you

0 notes

versacherries · 7 months

Note

dear Alison,

i followed u back in fall 2021 which really was fun time for me, but also has a certain darkness to it and you're blog was one of the things that made this time good! immediately i thought wow this girl is so dope like literally and i got so excited when you started a yt channel and now im writing this ask to send you lots lots lots of love and strength!! i know i am a total stranger to you but i just wanted to tell you that taking a break is important especially when it comes to mental and physical health, and i know in my heart that everything is gonna work out for you beautifully bc you're beautiful human being inside and out🩷

take care, xoxo

hii💗 thank you so much for your kind words, i really appreciate them. I hope you're doing well and that there's no darkness in your life anymore!! I'm definitely not stopping because i have a vision for my channel and i really want to document all the fun adventures i'm hoping to have in my mid twenties, specially if i end up moving abroad, i'm so excited to put myself in uncomfortable situations like when i traveled alone and make fun videos out of it, plus there's a lot of other things i want to touch on in my videos in the hopes it could help other people like mental health, feeling like you lost your teenage years and the consequences of that, growing up with abusive parents etc. But right now i'm just feeling very uninspired with life and overwhelmed because i know i have to go through this first in order to get to where i want, but trying to do everything at the same time is resulting in me putting half-ass videos out there which i'm not that proud of because i'm such a perfectionist and tbh i can just feel my energy behind the camera being off. I'm probably coming back in December and January and i'll see how i feel after that.

Thank you so much for this message tho, i really needed it:)

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chrancecriber · 11 months

Text

Chilltrax (June 30, 2023)

