#also I am holding Daphne so gently she’s so cool

[hyperfixationtimego]

gosh okay look I thought episodes 1 & 2 were mediocre at best but listen episodes 3 & 4 were goddamn DELIGHTFUL

[deancodedcastielenby]

It started out with a XX

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

I am putting Tags first so I don’t forget like the horrible trash panda I am: @casmick-consequences , @proudcasgirl , & @paintdriesfaster You have asked to be tagged, or for Casmick you are the reason this is here. The Date Continues  This is 100% unbeta’d and I am litterally on my work computer writing in between phone calls so. I apologize for any spelling errors or punctuation since I am a trash panda. XX love you all, enjoy

Castiel is under the impression that Mick Davies is an interesting human. The man seems charmed by many of the words that Castiel uses, and has no problems showing his obvious interest. There have been other humans in his time in this vessel that have shown a reaction to his person, and now that this body is his and no longer Jimmy’s it is an interesting notion that he would be coveted carnally from anyone. Still, Mick is interesting and the conversation that he engages in with Castiel over a shared dinner have kept Castiel enthralled at least. The dinner was odd, it still tasted like molecules, but Mick made a point to have him try a bite or two of everything and explain how he found the flavors. 

The white sauce on the noodles, for example, Castiel knew was called Alfredo sauce, but Mick described it much better before he had Castiel try a bite off his fork. There was flavor that he hadn’t expected, on top of the molecules, but perhaps being described before eating was the difference. No one had ever thought to try that before. The breaded mushrooms were an odd texture that Castiel was not sure that he liked, but Mick did say that sometimes the dipping sauces made them better, and the sweet dessert was delicious, and tasted faintly of coffee. That was a beverage he missed from being human. 

As far as humans go, Mick was charming and rather handsome, though at this point Castiel realized he had a type. Claire had pointed it out when he described Mick to her before the date. His eyes may not be the right shade of green that he prefers, but they are quite beautiful none the less. In fairness Mick had also dressed up for the occasion and was wearing an outfit similar to his own, though he was wearing brown. That was a brown slacks and waistcoat over a light blue shirt and a matching brown blazer. The overall effect was very charming, and very appealing. Castiel had on occasion browsed through different magazines and had seen similar outfits on different models, so he assumed it was a fashion thing, but Mick was able to pull it off nicely.  Of course there was a few glasses of wine with dinner, and Castiel was able to sip them carefully during conversation. It was true he had a rather high tolerance for alcohol, so it wasn’t that he needed to, but he had tried to keep pace with Mick to make sure that he blended in. Over all Castiel would say that the date was a success. Many times throughout the conversation he was able to pick up on the different flirtations that Mick was sending his way, and apparently he was sending back. Once or twice he was able to say something that made Mick laugh loudly and give him a wide smile that made his face mirror one in return. To say that dinner was pleasant would be an understatement.  After dinner Mick asked if he would like to take a walk and continue their conversation. It was getting darker outside, but still there was plenty of light with the street lamps and there was such a quaint little park they could walk around. It was simple to agree, and so they left hand in hand after Mick paid for their meal. “I insist Castiel, honestly it was mostly my meal anyway.” That was another strange feeling, being hand in hand with Mick. There was a brief moment where he remembered Daphne, she would hold his hand sometimes when they were out and about, but he never had this strange intimacy with another person after his memories came back. The hand in his own was not a dainty one, it was on the larger side with blunt fingers and the cool metal of a ring on his pinky finger. Over all he experience was new.  At one point Mick had released his hand, and of course Castiel frowned when he missed it immediately, only to have him slip Castiel’s hand in the crook of his elbow and seemingly step closer. “I am honestly surprised that you came out with me this evening.” They were on their second loop of the small park, their gait was slow and measured to eat up more time. Almost as if neither one was quite ready for the evening to end. “It seemed as though you were very much in the Winchester’s pockets and that they did not like me very much.”  “They do have a negative disposition to the British Men of Letters, Arthur Ketch left a rather bad taste in their mouths and I do not blame them for that, however they are not my keepers and I am free to make opinions on other humans.” Ever the peace keeper, or so it seemed, Castiel tried for a neutral ground. That was until Mick barked out a bit of a laugh. 

“I would suppose so, though not all of us Brits are quite like Ketch. I am hoping you would have a better opinion of me after our date. Perhaps I should inquire as to another?” It seemed the man was looking at Castiel out of the corner of his eye, which was odd, but it only took a moment to realize that he was asking Castiel out on another outing. This was courting wasn’t it? The odd human custom? 

“I would not be against another outing, though I had thought you were to return to England soon.” The words were out before Castiel could reel them back, but they were true none the less. Mick did not know that Castiel could travel to England with just a thought, so it wasn’t that the distance was a problem. Castiel would just like to know where he stood, it was so hard to gage with Dean where exactly things lay between them when Dean was in denial and never spoke. Perhaps this was Castiel’s way of making sure that whatever this was with Mick, it was different.   “I will have to return home eventually of course, but I would very much enjoy spending time with you whilst I can. Your conversation skills are spectacular, it is rather hard to have meaningful conversations about things anymore, and you are quite a sight to look at as well so that is a bonus for me.” These words were said with a smile and a pat to Castiel’s shoulder, “I am aware that our engagement here is limited, not just by time. I have eyes, I know I am not your first choice and that is fine with me, honestly. I just think that while I am here, I can show you what a relationship should be like, so that you know.” Stopping their circle of the park, they were in a bit of shadow of a corpse of trees but they could still see the stars if they were to look up. They didn’t.  “I will not take advantage of you, or your kindness. I want us to be open and honest with each other, so that when I do have to return to England, we could still walk away as friends and you can come to me with anything. Though right now, I would very much like to kiss you if you would be amenable?” The words were honest and open, much like the expression that Mick was wearing. Mick wanted a relationship, in what ever capacity that he could while he was here that could translate to a great friendship when he left, and honestly what did Castiel have to loose? The want to experience something good and meaningful after watching the one he wanted jump into bed with countless others....  “I am amenable.” The response was gruff and quiet, almost an afterthought, though Mick had heard it if the wide smile on his face was anything to go by. Oh so gently one of Mick’s hands cupped the side of Castiel’s head and guided their lips together in a sweet and soft touch. The kiss itself was chaste, but it seemed to cause an ache somewhere in the pit of Castiel’s stomach. It was genuine intimacy and affection, something he never knew he honestly needed, but with the gentle press of lips it was something that he was honestly going to crave. After a moment or two of soft pressure Mick pulled back to gage the reaction on the angel’s face.  “Well, no fireworks which is a shame, but I can live with that.” A slightly cocky smile lit the side of his mouth, “Unless you’d like another?”  “I always expected that kisses would be... more than just a press of lips.” It wasn’t that Castiel hadn’t experienced kisses, because he had on a few occasions, namely with women. Though the thought made him tilt his head slightly and squint in confusion. 

“Ah, you were expecting more passion and enthusiasm perhaps? What kind of Brit do you take me for, a savage? This is a first date after all, need to keep you on your toes and coming back for a second one.” There was something akin to mischief in Mick’s eyes before he laughed, “well I suppose one more couldn’t hurt.” With that he did pull Castiel’s head down once again to meet his lips, this time with a bit more of a firmer touch. The scrape of stubble against his skin was a bit firmer now, and he could actually feel it. After some maneuvering to fit their lips just so, a hint of a tongue pressed against the seam of the angel’s lips and he opened to the onslaught of Mick’s rather talented tongue. 

Unsure of exactly how long they stood there, in the slight shadow of the trees kissing quite like teenagers, they broke apart. A soft flush to Mick’s features made him more endearing in a way as he seemed to shiver and attempt to take a step back. It was a strange sensation feeling Mick release him, as it seemed that the hand that was not tangled into his hair had found his hip, not that he had noticed at the time. “Well now, that was... something else. Shall I return you home then Cinderella? Or is there a night in shining muscle around here somewhere waiting to whisk you away?”  “I do know how to drive.” Something about the way that Mick said the words was unsettling, though Dean did tell him to call when he was ready to be picked up. Castiel was an angel of the lord and he could take care of himself. 

“Of course you do, I never said you couldn’t. Perhaps you could walk me to my car then?” Mick gave a soft chuff and a slight bow of an apology holding out his elbow again. Castiel missed that strange closeness so he nodded and tucked his hand into the crook and walked Mick back to the restaurant and to his car. Luckily he did not see the Impala anywhere on their walk, and Castiel indulged Mick with another kiss at the car before watching him climb inside. “Do let me know when you are free for another Date.” Mick said after yet another soft press of lips before driving off and down the street.  It was a few moments before Castiel moved and headed back to the park, keeping himself invisible from any kind of eyes until he was standing where he and Mick had been only a little while before. Pulling out his phone he sent off a text to Dean, letting him know that he was not going to need a ride home, nor would he be back that evening. There was far too much for the angel to think about at that moment, and far to much for him to replay to even attempt to be near Dean right now. Instead he found himself sitting on a bench in that park, staring at the emptiness of the night, not getting a reply from Dean at all, but that was fine. The hunter had probably fallen asleep anyway, it was better for him to get the rest than worry about Castiel.  

[heistmaster69]

pariet lilium

pariet lilium

pariet lilium~by @heistmaster69​

4th Year Draco Malfoy x OC fic. 

~so uhh um I was maybe watching a video about dark academia while writing this and may have gotten a BIT carried away~

gif by @fairylightwishes​ all credit to them!

~

Frankie and Cher sat in the back of Potions class while Snape droned on about the effects of crushed versus shaved Bicorn Horn on the end result of a Pepperup potion.

“-now you see that’s exactly what I was talking about. Muggle movie stars are much more attractive than boys at Hogwarts-”

“Leonar-” 

“-Dicaprio, yes.” She whispered.

“Frankie that man is gorgeous-”

‘So fine-”

Cher let out a sigh, while Frankie continued. “All the boys from Dead Poets Society-”

“So it’s decided then-”

“Yes. I’m saving my virginity until I’m of age and Leonardo Dicaprio can come and take it fro-”

“Miss. Reed.” Snape deadpanned. “If you and your friends would be so kind as to stop squealing about muggle boys in my class-I would appreciate it. That will be five points from Slytherin.” 

Cher kicked Frankie under the table. 

“My bad, professor.” She murmured, putting her palm under her chin and turning back to her notes. 

Potions had to be her third favorite class, Frankie didn’t mind it at all, it’s just, she was a little distracted, recently. It seemed like her single-ness was beginning to get to her and she found herself daydreaming during class. She didn’t want to be as obsessed as she was, but Frankie couldn’t really help it. She wanted the movie-scene first kiss and the romance novel passion, as unattainable as it is, she craved it. 

But the thing is-Frankie never let herself daydream about people she knew. In reality, none of the people she’s liked would ever like her back, and it just hurt her because she knew that no one would ever have feelings for Frankie as she did for them. Every time she let her walls down she got hurt. 

A lot of the people Frankie has met have made sure she knows that she will never be as valuable, never as loved, as beautiful, as successful as others because she wasn’t as thin as others. Frankie loved herself. But her ‘friends’, her family? It seemed like they hated her for it...

~ 

Magic had always interested Frankie. Being a witch or wizard usually goes over the heads of purebloods, with the mere prospect of having the gift coming so naturally to all of them. Frankie’s isolated upbringing, rarely seeing her parents and being brought up by a strange yet kind tutor who instructed her in all sorts of topics, ranging from basic arithmetic to discovering Frankie’s magical abilities. Ms. Selwyn, around Frankie’s parents, and Kendra, during her tutoring sessions daily during childhood. 

These memories with Kendra have a warm haze to them, and whenever Frankie reminisced, a smile would find its way onto her face. We would stand together in the garden, during the golden sunsets, and she would say;

“Magic is an incredible gift, it is beautiful and infinitely important. We hold the power of the universe in our hands.” 

Young Frankie would stare wide-eyed, confused, and tug on the side of Kendra’s robe,

“Ms. Kendra, what’s the universe?” Frankie would ask.

“The universe is everything.”

“Everything? How much is that?” 

Kendra would smile so gently and kneel down beside Frankie, grasping her small hands and gesturing towards the sky alive with color.

“More than we could ever know.”

Kendra knew the power purebloods held with the Ministry, after all, the Selwyns and the Reeds were a part of the Sacred Twenty-Eight. The Ministry was still hypnotized by the status and the blood purity that these upper-class families held and overlooked the small laws broken by the elite, so Kendra and Frankie would practice small magic in their free time-in secret. The Reeds would never want their precious-little-delicate-perfect-pureblood baby daughter learning anything but the proper protocol for stuffy dinners with the Prewetts, the Malfoys, the Greengrasses, the Bulstrodes, the Parkinsons, the Notts, the Flints, or any other sort of perfect families that they could put in their larger-than-life estate. 

Nevertheless, Kendra would take Frankie into the garden behind the mansion, near the rippling brook by a big oak tree. They would sit in the shade of the branches and Frankie would learn about everything her family didn’t want her to know. She learned about the inequality between purebloods, half-bloods, and muggleborns and as Kendra told her of the First Wizarding War, Frankie felt her heart shatter into a thousand pieces. How could someone think they were any better than another human being due to their blood? Their lineage? How they treat those supposedly ‘less than’? This realization caused a rift to form between Frankie and her parents-the entirety of what being Sacred 28 pureblooded perfection was. 

She despised it.

Kendra warned her though, she spoke softly the words that shoved Frankie into a vault, locked her away, and threw away the key.

“I don’t know if this will ever change.”

Little Frankie blinked quickly, her wide eyes sore and puffy from tears. “Why?” She cried. 

“They will never relinquish the privilege that this supremacy gives them.” Kendra let out a deep sigh and placed a tender hand on Frankie’s shoulder. 

“I think you’re wrong, Miss Kendra.”

“I hope I am, Miss Frankie. I think you could make a difference.”

This upbringing of acceptance and wonder from Kendra instilled a unique view of magic in Frankie. She saw it as a privilege and took an interest in a side of magic that tended to be overlooked until necessary. Frankie liked to create spells and potions. Specifically, she had a fixation on wandless magic. It was crazy to her-she could create life from her hands. How so many of her friends and peers overlooked this, she understood but wished more people wouldn’t call people like her Loony Lovegood. 

