#also I’m awful at answering asks sorry yall

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

17. talk about your writing and editing process <3

Man apparently I’m allergic to checking my inbox but HEY better late than never my love!

So my process, if you can even call it that, is chaotic as FUCK!!! I stare off into space writing it mentally first, type all my bullshit in my notes app like a heathen, don’t proofread, drop unsolicited personal lore in the notes, all that. Gonna use TWITR as an example again btw

I’ve said it before, but The Webs In The Rafters is based on a WHACK ASS DREAM I HAD. specifically chapter 17 and the climax of the story. Like I was the Kenny character, Sansa the dog was telepathically speaking in my mind, there were piles of cuddling cats everywhere, the sound of helicopter blades and a trail of spiders in the hay. I woke up like bro what the hell this is a story right here and I went from there. And in fleshing out the plot, pinning the story beats, the time I was writing it was PERFECT TIMING. Because I had a six hour drive to make for a friend’s wedding. And what did my insane ass do? I FUCKING RAWDAWGED that drive. No music, no audiobook, just silent highways and plotting TWITR. By the time I got home I had a very clear idea of where I was going with the story that at that point was only a few set up chapters and a title.

Speaking of titles, a lot of the time I have titles before I have plot, which is kinda weird bc I know a lot of people struggle with titles, but that’s one of the first things that comes to me. Especially with my one shots, like my kysterion fic All The Punches That I’ve Thrown. That lyric popped into my head and a fic idea with it. Song lyrics inspire a LOT of ideas for me.

So does art. Like with In The Truly Gruesome, I saw a drawing emilyartstudios did of Stan and Shelley working a booth for Tegrity at a fair and I was like YO WHAT IF I FUCKED THIS UP AND STUCK ZOMBIE ALIENS IN THERE lmfao. And ofc, the OrangeJuiceVerse wouldn’t exist if I hadn’t seen foxydodo’s art of basketball player Kyle and mascot Stan.

While oneshots come together pretty fast for me usually, being written out in my head to be typed out in the course of a day (back in the days of janitor Riley bored as shit at work and having the time and energy for that lol), multichapters are require more thought structurally. So what I like to do with a multichap:

Think of it in three acts. In script writing, there’s something called the “page 12 event”, the event that gets the plot rolling near the beginning of the film. And I like to stick an event like that at the end of chapter 1 of my stuff a lot of the time, like ITTG and uhhhh yeeting Stan into a mineshaft after we find out the boys are being chased by monsters (jesus what is wrong with me). What I’m getting at: I like to know where my beginning middle and end are, how the characters are feeling at each step, how their relationships change, all that. And a lot of the time I think of the end before I do the middle or beginning tbh. Like I said, chaos. I think of a random scenario (as we know usually someone is hurt and getting taken care of bc I’m fucking evil and that’s where my brain goes constantly), hence the WhumpShots.

And I do primarily operate in WhumpShots. I picture a scene with a character getting their injuries tended, sick and dizzy but having a friend or loved one at their side, etc, and BAM that scene becomes a oneshot. Even the REALLY short ones, like the sot bunny I did last summer called So Only Say My Name, was about 700 words and one sequence of events. That kind of to the point structure comes easy to me, which is why I loved doing Style Week so much; new oneshot prompt every day. And while I don’t usually proofread after I finish a work, I edit as I go, sometimes post random lines on here or send a screenshot to the R.A.N.T. homies (I’ve definitely done this more as of late, a habit from when I attempted writing smut for the first time and would send neen a screenshot all “IS THIS CRINGE?!?” lmfao I love the Idea Trampoline tho). And I can’t spell so autocorrect is fr my saving grace unless it betrays me. Off the top of my head I can think of 3 words in 3 separate fics that I need to fix but am simply not going to bc that requires effort and oh fuckin well.

And I say that, but I may be lax about the more fiddly stuff but I care SO much about the big picture. Like “does this convey the feelings I want it to? Is this going to be a bright spot in someone’s day? Is the vibe I want there?” That’s my priority. If I can leave an impact on a reader, entertain them, make them smile, that’s what matters to me.

Jesus sorry this was a convoluted answer lmao it’s 3 in the morning and I woke up all “hey I should actually check my inbox” and here we are

Thank u for asking abt my chaos melda tâe

[remiratboi]

Ah I’ve received so much love for my lil yandere orc fluff 💜 yall are truly wonderful! Ok so this is where I think it’s headed, spicy, but not too dark, like it’s yandere, it’s gonna be a lil dark lol, but it’s dubcon turned to full consent by the end. Lots of praise and body worship. Also, it’s definitely tropey, but I don’t care. It’s fluff for a reason. It’s gonna be long probably. Sorry about that. Slow build, lots of pining.

You and Ollie spent the day at the beach. You realized later that you never actually asked him to join you, but you weren’t displeased that he did. Even after only two weeks, you were pretty used to having him around you again. It was just like when you were kids.

Well, almost. You couldn’t help but notice some of his gazing wasn’t quite as… wholesome as it had been when you were kids. But it didn’t bother you. He wasn’t lewd about it at all, and if you were being honest with yourself, you kind of enjoyed it. Also, you had to admit, you had done some gazing yourself.

He was huge. He was muscled. He was gorgeous, and didn’t seem to be aware of it. He was exquisitely shy around everyone but you. And on top of all that, he seemed to notice only you.

You had watched countless others throw themselves at him, just to be rejected one way or another. More often than not, it seemed he just genuinely didn’t realize he was being hit on. Sometimes he’d be forced into straight up turning someone down, but mostly he’d just give them a puzzled look, and walk away.

Today was no different. You were reaching for the sunscreen when a volleyball sprayed sand all over you. You yelped and sand filled your mouth. A very pretty woman jogged over.

“O-M-G! I am so sorry about that!” She said in one of the fakest voices you’d ever heard. She said it to Ollie, not you, even though he hadn’t been hit with the spray at all. Normally you would have said something sassy, but you were too busy spitting sand from your mouth.

Ollie didn’t respond to her, but he leaned over to grab the volleyball from where it had landed between you.

“I’m Selina!” She said, all bubbly. “I’ve seen you around, you should play with us some time!”

Ollie looked up at her, volleyball still in his hands. He glanced at you. He turned back to her and thrust the ball towards her. He held it tightly in one single hand. You couldn’t help but notice how large his hand was.

“You should be more careful.” He replied, emotionless.

She took the ball and giggled anxiously. “Oh, yeah of course, we totally will.” She smiled awkwardly at you. “So, do you want to come play now?” She shot her shot.

“No.” Ollie replied.

“Aw, come on. We don’t bite.” She joked and wiggled her finger at him.

Ollie glared at her now. His face no longer impassive but furious. It surprised you. He didn’t normally express much emotion visibly.

“First you spray sand all over my partner,” he started.

Partner?!

“Then you apologize to me, not even the one you sprayed.” He continued, his tone developing an edge. The girl raised the hand not holding the ball in front of her and took a hesitant step back.

“THEN you hit on me in front of them, and don’t take no for an answer?” He shook his head at her, his soft black curls bouncing with the movement. “I am so, painfully, not interested.” He finished.

The woman blushed deeper red at each of his words, before spinning on her heel and practically running away.

“That was kind of rude.” You said quietly. You could feel his annoyance rolling off of him.

“Did I say anything untrue?” He asked you. His words were demanding, but his tone was soft. He was always soft with you.

“Well, not really.” You answered speculatively. “Mostly. Partner?” You asked and turned to look at him.

“Ah, yeah, sorry. I guess that wasn’t true.” He replied. He glanced up at you from the side, but didn’t turn to face you.

“Why did you say it then?” Your voice sounded small, but you felt bold for vocalizing the question pounding in your head.

He turned to look at you for a moment. A fire blazed in his eyes. He didn’t say anything for a long time. He just stared into your eyes. You found you couldn’t look away.

Finally, “Sorry, I guess I wanted more reason to defend you. I felt… more angry than made sense.” He turned to look back down in front of him. You mulled his words for a moment. That made sense. What you still wondered about was the feelings that made him ‘more angry than made sense’.

You reached out and lay a hand on his shoulder. He tensed for a moment, but then quickly relaxed into your touch. “Thank you for defending me.” You said quietly. A smile played at his lips. He glanced back at you for just a second.

“Oh, also I think that was the most words I’ve ever heard you say all in a row about the same topic.” You teased him.

Your hand still lay on his shoulder. A part of you recognized the moment was over, and it made sense to remove your hand. But you didn’t. His skin was warm and you could feel his muscles tense and move with him.

You were surprised by a sudden, intense desire to touch him everywhere.

Hope you enjoyed it! Let me know if you want to see anything specific from it! Also I can do lil one shot stories of the characters if something doesn’t really fit my main plan. Thank you again for reading! 💜

[monstrouslyobsessed]

super late but im finally answering some asks~

tw / tags: heavy heavy beastfolk lore/worldbuilding talk, momster talks too fucking much, sex work, long post, beastfolk / beastfolks characters mentioned: cerelos, brief mention of revius, red, implied mentions of papa bull and duke

When are you going to post? (I apologize if this sounds rude,I'm really curious but that isn't an excuse🙁) —anonymous

ahhh, nah you're good. sorry, writer's block was notoriously bad the past few months, with me not being happy with anything i produced :\ i always thought of yall and this blog of mine though! i wanted to give you my best, than my worst if i could. yall are too sweet for me to halfass anything tbh.

just rest assured that i am still around, just slow as a snail 😭

(also, life. stressing about adulthood as usual.)

Does Cerelos shed his horns? Like bucks and moose do?🫎🦌 —anonymous

hmmm, yes in his youth. but when he got older and became more experienced with his magic, he probably made his crowned horns permanent. i don't believe he really enjoyed the awful burning, itching sensations that came with shedding (and yuck, imagine how bloody the velvet would be on anyone's head!) and he'd consider himself to look very undignified without his majestic antlers before his people. he's arrogant and strict about keeping his appearance on point in front of everyone that isn't his darling.

shedding also applies to those with just one horn as well (revius), not strictly just those with antlers.

tbf the equestrians would consider the first shedding the rite of passage and would encourage more sheds as they gets older, to better develop their growth and magic in general, before they'd seek ways to permanently stop the shedding. i kinda imagine that constantly growing new horns would take a lot of calcium, proteins, and other nutrients that it's not advised to keep shedding when they are no longer young adults as well.

hope this answered!

rest is under the cut due to the length and implied adult subjects.

IK this is kinda whack for me to say…but I was watching Spirited Away by Ghibili and there was a few brief scenes where they show how busy the bathhouse is. And I’m in were the cute giant duckies 🐥 and I wanted to clean brush and cuddle em so bad that it strangely reminded me of your beastverse 🙈 So like does that exist where humans are allowed to work in bath houses and wash up beadtfolk? 🧼🧽🧴🫧 And not in even a sexual undertone though I assume some businesses do offer additional services just like irl. Idk I just kinda wanna bathe brush and cuddle super fluffy animals if they’d permit me 🙈 This is how I find my future hubby or something if I lived in your world. I’m such a degenerate 🫡 —anonymous

well, while there are brothels, there are also salons where the beastfolks employ humans for their smaller (and less dangerous) hands to better groom the clients. funny that you mentioned that lol because i thought about the salon ages ago but i just never found any room to talk about it in general until now.

but anyway, most of them are, or were in history, just fronts for "special services" in the midst of the then-super conservative towns fresh after the post-zoo breakout eras where both beastfolks and humans were struggling to learn to live among each other unharmed.

the brothels back then that featured both human and beastfolks employees were often made 'illegal'—especially since any sort of intimate relations were looked at negatively. this is the era where the possibility of humans bearing/providing full beastfolk was being "discovered", still, while being scoffed at. by being discovered, i mean both sides would soon realize it's not a talltale passed down by their ancestors and history books. so the 'salons' were the answer to that, offering special services catering to both sides.

that said, there were and are some genuine salons that provided only beauty services. probably commonly run by immigrants wanting to support their families and to help the parent (typically single mothers) in need, regardless of their species. i do imagine it would be pretty common to see very…strong-headed owners defending their employees from very unsavory clients too, since the salons back then would have an unfortunate correlation with those that provided sex services.

in short, the salons were essentially the massage parlors of our reality (the ones that featured 'special services', i mean). however, i considered massage parlors that featured both beastfolks and humans a bit…farfetched due to their strength differences that wouldn't work well for the other side (for example, a lioness would probably break a human's spine, while a human's attempt would be too weak for, say, a gorilla's). not to say that the massage parlors don't exist in the beastfolk au, because they do! but i don't believe having employees from both sides would be a common feature in the massage parlor, and i'm sure it's not uncommon to see them offering their own special services but it'd be limited to their own race/subspecies for the most parts.

so i decided that the salons would fit best and would probably be one of the common precursors to the idea that both humans and beastfolks can live in relative harmony. why? because the employees, and typically just the employees, as some employers are/were often…not good people in these special salons, commonly formed a tightknit bond for various reasons, typically stemming from the time spent together, since teamwork is often a necessary factor to groom a client (especially if the client is of much larger stature).

the salon was a great place to be to get some culture shock, tbh, back then, to see both sides working together to perfect a client's appearance to their satisfaction. as the years pass, i'm sure that the happy ending salon (terms are still pending, but i'm just stealing from the existing ones atm lol) would soon be outnumbered by actual licensed salons that provided no such services beyond beauty-related.

bathhouses are typically self-service in this au, so the attendants often kept discreet with their jobs while still respecting the privacy of their patrons. i imagine most of the beastfolks prefer their privacy (since some can be aggressive, more so when their families are there). if there are drinks and foods being delivered, the attendant would typically drop them off at the entryway and disappear.

meanwhile, the salons would have the employees on site, mingling and chattering with their clients.

in the modern era, the salon typically would hire just about anyone, those without an independent card included, and someone would often take it upon themselves to mentor the beginners. there are regulations that tried to make things harder for the owners, but well, those who experienced struggles and poverty in the past typically do not give a flying shit about the politics. this such culture tends to carry through countless individually-owned salons.

i can go on, really.

tbh, meeting your soulmate in the beauty salon is probably one of the most wholesome (and safe) ways you can get. security is practically in every corner, protective of one other and especially their little humans.

honestly, if you really want to, just ask your beastfolk spouse to take you to a bathhouse. the bathhouse often have a huge family culture and unlike our pitiful reality in the good ol' murica, the bathhouses are pretty much everywhere, though some do take a bit of drive. they never died out the way ours did in our history. some beastfolks are just too big to be comfortable relaxing in the bathtub in the common household bathrooms, so the demands for the bathhouses are still there in the au and would likely always be. and without a doubt, grooming is hugely embraced among the beastfolks, so they'd most definitely love it when their little human groom them (to the best to their ability, at least!).

i talked too much, so uhhh, i'll move on lol but hope this answered!! thanks for giving me the space to talk about the salons too <3

CURIOUS what do u think if a possible yandere wolf fish ORR ORR A LEMON SHARKKK i read somewhere they get possessive of divers they’re familiar wt —anonymous

i think i've wrote something similar ages ago, but the species is some kind of an eel mermaid, obsessed with the diver. here's the link. and i do have my red boi, he was based on sandbar shark! his darling was some rando surfer he kidnapped to his cove though. eel mermaid

red got a section of his own in my main masterlist, here.

idk if im up for another merman oc though lol and i'm still sorting out how things would go with the seafolk of my beastfolk au, when they are considered extremely dangerous even by the beastfolk's standard. but, wolf fish and lemon shark would be neat candidates to think about! though, wolf fish would be something straight out of a horror scifi and be a far more monstrous than the average beastfolk.

Thinking of being used by the bull beast folk at least once a week. It’s always sad when you can’t have something you want… —anonymous

same 😔 alas we can only dream…

omg i talked too much. sorry. 😔 thanks for you patience tho;;

[https-furina]

just my personal rambles about how much i love fontaine utc ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა

i’ve literally been bottling up my sheer adoration for this country since we started getting hints at it and teasers; i share a mild connection with france itself as french is my second language and i spent majority of my childhood between marseille and london so i was so excited for a sense of familiarity in fontaine and i was also incredibly excited for the lowkey steampunk aesthetic they gave fontaine )):

so like first things first; the archon quest??? has left me gasping, shaking, bawling, on my knees choking on tears!!! and like the best part about it is that it’s only just begun <3 my favourite thing is that with past countries, we could get a feel where the archon quest plot was going. in inazuma you recognise that ultimately you’re going against the raiden shogun and you’ll fight her before you can ask her about your sibling and in sumeru it becomes obvious that the government is the problem and you need to free the dendro archon but in fontaine? where are we going with this?

what is the prophecy truly? is it from a curse from celestia? what about furina’s status? is she just another helpless archon drowning her sorrows in trials because if she doesn’t live in that moment she’ll remember the prophecy she undoubtedly believes in, knowing her people’s sins will never be washed clean? what about arlecchino? is there actually a good motive behind her or is there going to be a hidden twist when you least expect it? how the hell are we supposed to help fontaine from submerging? and what about childe’s loss of control for his vision? i’m SO EXCITED because i have so many questions and very little answers! (who knows i might update this with more questions after doing 4.1’s archon quest)

then there’s the soundtrack!! i don’t know about yall but i’ve been going idle in absolutely every place possible just listening to the music and the ambience. i’m absolutely in love with the underwater music, i have my favourite underwater song playing in my teapot and i sit in my teapot in awe every time <3 i’m so excited for future regions’ music and how these new locations may differ from what we have now (not to mention the range of orchestra instruments hoyo included in making fontaine’s ost!)

not to mention all the species! i love the clockwork concepts (especially the dogs pfft) but also just the animals in general??? the OTTERS?! the blubberbeasts and even the seahorses, the dogs that wear silly little outfits and birds that look like they came out of pokemon aaaa <3

the flowers !! pluie lotuses that i pick every time i see them because i would kill just to have a vase full in my kitchen window <33 and the rainbow roses that look more like tulips or the lumidouce bells that are like the lovechild of bluebells and lily of the valley ): i can’t wait to see more as an ex-florist who still clings to her relationship with flowers

melusines <33 need i say more? their quest regarding elynas had me sobbing and screaming honestly, i long for more lore about them - not to mention they are such funky little genderless creatures, i aspire to be them hehe - and more quests regarding them; like i physically need melusine content or i’ll be perishing ):

character outfit designs!! everyone just looks so good i’m sorry but there isn’t a single outfit i’ve even remotely disliked yet. everyone looks amazing, hot, baking some damn goods - like we got geo taylor swift and electro lana del ray, an archon with heterochromia, some elf looking ass man who could be a dragon - or an otter, i like otter more - the wolf looking mf who wardens a prison??? magicians in thigh highs, stockings, garters and boots?! with matching bows?! AND FREMINET’S WHOLE DIVER’S HELMET ORDEAL AND COLOUR PALETTE?? i can’t i’m too in love with everyone (and all their english voice actors are fantastic too!!)

the airships being the most fun thing i have ever seen in my whole life, i routinely go on the airship at the west slopes of mont automnequi because you can see almost all of our past locations there! you can see deshret’s masoleum, the divine tree, the jade chamber and (i think) dragonspine. not to mention you get a good ass look at fontaine and some things in areas we haven’t got yet - also you can see how close celestia is to fontaine… i still remember all the theories about celestia and mondstadt (╥ ω ╥)

being able to dive out of water with fontaine characters & hydro traveler (please please please let us dive with wriothesley and neuvillette, just because they’re the first two tall characters we’ve got i’m so curious if we can)

building a relationship with berrypuff ♡(੭´͈ ᐜ `͈)੭ proceeding to cry when we release berrypuffier and then cry again when you run into them in the wild <3 i’ve also grown attached to the dog in the ship graveyard, i go there daily to feed them chicken and i cook dishes while i’m there hehe

the dishes in fontaine!! i still cackle daily about fonta ૮₍ ´ ꒳ `₎ა oh and salsa! she’s so annoying but at the same time i love that kid hehe

i could go on for too long aaaa.. i love fontaine guys. i thought i was sad seeing sumeru finally go but i think i may cry when it’s time to leave fontaine. i’ve never been so excited for a genshin region and plot since inazuma and inazuma has always been my favourite up until now. i think the only things i’ll be excited for after fontaine is meeting the tsaritsa and khaenri’ah <3

[studbunniez]

Grayson with a House wife kink

+ some breeding kink in there <3

This is something I’ve thought about toughly and personally believe that while it is still a kink for her it’d also be a lifestyle dynamic she’d be in love with.

Her working hard to provide for her and her wife while you’re back home cleaning the house and cooking dinner and taking care of yalls fur babies (Grayson has a white cat named soap and a Doberman named warm water fight me).

When she finally gets home she smells her favorite meal just waiting for her in the kitchen. you greet her with a kiss and a “Welcome home hunny!!” Then you take her jacket and gloves to hang up and put away. Then, you get her settled at the dinner table while you prepare her plate for her.

You give her the plate and ask her “How was your day darling?” and then Grayson would go on to tell you the stories of her day and rant a bit about incompetent workers (*cough* *cough* MARCUS *cough* *cough*) she always makes sure to leave out the more explicit parts of her story for you in case you don’t want to hear, and if you’re like me and wanna hear she’ll tell you if you ask.

She’ll always ask you back how you’re day was as well and you’ll say the usual but with a little twist. “ Oh you know me. I cleaned up around the house walked the dog fed the cat and cooked your favorite, and once I was all done I even had a chance dress up for you :>” that's when the you lift the skirt of your dress to reveal the bottom half of a pretty lingerie set in the sheriff's favorite color. Suddenly dinner was completely neglected in place for dessert~

 !!NSFW WARNING!! breeding kink hc’s and drabbles below I refer to Grayson’s strap as a dick <33

Now you may be asking “do you think Grayson wants kids?” and the answer to that would be no. She feels that she is too busy and too old to be responsible of kids now, BUT getting to breed her wife and tell her how sweet it’d be to see her wifey all pregnant with her babies and and taking care of yalls kids so you’re not only a house wife but a stay at home mom as well? Hot it is so hot and is placed into the love making EVERYTIME.

“Fuck! Graysonn~” you whine feeling Grayson’s dick pounding in and out of you while she switches between leaving hickeys on your neck and whispering praises/growling in your ear. “Come on love, keep telling me about your day. I told you I want all the details.” You try to form a sentence but anytime you got a single word out Grayson would start thrusting her dick inside you harder and faster chuckling with every broken moan you let out of you pretty mouth. “Aw I’m sorry love I missed that what we’re you saying?” she knew how close you were and just wanted you to mess with you a little and wants to hear you desperately try and obey her but failing miserably due to her violent thrusts. “Ah! gr-gray~ cum-cummingg.” “Cum all you like my dear just know I won’t let you go till you nice and full of my fucking babies.” 

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OMFG THIS TOOK SO LONG @sevikasleftpussyflap is responsible for this mess of a fuckin headcannon/drabble anyways please enjoy <333

[venus616]

hold my body tight even on my lowest nights; {p.p.}

Pairing: peter parker x f!reader (gif is tasm but you can interpret this as any peter parker)

Summary: something 'bout the way you hold my body tight even on my lowest nights, locked down by my side even when I'm borderline. yeah, I don't even know why i push you away. (lyrics by charli xcx move me)

translation: even on your worst days, Peter reminds you he's always there for you

Warnings: established relationship, implied mental illness(es) ( depending on interpretation but its not explicitly stated), food mention, hurt/comfort, angst (slightly imo), FLUFF lotsa fluff. 

Word Count: 1.2k

A/N: i think song lyrics are the only way i can give a synopsis at this point lol, wrote this in a day just cause but yk i hope yall like it :) (also wrote this bc i was Very Sad)

She had laid in bed a little longer than she should’ve, knowing that Peter was on his way after she claimed she was ready. It’s not that she didn’t want to go, in fact it was all she was looking forward to after a long week of work and responsibilities, but she couldn’t find it in herself to get up and get ready for him.

She sighed deeply and cowered beneath her sheets as his voice beamed through the apartment, she cursed herself for trusting him enough to give him a key for whenever he felt like being normal enough to enter through the front door. 

“Baby, they didn’t have the fruit dip you like but I got some yogurt, I hope you still like it,” His voice faltered as she heard her door creak open. She knew his face probably dropped seeing the messy arrangement of clothes from last night on the floor when she couldn’t decide on a cute enough outfit that he hasn’t seen before and seeing the shape of her underneath the comforter, usually visible in the bright hues of her room because she loved the sunlight. 

Usually.

Peter knew something was wrong because it was noon and her blinds and curtains were still closed, darkness encapsulating her.

Tears started to escape her eyes and it became harder to breathe underneath the sheets. She knew Peter could hear her which made it all the more scarier. He sat next to her figure and she sighed deeply at the added weight of him next to her. 

He said nothing for a bit, just laid down next to her. 

“Baby?” He asked. 

Her voice trembled. He sighed, rubbing her shoulder through the blanket. 

“I’m sorry.” Her voice croaked out. Embarrassed and ashamed at the state he found her in. She worked so hard to compose herself around him, that she felt it only backfired on her when he saw her at her lowest. 

“Why are you sorry?” He asks but not quizzically. His voice was layered in fear and confusion for what her answer would be. 

“I ruined our date,” She sobbed out, unable to stop once her voice cracked. 

She felt his hand on her cheek through the blanket, silently begging her to lower the sheets so he could see and console her. 

She hesitantly lowered it and met his eyes filled with concern for his girl. Her eyes were puffy and red, still streaming with tears before she spoke again.

“Are you mad at me?” She sobbed before putting her head in her hands. She felt his body wrap around her as he laid down on his back, bringing her in between his strong hold. Head to his chest to steady her shaky breathing. She couldn’t see that her question hurt Peter, and that it caused him to furrowed his eyebrows together before he piped up only to console her.

“Sh,” He cooed to her, rubbing his hand up and arm and kissing the top of her head. 

“I just couldn’t do it,” She started. Barely comprehensible through her tears, she sniffled before continuing.

“I texted you cause I thought I would be ready by the time you got here but I had nothing to wear ‘cause everything looked bad on me, and I wanted to look nice for you. And I just woke up feeling so awful today,” She lost her breath before being able to continue, only sobbing loudly now as Peter held her closer. 

“Baby, s’okay” He murmured before peppering her tears with kisses. 

“I wish you would’ve told me,” He sighed, causing you to choke out a whine.

“I know, I’m sorry Pete,” She said, detaching herself from his body completely and turning on her side to face the wall.

“I wish I didn’t waste your time.” She mumbled through her scratchy voice. 

She closed her eyes, hissing at the sudden weight of her bed lifting, thinking that this was the end. 

Peter was going to leave and never come back, that she really fucked up this time. Maybe formally break up with her on the way out, or send a text later after a harsh goodbye. 

Then she felt a presence in front of her face, opening her eyes to meet Peter’s. 

“Hey, hey, look at me,” He said as she started to stir in her position, wanting to curl up in her pillow before he could continue. Still, she listened and forced herself to look at him, feeling more exposed than she ever did before. 

“You could never waste my time,” Peter stated, taking her free hand in his to kiss it. He rubbed his thumb on her hand in comfort before reaching over to cup her face, puffy from the tears shed and previous frustration. 

“I wish you told me so I could’ve planned for a day in,” He smiled, crinkles by his eyes forming that never failed to make her smile in return, even if it was weakly. 

She shook her head in disbelief of the man in front of her. 

“Why are you so patient with me?” She cried, attempting to choke back the tears. 

“You’re allowed to have a bad day babe,” He scoffed. Of course, she should know that Peter would know that more than anyone. He always adored her for being there for him when. he was battered and bruised, or whenever his trauma flared. She didn’t realize that he always admired her for the patience she had for him. 

“I want to be there for you, and if I can’t be, I want to help you get the help you need.” He firmly stated. 

She sighed shakily from his affirmations that he was there for her, not knowing what to do with herself or this information. She tried so hard to keep this part of herself as far away from Peter as possible because she didn’t want to scare him. 

She should’ve known scaring him wasn’t even a possibility once she found out he was Spider-Man. 

“Now, move over, why don’t you.” He rolled his eyes playfully before jumping in the bed. He made her scooch over on the bed to join her before devouring her body with his lanky arms and legs and peppering her salty cheeks with kisses once again. 

She was tickled from his light attitude about the entire situation and gratitude filled her heart. Barely breathing from the combination of laughter and the sobbing from last night and tonight, all catching up to her. She couldn’t help but still have that voice of doubt in her mind as her amazing boyfriend showered her in affection.

“I’m sorry if I’m too much Peter,” she started, head resting on his chest once again as they laid on their sides. 

She looked up at him to meet his eyes.

“if loving me is hard sometimes.” She said even smaller, afraid of Peter’s response. 

To her surprise he only shook his head with a smile before holding her closer. 

“Loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.” Peter claimed, kissing the top of her head once more.

They laid still for the next 10 minutes, enjoying the closeness of each other more than anything, before her breathing and eyelids got heavier, falling asleep in his arms.

