#also a little first grader fell asleep on me and it was very cute

[banannabethchase]

I am very sunburnt, very burnt out, and eyes are burning from allergies.

One could say, perhaps, I'm on fire.

[pbandjesse]

I had a pretty hard day. I was not myself enough that my coworkers noticed and pointed it out. It was tough. I am feeling a little better right now in this moment. But it was a hard day to get through.

I fell asleep quickly last night. But I still woke up exhausted. I was glad I didn't have to drive because I felt so out of it. I got dressed and felt fine in my outfit. But I would get hot and cold throughout the day. Which was not comfortable. James would drive us to the museum. Stopping for breakfast. Which helped a little bit not as much as I hoped.

I went and got my program set up. I had first graders from a virtual school today. It would be the first time they were all together in person!! So that was really cute.

They were running late though. So I got to just sit outside and talk to Gaby for a while. I love Gaby. And she had great questions about our honeymoon.

When the kids got there we got them inside. Except it wasn't everyone. Half came with parents in cars and half would come on the bus. While we were waiting for the bus we had them watch a video in the theater. And at 945 we got started for real. 45 minutes late. Which was fine because it meant we got to cut the lights on tour which I hate anyway. And finally, finally, Jessica has decided we are just dropping that part of the program unless we need it (because of schedule or by request).

I had a great time with my group. When they first got together it was hugs and "you're taller in real life!!" And it was super cute.

And they did a good job! I wasn't as lovely as normal but I still was "on" and having a good time. They really liked coloring and kept saying they would need a few hours to make them perfect and I was like, love the energy but you have a half hour.

Next they had lunch. And I just sat and stared at the wall for bit. And when it was time for their next program I went and got them and we headed to lights on.

I meant to take a picture but I was not on my A game. Which was very apparent when the kids were so excited they were all just. Screaming? And according to Meril (who had been observing my program) said I just went. "Ok we're screaming okay" in a very flat tone.

We had some silliest after that, running and such. So getting neighborhood was a little tough to get through, plus the costumes were all on the wrong hangers and I got really confused. But it was fine and they all did a good job and we finished exactly on time and since most of them came with their parents I had an easy time passing them over and saying goodbye.

I collected all the neighborhood stuff. I kept feeling overheated and weird. I felt like I was moving really slowly and wasn't having a very good time. Jessica asked me to go make outreach boxes and then Jordan also texted me about it and then Gaby told me about it and it got me all stressed because I was still struggling to put neighborhood costumes away.

I would stop for a few minutes to show Stanley some honeymoon pictures. And then upstairs to get some boxes made. Which was alright. I got half of them done before Gaby came up. And then Rosia joined us. I had to run down to the front desk with James with double check the layout for the business cards they were printing for me. And then checked in with the girls before I heard out. All I wanted was to go home.

And it was a struggle to get home but I made it safely.

I would get some of my market things done. I needed to make a sign and paint some wooden marbles. And then I just wanted to take a shower.

I washed my hair. And because I needed more stuff to be sad about, after I got it bed I got an email that my hair dryer was recalled for electrocution risk??? I just got that!! So I'm pretty bummed. And my stomach felt weird. So I got up and ate a vegan chicken patty and some cheese curls and then went to sleep.

I woke up when James came in the room around 6. They let me know they were making Indian food and would come get me when it was done. Love them.

I went to the living room and we hung out and had our food. Then James worked on cutting out my business cards and I finished my wooden marbles. Which are going in my candy machine. Turns out I will for sure need more then 30 but at least I have those for now. The idea is that you out a quarter in and can win a discount if you get a certain color marble. I'm very pleased I hope people like it. I'm excited for my new branding this year.

I have been in bed working on my post and watching videos since then. I'm a little dehydrated. I'm going to go get a drink. And brush my teeth. And get ready for bed.

Tomorrow I have to go to the first day of the market!! I'm very excited. I hope I feel okay. And then I have an event at the museum. I hope to get some rest in between. Fingers crossed it works out how I want.

I hope you all have a great night. Sleep well my friends.

[imsothoroughlymodern]

The Way You Look At The Stars (Kyle Spencer x Reader)

Lol I wrote this for class and thought it would be fun to post. We love a good friends to lovers moment. This does use feminine pronouns but if anyone wants I can release one with gender neutral ones. Also tumblr keeps formatting it weird and I can’t fix it, if anyone knows how to let me know! Hope you enjoy!

Kyle’s breathing had slowed to a point that I wondered if he had fallen asleep. I didn’t dare take my eyes off the stars to check. I knew if I saw him sleeping, I would inevitably think about how cute he looked. Or if he happened to be awake, our eyes would connect for a heart stopping moment, but then he’d see the clear distress on my face. And I couldn’t have either of those happening.

It wouldn’t have been the first time he fell asleep like this, I thought, drumming my fingers on my stomach, trying to distract from the prominent pit that was resting low within.

There had been multiple times during our frequent stargazing trips that Kyle had magically fallen asleep on the hood of his car. I would always scoff, brushing a piece of hair off his forehead, but I would never wake him. He needed the rest.

The first of many times, he woke up close to sunrise and we huddled together, watching. In hushed whispers, I made fun of him, only complaining a bit about my own lack of sleep. He quickly jumped down, grabbed a checkered blanket out of his trunk, and slowly coaxed me off the hood.

“There!” He presented proudly as he laid the blanket down on the hood, patting it once for good measure.

I merely raised an eyebrow at him, too tired to come up with any response.

He rolled his eyes at me, chuckling to himself. He grabbed my hand gingerly and I felt myself being led back on to the hood without realizing it.

“This blanket,” he explained as he watched me feel the soft material underneath us, “was mine when I was little. Whenever I had a bad dream or something, it would always help me fall asleep,”

He began to lie down, pulling me down with him, snuggling into the blanket. I couldn’t help the smile that crept onto my face as I whispered “Cute,” feeling my heartbeat quicken at his sudden rosiness.

“Anyway,” he continued, “I thought that it might help you sleep too the next time we’re here,”

His eyes flitted away from mine for a split second, his cheeks growing pinker by the second. I was left speechless by such a seemingly innocent yet intimate act. Before I knew what I was doing, my hand reached out for his, lacing our fingers together. “Thank you, Kyle,” I said, barely holding back the other words I wanted to tell him. His mouth opened as though he wanted to say something in return, but he ultimately decided against it, settling on a contented smile before closing his eyes once again. I inhaled deeply, admiring his dimples, before falling into a much needed nap.

Hearing Kyle sigh next to me, I was brought out of the pleasant memory and back to present reality. Feeling the very same blanket underneath us, I almost laughed, realizing how recent that memory felt but knowing it had been longer. I had been harboring feelings for Kyle for longer than I would care to admit. I snorted, thinking of how horrified my middle school self would be that I still hadn’t made any moves. I felt Kyle shift closer, as I received a mental scolding from a kind of superficial eighth grade me.

***

The first day back from summer break was the beginning, and the buzz throughout the new eighth graders was that Kyle S. was now hot. I didn’t understand what anyone was talking about, he couldn’t have looked that different from when I had seen him just two weeks earlier. Plus he was just… Kyle. The same Kyle who cried in fourth grade because I stole his brownie at lunch. Kyle, who vowed to steal my cat one day when I wasn’t looking. Kyle, who had been my best friend for far too long to ever be “hot.”

The rumors were forced to remain as fact until lunch, for our schedules seemed to clash until that point. Filled with determination, I quickly made my way to our meeting spot, certain that nothing had changed. Upon arriving at our designated location, I found not Kyle but an unusual crowd of people. I looked down at my phone, double checking that the text he had sent did indeed say that he was at our spot, I hesitantly called out “Kyle?” hoping that he was buried somewhere deep inside the crowd.

Almost instantaneously, the swarm of eighth graders dispersed and allowed Kyle to step out from where he stood in the middle. “Y/N!” he screamed, running towards me. He engulfed me in a familiar hug, my eyes wide. Maybe… Kyle had changed? I was definitely having to stand on my tippy toes to return the hug, and was it possible that his voice was lower? Pulling away I blinked at him, a strange thump in my chest.

He grabbed my hand, calling out a “catch you later,” to the group of fans he was leaving behind, leading me into the lunch room as if this was the new normal. Kyle wasted no time telling me about all that he did at his Grandma’s house and how he wished I could have been there. I nodded along, trying to ignore the way that my best friend had transformed before my very eyes. Almost nothing had changed, but also so had everything. I brushed it off, he was still the same old Kyle. Surely these feelings would be gone by the next day, right?

How aggravated would middle school Y/N be to know that they didn’t go away? That they instead grew even stronger over the course of four years? I almost laughed, thinking about how she pissed would be to find out that we ended up liking everything about him, even the way that he would do the stupid things that boys do. Would she be upset knowing that I had given up and accepted that my best friend was destined to be just that?

***

“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” Kyle asked, his face popping into my field of vision. My eyes widened as I stared into his twinkling ones, he certainly hadn’t changed too much. He was close enough that I could see that stupid freckle that resided on the tip of his nose. Placing my hands squarely in the middle of his chest, I pushed him away, his proximity clouding my already murky mind.

I twisted my body to the side listening to his fake wounded complaints. Now, with my body facing him, laying on my side, I stared up at him smiling. ‘YOU’ my mind screamed as I patted the spot next to me, indicating he should lay back down. He clumsily made his way back down, causing the car underneath us to shake. I couldn’t help the small giggle that escaped my lips, “You’re gonna break your fucking car,” I told him.

Now back at eye level, Kyle’s eyebrows shot up, feigning innocence, “Betsy??” he patted the hood beneath him, “She’d never do that to me, I bet she’s offended you even said it,”

I watched as Kyle’s nose scrunched up, clearly proud of his little joke. I rolled my eyes in response, for nothing else came to mind. I found it hard to insult him when I could only think about how his hand had now found my own, gripping with clear intention to not let go but still gentle as ever.

My breath hitched as he scooted closer, “No, really, what’s up?” he asked, his features now concerned.

I sighed, what wasn’t up at that point? Clearly, my unrelenting feelings were a red letter issue but I couldn’t exactly share that one with him and the rest of the world. I settled on the easiest issue, “Tomorrow,”

He muttered out a small “ah”, I knew he wasn’t the fondest of talking about it either, “Kinda hard to believe we’re graduating already, right?” We’d had such a conversation once before. We had found out that though we welcomed the new beginnings, when you’re simply living for each day, the future is a bit daunting. His hand squeezed mine.

“What would middle school us think of us now?” I joked, slowly brushing one of his blonde curls out of his face.

