#also I had such feels listening to this song again while drawing/editing this :')

[be-co-me]

All I Want For Christmas Is You

Levi Ackerman

6.8k words

Summary: The day before Christmas Eve, you happen upon your new roommate's living room calendar and discover that his birthday also happens to fall on Christmas and after a drunken night of meeting his friends and getting to know each other better, also discover he doesn't have a family to spend Christmas with, so you offer him your own.

A/N: The more I wrote this, the more I hated it lol, but please listen to my favorite Christmas song before or while you read as it gives me the floaty happy feeling I desire this fic to have. It's Cold December Night by Michael Buble. Levi may be a bit OOC, but I wanted this ready for Christmas, so I didn't have much time to skim it over and fix things. Thank you for reading and please let me know your thoughts! This isn't yet edited so please don't mind any mistakes! The AO3 curse got me the past couple of days, so this is much more delayed than I would have liked it to be.

-----

You pulled the last of your packed moving boxes through the front door of your new residence, nudging the door closed with your foot as to not let anymore of the heat inside escape. You had been moving things in slowly the past week, the first few days unpacking consisted of larger and more important items and as the days passed, the less important items made their way into your new home. You let the heavy box cradled in your arms plop to the floor with a thud and sighed heavily, folding over to catch your breath. You quite literally felt a huge weight drop from your shoulders as you realized you were done moving. And not only was it the last box, but the last of your Christmas shopping.

Speaking of Christmas, you noticed the lack of Christmas decor adorning your new apartment. While the shared quarters still held a sense of home and comfort, the decor, you felt, was not up to par for the season near enough for your liking. You would have to ask your new roommate about it and see if you could put more up. You shrugged your winter attire off and made your way to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. It would be a long night of wrapping presents and you could use all of the fuel your peppermint mocha had to offer.

As your Keurig sputtered your drink of choice out, you opted to change into comfortable clothes for the evening. When you reentered the kitchen, you grabbed the steaming mug off the machine and blew on the top of the drink, taking a small sip to test the temperature on your tongue.

As you did so, your eyes wandered the walls and found a relatively large calendar hung perfectly straight. You eyed the current date, December 23rd, and the following days, your eyes widening as you abandoned your warm mug on the countertop and made your way closer to the calendar.

Your fingers touched along the block that held 'Christmas Day' and your eyes roamed the calendar adorned in neat script and back to the unfamiliar scrawl that sat atop the block labeled 25.

'LEVI'S BIRTHDAY!!!!!!' It read, in messy capital letters with an astronomical amount of exclamation points following the words. A quite ugly and cartoonish drawing of glasses sat underneath the script, the manufactured 'Christmas Day' scribbled out, and you assumed one of his friends had written everything inside the box. A feeling of panic set in. You had to get him something. It was his birthday. Did that explain the lack of Christmas decor? Does he despise Christmas?

At that moment, you heard a set of keys jingle outside and the click of the door unlocking. You quickly stepped away from the calendar and your hands encased your mug once again. You took another sip of the drink as Levi walked in, brushing snow off of his shoulders. You looked away, scrunching your face at the still boiling hot temperature of the mocha, cursing your awkwardness around the new man. His face adorned the same look, but only because of the cold.

His eyes met yours with a curt nod in greeting as he removed his shoes and he began walking towards the counter. He set his keys across the countertop and hung his backpack across the back of one of the high top stools lining the island countertop you currently leaned on.

"Sorry it's so late. I'm glad I didn't wake you up." he said, unzipping the bag and pulling his laptop out. You shook your head.

"I just got back as well! I finally have all of my stuff here now, so no more ruckus!" you responded hastily, opting to sip your drink once more. You hadn't yet engaged in many conversations with the man, only those around your mutual friend who shared your own college major, Isabel, who had suggested you as Levi's new roommate. But she wasn't here anymore to guide your conversation and it felt quite awkward.

"That's good to hear." he responded, fingers working to plug in the laptop's charger into the countertop. Something you hadn't yet noticed about the home, but you were glad it existed and were sure it would prove handy for late nights studying. You wondered if he had also felt awkward around you. That would have to end quickly if so.

You continued sipping at the drink in silence and watched as he worked, typing into the laptop. Maybe it would be a good time to retreat to your bedroom and give him his space to mitigate from work. Or make him a warm drink as well? Maybe try to strike up a conversation and get to know more about him? Or-

"Got any plans for the evening?" he asked, cutting your internal rapid firing line of questioning off. Your eyes met his own when he stopped typing. Your cheeks warmed at the steely grey's examining your expression. You quickly looked into the swirl of your drink.

"You're looking at them. Why? Got something in mind?" you asked, jumping at the opportunity to know more about him, or more specifically, what would be his fancy in terms of a gift or two.

"Hmm. I'm surprised Isabel didn't mention it. We're all going out in town tonight for a few hours." he responded, fingers reaching for his phone, also plugged in, and swiping it open. You were also surprised she hadn't mentioned so, but forgetful was one of her more endearing qualities so you were quite sure it wasn't on purpose.

"She's forgetful. I'm sure she meant to ask you about it though." he responded to himself. "So? Would you like to come?" he asked. His voice monotonous. He continued his work as you pondered the question and the task you would be abandoning for the evening.

You nodded, agreeing to go along, but now you would have to get ready. You'd have to give Isabel a call and see what the unspoken dress code of the evening was. You imagined if it went her way, you'd be quite dressed up for the night, which also meant freezing your ass off.

"I'll go get ready!" you responded. He nodded and turned his full attention back to his computer, finishing what you could assume was work for his graduate program he'd be starting the preceding semester at the university you would now also be a part of. You had met Isabel at a club meeting in your old college. An event all the universities had gone to. You had struck up a conversation with her, and were pleased to find she went to the same school you would soon be transferring to and it was history from there.

You pulled your phone from under your waistband, finding Isabel's contact as you closed the door to your bedroom. You set a coaster out onto your desk and set your drink down. You'd definitely need the fuel now. Or maybe the better idea would be to abandon it for water.

"Heeellllloooo?" a perky voice drew out the greeting. You smiled, shaking your head.

"Did you forget to tell me something?" you asked. A loud gasp rang over the other line and you took the phone off your ear in preparation for the yelling that was about to ensue across the other line.

"I'm so so sorry! I totally meant to tell you when Hange planned it! Shit! Did Levi tell you?" she asked. You nodded, laughing.

"Yes he did. Now onto more important details. What are you wearing? Is this more of a dressy going out or just comfy?" you asked, fingers sliding hangers over as you mulled over what you could wear for the evening in either option. You hated to not fit in with the theme.

"Hange wants us to dress up because it's Levi's birthday on the 25th! SHIT! That's another thing I forgot to mention!" she responded. This was a celebration. You felt guilty at not knowing the new man's birthday sooner. You chuckled despite the nervous thoughts that began to rapid fire your brain again.

"It's alright! FaceTime me so you can help me pick an outfit out!" you told her. You removed the phone from your ear, awaiting the video call and answering as soon as she called.

----

Your outfit of choice ended up being much more short and showy than usual; an extremely short velvet cocktail dress and heels that matched the color, much to Isabel's pleasure. You wore your trusty black 'going out' trench coat as it went with everything and kept you as warm as you could be in a short dress.

You finished the minute details of your outfit, leaving your bedroom. You walked into the living room, eyes in search of your new roommate to see if he was ready to go.

He had also changed into something a bit more dressed up; a pair of slacks, dress shoes, a button up shirt, and a blazer. His steely grey's met your own, looking down and up before meeting your own again. You swore your caught the faintest tint of blushing to his cheeks.

"Won't you be cold?" he asked, turning towards the counter, taking ahold of his keys. You shook your head.

"This is my trusty trench coat, either it's never let me down or alcohol warms me up enough." you responded.

"Want me to drive? Or we could walk if you won't be too cold or uncomfortable." he responded. You could only nod before realizing you were given two options in the question.

"Walking is fine." you answered curtly. You made your way to the front door, opening it and stepping into the cold. He followed behind you, his hand meeting your own as he propped the door open. You quickly retracted your hand. Now it was your turn to blush, but at least you could blame it on the cold weather.

You heard the telltale click of the lock on the door and he stepped down the stairs in front of you, turning and offering a hand. You stood still, putting your hand up to take his own in hesitation.

"It would really suck if you fell down the stairs before we got there." he said. You laughed loudly, slapping your hand down into his own and beginning your descent down the stairs. You small talked about your days, his at work and university, despite the off season from the semester, and you about your moving and Christmas plans.

You made it to the first place of the evening, a fine dining restaurant. If this friend group was anything like the one in your hometown, then you'd get dinner first and then get wild at bars and hangout spots the rest of the evening and into early morning.

You weren't quite sure of what anyone looked like outside of Isabel, your eyes scanning the tables for a mop of pink hair, but you couldn't see above anyone even with your heels on, and the restaurant was what you would call 'packed', everyone eager to finish their drinking bouts with heir university friends before returning home to their families.

You looked to Levi, who also struggled to see over the top of patron's heads. His eyes widened lightly and then met your own. He nodded his head a certain direction and you began following him through the throng of people towards your destination, taking ahold of the sleeve of his jacket.

Once making it to the table, Isabel stood, beaming.

"This is the infamous new roommate I've been telling you guys about!" she shouted. You laughed, Levi taking a seat next to Isabel. You opted to take the empty spot next to him at the end of the table.

Isabel sputtered more facts about you to the group before someone cut her speech off, a lean blonde man with bright blue eyes.

"Please, introduce yourself. We at least need a name with the face." he said more politely so than Isabel, who now pouted. You laughed too, proffering your name and a few small details about yourself. Where you came from, what your college major was, although you were sure Isabel had already shared those facts for you in her eagerness to adopt you into the friend group, and more typical introductory details.

The server came around and asked drink orders. You went with your regular drink of choice, something that wouldn't get you drunk after one, but definitely not something to drink on all evening. Everyone else made their orders and you were surprised to find Levi had actually ordered something containing alcohol. Albeit, not much, but it was a start. Isabel had told you he wasn't much of the drinker with he exception of tea and the occasional coffee whilst studying together. Your elbow met his arm and his gaze quickly made its way over to you.

"I thought I heard you weren't much of a drinker?" you chided. He looked down to his hands, which sat clasped together atop the table, then leaned back in his chair, a hand brushing through his hair with a long sigh.

"Hange said if I didn't have some drinks tonight they would cancel the whole thing." he responded, irritation laced in his tone, a stone cold gaze now looking to the perpetrator. You laughed loudly.

"I'm sure that's not true." you responded as your drink was placed into your field of vision. You took a sip right away, savoring the way this restaurant made it. This may be the best variation of the drink you had drank before. You'd have to ask for the recipe they used if they'd give it to you.

As you sipped at your drink, you side eyed Levi, who hesitantly took a sip of his own. His nose scrunched and he stirred into the drink more with the cocktail straws, taking another sip, seemingly satisfied with how it tasted now. You engaged in idle chatter with the group, only ordering appetizers and splitting them all amongst yourselves evenly. You insisted you boot Levi's portion of the bill, but Erwin met that proposition with a strong and resounding 'No'.

After two drinks you began feeling warm for the evening, ready to shed your coat at the next location the night took you too. You only followed his friends, not sure what they had in mind. You were sure they had regular locations they frequented and such.

You walked behind the group next to Levi, noticing the silence between the two of you was much more comfortable than earlier in the evening at your shared home. You found yourself enjoying his company more and more so.

Isabel suddenly came up behind you, tossing an arm over your shoulders and the other over Levi's. You stumbled, laughing. As you regained your footing, you caught the heavy glare Levi pointed her direction.

"Can't yell at me tonight bro!" she shouted, laughing loudly. You laughed along, wondering how their dynamic would usually be in your absence. It seemed her lifelong dream may have been to get on every last nerve roaming through his body you thought, maybe even Hange too. You were almost certain they planned antics to annoy him together.

The group made their way inside the next location and the first thing you did was shed the stuffy coat, draping it across your arm. Christmas music boomed loudly across the speakers as it intertwined with the bar's usual playlist.

You followed the group as they made their way through groups of dancing people to a table tucked in the back corner of the bar. You sat your coat atop a chair, scheming how you would pay for all of Levi's drinks for the remainder of the evening.

"What would everyone like? I'll go grab it!" you asked the group as they attempted to make themselves comfortable atop the booth behind the table. You opened a note in your phone and began writing them down.

"I'll come with you. You can't carry it all." Levi announced, standing. You noticed his blazer now shed off as well, another button undone on his dress shirt. It was now your turn to eye him, down and up. When your eyes returned to his face, his eyes met your own with what you could swear was the faintest hint of a knowing smile.

You walked to the bar, grabbing ahold of his shirt sleeve once more as you followed. You squeezed between two people's shoulders and leaned against the bar to wait your turn for a server. You turned your head over both shoulders to find Levi, his hand perched to your left side on the bar and right on his hip. You felt safely encaged, like no one could hurt you. While he didn't stand much taller than yourself, he definitely held an intimidating aura, something you couldn't say was a quality of your own.

You quickly looked back to the bartender as they were ready for your order and leaned further, allowing them to see your phone's notepad as you explained your new friend's drink orders. She nodded, stalking off to quickly make the requested list and move to the next.

Once she returned, you began handing Levi drinks and carried four on your own, which you were quite impressed with. Maybe your old serving job was useful in some aspects. You carefully walked back to the table as to not cause a mess or drop anything.