Anyways.

Frankie hid a tattered mahogany-colored, pleather-bound journal in her pillowcase. This journal rarely let the safety of her room, only transferring annually between her estate and Hogwarts. It was never shown to a soul, and it contained her life’s work in what could barely be considered spell-creation. Notes and random scribbles littered the pages, but if it were ever to be lost, Frankie would lose everything she’s done since she was six years, four months, and thirteen days old and Kendra told her about spell-creation. She thinks she would cry.

~

“Oi Francesca-” A voice called.

“-you’re not allowed to call me that, Blaise.” Frankie chuckled as he jogged up to her, stopping to lean against the wall with a smirk.

“I don’t care, you’re Francesca to me. Anyway, Potions, what happened in poti-” Blaise looked over his shoulder and shouted to Theo. “Oi Theodore, get your arse over here!” Blaise had a thing for using people’s full name-even if it’s not really their name, (ie Daphnessa/Pansleigh.) Frankie rolled her eyes as Theo strolled, shoulders taut, up to Blaise

“Frankie, what happened in Potions? You love potions, you’re always talking about how Potions is a really cool way to learn about how magic affects the world-”

“-Potions is a super cool way to learn about how magic affects the world-” Blaise interjected, wrapping an arm around Theo’s broad shoulders.

 Theo turns to Blaise with a sarcastic stare at him. “Yeah, that.”

I want to have a stupid dumb kiss already. Which is stupid dumb and I don’t even care but I’m horny for love.

“Oh, yeah I-I didn’t sleep well last night.” Frankie choked out.

“It was kind of a relief, your constant enthusiasm about Snape’s class is alarming.” Theo snickered. Blaise snorted as he and Theo sauntered towards the Great Hall. Frankie let out a breath and followed soon after the two boys let for lunch to get to the common room.

~

Frankie’s boots tapped gently against the cold stone floor of the dungeons. Dust hung low in the air, illuminated by the amber glow of hanging torches that littered the walls. The dungeons are always shown as a dingy, disgusting place but Frankie found the common room comforting. She stilled in front of the entrance and spoke softly the password. 

“Labebantur anguis.” 

The wall dragged inwards with a low scraping sound, revealing her home. The estate is not a home, the estate is merely her stage, acting as the perfect daughter for an audience of haughty purebloods. This common room was perfect, smelling like pine and cotton and the perfect temperature. Green rugs and plush couches in front of a fireplace, tables and booths next to an espresso machine and a tea kettle. Arching windows and pillars showcasing the beauty under the Black Lake. This is home.

She stepped past the commons and walked up the winding stairs to the shared dormitories. Cher laid on Frankie’s bed with Daphne with parchment and quills set out on the emerald silk sheets.

“If you two spill ink on my bed one more time I’ll hex you in your sleep.” Frankie shrugged out of her robe and fell back onto Cher’s bed. The two girls giggled and returned to their subsequent conversations.

Cher was gorgeous. She radiated kindness and had an aura about her that made her seem impenetrable, yet she was humble. She had a crooked smile that never failed to bring one to Frankie’s face. Her eyes shone with emotion and were a deep brown that glimmered at all times. She was incredibly brilliant and the top of many of her classes. With the exception of Potions, Frankie held that spot proudly. 

Everyone says that perfect Hermione Granger, the “brightest witch of her age”, is the top of every class, but ever since she had to use her time to deal with the two rambunctious children that are her friends, she holds strong at about fourth. Frankie had to admit, she had a burning jealousy of Granger. She managed to befriend Potter in her first year, as well as make friends with many of the teachers, ace her classes, and save the entire school three times by now. Not to mention, she was also very pretty. This envy flared its deep green color whenever Frankie so much as heard the name Granger. 

“Earth to Reed?” Frankie snapped out of her covetous haze and met Daphne’s eyes. “Pansy’s bringing up lunch, get started on your essay, like, now.” 

Frankie tipped her head in agreement and reached into her bag to pick out her Astronomy notes. “Five sheets of parchment? Is Professor Sinistra trying to kill us?” 

“I think I might just use one sheet for every word: Sorry, I, Don’t, Want, To.” Cher counted on her fingers with a snort.

Daphne tugged at her bottom lip with her pinkie. “Maybe Frankie can use one of the spells from her secret journal to erase this essay from Sinistra’s mind.”

“That spell already exists, you toad.” Pansy swung the door open with several food items floating behind her, a slice of pumpkin bread levitating into Frankie’s waiting hands. “It’s called Obliviate, it has murderous side effects, and, next week it’s Reed’s turn to get the food.”

“Thank you Pans,” Cher cheered, mouth full of a danish pastry.

“Plus, the boys were bugging us to sit with them more often.” Pansy sat beside Frankie, parchment in hand. Daphne rolled her eyes.

“It’s one day a week, they’ll get over it eventually.”

“The students at Uagadou are so lucky. They have a good Astronomy program and they live in a cloud.” 

Cher scoffed. “They don’t live in a cloud, Pans, They live in a castle-that’s on a cloud. It’s very particular.”

“I want to live in a castle.”

“You idiot, you do.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you bloody mean?”

“Nothi-whatever-what are we doing for Hogsmeade tomorrow?”

~

Draco. Bloody. Malfoy. 

He walks around the school all high and mighty, like he owns the place, yet he acts like a right prat to many of its inhabitants. It’s like the boy was born with a stick up his arse. Yet, Frankie knew how he was raised, not that it’s an excuse. He doesn’t want to be the way he is, but he’s not some broken boy for her to fix. 

She’s had many conversations in the common room with Malfoy after nights of nightmares. She’s shared hugs that linger a second too long and strange glances during lectures. His stone grey eyes held an emotion behind them that she couldn’t understand. It made her uncomfortable, the strange buzz on her skin where his hand met. The fluttery feeling in the pit of her stomach when they got too close. She didn’t like it. It made her feel like a creep.

She sees the way he looks at Cher. Frankie doesn’t compare to a golden, legs-for-days goddess with a waist the same circumference as Frankie’s thigh. Besides, a Malfoy should be with someone the same physical caliber as him. Frankie’s mother prayed to the ghost of Merlin that Frankie would blossom into a beautiful flower, but as her mother continuously reminded her, 

“You are a disgrace. Nothing but a weed in a garden of perfection.”

It’s not hard to believe. Many pureblood parents held a disdain for their children in private. Frankie was lucky to have someone like Kendra. Other teenagers didn’t have anyone. Frankie was lucky, not special. A mere weed, removable by a weak pull. A thorn on an otherwise perfect rose, fit to be plucked, ignored by onlookers.

Draco Malfoy was never written in the stars for someone like Frankie. 

Not that she liked him or anything. He was, as stated before, a right prat. A good looking one, but a prat nonetheless. They didn’t talk much, at all, instead seeking solace in the late hours of the night, a deep bond hidden from their friends. How could two people who were supposedly so perfect, be so broken?

~

pariet lilium.

chapter two

[livralph]

Two hours of peace

Simon

Baz has his face pressed into my stomach. We’re on the sofa in the living room which the rest of his family almost completely neglects— Daphne doesn’t like the kids going in here because the furniture is all too expensive to be damaged. Baz said that she’d be okay with the two of them being in there because he was careful and even though I’m really not he said Daphne doesn’t know me well enough to know that. I think everyone knows me well enough to know I could shatter a styrofoam cup just by looking at it.

There’s a chance Baz is asleep. We’ve been lying on this sofa for an hour and he’s barely moved since we sat down. Or, since I sat down with my my legs across the sofa, and he dropped on top of my legs. Eventually, he ended up laying between them. With his face shoved into my stomach. It can’t be comfortable. His arms are pushing into his chest and my legs at odd angles, and I’m not entirely sure how easy it can be for him to breath given that his nose feels smushed into me.

I can’t hear anyone but him. The house is huge though, so I’m not surprised. When we left everyone they were in the kitchen, at the opposite end of the house. Fiona and Malcom had started gently arguing, Daphne was trying to feed her youngest children, and Mordelia looked like she wanted to leave as soon as she could. It’s not like I can say something about that though because, as much as I like Baz’s family, they’re a lot. He dragged me out the second Fiona raised her voice a little above a whisper and Mordelia jumped in with whatever opinion she had on the situation. I think maybe Baz lied when I asked how old she was. No seven year old I’ve met before has known literally anything about politics— but I’ve mostly only met Normal kids. And this family is as far from Normal as it gets.

Before he sat with me — on me — Baz waved his wand towards a docking station in the corner and used thank you for the music to get it to play whatever it was that was already lined up. He doesn’t like ABBA. I said as much but he just mumbled something about them being useful. When the soundtrack for Mama Mia! started playing I nearly laughed. Baz just huffed and dropped onto the sofa with me.

My hands have been sat awkwardly at my sides for the entire hour we’ve been sat doing nothing, and I’m starting to get a little bit restless. Even though my wings are stretched out behind me as limply as I can hold them and I’m trying not to flap them and break anything, it’s not like I can trust myself. It’s impossible for me to stay still for very long now. Penny thinks that it’s because I can’t use my magic at the moment and that because I had so much that was constantly bubbling to the surface I technically was never doing absolutely nothing. Now that’s not happening I find it harder to stay still. Apparently. Penny thinks so.

I move my hands to Baz’s hair, running my fingers through it carefully so that I have something to do with them. So that I don’t accidentally knock the vase on the sideboard behind me onto the floor and break it. Fingers don’t catch a single knot. After a few minutes I mostly stop moving my hand out of annoyance. Even if I brushed my hair ten times a day there it would still be impossible to get a brush straight through it. Also, it’s not like I’m a very gentle person, and I don’t want to wake him up. He hasn’t been sleeping much, and I keep waking up in the middle of the night only to see he’s stood next to his open window looking out. One of my fingers is still softly twirling a strand of hair around it, hopefully too softly for him to feel it.

He stirs a little bit in my lap, face pressing against my stomach harder than it had been and also leaning his head back into one of my hands a little. Baz twists around to look at me and I sigh deeply. He pouts a little bit and copies my sigh. “Why did you stop?” I can hear the pout as he speaks. It’s even more pronounced in his voice than it is on his face.

“Thought you were asleep.”

“I’m never asleep.” His hand reaches up and holds mine against his head to coax me into moving it again.

“You’re like a cat.” I think this a lot. He does act like a cat. The fact that he pretended to hate me and acted like I was the worst person in the world when he was actually obsessed with me only backs it up. One of the homes I went to had a cat, which is how I know they’re weird like that. She scratched my hand when I was trying to give her attention, then when I didn’t she followed me around meowing.

“Cats are evil, Snow.” My hand is back to stroking Baz’s hair, trying to run my fingers through it even though most of it is now wedged between in his head and my stomach. My thumb gently brushes against his cheekbone. It almost seems like he leans into the touch.

I think I’m smiling at him. Have I been smiling at him the whole time? There’s a chance I have. All I’ve done for an hour is watch him as he rested on my stomach while he apparently wasn’t sleeping. Penny says I’m always smiling at him now, but I always say it’s not true. We barely spend time actually together now. He’s at Watford, I’m at Penny’s or Agatha’s. Even if all the while I am thinking about being at Watford with him. “You’re evil.” I retort, cupping his cheek in my hand. This time he is definitely pressing his face into it.

“Maybe.” Then he shrugs, which is awkward from the way he’s lying and somehow his hair ends up caught under him in the motion and we have to move away from each other so that he can sort it out. My legs are still on the sofa, and he’s kneeling between them. Baz uses a hair tie on his wrist to pull back the shoulder length hair in to a bun. It’s horrifically messy, and I can already tell half of it must be still falling out over the back of his neck. Usually he’d look in the mirror and fix it, but he just rearranged himself to have his legs either side of mine then falls heavily against my chest. Somehow he manages to push his arms to be hugging me around the middle and I want to laugh. Baz is not clingy.

“You’re being weird.” I say, allowing his head to tuck under my chin and wrapping my arms around him.

He digs his nails into the base of where my wings join to my back, where his finger tips ended up resting. Not so hard, just enough that it twinges for the second he holds them there. When he loosens his grip again the feeing is gone. “I feel weird. Constantly. The house is too full.” The house isn’t full. There are nine people in it and it could fit a bit over twenty five. I’ve been in care homes with this many people in that barely had room for seven. I don’t say anything though. “I just want to be somewhere with you.”

I tense up at his words. Not on purpose; my stomach dropped and my body just sort of followed suit. It wasn’t in a bad way. It was in a way that felt very much like I couldn’t exactly process the words.

“Sorry.” He mutters, pressing his nose up against my neck softly, touching it to my pulse point. His lips brush my Adam’s apple and I swallow. What time is it? We’ve been here an hour and Daphne was feeding the youngest three. So maybe there’s another hour left until we collect our food from the kitchen.

“We’re alone now.” I point it out even though he knows. We’re alone and mostly will be until tomorrow when Baz has to take Mordelia on her daily walk and listen to her talk about how annoying the youngest three are when she can’t leave the house. Baz keeps saying that his siblings barely leave the house anyway. I’m beginning to think she sees him as more of an older cousin or cool uncle than she does a brother who she can irritate. I’m also not going to point out that’s it’s a little bit ironic that she annoys her older brother while complaining about her younger siblings annoying her. Baz sits further back on my thighs and looks at me.

“I suppose, it’s just... I can live with my family. Three out of four of my siblings are barely sentient, the fourth I actually get on with. Daphne is lovely— too lovely really, I don’t understand her.” He scrunches his nose up in this way that makes him pull a face that I really, really should not find ridiculously attractive, but I do. Everything he does is so gorgeous, even the horrible faces he pulls. Thinking about it, I probably like it because they’re the faces he’d always make back at Watford when we were just roommates who hated each other . “My father just doesn’t talk about uncomfortable subjects, which I can live with, and Fiona does nearly nothing but talk about those subjects, which I can also live with.”

I want to smooth the crease that’s left between his eyebrows after he’s finished. I lift my hands and tangle one in his hair already loosening hair, using the other to brush away the sharp expression on his face. “What about me?” We’ve spent basically seven and a half years sharing a room. I know I’m terrible. We’re sharing a room and a bed most nights even though there’s a room set up for me next door to Baz’s. I had been going to sleep in there but I’d wake up with Baz in the bed too so I’ve started just going to sleep in his room.