Kyle breathed in slowly for a second before responding, “Well I know that little Kyle would probably be losing his shit right now,” he laughed for a moment before letting go of my hand and turning over to be on his back once again. My stomach twisted, what did that mean? My mind raced as I sat up. That laugh was one that I knew all too well but one that I never enjoyed. It was the laugh that he used to try to soften the blow of whatever bad news he had.

I stared down at him, trying to prepare myself for what was about to happen. Kyle’s eyes seemed to look everywhere but my own. They finally focused right past me to the stars as he gnawed on his lower lip. I couldn’t help but admire the light of the stars in his eyes. I almost laughed remembering how he had almost this exact look on his face when he asked out his first girlfriend. Although it had been three years since that event, it felt as though history was repeating itself. Except this time, I did not know what the outcome would be. I did not know if I was about to be left alone with my feelings. I did not know if he was going to go off with someone else. I did not know if fate had decided to smile upon me, and change the repetition of history.

I turned my head slowly outward, gulping, “Why?” I asked. I closed my eyes, terrified of the answer. Was this the end? Could it be a beginning?

I opened my eyes to see Kyle sitting up as well in my peripheral, “I mean,” he began, “I had this big thing for you in middle school,”

My breath hitched and before I could even think about what a proper response would be, I heard myself go, “Huh,” my mouth went dry. Huh was a severe understatement.

Clearly Kyle thought so as well for he repeated “Huh?” with a laugh. I finally allowed myself to look at him. Wide eyed, I stared at him. Lip still between his teeth, he stared back. It was the kind of eye contact that left me feeling as though he could see every thought running through my head and understood every single one. As we blinked at one another, I felt I could see his as well. Every moment of tension, every confession unsaid, every single year, full of feelings.

Kyle cleared his throat, “You know,” he began, licking his lips, “The first time we came up here was when I really knew. That it was the real deal y’know? The way that your eyes just lit up seeing the stars. I remember thinking ‘oh this is why I got my license’ which is stupid but… I was 16… you know?” He turned his gaze to the sky momentarily, “I almost said something but you were just so happy… So I just watched and hoped that one day you would look at me the way you look at the stars,”

He turned back, locking our eyes once more, suspending time momentarily. The world stopped as we both processed the years of unsaid confessions, and the knowledge that all of them were about to be uncovered. I felt as though a weight had been lifted off my chest, one that I hadn’t known was there until it being finally gone. So much to say and there would never be enough words to properly express what I was feeling in that moment.

His hand found mine once more, “Can I kiss you?” he asked in a mere whisper. I nodded. The kiss wasn’t anything too exciting but to us it meant everything. A slow first kiss shared between lovers, lovers who were friends for years, waiting anxiously for this moment, thinking that it would never happen, yet there we were. A kiss filled with a relief that we didn’t know ever existed. There we sat, on the hood of his car, kissing, not even realizing the rain that had begun around us.

[cherriesradio]

How MHA comforts your kid after a nightmare.

With Bakugo, Deku, and Todorki (Gn!reader)

Warnings: mentions of past abuse

Word Count: 1,863

Info on kids: (take in I got the names off a random website so tell me if it’s offensive)

Bakugo - Daughter, Named Ena, 6 years old

Deku - Twins, Girl: Fumiko, 10 years old, Boy: Akio, 5 years old

Todoroki - Son, Kento, 7 years old

Bakugo

He had been staying late for work, a habit he had been trying to stop for a while now. At least this time it was necessary because there was a big villain fight earlier that day, and he graciously offered to help with clean up.

Wanting to get the stress off your daughters shoulders, so decided to have a movie night.

Ena had taken a likening to Disney movies, some how. Though she did seem to most admire the villians more then the hero’s. Or the arrogant hero’s. Like father like daughter, I guess.

You pick Ena from school, on the way home she asks if what they showed on the news really happened, and “is daddy really hurt? I’m worried ‘bout daddy.”

You curse under your breath about why the fuck they would play the normal bloody and grim news infront of first graders. Sure, a lot of the kids parents are hero’s, but their parents should tell them that, not a TV.

You look at her at once at a spot light. Her sad face, her knees to her chest in the backseat. You place your hand on her knee.

“Don’t worry sweetheart. Daddy’s gonna be okay, he’s even helping clean up the mess later. So he’s gonna be home later than normal.”

Your happy when you see her get slightly less worried, knowing her dad is okay.

Once you get home you make her some ramen while she talks about her day at the counter.

You hand her the ramen, and offer taht after she does her homework and you check it, you could have a Disney movies marathon.

“What in the world is a movie marathon? Is it liek when those crazy people runnin’ for a while mile in like two minutes?”

You chuckle and roffles up her hair, kissing the top of her head. “It’s where you watch a bunch of movies in a row. We could do Disney.”

She instantly gains a spark in her eyes as soon as you say Disney, quickly squealing and running off to do her homework as quickly as she could.

Once she finished and you checked, her getting all the problems correct as normal, you get on the couch and start.

You go on for hours, at some points she sits down at the coffee table and plays with toys. Though she always ends up back cuddling into your chest, sitting in your lap, head turned to see the movie.

Around 10, she fell asleep. You thanked the lord that she didn’t have school the next day, also a little thankful she did stay up late, she would nap more the next day.

Quickly after you turned the movies off and fell asleep as well.

Bakugo sighed, annoyed that he had to stay till one in the morning to clean.

He was so ready to quickly eat left overs, kiss his little hothead of a daughters forehead, and then cuddle up to you as you slept. But NOPE, you just use to be all cUtE and cuddle with your daughter on the couch

How dare you be a good parent >:(

Though, Era seemed to be clingy tightly to your skin, surprising Bakugo on how you weren’t awaken by her uncut, sharp nails.

He moved to place his hand on her shoulder, his hot touch quickly waking her up with a loud “Daddy!”

You woke up very much startled by to daughter scream.

“Sweetheart what happened?” You say somehow quickly than Bakugo, turning quickly to her.

Era looked up at Bakugo, the slightest bit of relief going through her stressed mind.

“Daddy’s okay? R-right? He’s right there, he’s he’s gotta be okay?�� Her eyes flickered from you and Bakugo.

You finally noticed that Bakugo was there, and was probably the one waking her up from her nightmare.

You stood up, hold Era on your hip. You hugged Bakugo, Era’s arms wrapped around both of you.

“What the hell happened?” He whispered, toward Era just barely couldn’t hear.

“She was worried about you, Love.”

Bakugo picked her out of your arms and put her legs around his waist.

“Listen, Babes. I’m never gonna be hurt to bad in a fight. Daddy’s to strong for that!” He smirked, quickly followed with a big grin when Era giggled.

“Daddy’s too great to get hurt!” She cheered, the past tear marks now seeming meaningless to her.

“Yeah!”

Deku

You were tired as normal after the large effort of getting the twins to bed. You knew you wanted to see Deku today, and also knew that he would get home late as normal.

At least he had lots of time in the day for you and your kids.

You drank some coffee, it was merely nine o’clock and Izuku wouldn’t be home till at least one in the morning.

You layed on the couch, putting on a queit movie as to not wake the kids.

“I’m home!” Izuku called, earlier than he told you.

“Izuku? I thought you said you would be home at one? It’s only 12.” You said while walking up to him.

“I wanted to surprise you, Lovely. I may have been held back, I thought I would come home before the kids even fell asleep.” He said, putting his arms around your waist and kissing your nose.

“Your an idiot.” You snickered at his plan.

“I’m your idiot.” He laughed, raising his hand from your waist. “And your stuck with me.” He said, pointing to the ring on his finger.

You laugh at your silly husband, who somehow still had that wholesome attitude after all the trama and hurt he insured over the years of being a hero.

You both go to bed, cuddle up to each other, kissing the others warm and welcoming touch.

When I the middle of the night you hear soft but quick knocks coming from the door.

“Izuku, could… could you get it?” You ask, him already on his way to the door.

He gently opened the door, to a tired looking Fumiko and a crying Aiko. Funiko’s hand was lightly on his back, holding his trembling body in place.

“Dad, dad I had I really and nightmare. C-can I sleep with you tonight?” Aiko muttered under his breath.

Izuku looked up towards Fumiko, trying to aka what had happened.

“He woke up a few minutes ago. He had a dream, I think you died or something. I tried to comfort him but he just wanted you and p/n.” (P/n: parental name (mom, dad, etc)

“Thanks, Fumiko. Go back to bed, I’ll let Akio sleep with us tonight.” He whispered, kissing his daughters forehead before she went back to their room across the hall.

He yawned and walked back to the bed, Akio on his hip. He gently shook you back awake.

“Lovely? Akio had a nightmare.” He told you, as you turned to face him. You had a sympathetic look on your face, looking into your child’s terrifyed eyes.

You nodded and reached your arms out to hold Akio in your arms. He plopped onto you, his face just far enough to be heard while talking.

“Dad and you are gonna be safe, right? Right, p/n?” He looked up at you. You nodded and wiped away his tears.

Izuku layed back down and run his hands through Akio’s hair, something that had always comforted you during the UA days, and even now.

Akio feel asleep with in minutes, and you kept him to your chest to make sure he wouldn’t get nightmares. Not with you and Izuku protecting him.

Todorki (warning; ANGST)

He was glad, he could finally get home early for once. He decided not to tell you, similar to Izuku, wanting to surprise you and Kento.

“Dears! I’m home early!” He smiled as he walked into the classic Chinese (?) home, ready for you and Kento to jump in and hug him.

But, instead of being welcomed home with a loving bear hug, he was welcomed with two terrified glares, and and a unmatching one that was filled with heat.

Endeavor.

“Shouto, your home early.” You said, wanting to interrupt the silence.

“Dear, why in the world is this bastard here?” He said with a growl.

“I didn’t know you had a son, Shouto.” Endeavor said. His scar seemed to have healed slightly over the years, though it was clearly visible still.

“What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were gonna stay out of my life from now on.” Shouto said, still having to look up at the tall man.

“I’m just visiting. You don’t have to hold a grudge.” Endeavor shrugged and turned back to you and Kento on the couch.

“Kento, right?” He titled his head, lowering his arms.

He picked Kento up.

The man who you had been told abused his children, beat his wife, killed mercilessly, took away the love of your life’s childhood, picked up your child.

Anger immediately pumped into your veins, you quickly tearing a terrified Kento from the old mans arms.

“Get away from my son!”

“You know, I never did think you were good for Shouto.”

You better believe Shouto took care of the rest.

You crattled Kento in your arms, not wanting to let go even long after he fell asleep. You had to keep yourself from holding onto him to hard, knowing that if you held on as hard as you wanted, you would crush the poor kid.

Shouto sighed and walked back in, walking into the bedroom where you held Kento.

