#also i am SO sorry for just getting to this ask (and sorry to everyone else as well)

[theyluvkarolina]

𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍’ 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐏𝐈𝐃

· . ୨୧⭒๋࣭ ⭑ ` ` And then I go and spoil it all, By saying somethin' stupid like, "I love you" ` ` ⊹ ‧₊˚

𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃?: Yes! (Part of 1K Event!)

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 ୨୧ Being Max’s strategist is a experience you’d cherish forever. The constant laughter, friendly teasing, shared smiles after wins, is also something Max would never change. But in Max's case, he see’s nothing of this as simply friendly. But sometimes, words are best kept to oneself.

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 ୨୧ Max Verstappen x Strategist!Fem!Reader

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ୨୧ some photos of kelly get used but i blur out her face, rejection, ANGSTY 🥴🥴, a very slight song fic? (they are listening to it so not really a song fic)

𝐀/𝐍 ୨୧ So so sorry this took longer than expected! My schedule was not my bestie last week 😞 but i have a very special note for my pookie bear ash at the bottom 🫶🫶 (FOLLOW HER ON @maxtermind !! SHE HAS AMAZING WORKS)

1K EVENT MASTERLIST

2021

y/n_rbstrat ✔︎

liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing, danielricciardo, and others

y/n_rbstrat Max. Maxie. Max Emilian Verstappen ladies and gentlemen, your 2021 World Champion. I’m so lucky and proud to have been your strategist and I pray it’s this way for years to come. Seeing you grow along with me is something I’m forever grateful for. I love you so much, my best friend 🩷

tagged ; maxverstappen1, redbullracing

2,409 comments

username1 STOP THE MAX CELEBRATION POST :(

username2 what if i started crying rn

username3 “I love you so much, my best friend” hurt.

→ username4 NO BC WTF DO YOU MEAN FRIENDS??? Y/N HAVE YOU SEEN HOW HE LOOKS AT YOU?? → username5 max is punching air.

maxverstappen1 ✔︎ couldn’t have done it without the best strategist ever ❤️

→ y/n_rbstrat ✔︎ and i couldn’t have done it with the best driver ever 😊 ❤️ → landonorris ✔︎ fucking hell just kiss already → username6 HELP LANDO → username7 bro had enough → landonorris ✔︎ trust me if you see these two all the time in person and refuse to acknowledge their feelings, you want it to be done with. → maxverstappen1 ✔︎ what are you talking about?? → landonorris ✔︎ you know. → username8 if they don’t get together i think i might throw myself off the highway → charles_lelerc ✔︎ “best strategist” huh?

username9 max and y/n hugging is my roman empire.

username10 we are all delusional for y/nstappen.

maxverstappen1 ✔︎

liked by y/n_rbstrat, redbullracing, charles_leclerc, and others

maxverstappen1 truly unbelievable. i want to thank red bull, my family, friends, y/n, and everyone else for their support. 2021 World Champion 🏆 🎉

tagged ; y/n_rbstrat, redbullracing

5,305 comments

username11 Y/N GETTING HER OWN MENTION HAS MY HEART 😭

username12 if they don’t date i might cry

username13 the hug 😭 ❤️

username14 i feel so single rn

charles_leclerc ✔︎ congratulations! i hope you remember our deal 😉

→ landonorris ✔︎ why wasn’t I informed about this deal??? → georgerussel63 ✔︎ we all know you can’t keep a secret lando → alexalbon ✔︎ says the one that follows gossip accounts and asks us if we know stuff in the gc. → georgerussel63 ✔︎ im not as bad as charles and pierre… those two do it in public WITHOUT SHAME 😒 → pierregasly ✔︎ DONT DRAG ME INTO THIS → username15 HELLO WHAT IS ALL OF THIS?? → username16 NO BECAUSE I NEED TO BE PART OF THIS F1 GROUP CHAT 😭

y/n_rbstrat ✔︎ stop it max i’m going to cry!! im so proud of you! i would never trade my favorite driver for anything in the world ❤️🥹

→ danielricciardo ✔︎ favorite driver??? what the hell am i?? 🙄 → maxverstappen1 ✔︎ the side piece now that you left → danielricciardo ✔︎ uncalled for. → y/n_rbstrat ✔︎ be nice boys pls :( → maxverstappen1 ✔︎ yes ma’am → danielricciardo ✔︎ simp → maxverstappen1 ✔︎ i didn’t know being nice was me being a simp → danielricciardo ✔︎ mate, i saw you literally carrying all her things into the paddock?? you never did that for me → maxverstappen1 ✔︎ last time i checked she’s MY ENGINEER → danielricciardo ✔︎ ugh whatever you say… → username17 guys idk about you but i think max only likes y/n → username18 the way he doe everything for her and she doesn’t see this as love 😭 → username19 i mean she did say in a interview she wasn’t looking for any relationships because of how good her career is doing → username20 idk about anyone else.. but I feel like the day max confesses is the day their relationship comes crashing down. → username21 DON’T START SAYING THIS BS NOW.

Twitter

iMessages

Twitter

In Person

The heavy, thumping bass reverberates through the walls as you stand in the corner of the club. The club was never your thing. The floors constantly holding spilled drinks and other concoctions, the smell of BO and alcohol overwhelming your senses, the crowded atmosphere filled with sweating people… safe to say if it weren’t for Max dragging you out to be with the team celebrating you would be wrapped in blankets watching some sort of trashy reality TV show.

Max finally made his way over to you, a wide grin plastered on his face, clearly in his element here. He took in the sight of you. Every curve of your body, yevery way your hair falls, the way your eyes twinkle slightly when you notice him, the look of your red lips. He can never get tired of it.

"Hey, glad you made it out," he shouted over the music, the classic rasp in his voice showing as he clapped you on the back trying to hope you haven’t noticed his staring.

You managed a weak smile, feeling out of place amidst the pulsating energy of the club. "Of course," you replied, slightly raising your voice to be heard, “ you think I’d miss celebrating your Championship win?”.

Max gave a smile, “Never. Besides, if you said no, I’d find someway to get you to come over here.”.

You raised a brow at his statement. “Really? How so?”

Max let out a hum as he sloshed his drink in his cup. “Hm… I’m not too sure. Not seeing the cats are a good place to start.”, a smirk tugged at his lips.

Your raised brow turned into a furrow in disbelief, “You wouldn’t dare… not Jimmy and Sassy… they love me!” You exclaimed while Max gave a laugh, running his hand through his blonde stands, well more of him doing a hair-tuck to his nonexistent length. The conversation soon comes to a halt, although the music is booming, it felt as if it is just you and him in the entire world at the moment. It was your own form of silence. A comfortable one.

"How about we get out of here.” He suggested, breaking the silence.

“Leave? Max, we just got here! You said-“

“I asked you to celebrate with me, I never said where. It’s my Championship win after all.” He smiled, his eyes wrinkling from his proposition. “We only met here because this is where the team would be. It’s not as if they would notice we’re gone anyways… they are too wasted to even think.”

You tried to hide your smile but failed as Max extended his hand pressing it against your back, his eyes shining with mischief.

"Come on, let's get out of here," he urged. And suddenly, the pulsating energy of the club faded into the background as if the world outside those doors was beckoning to you.

You both stepped out into the cool night air, and beyond the hustle and bustle of the city, there was a strange serenity. It was as if time slowed down, and you found myself feeling more alive than you had in a long while. Max’s hand felt warm… reassuring… friendly. A steady presence in the midst of the urban chaos.

Being a woman in the industry of Formula One caused many controversies, let alone being a engineer to one of the possible best upcoming drivers in the history of the sport. From the sexist comments from other Formula One fans, to even your own people, co-workers in the workplace. Their degrading looks given to you if you even tried to hold a conversation with them was enough to be said. It wasn’t until a response to a interview did others begin to take you seriously. One that Max himself gave.

"Max, how do you feel about having a new, female engineer like Y/N on your team, especially during such a critical incident like the one with Bottas in Hungary? Do you think her gender affected her performance under pressure and can contribute to this race in Belgium? I mean, women are known to crack more under pressure then men.“ The interviewer asked as the room went quiet, a singular cough reverberating in the room from the tension of the atmosphere becoming so thick you can cut it with a knife.

