#also i For Sure wanted sun to be a mesmer so the vibes had to match u know !!!!

[kariachi]

Okay, Scavio pokemon opinions, from 1-9

Sprigatito

What more is there to say about Sprigatito at this point? Pure grass type, little cat pokemon, we all know it. It’s cute, I like the contrast between the two primary shades of green, and the red-pink eyes pop thanks to being a complimentary color, ensuring they draw your attention. Though I didn’t expect it’s hidden ability to be Protean of all things, and now I’m curious as to whether this relates more to the evolutions I haven’t actually seen yet. It’s got plantlike fur that has to stay moisturized so... Moss Cat apparently. Don’t care what canon says, from now on Sprigatitio has moss for fur which will improve it’s score. Also it’s scent apparently ‘mesmerizes’ the people who smell it so, hah, I am stronger than moss cat? Also it smells more in the sun which, for all I know is standard for plants so...

7.2/10, nothing impressive, but it’s mossy and I am greater then it so

Floragato

I don’t have a proper picture to go off for most of these, just one of the in-game sprites, but that should be enough. The cat’s gone up on two legs, which I didn’t want to happen but I suppose such is life. It’s clearly looking more towards cool than cute, which now has me curious which if any of the other starters will lean towards cuteness. Also now has a bandanna with pink flower accents too, which I’m quite fond of. Between that and the leaf pattern on the face calling to mind a sort’ve mask, I’m really getting bandit vibes. Sort’ve a Puss In Boots pokemon. Ooo, apparently it has a vine and a hard flower bud at the end somewhere in all that fur that it wields as a flail, wouldn’t have expected that! And it’s fur gets hard and sharp when it’s in a bad mood or getting ready to battle. It looks like a bandit but this is a full on little warrior!

8/10, I didn’t want it to stand up, but I’m quite happy with what we got otherwise

Meowscarada

I am sure that name is a reference to something but I don’t know what (leave me be I’m studying German not Spanish)... Bulbapedia says it might be tied to the Spanish for masquarade, and I guess I can see that. Gained the dark typing, still on two legs, it’s marking is not just a full on mask over most of the head, the flowers have become a collar around it’s throat in a way reminiscent of Meganium, and it’s got, I don’t know if it’s supposed to be parts of a cape flaring out behind it’s arms or something attached to said arms... Ah! Just noticed, the Magician Pokemon. Honestly if anything a bit of a letdown on that front Floragato was doing a very hidden warrior thing, but let’s see what we’ve got in the pokedex. First entry makes note of a flower that I think may be in the main art and 3d model but not the sprite, so I can’t really judge there, but it does clarify that that is a cape it’s got. Second entry explains that it sneaks floral bombs onto it’s opponents, which is hardcore and much closer to what we were getting with Floragato.

7/10, don’t mind the look of it, but it doesn’t get Sprigatito’s extra points and I’m sad they don’t seem to the playing up quite the warrior status I was expecting from Floragato

~~

Fuecoco

I have loved this little crocodile since the moment I knew what love was. Okay, that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but from it’s dopey expression to it’s apple-like face and Quaxly being Quaxly it was my favorite of the starters upon reveal and I still have a soft spot for it. I like reptiles and reptile pokemon so, I’ve had high hopes for this follower in Feraligatr’s footsteps. The hidden ability for this line is Unaware which, great for lore and also just great in general. Love it. According to the pokedex the little ‘hairs’ on it’s head are pure energy leaking out of it because it’s fire sack is so small, and also it suns itself so much. It’s just a precious little crocogator baby.

7.5, much as I love it, it’s still not the most inspired on interesting starter to have every walked the Earth now is it?

Crocalor

This, is certainly a creature, I think? It’s definitely an awkward middle stage. The snout if longer, it’s hunched over, it’s wearing some sort’ve fire sombrero? Markings make it look like it’s in a little outfit? I think this is probably a cultural reference I’m not getting, which is totally valid, but it’s certainly a thing... Apparently the thing on it’s head is an egg-shaped mass of energy and I assume a nest around it? It’s flame sac is also close to it’s vocal cords, so it makes guttural calls when it spews flame, presumably similar to gator bellows.

4/10, I don’t like what I’m seeing of the design on this one, it just feels off, but the lore is interesting

Skeledirge

Hah! It did come down on all fours, now all we need is a croc pokemon that starts and ends that way to have the full set! It gained the ghost typing like people were suspecting and also is now the Singer Pokemon! It’s long and red and, I’m getting Leviamon vibes honestly but that’s inevitable, with white and purple markings and flames spewing from it’s mouth and nose. People are definitely going to say it looks like it’s got skull markings, and I see it, but also I am getting a bit of musical instrument and possibly uniform out of all this? Maybe? I could just be blind. Okay, I’m going to copy the first pokedex entry here, because it looks like bits that aren’t in the sprites are going to be a common theme here... “The fiery bird changes shape when Skeledirge sings. Rumor has it that the bird was born when the fireball on Skeledirge’s head gained a soul.” So, it sounds like Crocalor’s egg hatches into a bird that 1) might have a soul, and 2) is attuned to Skeledirge’s singing. Which makes sense because the second pokedex entry says it’s gentle singing soothes all souls that hear it. Also that it burns it’s enemies with 5400 degree flames, but that’s beside the point.

10/10, they gave me a four-legged crocodile pokemon inspired by croc vocalizations which nobody fucking bothers touching on, then gave it a fucking bird friend, pure perfection

~~

Quaxly

I’ll be honest I have never given two shits about Quaxly? Not that I don’t like it, it’s a fine enough design, but it’s just... It’s a duck with a hairdo. And not even a particularly good one. It just sort’ve exists to me. It’s hidden ability is Moxie though, so that’s certainly piquing my interest. Apparently it’s a migrant from another region, whose feathers secrete a gel that repels dirt and things. Must be handy to have around, especially since the pokedex says they’re very tidy, if overthinkers. Also very strong swimmers apparently.

5/10, not bad, but not interesting to me

Quaxwell

Y’all I- I want to be able to describe this pokemon to you, I really do. What I am seeing, looks like it you stretched Quaxly out, tried and failed to give it a beehive hairdo, and then gave it a part in some sort’ve figure-diving competition. It looks like a minor side villain in the Darkwing Duck universe, like it would get all haughty and then Bushroot would kick it’s ass. It’s the Practicing Pokemon now, I’m not sure what it’s practicing yet, but I don’t like it already. Dancing, it practices dancing. It trains it’s legs by running in water and then competes with it’s fellows over who kicks most gracefully. It’s hardworking and studies a wide variety of people and pokemon so it can incorporate their moves into it’s dances.

2/10, it’s trying, I only wish it wasn’t trying my patience

Quaquaval

The Dancer Pokemon. Water/Fighting. It looks better than Quaxwell. Not a high bar but we’re taking what we can get. I’m sure this is some Carnival or Eurovision shit but, I’m just seeing the 70s. That’s it. I don’t know, maybe this one is better in the 3d model, but just- It looks like it’s got a headdress on and if it does then I like that, and the tail has potential even if they really didn’t go far enough from what I’m seeing here. Otherwise... One kick can send a truck rolling, okay, dances are mesmerizing so it doesn’t get the ‘achi is stronger’ point, slices into it’s foes with water feathers... It’s a pokemon

