#almost every trans guy I know has had experience with a ‘friend’ like this

[homunculus-argument]

hey there! this sounds like a bit of a silly question, but as a trans guy, you’re one of the few trans people i’ve been following almost since i joined tumblr, so based on your other anon ask and answer i figured i’d pop in and ask if you have any advice? if you want to answer, ofc :) — i foresee this being a bit long, so i totally get if not

so i’m also a trans guy, but i haven’t been able to take any steps toward medical transitioning before since i live with my parents. but i’ll move out soon, and i still can’t decide if i should take any of these steps even once i do. i’ve never felt like i particularly wanted to medically transition (i don’t really care about how my body looks + i’ve never really cared about changing any of it), but i would like to be seen a guy — i don’t mind if not so by strangers, but maybe so by like, my friends. but i can’t help but feel like i’d be laughed at for wanting that — i’m not naturally androgynous or masculine looking to others and i have never been mistaken for a guy, because i have really long hair, d cups, and curves. and without medically transitioning, i also kinda feel like i’m… betraying the trans community, since i’m not really putting the effort into my transition and so i’m just ‘pretending’, even though i do know i’m not.

so my question would be: as a trans person who has transitioned, socially and medically, do you think people are more understanding than i think they are currently? do you know of any trans people who don’t want to medically transition, and do you think it’s possible to live fulfilled that way? or even: do you think it would be easier for someone like me to just live a lie? i usually tell people i’m a lesbian, because they definitely would not look at me and assume ‘straight guy’, but also, as a trans person who doesn’t want to medically transition, i’m just always worried that i won’t be taken seriously. i feel like your experience of being trans and probably interacting with the community is much more than mine, which is why i ask this last one — i would try being open myself, but again, i’m still living with my parents unfortunately.

I'll be honest I don't actually really know much "community" save for former art school classmates. I've only known one trans person irl who chose not to medically transition - at the time, Finland's trans law was still shitty and required sterilisation for legal sex change, and all that. She didn't want kids or anything, but refused to engage in the process as her own little personal civilian protest. I don't want to paint some caricature picture of some Sharp Dommy Tall Scary Goth Trans Anarchist, but I was deeply impressed by the way she didn't do a single thing to try to seem smaller, softer, or in any way submissive or docile to be ~feminine~ the right, socially accepted way.

She wasn't just taller than most men but usually the tallest person in the room, and she stood out in a crowd of cis women like a crane in a chicken coop - a bird just as much as they are, but a different kind of bird. And I remember thinking that I could never do that, being so unflinching and unhesitant about standing out in the crowd because assimilating and muting yourself is beneath your dignity.

Honestly, I don't know what to tell you about being openly trans without transitioning medically, save for that it takes more guts than being able to just go stealth. I had physical dysphoria about the way my body was, and was desperate to get top surgery just for the sake of my own physical comfort, and I like the convenient anonymity of being able to just be Just Some Guy who doesn't attract anyone's interest or curiosity.

It's a smart move to not come out to your parents before you're out of their house and not relying on them for anything - this is something everyone should use their own judgement for, but I stress it to every queer kid to not take the risk if there's any chance that they'll react poorly while they still have power over you. But living your whole life in the closet - "living a lie" is a good way to put it - will corrode you from the inside.

It's better to live in peace with yourself and against the world, than in peace with the world against yourself. There is absolutely nothing in your power that you could do to change the minds of people who have already decided that they don't respect you, and if they try telling you that they would, if you only met their approved criteria, they are lying. That's bait they're dangling in front of you, and there's no "earning" the respect of such people.

Stay true to yourself and be good to people, and you'll have the respect of people who are capable of respecting you. Don't waste your time and energy on people who won't respect you, every thought and effort you spare them is wasted on them.

[lexithwrites]

moonwater but its (trans) regulus frist time

so in the moonwater fic i wanna write regulus is a virgin so i wont write an entire scene as fingers crossed i'll write it in that haha but i do have headcanons i wanna share okay okay (nsfw below):

regulus isn't really a dating person, like he has crushes and likes being the mysterious hot guy but he's too chicken shit to actually flirt with anybody lmao so he's never slept with anyone, only kissed people (mostly his friends aka mostly barty) at parties or for dares and stuff

remus on the other hand is the guy who wants to find the love of his life, he's a secret romantic and loves with his whole heart, but he's only dated maybe four people so far, so that's his experiance, he becomes a master at one person then has to relearn another and he just wants to be with one person forever ya know

i can picture them both talking about their experiances in the way of remus telling reg that he hasn't really been with someone that's wanted him to feel pleasure, like people tried but no one really bothered too hard compared to him who always put in 110% every time

reg wants that BAD

he wants someone obsessed with him, that makes him feel comfortable and wants him to want them back, he wants to touch and learn and taste and feel and he wants it with remus

so when they do eventually get together he's excited but then he's like oh fuck we're a couple i have to DO things he gets nervous

remus doesn't expect sex,,,,ever, he isn't asexual exactly but sex isn't that big of a deal to him, he's used to the other person wanting it more so he's just happy to be with reg whilst poor regulus is having a crisis over when they need to have sex

it starts slow, touching each other's skin and just exploring, they're sweet and giggly and just taking in the fact they're together and it's sparks flying and they've both never felt this kind of connection before

basically, not only are they deeply in love, but they are so desperatley horny for each other and neither of them know how to express it

remus makes the first move and knows reg is trans, he truly doesn't care because he's had experiance with both kinds of genitals, he just wants to make reg feel as good as possible, and the first time he goes down on him it's in his bed at night and regulus has to desperatley cover his mouth because it feels so fucking good he's shaking

like no amount of touching himself will compare to remus' tongue and fingers on and inside him like,,,it's pure ecstasy

and reg is addicted after that he's dragging remus off to the black family library to make out and grind against each other and he touches remus but remus is still really nervous about finally being touched but one night they're out in the garden and regulus asks if he can just jerk him off, blowing is a lot for him since he's never done it, and remus is a MESS bro he's had handjobs before but regulus is curious and watching his every reaction and using it to learn and remus cums so hard he almost passes out

once again, both become obsessed with touch

their actual first time is silly and sweet, they're alone for once, no family or friends to possibly walk in on them, and they take their fucking time

it's hours of foreplay and smiles and nervous breathes and then remus is putting a condom on and regulus is clenching his fists but remus kisses him so softly that he melts, he tells him they can stop at any time, that if it hurts they wont do it again until regulus is ready, and so he pushes in and of course it feels weird, it kinda hurts a little as the stretch is a lot, but then remus is moaning in his ear and kissing his neck and telling him how gorgeous he is in the moonlight and regulus starts to feel it

remus goes DEEP and thats what reg figures out he likes, not girth but depth (and he's correct) so he starts begging remus to go deeper and just rock inside him and he's hiccuping out these noises that drive remus insane

then reg gets confident and asks to go on top and they're both done for basically, it gets them both off from just staring into the others eyes and panting and moaning together and when they both cum they just laugh and smile together because all of those nerves for this amazing moment????

so fucking worth it

[spacelazarwolf]

Also wrt the “transition for trans women is so much harder” like…we could do that too you know! There are absolutely aspects of transition that are easier one way, but that doesn’t make the entire process of transitioning easier in one direction than any other. It is no more helpful to say trans women have it harder because they have facial hair and other permanent effects of androgens that aren’t solved by HRT than it is for me to say “oh trans women have it so much easier because they can take estrogen to grow tits and just wear breastforms to pass in the meantime, whereas I have to get major surgery before people will stop misgendering me cuz my tits are so big that even binding isn’t enough.”

Everything i said there may be factually true, but that doesn’t make it helpful or reasonable to say. Breastforms are expensive, and not every trans girl on HRT will have an easy time growing breasts. Everyone has a different experience transitioning. Not every trans guy has an easy time growing facial hair, or binding, or with voice cracks. Some transfemmes have almost no facial or body hair, naturally softer facial features.