Baz sighs deeply and rests his forehead on mine gently, pressing our noses together a little bit at he does. Then his kisses me. Three times. On the lips. Holding my face in his hands. “You’re messy. You watch me eat my food. I put clothes out to wear the next day and then when I wake up you’re wearing them. You hog the duvet. You freak out about the wraiths. My whole family adores you. You don’t pick up your clothes off the bathroom floor. You use two in one shampoo and conditioner.” Every single word sounds condescending and exasperated. Each sentence is punctuated by a kiss to my lips. It’s weird, because even if the way he’s saying the words is normal, the affection they’re being wrapped in is not what would usually accompany what he’s saying, and— Baz is not usually one for bursts of affection. Not ones like this at least. And now it’s me sighing, but because he’s holding one of the gentle kisses longer than the rest.

“Right.” I mumble. I don’t know where he’s going with this. Maybe he isn’t going anywhere and he’s done talking and will now flop back onto my chest and pretend to sleep until Daphne comes to find us so we can take our food up to our room.

“I wouldn’t have it another way, Simon.” He mumbles, a few inches away from my face, but not close enough to feel the breath from his words. I want him to kiss me again. I want him to talk between kisses and make me laugh and make everything feel normal again because it’s been so, so long since things felt normal between us. They never really did and I just want them to. His hands are pushing through my curly hair that is too long, coming across a few knots which pull, but I ignore it because it’s nice. He’s nice. This is nice.

I kiss him, holding the back of his neck in my hands, thumbing gently across the base up to his hairline. Even after everything, hearing Baz say my first name is an insanely rare thing to happen. It always catches me off guard and I never know what the hell to do when he says it. So I break the kiss and say the first thing that comes into my head. “Tyrannus.” He stares at me. I stare back, trying to keep my face as straight and utterly unamused as his, when a hand hits me over the back of the head. “What the fuck?” I mutter, taking my hand from his hair and rubbing the back of my head gently.

“Merlin and Morgana, Snow. Let us have something nice.” He’s shuffled back away from me. Now he’s sat on my knees. They’re above the tiny gap between the sofa cushions and it’s not comfortable at all. It actually hurts a little bit.

“You called me Simon literally just now.” I try and change the angle my legs are at and Baz sits further back, at the opposite end of the sofa, staring across the room darkly. I curl my legs up to my chest, and look at him. Not everyone has self restraint. “Come back.” I say. Maybe I whined a little bit, but if Baz noticed that he didn’t acknowledge it, just pulled the sleeves of his jumper a little further over his hands. Actually I think it’s my jumper, because it’s an old Watford one which definitely never could have fit him properly. I’m pretty sure his family gets his uniform tailored to fit him perfectly.

“I am not going to come back you complete heathen. You called me Tyrannus.” Baz huffs the words at me, sneering, before also tucking his knees up under his chin and wrapping his arms around his legs and managing to hold the hands with my sleeves over to his face, covering the lower half of it.

I straighten one of my legs out and poke his thigh with my toe. He glares at me for a second but doesn’t do anything else. “You called me Simon.”

“If calling you Simon means that you call my Tyrannus then I am never even going to think of doing it again.” The words are muffled by the sleeves covering his nose and mouth. Baz turns his head to me again but this time doesn’t glare. He’s just... looking.

“I won’t call you it. I don’t even know why I did. Just come back.” I stretch my other leg out towards him and poke his ankle with this one. Baz rolls his eyes but squishes himself between the back of the sofa and my side without saying anything. He wraps his arms around my middle and puts his head is on my shoulder. A few minutes pass in quiet apart from the sound of an ABBA song (I think it’s the one Meryl Streep sings to Amanda Seyfried when she’s upset about her growing up. I don’t know. I’ve seen Mama Mia! once, and it was years ago). Then one of the twins starts screaming from somewhere far off, then the other follows suit.

Baz sighs heavily. I snort. One of his legs hooks over one of mine gently and he kicks my foot with his heel.

“What about Basilton?” I say into his hair.

Baz hums in response, but the sound doesn’t tell me an answer because it’s to neutral. “Just call me Baz.” I can feel his jaw move against my shoulder as he speaks. It might have been to conceal that he was smiling but I could still hear it in his voice.

“But is it better than Tyrannus?”

“Snow, I chose basilton over Tyrannus. What do you think?” This time when he spoke his words were slower and he yawned through the last few words. The drawling tone he tried to use didn’t really come through.

I tilt my head and press my lips to the top of Baz’s head and stay still apart from where my hand has come to rest on his upper arm; my thumb is brushing up and down on the sleeve of his jumper. His breathing has slowed slightly in the time since he spoke so I think he’s actually managed to fall asleep. That’s why I barely whisper my next words; he’s a light sleeper. “What about Basil?”

He presses closer to me, which I don’t think I expected. I definately didn’t expect Baz to be awake enough to reply. A few seconds pass and Baz ends up with his face pressed into my neck again, lying on top of me. “It’s nice, Simon.” I reposition my arms to be around his waist, feeling him fall asleep against me and, after mere minutes, I’m nodding off as well.

[thegryffindorprincess]

Save His Soul (Chapter One)//Draco Malfoy x OC reader Fan Fiction

A/N: Hi Loves! This chapter is pretty much setting a bit of the scene, though we finally get some Draco Malfoy action! I hope you enjoy this part, i’ve got a lot of cool things coming up!

PLAYLIST

Set: post war

Word count: 1,342

Warnings: swearing, drug refrences, light sex refrences. 

Tuesday Fawley shot up in bed and flung the covers off of her body. The knocking on the door persisted, and became louder. She grabbed her dressing gown off of her door and wrapped it around her body while running towards the door of her flat. She flung it open. She was met with Pansy Parkison’s slightly pissed off face, and a girl she’d never seen before.

“Finally!” The black haired girl huffed. The other girl elbowed her side. “Sorry. Can we come in?” Tuesday shrugged and moved out of the way of the door, allowing them to enter. 

“Nice place.” Pansy said flatly. The girl beside her coughed lightly. “Oh yeah, this is Daphne,” Tuesday raised her brow, “my girlfriend.” Daphne and Tuesday politely shook hands. “So, you may uh be wondering why i’m here.” Tuesday had a bit of an idea of what was coming, but patiently waited for it to come from her mouth. Pansy scanned the room and fixed her gaze on the folded over front page of yesterdays Wizard Weekly magazine that was sitting on the coffee table. “You’ve seen then?” Pansy motioned towards the paper. The front page read: ‘Exclusive: I slept with Draco Malfoy, and here’s what I learnt.’ 

“Yeah.” Tuesday replied bluntly, running a hand through her brown hair. “I don’t really know what that has to do with me though.” Pansy let out a slight scoff. Daphne shot her a glance. 

“It has everything to do with you.” Pansy retorted. She suddenly stood up and grabbed the magazine. “This,” she said unfolding the paper, “has everything,” she thrust it at Tuesday, it landing on her lap, “to do with you.” Tuesday sat silently, watching Draco’s face move on the front page. “And that’s why we’re here.” Pansy leant back on the sofa with her legs crossed watching Tuesday carefully. 

“Whatever you’re going to suggest,” Tuesday shot a glance at her, “the answer will be no.” She stood up then and, magazine in hand, dropped it emotionally into the recycling bin. “I have worked long and hard to forget about that boy, and I don’t need that progress to be fucked up by his actions.” She then almost pulled Pansy out of her chair, and ushered the two towards the door. “So, I think we’re done here.” 

Pansy looked at her again, sadly this time. “I get it.” She whispered as she opened the front door. “But please consider it. Getting back in touch with him. He needs you.” With that, the two women left, leaving Tuesday alone again in her flat. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Her day at work had been appalling. Even worse than usual. Tuesday’s heels clattered along the pavement as she headed towards the Leaky Cauldron. It was raining heavily, and her umbrella was taking the strain. She made it though and walked into the pub with a sigh. She shuffled in and placed her umbrella and coat onto the rack.

“Tuesday!” She heard a beaming voice call out, “What’re you after?” She smiled as she walked to the bar. The voice of course belonging to Hannah Abbott, the land lady. 

“Fire whisky please Hannah.” Hannah poured her the drink and slid it across the bar. 

“Long day?” She asked cleaning some glasses while eyeing Tuesday’s tired body language. 

“Something like that.” Hannah knew that was as much conversation she’d get out of her today, and smiling sympathetically, moved along to take someone else’s order. Tuesday grabbed today’s issue of Wizard Weekly from her bag and began to read the front page. It read ‘EXCLUSIVE: Leaked photos of Draco Malfoy with suspicious white powder! Sex and drug addict?’ She grabbed the paper from the table and moved to the garden outside with her drink. She slipped onto one of the gazebo-covered benches and lit a cigarette, smoking and reading the front page.

“You know,” a familiar voice said gently, “you really shouldn’t read the shit they put out there.” In a little bit of shock, Tuesday looked up through her big, brown eyes to be met with steely grey ones. Him. “I didn’t know places like this were your scene.” The owner of the voice slid in opposite her. Draco smirked at her silence and sipped his drink, not breaking eye contact once. Her voice was stuck in her throat and Tuesday simply stared at him with wide eyes. He looked amazing. He was taller than before, his platinum blonde hair flopping a little on his face and he was wearing a black turtle neck and suit. 

“Hi...” Tuesday eventually pushed out, a little cautiously. She closed the paper, and turned it around so the front cover was now face down on the table.

“How’re you love?” He asked quietly, smiling a little while studying her face. She crinkled her nose up and shrugged. He laughed a little. “Bad?” God she was cute. 

“Bad day, that’s all.” Really she wanted to scream. She wanted to hit him and yell at him for what he did to her. She also wanted to jump at him and kiss him until he had no choice but to stay there forever. She wanted to tell him it wasn’t a bad day, it had been a bad four and a half years without him. But she didn’t. 

“We all have those.” He answered so calmly it almost annoyed her. “So, has your day been improved or made worse by my sudden appearance.” Draco raised an eyebrow and although he was attempting to hold up a calm composure, he was secretly anything but. 

“We’ll have to see won’t we.” Tuesday looked in his eyes again. And then, despite doing everything she could, she began to cry. Gentle translucent tears rolled from her eyes and she quickly lifted her pale hands to wipe them away. ‘Typical’ she thought. 

“Hey hey hey.” Draco stood up and slid onto her side of the bench, placing his arms around her. “What’s all this?” Tuesday sniffled a little and tried to ignore the glowing feeling in her tummy. 

“I’m just...” she unhooked herself from his grip and placed her head between her hands, “honestly Draco i’m still angry at you.” He looked at her carefully and screwed up his face. 

“You should be.” He gently shuffled forward so their faces were closer together. “I was a coward. In fact, I still am. Addicted to a culture of me, me, me. I protected myself and not my morals. I gave into temptation. I still do.” She turned a little to face him. “Actually, I’m angry at me too.”  Tuesday nodded a little. Draco once more turned to look at her.

“But...” he said breathing out gently, “I’d really like to be friends.” She looked down a little awkwardly. “Only if thats what you want.” She mentally contemplated what he’d said, a million things running through her head. 

“Okay.” She nodded. “I would like to be friends.” Draco grinned and pulled her into a gentle hug. Just then, she heard a phone ringing. He pulled it from his pocked motioning that he had to take it. She politely nodded, attempting to hide her bemusement at the mighty Draco Malfoy owning a muggle phone. 

“No Astoria. In fact, I don’t wish to sleep with you again. I’m too busy.” He snapped this to the girl on the other side. “Don’t phone this number again, okay?” He slammed the phone on the table huffing a little. Tuesday sat quietly. but a little smugly waiting for him to talk again. 

“Listen,” Draco turned to her smiling, “To pay hommage to our new friendship, would you like to come to a ministry party on Friday?” He shifted a little to get closer. “I know it’s short notice but all of your other friends will be there too so,” Draco sighed nervously, “I’d like you to come.” Tuesday smiled at him, and before placing a quick kiss to his cheek replied: “I’d love to.” 

[snow-pitch-grimm]

Something I’ll Never Have

Summary: Baz and Simon have a fight while at Baz’s parents’ house. There are feelings.

BAZ

I slam the door behind me and stalk down the hall, feeling too angry to think clearly.

"Baz?"

I notice Mordelia standing at her door looking at me curiously.

Damn it to Hell! Are all my siblings up here. Did they hear us?

"Hello, Mordelia. What are you doing up here? Shouldn't you be downstairs,"

She nods, "I spilled something on my dress so father said I should change,"

So everyone else was still downstairs. Good.

"Are you okay, Baz?" asks Mordelia, quietly.

I smile at her, "I'm fine, Mor. Simon and I had a bit of a fight, that's all,"

"Oh. Ok," she says nodding. The answer seems to be enough for her.

"Now, let's go downstairs and make sure Fiona doesn't hex Father," I tell her.

She giggles and nods, tugging me all the way downstairs.

xxx

SIMON

The sound of the door slam resonates through my bones and I slump down onto the bed.

Damn it!

Great, I just had a big fight with my boyfriend and now I'm sitting in his room in his family's home while he's downstairs with his family. 

How wonderful.

I had been a little skeptical about spending the weekend here. Baz hadn't wanted to leave me but his siblings had begged and even his father had pulled out the 'I miss you, son" card. Feeling bad, I told him I'd come.

The family has been great so far. The kids are the same as before if a little taller. Fiona keeps teasing us, Daphne's being motherly and even Malcolm seems to like me now that I'm no longer connected to the murderous Mage (Penny's words. Not mine).

The problem turned out to be me and Baz. We had had an argument right before coming here, which lead to a stony silence filled car ride which lead to another stupid argument right now.

I sigh and take my phone out.

Baz, even when angry, is not cruel. He's not going to leave me alone in here too long. He'll probably just cool off for a little while and come and get me for dinner.

I text Penny but she's also spending time with her family this weekend so when she responds with ‘busy’, I don't tell her about the fight. I then see if any of my uni friends are free.

No luck.

I took out my laptop and tried to work on as assignment but couldn't concentrate. In the end, I flopped down on the bed to wait for Baz to come back.

