#also Zelda would be so great with kids I mean listen to her

[gaylactic-fire]

TOTK made a lot of stupid decisions but actually Zelda becoming a teacher was the most galaxy brained idea ever and I (almost) forgive the writing team for that decision alone.

[ganondoodle]

so, doing this as an extra post bc i dont want to spam op nor invite more disaster into their post (sorry)

(i get annoyed, i get frustrated, but i rarely get pissed off, so if this sounds aggressive to you, it is; i have had enough of arguing with people -even if most of that arguing has happened on twitter-)

someone had replied (and later apparently deleted) something along the lines of "well zelda wanted to restore hyrule at the end of botw and what is so bad about ganondorf always being the bad guy in the way that he is?"

so first off, while i know hyrule and KINGDOM of hyrule is often used as an equally interchangeable word to refer to the world there, i dont think she meant the kingdom or its or its monarchy when she said that (does she? i dont have the end in my head rn and pretty sure its a lil different than english anyway) and much more the LAND of hyrule, its still in shambles even if people have found ways to live with it- that is an interpretation of me mostly, you can think what you want in that regard idc

secondly .... im not gonna get into that rant bc you cannot be seriosuly asking what is bad about how ganondorf is presented, treated in the games (espeically in totk) and his role and "writing" (oh geez i dont know maybe all the racism and stereotypes?? also, frankly boring ass writing, if your villain can be replaced by a cloud of toxic goo incapable of speech and nothing would change except saving money for voice actors that dont fit the role that is not a great look- hes never gotten much but totk is a new low)

then theres this reply

astro-shark3113 replied: "You're kidding right? If she cared about reinstating the monarchy then why is the castle still in disrepair after five years? Why does she become a teacher and live in a cottage with her boyfriend instead of taking on duties as princess? She clearly wants to help people and be a leader but she can do that without wanting to be a Queen. Please be real"

i am not kidding and i AM being real, i think you need to look at the game without your rose tinted glasses for a second; the castle is still in ruin? what the hell do you expect, theres no soldiers and very few servants left, repairing anything is quite impossible in that time and frankly not a priority (not proof of her not caring lol) also there is a plan for it at the very least given the camps with the hyrule crest all over it in the ruins of castle town- we dont SEE her as a teacher, or living a "normal" life, that happens in between the game, its flavor text, what HAPPENS in the game is her being taught a lessson on who she needs to be and what hyrule needs to be (pretty in your face too, she gets sent to paradise past of the "first" king that is some supposedly godly thing from the HEAVENS and watches him and his queen die at the hands of the eviiil guy, the last scene in the game mimics perfectly the scene where everyone that god king got under his rule swears undying loyalty to her ffs); she does live in that house, but what other option is there, set up camp in the collapsing throne room all alone?? nigh everyone from that time is long dead and the only one she actually knows is link who happens to have a house (bc impa doesnt care i guess idk), with her ""boyfriend"" is also interesting, a "boyfriend" that apparently is locked in the basement, lives in the woods or straight up dematerlializes when theres no big bad in need of stabbing bc why the hell does no one fucking know him in hateno??? not even the kids that come to the house EVERY SINGLE DAY?? and taking on duties as a princess, she very much does? just bc she doesnt get physically carried around in a castle doesnt mean she isnt doing royal stuff (also, again, that happens BETWEEN the games, not actually in totk), she still sees herself as the princess, everyone calls her that, she herself calls herself that (if the memorial stones are anything to go by) and everyone listens to the most overtly stupid and nonsensical stuff that zelda puppet says (even her friends follow that order without even asking back???) after over 100 years of there not being a kingdom as such its pretty weird how everyone immediately, even the ones not alive for the calamity event, snaps into blindly following her orders

"she can still lead without being a queen", did we play the same game?? totk? TEARS of the KINGDOM?? (its zeldas tears, she IS the kingdom) that game?? the game couldnt be more directly telling you that its whole point is that royal family holy and good and how much everyone has to sacrifice to uphold the holy kingdom bc its the only thing that keeps evil man from overtaking it!! including turnign herself into a farmable, glorified stone pedestal for the entirety of the actual game and then that sacrifice not meanign shit bc she just gets deus ex machina'd back (i didnt need her to stay a dragon, though it would have been the better choice if she still didnt get an active part in the game i would kill for her to have been a capable companion instead of the stupid ghost sages, and you dont even get to actually do anything for it, it just happens), not even the nuclear pebble is lost, how great! she and everyone else that is a leader of their people has a nuclear pebble now!! they will not let a bad evil man be a threat ever again!! like the point to bring her back in that utterly unsatisfying way is that otherwise the royal line wouldnt exist anymore, its a blessing of her ancient ancestors!! woohooo!!

and the thing is, i LIKE botw zelda, i liked her character, that she wasnt the typically maiden princessy type, her struggle (even if i find the way she unlocked her powers lame), i do NOT like totk zelda, after the intro of the game she is a princessy maiden standing prettily at the side of the god king that rules the only thing keeping evil at bay, the level of how much totk disrespects her makes me mad on her behalf but i have ranted about that alone enough as well

and with this i am DONE talking about this game, i have ranted so much about it, made my points carefully clear over and over, said that i dont have the nerves left to be nice anymore about it given how much shit alone on twitter i had to live through just bc i dared mildly critisizing the damn game, if you comment some snarky "be real" thing again im just gonna go straight to blockign people bc i am done with this

[muchmossymess]

GUYS okay hear me out majoras mask boat boys au

I love legend of zelda I love boat boys this is like the ultimate combination of my interests you cannot understand the brainrot. Idk what to call it yet tho... majoras minecraft? Anyway prepare for an essay

OKAY so we have the Hero of Time, Etho, who stopped ganons plans before they started, and would be stuck in a child's body if not for the fact I think that'd be a lil weird for the more shippy aspects of this au that all the running through time aged his soul and his body followed suit (he's still got a young appearance, and the mask doesn't make him look older like he thinks). Same reason he has the scar over his eye (from the ganon fight); no matter how much the body may heal or rewind the mind will not forget.

Then navi (maybe bdubs?) left him, and he went with epona (maybe bdubs instead? (eponas a horse iydk)) and he sets out on a journey aka the beginning of mm:

Wandering through the woods on epona, gets jumped by skull kid. For those unaware, there is skull kid, a lonely lil sweetheart, and he wears the mask, an entity on its own. He also has two fairies, siblings tael and tatl.

So I was a little unsure about this for a while, but I think I've decided on grian for the skull kid and Jimmy for tael, grian bc watchers and Jimmy bc skull kid is not very nice to tael (bc of the mask) and like a listeners reference or smth blah blah blah

TATL. that's who's interesting. At the beginning she gets separated from her friends and becomes your companion. So naturally for this au she is our favourite joel smallishbeans. It works so well. Tatl is mean but cares, and that's joels dynamic with the bad boys and with etho, guys it's literally perfect idc what you say

I think it doesn't change much throughout like the story of the game, but just taking dialogue tatl says to link and its so perfect for a sassy joel to a "can't believe I'm dealing with this shit again" etho. Uh one thing different though; in hylian form etho doesn't have an ocarina but instead a mini marimba. Just because. I think it's cool, and for potential things later on.

Now, fairies in this au are just tiny glowing people shaped things with wings. The glow around them is their magic, and depending on emotions/energy the brightness changes (thats why they look like flying balls of light). Some fairies have the ability to make projections of themselves, more hylian sized in nature. This can be intimidation or distraction or w/e, but they cant do it for long periods of time bc its exhausting. These forms aren't physical. Just sized up light projections of their actual bodies.

So for a lot of their journey, joel is just a cute pocket sized ball of rage and sarcasm, who helps with ethos aim for fighting. Bc that's a game mechanic and also ethos like half blind. But like when joel calms down imagine him crawling into ethos hat and just dozing off. He can fit in the palm of your hand like guys it's so cute. But he is also capable of being worse than a mozzie

Oh probably a good point to put in what I imagine etho looks like. So it's typical link green (maybe a bit dampened?), weird pointy hat, short hair (white ofc), his shirt is more of a jacket with a fluffy cold weather collar, it's a bit too big for him but he knows he'll grow into it, he's all knobbly and thin (underfed a lil, boy was never taught how to care for himself beyond basic survival). His injured eye is red bc of ganon, and often gives him phantom pains. It can't be healed.

Anyway, at some point in their journey together, etho and joel learn a song that let's fairies have a larger physical form, no wings, sorta like the great fairies (who they learnt it from prolly). It isn't permanent, slowly draining ethos magic meter, the spell ends when you run out of magic. This is because I want them to actually be able to stand side by side or maybe hug, and also bc its hard to block a blow with your body when ur tennis ball sized.

Aaaaand, this ties back in with with marimba. What if ethos injured, or unconscious, and he obviously can't defend himself, so joel panics and plays the marimba in what he hopes is the right order to give himself a body. I imagine that being that small, you could not play an ocarina. And hey maybe joel carries etho away after that, and when the spell ends he has barely any light emitting from himself because he spent nearly all his magic (what he is made of) saving etho.

But this song isn't used much, because of its draining nature, and you can't really do any other magic things while it's going. So it's mostly just in the final fight (over and over) or tough moments or maybe joel wants to experience something like hoe hylians do. It's obviously inferior to how he experiences things as a fairy, of course, he's just curious thats all. He totally doesn't want etho to do it more.

Okay I think ill sorta stop here, I am NOT done, I will probably post some art I've done for this later lol, and I want help with who everyone else is (mumbo is the moon. You cannot stop me nor change my mind) with mcyts to npcs

[science-lings]

You all know how I like to make botw Link a nerd when it comes to potions and botany but I have now decided that it would also be neat if he was also more interested in mechanics and physics than he seems, like even before the calamity. 

I mean, just imagine, this kid who since the age of four has been naturally great at fighting, the latest in a long line of royal knights, his path only being reinforced when he’s discovered to be the reincarnation of the hero, his duty to the crown being reinforced in his head for years and years, and maybe at first he thinks that he and Zelda would get along due to their similar interests. But she immediately hates him for the sword on his back. 

So every time he escorts her to the royal tech lab, he desperately wants to participate and tinker but he’s just a guard, and all he can do is listen. He loves it when she rambles about what she’s doing and he finds it all fascinating but it’s also been fused to his being that he’s just a soldier meant to gladly die for her and his thoughts don’t really matter. 

Then, when he comes back from the dead, in a room full of mysterious ancient tech, the first thing he’s given is the sheikah slate. And the whole theme of the game is curiosity and discovery and exploration and why should that be limited to just the world? He should be so excited to get the runes and learn how to use them and be baffled by how they defy the laws of physics. He takes pictures and figures out puzzles and has a blast working through problems with the tools he’s given. (also the implied building mechanic in totk... you cannot tell me that he’s not super hyped about making his own car) 

He would think that the champions dlc would be totally worth it when he’s given the master cycle zero, he even gives it the new name of Vah Epona. He powers it with his near infinite supply of apples as if it were a living horse and balances zooming around with teleporting to shrines because that’s just as exciting. 

But in the end he’s still supposed to be the hero, so he can’t stay to talk about tech with Robbie and Purah, he’s happy with waiting for those lectures until Zelda is freed, he has a feeling she’d be interested in it too. 

[funkybotwstuff]

milbert-maggot

Hi! I'm not sure if your still taking requests, but if so, can you do something like: your Links younger sister (like 12-13 years old) and meeting the champions/how the champions would react to her and how they would like you. idk this was just a random idea I had, it's okay if you can't write it! <3

School year’s over, so finally some time to get back to requests! Thank you @milbert-maggot for the request 😎 I adore this concept, so hope you enjoy these! 

Urbosa: 

Let’s start with the most motherly one of the group!

She was pleasantly surprised that Link had a younger sister in the first place since he never really brought you up in conversation at all

Then again, he’s not too much of a talker in the first place

She’s got a good sense of humor about it too; she’d poke fun at Link for a second for never mentioning what a sweet little sister he has

She’d adore you so much it’s not even funny

Urbosa would take you under her wing immediately and vow to protect you should Link not be there for some reason, especially since you’re a young girl and particularly vulnerable considering the current state of Hyrule with monsters running amuck

Very gentle and easygoing around you, and incredibly patient to boot

So much so that she’d playfully excuse any minor mistakes you make, but turn it into a learning experience at the same time

After all, you’re just a kid, but you still need to learn the ins and outs of everything to grow into a well rounded person

She’s willing to listen to your input on situations and believes it’s important to do so as it builds a stronger bond between the two of you and helps build trust in her

She likes to listen to any interests that you’re inclined to tell her to keep you entertained and distracted from the massive issue at hand (AHEM Calamity Ganon)

Urbosa’s also encouraging!

She understands that it’s difficult having a loved one constantly leaving to serve a duty to protect Hyrule (as the Hero of Hyrule no less), so she’s very much sympathetic in that regard

She’ll often ask about Link as well, saying things such as “He is a good brother, is he not?” and sometimes asking about how he is at home to gauge what he’s truly like as a person 

Urbosa knows it’s hard to “follow in the footsteps” of a Goddess-blessed highly skilled knight, so she whittles down any extreme expectations you might have about yourself or that others bestow upon you and reaffirms that it is best to be your own person and strive for the greatness only you can achieve

Hey, it might seem heavy for a kid, but she’s aware of the impacts expectations have on young people

I mean, have you seen Zelda? And Link for that matter. Hell, even Revali

She’s supportive too, like if you told her that you wanted to be a knight just like your big brother? Absolutely! Fight for what you believe in! You want to make a living as a tailor one day? Fantastic, she’s all about it. Baker? Stablehand? Jeweler? Blacksmith? She’s sure you’d be amazing at any of these

As long as you put in the work of course!

She’d definitely take you on sand seal rides! Urbosa would let you stand on the same shield she’s on so you don’t fall off

Oh, and as a bonus: she’d absolutely take you for sunset rides on Vah Naboris with Link’s permission

Daruk:

Daruk would honestly be really excited to find out that Link has a little sister

The more, the merrier after all!

He'll be like that one cool uncle that gives you piggyback rides and roughhouses with you and is just an all around chill dude

Link would probably have to stop Daruk and intervene before he does anything reckless though, because I just KNOW he’d try to give you some prime rock roast with Goron spice as a treat or try to teach you the values of Goron wrestling to get big and strong

He means well, he just forgets how fragile Hylians can be from time to time

Otherwise, he’s a really gentle dude around you (if not nervous about accidentally hurting you) and of course he’d protect you at any cost

Because if he wasn’t gentle, goddess forbid he’d give you one of those back slaps that’d totally send you out into orbit 💀

Honestly, Daruk would just give you a Goron-kid-sized Cobble Crusher as a surefire way to defend yourself if you weren’t in the presence of Link or the other Champions

A for effort, Daruk, but perhaps giving a 12 year old Hylian something meant for a Goron kid might not be the most productive

He’d probably give you a nickname like he does with Link and Zelda, something like Tiny Hylian or flat out call you Kid

He’d be talking about your relationship with Link too like “It must be awesome to have Link as yer big brother, he must give the best piggybacks. Y’know, I’m sure you’re a big help to the little guy at home!”

He would absolutely constantly be coming up with new jokes to tell you to make sure you’re happy and definitely not bored

It’s illegal to be bored around Daruk! He’s the life of the party

Daruk would have so many stories to tell you! Everything from battles to tasty rock feasts to life near Death Mountain, he can guarantee that he’ll keep you entertained for hours

Always accompanies you on walks. It’s always nice to have a huge Goron bodyguard as your buddy!

Revali:

So the Hylian Champion whom he already dislikes has a KID sister?! Oh boy.

This is just not a good mix really. You're screwed either way. Good luck girl

You were doomed to be his least favourite (aside from Link) from the start. I mean, he's all about being stoic and stern, so adding a kid to the bunch does not sit well with him

It’s not a secret that he wouldn’t be the biggest fan of you from the start, it's written all over his face: rolling eyes, sighing every other time you talk… yeah, it's obvious to tell

If Link brought you along to a Champion’s meeting, Revali wouldn’t be thrilled to say the least. In fact, he'd oppose it greatly

“A child should not be concerned with our business. Really, did you think this through?”

Suffice to say he’d try to ignore you ಠ ೧ ಠ so get used to being brushed aside and ignored if you tried to initiate any sort of bond

He has a moral obligation to keep you safe (can't taint his reputation by letting a kid get hurt while he's around), but frankly doesn't want to spend time following you around and making sure you don't accidentally kill yourself

In his mind, that's solely Link's responsibility, seeing as he brought you to this probably confidential and no nonsense Champions meeting in the first place…but he'll (reluctantly) look after you if no one else can step up to the plate

He wouldn't be very talkative around you should you happen to be alone together

The most you'd initially get out of him is something along the lines of "Don't stray too far," Or "I won't follow you if you slink away, so you better be careful, or else."