[technowoah]

Wait imagine a fic where Jack and the reader are long distance or something and when Tubbo and Tommy are doing the man hunt irl the reader surprises Jack.

That would be cute I think 🤔

Just One Livestream

You surprise Jack with a spontaneous visit to the UK, little did you know that they were livestreaming.

- Jack Manifold x gen neutral!reader

- Anon Requested!

⚠︎ swearing, fluff!, not proofread

an// I hope yall enjoy! Much love! And sorry it came out so late I have no inspiration rn but imma get it done! Also I used the difference of American hours to London hours so sorry of

Navigation!

"Love, why are you up early?" Jack asked through the phone.

You two were facetiming eachother as he propped his phone up on his dashboard while he started to drive. It was around 1 am for you and 6 am for Jack. Sadly you two were in a long distance relationship. You had met Jack when you were on a college trip to London to study abroad for 3 weeks. You were sad that you had to leave your home country, but this was a opportunity you couldn't oppose.

During this trip you had found a cafe that you would go to often. The first time you sat at the cafe alone you always noticed it was only you and this other man in the cafe. He was always on his computer and sat by a window, he always came early too, even earlier than you. As the days went on you continued to see him around more and he seemed to notice you as well. You made a note to yourself to always try and show up a tad bit earlier to the cafe to stay around the same time as he did.

You two got to know eachother throughout the three weeks you had to stay in London. The small nods became hellos, and the hellos turned into full on conversation by the window. He had told you his name was Jack Manifold and was kind of surprised when you didn't immediately know who he was. To him it was refreshing not to be immediately noticed based on his appearance. You both had exchanged numbers one day and after each morning you two would text non stop even during your classes. Luckily trying to get to know Jack changed your sleep schedule and because of that you always made it to class on time.

Jack was such an amazing guy to you, but during the first week you had developed a small crush on the man, and he had developed a crush on you too. The second week you two had ventured out onto different territory than the cafe. Jack started to call those small outings after class, dates and you weren't opposed to the dates at all you loved them. The second and third week were mostly dates and the night before you left he asked to be your boyfriend and of course you accepted not knowing the pain of a long distance relationship.

You had to answer his question on why you were up so early. "Yeah- Um, Im up because of you." You chuckled. "You changed my sleep schedule ever since I met you."

"Well you're welcome, because before me I heard you were missing classes." Jack payed attention to the road but still talked to you.

"Because I told you! And I am grateful, but there is nothing to do at one am here." You sighed while you started to walk around your room as you lied to him.

Jack was talking to you while you did a clean sweep around your house to check if you had everything for your trip.

Two weeks ago you had decided to pack your bags and take a trip back to London. Right now your flight will be leaving early in the morning and that's why you are up so early.

You wanted to surprise Jack instead of straight up telling him that you will be in the country. You missed him dearly, and this will be a great way to spend time together instead of seeing eachother across a screen. One of you had to make that sacrafice and that would be you.

While Jack continued to talk you checked everywhere to make sure you arent leaving anything behind.

"What are you doing, darling?" Jack asked and that snapped you out of your trance. "Are you even listening to me? Im hurt." Jack faked being hurt.

You smiled at him and shook your head. "Im sorry I wasn't listening. What were you saying?"

"I was saying, when you were ignoring me, that I'm going to the cafe right now and that we should plan a trip soon. I miss you." Jack confessed and you awed.

"I miss you too Jack! I hopw we can see each other soon." You tried to contain your smile as you hid your surprise.

"Me too."

Your plane finally landed as you let out a sigh of relief. You had collected all of your shit fast so you could finally get off of that horrible plane. Every stereotypical airplane scene happened to you in the hours you were on that plane. You had a child crying behind you with a mother who couldn't keep that child calm, you were sat next to a man who snored the whole ride here and you just felt cramped.

Sadly you couldn't return any of Jack's messages or calls that you saw when you were in the airplane terminal. You tried calling him twice but they both went to voicemail while you rolled your bag through the huge building. Finding yourself outside you ordered an Uber and once you did that your phone began to ring showing Jack's name and picture of you two together on the screen.

You quickly answered the phone. "Hey!"

"Hi!" Jack chuckled. "I called like, 17 times!"

"I know! Im sorry. I was busy." You weren't lying getting a plane and basically leaving early in the morning and arriving in the afternoon in London. "So, what are you doing today?"

"I am hanging out with Tommy and Tubbo at the park! Im picking them up now!" Jack responded and you heard him close his car door.

"Which park?" You asked quickly as you saw your Uber arrive.

Jack started to laugh. "Uh I'll text you the park I guess. Why would you want to know?"

"No reason! I just want to make sure you are safe. Dont make me call 999." You tried to joke around and take the attention off of your question.

"I cant believe you still remember 999." Jack laughed.

"I still do!" You said as you got inside your Uber and gave the driver the directions to your hotel forgetting that Jack was on the other line.

"Wait hotel?" Jack questioned through the phone.

"Hotel? What are you talking about?" You acted oblivious.

"I- I thought you were talking about a hotel." Jack hesitated.

"No!" You tried to cover up your mistake.

"Well Im going to pick up Tommy soon. I'll talk to you later okay? Answer my calls this time!" Jack chuckled.

"I definitely will!"

You had recived the name of the park you were surprising Jack at. You began to walk around the parking lot after you got dropped off and noticed his car sitting there. There were tons of people at the park today and you didn't know where he would be. As you walked on the dirt trails of the park your thoughts took over, what if you made a mistake and should've told Jack that you were here in London and wanted to meet up at the cafe?

You looked at people as they passed by you ok the trail wishing that you had that energy that you had before, thinking that you would find Jack easily when in reality you were in a busy part of the park and he could be anywhere.

When you thought all hope was lost you heard some loud voices on the trail to your right. You were already walking aimlessly through the park and your first instinct was to go left and walk away from the loud voices, but then you heard something.

"Tommy this was a bad idea!"

"I dont think it was!"

You stood in the "intersection" of the dirt trails thinking that you heard those voices right. You rounded the corner and followed right to see Tommy and Jack doubled over, out of breath while Tubbo was still standing up breathing heavily. There were far away from you, but not far away that you couldn't see them clearly.

You began to call out to them. "Tommy! Jack! Tub-"

They quickly turned around and took off running. Confused on why they were doing that you took off running after them trying to tell them to stop. They were yelling and you were yelling and getting weird glances from stangers, and you dont blame them. You're chasing after your boyfriend and his two friends in a quiet public park. You continued to hear their groans of tiredness and their speed started to slow down.

"Jack! Tommy! Wait up!" You yelled out of breath as you slowed down as well.

"We give up! We give up!" Tubbo yelled and came to a complete stop while trying to catch his breath. He turned around to finally face you. "Y/N?!"

"Wait what?!"

"You're here?!" Jack ran up to you and gave you a bone crushing hug, rocking you two back and forth.

"I am! And Im our of breath thanks to you three." You said while still hugging Jack.

"M'sorry I thought you were a fan and I took off and they followed suit I guess." Tommy rubbed his forehead.

"A fan?" You questioned and Tommy and Tubbo lifted their phones up gesturing that they were recording.

"We're doing manhunt in real life, darling." Jack kissed your temple and wrapped his arn around your waist, holding you tight.

"Next time look before you run okay." You smiled still out of breath while kissing Jack's cheek.

"Enough with the PDA!" Tubbo yelled still recording you two.

"We havent even started!" Jack yelled back giving you a huge hug. Jack closed the distance between you two and gave you a passionate kiss on the lips while the two boys groaned in disgust.

"I think that's enough streaming for today boys." Tommy sighed.

"Sorry again, love. That won't happen again."

You and Jack walked hand in hand down the streets of London. People had to walk around you two because you were basically taking up the whole sidewalk and you weren't letting go of his hand anytime soon.

"It better not! I dont want to run after you again." You smiled as you bumped shoulders.

"And you wont have to!" He smiled back at you as you two continued to walk and people dodged the two of you.

"Have you ever thought of moving here?" Jack asked out of nowhere.

"I have actually! On the plane ride here I thought of leaving and moving to London." You thought about it constantly. It was nice being close to Jack and it was a major risk.

"Well wherever you're ready, I'll be here for you." Jack kissed your cheek. "And I wont run away when you come here!"

You two finally made it to your destination which was the cafe you two met at. It was busy at this time because it was the middle of the day and not the beginning. You two entered and took your seats by the window where you two usually sat.

"I love you. I missed this." Jack said.

"I love you too! And of course I missed this. Maybe you can show me more places around London and convince me to stay longer." You gave him a proposal.

"Longer than what?" Jack asked.

"Four weeks." You grinned.

Jack grabbed both of your hands and kissed the back of them. "Hell yeah. I get you for more than four weeks?!"

"That's if you show me places to stay longer." You teased.

"Okay babe. You like ferris wheels?"

[just-some-random-blogger]

Connecting Dots

NCT Philosophy Student!Lee Donghyuck (Heachan) x Statistics Student!Reader Summary: Life is pretty depressing when you live knowing your days are numbered. Alternatively, life is pretty lit when you live knowing your days are numbered. Donghyuck is in right in the middle of both. Word Count: 21k+ Warnings: Fem!Reader, Kun x Reader (?), Enemies to lovers, mentions of death, terminal illness, suicide, LOTS OF DARK HUMOR, self depreciating jokes, dry humor, university/college au, frat boyz!NCT, drinking, smoking, cussing, typos, angst, fluff, slow burn, graphic smut/sexual themes, awkward first time, low key scamming, appealing to emotions, did i mention angst, i cried writing this yall HAHA good luck, typos, etc.

A/N: Clearly from the tags, you can tell one of them is sick (its heachan lol its not a spoiler) I denounce any illness to ever actually happen to my baby boy i love him so much i wish he lives a long healthy live AMEN periodt. I am also in no way making light of cancer or any illness. I wrote this knowing only surface level or second hand experience about real life experiences with terminal illnesses and with the thought that this might cheer someone up. do not read this is you are not comfortable with the premise. ALSO THERE ARE A LOT OF SCENE JUMPS OK BYe GEEZ I CRIED AS I WROTE THE END PART

yo i edited this twice because it didnt save RIP, but actually i think it came out better now also i made two moodboards, what are you gonna do about it, punk?

Listen to Rose by D.O

To you I offer Eternity;

I was by the bay with one of my favorite people. We were on a bench. I was sitting, she was laid down. The ocean breeze felt cool, and the ocean waves sounded calming. The said person speaks softly to me, "Can you tell me a story?"

I turn to the child whose head was on my lap. She pouts the cute way she always does while I clarify, "what kind of story?"

"One with daddy."

"Ah," I stroke her hair, "I think I told you all the stories I have with your father."

"But I like your stories!"

“Sorry Poppy,” I say, “I don’t have any other stories to tell you.”

She pouts again and hums, “what about your favorite story?"

"My favorite story? Well, I thought of one, but it's a pretty long. Do you want to hear it?"

“Yes!” 

“Are you sure? It gets kind of sad.”

"I'm sure! I'm sure!"

I shake my head and chuckle, "okay, well it starts on one ordinary school day."

"Hey," I say to my classmate in an awfully bright colored orange hoodie. He was holding a lollipop stick to his mouth. "Can I sit next you?" I ask, although I would say my tone wasn't really much of a question.

He raises a brow and shrugs. I notice the sheen on his lips and figure it couldn’t possibly be from the sugar from his candy. He must put on some lip balm. I mean, we love moisture lips. Good for him.

 He pulls the lollipop out quickly and places it right back after answering, "don't give a shit."

I pull my head back. Oooh, right in the 10 o'clock subject. Didn't know Donghyuck had an attitude.

I feel the right corner of my lip curl in amusement. I place my stuff down on the desk beside him. "I didn't peg the quiet nerd to be so snarky."

He shoots me a glare, "says the nerd who happens to be the teacher's pet."

"Oh, so you do know we've shared classes before. Two, well, 3, counting this one."

"Four. You wouldn't fucking shut up during literature."

I smile, "aw, how sweet of you to notice."

Donghyuck raises his brows at that. I pull out my notes, my colored pens, and my highlights. He observes the structure of my writing for a moment and I can’t help but feel proud of it. I had, I would say, 10/10 notes. 

He leans on his desk and bites on his candy, making an audible crunching sound, "stop talking to me, nerd."

I turn to him, "Hey, that's on you for interpreting nerd negatively. Nerds are all the rage now, having comicon, cosplaying...DnD, all catered to them.”

Donghyuck pulls what's left of his sugary stick out and continues to chew, all the while narrowing his eyes at me. I continue, "also, don't you eat lollipops every day? Diabetes is gonna kill ya."

He chuckles dryly, "good thing I'm already dying."

When he looks away, I follow, smiling to myself, "dang, I like you."

Donghyuck's eyes dart from his me to our Chem teacher, Mr. Wong.

 When the bell rings, I'm surprised by how quick Donghyuck manages out the door. I curse under my breath and shove my things into my backpack. I call out to him, "wait!"

But of course, nothing is easy in this world, and he keeps walking.

 I manage to catch up with him in the hallway, clearly to his disappointment. He spots me as he steals a glance from over his shoulder and groans. He speeds up, only to have me jog up next to him.

"Wait up! This is no way to flex that you’re just a tiny bit taller than me."

He abruptly freezes, surprising me into an ungraceful pause. He places his hands on his hips and sighs, "Am I a joke to you?"

I make a face and an oooh sound, "I like that meme too. I send it to my-" "Stop fucking following me!" he barks, raising his voice. It was honestly unexpected. I felt the burn in my cheeks after that and the stares of people passing by. It wasn't so much that I was embarrassed, it's just that it really kind of came from no where.

Alright, to be fair, I didn't really know this kid, so I didn't really know what to expect.

But true to my nature, as he glared at me before walking away, I kinda fell for him. Not in like a oh-my-gosh-marry-me kind of way, more like dang-I-haven't-had-my-blood-pumping-like-this-since-forever kind of way.

Clearly, the game plan from then on was simple. Get the dirt on Lee Donghyuck.

...wait, his last name was Lee right?

"Right," Jaemin pointed at me as I smiled at Kun for opening my yogurt. I give Kun a quick arm cuddle as he mixes his ramen in his tupperware next to me. One thing you should know about Kun is that all his lunch is prepared at home, which is why I can never dare to eat too much of anything processed around him, lest I hear his wrath.

Jaemin, who was sat in front of us, continued, "he too is a philosophy major like moi."

I shudder and make a gagging sound.

Kun scolds me without batting an eye, "don’t act like a child."

“Why would I when I detest them?”

“So dramatic,” Kun mumbles.

I stick out my tongue and go back to my original train of thought, "I think I have PTSD over that. The P standing for Philosophy traumatic stress disorder. It's just so mind-fucking."

"Says the stat major!" Jaemin blurts in offence, pulling a nasty side eye.

"Hey, there is a refined beauty in complex arithmetic and it's so darn satisfying when everything simplifies to zero," I make a face as I smile and take a bite of my yogurt and pre-cut apples I had prepared in a duckie themed lunch box. "Wouldn't you agree, Mr. Honor Roll?" I turn to my best friend.

Kun gives us both a knowing look and nods silently in agreement.

It was Jaemin's turn to shudder, "the human brain truly is such a wonder."

I raise a hand at him, "hey, remember, I'll do your stats, you do my philo."

Jaemin takes my extended hand and shakes it, "deal."

Kun quickly swallows the ramen he was chewing, "no one is doing anyone else's homework! Not in this household."

I give him a sour look and humor him with a rapid nod. I then turn to Jaemin, then asking him what I was actually interested in, "so, Lee Donghyuck. What's his deal?" 

For a second, Jaemin thinks, "well, he's usually snarky but otherwise pretty quiet. He's actually a frat memb..."

Jaemin falls into silence. I give him a moment but get impatient halfway through. I raise a brow at Jaemin's trailing tone, "what gives?"

"Dude..." he says in a softer tone compared to his prior one, "did you make a diabetes joke at him?" Jaemin asks, face falling into seriousness.

"Why? Does he have diabetes?"

Jaemin releases a breath, "he has cancer."

Kun and I pull back at the information. For a second, I debate whether Jaemin meant the star sign, but based on the look on his face, I'm pretty sure he meant the illness. Also, he as far as I remembered, his philosopher's ass detests astrology n' stuff. Oh, and right, he says has cancer and not is a cancer. Good job, me. 

"Woah," I say in shock, "he really wasn't kidding about dying."

Kun quicky snaps at me and calls my name out in a warning. There is a thick and tense silence between us. Well, about as silent as it gets in a full cafeteria.

 I look at my apple slices and take one. I dip it my yogurt at point it at Jaemin, "I still think he's pretty cool though."

Kun turns to me with an incredulous look, "You missed the part where you say you're going to apologize to him for being insensitive,"

I turn to him, "How could I be insensitive when I was just being myself?"

Kun looks at me like a grew another head.

I roll my eyes, "I didn't know he had cancer."

Jaemin makes a pained face and hisses, "babe, that's literally what insensitive means."

"Listen, Webster Dictionary, the only person that should be schooling me for word meanings is someone who actually studies words." I catch a woman in a cute lil’ plaid skirt walking over to us. I pat the table and motion at her, "much like the lit student."

She gives her kilowatt smile, repeating, "lit student?"

Jaemin turns to the said person and smiles back, standing and giving her a quick peck on her lips, "hi baby.”

"What were you talking about?" she asks.

I ignore her question and point, "Sana, I think you should know your boyfriend is cheating on you. He called me babe a while ago, supposedly to prove a point, but I know he was just trying to get into my pants.”

Kun rolls his eyes. Jaemin sighs. Sana pouts the cute way she always does and turns from me to her boyfriend, "is that true, Nana?"

"No, she was just asking me about a classmate," he starts. Jaemin then whispers something in her ears, which makes Sana cover her face, giggle, and smack Jaemin's chest. I clench my teeth in disgust, "I bet 20$ this fool just said he only wants to get into her pants."

Kun slurps up some more ramen. Jaemin turns to me as he rolls his eyes. Sana covers her giddy expression again. "If there's nothing else, we'll be going now," he says, wrapping an arm over his girlfriend's shoulder.

 Sana beams and waves at me then Kun, "see you two later."

"Later nerdz," Jaemin says, doing a peace sign before walking off.

Kun gives them a wave goodbye. I call as they leave, "You're too good for him, Sana!"

"Can you not?" Kun says more than asks.

"No," I say simply.

"But you can try."

"I can't believe I can do that either."

Kun sighs.

  After lunch, Kun incessantly reminded me to prepare some sort of apology to Donghyuck for my unintentional insensitivity, quote, 'regardless of it being unintentional or not, it could have really hurt him' end quote, as he walked me to the library.

Knowing me, it falls flat to my ears. But with Kun knowing me, he did a good ol' fashioned, I'm-going-to-tell-your-mom-and-you'll-never-hear-the-end-of-this line. I begrudgingly had to agree, since my mom was going to visit my dorm this weekend to bring food over and I really don't want to have to deal with more nagging. Kun was mother enough. It was no wonder why my mom, or any mom really, liked him so much.

Anyway, after doing our secret handshake and wishing him to fail his quiz in biology, he headed off to his class and I headed into the library to do some homework, and work on that apology, ugh.

 BUT!

It wasn't my fault I saw Donghyuck there by the world history aisle in a yellow hoodie and yet a lollipop still in his mouth. His lips reflected some light due to his lip balm.

I practically jumped when I saw him. I hastily made my way over and sat down in the vacant chair in front of him.

"Hi Donghyuck ," I say, making him turn from whatever he was working on, to me. I pull my notebook and text book out. He pulls out his earphones and his expression falls. I pull my pencil case and writing materials onto the table. I begin to work on my calculus homework, starting a new page with pink ink and mint green highlight.

Donghyuck speaks, "nice notes."

I look at the page that was open and smile at the pastel colors on it, "it's a specialty of mine."

Donghyuck shows his yellow pad and I see his unintelligible writing. I visibly react to it as he says, "here to show off?"

"No."

"Then fuck off."

I sigh, "I knew you were going to say that, but here me out. I have this friend Kun and I told him you're pretty cool. I also mentioned that I made a diabetes joke, which lead to you doing a death joke," I raise my hands, "which, by the way, was pretty funny."

Donghyuck adjusts in his chair.

  "Anyway, he told me to apologize since we found out you have cancer and stuff --though I really don't see a need for it."

He raises a brow and drops the pen in his hand, "you don't?"

"No, I don't. I think you and I have pretty similar sense of humor, and you made a joke yourself," I give a contemplating look, "And, I mean, I meant it when I said we all die anyway."

There is a moment of silence.

I suddenly correct myself, "although, if life was a race, you're probably like the Usain Bolt, you know?"

Donghyuck stares at me blankly.

"YOU TOLD HIM WHAT?" Kun looks at me with wide eyes, absolutely flabbergasted.

I flash him a wide smile as I hop around him, "I told him he was like the Usain Bolt of dying!"

Kun pulls his head back, flashing some double chins. He looks absolutely mortified as he calls my name.

I laugh at him, "KUNNN! It was fineee! We’re on the same wavelength! He even invited me out to a party at his frat house!"

"NO!" he says in horror.

"What do you mean no?! I have a new friend, this is so exciting! I'm finally going to have someone who doesn't nag me like you do, or flaunts their disgusting cutesy relationship in front of my face!"

"Dude! You are both messed up! I can already imagine the stunts you two are gonna pull. Plus, I don't think it's healthy for him to be around someone that could unknowingly be encouraging suicidal thoughts."

"Kun, he's not suicidal, he's terminally ill."

He full on snaps, "and you are taking this far too lightly!"

I reel back at the nerve I hit and raise my hands in surrender. "Geez. I get it. Dude, I don't actually want anyone to die."

"Good."

"Maybe except myself."

If we were in a cartoon, Kun would be animated with a bunch of bold, red symbols right now, if you know what I mean. He continuously barks at me and I profusely state that that was, indeed, just a joke.

"Don't go to that frat party," he warns.

"But Kun, I already promised."

"Consider this a promise meant to be broken then! Call him and tell him you changed your mind."

I think about his words for a second and decide to agree.

Of course, in order to call Donghyuck, I would first need Donghyuck’s number. Alas, I do not have his number. So what do I do? Go to the frat party to get his number. Duh.

The venue was a whole concoction of smells of sweat, alcohol, and what I could boldly assume to be marijuana, hopefully the legal kind. It didn't really help in my search that the place was so awfully congested and large, and lit under this ridiculous indigo light. Luckily, in my side quest for air, I found my way into the not-as-crowded kitchen and there I found this tipsy pretty boy.

"Hey there," he said to me.

"Are you a frat member?" I ask.

He leans by the counter and bobs his head around in a yes, I think, "Kim Jungwoo."

"No one asked. Have you seen Donghyuck?"

"Yahhh," he exhales a strong alcoholic scent, "he was out there playing beer pong without the beer. It was just po-"

I head back out to the sea of people, looking for a pingpong table. It wasn't that hard to find. I just followed the sound of cheering and people yelling 'chug, chug, chug,' and eventually found who I was looking for.

Donghyuck was there cheering with a bunch of dudes. He was wearing a hoodie again, but this time it was in a shade of blue. He seems to have run out of lollipops though.

"Donghyuck," I call to him loud enough and wave.

Him, as well as the guys around him, turn to me when they hear this. They make a deep, rising sound as Donghyuck walks up to me, "you're here."

I nod, "I said I would come."

"Cool. You want a drink?"

"Sure. You want a lollipop?"

He turns to me as we push through the crowd. He grabs my wrist as he leads us off, "why, do you have one?"

"No."

He was already turned away before I replied, but I like to think he chuckled at me when I said this.

It doesn't take long but the travel out of the crowd was pretty treacherous. We wind back to the kitchen and Donghyuck opens the fridge to hand me a beer. He gets himself a soda, it seems. 

And if you were wondering, pretty boy was no longer here.

Donghyuck opens the bottle for me then opens the soda for himself.

When he hands me the drink, I ask, "do you not drink alcohol?"

"Well, I'm on meds so, if I want to overdose, I could, but I'm trying not to disappoint anymore than I already do. That's like on my top 10 worst ways to die: dying a disappointment."

I huff, "hear hear," then take a swig of bear. I hiss.

Donghyuck examines me for a moment, then raises a brow at me, "dare you to chug it."

Without a second's thought, I go, "hah! You're on."

The task was not easy, but I had done it once before. I could take a whole bottle of beer, but more than that I’d start to get drunk. I tilt the bottle up, and try not to taste it as it rushes down my throat. I basically drink the pain away.

I hiss and hold the bottle upside down to show my victory.

Donghyuck seems both impressed and not all at once, "you're more compulsive than I am."

"Well, you gotta live on the edge when you know someone who has cancer."

Donghyuck releases a chuckle, it seems, a little harder than he expected to. He motions his head to the side, "follow me."

He brings us back to the sea of people. He grabs my wrist midway again. We eventually manage and make our way up a flight of stairs. We continue walking until he chooses one of the doors in the hall and opens it. I figure it's his room. He motions to his bed. I decide to sit down and he follows, placing his soda on his desk, sitting down on the desk chair, rolling it over in front of me.

In truth, it sinks in I should probably be pretty nervous in this scene. I was alone with a frat boy in a hoodie, who's scent I had a faint whiff of when we walked into his room. I faintly heard him lock the door on our way in too, only because it wasn't as loud up here. Now I was sitting on his bed in front of him.

What's more was I decided to wear a beige, floral dress to the party, clearly not getting the memo the dress code was itty-bitty, skimpy and tight. I looked like one of those painted-to-be Madonna girls who finds a bad boy to lose her virginity to. It was unintentional; I genuinely just liked this dress. Also, I don't really plan on losing my virginity to him.

Yet, I don't really feel nervous or scared. Not that I thought he couldn't take advantage of me if he tried. I have first hand experience of boy strength because of Kun. And he's taller than me, though, again, not that much. It wasn't that I was dumb enough to believe just because he was terminally ill, he couldn't possibly chose to do anything to me either. It's really kind of just how he has these moles on his lightly tanned face, how he has strong brows, albeit his soft expression, and how he always had moisturized lips. I just... felt like he wouldn't

Donghyuck tilts his head, "so?"

"So," I repeat.

For a moment, we say nothing.

I quickly remember, "oh, I need your number."

"My number?" he raises his brows and crosses his arms.

"Yeah, I promised Kun I would call you and tell you that I won't go to your frat party and I can't do that without your number."

He knits his brows. He opens his mouth and peeks his tongue out in the corner. He swivels in his chair and gets his phone from his pocket. He turns to his phone and asks, "what's your number?"

I begin to recite it by heart. He punches it down and calls it. I pull my phone out, seeing an unsaved number. I answer, "hello?"

There's echo and feedback. We both pull our phones away. I lower my volume.

"This is Lee Donghyuck," he says.

"Hi. I was calling to say I'm not going to your frat party."

He knits his brows, "why not?"

"Welp, my friend Kun thinks I might encourage some suicidal tendencies."

The playful glint that he had in his eyes falters. He hums and nods in agreement.

I continue, "anyway, I did my part for him now. Bye."

I pull my phone away and end the call. I begin to save his number.

Donghyuck watches me. He shakes his head and sighs, "you're crazy."

I turn to him and coo, "Aww, thank you. That means a lot, coming from you."

He chuckles, "So what? You have a crush on me or something?"

I raise my brows and scoff, "bold of you to assume. I say you're cool once and it inflates your flat head."

He breaks into a laugh, "hey, which one of us is in a stranger's room?"

"Nah, but you're not a stranger. We’ve shared four classes together. Plus, I've decided to make you a friend."

He purses his lips, "I don't want to be your friend though."

"Why not? You like dark humor and self-depreciating jokes, so do I. You even invited me to your stinky frat house."

Donghyuck crosses his arms as he chuckles. He spins on his chair while replying, "and you said yes."

"I literally just covered that I want to befriend you because we're alike. I'm kind of up to here with Kun's nagging," I raise an arm all the way up. I bring my arm down to raise a finger, "plus, Jaemin and Sana make out a lot."

He raises a brow, "you're friends with Na Jaemin?"

"Where do you think I found out you had cancer?"

He sniffles, "hmm... so you were asking around about me?"

I roll my eyes, "what part of wanting to befriend you did you not understand?"

He does not respond to this. He continues to spin on his chair. 

A moment passes, when he asks "why not kick them to the curb?"

"My friends.”

“Since you hate them so much.”

“Well, then what? Be loner?"

He halts his spinning to raise his brows at me expectantly. 

I shake my head, "I might not be the biggest people person but I don't actually want to be alone. It’s fun when I can make jokes and people don’t look at me like I’m crazy. Also, I don't like eating by myself. It makes me both look and feel pathetic."

He hums, "that's why I joined the frat."

I raise a hand, "point proven."

"How'd you befriend Jaemin though? That dude only hangs out with his girlfriend."