Just Great

xxx

BAZ

My family knows something's wrong.

Daphne asks me to help in the kitchen, my sisters pick up on my mood and deliberately try to be cute. Fiona annoys my Father more than usual and he tries to be a good sport about it but his eyebrow keeps twitching, and frankly, it's as hilarious as it was when I was ten.

Slowly my anger ebbs away and I start to feel a little ridiculous. The argument wasn't even over anything substantial. We had tiff back at home and because we're both stubborn, neither one of us would apologize in the car which them translated into another stupid argument in my room.

Now, with a clear head, I can admit that I was just nervous at bringing Simon here but they were actually really great about it. So great that I was completely thrown. I pretty much reverted to my Watford persona, leading to Simon to push back. Hence the yelling match.

"Basilton?"

I look up and everyone's looking at me a little concerned.

"Daphne called your name four times, boyo. You alright?" says Fiona

"Oh, sorry. Yes. I'm fine," I say, standing up, "I'm just gonna go see what Simon's up to,"

The adults quickly give each other a look.

Oh, how I hate that.

"Wonderful," says Daphne, "Why don't you bring him down here. Dinner is almost ready,"

I nod and quickly walk up out the room and up the stairs. It's quiet compared to downstairs and I start to feel guilty. I shouldn't have left Simon alone. This place is strange to him and it's my job to make him feel welcome around my family. My Father's 'Welcome again Mr. Snow. Please call me Malcolm' did a better job than me.

I take a deep breath and open the door not knowing what to expect. I peek inside and see Simon lying on the bed face down. I'm a little apprehensive but then Simon raises his head and blinks sleepily. Sighing in relief, I smile. His eyes are a little red but sleepy red and not crying red. More than anything, he just seems a little confused and touseled from his nap.

And he looks so adorable.

"Good nap?" I ask

He blinks again and sits up, "Yeah, I was going to wait for you but then I guess I fell asleep,"

I grimace, feeling guilty again.

"Snow I-" I begin

"Baz-" he starts at the same time

We grin at each other.

"You first," he says

I sit by him and take his hand.

"I'm really sorry. I was being stupid and ridiculous. Our fight was unnecessary and could have been avoided if I had just admitted that I was a little a nervous bringing you here,"

He smiles and squeezes my hands, "Me too, Baz. I guess it's just easier to revert to what we used to to do at Watford,"

I smile, "But we're working on it,"

"Definitely," he smiles and hugs me close

I press my face into his neck and take a deep breath. Simon's hugs are always nice.

The moment is interrupted when Simon's stomach rumbles loudly. Very loudly.

Simon pulls away laughing, "Oops,"

"Come on," I say, pulling him up, "Dinner's probably set up by now,"

My heart flutters as he slips his hand in mine and smiles.

"Let's go,"

SIMON

Dinner is quieter then lunch. Probably because the children are tired.

It would be fine. Except that Baz's parents and aunt keep glancing between us.

"So are you two finding everything fine?" asks Daphne

Malcolm and Fiona also look up from their food.

But not at me. They're looking at Baz. Because they're his family and they're worried about him.

I feel a knot beginning in my stomach.

"Of course Mother," Baz says to her.

She smiles brilliantly and finally their eyes turn to me. I quickly put on a smile even though my heart feels heavy.

Malcolm nods once more and goes back to his food. Fiona's eyes linger on Baz again. There's still a bit of concern there.

I don't think anyone's ever looked at me quite like that.

And with a sinking heart, I realize what I'm feeling.

Envy.

I hate it.

BAZ

Simon had told me he was fine and he had certainly seemed fine. That was until we got to the table.

Now we're sitting in my room and again I'm wondering what's going on.

"Snow?" I say as I watch him ruffle through our bag.

"Hmm,"

"Simon, please look at me,"

His shoulders drop and he sighs.

When he turns, I feel my heart stop.

He's crying.

"Simon, darling. What wrong?" I say, moving forward and trying to hold him.

He shies away from me though.

"Nothing," he says, shaking his head, "It's stupid,"

"Snow?" I say as I watch more tears fall from his eyes, "Please. You're scaring me,"

"You're gonna think I'm being an idiot,"

"Never," I say fiercely, "Nothing is stupid if it makes you feel bad,"

"I tried to text Penelope after our fight. She wasn't available and neither were any of our other friends,"

I frown, "I thought you said you were fine,"

"I was- I am. This isn't about the fight Baz,"

"Then What-"

Simon hakes his head and pulls at his curls a bit. It breaks my heart to see him like this.

"I'm not doing this right," said Simon, fists clenched.

I gently take his hands away from his hair and turn him toward me.

"Take a deep breath and try again," I tell him

He complies and thinks for a moment before turning to face me properly.

"When you walked out of here, you were angry. What did you do?"

"I went downstairs talked with my family, felt stupid and came up here to apologize," 

"Right and remember the fight we had six months ago. What did you do?"

"Called Fiona and ranted,"

"Okay, and you know what I did?"

I shake my head.

"Today I tried to contact Penelope, it didn't work. That day she was there but she was studying so I told her I was fine even though I wanted to talk about the fight and its fine. It wasn't that bad, I barely remember it. But moments like that and this one make me realize what I don't have,"

"I don't understand, Simon," I tell him

"A family Baz," says, Simon, "I don't have a family,"

I'm stunned. This is not where I expected this to go. And honestly, I don't know what to say. 

Taking advantage of my silence Simon continues, "I don't have a mother I can call and say 'Hi mum my boyfriend is being stupid’ or a Father who can I let myself be distracted by. I don't have a crazy aunt that introduces me to hard liquor or extended family I can joke about. I don't have younger siblings that look at me like I'm the best and worst thing to happen,"

He wraps his arm around himself, "I don't have a family I can take you home to,"

Now I have tears in my eyes too and my heart feels like it's going to break. I had no idea Simon was feeling like this.

I gently touch his shoulder and he completely crumples into me. I pull his close until his upper body is resting against my chest, his face tucked against my neck.

"It's usually fine you know, I'm used to it. But today at dinner, they were all so concerned, even Malcolm. They tried not to show it but they were. We had a normal couple argument but they still wanted to make sure you were fine. And at times like that it all just hits me, you know,"

"Simon. I'm sorry. I shouldn't lt have left-"

He shakes his head, "No Baz. I told you I'm fine with that. I was asleep for most of it. And they're your family, you're supposed to feel happy around them. I just- It's something I'll never have and sometimes it sucks. And sometimes it just really really hurts, you know,"

He's crying again, soaking my sweater with his tears. I hold him close, giving him my shoulder to rest on. There's nothing else I can do. There's absolutely nothing in the word that can make this better.

So, I just hold him.

[xwaywardhuntress]

Rock & Roll Mystery (Part One)

Summary: Round 2 of Scooby-doo featuring Y/N.

Pairings: Dean x reader,  Fred x reader

Warnings: Based on the Scooby-Doo & KISS movie. 

Word Count: 1700+

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or Scooby-Doo. This is fanfiction only. Please do not redistribute my writings on other sites, horrible or not. Thanks!

“Guys, check this out.” Dean said as he walked into the kitchen of the bunker with a big goofy smile.

Y/N looked over at Sam from eating her cereal, raising a brow. Sam shrugged as he closed his laptop and got up to follow his brother to who knows where.

You sighed, getting up to follow after the two brothers yelling into the hallway. “This better be worth it Winchester! Those fruit loops ain’t going to eat themselves!”

Dean laughed a few paces ahead of her, “Don’t worry sweetheart, it’ll be worth it!”

“Welcome to the Batcave 2.0!” Dean exclaimed.

You popped your head in after both boys had walked in only to see a new and improved entertainment room. There was new lounge chairs, pointed out by Dean, and then a new television that had been propped up against the wall already. You walked over to one of the lounge chairs taking a seat. “Ooo...comfy.”

Dean walked over to your side, turning a lever on the chair which propped the bottom portion up, lifting your legs. He smirked as you snuggled into the chair. You wouldn’t admit it to Dean, but this chair made it slightly worth it as it was an upgrade from the last ones.

Dean continued to point out to Sam all the gadgets he had personally added, when a bright purple light consumed the room.

THUMP!

“Ow!” you expressed as you rubbed your bottom from an unexpected fall to a dirt ground after you had been sure you were just sitting on a chair. “What the hell was…” You stopped mid-sentence in disbelief of what you were seeing before you… everything was in cartoon form! “Uh, guys...I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.”

“Ahhh! You’re a cartoon! I’m a cartoon!” Dean and Sam had seemed to realize at the same time as they spoke in unison. “Again!”

Y/N got up, dusting her clothes as she too looked at her cartoon hands and then at the boys. Surprisingly, you weren’t freaked out about this very supernatural experience instead, you thought it was actually kind of cool. You’d heard about the last time the boys entered the cartoon Scooby-Doo and you actually hoped it would be the same situation.

“How do you think this happened again?” Sam asked.

“I swear I didn’t get the television for free this time. I actually bought it. There was a Halloween sale.” Dean answered shrugging.

Sam gave his bitch face, “Right…a Halloween sale on a television, not candy.”

“Man, I hope I don’t have to destroy another tv.” The older Winchester muttered to himself.

“Hey look! It’s the Impala!” You yelled aloud interrupting Dean and Sam’s conversation.

“At least the car made it with us again.” Sam commented with a sigh.

Dean ran up to Baby, laying on the hood as if hugging it. “Thank you, cartoon gods.”

“So which cartoon do you think we’re in this time?” Sam asked walking over to the Impala.

“Who cares? Whatever cartoon world this is, we’ve got it handled.” Dean had stood back up as he flashed a cartoonish smile at Sam and Y/N.

You and Sam looked at each other exchanging a questionable look. You walked over to the Impala, getting into the backseat, “Let’s just do what we do best and drive to see if we can figure out where here is. Come on slowpokes!”

Dean couldn’t help but grin as he made his way over to Baby. “I couldn’t agree more!” Dean yelled as he got into the driver’s seat, Sam following behind.

The drive was pretty long. You all had passed by diners and through small towns, but nothing gave any hint as to what cartoon you three were in.

“Oh. my. God.” Dean was wide-eyed, turning everyone’s attention to what he had been looking at coming to a stop on the road.

“Oh no. Not again…” Sam groaned.

“The Mystery Machine!” You couldn’t believe what you were seeing and you couldn’t deny that things just got more fun for you if you thought you were in a certain cartoon you loved watching as a kid.

“Looks like we’re in one of the best cartoons.” Dean smiled.

“We’re in Scooby-Doo!” Both Sam and you said in unison. Your voice was filled with excitement while Sam’s sounded more concerned.

Yes! You exclaimed internally.

Dean could see the excitement radiate off of you. Hell, he was excited too. He wouldn’t admit it out loud with Sam around, but he was. He parked the Impala right next to the mystery machine.

You immediately got out of the car to check out the van. When you looked through the front windows, you didn’t see anybody there.

Dean had made it besides you, as he noticed the disappointment on your face.  He placed his hand on your back, gently rubbing it. “Hey, they have to be around here somewhere.” He tried reassuring you.

“Uh guys, was that always across the street from us?” Sam yelled over, getting out from the Impala.

Both you and Dean looked across the street and low and behold, there was an amusement park that magically appeared out of nowhere. At the entrance gates, there was a group you would recognize anywhere. It was the Scooby gang, but some were dressed as KISS band members. Your eyes sparkled in excitement.

Dean’s eyes sparkled as well, for a different reason. The amusement park was called KISS world, honoring the rock and roll band KISS. Today had also happened to be where KISS was to perform for Halloween at the amusement park.

“We definitely need to check this out.” You expressed with excitement as you found yourself skipping over to the Scooby gang.

“Wait! Y/N we should…” Sam reached out his hand as if he could stop you.

Dean placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder, “There’s no stopping her. So we might as well follow her.” The older Winchester followed after Y/N, almost skipping as well.

Sam groaned to himself, following after his brother and Y/N.

Reaching close distance to the Scooby gang, you overheard them discussing the idea of sneaking in since the guard in the front wouldn’t let them through. Daphne had seemed as motivated as ever to see KISS.

A mischievous grin spread across your face. Sneaking in was part of the hunting life. It would still be Easy Peasy. You popped your head out from behind Fred, whom the gang had all been facing. “Excuse me, I think I can help you all get in.”

All of the Scooby gang turned to face you. “Who are you?” Daphne asked, placing a hand on her hip.

“Names Y/N. Big fan of you guys but also an expert in sneaking into places.” You announced with a big smile on your face.

“What places do you sneak into exactly? Your profession wouldn’t be a robber, would it?” Daphne questioned, almost accusingly.  You hadn’t noticed, but Fred seemed to have grown heart eyes as he stared at you.

As you were about to answer Daphne, another voice interrupted. “She’s definitely not a robber. Think of her more as a detective. She’s the best around.” Dean disclosed as he came to stand beside you, winking over at you.

The Scooby gang gasped at his appearance.

You looked anywhere else besides Dean as you could feel your cheeks burning. You had a crush on the older Winchester since you two had first met, and damn his cartoon version for being as good looking as he was in 3D.

Luckily, another appearance took any eyes off of you while you regained your normal composure.

“Sam!” Velma’s glasses had turned into heart eyes for a second before she had made her way in front of the taller Winchester.

“Uh, hi Velma.” Sam smiled awkwardly.

“Hold on. You guys remember us?” Dean asked raising an eyebrow.

“Of course, Dean. Why wouldn’t we?” Daphne smiled at him.

Dean smirked.

Back to normal, you rolled your eyes. You were aware Daphne was one of Dean’s fantasies. Hearing that she remembered him must have made him feel overjoyed. The same way he made you feel from time to time when he complimented you, kind of like earlier when he called you the best around.

“Hi Y/N. We haven’t met yet. I’m Fred.” The ascot-wearing mystery solver introduced himself as he took your hand into his and kissed the top of it.

It surprised you, but it was a nice gesture that you rarely received from men.

Fred seemed to be admiring your beauty when two throats were cleared.  You turned and saw both Dean and Daphne with unhappy looks. Fred cleared his throat as well as he continued speaking. “That’s Daphne, Velma, Shaggy, and Scooby-doo.” He presented the rest of the gang.