“Dear.” He said in the doorway. His voice was soft and familar.

“Yes, love?” You said, peaking up at him.

He walked and sat down next to you, kissing your shoulder. You almost feel the pain oozing out of him. (God I hate “ooze” so much-)

“I’m sorry, Dear. I’ll…” He sighed and put his head in his hands. “I don’t even know. He refuses to retire and the government is a total suck up for him.”

You exhale and Lena on his shoulder.

“We are never letting that happen again.” You scoff in to his sleeve.

“Yes, of course. He’s never gonna come back here, into our home.” He safely added.

“Not that. Of course I’m still never gonna let him in again. I’m never letting that bitch hold my baby ever again.” You said. He gently smiled down at you, admittedly a little glad you had such a hatred of his father.

You grunted as Kento held on tighter to your waist where he had his arms wrapped around, his face wrinkled liek he just ate something sour.

This being familar, him sharing regular nightmares like his father, you softly woke him up.

“Dear? Dear wake up, the scary man is gone. He’s never coming back.” You said as Shouto softly shook his arm, and you shakes his slightly.

“Mh… p/n, Dad… I’m scared. He came back in my head.” He whimpered, tapping his forehead.

He leaned down and pressed his face on his stomach, peaking up with sad eyes at Kendo’s face.

“I know. We all are. But that’s never gonna happen again. We’ll make sure of it.”

[veiledsilver]

Top five moments you've felt like the universe was messing with you.

Oh boy everyone get ready this is a long list. In descending order, from mildly funny looking back on it to "oh god oh shit oh fuck":

5. Catfishing: College Edition

In 6th grade, I decided to apply to colleges early to see how they were like. I was scared that if they knew I was too young, they'd arrest me. So I created a gmail account as my persona, a white 12th grader named Emilie Alexander. Emilie was planning to go into nursing, dating a high school linebacker named Kyle Kenderson, and deathly allergic to bee stings. If she even came near a bee, she would die.

This part was of the utmost importance.

See, I was constantly paranoid that one day, the jig would be up- I might forget that my fake last name was Alexander. Or the college dean might come knocking at my door and tear up my home in his mad search for Emilie. If that happened I would fake her tragic death, presumably caused by one big fucking bee.

I secretly collected my information. What nearby states were the prettiest to visit. Which colleges were the safest and most affordable. How often they held courses that I liked. In my emails with colleges I tried to sound as mature and professional as possible.

Then, one day, a college member asked me what high school I was in, so they could check my records.

My blood froze.

It was time to bring out the bee.

In response to their question, I sent an email that was like this:

"Dear Mr. McLaughlin, I was a proud graduate of- ugh! Ah! Kyaaaa! Uwaa! W-w-what's this... huge goddamn bee doing here?! Eek, pardon my foul language! It's just that, as I told you earlier, being stung by a bee would kill me.... and now it's stung me thrice (three times)!!

What do I do?! I can't die... I've always wanted to attend your beautiful college...

But this is... the end...

Mr. McLaughlin...

*looks at you sadly*

Tell... my mother... I loved her...

*dies*"

He never responded, probably because he was rendered speechless, but I never touched that account again.

My private gmail for fun stuff like tumblr still has "Alexander" as a surname, though.

4. Wild and Authentic

Alright. Alright. So. My art teacher in middle school.

Right off the bat, they endeared themselves to the tumblr art kids- they proudly used they/them pronouns, dyed their hair vibrant colors, deeply encouraged OC creation, and was chill with any art style even if it was anime. Mx. Mason was very cool, except for one thing.

We had complete artistic freedom when it came to their assignments, EXCEPT FOR ONE THING.

Drumroll, please.

Take a deep breath if you must.

Ready?

...

Cats had to have extremely distinct whisker pores.

YES, they believed that modern depictions of cats were too streamlined. Too... idealized. As a cat owner themselves, they were convinced that society's vision of cats did not do their feral feline ancestors justice. In making their faces flawlessly smooth-furred, we were stripping the cat of its true nature.

I found this out the hard way, when I was drawing warrior cats fanart for class (it was of Firestar cuddled in the arms of an orange haired anime catgirl who was his reincarnation in my first ever comic series, Warriors Neko Desu! ♡ Heart Academy Dokidoki).

Mx. Mason came over to look at my magnum opus, and I expected them to have their socks knocked off at my artistic talent. They lifted up my drawing for all to see, and I smugly leaned back in my seat.

Only for them to launch into a passionate lecture about how, in neglecting to draw whisker pores on cats, I was DENYING THIS FICTIONAL CAT OF ITS WILD AUTHENTIC SELF.

My friends absolutely lost it when I told them this story, and there was a period of time when all our discord nicknames were wild and authentic too.

As for Firestar and his counterpart Hoshineko Orenji-chan, I never did give them wild authentic whisker holes, but that's to be expected of a kittypet, I guess.

3. Stan Jungkook Or Whatever

A couple years ago, my family and I flew to Seoul, South Korea, to visit our relatives and teach me more about my heritage. It was very nice! I got to visit shrines and festivals and palaces, and I was in awe that this was what my ancestors had once seen in their daily lives.

Then, when we went to the modern side of Korea, I realized just how much I didn't fit in.

It was clear that I didn't know how to act, or how to speak Korean, and I spent my days fumbling around and getting scammed multiple times by salesmen. But I clowned myself the most... during an interactive event with kpop stars.

They had this experimental event where holograms of the boys would sing onstage and dance in place of the actual idols. Before the show began, girls could stand in booths that scanned their appearances, and holograms of THEM could dance onstage with the hologram boys.

I didn't know this.

When Cousin Ae-cha told me to step inside one of the machines, I thought I'd be hilarious and stand backwards, so it would scan the back of me instead of my front. As I walked out, I saw other girls putting on their best makeup, cutest clothes, and most expensive accessories, and I slowly realized that I was in danger.

But the danger didn't come until halfway through the concert, where the boys looked eagerly off-stage and a holy staircase appeared and all the hologram girls descended from heaven. There were cherry blossoms. There were roses. There was me, among the crowd of beautiful airbrushed girls, walking backwards.

I felt the judgemental gazes of twenty girls and their mothers.

Each boy danced with a girl, who got a cute animated moment with special effects, and sang about how they found a dream girl to have a true love romance with. Finally, all the girls vanished except one, and it was me.

One of the boys didn't dance with any girls, and now he was all alone in the rain, feeling dejected that HE did not find his true love girl to have a dream romance with. Then the rain stopped, the sun came out, and I emerged. Still backwards.

He was thrilled and sang about how my face (that he didn't see) stole his heart, and now everyone in the audience was giggling, and he slowly brought me very close to kiss me... but because I was backwards, his nose was cutely nuzzling my hair.

The audience members- at least the adults- were now laughing their asses off. His lips met the back of my head, and together we vanished into the wind.

I'd say I couldn't show my face there ever again, but I never did show my face, so... hm...

2. Horrid Little Temptress

If I wasn't a minor, I'd need a drink before starting this story. Sadly, I cannot drown my sorrows- and neither should you after you hear this, because it's only fair.

Mrs. Appleby was my Spanish teacher in like, 9th grade. Even the wild and authentic art teacher thought she was insane. Appleby forced kids to brew tea for her and yelled at them when they didn't get it right, and I thought she had a chronic squint until I realised she just did that to mock me and my Asian eye-folds. She forced us to watch Dora the Explorer to "absorb knowledge." Everyone fucking hated Mrs. Appleby.

But the worst thing she ever did... was during the school festival.

See, whenever she's angry, she zooms right into kids' faces to scream at them. Her wrinkled flesh would blot out the goddamn sun and all you see are her bloodshot yellow eyeballs so victims just stayed rooted to the spot like cornered animals or something similar. This is important.

Because when she was sampling her own brownies (read: hoarding them so no one else could eat them), one parent foolishly decided to grab one and she thought it was a student and she grabbed his wrist so hard she could've nearly snapped it and... and... zoomed into his face.

Except she underestimated his height and kissed him by accident, but it was more like her mouth was sucking in his face like a vacuum.

His wife was shrieking like an ape. His kid, my classmate, saw his social life flash before his eyes.

In her defense, she did not mouth to mouth with him on purpose and afterwards she cried in the bathroom and when I foolishly followed her in to comfort her, because I am a teacher's pet through and through, she snatched the paper towels I got for her and wailed that she was a-

A-

HORRID LITTLE TEMPTRESS.

If I had decided to not be kind, I never would've heard that string of fucking words. But I did. And I paid for it dearly. The end.

1. Violence IS The Answer, Sometimes

Thomas, my dearly detested.

Back in sixth grade, I used to have a crush on him because he had the surfer boy look with nicely tanned skin and pale blond hair and the clearest aquamarine eyes I've ever seen. He also liked surfing and swimming. He seemed like the perfect little trophy waifu except for one absolute dealbreaker.

He and his parents were extremely conservative and so, when I told him I liked him, his response was basically "haha no you're a [slur] and would probably eat my dog."

I was horrified and ran away to cry. But then, by the next day, I decided I needed to punish him. Thomas walked in before class started and I was waiting for him with these hands. I kicked him so he doubled over, slammed his face into his chair's seat, and quickly clambered on top of him to SIT ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD. He started shaking and twitching and trying to pry me off, but eventually he went limp and stopped moving.

I thought he fell asleep, but Mohammed, another classmate who was bullied by Thomas, told me that Thomas might never wake up again (not that he was very sad about this. I didn't know until later, but Thomas said slurs at him too).

While I was sitting on the guy, he'd straight up passed out from the lack of oxygen.

Screaming and crying, I told our homeroom teacher that Thomas suddenly fainted, and she was the type of Caucasian that thought all little Asian kids were sweet and innocent, so it didn't even cross her mind that? It might've been me? Who sat on his head when she walked in?

He was sent home early that day. I had to go to a different school next year because Thomas's mom threatened legal action. The only reason I didn't get punished further was because my rich cousins out-Karen'd her and donated a huge amount of money to the school to keep them quiet.

Anyway, I never did anything that insane ever again, because something like that is enough for a lifetime. My cousins made it clear they would never back me up again. I was sure this whole event would be put behind me, too.

But last fall, during my first day of online learning... who did I see in my zoom meeting... BUT THOMAS! I had my mic and camera off, but the moment he saw my name, his face went pale. His soul would've left his body, but then it would've gone to hell, so it wisely decided to stay inside.

Still, out of shame and embarrassment, I never turned my camera on for the rest of the school year.

[marril96]

The Distance Between Us

Chapter 31: Hit Me, Baby, One More Time

Pairing: Rowena x reader

Summary: A confrontation arises.

