#all of my favorites are patreon exclusive but have the first couple episodes up on youtube so if youd like to try it out you can

[tailsrevane]

my favorite queer relationships in media

this was another patreon-exclusive post that i'm posting here now because i'm not on patreon anymore. this one was a belated pride month post from july of 2022 where i listed my favorite queer relationships in media. i would probably list some of these in a different order today, but i'm just gonna share the post in its original form. enjoy!

what up, gay nerds!

today i’ll be talking about my favorite queer relationships in media. we’re talking couples, we’re talking throuples, we’re talking polycules, and we’re also talking non-romantic queer chosen family. this is obviously a topic that’s very near and dear to my heart, so i’m super excited to talk about it!

also, because of the relative dearth of queer relationships in mainstream media, i’m also going to talk about characters i ship. this will be in a separate section, though, so let’s start with the main event.

my favorite canon queer relationships

14. piper/alex (orange is the new black)

i’ve only seen the first few seasons, but yeah, at the time having actual gay relationships on a tv show i was watching was such a blessed relief.

there’s a line early in i think season 2? where piper and alex are being all domestic together and piper says, “this is so nice, and so gay!” and it more or less sums how i felt about the whole thing.

13. david/keith (six feet under)

six feet under is a very slice of life show, and the romantic relationships it depicts are accordingly presented with an aching realism. david and keith have their issues but they deal with them responsibly, engaging in couples counseling and doing their best to get better.

it’s a very healthy portrayal and it doesn’t seem like the show is going for brownie points or anything, they’re both just valued characters whose stories the show wanted to tell.

12. lady tohru/kobayashi (miss kobayashi’s dragon maid)

this would be higher, but tohru and kobayashi have never really been the main draw for me? i’m hella into the family vibes between the two of them and their adopted child kanna. kanna is just a gloriously adorable child and she’s so sweet and her family is so good and argh. feelings!

the show (and presumably the manga it’s based on) is so well-written, though. they always put kobayashi in a position to just be the sweetest butch mom and it’s so freaking good.

11. violet/allie (her story)

this was rather by the numbers, i get it, but seeing a trans girl in a healthy lesbian relationship helping escape from her abusive boyfriend was super life-affirming to me for… reasons.

actually, just seeing another trans person on screen was so what i needed at that exact moment in time, it actually helped light a fire under me to get started on hrt.

10. ivanova/talia (babylon 5)

literally the only thing holding this back from being higher on the list is that thanks to 90s homophobia it had to be largely implied, and that it ended tragically.

in her last appearance on the show, talia slept with ivanova, and in a later episode when everyone on the crew has to tell a deep, personal secret ivanova says that she loved talia. so it’s more than you might expect given the limits it had to work within. and ivanova is my favorite character on the whole show and always has been, so yeah, this meant a lot to me.

9. nomi/amanita (sense8)

the joy of seeing actual transgender people on screen in a mainstream streaming series directed by two trans people is matched only by the joy of that trans character getting absolutely railed by the best/prettiest doctor who companion with a strap-on in her first scene. fuck yeah.

and then their whole first arc is about nomi’s bodily autonomy being threatened and amanita coming to her rescue and she rescues her in the most emotionally satisfying scene ever and oh my gosh you guys it’s so good.

8. dev/lee (out of position) & volle/xiller (argaea)

at my first furry convention i discovered that there was a thriving small industry publishing specifically furry books. we’re not talking zines here (though those are also awesome in their own right), we’re talking novels, anthologies, short story collections, etc.

at the time i was still hella into sports, so i was immediately drawn to one that had a buff tiger in a football uniform hoisting a fox femboy onto his shoulder with one arm. ironically at the time i was a tiger (though certainly not the dumb jock musclegod dev is), and today i’m a fox femboy? funny how things work out.

anyway, turns out the author of that book is one of the most prolific (and definitely the most popular) furry writers, and i actually liked his argaea series even better than the football nerd one. argaea is set in a fanciful renaissance-ish world and full of palace intrigue and mystery and kidnappings and whatnot. very fun stuff there.

7. baz/simon (simon snow)

there’s been a harry potter-shaped hole in my heart for years now, so when i heard about this series i was immediately in.

the way magic works in this certainly doesn’t really square with how i think about it, but it’s definitely a creative approach. and i super approve of how these books handle the enemies-to-lovers romance of the two dumb gay boys, as well as how it depicts one of them having crippling depression and how they navigate the relationship difficulties this often results in. extremely good stuff here.

(also i’m almost done with the last book and i’m pretty sure there’s a couple of useless lesbians happening!!! exciting!!! there’s also one het couple in the last book if you’re into that kinda thing.)

6. galo/lio (promare)

what if we were a dumbass himbo and a powerful femboy and did an enemies to lovers thing to become an incredible anime power couple and just kicked all of the ass. all of it. what if that?

5. harley quinn/poison ivy (dc comics)

honestly the only reason this isn’t higher on the list is because i’ve seen very little of their actually in a relationship stuff, and that’s a me problem that i really need to fix asap. but i’ve shipped them forever, basically ever since that animated series episode. you know the one. so when i heard they were canon i squeed so loudly.

4. luz/amity (the owl house)

the owl house feels like it was made specifically for me. this show also saw the harry potter-shaped hole in my life and came along and was like “okay but what if we made something drastically better and more imaginative instead and also basically everyone was gay?” and uh, yeah! obviously!!

so obviously it’s being canceled because some dumbass homophobic executive had a problem with it and omfg disney is the fucking worst. can they please just stop.

but yeah i’m so glad kids get to grow up with stuff like this and she-ra and etc, but also i’m so glad i get to watch it too okay? witchy gay bullshit is entirely my jam.

but yeah amity and luz are the sweetest useless lesbians and i love how flustered they get around each other despite having no problem having badass magic fights and just ugh they’re so good i love them so much.

i also want to give a shout-out to lesbian wine aunt eda and her ex-enbyfriend/hopefully-soon-to-be-ex-ex-enbyfriend raine, i’m really rooting for them!!!

3. adora/catra (she-ra)

no big deal just the main hero and main villain of a science fantasy swashbuckling magical girls show who swordfight like literally all the time and are super blatantly gay for each other the whole time and have emotional turmoil over each other and constantly try to assert their dominance over each other.

also there’s a prom scene in the first season where the villain shows up in a messy tux and dances with the hero girl while verbally needling her and dips her really low and it’s so gay and i’m so jealous because i want a villain like that to be all homoerotic with.

and then in the last season of the show catra finally switches sides and apologizes to adora and then adora comes and rescues her and she has this badass transformation scene and it’s one of my favorite scenes in television history and ugh i am so gay and in the last episode they kiss and confess their feelings for each other and fuck i love these two and this show.

there’s also another canon lesbian relationship between netossa and spinnerella, and the series creator said rogelio, kyle, and lonnie are a polycule! and they’re all such good boys and one of them is a really hot lizard boy and aaaaaaa.

2. basically every relationship (dragon moms)

so uh yeah one of my partners is an author and basically all of her characters are queer (with a few exceptions) and a lot of them are trans or nonbinary and i love her writing so much, if you have similar tastes to me you’ll probably like it too. everything is just very emotionally satisfying and character-driven and just… she’s the best, guys. i’d be a fan of her writing even if i weren’t dating her.

anyway her most popular and probably best work is dragon moms which she serialized online but also published as an ebook with extra content and it’s so good and so gay and yeah, she also has a lot of other short stories and stuff on her website and a few other ebooks available and i unreservedly recommend anything she’s written she’s so good.

1. star trek: discovery’s queer chosen family

i’ve gushed about them a bunch in my discovery reviews so there really shouldn’t be any surprise here, but yeah. when lieutenant stamets and dr. culber were shown as a couple in season 1 of discovery it belatedly fulfilled an almost 31-year-old promise by gene rodenberry. in season 3 of the show, they also introduced gray (a trans guy) and adira (an enby) and made them gay for each other on top of that, and i love them so much, i would die for them. and on top of that they all came together as a surrogate family with stamets and culber just being amazing surrogate space dads and jet reno popping in every now and then as their weird butch lesbian aunt and i am so, so glad i lived long enough to see star trek get this gay, guys!!

while i’m talking about star trek i do want to mention that i didn’t forget about seven and rafi, and i do love them, but i don’t love that them getting together basically happened off screen? like they get plenty of screentime in season 2 but that was in full figuring their shit out mode and idk i just don’t like that all we got for them becoming a couple was them holding hands at the end of season 1 like it feels like you skipped the whole romantic part of their relationship and that kinda sucks?

queer relationships i ship

(cw: some of these characters will have canon age gaps and/or are minors in some canons, just assume there's an element of au-ification here. cool? cool.)

14. finn/poe (star wars)

look i don’t care about star wars anymore but wow how could you not make these guys gay come on.

13. bella/alice (twilight)

again i don’t really care but especially in the movies alice is literally the only person that seems right for bella like seriously their relationship is so much better than her relationship with either of the two boys.

12. kota ibushi/kenny omega (professional wrestling)

to be super clear this is very much about their characters, not them as a people, i don’t ship real people that’s creepy.

their characters have this amazing wrestling love story and i just want it to be even more explicitly gay than it already is, but also it’s already kinda explicitly gay??? and that’s amazing.

11. femshep/jack (mass effect 2) & pc/kaliyo (star wars: the old republic)

this one is moreso about two times bioware queerbaited me, like i met both of these characters while playing female characters and was immediately like “wow okay they are totally lesbian doms like you can tell me they’re bi and i’ll believe you” but i was just so sure they had to be romanceable for my female characters and then i found out they weren’t? and in both cases i was just like, what the fuck guys, this is cultural appropriation.

10. riker/worf (star trek: the next generation)

this started out as a joke but i’m kind of firmly committed to it at this point. there is at least as much reason to think that riker and worf are hooking up on the regular as there is that riker and deanna are, and riker and deanna got married later sooooo…

9. georgiou/burnham (star trek: discovery)

i mean, burnham has more feelings about georgiou than she does about any of her actual on-screen romantic partners, whether it’s for her gentle mommy domme prime universe georgiou or her badass mean domme mirror universe georgiou.

8. dick grayson/jason todd (dc universe)

i literally wrote fanfiction about these two when i read nightwing: year one and jason kept bratting the fuck out of dick to the point where dick literally tied him up.

jason is a bratty power bottom and dick is a service top. i will not be accepting questions or feedback at this time.

7. garak/bashir (star trek: deep space nine)

i don’t even give a shit about bashir when he isn’t interacting with garak. he might as well be a non-character.

i fucking love garak he is such an amazing bratty dom. i love watching him play with his food (his food being bashir).

6. legolas/gimli/aragorn (lord of the rings)

it’s that thing where you take a very homosocial book and add expanded roles for some of its female characters to make it less homosocial but you change exactly nothing about how emotionally intimate the homosocial relationships are and y’know whoops they’re clearly gay now, we decided.

5. bruce/clark (dc universe)

how is this not canon? there is so much blatant textual support for it, holy shit, look at literally any interaction they’ve ever had with each other.

4. neo/trin (the matrix)

yeah they’re on-screen canon, i just mean i headcanon both of them as enbies. so like. they aren’t actually queer in their portrayal onscreen (but like, come on, this is the gayest “straight” couple ever), but they are in my headcanon? if that makes sense.

3. tim drake/jon kent (dc universe)

yeah, they both have boyfriends who aren’t each other, but tell me you didn’t immediately think about these two cute superhero boys kissing the second you heard they were both openly bi. i don’t believe you.

2. flick/cj (animal crossing)

i actually questioned whether to put this as a canon relationship considering that the game frequently seems to stop just short of saying it and i’m reasonably certain that the creative team considers them an item. but i’ll leave it under this section because they don’t just come right out and say it. 

1. sonic/tails/knuckles/shadow

i mean, this is a pretty obvious one right? i mean okay polycule shipping is pretty rare, but like, sontails is obviously correct and sonshad is obviously correct and sonknux is obviously correct and knuxtails is obviously correct and shadtails is obviously correct and i’ll grant you there isn’t as much on-screen evidence for knuxshads but still just put it all together and there you go. like i said. obvious.

please don’t ship sonamy it’s so creepy she’s literally a stalker it’s not okay. i mean do what you want but i’m judging you. my favorite interpretation of amy’s feelings btw is a comic i saw on twitter once where amy is coming out as a lesbian and she apologizes to sonic for being all weird and overcompensating by being over the top into him and he’s super understanding because he’s gay and he gets it and idk it just feels so real and good to me.

anyway, yeah! happy belated pride! i love gays and being gay.

[yurimother]

Growing up Yurijin: My Childhood Experience with Lesbian Anime and Manga Part I

This article is the first in a two-part personal essay about my childhood experiences growing up around Yuri in an environment where LGBTQ+ identity and culture were normalized. The article was original released exclusively on Patreon in February 2019. You can read Part II on the YuriMother Patreon.

I was recently reading an article by one of the people I admire most in the world, LGBTQ+ manga tastemaker and lesbian icon, Erica Friedman, a person who, in my hubris, I sometimes compare myself to, qualitatively, of course, their achievements far exceed my own. In the essay I was reading, Friedman describes their struggle to find literature that reflected their queen identity in the 1980s. At this moment, it also occurred to me the Friedman had previously spoken about how they discovered anime and manga, which included lesbian elements, more commonly known as Yuri, in adult life, and found an affinity with the genre. Friedman went on to become one of, if not the pioneering individuals in the world of Yuri. As I reminisce on these facts about a person who I so deeply admire and am lucky enough to consider a friend, it occurred to me that, while they adopted the Yuri, I was born into it. Although, funnily enough, my existence as a Yurijin (lit. Yuri Person, an inclusive term for Yuri fans) likely would not have been possible if not for Friedman’s support and love of Yuri, more on that later.

I am rather young. Depending on who you ask, I am either one of the last Millennials or one of the first members of Generation Z, although, like most labels, I find using either one of these titles arbitrary. However, I am always aware of how immense of a blessing my youth is. Yes, being young is fun and dandy, but I am referring to my upbringing's social implications. From a very early age, since before I could even talk, I was exposed to homosexuality as normalcy. I did not think anything of it until I started to grasp the more significant history and circumstance around terms such as “gay” when I was about nine years old. My godmothers are gay women, as are my brother’s. I remember attending their second wedding in 2004, shortly after same-sex marriage was officially legalized where we lived, and I thought nothing of it.

As previously implied, around late elementary school, I discovered that being gay was a distinct identity and had a more serious and complex history around it, one which I learned about but never experienced. I think more than anything, my blessed lack of conflict around sexuality has been my greatest asset. Growing up in a progressive era and the late ’90s and early 2000s, I was never harassed, bullied, or attacked for being queer or talking about LGBTQ politics and media. To this day, I still never “came out” because there was no need to, although I admittedly have never been much of one to put labels on my sexuality. I was always just, queer, and there was never an assumption otherwise. On a side note, there is no possible way for me to express the breadth of my gratitude to the generations who fought for LGBT rights.

The reader needs to understand that, just as I was fortunate to grow up in a bubble that treated where homosexuality normally, so too was I luckily able to experience Yuri at such a young age. By 2010 we were well into Yuri’s third major movement, a period I often refer to as the “Current Era” of Yuri, although “S Revival” may be a more apt description. Sailor Moon had already dominated both Western and Eastern culture (a craze I was ever too slightly young for), brought Yuri into the independent comics market, and exposed audiences to one of the first positive portrayals of a lesbian couple in Yuri.

Additionally, Revolutionary Girl Utena had smashed its way into the anime world, cementing itself as one of the most acclaimed and influential anime works of the 1990s and legitimizing lesbian storytelling in the medium. Most importantly for me, Oyuki Konno’s Maria Watches Over Us light novel series revived the Yuri genre's earliest tropes, known as Class S. Elements of S fiction, such as all-girls catholic schools, piano duets, and temporary lesbian-ish love would permeate the genre for the coming decades. These themes were eventually adopted and intensely exaggerated in the work that set me on the path of Yuri and transformed me into the “Holy Mother of Yuri.”

Furthermore, when I was in the early stages of life, Yuri was beginning to make its way Westward slowly. This expansion was thanks to the publishing arm of Erica Friedman’s organization Yuricon, ALC Publishing. ALC was founded in 2003 and started to publish the first Yuri manga in America, including the Yuri Monogatari series and Takashima Rica’s Rica’ tte Kanji!? A few years later, Seven Seas Entertainment started to published Yuri manga, such as The Last Uniform and Kashimashi: Girl Meets Girl. Around this team, thanks to the internet and anime’s growing popularity, anime and manga were more accessible than ever. Although Western Yuri publishing did not take off until the late 2010s, there was just enough of it readily available to create the perfect storm for my Yuri infection.

Shortly after I started to gain awareness of LGBTQ+ rights, identity, and… existence, I was exposed to my first Yuri, although I did not recognize it as such. My middle school library had an extensive collection of manga, including the Tokyopop adaptations of Strawberry Marshmallow. I never read them, but a friend did and talked with me about them. Curious, I went home and searched the title online and found that there were anime videos uploaded to YouTube, with each episode separated into three parts (this event was before I was aware of what piracy was and how harmful it is to creators). I watched all of them with my brother, and we had an absolute blast. To this day, Strawberry Marshmallow is one of our favorite series to watch together and have a huge laugh at.

Although Strawberry Marshmallow had subtle Yuri elements (this was before the 2009 OVA, which contained an actual kiss), I did not recognize them. However, this series led to my brother and I showing each other different anime series, in one of which I was very clearly able to see lesbian representation. I do not remember the exact year, but it must have been about 2010 when, sitting in our mother’s office waiting for her to finish with meetings, my brother pulled up an episode of Studio Madhouse’s Strawberry Panic anime and changed my life forever.

Part II of "Growing up Yurijin" is available to read as part of The Secret Garden series. The Secret Garden is YuriMother's exclusive series of monthly articles, available only for Patrons. If you want to access it and help support Yuri and LGBTQ+ content, subscribe to the YuriMother Patreon.

[bibbykins]

Heliophilic Rain and His Pluviophile (M)

Yikes, it’s been a hot minute. That’s my bad. I have been having it a little rough with my job and so I’m in the process of finding another one and that among a billion other things is slowing me down. Which makes me wonder if I were to open commissions if anyone would be interested? I also would like to add there is a scene that could be triggering so proceed with caution, please. Either way, thank you for your patience as always, and I hope you enjoy!

Pairing: (Soft) Yandere! Yoongi x Reader Genre: Smut/Fluff

Word Count: 8.5k

Warnings: possessiveness, yandere tendencies, anxiety, unspoken threat of sexual assault, slight violence, oral, penetrative sex, cock warming, toxic relationship (he's yandere ya kno)

Summary: He was the rain just as you were the sun, both too transfixed with watching each other to get any closer. Few things feel more refreshing than drops of fresh rain on heated skin or the warmth of the sun on a gloomy day. It would be a shame to not indulge in the natural wonders of the world before you.

“Her voice was like the wind. I could listen until it was all that filled me. I could listen until she swept me away into the vast ocean of her presence. I would drown if it meant I would drift back to her. Her voice was like the wind. No matter how much I tried to catch it, I would get carried away. Suddenly, I wasn’t in Kansas anymore. Suddenly, home was wherever she said it was, so long as she did so with that voice of hers.”

“His voice was like the tap of rain against a window. He was asking me to go out to see him, but there was something beautiful about the way I knew he wasn’t referring to me specifically. I was a mere onlooker to his presence. Even so, I would catch a cold if it meant I could reach him, even for a moment. I thought this, knowing I would never have the guts to go outside. I made peace with this until the taps on my window turned into knocks on my door.”

——-

The office had an industrial-chic style about it, filled with neutral tones and the clanging of chains for no other purpose except fashion donned upon its employees. The color palette was gloomy and soothing, just how Yoongi liked it, an aesthetic that his employees gleefully shared with him as well. Each morning, Yoongi would look out his office and admire his growing business, eyes never lingering on one place too long, he loved all of the office equally. This much rang true until he couldn’t tear his eyes away from your form.