(Some transfemmes even naturally have tits! Lookin at you people with gynecomastia and other related intersex conditions!)

Like, especially with that person who said you couldn’t transition because transfems envy your body. Like, i just genuinely cannot imagine what gets in someone’s head to make them say things like “it’s transphobic to…*checks notes* be a trans man.” I hate to be the one to break this to them, but lots of trans men feel the same way about transfemmes! I sure did! Especially before i came out to myself I was so envious of my transfemme friends flat chests and deeper voices. I couldn’t understand why anyone would give up what I saw as clearly the better deal in favor of what I had. Does that mean it was somehow bigoted of them to transition? No! That’s literally the weirdest thing anyone has ever said!

seriously like. transition isn't easy for any of us! even in a perfect world it would still be stressful bc ur body is changing a ton!! instead of arguing abt who has it worse, we should be trading clothes and playing dnd.

[necrotic-nephilim]

Dicktim for the ask game:

Dick starts to have feelings for Tim, but he's scared because he's absolutely convinced he's straight. He goes so far as to even try to kiss Roy, which… doesn't make things better between them, and Garth which was just wet. And then Tim starts the transition as a woman, and Dick be like, ahhhh, so that's what it was. He can work with it :D

for the ask game!

!!! transfemme Tim supremacy. god i love any flavor of trans/genderqueer Tim. especially when everyone around Tim is either supper supportive or instantly clocks them as an egg, it's delightful. here are some thoughts (note: i'm using he/him for Tim up until transitioning just bc. ease of understanding)

having feelings for Tim comes with equal confusion and guilt. Dick has known Tim since he was a young teen and even now that Tim is growing into an adult, Dick is hyperaware of the implications that could come with it. but more than that, he's just *confused*. he doesn't mind the jokes about his sexuality because he knows he's comfortable with it. he experimented a bit in his teens and came to the firm, comfortable understanding that he's straight. so feelings for Tim are. confusing, to say the least. before Tim comes out, he's not particularly obvious about being an egg. he's only dated girls, even has a bit of a skater boy persona going on, so it's not easy to clock how deep in denial he is. so Dick is baffled on every level. he's googling it, kissing his prettiest male friends to see if maybe he is bisexual and this is just a late awakening. but it's definitely not and it's definitely just a complex for Tim. for a while Dick lives in denial of it convincing himself some wires got crossed or something because he would never like a guy and he'd especially never like Tim, someone who should be a little brother to him. and for a while, it almost works. Dick is able to compartmentalize and bury the feelings so deep he's mostly functioning around Tim, save for staring a little too long when he notices Tim is letting his hair grow out and watching Tim apply stage makeup to cover bruises. but he's mostly fine.

it's the Caroline Hill cover that gets Dick to break. Tim is trying to be as casual as he can about the idea of going undercover as a woman. Tim doesn't want anyone to think about why that would be his cover of choice so he just blames it on being so androgynous and no one really comments bc really, they've all had their weird fake identities. but when Tim has the long hair, the flawless makeup, and just a little fake padding in the right places it makes Dick choke. which feels horrifically objectifying to Dick and he feels even worse about his crush now. especially the way Tim talks when dressed up as Caroline. a softer voice that's clearly trying to be more feminine. and there's just. the way Tim seems so *comfortable*, as Caroline. like this is a natural, second skin to Tim. it sends Dick on a panicked spiral, wondering if this counts as some kind of horrible fetish or something. he's so guilty he probably vents to Donna or Wally about it, just to get his feelings out about the whole thing. they comfort him and talk him through it, finally convincing him to just talk to Tim. because the worst that happens, Tim rejects Dick and Dick can properly move on. and the best that happens, Dick can explore this weird feeling.

of course, Dick chooses the most awkward way to do it. instead of just talking to Tim about his feelings, he casually mentions Caroline Hill and how nice Tim looked. how it seems almost natural for Tim. and Tim *panicks*. because this is the first time anyone has called it out, and Tim is as deep in the closet as you can get. he ends up awkwardly mumbling that he liked being Caroline a lot, hoping the conversation will be dropped. but Dick presses and Tim ends up. accidentally coming out in a rushed word vomit that Dick barely understands. it ends with Dick blinking a few times and finally softly asking if Tim wants to be called Caroline with she/her pronouns. and when he gets a small yes, Dick immediately switches. he's so caught up in supporting Caroline, he doesn't immediately think about the crush. it takes a few days of watching her come out to everyone else and wear her hair more femininely, put on makeup, before Dick is suddenly *very* rudely reminded of his crush. because Caroline just seems a lot happier as a girl, and it seems so obvious now that she's out. she redesigns her suit to be more clearly female and that's when Dick can't hide the crush anymore. not for lack of trying, but the first time Red Robin patrols and clearly is a woman, Dick walks straight into a pole. (bonus points if Caroline's new suit is very unternet inspired, being visibly Nightwing-inspired just to make it worse for Dick) and Caroline, who's still anxious about her transition and being perceived as a woman, at first thinks it's about that. which leads to Dick awkwardly explaining his crush and well. in a way, it's the most gender-affirming thing for a straight person to have a crush on Caroline before she even came out.

their relationship is slow and careful, especially anything sexual. Dick is still acutely aware of the age difference and how they met muddling things, but Caroline brushes all of those concerns. she's an adult, she's consenting, and dear god who hasn't had a crush on Dick Grayson. i think it's sort of funny if when they start dating, Dick forgets to mention that Caroline is Tim Drake, who transitioned as a trans woman. so he talks about his girlfriend Caroline to his friends, who are very confused about who this Caroline girl is. Steph and Cass help Caroline learn silly things like "girl code" and Dick is prepared to curbstomb anyone who misgenders her. he's ready. probably a little too ready. their relationship flows so naturally Dick doesn't know how he didn't clock it before. his crush just feels obvious now. he doesn't want to be overbearing and wants to make sure she's going at her comfortable pace with her transition. but Dick is the type of ally boyfriend to google *everything* and help Caroline through deciding if and how to go onto hormones, how to legally transition, all of it. it's their version of date night. that and patrolling together, but that one is a given. it doesn't take long for the public to figure out that Nightwing and Red Robin are together (i think it's funny if no one can decide if there's a new Red Robin or if the old one transitioned. it's a hotly debated thread on reddit.) because of how affectionate Dick is. and of course Caroline just bluescreens under any affection from Dick bc this is her childhood crush, absolutely smitten for her.

i love exploring sexual headcanons for trans characters bc it's different for everyone. i'm a bottom Tim truther, so i think bottom Caroline works great in a gender-affirming sort of way, with Dick using very feminine words in sex. i do still think she would dom Dick, riding him or edging him. it's not what Dick expected, but he'll definitely take it. Caroline just likes reducing Dick to a begging mess. i also think there would be a mommy kink. i believe in Tim being called mommy even when he's not trans, so if she's trans, she's *definitely* being called mommy. gender affirmation and kinky fuckery. two birds one stone. she also likes letting Dick braid her hair and help her do her makeup. Dick buys her all kinds of nice lingerie to try on and then ruin during sex. it's a win-win for everyone.

[walrus150915]

Goldenheart headcanons for when they have only started dating and were awkward as hell

(because I am a trans bi teenager who wants to experience mlm love yet can't because I'm afraid to date boys due to my dysphoria)

I noticed you people like when I make long posts like these and I love them too so I think I can share some hcs of mine about this stage of their relationship bc I have a lot honestly :]

- they started dating when they were around 16yo

- none of them actually had feelings for each other before puberty hit and they were like "damn my bestie is kinda fine- WHAT"

- Bal fell first. Ambrosius fell and broke the floor under him bc boyyyy did he fall HARD

- Bal navigated his feelings like "Ugh okay I guess that's what happens when you're friends with a handsome guy everyone has a crush on. That'll pass. That's part of puberty. Stay calm" meanwhile Ambrosius screamed in his pillow and freaked out and cried only to pretend nothing bothered him. It was hard to pretend when you literally study at the same academia/school/whatever and see each other every day bc you're best friends

- during the mutual pining era the PE lessons were DIFFICULT. Especially when they were put up against each other

- they look like friends who had no problem hugging/brushing each other's hair/being close physically in general yet when the feelings appeared, the things which used to be very easy turned torturous

- Ballister was the one to ask if Ambrosius saw that their friendship changed. Ambrosius couldn't hold it in anymore and mumbled through his confession so fast and awkward Ballister has only understood phrases like "I really like you" and "romantically I mean" and "you're very cool and that'd be sick if we became boyfriends"

- Bal turned his face to the side and muttered something like "yeah I think it would"

- and so they became boyfriends!!