He'd also say things like "I would advise you not to try my patience", but in reality, it's mostly a bluff

I say 'mostly' in the way that he can't legitimately do anything bad to you, but he WILL smack talk you into compliance

If he ever brought up his disdain for Link around you and you proceed to tell him off, he'd just start bickering back

He'd respond sardonically if you were ever snarky to him. It's childish to retort like that, so he wouldn't do this in front of anyone else. But in his mind, he's just claiming the high ground over some snooty child.

And if you touched his feathers out of curiosity, he'd recoil and tell you off

Honestly, you'd be able to break through and charm him with your little kid spunk given enough time

He'll deny it if prompted, but he'll slowly get accustomed to your presence

After a while, he'll still act dismissive of you, but he cares more than he lets on

Eventually, he'd just start acting like a cynical big brother to you and he'll maaaaybe let you touch his feathers without chewing you out

Who knows? If you manage to really get through to him, then he may comply with giving you a little flying tour of the Tabantha region 👀

Mipha:

Did someone say sisterly love??? Well I did, and that's what you're getting from Mipha

Because of Link's past with Mipha, there's a very high chance that the two of you got acquainted when you were pretty young and continued to build up a relationship from there

Mipha is a welcoming girl with a kind and polite persona, and you'd be no exception to her sweetness

With your history together, she would definitely act as a surrogate big sister type to you

And since she's got so much experience having a younger sibling, she'd practically be an expert on how to keep you entertained and focused

She'd be very encouraging towards you because you feel safe sharing things with her that would feel too personal for the other Champions to hear

If you were at a Champions meeting, there's no doubt that you'd mostly cling to Mipha since she's the only other familiar face around (other than Link of course)

She would also be a tad overprotective of your whereabouts. She wouldn't be suffocating God no, but she would be worried about how you're faring

Mipha would make sure you'd be in arms length of the group since she's aware that the current state of Hyrule is no place for a child to get lost in

She's just anxious about keeping you safe and secure. You're a pretty important person

Commenting about how much you're growing would probably be an almost monthly occurrence. She's been her short stature for a while, so seeing you sprout like a weed is exciting

If you hung onto her hand, she'd swing her arm back and forth while you walk like you do when you walk with Link. She's subconsciously adapted some of the mannerisms that Link has towards you

She also likes to talk with Link about arranging potential play dates between you and Sidon for a bit of cute little kid bonding time

Overall, she just really likes having you around like you're the little sister she never had

[animefankotaro]

South Park Trans Karen One Shot

There was another fight going on at the McCormick's house. Stuart and Carol were yelling at each other as the kids tried not to listen. This time they were fighting over who's' fought it was that their son Kristian was wearing girls cloths and playing with a doll.

“All's I wanna know is how he got those!” Stuart yelled.

“How the hell should I know? Unlike you I'm actually trying to run things around here. I can't keep en eye on the kids all the damn time!” Carol also yelled.

“Well he had to get them somewhere. If he stole them then we'll be in some deep shit!”

“We've been in deep shit for years now. This place is a dump and so are our lives!”

Kristian couldn't take it anymore. He ran out the room crying into his and Kevin's room.

“Oh great. So he's a cry baby too.” Stuart put his arms in the air.

“Maybe it's your fought that you ran out of testosterone for the kids.”

Kenny shook his head and followed his little brother to his room. When he entered he didn't see him at first but then he heard a cry coming from the closet. He opened the closet and Kristian looked up scared. When he saw it was Kenny he calmed down. Kenny saw what he was scared about. He was wearing a dress again and clutching the doll. Kenny sat by him and rubbed his head.

“Mommy and daddy hate me.” Kristian said still crying.

“No. No they don't hate you. They're just a little shocked is all. That and all the stress and drinking too.”

“Do you think mommy and daddy will get a divorce?”

“No. Even though they can't stand each other at times they both know they can't live apart. They need each other.”

“I wish are families were like some of the others. Kyle seems to have a nice family.” Kenny chuckled a little. Sure, they were nice overall but his family was probably crazier then theirs. If anything their family were more of the more rational ones. Kenny tried to think of the more level headed people here. Possibly Heidi and her parents. The Testaburger's weren't that weird. He wasn't sure about Wendy though. Tokens family as well. He tried to think of more but was interrupted by his brother.

“Kenny.” Kristian said wiping some tears away.

“Hmm.” Kenny looked at him.

“Do you think I would be a good sister?” Kenny raised an eyebrow.

“A good sister?” Kristian nodded. “Yeah. I think you would. You would be a great sister.”

“Would I be a good daughter?” Kenny thinks he knows where this is going now. He nodded.

“Yes. You would.”

“Would...would I make a good girl?”

“You are a good girl.”

“I-I don't wanna be a boy. I think I'm a girl.” Kenny smiled.

“You know what. I think you're a girl too.”

“Really?” Kristian looked at his brother surprised.

“You were always more of a sister anyway. I think you're right. You are a girl.”

“I didn't steal these too. My friend at school let me borrow them. She knows I'm a girl.”

“Who?” Kenny asked.

“Tricia. My best friend.” Kristian smiled.

Oh yes, Craig's little sister. Kenny never talked or saw her that much. He was happy to know she was willing to help her friend. He wondered it this had anything to do with Craig and Tweek being a couple. “Kenny.” Kristian interrupted his thoughts again.

“Hmm.”

“Are you like me too?”

“What do you mean?”

“I've seen you wear a dress too. That Princess Zelda dress. Do you want to be a girl too?”

Kenny only wore that dress when he was playing with the guys. Stan and Kyle found it amusing though Cartman made fun of him at first. Kenny reminded him the times he's cross-dressed like when he did it on TV saying “I do want I want.” That shut him up.

“No. Not really. I like to wear them at times. But I'm happy as a boy.”

“Too bad. I really wanted a sister.” Kenny laughed.

“You know. If you really want to be a girl you have to tell mom, dad, and Kevin at one point.”

“But I'm scared.”

I know. You should be. But mom and dad do love you. It might take them some time to adjust but they're see you as their daughter at one point. If you never tell them you will always have to be a boy. You face it like you face death. With dignity. God knows I've done that enough.”

“Huh?” Kristian tilted his head at the last part.

“Nothing.” Kenny forgot no ones knows of his deaths. Even his little brother, or well sister. “By the way. If you're a girl now then you have to have a girls name.”

“I have one. My name is Karen. Tricia helped me on it.” Kenny smiled.

“My sister Karen. Well then come on Karen. I'll make you some nice warn pancakes.” Karen smiled and nodded. They got up but before they want Kenny took out some bands and put Karens hair into pigtails. Her hair was already rather long.

“There. Now your truly Karen.”

[fluffywolverine]

ok, i’ve gathered my thoughts (more or less) and decided to rank all sandman episodes. before i begin: i LOVE all of them, and putting them in the right order was very difficult. let’s go

i’m gonna sort them from the one i liked the least to my favourite one

- chapter three: dream a little dream of me - this is gonna be controversial, but i must say it. i’m not a fan of constantine, any version of them, that’s just not my type of character. having said that, i think jenna coleman did great job portraying this character! really loved her sass and relationship with dream. all in all, i was very happy, especially given that this issue was my least favourite when i read it;

- chapter one: sleep of the just - i was amazed with it when i watched in during the special screening, and i still love it! it starts the show really well, sets the events properly, shows us characters, and most importantly - the imprisoning scene looked so good! i had chills when they were chanting. additionally, presenting the corinthian that early was a great idea, everything made much more sense afterwards;

- chapter seven: doll’s house - i was surprised when they switched rose’s mother, miranda, with lyta, but it turned out to have much more sense! i liked their relationship and rose herself is much more interesting character here. also all the characters from the house, hal, barbie and ken, zelda and chantal were perfect;

- chapter eight: playing house - making jed the fake sandman? best choice ever. the corinthian being the one who actually saved him, not just giving him the ride was an interesting choice, as it showed a different side of him (i mean who would have guessed he would be so great with kids??). rose entering the dreams of her friends was done beautifully, they were just as weird as dreams can be;

chapter two: imperfect hosts - how on earth did they make me care so much about a character i’ve met like 2 minutes ago?? poor gregory :(((((( cain and abel are perfect, just like in the comics, and so are the kindly ones! i loved the visuals in this episode, especially dream’s journey and gathering what he needed;

chapter five: 24/7 - i was terrified when i thought i will be watching the diner episode, but it turned out rather tame, or at least tamer than the comic. up to some point i even thought to myself “huh, this is not so bad”, and then they started killing each other and themselves and i was like “ok i take it back”. anyway very good episode, quite faithful, with changes in the right places;

chapter ten: lost hearts - a finale that didn’t disappoint me was such a relief after all the mcu shows i’ve watched. they did a great job making everything right, not rushing anything and letting all the events end the best way possible. and i loved teasing another season with azazel and lucifer!

chapter four: a hope in hell - THE BATTLE. this was very difficult to portray, the comic versions never really spoke to me, but THIS?? the visuals, the creativity, the execution - everything was perfect. hell itself was done with so many details, it was scary, but not unnecessary ugly or evil. and gwendoline christie, oh my gosh. legend;

chapter nine: collectors - listen, i just adore the cereal convention. i loved this absurd concept in the comic and i love it in the show, the execution was flawless. besides that was the episode with the biggest amount of the corinthian, so i can’t not appreciate it;

chapter six: the sound of her wings - i cried through the entire half of the episode :’) death was so gentle, so kind, so understanding, so full of love for people and her annoying little brother. it might sound bizzare, but the episode about dying felt heart-warming and soothing. and then the episode was made even better with hob’s story. this is one of my favourite issues and the adaptation did it justice. the entire thing has a special place in my heart.

phew, what a ride. as you can see, i am very pleased with the entire show, it exceeded my (very high) expectations. can’t wait for season 2 (netflix, don’t you even dare cancel it)

[fatefulfaerie]

Horse

Linktober 2021 prompt #11/31

Word Count: 944

Incarnation: Skyward Sword

“What do you think? One for each of us?”

Zelda looked over at her husband across the way. They both knelt before brush that concealed them from the magnificent creatures they were looking at, that roamed the unexplored fields of central Hyrule with no idea of the Hylians that had descended from the sky and settled upon the same land.

“Uh…no?” Zelda said, as if it were obvious, Link looked over for an explanation, eyes that looked as if he were pleading with his mother. “Horses aren’t like Loftwings, Link. From the very moment we are paired with our Loftwing, the creature is tame, with an angelic behavior befitting of a gift from the goddesses themselves. It’s why we used to think that they came from Hylia.”

“These horses have only ever known the wild,” Zelda explained further. “They will fight against submission, even they we only mean to take care of them. They have no way of knowing that. I took you here to see the horses, not bring one back home.”

Link pursed his lips.

“Fine,” he said. He returned his gaze forward to the horses. One of them prodded forward in peace and another shook their mane. They seemed behaved enough and ever since they let their Loftwings free, Link had missed having an animal around dearly.

He looked over at Zelda, who was also observing the horses and didn’t seem to be paying attention to him at the moment. So, with a devilish smile and a confident stride, he ran out to catch his new steed.

“Link!” He heard her exclaim. “Stop!”

“And then what happened?” Orielle prompted as she wrapped Link’s arm in cloth, a larger cloth beside them ready to be tied into a sling.

Link looked up and Zelda still had crossed arms, her gaze disappointed.

“I didn’t listen,” Link admitted. “I tried to jump on the back of one that was a reddish-brown but it heard me coming and kicked me to ground with it’s hind legs. At first it was just the wind that was knocked out of me but I landed on my arm.”

Orielle nodded.

“Checks out,” she said, gently supporting Link’s arms as she reached for the sling. “It’s a pretty bad break. Even with potions it’ll probably take a couple weeks.”

“I guess the kids at the academy are learning one-handed combat a semester early this year,” Link wagered. Orielle sported a puff of a laugh, but it was born more than likely from her bedside manner and her pity for Link. Usually when a patient was in the infirmary, she would laugh at any joke that they mused.

“Can’t Groose take over for a couple weeks?” Zelda asked, her gaze of disappointment in Link was not matched by her tone of concern. Link knew where her disappointment came from, in fact, he could hear the ‘Why didn’t you listen to me?’ already.

Link shook his head.

“Why?” Zelda asked. “He’s covered for you before. Just a few months ago he subbed for you an entire week when you were sick.” 

“That was last semester,” Link explained. “This one is different. I don’t want to miss.”

Zelda found herself confused at first. The reckless behavior with the horses, the fact that he didn’t want to miss not even a day of teaching the young knights at the academy. She sighed when it dawned on her.

“Oh,” she said. Link and Zelda’s eyes met. “Right.” 

They shared a smile of sadness. It wasn’t until they were walking home that another word was spoken.

“It does seem like just yesterday that she was a little baby,” Zelda observed. “And tomorrow she’ll be ten.” She looked over to Link. “You wanted to get her a horse, didn’t you? Because we got a Loftwing when we turned ten.”

Link nodded, and Zelda hugged his uninjured arm as they strolled along. She maintained her gaze on his profile but said nothing. The thought occurred to her and she even inhaled to speak her mind, but…

“She’s such a natural in fighting class, you know,” Link said, beating her to it. “I try not to favorite her in front of the other students because she is my daughter, but…she really is doing great. Yet at the same time, it’s just another facet of her growing up and I don’t want to miss a day of it, no matter how much I trust Groose.”

Zelda smirked.

“You trust Groose, huh?”

Link furrowed his brow.

“Of course I do,” Link insisted, stopping and turning to face Zelda. “We’ve been to hell and back together.”

“So you would trust him with anything?”

“Yes,” he said. “I would trust him with your life. What are you on about?”

Zelda only had to give one look to suggest it.

“You think Groose won’t break his arm?” Link asked rhetorically.

“He might but I’ve learned from your mistake. Maybe taking the horse by surprise is the wrong tactic, maybe we need to employ a bit of stealth.”

“Groose doesn’t do stealth,” Link said, before adding jealously. “Besides I could have done stealth.”

“I know,” Zelda said, as if pampering a child. “But you aren’t exactly in the best condition to try again, now are you?”

Link scrunched his face slightly as he tried to think of a way to argue.

“No,” he mumbled, but his expression changed just as fast. “But wait, now you are okay with Azalea having a horse? You said they were dangerous.”

“That was only when I thought you wanted one for yourself,” Zelda clarified. “Our daughter is much more responsible. It’ll be tame in no time.”

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

Another Age of Calamity 2

*Sometime after the battle to rescue the champions, in a secure location somewhere in Akkala Citadel …*

BotW Zelda: I can’t believe this is all really happening. Not only did we save all the champions and recover the divine beasts, but now I get to speak with one of my ancestors face to face!

Smash Zelda: Believe it girl! It’s all real.

Smash Zelda: I mean *cough* by deciding to interfere we may have inadvertently created yet another offshoot timeline.

Smash Zelda: But it’s all definitely REAL.

BotW Zelda: Um, this is a bit awkward, but can I ask who this woman is upon whose lap you are sitting?

Smash Zelda: Oh this is my girl, Eve! Yes, I know what you’re thinking, she is technically Dark Samus but I promise she’s completely harmless.

BotW Zelda: Forgive my apprehension, it’s just that in our legends “dark” copies of heroes tend to be creations of Ganon himself.

Smash Zelda: No, I get it. But I swear there’s nothing to be afraid of. She may come off as intense, but she’s actually a complete sweetheart. Isn’t that right, honey?

Eve: If anyone here harms one hair on your head I swear I will raze this kingdom to the ground until they are found and I can personally eviscerate their still-living body before their eyes.

Smash Zelda: D'aawww! <3

BotW Zelda: Yes … um, very … sweet?

——————–

*Meanwhile, in the Citadel’s war room …*

Impa: It’s great that we managed to thwart the Calamity’s attempt to overtake the Divine Beasts, but that’s far from the end of our problems.

Urbosa: Indeed, the enemy still has the guardians under their control, and what seems like a neverending swarm of monsters.

Impa: But our biggest problem is the meddling of the Yiga clan. They’re numerous and also tricky. It’s difficult to know what they’re planning.

Marth: Don’t worry guys, we already have our best spy on the case.

*Transition to the Yiga hideout, where Sheik is disguised in Yiga gear amongst a few other Yiga footsoldiers.*

Sheik (thinking): Alright, where would be the best place to find some juicy information…

Sooga, entering the room: Alright men, listen up. The Seer thinks there may possibly be a spy in our midst. So I need you guys to- … yes?

Sheik, with her hand raised: Yeah, are you guys lovers?

Sooga: What?!

Sheik: You and Master Kohga. Do you, like, make out and stuff?

Sooga: What is this? This is so ridiculous…

Sheik: It’s okay if you do. We’re totally cool with it, right guys?

Yiga Footsoldier 1: I mean, Kohga’s not really my cup of tea, but to each his own happiness.

Yiga Footsoldier 2: Omigods is my 235 page fanfiction actually coming true before my eyes?!