“She’s like a breath of fresh air, isn’t she?” Hoseok placed his hand on Yoongi’s soldier as he watched you through the glass doors of the conference room you were currently introducing yourself in, “Don’t be too hard on her, she’s competent and hardworking, okay?” 

Yoongi could barely hear his friend as he lost himself in the way your eyes crinkled from a genuine smile adorning your face. You were his new host to one of the podcasts his company picked up. From the merger with Hoseok’s company full of his college friends, Yoongi went from popular podcast host and semi-popular producer to a CEO of Min Productions, famous music artists in production and performance,  who oversaw the production of music and several podcasts on several topics, and you were what he had initially dreaded.

From the merger, came money, but what also came with it was Namjoon, the PR head of the company Hoseok was a part of, being able to choose one of every five talents for Yoongi to build up, hopefully into fame. Yoongi had just reached his fifth host, the podcasts he chose mostly consisting of music commentary or general life talks from people with aesthetics aligned with his own. However, from the sea of neutral colors and low voices partaking in casual conversation came you.

You were a perky college senior with some light in your eyes still. You were a rare find and had no set style ranging anywhere from pastels to the grunge he was used to seeing, but what never changed was your smile. Your teeth made an appearance at least 10 times a day, judging by the third smile you had just flashed the crew in a two-minute time frame.

Your podcast, however, oddly betrayed your attitude. You ran a sex and lifestyle podcast where you asked questions most people were too shy to throw out into the world pertaining to the unspoken social rules of casual dating and sex. It was interesting, yes, but it didn’t align with the brand Yoongi had been building judging by the synopsis. 

The fuss he made to Namjoon ended as soon as he sat down and listened to a podcast of yours. 

—–

“I have a formal complaint I would like to file!” You proclaimed as Yoongi found himself listening to your most recent podcast, “Why the fuck can’t I get a sugar daddy my age? It’s almost like… like my age demographic consists mostly of broke-ass college kids living with their parents, in a dorm, or like ya girl, an overpriced apartment and not rich as fuck for no reason. Fucking whack, I’ll say it.” He unwittingly cracked a smile at your charm and sarcasm, “I spent one day on sugarbaby.com and had to watch vanilla straight porn at the number of wrinkly dicks I saw instead of profile pictures. That’s like the most boring porn. So here comes a Patreon plug for the brainwashing I will conduct on myself in case I saw anyone’s grandfather’s penis.” You had an unabashed charm about you that urged him to listen more, maybe just one more episode.

Yoongi found himself listening to your entire discography, even the less promoted music you released once every blue moon, which wasn’t half-bad. However, he couldn’t find a picture of you, most likely because you posted under the alias Sugar Sun. The only pictures of yourself being from behind.

“On this episode of men are trash: men are fucking trash. Hello all, Sugar Sun here, and let’s talk about my day,” Yoongi could feel his intrigue grow, as you kept releasing, your delivery became less forced and more natural, “I don’t talk much in class, believe it or not. I’m a stuttering mess and like two people know my name at my big ass university, so when I do talk and my shit hole of a lab partner yells at me in the middle of a presentation to speak up, I cry, in front of the class. But do I stop the presentation? No, I’m fucking frozen with fear, so I just continue with my tears and the presentation. Bitch, what the fuck I looked like a middle school drama kid doing a monologue in front of her math class for no fucking reason.” You took a deep breath, “In conclusion, I’m sensitive and men are trash. Now, to the podcast.”

You had gained more traction with your commentary on romantic life and general comedy, catching Namjoon’s attention, “Hello again, double S here, with a special announcement. I got like, an actual company to sign me! Wild, I know! I’ll get paid and have meet-ups and stuff, which means you lovely listeners will get to soak in my face and talk to me in person and really experience why the only orgasms I’ve had are self-made!”

—–

“Yoongi!” Hoseok tapped his shoulder, snapping him out of his trance you put him in.

“Sorry, she’s just-”

“Be nice,” Hoseok warned.

“Like sunshine.” Yoongi could feel the air enter his lungs as you sat down with a smile, “Like, what the fuck, Hobi?” 

His friend blinked, “Woah, shit, what?” He stifled a laugh, “You know, there isn’t a no-dating policy, right?”

“I’m well aware.” Yoongi rolled his eyes, “But there will be if anyone tries anything.” He spoke nonchalantly and Hoseok choked on air at his friend’s obliviousness while the glass doors of the conference rooms were opened, you pouring out from it, waltzing to Yoongi and Hoseok.

“Hello, Mr. Min and Ho-Mr. Jung, I’m Y/n, or Sugar Sun, thank you for this amazing opportunity.” You bowed as Hoseok shook off his bewilderment for just a moment to give you a small bow with Yoongi.

“I look forward to spending more time with you.” Yoongi spoke in his regular gruff voice, the same one that proclaimed to have your hand in marriage just moments before, “I find you’ll be a breath of fresh air to the company.”

“I also look forward to seeing how your podcasts go, you have a photoshoot in a couple weeks, right?” Hoseok smiled warmly at you as you beamed back to him. Yoongi swore the whole exchange was blinding.

“I do! I’m a little nervous, since it’ll be my big face reveal, and I don’t know how well I model.” You giggled and Yoongi found his new favorite song the moment you did.

Yoongi had a tendency to do this, whether or not he wanted to. He was a passionate man. He craved love and could see it coming from a mile away. Despite being one of the seven main heartthrobs of his college campus, he almost exclusively stuck to serious relationships, and he meant it when he said serious. Yoongi was a little, to put it lightly, obsessive. He was a jealous boyfriend, but he did his best to try not to be too overbearing. He was also excessively protective, and the women he dated were grungy free spirits who enjoyed the chase when all Yoongi wanted was to catch them then hold them for the rest of his life. Despite being blinded by his own passion, he could still see when it wasn’t going to last, having accepted to never find a girl to accommodate and sedate him when needed. However, when you looked his way, or he heard your voice, it was something more than a need being filled.

You felt your heart leap out of his chest, trying not to fall into Yoongi’s hands when you first saw him, and here he was, nonchalantly giving you an inkling of a smile. Maybe it was the lack of a solid fuck or a relationship, but you were definitely breaking some HR rules in your mind.

Suddenly, you became aware of the content you dished out. You talked about your sex life often, and he knows you’re inexperienced and terribly horny. You internally punched yourself in the face. He probably thinks you’re so weird. Yet, here you were, a huge fan of Agust D and now Min Yoongi was staring at you.

Yoongi smiled, “Don’t worry, I’ve had my experience with a face reveal or two.”

You returned his smile, remembering the day Agust D revealed his face. The whole world stopped, and you only fell deeper when you looked at his eyes, “I-I remember, I’m a fan.” You looked down shyly before facing him again.

“Funny, I am a fan of yours.” He spoke lowly as Hoseok had long walked away unnoticed.

You giggled stupidly, “A fan?” Your sunny smile beamed at him. He had always preferred rainy days, but if this was what the sun looked like, he could get used to being a little warm here and there, “I can hardly believe it.”

“I’m gone a lot and yet, your voice has a certain factor to it that draws people in. ” He mused as his eyes trapped you, “I wonder where you’ve been all my life.”

Just like that, the bubble popped. The chimes came to a screeching halt. The rose-tinted glasses were abruptly ripped off of your face. The magic cleared, and you were left with the realization that while you had damn near counted every interaction, no matter how minuscule, and he hadn’t cared to remember you until now.

“Here’s my personal cell,” He hands you a pristine card with silver numbers, “Call me if you need anything, and I mean it.” You take the card with a quaint smile that deflates

He’s never noticed you until now, of course. The answer to his thoughts was that you’ve been right here.

Before Yoongi could register the chill in the air without your smile, Hoseok came back, “Hey Yoongs, let’s go, we got a flight in a few hours.“ 

“Right.” Yoongi breaks eye contact with you.

“Have a good flight!” You smile, not as wide as before, and Yoongi sees it.

“See you Tuesday, y/n!” Hoseok waves.

“Don’t be late!” You giggle and as soon as they both are out of earshot, Yoongi grills him.

“You know her?!” Yoongi snaps as he enters the town car.

Hoseok blinks at him, confused, “Duh? I thought that was a given.” Upon seeing his friend’s puzzled face remain, Hoseok’s eyes went wide, “Holy shit, you don’t remember her?!”

The older male blinked in confusion, “I’ve never met her before?”

The younger businessman threw his head back as he placed his hands over his face in frustration, “She was in our forensics class and our history class last year’s fall semester and the year before!” He was exasperated, “Remember the super genius sophomore?”

Yoongi racked his brain. Last year? He had been dating some angsty theology major. How could he have let himself be blinded by a temporary fling when the love of his life was right there? He could kick himself at this moment. No wonder your smile faltered, you had remembered him, “Liar, you can’t be serious.”

“Dude, she tutors me to this day in history.” Hoseok deadpanned, “All she requires is I buy her meals that day.”

“How often do you guys have study dates?” Yoongi grits out as his friend snorts at the notion of it being a date.

“Your possessive is showing,” He snickered, “My girl is all I can see these days, no matter how cute y/n is.”

“I will end you if you touch her,” Yoongi doesn’t hesitate, “Especially with the way you treat girls,” His face scrunches in disgust before he grumbled, “But how often?”

“Every other Tuesday.” Hoseok smirked, “And you mean used to treat girls.” 

Yoongi huffed in agreeance.

—-

“Hello, party people.” Your voice entered Yoongi’s headphones as he leaned back on his hotel bed, “Sugar Sun here, in my bedroom. We’re calm, we’re casual, it is a Friday night and this one goes out to my fellow homebodies.” You switched off to play a song. Part of the contract you signed was that you are allowed to go live whenever you liked to encourage and tend to fans. You explained it was almost a tradition for you to set aside a Friday night in once a month for your fans and Yoongi found in comforting as he lay alone. 

Your taste in music was so unbelievably cute, he couldn’t help but smile at the lo-fi song, “And we’re back, hello all here and all who are joining as I speak. Today I took a tour of the studio my actual podcasts will be recorded in and holy shit, they seem to actually take me seriously as a personality and even artist, so expect some tunes soon.” Yoongi smiled at this, you don’t even know your potential, “I’m looking at the chat now to see if there are any questions, and- oh, yes, I did meet my boss. Yes, the iconic Min Yoongi. He is as dreamy as they say, but I have actually met him before.” Yoongi sunk a little further in shame, “Did he remember me?” You read from the chat, “No, of course not. I’m a voice, but no one will know me if I don’t use it.” You sighed out and he felt his heart clench. He was such a fucking idiot. “Which I don’t much beyond this mic. Am I scared to say this now that he’s my boss?” He held his breath a bit, “No, I doubt he’s listening. He said he was my fan, but he could just have said that to be a nice guy.” You laughed, a hint of sadness evident, “What a fucking disaster I must seem like if he were to, huh?” The sadness in your voice more prominent, “If he is, hi Mr. Min, please erase this from your memory, as well as my sophomore haircut.” 

The live went on as normal and Yoongi drifted to sleep to the melodious sound of your voice for the remainder of the flight. However, even in his dreams, you were just out of reach, and he couldn’t begin to put into words how much it killed him.

—-

You don’t know how you got here. You looked around at the shabby setup. This "photography studio” looked a lot, and you mean a lot, like it was a half-assed school set not long ago. You scoffed, throwing your hands up incredulously when you caught sight of a black couch. You really hated your manager.

The jackass was assigned to you and you were too scared to say how uncomfortable he made you. He treated you like a child, but the way he looked at you was too adult for your taste. He was constantly texting you and asking for photos of your face, which you were constantly rejecting. To top it all off, he wants you to call him Big Brother, not Oppa, Big Brother. You opted for Big Bro instead, since he won’t give you his name. No, to top it all off, he booked your photo shoot with a “friend” of his to “save the company money”. He asked you to show up in a dress no longer than your knees and you felt dumber and dumber as time went on for doing so. 

You stood in the middle of this studio-warehouse apartment waiting for this great photographer to show up. As you stood here, your initial thought was “how fucking ridiculous is that” but the longer you were there and the more you studied the ropes that were no longer as well hid, something in your stomach began to turn.

You were in actual fucking danger. This situation could not be a funny story if you didn’t live to tell it. Your eyes darted from different red flags in the room. A spot of dried blood scratches on the cheap wallpaper, bare plaster marks against the beige wall, a poorly-concealed camera you hadn’t noticed until now. Your chest squeezed when your phone vibrated. 

You could get out of here! All you had to do was send an SOS.

Hoseok: Good luck in the photoshoot from my other half and I! 

You smiled lovingly at the snapchat from the male, the more permanent girl in his life with a smile on her face and an encouraging thumbs-up. They were evidently on a date, finally, so there was no way you could call them to come get you. You would hate to bother them.

Mr. Min: Let me know how the shoot goes. 

You faltered over the message. He was professional as ever. Would he think less of you if you abandoned a shoot like this?

Yoongi agonized over the three dots that stared him down. He had to remind himself to blink as he watched the minutes tick by that felt like hours. What the hell were you typing?

It had been about a couple of weeks since you’ve been under Yoongi’s company and all had been normal. Your routine was the same, and so was his. Except for this time, you two would exchange polite texts on what the other would do.

Sugar Sun: Great song as always!

You would always send exclamation points or some sparkle emojis, even a sun here and there. Yoongi found himself unable to shield his cheesy grin at the texts you sent him. You were always the first person to praise his new work. He found himself craving your praise more and more, but he forced himself to remain professional.

Mr. Min: Loved your live.

He always used punctuation despite using fragments which somehow added an aura of professionalism that he effortlessly radiated in person. Nevertheless, you would always send back a sparkly thank you which made Yoongi melt. He prided himself on not overstepping boundaries by attempting to control your professional life. His self-restraint proved quite strong as he held himself back from taking you out to lunch or giving you special treatment. This restraint was put to the ultimate test when he found out you were assigned Hyungin as your manager. He was an unfortunate employee with constant reports that would ultimately be rescinded by the female employees.

He was a disgusting piece of shit, Yoongi deduced. Hyungin was the brother of the management agency contracted by his company, per Namjoon’s damn insistence,  and he was itching for that contract to end, and soon. Yoongi had to physically hold himself back when he found this information out, trying to respect you by not meddling or keeping tabs on you.

His resolve was a very thin string that was tugged and tugged as the days went on with Hyungin having total control over your schedule and an excuse to contact you 24/7. You were a strong girl and had not made a report. He had to respect that. 

Your lip began to twitch, a movement you quickly halted as you shook the fear off. Maybe you were overreacting. Maybe you were being stuck up. You weren’t like Yoongi, maybe you had to photoshoot in shabby places.

You: I’m kind of scared…

You shook your head, erasing the message and locking your phone. You huffed, it was 30 minutes past the scheduled time. Surely you had the right to leave? You heard the back door open and could feel the bile lurch in your throat.

Something was very wrong. You were not overreacting. There were several heavy footsteps and as they thudded through the warehouse, nearing your reaching form, you could not deny the quaking fear that traveled through your veins like electricity.

One? Two? No, four sets of steps. The uneven rhythm proved as much, too many for a measly photoshoot. Too many for you to take on all at once. The correct amount to hold you down. The correct amount to-

“Little sis, are you here?” A sickening voice called out and you realized the steps stopped with only his continuing. 

He was trying to surprise you. 

“Come on, dear, let’s get to know each other.” You could hear the predatory smirk on his face and you choked on a horrified breath as the fear pricked your skin and pierced your lungs.

You were choking on your own horror.

“Come out, come out,” He called and you were frozen, absolutely fucking frozen. 

Run.

You stood up, breaking into a sprint that was a hair too slow. You felt a calloused, obscenely rough handgrip your forearm with a vigorous force and you screamed. He was squeezing, and at this rate, your bones would surely snap, “Not so fast, little girl.” He stood next to you, breath pungent with halitosis. From peripheral vision, you could see his five o'clock shadow and you realized the size difference and the lack of camera. You couldn’t stop screaming, mimicking every cell in your body that seemed to yell,

RUN.

Just like lightning, you struck him with your head, harder than you knew you could stand. His nose gave you an all too satisfying crack and his grip loosened enough for you sprint again, this time more than quick enough to keep going. You heard the clamoring of footsteps and eventually, all you could hear was the sound of the wind as you turned corners you had no familiarity with, running until your legs could no longer carry you. 

Your legs finally shook you down to your knees in a part of town you barely recognized. You had passed through here once before as a freshman in college sight-seeing. It was a tourist spot and you exhaled on the sidewall as people stepped around you.

You heaved a breath that you swore you had been holding for hours with a small victorious smile. Your eyes scanned the area of regular people and your hands shaking brought attention to the purse you thankfully still had.

Without thought, you ripped it open, using your phone to call the first person you could.

“Y/n?” His voice was gruff, as if he was whispering whilst trying to talk normally, “Is everything okay?” He seemed confused, you had never called him before.

“Can you… uh…” You faltered after realizing the strangled sound you made, voice raw from the screams you let out, “…please come get me.” You nearly whispered.

“Send me your location, I’m on my way.” Yoongi didn’t miss a beat before adding, “Stay where you are, don’t go near anyone.” He ended the phone call and you followed his directions, dropping your pin. You sighed in relief as you took refuge on the sidewalk, draping the cardigan in your bag over your shoulder, securing it around yourself.

Yoongi shot up from his office chair, looking at his employees mid-powerpoint. His marketing team turned into ice at his gaze. His eyes were much darker than a moment ago, and his jaw was like stone, “I have an emergency to attend to, we will proceed at a later date.” The room nodded stiffly as their boss walked out, all of them unaware why, having been too scared to even try to listen to his phone call.

Never in Yoongi’s life had he sped so recklessly. You were 10 minutes away and something was wrong. Your voice had never sounded so vulnerable. He had never heard it that quiet before. You were in a plaza of popular building, and if you had a photo shoot today, this would not be near any studio at all. His blood boiled at the thought of anyone taking away your light.

He slammed on the brakes when he caught sight of your shrunken form on the sidewalk, your head jerked up at the sound as your entire body jumped. Why were you so scared? Your face had a small streak of makeup on the side of your face and his skin only flared as you scurried into the car and Yoongi began driving to a more familiar side of town.

“Please don’t take me home.” You pleaded, unable to face him due to the shame.

Yoongi chose not to prod, for the time being, only nodding in response as he drove. He could see you stare out the window at the passing building and he watched your shaking for curl into the car seat. He settled on this resolve of leaving you alone all the way up to the inside of his apartment until your lip quivered as you plopped down on the couch, eyes unwavering from its spot at your feet. Then, you began to cry. No, not cry, sob, sob your hardest and just like that, a single tear snapped the ever-thinning string of restraint he had left.

You were pulled into Yoongi’s chest as sobs racked through your body, you clutched his shirt as you soaked it with tears of fear, relief, joy, and you couldn’t stop. Hell, you could barely breathe. Even so, Yoongi held you as his expensive dress shirt crumbled under your grip and stained with your mascara and eyeliner proving not to be as water-resistant as you hoped. His grip was unwavering and when a hand went to stroke your hair, you could feel oxygen reach your lungs again. 

“It’s okay.” He breathed, “You’re safe now.” He fought the urge to clench his jaw again as you gripped his shirt harder.

Your breathing began to even as he whispered soft words into your ear until your eyes couldn’t cry anymore. The both of you stood there for what felt like an eternity, clinging onto one another as he felt the softness of your cardigan against his hands. You eventually broke the silence with a meek, “I’m so sorry." 

"Why is that?” He spoke softly, his last intent was to scare you.

“I ran away from the shoot, and I know it’s not professional but…” You shivered, “ He didn’t have a camera.” Yoongi could kill somebody, “He had three other guys with him.” Someone, no, all of them are going to have to pay, he concluded. Nobody involved would leave the ordeal with their lives intact. They would lose everything for trying to take his sunshine away, for making your light falter, for even a moment.