“Awesome!” You exclaimed as you made your way over to Scooby. “Scooby snack to pet you?”

Scooby-doo quickly nodded his head, “Raa! Raa!”

Magically, you pulled out some Scooby snacks from your butt pocket as you tossed one into Scooby’s mouth. You missed the looks on Dean’s and Sam’s face as they looked at each other confused as to how and where you got the Scooby snacks from.

Scooby-Doo happily howled from getting the snack as he wagged his tail and then bent his head forward towards you.

You almost squealed as you began rubbing Scooby’s head, behind his ear, and then under his chin. Scooby-doo was just too adorable for you.

While you were preoccupied spoiling Scooby Doo with attention, Fred and Velma explained to Dean and Sam the situation they were in. Basically, everyone but Fred wanted to see KISS’s special concert at KISS WORLD till they heard about a witch scaring people away which caused the amusement park to close its door for the time being.

You had heard everything the gang was telling the boys. Eventually, Scooby-doo got called over. The gang went to their mystery machine and changed into their normal clothing.

Fred came straight over to you after. “So you’re an expert in sneaking in, right?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah.  I am.” You smiled, placing your hands on your hips proudly.

“You take the lead then and we’ll follow you in.” The ascot-wearing blonde held out one of his arm signaling you to go first as he smiled.

Dean and Daphne had their eyebrows creased together and a little bit of green shown as they watched Fred and Y/N’s interaction. Sam couldn’t help but snicker. He knew exactly why the two seemed to be frustrated. The younger Winchester couldn’t wait to see how this would all turn out for everyone.

Next: Part Two

Feedback is welcome!

[jessethejoyful]

the real super secret chapter

okay here’s the art school au blurb with the link and the whole thing

this isn’t an epilogue so much as it’s a continuing blurb, which I hope to do more of, within the bounds of that fic. I hope to do some featuring penny and agatha as well :)

read it here on ao3

words: 2,040

SIMON

I genuinely don’t know how I let Baz talk me into this. Maybe it’s just because I’m weak. Weak when it comes to him, absolutely. And I’ve never been good at saying no to anyone.

When he asked me, I was actually flattered. He’s always shy with me, especially about this, and I thought it’d be a nice way to maybe make us more comfortable around each other.

“It won’t take that long,” he’d said, looking sheepish as he sat across from me at our table in Penny’s bakery. We were waiting for her to get off, so we could go see a gallery a town over for an artist that she loves. “It might be a little awkward, but I think you’d enjoy it in the long run. Maybe. I understand if you don’t want to though -”

“Baz,” I’d said, cutting him off and reaching across the table to grab his hand. “I’d love to. Just tell me when, and I’ll be there.” He’d smiled, and everything was grand.

So that’s how I find myself, a few days later, completely nude, hunched over in a chair in Baz’s sitting room. I can feel my legs starting to shake, and the crick in my neck is already so sharp I’m worried I’ll never be able to straighten it again. There’s a very bright lamp shining up at me from the floor, which I can’t imagine looks very good but Baz had seemed satisfied when he’d placed it.

He’s a few feet away, perched stiffly on his stool and his hand brushing in quick, constrained strokes across a canvas. It had taken him nearly an hour just to sketch everything in, and we’re already pushing into two.

Every time I try to say something, he shushes me. I want to snap that I can talk without moving the rest of me, but I’m not trying to pick a fight. I’m just antsy. He’s got music playing over his speakers, soft indie music that I don’t know very well, and I’m brimming with pointless chatter. I want to focus a little less on my aching limbs, or the fact that I’m posing naked for my posh painter boyfriend, who’s only been my boyfriend for two months.

It’s been great, don’t get me wrong. He’s pretty fucking singular, and if I’m being honest, I’m a little obsessed with him. I think he knows it. But he eats it right up, smug git that he is. And I think he’s a little obsessed with me too, so it kind of balances out.

His aunt randomly showed up to visit at the end of December, just out of the blue, no warning. He’d decided to stay here with me for Christmas, instead of returning to his family’s manor (that’s what he called it - Pitch manor. I think he’s richer than I realized, considering his career choice), and his family was apparently none too happy about it. So Fiona just appeared, banging on his door on Boxing Day and demanding he visit with her.

As it turned out, he hadn’t actually told his family why he was staying, just told them he wouldn’t be home. Fiona lamented this to me after we were introduced (me as “Simon, my friend from school,”), really laying it on thick (“So ungrateful! We’re his family! What would my poor late sister say?!” - fun way to discover his mother’s dead), but Baz just rolled his eyes.

“For fuck’s sake, Fiona,” he said, sitting down on the opposite end of the couch from me and crossing his legs. I tried to make it look like we hadn’t just been curled up there together, kicking the blankets off and folding my legs beneath me. “Can you blame me for not wanting to deal with Malcolm and Daphne? They’re exhausting at the best of times, and I just didn’t feel like it. Alright?”

Fiona’s eyes moved slowly to me, and I immediately felt a thrill of fear go up my spine, which was ridiculous, but she’s kind of scary, with this mad white streak of hair tucked into her ponytail and a nose bridge piercing. “Oh, no,” she said, smirking and sitting back in her seat, “I can’t blame you at all. Not one bit.”

Baz didn’t seem bothered, unshakeable as he is, but I was quaking. I also didn’t know if his family knew he was gay. Fiona seemed cool, but Baz is cagey at the best of times, and we’d only been together officially for about a week at that point.

“So, Mr. Snow,” Fiona began.

“Just call him Simon,” Baz snapped at the same time that I said, “Yes ma’am!?” He glared at me like it was my fault his aunt looked like she could murder me with her pinky finger.

“Simon,” she simpered, waving a hand in the air and still smirking, and I thought sneers might be hereditary. “What’s your concentration in, Simon?”

I honestly couldn’t tell if she was mocking me or not, but when I glanced at Baz, he gestured at her tiredly and nodded. “Well - my degree’s in digital animation, specifically 2-D. I do a lot of cartoons otherwise, comics and stuff, but I’m planning to work in animation after uni.” She actually seemed pretty interested and asked me some more about my work, and told me she’d love to see something of mine sometime. I agreed happily, and I could tell Baz was kind of impressed we were getting along so well.

She’d brought a Christmas gift with her (a new mug, this one printed with the words ‘Don’t touch me, peasant’ on the side, which I thought was actually fitting), and told me she would’ve brought me something if she’d realized Baz’s new friend was so chill. Baz actually had a gift for her too, a couple of old vinyls wrapped really nicely, and she seemed pretty excited (It took me a while to decide whether or not Baz actually likes his aunt - I finally determined that he does, but it seems like his family doesn’t really know how to express any emotion other than disgust or cruel amusement).

When Fiona finally left, with a few parting jokes and another heavily sarcastic friend comment, Baz slumped down on his couch and groaned very loudly. I dropped down beside him, grinning, and kissed the side of his jaw because I hadn’t touched him once during the hour or so Fiona had been there.

“I take it you didn’t tell your family about me,” I said drily, and he looked at me sideways.

“My family knows I’m queer,” he said slowly, squeezing my hand tightly like he needed an anchor, “but my father isn’t exactly the most accepting. Fiona is, and so is Daphne, for the most part, but I find it easier to just… not bring it up.”

I rested my head against his shoulder, and he leaned his head against mine, and we sat like that for a bit. “I think Fiona figured us out,” I said after a while, and he snorted.

“She’s a Pitch, unfortunately, so she’s sharper than I’d like. All of my mother’s family is.” I nearly started in on him about his mother, curious about what had happened to her, but I decided that was a discussion for another time.

Now, leaning over in my chair, I let out a small whimper as a sudden twinge of pain goes up my arm. The sound startles Baz, who jerks his hand away from the canvas and blinks at me.

“Are you alright, Simon?” he asks, leaning forward on his stool. His eyes flick to the clock, then widen. “Jesus fuck, we’ve been here nearly two hours - you need a break, come on.”

“I can move?”

“Christ, yes, I’m not trying to kill you.” I slowly push myself upright and try not to groan as I let my sore muscles stretch. Baz watches me for a moment, then seems to remember I’m naked and looks away, blushing to the tips of his ears.

He’d been like this earlier, telling me to strip down but staring at his phone until I was seated. He told me to sit leaning over my legs with my elbows resting on my knees, looking down, and it basically concealed everything. We both stopped blushing after the first half hour, at least. I’d thought it would be more embarrassing, but I remembered the live models I’d drawn in my drawing classes - it had just been tiring, not even remotely sexual, and this was much of the same.

“Can I see it so far?” I ask after I put my pants back on, as well as a dressing gown of his, because his apartment is frigid.

“Absolutely not,” he replies, but I walk over anyways, sliding around behind him before he can stop me. I don’t know a lot about oil paints, I only had to take Painting I, but I’ve been slowly relearning everything while I’ve been around Baz more. He hasn’t done much so far, only blocked in a lot of the colors for the backdrop and the base for me, but it still looks amazing. His blending is so smooth, so precise, while still retaining that touch of a deeper feeling. He blows me away.

I loop my arms around his neck, pressing my lips to his cheek and grinning. Baz is grumpy I’m looking at the unfinished painting, but his hands come up and hold my wrists, his thumb passing across the surface of my skin. “It looks amazing so far.”

“You’re supposed to say that,” he grumbles, but I can tell he’s pleased.

“Yes, I am, but it’s also very true,” I say, straightening and stretching again.

He swivels to look at me, tilting his head. “You’re not too sore, are you? We could always stop for the day. It takes so long to dry, we can do more tomorrow.”

I shake my head, dropping my hands to his lap and leaning over him. “I just need a few minutes. I don’t know if I can do a whole lot more, but another hour or two shouldn’t be bad. Maybe another break somewhere in between.”

Baz nods solemnly, and I capture his lips for a quick kiss. I’m getting to know him more and more, and I know that while he likes the kissing, a lot of the time he’s too anxious to in go for one himself. We’re working on that.

“How about some tea?” I ask as I step into his kitchen, fiddling with the kettle without waiting for a response, which is just a soft grunt of approval from the next room. While the water heats, I go back to Baz and crouch in front of him, where he’s still staring at his canvas, a little lost. He usually looks like this when he paints, but it makes him so soft, and I love it.

I gently take his right hand in both of mine and he looks down at me with that little head tilt I associate with him. “Is your hand hurting?” He cramps up a lot, and usually works through it, but I like to help when I can. I press my fingers into his hand, starting at his wrist and working out toward his palm with my thumbs, then slowly up his forearm. His eyes close, a wince now and then, but I know it helps.

“Thank you,” he whispers when we hear the kettle whistling, and I stoop to give him another kiss before hurrying back to the kitchen.

We drink our tea quietly at the table, after I drag him off that damn stool, and I still get a thrill just looking at him. As far as first boyfriends go, I think I sort of hit the jackpot, even if he is a bit of a bristly neurotic a lot of the time.

A few more minutes, and we return to our places. I strip in the most dramatic way possible, basically a strip-tease, and I can see him snickering, even though he’s trying to hide behind his canvas. We settle back into an easier silence, his music filling the space between us.

[mikebigby-blog]

Netflix Legend of Zelda full season 1 outline

I am pants-shittingly excited about the possibility of a live-action Legend of Zelda series on Netflix.  You’ve heard the rumours.  I’ve heard the rumours.  And I have shitted all of my pants.  I only have pants with shit in them now.  I know what you’re saying out-loud to your computer like a weirdo as you read this blog alone; you’re saying “Mike, just wash your pants” but then I wouldn’t be wearing the pants and the shit would go on the floor.  Think before you speak.

Anyway, this is a serious blog.  Please don’t be put off by my shitty pants, I won’t mention them again from here on out.  

Just imagine.  An actually good live-action Legend of Zelda TV show.

 I have dreamed of this since I was a 11 year old kid when I “wrote” and “directed” an Ocarina of Time movie using my dad’s 20kg VHS cam-corder.  I never finished that movie, so this is literally unfinished business for me.

As the title of this blog suggests, for fun, I’ve put together a treatment for what I think a Legend of Zelda series could be.

If you don’t like it, no worries.  It’s not much more than fan-fiction.  If you DO like it, I dunno, share it with your friends or something.

Format, tone and general thoughts

I think the tone of the show should be light-hearted, weird, occasionally funny, and ultimately epic.  That’s what Zelda is.  I see it as Game of Thrones meets Dirk Gently, kinda.  

I personally think this should be live-action, but it doesn’t have to be, a cartoon would be cool.

I’m suggesting ten eps per season and as many seasons as possible.  In my opinion we should stay with the same Link, Zelda and Ganondorf, but there’s no real reason why the show couldn’t jump multiple generations with each season like the games do.

This treatment consists of a scene-by-scene of the pilot, and outline of episodes two and three, and basically extended log-lines for episodes four to ten.  Sorry they’re not all scene-by-scenes, it was already a lot of (fun) work to draft this and besides, I don’t think you’d want to read that much anyway.

Please bear in mind that it’s all about the execution.  These are still just ideas.  If the show was developed, things would get more complex, ledes would be excavated and everything would be amped up to make every episode as compelling as possible.  So imagine everything I say is better than it is lol.

Finally, I’ve tried to draw from / reference as many of the games as possible.  I think the show, and even this blog post, should absolutely reward fans of the franchise.

Context

We need to start off with some Hyrule Historia to set this pitch in context.  One of the things that most grounds Game of Thrones is its world’s rich history and that’s something the Zelda franchise shares.  So I want to set up some legends and lore upfront.

NB In the actual show this should not be revealed in narration or an opening scroll.  It’s primary purpose is to inform the world of Hyrule and its characters’ motivations.  It will be revealed to the audience slowly and sparingly through reference and allusion over the season.

Here we go:

Two thousand years before the events of our story, the last person to wield the power of the Triforce unified the warring tribes of the land into one principality; Hyrule.  This is not your average divide-and-conquer legend, this is something far more incredible; a conquer and unification.  The legend of an absolute badass.  The legend of Boudicca and King Arthur and Alexander the Great and William the Conqueror all rolled into one.  This is the in-world Legend of Zelda.  