Sooga, somehow clearly blushing despite the mask: Okay you guys are clearly too stupid to be spies. I have to go … do something … elsewhere … *disappears into smoke*

Sheik (thinking): Yessss! Juicy gossip acquired!

——————–

*Meanwhile, under a bridge somewhere in Hyrule, Wolf is waiting alone.*

Isabelle, ducking under the bridge: Wolf! It’s me! I got your note.

Wolf: Isabelle. I’m not happy to see you here. You realize this is a war, right? This isn’t fun and games. People are dying here.

Isabelle: But I want to help! Besides, you don’t have to worry about me, they just have me helping out at the lab. Robbie and Purah may be brilliant but they’re horribly disorganized. I’m as far out of danger as you can get.

Wolf: Hmph.

Isabelle: Besides, what about you? What are you doing here?

Wolf: Ganondorf has me keeping tabs on this Astor guy. Dude is kind of an idiot though.

Wolf: What is up with that? First Zant, and then Ghirahim, and now this guy. Why are all of Ganon’s followers complete idiots?

Isabelle: *stare*

Wolf: I- I mean not us obviously!

Isabelle: *raised eyebrow*

Wolf: I mean yes, Bowser isn’t that bright, and K. Rool is a moron … Dedede is incompetent but he barely counts … and Ridley is supposed to be “cunning” but all he cares about is murder … and Wario’s obsessive greed makes him easy to manipulate … and Gruntilda couldn’t witch her way out of a paper bag …

Wolf: *pause*

Wolf: Holy shit, are we all actually idiots?!

Isabelle: Yes, but you’re my adorable idiot. <3

——————–

*Meanwhile somewhere else in Hyrule, one could find the scattered remains of a once army of bokoblins, moblins, and lynels, now nothing more than piles of corpses. On a hilltop overlooking their hard work sits two heroes having a peaceful victory picnic.*

Samus: This is nice.

Link: Yeah, the view from here is pretty great.

Samus: Well, yes, that too, but I was actually referring to getting to help you save Hyrule.

Samus: I’m so used to isolated missions. Doing it for the bounty or to keep pirates from abusing my adoptive family’s legacy. It’s nice to do something that helps people in immediate need, getting to see the smiling faces of the people for whom you’ve come to their aid. I’m genuinely glad that we decided to come help here.

Link: Wow, I didn’t realize how therapeutic this was for you.

Link: But, err … speaking of deciding to intervene, we’re not going to get in trouble for abusing the Mansion’s space-and-time thingy, are we? I feel like that might have been a big no-no.

Samus: I’m hoping by the time Master Hand notices it will be too late.

Link: Isn’t he going to notice that a bunch of us are missing?

Samus: I’m not worried about it. The assist trophy crew offered to run distractions for us.

*Meanwhile, in the Smash Mansion*

Master Hand: Where the heck is everybody? We have Smash matches to run here, people! Young Link and Daisy are supposed to be fighting in like five minutes!

Skull Kid, in a tunic: Yes sir! Young Link, that’s me! Best buddy any guy could have in the whole world! See, I have a sock on my head and everything.

Master Hand: Uh… huh… sure, whatever. Dare I ask about Daisy?

Skull Kid:

Oh she’s right here, see?

*drags somebody into the room*

Shadow, in a dress: I don’t know how you convinced me to do this but know that I will be ending all of you later.

Skull Kid: See? I’m sure she says that all the time.

——————–

*Much later, back at Akkala Citadel*

Sheik: So, what do you think?

Marth: Sheik, you were supposed to be gathering intel on the Yiga’s plans. What you gave me is a shipping chart of everyone in Hyrule.

Sheik: But it’s good, right?

Marth: SHEIK.

Sheik: Okay relax I’m just playing with you. The truth is, though, the Yiga don’t really have any plans. They just wait for this Astor guy to have a vision or something and then do what he says. And he’s obviously being set up by Ganon. Very dumb.

Marth: Alright, I guess you’ll have to keep and eye on that guy for us then. Good work.

Sheik: Oh and it’s probably worth mentioning I saw a suspiciously DK-shaped Yiga member.

Marth: Donkey Kong dressed as a Yiga? But why?

Sheik: Either he’s joining them for free bananas or he’s plotting to steal all their bananas for himself.

Sheik: Either way it’s going to end hilariously bad for them. I can’t wait.

[mako-bones]

Year Walk (A Zelpha Story)

I have this posted on AO3, but I'd like to post it here as well! This is the second chapter, and it's under a cut since it is kinda long.