“Excuse me?” Max questioned, his voice holding a tone filled of disbelief and slight disgust.

“I said, Max, how do you feel about-“

“No, no, I understood what you said I’m not deaf.” Her cut the journalist off making the journalist pause his speech and hold his tongue. “Look, I couldn’t care less about her gender. What matters to me is if she can do the job, which she’s been doing remarkably well. And as for the incident with Bottas in Hungary, she handled the pressure just like any other competent engineer would. It wasn’t her fault. I’ll take the blame for it. Her gender has nothing to do with it. If anything, it adds a fresh perspective to our team, and that’s a good thing. Now if anyone has any other questions like this asshole over here, I would pick another question to do.”

No one dared to speak of you the way the interviewer did.

After the interview, you approached Max who happened to be watching over some data from the sim. Blue eyes focused with such intensity that he didn’t even notice you.

”Max, I wanted to thank you for standing up for me in there. It means a lot to have your support." You commented softly, not wanting to disrupt him due to Max being known for his rather… straightforward and blunt responses.

"No problem. We're a team, and a team supports each other. Your gender shouldn’t matter in the first place. It’s all about weather you can do your job and your doing just fine.” He said matter of fact.

You nodded, feeling a sense of camaraderie and mutual respect. You weren’t used to it one bit. But it felt amazing. As if you can actually walk somewhere and not be treated as if you were a piece of dirt.

”Thanks you... I'm glad to be part of this team, and I'll keep giving my best."

A tender look graced your face as you remember the memory, finally gaining a friend in the hell of a industry, but you wouldn’t change it in the world if it meant that you got to meet Max and work with him. While you both walked along the quiet streets, the sounds of the city and the soft glow of the street lights enveloping us in a kind of magical cocoon.

“So… where are we going?”

“You’ll see.” was his only response, making you roll your eyes.

You two continued walking until you reach a secluded area on the white, sandy beach of the UAE. You look up to the dark, noir sky. The sun was long gone and the only shine that hits your skin was the moonlight, complemented by the clusters of stars crafting their own soft glow. Max stared at you as if you were some sort of marble statue, hand crafted by the Greeks.

How can someone be so beautiful?

The humming song from a nearby restaurant or bar was the only sound heard. It was a gentle melody, one that fits the mood so far into the night.

"Care to dance?” Max finally asked, snapping you out of your trance.

“Dance? What are we? In our early 20’s?” You teased, eyes meeting his blue eyes that glisten like the moon’s reflection in the oceans waves.

"Age doesn't define how we have fun," he retorted. You couldn't help but snort a bit, feeling the lightheartedness of the moment.

"Alright, why not?" you agreed, letting him lead you to a spot under the faint light of a nearby lamppost. He placed his calloused hand onto the small of your back, close to your hip just as he did to lead you out of the club, then leading your hand to be placed onto his shoulder

As the music enveloped you, you swayed to the gentle rhythm, feeling the warmth of the sand under your feet and the cool breeze from the ocean as his eyes meet yours.

`` I practice every day, To find some clever lines to say, To make the meaning come true ``

“I’m proud of you you, y’know that?”

“You’ve told me once or twice.”

“It’s true though.” You reassure.

“It’s just as true as me saying how beautiful you are.”

`` But then I think I'll wait Until the evening gets late And I'm alone with you ``

You let out a chuckle. “Smooth Max Emilian Verstappen. Very smooth. Practicing for some girl that caught your eye or something?”

His eyes slightly widen before losing contact with yours, “Maybe I am…”, his cheeks being brushed with a slight red.

“Well she must be a lucky girl. Anyone would be lucky to have you.”

It goes faint.

`` The time is right, your perfume fills my head The stars get red, and, oh, the night's so blue ``

“Can-…” Max starts glancing back at you before cutting himself off choking on his own words.

“What is it, Max?”

“Godverdomme… can I tell you something?”

“Anything. I’m you friend after all.”

Friend.

`` And then I go and spoil it all By saying somethin' stupid like, "I love you" ``

"I love you.”

“You… you what?”

Your movement stops.

“I love you Y/N. So much. Ever since you walked in the office I-“

“No… no no no… “

“…What?”

“Max… please tell me your messing with me…”

He is just your friend. But you’re his everything.

Twitter

𝐀/𝐍 ୨୧ Ash, my love, my pookie, the love of my life, you my love re the reason I’m here today. If it weren’t for you reaching out and becoming friends with me in March, I don’t know where I’d be right now. Whether it be reviewing our work together, watching GP’s together, sending THOSE edits to one another, and even just random rants and talks, I’m glad it was you who I was with when I started my writing journey and I wouldn’t change a thing. I really hope you like this fic, I def tried my best with it 🥹🫶 LOVE YOU LOTS LOVELY 🩷

[bunnliix]

When Eight Becomes Nine - Chapter Five

I'm kinda on a roll with these chapters, so I hope everyone is enjoying the frequent updates as well!

Pairing: Ateez x 9th member!reader Summary: The vocal assessments with Hongjoong are finally finished, and Hongjoong gets some sense knocked into him by a friend. Plus some cute moments! And a special appearance from an idol! wc: 2k AU: a/b/o Genre: Fluff/Angst Nets: @newworldnet warnings: much needed apologies, anxiety and nerves, Hongjoong getting sense knocked into him, I think that's it honestly, lemme know if there's anything I'm missing please! masterlist

The next day, Hongjoong woke to find himself still in the studio, though he wasn’t alone. He turned around to find his hyung sitting on the couch behind him.

“You’re awake.” Chan stated, looking at him,

“What are you doing here, hyung?” Hongjoong asked him.

“Seonghwa asked me to come talk some sense into you. Since you’re clearly struggling with that right now.”

Hongjoong looked down, away from Chan’s gaze. He was ashamed that even his hyung had come to know of what he’d done yesterday.

“I would have the same reaction as you did, if I was in your shoes.” Bang Chan told him, making the younger man look up. “I’d be as pissed off as you were, and are still. But, I would never have taken it out on others, others who don’t deserve your anger. But I’m sure you know by now how much you’ve fucked up.”

Hongjoong looked away again, unable to face the older man. He knew he had fucked up, that he had probably messed up any trust the auditionees had in him, and there would be no easy way to regain that trust. But he would have to do it. The first course of action would be to apologize to all of them for his actions, for how he took his anger out on them, when he shouldn’t have.

“I take it by the silence, you know what you have to do?” When Chan received a nod from the other alpha, he stood up and moved over to him. “I know it might seem like you’ve fucked up too much to be forgiven, but it will be okay, Hongjoong. You just have to fix things, and I’m sure you know where to start.” The younger man looked up at the elder with worry and hope in his eyes. “Besides, if you’re looking for the people you have to apologize for, they’re outside. Since you didn’t finish everyone’s vocal reviews yesterday.” Chan reminded him, before leaving him and walking to the door.

Outside the studio…

Y/n and the others, minus the few who seemed to have been cut overnight, stood outside the studio waiting. They had been instructed to return, since not all of them had finished the vocal assessment yesterday, including y/n. She was nervous that Hongjoong would be as strict and gruff as he had been the previous day. She didn’t want to have to face that today, when she’d be one of the ones that had to sing in front of him.

However they weren’t expecting who came out of the studio.

“Hello everyone. I’m probably not the person you were expecting, but the person you were expecting will be out in a minute or two. Good luck to those who are the few left to do the vocal assessment. I’m sure you’ll do well! Fighting!” The idol said, before walking down the hall.

He wasn’t wrong, it was a few minutes before Hongjoong appeared at the door of the studio. The idol looked worse for wear, though he quickly plastered on a less tired look.

“Come on in.” He said, no malice in his voice this time around.

Everyone filed into the room, as he took a seat at one of the chairs at the desk, just like he had the previous day. He looked at all of them, and y/n could see that the annoyance and anger that she had seen yesterday had seemingly disappeared overnight.