"Alright. Here's Furlan's, Isabel's, Hange's, and Levi's." you recited, handing the drinks to each respective person and setting Levi's in front of the seat that held his jacket. You turned to grab the remaining drinks out of his hands, smiling as your eyes met his own. He wasn't one to smile nor show emotion much, always stoic, you noticed. You turned back and set your own drink next to the seat you had discarded your jacket in and also next to Levi's.

"And finally mine, Erwin's, Moblit's, and Miche's." you finished. You clapped your hands together and made your way to your seat after Levi made his way in.

After loud idle chatter about anything and everything, Isabel and Hange insisted that you come to the dance floor with them, and despite your considerable amount of protesting, you ended up in major defeat as both of them grabbed ahold of each of your arms, dragging you out of your chair.

You laughed as you danced with them in a circle, each of you holding one of the other two's hands, skipping around. Some of the classic club songs blared through the speakers and your last drink began creeping into your bloodstream. You laughed harder at the heinous dancing Hange managed to pull off, curled over with your eyes closed, laughing the hardest you think you ever had.

You felt a finger tap your shoulder and you straightened your posture, eyes meeting the perpetrator. Isabel leaned close to your ear, telling you the group wanted to take shots and you should head to the table. You nodded and followed behind her and Hange, all holding hands so you wouldn't lose each other in the now packed and large crowd.

You placed your hands atop the edge of the table as you reached it to steady your balance, laughing as you thought of a silly dance Hange had done on the dance floor, your gaze meeting Levi's. Despite his lack of emotion, he didn't seem to be having a bad time. He seemed the type to enjoy the company of his friends and be hellbent on not showing it.

Shot glasses full of bright red liquid were dispersed and you attempted to ask what it was. The overall consensus was that it was a Christmas themed drink. You shrugged and downed the shot after Hange's loud and enthusiastic countdown.

You returned to the dance floor, more of the group joining along, with the exception of Erwin and Levi, who remained chatting away at the table. You couldn't help it, but you found yourself gazing his way the entire evening. You wished he was the dancing type.

After another shot later in the evening, you all had decided to filter outside in search of your next location. You had also succeeded in paying for all of Levi's drinks, much to Erwin's dismay, who insisted paying the entire bill every place you went to.

You opted to not put your coat back on, allowing the cold weather to sober you. You couldn't help but smile as you watched the group. You hoped to become a permanent part of it.

You felt a nudge to your shoulder and looked towards Levi, his hands in his pockets as he walked. Your cheeks were warm and your smile grew wider as he encased his hands over your shoulders, rubbing lightly. You were a bit cold. Maybe he could tell? You had surrendered your coat to Isabel, who had forgotten her own at home.

"Enjoying yourself?" he asked. You nodded eagerly.

"I should be asking you that question." you responded, nudging him back. He shook his head and you all opted for the last location of the evening to be a small coffee shop cafe, something they apparently did routinely after going out for the night. You never did get to finish your peppermint mocha earlier in the evening.

You walked up to the shop, ordering another of the aforementioned drink. Levi had opted for tea, and everyone else some variation of a hot chocolate or coffee. You filtered out of the door, allowing more patrons to filter in before hearing a screech and howling laughter that could only belong to one person behind you.

Your eyes turned to Hange, who pointed a finger curtly above your head, still laughing. Your eyes widened as they met the bundle of leaves and small white fruit hanging above you. Your eyes met the pair of also widened steely greys in front of you.

"You have to! It's bad luck if you don't!" Isabel shouted. Erwin and Moblit could only shake their heads at the antics of the two troublemakers, who doubled over howling with laughter.

What do you do? You don't want to reject Levi. Nor do you want bad luck during the incoming year. If anything, you currently wanted him to kiss you. You shrugged your shoulders and his eyes scanned your features, down to your lips and back to your own gaze. You wet your lips with your tongue unconsciously, stepping closer to your roommate.

And as if by chance, the cheesy Christmas music playing the entire evening filtered through the cafe doors as they opened. The line in the music gave you a sense of (false?) confidence, a sense of this being fated to happen in your tipsy state.

'So kiss me on this cold December night.'

You lightly placed your hands over his arms and his own met your shoulders hesitantly, circling his thumbs over them once more. His eyes scanned over your face once again, as if asking permission. You nodded, closing your eyes, and soon after felt a pair of warm plush lips capture your own. And like a ghost, they were there one second and gone the next.

You forgot about the group behind you, your eyes opening and meeting the pair in front of you. Your smile beamed once more, the group behind you hooping and hollering at the two of you. He really smiled for the first time that evening.

As you made your way home, the hands that were once shoved into his pockets now held a warm drink and your own warm hand in comfortable silence.

----

You awoke to the smell of coffee wafting through the apartment. Christmas Eve, the day to wrap all of the presents you had meant to wrap the evening prior, a task that needed to be done before you left for your family's home.

You stretched yourself awake, abandoning your bed to make yourself not look such a mess before making your way into your shared living quarters. You eyed your phone, the time still quite early.

"Good morning Levi." you said, pouring yourself a cup of the still hot coffee. He muttered a good morning back to you, typing across the keyboard on his laptop once more.

"Got any plans for the day?" you asked him, elbows leaning atop the counter he currently sat on the other side of. His eyes met yours as he shook his head.

"You're looking at them." he responded, and you remembered your similar conversation the evening prior. Did he have no family to go home to? On his birthday? Maybe they lived close and he'd go the next day.

"How about you?" he asked, eyes still scanning the laptop screen. You shrugged.

"Wrapping presents and driving to my family's house. I haven't seen them in a while. I'm pretty excited." you spouted, rambling on about your family to him. You noticed halfway through he had stopped typing and removed his glasses, fully intent to listen to your words.

"What's your family like Levi?" you asked. Any more hints to get an idea as to what you could get him for his birthday tomorrow may come from information on his family.

"I don't have one." he responded. Your eyes widened, taken aback.

"What do you mean?" you asked in thought. Before he could respond you realized the insensitivity of the question. "Never mind you don't have to answer. I'm prying." you answered yourself.

"It's alright. I don't mind telling you. My mom died when I was young and I don't really know my dad." he said quietly with a small shrug of his shoulders. You nodded, your eyes widening as an idea sprung to mind. His face contorted to one of confusion at your sudden beaming smile.

"Come with me to my family's! We'll be back the day after Christmas!" you shouted, your hands slapping over the top of his across the countertop after abandoning your coffee for the second time in as many days.

"It'll be so much fun I promise. they're a little crazy at times, but I don't think it's fair to spend your birthday alone Levi." you continued, almost pleading. His gaze looked to the ceiling in thought before meeting your own once more.

"Okay. Yeah. I'll do it." he responded. You squealed in happiness, quickly sputtering that you had to call your mom before grabbing your coffee and prancing off to your room, closing the door shut.

You found your mom's contact, calling her to let her know the situation. You knew how your parents were, there with open arms to anyone who needed it. And they'd be damned if they also didn't have something there for Levi as well. You had a small pull out couch in your childhood room you could sleep on, opting to let him take the bed as it was larger.

You eagerly spouted a plan to your mother, different gifts for him you thought he would like so she could purchase them. She was just as excited as you it seemed. She always loved when you brought friends home. She loved your big heart even more, which was the main reason she indulged in the company of your friends.

You wrapped your family's presents quickly afterwards, eager to drive to your parent's house in Levi's company. Once you finished wrapping everything or stuffing it into respective gift bags, you stuffed changes of clothes into your suitcase along with your laptop and other items you may need during your visit.

You re-entered the living room at eleven, Levi also packing up his needed items, a suitcase sat next to the door and you set your own next to his. You filtered in and out of your room, stacking the presents next to your cargo. Once you were certain you had everything, you quickly made a to go coffee in a thermos before grabbing your keys, warming your car up as you packed everything into it.

You talked back and forth on the way about school and the friend group you had been assured you were now a part of. You had received more than enough details about Levi to get him gifts of your own after the drive, allowing your mother to steal the ideas you had learned of him the night prior.

You and your mother decided together she could buy the Christmas gifts, and you the birthday gifts.

----

You made a quick pitstop at the strip mall down the street from your parents that you frequented as a teen. Levi walked into the store behind you, and you made the excuse that you needed to pick up one more present for your mother, Levi didn't fail to mention the large load of presents you had already packed into your car.

He scanned over a rack of clothing and you used that as your chance to hastily escape, picking up a few gifts your mother had told you she hadn't gotten yet over text.

When you were satisfied with your selection, you made your way to the front to pay and found Levi quite easily in the shop, letting him know you were finished.

You ran back to the heat of your car, the remaining five minutes of your drive felt so long.

----

As you pulled into the driveway, you beeped the horn of your car lightly to let your family know you had arrived. You parked and exited the car as your parents and four year old younger brother stepped onto your porch. You little brother beelined it for you and you laughed, kneeling down to his level. He jumped into your arms and shouted your name. You spun him around and hugged him tightly, balancing him atop your hip bone with one arm, leaning in to hug your father.

Your mother made her way to Levi, letting him know how happy she was he could join you to see your family and that he was always welcome. Typical motherly things you always appreciated about her. You watch as she gave him a hug and smiled, a soft smile making it's way across his lips as he conversed with her.

Your father helped you unpack your car, grabbing your suitcases and setting them down. He handed a present to your brother, ensuring him the sole responsibility to make sure it got under the tree safely, allowing him to help in bringing yours and Levi's belongings inside. Your brother nodded eagerly, excited to help. Your mother and father grabbed the rest of what you had in the car and you wheeled your suitcase inside.

It smelled of cookies and coffee inside. Your eyes met the Christmas decor littered across the house. A kids Christmas movie played at low volume on the TV for your younger brother and you grabbed Levi's arm, who had also been admiring the decor, and dragged him to the room you'd both be staying in, your childhood room.

Your mother had already prepared your room to accommodate the both of you and you emptied a few of the drawers in your dresser for Levi. You both unpacked your things and you abandoned the suitcases in your closet.

He sat atop the bed once he was finished and eyed the boyband and more embarrassing aspects of decor littered across your room. You plopped down next to him.

"Seems you were quite the fangirl." he observed. Your cheeks heated and you nudged his arm, muttering something about all kids having a fixation when they were young.

Once done in your room, he followed you to your living room down the stairs and you made your way to the tree, helping your mother sort the rest of the gifts. She went all out every year without fail, and your eyes scanned the group of gifts that listed Levi's name.

You turned to your mother and threw your arms over her shoulders, whispering a thank you to her. She nodded, spouting he was happy to do it all.

Levi made himself comfortable on the couch next to your father, who asked if he would like a beer, the TV channel changed to some sports game that was happening. He nodded, not wanting to turn your father down. You made your way to your younger brother, who busied himself with a halfway built puzzle.

You sat next to him, pulling a cushion off the lounge chair behind you to sit on. Levi eyed you as he sipped his beer, your mother bringing you a drink as well. Homemade spiked cider had become your favorite to drink on when you came home and she made it perfectly every year without fail.

You had talked to your mother about hiding a couple of your share of Levi's gifts for the next day, opting to actually open gifts for Christmas that evening so you could celebrate Levi's birthday to the fullest the next day.

After helping with the puzzle, you stood, plopping onto the couch next to Levi, watching the game with him. His knee shook up and down as he sipped the beer idly, and you set a hand atop his own, wrapping your fingers over it. His knee stopped bouncing and his gaze met yours.

"Don't be nervous. Trust me. There's nothing you could do wrong around my family. They already love you." you assured him in a whisper. He nodded, letting out a sigh.

"Sorry. Fathers make me nervous." he said. You shook his knee side to side, and his hand wrapped tighter around your own, both of your gazes turning back to the game on the TV.

After dinner that evening, gift opening commenced. You found your seat next to Levi once more, your cup of cider hot and full once more, Levi now drinking on the same thing, and watched your brother carefully open his gifts. He was calm for a four year old, not too energetic, something you appreciated about him. Your parents instilled his manners at an early age as they had done with you.

Then it was your turn. You set your cup down, carefully opening the assortment of gifts your family had gotten for you. Some new jewelry you had eyes for right after Christmas the prior year, some little plushes you adored that your brother insisted you had to have when he saw them in the store, nice stationary for school, some in trend clothing, and a skincare brand you always used.

Your mother and father opened their gifts from you, your father's a nice watch, and your mother's a necklace that had your brother's and your birthstone's embedded into it. She instantly had your father put it around her neck and she insisted she would wear the necklace to her grave.

Then it came to Levi's, whose eyes widened at the fact you had gotten him anything at all. You leaned your shoulder to his own and his gaze met yours, hands hesitantly reaching for the wrapped boxes your father handed to him.

He opened them with surprise. You had dug through the kitchen cabinets in his absence to find his favorite teas and maybe those that were of a higher price point to get him more, a nice watch as well, and nice stationary for him too as you mentioned to your parents he attended the same university.

His eyes met your own, still wide, then your parents, smiles across their faces.

"You didn't have to do all this for me." was all he could mutter out. You shook your head.

"Of course we did! Quit being humble honey! Besides, there's more where that came from for tomorrow." your mom said, walking over to embrace him once more, then your father, and finally you. Your little brother wanted in on the action, jumping over the two of you, wrapping an arm around your neck and the other around Levi's, a group hug commencing. He had already become part of the family, much like he had adopted you into his friend group.

----

The next morning, Levi's birthday, you awoke especially early, trying not to stir him from sleep as you exited your room to help your mother decorate the house for Levi's birthday. Before exiting the door, with a soft smile, you whispered a quiet happy birthday, leaving and closing the door quietly.

You had a lot of work to do, your mother already started a pot of coffee, a cup sitting on the counter for you already. You worked quietly to adorn the house in birthday decor, your mother had made a cake already and it cooled outside so you could decorate it.

