#also hello! sorry it's been. a while (last posted in august 2021)

[mogaiswirls]

[Image ID: A nine striped flag, it begins with a muted beige, then mustard yellow, dark mustard yellow, tinted orange, light yellow, tinted orange, dark mustard yellow, mustard yellow, muted beige. End ID]

A redesign of Honeychunic: If you do not remember, it’s definition is “A gender related to chunks in honey, honeycomb chunks in honey, and/or jars of chunk honey. The texture and taste of the honeycombs with the honey could also be a defining factor for this gender user.” I may redo the other flag in the future, but for now you just get this one.

[hugespace]

Last week I decided to revisit my WIPs and @becausethathappens wanted to know more about one of them - “Find Yourself, Lose Yourself”, which has been sitting in my drafts since August 2021.

Now, I can’t really take credit for the idea behind this fic, I’m pretty sure I saw someone saying they’d like to read a story about R&L exploring gay bars together but for two different reasons and I just decided to try writing said story; the problem is though - that was nearly 2 years ago, and I absolutely cannot find that post/comment now. So, if anyone reading this happens to remember who first came up with it, please let me know, as I’d like to give them credit. (And if someone else already wrote a story like that - also let me know, and I’m sorry! I wasn’t keeping up with new fics while on my hiatus, so I might have missed something!)

I only managed to write 3 chapters back then, and I’m just posting the first one for now.

***Find Yourself, Lose Yourself***

Rhett finds himself having to come to Link’s rescue one night, when his friend’s journey of self-discovery becomes a bit too much for him. He promises to be Link’s moral support from that point on, but will there be consequences?

***1,2k***

An unpleasant and aggressive sound pulls Rhett out of his sleep with a gasp. He has been dreaming about something he can’t remember now; the end of the dream was too sudden. For a second, his brain feels cloudy, he doesn't know what is happening. The initial confusion associated with abrupt waking up goes away quickly, however; he's in his bedroom, where else could he be. It's dark, clearly still middle of the night, and the only source of light is the ring of bluish glow around the downturned screen of his phone laying on the bedside table. Phone, which is vibrating furiously, almost like it's trying to free itself and fall to the floor. So that's the sound, his brain finally catches up.

Rhett quickly picks it up, glancing at Jessie, who is thankfully still peacefully sleeping next to him, arms hugging a pillow and mouth open. He looks at the screen - unknown number. Then the time - 2:13 am. Who could be calling him at such an hour...? He briefly considers declining the call, but an uncomfortable feeling in his gut makes him reconsider. What if it's an emergency? His wife is next to him, both sons in their rooms, but there's still his parents, and brother, and- And Link, he realises, recognising the 818 area code in front of the number. He has to pick up.

Rhett quietly gets up and leaves the bedroom, simultaneously pressing the green symbol on his screen. "Hello-?" he gently closes the door behind him and shuffles towards the door to the backyard in the dark. "Mr. McLaughlin?" a male voice inquires in return, slightly drowned by a distant sound of music in the background. "Yes...? Yes, that's me. Who's calling?" "Brad Whittler, I'm here with your- friend? Charles. He gave me your number to contact you, so you can get him, I don't think he's in a position to drive." It takes Rhett a moment to comprehend the stranger's words. Charles...? Does he know anyone…? OH. LINK.

His heart speeds up so abruptly and with such a force, Rhett feels like it might want to jump out of his ribcage. “What happened-?! Is he hurt...?” “No, no...” the tone of the voice is casual, not filled with concern, Rhett thinks. “He's not hurt, not physically, at least. He's having a pretty bad panic attack, though.” Rhett’s imagination is getting ahead of him, trying to complete what he's hearing. Was Link in an accident...? Is he at a hospital? Did something happen to someone else? “And he might be kinda drunk to be honest.” the man on the other side of the line adds after a few seconds, cutting right through Rhett's racing thoughts. Drunk...? What the hell? “I- Where is he? Where should I come?” “Bullet Bar, do you know the address?” He doesn't, he’s never heard of that place. What was Link doing there, anyway? It was obviously a bar, that much was in the name, but neither of them were ever really big on pubs, and certainly not in the recent years. Rhett switched to speaker and wrote the address given to him by the man in his notes' app, thanking him for the information and promising to be there as soon as possible. The navigation showed him he was in for a ride to Burbank, a different side than the studio, but still around 35 minutes away.

Rhett went back up to he and his wife's bedroom and gently shook her shoulder, trying to wake her enough to let her know what's going on. "Jessie? Baby." "Hmm...?"Jessie opened her eyes and blinked a couple of times, trying to get used to the darkness and to being awake in the first place. "I got a call, Link's somewhere in Burbank and needs me to get him." he spoke in a soft voice. "Don't worry, I think he's fine, I don't know much, but he's not hurt in any way" he added, seeing the sudden alarm in Jessie's eyes. "Do you want me to go with you?" she asked, pushing herself up on her elbows. "No, no, thank you. Go back to sleep, he's okay, it's not an emergency or anything. I'll let you know once I've got him, okay?" Rhett leaned down to leave a kiss on Jessie's forehead. "Are you sure...?" "Yeah, yeah, absolutely." Jessie didn't seem entirely convinced, but she laid back down and asked him for a promise to call her and tell her if everything was alright as soon as he was with Link. Rhett gave her another kiss and jogged out of the room, only grabbing a pair of sweats and a hoodie on his way. He quickly put them on, pocketed the phone, his wallet, and a set of keys, and rushed to the car.

The night was relatively cool, and the streets were calm despite it being a weekend. Rhett had to really control himself not to start speeding, his need to be there as soon as possible and find out what the hell happened was strong, and the fact that the roads were so empty made fast and reckless driving rather tempting. Wouldn't bring anything good if he got in an accident though, he reasoned, trying not to exceed the speed limit. Without any external distractions from other cars around him or sounds of people going about their daily lives, Rhett's brain quickly occupied itself with more or less probable scenarios and mind-boggling questions regarding Link's whereabouts and the reasons for his panic attack. In his rush, he hasn't even checked what that place was, it occurred to Rhett. He only put the address in the navigation and followed the directions.

He would find out soon, he realised, hearing his phone tell him to drive another 5 miles straight ahead and then turn right to reach his final destination. The part of Burbank he was now in seemed to be significantly livelier than what he drove by on his way there. Colourful neon signs on both sides of the street illuminated the sidewalks and people standing or walking on them – numerous party-goers smoking, drinking, talking loudly and animatedly.

"Your destination is on the right." the navigation declared all of a sudden, in its dry and emotionless tone of voice. Rhett slowed down and quickly glanced at the place he was supposedly trying to find. It was indeed a bar, or maybe a nightclub. The building looked innocuous, a bit shaggy even – with black walls with grey brick peeking out from underneath bits of chipping paint, and a simple red sign above the door. He parked his car in front of it, not caring about doing a good job of it, and as he was starting to reach for the handle to get out of the vehicle, he noticed something that has somehow slipped his attention when he first looked at the building. A big rainbow flag was stuck in a flagpole on top of the building and moving slightly in the wind. He brought his eyes back to the sign on the front of the bar and then opened his notes app to make sure he was in the right place. He was. He looked around and spotted another sign, standing next to the building and proudly declaring "Bullet Bar - 40 years of gay haven in Burbank!”

Was Link in a gay bar?

***

More disclaimers! The Bullet Bar is a real gay bar in Burbank, I know nothing about it though, apart from what it looks like and that it’s been around since the 80s. I just wanted it to be a bar that’s not in WeHo or some other extremely busy place. (And also, I promise Rhett has a legitimate reason to be surprised by Link’s whereabouts, not just “why would he be in a gay bar”)

[marmixedwithabitofintellect]

The Story of You

Finally! New chapter is here! Yay! This has definitely been one of my favorites because we get to see some flashbacks and tender moments! ALSO, for the sake fo the timeline I switched Daisy's Birthday to fit our story; if you wish to be added to the Tag List do let me know and come chat to me about the chapter! All the love, Mar

Disclaimer: In no way do I wish to spread hate or negative opinions about any of the characters here depicted, this is just fiction and with the purpose of entertaining you guys

Click on the visuals to enhance your reading experience!

Part 8: Memories

August 2, 2021: Week Twenty-One

Los Angeles, California. 3:00 Pm

I hated time zone differences. The flight from New York to Los Angeles was long, but I couldn’t complain when Harry had hired a private jet for me. I slept for most of the way and when I woke up I learned that we were close to landing; Lisa, our lovely flight attendant, brought me a plate of fruit and some tea, which was enough to settle the hunger I was feeling, I blame the baby for it.

We landed in LA and as I was descending the plane I saw a familiar car park in the tarmac and just before the engine cut I saw Glenne jump off the back seat and run to hug me, “Hi! Welcome! Oh let me see that belly!” I laughed as the pilot helped me get off the plane just in time for Glenne to tackle me.

I laughed while I hugged her and we did a little turn, I could see both Jeff and Harry walking towards us, Jeff was laughing while Harry had a jealous look in his face, “Glenne that’s not fair, I called dibs for the first hug”, “Yeah well you also wanted to drive so that we got here on time so you win some you lose some pal” G gave me another squeeze and let me go.

I turned to look at Harry and said hi, he grabbed my hand and pulled me in for a hug, I hid my face in his chest while he kissed my head, “I am so happy that you are here, how was the flight? Everything okay?”, I nodded, “Everything was perfect, but I could have flown commercial you know”, “Yeah right as if I would let you do that”, he let me go and went to grab my suitcase and say hello to the flight crew and Jeff took the opportunity to hug me.

We walked back to the car, “So would you mind dropping me off at my hotel first? I really want to freshen up”, Glenne opened the door and we got in “Yeah, about that, you are not staying in a hotel, Jeff and I will be very happy to have you as our guest”, “G I don’t wanna be a bother”, before she could speak Jeff turned from the front seat to see me and said “I’m sorry but why would you stay in a hotel when we have a room for you?”, I was still thinking king about it until Harry looked at me though the rear view mirror and said “Please, don’t be so stubborn, the Azoff’s are great house guests”

I finally nodded and we started to make our way to their home, on our way there we saw an In & Out and my mouth started watering, “Uhm, could we stop at In & Out please? Baby’s craving burger shake and fries”, a Harry looked at me through the mirror, “Oh really? Baby craves it”, “Shut up, I swear I was fine until I saw the sign”

We got our meals and ate them while doing small talk on the car, after we were done and we disposed the trash we started the drive back to the Azoff’s house. As we neared I felt my heartbeat rise a little, the last time I was here was a few days before Harry and I broke up and I haven’t been back ever since. G must have noticed because she reached out and squeezed my hand.

We got out of the car and Glenne pulled me to the house while Harry and Jeff unloaded my bags, when we got in I saw that some things had changed but otherwise it was still the same as remembered. We made our way to the stairs and just before following Glenne upstairs a picture caught my eye, I retreaded my steps to grab the frame and look at it closely.

It was the same wedding picture that Jeff had posted to Instagram, they both looked so happy and beautiful. My eyes started to water a little because I knew that although I was happy for both of them, that day a piece of my heart broke because it was the first time I saw pictures of Harry and Olivia together out publicly, seeing this picture and standing there I thought of the last time I was here.

December 28, 2020. 7:30 Pm

I turned the ignition off and took out the key form the hole. I took a deep breath and wiped the tears that had been falling nonstop for the last few hours. The lights on the house were on, and although I was dreading this, I had to go in soon or I would risk losing my flight.

After checking myself in the mirror I got out of the car and locked it before walking to the front door; I could hear the commotion inside and smiled a little, they were surely working on last minute wedding prep over here. I knocked the door and waited for it to open.

When Jeff opened the door, I could see his surprised face as if he wasn’t expecting me, “Hey you, everything okay?”, “Hi! Sorry to bother but I wanted to see if I could talk to you and Glenne?”, “Oh sure, would you like to come in?”, “Uhm”, I checked the time on my watch again, “Sure, I have a few minutes”, I followed him to the dining and living area where it appeared as if Michaels and Hobby Lobby had exploded, everyone there greeted me with pure excitement and that made me want to cry.

Glenne ran to hug me and when we pulled back her face changed, “What’s wrong?”, she reached to wipe my eyes. Damnit, I was crying, “Could we talk?”, she nodded, and Jeff signaled for us to go to the patio. He closed the French doors, we sat down on the outdoor couch and as I was opening my mouth to speak, I heard Glenne, “You’re leaving”, Jeff turned to look at her and back at me and laughed a little

“Why would she do that? We are four days away from the wedding, you’re not, are you?”, he turned to me and when he saw my face his smile dropped, “You are”, I nodded and let the tears fall, “I’m so sorry, I promised I tried to stay, but I can’t, the mere thought of seeing them together, I won’t be able to do it, not when I’m still grieving”

I saw Glenne’s face light up with an idea and before she could speak I did “And you’re not going to ask him to come alone just so that I won’t feel sad, he was your friend first, and he deserves to be happy”, “Yeah, but you are our friend too, we want you here, heck we wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t helped Jeff plan everything” the tears in her voice were evident

“I know, believe me I do, and I will forever be grateful to you guys for allowing me to be a part of this, and I have really thought of every possible outcome, but there isn’t one where somebody doesn’t come out hurt, and I would rather have it be me”, I reached out to grab their hands and give them a squeeze.