Chapter One: The Walk Begins

Chapter Two: Since We Were Kids

Word Count: 2342

~~~

Oh, Jabu-Jabu, this may be the worst day of my life.

Mipha's face was flush with bright blue as the floor slowly receded, flooding out in murmurs and gossip per the request of King Dorephan.

"It IS about lunchtime...Let the Council take a recess and we will return tonight. Mipha? A word. In private, please."

Yes, this was quickly transpiring into the worst day of her life.

The two took a left, into a spacious room decorated in the abundance of silver and aqua blues. Narrow columns served as the only vague doors, but no one was around to think of eavesdropping on the King and Princess.

Dorephan stopped and faced his daughter.

Anxiously, Mipha wrung her hands together, debating between meeting her father's concerned eyes or easily focusing on the wall elsewhere. Although it was hard to ignore his deep, rumbling voice as he hummed.

"You look tired, Mipha-"

"Father, what day is it?" Mipha blurted out again. "What time is it? I-I can't seem to remember what happened yesterday, or the day before that. And I apologize in advance , but I don't know what's going on-"

"Mipha." Dorephan knelt down, resting a hand on her shoulder and squeezing gently. He lifted another hand to his chest. "Take a deep breath. In...And out..."

While her eyes closed, and she slowly inhaled a shaky breath, she missed the way Dorephan's gaze turned to great worry, but disappeared when she opened her eyes again.

"Could you tell me how you're feeling? You've never been one for bad mornings...And yet, I've never seen you so scared before."

Mipha ran her hands down her face, dropping them into her lap. Slowly, she recounted the events of her nightmare. Leaving out the grisly, goreish battle, and the deja vu paradox she seemed to have found herself in.

It was her and Ruta, against a fearsome enemy. Alone and afraid.

Dorephan scratched at his chin, staring intently at the floor as he listened. Eventually he sighed. "I knew this was a mistake."

"Father?"

"Mipha...You looked so happy when the Hylians and Zorans unearthed the Divine Beast. It was quite endearing, seeing how excited you were when you’re usually so serene. But...Is this truly what you want?”

“Not because it's expected of you, or thrown upon you.” He continued. “But deep down, I encourage you to consider what this truly means. Do you understand?"

Deep down, she did. And she also did not.

She had to be the pilot. Her family, her home, her entire world counted on her. No one would know what it meant to be killed by the monster inside the belly of the beast, and in a strange sense, it was hers to conquer. Again and again all alone, so be it. So long as no one else had to.

And she nodded. "Yes, I understand." She took another breath in and out. “If it’s alright, Father…”

“Go ahead.” Dorephan finished, nodding. “Be mindful of the time, however.”

Mipha’s grateful smile was wobbly and drained, but she dove forward to hug Dorephan tightly before finally taking off through the halls again.

This time, she went the back way, avoiding the flood of curiously wandering Hylians and Zora.

In the East Reservoir Lake, Vah Ruta sat in the same spot she did a year ago. Or was it yesterday? It was the same spot that Mipha had remembered.

Perched between sand and water, her trunk was lifted high into the air, her head tilted to peer at the sky. She did not move, not even as Mipha swam closer.

“Although this may seem like the first time, weren’t you there when the world ended? Was that really you, or was it your ghost and mine?”

No move.

Mipha raised herself from the water, turning and sitting on the shore. The elephant towered over her even more so, its silhouette casting a gigantic shadow over the Zora. Mipha kicked her feet in the water as she continued to ramble.

"Nightmare or not, something was real. Something happened, that much I believe. Though I'm not quite sure how...Or why...At least I have another chance. We have another chance. All the things we never got to say or-"

"Is that you, Princess? Ah, I would know that voice anywhere."

Grass and leaves crunched beneath high heeled shoes, brushed away by a long azure dress. Mipha jumped, eyes trailing up Zelda's dress until she met her dark brown eyes.

There was a look that Mipha couldn't recognize, paired with her smile that didn't quite reach.

"Are you feeling alright?" Zelda asked, finally stopping a few steps away. Her neck craned upwards and she squinted.

"And I thought you did not want to be a pilot. Yet..."

"I was just...Becoming familiar with her, that's all." Mipha said. "I don't really mean what I said at the Domain. I panicked."

"I know." Zelda flashed another smile. "I could see it in your eyes. What had you so rustled? Was it me? I know we haven't had much time to meet since we were kids, right?"

"Right." Mipha nodded, and slid back into the cool water. She gestured to Zelda to follow along the shoreline. "It was only a bad night, Princess. And a hasty morning--But now that you're here, it's becoming much brighter."

Zelda playfully rolled her eyes, kicking a small branch aside. "I can say the same about you."

She paused, and then quietly said, "You seem...Different, now."

"Different?"

"In a good way!" Zelda added quickly, raising her hands. She laughed in a short bark, tucking her hair behind her reddened ear. "I only meant that...Uh...It's just nice to see you again."

They had reached the end of the lake, where a wide pier was stocked with benches, beds under luminous stone canopies, and even snacks in chests nearby. Zelda plopped down on one of the benches while Mipha lingered in the water, leaning on her crossed forearms.

"I do hope I've changed since we were children. You...Also seem different." Mipha squinted, but she couldn't place it. Was it her hair, or maybe her blushing cheeks?

Speaking of blush...

"Have you and Link gotten along well enough?"

Zelda's eyes blew up wide. She looked horrified, confused. She sputtered and sat up straighter. "Link...?"

Mipha blinked, wondering if she should press on or backtrack while she was still ahead. "Your bodyguard, yes? The knight that--Is very skilled in his line of work."

"I-I haven't heard of anyone like that, Princess." Zelda cleared her throat. "Are you a fortune teller now, as well as a Pilot and future queen?"

Mipha sank into the water, cheeks dusting blue. "How do you know for certain that I'm a Pilot? I could easily say no, you know."

Suddenly a rumbling and grinding of stone made both women jolt up, Mipha spinning around to face the noise.

Vah Ruta began to raise her trunk, slowly backing into the water. Zelda tilted her head, ready to begin documenting as she noticed it sinking into the water. But only halfway...

It lifted its trunk, and spewed water like a broken fountain straight into the air. In only a few seconds, Mipha felt heavy raindrops beating down on her skin, rippling the water in a mini rip current.

"Ruta?!" Mipha lifted her head from the rough waters, a scowl on her face. "We talked about this, don't you remember? We are going to have another talk about this...Later. Oh, don't look at me like that, that was very rude!"

Mipha shook her fins out, huffing. To a Zora, it was hardly any different than a light shower. No clothes to ruin, no skin to prune and wrinkle. But for Hylians…

Oh, no. It was then that Mipha realized that Zelda was still standing, clothes ruined and her fingers no doubt beginning to wrinkle. Her face and expression was covered by her soaked hair, but she was staring up at Ruta. Then at Mipha as she quickly jumped out of the lake.

“Princess! Oh, I hope your dress isn’t ruined. Come with me--Surely there’s something at the Domain you can wear as your clothes are mended to. Is that alright?”

“Ah…” Zelda pulled apart her hair to reveal a dazed expression--She couldn’t believe what just happened, and neither could Mipha. “R-Right. Thank you, Mipha.”

As they quickly hurried to the nearby stairs, Zelda turned her head back to stare at Vah Ruta, still in shock. That had never happened before…

"It's not everyday I find something to be surprised about," Zelda mused as she pulled the silver comb through her hair--Short, brown locks that were beginning to bounce with lively curls.

"Is this about the water, Princess?" Mipha turned with another towel in hands, a scarce fabric in the Domain--But luckily there were a few on hand for the unexpected guests in the palace. "I apologize for-"

"Ahaha, no!" Zelda shook her head. "It’s just that...You spoke to the Divine Beast with such...Familiarity. And although it seemed rather playful, teasing us with that rainstorm...It obeyed you immediately."

Zelda rested her hands in her lap, staring at Mipha through the vanity's mirror. "...It just goes to show that there's more sentience to these machines than anyone could have assumed. It raises more questions about the relationship between a Divine Beast and its Pilot. It's fascinating, is all.

It makes me wonder how the rest of the chosen Pilots will follow..."

Mipha blinked, stopping short in her walk to deliver more towels. She had completely forgotten about the others. Revali, Daruk, Urbosa...Did they have the same nightmare, too?

"You're staring." Zelda's eyes flashed with worry, checking her own appearance again. "Did I forget a tangle? Is there a frizz where I can't see?"

"Oh, no, Princess. It's quite beautiful, if I may say." Mipha stepped forward, setting down the cloth to hover a hand near Zelda's head. "It looks...Different, than I remember. What did you do differently?"

And then it hit Mipha, right after the words escaped. At one point, she had remembered Zelda's hair being thick, and long. Always braided tightly down her back in a multitude of elegant braids, decorated in gold to match her dark brown skin. She gasped.

"You did cut your hair!"

Zelda's eyes widened, before she smiled. "Yes, I did." She laughed, a melodic sound that brought a faint blush to Mipha's cheeks.

"I...like it this way. I like it this way." Zelda repeated, nodding her head in confidence. "And there's plenty of hairstyles I can experiment with now. One for every occasion!"

Mipha hummed, and gently trailed her fingers through the ends of the curls.

"It fits you perfectly." She sent a warm smile to the mirror, and stepped back to give Zelda room, hands clasped together.

Zelda's cheeks flushed, but she quickly finished brushing her hair back and pulled it back out of her face. "There's something I'd like to ask of you, Princess."

When she asked, the entirety of the Domain was asking too. The King was waiting, subtle worry etched into his expression.

"Graceful Princess of the Proud Zora, will you accept the humble call to stand with me against the evil that may threaten my home and yours, and become the Pilot to steer Divine Beast Vah Ruta?"

The whole world was holding their breath, and Mipha's heart thrummed in her chest like it did the first time--The theatrics of it all never failed to give her stage fright.

"I accept."

And it was sealed. Mipha turned from the cheering crowd, looking up at her father who only smiled reassuringly with a small nod. He seemed like he was holding back many things, keeping it under a calm expression in the gaze of his only daughter.

"Father...You won't have to worry about losing me ever again. I swear it this time."

"I won't lie." Dorephan let out a sigh, drumming his fingers in a slow rhythm. "As a father, I'm always worried for the wellbeing of my children. But you rise to this challenge with such determination and courage that I cannot stand in your path, only walk next to you and pray that you'll return home safe and sound. In my heart, I know you will. Yet it is still hard to let you go."

Dorephan looked over Mipha's shoulder. "Princess Zelda."

Quickly, Zelda waved to another Zora guard she had been speaking to and stepped to the dais, bowing. "Your Majesty?"

"I understand that the plan is the same?"

"Ah--Yes, Your Majesty-" Zelda reached for the Sheikah device on her hip, flicking away droplets of water as it powered to life under her touch. She tapped away, focused and calculated. Mipha curiously glanced over, watching a detailed map of the land and its various landmarks flicker across the screen.

Colored lines and grids drew across the map, obviously hand-drawn in their wobbly

curves.

In the region over Zora's Domain, a tiny creature similar to Ruta animated its trunk on screen.

"Everything is still on schedule. Princess, tomorrow we'll head for Hyrule Castle to regroup our supplies and soldiers, and then begin our journey to the next region of Hyrule, in regards to the next Pilot."

"In that case...take good care of each other." Dorephan nodded to them both. "I have no doubts in my Mipha's abilities, but I surely do not mean to downplay your own strengths. I only ask that you watch each other's backs...Whatever the case may be...In and out of battle."

Zelda and Mipha both glanced at each other, a faint smile shared between them.

And Dorephan, sitting back and waving them off, his fears begrudgingly took the backseat as he nodded to himself. Of course there would be a flood of Hylian and Zora guards to accompany them; But there was always something special about placing your faith in a friend...And their faith in you.

[botwstoriesandsuch]

Sidequests are part of the story so it’s still my ballpark shut up it’s time for

Read Part 1 here!

Part 2 || Part 3

If you’re on mobile, and tumblr hates this post, follow along on this google doc!

Rules/overview this rewrite in the beginning of Part 1

- - - - - - - - - - 

Side quests, side quests, side quests. What are they? And what are they doing here, on an Age of Calamity rewrite? I must admit, game design is not an inherent forte of mine, and I like to think that my only “expertise” would be on writing and storytelling. So what the fuck is a fool like me doing here

Well my dear ladies, lads, and gentlefolk, if your memory does serve, I did say that the format of Age of Calamity was one that served the major plot and story beats for it’s cutscenes, and its worldbuilding and good parts of it’s character development for its gameplay and side quests. It’s actually a concept that can be seen in shows and movies too, although obviously it’s origins are in TTRPGs and videogames. Definition wise, a side quest is any deviation from the main story and plot that serves to flesh out an optional/overseen aspect of the game. So there’s out perfect outlet for worldbuilding, characters, and even a bit of humour. Side quests, by definition, can’t simply be just XP grinders, because otherwise you could…..just make an XP grinder. It’s like saying you’re getting your kids a bike, but then you get them a stationary exercise one. Sure it’s functionally the same and gives the same benefits, but it could be so much more. 

Does Age of Calamity have good side quests? I’d actually argue, yes. I mean sure, it’s not exactly gonna hold a candle to Fallout or Witcher 3, but there are great memorable side quests that do serve their purposes in this game. 

A fan favourite is “The So-Called Knight,” in which Link spars Mipha, Teba, Sidon, and Revali, a conflict of the Sidon’s confidence and belief in Link, with Revali’s skepticism and grudge against him. Not only is it great fandom content, but it explores the carrying POVs of several characters in a fun way. We also have Hestu’s Dance Competition, and the Miss Vai Battle Pageant. What they lack in serious character tone, they make up for in humour and world building. Even the quests that have nothing to do with the main cast of characters, like the Questionable Escort Mission, still provide funny and interesting details about the world, like how the Yiga Clan is still ever persistent in trying to take down Link with monsters and Windcleavers alike. 

It’s not like those side quests were functionally useless either, all of them still provided great amounts of exp and materials. What specifically made them great and memorable was their small little stories and character/world details. Of course, that’s not to say you can’t have the occasional plotless boss rush every now and again, those are fun in their own right and it’s good to have variety. But just thinking about it...what were everyone’s least favourite sidequests? The timed Yiga Escape?  The ones where you sit around defending strongholds? The one hit death Hair-Width Trials? Ah...so all the least enjoyable side quests were the ones that were difficult, with no enjoyable character or worldbuilding to back it up….interesting interesting….interesting pattern indeed. 

So, let’s improve the game a bit further. I do need to pace out my future character arcs somehow. I tried to make use of the existing quests where I could, but it’s just eaaaasier to just not think about it and do it from scratch. Just shove these in place of all those quests whose only description is “monsters have been spotted here! Take Mipha and go to work!” and stuff like that. Alrighty then! Here’s my take on cool side quests for every single character thus far, along with their paired gambit attacks. Prepare for heists! Drama! Simping! And Bananas!

Link: Mastering Stasis

Ok I have no idea when this quest unlocks so just for my purposes assume this only becomes available after Link pulls the Master Sword. 

Engage the hordes of monsters that have been spotted in Hyrule Field. Now is a great time to master the use of the Stasis Rune. Impa and Zelda accompany you, but it seems stasised monsters aren’t the only thing coming to a tense standstill…

This isn’t anything that special, I just want to further highlight this tension that Zelda and Link have, as it’s something touched upon in Botw, but never really mentioned or used ever in Hwaoc. Now more than ever, Zelda has an excuse to have a rocky relationship with him because she could actively see just how far he’s coming in such a short amount of time. Classic “he probably hates me so I guess I’ll hate him” thing.

You play as Link, the game gives you your little prompts on how to use Stasis, you take out a few hordes of Bokoblins and blah blah blah. I wanted to use an earlier level to establish Zelda’s relationship sooner as obviously it’s gonna be important to the story. But of course like all side quests it won’t kill you to skip out. Text dialogue can be Zelda saying science shit like “This will be a good opportunity to test out the full limits of the Stasis rune” and then Impa’s all “Yep! We got your back, Princess! We’ll clear out these monsters in no time.”Then Link the little angsty shit that he is says nothing, and as you play you clear out more and more bokoblins Zelda just says “...” and then we can toss in a Moblin or two in there for gambit voice stuff.  

Gambit dialogue with Impa would be supportive, her usual spunky dialogue. I had two ideas for Gambit attacks with Link: One where Impa does that thing where she cuts a giant laser through the air, but it’s aimed towards Link and he parries it right in a monster’s FACE because I think it’s badass and also a good way to show trust and stuff. The second thing was Impa’s giant bomb barrels, but Link is the one to somehow ignite them, because he is an arsonist after all. He can even have a chaotic Sheikah blue glint in his eyes like blue flame, I can already picture it so clearly given how anime/dramatic Impa’s movements are. Impa sets bombs, Link *teleports behind Moblin* nothin personal, kid. 

Also right at the end of their gambit attacks, Impa and Link should try to fist bump or something (cause the whole “cool guys don’t look at explosions” thing that Impa usually does on her own) but are interrupted by eggbot jumping up to try and join in. And then Impa can be annoyed and try to punt it or something. That’s not just self-indulgent that’s in her character she totally would and I want to make use of the fact that eggbot travels around with Link. The success of her attempts to punt him can vary.

If Link does a gambit with Zelda, her dialogue can just be her usual monotone Princess stuff, “Thanks for lending your strength,” or “There is still much more to do!” just purely professional, we’re not at a stage yet where she’s buddy buddy with Link. Their gambit attacks can still be cool though. One idea I had was Zelda using stasis, and you know how when you use it in botw everything lights up with that sonar effect? So Link stands besides Zelda, and she activates stasis, the first “sonar” light wave reveals the stasised monster, and you see it from the view of the Sheikah Slate. Then with each additional flash of sonar you just see this silhouette of Link going absolute ham on a monster. And then when the stasis “ding ding ding ding ding” is done, everything’s just dead. Can you see my inspiration from Persona 5 yet? Second idea was Zelda using cryonis and makes an ice ramp for Link to shield surf on and ram into a monster. For entertainment purposes Zelda should also be putting frogs on said slide. (Also also the reason I’m putting Link as the main focus for those gambit attacks is because I want to juxtapose it with future gambits where Zelda may or may not be more powerful…)

Anyhow anyhow, so this side quest, you beat some bokoblins, theres a moblin or two. However as you progress Zelda’s dialogue because a bit more passive aggressive, maybe Zelda can be a bit irritated at how quickly Link is defeating everything before she can even contribute. Impa can comment on this like “She hasn’t exactly been warming up to you, has she…” and then the last point of the side quest, Zelda runs off, there’s a...let’s say a big horde of blue or black Moblins. Or a horde of Wizzrobes, I’m not too picky on it. Link can save her and do a gambit or whatever, but the point of importance is that Zelda leaves with the clear mindset off, “You don’t need to keep coddling me, I can handle my own” to Link, but is “Thank you, I’m glad you’re here,” to Impa. 

Now I stole was inspired to use this based on this comic by @novellanova, and you should check it out here. But basically, at the end when all the monsters are dead and the last few text boxes are rolling, Impa says something like “Gee, at this rate I might have to protect you from the princess! Hmm…. you know, maybe if you two had the opportunity to hang out more and get to know each other, she’d warm up to you! Ha! That’s it! I’ve made up my mind. Listen up Link, from now on I’m gonna let you man the wheel when it comes to protecting Zelda. So with me out of the picture you better take the opportunity to be the nicest, most helpful, and most effective body guard there is. I know you already are, but still, if I hear that one little Chuchu so much as splat in her direction I will take you down...got it?” And, that’s that.