You blew up balloons, careful to not let them pop. Your brother eventually awoke, helping you blow up the balloons as your mother taped the tops to the ceiling and you worked to wrap and curl ribbon around the bottoms.

Your father then awoke, grabbing the hidden gifts and placing them on your living room table. You made a cup of the tea you had gotten Levi as you were sure he would wake up soon. You changed into your chosen outfit of the day and got ready in your mother and father's room.

Levi appeared five minutes after, and you handed him the tea you had made.

"Surprise!" you shouted. He was taken aback once more, eyeing the littering of birthday decor that now sat covering the Christmas decor.

"You're insane. You really didn't have to do all of this." he said, eyes following along the decor you meticulously placed around for the better part of the morning. You received a side hug from him and something about the whole situation just felt homey and domestic. You wanted to lock it up and keep it forever.

You all worked together to prepare breakfast, your father playing a Christmas parade on the TV that your brother watched intently, already slowly eating on the first pancake that left the pan, his eyes glued to the television.

You all sat around the living room as you ate breakfast, your mother and father drilling Levi with questions about university and his graduate program. Oh no. It sounded like the boyfriend talk was upon you.

You eyed your mother mouthing a heavy 'NO' to her, smiling as your father continued rambling on. She nodded, nudging your father, who seemed to understand. You smiled, shaking your head, as they changed the subject from the impending talk.

You comfortably leaned against Levi, your father bringing the last gift to Levi out. You were most excited for this one. You had drilled Erwin fro information the night you went out together when Levi was away from your table. You sent quite a nice amount of money to your mother to have the jewelry shop expedite your order the previous morning, the main reason you had stopped by the strip mall.

"I hadn't planned on giving this to you till after Christmas, because I didn't know your plans, but here it is." you said, watching as he opened it. It was a ring, gold to match the watch your father had gotten him, with his birthstone set in the center, a script across the band you had gotten out of Erwin, a quote Levi had found in a book that he very much so enjoyed.

'Dedicate your heart." it read across the band

"How do you know about this?" Levi asked, sliding the ring onto his finger.

"Let's just say that I'm pretty amazing at grilling your friends for all of your information without you hearing about it." you responded. His eyes met yours and you smiled, your cheeks warming. You could blame it on the cider your mother made again, but you didn't think you would this time.

The look in his eyes matched that of the evening before Christmas Eve when you had gone out together, and you readied yourself to kiss him. You pulled him by the front of his sweater and captured his lips with your own.

Maybe the boyfriend talk wouldn’t be so bad if it was Levi you were with.

——

A/N: I definitely had a different vision for how this would go but I wrote it in two days in my free time and kind of hate it lol. Just straight cute fluff!! Please let me know what you think!

[yippieitsarvensart]

Tweels hc doodles + notes!

Goodness me, I've not been working on these for very long but here's all of what I've thought of within 2 days of thinking about them!! I basically started writing about them the moment I finished drawing "the fuck you brothers" post (9/24) (and today, 9/26) I totally have been thinking about them more after I wrote all this, so I will be continuing on with my hcs right here, under the cut :3 (keep in mind I have not yet played twst! If I get anything gravely wrong correct me!) (9/28, edit: I downloaded twst y'all...)

Both of the twins are autistic, just being on very different ends of er... intensity? Idk how to word that. I just mean that Floyd is someone who has trouble regulating his emotions and stims a lot. Jade doesn't stim as often, he probably would if he were infodumping about mushrooms/his terrariums or whatever else. I think I mean. That Jade suppressed his autistic tendencies by a lot to seem more like a gentleman, while Floyd doesn't really give much of a shit and probably doesn't even know he's autistic.

on that note they both have ADHD. AuDHD brothers.

Anyways as I way saying abt Floyd stimmies; He stims a LOT. Just, all the damn time. It gets so annoying for a lot of people and everyone knows he can't control it. His clingyness is also stimming, he's very touchy. A lot of stim toys don't actually help him but he does calm down significantly more when he's wearing headphones and listening to loud music. That's what stimulates him the most.

Jade only stims when excited, yeah I mentioned that. But did I mention he also stims a lot when stressed. In front of costumers, if he was stressed he might only fiddle with his fingers behind his back. But as soon as he gets away it's full body stimming time baby. Mans is not okay but he cannot let that mask slip!! (I forgot the word before, but I meant to say in my first dotpoint that jade is better at masking than Floyd!!)

Floyd mcr liker >_< (songs about depression and drugs to think about violence to!) Floyd also likes shit like "41 mins of roblox music" or any spongebob music. skull emoji.

Jade Laufey liker :33 (calm songs to think about violence to!)

Floyd likes dancing around in his room to music. Like really getting into it. Putting one song on loop and doing the same dance moves over and over again. (stimming) (oh my god I'm PROJECTING AGAIN stop....)

Jade likes drawing mushrooms. He's really good at drawing nature and when I say "good" I mean if you looked at it, you'd think it was a picture. Like abnormally good for someone who used to not even have paper available...

I saw this from a moot once on twitter I think, but they both (+ Azul) probably had a hard time adjusting to walking around everywhere instead of swimming when they first came onto land. And I think there was something about holding on to bars on stairs WAYY too tight because they feel so wobbly going up them. Same with like, escalators? and elevators? didn't fucking trust them. And they still don't sometimes... Adding onto this I think that they'd both get really frustrated at first with it. Like genuinely really upset; Floyd dramatically falling to the floor and flailing around on the verge of tears while Jade punches the ground over and over... They obviously got better at land things after a long while but for a bit they were just so. not okay LOL

I think for casual/home clothes they'd both be really into big fluffy jumpers. massive fucking huge fluffy shits. They'd be all over the texture and it would be so so texture /pos drooling emoji

I had a little thing that I thought of where I would give Floyd Heart shaped eye shines PLUS an extra smaller not heart eye shine. And giving Jade a square shaped shine with no extra shines. It just makes so much sense to me. Like I can't explain it very well but if you get it, you get me. Do you get me...

WHICH leads me to say then that when Floyd gets MAD he would have NO eye shines. Do you get me. I totally make sense right/. And Jade getting happy about anything even if it doesn't show on his face it would totally show in his eyes... Which also brings me back to something I wrote in my doodle notes with the pupils being like cats... OUGH I'M GOING INSANE DO I MAKE SENSE

another thing my twt moot said !! Floyd would hate necklaces/rings/other accessories and jewelry! It relates back to my point about Floyd hating the feeling of tight clothes, and things touching his skin too much. I feel like if he had say, a necklace on for like 0.1s he would rip it the fuck off, destroying the necklace in the process

Floyd: :3 (aggressive)

Floyd loving to squeeze people but hurting them is 90% of the time on purpose hurting and 10% accidental hurting and when it IS accidental he gets so upset about it. I like to think Floyd is the more emotional out of the two... just so many emotions in that boy. like he just !! wants to give you love !!! but he's so strong he breaks ur ribs !!!! many of ur ribs!! ur honestly surprised you haven't punctured a lung yet!!!

On that note they BOTH are extremely touch starved. Floyd would fucking LOVE it if someone were to lay down on top of him for hours he would feel so squished!! and warm and nice!! and comfy!

Jade on the other hand, LOVES holding hands. holding ONTO something holding onto someONE.

Jade is a gift giver (love language) I bet you can't guess what Floyd is

His love language is Physical touch. Yeah

Jade getting people way too many gifts when it's a special occasion for them because he thinks they might think it's weird if he gets them a gift on any other day.

Floyd hyperpop liker (just overall really likes loud thrashy music or whatever)

Floyd also really got into those games where you have to beat the shit out of a dummy. He doesn't like ones where you have to TIME a hit to make it work (makes him annoyed bc he can't do it) Games like Pou I think....

While Jade enjoys colour by number or those hue games? just doing it in his free time.

[thedroneranger]

The Drone Ranger's Be Kind Rewind ⏪ gretagerwigsmuse Edition!

A rec reblog series dedicated to the fics that we love so much, we've re-read them!

Our next Rewind is: @gretagerwigsmuse! Jordan, I'm so thrilled you wanted to participate in this series—thank you 🖤 I am also excited because there are quite a few creators that haven't been mentioned yet! We're spreading the love!

While we continue to churn out amazing new content, let's be kind and rewind to look at some of the OG content we love! And don't forget to reblog when you re-read! Continue to show your comfort fics and favorite creators some love. It helps keep the fresh content coming :)

Let's keep this going throughout the summer. If you're interested in participating in the Be Kind Rewind, message me. The more, the merrier!

If you want to know when a new Rewind drops, join the tag list, and check out previous Rewinds!

Also, Jordan is a true Bradshaw Baddie™, so this is a Bradshaw-only Rewind!

fics below the cut (listed in alphabetical order by title)

‘cause no one breaks a heart like you, @heartsofminds i genuinely think loren ruined my life with this fic. like no exaggeration i SOBBED reading it the first time and it leaves an ache in my heart just thinking about it again! the reader here is so real to me, like i see myself in so much of her and her mannerisms and character traits and just want to love her and tell her it’s going to be okay. and then bradley??? god i can’t hate him. i really can’t hate him because he IS good and kind he’s just - he’s my this is me trying boy and i can’t wait to see what loren does with him next 

days like this, @sometimesanalice oh my god this fic really hits the spot for me. alexa you already know how much i love this fic. it’s sweet and smutty and soft and sad and beautiful and just is everything i’d ever want in a relationship. alexa’s readers, sweet girl in particular, are so real and have so much depth that they come right off the page and into my heart. through alexa’s writing, the reader’s struggles, despite not being something i’ve ever personally dealt with, were so easy for me to resonate with? and i just wish that whenever i had a shitty day i had a bradley as sweet and kind and supportive as hers to help me feel like i’m living in a van morrison song 

halo effect, @bradshawsbitch oh damn. this is a smutty smutterson kind of fic! BUT alex treats their relationship with so much respect and care. i’m naturally kind of wary of power imbalance relationships in fics, but alex made this feel real and plausible and that it was built on trust and respect. the repeated mentions of the conversations the two have re their relationship really made this fic for me and i think about it….often haha

in another life, @jupitercomet similar to loren’s fic, this fic (and series) hits so so close to home for me. i love how bugs tackles mental health in this one and honey’s very real reason for not thinking she should have kids. the relationship between bradley and honey - though not without its faults - is based on so much love and respect. the two of them imagining another life where they have kids and have this completely different future together is so bittersweet and soft 

inconceivable, @roleycoleyreccenter i feel like i cry reading half the fics on this list, but this is another one of those ‘i was crying so hard i had to get up in the middle of reading this to get a tissue and blow my nose’ fics. i love how much love they have for one another, but how stubborn the reader is (it’s not her fault tho!) and that bradley is so patient and kind and listens to her and knows her and her body and little idiosyncrasies (and the flight paths be draws on her back and singing love of my life and the fucking BINDERS and his READING GLASSES). i read this one a lot when i need a good cry but also a happy ending

miss you most…at christmas time, @notroosterbradshaw so obviously i love bradley and love from the boyfriend experience series, but this is absolutely my favorite entry from that series and i go back to it when i get too sad reading slow dancing in a burning room. this is one of those fics that feels so human and raw to me because it must be so hard to not have your husband around during the holidays, but tack on being a very very new mom? and your husband hasn’t even met your child yet?? god queue the waterworks! they’re so in love with each other and so irked by that damn navy and just want to be their own little family for the holidays!

new rules, @sushiwriterhere i love this trope so much and it’s done so well in this fic! bradley and the reader are ‘friends with benefits’ or so the reader thinks and wait actually do we go on friend dates or do we just spend all this time together because we’re in love?? i want soft tipsy warm bradley around me all the time 

the one where they go camping, @ofstoriesandstardust this is my favorite one of kylie’s fics off my favorite series of hers, flight risk. it’s so fun seeing sunshine and bradley pining after each other even in college and the whole uva crew is so awesome. like there is BED SHARING in this! i repeat BED SHARING! and longing glances and impromptu cooking lessons and lusty (respectful) stares in bathing suits and tears and misunderstandings. it’s just so cute i love it

you left your name on my lips, @blurredcolour honestly, this fic GUTTED me the first time i read it. i genuinely had to stop in the middle of reading it to text alexa to read it too. i just loved how realistic everything was like the level of detail that went into it was unreal! i went to college in dc and absolutely felt like i was back there during certain parts. and the letters?? oh my god the letters!!! bradley bradshaw you are a dreamboat in this fic 

wish you were here (part 1, part 2), @pisupsala i know a lot of people have recommended ‘one for the history books’ (would like to shout out that i was an og reader on that one tyvm!), but this two parter of bradley and darcy is my absolute favorite. i just am continuously in awe of their relationship and how real it feels to me? i love that not everything is perfect and happy go lucky all the time just because they’re together now? like darcy is allowed to be mad bradley isn’t around a lot to help her settle into their new house, they’re both allowed to be fallible and to me that’s what makes this the perfect series and fic? they’re real and honest and they love each other so fucking much and hang shelves together in the living room and fly halfway across the country to be there for their wife. they’re one of my fave oc/reader couples

Creator’s Own 

i have a huge soft spot for my fic (christmas) baby please come home. in addition to being an amazing darlene love song, i really liked exploring a different side of bradley and smart aleck’s relationship in this fic and felt like this was one of the first times i’ve really gotten into her head. plus, i love a good party and this one was so fun to map out ☺️ it’s also the start of a new era for bradley and smart aleck and one i’m continuing with my next fic rocketman! 