“Is it wrong of me to want to kill him” Jeff and I both laughed and he kissed her temple, “G, it’s nobody’s fault that he fell out of love, not all love stories are meant to have their happy ending”, I swear I heard Jeff under his breath say “Yeah we’ll see about that”, and as I was about to question him Glenne said, “Can we have a goodbye breakfast then”

My heart constricted again, “I’m actually leaving tonight, I stopped on the way to the airport” I looked at my watch “And even if I don’t want to leave, I need to go or I will lose my flight”, “Oh, then let us walk you to your car, we stood up and hugged and Jeff opened the side door so that we could get out without anyone noticing.

Before I got into my car I remembered the gift in my bag, “Oh, I know I already gave you a wedding gift, but I really wanted to give you this, they reached out for the box and opened it, inside the box there was a new polaroid, some film and a sharpie, “I trust that you will box up special moment between you just as I do and maybe someday you can show me and your future babies”

They both started tearing up before reaching out to a group hug, when we pulled back, we walked together to my car, Jeff opened the door for me and I turned to give Glenne a hug, “Please send pictures okay? Maybe have someone FaceTime me?”, “Oh I will, you’re not missing the wedding”, I gave Jeff a hug and got into my car, I waved them both goodbye and started driving down the street.

A hand on my shoulder brought me back, I turned and saw Glenne looking fondly at me, “I love this photo, this is all you”, “We also have a Polaroid version”, we both lightly laughed, “He asked about you”, “Hm?”, “The day of the wedding, he asked about you”

Glenne. January 2, 2021. 12:40 Pm

I looked in the mirror once again, this was everything I had dreamed for my wedding, and I was so happy. “Hey baby, Harry and Jeff are ready for photos”, I nodded and we left the suite I was in to go to the garden. When I stepped out I heard Jeff whistle and I laughed a little. I walked to where they were, and I saw Harry look around behind me.

“She’s not here”, “What?”, “I know you are looking for her and she’s not here, she left for good”, he nodded and looked down I could see that he was upset, “Did you see her?”, “Yup, came to say goodbye right before her flight, said something along the lines that if all possible solutions would end up in someone hurting she would take the blow”

“Glenne listen-“, “Harry stop, your relationship is your problem, but I won’t say that I am not upset, but hey, it is not your fault that you fell out of love”, I squeezed his arm and I could see his face turn into a thoughtful scowl he hugged me and we the proceeded to take photos.

“Can’t believe you said that”, “Oh I did, come on let me show you your room”, we went up the stairs and she showed me my room, “G this is beautiful”, “Thank you love, so why don’t you get settled and then come down?”, “Yup, thank you”, “Of course, welcome back Y/N”

I was checking the room when I heard a knock and turned around to see Harry at the door, “Hey, just dropping this off”, “Thank you”, he set the suitcase down on the bed rest, “Thank you H, will you stay?”, “Just for a little, I have dinner plans with Liv”, “Oh that’s great, please say hello for me to her”, “I will; uhm listen, I am sorry for not offering my place to stay, but-“, “Hey it’s okay, I wouldn’t want to impose, you deserve your space and truth be told I believe the Azoff’s are better house guests” we both laughed.

As he was leaving, he turned around and said “I am really happy that you are in LA”.

August 3, 2021: Week Twenty-Two

Los Angeles, California. 8:30 Am

After Harry left, we ordered some Thai food and went to bed. I woke up feeling refreshed, definitely the LA air was settling nice. I could smell something delicious cooking in the kitchen and decided to change before heading downstairs. I made my way to the kitchen and saw that Glenne had set breakfast on the garden and was now at the stove finishing cooking.

“Hey G, good morning”, “Good morning babe! Good morning little baby! Come on, breakfast is ready”, “Let me help you with what’s missing, okay?”, “Sure, why don’t you bring the bacon outside and I’ll plate the eggs and we’ll eat okay?”, “Sure”, after bringing everything out we each got a little bit of everything on our plates and started eating.

“Oh my God G, this tastes divine”, “Thank you love, so how have you been? What did Betty say?”, “Everything is okay, things are going as normal as possible and baby is gaining a lot of weight”, “So they will be born with chubby cheeks?”, “I hope so”, “I wanted to ask you, but I also don’t want to make you uncomfortable, your parents, have they reached out?”

I sighed and left my tea on the table, “Nope, haven’t even asked about me; spoke to Elisa last week and said she will visit soon with Ryan, I asked her about them, she mentioned they are well but have gone as far as prohibiting mentioning me”, “Oh Y/N”, “It’s okay, I think I have grieved enough and learned to live with this”, “I know that it is not the same, but I will always be your family, Jeff too”, “I know, I love you”

We hugged each other, when she released me, she reached for a gift sitting beside her and gave it to me, “Glenne, you didn’t have to”, “I know, but I wanted to, now open it”, I removed the paper from the bag and pulled out the smallest winter suit I had ever seen, “I am going to cry, G this is the cutest”, “I know right? I cannot wait to see him or her wearing it, especially if baby will be born in winter”, I looked at the outfit again and then at her “Me neither”.

August 5, 2021: Week Twenty-Two

Los Angeles, California. 11:00 Am

I had just finished my prenatal pilates I decided to go buy a smoothie, as I was in line I texted Glenne letting her know I was done and would meet her in a few when I heard someone behind me say “Well well well, we meet again in a food store”, I laughed and turned, Jason was standing behind me and I saw he had Daisy with him “Hello again and hello to you Miss Daisy! How have you been?”

I met Daisy while they were filming Don’t Worry Darling and we became close real fast, “Y/N! I’ve missed you!”, I kneeled down to her height, “I’ve missed you too sweet girl”, she then looked at my belly and opened her eyes wide “Are you having a baby?”, “Yes I am, how exciting is that?”, “Is it a boy or a girl?”, “Well I don’t know yet, I will find out that when the baby is born”, “And how long would it be until that?”

“About five more months”, “That’s too long”, both Jason and I laughed, I invited the smoothies this time and we sat for a little, “So how long are you going to be here?”, “A week, maybe two at the most”, “Heard you were in the hospital, is everything okay now”, “Yes thankfully, this baby is busy growing and being a little pest with his or her kicks” I rubbed my belly.

“Y/N will you be here this Saturday?”, I turned to give my attention to the little girl, “I will be darling, why?”, “I am having my birthday party, will you come?”, “Uhm” I turned to look at Jason “Uhm Daisy baby I’m sure that if she can she will come”, “But I want her to come”, I intervened, “Daisy, I have an appointment but I promise that if I finish on time I will come okay?”, we said our goodbyes and we went our separate ways.

Harry. Los Angeles, California. 4:00 Pm

Liv and I were chilling watching a movie while we waited for Jason to come back with the kids, she had her feet on my lap and I was absentmindedly kneading them, but I was also thinking about Y/N, I had been messaging her and I also wanted to go out with her for a few hours, so I would have to talk to Liv about it.

Liv snapped me out of my thoughts “Hey, you okay?”, “Yes, everything is fine”, a few moments later we heard a knock on the door and we both stood up, I heard Olivia open the door and the kids come in, and then Jason and Liv neared us “Is everything okay?”, Jason waved hello before speaking, “Yeah but I wanted to speak to the both of you; long story short Daisy and I ran into Y/N while we were waiting for Otis to be done with his karate and she invited her to the party”

We both were silent, and I looked from the corner of my eye at Liv, “Before you say anything, she texted me and said to please check in with you before and that she understands if you don’t want her to come”, I felt a pang of jealousy when I thought about Jason texting Y/N and Liv sighed, “Thank you, I’ll think about it”

Jason said his goodbyes and left the house, the kids were entertained watching a movie and I wanted to address the elephant in the room, “Liv li-“, “Not now, after dinner”, a few hours later she had just put down the kids and she came down, I opened a bottle of wine and offered her a glass, we decided to sit outside, we were quiet for a few minutes until I broke it “Penny for your thoughts?”, she took a gulp from her glass, “I have never been in such a position, if I say no, Daisy will probably be disappointed that she didn’t come, if I say yes, Daisy will be happy but I will be miserable and worried”, “Worried, why?”, she sighed, “Harry, I am not dumb, you may not be in love with her, but you do love her, and I can’t help but be insecure about you choosing her”

“Liv, what can I do to show you that I am in for this?”, “I’m sorry okay? But everything was going fine until she showed up pregnant”, “And I have already asked for your forgiveness about a hundred times, so please, enlighten me on what am I supposed to do”, “I don’t know okay?!”, we both sighed.

“I’m sorry, things got heated”, “I’m sorry too, listen love, you don’t have to do anything that will make you uncomfortable”, I opened my arms and I hugged her and kissed her temple “Let’s invite her, I mean Jeff and Glenne are already coming over, so why would she be left alone?”

August 7, 2021: Week Twenty-Two

Los Angeles, California. 2:00 Pm

We got to Olivia’s house and got out of the car, I grabbed the present I bought and Glenne linked her arm with mine. I was very surprised to have received a text from Olivia asking me to come, above all I respected her opinion and wishes.

Jeff knocked the door and Harry appeared, “Hello there”, I laughed, “I stop seeing you for four days and you grow a mustache overnight?”, he laughed a little, “May I?” he said looking to my belly, I nodded, “Hello there Lovebug, daddy missed you”, he then removed his hand from my belly and hugged me

“Come in, let’s have the party started”, we followed him to the backyard where Olivia was finishing setting everything up, “Y/N! You came”, when she heard Daisy scream, she turned to see us, “Happy birthday sweet girl!” I gave her a hug and then gave her the present I had brought her which she thanked me for, and she handed to her dad.

“Glad you could join us, welcome”, “Thank you for the invite”, out of the corner of my eye I saw Olivia say hello to Jeff and Glenne and kiss Harry before coming up to me holding his hand, “Hello Y/N, how are you?”, “Olivia, hi! Thank you for inviting me, your house is beautiful, and I am fine, thank you for asking” we had a little conversation before she said that lunch was ready and we sat down. Jason reached out to me and said if I wanted to sit next to him and I said yes.

Harry. Los Angeles, California. 4:00 Pm

I was sitting next to Olivia, who was being a little more affectionate, and although I did not want to admit it, I knew it had to do with Y/N being here, I was trying to engage in the conversation with Babs and Molly when I heard Y/N and Jason laugh and I turned to look at them so fast I was surprised I didn’t get a neck injury.

He had his hand on her shoulder and she was doubled in laughter and in that moment, I had the urge to punch him so before I caused a scene, I stood up and went to the kitchen to grab another drink; while I was serving it, I felt a presence behind me and I turned to see Glenne with a wary look on her face.

“Hey, everything okay?”, “Cannot lie to you, can I?”, we both laughed, “Why did I feel jealousy seeing them laugh?”, “Harry, first of all, and I don’t mean it in a very rude way but, you made your choice, and also, we both know them, and they wouldn’t date, they have much more respect for you and Olivia” I nodded she was right.

As she was walking out, she turned back and said, “If she is happy, why take that away from her?”, I finished getting the drinks and came back out, Jeff had moved to sit near them and had also joined their conversation. Daisy came and sat with her father and while I watched him kiss her and make her laugh my belly and heart felt warm thinking about the fact that if Lovebug was a girl, that would be us in a few years, however we all went quiet when we heard Daisy ask a particular question.

“Does your baby have a dad?”

Los Angeles, California. 6:00 Pm

Jason and I were laughing on the parenting tips he was giving me when Daisy decided to come sit on his lap, and as he kissed her cheeks and hugged her, my heart was doing summersaults thinking about H and baby being like that together.

“Y/N?”, “Yes?”, “Does your baby have a dad?”, the whole table went quiet and both Harry and Olivia tensed from the other side, I opened my mouth to answer but Jason beat me to it “Daisy, that is none of our business”, I reached out to squeeze his arm and said “It’s okay”, I then turned to look at Olivia and Harry for reassurance and when they nodded I grabbed Daisy’s hand

“Daisy, my baby does have a daddy, and he is the best daddy just like yours; he has a very big heart and always thinks about everyone around him. He is also very passionate about what he loves, and I hope that he teaches that to the baby”, “Will he tell the baby bedtime stories and play with them?”, “I know he will, and I know my baby will love it”, “Is he here? With you?”

“Uhm, no, he is not with me, but he is here all the time, because I always feel the love he has for this baby and that will always be good enough for me”, “Does he love the baby? Like very very much?”, all the table laughed, “Oh yes, he loves this baby to the moon and back at a snail’s speed”, she laughed at that, and I could feel the tears in my eyes.

“Daisy baby, I think that’s enough, and you should go play, okay?”, Olivia then came around and grabbed her hand, “Are you okay? I am sorry for that”, Jason handed me a napkin, “Yes, I am okay”, I turned to look at Glenne as I was purposely avoiding looking at Harry because I knew I would break if I did, but I was still able to see him stand up and head inside.