Side quest done. Fun Link gambits with Impa and Zelda, some little character POVs on the situation, plus an explanation as to why Impa doesn’t accompany Zelda everywhere/nods to the cutscenes of Botw as to what happened to Impa. Alright, that was probably the most boring one so let’s move on to

Daruk: A Rumbling Stomach

Alright I’ll be honest...I have no idea what to do with Daruk. Especially when Yunobo’s not here, I got zip-zero to work with considering his character is non-existent. Further down the line I’ll certainly try to give him more nuances and the like, but I’m afraid the majority of my character efforts have been towards Astor, Revali, Zelda, and [REDACTED] so this is my apology ahead of time, rock fuckers.

This is my take on how to make those timed quests more fun. So basically, the premise of this stage is that Daruk was just happily hanging around trying to enjoy his rock roast, when a monster surprised him and he dropped it, and now it’s rolling down the hill. This is based on my real Breath of the Wild experience where I had to trek up that Volcano path to bring a rock roast for that shrine quest, but at the very top I dropped it and had to chase it down before it fell into the lava below. 

Daruk is eager to chow down on the finest rock roasts this year has to offer! It’s too bad things go downhill when monsters start to ambush. Defeat key enemies and rescue Daruk’s tumbling meal before this year’s wait goes to waste!

So, that’s what this is. The stage opens and Daruk says “NOOooOO! My rock roast! Damn monsters!” and you have to defeat baddies and catch up to the rock roast before the timer runs out and it falls into lava. And then when you finish and get back the rock roast that’s pretty much it….except SIKE no it’s not. Because a lot of these timed quests usually have a “surprise! There’s more!” thing at the end so I’ll do that here too. So Daruk has saved his rock roast and he’s talking about how he’s going to enjoy it in all its deliciousness, when he’s cut off by a random Goron’s scream. Turns out, Daruk’s yelling at the monsters about desperation to retrieve his lost lunch has attracted monsters to some traveling civilians, and now you gotta go beat a Talus, or a couple of Moblins, or something...Again I don’t really have level set or idea when these side quests unlock so just use your imagination. Once Daruk defeats the monster(s) the Gorons can thank him, and then one of the Goron kids can be like “Ooo! Is that a super special rock roast?!?” And Daruk is all:  “Ah! Well all the best Goron heroes eat plenty of rocks! This here is the gourmet stuff. You can only get it once a—” And the kid’s like “Woah! I’ve always wanted to have one, that’s why I’ve been training hard so I can explore more of the mountain. Where’d you get it??” And Daruk can sputter a bit, before finally sighing and giving into his instincts. “Ah….well, why don’t you have it? You’re probably really hungry after running around with those monsters…”

“Woah really?? Are you sure—”

“YEAH JUST TAKE IT ALREADY GO”

“Woah, thank you!” and then the Goron kid and co run off. Cue Daruk crying to himself in the background. Daruk may have an appetite, but I like to characterize him as the Goron Hero first and foremost.  

I’m sure that doesn’t stop him from mourning his rock though.

Mipha: Stronger Sentiments

Mipha and Daruk talked a whole bunch about training together so that Mipha can grow stronger, and Daruk was catching on to her crush on Link and it was a nice interaction in between them except for the fact that we never see them do the damn training so that’s what this is.

I think this is as good an opportunity as any to make this a Hair-Width quest, the ones where you can’t take one hit. The difficulty of a level is one of the most effective ways to put the players in the boots of a character to experience the same struggles they do. If the player works hard, then they automatically associate that with the character working hard. So, yeah, let’s have Mipha kicking ass and working to be strong enough to protect Link.

Mipha is determined to grow stronger. Daruk and the other Gorons are helping out with an intense training session by Gut Check Rock. Prove yourself by defeating all the enemies you encounter!

So Mipha is sparring with the Gorons, you fight through them and the captains and blah blah, the final boss is fighting Daruk without getting hit. 

“I promise not to hurt you more than I’m capable of reversing.”

“Ha! Give me all you’ve got, princess!”

You fight, cue the special music or whatever. I mentioned that gambit dialogue/attacks could also work to be custom for the character that you’re fighting, so I’m thinking something like this. Daruk slams the ground and rocks and magma sprout up around him like jagged pieces of glass, but Mipha is no where to be seen. Daruk’s kinda huffing and puffing, “Where’d you go Mipha…” and then FWOOSH, giant geyser right behind him. [yes I KNOW I overuse the *teleports behind you* “nothing personal, kid” thing but I think it’s COOL and you can’t stop me] So anyhow, you know that thing in Avatar where Pakku is just riding at the top of a whirlpool and destroying everything? That’s Mipha.

Daruk turns around and scratches the back of his head. “...huh….that’s not good.” Cue Mipha swooping down to deal the defeating blow. 

So Mipha wins, she can mention how wonderful it was and how much stronger she feels. And she can thank Daruk, and he’s all “No problem!” but he mutters something like “And I thought Gorons hit hard...now I know how Link feels.” End side quest….SIKE it’s another surprise boss at the end. A Goron captain suddenly reports that an Igneo Talus has appeared nearby. 

Mipha goes up to fight it, but wow! Link is already there. They both fight it, but it’s clear that Link didn’t need her help that much. You can defeat the Talus with a Mipha/Link gambit. It’s similar to Link’s usual “swing sword in a giant circle and become a death windmill” but Mipha kinda enhances it with water or something and it puts out the Talus. I wanted this ending with a focus on how strong Link is just to show that while Mipha is improving, she’s still not yet where she needs to be. 

Daruk: “Sorry I wasn’t much help at the end there, I was busy, uh, stretching.”

Mipha: “Oh it’s quite alright, Daruk. We were both quite tired from today’s training.”

Daruk: “Well I dunno about that...seems to me you were quite lively and active as you fought beside Link. *wink*”

Mipha: “Huh!?!? W-What is that supposed to mean??”

Cue laughter from Daruk. Mipha is flustered. And Link is just...confused, as always. 

Urbosa: Mighty Thunder of the Gerudo

So in the game this is just some normal outpost capturing, stronghold defending side quest, but we’re gonna spice it up just a bit. 

An important excavation site is being overrun by monsters, and Urbosa has set out to engage them. Defend and capture the outposts, in order to prevent this valuable place from falling into enemy hands…

So you fight as Urbosa, defeat some enemies and blah blah. When you first arrive there, I want one of the Gerudo Captains to be like “Lady Urbosa? Where did you come—What are you doing here? Aren’t there areas of greater importance for you to be at right now?” Urbosa says something like “Nevermind that now, let us focus on achieving victory over these rotten beasts.” 

As the battle goes through, it is revealed that this excavation site is where Zelda’s mother would often work and hang out with Urbosa. Urbosa says some stuff like “Her Majesty would not be happy to see all these monsters heading here!” *decapitates Moblin* and then she can say other dramatic stuff at the end like “We have fought well...for her memory” and other classic lesbian pining. Some guard at the end can say “Perhaps you should move on and help out somewhere else, Lady Urbosa. We can handle the clean up from here.” 

“Sure,” Urbosa replies, “Just another moment.” And then cue reminiscing. “She always did love these machines…”

And just other sentimental stuff like that. If you’re gonna be a coward and hold out on the Champion death angst, then you best be pumping that angst and emotion from somewhere, you know?

Also yay for worldbuilding! At least in my rewrite, the Guardian excavations and stuff were overseen by the Queen. Could be a reason Zelda hangs out with Sheikah tech so much...who knows who knows... who knows what other implications this has, it’s just a side quest after all.

Revali: Anti-Ice Training [get it??? Cause in this one, Revali’s gonna break the ice with some other characters?? I’m funny I swear]

Ok so for this one, I want to pull Revali’s character away from just “the birb that doesn’t like Link” and give him some other stuff to stand on. Obviously, there would be other side quests in a fully fleshed out game that did even more to characterize him, but for my rewrite I’m only dedicated this post and one other future post to sidequests, so I gotta really bring out what I can for the few side quest stories I have time to tell

Revali sets out alone to deal with some monsters by the Hebra trail. Although intended as an isolated moment to hone his skills, he finds himself with unexpected company. Defeat key enemies.

So you play as Revali and at first you’re alone, taking out Ice Lizalfos and the like. Revali’s text dialogue can say stuff like “Hmm...not fast enough” “My current needs to be stronger” “*mutters* Can’t compete with lightning and magma with aim like that.” Just stuff that establishes that he’s working hard to really prove himself as the best, but is still a bit insecure about his position. He thinks he’s better than Link, sure, and he certainly thinks that being a princess or a chief doesn’t automatically make you the best. However by this point, Revali has battled alongside the other Champions and seen their skill in battle, and has developed some respect for them. Afterall, Champions were chosen in some part for their skills, unlike Link or Zelda who destiny just thrust greatness upon. 

So Revali has this slight insecurity that compared to lightning, and magic healing, and magma, with chiefs and princesses and titles of heroes, he and his efforts will be overshadowed and forgotten, unfairly deemed the useless one. Thus, here he is, training in solitude, not wanting anyone to see the imperfections and mistakes until he is absolutely perfect.

Except for the fact that after you beat a Wizzrobe, the other three Champions show up. 

Revali: Wh—Huh?? What are you all doing here?

Urbosa: Well, we all have to travel with the princess to that Tower in a few hours, so I recommended we find you and hang out until then

Mipha: And a good thing too! Look how many monsters there are

Revali: I’m actually doing very well on my own right now. Wouldn’t want you to catch a cold or something, so why don’t you head on back and let me handle this.

Daruk: Aw, it’s not that we think you can’t do this. It’s that you’re hogging all the fun! Urbosa: And that it would be more efficient if all of us went to work

Daruk: That too

Revali: Look it’s not—you all can’t just—this is not just about—AUGH, look, I’m just trying to train myself at the moment, and I don’t need you all to mess with my drills

Urbosa: Training, hm? Well how about this...you let us continue helping you with these monsters, and after, I’ll let you in on a good Gerudo training technique

Revali: Hmph. Fine, whatever gets you out of my tail feathers faster

So Revali and the Champions clear out the monsters. Revali can have gambit attacks/dialogue with each of the other Champions. This is already incredibly long so perhaps I’ll save specifics for another time, feel free to use your imagination. Urbosa teasing Revali and they make a thunderstorm, Mipha and Revali swimming in the sky and kissing—wait that’s— 

When all the monsters are cleared, which honestly isn’t tooooo many, Revali speaks again.

Revali: So what’s this oh-so-holy technique you had in mind, then?

Urbosa: Ah yes, well really it’s quite simple. It’s called…

Urbosa: One-on-one combat

Now Revali fights Urbosa. It think it’d be really fun if your allies on a stage could swap to a boss, and I wish hwaoc had a bit more freedom with the interactions as a whole, but ah well, that’s what I’m here for I guess.

So when you/Revali defeat her, it’s a good accomplishment! Not only for you the player, as Urbosa would not be the easiest to beat, but also because match-up wise, Revali prevailing over Urbosa is a big feat as their styles are quite opposite, arguably with the strength in favour for Urbosa.

Revali might at first have the mindset that Urbosa is overconfident and thinks she’s got an easy win on Revali, but that mindset is quickly proven wrong when 1) the difficulty of the gameplay itself shows how they’re both doing their best and 2) Urbosa with her Gerudo qualities is probably shouting stuff like “give it your all!” and things.

And so, as you beat her...

Revali, kinda huffing and puffing, but just a bit:: ...you….held back

Urbosa: Come now, do you really think of me as someone who’d do that? I’m almost insulted.  

Revali: Hmm...perhaps not then....

Mipha: Wow! What a wonderful fight from both of you. 

And then insert some other dialogue from Daruk or something that shows the Champions acknowledging the training and hard work Revali must have put in to be so skilled. Perhaps it’s not so bad, when you train with others and your skill is fully appreciated by your frie—GAH. Perish the thought, they’re all just a bunch of royal fools who can’t hold a candle to the skill of a Rito Master….probably…

Revali: Well unlike you lax fools, I tend to take my job seriously. I don’t have time to longue and banter when the princess is still expecting me in an hour or two

Urbosa: Oh alright, let’s get to it then. What’s the expression? “The early bird gets the w—”

Revali: Gross. No. Don’t finish that sentence, I beg you. 

Urbosa: Oh? Well why don’t you fly off to escape my dreadful tones then?

Revali: ...Heh, don’t be absurd…

Revali: Without me, you’ll all probably get lost. So, I suppose I should stick around for that sake Great Fairies: Dress to Oppress 

The Great Fairies are holding a fashion competition and rating people’s outfits. Poorly judged outfits gives them the right to compensation combat. Defeat all your less than fashionable allies.

...

...yeah.

It seemed funny in my head, alright? cOme on, just imagine…

Revali, fully expecting to win: Well?

Great Fairies: Hm...I don’t know dear, all the colors are very clustered. Perhaps if you were taller—?

Revali: bWHAKT!? *other angry bird noises*

- - - 

Daruk: I brought my BEST out today! :D

Great Fairies: Is that a….chain?

Daruk: TWO chains, actually. :D

Great Fairies: Oh honey…

- - - 

Great Fairies: Ooo! Our little hero is about to come out! Wonder what he chose...a knight in shining armour? A handsome desert voe? Ooo!! And those Snowquill braids always made him look so cute…

Link: *comes out in the Tingle Outfit*

Great Fairies: …

Great Fairies: …………..hm…..

At the end of the side quest, after you beat everyone, the Great Fairy wins because of course they do. 

Great Fairies: Oh my! What an unexpected outcome...but it really couldn’t have gone any other way. I declare the judges the winner! I mean just look at me, I’m as dazzling as a jeweled desert flower, because I am! Ohohohoho…

This side quests unlocks the Tingle Outfit

Hestu: Forest Dance Festival

Alright this quest was already pretty perfect, BUT, I just want to use this opportunity to say that all of Hestu’s gambit attacks makes his allies and enemies do special dances. Absolutely abSURD that Hestu can only make the lesser smaller enemies dance on occasion, nonononono, my guy Hestu is making everyone dance. You can’t stop this. Nothing I say will ever top the imagination, so just take my word that this is a good thing. [Reluctant Revali doing the macarena against his will in sync with Hestu and they bash someone’s head in...ah the possibilities.] 

Maz Koshia: Links to the Past

Ok so before I get into this, a few things. This quest takes place well after the tower activations in Akkala. Age of Calamity leaves a whole lot of plots holes as to why a Monk is just...here, and what the point of the shrines are, and personally my first reaction to all this was just a five minute extended “huuhhhhhh???” 

So here is my headcanon, explanation, thing, canon to the world of the Kip Cut story. Ones all the Sheikah Towers were activated, that officially woke up all the Shrines, because we know that the Towers and Shrines are all connected to the same system. [See Great Plateau Tower activating all the Shrines and Towers, and Creating a Champion explanation on the system] But when all the monks were in their little altars and noticed how Link hadn’t dont a single one, they were like “what the fuck.” Monk Maz Koshia, who is kinda the head honcho of the monks and probably the only one powerful enough to go out in the world anyhow, sets out to see what the deal is, and after many a teleportation and telepathic communication, he figures out that Link is just running around with the Master Sword already. This kinda confuses him, because the whole point of the Shrines was to test Link and give him the spirit orbs so that he could grow strong enough to get the Master Sword, but he somehow already has it...so hmmmm something fishy is going on in this timeline. So Link technically hasn’t proven himself at all, Maz Koshia ambushes him, they do their little combat trial, Link passes, and Maz Koshia’s like “ok cool so you’re not useless.”

So now Monk Maz Koshia has cast aside his old monk duties of waiting around for a couple hundred years, in favour of just hanging out with Link and continuing to train him combat wise. Shrines are still explored by Zelda and co because they are important areas to establish teleportation pads, and whenever they’re there, Maz Koshia forces Link to get in a shrine to get a spirit orb, which is not only useful in general for health, but since Link already has the Master Sword, the other characters can get the spirit orb too. (So all those little heart upgrades that you see on the map, those are all just in the real Botw Shrine locations, rather than just scattered around randomly. Also I’m ignoring the stuff about talking to Hylia in order to exchange for stamina or heart containers because the game never talks about her, or stamina, and I’m not about to create an entirely new custom gameplay feature for this game, fuck you.)

I like to think that Maz Koshia is very selective about the Shrines he encourages people to try out. “Oh nonono, don’t bother with Qukah’s….lazy ass, only set up one little mountain that you have to blast through with lightning and that’s the entire puzzle! Disgraceful...Here, Kaam Ya’tak has set up a wonderful Trial of Power for you. I’m sure you’ll find the level design quite thrilling. They spent a lot of time on the critical thinking aspects so have fun!”

“I should warn you that this one was made by one of the millennials...yes, those youngins who were only initiated 1000 years of age. Honestly, they lack so much experience. Ms. Agana over here was experimenting with something called ‘motion controls?’ Pretty lazy if you ask me. Traditionally I would just stick to combat and block and switch stuff...but ah well, variety I suppose.”

Right, what was I talking about? Oh right! This is a sidequest. So Monk Maz Koshia doesn’t really have...a character??? Or a personality??? So I don’t really know what to do with him other than use him as an outlet for world building. Apologies to the Monk….fuckers? Stans? Feel free to leave me a comment about how I missed all the nuances of his character or something I’m all ears.

On an expedition to mark more Shrines and establish more teleports for the Kingdom, a large horde of monsters is spotted, seemingly with the intention to destroy these Ancient relics. Link and Maz Koshia use this opportunity to sharpen their combat skills. Protect the stronghold and defeat key enemies.

And then that quest would just kinda echo the stuff I said earlier about the world. (As Maz Koshia defends a Shrine, somewhere Qukah Nata is smugly shouting “Bet you wish ALL of them were protected with a giant mountain now, do ya?)

Also Link and Maz Koshia’s gambit attack involves the Master Cycle. I don’t have the specifics, but damn if I want some call backs to Botw while also having fun.

Impa: Steal Yourself [Yiga Clan Escape]

In an act of pure hatred and malice, the Yiga Clan has snuck into Kakariko Village in the dead of night…and stolen all the Swift Carrots! Impa sets out to get them back, as well as taking something else as a form of swift revenge...Escape before the time runs out.

Ok I can explain.

So you know how the Yiga and the Sheikah have kiiiiinda been murdering each other a bunch in Botw, going as far as to kill a deserter’s wife and threatening to murder his kids, and also people on both sides were sorta massacred for no reason? And alsoooo one of those people who literally lived during that time of the massacre is just kinda floating around now?  And you knooooooooww how the Yiga Clan just kinda joins Zelda’s side later on and we’re not supposed to think about the implications of that too hard because they’re the funny banana ninjas, haha? Yeah well neither Age of Calamity or I really have time to explore the moral grey areas of an alliance between two warring factions, one of which has a leader who doesn’t really seem to remember the reason why they hate Hyrule which brings into question whether the lackeys even know their clan’s history, and brings about the moral dilemma of criminalizing the ignorant, and also there’s the whole other dilemma of depicting the side that submitted to their oppression as being “in the right” and the topic of a race of people being pitted against their own by a higher power is really brushed over sO WE’RE JUST GONNA TOSS ALL THAT OUT THE WINDOW AND MAKE THEM ACT LIKE RIVALLING HIGH SCHOOLS, OKAY? OKAY! This is fine this is fine— 