3.8/10, Meowscarada I’m sorry I doubted you

~~~

I think, I can safely say that if I had gotten this game, I would’ve gone with Fuecoco, and had no regrets...

[soft-spooks]

what if i..... subnautica au again

[pixyys]

no longer human

what's this? dazai osamu x lawyer! reader

the moon is beautiful. but then again, it is beautiful because it is unreachable and far away, right?

warnings. spoilers for S4 / cannibalism aftermath arc, swear word, alcohol, dazai changing personalities like me changing my drafts :')

best read as continuation of objection hearsay! (buraiha part) and crime and punishment. but you can vibe along either way! hehe

"ooh, [name]! is that your law firm?" dazai points at a building that looks less flamboyant among the other brightly lit establishments.

"yeah. come to think of it. i wonder why they're putting a law firm in ginza out of everywhere."

yes, you are currently in ginza, tokyo; getting yourself swooped away from the comforting confines of yokohama by none other but one of your charming coworkers. one that had saved your life, actually. had dazai didn't call you that time, you don't want to know if you will still be standing here.

despite all that, he was the one who was adamant on treating you to 'some place nice.' claiming you've done a good job in both the last devastating case, as well as representing the falsely accused kunikida that has already gotten released from prison not long before this.

raising your head, the artificial lights outshine the early stars in the dusk sky. you just went on an impromptu trip to another city —an expensive city famous for its entertainment district— with a close coworker of yours. doesn't that sound like a romantic getaway you get to see in metropop novels?

in the dark, the colorful electric lights from the tall skyscrapers, opulent malls, and restaurants alike glow like mesmerizing gemstones. but dazai doesn't stop his steps.

"you know, if i knew you're taking me to ginza, i would've dressed for the occasion."

"don't worry, bella," he glances at you leisurely, "i'm sure you look stunning either way."

ridiculous. utterly ridiculous. you're not some rosy cheeked, lovesick highschool student. a conveniently charming coworker who also conveniently saved your life happened to conveniently invite you to a private outing with him. so what? that's what coworkers do! but more importantly-

"..who's bella?" a sister? a past lover? you tread carefully. ready to retreat in a safe distance should the man walking in front of you recoils and refuses to let down his walls further.

for a moment, you can only hear the sound of your steps, accompanied by muffled sounds of ads in billboards and night clubs opening early.

"..nevermind." dazai sounds uncharasterically exasperated —not a tone you normally hear.

the 'some place nice' dazai brought you to is somewhere less lively and more secluded, down a flight of stairs to what seems to be a conspicuous basement. being lead to such place, alone with the bandaged man, you could've started feeling cautious or uncomfortable, had it not for the fact that this route feels vaguely familiar.

"oh!" you exclaim as the neon sign reaches your line of sight.

"hm? been here before?"

"kind of?" you give your companion a taciturn nod, "if i remember correctly, i read about a good, but not particularly well-known bar. i wanted to go here back when i was still in law school."

dazai just softly hums, "figures."

the insides of the bar are of subdued colors of classic brown. its old fashioned interiors give off an antique vintage aesthetic. the space is adequately lit that it's enough to navigate your way and observe some of the decorative trinkets. but it's also not so bright that it hurts your eyes. this is the kind of establishment that gets more alive as the sun sinks further.

"i think i'll just have some coffee," you mutter as you observe the twinkling glass displayed near the red-vested bartender.

"geh!" dazai groans, "we've gotten all this far and you're getting coffee?"

you shrug, "i don't think i've told you. but it gets pretty messy when i drink too much."

"ahh.. well, you have a point."

sheesh. you make yourself comfortable on one of the stools. you might not be the best with alcohol, but you only took one shot out of formality back at SS. Zelda with all the agency people. it shouldn't have been that bad.

the short span of time while the bartender tinkers with your orders is filled with comfortable silence. the tinkling sound of glass and liquid being poured give you a sense of familiarity —like back at cafe uzumaki. not after a long while, your coffee is out, and dazai gets his beer. but he's just listlessly staring at your beverage —which adds to the pile of unusual behavior dazai has been displaying this whole afternoon.

"what's wrong?" you decide to play down your worry, "changed your mind about the coffee?"

if it was ranpo, and this coffee is a parfait, he would've jumped at the opportunity and gobbled your whole share. but this is dazai, who you never really hang out with, nor get to know better.

"no, i'm good," he chuckles, flicking the rim of his glass. "this just reminds me of the old days."

"old days? you used to come here often?"

"..yeah." he breathes out. if you notice the hesitation, you chose to not ask. "with some close friends," he continues.

"oh."

oh. you could've said something better. maybe something less passive. but you could never know with dazai. you're not even sure whether he —or yourself— really wants you to know about his past.

"well, i'm honored to have you take me here. does that mean i'm your close friend too?" you decide to skirt around the matter.

after setting his glass on the table, dazai momentarily sets his attention to the ceiling. his eyes are wide as if you just told him that dragons are real and are currently wrecking nowadays modern cities.

which they aren't, right?

"a close friend? that's one way to say it," he closes his eyes, expression softening to a relaxed smile.

"then, tell me, close friend," he turns his seat to face you. "do blessed people deserve to live?"

well, damn.

dazai always talks about methods of dying and all the things about suicide. you figure you'll have to get him some therapist to deal with his philosphical questions someday. you just didn't expect they'll come this soon.

"as for how you use 'your blessings,' well, you've gotten this far. so i figure you've found the answer to that one." dazai trails off, not minding your lack of response.

"let's see. then, i'll just answer that question for you," he doesn't stop. leaving you in a stupefied confusion with a cup of coffee barely drank. "they do deserve to live. it depends on how they use it. your blessings are not your fault."

now, that one rings a bell. no, rings a gong.

'your blessings are not your fault.' you knew there were more strings of sentences to that. but that particular sentence has been serving as a jargon that kept you going —from your young days of almost giving up until your most recent case regarding the falsely accused kunikida. your blessings are not your fault, so long as you work hard to use it to save people.

it has been simple, but life-changing words for you. yet, they were as motivating as they were anonymous. you've never really managed to grasp where you heard or read such saying from. a song? a book? some newspaper?

you take a more perceptive glance at the interiors of bar lupin, and everything comes into place. who knows you could only find the answer you've been looking for only after years later?

"dazai, was it you all along?"

the man sizes you up silently. to your eyes, he looks like a wise sage having his 'yes, it is i,' moment with his pupil. only after a few seconds of silence did he breathe out a sigh, "who knows?"

"so it is you!" you smile in excited glee. "you should've said something when i first joined the agency, geez."

(so you didn't remember everything, didnt remember that person).

dazai shows something akin of a raw downcast expression for a brief moment. but it could have been the beer you ended up caving-in to not long after.

for the next hour, you stayed at the bar: a half of it reminiscing about your school days and how you wound up in bar lupin out of other places; another half occupied by you prodding dazai about this mysterious 'bella' person and half listening to him ramble about apparently, the existence of this poisonous plant named 'belladonna,' as well as more double suicide offers using said plant.

a part of you couldn't really believe this concerning man was the same one who gave you an uplifting, life-encouraging words of wisdom. but you suppose it'll always be like that with dazai. you are sure atsushi can agree with you in a heartbeat.

"ah, it's gotten a bit too late," you glance at your wristwatch. "i was thinking of hopping a train and catch up with my parents for a bit.."

"your parents?!" dazai gasps, "bella, i know we're close. but don't you think this is too early? i'm not ready-"

"..nevermind," you return that 'uncharasterically exasperated' tone dazai gave you this afternoon.

retiring for the night, you excuse yourselves and thank the bartender, making sure to leave a little tip for making him put up with dazai's suicidal rambles.

as you walk through the late evening of ginza, side by side among the bright lights of worldly entertainments, you steal a glance at your eccentric coworker's side profile.

"thanks," you mumble out in a voice he might, or might not hear. for what, you're not sure. for saving your life? for inviting you in this getaway? for unveiling the identity of your mysterious motivator? for making that kind of expression like he has something more to say, but regretfully decides not to?

yet again, it could have been the alcohol. but he looks hauntingly beautiful. beautiful like the moon shining rays of soft glows that trail on his delicate, somewhat somber visage. unusual, you thought. but beautiful, nevertheless. but then again, the moon is beautiful because it's unreachable and far away, right?

note. you're a bit dense here, but the pining and slow burn is there if you squint hard enough :)

!spoilers! not long after this, this funny bandage man will get sent to prison to have some little mind game with another haha funny rat man. so if he wants to know if someone else remembers —or if he wants to help you remember— about the legacy of a close friend who has helped you both in going through life, it will have to be now.

i hope this make sense. i'm just vibing with those japanese citypop playlists throughout writing this haha

i wish the "blessing" thing was some clever literature reference, but it's just from this song and i thought, "hey, let's just use this!" then realized i've been mishearing the lyrics lmao

[tootiredmotel]

a different lover is not a sin

or: 5 times Dean didn't go to Pride + 1 time he did

Happy @starrynightdeancas gift exchange posting day!!! This one's for the wonderful and talented @andzia267 !!! Sending you all the hugs and good vibes, and I hope you enjoy it! And thank you Sophie for hosting all this, you're a rock star! <3

Read on ao3 or below / 5.5k words

CW: homophobia, queer used as a slur, john winchester being an asshole

1 - 1994

Dean was fifteen years old when he found out that being gay was something people could be proud of. It was early in the morning, they'd left their motel about 20 minutes before, and Sammy had fallen asleep in the backseat. The sun was just starting to completely show over the horizon, and they were driving through– or rather, struggling to get out of– Phoenix on their way to a possible poltergeist in Tucson. Every street they tried to take was blocked for the big event, and dozens of people already lined the sidewalks with colorful outfits and signs.

"Fuckin' queers," John grumbled in the seat next to him. "Never should'a thrown that damn brick."

Big banners overhead displayed "Stonewall 25: A Global Celebration of Pride". Dean made a mental note to hit up a library once they got to Tucson to look that up, "Stonewall". In the meantime, he was mesmerized staring out the window. Guys held hands, women kissed, everyone was practically vibrating with excitement. A black man in heels and a wig caught his gaze through the window and waved. Dean started to wave back, but his hand was harshly swatted back down.

"Do not," John said. "Don’t talk to them, don’t even look at ‘em. These people are sick in the head."

Dean focused his gaze on his lap until they were out of the city, and his mind wandered back to the gas station they stopped at the day before. He thought of the guy at the cash register that called him "cutie" and winked at him as he bought a candy bar for Sammy and beers for Dad with his fake ID. By Dad’s logic– which Dean trusted, of course–, that cashier, that queer, must've been sick in the head.

Then Dean remembered how his heart sped up, how his ears got hot, and how for a second he let himself think the cashier was kinda cute too. He realized he must also be sick in the head, and the thought was making him feel actually, physically sick. He felt like throwing up. Dad could never know.

Dean was fifteen years old when he learned that being gay actually wasn't something to be proud of.

---

2 - 2000

Dean was 21 years old when he learned the word “bisexual”. Dad had caught word of a ghoul case in lower Manhattan and sent Dean to take care of it. It was starting to get too hot and the streets were too crowded, but Dean was mostly glad to get a break from the constant fighting between Dad and Sammy.

Except it was June, and every time he turned a corner, there they were. The Pride parade flyers.

The second he spotted a rainbow he averted his gaze. He turned another corner and spotted another one. He avoided reading them at all costs. He heard Dad’s voice. Sick. Sick in the head.

For years now Dean had pretended he wasn’t sick. He pretended to not stare at Patrick Swayze too much whenever Dirty Dancing played on TV. He pretended like he didn't imagine what it would be like to kiss a guy, what stubble would feel like against his lips if he ever did.

He liked women. He could stick to women. He could live his whole life like that. And that meant he wasn’t totally sick, right? He wasn’t gay -gay if he liked girls.

But then what the hell was he? Would he even belong at one of these Pride things if he wanted to? He was probably a freak of nature. Even sicker than the rest of the bunch.

Curiosity got the best of him. He spared a glance at one of the flyers as he waited to cross the street.

Gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transexuals, ALL WELCOME

“Are you gonna go?” A voice next to him asked. ”It’s next weekend.” He was blond, pale, and a bit shorter than Dean.

“What? No! I don't swing that way,” Dean said, a bit too quickly and with too much bite.

The guy looked him up and down with a frown. “Geez, alright. Just askin’.”

He started to walk away, and Dean spoke up before he could stop himself.

“Hey man, wait.”

The guy stopped walking.

“Sorry, can I ask you something? Assuming you... know about this stuff?”

He seemed exasperated, but he turned anyway, willing to hear Dean out. Dean licked his lips, rubbed at the back of his neck, swallowed nervously. He couldn’t believe he was doing this, asking a stranger on the street about something so personal. At least the chances of meeting this person ever again were close to none.

“What’s bisexual?”

The guy’s features softened a bit. He seemed to understand something about Dean that so far Dean refused to acknowledge.

“It means you’re into more than one gender. And yes, you can do that,” the guy said. He flashed Dean a tight smile and then disappeared into the crowd.

Dean felt his hands go numb and balled them into fists, shoving them in his pockets. He took a deep breath through his nose. The guy said you. You are. You can.

The guy didn’t know what he was talking about. He knew nothing about Dean. He was wrong.

Or maybe he was right.

But he couldn’t be.

Dean couldn’t be… that.

Dean was 21 years old when he decided he wasn’t bisexual. He wasn’t anything. He was also 21 when he solved a case in record time (two days), just so he could book it out of New York before the next weekend arrived.

---

3 - 2004

By the time he was 25 years old, Dean knew he was bi. He hated it, he never spoke about it, and he ignored it as much as he could, but he was aware of it. And he knew he was bi because, at 25 years old, he’d already gone through two serious breakups, and they both equally sucked.

The first was Lee. He hunted with Dean and John for about a year, the second half of which Dean and Lee spent sneaking around and hooking up behind John’s back. It was fun, and hot, and exciting, and some of the best hookups he’d had up until that point in his life were with Lee.

But the thing is that it wasn’t just hooking up. They were close, and Dean liked him. A lot. They kissed for the first time after a particularly scary werewolf hunt in which Dean almost died, but John was more preoccupied with the mostly-unharmed victim than his own son. Dean and Lee rode in the backseat, bruised, bloody, and quiet. When John went to walk the victim up to her apartment, Lee reached over and placed a hand on Dean’s back, asking him if he was okay. Dean fell into Lee’s arms, and they kissed as they pulled away from the embrace, soft and comforting. It was Dean’s first kiss with a guy.

Lee was a lot of firsts for Dean over the next few months. But then John almost caught them once, drunk and making out in the Impala.

And then that case in Arizona went wrong, and Lee just couldn’t take it anymore. He packed up, swore off hunting, hugged Dean goodbye, and left him in the dust.

Dean needed to clear his head after that. He could barely look his dad in the eye after that close call, couldn't let him see the sorrow he was feeling. With every interaction, he imagined how John would yell at him, probably try to beat it out of him, if he noticed all he was feeling over Lee. Or worse, John could ignore him, practically disown him like he did Sam.

So he also packed up and left. Went hunting on his own for a while.

It was on one of those hunts that he met Cassie, and she was yet another handful of firsts for Dean over the course of a few months. She was amazing, and he fell hard and fast, but of course that went up in flames too.

Then again, he should've known better than to be honest. Honesty only ever got him in trouble.

He’d just left her back in Ohio and was working at a bar in Indianapolis for a few weeks to make some cash. He’d eventually meet back up with Dad. He just couldn’t right now. Not with Sam gone to college. Not after getting his heart broken twice over within a year.

He was hyper-aware of the end of June approaching. He knew it was coming, Indy had a pretty big celebration, and he made sure to be working all day that day so he wouldn't have to face it.

That was pointless, though. Toward the end of the day, a big group of about ten or twelve people who were clearly coming from the parade stumbled into the bar. One of them was apparently the owner’s little sister and they went there every year after the celebrations. They were loud, and obnoxious, and looked incredibly happy. Their happiness was contagious, and Dean loved serving them. He chatted them up, got to know them a bit, and heard all about the parade, all while staring down anyone at the bar who dared look their way with even the slightest stink eye.

But watching them that happy and comfortable, seeing not one, but two pairs of guys sloppily leaning against each other and sharing the occasional kiss while none of their friends seemed to bat an eye… something in Dean ached. Deeply.

Dean was 25 years old when he realized that a small part of him kind of, sort of, wanted to be part of this community. He couldn’t though. Not if he wanted to be on good terms with Dad. Not if he aimed to be the man Dad wanted him to be.

He left Indianapolis the next day.

---

4 - 2008

Dean was 29 years old and on his own personal highway to hell when he learned his brother went to a Pride parade before he ever did. They were driving through San José, the streets were lined with ads for Silicon Valley Pride, and Sam just casually decided to mention how fun it was the last time he went.

Thankfully they were at a red light, or else Dean probably would’ve slammed the breaks. He twisted to look at Sam head-on, his arm on the back of the seat.

“You what ?” he gawked.

Sam shrugged innocently. “What?”

“You went to one of these Pride things?”

“Yeah, dude.”

Dean’s brain was just trying and failing to load. “Why?” he finally asked.

“Jessica was in the GSA and some friends invited us. It was awesome.”

“She was in the what?”

“The G. S. A.,” Sam answered slowly. “Gay-Straight Alliance.”

“Oh.” Whatever that is, Dean thought. He kept eyeing the flyers. It was tomorrow.

“Green.”

“What?”

“Light’s green. Green means go.”

Dean rolled his eyes. "Shut up."

He kept driving and turned up the radio. Somebody To Love was playing, and as much as he liked Queen, he had to change the station. He tried to picture his little brother (his straight little brother) wearing rainbow face paint and having the time of his life at this thing. How come Sammy got to go when Dean could barely entertain the idea? Dean was the not-straight one. It wasn’t fair.

He channeled his jealousy into gripping the steering wheel.

“You okay, Dean?”

“Yeah.” No. “Yeah, m’fine.”

Dean was 29 years old when he died and went to hell without ever having gone to a Pride parade, knowing that his idiot ( straight! ) little brother already had.

---

5 - 2014

Dean was alive again and 35 years old (75, if you count hell) when he was formally invited to a Pride parade for the first time. It was a couple of days after that whole mess with Cas in Lucifer’s crypt, and he called Charlie. He just wanted to hear her voice, needed to know he was still on good terms with at least one of his best friends.

“So anyway,” Charlie said after a while of recounting what she’d been up to. "How single are you right now? My answer is: miserably."

Dean chuckled. Then he thought of Cas, and the smile disappeared. "Yeah, you and me both, sister."

“Would you mind coming with me to this thing next month? Going alone kinda sucks.”

Dean put the phone on speaker and placed it on the library table as he sat down with a beer. “What’s the thing?”

“Pride.”

Dean was glad no one was around to see him almost choke on his drink.

“You good?”

“Yeah, what was that?”

“Pride parade. Don’t have anyone to go with this year.”

“Why uh… Why? Why me?”

She knows.

“I dunno.”

She knows she knows she knows.

“You’re my friend, Dean. Thought maybe you might be interested. But never mind, I guess.”

And while all the alarms in Dean's head were blaring danger danger danger abort, he also hated to hear Charlie so disappointed.

“Hey, no, listen, Charlie, I… I would. Really. You know I support you, wholeheartedly." And that's obviously the only reason I would want to go. "But with Sam doing these trials, and Cas on the run with the angel tablet–”

“It’s okay Dean, I get it. Talk to you soon?”

“Yeah.”

And she hung up.

Dean knew, at this point, that there was nothing wrong with being queer. It wasn’t anything to be ashamed of, and it sure as hell didn’t mean you were wrong in the head or whatever.

But years of pretending to be a false version of yourself in an effort to please a man who was impossible to please wasn’t exactly an easy habit to break. As much as he wished it didn't, as much as he wished he could just exist, the thought of anyone finding out still made him sick to the stomach.

John’s voice still echoed in his ears. His words still drove Dean’s sense of self-worth and so many of his decisions. He tried to never stare at a good-looking guy for too long. He tried to not get too into it with Benny. He tried to keep his feelings for Cas at bay, tried to keep him at arm's length, tried to keep the fact that he was in love (deeply, stupidly in love) as close to his chest as he could.

Even that night at the crypt choking out the words to get through to Cas, he couldn’t bring himself to say what he meant. I love you, he’d wanted to say, because it was the truth. What came out, however, was I need you. And he did, he needed Cas more than air, but it wasn't quite everything.

It still got his heart split in two.

Was he so far gone over Cas that he couldn’t hide it? Had he been trying so hard and failing just as miserably this whole time? Was his attraction to dudes that obvious? Or did Charlie just have a sixth sense for this kinda thing?

It was probably the last one. He hoped it was.

Cas knew, for sure. Angels knew everything right? They could read minds, feel longing, or whatever. And if none of that ever tipped him off, well, Dean put it all on the line back in that crypt. He told Cas how he felt, told him he needed him, tried putting himself out there, and it got him left. Again. With Dean, it was always leave-or-get-left when it came to love. He was tired of it.

Dean was 35 years old, desperately in love with his best friend, and truly heartbroken for the third time in his life, when his other best friend– an out and proud lesbian– gave him a chance to go to Pride, to break through his shell, to finally embrace himself as he was; but because he was practically living in the closet, he couldn’t seem to find the handle after so many years of purposefully ignoring its existence, and he missed his chance. Besides, what was the point of going to a celebration of love without the love of his life by his side?

---

+1 - 2021

Dean is now 42 years old and the happiest he’s ever been. The love of his life? Cas? Turns out he’s felt the same way all along. They're kind of together now, and slowly but surely they’re working through a decade’s worth of shit.

They’ve been raising a kid together too, along with Sam and Eileen, and that kid is also God. After saving the world and whatnot, Jack decided to bring back some of their friends and family that died over the years: Mary, Kevin, Charlie. Yes, there are two Charlies now, but it’s not as confusing as you’d expect. (One is from another dimension, and the other one is Dean’s little sister. Simple.) Mary’s off hunting most of the time and Kevin’s applying to college.

They’ve got extended family now too, Jody and the girls. OG Charlie is staying with them for now, while she finds her footing. Most of that household is queer. Most of Dean's household is queer as well, actually. Turns out both Jack and Eileen are non-binary, Cas is gay in the broader sense of the word, and Dean…

Dean is bi. And everyone knows now.

Apparently, a lot of people had known for a long time. Sam has known since the siren back in ‘09 (even though Dean stands by the fact that it wasn’t like that, Sammy ), and everyone has slowly picked up on his and Cas’s thing over the years, so there’s that.

He still feels a bit weird about it. About calling Cas his boyfriend, about having the freedom to hold his hand in public, about the fact that they now have goddamn pride flags hung around the bunker. He feels even weirder about the fact that John’s voice in his head is now drowned out by the sounds of his home life, more lively and supportive than he ever expected to have.

He wasn’t expecting any of this, he didn’t think everything would change so fast. But when you spend the better part of your life pushing down such a huge part of you and then finally give yourself an out, a chance to show the people who love you who you really are, everything just... follows.

Love follows. Acceptance follows. Family follows. And he wasn’t really expecting any of it.

He certainly doesn’t expect it when Cas walks into the library after his weekly Thursday evening call with Claire and announces, matter-of-factly and with air quotes, “We’re going to "Pride" this weekend.”

Dean’s stomach drops. It’s the Sioux Falls Pride Parade and Festival, it’s in two days, and they’re leaving tomorrow to spend the night at Jody’s so they can all be there bright and early Saturday morning. Everyone immediately starts bustling about, packing and planning outfits and gathering flags to bring with them.

Dean just goes to his room– his and Cas’s now– to pack a small duffle.

Well, he means to. Instead, he takes out the duffle from the closet, puts it on the bed, and sits next to it for a while. An hour goes by. He thinks back to all those times he had brushes with one of these things and was just never in the right mindset. He’s not even sure he’s in the right mindset now, but he’s going. It’s happening.

“Jack’s all ready to go,” Cas says when he walks in. “We spent about half an hour putting together an outfit for Saturday. He wanted it to be as colorful as possible.”

Dean smiles, but it’s not all there. He looks at the empty duffle next to him.

“Yeah, I might need some help with that myself.”

Cas is in sweats and a hoodie. Yes it’s June, yes it’s hot, but he’s a quasi-angel, and the way he experiences the world Dean will never be able to wrap his head around. He walks over and stands in front of Dean, running a hand through his hair and down the side of his face until he’s cupping Dean’s jaw. Dean takes Cas’s hand and leaves a few kisses on the inside of his wrist, closing his eyes as he does.

Cas regards the empty bag and hums quietly, as if in thought, before walking over to their closet. Dean chases his hand, holding onto it until he’s completely out of reach. Cas starts searching, and Dean’s stomach knots more and more with each clang of the hangers. Cas finally pulls out a flannel from its hanger– purple with hints of blue and pink– and tosses it over. Dean can’t believe he didn’t think of it first.

They continue to pack in comfortable silence before changing and getting into bed. Dean doesn’t flop onto his stomach or cuddle into Cas’s side as he usually does; instead, he lies on his back and stares at the ceiling in a daze.

“Dean?” Cas’s voice snaps him out of it.

Dean turns his head and asks, automatically, “You okay?”

It’s a habit by now, asking each other that question. It’s part of the working-through-a-decade’s-worth-of-shit thing they’re doing. Turns out they share a whole lot of trauma. They share worries and insecurities. They share nightmares sometimes, mostly about the Empty.

“I’m okay,” Cas says, putting his hand on top of Dean’s heart for him to hold, and Dean can breathe a little easier.

“You nervous about this thing?” Dean asks, interlocking their fingers.

“The parade? No, not really.”

And then, because he's been working on communicating how he's feeling out loud or whatever, Dean looks back up at the ceiling and says, "I am. Kinda."