“Before we start, I have something to say to you all, and an apology to make. I am sorry for my actions yesterday, for nonverbally pushing you all to fail, for purposefully wanting none of you to live up to the impossible standards I silently set for you all. I am also sorry for taking my anger out on all of you. None of you deserved that, nor should I ever have involved any of you in a situation where you are innocent. Where the blame shouldn’t have fallen on you, instead I should have directed that anger at the parties that I have the problem with. I should not have said what I said to you, should not have told you, any of you, that you were unwanted. I’m very grateful that each of you wanted to audition, and I’m grateful that you’re here and that you came back after my actions yesterday. I would have understood if none of you wanted to come back here or interact with me after my horrible words, and I still understand if you would rather Mingi be here in my place.” Hongjoong apologized to all of them, standing and bowing low to all of them, in hopes of expressing just how apologetic and regretful he was of his actions the day prior. 

Everyone was silent, not exactly sure how to respond to the alpha’s apology. It was true that his outburst yesterday was hurtful. Anyone who was a fan of Ateez would feel hurt by it. But with the truth of his words yesterday, it was easy to see how and why he had felt that way. Did it make his actions right? Absolutely not. But it made them understandable, and they could sympathize with it.

“I don’t want to say your actions are okay, because they’re not, but they’re understandable given the circumstances.” Y/n spoke up, making Hongjoong look up at her.

“Should you have yelled at us, for something we had no hand in? No. But the reasons behind your outburst were and are understandable. As an Atiny, I understand how much you feel responsible for Ateez, and the other members, and how it’s your baby. But person to person, it wasn’t right to take your anger out on us, when it’s KQ you should be directing it towards.” She continued, her hands shaking as she held them behind her back. She was nervous doing this, but she felt she had to. No one else was stepping up to do so.

The others nodded along, her words voicing, for the most part, how they all felt. That while his actions are wrong, his feelings were and are valid.

“Are we okay to continue today then? If not, I completely understand.” Hongjoong asked softly, looking nothing like the alpha he was. He had quietly sat back down in his chair, looking at them tentatively, like they were going to tell him to leave.

Y/n looked at the others, who seemed to look to her, the omega, to be the one to talk, in an ironic turn of events.

“We’re okay to continue.” She told him, and that brought some of his signature Hongjoong energy back. He smiled, turning to one of the other few who hadn’t gone yesterday, instructing them to hop into the recording booth. The papers from yesterday were still in there, but this time he told the beta that they’d be singing along to Wave this time. A much less stressful song to sing than Wonderland. And everyone could see the enjoyment in the beta as they sang along, matching the tone of the song wonderfully. Hongjoong had them sing another few of the group’s songs, before having them come out, and turning to y/n, as she realized she miscounted how many hadn’t gone the day before, and that she was the final one to go.

“The lone omega is the last one to go, hmm?” Hongjoong remarked, “Time for you to hop into the booth and show me what you have.” He finished, smiling at her.

She did so, her nerves growing as she situated herself in the booth, before Hongjoong’s voice brought her out of her head.

“Okay! We’re going to start off with Halazia! I know it’s a tiny bit more difficult, but I believe you can do it.” Hongjoong told her, letting her get set up before starting the track.

She was a nervous wreck starting out, considering Halazia was her introduction to Ateez, so singing the song that led her to find Ateez, in front of Hongjoong, was an ironic turn of fate. She closed her eyes, not looking at anyone as she started singing, she couldn't bear seeing the others’ reactions, let alone the idol judging her vocal abilities. 

She got through the song, it all felt like a blur honestly. She knew she hadn’t nailed Jongho’s high note, but she definitely had nailed Mingi and Hongjoong’s raps out of some sort of miracle. She heard clapping, and opened her eyes to see that Aaron and some of the others were clapping for her, and looking over at Hongjoong, she could see a bit of a smirk on his face.

“Damn, color me impressed. How about a slightly easier one this time, Pirate King.” He told her, leading her to shuffle the pages until she found the lyrics for it, looking up at him once she found it. 

Before he could start the track, a staff member’s head popped into the room. “Are you finished evaluating all of the auditionees yet? We need them back in the dance room for another round of practice.”

“I’ve finished with everyone except the omega in the booth right now.” Hongjoong informed her.

“Okay. Finish up with her and then send her to your regular practice room. I’ll take everyone else now.” She told him, before motioning for everyone else to follow her.

Y/n looked at Hongjoong, who looked back at her before speaking up. “Well, just the two of us now. But let’s hear you sing our debut song.”

He started the music, watching her as she seemed more confident this time around. She actually did pretty damn well, much better than Halazia. Her confidence was through the roof for this song, and he could tell she was in her comfort zone. She never hesitated on a single note. Once she got to his own part in verse two, he was even more amazed, as she changed the lyrics slightly, from Pirate King to Pirate Queen. It was a common sense change, but the way she almost mimicked him while rapping his part was amazing. Somehow this song brought out the confidence that she didn’t seem to have before. Yesterday and even today, she was timid and quiet, trying to keep to the background. Today, and specifically right now, she was on fire. Honestly he’d give her this part in the song if she became their ninth member, just so he could see her sing it again.

Once she finished, he stood up and clapped, making her turn to look at him in shock. He entered the recording booth, pulling her back out of it as she still looked at him with shock.

“Where is the timid omega that was here yesterday? Though I shouldn’t be surprised, you’re the only one who was able to respond to me today. You did amazingly, especially on my part. The confidence level was amazing. I could see how nervous you were during Halazia, but that disappeared during Pirate King, why?” He rambled on, before asking her.

“Halazia is the song that got me into Ateez, and made me an Atiny. But Pirate King is the song that I’ll jam out to, and that I really enjoy as a song to vibe to. So I was nervous about getting Halazia right, whereas I kinda let go while singing and rapping Pirate King.” She told him, looking down at her lap.

“Ahh, Halazia brought you to us, that’s cute. And I enjoyed hearing you cover my part in Pirate King, you really make it your own, you know that?” Hongjoong said, making her look at him, finding that he was looking at her with a soft smile on his face.

However, Wooyoung burst in the room, stopping any more sweet moments between the alpha and omega.

“HYUNG, I HEARD Y/N WAS HERE!” He shouted, before spotting y/n, “Oh! Hi! You’re coming with me now!” He half-yelled, before stomping over to the two. He snatched her hand away from Hongjoong’s before pulling her up and off the couch on another adventure. The slightly older omega quickly led the other omega out of the room, as Hongjoong could hear his voice as y/n was kidnapped from him.

“Come on! This time we’re meeting Han and Felix! They agreed to come and meet with us at a local cafe!” Wooyoung’s voice could be heard as he pulled y/n down the hallway.

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@lxsunshine @ismelllikechlorine247 @fr34k4c1dr41n @ateez-atiny380 @sapphirewaves

@davinashifts333 @cookiesandcreammy @not-straight-kait @hoeforalbedo @calisnewworld 

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Taglist is: open!

[feyburner]

I loved LOVED a word, a look, will be enough. I’m obsessed with the way you write jason and tim. No pressure to answer this at all, but I was curious if you have a headcanon about how the missing spleen reveal eventually goes

Jay »

Good afternoon Timothy.

« tim

uh oh

Jay »

I just had a fascinating conversation with Doc thompson

Care to hazard a guess about what?

« tim

pollen season

Jay »

No.

« tim

bird flu

Jay »

Is there a reason you havent told anyone in your life that you dont have a fucking spleen?

« tim

okay first of all

i’m not sure why doc thompson felt the need to tell you my private medical information

pretty sure they have a rule about that

Jay »

It’s not her fault.

I mentioned that you got whammied with that stupid germ bomb from Typhoid Tony or whatever the fuck his name was

« tim

vik vyral

Jay »

And she got all serious and told me I should get you into the clinic asap, and I was like no he’s fine now, it was basically a 24 hour bug, and she was like no, theres no such thing as a 24 hour bug for him, he needs to come get his blood tested yesterday

And then she clearly realized I had no fucking clue what she was talking about and clammed up. Wouldn’t say a thing. Told me to ask you myself.

Jay »

The look she gave me when I said you slept it off and went back to work. Like I should know better. like I was letting you be careless and shit bc thats just how I am or something.