“Can we leave? Please?”, “Yes of course”, we stood up and I turned to grab my purse, which Jason has already reached for it, Jeff came to us and said “Hey, everything okay?”, Glenne answered for both of us, “Yes, she’s tired, so we want to head home”, “Okay, let me say goodbye and we’ll go together”, “No babe, its fine, you should stay a little longer, we will probably just watch The Bachelor”

“Are you sure?”, “Yes babe, he needs a friend”, she squeezed his arm, and we made our way to the kitchen, we said goodbye to Olivia’s friends that were there and Jason let us know that he would get Olivia so that we could say goodbye. Harry had disappeared when I finished speaking with Daisy and I really wanted to take advantage of this and leave without seeing him, but fate had other plans.

Harry was just leaving the bathroom, his eyes were red and he was sniffling, when he saw me we both stopped on our tracks, “Were you crying?”, “Are you leaving?”, “Yes, I’m sorry, I am very tired”, “Oh, its just, uhm I just wanted to talk to you”, Glenne then intervened, “I will be out tomorrow for an in person meeting H, Jeff is visiting Shelli, maybe you could come over?”

“Is that okay with you?”, “Sure”, I reached to squeeze his arm and when I removed my hand Olivia appeared and I turned to her and smiled “Thank you for everything, I had a great time”, “I am glad you came and glad to see you are doing so well Y/N, take care”, I then turned to Harry and gave him a small smile and wave while Glenne said her goodbyes.

August 15, 2021: Week Twenty-Three

Los Angeles, California. 8:00 Pm

Hi Lovebug, we are almost done with week 23! Eek! We have been in LA for the last two weeks and boy did we have so much fun. Your auntie Glenne and uncle Jeff have made sure that we have the best time here. So far we have visited Santa Monica, Montecito, and you also visited the beach for the first time! So far you can add to your passport Paradise Cove, Venice and Sacred Cove and Abalone Cove Shoreline Park, which we had a lot of fun.

You my love had also made mama so hungry that we have eaten In & Out, Philippe’s, Elio’s Pizza and so so many desserts. Dad has also visited you a couple of times, he is so excited to meet you and he has been singing to you <3, he is leaving for tour in a few weeks and although he is very excited he says he’ll miss you.

Tomorrow we will go back to New York and I have to do a glucose test to see that everything is fine, not going to lie but I am not looking forward to it, they say the drink is too sweet and may make you nauseous :s

I hope that when you look back at the photos I am including you can see how happy I am to be writing this story with you baby (thanks to auntie G for these), these weeks have gone by so fast, and I cannot wait to meet you!

I placed the polaroid we had taken on one of our beach trips and sticked it with the double-sided tape I now carried with me everywhere, closed the journal and packed it on my carry on. I had finished packing that suitcase and closed it. After much convincing Harry agreed to let me fly commercial with the condition to let him pay for my ticket.

Harry ended cancelling our meeting due to a tour emergency meeting and we hadn’t been able to talk, I am not going to lie, I was glad we had avoided the conversation. I was leaving for New York tomorrow, so Jeff had organized for a little wining and dining before I left, I told him that wasn’t necessary but he insisted.

We had just finished setting up and Glenne and I decided to go upstairs to change before guests arrived. I took the chance to finish packing whatever gifts and thing I had brought before checking my outfit in the mirror once again and going down to greet everyone.

After saying hello to Glenne and Jeff’s family respectively, I said hello to the friends that were there and realized that both Harry and Olivia were not here yet. As you were about to ask Glenne about it the doorbell rang and Jeff went to open, he returned to the kitchen with both Harry and Olivia in suit.

After they said hello to the guests they got near where Glenne and I were standing with James and Julia his wife, James saw Harry and turned to tease him, “Oh Harold, were you going to let me know you were having a baby when the rascal was eighteen pr what?”, we all laughed and they hugged each other, Olivia took this opportunity to greet everyone.

We said hello and I saw her reach into her bag fr a folded page “Daisy wanted for me to give this to you, as a thank you for her gift”, “Oh that’s so sweet of her, did she like it?”, “Oh yes she does, we all have been gifted a drawing”, we both laughed and I opened the drawing, she had used the kit I had given her and I smiled.

The party was well underway, everyone was enjoying the catering Jeff and Glenne had ordered and James was playing bartender; I was sitting with Shelli who was so kindly offering me some advice on motherhood when I saw Jeff tell Harry something, who tensed and nodded making his way to Jeff’s studio; Jeff then reached for Glenne and whispered something and she was also worried and they started looking around for someone.

I had a bad feeling, so I told Shelli I had to go to the bathroom and excused myself, I started looking for Glenne when she found me, “Hi, uhm we have an issue”, my heart dropped, “Is everything okay?”, “Let’s just talk in the office okay?”, I nodded and followed her, when we got in Harry was sat on the couch, hands in his head and jeff was on the phone, Glenne closed the door and I sat on one of the chairs on the desk.

Jeff got off the phone and he also sat down, “So, we have a bit of a situation”, “What kind of situation?”, everyone was quiet, and I was getting anxious, “Will someone please tell me what the issue is?!”, Jeff looked at Harry, he stood up and sat next to me, “Uhm, HSHQ has not been that active as a way of exciting fans for tour, but today, it had an influx of mentions, when we got in we discovered that a hashtag has been trending”

“Okay… which hashtag?”, he gave me his phone and I looked at it ‘#dadharry’, I started hyperventilating, they knew, “How?” I whispered, “Apparently a fan saw you in the smoothie shop, and them some of them also saw you and Glenne and they started putting two and two together”, I nodded.

I had tried so hard to keep undercover and protect this little being and failed, I felt the tears but I wasn’t willing to let them fall; Glenne was the first to speak up “So, what is going to happen now?”, before anyone else could speak I said “Where is Olivia?”, “What do you mean?”, “Harry, she is your partner, this affects her as much as us”, he nodded and went to go fetch her, when she came in we updated her on the situation.

“Now that we are all up to date, what are we going to do?”, “Nothing”, “Harry-“, “No Jeff, please”, we were quiet for a moment before Olivia spoke up, “As much as I don’t want you to, I think you should say something”, we all turned to look at her, “They already know and are speculating, and they will figure everything out, so do it, if we are not telling them anything about us, at least they deserve peace of mind about this”, Harry sighed, “I mean, I could post something vague, like I usually do?”

“Y/N? What do you think?”, I turned to look at them and wiped the tears that were falling down, “I’m sorry, this is too much”, I stood up and left the room, Glenne left first followed Harry. I went upstairs and we sat in the rom that would soon be vacant and cried. Glenne came in, closed a little the door and hugged me.

“Hey, it’s okay, please don’t cry”, “I’m sorry Glenne but this is too much, if I was already feeling guilty about cheating and what people were speculating, I am feeling so much worse now, I don’t want for him to be scrutinized or for her to be tormented about keeping a family apart; I just want a normal life for the two of us”

“Hey, look at me” she grabbed my face, “You are one of the most wholehearted girl and I really am sorry you are going through this, but the truth is, that what matters here is that you and baby are healthy and okay and not about what other people think and say, that is not your responsibility Y/N, if you want him to keep quiet he will, and if you want him to say he will also do it”

Harry. Los Angeles, California. 9:00 Pm

My heart broke when I heard her speak, she didn’t deserve this, i cleared the tears from my eyes before knocking on the door, I opened it a little and they both turned to look at me, “I’ll give you both some space” Glenne left and squeezed my shoulder.

I sat down near Y/N and opened my arms to hug her and she crawled into them, and as she cried she was crying and I shushed her and swayed a little; we stayed like this for a few minutes until she calmed down, I kissed her temple, forehead and she sat beside me. She held my hands and gave them a squeeze.

“Post it, its okay”, I nodded and gave her a hug.

August 16, 2021: Week Twenty-Three

Los Angeles, California. 7:00 Am

“So do you have everything?”, “Yup, everything’s ready”, I turned to look at both Jeff and Glenne, even through their masks I was able to see that they were tearing up, “Please don’t cry, we will see each other soon”, “Let us know when you land okay?”, I nodded, we hugged again and I walked through security.

“Good morning passengers. This is the pre-boarding announcement for United Flight 4345 with service to Newark. We are now inviting those passengers with small children, and any passengers requiring special assistance, to begin boarding at this time. Please have your boarding pass and identification ready. Regular boarding will begin in approximately ten minutes time. Thank you”

I texted Glenne and Harry to let them know I would be boarding soon and thanking them for all their attentions.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we are now inviting those passengers belonging to Group 1 to begin boarding at this time. Please have your boarding pass and identification ready”

I stood up and got in line, once I was settled on the plane, I closed my eyes and got ready for take-off; once all passengers were ready I was about to turn off my phone when I got a notification, harrystyles has posted a photo. My heart started beating faster than ever because I knew what had been posted, so I decided to turn off my phone and enjoy the five hours and fifteen minutes I would have before all hell broke loose.

Tag list @tinydestinybear @harry-is-my-sunflower @onlyamylee @adorejaelle @dirtytissuebox @msolbesg @clarawolf22 @harrysficreblog @infinitely-yellow

[sanriodanshigoods]

hello ^_^

may i ask you about sanrio danshi's twitter account? why do it says "see you later" on their header? will they comeback again? ;-;

thank you so much if you read this, have a nice day! ^_^

hey!! how are you 🌸

Well.... now that you mention it....I think is time for me to talk about it.... 😅 (lol it's sad so, I'm in total denial)

I do recognize this is my bad for not posting anything about this before, but this past few months were madness, so I'm sorry people!! 😭

What happen to the account?

The truth is that, around August last year, The @Sdan_sanrio account announced that, from November 21st 2021 that particular account was going to become a "locked" account, they even made a countdown with all the boys Counting backwards, from 5 to 1. until the very last day. They do say "see you later" and not "good bye" which might mean that, maybe, the account will be available again sometime in the future.

I was waiting to see if that account was going to be deleted, because I translated as both "locked" and "closed", my Japanese is not that good, so I'm not sure what's going to happen, but the truth is, at least I can still see it, and go thought all the past content, but I asked a friend if he can see it, but he sees it as "not available/private" account. What I guess is that .....just for a while.... they won't be neither accepting new followers or posting new content.

What about the other accounts?

As you might now, Sanrio has like....9308249832489472304 accounts per character or... sort of. With the danshi is no different, you have the game account, that has stop posting content back in 2019, the SDanshi Anime account that mostly retwits content and from time to time post news about Sdanshi Merchandizing, sadly the official Sdanshi web site hasn't been updated since 2018.

The Sanrio Danshi account that's left still available for people to follow is this one, an account that on it's description says is to promote the Sanrio Danshi products, and only a few days ago they were celebrating Shinya's birthday, (This is an official Sanrio Account because it is also promoted at the Sanrio Japan wesite):

Then you have the Sdanshi Stage Account. I don0t really post things about their live stage activities but, if you follow it, you know that they are posting the human version of the boys and did promote a lot the Kawaii Evolution Stage, besides of all the real life danshi goods to buy.

Vtubers & "real life" Idols:

The Danshi as real boys, for what I know were quite popular, now they are promoting the released of the kawaii evolution Dvd as I said before. But, I don't know if you follow..... This guy? ...well... Vtubers and Vidols are becoming even more popular, up to the point that Sanrio Puro land Hold a Virtual Festival , so my guess is that they will turn their attention to this kind of "products" and maybe leave on hold the Sanrio Danshi as we know them, for now. Sanrio did have a really busy year, this last one, if you think about it, Sanrio Puropuro Land was in quest for Puro boys n Puro girls to work there, they made an open audition for boys n girls from 12 up to 30 could apply and work as an idol at the Puro puro Land, that plus the Live stage, plus the Vtubers, etc etc... and...... I guess you might notice the character design of the Sdanshi Drawings differs from post to post, you could tell they were made by either all by different people, or quite in a rush... (Don't get me wrong please, I'm not criticising the way they were draw, cause If I'm ever ask to draw them I would end up drawing a strange looking chicken instead of Yu or something but...)...... let's be honest... they do sometimes look a bit different.

2015 & 2016

2020

2021

So well... this is as much as I can say to you, to be honest, I still don't know the real reason why that danshi account has been locked, but, I have that theory about turning their attention into developing other products. I hope the info I post here helps you a bit at least, and sorry for writing so much!!! lol...

Let's all hope they keep on posting at the other account danshi drawings, cause they are really good for promoting stuff, I still have a LOT of danshi pictures to post, the problems is that there are items that were really hard for me to find at that time, and still is now.

I was going to ask you all if you want me to keep on posting at least "similar" stuff that I find or... random news and else...

and... here is a little Yuu picture to say

bye bye and take care :D!!!!

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: August 8th

Well, doing big posts all together worked for a while but lately I’ve been putting it off because it takes a long time to get them done. I think I’m gonna try switching back to answering asks whenever I can fit it in and posting them one at a time instead of waiting until I’ve filled out one of these major collections.

But for now, here’s more ask answers! Thank you for the questions and for all the kind words along with them ^^.

Hello!! I'm here to ask if its possible to get  the game and its dlcs on steam and play it on android?

I’m afraid not. Steam doesn’t have Android builds on their own site and Steam is not cool with keys for other sites being given out for Steam purchases, so you don’t get the Itch version from buying on Steam.