- has something changed in the way they behaved around each other? Yeah but also not really. They were still besties and the physical contact became A LITTLE easier now that the sorta relationship they had was clear between them, but they just couldn't help but blush while touching each other

- their first kiss was a mess dude😭😭

- Ambrosius wanted it to go as smoothly as possible so he watched romantic movies and practiced kissing with his hand (embarrassing? Yeah I now) but when it was time to finally show off his skills he panicked and pressed his lips to Ballister's for a few seconds then his nose almost bled out bc of the nerves (not me projecting on Ambrosius but that's literally what happened to me when I had my first kiss)

- Ballister seemed calm about this whole thing but it doesn't mean he was. When they had their first ever date he brushed his teeth extra clear just to make sure he'd smell good during their first kiss. Bro was THRILLED

- basically Ambrosius was overthinking this and Ballister was... Also overthinking I'M SORRY THESE TWO ARE HORRIBLE

Now the headcanons are for the time when they've been dating for like more than a few months and have kinda got used to each other in this new ~romantic~ way

- Bal's way of flirting wasn't really obvious since he doesn't look like a guy who can come up with romantic compliments on the spot, however I think he touched Ambrosius if he wanted to express his feelings for him. Stroke his bleach-damaged hair, make their pinkies intertwine, put his head on his shoulder and nuzzle into him - this or he'd infodump new history/physics/chemistry facts he learnt

Bal: Okay, did you know that [some really complicated science stuff I cannot describe in words because I'm a literature major]

Ambrosius, heart-eyed, no clue what he's talking about: Wow that's really interesting anyways do you want me to change my surname to Boldheart-

- Ambrosius looks like a total theatre kid so I think he often flirted with Bal by quoting some love poems they had in their curriculum. Of course he quoted their analogue of Romeo's monologue under Juliet's balcony why do you think he wouldn't

- Having said that, whenever he quoted something which referred to a woman, he changed pronouns and general words bc he's attentive like that. Sometimes it got absurd tho. "Manservant of the moon" instead of "maid" like dude😭😭😭😭

- Ballister tried his best not to laugh but also not to pass out bcuz of the amount of praise his boyfriend gave him which was actually a lot. My man is as much of a mess as Ambrosius is let's not forget that

- one day Ambrosius quoted something which was not from the curriculum but instead from Bal's favorite book. I think Bal liked adventure books about knights which sometimes included romance and I imagine the dialogue going:

Ambrosius: "And even if I had to turn against the whole world to follow you-

Them together: "-I would do it with no hesitation-"

Ambrosius: "Because you are my world, Sir Redsword"

Them: *staring at each other*

Bal, all blushing: ...that's not from the books our teacher told us to read

Ambrosius, also blushing madly: Yeah but I figured I like some variety

- That's when Bal knew this guy was his forever soulmate

- Bal used to be taller than Ambrosius for a long time of their early years but then Ambrosius got late height boost or idk how it's called. Basically dude went from 5'5 to 6'1 overnight and I know Ballister was PISSED

- these two totally kissed in the janitor's closet when they needed some privacy I'm telling you (not even in a "steamy" way although I think some sort of tension existed - cmon they were late teens bro do you really think puberty is nice to teenagers???).

- why would you get a private space where you can explore this side of your relationship safely when you can have a literal closet with racks and mops and buckets, am I right

- Ambrosius tried writing poems for Ballister they SUCKED

- Ballister still saved each and one of them. One day, he'll sort through his things to move to his own place after the wall comes down and find these yellow checkered sheets of paper, full of bad rhymes and silly words. He'd bring all of them to his (and Ambrosius's) new apartment

Okay now the last hcs which I honestly have no idea how to call but umm ✨what people around them thought about their blooming romance✨

- Queen Valerin understood something was up on the spot. Like, for a straight woman, her gaydar worked flawlessly😭 it was enough for her to see them hide the fact that they held hands to go "I know what you are". She was pretty supportive although she did ask Bal on their one-to-one meeting to "use protection" like all moms do🖐

- The Director also knew something was up but her reaction was more like "Sir Ambrosius will grow out of it". As you know, he never did LMAOO

- Todd was hilariously oblivious despite teasing Ambrosius like "HAHA LOLLLL GOLDENLOIN WHY R U ALWAYS WITH THIS COMMONER GUY ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH HIM OR SOMETHING". He did it in a cishetero "haha gotta mock my homie for being gay" yet DID NOT REALIZE his homie was, indeed, gay

- some cadets could pick up on it, some didn't

- anyway I think the general public knew nothing about it bc if they did that'd be a scandal worse than Henry the 8th's when he created a new religion bc his loins were on fire thanks to Anne Boleyn

ALSO GET THIS LITTLE PIECE (which I don't really like bc of the coloring choices) OF THEM :D

I swear Ambrosius isn't yellow irl😭😭 I'm myself asian I now better than that

That's about it I guess! Lemme know what you think (if you wanna use/adopt these hcs, feel free to do whatever you want with them! Just tag me so I could see it wjsjjajaj!!!!) ;3

[frozenjokes]

i continued being unable to sleep so i continued shoving as much of your writing into my brain as possible, by which i mean i just read alllll of the mumbomaid au pretty much at once and am being Normal about it

i love them all, i love all of them so much, i'm very invested in their shenanigans, i love how almost nobody understands gender and they all misunderstand it differently

i am ALSO aro in the "no i don't have feelings for anybody, yes i would date basically any of my friends" way and everything surrounding scar's aromanticism is so well done, i kept being soo exasperated with grian and the like. the incredibly allo misunderstanding of aromanticism, and not listening when scar and cleo try to tell him he doesn't get it, i have friends i've had almost those exact conversations with (but slightly less messy because of varyious factors including but not limited to Not Being Desert Duo, Thank Fuck) just ajfhdjdhjshdjfsk

also also i love textbook monsterfucker scar and i'm convinced bdubs thinks etho grew up in a cult or some shit (i'm throwing words at this ask box like spaghetti)

anyway uh. i'm probably gonna keep wanting to say words about your fics as i keep reading them and the ao3 comment section scares me so. i will probably be back, feel free to tell me to buzz off if this is not a preferred communication method

-guy that said mapleshade=p!scar (maplescar? scarpleshade? there's gotta be something here, did i mention the sleep deprivation sorry if this is all insane rambling lmao)

maplescar is a really cool tortie kitty name I like that a lot. maplescar would go crazy. ALSO PLEASE KEEP SAYING WORDS!!!!! say words FORWVER!!!! spam my ao3 comments and I will respond to them 9/10 ten times!!!!!!! I love talking I love when people talk to me THANK YOU!!!!!! you could send me an ask every single time you finish a chapter and I would kiss you on the lips each time but my followers might be killing you with hammers so. Pick your poison.

yeah my favorite part of mumbomaid is that no one knows what a gender is and they misunderstand in all different ways you put it 100% perfectly. I also find Grian to be frustrating but he’s also a vessel to explore More Feelings and in his defense a little outside of complicated aro/allo interactions scar is a bit of an asshole. They are both assholes. Two guys they Will have their cake and they Will eat it too and they are exploding because of it. I too thank god every day I am not desert duo I! hate them. Generally though I do not feel bitter about allo misunderstandings of aromanticism because I spent 21 years of my life also not understanding. Which. Is the fault of a normative society. However. It is deeply difficult to understand the internal experience of someone who functions differently than you on a chemical level. This is a bit of a tangent but my mom and I’s ability to communicate has been drastically improved by the acceptance that I am autistic. She sees me and we reflect on my life together and it makes Sense that the way I experience the world is Different so whenever we talk about something my mom doesn’t understand in relation to me her mind is so open because she knows my perception of the world is not the same as hers. neurodivergence isn’t entirely related to queerness but it has genuinely opened up so many doors for our communication. she goes aromantic? oh yeah that makes sense. I think she catalogs it with the autism which is correct because to me autism and Every Other Way I Experience The World is related. This is say I have a very amusing experience with one of my trans friends where he was like: …so you’ve never questioned your gender,,, like…. Ever..? and I said nope. and he like couldn’t believe me. He did obviously but it’s the idea that our experiences are so integral to the people we are that it’s extremely difficult to imagine it any other way. can you tell I’m a psych major yet. what was I talking about.