He feels Cas shifting and propping himself up on his elbow, and then he's in Dean's line of sight. Dean's gaze is drawn to him, like all of him has been since the moment they met, and Dean can't believe he just has this now. He has a boyfriend, and it's Cas, and he's looking down at Dean with stars in his eyes and a comforting smile that actually works because it's Cas.

And then Cas is leaning down and softly pressing their lips together, and that's also something Dean can’t believe he gets to do: kiss Cas good morning and good night and at any moment in between, kiss him I'm sorry, kiss him we're going to be okay, kiss him I love you.

"I love you too, Dean," Cas says once they've pulled away, and Dean didn't even realize he'd said it out loud, but it doesn't matter. "And you don't need to be nervous. I'll be there with you."

The thought should be a thousand times more nerve-wracking, not just going to Pride but going to Pride with Cas on his arm. It's not nerve-wracking at all, and he soon drifts off to sleep.

Friday goes by faster than it should. The six-hour drive to Sioux Falls, although packed in a car with five people, goes by in a blink. They stop for provisions before getting to Jody's, filling up on backpacks' worth of snacks.

They get to the house and are met with endless hugs and excitement to match. Patience, Alex, and Jody are already working on dinner for the bunch, while Charlie, Donna, and Kaia are running around prepping for the next day and dragging along a hesitant but nevertheless happy Claire. Dinner is chaotic and loud and there are way too many people at the table, and Dean has to step outside after a while.

He sits on the back porch steps. Claire joins him. She's holding a beer, he's not. He hasn't been drinking for a few months now. They don't talk, but she leans her head on his shoulder and they stay there a while, looking at the stars.

When they go back inside, Claire sits back down in her spot at Cas's left, across the table from Dean, and leans on his shoulder for a while too. It's her way of saying she cares, of saying I missed you without really saying it. Jack sits at Cas's right, talking excitedly with Patience about some tv show or other, and the image fills Dean with such fondness that he reaches over with his foot, presses it to Cas's ankle, and keeps it there for the rest of the night.

Dean, Cas, Jack, Sam, and Eileen spend the night spread out around in the living area while the girls sleep in their respective rooms, and Dean is only slightly less nervous as he falls asleep holding Cas’s hand.

---

The nerves all come flooding back as he’s parking the Impala the next morning.

They’re not able to get even remotely close to Phillips Avenue since the streets are so full. They park the three cars that all twelve of them came in as close as they can and then have to walk for another twenty minutes. From blocks and blocks away, people walk and holler and greet them excitedly, many of them trying to circle this swarm of flanneled individuals that are taking up a whole sidewalk. Granted, Dean and Claire are the only ones in their usual kind of outfit. The rest of the bunch is wearing as many colors as they could compile from their closets, half of them are wearing face paint, and the other half are carrying an assortment of pride flags.

They fit right in.

The walk toward the main avenue of the parade is kind of a blur for Dean. He knows he waved at a few people, some friends of Alex from high school joined the group at some point, and Jack already grabbed a snack from his backpack.

The actual parade is also kind of hazy. Getting out of the house that morning had been probably even more chaotic than the night before, so they’re a bit late and the parade has already been going for a good half hour. On top of that, they accidentally merge into it not quite at the starting point but a bit further down the road, in between a decked-out pickup truck and a group of people with dogs. Music is blaring, the dogs are all barking, a big float rides a few yards in front of them, and hundreds stand on the sidewalks recording on their phones and cheering them along.

Dean’s not sure they’re even supposed to be in the actual parade. Maybe they’re supposed to be on the sidewalks? Is this right? What is happening, what is he even doing here?

He doesn’t notice how heavy he’s breathing until Cas is squeezing his hand and beckoning him to meet his eyes. He does, and the blue in them, as imposing as the Atlantic, drowns out everything else around them. “You’re okay, my love,” Cas says. It’s a fact. As long as Dean is with him, he’s okay.

On his other side, Dean feels someone link their arm around his. It’s Charlie, and she’s beaming at them, her cheeks almost as red as her hair. It brings Dean back to reality, grounds him, but he’s okay now. He’s not alone, and he’s meant to be here.

He’s proud to be here.

The parade leads up to a sloping park, and at the lowest point of it, there’s a stage where Dean assumes someone will MC for the afternoon, or maybe perform. It’s grandiose in its simplicity, kind of like a Greek theater, with everyone settling down on the grass around it, expectantly.

“We’ll be right back,” Dean hears Sam say, and he turns to find they’re all set to spend the afternoon, towels laid and backpacks off (save for his). “Jack wants to go meet the drag queens,” Sam says with just a bit too much glee before he and Jack take off.

“It’s not just Jack,” Eileen smiles and follows.

Cas is already sitting, eating one of the PB&Js he packed as lunches for everyone. Jody and Donna are settling down as well and Charlie’s taking a dozen pictures, but the rest of the girls are all standing. “We’re gonna go check out the vendors,” Claire announces, and they start to take off as well.

“Be careful, please!” Dean calls after them, but they pay him no mind. He turns to Charlie. “Hey, your majesty, keep an eye on them will you?”

She smiles, bows gracefully, and heads in the same direction.

Jody stands and grabs Dean by the arm, beckoning him to talk in private for a second.

“What’s up?”

If Dean knows Jody at all, and he does, they’re on the brink of a mom talk.

“Look around, Dean.”

“What for?”

“Just look,” she says, rolling her eyes. “Please?”

So, at her request, Dean starts taking in the environment. Now that everyone is gathered, he can actually see all the people that came out (heh) for the event. There are church groups, pet shelters, skateboarders, and rollerskaters. Drag queens are already taking pictures by the stage, and at least two people are wearing unicorn heads. A few vendors’ tents and food trucks surround the park, and rainbows completely dominate the scenery. There are elders, and kids, and all kinds of families and couples, and everyone looks… happy. Free.

And Dean is here with them. He is one of them.

There’s no danger, no monsters of any kind. No one to judge him, hurt him, call him sick in the head.

He finds Claire’s blonde head amongst the sea of shoppers at the edge of the park. She’s holding hands with Kaia and has one of the biggest smiles Dean has ever seen on her face. There’s no shame in it, and she’s not in any danger either. Things are different now, and she has the freedom to be herself that he never had at her age.

He has it now too. He can be himself.

Dean doesn’t realize he’s about to cry until Jody pulls him down into a hug.

“Dean, I am so proud of you.”

And then he cries.

---

They spend the afternoon laying on the grass, eating, drinking, and enjoying the festivities. The girls come back from the vendors’ tents after a full hour, and most of the bags on their arms are Charlie’s. She gets Cas a mug that says bee yourself in rainbow colors with an image of a cartoon bee, and she gets Dean a button pin that says AC/DC in pink and blue. There’s a meaning behind that apparently, and Dean decides he’ll look it up later.

Jack memorizes all the drag queen’s names. Donna takes a million pictures. They trade numbers with a few people.

There’s a big fireworks show just after sundown. It starts to get windy and a bit chilly, so Dean grabs the nearest pride flag and wraps it around himself. Cas, the perpetual freak who just doesn’t feel temperature apparently, is wearing a t-shirt and shorts and smiling at him unabashedly.

“What?”

“That’s the bisexual flag.”

So it is. “Shut up,” Dean says, but he’s smiling too. “You want in on this?”

He doesn’t wait for Cas to respond before he wraps it around his shoulders as well. The fireworks continue.

“You know,” Cas says after a beat. “As beautiful as they are, pyrotechnics are extremely damaging to the environment.”

Dean can’t help but laugh because of course, Cas would say something like that in a moment like this. He laughs and laughs and regrets being the only one to have heard that; then again, he’s the only one who could’ve found that funny.

He laughs a bit more, wipes a tear, and sees that Cas is still just solemnly watching the show.

“Cas?”

“Yes, Dean?” He replies and then turns his head.

Dean wants to kiss him. He wants to kiss him so bad. Then he remembers where he is, physically and in his life right now, realizes whom he’s surrounded by at this very second, and decides that he can.

So he does. It’s not unlike the way he kissed Cas when they rescued him from the Empty. Granted, there’s less sweat, blood, adrenaline. But just like that day, they’re both on the ground, and the gesture catches Cas by surprise. Just like that day, Dean pulls Cas in gently by the back of his neck and there’s no hesitance or fear. Just like that day, he just does it, presses their lips firmly together, and relishes in the taste of Castiel, in the feeling of the person he loves most in this world kissing him back.

The one big difference is this: that day marked the beginning of the rest of his life. Today? Today is just Dean’s first Pride.

[imaginativeamateur]

fluff, 2, Kiba x fem reader

[Kiba Inuzuka X Reader] Frequents

|200 Followers Event|

Prompt: 2 — “Do you mind if I sit here?"

Pairing: Kiba Inuzuka x fem!Reader

Note: Thank you for your request, anon! Okay, disclaimers, I included Macchiato with less ice as the reader's drink but you can replace it with your personal favorite. And also, the reader's favorite hobby is reading (I guess this one because you're reading this so you probably don't dislike reading:D) This one has one of my favorite vibes lol. Hope you'll enjoy!

When Kiba was waiting for Ino in a café across from the Kunoichi’s flower shop, he saw you sitting by yourself at a table in the corner of the place, gazing absentmindedly at people passing by on the streets. He was mesmerized by the way your hands propped your chin, fingers tapping lightly on your lips as though you were in deep thoughts. It was the first time the Inuzuka found his heart beating at an impossibly fast pace.

From that day onward, Kiba became one of the café’s frequents. Ino was curious when her teammate—the man who disliked sedate and leisure activities—showed up at the glass door of the shop the next afternoon and only left when the sun set its ray behind the mountain ranges. Yet, Kiba shrugged the blonde’s question off with a half-smirk, “Wanna wind down at the end of the day.”

It was outlandish, of course, and Ino could not be any more dubious of his answer but she regarded his drastic change as the coming of age. Days turned into weeks, Kiba eventually got the schedule of your visit to the coffee shop engraved in his mind, and he would always make sure to arrive earlier to claim the spot close to the table that you usually sat at. Even though there was no single word exchanged between you and Kiba, both of you started to make abrupt eye contact and reciprocate slight nods of acknowledgments recently. As time went by, as the physical distance between the two of you shortened and shortened, Kiba grew more and more confident with his primal instinct—he needed to make you his.

On your part, you had noticed the Inuzuka’s presence in the budding stage. Being frequent to the café, you knew exactly that he was a new customer when he first set foot into the shop, eyes wandering the area, lingering just a tad bit longer at your table before he settled down at the other side of the coffee shop. Kiba was a famous Ninja in Konoha for sure, and you have definitely heard of his name going around in the village but it was your first time seeing him in person. And the man did leave a vivid impression on you when he left.

It was raining but you could not fight the urge to visit your comfort place. The shop was packed, almost every table was filled when you released a long exhale, finally made it under the roof with little rain dampening your outer coat. Your eyes scanned the area, trying to find an empty table, but to your dismay, every spot was filled. There were new faces within the customers, probably here to wait for the afternoon shower to dissipate. When you were about to leave, your gaze incidentally drifted to another table and spotted a familiar brunette sitting—it was Kiba. Contemplating whether you should leave or not, the rain continued to fall heavier each passing second and you mustered the momentary courage to walk over to the very Inuzuka with measured steps.

“Hey,” you cleared your throat, “Inuzuka-san.”

Kiba looked up at you, his hair slightly bedewed by the mid-summer rain, “Hey.”

“Do you mind if I sit here?” You murmured, “The place is full and it’s raining. It’s totally fine if you want to sit alone, though.”

“No problem, please take a seat.” He smiled and gestured you to rest yourself on an empty chair across from his, internally thrilled, “May I also know your name?”

“I’m Y/N,” you smoothed your bottoms as you settled on the cool surface of the wooden chair, “nice to meet you.”

“Y/N… that’s a beautiful name. Call me Kiba!” he beamed and pushed a warm teapot with a cup in your direction, “You should have something warm to prevent a cold.”

This was also why you adored this place—they always welcomed customers with wholesome tea, some days chamomile, dandelion, or mulberry. Today, the scent of gentle and exquisite chamomile filled the air. You gratefully took a sip, enjoying the soothing liquid that entered your cavity and down to your throat. Kiba leaned forward and placed both elbows on the table, “I haven’t ordered anything yet. What do you want to have, Y/N?”

The way your name slipped past his lips made your insides experience wonders. Your eyes lit up as you spoke, “I would like to have a Macchiato with—”

“With less ice,” he chuckled and you blushed.

“Right,” you timidly peered away, “with less ice.”

Kiba called for the waiter and placed your orders and then proceeded to start a conversation with you. The man leaned back in his seat, resting with a relaxed composure, “I want to know more about you, Y/N.”

Your eyes softly widened, surprised at his overt demeanor, stammering, “Yes? Oh, I-I like Macchiato.”

He hummed, shifting forward when you immediately realized what you just said, his chin rested on the backside of his hand, “I already know that.”

“Ah…,” you laughed in embarrassment, feeling your cheeks heating up under his gaze, “I… like to read.”

You did not know how long you and Kiba had been chatting, completely caught up in his charismatic way of speaking and cordial disposition. Your Macchiato was finished, now left with bleak water from the melted ice, mixed with a minor taste of diluted coffee. The rain finally stopped, customers gradually left the café as the sun reflected its last bits of glow before the night took over the village. You did not know this place had such a beautiful view of sunsets. You always left too early to admire this allure but today, you found a reason to delay your departure—Kiba.

There was a moment when neither of you said anything, quietly gazing outside the window, taking in the eternal brilliance of orange and red accompanied by the delicate resonances of the wind chime. Kiba’s hand suddenly came to the side of your cheek, brushing a strand of stray hair behind your ear, and your lips parted in bafflement. His calloused fingers stayed against the deliberately heating skin of yours as your eyes traveled to find his. Silence settled itself between the both of you when his thumb lightly caressed your cheek, now tinted with pink, “Do you mind if I sit with you next time?”

------------------

Taglist: @dai-tsukki-desu @thenightfallingstar @iam-gaaras-loveintrest @animepickle7

[boxesandrings]

Hello!! I just recently got into the stardew fandom and I'm notice a severe lack of Elliot content ;-; could I please get something fluffy and/or explicit with him and an afab or gender neutral farmer?? Hope you have a good day!!

Hello! It took me a while to decide if I wanted to do a smut or a fluff, but ultimately I decided a fluff, just because I love Elliott so much and wanted to see his soft and lovey side (also, I just published a smut of him on my AO3, and if you want to read it you can click here). Hope you enjoy!

Title: Dedicated

Rating: G

Summary: Elliott dedicated his novel to the Farmer, but the Farmer gets confused and thinks it's for someone else. Reassuring fluff ensues.

Characters: Elliott, nb!Farmer, Leah, Maru, Lewis, Gunther

Words: 2741

Elliott was not a nervous person. There never really was a reason for him to be— things tended to work out for him. School came naturally to him, and any poor grades were often changed for him after pleading his case to his teachers. Elliott only applied to his dream school and was accepted easily, and excelled within his program. He slept with the people he wanted, because they always wanted to sleep with him too, and when he decided on a whim to move to Pelican Town, the breezy seaside town he frequented on vacations as a child, the cabin was already there, almost as if waiting for him. Things worked out.

The Farmer, however, made him nervous. They arrived a little over a year after he did, and Elliott couldn’t help but find the newcomer intimidating. They’d spend long days out in the sun, tilling the earth or wrangling chickens. Elliott would often step out of his cabin early in the morning to enjoy the stillness of the beach, only to find the Farmer already there, holding a fishing pole. They were non-stop, powerful. Elliott couldn’t help but feel inadequate around them, his stomach fluttered every time he spoke to the new Farmer.

Their short, shoulder length golden hair and long, muscular legs didn’t make anything easier either. The first summer after the Farmer had moved to town, Elliott had been so mesmerized by the way the Farmer’s back muscles looked as they helped Willy move some barrels on the dock that he hadn’t noticed the firepit in front of his house and tripped on the rocks, breaking his wrist.

He’d never had trouble flirting with other people before; Elliott knew he looked good and drew people in with his artistic vibe, and who would be able to resist his 10,000 megawatt smile? But for some reason the Farmer was different. He’d get flustered anytime the Farmer spoke to him, but for some reason the Farmer kept coming back.

He kissed the Farmer almost two months ago now, their stomachs both burning and heads dizzy from the homemade pomegranate wine the Farmer had made. Elliott had been bold and messy, and instantly had regretted how he had pulled the Farmer in, but they just smiled and kissed him again, over and over until the night sky grew bright. Elliott had bought a proper bouquet the next day, and the relationship had been going well since.

Elliott scanned the museum now, looking for his partner. After his book had been picked up and published by a proper agency a month ago, Mayor Lewis had insisted upon a proper book reading and signing event. The Mayor had told Elliott it was to honor his accomplishments, to celebrate Pelican Town’s first proper author, but Elliott had the feeling it was more about the potential revenue the tourists might bring in.

The Farmer walked into the museum, their arms linked between both Maru and Leah’s, the three of them laughing as they shuffled in. Elliott waved, and the Farmer waved back, face beaming with pride. The group slipped toward the back of the crowd, leaning against the display shelves. As if on cue, the Mayor walked up to the microphone on the makeshift stage Gunther had set up in the museum and addressed the crowd, introducing Elliott and reminding the tourists of all Pelican Town’s many amenities. Elliott rolled his eyes at the Farmer who giggled with their friends, and made his way up behind Lewis.

“Thank you all, for coming today. It truly is so exciting to see that in the short time my novel has been out how many people it resonated with, how many of you traveled to see me.” He bit his lip and scanned the room, attempting to gauge the interest of the crowd. A young woman up front threw him a look Elliott could describe as bedroom eyes, and he coughed, quickly looking away.

“Well, I’m certainly excited to start this, as I’m sure you all are.” A small laugh from the crowd, agreement. “The book, as some of you may know, is Camellia Station, a romance about a stewardess who falls in love with a travelling architect, and the great distances each would go for their love.” He picked up the book. “Shall we begin?

The crowd let out a small cheer, and just from listening, Elliott could tell it was mostly from his friends in town. He tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ears, and cracked open the cover.

“Camellia Station.” A small smattering of cheers, this time from a larger section of the crowd. He flipped the page, his breath hitching.

To My Love.

He had forgotten he had written that, almost eight months ago when he had sent in the final draft of his manuscript. The love in question, of course, was the Farmer, who hadn’t known how maddeningly in love he was with them at the time, and still hadn’t heard the words from Elliott himself. It was so quick, and they had only been on a few proper dates.

Elliott realized he had been silent staring at the page. Only for three, maybe five seconds, but long enough. He looked up, flashing a sheeping smile. “Sorry, it’s just hard to believe this is finally happening.” Some members of the crowd laughed, and Elliott cleared his throat.

“To my love.” He flipped the page quickly, and heard the young woman in the front row sigh dreamily. “Chapter One. 'Your ticket, sir?' Ticket collector Gozman extended a gloved hand towards the young commuter. 'Ah, yes. I have it right here,' he replied, reaching into his coat pocket. Mortified, he discovered that the ticket was missing..."

********************************************

The rest of the reading went off without a hitch. At the end of the second chapter, Elliott closed the novel and looked up at the crowd, a playful smile on his lips. “As much as I’d love to continue, we must return the museum back to its generous owner, who provided us the space to conduct this event. Thank you all so much for coming to listen and share this day with me.”

The audience began to clap, some more enthusiastically than others, and Elliott blushed as he heard the Farmer’s group being especially rowdy from the back. People began to line up to purchase copies of his book or to have him sign ones they already owned. After 20 or so minutes of signatures and well wishes, Elliott looked up to see Maru, Leah, and the Farmer smiling back down at him.

“Ellie! I’m so proud of you!” Leah practically leapt over the desk to get to him, pulling him into a hug much tighter than he would have ever expected.

“Leah! Thank you. I’m so glad you all came.” He wiggled his way out of her arms and smiled at Maru. “I’m glad you were able to make it.” Maru smiled back at him and nodded.

“Of course! Wouldn’t miss it.” Maru had been a surprising addition to their friend group. Before the Farmer, it had been just him and Leah, two aspiring artists against the world. It wasn’t that they didn’t like or get along with her, they just didn’t run in the same circles. The Farmer had quickly bonded with Maru after arriving, though, and as they moved their way into Elliott and Leah’s lives, Maru came along for the ride. Now, Elliott could barely picture the group without her.

“Congrats, El.” The Farmer walked behind the table now and wrapped their arms around him, planting a kiss on his cheek. Elliott smiled, wrapping an arm around his partner.

“Were you hoping to get an autograph as well?” The Farmer pursed their lips and looked up, a pantomime of thought.

“Actually, I know the author, so I think I can just get one whenever I want.” Elliott laughed.

“Certainly.” He looked back up at the two women. “Seriously, though, I’m so glad you were all able to come today. It really means a lot to me.” Maru nodded, but Leah came right back up to the couple and wrapped them both in her arms.

“Of course! I wouldn’t have missed it for anything!” Leah brought the couple into her, her arms around both, tears in her eyes. “I love you all so much! Maru, you too! Get in here.”

Maru sighed behind them but smiled and made her way into the huddle, Leah’s arms encompassing her as well. She stood for a moment, humming quietly as she held her friends.

“Leah? Not to be the buzzkill, but almost everyone has left and Gunther is staring directly at us.” Elliott shuffled uncomfortably as the rest of the group spotted the curator. Leah let go of her friends, and began to make her way toward the door, apologizing as she went. Maru followed quickly after, and the Farmer and Elliott made their way out hand in hand.

“Yeah! I think it went super. You sounded really good up there.” Elliott stepped ahead, opening the door for the Farmer.

“Do you think it went well?” Elliott looked down at his partner. The Farmer nodded, looking at Elliott through the corner of their eye.

“Thanks.” Elliott appreciated the praise, but something had seemed off in the Farmer’s tone. Was it not actually good? Did they hate the book? Elliott felt nervous.

“Everything okay?” The Farmer paused, then turned to face Elliott, a weary smile on their face.

“Yeah! I just had to get up a little earlier this morning to make sure I had everything taken care of before the reading.” Elliott nodded, but the pit in the bottom of his stomach remained. “Are you still down for dinner at mine tonight?”

Elliott cheered up almost instantly. How could he have forgotten dinner?

“Of course! Let’s go, straight away!” He grabbed the Farmer’s hand and began to strut, his chest puffed out in a caricature of strength. The Farmer laughed, almost tripping as they tried to keep up with Elliott’s stride.

Once at the Farmer’s home, Elliott pulled up his hair and began the task of preparing dinner. Without a proper kitchen in his cabin, Elliott’s culinary prowess was wasted. In the Farmer’s renovated kitchen, however, he relished any chance to show off his skills. The Farmer opted for a shower while he prepared their meal, claiming to be covered in grime from the morning on the farm, but something in Elliott’s stomach twisted again, unsure if his partner’s words were true.

Lost in his thoughts, Elliott didn’t notice when the Farmer appeared behind him, wrapping their arms around his stomach as they peaked around his shoulders to watch the action on the stove. “Whatchya cooking?” Elliott twisted to kiss the Farmer’s head and inhaled deeply, promising to commit the smell of the Farmer’s shampoo, cedar and smoke, to memory.

“I’m just putting the sear on some snapper that I bought from Willy this morning, would you be a dear and get the wine from the fridge?” The Farmer nodded, and their arms slipped away as they padded to the fridge. Elliott heard the pour behind him; the ting of the neck of the bottle against the glasses. The Farmer walked back up beside him, holding one glass between them.

“Do you want a taste?” Elliott nodded, expecting the Farmer to hand him the glass, but was surprised when the Farmer lifted the glass to his lips, a serious and intent look in their eyes. Elliott drank from the glass without breaking eye contact, attempting to play it cool, even as he gripped the handle of the pan tighter. He felt another tinge in his stomach, but this one wasn’t from nerves.

“Why darling,” he said, his voice dangerously low, “it’s not yet time for dessert.” The Farmer smiled, their lips still pressed together and kissed Elliott’s cheek and turned, making their way to the table. Elliott turned his attention back to the fish and turned off the burner and began to plate, unsure now if the meal would be eaten right away after all.

As he carried the plates over to the table, the Farmer smiled and scratched their head. “I feel bad, I really should have cooked tonight. It’s your big day after all.” Elliot sat next to the Farmer, kissing their forehead quickly on his way.

“Nonsense. I love to cook, and any day I get the opportunity to only makes the day better.” The Farmer smiled, but Elliott noticed that their leg continued to bounce quickly underneath the table. He bit his lip. “Darling-”

“El, did I— oh.” The couple paused, eyeing each other.

“I just wanted to ask if everything was okay.” Elliott pursed his lips. The Farmer chuckled nervously and ran a hand through their damp hair.

Elliott blinked and set down his fork, confused. “What?” The Farmer leaned forward, regret in their eyes.ing your reading today, did I… was I the other person, like did my presence impact your last relationship?”

Elliott blinked and set down his fork, confused. “What?” The Farmer leaned forward, regret in their eyes.

“I’m not saying something happened or that you cheated or anything, I would never imply that, but I know when I came here I was kinda flirty and obviously you were into that but I thought you were single.” The Farmer was animated as they rambled, their hands waving about. “And I mean I’m happy to be with you, I prefer it this way, but I’d feel terrible if I somehow caused stress in your relationships at all—”

Elliott grabbed the Farmer’s hands and pulled them in toward him, drawing their attention back in. He shook his head, confused.

“Darling, I don’t— What are you talking about?” The Farmer bit their lip and looked down again.

“At the reading, the dedication… I mean, it was sweet, but you sent in the final draft, what, almost a year ago now? And the story was very good, you know I think that, but I couldn’t help but think about that and how… if I was some kind of topic of stress in whatever… you know.” The Farmer looked back up, eyes misty.

Elliott laughed. He couldn’t help it. This is what the Farmer had been stressed about? He could understand if, certainly, but their own nerves almost seemed silly compared to his. The Farmer tilted their head, waiting for Elliott to answer.

When he finally calmed down, Elliott shook his head and picked his fork back up, studying his food as he cut off a piece of the fish. “No, it’s been… my last true relationship was many, many years ago, long before I came to the valley.”

“Oh.” The Farmer nodded, but Elliot could hear the confused tone in their voice.