He ripped himself from you, to sternly meet your eyes, “Do not apologize for the swine you encountered.” Your eyes only reflected sorrow, “You’re alive, and that is what matters most, okay?” You nodded.

“You’re not mad at me?” Your voice cracked against your will as you looked up at Yoongi, eyes glassy and begging for reassurance.

He visibly softened, “No, Sunshine, I could never be mad at you.” You nodded in understanding, “But will you let me fix this for you?”

Maybe you should have known from the beginning. You looked at Yoongi, so eager to be your saving grace, eyes intense with intent, and yet his touch was so soft. A man in love was a dangerous man, you once read in a book. Yet, never in your life have you craved such a man before, and if Yoongi’s rage mixed with infatuation could measure close to love, you would take it. He was powerful, he was kind, and he was pleasing to the eye. He was offering you the world in that one question.

“Please.” You cast your pride aside, “They don’t deserve mercy.” An angry tear went down your cheek, “I’m so tired of trying to brave it, doubting myself, denying myself any chance of help.” You could feel the tear trickle with hot fury, “I’m so fucking sick of relying on myself.”

Yoongi was quick to catch the tear with the softest hand you’ve ever felt, “I’m here now.” He spoke with the utmost confidence.

Your relationship with Yoongi from that point for the next couple of months was interesting, to say the least. You had somehow moved in upon his request, him rationalizing it by saying they knew where you lived. Granted, he wasn’t wrong. Hyungin knew where you lived, but within two weeks he and the monsters you encountered were promptly locked in a very dangerous maximum-security prison. You decided not to dwell on how they took such a shitty deal with a well-deserved long sentence. 

Some things were above your pay grade, and you made peace with it.

Even so, he didn’t stop there. He could no longer stand on the sidelines anymore. That line blurred beyond recognition the moment he held you in his arms. He was essentially your new manager, stating he owed you at least that much after letting you fall into the hands of such a monster. Thankfully, the releasing of official statements and press conferences were received well. The victim-blaming for the nature of your podcast kept to an obsolete minimum. Your face still had not been released upon your request and you were able to move on, the media no longer covering the story as the sentencing was sealed.

The months passed in a flurry of Yoongi being awfully vague each time you asked about his personal life. He was constantly home outside of work, which you didn’t mind, but you didn’t want him to put his social life on your accord. You also had much less confidence in his infatuation for you then you did a couple months ago. Every time you tried to make a move, which meant a small brush of physical contact, he was not responding. The last time he gave you affection was the hug during your breakdown. The most you got out of him were a couple of head pats.

Like that did anything for you.

For crying out loud, you ran a sex and lifestyle podcast with no sex from the hot man you lived in the same home as.

Hell, the most emotion you see from him is the purest politeness you have ever encountered.

“Hello my listeners, welcome to the obligatory virginity talk.” Your voice was crisp in the mic as Yoongi laid in his bed, headphones in, listening to the newly released podcast. He was still a loyal listener, despite you living in his guest bedroom. He still could not get enough of your voice. If anything, he craved you more and desperately held himself back. He loved having you with him, but never did he think he would have to turn to rubbing one out during your more racy episodes or when he heard you pleasuring yourself in the dead of night. 

Not even his thoughts could satiate him with you right there, and yet, out of reach.

“It has come to my attention that many of you think I’m a virgin, not that it’s an insult..” He could hear the smile in your voice, “Alas, I am not, but that doesn’t change my hand being the most impressive thing my pussy has seen, I’ll tell you what.” You giggled at this, “No, I take that back, my magic wand is my BFF.” Yoongi shifted, wondering if you had your toys in your room. He had sent for all of your things after all. God, he could already feel his dick hardening. How pathetic you make him at the very thought of you fucking yourself silly, eyes rolled back, vibrator against your clit. He huffed, shaking away the thoughts, “ Anyhow, let’s talk trends I am late to, rare, I know, but what’s this whole spelling coconut with your hips riding someone business?” You pondered, “I haven’t ridden someone in a good while, and my dildo can’t tell me if it feels good, so I’m at a loss here.” You sighed almost longingly, “God, I miss getting fucked, but also romanced,” You groaned, “It’s been a rough as fuck dry couple of months, which didn’t bother me for a while considering… you know, but the world keeps turning and I stay alone but moving on…” You droned and Yoongi went into overdrive.

Did you seriously want to fuck someone? Like someone else? You were living with him now, why would you feel the need to have relations with anyone else? His fists clenched at the very concept. You couldn’t be talking for show, you were say too genuine. Before he could even stop himself, he marched over to his bedroom door, ripping it open.

Only when he did had did he realize that you were in front of him, hand raised to knock on the door, “Oh, hey.” You gave him a smile as you slowly retreated your raised arm, “I was just gonna see if you wanted to watch a movie with me?” Every so often you both would have a movie night in which you would try to understand his feelings with small touches and ultimately fail. Nevertheless, you enjoyed his company. Today, you were buying into an article’s advice and watching a scary one. Not that you were terrified, but you were a jumpy person. 

At this rate, you couldn’t tell if you were horny or just wanted affection.

Both, probably.

Your crush on Yoongi had only worsened throughout this whole experience to top it off. He was hot and kind who could blame you? And yet, he never made a single move as if he had no interest. God, what if he didn’t have any interest?

Your heart sank for a moment, “If not, I think I was gonna try to go out-”

“No!” Your eyes widened at Yoongi’s panicked tone when he cleared his throat, “I mean, I want to watch a movie, so you don’t have to go out.” He muttered and you nodded slowly. He could not have you going out, not after what he heard. You were craving other people. He couldn’t bear the thought.

“O…kay…” You smiled a bit, “Well, I picked a scary one if you think you can hang.” You gave him a sly smile before going to make popcorn. 

He smiled as he watched you prance to the kitchen. You were so beautiful and fun and everything he’s ever needed. All that was left was for you to be his, but he didn’t want to scare you away. He had to be a gentleman. He had to wait for the right time. That’s what Jin, Jimin, Jungkook, and Taehyung said. The only issue was that he had no idea what the hell that meant.

“You know, Mr. Min-”

“Yoongi.” He was quick as ever to correct you, “Please.” He sounded more desperate than usual and you nodded.

“Right, well I was just going to say that you have absurd taste in snacks.” You said with a chuckle, “All I ever see in you cupboards are coffee.” You wistfully sigh, “I need to go grocery shopping.”

The sound of you being so domestic-made Yoongi break into an ill-concealed smile as he settled onto the sofa, setting the oddly scary movie you chose up, “I can take you on Saturday.” You nodded when you finally found a bag of chips and sat next to the man of your affection with a cushion between the two of you.

You really couldn’t say what the movie was about, you had only seen it between the gaps in your fingers all while Yoongi watched it with a straight face. When it ended he said a short goodnight as always, except something in you, lurched out. 

“Actually, I think I may go out after all.” You swore you followed your mouth’s lead as opposed to the opposite. You just said shit and had to go along with it. Fuck, you didn’t want to go out. You wanted to stay home and be scared that there was a ghost in the closet, but now you had to get ready and shit.

“Why?” Yoongi stopped, hand gripping his door handle much harder than usual. 

You were taken aback by the question. It was valid, you supposed. But was it? How do you even answer that question? “Well, it’s been a while since I've… ya know…” You clicked your tongue, suddenly too shy to say,

“Had sex?” It was so blunt, and his eyes pierced through you and yet, you could feel your core tingle.

You were nothing but a sputtering mess, “W-W, I-I, Mr. Min-”

“Yoongi, y/n.” He spoke through gritted teeth as he stalked over to you. Despite the unconscious steps back you were taking, the couch brought you to an abrupt stop.

“R-Right, anyways, I-” You shut your mouth when Yoongi hovered over you with his presence alone.

“Say it,” He glared daggers into your form, “Say my name.” Before you could even open your mouth Yoongi groaned, slamming his hands on the couch on either side of you in frustration, “God, why do you want other people when I’m right fucking here?” Your mouth was agape at this, “I’m so sick of holding myself back.” He cursed, body pressing against yours.

“What do you mean? Other people?” You mustered and Yoongi let out a chuckle void of humor.

“I listened to your podcast about wanting to be with someone and getting romance and…” Yoongi seriously thought you had been referring to anyone but him? Him? Seriously? The hot man in the place you live? You couldn’t stifle your laugh which caused his rant to falter, “How is this a laughing matter I am-”

“So fucking dense.” You giggled, “I’ve wanted you to at least look my way for the past three years, and you seriously think I want to be with other people?!” You sighed, “I live with you for fuck’s sake, and you won’t touch me!” Now, you were letting your frustrations out, “I brush your hand, I touch thighs with you, I-I  scare the shit out of myself hoping you’ll at least hold me!” You heaved a breath, “And all you do is stay still!” You let out a frustrated yell, “The most attention I got from you was when I was almost attacked, is that what I need to do to draw sap from a fucking rock?!”

Yoongi flared at this, “Don’t ever think about putting yourself in danger.” He pointed at you, “I couldn’t take it, and I can’t take you not being honest with me, I thought you never noticed-” He was being a hypocrite, but he didn’t care.

“How could you say I don’t notice you when you straight up forgot I existed until this year?!” Yoongi was the one dumbfounded this time, and you took your chance to push past him, “I will go out tonight because I deserve-”

You couldn’t even breathe the next syllable before your back hit Yoongi’s bedroom door, his hands pinning your wrists above your own, the man breathing heavy. The air was thick with frustration as he gave you a stern look, “You deserve the world, I know,” The anger in you began to dissipate at his sincerity in his words, “And I am so in love with you, that I don’t think I’m worthy of giving it to you,” Your breath hitched at this, “But I don’t care anymore, because I would sooner kill someone before they put their hands on you, I’m sure you know I mean business, Sunshine?” You nodded, every cell in your body springing to life as Yoongi drew his lips closer to you, “So?”

You blew out a shaky breath with an equally shaky smile, “L-Love me? I-" 

"Say you love me, and I’ll do it.” He was more rushed this time, urgent almost, “I’ll stop holding back, and I will give you all that you deserve and so, so much more.” He was almost pleading.

What the fuck do you know about love? What does it look like? Sound like? Is it the way Yoongi smiles at your dumb jokes in the morning? Is it the way his voice sounds through the walls as he practices newly-written lyrics? He was a good man to you. He was an attractive man. He could give you the world, and all he wanted in return was your love. Could all of this be love? Could it be the way he’s made you feel the past couple of years, especially the last couple of months? 

Well, why the hell wouldn’t it be?

“I love you, Yoongi.” You breathed against his lips and he didn’t miss a beat in closing the gap so not even air could come between the two of you.

Electrifying all over again, but so, so different. This wasn’t fear. This was lust lighting a fire within you that Yoongi only stoked further as his silky tongue tangled with yours in a flurry of repressed emotions and endless unspoken confessions. His mouth attached to your neck and you let out a moan, quickly going to cover your mouth. 

He ripped your hand away almost instantly, “You’re rarely this shy when you’re in your room, why deny me your sounds now?” He growled against your ear and the pure sex in his voice only made you moan louder. He was the rain you had admired from afar, but now he was pressed against you, and holy shit, were you getting wet.

“Yoongi, I don’t know if I can wait, I want to cum so fucking ba-ah!” You yelped when his hand went to cup your sex under the long shirt you always wore. You were on your tippy-toes, too sensitive to press your full weight onto him.

“Such an innocent-looking girl with such a nasty mouth.” He squeezed you in his hand and watched in glory as your eyes rolled back, “Since you’re a fan, I’ll be nice.” He teased as he got onto his knees, dragging your panties down with him to the floor.

“Oh shit.” You let out a breath that was quickly stolen when his tongue pressed against your entry. He lifted your leg, placing it over his shoulder as his mouth lapped at your clit and you lost yourself in the feeling, moaning mindlessly.

“You taste like deliverance.” He mumbled against your pussy and this only made your eyes roll back at the eroticism in his words. You couldn’t even keep track of what he was doing anymore.

All you could do was feel. His tongue fucked you into oblivion as he held your hips still, determined to make you come with his mouth, and his mouth alone. He let out a lewd suck and you quivered at the sensation and action. He knew how to play you and please you that you did. His tongue entered you again and he let out a delicious moan which vibrated against your folds, “Fuck, you sound and feel so fucking good!” You cried out as his tongue made thick strokes against you that only sped up expertly as he moaned into you, “Can I cum, Yoongi?” You asked, a smart girl, he concluded. He smirked against you, full intention to deny your request until, “Please, my love, I want to cum in your mouth like a good girl.” You begged pathetically and he couldn’t refuse you. You had him wrapped around your finger and hardly knew it. He got to work quickly, tongue entering you again only to flick upwards and you groaned at this. Groans were quickly replaced by increased screaming as he stiffened his tongue and licked all around your sex. You began to scream his name like a mantra as you tighten around the muscle and came the hardest you ever had.

You slumped against the door, chest heaving, “You okay, baby?” The nickname from him elicited a tired smile. You looked down at the man, lips glossy as he licked them. He sat back on his calves and you wasted no time in diving at him on the floor.

Before he could react, you gripped him through his sweatpants and smiled when you realized he was rock hard, “Can I please ride you?” You looked up at him through your eyelashes and he knew he couldn’t possibly say no.

“Your wish is my command, sunshine.” He growled when you straddle him as he sat, legs spread and back against the back of the couch now. You gave a less than innocent smile as you reached for his member, delicate hands wrapping around him, only to pull it free and closer to your entrance, “Condom?” He questioned.

“Pill, I need to feel you, fuck.” You panted, against logical judgment, but it was lost when you pressed the head against your own entrance, “Shit.” You ground against Yoongi as his head lolled back.

He could hardly handle it as your hips twirled, the tip just outside your entrance. Finally, he had enough, and with strong hands pulled your hips to fill you to the hilt. Your mouth popped open in shock and pure masochistic delight as the pain only added to the high of lust Yoongi gave you, “Sorry, baby girl, I knew you would feel so fucking good.” He emphasized this with a thrust up, “Plus, I could hardly resist being deep inside you immediately.” He growled in sadistic pride as your face twisted in pain and pleasure.

“Hurts so good.” Your hips moved spastically, chasing another high with Yoongi deep inside you. Not once did you lift your hips. You wanted to stay full, and Yoongi was more than happy to oblige, “So good, I wanna stay like this.” You moaned out as he sucked on your neck, hands going under your shirt to grip your breasts with a fevor you craved.

“You feel like heaven.” He grunted against your neck as he littered it with hickey after hickey. You were his and the way you squeezed around him and clawed at his shoulder only spurred him further. 

Yoongi could feel himself twitching inside you and this only made you gasp as you gleefully squeezed around him, “Yes, yes,” You sounded like a prayer to him, “Cum inside me, I need it.” You were nearly screaming as he began to thrust into you at a rapid pace.

“Yeah? You want me to paint those pretty walls white, hm?” He teased you despite the strain in his voice, “Fuck it right into that pretty pussy of yours, no mine.” He grabbed your hips, working your body for his own high, “This is my pussy, isn’t it?" 

"Yes, it’s all yours, Yoongi!” You yelled and with that, he groaned as he came, ropes of cum that you could feel as his hips made good of his promise to fuck it into you. You milked him as you squeezed tighter before coming undone as you came with a scream that sounded like the next symphonic masterpiece to the fucked out man inside you.

You huffed a small chuckle against his neck as your curled your form around his, “So needy.” He teased as he went to remove himself inside of you only to be met with a squeeze from you that made him curse, “You’re gonna kill me, I swear.”

You giggled, “I like how you feel inside of me.” You shrugged before shivering at the empty feeling only to gasp when three fingers were shoved into you. You wiggled in glee, “Fuck.” Your breath hot against his neck.

 "You just like to be full, huh baby?“ You nodded shyly, "You’re perfect.” He chuckled as he used his other hand to stroke your back.

—-

“Announcement time, my dear listeners” You spoke in the studio, trying not to sound like it was through gritted teeth. You counted your blessings that you were alone, “As you know, your dear old Sugar Sun has promised a face reveal and I-Min Yoongi!” Well, mostly alone. You heaved a breath as you came against his mouth for the third time.

The man between your legs looked up at you, eyes way too innocent, “What? I’m waiting for my part.” He spoke nonchalantly despite the wetness on his lips.

“I’ll never get there if you keep making me cum and start over.” You glared and the man shrugged, “I got far enough, right, babe?” You pouted and watched his resolve crack, “Honeypie?” You pleaded and he faltered, “Love of my life?” He grumbled as he sat up next to you in front of the mic.

“Fine, go ahead.” He licked his lips.

“…and I decided to go a step further.” You smiled as the man next to you held your hand, “I will be doing a photoshoot to reveal my face and my collab partner to an upcoming song and my boyfriend…”

You looked to him, eyes twinkling, “That would be my cue.” He placed a quiet kiss on your head, “My name is Min Yoongi or Agust D as some of you may know, and I look forward to my career and life with this little piece of sunshine.” You giggled at this.

“So cheesy.” You gave him a bright smile nonetheless, “Crazy news, I know, but I secured the fucking bag, my dear listeners, he’s never getting rid of me." 

You were joking for the most part, but you didn’t know how right you were. You would not be away from him any longer. You were his sunshine, his little songbird, and his world all at the same time. He needed you like he needed to breathe. Now, you were his. You were his sunshine despite the rain he embodied. The rainbow between the two of you was too intoxicating to even bear the idea of giving it up. Even for a fraction of second. You were his. Every moment, minute, second, everything would be together. He was yours now and forever just as you were his. Blissfully and eternally in love.

"I’m too crazy to let go now.” You laughed as he kissed your temple affectionately.

So was he.

Buy me a ko-fi (it would make my day) 

Masterlist

[ibelieveinahappilyeverafter]

Writing Commission - Where I Want To Be - Chapter Five

Summary: Yamada Hizashi, better known as the Voice Hero Present Mic, is a busy man. He has classes and students to teach English to, an agency that always seemed to be in the middle of a disaster to help deal with, and a radio station that was one bad show away from being cancelled to run. He doesn’t have time for a bad day triggered by nightmares and fears and anxieties that just never seem to stop.

Luckily for him, his partners are Aizawa Shouta and Yagi Toshinori and neither of those two are very good at leaving Hizashi to suffer alone.

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia    

Relationship: Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic/Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic/Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Yagi Toshinori | All Might

Characters: Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Yagi Toshinori | All Might

Rating: Teen Audiences

Word Count: 29,323

Transaction Amount: $200 (USD)

WARNINGS FOR: Past childhood abuse (both emotional and physical) and anxiety attacks verging on panic to PTSD episodes. Please read with caution if needed.

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                                          Chapter Index

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On the average day Hizashi loved his agency. It was bright, and loud, and full of sound and laughter and life and, more often than not, it reminded him of just why he had become a hero in the first place. It was a place where, no matter what, he knew he was making a difference -- however small it might be. 

Hizashi did not love his agency when he was having a rough day, however. His aching head, already pounding from a headache that was quickly starting to edge into migraine levels, screamed in pain at everything that was going on. He knew, without a doubt, that if he removed his sunglasses for even a second then it would be just enough to kick him into a sensory overload. Even with his hearing aids turned down it was still, well… 

Gaggles and groups of interns were dashing across the main lobby and disappearing into elevators or hallways, harried lawyers who looked one bad moment away from a breakdown were rushing to elevators with files upon files of paperwork, engineers and designers for their in-house support equipment were lugging around large crates and yelling every time someone stepped in their path, and overall it was like Hizashi had walked into hell.

He couldn’t help the half-step he took back towards the door that he was still holding open. The urge to just turn around and head back home where he knew Shouta and Toshinori would be was overwhelming. He knew he would never do it, though. As much as he would love to skip out on an agency day, he had far too much paperwork to get done. Not to mention he had way too many interns and sidekicks to corral to even attempt leaving. 