I snort, "he sucks at math. I like math. I looked for a study buddy on the school website, someone to help me with my other subjects. In return I’d help them with their math. Yeah. Jaemin helps me and I help him, plus his girlfriend Sana's in lit, so we all help each other out. Other than that, it’s been me and Kun since forever."

"I'm guessing he doesn't help you with your homework."

"He does, but he's just too smart for his own good, and I can't vibe with him if it's outside numbers, you know. It's an insult how he can't dumb down to my level when we talk about anything else."

"He's a math major too?"

I nod, "the psychopath is double majoring in statistics and economics, just cause he can. It seems fun, but I would like to graduate without aging 100 years, thank you very much."

"You two seem very close," he leans on his legs and moves left and right on his chair, "considering you still did what he asked you even though he didn't want you to come to my party."

I nod, "Yeah. He's one of the few people that can actually tolerate me, plus, I'm pretty sure my mom likes him better than her own flesh and blood in the son-I've-never-had shtick. Ya feel me?"

He hums, "childhood friends?"

"Worse, our moms are childhood friends. I basically have no say in this friendship."

He lets out an airy chuckle.

He spins around again for a minute. I close my contact list with my new log named 'DUNGHYUHAHA'. I turn to him then ask, "what about you? What's your deal? And why'd you invite me?"

He stops moving. He then turns to me, licking his lips. He straightens in his chair and rests his elbows on his thighs. "Well," he looks to the side, "you're right. We're pretty similar."

He leans back, "to be completely honest with you,” he chuckles, “your humor is refreshing. People around me are normally too scared to even be near me, in fear of breaking me or something. It’s why I stopped making friends a long time ago. The only reason why I'm in the frat is because most of the dudes here are too drunk for personal relationships, or too horny to be real with anyone. They could care less about me, y'know, minus the times they visit me in the hospital. It’s a nice mix for me."

He looks off to a pile of clothes in his room, “Sorry about the mess in my room. It’s normally just me and my cousin here, no cute girls.”

I feel my cheeks burn a bit at the insinuation.

Donghyuck realizes this then clears his throat, changing the subject, “Yuta’s another reason why I can stay here too. He’s in med, and was tasked with the side job of making sure I stay alive.”

I shrug, “Free XP.”

He chuckles, “sure.”

“And don’t worry about the mess. I live alone and yet my dorm looks like two frat boys live in it too.”

“Ya,” he points, “that’s offensive.”

We share a chuckle. 

He sighs, turning to me with a soft expression. He purses his lips, “I’d like to be friends with someone who doesn’t looks at me like I'm a walking handicap. Like trust me, I think know better than anyone where you're coming from, but I'm not like those sorry assholes whose lives are literally on the line."

He looks at me silently for a moment, as if to measure my reaction on what he said. I pout and ask, "did another cancer patient steal your soup or something? Is that why they're an asshole?"

He snorts and rolls his eyes. The tension in his shoulders relax slightly, "yeah, no, this dude that I sometimes share rooms with always got extra dessert because he supposedly had only one more month to live or some shit. They say that about him every month though. It's pretty sus."

We share a laugh. It wasn't too hard but it was enough to melt the remaining tension in the air.

"I'd be pretty pissed too if I had cancer and didn't get extra dessert."

I claps his hand and points at me, "Right? The world is so cruel."

From then on, I began to see Donghyuck a lot more.

I tried not to mix oil with water, since Kun was still pretty hesitant about me spreading my disease to him, which is funny, cause aside from skipping exercises, I'm as healthy as a horse. As much as possible, I tried not to schedule the two of them together, just for now. Kun was normally too busy to have an opening with Donghyuck and I anyway.

Normally, I would hang out with Donghyuck whenever I had vacancies without Kun, which meant we fully went wildin'. It started out as a running gag between us, but we began to take advantage of his cancer to get discounts whenever we could. We had to play it up to get a reaction though, as in make him look more sick. 

I mean, think not about what cancer has done to you, but what cancer can do for you. Admittedly though, there were times we mutually began to feel bad for our victim and just bought whatever it was we wanted.

It was then that I realized Donghyuck did put on lip balm to mask the paleness of his lips. He was a bit embarrassed about it at first, but I assured him it wasn’t a big deal. I mean, don’t we all want soft lips? He eventually grew comfortable about it around me.

On this particularly balmy afternoon, we decided to go to this supposedly popular restaurant by the bay. I had never heard of it before though, and neither of us had gone here. It made for a perfect target cause our rule is to hit the place once, hit it hard, and never to show up there again. I'm talking make them pity Donghyuck so much they pay us for eating there.

Anyway the name of the place was Blue Lagoon. Talk about SpongeBob rip off, right?

"Are you going to Jaemin's birthday party?" I ask as he eats his lobster dish.

He shakes his head as he just devours his plate, "absolutely not."

"Why not? Isn't your entire section going to come?"

"Yeah and they're all going to walk on eggshells around me. I told Jaemin thanks but I'd rather die than have our class make it weird for me."

"Yikes, they probably had a near death experience of their own when you told them that."

Donghyuck chuckles, "tell me about it."

I continue with eating my food.

He asks, "are you?"

I disagree, “Kun's mom is visiting that weekend."

He nods knowingly.

"Is everything alright for you two so far?" a waitress asks us as she approaches our table. We both turn to her and smile, "yeah, so far so good."

"As good as a cancer patient can get," Donghyuck says as he stuffs his face with garlic bread. He begins to choke on it slightly. I give him a look and hand him a glass of water, "ewww, just because you’re dying doesn't mean you'll die if you get any manners."

Donghyuck takes the glass from me, downing the bread with a big gulp, "apologies."

I turn back to the waitress. She looks like she just saw a two headed dragon. She forces a smile, "Right! I came here to tell you that your food is on the house and that the owner of the restaurant wants to give you both some dessert for being so enthusiastic about the place."

Donghyuck and I cheer, sharing a fist bump. He smiles, "that's great. Thank you."

"You're absolutely welcome sir. She would like to request a photo to put to our customer board as well. Would that be alright?"

We give each other a look and wind up nodding. We turn back to the lady as I answer, "that's fine."

"Great. Would you be needing anything else?" she asks, turning to the both of us.

Donghyuck takes another bite of his food before answering, "A cure for cancer?"

The woman tries to suppress her eyes from widening. She doesn't hide the minuscule reaction though.

"I'm kidding," Donghyuck chuckles, "you've done a lot to humor us. Thank you."

The woman releases a shaky breath and smiles, "of course, you both have a nice meal."

On the train ride back to our dorms, we stand in the crowd of passengers and wind up pretty close because of this. In this context, Donghyuck just looks like your average college student, with his lip balm and his hoodies. You would never know he was sick if he doesn't tell you himself.

Other than the hidden paling of his lips, he remedied by lip balm, and the body pain that springs up, he said he didn’t really have any other side effects. 

I watch him lick his lips and remember how he told me I was right about the lollipops. Although it comforted him because he would get lollipops after his treatments as a kid, he said he should lay off them, lest he add another thing to his list of things to torture his mom. He didn’t want to beat cancer just to deal with diabetes.

I notice that his hoodie has a loose thread on it. I pick it off then ask, "how many hoodies do you have?"

He doesn't seem to notice me as he's staring off into the distance. With how I'm basically a few inches away from kissing him, the only reason why he wouldn't hear me is if he was wearing earphones. From beyond the hood he had on his head, and the hair covering his ears, there I saw the pod in his hearing shell.

I tap his face. He whips his head to me in surprise. His eyes were slightly wide, brows slightly high, and lips slightly parted.

I ask again, "how many hoodies do you have?"

His eyes dart from my lips to my eyes, "30."

I raise my brows then quickly knit them, "30?"

He watches my lips again. His own curve upward into a smile. He shrugs lightly, "cancer perks."

When the train stops at one station, a lot of passengers go down, giving Donghyuck and I newfound ample room between us. He takes this opportunity to remove his ear pods. I take this opportunity to hand him a lollipop, out of courtesy.

He looks at it for a moment, “didn’t you say this was bad for me?”

"Yeah, but I won it in class for being a teacher's pet. It’s special, like you."

He chuckles, turning to it and taking it from me, "what subject?"

"Statistics. Duh. Mr. Suh loves me."

"I'm sure he does."

He opens it and eats it. He shoves the wrapper into his pocket. He turns back to the distance outside the window. I however keep my eyes on him, "It's your favorite flavor, right? Watermelon."

He turns back to me. He doesn't say anything in reply. That's when I noticed his ears turned pink.

I can't help but chuckle and roll my eyes teasingly. My chest flutters at his reaction, "don't flutter too much. I only know cause you smell like it."

His tongue fiddles with the candy in his mouth. He turns to his feet. He looked like he was about to say something, but doesn't as then the train arrives at the next station and the space begins to get a little tight again.

I scooch over close to him again. This time the stick in his mouth was threatening to poke my face.

Donghyuck catches the plastic in his fingers, moves it to the side of his mouth, then cuts the rod with his teeth in one go. He then casually brings the plastic into his pocket. I gawk at him, "how'd you do that?"

He raises his brows, while he plays with the ball of candy in his mouth, "experience."

I make a face at him. 

He winks. 

I lightly punch his stomach.

I panic when he makes a pained sound.

He suddenly chuckles, “my cancer is on the other side.”

I punch him again, harder, only this time on his shoulder.

"You and Donghyuck are getting pretty serious," Kun says as he pays for our convenience store donuts. I grab my share and narrow my eyes, "you say that as if we're dating."

"Well, you talk about him like you like him."

"I do like him."

Kun takes a bite of his donut, "romantically?"

I raise my upper lip at him, "the way I like you, moron."

He chews on his snack and swallows. For a moment, there is an pause between us. Probably not the best choice of words when you and your best friend tried dating in high school. It feels slightly awkward but Kun speaks up through it, "you're treading dangerous waters."

"Kun-"

"No,” he sighs, “just stop and actually listen to me for a moment. I'm not saying you should stop hanging out with him because... because... you might get hurt if he dies,” he makes a pained expression, ”but I'm saying you should understand what you're getting yourself into."

I turn to him and take in his expression, "Kun."

"Don't Kun me," he quips coldly, "you’ve always been like this. You enjoy the thrill of diving head first into everything, but for once, just stop, look, and listen. Not for me, not for Donghyuck, but for yourself. You're going to get badly hurt if you keep running with this."

"So...” an idea clicks in my head, “I should walk."

Kun clicks his tongue, "I swear to g-"

"No. I'm being serious Kun," I nod, "I'll walk, slowly."

And so I tell Donghyuck this when I get to our shared chemistry class.

"You're going to walk slowly with me?" he questions while I swap the pens I was using to build my new page of notes on metal elements.

When I turn to him, I find his eyes glued on my notes, "yeah."

He leans back in his chair, "you should just stop hanging out with me, especially if it gets too much."

I pull back at this statement, not enjoying how he said this as simple as the jokes we crack each other. I quip back, "I'm no wimp."

He chuckles dryly, "It's not about being a wimp," he licks his canine, "it's about me not wanting you to remember me that way anyway."

I scowl, "what? Being annoying and condescending? I'm pretty sure you're going to have to revamp your entire personality for me to remember you any other way, Hyuck."

He doesn't reply and scratches his nose.

Mr. Wong asks what brass is. I raise my hand when no one wants to answer, "an alloy." He sings me a quick praise and continues with the lesson.

Donghyuck chuckles and crosses his arms, "show off."

I smile back at him and turn back to my notes, "if you're jealous, be reborn as a smarter guy. You're pretty close to the end anyway."

He watches me write for a moment. I doodle a beaker on the side of my notebook. I can feel his hand rising up with the to mess up my writing. Without looking, I threaten, "if you even think of messing up my notes, I'm bringing you straight to the after life."

He chuckles, "you might regret that," he rests his head on his hand, "but I hope you won't."

I finally turn back to him, "regret getting my revenge?"

"Joking about the time I have left." He doesn't really give me a chance to retort when he casually asks, "could you help me with my stats too?"

I turn to him and grin, thinking about the more activities I can do in my favorite subject, "absolutely!"

He pulls back in surprise and breaks into a laugh, "wow, and you called me a nerd."

"Again, that's on you for taking it as an insult."

He shakes his head in disagreement and smirks.

"Do you want to join our study group. We usually meet up every Wednesday morning cause it’s the time we’re all free."

"Hmmm, I don't think I can join at that time. Also I actually have this homework due tomorrow. I don't think I can wait all the way to next Wednesday."

"Oh, well, you can join us at lunch! I’ll help you then." I say in a cheery tone.

He looks at me for a moment, "you're finally letting me meet mama Kun?"

"He's not that bad. I’m kinda just dramatic."

"You? Dramatic? Pssh, never."

I shove him playfully. He gives me a look and smiles, "okay, but if he gives me shit for eating cookies for lunch, I'm leaving."

I hiss, "I'll tell him to shut it."

He chuckles.

When we get to lunch, Kun is as formal as ever, shaking Donghyuck's hand and offering half of his homemade sandwiches to him. Donghyuck declines but I readily ask for it.

Kun raises a brow, "I literally made you a whole sandwich and you still want to cheat me. You have packed berries!"

"What's your point? You were willing to give up the half to Hyuck, and he doesn't want it, so I am stepping up for him." I then try to get the other half from him.

He blocks my move by raising his elbow and clicks his tongue, "you are unmerciful. He only has cookies, which is why I offered."

"And I only have one chicken sandwich. You have a beef stroganoff."

Kun continues to swat me away, but knowing it wouldn't last long, I persevere. I eventually get my way and the half of the sandwich. I immediately take a bite of it and butt my head to Kun’s shoulder, "thanks, Kunnie."

He sighs and nods his head, "whatever."

"You can get half of my chicken sandwich."

"I don't want a chicken sandwich, which is why I made myself a beef stroganoff," he snips.

I take another bite of the half I stole from him and nod, "fine, here, you can have it back."

He eyes me, "mmm, how thoughtful of you."

"You're welcome."

At this point, Donghyuck finished his third cookie while watching.

I turn to him, quickly remembering, “oh right!” I take a bite of my sandwich and pull out my statistics notebook. I then get up and sit next to him. He pulls out his homework and I open my notes, showing him an example I had.

Donghyuck’s eyes widen, “dang, your notes look like a whole text book.”

I break into a wide smile as I turn from his notebook to mine, “thank you. Honestly, I only used to work on my writing to one-up Kun, but now it’s become a passion of mine.”

“I can see that,” Donghyuck says.

I take a bite of my sandwich and point, “this is easy.” I chew and swallow, “I’ll try what I do with Jaemin and tell you the answer so you can work for it.”

“Wait,” Donghyuck turns to me in astonishment, “you already have the answer for this?” 

I shake my head, “like I said, it’s easy.”

“I solve faster than her mentally,” Kun notes, making me chide, “no one asked Kun.”

I finish my sandwich just about the same time Donghyuck finishes his homework.

"Ah, Donghyuck," Kun says, "I hear your nickname is full sun."

Donghyuck looks bewildered. His mouth opens and he slowly stutters, "how... do you know that?"

"I mentioned you to one of my patient-friends and he said you did treatment in the place I volunteer at. "

I raise my brows, "oh, you do treatment in St. John's? I've never seen you there before."

Kun snorts, "you act as if you volunteer regularly."

"I volunteer!"

"Once in a blue moon."

"Volunteering is volunteering, Qian Kun."

"Yeah, but I volunteer regularly and still don't expect to know everyone in the hospital. Besides, not every patient is signed up for the NCIT partnership integration."

I catch Donghyuck's uncomfortable look and shake my head, "hey, don't worry. He didn't start volunteering because of you or anything. He used to be in the boy scouts and volunteers for fun."

"I'm still in the boy scouts," he notes.

"And so every summer I am reminded by your troll children."

"Ya! I don't you not to call them that."

"And I said not to take it personally cause I think all children are trolls!” I turn to Donghyuck, “did you know children think it’s okay to sneeze in front of people’s faces?”

Kun looks ready to pick a fight, “Jisung did that on accident one time cause he had a cold!”

I roll my eyes and revert he conversation back to the original topic. "What was your nickname again?" I ask Donghyuck.

Kun answers, carefully, "full sun, right?"

Donghyuck scratches his nape, "Haechan. It means full sun."

I smile from ear to ear, "that's so cute!” I place a hand on my chest, “I for one believe I deserve to be called Haechan as well for the sunshine I spread through my sarcasm."

I prop my elbows on the table. Kun goes out of his way to shove them off. I glare at him. He looks away and pretends nothing happened. He turns to Donghyuck, "when you don’t need help with your homework, do you normally eat lunch with your frat brothers?"

Donghyuck cleans his mouth with his tongue and begins to nod, "sometimes. Most times it's just me."

I frown, "heyyyy, you can always eat with us if you're alone."

He chuckles, "thanks but unlike you, I like to eat alone sometimes."

"Yeah, but I’m saying you don't have to, okay?"

Kun looks at me and smiles softly. Donghyuck looks between us and nods, a smile breaking onto his lips, "thanks."

From then on, Donghyuck began to eat with us every lunch. He seemed to grow a lot more comfortable around Kun and removed the initial filter he had with him, matching up to my humor again. Kun did nothing but helplessly laugh it off. 

Eventually, the three of us (four, counting Jaemin; five, counting Sana) found a comfortable rhythm between us.

It was why I immediately texted him when I didn't see him in class today. At first, I didn't really think much of it, even when he didn't reply. But when I told Kun about it and he gave me that warry mom look he has, I couldn’t shake the worry that crept up my spine.

This was why I was so distracted while I worked on my homework alone in my dorm later that day.

Not even doing math with my favorite song kept me from thinking of Donghyuck. So when Rose by D.O got interrupted by a text notification, I practically jumped.

From DUNGHYUHAHA: slr. i had a treatment schedule today

I let out a breath of relief after reading it. I quickly reply back.

To DUNGHYUHAHA: it's ok! i was just wondering. i only began to worry when kun gave me that worried look he always has

It takes him a moment to reply.

From DUNGHYUHAHA: dont worry about me

From DUNGHYUHAHA: im called haechan because im as powerful as the sun  😎

I break into a smile and reply quickly.

To DUNGHYUHAHA: absolutely

I contemplate for a moment, typing then erasing my message multiple times. I eventually decide to say it anyway.

To DUNGHYUHAHA: i don't know if you'll like this but

To DUNGHYUHAHA: oh gosh i dont even know how to say it

From DUNGHYUHAHA: i knew it, ur in lov w me haha

To DUNGHYUHAHA: no

To DUNGHYUHAHA: like

To DUNGHYUHAHA: i want to send you virtual encouragement

To DUNGHYUHAHA: like

To DUNGHYUHAHA: i wanna tell you u can do it n stuff

To DUNGHYUHAHA: yeah

To DUNGHYUHAHA: i probably shouldn't have. sorry hyuck

When he doesn't reply, I begin to feel bad and really, really stupid. My heart practically leaps when I hear a notification from my phone.

From DUNGHYUHAHA: thank you

The next time I got to hang out with him, we went to the supermarket because I had to restock on my things. I normally did this with Kun but I was with Donghyuck and we didn't really have anything else to do, he agreed we could do my groceries together.

I wash pushing the cart. Donghyuck was walking in front of me, attention alternating from his phone to where he was walking.

When we pass some home decorations and fake flowers, I reach out for a plastic sunflower petal and tell Donghyuck, “You know I really like getting flowers because the first time I did, there was chocolate hidden in the middle.”

Donghyuck, who had been randomly documenting our trip, raised his phone facing me. He notes as he takes a photo, “got it, flowers.” I promptly pose. With how he held his phone up, I found that Donghyuck had a lollipop wrapper pressed between his transparent phone case.

I break into a smile, “you save your lollipop wrappers?”

He pulls his phone down then turns to me with knit brows, “what?”

“Your phone case?”

He turns to his phone case. His jaw drops and he wipes his lips, accidentally smearing the balm. He fixes it and turns to me, “ah... no, just the one you gave me.”

He looks away but I catch the red on his face. I break into a smile and grip the cart tightly, “I must be special huh?”

“Shut up, you know you are,” he mutters.

I feel my own cheeks burn and I place a hand on my face.

He clears his throat, changing the subject, “I...” he drags out turning back to me, “have always wanted to name my daughter after a flower.”

I turn to him as he explains, “all the people I’ve met with flower names are so sweet and kind, so...”

I simply nod and he looks around frantically. He clears his throat again, “I know I probably won’t get to be a dad though.”

“Hey,” I call, “you never know. You said you were responding well to the chemo.”

He nods, “yeah, but they’ve been saying that for a while and it keeps coming back.” He places a hand on his side, “I barely have a liver left.”

“Well, if you have the energy to annoy me, I think it’ll only be time before cancer calls it quits.”

We make our way deeper into the place, winding into the baking aisle.

He snorts, "I can see why you do this with Kun. You clearly have no idea what you're doing, nor any control for that matter."

"Hey," I say as I get some dark baking chocolate and put it in my cart, "Kun actually encourages me to channel my energy into something productive. Doing the groceries is just that, rather than... say, encouraging someone's implicit suicidal tendencies."

He chuckles, "ouch, you could just say he doesn't like me nor you hanging out with me."

I shake my head and push my cart, "he likes you, Hyuck, he really just doesn't like my sense of humor."

He nods and looks at some of the products on the shelf, "agreeably, you can be pretty dry."

"You know, I would kill you if I knew you weren't already dying."

He makes a challenging face, "ooh, I just hope a Karen hears you and tells you off. That would literally add 10 years to my life."

I watch his playful expression. I casually agree, "let's go look for a Karen then."

Donghyuck and I make it to the other aisle when he realizes what I just said. He was midway in getting a box of corn flakes when he froze. I ignore this for the most part, but then he suddenly speaks up, "don't... don’t do that."

I turn to him and raise my brows. For a moment, I think of playing dumb, but I decide against it, "but I like being around you."

His brows twitch. He places the cereal box back. 

This is the perfect time to note that today was one of the rare days he wasn't wearing a hoodie. He was in a grey shirt with the university logo on it. It was in that split second he wanted to hide his hands in his hoodie pocket, but as he had none, he clenched his fists instead. "We should stop hanging out with each other."

I immediately shake my head, "Sorry no refunds."

Donghyuck expression contorts, "I'm being serious right now." 

"I'm being serious too.” I turn to him, unable to mask the hurt in my face, “I would like to be around you for as long as I can no matter what, okay?"

He shakes his head. He begins to step back, "you don't understand. If you saw my friend who went bald because of the chemo, you wouldn't want to be with me."

"Donghyuck," I call, and walk over to him. He raises a hand, making me stop. I shake my head, "I told you, I want to walk with you... slowly. Please walk with me too."

"But..." he whispers, "you can't fall in love with me... not when I’ve fallen already." The second part of his sentence was too faint for me to distinguish.

I sigh, only having one part of his statement, "you know, at this point, you should know that I have a knack for doing the exact opposite of what I'm told. I think you should ask me with your whole chest to fall in love with you, so that I don't do it."

He grabs my hand and looks me in the eyes, muttering softly, "please fall madly and desperately in love with me too."

My breath hitches. My palms get clammy. My heart races. I am so shocked I nearly don't realize that he said, "too?"

He looks defeated. He releases me and covers his ears. His face begins to redden. He steps back again and he exhales, "I have to go."

He turns about and begins to jog away. I watch in shock but find my legs instantly running after him. A thousand things start playing in my head, but one thing was clear to me, I couldn't let him get away because I knew it wouldn't ever be the same between us if I did.

In my panic, I grab him and lock my arms around his torso. My heart was racing as we froze in the middle of a soup aisle. I started feeling out of breath, "wait, please don't leave me."

He calls my name in desperation.

"Just walk with me, please," I mutter.

He grabs my hands in front of him, "I already tripped and fell."

"Then get up and walk with me... until the end please."

"Excuse me, can you please move," a stern voice from our right calls impatiently. We immediately break away and I make sure to drag Donghyuck to our cart. I find that he was wiping away his tears. I examine his posture, thinking if people had clouds over them, his would be raining.

I note the grumble of the woman who passed us and crack a smile, "see, 10 more years."

Donghyuck wipes his eyes and pipes up softly, "I don't have ten more years."

I grab his hand, urging him to look me in the eye, "Donghyuck."

He releases a breath, "this is why I always wear hoodies. I tried something different cause... you make me want to try new things, but... this sucks..."

"Haechan..."

This makes him turn to me.

He wipes his face with his wrist, “You can probably tell I keep that wrapper because I like you, right?”

“Hyuck, I like-”

“Don’t say that. There’s no point in it when my days are numbered.”

"It's knowing our days are numbered that makes time precious. Just let me be part of whatever time you have left."

I bring my arms around him, glad he doesn’t reject it. I place my hands on his head, "I'll be your hoodie for now, okay?"

He only stands there for a moment, but then he wraps his arms around me and sighs.

A lot of things were going through Donghyuck's head after this happened, and you might be surprised to know most of them lead to Kun. Things between everyone was fairly normal after the supermarket incident, but nothing was directly addressed so there was something just hanging up in the air.

On one of Donghyuck’s treatment, he got to see Rose who had been restricted to a wheelchair and lost all her hair but still smiled from ear to ear.

"Your mom has work today?" Rose asks.

Donghyuck turned to her as she finishes her treatment. She turns her wheelchair to him as he smiles, "yeah, she has an emergency at work."

Rose nods, "my mom has work today too. I'm glad you're here today."

"Me too, Rose."

She was another reason why Donghyuck like flower names.

Rose gasps in excitement, "Oh, I don't think I've ever introduced you my newest boyfriend because you're appointments are usually in the morning and he comes by after his classes."

The nurses laugh at this, not in a mocking way, but in adoration. He nods at the 13 year old, although he knew that she didn't really have a boyfriend and this was most definitely another nurse or the volunteer she thought was cute.

"What the new guy's name?"

"Qian Kun," she smiles softly.

"Kun?" he asks, "does he go to NCIT?"

"He does! Is that your school too? I keep forgetting."

"Yeah, he's actually a friend of mine. We eat lunch together."

She makes a sound, "wah! Consider me jealous, oppa." She pouts.

"Ya, Rose. I was your first boyfriend, why don't you remember I go to NCIT?"

"Sorry oppa," she says, "we already broke up though."

"Still, I'm your first love."

She gives a cute look, "sorry."

The nurses laugh again. The nurse who worked on Rose turns to him, "tough luck, kid."

Donghyuck chuckles then sighs, "are you going to go your new boyfriend today?"

"Yeah. I just have to wait for nurse Minseo to bring me down."

The nurse working on Donghyuck told him he was done with his treatment. Donghyuck stand and shakes his head, "I'll take you."

"Really?" she beams, "yay!"

Donghyuck gently pushes Rose down the hallway. They get into a lift then make their way down. When they reach the hospital's outside garden, Donghyuck is immediately faced with a bunch of teenagers with different sorts of patients. It’s slightly overwhelming for him, since he normally sees the place before dawn when is nearly empty for his appointments. This was the only time his mom was available, so when she wasn't with him, Donghyuck opted to treatment after class. No point in going to the hospital so early.

It doesn't take too long for Rose to pick out her boyfriend. "There," she points and giggles. Donghyuck sees him playing guitar to a group of patients and heads over.

Once they get there, Kun was seemingly singing the last verse of what felt like a Chinese love song. He couldn't actually tell, as he did not speak Chinese.

The crowd applaud. Donghyuck pushes Rose closer to Kun. When Kun notices them, he gives a surprised smile as he stands from the park bench he was sat on, "Hyuck! Rose! Fancy seeing you here together."

"Ya, I’m her first love,” Donghyuck says.

Rose shakes her hand, “you’re my boyfriend now, oppa.”

Kun chuckles, “one of the many.”

“Consider me impressed yet again by your many talents, Qian,” Donghyuck states.

Kun smiles softly and bows, pushing the guitar he had strapped on behind him.

"He's just perfect, isn't he?" Rose swoons.

“Yeah,” Donghyuck says, letting the two of them catch up. He decides to wait for Kun and head back to campus together.

On their walk back, Kun asks, "Now that I think about it, how are you living in a frat house?"

Donghyuck understands what he means, "My parents house isn't actually that far from here, which is why my parents even let me go to college in the first place. And my Aunt's stepson, Yuta, is actually a frat brother. He's also a almost a doctor and my roommate, so I'm his responsibility on top of residency. Fun right?"

Kun watches as Donghyuck kicks a rock, "He has to babysit me all cause I want to experience a normal college life."

"I'm sure he doesn't think of it that way, much like I don't think of you any less of a friend, though I worry for you."

He chuckles dryly, "I don't want anyone to worry about me though."

Kun smiles, "I don't worry for you anymore than I worry for our mutual dark humor loving friend."

Donghyuck feels his breath hitch, "speaking of...” he turns to his shoes, “I've been thinking about her a lot."

Kun nods, "when you hang with her as much as you do, I would be shocked if you didn't."