“The dedication was for you.” He looked back up at the Farmer, smiling. The Farmer blinked and opened their mouth to speak, but Elliott cut them off. “I know, but… in all honesty, I truly think I’ve been in love with you for a long time, dear.” The Farmer smiled now, the misty look returning to their eyes.

“Oh, El.” They giggled and moved their chair closer to his, and slid a hand around the back of his neck.

“I really do believe from the moment I first saw you, I fell for you,” Elliott continued. “You had my heart.” The Farmer let out another small giggle and leaned forward, pulling Elliott’s head in toward theirs for a kiss, deep and soft and tender.

When they pulled away, the Farmer leaned their forehead against his. “I love you too, Elliott.” They chuckled and bit their lip, eyes scanning his. “I know I don’t have some grand gesture or… beautiful speech to tell you with, but I do.” Elliott nodded, and kissed his partner again.

Elliott stood up, his arms still around the Farmer, pulling them up with him. He pulled the Farmer in flush against him, their bodies pressed together as he tried to continue to kiss them, unable to maintain the connection as he fought his smile.

“That’s alright darling, your love is grand enough.” The Farmer laughed as Elliott tried to pull them into an even tighter embrace..

“My Love.” The Farmer smiled as they studied Elliot’s face. Elliott’s hand made its way to the Farmer’s cheek, stroking the skin with his thumb.

“My love.”

[ggyuwwoo]

heaven's cloud : Paradise

- in the afterlife where we get to choose our own paradise, two souls unexpectedly meet.

genre: soulmates!au, but also involves idolverse, kinda fantasy whimsical, afterlife-paradise world; fem!reader x lee chan warnings: mentions of death, magical creatures, not really sure what else i guess word count: 2.4k + i generally am not good at making these infos, bear with me sorry! also not really fond of the fic picture, but i also suck and still is learning,,,,

next | masterlist

-

Lee Chan, for your exemplary journey in life, you are hereby bestowed a place in Paradise.

"I'll take the clouds if I may,"

Then to the clouds you shall ascend, Heaven's Cloud.

-

Eleven months of (not) living in paradise, Chan had adapted well into his afterlife. The Guides had placed him in his own haven of his choosing, the Clouds. Fluffy white and softer than cashmere, the touch is cooling and healing, peace and quiet were also a given. To Chan, it's his very definition of heaven.

Despite being the only soul - apparently, no one has chosen the Clouds for centuries - Chan has been never alone. He had the little fairies and spirits to keep him company while wandering around the forests. Stars often appear in his nights to cast a light show for the boy. Cancer loves to see Chan's awe-stricken face as the constellation shows him a few tricks.

The Clouds inhabitants and surrounding astronomical beings grew fond of the boy. Hence, Lee Chan never felt alone.

Though it was a blissful experience and a beautiful memory, there was only one month left. One month until the end of his livelihood above the world.

You will be given twelve months of afterlife until your next life begins.

Chan still doesn't understand why they must be sent back to Earth, living another full life that may or may not be 'great'. Though the thought of living on Earth, whatever their life might be, is already a disappointing thought. After having to exist in a paradise of your own, nothing else would come close.

But apparently, the universe believes differently.

The fairies and spirits told him once, 'Universe sought in a cycle, to them it's the perfect way as it does not end, leading to the continuation of life and its purposes.'

"But what exactly do those purposes serve if there is no end to it?"

'There is none silly, if there was to be an end to it, then life itself would cease to exist. It serves to preserve life as we know it, and well - the Universe.'

Chan pondered the thought for a while, "What if, just really hypothetically, someone happens to break the cycle, what happens then?"

The fairies' expression saddened, 'Hopefully it never happens.' Some of them flew to sit on Chan's shoulder, a calming place for them. 'But if it were to happen somehow, life wouldn't perish instantly, but the Universe and everything in it will meet its end, including the afterlife.'

The boy nodded before noticing the frowns on the beautiful faces of the winged creatures, the atmosphere had taken a drop turn. Choosing to lighten the somber mood, Chan raised another question. "Well then, um, what about aliens? Do they exist?”

-

Throughout the time he was there, Chan spent it listening to the stories of the creatures, exploring the cloud haven that seemingly doesn't end, and conversing every now and then with the astronomical beings -- when they so happened to be passing by.

It didn't get boring for the boy as the stories that the fairies had been plenty and new, never losing the interest of Chan, and the beings were more than happy to talk with him about almost anything.

Of course, all this was okay and fine, revealing the Universe's secrets and whatnot, Chan wouldn't remember this anyway when he enters his next life.

On the first day of his twelfth month, Chan woke up from his sleeping quarters in the usual well-rested sleep. Walking out to do his routine of visiting the forest and later on relaxing by the Serenity Sky Lake. But before he could reach the outlines of White Forest, he saw a figure walking through the field, he couldn't see clearly who it was, but what he registered in his mind was enough to make him gasp.

It was another soul. A human.

As quickly as his feet could take him, Chan sped through the flurry landscape of clouds, wanting to figure out this stranger.

"Hey you! Hey!"

The figure turned to the general direction of where Chan was coming from, revealing its appearance. Upon view, Chan stumbled over nothing, causing him to fall forward into a roll and tumbling on the ground until he laid flat on his back. Luckily, there were clouds under him.

"Oh my God! Are you okay?" He heard the figure shout before rustling and someone appeared by his side. Chan scrunched his eyes trying to block the light coming from above while identifying the person looming over him. The first thing he noticed was long brown hair, the strands were flowing almost magically. As if hypnotized by it, Chan could only stare. Until finally, he saw the stranger's face.

She’s ethereal.

~

You were quite confused as to why you were where you were. All you could see for miles were… white? Your body was standing on nothing, or at least that was how it looked. A sudden voice interrupted your wonders.

Welcome _____, you are in Paradise.

You turned back to find the source of the voice but all you found was a blinding light that caused you to squint your eyes.

“Wh-what? Where?”

Paradise dear, the afterlife.

Your mind went blank, the afterlife? No way. Your brain tried remembering the last thing before waking up in this weird place.

There’s no use child, your memories are long gone. But I can tell you this, you went in peace. You weren’t in pain.

Were the voices capable of reading minds? And who were they? You were a bit frightened.

To answer your question, yes we can read minds. We are the Guides, here to assist the souls in the afterlife. There’s no need to be afraid.

“Uh, okay, ...thank you?” You voiced out, still a little overwhelmed with whatever was going on.

Well then, perhaps we should take you to your choice. Please, follow the green path.

Just as the voices finished speaking, a sudden green line appeared in front of you. You couldn’t see what was ahead, just the green line until the end. You decided to follow through, whatever this was.

As you walked on the path, you were gradually transported to a different place. When you were finally able to understand your surroundings, there were screens that had different landscapes and writings in different colors under them. The scenes displayed were (what you could only describe as) heavenly. Each of them has its own set of vibe and warmth to it. Unconsciously your hand moved itself to touch one of the screens, but then the voices returned prompting you to pull it back.

What you see in front of you are the places in Paradise, according to how one lives their life on Earth, you have a series of options that you may choose from. I shall provide you a look-through.

The screens suddenly disappeared and now you were standing in what looked like those busy city streets, only not so busy.

First is the Silver City. Its appearance resembles the metropolitan areas down on Earth but without all the pollution, noises, and busy traffic. Many people who had used to live in these areas usually choose them, sensing a familiarity to it, they say.

As the Guides explained its landscapes, you were admiring the tall buildings and skyscrapers around you. The architectural designs were marvelous and even if you didn’t remember if you had studied such things, you can’t help but stare in admiration.

Aside from the buildings, the streets looked beautiful as well. The sidewalks were arranged perfectly as if it was placed with the most proper city planning. But one building stuck out to you most, it was majestic. A silver mansion, with tall gates and filled with all kinds of trees and plants. Before you could step towards it, the Guides were already finished explaining the Silver City and had transported you instead to another location.

Second, the Golden Countryside. As the name states, this place is best likely your ultimate countryside farm paradise. A quaint farmhouse with animal livestock to nurture and many forests to explore and spend time in. Families often choose this place for their resting, it’s quite homey.

True to their words, you couldn’t believe what you were seeing. It was a vast field of grass with a simple two-story house that looked like it could fit six bedrooms. Beside it was a giant farmhouse and animals roaming around it. The view itself was doubled in beauty as the sun (or whatever source of light that existed here) sets from behind, casting a soft orange glow over it. Somehow the silver mansion from earlier was placed way aside in your head. Yet again, before you could ask any questions, you were immediately transported once more.

The third is Cosmic Space. Ever wondered how it is to live in Space child?

You heard the voice give out a sound that was similar to a laugh, but somehow not quite.

More people than you’d expect actually dream of this. It may not be as simple as the City or the Countryside, but it’s nonetheless paradise. To them.

Now you were most definitely floating, though despite floating in the middle of random space, you could breathe easily and see easily as well. You thought that space may be too wild for you but as you were looking around, you saw one of the most magical things you have ever seen.

“A comet shower…”

The Guides seemed to have heard you as they projected the shower closer, now holographic space comets were right above you, shining as they continued the rain of them. Mesmerized was all you could feel, the meteors were almost hypnotizing you.

“Whoa…”

Beautiful isn’t it?

Was the last thing you heard before you felt the sudden pull of transport again, at this point you were no longer fazed with the continuous changing of locations, though you did wish to have been able to watch the shower longer.

Number four, the Pearl Waters. For those who favor the deep sea and vast oceans. Of course, many souls who felt close to the waves chose this. The afterlife here is often intriguing, staying with the many creatures and traveling wherever paradise takes you.

You found yourself standing on a deck of a ship, it was modernized though some parts resemble that of an older version. Heading to the flanks you watched the blue ocean as the waves sloshed around the sides. As if welcoming you, dolphins suddenly jumped above the sea, whalebacks spurting water, and schools of fish could be seen from the clear water. You were most surely amazed. As the sea creatures displayed a water show, you felt something touching your arm on the railing. You looked to find a woman with green-blue hair, her cheeks had features similar to scales, and as you peered further you realized it wasn’t a woman at all.

“A...mermaid?”

Ah yes, indeed. Each paradise also has guardians that help care and maintain the afterlife. Mermaids are the Pearl Waters guardians. As for the Silver City, we have the Elves. Golden Countryside has the Shapeshifters while Cosmic Space has Angels.

“Wait what?” You were pretty much confused all together, mythical creatures? Well, then again, it is the afterlife, who knows what actually exists here. But still, you found yourself in confusion and quite the shock.

Not to worry dear, you’ll have plenty of time to get acquainted. Now for our last destination.

The mermaid who was staring at your side gave you a small smile before disappearing back into the ocean. You continued to stare at her general direction before your view changed into that of...clouds?

Last but not the least, Heaven’s Cloud. It’s truly magical here. Not many people find it appealing though, but of course it always depends on who’s choosing. Essentially, it's the skies. The guardians here are the fairies and spirits. Quite the peculiar and very friendly creatures.

As your eyes set on the landscape, you couldn’t help but let out a gasp. It was breathtaking. It was as if you were standing right in front of the Sun but at the same time, you weren’t. You knew for one you’ve never been in a place like this yet all you could feel from the surroundings was home. You leaned down to touch the fluffy ground and it was the softest thing you’ve ever felt. As quickly as the previous location visits, the surroundings changed again back to their original place with screens.

Now _____, because of the well-lived life that you have gone through. You, _____, are given the choice of one of the five Paradises that you have just seen. Speak now for your choice.

You didn’t know if it was your own voice and mind that spoke, or your conscience, because the sound that erupted from your body sounded firm and almost unbreakable. You didn’t even realize that you had spoken your choice after it was said.

“Heaven’s Cloud if I may,”

The Guides paused for a moment as if they were thinking about something, before continuing.

Very well then, your heart has spoken. To Heaven’s Cloud, you shall go.

One last time, you were again transported to a field with white clouds, similar to the earlier landscape you visited. This time without the voices. Somehow you suddenly felt alone, scared, and unsure of what to do. Wandering aimlessly, you tried looking for the guardians - the fairies and spirits. Then you suddenly heard someone shout.

“Hey you! Hey!”

You turned back to see a man, brown fluffy hair swaying atop his head, running towards you. Well, was running, until he stumbled down and started rolling across the field.

“Oh my god! Are you okay?” you shouted before heading towards the boy. As you reached his side, you saw he was unhurt and fine, just squinting his eyes. You sighed in relief, although it should make sense, after all, it was clouds underneath them. Before you could say anything to the stranger, you caught him staring right at you, and somehow you stared back as well.

The boy looked mesmerizing.

[lostinfantasyworlds]

WIP Wednesday: Under the Northern Lights (coming soon!)

Summary (Modern AU): Kagome Higurashi has her dream job, working as a nature/wildlife photographer for the internationally well-known Yugen magazine. Her job whisks her all around the world, leaving her lonely sometimes but mostly just incredibly grateful to get paid to do what she loves. When she gets sent to northern Alaska for a month to photograph a series of celestial events, she runs into Inuyasha, a half-demon who lives on his own in the middle of nowhere. A mutual attraction draws them to each other, but Kagome's time there is limited. Will he ease her loneliness or only make it worse?

__________

I'm so excited about this story!! I've always loved night sky photography since I got my first DSLR, although I'm nowhere near good enough to photograph for a magazine - I can only dream 😂. Plus Yugen magazine is a concept I thought of in college for my Editorial Design class. So yes, this story is a little bit of a self insert on my part😆. But besides that, you can expect plenty of fluff and romance, as well as a nice dose of angst (don't worry - I believe in happy endings)!

I have no idea when I'll actually be ready to start posting this, but hopefully sometime in the next couple weeks.

Somehow there already existed the most perfect song to go along with this story. I still can't get over it. If you want to get the vibe, listen to Aurora Borealis by Bohnes (I'm so in love with it!). I'll be posting a full playlist (possibly one for each chapter because I'm extra AF) with the story 🥰

__________

Just a little disclaimer - I had not read any of Chasing the Vortex at the time when I wrote the outline for this story. I finally read it yesterday and realized how many accidental similarities there are in this story, so I apologize in advance @neutronstarchild and @fawn-eyed-girl ! I honestly didn't even know that Kagome was a photographer for a magazine in your story when I wrote this😆. I never want anyone to think I'm copying their ideas, so I just wanted to throw that out there that I’m sorry! I swear the stories are still very different despite certain similarities 🥰

Btw, if you're reading this and haven't read Chasing the Vortex yet, you definitely should! I'm loving it so far, it's SO good!! ❤️

_________

Tagging (let me know if you want on or off!): @alyyyyyssssaaa​​ @bluehawaiicat​​​ @born-for-eachother​​​ @deactivated2431545484​​ @goshinote​​​​ @gruviyasharuto​​​​ @julyzaa​​​​ @ladyaerilla​​​​ @littleredwritinghat​​​ @liz8080​​​ @malditamigs​​
​​ @neutronstarchild​​​​ @redflamesofpassion​​​​ @rocioanime4​​​​ @sailorlolo​​​​ @sangoslays​​​​ @sunsetskys​​​​ @superpixie42​​​​ @zukkosbaby​​

Preview under the cut! (Fluff with just a hint of angst)

The view was absolutely stunning, the sky covered in puffy clouds glowing with saturated reds, pinks, and yellows. The snowy landscape contrasted against the colorful sky, the jagged mountains providing a bold silhouette against the glowing crimson sun.

Even Inuyasha could admit that it was a particularly beautiful sunset. Unfortunately, he was having trouble paying any attention to it at all.

He found Kagome to be much more captivating.

He watched her silently as she worked, jogging around the area with her camera in hand, switching lenses and angles to capture different views. He was mesmerized by her, the way her passion for her craft oozed out of her as she clicked away, her eyes bright and a small smile on her face.

When the sun finally disappeared just below the horizon, she released her camera to hang from her neck and took a seat on the ground with her feet dangling over the edge of the rock face. Inuyasha sat down next to her.

“So, this was a good pick?” he asked.

“Mmhm! I don’t know if I’ve ever seen one quite as beautiful, and I’ve photographed a lot of sunsets. I’m so happy I got to capture that,” she responded, still a bit breathless. She turned to look at him with a beaming smile on her face, her blue eyes still sparkling with passion and excitement. The remaining light from the sunset cast a warm luster across her face, her cheeks and nose especially rosy from the biting chill in the air.

Inuyasha could have sworn his heart stopped for a moment. He had never seen someone glow like that before.

Damn it, why did she have to be so beautiful?

He tried to fight against the warm tingling bubbling up under his skin. He didn’t want to feel this way about her, knowing it was going to be pointless in the end.

But he also knew he was fighting a losing battle, the fuzzy feeling overpowering his better judgement.

Before he could stop himself, he blurted out, “Can I kiss you?”

He immediately felt embarrassment wash over him, his cheeks darkening with a deep blush.

Why did I have to go and ask that? Idiot!

Kagome’s smile fell only slightly, her brow furrowing in confusion.

“We’ve done a lot more than just kiss, Inuyasha.”

She smirked at him, as if reminding him of the obvious. He huffed slightly in annoyance.

How does she not get it?

Now he was not only embarrassed, he was also apparently going to have to spell it out for her.

“I know that, dummy.”

He rolled his eyes for emphasis, then hesitated a moment before continuing.

“I just meant — cause we’re out in public like this and all. We’re not in bed so I thought it might mean something different...”

He trailed off as he saw the realization finally dawn on her face. Her smile disappeared completely, her mouth falling open in a silent oh. Her eyes unfocused, staring past him as she processed what he meant.

Inuyasha turned away from her, unable to look at her anymore. He felt his ears flatten against his head as he began backtracking.

“Forget it. It was a stupid thing to say, I don’t know what I was thinking,” he mumbled.

Kagome tried to work through her thoughts as quickly as possible, not wanting to leave him hanging. She hadn’t even thought anything of his question at first, being more surprised than anything else that he had asked it seemingly out of the blue.

But he was right. If he kissed her right now, it would mean something different than the kisses they had shared so far. They had both agreed to “have some fun” with each other while she was in Alaska, with the mutual understanding that she was going to leave in a couple weeks and never see him again. It was a subtle difference, but kissing outside of sex felt like another dynamic entirely.

She knew she should say no. That they would be crossing an unspoken line, one that would surely hurt them more in the end.

But he had asked to kiss her, showing that he respected her choices and boundaries instead of just assuming he had an unlimited pass to her body now that they had slept together.

And the way he blushed when he asked made her feel warm all over.

And she really wanted to kiss him too.

Making up her mind, she rested a hand on his face to turn him back towards her, noticing his lips part in surprise. She kissed him softly, letting it linger a moment before pulling back and removing her hand. They smiled at each other, and she decided to take it one step further by holding out her hand, palm up, in between them. Inuyasha took the invitation, lacing his fingers through hers. Kagome sighed happily before resting her head on his shoulder and watching the last of the sun’s light slowly disappear.

They both felt the shift, like the joining of their hands went beyond the simple physical touch. It felt like they had leapt off a cliff together, her inevitable departure waiting for them at the bottom like jagged rocks with the power to break them. She knew it was probably one of the stupidest decisions she had ever made, and yet the butterflies in her stomach and her racing pulse told another story. She felt happy, and light. Better than she had felt in a long time, possibly even in her life.

Once the sky had darkened and stars began to twinkle above, Inuyasha turned to look at her again, his expression serious. His golden eyes searched her sapphire depths, not sure exactly what he was looking for. They looked at each other for another stretch of time, maybe a second, maybe an hour, before he leaned in and brought his lips to hers again.

[solarlilith]

Synastry and how it feels being planet, angle, house person Part1

Synastry is fusion of energy of two people. The most searched is synastry of couples or sexual chemistry synastry, although it may be applicable to any relationship - business, family or friendship. Here, we’re going to discuss about love affinity synastry based on experience, personal and research over of 150 people (so far).

The most common question in synastry is “HOW IT FEELS... to be planet/angle/house person” and there is a big reason WHY is asked. Since energy is dynamic force and has changeable modality, it absorbs and creates... it is not often too easy to catch it’s true nature described in one synastry. 

We can blame lack of knowledge (astrological) and taking the aspect interpretation for granted. In life all it matters is FLOW. This is a natural order. We can try to understand it not only by mind, but with heart - soul/inner being/gut..whatever. 

That’s why many  astrolovers  don’t understand why, for example,  VENUS 0 MARS (conjunction) doesn’t work as described in many astrological sources, why you don’t feel that intense consuming passion, wild urge that wet your panties, or at least it’s not mutual.

......................................

...............................................................

Boring part for lazy astrolovers but important 

1. - To know the nature or entity of synastry it is important to know yourself. Be assured that EVERY SINGLE aspect in your natal chart - like it or not - you will FEEL in some point of life.  So, our Natal chart is not just screenshot of transit, of energy of the moment or just your life events. It is hermetic principle in it’s whole existence. AS ABOVE - SO BELOW. AS WITHIN SO WITHOUT. So, having in mind that we all contain microcosmos inside of us, the outside world is our reflection. 

2. - know yourself and do it daily. With consciousness, love and acceptance. We change and evolve. 

3. Having in natal chart any notorious aspect as Venus square Saturn, Mars opposition Saturn, Moon square Mercury it is not a same thing if you operate on mundane, primitive level or you have some degree of self consciousness and FEEL the world within and out yourself.

This energy still exists but in different manner.  And I’ll write about that in another topic. 

.....................................

........................

Back to the synastry and how someone is feeling having some placement triggered by other’s energy:

1.Basic rule - PLANET has it’s own vibe and being in specific house in Natal chart - it has extra flavor. When that planet jumps into someone’s house it brings that energy mixed with house person energy.

2. CHART ruler extremely important. It must have connection with your essential planets and points in your own chart. 

3. House angles and their rulers too.

4. TRANSITS are triggers. Doesn’t matter if you have perfect synastry if timing is not right.

.................

EXAMPLE 1:

Someone’s Mars in Gemini in 5th house - player, joyful, easy to arouse person becomes guest in your 6th house (health, duty, job, bypass between fun 5th and marriage/contract/open enemies 7th house), you have a situation:

-house person feels sex vibe from that person, it’s natural expression and wants that energy, but also wants to direct that energy into something with purpose- 6th house ruled by Virgo. Everything must have purpose. IT’s not a consciousness THING, it is our gravity and this is what pulls planet energy out.

- Mars person gets transformed into 6th house. It is still playful, but in manner to be someone that helps you to get in shape, takes genuine care of your health, mental and psychical. This Mars wants you to become better, to improve you. Still, there is some kind of attraction, because he is naturaly in tune with erotic, but he doesn’t accept you in raw manner as he would in 1st or 8th house - here - HE SHAPES YOU. It can be so exciting.

What would be product of that energy exchange depends of other inter aspects and condition of house ruler, in this case Mercury.

EXAMPLE 2:

If you want sexy Mars Venus conjunction it is not enough to just have it in intense Scorpio or sensual Taurus, or in 8th house. I have couple of examples where I couldn’t feel that connection, except in one case:

- His natal Mars in Virgo is in 12th house with Jupiter and NN and all that conjuncts my Venus in my 8th house. So my Venus (being in his deep 12th house) was instantly from the 1st look upon his face mesmerized.  His Venus in conjunct with my ASC (so we both feel nice in each others presence)

Here 8th Venus in conjunction with Mars becomes catcher, or pursuer...but in Virgo terms.. subtle :D Mars is passive, observant. Even the energy is strong and evident - it takes a stroke from Above to move two Earths!

Other guy had Mars in my 8th house which is his chart ruler and he is deeply moved by Venus.  Since my Venus is guest on his 6th house cusp, it’s friendly but here Virgo being amplified - not so turned on. 

If Venus is afflicted it may bring obsession, moodiness, dependency, lack of selfesteem or Venusian characteristics disorted. 

EXAMPLE 3:

. Having someone’s luminary (Sun, Moon) in your 4th house and (or) your 12th house - you will always have some deep connection with that person and forgive him/her more than you would for someone else. 

This angle house is sensitive place, it is your warm place, naturally ruled by Cancer in modern astrology. This is your “feels like home” place - physically or emotionally. Sun or Moon person feels your warmth and acceptance, but surely has it’s way to rub your buttons on the wrong way or even take advantage of your flexibility to forgive them. Even if you break up relationship, even when you’re angry, still this person would have some special place in your heart. Even (s)he hurt you and broke in 1000 pieces, still you would somehow have a nice words for him. This is unconditional love, but you can love and be distant - for your sake :)

[retvenkos]

not asking you who you'd ship me with in the grishaverse because at this point everyone on tumblr knows the answer to that probably (though any chance of getting more of your wonderfully divine headcanons about matthias & I is a chance I gleefully take), but since you are shipping everyone I have to tell you that I've been thinking about Mal & you together for a little while. I just see it so clearly??

I think you'd have a relationship quite like Alina and Mal's, except healthier and less dramatic lol. but Mal is the epitome of friends to lovers and to me you embody exactly that. you're not the unbridled fury that enemies to lovers can be nor the bittersweet inevitability of soulmates, but really this idea of familiarity and comfort that you only unlock after spending a lot of time with a person, probably in childhood. Mal would represent exactly that to you: home, family, and love, and you're not really sure how or when you realize that it's not the same love you used to feel at Keramzin, that your feelings have shifted in the most terrifying yet beautiful way, but they have.