Editor: @miss-moon-guardian

*****

Everything from the time you got up and to the moment you walked into school was a blur.

It was as if you were asleep, running on habit, on instinct, rather than will. Your body wasn't yours; you were a guest, a passenger in your own skin, replaced by a ghost that walked the way you did, that talked and breathed and thought all the same as you while you hid in the farthest, loneliest corner of your mind, far away from the reality you'd come to know yesterday.

The reality you refused to acknowledge. That, as you opened your eyes this morning, you hoped had been nothing but a bad dream, knowing full well it was wishful thinking.

A half-asleep girl could still dream.

You were still dreaming when someone's arms wrapped around your shoulders and pulled you back — back into reality that shouldn't have been real, into the hallway filled with sneering and cheering kids that shouted words you couldn't hear for the noise was too deafening and you couldn't think and the only thing you wanted to do was slam your fists — your clenched, rock-tight fists — into Lucifer's smug face.

The bastard was standing right in front of you, laughing as if he'd just heard the funniest joke as Dean restrained you. Despite your attempts to free yourself, to lunge at your target, he held you in place with relative ease. The perk of being a jock.

To be fair, it probably wasn't the smartest idea to try to assault the principal's spawn first thing in the morning.

But, considering what said abomination had done, it seemed like the right thing to do.

Not good.

Certainly not smart.

But right.

Satisfying.

"Let me go!" you screamed, eyes locked on Lucifer's, narrow, threatening. Promising death and pain.

"Y/N, you don't wanna do this," Dean said.

Oh, you did. You wanted to very, very much. "You know what he did!"

"I know, but he's not worth it!"

He was more than worth it.

Crowley shared the sentiment.

The only reason you got to try to take a swing at Lucifer instead of him was that Sam and Dean had restrained him and gave him their you're better than this pep talk.

You saw your chance and took it.

Damn Dean and his ninja reflexes!

"It's cute how you're protecting your girlfriend's honor," Lucifer said condescendingly. "Or what's left of it. If anything."

"You're a piece of shit!" you snarled.

He flashed an amused smirk. Oh, how you wished to wipe it off with a well-aimed fist. "I don't get why you're all mad at me? All I did was tell the truth. It's not my fault she's a whore."

Crowley shouted something that shouldn't be repeated in polite company.

You followed suit, trying once more to break free of Dean's hold.

Rowena remained silent throughout the entire ordeal.

She'd been silent since the moment she got to school.

She ignored the whispers. Ignored the purposely loud comments and nasty remarks. Kept her head down and sought her friends, who, as expected, asked about the social media drama, but got no response other than that she was fine.

It was as good as they were going to get.

Crowley remained by her side like a guard dog. Neither of them acknowledged it, but it was clear, from the looks he was giving everyone who had as much as looked at her wrong, that he wasn't going to let anyone give her shit.

Lucifer should be glad he wasn't dead.

Sam and Dean must have been quite good at pep talks.

"You know, Catriona told me a few more things." He looked at you, then at Rowena, taking in your reactions. Feeding on them like the leech he was. "I assume Gilroy Murphy rings a bell."

Oh, hell no!

Don't go there, you thought. Don't you dare go there!

He didn't have the right.

Rowena stiffened.

Lucifer chuckled. "Yeah, she told me all about him." He looked around at the crowd of vultures, making sure he had their full attention. An attention whore was nothing without an audience. "Rowena here likes taken guys. Catriona wouldn't fuck her, so she went for her boyfriend."

Laughter echoed. Gasps, oohs, and ohs.

Your stomach twisted into a knot, a storm of unease, of discomfort roiling inside it. It was easy for them to pass judgment. Easy to laugh and whisper amongst themselves, to look at Rowena as if she were a piece of filth. Easy to dehumanize her, to make her out to be a monster rather than a person.

Not a single one of them knew the full story.

They didn't know what her life was like.

They didn't know how alone she was, how much she was suffering.

They didn't know the sweet, broken girl behind the iron mask.

Lucifer, despicable as he was, at the very least had a motive. He wanted to hurt her, to humiliate her, to make her life hell.

What was their excuse?

What had she ever done to them?

"Shut your mouth!" Rowena snapped, livid, terrified. Meg laid a hand on her shoulder; she shook it off, glare pointed at Lucifer, a threat and a plea all in one.

He grinned, much too satisfied with her reaction. "Catriona said Gilroy was very apologetic when she found out he'd been cheating. So apologetic, in fact, that he told her something very interesting. You don't mind if I share, don't you, Rowena?"

Rowena's eyes reddened, pricking with tears. Color drained from her face. "Don't," she said, voice too small, too weak. Too broken.

He wouldn't dare.

Lucifer was a bastard, but this…

Surely, he had a heart in there somewhere.

"Where's the baby, Rowena?" he asked nonchalantly, as if he were asking about the weather.

There went that idea.

You were naive for even considering it.

Expecting humanity from the likes of him was like expecting a heatwave on Antarctica.

Rowena set her jaw. Swallowed hard. Willed the tears not to fall. She turned her head away from his smug face. Away from eyes landing on her and demanding explanations. Away from judgment and stares.

"What in hell are you talking about?" Crowley demanded.

"Oh, you don't know? Big sis didn't tell you?" Lucifer taunted. "Catriona's boyfriend knocked her up."

Crowley scoffed. "You're off your rocker."

"Am I? Tell him, Rowena. Tell all of us. You know I'm not lying."

"It's none of your fucking business!" you snapped. It was nobody's business but Rowena's.

Lucifer held up his hands. "Hey, I'm just talking."

"You're being a shithead!"

The insult didn't faze him. "Aren't you curious about your girlfriend's offspring? You don't wanna be a mommy at this age, do you?"

"That's our business."

He looked at you. Took your expression, your body language in, lapping up every bit of it. "You know. She told you."

"What is he talking about?" Crowley asked.

"Nothing," you replied. "Like I said, it's our business."

Rowena's body.

Rowena's choice.

Your life.

"Still, a baby's a pretty big deal," Lucifer said. "Where is it?" Mouth widening, tongue sharpening, he asked, "Was it even born?"

"Holy shit!" a voice in the crowd exclaimed. Familiar. Olivette, because of course it was her. "She killed it! She totally killed it!"

"Did you do it? Did you kill your baby, Rowena?"

"Stop it, Lucifer!" Castiel spoke up. "You're going too far."

Lucifer shot him an amused stare. "You're cool with hanging out with a baby killer, little brother?"

"I said stop it!"

"Or what? You'll tell dad?" He laughed. "You can't do anything to me, Castiel."

"Do you get off on this?" you asked. "Does being an ass make you hard?" Your eyes fell to his crotch. "Or are you acting like a giant prick to compensate for your small one? You sound quite repressed. Didn't get any in a while, did you? Rubbing one out might be good for you."

The comment elicited a few laughs.

"I got plenty," he said proudly. "How about you? She spread her legs for you like she does for everyone else? Or is she keeping you on a tight leash?"

"Oh, honey, leashes are the best part."

"Why don't I believe you?"

Because you're an asshole, you thought.

And also because you were lying.

But mostly because he was an asshole.

"I don't care what you believe."

You meant it from the bottom of your heart. Who was he to think his opinion meant something? That it mattered to anyone other than him?

You loved Rowena as she was, with all her flaws and history. She wasn't a bad person. She'd made mistakes, yes, but who hadn't? She was a human being; flawed, imperfect. A person like any other.

Her only sins were being desperate to have friends, falling in love with one boy, and trying to love another, worse one.

If anyone should be judged, it was them.

"Why bring it up, then?" Lucifer asked.

"Why not?" you countered because, really, why not? "You started it." You might as well finish it.

"Who started what?" Ms. Hanscum demanded, her heavy shoes clicking as she walked up from behind you.

Shit.

"We're just talking," Lucifer said, feigning innocence. Badly. Worse than a first grader in a school play.

She didn't buy it. "Uh huh. How about you continue your 'talk' after school?"

"I'd love to, but I don't think Y/N is down with it. She attacked me."

You grit your teeth.

Really?

Really?

Ms. Hanscum raised an eyebrow, skeptical. "She attacked you?"

"Yeah. She's crazy."

"You're so full of shit!" you snapped, and Dean, once again, had to hold you back.

You didn't care about the teacher, or the audience, or anyone. You wanted to bash his head in, the consequences be damned.

Lucifer spread his arms out. "See what I mean?"

"Okay, okay, let's all come down," Ms. Hanscum said, looking back and forth from him to you.

I'm perfectly calm, you thought. So calm that Dean released you (though that may have had to do with the teacher's questioning stare). You rubbed your arms, massaged your muscles with the tips of your fingers.

If you wanted, you could charge right at Lucifer. No one would be able to stop you this time.

But you didn't want to.

Because you were calm, and you were in control. And, also, Ms. Hanscum kept looking at you as if she expected you to do something, so, the rebel you were, you strived to prove her otherwise.

But, god, you were tempted.

"He's spreading lies about Rowena." You couldn't hurt him physically, so you went for verbal assault.

"I'm just letting everyone know what she's really like," Lucifer defended.

Bullshit. "You're spreading rumors to get back at her for dumping you."

"I'm warning people about her."

"You're jealous!"

"Of what? You? Please. You're delusional!"

"Okay!" Ms. Hanscum shouted, breaking off the argument. "You're leaving me no other choice. Principal's office, now! Both of you. We'll see if we can sort it out there."

"Are you bloody serious?" Rowena exclaimed, furious to the bone. "She hasn't done anything!"

"Why don't you join us, too?" the teacher said. It wasn't a suggestion.

Great.

This was fucking great.

Lucifer organized what was pretty much a hate campaign against Rowena, and she and you were the ones that got in trouble.

Fucking great!

You should have punched him when you had the chance. You were going to get in trouble anyway; why not go big rather than just go home?

As the bell for the start of class began, you, Rowena, and Lucifer followed after Ms. Hanscum. You and Rowena walked on one side, hand in hand, glares sharp and threatening death. He, from the other side, was smiling like a kid on a Christmas morning.

The smug snake.

Would daddy protect him again?

Or would he punish — really punish — his little boy for the first time in his life?

*****

Tags: @werewolfbarbie @oswinthestrange @songofthecagedmoose @apurdyfulmind @getthesalt-sam @metallihca @salembitchtrials @jay-eris @hellsmother @elizabeth-effie @shadowgirl-vsb @rowenaswife @wonderifshelikesroses @xfireandsin @liddell-alien @hotdiggitydammit @lae-lae @darkhumorsblog @angel7376 @cherrypierowena @ruthieconnells @evil-regal-vampiress @collectorofsecretsandsouls @angel-e-v-a @a-queen-and-her-throne @carryon-doctor-lock

[monotonemanday]

Star Crossed Entertainers - Part 4

Y’all ready for some back story? Also ANGSTFEST. I wrote this part several different times, several different ways and hooooo boy, it was a trip. In order to set everything in place so we can get back to some gorgeous musical actors and hot ass business men, this part is pretty damn lengthy. Also Surprise. Someone else is joining this series. :)

TRIGGER WARNING: It honestly isn’t a whole lot but there is abusive language and mention of sexual assault and attempted rape. 