Besides, the wonderful, but terrifying woman who ran the front desk had already seen him. She was typically cheerful, but considering the chaos of everything, she was looking at Hizashi as if daring him to try and leave. It was a look that, the longer he stood there, was morphing into one of murderous rage and, considering she was the linchpin that kept his agency from collapsing, Hizashi decided to hustle his way inside. He wasn’t sure if he feared murder from her more, or her quitting on them. Probably the latter, all things considered. 

She at least seemed mollified when she saw Hizashi heading towards the elevators, but he noticed a quick glimpse of concern on her face. It was enough to have him resisting the urge to groan. If she could tell he was having an off day from just one look at him from so far away, then he didn’t have high hopes for nobody else noticing. He did work with pro-heroes, after all.

He at least had hope that the day might just look busy but would actually be slow. Those hopes were soon crushed and Hizashi knew exactly what sort of day it would be when two lawyers converged on him before he could even step inside the elevator. “Yamada-san! Here are the files concerning the last three major incidents during your patrols. This includes the altercation at the Mitsuya building.” Ah, right. The mall that had almost been destroyed by a couple of pricks with a grudge against… capitalism? Hizashi hadn’t really been sure. 

“Thank you, Heartfilia-san,” Hizashi sighed, accepting the files and trying not to flinch at how heavy they felt. No one had ever warned him as a kid just how much paperwork was involved with being a pro hero -- especially a public pro hero who had to worry about things like property damage. Pushing his sigh back, Hizashi looked to the other lawyer. “Nozu-san? How’s everything regarding the last raid we did?”

The apologetic look on the man’s face had Hizashi closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He felt his head pound in tune with his urges to just drop everything and scream. Nozu seemed to realize he was close to losing it, because he was quick to add, “It could certainly be worse, Present Mic, sir.” 

“Let me guess, it could always be better?” The thick file Hizashi was handed made him bitterly regret his decision to not just remain as a sidekick for the rest of his days. Even if his life had been hell as a sidekick and he would have long since been dead, he wouldn’t have so much paperwork. “What’s the deadline for getting this in?”

“Well, that’s where the good news comes in,” Nozu perked up, looking delighted to have some good news to share. Hizashi couldn’t blame him. “In a typical case like this we would need to have everything submitted in two days in order for all criminals to be properly and legally charged and contained-”

“Two days?!” Hizashi was having a heart attack. He was going to die. He was just going to drop dead and let his skull split open from his migraine and allow his anxiety to eat him alive. It would be better than two days-

“In a typical case! This isn’t typical! We have more time!” While Nozu explained in a panic, Heartfilia gave a soft snort of laughter, looking as tired as Hizashi felt. The man had no doubt been pulling double and triple shifts.

“Next time?” Heartfilia spoke up, “Lead with that.” Hizashi couldn’t help but agree because, wow, yeah… He hadn’t thought his day could have gotten worse, and yet. “At least it’s not two days considering how much of a shitshow that case was. How much time?”

“One week from today,” Nozu sighed, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Sorry, sir, for the scare. Thankfully one of the criminals that were caught slipped up enough that he’s being suspected as being part of a string of other crimes and robberies. We’ve been given extra time to complete things on our end while the court looks into it.”

Alright. Hizashi could handle dealing with a case like this in a week, at least. Closing his eyes and wincing at the pounding in his head, Hizashi swallowed and forced himself to keep it together as he nodded at the two, “Alright. I’ll get this all filled out and drop it back off with Crow-san. Anything else?”

Nozu shook his head rapidly, still young and new enough to be just the tiniest bit starstruck. Heartfilia, who had been stuck dealing with him for years, shook his head, “Just get some rest before you drive yourself into the ground. Again.” 

“Ha, ha,” Hizashi responded dryly. “You’re hilarious, truly. I can see the career in comedy already.” Hizashi pressed a button to call the elevator, looking over his shoulder as he waited for it to arrive. “Anything else?” 

“Yeah,” Heartfilia smirked, crossing his arms with too smug of an expression. “Ito-san is looking for you.” Fuck. The ding of the elevator was the only thing that stopped him from actually letting slip a few curses.

“I hate you,” Hizashi called as he pressed the floor for media relations, shutting his eyes and swallowing around the heavy, clogged feeling in his throat. The only thing keeping him even relatively sane was the fact he could and was still talking. Then again, if his migraine got much worse his quirk would start slipping, and if that happened then he could hurt people, and if his quirk was out of control then he was dangerous-

“Oh, hello, Yamada-san.” Startling at his name and trying not to show it, and realizing the elevator had stopped and opened its doors for him, Hizashi looked down at one of Ito’s interns. “Ito-san is waiting for you in her office.” 

Mumbling a quick thanks, Hizashi headed towards Ito’s office, wincing at some of the sympathetic looks he was being given. That never meant good things and today, of all days, Hizashi wasn’t sure if he could handle whatever news Ito had for him. As his media and public relations manager, she was in charge of making sure he had a good image when it came to the general public. It didn’t always go well.

Clutching the files he had been forced to take, Hizashi half-wondered if he could use them as an impromptu shield or weapon as he cleared his throat, knocked, and cracked open the door, “Good afternoon, Ito-san, Japan’s finest and best-”

“Save it.” The barked order had Hizashi snapping his mouth shut at once, and, yeah. It was definitely that sort of day. “Sit your ass down and explain to me why I have three media outlets trying to get comments on the fact that you got into a fist fight at a bar of all places.” Ah… Ah, right. Hizashi had almost forgotten about that. 

Hovering by the door and debating escape for a moment, Hizashi finally slipped in and took a seat as far away from Ito as he could get. It didn’t feel like it helped him very much, Ito taking a seat behind her own desk and simply staring at him. It was her favorite intimidating tactic and, unfortunately for Hizashi, it often worked.

Finally, after eons had passed, Ito braced her elbows on the desk and laced her fingers together, pushing out a long sigh that made guilt claw at his chest. Hizashi wasn’t exactly sure what he was guilty for, but the guilt was there all the same.

“Alright, Yamada.” Ito’s eyes, which had fluttered shut for a moment, snapped open and gave him a look that was as cold as ice. “Explain to me why I shouldn’t let you deal with this mess on your own.”

Blanching, Hizashi tried not to fully flinch away, instead roughly clearing his throat, and, alright. He was good with words. He was a language teacher, after all. “Well… If you think about it, I was off-duty at the time-”

“You were still wearing your full uniform and all of your support equipment,” Ito interrupted, eyes radiating her hatred and ire perfectly. “I have over a dozen unique photos from social media accounts of you, Present Mic, in a fist fight with a member of the public at a bar. It’s already spread rapidly across the top three social media sites and is gaining traction on another two sites as we speak.”

Ito paused, taking in a breath. The pause, Hizashi figured, was more terrifying than her anger. “Now, I want an explanation -- and not your media explanation for which I will give you something that you will repeat word-for-word. No. I want your honest explanation as to what stupidity went through your head when you thought you could just-”

“He was drugging a girl’s drink.” Hizashi braced for something to be thrown at him, waiting nervously before Ito, silent, gave a nod for him to continue. “I had just finished up my patrol and I stopped by that bar to talk to the owner about some of my contacts and some people I had on watch. I noticed that the bastard I punched had been flirting with someone who was pretty unreceptive and, when she wasn’t looking, he slipped a powder into her drink that dissolved immediately.

“The girl was about to drink from her cup as an excuse to not talk to him, so I snatched it from her and then confronted the asshole about the little addition to the cup. It, uh… It didn’t remain much of a civil conversation for long.” Hizashi, still seeing the displeasure, hopefully added, “I didn’t throw the first punch?”

There was a long, long moment of silence, Ito narrowing her eyes at him before giving a single nod that had Hizashi almost collapsing in relief. “I’ll deal with it, in that case. Can the owner or bartender confirm your story and the events?”

“Of course! I should have both their numbers. They offered ‘em up when they realized what went down and are willing to act as witnesses.” Hizashi knew he was in the clear when Ito looked pleased, some of the manic tension bleeding out of her. She really deserved a vacation soon. “So… public image?”

Ito looked down at her scattering of papers and forms, shoving a few to the floor before pulling some out of her drawer. It was an effort to not laugh. “Not the best, but not the worst, either. With that bar fight, now that I know the truth, I can spin it to get you some positive attention for a week or two, at least.”

Hizashi watched as Ito scattered around a few more papers before pulling another out of a pile, “The Mitsuya Mall, as I don’t need to tell you, was an utter disaster.” Yeah, it had… definitely not ended well when it came to property damage. “Thankfully no one was hurt, so that makes the outcome more positive on the overall. Your show’s doing well, so that’s helping-”

“And what are the more official sources saying?” Because Ito could go on all day if he let her and Hizashi knew that public opinion could mean more than just the average citizen’s opinion. “Bad or bad?”

Ito’s lips twisted up into a wry smile as she chuckled, “Just bad, for now. I think the new drivel is claiming you’re a laidback playboy who’s focused more on his radio show and his ratings rather than the safety of Japan.” 

“Playboy? Playboy? Really?” Hizashi made a face, shaking his head. He had been with Shouta since they were teenagers, after all, and the only other person he had ever felt the urge to really be with was Toshinori. “Jeez, alright. At least it’s just about the radio show. That always passes.” 

“It does if you keep getting good ratings,” Ito snorted, fixing a stack of papers, and then looking at her desk. “That seems to be the worst of it for now. Did Heartfilia-san get you those files yet?”

“Saw him just before you,” Hizashi said, holding up his files. He couldn’t blame Ito for not appearing very sympathetic considering her own workload. “How’s opinion looking like on the case?”

“Varied.” Well. It could be worse. “The public still seems to be under the impression we’re competent, at the very least, and I’m happy to keep it that way.” Ito looked at her desk one last time before nodding and waving her hand at him, “Alright, you can go. I’ll fix the latest mess you dropped in my lap and then I don’t want any disasters from you for at least two weeks. Got it?”

“Yes ma’am,” Hizashi nodded, standing up and walking towards the door. He paused for a moment, hand hovering over the doorknob. “Actually… what’s the current opinion on my image in regards to my… my quirk.” 

Hizashi didn’t turn around to see whatever look Ito was giving him, instead just waiting in the growing silence as he felt phantom pressure around his throat, pressing in tightly while phantom straps dug into his jaw and silenced him- 

“You’re a good man and hero with a powerful quirk that has only ever been used to protect the public.” Ito’s voice was soft, yet firm. She had known him long enough to no doubt know what was on his mind. “The worst I have for you right now is that you’re too loud, but, honestly, that’s more about your wardrobe than your voice.” 

The unexpected dig had Hizashi giving a snort of laughter, quiet as he left the office and pushed out a soft sigh, eyes closing. His head was still pounding, and he still felt those phantom touches brushing against him, but it was enough to know that no one feared him or his quirk. Ito had never sugarcoated things for him, after all. It wasn’t much to know that he was at least decent in regards to the public, but… it helped a little.

“Um, Present Mic-san, sir?” Prying his eyes open, Hizashi blinked down a trio of new third-year interns. Two of them looked ready to burst into tears and the third looked as if she was ready to get into a fight for her life. “We’re, uh- Well, we’re new here, of course we’re new here, not that I expect you to know that, but, um-”

“Ignore her, she’s freaking out,” the one who didn’t look ready to cry said, stepping forward. “Our supervisor told us to go down to help support for the day but didn’t bother to tell us what floor or elevator to take. Think you could point us in the right direction?”

Ah, third years… They were either one moment from breaking down completely or they no longer cared if they lived or died. Hizashi not only remembered that time well, but even now he could relate. 

“Better than that, I can take you down there myself!” He made a mental note to later put in a work order request to submit for his next speaker, now that he was reminded. The last thing he needed was for them to fiddle with the specs again. “Come along, herolets!” 

“We’re, um- We’re not, uh, hero students, sir. We’re- We’re support students,” one girl nervously corrected, looking panicked as one of her friends pulled her along towards the elevator after Hizashi. 

“Really? If you ask me, those in support are just as much heroes as the rest of us.” Hizashi pushed the button for the right floor, looking at the third years seriously, sunglasses slipping down for a moment. “Listen. There will be plenty of people in your line of work who will doubt what it is you can do. They’ll think that just because you’re not out there on the front lines you’re doing less.”

“Isn’t that what we are doing?” The calm one, who looked put together and like she knew how the world worked far too well, stepped forward. “It’s nice of you to give us a pep talk, sir, but we aren’t heroes. We don’t have powerful, flashy quirks. We just know how to put things together without them falling apart.” 

Hizashi stared for a moment, tilting his head before giving a huff of a laugh. Shouta, he was surer, would have loved this kid, “What’s your name, listener?” 

“Ishii Chisuzu, sir.” Yeah. Hizashi would definitely have to remember that name for the future. He had a good feeling about it.

“Well, Ishii Chisuzu, I’m about to give you the best piece of advice you’ll ever get. Ready for it?” Waiting for the girl to nod, Hizashi gave her a sharp grin. “What you can do is not less. Got it?”

The elevator doors opened with a soft ding, the other two girls looking at him with wide eyes while Ishii gave the smallest hint of a smile, “Got it.” 

“Good! Now, off you scurry. If anyone gets after you for being late or something just send ‘em to me,” Hizashi winked, watching as the girls scattered for another direction. Hizashi stared after them for a moment, quietly hitting the button for the floor his office was on, leaning back against the elevator and pushing out a slow breath as he swallowed around his dry throat. 

As much as he loved his agency, it was such a public place. That was fine, typically, considering that he loved being a part of all the action and crazy problems that were always happening. It was just that on some days, when the past pressed against him far too closely, Hizashi really wished he didn’t work in a place that constantly reminded him of his quirk and what it was he could do.

He was fine in the school where he was focused on teaching English and had so many fond memories and had Shouta nearby in case his quirk was to ever slip from his control. When he was away from all of that, however, from the feeling of safety and protection, that was when he could feel the straps tightening around his jaw, and the hands against his throat, and the whispered words of how he would never be a hero with such an awful villain’s quirk and why couldn’t he just be silent-

Rushing out of the elevator as soon as it hit his floor, Hizashi slipped into his office, tossed his files of paperwork onto his desk, and collapsed onto the nap lounge he had dragged in forever ago. He kept the lights off, letting the dark room soothe his aching eyes and pounding head as he tried to steady his breathing. 

He should have just gone home early and stayed with Shouta and Toshinori, but he had work to do. Some stupid childhood trauma that had happened decades ago was not going to stop him from being the hero he had become. It didn’t matter that his skull felt like it was cracking open, or that his throat could barely make any noise without trying to close, or that he couldn’t stop feeling that damn muzzle- 

It didn’t matter. The media could make fun of him all they wanted to, but Present Mic still had work to do. His public image was meant to be friendly and a bit silly, ready to help but also just as ready to make jokes and have some fun. It wasn’t an accident it was that way. He had known from the beginning how the world would see him, but that was good. It left him the room and freedom he needed to do what had to get done. 

That included doing the work he needed to, even on his bad days; no matter how tempted he was to take a page out of Shouta’s book and just fall asleep where he was lying down. It wouldn’t be for long. A half hour, maybe an hour, possibly until the world ended -- just long enough for him to stop feeling so tired and strung out. 

The one thing that kept him from following through was his buzzing phone, Hizashi swearing as he dug it out and pulled it up in front of his face before scrambling to lower the brightness in the dark room. It took a few moments before he noticed the sender was Nemuri, Hizashi already regretting his entire life as he opened the attached images. 

He had been prepared for anything and everything, but not for the half a dozen images of young Present Mic fans who couldn’t be older than six or seven. It was the cute pictures that Nemuri had promised to show him at lunch before getting distracted, Nemuri sending a simple text that read, ‘One of them told me to tell you thank you for having a voice quirk and still becoming a hero.’ 

It was a simple message, and cute, silly pictures, but Hizashi felt like he could burst into tears as he looked through them slowly one-by-one. Once he closed out of the last one, he saw a few missed texts, all of them from friends or other co-workers who were checking in on him. Tensei, who had no doubt been told of his rough day by Tenya, had sent near fifteen messages in the last ten minutes alone, along with a selfie of him doing a wheelie with his wheelchair.

Overall his messages were filled with support or just a kind word or two, Hizashi finally, slowly, after an eternity, pushing himself up and heading towards his desk. 

He may not have been some incredible hero like Toshinori or even a deadly, fearless hero like Shouta, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t a hero. Present Mic had work to do it and Hizashi would see it through until the end. 

The idea of crawling into a corner and sleeping until the end of the world was still tempting, though.

[shkspr]

tagged by @devilsss-dyke​ ! thank u!

rules: pick five (5) shows, then answer the following questions and tag people.

my five shows:

doctor who

futurama

buffy the vampire slayer

star trek tos

the magpod i guess

who is your favorite character in #2?

turanga leela

who is your least favorite character in #1?

oh gosh. i mean, i’m not counting villains bc there’s complexities there re: appreciating a character vs liking them, etc., and i’m only thinking chars who are in more than one ep bc if i counted every char who was important in a motw ep then it would be h*tler without a question and that’s no fun. but honestly i think it’s the eleventh doctor lol. yeah every doctor counts as a separate char bc that’s how bad he was i cant reconcile him w the good ones

what is your favorite episode of #4?

the city on the edge of forever... but honorable mentions for amok time, the devil in the dark, who mourns for adonais, and the trouble with tribbles

what is your favorite season of #5?

season 4 but reluctantly. love that sweet sweet character depth and that satisfying narrative arc but the lack of tim is a big drawback. season 3 is a close second, for all the sweet sweet character depth and also a really good story, and also tim is there contributing to both of those things and i like that.

what is your favorite episode of #3?

doppelgangland ! honorable mentions nightmares, prophecy girl, band candy, the prom, fear itself, beer bad, hush, once more with feeling, tabula rasa, the body

what is your favorite episode of #5?

does martin’s patreon exclusive poetry count. if not then probably mmmmm 92, 104, 117, 154, 158, 159, 160. honorable mentions 39, 56, 58, 65, 74, 79, 81, 94, 102, 108, 114, 118, 119, 120, 134, 138, 151, 152. trust me that is as far as i could possibly narrow it down.

how long have you watched #1?

since 2011, on & off tho not continuously. i didnt watch it regularly or keep up with new eps from like 2014 to 2017

how did you become interested in #3?

i just talked abt this the other day actually! i was 17, it was my first semester of college, i was depressed and living away from my parents for the first time and very very alone, both emotionally and physically more often than not, so i thought why not take this time to watch this show that everyone’s been raving abt since i was born. at worst it’ll pass the time yk. and it did better than that!

who is your favorite actor in #4?

mr. nimoy z”l

which do you prefer, #1, #2, or #5?

right now it’s the magpod hands down. and in recent times dw has taken precedence. but futurama is my fave show of all time soz

which show have you seen more episodes of, #1 or #3?

there are 144 eps of buffy and that’s easy. and with the maths i just did, counting all davids specials as one ep each except the end of time is 2 eps, including xmas specials and the 50th anniversary, there are exactly 144 eps of dw thru the end of series 10. however, i also watched series 11, which brings the total to 155, so the answer is dw.

if you could be anyone from #4, who would you be?

mmmmmm i wanna say spock but thats more the answer to who i would be if i were a char from star trek, as opposed to if i could be anyone. if i could be anyone of my choice i would be james t. kirk. everyone loves him and he is pretty and charismatic and bold and i could use some of that

would a crossover between #3 and #4 work?

i would literally kill to see buffy and kirk bonding over heroic anecdotes and hair care and sparring while spock teaches willow how to control her emotions and bones puts xander in a medically induced coma. dream crossover

pair two characters in #1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple?

rose tyler bill potts rose tyler bill potts rose tyler bill potts

overall, which show has the better storyline, #3 or #5?

oh def the magpod. possibly the finest crafted storyline of any media ive ever consumer. so intricate and complex but it all fits so perfectly and im in awe.

which show has better theme music, #2 or #4?

fuck you this is the hardest question ive ever been asked those are the two best theme songs of all time. i guess futurama but barrrreeeely

i’m tagging everyone!! have a blast!!!