so in this scenario if you are Grisha, you get tested and your powers found out and you get sent to the Little Palace and your goodbyes with Mal are probably the most tearful moment Ravka has ever seen. You're holding on to Mal for dear life because he's really your family and you don't want to leave him behind, they're taking you to an unknown place without him, and you're so scared - but Mal tries to hold it all together because he has to be strong for you, and promises he will write to you every day and you will never truly be separated because he'll find you when he's older and strong.

(as soon as the carriage leaves he locks himself in the dormitory and cries all evening on his bed because your absence is so loud in these silent halls)

Inevitably years pass as you continue your training and Mal's letters become more scarce - sometimes you're the one who forgets to reply for a whole month, sometimes it's him - until you're not in touch anymore but you don't forget him, you never do, and you dream of him so often and all the words you wish you could tell him but never got the courage to

Until one day, almost a decade later, he is received at the Grand Palace for a particularly triumphant feat of his (Mal, always the hero) and the King wants to meet the First army soldier everyone is talking about, and you happen to run into him as he's trying to find his way to the audience room (because how stupidly huge are these Os Alta palaces, really?) And you literally can't believe your eyes.

so you'd be getting the childhood friends to lovers reunited after losing contact for many years which is TOP TIER romance

and Mal has changed obviously but not so much, and so have you; and he's taken aback by your beauty in your purple Kefta, and suddenly all the petty and insulting stereotypes about the Second Army he used to joke about with his regiment friends leave his mind because Saints - who needs a Sun Summoner when you're glowing like all the stars in the sky?

you'd quickly fall back into your common habits because they never left you, they're second nature at this point - Mal has basically forged your personality from the youngest age and you have his, and you fit together so perfectly

he'd be assigned to a more permanent post in Os Alta thanks to his prowesses in battle, maybe as the King's personal guard, meaning you'd get to spend so much time together

People would raise eyebrows at the sight of a couple between the two rival armies, but you don't care one bit - your love for Mal runs in your blood much deeper than arbitrary oppositions based on foolish pride.

If you're not Grisha, I don't think you'd join the First Army; war is probably not for you. I think your paths would separate too when he joins the Army and you leave the orphanage with what little money you saved over the years (sneaking out of Keramzin and reciting or singing your poems on the streets for a little bit of coin, or selling the meat and fur Mal would hunt for you) to move to a bigger city and try to do something with your life. You could be an artisan, or another kind of shopkeep! I can see you being manually gifted and creative, so you'd probably have an artsy business in the capital, like pottery or tapestry or painting on porcelain or something of the sort

and once again Mal is called to Os Alta probably for the same reasons - he just can't help distinguishing himself in combat, can he? - and he steps into your shop by total chance, and he's like. Olive???? Since when do you do sculptures???? And you're like. Malyen Oretsev???? Since when are you taller than me????

(Though the sculpture part doesn't surprise him that much, because you were always so creative and gifted in the arts, and he's always admired you so much for it.)

(But the TALL part??? ok, you are short, but you left him when he was like, thirteen and he was Not That Tall. how can your forever friend have grown that tall so fast???)

And so you ALSO get the long-lost childhood friends rekindle and fall back in love trope because my heart goes mushy for it ❤

your dynamic would be on point, because Mal knows you better than anyone and so he can read you like an open book. Either when he needs to find the teasing comment that will get you all riled up, or when he senses your discomfort or sadness and has to find the words to cheer you up.

You'd just make so many sweet memories with Mal, and he'd be down for every single thing you want to do as long as he gets to spend time with you. Want to be rambunctious on the streets of Os Alta and pull pranks on passerbys like you are 8 again? Yep, can totally do that. Feel like breathing in the fresh air of the wilderness and getting out of town to see a beautiful sunset, like you would in Keramzin? Of course! Just want to chill together doing your own thing and relishing in each other's presence? Absolutely.

he loves when you read to him, whether that be a book you own or a story straight from your imagination that you just wrote, and he's absolutely mesmerized by your voice and how much emotion you put in it. (though he can't help himself from making little jokes every now and then or trying to guess what will happen next in the story because he's what my mom calls a Culo Inquieto™)

you'd generally be such a cute couple who never lost that mischievous but oh so comforting and familiar spark from when you were kids, and is willing to stay with the other through thick and thin. you've found your other half in each other and I'm so soft for that. 💜💜

sorry I rambled but I just think that idea is so cute and you deserve a ship! (also, don't even get me started on the Chaos BFF Duo you would make with Jesper...) my head is killing me so I won't write any more but just know I hold this ship in extremely high regard. <3

clara, i will have you know i waited until i got ice cream in order to read this, because i knew it would be an experience™ and now, i,,, 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i'm so goddamn soft, how dare you make me yearn????

you mean to tell me you came up with all of this... for me? you think of ships for me??? how—how dare? how dare you be such a good friend, to the point where i am baffled by your kindness??? how dare you be this thoughtful and poetic,,,,,,, and just, big brained, ma'am.

because all of this is so perfect!!!! ohmygod i'm soft. i'm in love. everytime you write a ship or fanfic, i sincerely wish i was a romantic like you so i could have a proclivity toward fathoming such soft romantic scenes,,,,, you, clara, know how to do a ship™.

(also, i have to say i love the childhood friends torn apart, only to come back together,,,, it has laughter lines by bastille energy,,,, listen to this song and tell me it doesn’t have the same vibes that that very specific and heartwarming trope,,,)

but, since you gave me such a beautiful gift, and since i would do anything for you, here are some more headcanons for you and matthias:

first of all, i think that you and matthias would spend a lot of time finding the beauty in small things. i think that it would be good for him, since he’s reevaluating who he is and his place in this grand world, and i think since you’re a romantic, small things would be important to you both.

— for example, you guys definitely star gaze together. it’s hard, since you are in ketterdam and the smoke is impossible to see through, but maybe you guys leave ketterdam for a while, and you spend a lot of time looking up at the stars. matthias loves to learn about everything you know, and repositioning himself underneath the sky is a good start to figuring out who he is. 

— you also like to sit by the water and talk. there’s something about the water that pulls memories from you both. matthias talks about what it was like, far away, in his little village before the drüskelle. (i get the feeling his dad was a fisherman or something,,,, the vibes are there), and you get to talk about people you once knew, dreams you once had. point is, you do a lot of talking - swapping stories and hopes.

— oh! another idea i can’t get out if my head is that matthias asks you so many questions. i feel like it’s a sign of real love and trust, when matthias starts asking you questions, because you have to be like,,, level 50 in order for matthias to admit weaknesses, and one of his biggest is that there’s so much he just doesn’t know. i think you also get really good at just,,,, telling him stuff so that he doesn’t have to ask, and he really just appreciates it.

i also just love the idea of matthias giving you to strongest hugs, or tbh, just holding you, and it’s all because he’s the big, strong one™! you know he’s got a protector complex, so that kind of feeds into his hugs,,, just that intense need to protect you, but also, he’s deathly terrified of losing another person he cares about, so he clings. (but only when you’re alone. the drüskelle in him is too Proud, but if you hang onto him in public,,,, he’s not complaining, just getting used to it)

okay, but i got a little bit ahead of myself, because i didn’t even talk about when you guys first meet, and the whole dynamic that is that™

— so, clearly, you are bffs with nina, whether your a grisha or not, and since i want fluff oNLY we’re just going to pretend like helnik didn’t happen,,,,,, they’re just friends. anyway, she’s the first one to pick up on your feelings for matthias because a) heartrender, and b) you two are the best of friends, and she just knows.

— and so you know a lot of teasing ensues, and almost everyone gets in on it and constantly makes jokes about you and matthias,,,, sometimes while he’s right. there. you’re Mortified But Coping™ and you can’t imagine what is going on through matthias’ head, because there’s no way he can feel the same, right?

— wRONG, we’re all idiots when we’re in love, and no one is more of an idiot than matthias. he is definitely ~soft~ for you but refuses to let it show because (1) the dregs are crass and he doesn’t want to give them fodder, and (2) you seem very uncomfortable about this whole thing, and he doesn’t want to make it worse

after some time, the teasing dies down, because both of you are too boring to tease. it would be funny if one of you freaked out, but you’re just,,,, suffering in silence. boring. and besides, inej and kaz are way more funny to tease. have you seen the murder in both of their eyes whenever you mention anything??? scary, but golden.

for the most part, the jokes die off, and i think after the jokes stop, you and matthias become much more comfortable with one another, and it leads to so! many! good! moments! 

— did i ever tell you matthias is in love with your stupid humor? your enchanting laughter? you’re so infectiously light and it makes him feel like he’s walking on clouds or something,,,,, he’s enchanted by you, but doesn’t have the words to explain it. 

— you know he remembers all of the little things his dad used to say about his mom,,,, and he feels all of that awed respect and soft warmth for you, but what to do with it???? he can’t really remember what his parents would do - it’s been so long and cold without them, but he tries to remember, and it’s the little things he does. he’ll tell you something really sweet in fjerdan and you’re just like ??? but it doesn’t translate super well, so you’re just left with the way he said it, and it means the world (plus, if you really get the courage, you can ask nina to explain it,,,, fair warning though, she scoffs at it every time. because it’s fjerda, alright?)

— you definitely end up reading him some poetry. it’s all under the guise of him ‘learning about the beauty in other cultures’ but really, it’s just an excuse to read him romantic shu poetry (they really know how to do it, let me tell you). and you also end up telling him stories about your childhood and your life, and he finds your rambling so adorable. especially since he has seen your work on paper! he finds it so sweet that your mind is so full of life that it wants to go everywhere at once, and experience every possible detail.

— you definitely end up showing matthias his way around ketterdam, and he keeps all of your hastily drawn maps, and whenever he goes past a street corner, he remembers the way your eyes sparkled in the light of the streetlamps.

i definitely have the feeling that you confess your feelings first. matthias has been trying to get the courage to do it, but he just can’t, and one day you tell him late at night - when, for just a moment, the world is still and quiet, and you can’t hold in all that warmth in your chest. you’re a little shy about it, but so is he, and when he hears you confess, all he can do is smile, because you have all of the confidence and strength he wishes he had. and all that courage laced in his chest, he’s learned it from you.

that’s ll i got for now, but i believe in clara x matthais supremacy.

[voidcat]

– the sea and to see

characters: oikawa tooru/gn!reader

wc & genre: 1.6k - comfort :-)

a/n: another finals week where i write an oiks comfort<3 society if i didnt begin oikawa comfort fics everytime i felt down bc i have so many wips.. 

i dont rmr where i wanted this to go but i can’t find any other way to finish so ye,, also!! mentions of drinking, similar vibes to stardust on reader’s state of mind

One step, another and another.

Without looking around, you know where you are, wishing you didn’t. (but there’s nothing to be done about that now.)

Looking left and right, checking in case any familiar face is around, you sink to the ground, regret already filling your ears. A voice whispers and it’s right. This is a bad idea, one of your most stupid ones but then again, you’ve been making a bit too many of these lately.

It’s late but not too late. You weight the option to knock the door and decide against it. You need to get your thoughts straight and make up a plan, and hopefully convince yourself to get up and leave. But it never comes as your head between your hands, you doze off far far away and forget you’re ever there, lost somewhere in space.

You snap back with a shake, or a nudge on your shoulder. It feels different, a shadow over your vision, weather a bit colder now.

The shadow moves and you realize. 

Note to self to never zone out again to avoid further falling asleep out in the open public. And as this passes by your eyes, he shuffles on his feet, possibly waiting for an explanation or at least a little bit of your attention on you. So you look up and he scrunches his nose in reply, the same stern look, cold eyes and disapproving face you see all too often.

A minute passes. Or maybe it’s a second or five, you’re not sure. You haven’t been good with time, not before and certainly not now. Letting out a breath, hands hanging from both sides you slowly begin to get up.

Once your mouth open, your words sound quieter than you’d like, and slower too. You must’ve slept for a while.

“Look, if you’re wondering why I’m sitting by your door, at god knows what o’clock, never mind it, just forge-“

“All I care about is you moving your ass right now.” He says (rudely interrupts your sentence) and you want to roll your eyes at him, so you do.

He only looks more annoyed now.

“You’re blocking the door.”

Oh, right…

The keys clink to one another, dance in the air for a while and do not struggle in the hole, get in and turn without a trouble, get out without a break. Even his door opens as smoothly as him.

This, only makes it worse.

“Yes, ‘oh’, so if you have nothing else to say, I’d like to rest.” Oikawa says as he steps in, and you cannot help but worry, again, even though it’s stupid and there’s no logical reason for you to get upset over his rudeness, because really… Isn’t this how the two of you go back and forth almost daily? Isn’t it given? The norm?

Except for some nights, comes that whisper again, and you want to argue back: ‘Weren’t you the one who told me this was a bad idea from the start?’

The jingling noise of the keys snap you out of your head again and you find Oikawa still standing at the edge of the door, waiting. For you to say something, you realize and you shake your head. Because this was a stupid idea from the very start.

But your brain disagrees; as Oikawa can tell from a single look at you that you’ve been doing it again, arguing with yourself and as you make a turn to leave, you feel your muscles move and speak: Can I come in?

But his body acts before you do and already makes way, not a comfortable enough space, for you.

This is, albeit, not the first time you’ve seen Oikawa in a different light but the moments are few and rare, it doesn’t take more than one hand to count them all.

The first time is in an awfully shitty, dim and almost orange-ish light. Maybe it’s yellow, you don’t recall well but the plaster on the walls make it seem like those pumpkins. It’s a mundane night, not one to stand out, the nearest liquor shop further away than the nearest bar and god, you really need that drink and it’s late at night.

And the first thing you have see upon stepping in, has to be a badly disguised Oikawa. Body language enough can tell he’s trying his very good to blend in, sitting in the far back but as always, he somehow radiates. The looks of many on his crunched shadowed figure, looking so strange to the man he often is in the day time.

And you make no noise as you enter. No bell on the door, no bartender to greet you as you get inside, everyone too busy dwelling in their self to even glance your way yet as if in script, like you’ve practiced this many times before, he looks up, his face unclear of emotion.

You sit by the bar and opt to ignore him.

The second time, doesn’t quite go like this. Not the third, the fourth and the nth…

Next thing you know, Oikawa Tooru provides to be an amazing drinking buddy.

He doesn’t participate in the drinking bit that often but he’s respectful of your resigned silence and you of his. There lays mutual respect for whatever it is you’re both in.

Those nights don’t start off bad so often but you never know, not really. But the endings start to get… calmer, neutral, you can feel yourself numbing to the feeling but your burden lightened.

It’s those nights that you forget how Oikawa is like in the day time, how the two of you are like. You decide, you like this Oikawa more, he feels different, his silence comes different. Even the way he still has everyone in the room’s atention on him, many at bay to be at his feet on a single command, mesmerized by his sole presence and still it’s not like how it is when the sun is up. The self stuck up behavior you’re so used to seeing is gone, no cocky smiles, no pride in his eyes, the glint is his eyes now empty.

It feels alien.

Yet you feel closer to this version of him, even if it doesn’t exist often.

Hearing the keys jiggling against one another, you’re back again. No doubt you dozed off, not even for just a minute this time.

More like time paused and a film going through your eyes as if you’re watching a show, seeing a flashback scene to clear things out.

Oh how you wish that’s how it was; easy.

But reality is cruel and things are barely clear. So you have to blindly swim in the dirty water or like a fish writhe in a poodle, desperate for some water.

Standing at the entrance, you wait.

He comes back soon after, clothes changed, a glass of water in his hand, head slightly titled and walks to the couch.

So you follow.

It doesn��t feel as foreign to be alone with him under proper lights, on a nice couch that smells nice. But considering how they are both places strangers to you, it’s no surprise.

Water left untouched, Oikawa’s gaze is on you but neither makes a move. Not a single car passes by, no sound can be heard from outside, it’s too quiet, compared to the places you’ve been at the same as him. It feels eerie.

Making your own noise sounds better in your head, so you focus on your breathing, on his, the tapping of your fingers against your leg, the shuffling of his shirt at his every move…

“Listen…” you take a breath. “I didn’t mean to, you know, barge in.” Breathe out. “I don’t… don’t even know how I got here frankly and-“

“You don’t have to apologize.” Jerk, you think, who said anything about an apology?

“I had to come here wth you once, I guess you weren’t as black out as I assumed that night.”

What you meant to say long forgotten, you find yourself on alert. “How come?”

“I drove you to your place?” It sounds more like a question, to check if you remember.

“Why would you do that?” your words, your voice sound foreign to you, a tone you haven’t heard in too long.

He just shrugs in a “why wouldn’t I?” way.

Your fingers intervened, eyes somewhere on the edge of the glass, you go back to the silence moments ago. It doesn’t feel as quiet now, as sound filled the air once, as your thoughts start to get loud in unspeakable manner, words in a language that never existed.

He seems as lost, not as deep in as you maybe, but still lost, just better at concealing with a smile.

“So what brings you here?”

You hear but do not grasp, it sounds too far away. Ears and throat filled, lungs numb and limbs cold, every sound is behind a veil, except for the beating of your hear echoing in your ears, in a last attempt, the pressure driving you mad.

“Hey.” He reaches again, this time placing a hand on your shoulder, barely touching but enough to pull you out. Just like feeling the sun on your skin for the first time in a long while, eyes sting and your skin itches, the wind feels too cold and a shiver goes down. But your body relaxes, lungs still intact, the pressure disappearing with each beat.

“Are you okay?”

Head shaking and arms around you, you don’t register. It always felt like this, it always feels like this, drowning and gasping for air, desperate to hold on to something but everything slips away and in a final attempt, limbs grow tired, your body exhausted.

“I didn’t want to be alone tonight.” You don’t hear yourself say.

The weight on the couch shifts. “Do you want some water?” you barely hear him say.

There’s no taste of salt to dry your insides, feeling refreshed for the first time in a while, you can open your eyes without a much trouble.

tags: @celosiiaa​ @ywanfen​

[thesunlounge]

Reviews 370: Coyote

I have been mostly absent as of late due to the pressures of completing my PhD studies, but now that the work there is finishing, I am trying to return to regular reviewing. And for months and months now, one of the records I’ve most wanted to discuss has been Coyote’s Buzzard Country, released last year on their home station Is it Balearic? Recordings. In fact, my delay has been so extreme that, not only has Coyote released an accompanying Buzzard Country Remixes 12”—which I will cover here as well—they have also dropped the incredible Return to Life 12”, and even announced a new 2xLP slated for the summer called The Mystery Light. But better late than never, and there is no way I can pass up the chance to at last write in depth about the music of Timm Sure and Ampo. I say “at last” because, despite the fact that I consider Coyote amongst my very favorite recording artists, you would be forgiven for not knowing that by scanning the Sun Lounge archives. Though I’ve had opportunity to discuss their work here and there via remixes (such as on Blank & Jones’ Relax: The Sunset Sessions 2 and Joe Morris’ Cloud Nine 12”), by some strange turn of fate, Coyote has released no vinyl of their own since this blog’s inception...something that only changed very recently. Indeed, prior to 2020, the last time the duo put out solo works on wax was their stunning 2016 run, which included the Song Dogs LP, the Fight the Future 12” on Clandestino, and the seventh EP in their long running self-titled series on Is It Balearic? Which is not to say they weren’t active, and in fact, Timm Sure and Ampo delivered a really great set of digital singles and EPs in collaboration with Music for Dreams, and additionally, they remained active with remix and DJ work. As well, Buzzard Country was due quite a bit earlier than 2020, but was unfortunately plagued by production delays. To at last get to the point, this is all a roundabout way of saying that I am really excited to have plenty of Coyote to write about now and in the future, so that I can finally pay proper tribute to this foundational duo of the modern balearic beat. 

As I’ve explored the balearic soundworld, Ampo and Timm Sure have always been beacons of light guiding me on my path, whether through their eclectic productions as Coyote, through the curation of Is It Balearic?, Über, and the Magic Wand edit series, or through their mixes and DJ sets, which are typically loaded with unheard treasures that lean towards the trippier and dubbier ends of the chill out spectrum. And it is this tendency towards the psychoactive that most endears me to Coyote, for the duo have always championed an authentic balearic spirit, one that foregrounds the music’s connections to the hippie hedonist heydays of Ibiza, to the second summer of love, and to a spirit of ecstatic abandon, one that is equally imbued with a magical sense of melancholy…of a feeling of being in paradise, but knowing it can’t last…as if the moments of revelatory magic—of wild nights dancing and sunrise comedowns—are tempered in real-time with senses of longing and regret. Which brings me finally to Buzzard Country, Coyote’s fifth full-length LP and a pitch-perfect encapsulation of their signature mixture of wistful melodic nostalgia and daydream seaside grooving. Across the album, baggy beats morph between downbeat disco, stoner dub, and world exotica while bottom heavy basslines work the body. Echoing vocal samples thread around hand drums tapestries, emotional washes of synthesis flow over radiant piano chords, and at crucial moments, the exotica guitar flourishes of longtime collaborator Saro Tribastone carry the mind away to lands of faraway fantasy. As for the Buzzard Country Remixes 12”, the A-side is given over to the Hardway Brothers, who brilliantly transform the album’s “Sun Culture” into varying landscapes of ultra deep Chain Reaction style dub wizardry. Then on the B-side, Woolfy vs. Projections and Max Essa respectively flip album stand outs “Shimmer Dub” and “Ranura de Marihuana” into their own specific strains of equatorial dancefloor euphoria, with each remix pushing the mind, body, and spirit towards maximal beach boogie mania. 

Coyote - Buzzard Country (Is It Balearic? Recordings, 2020) “Soaring” begins with buzzard calls and hovering breaths of synthesis evoking a new dawn. Ripples form in the ether via bubbling squarewave synth leads, and pulsating dub bass sits beneath a blanket of sighing strings. The carrion calls continue streaking through the mix and celestial pianos rain down while echoing playfully across the spectrum. Plucked bass electronics bounce in counterpoint and hesitate woodwind glimmers call to mind flashing laser lights beneath a beautiful sea surface…almost as if a flute has been transmuted into a rapid fire fractal vibration. At times the strings back away, leaving layers of rainbow colored ocean ambiance to flutter and dance, all before ending with white noise delay oscillations that mimic the swell of ocean waves. Then in “Soft Top Saab,” an echo-soaked voice muses on the sunrise, with chills running down the spine as the solar affirmations are increasingly surrounded by space age string synths, and by Sara Tribastone’s mystical guitar filigrees. Reversing melodies enter the spectrum and swell the heart while shakers and tambourines hold a gentle beat. Tribastone’s guitar serenades softly overhead, with plucked textures of synthetic wood and stone dancing in the background. Further delay-laced pianos fade into view, with the track ebbing and flowing…growing and receding…and sometimes backing down into understated back and forth between guitar and piano, wherein harmonious brass layers and swells of spectral space glitter moving at the periphery. The result is a conversational interchange between seaside melancholy and romantic nostalgia, one which is eventually superseded by cosmic flutters, soft six string dances, and the spoken spells of a reggae mystic, who gives thanks to the sun, and its bounty of restorative light.

Dusty acoustic guitars and sunrise vapors introduce “Shimmer Dub,” while dancing dub bass portends the first real taste of a groove. A rocking hypno-rhythm comes into focus and laid back snares guide the infectious glide, while tablas roll overhead and evocative vocal layers thread through the mix. Steel pan synths are seen through the titular shimmer and wavering wavefronts of blurred melody wash over everything, until the mix drops down into a haze of stoned exotica comprised of a minimalist pallet of tabla rhythms, bleary-eyed pads, and thrilling vocal incantations…the effect like awakening on the shores of some faraway ocean paradise, with visages of desert caravan rituals preceding in the distance. The dubbed out groove eventually resurges, with passages given over to extended echo percussion experiments and the fragile songs of tropical idiophones. Feminine vocals glow like some intoxicating gas of multi-hued magic, and springy basslines guide the body while hi-hats and snare work through a psychedelic skank. Smoldering currents of ether move through the stereo field and moments of subtle intensity erupt from the horizontal vibe out…with airy woodwinds shrouded in static, claps cracking, and hand drums creating webs of groove mesmerism. And as the beat starts to vaporize, echo oscillations set the air aflame amidst fantasy orchestrations.

“Ranura de Marihuana” bathes in echo acoustic guitars that seem beamed in from some distant past…these evocations of classical folk music futurized via layers of fx. An ecstatic scream washes the mix clean, and a four-to-the-floor kick drum emerges to pound in the void, while overhead, Flamenco-indebted guitars spin webs of magic and reverberating vocals call to the spirits of sea and sky….sometimes whispering, other times shrieking wildly into the night. Sub-earthen bass movements are felt more than head, with exotic dub lines moving far beneath the surface. Bongos and congas pop and nervous shaker patterns lead the downbeat disco strut, while guitars work through further Mediterranean hooks and Iberian flourishes. A moment is given over to heavy bass and kaleidoscopic hand percussion–with scatting vocals, reverberating snaps, and lost souls wailing in desperation–and when the groove snaps back, there are touches of tango kissing the preceding, which bring to mind a rose-in-mouth glide across some dark and mysterious dancefloor, wherein spindly psych folk guitar melodies work the mind and airy drum rhythmics entrance the body. The kick climbs back towards dancefloor strength, with desert mystic percussions moving all around the mix and vocals morphing though fever dream echo layers. Elements from across the track refract through oscillating delay machines, and touches of rave haunt the rhythms, especially as subsonic basslines and subdued breakbeats work together.