That’s right, the first monarch of Hyrule was a Queen named Zelda (Breath of Wild fans: I consciously chose not to make this character the Goddess Hylia for the sake of simplicity).  Zelda brought decisive peace to the land by being unquestionably awesome, ending an ancient war between the country’s great races.  Together, the leaders of these once-warring tribes - the Gorons, the Zorras, the Ritos, Sheikah, Gerudo and the Hylians - worked with Zelda to capture the titanic, elemental monstrosities and demons they each summoned to fight on their behalf and contain them in purpose-built stone enclosures.  That’s right.  Temples.  Dungeons.  You get the idea. 

Flash forward two thousand years and this awesome history is relegated to the status of myth.  Yes, the temples still stand, but they are decrepit and overrun with flora and fauna.

These days the ancient Zelda’s direct descendent, Daphnes Nohansen Hyrule, sits upon the throne.  A wise and just ruler who, in his youth, fought bravely to quash an uprising from the worshippers of Din the Destroyer, and successfully restored his subjects rights to religious freedoms without threat of persecution.  The three major religions worship alongside each other in peace once again.  

But, in recent years, the king has grown old and feeble.

OK that’s all the history stuff out of the way so we can get on with the episodes!  It’s exciting isn’t it? I’m excited!  Are you excited?  IT’S EXCITING!

Episode 1: The Phantom Menace I’m Just Kidding That’s Not The Title Of The Episode

FADE IN on a beautiful white ship (10 history points if you get this reference) as it sails the night-time waters of the Great Bay of Hyrule Channel.  There’s no moon so it’s particularly dark, and the wind is so calm the sailors have taken to the oars.

The ship is like an island of light and life in the vast, dark nothingness - think of those wide night-time shots in James Cameron’s Titanic.  But this is more jovial.  The hundred or so passengers and crew sing and whoop and holler by the light of the ship’s candles.  Everyone’s clearly having a good, wine-fuelled time. We catch a glimpse of a young / strong / handsome / regal looking dude, singled out by his unusual pensiveness in the face of all this merriment. This is Daltus, son of King Daphnes and heir to the throne of Hyrule.

CREEEAAAKKKKK what the hell was that?  For a moment, the party is silenced…..

Nothing. Phew. The singing soon continues…  But for us the soundtrack subtly clues us into a feeling of unease.  

We zoom out to a wide-shot far enough away that the ship looks like a toy and the noise of the passengers is reduced to nothing.  From here we can just about make out the coast, more than a few miles away - too far to swim - and a great stone temple, half submerged, wholly forgotten.

SUDDENLY - punching out from the black depths without warning, a great tentacle looms up over the ship. The party is thrown into silence for a beat before screams and panic erupt like an explosion.

It’s absolute pandemonium on board as a second tentacle rips into the sky on the other side of the ship.  Daltus, cool as a cucumber, pulls out his sword.  But what can he do?  Nothing.  We all know what’s coming.  

The tentacles crash down onto the deck, each with the weight of a London bus, cleaving the splintered ship in half.

We get a glimpse of the great leviathan as it pulls the crumpling ship down under the newly formed waves.  For you die-hard fans, this is GYORG.  

CUT TO a young princess holding court in her father’s throne room, hearing the plights of the townsfolk she has granted an audience to.  

Yea you guessed it, this is Zelda, and she’s clearly a smart cookie and is fair and respectful to the townsfolk she speaks with.  At her right hand is her guardian and teacher, the Aristotle to her Alexander the Great, Impa.  A middle-aged Sheikah woman.  

By the sunlight streaming through the stained glass windows (which, by the way, tell the story of the ancient Zelda (an Easter egg, not obvious)) we know it’s the following day.

In comes this dishevelled old dude who urgently recounts the story of a sunken ship… Our sunken ship! But wait, no, his account is wrong.  He says Daltus supplied the crew with drink, that doesn’t sound right.  Woah woah, what’s he saying now?  The ship’s port-side hit a submerged rock because the crew was drunk?  That’s not at all what happened!  He is the only survivor he says, well… that part could be true.

An emotional Zelda beseeches the man “What happened to Lord this and that? did he survive?”  The old man shakes his head.  “What of lady blah blah?”  he shakes his head.  She’s building up the courage to ask the question.  It’s clear from her foggy eyes, she knows the answer.  “…My brother?” HE SHAKE HE DAMN HEAD.

Devastation.  Stoic, suppressed, sure, but devastation nonetheless.  She takes a moment to swallow her grief.

“What of Lord Ganondorf?”  WELL, says the man, some disembarked before the ship set sail, not confident of the drunken crew’s ability to sail.  Ganondorf among them.

Oh SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!

Boom.  Next scene.  We’re getting rural now.  We are nowhere near the regal Hyrule castle, this is a luscious woodland on the other side of the kingdom.

We’re looking at a badass silhouette of a heroic figure, mounted on horseback, with a sword in one (LEFT) hand and a shield in the other.  The horse takes a few steps forward into the daylight streaming in through the canopy… not so badass.  Wooden sword, toy shield.  This is not much more than a kid.  Maybe 16 or 17.

BUT SUDDENLY the horse bolts, the kid hollas a very Link-like battle cry as he jumps off the horse and descends upon what can only be described as scarecrows, crudely mocked up to look like Moblins.  

He batters them in a fun-to-watch but technically unskilled brawl, slipping over here and there.  This is not a hero.  This is a kid.  This is a dreamer.  This is, you guessed it, Link.

He’s interrupted / embarrassed by his uncle, Alfon, and reprimanded for not getting on with his chores.  We see a glimpse of farm-life and, although Link clearly loves and respects his uncle, we know for a fact Link would rather be out there adventuring.  This is Luke Skywalker in the Act I of A New Hope.   

We also meet Malon, a milkmaid with whom Link has an adorkable relationship.  She fires seeds at him from a homemade slingshot in the same way kids pull pigtails on playgrounds.  It’s cute.

Back in Hyrule town Impa is sleuthing.  She doesn’t buy the old man’s tale because she’s SMART as HELL and follows him using her Sheikah skills as he goes about his business through our Flea-Bottom-equivalent.  He goes to a dive-bar inn, a dingy brothel… gross but, as of yet, nothing out of the ordinary for a creepy old dude.  

But then, strangely, he slips into an abandoned house, looking over his shoulder more times than an honest man would.  Impa follows.  We witness him in conversation with a shadowy figure with a woman’s voice, he asks for payment - presumably in return for lying about Daltus’ ship - and holds out his hand in expectation.  Schwing.  He drops to the floor.  We’ve just witnessed this guy’s sudden and brutal execution at the hands of the shadowy figure, who is revealed to be… a Gerudo assassin (!!!) ostensibly tying up some loose ends.  I promise I won’t use the word ‘ostensibly’ again.

Now we get some real action.  The Gerudo bails and Impa launches into full-on chase mode.  They duck and dive across rooftops.  They fight in the streets.  It’s clear that Gerudos aren’t as skilled as the Sheikah in this kind of ninja acrobatics.  In her prime, Impa would own this fight, but the Gerudo assassin is younger and fitter, evening up the odds.  

Before you ask, no this is not a no-stakes CGI extravaganza like a Daniel Craig Bondtage (just invented this word, it means Bond montage) or the Assassin’s Creed movie. This is real.  It feels real.  When they jump down off even 6 foot walls, it hurts.  Remember, Impa is a middle-aged woman.

What I’m saying is: it’s a thrilling, evenly matched fight which ends when Impa seizes an opportunity to dump tackle the sucker.  The race is over.  The interrogation is ON!

Meanwhile, in the castle the aging King is sitting top-table, with Zelda at his right hand in a privy council meeting.  All of the major races are represented around the table.  

Daphnes is looking frail.  He’s clearly too weak to be out of bed, but he’s found the strength from the loss of his son and the urgency of the situation.  

In light of recent events, he’s attempting to secure Zelda as successor to the throne.  The Gerudo representative vehemently protests the idea of a woman on the throne, demanding that “your cousin, Ganondorf, is next in line.”  Plot. Thickened.

As you might expect, this goes down about as well as a piss flavoured milkshake, especially with Darunia, the Goron representative.  Zelda makes an incredible, impassioned speech, invoking the story of her ancestor and damn she’s good.  She’s an orator on Henry V’s level. She wins over passionate Darunia and the cold, logical, but ultimately nice old Rito dude.

But despite having the loyalists round the table convinced, ultimately, the consensus is an unmarried woman, even a woman descended from the great Zelda of old, cannot inherit the throne.  Out-fucking-rageous.

Just as we’re feeling that all is lost and Ganondorf will inherit the throne, Impa BURSTS into the room - thank GOD!  She’s badly beaten and bloody, but it doesn’t slow her down.  She has proof of a plot against the crown, Daltus was murdered… by Ganondorf!  Dun dun DUN!

Voices are raised around the table, shit is hitting the fan and emotions are running high.  Impa tells the story of Daltus’ voyage as we saw it only with one added detail - forces under the command of Ganondorf intentionally released a great beast of old into the bay.  Everyone is stunned.   It’s hard to believe.  The beasts… from the stories? They’re real?  They’re still alive after two thousand years? WHAT?!  

When the question of cross examining the assassin inevitably arises, however, Impa sheepishly admits that she’s dead. Oops.  The Gerudo rep feigns offense and bones the fuck outta there.  No one really knows whether to believe this or not, but Darunia is convinced.

Back at the farm we catch up with Link after his chores are all done.  He’s back in his makeshift training area, this time under the supervision of Uncle Alfon who’s equipped with a real sword and Hylian shield.  OK so maybe he isn’t the helpless Uncle Owen Skywalker of this story (is that his last name? Is Uncle Owen Anakin’s brother or Padme’s?  Don’t look that up, it’s not important.  Keep reading.)

It’s apparent that, after witnessing the woeful display of swordsmanship earlier in the day, Alfon has finally acquiesced to Link’s repeated requests for training.  And guess what?  He is skilled.  And we get to watch him FLEX in an exciting training sequence.  

Malon, just like us, is spending her free time watching this, firing the occasional seed at our hero to distract him from the spar at inopportune moments.

This really is worlds away from the capital.

In Hyrule, ya boy Ganondorf and his followers make a play for the throne, big style.  He’s obviously caught wind of the talk at the privy council, a la the Gerudo rep who left in a huff, so he’s making a move less subtle than he would have liked but he’s still keeping it within the confines of the castle. He doesn’t yet have the forces to fight an all-out war.

This is the first time we see Ganondorf on screen and let me tell you, it’s frightening.  He’s a mountain of a man / Gerudo - the absolute personification of intimidating.  And his coup is bloody.  Everyone either dies or submits.  The king is slain. It doesn’t seem like anyone has made it out the castle alive, as is Ganondorf’s plan. 

We find out Ganondorf’s motivations and the source of his followers undying devotion to him; religion.  The worshippers of Din the Destroyer were apparently unhappy with the outcome of the recent civil war, which, as we know, granted all three major religions - worshippers of Din, Nayru and Farore - the freedom to do so. The Gerudo’s, led by Ganondorf, have been drawing plans against the crown for a generation.  But we get the sense this is just a vehicle for him, his true motivation is pure, unbridled lust for power.

Ganondorf makes it clear that he intends to force Zelda to marry him to consolidate his rule. Impa defends her with all her might but is bested by him and tossed aside, presumed dead. The mere fact that Zelda wasn’t immediately down to clown is enough to send Ganondorf into brutal rage and he slaughters the kindly Rito man from the privy council.  Zelda is imprisoned as the new regime takes hold.

Daaaaaamn son.

Back on the farm.  Rumour of the coup has already got around, but no one much cares except for those who remember the civil war, and yea that includes captain badass Uncle Alfon.

A traveller arrives, an old war buddy of Alfon’s.  He speaks of a rebellion led by the Goron, Darunia.  He must’ve made it out of the castle alive!  Alfon is totally up for knocking some heads and packs up his shit, takes the sword and shield and the horse Link was riding when we were first introduced to him.  This is an emotional moment.  Link is desperate to join but Alfon shoots him down, he is, after all, only a kid.  A kid who sucks at fighting.  Gotta commend him for his bravery though.

Alfon goes to war once again, entrusting the farm to Link and Malon.

Some time later, at the castle, Ganondorf is out quashing the uprising.  We follow a mysterious figure as he, or she, makes her way through the castle ninja-Sheikah-style, dragging a limp body along for the ride.  Fans of the series will recognise this character from their clothing.  This is Sheik.  And Sheik is rad.  

Sheik fucks up some guards and escapes the castle in a stealthy-cool sequence leading all the way out to Hyrule field, where he witnesses Ganondorf return victorious with prisoners in tow - including Darunia and Uncle Alfon.

Ganondorf orders the prisoners be taken to a concentration camp at Kakariko Village, and Darunia be sealed “in the mountain”.  As the prisoner convoy leaves, Sheik and her limp friend surreptitiously hitch a ride.

Meanwhile, at the farm, there are clearly wide-ranging consequences as a result of the coup.  Taxes have been raised.  Goods are seized by Ganondorf’s marauding forces.  Shit’s bad son.

Link is doing his chores half heartedly, head clearly stuck on the fact he’s not heard anything of his uncle’s rebellion.  He thinks about setting out to find Alfon but Malon talks him down.

All of a sudden, a ripple of shock / horror rips through the little rural community they’re within.  The traveller - Alfon’s war buddy - has returned, on Alfon’s horse.  Everyone who looks upon him is stunned.  He looks like shit.  

He shares the fate of the rebellion with Link, including that they have been taken to the concentration camp at Kakariko Village, and abruptly dies of his wounds. 

That’s it.  Link’s mind is made up. He packs a bag with food, grabs his wooden sword a shield and gets ready to set off on an epic quest.  

Just before he leaves, Malon, tears in her eyes, tries one last time to beg him to stay.  But she sees there’s no use in it.  She tosses him her slingshot.

“It’s dangerous to go alone.  Take this.”

FADE OUT 

DAAAAAMN son.

If you’ve stuck it out this far, good work.  Thank you.  I appreciate your attention.  

Honestly, I’m amazed you made it past the first paragraph, you know, the one about the shit that’s in my pants.  

Let’s keep going.  And sorry for bringing up my shitty pants again.

