#also . the song after Crow pt.2 is so good. all of them are. but the way he sings 'wailing and moaning for you' is beautiful

[c-kiddo]

not sure how many times i've listened to this song over the past few years but its been in at least my top 50 songs each year

the two paintings:

[fuckingheartgames]

"Trust issues" Tagging with Kane and Xpac pt.2

After the fight with your tag team partners Kane and Xpac, your best friend Edge comes up with a plan to prove to them that you're loyal while still getting revenge.

Warning; Angst with happy ending, slight injuries and swear words

---------------------------------------------------------

"Are you sure this is the right thing to do?" It was Christian who voiced his concerns and the same thing you thought about. But you just nodded.

"It might not be morally okay but it feels right for the moment. They've hurt me and I want to prove myself." You said seemingly confident. Edge stood beside you, functioning as your emotional support.

Grangel was the next to speak up.

"I see your point and we will help you but with a little twist, you up for that?" His smile creeped you, Gangrel always did.

"Alright, I'm up. So let's get moving." You smiled at them linking your arm with Edges. And so the four of you made your way to gorilla. Waiting for the entrance music to start and the right moment to hit, you thought about how much luck you had that your tag team partners already had their entrance sequence and were already waiting in the ring.

The theme song of The Brood started to play and Christian and Gangrel went out first, doing their usual entrance antics.

The crowed cheered but chanted Edges name as he was still in the gorilla with you. Smiling at each other you made your way onto the ramp, the cheer getting louder at your entrance but you could also make out some booing as the crowd saw you with The Brood.

You felt uneasy but played it cool making your way to the ring at the side of your best friend. But the closer you came the more you felt the hateful and burning looks of your tag team partners. There was no turning back now, the plan was already set in motion so you played along, giving them a predatory smile you let Edge help you up onto the apron. You did your usual ring antics before hopping down and joining Gangrel on the ground again.

The match soon started with Kane and Edge as the first opponents. It was a long back and forth between them each getting a good hit at the other but things changed quickly when Edges spear missed and Kane got the upper hand. Luckily Edge was able to make a hot tag. Christian soon had Kane in his corner, where Xpac tagged himself in. Both Christian and Xpac gave their all, in favour of your plan both teams were distracted so that you were able to sneak a steel chair.

Christian soon had Xpac on the mat and the ref started counting and just as he was about to hit three you jumped up and hit Christian in the back with the chair, interrupting the pin.

You had no time to see the reaction of either Kane nor Xpac as Edge and Gangrel jumped into the ring. Saving yourself you left the ring, jumping the fence, and running through the crowd, The Brood members always close. You ran backstage hoping to outrun them but you had no luck Edge caught you and a brawl broke out. So that's what Gangrel meant you thought to yourself as you lost consciousness after being thrown into a wall.

In the meantime, the match went on, this time in favor of your team. Xpac had tagged in Kane who was now pinning a hurt Christian the ref started counting and this time there was no interruption. Kane and Xpac were just declared the winners when Edge and Gangrel came back. And the first thing everyone noticed was how Edge had your unconscious figure thrown over his shoulder. They made their way towards the ring, climbed onto the apron, and carelessly dropped you at the feet of Kane and Xpac. The crowd booed as Gangrel raised the microphone.

"Have your little cheerleader back, we have no use for a traitor!" Gangrel said with a venom-laced tongue. Helping Christian to his feet, the brood left the ring, without any of them looking back even once.

It was eerily silent, and not a single sound could be heard until Kane dragged you to the ring ropes. The audience started to applaud as Kane threw you over his shoulder and Xpac climbed out of the ring as well. But this time was different. The smaller man wasn't as hyped as he usually would be and even Kane seemed to be more silent than he normally is. Making their way to the locker room with you in tow both were stuck in their thoughts. Neither understood why you did what you did. And while Xpac felt guilty for causing you the pain you probably went through, Kane was angry at The Brood for hurting you, at you for playing this stupid game and surprisingly at himself for his distrust and the way he and Xpac had acted.

In the locker room, he put you down on the sofa so you would be comfortable.

"Maybe we should bring them to the medics, we don't know what Edge and that other dude did." Xpac was worried, very much at that but Kane just shook his head. He wanted to tell him how strong you were and that you would probably be awake sooner than later.

"Kane, what if it's a really bad injury, we don't know why they're unconscious!" Xpac paced through the room, glancing at you every now and then.

Kane just shook his head again and just as Xpac wanted to just take you to the medics himself you woke up, whining as you held your head.

You didn't know in which locker room you were but you appreciated the sofa you were on. Blinking a few times you looked up, right into the masked face of Kane. You flinched, badly, oh shit this will end disastrously wouldn't it?

You didn't dare say a word. So the smaller of the two men did.

"How are you? What did those suckers do?" Was he really worried or was he just luring you into false security to lash out again? You didn't know, you didn't care.

"I'm okay I guess... I think I should leave though I don't want to bother you any further." Your mumbled as you tried to get up. But a big hand on your shoulder stopped you.

Kane again shook his head and Xpac started questioning his sanity but he was glad for the silent giant as well.

"Listen, we're sorry. And you know us, we hate apologising but come on that Rated R dude is your best friend... and well maybe we're a little to um insecure." He felt weird saying it out loud but that was what he thought. He felt like you deserved more. You've always been kind, you always supported them, you've been there for them no matter what, that's nothing neither Kane or he himself had experience with.

You looked at him confused. "Insecure about what? Pac...you both make me feel comfortable like we're on the same level. You don't treat me like I'm just your eye candy, your little cheerleader. There's nothing to be insecure about."

Kane let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and Xpac also relaxed a bit. So you didn't plan on leaving them.

"So you're not leaving, even though we behaved like the biggest pricks to ever exist?" The young man looked everywhere but not you until he heard you laugh. Why are you laughing?

Simple, you thought it was hilarious how such a confident man and strong silent brute were afraid you were leaving them. "Of course not, except you pull something like that again." You meant it. You wouldn't leave these lovable idiots for anything in the universe.

"Puh, so there would be nothing against going somewhere to celebrate right?" There he was, the bubbly and mischievous Xpac you knew.

"Nothing except my slight headache but yeah if Kane is comfortable with it we can go out." You smiled. And Kane who sat down beside you just a few moments ago hummed while nodding his head yes.

And thus the three of you became the unstoppable force you were before. Causing trouble and winning whenever you could.

~The End~

---------------------------------------------------------

So that was that, it might not be perfect but I love it anyways. If you're interested in it I can post the alternate sad ending as well.

-Jamie

[fiddlepickdouglas]

Viva Las Vegas, Pt. 5 - The Stratosphere

Summary: Sunset Curve Alive AU, Willex, where will they go?, 2.7k

@trevor-wilson-covington​ is the bestie who makes these lovely edits, we stan supportive friends

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

“So, I was thinking,” Luke was saying to Julie once everyone was back in the green room, chatting lightly as they packed up their gear. “Maybe I could visit your mom in the hospital and play some songs for her. Cheer her up, you know?”

Julie looked so touched. Willie still didn’t know their whole story, but they seemed like a good fit. He had offered to help Alex load up his drums, but apparently there were people paid to do that here. Alex was just supervising it because he wanted to make sure they were handled right. It was a pity this place was full of techs and ushers and security because it was so tempting for Willie to try a few tricks on his board in there.

He’d finally gotten a proper introduction to everyone, and it turned out that all of Alex’s friends were great. The guys were all super chill, and he couldn’t thank Julie and Flynn enough for letting him be there to begin with. They seemed almost like a family. If he didn’t think about it too long, then he could ignore how badly he wanted to stay around all of them for as long as he could. Willie couldn’t remember anywhere that had felt so warm and open. He ran his fingers over the new bandage that he’d gotten on his hand.

Alex sat beside him, gear all stashed away.

“So, what’s your plan?” he asked.

“It’s a surprise,” Willie teased. “But it’s close.”

Alex looked around the room and then back at him with wonder in his eyes, raising the corners of his lips.

“Just the two of us though,” Willie added.

“Of course,” Alex nodded, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“Hey, guys,” Luke spoke to the entire room. Flynn, Reggie, and Bobby stopped the silly hand clapping game they were in the middle of and all turned their heads to face him.

“Julie and I just came up with a super cool plan,” Luke continued. Julie stood with him, and Luke immediately stood back to let her speak.

“I told you guys that my mom’s cancer is back. She’s given a lot to me, and I don’t think I could ever give back everything. But it would be really neat if we all gave her a private mini concert.”

Cheers went around the room, making Julie beam with happiness.

“I know it’s short notice,” she went on. “But I want to try to do it once we’re all back in California.”

“But what about your shows in the next couple of days?” Flynn questioned.

“I’m gonna see if I can reschedule them. I know it isn’t an ideal thing to do but with my mom’s condition, I’ve gotta do what I can.”

Willie sat quietly. He would’ve been happy to be involved, but was too aware that he was staying here in Vegas. That same feeling of wrongness crept along his skin, making him fold his arms and rub his thumb where it rested. He wasn’t sure when he’d picked up the habit, but he was doing it a lot more often recently.

“Uh…” he started. “I’m gonna catch up with you guys later, if that's okay.” He glanced over at Willie in a subtle but giddy manner.

The group finished discussing plans about getting together for a quick practice and what kind of songs they would do for Julie’s mom. When Willie suggested Yellow Submarine, Alex advocated for it as well, and he was happy to have made at least some contribution to their ideas. Once all that was put together, everyone got ready to go their separate ways. All the guys shuffled toward their van and Alex hung behind for a moment.

The guys all looked mildly surprised, but ultimately shrugged.

“Catch you later, Alex,” Luke said, giving him a wink. Reggie was singing Yellow Submarine under his breath as they drove away, to which Willie giggled quietly.

“You ready?” he turned to Alex, noticing his hands were free from clutching the strap of his fanny pack this time.

“I guess I am,” Alex said, smiling through his nerves.

Willie took his hand tightly and carried his board with the other. Alex's smile only grew wider as they hurried out to the street. The goofy jerking between their hands only made them squeeze harder to keep contact. He could hear the delighted chuckle being released behind him as he guided Alex across the city. He felt his lungs let forth a youthful yell from his throat, and he felt like Peter Pan crowing as he flew through the stars.

People darted out of their way as they rushed onward. Willie eventually saw his target, the Stratosphere, and didn't even bother pausing before he pulled Alex through the entrance. The elevator was just being emptied and before anyone could stop them, he tugged Alex inside and pressed the buttons to get them to the highest floor. The doors shut and they felt the jolt of being lifted from the ground pull them downward.

"Aren't we supposed to pay for tickets?" Alex panted, laughing between breaths.

Willie, also doubled over in laughter, just shook his head.

"Capitalism sucks, man! Don't buy into it!"

Alex only wheezed, leaning into the wall for support. Eventually, they both sat on the floor and after a few more bouts of laughter were able to calm down and breathe normally.

"When you said you had your ways I didn't know you literally meant you could just walk in anywhere," Alex thought aloud.

"The concert was luck," Willie smiled. "Here, it's just practice."

Alex shook his head incredulously. They both sighed, feeling that strange tension that had been there back in the diner, except Willie felt it in his fingertips. He eyed Alex’s hand lying inches away, and imagined himself reaching through and lacing their fingers together.

"How's that relaxing going, by the way?" he wondered.

"Hard to tell with you around," Alex stated, sarcasm not to be missed.

"I'll take the compliment."

Their long ride inside the elevator was near the end, and they stood up as the numbers got closer. Willie felt Alex's pinkie reach for his and he was happily surprised at the feeling of skin twining with skin. It was like they didn’t have to say anything - they just felt the same things. The door opened to the fresh evening breeze and revealed the wonderful sight before them.

"Whoa," Alex breathed, immediately drawn to the view on the observation deck. The lights from below sparkled in his eyes and Willie followed as they came right up to the railing. Both of them sat in awed silence, watching everything blink and glitter beneath them. The mountains in the distance bordered everything in a gentle, majestic manner. Willie had been up here so many times and somehow never noticed the odd sense of being folded in angels' wings before.

“I’ve been an idiot,” Alex started saying. Willie turned his head in confusion. Their hands slipped apart as Alex began gesturing to emphasize his words. “I’ve been thinking all day about how everything goes wrong and expecting everything to go wrong. I haven’t been enjoying anything nearly as much as I should be right now.”

Willie didn’t reply just yet. He just looked at Alex, watching how tense he was still, almost as if he could see the lion in the cage inside his head. All he wanted was to set it free. He looked around, and while there were a couple people on the other side of the observation deck, they seemed likely to just take pictures and then head back down.

“You know what I love about being up here besides the view?” he asked Alex.

“What?”

Willie gripped the railing as hard as he could, took in a deep breath, and screamed out into the darkness. Alex looked around nervously, but only watched the other people on the deck make their way back to the elevator.

“You gotta try it,” Willie urged.

Alex braced himself against the barrier and gave a nice little yelp.

“Oh, are you a puppy up for adoption?” Willie joked, tugging on Alex’s jacket. “Your whole body needs to let go.”

Alex looked back at him with an intense focus, and then turned back to the railing. Filling his lungs to the brim, he yelled viciously over the top of it. Willie joined him and they both staggered between screaming and taking moments to breathe. Something about it said words beyond what they had spoken. Willie heard a unique sort of agony as Alex belted everything to the night. He wondered if his pain came through as well.

Alex finally sighed as he finished his last shout and then looked up at the sky and closed his eyes.

“I did enjoy that,” he said. “Thank you.” He dropped his posture and Willie smiled at seeing him finally loosen up.

“Didn’t know you had so much pent up rage,” he commented.

“I guess I didn’t either,” Alex said, chuckling darkly. He sat on the ground and looked up at Willie to follow suit. Taking a seat across from him, Willie eyed him curiously.

“Now what?” he asked.

“Staring contest,” Alex said plainly.

Unfortunately, Willie blinked immediately. Probably ten times in succession, actually. This time, Alex got to laugh.

“Okay, not an actual staring contest,” he said. “ But I’ve tried this with all the guys in the band. We look into each other’s eyes for a few minutes, no speaking, and we just....know each other better. Bobby’s the one who started it.”

Willie only nodded as they got into comfortable positions before locking eyes. He tried to silence any impulses for his mind to focus on anything else and channeled everything into looking at Alex. Even in the dim light, he picked up the green color staring back at him. The stillness outside rivaled the storm within them.

Slowly, the storm softened into waves of caring kindness. They were powerful, but low, as if Willie were wading in shallow water and letting them crash over him. Each wake broke upon him in just the way he wanted to collide with them. This wasn’t a tide where he would get lost in the danger of the deep. The current was pushing him back to the shore, toward safe ground. 

The image in his mind suddenly morphed, and he was transported from calming waves to a rickety road. Fields passed by as he found himself looking out a window. His vision steered to his left, and an older man with a jovial smile sat at the wheel, turning to him as if they’d been passing jokes between them. The man’s familiar laugh echoed in his head.

 Absent-mindedly, Willie grabbed Alex’s hand. Pulled out of his trance, Alex looked at him with concern.

“I just remembered something,” Willie said, sounding like he’d received divine communication. It almost felt like he had. That image was supposed to be locked away, he’d been told. Never to be known again.

“What, like you left the stove on or something?” Alex asked in confusion.

Willie shook his head seriously. His hand was still squeezing Alex’s but he couldn’t get it to loosen its grip. It wasn’t because the memory had scared him, but fear was present anyway.

“No.” His eyes had trouble focusing on Alex’s face, now. “I think I remembered my dad. Like we were driving together. I remembered him.”

Alex dipped his head lower as he tried to figure out what Willie meant.

Willie bit his lip and looked at him apprehensively. This wasn’t the intended topic of discussion tonight. It wasn’t a subject he was usually allowed to speak of to begin with. He opened his mouth and clamped it shut, and then opened it again.

“I have retrograde amnesia,” he confessed.

Alex’s jaw slacked and hung open for a minute. Willie wasn’t sure how long he could handle this gorgeous boy blinking at him in disbelief before Alex closed it again.

“Oh my god, Willie,” he started, still sounding unsure but remaining gentle.

“I’m sorry, that’s sort of a really big thing to just drop on somebody,” Willie started.

“No, no, you don’t need to be sorry,” Alex soothed. “But, oh my god, you just remembered something.”

Willie ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath.

“Yeah… I did,” he said, just realizing the significance of that himself. His past wasn’t entirely under lock and key. That...brought a lot of emotions with it.

“Wait, so how long have you been like this?” Alex asked.

“About a year and a half,” Willie told him solemnly. “Caleb told me I was hit by a car when I was out skating. I even have a scar.” He lifted his hair and turned his head so Alex could get a look. Alex grimaced and shook his head, clearly not liking the visual he’d received in his mind.

“You’re lucky you’re not dead,” he said.

“Yeah, Caleb said that too.”