A single piano note brings light to the darkness in “Sun Culture” and layers of radiance rain down in the form of heart-melting piano chordscapes, with some of that Screamadelica soul bliss suffusing the progressions. Warming pads envelope everything and deep dub pulses walk down white sand beaches, with shakers and lysergic breaths giving shape to the groove. Hi-hats, snare taps, and beachside bongos enter and buzzing guitar notes give off waves of golden light while overhead, liquids drip from the roofs of ocean cliff caverns. The single piano note continues to glow while souflul chords hold the mind in a state of psychedelic rapture, and space age ethers blind all vision as they spread outwards, then recede. Coyote move the track progressively towards a state of horizontal bliss, with almost everything washing away except the summery piano incantations, which are so soaked in reverb as to generate billowing cloudforms with every single note. Hushed rhythms return and hand drums take on a slight sense of urgency while pads generate layers of oceanic warmth, resulting in an audial invitation to greet the rising sun, and a naturalistic tribute to crashing waves and drifting clouds.

Intergalactic pads breath in “Dos Canas,” with tones wispy and suffused with inner light. Palm-muting electric guitars dance like bubbles through the ocean blue, and a touch of kosmische ambiance is soon tempered by bulbous dub basslines and splayed out layers of percussion, wherein the mechanic and organic merge seamlessly. Electroid sketches and seed shakers move in time as a slow and low balearic skank emerges, with glorious tones of brass pulsing overhead before ascending to the heavens on currents of humid tropical air. Hand drums circle the mix as the heavy atmospheres recede, leaving vaporous rhythms and golden synth strands to intertwine. Heartwarming chords give off mirage shimmers as the dub bass works its way back in, bringing with it further layers of world drum delirium. Soft sirens pan before giving way to more of the ascendent brass synthesis, and hisses of white noise add layers of subtle psychotropia. Snares are blasted into bursts of desert sand and all throughout the mix, various strands of melody and harmony are caught within oscillating delay cycles…progressively distorting and roaring into the ether. Shakers and 16th note hi-hats lead the groove while bongos and idiophones dance playfully against the snare and kick, until it all breaks down into an ambient outro of serene static, sighing strings, and layers of phasing rainbow light.

“Feedback Valley” closes the show with synth incantations portending the glow of a glorious sunrise, while shakers generate an infectious shuffle. Tribastone and his acoustic guitar explore Flamenco landscapes and a four-four kick drums hits against the body while layers of synthesis radiate compelling colorations. Babbling voices ride a serpentine synth sequence and touches of acid bass move in support, with cut-off filters opening as the snare drops, creating a head-nodding and body bopping groove that lifts the spirit towards the sky. The sequential electronics are so effective as they bob and weave through the mix, creating an effortless vibe of beach dance perfection…of hands-in-the-air euphoria and the abandonment of all worry or fear. Additional touches of six string sunshine push the mind every towards the shores of Ibiza and during a breakdown into burning delay feedback, synthesizers filter into solar squelch and guitars drift towards psychedelic delirium. A slow yet anthemic snare roll calls to mind big room trance as it brings the groove back into focus, now with 3D synth snaps firing in the left ear as the ever-present sequence reduces to a calming purr. Tribastone continues letting loose threads of sunshine lysergia and points of synthetic light swell into magnificent globes of blinding incandenscence. And towards the end, an echo-shrouded choir of the sea sings beneath a brief guitar fantasia before it all washes away in a scream of oscillation.

Coyote - Buzzard Country Remixes (Is It Balearic? Recordings, 2021) The Hardway Brothers take “Sun Culture” into ultra-deep territory across two versions on the A-side, with the first being the very aptly named “Balearic Channel Remix”…which is of course a reference to the work of Mark Ernestus and Moritz von Oswald. Underground warehouse kick drums pound beneath hissing space fluids, as a low down Chain Reaction-style groove emerges, though with its eyes locked on a melting sunset panorama. Liquiform chords flow into cold industrial caverns and string synths suffuse the reverberating spaces with splashes of sunshine, while sub bass motions vibrate the soul. Shadowy tracers flit across the sky and DMT vibrato waves squiggle at hyperspeed, yet their effect is blunted and muted. Claustrophobic clouds fade in then out while melodic piano chordstrokes reflect in strange ways off of glowing walls of stone, their effect like gemstones glimmering underwater, yet with their luster sanded away by the march of time. Muted dub chords are caught in crackling delay chains and the deep kicks and jacking bass never relent in their heads down, hands-in-the-air stomp. Snares are reduced to a whisper and shaker patterns cause head-bobbing hypnotism as funky chords bring touches of liquid fusion grooving…only as if proceeding in the middle of a dub techno fever dream. Insectoid chitters move in from all corners of the mix, sawing sirens swirl into screams of feedback, and all the while, drum circle flourishes are shattered into a web echoing delirium.

Next comes Sun Culture “(Hardway Brothers Meet Monkton Uptown),” which sees the bass going even deeper somehow, as growling riddims menace the mind and rattle the ribcage. We soon find ourselves in another subaquatic dub techno dopamine dream, wherein kick, snare and hi-hat lock in for maximal hypnotic effect. Sometimes the bass guitar of Duncan Gray seems to take on a post-punk drug chug edge, and at some point, the rhythms pull away, leaving chopped up voices to decay into the void. Bassline and beats return and streaks of feedback sing softly over everything, while fogs of seafoam move at the outer edges of the stereo field. Clouds of solar static are seen from millions of miles away and traces of flamboyant fuzz guitar are submerged into a pooling vortex of deep dub delirium, emerging stretched out and mutated into currents of neon starshine. Gray's melodic basslines serenade through the underground club grooves, those funky chords return to sing their 70s fusion songs within layers of sighing feedback, and increasingly, the mix is overwhelmed by distorted blasts of drug-induced haze. Abstracted voices filter from one ear to the other…their unintelligible spells of esoteric mystery pushing the mind ever further towards astral activation. And towards the ends, the original tracks Primal Scream-style piano chord structures can just be heard amidst feedback fires, delay detritus, and morphing vocal abstractions.

In the Woolfy vs Projections mix of “Shimmer Dub,” the original track’s hand percussions intermingle with gurgling rhythmic fluids…the effect like wandering upon some tribal jungle ceremonial. Big blasts of downer synth bass are soaked in reverb, repetitive synth pulses tickle the mind, and pillowy arpeggios flow into view while those familiar synthetic steel drums shine in the sunlight. Fingers roll across myriad skins as the kick drum drops away, leaving the mind to swim in a world of equatorial energy. Then, as the bass drum resumes–with shakers never relenting–a new bassline emerges, bringing with it a heavy touch of wiggling squiggling Italo boogie. The vibe is hesitant…anxious even…with a persistent refusal to lock in, and as bass bursts grow in intensity, the rest of the mix begins reverberating into a balearic dreamscape. Following a delirious pause, the track explodes into flamboyant disco funk perfection, as sweltering chord hazes melt from the sky and bouncing basslines join an infectious and tropically tinged body groove. Chords scat, virtual marimbas dance, synthetic steel pans shimmer across the spectrum, and swells of white light synthesis overwhelm the mind...the whole thing as massive a groove as there could possibly be. Touches of electro kiss the rhythms and futuristic synth riffs fire as we back down into a swinging breakbeat, with rapid keyboard riffs locking into heady funk cycles and stadium-sized tom tom fills splaying out across the stereo field. Guitar licks are soaked in sunshine as they lead a dubwise swing, and as we explode once more into the block rocking groove, double time shakers and hats push the vibe towards dance party mania…all as coral-colored leads rush through star ocean fx clouds.

Max Essa’s take on “Ranura de Marihuana” sees a four-four kick smacking with infectious disco dance energy and hand percussion flowing all around. A snare crack introduces another groove indebted to Italo boogie, with big bottomed synth basslines accentuating the vibes of beach dance euphoria. Shakers spread into sandy clouds of atmosphere and heatwave pads sweat and squelch as starlight arppegios race across the sky. The vibe of Ibizan melancholia is here perfected, causing body and soul to merge in hedonistic ecstasy, and though the track resembles one of Essa’s characteristic blue ocean dancefloor cruisers, its a little slower and baggier than usual, which fits completely with Coyote’s zoner stoner vibe. Seascape pianos bring a peaktime fee and at certain moments, the groove momentarily recedes, only to rush back in on an infectious snare crack. Ivory melodies are increasingly strange and psychotropic as they flutter across the mix, with decaying vibration tails carried away on an aqueous breeze. The radiant piano chords and vocalizations from the original swim into the stereo field as Essa barrels down into a heavy bassline stomp, with every pulling away aside from smeared out voices and 70s prog rock pads that evoke a string orchestra tuning to the sounds of the stars. Further clap cracks bring back layers of equatorial euphoria and the vocals are used to incredible effect, with echoing snippets repurposed as anthemic hooks. Pianos continue their alien dance over relaxed disco rhythms and snapping funk basslines, and as we move towards the end, claps and basslines fire rapidly as vocals morph through slapback oscillations…all before dropping into one last expanse of seaside dancefloor magic, with dub disco beats, infectious world percussion rolls, and a pleading voices diffusing towards a gorgeous sunset horizon.

(images from my personal copies)

[artificialqueens]

Pretty Please (Oneshot, Branjie) - Holtzmanns

(read on ao3) | (word count: 3965)

Brooke’s not the jealous type. She’s not. Or at least, that’s what she tells herself, until an old classmate of Vanessa’s tests her on that assertion just a little.

A/N: Thank you guys so much for all the wonderful comments on ‘it’s nice to have a friend,’ I’m so happy that it was so well received and enjoyed. Here’s a quick trip back to the 'nobody knows where we might end up’ verse, in case anyone has missed neurosurgeon Brooke and cardiothoracic surgeon Vanessa. I was supposed to write this fic for Barbie last Christmas, if that tells you anything about how quickly I get things done. At least it’s here now? Thank you as always to writ for betaing and being the best <3

Brooke likes being Vanessa’s arm candy sometimes.

It gives her an opportunity to soak in just how brilliant her girlfriend is. Sure, Brooke’s known it since they were in undergrad with their heads buried in textbooks, but it’s magnified now, more than a decade later. Because the way Vanessa’s in her element when she talks about her research and her practice is almost mesmerizing to watch, and Brooke knows she’s not the only one who’s impressed.

From the standing ovation that Vanessa’s presentation gets after she’s finished talking? She’s just that good.

“Great job, babe.” Brooke whispers to Vanessa once she sits back down, squeezing her hand. “I feel bad for the poor sucker who has to follow that.”

“I’m just glad I could answer all of the audience questions,” Vanessa shrugs, “being in the early stages of the study and all. There’s still so much that we haven’t done yet.”

“And yet you were a rockstar. Proud of you. Now you get to enjoy the rest of the conference.”

A cardiothoracic surgery conference doesn’t normally fall under Brooke’s domain. Cardio is a little out of her element, with even the basic ideas being discussed requiring her to wrack her brain to recall exactly what they mean. Except that Vanessa’s team is making progress in their research, enough to present at symposiums and conferences to create some waves in the cardiothoracic surgery world and sue Brooke, she likes watching her girlfriend succeed. It doesn’t hurt that the conference is taking place in San Diego, either, because any chance to get away from the bitter cold of the Toronto winter is one that Brooke will gladly grab on to.

Besides, it’s kind of nice to turn her brain off for once. At this conference, Brooke gets to relinquish the notion of being an expert, unlike the neurosurgery conferences that she goes to every year. She doesn’t have to pay attention to the latest research and techniques or present any of her own findings, nor does she have to work her ass off to build connections with fellow neurosurgeons. At this conference, she can sit back and watch Vanessa do it all herself.

It’s an interesting feeling, becoming more settled in her career. Brooke knows that younger Brooke, even five, six years ago would feel like a fish out of water at this conference, intimidated by all the information that she doesn’t know. Except that now, Brooke knows what she’s good at. It may not be cardiothoracic surgery, and honestly? She’s okay with that.

Because Vanessa gets to be the one to dazzle everyone.

Vanessa’s surrounded by audience members once the current round of presentations is completed, forming a swarm around her to praise her work and ask her more questions. Brooke plops down beside Vanessa’s research partner, Jimbo, who’s already looking for places nearby to grab lunch.

“You’re not gonna help her out with that crowd?”

Jimbo shrugs. “Nah, she’s got it. I got my eye, meanwhile, on the shawarma place across the street.”

“They do give us a boxed lunch at this conference, y’know.” Brooke tries to hold in a laugh at the deadpan expression that Jimbo throws at her.

“Two slices of white bread and an apple. Delicious.”

Brooke rests her cheek on her palm, her eyes absentmindedly scanning the groups of people around the room. There are fancy suits and pencil skirts and button downs but there’s even a guy in jeans who Brooke remembers had presented in the morning. Brooke herself is in a pantsuit, because hey, even if she has nothing to contribute to cardiothoracic surgery, she may as well look good. Vanessa’s dress compliments her outfit by accident, the navy trim nearly the same colour as her suit. Brooke likes it.

She lets her mind wander to what they’ll do this evening once the conference wraps up for the day, because their hotel has a spa but they’re also near the beach, and maybe Brooke can catch some sun before it goes down, and-

“Brooke! C’mere!”

“Huh?”

Jimbo snickers when Brooke nearly falls off of her chair at Vanessa’s yell, and Brooke tries to ignore the burning in her cheeks that is only present when she’s caught not paying attention. It’s not her fault Vanessa’s audience still wants to talk to her about her research.

Vanessa’s gesturing to her to come over, and Brooke can’t help but smile back at Vanessa’s excited grin. Surely, whoever Vanessa wants to introduce her to must be great, and worth getting up from her comfy chair for.

“This is Jackie Cox. Cardiac surgeon out of Mount Sinai in New York. We…go way back.” Vanessa’s smile is shy as she reaches out, squeezing Jackie’s hand.

Jackie herself is smiling, too, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear before pushing her glasses higher on her nose. “More than way back. Med school level way back. How would I have gotten through Genetics I without you?”

“Jesus, I still have nightmares about that class.” Vanessa shudders, and then her and Jackie are giggling, and Brooke can’t help the way her brow furrows.

Who even is this woman?

“Not gonna introduce me?” Brooke keeps her tone light because hey, she’s polite. Maybe Jackie is nice enough.

Vanessa claps a hand over her mouth. “Jackie, this is Brooke Lynn Hytes. Neurosurgeon extraordinaire.”

“What’s a neurosurgeon doing at a cardiothoracic surgery conference?” Jackie’s tone is friendly enough, but Brooke can’t help but bristle slightly, take a step closer to Vanessa.

“Just here to support my girlfriend.” Sure, the arm she snakes around Vanessa’s waist is a bit overkill, but Brooke can’t help it. Not when it makes Jackie’s eyes nearly pop out of their sockets.

“Oh! That’s lovely!” Jackie’s smiling, friendly as ever, but a little part of Brooke feels smug, especially when Vanessa tucks an arm around her waist, too. “I was going to ask Vanessa to grab some dinner after the conference is done for today to catch up and reminisce a little, but I  suppose I should ask the both of you. Would you happen to be free afterwards?”

Vanessa’s looking up at her, eyebrows raised as if she’s leaving the answer to Brooke. It’s all too easy for Brooke to shake her head, put on her most convincing expression of disappointment.

“No. Busy, sadly. Dinner plans and after-dinner plans.” Brooke smiles at Jackie, channeling as much brightness as she can. “Another time, though! I’m sure we’ll run into each other again!”

Vanessa’s rolling her eyes as they walk away after saying goodbye to Jackie. “Wanna explain what that was about?”

“What?” Brooke answers just a little bit too quickly, because Vanessa lets out a snort. “I was perfectly friendly and professional.”

“Ah, yes, because ‘perfectly friendly and professional’ is becoming weirdly threatened by someone I went to med school with.”

Brooke scoffs. “Threatened? I’m threatened.”

She isn’t.

“Then why did you just practically drag me away from her after saying our goodbyes? Wait.” Vanessa pauses, her eyes widening for just a second before they’re filled with absolute glee. “You’re jealous!”

“Jealous? Who said I’m jealous? I’m not jealous.” Brooke sputters, but it’s no use, because Vanessa is grinning and looking a little bit too smug. Brooke huffs, crossing her arms. “She was being weird!”

Vanessa has the ability to read her almost too easily, after knowing her for so long. It’s nice sometimes, but other times, like now? Brooke feels exposed.

“She was not being weird. Jackie and I dated for a bit back in med school before realizing we were better off as friends.” Vanessa gives her a pointed look, but Brooke can’t help but feel a little vindicated.

“Ha! I knew I was picking up on some sapphic vibes. That girl is most definitely not straight.”

Vanessa, though, rolls her eyes. “Of course she’s not straight, dumbass. She’s married and has a wife. And three pet cats. But most importantly? A wife. Which you now won’t get to hear about because you turned down an invite to dinner with her.”

“A wife?” Brooke squeaks out the words as she feels her cheeks heat up, because shit.

A wife. Jackie’s married. She wasn’t hitting on Vanessa.

Whoops.

“Sinking in now, is it?” Vanessa’s giggling, though, and wrapping an arm around her waist. “You’re something else.”

“You don’t think she noticed, did you?” Brooke can’t help but think back to the interaction with Jackie. “Do you think she thinks I’m an asshole? I should apologize. Should I apologize?”

Brooke’s probably gone and pissed off one of Vanessa’s friends. Maybe she should ask if Jackie would reconsider dinner. It would be the nice thing to do, right?

Especially knowing Jackie is already married.

“Jackie is going to be just fine, babe.” Vanessa grins, looking over Brooke’s shoulder. “Especially considering the fact that she’s waving at us from the Starbucks line at this very second.”

Brooke turns, looking over her own shoulder in the direction of Vanessa’s pointed hand, and sure enough, Jackie has a grin on her face while waiting for her order. Brooke joins Vanessa in waving back, her friendliness a little more genuine this time.

“It’s cute that you were jealous, though. You rarely ever are.” Vanessa’s smirking as she whispers the words under her breath, and Brooke has to fight back the indignation that immediately bubbles up.

It’s true - they’re back together and doing so well, and, for all intents and purposes, Brooke feels comfortable and secure with Vanessa. She knows she has nothing to worry about, that Vanessa’s her person and that she’s Vanessa’s, too. There’s very little that can shake the foundation that they’ve built together, which is why Brooke’s unbothered when guys ask Vanessa for her number, watching amusedly as she finds creative ways to turn them down. She doesn’t mind if other girls hit on Vanessa, mostly because Vanessa’s the first one to stand up and put them in their place.

Vanessa has a handle on herself, and is more than ready to express her own commitment. It’s nice, knowing that Vanessa is the one, that Vanessa feels the same way about her, too. That they’re in this together.

Funny how a girl in brimmed glasses can manage to shake Brooke’s confidence in approximately thirty seconds flat.

Brooke isn’t jealous, though. She doesn’t get jealous. A fact that she wastes no time in reiterating to Vanessa with a scoff. “I don’t get jealous. That’s not me.”

“Sure, it wasn’t you becoming edgy beside me and wanting to move away from Jackie as fast as possible, but not before, let me mention, wrapping your arm around my waist at the most opportune time. Definitely not jealous.” Vanessa looks positively smug, and Brooke huffs, because, well?

She’s a little bit right.

“Okay, maybe I was a little bit jealous.” Brooke grumbles, as Vanessa lets out a snicker. “Just a little, though. Not that much.”

“Mhm. Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better.” Vanessa pats her arm, and Brooke has to hold back the urge to pout.

There’s a million different ways that Brooke can embarrass herself at a conference for a surgery specialty that she isn’t a part of. Acting like an idiot in front of an old friend of Vanessa’s, though? An unexpected turn of events.

“I feel a little stupid, now. She was nice enough. Especially since she’s married.” Brooke wonders what Jackie’s wife is like. With their luck, her wife’s probably here at the conference and Jackie is going to tell her all about Brooke being weird at their first meeting.

“You’re relieved at that part, aren’t you?” Vanessa’s grinning as she leans forward on her tiptoes to whisper in Brooke’s ear. “If it makes you feel better, it was hot. That jealousy. Though you didn’t hear it from me.”

Vanessa takes a step back, then another and turns on her toes to head towards Jackie and the Starbucks line, and Brooke’s frozen in place for a millisecond while her brain tries to comprehend what Vanessa’s just said.

The rest of the day goes by slower than Brooke wants it to, the presentations and research talks taking her back to the cardiothoracic units in med school that she would always want to skip over while studying. The slow ticking of the watch on Brooke’s wrist isn’t helped by the fact that Vanessa looks positively smug. Well, not smug, exactly. More excited. Full of anticipation.

It’s not hard to know why Vanessa’s smirking, either, not when she’s putting a hand on Brooke’s back when they walk between conference rooms, and when her hand is ever so lightly tracing on her thigh when Brooke’s trying her hardest to pay attention to the guy presenting about a new method of AV node ablation.

“Behave.” Brooke mutters the word under her breath when Vanessa’s hand starts creeping a little bit higher on her thigh, though the words have absolutely no impact, by the way that Vanessa’s eyes are gleaming as she glances up at her.

“Or what? You’re gonna punish me after?” Vanessa’s snickering as she crosses her own legs, knowing damn well how effective the subtle motion of her thighs is at driving Brooke crazy.

Though Brooke isn’t one to let Vanessa win so easily. “No. Or I’ll go to bed early tonight after a riveting episode of Jeopardy and leave you to take care of the problem between your legs by yourself.”

Brooke really, really hopes that the audience members around them are paying attention to the presentation and can’t hear a word of what they’re saying. It’s worth it, though, when Vanessa’s eyes widen and her bottom lip pushes out ever so slightly.

“You wouldn’t.”

“Maybe I would.”

“Maybe I’ll go to dinner with Jackie, then.” Vanessa’s smirking, flipping her hair over her shoulder and Brooke hates it, really, how easily it makes her skin prickle. “While you watch your Jeopardy.”

Jackie’s married, Brooke knows that. Her and Vanessa are solid and healthy and they trust each other and she has nothing to worry about at all, but there’s a little voice in the back of her head. One belonging to a little green eyed monster that whispers that Vanessa is hers, that she isn’t Jackie’s no matter what sort of dating history they had back in med school, and that there’s no way in hell Brooke wants to share.

“Maybe you should watch what you’re saying now so you don’t have to pay for it later, princess.” Brooke mutters the words into Vanessa’s ear as the audience begins to applaud the presenters, their presentation presumably coming to an end.

It’s exactly what Vanessa wants and has been baiting her for, and it shows from the way she bites her lip in anticipation, hooking Brooke’s pinky with her own.

“Promise?”

Vanessa is pliant in Brooke’s arms when she pushes her against the wall in the entrance of their hotel room, sucking in a breath that Brooke steals with a biting kiss. Brooke kicks the door closed with her heel, not bothering to lock it because she has more important things to attend to. Namely, her girlfriend who’s keening under her touch and trying to climb on her tiptoes to get closer to her.

Brooke pulls back as Vanessa chases her lips for a kiss, the corners of her lips curving up when Vanessa lets out a little whine.

“Why so desperate?” Brooke trails a hand up Vanessa’s side, the other planted against the wall and boxing her in.

Vanessa’s breath is coming out in pants, her fingers hooking onto Brooke’s belt loops. “Come closer.”

“You need me that much, huh?” Brooke leans down, placing a biting kiss on Vanessa’s neck, tugging just a little bit longer than she should in a way that’s going to show on Vanessa’s skin later on.

“Just come here-”

“Tell me. How much you need it. Need me.” Brooke trails the hand along Vanessa’s side up to cup her tit, her thumb brushing over the lace that she can feel through the fabric of Vanessa’s dress.

Vanessa’s whimper is immediate, her body already trembling under Brooke’s touch. “I…I…”

“What was that?” Brooke pulls her hand back, resting it against the wall near Vanessa’s shoulder so that she’s boxed in between her arms. “Tell me.”

“Need you so bad…” Vanessa’s squirming under Brooke’s gaze, but she’s tugging on her belt loops fruitlessly, trying to bring her closer. “Been thinking about this all day.”

“All day, huh? Even when you were presenting? Were you that horny, baby? Only thinking about us coming back to the hotel room?” Brooke presses another kiss to Vanessa’s neck, drags it down to her collarbone.

Vanessa’s cheeks are crimson when Brooke pulls back, biting at her already swollen lip. “Maybe.”

Brooke finds the zipper on Vanessa’s back, drags it down until her dress pools on the floor around her ankles. Vanessa is hot to the touch when Brooke brackets her sides with her palms, her fingers pressing small indents into her skin. “Beg for it, then.”

Vanessa’s too far gone to play their usual game of being a brat and teasing Brooke back until they’re both worked up, and instead the words fall from her lips in a way that makes Brooke want to squeeze her own thighs together. “Please, I need it, need you, I’m being so good, right, please fuck me, please-”

Brooke swallows her pleas with a kiss, tugging at Vanessa’s bottom lip before pulling back and Vanessa is a vision, with her mussed hair and dazed eyes and unsteadily balanced on her feet.

“On the bed.”

The way Vanessa leans back on her hands as she settles herself on top of the sheets is mesmerizing, her legs crossed almost demurely. It’s a sight that Brooke takes the time to drink in as she undoes the buttons on her blazer one by one, throwing it over the back of the desk chair. She keeps her shirt and slacks on, though, if only for the contrast that they create with Vanessa’s lingerie. The bed squeaks as Brooke leans against it, rolling up her sleeves to her elbows before straddling Vanessa, her knees against the mattress on either side of Vanessa’s hips and her palms nestling themselves into the sheets above her head.

“So pretty.” The words aren’t intentional but Brooke can’t help it, not when her girlfriend never fails to take her breath away, even when she’s the one who’s supposedly in control tonight.

“And all mine.”

The whine from Vanessa’s lips and her subsequent sharp intake of breath curl around Brooke like rings of smoke that she has to wade through to press kisses down Vanessa’s neck, along her collarbone, across the top of her cleavage. Vanessa’s hands fist themselves in her hair, and Brooke can feel Vanessa’s heart pounding underneath the areas of red that she decorates along her skin.

“All yours.” Vanessa’s breathless, already trembling underneath her and Brooke wants nothing more than to keep pulling her apart. “No one else’s.”

The words don’t need to be said, necessarily, not when Brooke already knows that they’re true and run through the fabric of her and Vanessa’s relationship. But they still calm the part of her brain that likes to act up every now and then, the one that starts second guessing and expects things to take a turn for the worse, even though with Vanessa, they never really do anymore.

The words are a comfort. A spoken truth, one that reminds Brooke of how lucky she really is.

Vanessa’s already wet when Brooke drags the pads of her fingers across the fabric of her panties, her thighs squeezing together around Brooke’s hand. She eases them apart, pulling off Vanessa’s panties all together before kissing down her stomach and past her hip bones. She dots a kiss on the inside of Vanessa’s thigh, and it makes Vanessa reach down and grab her hand for a second before letting go.

Brooke takes her time, savouring Vanessa’s gasps and moans as she teases at her folds. She works Vanessa up at a pace that would normally have her grumbling to hurry up, already, but today Vanessa’s too far gone to care, her hands fisting in the sheets below her, the rise and fall of her chest erratic.