Hello! Sorry to bother you but, I had a question, if we buy the Game on itchio do we get steam keys or would we need to purchase it twice? 

You would have to buy it twice if you want it in both places, I’m sorry. To repeat myself a little, Steam doesn’t like the key trading thing. Itch may support giving keys for another site, but the reverse isn’t doable with Steam and Steam doesn’t even really want you to get a Steam key for buying somewhere else either. So we just don’t mess around with that.

hey, sorry if this is frequently asked, but is step 4 free dlc or paid for? some of your sources are contradicting each other. 

It’s free! There’s a paid wedding DLC, but Step 4 itself is entirely unpaid.

Hello! I just had a quick question, for the Baxter and Derek DLC's will we be able to confess our feelings to them or let them confess to MC? or will it only be one way? (they confess to MC)

Both type of options will be available!

Hey there! I wanted to ask whether or not the Derek DLC is still on track to be released in August since on the steam discussion board it says it will be released mid 2021. I totally understand if it isn't, I'm just really looking forward to it! If you answer then ty! And keep up the amazing work :D 

It’s not, aha. Unfortunately, 2021 wasn’t easier than 2020 as we hoped so things are still slower than planned. It’ll come out late 2021 or early 2022.

Hi! Firstly I just want to say that I LOVE Our Life. I have played a bit of similar games but this one instantly wins for the best one! Everything about it is amazing! I just wanted to ask if Derek would ever lose feelings for MC, like if they make the deal and then MC gets with Cove would he move on? and even if you don't, after "losing contact" would his feeling fade or would he still like MC? 

If you don’t really keep in touch with him and clearly move on with your life, Derek will too and he’ll be over it. But if you are still close as best as you can be, he’ll still think the MC is special. Though, he’ll always support your relationship with someone else if that’s what’ll make you happy.

Hello! Sorry if you've answered this before but: 'How's Lee related to us? Though which momma? And does she share our player-chosen last names? Also, do you know if Noelani took Pam's last name or did it happen the other way round? 

She’s related to Pamela and Pamela’s last name is the one they use, so the MC has the same last name as Lee.

Will we be able to choose which (they or he) we tend to call Qiu by more often, or will it randomly change depending on the moment? 

Qiu knows which pronoun they’re comfortable with at a time and you’ll call them what they’re happy with. And it doesn’t change between lines, it takes multiple scenes or even full Steps for it to switch. So for extended periods Qiu will be totally a guy or fully agender.

Will Step 4 of OL2 have moments?

It’ll be an epilogue like it is in OL1, so it won’t have a bunch of different Moments.

Hello! Just a quick question, is Sunset bird from OL1 based on a real location? If so what's it called? I wanna visit it +_+

ps i love your games so much <3

It isn’t based on one specific town you can go to, but there are a lot of little coastal towns in Cali that have a similar vibe!

Heyaaa ( I hope you're all well ), umm… it might seem kinda stupid to ask but did Patreon members can have a key for the dlc's ( all the steps-released dlc ) even if they became a member this month or later ? (me? saying this cuz it's my case? maybe ;-;), and once again thanks for absolutely all the amazing works on all the games ! u-u 

You wouldn’t get the DLCs for backing there. The Patreon is for extra bonus content/early access, rather than being a storefront to purchase the normal DLCs. Rarely we give them out as a side gift, but it hardly happens and if what you want is the DLCs it’s best to ignore the Patreon and  buy keys for those directly from Itch or Steam. I’m sorry for the confusion.

Hey y'all, love what youre doing w/Terry. Trans rep outside of player customization is so rare and important to see more of so thank you so much. I do have a question and its that does he have a canon sexuality? I know Miranda was said to be straight ace but I dont believe anything was stated for Terry probably because he wasnt revealed to be a guy which changes things. Im also curious if well get answers on how long hes liked Miranda since he may have liked her in step 3 before she liked him 

Terry likes women and Randy likes men! And he did like Miranda back in Step 3.

Will the Wedding Dlc release at the same time as Step 4? 

They’ll come out separately with Step 4 releasing first.

I really love Our Life so much! I've spent over 20hours playing it even though I only got it a week ago! I was wondering if I could make a fangame for Our Life with a different love interest but same plot. Next-door neighbors romance, multiple steps, etc? I'll probably make it on Google Slides though- 

Sure! I hope you have fun with it and I’m glad you love the game.

How does Cove feel about poly relationships? 

He’s got nothing against them for the people they work for, but he’s 100% monogamous and would only be comfortable with a partner who was willing to be monogamous with him.

Idk if this has been answered before but will Step 4 include the option to advance your feelings towards Cove? 

Yep, you’ll be able to determine your feelings and what your relationship is.

In step 4 will there be a chosen to say we live with Cove even as just friends? 

Yeah, you can choose to live with Cove and that can be done when you’re friends.

I just played the game with the MC and Cove being best friends and omg it’s still so damn cute like the wholesomeness of it all is too much for my heart I swear ^.^  Now with that all said I was wondering can we still marry Cove? if we only love him as a friend like let’s say we’ve made deal with him similar to the one we can make with Derek because let’s real no one could compete with what the MC and Cove have even if they aren’t in love. 

It’s great to hear you enjoyed the friendship story! You can live with Cove, but you can’t marry him platonically. Cove has familial affection for the MC if they’re best-est friends. He wouldn’t think to marry someone he loves like family and even grew up with as though they truly were siblings.

Are you still going to be making a DLC for XOBD? :] 

Yes! We’re slowing adding voiced lines and fixing errors.

It makes me laugh that Shiloh's last name is Fields because that's what I put as my last name! So in Our Life when he talked about "Ms. Fields" picking him up I was extremely confused, lol. That dude mimics personalities so much that he stole my surname!

Oh, wow, that’s a very funny coincidence, haha.

hi !! i cant seem to be able to get the scene where mc is able to propose to cove despite being at the 'love' stage and telling him i'd want to get married, are there any other details that im missing out on? the options just dont appear at the end... 

Maybe you missed telling Cove you were in love with him even if you mentioned wanting to get married or you might’ve accidentally said earlier in the game that you don’t want to progress your relationship further with Cove. We haven’t removed them, so you can get the scene again. It’s just kind of easy to miss since there’s multiple requirements. You can read a little guide in the FAQ.

wait what di you need to do to be able to propose to cove? I've been trying but haven't had much luck 

You can check out the FAQ linked above!

does cove only develop a crush on the mc if the mc is also at crush/in love with him? 

Technically, yes. We treat the non-romantic relationship options as truly non-romantic since we don’t want to bait and switch people. But there’s nothing wrong with headcanoning that Cove does have feelings developing for the MC even before the MC has.

Is there a way to make/allow Lee and Baxter to date?

No, they just don’t have enough time together.

We also got a group of asks related to Tamarack in OL2, but I’m afraid the way they talked about people with larger bodies made me not want to post their words, even if the person didn’t say they’re trying to be hurtful. I will separate out the core question and answer it though, so people can know that info.

Does Tamarack lose weight in later Steps?

No, she doesn’t. As for the other questions included, to be honest, I don’t have to explain/defend having romance options of different sizes. I’m sorry if you’re dealing with unhappiness that’s connected to body image, if that’s where the negative emotions are coming from, but even so I can’t meet you on that level and pretend it’s a problem that needs an answer. A girl who simply isn’t thin being a main love interest is just not an unreasonable concept. Also, Tamarack isn’t a lesbian. Yes, she can date a female MC, but that doesn’t undo her actual sexuality, so I’m not sure where that one part at the end was coming from.

I wonder... can we "fight" with Qiu over leader status? 👀

Not really, haha. No matter how cool your MC is, they’re never gonna replace Qiu for the other kids around. So you can either partner up with him, follow him too, or not be a part of all that group politics stuff.

So when I play the game, sometimes I mentally call Cove “Covie/Covey” and that made me wonder, how does Cove feel about being nicknamed? Not like Romeo/Space Cadet/etc. but like pet names relating to his actual name

It’d depend on his age, personality, and your relationship with him! When he’s younger he’d probably be embarrassed, when he was grown he’d probably be more casual or happy about it.

will you be able to date baxter in step 3 while at crush with cove (but not dating him ofc) sorry if this has been asked already. i really love baxters step 4 design btw!! 

Yeah, you can be crushing on Cove and date Baxter if you weren’t already dating Cove. You just can’t be truly in love with Cove and then switch to Baxter.

I just got my friend into our life, and they adore shiloh and derek sooo will there be more of them in the second game? 

I’m afraid not. But you can see plenty more of Shiloh in XOXO Droplets/XOXO Blood Droplets, haha.

I see you haven't gotten any xoxo droplets asks recently but I'm still obsessed with these boys!! I was just wondering if Nate would curse under any circumstance? 

Yeah, Nate does use certain swear words (damn, hell, bastard) on very rare occasions.

Hi there! I have a question about the wedding dlc. Will we be able to plan a honeymoon during the planning stages of it or would it be something that Cove and the mc would rather plan later on? Thank you! Absolutly love the game by the way, definitely one of my favorite games! 

The focus will be on the wedding day itself. The topic of the honeymoon might come up a bit, but there won’t be any choosing of the exact location and such.

Hi! I have two questions and it's completely understandable if you only answer one/neither and I'm sorry if you've already answered either before! First, is there a set year in which OL:B&A takes place (ex: Step 1 being set in 2010 & Step 2 being set in 2016, etc.) or is it simply up to interpretation? Second, have you guys thought about doing a coming-of-age game where the MC has a tough home life or upbringing? (like one of their parents is an addict, a parent being transphobic whilst the player has the option to be trans, or having friends that are influencing them to do drugs, etc.) That's all! Thanks for making beautiful games. <3 

There is a set timeline!

Step 1: 2006 Step 2: 2011 Step 3: 2016 Step 4: 2021 

And we don’t currently plan on making a game like that. The Our Life series exists to be a safer environment for people to play around in and if we did do a brand new series that was harsher edged it’d be something more fantastical and/or plot-driven instead of a different type of modern day slice-of-life growing up story. I’m sorry.

i don’t know if you’ve already answered this, but do you have a guess on when phase 4 will come out? as well as ol2? i’m so excited for both of them, the inclusivity in this game is amazing, you guys should be really proud of it! 

Step 4 will be coming out very soon! OL2 is gonna take until 2023 to be anywhere near completion. But we might episodically release the Steps one at a time as they get done instead of waiting for three to be finished before launch like we did with the first game.

Hello, I was curious if there was an official or unofficial discord server for the game? 

We do have a discord! You can join by clicking this link HERE.

how long do you plan to keep ol's patreon running? 

Hopefully for at least a few more years.

Are you considering ever making merch? 

Yeah, but I don’t know when it’ll happen or what exactly we’ll make, aha. It’s something we want do, just nothing is set.

hi! i just found out about your game a couple of days ago on tiktok (so sorry if you’ve already answered this question) and i was wondering if y’all are ever planning to release it on iOS? 

I have no idea. It’s hard for a small group to get Apple approval and I honestly can’t say if it’ll ever happen or not. Maybe someday, though!

Hi, I love the art style of Our life and I would like to know if the artist has a Twitter? Also, could it be possible to fund more CGs for the game from him/her? So many times, I wish there was one like when the cutscene of the sunshower. 

That’s nice of you to offer. He doesn’t have a Twitter, at least not one that’s public enough to be shared with me. And I’m afraid not. The issue is that the CGs take huge amounts of time rather than there not being a budget for it. He’s gotta make CGs for Step 4, the DLCs, and new character sprites, too. There isn’t space in the schedule for even more. Sorry for that.

Hi, how are you?!

Are you planning on accepting new writers or is it always the same people who write your stories??

Thanks!!

Our Life: Beginnings & Always won’t be getting new writers, but we will be hiring a new team of writers for Our Life: Now & Forever eventually!

perhaps this counts as nsfw and I'm sure it has been answered before but what does Cove prefer, chests/boobs or butts? or perhaps both :3c thank you for this wonderful game (and the patreon bonus moment, it was worth all the waiting and more ♥) 

He’s a “chests of all shapes and sizes” kind of guy, haha.

i was wondering- did any of the writers actually grow up by the beach? as someone who's lived in a beach town all their life it really did feel nostalgic to play through our life 1 

I was born and raised in Cali! Though, not right by the beach. We still had to make trips out, but the setting is based on my own childhood memories of small beach towns we went through.

In Derek’s upcoming DLC, will we be able to reference the pact we made as teens? (love olba and xod/xobd so much btw you’re literally amazing) 

Yep, you will be able to talk about that!

Oh, sorry about the Cole being secretly L ask, then!

If you wanted context: Death Note is about this one guy who finds a notebook that kills anyone who you write the name of in there. The guy eventually develops a God Complex and starts mass killing criminals and stuff. L is the one trying to find out who is killing all these people.

Me and my sister first joked about it because I couldn't remember how to translate a word about the way Cove was sitting, so I just did the pose, and it looked a lot like how L himself sits! Then we just snowballed from there, with more and more nonsense connections.

That’s okay! Thanks for explaining. I’m sorry I didn’t know what you meant.

[1dmonthlyficroundup]

1D Monthly Fic Roundup

Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for August 2021! Below you’ll find 23 One Direction fics that were all published this month in the order they were submitted to the blog. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup​.