23:58 Tep No Feat. Starzun - Hold Me 23:54 Vandelux - All I've Ever Known 23:54 C H I L L T R A X - Like Lobster Straight Out Of The Sink! 23:49 Valante - Eio 23:46 Cannons - Loving You 23:42 Telepopmusik, Juicy Cola - Breathe (Juicy Cola Remix) 23:37 Zaven - Voliere Amplitude 23:33 Jos & Eli & Eli & Fur - Riffs Of The Night 23:33 C H I L L T R A X - Street Life Worlds Cc 23:28 Alison Goldfrapp - The Beat Divine 23:23 Kraak & Smaak Feat. Izo Fitzroy - Twilight 23:19 Leaving Laurel - The Family We Find 23:16 Elderbrook & Tourist - Howl (Chill Mix) 23:16 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Cymbal Roll Bass 23:12 Lipless & Blue Noir - Alone 23:09 Attlas & Jodie Knight - Used To The Silence 23:04 Ghenwa Nemnom - Story Of A Battle (Chris Zippel Remix) 22:59 Zhu & Yuna - Sky Is Crying 22:59 C H I L L T R A X - Something I Should Tell You 22:56 George Fitzgerald & Syml - Mother 22:52 Everything But The Girl - Caution To The Wind 22:48 Attom - Distant Memories 22:44 Pableno - Heights 22:40 Autograf - Sleepless In Nyc (Extended Mix) 22:40 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Moon Boots 22:37 Jan Blomqvist - Carry On (Earthlife Remix) 22:34 Lapsley - 32 Floors 22:30 Logic1000 - 21 22:25 Booka Shade & Satin Jackets - Fusion Royale 22:21 Xixi Feat. Kwesi - Close To U 22:21 C H I L L T R A X - Chilltrax - Chill Out Piano 22:18 Dye O - Simply Be Here 22:14 Drama - Don't Hold Back 22:11 R Plus & Faithless Feat. Amelia Fox - Let's Just Have Some Fun 22:07 Flexible Fire - Costa Serena 22:03 Boehm - Who You Are 22:03 C H I L L T R A X - Slurry Toh 21:59 Avira & Nicholas Gunn - Sensing You 21:54 Two Lanes - Movement 21:50 Lp Giobbi Feat. Dj Tennis & Joseph Ashworth - All In A Dream 21:46 False Intentions - Good Liar 21:43 Melosense - Lost In Gruvv 21:43 C H I L L T R A X - Wonderful Tan! 21:39 Kx5 & Sofi Tukker - Sacrifice (St Mix) 21:34 Tycho Feat. Saint Sinner - Japan (Chilltrax Mix) 21:31 Dex 1200 - Ongea Nami 21:26 Above & Beyond & Marty Longstaff - Gratitude (Aname Pm Mix) 21:23 Farius - Coming Up (Hold On) (Dokho Remix) 21:23 C H I L L T R A X - Organ The Chillout Channel 21:19 Jones Meadow - Paint 21:13 Maya Jane Coles Feat .chelou - Never Asked For Much 21:10 London Grammar - How Does It Feel 21:05 Il:lo - Cynnes 21:01 Heard Right Feat. Phoebe Tsen - Pulling Me Under 20:56 Wassu & Mimi Page - Within Me 20:56 C H I L L T R A X - Escape The Noise 20:53 Vintage & Morelli - Once Upon A World 20:48 Lamorn - Olsen After Midnight 20:43 Darius Feat. Wayne Snow - Apology 20:38 Nils Hoffmann Feat. Julia Church - 9 Days 20:35 Dreem - Miles Away 20:29 Roisin Murphy - Incapable 20:29 C H I L L T R A X - Musique Nonstop 20:25 Feiertag - Didn't Know Why (You Lost Your Soul) 20:20 Royksopp Feat. Astrid S - Let's Get It Right 20:16 Sons Of Maria - Outbound 20:12 Emmit Fenn & Shallou - Hollow 20:11 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Bassy Dr 20:08 Xixi & Hildur Ottilia - Don't Worry 20:05 Embrz Feat. Abroad - Rise 20:00 Blank & Jones - Floatation 19:56 Blonde Maze - When You Move 19:52 Satin Jackets Feat. Mandy Jones - In This Life 19:52 C H I L L T R A X - Jimpster 1 19:48 Chris Malinchak - Control 19:43 Trilucid - Cheyenne (Extended Sunset Mix) 19:38 Classic Unknwn & Lipless - Be With You 19:34 Rocket Empire - Astoria 19:30 Kelela - Contact 19:30 C H I L L T R A X - Comes To Chill Out 19:27 Fløa (Floa) - Pictures Of You 19:23 Circle Sky - Love Hertz 19:18 Above And Beyond - Sun In Your Eyes (William Orbit Remix) 19:13 Alex Lo Faro - Move With Me 19:13 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Freesound 19:10 London Grammar - Lose Your Head 19:05 Chicane & The Mannequin - Summer In E Major 19:02 Jones Meadow - Expect 18:58 Kidnap Feat. Leo Stannard - Moments (Ben Bohmer Nils Hoffmann Remix) 18:57 C H I L L T R A X - Fresh And Fascinating 18:53 Monolink - Turning Away (Parra For Cuva Remix) 18:48 Sg Lewis - Lifetime 18:43 Nicolas Godin Feat. Cola Boyy - The Foundation 18:39 Duckmaw - Distant Worlds 18:35 Beacon - Im U 18:35 C H I L L T R A X - Scratch Toh (Freesound) Chilltrax 18:30 Heard Right & Oracle - There For You 18:27 Mango & Cloudcage - More Than This 18:23 Ran The Man - Swimmingpool 18:20 Lp Giobbi Feat. Caroline Byrne - Another Life 18:16 Elderbrook - The End 18:16 C H I L L T R A X - Worldschilloutchannnel Orbit 18:13 Finding Mero - In Loving Memories 18:09 Zimmer Feat. Panama - Make It Happen 18:05 Sons Of Maria - Lake Tahoe 18:01 Woven - Brushes 17:58 Olan - Wake And Return (Little Dragon Remix) 17:58 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Rocket Empire 17:52 Rüfüs Du Sol - See You Again 17:49 Sum Wave - It Feels Like Summer 17:45 Royksopp Feat. Astrid S - Just Wanted To Know 17:42 Satin Jackets Feat. Tailor - Somewhere In Paradise 17:38 Tycho - Into The Woods 17:38 C H I L L T R A X - See That The Humans Are Entertained 17:33 Eli & Fur - Better In The Dark 17:29 53 Thieves - Heights 17:26 Flexible Fire - Amatista 17:22 Drama - 3am 17:17 Nicholas Gunn Feat. Chris Howard - Thought Of You 17:17 C H I L L T R A X - E-chilled-music 17:12 Two Lanes - Ascend 17:07 Braxe Falcon - Step By Step (Amtrac Remix) 17:02 Ry X & Olafur Arnalds - Oceans 16:57 Volen Sentir & Makebo - Into The Stars 16:56 Bonobo Feat. Jordan Rakei - Shadows 12:15 Pines Feat. Fractures - Rewrite The Ending 12:11 Sultan Shepard - Sirens 12:08 Rezident - Wellenlainge 12:08 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Bassy Dr 12:03 Chicane & The Mannequin - Summer In E Major 11:58 Chris Malinchak - Saving My Love 11:55 Attom - Where Are We Going 11:53 Cannons - Hurricane 11:49 Everything But The Girl - Forever 11:49 C H I L L T R A X - Like Lobster Straight Out Of The Sink! 11:45 Shingo Nakamura - Focus 11:41 Kx5 & Sofi Tukker - Sacrifice (St Mix) 11:37 Fabio Vee & Mike D' Jais - Consolation 11:32 Cahelo - Bananaquit (Mass Digital Extended Remix) 11:28 Sound Quelle & Tailor - Where We Should Be 11:28 C H I L L T R A X - The Chillout Channel Redux 11:23 Alex Lo Faro - Move With Me 11:19 Ross Quinn - Away With Me 11:16 Giants' Nest - Flower Burst 11:12 Satin Jackets & Panama - Alive 11:12 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Freesound 11:07 Deep Sound Effect Feat. Svetlana Voice - Dreaming About You (Dj Aristocrat Remix) 11:03 Sons Of Maria - Lake Tahoe 10:59 Leaving Laurel - The Family We Find 10:55 Session Victim - The Pain 10:55 C H I L L T R A X - Listen To This! 10:51 George Fitzgerald & Syml - Mother 10:46 Royksopp & Susanne Sundfor - Oh, Lover (Nto Remix) 10:43 Feiertag Feat. Tessa Rose Jackson - Riptide 10:38 Zaven - Voliere Amplitude 10:33 Way Out West Feat. Liu Bei - Oceans 10:33 C H I L L T R A X - Scratch Toh (Freesound) Chilltrax 10:29 Morgin Madison & Ryan Lucian - From The Start (Mm Chill Remix) 10:26 Beacon - Pay My Debts 10:21 Lamorn - Olsen After Midnight 10:16 Sao Miguel Feat. Sebastian Reynoso - Hope In Balance (Wisternoff-grant Remix) 10:13 Jones Meadow & Clara Mendes - Em Baixo 10:13 C H I L L T R A X - Escape The Noise 10:10 Dreem - Miles Away 10:06 Shallou & Daya - Older 10:01 Braxe Falcon - Step By Step (Amtrac Remix) 09:56 Emi Ca - Just Breathe 09:52 Liz Cass - Blue 09:52 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Rocket Empire 