She circles her tongue around Vanessa’s clit before sucking on it in a way that always makes Vanessa mewl, using one hand to hold Vanessa’s hips down onto the bed and to keep them from bucking. Brooke’s other hand drags up Vanessa’s thigh before tracing her folds as she lifts her head up, admiring the sight in front of her.

“Tell me who you belong to, baby, if you want to come.” Brooke crawls back up until she’s face to face with Vanessa and has the perfect view of how her thumb against her clit is already making her tremble.

Vanessa’s eyes are squeezing shut with a gasp when Brooke pushes a finger into her, a gasp that Brooke wants to hear again and again. Vanessa’s hot to the touch and Brooke feels like she herself is going to burn up, too, which is why the goosebumps rising along both of their skin make absolutely no sense. Brooke slows her pace down a little until Vanessa’s whining, her hips canting up and begging for more and she covers her face with the crook of her arm.

“I belong to you, I’m yours, all yours and no one else’s.” The words are mumbled and end with a moan when Brooke adds another finger, keeping the torturously slow pace that she knows drives Vanessa crazy.

“I’m the only one who can get you like this, huh? All worked up and whiny and dripping down my palm because you can’t hold yourself back?”

Vanessa, for her part, is hanging on by a thread and can barely kiss back when Brooke licks in her mouth. “Please, please-”

“No one else can fuck you like me, can they, baby?” Brooke speeds up, then, tilting her wrist slightly to get the angle against Vanessa’s clit that never fails at getting her to the edge.  

When Vanessa comes she’s whining with her face buried in Brooke’s neck, her hands uselessly fisting in the fabric of her shirt. Brooke pulls her thumb away from Vanessa’s clit first when Vanessa lets out a mewl but keeps the pace of her fingers, pumping as Vanessa’s squeezing around them.

Brooke takes each finger into her mouth one by one when she pulls back, sucking them clean, but it’s all for show, really, because the sight of Vanessa watching her with dazed eyes is one that she’s never going to tire of.

“No one else can fuck me like that, that’s for damn sure.” Vanessa lets out a breathless giggle, grabbing the front of Brooke’s shirt to pull her in for another kiss.

Vanessa’s eyes are soft when Brooke pulls back, and the swell that she feels in her heart isn’t because of the sex, necessarily. It’s the way that Vanessa continues to look at her with complete adoration even all these years later, enough that Brooke sometimes feels the need to pinch herself to see if it’s really happening.

“Always yours, baby. You never have to worry about that.” Vanessa reaches up, tucking a lock of hair behind Brooke’s ear.

It’s true. Brooke really doesn’t. But sometimes, it’s nice to just hear it again.

Brooke’s about to reply when Vanessa shimmies in her grip, grabbing at her hips and-

“Hey!”

“My turn.” Vanessa snickers from her new position, straddling Brooke’s hips with her thighs and her hands waste no time, already working on Brooke’s shirt buttons.

“‘Cause I’m all yours, but you’re mine too, babe. All mine.”

[anikkis-fantasirealities]

“LiVELY Legacy of Japan’s Lionized Anisinger”

➀ Personality Profile ┊ ˢʰᵉ ʷʰᵒ ˢʰᶦⁿᵉˢ ᵗʰʳᵒᵘᵍʰ ˢᵒⁿᵍ ᵃⁿᵈ ˢᵗʸˡᵉ··· ˢᵐᶦˡᶦⁿᵍ ˢʷᵉᵉᵗˡʸ ʷʰᶦˡᵉ ˢᵃˡᵘᵗᵃᵗᶦⁿᵍ ˢᵘᵖᵖᵒʳᵗᵉʳˢ·

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ꒰⁺˚₊·₍₍loading...₎₎ ㅤ ✎...۪۫❁ཻུ۪۪ -ˏˋ 🎤 ˊˎ-

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ

༘✶ ㊉ ㈦〘 ⅯⅯ 〙⋆｡˚𓆟 ༉ ║ Posted : ０６/１５/２１° ｡༄ ‧₊˚ ๑ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ •ଓ.° ｡❍ ㈩ ㊇

- - ——— ꒰ An article by Nicole “Nikki” Elaine S. Chua of NEU-IS ꒱

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ₊·͟͟͟͟͟͟͞͞͞͞͞͞➳❥ ࿐ྂ—͙❬₊° ᶦ ᵃᵐ ᵃ ᵇˡᵒᵍᵍᵉʳ ᵃᶠᵗᵉʳ ᵃˡˡ·“= ‹⸙͎

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤ ㅤ❝ Madamada iku wa yo~! ❞

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ- LiSA (Rally Go Round)

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ.ılı.lıllılı.ıllı. ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤᴺᵒʷ ᵖˡᵃʸᶦⁿᵍ﹕ᵍᵘʳᵉⁿᵍᵉ ⁻ ᴸᶦˢᴬ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ0:11 -◦————— 3:59 ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ〔 ↠ⁿᵉˣᵗ ˢᵒⁿᵍ ╵╻↺ ʳᵉᵖᵉᵃᵗ ╻╵⊜ ᵖᵃᵘˢᵉ 〕 ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤVolume: ▁ ▂ ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ █ 100%

Lush, loose—lofty and lovely. Lucent and lavish—lustral, laid-back, & luxuriant. Luminous. Legendary. Limitless. Light hearted and letter-perfect. There is not enough words for me to describe her overflowing talent for music, and the impact she has created for tech-savvy usernames cheering on their favorite idols & animations alike. Nowadays, most millennials and Gen Zs go neck-to-neck with their clashing interests of two international sensations: one known for the funky beats of charismatic boys dancing in synchrony, and the other, notable for moving illustrations of all kinds of stories that allure the imagination. Yes, let’s admit it, my generation has fallen in love with the influence of K-pop and anime, though I cannot blame anyone because of the fun & happiness they bring. Do you agree with me?

Well, even if you cannot agree or relate with me, I’m sure you would be able to find this article interesting! This personality is not someone of looming authority nor power—she is not a lady from the West, nor the Northern isles or even the Southern seas. She is here: the Rising Sun’s pride and honor bestowed by a sharp katana slaying all evil. It is where that familiar tune of hers is empowered with the narrative of a young man and his breathing techniques—a tale beloved by many anime fanatics. Yes! I’d like to introduce to you, one of Japan’s famed singers of all time: 𝙇𝙞𝙎𝘼! Make your entrance, please!

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ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ 【 今日もいい日だつ 】 ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ❝ Today is another great day! ❞ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ- LiSA ╰╼|════════════════════════════════════|╾╯

My life is truly music-inclined, even if I have two left feet and a raspy, rough voice. Those foreign lyrics ring out in my head, every time I enter through the gates of Japanese culture and enter my fantasy I know so well. I mean, cool right? I can still remember how I first embraced her beginning chords in January 2020, when that song, Gurenge, was heard throughout the spacious stadium of the New Era University college department. It was the opening ceremony for Intramurals 2020, and as soon as the melody played, the crowd sang along in a noisy type of harmony.

𝙂𝙪𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙜𝙚, it means “red lotus” in English—the title of the Japanese opening theme for the animation called, “Kimetsu no Yaiba,” or more acclaimed as “Demon Slayer” by millions of anime ethusiasts across the web. I wondered what that range of vocals wanted to tell me. Those beautiful notes and the intensifying instrumental that accompanies such an epic story. Slowly, I understood why she is adored by many people, rain or shine, sun rays to lunar silhouettes. Now, here I am writing with everlasting conviction, to share everything I know about her—the reasons why that captivating rhythm, those inspiring words, and the pleasant emotions, made me sing along. So, let’s rest for a while, and I’ll tell you more about LiSA, behind the reflection of that worn out blade.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

LiSA, or Risa Oribe in real life, is a Japanese singer, songwriter, and lyricist from the Gifu Prefecture—in the small city of Seki. She is 165 centimeters tall, which is quite tall for a Japanese woman. She is known for her multiple song hits used in Japanese animation titles such as the Fate series and Sword Art Online. Though, did you know that she also sang for the music-based anime series, “Angel Beats!” as one of the main characters who so happened to be a vocalist, as well? This was LiSA’s professional song debut in the music industry, which she lunged into when she was given a chance to step onto the reknowned arena for some of Japan’s history makers: Nippon Budokan! As a kid, Risa Oribe was taught lessons in piano, dancing, and singing, which continued onto her junior high school years. After auditioning in the infamous Budokan, she held onto the dream of becoming an artist on the next journeys she would walk on outside her hometown.

Believe it or not, the name “LiSA” is an stylized acronym, consisting of confident letters that possess unique dignified meaning from one another. The stage name is adopted from a blast from the past, of the times Risa Oribe had travelled to Tokyo to form a band. “LiSA” stands for, “𝙇𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙎𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝘼𝙡𝙡” which may sound weird for English speakers, nonetheless, its significance still pulls my heartstrings all in all. Prior to becoming the individual singing artist, “LiSA,” Risa Oribe has always been a part of bands ever since high school—one of them being a cover band of indie rock music, “CHUCKY.” Despite the risk of working with the band in exchange for her accredited certificates from university, she continued to reach for her ultimate dream career as a singer. Unfortunately, “CHUCKY” only lasted for three years, and this is what led Risa Oribe to test her luck in the capital of Japan—persevering for that aspiration, because there’s no turning back now!

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ㅤㅤ 【 じっと見つめた　キミの瞳に映ったボクが生きたシルシ 】

ㅤㅤ ❝ As I stare intently into your eyes, ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤmy reflection there is the proof I exist, ❞ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ- LiSA (Shirushi)

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LiSA’s musical influences are, surprisingly, internationally respected musicians of the English language. Some of these prominent figures in her life are Avril Lavigne, Green Day, Paramore, and Rihanna. She is well-known for memorable hyped performances filled of power and passion. Sometimes, if people are granted the opportunity to be mesmerized by remarkable skill, she is also able to play the guitar and key harmonica in her concerts. She can sing in Japanese, obviously, but her words weaved with melody extends into Chinese and English perception, too. As a songwriter, she personally wrote some of her produced masterpieces like “Shirushi” and “Rally Go Round.” Though, perhaps you’ve never would guess that LiSA had a voice acting debut in 2015, too! Don’t get your hopes up because she did not give life to any anime characters, but instead, she became the Japanese voice of Madge Nelson in the film, “Minions.” I know, don’t get me wrong, it’s a shocking difference from the person LiSA is famous for.

However, for Risa Oribe, it was not something to be shy about, for she absolutely loves Minions! For avid fans of LiSA, they would often spot sightings of Minions merchandise in her social media accounts. It’s a fact that wouldn’t make you think that she can be that intimidating performer on fire, once she leaps onto stage. She still has that gentle vibe, especially when she raises her arm to greet the audience with a simple peace sign. The dark packed venue would chant along the bridge instrumental, rapidly waving their lightsticks until the song performance is finished. It’s as if the stars have landed in a small part of Earth during the night fall, to take a day-off head banging to the beat of rock. LiSA’s concerts deliver the message that “𝙇𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙎𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝘼𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨,” as it is the running title pinned to her lives from then to now.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Speaking of which, here’s a fun fact! Did you also know that LiSA’s albums all start with the letter L? From “Letters to U” and “Launcher,” to “Leo-Nine” and the recently revealed “Ladybug,” each album has a motif that follows her musical style. LiSA’s original songs tell stories of hope, determination, and love. Ever since she released her first solo single debut, “Oath Sign,” for the anime, “Fate/Zero,” her name would never vanish from the music charts of new singles and albums in Japan. Songs like “Crossing Field,” “Catch the Moment,” and “ADAMAS,” of “Sword Art Online” were also noteworthy for their impact on LiSA’s career as a singer, not only for Japanese animations, but also for Japanese TV dramas and live-action films. Her very own, “Homura,” for the anime film, “Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba: Mugen Train” have even outstretched to the Billboard charts across the Pacific ocean!

Today, she has celebrated her 10th anniversary in the music industry—a realization that it just seems like yesterday when she got to meet her fans in different countries, go on tours to perform everyone’s favorite anime songs of hers, and made her mark as an “𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧” of the Rising Sun. That is why she is, indeed, an artist with a lively legacy to our current era—a personality deserving of a profile article from yours truly. It’s been great having you with me in this article, and I hope you were able to find admiration for LiSA and her work! Thank you for reading! I’ll see you again in another blog where my fantasies become realities! A Nikki reminder: don’t always go with the flow, and be yourself! Good day!

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ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ 【 生き残ったこの世界で　新しい　眩しい　 ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ 開けを迎えに行こうか 】

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ❝ In this world I live in, there will be a new glow, ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ for now let’s welcome the new dawn! ❞ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ - LiSA (dawn)

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· * ✫ * ⊹ * ˚ . . 　　· ⋆ * . * . . · . · . * · . · · + . ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ· ** ˚ . . + 　　· ⋆ * . * . . · . · . *

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ. . + 　· ⋆ * . * . . · . · .˚ ⊹ · * ✧ ⋆ · * . · . · · .. . .

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ· + ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ· * ✫ * ⊹ * ˚

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ · ** ˚ . . + ㅤㅤ　· ⋆ * . * . . · . · .˚ ⊹ · * ✧

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ⋆ · * . · ㅤㅤ . · · .. . . · + .

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ. · + . *

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ⋆ * . * . .

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ . · ·

ㅤㅤ﹙dedication. ﹚ ୨˚୧ ˚ ༘♡.↳ ₊˚‧

This blog is dedicated to my sister, who is a big fan of LiSA. I am grateful that you’ve made me sing with her, forevermore.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ﹋﹋﹌﹌﹌「 🎀 」﹌﹌﹌﹋﹋

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ┊彡 Credits

➥ Cover Edit

➫ Background

➫ Stand-out LiSA holding a microphone stand

➫ Sitting LiSA

➫ Butterfly themed LiSA

➫ Kimono LiSA

➫ "Brave Freak Out" promotional picture

➫ "Only ≠ Lonely"

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

➥ GIF

➫ "Gurenge" Music Clip ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

➥ First Blog Divider

➫ "Datte Atashino Hero" Music Video

➫ "KiSS me PARADOX" -LiVE is Smile Always ～PiNK & BLACK～ Live

➫ "No More Time Machine" Music Clip

➫ "LEO-NiNE" Limited Edition A Album Cover

➫ "LUCKY Hi FiVE" Single Cover ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

➥ Second Blog Divider

➫ Raising Arm LiSA

➫ "ASH" Single promotional picture

➫ "Unlasting" promotional picture

➫ "ADAMAS" article by Billboard

➫ "Shirushi" Music Video ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

➥ Third Divider

➫ Red-themed LiSA

➫ "Letters to ME" Music Video

➫ "Surprise" Music Video ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

➥ Source of Information

➫ LiSA Wikipedia page

➫ LiSA’s Discography Wikipedia page

➫ Every Anime Song by LiSA fan-video compilation

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ﹋﹋﹌﹌﹌「 end. 」﹌﹌﹌﹋﹋

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ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ Next Blog ⇨

[kyungsoomint]

YOURS: Emotions

credit to respective owners for photos

Member: Park Chanyeol (박찬열) / Byun Baekhyun (변백현)

Genre: Angst, Fluff & Smut (Later on)

Word Count:  3.8 k

Notes: So for this one, I tend to overdo it. I said to myself that I should stop but sometimes you just can’t :) Apologize for any mistakes made!

YOURS:

| Above & Beyond | Emotions | Endless Night | Moments | Future |

Next Update: August 9

Seoul, 3 months later

"Well I know that you need a car because you don't like people driving you around," her father said, "That's why I bought you a car" he extended his hand to give BMW's car key to her. "You don't have to dad, I'm fine with everything" she was deeply moved by another kind gesture of her foster father. "Oh please! I know that you love big car, SUV and you used to own an Audi. So I thought maybe, getting another SUV with the different brand seems like a fresh start for you" she was awed at the fact that he knows she likes SUV best more than a sedan. She was adopted by a couple, Kim Youngchul and Kim Eunkyung at the age of 7 years old. At that time, she wasn't even sure if someone wants to take her as their daughter and yet there they were raising her as their own child with all of the love and expensive gifts they bought for her. She was grateful for the fact that she's raised by a loving couple and also eager to pay them back.

It was 9 am when Baekhyun came into her office, with the biggest boyish grin she has ever seen "How's your flight yesterday?" he was leaning into the door frame. "It was nice, great weather with no air turbulence" she automatically smiled at him. Baekhyun is just that person that always brings up a smile on people. "Well, that's nice. Anyway, we have a board meeting in an hour. It'll be interesting to meet everyone on the board!" She was about to question him about the 'interesting' part but he quickly got out of her room after saying bye. She shrugged away her thoughts by continuing what her father has left her with pretty much already organized works. She happened to understand the way her father works, so it wasn't a big problem for her.

The meeting room was massive, pretty much designed for board or investors meeting. There was floor to ceiling window that brings light into the dark atmosphere. Black furniture mostly with some touch of black granite. "Good morning, Junmyeon" she greeted Junmyeon who just entered the room. Junmyeon was followed by a much taller man behind, that person sat in front of her. She would categorize as handsome as fuck sitting in front of her, that person didn't look familiar for her. In which, Baekhyun realized that they haven't got to introduce each other, "Oh! So this is Oh Sehun, our Chief Marketing Officer" Sehun then waved his hand, "Hello, I'm Oh Sehun. You must be (Y/N)!" His eyes were projecting excitement. She replied to his enthusiasm with a smile and non, just after that, Chanyeol entered the room. Not surprisingly, his aura radiated throughout the room. She knew even if he smiles, he will still radiate the same energy, the same dominant energy out of him. It's just simply not because he lacked smiling but there's that too.

The meeting started as soon as Chanyeol sat on his chair. They were presenting about weekly reports such as marketing strategy or how well the products received by their customers. Most of the time (Y/N) just took notes to understand the company more. She noticed the way Chanyeol was giving out comments to everyone, in most stoic yet dreadful ones. Whilst, Baekhyun smiled every time he talks about something. He seemed passionate about what he's doing, even if the CEO's not him. "Let's end the meeting here. Baekhyun, I want you to look out a more efficient way of producing the new product, something that doesn't lower the value" his brows were squinting together, "And, (Y/N) I need the weekly financial report by 3 pm. Please report to my office by then". Sure, it's very Chanyeol, she thought to herself. Only three hours to compile everything, she tried hard not to roll her eyes at him, well because of course, he's her boss for fuck's sake. She could see that Baekhyun was giving her an apologetic smile for his friend's usual behavior. It didn't shock her at all, she knew that even if she had so many experiences before, she still has to prove herself to Chanyeol. Man of an action not words, that's what he's. One thing for sure, she immediately thought that it's better to work for Baekhyun than for Chanyeol. She was also unsure why Baekhyun didn't take the role of the CEO since they started the company together.

Back at her office, sure the work environment that she's in made her think from important to the most unimportant stuff. There were lots of stuff going in and out from her mind from how good looking everyone is, how could you even manage to have good looking people with an amazing brain? And there's Chanyeol, she knew that Chanyeol was being skeptical of her. She wanted to prove to him that she got the position not solidly because her father too, she has great potentials, her performance used to be praised by the previous company. Sure if there wasn't her father, she wouldn't be here, but she crawled herself up into this peak point through sweat and tears. Even if she knew that she might lack stuff yet she's ready to prove himself to him.

While overthinking, suddenly Baekhyun entered the room with his fresh cologne blazing through the air. "Hello! How are you doing so far?" Baekhyun entered with a cup, where it seemed to be coffee? "You are gonna be used to Chanyeol" he continued with a smile "Here's a coffee for you, to get through the day". Baekhyun's surely a nice person, with a very bubbly life of course. He sat in front of her, "So, how's your first day?" Baekhyun placed his hands on the table and wrapped his fingers all together. "Well, it's nice to have some pressure and I'm also used to that" she took a sip out of cup and Baekhyun gave a sigh. "Chanyeol is always like that in the first place, eventually he will warm up to you. I can guarantee you that, he wasn't even like the idea of my existence, look at we now" Baekhyun scrunched his eyebrows together, "Hmm, he still hates me sometimes but I do know sometimes what he shows outside doesn't reflect what he's feeling inside" Baekhyun turned into a big grin kid. She returned him with a smile, "You two almost look alike, the fact that I talk much more than the two of you, that horrifies me" Baekhyun pretended to look scared of her. "You talk a lot, Mr. Byun, that's why probably I talk lesser than you" Baekhyun huffed, "Why is everyone keeps on telling me that? But surely those who said that love me" Baekhyun winked at her which earned a laugh from her. Baekhyun sure is a silly person, she thought to herself. "Okay then, I'll disturb you again later on, just because you have a report to be done in 1 hour" Baekhyun went out from her office. Baekhyun sure was loud and talkative but he's the person that will light up the mood for the room. She kinda liked that about him, he made her feel easier to work here by having those types of vibes.

She made her way into Chanyeol's office 5 minutes before 3 pm, she hasn't been inside but she saw his office while her father and Junmyeon were showing her around the office. She met his secretary in front, if she wasn't wrong, his name's Jaejin. "Sir, Ms. Kim is here to hand over the report," he said through the phone. "You can go inside Miss" he was giving a polite smile to her. She went inside his office and she mesmerized by the black interior of his office. Sure, black does give a feeling of safety and comfort to her. His office faced the busy street of Seoul with ceiling to floor length glass. It's almost dark yet warm experience at the same time. Everything in his office seemed to be nice and well designed. "Do you find my office that interesting?" Chanyeol broke the silence which made her jump a little bit because she was so focused looking around. "I love black, so I should say that is place is nice and interesting. I love the ornaments, everything in this place seems nice and comfortable" she turned around to have a good look at his office while smiling. She suddenly realized what was she doing and feeling embarrassed, she handed him the report he asked earlier. "Here is the report you ask, 3 pm sharp, sir", Chanyeol shot his head up after hearing the word sir came out of her mouth "Please call me Chanyeol, as colleagues, I think sir seems too old for me" well, once Chanyeol actually smiled. That was the first time she sees him smile whereas, he rarely showed any emotions before. She was amused to explore that side of him which made her slip out a little back. She tried to gain composure as soon as possible while Chanyeol turned his head into the report. He scanned the report pretty fast, "Impressive work for such a short amount of time" he placed the report at the side of the document that he was signing before she got there. "Working under pressure is my forte", Chanyeol raised an eyebrow at her and leaned back into his leather comfy chair. "Well, you will be looking forward to more of that in the future, you good to go" she gave him a nod and turned her heels around to exit his office. "I almost forgot", she turned to face him again, "Tomorrow, we are meeting one of the key investors. I need you to go with me, 11 am" there was what she would call as a bossy attitude with calmer vibes getting out of him. He used phrases that someone would take as a bossy/possessive person yet that person talks with confidence and calm energy. "Sure, where?" She questioned him. "Don't worry, I'll drive you there" he replied. "Well, okay then" she walked out of his office and realized the fact that he said he'll drive her there.

The rest of the day went by quickly before she realized that the sun has set itself for more than 1 hour where everyone has gone home. As she walked out of her office, she noticed that light still coming from the corner of the big hallway, that's where Chanyeol's office located. Out of curiosity, she made her way down to his office. His secretary was nowhere to be found so she straight out knocking into the wooden black door. She sneaked her head through the door, "Aren't you going home?" She was curious knowing that having a black-themed office at daylight is awesome, at night, well it's scary. "I usually go home around 9 pm, if you are curious" there was a slight flush coming out from her cheeks, fortunately, Chanyeol's office was dark at night so she believed that he couldn't see it. She hummed, "Thank you for the information" she almost wanted to roll her eyes. "Have a good night" he replied with a nod and left his office. Chanyeol could hear the clacking sound of her heels fading out, almost how he heard her approach his office before, the same Valentino black heels. He was taken back by her sudden visit into his office, but like always he plays it cool. After she left his office, she was questioning herself about her unexpected visit too, clearly, auras were clashing. She wasn't the type of person that could be dominated nor was he. So there's a reason why and also she won't be easily be scared of someone. Mainly that's the reason why she was brave enough more than other people to stop by Chanyeol's office, peeping through the door and asking stuff that most people didn't do.

Seoul, the next morning

"I love driving. Also, I love off-road big SUVs. I hope that's sufficient enough to answer your questions" Chanyeol said which answered most of the questions going through her mind. They were standing in the lobby when a grey metallic G-class Mercedes Benz approached them. Unimportant thoughts started to flow through her mind, quite unexpected for a CEO to use G-class since they usually use S-class or such and of course, they don't drive by themselves. She was shocked and amused at the same time by Chanyeol's impromptu answer. "It's written within your face, don't people do that a lot to you?" He said as they were already inside the car. "No. Pretty much not a lot that can identify or find within me" she replied which earned a nod from him, the car fell into silence mode. Chanyeol sure didn't do much of the talking, when he does, he's really good at it. There was an instant urge coming from her, something that she wanted to ask, "Do you know that you radiate that sort of dominant energy all the time?" There she spat it out, in front of her new boss. Chanyeol turned his face to her for a second but she failed to notice because she was looking out of the window. "Does that bother you?", she hummed in response to him, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. Chanyeol lightly tapped into the steering wheel, "We both know that we have the same energy going. Doesn't it always bother people like us?" There he said 'us', she was taken back by his use of describing her and him. He seemed to take a lot of interest only to the company and himself and him saying that seemed like a different world. At the same time, Chanyeol didn't realize the word he's using was something he didn't usually use as for people to people conversation. After that, the car ride fell into silence again. She could say that Chanyeol's very interesting person and you could say much like him to her too.

They returned to the office around 1 pm, whereas the work has pilled up alongside with a crumbling stomach. Suddenly, Baekhyun perked up from the door. "Hello!" His voice sounded very energetic like always. "I know you haven't got to eat lunch yet", Baekhyun placed a brown paper bag into her desk, "So I bring you some salad with sesame dressing". Her lips formed into an 'o', "Wow, how do you know?". Baekhyun sat in front of her desk while opening his own salad, "I called Mr. Kim to ask about what kind of dressing you usually have?" He said with a playful smile. She mixed the dressing and salad together, "And why are you doing that?". Baekhyun tried to answer her but failed miserably since his voice was getting muffled by a mouth full of salad. "I said, It's because I want to impress you of course" he then proceeds to stuff more food into his mouth. "Well, it's impressive, thank you Mr. Byun Baekhyun" Baekhyun continued the rest of the lunch with endless topics like he wasn't going to run out of it anytime soon. She found Baekhyun as a very interesting and outgoing person, she talked to her almost like he has known her for such a long time as if they have been friends for years. "So last Sunday, I went cycling at the park and I almost face plant myself into dog poop, as I said almost, I think it's within 2-3 centimeters from my face" Baekhyun made a 'yuck' sound. She let out some light laugh and packed the finished foods into the bag again. "I'm looking forward to more stupid stories", he gave her continuous nods "Sure thing", he gave a wink and went out from her office. Baekhyun's a fun person to hang out with, time went by fast with him.