Donghyuck looks at his fond expression, knowing it was because of her that he looked this way. "You still like her, right?"

Kun turns to him, expression dropping.

"She told me you dated in high school but broke it off because you both thought you worked better as friends."

Kun sighs and chuckles, "Yes."

Donghyuck watches Kun's face. Kun realizes his confusion and clarifies, "I mean yes, it was a mutual decision. You know how she gets, how she acts on impulse from time to time and has no filter. She's just such an adrenaline junkie that I can't keep up." Kun shakes his head and then purses his lips, "and yes too. I... think there will always be a small part of me that likes her. She's my weakness, more because she and I literally grew up with each other, I think."

Kun looks at Donghyuck's deflated expression. He slaps a hand on his shoulder, "but I know she likes you, and I know you know it too, Hyuck, as much as I know you like her back."

Donghyuck chuckles bitterly, thinking this guy truly was truly everything you could ever want to have and be. Kind, understanding, patient, a model of health. No way he could ever match up to Kun.

"It's pointless though. I'm sure you understand that, since you told her to slowly walk with me."

He pulls back, "Dude, I never told her to walk with you. I told her to understand what she was getting herself into. She came to that herself."

Donghyuck knits his brows softly upon hearing that.

Kun chuckles, "do what you must with that information. I'll be here, for both of you."

From DUNGHYUHAHA: do you want to go to a frat party with me?

From DUNGHYUHAHA: also did you change my contact name yet?

To DUNGHYUHAHA: yes and no respectively

From DUNGHYUHAHA: 🙄

From DUNGHYUHAHA: pick you up at 6

I hear a knock on my door. I open it and I see Donghyuck holding flowers and wearing a pink hoodie under a suit jacket. His eyes scan me as he softly says, "Hi."

"Flowers?"

He smiles, "Irises, no chocolate in the middle though. I’m on a budget.”

I chuckle as he hands it to me, “It means hope, as I was hoping to tell you something important tonight."

I smile and get the bouquet from him, "well were you hoping to say it before or after I put these in a vase?"

"During?" he mutters.

I nod and invite him in, "leave your shoes off by the door."

"Yes mom," he says like every other time he's been in my place and taken off his shoes.

I roll my eyes as I give the irises a smell.

"You look really good. Maroon is definitely your color."

I turn to him and raise a brow, "you told me that when I wore grey sweatpants. I'm honestly a little upset I get the same reaction for dolling up in a cute lil dress."

I head to the kitchen of my tiny dorm.

"Trust me, words can't explain how immaculate you look," Donghyuck says as I grab one of my pitchers with left over orange juice and give it a rinse.

I chuckle and feel my cheeks burn, "that's more like it." I place the irises in the pitcher and prop it by the window sill.

Donghyuck's eyes examine the room and he lets out a soft chuckle, "I still don't understand how someone with perfect notes-- color coordinated, lined and bulleted and all, has such a mess of a dorm room."

I point at him and pout, "hey! What's in here," I bring my pointer and middle finger to my temple and tap it, "is far more important than what's" I motion to the general surrounding, "out here. I'm pretty sure I would be go crazy if I didn't do my notes like that."

"I thought you were already crazy though?"

I cross my arms, "I'm starting to think you don't like me."

Donghyuck chuckles and steps forward, "believe me," he pushes me back, "that's the furthest from the truth."

I fumble back and hit the kitchen counter. I make an ungraceful sound on my way. It snaps Donghyuck out of his trance, it seems, as he reaches out to keep me steady, "sorry, sorry. I don't know what got over me."

"Hopefully something good," I mutter.

After a moment passes, Donghyuck looks me in the eye and releases a breath, "Do you still want to try this with me?"

I raise my brows, watching as his soft lips quiver. 

He breathes in deeply then leans in and places a kiss on my lips. It lasts for two seconds before he pulls away to give me an embrace. He crouches down so he could rest his head on my shoulder. His arms around me hold me tightly in place, "I want to walk with you slowly, while holding your hand, while laughing with you, while crying. I want to kiss you. I want to hold you. I want to call you baby. I want to spend the rest of my life with you-" 

The initial shock that prevented me from moving wears off and I finally hug him back. We adjust in the embrace as he whispers, "-no matter how long or short is left."

My lips part and I quietly say, "You might regret that if you end up living to be a hundred."

"A hundred years of torment sounds good as long as its by you."

"Dude, I do not pray for your soul everyday just to have you go to hell on my watch."

Donghyuck pulls away with a chuckle, "you pray for my soul?"

I nod, "I pray... that if I can't have you for a hundred years, then at least you'll live somewhere you don't ever have to hurt again."

Donghyuck knits his brows at that. I bring my hands up to cup his cheeks, "but to answer question: yes. I want to walk with you. Yes as long as pi."

He smiles, "I'm glad you called me nerd."

"I'm glad you called me nerd."

"... can I kiss you longer this time?"

I nod.

He licks his lips and leans down, pressing his lips on mine. It’s just as thought as I’ve always imagined them to be. My entire body ignites into warmth and electricity. My hands run down his nape and rest by his shoulders. His hands pull me in by my waist.

We savor the warmth between us for a good while. He pushes me back against my counter and bring his hands down my thighs. His hands are burning hot against my exposed skin. He pulls away to mutter, "did I tell you you look so sexy in this dress- in any dress- in anything?"

I kiss him back after scolding, "stop talking." Donghyuck pushes closer to me, bringing me up my counter, finding himself in between my legs. I wrap them around his waist. I begin to nip at his lower lip. He lets out a sound that makes my stomach swirl.

I dig my thumbs into his coat collar and push it down. He readily throws his coat off, then catches my head in his hands.

He pulls away and begins to kiss my neck.

I pant, "my makeup is ruined."

“We’re not going to the party anymore,” he mutters quickly as he sucks on my skin.

I moan and pull him even closer to me, “good.”

Donghyuck brings his hands down by the hem of my skirt. He slowly brings his hands up, making goosebumps form on my skin. I curl my toes up and whisper, "Donghyuck."

He catches his lips in mine again. My hands fiddle with the end of his hoodie. My hands begin to find the bare skin on his torso. His hands skip all the way back up to my waist.

I break away this time to kiss his temple, airily telling him, "I want you to take this off." I pull his hoodie up by its hem gently. Donghyuck doesn't waste time and rips it off of him, throwing it off to the side with his coat. He doesn't really give me an opportunity to bask in his beauty, but I do catch the muscle build of his arms and the firmness of is stomach.

I can't really complain when his lips meet mine again.

We continue like this for a long while. It's nice, but I want more.

"Donghyuck," I say, pulling away, only to have him kiss me again. He hums and pecks at my lips intermittently. I hold his head in my hands, "I want to move to my bedroom."

Again, he leans in to kiss me, then grabs my hand, leading me off into the bedroom. He gets on my bed and pulls me up close to him. In this moment, I see my lipstick was smeared all over his face. He looked dazed and so, so, pretty though. 

I'm sure I looked like a with all the colors on my face smeared around but I really couldn't bring myself to care right now. And it was as if he heard my thought that he suddenly spoke up, “you’re so beautiful.”

My stomach swirls as he kisses my neck quickly. He rests on his knees as I sit down next to him. He brings his hands back to my face and begins kissing my lips again.

We climb up to my bed. I wind up lying on my back. He hovers atop me with his resting by my right.

I push him away and he flutters his eyes open. I whisper his name again. He pushes my hair back and nods, "yes?"

"Help me take my dress off."

"Baby," he calls, making my stomach drop and burst into butterflies, "I know where this is heading.”

I feel my cheeks burn so I joke, “you don’t have to flex you’ve been with other women before me.”

He sighs in defeat, “You know that’s not what I mean.”

I kiss him again and he breaks away, “we don't have to do anything."

I nibble the inside of my lower lip, "but I want to."

"I still have time, I promise."

He begins to kiss me softly. I kiss him back but then push him off, all the way off, making him topple over on his back. I take this opportunity to climb on top of him, "it's not about time... it's about me wanting you, needing you, now."

Donghyuck lets out a moan as I move on him. He grabs my hips and looks a warning look, "baby please. Don't you want your first time to be more special? I can plan it so it'll be more memorable."

"Anything with you is memorable in and of itself, Hyuck."

Donghyuck groans, "you're really making this hard."

"More ways than one," I squeak softly.

Donghyuck props himself up on elbows then sit up. He adjusts me on his lap and kisses me while his hands work on the zipper of my dress. He pulls it down halfway, "last chance baby. It'll be hard to stop me when I begin to hear you squirm."

I feel myself begin to pulse at his words. He peppers my neck with kisses and wraps his arms around me. I close my eyes and think for a moment, I try to think about the consequences, but all I can really imagine is Donghyuck kissing me like this.

"I'm sure, Hyuck," I whisper by his ear.

Donghyuck immediately pulls away to zip my dress all the way down. He then pulls my dress off over my head. when he digs his fingers into the sides of my cycling shorts I suddenly realize something illusion shattering. I didn't shave absolutely anything. Not my legs, nor my armpits, especially not my-

this was a bad idea.

I try to play it off. It was pretty dark in my room anyway since we didn't put the lights on. Donghyuck quickly unhooks my bra and throws it off.

I whine his name out when his hands begin to knead my breasts. My hands dig into my sheets by the side.

He pulls his hands away and pushes me off by my hips, giving me a kiss as he does so. He pulls my shorts down and I feel my heart race. I step out of it and he kisses my thigh before standing up and saying, "Lie down, darlin'."

I do just as he says and feel conscious when he doesn’t take his eyes off me. I wrap my arms around my chest. He chuckles as I watch him as he pulls out his wallet from his pants. "Like what you see?"

I nod, making him laugh. "You know how to boost a man's ego."  

He wasn't molded into pure muscle, but he was beautiful with his bare chest exposed. In this moment, I can faintly spot the scar on his belly. On impulse, I sit up and reach for it. He freezes as he looks down on me.

I still had an arm over my chest when I places a kiss on his skin. He lets out a shakey breath and brushes my hair back. “I got it,” he calls, showing me a packet out. He places it in between his lips and I sink back down when I  hear him work on his pants. My eyes wander away as I note, “you just have that with you?”

He chuckles again. I feel my face burn and I cover my face. I hear a wrapper opening then the quiet of my room. 

“Some people say it’s good luck. I’m just trying to cash in as much luck I can get.”

The bed then dips and Donghyuck grabs my legs, hovering in between them. He rests his stomach on my pelvis. I jolt up and squeal when I feel his belly vibrate against my core when he laughs another time. He pulls my hands away from my face, "I think you're past the point of being shy, no?"

"I should have never told you I haven't had sex before."

He chuckles again and I whine, “I don’t really know where that’s coming from, but okay.”

“You just look so smug!”

"Because you’re so fucking hot. What would change if you hadn’t told me anyway. I can clearly tell from the way you react to me.”

I don't really have time to respond when he suddenly behinds moving down. My heart practically stops, and I grab onto his shoulders, "don't go down there."

"Is it haunted?"

"I didn't shave."

"Neither did I, and you don't seem concerned."

"I didn't look."

He laughs again, "I know you didn't, but even after telling you, you still want to fuck me."

I punch his shoulder, "don't say it like that."

He laughs even louder, "sorry, sweetheart, I mean make love."

He examines my nervous look and kisses my jaw, “I don’t know if this will help, but none of the women I did it with didn’t shave either.”

I catch his eyes and find myself relaxing a bit, “how many women did you do it with though?”

“Really? Now?”

“I take statistics! The numbers never lie.”

He rolls his eyes, “well let me go into detail then. My first time was with my first love and I had two girlfriends after that, so it would be 4 if you let me finish.”

I turn away from him to compute the average of this, if you take into consideration the general popu-- I yelp when he begins to move down again. I wrap my legs around him tightly and grab his face, "Donghyuck, please!"

"Cutie, don't worry about hair, okay? Everything about you is beautiful and I'm so fucking hard right now, you don't even know," he kisses my chin, "I can feel you pulsing and I really want to make you scream my name the right way."

"Donghyuck..."

He shushes me, "just say my name when I make you feel good, okay? No more protesting. And actually, try not to be so loud.”

Without another seconds notice, I gasp and Donghyuck is right in between my thighs. My heart is racing. He pulls my underwear off and I try to close my legs, which honestly was just smushing his face.

He chuckles and places either of his hands on my thighs and pushes them away. I cover my mouth with both my hands. He speaks up, "remember what we talked about, honey."

He places his tongue on my core and I groan onto my hands. Him chuckling against me was only making my reactions worse. Donghyuck reaches for my wrist then pulls my hand away, "come on baby, don't be shy."

He pulls my hands away from my face and I humor him but still do my best to suppress my noises as he kisses me. I can't help but writhe and squeak and Donghyuck can't help but feel so smug.

"I can't tell if you like it if you don't say my name."

I whine out his name

The hot breath of his chuckle hits me, making goosebumps form, "Atta girl."

From this point on, I do nothing but squirm and call his name out. His tongue begins to move inside of me and I begin to feel like I'm about to explode. I want to call for mercy, but I can't seem to form coherences anymore.

His lips begin to move outward, back to my thighs. He begins nibbling on my flesh. I catch my breath. He then climbs back up, and meets me little over eye level. He grinds my hips on mine, making me yelp all over again. I pull at my sheets. With his arms on both my sides, he remains propped up and smirks, "you're so adorable."

"Donghyuck."

He kisses the crown on my head, "wrap your arms around me."

I do just that and he shifts his weight atop me. He groans when I dig my fingers into his skin. He then adjusts himself between my legs and kisses my jaw. He lifts himself up by his knees and pushes into me. I let out a broken sound and he moans against my neck. His hot breath was trying to burn me.

"Does it hurt?"

I breathe in and out, "It feels big."

He nibbles my skin, "thanks, but does it hurt?"

"A little bit, I’m not really sure. I mostly feel stretched out."

He chuckles again and I moan out, instantly making him moan too.

"Fuck, you feel so good."

I whine and nip on his ear lobe, "are you going to move?"

"So impatient," he teases, "in a minute, I just want to keep you safe and comfortable."

"I know," I kiss his cheek.

When he begins to move, it feels like we were slipping out of time. Goodness knows how long he bucked his hips back and forth until we reached a comfortable rhythm.

Donghyuck sheds his teasing nature and begins to match my unintelligible sounds at some point. He did find time to call my name out in the same way I manage to call out his.

I begin to feel my feet tingling and my stomach tightening. For a moment I feel like he could do absolutely anything to me and I would like it. He could spit in my mouth or tear me in half and I would thank him. I call his name out over and over again. The lewd sound in the air was drowned out to my ears by the noises that came out of my mouth.

I couldn't hold in my moans at this point even if I tried.

Donghyuck began to pick up the pace.

My breathing began to get ragged. Donghyuck’s hand on my thighs began to tighten. My fingers dig deeper into his back. His teeth were digging into my neck.

The tension between us is climbing so high. Then suddenly it just burns up and bursts into a million pieces.

Donghyuck works on the moment for as long as he can before ultimately going down as limp as me.

We both catch our breath. Donghyuck moans as he kisses my neck. Neither of us move for a long while and I enjoy the feeling of his weight on top of me.

With his chest pressed up against me, I felt so nice and snug, fully in bliss.

I now understood everyone wrote about sex.

I whine when he moves off me. Suddenly I feel so bare and empty. "Don't worry your pretty little head, I'm still here. Good job."

"I don't feel like moving," I say, making Hyuck nuzzle up against me and kiss my cheeks, "I know baby girl and as sexy as you look like that, I don’t think you’d appreciate the consequences of sleeping with makeup."

My eyelids are heavy but Donghyuck’s urging tone gives me the strength to make my way out of the bed and to the bathroom. It feels like how you feel walking after you got off a rollercoaster or a boat, familiar but also not at all.

I wash my face and brush my teeth. I suddenly feel the urge to pee, and when I do, feeling the stickiness in between my legs, this haze over my head evaporates and I realize I just had sex with my... friend.

I wash up and squeal when I hear Donghyuck say, “I managed to change you bedsheet in your minefield.”

It doesn’t even occur to me why he did that, “Donghyuck! A little privacy.”

I full on breaks into a laugh, “I was just inside of you.”

“HYUCK!”

He laughs and raises an arm defensively, “Alright.” He opens the sink, “I was the one that stripped you naked, remember?” I grumble and run back into the bedroom to hide under my covers.

Donghyuck soon comes running after, “JAGIYAAAAAAAA.”

I don’t respond to him and he laughs as he makes his way next to me. He literally jumps into my bed, really falling off. I gasp in concern, “you moron!”

He chuckles and turns to me, “I’m okayyyy!”

He gets under the blankets and snuggles close to me, muttering, “we have to sleep really close together cause your bed is super small.”

“Like your brain.”

“But not my dick, huh?”

I make a disgusted sound and begin to elbow him. He wheezes in amusement and grabs my arms, pressing me down, “Okay! Okay. I’ll stop.”

He presses his chest against my back, keeping a safe space between our lower bodies. He moves rubs his head against be affectionately and squeezes me against him, “you did enjoy it, right?”

I scoff, “you’re already cocky as it is.”

He laughs obnoxiously, “you do know what that insinuates right? But you gotta stop being shy eventually so I know what you like. I gotta make sure I die knowing I’m the best you ever had.”

“Hyuck-”

“Okay sorry,” he kisses, “go to sleep. We can talk about this next time.”

“Bold of you to assume I’d do this with you again.”

He forfeits the laugh and kisses me, “I can show you how persuasive I can be.”

The next day as I blink my eyes open, sunlight barely meets it. I breathe in and stretch, whipping my head to my left side when I don't feel Donghyuck next to me. I shift from under the blanket, seeing Donghyuck was sitting on the side of the bed blocking most of the view of my window. He seemed to be still fully stripped naked judging by the bareness of his back. I remember digging my fingers in his skin, but it seems to not been as hard as I thought it was considering how smooth it was.

He had a phone to his ear when he turns over to me when he feels me shift.

He smiles as he replies to whom he was talking too, "no I know, I know."

I smile back at him and whisper, "good morning." I feel my morning breath come out. He brings his phone to the other side of his ear. With his now free left hand, he brushes my hair away and sends me a kiss through the air before turning back around. I reach out to him and draw hearts on his back. His body twists and he lets out a soft sound because of it. I’m rubbing and poking him for fun at this point. He continues replying to whom he had on the line all the while.

Even his back was pretty. He had a straight line separating the left and the right of it and had not a blemish or mole in sight. I bring myself up and rest my cheek on his shoulder, embracing him from behind.

He places a hand on mine and finishes off his conversation, "Yeah. Okay, eomma. I love you too."

He puts his phone down on the desk next to my bed and he turns to meet me, "good morning."

I slap a hand on my mouth, making him stop and pout. I mutter behind my hand, "I haven't brushed my teeth."

Donghyuck makes an annoyed face and pulls my hand away, placing a quick kiss on my lips. He then jolts up and shoves himself back down against me, resting his weight on my body, "oh no! I'm dead cause I kissed you when you had morning breath."

I make a face. As he looks at me, he matches my expression. My lips curve into a smile, "you know I've always wanted to draw on my boyfriend's back."

He smiles softly, then fully flaunts his teeth, "so last night when you were ripping my skin out was your way of asking me to be your boyfriend."

"No, I didn’t leave a mark on your skin," I deadpan, "also, I was just telling you that I imagined connecting freckles on my boyfriend's back and making my own constellation. You don't really have freckles on your back, and that's kind of a problem."

He scowls, "I hate him."

I break into a laugh, "but he's my boyfriend!"

"I want to be your boyfriend!" he whines and lets out an annoying sound, "please don't tell me to plan something. Not now. I'll die if I wait any longer."

I roll my eyes, "please you're so dramatic."

"I have cancer! I'm allowed to dramatize my impending demise."

"Fine," I say, "you can be my boyfriend with your freckle-less back."

Donghyuck purses his lips and clenches his fists, "Yes! I'll grow freckles on my back or tattoo them."

I shake my head, "don't even try. It won't be the same."

He whines, "I'll never stop thinking about your fake boyfriend. Ever."

I snort, "I can put glitter on your back and make my own constellations." He catches my expression and smiles, “I love you.”

I still and smile back, “I love you, Hyuck.”

He leans in for a kiss. I shake my head and giggle. I lightly slap his lips, "I'm going to brush my teeth and shower."

He immediately perks up and grins, "I'm coming with you."

I pull the blankets up cover myself and shake my head profusely, "absolutely not, Hyuck."

He whines like a child and slaps the bed. He brings a leg up to the bed as he turns his body to me, "YaAaA! I wanna shower with you though."

"I'm not ready for you to see me in day light."

He punches the bed, "I saw everything already! I have night vision. I was inside of you."

"HYUCK STOP SAYING THAT!"

“IT”S TRUE THOUGH,” he throws another tantrum, "come on pleassssseeeeee."

"Donghyuck, you don't even have any clothes to change into. Maybe you should take a shower at your place."

He reels back, jaw dropping, "are you kicking me out?"

"I'm not ki-"

"Wah, I can't believe you’re kicking your boyfriend out 10 seconds after saying I love you," he clicks his tongue.

"I'M NOT KICKING YOU OUT! I'm just being rational."

Hyuck shakes his head, "Rational? Says the girl who tried to buy ice cream from a child."

I growl, "I shouldn’t have told you that either! It was an experiment, alright! To see if someone that age could understand the value of money."

"And yet if you hadn't known the kid or her mom, it would just be labeled pedophilia."

I purse my lips, "you know what, I am actually kicking you out."

He strikes his chest with his fist and throws himself back down on me, "remember you’re kicking out someone who's got a life cycle of a butterfly."

My eyes suddenly look for the scar on his stomach. It was a lot bigger than I pictured it in my head. I look away when I begin to look a little lower. I clear my throat and  raise a brow, "if I give you a pass now, I'll keep doing that forever, so you have to keep listening to me."

He raises his upper lips, "how bossy."

"That's sexist."

He sighs, "you're sexy."

"False equivalence."

He sits back up and shakes his head, "fine. I'll shower at my place and run back here. Only cause I am, like, so fucking in love with you I might have heart cancer." 

“Haechan, please.” 

He points and glares at me, "if you kick me out next time, I'm going to cry."

I cant help but bring a hand to my lips and break into a laugh.

"Ya! Am I a joke to you?"

I shake my head and throw myself at him, giving him a hug, "no. You're my full sun."

He smiles, "good."

The next thing I knew I was constantly kissing Donghyuck.

Everything was pretty hazy, since it feels like I get drunk on his lips. We did walk slowly together, holding hands, in the park, in the mall, to class, to lunch, to my dorm, to his frat house. It was pretty good exercise and pretty romantic, all things considered.

We also watched movies almost every night, and did other things on some. What? I mean homework.

We would go to the library together and he would make me do his notes, to which I would both take joy in doing and would be really stressed with.

We had fun like the best of  friends, and kissed like the best of lovers.

Everyday I would wake up and think of something new I wanted to experience with him. Chemistry became dear to me, simply because I could go to class and watch him mess up simple equations in front of me.

It was adorable.

On this particular night as I did my homework with him, Kun, Jaemin and Sana in the big-ass dining table in the Donghyuck's frat house, he looked extremely adorable being so confused with such simple questions. I kept my eyes fixed on his frustrated face. I had my head rested on my hand, elbow on top of my notebook with the homework I finished hours ago.

Kun points to Sana's work and says, "you missed a 2 in your equation."

Sana sighs. Jaemin pouts at her and pets her head, "it's alright. You would have gotten the right answer had you not missed that."

"I can't believe people like this shit," Donghyuck complains. I scan his work and point at his solution, "you're almost there. Y equals what, Hyuck?"

"Y the fuck do I need to learn this?"

"It's fun!"

"Just give me your philosophy homework," he whines.

"No cheating in this household," Kun says as he flips a page of his economics book.

I shake my head at Donghyuck, "I don’t need help. I'm done with all my homework."

"Can you just do my stats. You get high off of this anyway."

"Hyuck."

He whines, "I have one number left!"

"Exactly. And I want you to learn because you have to pass and I can't do your tests too, now can I?"

Donghyuck places his arms in front of him and slams his head on the table, "I hate it here."

I giggle and nuzzle up next to him, "aw, isn't he so cute when he's like this?"

Sana coos at us and nods. Jaemin couldn't care less. Kun makes a face and shakes his head in disapproval, "you've become the very thing you despise."

Jaemin chuckles, "dude has to get laid."

"I'm quite satisfied with my homework, thank you."

Jaemin makes a face, "gross."

It's funny how high you can get and how fast you can fall.

After my class, I head off the flower shop who's owner I came to know as Mrs. Park. I dropped by pretty often that I could say she was becoming somewhat of a friend.

I make my way to St. John's and get to room 304. Mr. Lee is standing outside the room, using his phone. I grip the strap of my backpack. "Hi," I call and wave with my available hand, "good evening, uncle."

He turn to me and then the flowers I had in hand, "good evening sweetheart." He places a gentle hand on my shoulder, "Donghyuck told me not to let you in again."

I sigh.

"You can go in, though he fell asleep I think. His mom and I are just going to get some food, okay?"

I nod and smile, "I'll be here."

"You can wake him up if you like."

I shake my head, "I'll just leave the flowers and go home."

He nods, "okay, stay safe, dear."

Once he leaves, I quietly enter the hospital room and close the door behind me. I walk by his bed, looking at his sleeping form and go to the table next him. I take the roses I left last time and replace it with the irises I bought.

"You're so unoriginal," a soft voice comes from the hospital bed.

I purse my lips into a soft smile and shake my head, "I ran out of flowers to give you. It's a sign you have to check out soon."

Donghyuck chuckles softly, “Iris is a good baby name no?”

I chuckle, “yeah.” 

I turn to his pale and sullen face. His lips were missing the balm he always put on and looked uncharacteristically chapped because of this. I bring my backpack in front of me and pull out some red lipstick. "Can I do the honors?"

He looks at the cosmetic and sighs, "it's what I get for making you my girlfriend."

I smile and move to the other side of the bed where his drip wasn't stationed. I sit down next to him and put on the red on his lips. Once I'm done, he places his hands by his jaw and smiles softly, "how do I look?"

"Like a supermodel," I say.

He sighs, "had I not had cancer, I'd make Naomi Campbell retire."

I chuckle, "It's not to late. We can still make her quiver in her stilettos."

He shakes his head weakly, "I get too tired. I can barely keep up with you as it is. That's why my tongue is so important."

"Donghyuck."

He puckers his red lips, all pleased, "that's what you say every night."

I shake my head and pull my phone out, quickly stealing pictures of him. His face falls. He immediately reacts and blocks my phone, "come on, we’ve talked about this. No pictures."

"You don't look sick, you look sick."

He shakes his head, "I'm in a hospital gown."

"And you work it like the sex god you are."

He can't help but break into a laugh, no matter how hard he tried to hold it in. "Geez. You are so fake. I'm glad we can't have kids because they'll both be liars and traitors."

His word hit a nerve. Not because of the kids, but because he feels betrayed that his parents won't listen to him when he tells them not to let me visit him while he's here.

He catches my fallen expression. He firmly and coldly states, "I'm not getting you pregnant."

I shake my head, "you should stop making your parents promise to keep me from seeing you."

He scoffs and rolls his eyes, "they never listen to me anyway."

"Donghyuck-" "You see me now don't you?!" he suddenly snaps and gestures his hand up, "look at my face. You want to see this? I don't want you to wake up next to me looking like this."

I keep my silence. I watch as the desperation in his eyes build.

"I told you what the doctors told me. I'm two steps away from organ failure. I could literally die while we're on a date. Do you know how scared I am of doing that to you? Even when we're just walking, I have this shit imbedded at the back of my mind."

"Haechan..."

“I told you. I told you you’d regret joking about it.”

I chuckle bitterly, knowing exactly the joke he mean, “it was funny when I said it.”

“It was,” he hisses, turning away from me, “I'm glad I got to have you, but you don't have to watch me die. It’ll be easier for the both of us this way. You can let go of me now."

My eyes immediately water when I speak, "you want to let go of me?"

"Fuck no," he whispers, "I don't have enough strength to do that."

"Then please don't drive me away," I reply. 

Tears burn down my face, but I'm only concerned about the ones burning down his. I wipe his face and bite the inside of my lip to keep my silence. I pull my hands away and grab his in mine, "I still want to walk with you."

He sighs and grips my hands back. He finally meets my eyes, "you're gonna have to push my wheelchair to the cemetery."

His analogy hurts, but I still nod, "okay."

He disagrees, "don't speak so quickly."

"I swear, I'm not."

He brings his hands to my cheeks, wiping my tears away with his thumb.

“If you have something in the back of your head, I do too, so let’s just...” I lick my lips, “put on some red lipstick and send memes to Kun okay?”

He releases a sigh, "okay, nerd."

I choke on my tears. I release a breath to calm myself down and reply, "okay, Haechan."