09:47 Eli & Fur - Carbon 09:44 Flexible Fire - Costa Serena 09:40 Khotin & Tess Roby - Fountain, Growth 09:37 Lp Giobbi Feat. Caroline Byrne - Another Life 09:33 Thievery Corporation - Guidance 09:33 C H I L L T R A X - No Sticky Fingers 09:29 Reel People & Paula - Vibe (Moods Remix) 09:24 Mazoulew Feat. Bonnie Wylde - Circles 09:21 Dex 1200 - Ongea Nami 09:18 Tep No & Noak Hellsing - I Won’t Need You 09:13 Arley & Sirolf - One Day 09:12 C H I L L T R A X - Backward Rvb Where World Comes 09:09 Attlas & Jodie Knight - Used To The Silence 09:05 Pines Feat. Water Park - Tell Me 09:00 Il:lo - Cynnes 08:57 Melosense - Can't Replace You 08:52 Max Cooper - A Model Of Reality (Tor Remix) 08:51 C H I L L T R A X - Street Life Worlds Cc 08:47 Forty Cats & Arentis - Zen 08:43 Satin Jackets Feat. Tailor - Somewhere In Paradise 08:38 Washed Out - Eyes Be Closed 08:35 Lost In Pacific & Hanging Valleys - Escape 08:32 Dye O - Simply Be Here 08:27 Alampa - Caravan 08:26 C H I L L T R A X - Musique Nonstop 08:23 Feiertag - Didn't Know Why (You Lost Your Soul) 08:19 Nils Hoffmann Feat. Gordi - No One Else 08:16 Holen - Breathe 08:13 London Grammar - Metal & Dust 08:12 C H I L L T R A X - Industrial 08:09 R Plus & Faithless Feat. Amelia Fox - Let's Just Have Some Fun 08:05 Tycho Feat. Rum.gold - Run Away 08:01 Jones Meadow - Shackles 07:56 Steven Weston Feat. Lapsley - Like I Used To 07:52 Elderbrook - Wasted On You 07:52 C H I L L T R A X - Well How Ya Like It? Terrific! 07:47 Bonsaye - Viaje 07:44 Cannons - Loving You 07:40 Boerd - 2far 07:36 Pableno - Heights 07:32 R Plus & Faithless Feat. Amelia Fox - It's Enough (The Last High) 07:32 C H I L L T R A X - Twcc Chill Chill Chill Chilltrax 07:27 Monolink - Turning Away (Parra For Cuva Remix) 07:24 Drama - Hold On (Rezident Remix) 07:19 Ghenwa Nemnom - Story Of A Battle (Chris Zippel Remix) 07:14 Mozez & Tim Angrave - Head Full Of Dreams 07:14 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Cymbal Roll Bass 07:11 Alex Hook Feat. Rene - You Showed Me 07:05 Maya Jane Coles Feat .chelou - Never Asked For Much 07:01 Arto - Para Mi 06:56 Sons Of Maria - Close To Me 06:55 C H I L L T R A X - Haven't Even Rinsed! 06:51 Alex Lo Faro - Move With Me 06:46 Sound Quelle Feat. Daniel Robinson - Tempest 06:42 Tagavaka - Oxygen 06:39 Aftruu - Falling Asleep 06:34 Moon Boots Feat. Nic Hanson - Keep The Faith 06:34 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Moon Boots 06:30 Eli & Fur - Better In The Dark 06:26 Fkj Feat. Little Dragon - Can't Stop 06:22 Sum Wave - Evening Mood 06:17 Alison Goldfrapp - The Beat Divine 06:13 Reel People & Muhsinah - Something New (Kraak & Smaak Remix) 06:12 C H I L L T R A X - The Chillout Channel, Chilltrax 06:09 Holen - Healing 06:05 Two Lanes Feat. Kwesi - Another Time 06:02 Xixi & Hildur Ottilia - Don't Worry 05:57 Above And Beyond - Sun In Your Eyes (William Orbit Remix) 05:54 53 Thieves - Waves 05:54 C H I L L T R A X - Slurry Toh 05:49 Alampa - Lush Dance 05:46 Chill Cole - Liquid Life 05:42 Nils Hoffmann Feat. Malou - About You 05:38 Booka Shade & Satin Jackets - Fusion Royale 05:33 Chris Malinchak - Photograph 05:33 C H I L L T R A X - See That The Humans Are Entertained 05:30 Fløa (Floa) - Pictures Of You 05:26 Kaskade - Find Love 05:22 Rocket Empire - Astoria 05:16 Attlas Feat. Mango - Over The Water 05:13 Vandelux - All I've Ever Known 05:13 C H I L L T R A X - Escape 2 Music 05:09 Approaching Black - Sensitive 05:04 Chicane & The Mannequin - Summer In E Major 05:00 Hausman & Lumynesynth - Faded 04:56 Duckmaw - Distant Worlds 04:51 Blonde Maze - Night Light (Hessian Remix) 04:48 