“Wait, who’s Caleb?” Alex blurted.

“Oh,” Willie looked downcast. “He’s my legal guardian. And my boss. You saw him this morning, remember?”

“That’s your legal guardian?” Alex said, sounding slightly upset. “Guy gave me the creeps.”

“That’s fair,” Alex said, sounding a little unconvinced of his own statement. He sat quietly for a minute. Willie studied him, worried about how he would respond next. Any fun had been sucked out of the air due to his own personal business.

“Yeah, well,” Willie shrugged. “He does that. But, what can I do, you know?”

“So, for the past year and a half,” Alex started. “You’ve had nobody except your boss?”

Wow, that hit him right in between the eyes. Willie hadn’t actually considered that before. He blinked momentarily and then looked directly into Alex’s eyes as pain slowly took over. Then hot tears welled up, causing him to look away.

“I guess not,” he said quietly, his voice already trembling. Before he could huddle into a little ball, Alex’s arms were around him, pressing his head to his chest. Heaving a sigh, he let the tears fall as quietly as he dared to be. His hand crept up to hold onto Alex’s shoulder and gripped tightly. A funny weight was felt on the top of his head, and he realized Alex was running his fingers through his hair. It was so soothing, so...sweet. Willie didn’t realize that was something he missed from his many forgotten memories.

Soon, he straightened up and wiped his eyes.

“Thank you,” he said to Alex, knowing he couldn’t possibly convey how grateful he truly was.

“Of course,” Alex assured him, still gazing upon him tenderly.

“I guess I killed the mood, huh?” Willie attempted to joke. Alex simply smirked and shook his head.

“For what it’s worth, I was totally lost in your eyes, so I needed to come back to reality.”

Willie couldn’t help but smile, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

“That was for free,” he said, already getting back into step with his sense of humor. “I charge everyone else.”

Alex quietly entered the hotel and slipped into the door of their room. The guys had thankfully left it ajar so he wouldn’t be locked out. Luke was already lightly snoring on the couch, and he saw that Reggie and Bobby had both taken the larger bed. Carefully pulling his fanny pack over his head and setting it on the side table, he kicked off his shoes.

“Hey, Alex,” he heard Reggie whispering. Dammit. “How’d it go?”

The entire night replayed on fast forward in his mind, and he couldn’t get over the beauty of it all. The weight of it all.

“It was good, Reg,” he whispered back. He quickly changed and climbed into the bed that came down from the wall. Too many thoughts and feelings swirled in his mind like a cajun soup. Willie was amazing. There was nothing else to it except smaller details that attested to the same fact. Today had been all he would have of him, though. His mind paused on that thought as silence filled his ears.

“Did you kiss him?” Reggie whispered out of the blue in curiosity.

“Hey, bigger spoon,” Bobby mumbled groggily. “Be quiet.”

Alex didn’t answer, but smiled quietly to himself. He should have kissed him.

[jaskiersvalley]

HEY I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT YOUR FICLET ABOUT GERALT BEING ILLITERATE IS THE MOST PRECIOUS THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. I had to put down my phone and whimper when he pulled out the card 🥺 can.. can i humbly request a pt. 2 in the future please? (also,, ive gone through the entirety of your blog too and its. so. good. while ive been chillin’ quarantinin’ reading your fics have been my very favourite thing to do!!) ♥️

Nonnie, you and @ohnomybreadsticks have both given me inspiration for more. It’s gone in a slightly different direction with the whole Wolf School in on the thing now. But, hopefully, you’ll enjoy this addition just as much. Best of luck with the quarantine! I’ll be posting stories fairly regularly for the foreseeable future which will hopefully keep you entertained and out of trouble!

The illiterate Geralt story can be found here.

Jaskier’s School of Self Care for Lost Wolves

It was a known fact that Jaskier loved too much and too freely. Sometimes, he even fell in love with those he hadn’t met but felt they needed love all the same. Which was how he ended up with emotions towards witchers he hadn’t met beyond Geralt occasionally letting a name slip. It wasn’t the same kind of love he held for Geralt, it wasn’t all consuming, he didn’t want to kiss the other witchers silly but it didn’t burn fiercely and involved a lot of throws and warm cuddles. Because, as Jaskier had helped Geralt work on his reading and writing, he realised something. None of the other witchers knew how to do that either. Which was how Jaskier ended up demanding he be allowed to go to Kaer Morhen with Geralt. He had a whole winter to remedy the mistakes their teachers had made. It wouldn’t magically make up for all the neglect but Jaskier would be damned if he didn’t try his best to slowly build scaffolding around and start the process of patching in the holes.

The journey back to the old keep was more hazardous than Jaskier had even dared imagine. It didn’t help that Geralt told him most witchers died on the path, either too naive and new on their way out or too tired or injured on the way back. That was utterly appalling and Jaskier was in half a mind to demand that a new path be devised to make sure all witchers could get home and get the care they needed. Even if Geralt insisted this was for the best, an injured witcher had no prospects after all. Rather than argue, Jaskier kept his mouth shut and began scheming.

There weren’t many witchers left, the school of the wolf was a dying breed but, along with Geralt, three other witchers returned and Jaskier was delighted. It seemed that the whole family was together again. Not that they acted like a family, more like a bunch of pissy cats trying to establish territories because they couldn’t figure out how to share and snuggle. That did disappoint Jaskier, he had a lot more work cut out for him than anticipated. Still, he could put the beginnings of his plan into play.

“What are you doing?” Lambert sounded so utterly offended when he came across Jaskier settled comfortably between Geralt’s legs, both of them stretched out on a fur in front of a fire. Jaskier was holding a book and Geralt was reading aloud in a low, rumbling voice.

“We’re enjoying a good story. Care to join us?”

Snarling, Lambert stalked out of the room and Jaskier shrugged. It was a start, even if it wasn’t an auspicious one. However, it set things into motion because not two days later, Eskel had approached Geralt in the kitchen, softly quizzing him on reading.

“I could teach you,” Jaskier volunteered as soon as he heard, deciding to ignore the wide eyed, almost sheepish look from Eskel.

That was how an hour was set aside each day where Jaskier sat with Eskel, leafing through well loved books that Geralt had used, sounding out words together. After the third time, they ended up with a secretive audience in the form of Lambert lurking just outside the door, listening in. In the end, Jaskier left a book in his usual hiding spot and waited for Lambert to come to him. It took longer than he had anticipated, Jaskier had been shooing Eskel out the room and hanging around to tidy up after their lessons for a good week before the book was thrown by his feet.

“Stop mocking me.” Lambert had his arms crossed defensively over his chest and was glaring in a way that would have sent bolts of fear through most people. Just as well that Jaskier wasn’t like most. He’d seen the posturing, the anger and lashing out in Geralt before, knew all too well what lay below it. With the greatest simplicity, he picked up the book and sat down, opening it and giving Lambert an expectant look. After a beat, the witcher sat down next to him.

That was three witchers on their way to literacy but something still bugged Jaskier. Thankfully, he didn’t have to say anything because Lambert took matters into his own hand. He had a book with him one breakfast, furiously trying to catch up with the other two and master ‘See Spot Run’ at record speed.

“Why did you never teach us to read?” he asked around a mouthful of eggs, greasy fingers leaving marks on the pages.

A silence descended on the table as eyes turned to Vesemir who, for the first time since they knew him, looked uncomfortable.

“It wasn’t needed,” he began. “A witcher can’t read a monster to death.”

Understanding dawned on Jaskier then and there. He put his fork aside and stood with an “oh you poor dear”. It was barely audible over Vesemir’s mumbled “I was just a fencing instructor.”

Walking around the table, he easily settled on Vesemir’s lap, ignoring all social conventions regarding touch. Looking up at the witcher, he smiled.

“It’s never too late to learn.”

Given the possessive nature of witchers, one would have expected Geralt to get jealous. However, he seemed content for Jaskier to do as he pleased, spending time with the other witchers. All too soon, all four of them were piled together on rugs and chairs around a fire and frowning over their respective books while Jaskier flitted between them, helping and encouraging where it was needed. It was obvious Lambert struggled the most, the letters dancing before his eyes and never quite settling which made him growl in frustration and his book often went flying across the room. Only once did it land in the fire.

“I’ve made a decision,” Jaskier announced during a quiet afternoon. “You’re all coming along wonderfully with reading and I have so much more to offer.”

Four witchers looked at him a little fearfully, wondering if they weren’t enough. They didn’t say anything as Jaskier walked out of the room but the sadness was palpable. Until Jaskier returned with his beloved lute.

“If anyone wants to learn any music, I’m happy to teach them.”

While reading was a chore for Lambert, he took to music like a duck to water when shown songs, able to replicate the chord sequences Jaskier showed him quite quickly. He had a special love of raunchy singing songs. The only sad thing was that there was only one lute or any kind of musical instrument in the whole of Kaer Morhen. Though Jaskier was more than happy to sing along to whatever tune Lambert was picking out. Soon, they had a whole repertoire of witcher drinking songs they would happily belt out while the others thumped the table in time with the beat.

By contrast, Eskel seemed content with the softer side of things. In fact, he had taken a real shine to sonnets and would often be found discussing them in depth with Jaskier. Occasionally, Geralt joined in but he didn’t find as much joy in dissecting whether the “sweet smell of faded summer” was in fact a statement about the passing of seasons or whether it was the soft lament of two lovers growing old.

“What are you doing?” Vesemir’s voice pulled Jaskier from his quiet introspection. It was early, the sun was barely poking out from behind the mountains but he was out in the courtyard with Geralt sat on a barrell and frowning into a book.

“Stretching,” Jaskier replied, sunnier than the weather. “I learned a series of movements to keep the body supple and the mind engaged. It helps me keep up with Geralt.”

The wink he sent Geralt’s way was enough to have him raising the book to hide his blush. While everybody knew what was going on between them, Geralt didn’t like to shamelessly advertise it. He was a private soul by nature.

“Come.” Jaskier beckoned Vesemir. “Let me show you.”

They worked through poses, Jaskier explaining a little about each of them. While they looked simple and easy, Vesemir was surprised to find that they gave the gentlest workout he had ever had. By the end, he was pleasantly tired but not in a way a training fight would have worn him out. It was, for want of a better word, rejuvenating. It had him as close to a smile as he usually got.

Over the course of the week, it went from Jaskier stretching in the courtyard while Geralt read to Jaskier and Vesemir. Until, silently, Eskel joined them one morning, standing next to Vesemir, a little nervous but a smile from Jaskier had him easing into the flow. The next morning, soft lute strums accompanied their exercises as Lambert sat opposite Geralt and his book, playing something gentle. The grateful look Jaskier shot him was enough to get him scowling, even if the music never stopped.

Spring was just around the corner. The witchers were all sat around the cleared dining room table with parchments in front of them, quills in hand. Eskel’s tongue was sticking out the corner of his mouth as he focused on his work.

“Just remember, this means you can keep in touch with each other. Enchanted crows can deliver your letters now.” Jaskier was playing soft music as the others perfected their penmanship. Well, all except Lambert who had taken to doodling, letters getting lost in the pictures. But that was okay, he could always draw his sentiments, the others would understand.

By the time it came to leaving Kaer Morhen, Jaskier was content and happy. He had four witchers who looked so much more self confident in their abilities. Because while he had kept their attention on the arts, it was inevitable that they all bonded. It wasn’t all that unusual to find at least two, if not three of them piling on top of each other with a book, getting lost in adventures they didn’t have to live through. Someone else’s struggles were so much more satisfying when the fear of death and failure didn’t hang above their heads.

Three witchers and a bard stood in the courtyard, horses loaded up as they prepared to leave on their respective paths. Only Vesemir stood in his usual attire and a soft smile creasing his face.

“Safe travels to you all,” he said, meeting the others’ eyes in turn.

“What will you do?” Eskel asked. “You usually accompany us at least some of the way.”

The smile turned into an excited grin and Vesemi gestured vaguely towards the keep. “My path for the year is one that is a tight circle. The library here needs some attention.”

Pride made Jaskier beam. He stepped forward and gave Vesemir a hug. “I expect many a wonderful tale from the library when we’re back next year.”

That sealed it. The next winter, they were all going to return with more stories. Eskel even kept a diary to share with Jaskier in case Geralt was stingy on his details for songs. And, when they all reconvened at the start of the next winter, Vesemir had tomes from the library ready to read stories from while Lambert turned up with his own lute on his back.

[thebibliomancer]

Song of the Dark Crystal liveblog pt 6

Song of the Dark Crystal by J.M. Lee because the quest is back on!

Last time in book: Kylan and Naia have joined forces with Rian to overthrow the Skeksis. Unfortunately, Kylan has also been declared a traitor by the Skeksis. The three decide to leave Stone-in-the-Wood immediately and pursue separate plans. Rian will go to the All-Maudra with the vial of Mira goo. Kylan and Naia will go find Aughra and try to alert all Gelflings to what the Skeksis are doing.

Chapter 6

The heroes make their way through the forest to the Black River. Kylan sings a Jarra-Jen story that gets Rian to open up.

The gang... is there a catchy name for the protagonists? Kylan’s crew? Anyway, they’re leaving Stone-in-the-Wood in the dark of the night because at least 2 out of 3 and probably 3 out of 3 are fugitives.

But more importantly:

“Best wishes!” Mythra said. “When I’m big, I’ll come and join you. I fear no lying Skeksis!”

Mythra is too powerful!

“Once you’re big enough to not be eaten in one gulp. Then I’ll welcome you.”

It was the first playful thing Kylan had heard the soldier say, and it was endearing.

It really is!

I love the dynamic between Rian and Mythra.

The three set off in RPG formation: Rian in the front, squishy Kylan in the middle, and Naia in the back. Kylan, in Kylan fashion, feels bad and tells himself he brings value to the party somehow, even if he doesn’t know how.

Best boy Kylan, you’re the best boy. But also: you came up with a great third option between Rian and Naia’s position last chapter. That’s something!

The group also starts discussing whether the Skeksis have been preying on the Gelfling for a long time. Kylan brings up the census, how the Skeksis come twice a year to record the number of Gelfling. Rian even darkly calls it a harvest.

“We count the peach-berry trees every spring, and pluck half the blossoms so they bloom in the summer. That way we know they will all bear fruit, and how many. Mother Aughra taught the Gelfling these things long ago, and we’ve performed the counting and plucking every year since the Age of Innocence... and yet we couldn’t see that the Skeksis were doing the same to our people in front of our very eyes.”

Naia said, “You’ve given this a lot of thought.”

“I’ve had a lot of time to consider.”

They wonder whether the Skeksis perform the census with the Dousan and the Grottan. Rian says that he’s only ever seen a single Dousan guard at the Castle and none from the Caves of Grot. He speculates that the Skeksis may have finished them off long ago without any one noticing.

Grim.

Kylan can’t help but contrast this grim Rian with the sentimental, kind Rian he saw in the dreamfast and also in his interactions with Mythra and Shoni.

Guy’s been through so much.

But Kylan has an idea! STORY TIME. Of course about Jarra-Jen, obvs.

Naia: “I could use a break from the stories of our real life.”

Mood.

Many songs of our lightning-born hero are known

From courage and cleverness are these stories grown

But no song is filled with such heartache and yen

As this one of the Dew-Tree and brave Jarra-Jen

Kylan sings the song of Jarra-Jen’s cool girlfriend Amiris of Darkwood, the Singer of Dew. She apparently personally applies the dew to every blade of grass, which is impressive.

Also, she had green hair. The Gelfling are anime people in this continuity apparently.

“Jarra-Jen loved Amiris, as a singer loves song” which is a good line. And they danced every night. They had a really good relationship.

Then Kaul, the Dark King of Sand, ruined the mood by Ganondorfing all over the happy times.

He kidnapped Amiris and took her to the dunes and demanded she make the desert green like Hyrule. Perhaps unsurprisingly, she couldn’t? Because of climate?

But Kaul was a dick about it.

So the King, at her failure, grew wrathful in spite

He took her out in the desert, upon sands hot and white

There he punished her, holding her face to the suns

“If I can’t have the Garden, then neither will no-one.”

Cool rhyme though.

On the fourth morning, Jarra-Jen finally found her but too late. ‘She wanted to cry but the tears had been burned out of her eyes’ amount of too late. She dying.

So she makes a magic seed pop out of her chest, as ya do.

Jarra-Jen pleaded and begged, cried for her not to go

She put the seed in his hand, bade him help it to grow

Then she melted to stardust. The wind took her away

Jarra-Jen left with the seedling on his loneliest day.

Dang, that’s sad.

Don’t you hate it when your gf melts into stardust after staring into the suns too long?

Jarra-Jen plants the seed like Amiris asked but it won’t grow because this is still the desert.

He called to the earth. He called to the sky

But nobody answered. The dew-seed would die

With no other hope, Jarra-Jen fell to his knees

And wept...