Happy reading!

He Carries The Key by @lululawrence

[Niall/Louis, OT5, 8k, Not Rated, tumblr post]

Niall was mostly home, ready for a shower and a chat with Louis, when suddenly Niall was flooded with emotions from the pack bond.Shock. Surprise. Confusion.But mostly fear.Something was wrong with Louis.

Plus One by mynameispiaivy / @missrefridgefreetorator

[Louis/Luke Malak, 3k, Mature, tumblr post]

Louis is invited to an event and he has to bring a "plus one".

Better Mistakes by lovelarry10 / @chloehl10

[Harry/Louis, 117k, Explicit, tumblr post]

“Look, this doesn’t have to be the end of the world-”

“Oh but it fucking is,” Louis said, shaking his head. “How the fuck am I going to tell Matt I’m pregnant with a baby when we’ve not had sex in months? He might be a bit thick sometimes, but he is gonna know there’s no chance this baby is his.”

“You don’t have to, uh, tell him it’s mine, right?”

Louis scoffed. “Why, are you scared he’s gonna come and kick the shit out of you?”

“He wishes,” Harry laughed, looking back down at the test. “Shit, I … I can’t believe this. Louis, I didn’t mean for this. Honestly. It was just sex for me. We have great sex, and I didn’t see why I should have to turn that down, not when you clearly wanted it as much as I did. I didn’t want this to end in a baby.”

Louis knows he shouldn’t be sleeping with his boyfriend’s enemy. He knows that. But there’s something that draws him back to Harry over and over again. Falling in love wasn’t part of the plan...

Thou, Sun, Art Half As Happy by @lululawrence

[Louis/Harry/Nick Grimshaw, 7k, Not Rated, tumblr post]

Hello, I’m sorry if this isn’t a post that is allowed on this channel, but I was hoping for the best since it is regarding a photography project I’m working on at the moment. I’m working on a set of sunrise kiss photos and therefore am needing a willing kissing partner. I’d hoped to be able to provide one for myself, but it hasn’t panned out, so here I am! I was hoping to find someone here, since I know most of you (at least peripherally) and can generally vouch for you not being creeps. Plus this way I know you will understand needing to continue to tweak the camera settings and reshoots etc that others might not.

Anyway, I’m looking for someone who identifies as male or male-ish (sorry, ladies) who is between the ages of 18 and 40. I’m a 29 year old male-ish myself, for those who would like to know before replying.

If you’re interested and are free the early morning of August 7th and would like to kiss in the sunrise with me for the sake of some (hopefully) interesting and fun photos, let me know via DM and I’ll give you the location.

OR the one where Louis needs a kissing partner, two show up, and it all might turn out for the best that way.

call my name and save me from the dark by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed / we_are_the_same

[Louis/Harry, 4k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

“I don’t know if it was a nightmare,” he confesses to the ceiling, the darkness making it easier to speak up even when he still has to close his eyes to stop himself from tearing up. “It feels more like a memory. But it can’t be.”

Harry shifts, and Louis can feel his chin perched on his chest, doesn’t need to look at him to know that Harry’s studying him. “Why?” He prompts, when Louis doesn’t immediately continue, and Louis swallows, tries to shrug off the apprehension, the fear that Harry will think that he’s gone mad.

“Because I heard them pronounce me dead.”

Feels like home by @neondiamond

[Louis/Harry, 2k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Louis comes home from work with an exciting surprise. Daydreaming and celebrations ensue.

this is my jam by @disgruntledkittenface

[Harry/Louis, 4k, Mature, tumblr post]

The guy’s eyes are so blue that Harry can’t tear his gaze away, even as he moves to the beat. The searing light shade is magnetic; he finds himself leaning in and yelling, “This is my jam!” only to earn a laugh from thin pink lips that Harry’s definitely going to be dreaming about tonight.

“Your jam?”

When the guy yells back over the music, his blue eyes sparkling and his lips twisted in a smirk, Harry’s chest literally puffs out with pride at earning his attention. His obvious approval. Tongue-tied, Harry nods and closes his eyes as he lets go, the music reverberating around them. All of the usual inhibitions that keep him in the corner at parties fall away and he bounces around the center of the dance floor, waving his arms above his head. Somehow his towel stays on, even as he starts to think he wouldn’t mind if it fell off. Fuck it. He finally made it here, he’s damn well going to enjoy it.

Harry goes to a gay bathhouse for the first time. 90s AU.

I Know My Arithmedick (2 + 2 = 4sum) by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

[Harry/Louis + Louis/multiple partners, 3k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Harry wants to watch Louis fuck someone else. Louis loves giving Harry what he wants. It’s simple math, really.

doG…and his friend by @uhoh-but-yeah-alright / yeah_alright

[Louis/Harry, 3k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

When Joan has to move out of her small, nice home and in with a random roommate, she obviously brings her dog/boyfriend, Doug, with her.

Doug makes a friend. And maybe more.

I Heard You Talking by @lululawrence

[Louis/Harry, 10k, Not Rated, tumblr post]

It had been an hour of their noise that Louis had been dealing with, and for some reason the fact that these grown men were being this rowdy in the quiet carriage over a game of Uno was the breaking point for him. He stood up and turned around, making his way down to where the group of five were somehow gathered around a table.

Louis stopped at the table and cleared his throat, mouth open and ready to politely request they keep it down when the man who was sitting with his back to Louis turned.

He was stunningly gorgeous.

Blinking a ridiculous number of times in an attempt to pull himself together, Louis coughed and spit out, “This is the quiet carriage.”

God, he was nearly forty and that was the best he could do in front of a set of pretty, green eyes?

Or the one where Harry is famous and Louis doesn't have a clue. Good thing his son is able to help him out.

All That You Need by @haztobegood

[Louis/Harry, 2k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Pre-heat was always one of Harry’s favorite times to spend with Louis. It was a time to rest up and indulge in extra cuddles, like basking in a ray of sunshine before having to dive off the deep end. Louis lavishes him with tender touches and soft kisses. Harry wants to savor this time as long as possible. The unquenchable need will come later, but for now, his desires are simple. He just needed to be closer to his alpha. As close as possible.

sickly sweet fonding by amomentoflove / @daggerandrose

[Louis/Harry, 1k, General, tumblr post]

A few members of their crew start piling up the dirty dishes and taking them over to the sink. Harry walks around the cameras, and smiles brightly at Louis.

“What do you think, Lou? Do I have it in the bag?”

Louis eyes a bowl of bright pink lumpy batter being cleaned from Harry’s side. “Of course you do.” He wraps an arm around Harry’s waist and steers him away, all while ignoring the dramatic gagging Niall is doing. He doesn’t think it’s just the batter making Niall gag.

or the one where Louis fonds over Harry's horrible baking skills

Fractured Moonlight by amomentoflove / @daggerandrose

[Louis/Harry, 1k, Mature, tumblr post]

Louis huffs because he doesn’t want to deal with this. “Listen, I appreciate your concern.” He doesn’t. “But it’s not your duty to look after the sad man at the bar. Okay?”

'Ere comes the milk by stretchmybones / @onlyfor-thegays

[Harry/Louis, 1k, Explicit]

Louis is obsessed with Harry's mommy milkers.

everything comes back to you by stretchmybones / @onlyfor-thegays

[Louis/Harry, 8k, Explicit]

Harry and Louis are childhood best friends. What happens when Harry has to move towns just as they are starting their secondary gender presentations? What happens when fate brings them back together years later in the most unexpected of ways?

He Still Takes My Breath Away by @parmahamlarrie

[Harry/Louis, 32k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

Camp Infinity is the perfect place for a lot of things; hiking, swimming, sports, eating, and falling in love. Harry Styles is a bit too familiar with the last one from his years of being a camper. This year things will be different. He’s 21, a grown man now, and ready to see Camp Infinity from a different point of view; working as a lifeguard. However, his whole summer turns upside down when a familiar British lad makes his return into Harry's life.Or the one where Harry is a lifeguard and Louis is the head of recreation. And, sometimes, you just need a little push to realize what was right in front of you the whole time.

Also known as – The Summer Camp Fic

tread lightly on my ground by fairytalelights / @lookslikefairytale

[Louis/Harry, 20k, Explicit, tumblr post]

No, that's the tragic part of this, the part that makes Harry feel like the universe is playing a cruel joke on him. The father of his baby is exactly right, exactly who he always imagined himself having kids with. He just imagined them married, bonded. Happy. He didn't imagine them barely talking, tip-toeing around each other because neither of them is brave enough to talk about what happened between them. He didn't imagine the father of his child not loving him back.

or, the one where Harry is having Louis' baby, but Louis doesn't know it's his.

Getting a Head for Heights by @ladyaj-13 / LadyAJ_13

[Louis/Greg James, 3k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

The problem is, Louis thinks Greg would be quite good to date, so it would really help if everyone would stop reminding him of that fact so he could unthink it. He’d be a gentleman, at least until Louis talked him out of it, and he’s funny and nice and hot and they’re both into music and football and drama. He’s also a freakish giant of a human, and the problem with dating is that sooner or later you have to stand next to each other.

We Go Together (series) by @beelou / cherrylarry

[Louis/Harry, 3k, General, tumblr post]

A grease au

Hot Boy Summer (series) by @louisandtheaquarian / zita17

[Harry/Louis, 35k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

Louis is an overworked bartender hoping to save up enough extra tips to buy a new air conditioner before he literally melts during a scorching NYC heat wave. Harry is the new neighbor that wakes him up by moving in his sole day off at 6am. An NYC enemies to neighbors to lovers AU featuring a rickety fire escape, the 2021 Euros, Lirry bickering like a divorced couple, and enough OT5 clichés to rot your teeth. (If Harry's pastries don't get them first.)

across the river is where my heart is by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Louis/Harry, 8k, General, tumblr post]

The first time they see each other is when they are toddlers, playing out in the yard. Louis remembers sitting on the perfectly trimmed lawn and getting yelled at for picking at the soft blades of grass; she remembers looking over, across the narrow but deep and wild river, and watching another little girl, out in a different garden, picking flowers for her mother.

She remembers carefully raising her hand and waving—her little heart beating hard in her chest, as if she had done something dangerous, something forbidden, even though back then she could not understand the true divide the River made amongst them.

bright eyes, blue denim by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Louis/Harry, 2k, General, tumblr post]

Louis' favourite jeans have suddenly disappeared from where he always got them. Harry is a store manager with an affinity for customer care, particularly when the customer has bright blue eyes and happens to be very flirty.

whatever you feel like doing in this moment by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Harry/Louis, 2k, General, tumblr post]

Louis gets all that he's ever wanted during his favourite game at their group's weekly improv show.

[midnight-in-town]

Hello Midnight! Your cats are so cute, what are their names? Thank you for sharing 💕

Hello Anon! Oh wow, thank you. <3 I’ll tell them, haha! 

I got both from the same benevolent association, which I thank for their highly dedicated work towards all the animals in need, as well as for keeping in touch with the animals’ owners, after adoption.

This below is Rény.

I got her last August, so it’s been almost a year and she’s a year and a few months old (no one is sure of when she’s born exactly, but probably around March 2020). <3 

As you can see, she’s a one-eyed, because of hardcore cat flu when she was a baby living in Guadeloupe’s streets with her mom and brothers. When I first got her after she arrived in Paris’ region and was taken care of by her second foster family, she looked all weak and sickly, having had to take lots of antibiotics after her eye surgery and barely being able to eat.

Because of this, she’s very sensitive when it comes to food and she was very sick last October, until I managed to find what food she could tolerate. 

Now she’s an adult and she’s doing mostly okay. Sometimes her valid eye gets sick, so I have to be extra careful with plants or when she’s playing with the kitten. Also she’s got an eating disorder, because she had trouble being able to eat enough when she was a sick kitten (that’s why she’s so petite), so now she’s constantly scared not to have enough food. 

The other day, as I was checking for when to get her shots done this year, I found some written words by the first foster family that took her in from the streets and gave her that lovely name, saying stuff about how she went through a lot and clearly needed time to get close to humans, but she was super sweet and never aggressive, so they hoped someone would give her a chance and adopt her.

Never had these issues myself, because her two foster families took good care of her and taught her to trust in humans, buuut I’m biased because I’m clearly the only person she currently responds to (she’s very vocal and affectionate). We were very close very fast when I got her, which is super nice, but as long as I’m around, she won’t try to open up to other people or animals (literally ignoring them but following me around everywhere), so I decided to take another cat, to help her socialize. 

That’s how I got Siem, who’s almost 5 months old now, in the pictures below.

2021 is a tough year for benevolent animal associations, at least in France, because the number of mom cats giving birth on the streets is very high. So they ended up with idk how many kittens in need of care, as well as finding owners for them and the moms. 

(In fact, if you who’s reading live in France and are interested in adopting a cat or simply helping these associations, I am following several and all of them are drowning in kitten care, so please don’t hesitate to support them! Also if you ever get a cat or a kitten, please remember it’s important to neuter them when they’re old enough, for their health and to control their high reproductive rate.) 