Everything But The Girl - Run A Red Light 04:48 C H I L L T R A X - Be Svendsen World Comes 04:44 Bonsaye - Kismet 04:41 Elderbrook & Tourist - Howl (Chill Mix) 04:38 Catz 'n Dogz Feat. Jaw - Time 04:33 Kelela - Enough For Love 04:29 Alex V - Cristal Shore 04:25 Shallou Feat.wales - Begin 04:25 C H I L L T R A X - Come Along Children - Need To Chill Out 04:20 Heard Right & Oracle - There For You 04:16 Farius - A Big Life (Sound Quelle Remix) 04:13 Jones Meadow - Expect 04:08 Ferr By Ferry Corsten And Rich Walters - Limbo 04:08 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Bassy Dr 04:04 Sons Of Maria - Lake Tahoe 03:59 Eli & Fur - You And I 03:56 Flexible Fire - Costa Serena 03:53 Leisure Feat. Muroki - Summer Season 03:48 Evelynka - Letting Go 03:48 C H I L L T R A X - Bugs B Gone 03:44 Electronic Bodyguards - Stronger (Pete Herbert Remix) 03:41 Afterlife - All I Wanted 03:36 Pines Feat. Akacia - History 03:33 Melosense - Nous 03:29 Morcheeba - The Moon (Kutiman Remix - Version B) 03:29 C H I L L T R A X - Worldschilloutchannnel Orbit 03:25 False Intentions - Good Liar 03:22 Sault - Wildfires 03:18 Sum Wave - Milkyway 03:15 George Fitzgerald & Syml - Mother 03:15 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Freesound 03:09 Pilots Of Peace - Fallin 03:04 Braxe Falcon - Step By Step (Amtrac Remix) 03:00 Il:lo - Ink 02:56 Flume Feat. Emma Louise - Hollow (Logic1000 Remix) 02:56 C H I L L T R A X - Scratch Toh (Freesound) Chilltrax 02:52 Satin Jackets Feat. Tailor - Relapse 02:49 Finding Mero - In Loving Memories 02:46 Blonde Maze - Daydream (Otherwise Fine Remix) 02:41 Lamorn - Olsen After Midnight 02:38 Passenger 10 - All I Have 02:38 C H I L L T R A X - Something I Should Tell You 02:34 Jan Blomqvist & Malou - Alone 02:30 Darius & Amaria - Faded 02:25 Volen Sentir & Makebo - Into The Stars 02:20 Odesza Feat. Olafur Arnalds - Light Of Day (Parra For Cuva Remix) 02:17 Farius - Coming Up (Hold On) (Dokho Remix) 02:17 C H I L L T R A X - Chilltrax - Chill Out Piano 02:12 Vincenzo - You Knew 02:09 Attlas & Jodie Knight - Used To The Silence 02:04 Elderbrook & Emmit Fenn - I’ll Find My Way To You 02:00 Fakear - Crystal 01:56 Alampa - The One 01:52 Wassu & Mimi Page - Within Me 01:52 C H I L L T R A X - The Interstellar Chillout Channel 01:47 Flexible Fire - La Cumbre 01:44 Lp Giobbi Feat. Caroline Byrne - Another Life 01:40 Parra For Cuva Feat. Kyson & Beau Diako - Ordel 01:36 Jean Vayat & Evelynka - My Soul 01:32 Dye O - Simply Be Here 01:27 Royksopp - Compulsion 01:27 C H I L L T R A X - Cleanliness Don't You Agree 01:23 Kx5 & Sofi Tukker - Sacrifice (St Mix) 01:19 Vandelux - Tulum 01:16 Tomb - Unbound 01:12 Tennyson - Iron 01:12 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Rocket Empire 01:08 R Plus & Faithless Feat. Amelia Fox - Let's Just Have Some Fun 01:03 Sons Of Maria - Are You 01:00 Sum Wave - It Feels Like Summer 00:55 Two Lanes - Never Enough 00:51 Eli & Fur - Where I Find My Mind 00:51 C H I L L T R A X - Like Lobster Straight Out Of The Sink! 00:47 Reel People & Paula - Vibe (Moods Remix) 00:44 Drama - Dark Rain 00:39 Blank & Jones - Floatation 00:36 Satin Jackets & Panama - The Future 00:36 C H I L L T R A X - Escape The Noise 00:31 Morgin Madison & Ryan Lucian - From The Start (Mm Chill Remix) 00:27 Circle Sky - Your Name 00:24 Rocket Empire - Lima 00:20 Fløa (Floa) - Pictures Of You 00:20 C H I L L T R A X - Industrial 00:17 Tep No - Deep Sin 00:12 Maya Jane Coles Feat. Chelou - Never Asked For Much 00:08 Flexible Fire - Costa Serena 00:03 Meeting Molly - Gerda 00:03 C H I L L T R A X - Jimpster 1 00:00 Alampa - Seesaw Season