I haven’t thought of exactly what bdubs thinks about etho’s past but it’s probably something like that. Deep down, it doesn’t really matter. Bdubs just wants to protect him. He’s so worried, but he just wants etho to feel safe.

lightly suggestive under the cut bc I talk about the monster fucking a little bit and I don’t know your age/if my elaboration is unwarranted I’m just talking. I’m here for a silly time not a sexy one.

monsterfucker scar is dear to me. extremely important. Grian will never be able to do to him the, frankly, deranged things he fantasizes about. they can try but the mood is going to be ruined when scar is like :( your tentacle dick isn’t real. and Grian is going to sigh with his dumbfuck strap and the blue curtains and lights they hung up to make it look like they were underwater. Their entire experience in the bedroom is going to be a series of extremely comedic extremely unfortunate events to make up for the fact that scar is never getting any fish pussy 😔 scar will be put off the mood because Grian just isn’t Convicning enough like COME ON if I don’t believe I’m going to die THEN what’s THE POINT??????? their home life is just increasingly deranged. grian has accepted that he will never be able to compete with the horrors of the ocean and you may think that’s a ‘but he’s still a little jealous though..’ but he’s not. He’s accepted it. Full acceptance. The kind of worn down you get from fishing for a mending book for weeks on end but without the agony and more just. Amused. goodtimeswithscar is going to die young and by drowning but you’d better believe he’ll do it in ecstasy.

[itsjaywalkers]

Hello!hope ur having a good day :) <33

I was wondering if u wanted to share some trans reg hc, could be overall or like the boxing au one, or anything rly.

Like who was the first person he came out to, how/when did he realise, how does he deal with dysphoria- what gives him dysphoria/euphoria, and maybe how would it translate into like relationship and sexlife, would he be able to go ahead without any/much dysphoria, or would he have to have sex a ‘specific way(?? Idk??)’ to make it work?

A lot of question I know, and u don’t have to answer if it makes u uncomfortable or anything, I just wanted to hear more about your headcanons about this.

//a trans guy who is obsessed with trans reg, and ur writing

hi darling!! i have today off so i am . in fact . having a great day <3 i hope yours is treating u kindly too!!

and ofc i want to!! i'm gonna do it boxer au based, since reg's trans experience isn't the same in every story!! and don't worry, i'm happy to answer ur questions!! it doesn't make me uncomfy in the slightest, trans reg is very special to me too for many reasons and i loveeee talking about him <3

the first person he came out to was sirius!! this is my Truth almost always no matter the fic. it changes sometimes, if he takes longer to realise and he and sirius have a complicated relationship but !! in the boxer au they get along great and they're very close, so reg told sirius first!!

sirius already had his suspicions tho, and they had a lot of long deep convos about gender. he helped reg figure himself out and supported him every step of the way

in the boxer au, he realised quite young!! he was never completely comfortable in his own body, but since he was a very awkward and . odd . kid everyone attributed it to reg just not being 'normal' in general. when puberty hit it got worse tho, and even tho everyone told him it'd pass and that puberty wasn't supposed to feel good or fun, reg knew there was something else

sirius also noticed there was something going on with his brother, so he tried to help him in every way he could. he lent him his clothes whenever reg asked (even tho it was always kind of begrudgingly), convinced their parents to allow him to wear his hair short, bought him oversized clothes and called him by his nickname and never his actual name

but i think the moment it actually hit reg was when he got mistaken by a boy one time he got out of school and went to his father's office to wait for him. the receptionist assumed he was sirius, and it finally clicked for him

he didn't tell sirius immediately tho. he researched a lot first, almost obsessively, and he doubted himself all of the time, having these moments in which . he was afraid he was actually somehow making it all up in his mind

reg was very scared of change, and this was a very big One. he knew sirius would support him no matter what, but there's always fear yk?? and there was also the matter of his parents. he was absolutely terrified

but he ended up blurting it out one night he and sirius stayed up late in secret. sirius talked to him about this one boy he was crushing into, and came out to him. and reg came out to him in return!! there were a lot of hugs and a lot of tears (they pretended this never happened the next morning)

sirius was a man on a mission after this. he helped him browse names and started using the correct pronouns, always getting so incredibly upset when he slipped at the beginning. reg found it very endearing, and assured him it was fine bc it was understandably gonna take them both some time

reg didn't have many close friends back then, so he didn't really come out to anyone in school, and he graduated with only sirius knowing the truth

those years were hard ngl, and reg struggled A Lot, but having sirius on his side made the whole thing . slightly more bearable . sometimes not even that was enough but reg appreciated it immensely

how he deals with dysphoria has changed over time!! he relied a lot on the internet when he was younger, and on his brother too, but there was only so much sirius could do apart from offering a willing ear and being comforting, considering he couldn't really understand what reg was going through. it absolutely broke sirius' heart, to see him have breakdown after breakdown, losing his appetite or refusing to leave his room for days

back then reg experienced dysphoria constantly. he wasn't comfortable in his own body and he had a hard time looking at himself in the mirror, or even listening to himself talk

some days he could kind of deal with it, remain functional despite it all. he did his best to keep himself distracted so he wouldn't think too much about the whole thing

but other days getting up from bed was Hard

now tho !! it doesn't happen That often, he's the man he was always meant to be !! he's on T and got top surgery and legally changed his name and gender so he's kind of thriving

he still has his moments tho bc this is something he's gonna have to deal with for the rest of his life so when it happens he goes to the twins!! they're both trans in this story so they Understand what he's going through and they support each other Always

they exchange advice and comfort each other when it gets especially Hard and . idk it's all very lovely, they're each other's ppl yk??

again, back then a lot of stuff gave him dysphoria, but nowadays it's more specific?? little things that usually don't upset him that badly but that sometimes pile up and end up giving him actually bad dysphoria??

like . he's a well-known sports journalist, he isn't really a celebrity or anything but ppl do talk about him sometimes, especially bc of sirius (and then bc of james) and they tend to mention his looks or how similar or different he looks to his brother

and sometimes they use more . feminine adjectives or straight up say he's kinda feminine or even comment on him being trans since it's public knowledge and reg has spoken on it more than once and . it's stuff that doesn't affect him that badly but it still annoys him

it's the same when ppl highlight how passing he looks, how u can't even tell he's trans, etc

there's also the ppl that are purposefully transphobic or misgender him which . does actually make him quite dysphoric, even tho he's mostly very comfortable with his identity + his looks now

he also has a bit of a complicated relationship with . stuff that it's considered 'feminine'

like clothes don't have any gender, same with makeup, and reg wouldn't mind wearing a skirt even tho it's not his style and he does wear some makeup semi-regularly for tv interviews etc etc but . sometimes he feels slightly uncomfy on it, like he gets bad memories or becomes paranoid about how he looks in it, if the clothes make his body seem too . curvy .

as i've said, he's very confident nowadays but he still has his moments!!