« tim

“letting” me?

Jay »

yeah. Letting you. I know you know what I mean

« tim

i’m not sure i do.

Jay »

When youre with someone you take care of them.

I dont pretend to know much about this shit but I know that.

I’m not talking about handcuffing you to the radiator. Im talking about knowing whats going on with you and knowing that sometimes you let shit slide that I wouldn’t. When it comes to you

You do that for me and the others all the time. Thats how it works.

« tim

doc thompson doesn’t know you’re “with” me

Jay »

If you think everyone doesn’t know exactly what’s going on then your detective skills need work

Jay »

Also, Jesus, Tim.

« tim

ok sorry, i didn’t mean the scare quotes part

but did you pause to consider maybe there’s a reason i haven’t told everyone other than whatever shortsighted masochistic bs you’re assuming

Jay »

I dont need you to tell everyone. I’m not asking you to write a report on it.

Just like. if there’s any other major medical shit can you maybe tell me

Before you fucking die of a sinus infection or whatever bc the asshole who lives with you didn’t know your immune system has the horsepower of a bicycle

« tim

did you know you curse more when you’re fronting like you’re not worried about me

Jay »

I’m actually not fronting! in this moment!

« tim

okay

well. i am sorry

that sounded sarcastic bc of who i am as a person

but it’s not. i mean it.

Jay »

Sorry for yelling at you

« tim

i dont wanna go into it over text but i’ll tell you tonight. okay?

about what happened.

also there’s nothing else. it’s just the spleen thing

ok?

Jay »

Okay.

« tim

well and the mango allergy

well. and i’m double jointed specifically bc i have joint-hypermobility syndrome

which is why im so flexible :)

but also why i dislocate things a lot :(

um and im mildly allergic to carrots, bananas, pineapples, and most legumes, but it’s fine they just make my tongue itch

i think that’s all

Jay »

Tim can you be honest with me for a second

« tim

yeah…

Jay »

Are you inbred

« tim

NSJDN/&2&jdj?!_£_??

Jay »

Like are you that type of rich person

You can tell me. We are not going to procreate so I dont mind either way

« tim

just scared the living shit out of an intern who had never seen me laugh before. i think she thought i was choking

jesus CHRIST

i will see you at home.

Jay »

You

didn’t answer the question….

[meanbossart]

Just thinking thoughts about Orin and Drow lore, and idk if this has been asked already, but

If Orin had just disappeared for like a year, not even Sceleritas could find her, with how obsessive pre-tadpole Drow was how would he handle that? Aside from being prideful and murdery, I don’t remember in the pre-tadpole Drow lore about any instance (after he made it to the temple) of him expressing anything else. Did the two ever have a wholesome moment?

Hmmmm not wholesome, no. I'm sorry to disappoint people who might wanted to see a more explicitly vulnerable side to both of them at that stage in their lives, but that's just not... How I envision things. I don't think anyone born into the temple would have had much room to express themselves in the way average people do.

What they did have was an undeniable connection and mutual understanding. This lasted for about 7 years, so between ages 18-25 for DU drow. (Canonically he's currently 28, give or take). I think that, sometimes, they also silently understood among themselves that things weren't always fair or good.

This might sound like a whole load of nothing to some people, but based on the culture within the cult, Orin's story, and the behavior of everyone involved in it, it seems huge to me that two people who were essentially groomed to be the embodiment of murder would harbor any kind of care for one another, even if it was subtle. The fact that they could share a bed, talk shit about Sarevok, and seamlessly work together and share in the glory of their deeds as equals is what intimacy looked like for them - before DU drow's ego (and the very need of a more explicitly intimate connection with someone, to be fair) got to his head.

They killed together, they rolled around in blood together, they bickered and fought and one time Orin stabbed him in the gut and DU drow punched her jaw out of it's socket. Then they flopped down on the ground and cackled about it while Sceleritas rushed in to stop the bleeding. Is that wholesome? I think for deified bhaalspawn who know nothing but that life it's the closest it gets.

There had to have been quiet moments I'm sure. Like Orin waiting around while DU drow got ready to go somewhere, him adjusting her headpiece, Orin slicing her brother's long hair off when he first arrived and looked like some sort of sinewy wood's creature. At night, they probably laid in bed in silence and sometimes stared at each other until either fell asleep.

I am very interested in not inventing an obscured, soft side to Orin that we didn't get to see, you know? While she wasn't always the level of manic we see in-game, she was completely unfit to function normally due to her upbringing, and this reflects in her relationships. DU drow is also undeniably emotionally stunted, just in a slightly different way.

I got off rambling to no one's surprise LOL but to answer the first part of your question - I don't think he would have been quite as dramatic about Orin just up and vanishing, as there's no explicit suggestion of death in that. He would have been insufferable to be around for a while, but in that scenario I could see his duties keeping him busy.

Not to mention that, while through death, she would be leaving him unwillingly - disappearing with no trace implies the uncomfortable possibility that she truly, honestly, just didn't want to be around him. That allows room for contempt and bitterness to fester until you wrongly convince yourself there was never any love there at all, even if just to soothe your own conscience.

He would have just become a much, much worse person that way in the sense that he would have nothing to focus on besides for his lord's will - as horrific as his attitude towards Orin was, it is very much a human feature to desperately cling to connection. With Orin around, he had a little bit of fucked up tenderness and love in him - it was a personal desire completely separate from his "job", a vestige of free-will. Without her, he just has Bhaal and whatever Bhaal wants.

Orin has always unwittingly anchored him, and then, later freed him. And he never ever deserved any of it.

🤷

[rusmii]

so ik I said I'm not one for drama, but I feel as if I need to speak up abt a certain subject that's been circulating recently. I wanna show awareness to others abt this person's behavior, because it's reoccurring in any fandom they're apart of/potentially will be in.

WARNING : DO NOT GO OUT TO HARASS/SEND HATE TO ANYONE MENTIONED IN THIS POST ! it is simply intended to raise awareness

tws;;; manipulation, gaslighting, victim complex, refusing to change/refusing help from others, blaming others for their own problems, lashing out/sudden meltdowns, accidental misgendering, accidental crossed boundaries, lack of communication, taking their anger out on people, drugs, usage of weed/being high, hardcore gatekeeping characters, suicide mentions, threatening to commit suicide, mentions of self harm, sexual assault/harassment, human trafficking, burdening others with their vents and problems, gets sensitive and possessive over fictional characters, major hypocrisy.

edit; sorry accidently posted without adding the last bit of screenshots... had to repost :p

@/lu-naes or luma ( prev known as @/dazaisdior + @/kurolumiis ) has been active in many writing communities, but have been the most active in the; wuwa, bsd, genshin/hsr communities.

starting out in the genshin community, I am unsure abt lumas original rep there, but I do know that they were practically forced out with a horrible rep to their name.

going around the end of their time in the genshin community, it was brought to light, about lumas excessive + subconsciously manipulative discord messages in a genshin server they were in.

here is the link to the og callout post from someone in the genshin community. if u were blocked by them bc u were associated with luma.