Tag list and friends: @petcr3 @desert-fern @Sagittarius-Lovewitch @mygyn @sweetwhispersofchaos @horseshoegirl @the-annoying-fan @dingochef @moon42flight @thecitysgraveyard @ereardon @roosterforme @cherrycola27@galaxy-of-stories@taytaylala12 @malindacath @violyn20 @awildewit @potato-girl99981 @shanimallina87 @blue-aconite @djs8891 @linkpk88 @furiousladyking @daggerspare-standingby @princess76179 @jstarr86 @hecate-steps-on-me @darkheartcherry @soulmates8 @roosters-girl @dempy @roosterisdaddy36 @hangmanscoming @s-u-t @mavrellover91 @chicomonks @averyhotchner 

A kind reminder, this is a 18+ blog. While not all stories in the recommendation list are 18+, please respect boundaries and do not interact unless you are 18 years of age or older.

[mysunandmoon98]

Sending waves to wave to earth as we grow alongside each other across the ocean 🌊

(rambings from a while back, edited to be coherent, please share this time of love with me)

I am someone who often questions things about myself, especially the things I am into and enjoy. I like to figure about exaclty what it is that captivates me. Wave to earth have been on my mind a lot recently with their US tour kicking off. Subsequently I started to wonder a little, what is it about this band that I am so captivated by and feel so connected to? To put it simply, music is art, and I honestly live day to day examening and thinking about art. What draws me into art is typically one of two things: admiration to anothers dedication/view of life or its relatability and how I see myself in that art, how it fits with my daily life and thoughts. Wave to earth's music is one of those gems that fulfils both categories. What captured me was their specific nestling into a blur of genres, and their appreciation and dedication to art, as well as their lyrics about life and love.

The first live performance of theirs that I watched was purple lake. It was just daniel and donkgyu in a little room, I vividly remember the purple glow of the room, and the multi coloured lights dancing across the walls. Dongkyu had a pair of sunglasses hanging from his shirt. Watching that performance, when the camera pans to dongkyu on the drums, it felt like the whole universe had singled into this one person, fulfilling their passion and translating feelings into sound. I had never been so captivated in this way before.

I started getting more into the lyrics too. I had been a fan of Daniel for a little while before I heard wave to earth so was familiar with his voice and lyrical style from the little snippets of what I understood before. I vividly remember one day, sat at the kitchen table listening to seasons, just recently after its release. I sat there with the lyrics in front of me, and I felt my heart warm a little. A delicate hum of pain and nostalgia which stuck with, and resonated with me so strongly. "I'd give you all my life, my seasons" Listening to songs like light, wave, ride and surf made me fall more in love with life. The link of love and life with the sea and nature fit hand in hand so beautifully. It gives a sense of connection, a grounding feeling, whilst also somehow making me feel like i'm floating in the clouds, my mind completely at peace, even in the middle of a hectic day.

Then as the autumn and winter come, I grativiate to songs such as bonfire and bird. A couple years ago, on my journeys back home from college, I would listen to these songs as the sun set. I shut the door on a difficult day listening to music that made life feel beautiful again. "Bird, how does it feel to fly. Hey bird, do you look down or forward?" These lyrics stuck in my mind, as I felt stuck in the sickening routine my life had back then. Do I look down to my heart, do I look to myself, to this moment, or do I look into the future? How is everyone around me living, how do you see? I felt confused, life was a blur of one day to the next. I would listen so intently, every lyric, every chord. One listen for the lyrics, one for Daniel's voice, one for the drums, one for the bass, one for the harmonies, one for it all together. It was moments of peace in during a messy time. From this, I found one of my big happinesses in life: bass guitar. I was drawn into John Cha's bass lines. I always pondered on which was a favourite. For autumn, I like bonfire, the bass gives a rich yet fluttering feeling, like fireflies dancing in the night. There is a certain part in gold which I adore it's like velvet, so smooth, so deep but also powerful. Then in daisy, in this one break- where often the guitar gets centre stage, there is just this epic breakdown, giving that depth, that almost tangible grip on the song, all the desire and the love just bursts out, and I think its incredible. I came to realise how beatiful bass guitar is. I love the melodic charm of John's playing, the variations during live performances too (I remember learning the term 'bass fills' from his youtube, which I know I probably use incorrectly haha, but just that little extra something special, I love it). I'm not too educated on music, I really only write from the heart, but I feel like John's playing, it really feels like another voice, another vocal, another expression of the lyrics. I never understood music in this way before, so deeply, so interconnected, so beautifully.

From this, music became such a bigger part of my life. I started listening to more instrumental songs, and I gained a whole new outlook on music and instruments. Side B of flaws and all... it really is my everything, that lofi jazz sound they have.. it is everything to me, and sparked my love for a new kind of music. I listen to side A when its sunny and bright out, as well as when my gloomy days need some sunshine. "I'm broken, so take me to the evening glow, and lay me down on the sun, the tender sun" This song, their music, is like a warm ray of sunshine.

So I think about this a lot, as time passes and things change. I feel I have changed and grown, and I look and see their success as a band and see how they have changed and grown and I feel immense happiness. I adore how wave to earth craft their music, their performances, their albums covers. It is always a big creative inspiration in my life. So I just wanted to talk about it, I'm a little bit lost for words, but these days I find myself tearing up thinking about these things so I just wanted to try and express how my heart has been feeling :')

[marwhoa]

request: Musician Reader who has a concert in some soon time (maybe in a month or even could be less than a month)

And is stressed about it because not only the concert is coming near and it feels like every practice time, something would go wrong (maybe keep messing up part of the piece or feels like they dont have enough time?) Especially since the concert is the reader's and (insert turtle's) anniversary and didnt want to mess things up (also to make it more special reader composed a song for the anniv!) But at the end reader managed and played it in the concert as (insert turtle) watch them play the song! (Ofc hidden because ya know.. mutant whole situation lol)

🝮 “ mikey & the rose burns ”

rise!mikey x rockstar!g/n

author’s note: i totally wasn’t listening to “pov: you’re at a concert” YouTube playlists, just in case you were wondering? while i was editing the format to post this, the font size suddenly became large asf so i hope this posts normal 💀 (help me)

word count: 1.4k

As your hands fiddled with your guitar’s tuning heads, the nervous buzz coursing through your very soul could hardly be brushed aside. There was a performance quickly approaching, and the stakes were higher than ever. It was your first gig in a much bigger stage, which meant this was going to pull an even bigger audience than any shoddy underground basement bar could ever draw in.

Not only that, but this concert had sunk its teeth straight into you and your boyfriend’s anniversary date.

So, to say that you were a tad bit stressed by the heat set for this show? Well, now that would be a gross under-statement.

“ Damn it, try it again, Y/N, you missed your cue, scatterbrain! “

“ Ah, sorry Missy. “

You winced at your drummist’s outburst, tuning back into the present training session. There was only a few weeks left until this performance, and you needed to get it squared away. Missy huffed, ticking away on the drums as she cocked her head towards the band’s bassist, Jonah. You three were a ragtag crew, brought together by your producer after he felt you all would sound better together, rather than separate.

Fortunately for them, your vocals and lyricism skills were top notch, and being a lead guitarist who could sing? Well, that was just the common assumption, so it’s a good thing you nail both tasks, right?

Or well, you did. Until these mock sessions.

Each practice brought with it a set of problems, be it the strings of Jonah’s bass snapping last week, or Missy’s drumming being off key the first week, something had gone wrong. Now it was your turn, with poor timing and absentminded moments, it couldn’t have been a worse cocktail of trouble to give you cold feet.

“ Hey guys, I brought—whoa! You guys look horrible! Break time? “

The best part of it all was your adoring boyfriend dropping in on practice for whatever reasons he had in mind. Jonah and Missy were down-to-earth enough that Mikey’s… “ appearance ” was just another Tuesday to them, especially when he brought his amazing home cooked meals by.

“ Whoa Mikey, is that a pork risotto!? Haven’t you been spending months to perfect this? ”

Jonah collapsed at the table, inhaling the delicious aroma deeply as Missy sat just as roughly, practically salivating.

“ Jeez, Y/N, I’m so jealous that you get to experience culinary genius whenever you want! ”

“ What? No way, he’s my boyfriend, not my chef. I cook for myself a lot! “

Puffing out your chest, you feigned a playful air of “ insulted beyond belief!” and happily dug in to the bowl Mikey placed in front of you. He placed a kiss on your forehead before turning his gaze to everyone’s instruments.

“ Is practice running any smoother, guys? ”

He asked, jumping back a bit as he turned around to see everyone’s dulled spirits.

“ Ah man, Mikey, it’s… Well, it’s going, I guess. “

You sighed out, chomping a bite of the more-than-delightful array expanding out in your mouth. Flavors bounded across your tongue in an all-too-inspiring fashion. This happened to be just the light to ignite in your chest to get through this practice.

The night carried on with higher spirits, as it started to finally turn up. Mikey lingered, taking on the role of “ Personal Hype Man ”, which served to be just the buzz you all needed to wipe away some of the stress of the night.

Although, there was one song you all were keeping hidden from Mikey. It was going to be the “ bang! ” of the concert, a group-written song filled with everyone’s emotions. Consider it a thank-you letter, addressed to Mikey personally—with a teensy love letter tucked in, a solo verse written by your heart alone. Since the performance clouded any chance of a sweet anniversary date, your bandmates got the bright idea to make the concert the date! And they both had more than enough thanks to give to your boyfriend to begin with.

I mean, he boosted morale so much more than y’all’s shifty producer, from his warm meals to the refreshments all the way up to the hype man parts. If it weren’t for him, there may have been a longer road of fear and stress leading up to this gig.

So, you all grit your teeth and powered through mistakes, each trying to make your next practice better than the last. Each replay of the lyrics, strings, and the music left the band invigorated, hardly able to sleep at night, and much too excited for the upcoming night.

With all that preparation, the only thing buzzing through each of y’all as the room stirred with anticipation was straight, pure, and raw confidence.

“ Thank you for coming tonight—let me hear y’all give a great big yell for the Rose Burns! “

You leaned back from the mic, grinning wildly as your eyes cascaded across the sea of fans screaming out for y’all to play. One deep breath later and you all set off, playing through song to song. Under the stage lights, beads of sweat rolled down your head, but there wasn’t a care in the world as you all carried each lyric and note through with perfection. The fear chilling each practice was no where to be seen, and no mistakes sunk their teeth into any verse.

Heavy boots stomped to the beats, both on stage and from the fans before you. Lyrics slid from you and your mates’ lips like venom, bitter yet irresistible, and the music was enough to make even the shyest listener hear tonight jump and scream.

Cries from the crowd—some singing along, others cheering and dancing—pumped the band even further. As everything snowballed even bigger, your eyes finally landed upon the one you loved the most, up along the ceiling, perched along the building’s iron beams. Mikey could be seen bouncing along to each song as if he himself had written them. As a fan from one of your first solo gigs, you may have been insulted if he didn’t know every word. Well, to all but one of your songs. This one was a surprise.

“ This next song will be the last for the night, and is dedicated to a special someone in the crowd today. ”

You winked, watching the audience exchange glances as if looking for the special someone they’d never find. Pick in hand, you shook off the nervous jitters, exchanged glances with your mates, and yelled out a big “ let’s go ! “

Music filled the room, vibrating the floors, chairs, reverberating through the soles of the moving crowd. Not a single person was still nor quiet, as the room filled with the experience of loud, shared energy. This was an experience to go down in your memory, and you hoped that it would become a song that Mikey put on repeat.

Energy surged through the song, enlivening the room as Mikey regularly did. Notes bounding around the area’s walls with the very same fire he did everything with. Warmth filled the room, embodying those delicious moments at the table, and the crescendos of the music had everyone on their tippy-toes as it spilled into your solo.

Your voice wavered, standing strong as it was left to its self. Jonah and Missy’s instruments paled in the presence of your words, all spearing Mikey perfectly through the heart. Its message blanketed the audience, yet lovingly suffocated its receiver, straight until the last note. The words roared and filled the air, captivating with a tinge of longing that pushed you further.

The song’s end was one so impactful and subtle that the cheers and applause skipped for a second until roars bombarded the stage. Everyone poured their soul into tonight, and the energy of the crowd was evidence enough of its success.

“ Good night, New York! ”

All three of y’all beamed into your mics, laughing at some of the random remarks thrown from the audience. As the curtains drew, you caught sight of an orange blur that surely would meet you backstage.

First to the back, you were met by affectionate hands scooping you up into a tight embrace. Your back met the wall, and without warning your boyfriend’s lips met yours.

“ You were—that was, amazing! ”

Out of breath, Mikey’s hands cupped your cheeks roughly as he placed more and more kisses on your face and lips, up until you were both unraveling with laughter.

“ Hey, hey, lovebirds, leave that for your backstage rooms! ”

Missy and Jonah teased, dragging you both away with cacophonous laughter. Tonight had been a hit, and the future would only prove to bring even more packed nights.

[whatwewrotepodcast]

WIP Questionaire Tag Game

Thanks @jackiezenauthor for the tag!

On a bit of a The Second Coming run so I'll use that for this.

What was the first part of your wip that you created?

The first chapter? Haha so this is probably the 4th or 5th time we've re-written/re-done this story. The first version was about 120 hand written pages long, spewed out over a few weeks in high school. We then re-wrote the whole thing, it wound up being 150k+ words so we decided to turn it into a trilogy, and that's where we're at. But we very much started at the beginning, with chapter

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

Bleeding out by Imagine Dragons. ID is pretty much the soundtrack for this story, and was the main music we listened to while we wrote it and so they're always indelibly tied together in my mind. But this song sort of sums up the vibe really well to me.