when it comes to gender euphoria, it's all about the little things!! people calling him handsome, seeing how hairy his body is now, the fact that he can take his shirt off now when he goes to the beach etc

when it comes to relationships and his sex life he has reached a point in which he can usually go ahead without getting dysphoria but . it depends on his partner really

some ppl can be transphobic without meaning to or simply bc of a lack of knowledge which is fine by him u know he totally gets it, it's a matter of being willing to learn and to listen to him

like . he's used to guys assuming he only bottoms or not even ask if he's comfortable using his front hole u know

or using afab terms to refer to his genitals without making sure first reg is okay with that

which brings me to my next point !! in oby, reg himself uses afab terms and he's fine with james using them too, they've had a convo about it and everything

but it's different for reg in the boxer au!! he does use afab terms for himself, he doesn't mind at this point and it doesn't give him any dysphoria however . when it comes to his sexual partners . he prefers them using words like a cock or hole or more neutral names . it gives him gender euphoria!! and the other stuff makes him kinda uncomfy. it's fine when he's the one saying it or thinking it but hearing it out loud coming from . other people, especially people who are just there bc they're attracted to him and want to fuck him is . Not Great

he also isn't always fine with using his front hole during sex, it depends on his mood and how much he trusts the person he's gonna be sleeping with. besides, he quite likes anal too so !!

this whole thing is another reason why . reg doesn't want to sleep with james bc he feels like he's gonna be a bit of an asshole about it or be another guy who doesn't even bother asking about his preferences or what he's comfy with

which isn't the case at all!! james has been with trans ppl before, and even if he hadn't, he's very considerate with his partners!! and as he should tbh. him being arrogant or knowing he's great in bed doesn't mean he's selfish

[vikings-til-valhalla]

Come meet your viking!

Wanted to update my intro post, so here goes nothin'!

Hey y'all, I'm Magnus! Gay trans guy (he/him) in my mid 20s. Autistic.

I began this blog ages ago, though I don't recall how long it's been around because time is a vortex and I'm too busy to count anymore. Anyway!

This blog is a place for anything Asatru and viking related. It's important to know that Asatru is an open practice, meaning all are welcome. And I mean ALL folks! Feel free to ask religious questions and advice, but know that Asatru is an individually practiced religion, and therefore nobody is an ordained professional, and I by no means consider myself an expert or professional on any level. I'm just some guy with a blog. That's it.

My Asatru journey began as a kid, at 15 years old, namely when I tried to call for some deity out there who'd answer my biggest questions about who I am and why I felt like a boy if I was a girl. Jesus sure didn't give me an answer, not after many years of asking, but when I reached out to Odin, terrified to stray from the religious path my parents set me on, I got my answer nearly immediately.

I came out as me. And my parents accept that, support me, and still help me to this day almost a decade later!

I find it comedic because I've tried to work with the Æsir and Vanir both, but traditionally Vanir worship was for more feminine folk, and Æsir worship for the masculine. I've been the rough and tough guy for as long as I can remember, always playing videogames that boys my age as a kid played, doing MMA, and all my clothes were from the boy's section. I thrive on my masculinity. And needless to say as a result, my Vanir worship has NEVER gone well. At all. But my Æsir worship? Yeah that's always yielded results and been helpful to me. So uhh... even the gods know I'm a man!! ;)

Know that on this blog, absolute zero bigotry or hate in any form will be tolerated. That means no misogyny, no misandry, no transmisogyny or transmisandry, no hate, no racism, no sexism, no religious oppression for any religion, no hate for the innocent whatsoever, no anti-feminism and no radical feminism especially trans-exclusionary (TERF). Any instances I find in reblogs, comments, asks, DMs, etc. will result in immediate bans without warning.

So! That's about it for the blog part! Love y'all, and I hope you enjoy the place!

Some cool things about me below the cut!

I'm an author! I've got 2 published books in paperback currently, with a third in the works being posted by weekly chapters on my Substack. Most of my works are high fantasy and space fantasy, but I never do any writing outside the fantasy and sci-fi umbrellas. I'm big on writing queer male stories, featuring men of adult age loving other adult men, but all characters in my writing regardless of gender or lack thereof, are assumed queer unless I state otherwise.

I'm unable to attend college for health reasons, but I plan to return when/if I'm able, and get a degree in ethics! I am HUGE on ethical practices in every aspect, love debating morality and ethics, I've studied the subject quite intensely over the 6 years I was in college, and it's been my passion besides creative writing, which I don't need a degree to do, but I will need certification if I wish to become a professional ethicist! So that'll be my degree someday, Odin and Tyr be willing! My experiences with transphobia, homophobia, and having grown up with a majority of my friends being Jewish and Islamic, has inspired me to fight for equal rights, safety, acceptance, wellbeing, opportunities, and freedoms for every single human being worldwide. I wish to someday leave this world better than when I arrived for all who have to keep going after me.

Before disability, I did MMA for 13 years. I had 2 teachers, but they split apart early on, and I stuck with the one. I'm still in contact with both! Seeing as I'm better now with my pain, I'm going next summer to join the local martial arts school by the other former teacher.

If you ever find me at a renfaire, you'll know me when you find the tiniest little beefcake guy dressed in furs and plate armor (I'm less than 5ft/150cm tall).

My absolute favorite type of music is metal. All types of metal! Mainly power, symphonic, folk, and death are what I listen to!

Favorite medias are: Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, D&D, Gravity Falls, Destiny, The Elder Scrolls, Transformers, Futurama, Pokémon, and anything Lego

I have an insanely huge cat who is my son. His name is Patron, said like the tequila, and as of September 2024 he's 17.6lbs of man. Here's a video of me and him for scale.

Feel free to ask about my cat son. Please ask about my cat son. I love him. He loves hugs and snuggles. I could write a whole novel on him if I had time. Patron is my whole world and life.

[prpfz]

🍓🥝 eighteen plus roleplay. twenty three & any prns. looking for fandomless, ocxoc, varied pairings. most plots are kidnapping/stockholm, stalking or 🕊️🪦 so if that’s not your thing, keep scrolling. long as fuck so bare with me.

semi-lit to literate (200-400 words // 1-2k characters) 3rd person pov. replies once a week, NOT once a month. chatting ooc is encouraged. discord only, i ask that you please let me take care of the server. i do not use tupperbot! smut:plot is 30:70. animated/manga faceclaims only. NO real person, picrew, sims (video game fc’s) or hand drawn faceclaims.

★ . . . a. (29) male. dom, top. older soft mafia guy. works as an arms dealer & tries to stay away from the dirtier parts of the mob. father is retired yakuza with heavy ties and many connections. he is loyal, being raised in a mob setting, loyalty is life or death; and also intuitive. his gut feelings usually tell something is wrong or about to happen. he is also possessive, growing up in a household where things weren’t given evenly; and controlling, almost a perfectionist, wanting to be in control of every moment, action and setting. in control of his own life ★ want to use him in a mafia, kidnapping & sort of stockholm plot, where your muse (ftm, switch or sub, bottom & pre op pls) who has a rough life (please no prostitution, stripping or sexual abuse background stories) maybe parents owe money to another mob or maybe they do, so my guy kidnaps them to save their life; and to y/c getting kidnapped is better than their current situation. i need someone who is calm and level headed, but also still suspicious and has a hard time trusting. someone who won’t cry because they miss home, nor someone who throws attitude because they were kidnapped. someone neutral to the ordeal. my guy doesn’t really know about trans people, so this romance will be a slow, learning experience. i have many side characters for this story and it may sound cheap but im serious about the whole background and world building. i’m very specific and picky with this one.

★ . . . a. (24) male. switch+dom, top. charming and cunning ex con. pyromaniac, got arrested for burning down a liquor store (it was closed, nobody was there) did time in prison for it and had to start his life over when he got out. he is optimistic, having the “glass half full” mindset, always rolling with the punches and making the best of whatever cards life has dealt; and independent. he’s never had anyone to rely on, nor anyone he could really trust, so he looks out for himself, and takes care of himself, always, making him a bit selfish and self centered as well ★ want to use him in a neighbors, stalking to lovers plot (weird ik) where your muse (m or f, switch, bottom) is a broke college student who rented a cheap apartment a few months ago, where the windows are like five feet apart and you can see in. my guy gets out of prison and rents an apartment there which happens to be across from y/c’s. he begins to watch through the window, whenever he can, entranced by your muse. looking for someone social, outgoing, relaxed, definitely not sleazy or a party animal. someone who is smart and in college ofc. someone who is sort of excited about having a stalker when notes start popping up and things go missing.