Soft sunlight was peaking into the lounge through the sheer black curtains as Samantha made her way to the entry way of the apartment where her and Kaeli piled their shoes that they wore the most. She was already showered and dressed. She was wearing full length black leggings that had a leather panel on the outer sides from the waist band to the ankle, a blush colored tank top and a black bomber jacket that had a salmon and cream colored floral pattern. She grabbed her boots and sat on the step that connected the entryway to the lounge. First the left, then the right. She slipped the black boots up to her knees and began to lace them up. A long process. Once she had the bows double knotted she stood up and decided she would open the curtains at the far window. On her way to the window she noticed that Kaeli had fallen asleep on the couch. She must have been worried last night and fell asleep without putting herself to bed. Samantha grabbed the throw blanket off the back of the couch and went to lay it on Kaeli when she stopped and let out a sigh. Kaeli was using one of her t-shirts as a nightgown again. Butt head. Laying the blanket down on the sleeping beauty, Sam made her way to the kitchen where she sat on the cushions in the bay window. Her favorite spot. Her legs stretched out in front of her, crossed at the ankles, she stared looking out the window, watching the sunrise out over the city, then looking back at her roommate. No. Her best friend. And she thought about everything that had led up to this very morning.

They had been friends since they were 5 years old. Best friends. On the very first day of school they were drawn to each other. None of the other kids were too keen on being with them because one was the size of a toddler and the other was the size of a 5th grader. There difference in size brought them together but it turns out they had the same sense of humor and outgoing personalities. Kismet. All of the other jerks kids hadn’t wanted to be their friends but once the two were together they became a dynamic duo. The two were the same but also couldn’t be more of polar opposites. They were both outgoing and well liked. They weren’t popular or wealthy but they knew everyone and everyone knew them. Kaeli wasn’t very studious but she was very active in the student body. Events, festivals, dances, she was apart of it all. Samantha was in every performing arts class there was. Marching band, jazz band. wind ensemble. She was involved in choir, musical theatre, and  drama with Kaeli as well. She played 5 different instruments. She never thought she would spend her school days like that but it was just so natural to her once she started. She was like an entertainment machine and also held perfect grades.

Kaeli reached her maximum height of 4 feet 11 inches her freshman year of high school. She was adorable and no one could resist her colorful laugh and big dimples when she smiled. Despite her being as cute as a button she was a huge flirt. It radiated from within her. It was like a disease. Usually she was unaware she was even flirting and it got her into trouble. By senior year she had won the titles of Homecoming Queen, Winterfest Queen, and Prom Queen. She didn’t necessarily dress overly feminine but she was always in pink, pastels, and soft patterns. Her family wasn’t necessarily wealthy but she lived very comfortably. It was just her parents, herself and a couple of dogs. She didn’t have any extended family. Her mother came from a family of wealth and power but her father did not. Neither sides of the two families were accepting of the other and disowned the couple, therefore denying Kaeli’s existence entirely when she was born. That’s why when her parents died in a plane crash senior year she was taken in by Samantha who had been on her own for awhile. Kaeli had a huge heart and she used it far more often than her brain. She was too trusting and opened up too easily. This led to her often being taken advantage of in friendships and even to some abusive relationships. But she always had Sammy.

Samantha was 6 feet tall by her junior year of high school and she still had growing pains. Slow down Shaq. She was intimidating but she had beautiful eyes and she was so expressive and goofy, people were drawn to her. Everyone knew her as outspoken and sarcastic but she also had an undeniable warmth that made people feel like they could open up to her about anything and everything. Gross. By senior year she had directed 4 plays, starred in 6 musicals and even put together a sketch comedy show that the school made apart of their homecoming celebration each year. She dressed in lots of muted colors. Olive, tan, navy, maroon, mustard. She had developed a very fashion forward style her sophomore year. Up until then she had dressed like an absolute tomboy. Usually skinny jeans, converse and a t-shirt, or overalls and baseball hats. She didn’t have much money and she worked at a bakery for income. Samantha didn’t have a family. She never knew her parents and she only had a sister who was 20 years older than her. When she was about 8 her sister had started a family and Sam felt like a burden so she had runaway. She was fending for herself until someone had taken her in. Someone not much older than her, but who had already mastered the art of living without a family. At 17 when she started working at the bakery the elderly couple who owned the business let her rent out an apartment upstairs and when Kaeli lost her parents the elderly couple gladly accommodated Sam getting a roommate. Samantha was loved by many and although she was never cold, she didn’t like people. She did not trust others and never let anyone in. That’s how she was raised. No one knew that she didn’t want people too close and she never held a relationship. She was constantly dumping guys for trying to get too close to her. The only person she ever let in was Kaeli.

Kaeli begin to stir in her sleep and Samantha looked her way. 

“Kay?” The small blonde shot up.

“...damn. My neck hurts. You’re up already? And you’re dressed?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna go visit my old babysitter.” Both girls chuckle.

“You shouldn’t call him that Sammy. He basically made you who you are today. Plus, he actually is a babysitter now.” The blonde laughed even harder.

Samantha shot off a text message and stood up from her seat at the window. grabbing her keys off the kitchen island counter she glides over to the closet by the entry way and pulls out a sparkly silver helmet.

“Hey, no way! You’re not taking your bike! If I can’t ride one, you can’t drive one.”

Sam tucked the helmet under her left armpit and reached for the doorknob, looking behind her she met Kaeli’s yelling with a steady tone. “And you did ride one. So after this we’ll be even.”

“HOW DID YOU KNOW?!”

“Lee texted me when you left the theatre.” And with that she was out the door.

BBBZZZZTTT BBZZZZZTTT ~ 2 texts and now someone was calling but he couldn’t hear the phone over the vacuum. His ponytail rapidly swinging back and forth trying to keep up with how fast he was moving. Suddenly there was extremely loud banging on the door. He turned off the hoover and reached around to his back where his taser was tucked into his pants.

“OPEN THE DOOR DICKHEAD!”

The man looked through the doors peep hole and swung it open rapidly. 

“I swear one day I’m actually going to tase your obnoxious ass. Get in here. Geez...who raised you?”

“Uhhhmmm, that would be you.” The tall brass haired brat walked into the house and flopped down on the couch propping her feet up on the coffee table.

The man knocked her feet off with a swift slap.

“Get your dirty boots off my clean surfaces.”

“Easy Vanhelsing. There isn’t a spec of dust in this place.”

You could see the man growing more irritable. “I’m not a vampire. That’s not my name. And it’s not about mess, it’s about manners.”

Vanderwood. The man was a grade A bad ass with a passion for Fabreeze and Lysol wipes.

“If you came here just to be a brat, you could have waited until Christmas.”

Vanderwood waited for a snarky response from the woman but he was met with her looking defeated.

“Samantha, what is it.” His tone turned exponentially serious.

“I just came to ask you one thing. If Kaeli and I need to get out of here in the near future...would you be able to help me with that?”

Vanderwood. He joined the agency when he was 16. Tired of dealing with his family and no one recognizing he was superior to them in everyway, he signed a contract of employment with them. He was 2 years in. Now about 18 and progressing fast within the ranks of the agency. One day he was doing some recon on some local thugs when he heard a commotion in a near by alleyway. He saw 3 adult men, cornering a girl. The girl wasn’t small but she could only have been in elementary school. He figured he should intervene when he started to hear smacks, and punches. Cries of pain, but what the bloody hell? The screams were coming from the dudes. Who is this 8 year old and how is she kicking the asses of these GROWN men! With the dumbasses subdued he spoke to the girl. He learned that she was on her own and she was actually the one that picked a fight with them. He didn’t know why he did it and to this day he still doesn’t know what compelled him but he offered to take her under his wing. And for whatever reason, which he also didn’t understand, this little girl trusted him, and accepted. He became her guardian and he was honestly excited to have a "mini me”. He had bought her clothes and taught her the basics of living. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, cleaning, fighting, cleaning, manners, cleaning, studying, CLEANING. He didn’t know how a little girl was supposed to dress, he had never been one. So she usually went to school in overalls, sneakers, and a backwards baseball cap with her hair in two loose braids. She usually was covered in band aids and 90% of the time one was on her face. This girl was a fighter but she was clumsy as hell. She was constantly getting cuts and bruises due to her own carelessness but according to Vanderwood, pain didn’t exist. He was constantly telling her to ignore others because hurt feelings didn’t really matter, and not to trust anyone because you never know who could be after you. Falling down and being clumsy or getting hurt were no excuse to show weakness. Every time he helped her put a band aid on he would say things like “Never let boys see you bleed.” or “Never show someone how deep a cut is!” He didn’t know that all this strength and fight he was trying to implant in her was going to lead her into brandishing her own vigilante justice. She was constantly getting in fights outside of school. Trying to beat up bullies or even trying to go after muggers. He had to have a stern talk with her about what was morally right and wrong for a little girl and why her rules were different than his, being a trained assassin, big boy. He was glad she had Kaeli to balance her out and calm her down.

By the time the smart ass brat Samantha was a senior in high school she had gone from constantly trying to kick everyone’s ass on the streets, to simply just knowing how to defend herself and Vanderwood was actually glad that she was leading a pretty normal life. When she was 17 he let her fly away from his mama bird nest and get her own job and apartment. Good. It would keep her away from his line of work. That was until after she graduated. Kaeli was planning on moving away for a performing college program and Samantha came to Vanderwood with a request. She was planning on cutting all ties with Kaeli while she was gone and asked Vanderwood to get her training with the agency. No. He didn’t want that kind of life for this girl he had known to be so bright, and talented. Fun loving and carefree. Sure he had accidentally made it so that she didn’t trust people and didn’t form close relationships out of concern for others safety. And she was incredibly skilled and intelligent. The agency could really use someone like her but he just didn’t want that for her. A life of solitude. She was stubborn and determined so he agreed to get her training, but with two conditions. It would only be for a year and she would only take the training courses that he picked and she had to keep in contact with Kaeli. Her best friend.

