#also calling it ODS makes me look old (I am)

[n7viper]

I am so so sick of people criticizing warframe and its monetization only to be hit with “yeah but you can get everything except certain cosmetics in the game for free!! you just have to grind for it”

yes, it’s true! you’re absolutely correct. but the way that rng works in the game and the drop chances they’ve set are absolutely disgusting. I have been playing off and on for over NINE years. I have 2600+ hours in the game. I have never ONCE gotten hate or despair, but I’m fucking drowning in dread and molten impact or whatever stupid fucking mod he drops. they both have a less than THREE PERCENT chance to drop from a random encounter enemy if you've done second dream (so... most everyone). and it's only a FIVE percent chance if you haven't/his target hasn't. how is that fair?

abysmal drop rates don’t keep me engaged, they leave me feeling defeated. there is nothing I can do to remedy drop chances like that. there's no skill that I can master that will help me improve. I can't keep practicing with a certain weapon to improve. I'm at the mercy of a cruel rng system that doesn't cut you any slack.

I remember looking at voruna's drop chances on the wiki after that update and saw that all of her piece bps are in rot c of some new survival node. why would i bother? I only got og octavia from prime — otherwise, I couldn’t get the last piece of her to drop from ods.

also I think the prime access pack pricing is aggressive and horrible, among other things. I hate some of the packs that you can buy in the market (fucking MOD packs and their ilk; are you kidding me??) that DE just doesn’t do much about despite community backlash. I’ve gotten suspended once for buying prime access from a cheap 3rd party and I’d fucking do it again.

sorry, I know DE are the little uwu devs that everyone loves, but I just cannot with them. the game is what it is, and it’s incredibly meaningful to me. I met a lot of wonderful people and 3 of the absolute best friends that i could ask for. it has hands down THE most amazing movement/parkour system that I have never seen matched in any other game. I love the melee weapons and stances (tonbo gang) so so much. but I think people don’t call them out on their bullshit enough. people only care to get mad when they nerf things (which yeah, deserved, but ugh)

this post has no point except that I saw yet another post where someone said warframe was "two steps up from a gacha in terms of monetization, since at least you know what you're getting when you spend way too much money on this free game" and there were lots of comments in the reblogs like "ACKSHUALLY it's not gacha, you can get everything free" and after nine years I'm fucking tired of that argument.

[wangxianficrecs]

💙 Between the Lines by Witch_Nova221

💙 Between The Lines

by Witch_Nova221 (@witchnova221)

M, 153k, Wangxian

Summary: As Wei Wuxian walks a lonely road, he writes frequently to Lan Wangji in Cloud Recesses, unable to receive a reply as he moves from place to place. When fate forces him to remain in place for longer than anticipated, his friend is finally able to reply. With a page and distance between them, words come easier and slowly they come to an understanding of their feelings for each other. When Lan Wangji receives an unexpected letter from Wei Wuxian's hosts though, his hopes of a future for the pair of them is shattered. Refusing to give up, Lan Wangji makes a journey and learns to read between the lines of the story he has been told. Kay's comments: This story. THIS STORY. I was reading it when it first came and out and I have found myself re-reading it frequently, because I like to hurt myself. No worries, there's a happy ending, but... BUT! There's going to be a part in this story where you won't believe that a happy end is truly coming, but it is coming, I promise. It follows The Untamed canon, with Lan Wangji becoming Chief Cultivator and Wei Wuxian travelling and then they start exchanging letters and they confess~ Very sweet, if it wasn't for the heavy angst (which I also love and live for.) And also, impecable found family vibes in this one <3 It starts with as an epistolary but not the entire story is written as an exchange of letters. Excerpt: I do hope you will find time to send a line or two, even if it is just to let me know that you are all well. I keep you all in my thoughts and in my prayers if I ever do pass a shrine that calls to me. Think of your old friend won’t you. I think of you often. As always, I hope you are safe and well and happy. Oh and I shall fathom another guess, as I do every letter, of the title of your song. Today I think it works along the lines of 'ode to a ridiculous boy who is daft enough to get half chewed upon by an ancient tortoise'. Am I close yet? Will you tell me if I have already guessed it in my other letters? I look forward to knowing when I finally get it right. Faithfully yours Wei Wuxian

pov alternating, post-canon, post-the untamed, the untamed compliant, chief cultivator lan wangji, epistolary, letters, love letters, developing relationship, eventual romance, getting together, love confessions, long-distance relationship, families of choice, angst, hurt/comfort, heavy angst, lan wangji/wei wuxian get a happy ending, heavy angst, cultivation sect politics, podfic available

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[stevesbipanic]

so I was thinking about what if eddie is friends with robin before she meets steve. Eddie knows that robin is a lesbian and robin knows he is gay, so they start fake dating to keep people shut (mainly robin's parents). But then steve starts working at scoops ahoy, and when he becomes friends with robin, he also meet eddie, and he feels so guilty and confused for feeling attracted to his friend's bf

I hope this mess make some sense

I can totally see them being friends already. Eddie was for sure a band kid before he quit since it wasn't his kind of music. Plus we know he's a drama kid since that's where the list said he might be and he clearly had access to drama props just look at his throne. Anyway here is an idea of how the rest of your ask could go.

-------------------------------------------------------

Steve felt like shit.

He finally had a friend his age that wasn't an asshole and was actually a good person and he was fucking it up like he fucks up everything. Robin was great, she was funny and didn't take shit from him. Conversations felt easy with her and for a moment he thought he might get a crush on her until, "Who was that you were talking to?"

"Eddie? He's my boyfriend," the answer seemed simple but felt off somehow but Steve brushed it off crushing any embers of a crush on Robin. "Oh cool, you should introduce us next time, how am I supposed to be your work boyfriend if I'm not friends with your real boyfriend." Robin had laughed at that.

Soon Eddie was coming over a lot, cracking jokes with Robin and he got over his distaste for the old King Steve when he was given the Robin Buckley seal of approval. Steve had warmed at that, felt that he was actually improving as a person if Robin and Eddie could see he had changed. Eddie would even visit when it was just Steve on shift, bringing tapes to educate Steve on real music or to steal free samples and cool air away from the summer heat.

Soon though it had all come crashing down. Eddie had started using nicknames for Steve but he had called him sweetheart the last time he visited and Steve had blushed. It had started a spiral for Steve, he didn't understand his emotions and feelings, questioning if he still liked girls, if he'd ever liked girls. But worst of all he felt like he was betraying his new best friend by crushing on her boyfriend. Robin and Eddie deserved their happiness and didn't deserve Steve ruining anything. He hadn't had the chance to talk to Robin about it, to confess his shitty friendness to her before it happened.

Before the Upside Down happened.

Now Steve, sitting in a mall bathroom, bloody and blue, felt so much guilt. Guilt for his feelings for Eddie, guilt that he might never see him again, guilt that he was lying to Robin, guilt that Robin had been dragged into this. Maybe that's why he had practically volunteered himself to be tortured over her. He could keep her safe and if he died she could get out and be happy with Eddie.

Maybe that's why he told her, too much guilt and no filter left.

"You OD over there, Harrington?"

"I'm sorry, Robbie."

"What's wrong, Steve, we're ok, we're going to be ok."

"No, no, I'm sorry you're even in this mess."

"Hey, the kid's right, you die I die ok. You're my best friend, Steve."

"I'm a shit friend, Robs, you deserve better."

"You're not shit, Steve, you saved me."

"Should've died down there, Dad says all us queers should be dead anyway, maybe he's right, you deserve better than me."

Robin was quiet. The bathroom was dead quiet.

Eventually, although it felt like an eternity, Robin pulled herself under the stalls to Steve.

"Steve? Look at me."

Steve slowly looked up at her, ready to hear everything she had to say about how he was disgusting and that he should've died.

"Eddie isn't my boyfriend." That's not what he was expecting to hear.

"W-What?"

"Eddie isn't my boyfriend. He just says he is so that no-one knows that I like girls, only girls."

"Holy shit."

"Holy shit. So no, I'm very glad you're alive, and I'm very glad you're my best friend ok. You die, I die."

Steve started crying now, quiet sobs pulled out from inside him as he fell forward into Robin, holding her tight.

"I don't know what I am, I think I still like girls, I liked Nancy, but, but, there's this guy I really really like, Robbie, and I don't know what that makes me."

"It makes you, Steve, and that's perfectly ok, we'll figure out what you are later. I think the guy you like likes you too, so let's make sure we get out of here to see him again yeah?"

Robin had a knowing smirk and Steve had never felt more seen. He fucked his head blushing again.

Through the blur of the blood and the screams and the glass shattering, Robin and Steve didn't seperate, didn't even seperate when they were sitting in the back of an ambulance as Steve got his head checked out.

"Robin! Steve!"

They both looked up as they heard their names frantically screamed. The paramedic gave them the all clear and let them out, they looked around to see who was calling them. Strong arms crashed into them pulling them towards their body.

"Fuck you're ok."

"Eddie? What're you doing here?"

"What am I doing here! Robin the mall is on fire it's all over the fucking news and I knew you two were on shift since I was coming over later and fuck I thought you were dead, the shop's phone wouldn't pick up and I just, I—"

"We're ok, Ed's. We're ok."

Eddie carefully ran his fingers over Steve's bruised face, the fear still clear in his eyes.

"I can't lose you guys, I can't lose you, Stevie."

"Wowww Eddie not too worried about you girlfriend?" Robin said smirking again.

Eddie's eyes widened, "I um I mean of course I was much more worried about you, babe."

"EW never say that again, don't worry, Eddie, he knows."

"He knows?"

"Mhm turns out dingus here has another thing in common with us."

"Oh."

If Eddie held Steve's hand all the way home, that was between them and Robin, just as it should be.

[absolutebl]

This Week In BL - Korea is coming after your office romance crown, Japan

March 2023 Wk 3

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Bed Friend (Sat YT, GaGa & iQIYI uncut) ep 6 of 10 - (sorry, yes I knew they extended it to 10, and I don’t think it’s a good sign) I thought the kink moment was kinda cute, and it illustrates the best thing about f-buddy relationships, license to play and explore. Also language play! (You know phi/nong is also for pets, right?) Poor Uea never gets to keep a grain of happiness very long - so now he’s pushing it away and self isolating. Sigh, I do hope there is happiness for a few eps at the end of all this trauma. 