Episode 2: Attack of the Clones ok I guess we’re sticking with this Star Wars thing, sorry, I hate it too

Link travels through the dangerous open land of Hyrule in the direction of Kakariko village but is pretty much immediately discovered by Ganondorf’s (human) marauding forces.  He draws his wooden shield and they are immediately destroyed by the biggest, meanest marauder in the gang.  They erupt in laughter.  He draws his slingshot.  The marauders absolutely crack up, they can’t breathe, who is this kid?  Link fires, straight up blinding the grizzly one.  

Not so funny anymore.

Link is overpowered and bundled into a mobile-cell with a young Goron, Darbus, and a sheikah child named Granté.  Crucial allies going forward obviously.  

Anyway, as prisoners, guess where they’re going?  That’s right, the concentration camp at Kakariko village – exactly where we wanted to go.  Lucky…. Kind of.  

We arrive at Kakariko, a village on the foot of Death Mountain, and it’s like nothing we’ve seen yet.  It’s a totally ransacked settlement, entirely overtaken by Ganondorf’s forces a la Tywin Lannister’s occupation of Harrenhal.  But it’s not just a prison, it’s clearly the base of operations for some kind of mining / weapon smelting operation with armed workers travelling up and down Death Mountain trail.

Link learns the hard way that there’s consequences to blinding people that are bigger than you and is beaten, bloodied and bruised.  He’s about to give up hope as he is thrown into a squalid little cell, overfull with other prisoners.   One of whom is ALFON!  WE LOVE THAT GUY!  HELL YEAH!

But Alfon has been badly injured and in such disgusting conditions, without any form of medical treatment, his wound has become infected.  It’s pretty clear this dude is gonna die, and boy is it emotional.  Link’s crying, you’re crying, I’m crying.  There’s not a dry eye in the house.  Or even outside the house.   

With his dying words, Alfon manages to instill in Link a powerful need to avenge him and an immense sense of duty to ‘save Princess Zelda’.  Alfon urges Link to escape and raise another rebellion. To do so, he is told, he will need Darunia’s support.

With renewed enthusiasm, Link makes an attempt at escape.  And, you know what?  He’s actually successful, making it all the way to the armoury, where he grabs his slingshot and leaves his wooden sword and shield in favour of his uncle’s steel equivalent.  Oh shit, my boy EQUIPPED.

Covert as hell, he saves Darbus and Granté and together they make a break for the gates leading to the Death Mountain trail.  Meanwhile, in the darkness and unnoticed by our heroes, shadowy figures silently take out guards here and there.

The gang is on the home straight now, they’re about to make a break for it when suddenly they spot guards up ahead.  Slowly and quietly they try to pass them without being noticed when a chicken trots up and pecks Link’s boot.  He tries to wordlessly shoo it away, but it keeps pecking.  In a moment of frustration, he boots it one.  

Bad idea.  

Scores of chickens swoop in and go nuts attacking Link, drawing the attention of the guards.  The chickens flutter off and the real fight is on.  This time, equipped with a real sword and shield, Link is actually pretty effective, as are Granté and Darbus (who is literally a walking rock).  You’d have thought they just might win if it weren’t for the 15 extra guards joining the fray.  OH SHIT!

Just as it seems all is lost, the guards drop dead.  What the hell?  The shadowy figures emerge and are revealed to be… a Sheikah clan led by SHEIK and IMPA!  

The prisoners are liberated and everyone rejoices.  Big Act III party and debrief.  You get the idea.

FADE OUT 

Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith I guess

Some days later, the Sheikah have set up something of a honey trap at Kakariko village, where marauders bring their prisoners only to be ambushed by the liberated milita.  They are running a pretty tight ship and have blocked passage to Death Mountain.  

It’s immediately apparent that the Sheikah in charge - i.e. Impa and Sheik - do not think much of Link.

Fortunately, Granté is able to convince them to grant him and Darbus passage through to Death Mountain trail.  Granté elects to stay behind for the time being to help this little resistance movement and be with his people.  Goodbye Granté, it’s been nice.

Our B story in this ep splits off here.  After Link and Darbus leave, we follow Sheik, who is revealed to be Zelda in disguise.  As she deftly interrogates Ganondorf’s forces, she uncovers some stake-raising info about a prophecy Ganondorf is trying to fulfil that sees her head off in the direction of Dragon Roost, homeland of the Rito.  But while she’s gone, the Sheikah lose control of the village and there’s a big ol’ brawl on.  This is weaved in throughout the episode; I’ve just summarised here for time.   

Back to the A story.  The Death Mountain trail is testing.  It’s increasingly steep.  The paths are old and treacherous.  They pass a lot of huge boulders.  They encounter some of Ganondorf’s forces who have been trapped up the mountain since the Sheikah revolt.   

They eventually make it to the entrance of one of the ancient temples but It’s blocked by a big – and I mean big rock – that is just impossible to move.  I know what you’re thinking, If only Link had some magic gauntlets… well HE DOESN’T FOLKS.  This is insurmountable.  He’s not going to surmount this one.  Because it’s insurmountable.   

As night falls, the two dejected friends set up camp and we get to know our characters a little better as they share stories around a campfire.  Time for a LIGHT touch of exposition which will be worked in really well:

Darbus explains that Gorons, like the Gerudo, worship the fire-god, Din, but they were happy to live in peace with the worshippers of Nayru and Farore.  This is why Darunia took Ganondorf’s seizing-of-the-throne-on-religious-grounds so personally.  

We also find out that Goron’s are really hard to kill, they are rocks after all, and this is why Ganondorf has elected to lock Darunia away instead of doing the obvious thing.   But this fact is weird because, there’s almost no Gorons left, they’re kind of an endangered species.

While Darbus is telling a particularly demonstrative story, dramatised by the long shadows cast by the torch he hold in his hand, he accidentally holds the fire too close to the big rock.  Not normally an issue, but this time…

THE BIG ROCK WAKES UP YO.  IT’S A GIANT GORON!  HELL YEAH!  OH WAIT, shit, he’s a bit grumpy about being woken up / burnt on the ass cheek.  Cue a massive, awesome stomp and dodge sequence - well Link dodges, Dalbus gets stomped right into the ground.  It’s cool and funny and we’ve never seen anything like it on TV before.

Anyway, once the giant goron has properly woken up, we find out his name is Daruk and he’s actually a nice guy.  He’s been asleep since not much after the first age (near the time of the original Zelda) and he’s pretty mad to hear about Ganondorf and Darunia etc. and the thought that he might have been picked up and moved to block the entrance is particularly offensive to him.  

He let’s them pass and goes on his own quest to wake up his brothers - all the boulders lying around the place.

FADE OUT

OK folks we’re moving onto much shorter outlines from here on out, should be quicker to get through.  Hope you can stick with me!

Episode 4: A New Hope

A Story - the fire temple:  Link and Darbus face a road of trials in the fire temple as they try to find and recover Darunia.  They discover a large boulder and Link does everything he can to wake it up, including whispering sweet things to it.  But it turns out to be just a boulder.  Darbus calls him a racist.  They eventually find Darunia, who is crushed by his recent defeat and doesn’t believe he can raise the forces to take on Ganondorf.  Together they fight a giant Dodongo, one of the titanic beasts of old.  It’s extremely cool and difficult but they somehow pull it off.  They emerge victorious to find Daruk has raised something of an army of Gorons.  Game on.

B Story - Her name was Rito and she dances in the sand:  Zelda makes her way to Dragon Roost which, by the way, is like, another mountain, slightly smaller and different in shape to Death Mountain, and with a giant egg on top of it.   She’s there to parley with the Rito Queen, Medli - who is only about 10 years old - about being granted access to their records (Rito are like, natural librarians) to learn more about this whole prophecy thing.  But Medli is a capricious little brat who’s pretty annoyed about her father, the kindly old Rito dude, being killed in Zelda’s presence and blames her for it.

C Story - Ganondorf’s diary:  Some political-intrigue here as the new administration makes plans to unify the land under Ganondorf.  We get an insight into Ganondorf’s plan.  Something about the Triforce, a shadow realm, and something about him being a vessel for something something, I think he said… Ganon.

Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back yep we’re still doing this star wars thing

A Story - off to see the sea: Link and the Goron army head down to Kakariko and CRUSH the revolt of Ganondorf’s forces, saving Impa and the rest of the Sheikah.  They hatch a plan to raise armies all over the land to rebell against Ganondorf.  The Gorons stay behind to build their numbers and strength in that area of the map.  Link visits Alfon in the slightly-over-flowing Kakariko graveyard before setting off in the direction of the Great Bay with Impa where they find all Zorra-hands are on deck trying to deal with the GYORG situation.

B Story - Des-pa-Rito: Zelda is charged with the murder of the Rito king and fights extremely effectively in a trial-by-combat.  By winning, she gains the respect of Medli and is granted access to their records.  Zelda discovers a prophecy about GANON, an other-worldy beast of great power and the enemy of the Zelda of old.  She suspects Ganondorf plans to summon him into our realm and she’s dead set on stopping him.  She also learns of the Master Sword, the only worldly sword that can damage the beast and which once belonged to her ancestor.  It was last left in a sacred temple what is now an overgrown ancient woodland.  

C Story - Going Ganon: In a sick, bloody ritual, like the dead body parts of wildlings in ep 1 of GoT, Ganondorf unseals Ganon’s ethereal prison, and is possessed by it, granting him absolute knowledge of the Triforce and how to attain it.

Episode 6: Return of the Jedi

A Story - water temple: Impa intuitively believes there’s something in the temple that can be used to restrain GYORG and sends Link in after it.  The whole place is booby-trapped to hell because, you know, you’re not supposed to go in there.   

B Story - More like burRito: Zelda presents her findings to Medli but, although she has forgiven Zelda, she refuses to aid in the upcoming war against Ganondorf.  Zelda sends a messenger bird back to where she thinks Impa is - Kakariko - and heads off in the direction of the ancient woodland.  Before she can get there, she is accosted by a band of Gerudos.  They don’t recognise her in her Sheik gear so she pretends to join them and it works for a while, but, right at the end of the ep, her secret is discovered.  Cliffhanger. 

C Story - a mission from a god: Ganondorf / Ganon now knows he needs to unite with Zelda and Link to seal the deal and take control of the Triforce.

Episode 7: The (Tri)Force Awakens see what I did there

A Story - gone fishing: Impa’s hunch was right and Link is successful in retrieving an ancient, gigantic trawling net.  Together they engage GYORG and ultimately recapture it.

B Story - Getting Gerdoed: Zelda makes a break for the ancient woodlands.  She fights, runs, fights s’more and is ultimately captured by the Gerudos before she can find the sword.  She is marched to Hyrule castle.

C Story - an army and a leggy: Ganon’s machinations get interrupted when he gets wind of a large Goron army at Kakariko.  His own forces have grown in strength and number by now so he’s not too worried.  They march. 

Episode 8: The Last Jedi (we’re running low on ep titles)

A Story - team building:  With GYORG back in his play pen, Impa and Link attempt to secure the Zorra’s support in the upcoming war with Ganondorf.   

B Story - home sweet home: Zelda is returned to Hyrule castle and locked up a bit tighter than last time.

C Story - war boys: Ganon’s forces march to Kakariko en masse, ready to break necks and cash cheques, when Ganon receives a message that Zelda is captured.  He leaves the army and heads back to the castle.

Episode 9: Episode IX yea I know but this is genuinely the working title of it though

A Story - the master sword: Link and Impa set off to Kakariko, arriving as Ganondorf’s forces get there.  The war is about to begin when Impa receives Zelda’s message which has been waiting for her there since two episodes ago.  She learns about the prophecy and sends Link to the ancient woodlands to find the Master Sword.  In the woodlands, Link is accosted by a Yoda-on-Degoba-level-annoying Skullkid.  The SkullKid is mischievous and annoying but ultimately leads Link to the Master Sword.

B Story - the smell of napalm in the morning: The war kicks off.  Filmed like the Battle of the Bastards but following Link’s various allies from throughout the season.  Even with their rock-hard bods, the Gorons are being overpowered.  But then the Zorras arrive and it evens out the odds.

C Story - creepy cousin: Ganon and Zelda have an intense chat.  He reveals his plans, but not in a traditional James Bond villain way.  In a cool and also sensical way.  LIGHT exposition.

Episode 10: The Force Shits its Pants I made this title up but it’s what the tenth star wars film should be called imo

A Story - Tri forced: Link arrives.  This is the first time he gets to be face-to-face with Ganondorf and even Zelda out of her Sheik costume.  Zelda is like “YOU? You’re the hero Ganondorf’s been going on about?  The dumbass from Kakariko?”  Link is like “Well… excuse me, princess.”  The fight starts and Link is battered.  He immediately loses.  Of course he does.  He’s not even that good at fighting.  Ganondorf takes possession of the Triforce and his physical form takes that of Ganon’s.  A shockwave explodes out from the castle, terraforming the world into the Dark Realm (think: the Upside Down from Stranger Things)…

B Story - the big fight: The Goron, Zorra, Sheikah alliance is winning when a wave of darkness envelopes them.  Marauders turn into moblins like a werewolf in the full moon, Gerudo transform into flying beasts.  The air support in particular gives the forces of evil an edge and the balance sways yet again… fuck.

A Story: Link refuses to stop fighting, even though Ganondorf has become the great beast that is Ganon.  But he’s still getting his ass handed to him.  

B Story:  The Rito arrive and even up the odds again.

A Story: Zelda distracts Ganon and Link is able to drive the sword into his mouth and win. Ganondorf dies, the Dark Realm recedes back into itself taking Ganon with it.

Epilogue:  Order is restored.  Zelda becomes queen.  Race relations are at an all time high.  Link returns home to Malon.  Big party.

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Post credit sequence: In the woodland, the Skullkid accosts another traveller in the same way he accosted Link.  But this traveller is… a creepy mask salesman.

FADE OUT!

Phew, wow.  That’s a wrap folks. Well done.  If you got this far, seriously, thank you.  Now follow me on twitter.

Mike xxx

[kitemist]

switched at birth season 5 episode 7 / Episode 100 thoughts with spoilers

live reactions included.

Overall, worth watching. Sweet.

Before I start, I’ve seen enough previews already. What is with this girl? What are her intentions? And something lied in the process so that Angelo is permanently dead, because something supernatural cannot happen in this show, besides the flawless lipreading. Why did the switchsters and regina ever get their hopes up. Regina didn’t want any part of it.

