#all ten of us still in the fandom should reread it right now

[ainelane]

Man i might just reread negima and uqholder... then again i really dont like the first like 40 chapters of negima everything after that is so great though.... fuck it we ball

[facewithoutheart]

Ten Questions for Writers

Thanks for the tags @shrekgogurt, @artsyunderstudy, @youarenevertooold, & @roomwithanopenfire I’m enjoying all this navel-gazing a whole bunch actually & I’ve done this before but it’s been awhile… sooo

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 169 (niiiice)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? ~950k (yikes) although some of that is Birthday Man and collabs with people from WIP fest. Don’t ask me to do the math tho; that’s mean.

3. What fandoms do you write for? I’ve written for HP, Check Please, and RWRB although right now I’m mostly a CO writer with a toe dipping into 9-1-1. I have one Captain America fic posted and some WIPs I don’t know if I’ll finish. Nobody look at that AFTG fic; it’s pure crack.

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Whoo boy do I have thoughts here. I want to be the kind of writer who replies to comments and I harbor so much guilt that I’m not; I know I miss out on opportunities to connect with readers, and I genuinely appreciate comments so much; I hoard them in my inbox like a greedy lil affirmation dragon. I write to engage and connect. So, like, I know I should but at the same time I hate forcing interactions. I like them to spawn organically. I keep my circle small because I get really emotionally overwhelmed and then I feel guilty when I can’t give people what they deserve. And I’ve also never been comfortable with compliments or gratitude, I don’t trust them. So here’s a bulk of emotional trauma no one asked for to say: I don’t reply to comments as often as I feel I should and I’m trying to release the guilt I feel about this while also recognizing that not commenting probably has a direct negative affect on my ability to meet my goal of connecting through writing and at the same time my mental health probably couldn’t withstand the pressure I would need to place on it to get to where I’m replying to comments regularly. Hi I’m a mess who’s trying to love herself and often falls short of that goal; aren’t we all?

5. Have you ever had a fic stolen? No.

6. Have you ever co-written a fic before? So many actually! I didn’t think I’d ever get to a place where I trust someone else to the level this would take but I’ve been really lucky to work with some amazing writers even if not all of those works went anywhere. I actually don’t even think I could realistically tag all the people I’ve collabed with bc I’m afraid I’ll miss someone and isn’t that amazing? Personal growth; we love to see her.

7. What’s your all-time favorite ship? Oh man. I want to just be lame and say it’s me and Mr. Face 🤣 I shipped us when no one else did. Um! Snowbaz is always going to have a special place in my heart, but I’m really leaning into Buddie right now because of age and wanting to explore people in their 30’s still figuring out their lives while battling PTSD and late-in-life sexuality realizations. For, um. Reasons.

8. What are your writing strengths? I do like my dialogue a lot; dialogue is often where I start my scenes and I develop from there. I think I’ve done a good job of honing my ability to vary action/dialogue/internality a lot. I also think I keep people engaged or maybe I just keep myself engaged which is good enough for me. Sometimes I’m funny although sadly not as much recently.

9. What are your writing weaknesses? I struggle with remembering to add in physical descriptors. (Like oh shit have I ever mentioned this character has eyes?) Logistics are a frequent source of pain. (Wait, where were their hands?) I think my plots are kind of basic and boring; I don’t come up with really vivid and detailed concepts. I use the wrong words for things. I really hate detailing out backstory. I have to reread my fics a million times to maintain character consistency. Etc.

10. First fandom you wrote for? Hey Arnold. I wish I could find those fics; I bet they suck.

Tagging 10 peeps @sillyunicorn @mostlymaudlin @martsonmars @bookish-bogwitch @cutestkilla @ivelovedhimthroughworse @thewholelemon @palimpsessed @aristocratic-otter & @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

[elkonigin]

There’s a post that’s making the rounds about how author’s shouldn’t ever delete fics. 

And I get it.  I’m on that platform as a reader.  There are so many incomplete stories, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone back to read them.  Pieces of Me, Sachi, Fade to Black are just a few, and it’s a gut wrenching moment when I reach the last chapter and the story isn’t over, and there’s nothing else, and there probably won’t be anything else ever again.

I realize that author’s change their minds about works, but if you don’t want it attached to your profile, orphaning a work on AO3 is always an option too.  I would much rather see a work orphaned than deleted entirely.  Just because you as a writer no longer want a work, that doesn’t mean that your readers don’t want it.

No longer part of that fandom?  Orphan it. No longer want to finish that story?  Orphan it. No longer want to receive comments on that story?  Orphan it. Makes you cringe when you think about it?  Orphan it.

In the same vein, as a writer, it’s my work and I can do whatever I want with it.  I created it, and I have every right to destroy it too.  Should I?  Maybe.  Maybe not. 

But I, as the writer of this narrative, get to decide what happens to my story.  It is my creation and as its creator, I am the only one who gets to decide what happens to it. If I want to delete all of my stories, it is my right and no one has the ability to shame me for that.  I gave them unto the world, and I get the right to take them away. 

However you feel about the situation though, the problem is that many readers feel as though writers and artists owe it to them to create stories for their amusement.  These are usually the same people who don’t leave comments or interact with the authors/artists to let them know that they actually enjoyed their creation.  Leave comments!  Creators love talking about what they made with others.  And those that don’t respond don’t ignore you, sometimes they just don’t know how to respond. Typing out ‘thanks’ to your keyboard smashing essay writing brand of love sometimes feels inadequate.  Not all of us are extroverts who talk about anything, some of us post quietly in the night and then disappear once more from whence we came. 

It doesn’t have to be complicated: “I love this story!” “You’re an amazing writer!” “I can’t wait for the next chapter!” “I’ve read this twice (thrice) already!” “Consider this 23rd kudos!”

Any of those are acceptable short responses that you can easily type with a finger and your phone. You don’t have to wax poetic or write a ten page essay about something you noticed in the story/artwork.  I promise, we love both comments equally.  We just want to know that we matter--that our work matters to someone, anyone. 

Want to reduce the risk of a story being abandoned?  Tell the creator that they and their creation matter to you!

And if a story is abandoned?  Write a comment each time to you reread it.  It’s rare, but authors have come back to stories after a decade to finish them.  But let us know someone still thinks of us every now and again. 

[zorawitch]

20 Questions for fic writers!

I was graciously tagged by @two-hands-toward-the-sun. I love tag games so much and I love talking about myself so thank you so much!

I hate embedding links, so sorry to everyone about that. Everything should be linked in my pinned post at the moment.

How many works do you have on AO3?

I have eighteen right now! I used to have more but I get embarrassed about old writing really easily.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

150,934. Which is completely insane.

What fandoms do you write for?

Sandman mostly, but Doctor Who and A Song of Ice and Fire are in there too. Good Omens as well.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

"You Will Be The Death Of Me," which is my sole published ASOIAF fic, is first, followed by "Temptation" (my fic about The Nun), "Selfish Prayers," "You Were My Whole World...," and "For A Moment We Were Able To Be Still." I think it's part because a lot of my Sandman fics are reuploads but it's still very weird to me since I don't talk about either ASOIAF or The Nun on here at all.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I grew up using Wattpad and the Wattpad comments section often feels like a battleground to see who can get the author's attention. When I switched to AO3 where writers answering comments is pretty commonplace, I stood amazed. If I haven't answered your comment, you were either too demanding of me (a one-time incident) or I'm waiting until I get like five comments so I can sit down and answer them all at once.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh, it's gotta be "My Ugly Organs (How Lucky We Are)." Partially because using Despair as a narrator means you get angst personified.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably "Is This Fun For You?" It doesn't make a lot of sense, but to me the resolution is pretty happy.

Do you get hate on fics?

Not usually? I have gotten some iffy comments and one person accusing me of appropriating Welsh culture. But nah usually people are kind.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. I write a lot of smut. Mostly stuff with weird power dynamics.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I've never written a crossover.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

If AI thievery counts, then yes. Never by a real person though.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Unfortunately no.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

The idea of doing so scares me. I find it antithetical to my method of writing.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

My apologies for being basic, but mountains will rise and fall and time will ravage the earth and I think it'll still be Aziracrow for me.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have this Rhaenyra/Alicent Siren and Lighthouse Keeper AU that I've been working on since April and I keep delaying it to work on other stuff. It might happen. It might never happen.

What are your writing strengths?

Contrary to the popular stereotype of writers never writing, I will sit down and write nonstop for long periods of time. I usually spend at least an hour a night writing, and every time I sit down for a few minutes, I usually do a couple lines.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I am very weak with criticism and I often set out to write a scene with a certain destination and then I write myself into a corner.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I used to do it a lot, back in my Dracula fanfic days (I was thirteen, it was a bad time). I would want to be more confident in my Romanian and/or Spanish writing before I do it again though.

First fandom you wrote for?

Probably Warrior Cats when I was about ten. The first fic I published was for The School For Good And Evil, though. It was on Wattpad.

Favorite fic you’ve written?

It is "You Were My Whole World... (And You Were Up And Gone)," hands down. I periodically reread it because I love the concept so much and guys we need to be doing stuff with the first Despair's funeral. The entire concept is an angst factory.

Tagging @orion-the-starspinner and @ineffably-ryuu

[iviarellereads]

The Eye of the World, Prologue - Dragonmount

(THIS PROJECT IS SPOILER FREE! No spoilers past the chapter you click on. Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For the link index and a primer on The Wheel of Time, read this one! Like what you see? Send me a Ko-Fi.)

(Wheel icon)(1) In which you're right to be confused.

Sit down, relax, have a sip of tea, open the book: everyone is dead, and the architecture distorted from the flawed magic that killed them in myriad unpleasant ways.(2)

And then Lews Therin Telamon calls out for his wife. He's quite oblivious to the destruction around him, unable to see the woman laying dead, her final expression one of disbelief,(3) at his feet as he calls her name.

For a moment he fingered the symbol on his cloak, a circle half white and half black, the colors separated by a sinuous line. It meant something, that symbol.(4)

But he's easily distracted, here, now, until an old acquaintance comes calling, appearing out of the air in thigh high boots with silver trim the fandom still makes fun of when we reread this and remember. LTT doesn't remember him, though, only asks if he'd like to help with the Singing that will happen soon.(5)

"Shai'tan take you, does the taint already have you so far in its grip?"(6)

The stranger's name was once Elan Morin Tedronai, we don't get his current one, only a nickname: the Betrayer of Hope. LTT is known as the Dragon, and now Kinslayer. He's so far gone, he barely remembers that Shai'tan is a name that should never be spoken. It would seem that he, in his tainted madness, killed his own castle. His own home. His own wife. The Betrayer of Hope names a bunch of titles LTT once held, and is frustrated that now he's so much more powerful than LTT, and LTT has forgotten it all, forgotten him, all but forgotten reality itself.

The BOH says he won't let LTT die without recognizing how far he's fallen, and it's unfortunate that one of the Sisters isn't here, for he never had much skill with Healing,(7) and he uses a different power now.(8) And then, using some kind of magic that darkens the room, he heals LTT's mind.

Pain blazed in Lews Therin, and he screamed, a scream that came from his depths, a scream he could not stop. […] Slowly, ever so slowly, the pain receded. […] His eyes fell on the golden-haired woman, and the scream that was ripped out of him dwarfed every sound he had made before.

He crawls to her, screaming and weeping. BOH promises, he could have her back if he turned to the dark, even now. But, LTT remembers, now, that BOH's "foul master" has racked the world for ten years.

"This war has not lasted ten years, but since the beginning of time. You and I have fought a thousand battles with the turning of the Wheel, a thousand times a thousand, and we will fight until time dies and the Shadow is triumphant!"(9)

LTT swears vengeance for Ilyena, but BOH reminds him who led a futile attack that tainted male magic and drove all male channelers mad, and who killed everyone in this castle. LTT howls again, and in his grief, can't bear to stay in his home.

Desperately he reached out to the True Source, to tainted saidin, and he Traveled.(10)

He lands in a vast plain, near a river, and can sense that there are no people for hundreds of leagues.

He was still touching saidin, the male half of the power that drove the universe, that turned the Wheel of Time, and he could feel the oily taint fouling its surface, the taint of the Shadow's counterstroke, the taint that doomed the world. Because of him. Because in his pride he had believed that men could match the Creator[.](11)

He channels more than any one person can bear, begging the Light's forgiveness, and creates a massive volcano that just keeps growing.

At last the wind died, the earth stilled to trembling mutters. Of Lews Therin Telamon, no sign remained. Where he had stood a mountain now rose miles into the sky, molten lava still gushing from its broken peak. The broad, straight river had been pushed into a curve away from the mountain, and there it split to form a long island in its midst. The shadow of the mountain almost reached the island; it lay dark across the land like the ominous hand of prophecy.(12)

BOH watches from some distance, saying LTT can't escape that easily, then disappears. Then two fragments of in-world texts, prophecies about the Dragon being reborn.