To everyone’s joy and relief, he was well enough to leave the hospital to take his finals. I have never been so happy on an exam day.

Kun and I had breakfast together then went to our shared exam room. It my happiness, I skipped on our way and held Kun’s hand, swinging it back and forth. I swore I heard someone mumbling something about wanting to blow us up for PDA so early in the morning or something along those lines.

I couldn't care less though, cause I was really happy today and nothing was going to change that.

"Are you sure Donghyuck has a drivers license?" Kun asks for the nth time. He pulls on my arm, ceasing its motion and I turn to him to make a face, "yes, mom. He even sent me a picture of it and it isn't expired."

He lets out a breath, "you could have lead with that."

"I didn't know you would be that worried about it."

"I'm offended. You of all people should know I never stop worrying. You’re the reason why I’m like this, with that mud pie incident."

“It’s not my fault I thought mud pies turned into actual pies! That’s literally on everyone else before me. I was a troll child back then! With a troll mind.”

Kun scoffs, “you were though.”

"I just said I was,” I raise my hand and flash him a face, “is that why you died your hair platinum blonde? To hide all the white hairs that sprung up on your cranium."

"You know, for once, you're actually right."

I halt my skipping, "wait seriously."

Kun's eyes wander, "at least I'm not going bald."

"Hey! Haechan doesn't have hair loss."

Kun whips his head to me, "I wasn't talking about Haechan."

I snort, "I know, loser."

Right after our exam, Kun and I made our way out of building and I immediately spotted Donghyuck leaning against a sleek black car in a army green hoodie and shades.

Kun raises his brows, "wow, he's got a Benz?"

"Borrowed. It’s his cousin's grad gift."

"Oh? The doctor one? Dang, they rich-rich."

I wave at Donghyuck who had his hood on and he waves back. Kun waves at him too, then I wave at Kun, "bye babez."

"Bye babez," he replies as I run over to Donghyuck.

I immediately wrap my arms around him and giggle in his arms, "hi baby."

"Hey sexy," he says, kissing me on the head. He brings his arms around me, sealing me into a long, warm embrace. 

Once we pull away, he brings his hands in front of me, revealing a bouquet of flowers. I coo at them as he says, "I figured I'd get even with you."

I get the flowers from him and smell the vibrant bouquet of pink, yellow and blue, smiling ear to ear.

"To you, I offer eternity," he says, making me chuckle when I turn to him, "how cheesy."

"Hey, I didn't make the meanings up. Some person saw primroses and said, 'oh, you know what, this means eternal love'."

I shake my head, "still corny though.”

“You’re corny.”

“Thanks, that means a lot, coming from you.”

"Well," Donghyuck asks, "you ready to go for a drive?"

I nod and wave my flowers around, up in the air, "I'm so excited to go to a drive through."

He groans in disgust, "drive through? Babe, I was planning to go to a cute restaurant but you want fast food?"

"We can go to a drive through and a cute restaurant."

He rolls his eyes and moves to pull the door open for me, "as if I don't have enough medical bills to pay."

"I'll pay for the food!"

He gives me a look, "there was no way you weren't gonna."

Much to his displeasure, I get so sidetracked with every place we passed by we barely get to follow the itinerary he had planned for the day. He continuously attempts to get us back on track, but we do not reach the park he wanted to get to before the sunset to get to watch it.

Instead, we sit on the hood of Yuta's car and eat some hamburgers and fries, looking at the stars, failing to find any of the many constellations.

"I give up," he mutters, ripping his eyes away from the guide he had on his screen, flipping his phone back looking at the wrapper still on his phone case. He dumbly blurts, “is that Harry Styles? ♩ Watermelon sugar high ♩.”

What the- I give him a look, “are you high?”

“♩ Watermelon sugar high ♩” 

I block his face with my phone and examine the star chart on it. He sips on his drink then says, "you're looking at an astrology chart, by the way, not an astronomy chart."

"I mean, technically, they're one in the same, since they base their stuff up on the same stars."

"Yeah, except I hate astrology. Like, don't say you're a libra, just say you're a fucking idiot."

"Seems like a philosophy thing."

Donghyuck raises a brow, "you talk to other philosophy students?"

"Dummy, I knew Jaemin personally before you."

"Oh. Well, carry on then."

I snort, "but imagine if libras are actually the dumb ones though, and you got it right."

He pulls away the drink he was supposed to sip on, "we are not going to talk about this anymore."

"Okay," I eat a french fry and some burger, "what do you want to talk about then?"

"Hmm. I promised not to, but I still kinda want to fuck you in my cousin's car."

I nearly choke on my food. Donghyuck bursts out laughing. I turn to him and glare. I continue chewing the burger I had in my mouth and look for a tissue. I find one on Dongyuk's lap and blow my nose on it, "I think a pickle went up my nose."

Donghyuck laughs even harder, falling back on the windshield.

I shake my head, "why is this so funny to you?"

He catches his breath and wipes his tears, "I dunno. It's cute you think I don't think about eating you out every time you're near me."

I shove his side, "shut up."

He whines yet still manages to continue laughing, "my liver."

"Quit being dramatic," I say, crumpling up the tissue I used and throwing it at him. I then pick it back up and place it in the plastic bag of trash we had.

His laughter dies down but his whining continues. After a moment, he sits back up and I realize he wasn't joking. I shift to face him, "Donghyuck."

I shakes his head and raises a hand, "I'm fine. It happens when you have liver cancer."

"Do you want to go home?"

He lets out an airy breath, "no, I don't want to fuck you where all the frat boys can hear and jerk off to your moans."

"Donghyuck , I'm being serious."

"I'm being serious too! I heard them talk about this before. It's disgusting."

I grip his wrist and squeeze it, "Donghyuck ."

He lets out a breath and kisses my nose, "I promise I'm good. It's a side effect of the chemo. I'll take this rather than lose my hair, for you, so you can say your hot boyfriend has good hair."

I frown and nod.

He places an arm on my shoulders when I don’t respond to his words the way he wants me to, "I'm sorry for killing the mood."

He pulls me close. I shake my head and place my cheek on his chest. I bring my hand to his collarbone. I begin to fiddle with the string of his hoodie. I kiss his neck and mumble, "... we can fuck in my dorm."

He pulls back and blinks. He weighs the sincerity in my words then blurts, "get in the car."

I'm not really one to play favorites, because I normally black out when people ask me what my favorite thing is, but if you were to ask me what my favorite memory was, it would be this:

"KUN YOU'RE A LITTLE BITCH!" Donghyuck screams as he video calls the said bitch.

"HOW IS IT MY FAULT IT'S STORMING!" Kun screams back from the other side of the screen. Well, unlike Donghyuck who was actually screaming with his whole chest, Kun was whisper-yelling against the speaker of his phone.

Jaemin bends his knees up and down as he looked at the table, "I'm gonna tell him. I'm gonna tell him. I’m gonna tell him." Sana beside him shakes her head, "nooo, we still have to surprise Kun.”

"But I Sana, I want cake," Jaemin whines.

Sana kisses his cheek, "I know. But you know how much cake you already steal from Kun when he makes some.”

Jaemin whines at his girlfriends sense, “Finnnnee.”

Donghyuck whines, "It's on you for volunteering on your birthday."

"It's not my fault I like following schedules!"

"IT IS THOUGH!" Donghyuck screams again.

I mutter to Hyuck, "we should just tell him."

Donghyuck turns to me, "no, he has to see it himself."

"He might be stranded in the hospital all night at this rate."

Jaemin hears this and screams, "NO!"

Kun's voice chimes in, "Wait, did everyone break into my room with you?"

I grab Donghyuck’s phone and yell, "Surprise! We-" there is a chorus of screams when thunder strikes and the lights flicker.

Donghyuck comes up next to me, "oh shit, the call might cut off."

I turn to the screen and see Kun turn on and off his camera. I shake my head, "ha, ha, very funny Kun."

He mutes and unmutes himself, pretending to get cut off.

"We should have never thrown a surprise party for you!" Jaemin screamed.

Kun unmutes and opens his camera, "I never asked you to do that anyway!"

Jaemin bursts back, "well, sorry for being a good friend then! I'm eating this cake I bought for you and no one can stop me. I'm changing the ownership back to me!"

“Dude,” Donghyuck warns, “step away from the cake. Think of how happy Kun will be when he sees his favorite flavor.”

Jaemin’s face contorts, “how can happiness be real when EVERYTHING we feel are just chemicals in our,” he slams his pointer to his head, “brain?”

“How can ANYTHING be real when we only PERCIEVE THE WORLD FOR WHAT WE ARE AND NOT FOR WHAT IT IS?”

Sana and I turn to each other and begin to panic. Sana grabs Jaemin, “Nana, please-” “HOW ARE WE EVEN SURE WE’RE REAL WHEN WE COULD BE IN A FUCKING MATRIX AND NO ONE WOULD EVEN KNOW,” Jaemin screans, loosing breath.

I flip Donghyuck’s phone over and show him the wrapper, “look! It’s a watermelon.” Donghyuck pushes me aside and raises a finger, “WHAT THE FUCK ARE NUMBERS?”

Kun screams with a lot of feedback, "I’M STILL RIGHT HERE!”

I flip the phone back and smile at Kun. He was shaking his head, “you guys are a bunch of idiots, and regretfully your my idiots."

"Oh my gosh, Kun just confessed to us," I say in a high pitched squeal.

Kun laughs, "Just go and eat the cake to stop this mayhem. Leave me a slice. I'll hang up the call now."

Donghyuck grabs his phone back, "no, no, no, no. No one's hanging up."

And so Donghyuck set up his phone by the table and we celebrated Kun's birthday without him while it stormed outside.

I took it upon myself to tell the gang all of the embarrassing Kun stories I had, knowing he had no way to stop me. Of course he threatened to disconnect the call, but we all knew he wasn't going to do that.

Donghyuck stands from his seat and brings a forkful of cake to the screen, "aah."

Kun brings his phone into his mouth and then pulls back to his face with a smile.

I shout in protest, "EWWW CANCELLED."

Kun quicky barks, "Cancel your boyfriend first for being so tacky and gross."

"My boyfriend is cute! Unlike some people."

Jaemin, on his third slice, cheers and shakes his hand as if it hurt. He raises his arm while still holding a fork and cheers, "someone just got burnt with the truth."

"Can it, Jaemin."

Donghyuck sits back down, "if you have some gum with you, you can chew it and pretend you're eating chocolate cake."

Kun shakes his head, "how thoughtful, but I," a crack of thunder sounds in Kun's area, making him stop and turn to the window behind him. He continues, "don't have any gum."

After feasting on some cake, the four of us have a dance party, which starts with us laughing our asses off because of our horrible twerking and generally horrible dance moves, and ends with us slow dancing and falling asleep on the couch.

Kun ends the call a little before that because the rain had finally stopped.

When he got back to his dorm, he finds us sleeping on his bed. He put blankets over Jaemin and Sana and he sacrificed his own blanket for Donghyuck and- "you're finally here."

Kun looks at Donghyuck's groggy face and nods, "yeah. Go back to sleep."

"No wait," he whispers and shifts slightly in his spot, careful not to wake up anyone. "I have to tell you something."

Kun hums.

"You know how people write letters for the dead even though they can't hear it. Well, this almost dead man wrote a letter for his loved ones and that includes you. It's on the table."

Kun goes to the table and looks for the said letter.

"It's in a white envelope."

Kun spots it and grabs it soon after.

"You don't have to read it now, but I will tell you it's mostly what you may think it is: a thank you for being my friend, a good bye," he says, making Kun tear up and turn away from him.

Donghyuck frowns, "sorry for dampening your birthday mood. I just had to talk about that one favor I asked for in the letter."

Kun releases a shaky breath. Donghyuck continues, "I know you're supposed to give to the celebrant and not ask for something, but I feel like I'm about to Usain Bolt to the finish line real soon."

"Hyuck... don't worry about it. Just tell me."

When Kun looks back at his friend, he finds he's crying. Donghyuck sniffles then lets out a breath to calm himself. He takes a moment before saying, "please don't resent me for having her."

Kun is shocked by his words. He furrows his brows at the idea his friend could think that about him. Donghyuck heaves for a moment then licks the salt on his lips. He wipes his face, "don't resent me when she cries about me, cause I know you can't resent her."

"Donghyuck..."

"I know I sound crazy and stupid," he laughs in between his tears, "and I swear I'm not in love with you or anything, but you've been one of the realest friends I've had in a long time." He wipes his face again, "and the idea of you resenting me when I’m gone eats me up inside. I don't want you to hate me for hurting her, or for hurting you when I'm gone."

"Hyuk, I won't resent you, I promise."

Donghyuck raises a pinkie, "Promise?"

Kun breaks into a sad smile and wraps his pinkie around his, "promise."

Donghyuck releases a breath, "take care of her, okay?"

"Always."

And even though I heard every bit of their conversation, fighting back tears so not to expose myself, even though it was so bittersweet, it's still my favorite memory.

I never got to share another subject with Hyuck the next term, mostly because he never got to enroll as he checked in St. John's indefinitely.

I try not to think about how hard it was to visit him everyday, knowing well that each time could be the last. I didn't want to say it was torture, because I truly still felt that every day with him was a precious blessing.

I was copying Kun's homework when he woke up. I had a chair by the side of his hospital bed and I was using his mattress as my table.

"I told my mom not to let you in," he says, turning to his mom was was sitting on the couch in front of him.

I turn from my notes to Donghyuck 's sunken face.

His mom turns from her phone to his son and shakes her head, "I can't promise something so cruel, Heachan."

Unlike last the time he was confined, when he only looked like he had lost the color in his skin, he looked different. He lost a weight, the roundness of his cheeks disappeared, because refused to have IV fluid poked into him any longer. He still ate meals every hour, but he didn’t have much of an appetite.

The playful gleam in his eyes were faded. I tried to reignite it sometimes by cracking a joke or two, but he found it hard to smile... or to even look at me, as he admitted some days ago.

I turn to him and crack as smile, "it's the consequence for wanting to be my boyfriend so bad."

He doesn't respond to that and instead had his eyes focused on my notes. I turn to my notes as well then turn back to him, "It's advanced calculus. Gross right?"

He doesn't chuckle, "you're not highlighting?"

When he looks at me, I turn back to my notes and realize he was right. My mistake was playing it off, "I'm trying something new."

He doesn't like that, "don't say that."

I turn away from him when I feel tears prick in the corner of my eyes. I feel his cool hand grab mine. He seems to push my notebook away or something. I scratch my tears away and turn back to him. He leans in and I meet him halfway, standing from where I sat and pressing my lips on his cool ones.

His mom had already turned the air conditioning off, but he was still cold. I break away and pull the blankets on him up. He grabs my hand again and mutters, "I'll come back to you a healthy man, and finish college so we can get married and have healthy babies."

I hear his mom gasp.

The tears glassing my eyes blurred my vision. I blinked them away so I could see him better. My tears fall down to his blanket. I nod, "I'll wait."

He shakes his head, "not in this lifetime, okay?"

I let out a cry and bite my lip to shut myself up.

He wipes my tears and turns to his mom, "Is dad coming back soon?"

"Yes," his mom dashes to his side, "he's coming back with lunch any moment now."

He nods, "good. I want to tell him how much I love him."

His mom full on weeps now. Donghyuck grabs her hand and smiles at her, "I'm sorry I'm making you cry."

His mother shakes her head in disagreement.

"Thank you for giving birth to me and taking care of me even though I'm an adult."

She grabs her son's face and kisses it all around, "of course, baby. You're my only baby, and you will always be my baby."

Just then, his dad walks in with a plastic bag of food. Donghyuck's mother turns to him and calls his name. He immediately puts the food down and runs to his wife.

Donghyuck lets go of my hand and reaches out for his dad, "hi dad."

He takes his son's hand. "Hi son," his voice breaks and tears immediately stream down his eyes.

Donghyuck frowns, "I'm sorry I couldn't step up to be the man of the house."

He shakes his head, "you've always been the man of the house, son. You taught me a lot of things while you grew up."

Donghyuck pulls away and sighs, "I would have been a great dad, don't you think?" Hyuck turns to me then back to his dad. I immediately grab his hand again. He grips me back

"Better than your foolish old man."

"Ya," Donghyuck whispers, "I passed the hardest exam in the country. I get that from you."

For a brief moment, the three of us muffle our tears as Donghyuck relaxes his head and cries. His mother wipes his tears away.

Hyuck closes his eyes, "I'm sorry. I'm just so tired."

"It's okay baby. You can rest now. No more chemo. No more pain."

"That sounds nice," he exhales, “I’m glad won’t be buried bald.” 

No one reacts.

He chuckles, “Too soon? Sorry. Bad habit.” He opens his eyes one last time and smiles, "it would probably be to stupid to ask you all to smile for me one last time, right?"

We all break into bitter laughs and smile at him the best we could.

He smiles back and looks at each of us, "I love you, mom. I love you, dad. I love you, baby."

We all say I love yous back and he closes his eyes. It isn't long before his grip in my hand loosens.

His mother begins to wail.

I turn to his hand and suddenly resent the sight of my notes in front of me. When some tears drop on the open page, I choke on my heart, seeing that Donghyuck managed to write I love you in the middle of my statistics notes.

"That's about it," I say to the girl who still had her head on my lap. I ask her, "did you like the story, Poppy?"

"It's so sad," she cries out. I turn to her not realizing she was scratching tears away from her face. I immediately pick her up and bring her into my arms, "aw, my baby girl, I didn't know you were crying."

She cries on my shoulder and I rub her back, trying to soothe her.

I see Kun from inside. He locks eyes with me, raising a brow accusingly as he points and mouths, "is that Poppy?" I give him a knowing look and he then makes his way out to the backyard. He shakes his head in disapproval, "and here I thought your days of hating children had ended."

I turn to him as he sits down, “Do you think I chose to have kids with you if it hadn’t?”

He sighs and pouts, holding Poppy's little hand, "why are you crying, sweetheart?"

When she doesn’t respond, I answer, "I told her about Donghyuck."

Kun's face of worry contorts into sadness, "oh."

Poppy begins to call out, "eomma!"

"Dear lord, did you make her cry?" Jaemin calls when he sees us. The girl immediately recognizes the voice and turns to run to her father, "appa!"

Jaemin picks up his daughter and coddles her, "why are you crying, huh? Did auntie hurt you? Should I teach her a lesson?"

She shakes her head, "It's so sad."

"What's sad?"

"Your friend Donghyuck. He died like Chichi." Chichi was their dog who she had grown up with.

Jaemin turns from his daughter, me, then back to his daughter, "Ah, it is sad, isn't it? I cried to when it happened, the way I cried when Chichi died. They were both were hurt. Now they’re together somewhere beautiful and are playing fetch!"

"Appa, I don't want to get sick, or you, or eomma."

"Eomma?" Sana repeats as she makes her way to her husband and daughter. She places a hand on her pregnant belly as he daughter continues to cry. She pouts the cute way she always does, “is my strong girl crying? Did you get hurt?”

She quickly calms her daughter down my making faces and tickling her. It isn’t long after that Poppy eventually breaks into a laugh.

Kun and I watch the parents in astonishment, "they're good."

"Dude, I don't think we could ever do that."

Kun raises a brow, "Hey, we're gonna be great parents." He says placing a hand on my otherwise flat stomach, “we kinda don’t have a choice.”

I shake my head, "maybe you will be, but I don't know about me."

"Ya, like I said, I’ll be here for you, both of you, alright?"

I finally break my gaze away from Jaemin and Sana and turn back to Kun, giving him a peck on his lips. He pulls me into a quick embrace and stands, “come on, I have something to show you.”

Kun leads me inside the restaurant and brings me to a bulletin board with seemingly endless pictures and notes stuck on them. He points at a picture by the top of the board, “can you tell me who that is?”

I cover my mouth and instantly feel tears run down my face.

Kun chuckles softly and pulls me in close, kissing me on the cheek, “you told me you haven’t been here before.”

“I told that to Haechan too,” I mutter, “oh gosh. I had completely forgotten about it.”  I lean in to the picture, “look at how young I look.”

Kun laughs, “you’re acting like you’re 80.”

“WIth all the stress you put on my back, I feel like I am.”

Kun snorts, combing my hair and kissing my neck, “I won’t apologize for doing a good job, babe.”

We hear someone call for all the guests to come over, as Sana and Jaemin will finally be announcing what everyone came here for. We join the rest of the people in the party as Jaemin gets taught by a restaurant employee how to pop the party poppers.

We make a face at Jaemin’s confused face.

Kun shakes his head and whispers in my ear, “moron.” I laugh as Kun calls, “ask it the meaning of life?”

Jaemin gives Kun a knowing look as he brings the party popper close to his face, “YA! DON’T MESS THIS UP FOR ME!”

Everyone laughs, Sana especially practically beams.

We count down:

3

2

1

Jaemin turns to his wife, “ready?”

Sana nods and covers her ears, lips still curved into a smile.

Jaemin pops the confetti and a wave of pink bursts into the air. Sana giggles as she removes her hands from her ears and places her palms on her husband's face, giving him a kiss.

Jaemin picks up her daughter and bring her close to her mom, "you're going to have a sister!"

Poppy cheers, "YAY!!!!"

Kun and I cheer. Kun kisses my cheek, “that’s gonna be us soon.”

I turn to him and make a face, ”ew.”

He shakes his head and gives me another kiss.

[reidsnose]

Black Eye

overview: reader and spencer go to reader's highschool reunion as a fake couple

genre: fluff i think

warnings: mild violence and swearing, a guy being kind of a total creep, and mentions of bullying

a/n: idk if its any good again just love the idea but it was inspired by a dream i had last night (thank you temporal lobe) so yeah let me know what yall think !! :) also im posting this at like ass oclock in the morning so whoops

masterlist

-

-

you and spencer had gotten yourselves in quite the situation.

your dreaded highschool reunion was just around the corner and you made the mistake of complaining about it to penelope. she was always trying to make everyones life easier (and more interesting) so when she heard you had no date she took it upon herself to find you one.

it didn't take a lot of looking, none at all actually; because Penelope had already been trying to figure out ways to get you and Reid together.

you two were undeniably perfect for each other. you were an amazing team at work, you hung out alone all the time (though both of you denied these hang out as being dates, Garcia had her own ideas on this), and you were both very obliviously head over heels for each other.

and somehow, through the magical ways of Penelope Garcia, you and Spencer were now sitting in the parking lot, fake married for your high school reunion.

"do we need to go over our back story again?" you worried, looking up at him.

"our backstory is basically all true anyway we just fall in love after a little bit. and i have an eidetic memory so i remember; you're my wife you should know this!" he joked, trying to relax you. "we got this! we're gonna be so married!"

Spencer had actually never been this nervous in his life but he was trying to be brave for you. it would be more embarrassing for you both to show up like nervous wrecks than if you had just come alone. he was just happy to get to be fake married to you.

"the marriedest!" smiled, fist bumping him.

"now lets go make some people jealous!" he chuckled getting out of the car and jogging over to your side, opening your door before you got the chance to; like a true gentleman.

you stuck out your hand which he happily took into his, neither of you commenting on the redness you both had sprinkled across your cheeks. as you walked in, you saw all the people you dreaded seeing.

the boys who tormented you were balding and the girls who made sure you felt awful everyday had wrinkles riddling there skin. you were surrounded by botched botox and bleached blonde to cover graying hair. you felt terrible to admit it, but you were a little happy to see that their beauty had faded like this; they made their looks their whole personality in high school, you couldn't help but wonder what was left for them to be. not that it mattered, but you and Spencer were undeniably the most attractive couple there.

you actually had an ok time, you had spotted a few of your friends that you hadn't seen in quite a few years and it was nice to catch up.

Spencer had wondered a bit, but not too far, he was talking to some guys who used to be in science club when you were younger. you smiled at the thought of what they might be talking about.

"y/n! hey youve really filled out!" you heard a gruff voice from behind you.

you turned around and were met with the very unappealing face of the ex quarterback. Spencers attention had been caught at the sound of your name.

"um..hello," you muttered, trying to covertly back away from him.

"i see youve got a ring, interesting i dont remember us getting married!" he said in an incredibly creepy tone.

"do you know im a federal agent now?" you said through a gritted smile.

spencer had already begun walking towards you, he could tell something was off.

"ill tell you what sweetheart," he put his hand on your shoulder, pulling you slightly closer to him, "you can put me in handcuffs any day."

you threw his hand off of you and drew back your fist, but were cut off before you could deliver the punch but his hand engulfing your own, and squeezing.

"THATS MY WIFE!" spencer yelled in a voice you had never heard from him before.in the blink of an eye he was standing between in front of him. "do not ever talk to her like that, let alone lay a finger on her or so help me God i will-"

"what beanpole? what are you gonna do? what if i did this?" the man asked.

and then he sent a swift punch to Spencer's face.

thats gonna leave a mark.

in a matter of seconds, Spencer had him overpowered, laying face first on the floor with his hands uncomfortably angled behind him, completely helpless.

"now i'm going to let you go and you're going to walk out of here unharmed. if you try anything like that again, ill let my wife handle you. and i promise if she gets a hold of you, you'll be a dead son of a bitch." Spencer muttered in the mans ear, gruffly pulling him up by his collar and shoving him towards the door.

"were leaving." you said, grabbing Spencer's hand, trying to ignore how incredibly attractive he looked right now.

"babe if you want to stay we can stay," he offered as if he didn't just have his shit kicked in by a coward with misogynistic tendencies.

"honey, i want to take you home," you smiled, liking the way it felt to call him a pet name. you walked into the parking lot, "what were you thinking?"

"i was thinking this guy is trying to hurt you and i was not going to ever let that happen." he answered confidently as you two reached the car. "plus this totally made the marriage thing more believable. i wouldn't get a black eye for just anyone."

"thank you. i'm sorry you got punched trying to protect me." you sighed, feeling incredibly awful about the whole thing.

he chuckled, "id do it again."

you fought hard against the blush creeping up your face.

"i gotta say, the black eye really suits you. you look pretty badass." you chuckled, trying to change the subject before it got too sappy and you said something you shouldn't.

"maybe it should just be my new look," he joked, looking down at a ping from his phone. "uh oh."

"we have a case?" you asked.

"yep. and hotch wants us in the office asap which means we cont stop by either of our houses." he sighed before starting the car.

the drive was mostly silent. but a comfortable silence. Spencer thought about how in the moment, he didn't care how many punches the guy threw at him, as long as it meant you were ok, he was willing to take it. he knew he loved you far before that moment but that truly solidified it.

at the same time you were thinking of how quickly your time as a 'married couple' was over. it felt so right to call Spencer yours. so unexplainably perfect for the two of you to be together. if only your time wasn't cut short by a sucker punch.

you neared the building's parking lot. you looked over at Spencer who you could very easily tell was lost in his own world.

"whats going on in that beautiful head of yours?" you asked, causing him to stifle a smile.

"just thinking." he answered.

"what about?"

"us." he stated, pulling into his parking spot.

oh. oh.

"do tell."

he hesitated, "if i tell you, and you disagree, do you promise it wont change anything about us?"

"i promise."

"did it feel right to you? us being together?" he asked, his eyes innocent and filled to the brim with a mixture of anxiety and adoration as he looked at you.

"yes. it absolutely did. and i was so mad at the assclown for cutting our time short," you admitted, "and punching you in the eye, obviously."

"i- i'm not sure how to ask this but- do you...would you..sorry i-" he stammered.

"yes."

you cut him off, pressing your lips to his. his hand gently cupped your face, deepening the kiss and you both felt like you were on cloud nine.

"thats exactly what i was trying to say," he cracked a dopey smile, causing you to chuckle.

"i've been trying to say it for so long." you confessed, causing him to smile impossibly wider, "we gotta go hotch is waiting."

"just one more kiss?" he asked, which you gave in to, obviously. and then another. and another.

maybe it was good thing that he got a black eye that day, because when you got to the office the whole team was so focused on it they didn't even notice the hint of your lipstick left on spencers lips.

-

-

ultra mega super cool taglist:

@mac99martin @imhreid @spencersmagic @hollydaisy23 @raelady1184 @a-broken-pact @padfootswife @hey-there-angels @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos

[yoichichi]

Sitting on Karasuno’s Lap

Karasuno(sep) x reader

warning(s): reader insecurity about size, v slight timeskip spoilers Kageyama being grumpy and stupid and some grammar issues prolly 😬 i think that’s about it but lemme know if you think I need to add anything else!

a/n: got a request for reader being apprehensive about sitting on the boys from karasuno’s lap cause of their size so this is what that is! I hope this comforts u anon ily :(

And lemme say this: all these boys would most definitely love to be smothered and cuddled under their s/o pls they quite literally live for it <3

characters: daichi, sugawara, asahi, tanaka, noya, tsukishima, yamaguchi, kageyama, hinata

Daichi

I really feel like Daichi’s the kind of guy who loves picking up his s/o when they hug

He always does the classic bear hug grip around your midsection and then before you know it he’s squatting a little and lifting you up - ur size does NOT matter, if he can get your feet off the ground even a little he’s cheesing big time

He just thinks it’s so cute when you squeal or laugh and smack his arms, and you always get a hearty laugh out of him after before he grabs your face - kind of aggressively - and is leaving silly slobbery kisses all over it :((((

So basically there’s no way you can escape his infamous hugs

BUT ANYWAYS

Because of this he’d also definitely love for you to sit on his lap too!