#Chilltrax #Chillout #Lounge #Downtempo #Ambient #Trance #Deep House #2023 #June 2023

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halflingkima · 1 year

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Favorite Books of 2022

And now the cream of the crop! My top ten ranked favorite books of the year! I’ve marked new favorites of all time with *. I’ll do my best to avoid spoilers!

And I guess I’ll stick this in here – I was gonna make simple graphics for these but I still haven’t found a working photoshop patch so sorry this is just walls of text I hope u still like me anyway

10. Take a Hint, Dani Brown (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️) by Talia Hibbert Friends-with-Benefits-Only Danika and Hopeless Romantic Zafir go viral during a fire drill at work and strike up a fake social media romance to help Zaf’s charity work.

Perhaps unsurprising, but I loved this one. Chloe Brown was middling for me but this one put rating scales to shame. Zaf is. the most perfect male love interest (in a m/f story) – he’s a hopeless romance head over heels for her from page one, who’s also processed the majority of his trauma and alread has healthy coping mechanisms. But on top of that, Dani is an excellent bisexual dye-haired witchy phd genius who’s exceptionally focused on her work and afraid of the heartbreak that comes with commitment. The two of them work together so perfectly that this whole book was just an excellent time (despite the early dissolution of the “fake” part of their relationship lol).

9. The Psychology of Time Travel (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️) by Kate Mascarenhas Four British scientists discover time travel in the 60s, and fifty years later, the granddaughter of one starts receiving cryptic clues hinting at a murder yet to occur.

This was such a unique book that really dives into time travel in a way I appreciated. In one way, it’s exactly what it says on the tin. It largely dives into how time travel affects psychology by removing the concept of consequence and personal responsibility, and other branching effects, like how living one’s life out of order manifests mentally. Looked at from a different angle, the title is far too simplistic. It’s about good intentions coupled with power leading to oppression and control, about how the government is both necessary and overbearing, about living with different mental illnesses, about what makes us human – which may or may not be related chronology. Decide for yourself. There was also a fun murder mystery, some satisfying vengeance, and some lovely romances. This is absolutely one of those “everything but the kitchen sink”/”oops all genres” books and I adored it.

8. Big Friendship (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️) by Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman Two best friends detail the history of their friendship, address the importance of Big Friendship in adult life, and call attention to the work and effort such a relationship requires.