CALLOUT POST

LINK TO SCREENSHOTS IF U WERE BLOCKED

TDLR; luma, as a minor, has been in nsfw spaces and even creating nsfw pieces of their own. they had been known as a terrible gatekeeper towards their f/os, including; xiao + scaramouche [genshin], dazai + ranpo [bsd], dan heng/imbibitor lunae [hsr], scar + jiyan [wuwa]. luma would then go on to say that they felt like killing themselves, and how awful/left out they felt whenever they saw their f/os being selfshipped with someone else. they also at the age of 16 have admitted to being under the influence of weed and has mentioned drugs on their blog many times. i don't know exactly where luma has been finding weed to get high on, but I do hope they have stopped now.

here are some screenshots of my dms with them on their prev acc @/dazaisdior or @/kurolumiis, informing them of the callout post and asking some questions concerning the gatekeeping and drugs/being high;

LINK TO SCREENSHOTS OF THE DM

luma had given me really vague answers, but since it was their buisness and privacy, I didn't push any further. ultimately in the end, I've decided to give them a second chance to redeem themselves because I thought that they may have matured or at least somewhat grown out of their toxic ways since the genshin community.

giving them a second chance was a mistake on my end, as I soon found out that they in fact, would not change. instead I got to saw the side of them that the genshin community saw—and just as history repeats, it happened on discord again.

at the start, luma was fine, yknow- acting normal like everyone else right? they did vent a lot in the vent channel, but I didn't rlly bat an eye at it bc they were at least venting in the right place.

at a certain point in the server, we had confronted luma abt writing nsfw—telling them that it was wrong to be writing smut as a minor. we had offered them many alternatives, such as; writing smut but not posting it until they're 18 and writing smut but in a journal or something. this went on for abt 2 hours until luma decided to become a sfw blog and create an entirely new acc which is now @/lu-naes.

not just about writing nsfw though, we had also confronted them about posting daily vents without using their vent tag the past recent month or so. and now, I am not saying that they couldn't vent—venting is fine, but when it comes to daily vents like lumas, there should be some sort of tag to it ( or put it under a cut ) to block out their vents. we did end up suggesting for them to make a side/vent/personal blog if they wanted to, and so they took up that offer and created @/lumxiaos, to which they've constantly subposted abt us on.

luma, during these two confrontations, was very gaslight-y/a little manipulative with their responses but we can save that for another day.

anyways, keep in mind abt the subposting, bc I need to provide context abt everything first.

so this stemmed from a convo abt them saying they kinned deadpool blah blah, and zai (owner of the server ) said that they were not like deadpool bc luma was empathetic or something like that.

LINK TO SCREENSHOTS

now, idk how some people will interpret lumas last message, but me and zai interpreted it as; "oh i got gossip and tea, but it might too be triggering for it to be on main chat". if that made sense in a way?

so, when we go into vents, we were dabsmacked in the face with vents. you can call us insesntive for replying the way we did, but I have vents muted for a reason. but anyways, luma had a breakdown(?) and blamed us for a lot of their problems when we didn't respond in the way they wanted us to.

LINK TO SCREENSHOTS

after a while, the situation sort of.. escalated? luma was using a mutual of ours ( briar ) as a messenger to send zai things and vice versa. and a whole lot of stuff happened.

so here's a timeline of events to shorten what happened, and ill only be providing screenshots for the more important things that had happened;

-> luma vent -> breakdown -> leaves server -> messenger bri -> zai confronts them on why they left -> luma rejoins -> luma apologizes -> luma leaves again -> luma takes it out on bri -> zai confronts again -> they duke it out -> luma runs away from their problems and the argument -> unmutuals us/drops us ( left everyone as followers ) -> random subposting abt us on @/lumxiaos

long story;

after luma had their breakdown, they went to briar bc they thought that me and zai blocked them. we didn't block them though, and js assumed that luma was just afraid to dm us- causing zai to go confront them instead. after they had talked it out, zai re-invited luma to the server, to which they apologized for;

LINK TO SCREENSHOTS

after their apology, most of us thought that this would have died down and we'd go back to normal, but this didn't last as long as I hoped.

when luma sent a picture of scar from wuwa, me and briar started jokingly dogshitting on his appearance ( if you've been on my blog long enough, you'd know that I'm already a character slander, so this is normal behavior for me ). instead actively telling us their boundaries, luma slowly died down in the server until they left again out of anger- causing us to be confused again.

this is when briar messaged luma and was being the brunt of their anger/manipulation + also blaming us for relapsing(?).... anyways, zai confronts luma again, and it's just luma not being able to handle being told upfront, that they're the problem.

when it came to the misgendering, I can 100% take full accountability and say that I had forgotten that luma was nb and goes by they/them prns. but with lack of communication/boundary enforcement on their end, I didn't know when I was accidentally misgendering them or crossing their boundaries.

the only boundary luma had set, was when they dmed zai on discord about a server member being 32, and how uncomfortable they felt being in a place with someone so much older ( luma's 17; going on 18 for context ).

here are screenshots of what went down within the span time of like a few hours;

LINK TO SCREENSHOTS

LINK TO OTHER SS

LINK TO SCREENSHOTS OF LUMA BEING UPSET OVER SCAR + BRI DROPPING LUMA

+ also blaming us for a bunch of other things that has never happened

don't get me wrong, luma is completely valid in the way they feel. one of the problems that lie in this though is how they've never once came to us ( me or zai ) to set things straight ( enforce boundaries ), but rather went to briar to burden them with their vents/lashing out.

here's screenshots of zai confronting luma;

LINK TO ZAI AND LUMAS FIRST CONFRONTATION

LINK TO ZAI AND LUMAS SECOND CONFRONTATION

after all of this, luma proceeded to subpost abt us on their personal/vent blog

LINK TO SCREENSHOTS OF LUMAS SUBPOSTING

here's also stuff that me and zai noted from briar abt what luma did to her/with her on vc ( ty zai for taking note of everything ) ;

regular conversation abt genshin -> lumas random confession about a weed addiction and has been smoking weed since 15 (??)

anytime someone jokingly picked on them, they'd bring it up somewhere and call themselves unstable and say they'd relapse

anytime briar tried to leave any situation they'd complain about briar being mean and they'd force her to pick sides

every single day luma would have a problem and call up briar to vent to her, causing constant burdens to pile on briar

they'd pressure briar into telling them what was in the nsfw chat???? despite not being allowed access??? ( they ARE a minor; age 17 )

calling briar on vc, saying that she ( briar ) would burdened everyone by her saying parents were poor?? basically telling briar she can't talk about her own experiences ( but only luma can for some reason..? weird of them to imply but ok ).

blaming whole conversation ( about trying to help luma ) about briar and guilt tripping her saying "I'm gonna kill myself and its your guys' fault"

Luma is a subconsciously manipulative person, with hypocritical tendencies and a constant negative aura around them that ends up dragging everyone else down into a horrid mental state with them. They are not someone who knows how to communicate or enforce boundaries, yet will demand that those same unknown boundaries are respected, with a childish response whenever we cannot read their mind to know what they are. Majority of these dramas that have happened with their being the cause could've all bean easily avoided with some simple responsibility and change. They have shown an inibility to grow or mature as a person - it is a repeat offense. With any amount of help we offered for any amount of time, they would acknowledge and not show any signs of improvement in any of their actions. You reap what you sow.

Again I reiterate that YOU ARE NOT TO SEND HATE, ANONS, OR NASTY MESSAGES OF ANY KIND. Change can only come from the person who's responsible for their own actions, and it has been proven many times now Luma does not accept any kind of help, no matter if they beg for it. The purpose of this post is to hold Luma accountable for their actions and leave a record of what they have done, so they can't twist the narrative to shift blame. This is not a call to mass block or report them, or to pick sides, or to bully anyone involved. We take full responsibility on our part for any negative actions we have caused.

[cyborgartalchemist2]

Imagine being so fucking aggressive about a ship you make jokes about Magneto and that very groomer scene from X-Men 97 that just... excuse the behavior? Because that doesn't sound very progressive in my opinion. Like yeah... rape culture in relationships just permeats fucking shipping but lets do nothing to argue against it. Lets make jokes that perpetuate the behavior and excuse men taking advantage of women.

To me having Magneto take advantage of a much younger mutant under his tutelage because she's desperate for physical connection and he's the only one she can touch is meant to showcase A) how Gambit contrasts Magneto and B) remind us that Magneto is never above using mutants for his own gains.

If this were reality most people would be calling Magneto a groomer and worse. We know Rogue was still a teen when Mystique took her in. We know that she's been an X-man for a few years. So Magneto was patient enough to wait until she turned 18?

Historically he hasn't done well with his love life. Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver's mom left him without telling him he fathered children because she was scared of him! (I'm only going on TAS and 97 here since this is an adaptation.) So where in the high heavens does everyome think he would be good for Rogue?