Samantha had started her year of training before the official application process to get into the same agency that Vandy had joined when he was 16. Due to Vanderwoods terms of her training she was in contact with Kaeli while she was away for her college program. But Samantha still intended to disappear with the agency once the year was over. It’s not that she didn’t want to be around Kaeli anymore, it’s that she didn’t want Kaeli being around her. She believed that she was destined to be alone and not deserving of having normal relationships. Her parents never wanted her, her sister didn’t want her, and until she had met Kaeli and Vanderwood, people had only ever seen her as a threat. She was dangerous. But she didn’t realize it until a week before they graduated high school.

Reagan. He was popular, good looking, wealthy, obnoxious, a real douche. Samantha didn’t like his attitude or how he treated people. So she was extra irritated when Kaeli started dating him. It wasn’t long into their relationship that Samantha knew he wasn't a good person. He quickly became obsessed, possessive and controlling. Kaeli brushed it off. Classic Kaeli. She had let herself be treated like this before and it always took Samantha to snap her out of it, but this time she couldn’t be snapped. Samantha didn’t know it but Kaeli was afraid of Reagan. He had became abusive but she tried her hardest to hide it from Sam. She didn’t want to admit she was in over her head and she was afraid of what Sam might do. One day Kaeli was taking off her sweater and her shirt had lifted up. That’s when Samantha saw bruising all over her torso.

“He’s fucking dead.”

“Sammy please, no. Don’t do anything rash and get yourself in trouble. He’s coming over tonight and I’m going to break it off with him. That way I’ll have a clean break after we graduate and I can move with no strings attached.”

Samantha was seeing red, she didn’t have any words and knew that she wasn’t going to be able to have a rational conversation so she went downstairs to the bakery and started her shift. A couple hours past and as she was closing up the bakery Sam was greeted by Reagan. He looked at her and made no attempt to say hello. He went right upstairs to the apartment. Samantha went back to locking up. 5 minutes later she heard shouting and something had slammed onto the floor. Her mind went blank and her eyes dazed over, it was like she blacked out. Her body was possessed. She ran upstairs as fast as her legs would take her and threw open every door with excessive force. The shouting had stopped and she couldn’t see anyone in the immediate area. That’s when she heard crying. Soft sobbing from Kaelis room and then...grunting. She ran to the bedroom door and tried the handle but it was locked. Rapidly jiggling the handle she slapped the door with an open palm again and again.

“OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR!”

“FUCK YOU!”

“SAM HELP ME!”

Smack. “Shut the fuck up.” The slap echoed throughout the entire apartment.

The adrenaline took over her whole body and Samantha stepped back and then lunged her right shoulder at the door, breaking the lock and pushing it open. Reagan was on top of Kaeli and his pants were around his ankles. Samantha grabbed him by his hair and threw him against the wall. His skull made a loud smacking noise and his eyes glazed over. He slid down the wall, and she grabbed his shirt in her fist and began beating his face with the outer part of her closed fist. Kaeli was crying and screaming. Sam didn’t stop until she realized blood was being splattered across her face. She would have could have killed him. She wiped her forehead, unintentionally smearing blood across it. She turned around. The fear in Kaeli’s eyes. It was because of Reagan but Samantha thought it was because of her. She wrapped a blanket around Kaeli and walked her downstairs. She called Vanderwood who came and cleaned up the mess and got medical attention for the boy. The next day they all acted like it never happened. And that is why she wanted away from Kaeli. What kind of a life was that? She was dangerous.

The year of training went by fast. Samantha had gone through all the courses Vanderwood specified she had to take. Tactical, physical training, espionage, seduction, driving, stealth, and combat. Part of training was doing recon and infiltration of low level crime rings. All candidates were informed that not only the agency but other employers would also be keeping an eye on them. She had made her way into several small mafia branches and mob conglomerates. They mainly used her for shake downs and collections. A lady thug for hire. Beating money and secrets out of desperate scumbags. It was also easy enough making deals without having to beat them to a pulp since a lot of the time the goons were too busy looking her up and down, licking there lips like they were about to scarf down a 3 course meal. At the end of her year she had gone back home and was planning on saying her goodbyes to Kaeli.

The night she planned to say goodbye to Kaeli and submit her official application to the agency they had gone to karaoke. It had been forever since they performed together. They ended up taking over the whole bar, it was no longer karaoke it was a two woman variety show and people were loving it. She was having a blast with her best friend but the entire time she couldn’t help but feel like eyes were on them. Eyes that she couldn’t see. Vanderwood? No these eyes were definitely menacing.

They left the bar and started walking. Trying to sober up a bit. They were laughing and it was just like their carefree days of high school. The sound of metal hit Samantha’s ears and before she could react someone had grabbed her pinning her arms to her back.

“KAELI RUN!”

“GRAB HER, ASSHOLES!”

That voice. It was fucking Reagan.

Samantha whipped her head back as fast as she could and made contact. Her arms were released and she quickly made her way to the two men that were holding on to Kaeli, ripping at her clothes. Sam’s fist flew through the air. Shit. Something had cracked. Her hand or his jaw, one of them was broken. Kaeli shook herself loose and began running to get help when a limo had pulled up and blocked them in. Samantha was throwing punches and dodging them at an incredible rate, she was roundhousing their asses and Kaeli couldn’t believe what she was witnessing. The limo door opened and Sam lost her focused and turned to see who was stepping out of it. That’s when Reagan landed a sold punch right into her stomach. Her body jolted and blood came out of her mouth, then a hand connected with her face. “Fucking freak. Stupid Bitch always in my FUCKING way.” Samantha was on her knees, blood pouring out of a cut above her brow. 

“That’s enough Reagan!” A round stocky woman had stepped out of the limo. “I asked you to retrieve the girls but you decided you were going to do whatever you wanted. I’m sure the boss would love hearing that you damaged his new merchandise” the air was silent and extremely bitter tasting. “Now, ladies, if you would.” The woman gestured to inside of the limo.

“NO WAY!” Kaeli screamed, incredibly defiant. “Do it, Kaeli.” Samantha’s voice was soft but it was firm. The two girls climbed in the limo. Sam knew who this woman was and who she was employed by. Stuff she had learned doing the undercover work for training.

The girls rode in silence and they were let out at a night club. The lights were blinding outside. They were following the round woman with her huge bodyguards on the outside of them. No words were being exchanged. 

“If you'll excuse me for a moment.” The woman broke the silence and walked away. One of the guards gestured for Kaeli to take a seat and the other gestured towards a door off to their left, a bathroom for Sam to clean up in. Splashing water onto her face and trying to scrub the blood off her hands she heard a bit of shouting outside. She turned off the water and wiped her hands with paper towels and opened the door. She looked around. They weren’t in the regular part of the club. They were in a members only VIP area. She didn’t see Kaeli. She panicked. She was running up to everyone asking them if they had seen a tiny blonde woman when finally one man pointed into a room in the back and told her that a couple of men had gone in the room with her. She pounced at the door like a cheetah and kicked it open. She didn’t care what was happening, She just started swinging. There was crashing and yelling, and guests were starting to get concerned. The round woman appeared in the doorway and cleared her throat. The body guards she was with pulled Sam off of the men in the room. “The employer would like to speak to you privately.” Kaeli and Sam both began to follow the woman when she raised her hand. “Just the amazon.” Rude.

“Fine, but she stays with your guards. And Reagan and his ugly ass two bit thugs leave. Now. Or I will kill them.” Her eyes were like hot coals. Sam was serious.

Samantha sat in the lush leather chair and stared at the rich cherry wood desk in front of her. the man sitting at the desk had his tall chair turned around and didn’t even attempt to face her. Sam had her guard up and was on high alert but the man started speaking and got right to brass tax.

“Vanderwood raised a firecracker I see. Intelligent, talented, strong, and a body. All those curves and me with no brakes.” Are you serious right now? “I’ve gone ahead and submitted an application to the agency on your behalf. I also put in a submission for denial to the agency and a request that the application for consideration of employment go to me. So don’t think running to the agency will get you out of this. I was going to make you both my very special VIP package for our best clients. However you have come in here and caused a disturbance. Vandwerwood raised a fighter but he didn’t raise a lady. If you want to act like a brute than you will be one. You will now be my hired gun and your little pixie out there will be my most esteemed call girl. You will be rewarded with very sizable salaries and club privileges. Now get out.”

“No.” Samantha’s voice didn’t waver. Not even for a split second.

“No is not an option, you are now my employee and due to how close you are with that girl she will and already does know too much. So you both are indebted to me. You by contractual obligation and her by threat. If you try to leave , you will both be killed.”

“I’ll do both.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’ll be your hired gun and a call girl. She stays away from any part of what goes on with the clients in this club.”

The man was silent. Still facing away from Sam. “Madam, bring her something to type up her terms with.”

20 minutes later and Sam had signed a contract. And all her terms and stipulations were met.

Samantha and Kaeli would be trained in high society, upper class, and etiquette. They would both be available for dates , dinners, and events with the top tier of the elites. Sam would  be awarded business classes and Kaeli would learn Public relations. After a certain amount of time was put in with Kaeli working events and handling all PR and media for the club or scandles for the club and the employer, she wouldn’t have to go on dates anymore. Sam would be a lady goon, and a jazz singer/performer for the club and she would spend nights with clients. Normally most girls would have the choice on whether or not they wanted to sleep with clients but he had told Sam that there would be no exceptions with her. She would bring in top clients and top dollar. She would have opportunity to progress and climb up the ranks.

The madam was impressed with Sam’s sense of business and her courage to try and sacrifice all of her freedom for Kaeli to get away. The madam agreed to help Sam lie to the employer about her sleeping with clients.

Kaeli had worked off her debt and now only had to work PR and media for the club, and Sam had worked her way from all thug duties and had become the clubs “Sparkling Diamond” and a business partner. They made incredibly good money but they kept it to themselves. As far as everyone else was concerned, Kaeli and Samantha were just two strugglers. A struggling actor and a struggling screenwriter/stage manager. The only little slice of a normal life that they had.

“Sam, SAM!”

Vanderwood’s booming voice snapped her out of her thoughts.

“Sorry. Look, it’s nothing too serious right now I just, I got reckless and I may have messed up with he boss.”

“Don’t piss off your employer is one of the first rules I had ever taught you. What on earth would make you jeopardize what you have?”

“I don’t know Van! I was with the C&R director working a party being held in his honor and he is nothing like the chairman and I just thought maybe I could do things my own way. A way that works better and runs smoother and I just...”

“Oh, Sam...don’t tell me. You like the walking ATM.”

“No. I don’t.” She was extremely annoyed by Vanderwoods assumption. She knew better than that.

“No. I respect him as a business man and he has a very kind and insightful soul.”

Sam smirked she knew exactly how to mess with Van.

“And I mean I don’t know...I guess he’s just so...damn...seeexxxxyyy.”