So I have dubbed the High School mascot of the Sheikah, the Swift Carrot. And although there does seem to be some internal debate about whether the carrot should be replaced by the Fortified Pumpkin, the hero of Hyrule Link favours carrots so that’s that. Then of course, the mascot for the Yiga Clan is the Mighty Banana. The two sides hate each other and steal their food symbols to be petty. I’ll be covering the side quests of Kohga and the other later characters in another later post, but just know that Kohga will have his banana heist sidequest too. 

So anyhow, you play as Impa. Maybe she can say a piece of dialogue or two about how she has to uphold the image of her people as she has to lead them one day. And then, this side quest is just her retrieving the carrots and running off with the Yiga’s big banana supply before she’s caught. This is based on that “Escape the Yiga Clan” quest if you couldn’t tell.

Custom gambit defeat of Impa vs Kohga: On one hand I think it would be badass to see Impa’s Sheikah skills go up against the Yiga Clan tactics. Kohga summons a giant metal ball to throw, Impa teleports behind him “nothing personal, kid” nO fuck I’m doing it again away goes to swing a blade at his face. He blocks it with his little energy shield thing, but not before an entire conga line of Impa clones start slashing at him until he’s defeated by a giant explosion. So yeah, that’d be badass and cool. But on the other hand…

Kohga, stomping his feet and having a fit: I cARROT believe you would do something this terrible! Give us back those bananas right now! D: ….please? You can keep the gross orange sticks.

Sooga: He asked nicely. You wouldn’t deny the wishes of the most polite and charming Yiga Chief there is, would you?

Impa: No can do, Yiga scum! I’m afraid this cruel action wasn’t veggie nice of you so I must exact justice! Now it’s my time to split. *Impa clones gather and throw Kohga into a giant frog’s mouth. Impa runs off with a sack of fruit [fruit (derogatory) if you will] cackling into the horizon*

Zelda: The Path She Laid For You

The King has order Zelda to head to the Temple of Time, in order to see if anything there could help awaken her powers. Zelda sets off quietly, with minimal company, as not to attract too much attention lest the Town’s folk be hit with another attack. It seems, however, that these precautions won’t be enough...Defeat key enemies

So this is a pure Zelda sidequest, with no other characters except for eggbot because I said so. Starts out normal when SURPRISE! Bunch of monsters appear and Zelda has to whip out her iphone and fight them. 

Also!! Good time for the Hollows to show up, and you know, tell her what a failure she is and all that. Convince her that she's useless and gonna doom everyone. All that good stuff!! It’s just nice to catch up with the villains and see how they’re doing, you know? ‘Sup Hollow Urbosa, last I saw you were barely spitting words in the Lost Woods, and now you’re giving full hard-hitting insults to Zelda’s character and ability? Good for you, Queen, good for you.

So Zelda and a handful of guards are fighting off monsters, and Zelda has to beat the Hollows too. Her gambit dialogue when she defeats Hollows can be stuff like “You’re not the real ___” or something idk, I don’t have a lot of experience with the evil clone trope, I’ve never played Ocarina of Time. But one specific I DO want to highlight is that Zelda uses the nearby Sheikah Tech to defeat the enemies. I find it a bit weird how Zelda just knows how to use those random water canons in the Faron region in later chapters, so we’re just gonna at least set up a pattern so that it makes a bit more sense later. Plus! This is in front of the Great Plateau, AKA Gate Post Town/Garrisons AKA oh lOOK it’s that area where Link and Impa and eggbot first meet in that Impa introduction scene of my rewrite so we have already established that Sheikah Technology is being stored here and ready to use! Continuity in world building! Nice.

So Zelda uses her knowledge of Sheikah Tech to defeat the Hollows, when...dun dun dun! Astor appears. But you don’t fight him...

Astor: Have you listened to one word spoken to you today? Why are you still resisting? Let me help you.

Zelda: And what exactly is your plan? You wish to kill me, then?

Astor: Not quite. I mean, if you do die, there are ways I can manage, so if some stray Yiga blade happens to strike you I’m not completely doomed.

Astor: But no, the most optimal outcome for everyone is the one where you live yet. You must see the truth as I do, and let me fix this. I can undo this terrible knot destiny has thread for you. [and insert other fate sisters and sewing metaphors here]

Zelda: But how? What’s your game here, if you’re truly claiming to be in everyone’s best interest then why all this secrecy?

Astor: Ah...ever the one to look for the facts and logic, hmm? Can’t blame you, you get it straight from your mother.

Zelda: …!

Astor: But...I’m afraid even if I did tell you now, you’re in no state to truly grasp it. No...the only way this works is for you to truly understand the position you're in, and the stakes that hang in the path before you. 

Astor: And if I have to kill every King, Champion, or knight to get you to understand…

Astor: Then so be it. 

[dun dun dun]

Zelda: No! I won’t let you hurt anyone, I swear it!

Eggbot [just pretend eggbot can have dialogue boxes too]: *chirps* 

Astor, suddenly noticing eggbot: ...You…you’re one thing I still don’t—

Eggbot chirps again beside Zelda, both seeming to be angry at Astor’s words. Eggbot releases a glowing flash of light. Kinda like a...flash bang? [is that the right word idk]

Astor: Ah—! *and he teleports away to escape* Astor: Until next time then...Princess

And that’s pretty much the sidequest. Zelda can question what exactly eggbot did, but he’s not exactly the most verbal in responses. Finally it ends with Zelda going home, “He was still right though...I’m still sitting in failure, with not a hint of my powers awakening. All I have is some Sheikah tech, some exhausted shoulders….and well, you, I suppose, little one.”

“Come, it’d be a waste to continue forth in this condition. Let’s go back to the castle.”

Eggbot: *happy whistles and chirps*

= = = = = 

Tune in next time folks, as we dive back into the main event! Needless to say, Chapter 4 is where the shit starts to go down...

[givemeonebreath]

A big, messy Linked Universe playlist

Link for Links

Heavy on the angst, because of who I am as a person. (At the same time, don’t take it too seriously, man.)

Influenced by canon, manga (TP Link is really Going Through It™ ), my personal perceptions, and popular fandom canon.

A pretty wide variety of genres, with a bias towards metal and prog rock.

I kept snippets of lyrics for most songs, also because of who I am as a person. (Some were particularly hard to narrow down to just one verse or chorus.) Those - and a little more rambling - are under the cut if you really want, in the order of the playlist. But. It’s long.

I didn’t initially make this with the intent to share, but hey. Throughout my past year+ of listening, I’ve been haphazardly adding songs to a playlist I very creatively named Links. If something reminded me of them, whether through the music or lyrics or both, I threw it on the playlist, so some songs might seem odd or vague. Some are really on the nose, as subtle as a sledgehammer. (Sky for Sky? Dude. Sorry.) Some are there because of a fitting line or two that stuck in my head. Ultimately, music - like any form of creative expression - can be interpreted in a multitude of ways. 

My listening habits and tastes are erratic, which is why this is one big, jumbled playlist and not separated for different Links. Not to mention if I did that, some (Wild, Legend) would have a lot and some (Wind, Four) would have none, both because of my own familiarity with them, and because of the general themes of the music I tend to listen to. Most songs are a general ‘hero’s spirit reborn’ mood, anyway - those are the first part of the playlist. The second half is more nuanced to specific Links, plus a few Ganon vibes.

1. Deep Purple - April (Koji Kondo, composer of the original Legend of Zelda theme, was into Deep Purple as a kid, and it shows.)

2. Kamelot - Regalis Apertura

3. Au4 - So Just Hang On, Beautiful One (I’ve posted this here before. I can’t hear it without thinking of LU now.) So I slipped in through the gate almost unknown. All my border stamps were late. Seven days old. Cold hand griped my shoulder blade, broke the bone. Bloody nose and turned away, all the way home.

4. FC Kahuna - Hayling Don’t think about all those things you fear, just be glad to be here

5. Glass Animals - Youth Boy, when I left you you were young I was gone, but not my love You were clearly meant for more Than a life lost in the war

6. Pain of Salvation - Restless Boy A restless boy in a world too slow A flame born into cinder, ash, and glow I've given everything I gave it all Yet find myself alone

7. Haken - The Endless Knot Our design shifted frame by frame! Across the line our cycle starts to fail. Our design shifted frame by frame! Across the line we die to live again.   We need a story to believe in. We need a hero to prevail. We need a challenge we can overcome, it takes a tragedy to make us one 

8. Kamelot - Memento Mori (I particularly associate this with Time and Twilight) I am the god in my own history The master of the game I may believe if she would come to me And whisper out my name Sometimes I wonder where the wind has gone If life has ever been Sometimes I wonder how belief alone Can cut me free from sin

9. Katatonia - Fighters Look I told you so We never stop If we said that We'll back it up For sure You know We're fighters

10. Megadeth - This Day We Fight! (I mean, all Links, but particularly Warriors) For this I was chosen, because I fear nothing With confidence I tread through the dead of the night Off to another war-torn, faraway battlefield Wherein lies a demonic enemy horde

11. Moon Tooth - Igneous Well, the spirit took me And this old broken body leapt up and danced Settin’ out Settin' out with all my heroes in a bundle at my back Hawk am I More wings span in my shadow than overcast Yeah, you know what they say Always need something to look up to, ha

12. Samael - Moongate Destiny, tomorrow is today Destiny, without boundaries How many nights will we spend together traveling infinity back and forth and again How many times will we go together questioning eternity about us about our wonders...

13. TOOL- Parabola This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion

14. Lunatic Soul - Blood on the Tightrope No matter how hard you try To shut down your feverish thoughts They hunt you down with no regret Cause you have to fix it all

15. Hybrid - Keep It In The Family

16. Soul Savers - Unbalanced Pieces Gone, now carry on Through violent seasons I call you mother, mother, mother In vain, absent chain The twilight's bleeding And the playing board has two unbalanced pieces

17. Steve Von Till - Valley of the Moon All she gives is a stone facade Like ill-given flowers at a dead man's wake Here we slave for the dreams of another And fight over scraps like wayward dogs

18. Ludovico Einaudi - Experience

19. Lunatic Soul - Summoning Dance Three stones on the right side Three stones on the left My vicious circle of life and death   “Oh you want it” I hear it again “Oh you want it” My burden Curse to break

20. Lunatic Soul - Through Shaded Woods Run through your shaded woods Run through your shaded mind Run through the night Run away Run through the darkness Run

21. Lunatic Soul - Naavie

22. David Bowie - Nature Boy There was a boy A very strange, enchanted boy They say he wandered very far Very far, over land and sea A little shy and sad of eye But very wise was he

23. The Dandy Warhols - Sleep Well, I could sleep forever But it's of her I dream If I could sleep forever I could forget about everything 

24. Au4 - Everyone is Everyone (and Everything is Everything) Tripping and tumbling, Flipping and fumbling. Flowing on the rivers of sadness That have been forever rumbling.   But from dawn until now Of all the paths that I could have gone down Of all the valleys That I could have been flowing through.   In spite of all the chaos And all that has come between us, How is it I still find myself Here with you. 

25. Kingcrow - Everything Goes Your hands again upon the ground Falling rain for hours and hours As you learn the game Time dispels the fog ... Ever been there? Ever felt like prey? Ever thought your mind was feeble? Lot of things that don’t make sense

26. Pain of Salvation - Icon As a child I felt too old And now when I'm grown-up I feel too young A different kind so I've been told Just slightly out of reach and out of time

27. Sophia Loizou - Divine Interference (I got spooky dungeon vibes. Also, the title.)

28. Carpenter Brut - Fab Tool Runnin Gunnin Forward in the phantom shatter so grand Splatter grand, arcanum fuel Wrought iron out of the sky Over me, tells no lie

29. Blue Stahli - Death Will Have to Run All on the open road Where none will ever grow A journey toward the known With countless miles to go

30. Gyroscope - Mistakes & Ladders I am the first? No I can't be the first A continuous nothing, destined for something Tell me who you are and why you trapped me here

31. Queens of the Stone Age - Run, Pig, Run Run, pig, run Here I come

32. Chali 2na & Krafty Kuts - Guard The Fort The swords are drawn and odds are stacked And we clash the impact's a thunderous clap Calm demeanor Even though we are under attack [...my turn to guard the fort ready for combat]

33. The Great Discord - Army of Me (lol)

34. Kongos - Terrified I think I'll start again and change my name You only live once or twice, what a shame Somebody fucked up when designing this game

35. Woodkid - Run Boy Run Run, boy, run! This ride is a journey to Run, boy, run! The secret inside of you Run, boy, run! This race is a prophecy Run, boy, run! And disappear in the trees

36. The Beta Machine - The End A million miles away from you this time I'll do what it takes I'm on my way If lines are in the sand I'll go under If I can make it in time I will bring you back with me

37. Devin Townsend Project - Gump When we last met who was I? I'm sorry we no longer see eye to eye The energy to keep you in while keeping myself out I'm sorry how you'll take this  But I just don't have the patience anymore 

38. Arrested Youth - Riot! I can't get much satisfaction living in this cave It's tough to breathe, I'm in the belly of the beast Can't sleep with all my rage With me and all my generations living in this cage Pick up your guns and tell your sons, tonight we break the cage

39. Led Zeppelin - Friends So anytime somebody needs you Don't let them down, although it grieves you Some day you'll need someone like they do Looking for what you knew

40. Faunts - M4, pt 2 (Wild) Fight your foes you're not alone Holy war is on the phone Asking to please stay on hold Bleeding loss of blood runs cold And I need you to recover   Because I can't make it on my own

41. Faith No More - Ashes to Ashes (Wild) I want them to know it's me, it's on my head I'll point the finger at me, it's on my head Smiling with the mouth of the ocean And I'll wave to you with the arms of the mountain

42. Devin Townsend - Jupiter (Wild) I know you At least I think I do Everything's changed But in the days that are so dark It's wonderful

43. Katatonia - Neon Epitaph (Wild) Shadow of my shadow Cling not to my grief I am long left behind now You are free

44. The Smashing Pumpkins - The Beginning is the End is the Beginning (Wild) Time has stopped before us The sky cannot ignore us No one can separate us For we are all that is left The echo bounces off me The shadow lost beside me There's no more need to pretend Cause now I can begin again 

45. Katatonia - Lacquer (Wild) My voice travelling Soaring bird above your head The house we lived in Ridden with disease ... The levee breaking I can't live to fight once more The road to the grave is straight as an arrow I'm just staying around to sing your song, baby

46. Eskimo Joe - This is Pressure (Wild) There is no romance in suffocation  The walls fall down like your expectations You want to scream  And you want to shout But you've built up steam  And you can't let it out This is pressure 

47. Portugal. The Man - 1000 Years (Wild) We'll wait 1000 years  Until the end of time We'll wait 1000 more Dressed up in gold and white We'll climb the mountain sides  To find what's in the sky We'll dig through mountain sides  To find what's deep inside

48. Au4 - An Ocean’s Measure of Sorrow (Wild) Forgot my name and who I was. Memories of nothing floating up. All of the sorrow we once knew, Colours the ocean's water blue.

49. Band of Skulls - Carnivorous (Twilight) I am corrosive and cohesive Like a chemical bond I'm all together undone I am the broken kingdom I'm just so, so, so  So carnivorous

50. Glass Animals - Flip (Twilight) I wanna go back with a club and attack I wanna take to my guns and break you I gotta make my little foe take his own

51. TV on the Radio - Wolf Like Me (Twilight) My mind has changed my body's frame, but, God, I like it My heart's aflame, my body's strained, but, God, I like it

52. Kamelot - The Spell (Twilight) All my demons cast a spell The souls of dusk rising from the ashes So the book of shadows tell The weak will always obey the master

53. OSI - Radiologue (Legend) I was dreaming I was heading west thirty days faster Had a fever woke up in a sweat bailing out the water  Can't go on Can't go back   Heard your voice coming through the noise wrote it in the radio log Hurt my head, wondering what you said so I threw it overboard  

54. Katatonia - Don’t Tell A Soul (Legend) I have been destroyed by the perfection that is a lie see I'm moving soon see my feet are already on the road and if you know where I’m going don’t tell a soul

55. Haken - The Mind’s Eye (Legend) The shape of things to come are closer than they seem Changing your design every time you disappear I'm planning my escape through portals of your mind Where people seem to drop like flies

56. Pain of Salvation - Species (Legend) Sometimes I hate my fucking species Yet most days I'll do anything to please it  My generation was fooled to pursue our dreams But it is not what it seems You never need what you want And you rarely want what you need

57. Euringer - Do You Kiss Your Mama with That Mouth? (Legend) All my life, misunderstood I'm fuckin' too smart, too smart for my own good The last question, before I go is "Hey motherfucka, do you kiss your mama with that mouth?"  Yes! I kiss your mama with this mouth

58. !!! - Pardon My Freedom (Legend) Like I give a fuck, like I give a shit Like I give a fuck about that shit Like I give a fuck about that motherfucking shit

59. Team Sleep - Ataraxia (Legend) Froze asleep Coma deep I dream I'm out with you Alone at sea

60. Oliver Tank - Embrace (Legend) You're in my dreams The world is torn apart at the seams And I don't wanna leave Wearing my heart on it's sleeve

61. Machine Gun Fellatio - The Girl of My Dreams (Is Giving Me Nightmares) (Legend) The girl of my dreams is giving me nightmares I don't know what it means but she's got multi-coloured hair When she stands in the sand I dream of peaches And I'm not sure what that means either

62. Earl Greyhound - Shotgun (Legend & Hyrule) I am nobody, nobody is who I am I am a traveler on this land And nothing, nothing, nothing in my hands

63. TV on the Radio - Staring at the Sun (Hyrule) You're staring at the sun You're standing in the sea Your mouth is open wide You're trying hard to breathe The water's at your neck There's lightning in your teeth Your body's over me

64. Echo & The Bunnymen - The Killing Moon (Time) Fate Up against your will Through the thick and thin He will wait until You give yourself to him

65. Sufjan Stevens - Sugar (Sky) Don’t break my heart, don’t break my flow now And all this rage has got to go now Let’s take up this lifeline Come on, baby, gimme some sugar Don’t make me wait Don’t make me wait too long Don’t make me sing the sad song Come on, baby, gimme some sugar

66. Obsydians - Ascension (Sky) Rise above the hardships you’ll face I will sign and keep on rising As long as you are giving me your soul and keep me awake Feel like home and spread your light around I will listen and just be there As long as you are giving me your love I’ll give you my soul

67. Sonique - Sky -_-

68. Enter Shikari - The King (Ganon) Watch your back, my friend I'm about to kickstart a cycle Of never ending revenge And this time it's primal, it's tribal

69. Saul Williams - WTF! (Ganon, Hylia) "You've been polluted, uprooted by time You have been muted, computed but I'm A living vessel of the one, of the moon, of the sun" Hey! You ain't as dead as you seem, what the fuck? Hey! But you keep living your lies

70. These New Puritans - We Want War (Ganon/ Dark Link/ any nemesis I guess) Shadows dance back up, it's happening again If you listen carefully you might hear them whisper: "We hold all the secrets, we hold all the words; But they're scrambled and broken so you'll never know" Can't you see them Floating like black ash? Can't you feel them Crawling down your back?

[cactusnymph]

Prompt fill #10 for @dimension20alphabet:

Jitters / Joy

One of the most important lessons Gorgug has learned from his parents is to always talk about his feelings—not necessarily with his parents, but with someone, maybe even anyone, especially if it was something that makes him feel bad.

 Gorgug learned that his parents are usually right about stuff like this when he simply gave up on talking about his rage issues—simply because his parents were never angry in their life and it had been frustrating to try and explain it to them. Instead of just going away, like Gorgug had hoped, his anger had become worse.

 Now he has Zelda and Ragh to talk to when his anger feels overwhelming or shameful or scary. And his parents were right.

 Talking about his feelings helps.

 Or, in this special case, freaking out with either one of those two or both of them was really good to keep his anger in check in the long run.