3. Who are your favorite characters you've made? Why?

Belial is definitely a fan favourite for us. He was never really meant to be a main character - he was a side character! He was just an NPC! But somehow he ended up becoming vital to the story and then the next thing you know he's a POV character. Belial is such a great character because he's so complex. He's a good person! Kind of! But he isn't afraid to do what needs to be done and if that means doing things that aren't so savoury, he's willing to do that. He's loyal to those he thinks are deserving, he's brave when he thinks it'll make a difference. He's also extremely hot.

4. What other pieces of media do you think would share a fanbase for your story?

Hmmm interesting. I mean, I don't love the comparison but fans of Cassandra Clare would probably enjoy TSC because it does have similar feels and themes. Potentially also Laini Taylor? Anyone who likes modern fantasy? Maybe Good Omens fans too, though we're not nearly as funny haha.

5. What has been your biggest struggle while writing?

Oh my god the editing. Honestly we are in editing hell right now and it's just excruciating. It's so disheartening to have to throw big chunks of writing in the bin and have to write the scene again because it wasn't quite right.

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

There aren't really, which is kinda weird because we're both huge animal lovers.

7. How do your characters get around?(ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

Mostly in Merry's beat up old Kia.

8. What part of your wip are you working on?

Currently doing editing/rewrites on Anarchy, book two of the trilogy, a rough draft of which we spat out during a writing holiday back in 2020 and haven't had time to get back to.

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

We definitely have a couple of good ships, lots of action and great fight scenes, but I think (hope?) the characters are what people will enjoy. We want people to love our characters, to want to know more about them, to spend more time with them.

10. What are your hopes for your wip?

Honestly, publication with this one! We really think it has the chops to go the distance, we just need to find someone willing to take a chance on us. Or, for our podcast to get popular enough that we have a chance to self pub. Whatever works!

Tagging @illarian-rambling @cssnder and @xenascribbles

[bugnirvana]

HIIIIII ME AGAIN🥰 CAN I GET UHHHHHHHH FRED BENSON WITH A MALE READER WHERE UHHH HE SNEAKS INTO FREDS WINDOW LIKE STEVE DID WITH NANCY BUT THEY JUST CUDDLE INSTEAD 🤨

🌤🪟here comes the sun🪟🌤[Fred Benson x Reader]

warnings: might be ooc fred, not too much though!, cringe fluff shit but it’s ok

terms used: masculine (he/him, boyfriend, etc.)

author notes: YOUR REQUESTS ARE SO MUCH FUN LOLL I rlly hope u enjoy this 🙏 I had to search up a picture of him because I forgot if he was in st or not and pictures of Freddie from icarly came up LMAOAO. Anyway it’s just Fred being a silly little dude who likes the beatles. enjoy!! Also very short sorry

~Fred’s POV~

I sat on my bed listening to my favorite record, Abbey Road by The Beatles. I had just turned it on as background noise for journaling potential ideas for the school newspaper, all so I could bring them to Nancy and possibly get her to help my writing.

Deep in thought and reading, I was jotting things down. Something, however pulled me out of thought. Something-or someone- was knocking on my window. i turned down the window and adjusted my glasses to see what was doing it and go over to the window.

‘It’ just so happened to be [Y/N], my adoring and adorable boyfriend.

“What are you doing here??” I asked. He shot me a smirk, a very sly one at that.

“What? Am I not allowed to see my favorite boy in Hawkins—scratch that, the entire world?”

“Not at 10:30 at night while I’m having my Beatles and contemplation hour,” I said. He just ended up giving me a sad, sad look.

“Please, Freddy? It’s cold out here and it’s too far to go home..”

I sighed, reluctantly letting him into my room. I moved my writing and other reading material and sat it on my nightstand.

“Well? Are you just going to stand by the window like a weirdo or are you going to hang out with your ‘favorite boy’?” I questioned, but before I could even muster up a grin to the caliber he had given me before, I was tackled into the bed with a hug, wrapping my arms around him in return.

“For claiming it’s soooo very cold outside, you’re rather warm.” I remarked. He didn’t react, he looked so absolutely blissful, simply basking in my presence. Even I couldn’t deny how cute he is. “Well?”

“Mm….I’m like a radiator,” he said. He genuinely was so cute.

After a minute, I realized he had fallen asleep. I moved to a more comfortable position, dragging him along, and began drawing circles on his back.

I had began drifting off into sleep when my favorite song on Abbey Road came on, ‘Here Comes The Sun’. I cheesily sang the lyrics to him, thinking he wasn’t awake.

I guess I didn’t feel him smiling against my chest.

THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE LOLLL sorry if I didn’t characterize Fred right. I just read his wiki and it said he was the stereotypical nerd from the 80s with a big heart, so I kind of just decided to do this. Your requests are so funky I love them !!! Rlly hope u enjoyed this. Spree was rlly good lol. kurt kunkle for the win!

edit from when I woke up the morning after I wrote this: I literally read this over and couldn’t believe I wrote this shit. i love it so much lol

[coffee-in-veins]

Hey coffee! Hope you don't mind that I continue the ask game from a bit ago!

5 11 (drop a playlist if you want!) 14 and 24 (more like, where do you get your references) and 30!!

Have a good day <3!

hullo hullo o/

thank you for the ask! and don't worry, you can ask anything and even from very old asks if you wanna ^^ if i can answer, i will.

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

lately i'm posting almost everything i have that i feel "finished" online because it makes dopamine and i could really use that. if we're talking art, i think all the art i've got is posted online. if we're talking texts... well. most? some i have but again, few people are interested in them compared to art, so i post them more rarely.

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

oh yeah! when i write, i have a huge playlist of postrock:

when i draw - whell, it depends, i have Witcher 3 OST, Hades OST, Final Fantasy 9 OST, and i have a few playlists which actually have words! ^^ which is so nice T^T i can't write when i have songs with words in the background...

i love turning this one on when i draw dd:

one for them is inspiration for RRR. it's quite old one, it was made a few years ago.

now the unpleasant stuff: i'm ashamed to admit but it has songs from a folk group called Melnista. which is ruzzian. they were somewhat against the war... but not too vocally. maybe afraid. dunno. them being against it is the sole reason i've not deleted the playlist alltogether. i haven't edited the playlist since i have to be honest that those were the inspirations, but... i'm very torn on this one and whether or not i should edit it and remove all of those. so... yeah

and one which is a bit of a spoiler if you look at the specifics of the name:

14. Any favorite motifs

oh dear... probably soulmates. finding someone you feel welcome with, even if it's through shit, dirt and blood - either your own, or someone else's. importance of physical touches. found family of horrible people for horrible people who manage to work through their shit and become better while still perceiving themselves as horrible people. lights. undying loyalty, often betrayed because and by another undying loyalty.

24. Do your references include stock images

i hafe a few galleries for stock images, but i also can ask people around me to help with taking a quick photo if i'm desperate, to have at least some approximation.

this thing can help someone but it sucks to set it up and i often forget i have it ^^'

also https://www.tumblr.com/bodytachi is amazing to have a reference for a pose

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

i'd put "Kiss your perfect day goodnight"

it's the first time i managed to draw them together. and i'm incredibly proud of how this one turned out... not to mention that rey had been a bitch to draw ever since

[munsontm]

hi i would like you to please talk about eddie's "sound." like obviously he likes metal, but what does his own music sound like? what does his singing voice sound like? i mean this both when he's playing with the coffin guys, but also in terms of his own personal sound. what's the process look like from writing a song to releasing it? how does he structure albums? how does his music change as he grows & "makes it" ? tell me about eddie's work & the musical process!

ahh, i had to split this up into sections, babe. otherwise, i wouldn’t be able to answer it fjjdsjsj. and some of these answers might be more brief than others because i am not really a songwriter or musician of any kind. 

1. what does his own music sound like?

To give context, first of all. I think Eddie in particular resonated hard with Black Sabbath even when he was a kid. They were a working class band that contrasted with the propogated life view of free love, prosperity, and the american dream. (yes, i know they’re from england, aite.) Their usage of satanic imagery and horror-filled lyrics hit hard with Eddie who lived in a poor and abusive household. Eddie saw people around him, kids and adults, living in Hawkins who had a much better life than he did. and why? because he’d been born into a shitty family. it left him angry for a long time, and he lashed out through it in his lyrics and eventually with his guitar too.

so sounds wise---it’s easily relatable to black sabbath. cc is comprised of two guitar players, a bassist, a drummer and a singer. it’s easy to imagine they laying down a very hard and dark tone when they play. the kind of music that makes the floor vibrate and your guts shake. that gives it a bit of a horror edge, maybe puts a lil anxiety in your bones. that's not to say that cc don't play fast music, they do, and that'll have listener ls equally enthralled and uneasy. Like running from a serial killer. 🤷 But it's not extremely prominent in their music either. eddie didn’t come to play when he took up guitar lmao. He wants his music to have impact on all fronts on his listeners, emotionally and physically. i think once they have the dough for bigger stage shows. some real horror theatrics will come into play.

and eddie’s music often has a tone of cynicism to it about various subjects whether it’s society, politics, mental health or his personal life, morals and philosophies. eddie doesn’t make ‘sexy’ metal. like, you won’t catch him making songs about fucking in a car or how great his dick is. there’s no comedy and little sexuality in corroded coffin’s performances or music. you MIGHT find the odd love song, but those are very few too. and this is what sets the tone for their fanbase in that they aren’t a typical sounding metal band. their music always has a hard hitting message.

2. what does his singing voice sound like?

eddie doesn’t have a very deep voice---but he can drag it down, make it deeper and raspier if needs be. and playing his guitar in deeper sounding notes helps with that a lot. but generally, he has a very smooth and alluring voice. i guess he actually is kind of a vampire in that respect lmao. he can draw in an audience with his voice alone. i’d compare his voice to that of Paul Stanley from KISS.

3. what's the process look like from writing a song to releasing it?

Mmm, Eddie tends to write a bunch of drafts and then ignores them for a while before going back and looking them over again to see if he now hates them, or what maybe needs editing. And sometimes there are a few gems that don’t need lyrics changing. And what he writes always depends on how he’s feeling at the time and what’s going on around him and in the world. 

The lyrics always comes before the music! because he’s the main lyricist, that has to come first, and he’ll write the music with the guys collaboratively for the most part. Musicians usually write the music first, but Eddie prefers to build the music around the lyrics, rather than the other way around. Sometimes he’ll do it the standard way, but standard is not usually his thing. He very much enjoys watching CC lay down something haunting or heavy to his lyrics because they very much get him and the messages right off the bat. The structure of the music also comes into play here too, and lyrics might get moved around, lyrics might subtly change. but the song concept will remain the same throughout. 

it’s also not uncommon for eddie to record himself singing the lyrics solo to hear them before anyone else. because he wants to present how he sounds as the singer perfectly, and this part of the process allows him to be critical of his sound and voice, and change things if he wants, like a word or how he sings during certain parts. if he really doesn’t like it---people will unlikely get to hear it ever.

4. how does he structure albums?

CC is very much about concept albums i.e. albums that tell a story from start to finish. this is actually something that is in steep decline during the 80s...but i’m saying CC end up bringing it back at the end of the 80s, and no one cal tell me otherwise thx.

what are those concepts, you ask? well, the debut album is literally the retelling of jane’s story. it’s a fantasy metal album steeped in a reoccuring haunting melody throughout created by eddie and jeff with some screaming guitar duos, followed up by gareth’s slow and unsettling drumming and mitch’s bass that is more subtle, but always a threatening earthquake waiting to jump out and get the listener when they least expect it. it’s a horror album too, ngl.

but it’s not just about jane, it’s about eddie too. the concept is essentially about survivors of child abuse and overcoming that past, and whether you can ever overcome that. it’s up to the listener to determine for themselves whether someone can or can’t. it’s meant to leave a question in the listeners mind and get them thinking.

That’s how I personally see CC’s music. It’s not all metal fantasy, but there is a lot of concept going about. and again, it’s not always concept either. that is just eddie’s preference. he wants to tell lots of epic stories just like lotr and through music instead of literature.

5. how does his music change as he grows & "makes it" ?

that’s a tough question. because in the end, soooo many artists sell out and become a generic sound. ALL my favourite bands from my teen years did exactly that, and i can’t stand any of them now because they lost their artistic integrity for whatever reason.

Eddie doesn’t want to be that.

I definitely think he gets on board with grunge music in the 90s as a lot of the themes work well with his lyrics, and CC already has that daunting and angsty sound to them. So, I think that’s a sure thing for Eddie in the 90s. Plus, grunge music allowed men in music to express themselves more emotionally in their music, and essentially rebel against conventional forms of masculinity. what wouldn’t eddie love about that?

I cannot see Eddie caring much for the sounds of Nu Metal. Hip-hop and metal? Nuh uh, not for him. He supports the messages that the artists are trying to express in a world that is becoming more---shitty lmao, but the sound is not for him. And some of it...might even be too ouch for Eddie. 

With all that in mind, he won’t ever turn to generic rock. He won’t sacrifice his artistry to become a sell-out. I think nu-metal era is a time that he takes out to do other things, like produce, maybe write fiction and even delve into the art world a bit. But when metal starts to make its comeback as it has been for some years now...Eddie will be there loaded with all the material.