“Stop.”

“I swear he makes my knees weak.”

“Gross.”

“He touched me and I swear my legs started to tremble, What I wouldn't’ give to see his big throb-”

“YOU DON’T TALK LIKE THAT IN FRONT OF ME.”

“Easy, Van. Holster your taser. Listen I just came over to make sure that if something does happen, you have my back.”

“Always.”

The two shared a quick side hug and Samantha made her leave. She had a lot to think about. Good think she took her bike. She was going to zip through the freeways at high speeds to clear her mind.

[rachelfizzyhizzy]

Field Trip: part 1

Summary: on a bus ride for a field trip, richie your boyfriend accidentally gets a boner

Warnings: making out, grinding, swearing, (non penetration)

A/n: please don’t give me hate for this. I know that Finn is only 15 but I am 14 which is only 1 year difference so I don’t think it’s wrong.

This takes place current day

The big trip finally came. Everyone had been waiting all year for a chance to hang out with their friends with no parents for two days. The buses were already lined up at the high-school when everyone was starting to arrive at 6:30. I jumped out of car eager to see Richie. My dad stepped out of the drivers side to help me with my hefty suitcase. I took them from him hugged him goodbye, then walked briskly towards the groups of 9th graders. As i got closer i scanned the crowd for my friends when i spotted Richie and Bill standing with their bags talking.

“Hey rich.” “Hey y/n?” Richie said kissing my cheek. “Hey bill.” bill nodded in back. “I’m so excited!” I said smiling. “Me too. Two days without parents,” Richie said winking at me . I rolled my eyes and he wrapped his arm over shoulder “oh You know you love me.” My heart skipped a beat at his words, even though i knew he was only kidding. “Uh-huh. Sure” i responded sarcastically.

“Get a room you two,” teased Eddie, walking up to join in with Beverly on his right. I laughed and Richie glared at him. “I think it’s cute,” Beverly added smiling at us. “Thanks Bev,” I said back and returning the smile. Eddie spoke up again. “Just don’t do anything on my bed if you sneak into our room, okay?” I rolled you eyes at him playfully. “Sure thing Eddie”

“Everybody, quiet down! Listen! “ the five of us turned to face Ms.powers who was standing on a bench. “If you are in Mr.Williams’ class, go over and stand in front of bus 48!” She was yelling and pointing over to the yellow bus farthest left. “That’s us.” Eddie nudged Richie with his elbow. “Yea okay,” he replied. Richie grabbed my face with both hands and kissed my forehead like he always did. “I’ll text you on the bus,okay?” I nodded at him and they left, leaving me, Bill, and Beverly.

It wasn’t long after that Ms.Powers started yelling again. “Any one in ms.Kinley’s class, stand in front of bus 16!” “that’s me.” Bev told us. She grabbed her suitcase by the handle and started to walk away. She turned back around, still walking and shouted “Bye y/n! Bye bill!” We waved back and I shouted “Bye Bev!”

Me and Bill were never particularly close so we just stood there waiting for our buses o be called. Bill eventually left and went to bus 36, so I stood out on the sidewalk alone, waiting for further instruction.

“Ms.Garcia’s class! We’re going to divide you into four groups! Line up into groups of 7!” I joined a group of kids I didn’t know and waited. Ms.Powers walked around making sure all the groups were even. When they finally were, she went to each group and assigned a bus. “Go to bus 48,” She ordered group. It took me a minute to register that is was Richie’s bus.

I walked with my group over to the bus lugging my suitcase behind me. I handed it off to a man loading them. I climbed up the steep steps and looked around for Eddie and Richie. I moved down the aisle slowly, searching each bench for a Richie or Eddie. I finally spotted Richies dark curls peeking up from behind the worn seat.

“Richie!” I exclaimed. “Y/n! What are you doing here?” He said looking up and smiling at me from his seat. “I guess I’m on your bus.” “That’s great,” Richie said. He started looking back and forth between me and Eddie who was sitting there looking forward, refusing to acknowledge that he was going to have to move. “Eddie...” Rich started. “No.” Eddie stated bluntly, not making eye contact. “I will pick you up and move you myself if i have to” Rich told him. I chuckled at the thought if it. “Fine!” Eddie said violently picking up his backpack. “But I’m only moving because I want to move,” He said pointing his finger at Richie. Me and Richie smiled at him and laughed a little at him being over dramatic. He was trying to keep a straight face to show his annoyance, but it only made his lips quiver as he tried to contain his smile. I watched him sulk over to Pam, a pretty blonde girl sitting alone. I had a feeling he wouldn’t be complaining anymore.

I sat down beside richie, taking the the place where Eddie Just was. He grabbed my hand with his large one and squeezed it and i squeezed his back. Still holding his hand, I laid my head on his shoulder preparing for the long ride ahead.

(Forward 1 hour)

An hour had passed since the bus started out. There would be 4 more hours before we reached our destination. I had talked with Richie and the people around me, giving occasional glances back to Eddie, who was laughing with Pam. I decided to take a nap to try and pass time since there was plenty left.

Richie was leaned up against the window so i curled up on the large bus seat and laid my arms on his lap, crossing them and placing my head on top. It only took me around 10 minutes to fall asleep since i had woken up so early. Even though I had fallen asleep, it was very light like i was half asleep and half awake.

While I was asleep i tossed and turned unconsciously as i always. I had only been 30 minutes Into my nap when i felt something hard against my arm. I assumed it was just his leg or his arm and paid no attention to it until i heard heavy breathing and a small moan when i shifted again. My brain started racing and my eyes shot open. I looked around without moving. My eyes fell on Richie fist which he was squeezing tight, his knuckles turning even more pale than they usually were. My heart started to beating faster When I looked up to see rich with his eyes shut tightly and his head pressing into the back of the seat. At first I was panicking but slowly i calmed down seeing the opportunity in the situation.

I closed my eyes again and wiggled more in his lap, earning a small whimper from him. My right hand, which was tucked under my head, slowly back to down to my right side. I made sure that it grazed his boner on its way. This full out made him moan. I looked up at him again out of the corner of my eye to see that he was biting his lip now. My body began to feel warmer.

I started doing more now. I turned from my stomach to my back, stretching out my arms, eliciting a few Moans. When I lifted my arms I felt a small breeze on my exposed stomach where my shirt has lifted up, exposing it to Rich. Even though, my yawning and stretching had to have made him aware that I was somewhat conscious, the mix of me moving my body against his hard-on, and my stomach, and the sounds I was purposefully making, caused his cock to twitch underneath my back. It took me back and I flinched. My eyes opened completely and looking back at me was rich.

“Y/n, how long have you been awake” “I -I just woke up” i said in the most innocent voice I could muster. “Really?” Richie looked down at me suspiciously. “Yea. Why do you ask?” “Oh,oh it’s nothing.” “Okay.” I said, stifling back laughter. I shifted again trying to turn away from him and he moaned. He saw the smug smile plastered on my face. “You’re totally lying” he said playfully shoving me in his lap causing him to whimper again “nope, nope. Shouldn’t have done that.” I burst out laughing, sitting up into the space beside Richie. “How long have you been awake? “He asked lightly shoving me again. “I don’t know?” You giggled. “Like 5 minutes.” “fuck you.” He joked. “So how long has-“ i used my hand to motion in his general pants area. “-that been going on” “I don’t know. Since right after you fell asleep. You know you move a lot in your sleep.“ “Yea I know” i couldn’t stop smiling. “Sorry about that” “it’s fine I just-“ he closed his eyes and rested his head back on the seat “-need to make it go away” “you know what?” “What?” He said turning his head to face you. “You should think about butts. And boobs. And sex. Lots of it. That should really calm you down” “hey hey hey! This is no time for jokes. This is your fault” he pointed down at the large bulge in his pants. “So what are you gonna do?” I asked him. “You made it appear! Make it disappear!” He said. “What? What am I supposed to do?” I furrowed my brow in confusion. He used his hand to sort of gesture and shrug his shoulders. My eyes widened when I finally caught on. I slapped his shoulder. I whispered In his ear so no one could hear “I am not doing that on a school bus!” “Mmmm my god. Keep doing that.”

I leaned back and glared at him. “Here. Close your eyes and think of something that turns you off. What does that for you?” He swallowed hard. “I don’t know” He raised his eyebrow at me. “Well you either have to do that or wait until lunch where you can take care of it.” “How long is it until lunch?” He asked. I took out my phone and checked the time on it. “Like 30 minutes.” You answered. “I lasted 30 minutes with you bouncing all in my lap I can last 30 more minutes.”

(30 minutes later)

“Okay everyone. When we get off, you need to stay with your buddy.” Mr.Williams started listing off rules and safety precautions when the bus came to a stop in front of multiple fast food restaurants. “Now, everyone has their money?” I looked over at richie to see how he was holding up. His eyes were closed again, his head against the window. “And most importantly, Stay Safe! Now everyone on this side, can get off.” Mr.williams motioned to his left side, where Richie and I were sitting.

You grabbed richie’s shoulder. “Richie. We’re at the restaurants.” Richie looked up and out his window before groaning, “finally!” I grabbed his hand and led him down the aisle. For some reason the person in front of me stopped abruptly causing me to also stop, causing richie to run into me, making him groan. “Sorry” i apologized through gritted teeth. I looked back at him to see him attempting to pull his shirt down over his crotch.

We were finally off the bus and we walked over to the sidewalk. “Where do you want to eat?” I asked him. “I don’t care. Just need to be somewhere. Now” he mustered out. I nodded with sympathetic eyes. After all I did cause him to get hard. I quickly took him into the subway. We found out way to the family restroom.

I opened the door and pushed him inside. I walked in after and closed, then locked the door. Before I could turn the lights on, richie was rubbing himself lightly through his jeans. You marched up to him and jerked his hands away, pulling him into a deep kiss. One of my hands went to the back of his neck, pulling him deeper into the kiss. The other was lost in his dark curls, every now and then, pulling, causing him to moan into my mouth. He grabbed me by my waist and pushed me against the wall. He planted kisses all down my neck, sucking softly. “Richie“ I let my hands roam on his arms and his back and down his stomach. When I got to his lower stomach, I felt him jerk up into me, causing me to gasp. He started grinding into me, making me moan. I pushed him off of me tugging at his shirt and started to pull it off. He knocked my hands away slipping it off quickly. He did the same with my shirt, pulling it over my head, exposing my breasts and bra. He grabbed one of my breast and rubbed at the nipple through the fabric. I let my head fall back and he kissed down my neck again, biting at my collar bone. I felt him grind into me again. He started playing with the waist band of my pants. He looked at me, asking me for permission when he slid them down my legs and I kicked them off along with my shoes.