This is a very important book to me now, mostly because I expect friendship(s) to be the most important relationships throughout my life, and I rarely see that concept – of an integral adult friendship – respected or explored. This book is written by two cishet women with partners, but they make a point of addressing the very preliminal research that’s been done into asexuality and the importance of non-romantic relationships in adults’ lives. I think it’s also great that this was written by two allosexual people because everyone needs deep platonic bonds and those relationships are always overlooked in our modern culture. I also really appreciate how this book really looks into the work these women had to do to retain this relationship; it was not simply an effortless part of their life, they actively chose to maintain it, prioritize the friendship and do the emotional work, and remain integral parts of each others’ lives.

7. Fun Home (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️) by Alison Bechdel In graphic memoir format, Bechdel explores her relationship with her father, reconciles their shared queerness, and processes his (presumed) suicide.

I did get the opportunity to see the stage show a while back, and this is my theatre degree speaking, but it could’ve been better. I loved the staging and etherealness but ultimately I felt that it didn’t need to be a musical – the music took up time and resulted in some flattened characters. The book however, was practically perfection. Even removing that Bechdel is a comic artist, I don’t know how a prose memoir could’ve been any better. The portrait she paints of her father and their relationship through her eyes as she aged is so nuanced and full and effective. The literary devices and allusions are breathtaking. There’s a thread of not only shared literature but James Joyce’s Ulysses specifically running through the whole piece that created meaning in a very unique way (despite not having read Ulysses). Excellent work that I plan to reread many times.

6. The God of Lost Words (Hell’s Library Trilogy*) (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️) by AJ Hackwith With Hell yet still bearing down on the Library of the Unwritten, the trilogy's heros call a revolution of libraries to action.

I read the latter two books of the trilogy this year and reread the first, so this is kind of a stand-in for the whole trilogy. I’m not fully sure what to say about this at all. It was simply. Exactly what I wanted from the series, and maybe from any book. I’m hesitant to be over-dramatic but it borders on a sort of religious manifestation for me, I suppose? The way different mythologies and afterlifes and their related libraries manifest and coalesce spoke directly to my own belief system, or at least my system of philosophizing religion and religious history. And on top of that, the way the cast builds upon each previous book and eventually provide a united front though a common belief in humanity and their libraries was quintessentially excellent. Book series of all time.

5. People We Meet on Vacation (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️) by Emily Henry Best friends Poppy and Alex have always shared summer vacations until they stopped speaking two years ago; this summer gives them one last change to patch things up.

This may not be a favorite of all time, but it’s this high on the list because of how much joy in brought me in the reading. The ending felt a little too realist for me, but aside from that everything was nearly perfect. Getting to watch their relationship develop over the years while simultaneously picking up on how close they are now was the perfect way to handle that trope, and the tension between loving someone and not being able to lose the closest friendship in their lives was exceptionally well done. (see again, Big Friendship 😉) On top of that, I loved all the characters involved (esp bc they weren’t all straight & white) and the heat level was pretty much perfect for me. I never expected to be an Emily Henry girlie but this does deserve the hype.

4. Our Bloody Pearl* by (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️) DN Bryn The siren Perle is captured by pirates and experimented upon until a family of different pirates comes to their rescue.

I remember this concept floating around tumblr so many years ago and I was ecstatic to stumble across it in my library’s digital collections. It’s got everything: NB sirens, a black ace male MC, queer found family, disability management, evil lady, steampunk inventions, air piracy, sea piracy, excellent world building and character backstory/development, etc etc. The torture and PTSD can get kinda heavy, but it all serves the story so well. The synopsis sounded tailor made for me and the novel lived up to it excellently. Great stellar amazing pirate time.

3. The Darkness Outside Us (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️) by Eliot Schrefer Ambrose and Kodiak are sent on a space mission as representatives for their respective countries, but once they're in the shuttle, parts of their mission – including what their shuttle's AI tells them – aren't adding up.