Future (Thai Sun YouTube & Gaga) ep 1 of 5 - Based on a y-novel by Faddest (En of Love) about an engineering student and a dentist. Expect this one to stay soft, it’s from the 21 Day Theory people. I LOVE it. Bad sound and wooden acting but this is a classic old school Thai pulp. Older shy (but delightfully manipulative) sweetie dentist Ana with crush on younger sappy sunshine jock engineering student, Fuse. Very much a puppy/cat pairing. I admit, knowing all the various characters’ back stories means everything makes more sense. The friends’ conversations make me laugh a lot, but this is a very talkie show, with not awesome subs, so certainly not for everyone. I’ve already rewatched the first ep 3x. 

Pastsenger (Thai Weds Gaga) 3 of 12 eps - I enjoy that its the tsundere uke developing feelings first. Unusual approach. I also like that fake dating is being deployed to protect the girl from a stalker. It’s silly but I’m starting to like this show more. 

A Boss and a Babe (Fri YouTube) ep 4 of 12 - Honestly, the boss character isn’t really that tsundere. He’s basically a big old softy. Also baby boy very jelly. I would be too. Ex is v hot. But we keep being told things about these 2 characters but not shown said things on screen. Like the writers think they are telling one story but what we are watching is completely different. It’s... odd.

Tin Tam Jai (Tues Gaga & iQIYI) ep 4 of 12 - Aw, P’Park has an emotional support uke. OMG they brought the flirty faen fatal crumb back! YES. I love him. 

The Promise (Thai Weds YT) ep 4 of 10 - Good advice about secrets. It better come out and it better be a good reason... like witness protection. I am starting to get annoyed and feel manipulated the more they drag it out. But from the preview it seems like next week brings the PAIN. I have never been more ready. 

Chains of Heart (Sat iQIYI) ep 6 of 10 -  Will I ever understand this show? I hate that such good acting and chemistry is squandered on such an incomprehensible script. Is the “Korean doctor thread” a set up for Lue actually being Din (dead lover) with a new face? Because I suspected that at the beginning but if that’s the big twist in this narrative it’s a super clumsy twist. I hope they don’t. I’d rather it’s that Din turned himself into Ken - creepy, but less predictable. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Our Dating Sim (Korea Thurs Viki) eps 5-6 of 8 - Miracles of miracles: The kissing is even good in this one! Aw, baby wants to be courted. The redial phone call flirt had me flappy-handing and cackling. How are they THIS cute? It hurts my heart, two nerds in love. Also being linguistically outed at work is my new favorite trope ever. I rewatched these 2 eps an embarrassing number of times. (Warning, it looks like we got us a classic 1yr Kdrama separation coming down the line. PLEASE subvert this trope ODS. PLEASE.) 

All the Liquors (Korea Thurs Gaga & Viki) eps 7-8 fin - I guess I just don’t get over-dramatic angst about silly things. The premise of this show seems to be overreaction to some stuff, under-reaction (more typical KBL) to everything else. So not allergic but an alcoholic grandma who drank herself to death? Cute confession and kiss. They are so shy and sweet with each other. For a Korean drama this had a great ending which elevated it a lot over the many other KBLs of this type (Tasty, Sweet, Ocean, etc..) 

Final thoughts: A pretty classic foodie set KBL that managed to distinguish itself from others in this category by having a particularly satisfying final episode centered around found family. Sunshine sweetie soju rep gets involved with a shy introverted chef who doesn’t drink. Has a somewhat uneven plot, but If you are looking for a restaurant BL with Korea’s signature softness, then this is a great option. FYI I may identify with our baby party boy hedonist more than any other BL lead ever presented. 8/10 

I present actual footage of P’ABL whispering in your shell-like about what you should watch next... 

Unintentional Love Story (Korea Thurs iQIYI) 3-4 of 10 - (here’s how I am getting it) ALL THE TROPES these 2 eps. Cohabitation! Pretty house! Flirting. Ooo evil agent ex? White towel sponge bath doesn’t get deployed by Korea very often. Other thoughts: Why does the ceramicist’s car look like a hearse? How is Gongchan SO CUTE? Boyfriends-to-be eating together is great. So many self-worth issues in this one no wonder @heretherebedork​ loves it. (This is an unexpectedly long series, too. 10 eps and each one is over 30 min. That’s crazy for a KBL = Light on Me territory.) 

A Shoulder to Cry On (Korea Tues Viki & Gaga) eps 3-4 of 7 - this sort of emotional and mental manipulation (from narrative and characters) meets bully romance isn’t my thing. (And should be left up to Japan if it must exist at all IMHO.) Ultra cringe, humiliation, and emotional torture for everyone! (What is this, fan fic?) Result: therapy is needed for everyone, including me, who continues to have trust issues with this show. 

Jack o’Frost (Japan Fri GaGa) ep 6 fin - delayed until next week 

It’s Airing But ...

Love Syndrome (Thai Sat WeTV) stopped at ep 2 of 12 - I’m just not into any aspect of it (except Lee Long Shi and I can watch him in Tin Tem Jai) - saving to binge if the end is solid.

Blue Sky Complex (Japan ???) 5 eps for VR - adaptation of Kei Ichikawa's manga started Feb 27 on 360 Channel (SHOCHIKUch) a VR distribution service. Will inter-fans ever get to see this, and if it’s filmed for VR will it adapt without being overly dark and fuzzy? I have questions. But as usual, you do you Japan and we will wait (im)patiently to see if you remember the rest of the world exists. This is my preferred kind of live action yaoi, so fingers crossed.

Boyband (Thai) ep 2 of 10 - Stopped airing on YouTube, and only available in Thailand & Japan. Not sure if they’re working a distribution deal or just fucking with us.

Cafe In Love (Thai ???) 10 eps on Ch3+ - Thai pulp, about trying to save a coffee shop. FairyGodBLer came through for me, but I’m collecting to binge just in case. It’s my new policy with the grey stuff.

Destiny Seeker (Tues WeTV Thailand) 10 eps - it’s not on any WeTV I can get ahold of. Bad Buddy the pulp rebirth meets Japanese handsome host club action. Same as above.

Make a Wish (Thai Weds ?) from WaGa Creative staring Fluke Natouch (OhmFluke UWMA etc...) & Judo (The Miracle Of Teddy Bear) in a medical-fantasy. It seems to be a light-hearted romance with a comedic flair. About a doctor who sees ghosts and a deity who resides in a Bodhi tree that earns merits whenever he fulfills a wish based on a y-novel by Sammon (Manner of Death, Triage). Too hard to find. 

In other news

I finished watching Why You... Y Me (hold over from last year). It’s basically Puppy Honey + a band + excessive fujoshi, so NOT my jam, but the main BL side is nicely handled love triangle, if that’s your thing. There is a tiny gem of a story (buried in amongst the rest of this nonsense) about friendship, support, love, and owning your identity. But BL is very much the secondary plot here and the main plot is AWFUL so I can’t give it more than 5/10. Still it’s all on YT if you wanna give it a try. 

I also finished The End Of The World, With You AKA Bokura no Micro na Shuumatsu. (Speaking of Japan psychologically bullying us.) Conclusion? It’s not BL (no BL tropes used, a sub-genre is defined by its tropes, BL is a sub-genre of gay romance). It’s a quirky road trip found family gay drama/romance. It’s fine if you like this kinda artsy tortured character thing. I don’t. But it’s well done high heat from Japan so... 6/10 I guess?

Next Week Looks Like This:

The Eighth Sense starts weds Viki, I’m thinking this is KBL doing JBL style again, so no promises on an HEA for this one. It’s giving me. His (the series) feels. But it could be more in the Blueming vein. Remains to be seen. 

Full list of upcoming in March 2023 is here.

2023 forthcoming BL master post. (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

This Week’s Adventure in Captions

Actually, Fuse said meeha which is usually translated as wifey (there are other slang words for bottom). Fuse is trying to establish a sexual and romantic dynamic where he plays “the male role” and he is doing this with Ana for several reasons: 1. Ana made the first move. 2 Ana is older. 

This is definitely one of those were the captions are OK but old-fashioned, it helps to know the common used terms and parlance. They are ALSO never saying boyfriend, they are always saying faen (gender neutral). 

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

I really liked this phrasing (Boss & Babe). 

Double date!

The cuteness, it burns us. How is Gongchan a 2nd gen idol, nearly 30, and still the ultimate macknae? Inquiring minds would like his immortality pill, please and thank you. (Unintentional Love Story) 

Another gay cactus baby! (Why did tumblr lose its mind over this? Here’s the BL meme primer) 

I love it when a show calls out it’s own tropes. 

I also love it when a show accurately reviews itself. 

All from Our Dating Sim. 

(last week)

Current Kpop earworm? Okay so Ireah on Peak Time did a bitty cover of Bad Love by Hynn and now I’m obsessed with it. I like her original a lot but I really want him to drop a full cover of it someday. 

[curiositydooropened]

I’m thinking of giving up. Or starting over.

I’m sitting in the parking lot at work before my shift. There’s a broken bottle on the pavement, shards sparkling in dim sunlight. The pond across from me is often fraught with birds. I’ve delighted in watching the little fledglings grow. The heard of goslings look less like dinosaurs now and more like real geese.

I love my job. I love the people I work with, old women who don’t give a shit about anything that doesn’t serve them but also who care more than anyone else I’ve ever worked with.

But it’s not full-time and it’s not a career. I’d consider it more a paid hobby, paid social hours, paid yard time.

No it’s not a career because for the past 7 years, I’ve told myself I’m going to be a writer. I’m going to be the next Stephen King. I think I’d like to write horror novels.

7 years is a long time to make promises to yourself that you can’t keep.

About five days ago, on an emotional phone call with my mother from this very parking spot, watching the ducks abandon their roost, she asked me why I don’t just quit. Just give up. If it’s making me that miserable.

Thing is, I never thought it was misery until she pointed it out. And she’s absolutely right. I am miserable.