And now with this preview, this girl never mentioned Angelo’s name. Daphne jumped to this conclusion, and this girl knew, “looked you up a while ago.” But what is there to gain from this? Daphne’s medical career has been endangered more than once. She almost got arrested. She almost became an addict, and she almost had two of her closest friends die.

Angelo is here without a question, Bay doesn’t question it but Daphne does. Even though Daphne talked to this girl first.

And now Regina doesn’t question it! This is a daydream isn’t it. And this is what definitely what Angelo would have done if that accident never happened. He would have continued his restaurant and cooking career, bonding with Daphne over it just like the night before Regina almost shot her own daughter.

We are all Daphne now. Confused as FUCK. Carlton Kennish is still a thing and Angelo is seemingly real to Daphne and Regina. No amount of previews can make up for our confusion. Of course Gilles would be here, he announced it himself in multiple previews and on instagram, much like every other actor/actress did in their own clips. But...Angelo...what the FUCK.

So Daphne just assimilates into this mental consensus that Angelo is real, because...no choice.

Officially, the entire Kennish and Vasquez family accept that Angelo is real and seamless, all conversing with him.

Angelo’s cute italian. ;v;

“I just wish you were here.”

Fuckin CALLED IT.

Why must Daphne be the traumatized one in bed? She is already gone through this before. “This is all your fault.”

And you two are gonna have sex huh. The coat worries me after Mom did that trick.

Yeahp.

How is Bay supposed to read that sign without a mirror on the ceiling.

Is this your first time having sex after you got raped? After talking with tank himself?

“Better than Emmett?” HOW FUCKING INSECURE ABOUT YOURSELF ARE YOU, TRAVIS?

“How could you ask me that?!” Yeah, fucking hell.

Also, what even led you to having sex in the first place? Were you just super horny, Bay? Like everyone who gets into a relationship is?

“Let me run it by the wife.” THE wife. pfffffff.

“To thank us?” For....what???

“God, this is strange, isn’t it?” You just made this more awkward. I already don’t like you.

“Feels kinda like a blind date.” And in this situation, we’re both dating our dad.

Okay, so they were the ones who did the donation. But did Angelo ever consent to be an organ donor? It’s the law! Or have you two broken it enough already to not care. Or was it a ruling by the majority of the remaining family? Or was it just...fuck it.

34 people? Blood saves 3 per pint. 10 pints per average person is 30 people. But that can’t be perfectly 10. 30 for blood and 4 for organs. Blood is technically an organ, but even with this, if some were more split toward blood and more than 4 organs, I still do not believe this number, but that’s just me.

Okay, she mentioned his FULL NAME. But she never directly mentioned that she got angelo’s heart. She only confirmed that she got a heart form a man who died in a car accident the same day that angelo died in a car accident.

Why am I not believing her to be Angelo’s heart’s receiver? Not only because of spoilers, but because nothing THAT GOOD can ever happen to anyone on this show. And besides the supernatural lipreading, nothing super cool or supernatural can ever happen in this show, which is supposed to be based on reality and how the deaf and hearing people interact in an audio centric world, with a side show for a race issue and for some questioning of sexuality.

I wonder if she is just telling a story of her dead parent to have bay and daphne bond with her. Her face isn’t helping. Or I just can’t read it.

“Never take anything for granted.” I still don’t believe you.

You JUST got a new heart and you already pushing it to its limits with all these crazy activities sounds horrifying to me. There’s the syncing of a new pacemaker. Or is she just not mentioning the physical therapy and getting used to things because it’s boring to hear.

New...cravings, for everything Angelo used to like. Memories are all stored in the brain. Which died permanently.

A tattoo over your chest scar. Sure your ribcage will protect you. But it’s still sensitive skin. Or artificial skin which isn’t as tough. But...really?

Daphne raises her brow because this girl already knows Regina. Or just knows the name. She did “look her up” but how much?

Daphne is as unsure as I am. But we’re thinking about different things.

“Of turning him into a christian.” Baptism does not turn you into a christian. It just makes you, in a way, live according to not your will. They just do this to babies so that they can live “the right way”. Being assimilated into a religion is of the individual’s own volition. Which Carlton doesn’t have yet!

Lily is jewish. And then there’s this christian talk. And then toby said because of the mixed wedding we can just throw it out the window? “Carlton can be both.” What.

I understand Lily. Baptism is really much deeper than appearances. Toby wants to please his mom more than his wife. And why is Toby on board with this? Nicole being religious overseas is what caused his first marriage to fall apart. And the weird question of only coming to God for something you need when Angelo died.

“I just didn’t want to impose my religion on you.” Why can’t you do the same, Toby?

Good thing you realized this.

Cellular memory. If memory is in the DNA (which i doubt, since it only contains stuff AT BIRTH, not later) and that has spread to this girl, that would make them believe in it. “Science is amazing” after all.

Cells containing a full set of genetic material is basic bio and cell construction. It’s in the nucleolus. As string, not chromosomes joined at the centromere. Why does cellular memory theory contain a fact all biologists know?

Inheriting DNA. After the commotion of whether the body would reject it or not, it would fit like a puzzle. But wouldn’t all those cells be dead, besides the ones that are holding up the structure of the organ? It makes sense to have those structure cells contain Angelo info, but the cell is specialized to just hold up the heart’s structure. If anything, this girl’s info would sort of hide Angelo info much like a dominant over a recessive gene, not slowly turn her into Angelo, which is what everyone is starting to believe right now!

Regina is so over this conversation. She wants to get way past him and Daphne wants to dive into the past again after that commotion with Iris and the BSU because...reasons and this girl coming up to her and just leading her into making a huge inductive leap. Regina is already over Angelo...wasn’t this made clear earlier when she wanted to adopt this Skylanders fanatic?

And Regina has completely solid reasoning.

“But those people have a piece of him inside of them.” Sigh. Doesn’t mean they ARE him. Why not track down EVERYONE who received a smidge of Angelo, try to combine them all together much like a human transmutation! This isn’t Inuyasha and Angelo is not the jewel!

Bay’s text message suddenly has incoming messages on the right, while her previous text conversation with Emmett was on the left.

“Forgive me yet?” why not just send a dick pic and ask her if she misses it.

Okay, she’s cute. But I don’t trust her with this.

“You wanna see?” Just turn this into a porno.

“You wanna feel it?” If you’re this frank why not make out with her on the spot? Worked for Travis.

And this does not contain a heartbeat sfx.

“That’s your dad’s heart.” Okay, you admitted it. But I’m sure this isn’t true one way or another.

Also, the heart is not directly dead center.

Also, you wouldn’t be able to feel it. You would have to use your whole palm and press gently. Not just a few fingers.

Now Bay brings up the question of fragile skin. NOW she does?!

After Bay tattoos a gang sign and does a coverup on the spot for free, she offers a job on a tattoo that may need repeating for free. How are you ever going to get that $300 to stay here?

“My car.” She is just...too casual about all this. What if you were making it up as she went along? She wasn’t making eye contact whenever she exposed some of her story.

“I know all the good parts to park so I don’t get busted or bothered.” Okay. you claim to not have cash. but this is your 3rd different outfit. Do you keep a closet in your car, and is all your money going toward tuition and gas? And this is a gangster neighborhood. Where is safe??

“You could stay with me and daphne!” Where do you have room?? Daphne and bay live together so only Regina is in the guest house and doesn’t want to meet her, which bay doesn’t know about. And not to mention toby, lily, and carlton. You are overloaded.

The way bay is talking leads me into thinking she is more bisexual than I thought, after Zarya.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MARLEE <3

Please get along just for today.

Okay thanks Travis.

Instantly bonding and the random conversation we hear is about...a guy. Ugh.

You went to prom with a high school kid over a van. really.

And it worked..

Traveling again right after you were just about settled after that China trip and timeskip.

To meet his family...really...

And knowing someone who just happens to know cheap flights. Too convenient.

So she’s staying at Daphne and bay’s place. And Daphne is not happy.

Yeah, you should have asked her first. It’s Daphne’s place too.

“She has angelo’s heart. That practically makes her family.” Why not be-family the rest of those 34 people then?

Okay, good job telling her what you were slamming your hands about. But Regina said she didn’t want to meet any of them altogether.

Daphne’s face.

Baptism is not foreign to lily, you ass. She knows what it is, she just doesn’t want it! And of course, as Mom said, “men always think they have a good reason to lie.”

you’re only liking baptism as an obligation because of tradition. not because of your beliefs. which is what lily didn’t like as someone who was jewish. come on.

I don’t trust this show’s representation of religion as much as I don’t trust its representation of deaf people.

WOW, YOU MET HER ALREADY

Daphne said it, she didn’t.

She wanted to see Daphne but then ran into Regina and stuck with her instead? Since you share names with the robot from the 100 I don’t trust you.

And why are you running away from Daphne, Regina? Daphne did nothing wrong. Just tell you.

“I just hope from now on she respects our wishes” she already violated all of them by meeting you. what other wishes?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY. <3 THANK YOU, EMMETT.

This tension is weird. And the first thing you bring up is who you two can’t be friends over: Bay. I take that back, Emmett, I still don’t like you.

What is YOUR problem, Travis, bringing up Emmett post “best sex ever”? You two need to shut up.

Sigh. Of course you can’t shut up for her birthday.

And yes, Emmett is right about Travis being a control freak. He was making SURE he was better than Emmett in Bay’s mind. And Travis was right about Bay making that decision on her own, because she KNEW that Travis would blow up around anything Emmett.

Really? In front of Marlee, you say that Travis stole her? What??

Um, yeah, you had an idea “I can’t believe we flew back home just for a misunderstanding.” travis.

But just give Marlee a break, please...

Even if Emmett is in that bad of a place, that just proves it. He DID do that tattoo thing to get back with her.

“For all we know she doesn’t even HAVE Angelo’s heart.” I am on board with this.

Reasonable to read about you, since Mom’s book is a bestseller, just like her erotic baseball novel.

Bay. Come on. And Daphne is being like Mom right now, back when the switch was realized. Regina and Daphne were complete strangers and now they’re living together.

“Because when I’m around her, I feel connected to Angelo.” Sigh. You haven’t even talked about anything that is of angelo! We walked in on you talking about some van for prom deal!

“Why don’t you?” Because...Daphne hasn’t spent that much time with her, that’s why. And we do not know enough about her.

Daphne has a good reason to believe that maybe she could be a fake, but why would she want to play them?

Regina, in this deep stage of everyone’s lives right now, isn’t this reassuring? The thought of your loved ones (angelo) watching over you?

“I think when we’re done, we’re done.” Tell that to Bemmett.

Good convo after that racist outfit thing, Regina. You’re good to talk to about these things respectively.

Daphne’s logical to make sure about this, but breaching confidentiality. After vandalism.

Okay, she is...or is she?

“You might want to do some digging into her background.” Don’t. We. All.

In my opinion, we are all in sinful bodies anyway, since it is made from the naturally anti-god earth. Nothing can erase us completely except for god’s righteousness. Which doesn’t come from baptism. But I’m not going to put it out there if any tumblr people want to chat with me about ideology.

And we are already under god’s mercy for being allowed to exist. John 3:16. Sure we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of god (romans 3:23) but we are redeemed now.

Okay, just because you have a more “official” person doing it doesn’t make her feel any better. You have to have one of those “baptism sessions” to get her to understand it. Not necessarily convert her, but I think a more indepth discussion than with someone unsure about religion and a reverend would be better to explain this.

So Lily said she is raising him jewish, but toby wants to follow mom, even though toby said that he and lily said carlton will be anything he wants and not to raise him as anything, so....what. And why am I caring about this again?

Now she is asking about the accident. And this would only give her more cover as “standing in” for angelo because of knowing this pivotal moment. She is definitely covering herself. I don’t trust her one bit, at all.

HA! FUCKING KNEW YOU WERE LYING ABOUT SOMETHING!

HAHAHAHAHA KEEP EXPOSING HER DAPHNE! KEEP GOING!

“you don’t know anything about me!” she knows enough for you to confirm out of your dirty mouth everything daphne just said. shut up.

“Did you lie about everything?” I’m expecting a yes.

“What do you want me to say.” Yeah. Fucking knew it.

And this is Bay’s fault for making that mental connection. She just drove her into making that same inductive leap. Daphne just leapt over back again with that digging.

And bay, since this is a lie, that 3rd time never happened.

“I said what you wanted to hear.” Yeah. That’s enough for me.

I know 0 shit about jewish stuff so I’m gonna shut up about that. But settle on Carlton’s identity already!

And now you bring down syndrome up again. I thought you didn’t care about that, that you’ll be okay with him no matter what!

Daphne’s different from Toby in “lots of other ways” and you connected with her just. fine. Ex. wilke. sorta.

A vision of Angelo again.

“Everyone deserves a second chance.” Vision-Angelo, both of bay’s datemates screwed up all their chances.

“I’m grateful I got one with you.” </3

Hey, Ripley. Good to see you.

Emmett. Why can’t you talk with daphne then? You’re talking as if she doesn’t exist.

You at that spot doesn’t make you any more deserving.

Bay can’t handle to go to that spot and now she’s there.

Uh, yeah, you were lying about SOME PARTS. That still doesn’t excuse it.

You know I am actually preferring a lesbian kiss right now. This conversation is awkward.

Thank you for finally loosening up, Travis.

And Emmett is taking pictures of another tattoo application. Hopefully they’re better because he’s actually there focusing and stuff.

“She has angelo’s DNA” “That doesn’t mean anything.” FINALLY

“Then let her family celebrate.” Regina is so against this. From the start. Stop. Trying. To. Convert.

“What if I see her and I don’t feel anything?” Well you didn’t feel anything the first time, so...

“Mom. This is my family now.” And this is the current age, where religion is not that huge anymore. Don’t try to start another Luther vs Calvin.

Cultural awareness is good.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME

Coincidence, but ;v;

And they see him at the same time. Nice effect.

“I feel him. I feel his heart.” How can you tell, but ;w;

Okay, now that you have cleared yourself, I trust you now. For now.

Nice mystery around this girl Alie. Not as pleasing as the seal of approval one, but this was beautiful.