Anyway, Siem is one of these kittens. Her mama gave birth on the cold streets in February 2021 and the lil family was taken in by people who would take care of them. Mama was very scared of humans at first, but the foster family helped a lot (and she recently got adopted too, I was very happy). 

Back then, I had mentioned to the association that I wanted a cat to help Rény socialize while showing interest in some black cats of the same age (because black animals are less adopted than non-black ones, I’m not even kidding) and they asked me if I wanted to take in a kitten, so that Rény would not feel threatened on her territory, since she used to be a bit harassed by her siblings as a sick kitten.

I went to see Siem’s family and ended up choosing her because she was the smallest & youngest one, with very big eyes and short hair, which I found lovely. I named her after Siem Reap, a beautiful city of Cambodia leading to the Angkor temples that I very much enjoyed exploring.

Needless to say, things did not go well at first between them, haha. I mean, poor Rény looked at me as if I had stabbed her, she was shaking so much when I first brought back the kitten at the end of April. But, in comparison to Rény who was a sick kitten, healthy little Siem lived with 4 siblings, her mom and at least another older cat in her foster family, so she knew by heart what socializing meant and playing games around Rény (in the innocent and silly ways kittens live their life) helped them get along after only a few days.

Now they live peaceful days, playing and sleeping with each other. :)) Side note, but if anything Siem is the one who got wilder by being with Rény, instead of Rény opening up to people who are not me. xDDD 

Cannot tell you how many “it’s a bad idea” opinions I heard though, “because Rény is too difficult so she won’t tolerate it, they won’t get along and you’ll be stuck with a second cat”, so much that I ended keeping it a secret from most people and then I sent photos of them getting along to the ones who stomped all over my confidence. :)))

I honestly think people’s prejudice with cats (being selfish, using you, being too independent to be good pets) stand from never owning one and being bitter that they cannot pet other people’s cats. Then again, as my vet says “how would you react if a random dude you didn’t know hugged you in the subway? ». xDDD Personally I can not do a single thing at home without one of them keeping me company (Siem is sleeping next to me as I am writing this), so I really don’t get people’s weird ideas about cats.

Anyway, they’re very cute and I love them! 

Aaaand, I just realized that you only asked for their names.... but I ended up rambling for ten years, sorry Anon! xDD I guess adopting these cats represent the biggest and most independent decisions I took for myself as an adult so far and I will stand proudly by these choices, which is probably why I had a lot to say about them. 

TL;DR If you read this very long post and are interested in adopting an animal on your own, please do so knowing that they will definitely ask you time, money and a lot of patience (especially kittens++++ they do a lot of stupid things and they need time to learn to understand what you allow and what you don’t). Do not adopt animals if you’re not sure you’ll be able to take care of them properly for many years to come. 

Rény, Siem and I wish you a nice day Anon! Take care!

[putschki1969]

「Wakana Botanical Land “Music Party Vol.2"」 Live Report/Commentary

Don’t forget to tune in to today’s event! A live stream option IS AVAILABLE for these two fan club exclusive performances. There is STILL time to buy a ticket so be sure to use that chance! If you can’t watch it live today, you can rely on the archived version which will be uploaded after the event and is available until June 6! (Tweet by Wakana staff)

EVENT DETAILS (find ALL details and a tutorial HERE): ■ May 29, 2021  ◇ Day performance Open 14:15 Start 15:00 (JST) ◇ Night performance Open 17:15 Start 18:00 (JST)

Note: I will try my best to do a live commentary/first reaction kind of thing so this post will be updated as the day goes by. I really hope they have fixed the streaming problems they had last time with the Spring Shark Festival. It worked fine once they got it working but it took quite a while to get there. They don’t have that luxury today since there is an on-site audience, it’s pretty much impossible to delay the performance should any streaming issues arise. On a side note, I am keeping my expectations low as far as the audio-quality is concerned but we will see, maybe it’s good. Without further ado, let’s get to it!

Live Commentary

Okay, it’s about to start, there are some weird noises in my headphones but it’s manageable. Otherwise, it works totally fine! I think they fixed the weird noise issue for the evening performance. Haven’t heard it yet. Video/stream-quality is perfect for me (no freeze so far), they have a few different angles which I appreciate. A bit of shaky-cam here and there but nothing too bad. I feel like they improved quite a bit on the camera work for the evening performance. Sound is also surprisingly good.

Setlist

Happy Hello Day: The atmosphere is already so nice, everyone is clapping enthusiastically. I love it! The arrangement with piano and guitar is perfect for this song. Poor Wakana forgot the lyrics though so they had to start again. Awww, so precious, I wanna cuddle her already! Loved the “lalala” at the end! No mistakes for her night performance. Everything went smoothly. I feel like the atmosphere is a bit more toned down compared to the day performance.

瑠璃色の空 / Ruriiro no Sora (DAY): Okay, I have never really liked this song but this acoustic version is actually pretty nice. I may have actually become a fan! :P Thank you Wakana, for this beautiful rendition. Hard Rain (NIGHT): YESSSSS! So much win! While I didn’t mind this version of Ruriiro no Sora, I MUCH prefer Hard Rain.

ひらりひらり / Hirari Hirari: Not my favourite of the “magic moment” album but I really enjoy listening to the live version like this.

442: OMG, I am already blown away! This IS SO GOOD!!!! The live version (especially with this acoustic arrangement) is a REVELATION, everyone needs to listen to it! I am so glad we are also getting this on the Blu-ray this summer!

Talk Corner: Awww, once again Wakana embarrasses herself by introducing her host Bunta Nagamatsu with the wrong name. Seeing her this flustered is super cute but on the other hand, I feel sorry for her T_T They are answering some of the simple/casual questions that fan club members were able to submit in advance. It was interesting to find out that she stretches for quite a long of them a few hours before a live and that she carries pretty much all of her belongings in her bag on a performance day XD Will be summarising them properly once we get the archived version. They are using different questions for the evening performance! YAY! At the end they are demonstrating their kendama skills but Wakana fails to catch the ball the first two times but then on the third try, SUCCESS! She is so happy! At the evening performance she looked like she pulled a muscle doing the trick but yay, she managed to catch the ball on her first try

海を見ていた午後 / Umi wo miteita gogo: Yuming-cover chosen for Takebe-san due to a connection. They picked this song because it features places in Yokohama (today’s live is taking place in Yokohama). Too short but very nice. Not a particularly big fan of the voice she uses for the song though.

アイノカタチ / Ai no Katachi: Misia-cover chosen for Ishinari-san due to a connection. His guitar playing is actually featured in the original recording of the song. Wakana also sang this in one of her fan club videos (where she did her nails). Wahhhh, I am in love!! Such a beautiful cover! This hit me right in the feels, even more so the second time around! *bursts into tears*

I have a dream: Kalafina-cover chosen for Wakana due to a connection. *sobs* Ahhhhhh, this is beautiful. I have no words. Not all Kalafina songs work as a solo song but this one certainly does. Wakana nailed it!! That Kajiura-go part!! Btw, random question for everyone who has been watching the stream, where is that drum/percussion-like sound coming from? It’s noticable in almost all songs but it’s obviously not coming from the piano or guitar. Just curious since I am not an expert on that kind of stuff so I wouldn’t know what tools they have to create this sort of sound without an actual drum set or whatever. Thanks to @sa-nyan for replying, it is INDEED Ishinari using some sort of pedal.

翼 / Tsubasa: Oh wow, already digging the acoustic arrangement. Can I just say how much I appreciate it that Wakana has two super talented and passionate musicians on her side. She deserves to be accompanied by the best. This is one of Wakana’s oldest solo songs so you can tell she is very sure of herself, no hesitation whatsoever, just powerful vocals. Perfection!

恋はいつも / Koi wa Itsumo: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! You all know this is one of my faves so I couldn’t be happier!! Wakana showing the audience how to clap :P SO CUTE! I can’t clap in rhythm for the life of me so I am kinda glad I am not there to embarrass myself :P Too bad the audience was able to sing along this time (probably because of COVID regulations). A little lyric slip-up at the beginnging but Wakana dealt with it professionally.

ENCORE: 金木犀 / Kinmokusei: Ohhhhhhh! And another one of my all-time faves!! Such a good setlist!! As always, beautiful!

ENCORE: あとひとつ / Ato hitotsu: Wakana explains the reason why this hasn’t been released on CD yet. She wants it to be a special experience that is reserved for live performances. She feels this exclusivity is nice. The PERFECT ending just like every other time she sings it.

DAY: Wakana is wearing a lovely salmon/orange/pink (?) coloured toga/tunic-sort of dress. She looks so pretty! It’s off-shoulder (always the best look for her!) and there is a white skirt layered underneath. There is also some binding around her waist. her hair is in an elaborate up-do. NIGHT: She changed into a lovely wide blue gown which goes well with the evening flair. Her hair is in a cute high ponytail. She is wearing her clear chain earrings again.

During the first MC of the day performance Wakana is already getting carried away talking about this and that so Takebe-san has to remind her they are on a tight schedule. XD At the end of the live Wakana announced an online release event for her Blu-ray. It’s gonna take place on August 21. The after-talk is now available. They filmed it after the evening performances answering a few more fan questions.

The archive videos for the day and night performance are already available! Please enjoy!

Be sure to fill in the survey to let Wakana and her team know how you felt about the event!! There will also be a Bokutachi no VOICE thread to share your impressions!

[hotarutranslations]

Thank You, 2020!!

Evening Its Ishida Ayumi

Its New Years Eve

the last day for '20

the 3 performances for Countdown Live are over

Its been a while,

Since all of us were on stage singing and dancing,

It was super fun

Our turn itself was limited but

There was no screen behind the stage, All of the fans couldn't call out, While thinking, they're watching us move in earnest--

It felt really good like, Lets Move!!!

This year,

I posted on Instagram, dance videos that a lot of people watched,

After that,

When dancing with Morning like that,

I was a bit nervous.....

the dances were completely different though right

I wanted to do it nicely!!!

Junjou Evidence and, Gyuusaretai Dake Na No Ni,

it was our debut performance in from of an audience

thank you very much

Countdown Live, and the live stream and viewing too,

thank you for your support!!

Lets look back on the year on this blog

Every month... went by fastttt

How was it for everyone, Please by all means read while looking back on things

At the beginning of 2020, for the Countdown Live 2nd part,

Kudo Haruka-chan appeared,

and sang~ "Mr. Moonlight ~Ai No Big Band~"

She was nervous when starting to sing~

Well! January, I had my 23rd birthday!

I tried a one man play for the first time at my birthday event

Some people told me that they cried... something like that, I thought 'I want to do a play!' I challenged it, although it was a project, that was just for me alone? The reactions that were returned that enjoyed it, it really gave me confidence

Thank you

This years goals, I want do to something! I want it to be interesting! I want to challenge it!

is how it was

Since it was unintentionally a year like this, it inevitably was a new year, I was able to take on various challenges!

Therefore, one way or another,

I think I had fun

In February there was the "Hello Pro Dance Academy" recording and the "RAGAZZE! ~Shoujotachi yo!~" recording, from that point on, we started doing things without an audience......

Thats right, it was still in February......

Looking at the schedule for March, all of the plans for the weekends had an X, the individual handshake events, and what was supposed to be our first day of the spring tour----

Yeah

We were working a lot on the rehearsals in March!

That song, and that song, and that song, I wanted to sing them---!

But, from the announcement that was couldn't have the first day, videos from the rehearsal were uploaded on YouTube

In the MC of that video,

I said for the first time that I liked the YouTuber Kajisak-san,

All of the fans, took the trouble to tell them

Kajisak-san also responded,

I was happy...

In a good sense it is a memory of me feeling anxious

In April through SNS, trying to do what we can, we were desperate! Ah, but we got to have fun!

"Pop Music"'s dance Looking at it now, it was released on April 1st

lol

lol

lol

In May I did a ton of Instalives!!!!

With Suzuki Airi-san, Alone and, With DA PUMP's TOMO-san!

Ah, it was 3 times

I really remember those~

I'm sorry ← for the Instalives with bad connections←

In June work was gradually coming back, we had planned a "SoloFest!" I got to challenge a performance while playing both the male and female role!

I also got to challenge that

For some reason I was really scared of challenging this but,

I! am glad I did it! I think!

In July we started the ballad concerts Also, we started having individual events while wearing masks

we also had the petit cafe~

I like Fruits Basket (anime)!!!!

I was even called on to, "AniRecoTV"'s studio again!!!!

Happiness!!!!

In August we went to local areas for concerts But, there were still many days off......

Rockin'......