★ . . . c. (24) ftm, pre op. sub, bottom. trans fashion designer who has made a name for himself among celebrities and the queer community, having unique commissioned pieces. he is confident, and rather social. he likes to dress up and go out with friends. he’s disciplined, coming from a home where respect was extremely important. he is ambitious and determined, enjoying his work while also being a workaholic. he has a fear of failure and is a bit of a pessimist, thinking negatively of most situations but rarely speaks on it ★ want to use him in a kidnapping/stockholm plot as well. basic plot honestly, your muse (m, dom top) is rich and obsessed with my muse, wanting them all for himself. looking for someone coercive, someone charismatic, who will shower my muse with gifts and such to make him feel less like a hostage, eventually my muse grows used to it.

★ . . . l. (19) fem. sub, bottom. young, aspiring nurse. still in college, works overtime as much as possible at her families convenience store to pay for her schooling. she is trustworthy and very responsible, having three younger brothers. she’s good at keeping secrets and comes through on her promises. she’s determined, once she has her goal set she will do anything to get it done. she can be envious of others success, appearance or even materialistic items. she’s also insensitive, saying and doing things that only pertain to her and how she feels, disregarding others. she is a sub, bottom ★ want to use her in either A) a kidnapping/stockholm plot where she is in love with your muse (m, dom top) who she assumes doesn’t know her. so she stalks your muse and breaks into his home. while she’s there your muse gets home to find her, knocks her out and basically kidnaps her, keeping her in his basement. looking for someone soft but still psycho, not violent but willing to keep her at all costs. someone who seems like they have a fairly normal life. // B) the neighbor stalker to lovers sort of plot from above ^^ where my muse is the broke college student and yours is the ex con. looking for someone cunning, sly, charismatic.

★ . . . g. (29) fem. switch+sub, vers+bottom older soft and motherly teacher (sometimes married sometimes not depending on the plot) works with middle and high school. she is patient and understanding, working with children one has to keep a calm demeanor and a level head. she is dependable, someone one can trust to be there for them, and she hates being late; so she’s always early. she is stubborn and hard headed, taking little to no outside advice, although is very dependent; not having been alone since she was a teen, always keeping a boyfriend, lover or a warm body in her bed for comfort. she is a switch++sub, soft dom, versatile with a bottom preference ★ i want to use her in some boy next door or teachers pet type plots with your (m, switch heavy dom++ vers heavy top++ very specific i know) also really looking for older 🍪 on this one. if you don’t know what that is, this isn’t the plot for you. looking for a muse that isn’t mouthy or bratty, but also not whiny and overly subby. really an obedient sub top. curious and eager to please, maybe really attached and sprightly possessive.

if interested in any of these muses (even if you’re not interested in the plot) feel free to reach out or leave a like.

like or dm

[edonee]

Hiii I need some advice and I don't know who to ask. Sorry If this is a lot.

So, theres this trans identified male who thinks that we are friends, I have been kind to them since we have friends in common and "she" didn't seem like a bad person at the start. But now he's starting to make me extremely uncomfortable. Everything started a couple months ago when he started making jokes about me having kids knowing full well that I don't want any, I told him that his jokes made me uncomfortable but he ignored me and even had the nerve to incite my friends to do that kind of jokes as well (I told them to stop and almost everyone except "her" understood), since then I feel like he's using me to project trad visions (talks about me marrying, the kids bullshit, even told me to throw my cat because I can't have kids if I have him in my apt) hes extremely disrespectful towards any woman: mocked some ladies that he knows because of their hobbys, talks a lot about hating "ugly women", laughed at other friend's clothes and so on. In general I feel like he doesn't respect me and he just keeps crossing boundaries every other day, I don't know how else tell him to stop without exploding and telling how he's just such a misoginist envious prick who enjoys making women uncomfortable. I feel like I can't talk to anyone about this because they will treat me like a bigot and side with her but I'm genuinely uncomfortable and just want this to stop without losing my friends.

I had a similar experience in my old friendgroup. "She" was the only male, he was friend of a friend so we let him hang out with us sometimes. Me and my friends always used to make sexual jokes and innuendos (all in good fun, and no one ever got upset because we were all in on the joke), but this guy started saying the most unhinged shit istg. And he only targeted me & one other girl in his "jokes". Obviously, jokes about r*pe, breeding, and typical porn-brainrot bullshit. He was also very verbally violent when one of us criticized him. Every man (TIMs included, although they think they are so different) I've ever been "friends" with has been the same. I advise you tell your friends how you feel, and if they defend him and his misogynistic behavior that means they were never good friends to begin with. You always need to prioritize your peace and safety above all friendships. Although I'm sure that if you tell your friends what you told me, even the most passionate TRA will agree that he's a creep.

[dontmeantobepoliticalbut]

Richard Fierro, the Army veteran who tackled and disarmed the shooter inside LGBTQ Club Q in Colorado Springs, is currently receiving a torrent of hate and harassment from far-right extremists.

The far-right has is calling Fierro a “groomer” and a “faggot,” while questioning his sexuality for being at the Club Q drag show. Others even questioned the veracity of his entire story, according to an investigation conducted by VICE News and researchers at Advance Democracy Inc, a nonprofit that tracks online extremism.

Far-right troll Jack Pososbiec was one of the first people to do this. “Are we just not supposed to talk about the US Army Major taking his family down to the local drag club for a night out?” Pososbiec asked followers on multiple platforms Tuesday morning, including on Truth Social where he has 960,000 followers and on Telegram, where he has over a million.

“Heroes don't take their kids to drag shows,” one of Posobiec’s followers wrote on Telegram in response.

Others joined in: “So a married man, His Wife, Daughter and her boyfriend all go to Gay bar together? I’m gonna call bullshit on this,” a user on far-right Christian platform Gab wrote on Tuesday.

“If it’s not bullshit he’s helping to molest children and he’s all for it,” another Gab user wrote in response, adding: “Faggot dad in closet.”

The attacks on Fierro are just one part of a concerted and consistent response from right wing influencers and conservative media outlets to diminish and question the horrific killing of five people inside LGBTQ nightclub Club Q on Saturday night. Figures like Posobiec, Fox News host Tucker Carlson, and anti-trans troll Matt Walsh have been doubling down on attacks against the LGBTQ community for years, increasing these attacks in regularity and toxicity in recent months, with accusations that members of the LGBTQ community are sexualizing or “grooming” children. Trans activists have warned that violent responses would be imminent, to little avail.

Fierro was in Club Q on Saturday night with his wife, daughter, and his daughter’s boyfriend. They were there to see one of his daughter’s friends perform in a drag show at the Colorado Springs venue that has been described as one of few safe spaces for the LGBTQ community in the city.

Fierro was sitting at a table joking with a friend when he saw a flash of gunfire and instinct kicked in.

“I don’t know exactly what I did, I just went into combat mode,” Fierro, a veteran with 15 years of experience and four tours in Iraq and Afghanistan, told the New York Times this week. “I just know I have to kill this guy before he kills us.”

Fierro tackled the gunman, disarmed him and beat him with the shooter’s own gun before pinning him on the ground with help from others until the police arrived. Before Fierro disarmed the shooter, the gunman killed five people at the club, including his daughter’s boyfriend. Without Fierro’s actions, police have said the death toll from the attack would have been much higher.

But for far-right trolls on platforms like Truth Social, Gettr, Parler, Gab, and Telegram, Fierro’s actions should not be met with praise, but with vitriol and anger.