And because he’s always lifting you when you least expect it, when you mention why you’d rather not sit on his lap he’d respect your answer and reassure you it’s not a problem,,,, while also kind of being >:( and passive aggressively explain why you most definitely wouldn’t crush him

Now next time he comes home to you, not only is he lifting you, but he’s carrying you to your bedroom to cuddle, and then maybe you’ll sigh and give in to sitting on his lap <3

Suga

He’s generally more of a lay down cuddly or holding hands in public kinda guy

But there was something about sitting down on the couch after work and seeing you come out of the kitchen with a big smile on your face that just made his heart melt and shoot his arms out with grabby hands

Of course you oblige and sit next to him and start playing with his hands, waiting for him to talk about his day, but then he’s looking at you like :( and tugging at the hem of your shirt

“No, I want to cuddle.”

When you look at him confused he groans and tugs you onto his lap with his face buried into your neck, and almost instantly you can feel him relaxing into the couch

As soon as you think he’s relaxed enough, you go to move off him, anxious you’ve been sitting on his lap too long, but when you go to move he grabs on tighter and looks up at you like 🥺

You realize that maybe he’s just fine when he pulls you father into him - if that’s even possible - and starts to drool cause he’s passed out from being so comfy <3

Asahi

It’s pretty common for Asahi to come home from a long day at work and then rest his head on your thighs while you play with his hair and let him talk about your day

It’s something he looks forward to when he’s driving home :(

Being held and comforted by your s/o is absolute heaven to him, so when you walk through the door with a big sigh while you’re rolling your shoulders, his first thought is to return the favor !

The two of you are standing in your living room now with your head in his chest while he’s rubbing your back, periodically kissing the top of your head

“Wanna sit down angel?”

When you agreed you didn’t know that meant sitting on the couch with you straddling his lap, his hand still holding your head in his chest

But before you can protest and squirm away he’s kissing you and humming while he’s still rubbing your back and soothing you :(((

This baby wouldn’t even give you a second to think about your insecurities:(

Tanaka

He’s gonna assume somebody’s said something about you almost immediately

Cause he just can’t grasp that you yourself have decided you’re too big for him

He just kind of looks at you like 🧍🏻🤨 uhhhh sit tf down I’d like you to cuddle me please 🤨?

“Tanaka, I’ll crush you.”

“Yeah, that’s kind of the point babe! Smother me ☺️❣️” really does not get the message here

Once you explicitly tell him you think you’re just too big to sit on his lap he kind of freaks

Like full on grabbing your face and shaking his head trying to do anything to convince you, you most definitely are not too big to sit on his lap

Once he convinces you he’s kissing you everywhere until you giggle cause he hates seeing his baby upset :(

Noya

I’m so sorry but at first he doesn’t even comprehend it’s an insecurity you have and thinks you’re nervous about it because of his size

“Wow, never heard ‘tiny but mighty’ babe?”

Like noya baby pls, this ain’t about you 😭

Is quite literally begging you to sit on his lap at home until you get frustrated and tell him you’re worried you’ll “crush” him because of your size - not his

He’d be kind of caught off guard at first but within seconds he’s reassuring you that’s not something you need to be worried about at all, not with him

Very similar to Yamaguchi he’s gonna convince you to give in and then absolutely smother you with affection afterwards

He’s now made it his goal to change your mindset about your size and add some more positive connotation - baby boy loves you :(

Tsuki

Will not take no for an answer either 😭

AT FIRST HE TAKES IT PERSONAL NGL

LIke he’s sitting there looking at you thinking you’re commenting on his body type like “what, you think I’m built like a string bean so I can’t handle you sitting on my lap 😐.”

AGAIN, this isn’t about you babes

So once you explain to him that no, it’s not about him it’s about you, he just:

“That’s stupid.” LIKE he’s very upset that you feel that way and doesn’t know how to express to you that you aren’t gonna crush him so the only way he knows how to tell you that is that you’re stupid for thinking that way 😭

He’d try to be physically reassuring afterward though

Kissing your forehead and telling you how it makes him sad you think that way, and why don’t you just sit on his lap so he can prove that’s not the case

You’re upset and uncomfortable at first, not really being able to relax, but after some lovin from tsuki and distraction you relax into him and bit and get comfy

He definitely makes it a regular thing so you can feel more comfortable with him :(

Yamaguchi

One of the most reassuring for sure!

The moment he felt your unease or a hint of apprehensiveness at the idea of sitting on his lap he’s investigating

Holding your face in his hands and asking you what’s wrong like 🥺

When you tell him you’re insecure about being too heavy to sit on his lap he’s definitely heartbroken, but knows this isn’t about him

So he’s quickly leaving really light kisses on your cheeks and hands promising you that’s not the case whatsoever all while he’s slowly coaxing you onto his lap

Once he’s gotten you to actually do it he’s all smiley and blushing - he’s smiling so big you can actually feel it when he’s kissing you

“Mmmmm, wanna nap?”

Just overall very affirming and attentive to your feelings :(

Kageyama

If you acted any bit shy or insecure about sitting on his lap he’d be ~so so confused

He’d be home from a long day of practice and flop down on the couch and all he wants is to be smothered by his baby 😭

He’s grumpy and just kind of grunts when you sit down next to him to talk about your day and ask about his and he just kinda reaches out to you and starts grabbing at your hips and you’re like 😳 uh yes?

You wouldn’t be budging and he’d get this pout and be all “sit on my lap 😡 I wanna cuddle”

Him asking for affection so bold like this isn’t always common for him so you don’t wanna say no BUT you’re also insecure about being too heavy so you just kinda pull him towards you and shake your head

“Why don’t you lay on me instead? I’ll play with your hair hmm?”

He’d just kind of look at you like ..... but I want you to lay on me and I can play with your hair

LMAO AND NOW YALL ARE JUST LOOKING AND KIND OF GENTLY TUGGING AT EACH OTHER LIKE 😕

But unsurprisingly the 6’2 beefy professional volleyball player is stronger than you so he just stands up and PICKS you up instead and then carries you to the bedroom where he flops down with you laying on him

At first you’re kind of frustrated and insecure cause you didn’t tell him why you were avoiding it cause you didn’t want to bring it up but then you hear Kageyama sigh and start rubbing your back from his spot underneath you and you soon realize this mf just passed out

Surely if he’s ok with you LAYING on him maybe sitting on his lap next time won’t be so awful

Hinata

Another confused baby but actually realizes somethings wrong 😭

Y’all are having a simple movie night with some pals all cuddled up on the couch and he notices there’s not too much room there, unless you sit on his lap of course, which he obviously likes the idea of

The movies playing so he tugs on your shirt a little to get your attention and whispers to you about sitting on his lap

But instead of happily hopping on like he imagined, you look away and shake your head, mumbling something about paying attention to the movie

There’s people over so he knows now isn’t the right time to pry, but he can also tell when you’re even the tiniest bit upset so he’s not gonna forget to mention something to you later tonight

You two would be getting into bed that night when he’d bring it up

“Hey, did something happen today?”

You’d tell him no but unfortunately for you he doesn’t stop asking different kinds of questions until he gets you to talk about it

When you mention that you’re insecure about being too heavy for those kinds of affection he would get so so sad, like looking at you like this ☹️ nearly tearing up

Cause he just sees it as him not doing his job as your s/o to make you comfortable and happy with him - even if that’s not actually the case

He won’t stop asking always for you to cuddle him like that but he won’t pester if you say no - you will see him get a lil pouty though

——————

I hope you guys enjoyed!!

requests are open ( I miss hq pls feel free to send some in :((()

taglist: @plutowrites @sweet-darling91

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: July 10th

I really let asks get away from me lately. I was super focused on working on that Patreon Moment. With that done I can finally think about doing other things, so here’s a new collection of answers!

Thank you for sending in questions everyone ^^.

For the new Patreon moment, will you be able to reference it in step 4? Or just like a tiny nod to it if you pick certain choices?

There won’t be. I’m sorry if you were hoping for that! The Patreon moment is meant to be entirely optional, it’s not something that gets you extra content in the main game.

Is the new CG artist the main one now? :0 I’ve noticed theres been a difference in the art style recently. Is the old CG artist still going to make art for the game? :0

The original artist still makes CGs for the game sometimes, but he mainly focuses on character sprites.

Are you going to put the NSFW our life moment on a website other than patreon? I would love to get it but I can't use patreon atm.

I don’t know. I'm afraid we can't release the Patreon Moment on a normal game storefront because we can't mix 18+ content with our family friendly game. If there's some other place similar to Patreon where it's not the normal type of full-scale public content releases we'd consider using that, but I’m not sure if there is another site that’s better than Patreon in that regard. I'm sorry.

Out of curiosity, in all of your games so far, which characters in each were the most fun to write? They obviously don't have to be your favorite characters!

Buffalo Seer in AFA, really everyone in XOD/XOBD is pretty equally entertaining to write, The Guide in LoV, and Cove in OL!

idk if you accept "personal" questions, but is there anything you've been watching/ listening to lately

Mostly, I’ve been watching/listening to Authortube videos as of late! It’s people who talk generally about the process of how books become traditionally published and/or share their own experience as they attempt to be published. I don’t have an interest in writing normal text based books, but it’s really interesting to hear about that world. I’m listening to a video about royalties right now as I answer these asks.

Will one of the desserts we get to pick be fudge? That'd be such a cute reference! 

Haha, yeah, it should. Unless I completely blank on it and forget when trying to include the various referential food options.

I don't know if this has been asked previously but what would be the approximate heights for the presets MC can choose from Step 2 ~ 4? Are there any measurement you had in mind? Sorry if I didn't make myself clear kk I've been struggling with my English lately 💀 

I don’t know, ahah. I didn’t have any numbers in mind for that. So it’s whatever you imagine it is!

I noticed a bug with the Patreon moment when it comes to what your character wears. When Jamie and Cove are kissing while my character only had dresses selected, I had both the option to remove the dress or to remove the shirt... Picking one of the options to interact with Cove, after he removed his shirt, it had Jamie remove their shirt followed by ther pants despite only having dresses picked. 

Thank you for reporting ^^

I keep refreshing steam to see when the new doc for xobd will be released. I noticed you haven't posted anything about it in quite some time. Would it be possible to ask about a timeline/potential date? (If it's even this year—) I know you and your team are probably working super hard, I'm just super curious! ~Thank you!~ 

There are more stories done, I just haven’t gotten around to publicly releasing them. Hopefully I will have a chance to spend the time on that sooner rather than later!

hello!! i’m not sure if it’s an update but i’ve just replayed our life and at the end i can’t propose to cove anymore? :(( i’ve actually tried playing twice but the options are not there anymore, did you guys remove the options? i’m sorry if you’ve answered this before!! thank you and have a good one :) 

I’m afraid things haven’t been changed or removed, so I think you might’ve accidentally picked the wrong things somewhere along the way and locked yourself out of being able to propose by mistake. Sometimes you meant to say you want to get married but instead you mis-click and have it so the MC isn’t thinking about marriage or something. All I can suggest is starting from the beginning of Step 3 and making sure to follow the steps listed in the FAQ. I’m sorry for that.

Did yall remove some of the options for when youre making out with Cove in the charity moment? I could've sworn you could grab his bonkadonk and its not there anymore 

This is the same situation as the above. We didn’t remove things and you’re not wrong that there are sometimes those options. But there are various choices you have to make to get those options and it sounds like you accidentally missed something. If your relationship isn’t long-term, you can’t do it for example.

HI IM SO EXCITED I CAN FINALLY GET THE STEP 3 DLC 

Thank you for getting it!

Is Shiloh super totally straight bc I’m very gay and a huge Shiloh fan, would my man make an exception?😩

Sadly, he is one of our super straight characters. I’m sorry.

Hi, I have a very dumb question. In Step 2 does Cove not wanna share his drink with us at the mall (or rather why he stops drinking it) because it's an indirect kiss? Or is it like ...weird to him to share? Because if I remember right he eats off our spoon in the birthday scene right? 

Yeah, he’s awkward about it because he likes the MC and it feels very personal to share a straw with his crush.

Hi! If you don't mind me asking, who is the artist for OL2? Their style is so pretty! 

Thank you for saying so! This is her Twitter- https://twitter.com/redridingheart

Do Beginnings & Always and Now & Forever exist in the same universe? 

Yep! XOXO Droplets also exists in the same universe. It’s one big GB Patch world, haha.

Do Pran's parents regret the way they raised him? Do they feel ashamed of it?

No. They’re the type of people best cut out because they’re not gonna change. Which is why Pran does go very limited contact when he’s an adult.

Hi! I just wrapped up my second playthrough of Our Life, and I absolutely adore it, but I had a question. I went to the gallery and found I was missing 2 CGS (specifically Step 1-3 and 2-3) and I had no clue where they would've shown up. Which moments are those found in? 

You get it by telling Cove about his dad offering you money to be his friend in Step 1 and Step 2. You can’t get both in one playthrough, since you can only tell Cove the truth once. I’m really glad you liked it!

Hi hi! Please, how tall is Baxter and Derek? Love the game so much and I can't wait to see more! 

I don’t know, aha. I think Baxter was around 5′10 and Derek was like 5′8/5′9, maybe. I really am not one who has specific heights for things in mind.

is adult cove a bottom, top, or switch? 

A switch, though would choose the top if he had to pick.

I was wondering if there is a way to transfer save data? Even if through the game files. I wanted to be able to transfer my save data from my desktop over to my laptop so that I could continue playing right where I left off from but I'm not entirely sure how to go about that. 

If you save the save folder/persistent data of the game from your desktop and put it into the game folder on your other device, that could work.

Hi! Is it possible for us to know the date when our life: now and forever comes out on steam? Sorry if you've mentioned it before but I haven't seen it and I'm looking foward to that happening and just wanted to know :) 

It’s gonna be a long time, I’m afraid. There’s no estimate right now.

I started playing Our Life with my sister a while ago, and I think you guys should know that we discovered your secret. >:)

L from death note and Cove are clearly the same person, and this whole game is just an origin story!!

I’ve never seen that show so I’m sorry to say I don’t understand the connection/reference you’re trying to make. I’m pretty out of the loop when it comes to media. I don’t watch movies or TV.

Will OL2 have options for disabled MCs?

I understand if it's too complicated, just curious

Unfortunately, it’s not really something we have a plan for. We couldn’t finish the game if we tried to include every disability and have it be meaningful. It’d just be too much content to create. But if we decide to only include a few, how would we choose which disabilities get to be represented and which are left out? I don’t know. It’ll probably have to be something we don’t include as an option again, sadly. I’m sorry.

playing our life > anything else 

Haha, I’m glad you’re enjoying it.

Honestly, I would like to thank Our Life for helping me come to terms with my sexuality. Before, I never would've actually thought that it was possible to like boys romantically and still be asexual. Almost all of the BL visual novels I've read had unskippable sexual content in them and it honestly just didn't click with what I feel. I'm glad I found Our Life. I love the game, the developers, and this fandom so much. Now, I can safely come out as homoromantic AND asexual (at least anonymously here anyway; my parents are still huge homophobes 😂). 

Aw, it’s great to hear you felt comfortable being yourself in the game! That’s wonderful. I’m really sorry about your parents, though.

Will the demo for OL2 be on android? Really not sure if I could wait any longer than I have to aha 

Yeah, it’ll be available for Android once we eventually release a demo!

Do all these reveals perhaps mean development is progressing ahead of schedule? Please let that be the case I'm already obsessed with Qiu 

No, sorry, aha. Art comes along much faster than script/programming-work for us. It’s gonna be a long time before the game is a finished thing you can actually play. But at least we can look at the beautiful images.

Hey! First of all I wanna say I reallllllyyyyy loooovvveeee Our Life and XOXO Droplets! I have over 300 hours of playtime on Our Life… Anyways, I was just wondering, are the Derek and Baxter DLCs going to come out at the same time? If not, which one do you plan to release first? :3 

They will come out separately and Derek will be first! Glad you like the game.

I keep replaying Our Life to get every possible iteration and I am loving it <3 I was wondering if Cove gets locked out of his confession because MC was talking to Lee, would it be possible to confess to him in step 4? 

Yeah, you can avoid the confession in Step 3 and then get it in Step 4.

Hi, my Cove wears bracelets through step 2 and 3 but I still don't get an option to give him a bracelet? I didn't even know that was possible until I seen someone else ask about it lol 

Hm, did you use the Cove creator? Maybe there’s a bug where using the creator to add bracelets doesn’t fulfill the requirement to give Cove a bracelet in Step 3.

Wait, I'm dense, when does Baxter appear in step 2? Is it from big park firework? I feel so bad since i really love Baxter and waiting to buy his dlc. 

It’s in the Soiree Moment. You have to be just friends with Cove, indifferent, or crushing but not ask Cove to the dance at all. Then while there you can find someone new to dance with. But if you bring Cove to the dance while crushing, the MC won’t wanna dance with anyone else so you can’t get the scene.

In step 2 when we go to the soiree I made my mc go alone and baxter chooses the mc to dance, i'm curious, why did he pick the mc? sorry if this has been asked before! 

Because the MC looked to be around his age, seemed to also be searching for a partner, and had nice legs. A perfect option for him.

I read some of the FAQs, and I saw that we could tell Baxter about the condo that he rented there was previously the mean old grandparents. how do we get the mc to tell him that? 

It happens in the DLC Moment “Late Shift”. If you don’t have a job you instead get a longer scene with Baxter.

I don’t know if you’ve addressed this or not, but are you planning on paying voice actors for our life: now and forever? 

Yeah, we pay our VAs in all our projects.

hey can i ask how you did the moments thing in ol? im trying to get into making visual novels and while im VERY sure its out of my comfort zone and all that atm i kinda wanna know just for the future, bc im p sure it would work well for something i wanna do :O but its also fine if you cant say for other reasons :> 

I’m afraid I’m not sure what you mean. Are you asking how we programmed the screen or something script related? Adding Moments like that is pretty straightforward, though. You just have buttons that open to different labels and then the scripts are essentially individual short stories/vignettes. Good luck with your VN!

Since Autumn becomes gender fluid later in the game, will there be a character who remains as he/him to romance in game? 

OL1 has the he/him LIs, OL2 is all about other genders.

I don't want to impose on your creative plans, but a parrot could possibly make a good pet in an OL-type game? They're pretty long-lived and likely to still be thriving by the end even if the MC got them back in step 1. 

I do appreciate the suggestion, but I’m afraid it’s not likely going to happen. I understand there are technically some animals that could theoretically live long enough to last the whole game that or we could have the MC only get a pet after some years have already passed. But the many things that would have to be considered/accommodated for makes it just something we probably can’t manage adding. I’m sorry.

As time passes will we be able to see Qiu and Tamarack's other stage arts as well?

They are both so cute i can't wait to be friends with them!

Yeah, we’ll show content from other Steps in the future. It’ll be a little while from now, though.

Can you date Cove and still have your family comfort you in the car?

You can’t get Cove’s Step 3 confession scene if you have the family comfort you in the car. But that’s not the only way to date him. You can get together with him earlier in the game or later on in Step 4.

Is Mc always going to be the one walking down the aisle or could Cove do it? Also could you choose to have one of your moms walk you? 

No. Cove wouldn’t want to walk down the aisle like that and the MC automatically respects that. And the MC also gets to have their preferences respected, so it’s up to you whether they want to do an aisle walk or not. You also can pick who, if anyone, walks with you.

Once step 4 is out, will you be able to go the whole game on crush/love without either of you confessing? 

Yes, as long as you tell the game you don’t want to progress the relationship. Even in Step 4 it won’t force you to officially get together.

Howdy, so in Step 4, there will be any Romance with Derek that is not part of any dlc? 

He’s only a friend unless you get his romance story.

Will the step 4 in OL2 be one big step or are you considering moments? 

Step 4 is just an epilogue in both games.

hi kind of a weird question but!! we know tht cliff doesn't start dating again but. wht abt flings? like does he ever do 1 night stands or anything? thank u!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Nope. Cliff has a very small interest in sex. If he’s not in a real relationship with a partner he’s crazy about it simply isn’t something he feels a need for, so one night stands wouldn’t even cross his mind.

sorry if you've already answered this, but i was wondering if there were plans for there to be bonus love interests in OL2 like how we have derek and baxter in OL1.

Maybe! There are side characters who could be given romance stories, but whether or not it will happen depends on funding and how long everything else takes to finish.

I don't know if i'm allowed to ask about ol2 here yet, if not u can ignore this or answer it later. My question is can you date one of them and be good friends with the other? I don't want to be strangers with the other bcs i love them both a lot :<

Yes you can!

what patreon level do i have to be to unlock the nsfw moment? im on the $5 one right now, will that give me access to the moment, or just access to the moment progress? 

That’ll give you access! Tier 2 and anything higher allows the player to download it.

[migilini]

Hiiii! I liked how you did the road trip one shot and was wondering if you could do a request for Charlie Gillespie where the reader and Charlie are dating but have been living in different states due to COVID and the boys do an Instagram live and the reader wants to be on the live with them and Charlie gets so excited and it’s fluffy?

So far apart - Charlie Gillespie

A/N: ofc i can! Thank you so much, hope you like it :) I will proofe read it tomorrow.

Words: 1.5k

Masterlist

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Tiredness was your new default state. College alone was stressful and hard enough plus it didn't help that you had to do it online from your little NY appartement that you shared with three other roommates. But you had too. You were in your last semester ever! That was motivation enough to pull through.

Currently you were trying to facetime your boyfriend Charlie. You haven't seen him in about four months but if someone would ask your roommates, they would say it felt like an eternity of you moaning and pouting about not seeing him. When COVID started, the two of you seriously debated about moving in together. However, at that time, your classes were not online yet and you couldn't move away, he also couldn't move to New York with you because he still had meetings with the JATP Cast.

You stared at your ringing phone, desperate to hear his voice. You knew that he should be awake, you had the time zones imprinted on your brain.

Sorry babe, have a meeting in 5… Will call you after okay? <3 the message that just popped up on your screen made you frown a little. You weren't mad, you just had a really awful week and missed him like crazy.

Sure thing <3 yout texted back and threw the phone onto your bed. Deciding that instead of waiting for him to call back, you could use the time usefully and start studying for your next test in two days. 

It was an hour later, you were completely engrossed in the textbook, so you barely heard the ringing of your phone. Maybe a bit too quick, you tossed all your books to the ground and launched yourself on the bed to find your phone. 

His pretty face filled your screen “Heyyy!” “Hello beautiful!” You two grinned at each other.

“How are--” A knocking on your door interrupted your question. “Yes?” The door opened and revealed one of your roommates Alexis with a sheepish look on her face “I’m really sorry to interrupt but Tara just broke off with her boyfriend and she needs a hug.”

You looked up at your red haired friend “She broke up with Tom?!” Alexis nodded “It's an emergency” she claimed. Charlie understood this as his clue to end the call saying a quick goodbye and a don't worry about it, when you shot him an apologetic look. 

This is how it went nearly every time. Something always came up, either you were studying non-stop and he didn't want to distract you or he had actor things and meetings going on. It was truly tiring. The last time you really had the opportunity to facetime was a couple weeks ago and even then you fell asleep inert 15minutes. When Charlie accidentally lulled you to sleep with a song he's been working on. 

Still the two of you made it work. Charlie had started writing you weekly letters with his perfume on it. And you being your crafty self, sent him a little care package with letters, some self made food and paintings, every now and then.

You just finished all your tests and essays for this semester and you felt free again. Taking a deep breath, you opened your bedroom window and put your school books away. Sinking down on your bed, you closed your eyes temporarily, enjoying the moment. You got up again to get yourself something to eat and a coffee. Your roommates were currently away, probably getting groceries or books at the College Library.

You mindlessly scrolled through Instagram, the sandwich you made yourself still laying next to you on the nightstand. Ever since Julie and the Phantoms released, the cast's accounts blew up like crazy and Charlie always showed you off like a queen so of course people found your page as well. You didn't mind though. Most of the people were really nice and respecting, protecting your relationship from all the not so nice guys

You just answered some DM’s, chuckling at a meme that Maddie had sent you, when you got a notification that Owen was live. Naturally you clicked on it, knowing that Charlie most likely will be in the live as well, due to the fact that he was currently at Owen’s with Jeremy.

You were one of the first ones. Owen grinned when he saw your name come up in the chat. 

“Guten Morgen everybody.” You chuckled when you heard your boyfriend singing in the background, writing in the chat that Owen should say hi to Charlie. “Are all of you streaming JATP?” he asked the live audience while you nodded to yourself, your laptop open beside you. It was a bit embarrassing to admit how often you saw the show, but every time you felt lonely you watched it. It had some really cute guys in it after all.

He read the chat “Do you like watching the show you participated in? Thats a good question. Charlie, Charlie! I have a question for you.” The camera turned and it showed the canadian boy you fell in love with. 

“Eh…” he said as he walked into the kitchen, Owen following close. “It was very weird at first. Guess I'm more used to it now.” he answered honestly. You weren't even listening, you just stared at your phone in trance, the light making him look so incredibly pretty.

Suddenly you got an invitation to join the live from Owen. You sat up a bit straighter and blinked a few times before accepting. 

“Helloooooo!” he screamed, making you laugh. “Hi Owen. Yall are up early.”

“Yeah… you know Char. That dumb early riser.” he complained. “Yeah I feel you. Though he lets me sleep so he must love me more than he loves you.” you teased making Owen pout in a childish way.

“Charlie! Who do you love more, me or y/n?” the statement made your boyfriend laugh and for a moment your breath hitched, it was music in your ears and once again you realised how much you missed it.

“I’m really sorry bud, but definitely y/n…I want to...” Charlie just wanted to explain why when he heard your chuckling from Owen’s phone. “See told ya.” It was truly a blessing that the camera was still turned to your boyfriend, making it easy for you to see his reaction. He nearly let the fork he was holding fall out of his hand, his eyes widening while his mouth grew into a big grin. “Is that y/n?” he asked cautiously. Apparently Owen nodded, because before you knew, the camera turned and you were face to face with your boyfriend. 

“Baby!” he screamed, a wide, toothy smile on his lips. “How dare you go on live with Owen but not with me!” he jokes. “How was the history test? As hard as you thought it would be?” you cut off his rambling “Hi! Nice to see you too. No, it was way harder than I expected. Let's hope for the best, I get the results sometime next week”

“I bet you killed that test baby! No, Owen you don't get the phone back… I don't care that it's your live.” The chat was freaking out over Charlie's happiness by just seeing you, talking about how they want love like that.

“Little explanation for everybody. Me and Charlie haven't really been able to facetime so were just really excited right now. Sorry if it's boring.” you explained to the chat. 

“Don’t ever say that ever again.” he said in a serious tone “it's not boring.” you held your hands up in surrender. “Sorry sorry. Can I talk to Owen again? I mean he is the one who invited me.” you teased, poking your tongue out. With a pout he gave the phone back to Owen.

“Are you also streaming the show today?” he asked you. Charlie was in the background, looking at you over Owens shoulder, making silly faces. “Of course! Who do you think I am? I’ve been watching it everyday since it came out.” Owens' face fell “You're kidding… that doesn't… that doesn't seem healthy.” you shrugged “Well i don't really care. I have this massive crush on someone from the show, just can't get enough of him.” 

The camera shook and a couple crunts later you were once again faced with Charlie. “I sure hope it's me or you're not allowed to wear that shirt anymore.” he pointed to the shirt you were currently wearing and that was in fact one of his.

“Not gonna tell you babe. My mouth is shut.” you winked, making him blush. “I miss you.” he blurted out with puppy eyes. “I miss you too. Can’t wait to see you.” he grinned at that excited for the surprise he had planned. 

“I think i'm gonna go, let you guys actually comment on the show. I love you Charlie.” You sent him a kiss and he pretended to catch it with his free hand.

“Eww that's so cheesy.” Owen muttered from somewhere in the back.

“I love you too.”

[teabunnypaws]

Welp.

I did it.

What makes it WORSE? The fact that while writing one Hawks x Reader fic, I got distracted and wrote a WHOLE ASS DIFFERENT FIC. I don’t really have a beta reader, so I edited it as best I could and just..be gentle with me yall. This is my first fic in 10 years oof. This is my first time writing in this POV so have mercy haha, I know it gets kinda messy toward the end but hopefully it’s not awful.

Unconditional Love (Hawks x Reader)

Summary: You (bunny themed pro-hero) and Hawks have found balance and understanding in your busy lives. Sometimes the greatest show of love is saying nothing and doing everything.