[canvaswolfdoll]

CanvasWatches: Dragon Pilot: Hisone and Masotan

Not going to do a Summer 2018 write up because I only lasted through one anime, and Chio’s School Road had… issues I don’t feel like discussing.

Also, haven’t had time to continue the Digimon Rewatch (which is exclusive to the Patreon until I finish season one).

Doesn’t mean I’ve been slacking! Netflix’s most recent license camping for it’s tedious binge watch format is Dragon Pilot: Hisone and Masotan, which was a delight to watch! Go watch it, right now! Do it!

Anyways, time for my… whatever this thing is... on it.

Hisone is a woman who joined the airforce because, near as I can tell, she didn’t have any other ideas for what to put on her school’s career plan worksheet that shows up in every anime, and she saw a fighter plane soar by.

There’s… worse motivations, I guess?

Anyways, while working a desk job, she’s invited to an interview at a far away hangar.

She goes to the hangar and is promptly eaten by a dragon.

But it’s okay! The dragon just wanted to eat her old flip phone! And the crew got her thrown up pretty quick! And now they want her to pilot the dragon.

By getting swallowed and controlling the thing but prodding its soft innards.

Anime

So, Dragons are a thing that exist, and the world governments have been helping hiding them because… that’s the deal they made? Anyways, Japan hides their dragons as fighter planes, and has their air force manage them.

Because we need to explain this bizarre premise somehow.

Dragons are selective about who they will swallow and not digest, and Hisone is one of those lucky few. So she’s a D-Pilot now, which is probably a promotion from her ill-defined desk job.

Also, now she has to put up with Nao Kaizaki, initially the only member of Gifu Base’s D-Pi program, and a woman who couldn’t get the dragon to swallow her, so her position is more theoretical.

Kaizaki is introduced exhibiting the mannerisms of your typical High School Thug boy character, so you know she’ll be interesting.[1]

Hisone’s superior officer, Remi Kakiyasu, was also once a candidate for dragon piloting who couldn’t get the dragon to accept her. So the entire program is kind of low on practical experience.

Then there’s the woman selling yogurt who is clearly important, but it’ll take a few episodes for yogurt woman to reveal her purpose.

So Kaizaki and Kakiyasu train Hisone up as she comes to grips with her new responsibilities.

Hisone finds a plaque embedded in the dragon to learn his name is Masotan.

And so, the title is complete.

Then three more pilots fly in in episode 4, and the main plot starts to meander in a direction.

Let’s meet the other three team members!

Elle Hoshino: Enlisted to become the first female fighter pilot, and is displeased to have been placed on the OTF (Organic Transformed Flier) program instead. So her dragon, F-2/Norma, refuses to leave it’s plane form to please its partner. Eventually Elle comes around and loosens up. She’s fine.

Mayumi Hitomi: A matronly shaped pilot. She’s soft-hearted and soft spoken. Flies a large, goofy looking dragon named Futomomo. She’s fine.

Lilico Kinutsugai: Winner of the Canvas’s ‘Wait, I want more’  award, Lilico is a shut-in with a wry sense of humor and love of manga. Her dragon is the samurai-looking Akemi. Lilico is also apparently asexual, something I wish they’d given space to explore a little more.

She could’ve been my favorite pilot,[2] but the show didn’t commit enough.

So the pilots are placed through a couple adventures to become friends as the creepy Iboshi (some vaguely defined government guy) watches and plots.

Iboshi is the closest thing the series has to a villain, despite it being more of a Man vs. Nature affair. He possesses a callous disregard for the people of the D-Pi program, focused on the looming Ritual the D-Pi are needed for.

This cold-naturedness made me dislike him, but also allows the series to run relationship drama in a really interesting direction.

Because, guess what? If the D-Pi fall in love, the dragons will instinctively reject them. And they need the D-Pi to keep the Dragons healthy, and also escort a giant dragon to ensure it doesn’t destroy Japan in its wake! Oh dear. This frames the ‘will-they, won’t-they’ of Hisone and Haruto of the maintenance team into an major conflict with dramatic consequences and justifies a dumb ‘misunderstanding’ plot with one of the other D-Pi.

This shows builds a very grounded, mature, and compelling view on romance, and I am super game for it. And super down to sing its praises.

I’ve found that the sweet spot for making me care about a romance plot isn’t tsundere antics, or fear, or dumb misunderstandings, because there’s nothing I crave in my media more than emotional honesty.

No, the slow burn I crave is sheer ignorance. It takes several episodes for Hisone to understand she may have feelings for Haruto beyond friendship, then more for her to actually accept and admit her feelings to herself, then the fantasy takes over to prevent a tedious ‘Oh, will you two just talk’ subplot, because Hisone can no longer do her job lest she get digested by her dragon! So the conflict of “How does Hisone deal with her feelings” becomes augmented to “How does Hisone do her freaking job now!?”

The answer, seemingly, is just have a level head on the topic: Mayumi Hitomi also has plenty of ship teases with another character, but never is at risk of being eaten. It doesn’t get examined, because Hitomi’s ability to just kind of… casually acknowledge it and not let the Doki-Dokis mess up her stride doesn’t draw attention.

And because Hitomi’s resolution to the conflict eventually comes down to “I don’t want to abandon anyone ever” means her love for Haruto[4] is just added to the pile of things Hitomi is just anxiously passionate about, in equal measures to her love of flying Masoton, and that seems to work out.

Which, I guess means the secret to flying the dragon’s isn’t a creepy expectation of a pure heart, Iboshi, but emotional maturity.

Which brings us to the jerky, playboy wannabe breaking Elle’s heart. Like a monster.

Take note, writers: this is the first time ‘I broke your heart to protect/save you!’ has ever been successfully executed without one or both parties catching a case of the stupids! Watch this and learn!

So, early in the series, we meet Yutaka Zaito, a wannabe womanizer who has no success, but maintains his illusion of charisma nevertheless. Then he meets Elle, whose serious attitude and cold shoulder grabs his attention, and he suddenly abandons his swarm and tries to, gently, ingratiate himself to Elle, who gradually warms up to him.

It’s nice.

But then the whole ‘Dragon digests those with unsteady hearts’ plot point happens, and Elle is in a position where she can’t even fly her dragon, sending her ambitions even further away. And she hasn’t realized it’s Zaito causing her heart flutters.

But Zaito, upon learning the situation, does understand. And knows that it’s either him or Elle’s career.

So, he turns up the creep, approaches Elle, and proposes a friends-with-benefits arrangement, claiming not to want a serious relationship, and subtly mocks Elle’s dragon rejection. This breaks Elle’s heart, of course, but resolves the matter. She can fly Norma again, and Zaito is left to bite his tongue and let his crush pursue her best life.

The sequence is well executed. It’s a misunderstanding perpetuated intentionally, knowingly, and selflessly by one party, and exists for reasons beyond ‘Neh, let’s have some dumb romance drama now’. Zaito knows what he’s giving up, but still breaks Elle’s heart because she legitimately needs him to so she can pursue her dreams. There’s no other timely way.

On the other end, the show introduces Natsume,[5] a childhood friend of Haruto, who comes in to be Hisone’s rival!

Except Hisone is too oblivious and all-loving to care, and Haruto is straight disinterested in Natsume. And Natsume is a shallow Tsundere and lacks any appealing characterization. They could’ve given her role to Nao, who desperately needs something to do in the later half of the series, or, better yet, just have Haruto be the human sacrifice.

“But you need a girl for the sacrificial beauty role!”

Okay.

Make Haruto a girl.

��Are you proposing the show suddenly swerve into Yuri?”

I mean, Yogurt lady’s backstory is literally a Tragic WWII-era Yuri love story.[6]

Sada Hinomoto shows up selling yogurt and being charming and mysterious so you know there’s something deeper going on.

Turns out, she’s the last D-Pi from the last time they did the ritual, so she actually has proper experience to teach the new kids, and, oh yeah, she hates Iboshi, resents the entire procedure, and carries a lot of trauma from when her friend Yae was chosen to be the human sacrifice last time, and though the show doesn’t spell it out, the intimate blocking and their schemes to flee to Paris paints a super clear picture about what that relationship was about and, gosh dangit, is she one cool grandma.

All she wants to to get back to the giant dragon to find closure with what happened to Yae and force an alternate solution.

Fortunately, Hisone is just the sort of loveable goofball to find an alternate to the Giant Dragon’s bedtime snack!

So there’s another reason why Hisone’s love interest should’ve been a girl.[8]

Now, practically this could’ve been accomplished a couple of ways: gender flip Haruto, cut Haruto and use Nao, pr combine characters. Point is, no matter how you do it, this hypothetical female love interest is now the human sacrifice for Mitatsu-sama.

With this change, there is a new parallel drawn between Hisone and Hinomoto,[9] further underlines Hisone’s tendency toward heartfelt dedication to unconventional methods, and Hisone’s desire for saving the sacrifice changes from an impersonal “Human sacrifices are wrong”[10] to “Human sacrifices are wrong, and also screw you I love that girl!”

And if that girl had Tsundere tendencies (like Nao or Natsume), that’d make the pairing even cuter.

Also, points for the entire D-Pi team unambiguously disbelieving Hisone’s ambiguous fate at the end. It’s fun to see such trope-awareness.[11]

In conclusion: Dragon Pilot is super adorable and sincere, the premise is quintessential anime, and it’s just fun. Sure, most of the characters deserve more depth and exploration, but that’s always my complaint and it’s only a 12-episode series. Plus, it very good at portraying mature characters without stooping into immature means.

And it’s really cementing my love of BONES as a studio.[12] I need to put more effort into seeking out their work.

So go watch it.

Thanks for reading my review! These do tend towards inconsistent release, but they’re fun to do. Consider checking out my other reviews, essays, and the rarer original work. I’m also nearing the end of my Muffin Comics experiment, so catch those while you can! If you really like what I’m outputting, I’ve got a Patreon, set on a monthly schedule so you know what you’re committing to.[13]

Next time: a Netflix Original of a magical tone! (And hopefully more Digimon)

Kataal kataal

[1] At least, that’s the hope. Gets dashed once the other D-Pi arrive on base and Kaizaki slips out of the spotlight. [2] The title goes to Hisone herself.[3] [3] Anyone else have troubles saying the main character/romantic lead are their favorite? Like it’s too easy an answer or something? Because I do. [4] All these H names are raising the hackles of my Mug Rule… [5] Presumably so they can localize Harvest Moon games. [6] Which means we were this close to a Yuri anime not about assaulting high schoolers and creepy family dynamics,[7] but one about Dragons pretending to be a spitfire and historical context and and light-hearted comedy and I honestly would trade this show for that and I love Hisone & Maston! [7] Citrus did not sit well with Canvas. [8] Canvas’s full tilt idea, by the way, is to combine Haruto, Nao, and Natsume. Condense characters and keep them all relevant longer. [9] Way too many H names. [10] Not that Hisone being a goofy all-loving hero isn’t super endearing. [11] Though it’d be nice to know what Hisone and Masoton were doing. Had Hisone ejected out of the dragon at any point during the… months(?) long time jump? [12] Wolf’s Rain notwithstanding. [13] Not going to lie, nothing deflects me from lending support quicker than a ‘Per Update’ schedule.

[daleisgreat]

Star Trek: The Next Generation: Season Six

-I am indefinitely grateful for your patience awaiting my semi-annual Star Trek: The Next Generation season recaps. Today I bestow upon you all my thoughts for the penultimate sixth season (trailer) of TNG. It is already a little jarring to realize I am down to one season left on this series I have gradually-yet-steadily been picking away at the past three years. Once again, all the screens here are courtesy of me pointing my outdated Samsung Galaxy S7 phone at the TV screen so you have my apologies for the questionable fidelity of the pics! -For notable cast changes, there are several I want to make sure to address. Transporter Chief O’Brien (Colm Meaney) departs midway through this season to be a regular cast member on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine which started in January of 1993. I knew of Colm’s switching shows during this season for a while now and was anticipating some big episode or climactic scene explaining his departure from TNG. While there was a crossover episode introducing some of the new Deep Space Nine characters right before its debut, there was never a scene this addressing O’Brien leaving the Enterprise….unless it was a quick passing line of dialogue that went right over my head! Another notable change is halfway through the season Counselor Troi (Marina Sirtis) gets chastised by a new interim commander for her unorthodox uniform and makes her fall in line wearing matching Enterprise uniforms with the rest of the crew. In the bonus interviews on the BluRay, Marina states how she had to fight for a matching uniform for many years and it was one of the few things the higher ups finally granted her.

-I am glad TNG compensated for the lack of a Q (John de Lancie) episode last season and had him in two episodes in season six. The first episode is a middling affair where he steals a Starfleet prospect who discovers she is a long lost member of the Q Continuum. The second Q episode fares much better where Q helps a stuck-in-purgatory-Picard (Patrick Stewart) after Doctor Crusher (Gates McFadden) has a return of poor doctoring and loses Picard on the operating table. The two travel back to pivotal moments in Picard’s younger days to see if he would change the past in order to get a second chance at the future in an investing episode. Speaking of Crusher’s poor doctoring, there is another episode this season where it feels like the writers are in on the joke and have an episode where Crusher is disbarred after some major bad doctoring again on her part….but of course Crusher manages to change that by the episode’s end. If my notes are accurate (no promises!), than I believe this is the first season with no appearance from Troi’s mother, Lwaxana (Majel Barrett)! I would not be surprised if she has two episode next season. Season six also does not feature an appearance from Wesley Crusher (Wil Wheaton), but I understand he will return in time for the series finale in season seven. A recurring character who does return is everyone’s favorite engineer, Reginald Barclay (Dwight Schultz), who is in a couple episodes this season, with him playing a key part in a holodeck episode with another long overdue returning character I will touch on soon.

Not only does Worf has some killer episodes this season, he also demonstrates his prowess at Yoga this season....while Crusher continues to demonstrate her prowess at poor doctoring. -There are a pair of excellent holodeck episodes this season. The first one is easily the best named episode of the entire series in “Fistful of Datas.” It sees Troi, Data (Brent Spiner), Worf (Michael Dorn) and his son, Alexander go on a wild west adventure where problems with the holodeck causes Data to take over nearly all the AI personas in the simulation. Swashbuckling hilarity ensues! The other holodeck episode sees the return of Professor Moriarty (Daniel Davis). This was long anticipated since Moriarty’s last appearance in season two as the Sherlock Holmes antagonist who became self-aware and whose consciousness became trapped in the holodeck in the following four years. In “Ship in a Bottle,” Moriarty attempts a master plan to connive his way out of the holodeck as a program and as an actual living being. The twists and turns that lead up to the gratifying resolution for everyone was a memorable ride and sadly Davis’s last guest appearance on the show. Daniel Davis and Patrick Stewart have a natural chemistry with each other that shines whenever those two share the screen, so I highly recommend tracking down and viewing both of his episodes!

-The flute that Picard was gifted in the previous season once again returns for a couple of memorable scenes when Picard starts courting another crew member who plays keyboard. Naturally this leads to the two having an emotional duet together that starts off kind of hokey, but by the end the pair had me reeled in all the way! Just click or press here to see for yourself. -Worf has a few notable dedicated episodes this season. A two episode arc sees him track down a long lost colony of Klingons imprisoned by Romulans that has Worf encouraging them to relearn and embrace Klingon customs. Another episode has Worf dealing with the fallout of seeing the return of the Klingon god, Kahless, and the fascinating drama that unravels with another satisfying conclusion for all conflicting parties involved.

-Even though by season six nearly the entire cast and writing team was firing away on all cylinders, I would be lying if there were not a couple clunker episodes. Riker (Jonathon Frakes) portrays a mental patient in a play he is rehearsing for, but the play starts going to his head and he starts losing it for real, but the way the plot unfolds is a mess and a half to follow along with. The other dud is TNG’s homage to The Thing which sounds promising on paper, but instead features lousy CG of its “Thing” and a groan-inducing twist that was not entertaining whatsoever. -As much as I enjoyed Leonard Nimoy returning to play Spock last season, I was delighted even more with The Original Series star James Doohan dusting off his communicator to portray Scotty. Watching him overcome his differences and exchange engineer expertise with Geordi (LeVar Burton) was a treat. The scene with Scotty and Picard sharing a drink on a holodeck reimagining of the original Enterprise gave me nostalgic goosebumps throughout.

-Season six started off with the conclusion to “Time’s Arrow” that saw the TNG crew time travelling back to the 1890s where they first encountered Guinan (Whoopi Goldberg) and were forced to alter the timeline to rescue Data, and win over an aggressive Mark Twain. While not on the level of the “Best of Both Worlds” two-parter season finale, it was still a highly entertaining two-parter in its own right, and as I alluded to earlier, I am all for seeing the TNG crew in an old west setting. Season six ends with another cliffhanger that sees the Enterprise encounter the Borg again, and they manage to convince Data to flee the Enterprise to seemingly join the Borg as their new leader. Suffice it to say, I am intrigued to see how this pays off in season seven! -I referenced a few times before here how I was keeping up with podcast reviews of every TNG episode with the show, Star Trek: The Next Conversation. It looks like I have finally caught up with where hosts Andrew Secunda and Matt Mira have recorded their latest shows just a couple episodes before the end of season six. It looks like they took a few extended breaks this season, and I cannot fault them for that at all when dealing with everything the pandemic has wreaked upon us all this past year. I still enjoyed their takes as usual, and plan on going back and listening to whenever they post new episodes to catch up with their remaining casts covering TNG. I understand they have a Patreon companion with exclusive podcasts dedicated with them marching through both Deep Space Nine and Voyager now, so who knows, I may have to start working my way through those series down the line.

-You know the drill by now, this BluRay is loaded with carried over DVD extra features and all new ones for the BluRay. Not including three commentary tracks for this season, there are just over three hours of behind-the-scenes interviews and documentaries. Almost all of them are informative, but I will only recommend a few of the must-see ones here. Mission Overview: Year Six has introspective reflections from Whoopi on “Time’s Arrow” and James Doohan on “Relics.” Bold New Directions has some fond insights on “Fistful of Datas” and fascinating memories from Stewart and Burton from getting their shot at directing episodes this season. Beyond Five Year Mission – Evolution of Star Trek: The Next Generation is the headlining all-new bonus feature. It is an hour and a half, and split into three parts. Part one has plenty of love for being the cast and crew’s personal favorite season of the show, debuting Deep Space Nine concurrently during this season and trying their best to work within Gene Roddenberry’s “no conflict” framework of the series. Part two is themed around TNG being more serious when compared to TOS, and highlighting how several episodes were scored. Part three stands out the most with an awesome story from Whoopi on what lead to her becoming involved on the show, Sirtis dealing with a lot of pushback from studio executives and Spiner’s love/hate relationship with the cat that played Spot.

There may be many hours of bonus interviews to sift through, but most of it is worth it for endearing moments above like Burton and Frakes sharing a laugh, and Spiner sharing his disdain for a certain feline. -Season six is a step up from the minor-yet-noticeable dip in quality from season five, and brings it back to the high bar established with seasons three and four of TNG. The highs were remarkably prominent this season with some standout holodeck episodes, memorable two-parters, and a scintillating season finale that has me anticipating the kickoff to the season seven. I cannot believe it, after a few years of starting this, I am finally down to just one season left of this legendary show. Please join me one last time here in a few months for my thoughts on the final season of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Past TV/Web Series Blogs 2013-14 TV Season Recap 2014-15 TV Season Recap 2015-16 TV Season Recap 2016-17 TV Season Recap 2017-18 TV Season Recap 2018-19 TV Season Recap 2019-20 TV Season Recap Adventures of Briscoe County Jr: The Complete Series Baseball: A Ken Burns series Angry Videogame Nerd Home Video Collections Cobra Kai – Seasons 1-2 Mortal Kombat: Legacy - Season 1 | Season 2 OJ: Made in America: 30 for 30 RedvsBlue - Seasons 1-13 Roseanne – Seasons 1-9 Seinfeld - Final Season Star Trek: Next Generation – Seasons 1-7 Superheroes: A Never-Ending Battle Superheroes: Pioneers of Television The Vietnam War: A Ken Burns series X-Men – The Animated Series: Volumes 4-5

[celtfather]

Celtfather Monthly: January 2020 News and 2020 Goals

It's a brand new year. Compiling stats to watch my growth each month is a little time consuming. But it is also pretty fantastic for plotting statistical growth. I know exactly where I was this time last year.