And the Shadow fell upon the Land, and the World was riven stone from stone. The oceans fled, and the mountains were swallowed up, and the nations were scattered to the eight corners of the World. The moon was as blood, and the sun was as ashes. The seas boiled, and the living envied the dead. All was shattered, and all but memory lost, and one memory above all others, of him who brought the Shadow and the Breaking of the World. And him they named Dragon.(13) (From Aleth nin Taerin alta Camora, The Breaking of the World. Author unknown, the Fourth Age) And it came to pass in those days, as it had come before and would come again, that the Dark lay heavy on the land and weighed down the hearts of men, and the green things failed, and hope died. And men cried out to the Creator, saying, O Light of the Heavens, Light of the World, let the Promised One be born of the mountain,(14) according to the prophecies, as he was in ages past and will be in ages to come. Let the Prince of the Morning sing to the land that green things will grow and the valleys give forth lambs. Let the arm of the Lord of the Dawn shelter us from the Dark, and the great sword of justice defend us.(15) Let the Dragon ride again on the winds of time. (From Charal Drianaan te Calamon, The Cycle of the Dragon. Author unknown, the Fourth Age)(16)

=====

(1) Yep, this is the titular wheel itself. I will list the icons on all chapters, particularly because the audiobook readers don't get any indication they exist, but I'm not going to try to post an image of each one every time it comes up. If you don't mind a list that gives away a few concepts that come up through the series, this page has all the images and a one or two word descriptor for each, without giving away where or how many times they're used going forward. I think they're a really interesting little game: what does each chapter icon mean, who or what does it refer to in the world, what might you be able to learn about the meaning of a chapter from the icon? Not necessarily for this one, but keep it in mind, and I might give it away for each one when it becomes clear what it's meant to be. (2) I believe it's fair to tell you it was magic, considering the detail in the introductory paragraph. Lightning down corridors, flames that chase, and stones that flow like liquid. Certainly no natural force we know of. (3) And as the text says she's his wife, wouldn't you be surprised to be magic-murdered by your husband? (4) It sure does. A circle in two halves, the sinuous line… it could almost be a yin-yang, except no mention of an eye or dot exchanged. Still, might be worth keeping this one in mind. (5) Always fun to try and interpret Very Important Capitalized Words in the context of a new world, isn't it? What could the Voice and the Singing be, that we're not used to? (6) Shai'tan, Satan, fairly straightforward. Also, get used to seeing taint because it comes up a LOT and we all like to giggle at it despite its horrifying nature. (7) Another two odd capitals in succession. (8) So, multiple powers are available. (9) Part of the setup, or perhaps conceit, of this world is that time is utterly cyclical. Exact events may not repeat, but the broad strokes will. We don't know how long the cycle is, but this guy seems convinced that it's been cycling a very, very long time. (10) A lot of information and word-dropping here. I think it's safe to say, the True Source is one of many names given to the magic in this world, along with others we'll see along the way. Traveling is fairly self-explanatory, going from one place to another with magic. Saidin is the name for the male half of the source, which was tainted when…

(11) OK, contextualizing what information is here: LTT led the Hundred Companions against the Lord of the Dark (whoever or whatever that is) trying to win the long and wretched war that lay behind them. Instead, they failed, and the DO tainted the male half of the power so that anyone who channels it will go mad, and do little things like kill their loved ones. This isn't your typical "mental illness" sort of mad, but a literal corruption of sanity and body by magical influence directly from the antithesis of literal God. (12) The chapter-namer, Dragonmount, the Dragon's mountain. Born of his shame. Surely not a symbol of anything, nor will it ever come up in conversation again. (13) Funny, we were just told by someone who knew the Dragon that he earned that name before all that happened, since that's what was just beginning in this little prologue. Isn't it interesting how history can lose details in the twisting of time? (14) Hey look, a saying about being born on a mountain, when a very convenient one was just boomed into existence. (15) The other excerpt seemed to indicate that the Dragon was a bringer of death and chaos, but this one, if it's referring to the same man (which seems likely as they're both attached to the same prologue chapter), seems to frame him as an object of hope and protection. Both are given equal weight here. Again I say, it's funny how history, translation, time, and interpretation can shift our understanding. So, is the Dragon a man of destruction and chaos, or of protection and salvation? We have 15 books ahead of us, do you think it will be as simple as one or the other? (16) Also interesting (I'm gonna overuse that word a lot) that both these books are said to be from the Fourth Age. You'll see why literally in the first paragraph of chapter 1 so I don't feel bad saying it here.

[inkpenparker]

hi!! i’ve been rereading iutwtbahuiftehd a lot recently and thinking of you often. I remember you disclosing that you’ve been going through a tough time with work/family since COVID so I wanted to send you a quick message saying I hope things are getting better for you, and that life has gotten easier… and if not then I thought you should know that unfinished or not iutwtbahuiftehd is one of my favourite stories ever on Ao3, and I truly thank you for all the work you put into it ❤️

this is a lil messy but basically what i’m trying to say is that you’re in my thoughts and I hope you’re okay 😊

Hi 😊

You’re very kind, very very kind, and I appreciate it.

I unfortunately still am going through a really rough time. I know it’s a meme right now that every time a fanfiction author disappears from writing you know that it involves death but, a couple of months ago, I lost another family member. It wasn’t from COVID while already immunocompromised this time, but it was my favorite uncle and it was very sudden. (If I had a nickel for every uncle I lost in less than ten months who also had cancer, I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot but it is weird that it happened twice). And for lots of reasons that I’m sure I don’t have to spell out, that made writing within the spider-man fandom… A little too difficult for a while 😅.

But as I told another friend of mine a few weeks ago, I am actually writing again. And weirdly enough after a time it became cathartic. Which is what this story started out being over a year ago when I first start writing it to get through another really hard time. I’d lost Penny’s voice somehow in my own tribulations and it’s been a really hard time trying to find it again. But sometimes when you come to a place where you truly feel like you have nothing, the stuff you love the most become more obvious. Easier to identify. And I love writing, even stuff that’s not my own.

I don’t have a definitive update time, I wish I did. When I started posting that series, I had nearly 80,000 words written already, and I got ahead of myself. In a lot of ways, continuing as I am, trying to build it back up feels like I’m starting from scratch again, and I have a small fraction of that done and chapter ten needs many transitional scenes. However, my free time is limited to a few hours a day at work where I have nothing to do, so it’s much slower than it used to be. But, where there was no progress before- I can tell you that we are definitely moving along.

Thank you, again, believe me when I say it means a lot to writers and artists when comments and asks and stuff are left when hiatus comes along. It means the world to know that even when we are struggling to come up with the phrases to say more, what’s already there still holds it’s worth and meaning to others like it does us. Logically, I know that as a rereader myself, but you’re always more critical when the work is your own.

Thank you. 🥲

[silvershayde]

ok, your mot recent/current fandom interest, any stories you have for that? absolutely doesn't have to be transformers if it aint that

if not then more on the history of your terran predacons au pls <33

Okay so sadly I haven't done anything new recently. Thank Uni for that. But I dived into my files on anything I might've written or anything like that because I haven't picked up a pen of any kind in a while except for that one time I drew one of my ocs that was a product of a jujutsu kaisen fixation. Not to mention the AU I have actually posted about, the Sonic Acaesia one, is very much due for an overhaul especially considering so many things have changed. Like the fact that some characters who were initially part of the main story just aren't anymore.

I scoured through all my files related to transformers so I'll list the stuff down here cause its a couple of little underdeveloped things heh.

So I'll start with this one fic that I'm pretty sure was me venting. It was set tfp times and it was in second pov. I was using the concept of hanahaki's but instead of using it like unrequited feelings, I was using it as a "keep any emotions bottled up and unsaid and boom, coughing up flowers time". I reread it for the first time just now and it did bring out the feels so I'm reserving that for when I'm really Going Through It. Oh and it was called "the weeds in my garden are consuming me".

Here's like a lil excerpt for you lol and yes it was written in second pov because why not

Sadly no new things about my decepticon experiment au. i haven't thought of it for some time now honestly. I've been caught up with a fic that's only kind of doing the same thing so like not in mind at all. It's very much scratching that itch for me and I'm not exactly fully fully into transformers right now so likeeeeee.

BUT! I don't exactly remember what I have said about my predacon au, which should make talking about it easier.

So I should probably preface this by saying that even though I do call this the predacon/dracatron au, they only become a focus in the second arc (i guess) of the story when the Cybertronians that left Cybertron before the war started ended up on Earth. Then in the last arc they be coexisting with the cybertronians and by this point in time the Cybers (Earth-born cybertronians) are also out and about.

I made it a note that out of 13 ships that left cybertron, only ten made it to earth. Each ship came from one of the city states or whatever but did NOT name their new settlements after where there were from, yknow new settlements and all. However, those from off world do still go by the cities they know. For example Beatpulse is from Praxus so she is still known as Beatpulse of Praxus. When she changed her name to Kardia, she's known as Kardia of Notion. If that makes sense. Situations like Kardia only happen to those that changed their name, something something new starts. But aside from that usually you can tell if a mech is a Cybertronian or a Cyber based off which cities they go by. As much as I'd like to say it doesn't cause divide sometimes, it does.

Here's the cities and their earth equivalents:

Kaon -> Quantum

Iacon -> Vertex

Praxus -> Notion

Polyhex -> Neural

Altihex -> Neurone

Crystal City -> Diamond

Vos -> Ambit

Simfur -> Helix

Tarn -> Patron

Kalis -> Prism

I also kinda just took the concept of city-speakers and just made it my own. Something something over time the meaning of words and titles change. A rhetoric arose when they arrived on earth that essentially meant that the city is the people not the place. So a city-speaker is literally just a political position where they speak for their people in a sort of council. I don't know politics so I'm just leaving it at that. Diamond's city-speaker shenanigans are usually top gossip because every time elections come round something unorthodox happens over there.

I wish I was brave enough to write for this AU because it's one of the AUs i come back to mentally the most. The Sonic Acaesia AU is still like my biggest AU but again that's due for an overhaul - that happens every few years since its been simmering in my brain for so long (please if your interested send me questions i got a lot to say about it). But I digress.

Going back to the arcs, arc 1 is mainly in the perspective of Beatpulse and her life on cybertron. It came about when I was thinking of how other mechs were living whilst Megatron was protesting in the beginning like before everything hit the fan. Specifically a mech (Beatpulse in this case) wanting to learn about something that had nothing to do with her place on Cybertron. And obviously the chaos that ensues because of it.

Arc 2 is when they've reached Earth as I've mentioned early but this is the main bit where it is loosely inspired by HTTYD. I have to figure out how they are even THERE before any mechs had officially arrived but technically speaking the dracatron business is a side story in this arc. This doesn't take place in the settlement Beatpulse, who is now Kardia at this point, is a part of. But that doesn't mean she never makes an appearance ^-^. This arc follows a mech a part of the first wave of Cybers that hit these cities.

I will say though the dracatrons here are in abundance and they've been on the planet for a hot minute. I'm torn between a shockwave-esque reason as to why they are there, or some of them were preserved on cybertron and just sent of alongside one of them information pods seen in tfp, or just go the whole unicron is a planet thing and since energon is in abundance it is not farfetched to believe it was an energy source for something from the get. I will decide someday lol.

Arc 3 is... the least thought out currently. All I do know is that Cybers are everywhere at this point, there are invaders from the stars, Diamond has a new city-speaker, the mech from arc 2 is also a city-speaker, and this arc is, i think, my first proper attempt at a dark turn for a story. Usually I can't deal with crazy shit in my stories since I'm here for a fun time, but this is where my inspiration drawn from the movie Nine comes in and it's actually kinda horrific. Heh it's not a fun story. But it isn't exactly out there in terms of the plots when it comes to Transformers. I do know how that Arc ends. Maybe one day I'll write these out.

But yeah my aus concerning transformers. Sorry this took like a decade to respond I've been floating about sorta. It's been rough out here. Hope you enjoyed!

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 317: My Boy Was Just Like Me

Previously on BnHA: AFO randomly blew up Lady Nagant as a good reminder of why you should never make a deal with this fucking guy, smdh. Hawks was all “well if it isn’t my two best friends, Deku and Lady Nagant, both of whom I respect and love tremendously.” Everyone was all “??” and Horikoshi was all “shh... just pretend” because it was too embarrassing for him to admit that he forgot to write a couple of set-up flashbacks I guess. Anyway so Hawks got Lady to tell them where AFO was hiding out, and everyone said goodbye to her and Overhaul, who never did get to see his boss (sorry buddy, I’ll send you a vial of my tears in the mail), and headed out to a house in the woods. AFO was all “hello Deku :) :) it sure is fun making you suffer :) :) :) anyways this is a trap”, and blew up the house. Yeah, we all here are getting reaaaaaaaal tired of your shit, AFO.

Today on BnHA: The Hawksquad and Edgeplatoon meet in a warehouse and are all “what should we do about the fact that everything sucks?” Mt. Lady is all “here’s a thought, what if we tried battling AFO with more than six people.” Hawks and Endeavor are all “great initiative, but just a friendly reminder that our friends also suck and would probably betray Deku which would suck further still.” Shouto is all “ANSWER THE PHONE DAD” and Endeavor is all “[IRONICALLY DOESN’T ANSWER THE PHONE].” Meanwhile over in Sadtown, capital of Sadland Prefecture, Japan, Deku is all “All Might, as you can clearly see I am completely fine and good, never been better in fact, definitely not caught up in the throes of an epic mental breakdown which is shutting me down emotionally, anyway so on that note I would like to leave you now goodbye!!” All Might is all “[can’t actually form any words because he’s too distraught].” Fandom is all “o(╥﹏╥)o.” Horikoshi is all “(*＾-’) 乃 [pew pew finger guns and barrel rolls into the darkness].”

sweet jesus lord

this literally doesn’t even look like Deku anymore?? this looks like Dark!Deku who shows up to fight you in that one room in the Water Temple. he looks like he’s about to crawl out of my television set and murder me with his psychic powers good lord

holy shit lmao Horikoshi is really just shrugging his shoulders and resolving last week’s cliffhanger with a single line of dialogue

fire is no one’s weakness. idk what other options you’ve got, AFO, but you’re gonna have to go back to the drawing board. maybe try bees or something. I’m just saying. we’re all expecting fire at this point but nobody is expecting bees

anyway so now they’re all sitting in some warehouse somewhere chatting about it I guess. shoutout to Horikoshi for finally giving my man Edgeshot some more dialogue at long last

well, Edgeshot, to answer your question, she exploded. so naturally she’s fine

nah just kidding, Hawks says she won’t be able to help them out much because she’s recovering from being exploded. this is the part where we all ignore the fact that Hawks got set on fire for like a full ten minutes back during the War arc and was only in the hospital for a day. anyways enjoy your temporary plot hiatus Nagant

man there’s a lot of dialogue here and I’m trying to figure out where to insert commentary but it’s kinda difficult lol. basically, Edge and the others are saying that they should gather up the other remaining heroes and get them all caught up on the whole OFA situation. which, hmmmm

like on the one hand, these guys definitely aren’t going to cut it on their own, so it’s a reasonable suggestion on the face of it. but on the other hand, do we really want to entrust the OFA secret to a bunch of other people, most of whom shat the bed during the War arc to be quite frank? is it really worth the additional risk? especially given that any one of them might go spilling the beans to the public -- or worse, betray them to AFO??

also just a quick side note here, Mt. Lady’s character development never ceases to delight me. she’s become so committed to her responsibility as a hero these days, and it fucking suits her. I genuinely consider to be one of the elites now. I mean it doesn’t hurt that all the other elites are fucking dead lol but still

wait what? Death Arms retired??