Word#: 4088

Tags:  fluff, cuddling with no pants, fluff and MORE FLUFF, pet names (honeybun, baby bun, toasty bun), mentions of getting a tan, Hero Reader with Bunny Quirk, (If more tags are needed, just lemme know this is my first time posting like this so oof)

Txt: Baby?

Txt: Loooovebiiiird~

Txt: I miss you 💕

You smiled as you sent the text message, comfortable in bed, your teeth biting softly at the corner of your lip. Your long ears gave a small flick as you basked in the cool of the bedroom. It was lit only with dim fairy lights, the sound of the standing fan nearby rumbling through the air, soothing you further as you cuddled up in your sleep shirt. It had been a long day, and you had just gotten back from a grueling two week deployment. Your shoulders hurt, your calves were killing you...which was saying something considering your quirk.

Unlike Rumi, you were built for speed rather than punishing power...but there were days where even you were pushed to your limits and this had been one of them. After a quick small meal and a hot shower, you could finally unwind for the weekend, a gentle smile on your face as you glanced over to Keigo's pillow next to you. 

You had come home with your heavy duffel on your shoulder to be met by a bright eyed and apologetic Keigo in the doorway. He helped it off your shoulder and peppered you in kisses as he gathered you to him, fully decked out in his hero gear, visor pushed up into his hair.

You basked in the warmth of his body around you, the softness of his wings as they brushed against the part of your back exposed by your costume. The sensation of their silkiness against your skin made you shiver a bit, your tail giving a small wiggle of delight. His hands were also so warm, soft in pliant leather that rested on your hips, fingertips brushing softly inward as though he wanted to pet your tail. It was one of your favorite things about him, how he always savored you like that.

"Sorry honeybun, I gotta fly. Duty calls y'know? He had murmured against your lips, his eyes worried and gentle as he regarded you. But instead of what he had seen before with others who had been in his arms, the hurt and sadness, your eyes met his with a gaze that held one thing that never failed to take his breath away: understanding. Your hands slid up to cup his cheeks, pulling him down for a kiss, your lips met softly, sweetly. 

His eyes fluttered closed and his shoulders relaxed, arms and wings tightening about you just a moment as he soaked you in. A soft sigh pulled from you both as you parted, a small smirk curling your lips as you reached up and carefully pulled his visor down settling it in place. 

"Stay safe out there hotshot."

The smile that lit up his face rivaled the sun and his wings ruffled in his joy. "You got it baby bun." He gave you a playful wink and that trademark beautiful smile "I'll be back soon~" and out he had gone, leaving you to unpack and settle in.

You weren't expecting a reply right away, As Keigo or rather..Hawks, tended to be busy with his patrol. Not that you minded. Both of you were pro heroes and even though you were nowhere near as busy as he was, there were times where you both had to bid each other goodbye for the sake of duty.

Sometimes weeks at a time.

You didn't bother to tell him where you were when you had to leave. He *knew* where you were thanks to the feather you wore around your neck pressing to your skin. Not only did it let him know where you were but, it gave Hawks the feeling of your resting heartbeat, the hum of happiness in your chest as he began to reply. 

It was a bond unlike most had ever seen. The two of you tied at the hip, but at the same time, never impeding the work the other did...even if it meant being apart for long stints.

Apart, but never alone~

Your eyes sparkled when you saw his reply: 

Lovebird: I miss you too baby bun~

Txt: Come cuddle me?

There was a pause then...a rather long one. One long enough for you to pull up your emails and flip through before his message popped up on the top of your screen.

Lovebird: I'll be there as soon as I'm done ok? Keep the bed warm for me~

Txt: Fiiiiiine~

And you of course attached a picture of yourself pouting in the low light of the room. Your hair strewn softly about your pillows, ears lowered and bottom lip poked out. To put the cherry on top you were wearing your favorite sleep shirt: an oversized Hawks merchandise shirt the same color as his wings of course; the feather keepsake he gave you resting on its chain and settled about your heart.

There was no text message as a reply, the feather giving all the answer you needed. It shifted and moved to brush against the curve of your cheek and you smiled, gathering it to your lips and murmuring softly against the vane. "Love you…" Your eyes closed, the gentle fluffiness brushing against your lips, and you could almost feel his thumb against them.

It would be a good five hours before you heard the slight rustle of the balcony window and the familiar sound of your boyfriend clambering through. You shifted, rolling over and regarding him in the low light of the room as he stood, looking over to you with gentle loving eyes.

"Hey (y/n), I'm home honeybun…" His voice was still cheerful, relieved to be home but low with his exhaustion. He didn't look too worse for wear, no huge chunks of missing feathers or anything like that, but that tiredness hung heavy on his frame like a wet coat.

"Welcome home…" you replied, shifting on your side to watch him with a small sleepy blink. Hawks sighed, giving a small smile before pulling his visor off and placing it on the bedside table, his work phone was tugged from his pocket, plugged in and plopped next to it haphazardly.

His boots and socks were the next to go, the crimson winged hero too tired to put any sort of effort into stripping out of his work clothes in any sort of sexy manner, but to you? 

He was gorgeous.

The slight flex of his shoulders as he hovered his feathers out of the way to wriggle his coat off was downright sinful, your eyes watching as he dropped it on the floor. The next off was his shirt, tugged off over his head, yet another tired sigh coming as he let it join his coat. One hand coming to smooth his hair back as sharp teeth found the end of one gloved fingertip biting and pulling the leather to remove it and let it drop, soon to be joined by its mate on the ever growing pile. The buckle of his pants came undone and you would have offered to help him with that if he didn't look so drained. Plus...you were still tired and sore yourself.

And just like that...Hawks was gone. Shed and discarded on the floor and put aside for the time being.

Left in his boxers, Keigo flopped face down onto the bed with a fluff of red as his feathers settled back into place. He pushed an exhausted groan into his pillow, not noticing that his dramatic belly flop had made you bounce slightly.

"Hey, we just got this mattress..don't go breaking it just yet." You teased.

"Baby bun..if I wasn't so exhausted I'd show you how I'd really break this mattress and you know it." Came the smothered reply and he laughed softly, gently rolling over to face you with his arms out. "C'mere…" his eyes were honeyed amber, warm and so inviting, even in the low light of the room.

It took less than a second for you to slot yourself firmly between those strong arms, nosing under his jawline while Keigo buried his face in your hair and took a deep breath. One wing draped over you, dropping you both into relative darkness and you hummed in contentment. His exhaling sigh came with slacked shoulders, his hand rubbing quick circles in the small of your back, just above your tail.

You pressed a smile to his neck and murmured softly "Slower please?" Your hand slid up his back in a lazy methodical way as a demonstration. "Like that?" You asked, loving the way his muscles felt below your touch. It was like a musician destringing an overtaut violin bow, another sigh heaved from his frame and he hummed lowly as he seemed to revel in being asked to relax his quickened pace.

"Sure thing babe….whatever you want.." he murmured, his hand shifting to a slow easy pace. Keigo smiled as he trailed his fingertips up and down your back, admiring the lines of your frame, and the softness of your skin under his merchandise. "Y'know...I love seeing you in that...wearin’ my colors...my name on you.." He said softly. "Looks even better on you than before…."

"Oh yeah? Why's that hm?" You asked, nosing gently under his jawline. Your nose twitched as an unfamiliar cologne hit it...a smell that you weren't used to being on him, but nonetheless it was sublime. Woodsy and warm, slightly sweet and undeniably Keigo.

"Probably because you're so tan now...heh, I knew you said you were running around outside a lot and you weren't kidding." He leaned back and grinned at you. "My little toasty bun,  I'm gonna eat you all up~" Keigo growled playfully, biting gently along your shoulder in a few places with a soft noise in the back of his throat.

"Ah! Keigo~" you squealed and squirmed, laughing against his neck. "Yeah I'm a toasty bun, and you smell nice. New cologne?" You asked, nuzzling eagerly back into the crook of his neck. Hm..no not there..

A slight tip of your face where you could feel the soft brush of his facial hair against the bridge of your nose, the smell much stronger there. You hummed your delight, rubbing back and forth, the slight scratch of his hair soothing you, allowing your ears to tip back.

"Nah, new face wash. Rumi got it for me..I wasn't sure if I liked it, but if it gets *this* reaction, I think I might just have a winner on my hands." He said with a playful waggle of his brows, earning a laugh from you against his neck.

"Yeah I'd say so." You hummed, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips, settling your foreheads together. You simply paused there...soaking it all in, his presence, the softness of his breath against your lips, the feel of those cool slightly calloused hands brushing against your skin and hiking the back of your shirt as they went.

"Lovebird?"

"Hm?" Keigo replied, peeling open one eye to regard you with a small smile. "What's up (y/n)?"

"I love you." You said softly, giving a small peck of your lips to his, earning yourself a grin. As he began to open his mouth to reply, your own grin flicked over your face as you began your assault. 

"I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.." Again and again, you murmured the phrase, each time punctuating it with a small quick kiss on a different part of his face. You could feel his shoulders shake with laughter, his head tipping to try and return the assault, but at the moment, you had him on the ropes.

All he could do was accept your love and laugh as again and again, it was peppered into his skin with gentle affection and insistent whispers. "I love you. I love you. I love youuuu~" You cooed, the last one given with a veritable rain of kisses leaning up over him, pausing to linger the last one at his lips, allowing you to look into his eyes.

So beautiful they were...like melted honey as they met your own. His breaths came in soft little puffs, quickly warming hands settled against you and he chuckled. "Well that was quite a statement. Allow me to retort~" A wicked grin crossed his face and he used a bit of leverage to roll you halfway under him, not being able to hold back a laugh as your squeal of delight filled the air.

His kisses had no words, but none were needed as he peppered them all over your face and neck, your hands clutching about his neck and shoulders as giggles pulled from you nonstop.

Oh that sound.

That beautiful...beautiful sound. All for him. One of the few reasons why this hero gig was worth it; to come home and settle next to you. What made it even better was that he could feel it. Every rippling vibration seeping into him through the feather you wore and he pushed up on his hands, looking down at you. 

All the genuine joy, all the happiness, it was for him, caused by him. Keigo...not Hawks...this precious adoration reserved for who he was...and not who he allowed others to see him as.

It nearly brought him to tears.

You took a moment to breathe, your giggles dying down, tiny tears pricking the corners of your eyes as you looked up at him with sheer adoration in your gaze. Your hair was messy and spread over the pillow below you, your hands slipping off him to rest gently against the mattress. 

Your shirt had shifted during the assault, slipping slightly down one shoulder, bearing the soft plane of skin to him and the sight of you made his heart ache in the best way. A sweet twisting fullness that left him nearly breathless as he watched you, his wings relaxing softly along with his shoulders. 

Confused at his unusual silence, you looked up at him, giving a small quirk of a shy smile, feeling your cheeks warm. “What?” You asked, your voice soft and flustered. “Keigooo….What?” You insisted when your initial question got no reply, but instead a warm, loving smile.

"You're beautiful babybun...y'know that?" Keigo murmured, the feather around your neck lifting to trail its tip against your lips. "And it's a goddamn shame I'm so fucking exhausted." He laughed breathlessly, his eyes low and hungry in the dim light. A playful smile curled your lips at that and you pressed a kiss to the tip of his feather.

"That makes it a double shame then because trust me hot shot, you’re not the only one who’s dead on their feet. Soooo to me, that means we just have to get some sleep and who knows~" You grinned up at him then, a hand coming to brush against the afterfeather and up to where it attached to your necklace. You relished in the full body shiver he gave, his eyes fluttering closed, his teeth sinking slightly into the corner of his mouth.

"We might just be in shape to handle some…." 

"Morning exercise?" Keigo offered, smoldering topazine eyes locked onto yours, his voice low and sultry. His wings were lifted high, flared slightly to subtly show off his plumage as his instincts demanded.

"Mhmmm~" you purred in return, letting your hand slip from the feather to gather him to you, giving a giggle at the small noise he made at being pulled out of his display and rolled back onto his side. His wings gave a quick flap, adjusting to keep himself from laying on them, and he give a low chuckle.

“Well in that case, let’s get some sleep..You know me (y/n), I love to help you stretch those beautiful legs of yours~” Keigo teased, his hands sliding down the soft curve of your exposed thigh to your knee and back up.

You hummed softly in your delight as you shifted, rolling over onto your side to stretch your arms out comfortably. It always confused you honestly, how romantic shows and movies would have people cuddling to sleep facing one another. The first time you’d tried that with Keigo, your arm had gone horribly numb and you couldn’t sleep worth a damn.

This though? Your back snug against his strong chest with his arm draped over you at juuust the right spot, one found through MUCH trial and error and many complaints about his forearm digging into your ribs. This was perfect...and you sighed comfortably, your ears lowering as you heard Keigo shift, slipping his arm through the slot in the special pillow you’d asked support to make for you. This way his arm didn’t go numb and you got to have a nice pillow to sleep on.

Despite being heroes, you both were still human and there were limits to what you could tolerate. Comfort was a necessity when it came to your lives, and needless to say, you two had cuddling down to an -art-. 

“And can I also say that I’m not a religious man by any stretch of the word, but I thank whatever deity is listening that you hate wearing sleep pants?” Keigo continued, a little huffing laugh coming from you as you wiggled your tail against his stomach earning a laugh from him as he scooted back just a bit to avoid the attack.

“H-hey! I’m just being honest!” He whined, and you smirked over your shoulder at him as you grabbed the small remote on the bed and tapped it, turning the lights off and dropping the both of you into darkness.

“I know you are Keigo~ That’s one of the things I love about you..” You murmured softly, feeling him tense just a little before he smiled and hummed his agreement into your hair.

“Yeah? What else do you love about me?” he asked, his voice soft next to your ear.

“Hmmm well one of them is poking me in the butt.” You snickered, earning an embarrassed huff from him.

“Well that guy has a mind of his own, I’m not apologizing. He knows quality when he sees it.” Keigo snarked, smiling into your hair.

“Oh does he?” You smirked as you closed your eyes. “I love your heart...your laugh. How you absolutely suck at making pancakes.” The offended scoff that followed only made your smirk curl to a smile.

“I love how you complete me…I’d go on, but we did say we needed some sleep and if I don’t stop there we’ll be here until the sun comes up.” You sighed softly and you didn’t miss the slight tightening of his arm and wing around you.

“Aw honeybun, you’re gonna make me all sappy…” He pressed a kiss to the side of your neck, his eyes closing as he lingered there. “We complete each other y’know? You’re my missing piece...what made all this shit mean something again..” A deep breath and a sigh against your skin and he shifted, getting a bit more comfortable. “Sleep tight (y/n), I love you…”

“G’night Keigo..I love you too..”

Taking a deep breath, you sighed it out, Keigo’s warmth and his soft breathing against your ear combined with the steady hum of the fan and the quiet murmur of the city outside your window was your lullaby, pulling you comfortably into a deep sleep. The smile on your face never slipped away as you rested there...after all...you had some morning exercise to look forward to with your best partner~

Love...trust...

It was what held your relationship together through all of the nonsense that was going on in your lives. You knew of course about the league of villains, about what he had to do. Those big ears of yours weren’t just for show...and you still remember the fear on his face when you had told him about what you had known.

You had been on your patrol, (h/n) and Hawks, him in the air, you along the ground, but the two of you had settled on the roof of an abandoned warehouse for a break as the sun began to dip past the buildings. Moving to sit on the edge of the roof, you sighed and laid back on it, letting the wind ruffle your hair and the fur of your ears before you broke the silence.

“Hey Hawks?” “What’s up (h/n)?” “I’ve got a hypothetical for you.”

“Ooohoho? I do love a good hypothetical~ hit me.”

“So! Hypothetically, if someone finds out that someone they love is going deep undercover and having to do something that is diametrically opposed to what they stand for in order to protect the greater good. What do you think that someone would do?” 

Your eyes had met and Hawks had an absolutely unreadable expression on his face, the fear in those topazine eyes and how he had frozen to the spot was something you had never seen before. Just like that, the roles had been reversed. The predator had become prey. He had been trembling and you of course had noticed, but your face had stayed calm.

“Well, seems like cat’s got your tongue Feathers, so….I’ll give my answer first and you can say yours.” You hummed, shifting to sit up and letting your legs dangle over the edge of the roof and you kicked them slightly, your ears perked as you admired the sunset which was quickly drenching the city in twilight. 

“I think, that person...if they truly understood their loved one, would know what they have to do is important...and just because they might have to do something bad, doesn’t mean they like it..or that it changes who they are at their heart.” You mused, your fingers coming up to trail your fingers against the feather around your neck. 

“And of course, they would understand that their loved one COULDN’T say anything because...well that kinda defeats the whole purpose of being undercover right?” You looked over your shoulder at him giving a sweet smile and a tilt of your head as you picked up the feather and held it gently to your pulse point. 

“So of course, that person would never say anything...because that would only hurt their loved one and they would just do their best to be there for them and support them when they come back home. What do you think Hawks?”

Hawks continued to stare and then swallowed the dry lump in his throat as he tried to process just what the fuck you just said. You...you knew...how the FUCK did you find out?! His mind was rushing, trying to think of something to say, something to DO...what could he do?! Did Endeavor know that you knew?!

What took him off guard the most though, was the calmness that you looked at him with. Those (e/c) eyes of yours weren’t angry...weren’t betrayed. 

Understanding and love...

That was all they held. 

The feather at your throat, right over where the blood rushed, held such a poignant meaning to him that it nearly brought him to his knees. You knew how dangerous his feathers could be, how if he had to, he could end your life with a thought...and also...your heartbeat. It was calm. No indication of fear, of lying...which meant that you really weren’t going to say anything.

His tight posture slowly dropped and he gave a breathless laugh, his wings giving a slight shake as he adjusted them, his hands slipping into his pockets as he walked to stand next to you on the edge.

“That’s ah...one hell of a hypothetical there honeybun, but yeah...I think you answered it in a shot.” He chuckled, giving a slight scratch at his chin scruff, looking down at you and his shoulders lowering slightly.

“Yeah? Guess I’m getting better at them!” You giggled, lifting the feather to kiss the center of it before letting it dangle down as you stood and began to stretch yourself out. “I think that’s enough of a break hm? Wanna get back to patrolling?” 

“Heh, sure thing~” His voice was the same happy go lucky chirp as always, but those eyes, you could see the relief in them as plainly as his wings. He now had a silent supporter, one who would be there no matter how much blood ended up on his hands and that was something he had never thought he would ever have:

Unconditional love.

[rhysismydaddy]

Casual Ruin Pt. 3 (Elriel)

Elain’s part of the Damnation Series.

Part 1 | Part 2

God help yall this shit was a rollercoaster to write

________________________________________________

~Elain~

For a second, no one breathes, let alone moves.

Azriel’s hands are steady as he grips the gun, body lined with tension, eyes so cold I shiver. The barrel’s close enough that if I leaned forward an inch, it’d brush my forehead.

The man next to him holds a cigarette halfway to his mouth, looking at me like he’s never seen a woman before and has absolutely no idea what to do. 

And me? I’m frozen in place, horror rushing through my veins and mixing with the shock to create a nauseating cocktail I’m not sure I’ll survive.

It’s the brutalized man in the chair slumping over and hitting the floor with a loud thud that finally snaps us out of our momentary haze.

Azriel blinks and throws the gun to the side so hard it makes a dent in the wall, the stranger drops his cigarette and reaches for me, and I sprint like my fucking life depends on it. Because at this point, I’m pretty sure it might.

What the hell did I walk into? 

I race up the stairs toward the garage, where less than a minute ago, I’d heard Azriel’s voice and gone to surprise him. By the look on his face when he turned around, I’d at least succeeded in that.

I can practically feel the man behind me, can tell he’s reaching a hand out to grab me.

I’ve never been a violent person in my life, but with the amount of adrenaline coursing through me, I don’t even question the urge to use the wine bottle in my hands as a weapon.

It breaks over the man’s head, but unlike in the movies, he doesn’t go down immediately. However, he does lose his balance enough that with a firm shove to his chest, he goes crashing back down to the hellhole I’m running from.

I make it to the garage and slam the door to the basement closed, locking it for good measure. Then I drag the heavy workbench next to the line of pristine cars over in front of it for even better measure. 

I refuse to let myself stop and think, because I’m pretty sure if I do, I’ll break down into a pool of tears and never get up. I’m running on nothing but adrenaline, and I know I’ll crash soon, but I force myself to keep going.

For a moment, I’m tempted to steal one of the cars to get away, but the sound of angry Italian shouts behind the locked door makes me hesitant to waste any more time.

I also definitely don’t have time to call the cab driver that dropped me off and beg him to come back.

The fear and terror don’t give me time to doubt myself as I take my heels off, take off up the driveway, and pray I’m fast enough to escape the devil on my trail.

~Azriel~

“Get that goddamn door open,” I shout at Luca, who’s dripping wine all over the place and has a gash on his forehead from where little Elain Archeron shoved him down the stairs.

I almost fucking shot her in the head. Her. 

Dolcezza mia. The girl I’m stupidly obsessed with. The one who’s always quick to smile--the same one who sighs when I kiss her and lights up when I walk into the room.

I almost shot her between those beautiful brown eyes, almost snuffed them out forever.

I run a hand over my face, listening to the sound of Luca throwing himself into the door repeatedly. “I’m trying, boss, but I think she pulled something in front of the door.”

Smart.

Fucking annoying as hell, but smart.

If I wasn’t so damn pissed at myself for not locking the basement door behind me and allowing her to find us down here, I’d be mildly impressed. 

Two of the most dangerous men in Italy, trapped in the basement like idiots. 

I pull up the app to track her phone--which was originally for her safety, not because I’m a complete stalker--and see that she’s on foot, going behind the houses instead of down the road. She probably thinks I’ll drive by her while she gets away right under my nose.

“Fuck,” I mutter, sending out a text to all my neighbors to tell them not to shoot the beautiful young woman trespassing through their properties. She has no idea the people around us have security systems better than the President’s. “Luca!”

“Working on it,” he grunts back.

“If that shit isn’t open in the next twenty seconds, you’re going in the incinerator after this asshole,” I warn, nudging the dead body on the floor with a boot.

The threat must work, because a second later, there’s a loud bang and the telltale sound of the workbench from my garage toppling over. “Got it!”

I storm up the stairs and tell him, “Run interference with the neighbors and local police. Anyone talks-”

“Got it,” he interrupts, grabbing his phone to start threatening people.

Pulling up the app again, I track the path she’s on, curse when I see she’s headed to the bus station about a mile from here, and take off after her.

Technically, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if she got away. She’d probably go to the police and tell them what she saw, not knowing that Marco, the deputy on duty, has been on my payroll since the day he passed the police entrance exam.

Having done her civic duty, she’d probably try to recover from the trauma of what she saw, eventually finish her classes and move on, and leave. Forgetting all about me in the process.

Technically, for her, this option would not be the worst thing in the world.

But in my head, it feels worse than being stabbed. In my head, there isn’t a question about it. 

I’m going after her. 

There’s this weird, itchy feeling in my chest I’ve never felt before as I run and run and try not to think about the look on her face as she saw the body fall to the floor.

I realize the feeling in my chest as panic, something I haven’t felt since I was a teenager getting booked for stealing my first car.

She knows.

She knows, and the look on her face... she looked at me like I’m a monster. 

And fuck, maybe that’s true. Maybe I am beyond saving.

But having her look at me, and having her take away the easy smiles and bright eyes I’d grown strangely accustomed to... it feels like being robbed.

And it makes me panic.

So I’ll chase her, and catch her, and do whatever I have to do to get her back. 

Because I need her, and damn if I’m going at this alone. 

After a surprising amount of time, I see the thin outline of her off in the distance, sprinting like the devil himself is chasing her. 

I take a deep breath and try to stay quiet, but it’s hopeless. Like she’s the one with the tracker on me, she can tell the second I’m close. I can see it from the way her shoulders go stiff and her pace increases.

“Elain!” 

I call out again for her to stop, because I don’t want to tackle her and risk hurting her. She ignores me and keeps running, turning behind the coroner of one of my dealer’s house. 

That sticky, awful, panicky feeling in my chest grows as she disappears from sight, and without thinking, I follow.

Which, if I had been thinking, I never would’ve done, because shit like this leaves you open to attack. 

Which reminds me: I’ve now broken all three rules for this woman, because I don’t have a single weapon on me to defend us if something happens.

I hit the ground hard enough the wind rushes out of me and my stupid brain rattles around in my stupid skull. 

Blinking through the blur, I look up to find Elain standing over me with an empty metal trashcan raised like a bat, ready to strike again. 

I need to explain, need to talk to her, but all I can seem to say is her name.

“Elain,” I croak, trying to force air down my lungs.

As my vision clears, I notice she’s crying, beautiful face streaked with tears and dirt. 

She pauses and looks at me, like the sight of me knocked on my ass hurts her just as much as it does me, then shakes her head to clear it. 

She throws the trash can at me and turns to flee, but I know I can’t let her go, at least not like this. Grabbing her ankle, I yank her down to me, making sure she lands on me instead of the ground. 

She screams, the sound scraping away another layer of the trust we’d built, and I don’t think I’ve ever been so desperate in my life. Elain flails around, but I use my weight to pin her, trying not to hurt her. 

She has to let me explain. She has to.

I hate what I’m about to do, but the only other option I have is making her pass out the old fashion way, which I know I could never bring myself to do.

The second the needle goes into her neck, she goes stiff underneath me, looking at me with wide, panicked eyes. 

“You drugged me,” she sobs, the betrayal in her voice making my chest hurt.

I brush the hair off her face, press my forehead to hers, and start telling her things I haven’t told another living soul.

I’ll never hurt you.

I’m sorry.

~Elain~

Am I dead?

Why does it feel like I got hit by a bus?

Where am I? 

These three questions rattle around in my brain at the same time, all demanding answers, as soon as I open my eyes. 

And the weird part is... I don’t have any.

I have no idea if I’m alive or dead, but the headache I have that seems permanently settled behind my eyes points to the latter.

I blink the haze in my brain away and realize I’m at my house in bed, but my extend of knowledge seems to stop there. 

There’s a voice in my head whispering something, but it’s too quiet for me to understand what she’s saying. All I know is that I feel like I need to do something, need to get out of here. 

I rub my sore eyes and see there’s a note on the bedside table, written in precise, calm handwriting I recognize better than my own. 

Come downstairs. 

He’s here? I thought I went to his house, not the other way around.

The blinds are closed, but when I make my way to the window and peak out, I see a dark night sky, the moon reflecting off the water and making everything seen calm.  

What the hell happened to me?

I start to leave the room, intent on going downstairs and asking Azriel that very question. 

Except as I’m passing by my closet, I see something. 

Something small and so inconsequential, I almost don’t think anything about it.

Like I’m in a dream, I feel myself walk over to the corner of the room. I feel my knees hit the floor, see my finger extend to the floor and touch the tiny drop of liquid that caught my eye.

I pull back and look, and somehow, I’m not surprised to see that it’s blood.

The floors are dark enough I shouldn’t have been able to see it from so far away, but it’s like a part of me was looking for it. 

And that’s when it comes back to me.

Coming to surprise him, seeing the door in his garage, going downstairs... I press a hand to my mouth and squeeze my eyes shut, trying to fight the tidal wave of nausea washing over me. 

I remember seeing the blood first and wondering if someone was hurt, then coming further into the room to find myself in the middle of a nightmare. If I wasn’t so strangely sure it had been real, I would think it was a horror movie.

The man strapped down had been so brutalized, I doubt I would’ve recognized him even if I’d known him my whole life.

I remember running without a thought more, giving into the fight or flight impulse to get the hell out of there. 

I remember hitting Azriel, seeing him fall to the ground and looking up at me with those deep, wounded eyes that will haunt me more than the torture he inflicted on that poor man. 

Eyes that told me everything and nothing at the same time.

I remember looking into those eyes and crying at the pain in them that was surely reflected in my own. 

And then nothing. 

Why don’t I remember? How did I get back here?

I’m sorry. 

I finally recall that last whispered promise, and if I hadn’t already been sitting on the floor, I would’ve fallen to my knees as I realize what happened.

He drugged me.

Azriel, the same man who slow-danced with me in an empty restaurant and drove me along the coast and held me in his sleep, drugged me.

And he’s downstairs.

I start to hyperventilate, because I don’t know what to do or what he’s planning to do. Why is he still here?

What am I going to do? Should I call the cops?

I realize I don’t have my phone, probably a countermeasure on his part. 

I also realize there’s no way for me to run. I remember how fast he’d caught me, how easy it had been for him to render me useless. 

There’s no escaping him. Not if he’s already down there waiting, evil plan cooking in his mind.

I have no other option, unless I want to stay in this room for the rest of my life.

So with confidence I don’t feel, I walk downstairs. 

I find him sitting at my breakfast table, leaning back casually and sipping a cup of coffee despite the late hour. 