Bursting forth from the sands came an enormous tree

Brown of skin, strong of branch, and emerald of leaf

Its roots rippled the earth, its crown brushed the sky

And Jarra-Jen poured forth every last tear he could cry

I feeeeel like salt water wouldn’t be great for growing a tree but Jarra-Jen is a folk legend. This kind of thing is just what they do.

Anyway, Kylan finishes up the song. And I feel like this is the origin story of whatever the Patron Tree of the Dousan are. Huge magic tree in desert? Gotta be.

Naia helpfully tells the moral of the story to the audience. I mean, this is YA. And also, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t appreciate the cliff notes.

“I liked it,” she said. “I think it’s a good lesson... We will always face hard times, but it’s important to remember that our sadness can often be what becomes our strength. There’s no weakness in sorrow or grief.”

Rian says nothing about the story but he sniffs and wipes his cheek. He was moved.

Good song-telling, song-teller Kylan.

And what good timing, he finished the story right as they reach the Black River and it’s time to split up.

Hm. Earlier I joked about Naia having to go to Ha’rar after all the detours last book so its funny to me that she’s still not going. I wonder if she’ll ever go to Ha’rar.

Anyway, Rian gives them directions for how to find Aughra’s house from here.

Realizing that they may never see Rian again if something goes wrong, Kylan tells him that he’s not alone and “we may be strangers by blood, but we’re family in arms.”

Rian softens for them.

“I miss Gurjin and the others very much,” Rian confessed. “I don’t want to put anyone else in danger. Every night I dream of the Skeksis hunting me, killing anyone nearby. Gurjin, Mira, Mythra, Timtri, my mother... The only way I can rest is if I’m alone. Once the All-Maudra has been told, maybe I will stop looking over my shoulder, but until then... I couldn’t see you in danger when Gurjin died to protect us.”

=(

“I do trust you both, though. As I trusted Gurjin. I only fear that my sorrow will not be enough to grow anything.”

“Only if it’s salted with remorse,” Kylan said. “Good journey to you, Rian. We’ll meet again in Ha’rar, with help from Mother Aughra and stories of our adventures on the High Hill.”

=]

Rian floats away in a boat and with his last words as he disappears into the shadow warns Kylan and Naia to stay away from finger vines. Whatever those are!

After Rian disappears along the river and the other two Gelfling prepare a second boat, Naia compliments how on the nose the story choice was.

“That song of Jarra-Jen was really something,” Naia said ... “I think it really moved him. I wouldn’t mind meeting the song teller who wrote it. The song that soothed the soul of the boy who first saw the Skeksis betrayal!”

“You don’t have to wait to meet that song teller,” he said. “You already did, in Sami Thicket, when he was running away from home.”

“When he was...” Naia coughed in surprise as she put one and one together. Then she crowed with laughter. “You devil! You made it up just for Rian?”

AMAZING.

Kylan figured Rian wouldn’t listen if Kylan just straight up said the stuff about sorrow growing good things so he wrapped it in a story HE MADE UP ON THE SPOT INCLUDING RHYMES and sang it!

What a good song-teller.

And Rian thought wow this ancient story about a cultural folk hero hits me where I live.

Amazing.

I hope Rian passes that off as a real Jarra-Jen story and it gets spread around and becomes part of the accepted canon of Jarra-Jen adventures.

I wonder if there was already an Amiris and a story linking Jarra-Jen to the Patron Tree in the desert. How much Kylan was able to pick up from other stories to make his seem more legit.

“I don’t regret it one bit, Song Teller,” Naia said, as the opposite bank came into view in the dark. “Taking you along. I would have been a fool not to. I hope you know this as I know it.”

It was possibly the sweetest thing she’d ever said to him, and Kylan finally let out the smile he’d been holding back.

BEST FRIENDS.

[edda-blattfe]

Twisted Wonderland: Movie based headcanons pt.2

(This list is comprised of headcanons for the main villains based off of skills/habits/& personalities of their movie counterparts. This means that characters such as Ace Trappola, Ortho Shroud, Jack Howl, and Sebek Zigvolt (characters without a clear counterpart) will not be included. Characters based off of ones with little personal info may also not be included. Admittedly, I mainly used the Disney wiki to gather this info. Btw, did y’all know Jafar has a twin sister who’s also a necromancer? He was also supposed to have grown up on the streets, like Aladdin, but it was cut from the final film; I wish it hadn’t been, that’s a fantastic parallel!)

Jamil Viper:

- I hope y’all like sadistic psychopaths, ‘cause that’s Jamil in a nut shell. He appears calm and collected most of the time, making sure to sport a somewhat friendly smile in order to appear somewhat approachable to other students; never assume this means he’ll allow anyone to all over him, Kalim not included. Crossing this boy is a great way to end up in an “unfortunate accident” during practice or chemistry. It’s frightening how easy it is for him to cause such things without feeling even a smidge of guilt, but certainly effective.

- He holds a lot of resentment for Kalim and his family for subjugating the Viper line, making it difficult, if not impossible, for them to ascend beyond their current social class. Jamil aims to change that reality. He hungers for power and has found that it is attainable through his relationship with Kalim. The young aristocratic depends on his aid so much now that Jamil could probably do just about anything he wanted...in exchange for having to babysit Kamil 24/7.

- Actually a pretty punny person! Jamil has a witty, dare I say puntastic, sense of humor; you can tell he’s in a good mood by the amount of them he slips into a conversation. During magic tests he’ll say things like ,I’m just getting fired up,” before launching a fire based attack or, “I’ll just have to blow you away,” for an air one. Kalim finds puns cringey, but laughs just to humor his friend.

Vil Schoenheit:

- Manipulative af. When Vil wants something, he will get it, and is brilliant at convincing others to help him do so. Sometimes it’s through flattery, others, blackmail, and, most often, good old fashioned peer pressure. It’s not always used for the wrong reasons, mind you. If you were able to get him to a farmers market or some establishment where bargaining is still useful, he’d be very influential in getting you a good deal on any item.

- This one isn’t surprising in the least, but he thoroughly enjoys admiring himself in the mirror. In fact, he loves it so much that the Pomefiore dormitory is filled with mirrors. Hopefully the dorm windows never face the sun, otherwise anyone will be blinded by the brightness of the rays reflecting off the reflective surfaces.

- Vil is obsessively meticulous, and a little bit of a control freak. If something has a place it needs to be returned there after its use, failure to do so...well, it’s not pretty. His chemistry measurements are always precise and he’s always sure to read the fine print.

Idia Shroud:

- Idia is pyrokinetic, not to the level of being op though. His abilities have limitations when he’s not using a wand. Definitely has a leg up in fire based spells.

- He’s actually has a bit of a temper, but never shows it in public. Maybe if you demolish a computer in front of him....yeah, that might bring it out.

- Has three aunts; one remembers everything since the moment she was born, another acts like she knows exactly what everyone should be doing with their lives, and the last swears she can kill people just by cutting a piece of thread. Idia thinks they're all nuts and need to be institutionalized.

Leona Kingscholar:

- He loaths the song "It's a Small World" with a firey passion; sing it to him if you're craving a knuckle sandwich.

- Other than marital arts, he's a talented actor. Dude can convincingly fake cry and quote Shakespeare! Too bad Night Raven doesn't have a drama department....or do they? (Does the cafe have poetry night? Cause Leona would love that!)

Maleus Draconia:

- Has a pet crow back home named Damian. He cares more about that bird than most everyone else in his life. (Yeah, yeah, I know Crowley is probably based off of Diablo, but the damn bird is one of the few things villain Maleficent canonically cares about. Let the boy have his bird, damnit!)

- Mal has a habit of referring to his underclassmen as his "pets" along with many other demeaning nicknames.

- Look, the man is a sadist at heart. Why no one is taking advantage of this fact, I have no clue!

[emotionally-imbruised]

Can you write something about Harry sick at Christmas and he calls his sister's bff (YN) crying because his family isn't in the US for the holidays and he's alone and been sick all night and wants someone with him especially at Christmas and she comes over but doesn't know that he's had a crush on her for years (and vice versa)?

Slightly offended if you ever thought I wouldn’t write something that had the potential to be so damn fluffy… I changed it a teeny bit, and please don’t hate me for the ending *hides*

Accidentally In Love

Pt. 2

(Yes after that Counting Crows song from Shrek 2)

A low groan leaves your mouth as you struggle to push the front door of your apartment open. You’re juggling the multiple grocery bags you carry from last-minute shopping before everything closes up for Christmas tomorrow, and making a strong attempt to not drop any of it. You kick off your boots and begin shuffling across the floor towards your kitchen counter which luckily is nearby and just as you’re about to set the bags down—your cell phone starts ringing loudly from your jacket pocket; causing you to jump slightly, but enough to drop a couple of the bags. 

With a much louder groan, you dig your phone out to see the picture of your best friend’s brother smiling widely as he has his arm wrapped around you after he’d just finished messing up your hair; light up the screen. Which leaves you to be no less than confused by it, and even a little panicked as to why he is calling you on Christmas Eve. 

“Harry?” You ask into the phone as soon as you answer it; feeling your heart drop into the pit of the stomach when he doesn’t respond right away and only a few sniffles can be heard from his end of the call. “Oh my god, did something happen? Is everyone ok? Is it Gemma? Your mum?”

“No Y/N, m’just sick is all,” he explains and chuckles a bit before he’s overwhelmed with a series of raspy coughs. 

“Oh,” you reply monotonously as you reach to pick up the items you dropped; hearing a scoff from the youngest Styles.

“Sorry to disappoint,” he grumbles dramatically, and you roll your eyes. “Ok calm down with the attitude, I can basically hear you rolling your eyes from here.” 

“How did you- never mind,” you reply and start pulling your coat off to hang up on a nearby hook. “It’s Christmas Eve Harry, you had me worried that something happened to someone in my second family. Speaking of which, aren’t you in London with them?”

“Well I was,” he explains grumpily. “Had to come back here for a last-minute thing at the studio. Mum and Gemma were going to fly here instead, but the weather's a bit nasty back home, so their flight got canceled.”

“Ah shit, that sucks H I’m sorry,” you tell him honestly. “If it’s any consolation – I can’t get home to see my family until after the holidays, so I’m stuck in LA alone as well.”

“Well, that’s why I’m calling actually… Was gonna see if you’d like to come over and watch some Christmas movies or a rom-com instead of wallowing in self-pity about being alone for Christmas,” he proposes, and a smile begins tugging at your lips. 

“Is that why? Or is it because you’re sick and don’t know how to take care of yourself?”

“Ok… it’s a bit of both,” he confirms, and you let out a small laugh. “So, is that a yes?”

“Yeah, not like I have anything better to do,” you state, and hear him scoff again. “Oh, don’t get your silk Gucci pajama pants in a twist. I’ll be over in an hour.”

“Wow. Low blow,” Harry responds with a tone of fake hurt and sadness. “I’ll have you know these track pants I have on are quite different from the silk Gucci pajamas I could be wearing.”

“Whatever drama queen, I’ll see you in a bit.”

An hour later; once you’ve put your groceries away and gathered up snacks and some cold medicine, you make way across town to Harry’s home…  Spending time during the holidays with members of the Styles family is really no new thing to you. For years you’ve grown quite close to the family after developing a great friendship with Gemma. She and her entire family wasted no time in accepting you as one of their own; which has allowed you to form significant relationships with some pretty amazing people such as Harry, and their mother, Anne. They really have become a second family to you, and you wouldn’t trade any of it for the world. 

Soon enough, you’re making your way through the community Harry lives in and are not long pulling up the long driveway leading to his large home. Once you’ve parked, you make your way up the stairs only to be greeted by the man himself bundled up in a fluffy housecoat and holding a steaming mug of tea. “Wow, you’re really milking this whole being sick thing, yeah?”

“Hello to you too,” he grumbles as you brush past him before he shuts the door behind you. “M’starting to wonder why I called you of all people now.”

“It’s because I’m just such a blessing to have around innit?” You ask sarcastically, and he’s quick in rolling his eyes at you. With a smug grin, you hang your jacket onto a hook by the door before making a sharp left into the large living room; looking over your shoulder as Harry follows close after you. “Well, I was promised a rom-com marathon. So, let’s get this thing started then, shall we?”

Another few hours, and two rom-coms later; you find yourself curled up on the couch right next to Harry. Just as the final ten minutes of When Harry Met Sally begin – you slowly glance around at your surroundings and smile in contentment. The soft cream coloured blanket that is draped across yours, and Harry’s legs blend in with the matching coloured lights that cover the massive Christmas tree next to the window a couple of feet away. Christmas has never been anything you made a big fuss over; however, being here with Harry is making you have a bit more appreciation for the holiday as you mindlessly allow your head to gently lean against his shoulder and let out a pleasant sigh. 

He doesn’t flinch or move away from your gesture, and that causes the butterflies that have been collecting in your stomach from being so close to him; to begin swarming. Unfortunately, this is not an unfamiliar feeling to you – it’s actually a common notion you have whenever you’re around Harry but have decided not to act on out of fear it would make things weird if it were known you were crushing hard on not only a really good friend but also your best friends’ brother. 

Silence resumes between the two of you as the movie comes to an end, and neither of you makes a move to leave your current position. He doesn’t say anything as he slowly begins tracing circles over your hand that has delicately found its place upon his thigh, and your eyes slowly flutter up to glance at him. 

“Y’know,” he starts almost as if knowing exactly when your eyes landed on him and stifle a cough before continuing. “If Grimmy were to see us right now, he’d be losing his mind.”

“And why is that?” You question and begin rubbing your thumb over the material of his track pants; curious as to why the radio talk show host you’ve also become quite good friends with would be going off about your current predicament. 

“Well, he’s been saying for years now that it’s a miracle you and I haven’t at least hooked up,” he explains, and your heart-rate instantly picks up speed. You both fall silent again, and you’re the one to break it as you chuckle awkwardly as you begin inching away from him. 

“Too bad for Nick, because that literally could never happen,” you reply nervously, and brush a hand through your hair. Your gaze moves to his intense green eyes as they seem to be burning holes into you while he waits for you to continue. “Ever.”

“How come?”

“I don’t know… it’s us, Harry,” you state and motion between the growing space between the two of you. “You’re Gemma’s brother, also one of my best friends as well. It’s weird… I mean, sure I’ve thought about it, but that doesn’t mean it can happen. Gem would hate me.”

“Wait, you’ve thought about us hooking up?” He asks, and you feel your face instantly redden. 

“Well I- er, ok maybe,” you stammer, suddenly feeling more embarrassed than you ever have before. You bite down hard on your bottom lip as you continue feeling Harry's gaze burning into you, but try your best to shake it off. No point in dodging the facts and making things more awkward than they already are… right? “Guess that’s why they call it a crush right? It’s something that tends to literally crush you, regardless of how badly you try to ignore it. Pretty pathetic if I-. “

Your spiel gets cut short by Harry pressing his lips firmly against yours; his tongue desperately begging for access. The motion catches you entirely off guard, and you waste no time in pulling away to stare at him with wide eyes. As soon as you look at each other in complete and utter shock – it doesn’t take long before you’ve each moved closer and are pulling the other in so your lips can collide once again. 

The kiss is softer this time but soon deepens as his arms wrap around your waist and he pulls you in even closer to him. His lips eventually part from yours as he begins leaving slopping kisses along your jaw while making his way to your neck and starts sucking harshly on the sensitive skin. A low moan leaves your mouth, and you can feel him smirk against you as his hands continue roaming around your body. “M’gonna get sick because of you.”

“Seriously Y/N?” He questions with a groan and moves away to look at you, but you just smirk before leaning in to meet his lips again. The two of you continue making out as he pulls you in even closer so that you’re straddling his waist and begin tangling your hands into his curls before he starts mumbling against your lips. “Thought I had a bit of a crush as well, but I think it’s become a bit more than that.”

You smile at his words and can feel those butterflies in your stomach begin fluttering again as you pull away to stare into his captivating green orbs. Your bottom lip gets tugged nervously between your teeth as you shyly look away from him – but he soon has his hand under your chin so that your eyes are meeting his, and his thumb gently tugs your lip out from your teeth’s grip. His intense but affectionate gaze causes you to smile like a complete idiot before leaning in towards him for another kiss… however, just as your lips are about to connect; the front door swings open and in walk Anne and Gemma looking at the two of you with unreadable expressions. 

[thisspaceintentionallyleftblank]

Try, Try Again (pt. 4)

(Chapter 1) | (Chapter 2) | (Chapter 3)

Chapter 4 (3524 words)

Lucy was talking about something. She had been since shortly after they left the restaurant. Unfortunately, Rex hadn’t heard a single word that she'd said. At some point, she had taken his hand, and he had started having trouble focusing on her voice or pretty much anything else.

Her hand was cold, but the contact was still enough to make Rex’s palm sweat. It felt clammy and wrong in a way he couldn't describe. A large part of him wanted to squeeze his hand shut, hurting her just enough that she'd pull away, but a distant, objective part of his brain recognized that it wasn't a very “Emmet” thing to do. Currently, it was taking all his focus to remind himself of that fact.