 Sometimes finding the right person to talk to about a specific problem is a challenge. He has tried to breach his recent conundrum with Fig, but she only stared at him with blank eyes and seemed so confused that Gorgug decided that she wasn’t the right person for the job. To be fair, maybe she was still scarred from that whole debacle with her mom and Garthy. Or maybe she is just so in love with Ayda that she can’t imagine being in his position at all.

 Finally, Gorgug decides on Jawbone.

 Jawbone is great to talk to for a big variety of topics, although sometimes Gorgug just prefers talking to someone his own age. But in this case it seems unlikely to find someone and Jawbone is perfect simply because Gorgug knows that Jawbone has experience with the topic that’s keeping Gorgug up at night.

 That topic being polyamory.

 When he first heard about it in relation to Jawbone he hadn’t really known what it meant, so he asked Adaine about it. Adaine who—in Gorgug’s book knows about almost everything—didn’t disappoint and explained that some people are in a relationship with more than one person.

 Gorgug still remembers the feeling in his stomach that reminded him of missing a step on one of the stairs at school or the first few seconds of an elevator moving down. He identified the emotion as excitement, which then led to guilt towards Zelda.

 Feelings are really complicated.

 He walks around in front of Jawbone’s office for what feels like an eternity and his nervousness gets worse the longer he walks, so finally he just rips the door open and forgets to knock.

 Jawbone is eating a salad and chokes on a lettuce leaf when Gorgug nearly pulls the door off its hinges before quickly entering.

 “Um—sorry”, he says sheepishly and scratches the back of his neck.

 “Hey there, Gorgug. I would say come in, but...”, Jawbone chuckles and motions to one of the cozy armchairs standing in front of his desk. Gorgug sits down and tries not to accidentally break anything while his fingers nervously try to find something to occupy themselves with.

 “What’s up, kiddo?”, Jawbone asks gently and puts his salad bowl aside.

 “I guess I wanted to talk to you... about—um. About you being poly?”, Gorgug says, his voice a little higher than normal. He tries to calm his breathing but his stomach feels a little bit like someone dropped one of Fig’s bathbombs in there.

 “About me being poly? Or about you possible being poly?”, Jawbone asks and Gorgug feels a flush on his cheeks.

 “Yeah. I mean. About me, I guess.”

 “Okay, that’s cool. So, tell me a little bit about that”, Jawbone says encouragingly and smiles at him, pushes his glasses up and leans back in his chair.

 “Uh—well. I’m—hm. So, Zelda is my girlfriend. And I—I—uh. Iloveher. And. And it’s really good being with her and I don’t want to break up or anything. But—um. But I also like someone else? If that makes sense.”

 “Yeah, that makes total sense to me, kiddo. So, have you talked to Zelda about liking someone else?”

 “No. I’m scared to hurt her. Like, what if she thinks I don’t like her anymore because I like another person? Or if she thinks she’s not good enough as a girlfriend. She’s, like. Really awesome. I don’t want to make her feel bad. And—and I don’t know if that—if that other person... Um. If h—if they like me back at all.”

 Jawbone is listening to him patiently and nodding along, like he knows exactly what Gorgug is talking about. It makes him feel a little less nervous and he finally manages to loosen his grip on the armrests of the chair.

 “So, the most important things about polyamory are communication and consent, right? Truth being told, that’s the most important thing in any relationship, but if you’re potentially juggling more than one partner, then it becomes even more essential. And if you and Zelda trust each other, there should be no problem in expressing your feelings, right? Liking another person doesn’t have to take away from you liking Zelda. Just like you liking Riz doesn’t take away from you liking Fabian or Fig or Kristen or Adaine. And hey, maybe she will be a little shocked, or maybe she will say that she’s not poly, or doesn’t want to try. And it might end up staying a closed relationship, right? That’s entirely possible. But if she’s open for it and trusts you, then maybe you two can talk about it and you can think about telling that other person about your feelings too. It’s just important that everyone is open about their feelings and everyone knows about what’s going on, you know?”

 Gorgug nods.

 Being open about feelings is something he’s been working on anyway, and something he’s been taught since he was small. He thinks about what Jawbone said and it makes sense, that just because he has five friends, that doesn’t mean his love for them is diminished by liking other people too.

 Now that he thinks about it, romance seems to be the only thing that has this pressure of being an exclusive thing. Parents are supposed to love all their children equally. Siblings might like some more than others, but Gorgug assumes that this doesn’t have anything to do with the number of siblings. He loves both of his dads, too.

 It makes sense.

 “I can give you some stuff to read, if you’re interested”, Jawbone says, watching him attentively as if to see if Gorgug is upset. But Gorgug, now that he has entangled his worries into words and said them out loud, and after thinking about what Jawbone said, feels an inexplicable sense of joy about his new understanding of things.

 He’s not sure he would have gotten here on his own, but he’s learned that he doesn’t have to.

 And the thought about having two partners is such a happy potential unfolding in front of him that he feels a smile spreading over his face.

 “Yeah. Yeah, I think I would like that”, he says. “Thanks a lot, Jawbone. I’ll—uh. I’ll talk to Zelda. And. And um—maybe then I’ll talk to... Ragh. Depending on how it goes with Zelda.”

 Jawbone’s face breaks into a big smile and he reaches over the desk to clasp his clawed hand on Gorgug’s shoulder.

 “I’ll have my fingers crossed for you, kiddo. Ragh is a good kid. And so are you and Zelda. I’ll lend you that book when you come over next time, okay?”

 “Yeah. Yeah, okay. I feel like I might be over again soon”, Gorgug says and scratches the back of his neck as Jawbone chuckles.

 “Well, I’m glad I could help you out, Gorgug. If you have any more questions, my door’s always open.”

 “Thanks, Jawbone.”

 “No problem, kiddo. And by the way? Welcome to the community.”

[oceanera12]

Linked Tri-Force (Part 1)

More Linked Universe because I’m addicted to these boys! Help.

Hyrule knew the others had secrets. That was the one secret no one bothered to hide. It was for that reason no one pressed, thank Hylia. 

Of course, that didn’t stop questions.

“Nope, not telling!” Legend made the motion of sealing his lips shut.

Wind hopped from one foot to another, clearly annoyed, “Come on! No one else has been sailing!”

“Well-” Wild started, but was quickly cut off by Wind.

“A raft plus a korok leaf does not count as sailing,” Wind glared at Wild, who just shrugged in response.

“Worth a shot.”

“It really wasn’t,” Wind shook his head. “But back to Legend--”

“Still not telling Mr. ‘Pirate’.” Legend rolled his eyes. “Honestly, not a lot happened to me at sea. Just water, then land, then water.”

Wind didn’t look like he believed him but also had enough sense to leave it alone. Legend had been in a lot higher spirits since their run in with Marin a few weeks back, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t snappy.

“Alright, alright,” Warriors called, “Other then ‘sailing stories’ what other stories do you have?”

It had been a long day of walking across the current Hyrule (Hyrule’s Hyrule, which wasn’t confusing at all) and if anyone had been disturbed by the absence of people, they hadn’t said anything. The sun had long set and instead of doing the sensible thing and sleeping, someone (Wind) had persuaded Time to allow a ‘story time’ of sorts.

There had been a total of three “scary” stories, four tall-tales, and a few clips from their various adventures (”I’m sorry, your Zelda shoved you off a floating island?” “She thought I was lying about not hearing my loftwing. It wasn’t her fault.” “She shoved you off a floating island???”).

Legend shrugged at the question. “Nothing to brag about.”

Hyrule bit his tongue to prevent the multiple questions about the various stories he had grown up with about the hero of Legend. If even a tenth of them were true, then Legend was either modest or just didn’t want to talk about it. And no way in Hyrule was he going to tattle on the hero of legend.

“I’m sure our pirate has some fun pirate stories though, right?” Legend raised an eyebrow in a silent challenge.

Wind cocked his head to the side in confusion. “Uh... like what?”

“Ever go pillaging?” Warriors asked.

“What?!” Wind shot to his feet, clearly affronted. “No! Why would you even say that?”

“Clearly the word ‘pirate’ means something different in your world,” Time pressed his hands to his mouth in thought. “Do you look for buried treasure?”

Wind wasn’t as angry at that question. “Well, I got some charts that lead me to rubies, joy pendants and tri-force shards.”

Hyrule had picked that moment to take a sip of soup, which was immediately inhaled and then spat back up in shock. “Tri-force shards?” He managed to gasp between coughs. The back of his hand suddenly felt very warm and Hyrule resisted the urge to run in the opposite direction.

Thankfully, Hyrule wasn’t the only one concerned about the sudden Tri-Force talk. Time had paled, Twilight and Legend were shifting in their seats clearly uncomfortable, Warriors and Four had leaned forward curious, and Wild looked very confused.

Which he decided to voice. “What’s the tri-force?”

Hyrule wasn’t sure if he should laugh or cry at that question. Nor was he even sure where to start on that answer.

Twilight let out a heavy sigh, resigned to his role of mentor. His hand dropped onto his gloves and gauntlets, fiddling with the straps. “The tri-force is a gift from the gods. It’s made of three pieces: The tri-force of wisdom, which is usually held by the royal family, the tri-force of power, which in my world was possessed by Ganondorf for a very, very long time,” Twi paused for a moment, closing his eyes. He pulled his glove free and held up his hand to face everyone. After a moment, the very faint, very familiar gold glow appeared.

Hyrule instinctively covered his own hand and prayed it didn’t start glowing in reaction.

You’re a coward.

“And the tri-force of courage, usually held by the hero of the time,” Twilight opened his eyes and lowered his hand, the glow fading. He looked over at Wild, “I’m surprised you don’t know this.”

Wild had his face scrunched up. It was a familiar look for him. “I think... I remember hearing that story as a kid. Maybe.” He shook his head, “I mean, I see that symbol everywhere in ruin architecture and I knew it was on the Master Sword but... I guess I never questioned what it was?” The scrunched look disappeared. “I do remember that’s what Zelda used to seal the Calamity away with so... maybe she has the whole thing?”

Wind let out a low whistle, “Well, in my world, if you bring all three pieces together then the gods will grant you a wish.”

“Well,” Legend sighed, “at least that’s one thing that’s consistent.” He leaned back against the log he was sitting against, “That thing is nothing but trouble.”

“Agreed,” Warriors had this far away look in his eyes. “Wars have been fought for control of the Tri-force. Millions have died in the attempt to wield it.” He pulled off his own gauntlets and gloves to reveal his own tri-force of courage. “All that death... for what?”

“Geez,” Sky said, “I was expecting something like that out of the Old Man, not you.”

“He’s called Warriors for a reason,” Four pointed out.

“That’s fair.”

Time was looking torn, his eyes flicking between Twilight and Wind. He almost looked... confused.

Hyrule filed that back into his mind for a future conversation, but for now... he had to tread carefully. “So... why was your tri-force in pieces?”

Wind shrugged, “Don’t know. Maybe it was a way to see if I was worthy for it? Most were hidden behind trials of courage, like the ghost ship or just mini-dungeons.” He pointed at Warriors and Twilight. “Although, my tri-force is now at the bottom of the Great Sea. How’d you get yours and why do you still have it?”

Warriors smirked, “It just kind of appeared during a particularly nasty fight. General Impa was in trouble so I just... jumped in.” He frowned, “As for the second thing... heck if I know?”

“Similar situation,” Twilight nodded at Warriors, “Some jerks kidnapped some friends of mine and I tried to fight them. Adventure ended and...” he pointed at his hand. “Still here. Ganondorf lost his though so that’s good.”

“Why isn’t it sealed away in the Sacred Realm?” Time suddenly asked.

Legend snorted, “Well, I don’t know about all of your worlds but my Sacred Realm got corrupted by Ganon. It’s called the Dark World now. Not really a good place to keep the Tri-Force.” Legend nodded at Hyrule, “Right, Rule?”

Hyrule forced a smile and kept his hands as still as he could.

You’re a coward.

“I think we can all just agree the Tri-Force is trouble and it would be best if we didn’t have to deal with it on this already weird adventure,” Warriors was pulling his glove and gauntlet back on. A chorus of agreements echoed from all the heroes and the topic was officially dropped in favor the weirdest modes of transportation they had come across on their adventures.

Hyrule only listened half-way, the back of his hand uncomfortably warm. His stomach twisted and turned in knots, the guilt screaming from within. The tri-force was already in their adventure. The others just didn’t know.

And Hyrule really didn’t want to tell them.

You’re a coward.

He had never asked for the Tri-Force, nor had he ever wanted to wield the entire thing. Actually, he had wanted to give part of it to the Royals when his adventure was over or just break it apart and leave the pieces in safe, secret locations but... It had felt wrong. Like, really wrong.

Like Hylia haunting your dreams and practically yelling, “NO!” whenever he started to think about it too much.

At this point, Hyrule had just accepted the fact that he was the guardian of the Tri-Force. He would never say he was at peace with the situation (there was only so much a person could take of monsters screaming for your blood and of people trying to kill you for it... including supposed friends), but he had gotten a hold on his life.

He didn’t hate the Tri-Force like they did (then again, the thing had saved him more times then he could count-- but it was also the reason he was alone all the time). Yes, it was powerful and yes, it was not to be taken lightly. In fact, Hyrule only used it’s magic in emergencies. His own magic was sufficient for most situations.

If anything, the Tri-Force was more like a travel companion. A very silent, strong companion that only jumped in when there was an emergency. Sometimes Hyrule even forgot he had it (only for an hour at the most, but he would take what he could get). But he could see why people wouldn’t want it around. It’s the same reason he avoided everyone in his own world:

Too much power.

Hyrule was snapped out of his thoughts at Time’s call for sleep. Hyrule made his way to his spot, his mind much to far away to acknowledge the calls of “good nights,” and “Wild, if there are frogs in my blankets again then so help me--”

He had fifth watch tonight. His watch would be followed by Time. Maybe he should talk to him about the situation. It would be good for at least one person to know about the power up his sleeve-- just in case. The heroes had been clear that they hadn’t wanted anything to do with the tri-force so Hyrule wasn’t too worried about them “trying to kill him for the golden power”.

Hyrule determined to do just that later in the evening.

Which was why he was very disappointed in himself for waking Time, wishing him a good watch, then climbing back into bed without a word about the tri-force.

You’re a coward.

---------------------------------------------------------------

I don’t think Wild knows what the Tri-Force is. I think he would have known before the Calamity, but I don’t think he remembers the legends and things like that. He knows the symbol and thinks it’s a culture thing.

Also, I don’t think most of the Links would have a positive opinion on the Tri-Force because while we know Time does not like the Master Sword or Hylia, the Tri-Force does not have an actual spirit. It’s an object. Therefore, it’s a lot easier to be annoyed at because everyone is after the “all powerful Tri-Force” and these boys are just DONE.

Poor Hyrule: he thinks he’s inadvertently been told to leave the group, the poor baby. I may make a part two that would be Hyrule “telling” everyone about that little thing on the back of his hand. Aka: ANGST/FLUFF. Let me know if you want to see it.

AND HERE IT IS

[magaprima]

Screencap supported scene breakdown analysis (requested by an anon)

Okay, let’s start with the opening shot

We see the whole of the throne here, and the fact Lucifer is clearly sat upon it, which tells us that despite Sabrina ‘claiming her crown’ after winning the Unholy Regalia, Lucifer is still very much in charge. He’s on the throne here and he’s comfortable, but look at how much Lilith is also leaning on it. She’s all over it. Lilith definitely is showing her claim too, not just by her own right, but by the child she carries inside her. They alll dismissed her because she wasn’t a Morningstar, but now she is one by proxy. Also I think this whole positioning is probably how Lilith was often stood by the throne in the pre-CAOS days when she was sitll in adoration and in love with the Dark Lord. She is playing a part here, after all, in order to survive, but what’s interesting is she’s not the one leaning in; he is. Showing that her ‘performance’ is working, that he is slowly, but surely starting to let down his guard, and believing Lilith is ‘back on side’. 

I have to admit I’m surprised at how approving you are of your only daughter getting married

Lilith’s whole language is pushing the domesticity here. She’s talking to him as a Mother(Stepmother might talk to a Father, rather than as a servant to a Lord, making more of that connection.

And look at the body language here, the performance she’s making:

Head down, eyes down as she talks about how he should be more selective, managing to not only make herself look suitably servile, but she looks non-threatening and demure. Fucking demure. Something Lilith definitely isn’t, but she’s playing the role of ‘expectant Mother’ and ‘caring Stepmother’ and ‘concerned partner’. Lilith is doing absolutely everything to appear non-threatening, most likely with the intent of having Lucifer forget himself long enough for her to gain the advantage. I also feel the whole vibe here is, despite Lilith saying that they were definitely ‘not together’, Lucifer has started behaving as if they are. After all she was ‘Satan’s Concubine’, and he’s not going to give up those privileges if he doesn’t want to. And I suspect if that was the case, Lilith has been ‘submitting’ for the sake of survival and the long-con, but it also adds another layer to her downcast eyes and appearing non-threatening. It’s both a reaction and a defence. 

She only meets his gaze to make her final point. And what’s important is she doesn’t shy away from that gaze. 

She meets it and doesn’t waver, she is making her point and she’s not trembling or hesitating. Lilith may be trapped in a situation here, but she’s not without power and she’s aware of that, and she is actively using it. And it’s an interesting/funny side-note that the point she’s making is ‘Caliban is bad for Sabina’. Stepmother!Lilith activate! Which fits in nicely with the Just-doesn’t-like-Caliban!Lilith. And when she meets his gaze, challenging his decision to give his approve, does Lucifer get mad or angry? Does he tell her to remember her place? Does he punish her? Nope. He leans for gossip sharing opinions time:

He leans in to Lilith, talking with her in a very private and intimate way, and starts sharing all his opinions and reasons why he thinks Caliban is a good match. This is someone who he says betrayed him, who he said he plans to kill, and yet, Lilith has managed to make him forget himself and take her as is confidante again. I have no doubt that had the pregnancy not been sped up, Lilith would have spent more months encouraging this trust and faith in her, playing to his ego and presumptions. 

But throughout this whole conversation we see Lilith consciously making an effort to look close, whilst always looking a little on edge, while Lucifer in his element, totally comfortable and absolutely happy to share his thoughts with Lilith. More than likely these moments are brief and we see Lucifer remembering her ‘betrayal’ and treating her as such (just as we saw his possessive anger when he noticed she was absent from the council meeting), but these are flashes of moments where Lilith is making him drop his guard and I would like to think over time they would have become more frequent and Lilith would have used them to her advantage. 

However it’s interesting to note that when Lucifer makes this intense close eye contact, Lilith breaks her gaze away

In fact, she’s shown to be unable to bear looking at him (either out of fear or disgust or a mixture of the two) so much that as he talks, she actually physically turns away

Which when you go through the scene more slowly and with more focus Lucifer does seem to notice, if only subtly. But you can see above that Lilith literally cannot bear to look at him or listen to him. We have confirmation here that her whole leaning in, talking softly, standing close, is an all an act for her own survival and it’s one she physically hates. I would say it has comparisons to Zelda when she has to pretend to be still under the Caligari spell. Knowing it’s required, but hating every minute of it, and feeling trapped in a different way to how you were trapped before, but still trapped. 