Death Arms as in the guy who was too afraid of a little fire to try and save a terrified 14-year-old kid who was slowly suffocating right before his eyes?? that Death Arms???? color me surprised. shocked, I tell you

...okay but holy fuck

Death Arms. bro. my expectations for you were low but holy shit. like I’m sorry, but I don’t even have it in me to try and pretend like I feel the slightest bit of sympathy for him or Old Man Samurai or any of those other guys today. thanks for a whole lot of nothing my dude. good riddance

(ETA: so I’m rereading this the next day and realize this comes off as kind of harsh, so let me just try to clarify. it’s not the fact that he’s quitting that bothers me, to be honest. it’s the fact that he’s quitting specifically because he feels like the public is being mean to him. that’s it.

seriously. it would be one thing if he was quitting because he was scared, because now that is human. nobody wants to die, and I doubt any amount of training can ever fully prepare someone to go up against that fear. but the thing is, he never once mentions that, or talks about the danger aspect. instead, I got the distinct vibe from this speech that Death Arms is one of those people who only became a hero because of the limelight. and I just don’t have any patience for that. if all you care about are likes and subscribes then go become a fucking youtuber or some shit. nothing wrong with that! but you didn’t; you signed up to be a hero and protect these people. they gave you their respect and admiration because they trusted you to protect them. and now that they’re no longer in the mood to worship and applaud your every move on account of them being scared shitless because they’re living in the literal end times, you decide to dip. so like okay, fine then. don’t let the door hit you on the way out. anyways lol sorry for the rant.)

anyway so yeah. perfect example of why I don’t exactly have a ton of faith in most of the remaining heroes out there lol. also let me just once again give a shoutout to my best girl Mt. Lady whom I suddenly find myself appreciating all the more

“please calm down makeste. drink some water and enjoy this fresh new jeans pun” listen Horikoshi don’t tell me what to do dammit

fine. it is a nice pun, I guess

-- damn so now Endeavor’s saying that the media is already being fed info by the retired heroes. so for some of these guys it wasn’t enough for them to abandon all the people they swore to protect and to leave their fellow heroes out in the cold; they decided they might as well actively make things worse for them while they were at it, huh. like I get wanting to spill all the dirty secrets from your old job that you just quit, but this isn’t Jeff Bezos you’re screwing over, this is a sixteen-year-old kid

-- like, yes!! this, right here!!

exactly!! let’s not forget that there are already two prior instances of this happening. Endeavor arguably deserved it, but Katsuki not so much

huh. Endeavor seems to have a more optimistic outlook regarding this than I do lol

I mean, this is the same public that didn’t hesitant to blame a kidnapped child for his own kidnapping, and then later on for being the downfall of the Symbol of Peace. but okay then

anyway so blah blah blah, more talk about how they need to use Deku as bait, which basically puts them back at square one, and then they’re all just trailing off into silence and sitting around in the dark lmao this is getting very depressing

SKDJFLSDKJ:LFKJ

SHOUTO?????

NOOOOOOOO ARE YOU KIDDING ME

OH HOW THE TURNTABLES OMG. THE GHOSTER HAS BECOME THE GHOSTEE. Endeavor you petty son of a bitch. and what a brutal cut to that flashback too. “let’s stop Touya together” nah Shouto I’ve got a better idea why don’t I abandon you in U.A. and sally off with Hawks and Jeanist to found the “let’s pretend like we’re doing something to help Deku” club, which basically consists of us sitting around making terrible decisions all day long

Shouto, honey. you deserve better my little Coca Cola can. .........but if you really do have something important you need to tell your dad you could just text it to him. all the love and support, hugs and kisses, you’re doing amazing sweetie. but if you need to pass on any vital information you can just write it down and hit send honey that’s all I’m saying love

now he’s getting another call?? -- or, no, Hawks is getting a call from All Might

ARE YOU FOR REAL HAWKS OMFG

so while you all were sitting around talking about how useless you are, the kid you’re supposed to be protecting was battling another hired gun. I see. please pardon me for one second, I have a phone call to make. the phone call is to RockLockRock and Manual. the reason for the call is to apologize for calling them the worst bodyguards ever back during the War arc. the reason for the apology is because it turns out I WAS SEVERELY MISTAKEN OMFG

JESUS CHRIST DEKU DID YOU JUST KILL THIS MAN LMAO

shoutout to Horikoshi for offscreening this fight. we get it, lol. Deku strong and scary, villains ineffectual and feeble, and AFO... [checks notes] yep, still a dick. the angst arc continues

-- the angst arc continues, SIR

jesus christ I may have to rethink all of my opinions about Deku being framed for murder in movie 3 lmao. never mind. he did it, your honor

holy fucking shit Deku. “he might blow up, so please be careful” fdlskjflk jlskdjflk lwkejflk anyway so I’ve decided the explosion running gag can stay, actually

DEKU WAIT YOU FORGOT YOUR LUNCH!!

lol why do I get the feeling some serious shit is about to go down. ALL MIGHT NEVER MIND BACK OFF I THINK HE NEEDS HIS SPACE

OH MY FUCK I GASPED OUT LOUD

NO NO NO. I KNEW THIS WAS COMING GODDAMMIT BUT NO. NEVER MIND, I CHANGED MY MIND ABOUT IT, I’M NOT READY TO CRY TODAY

shit. shit shit shit shit and OF COURSE all I can fucking think about is that stupid fucking prophecy and gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Deku please. please please please if you really are going to leave All Might here, please be so very careful in choosing your farewell words to him now because have this sudden horrible fear that this might be the last time you ever see him alive and oh god. oh god oh god

DEKU NO, YOU’RE REALLY NOT!?!?

I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYONE LESS FINE IN MY LIFE, ACTUALLY????

holy shit. and the fucking callback to the prophecy now. just in case we forgot. WHICH FYI, WE DIDN’T. but that’s basically confirming that this is all still very much on the table and HORIKOSHI NEVER FORGETS oh my god someone please hold me

and the fact that Deku’s flashing back to it now too, though?? because he never forgot either, because of course he didn’t, and now all this stuff is happening, and AFO’s words are getting to him, and this is literally his worst fear come to life and so of course he’s distancing himself from everyone, and now it’s finally come to even this. even the person he admires most

-- OKAY NO, FUCKING COME ON ALREADY I CAN’T TAKE THIS

I GET IT OH MY GOD, I ALREADY UNDERSTAND THE EMOTIONAL IMPACT OF THIS MOMENT WITHOUT ALL OF THE DEVASTATING FLASHBACKS THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!! YOU ACTUALLY DO WANT ME TO CRY, HUH, IS THAT IT. THIS MAN THAT HE THINKS OF AS A FATHER, THIS MAN WHO HAS BEEN EVERYTHING TO HIM SINCE HE WAS A VERY YOUNG CHILD. EVERYTHING THEY’VE BEEN THROUGH, JUXTAPOSED AGAINST EVERYTHING DEKU IS UP AGAINST, EVERYTHING THAT’S AT RISK. LET’S JUST PUT IT ALL SIDE BY SIDE. LET’S JUST PILE ON ALL OF THE FEELS

(ETA: just a quick note that even though some of the posts I’ve read have described these as All Might’s flashbacks, I’m pretty sure they are Deku’s. most of these are scenes that only he was there for, so yeah. even though All Might is the one thinking the thoughts on the next page, the flashbacks are what’s running through Deku’s mind right now, and so we’re getting that emotion from both of them, which makes it extra devastating lol.)

wait, what???

WHAT??? do you really think that’s why he’s been so determined to protect you this entire time?? simply because you’re his successor?

-- oh no wait lol I think I got that mixed up, this is All Might saying that Deku feels the need to protect him. well that makes more sense lol

oh my god I cannot

his last words. his last words to him. and we can’t even see if he is smiling, like All Might always encouraged him to do. but what are the odds he can’t actually bring himself to do it. what are the odds he’s actually crying. oh god this scene is going to rip my heart out and STOMP on it in the anime isn’t it. Deku’s VA is going to full on murder me with emotion. not that there’ll be much of me left to murder after the thorough job that Horikoshi has already done here

YOU’RE CRYING. DEKU IS LEAVING ALL MIGHT AND IGNORING HIS OUTSTRETCHED HAND AND YOU’RE CRYING. AND BY “YOU” I MEAN “ME”, FUCK

nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope no words just feels just a big ol’ pile of feels. I do not have the strength. future me... [broadly gestures] good luck with all that

(ETA: LOL, WELL THEN.

what breaks my heart here is All Might. All Might, and everything he’s been through, and history repeating itself, and forcing him to live this moment from both sides because he wasn’t strong enough to fix things.

Toshinori had only just turned eighteen when Nana died. like, I feel like we don’t mention this enough. the All Might we know is a sixty-something-year-old man, and so everyone always talks about him like he’s basically been an adult forever. but he was a child when he met Nana. and he was still just a child when she died. barely a year older than Deku is now. younger than Mirio was when we first met him.

and we don’t talk about that. we don’t talk about how devastating that was for him. and we don’t talk about how the reason he grew up to become so reserved and withdrawn -- for all that he always tried so hard to outwardly project the image of a bold, confident, smiling hero -- was specifically because of what AFO did to him. because AFO targeted him in the exact way that he is now targeting Deku. because that’s what he does. he goes after every new user of OFA, and he finds out what’s most important to them, and then he destroys it. and for Toshinori, that was Nana. if you’ve read All Might Rising, you know that AFO basically killed her in front of him (and only killed her, while letting Toshinori and Gran get away). Toshinori (while crying) later says she was like a mother to him. and interestingly enough, during this same conversation, Gran tells Toshinori that he can see “that madness in [his] eyes” when Toshi talks about becoming strong enough to defeat AFO. madness in his eyes. sound familiar??

what’s happening to Deku now is the exact same thing that happened to Toshinori when he was a boy. AFO tried every bit as hard to break him as he’s trying with Deku now. “the path you’ve chosen is a thorny one. every battle grinds away at your soul with no end in sight.” we don’t talk about how Toshinori experienced this same thing for forty fucking years. and all the while isolating himself, exactly like Deku is doing now. pushing people away, exactly like Deku. because he never had anyone who was able to reach out and pull him back. and those words that he now finds himself frozen and unable to speak -- “don’t push yourself”; “you can rest” -- are the same words that no one ever said to him until decades later, when it was already far too late to make any difference.

everything that Deku is experiencing now is what Toshinori also went through. and it’s only now, as he watches it happen to his student, the boy he loves like a son, that he’s finally starting to realize the full extent of how wrong it was. you shouldn’t have to fight alone. you shouldn’t have to bear that kind of enormous burden alone. you shouldn’t have to push yourself, and you can rest. you can rest.

but it’s too late. just as he’s finally coming to understand it all, it’s all too fucking late. and he can’t say the words, he doesn’t know how to say the words, and then just like that, Deku is gone.

and he’s alone. again.)

I can’t. this can’t be their goodbye. I’m not ready. for this to be how they finally part, and then they never see each other again except in OFA. how is that fair. how is that fair. how is that fair

fuck me. lol. how many pages are left in this thing. let’s just wrap this up lol. so now of all the times for this fucking guy to finally show up

I can’t believe Stain has been here literally this entire time hiding behind this random wall and cutting onions. that was you who was cutting the onions, right. no need to answer that we’ll just say it was

HORIKOSHI JUST END THE CHAPTER PLEASE I’M OUT OF SPOONS. YOU HURT ME SO GOOD AND I LOVE YOU FOR IT BUT YOU NEED TO LET ME GO NOW SO I CAN BEGIN THE PROCESS OF TRYING TO PUT MY LIFE BACK IN ORDER HERE. SO WHERE ARE WE CUTTING TO NOW WHAT IS HAPPENING

Stain did you also let AFO give you a new quirk. what’s with you guys. do you like blowing up

oh nvm lol because they were talking about THIS GUY ohhhhhh my fucking god

THAT’S BECAUSE HE’S SAD, LINDA!! jesus

omfg. and so yes, good, the chapter is ending here now on page 15. for once I am FULLY on board with that lmao

anyway so tune in next week for more adventures of Werewolf Deku!! that is, assuming we don’t finally cut back to U.A. at long last, which is actually a strong possibility considering that this chapter will likely mark the end of volume 31. it sure wouldn’t kill Horikoshi to start giving us some hope after everything he’s just put us through lol. KACCHAN COME GET YA BOY

[whispersatdawn]

on the rebound | jeong jaehyun social media!au | part 23

↳ In an attempt to finally move on from his ex-girlfriend, basketball star Jeong Jaehyun reaches out to Y/N, who he knows has a crush on him.

prev | next || masterlist

word count: ~1.5k

You lovingly gazed back down at the big bouquet on your lap, and your smile automatically grew bigger at the sight of the beautifully arranged flowers sent by Jaehyun. Your fingers brushed against the small note card attached, rereading the cursive print: Thinking of my favorite person again <3

“From, your... boyfriend,” you finished, feeling your cheeks warm, still slightly unaccustomed to the label that reminded you that Jaehyun was yours.