Fortunately, a distraction soon appeared in the form of Benny floating down onto the street to greet them, with Metalbeard's head tucked into his arms.

“Hey guys!” He crowed. “You finally found each other, huh?”

“Yep,” Lucy replied amicably. “Thanks for your help earlier, by the way.”

Rex’s expression twisted in confusion as he turned to address Lucy. “Were you asking around about me?” A twinge of worry shot through him. He’d known that people would have seen Emmet this morning, but if they started prying then his cover story might be at risk.

Lucy didn't seem to notice his concern, too preoccupied with trying to hide her embarrassment over conspicuously worrying about Emmet.

“Uh,” she hastily replied, “I asked, like, a little…”

“It’s a tough world out there, Emmet.” Benny floated over towards the two, coming to rest on Rex’s other side. “We wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you.” The gentle grin on his face spoke to the genuineness of his sentiment.

“Ye gave us quite the scare there, Emmet.” Metalbeard piped up.

Rex laughed uncomfortably. “Well, I’ve got good news then. You guys won't have to worry about me anymore.” He jerked a thumb up towards his chest, and crooked his smile into a cocky smirk. “I’m tough now.”

For a moment, Metalbeard and Benny just stared at him.

“Oh!” They started to laugh. “That's a good one, Emmet!”

“Ye had me going there for but a second, ye scallywag.”

Rex froze. The muscles in his face and arms tensed uncomfortably. The red hot anger that had long been simmering in his chest felt like it was bubbling dangerously close to the surface. Deliberately, he forced himself to breathe through his gritted teeth, worried that if he tried anything more intensive, he would expose his ruse by moving or speaking too forcefully.  

Beside him still, Benny and Metalbeard looked as if they had expected him to join them in laughing, as if he'd deliberately said something funny. When he didn't, their own chuckles faltered.

“Guys,” Lucy said in a reprimanding tone. “Emmet has actually begun training in order to toughen up.” Her grip tightened on his hand. “He’s not joking.”

“Oh,” the spaceman blushed. “Sorry, Emmet.”

“It's just, ye never seemed the type.” Metalbeard muttered.

“But, um, good luck with your training!” With that, Benny launched himself and Metalbeard back up into the air, careening out of the now rather awkward situation.

Lucy watched them go for a moment, before turning towards Emmet with concern in her eyes.

“Are you ok?” She asked in a soft voice, placing her free hand on top of his, holding it captive.

“I’m fine,” Rex insisted, carefully maintaining his congenial grin. “But, um…” He shook his hand free from her grip. “Maybe we shouldn't hold hands. That way people can see that I really am tougher now.”

“Oh,” Lucy stammered, disappointment clear in her voice. “No, yeah, sure. That totally makes sense…”

She coughed awkwardly, lowering her gaze. “Um, anyways, I, uh, still need to meet up with Unikitty today. We’re going over modifications to our rocket launcher prototype.” Stealing a glance up at Rex, she continued hesitantly. “Would- Would you like to come with?”

Rex chuckled. “Shucks, how could I say no to that?”

With a relieved smile, Lucy started off back down the street. As they walked, she found herself surreptitiously looking over at Emmet. He did seem a little tougher, she had to admit, but he had also seemed really hurt earlier. Now, however, any evidence of that hurt had been erased, plastered over with his signature generic grin. He was looking around in a benignly curious way, watching the Apocalypseburg citizens mill about the busy streets.

As she watched him, he turned, abruptly meeting her eyes. Flustered, she flashed him an awkward smile, hoping that he hadn't noticed how she’d been staring. Emmet beamed back, before turning his attention towards the other pedestrians again. Lucy turned away too, but the smile didn't leave her lips. Emmet seemed fine, so obviously he was. If he was going through something, then he’d tell her. She was just… worrying over nothing, as usual.

A familiar note sounded next to her, and Lucy grimaced internally as Emmet began whistling the opening chords of Everything is Awesome.

She barely stifled a groan. Good ol’ Emmet, she thought. Ugh.

*******************

Fortunately, it wasn’t terribly far to Unikitty’s cat tower, only about one and a half renditions of the song. Unfortunately, that was still more than long enough to get the accursed thing irrevocably stuck in Lucy’s head.

Unikitty’s current home was an imposing silhouette. It rose up from the desert sands in a single, tall spire, with an array of overhanging balconies at various levels. Sharp spikes adorned the outer surface in intricate patterns, most of which seemed to originate from the imposing front door. Forged out of dark, metallic pieces, the door had no visible handle; instead, a long, tasseled cord hung inertly at its side.

With a sharp jerk of her arm, Lucy yanked the cord, eliciting a yowl from somewhere inside. After a moment, the door slid upwards, revealing Unikitty waiting behind it.

“Lucy! Emmet!” She exclaimed brightly. “Come on in!” Her expression shifted suddenly, rapidly growing angry. “Make sure you wipe your feet first,” she commanded, before her face relaxed and she stepped back inside.

“Hey Unikitty,” Lucy paused to wipe her feet on the mat as she walked in.  “Were you able to pick up those angle connectors we needed?”

“Oh yes,” Unikitty replied in a chipper voice. “There was an awfully rude alien that had their eye on them as well, but, uh,” she flexed her paw, revealing the sharp claws within. “It didn't take much to dissuade them.”

Lucy chuckled, and the two started moving out of the entryway. “I really think they’ll really improve the overall performance, but it'll be kind of a hassle to install them.”

Rex, who'd been momentarily distracted by deliberately wiping his feet as little as possible, suddenly saw an opportunity. “I can help,” he blurted out.

They looked back at him. “Oh Emmet,” Lucy said in a soothing voice. “Thank you, but it's ok, really. We've got this.”

“No wait,” Rex insisted. If he fixed their rocket launcher, and if he was being honest he knew he'd drastically improve it as well, then it'd be a great step in demonstrating his new skills. “I'm tough now, remember?”

Unikitty, looking mildly confused, glanced up towards Lucy for an explanation.

“Oh,” Lucy stammered. “He, uh, Emmet’s started working on being tougher, you see. But, um, Emmet? Maybe next time, ok?”

Rex knew that he shouldn’t push the issue. Acquiescence was a large part of Emmet’s character, especially when it came to Lucy. However, this feeling of impotence really, really did not sit well with him.  

“But, Lucy,” he started, frustration clear in his voice.

“Emmet,” Unikitty interrupted, “I know you just want to be helpful.” She trotted over to his side, placing a paw against his leg. “After all, you’re Emmet! And the Emmet that I know is the sweetest and most helpful-est guy.”

Bile rose in the back of Rex’s throat. You're wrong, he wanted to sneer. I'm not sweet. I’m not even Emmet, you stupid cat. I haven't been Emmet for a long time.

Unaware of his thoughts, Unikitty looked up at him with soft eyes. “But I think,” she continued in a quiet voice, “it's ok to not help, if it means forcing yourself to be someone you’re not. It’s ok to just be Emmet.”

Rex froze. That was… unexpected.

Unikitty smiled up at him. “We’ll see you in a bit.”

With that, she and Lucy proceeded out of the room, presumably heading back towards the workshop. Still taken aback, Rex didn't move to stop them.

Eventually however, he recovered from his momentary stupor and, with the realization that he'd been unceremoniously dismissed once again, his frustration returned with renewed vigor.

Irritated, Rex began pacing around the room, deliberately stomping his feet harder than necessary. How could he had ever lived like this, he wondered. How could he had ever considered these people, who simultaneously taunted his weakness and disregarded his attempts at improvement, to be his friends?

He hadn't expected this undercover mission to be quite this infuriating. He'd been expecting people to react like Emmet had, instantly recognizing him as someone tough and mature. Instead, no one had been able to really see him, their perception blocked by their preconceived notions of Emmet.

Absentmindedly, he pulled the radio out of his pocket, and fiddled with the various dials. A part of him wanted to turn it on, call Emmet up, and tell him “Don’t bother! Everyone will still treat you like a childish loser!”

One of the girls in the next room dropped something, and it clattered loudly against the ground. Suddenly aware again of their presence, Rex hastily stuffed the radio back into his pocket.

Tired of pacing, he flung himself onto Unikitty’s couch, kicking his dirty feet up onto the coffee table. He wondered what Emmet and the raptors were up to, wondered whether or not their mission was going well. A deep, hollow feeling opened up inside him as he thought about the Rexcelsior. He missed his ship. He missed his crew.

He missed his home.

His sulking was abruptly interrupted as Unikitty skipped back into the room. She started to speak, but fell silent momentarily as she noticed Rex’s morose expression.

“Emmet?” She asked with a gentle concern. “Are you ok?”

“Uh,” Rex fumbled momentarily to straighten out his posture and wrangle his expression into an appropriate facsimile of benign cheer. “Yes,” he answered. “I'm always ok!”

"Alright then,” she conceded, not sounding entirely convinced. “Anyways, I told Lucy I wanted to take a break and talk to you, if that’s alright.”

“Sure,” Rex responded amicably. “What did you want to talk about?”

“I was wondering how your house was coming along. If you needed any more pieces or anything like that.”

Rex paused. He’d forgotten that Emmet had already told Unikitty about that particular project. If she ever dropped by or tried keeping tabs on the place, then Rex would have to work a lot harder to keep up his disguise.

“It, uh,” he let his face fall into an exaggerated frown. “It got destroyed by the aliens.”

Unikitty face softened in sympathy. “Aw, Emmet, I'm sorry to hear that. I know how excited you were about it.”

She hesitated momentarily, her expression uncharacteristically glum.

“Emmet,” she finally said. “Could I… tell you something?”

Rex put on a sad but understanding smile. “Of course, Unikitty.”

“I’ve never really talked about it with anyone,” Unikitty started as she crawled up onto the couch next to him, “but, sometimes I really miss Cloud Cuckoo Land.”

She sniffed. “I know how you guys feel about the aliens. I know that it's hard to see your home destroyed over and over again, but…” She trailed off, lost for a moment in her thoughts.

“I think,” she finally continued, “in some way, Bricksburg is still there. Not just in the wasteland, but also here in Apocalypseburg. All of our buildings, our weapons, and our custom vehicles are built from Bricksburg’s pieces.”

“In a way,” she sniffled, “you all got to rebuild your home. It doesn't look the same, but a lot of stuff hasn't changed. People still work at the same jobs, live in the same homes, and shop at the same stores.”

She looked up at Rex, and he could see the shimmer of tears forming in her eyes. “I'm not trying to say that I don't like living here, but... sometimes it hurts to remember that I can never go home.”

Without thinking, Rex reached over to pat her head. She leaned into the touch. Her fur was much softer than he'd remembered.

“I try not to think about it,” she mewled, “because it doesn't make me angry. It just makes me sad, and a sad Unikitty isn't a very helpful Unikitty.”

“Do you...” Rex murmured. “Do you think that, if you could somehow go back, it would still feel like home?”

“What do you mean?”

“Because you're not the same person anymore.” Rex explained. He knew this line was questioning wasn't very Emmet-like, but a part of him was screaming to ask. “Does the you that you are now still have a place there?”

Unikitty didnt answer for a long moment.

“I don't know,” she finally admitted. “I don't think that I ’m the same person anymore, but I'm also not sure that it matters.”

“How can you say that?” Rex implored.

“Because Cloud Cuckoo Land was for everyone, no matter who they were. Even if I couldn't take my old place there, that doesn't mean that there’s no place for me.”

Rex let that thought sink in. It was truly a shame that Cloud Cuckoo Land had never been restored. Although, if it had, Rex might never have existed. In the end, he wasn't sure how comforting he found that thought.

“Emmet,” Unikitty broke the comfortable silence, and stretched herself out before meeting Rex’s gaze. “You're a really good friend. Thanks for listening to me.”

A good friend? Rex hadn't been trying to be friendly… All he’d done was say what had been on his mind, which is what he usually did.

Listening to others wasn't tough… No one in Apocalypseburg was ever emotionally vulnerable enough for that kind of thing. Rex panicked slightly. Was the Emmet act rubbing off on him?

No, he thought, No way.

Unikitty was just be saying that to be “polite”. She’d already called him “sweet” and “helpful” earlier, when he’d been neither of those things. So, it made sense that she’d offer him another benign compliment now.

Relieved, Rex fixed his face into an appropriately Emmet-esque smile. “Of course, Unikitty. You know I'm always happy to help!”

Unikitty beamed and started to say something else when Lucy walked back into the room.

“Unikitty?” She called from the doorway. “Benny just texted me. He says we've got a situation that could really use some Ultrakatty-style help.”

“On it, boss.” Unikitty leapt to the ground gracefully, her smile transforming into a more austere expression midway. “Emmet,” she turned back to address him. “You're welcome to stay here while we're gone.”

“Ah thanks, Unikitty, but uh,” Rex joculary gestured towards the door, “I've already got plans.”

“Okey-dokey then!” Unikitty stepped out of the room, but Lucy hung back for a moment.

“Hey, Emmet?” She asked in a soft voice. “Are we still on for tomorrow morning?”

“Ah, of course, Lucy! I wouldn’t dare skip out on my special best friend again.” Rex gritted his teeth at the thought of spending time alone with Lucy again.

“Awesome.” Her lips curled into a slight smile. She looked at him for a moment longer, as if she was deciding whether or not to say something more, then silently turned away and followed after Unikitty.

Once he heard the door slam shut behind her, Rex’s face fell into a deep scowl, his thoughts immediately returning to his earlier ruminatinations. The reception in this crudhole of a town was not like he'd expected. They'd all told him that they wanted him to be tougher, and now that he was? They laughed at him. They derided him. They called him sweet even.

His frustration gnawed at him. If his so-called friends couldn't even recognize how tough Rex was, disguise or no disguise, then the real Emmet didn't stand a chance.

He’d failed.

Rex shook his head, trying to dislodge the thought. This was just… a minor setback. And a minor setback could be compensated for. He'd just have to up the toughness a little. Then they'd have no choice but to believe him.

First however, Rex had some business to attend to.

*******************

The house was exactly where he'd remembered. The clean yellow walls stood out slightly from the desert sand, making it even easier for him to locate. A pile of disassembled monkey bars and toaster parts sat off to the side, clearly indicating that Emmet hadn't had the chance to finish the place yet.

And now, he never would.

Rex stepped onto the porch, casting a disdainful glance towards the double decker swing. He'd deliberately avoided implementing any double decker furniture on the Rexcelsior. Now that he was tough and mature, he could see how utterly stupid the idea really was.

His expression darkened at the thought, and he reached up, wrenching the porch swing down from its hanger. It clattered to the floor, and, as Rex proceeded to stomp on it, the metal frame distorted and screeched under his foot.

Just as he was about to turn his attention elsewhere, something in the mess caught his eye. Moving aside a few broken pieces, he pulled out a small white throw pillow. The embroidery on the front, which spelt out “E & L 4-Eva”, had a tear through it now, and some of the fluff had begun spilling out.  

Rex ran his thumb over the letters. He’d… forgotten about this. He hadn’t thought about it in years, but now, with the pillow in his hands, he could easily recall the nights he'd spent working on it, the hours he'd spent stitching each letter. He could remember how deeply he hoped that Lucy would like it.  

He dropped the pillow like it had burned him. Anger flashed across his face and he stomped on it. When it simply gave underfoot, he snatched it back up, ripping it in half and scattering stuffing everywhere.

He was not Emmet anymore. Emmet’s things and Emmet’s memories meant nothing to him anymore. He had learned the truth of the universe and hardened his heart accordingly.

And now, he had the opportunity to prove it to himself.

As the day had progressed, he’d felt an itch building up underneath his skin. It was a itch that could only be scratched by destroying something. It was the need to smash things, to throw them and shatter them, to reduce them to pieces.

Giving into this need, giving into his anger always felt good. It filled his chest with warmth, making him feel powerful and complete. Compared to the hollowness he felt more frequently than he would ever admit, it was a welcome change.

With an animalistic roar, Rex smacked his fist into the side of the house. The wall splintered at his touch. He hit it again, and it crumbled further. Over and over, he slammed his knuckles into the quaint abode until it had been reduced to unrecognizable rubble.

Taking a deep shuddery breath, Rex stopped to take in the sight. Slowly, the fire in his chest waned to a low smolder. He felt tired, but good. It was like feeling sore after a workout or long run. Running a hand through his hair, the sweat caused the hair clump together, falling across his forehead in familiar swoops.

It was late now. The sun had finally started sinking below the horizon, and the air was growing chilly. It felt nice, compared to the stifling heat of the day. Rex started walking away from the ruined house, back towards Apocalypseburg. He'd been planning to stay in the house overnight, like Emmet had in the original timeline, but clearly that was no longer an option.