While he’s talking we see her eye roll secretly before offering tight and polite smiles, nodding in a display of agreement, pandering to all of Lucifer’s logic and ideas and opinions. Just as Zelda had to be seen to agree with everything Faustus said. We even see Lilith actively sigh with boredom and exhaustion at Lucifer going on and on with himself. And you hear the sigh too. I think this is interesting, not only because it confirms Lilith has not fallen back into old habits with him, she hasn’t become enamoured of him again and that she finds him tiresome...but that, at this point, Lilith feels confident enough in her own position and her own to be able to bored and tired rather than just afraid. And when you see how much she turns to just fear the moment she has Adam, tells me that she definitely did have a pregnancy-long plan to victory in place which was destroyed by the intervention of Caliban and the Plague Kings. 

The thing that drags Lilith’s full attention back is when Lucifer declares the most important reason to agree to the marriage is because Caliban looks great shirtless

Lilith looks quietly and suitably horrified and confused. You can’t see it as much in a singular screencap but she does look at Lucifer like ‘what the fuck?’, because you’re not meant to be getting the hots for the shirtless wonder of your daughter’s future husband. Also, because in a political arena how good someone looks topless should not be the most important reason to have them around. And also, though Lilith admits Caliban is handsome, you get the vibe she means that in the same way you can stay a statue is pretty...you’re not actually sexually attracted to it. So now with both Lucifer and Sabrina liking Clay Boy, Lilith is clearly thinking she’s the only sane one left. 

But the horror is nowhere near as much as it is when he mentions Grandchildren

Aside from the fact Lilith has no intentions of being a Step-Grandmother to any Caliban babies (literal personal hell), there’s also the added fact Sabrina is just sixteen and not even married yet and Lucifer is already mentioning her popping out kids. Considering how Lilith was treated in the beginning by the False God and Adam as expected to fulfil certain roles as a woman (wife, mother, someone who loves children and is nurturing and gentle and blah blah) it’s probably a wee bit triggering to hear the same things being expected of Sabrina. We’ve all (Michelle included, for that matter) already said that Lilith probably sees a lot of herself in Sabrina, a younger version of herself, so extra trigger point. But then the obviously main concern is ‘what the fuck was the point of me getting pregnant with your son to save my fucking life if you’re off already planning fucking grandchildren??’. Which is a fair and concerning point. Like as I said above, Lilith definitely had a pregnancy-long plan for her own continued survival and likely Lucifer’s defeat, and this talk of grandchildren is now throwing a big ole spanner in the works, And you see the flash of fear about this:

Microexpression of fear right there. And you see her quickly recalculating, trying to figure everything out, trying to ensure her own survival, and that of her child for that matter, isn’t going to be too effected by this...but in the end she’s forced to ask him outright. “And what does that mean for our child?” And she does deliberately use ‘our’, reminding him ‘you do have a fucking son to come remember??’

But she doesn’t manage to completely hide her fear and concern as she asks. You can see that in all likelihood her heart is pounding stressfully in her chest right now. Because right now all her plans are threatening to go right down the drain, and she’s thinking that carrying his child is going to do nothing except make her a prisoner all over again...and possibly dead eventually. 

Lucifer, however, just grins and says ‘Competition, I imagine’

Competition. And what does competition mean in these sorts of circles? It’s the same sort of competition that the Princes in Stardust had, they all killed each other in an effort to win the throne. This is going to be the upbring of Lilith’s child; constantly fighting his nieces and nephews for his right to the throne, constantly having threats on his life, constant fights in general...all in the name of ‘competition’, which Lucifer apparently thinks is a good, healthy thing for a fucking child to have. 

And you don’t have to be good at reading microexpressions to know what Lilith thinks about all this

High key horrified. And you also see elements of disgust. Lilith is genuinely horrified at the idea of her son just constantly at risk in the name of ‘competition’ and that Lucifer thinks this is perfectly okay. I think we genuinely see here the first flash of Lilith as Adam’s Mother. She was low key concerned before, but the moment Lucifer says this, her emotions get upped straight to horrified. I mean we saw in later episodes that she was perfectly okay with the idea of her son challenging Lucifer when he was grown, but that’s waiting till he was an adult and challenging one person for the sake of something important. Entirely different from ‘constantly fighting for your life, being attacked, never resting, in order to have some healthy competition’. A word which also implies, Lucifer would just have an attitude of ‘the strongest survive’, regardless of who suffers or who dies. I mean odds are Adam would be more powerful than the hypothetical grandkids considering his parentage, so the fact Lilith is horrified, enough so that she goes to SABRINA’S AUNTS in a effort to stop the wedding, seems to be much more linked to concern for her unborn child than any genuine claims to power. And I think foreshadows the rest of her part 4 narrative and just how far she’ll go for Baby Adam. 

And look, you can genuinely see her recalculating her plans and what she needs to do next. 

Like yep yep competition cool cool cool cool totes agree that’s great....must get to the Aunts. 

[abizarreyodelingincident]

Our Nightly Confidant 5

Four steps in my shoes

Four feels strongly.

In general, as a rule, but also in this specific situation, where sweat sticks his hair to his forehead and the pegasus boots chaff from constant overuse. From the slight burn of his arm muscles that nonetheless keep swinging the Four Sword.

Amazingly, the emotion at the forefront of his mind cannot be easily and neatly assigned to one facet of him. Annoyance isn't exclusive to any one side of him, quite the contrary. And the 'you can go die!' disdain is a taaaaad too specific as well.

White paws sweep at him and barely miss the top of his head. Would have hit Ezlo, if this had been his first adventure. The pang of nostalgia doesn't help his focus much.

Small bursts of magic and swings of his boomerang sting enough to keep his enemy on the backfoot. Behind him, a few roots twist enough for an opening beneath the trunk. If he can just...

The paw slams inches away from where he was standing a second earlier.

Urgh. It had to happen after they marched all day in search of civilization, didn't it?

Well, nothing to it, Four adjusts his sword and glares back at the slitted eyes trailed on him.

Which is when the loudest, most thunderous bark he ever heard rips the air in half and hammers in his eardrums. The white monster (cat) yowls in fright, fur straight up in horror, back arched, and it sprints right up a tree.

Wolfie is a familiar sight, and a welcome one at that.

But some instinctive part of him that is more Minish than Hylian can't help grip the Four Sword tighter.  From this perspective, Wolfie has more in common with Wild's divine beasts than a regular animal. His claws look about as tall as Four himself. And at the moment, the wolf is displaying a mouth full of fangs that promise a painful death.

He doesn't blame the cat for scampering. He's seen what those fangs can do to a throat. Or a wrist. Or an ankle. Not, really, he thinks the cat shows great wisdom in getting the hell out of Wolfie's range.  

But, because he is a Hero of Courage, he flips the sword in his hands, sheathes it and waves his arms.

“Twilight!”

The shift is instantaneous, and a little amazing to witness. The ears perk up, the posture straightens from its crouch, the teeth all disappear behind the black lips. It's a flip of Pacci's cane, a turn on a rupee, and there's the big beast their group loves.

“You okay there, Smithy?” Twilight asked, sniffing him for signs of injuries.

It's strange, hearing Twilight's voice coming through the sort of mental-bond-language of the Minish. Useful though. He's not certain he currently possesses the patience for some games of charades with a wolf.

“No injuries.” He puts a hand on the damp nose even as a burst of hot air washes over him. “Just a bit out of breath.”

“Right.”

It's not a doubtful tone, but there's some Time-patented exasperation in there.

“I would have been fine, you know?” says the part of Four that is a bit younger. “I dealt with lots of monsters even at this size.”

(Not Wolfie size though, that he thinks might be beyond him when shrunk.)

The flat look he receives makes him want to squirm.

He's too controlled for that.

“Yes, yes, I know.” He waves off the implied question. “I thought the innkeeper's cat was still inside.”

“He was. But after he mewled a bit, his owner let him out. And when I didn't see you... I had a feeling.”

Four wants to hit his head against a tree. Animals always were more aware of the scent of Minish magic. Many eyed him curiously when he walked through town. He should have known the cat would want to stalk after him. Probably thinking he knew where a village was hidden. He's going to have internal arguments about this all night.

“Cats are all bastards.”

To Four's amazement, Twilight's tail curls between his legs, his ears drooping. He rather looks more the guilty dog part than the majestic beast he insists he is.

“... But they're so cuddly.”

“When you're bigger than them, maybe,” Four deadpans. “Sneaky little shits.”

Twilight's whine is absolutely ridiculous and enough to make him snicker.

“Fine, fine. I'm not deaf, I hear what they say. Not as bad as cuccos, though.” Twilight's gaze wanders off to a faraway place. “Nothing is as bad as those psychotic birds.”

They lose a moment reliving their trauma over the feathered fiends.

Twilight shakes it off first. He lies down, his body like a hill of dark fur before Four, and hints at his back. Any protest Four might have had before dies in the face of his aching legs. He can fight off monsters at this size, but it's unreasonably more complicated. And he is not in the mood to stab spiders in the face tonight.

The fur is silky under his fingers, which is comforting but also a bit of a pain. Climbing means parting the coat of dark hairs and finding grip against skin. Sometimes, the body under him flinches or trembles, like Twilight is fighting off the urge to roll over. Four imagines it's quite similar to tickling. So he hurries up and makes his way up to the top of Twilight's head. Between the ears and roughly around the markings on his forehead.

Satisfied, Twilight stands, and the whole world blurs like he's still using his pegasus boots. A few more steps are needed before Four's body adjusts to the speed, and then he can relax. Twilight's safe.

And, he notes, not heading straight for the inn.

“We noticed the looks, you know,” Twilight says, because he's one of those busybodies that can't help mother cucco everyone around him till they are 'right as rain over a spring'.

“So?” he replies, even, practiced.

(Zelda had questions, at first, then orders that were swiftly obeyed, when in her sight. He hasn't told her that yet.)

“... How many of them do that?”

Do what? He wants to ask. The inn's owner had been quite polite, very careful in avoiding certain words around Four. Indeed so careful that Four could feel their syllables get more and more defined by the innkeeper's silence.

“Whisper?” he settles for. “A few. I'm weird, I know. Shorter than some kids, but can lift a hammer to forge. Own my business outside Castle Town, only shows up for groceries, talks to myself sometimes and stares at empty spots on shelves. I don't know, I suppose they expected me to apprentice beforehand, but there was a kingdom to save and what did that matter then?”

He punches the ground next to him before remembering too late it is Twilight's head.

The growl doesn't last. But the first few words he says are a bit more bitten out than the tone implies.

“There's a kid in my village. Younger than you. Couldn't lose the baby fat in his face for the longest time.” Twilight snorts, and his tail wags a bit. “And he's smart, really smart, a lot more mature than his older brother too.”

Four has a feeling that's partially due to the older brother's personality, but holds his tongue.

“People whispered behind his back. 'That boy is so creepy.'”

“Fey-touched,” Four says before he can hold back the red in him.

That one hurt. He's picked up habits from the Minish, he's aware. Little things like leaving keystones lying around for other kids or tiptoeing minish rings in the grass. But for those differences to matter so much, he hadn't expected until the first time the words had been floating around him.

“Ah,” Twilight says, followed by a whole lot of nothing.

Crickets around them sing. He can almost see some Minish putting a collar on the bugs to bring them home for a concert. Moving from behind stalks of grass, praying to the moon and the goddesses.

Then, Twilight says: “That takes me back.”

Four stumbles through the fur, his hands grasping on some new strands, but he can't tell if his unbalance is due a jolt in their steps or to the enormity of the idea. Twilight, the stereotypical rancher, seen as an outsider?

He tries, but all his brain conjures up is a much shorter version of Twilight dragging goats by the horns. That and dancing (badly) to the melody of a grass whistle.

Even from his spot atop Twilight's head, the eye roll is obvious despite being out of sight. “The only Hylian in a village of Humans?” he drawls. “Found as a toddler lost in the woods? Hardly able to speak for a while?”

Oh, Four thinks, that'd do it.

“They don't have the right to say that to you,” Twilight growls. “You're their hero.”

He could bask in the warmth. Lets himself lie down on Twilight and forget all about the events of tonight.

Curiosity wins, or well, violet does. “What did you do?”

“Nothing special? Just stayed the same and let them talk.”

Four's eyes bug out. “That's it? Nothing? How does that change anything?”

“When you're you, Four... When you're a good person regardless of rumors and whispers... Idiots don't stop talking, but the ones that are worth it stop listening.” A wolfish grin breaks out on Twilight's face. “Besides, you should have seen their black eyes after Rusl heard them say it to my face. After that... well, they could have called me the King of Evil and it wouldn't have mattered. Knowing you got someone in your corner's better than hollow praise from idiots.”

Four blushes.

He forgot for a bit, and he'll apologize to Zelda when he sees her, but it's true. Whenever he recalls that moment, the guard's words aren't ever the same. The phrasing lost all its power, outshone by the impassioned defense and the sheer anger wielded by his friend.

His back straightens. And he allows himself some childish pride in having the Princess of Hyrule in his corner. What do they have to beat that?

Twilight rumbles a laugh. “So... yeah, ignore them. Put them in their place if you want, the goddesses know you have the strength to do it, but that won't change their minds about anything. If you want some peace of mind, discard the idiots.”

Companionable silence falls between them. Four doesn't feel the need to speak after that bit of reassurance. They circle the woods, avoiding Hylians late on the road and monsters alike. Twilight's seemingly content just taking him on a ride, and Four's loath to admit he wants the moment to last a little longer.

They're not too far back from their starting point when he decides to ask: “About that kid?”

“Malo?”

“Yeah, him, how does he deal with it?”

Twilight does not answer right away. He first jumps over some large, gnarled roots and growls at a fox that seemed a bit too curious about the smell of Minish magic. Four's grateful for the time to calm his pounding heart.

“Well, Malo just stares at them until they get uncomfortable. Then he asks them what they're looking for. It never seems to affect him too much.” – discomfort hits at that, and Four can't tell why – “But, well, it also happened in front of me, you know? And I take after my Pa. So I might have knocked a couple of heads together in Casle Town. Followed by a strong talking to. Not that Malo appreciated that I ran off some of his customers.” A sigh. “That kid, I swear.”

Four grimaces. That type of 'customers'. Will think they bless his forge with their presence, praise him to all ends, then turn around and whisper. “I'm sure he's grateful inside.”

“Eh, I hope so, but it's his call in the end. Can't live his life for him.” Some muscles roll, and Four gets the impression of a shrug. “Speaking of, what do you want to do, Smithy?”

The question takes him by surprise, and it's silly that he didn't expect it.

He knows that Twilight would spend the night outside with him if he asks. They're no strangers to outdoor camping and the woods of his era are less dangerous than most. Wolfie would intimidate most if not all the creatures that live inside it.

But it would be illogical to sleep in the woods when they have more than enough rupees to pay for some rooms in a local inn.

Four is reasonable. It's one of his trademarks as a Hero. Mature for his age. Calm. Collected. It's how he's taken seriously as an adventurer. Why would he shatter an illusion that useful? Over some mild ostracization?

'Serve it cold,' says one quarter of him.

Another sides with Twilight. Their big brother made a good point. They couldn't be bothered by every single ungrateful person out there. They'd always exist, so let them stew in jealousy and paranoia and fear. He has the favor of the Princess, his best friend. What does he need anger for against a countryside shop owner?

But, the blue in him counters with an hammer-like argument: 'No, the best revenge is both.'

The others would be a little mad, he thinks. A little.

He's usually mature enough not to get in trouble. He's due for some insanity and explosions. Wild would back him up here. And it might be his voice in his head that pushes the words out of his mouth.

“So, not that I haven't listened to a word you said, but, hypothetically, if I needed help knocking heads together...”

“How many heads? Wars mentioned an interesting technique he learned from his sparring with some Sheikah general the other night. Though, if you'd rather, I can say, without boasting, that a lot of grown men weep at this form. It's embarrassing for everyone, I tell you.”

Four snorts, struck by mischief. “We're going to need to find a stump. I might have a plan.”

Yes, Four contemplates, the glint of wolf fangs under the moonlight is just as terrifying as he figured it would be. He can't wait.

                                                        ***

Legend is silently debating with Sky over the right to punch the innkeeper in the face. It's a fierce debate communicated entirely through raised eyebrows, scrunched up nose, muted snarls and meaningful looks.

The others' patience is steadily fraying at the edges. It's especially noticeable with their youngest. There are fireworks going off on Wind's face. The knife cutting his slab of meat to pieces steadily stabs into it every time the innkeeper's mouth opens.

“And where are you fine young men traveling to?” he says with a customer pleaser smile.

'Fine young men'. Ah! There's a thing he didn't say about Four. The fucking nerves of this man.

“Far,” Time replies, his tone even, but his expression thoroughly unimpressed.

“Ah, yes, of course...” the innkeeper says agreeably. “You, huh, you'll be going with the, ahem, with the boy, I imagine?”

How dare he sound hopeful? And 'boy'?! This man's livelihood is owed to the smithy! And he doesn't even have the excuse of mind control!

A hint of shame tickles the back of his mind, when he had first heard the innkeeper talking. He had sounded nothing like the ones from his era, who sometimes refused him entry outright on the basis of old and false accusations.

This current attitude was, technically speaking, a strict improvement over that.

But does the man have to come alive and become so at ease serving them food whilst the Hero of this land take a walk outside? Alone, at night?

Legend grunts into his mug. The rancher left after the smithy, so that ought to solve the 'feelings' question. A bit of a stick-in-the-mud he might be, but Twilight's one of the few he would trust to help navigate difficult feelings. He's got the patience for it, unlike a lot of them who tackle everything the way they do a dungeon, with reckless abandon.

Yet, in the cozy warmth of the fire in the hearth, over the hesitant plucking of the minstrel's chords, a howl suddenly calls to the moon.

They, alone, do not tense.

The howl echoes a second time, much louder. Closer.

The innkeeper shoots them a desperate look, but Legend suddenly realizes that he is blind, and possibly deaf. He has no reason to stand up, much less draw his sword. And, would Farore look at that, his condition is contagious!

The hinges creak as they inch open.

If Legend were not so experienced, he might have been nervous. But he's better than that. He leans back in his seat, places a hand on Hyrule's shoulder, and sips his ale.

There in the doorway, cut in shadows with the moon as backdrop, riding on a large grey wolf, Four raises both arms high in the air.

“Fear my unnatural power,” he says with as ominous a voice he can produce.

Warriors snorts, cheeks reddened by alcohol, and he gives a thumbs-up to their smith, despite the owner's pale complexion.

The mugs left on the table begin to shake. Oh, this is gonna be good.

It starts with a pair of squirrels and a owl, neither obeying their instincts in favor of swooping inside the inn. Followed by a handful of moles, fireflies and stray dogs.

In a flash of white, the inn's cat bolts inside the inn, meowing, till it reaches its owner's legs and climbs onto him. It perches itself on his bald head, seconds before the first deer bounces inside the building.

Epona breaks the first table.

But the three raccoons lunging after his cat are what make the owner scream.

Legend guffaws in his ale.