His hand roamed down to under my ass saying into my ear “jump.” I jumped up and he caught me, putting his hands under my thighs. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he started grinding harder. He pressed me into the cold wall. I knew he was about to come when He started getting sloppier, his hold on my legs tighter. I found his ear through his thick curls. “Richie, come” I cooed. He thrust into me one more time before gripping my legs tight, his head in the crook of my neck to muffle his sounds. He stood still for a second riding his orgasm through. Then he kissed my neck a few more times before setting me back down on my wobbly legs.

I got dressed and went out of the bathroom, searching the faces of the workers to see if any of them heard.

A few minutes later Richie came out with a wet spot on the front of his jeans. He saw me looking at it. “Better than a boner right?” He asked jokingly. “Yea I guess” I joked back.

He came up closer to me, putting his lips close to my ear. “We should do that again sometime” I looked up at him and motioned for him to lean down a little so I could whisper in his ear. “That was just because I felt bad that I gave you a boner for an hour” before blowing on his ear. He shuddered. I backed away and eyed him, turning around and leaving the restaurant.

[pbandjesse]

My stomach hurts all of a sudden. Which is not fun. I'm going to go have some juice and hopefully it helps.

Today was great though. I had such a good group and I actually got a ton of stuff don't when I got home. I feel really happy.

James says I was dead asleep this morning. Which is true. They also said I was very cute which I can not substantiate.

When I woke up for real I made the bed and got dressed and fell okay. I was very tired at first but I was able to shake it off pretty quickly. Driving out to camp was fine. I was a little bored with my music and I didn't really want to listen to a podcast. I ended up putting on something just to try to weak myself up. I had made vegetarian sausage to bring with me just because it was quick and I had packed mac and cheese again for lunch because I enjoyed it so much yesterday.

And honestly today was an easier day but this group did not know how to be on time. They missed the intro and the first program again. Which means they were almost 45 minutes late. In the end we didn't start until 11:00 when they should have been there at 9:45. And it was just very frustrating especially since it was the second time they had been there. With the same teacher. And the poor bus drivers went in a different entrance so he didn't know where he was and they had to go all the way up to the lodge and then back all the way up to come back down to the hacienda where we were starting the day. And Elizabeth saw when the bus driver apparently screamed at the teacher for messing up. Just absolutely chewed him out.

But then being late give us lots of time to talk and sort things out and make sure everything was ready for the day. Nobody had to be stressed about anything. Until we realized how late they were and then I was stressed because I was trying to make sure that everything was going to run smoothly. So I decided that everyone, meaning our staff, would stand outside of the hacienda with their animal staff and then I would direct all of the children to just go up drop their lunches off and then find the animal group that they're supposed to be in. Because thankfully the teacher who was in charge wrote them on sticky notes and stuck them to all the children. So that worked great. It did take a minute to come off the bus because they were trying to call them out by group and I was like that's not necessary though just find their adult it's fine. I want to get them rolling in their programs.

And we did and it was great. I hate that they all missed a program but I really think they enjoyed everything that they did get to do and I really have a better vibe of how I can better explain teaching this program to adults that do it in the future. And honestly I know me and James have already filmed this one but I think I have a better plan for filming it later. I think I want to redo the way that that program is going to be.

I really had a good time with the kids today though. Wasn't as warm today and while there were still a lot of bees the kids didn't freak out in the way that some of the teachers acted like they were going to. And the third graders yesterday told me that the fourth graders were so crazy and they were basically the most calm children I have ever experienced. I had a great time. They were great kids they were funny and while they didn't answer a lot of questions you could tell they were engaged. There was only one child at the very end of the day who had some issues with I think rage and kept snapping at the other kids to the point where I told him if he couldn't come down he had to go sit outside and chill if he couldn't regulate. And he did and he calmed down and everything was fine.

And honestly we had a lot of time to just chill outside as well which was cool. The kids liked playing in the leaves and helping fix up my fort that's next to the art building. It was a really beautiful day.

At lunch I sat on the porch on the ground and enjoyed my food. I had brought the entire container of peanut butter because I didn't want to put in a container that was smaller. And the afternoon would go really smoothly. No children got lost like yesterday. And it was a good time. Apparently one kid did get stung by a bee but they were okay after a nice pack. Scary though. Always is.

At the end of the day we got everyone on the bus after that pop quiz I tried to do yesterday that went so well. And it was fun today too. I need to work on having a better set of questions but I'm very happy with what I've done so far. And then it was time to clean up.

Dechelle said that she would drive the gator with Sarah to collect everything and put it away. Which was appreciated so much. Cuz that is my least favorite part of this program. And because both of them and Celia worked together they were able to do it in like less than 20 minutes. Rather than the full hour it takes me. And me and Nick stayed up at the hacienda to put all the chairs away and clean all the tables. And once he got called back to the office to work on some other stuff Celia came and help me sweep and put all the tables away. Joe came up as well and it was really nice to see him. He asked about James which was very nice of him and we talked for a little bit about some ongoing projects that they're doing on site. Including fixing the porch cover thing that is kind of rotten. I don't know what kind of wood they use because that building is not that old so I'm surprised that it's that rotten but they bought new material and hopefully that will be done before the summer.

after we finish cleaning up the pool house I went down to the office to drop off my walkie and Heather drove past and told me that Elizabeth wants me to sort out some stuff for the mewee projects next week. And so I walked up there and Nick was saying he was going to York building and I was like why don't I just do that instead so we went inside and Elizabeth told me to go divide some bowls and take some to the Dodge house. I've never actually been in the Dodge house before. Everything I've heard is that it's haunted. It's apparently where they used to have meals but after seeing it today on the inside I don't understand how. It's very small in there. It's a good building though. I don't know why we don't use it for more things because it seems like a great little space. Maybe it has a structural issue I don't know about but it's a nice little place.

And I would get all the bowls up there in a bag and then said goodbye to Heather as she walked past from the barn. And then I headed out. My goal was to go to whole foods.

That is exactly what I did. I ran into a little traffic but mostly it was a solid drive to get there and I hate that parking lot but I found a spot off to the side. And I got the pasta salad I wanted and I got a fun juice and some cookies and the milk that James asked me for. I also got a spicy hummus because James was making waffle for dinner. I had a very funny conversation with a woman at the deli counter and the woman at the deli counter because I wanted a pasta salad that is very heavy on olives but I wanted no olives. And she said normally it's the opposite direction where people want all the olives and I was like well I don't want to pay for something I'm not going to eat. And they all thought it was funny that my reasoning was that it tastes like too salty but in a gross way. Like eating the ocean. But I got everything I wanted. To know I have some good lunches. I spent too much money. And I struggled to put the box together that you had to put the cookies in. But everything was fine and I was ready to go home.

When I got back here I needed some dedicated couch time. I just wanted to lay there and play my phone game and then James was home and they made us falafel. But while they were making the falafel the doorbell rang. And I knew what was happening.

There's a homeless man that rings our doorbell sometimes and we've helped him before and he's usually very nice but he just doesn't seem to understand the boundaries that he's violating by ringing our doorbell. And I want to help everyone. But I don't have the money to do that. I can't save everyone. And while we have helped him before when we could every time he wants more and more and apparently Kim has helped him before and Nick. But we heard from a neighbor that they have a restraining order against him because when they sold him no once he pushed her and she was pregnant and it was very scary. And James is not as good as saying no as I am. So when James did not come up for multiple minutes I knew that that's what was going on.

So I went down and I put my arm in front of James and I pulled them inside and I said you have food on the stove, because they did they left hot oil on the stove from the falafel, and I talked to this man. And I told him I understand that you are struggling. Apparently he has an apartment right now and he just needs $20 and it'll be the last time. But that's what he says every time. And I told him I really want the best for him and I hope that things get easier for him but we cannot help him. We don't have the money to help him. And he just kept saying anything $10 and I'm like no. You have to understand this boundary. And I'm very sorry. And I told him I work multiple jobs to try to keep me and James afloat. But I can't save him. And he just turned around as I was saying that and walked away. And I hate that I had to do that. That I had to tell him no but there's a difference between me offering help to someone and someone continuously coming to the safe place that our home should be and asking over and over again.

So both of us felt a little uneasy after that interaction. And I wanted to enjoy my dinner. James made us falafel and they made mine into a salad which was really good but my stomach hurt a little bit. And it's kind of continued that way for the rest of the night.

But I gave myself until 6:00 to get out of this weird funk I felt. I knew that mostly I was just sent tired. But there was things that needed to get done that have not been getting done. I have my commission I still need to work on but today was not the day. Today I would organize and clean the apartment.

Not a regular clean. Tomorrow I will do the regular wiping down and vacuuming. Today I had to put stuff away. Because everything felt bad. Felt messy. I spent about two and a half hours refolding all of the blankets and putting the extras away. I went through part of the studio and put things away. I pulled out everything that needs to go to camp next week. I went through James's plant shelf and I moved around all the plants outside to try to make them a little bit more secure while still getting enough sunlight. And I just organized that shelf so it's not so messy. Then I cleaned in the living room for a bit and then the bathroom. And just tried to put things away so that it didn't feel so overwhelming to me. And it helped a lot. Made me feel a lot better. There's still a lot that I could do. There's a lot of stuff that I'm sure I could get rid of if I really thought about it but I'm happy with what I accomplished.

After that I ate a cookie. It was great. And then I took a very long bubble bath. That's the nice thing about it being warm again the water doesn't get cold as quickly and I can actually fill the entire tub up with hot water. And I enjoyed my bath and watched videos and eventually would get out and used my nice nighttime lotion and I finally laid in bed.

And that's where I am now. James left to go work at the theater a little before I got off the couch. They thought that they would be home in the next hour. I hope that is true and that they don't have to be there too late because they still have to work in the morning. I on the other hand get to sleep in and have a nice calm morning. Cuz while I am going to teach a workshop in the afternoon I have plenty of time before that. I have to go down to Edgewater which I've never been before. To a different white camp that I've never been to before. And I'm very much looking forward to it. I'm teaching a embroidery class to the teens and hopefully they enjoy it. Fingers crossed.

And I'm hoping that once I'm done there and I come home I can start laying out Rosie is embroidery and getting her sample made so that we can decide where we're going next. I think I'm going to set up a hoop with a similar fabric and just make the stitches on that and then show it to her before I do it on her real one because I'm very worried about messing up that fabric. Because if she hates it I don't want her to have to deal with whatever nonsense I put on it.

I hope you guys all have a really good night tonight. And you sleep well. it's supposed to rain but I hope it's a beautiful rain. And I hope that you have a great day tomorrow. Sleep well and be safe.