Writing doesn’t feel how it used to. I couldn’t wait to sit and get my words in. I couldn’t think of anything but my stories, plotting and planning and daydreaming about what would happen next. Would they find the ghost? Would they hunt the monster? Would the groupie OD before he could save her? On and on and on, my mind was overloaded with images and ideas and enthusiasm.

And now I feel like a shell of that person.

I feel stuck. Stuck in my life, stuck in this apartment, stuck in this body that doesn’t function like a normal person’s body. I feel like I’m stuck grasping for things that aren’t working and maybe never will, but I can’t possibly concede with that because they used to. My body used to work. My brain used to work. My writing used to bring me joy.

I just don’t know what to do anymore.

Do I give up? Do I give up on my dreams? On this thing I’ve identified with for so many years? Do I just give up the hope and the joy it once brought me? Do I hide all of those amazing characters from the world? The ones that never got to see the light of day because I’m too worried they aren’t perfect.

That thought actually makes me want to cry. Because my characters are perfect. They don’t deserve to be shoved into a closet because of some arbitrary standards I set up to put myself down. That’s not fair to them.

I want to share them. They want to be shared.

But I’m so scared of being in this place again.

I just want to write.

I fully just want to start all over again. I want the light and love of 7 years ago, when I wrote fiction because I needed a creative outlet and because I missed doing it. I don’t want to do it for anyone else. I want to do it for me, that me, the me filled with love and light and joy and freedom. Freedom to do what she wants with her time. I miss her.

[villainsblog97]

Xdinary Heroes with your younger family members

Summary: how would our 6 heroes interact with your younger family members, ie; brothers, sisters, niece, nephew, or cousins

Warning: none (there's kids in the room)

Scenario: fluff, comedy, romance, boyfriend au

Gun-il 👾

You have only been dating Gun-il for a few weeks

But you were introducing him to your parents

He fit in quite well and your parents loved him

Your mom was still in the kitchen finishing dinner

That's when you got a visitor

Your little brother who was all about 5 years old came up to you

He tapped your arm and whispered in your ear

You smiled and nodded and said you would ask him the question your brother asked you

You looked over at Gun-il and asked him if he would be willing to go out and play with your little brother

Gunil smiled and nodded as he walked outside

You followed behind

Your brother was quick to taking a liking to your boyfriend

Gun-il played tag with your brother until he was out of breath

Your brother came over again and hugged his leg

He laughed and picked him up and spun him around the yard

Making him laugh again

You smiled watching him play and laugh with your little brother

Until you were both told it was time for dinner

"I want Gun-il to sit by me!! Your brother jumped up and down

Guess he's made a new friend!

Jungsu 👾

This would be the first time Jungsu was meeting your sister

She was 7 years old and your best friend

She was also excited to meet your boyfriend

You'd told her so much about him

Jungsu decided to take her to the park

He had a whole day set up for you guys

The park, then he wanted to take you guys out for lunch and then get some ice cream

To say Jungsu fell in love with your little sister was an understatement

He thought she was the cutest thing on earth

She also liked him as well

He played with her so much at the park

You two took turns pushing her on the swings

Jungsu held her on his lap as they went down the slide

He also held onto her and helped her cross the monkey bars

It was at lunch that your sister popped a question to the keyboardist

"Jungsu... are you my brother now?"

Jungsu choked on his drink

Kids they say the funniest things

Gaon 👾

"Jagiya are you sure he'll like me?"

"He's 4 Jiseok he likes rocks and junk food, it's not like he's gonna interrogate you"

Jiseok was joining you in attending your nephew's 4th birthday party

He held your hand as you rang the door bell

Your older brother opening the door

You both walked inside and set your present on the table

In came your nephew, calling your name and jumping into your arms

You smiled and hugged your little nephew as he looked over at your boyfriend

"Who is he?" He whispered shyly

"That's my boyfriend" you whispered back

He held out his hand to him

"Pleasure to meet you little man!" He smiled

It didn't take long for your nephew to be practically glued to Jiseok

He even sat in his lap while he opened his presents

Your brother and sister in law smiled at how attached he was to Jiseok

You smiled too

After the party was over, you helped clean up while Jiseok sat on the couch reading your nephew the new book you got him

Jiseok was using different voices for the characters as he read the book

Making your nephew laugh

It wasn't long before Jiseok came over to you

Holding your nephew who had fallen asleep on his shoulder

Ode 👾

Seungmin was excited to be meeting more of your family

It was a Christmas party at your aunt and uncle's house

This was the first time you'd be introducing your boyfriend to them

The house was filled with lots of voices

But everyone loved Seungmin

Including all your little cousins

"Are you (Y/N)'s boyfriend??" One asked

He laughed a little and nodded

"Yes I am" he smiled

You weren't sure how

But eventually Seungmin was dragged into the play room with your cousins

He kneeled down to their levels and began playing along with whatever they were playing

You found Seungmin sitting at a small table holding a piece of paper that said menu on it

You couldn't help but laugh

"Jagiya... this is a 7 star restaurant" he smiled

"I didn't know restaurants could have that many stars!" You laughed as you sat by him

Your cousins were playing like they were chefs and Seungmin was their customer

You decided to play along too

Happy to see your boyfriend getting along so well with your family

Junhan 👾

You had agreed to babysit your cousin

He was about 5 almost 6

Hyeongjun wanted to hang out with you

But you told him you were babysitting

He still wanted to see you

So he agreed to help you babysit

When he got there

Your cousin started off shy

But the more he was around him and played games with him

The more he started getting comfortable around Hyeongjun

It made you happy to see him interact with your cousin

He even brought his guitar over and played some songs for him

"Wha! You're good Hyung!" He smiled!

Hyeongjun laughed a little

He wasn't used to being called Hyung

Since he was the 2nd youngest member of his band

He showed your cousin how to play too

Even if his arms were too short to go around the guitar

Jooyeon 👾

Jooyeon was really excited

He was finally going to meet your 3 year old niece in person

He'd seen her many times on face time

She was already calling him "Uncle Jooyeon"

But you and Jooyeon were taking your first trip together

To see your sister

Jooyeon loved your niece

And your niece loved Jooyeon

When you two finally arrived

You were so happy to see everyone

Your niece ran right passed you

And jumped into Jooyeon's arms

He laughed and picked her up and hugged her tightly

You looked a little offended

That was only Your niece

But Jooyeon gave her a little present

It was a stuffed wolf

You decided to help your sister in the kitchen make dinner

When you went into your niece's play room

There was your boyfriend

With little bows in his hair

"Jagiya... would you like to join us for tea?"

[common-grackle]

hello i am here to tell you about my best friend alice dyer magnusprotocol .

so she is working at thje oiar office of incident assessment and response which is like. magnus institute part two. or something. she has this ex boyfreind called samama khalid (i love him <3) and thjey are also besties and she got him the job at the oiar and in the 1st episode she shows him how to do things adn shes so silly abiut it shes likw . hold on let me screenshot thje fucking. the transed cript

dont look at my tabs .

anywya colin is the it guy and hes so babygirl literally,, this isnt abt him though its about alice

alice shows sam the gay people on the windows 95 ALSO SHE NAMED EVERYTHING WHICH. FUCK YEAH I DO YHIS like the system thjey use on the old ass computers. it doestn have a name but also his name is freddie . because fr3-d1 . and she also named thje voices that the compiters read out statements(??) in she named them norris chester and augustus (i am so normal about norris and chester . however if i told you WHY that woudl spoil tma for you + idk maybe youvw already had it spoiled adn seen things about them . or you dont care . either way its a story for another time anyway) alice often gets scolded by gwen bouchard who is . also working there and also shes hot. who said that uhh yes alice loves to annoy her and also gwen is so interesting to me but THATS A STORY FOR ANOTHER TIME !!!!! umm what else what else REMEMBER COLIN okay this is going to be a little bit about colin . he fucking . hes such a character. ok like he Knows somwthjing is wrong ?? like he can Tell . like the way the first tmagp episode ends is . interesting . to say the least . hes probably had a fucked up fear encounter . hes even scottish . and um thjeres a bit in the first episode when sam talks to him and its so silly becausw sam is like "hey colin how is the app going" and colin is like "THIS APP KILLED MY GRANDMA ))):< " or something . not that but like he got angyr You Get It and sam is like "oh my bad. i mso sorry alice told me to ask ." and colin is immediately like ". oh . (: ok then :D tell alice it was funny adn i laughed :smiling face with three hearts emoji: " LIKE . he hates everyone except alice <33 i lovw thjem so much ): AND WE SEE TJEM INTERAC T IN THE THIRD EPISODE . I LOVE THEM SO MUCH . AUGH . ummm augh the fucking conversation with sam and colin was so funny too sam is so awkward . poor boy anyway umm what else what else . YEAH UMMM AS A LOT OD PEOPLE HAVE OOINTED OUT. ALICE IS AWFULLY SIMILAR TO TIM STOKER MAGNUSARCHIVES FROM LIKE SEASON 1 . AND LIKE . god tim makes me feel shrimp emotions UMM LIKE IN SEASON ONE HES BEINGG LIKE REALLY FUNNY AND EVERYTHING . IN S2 HE LIKE. he starts getting a bit angry at everything because things have Really started to Go Wrong at the institute and also jon is being a little bitch . and at the end of s2/beginning of s3 he like . ok so theres anothjer archival assistant in like s1/s2(??) there her name is sasha and she and tim were best friends <333 some people ship them romantically some dont but either way. they were so so close and loved each other so much adn like they always come together like yk what i mean like you cant think of one of them without thinking of the other . thats how Two Of Them they were and i love them so much and augughghgh anyway ummmmm at the end of season 1 something . happens to sasha ! and its just ! not addressed until the end of s2 but like she starts acting different and everything and at the end of s2 we like learn that sasha fucking died bcause she was eaten by the not!them which is this thing thats with the fear entity known as the stranger . and um . basically it eats people and takes their place and almost no one can tell the difference like it alters everyone's memories and all the pictures and things of that person but like theres always like one or two people that can tell that it's a . whole other person . because they remember the way the real person used to be like the not!them appears in episode 3 across the street and eats this guy graham folger (love him) and amy patel (the statement giver) like remembers what og graham was like before the not!them got him yk . and in sasha's case it was this girl melanie that remembered her (i love melanie she is this youtuber she has a show called ghost hunt uk and she and jon hate each other and Cannot take each other seriously its so funny) anyway melanie was like "hgirllie that is not. sasha i?? are there two sashas" when jon assures her that sasha let her inside after she asked abt where sasha was . yk . and then jon does Researc h