I don't care about the 'better than Remy' arguments because that's not the point! The point of who you ship Rogue with should be about if it's a relationship that is good for her! Is she their equal? Does she get treated with respect? Magneto looked at the Genosha council and without asking Rogue said "I'll lead but only if this woman I am trying to get back is my queen". LIKE DOES THAT EVEN SOUND MATURE? Magneto shows up, sees Gambit and Rogue being even mildly affectionate and starts pulling asshole moves on Rogue. And the narrative did nothing to make Rogue stand up for herself (which she would have) she should have told Erik "I'm a big girl I can get my own sugar for my coffee." She is shown numerous times to remind everyone she is no one's 'territory'.

Also wish to address the fact that making Rogue x Magneto comes with a 'sex is the only thing that matters!' Flavor that is exactly what so many of us are tired of in shipping. When did shipping stop being about the drama of a couple fighting against a narrative that pushes them apart or about finding love in the most unconventional of places, like alien hunting? And become solely about how nasty they can fuck? Seriously?

AND it's so blandly hetero it's not even funny. Because honestly the ways in which a couple can experience pleasure that don't involve traditional p in v penetration is vast and wild and there are enough types of gear and costumes and the like to facilitate that between Rogue and Gambit. Because that's all the argument has to stand on, is which man can fulfill her sexual needs. WHICH SHE HERSELF REALIZED WASN'T ENOUGH. She kisses Erik and goes "nope they're ain't any sparks there. This isn't going to be fulfilling ever."

Not to mention the fact that I can't genuinely see Magneto offering to die for Rogue. Sorry that grandstanding in Genosha was not the same. It was barely a heroic move... he still didn't save the Morlocks he promised to protect... he still failed. He couldn't save Leech and he couldn't stop the Sentinel either. Because yeah Magneto attempted to save Rogue and Gambit, but he did nothing to save the Morlocks at his side and he also survived without taking out the giant killer robot... but Gambit? Gambit said fuck it, gonna take this motherfucker to hell with me. He stopped Rogue from facing the sentinel so he could. And he actually stopped it. All on his own. Because that's what an x-man would do. Sure Magneto protectdd two people but sacrificed the morlocks yet again...

AND ON THE SUBJECT OF ROGUE x GAMBIT

Has Gambit always been great with Rogue? No, but that was the 90s and now look at how he handles shit? Comics writing has grown. It was a lot more heternormative and still had lots of rape culture hold overs in it.

Look at the episode when Cody shows up. He uses Rogue's connection to him from the past and then puts her in a situation that almost takes away her humanity. Her powers, which was what lured her into this trap in the first place, saved her from a man taking advantage of her. And the one time Gambit (in TAS) takes advantage of her, Morph in her form, told him to come and get some from her first. (So while he should have paused and woke Rogue up before kissing her, he had what he thought was an invitation.)

Gambit takes Rogue's decision to rule Genosha with Magneto incredibly well. He doesn't get mad, he doesn't call Rogue names, he doesn't do anyhting to hurt Rogue the way she is hurting him. He accepts it like a gentleman. Unlike Magneto who pursued Rogue's affections in unhealthy ways.

So uh... yeah that's my fucking rant.

[beom-s-author]

🎀txt reactions-when they forget your birthday🎀

warnings: f-word, crying, loud voices,fluff,comforting

×Choi Soobin+

you were so tired with all works. The files you should set down, The essays you should read and write your thoughts and a lot of surveys you should handle with..You were almostly forgetting your birthday because you were busy also no one celebrated it. You were new in this country which you moved for your work and met with your bf Soobin. He was the sweetest. While driving to your house, You were thinking how will he surprise you. You know that he is busy with his own schedules but sometimes he can forget all of them for you and you think It should be one of the day he should celebrate and not forget. But it didn't work. When you went to home, Your house was cold and alone. You gulped and looked around. Your hope is still here and you were thinking that Soobin will come from the corner with birthday cake in his hands and he will smile at you with his biggest one. But he wasn't in the house. You searched all rooms but there is no evidence from him. You sighs and sits on your couch which is stained because of your cat's liquid food. You were looking at your hands and playing with your fingers. You heard a knock on the door and got up immediately. You opened the door and saw Soobin. He seems tired with his big hoodie and loose pants. You smiled at him. "You seem so tired,hun." You hugges his neck and he smiled. "Yes,I am. I came here,maybe we can cuddle or relax. I just want to be with you." Soobin stroked your hair and hugged you back. You sighed. He seems like forget your birthday. You and him sat on your couch and he holds your hands. You were looking at him with doe eyes and hoping that he will remember it.He looks at you back. "You seem like you want something, do you need anything?" He asked. You look at him and ask. "Did you forget?" He seems kinda curious about what did he forget. "What did I forget?" He asked. He started to think about the saten and he looks at you back. "Your birthday,right?" He asked. You nodded softly and crossed your arms and looked at him. He seems kinda sad to forget it. He looks at you and replies. "Sorry,sorry. Will you forgive me? We can plan the rest of the night. I will go and get some snacks and I will make us a blanket couch. Wait here!" He replied while getting up to grab his wallet and coat. You laughed at him and holded his hands. "It is fine. No one celebrated it anyway so Why don't we just lay down?" You asked. He sighs and nods. He holds your hands and pulls you in a hug. "I couldn't forget it..I was just too busy, please forgive me?" He replied. You nodded and kissed his cheek. He blushes slightly and holds you tightly.

×Choi Yeonjun+

You were out with your friends for celebrate your birthday. Everyone was so curious about your mysterious bf. You can't tell them that he is Yeonjun which is a TXT member and someone who doesn't have individual lifestyle. You just hide it from them. They were asking you about his surprise. You blushed slightly and couldn't say anything. He did nothing..Really nothing. Your day started really normal. He texted you as good morning and you called each other just for fun. You waited him to just happy birthday and nothing else. But he didn't. You waited his text in his work time but he didn't. You waited again and again, until you wore your clothes to go with your friends. They were telling and asking you about him. You were just telling them he is busy. You spend your night with them. Laughing at them wtih their jokes. You went to home back. Yeonjun was sitting in their shared flat. He waved at you. "Welcome honey. How was your day?" He asked to you. You sighs. "Fine,I guess." Yeonjun find out that you are sad. "What's wrong bub?" As he asked, you came near of him. "I know, you are busy but..Did you really forget my birthday?" As you asked, his eyes got widen. He gulped. "So so so so sorry..I knew it but It just went away from my mind..Sorry." he pecks your cheeks and kisses you deeply. You forgot the topic already :)

×Choi Beomgyu×

It was night. You were staying in the hospital for the night shift. You were tired as hell because the patients and their families weird needs. You were running around the floors and grabbing necessary things for the doctors. You were running blood tests and injections. You were trying to eat something without making anyone call or disturb you in the injection room until a little boy knocked your door. His parents came near of you that he has an injection. You sighs and puts your sandwich down. As you injected, he started crying. You picked him up softly. Your forgot your anger suddenly and the little boy cradled to your lap. His parents take him and they go..You started reminding him all night and went home. It was the morning when you wake up with the door sound. As you got up and reached the door, It was Beomgyu with boxes. You remind that it is your birthday and you smiled. You thought he buy you a present. As he saw you, He hugged you tightly. You kissed his cheeks and hugged back. "What is it?" You asked to him. He opens the box and it was trainers for himself. "Yeonjun hyung bought me these. Aren't they cute?" As he asked, you nodded. You sighed and sat back on the chair. You yawned softly. Your cat was purring around the room. Beomgyu pets it and he looked at you. He suddenly looked at the calendar and saw the pinning. His eyes got widen and he turned you. "I am so, freaking sorry honey. How dare I to forget it..I am a mess..Let's have a quick breakfast and I will take you to the restuorant in the night. We will visit the mall too. I will buy supplements you want for your hair too but just forgive your babe." He pouts. You chuckled and hugged him. How can you be angry towards him?