On The Donald, a rabidly pro-Trump message board frequented by violent extremists, every thread about Fierro’s actions included questions about what he was even there in the first place.

On a hugely popular QAnon channel on Telegram, Fierro’s presence at Club Q instantly raised suggestions that the entire incident was a false flag. “Whole thing sounds like a staged event,” one channel member wrote under a post that had been read almost 70,000 times.

On Gettr, there were similar reactions to posts about Fierro’s heroics: “So a gay libtard shot up a bunch of gays and a gay ex Soldier helped take him down, there’s more to this, something smells fishy.”

Another Gettr user wrote in the same thread: “Gay men dressing up like women and mocking women is misogyny. Anyone who supports this is a misogynist. This man is not a hero. He just hates women.”

There were many on these platforms who praised Fierro’s actions, but after years of conditioning from figures like Posobiec, Carlson, and Walsh, as well as Republican lawmakers, most people on these far-right platforms were inclined to attack anyone that had anything to do with a drag show immediately.

Though the motives of the Club Q shooting suspect are unknown, he is facing possible hate crime charges. And for months, members of the LGBTQ community as well as organizations who provide care for the trans community have been targeted with far-right disinformation campaigns which in many cases have turned into real world violence and threats..

Last month, protesters in Eugene, Oregon, threw hand grenades and rocks outside a pub that was hosting a drag queen storytelling event. Other attacks against the LGBTQ and trans community have been on the rise as well: The Boston Children’s hospital was targeted with bomb threats after far-right figures posted about the hospital’s gender affirming care online and wrongly accused healthcare providers of “mutilating” children. In September, a pride center was vandalized in Florida.

[spiderton]

uhm . idk much about your ocs so can you just like start explaining your favourite or worst guys to me i want to listen so bad .. then i can ask questions

OH OH !!! il go with favorites first haha

pyropmen was created when i started working on my patapon verse thing and ive grown attached to her.. ive based her off my own experiences and i adore her a lot. shes meant to be based off a genus of planthoppers named pyrops (get it) and her colors are meant to reflect the trans flag because. well shes a trans women i think thats it. she also works as a mailmen at mt. gonrok (which is basically a karmen area that, in present-time where pyropmen is kicking, she works at and operates machinery and such. and a big ass post office maybe) il probably give her a redesign eventually but i enjoy her a lot

ukpimen is really really recent (she came in this year) but shes already a big favorite of mine. shes a falconer thats friends with spiderton, and she has to watch over her younger step-sister. she also knows about shadow creatures within the tundra! she had also found her snowy owl abandoned, and now that it basically imprinted on her. it likes to be in her hair

vittankarmen is a more older design but theyre meant to be the mother of zuttankarmen nd dettankarmen (in this verse they are both gods so. vittankarmen is a god) and well its obvious to state they are important to karmens. i dont got much else for her except shes the parent of all other karmen gods and also almost every shookle; many karmens at the coasts and rainforests respect and fear her image. she also has an actual completed toyhouse page but some info might be outdated

marmen is the last one but im still figuring her out. lorewise shes ormens first love and hukmens mother. shes dead! maybe. i dont have much least favorite ocs i do. like my guys plenty but that "least favorite" honor would go to uripon, organarma, and don. uripon i mentioned before but organarma is the zigoton god and don is one of the patapon gods... dont feel like explainin more aha

[eroticcannibal]

I’ll just get this out of the way: I believe in transandrophobia or whatever people want to call it, I believe in listening to trans mens experiences.

BUT. I cannot stand most of the big people on here who discuss it for reasons similar to the recent post you made about how privileged women still experience violence.

I once saw a thread of trans men all saying that cis white women who fear violence and being kidnapped murdered, shouldn’t fear that, and that any cis white woman who is scared of misogynistic violence has just been brainwashed by mainstream true crime and crime shows, and a couple people said “lol they don’t want you why are you scared”.

I am a white cis girl (I’m also a trans guy but that’s not super relevant rn lol). I fully know my privilege and frequently have discussions along the subject of white privilege with friends of color. I don’t shy away from the topic.

but I have almost been kidnapped twice in the short 18 years I’ve been on this planet. One of my earliest memories is that experience in a shopping mall. Every cis girl I know, white or not, has had real life experience at least once with this kind of thing.

and when I saw that thread, it made me feel ill. To me it feels like so many other trans guys on here decided that the “being a man doesn’t make you bad” doesn’t apply to any other privileged group because they didn’t want to be seen as deniers of other forms of privilege. I also saw an entire thread where a shit ton of trans guys were literally saying that, because white cis women are the physical “vessels of the white race”, then apparently we are not at risk of domestic violence because cis white men need us to keep their dream of a white supremacist world alive. and many people responded with righteous outrage just to be dismissed as “well they are just trying to defend white women”.

the fucking rampant misogyny in these spaces is so fucking hard to deal with, and they complain all day about how people ignore issues men have, then turn around and act like one form of privilege means your other experiences of oppression don’t matter.

so long story short thank you for those posts I’ve been so ducking exhausted lately trying to find a balance between discussing transandrophobia with other transmascs, and protecting my mental health from all the misogyny in those spaces. it’s so fucking tiring.

U get it. U get it. And yeah this sickening attitude towards women is rampant in spaces that support the idea of transandrophobia (and honestly I think this most recent wave of "progressive" misogyny is squarely on trans men who believe in transadrophobia, and insay that as one of them) I wasn't sure if I was gonna call out that group specifically myself but since u bring it up!

Also I think we saw the same post cus that sounds like one of a few that set me off lol

Like im not even shocked at ur experiences there. I have experienced and seen some SHIT while playing the role of a white cis woman. And it was all normal. The women who raised me to always be on guard did that for a reason. The distrust of men among white women isnt from brainwashing, its from knowing half your friends were molested by their male relatives and seeing their mothers get beat every evening.

But also that other example you discuss... now I've not seen it in these spaces specifically but I have seen *some* people dismissing violence against white women due to something something white supremacy and just. Its truly sickening. Its evil. (And shows a fundamental misunderstanding of white supremacy, female subjugation is an intrinsic part of it).

And yeah like you say. Any time someone brings attention to any of this shit its "how dare you defend WHITE women". As if they arent still women.

And especially when the social space i occupy still overlaps with the experiences considered that of white women, when I'm facing these justified fears of violence (again) in my day to day life.... yeah. Its fucking exhausting. When the spaces that claim to support my experiences as a man dismiss my experiences and fears because those are the experiences and fears of icky white women. (When they arent even mutually exclusive categories, and even people like me and the most cis of cis women have more in common than difference)

[prettyboyfucks]

How do I dress masc and not be seen as a tomboy?

hi friend, i appreciate you asking and i super hope that this is at least a tiny bit helpful

interesting question. my biggest piece of just general yadda yadda advice is to be comfortable and listen to your body and brain. if wearing a specific garment makes you flare up with dysphoria or feel physically uncomfortable (ie, binding for too long if you bind, wearing something too tight, itchy or hot) its not worth it!!

i've had experience with fucking up my back and ribs by binding and i still suffer with pain and posture issues almost 4 years post op top surgery; please show your body kindness, you are more than deserving

in terms of specific clothing items, i'll tell you what i've come to learn through my personal experience. everyones bodies and preferences are different!

i found that when i was really struggling with my physical presentation, i liked to do somewhat of a baggy, long sleeved button up + baggy pants/jeans combo. nu metal/skater dude vibes. beanie helps if ur having a silly hair day :P

cargo shorts that come right at/below the knee that are slightly oversized w a 'masculine' belt is a win. layers are great; flannels, vests, t shirt over long sleeves, etc. for me, oversized everything was such a savior.

also, can't go wrong with some chunky rings if you like accessories. and if you need to throat punch someone it'll really smite the motherfucker

i honestly though, above all else feel that dressing the way that makes you feel handsome is the way to go. people are so sinfully fucking stupid. if you get misgendered, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with their own ignorance. i myself am hairy as all fuck, masculine, 5"10, flat chested, deep voice; and i get misgendered every now and then to this day. my coworker, a masculine, cis man experiences the same damn thing, i've seen it firsthand. being a 'pretty' boy fucking can really blow ass sometimes, but the most important part of identity is your personal security. as trans people, we have to be our own best friends, as ridiculously hard as it is. know in your heart that regardless of other peoples' perspectives, it takes away absolutely no part of your masculinity. you deserve to feel confident in your identity. you're powerful and manly as all fuck for existing and being yourself in the social climate that we're cursed with today. like forreal dude.

i know i kind of went on a tangent, forgive me. i do hope this was a lil bit helpful. if you need a trans guy to talk to, despite the fact that i'm not the best with responding timely to messages, i'm here for you. much love

[fair-dinkum-mechanic]

I'm going to try and put this into words again but I always fail because it's so overwhelming and makes no sense to try and intellectualise such an innate feeling of dread that has been with me since I was a small child.