i ran out of characters for this block wait

AND HE FUCKING FINDS WHAT SASHAS REAL VOICE SOUNDED LIKE BECAUSE THE NOT!THEM CANT FUCK WITH THE OLD ASS CASSETTE TAPE RECORDERS . YK and thjen he accidentally. Releases the not them into the wild lmao but um thats a whole other story the point is we learn that sasha was not. sasha . yk anyway back to tim . s3 is so bad for him and he gets like fucking . depressed . now like theres the one whole thing with sasha (thjeres this one bit where hes like "i dont even know who im sad for" UUGHGHGHGHGH) BUT ALSO we learn that the stranger also got his younger brother danny !!! traumatizing fucking experience also why is the stranhger targeting Him Specifically . one of the reasons i hate the stranger its fucking EVIL also tim hates jon now ! and he has reason to anyway um . tim is fucking . hes Sad and going through all the stages of grief aND HE DOESNT EVEN FUCKING FINISH . BECAUSE HE DIES . IN THE UNKNOWING . well trying to stop it . and UUUHUHHGHJGHJHGHJHGJHGJHJHJKJHBGHJKJHJKJHGJKJHJJHNJKJHBJKJHBMKJHBJNMKJHBJHB a bit more on this topic when jon goes to get jonah magnus' ass in s5 he like fucking sits him down adn just like fucking goes "that was for tim" "that was for sasha" AND I WAS HHDHSMDSHJDSM and then the fucking "i dont want to die" "neither did they" I AUAYUGYUHFGJHHGCFJNKNHFGVGBHJNFGH AND DONT GET ME FUCKING S T A R T E D ON THE BIRTHDAY TAPE. anyway. um. dear god how did i get from alice to this . anyway . um . YES alice reminds us so much of tim and she even has a younger brother.,,, but yes she reminds us so much of timWHICH MAKES ME SO FUCKING. WORRIED. IM GOINg TO RUN INTO MY WALL AT FULL SPEED i am so worried :thumbsup: anyway. um. uh. this was it i think i am hgoing to go play bideo games now goodbye and remember that bones are a lie peddled by big milk to keep you buying

HKDSBKJFBMNVSDJFKDBKFJH INSANE. HI

"one of the reasons i hate the stranger its fucking EVIL" is a rly good sentence

ugh i kinda want to listen to tma now. yuor fault. affectionate

ANYWAYYYY augh tragedy fans when the tragedy tragedies

UM. this was rly good and fun to read. i dont have like. words to say about the content. but YEAG BLORBOS IN LAW YOU GO 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

[lukecastellan]

nine people i'd like to get to know better

Tagged by @jeaniefranklins

Last Song: "All Around the World" by Oasis which is *embarassed sigh* my favorite band.

Favorite Color: Light pink! Like ballet slipper pink!

Last Book: I'm reading Ruthless Vows by Rebecca Ross and I am enjoying it, but it upsets me that current YA fantasy is so tame and restrained. In my day we were reading Vampire Academy where the protagonist had to kill her turned-evil boyfriend and he captured her and locked her up and put her in a vampiresque sexual trance of sorts ffs. What will happen to the children reading all this prudeness honestly!!!!!! I'm also reading a thriller called The Maid's Diary and the last book I finished was another YA, titled Make me a Liar. It was a scy-fi murder mystery and a solid 2/5 stars read. IDK is it just me or last year was really really weak, book-wise? It was very hard for me to actually find new releases that kept me hooked.

Last Movie: Saw Mean Girls at the theater and at home I rewatched D&D Honor Among Thieves. Still a fantastic movie btw.

Last TV Show: I'm watching PJ&O weekly! Also I just returned from a three week trip to Sweden and they had Scrubs available to stream there, which sadly is not true here in Brazil. Anyway I got to watch all of season one before coming home.

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: Savory! Specially if its a little tangy. I love adding lime and salt to stuff lol

Relationship Status: Single

Last Thing I Googled: The website I have to use for work cause I can never remember the link

Current Obsession: So the PJ&O show has definitely rekindled some of the decade old obsession I've had for/with a handful of characters. Also a couple months back I started to write fanfiction again and finally had the guts to put into words stories I fantasied for a long time, for the niche pairing I've secretly read since I was 17. Its scary cause fandom is daunting but wth, right? Which in turn made me want to read even more fanfiction to celebrate fanwork. People are so talented its insane. Also I have been writing some of my own original shit. Oh and its Big Brother Brasil season so I apologize for my capslocked portuguese tweets for the next 3 months because I cannotjust watch something

Looking Forward To: Carnaval is in a couple of weeks, which, love!! And to keep with the theme, let me give you a book, a movie and a show I'm excited for: Show: Severance season 2 whenever that drops Movie: Wicked part 1 baby I will be there in full green paint idc idc Book: *another disappointed sigh* I love Anthony Horowitz's mysteries, especially his self insert ode to himself (the Hawthorne and Horowitz series which is so so good, sadly;) and a new one is coming out in march, apparently. I will be there.

I have to tag nine people which is a lot and idk who likes this sort of thing and who has done it so if this bugs you im sorry so sorry just ignore. Also if you want to do it GO AHEAD and say I tagged you I wanna get to know you. Also why is it impossible for me to just answer something without a whole paragraph. Anyway, tagging @jedlelands @glorianas @pureanonofficial @clytenmestra @kallypsowrites @bisansastarks @darlingwendy @seollem-tm @peppershark

[amemenadiel]

Pl

"Czasami postrzegając się nie tylko w lustrze, ale i w duszy myślę czy jestem tym, co jestem. Słysze inne od innych ludzi rzeczy i boję się tej prawdziwej bestii w moim przebraniu. Zasłaniając się ilustracją niby czuje się bezpiecznie, a jednak nie, bo i tak to nie jestem ja, tylko obraz, jakim chce być, jak taka talia kart złożona, co karty krzyczą co wzięte "Ja! Ja! Ja jestem tym do czego się upodabniasz" lub "Ja! Ja daje ci komfort, więc uwielbiaj mnie!". Ale szczerze pod koniec dni, bez tego światła mediów, światła innych ludzi i światła dnia siedząc w łóżku myślę jak bezkształtną masą jestem-kim jestem? Na pewno nie tym, co dla każdego powinno być dobrą rzeczą i co sprawiłoby, że każdy pod rząd był ze mnie dumny. Raczej niczym, tak po prostu, bo nie określa się mimo wszystko to, czym jestem. Po prostu ilustracje, które jak puzzle tworzą obraz mnie

-Chyba tak mogę się określać- "

Eng

"Sometimes, when I see myself not only in the mirror, but also in my soul, I wonder if I am what I am. I hear things different from other people and I am afraid of this real beast in my disguise. Covering myself with an illustration, I supposedly feel safe, but I don't, because anyway this is not me, but the image I want to be, like a stacked deck of cards that screams "Me! I! I am what you want to become like" or "Me! I give you comfort, so adore me! Certainly not what should be a good thing for everyone and what would make everyone proud of me. Or rather nothing, simply because it is not defined by what I am. Just illustrations that, like a puzzle, create a picture of me

-I guess I can call myself that- "

-Amenadiel Edeński

I'm coming back again with what is important for me to present - that is, characters that are somehow related to me, or more precisely, I want them to represent me, not so much as a persona, just something that shows me - an artist (although this is too much to say to be called that). These are the three main characters, although there are a few that I should mention, but these are the only ones I'm talking about for now. each of them has some part related to me, but I wouldn't say that these characters are me, of course not. What definitely connects us are our names.

Eden is certainly a grotesque figure. They appears in the "Noname Story" universe as a person that everyone knows, but no one really knows. They lives near the city on the outskirts in a blue board house, and what is a meme is the fact that they has a course in everything possible. Think of the most absurd thing and Eden definitely has a course in it. They often rambles in the background, and when they does say something, there is a good chance it will lead to a mindfuck. Eden loves different colors and their strange combinations, which they uses in the style of clothes they wears - quite kitschy and old-fashioned. What Eden is known for is wearing long skirts, because as they says, "to air out his balls", joking of course, because Eden cannot be described as any gender. That's just Eden.

Amenadiel is the character I've been working on the most lately. And to start with, there are two versions of it, as I have already mentioned.

Amenadiel was created as an MC for the game Obey me! and there, as an exchange student, as it is said in the game, he studied, where the character he was interested in was the prince of Devildom himself - Diavolo. Amenadiel is unique in that, that he had the blood of the past demon king in veins from his father's side. This meant that Amenadiel, as the firstborn, had a curse - he had to cover his eyes so as not to enchant anyone with the servant's magic-whoever he looked at became a mindless servant, just like "like the king wanted".

However, at some point, everything related to Obey me was torn apart from the mass that was Amenadiel, in order to insert his character into the world of "Noname Story". In this version, he is the child of two wizards (this will be explained in more detail someday), aspiring to be one himself, and in a happy relationship with a person named Jade, to put it briefly. Honestly, I have a lot to say, but I know that writing it all in one post will be too extensive, I even feel that in what appears here it is somewhat done, but if you are interested in these characters, you can wait for further posts in the future, or you can ask about them and I will answer!

(This art contain the newest form of Peridot)

Peridot is from my Steven Universe AU. She was created during Era 2, and what she did initially was to prepare mass for use in Injectors. she was fascinated by my version of the White Diamond, so inspired by the process of creating gems, the fusion she witnessed and the determination to become a famous Peridot with limb enhancers, she began to create modifications of gems and artificial fusions, having the features of many gems in one, leaving their natural appearance, which led to the shattering of the White Diamond and her escape with the experiments to earth, and disappearing, leaving behind a mystery. There's a lot I've come up with with this, so I'll be sure to share more about it! I hope someone from this fandom still exists.

That's it for today, thank you for being here and sharing my works with you

[linaamm]

I need my therapist, but I can also vent to you guys.