As he walked, he thought about where he could feasibly go. None of Emmet’s friends would turn him away, but the thought of spending more time with any of them, especially Lucy, made his stomach curdle.

As he reached the edge of town, he found himself at the base of the Statue of Un-Liberty. As always, she stared into the distance with impassive eyes, silently watching the night fall.

Climbing the statue was easier than he’d expected, as if the path was still embedded somewhere in his muscle memory. When he reached the torch platform, he looked out at the empty streets below him and the star-filled sky above. Somewhere up there the Rexcelsior continued its mission without him. Somewhere further still was the Stairgate, and the accursed Systar System. Rex laid on his back, still watching the heavens. He let his mind wander now, wondering about Emmet and his plan in general, until eventually, he drifted to sleep.

[anthonyisright]

Rolling Stones Albums, Rated, pt. 1

Aggressively subjective rating scale explained here. I’m only reviewing the American discography, as I’m more likely to wander across these track orders in a used record bin.

England’s Newest Hitmakers (1964) 8 12X5 (1964) 7 The Rolling Stones, Now! (1965) 8 Out Of Our Heads (1965) 7 December’s Children (And Everybody’s) (1965) 7 Big Hits (High Tide And Green Grass) (1966) 8 Aftermath (1966) 7 Got Live If You Want It! (1966) 5 Between The Buttons (1967) 6 Flowers (1967) 7 Their Satanic Majesties Request (1967) 7 Beggars Banquet (1968) 9 Through The Past, Darkly (Big Hits, Vol. 2) (1969) 8 Let It Bleed (1969) 9 Get Yer Ya-Ya’s Out! (1970) 6 Sticky Fingers (1971) 6 Hot Rocks 1964-1971 (1971) 6 More Hot Rocks (Big Hits & Fazed Cookies) (1972) 6 Exile On Main St (1972) 9 Goats Head Soup (1973) 5

The Rolling Stones were five kids from outside London who would mail-order albums from Chicago, play the songs at clubs, get paid and buy more. Though hard-R&B purists compared to those four kids from Liverpool, they still had cute outfits, cute haircuts and you could still dance to them. Mick Jagger, singer, was hammier and more openly erotic than any of the Beatles. Keith Richards, rhythm guitarist, was cooler. Brian Jones, lead guitarist, was also cooler (and blond). England’s Newest Hitmakers! captures their early enthusiasm, save for “Tell Me,” a juvenile original attempt at balladry that’s an eye-rolling minute longer than everything else on here (it was also their first US Top 40). 12x5 features covers both more definitive (“Time Is On My Side,” “It’s All Over Now”) and less (“Under The Boardwalk”). Now! is the party band’s last stand, as scathing, self-penned singles like “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction” and “Get Off Of My Cloud” began to critically & commercially outshine their co-opts from the black hit parade. Big Hits (High Tides And Green Grass) pulls together their most potent early originals and covers, “Tell Me” buried at the bottom of side one.

Aftermath is considered a major breakthrough due to Mick & Keith writing all the material and Brian experimenting with sitars & marimbas and shit. Maybe if Mick wasn’t curious to see how much shit he could talk about women without cutting into his sex life (answer: a LOT), I might be more forgiving of the filler and trend-hopping. Got Live If You Want It! is indeed a live album if you want it. The high-strung Between The Buttons announces that they’ve heard Bob Dylan and taken LSD, but the best song is one of two jagged hops about words that rhyme with “shun.” Flowers, a grab-bag of UK album tracks and outtakes, is about as (in)consistent as anything else from this time, flinging from acoustic explorations of post-adolescent ennui like “Sittin On A Fence” to a humiliating cover of “My Girl.” The psychedelic carnival Their Satanic Majesty’s Request isn’t particularly worse than the preceding albums, but between the mounds of mellotron, insipid jams and bassist Bill Wyman getting past security for a song of his own, it was undeniable that the Stones were now following rather than leading.

Fixing that were producer/groove pocket enthusiast Jimmy Miller and Keith Richards, multi-tracking his strums and slides to new heights as Brian Jones slowly marimbas off the scene (and soon the planet). Mick Jagger is still a self-impressed shithead on Beggars Banquet, but the fuller sound inspires richer fantasies; his meta-Dylan epics, hillbilly jokes and cocksman crowing achieve a grandeur both Dionysian and well-read. Through The Past, Darkly (Big Hits Vol. 2) culls the better moments building up to this breakthrough and adds “Jumpin Jack Flash,” the droning strut of a single that announced their de-flowering. I wish the chronology wasn’t so muddled (the ’68 lightbulb keeps flicking on and off), but the US version at least sticks to ’66 and later, cutting the UK’s ’64 Arthur Alexander cover. If I have to hear “Ruby Tuesday” - a moony pixie dream mourning that makes me respect “Sweet Caroline” by default (no flute!) - this is where I’ll do it.

Let It Bleed confirms the Beggars sound as the new normal. Mick preens over the twang and chug, throwing doomsday and decadence in our faces with a giddy confidence that shook Don McLean and anyone else who remembered the Crickets. Flaunting their racial & sexual privilege, reveling in roots that weren’t really theirs, Bleed is blues-based “rock” at its best and worst, demanding you give them their due or dismiss the genre entirely. I’m docking it a point because life could still lead me to the latter option (Trump plays this shit at rallies, after all). Get Yer Ya-Yas Out!, released after the tragic shitshow that was the Altamont free festival and initially loaded with related import, is now another live album if you want it.

Everyone has their own bridge too far with these jerks - I won’t pretend to know objectively when the irony and indulgence goes from audaciously gauche to merely gross. But Mick J’s slavedriver metaphors cross my personal line on Sticky Fingers’ opening song, and new hire Mick T’s Santana-esque soloing crosses it on the longest. The rest is good-to-great blues-based arena rock, the weathered stars determined to push forth despite the horrors of Altamont and Allan Klein (the ex-manager who somehow got the rights to their entire sixties catalog as a parting gift). Toss the jam and change the “Brown Sugar” lyrics - as Mick does live - and it’s *all* good-to-great blues-based arena rock. But even without those bummers, it’d be hard for me to get too excited about the Stones pushing forth with blues-based arena rock - that’s a cheap commodity today. I wish the languid anthem “Sway” was an A-side compilation staple, though.

(Speaking of compilations, Hot Rocks is a popular sum-up of the era they accidentally sold to Klein, too succinct at 21 songs. More Hot Rocks tries to fill in the cracks with two dozen or so more, including a side’s worth of early obscurities. It’s more charming but still superfluous.)

Sticky Fingers set a template they could follow until…well, we’re still waiting to find out. Thankfully, they were initially too zonked to stick to it. Instead, these nodding tax evaders and their pals jammed and tracked and jammed and tracked in a French castle, each song’s line-up depending on who could make it in that day, with yet more overdubs thrown atop in LA. Exile On Main St. is a mix of diamond and rough they’d never be able to recreate - not the least because Jagger doesn’t get what the big deal is with this samey-sounding jamboree. I too prefer my classics short, hit-packed and sweet, but this is four luxurious sides of the Stonesiest Stones that ever Stoned: a shining swamp of sound, rich lyrical detail peeking out under the groove. Long, low on hits, but it’s hard to beat in the sweet department. 

Despite the relative anti-hype, Goats Head Soup isn’t a rebuke of the Exile aesthetic so much as an attempt by Mick to give its jammy warmth a little focus (plus a hit ballad about another girl they’re gonna miss). The subtly banal outcome doesn’t throw the baby out with the bathwater, so much as make one ponder the magic in that bathwater. Plenty of Americans went crazy for the ballad, and some fans still get excited about the album’s coda, where they finally say “fuck” a lot. Coming up in pt. 2: I decide whether I can give an 8 to an album with “Far Away Eyes” on it.

[c-kiddo]

I started listening to Mount Eerie thanks to your posting and, god, jesus. I just listened through A Crow Looked at Me and I'm making my way up through the albums after that, and then will go back to listen to the older stuff (and eventually branch off to the Microphones). It's immediately become one of the best things I've ever had enter my life. Incredible. Thank you, thank you

oh man, brutal heartbreaking painful place to start but also. .yea. its also a masterpiece i think . soria moria especially absolutely floors me every single time. hope you enjoy Now Only , i love that one a lot. i listen to it so so much. so much good stuff on there too, its sort of lighter and airier but still heartbreaking too (the second half of Earth comes to mind) , but ye . love that one and the long songs on it (Two Paintings By Nikolai Astrup especially i've listened to a lot) and tintin in tibet and all of them i guess. some rly nice stuff on Lost Wisdom pt.2 also :'''' ) i keep thinking about this bit from Real Lost Wisdom

actually all the lyrics from that song rly get me right in the chest.. i keep thinking about it + it keeps playing in my head on its own. i also really like When I walk out of the museum , and also Widows. his duet albums with julie doiron are just rly good. Lost Wisdom is amazing i love it sooo much. one of my faves of his , its an earlier mount eerie one so you'll get there soonish i think ?

but anyway , im so glad you listened to his music and connected with it and everything else :'' ) hope u enjoy the rest !!!

[samdukewieland]

Stuck Inside Media Diary Week 2

New week. New movies I had never seen before. Only one was on the DVR so now it’s just like a glorified streaming guide and for that I apologize. There were three movies this week that I had seen before, but I’ve decided, because rules are important, that I won’t re-watch a movie until I watch a new one. Does this matter? No. But it has made me realize that I might be exposing my ass in the upcoming weeks, because we all lie about saying we’ve seen some movies when we actually haven’t. Not the case for this week, but it’s impending.

Sunday, March 29

Warrior, O’Conner 2011 [as of now this is available on Amazon Prime]

As a person who doesn’t really care about MMA or UFC or boxing or bum fights or bare knuckle brawls I went in under the impression that there’d probably be some kind of barrier in my way of enjoying it, despite knowing its esteemed reputation for being man-weep canon. Any movie that opens and closes with a song by The National is fairly transparent about the type of movie its going to be, despite having an extremely yolked Tom Hardy as one of the main characters. My first cry came at a very unexpected moment, especially because Frank Grillo had a significant role in making that happen (though I will say, I had no idea Frank Grillo was in this movie and about midway through I thought “man, that guy kinda looks like Grillo, but he’s kinda small and has a fashion mullet”). However, I’m a cryer, so I don’t want to set the expectation of you will cry at this you piece of shit! but you might and it’ll come out of a good place, because this movie doesn’t trick you into crying by manipulating you into it (okay, it does at one point, but it involves Moby Dick, so again, it’s kinda unexpected). It opens with “Start A War” and ends with “About Today,” a top 5 sad boy song by The National and I’ll be damned if I didn’t listen to it once a day all last week.

Better Call Saul 

“Sunk Costs”, “Sabrosito”, “Chicanery”, “Off Brand”, “Expanses”

John Getz hive, assemble.

Monday, March 30

Working Girl, Nichols 1988 [as of now this is available on HBO]

Sometime in college, I think in a detective fiction class I took, we talked about knowing a reference to something before knowing what it’s either paying homage to or directly referencing. For example: the first time I read The Long Halloween (which is a Batman comic by Jeph Loeb) I had no idea that basically everything involving Falcone is just ripped from The Godfather, because I had never seen The Godfather at that time in my life; literally the first page of the book is “I believe in Gotham City.” Or in Django Unchained when they go to Mississippi and the title card moves across the screen just like it does in Gone With The Wind (Tarantino movies are generally just long homages and references to other things, so if you need another example, just look to really anything he’s ever worked on). There’s probably a German word for this feeling of recognition and I just don’t have the energy to look to see what it would be, but I felt it while watching Working Girl in two regards. 

The first was that I didn’t realize that School Of Rock is essentially just Working Girl and when you have a realization like this, you feel kinda dumb, because you just assume everyone figured this out before you did. The second was that Joe Swanberg has tried to model his movies after Mike Nichols ones like his life depended on it and he just can’t or rather hasn’t. Also I’m not a person who was alive in the 80s and I’m sure there’s some modern day equivalent (potentially her daughter) who I defend out of some weird sense of contrarian obligation, but what’s uh, what’s going on with Melanie Griffith and her as actor?

Better Call Saul 

“Slip”, “Fall”, “Lantern” [Season 3 finale]

BCS season 3 really stepped up to the heights of Breaking Bad and I think I might like it just a little bit better than it? I haven’t watched Breaking Bad in long time, I find it pretty difficult to re-watch (it’s very fire works factory for me) so I’m sure there are some BB highs that I just don’t remember fully, but that BCS can juggle being three different shows all at the same time and do it excellently really has me taken aback. It’s like watching the Coen Brothers jump from genre to genre and not be worried about the end result.

Tuesday, March 31

Say Anything..., Crowe 1989 [as of now this is available on Hulu]

I’m unabashedly in the can for Cameron Crowe, which is a semi-embarrassing thing to admit, but whatever. I saw Aloha in theatres and watched We Bought A Zoo when it was on FX once (in real time too, so that means with commercials-this was also the only time I’ve seen We Bought A Zoo, but I think I’d do it again); you can’t hurt me. I think I kept my distance from Say Anything... for so long, because it was one of those things that I’d be annoyed at because it’d resonate with me too much, because feeling that is kinda hacky and embarrassing, but if there’s one thing that Cameron Crowe movies put an emphasis on of importance on, it’s being sincere. And I sincerely loved it (hot, HOT take). Thanks to Russillo for recommending it on Simmons’ podcast last week.

Better Call Saul

“Smoke” [Season 4 premiere]

Wednesday, April 1

The Graduate, Nichols 1967 [as of now this is available on Amazon Prime]

Sucks that this movie has been used by a certain type of dude who use it as a blueprint for their life and how they view relationships. Other than that, good job everyone. [I definitely thought it would be clever to watch this after watching Say Anything... because I just assumed Ben Braddock walked so Lloyd Dobbler could run-I was kinda right, whatever]

Hot Rod, Schaffer 2007

While April Fools Day means nothing to me I do try to watch a comedy on the day, because...eh, why not. Hot Rod is maybe a perfect comedy and I think I could spend hours talking about it. I don’t know how there hasn’t been some kind of programming that’s been done around The Lonely Island and their catalog, because it seems very obvious. 

Hot Rod with Digital Shorts played before and after and then Wayne’s World

MacGruber and you play MacGruber shorts before and after and then whatever grotesque 80′s action movie you’d want, maybe Commando

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping with Lonely Island music videos before and after and then This Is Spinal Tap

The Unauthorized Bash Brothers Experience sing-a-long followed by The Lonely Island pilot and  either a collection or the entirety of I Think You Should Leave

maybe this is all a lead-up to Palm Springs, a movie I have’t seen and know very little about other than they produced it and Samberg is in it

Thursday, April 2

The In-Laws, Hiller 1979

I wrote it as my letterboxd. “review” , but this thing’s 1979 funny until they go to South America and then it is actually funny. Falk is just gangbusters.

Better Call Saul 

“Breathe”, “Something Beautiful”

Friday, April 3

You Can Count On Me, Lonergan 2000 [as of now this is available on Amazon Prime]

I say this as a very big fan of his, but! Timothée Chalamet, consider yerself on notice for borrowing heavily from the Mark Ruffalo school of acting. Also, I get it now with Laura Linney, who I’ve liked before, but thought she might kind of be overrated by some people. Also, Matthew Broderick made this after Election (and also Inspector Gadget), so quite the infidelity streak for Brody, probably not a double feature.

Better Call Saul

“Talk”, “Quite A Ride”, “Piñata”

Saturday, April 4

De Palma, Baumbach & Paltrow, 2015 [as of now this is available on Netflix]

The definitive documentaries for the directors of this friend group are basically perfect in their own ways. That this is just De Palma talking about himself and his career and movies, sometimes being incredibly critical of his own work and others. He seems pretty self-aware, probably the most of that group of directors, while still coming across as incredibly cocky. De Palma is perfect for Brian De Palma. However, if anyone wanted to make a 10 hour documentary on Scorsese, Spielberg, Coppola, De Palma and Lucas in this style or it’s just the 5 of them interviewing each other moderated by like Fincher or someone, man....I could really go for that. (I mean if Michael Jordan can get one, why not these guys?)