The moonlight clings to him like it loves him, playing off of his sharp cheekbones and illuminating his features. His face is carefully blank, but there’s a flicker of something as he looks at me, something that seems almost like relief. 

He’s calm and collected and everything I’m not, and it pisses me off. My world’s on fire, yet he’s sitting here like nothing’s wrong? And he’s drinking my coffee?

I stomp over to grab the stolen drink, then sit across from him and cross my arms. 

And wait.

Because I sure as hell am not talking first. 

He stayed because he has something to say. I don’t have anything to say to him. 

For a long time, we just stare at each other, because he’s apparently playing by the same rules. 

Then he accepts his defeat, sighs, and asks, “Why did you come to my house last night?”

I purse my lips, narrow my eyes, and try to stop myself from throwing the coffee in his face. 

Because he said that almost like an accusation. 

Like the problem is that I came over unannounced, not that he was torturing someone. 

“I’m not justifying that with a response,” I eventually tell him.

He gives me a hard look. “Answer the question.”

Something about the entirely male way he demanded that, like he expects a response immediately, makes me tilt my head and ask so sweetly I almost choke, “Why? Are you going to torture me if I don’t?”

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, showing the first sign of imperfection I’ve ever seen from him. “What you saw-”

“Was horrifying, and I don’t want to talk about it.”

He acts like I didn’t even speak. “-was something I meant to keep private from you.”

I don’t tell him that’s pretty fucking obvious at this point. 

Instead I ask, “Why?” 

I’m not sure why I want to know, but it suddenly feels important. 

He doesn’t takes his eyes off of me as he says, “Because you’re you. You shine so brightly it should be illegal, and you look at the world like it isn’t a terrible place. I didn’t want to take that from you.”

My throat feels uncomfortably tight all the sudden, but I clear it and say, “Well, you did.”

His jaw clenches, and he looks down. “I know. If I could go back and walk away, I would. Shit, I told myself I would more times than I can count. But I just... couldn’t. And I couldn’t tell you either. I wanted to, but I didn’t know how, Elain.”

The sound of my name on his lips makes my heart finally start beating again, but I still call him on his lie. “That isn’t why you never told me. You never told me because you knew I’d hate you the second you did.”

“Maybe,” he admits, looking back up at me. “But now you know, and I’m glad you do. You know everything now.”

It’s my turn to look down, because while I’d wanted to know the real him, I’d never imagined I’d find something like this. 

“No, I don’t. I don’t know anything, because you haven’t explained anything.”

He tilts his head. “What needs explaining?”

I ask the obvious question. “Who do you work for?”

“Myself.”

Once again, I don’t feel like justifying that with a response. He still isn’t saying anything that explains what I saw or why he’d do that to someone. 

If he isn’t going to say anything meaningful, I’m not having this conversation.

Eventually, he seems to realize this. Because he says, “I’m Capo of the Sicilian Outfit of the Cosa Nostra, Elain.”

I bite my lip so hard I taste blood, trying to keep my emotions in check. I don’t know how to feel, other than confused and angry.

“Any other questions?”

“Why did you drug me?”

If he just wanted to talk, he could’ve dragged me back to his place or maybe just say that. Not chase me down like a rapid animal.

“You were panicked, and I didn’t want to hurt you. I needed time to explain, needed to tell you this was never the plan.”

There’s something else there, and I narrow my eyes in a silent demand for him to continue.

Azriel sighs and admits, “My neighbors are business associates-” aka fellow criminals, “and I didn’t want them to hear you yelling and come to... investigate-” aka kill me, “or watch me get knocked unconscious by a twenty-four year old woman with a trash can.”

I give him a smug smile, more than ready to give him a repeat of that show, and try to decide what else to ask. 

But before I get the chance, he says, “I don’t see why this changes anything.”

My mouth falls open.

He doesn’t see- is he serious? “You’re joking.”

“I’m not known for my humor.”

I’m still stunned into silence, so he tilts his head and asks, “Why does it matter? Why does what I do make me a different person?”

When I don’t answer, he says, “It doesn’t. Nothing I do will ever come near you. You won’t ever have to see it again. I promise.” 

“It’s not about seeing it! It’s about knowing what you do when we’re not together. You kiss me goodbye, then go home and... there is absolutely no way I can go back to what we were doing before. You killed someone, Azriel.”

He straightens his cufflinks and shoots back, “He deserved it, Elain.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I have a feeling you’re about to tell me.”

“First off, murder is illegal. So is torture, which from the way that man looked, you’d definitely been inflicting on him. Not only is it illegal, it’s wrong! He was an innocent human being-”

“He wasn’t innocent.”

I keep going. “You aren’t judge, jury, and executioner! You-”

He’s on me before I can finish, sliding a hand over my mouth and leaning over my chair. 

God, the man is fast. Has he always been that fast, or have I just never noticed?

“Let me explain something to you, Elain. On this island, I am. I decide who’s guilty, which he confessed to being. I decide the punishment, which was a bullet to the brain. I’m the executioner, and I pull the trigger myself, because I’m not a fucking coward.”

I fight his hold, trying to push him away, but he doesn’t even budge. 

“I play by different rules, bellissima. Just because you’ve never been exposed to them, or my world, doesn’t mean it hasn’t always existed. I’m the judge, jury, executioner, and the goddamn king.”

A shiver goes down my spine at his words. 

He pushes my head back, forcing me to meet his eyes. “And it doesn’t matter.”

I shake my head, bite his finger, push at his chest. But it doesn’t do any good.

“It doesn’t matter, because like I said, we live in two different worlds. I’d never let mine impact yours.”

I want to tell him that isn’t the problem, but his hand is still on my mouth. 

“Have you even asked yourself why you’re not afraid?” he asks out of the blue, surprising me. 

I stare blankly at him, no longer fighting, waiting for whatever he’s about to say.

“You’re scared of what I do, but you aren’t scared of me. Not really. If you were, you never would’ve come down those stairs.”

That’s why he looked relieved, I realize. He was worried I’d be scared of him.

Everything he’s saying makes sense, which makes no sense at all. 

Because if he’s right, and he certainly seems to think he is, it begs the question... why aren’t I scared of him?

He seems to see my ask myself that, because he answers it a second later.

Eyes growing softer, he murmurs, “It’s because you know I’d never hurt you, nor would I let anyone else.”

I remember him whispering that right before I passed out. I’ll never hurt you. 

He comes so close I can see the individual flecks of green in his dark hazel eyes. “I may do terrible things, and I’d do terrible things for you, Elain, but I’d never do them to you.”

“So you aren’t afraid. Just angry,” he concludes. Then he looks at me like he did the other day in the sea behind his house, right before he called me his. “Do you know why you’re angry, Elain?”

Currently, it’s because he’s explaining my emotions to me, which has to be the most male, obnoxious thing that’s ever happened in all of history.

But I have a feeling that isn’t what he’s talking about.

And I have another feeling that I’m not going to like what he’s about to say.

I take another glance at the look in his eyes and realize what he means, starting to fight again. I push at his chest and hands and try to get him to not say the words I know he’s going to. 

It doesn’t work. 

“You’re upset,” he says a moment later, slow and sure like always, “because I lied to you. You feel betrayed, like you don’t know me. But that isn’t why you’re angry.”

One hand on my face, the other in my hair, he holds me perfectly still as he whispers, “You’re angry because you were falling for me.”

I press my eyes closed, trying not to hear the words he’s saying as if that’ll make them any less true. 

But it doesn’t, because they are true. 

Every easy smile, midnight whisper, and lingering kiss he’s given me in the past month has given him a permanent place in my heart, and it hurts to have that all feel like a lie.

It hurts to look at him and not know if I recognize the person holding me.

A sob escapes me, which seems to confirm what he said, and he takes his hand off my mouth to wipe away a tear. 

His brow comes to rest against mine, and I breathe him in, unable to stop myself. 

There’s a war happening inside me, and it distracts me enough I don’t stop him from pulling me closer.

My heart plays me a montage of the past month, showing me countless moments where I’d been so positive I’d found paradise, so positive I’d found someone I could trust completely. It tells me Azriel has always felt like home, like something so inexplicably right I don’t even know how to describe it.

But my brain reminds me the hands cupping my cheeks softly are covered in blood and gunsmoke and victims’ tears. It tells me I’ve never really known the man I’m currently begging myself not to have feelings for. 

The battle inside of me rages on, and I cry harder, not even knowing who I want to win.

It only gets harder to choose as he murmurs, “Ance io mi sto innamorando di te.”

I’m falling for you, too.

I don’t know what to do or feel or think, and I’m so helplessly confused it makes me want to scream. 

Yet even though I’m confused, something about this makes sense. Something about knowing what he really does for a living makes everything in my head just click.

The way he’d redirect the conversation whenever I asked about his job. The way I’d always suspected him of hiding something about himself from me. The way every movement he’s ever made with me has been lined with restraint.

He could hurt me, has had the opportunity for months, but he never has. He’s always been careful with me, has always held and looked at me like I’m something precious to him.

My brain starts shifting to his side of the argument, and I can feel my morality ripping to shreds under his hands.

Before I can think, I shove him away, getting to my feet to point at the door. “Get out. You lied to me. You’re a murderer. A monster.”

Feelings or not, I know I can’t do this. I can’t just ignore what I saw, what he’ll continue to do. So he needs to leave.

He doesn’t.

Azriel just leans against the kitchen island counter and pulls out a cigarette, lighting it as he watches me for a long moment. 

“Maybe I am,” he says eventually around a mouthful of smoke. “But just because I’m a monster, Elain, doesn’t mean I can’t give you what we both know you need. Nothing has to change.”

It already has.

“I don’t need anything from you.”

“No?”

“No.”

He prowls toward me, the intent shining so clear in his eyes I take a step back for every one he takes forward. My back hits a wall, and he traps me between it and himself, caging me in with strong arms.

The line between right and wrong, good and evil, seems to blur as he gets closer and closer, and by the time we’re sharing air, I don’t know which way is up. All I know is him.

He takes a deep inhale of his cigarette, tips my head back with his thumb, and then breathes the smoke into my mouth. 

It should be disgusting, considering I don’t smoke and make it a point to avoid cancer-causing products in general. 

It should be. But it isn’t.

It’s the opposite of disgusting. 

There’s a buzz in my veins that has nothing to do with the nicotine, and I realize too late that he’s the vice I can’t quit. 

I’m too far gone, too addicted already.

He pulls back slightly, tucking the still-burning cigarette behind his ear. His eyes burn with intensity, and his dark hair and shoulders are surrounded by the smoke clinging to his shoulders like a shadow. 

He looks like the villain of a movie I never even knew I wanted to watch, and it physically pains me to have him this close and not be touching him, so I put my hands on his chest, fingers fisting in the expensive material of his suit.

His are on the wall by my head, bracing himself as he leans in and slowly licks a line across my lower lip, like he’s tasting me. 

My want for him is a tangible thing, and I have to ask myself if he’s right. Does it matter what he does, when he makes me feel like no one else ever has? Do I care enough to stay away from him?

“You don’t need me?” he asks again, so close his lips brush against mine.

I shake my head, even though I know it isn’t the truth. I do need him, and that’s why this hurts so damn bad. Why this betrayal cuts so deep.

Even though we’re so close he’s nothing but a blur, I can feel his eyes on me, burning a hole through me. 

And then he says something that changes everything. 

“Well, I need you,” he whispers, so softly it breaks my heart.

I’m lost.

I’m so goddamn lost in him, I forget everything we were talking about, forget everything he’s done. 

My knees go weak, and I cling to him, pulling him into me as I slip down the wall.

His lips crash against mine, and I know instantly that this is him. This is all of him. I finally know exactly who he is, and he doesn’t have to hide anymore.

It’s probably our hundredth kiss, but it feels like the first, and I’m drunk on it, drunk on him.

Hands in my hair, he kisses me like he wasn’t lying--like he needs me. 

My hands pull tighter, until there’s not an inch between us, and he makes a low sound in his throat. His are on my waist, gripping me tightly and telling me he wants this just as much as I do.

The restraint from before is all but gone, and I tremble at how much power is in his grasp, how small and fragile it makes me feel in comparison. 

My willpower crumples further, like a napkin in his fist, as his tongue teases mine, making me chase him for more.

Azriel pulls my lower lip between his teeth, pulling it between us as he draws back. It’ll be bruised tomorrow, but a sick part of me likes that he’s leaving his mark on me.

“Say it,” he say roughly, voice deep and scratchy with lust.

I don’t get a change to say it, or anything else, before he’s kissing me again, running his hands up my back and into my hair.

“Say it,” he demands again.

Maybe I’m not as lost as I thought, because I know what he wants but stay silent, refusing to give it to him.

Because I can’t.

Everything he said tonight makes sense, but I just... can’t.

He kisses me again, a lingering kiss that makes my chest ache, and almost pleads, “Say it, Elain. Say it doesn’t matter. Say you need me.”

The air grows thick as I stay silent, because it’s response enough.

His eyes narrow, and even though everything inside me begs me to, I don’t stop him as he steps away. 

“Only two more months here, and you want to spend them lying to yourself?”

I hadn’t even thought about the fact that I’m leaving so soon, but I don’t let myself get distracted. “I’m not lying to anyone.”

Except it feels like I am.

A smile pulls on his lips, but it isn’t friendly. “You’re fucking lying, and you know it. You know it doesn’t matter, you just can’t admit it, because then you’d be like me.”

Heart pounding, I shake my head, but he keeps going. “Fucking a monster would be condoning the devil’s work, right?”

He takes a step in, catching my wrists as I try to push him back, pinning them above my head, and laughing. 

“You saying you don’t want me is the most pathetic lie I’ve ever heard, carro. ”

“Azriel-”

Mouth next to my ear, he growls, “You’re really telling me if I slip my hand between your pretty thighs, I won’t find you wet and ready for me?”

I push against his hands and look away, all the confirmation he needs. 

He tsks, feigning disappointment. 

I close my eyes and fight my response to him with everything I have. I try to tell myself it matters, that what he does disgusts me, but it doesn’t sound believable to even myself at this point.

“I could prove it to you, make you come right here and now, but I don’t think I will.”

I’m breathing heavily, two seconds from passing out at the intensity and violence in his voice. 

“I think the next time I fuck you, Elain, you’re going to have to tell me you need me just as much as I need you. You’re going to tell me you want me, and you’re going to beg me for more.” He licks up the side of my neck, and I press my lips together to hold in the moan that wants to escape. “You’re going to tell the goddamn truth, and you’re going to fucking apologize for lying to me in the first place.”

I glare at him, silently conveying that that will never happen. He lied to me. I’m not apologizing for shit.

He sees that and everything else in my gaze, and he shakes his head slowly. 

“I’ll get your confession, Elain,” he promises, going to the door and almost ripping it off its hinges as he opens it. “I always do.”

___________________________________________________

Part 4

@perseusannabeth @cursebreaker29 @a-bit-of-a-cactus @elriel4life @girl-who-reads-the-books @shinya-hiiragi @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @bamchickawowow @live-the-fangirl-life @ireallyshouldsleeprn @nahthanks @highqueenofelfhame @autophobiax @rowaelinismyotp @ghostlyrose2 @lovemollywho @inardour @tillyrubes10 @claralady @tswaney17 @rowanisahunk @superspiritfestival @thegoddessofyou @awesomelena555 @booksofthemoon @greerlunna @jlinez @studyliketate @over300books @justgiu12 @maastrash @aesthetics-11 @b00kworm @sleeping-and-books @musicmaam @hizqueen4life @maybekindasortaace @elorcan-trash @loosingdreams @januarystears @emikadreams @swankii-art-teacher @thedarkdemigod @full-tilt-diva @biggestwingspan-az @bookstantrash @mari-highladyof-feels @pilesofriles @teddytdr

[babymilkcxw]

Only one you’ll ever need pt.2: Got7Mafia!Jinyoung x BlackFemale!reader

TW!:SMUT , Mentions of Daddy issues, Slight daddy kink, OVERSTIMULATION, BULGE KINK, THROAT FUCKING, small age gap, Dom!jinyoungxsub!Blackfemalereader, Mentions of mafias, mentions of murder, He’s also a tad bit manipulative but like not in a completely BAD way it’s more of like a “I’m the only guy you’ll ever need” Idek if that counts as manipulative but I shall put it in the TW🥸

You slowly open your eyes one at a time and peak at him. The joy you feel when you see jinyoung is indescribable. He looks unharmed and really calm, but you notice his hands are stained red. You then look down at your clothes and notice you’ve changed out of your school clothes, not remembering changing clothes. “You ok baby? Do you know who i am?”, jinyoung says turning his head to look at you. Again, you don’t respond still in a very lethargic state. Jinyoung sighs and pulls over to the side of the road, turning to face you. “Please answer me baby, are you ok?” You still don’t meet his eyes, too busy looking out the window wondering where you guys were. “Where are you taking me?”, you question. You look in the backseat and see your vacation bags packed, along with a bloodstained towel and a hand gun. You swing your head back to jinyoung and he’s staring deep into your eyes, “what’s going on?!” Jinyoung leans forward and takes your cheek in his hand, his hand smells like blood. He takes his thumb and swipes it across your bottom lip and sticks his thumb in your mouth, you slowly suck on his thumb as he smiles down at you. “Don’t you trust me baby? You know daddy would never hurt you.”, he said. You pull away from him and look down at your lap and you feel your cheeks heating up at the name he gave himself. You nod your head and he chuckles deeply and leans back in his seat. “Baby I gotta get you out of this area for a little bit, there’s some bad men who wanna take you away from me and I can’t let that happen.”, he explains, waiting for your reaction. You look up at him and say, “of course I trust you.” He smiles widely and laughs out a “that’s my girl.” He then starts the car again and you guys start driving down the road again. You’re awake for about 30 more minutes and then sleep takes over and you drift off into a peaceful sleep.

“Baby we’re here.”, you hear jinyoung say as he gently shakes you awake. you get out of the car and see you guys have arrived at a cabin deep in the woods. He tells you to go inside and shower and he’ll set everything up. You get inside and it’s surprisingly big inside and very homey, you search for the bedroom and find that the bathroom is connected.

You’re finally out of the shower and you see jinyoung has laid you out a fresh pair of his clothes for you to wear and your bonnet. Exhausted, you don’t even bother looking for jinyoung as you lay in bed and drift off to sleep. Youre not sure how long you’ve been sleep when youre suddenly awoken by the smell of jinyoungs body wash and the light from the bathroom shining in your eyes.

You sit up in the bed and see him only wearing sweatpants. Something stirs inside of you at the sight of his print through his sweatpants and the gold chain around his neck with his wet hair dripping down his shoulders. He sees you staring at him and smirks at you, he climbs into bed next to you and pulls you against him. You tense up at the feeling of his bare back against you and the feeling of his half

Hard dick pressing into your ass. He notices you getting nervous and chuckles out,” baby it’s just me you don’t have to be nervous.” You try and relax until you feel him kiss behind your ear, and then he licks a long stripe from your neck to the back of your ear. You let out a moan accidentally and writhe against him. You’re definitely not a virgin but you get so nervous being next to him, and any time you guys have a heated moment you stop, but this time is different. Your turn around so your facing him and he licks his lips before kissing you, he then takes your hand in his and places it on his hard on. “You feel that baby? God you make me so hard.” You start stroking his cock through his pants and he instructs you to get on your back. He pulls your pants and underwear down with your consent and blows air on your clit. “ what’s the safe word princess?” “Red” He takes two of his fingers and sticks them in your mouth and you swirl your tongue around them, he then slides his fingers into your tight brown pussy and starts pumping them in and out. “God you’re so tight.”, he moans out. He then speeds up his pace and soon you are Cumming on his fingers, but he doesn’t stop there, he then lays down and forces your legs apart and starts sucking on your clit, at the same time he thrusts his fingers in and out of your pussy. “Daddy please slow down I need a break.”, you moan out. He stops sucking on your clit to say, “awwweee baby are you tired? Yea? Cum on my tongue one more time then I’ll decide if you deserve a break.” He immediately picks up the pace with his fingers and starts sucking your clit. Your legs start to shake and he has to hold your legs down as you cum on his tongue. “ good girl” he says. He starts to pull his pants and boxers down and he instructs you to get on all fours as he stands in front of the bed pumping his cock up and down. He motions you to get closer to him, you grab his cock and you can only fit half of it in your mouth. “Awe come on baby you can fit more than that”, he fake pouts. Jinyoung grabs the base of your neck, careful to not pull your bonnet off and thrusts into your mouth, you gag and choke on his dick but don’t pull away , you wanted to please him. He continues to thrust until you’re crying and spit is dripping down your chin. He cums done your throat and instructs you to swallow it. You open your mouth to show you’ve swallowed it like a good girl and he kisses your forehead. He flips you onto your stomach and gets on top of you smacking your ass in the process. he spreads your cheeks to see your dripping pussy just waiting to be fucked. he warns you he’s going to put it in, and he moans as he starts to push his dick in. You grip the sheets as you feel the stretch of his cock opening you up. “ omg you’re so big”, you moan out. He moans back in response and starts to thrust really hard and deep. He lifts you up and presses his hand against your lower stomach and feels his cock rearrange your guts. “ mm baby you feel that? You feel daddy in your lil tummy?”, he says. You arch your back into his chest and let out a choked sob as he starts thrusting really fast and hard, hitting your g spot every time. He reaches one hand around to grab onto your neck and uses the other one to rub your clit. “ god I love you baby. I’ll never let anyone take you from me ever again, I’m the only one you’ll ever fucking need ok?”, he whispers into your ear. You nod and whimper out an “ok” as he goes even harder. He grabs your hands and intertwines his hands with yours as you squirt all over his cock. He keeps abusing your pussy chasing his own release as you writhe under him trying to recover, it’s almost too much for you. It feels so good you think you’re going crazy so You start pulling away from him but he grabs your hips and pins you down asking if you feel green , red, or yellow. You tell him green and he wraps his arms around your body and thrusts rapidly into you. “ please cum inside me!”, you yell at him. “ I didn’t know you were this dirty, u want daddy to cum inside of you baby? He wants you to beg

for him to cum inside you. You moan out a “yes please!” And you feel him cum inside you. He pulls out as soon as he’s done and grabs his phone and takes a picture of his cum leaking out of you. “Don’t worry this is for safe keeping. Nobody can see my pussy but me.”, he reassures you. All you can do is nod your head as you curl up in a ball ready to sleep. He cleans you both up and slips his shirt over your head and puts his sweats back on and pulls you against him. “Baby?” , he asks. “Hm?” You weakly respond back. “I love you so much. I’m so sorry I caused all of this. I claim I’m the only man you’ll ever need but I almost lost you today.” , he confesses. You turn over and face him hugging his torso and say, “ I know. I love you too. Let’s get some sleep.” You both doze off to sleep with smiles on yalls faces not knowing what tomorrow brings but content with having each other.

[vanilla-vivillon]

"we're exes and we meet again" maybe?

Oooooooooh interesting!!! I decided to do a Genya Safin x David Kostyk one because I haven’t done that yet for some reason

Also college AU yes please.

Genya Safin knows what she wants

And what she wants is to get through her studies

Become a plastic surgeon

Support her friends

Maybe get a cat

What she doesn’t want is to meet her high school ex at a party

She doesn’t want to talk with him for hours

She doesn’t want to relive the hurt

But the universe never does care for what we want does it

“C’mon Nazyalensky it will be fun!” Nikolai was trying to convince Zoya to come to the party he was throwing in his dorm

Nikolai was throwing a party to celebrate the start of there third year at Stanford

“Nikolai there is a lot of studying we should be doing instead of drinking our cares away” Zoya shot back

“Genya, love, please knock some sense into Zoya?”

“It could be fun, plus the school year started two weeks ago. No profesor is going to assign a big test anytime soon” Genya said

“You have never met Proffesor Baghra” Zoya said Speeding up

They were all walking to the dormitories together

Zoya was studying law. She wants to be a lawyer

“Are you really gonna let some old hag with a stick up her ass ruin your fun?” Genya retorted stopping in front of them

After a long pause zoya finnally relents and says “Fine. I’ll go, but for you, that way your not stuck with Alina and Mals drama”

Ever since Alina started screwing the professor with the the dreamy dark eyes and looked far to good to ever be a professor, mal had been insufferable

Flashing his million dollar smile Nikolai turned towards Zoya “I knew you would see sense”

“Now leave my sight before I change my mind” Nikolai sped off towards his dorm no doubt to finish preparations for tonight

Genya typically enjoyed parties

Cool people, cool music, cool boys

The list went on

Reapplying her deep red lipstick Genya turned towards her roommate Alina

Alina Starkov was a foster kid bouncing around homes in a small town, Keramzin.

She and her friend Mal felt so out of place in California

Genya helped her a lot in the first year and after some drama in there second year friendship was finally back on track

“Okay how do I look?” Genya asked giving a little spin

She chose a short red dress with a black leather jacket and thigh high black boots

“You look Perfect” Alina complimented finishing up on her own eyeliner

“Of course I do”

Alina laughed that fluttery sound that had become far to rare these days

“Listen Alina, I’m worried about you”

Alina took a pause before answering “I’m fine Genya”

“Alina you’re sleeping with your professor”

“So what!” Alina snapped “We’re both adults! Besides I don’t want to talk about this tonight, let’s just go to the party”

Genya let out a sigh

Sometimes Alina could be the most stubborn woman on earth

“Fine”

Loud music was blaring through the speakers Nikolai borrowed from Mal

Genya was socializing with some of her friends

While Genya did like parties the constant people was always a little stressful for her

So after giving some dating advice Genya went to go grab some beer

Pouring it Genya reflected

She was doing well in her classes, most of her friends were okay, she personally didn’t have a cat but across the hall from her is some dude Harshaw who did

one thing was missing

Him

Journals and glasses and caramel candies

Genya had been in love once in her life

And it’s seemed once was all she would ever get

“Oh sorry!” Genya exclaimed accidently spilling beer on someone

Looking up she lost her breath

There he was

All brown hair and wide eyes and sunkissed skin

And all the memories came crashing back

Geny first fell in love with him in the sixth grade

Well not love really

More like awe.

Back then he was really into legos

He built this giant airplane that Genya thought was so cool

But they first talked in seventh grade

They were partners in a group project

David hadn’t been very interested in Genya then

But Genya even then loved the way his brain worked

But she never said anything

In there sophomore year of high school after years of being friends Genya finally got the courage and told him her feelings

David was so suprised then he had to leave the room and come back two minutes later to say he reciprocated her feelings

They started dating and were inseparable

Whenever David had been pulling an all nighter on some new idea she would go over to his house and bring him some Carmel candies

Whenever she raved on about this new surgery technique he would listen and give her that soft beautiful smile he rarely showed anyone

But there happiness came crashing down in senior year

David was going to go to MIT all the way in Massachusetts while Genya wanted to go to Stanford in California since she was a kid

At first they were going to do long distance

But it didn’t work out

They both got busy

And didn’t talk

And Genya hated having a boyfriend who was never there

There was never some big fight

Never some big cheating scandal

One day Genya posted a picture of her on a date with the cute classmate who winked at her and that was that

They never saw each other again

But that might change tonight where she met those impossible chocolate eyes again

“What are you doing here?” Genya said after her shock

“Genya, I…. I live here” David said stuttering

Clearly he was just as suprised as she was

“Hey Genya you meet my new roommate David!” Suddenly Nikolai appeared “He just transferred from MIT”

Transferred

He transferred

David Kostyk transferred to Stanford

The one who got away was standing right in front of her

“Do you two know each other?” Nikolai asked sensing the tension

Ignoring him, Genya said “would you like to talk outside?”

After knowing David for years Genya knew she should probably initiate conversation

David gave a slow nod ignoring his roommate’s bewildered face

Walking outside they turned to each other again

He had gotten cuter if that was even possible

“So…. You transferred?” Genya attempted to start talking

“MIT was great, but it felt kinda isolating. So when Nikolai suggested transferring… I took him up on the offer”

Oh

Oh

That made sense

David always had a hard time making friends

In high school Genya practically had to force him into her friend group

It mustve be hard all alone

Genya was the opposite

Although all through elementary school she was ruthlessly bullied and sophomore year of college was complicated, she had always been able to make friends

“Well I’m glad your here now” Genya said looking away to hide her blush

“I think I’m glad to”

David and Genya talked the whole night

About there studies and friends

Genya couldn’t way to introduce him to Alina

They had a lot in commmon

Things between the two weren’t perfect

But then again in matters of the heart it never was

Genya wasn’t sure of what she wanted

But if she had a Carmel loving genius by her side she might be able to be okay with that

Omg it’s finally done. This has to be one of the most difficult things I’ve written. I didn’t enjoy it at all but I’m really glad I went through with it. Thank you @ninamorozova and @confused-as-all-hell for encouraging me to complete this.

Thank you @wafflesandschemingfaces for the prompt

If yall really like this I might make a part two with David’s perspective

Please reblog. Likes are nice but te logs actually help

My ask box is open and I take any Grishaverse requests