In Norway, it's 2 am. right now, and I can't sleep. I need to study and prepare myself for this massive history test I have next week, but I just can't shut off my head. I can't turn off my thoughts. I keep thinking about everything I slowly keep forgetting in life. Does that make sense in any way?

You see, I'm 28 years old soon, and I have lived the longest life one possibly can imagine at such age. I've lost family to sickness. I've lost dear friends to drugs and violence. I myself have been a victim of brutal domestic violence, and I also lived through unnecessary, unspeakable violence from other people whom i didn't even know the name of.

I've been beaten, done heavy drugs, and I was placed in the system. I've almost died so many times. I've had cancer, countless OD's, and so much self-harm over so many years. I've also been in prison. The only man I ever truly loved with all my heart, who I knew for over half my life, died next to me. Many years later, I was married to a narsissist and thankfully got out.

These are just some of the things I've been so lucky to live through. There's more. I could write a whole book about my life, and I truly believe it would sell well, but I won't. Not because it hurts to think about it, because it does, but because I can't remember. At this point, it has become so much for me to bear that my memory shuts down completely. And even though things are good now and I live a beautiful life, doing good in school and having awesome people around me, it's too late. My brain can no longer keep hold of memories because of all the continuously heavy trauma over so many years. My brain can create new memories, but it let's go of them just as fast as it creates them. I'm not sure what that condition is called in English, but it looks a lot like dementia ("kognitiv hukommelsesvikt" in norwegian if someone is curious). IM 27 YEARS OLD DAMMIT.

I can gladly forget all the bad stuff. But it's not only the bad stuff that at some point will be gone forever. It's also the good stuff. Family vacations, various celebrations with good friends, peoples names and faces, the man I loved so FUCKING much. All the laughs, drinks, hugs, places, EVERYTHING will be gone at some point. I keep getting sadder and sadder because I keep noticing the small, beautiful things I forget in life on a daily basis, and it sucks.

Over the past 6-7 years, I've been writing journals. Almost daily. But not once I could make myself read some of them later on. And I keep lying here until 3 a.m., thinking, why, JUST WHY, do I even bother writing everything down when it's all gonna be gone from my memory at some point? If I were to read these journals again, it won't feel like my memories, it will just be someone's else sad life stories.

So I have no choice but to live in the moment. Accept it and just let go. But it's so fucking sad, and no one can do anything about it. It doesn't help with therapy. It doesn't help to talk about what hurts because i can't remember anymore. It's pitch black. It's only a strange, hurtful, but weirdly familiar feeling that I have that reminds me that all this fucked up shit has happened, nothing more. In a fucked up way, it's fine because I don't get flashbacks or nightmares or diagnoses like PTSD and stuff like that. My brain just shuts it out completely. We've tried to make me remember. The people in white coats tried so hard. But with no luck.

So that kept me up tonight. Shit I can't even remember.

If you red this far, thank you so much for your time. You may think it isn't much, but it really is. I always used to vent here when I first started using this platform, and it helped me so much. 💖

It's now 02:55

[autumntouched]

What do you think made Nat want to be a pilot?

Day 3 of Ode to Phoenix:

The story of why Natasha becomes a Navy pilot is much darker so keeping things light for now and sticking to her first desire to fly.

Also, so sorry in advance! I'm turning these around in less than 24 hours so there won't be much research or editing. Please let me know if there are any glaring/ignorant mistakes. Just a note that this story takes place in pre-9/11 airports when Natasha's parents would have been able to walk them to and pick them up from the gates.

For you @sylviebell

Inspired by real life pilot Beverley Bass featured in the song "Me And The Sky" from the musical Come from Away.

Summary: In the wake of her parents' divorce, a five-year-old Natasha adjusts to having to travel to see her dad and gets a lesson in flying.

Nothing Between Me and the Sky

Natasha presses her face and hands to the glass, watching the bags being loaded onto the plane. She looks for her brand new pink suitcase among them but can’t see it yet. What if it gets left behind? 

Luca stumbles into her, and their heads knock together.

“Owee!” she complains, momentarily distracted by her brothers’ shoving match. “Say sorry Luca!”

“Don’t be such a baby, Nasha,” Sebastian taunts. “He barely touched you.” 

Natasha looks for Mama to tell Sebastian and Luca to stop, but she’s chasing down Gabby who’s wriggled out of her stroller once again. Sebastian used to be nice. He used to let her play with him and read her his Tintin books. But he hasn’t been that way since Daddy decided he didn’t want to live with them anymore. 

Luca will do anything to be on Sebastian’s side, so he sticks his tongue out at her. “Baby! Baby! Nasha is a baby!”

She turns to face them fully, her hands curling into fists. “I’m not a baby!” 

“Are too,” Sebastian says, a mean grin spreading across his face. His dark eyes dare her to argue with him. 

Natasha’s cheeks and neck heat with anger. “Am not, stupid!” 

“Sebastian!” Mama’s back with Gabby on her hip. “You’re supposed to be in charge of your brother and sister. And Natasha, what have I told you about calling people names?”

Their mother glares at all of them, but none of them will break sibling code and point fingers at who started it. Even at five, Natasha knows better than that. “It’s not nice,” she mumbles. She drops to the floor and pulls her knees up to her chest. No one’s nice now that Daddy’s gone, even Mama sometimes. Before she would have given each of them a chance to explain what happened. At least, Mama doesn’t make her apologize. She’s distracted by the gate announcement over the PA. 

Gabby kicks her legs and stares down at them with her thumb in her mouth. It’s not fair that she gets to have Mama all to herself while the rest of them go to Colorado to see Daddy.  

Natasha crawls over to the window and sits back on her heels. She already misses Mama, even though she misses Daddy too. Her throat hurts like she’s going  to cry, but Sebastian will start to make fun of her again if she does so she stares hard at the cart of luggage. What happened to her pink suitcase?

Natasha rests her forehead against the glass and glances over at the American Airlines plane. How does something so big get in the air? It looks heavy. 

It’s not long before Mama touches her shoulder and holds up her red Hello Kitty backpack. “My suitcase isn’t on the plane!” Natasha tries to tell her while putting her arms through the straps.

“They’ll put it on, sweetheart, and it’ll be there when you get to Denver. It’s time to board.” She motions Luca over. “Hold your sister’s hand, please.”

Natasha snatches her hand behind her back, still mad at him for stepping on her. “I don’t need to hold his hand. I’m not a baby!” 

Luca doesn’t look like he wants to hold hers either and glances pleadingly up at Mama. Gabby kicks Natasha’s shoulder twisting to look out the window. “Airpane!” she shrieks, pointing at the plane. “Airpane.”

Everyone’s hitting her, and Mama doesn’t care. Natasha crosses her arms and marches toward the door that leads to the plane. She wishes she could fly away by herself and never have to see any of them again. 

Luca runs up beside her. “Mama says you have to hold my hand,” he grumbles. “Or you’re going to get in trouble.” 

“I don’t like you! You didn’t say sorry,” Natasha refuses, keeping her arms crossed. She steps out of the way of a man hurrying to the desk before his duffel bag hits her in the head. 

“Mama said—.”

“Mama said,” she repeats. It’s what Sebastian does when he wants to annoy them.

“Stop it, Nasha!”

“Stop it, Nasha!” 

“You’re going to get in trouble.”

She glares at him. He’s not supposed to tell on her. “You’re going to get in trouble,” she dares him.

Luca frowns, his blue eyes calculating, and then lunges at her. Natasha turns and runs for the gate. He’s right behind her and faster. A tug on her backpack pulls her up short and nearly off her feet. “Stop it, Nasha! You’re going to make Mama mad.” 

Before she can turn around, a pretty woman in a blue uniform leans over the desk. “Are you the Trace family?” 

“Yes,” Mama says, hurrying up behind them with a crying Gabby kicking in her stroller. “Luca, Natasha, and where—Sebastian!” Sebastian drags his feet to join them. The passengers lining up at the gate are looking at them in mild annoyance. One woman rolls her eyes in disgust. 

“I hope they’re not sitting near us,” she complains loudly to the man in a business suit beside her. 

Natasha moves closer to Luca. Sebastian must have heard the lady because he steps in front of them, a hard look on his face. 

The pretty lady introduces herself as Tanya and tells them she’s going to help them onto the plane once they’ve said goodbye to Mama. Mama hugs and kisses each of them. Natasha hugs her back hard. She doesn’t want to let go. “I love you, Mama!”

“I love you so much, sweetie pie.” Mama cradles her face, her eyes a little shiny like she might cry too. Mama kisses her cheek and draws her in for one last hug. Natasha presses herself into her mother’s softness and inhales the smell of her perfume. It smells like flowers and princesses. “Be good for Daddy and look out for each other, okay?”

Natasha nods and squeezes tighter. When she lets go, Natasha blows a kiss goodbye to Gabby and takes Luca’s hand. They follow Tanya and Sebastian down the gangway to the plane. She looks back over her shoulder to see Mama waving to them until the people lining up behind them block her view. 

While they wait at the front of the plane for the flight attendant to seat them, Natasha peaks into the cockpit and is surprised to see someone with shoulder length blonde hair bent over a clipboard.

“Are you a girl?” she asks in surprise. She’s never seen a girl fly a plane before! 

The woman turns, a large smile on her face. “I am,” she says with a funny twang in her voice. “Are you flying with me today?”

“I think so,” Natasha says shyly. She looks around at all the buttons and knobs. There are so many. She wonders how the woman knows which ones to press. “Is that how you fly the plane?” she asks, pointing to the black yoke in front of the pilot. 

“Want to come take a look? Be my co-pilot for a little?”

Natasha nods eagerly. She lets go of Luca’s hand so she can step into the doorway that leads to the tiny, mysterious room. The woman waves her closer. “I’m Captain Bass. What’s my co-pilot’s name?”

“Captain Natasha.”

That makes Captain Bass smile and deepens the laugh lines around her eyes. She looks very nice and brave. “A pleasure to be flyin’ with you today, Captain Natasha. Want to see how we’re going to take off?”

Natasha nods eagerly, resting her hand on the chair so she can lean forward to see all the things the captain points out to her. The actual co-pilot is a girl too! They let her touch some of the buttons and tell her about the big engines that will help them get in the air. 