I’m gonna start the show with the usual updates. Then I’ll go into stats and finish up with goals for 2020.

1:53 - PODCASTS

I published a bonus episode of the Pub Songs Podcast to 2019. I shared my love of the new Frozen 2 movie. The next couple of episodes I’m gonna share thoughts about my next album, Selcouth, as well as talk about individual songs on the album. I think February will move towards promoting St Patrick's Day featuring some top 5 and 10s.

I don’t have any specific Stories from the Road episodes planned. But I hope to get ahead when I get a full work day next week.

The first episode of the 2020 season of the  Irish & Celtic Music Podcast kicks off next week. I took a much needed break. You can still expect more features of women in the upcoming year. I also want to draw attention to our environment, something close to the heart of the Celts.

The Celtic Christmas Podcast released three episodes last year. I'm already planning to launch an early fundraiser for the show in 2020.

Mikey Mason and I recorded an episode of In the ‘Verse back in December. We did not release it because with the holiday, I think we both had trouble making time to write a song. But I finally sat down with my song.

The episode we wrote songs for was "War Stories". It's one of my favorites. I had trouble writing a song for the episode though. But right before we left for Christmas vacation, I wrote "My Man". It's from the perspective of Zoe, and wow, I love it. It kinda helped me understand Wash better than ever. Hopefully, we'll release it soon.

I'll see Andrew McKee at Georgia Filk next weekend. I suspect we will record a Brobdingnagian Bards podcast while we're together. We also have some videos we need to record together to complete our Kickstarter rewards.

4:20 - VIDEOS

Season 5 of Coffee with the Celtfather begins on January 8. The show will continue at 10:30 AM Eastern on Wednesday. However, It will be exclusively available on Facebook.

I made quite a few updates to my YouTube channel. In particular, I deleted many of my most-successful videos. That's because they were episodes of the Irish & Celtic Music Podcast... and they were blocked by Facebook. It seems Facebook will only keep podcasts up if it's not primarily a music show.

I'm still debating whether I want to keep episodes of the Pub Songs Podcast up there. I talk in a lot of those so many of those aren't getting blocked. But I think I might just rework the entire channel into a Marc Gunn music channel.

It's wild looking at the most-popular videos now that all the Celtic podcast videos are gone. Bizarre!

My top video is a review of my portable amp. Then comes a "Whiskey in the Jar" video featuring the Bedlam Bards. "Danny Boy for Cat Lovers" is after that. Then just a recording of my version of "Whiskey in the Jar" with just the album cover. And #5 is Funny Irish Pub Songs, a live video I made.

Wild! The channel will see a big change in the days to come.

7:07 - MERCH

I posted a Gunn Runners Card on Patreon. This card gives Heroic Gunn Runners on Patreon a 25% discount on all merch in my store and at shows.

Seems like a lot of Gunn Runners are happy to pay full price to support my music. I am very grateful to all of you. But if you need or want the discount. It's there for you.

Selcouth is the name of my next album. The Kickstarter officially launches on January 27 and goes through February 14. I still have a TON of videos and text to write for this Kickstarter. Heck! I still don't have an album cover. So stay tuned.

Oh! And make sure you subscribe to my mailing list if you're not already. I will let you know when it goes live.

In the middle of that, the Brobdingnagian Bards officially release I Will Not Sing Along, our 10th studio album on February 2, 2020--GROUNDHOG DAY!

9:00 - TRAVEL

I still have space for my Celtic Invasion of Venice. You can listen to the Celtic Invasion Vacations itinerary. To find out how amazing this trip will be. Email me if you have questions. The deadline to sign up is February 15.

9:51 - SHOWS PLANNED FOR JANUARY

JAN 10-12: GaFilk in Atlanta, GA JAN 16: Internet Concert on YouTube @ 8:30 PM JAN 18: The Lost Druid, Decatur, GA @ 7:30 PM JAN 24: Interstellar Ginger Beer & Exploration Co, Alabaster, AL @ 7:30 PM JAN 25: Maggie McGuinnes Pub, Huntsville, AL @ 7:00 PM

FEB 1: Tucker Brewing Company @ 6:30 - 9:30 FEB 13: Internet Concert on YouTube @ 8:30 PM FEB 15: The Lost Druid, Decatur, GA @ 7:30 PM

MAR 7: The Lost Druid, Decatur, GA @ 7:30 PM MAR 12: Internet Concert on YouTube @ 8:30 PM MAR 20-22: ConCoction, Cleveland, Ohio

Jan 8 and on, Weds 10:30 AM EDT: Coffee with The Celtfather, Facebook (Season 5!)

I will continue to provide audio versions of most shows for Heroic Patrons.

12:45 - STATS

Mailing list subscribers = 1030 is down from 1077

YouTube Subscribers = 4355 is up from 4324 YouTube Watch Time = 32.1K min (535.0 hours) is up from 27.1 YouTube Views = 12.2K is up from 11.6K

Facebook Likes = 3653 is up from 3646 FB Page Views = 447 is up from 434 FB Reach = 10942 is up from 5684 FB Video Views = 6419 is up from 1883

Spotify Latest Single Stats: "Slainte Mhaith Christmas": 3238 up from 0 Spotify Latest Single Stats: "The Last Jedi Drinking Song": 539 up from 0 Spotify followers: 1428 is up from 1400 # Number of listens on Spotify: 10184 is up from 4237 Most-popular songs on Spotify: Christmas in the Shire (4.9K), Frosty the Irish Snowman (14.6K), Slainte Mhaith Christmas (3.2K), Celtic Christmas Elf (2.3K), Jingle Bells (2.3K),

Top Irish & Celtic Music: 426 is up from 416 Fun Christmas Songs for Kids & Families: 1858 is up from 1573 Firefly Drinking Songs: 101 is up from 99 Joyful Celtic Christmas Music: 83 is up from 58 Christmas Drinking Songs: 29 is up from 24

18:31 - PATREON

Patreon Subscribers: 152 is down from 158 Patreon Monthly Income: $946 is down from $968

Tier Changes in 2020:

GUNN RUNNERS: Behind-the-Scenes. $5 or more per month. Includes:

DOWNLOAD new MP3s that are recorded and mixed before they are released. Plus get rough mixes of new songs

EARLY ACCESS to some publicly available content

GO BEHIND-THE-SCENES with the Stories from the Road podcast. I share my adventures, thoughts and news exclusively with you.

HERO. $10 or more per month. You'll get everything above, plus

BOOTLEG audio recordings of coffee shows and some concerts.

LEARN how to play my songs with PDF sheet music. Make a request for a song you'd like to learn.

SAVE 25% off everything in my MageRecords.com store!

ACCESS to over 40 Bootleg Concerts, both audio and video and 7 Full-Length Albums.

SUPERHERO. $25 or more per month. Includes:

SPECIAL THANKS to you in each new single that is released.

One-time Physical Copy of "Heroes" CD, autographed at your request, after 3 months of membership at this level

24:17 - GOALS FOR 2020

My success is ultimately defined by how I inspire you. So if you are sharing, enjoying, And creating, then I am successful.  And if all that happens, then I should see an increase in everything I do in online.

So many people focus on metrics. But that distracts from the point of what we are trying to do.

Hopefully, this will inspire you to create your own goals for 2020.

I spent a lot of time in December trying to plan my next year. I haven't even thought about that five, ten or twenty year plan. I just needed to get in control of THIS YEAR'S plan. But I feel I did.

BEST WAYS TO GROW MY FANBASE

Live Shows

Promote hit songs

Give away free music

Irish & Celtic Music Podcast

Music videos. Covers, keywords or popular songs.

One evening video concert per month. Second Thursday of the month at 8:30 pm.

Coffee. At least one newbie concert a month. Create an event. Last

BEST WAY TO SUPPORT EXISTING FANS

Live Shows

Marc’s Musings. Should I go monthly? or bi-monthly?

Irish & Celtic Music Podcast

Pub Songs Podcast

Stories from the Road

In the Verse

Teach fans to play/sing along. Monthly tutorial.

Video Singles

New music

Build Community

One evening video concert per month. Second Thursday of the month at 8:30 pm.

Coffee. At least one newbie concert a month. Create an event. Last

30:35 - BEST STRATEGIES

Perform live

Increase mailing list. With free Lead generator.

Promote top videos and songs

33:40 - MUSIC

Release Selcouth

Release 3 singles with other musicians

Hero of Christmas

Hobbit tune with Samantha Gillogly

Molly Malone with Jesse Ferguson

Write 10 new songs

Hit #1 on reverbnation in March.

Teach online how to sing and play 10 songs. Also videos.

Release 10 sheet music pieces

38:35 - GIGGING

Play 6 new venues

Play 8 monthly internet concerts

Play 24 coffee shows. 12 episodes over two seasons.

Play 2 house concerts

Contact 20 conventions

40:18 - PODCASTS

Pub Songs Podcast. 2 podcasts per month. 20.

Commit to one more year of the pub Songs Podcast. And I see if it has done me any good. Or should I do just monthly? What if I plan each episode in advance to do about songs? For new album? Or classic song?

12 about a song episodes. 2nd episode of the month.

10 episodes custom to promote stories

Stories from the Road. Weekly. 45

Irish & Celtic Music Podcast. Weekly. 48

Brobdingnagian Bards Podcast. Monthly. 11

In the 'Verse. Monthly. 10

43:03 - VIDEO

1 Official music video for a CD.

3 travel videos to promote Celtic invasion vacations

8 videos of me singing live some of my most-popular songs

1 videos of me singing along with myself on a song

1 official off-the-wall music video. Fun and silly. Unrelated to the music played.

update YouTube channel to reflect Celtic Geek

46:26 - SALES

Bandcamp sales. $300 per month. $3600 for the year.

Social = 10000 followers on YouTube, Spotify, Facebook, mailing list

Thanks as always for supporting my music. Remember. You can help me create and release more music. Join the Gunn Runners Club to step behind-the-scenes with bonus podcasts, new music, videos, and live concerts. Slainte!

#CFMonthly

Check out this episode!

[sellinout]

TRANSCRIPT for EPISODE 4

[music]

ANTHONY GESA: It was just a chance for me to like...see that band once, for free. And it turned into seeing them almost every day for two years which is more than I could have ever asked for.

MIKE MOSCHETTO: Hold on a second. Is this a rare positive outcome this show? Don’t adjust your podcast dial, I’m still Mike Moschetto and this is still Sellin’ Out.

[music: “I’m a casino that pays nothing when you win / Please put your money in”]

MIKE: Hey folks, thanks for listening to Sellin’ Out, where fools and their money are routinely parted at every rest stop, gas station, parking garage, toll booth, Taco Bell, Guitar Center and one-star motel just off the interstate from sea to shining sea. I’m Mike Moschetto and, quick housekeeping item before I proceed – if you have made it to the end of any of the past few episodes, this will be old hat to you at this point. But in spite of the name of the show, I am committed to keeping Sellin’ Out free from advertisers, so no plugs for meal-prep delivery services, website creation platforms, online hiring assistants, or mattresses, underwear or fill-in-the-blank of the future. What I’m trying to do instead to undercut the costs of production is to rely on you, the listener, to throw a couple of bucks a month my way via Patreon. If you don’t listen to a lot of podcasts, it’s a platform for, kind of a public-media style funding model where a pledge is not required but it is greatly appreciated, and every one keeps the wheels greased as it were. In return, I’m interested in providing exclusive bonus content for subscribers and I do have some ideas as to what those might be, maybe more newsy and topical content about this precarious intersection of creativity and commerce. But also, maybe followups with previous guests? More banter, more loose, hot-takes I guess? In any event I’ve been asking at the end of the past few episodes for your input on what you, the prospective patron, would like to hear out of this. You can write in with your suggestions at sellinoutpodcast@gmail.com or on twitter @SellinOutAD. And you can always just write in with your feedback, too – I’m still pretty green at this whole thing and would love to get you involved however I can. If it ever comes to it I may take listener questions on the show if you have any. In fact, if you follow me on Twitter @SellinOutAD or even on Facebook at facebook.com/sellinoutpodcast, you can find out who I’m going to have on the show in the future and you can submit what you want to know from them, submit questions ahead of time. Not that you should be doing my work for me, but whatever. You get it. Now on the subject of Patreon and crowdfunding, I am acutely aware of the irony of hosting an producing a show about the, let’s say, dearth of cash flow among musicians and the music-adjacent, and then turning around myself and asking for your monetary contribution to this project. Totally get it, and if you only have so much disposable income I would much prefer you spend it on a record or a tape or a CD or a shirt, cover charge to a show, anything – that is, after all, the crux of this program: to encourage support for independent artists so they can continue doing what they do. But the other important thing to know is that this Patreon thing that I’ve been spending all this time on is completely optional. Much like being in a band, I will continue to do this as long as it still makes sense and then probably a year or so longer than that, because I think these conversations are enlightening to me anyway and hopefully they provide some perspective for you as well. So go to Patreon.com/sellinoutpodcast to find out more. But once again, there’s no obligation and I just appreciate you being here. Now, onto the show - my guest today is Anthony Gesa, guitarist for the New Jersey band Gatherers - one of my favorite, one of the most impressive current post-hardcore/screamo/whatever bands. They have a new album out now on Equal Vision Records called ‘We Are Alive Beyond Repair;’ go treat yourself to a copy of that. Anthony also manages and releases music for artists under the Party Smasher, Inc. brand, and if that name sounds familiar to you it’s because Anthony also spent roughly two years in the employ of the legendary Dillinger Escape Plan as a stage tech on their extensive farewell tour that took him all around the world. So we spoke about that, about uprooting your life to join a band in another city, the music industry in higher education and so, so much more. Here’s my conversation with Anthony Gesa.

[music]

MIKE: So what got you into music in the first place and I guess more specifically punk and hardcore if you even want to call it by those terms?

ANTHONY: There were I guess two things. One of my best friends growing up, his older brother, he was four or five years older than us...I’d gotten into the Deftones probably through MTV or whatever, and he basically gave me a Glassjaw record and he said, “hey, this is the Deftones if they played it wrong.” So I listened to it and then I realized they’re from Long Island, not too far away from where I am. I just started trying to look on places like Mp3.com for other Long Island bands and then it turned out kids that I went to high school were in a band called Stray from the Path and they were on there as well. I just started talking to them, and they were all a little bit older than me...They were like, “If you like Glassjaw and you think our stuff is cool, we’re going to a show if you want to go at this venue called the Downtown, and it ended up being the Dillinger Escape Plan and Every Time I Die doing a weekend run, and this is while ‘Last Night In Town’ was out and ‘Calculating Infinity’ was out. And that was my first glance into that world.

MIKE: Man, that is golden-era shit.

ANTHONY: Yeah I’m super fortunate. And then from there they started taking me to all these local shows and, at this time the Movielife had just blown up and there was a lot going on around here. Glassjaw was still playing Long Island relatively often, there was a bunch of stuff going on and it was the first time where I saw outside of the world of MTV or whatever, that there’s a community around it and I started soon getting into booking shows of bands that I would find through Mp3.com or whatever or message boards, and I would start asking them to come to Long Island to play. One of the first shows I ever booked was with Ed Gein at this weird dance hall and it just snowballed and...you know, I’d always kind of dabbled in playing music but I was more into seeing the community of it and that’s basically what became of my weekends. Just going to shows and exploring music that way, so that’s how I got into the punk and hardcore scene.

MIKE: How old are you, out of curiosity?

ANTHONY: I just turned 30.

MIKE: Okay, that’s kind of what I thought; I knew we were around the same age but you talking about Mp3.com is such a sense memory to me, it’s so fucking funny.

ANTHONY: That was the only way to find free music post-Napster.

MIKE: [laughs] It’s so specific! Like, I have two Anterrabae songs on my hard drive that I probably got from Mp3.com. When I first met you I guess that was probably what, 2012? When I did that Pastlives record back then?

ANTHONY: Yeah, either 2011 or 2012.

MIKE: At the risk of seeming like I’m just blowing smoke up your ass, honestly it’s still one of my favorite records I’ve ever done.

ANTHONY: You’re sweet

MIKE: Well, you know, I’m just telling the truth here. Obviously I know that wasn’t your first band, but where did I find you on your musical journey at that point?

ANTHONY: The other real band I was ever in was from Boston called Shot Heard Around the World. One of my friends was like, “Hey, they’re looking for a guitarist to fill in for a tour,” so I talked to Brian from that band and we hit it off and I packed up my station wagon with everything I could fit in and just kinda...bounced, and went on tour. I just kinda stayed in New England after that, up until recently.

MIKE: Until we spoke a couple months ago at the show, I didn’t realize that you were from Long Island originally, what brought you up to Boston?

ANTHONY: A terrible, terrible girl. She was going to school around that area. She basically gave me an ultimatum to move to New Hampshire or we were kinda done, so I did that.

MIKE: [laughs] You had to “live free or die?”

ANTHONY: [laughs]

MIKE: And you moved back to Long Island why? Like for a non-terrible girl?

ANTHONY: On a personal note, my mom got sick and it was really just- I don’t want to be in Boston, not in a band, because at this point Pastlives had kind of stopped doing stuff. So it was more of...my wife now was just like, “We’ve got to move to New York.” And she’s not from there. She left all of her family and was just like, “We gotta go.”

MIKE: Yeah, she’s from here right?

ANTHONY: Yeah. And so at this point we were only dating for maybe a little over a year and it was just a crazy selfless act on her part, just saying “let’s drop everything and go.” So I’ve been here and luckily it’s worked out.

MIKE: Yeah. So tell me how you get into the fold at VuDu Studios. Do you have a studio background?

ANTHONY: Yeah, so when I started getting into hardcore bands and stuff like that, I went to see Stray record one of their records that they’ll never admit to putting out. I thought it was really cool, and it was at just one of our friends’ houses. I thought I wanted to do that at 15-16, so I bought the worst shit possible, but I was able to record local bands and stuff. And then I’d graduated high school at 16 and I was looking at colleges. My mom gave me an amazing piece of advice. She said, “If you’re really into working with bands, you have plenty of time to be practical...why don’t you find a school that will cater to that?” So I found Full Sail, fortunately or unfortunately, so I went there and started getting more into it, just recording bands on my own. That kind of all stopped once I moved to New England the first time with that girl, moved back to Long Island after Shot Heard Around The World disbanded...I was working construction jobs and I was miserable. My wife told me, “Find a studio and intern, and we’ll make it work.”

MIKE: So you DID intern.

ANTHONY: So I did intern for a while, for like a year. I just started being asked to edit stuff, and then I was getting paid a very small amount to just do drum editing and session setups and then I really catered toward the business end of things, working with labels and scheduling and stuff like that. And while I was doing my own thing at VuDu, I was just asked to kind of manage the studio, and that’s what I did up until two years ago.

MIKE: I didn’t even realize you had all of the technical background, I thought the business role – and I guess I was right that the business role was your bread and butter. I guess it’s worth actually mentioning in some detail for people who don’t know what the deal with VuDu Studios is, give me just a handful of records that have been cut there, for the sake of example.