×Kang Taehyun×

It was the weekend which is going to be spented with Taehyun at the house. You planned everything, You washed your hair, wore makeup and chose a dress for the night even. But it ended up in a bad way. You and him were in the house. Taehyun was stressed about the works and he was trying to be calm. You were waiting for him to be calmer. He takes a deep breath and hugs you. You waited him to tell you something at least a happy birthday sentences. He didn't. You waited him all day and you just slept on the couch, watched an animation movie which ended up in a fooly way. You sighed when he crossed the line. He left you in your dorm , alone in your birthday. He just told you that he needs to be alone. You sighed and nodded. After an hour later, he ended up in your dorm again. He has a cake and a gift in his hands. He smiled at you and lifted you in his arms. " sorry about that. It just slipped from my mind but now we have enought time to celebrate." He kissed you deeply and made you forget about his angey side. You spent your night with him cuddling, whispering sweet songs and drinking Orange juice from the glasses which is has some doodles on it. He hugged you tightly and kissed you again in your livingroom while eating strawberries and holding his gift in your arms. A cat :)

×Kai Kamal Huening×

It was your first night in txt's dorm. The other guys are aware of your birthday and they were waiting for Hueningkai's surprise for you. They were expecting him to turn off the lights, brang a cake which is in penguen shape and a plushie as a gift for your collection. They expected him to clinged on you all night and pecked your cheeks. Singing you a birthday song with chaotic effects. But this isn't happening..You came their dorm with loose pants and a shirt (probably it is Hueningkai's shirt). You sat on the couch with Huening and started playing with Ps5. He was using all his efforts to beat you but ended uo with a lose. The all members are laughing at him. He gets up and goes to the kitchen. The all guys followed him and you were alone in the livingroom. They asked him where is the cake. Hueningkai looks at them. "A cake? For what?" They got surprised that he forgot your birthday. As he recognized, he started panicking. He got his coat and run to the outside to find a market which is selling a cake. You got confused while other members are trying to find candles and balloons. You realized that it is your forgetten birthday. You sighed and got up. The all lights turned off suddenly and the cake came to near of you. Hueningkai was smiling to you so you are. You hugged to him and he kissed you. The guys watched you behind and they were scared how will you guys be clingy rest of the night. Whatever, they were right.

[bunny584]

JUJUTSU KAISEN’S ANATOMY

Part II of this cute lil ask right here

A/N: Shit. You just graduated med school. And today…people expect you to…doctor? Mom come pick us up, we’re SCARED (real thought on my first day of residency).

S/N: Meet your first year surgical residency class. Undifferentiated little stem cells. The bottom of the surgical food chain. First shift last 36 hours and you work every second night until you drop. 

All you know is that you like to cut. Where/what/how that cutting comes will be decided later. Everyone has an idea of their subspecialty but…shit happens, preferences changes and sometimes the spleen just bleeds for no fucking reason at 4 am when you’ve gotten 30 minutes of sleep in the last 3 days and you have to—what? Sorry. Forgive me. 

Let’s get into it.

For the love of God, interns — pick up your pagers. 

SURGICAL INTERNS ON CALL

Dr. Yuji Itadori 

Specialty Interest: ORTHOPEDIC SURGERY 

Don’t tell Dr. Sukuna about this but who here is shocked. This sack of muscles THROWS SUVS AT HIS MORTAL ENEMIES ON A RANDOM TUESDAY NIGHT??? Please???? He also does shit like watch Wormo-Man parts I-V and this is peak orthopod behavior. Yuji definitely has contests with his patients on rounds who can crush the cranberry juice or protein shakes the fastest. Spoiler, he always lets the patient win.

Everyone thinks he’s just joking around but it’s his way of getting post op patients to get their nutrition in. He’s a very thoughtful doctor, even though people assume he’s no thoughts just vibes between his eyes. 

Dr. Megumi Fushiguro

Specialty Interest: HAND SURGERY (can be achieved via Ortho or plastics)

Hand surgeons are a different BREED. Do me a favor and google “hand anatomy.” Not only will you find like 400 bones, there are 7,000 tiny tendons, lumbricals, digital arteries, veins and nerves all packed into the little mitts we take for granted. And to add insult to injury — all of the muscles and tendons are in latin. Like whoever decided that please take your seat on this one way train to hell :)

Nevertheless, Dr. Geto spotted Dr. Fushiguro on day ONE of intern year. How meticulous and neat he is. How intelligent he is in the O.R. As an intern, Megumi broke the record for the fastest carpal tunnel release for residents (4 minutes, 35 seconds — not faster than mine though, 3 mins, 52 seconds over here big dawg). Suguru is Megumi’s mentor within the first week. Two peas in one moody brunette, pod. 

Dr. Nobara Kugisaki

Specialty Interest: TRAUMA SURGERY 

Nobara is 100% resistant to the Satoru Gojo, MD charm. Unlike the rest of the residents, she isn’t squeezing into Dr. Gojo’s trauma ORs just to graze his gloved hand with theirs. Or make eyes over the surgical masks. No, Nobara did her first cricothyrotomy and became HOOKED. The day she had to climb on the gurney to tie off a patient’s external jugulars because after coding and ROSC (return of spontaneous circulation) they were SPURTING out of the large pipes in their neck — she was sold. Trauma surgery through and through.

Real story btw. It was insane. Whirlwind of a day from the trauma bay to the OR to the ice cream we all scarfed down after because we won that day. And you don’t win every day. So the days you get to tell the Angel of Death to fuck off, you savor them. 

Dr. Maki Zenin 

Specialty Interest: VASCULAR SURGERY 

Little known fact about vascular surgeons is that they are gangster as fuck. Hear me out. They like the blood PAPER thin, right? Small, rusty pipes need to get fluid through, so thin the fluid out as much as possible. Meaning patients are on aspirin, lovenox, heparin, and every other anticoagulant known to man.

Everyone else with a working amygdala is scared to DEATH of these patients bleeding because you look at them sideways and suddenly hemorrhage everywhere. Not vascular surgeons and not Maki Zenin. “Aorta ruptured..? No prob, just sew it up with a couple stitches. What—like it’s hard?” - Every Vascular Surgeon ever. Maki just gives unhinged-unbothered-let-them-bleed energy to me. Plus vascular surgeons do all of the amputations. Maki is doing that with her cursed tools and scrubbing in with hand sanitizer only. Period.

Dr. Yuta Okkotsu

Specialty Interest: TRANSPLANT SURGERY 

The OG lover boy is NO different in this AU. He is sentimental. He cries with patients. Dr. Nanami met him during the first month of his residency and immediately took him under his wing. Yuta is always the last to leave the anatomy lab, making sure to stitch the donors completely closed — even though no one will see. When asked why he spends hours post call doing it, he says: “Because they deserve respect until the very end.” Nanami And Yuta are a perfect match. After Yuta’s first liver transplant, Nanami takes him to the same hill he lays on by the airport. They both say goodbye to the donor together. 

Dr. Toge Inumaki

Specialty Interest: ….he switched to PSYCHIATRY, still tight with the surgical interns though.

Hello, please this is also obvious. Inumaki is the only one in the group who can listen intently for hours without interruptions lmao. He saw that aggressive surgery shit and said absolutely not I’ll take my talents ELSEWHERE 😂

And you know, funnily enough, a good majority of surgeons ALSO were torn between picking surg vs psychiatry. My mentor told me that its because its as invasive, just without the scalpel. The rest of us meatheads just like the scalpel a little too much to put it down. 

Panda:

Specialty Interest: N/A

He is the hospital emotional support animal. 

E/N: Alright interns. Do your best not to kill anyone. And if your chief resident (me) is sleeping, don’t page me. And if you do page me the patient better be knocking on heaven’s gates. And if they are knocking on heaven’s gates, they better not have crossed into the bright light before I get there. 

Real E/N: Kidding. I am so full of shit lol. I am the senior that brings my juniors cafecitos and treats and takes their pager to let them get some well deserved rest. 

Don’t be late to your OR cases, Shoo!

[loustat-0]

I was wondering, in your opinion is the fact that Louis is more to be feared than Armand a very Daniel specific situation? Because sure Louis seems to have some rage inside of him but next to Armand, in terms of power he does not appear that powerful for now? So is this line because Daniel must fear more Louis because he would kill him while Armand would never because of personal history? Or is "the other one" even Louis btw? Sorry if I am not very understable.

No I understood you perfectly .