“See this, Captain Natasha?” asks Captain Bass, pointing to the yoke. “This is what steers the plane. When the plane’s going fast enough, we’ll pull back on this here to lift us off the ground. And when we’re ready to land, we push forward. Want to practice?”

Natasha nods eagerly.

The pilot gets out of her seat, and Natasha’s heart skips excitedly. Could she really get to see what it’s like to fly a plane? To look through the window and see the sky and the clouds in front of her? “Can I?” 

“Up you go,” Captain Bass says, and Natasha climbs reverently into her chair. She can feel how important it is, the sense of weight it holds to be at the helm of something so powerful. A thrill rushes through her as she settles into the captain’s imprint and imagines herself being tall enough to look through the windshield. One day she’ll know what all of the panels and controls mean and how to use them to send something so heavy soaring high enough to make the world below look like a landscape of toys. She could fly other girls to see their daddies or mommies. 

The pilot crouches beside her and shows her how to hold the yoke, and Natasha can hardly believe that something so small moves something so big. 

Captain Bass holds up a headset. “And this is what I use to communicate with air traffic control. They’re the ones who know everything that’s going on and keep us all safe. One of the most important things about becoming a pilot is learning to be a good listener because you need a whole team of people to help you do your job well. Are you a good listener?” 

“I’m a good listener,” Natasha promises, staring seriously into the pilot’s kind eyes. They’re as blue and clear as the sky. Natasha hopes she grows up to be just like her one day. It feels like this woman could do anything. 

Captain Bass smiles and reaches into her bag. “Then looks like you’ve earned your wings, Captain Natasha. These mean you’re a pilot now too.” She hands Natasha gold wings like the ones on her chest and helps her out of the chair. “Maybe your parents can help you put these on.”

“My parents aren’t here,” Natasha says sadly, looking longingly at her new wings. 

Understanding passes over the captain’s face. “Maybe we can see if Miss Paula can help you put those on, then.”

“I’d love to,” Miss Paula says. Natasha looks up to find another nice looking woman waiting for her in the doorway. The flight attendant takes the wings and pins them to her sweater, careful not to stick Natasha’s skin. “If you need anything during the flight, sweetie, you just let me know, okay? Let’s get you seated with your brothers.” She puts a hand on her shoulder to steer her down the aisle. 

“One more thing,” Captain Bass says. She extends her hand and Natasha shakes it like a grown up. “Good to have you aboard, Captain Natasha. Thanks for your help getting everyone safely to their destination today.”

Natasha smiles proudly and touches the wings on her chest. She waves goodbye to the pilots before Miss Paula leads her to her brothers’ row and helps her put her backpack under the seat and buckle up between them.

“Where did you get those?” Luca asks, pointing to her wings.

Natasha sits up straight just like Captain Bass. “The pilot’s a girl like me! She made me a pilot too.”

He frowns and argues knowingly, “You’re too little to fly a plane.”

“Am not!” 

“Are too!”

Sebastian looks up from his book. “It’s just pretend, Luc. Leave her alone.” 

“It’s not pretend,” Natasha insists. “I am too a pilot! I just flew the plane.”

Luca laughs at her and shakes his head. Her oldest brother shrugs, bored. “Okay, whatever. Just stop arguing about it. Why are you being so annoying?”

She bites her lip and looks down to hide how much that hurts. She doesn’t like when Sebastian is annoyed with her. Luca looks at her haughtily and mouths, “Are not.” Then he pulls out some of his coloring books and ignores her. With no one to play with, Natasha cranes her neck to look out the window over Sebastian’s shoulder.

The airport and Bay slide by as they taxi from the gate. She knows Captain Bass wouldn’t leave without her suitcase so it must have made it onto the plane. When the plane pauses on the runway, Natasha closes her eyes and imagines the cockpit. As the plane gathers speed, she pretends she’s there, hands on the controls with the open sky in front of her. And when the nose lifts off the ground, she’s the one pulling back aiming the plane to the clouds. 

Ode to Phoenix Masterlist

[finalshaper]

13 19 43 😈 for the guardian asks

send me asks about my idiot

13. Is your Guardian stealthy or "stealthy?"

If I am interpreting this correctly...

If it's stealth as in sneaking around Assassin's Creed style, Nebula is nearly inaudible when he wants to be. You couldn't even hear the noise of his mechanicals as he moves, like the shadows themselves concealed him in the silence of space. Living out in the wilderness for six years before turning himself up at the Last City has taught him well to be as quiet as physically possible for a Titan, for an Exo.

In any other situation where he's messing around, he isn't exactly the most quiet. He knows he isn't doing it because survival and tactical advantages are on the line, so he lets himself go a little. He's still incredibly quiet depending on the situation, but you can at least hear him a little bit if you really listen closely or he happens to slip and make a noise that's less-than-quiet.

19. If your Guardian left behind audio logs like Cayde after his death, what would they say? Who would they be addressed to?

Nebula would leave behind both audio logs and written files. They would be found everywhere -- in the nooks and crannies between the places the world forgot, blared on repeat between the lines of his favourite songs, played like an ode or an elegy aboard his beloved Morning Star. So to speak, metaphorically, blah blah.

They would address anyone who finds them, anyone who cranes their neck and strains their ears to hear the whispers on the wind, those attentive and sharp enough to hear whispers of his life and death between the singing of songbirds and his legacy echoed in the yips and barks of coyotes over a wasteland.

They can be found in Cayde's old stash sites. In Pulsar's library. In Atlas' accounts of the Hive. In the eyes of Zavala, of Ikora, of Banshee and Amanda and everyone in the Tower that had been blessed by his presence, stolen away so suddenly and sharply. He dies, and in his will is the world laid at the feet of his inheritors.

The physical journals and audio files are just as widespread as the metaphors I've painted to describe them. They can be found in hidden places, yes, but also bought with the right price, or handed off from one person to the next, and some of them you might just be lucky enough to find copies of them. They address his "Inheritors," -- his children, his crew, his lovers, his friends, and even whoever may be listening and reading. Most notably, however, they address Cayde -- his King of Spades, his dear Wormwood.

Coordinates wrapped in riddles to riches untapped. A legacy of sorrow and of strength and of pain, his life story recounted in simple words and plain speech. In warnings, in instructions, in fables and tales from his life that make him sound a thousand times more legendary than he actually is. After all, he is just a man. Before a Guardian, he is a man. Before a father, he is a man. Before a husband, before a lover, before a hero, he is a man.

And even in death, he doesn't want the world he's leaving behind to forget this.

43. If your Guardian is the type for pranking, what kind of pranks do they do?

Look. I may have previously described Nebby as this big serious brooding badass but he is actually a big goofball. Pure of heart, dumb of ass. He's serious only when the situation or circumstances call for it and his level of seriousness often dictates just how dire the situation is. Is he snappy and sarcastic, maybe making perfectly-timed witty comments? Not that serious. Suddenly barking orders and glowering at anyone who looks at him expecting him to laugh and say it's a joke? Oh shit, the Witness is here type serious. It takes a LOT to make him take anything serious, which he is often chided for -- "Do you not understand the weight of the situation at hand?"

Some of Nebula's pranks are harmless, like purposefully rearranging people's things so they think they've misplaced it only to find it hiding under their nose. But some of them are more on the disruptive and even mean side -- but he means well regardless.

Depending on the person he's pranking, he often knows just what makes them click. Just what would drive them up the wall. And he plans just what to do, meticulously, with as much precision he can muster -- and then, he strikes, having constructed the perfect prank to either tease them slightly, make them laugh, or come across as pure mean-spirited depending on the individual, their comfort level, and the observers (if any).

Yes, he has gone after Ikora. Yes, he has gone after Zavala. Banshee. Saint. Eris. He has a hit list and he swears he will mess with everyone on it before he dies his final death or so help him.

Buuut considering how sweet he is, he often helps with cleanup and the like, and makes sure that the person he messed with is laughing by the end of it. That is, if they can.

and as a bonus because I DESPERATELY want to answer this one:

28. Their reaction to Cayde's death? Were they bloodthirsty, hungry for revenge; or tired and grieving after so many lost?

ready the screaming at me in the comments and the ask box because this one is a DOOZY

Cayde-6 was his first husband. Together they raised the twins Ace and Kookaburra, who accompanied Cayde to the Prison of Elders. Of the four, Nebula was the only one who survived. On his way to where Cayde was upon responding to a call he made to him, he saw the bodies of the twins.

Ace, having been shot in the head, clearly after postulating himself and puffing himself out, taking the Scorn who killed him down with him. Nebula swelled up with pride, despite the fact that he was so utterly crushed. However, somewhat hopeful that one day a Ghost would find Ace. Kookaburra was found mutilated in a room full of dead Scorn, having been brutally torn apart by her, where she clearly sustained several major stab wounds, gunshot wounds, and other wounds before killing her opponents, and succumbing to her injuries.

Nebula didn't have the guts to tell Cayde. He didn't have the guts to tell anyone. His life was torn away from him within the span of a few hours -- but part of him felt that Cayde already knew. He was with them, after all, unless he went ahead. That could explain it. Both of their children were dead and he wouldn't even know. At least they went down fighting -- that had to amount to something.

Nebula was there when Uldren shot Cayde. When the thread that kept him stable through loosing his children snapped, snapped with an echoing shot, with silence, with a cry that must have been from him even if he couldn't exactly feel or hear him making it. Losing Cayde so suddenly, so brutally, just as he was arriving to the scene, was his last straw. If only he had been quicker, if only he didn't slow down, then maybe. Just maybe.

And Uldren was gone as soon as Nebula saw him, too spacey to process anything other than a pain so visceral it had no words, the man he'd spent twenty long years with was torn from him, the man he'd raised children with, the man he swore that if he lost he would never love again. And there was hatred, agony and hatred, a desire to tear into Uldren like a wretched animal. Uldren took everything from him.

There was rushing to Cayde's side, there was heaving him into his lap, watching the light fade from his optics, begging him to hold on. He'll use a healing grenade, anything, anything -- he promised Cayde he was going to be okay, to stop being so lovingly insufferable for two seconds, he was going to save him, he was going to bring him home...

And bring him home he did.

Wrapped in cloth, laid across Nebula's rounded shield, the only part of him visible being one of his hands, adorned with a wedding ring.