Weeks and months went by as she has fully adjusted into the company. Chanyeol has taken her to more key investors for financial report presentation. One time she thought that Chanyeol was very keen to keep her busy not only behind the table. The more she worked with him, the more she understood him. That day was another day of investor meeting, "I'm going to drive today, not you" she took the lead out of him without hearing Chanyeol complained behind her. They made their way into the basement where (Y/N)'s car was parked. "I didn't know that this is your car, the car that somehow always park next to me?" Chanyeol was amused to know that the car that's always park next to him, which is also an SUV was droved by (Y/N). "Yeah. How about that?" She opened the car door and both of them got inside. "You were surprised to discover that I drive such a car and now look at yours, it's massive." For once, she really got to roll her eyes at him, "I'm sorry, did you just roll your eyes at me?" Chanyeol has fully turned his body to face her. "Weren't you being judgemental at me?" He continued. As the car approached into the street, she then proceeds to face him, "Then, I'm sorry, sir". Chanyeol proceeded a huff of disagreement, she knew how much he hates to be called that from the directors, "What did I say about the sir, I'm not that old". Her eyes were focused on the road, "In my knowledge, I know one thing for sure that you are older than me, sooo" there was a slight smirk forming from her lips, "using sir sometimes does suit you".

"I love driving big SUV, I used to drive one too in NYC" she broke the usual car ride silence which earned her a nod from Chanyeol. "Isn't driving SUV makes you feel you can see everything clearer and better?" It hit her at the perfect spot, "YEAH RIGHT?" Her voice was louder than he has ever heard before. "Sorry, you were startled weren't you?" They were stopping at the red light, "There are of course many things that I don't know about you and that one counts". There was a sudden urge coming from her that wanted to say well you too not so different. It was around 5 pm when they arrived to have the meeting. That's why the sun has set when they finished. "Let's grab something before I drop you off. I'm guessing that you are a picky person, regardless I'm still picking the place" she said before Chanyeol was able to cut her. "Impressive, you don't even need my opinion" Sure she could sense his sarcasm well, "I do need to impress my boss still" she shrugged. She stopped at a parking lot, "I see nothing here" Chanyeol said. "Of course we need to walk it's a narrow street, cars can't get in" they got out of the car and walked side by side, which was awkward yet comfortable as the night summer air blazing through.

"You thought, I'm going to take you to some fancy restaurant right? Nope," she said as she scooped the soup with rice into her mouth. "I'll say that I kinda like it" sure, of course, he liked it, the restaurant has been here for what? More than 30 years? "I might drive BMW, wear expensive clothes but let me say this, I like this type of food. Right here" a smile escaped from her lips, for once she saw tenderness from his big round eyes. She quickly drifted her gaze back into the food. "I'd like you to take me places," Chanyeol said which made her shot her head up again, back at him. Then, it hit him "I MEAN RESTAURANT like you know, foods, nice foods" he almost shouted and struggled to find the right words. It was followed by a nervous laugh from him which laugh's also rare when it comes to Chanyeol. "Sure, it's not like I'm going to resign tomorrow" she gave a cool shrug, masking that inside part of her was scrambling like crazy.

She drove back to S&S Co. Building where the time was 10 pm already. Surprisingly, they found out that they have already closed the access to the basement. "Shit, I forgot to tell them that my car's still inside" Chanyeol pressed his hand into his forehead thinking what a dumb shit fuck he is. Of course, (Y/N) would feel bad if she just left him there, "I can drive you home" Chanyeol was still trying to get hold of his assistant, "I can grab a taxi, that's fine" which earned a disapproval huff from her. "No, I actually insist on doing it since you pay for the food before I can!" With that, she hit the gas and drove away from the building. Chanyeol sighed at his defeat, "Now, where do you live?". "You need to turn right" he pointed out into the street. "I-Park Samsung" those words alone brought her head to face him. "I-Park?" And Chanyeol replied with a nod. "What tower?" She asked more and more to fulfill her curiosity because she lived there too. "102. Why you ask?" The more she asked the more relevant it's to her. "What floor?" She continued to ask him, "Floor 45" fortunately, she was stopping at the red light. She quickly glanced at him, she wanted to know whether he knew she has been living on the same floor with him or not. Chanyeol was giving her a confused look which means he didn't know. The thing's there are only 2 units on the 45th floor. "I'm not sure whether you know or not. But I live there too, same tower" she released one deep sigh, "same floor. Which means we have been neighbors for months" Chanyeol's eyes widened, "I thought you are living with Mr. Kim?" He questioned. "Fun fact of me, I like to live alone probably because I spent much time alone abroad" little did she know that Chanyeol understood what she's talking about yet he didn't expect her to live next to him. It was thrilling yet exciting to know who's your neighbor, knowing that her neighbor's not a psychopath or some sort of crazy person. But the fact that the person's Chanyeol embedded more meaning.

The next day, she offered to drive him into the office. It was weird coming out from the door at the same time while entering the door and seeing the same person too. But Chanyeol was polite he actually said thank you at her. Another rare thing she experienced. As she got into her office, Baekhyun burst into her office with a maroon suede suit. "I just want to inform you that" he took out his phone and show an image at her, "In two weeks, we will have the 8th anniversary of S&S. This year we are throwing a party at one of the Clubs owned by us. You need to come" Baekhyun said excitedly. She could only reply to him with a yes following with nods. "Good, now I have to do some works" Baekhyun left her office. She was left with her own thoughts, shit, a party? How long has it been since the last time I went.

[honeyopinion]

20/20 Albums of the Year

Circles by Mac Miller  |  Hip-Hop, Soul, Funk Released: January 17, 2020

Best Album For... Pouring One Out for Mac

I wrote a few different drafts of this album summary, and none of them felt like they really fit the impossibly large bill of accurately describing the posthumous importance or brilliance of this album. If you are a fan of hip-hop or soul music of any kind, try to give this piece of work a chance. I for one, used to judge Mac based on his early frat rap days in the late 2000s. But a decade later he came to leave the world with one of the most surprising and frankly impressive artistic evolutions that I’ve been able to witness in real time. RIP Mac. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora 

Start With: “Circles” or “Everybody”

Marigold by Pinegrove  |  Alternative Country and Folk Rock Released: January 17, 2020

Best Album For… Passing Through a Small Town on a Cloudy Winter Day 

Pinegrove was one of the last great concerts I got to experience before the pandemic. And it was my favorite performance of theirs from the last 6 years of seeing them play live. Is this my favorite album of theirs? Honestly, it’s not. But I still find it extremely enjoyable, and the memory of seeing these songs performed live, along with some of their classics, was enough for me to include it on this list. This is an album that marks Pinegrove’s exit from their pop punk roots. It’s still sentimental, but much more country and folk rock focused vs. anything trying to be associated with emo or punk. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora   Start With: “The Alarmist” or “No Drugs”

Watch This Liquid Pour Itself by Okay Kaya  |  Synth Pop, Art Rock, Folk Released: January 24, 2020

Best Album For… Crywanking at 3am, Bathed in The Dull Light of Your Overheating Laptop

What if Feist and Father John Misty had a secret love child? They might sound something like Okay Kaya. Self proclaimed “Singer ~ Crywanker,” Okay Kaya brings serious BDE to weirdo art pop that she seems like she could be a plant  from the mind of Nathan Fielder. Kaya delivers with such deadpan precision as she rolls out line after line of sarcastic joy, staring blankly at our dystopian reality. “Here I am, the whole world is my daddy,” “Netflix and yeast infection,” “Sex with me is mediocre,” “I just want us to do well like Jon Bon Jovi’s Rosê,” and, “My parasite and I are blushing / In the zero interaction ramen bar,” are just a few examples of some of her memorable and biting lyrics. The entire album is both a critique and nihilistic fondness for the absurdity of our lonely technological society, not quite sure how to deal with taboos like repressed female sexuality, depression, and codependency. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Baby Little Tween” or “Asexual Wellbeing”

UNLOCKED by Denzel Curry and Kenny Beats  |  Hip-Hop Released: February 7, 2020

Best Album For... Nodding Your Damn Head To, Feeling Cooler Than You Actually Are

I had to double check that this was an album. Clocking in under 20 minutes, this collection of songs feels more like an EP, especially with the track titles that purposefully look like file names and placeholders. But for a short album, Denzel wastes no time, furiously zigging and zagging effortlessly over Kenny Beats’ 90s New York-indebted production (ad libs and all). Kenny pulls out samples of an array of pop culture references made by Denzel (like quotes from movies and weapon sound effects like a lightsaber) — as he rotates his flow between admirable impressions of DMX, Nas, and Joey Bada$$.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “So.Incredible.pkg” or “DIET_”

Cardboard City by Zack Villere  |  Pop, Electronic, R&B Released: February 14, 2020

Best Album For… Pal-ing Around With Your Friends From High School, Maybe Quoting Superbad At The Same Time

The first time I watched a music video from Zack Villere, I noticed the top comment said: “how did frank ocean get trapped in mark zuckerberg.” And while that definitely gets at the heart of how Zack Villere presents himself, he is not a phenomenal singer like Frank Ocean is, nor does he come off as an asshole like Mark Zuckerberg does. I would say that he is just a slightly awkward nerdy white guy who loves hip-hop production and R&B melodies. So the better question is really, “how did drake get trapped in michael cera?” This premise should not work at all, but somehow it does. This is only Villere’s second album, but he shows some serious production and songwriting chops, plus a commitment to his delivery that comes across as genuine, charming, and unique. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Grateful” or “Superhero Strength”

The Slow Rush by Tame Impala  |  Psych Rock, Synth Pop, Disco Released: February 14, 2020

Best Album For... Throwing a Silent Disco For One 

Tame Impala continues on their now 10 year streak of psych rock dominance. Along the way we’ve seen Kevin Parker master and stretch the boundaries of psychedelic production. This has resulted in his music coming as close to sounding like the best aspects of The Beatles, while also expanding into hip hop drums, R&B hooks, plus more and more electronic elements. This is an album that I was not super impressed with when it initially came out, but as we entered the pandemic and were tasked with finding small joys in staying at home all the time, I found myself going back to this album and appreciating the themes of solitude and self reflection that Parker has drawn from throughout his career.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Posthumous Forgiveness” or “One More Hour”

1988 by Knxwledge  |  Hip-Hop Released: March 27, 2020

Best Album For... Pumping Your Brakes and Driving Slow, Uh *Homie* Although this album is named after a year in the 80s, the sound here is a perfect portal back to 90s golden era hip-hop, with all the gospel, soul samples, and the kind of deep bass you want to feel in your chest. This is the rare, largely instrumental hip-hop album that I find myself going back to, other than works from the legendary J Dilla and MF Doom. Knxwledge is good friends and a frequent collaborator with Anderson .Paak (in the form of NxWorries). Here we get Anderson to grace us with his presence on the track “itkanbe[sonice]”, and of course it sounds just like an authentic vintage soul sample. When I hear this collection of songs it makes me wish I still had a car, so I could inevitably damage my speakers listening to this.

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Start With: “dont be afraid” or “thats allwekando.”

Future Nostalgia by Dua Lipa  |  Pop, R&B, Funk, Disco Released: March 27, 2020 Best Album For... Alarming Your Pet With Your Enthusiastic Lip Syncing

This album is a pure sugar rush. Like Bruno Mars with the help of Mark Ronson, or Calvin Harris a few years ago, Dua has harnessed a nostalgia (it’s even in the title, wink) for disco, funk and R&B, and is instantly a sexy, catchy, not-so-guilty pleasure. It’s sad that the majority of these songs are all bonafide club hits that didn’t have a proper home this year … except for my living room. And hopefully yours.

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Start With: “Pretty Please” or “Future Nostalgia”

Hold Space For Me by Orion Sun  |  Alternative R&B and Hip-Hop Released: March 27, 2020

Best Album For... Wishing Frank Ocean Was Your Dad

“Alternative R&B” is a contentious term, but what else would you call one of a few R&B singers cool enough to make it onto (NYC indie darlings) Mom+Pop Records?? On one hand, she brings the vulnerable and introverted lyrics of an indie singer songwriter like Tracey Chapman, crossed with the raw presence and sweet melodic delivery of a true R&B star like Aaliyah. I’d even go far enough to refer to her as the musical stepchild of Frank Ocean and SZA.

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Start With: “Ne Me Quitte Pass (Don’t Leave Me)” or “Lightning”

You and Your Friends by Peach Pit  |  Indie Rock and Dream Pop Released: April 3, 2020

Best Album For... Going Back To Your College Town To Crash A Party

Peach Pit seem like they would be cool dudes to hang out with. You have no problem picturing them as the band playing a house show in an indie movie about college kids. And that’s because there’s a familiarity to the scenes that their songs portray, of stumbling through your 20s, either being too dumb or having too much fun to notice. It’s funny to refer to this as “Indie” rock since this is Peach Pit’s major label debut with Columbia Records. But It has all the trappings of Indie; sticky melodies, gentle reverb, an “I’m not trying that hard” vibe, and lyrics that are oddly specific enough to be interesting, but still vague enough to be relatable.

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Start With: “Feelin’ Low (Fuckboy Blues)” or “Shampoo Bottles”

Heaven To a Tortured Mind by Yves Tumor  |  Psych Rock, Indie Pop, Post-Punk, Alternative R&B, Experimental Electronic Released: April 3, 2020

Best Album For... Tearing Up The Fucking Dance Floor With Your Hot Robot Girlfriend

If Tyler the Creator, Alex G, King Krule, and Blood Orange all got into the studio together and dropped a shit ton of acid on Halloween, their recording session might sound something like Heaven To a Tortured Mind… And even then, you still might have trouble putting your finger on exactly what you’re hearing. “Dream Palette” is a good reference track for Tumor’s most wild and mesmerizing qualities. The biggest styles of the past half century of music have been loaded into this gleefully effective genre blender, with blades of dissonance slicing everything up, creating a surrealist sonic smoothie.

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Start With: “Super Stars” or “Dream Palette”

The New Abnormal by The Strokes  |  Indie Rock, Dirtbag Disco, Synth Pop Released: April 10, 2020

Best Album For... Mixing Yourself Another Drink This Saturday Night

Back from the dead, The Strokes return with their first album in 7 years to turn some heads and settle back into some old habits. The charming messy haired garage rock of the early 2000s still pops up here and there, but this is really a record where the group is mature enough to show you that they actually are trying, and are unafraid to take joyous swings for the fences. Julian Casablancas pushes his scratchy alley cat yelp of a voice into something more vulnerable, sunny, and sweet, like he asked for a piña colada (you know, with one of those little umbrellas) instead of a double shot of scotch before hopping up on stage… Or maybe he did both. But these days, everyone is looking for some sort of break from our groundhog day lives any way that we can. Sometimes that sounds like selling out, or depending on how you look at it, stepping up. This album is the result of a group of old friends who got together to make music they simply want to make for themselves. Now far removed from the 2000s New York scene where their younger selves were acting too cool and disaffected to care about having fun.

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Start With: “Eternal Summer” or “The Adults Are Talking”

The Loves of Your Life by Hamilton Leithauser  |  Indie Rock and Alternative Country Released: April 10, 2020

Best Album For... Drinking Down At The Docks, Watching The Sun Set

While I am a fan of The Walkmen, I have no idea what their frontman Hamilton Leithauser looks like or how he dresses. But hearing these songs off of his latest solo, I imagine the following: a member of Mumford and Sons if they were edgy and cooler, giving off a “cowboy rocker meets depression-era dock worker” aesthetic. That’s exactly how his music comes off to me. It’s a convincing blend of blues rock, Americana, and old timey country music. All expertly narrated by dusty country guitars and standup bass, tarnished horns and flutes, and what I imagine to be a restored saloon piano. The Loves of Your Life originally started as a collection of short stories, each about characters based on both people he knew and strangers. Leithauser then wrote the music separately, and finally came to mix and match their parts together in a surprisingly convincing fashion to create the album.

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Start With: “Wack Jack” or “Cross-Sound Ferry (Walk-On Ticket)”

What Kinda Music by Tom Misch and Yussef Dayes  |  Neo-Soul, Electronic, Hip-Hop

Released: April 24, 2020

Best Album For... Cooking For Someone You’re In Love With

Exactly what kind of music do Tom Misch and Yussef Dayes make? It’s orchestral, it’s jazz-infused, it’s hip-hop beats joined with gentle soul. It’s a little sexy, it’s a little mysterious, and you’re going to want to listen to it a whole lot. That’s it. That’s what kind of music it is! Send tweet. 

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Start With: “What Kinda Music” or “Storm Before The Calm”

Petals For Armor by Hayley Williams  |  Electronic Pop and Art Rock Released: May 8, 2020

Best Album For... Browsing Depop for Your Next 80s Normcore ‘Fit

Hayley, Hayley, Hayley. You are too good for this wretched world!! After exploring more adventurous sounds and genre hopping over the last few Paramore records, Hayley decided to go out on her own. This really frees herself from the expectations that come along with being the face and heart of a wildly popular band for the last 15+ years. Thom Yorke fans rejoice, because Hayley Williams has a clear admiration for Radiohead’s haunting indie electronic vibe, while emoting some pain and darkness atop her love for 80s pop and art rock (think Genesis, Devo, The Talking Heads). This is a promising new avenue for Hayley to explore herself and process her pain and desire completely on her own. I see this new project of hers only blooming further from here.

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Start With: “Simmer” or “Sudden Desire” 

Set My Heart On Fire Immediately by Perfume Genius  |  Indie Pop and Art Rock Released: May 15, 2020

Best Album For... Daydreaming That You Were Somewhere Else

For his 5th studio album, Perfume Genius enlists production wizard and guitar god Blake Mills, along with Grammy Award-winning arranger and multi-instrumentalist Rob Moose to create a beautiful swirling mosaic of 80s pastel pop that also packs serious classic rock grandeur. Bass guitar dances between satin smooth lines on one song to churning distorted currents on the next. Sparkling string arrangements and organs bleed together to expose a fading sunset that you’ll want to try and hold in your hands to keep it in sight. Perfume Genius is unafraid to challenge traditional masculinity, packing a 21st century queer machismo into both the quiet moments and jubilant explosions.

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Start With: “Without You” or “Describe”

græ by Moses Sumney  |  Indie Pop, Art Rock, Neo-Soul, Psychic Folk Released: May 15, 2020

Best Album For... Astral Projection 101 

I mean this in the best way possible, but I think that Moses Sumney is a witch. Or maybe a wizard? There’s no other reasonable explanation for the level of creativity and wonder that he summons. This album feels like a private concert by a waterfall (similar to one on the cover), with ethereal pleas, and heavy ideas—like meditating on what lies beyond the constraints of the physical self and reconsidering how well we can actually trust memory and the mind. Sumney layers his voice to create the effect of a ghostly choir, accented by a stark intimidating falsetto that reverberates through the ruins of an abandoned temple where Sumney is the only one in attendance.

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Start With: “Cut Me” or “Polly”

WILL THIS MAKE ME GOOD by Nick Hakim  |  Psychedelic Neo-Soul Released: May 15, 2020

Best Album For... Playing Pool in a Hazy Dive Bar

Nick Hakim is a silky smooth smokey crooner who paints with warbly piano loops, dreamy reverb-heavy guitar, boom bap beats—not to mention a falsetto that would make Smokey Robinson jealous. Clearly a fan of Motown and 60s jazz, Hakim could be considered a peer of Thunder Cat and Anderson .Paak’s to a degree. I remember seeing him perform at Music Hall of Williamsburg a few years ago. The performance ended with him falling down on stage (presumably from being under the influence of multiple substances). But while the song continued he popped back up and belted an impressive high note like it was nothing, drink in hand. And it’s that kind of messy beauty that also makes this album so engrossing. Like watching the eye of the storm get closer and closer, but unable to look away from the sheer magnetism that nature can wield.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  Start With: “All THESE CHANGES” or “ALL THESE INSTRUMENTS”

RTJ4 by Run The Jewels  |  Hip-Hop Released: June 3, 2020

Best Album For... Making Your Next Protest Sign

Run The Jewels’ fourth outing might be the most unapologetically angry rap album in the “fuck this” year of 2020. And it reminded me that I should absolutely still be furious about everything that happened during this groundbreaking yet terrifyingly familiar year: country wide protests over the continued murder of innocent black people at the hands of the police, government drone strikes and detaining kids in cages, the state of our environment worsening—and that’s not even addressing the pandemic or election. Killer Mike and El-P are here to scream from the rooftops that our current system of cutthroat capitalism and white supremacy is killing the planet and its inhabitants, and I’m glad that they’re using their platform to continue to sound the alarm.

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Start With: “out of sight” or “ooh la la”

Your Hero Is Not Dead by Westerman  |  New Wave Revival and Indie Pop Released: June 5, 2020 Best Album For... Wanting Your Old School MTV

The cover of Westerman’s first proper album is mostly black and white, except for the title, which is scrawled out in lettering which spans the Crayola color spectrum. It’s an album that on the surface is cold and buttoned up, but when these choruses open up, the maximalist 80s power pop bursts like the bulbs of a neon sign. There’s a level of even-keeled cool and confidence in small moments on display here that makes this relatively new artist seem well beyond his years. Having seen him play at Rough Trade a few years ago (opening up for the stellar Puma Blue), the songwriting growth on display on this record is impressive. I’m only sad that there wasn’t an opportunity to have seen him play these new songs live.

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Start With: “Easy Money” or “Confirmation (SSBD)” 

Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers  |  Indie Rock and Alternative Country Released: June 18, 2020

Best Album For... Burning Incense and Breaking Out a Ouija Board to Talk to The Ghost of Your Former Self

This is without a doubt, a career defining release for Phoebe. Taking everything she’s learned from writing, performing, and touring with the likes of Lucy Dacus and Julien Baker (in boygenius), and Conor Oberst (in Better Oblivion Community Center), Bridgers levels up to become the truly prolific singer-songwriter she’s been telling us she would always be. Bridgers has explained her personal definition of “a punisher” as a well meaning person who’s, “just talking to you and they don’t realize that your eyes are glazed over and you’re trying to escape.” Vital to understanding this album and its central message is that Phoebe finds herself caught between the contradiction of falling victim to this phenomenon while also doing it herself, especially if she ever met her musical idol, Elliott Smith. Punisher serves as a warning to her audience that if you focus too much on trying to find yourself through other people (via escaping through fandom, drugs, toxic relationships), you’ll always feel lost and dissatisfied, without the proper self awareness to ever quite know why. 

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Start With: “Garden Song” or “ICU”

Women In Music Pt. III by HAIM  |  Rock, Pop, Folk, R&B Released: June 26, 2020

Best Album For... Preparing For A Better 2021, lol 

With this album, HAIM skyrocketed to the #1 position of family bands that start with an “H.” Sorry, Hanson! But seriously, HAIM has outdone themselves on this one. If there was one album from this list that I would dub my personal AOTY, this would be it. You might wince at any tracklist longer than 10-12 songs these days (I know I usually do), but almost every song proves itself worthy, pulling at a different thread of my heart until there’s nothing left. Sunshine State Beach Pop? Check. Blues Tinged Dad Rock? Yup! Dive Bar Country? Mmhmm! No, wait, what’s that you say, Glitched-Out R&B? Yes, yes, and yes. You can have it all, sister! ‘Cause when you’re Haim, you’re family! ;) And these three “women in music” continue to prove that they are just about the best Assorted Pop Rocks(™) act in the world right now.

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Start With: “I’ve Been Down” or “Don’t Wanna”

Lianne La Havas by Lianne La Havas  |  Neo-Soul and Indie Pop Released: July 17, 2020

Best Album For... Sipping Coffee and Journaling on a Weekend Morning

This album exudes a warm vulnerability, like a comforting hug we all needed this year. On her third album, Lianne La Havas makes the risky decision to self title it, a move that artists make when they believe that it is the piece of work that they most want most directly associated with their name. It’s one thing to name your first album after yourself if you can’t think of anything else at the time, but to make a self titled album in the middle of your career, it means that you are sure about having captured who you really are and who you want people to remember you as. “If I love myself, I know I can't be no one else,” La Havas admits on the standout track, “Paper Thin.” She knows that she will meet her destiny and reach self actualization, but only through self love. And finally, I cannot overstate how breathtaking La Havas’s voice comes across on this album. The strength and control on display in her vocal tone and vibrato is quite a spectacle. 

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Start With: “Paper Thin” or “Sour Flower”

Limbo by Aminé  |  Hip-Hop and R&B Released: August 7, 2020

Best Album For... Trying and Get Over Kanye With

On Limbo, Aminé establishes himself as one of the torchbearers of soul-sampling, lyrics-driven hip-hop that still cares about storytelling, skits, and presenting vocals clearly. Kanye West, Drake, and J. Cole all paved the way for someone from the next generation like Aminé to keep the dream alive and avoid succumbing to the “feel good, don’t think” form of passive listening that mumble rap has made the standard for mainstream hip-hop.

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Start With: “Pressure In My Palms” or “My Reality”

Shore by Fleet Foxes  |  Folk and Indie Rock Released: September 22, 2020

Best Album For... Running Along The Beach With Your Arms Stretched Out

It was really kind of Robin Pecknold and co. to have released an album this triumphant, calming, and awe-inspiring during the year of our Lorde 2020. On behalf of myself and anyone else who suffers from Seasonal Affective Disorder, the SAD people of the world really needed this, man. And to anyone who is quick to judge these beard-o’s of being boring, you’re simply not using your ears properly. Yeah, you know those two things on either side of your head? Get the gunk out of them! That way you’ll hear the choir of angels with acoustic guitars who are here to guide us through quarantine and beyond. 

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Start With: “Can I Believe You” or “A Long Way Past The Past” 

Listen to all of these albums together in our playlist.