ANTHONY: As Cities Burn, ‘Son I Loved You At Your Darkest.’ Everything The Deer Hunter did past Act II. The last two Hopesfall records, the new one that’s coming out...The last O’ Brother record was mixed there. Drums for the new Dillinger Escape Plan was recorded there. Glassjaw was recorded and mixed there – the new one, ‘Material Control.’ He did all of the As Tall As Lions stuff. So he has a very heavy hand in the New York scene.

MIKE: I guess so. I mean that’s...talk about a regional hub. So at some point in there, obviously Dillinger tracks ‘Dissociation.’ I know you said you saw them at your first show and maybe had friends in common with people who knew them, but how do you broach the subject of...you obviously work with them now; how does that come about?

ANTHONY: I’d become friends with Billy a few years before then, just because he’s from Long Island and-

MIKE: Billy Rymer?

ANTHONY: Yeah.

MIKE: Is he still the drummer?

ANTHONY: Yep.

MIKE: I can’t keep track of these freakin’ guys.

ANTHONY: Well he’s been the longest-standing drummer, I think this is year 9 or 10 for him. He joined the band super young, he was like 23. So yeah, we had met a few years ago. He was recording at VuDu and I was assisting on the session for his Radiohead tribute band. We just started talking and somehow we ended up at the same social gathering, we hit it off…Fast forward to when they were recording ‘Disassociation,’ he introduced me to Ben [Weinman] and Liam [Wilson] and we hit it off as much as you can when they’re in the middle of recording what’s gonna be their last record and their heads are everywhere else.

[music]

MIKE: When they ask you, do you know that it’s gonna be for the long haul, for the two-year stretch that they’re doing all of these shows all around the world?

ANTHONY: No, and I don’t think... They asked me to do just one show they were doing at this really small club on Long Island called Amityville Music Hall – 200-cap room, and I still look at it as probably the worst experience of my life, because everything that could go wrong absolutely went wrong. Ben’s amp getting knocked over, Liam’s amp dying mid-first song and not coming back, just because of shitty power...it was just a horrendous experience. It was the worst first gig anyone could have, and I think they knew what it was gonna be coming into it, and they just didn’t let ME know. You know, obviously I’ve seen the band and I know that they’re crazy but I’ve never been on that side of it where I have to be the one to control everything that’s going on onstage.

MIKE: Oh man.

ANTHONY: Yeah, no. I thought it was just that one gig, and then they asked me that night to go with them to... the complete opposite gig! They were doing a - the next day they were doing a show at the Electric Factory which is a few thousand people in Philadelphia; it’s a huge, huge venue and they were supporting a one-off Mastodon show. From there I didn’t hear anything from them. I just figured it was those two shows, that’s cool, I got to tech and hang out with one of my favorite bands, it was unexpected, and I still have another job so I wasn’t banking on it. Then Liam calls me like a week later like, “Hey, get your passport; we’re going to the UK.”

MIKE: Wow. And so that moment of just thinking you’re gonna be with them for, wherever they go for a while, what’s going through your head in terms of re-organizing your whole life around it? Were you in a position that that wasn’t insanely stupid to do or irresponsible to do?

ANTHONY: Yeah, I mean I was working at VuDu Studios full time, so they obviously understood the whole band mentality. I was also touring with my band at the time, so they were used to me leaving. I wasn’t sure the extent of the tour - no one was. This was just a two-week thing to go to Canada, East Coast, West Coast and the UK, and then I thought that was as far as that was gonna go. So I talked to my wife, she was more than supportive about it, so I just kinda packed my bags and went along and just assumed that that was it after that, and it just kept going.

MIKE: So you just have to keep re-upping that, “well I’ll figure it out later.” But they’re paying you, which...that’s tough to get. I don’t want you to necessarily go into how much you earn if you’re not comfortable, that’s obviously fine. But do you have a sense of how your take-home pay is decided? Does it come out of their guarantee on a tour-by-tour basis? Are you being paid nightly? Does it matter where you go?

ANTHONY: I have a salary, so whether we do two shows a week or seven shows I get paid the same, which is nice that I know my income. It was enough for me to quit any other job I had going on and just go on tour for two years. It was enough to pay the bills. I would’ve done it for free!

MIKE: And that’s the most dangerous thing to say, too. What’s that thing that’s going around right now, Suicide Silence? You pay all this money and win a chance to be their roadie.

ANTHONY: That’s insane. So you’re paying an exorbitant amount of money to be their roadie? It’s ridiculous. Luckily Dillinger hasn’t put out a bad record where the industry makes you do that in order to have a crew, so they’ve always had a production budget to take care of the people they bring out. None of us are going on MTV Cribs, but they’ve been incredibly fair with it. They’ve helped me live when I’m not on tour which is a huge thing, where when we weren’t on tour I was wondering what’s going to happen, if I’m going to be able to keep my electric on.

MIKE: That’s huge. And with that in mind, you’re on the road with them how often would you say? In the past two years, how much of it have you spent at home?

ANTHONY: We’d go out for two months, home for a week or two; out for a month and a half, home for a week or two. So every other month or every other two months, I’ve been out with a two-week-to-a-month break in between.

MIKE: But everything’s cool in between, like money’s still coming in...that’s the part I’m trying to wrap my head around, what their production budget must be that they can sustain anything. I guess it’s different because there’s an end date on it, as opposed to “well let’s sustain this along as we can.” That has to play into it, right?

ANTHONY: I can only speak to how they’ve taken care of me, but just talking with any other tech they’ve had – they’re still close with everyone who’s ever worked for them, because they’ve never treated anyone terribly, they’ve always genuinely great people to them and when they could afford to pay, it seemed like they took care of whoever was willing to work for the band. Even though...You know, it’s a grind. There’s some weeks where there’s no days off...sometimes we’ll do six shows in a week, seven; there’ll be times where they do two shows in a night – they’ll do a DIY show for fun.

MIKE: That’s amazing.

ANTHONY: Yeah no, it’s great. And also, mind you, they’re playing big rooms. They’re not playing 300 cap rooms. Obviously I don’t know the bookkeeping of the band, but everyone does well.

MIKE: Yeah, and to that end also you’ve been literally all over the world: Australia, New Zealand, India recently, Europe, UK, Ireland, Scandinavia, United States, Canada, Mexico, Japan, Russia, Israel...what’s the comfort level from place to place? Is it all fairly consistently taken care of, or are you slumming it occasionally still? Do you notice a difference?

ANTHONY: India was...I don’t want to say “bad”...It made me grateful to be from where I am. I’ve never seen so much poverty in one place, where toddlers, teenage kids, elderly people are all sleeping on the streets. We were in Poonai and Mumbai and for a brief minute Delhi, and it all just looked unfinished. Sidewalks were ripped up, stray dogs everywhere, trash all over - streets covered in it. And the scariest thing is there’s no real traffic laws. So people are just doing whatever they want on the road without lights or lanes. It was very interesting to see traffic come to a halt though when a cow would cross the road, which is...You know, it’s sacred there. And it’s really interesting to see that despite everything that’s going on, hundreds of thousands of people in these cities, this animal steps onto the road and everyone comes to a halt and lets it take its time to get across the street. And that’s a cool thing to see, that despite everything that’s going on – class system, whatever – everyone still holds the same thing important.

MIKE: Yeah, like there’s a reverence for something that transcends all of that.

ANTHONY: Exactly.

MIKE: The fact that you went to India at all was interesting to me, because I never hear about metal bands, rock bands – anything that’s even remotely “Western” in that way – go to that part of the world. The most exotic thing I can think of is Have Heart playing in South Africa. But India just seems like this total uncharted territory for a guitar band.

ANTHONY: It was interesting. And there was thousands of people that knew every word to every song. It was really cool to see that aspect of it. When we first landed, Liam and I went to the promoter rep and said, “Hey, we’re gonna go walk around, get some street food and just hang out. Where would you suggest going?” He said, “to your rooms and getting room service and not leaving the premises,” because it’s just so dangerous – even in the major cities – with abduction and things like that. And then we were also told in the same breath, “make sure you don’t drink any of the water or eat any fresh fruits or vegetables.” And for people who don’t eat any sort of animal product, it’s a crazy thing to hear. “Don’t eat any vegetables,” just becasue their water is so polluted from all the trash, and when they wash their vegetables – and plus the irrigation – there’s just all this bacteria.

MIKE: Yeah. Fuck. Now, to my point before, is it kind of a blind spot for me to say that I don’t know of a lot of bands that go to India or do you think-

ANTHONY: I don’t know of any other bands.

MIKE: Yeah it was a novel experience for y’all, right? Do you think it maybe opens the door to more of it or is there even an interest there?

ANTHONY: I don’t know. It’s a brutal flight and it’s very expensive to get there, but the festival that we played, it was huge as far as heavy music. There was a lot of bands that had the Dillinger-esque style, from India. Like, they’re from Mumbai and they were just incredible. So there IS a scene there for it, I think it’s just making sure you can get there and being safe about it, because you have to unfortunately...it’s one of the only places I’ve been to where safety was the biggest concern rather than getting to the show. Whereas Israel I THOUGHT would be like that, but we were walking around Israel like 3-4am, 5am, just hanging out. People also just hanging out, having a good time. One of the most gorgeous I’ve ever been and the people there were so friendly. There wasn’t a point where we didn’t feel safe.

MIKE: Were you in Tel Aviv?

ANTHONY: Yeah, we were in Tel Aviv, I guess that’s where – up until recently – all the embassies were. But even being in a major city, it’s surrounded by this amazing...the Mediterranean Sea is gorgeous. People go out every night all night, restaurants are open 24 hours. It doesn’t shut down and it’s very...like, Mumbai is also a major city, and you’re advised not to go out in the middle of the night, where Tel Aviv is the capital and they’re just like, “Yeah, go have fun.” Our promoter was like, “Yeah, go have fun. If you go to Jerusalem, make sure you go during the day and you know your Uber driver knows where he’s going to. Other than that, yeah, everything is pretty much safe.”

[music]

MIKE: There’s also something to be said for overseas hospitality in general, compared to what you get here.

ANTHONY: Oh yeah. Everyone overseas is...those were some of the best experiences that I’ve had.

MIKE: Do you get time to see stuff? Or are you just pretty much working and driving between place to place the whole time?

ANTHONY: We definitely have time to see stuff. Liam was always big with that. The first time I went to the UK, we were in London and Billy woke me up at 5am because I had to go see Big Ben, London Bridge and all these things that are touristy, because we had such a crazy schedule. This was the first time I went there and I wasn’t sure if it was the only time I was gonna go there, and he wasn’t either so he wanted to make sure I saw everything that was worth seeing. Liam was the same way throughout the last two years. He was always making sure to include me to go see the huge square in Brussels or go into Copenhagen, to one of the world’s first amusement parks, just seeing crazy things. So I’ve definitely gotten the chance to see some cool stuff, even if it means not sleeping. I definitely was able to take as much as it in as I could, and the fact that we’ve gone to most places multiple times – if I didn’t see something I wanted to see the first time, I made sure to make time to see it the second time, if I had to Uber or walk or whatever. I was definitely able to see a lot.

MIKE: Yeah. And you know what? You’ll sleep when you’re dead.

ANTTHONY: Exactly.

MIKE: [laughs] And at some point – you must have become especially chummy to trhe point where you’re working with Party Smasher, which is what..Ben’s label? Is that right?

ANTHONY: Yeah it’s a label/management company that he and I do. Basically throughout the touring we just kinda got close. Into the same music, into the same dumb TV shows, same ideals and we hit it off. I was really fortunate that he kinda took me under his wing and he’s basically shown me everything he knows, even as far as playing guitar or business, whatever. He’s been great. It led to probably the coolest job I could think of having as an adult.

MIKE: Truly. That’s super cool. Now, when I ran into you recently, you were on your first DIY tour in a couple of years with your band Gatherers. What were your initial impressions? Was there kind of a culture shock or did you just fall right back into it?

ANTHONY: I was incredibly excited to get back into it. There was no part of me that didn’t want to be there. It was a very welcoming change. It gets a little frustrating being on the sidelines sometimes, where I’m in this band that’s on the other side of the world and they’re rehearsing. It gets to be kind of daunting not being able to play with your band, and the fact that we were able - within 3 days or 4 days of me getting home from Japan, we left for 10 days. And it was great. Every part of it - the shows, the drives - it was something that I didn’t realize I missed as much I did until we were back at it.

MIKE: Is there anything that you may have learned in your time touring with Dillinger that you could apply to making your DIY efforts more successful going forward with Gatherers, for example?

ANTHONY: Absolutely, from just scheduling, the business aspects, things I’ve learned from Ben...just observing how Dillinger works to kind of maximize our experience and how to get things done in a certain way. Small things, like sending venues stage plots and input lists in advance, that I would’ve never thought of before I started touring with Dillinger, where we get to a venue and the sound guy knows how the stage should be set up. He knows how many inputs we have, things like that. Budgeting for a tour, just all around...made me have a better sense of how to tour-manage my own band.

MIKE: So do you find that you’re more active with those kinds of logistical activities than you were? Because you’re not around as often, so I don’t know who was running the books for Gatherers. Is it more of a shared effort now that you have some scalable real-world experience?

ANTHONY: They kinda tricked me into managing the band full-on, which wasn’t my intent. I was excited to just play guitar in a band.

MIKE: I would kill to just play an instrument in a band and not have to think about stuff.

ANTHONY: Right? But I love doing it, so it’s not really...It’s a labor of love. So yeah, I kinda fell into taking the reins from Adam, who plays drums, who has been doing it for five years or so.

MIKE: And he’s also the guy who records everything too, so he’s…

ANTHONY: Yeah, so it was a welcome change for him to just be able to kinda relax and play his instrument and that’s all he has to do. It was nice being the newest member in the band and having a sense of a role very early on, instead of trying to figure out where I sit and not trying to step on anyone’s toes, which is always a good thing.

MIKE: Yeah, as the new guy I would want to tread lightly too.

ANTHONY: Yeah, and instead of that they just threw me in and said “hey you’re running this now” which is great. I’m very excited about being able to take all the experiences and knowledge that I’ve gained over the last two years and try to make my band successful.

MIKE: So the elephant in the room is that now that Dillinger is effectively over, what does the roadmap look like for you?

ANTHONY: I’m gonna take a nap for about a month, and then life’s gonna go on. Ben and I are gonna pick up with Party Smasher; that’s kind of what he and I are doing now. That’s what I have planned for after Dillinger, just working on managing bands. We have a few artists on the roster now; we just put out two records last year that I’m insanely proud of, we have a bunch of artists that we’re gonna be announcing that we’re working with. We have records that we’re gonna put out this year, and then Gatherers has a new record and we already have a pretty full year so far booked for touring, so it’s enough to keep me busy. Luckily I have a job where I can work from the road and I have a boss I guess that understands more than anyone would why I need to work from the road and not just be in an office.

MIKE: Of course. And so Party Smasher is your job at this point.

ANTHONY: Yeah.

MIKE: And is there a door open, like could you go back to VuDu if you wanted to?

ANTHONY: I’m sure I could.

MIKE: Did they get some other schmuck to do your job?

ANTHONY: Yeah, but I’m sure I could walk back in to some degree, just because I have a great rapport with everyone. But I’m trying not to go backwards. I kind of want to just see what new experiences I can get. I don’t want to fall into a routine that I’ve already been through, even if it means times are a little bit leaner and I’m just able to see where my life goes organically.

MIKE: You don’t drive for Uber, fly by night, Airbnb your place…

ANTHONY: [laughs] No, thank God...And I might do something like that in between tours, just to make the days not blend together and get stir-crazy, but as of right now my focus is just on making Party Smasher successful, and then making Gatherers as successful as possible.

MIKE: That’s awesome, man. You’re a very lucky guy.

ANTHONY: I sure am.

[music]

MIKE: As always, support Anthony, support Gatherers, Party Smasher, everything. I’ll have info and links in the description of this episode. If you want to support the show, Patreon.com/sellinoutpodcast. If you want to get in touch, I’m at sellinoutpodcast@gmail.com or on Twitter @SellinOutAD. If you want to leave a nice rating and review on Apple Podcasts, it would really help other like-minded folks find the show, or you can resurrect your old LiveJournal – or if you’re real badass, your Deadjournal – and post about it there. And thanks! The music you hear at the beginning and end of every episode is “No Cab Fare” by the band Such Gold, support those guys too while you’re at it. Cover art for the show is provided by Nick DiNatale. I’m Mike Moschetto. Thanks again, we’ll see ya next time. This is Sellin’ Out.

[music]

[deeplydapper]

AUGUST DISPATCHES - The Monthly Newsletter

Welcome to our first monthly newsletter! We are pretty excited about this and hope to use them as a tool to keep all of you informed about new items, upcoming appearances, promotions, sales and more! As you can see by looking below, it's been a busy month!

PODCASTS

Last Month on THE PODCASKET:

We covered news and trailers from SDCC and reviewed horror TV, THE VOID, WONDER WOMAN and gave our con report on Walker Stalker Heroes and Villains FanFest Portland!

Stream and download HERE

Or listen on iTUNES and STITCHER

Last Month on ROBOT KRAKEN:

We appeased the beast on Robot Kraken by covering The EXPANSE, Mummies, Cyberpunk, Pirates and starting our weekly episode reviews of the new season of GAME OF THRONES!

Stream and download HERE

or listen on iTUNES and STITCHER

Coming up on the podcasts:

We have more horror movies, a tribute to George Romero, more Game of Thrones and our usual bag of goodies!

If you listen to the shows, please leave us a review on iTunes – every review helps more people find us and increases our ability to keep up with regular programming! Also, if you do review us, send me an email at deeplydapper@gmail.com with your name and address and we'll send you a little thank you!

We are also going to be answering questions on the episodes going forward, so if you have a question about us, movies, comics, books or anything at all – email me and we'll answer it on the air!

SHOP UPDATES

NEW ITEMS:

Nothing new in the shops last month, but now that I've had a bit of downtime from shows, expect to see our entire line of convention goodies trickling onto the sites in the coming months before Christmas season.

SNEAK PEEKS

One thing we can confirm is coming is our new version of our best-selling LUMOS NOX SWITCHPLATE COVER! We were forced to discontinue our old design after the manufacturer of our heat-treated paint went out of business, but I'm designing a new version of the plate made like our metal and vinyl Dumbledore plate! Be sure to follow us on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram for the announcement of when that's ready for sale.

SALES!

In addition to repopulating our regular sites, we are shifting our main shop to a new server through our current site instead of Storenvy – This means better listings, an easier shopping experience and no more of Storenvy's fees! Once everything is loaded, you can find the shop through the same link on the main page at www.deeplydapper.com as always, but for now it's listed under “NEW STORE” on the website. Right now all that is there are our Enamel Pins, which are ALL ON SALE through the 15th of August!

LAST CHANCES

We have decided to change some of the print and art sizes available in the shop and some pieces will be phased out for new designs or different sizes – most of those will be sold at shows and pre-christmas, so keep an eye out for our Grab Bags to get a great deal!

We are almost SOLD OUT of our Infinity Glove enamel pin and Ugly Mofo is SOLD OUT! Look for a sequel to that design later this year.

PATREON

We haven't had a chance to do much promotion with our Patreon yet, but we do have one! If you'd like to help support the show and get some cool gear, you can become a patron here – www.patreon.com/deeplydapper Supporting us will help us do more editing and continue producing our podcasts!

APPEARANCES

LAST MONTH

It was FINALLY a slow month for my 2017 convention tour – I only had a small anime convention in Helena. I had to cancel my appearance at Treasure Valley Comic Con due to a scheduling mix-up.