Nothing worldly can we take to the life after one's final death.

And Nebula carried him home, strapped on his shield, bearing the weight of a widow on his shoulders. A vilomah, grief threatening to crush him whole.

He was tired. He was grieving. But he was also burning with the fury of a thousand suns.

And he sold his soul to hunting Uldren. To rallying Guardian after Guardian to his cause, working as one. A swarm of a thousand bees flocking around a singular Queen; a Queen of Hearts. Everything he did was for the sole purpose of avenging Cayde, even if it didn't seem related. All a tiny piece to a thousand-piece puzzle, climaxing in leading a pack of thousands of Guardians to Uldren's location for the sole purpose of scaring him into surrender, or tearing him apart like ravenous wolves.

Nebula was the one who killed Uldren, hands shaking, burning with hatred. And when the deed was done, it ended not with a whimper, not with the bang of a gunshot, but of a roar of victory. Death thrown off the back of his pale white horse. And it was responded to by the voices of thousands. No longer will Nebula hold the title of The Widow, no longer would he be known as Widow-of-Hen, Widow-of-Spades or Hunter's Widow. Only the Queen of Hearts remains.

But even then. Even then, that wouldn't take away the pain. No amount of killing would bring Cayde back, and he set in motion what could possibly be a brutal cycle of revenge killings. No more, he declared. No more.

He spent much of this time in solitude. Visiting his husband's gravesite, and the accompanying cenotaphs to their children, their bodies having been left out on purpose in hopes that they might one day be selected by Ghosts. Unlike Cayde, the twins actually had a chance.

There was nothing left for him now other than tilting his face to the light and hoping that it will all pass. That he will breathe again. That the weight on his chest would stop crushing him whole.

Once there was four. Then there was two.

And now there is one.

[anitosoul]

My Favorite Albums of 2020

4. Fleet Foxes, Shore

Favorite Tracks: Sunblind | A Long Way Past the Past | Jara

Fleet Foxes was one of those bands that got me into music. Like many kids who were in high school in the early 2010s and formed their initial identity around hipster pretention, I thought I was really interesting for listening to indie folk. While I genuinely enjoyed the music, it’s hard for me to say that I really connected with it past a smug aesthetic identification with “indie” just because it was cool at the time. Nearly a decade later, Fleet Foxes is still making excellent music, and is one of few bands that I’ve felt has evolved musically alongside my own personal growth and ethos similar to Vampire Weekend’s Father of the Bride or Bon Iver’s i,i. I’ve thought a lot about how I’ve changed in the past decade, experiencing my formative years entirely in the 2010s (also known in Time Crisis terms as a Tight Eight, or high school and college within the bounds of a singular decade). If there’s any lesson I can take away from the past ten years of my life, it’s gratitude and humility. Having more agency and responsibility over the choices in my life and interpersonal relationships has shown me that I don’t need to change who I am to please others and that people are just people; life doesn’t have any rules and everyone’s just trying their best. A genuine connection to and appreciation of the world and environment is also something that I’ve really developed over the past two years, and Shore feels like a culmination of these themes, tying youth and time to nature and seasons. This is most apparent on one of my favorite tracks, “A Long Way Past the Past”: 

More than I had in mind More than I wish I knew And now it’s near on me Some rush of red fear And my worst old times look fine from here I know you walked this route And you might help me out You said what’s done is done I can’t turn the hand ’round But still it looks a long way down - Fleet Foxes, “A Long Way Past the Past”

When I went back to NYC for the autumn months, I decided to go to the Catskills with two of my best friends, something that I had been wanting to do but never prioritized over the allure of the city itself. We timed our trip specifically around the peak of fall foliage in early October. I saved Shore for this excursion, knowing that Robin Pecknold dropped the album specifically on the autumn equinox, signaling the last rays of summer and the beginning of long, cold nights. I don’t think I picked a more appropriate setting for listening to the album–the weekend we went out to the Catskills had some of the most gorgeous weather I’ve ever experienced, the leaves were vivid shades of yellow, red, orange, brown, and purple, and I was hanging out in a tiny cabin with close friends disconnected from the rest of the world. I later found out that Pecknold wrote a majority of the album after inspiration from a similar trip to the Catskills, and Shore‘s accompanying short film includes vibey, drawn out shots of the New England environment. Walking on the same land and physically connecting to the trees, grass, plants, fungi, and critters of the Catskills materialized my connection to this album. I thought about the trees and how long they had been there; I felt grateful for their magic, their beauty, and their wisdom. I recently read an excellent New York Times article called The Social Life of Trees that explains how older, dying trees will send their own resources and notify younger trees of dangers by communicating through underground mycorrhizal fungal networks. This challenges the traditional Darwinist notion of competitive survival and suggests that cooperation may be the key to success in nature. I’ve thought about how this could be applied to people, and felt that a lot of the themes of Shore share the sentiment. A standout lyric for me is on “Jara,” an ode to Chilean political activist Victor Jara that considers a similar transfer of wisdom from eternal figures:

Though we’re only alive a short while So many beneath my feet All weather, you walk with me And you were off on a wandering mile I was holding a weak excuse I was heavy beneath blue - Fleet Foxes, “Jara”

This theme is also clear in my favorite track on the album, “Sunblind.” Pecknold name drops his inspirations on the verse and brings us back to the present, enjoying simple times with friends in the chorus:

I’m overmatched (for Arthur Russell) I’m half as wise (Duncan and Curtis) If this is flat, brother I apologize (Jimi and David, for Nick and Otis) No one alone (For Bell and Buckley) Can leave the cave (Marvin and Adam) And all you’ve loaned won’t be kept inside a grave (For Arthur Russell, for Arthur Russell) I’m gonna swim for a week in Warm American Water with dear friends Just intending that I would delight them Swimming high on a lea in an Eden - Fleet Foxes, “Sunblind”

When I first listened to the masterpiece that is “Sunblind,” it was like every aspect of this kind-vibe crunchy appreciation for old wisdom, new friends, and the planet came together at once. I thought about all of the people who have shaped me; I thought about how I wouldn’t be who I am today without the love, support, and wisdom of friends, family, teachers, and mentors. I listened to “Sunblind” as my friend drove us down a sun-drenched hill, me sticking my head out of the window like a dog. I was sunblind. I felt like a kid. I felt like I was experiencing magic. It was the sublimity of life imitating the sublimity of art. Shore is autumn in an album.

[cyarskj1899]

There’s some songs that are worth listening and others that ain’t worth your time and ears

The 5 best and 5 worst songs of 2022

2022 boasted a variety of musical gems from artists like Noah Kahan, Maggie Rogers, and Taylor Swift.

The year also gave us duds from artists like Leah Kate, Panic! At the Disco, and Drake.

The five best and five worst songs of 2022 are listed below, with each batch in chronological order.

Ethel Cain's "American Teenager" skewers the so-called "American dream" with gothic imagery and biting wit.

Ethel Cain is the artistic persona of 24-year-old Hayden Anhedönia, invented as a vehicle to explore both the beauty and danger of patriotism, religion, and idealism — especially in the Bible Belt of the American South, where she was raised.

"American Teenager" is the crown jewel of her debut album "Preacher's Daughter." It's a catchy, searing satire about growing up with visions of greatness, all while surrounded by violence.

"When 'American Teenager' dropped, I quickly started seeing people be like, 'Ethel Cain makes me want to grab a Bible and go to church, buy a gun and praise the American flag.' And I was like, 'That is absolutely not the point at all,'" Cain told i-D.

"I know the bad things that have happened to me in the South. I know the negative connotation that I get when I look at a Bible or I look at the American flag," she continued. "The private reclamation of my home, of the little things in between the cracks that I was coming back to loving, was being misinterpreted as me just going down South, guns blazing, flag waving, taking all of it back into my arms... it's something I have to be wary of."

"Girls Against God" by Florence + The Machine is a powerful ode to feminine rage.

From the very first verse, it's clear that "Girls Against God" is one of Florence Welch's most honest, eloquent, and arresting songs to date: "What a thing to admit that when someone looks at me with real love / I don't like it very much / Kinda makes me feel like I'm being crushed."

The song is packed with sharp observations and turns of phrase that capture the exquisite rage of womanhood: "In my darkest fantasies / I am the picture of passivity," "When I decided to wage holy war / It looked very much like staring at my bedroom floor."

Florence makes it clear that her pain is compounded by isolation, and the song doubles as an appeal for solidarity.

Noah Kahan's "Stick Season" is a stunning display of nostalgia and vulnerability.

"Stick Season," the lead single and title track from Noah Kahan's third album, is a monument of confessional songwriting.

The folksy hit is driven by energetic acoustic guitar and Kahan's fearless sincerity. He talks about running into his ex's mom, confesses to playing the victim, and opens up about the "darkness I inherited from dad." He turns each bite-sized phrase into a revelation: "Once called me forever, now you still can't call me back" is one of the most concise and acute summaries of heartbreak I've ever heard.

More than a breakup song, "Stick Season" captures the empty feeling of being left behind, drawing a parallel between the man in the rearview mirror and the Vermontian trees, standing barren in the cold air.

"Anywhere With You" is the best song Maggie Rogers has ever released.

"Anywhere With You" is the blazing core of Maggie Rogers' excellent sophomore album "Surrender."

The whole album is imbued with intense emotion, but "Anywhere With You" is the one time when she's not trying to find anything — she's just feeling everything, knowing exactly where it will lead.

Rogers pours herself into a homemade volcano like a kid at a science fair, building towards an explosive moment of catharsis: "You tell me you want everything, you want it fast / But all I've ever wanted is to make something fucking last."

The structure mimics the lyrical narrative with piercing precision. This is a product of an expert songwriter following all the right instincts.

"Would've, Could've, Should've" by Taylor Swift is the best song of 2022.

I have already written extensively about the brilliance of "Would've, Could've, Should've," the 19th track on Taylor Swift's extended version of "Midnights."

The more I listen to it — the more chills run down my spine every time I hear Swift wail, "Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first" — the more I feel it belongs in the pantheon of Swiftian masterpieces alongside "All Too Well," "Clean," "August," and "Tolerate It."