In the past few days, Jaehyun gained confidence to show more affection towards you. Although you noticed he preferred to do so in private, in front of your friend group, he had no problems occasionally holding your hand, or putting his arm around your shoulders, or giving you quick kisses. Jaehyun also enjoyed taking you on romantic dinner dates, and when neither of you felt like going out, he would order takeout and bring it over to your apartment. You were kind of sure it was an excuse for him to stay the night, too, not that you were complaining at all. You adored him for making you feel loved.

Soft knocks appeared on your bedroom door, pulling you away from your thoughts. After you acknowledged the person on the other side, the door opened, and Sujin’s head popped in. “Do you need anything from the store?” your friend asked. “Johnny and I are gonna go right now. I need to buy more shampoo and conditioner.”

“Um... can you please get bread and eggs? We’re about to run out. Also, do we need anything for the beach house?”

“Got it, and I don’t think so? I mean, if you think of anything, you can just text us while we’re there. To be honest, I haven’t even started packing yet,” Sujin sighed.

“Same,” you admitted, matching the other’s sigh. “And where’s Ten? I haven’t seen him since I got home.”

“Taking a nap. Oh, by the way, I just finished my laundry, so you can go ahead and do yours—”

“Sujin!” you heard Johnny call from the living room. “Are you ready? Let’s head out.”

“Coming!” replied Sujin as she turned back to you. She said goodbye in a sing-song voice, but not before her eyes shifted down to the bouquet, grinning. “Gorgeous flowers!”

The rest of the day went by in a tranquil manner. You did laundry, and when Sujin and Johnny returned from the store and Ten woke up, the four of you spent a majority of the time together catching up on your favorite TV show until the evening.

“Geez, it’s almost ten thirty,” Johnny said with a yawn, stretching his arms as he glanced at the clock on the wall. “I think I’m gonna call it early. Got the morning shift.”

Sujin lifted her head from your shoulder and removed the blanket from the both of you. “Yeah, I’m getting tired, too,” she said. “Guess that’s it for the night.”

You reached for the remote to turn the TV off. “Aw, okay. I should really start packing for the weekend anyway, it’s—”

The ring of the doorbell cut you off, causing you to look at your roommates in confusion, and they returned the same look.

“Were we expecting anyone?” you asked, brows drawn together, and the others shook their heads.

Johnny was the one who walked over to the door and looked through the peephole. “It’s for you, Y/N,” he said, pushing the door open, revealing a sheepish Jaehyun at the entrance. He was dressed in a gray sweatshirt and pants.

Your boyfriend gave a single wave. “Hey, guys,” he greeted before turning his attention to you. “Um, I texted you a few times, but you didn’t respond.”

“What? I should’ve heard—” You started, but then immediately remembered that you put your phone on silent, faced down next to you in order to focus on the show. You let out a groan, cursing yourself mentally. “I’m sorry. My phone was on silent, and I haven’t checked it.”

Johnny closed the door and bid goodnight, with the others following after him to the hallway, leaving you and Jaehyun alone.

“Night, guys. Did I come at a bad time?” Jaehyun asked you, wrapping his arm around your waist and leaning down to give you a soft kiss on the lips. You noticed the worried look on his face when you pulled away and could not help but kiss his pouty lips again.

“No, they were headed to bed anyway,” you assured him. “I’m really sorry I didn’t read your texts. What did they say?”

“I wanted to take you out to see you, but I guessed I ended up doing so anyway,” he said with a chuckle.

You giggled. “You literally saw me yesterday when we all hung out with everyone at the bowling alley.”

Jaehyun shrugged. “What can I say? You have me under some kind of spell.”

You let out another laugh, playfully rolling your eyes at the cheesy comment as you reached for his hand, leading him to your room.

“What’d you do all day?” Jaehyun asked.

“Nothing much. Just some chores. I was about to pack right now, but then you showed up.”

“You can still pack. Don’t let me stop you.” He bounced onto your queen-sized bed before sitting back upright, legs hanging off the edge.

“Now, why would I pack,” you started, walking over to Jaehyun, “when I have my handsome boyfriend right in front of me?” You settled yourself over his lap, and he automatically placed both of his hands on your waist.

“I am a pretty interesting person, huh?” Jaehyun replied, licking his lips as he watched you.

“Very.”

You placed both hands on the sides of his face and kissed him. You caught scent of the woodsy cologne he always wore; it had grown to become one of your favorites, too. The kiss was sweet, and a part of you wanted Jaehyun to take it a little further, but Jaehyun pulled away, slightly taking you by surprise. “I... actually came here for another reason,” he told you softly, tucking stray hairs behind your ear and staring into your eyes.

“What is it?”

He started reaching into his pocket, so you moved off of him, sitting yourself next to your boyfriend as he pulled the content out. Jaehyun handed you a small box with a brand name printed on top. “Open it,” he said.

When you opened the box, you gasped, eyes wide at the beautiful rose gold heart necklace displayed inside. The chain was simple and the heart was small, but you knew from the brand that it was expensive. “Jaehyun...”

“Do you like it?” he asked, smiling as he watched your reaction. “Can I put it on you?”

You did not know what to say, so you nodded your head, handing the box back to Jaehyun. He removed the necklace from the box. “Turn around.”

Your body turned to the opposite side, facing the wall. You felt Jaehyun’s body warmth as he moved closer behind you. He placed the necklace in front of you, and you gathered your hair, lifting it up so that he could bring the chain around to the back and connect the clasp. You let your hair down and fiddled with the heart between your thumb and index finger, smiling to yourself. Then you felt Jaehyun’s fingers touch your skin as he brushed your hair away and he planted a kiss on the side of your neck.

A shiver ran down your spine, and you sighed at the contact. Turning around, you found Jaehyun watching you as if waiting to see what you would do next. “Thank you,” you said, voice almost in a whisper. “I love it.”

“Good.”

“Are you gonna stay tonight, too?”

“I want to.”

“Good, because I also want you to.”

After you turned off the lights, the moon was the only illumination, peeking through your window. You laid beside Jaehyun under the covers, and he instantly pulled you closer to him so that you were pressing against his chest. You practically melt in his arms, feeling safe around him. “Because of you, I’m starting to not like sleeping alone as much,” you mumbled, trying to fight off sleep.

Jaehyun chuckled. “Then it’s already going according to plan. You’re gonna be the one whipped for me.”

“Says the guy who showed up at my place after I ignored his texts and gifted me an expensive necklace. Who’s whipped for who?”

“Okay now,” Jaehyun said, tickling your side, causing you to burst into giggles before pressing your lips together, remembering your roommates were asleep. “Stop embellishing the story, Y/N. You did not ignore my texts.”

You stuck your tongue out at him jokingly. “Same difference.”

“Mhmm.” The tiredness was apparent in his voice, and your eyes started to drift to a close. Your boyfriend placed a kiss on your forehead, on your nose, and the last one on your lips. You let out a content hum. The last thing you heard before you fell asleep was a low whisper from Jaehyun.

“Night, baby.”

taglist: @fluffyjaes @hwangful @seeking-faces @urlocalnctstan @justineasian @127-jaehyun @dearjaehyxn @taesty-jams @jeneyesmile @taeiluv127 @mango-bear @marklexleaf @generantionct @tyxsaturn @247byun @yourchasingsunsetslove @2000-september @jaeficrecs @bitchenderyy @thorscrown @leaurcitee @erisxczenie @minavenue @phoenixes-and-wizards @renjunf00ls @notminniie @sanisms @sunflowerhae @jeyyes @ohmy-fandoms @artfulbarnes @anotherfullsun @moons00 @nctlovesme @unmanageable-day @raywishii @thejungjaehyun @venusprada @doyobun @nshitae @andrea-chanel @llamabouquet @joeycheungg @tobiobb @wkhdery @itsdnguyenxoxo @ngayongabi @queen-of-himbos @beemarkie @jackyeongljin @seventeeneration @bdxxbi @joeokotoro @cacaubs @kwanseo @h1acynth @flwrtbz @jaehyunismine @alifethatsonlyonthepage @heheimsoft @m1ss-foodi3 @notsooperfect @ruthiechanumon @ukiyoneo @neo-teenkidz @johfaam @defluenza @philanarose @lightincendio @imsusx @jaebeomsbestie @thorndraconis

[captainkirkk]

✩ WEEKLY FIC ROUND-UP ✩

A collection of fics I’ve read (/reread) and thoroughly enjoyed in the past week-ish from all kinds of fandoms and genres.

BNHA

a glimpse of tomorrow (looking back) by achievingelysium

Subject: Aldera Time Capsule Ceremony Forwarded Message— This year marks ten years for the Aldera Middle School graduating class of 20XX.

   To celebrate, we would like to invite pro heroes Kingpin and Deku, Aldera alumni, to participate in a public time-capsule opening. We are incredibly proud to have helped them on their journeys to becoming heroes, and would be most honored to receive them as guests and for them to speak at the ceremony.  

[...]

"Well," Deku says, leaning over to turn the monitor towards him. His eyes flick over the contents of the email one more time. "If they haven't changed, then I guess we could return the favor."

For the two of them, it's an opportunity.

A look into Bakugou and Midoriya's past—through a future neither of them imagined—as pro heroes, agency partners, and friends.

(Written for NWA: Prompts for All Event.)

never knew daylight could be so violent by lanestreets

Tsunagu is just about to ask what she’s talking about, exactly, when the feathers strewn around them suddenly take flight again, rushing towards the jacket on the ground in front of them. When Tsunagu looks down to watch them convene on the crumpled garment, he is shocked to find a small child sticking his head out from underneath the collar. The boy looks as confused as Tsunagu feels.

Or the one where Hawks is de-aged, secrets come to light, and Best Jeanist may or may not be planning the downfall of the Hero Commission.

The Umbrella Academy

Ghost Math by pinstripedJackalope

Number Five needs a new hobby now that the apocalypse is off.  He decides to help Klaus--and in turn maybe he'll help himself.

ATLA

Scriven Me Softly  by SensationalSunburst                

“It’s a piece of history,” He argued and she was, as always, shocked at the rolling gravel that flowed quietly from his mouth, “We must preserve it.” And Mae, who’d spent hours scrubbing the ghost of bloodied fingerprints from her brushes and days willing the scratch of pen to paper to drown out the sound of the Fire Princess's wailing; had looked at the child clutching ruined parchment to his chest and suddenly understood like a punch to the jaw why Prince Iroh had to be physically restrained from murdering his brother in cold blood.

Or: The early days of Firelord Zuko's reign as described by Royal Stenographer Mae.

Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System

The An Ding Peak Lord's Holy Cheat Sheet by JerichoJaspersJeromeJr

There's a dozen basic things that Shang Qinghua should know but somehow doesn't. There's a hundred mysterious secrets that Shang Qinghua knows even when he shouldn't. There's a thousand profound mysteries that Shang Qinghua knows even when no mortal should.

Mobei-jun has noted it all.

so you have a bad day by tagteamme

Shang Qinghua is not stupid.

It does not take a genius to know what it means when you ask a servant where your lord has left to and they readily supply the name of an exclusive brothel in between the two realms. Especially when it's after your utterly disastrous first time together.

So he goes away for a bit to clear his head. And promptly gets kidnapped.

Untamed

The Fire Lapping Up the Creek by notevenyou  (+ podfic)        

Wei Wuxian travels to Lanling for his nephew’s one-month celebration alone, without Wen Ning.

Lan Wangji lives with the consequences.

Saw My Life in a Stranger's Face by timetoboldlygo                

Lan Wangji had long since stopped thinking of Wei Wuxian's body as Mo Xuanyu's. He grew used to all the ways it was different and the same from the last. But slowly, surely, now that they were comfortable, Wei Wuxian's face had begun to change again. The lines of his jaw became a slightly smudged drawing. Not all together unfamiliar, just enough that Lan Wangji second-guessed his own memory. There was one night Lan Wangji came home to find Wei Wuxian's eyes had changed color. He woke one morning and was taller, his silhouette stretching and growing like a shadow cast against the wall.

His smile was the same. The way he pouted, and slept in, the way he kissed. His terrible jokes. Lan Wangji would get used to a new face too if the husband was still the same.

(Or, the one where Wei Wuxian's face begins to change to look like his original body. It isn't easy on anyone. But it isn't so bad, either.)

The Mandalorian

A Source of Warmth  by CoffeeQuill                

Just this time, he thinks, as he turns and adjusts himself to lay down again. He lets the kid tuck into his side, and once again he closes his eyes.

And opens them again, because the kid has squirmed up higher and is pushing himself right beneath Dyn’s arm, almost trying to bury himself in his armpit, and he stares at the kid. “What are you—“ he starts.

Then sees the kid give a violent shiver.

 I have acquired a child.  by stingrcy                

How can I ensure its welfare without having it become attached to me? Thank you. 🗨 17 comments    ➦ Share    🠷 Save    🛇 Hide    ⚑ Report

(The r/Parenting AU some people wondered about but technically did not ask for.)