@musecraft  &  @harringtontm

[whimsicaldragonette]

ARC Review: Not Good for Maidens by Tori Bovalino

Preorder

Add to Goodreads

Publication Date: June 14, 2022

Synopsis:

Salem’s Lot meets The Darkest Part of the Forest in this horror-fantasy retelling of Christina Rossetti’s “Goblin Market.” Lou never believed in superstitions or magic--until her teenage aunt Neela is kidnapped to the goblin market. The market is a place Lou has only read about--twisted streets, offerings of sweet fruits and incredible jewels. Everything--from the food and wares, to the goblins themselves--is a haunting temptation for any human who manages to find their way in. Determined to save Neela, Lou learns songs and spells and tricks that will help her navigate this dangerous world and slip past a goblin's defenses--but she only has three days to find Neela before the market disappears and her aunt becomes one of them forever. If she isn't careful, the market might just end up claiming her too.

My Rating: ★★★★★

***My Review below the cut.

My Review:

*edit: I should add that of all the books I read this year this one stuck with me more than I expected and I still find myself thinking about it 7 months (and dozens of books) later. I'm raising the rating to 5 stars based on that alone.

----

I have mixed feelings about this book. On the one hand, I really liked it. The story (parts of it at least) was compelling and some of the characters really drew me in. And I am 100% here for May and Atra's star-crossed sapphic love story. On the other, it was closer to horror than I normally choose to read and was bloodier and more grotesque than I usually like. And some of the characters were like blank walls.

I'm a sucker for goblin market stories, and this was probably the most horror-adjacent one I've read. In that regard, it shaded towards being a bit too much for me. I was barely able to handle the body horror, though I put the book aside several times while reading because I kept thinking it would get to be just that tiny bit more and I wouldn't be able to handle it. It also focused on the grotesque and bloody side of the goblin market, rather than the glittery tempting side you usually see in stories. There again, it was almost (but not quite) too much for me.

I was immediately sucked in to May and Atra's story. They were compelling and intriguing and I would have loved the book more if it had been solely about them. The problem was that their chapters (18 years in the past) alternated with present-day Lou's chapters, and Lou just wasn't compelling as a protagonist. I never got a sense of her personality at all. I know that she's asexual and that she doesn't feel like she belongs anywhere, but when I try to picture her I draw a complete blank. Laura (her mother), too, is a mystery, even though we see her both in present-day and 18 years in the past. But in the present we see her though Lou's eyes, and in the past we see her through May's, and that could be why she doesn't feel complete. Neela isn't on page enough to really get a sense of her.

In the end I stuck around through Lou's chapters just to get back to May and Atra. If the book had been solely May and Atra's story, I probably would have devoured it rather than putting it down over and over.

Also, mind those trigger warnings. There is a LOT of blood, gore, and body horror. Like, a lot.

The narration is really well done and the character voices are consistent and believable. I also really enjoyed the narrator's voice. It made for an excellent listening experience.

*Thanks to NetGalley and Recorded Books for providing an audio arc for review.

[miramizar]

Hello! Your Secret Santa Again ❄️ Many apologies for the long silence I hope you're doing well!

Thank you for the Exo vid recommendations in your last answer! I haven't seen that many of the concert stages yet and both the ones you named were amazing!! that acoustic medley though!! But since you asked, right now my favorite stages are... maybe the 2019 Smtown in Japan Gravity and the KBS awards For Life?

You also picked the sweetest Suho moments, very fun to revisit. <3 Our leader really puts his heart into everything he does. I haven't started his drama yet either although it looked exciting! I have been watching Xiumin's ceo-dol mart, I just have the last couple episodes left. What have you been watching lately?

My favorite bbh moments... are many lol. I love the late night car ride lives he was doing for a while just singing and driving.

Favorite Kyunsoo songs... all of Empathy? I also really like Wonder off the new album.

I don't know that I have a SHINee bias, I feel like it changes every day but I adore them all. For WayV either Ten or Kun (speaking of lovable dorky leaders).

I like SuJu as well (so many good songs!!) I haven't heard any VIXX- what's your song rec? For Pentagon now is probably a rough time to get into them haha but I would recommend looking up Shine and Naughty Boy those are my favorites, or maybe Daisy or Dr. Bebe if you like a more intense concept.

I am not really a true horror fan but I really like the sort of offbeat gothic creepiness (think Addams Family or SHINee Married to the Music energy) and I like having a season to play that up. I don't have any halloween plans, but I decorated! What about you? Do you celebrate Halloween?

Re: your present, I wanted to ask if there was anything specific you might want? I mostly do digital art, but I can also do traditional drawing, moodboards, edits...I already have some ideas, but lmk if there's anything you had in mind!

Talk soon! <3

Hi!! ❣️ Oh it's definitely okay! And please accept my apologies as well - it's been rather hectic lately and I didn't have wi-fi for a bit and I caught a small cold etc. so I took way longer to answer you than I intended to... I hope that this doesn't make you feel too stressed about my gift? I'd love to receive anything really - I did pick fanart on the sign-up sheet, but I like all the options you mentioned so please feel free to do whatever you feel inspired to do! ✨

How have you been since our last talk? Hearing about you decorating during Halloween made me smile (>v<)🧡 I don't celebrate it myself, (I've been getting ready to celebrate Advent instead hahah) but I do like the aesthetic of it somewhat? And I get what you mean about the Shinee/Addams vibe! There's some humour to the creepiness, which is really nice! ✨ Still, I have to admit that I like watching/listening to darker horror movies/tales in every once in a while, especially if the stories are good (>v<;)

Oh, don't mention it! I'm just happy to hear that you liked those stages as well 💗 and you picked some great ones too! I tend to forget to look for SMTown videos and rewatch the music show stages for some reason, but now I have the perfect opportunity to do so 💫

Aahfbdf your kind words has me smiling really wide over here (>///<)💖 He really does, and I love and admire him so much for it 💕 I'd love to talk to you about Myeon's drama when we get to watch it! And I'd also love to hear what you thought about Xiu's drama - I've seen some gifsets from it and it looks fun! ✨ Sadly I haven't been able to watch anything lately, but I really want to get back into it! (>^<) I've been playing some Ni no Kuni though, maybe that counts ahah

That's a lovely answer! I also love his spontaneous lives where he's just being himself, it's so genuine somehow 💖 You also picked some great songs of Soo's, I can't help but agree with you on loving the entire "Empathy" album! 💚 I have to ask you a hard question now - what is your favourite Baek album? And favourite songs sung by him?

I understand that! They're a bunch of lovable dorks, who's not to adore? (the same goes for pretty much all the groups hahah)💕 I think it's the same with me regarding WayV though, I also gravitate towards Ten and Kun whenever I stop to think about my bias (>w<;)

ooh you're also an elf? I have to ask about the songs you think are good then ahdfbf 🎵Thank you for the Pentagon recommendations! I actually heard Shine and Dr Bebe before, I just forgot? I do like both though! And Naughty boy is so cute, while Daisy really is more intense - but definitely my style! 💗 For Vixx, I got into them thanks to Fantasy, and I still think of it as a favourite along with Shangri-La and Hyde - I like their dark concept, but at the same time some of their gentler songs are the sweetest I've ever heard, like Love letter and The rain! 💌

Thank you for answering all my questions so far, and I'm sorry again for taking so long to reply - I really enjoy reading your messages and I look forward to talking to you again soon ❣️ Take care!!

[teo-s-ghostly-corner]

Tag someone you want to get to know better!

Tagged by @sasasue

Favorite color: yellow, purple and green. I know it's more than one but I'm an indecisive creature, leave me alone 😂

Last song: Jonathan Bree – Politics

Last movie: Lord of The Rings: Return of the King, because I did yet another LOTR marathon (extended edition, hehe). Every once in a while the need for this trilogy arises in my heart and I HAVE to re-watch it for like the 54764th time. 🥲 No movie has ever managed to make home in my soul the way these 3 movies have… not even my top favourites. LOTR is in a league of its own and I can't even put into words how it makes me feel every single time. Okay I'm gonna stop now – you can tell I'm writing this immediately after finishing the movie, 'cause I'm still an overly emotional babbling mess 😂

Currently watching: Outlander – I'm in the middle of season 2. It's gonna be a long ride given it's a longer show and I don't always have time/energy for binge watching, but I love it so far! Also Disenchantment, I'm watching the new season (which happens to be the final one 🥲)

Other stuff I watched this year: Uhh let's see… I'll name a few from the top of my head: The Last of Us, Oppenheimer, Barbie, Guardians of The Galaxy 3, Queen Charlotte, Seven Kings Must Die, The Nun 2 (this one was kinda meh for me, but I'm a fan of the Conjuring universe, soo I had to watch it), Evil Dead Rise… what else… oh I've also indulged in some old Alain Delon movies lately (I particularly enjoyed L'Eclisse, Les Felins and The Yellow Rolls-Royce). These are some I could think of on the spot

Shows I dropped this year/didn't finish: Hmm, I haven't dropped any show as far as I remember. I usually like to watch things 'til the end, so I rarely stop watching something entirely, I only stop temporarily when I don't have time or I want to watch/do something else in between, but I eventually pick them up again

Currently reading: The Gods of Tango by Carolina de Robertis

Currently listening to: Nothing right now, but I'll pick up my playlist later today, during my 30 minute home sportsy session (😂), when I'll shuffle between cutesy pop and hard rock because I am like that 😂

Currently working on: Brainstorming more autumn-y scenes involving my original characters, which I hope I'll be able to draw in the near future 🍂

Current obsession: Hmm… well, my OCs are always an obsession of mine, so I'll pick those. 😂 

[dzpenumbra]

4/29/23

Late night, got caught up watching RP again. It's not the end of the world, I had planned to do something nice for myself today because of how difficult things have been the past week, so having a nice chill day was a good break.

I finished the desire path project. I think. Big projects never feel done-done, you know? It feels like music, there's always more you can add. That's something one of my mentors, my sculpture teacher in college, taught me that really stuck with me and helped me a ton with my creative process. "Art is never 'finished', only stopped." You can always do more, you can always edit, you can always refine, you can always release a 2.0. So... things can often never feel "done", because... "done" doesn't really exist. But the flip side of that is... you can always come back and work on it more! You lose accomplishment feeling of finality, but you also lose the "I can do better" of finality.

So yeah, I finalized the editing... actually most of it I did after my journal last night. Until really late. Impulse decision, but it got done quick. Today, I put together an outro graphic with my Instagram and my Patreon and exported. And it looks good. I think. That's the thing with video editing - in addition to animation, good lord - you stare at the same footage day-in and day-out, over and over, and you just get saturated in it. Music is the best example of this because of the short form. If you're working on a really complex piece and you are listening to the same song over and over and over for days and days, you just start to see every single blemish in it. Especially if you made it yourself. And sometimes, you start to think it's lame, or it just flat out annoys you. It happens. There are lines in the voiceover that I feel sound... forced. There are pauses that are unnecessary. There's some phrasing that I would reword, like saying... hiking "truly" has had a big role in my life or something. Like... I rarely say "truly" conversationally. Shit like that. To me, after listening to it over and over and over, it's grating. But I have to remind myself, someone viewing this for the first time will not pick up on that. And even if they do, they won't have the same reaction.

So yeah, that piece is done. And honestly, that was basically my day. I decided to just chill today. I've been doing a lot of work. A lot of drawing, music, busting ass on this project. So, I did a little Risk of Rain, but mostly just watched Twitch and hung out.

Still struggling with sleep. Idk what the deal with the earplugs is, I'm trying to give them a few days for me to get used to them, and I'm falling asleep okay which is great, but I keep waking up every few hours... and I don't know what's doing it. It just kills the restfulness of the sleep I'm getting, I feel. Idk.

So yeah, no big profound deep-dive on the meaning of life tonight. Just triple-checking the project to make sure it's where I like it, then planning to upload to YouTube and figure out some kind of promo something for Instagram to go with it. Hard to really do that when, you know, you can't link shit on Instagram... so... I have no clue how to get people from Insta to actually watch my YouTube video... And if I post it on Insta... then why would people go over to YouTube to watch it again? Does that even matter? Do people even watch 12 minute videos on Instagram? Do they have the attention span for it? I don't know shit about this. Ugh.

You know what, I've had this idea bouncing around in my head the past few days. I should set up shop over here. With my art shit. I can cross-link YT videos here. I can embed Instagram posts here, I'm sure. I'm comfortable here, it feels like there's a lot of art here. I've been floating the idea for a while, I just... this journal is a bit of an... experiment. Aka a project. And part of its purpose is to stay disconnected and under its own alias. So... I'm still figuring that part out, I guess.

So yeah, we'll see what tomorrow brings, I'll try to crack that nut when I wake up.

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

I’m Valid As Ficto-Aroaceflux & Nonbinary-Woman/Girl Flag (2023)

--------------------

[Note: Don’t Reblog Without Permission.] 

I decided to post one more drawing up, but this will be the last one until a few days later or like if I decide to have it be a bit more days, then maybe until next month...?

I had to make the drawing I did that is suppose to be the same flag as this one, much smaller so I could use it as a Avatar on tumblr, plus there was editing I had to do so it would show the full image and not just half of the heart part as well as the spade part.

while the “Heart” can have to do with attraction or very little attraction or no attraction, the diamond is suppose to house one’s gender identity, like it either being Binary, Nonbinary, Transgender and you can add to it probably by splitting the image of the diamond.

like if someone is both Nonbinary & Transgender, they can maybe put one half on the top of the diamond with the Nonbinary Flag & the bottom half for the Transgender Flag, or instead of one being on the top and one being at the bottom, one will be on the left and the other will be on the right side of the diamond.

and even if I am really not sure if I am Intersex or not, and it would be nice if they had a home blood type test tell you if you are or not, and I can’t tell my family of my suspecting I might be because what I remembered from when I was little (and it also has to do with what I had read about the different type of Intersex and it is one that I read that I suspect I might be that type but I’m still not sure.....) , which I’m not gonna say, I mean if they can have a home blood test to show you what blood type you are, which again I am still procrastinating in checking to see if my blood type will come out “O RH D Negative” for a third time...

we will try to get around to it when we can and when we are able to....just wish we didn’t keep putting it off, and I know we will have to use my left hand for it, because it will get more out of it, and I will possibly have to have my eyes closed because half the other tries we had when trying to do that home blood type test, I would end up feeling not so great and would have to go sit down.