So of course, in the grand tradition of "All Too Well" and "August," "Would've Could've Should've" easily claimed the top spot on our ranking of the year's best songs. Read the complete list here and listen to the playlist on Spotify.

"Twinkle Twinkle" by Leah Kate is an unpleasant and unimaginative take on the pop-rock resurgence.

"Twinkle Twinkle" is a transparent ploy to recreate the success of Gayle's "ABCDEFU," which was itself an attempt to recreate the success of Olivia Rodrigo's "Good 4 U."

Unfortunately, Leah Kate possesses neither the marketing finesse of Gayle nor the lyrical prowess of Rodrigo. "Twinkle Twinkle" is as generic and derivative as it gets. 

"Middle of a Breakup" is the lowest point on Panic! At The Disco's newest album.

"Middle of a Breakup" sees Brendon Urie doing his best impression of Freddie Mercury if the Queen frontman starred in a '70s musical.

If you're like me, this already sounds like a disaster. If you're a show tune enthusiast and this sounds appealing, you'll still be disappointed — Urie doesn't have the chops to pull it off. He strains his voice to reach uncomfortable falsettos, only to deliver melodies that are more suited for a Target commercial than a Broadway stage.

"Staying Alive" by DJ Khaled, featuring Drake and Lil Baby, is reductive and lazy at best.

2022 was the year of the gimmicky sample and "Staying Alive" was the worst offender.

DJ Khaled's take on the 1977 disco classic is completely devoid of originality or personality, and the song's two featured artists do nothing to save it. Drake delivers the Bee Gees' iconic hook with such profound laziness that it makes me question whether he is, indeed, alive.

"Circo Loco" includes one of Drake's most distasteful lyrics to date.

"Circo Loco," the ninth track on Drake's joint album with 21 Savage, "Her Loss," includes a repulsive, blatantly sexist lyric that accuses Megan Thee Stallion of fabricating her own trauma.

"This bitch lie 'bout getting shots, but she still a stallion," Drake raps in a thinly veiled jab at the "Savage" hitmaker, who accused the rapper Tory Lanez of shooting her in 2020.

Megan harshly criticized the song in a series of tweets, shortly before she gave a heart-wrenching testimony at Lanez's trial. (Lanez has pleaded not guilty to two counts of felony assault with a semiautomatic firearm.)

"I wish he would have just shot and killed me if I would have known I would go through this torture," Megan told the Los Angeles court. "I've been made to be the villain. He's the villain."

Kanye West doubles down on his dangerous rhetoric with "Someday We'll All Be Free."

Ye teamed up with the widely discredited conservative pundit Alex Jones to release "Someday We'll All Be Free" on InfoWars. The song came in the midst of the rapper's descent into dangerous conspiracy theories, anti-Black rhetoric, and antisemitism, including explicit praise for Adolf Hitler.

"Wakin up to 'I can't do this any more' texts," Ye raps over a sample of Donny Hathaway's 1973 track with the same name, which was inspired by Hathaway's battle with paranoid schizophrenia. "You knew I follow God, so you should follow me," he adds.

The song ends with an audio clip of Ye telling Jones, "There's a lot of things that I love" about the Nazis.

As Andre Gee wrote for Rolling Stone, "The song's lyrics reflect a double-down on the conservative, antisemetic rhetoric Ye's been expressing in recent months."

"One may be sympathetic to his mental health trials," Gee continued, "and how they may be affecting his judgment, but his latest track also feels like an abhorrent subversion of a song that has been celebrated as a beacon of hope for Black people amid the white supremacy that Ye is so devoutly amplifying."

Sent from my iPhone

[bookswithdora]

A Man Called Ove by Frederik Backman - Book Review

*sighs in a melodramatic manner* I am in love with reading and stories again because of this book.

Summary:

Ove is your regular neighbouring grump who doesn’t actually get on everyone’s nerves as much as everyone gets on his nerves for disrespecting the code of conduct one must have while simply living. He is a man who believes there is a right way to do things and there is a right time to do them. He is also a man who longs to die as soon as possible.

When a mixed-up, new-age family moves in next door, Ove finds that it is not as easy to get an hour or two to kill yourself as he would've thought. Throughout the book, Ove is forced to do an incredible amount of things he wouldn’t usually agree to, however, as we move along with him on this journey he finds that certain situations that would’ve seemed impossible just a little while ago, are not so unpleasant as they have seemed.

This is my favourite book of the year. I don’t care about anything I’ve said so far, this is the book. It is my favourite of the year and is among my favourites ever.

I never thought that one of the best love stories I have read would come from Frederik Backman. He is not the writer I would expect to put out such a book, especially not this well expressed, funny and loving at times. Though that is probably because I started with his more recent work when I started reading him. I was delighted, I laughed and I cried. I also love when I laugh while I am crying, which is what this book made me do.

I started reading about Ove somewhat expecting where this book was going to take me and while my predictions about the book were right, the intensity of my feelings through it just completely blew me off. Now, I am all about that grump falls in love with sunshine trope and I do love it when I read it in books, however, the way that is done here and the way this book is more of an ode to that love rather than the beginning of the love story itself is just what makes it so magical.

I did say in the summary that Ove is just another regular neighbouring grump, however, I would not call him all that regular, since Ove is the kind of man that believes in right and wrong, the kind of man that allows his deeds to speak before his mouth do and the kind of man that would never refuse to help where help is needed. I particularly enjoyed how harsh his kindness is since those were the parts I most laughed about, and how while he believes himself to be a black-and-white type of man, he is bursting with colours when seen in the eyes of a child, or anybody else empathetic enough to look deeper inside. 

The way Ove acts, the way Ove talks, and the way Ove loves all make him such a lovable character and while I did realize that that was the point of the story itself, I didn’t realize it will be so well performed that I will fall in love completely. It is just the right amount of everything that was put into it. In Serbian, we have a word ‘taman’ that describes this particular character development line (I think the word comes from Turkish or Arabic, though I am not sure), and it means “just right”, just the right amount of everything. And while the book did have an immigrant and a gay person and made the old grump from the neighbourhood interact with them so you could see that he is not all that bad and traditional, it wasn’t overly exaggerated and it didn’t seem like the grump was ‘more woke’ than he would be in a realistic situation, it seemed just right, in other words, the way Ove was and Ove did felt taman. 

While I loved the other characters in the book and the way they behaved, I don’t feel like anybody who meets such a person at first would accept him as easily as they did, and the fact that Ove had Sonya who, even though she isn’t present in the story, made some of those connections possible is what made me even more joyful. Because sometimes is not about the love that we give to other people, sometimes it is about the love that we show to that one person who is ready and willing to love the rest of the world on our behalf.

“People said Ove saw the world in black and white. But she was colour. All the colour he had.”

His love for Sonya is something that is very well described in the book already and I don’t feel like I should dwell on it too much here. I loved her through him and I feel like I wouldn’t be in love with her as a character as much if I hadn’t seen her through his eyes and felt her love for the world through him.

“You don't fool me, darling," she said with a playful little smile and crept into his big arms. "You're dancing on the inside, Ove, when no one's watching. And I'll always love you for that. Whether you like it or not.”

I do hope that one day I will learn to write proper reviews and be able to describe what I read in better ways than describing how I felt about it. For now, I will just let you know that, if you haven’t already, you should read this book because I can’t be the only person bawling my eyes out in a mall’s coffee shop because of it, thank you.

[cristalknife]

Can someone please give me a job as scientific evaluator of study data validity pls?

Ok let’s start with some sourced context this post start because I read this cnn article, based on this study  because if we roast some information at least lets make it with references so that those reading can get the data and make their own informed opinion.

First roast comes to the study itself... Let’s make an itemized list of what and why some choices are very much questionable: 1. The data pool is too small to determine such absolute conclusions, [in the cnn article gladly it is mentioned so kudo goes to the cnn’s article writer...], there’re less than a hundred cases per group, on top of that the already small numbers have been made smaller by diving based on sex, age group, in 5 blocks of smoking years 2. For the marijuana smokers they literally had exact data of daily consumption for 50% of their studied cases which my dudes it makes your sensational discovery percentage absolutely unreliable and misleading 3. The group of marijuana smokers was actually not smoking only  marijuana but also tobacco... my dudes how can you stand there and make those kind of declaration when you have contaminated data??? Conclusion: This study is non conclusive their conclusions are based on data that should not have been considered scientifically sound or solid. From the article and into the real roast fest: please hold your breath for the real pearl “The American Lung Association says the only thing that should go into your lungs is clean air, so if you’re inhaling anything, it could potentially be toxic to your lungs,” Oh my gosh I am shocked at this declaration, and very much salty, now my dear docs, tell me why oh why with any inflammation, infection or other kind of problem even slightly connected to the respiratory system at least 80% of the medications given to patients are in fact inhalations... I get that probably the quote was supposed to be treated as a way to discourage any non medical inhalation... But this is the downfall of y’all frikking loving on absolutes... Absolutes will absolutely come bite you back in the ass. Can’t you see how such affirmation is so dangerous? But lets step aside from that for a sec, my dear docs, have you stopped to consider that so many medications (oh and hello my darlings, marijuana can be used as medication too, what a surprise) work oh so much better when you can get the active chemical substance right on the blood flow. The hard part is when a person has health problems when an inhalation (be it painkillers, other medication, cbd, marijuana) could help in the general condition but then still feel harmful.  At the end of the day it always comes back to the same old same old.  And it’s never do what is best, but do what it’s best for your. Namely choose the side effect you can live with today. Why? because when the list of side effect for all the meds you need to take just to survive enough to be functional for earning the money you’ll spend on the above mentioned meds... In that case the least you can do as a self care measure is actually choose what today will look like, is it better feel the pain or endure the nausea? Is it better the headache or the coughing that comes from inhalation? Is it better the vertigo or just call it a day and not move from the bed? Welcome to the crazy ride that’s having a chronic illness, each day is full of choices, and the best thing you can do for yourself is shut all the well meaning suggestion from docs who have not walked a single hour in your body and with your symptoms and do what you have the energies to do today... If that means that fuck it you need the marijuana to make the symptoms then by all means take some (not suggesting get enough to OD  but take enough that it stops the reason why you wanted to take it in the first place so you can do what you hoped/needed to do)