If anyone has an input on this (bc it's been a thing latent in my brain ever since I can remember) please dm me. I need to know what this is bc I believe it's where a significant chunk of my mental illness lies.

So ever since I was a young kid I NEVER felt I fit in. At first I thought I was just weird in general, but then I started to realise I didn't fit in with "masculine" things. I remember even was I was 2-6 years old adults commenting that I wasn't like the other boys, I was interested in reading and making my own little worlds and not running around or kicking a ball or anything like that. Now I know most queer men experience this in childhood, but what I mean extends further than that I feel. I truly felt like I was defective. Something was deeply, deeply wrong with me for not enjoying the things i was supposed to enjoy. From a VERY early age I was friends with girls. Some boys sure but I always thought the girls were nicer, cooler, something to aspire to. But I didn't grow out of that. I never saw myself as a "male" I just kinda... existed? But of course masculine things were FORCED on me every day and the anxiety I used to get going into school, or going home, or picking out clothes to wear, was terrifying. I remember being called a poof by my family in a joking way but I could see that deep down they were terrified that I was gay. It was not an acceptable thing to be in my family, it was explicitly stated by all members several times. But I never, ever related to anything masculine. I am spiritually estranged from my dad and my brother, where I can't even stand to speak to them because they were both so aggressively value and prioritise masculine views and ways. I would have "crushes" on girls but all that was, was me imagining cuddling with them or hugging them or going on cute dates and if I ever imagined it getting sexual, or even a kiss that was too passionate I was repulsed. So clearly, I was gay from a young age but didn't know it.

But now in my life, almost at 30, I still don't relate to masculinity. I don't know what's wrong with me. So many gay men, most of them I see actually, have been able to embrace it. Especially as someone who is older, and mostly a "top" there's a certain role I'm expected to fulfil, in order to be worthy of a relationship or anything like that. I did go to the gym every secondd day for a few years, and even then I wasn't lifting hard or monitoring my gains or doing ANYTHING like that because I can't think of anything worse, but that's what these men do. And on the other end of the spectrum, I'm not a feminine guy either. I'm put off by long nails and long hair on men (sexually, honestly do whatever you want with your body and slay), but like I don't find interest in makeup or fashion or any of those traditionally "feminine" things. Though I do see more merit in those than the opposite.

But I still have this internal view of what I need to be to be worthy of living in this world. I'm a man. I'm not trans, I've had that debate years ago in myself and found that out. But I'm not a man. But living as one there are certain things I need to be, certain ways I'm expected to behave, ways I'm supposed to look and things I'm supposed to want. Sure I may align with very few of them but I don't even HOLD myself like other men I see. I can't grow a beard like every other man I see. Like every man I see plastered over social media and commercials and in movies and in music. I actually hate and am deeply unsettled by masculinity. Deeply. But I feel like because I'm not that I'm destined to die alone, and I put that as a personal failure on my part. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough? Maybe I'm too weak? No self discipline? And I can't help but believe that this lack of masculinity in looks, in behaviour, in drive, is why other men are offput by me. Why I'm so disposable. Not in an incel way bc I don't blame anyone else in the end I blame myself. I don't have trouble hooking up, bc that's the most masculine thing about me. But I don't want that. I've done that. I want... peace. I want comfort. I want love and light and warmth and I want to feel like I'm worthy of that but I don't. I don't feel worthy of that. Because I'm wrong. There's something wrong with me. I'm broken and that's why I'm feeling so alone.

[icedmetaltea]

Would you mind sharing some stuff about your experience as a genderfluid person if you feel comfortable with that? I've been questioning if I am for a while now, so it'd be really nice to get your perspective on things.

Like, how does it feel to be genderfluid and how do you know when you're a boy, girl or inbetween? When did you find out? If any of your family or friends know, do they call you different names based on your current gender?

Delete if this makes you uncomfortable by the way!

Of course!

(long post ahead oops)

It's difficult to describe what it feels like to be genderfluid as like... you can't really explain what it feels like to be a different gender to someone who has only experienced one gender their whole life, ya know? Or even to a trans person, since the fluidity complicates things. But I'll do ma best. Also this is only my personal experience, every genderfluid person will view things uniquely.

So I don't personally view it as "being a girl, boy, etc" but rather being farther on the masc (masculine) or fem (feminine) scale. Like I might say I'm having a "boy" day or a "girl" day but what I really mean is I'm feeling particularly masc or particularly fem.

On my fem days, I feel the best because I'm afab (assigned female at birth) and therefore don't experience dysphoria for that... though it is a bit strange because I do feel like I have to really emphasize to people that I'm a girl for some reason, by wearing makeup, skirts, etc even though I don't look like a guy so it's just a self-image thing. Maybe because I have a pretty masculine face?? Idk. But I get kinda a certain euphoria about it. I love my fem days so much. I can feel myself without worry about getting strange looks or feeling bad about my body.

On my masc days, I almost always experience dysphoria and therefore I hate my masc days with a burning passion. I also tend to be like "maybe I'm trans after all ://" even though I know for a fact it will change soon. Thankfully, masc days are few and far between compared to neutral/fem. During these days, I like to wear baggy clothes, I can't wear a binder due to the breathless feeling it gives me but sports bras or just being shirtless without one (AT HOME), letting my hair get unkempt and/or putting it in a bun under a hat, etc.

On neutral days, I'm probably the most "me". Not too much to say about these days; I don't particularly mind dressing masc or fem, I'm just a chilled-out potato.

So I guess it's kinda like having two (or three if you count neutral days) people inside me, but still much different from a split personality disorder or anything like that. I still keep my core interests no matter how I identify, though certain smaller preferences will align with my current identity (like makeup on fem days, not because fem people inherently like makeup but because it helps me feel more confident in my current identity). I am also aware that I am the same person throughout all these phases, but simply my need to present in a certain way (masc, fem, neutral) changes due to a switch in my brain. How does that switch work?? No clue.

I found out when I was around 14. I had been aware of trans identities for a while but that didn't feel like me. Then I saw the term genderfluid and was like woa there's a word for it?? Sick! Now that I'm nearly 24, I still value this part of myself and am glad I had access to the internet to expose me to things beyond the strict binary I was taught. Not to get into trauma but like genuinely, if I didn't have access to the net, I... Yeah, things would not have gone well. Fuck bigotry.

I've been this way for as long as I can remember. Heck, I remember having masc days as far back as when I was like 6 or something. I struggled with wanting to be a "tomboy" vs a "girly girl" bc I thought I had to pick one and that it would forever be my identity (fool!)

As for family, only my sibling knows. Considering how telling them (or rather being outed against my consent) as asexual, I will never trust anyone else in my family with this aspect of myself. My sib is agender themselves so it's easier for them to grasp. They don't have a different name for me based on gender and that's ok with me.

All my close friends know, and respect it (pro tip if a friend doesn't respect it, toss em in da bin) and, since they're all on discord, I'll simply change my name based on what my current identity is (on there it's Cindy (fem), Cyn (neutral) or Cid (masc) and that simplifies things immensely.

Hope that helps a bit!