I mean I thought it might be because I needed food, plus it might not really be that I’m scared of blood, I mean I might of thought it might be that, but maybe it isn’t that reason I keep feeling not so great when my fingers get pricked.

anyway if someone is Intersex, they can place the Intersex Flag in the Diamond part of the Multi-Flag that is suppose to show the different parts of them that is valid, no matter if it’s gender identity or sexuality or asexuality or aromantic or romantic...

also I can be both Aroflux & Fictoromantic, I just don’t find real humans very attractive in a romantic level anymore, sure there is still a little bit of still being attracted, but with the whole different reasons NOT to be attracted to some humans in this world.....like how disgusting some of them can be with they take their Acephobia too far, and end up trying to “fix” someone who is Ace....

and let’s not forget that even though there are still good people in LGBT that accept people who are Ace, there are some who don’t and their unfair view on Aces and possibly Aceflux is not good....

“so you say, it’s not okay to be Ace.”

“well your point of view is medieval.”

and yeah I know the “Ace” part isn’t in that song, and yeah I’m listening to Lily Allen’s song “F*** You” right now.

but yeah if it’s some people who are Straight who seems to have a problem with Aces, it’s some jerks who are suppose to be supportive and are part of LGBT, but seem to have a problem if someone isn’t s*xually attracted to someone, even if they still might be like either Biromantic,Lesbian, Vincian, Queer or  Heteroromantic....at least there is LGBTQIA, and maybe the “A” could be a Multi-A, but making sure no one EVER excludes Aromantic or Ace from the Multi-A part.

I wonder if some Earth Angels would disapprove of me liking that song...?

well I am a Defective Earth Angel who is I guess technically a hybrid soul, and if it is true about my soul-parents who the fragments that came together to make well me is true, that would mean that one was a Angel of Earth and the Other Angel of Heaven, which I guess would explain the whole violet ethereal wings, even though I can’t see them, and I know from asking by using pendulum, and yeah I am making sure not to over do it and use it too much, even though I know half of some of the replies will be half-truths and some pranks, but some percent being fully truthful.

and then there is the whole Soul-Grandparents, that my Earth Angel’s Soul had fragmented from.....

well even though I know not everyone will believe that kind of stuff, and I still think it is possible my pendulum might be giving me a prank answer that has to do with Phenex from the Ars Goetia being my Soul-Dad....

well unlike them, even though there is a possibility I do go to Heaven, I do have thoughts of wanting to find the edge of the clouds and try to jump off of it.....but then there is the possibility I might freeze up like a deer in the headlights, and I have froze up before when I was really high up before, there were these stairs that didn’t have those sides to them, and I got really scared and couldn’t move......

I mean yeah I can still believe in God and even Jesus (but I still don’t want Jesus to cross a line for some form of twisted sense of justice, because it will just prove to me that it isn’t just some humans who can be bad....)

but I also started to believe in the Goddess now too, which like I had pointed out before, some Toxic-Religious jerk didn’t like and they kept throwing that whole “may the lord have mercy on you.” or “may god have mercy on you.” at me, I know it was one of the those two, and I know now that they have been misusing those words, and yeah I got upset and cried and my feelings were perhaps super hurt, and no matter how much I tried to get that insensitive jerk to stop it, and listen that what they were doing was doing more harm than good, they wouldn’t listen and kept throwing those words at me over at the place where it happen, so because they kept doing it, I had to stop them the only way I could, by blocking them....

I can’t remember the name they went by, but one of things I hope is that I don’t run into them again.....that experience would count as Toxic-Religious Trauma, right...?

what they did, wasn’t okay....and it hurt my feelings, they wouldn’t even try to listen or understand that they were doing more harm than good...

anyway I made sure to put [Heart], [Spade] and [Diamond]

under the respective words...

the Heart is for the Fictosexual/romantic Flag that is merged together,

the Spade is for the new Aroaceflux design, which also appears as the full flag that is the colors Violet/Lavender, Light Turquoise, White, Ice Blue and Blue-Gray....

I did do a post before this one, that shows the new Aroaceflux design....

not sure if many will even like the new design that I came up with, and it’s okay if not many end up using it.

plus this Multi-Flag, does show all the parts of me, and a Multi-Flag can be different for anyone, so you can make one that shows your true self.

so the Diamond part can even have the Flags for different gender identities, even genderflux....it might not make sense, but use a diamond just seems right.

there can be different types of Multi-Flag types, and this just shows one that is a Flag that shows Fictosexual/Fictoromantic, Aroaceflux & Nonbinary-Woman/Girl on it...

and yeah it might not make sense to some who might think someone can’t be both Fictoromantic & Aroflux.....well not every Aromantic will be the same ya know.....I still like reading some stories with some romance in it and I still like playing video games with some romance in it, and I don’t mind getting crushes, but I have no interest in trying to pursue someone in a romantic way in real life....and I know I may have not always been Aroaceflux, but I know that I had my heart broken by some guys before (even if it was online boyfriends, and unrequited feelings to some guys I knew in real life, and kind of was in the friend zone in real life.), and I did perhaps try to get romantically involved again, but it didn’t work out because they couldn’t give me my space and not to forget that when I did try to talk to them, it just seem like they would ignore some of my troubles that I tried to talk to them about, so why even bother with that real life romance....?

I can’t really remember much about that time, only very little....but I know that they wouldn’t let me have me time alone when I needed it, and it seems like they wanted to have me around them like 24/7, I mean at least friends and others can respect when I need to have me time to myself, and that can be important for others as well....

I mean I didn’t get much time to myself half the time when we had some rude house guests over a few years ago, which of course that was perhaps one of the reasons I ended up with that first depression in 2015....

and even when I was trying to work on some stuff that was important to me, like a fan fic and possibly some drawings, they would always come into the room and invade my personal space, and I learned that I really don’t like that....

I also don’t like when someone looks over my shoulder or like even next to me on what I’m doing on the computer, I can’t even keep the door locked in the place we live at now, because apparently that is a big fat “No-No” and my family had to break in just to get the door to my room open, just because I didn’t answer them....I mean, hello, personal space.....

I mean I can still love my family, but I wish they didn’t do that....

I can’t even tell them that I’m Aroaceflux, even though I wanted to get their thoughts and feelings about Asexuality first before I came out as Aceflux, and maybe I could later fully come out as Aroaceflux....

but because of my family I asked about their thoughts on Asexuality,

and they end up thinking that only those who are Gay can be Asexual.....which by the way it isn’t just those who are Gay who can be Ace, there can be some who are Straight that can be Ace as well......

but anyway, I had to put on a act in front of them, to act like the talk wasn’t about me, and then once I got to my room I drop the act and the “mask” and let myself cry in heartbreak....

I can’t tell some stuff to my family, some stuff I can tell them and other stuff I can’t.

and excuse me but “being h*rny shouldn’t be mandatory, so stop shaming me for being Ace...” and if that was on a shirt, the word “Ace” would be replace by the “Spade” which is like the Ace of Spades....

I guess every since that pop into my head, that has been my favorite words to say....and it’s true, because of how some humans want to shame people for being Ace....

at least some Aces and others who have different romantic and sexuality,

didn’t find out that half of the time I felt....well “turned on”, half the time it wasn’t really mine....it was energies I was picking up, which is one of the reasons I have to keep wearing my gem bracelets, to stop me from picking up that type of energies....the other reason I use my gem bracelets are to act as sealing charms and limiters, because I don’t want to end up like Carrie White from the Carrie Movie Series or Alessa Gillespie from the Silent Hill Series from both the Games and Movies.

I like both the Carrie Movie and even the two Silent Hill Movies I have seen, and I am going to still keep a eye out for the third movie of Silent Hill’s trailer.

and well yeah I had to pray to both the Heavenly Father & Earthly Mother, to have my gem bracelets to act as to act as sealing charms and limiters, because of the freaky stuff that started to happen after I had started to use a pendulum, like figuring out I can move the pendulum with my mind and even program it on how to do “Yes” Or “No” or “Maybe”......

but when I started to hold something that wasn’t my pendulum, it would start to move like with my thoughts.....and lucky it is just when I touch something, so yeah I got he idea to have my gem bracelets act as sealing charms and limiters, so it doesn’t grow to the point where something moves if I don’t physically touch it like holding my pendulum........I ain’t taking the risk, plus the program for that only broke once, because one of the bracelets became too snug and I had to keep it off, and I had to re-do the prayer and program for the gem bracelets so whenever I do keep them off for a long period of time, they will still work.

that might seem weird to some, but it is working but I would still need to take them off sometimes, but I always keep them on to protect me when I sleep.

and the only reason I had started wearing a gem bracelet, is because being scared awake by what I think was a Incubus...and also had to put some of those Gem Angel Figure under my pillow to protect me, ya know for extra protection....and of course there is the whole needing to protect myself from humans who’s lustful energy might put my dream self in a trance and make me dream-walk....and yeah I did get a dream-catcher because of that, but because of certain reasons, I had to take it down but hopefully I can put it back up another time or maybe get a new one until we check that one...

but for now, I can try to have one of the gems that I keep under my pillow to act as a substitute.

anyway, not sure if many had that same experience, and to find out your dream self was placed into a trance and had dream-walk into someone else dream, can’t be fun.....at least nothing happen and I became self-aware and I was back in both my dream space and my normal weird random dreaming, but it did make me not want to go to sleep while the one who caused my dream-walking was still sleeping, so I had to keep myself awake and I ended up not doing that after getting the dream-catcher to help protect me.

that might seem weird, but I didn’t want to go to sleep while they are sleeping, because they might end up causing my dream self to go into another trance and cause my dream-self to dream-walk again....

I think part of the reason I was able to become self-aware and understand what was going on in the dream, was thanks to me wearing my gem bracelets.

anyway hopefully sometime I can put a dream-catcher up again...

so yeah, some people are lucky not to experience that....

also once again, this will be the last post for sure this time, until like a few days or so....I will post again in a few days or maybe next month.

but until then I can just enjoy checking out art and other stuff on here.       

[newmusickarl]

5-9’s Album of the Month Podcast – Episode 2 out now!

The February edition of the 5-9 Album of the Month Podcast is now live, in which myself, 5-9 Editor Andrew Belt, Check This Out’s Kiley Larsen and Blinded by The Floodlights’ Matthew McLister review five high profile album releases from February, and ultimately name one as our Album of the Month at the end of the discussion.

This month, the five albums we cover are:

Desire, I Want to Turn Into You by Caroline Polachek

Lonely Hearts Killers by Nile Marr

This Is Why by Paramore

Food For Worms by Shame

Heavy Heavy by Young Fathers

If you want to listen to the new episode simply follow the link below, but also be sure to follow 5-9 Blog on Instagram and Twitter for more news and polls relating to the podcast, along with other great content like film reviews, sports articles and more.

Listen to the February 2023 episode here

Album & EP Recommendations

UGLY by Slowthai

The evolution of Tyron Frampton, aka Slowthai, in such a short space of time, has been nothing short of fascinating to witness.

First came his 2019 Mercury Prize-nominated debut Nothing Great About Britain, which was rough and raw at times but also full of this visceral energy that captivated audiences and helped to make him an immediate grime/punk crossover star. However, his career was almost derailed as soon as it had taken off, as a much-publicised interaction with Katherine Ryan at the 2020 NME Awards, in which he made sexualised comments towards her, brought about some very intense but also well-earned backlash for his actions. After making his public apologies and doing some much needed soul searching, he returned in 2021 with his excellent sophomore outing TYRON – an impressive 35-minute double album that showed greater artistic, as well as personal, maturity.

So here we are then just four years on from his big breakout moment and Slowthai has already had what feels like an entire career’s worth of ups and downs. The result of that is that you feel like the pressure cooker has been removed from around Slowthai’s work, making this third album without a doubt his best and most artistically liberated to date.

Opener Yum straps the listener in to the hot seat straight away, with ‘Thai repeating the words “I’ve been lacking motivation, I need an intervention” over an increasingly menacing and anxiety inducing beat. He then starts to describe conversations with his therapist and his drug-fuelled coping mechanisms, as the swirling electronics, distorted vocals and heavy breathing transport you directly into the melting pot of his erratic, troubled psyche. The production from Dan Carey is absolutely mind-blowing, as it ends with ‘Thai repeating the words “Excuse me while I self-destruct, ‘cause I don’t give a fuck” over sharp, harsh synths. It’s an absolutely phenomenal opener, with the intensity and experimental production drawing shades to Yeezus-era Kanye, Igor-era Tyler and Atrocity Exhibition-era Danny Brown all at the same time.

This almost suffocating production continues on recent single Selfish, which remains one of ‘Thai’s strongest tracks to date. Again, the combination of Carey and ‘Thai is awe-inspiring to hear, with a vortex of synths, drums and guitars surrounding Thai as he sings “And we got what we deserve, somehow we never learn – wastin’ lives out on the curb, while we all search for somethin’” It’s simply brilliant.