[phantaloon-books]

I was rereading the iconic reunion at baltimore and this came to me and I can't not write it (even though I have a half finished chapter waiting to be written for a fic for a whole different fandom but who cares right)

in which neil regrets realizes that the feds were on to something when they talked about witness protection program. brace yourselves, it's angst time bby. please bear with me, I don't write stuff like this, content and format wise.

so everyone knows what goes down in baltimore. everyone knows that famous college exy striker for the foxes neil josten has been the son of the butcher of baltimore all along, and that smth happened after he was kidnapped and tortured that resulted in the butcher and some associates to be killed. everyone knows that neil walked out alive, injured but alive. so when a few weeks, months later, associates of the butcher start getting raided and taken in custody, everyone knows exactly who opened his little mouth and revealed everything he knows (bc there's literally no one else who could know this stuff and would be willing to share with the fucking feds, no one has a death wish)

It's a slow process. It starts with the feeling of not being safe, which is ridiculous, because he hasn't been quite as safe as he is right now, with the foxes, his family, and most importantly with Andrew. They're on summer break, technically speaking, even if they're at campus for practice because they gotta train the new foxes. They're barely doing anything than hanging out together and training, but still Neil can't shake the feeling that something is wrong, that someone is watching him, but he doesn't say anything, because it doesn't make sense, he's just being paranoid, there's no need to panic.

Neil can swear he's being watched. He feels the dread whenever he's out of the dorm, when he's out running, when they go out to eat something, when they go to the mall, on their way to practice, at Eden's. But when he looks around there's no one looking, it's been weeks and nothing has happened, he hasn't seen anyone.

Neil can tell Andrew is growing suspicious of the way he checks out a place, the way his eyes trace every corner, every exit, because he's starting to fall back in old habits, and he knows Andrew hates it. But Andrew doesn't ask, he knows that Neil will speak when he feels ready, so he lets it go, even if he can't quite let got of the worry clawing at his heart.

But everything keeps going normally, things are fine, everything is fine fine fine. Neil doesn't talk about it, but it's fine really. Until it's not fine at all, but it's also too late to talk now because his head is fuzzy and throbbing, and he feels like he might throw up and he feels pain even if he's not sure where the pain is coming from. But he can't do anything now, he can't tell Andrew how he's been feeling dread for weeks, because a man whose name he doesn't even know but whose face is awfully familiar is standing right in front of him where he lies on the floor, and the situation is also awfully familiar.

Stop being a martyr. Oh Andrew would kill him. If Neil gets out of this alive, Andrew will kill him, because he left again. He didn't want to, he really didn't. He was out on a run while Andrew was in therapy with Bee and Aaron, a couple miles away from fox tower, when a car pulled up right in front of him, two men wearing hoods and sunglasses stepping out and standing in front of him. He came to a halt, trying his best to keep calm because who the hell were these men and what did they want and for fucks sake can this just stop? It would have been smart to turn around and try to get back to the tower but he can't ever keep his mouth shut can he?

"Look I don't know who you are, I don't care what you want, but you're in my way, so move away if you know what's best." He intended to go for more sarcastic, but he was doing his best not to panic, so that had to do.

"You're coming with us, get in the car, or we'll do this the hard way." Their voices said they wouldn't hesitate, but Neil laughed anyway, that smile he knew was the Butcher's resting on his lips. Anything to make the men leave. He opened his mouth and then- "The Minyard twins are at Dr. Dobson's office. Reynolds, Walker, and Wilds are at the mall. Hemmick, Boyd and Day are in the dorms. The newbies are at the dorms as well. Come with us the easy way and we'll let them walk out of their respective places alive, Nathaniel."

And he was fucked. Of course he hadn't been safe, he would never be safe. In fact no one he cared about would ever be safe. He should have known better. But he wasn't going to let the foxes be harmed.

"How do I know you won't kill them anyway?" The snark was gone, the smile vanished. His face was blank and dangerous, because he'd done this before. "I don't even know who you are, you're obviously not the big guys, and I don't remember seeing your faces."

"We don't want to attract unnecessary attention. All we care about is you. If you come, you spare us all the trouble. As for who we are, let's just say someone is pissed at the piece of shit that ruined everything."

"The Butcher's friends then. I can't argue with that, it's a habit of mine to fuck up. Ichirou won't be too happy if something happened." He played his strongest card but fuck it. The Moriyamas owed him protection, Ichirou himself had made a deal with him.

"The moment they turned their backs to the Wesninski and made a deal with Hatford, those Japanese shits mean nothing to us." These were desperate men apparently. If the Moriyamas were nothing, the FBI was even less. "Time is running Nathaniel, decide. You or them?"

Andrew would kill him, but they'd talked about it before. Neil had told Andrew. If it means losing you, then no. He would not put himself first. Hell, he'd told the others before, the Foxes were all he had, he wasn't going to risk them for himself, not for anything. He needed to keep them safe.

So now he's lying on the cold wooden floor of some house or shed or whatever, drowsy from whatever they drugged him with once he got in the car, and in pain after being beaten for the last hour or so. He didn't bother asking the man (who is obviously in charge and sent the two men) for a name, and honestly he still doesn't plan to. What was the point of that anyway? He just looks up at the cold brown eyes of the man standing over him, Neil's face as neutral as he could keep it despite the fear of not making it out alive threatening to pull him under. The man just stares at him, calculative eyes and cruel smile, and Neil can't take it.

"What, so you're just gonna stand there? I have better shit to do." He hears the slur in his voice, wonders if it's just the drugs or something else. A concussion is likely. He's met with silence, so he closes his eyes and lays his head down. Fuck he's tired of these situations. He truly will never be safe, no one will-

"You know, I was expecting so much more from you Nathaniel," the man says with a laugh, "I was told that you'd put up a fight, I thought this would be fun. They said you'd beg for your precious life, but you haven't even made an effort."

Whoever his source was, they definitely do not know Neil, or Nathaniel for that matter. Not only is he not going to risk the men hurting the others, but he isn't going to fight, not against so many of them, not when running would be more likely to get him out alive. He isn't going to let them know that. "First go fuck yourself, and second, this isn't remotely close to entertaining to what I've been through, maybe if it was more interesting."

What does Andrew say? Regret is worthless? It seems right, because he can't find regret in what he said, even if his face is a bloody mess (what's new?) and his body shakes with shivers, after his head is held underwater so many times. No, he doesn't regret it. Instead he finds himself laughing a hollow thing.

"Y'know at least others have had a point, this time it's just for the fun of it, and it's not being much fun." His voice cracks a couple times, hoarse from coughing up water.

"You're right though, it is for fun. You cost me absolutely everything Nathaniel. Did you know the feds and the Moriyamas have been after us for months? Hunting us like we're rabbits, all because you decided to be a dipshit and open your mouth. You should be dead. You should have died ten years ago, back in March, anytime. All your existence caused us is trouble. And ratting us to the feds wasn't enough was it? No you told Ichirou all of the Butcher's men were loose ends, too." The man took a deep breath, composing himself. "So yes Nathaniel, this is for fun. This is payback, you've cost many lives, this is retribution for speaking, and I'm gonna enjoy seeing you have fun for as long as I can."

At some point, after hours, he's left alone in the dark, in the cold. He knows he’s in pain. He’s pretty sure his arm is broken, and so are several ribs. He knows he should be in a lot of pain, but he's just numb. Regret is worthless. Because even if he feels even worse than how he felt last winter at Evermore, he doesn’t regret it. He can’t be sure the guy’s men were truly going to kill the Foxes, but he doesn’t regret coming here to make sure the others don’t suffer more than they already have because of him. He wonders if Andrew will forgive him. He didn’t leave proof that he didn’t want to leave this time. Would Andrew think he left them - him? God, he hopes not. Would Andrew look for Neil or leave it thinking that Neil wanted to leave?

It doesn’t really matter, though. Neil is so tired. This time isn’t like when he was on the run or when he went to Evermore or when Lola took him. While with the Ravens, Kevin knew he was there at least, if anything were to happen, a person would know where to look somehow. At Baltimore, several people knew the most likely place to find him; Uncle Stewart, the Hatfords, Kevin again. He has no idea of where he is, or who took him, and no one knows he’s been taken in the first place. No one will ever find him.

Maybe it’s better that way, he thinks. No one will have to deal with the burden of him or his disappearance or his death, because no one will know. The simple thing would be to assume he ran. He hopes they assume he ran. Maybe they’ll be hurt, but haven’t they been expecting him to run? They won’t make it to championships without him considering Jack is an awful striker, but Kevin will manage. Andrew - Andrew is the one who expects him to run the most, maybe he’ll take it nicely. Neil hopes he takes it nicely. Guilt blossoms among the nothingness in his chest, but he can’t take it back, and he doesn’t want to. It’s better this way. No one will find him, but that’s fine. He wonders what the Moriyamas will do. He doesn’t want to think about that. He thinks of Andrew, the kisses, the care, the love, the nights spent together. Thank you, you were amazing. He wishes he could tell him how much he cares one last time. He feels something wet slip down his face. He can’t tell if it’s water, blood or tears. He sighs. He thinks of Andrew, and his eyes slip close.

[krreader]

final opportunity.

pairing: kim taehyung x reader fandom: bts warnings: language  genre: angst ; fluff word count: 2.2k+

summary: there had been countless of opportunities for him and you, but you missed them over and over again. now, will be your final one before you and him truly had no future anymore.

a/n: I think I re-wrote this like ten times because I had too many ideas on how to begin this, but I’m really happy with how it turned out now. I hope you guys like it too!!!!

You shouldn't feel this way.

If your best friend tells you that he plans on proposing to his girlfriend, you should feel excited and over the moon for him, not like he had just stabbed your heart with a knife.

So why was that? Why did you feel that way after countless of years of friendship?

Was it that kiss that you had shared when you were teenagers because you wanted to 'practice' for future partners? Was it that first night that you had spent together because neither of you 'trusted anyone else with it'? Or maybe it was that drunk confession that he had made five years ago as you were dating someone else, that confession that you had shrugged off as drunk behavior and he had never brought up again, only shortly after finding his own partner, whereas you broke off your relationship only two months later.

Which of these moments had made you think that maybe, one day, you would be more than his best friend?

“(Y/N)? Did you... hear what I said?” Taehyung's hand on your shoulder made you snap out of it, looking up into his eyes.

“Yes,” you nodded, taking a deep breath, then you gently pushed off his hand, but you still forced yourself to smile, “That's great news, Tae.”

“Are.. you sure? You don't seem to be so happy.”

And you hated yourself for that. A true friend would not think so selfishly, but yet here you were..

“I'm happy,” you lied, “I'm so happy for you,” and so that he wouldn't see straight through the lie, you simply pulled him into an embrace and hid the tears that welled up in your eyes.

You could feel him tighten his arms around you, letting out a sigh.

“It's a big step,” he whispered, “I hope it's the right one.”

It sounded like he was unsure about it himself, but despite your wants, you didn't want to say anything that day. If this was the path that he wanted to choose, then who were you to deny him his happiness? You'd rather get your heart broken than break his by ruining what you had now.

Normally, if your best friend told you that he'd get married, that'd be the only topic to be discussed that night. But both of you seemed to silently agree that you weren't ready to fully talk about it yet. That should have been another red flag for you, that Taehyung wasn't doing this for the right reasons, but you didn't have it in you to talk about it, not now.

And so you talked about everything and anything, but not about his upcoming proposal.

And even after he left, the days that followed after that night, you two barely exchanged ten messages in total.

You, because you couldn't. Every time you so much as thought about him, you ended up sobbing about a future that could have been if you have had the guts to tell him about your feelings. But now you were too late and he had found someone else.

Him, because he didn't know what to say. That he had doubts? That he wished things had gone differently with you? No. He couldn't do that, he wasn't the type of man to do that while he was still with someone else, he had too much respect for his partner.

And so weeks went by and eventually, you stopped talking completely.

Your feelings had ultimately destroyed your friendship after all, without you even confessing to him.

At that point, you were actually sure that he had already gone through with it and the more you thought about it, the more miserable you became.

That is until you got a phone call.

“(Y/N)?”

“Huh?” the voice of Taehyung's mother made you sit up in bed, “Are you okay? Is Taehyung okay?!”

She let out a snort, “You young kids really are going to be the death of me. I never understood why he just couldn't tell you what he felt when he was a teenager.”

She had always been very involved with the two of you, the typical 'You two would make a good couple' or 'I know you'll get married eventually' things that mothers liked to say. But as far as you knew, she actually really liked Taehyung's new girlfriend.

“We're not teenagers anymore, though.”

“I doubt that very much, sometimes,” she lowered her voice at the thing she was about to say next, “Listen to me. You don't have a lot of time, so I'm going to make this quick. Two days ago, Taehyung came by and told us about his plan for the proposal. We... gave him our blessing, but he talked to me in private afterwards. He told me about his doubts. That he is afraid that he's making a mistake.”

“He's not making a mistake, he found a woman that he loves.”

“Yes, but not a woman that he is IN love with. That role belongs to someone else and has for years and you know it, (Y/N),” she let out a heavy sigh, “Both of you have always come up with excuses, that you were simply friends with a strong bond, but you and I know that there is much more to it than that. I told him that if he had doubts, he shouldn't do it, that he should be honest with himself and be with the woman that he truly wants to be with.”

You pushed the blankets aside, beginning to nimble on your lower lip as you walked over to the window, “What... did he say?”

“He said that there is no use. That when he confessed to you years ago, you didn't seem to feel the same way.”

“He remembers that? He was so drunk.”

“He wasn't. He pretended like he was, because he felt like you had rejected him and to save your friendship, he had to come up with an excuse.”