Anyone who’s read this will tell you the marketing does it a full disservice. They should call it an anti-marketing campaign. Everything I saw about this told me it was a YA sci-fi m/m romance, which I was fully ready to give a pass. Then I saw it in someone’s reading vlog and they heavily emphasized how inaccurate that marketing was, and because I trend toward that person’s reading tastes, I picked it up. It’s so hard to explain why this book kicks ass without spoiling the bits that do so, so I’ll constrain myself. Essentially, this is a sci-fi thriller with a significant romance element. The characters are 17, but I think the story not only works, but makes more sense if they’re more like 23 (which is basically how I read them). Please read this book, it rocks so hard.

2. You Feel it Just Below the Ribs* (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️) by Jeffrey Cranor & Janina Matthewson A fictional autobiography from an alternate twentieth century USA details a haunting butterfly effect of one woman's choices, while an editor's commentary provides further context and insight into the modern world.

If you’ve spoken to me at all in the past year, you know I have not shut up about this book since I read it in April. I read the audiobook on a whim because I was in a night vale miniphase (they come and go) and I noticed it was available through my library and I was home alone with nothing better to do. And then when I finished it, I made my mother drive me to the nearest B&N (about an hour away) so I could spend my birthday gift card on the print copy.

This is what I mean when I say meta narratives are my shit. This book gave me numerous existential crises. This book made me feel like I was in school again (in a good way), annotating the footnotes and marking narration biases. This book also had that extra spice of watching history develop through a character’s point of view (like I mentioned with American Pop vs The Vanishing Half). This is definitely a psychological horror, but it’s also an incredibly slow-burn horror. That I read in the middle of the night while home alone. Drove me up the wall and I’m obsessed. I’ve not heard literally anyone else speak about it – even in the vague corners of the WTNV fandom I’ve glimpsed – and it is now my mission to shove it upon everyone else. Uhh there’s lesbians in it. Women in STEM. what else u need hmm??

1. Beautiful World, Where Are You* (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️) by Sally Rooney In the style of Normal People, four friends live and love – and navigate capitalism, family structures, millennial irony & ennui, and communication – in Ireland.

I was reluctant to read this this year because I read Conversations with Friends and while I liked it, it didn’t alter my brain chemistry like Normal People did. And then if I did like this one, I wasn’t sure I wanted my brain chemistry altered again. And also I didn’t wanna be Basic. But I am. I am basic.

Actually, writing these year-end posts helped me put on finger on what clicks most for me with Sally Rooney’s books. They fall into the millennial ennui category, but she pulls it off. First of all, she has this tone or voice of distance that speaks to the modern era – everyone’s too cool to care, everyone’s held at arms’ length, the closest friendships are long distance and depersonalized through social media. But below that, everyone cares so much. We adopt this aloof day-to-day because otherwise we’d get lost in emotions – lost in missing our best friend, in trying to solve world hunger, in how much we hate being overworked and underpaid and mostly bored at work. And the most important thing Rooney includes is that glimmer of hope – we have each other and that’s important and it matters; it doesn’t change the world, but it’s vital. And thats a vital part of her work that breathes life into her stories that other books along the same thread overlook.

It’s so hard to explain what this book is about, because it’s not really about anything. I’ve been basically describing it as Normal People with an added focus on (primarily female) friendship. The quadrangle and all the developing relationships in this story are so. Good and real and varied and feel like relationships we really don’t get to see in media but see all the time in real life. And it comes off as authentic rather than forced. (note: the sex scenes are still awkward and torturous and yes that is the point and yes i Fully Suffer, but the bits outside of sex, and the lack of sex being make or break in these relationships make it worth it to me, I guess). There’s also bi4bi and some meta narrative about being a professional author to ice the cake. Anyway.. book of all time.

*also a note: i also read exciting times by naoise dolan this year and tbh if i had read that before this, I may have liked it more. as is, this one was what i had hoped from from that one. funny.

#maddy's reads #i am finally free

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