The Other Director Documentaries

Spielberg, 2017 (HBO) [Interviews and retrospectives about Spielberg’s career, with personal highlights. It’s essentially Spielberg in a nutshell: big, flashy with a lot of time on particular moments that are more important to him than they are to you]

Empire Of Dreams, 2004 (Disney+) [Ostensively this is about Star Wars, and it’s made by a company-man, it says so much about Lucas, a man who hated how institutions told him what he could do so he unintentionally created one that has copied what he hates]

Heart Of Darkness: A Filmmaker’s Apocalypse, 1991 [A truly wild ride, tells you everything you need to know about Coppola]

Italianamerican, 1974 [While a new documentary about Scorsese is probably what I covet most, he’s a pretty open book about his controversies and he’d probably enjoy talking about other people’s work more than his own-catholicism’s a helluva thing]

The Godfather Pt. I & The Godfather Pt. II, Coppola 1972 & 1974

I don’t know if I necessarily endorse watching both of these back-to-back; I guess I’m glad I did it, even if the motivation was mainly to just see if I could. Obviously these movies are important and good and are about so much more than just gangsters and thugs, but a lot of the time it just feels like eating vegetables for me. I did not grow up in a household that emphasized the importance of The Godfather so maybe that’s part of it, but I’m definitely not as dismissive of these as I used to be (though part of that could be the mental Stockholm Syndrome Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan and Sean Fennessey have given me). Once I finished Pt. I, I felt like I could re-watch it; once I finished Pt. II I felt like my eyes were melting out of my head and onto my hands (this could be because I had just watched 377 minutes of a story). I will probably never do it again, unless it’s the weekend after Christmas and AMC is just going for it-at least then I’ll have intermissions every 20 or so minutes telling me to go shop at Target.

[joyfullynervouscreator]

Nori’s little secret pt 3

Imagine Nori being attracted to you instantly because like him, you too have a bizarre hairstyle. Imagine calling Nori “Starfish” because of his hair and him not minding it.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 4

Part 5

word count: 1113

Nori had gone to speak with Dori, even if you didn’t know what he’d say to soothe his brother’s hurt feelings. Dori loved him, you knew, and Nori loved Dori too, but sometimes it was easier for the both of them to love each other from apart.

“How did you even meet Lady Brynhilda, Nori? Her adad is the Blacklock envoy, Mahal’s Beard, that’s not the circles you travel!” Dori moaned, more than a little pale. Nori didn’t want to know what kind of sordid circumstances Dori was envisioning to put that look on his face.

…

The first time he saw her, Nori noticed the hair first. She was tall, for a Dwarf, though not as tall as Dwalin. The hair, however, oh, Maker, the hair. Almost a foot tall – twice the height of his own peakiest peak, in fact and he wondered how – it rose in a spire, a tower made of spiralling braids and twists, like a conch shell. The colour was a deep brown with reddish highlights, and held with silver clasps decorated with shiny mother-of-pearl slivers. A connoisseur of pretty baubles, Nori realised quite quickly that the silver was actual silver, and the chain and pendant around her neck were also silver, a pretty thing for a pretty lady. Her beard was braided skilfully, an elaborate weave he thought even Dori would approve of; all in all, the dam looked like a noble lady. Her eyes were an almost purple colour, Nori thought, peering closely at her face as he passed her. He smiled, pleased when she smiled back. Less pleased when her fingers stopped him stealing her money, of course, but she simply wagged a finger at him, mouthing an amused ‘no, no’. Nori smirked. Instead of money – and he didn’t quite know why he did it, except that it seemed like the thing to do – he stole a kiss from her lips. In her surprise, she let go of his hand and with a final smirk, Nori was gone.

…

“Did you know Nori was your One from the beginning?” Ori, the romantic soul, asked. You laughed.

“No, I thought he was the cheekiest dwarf I’d ever met, completely brazen, and I ought to have called the guard on him!” you exclaimed, launching into the story of your first real kiss.

…

Cheeky dwarf, you thought, staring after the distinctive hair peaks of the dwarf who had just kissed you. Touching your lips, you wondered why you hadn’t cried out, not even when he attempted to lift your second money pouch – it was filled with nothing more than pebbles and a few coppers; not where you kept your real currency. It was a nice kiss, you thought, surprising yourself. The dwarf was a thief at best, you shouldn’t want to kiss him. Shaking your head, you continued to wander through the small marketplace, though none of the wares on offer caught your attention, your thoughts replaying the auburn-haired dwarf’s smirk over and over.

…

“See, I knew you always fancied me,” Nori whispered in your ear, pressing a kiss to your cheek from behind and interrupting the story. “Of course, we didn’t properly meet until a few years later, when Bryn here was slumming it in the Woolly Bear,” he added philosophically. Kíli was now staring wide-eyed at you. He and Fíli had never even been allowed near the Woolly Bear, and you were the daughter of foreign nobility. He tended to forget that you had arrived in Thorinuldûm only a decade before Fíli was born, when you were almost 50 years old.

“I think you’ll find that you were the one who fancied me,” you countered hotly, making him laugh and kiss you again, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as he nudged Ori down the bench.

“Oh, aye, raklûna, but then I never denied that!” He crowed, dodging when you swatted half-heartedly at him. “And now I don’t have to hide when I kiss you!” Clearly, he had mended fences with Dori somehow, you thought, allowing him to kiss you more passionately than he would have otherwise done in front of Ori.

“So, you went to the Woolly Bear,” Kíli prodded, slightly envious. You nodded.

“Yes, I was just turned 79 by then, a decade past my coming of age, actually, and I fancied a drink.”

…

You had no need to work in Thorinuldûm, being supported generously by King Ranvé of the Orocarni along with your parents, but you had been schooled in diplomacy since before you could walk, knowing that one day the task of being your King’s envoy somewhere would fall to you as it had done your adad and his amad before him, back through the years of your line. That did not mean you did not find trade negotiations terribly annoying, though immensely satisfying when they managed to be resolved, and utterly exhausting at times. Enjoying the freedom of an adult still, even years after coming of age, you decided to visit a tavern you’d heard of in the less affluent part of town. The Woolly Bear was said to be the birthplace for many a new song, and you’d actually considered it a reward for slogging through the meeting with Balin all day.

You spotted the hair from the door, the cheeky dwarf from the marketplace sitting across the taproom, nursing a tankard, but looking like he had come alone. Even years after your first meeting, you recognised the peaks of his hair. Some sort of mischievous streak made you cross the floor, waving for a drink from the blonde barmaid.

“Evening, Mister Starfish,” you greeted, sitting down next to the dwarf, who stiffened for a moment but then laughed. “Not out kissing young ladies tonight?” you continued cheekily, when he turned and recognised you. Returning your cheek with a grin of his own, he gave you a seated bow.

“I like it, Mistress Spire,” he replied, winking cheekily at you. You lifted your tankard in greeting.

That night, you spent hours talking to him, continuing to refer to him only as Starfish.

It was more than a year later that you actually learned his name, and by then he had already stolen his way into your life, becoming one of your best friends in your new home.

Adad wasn’t best pleased that you’d made friends with a thief, but Amad convinced him to allow you to continue spending time with Nori, claiming it could only be good for their studious and somewhat sheltered daughter to see a bit of real life. Eventually, the new Blacklock envoy had caved under the combined onslaught of his wife and daughter.

[bwwrites]

2019 Music

This list is incomplete, all lists are incomplete. But it’s a list of things that have stuck with me in 2019. There’s some recency bias, there’s some laziness on my part, but more than anything, it was a year where I just….. kinda listened weird.

My listening was often pragmatic. Fitting a mood, or background to other things, or rising and falling with my rising and falling depression and anxiety. (And if I’m being honest I really just listened to like, an unconscionable amount of Friends at the Table instead of music most of the year.)  So if stuff is below it’s because I either listened to it a lot, or listened to it not that often but adored it when I did, or you know, just found it super interesting. I make no claims to this being a best of 2019, this is just stuff I wanted to write about, primarily.

It’s two lists, top ten and ten more that I loved. Across it all I wrote too much, a lot of it tangential. Who even knows who this is for! (It’s for me, that’s who it’s for.) None of it is ordered, except for the clear number one, 1000 gecs by 100 gecs.  It is AOTY and they are a pop band, fuck off all you people who put that record in experimental lists, cowards. Anyway, enjoy too many words!

Top Ten

Mount Eerie w/ Julie Doiron - Lost Wisdom pt 2

I’ve loved Julie Doiron’s solo stuff for years and years and years. Seeing her live in Bloomington and overpaying her by one dollar for record is a story I told for awhile, in the form of oh Julie Doiron? Yeah, she owes me a dollar. Mount Eerie I’ve had a rockier time with. I liked The Microphones but never got it the way so many friends did, and have always enjoyed Mount Eerie when I’ve listened, but I’ve never been the person who thinks to pull them out when it’s time for a record.

That sort of changed with the first Lost Wisdom. I listened to that record so much when it came out. The best parts of Phil’s work were highlighted and augmented by Julie’s voice, and some of those songs still make me teary every time I hear them. And it was my entrance into really digging into Mount Eerie and falling in love.

Lost Wisdom Pt 2 is different, even while it’s sort of the same. It feels like more of a Phil record than the first, and it’s Phil in the post A Crow Looked at Me era, where his poetry has fallen away in favor of brutality. His lyrics are clear, direct, at times poetic, and often beautiful, but the beauty is raw. I love it. Their voices are still a perfect match, weaving in and out. Seeing it live was a revelation. It took it from something I liked, but worried was maybe less than the first one, and made it its equal. They are different records in some ways, but for the end of 2019, Lost Wisdom Pt 2 made perfect sense to me.

It’s good, you should buy it.

100 gecs - 1000 gecs (Album of the Year)

What if two delightful humans born 15 years after me loved nightcore, emo, screamo, trap, and, I don’t know, literally everything else(?), made a record on computers. What if? That is 100 gecs. A lot of people ended up loving this record which was a great surprise, because I initially filed it away as another thing I will freak out over that everyone will mostly hate, but these two have created something hyperkinetic and somehow both deep and shallow all at the same time. There is no greater meaning to a song about betting your money on a stupid horse and then losing all that money and then maybe.. sleeping with the horse? Or at least going home with it and smoking it out. But also, that song is a ska song, inexplicably, and that’s FASCINATING and an interesting artistic choice. So there’s no greater meaning, but it’s clear there’s SOMETHING there, you know? Even if the SOMETHING is simply a desire to kinda just fuck shit up. These two are making artistic choices, and it’s easy to wave that away, to treat this the same way people mostly treat nightcore at this point, as a good joke on the internet. But after getting up to 50 plays on this record in like a month I am convinced that it operates on both (hell, maybe every) level.

And all that said, that’s mostly for YOU the reader. Because honestly, none of that articulates why I love this record so much, and I really love it a lot. The energy isn’t positive exactly, but THEY are, and the energy IS infectious if you’re open to the hyper mood they inhabit. And it’s not some high-concept appreciation of how they’re exploding pop, it’s really just that when I hear these songs I instinctively sing along, and when I saw them live at The Hulu Theater at Madison Square Garden, a venue name that I say in full every time I mention the show, I got up and sang and waved my arms around and din’t care that I am 37 and one of the only people over 25 at the show who was not a parent. Like, they’re just good songs, you know? That’s what it comes down to. The songs? They’re good. I love them.

You should buy this one for sure. Like, this one above all the others.

Real Life Rock & Roll Band - Hollerin’ the Spirit

Andrew Weathers is a real one. When you’re a hermit you often have people who you think “aw man, I wish I was less of a hermit because this person rules and it’d be fun to be friends with them.” For most of my time in Oakland that I knew Andrew he was one of those. We had beers ONE (1) time and it was like a few weeks before he moved to Texas, haha. So, whoops to that. That all said, I’ve always loved the music he makes. Seeing AWE made me cry once, and that was cool.

I knew Real Life Rock & Roll Band would be enjoyable, but what I didn’t fully expect was this incredible collection of motorik rhythm emo rock and roll jams to just worm their way into my head.

A lot of folks try to smoosh rock and roll and weirdo music together, but often it ends up feeling like an experiment in a bad way, a little cold, a little calculated. These songs have heart, for lack of a less cliched way to say that. But goddamnit I’m right. These songs breathe and live, all chiming guitars intertwining, autotune, and locking into the groove early and often. You can tell this is the rock and roll that just came out when these people sit down to make rock and roll, and it’s refreshing, and good for the soul that I don’t know if I really think we all have. Very good, you should buy it.

Earl Sweatshirt - Feet of Clay

Listen, I get wanting the bangers. Hell. I WANT THE BANGERS. But I got emotionally invested in Earl pretty much right after I found out about him, and watching him grow from that first record that made it clear this kid is a phenom and a huge talent, but that first one is also so young, so raw, so... kinda gross? Then he went away, and when he got back, seeing him in Oldie, I watched that video so so often. He just looked so happy, and that video is such a perfect thing in so many ways. And he grew UP, and Doris was full of bangers, and I Don’t Like Shit… had fewer but was better in my eyes, and then Solace, and then Some Rap Songs and now Feet of Clay…… this is Earl in a loose mode that I really love. It feels like Earl making EARL music, and while I do still hope he gets back to some bangers, hearing Earl spread out/stretched out/streaming out can’t help but make me happy. And god the ridiculous beat on East, ugh, just pump it in my veins.

This one is also good, you should buy it.

Pancrace - Fluid Hammer

I don’t even really know where to begin on this one. I think I only first paid attention because Sarah loved it, and I trust her, and I DO love it, but god it’s just SO bizarre in some ways, but also so weirdly beautiful. It feels like a place, it feels like experiments, it feels like a peek into a world I don’t understand.

Some of my favorite music feels like the people making it are doing something I don’t really…. get…. but it’s clear they are doing it for reasons, and that I’m meant to enjoy it. And I do.

Which makes this all sound way more, uh, austere and WEIRD that I actually mean to. In some ways the weirdness is just how pleasant some of these tracks are. It’s a record made of little vignettes, musical, conversational, experimental, etc.

It succeeds the most at being exciting, which is maybe the main thing I love. That I listen to this and get excited about what they’re doing. How rare is it to feel like you don’t know what’s coming next these days, especially in what we call experimental music.

Kamran Shafii - Corpora Vilia

Kamran is a friend, and has gotten me more drunk than almost anyone else has twice in my life. Once in Seattle, and once in Brooklyn. He also put out 2 records this year that are pretty different.

Pithy & Prolix is one long track of computer scrabble, chirp and silence with stretched voice and silence in between. It’s a ride, but feels like one thing. I like it quite a bit, but really…. this one from right at the beginning of 2019 is the JAM.

Corpora Vilia is a set of 3 pieces, that all feel like they are their own entire world. Voice and field recordings and thrum and throb, combine with piano. You can tell it’s pieced together from parts, but it all works so well together, with the final piece maybe being my favorite thing out of both records.

I feel like his music is held together be a thread I can never quite articulate, but I can always feel. It reminds me, not sonically, but uh, conceptually? (maybe structurally?) of Sarah Hennies’ music, which always feels structured in a way that warrants further investigation or repeated listening, not as a puzzle to be solved but because it’s so clear there’s some substructure that every listen through I get a glimpse of, different glimpses each time maybe, but you can feel it still. And revisiting it is always rewarding.

claire rousay - Friends

I’ve said things on my twitter (that no one really reads or should read) about how I think claire’s doing some of the most interesting work out there in whatever this weird world of music is. She has released a frankly astonishing amount of music between full on releases as well as some subscriber only things that are the length of full on releases in her bandcamp sub, and the best part is that all of it is worth hearing, a feat, and the vast majority I’d say is good. The move from scattered percussion, which she was honestly very good at, to this textural, abstracted, collaged sound world that incorporates life, intimacy, bodies, confusion, and care into compelling audio has been really great to be a small part of as a listener and I guess very very minor supporter. I think most of what she’s done rules, but Friends, which came out just near the end of the year rocketed to the top of the list for me. It feels like the most sure version of thing she’s moved towards/gestured towards/accomplished before, but the span of an entire album. (See also t4t, a moment in St. Louis and a moment at the beach which are my two other favorites of hers from 2019)

In some ways it’s frustrating that the most exciting part of her music is just how personal it feels, but that is a bit of a theme I guess. Frustrating mostly because I’m just so excited to actually feel the hand of a person making the music, and sometimes that’s more conceptual, but with claire’s music sometimes it’s literal. It’s that she’s reading a sext, it’s that you’re hearing the notifications come in in real time, there’s a person there, with messy relationships and ideas and her music is stronger and more interesting for it.

D=D - Don Brown and Dan Reynolds (this one’s a book and cd)

God, this is such a weird fucking thing, and I adore it. I don’t have much intelligent to say about it honestly. Joe and Bryan have both made music that I really and truly adore, and both are categorized in my brain as people I will always want to hear from in part because I trust them as artists, trust that what they put in the world is worth paying attention to. And I think that gets at something about this year for me. I struggled with some things I assumed I’d love, I loved some things I decided I didn’t want to write about because of people and disappointments, and learned I care a lot more about taking time for things that I knew I’d find compelling or interesting, less worried about whether I thought it was the best thing of the year. In some cases the interest may just be “well this is pleasant” in other cases it’s “oh wow there’s so much going on here”. For a long time I thought experimental music should be HARD, should be COMPLICATED. And that’s a way to be, but the stuff I am pulled to is more like confounding? It makes me interested, makes me want to spend time with it, makes me feel like I don’t know the tricks it’s playing or pulling. And that’s not to denigrate those tricks even. Like, sometimes you just want to listen to a very nice thing, and also something that feels like a trick may not be a trick for everyone, but this year especially I spent time with experimental music that felt like it was trying to do new tricks, or at least employing old (to me) tricks in new ways. With D=D, it’s a book, first and foremost, and it felt new, it felt fresh, it felt like a confusing object, garish pink, with inscrutable history, and inscrutable sounds. It's also occasionally very funny.