I wanted to go！！！！！！！！！！！！！

In September with additional songs for ballads, we started the fall concerts with smaller groups

In the time that I had free, I would try to do what I could, I thought this while looking through my planner, thats great, lets do our best

On "Konya Kurabetemimashita",

there was as special feature on women who love Morning Musume too much <3

Also the next week,

3 o'clock Heroine's Fukuda-san said, that they liked my dancing <3

They introduced me

Really, I'm thankful...... <3

In October I got to appear on THE! Quiz Iwakan, I'm super happy about that

We also had a Budokan performance

I got to sing "Yume wo Akiramenaide", I look back a ton on the photo of me being surrounded 360 degrees with blue penlights That made me happy

In November towards the release of our new songs, we got to do various TV recordings and the like, but really, I wanted to do even more work~

It was a month where I felt frustration like that

We also went to Budokan in December, Funa-chan and Karin-chan graduated, we also released our new songs, also I was busy preparing for the end of the year concert, it was dense

I was happy to spend time with so much going on...

yeah

It was like I couldn't do anything,

but conversely I think it was a year I was able to do various things

I also had fun this year

There were painful and tough things too, there may have been various things like that,

I think it was like that for a lot of people

Even now the situation is still ongoing

But, I don't want to think that 2020 was a waste, as there were also a lot of fun things, and I'm happy I was able to challenge things,

I want to cherish such memories

I'm glad that everyone greeted the new year-!!!!

Fukumura-san, Yokoyan,

I'm really glad <3

Tonight we'll be performing,

"CDTV Live! Live! New Years Eve Special 2020→2021"

Here, these 2 weren't able to perform at the time of the prerecording. I'm sorry. Although its 12 people, please watch over us.

We're scheduled to appear from 12:00AM~1:00AM

Well then everyone

Ah, its lonely

2020, really thank you very much lets meet again next year with more smiles

Please have a good year <3

see you ayumin <3

https://ameblo.jp/morningmusume-10ki/entry-12647364171.html

[theycallmebeccawrites]

Adventures in Parenting - Chris & Nikki Q&A

With Tumblr holding my original writing blog @beccaheartschrisevans captive (aka flagged as explicit), I have made a secondary writing blog and may end up closing the other all together. In the meantime, I am reposting all of my stories on my new blog.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Nikki Evans (OFC) Rating: PG-13 Warnings: language? Summary: A “podcast transcript” of a Q&A with Chris & Nikki set in February 2021.

Adventures in Parenting (Chris & Nikki) Masterlist

Chris & Nikki Q&A (February 2021)

Please note this is written as if it were a blog post with a podcast transcript.

February 17, 2021

Hello my fellow mommies and daddies! I have an extra special treat for you all today! My best friend/sister-in-law, Nikki, and her husband, Chris, have agreed to take part in an extra special podcast right here on my parenting blog!

So what is so special about my fabulous sister- and brother-in-law? Well she is a hot momma of three of the cutest kids on planet earth (joined by my little ones, of course) and he is Captain America…. Or rather, he played Captain America in the Marvel Cinematic Universe for 8 years.

I have been trying to get Nikki to take part in a podcast since I started doing them last year and I finally convinced her to sit down with me this past weekend. Originally it was just going to be the two of us, but then our husbands caught wind of it and decided they wanted to take part as well.

So here is the link to the podcast as well as a link to the transcript in case you can’t download the podcast for whatever reason.

Love Always,

Dana

–Transcript–

Dana: Hello to all my returning listeners and to all my new listeners. Even those of you who are only listening to this podcast because of Chris Evans…

Chris: It’s their loss if they are. You’re awesome and you’re one of the best moms I’ve ever been around.

Mikey: Suck up. [Coughs]

Dana: Thank you Chris. You’re my favorite brother-in-law.

Nikki: [Laughing] Not even a minute into this podcast and we’re already off topic.

Dana: You’re right, Nikki. I meant to start this with introductions. So I will start with myself for those that aren’t familiar with my voice. I am Dana and this is my blog/podcast. Mikey is my husband, we’ve been married for nearly ten years. Say hi, Mikey.

Mikey: Hi Mikey [He and Chris snicker]

Dana: You two are predictable. Moving on… next we have my best friend and partner in crime, Nikki. Who also happens to be Mikey’s step-sister. Say hello to the beautiful listeners Nikki.

Nikki: Hello everyone!

Dana: Last, but certainly not least, I present Nikki’s husband, Chris Evans. Chris say hello.

Chris: [Chuckling] I’m not used to being introduced as Nikki’s husband, I like it…

Nikki: I do too. [Smooching sound]

Mikey: Really? Already with the kissing… you two are gross.

Dana: And this is why this was just supposed to be a podcast with me and Nikki only. I’m going to have so much stuff to edit out.

Nikki: [Laughing] Sorry… I just can’t help myself sometimes. He is just so darn cute!

Chris: Hot… so darn hot!

Dana: Anyway….. Thank you Chris and Nikki for agreeing to take part of this podcast. Mikey and I know how hard you two work to keep your relationship and, especially, your kids, out of the public eye.

Nikki: We love you and we trust you. We know you won’t publish anything too revealing about us and the kids.

Chris: That and we know where you live and we actually have a key to your house and the code to the alarm system… there really isn’t any place you can hide from us…

Mikey: Geez Evans, don’t make me embarrass you by beating you up again. My muscles are just as big as yours.

Chris: Only because I haven’t been busting my as- [clears throat] -er, I mean, only because I haven’t been training as hard as I did when I was playing Cap every six months.

Dana: I told you we should have locked them in the man cave before we started this.

Nikki: [Snickers] Maybe we should just move onto the questions you prepared for us before they start comparing the size of other things…

Chris & Mikey: Nikki!

Dana: Alright, this first question is about how the two of you met. Now, I know Mikey and I already know the answer to this, but our listeners don’t.

Nikki: We met in August 1997, right after my mom and Mikey’s dad got married. I was 12 at the time and Chris was 16.

Chris: Mikey and I have been best friends since we were like 5 years old and we grew up across the street from each other. Our parents actually still live in those same houses. Which makes it very convenient for holidays and such.

Dana: Nikki, you and I have spent a lot of time talking about this. Hell, I’ve known you since before Chris and even Mikey, since we were both the “new girl” at school in 1996. But I’ve never heard Chris’s thoughts about your first meeting.

Chris: Honestly? I didn’t have any. Like Nikki said, she was 12 and I was 16. She was just my best friend’s new kid sister.

Nikki: While I, on the other hand, thought he was the cutest guy I’d ever seen. And I suppose I should mention that I was a month shy of turning 13 when we met.

Dana: So it wasn’t really love at first sight for you guys then.

Mikey: Well Nikki thought she was in love for a while. I found a couple notebooks that had ‘Mrs. Chris Evans’ written in a heart…

Nikki: Chris was the first guy I ever had a crush on, so yeah, I thought I was in love with him. Then he graduated high school and I started liking and, eventually, dating other guys.

Dana: Which leads me directly to how you two got together. And I will start this by informing the listeners that you guys we reintroduced at mine and Mikey’s wedding nearly ten years ago. Nikki was my maid of honor and Chris was Mikey’s best man. So what was it about the other that caught your attention?

Chris: Well, naturally, the first thing I noticed about her was her beauty, especially her smile.

Nikki: And then you realized who I was and you went from flirt mode to protect the bro code mode.

Mikey: Not that he protected it for very long….

Chris: Says the one who married his sister’s best friend….

Dana: Guys… don’t make me put you in time out…

Chris & Mikey: Yes mom

Nikki: [Chuckling] As soon as Chris had a couple beers in him at the rehearsal dinner and found out that Dana and I were best friends, the bro code got tossed out the window

Chris: You’re making me sound like a pig, Nik… I also threw out the code because I saw you interacting with your younger half-sisters and then my family, especially my nephews and something just clicked in my head. I knew you were the one when my nephew put a chocolate hand print on that pink sundress you were wearing and instead of freaking out like girls I had dated in the past, you just laughed it off and gave him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Nikki: Oh, Chris! [Sniffles] You’ve never told me that before. I didn’t even know you’d witnessed that. Much less knew that night that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me.

Chris: I’ve meant to tell you for a while now, but I guess I never did. Especially, since I had to spend six weeks convincing you that I really wanted to be in a relationship with you.

Mikey: I remember those six weeks. Here I was a newlywed, expecting to get extra loving from my new wife only to find myself in bed alone while Dana was on the phone with Nikki for hours and hours.

Nikki: It was a lot to take in. Chris and I hadn’t seen each other for 13 years and he was a few weeks away from the release of the first Captain America. Plus I was attracted to him, but I wasn’t sure if what I was feeling for him was real and adult or just left over from my youth.

Chris: And she waited until I was in the middle of the promo tour to agree to a date with me. Then after the promo tour and premier was over for the movie, I had to report back to filming for Avengers. So we didn’t have our first date until the middle of August.

Dana: Tell us about your first date.

Nikki: I bought a great dress for it and he got to my apartment and told me to go change into pants because I couldn’t do what we were going to do in a dress.

Chris: I told you to change after I told you how gorgeous you looked and that I would happily change the plans I had made for us.

Nikki: That’s right, you did. But you’d been telling me for weeks over text messages and the phone that you’d planned a great first date for us and I didn’t want you to change anything.

Mikey: You guys went mini golfing right?

Chris: Yeah, I took her out for dinner and then we went mini golfing. She totally beat me.

Nikki: I still don’t believe I beat you without you throwing the game. You love golfing, I don’t. I’m good at sports that don’t require me to hold on to something.

Chris: I didn’t let you win. I was just distracted by your beauty and wishing I had kissed you the minute you’d opened your front door.

Nikki: [Laughing] You are so full of bs.

Mikey: [Groans] Again with the kissing?! Dana ask them another question!

Dana: So Chris said he knew the night you guys were reintroduced that you were the one he wanted to marry. When did you know you wanted to marry Chris, Nikki?

Nikki: I knew by my birthday, which was about a month after our first date. He was in Ohio for most of that time because of filming, but we spent just about every free moment we had talking on the phone or texting.

Chris: I wooed her.

Nikki: You did.

Dana: How long was it before you guys started talking about getting married? I mean, it couldn’t have been long because Chris proposed on New Year’s Eve.

Chris: I think our first conversation about marriage and kids happened when she came to visit me while I was filming in Ohio, which was in like mid to late September.

Nikki: It was just after the Patriot’s game ended. I was due to leave the next morning and I think we stayed up most of the night just talking about where we saw ourselves in ten years.

Chris: And look where we are now. It’s been nearly ten years and everything we dreamed about has come true. We have three amazing kids, two great dogs and a terrible cat.

Nikki: [Laughing] Oh don’t even say that. You love Sadie as much as the rest of us do.

Dana: So where do you guys see yourselves in ten years?

Mikey: Wait! You teased about the proposal, shouldn’t you ask them about that first before moving on to the future?

Dana: Oh, right. Quick recap of the proposal and wedding?

Chris: [Chuckling] Like you said, I proposed to her on New Year’s Eve in 2011. My mom was hosting a party at her house and, like always, Nikki and Mikey’s parents offered her use of their fridge for extra food. So my mom, who was totally in on the whole plan, sent Nikki and I across the street to get more food and I proposed to Nikki in the kitchen where we met back in 1997.

Dana: [Squeals] I know I knew about it ahead of time and I’ve known the story for ten years, but I just get excited whenever I hear one of you guys tell that story! Just gives me all the feels!

Mikey: The feels? Seriously? Are people still saying that? Wasn’t that like soooo five years ago?

Nikki: It gives me the feels too. Especially when you add the fact that we got married nearly 15 years to the day that we first met.

Dana: If only that venue had been available on the August 1st instead of August 4th.

Chris: I think it all worked out perfectly in the end, just the way we wanted it to.

Nikki: It really was perfect. We got married at this fully restored, 100 year old barn about thirty minutes from Sudbury. It was a gorgeous venue.

Chris: And a gorgeous bride.

Nikki: Don’t forget the hot groom who was rocking a sexy suit.

Chris: You know me, I won’t wear a suit that isn’t sexy.

Mikey: Ugh seriously! [Groans] Dana ask them the 10 year question so they stop making out over there

Dana: [Laughing] Alright, for real this time. Where do you two see yourselves in ten years. Both career and family wise.

Chris: Family wise, I think we’re both open to having more kids.

Nikki: I’d love more kids. Whether it be through us having more biological children or adopting from within the United States or even internationally.

Mikey: You’re almost 40, Chris [Grunts in pain] Hey! What was that for!

Chris: For reminding me I’m almost 40, but please continue…

Mikey: Promise not to hit me again?

Chris: You have thirty seconds to spit out whatever you were going to say.

Mikey: [Talks fast] How late into your 40s do you plan on having kids? Because Rachie is almost 4 and you’re going to be 54 when she graduates high school.

Chris: I haven’t really thought about it too much, if I’m being totally honest. I suppose I should though…

Nikki: I think that is totally ok, it’s not like we can change anything after the fact. Some people meet their significant other young and have kids young. We didn’t and that is totally ok, too. So we’ll be old when our youngest babies graduate high school… that’s perfectly fine with me as long as you’re by my side.

Mikey: [Groans] And they’re kissing again, honestly you two!

Dana: What about career wise? You just did your first animated film with Disney, didn’t you Chris?

Chris: I’m not technically allowed to talk about it just yet… but yes, I’m lending my voice to an animated character and it’s not what people would expect from me. But other than that, I’ve enjoyed taking some time off with Nikki and the kids, but I’ve also enjoyed doing some theater and getting behind the camera some more too.

Dana: I suppose we should move onto the parenting questions since this is a parenting blog. However, because we’ve already used up more than two-thirds of our podcast time, we’ll have to be quick with these questions so we can play ‘Who is’

Nikki: Sounds good to me.