And because you were a little tipsy yourself, you didn't even realize that he was lying all along.

Fuck.

“Oh god,” you crouched down, the earth around you suddenly spinning and turning.

“I love my son more than I can say, (Y/N), and I want him to be happy for the rest of his life. And I know that if he's about to go through with that proposal, he won't be.”

“But what am I supposed to do now? It's too late!”

“I'll text you the address. He plans on proposing there in two hours. If you hurry, you can still make it in time and tell him what you feel for him... you can still show him that you want him too.”

And the moment her text came in, you grabbed your keys and wallet and started running.

It was too far away to take public transportation and you most certainly couldn't go there on foot, so you jumped into the nearest taxi and begged the driver to go as fast as he could.

So many things were running through your mind that it was hard to pinpoint an exact emotion you were feeling in that moment.

You just hoped that his mother hadn't read too much into it and that he really felt the same for you that you felt for him.

At the same time, guilt was eating you up alive that you were about to ruin the chance for his girlfriend to marry him, but... if he didn't love her, truly love her... then she didn't deserve that anyways.

It took nearly an hour until you finally made it to the hotel, sprinting into the lobby and checking your phone once again, rereading the message that his mother had sent you.

“He plans to do it on the rooftop.”

And so instead of taking the elevator, you sprinted up the flights of stairs, the adrenaline that was pumping through your veins being the sole reason you even made it up there, completely out of breath when you finally made it to the top and pushed the doors open.

And there he was, turning around in surprise, as countless of rose petals were surrounding him, as well as multiple lit candles, the approaching sunset in the back making this truly the most romantic proposal anyone could wish for.

And once again, you hesitated.

“(Y/N)? What are you doing here?!” his eyes were wide.

“I...-” you had practiced what you had wanted to say in the car, but now that you were looking at him, none of those words seemed to be the right ones.

He waited for a few moments, his chest heaving heavily like he was anxious about what would come out of your mouth, but when you didn't respond, he finally let out a sigh and shook his head, “You should leave. She's about to be here any moment now.”

“No, wait,” you took a deep breath, then you took a few steps forward until you were right in front of him, “I should have said what I'm about to say years ago and I am so fucking sorry that I'm only doing this now, Tae.”

And as if he knew, he immediately shook his head, “Don't... please don't.”

“I love you, Kim Taehyung,” but you said it with a smile, despite the tear that rolled out of your eye, because it felt so good to finally be honest with yourself, “I have ever since I was 16, but I never thought that you could ever feel the same way for me, despite the kiss, despite... everything else. When you told me you loved me that night and I laughed it off, I thought you were drunk, because you knew that I was dating someone, so why would you do that? Why would you tell me that you loved me, when you knew that I was with someone else?” you let out a snort, “Yet here I am... doing the exact same thing. How the tables have turned...”

His eyes were so sad when he looked at you that it almost broke your spirit right there, “Why are you doing this?”

“Because I'm hoping that you might still feel the same way for me. Because if you do, then... then I don't want you to do this. It wouldn't be right.”

And the longer it took him to reply, the more your shoulders slumped.

Eventually, he closed his eyes, his head falling forward as he rubbed his temples with his fingers.

“I think you should go.”

And see, that wasn't what you had expected, but should have. Just because you asked him to, didn't mean that he would drop everything for you. You had took too much time and now it was too late.

You were about to lose him and could do nothing but watch.

The love of your life, slipping through your fingers like sand.

“But..-”

“Please, (Y/N). Go,” he looked back up into your eyes, “Please go.”

Your mouth opened and closed again and again, tears now streaming out of your eyes as the realization hit you that you were too late.

There was nothing left to do.

You had tried.. but he had made his decision, rightfully so, and now you had to accept that.

You had no other choice but to do.

And so you turned around and reached for the handle of the door. The last thing you said to him, that you thought would be the last thing you'd ever say to him was: “I hope you find happiness, Taehyung. Truly,” and then you left.

You wandered around the city for hours on end, not quite ready yet to drive back.

Eventually you found a quiet spot at a beach and sat down at a lonely bench, your eyes falling on the hotel that your best friend, the love of your life, was currently proposing to his girlfriend.

You didn't remember how long you sat there and stared at the building, you didn't remember how many tears landed on your pants and stained them and you didn't remember your way back home from how hard it was to see through all the pain.

Life had to go on, but for the first day and the following, it didn't.

It was as if it just... stopped.

His last words still ringing in your ears, his expression branded into your mind and every time you closed your eyes, you saw him looking at you like that.

But you didn’t want to remember him, or your time spent together, with this image as the main picture. You wanted to remember the cheerful boy that had brought you so much happiness in the last years... not the heartbreak.

You fell into a huge hole that nobody was able to pull you out of but yourself. 

And one other person.

When the doorbell rang, you thought it was the delivery guy that you had ordered from twenty minutes ago, but when you opened the door, you were surprised and shocked to see the one that you were sure you'd never see again.

Your eyes widened, “What... are you doing here?”

He looked as anxious as he had the night when you had surprised him. But with one deep breath, he took all the courage he had to say the things he needed to say to you.

“I broke it off. That night... at the rooftop... after you left, I cleaned everything up and I... broke up with her,” Taehyung gulped down hard, “When you told me you loved me, I was happy, you know? And I felt so guilty for feeling that way, when I was about to ask someone else to marry me. I asked you to leave, because of that guilt, because I thought that if you just left, it would be easier. But then I started to think about the future and no matter how hard I tried, there was only one woman in my future and it... just wasn't her. It has never been her.”

You had started crying halfway through, “Why now? Why not sooner?”

“I took some time to think, to really be sure. And I am, (Y/N). I am so sure,” he shed a few tears himself when he cupped your face, “It's you... and it always has been.”

And then all you two could do was hold each other while crying into the embrace of the other.

[veliseraptor]

Hey just wondering, do you have any draft or work in process or any plan for your next Loki fic? If so can you give us a little sneak peek. Or if you don’t, do you think you’ll write more about him in the future? I know you probably get this a lot and I’m sorry if it’s annoying or if it sounds rude or anything. I’m just wondering and also I’ve been binge reading your stories about him and got addicted so there’s that. But seriously I’m sorry if my message comes off as rude or annoying, that’s not my intention. Anyway hope you’re having an amazing day

I genuinely hate to sound like a broken record, anon, since you are being very polite about this! Which I very much appreciate! But the answer remains more or less the same: I don’t know. I have (counts) 38 different Loki-related WIPs in various stages of completion sitting on my hard drive. I haven’t been working on them actively lately because, to the dismay I’m sure of many of my followers, another fandom has devoured me whole. I’m really enjoying the experience, but it has left me with relatively little brainspace for things that aren’t that thing (or, I guess, other danmei novels and adaptations thereof?? idk okay). 

At some point I would like to finish at least some of those stories, because I do not like leaving things unfinished. But I just don’t know when - or if! - I will. It just depends on if I get that emotional investment back. At the moment it doesn’t seem like that’s going to happen imminently, but who knows. And maybe I’ll go back and reread what I have written of some of these, go “where’s the rest, op” and feel encouraged to write more.

All that being said - since you were so nice about this, I will give you a (3000 word) excerpt from one of the WIPs - Dead Superheroes Walking, which is the one about the characters who died/were dusted in Infinity War on a road trip through the Soul Stone.

---

“Anyone for a game of twenty questions?” Sam asked, after they’d been walking for maybe ten minutes.

“Really?” Bucky said. “Twenty questions?”

“I don’t think ‘I Spy’ would work too well. Not a lot of interesting landmarks. Or hadn’t you noticed that the landscape keeps repeating?”

“I am Groot,” said Groot.

“And I have no idea what that means,” Sam said.

Sam was right, Wanda realized. The landscape was repeating. It wasn’t obvious, at first, but there was only one tree, over and over; only one rock placed near to it. The sky was a flat and even orange.

A faint shiver ran down Wanda’s spine. Bucky stopped, though, visibly disconcerted.

“What the hell is this place,” he said.

“Does it matter?” Sam asked. “We’re not exactly going anywhere else. All right, I’ve got it. Twenty questions, yes or no answers only.”

“I am Groot?” said Groot. Sam eyed him.

“I’m not going to take that off the count,” he said.

“Is it alive?” T’Challa asked.

“Yep,” Sam said.

“Guess that rules us out,” Bucky said. Sam snorted, and T’Challa cracked a small smile. Wanda stared down at a small, triangular rock in front of her feet.

“All right,” Bucky said. “Is it an animal?”

“Yes. Two questions down. Wanda?”

She bent down and picked up the rock. It left red dust on her fingers, and when she pressed her fingers together it crumbled like chalk. She half expected the dust to vanish, but the red stain on her fingertips stayed.

“Wanda?” Sam said, more gently.

“Sorry,” she said. “Is it a person?”

“Nope,” Sam said. “That’s three.”

She wiped her hand off on her clothes. This place wasn’t right - she could feel it in her bones, deep down where her magic ought to be. But nothing had been right in the last few days. Very few things in Wanda’s life had been right. Why should her death be any different?

It only seemed unfair that the others should be here, too.

They sky did not change, but they stopped walking eventually - less because any of them were actually tired than because it seemed like they should. Or maybe because they were tired of walking and wanted some change, even if there was very little change to be had. The road went on. The landscape didn’t alter.

And no one else appeared.

“It can’t just be us,” Sam said. “Other people died. Where are they?”

Nobody had an answer for him, unless the tree’s “I am Groot” was an answer none of them could understand. Wanda thought it might be something to do with the fact that they’d all died when Thanos had snapped his fingers, but she stayed quiet, staring off at the horizon and only half listening to Bucky and Sam going back and forth at each other.

“I see something,” T’Challa said abruptly. They all turned and followed the line of his arm.

“I can’t see anything,” Sam said.

“Give it a sec,” Bucky said. “He’s probably got a hundred extra yards visibility on me. Maybe 150 on you–”

“I am Groot,” Groot said. Wanda strained her eyes, some part of her wishing - hoping–

“Is that a dog?” Sam said.

A moment later Wanda saw it too, and slumped. It did look like a dog padding towards them - or at least, it certainly wasn’t a person.

“That’s not a dog,” T’Challa said.

“Fox, I think,” Bucky said. “What the fuck is a fox doing here?”

“I don’t think it’s a fox, either,” T’Challa said. He shifted, like he was thinking about getting into a fighting stance. Wanda stepped forward, reaching for her powers, but nothing was there.

What would be the point, anyway? You can only die once.

The fox - and it was a fox, Wanda could see that now, though black instead of red - slowed as it began to draw closer. It sat down, still a ways away, and cocked its head, looking at them.

“This is weird,” Sam said. T’Challa was still frowning.

“What is it?” Bucky asked him. T’Challa shook his head.

“I’m not certain.”

The fox stood, stretched, and changed, unfolding into a person. Wanda sucked in a breath, staring at the man now walking toward them: dark-haired, pale, lean and taller than Bucky or T’Challa. A vague sense of familiarity nagged at her, but she couldn’t say from where.

The man stopped, still several paces from them, and cocked his head just as the fox had. “Well,” he said, a faint rasp in his voice. “This is new.”

Wanda stared at him, trying to remember where she recognized him from. “New?”

“Yes,” he said. “I wasn’t expecting anyone else. But then, this time is different.”

“Wait,” Sam said abruptly. “Shit. Are you-”

“Mm,” he said, still looking at Wanda. T’Challa’s eyes were narrowed, too, and Sam’s. Bucky looked blankly at them both.

“What?”

“It’s always nice to be recognized,” the stranger said dryly.

“Loki,” Sam said. “That’s fucking Loki. Right?” Wanda’s eyes widened, but he - Loki - just shrugged one shoulder.

“So I am. Or was. I’m not certain of the appropriate tense.” His gaze swept across them, indifferent, disinterested.

“You’re dead, too,” Wanda said. Loki glanced at her, eyes focusing briefly before they slid back into dullness. No, exhaustion.

“Or something,” he said.

“‘Or something?’” Sam said. Loki’s eyes flicked in his direction.

“This doesn’t feel like death,” he said, “but I remember the feeling of my neck breaking in Thanos’s hand fairly clearly, so…” Wanda flinched, and she thought she saw Sam’s eye twitch. She remembered Thor coming roaring down from the sky, thunder and lightning in his voice, and understood. She looked down.

“What do you mean that this doesn’t feel like death,” T’Challa said into the silence.

“I know a little of what death tastes like,” Loki said after a moment. “This isn’t it.”

“What does that mean,” Bucky said, looking agitated and uncertain.

“I am Groot,” said Groot, and Loki glanced at him, something briefly flashing across his expression before it was gone. Pain, Wanda thought.

“Not entirely accurate,” he said, “but not entirely inaccurate, either.” There was a brief pause.

“You can understand him?” Bucky said. Loki shrugged again. “What did he say?”

“It’s irrelevant.” Loki’s eyes moved back to Wanda. “I suppose it’s too much to hope that you were simply the high cost of victory?” Wanda looked down, somehow feeling ashamed of her failure. Loki let out a quiet huff. “Pity.”

Bucky, oddly, snorted.

“Thanos gained all of the Infinity Stones,” T’Challa said. “Then…” He trailed off. “I am not entirely certain what happened then.”

Loki made a sort of hm noise, glancing at T’Challa sidelong. “So you didn’t die in battle,” he said.

“If so, I do not remember it,” T’Challa said.

“I am Groot,” Groot said to Loki, whose head swiveled violently toward him, eyes sharpening.

“Gamora,” he said, and there was a wealth of hatred and fear in that word. “You are a companion of hers?”

“I am Groot,” Groot said emphatically, and Loki blinked, then pressed his lips together and exhaled in a short burst.