UPCOMING SHOWS

I don't have too many other shows for the next couple of weeks, then our last leg of 2017 arrives hard and fast! NOTE – Magic City Monster Con was forced to postpone their show this year – I hope to be able to attend their 2018 show in October! Here's where you can see me in the next couple of months:

August 25-27 – Colorado Springs Comic Con – Colorado Springs, CO

September 1-3 – Magic City Monster Con – Billing, MT

September 8-10 – Rose City Comic Con – Portland, OR

September 21-23 – Salt Lake Comic Con – SLC, UT

September 29-1 – Snake River Comic Con – Pocatello, ID

 EXCLUSIVES AND UPDATES

I will have a Salt Lake Comic Con Exclusive print available, but I don't know what it will be quite yet! :)

We will also be debuting something soap-related at our fall shows that we are SUPER EXCITED about, and we think you will be too – especially if you like collecting our soaps.

ARTWORK

NOW AVAILABLE

I've spent most of the month finishing commissions from shows, but you will be able to find some artwork that was previously only available at shows online and we will be premiering a new line of 5x7 portraits at Colorado Springs Comic Con!

WORKS IN PROGRESS

I am currently hard at work on the latest in my Dapper Monsters series – The Metaluna Monster. I'm also planning a new Dapper Hollows print, some colored versions of old favorites and a poster featuring a certain interplanetary GATE.

KICKSTARTER

UPDATES ON PAST KICKSTARTERS

All of our past projects should be fully filled and delivered, and most are listed in the shop now! We do have a limited selection of our complete Sideshow Sets, so if you want one of them, get in on that soon.

CURRENT AND FUTURE KICKSTARTERS

Our TICKS Inspired “INFESTED” pin is finished in the next day or two and it's already completed and on it's way to us, so those rewards will be ready to ship as soon as the funding arrives!

You can get in on the project HERE!

What's next on the Kickstarter frontier? I have a new pin designed, based on our DapperKins Horror ABCs book, we are planning and prepping a special Holiday Kickstarter and a few other fun things!

NOVELS & BOOKS

CURRENTLY AVAILABLE

As always you can find most of my novels in paperback and e-book form on Amazon by searching for Kris McClanahan or Neal Kristopher.

You can also find my work in the OFFICIAL THING ARTBOOK by Printed In Blood! 

My piece ends the book back by John Carpenter's afterword and I'm incredibly honored to be a part of such a striking collection of art! (It's also a GREAT deal!)

UPCOMING

I am hard at work on finishing the edits on a novel that I started writing quite some time ago – GRAVES is the first installment in a 2-part zombie survival horror series that takes place over the course of one night in a drug store in Missoula Montana and I'm quite excited for it to FINALLY be coming out! Look for announcements about GRAVES on all of my social media when it's official!

I'm also the new Cover Artist on ENIGMA y TJ Damon over at Quad M Comics - I'll be taking over with Issue 5 and I'm super excited to share the covers once they are ready!

[celtfather]

How to Vote in Celtic Top 20 #438

How to vote in the Celtic Top 20, plus lots of great Celtic culture through Irish & Celtic Music Podcast.

Mithril, Round the House, willos', Andy Law & Friends, Outbound Traveler, Jim Sharkey, We Banjo 3, Eamonn Flynn, The Prodigals, Kyn, Hard Green, The Wild Irish Roses, Brother Sea

I hope you enjoyed this week's show. If you did, please share the show with ONE friend.

The Irish & Celtic Music Podcast is dedicated to growing our community and helping the incredible artists who so generously share their music. If you find music you love, buy their albums, shirts, and songbooks, follow them on Spotify, see their shows, and drop them an email to let them know you heard them on the Irish and Celtic Music Podcast.

Remember also to Subscribe to the Celtic Music Magazine. Every week, I'll send you a few cool bits of Celtic music news. It's a quick and easy way to plug yourself into more great Celtic culture. Plus, you'll get 34 Celtic MP3s for Free, just for signing up today. Thank you again for being a Celt of Kindness.

VOTE IN THE CELTIC TOP 20 With the new year comes a new votes in the Celtic Top 20. This is our way of finding the best songs and artists each year. Just list the show number, and the name of as many bands in the episode as you like. Your vote helps me create next year's Best Celtic music of 2019 episode.  Vote Now!

THIS WEEK IN CELTIC MUSIC

0:07 - "The Trip To Skye/Brenda Stubbert's/The Hunter's Purse/Tommy Peoples" by Mithril from The Return Home

6:57 - WELCOME

7:37 - "MacLeod's Farewell" by Round the House from Safe Home

10:53 - "Pastures of Plenty" by willos' from 4th

15:25 - "An Diberdhyans / Dons Bewnans" by Andy Law & Friends from The Long and the Short of It

20:19 - "Vincent Black Lightning" by Outbound Traveler from Go On and Wander

24:52 - HOW TO VOTE IN THE CELTIC TOP 20

27:44 - "The Old Piano" by Jim Sharkey from A Lovely Day

32:45 - "The Bunch of Green Rushes/Salt Creek" by We Banjo 3 from Gather the Good

36:48 - "Black Coddle" by Eamonn Flynn from Black Coddle

41:05 - CELTIC FEEDBACK

45:13 - "Jug of Punch" by The Prodigals from Brothers

51:16 - "Fata Morgana" by Kyn from Earendel

55:32 - "Whisky in the Jar" by Hard Green from Rare Old Mountain Dew

59:49 - "Garry Owen" by The Wild Irish Roses from Full Bloom

1:02:26 - FINAL NOTES

1:03:58 - "Curious Shore" by Brother Sea from EP

The Irish & Celtic Music Podcast was produced by Marc Gunn, The Celtfather. To subscribe, go to Apple Podcasts or to our website where you can become a Patron of the Podcast for as little as $1 per episode. Promote Celtic culture through music at http://celticmusicpodcast.com/.

  CELTIC PODCAST NEWS

* Helping you celebrate Celtic culture through music. My name is Marc Gunn. I am a Celtic musician and podcaster. This show is dedicated to the indie Celtic musicians. I want to ask you to support these artists. Share the show with your friends. And find more episodes at celticmusicpodcast.com. You can also support this podcast on Patreon.

Subscribe to the Celtic Christmas Podcast to enjoy hours of Christmas music by Celtic musicians.

HOW TO VOTE IN THE CELTIC TOP 20 We are near the end of the year. That means there are just a couple more weeks left for you to vote in the Celtic Top 20.

The Celtic Top 20 is a poll for you to pick the best songs of each episode of the podcast. At the end of the year, I compile the twenty most-popular songs of all episodes into one very special, extra-long episode.

Your last day to vote for your favorite Celtic songs of this year is on December 18, 2019. There are many ways you can vote. I will list two below.

The most-obvious way to vote is to just relax and listen to the show. Each time you come across a song or tune that blows you away, write down the show time.

Then head over to the shownotes at CelticMusicPodcast.com. I list the times of each song played in the show. If you wrote down 5:56, you can find exactly what song was played at that timestamp.

Just copy the band name and the show number. Go to BestCelticMusic.net/vote/ and cast your vote.

You can repeat this procedure with as many tracks as you want in the show.

That’s the basic way. But sometimes you want to give every song a solid chance to be heard. So now I want to share tips on how to make voting easier, using a method I use when picking my favorites.

Step 1. At the top of each episode of the podcast, I list every artist in the show. Copy and paste that list into a notes program along with the show number. I use Evernote. So that’s where I paste it.

Step 2. Listen to the episode. If any song or tune doesn’t impress you, look at the show time to find out the band name. Delete that band from the list.

Step 3. Repeat that procedure until you’re done.

Step 4. Go vote at BestCelticMusic.net/vote/. Post all of the band names that remain in your list in the voting form. Congrats you’re done!

I know. I’m a bit anal about voting. But sometimes I’m impressed by multiple artists. So I want to give each a chance to be heard again.

Either of these methods of voting are great with me. Ultimately, I want you to just enjoy the show. But the Celtic Top 20 is something special. This is a chance for many artists to get extra special attention. The tracks are also added to our Top Irish & Celtic Music Playlist on Spotify. It’s a big honor. But these artists need your votes to earn it.

So go vote in the Celtic Top 20 today!

TRAVEL WITH CELTIC INVASION VACATIONS Every year, I take a small group of Celtic music fans on the relaxing adventure of a lifetime. We don't see everything. Instead, we stay in one area. We get to know the region through it's culture, history, and legends. You can join us with an auditory and visual adventure through podcasts and videos. Join the invasion at http://celticinvasion.com/

THANK YOU PATRONS OF THE PODCAST! Your generosity funds the creation, promotion and production of the show. It allows us to attract new listeners and to help our community grow. You get weekly episodes of this podcast and you get them before regular listeners. When we hit a milestone, you get an extra-long episode. We are $26 away from a two-hour instrumental.

You can pledge a dollar or more per episode and cap how much you want to spend each month over on Patreon.

I want to send a huge shout out to our Celtic Legends. These amazing people pledge at least $25 per month to support Celtic culture through music. That is just incredibly kind. So I humbly thank you.

Raise a glass to Shawn Cali, Hank Woodward, Annie Lorkowski, Tiffany Knight, robert michael kane, Bryan Brake, Lynda MacNeil, Kevin Long, Nancie Barnett, Miranda Nelson, Carol Baril, Scott Benson, Marianne Ludwig, Patricia Conner

You can become a generous Patron of the Podcast at http://songhenge.com.

Oh! And Song Hengers who pledge $5 or more per month also get an exclusive podcast where I tell you a little more about artists in the latest episode.

  I WANT YOUR FEEDBACK

What are you doing today while listening to the podcast? You can send a written comment along with a picture of what you're doing while listening. Email a voicemail message to celticpodcast@gmail.com

Tim Meushaw emailed two years ago: "Hi, Marc, I have been a listener for a very long time, but usually when I'm listening I'm doing fairly mundane things, like cleaning or driving.  But I was on holiday on the Isle of Mull, in the Inner Hebrides, for a few days last week, and listened to episode 332 while hiking north to Ardmore Bay, outside of Tobermory.  They say that on a clear day, you can see to the Isle of Skye, which reminded me of next year's Celtic Invasion.  I can't say I actually saw Skye, but the rest of the scenery was breathtaking.

To prove I was listening, I made a short video of the bay, with "Sláinte Mhaith" from that episode playing as background music.  Hope you enjoy!"

Tim followed up a few days ago and reminded about this email. So let me say first I am sorry Tim that I missed your email. I haven a much better system for including your feedback into the show. And hopefully, I won't run into that problem again in the future. Thank you so much for sharing the video too.

If you want to watch Tim's video. Head on over to the shownotes.

Fred Gilbertson emailed some photos in July 2018: "Hi Marc, I listened to your podcast for the 1st time yesterday. I had spent some time in the morning deleting other stuff from and then adding new stuff on my iPod. I think I stumbled upon your show doing an iTunes search for Natalie MacMaster. Anyway, I loaded the podcast on and later I rode my bike. My 1st new listen was to an NPR New music podcast, and when it ended I switched to your show.

I enjoyed it a lot, and I intend to listen again in the future. You read a note from the listener in Suffolk, England and told of the pictures he had attached for your viewing pleasure, and you welcomed “us” to send more. Right at that moment I happened to be at a spot that I thought you would find interesting. I was on the Colonial Parkway, near Williamsburg, VA. I stopped right where I was and took 3 pictures, rode another mile or so and took 2 more. It was a rather gloomy day, but it is always rather glorious out on this stretch of the earth.

On one 1 side of the parkway where I stopped, there is a farm that’s called “Gospel Spreading Farm”, which, due to its religious identity, is the only residence and farm that remained when the land was cleared decades ago for the construction of the parkway.

Same spot, looking to the southwest, you see the James River

Same spot, sort of northwest in direction, more of the James as well as the southern tip of Jamestown Island, where the colonists arrived in 1607.

About a mile away, the James w/ a look at the Surry Nuclear Power Station

Same spot, a selfie."

Brandon Ball emailed a photo in May: "Love the podcast First podcast I ever listened to, back in 2009. Keep turning them out! And please play Drunken Night in Dublin by The Mahones?

Here’s what I just built while listening to the most recent podcast. Whiskey you’re the devil is playing now. It’s a box for sprouts! Thanks Marc, Great listening,"

Kathy Levin emailed in March 2017, “Hey Marc, Hope all is going well.

You always ask what people are doing while listening to your Celtic Podcast - well I spend many days here at work (WD-40 Company) catching up on back episodes I have not listened to while working.

I use this to drown out the fact I work in an area with some very noisy people. Today I am setting the mood for an Irish Rovers concert we are going to tonight.

On another note:  Would you please send me the link for artists that would like to have their music on the Podcast?  I have a great guy that I met last year at an SCA event and then re-connected with last month who is interested. He is out of Canada and is also on Patreon.

Thanks for the great music!"

  #celticmusic #celtictop20 #irishmusic

Check out this episode!

[celtfather]

Getting Things Done | Celtfather Monthly: December 2019

Greetings Gunn Runner

It’s hard to believe we’re entering the final month of the year. Where has the time gone? What will next year bring?

I suppose it is time to start planning for 2020. It’s time to settle on the next CDs. Time to review all that I have accomplished this year. And it’s time to decide what changes to make.

I don’t ever remember doing that when I was younger. I focused on creating. I never understood how important it was to truly review my successes and failures. I’ve been doing it for a decade or so. But I still felt like I was flying by the seat of my pants.

I am nearly done with the audiobook, Getting Things Done. I am trying to unlock all of the ideas and thoughts that are in my brain, get them down on paper, and figure out what I will do next.

What about you. What kind of future planning rituals do you do each year?

All right, let’s get on with the monthly news, starting with...

PODCASTS

The Pub Songs Podcast is doing pretty well staying on schedule. The new simplified format works for me. Hopefully, it works for you too.

I announced my new CD in November. I shared a cool way to vote, be it for the Celtic Top 20 or in general. And I encouraged listeners to remember success is best measured by how much you help others.

I have two episodes planned for December. Both have Christmas names. But I haven’t solidified the themes yet.

Stories from the Road is successfully coming out twice a week. I feel eventually I’m gonna get behind. That seems like a LOT of content. But so far, I’m ahead. And I have lots to talk about in the run up to the Selcouth Kickstarter.

Irish & Celtic Music Podcast is doing fantastic as usual. I have so much feedback. I did a two hour special to highlight all the feedback I missed over the past couple years.

I’m ending the Year of the Celtic Woman on that show. However, I decided I will not stop my quarterly Celtic women episodes. I feel that’s important. So it will be a regular part of the content that I release into the future.

The first episode of the Celtic Christmas Podcast is now online. And I put it into the hands of listeners as to whether there will be more than one.

That’s because I started a Patreon page for the podcast. You see, I’ve been losing money with the Celtic Christmas podcast for as long as it’s been running. And I was OK with that. It was sort of like my gift for the holiday.

The trouble is I spend a lot of time and mental effort to create and release episodes, especially in December. That takes me away from things that I should be doing. Ultimately, it was not a smart marketing move to run that podcast, even if it made me happy.

And so in comes patreon once again. I started a new fundraiser for the show to help pay for the production and my time producing the show. Patrons sponsored the first episode of the season. If we hit our next goal, then we will get either one or two more episodes this year. Depends on when or if the next milestone is hit.

There is a new episode of In the ‘Verse with Mikey Mason. We discuss themes from the episode, "Out of Gas". It has one of my new favorite songs to sing. That's a song called "Breathing".

The next one will tackle the episode "Ariel". We are also going to try to get back onto a monthly schedule. So this episode will come out on December 1.

8:04 - VIDEOS

Season 4 of Coffee with the Celtfather comes to close on December 11. The show did does not have a huge number of viewers. But it seems a favorite nevertheless. There's a steady stream of 15-20 people watching each week. So I’m going to run it for at least one more season, restarting in January.

The show will continue at 10:30 AM Eastern on Wednesday. However, It will be exclusively available on Facebook.

I tried a web service that allowed me to broadcast on Facebook, YouTube, and Twitter. I was hoping that would increase my reach, which would also mean more tips or more patrons signing up in the Gunn Runners Club. It didn't make an impact sadly, at least not enough to really justify paying $20 a month.

It was a good test nevertheless. I learned that Facebook is a good busking platform. And YouTube is probably better for video singles. So next season, I might try release one video every week or two and make them line up with the coffee show.

Oh! And Patreon Heroes get the full audio recordings of the coffee show. I also record a couple extra songs for that audio. I will continue to do that next season. But I’m not sure if anyone enjoys that. The feedback has been limited. So if you like it or if you don't bother listening, especially if you don't listen, let me know. That will help decide if I should keep it going.

10:05 - MERCH

Selcouth is the name of my next album. I’m planning a kickstarter for January.  The CD features my uniquely strange yet marvelous mode of music. You will enjoy many of the songs that I have played but not released over the past year.

There will be several Firefly songs, some traditional Irish songs and tunes, some comedic songs, some sci-fi and fantasy and cats, and some uniquely Marc Gunn songs. This is the mixed bag that I promised myself for a long time.

I will have more details coming on future podcasts and definitely in January.

I skipped the Black Friday sales this year. Even though I have a bunch of new products in my store at magerecords.com. I also have some great special offers. Visit my home page for details.

I also have THREE NEW SINGLES that you can look for in the days to come.

The first is the Brobdingnagian Bards' "The Last Jedi Drinking Song". That comes out on December 13. Just in time for the release of the last Star Wars episode.

The second is "Slainte Mhaith Christmas". Basically, I re-recorded my song "Slainte Mhaith" and gave it a Christmas twist when I realized it could easily work for that. I don't have a release date yet. But it'll be ASAP.

The last one was an even more last minute Christmas release. That is "Hero of Christmas". This is one of the songs that Mikey Mason and I wrote last year for our Blue Sun Holiday Tour. It's a parody of "Hero of Canton" all about Santa Claus. Again, I don't have a release date for that. I'm gonna aim for December 15th. But I should've released these two songs sooner. Oh well...

TRAVEL

I still have space for my Celtic Invasion of Venice. You can listen to the Celtic Invasion Vacations itinerary. To find out how amazing this trip will be. Email me if you have questions.

13:00 - SHOWS PLANNED FOR NOVEMBER

Dec 12: Public YouTube Show Dec 14: Tucker Brewing Company, Tucker GA

Jan 10-12: GaFilk, Atlanta, GA (not a guest) Jan 24: Interstellar Ginger Beer & Exploration Co, Alabaster, AL Jan 25: Maggie McGuinness Pub, Huntsville, AL Mar 20-22: Cleveland ConCoction, Cleveland, OH May 14-17: California Autoharp Gathering, Dunlap, CA Sep 30-Oct 4: ALEP 5, Shakerstown, KY

Dec 4 & 11, Weds 10:30 AM EDT: Coffee with The Celtfather, Facebook, YouTube

14:20 - STATS

Mailing list subscribers = 1077 is up from 1015

YouTube Subscribers = 4324 is up 39 from 4285 YouTube Watch Time = 27.1 is up from 26.3 YouTube Views = 11.6K is up from 9.4K

Facebook Likes = 3646 is up from 3642 FB Page Views = 434 is down from 481 FB Reach = 5684 is down from 5808 FB Video Views = 1883 is down from 3386

Spotify Latest Single Stats: "When She Held Me in Her Arms": 661 is up from 647 Spotify followers: 1400 is up from 1375 # Number of listens on Spotify: 4237 is up from 2053 Most-popular songs on Spotify: Christmas in the Shire (1.4K), The Widow and the Devil (1.3K), Frosty the Irish Snowman (1.2K), Jingle Bells (707), Celtic Christmas Elf (451), Scottish King of Christmas (400)

Top Irish & Celtic Music: 416 is up from 398 Fun Christmas Songs for Kids & Families: 1573 is up from 1433 (already more than 1539 in February) Firefly Drinking Songs: 99 Joyful Celtic Christmas Music: 58 Christmas Drinking Songs: 24

Patreon Subscribers: 158 is the same Patreon Monthly Income: $968 is up from $962

Thanks as always for supporting my music. Remember. You can help me create and release more music. Join the Gunn Runners Club to step behind-the-scenes with bonus podcasts, new music, videos, and live concerts. Slainte!

#CFMonthly

Check out this episode!