The high points just keep coming from there with the fantastic Jamie T-inspired tracks Sooner and single Feel Good, before the rhythmic blues of urban love story Never Again. The middle section of the album then brings the album’s two centrepieces, with HAPPY in particular an absolute tour de force. Riding a melancholic central guitar line, ‘Thai confronts his depression head on and sings of how he “would give everything for a smile.” The production is once again stellar, with the song erupting into a full-blown anthem towards the back end as the guitars take flight. Title track UGLY then follows, which is a glorious symphony of grunge as ‘Thai talks about the hideous nature of humanity and today’s world. Again, it’s just a staggering work.

The grunge continues on Falling, with ‘Thai proper flexing his vocal chops as his angsty, pained screams echo and reverberate amidst a spacey, atmospheric backdrop. After the punky Wotz Funny, beauty and ugliness then exquisitely collide on penultimate track Tourniquet, as ‘Thai’s stark vocals bruise the gentle piano and string-tinged instrumentation as he talks metaphorically of hacking away his broken pieces akin to Aaron Rolston in 127 Hours. Acoustic closer 25% Club then brings the album in for a safe landing, ending this rollercoaster journey with a song that is a polar contrast to the opener.

As you can probably tell I’m a huge fan of this record, with Slowthai really coming into his own thanks to a magical partnership with Dan Carey and a host of other great collaborators behind the scenes who help both amplify and finesse his vision. With inspiration from bands like Nirvana and Radiohead also coming through loud and clear too, this has very quickly become one of my favourite albums of the 2023 so far. A big step forward for Slowthai and an absolute must listen!

Listen here

UK Grim by Sleaford Mods

From grime/punk to post-punk now, as scene veterans Sleaford Mods have returned with their urgent new album, UK Grim. The duo of beat maestro Andrew Fearn and fire-spitting wordsmith Jason Williamson hit new heights on their previous outing Spare Ribs, which mixed first-class collaborations and some lockdown-inspired hot takes for arguably their sharpest and best collection of songs to date. Without reinventing the wheel, the duo build on that winning formula on UK Grim with another effort that ranks well within the top half of their stacked discography.  

The title track and lead single remains both immediate and infectious, with Jason Williamson taking no prisoners as he unleashes his sardonic fury on the current state of Tory Britain on this aggressive, electro-driven opener. DIwhy is then a spiritual sequel to Spare Ribs’ hit Nudge It, but this time around Williamson points his finger and razor-sharp tongue at posers within the post-punk scene itself, with quite frankly hilarious results. Force 10 From Navarone remains my favourite Fearn beat on the whole record, as the duo team up with Dry Cleaning’s Florence Shaw for a song that takes place within Jason Williamson’s own inner monologue. Battling feelings of cherophobia and questioning a passive UK public controlled by a corrupt government, it’s the Mods at their most urgent and brilliant best.

Whilst there may be a couple of moments where it feels like the pair are treading over well-trodden ground at this point, these are more than counteracted by some of the record’s highpoints. On The Ground for example may be their poppiest track ever and easily my favourite here, with a super catchy beat and instant refrain of “they’re on the ground and they’re gonna check you.” By contrast Smash Each Other Up sees Williamson look in complete despair at the current state of the country, as Andrew floats a minimalist and mournful electronic beat in the background. Jane Addiction’s own Peter Farrell then turns up for recent single and the album’s most pure punk moment, So Trendy, which comes over slightly irritating at first, but you’ll soon find yourself singing along.

Despite all these great moments, the duo still manage to save two of the album’s strongest moments for last. Tory Kong swings in on a vine made from a rumbling jungle beat, before closer Rhythms of Class marks one of the duo’s very best songs to date. A well-crafted but brutally bleak look at the reality that Britain now shares many of the same social and political problems of the countries the British public can often vilify, it’s a fittingly poignant end.

Overall this is another strong outing from Nottingham’s finest, with Andrew and Jason building on the groundwork they laid in Spare Ribs for another provocative, frequently incendiary yet occasionally funny and oddly catchy, dismantling of (Not So) Great Britain.

Listen here

Radical Romantics by Fever Ray

Elsewhere, Swedish electro pioneer Karin Dreijer aka Fever Ray released their third solo album and their first batch of new music in six years. Other than featuring the most strikingly bizarre album artwork of the year thus far, Radical Romantics is also quite a blissful and dreamy listen with Dreijer pulling together a frequently fascinating collection of synth-pop induced love songs. At just 10 tracks it doesn’t overstay it’s welcome either, with songs like What They Call Us, Shiver, Kandy and Carbon Dioxide as colourful and enjoyable as any they have made previously.

That said though, you might want to leave before final track Bottom of the Ocean, which sees Dreijer repeating various “oh, oh, oh” sounds for seven minutes over an ominous soundscape. One track that promises to go somewhere but just ends up sinking like the title suggests.

Listen here

Life In Miniature (Extended Edition) by Low Island

One of my Top 10 albums of 2022, the second album from Low Island was nothing short of majestic. As the name Life In Miniature suggests, it was a snapshot of the last two years in which frontman Carlos Posada seemed to encounter all of life’s blessings and curses during one quite intense period. From love and loss to happiness and grief, to sad endings and new beginnings, Low Island gifted listeners a beautiful tapestry of treasured memories that, although personal, impactfully resonate out of the audio through lyrical gut-punches and life-affirming sonic uplifts.

If you missed this gem of an album last year then there really hasn’t been a better time to listen, as now to coincide with the end of their recent UK tour, the band have released a new extended edition featuring three previously unreleased album offcuts. It Holds And It Holds is another soulfully cool slice of electropop, whilst Give Me Something To Love is a stunning bare bones acoustic track. My pick of the three however is Second Skin which captures perfectly what this band do best – danceable grooves with a palpable emotional heart.

Listen here

After Hours (Live At SoFi Stadium) by The Weeknd

There are few albums if any that I’ve played more than After Hours and Dawn FM by The Weeknd over the last couple of years. And for two years I held on to my Weeknd tickets for his London show, hoping I would eventually get to hear the songs live after the lockdowns finally came to an end. Although they did end, the bad news was that Abel’s star status had only grown in that time. This resulted in him cancelling his arena tour and upgrading to stadiums, with tickets going from the fairly reasonable £70 I paid initially to the £300 that Ticketmaster’s obscene surge pricing policy decided that’s what people should pay. As much as I love The Weeknd’s music and am desperate to catch his live show again, that is simply not a price I am willing to pay to see any single artist – maybe next time!

Thankfully to ease the blow somewhat, Abel has released this incredible new live album to accompany the HBO Special filmed at his recent stadium show in Los Angeles. Across the breathtaking (pun intended) 31 song setlist, Abel delivers hit after hit, as his vocal performances and superb live band production frequently get the hairs on your neck standing on end. Whilst it may be further evidence of just what a special popstar The Weeknd is, it’s also a shame that I can’t catch the show in person. The end of Live Nation’s monopoly and Ticketmaster’s ridiculous surge pricing really can’t come soon enough!

Listen here

From Nothing To A Little Bit More by The Lathums

“Before the pandemic The Lathums were on the road to nowhere. Then The Charlatans frontman Tim Burgess heard a recording of early single ‘The Great Escape’ and invited them to play a set at Kendal Calling. The rest, as they say, is history. After a couple of years building a passionate fanbase, they’d play the first non-socially distanced post lockdown gig in Liverpool. Six months after that The Lathums struck gold with the small matter of a UK number one album.

So after being in the whirlwind of prosperity in 2021, the storm has settled. 18 months after their debut they’ve returned with From Nothing To A little Bit More: a less immediate effort but one worthy of the time and effort required to leave an impact.

From Nothing To A Little Bit More is a solid return from The Lathums: darker, rawer and more accomplished, albeit without the same high points of their debut. Alex Moore portrays himself as a sensitive soul and the empathy you feel towards him is the album’s main strength. Especially as, like before, the tunes are heart-warming and infectious - the boys from Wigan discover a darker route mixed with moments of light. This is all done without losing the everyman appeal which drew so many to them in the first place.”

Read Matt McLister’s full review here

Listen here

Also worth checking out: Sunrise Bang Ur Head Against The Wall EP by Nia Archives, The Valley of Vision EP by Manchester Orchestra, Brothers & Sisters by Steve Mason, Tear Me to Pieces by Story of the Year

Tracks of the Week

Lean Beef Patty by JPEGMAFIA & Danny Brown

The rumours of a collaboration album between hip hop superstars JPEGMAFIA and Danny Brown has seemingly been around for years now, but it seems like the long-anticipated release is finally nearing its arrival. Whilst still no release date has been announced yet, we do have the first single which is a sub 2-minute hurricane of hard electronic blasts and lyrical wizardry.

Listen here

Sole Obsession by Nation of Language

One of the best new bands to debut during the lockdown years, new wave duo Nation of Language have quickly earned themselves a cult following off the back of their incredible first two records, Introduction Presence and A Way Forward. Now it appears a new era is on the horizon, with their dazzling new single Sole Obsession a prime example of why people simply can’t get enough of this band.

Listen here

Cello Song by Fontaines D.C.

The legacy of renowned singer-songwriter Nick Drake continues to live on, with a new compilation album in the works featuring covers of his most favourite songs from an enticing artist list that includes Bombay Bicycle Club, Let’s Eat Grandma, Radiohead’s Philip Selway, Feist and more. The first cover from the album to be released though is this brilliant take from Fontaines D.C. of Drake’s iconic Cello Song, with that band managing to pay homage whilst also making it their own.

Listen here

Everytime by Cub Sport

And finally this week, one of my favourite films of all time (for reasons I can’t completely pinpoint myself) is Harmony Korine’s surreal, arthouse summer flick, Spring Breakers.

From the vibrancy of the cinematography to the intoxicating Cliff Martinez soundtrack, to just the sheer hallucinogenic hedonism of it all, I just love everything about it. One thing in particular it does so well is the contradictory marriage between beauty and the beast that lies at the heart of the film, which is captured in no better instance than one certain iconic scene. In this magical moment, James Franco’s Alien plays Britney Spears’ Everytime on the piano, whilst the four girls waltz around him wearing Neon Ski Masks and carrying their shotguns, as montage footage of their dangerous escapades are intertwined. Surreal, completely nuts, but also oddly beautiful.

Now I’m not sure if that scene entered the brains of Aussie synth-pop outfit Cub Sport when they decided to cover this Britney classic, but the vocoder vocals and dazed electronica of this dreamy version of the song took me right back to that cinematic masterpiece. Check out the cover, then check out the film if you’ve never seen it - but don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Listen here

Also worth checking out: Messed Up by Holy Holy featuring Kwame, Line In The Sand by Hot Chip, Brian Eno & Goddess, CooCool by Roisin Murphy, Bloodshot by Enter Shikari, Ache by The Xcerts featuring Sam Carter

REMINDER: If you use Apple Music, you can also keep up-to-date with all my favourite 2023 tracks through my Best of 2023 playlist. Constantly updated throughout the year with songs I enjoy, it is then finalised into a Top 100 Songs of the Year in December.

Add the playlist to your library here

[coupsnim]

Hi Izzie, it's me your secret carat again! sorry it took so long to send another ask Hope you've had a lovely week and will have a great weekend :)

I'm still a baby carat so it's always nice to meet more veteran fans! I personally knew about them since their debut because my friends really liked them and casually listened to them for years. Didn't properly get into them until pretty recently tho but I'm glad I'm finally here! Better late then never, right? 😂

I won't name any specific members cuz that will more than likely give away my identity lol But the member who originally caught my attention are now pretty low on my bias list and my biases were ones I never expected to bias one of them exactly my type tho i just like to be in denial sdklfjgdfsg

As for fave titles tracks, I think we have the exact same ones! For bsides I absolutely love Shadow, Anyone, Flower, ODIHTD, and I Don't Know. And so many more tbh, their discography is truly amazing <333

Some new questions: How did you get into making content? Do you prefer making gifs, grfx, or art more? What are some of your favourite Seventeen concepts and what's one you would love for them to try?

hiii 🧡

noo please don't be sorry! I appreciate you took the time to write to me 😊

my week was okay but I was out all weekend and didn't have time to reply, sorry about that! hope you had a great weekend as well

I love all the songs you mentioned as well! totally biased opinion, but I think seventeen has one of the best discographies in kpop. there are maybe one or two songs that I usually skip but other than that I love all of them ahah

I think I first started making gifs around 2011-2012? I joined tumblr because of doctor who and saw a tutorial on how to make gifs - I tried it out and it was quite fun, so when I rejoined tumblr around 2017 and created a kpop blog I started making gifs again first for groups like shinee and wonder girls and then for seventeen too. however, I only started creating gfxs after I made this blog, I saw so many great creations of other carats and was inspired to make my own 😊 my dad is a graphic designer and he taught me how to use photoshop a long time ago but I mostly used it for photo editing ahah

I love making gfx, way more than making gifs, but it's been a while since I posted something here because I feel that nothing looks good ahah I have lost my touch, I believe. I do have the urge to delete everything I made each time I go on my gfx tag ahah

I love drawing too, but it's also quite dangerous for me because once I start a new project I can't stop until I'm done ahah and since I I can't take time off of work to draw, I usually only do it when I'm on holiday

my favourite seventeen concept? fallin' flower and home;run, probably. everything about fallin' flower is perfect, the song, the choreo and the whole vibe of the mv, but I also liked the theme for the home;run mv, it was fun and so seventeen (if that makes sense?). I'm just sad that they didn't reflect it in the album design too 😔

honestly they already fulfilled my every wish with fallin' flower when it comes to concepts, so it's hard for me to answer this question. however, I really liked the concept for their photobook 'social club' so maybe something similar would be cool? or maybe something inspired by a noir movie?

what about you? 😊

this reply turned out so long, I'm so sorry ahah hope you have a great day!