“I suppose it doesn’t matter now.”

“Can you maybe translate what he’s saying,” Bucky said irritably. “Since all the rest of us can hear is the same three words over and over.”

“He says that Gamora claimed Thanos meant to use the completed Gauntlet to halve all life in the universe,” Loki said. “If you know that he achieved his goal, then presumably you were part of the unlucky half. Though that does not explain why you are here. Or else does not explain why I am.”

“And who’s Gamora,” Sam said, with such exaggerated patience that it demonstrated anything but.

“An old acquaintance,” Loki said. He sounded distracted.

“I am Groot,” Groot said, and this time Wanda could hear the near pride in his voice. Loki didn’t respond. He was scanning their number again, Wanda realized, more closely.

She bit her lip, then raised her voice and said, “Thor’s alive.” His gaze snapped to her, and she made herself hold it though her instinct was to look down. “At least, he was when I...he drove an axe into Thanos’s chest. It didn’t work, it was too late, but…” She trailed off.

Loki glanced down, his eyes half closing, and Wanda thought she caught a brief flicker at the corner of his mouth, not quite a smile, and a barely audible, “ah, Thor.” Then his eyes were back on hers and he said simply, “thank you for informing me,” with a lack of feeling that made Wanda frown.

“You haven’t asked who any of us are,” Bucky said.

“So I have not,” Loki said. “I am not certain it is precisely relevant.”

“Excuse you,” Sam said. Loki glanced at him, that tired indifference returning.

“I approached because I was curious. I wasn’t intending to stay, nor would I think you were inclined to encourage it.”

T’Challa was studying Loki with curious intensity. “Were you going somewhere?”

“No,” Loki said, and then paused and adjusted, “perhaps.”

“I am Groot?” Groot said, and Loki’s lips pressed briefly together.

“It means perhaps. And don’t be crude.”

“I’m with him,” Sam said. “What does perhaps mean?” Loki looked briefly annoyed, and Sam said, “come on. We’re all dead here. Or - not. Which still begs the question as far as I’m concerned of what we are.”

Loki’s eyes went back to her, and Wanda shifted. “What?” She asked. “Why do you keep looking at me?”

“You haven’t noticed anything strange, then?” He asked. “Felt anything?”

Too many things, Wanda thought, but she didn’t think that was what he meant, and now they were all looking at her. Wanda hesitated.

“I don’t have my powers,” she said slowly. Loki made a derisive noise.

“Of course you don’t,” he said. “Do you need them to sense what’s around you? Midgardian magicians. Norns.”

Wanda glared at him, but took a breath and tried to turn inward, like she was going to use her power. It still wasn’t there, but this time, without distractions…

She jerked and saw a satisfied glint in Loki’s eyes, just for an instant. “There,” he said.

“Wanda, what is it?” Sam asked, looking suspiciously at Loki.

“I don’t know,” she said. “But it feels like…” She searched for the right words. “Like a heartbeat,” she said finally, even if that wasn’t quite right.

Bucky’s expression was a mixture of horror and alarm. “A heartbeat?”

“So that’s what it feels like to you,” Loki said thoughtfully. He seemed more engaged now than he had been at first, and somehow even though it shouldn’t matter that felt like a good thing. Maybe because nothing else was.

“It’s not actually,” Wanda said quickly. “That’s just sort of what it feels like - to me, anyway. It’s...different for you?”

Loki shrugged. T’Challa shifted.

“I know what she means,” he said. “Though I wouldn’t have described it like that. But there is...something.”

“Interesting,” Loki said, glancing at T’Challa and looking him over with slightly more interest. “To answer your implied question, I would call it a...resonance.”

“A resonance with what,” Sam asked.

“If I knew that, I wouldn’t be bothering to talk to you,” Loki said. “But partly it is that which makes me think this is something other than simple death.”

“What is there other than ‘simple death,’” Bucky said tightly.

“That is the question, isn’t it,” Loki said. “Maybe nothing. Maybe I am wrong. But if I am not…”

“If you’re not, what,” Bucky said, even tighter.

“Then it begs the question of why, doesn’t it?” Loki rolled his neck in a slow circle, and Wanda could have sworn she heard something crack. “At least, such was my thought. But maybe it is just desperation.”

He didn’t sound desperate. He didn’t sound much of anything.

“Why not stay with us,” Wanda said abruptly. Everyone else turned to stare at her, Loki included, and she straightened, turning toward her friends. “I mean it,” she said. “Why not? We’re all here together. And if he’s right and there’s a why, a reason...wouldn’t it suggest that’s true for all of us, including him?” She paused, and added, “and besides - what can he do to us, anyway?”

Loki barked a laugh. “That is a fair point,” he murmured.

“How do we know this isn’t some kind of trick?” T’Challa asked, his eyes narrowed.

“You don’t,” Loki said. “But I will say that you vastly overestimate my interest in you. Well, the majority of you. And your witch has a point: what is it you think I will do?”

“I don’t know,” T’Challa said. “That’s what worries me.”

“And ‘our witch’ has a name,” Sam said a little sourly.

Loki shrugged. “As you will. It makes little difference to me.” He moved around them and started to walk away.

“I am Groot,” Groot muttered, and strode after him, long tree-legs catching up in a few strides. “I am Groot?” He said to Loki, who checked himself and looked at him, his face tightening.

“Was, yes,” he said. “Why?”

“I am Groot,” Groot said definitively, and Loki shook his head.

“Call back your child,” he said, with a sharp gesture at Groot.

“Child?” Sam said, eyebrows shooting up.

“He’s an adolescent Flora Colossus,” Loki said, as though it were obvious. “And he is not following me. I don’t care who you were friends with.”

Thor, Wanda thought. Groot didn’t know any of them, but he’d known Thor, at least a little, and Loki was Thor’s brother, and Groot was, apparently, a teenager, among strangers who couldn’t understand him, who had just died.

Wanda’s chest ached. “If he wants to,” she said, “I don’t see why he shouldn’t.”

“I’m not interested in playing nursemaid–”

“I am Groot,” Groot said, and Loki gave him a hard look.

“No, you are not,” he said. “I’ve met grown Flora Colossi and you aren’t it. You’re barely more than a sapling. Maybe - what, four years old?”

“You know what,” Bucky said, “I’m with Wanda, actually. And the, uh...Groot. This place is weird. I think we should stick together, and it seems like he knows more about this place than any of the rest of us do.” His eyes settled on Loki. “And it’s not like we have a whole lot to lose, right now.”

Sam gave Bucky a long, skeptical look and then glanced at T’Challa, who shrugged.

“You assume I am interested in putting up with the lot of you,” Loki said flatly. He looked tense, Wanda thought. Like he was expecting some kind of trap. Wanda tried to summon a smile.

“You said you came over because you were curious,” she said. “And if you’re right, and there is some reason we’re all here...isn’t that something else to be curious about?”

“I am Groot,” said Groot, and Loki glanced at him, jaw twitching.

“I’m dead, you twig,” he said. “If not now, then probably soon. And if I did need protecting, you wouldn’t be much help.”

Bucky snorted, poorly muffled. Wanda bit her lip so she didn’t smile. Groot’s expression was hard for her to read, but it looked to her eyes like a glare.

Loki exhaled loudly and looked away. “Fine,” he said. “If you are inclined...I suppose there’s no harm in traveling adjacently.”

“Traveling where?” Sam asked. “You make it sound like you have an actual destination.”

“I have a...feeling,” Loki said, though something about the brief pause before he spoke made Wanda think there was something he wasn’t saying. The question was if it was important or not. “No more than that.”

“Well,” T’Challa said after a few moments of hesitation, “that is more than I have, at the moment. And so far as I know we weren’t going anywhere in particular, so…”

“I guess that settles it,” Wanda said. Loki eyed her like he suspected her of having some ulterior motive. She decided to pretend not to notice. “So which way are we going?”

[bedlamsbard]

Writing tag game -- tagged by @lessattitudemorealtitude

how many works do you have on Ao3?

Discounting podfic on which I’m listed as a co-author, 24.  My concept writing doesn’t go to AO3 and the vast majority of my Narnia fic was never cross-posted there.  (Or reposted there, actually, I think most of it pre-dates the AO3.)

what’s your total Ao3 word count?

1,050,810.  oh, huh, I didn’t actually realize I’d passed the one million word mark (probably with Crown).

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

all of these ended up being Star Wars, which is not a huge surprise.  Morning will probably reach Dirt in the next couple of updates, I’d guess.

Immutable, or, Five Times Obi-Wan Kenobi Compromised His Jedi Ethics for Anakin Skywalker -- this is not the oldest Star Wars fic on there, but I think it’s the second oldest. people just really like 5 times fic.

Wake the Storm - did you know that when I started Wake I assumed it was a very niche trope in what was, at the time, a pretty dead fandom? the kudos count on Wake actually outnumbers Gambit by more than 1600 kudos, so the number of people who go from Wake to Gambit is a lot lower than you might think.

Queen's Gambit - a significantly lower kudos count than Wake or Immutable.  Gambit’s such a weirdo of a story, tbh, I can’t be surprised by anything about Gambit anymore.

On the Edge of the Devil's Backbone - about 600 kudos less than Gambit, so less difference between Gambit and Backbone than between Wake and Gambit.

Dirt in the Machine - another older fic.  I’d rewrite this one if I cared enough to do so, because it’s not at my current standards (Immutable isn’t either, for that matter) and I kind of wince every time I get comments on it.  this is the first one of the top five to have below 1K kudos.

do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I’ll usually respond to direct questions, but I very, very seldom respond to comments in general.  This is an old standing policy of mine that’s now more than a decade old -- it used to be I’d wait twenty-four hours before responding, then I’d respond right before the next chapter went up, and for a while I’d only respond to comments on the first few chapters of a story.  Now I just mostly do not.  The reasons for this are: (1) many, many years ago, I lost my temper pretty badly at a comment on a fic of mine (this was pre-AO3, this was back in my LJ days), and after that I moved to the “wait twenty-four hours” response so I didn’t say anything without thinking about it, (2) I do go back and reread comments but I hate rereading my own responses, (3) I prefer to know the comments numbers on my fic are all from actual comments and not from me saying “thanks for reading!”, (4) I can’t take that kind of responsibility for answering every single comment, man.

what’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Of stuff I’ve written in the past ten years? (I can’t really remember before that.)  Maybe Backbone, because it ends on that pretty upbeat “yay team we’re going to be rebels now!” note.  or Devil’s in the Details (other side part 1), though I don’t really want to consider it a finished fic even though it’s technically finished; it has another “yay team we’re back together (minus Ezra)” ending.  I tend to end on complicated and reasonably open endings, not like...happy endings.

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

probably Gambit for the “everything is super fucked up” factor and also the fact that I never wrote the sequel. plus it ended with the entire Wake trio split up in a whole new universe, plus back in the Gambitverse Amidala not able to go back to Naboo, Ahsoka shunned, Palpatine’s new empire, Rex trapped in the Gambitverse, etc.

do you write crossovers?

I did in my Narnia days. I don’t anymore. Working in widespread fandoms like Star Wars or the MCU is basically like writing crossover fic within the same universe, anyway.

have you ever received hate on a fic?

*hysterical laughter*

...yes. yes I have. it’s the reason every time I get a comment notification on Gambit or Wake I freeze in absolute terror. people HATE Wake and Gambit.  I hate to say never, but I will probably never write those characters or in that series again.

do you write smut? if so, what kind?

not really?  I’ve done relatively non-explicit sex but it’s not something I’m super comfortable writing, especially in recent years. I’m much more likely to do a fade to black.

have you ever had a fic stolen?

I think Gambit got scraped once when it was still in progress and my response was something along the lines of “good luck, bro,” given the whole “still in progress” thing.

have you ever had a fic translated?

I’ve gotten a couple of translation requests but I can’t recall if anything’s ever been translated.  (Or if I responded to them...I know a few I forgot to respond.)

have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, back in my Narnia days.  Some SW concept writing and that ended so badly that I’ll never co-write again.

what’s your all-time favourite ship?

Kanan/Hera, of course!

what’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

gods, Dust in the Air, my Narnia Last Battle AU.  Back when I started it in 2008 or so I didn’t have the self-control or discipline I do now, even if I had a lot of the worldbuilding ability and the ability to conceive of if not execute long plot arcs, and I broke off more than I could chew.  If I ever went back to it I’d probably have to do a complete rewrite and it has the unique problem among my WIPs of being the last major fic I wrote in present tense -- I now write exclusively in past tense.  The bones of the story are good, I’d just have to go back to the bones and not just pick up where I left off.

what are your writing strengths?

Plot, worldbuilding/environment, action.  I also do genuinely think I’m very good at characterization too, but I think they’re all inter-related.  (Except the action, that’s me alone.  I love writing action and I generally get a lot of compliments on my action scenes.)  look, I know it’s conceited, but I’m good and I know I’m good, and I’m good in a pretty well-rounded way for the genre I write.

what are your writing weaknesses?

brevity. can’t do it.

honestly, there are others, but I don’t write stories where they’d come up.  I think I have a tendency to get to bogged down in dialogue in a way that I’ve never quite solved.  I also let my emotions take over too much and not in the good fannish way, in the “I’m having a fucked up relationship with canon or fandom and it’s affecting my ability to work” way.

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

please stop having your Asgardians speak Latin for magic, man, that’s my feeling on it.

okay, my feelings on it for me -- I’ve sprinkled bits and pieces of Huttese, Twi’leki, and tee-tiny bits of other stuff here and there in fic.  I’d not be comfortable doing more than that because the only other language that I really feel comfortable doing anything significant in is Latin, and even then I’d hesitate. also, like, Latin! not a language that comes up in the fandoms I write in.  even then, like -- any extended dialogue should be intelligible to the audience, and I don’t expect my audience to be able read anything other than English; I’d rather just say “they switched to Twi’leki to say” or something similar.