Dana: Alright, since we are short on time, I will just inform the listeners that you two have three kids, a 7 year old, a 5 year old and a 3 year old. Do they have set bedtimes?

Chris: We try to keep them on the same schedule as much as possible, but life happens and sometimes you have to roll with the punches.

Nikki: On the weeks we do manage to have all the kids in bed by 8 and asleep by 8:30, we have a family movie night on Friday and we let the kids stay up an extra half hour.

Dana: What a perfect transition to my next question! We grew up without a lot of the technology that is a part of our everyday lives now. There are hundreds of studies about kids and their addictions to phones, iPads, computers and other things even as young as 2 or 3. How are you guys dealing with that?

Chris: Nikki and I both realized how attached we were to our phones when Josh was born and we kind of took a step back from things. Especially when he wanted to hold said phones. But we have set rules in place to help limit their use of technology.

Nikki: We have lots of timers and electronics that turn themselves off and remain off for certain amounts of time. We’ve had to adjust some of Josh’s computer time to allow for the homework assignments that require him to be on the computer, though.

Chris: Nikki and I are both outdoorsy people

Mikey: [Snorts with laughter]

Chris: Ok… so I’m an outdoorsy person and Nikki tolerates it as long as I don’t make her sleep in a tent without an air mattress, go more than two days without showering or using a flushing toilet, and or make her touch a fish.

[All four laughing]

Chris: But like I was saying, our kids love being outdoors as well. The boys love splashing around in the rain and mud in the spring and fall as much as they door running through the sprinkler in the summer. And they love playing outside in the snow.

Nikki: Like father, like sons.

Chris: Exactly. So yes, we try to limit the amount of time they spend using technology, but we understand that it is a part of their future, we just want them to find a happy medium.

MIkey: So we’re all in agreement that our kids and your kids aren’t getting cell phones until they’re teenagers.

Chris: I was thinking more like sixteen. If they prove that they’re responsible enough for one.

Nikki: We really are ancient aren’t we? I’m pretty sure mom and dad got the twins cellphones for their 10th birthday.

Dana: I don’t want to think about how old we are. [Whines] Let’s play ‘Who Is’ instead!

Dana: So I’ll ask a question and you guys either answer with your own name or the other’s name.

Mikey: Am I playing?

Dana: No, just Nik and Chris.

Mikey: I’ll go get another drink then. Chris you want one?

Chris: Sounds good.

Dana: Alright, first question. Who is the cuddle bug?

Nikki: Depends on the situation, we both can be cuddly

Chris: But it’s usually her

Dana: Who is more affectionate?

Chris: This is another ‘depends on the situation’ question

Nikki: What he said

Dana: Who is more protective?

Nikki: Chris

Chris: I don’t know about that one babe, I’ve seen you go momma bear on some people…

Dana: Who reaches for the other’s hand first

Nikki: Depends on the situation. But I like holding his hand…

Chris: And I like holding hers.

Dana: You two are totally cheating in this game, by the way. Though, I’m pretty sure we all know the answer to this next tone. Who gives the silent treatment when they’re mad at the other.

Chris: Nikki

Nikki: [Laughing] Definitely me

Dana: Called it! Alright, how about this one who sneaks into the shower with the other in the morning?

Mikey: [Groans] I don’t want to hear this answer… I came back at the wrong time…

Nikki: [Laughing] I’m up with the sun and he likes to sleep in, so it’s definitely not him

Chris: You’ve snuck into the shower with me a time or two…

Nikki: That’s cause you’re hot and I can’t help myself.

Dana: Alright, well who initiates sexy times the most

Nikki: I’ve never really thought about it…

Chris: Me either…

Dana: Here’s another one that I’m pretty sure I know the answer to. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear at inappropriate times?

Chris: I won’t even attempt to deny this one… though Nikki has said some pretty dirty things to me on red carpets…

Nikki: Only to help you relax…

Dana: I am very proud of you Nik! Alright who sings in the shower?

Nikki: That would be both of us.

Dana: Who takes the longest to get ready?

Nikki: [Snickering] Do you want to answer this one Chris?

Chris: Shut up. It’s not my fault you wake up so beautiful you don’t need to do much…

Nikki: You’re so full of it! [Laughing] But seriously, I’ve just perfect the mom has five minutes to get herself ready for the day look for my everyday life. But when it comes to getting ready for events, I do take much longer than he does… usually because it includes some sort of spa-like pampering.

Chris: It’s cause you deserve it.

Dana: Aww you guys are too cute! Speaking of events, who drags the other out to the dancer floor?

Nikki: I can usually coax him out there for a dance or two..

Chris: She is my weakness…

Dana: Alright, slight shift here to questions about being pregnant or rather when you were pregnant. Who suggested the most ridiculous names?

Chris: That would be me.

Nikki: And your friends. Chris Hemsworth suggested we name our eldest son Thor.

Dana: [Laughing] I had forgotten about that! Alright, who read the most ‘What to Expect’ books?

Chris: That would probably be me, too.

Nikki: Though it probably should have been me. But there were some nights that Chris would read it aloud to me.

Dana: Awwww!!! Gah, I want another baby…

Mikey: I think we’re done with the baby questions…

Dana: Spoil sport. [Clears throat] Alright, here are some travel themed ones. Who always gets the window seat on the planes?

Chris: Me, Nikki doesn’t like sitting by the window

Dana: Who is in charge of the radio during road trips?

Nikki: The driver

Chris: Unless his co-pilot convinces him to let her pick the music during the drive from Boston to Georgia…

Nikki: Oh hush, you loved the mix I put together and you know it.

Dana: Who over packs?

Nikki: That would be me. I overpack for myself and the kids.

Chris: And then she packs extra stuff for me, too.

Nikki: And I’ve saved his butt a couple times for doing so.

Dana: Who, without fail, accidentally leaves something important at home?

Chris: Guilty. I’m pretty sure we have a drawer full of extra phone chargers cause I always forget mine.

Dana: Who’s the most spontaneous?

Chris: Probably me, but only because Nikki can be a bit slow at making decisions

Nikki: True story.

Dana: Who is more likely to bring home a new pet

Nikki: Well we have a golden retriever named Boston that Chris found at a shelter while filming the second Captain America movie in Washington D.C.

Chris: His name was Boston! I couldn’t just leave him in D.C., it just wasn’t right! Plus, he is like the sweetest dog ever. But don’t tell Max, our other golden retriever, that, because I don’t want him to get jealous.

Nikki: Speaking of Max, he was a surprise present from Santa for our eldest son’s first Christmas

Chris: That was Mikey’s idea, because they had one puppy left from their dog’s liter

Mikey: Oh no, don’t drag me into this.

Dana: On to the next question!! Who kills the bugs?

Chris: As long as they aren’t spiders, I’ve got it.

Nikki: Though, you have started killing spiders for Rachie

Chris: That’s because she looks at me with her big blue eyes and suddenly the spiders aren’t so scary anymore because I need to protect her…

Dana: Be still my heart. [Sighs happily] Last question, who starts getting into the holidays way before they should?

Nikki: Both of us.

Chris: We never host Thanksgiving so we start decorating for Christmas the day after Halloween

Nikki: Bring on the Christmas carols

Chris: We like Christmas. We do Christmas good.

Mikey: And loud… and bright… how many lights did you have on your house last year, neighbor?

Chris: I don’t even know. But it made the kids smile and that’s all that matters.

Dana: Thank you guys so much for joining me for this podcast. It has been so much fun.

Nikki: Thank you for having us. Or rather, thanks for recording us? We do this all the time in real life.

Chris: Best of all, Mikey and I kept our potty mouths clean! That means we get beers!

Mikey: We get all the beer!

Dana: And on that lovely note, we will say goodbye for this podcast. I will be back again next week.

All Four: Night!

Want to find me off tumblr? I’m @beccatheycallme on twitter. I also post my stories on AO3 and Wattpad.

My tag list is always open, just let me know if you’d like to be added!

[discovering-ellie]

August 28, 2021 - Post Three

Okay, so this is going to be a VERY long post (and I'm so sorry for that) since I was a little too busy yesterday to write about the mindfulness card and I still have to do today's card. So, today is going to be a jumbo-sized card post for both days Thirteen and Fourteen.

Day Thirteen -- Like I said, I chose to pull from the "Kindness" section since I was feeling a little lazy, but I'm definitely not mad about this card in the slightest.

Front: "Notice strangers"

Back: "Making an effort to pay attention to people we don't ordinarily notice in our daily lives can help us avoid getting caught up in our own personal dramas. Next time you come across someone you don't know -- whether it's during a morning commute, on a trip, or even in your workplace -- take a moment to really notice how they are. Resist the urge to create a story about them. Instead, just take a small moment to connect with them through eye contact, a smile, or a hello. See them as they are: as real human beings rather than as anonymous extras passing through a movie about your life."

My Interpretation: I don't know if my rural/small town upbringing has anything to do with this but, in a way, I feel as if this is something that I already do subconsciously. Around here, when I see someone walking with a dog or riding their horse or a bike as I'm driving down the road, I tend to give them a small wave. Often times, I'll also do this to other drivers as we pass by each other on these farm-lined roads.

However, in reference to yesterday and my assignment at hand, I made small talk with a woman named Rachel at Starbucks while we waited for our mobile orders. We both knew that it would be busy at that time of day, so opted for the mobile order option while we watched other people get frustrated with the baristas over how long the orders were taking (mind you, their drive thru was backed up all the way onto TWO little shopping center outlet roads). We each got our drinks, wished each other a good day, and left.

Later on, while I was out at dinner with friends, I seized another opportunity (though it was definitely by sheer luck/coincidence/whatever you want to call it). We were out at Ale & Compass and one of the manager-types that walks the floor to check on tables was casually mentioning to someone that he was from "Vernon. You know, up by the Mountain Creek area." That was it. I was summoned. My head whipped around and before I could even really react to what I was about to do, I was already excitedly blurting out "Action Park!" "Accident Park!" "Traction Park!" "Class Action Park!" Every time that man came back to our table (damn, I wish I could remember what his nametag said because he was so cool), we had more Vernon/Action Park-isms to share. There was a real-life Jersey Party at Disney last night and it was incredible.

Plan of Action: I think this is something that I want to try to make more of an effort to do. I'm not always the best with small talk and it makes me really nervous to talk to new people, but I'm always getting people complimenting me on my Loungefly bags or my ears or something like that when I'm out at the theme parks. I think that's something I would like to do more -- hand out more compliments to people regarding things I notice about them.

Day Fourteen --

Okay, so I chose from "Relaxation" today because, again, laziness. Though, I also really like this card because it pairs very well with a goal that I already want to work on for myself.

Front: "Yes yes yes"

Back: "The idea of saying a giant, fat "Yes!" to everything that comes your way might feel cheesy or over the top, but as a mindfulness exercise, the practice of "yes" can be incredibly freeing. Whenever you notice any resistance to something that is happening in your direct experience, such as a difficult emotion or difficult sensation, instead of pushing it away try saying "yes" to the feeling and see what happens if it feels OK to do so."

My Interpretation: Okay, okay, we know that I'm already working on managing all of the feels in a healthy and constructive way. This card could be helpful for that. However, I'm also thinking that this card can help to push me out of my comfort zone and into trying new places and things. I have a whole list of places that I want to go or things that I want to do -- or a whole other list of things that I WISH I could do, but can't because of some major phobias (I'm looking at you, bioluminescent kayak tours).

Believe it or not, I've actually conquered a fear (cemeteries) or two in the past. Okay, maybe just one fear. And this isn't even just a minor fear, either. I used to be absolutely terrified of cemeteries. I would hate to stray off of the paths to go into the rows of gravestones. I would try to avoid as many plots as I could, while crying and apologizing and wishing I could be done with this as soon as possible. I don't know why they scared me as badly as they did but, of course, my parents thought that my fears were hilarious and poked fun at me for it every chance they got.

And then I got into urban & rural exploration. There are a vast amount of abandoned summer camps, farms, homes, cemeteries, etc. where I'm from and, more often than not, you could very easily find a detailed history of all of these places. I love the beauty in the decay when it comes to abandoned properties, but the history sucked me in even deeper. It was only then that I was able to look at a cemetery in a different light. It wasn't something to scare me (or to be shamed for openly expressing my fear) anymore; they were little pieces of history. Suddenly, they became less scary and more fascinating. I love cemeteries now.

Plan of Action: At least once a month, I want to do a new activity that I haven't done before or go to a new place that I haven't visited yet. Some ideas include ziplining, axe throwing, a rage room, maybe finding a place to pet a snake. Gradually, I would like to work my way up to conquering fears again but, for now, I like the rush that comes with trying something new.

DBT Skills Card Update: Ehhh. that's still coming along, though I'm now at a point where I've switched around my entire floor mopping routine to try to limit the amount of personal space invasion. So far, so good. Now, if I could get the laundry room issue taken care of. In other relationships, saying that I'm more confident in the progress I'm making there is an understatement.

ACT Skills Update: Thankfully, I haven't had to use them these past two days, though I have been practicing my self-compassion break phrases like I'm supposed to.

"I am already everything I am trying to be. I will see that if I stop for a minute."