Derek Baron - Dress of the Century

Okay, so. Frank  O’Hara. I read a really great biography of O’Hara this year that made me love him even more than I already did, and helped crystalize some things in my head about what I want out of poetry. O’Hara’s “I do this, I do that” form has grown and mutated and even in his poetry it varies from I do this, to we did that, to this happened, etc etc, and I wonder honestly if even he started it, but most important for what we’re doing here, reading more of his poems and reading about him, and how he wrote helped settle that something about that format sits so well with what I care about not just in poetry, but in art in general. His poems move so seamlessly between these mundane moments perfectly captured and profundity and sadness and joy and a winking nod, a silliness, an undermining of what came before, a hesitation, honestly, everything. But they don’t feel like whiplash to me, they don’t feel frenetic, unless on purpose, occasionally, they just feel like life, like the movement between big and small, love and hate, disgust and rage and peace and delight, all at once. Read Having A Coke With You again, go ahead and go read it….. you can read it as breathless running from thought to thought, but I read it as the ambling path a mind can take when you love someone, when you’re comfortable, when you’re letting them in. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do with my poetry I realized, let people in.

Now, sorry, Derek Baron.

So I couldn’t stop thinking about O’Hara every time I listened to Dress of the Century. And honestly, all of the work they’ve put out recently does this for me (Recollects which they put out last year late in 2018, and Permanent Six Flags - A Festival Play for the Consecration of a Stage (which is Derek and Emily Martin) which came out on Reading Group this year, and to a lesser extent I guess the duo with Zoots Houston but that is also very very good.)

But especially with Dress of the Century. They do this, they do that, and it’s all pieced together, and sometimes it’s beautiful and sometimes it’s rough, but it’s all placed so specifically, and so perfectly. It’s not even a sum being greater than parts, it’s that the sum IS the parts, and each part sits next to the other, and it’s not a frantic movement, it’s an amble back and forth, hazy memory, overlaps, sudden clarity striking then disappearing. In the best of Frank’s poems you feel let in, not to secrets, but to a world, and that’s how Dress of the Century feels every time I play it. Like Derek is letting us all in just a bit, and it’s curated, it’s a selection, but god, that’s what letting anyone in to anything is. If you’re going to let someone in, it might as well be beautiful. And Dress of the Century is beautiful.

Shots - Private Hate

I was surprised how much I loved this. It builds on what I got so excited about with some of the early Taku Unami making-weird-cardboard-constructions-era of improv. Small sounds, space, room, the feeling that there’s something going on you’re not quite clear about, but are happy to have been given the chance to hear it. I didn’t expect to be so taken, but I’ve listened to this one a ton over the last couple months. I don’t know how to feel about non-music as a genre descriptor or trend, but I do know that if stuff keeps coming out that feels like Private Hate, which is this carefully constructed thing full of nothing in the best possible way, fascinating nothing, then I’m all ears.

Other Ten

Wicca Phase Springs Eternal - Suffer On

Is this embarrassing? Who can say. This dude is sad, and used to be in a hardcore band or something, but now is an emo goth rapper and I love this record a lot.

La Dispute - Panorama

More emotional men! I think this is their best record, capturing all the energy and frontic yelping, but it’s less yelps, and way more listenable. I sometimes miss the frantic yelps, but overall know Panaroma is a much sharper/clearer/better document than the earlier records. I listened to this record for the first time on a Metro North train up to Beacon and then walked around looking at austere art I adore listening to it a second time.

Despot - all the weird songs/snippets Despot released at various points this year on his goddamn instagram stories just fucking put out the album please man. Like…. For real.

At one point I recorded instagram videos so I could relisten and he posted a song on soundcloud for like…. 1 day, and I copped that shit too. I think he is a very good rapper and I just want to hear an entire record so so much it’s impossible to know that he has essentially recorded like three records that have been thrown out. Also he’s the brother of the main guy in Vampire Weekend so opened for Vampire Weekend and that’s hilarious.

JPEGMafia - All My Heroes are Cornballs

I don’t know what to say here and wish I had more honestly, but I ended up listening to JPEGMAFIA’s Veteran on the subway a LOT earlier in the year, and when this came out it was exciting to have more. I adore that he just went ahead and named a song “JPEGMAFIA TYPE BEAT” because it is both true and very, very funny. It’s so good though. Also sometime in Nov/Dec he and Mr. Peck below showed up in each other’s instagram stories and <3

Oliver Peck - Pony

He’s a very attractive gay masked cowboy man who sometimes plays songs shirtless on his instagram stories. And this record is full of country music that is sad and gay and I didn’t return to it as often as I expected, but I loved it a lot.

Michael Pisaro - Nature Denatured and Found Again

It’s very beautiful in the way that Pisaro’s music often is. I was surprised by how often I returned to this one, but have almost no thoughts beyond “this is pretty”. Sorry Michael!

Deb Never - House on Wheels

This ep rules. Deb is annoyed at you, and a little bored, but it’s cool that you came around to her place I guess. And you LOVE it. That’s what it sounds like. You love EVERY minute of it.

Gil Sansón / Lance Austin Olsen - Works on Paper

This one took me a bit. At first I found the narration weird and distracting and decided I didn’t like it, but at the same time when both discs ended I just started from the beginning again. I think the main reason it didn’t get more play is because it’s a music that demands some attention, and this was a year where my attention was sparse. If I put it on as background I end up annoyed, but the few times I’ve put it on and just sat and brewed tea over and over and listened to it I’ve found a ton to love. I plan to revisit this more in 2020.

Lil Peep - Moving On (song)

It would not be a list without Lil Peep. I saw the documentary and liked it a lot, but it didn’t do what I had hoped it would, which is make him a little more accessible. It made me incredibly sad though, because it’s so clear everyone, including Peep, just got so fucking caught up in his rise that no one remembered to like… take care of this poor guy who was so hurt, and so sad, and who had such dreams. Anyway, this song rules, I listen to it like three times a week. It was one of my favorites of the “new songs” from the last tour videos that got out, nice to have a recorded version.

Y2K & bbno$ - Lalala (song)

This became a TikTok song which, hilariously, is how I found it. I got this thing STUCK in my head and listened to it over and over and over for weeks, and still now months later I listen to it once a week or so. The remix has Carly Rae Jepson and uh…. Enrique Iglesias?!??!?!???!!!! It’s a very simple beat and a very dumb song in a lot of ways, but god it just settled deep deep into my brain.

[rierubino]

Monument Valley II (Movie Story [by Song]) by Robbie Ierubino

A squeal of Monument Valley (Movie Story [by Song]).

​Gymnopédie - by Erik Satie - Movie Overture

Ro in the Valley - by Todd Baker - Madam Ro Valor’s first appearance outside her house by the mountains in sunrise.

A Full Life - by Todd Baker - Queen Ida Hills of Spem* came for a visit with Ro and told her that since she was a child, her mother trained her to be a Monument Wanderer. The problem is that she didn’t thought about her childhood after the Black Year, which was the time when Ida returned the sacred geometry to save Spem. But then, Ida told Ro to invite Eurus to be the new Wanderer because of her theory of the new prophecy today.

Mother & Child - by Todd Baker - In the afternoon, Ro invited her adopted daughter, Eurus Hera, to the valley and guides her when she gets her sacred geometry in on of the monuments in the valley.

Mother’s Pledge - by Todd Baker - When they were inside the vestibule, they encounter the Pledge Safe, which is in a shape of a sacred platform but bigger. Ro demonstrates Eurus by saying there own pledge with their name, date of birth, and special occupation of a Monument Wonderer. The safe opens. Little stars came out and landed inside Ro’s sacred hat. Ro is now prepared for her new monumental journey.

Shelter - by Porter Robinson & Madeon - Title Sequence

Impossible Worlds - by Todd Baker - Ro shows Eurus her occupation of a Monumental Wanderer as an architect at one of the incomplete and unstable monuments. This makes Eurus curious about what her occupation would be.

Gamelan Rain Melody - by Todd Baker - Ro sent Eurus to one of her monumental works and told her that she built it for her to learn a lesson and find her own path.

Child - by Todd Baker - Eurus starts her monumental puzzle to find her lesson and her own path by crossing through the Viaduct of Spirit.

The Archipelago - by Todd Baker - As soon as Ro and Eurus made it to the end, Markus Colombus came to tell them that Eurus is ready to begin her first journey at the ancient ruins of the Gonsalves* Archipelago.

Departure - by Todd Baker - At the docks, Ro wishes her daugther good luck and best wishes and gives Eurus her first sacred hat. Then, she sails away for beginning as a Monument Wanderer.

Somewhere Only We Know - by Keane - As Eurus is sailing away, Ro continues her journey as she searches for her lost childhood memories at the Sky Towers.

First Steps - by Todd Baker - Eurus landed in one of the islands and predicted that it is where the Lyceum Tree is located.

Lessons & Learnings - by Todd Baker - After Ro’s visit at the towers, she couldn’t even find her memories. But she was told by Esher Wong that only way to find your memories is to enter the void of one of the Time Totems.

A Friend, Pt. 1 - by Todd Baker - Ro is now in luck because she has a totem friend and child sitter named, Dali Cason. She found him in the abandoned Aphelion Observatory. She told him about searching for her lost memories and Dali agreed to help by opening his portal into his own void. Ro enters through.

The Orchard - by Todd Baker - Meanwhile, Eurus was having a tough search when she became hungry and tired. Until she was about to get an apple from an apple tree, the giant bush open a doorway to a cellar. She has found the Aging Orchard.

Child’s Pledge - by Todd Baker - When Eurus entered inside the cellar of the Aging Orchard, she found another Pledge Safe. Eurus pledges and the safe opens. Little stars came out and landed inside Eurus’ sacred hat. Eurus is now prepared for her first monumental journey. But then, a tree in front of her grow and created a door.

Mên-An-Tol - by Todd Baker - Inside the void, Ro now sees her childhood memories. Her mother was a warrior and a musician and she was so proud that her daughter had become the first youngest Monument Wanderer of Motos*.

Clarity (feat. Foxes) - by Zedd - Ro sees her young-self and her mother having fun together and her first adventures ad a Monument Wanderer. But then, war broke out. Her mother told Ro to abandon her and protect her colony by building a shield.

An Emptiness - by Todd Baker - As Ro exits the void, she now remembers everything about why she is here in Spem, since the Crow’s incident of the curse.

All Grown Up - by Todd Baker - Back at the island, an unknown woman that looks familiar is solving a puzzle in the Sunken City in which the occupation of a Monument Wanderer awaits.

A Friend, Pt. 2 - by Todd Baker - At the Botancial Gardens of the Water Palace, Ro completes her monumental design with the help of Dali and Ida.

Grayscale: Colour - by Todd Baker - After building the monument, Ro sees a small boat heading to the docks by the harbor and predicts that her daughter maybe coming back.

Reunion - by Todd Baker - At the road of the city, Ro sees a hooded figure that looks familiar to her, but as an adult. As the figure takes her hood off, the woman looked at Ro and said, “Mom.” It was Eurus all grown up, fast!

So Much More Than This - by Grace VanderWaal - Back at home, Eurus tells Ro everything about her adventure, including how the Lyceum Tree aged her into an adult and how she is chosen to be a guardian as her Monument Wanderer occupation.

Mirador - by Todd Baker - At night, Ida, Ro, and Eurus discovers a meteor heading towards the city by sunrise. Ro became stressed when she figured that the monument of Mt. Mirador is unfinished when she was also brain damaged in the Crow incident and went into a coma for five weeks.

Power of Two - by Todd Baker - But, Eurus convinces Ro that if all Monument Wanderers work together to complete the monument, they will have a chance to build a shield. Ida invited every Monument Wanderer find their own path at the mountain.

A Warm Ascent - by Todd Baker - As Eurus and Ro entered the peak of the mountain, they found the part that was unfinished. Ro begins built the final path of her masterpiece and Eurus elevates to the final sacred platform. All Monument Wanderers are now ready to place their sacred geometry into their platforms.

Interwoven Stories - by Todd Baker - After the sacred geometry were placed, all of their magic begin to combine together and formed an energy shield around Spem. The meteor hits the shield and its remaining parts disintegrate into little colorful sparkles.

Day & Night & Day - by Todd Baker - The next night, Ro and Eurus are happily stargazing by the beach. Eurus told Ro that no matter how you will forget about their childhood, there will always be beautiful and impossible ideas to create a better and relaxing future. And at day, everyone of Spem lived happliy ever after…

OK (feat. James Blunt) - by Robin Schulz - …or are they? / End Credits (Part 1)

Saint Claude - by Christine and the Queens - End Credits (Part 2)

*spem - Latin for hope / *Gonsalves - Surname of illusion artist, Rob Gonsalves (1959-2017) / *motos - Latin for emotion 

If you want to hear the playlist, click here.

[chesterfieldstings]

Mount Eerie - A Crow Looked At Me - Review

Mount Eerie A Crow Looked At Me

Death is everywhere. You can glance in any direction and see wood, meat and plants that were once living things. For Phil Elverum, the singer/songwriter recording under the moniker of Mount Eerie, he sees the ashes of his wife, Genevieve Castree, the recently deceased mother to his young daughter. Countless forms of poetry, music, and literature have addressed and expounded upon the topic of death; sometimes it is manipulative, and other times it’s plaintive art, desperately trying to make sense of life’s preposterous and pervasive cruelty. A heft of this artwork has proven to be very worthwhile, yet little to none of it can precisely convey the true, emptiness real death, and the impact-fulness of rolling over to that side of the bed in the middle of the night that formerly radiated human warmth. Enter, Phil, and God bless him. His new record is titled A Crow Looked At Me and for some it will be the saddest listen they might ever endure but for Phil this is the painfully fresh document of an event that has changed his life forever.

Dating back to the 90’s with the essential, experimental indie-rock band, The Microphones, Phil has dabbled in the topic of death, as well as themes of life and nature. As a fairly recent convert to his music and idiosyncratic style, I can’t claim to be a historian on his work and personal life, but it is rather apparent he is hermetic, introverted and throughout his career has been gushing with creativity. A Crow Looked At Me documents where creativity and comfort meet harsh reality. This is where art becomes meaningless and ephemeral, and isn’t it ironic- To make an album, a piece of art, about how art doesn’t help. The emotions that music can evoke are fleeting and the sting of real life depression and loss lingers long after a record is recorded.

A Crow Looked At Me is truly unlike any album on the subject. The music, like other Mount Eerie recordings, is very bare, mostly consisting of acoustic guitar, piano, tiny puttering drum machines and Phil’s voice graphically detailing the time, place, and naturalistic imagery surrounding his wife’s passing. Every line in every song brings another layer of uncomfortable visuals. Unlike the frightening mix of acceptance and distress featured on David Bowie’s Blackstar or the triumphant, harrowing memoirs detailed on Touche Amore’s record Stage Four, this album hasn’t come to terms with anything. It’s very fresh and present, often sounding like it was written hours, maybe minutes after Genevieve’s passing. I would be very wary to recommend this album to anyone dealing with grief because takes place so early in the grief cycle. The emotions and so raw, stark, and the lyrics are blunt, longing and quietly tortured while brimming with detail.  In fact the entire album was recorded in the very room Genevieve died in, carrying with it the crackles, hums, and natural sounds of being isolated in an empty room with just an acoustic guitar.

The honesty on this album is devastating, with each line rolling out out of Phil’s mouth gently as tears flowing down your face . The intense levels of pain and numbness that Phil guides the listener into makes this one of the most arduous albums I’ve experienced in recent memory, which is also what makes it so incredibly genius. The way Phil forces you into his world is unshakeable, making it a work that many might respect, but will undoubtedly be reluctant to return to. This is a wholly uninviting listen, even more unnerving considering how crystal clear Phil’s words are. He demands your attention to notice the inevitable desolation of death.

In my lifetime, I’ve experienced two major deaths. They happened simultaneously in a car accident. It shook my entire community and shifted my perspective on life. That was roughly seven years ago. At the time, I was writing songs often. The death of my friends was not a muse I kind of intended it could be. When I went to reach a pen to attribute meaning to the tragedy, my hands went limp. There was nothing adequate I could say, I just really missed them, and I still do. On “Emptiness, Pt. 2,” Phil recites one of my favorite lyrics: “conceptual emptiness is cool to talk about, before I knew my way around these hospitals”. He’s right. Death, afterlife, and the idea of nothingness is idle talk until it personally makes its presence known to you. “Death is real” is the opening line of the album and repeated motif throughout. Such a universally accepted statement, yet so easily forgotten.