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

like, online? Harry Potter. for things that I didn’t post online because I didn’t know what fic was yet? probably either The 10th Kingdom or The Mummy.

what’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

On the Edge of the Devil’s Backbone.  I think it’s the best thing I’ve ever written, I think it’s the most tightly plotted, I think it’s got the best worldbuilding, I think it’s remarkably consistent thematically, and it was, at the time, a fic that I was very devoted to finishing or dying trying, because I was going through it at the time and some of it was connected to the fic.

I don’t tag people, but please go for if you want!

[the-kaedageist]

I was tagged by the lovely @mllekurtz for this - thank you for thinking of me! I’m always happy to navel gaze about my writing, haha.

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 46 works total!

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

~373k (woah)

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

I have a TON of fandoms listed since I participated in Yuletide a lot about ten years ago and I wrote a lot of one-shots for fandoms here and there in the 00s a lot and moved them all over from LJ to AO3 in the early 10s. I have 19 fandoms listed on AO3.

The top ones I’ve written in recently are: the Flash, Critical Role (obviously), a little bit of The Magnus Archives (although I have a wip that’s 23k words long that I should really finish), and exactly one Scum Villain fic - I really should write more of that.

4) What are your top five fics by kudos?

- Suspicious Behavior (Naruto, SasuNaru, 3,301 words)

I wrote this in 2006 when I was 20 and somehow it is still popular today? I still get comments on it? Sometimes people bookmark it with comments like “THIS IS FROM 2006 WTF???” and I laugh. It sure is! I haven’t read it in years but something about it must still appeal, go figure.

- Rules of Endearment (Inception, Arthur/Eames, 1,739 words)

I wrote this as a fill on the Inception kink meme in like, 2010. I barely remember it but it still does the rounds on AO3 sometimes too. Honestly, I don’t even think I’ve reread this in about five years. My other Inception fic is better but it totally does not have the kudos of this one; that’s the capriciousness of AO3! (On LJ, my other one, with dreamscape field trips, was more popular. What a weird world.)

- all you want all you need (I could be your everything) (Scum Villain, moshang, 2,404 words)

This is one that’s more recent! Hurrah! I wrote this in May. I definitely need to write more in this fandom.

- fist-fighting with fire just to get close to you (Critical Role, shadowgast, 3,079 words)

I posted this right at the height of shadowgast madness at the end of C2 and have the kudos to prove it. This fic took me over and wouldn’t release me until I’d written all 3,000 words of it in one sitting.

- So Magic About You (Critical Role, shadowgast, 1,699)

Wow, all of my top fics are short. I need to write more long fics in bigger fandoms. This was also written during the peak of shadowgast furor.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I absolutely try to! Every once in awhile I won’t on a really old fic or I’ll miss one, or I’ll take 7 months to respond to someone if I’m in a hiatus or whatever, but my intention is always to reply to my readers. I’m sure if I ever ended up deluged with comments like some of the cnovel fandoms end up being, I might stop this practice, but for now it’s manageable and I love each and every one of them.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Honestly...considering I don’t remember a lot of my fics from before 2010 very well at all...none of them? I don’t really do angst.

OH ACTUALLY!!! The angstiest fic I ever wrote isn’t even on AO3 - I THINK it may still be on my old fic LJ? I wrote the very first Mohinder/Sylar fic (that I know of) for Heroes back in 2006/2007, immediately after the episode aired that had them together for the first time, and I made it a serial killing roadtrip where Mohinder was clueless but eventually figured it out? Except I decided NOT to have them fall in love because I was like, “that’s weird, they have crazy chemistry but I’ll keep it gen” and then they went on to be the biggest pairing for that show, lol. Anyway I THINK that ended angstily? I was 20.

My kingdom hearts fics are all kind of angsty too, I wrote them during a period where a friend of mine had just died when I was 19 and I basically used them to process my existential grief, but they all end on a hopeful note so I don’t think they count.

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK! My very first fanfic, back in 1999, was a Sailor Moon/Star Wars crossover that actually got a large enough following that people emailed me some fanart, another person wrote a spinoff, etc. I was 13? It was a wild time. I met two of my best friends through that fic, and back then, everyone had to send EMAILS to each other to give feedback.

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I actually discovered a really scathing review of one of my Flash fics back in March which was what kick-started my determination to have a better relationship with my own writing - if something like someone badmouthing my fic where they didn’t think I would see it made me feel so awful, then I needed to learn to love my own writing enough that nobody would make me feel that way. It’s been really paradigm-changing, in a really good way, although I would not have guessed it would have been so!

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I write smut but as part of longer fics, rarely as stand-alones (although I have been writing hornier one-shots lately so who knows, maybe I’ll eventually go all in). I do have a couple E-rated fics though.

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I did find one of my fics on one of those sites that tries to sell fanfic that’s harvested by bots, like 5-10 years ago? I think I sent a lot of emails to have it taken down. It was awhile ago.

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t believe I have, or if I have, I’ve forgotten. We’re talking about nearly 20 years of my life here so my memory is a bit foggy.

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven’t formally co-written a fic before, but I’ve tossed the idea around with people in the past.

13) What’s your all time favourite ship?

There is no such thing, I go in waves of hyperfocus. I have so many ships I love and for so many different reasons.

14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Either my TMA fic (the 23k one) or my shadowgast time loop fic. I may actually end up finishing both of them though, I’m writing so much lately!

15) What are your writing strengths?

I think I’m a very strong writer when it comes to wacky hijinks. This has always been my writing strength, and while it gets a bit more sophisticated as I get older, you can see just from some of my Critical Role fics that it’s still the genre I default to. (Fist-fighting with fire and my fjorjester/blumenduo fics probably showcase this the best. You’d THINK it would be Tusk Love, but that actually ended up somewhat serious despite the wacky premise).

I also think a lot of my fics (although not all, mostly the long fics) tend to have scenes composed in an almost cinematic way in them because I see a lot of them as movies/TV in my head. I’ve been complimented on this before and it was one of my favorite comments to ever receive.

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

I have a pretty utilitarian approach to word choice and language that sometimes makes my writing plain and simplistic; this also uses me to overuse the same few words a lot. A lot of times I am writing to shove a scene that I’m seeing in living color in my head out on the page; the words are secondary. I do tend to go through on my edits and fix a lot of the word choices, change phrasings, and get rid of the plainness of the language, but it’s definitely a weakness of mine.

I also write by the seat of my pants with regards to plot, which means the story forms as I write. Even if I write an outline, if I outline any more than 1-2 scenes ahead of where I currently am, the story always changes. This is maybe not necessarily a weakness, but it is one of the main reasons that I post my fics only once I’ve fully completed them - it allows me to go back and make sure the plot twists are adequately hinted at, the story is paced well, etc.

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I usually don’t do it other than the occasional one-off. If characters are speaking in another language, I usually just write their dialogue in English and then include “they said in Zemnian” or whatever. I will occasionally have Caleb swear or use a pet name or whatever in Zemnian but that’s the extent of it. I don’t mind it in other fics, but I don’t want to butcher languages I don’t speak so I avoid it as much as possible!

18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

As I mentioned above, Sailor Moon! (Well technically, and Star Wars, but the crossover was in the Sailor Moon universe and my main character was a Mary Sue named Sailor Alderaan. I don’t think it exists on the internet anymore but the wayback machine may still have it. Please don’t look it up.)

19) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Oh GOD. What a question. Probably “The World is Not Enough”, my 90k fic for the Flash. Despite starting with an absolutely ridiculous premise (does this sound familiar?), I think it is by far the best plotting, pacing, and relationship development I’ve ever written. Oddly, despite being a fic I’m insanely proud of, it’s just never gotten a lot of attention even in that rarepair side of fandom...my other two fics for that pairing are pretty popular but that one just gets overlooked a lot.

---

I’m exhausted from a LONG day and have no idea who has been tagged and who hasn’t, so please consider this an open tag for all!

[flameohotfamily]

I love all your fics and HC’s. After reading Maiko ff for nearly ten years I finally decided to write some of my own and it’s not getting responded to much. Any advice on if I should keep it up or quit while I’m ahead?

OMG, dear anon <3333333333333

I'm... speechless? Thank you so much! Sending you virtual bear hugs!!!!!

I tell you what. I had been writing my first original story a few years ago, in my second language (not English, hah), and it took me around a year to write it, nearly 400 pages (almost a novel). I posted new chapters every week, I replied to every comment, every mention, I researched every drop of information and read a lot to have a good vocabulary. What do you think how many likes or comments I gained?

About a year after finishing it (plus the whole year I've been writing it and it was free to read at any time), I gained 62 likes under my story. A whole year!! Someone gains 62 likes in one day from a first chapter. Do you think I felt inspired, or creative, or talented?

With my first maiko fic it was even harder, my English level is still low and definitely was on the bottom in spring, and I was so so so scared to post it. Perhaps, in my native language my text would float like a river, in English I tried to write it at least grammarly correct (I failed even with this, seriously, my brain slowly breaks every time when I read something harder than Present Perfect) lol. And what do we have? Almost the same story, I mean, none of my fics has at least 100 kudos even now. Maybe you asked a wrong person for advice after all.

I become upset when I notice a mistake in my writing, I get frustrated every time when I read gorgeously written fics or stories (not because they are written gorgeously, but because I cannot write like this and I feel like a complete failure), I'm angry at myself every time when I cannot write at least a line for a new chapter. I guess, I might know how you feel sometimes.

But all of this is... strangely okay. Writing is a process, it's your learning and growth. Your mistakes, your frustration, your critical view of your texts, your insomnia at 4 a.m. when you have weird inspiration, your sitting in front of your notebook or laptop waiting for some creativity from above, your tired amused smile when you see a short comment under your work.

There is a great quote from one Talmudic sage, Hillel the Elder: “The shy man will not learn; the impatient man should not teach.” And I think it describes a lot of things perfectly. I know it takes courage to start, to write, it takes courage to post your work, it takes courage to read a comment from some critic who tears to pieces the text that you've been carefully writing for three weeks or even more. It takes courage. And you already did a good job and made great efforts by writing something and posting it, and I'm very very proud of you!!! You stepped outside from your comfort zone, you stepped over your shyness and insecurity, you're learning and it's... it's awesome!!!

I tell you honestly, yesterday I wanted to delete my modern au fic because I have no inspiration, motivation or power to continue it. Last week I wanted to delete this blog because I felt exhausted and I saw all of it as a useless waste of time (I mean, how many 20 y.o. make a whole blog about two cartoons? In this era of productivity and glowing up and making your own business from everything?). I burned out some time ago, and I'm still recovering from it. Some of my readers ask me when they can expect a new chapter, and I have no answer. Because I literally force myself to write and it doesn't feel right. I still get upset when my text is not smooth and beautiful, when I cannot find the words, or I simply don't know the grammar, I still doubt that I might sound ridiculous and no one talks like that (no one speaks English in my surroundings, so it's a kind of challenge), I still feel an urge to delete all of it. Or start to write in my native language at least, because personally for me it takes so much time to create something in English.

But the whole point of writing is that you should enjoy what you're doing. As long as you love writing in general, your texts and these characters, I think you should continue. Maybe write only for yourself, maybe for those five readers who would read everything that your mind would ever create, maybe for a big audience of your followers. Even if no one ever would appreciate it or comment it, I think you should write.

Take your time, rest some time, don't exhaust yourself, make something you're usually enjoying doing, whether it to listen to your favorite music, or reread your favorite book, or drink your favorite coffee/tea. And open a new page. Maybe you would write only one new line for a whole day or week, maybe you would write a chapter during one evening, who knows. But don't stop writing and don't give up on yourself so easily. Even a small step is progress, and even one kudos/like/comment means that someone somewhere spent their time reading your texts. Maybe you should quit it for some time, but please don't act too harshly and wipe everything out. Take days off, think about it, remind yourself why do you love this ship and why did you feel a desire to write about them, remember which positive emotions maiko or other ships/shows/stories etc. bring personally to you. Maybe you just need a break (I have a break right now, it's okay, it's refreshing).

Our maiko fandom is a tiny island between large oceans of other pairings (you know what I mean, since you're far longer in this fandom than me). We're small and unpopular, and underrated and even bashed sometimes. So I genuinely feel happy and grateful when I see new maiko content!! That's why I'm trying to support everyone who creates something new, or just appreciates it with kind words and positive vibes. What I'm trying to say, you are appreciated and welcomed, and it's great and wonderful that you decided to make a contribution into maiko family/nation/fandom or how you used to call it.

I know that perhaps I sound too motivational and supportive, but when I say it, I truly mean it - I'm ready to support every new maiko creator!! Because that's what some people here did and are doing for me, because that's what we're all supposed to do. Support and encourage each other. I wish I'd known who you are and seen your works, anon. Please feel free to write me here on in messages (don't be scared or embarrassed, I'm just like you!!!), and share your work. Write me, any of you, guys. I'm not a writer, I haven't written a masterpiece, I'm not a good advisor, but I'm ready to support you and help you to spread more maiko and your writings, and even share some of my experience if it might be helpful.

I hope I answered to your question. I feel so so honored and complimented that you've written me, so thank you!! Hope it helped, at least a little.

Send you, dear anon, and all the maiko shippers a lot of inspiration and positive thoughts. I bet you all are super talented and creative and deserve only the best things. Enjoy your writings and the process of creating, and don't be too hard on yourself because you're incredible <33