A Crow Looked At Me strings together beautiful moments, despite its unnervingly bare instrumentation. The haunting guitar melody on “Ravens” is one of the most mesmeric and unsettling moments put to music. When Phil cleans his wife’s room for the final time in “Toothbrush/Trash” its haunting music picks up slightly with a soft drum machine matching the tempo of his descriptions at the end. “Soria Moria” gathers in the only audible electric guitar in the album as Phil tells the origin story of their relationship; using this guitar, he matches its brash distortion with his frantic emotional state. These spare, human moments feel so tangible in spite of it’s narrative being told in such hollow spaces; fleshed out through memories, dreams and naturalistic imagery. Ravens, flies and dirt play the role of life always flourishing, despite the unimaginable defeat that it faces and ultimately overcomes. At one point Phil sees a fly as his wife before he lets it out of a window to be set free. While scattering her ashes into a sunset he declares she is not the ashes, she is the sunset.

The final track, “Crow,” makes a point to audibly have Phil leave the room after his final lines. There is no catharsis, no reprise and little to demand for an immediate return. Death is sound, the crows are sound, and the nightmares are corporeal until the moment of awakening, and this is Phil Elverum’s reality. Few pieces of art have used death in such a genuine fashion as this has. Death is not for singing or inspiring. It is a callous, unreasonable and inequitable fact of life that doesn’t make much sense; Phil makes this painfully evident on every lyric he delivers. The suffering of cleaning up the remains of a once living person and having to continue with the daily minutiae of life is a burden inflicted by nature’s cruelty. A burden that Phil repudiates on the remarkable “Forest Fire”. Phil, who has always held nature in particularly high regard, now seeing his lifelong fascination and respect for these forests turned on it’s side as he quietly disagrees with Genevieve’s fate.

“You do belong here, I reject nature, I disagree”

This is a heart-rending album about an agonizing topic and for what it’s worth I really hope that Phil and his daughter will be okay. A Crow Looked At Me is a masterpiece, so much so that it’s nearly unlistenable. By no means will anyone be cruising in a car and playing this on their way to work. There’s nothing to look forward to, only the dyer, desperate plead to look back. Hopefully by keeping that chasm open, the memories you carry will somehow fill that void. In time these memories won’t include dead body tissues, jaundiced skin, and the routes around hospitals. Mount Eerie has crafted a masterwork out of the unassailable feeling of loss; and Genevieve would be extremely proud of what Phil has created in her honor.

10/10

Top Tier: EVERY TRACK MADE ME CRY. ALL ARE GOOD. NO BAD, NO MID, NO BOOBOO. LISTEN TO THIS ALBUM, BUT LIKE IF I HAD TO PICK SOME ‘FAVORITES,’ AND I USE THAT TERM LOOSELY BECAUSE IT’S ALL SO FUCKING GODDAMN GOOD, IT WOULD BE: “Ravens”, “Real Death”, “Seaweed”, “My Chasm”, “Soria Moria”, “Real Death”, “Ravens”, “When I Take Out the Garbage At Night”, “Forest Fire”, “Ravens”, “Swims”, “Real Death” and probably also “Ravens”

Authors Note: Buy this. In a recent interview, it was proposed to Phil that the possibility of recording and selling this album could be exploitative. Originally, this was not intended to be released for mass consumption, and given its context, that is not surprising. However, he confessed that he would like to provide the best possible future for his daughter that is now motherless. Purchasing this and other Mount Eerie work could make a difference in a child’s life, which is yet another way this album seems to transcend music as we know it. This is literally life and death stuff here. In his own words, Phil says that that the universe did him very wrong and he plans on getting back at it, let’s help him.

Listen to the interview here: http://kuow.org/post/young-mom-dies-her-husband-writes-album-and-their-child-asks-where-s-mama

Wow, I gave a 10/10, How bout that.

Have a great day guys. Hug someone you love.

[satelliteofmstielove]

K17 Time of the Apes

                                                    Monkey wrenching

General notes

          Ah, more Sandy Frank. That name just warms my heart. Oh wait, that’s the rage at having to watch another one of these things. Okay, so maybe it’s not quite that bad, but man, it’s not good. This is the last Sandy Frank episode for KTMA, giving us two seasons of freedom from the hot dog dropped on the beach, until Season 3 when we get to watch almost all of these movies again, but with better riffing.

          Like Cosmic Princess [K10], Fugitive Alien [K12], and Mighty Jack [K14], Time of the Apes is actually assembled from pieces of a TV show. The original show was called Saru no Gundan (“Army of Apes”) and aired in the early ‘70s. Apparently, it’s not too bad, if Planet of the Apes adaptations (one might say “rip-off” instead, but hey) are your thing. I can see how, without bad dubbing and half the story cut out, it could be a fun watch. In this form, however, it’s…well, it’s on MST3K.

          This episode is unique- Joel’s not in it! I don’t know the detailed backstory, but I guess he had to be out of town that week, so they just taped the episode without him. Having just Tom and Crow in the theater makes for a slightly different feel. Let’s go watch some monkeys, shall we?

Prologue

The Mads are having trouble getting the Joel on the phone. Unfortunately for them, the bots are in a trolling mood and aren’t being much help.

It sounds like the Mads send Time of the Apes as retaliation for the bots’ unhelpfulness. Something similar happens in several later episodes, such as Hobgoblins [907]. It seems like Pearl was especially prone to this.

Mr. Potato Head is back on the desk this week. Dr. Forrester takes out his anger on it by ripping off its nose. Or maybe he just felt like dressing it up differently, at that exact moment.

Movie pt. 1

Does anyone else automatically sing “Sandy Frank, Sandy Frank” along to the opening music? I can’t help myself.

Crow sits in Joel’s usual seat.

At 3:06, Tom already says he feels kind of a void without Joel in the theater. He’s also not too happy about sitting right next to Crow, it seems. He tells Crow maybe he should empty his load pan because he doesn’t smell very good. So…did anyone ever figure out what a load pan was actually supposed to be? I’m not sure I want to know, now.

I never noticed before how peppy the music in this section of the movie is.

Crow doubts the monkeyhood of the animal at 5:41. Tom thinks it’s a possum, Crow guesses lemur. Crow was closer- it’s actually a loris.

6:55- Crow continues his already storied career as an incorrigible punster.

Servo mentions Joel’s absence again at 7:16, wondering where he is.

At 8:32, Crow’s already got this movie’s number.

Wow, this advanced scientific compound’s wiring does not seem up to code.

Crow mentions doing experiments in science class at 10:10. I know it’s probably just a joke, but Joel probably would do experiments with the bots for fun. Probably not “destroy the monkey freezing plant” experiments, though.

At 10:48, Tom mocks Crow’s time as a Christmas tree from several episodes ago, which Crow does not particularly appreciate. He compares being frozen to “drinking a Slurpee real fast.”

Tom also calls commercial at 11:23.

When Johnny starts calling for his uncle at 13:10, the bots start up calling out other names. Sort of a proto version of a joke they’d use in multiple later episodes, most memorably in Pod People [303]. They start it up again at 16: 27.

Some of the camera movement and editing choices in this movie are so strange.

Tom begins whistling at 18:47. After a little while, Crow asks him how he gets his “blowport” to pucker to make that sound. Tom says it’s a special program, but…Also, if anyone knows what song(s) he’s whistling, I’d be interested to know.

At 20:48, Crow says Joel should be there, and Servo says he’s getting a little concerned.

Trace has made Josh laugh at least three times so far in the episode. He’s on a roll. Has been for the past few episodes, actually.

Crow mentions Joel’s absence again in a riff at 22:36.

I don’t know why, but Crow’s little “Mm?” at 23:18 is adorable.

The bots decide to go look for Joel as they leave the theater.

Host Segment 1

The bots discuss where Joel might be, and go over where they’ve already looked. It’s sort of cute how they don’t know all the rooms on the ship.

They quickly degenerate into arguing, unsurprisingly. They really are like young siblings.

Crow calls Tom a “spasmodic crofisator” (crophysator?), a term that would be used again at least once in Season 1. It sounds like an insult but I’m not sure what it means. Maybe they don’t know, either.

Gypsy shows up to break up the fight, carrying Joel’s jumpsuit in her mouth. Does Joel only have one jumpsuit? I always sort of assumed he had at least a couple. But I guess in KTMA he only ever wore the one on camera, so maybe he did only have one. He only had one on camera in Season 1, too. Actually, the only season where he clearly had more than one jumpsuit was Season 2, where he had at least 5- teal, bright red, cyan, light green, and his classic maroon one, which he wears in every episode after it first shows up in Godzilla vs. Megalon [212]. Mike wore the same green one throughout Season 5 (unless you count the navy one in Mitchell), got a royal blue one (Zombie Nightmare [604]) and a teal one (The Creeping Terror [606]) in Season 6, and then switched between the three of them for the rest of his time as host. You know, in case you wanted the brief jumpsuit history of MST3K.

Crow doesn’t know what a pod bay is either. Tom is not taking things seriously and activates a “wah-wah-wah” noise. Does that satellite have those built in?

Apparently the only possible conclusion one could reach after finding Joel’s uniform is that he’s floating naked in space. They don’t seem too concerned for his safety, just more interested in seeing him in an embarrassing position. These are the monsters you created, Joel.

Movie pt. 2

The way this is cut makes the story feel really choppy. Was is this bad in the version they used for the Season 3 episode? Probably.

The fire in the movie makes Crow sneeze at 28:52. Somehow. I wonder if Trace is a little sick- his voice cracks, too, at 29:08.

TV23 time and temperature at 35:41. 6:42, and 56°. I wish they’d tell us AM or PM, but I guess the people actually watching when this was on wouldn’t need to be told that. It was probably PM, since they taped during the day and played them in the evenings. I’m not sure if they showed them at other times on the channel as re-runs or not, though. Tom from mst3ktemple.com would probably know.

At 37:24, the bots start talking about how good it is to get your shoes off when you’ve been on your feet for a long time, despite the fact that neither of them wear shoes and only one of them could. (Unless you count that time from Danger Death Ray [620] where Tom wore the shoes on his head and hands. I don’t.)

Crow starts singing about taking the “ape train” at 46:41. It annoys Servo, but apparently Crow has to do it or his head will blow up. Personally, I think he may be exaggerating.

Immediately after, at 47:01, Tom mentions Joel void again. Crow says they’ll just go look at him through the telescope when they get out of the theater again. I guess that means they did locate him outside at the end of the last host segment, even if we didn’t get to see it.

Movie thing- why does the action scene on the train have such slow, ponderous music? I guess it’s not really that much of an action scene anyway.

Host Segment 2

Crow’s wearing Joel’s jumpsuit, which is ridiculously adorable. I wonder how he managed to put it on. It probably would have been entertaining to watch.

Servo and Crow discuss the implication of Joel being stuck outside, with themselves being the only ones who could let him in, all the while ignoring his pounding on the door outside. They like the idea of forcing Joel to do their will in exchange for saving him from the dark vacuum of space.

What does Crow have against breadfruit plants? Do they take up too much of Joel’s time?

Predictably, Tom’s still on about babes.

Crow also suggests sending him adrift with a sextant, charts and a toaster. Servo objects to losing Lucille the toaster, something about four toast slots. I hope hope hope that it’s just because he’s likes making four pieces of toast at a time and not for some other reason…speaking of which, what kind of fun does Crow think Joel would have with the toaster? I guess he’d tinker with it. He wouldn’t have anything else to do, since the sextant and charts sure aren’t going to help him navigate anywhere in space.

The bots decide the pounding they’re hearing is space barnacles that need removal, to justify messing with Joel some more, but get Movie Sign before they get a chance.

Movie pt. 3

At 51:41, I agree with Tom- I’ve never seen anyone that unconcerned about a UFO.

Josh sneezes at 54:12. Crow/Trace says “gesundheit.”

Tom forgets Godo’s name at 57:05. Usually forgetting how to say characters’ names is Joel’s thing. I guess someone had to do it since he’s wasn’t there.

Did Sandy Frank even attempt to make this part coherent? Was it 5 pm on a Friday and he was just like “Eh, this is good enough, those kids won’t know what’s going on anyway”?

Servo calls commercial again at 1:01:43.

At 1:03:23, Crow is unimpressed by Tom’s joke.

1:04:46- Servo mentions Joel again, though I’m not sure whether he means Joel is a naked ape, or someone who is going back to his country. Is he saying that’s why Joel went out into space in the first place? I guess it could be.

Tom and Crow discuss the Academy Awards at 1:06:12.

The cliff in this flashback is, like, the least treacherous cliff ever. You could walk up that.

Host Segment 3

Cambot plays some old footage of Joel (from Invaders from the Deep [K01], with the long hair and turquoise jumpsuit- wait, he did have another jumpsuit in KTMA. Does that invalidate my whole spiel about jumpsuits from earlier? Oh nevermind). It freaks out Tom and Crow for a second because they think they’ll be in trouble. Have we ever seen this part before? I can’t recall if that little bit is in the snippets video of the three missing episodes.

Inevitably, the bots get into another argument, this time about whether the Joel behind the door was real or simulated. Usually the human has to break up the fighting. If something else didn’t interrupt, I wonder how far it would escalate.

Anybody know who that was behind door #2? Whoever it was, he terrified the bots. Maybe just because he was huge? Or perhaps they don’t like baldness.

Things get a little trippy when Tom starts playing with the laws of reality. He seems to have that power. He does something similar in Gunslinger [511], and Crow doesn’t like it any better then than he does here.

Movie pt. 4

At 1:15:17, Crow and Servo talk about whether or not humans have the same number of hairs on their bodies as apes. Crow thinks so, Servo doesn’t believe it.

I think we’re all starting to get impatient along with Crow. This is dragging on forever.

Down to 54° by 7:45, so I’m guessing it is PM, at 1:27:24.

Ah, we’re finally back on track- Wizard of Oz reference #14 at 1:29:23. I knew they’d return someday. The last three episode haven’t had any, at least that I could find, so my original theory about there being a WoZ riff in every Joel episode has been disproven. I still predict that there will be at least one in every Joel ep in the series proper, though.

The impatience continues.

At 1:31:20, Servo says that if Joel were there, they’d have run out of monkey puns much earlier. Is that because they’d have said more of them in a row to annoy him, or because Joel’s presence discourages the creation of monkey puns?

Something about Tom’s timing at 1:32:07 is just great.

Very brief Wizard of Oz reference #15 at 1:33:55.

Movie thing- So they do explain how they got back to their own time, it just makes NO SENSE. I wonder if Tom still feels like exploding.

Servo forgets Godo’s name again at 1:36:16, calling him Gobo.

1:36:58- uh, what other organ were you thinking of, Crow?

Tom falls over onto Crow as they start to leave the theater, but manages to get back up.

Once again, I can’t not sing the Sandy Frank song along with the credits.

Conclusion

We get a rare outside shot of the S.O.L., along with floating-(semi)-naked-in-space Joel, as represented by an action figure of some kind. I…don’t really think Joel would look like that with his shirt off, but hey.

Tom and Crow contemplate life without Joel. They only seem to recall all the mean stuff Joel has done to them since their creation, but they still do say they miss him a little.

They also talk about how they actually like each other, although that “You’re the greatest” remark from Crow could have a bit sarcastic. Hard to tell. I prefer to interpret it in a positive light.

I don’t know if I mentioned it before, but Alexandra Carr is now in the credits as the Fan Club Coordinator and Production Assistant. She’d continue to be on the show’s staff for a long time.

Joel is also still listed as starring in the episode even though he wasn’t there, just like Trace was still credited for Crow in the eps where he was gone.

At least in the copy I linked, the sound on the tape starts flipping out in an amusing way at the very end.

Thoughts on the Movie

          This movie is…really goofy. I won’t go in-depth, since we have to watch it again in a few seasons, but man. Actually, it’s quite refreshing after two confusing 70s TV-movie dramas in a row. It’s not really any less confusing, but it’s much more entertaining to watch. This is also the second movie in a row with a really annoying child, although Johnny is much more amusing in his annoyingness than the kid in City on Fire (Gerald? Was that his name? I don’t care enough to go check). That kid was just not very good, whereas Johnny is not that terrible, he just kind of a spaz. Fits in with the rest of the movie, I guess.

Review

          This was a pretty solid episode. Of course, the definition of a solid episode in KTMA versus Season 1 and beyond is quite different, but this one measures up to what they’ve done so far. Josh and Trace kept the energy nicely throughout. The two of them always played off each other well (favorite riff- Crow: Let’s buy these guys a tripod, whadda ya say?). This episode didn’t provide nearly as many laugh-out-loud moments as the last one, though, which reinforces to me that three really is the magic number. Something about having all of them together brings it up to the right level. The movie itself was pretty lively this week, which probably helped make up for losing a riffer. If it had been say, Cosmic Princess with only Tom and Crow, it might not have worked as well.