Honestly I can't answer this because I really haven't thought about this very well . But I can say what I just thought of when I heard it . I didn't really think deeply about it because I let the tale seduce me in some stuff that isn't really a big matter to me . For example this one unlike it got everyone curious hasn't got me curious 😅

So my guess is Louis can be more dangerous than Armand because unlike San Francisco that Louis saved Daniel from Armand killing him but keep that in mind that Louis also attacked him violently and without thinking when he was triggered by Daniel , in Dubai Louis also has tried to hurt Daniel when Daniel made Louis angry and pissed too . But even though that was about getting Louis angry it was majorly about making Louis confront his purposeful editing of his story . For example about Claudia's r*per . ARMAND Literally had to come in to make Louis control himself . Because he was hurting sick Daniel .

Another example is in 2x2 when Daniel mocked Lestat's letter and called Armand and Louis's relationship as a rebound Louis lost it again and attacked his memories too and made him shake again . And it was ARMAND AGAIN who tried to stop Louis from hurting Daniel more . The next day he literally apologized for Louis's outburst and what he did to Daniel on Louis's behalf . And so far we haven't seen Armand do anything to Daniel other than asking Louis to make him leave Dubai in 2x1 . Armand for some reason hasn't hurt Daniel physically or emotionally or uses his powers on Daniel in Dubai so it seems like Armand is definitely not the dangerous one in that penthouse .

But Louis will act out violently he will go for your throat without any mercy if you trigger him or if he finds out the truth about something . Louis is emotionally absolutely unstable and is like an explosive bomb . And he has no problem hurting Daniel again . Even now that he has helped him remember something about the 70s but Louis will still hurt Daniel if he gets triggered about whatever he thinks he's been lied to about . And that's why I think Louis is the one who Daniel should be afraid of .

[canirove]

Friends, lovers… and an orange | Chapter 17

Previous chapter | Next chapter (coming out on Friday)

Masterlist

"Surprise!"

"Oh my god!" Adele screamed before jumping into Mason's arms. 

"Addie, you knew about the party. If you wanted me to hug you, you just had to ask" he smirked.

"Shut up" she replied, hitting him in the chest.

"Happy birthday, Adele. And sorry about scaring you" her dad chuckled.

"Thank you. And don't worry, it's my fault" she said, giving him a hug.

"Happy birthday, old hag!"

"Love you too, Luca" she said, rolling her eyes.

After getting hugs from Mason's parents and Alex, only Elizabeth was left, an awkward silence in the room. 

"Oh, come here" she said, opening her arms and walking to where Adele was standing. "I'm so sorry about earlier."

"It's ok" she said, hugging her back.

"No, it isn't. But I saw those photos and you and Mason together being so cute, that I thought…"

"It's ok, mum."

"Aren't you angry with me, then?" Elizabeth asked, moving to look at her daughter.

"I am not, no. I can't be angry with my best friend on my birthday" she smiled.

"Oi!" someone said behind them.

"Why did that sound like…"

"I thought I was your best friend!" Jourdan said, walking into the living room.

"And I thought I had told you to stay there until we were ready!" Luca replied, rolling his eyes.

"What are you doing here?" Adele asked.

"I am your birthday surprise" she smiled.

"You… what?"

"Him" Jourdan winked before nodding towards Mason.

"You…" 

"Happy birthday, Addie" he said, giving her her favourite smile: the one that was all dimples.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"May I have your attention, please?" Luca said while hitting his glass with his fork and standing up.

"Be careful, those aren't ours" Elizabeth told him.

"Sorry, mum" he smiled. "Anyway, I wanted to do a toast in honour of my dear sister Adele. May we annoy each other for many years. I love you."

"Aww, I love you too" she smiled.

"To Adele!" Luca said.

"To Adele" everyone repeated, raising their glasses.

"I would also like to say something if I'm allowed to" Mason said, looking at Adele.

"Of course" she smiled. 

"Ok, so… umm… I'm a bit nervous" he chuckled as he stood up.

"C'mon, you can do it" Adele said, holding his hand. She knew what he was going to say, they had talked about it on the beach. 

"Ok" he said, taking a deep breath. "Adele and I are together. But like for real now, we aren't faking it. We love each other and we are together as boyfriend and girlfriend. Real boyfriend and girlfriend. Because we are in love and…"

"We get it, Mase" Luca laughed.

"Yes, ok. Well… umm…"

"I think we should do a toast" Jourdan said, also standing up. "To Adele and Mason finally being together."

"I'll drink to that" Luca said. "I was tired of waiting, I thought you were going to make it official the day of the wedding."

"What?" Adele laughed.

"We all knew you were together. Or at least in love. You two were the only ones who couldn't seeing it."

"More like just Adele" Mason chuckled.

"Hey!" she replied, hitting his arm.

"It's the truth and you know it" he smiled.

"Whatever."

"Can we toast now?" Jourdan said, still standing.

"Yes, let's toast" Elizabeth said, getting up from her seat. "To Mason and Adele finally being together. May happiness follow them wherever they go."

"Thank you, mum" Adele smiled.

"To Mason and Adele" Toni said, also getting up.

"To Mason and Adele" everyone else repeated before raising their glasses and drinking.

"I think now we deserve a kiss from the couple, don't we?" Luca said with a mischievous smile.

"This is not a wedding banquet, Luca" Adele said.

"Oh, c'mon. Don't be a party pooper. Kiss, kiss, kiss!"

"I hate it when you do that."

"Kiss, kiss, kiss!" he insisted, Jourdan and Alex joining him.

"Ok, fine! But just one" Adele said.

"We'll leave the rest for when we are alone" Mason laughed, putting down his glass before cupping Adele's face and kissing her, everyone cheering. "I love you, Addie" he whispered against her lips.

"I love you too, Mase" she giggled before kissing him again, Luca in the back now complaining about that being two kisses.

But neither Adele or Mason cared. And they didn't care either when they kissed again after she blew out the candles of her cake. Or when they went to the garden and kissed while watching the fireworks Luca and Alex had gotten for her. 

The only thing they cared about was that, like everyone kept telling them, they were finally together. For real.

[ryuichirou]

Replies

But also some news!

First of all, I wanted to remind you that my pricelist will be updated by the end of the week, so please feel free to message me if you want to take a slot to commission me with my current prices!

Second of all, we got our twitter account back! We ended up deleting that one post that twitter didn’t like (yes, the one that doesn’t have anything explicit or any nudity on it), which obviously sucks, but at least now we can jump back to posting more or less regularly.

And now that this situation is over, I can say about the thing that honestly tickled me: the last person who wrote a callout post on me right before our acc got locked (=the person who very likely caused the massreporting in the first place) got accused of grooming a 13 y.o. and had their account terminated the very next day. What a great illustration of how the fandom climate works, right? Hilarious.

Alright, replies replies. Some about Fellow and Gidel, some about Rook, Idia, a little bit of Lilia and some miscellaneous asks.

Anonymous asked:

wait, Fellow is it a good idea for Gidel to write?? Isn't he illiterate?? (I might be wrong on the writing part, but I'm pretty sure Gidel is said to be unable to speak because he didn't get an education :(, r.i.p to the poor boy)

But look at it, Anon! He clearly writes, and like a typical doctor as well! A highly educated man!

(Yeah, Gidel doesn’t know how to write lol I am not sure if Fellow is super literate either… just like the characters they are inspired by lol)

Anonymous asked:

I want to bite Idia’s thighs but I also want to nibble Lilia’s legs courtesy of your pic of him in those delicious Playful Land tights 😩

(this is about a sketch from ko-fi)

They really are nibbleable… nibbable… one would want to nib on them. And Lilia knows that :(

Thank you <3

irregardlessly-tish asked:

Since you started posting Fellow art I said to myself "I guess I'm watching that event now so I can look at the art and think yeah, he would totally get gang banged by them" lol

Tish! You’re great as always lol I hope you enjoy it as much as we did.

Fellow is so breedable it’s insane. I can’t help it.

unofficialwheatdog asked:

I'm gonna snatch Fellow away from everyone

Like that my husband, he fluffiness mine and mine alone

Mwah mwah to Fellow I wove him and the way you draw him

he's too good for them but ruined enough for me(lol me in my possessive era)

Omg real possessive era lol I get it, he really is fluffy to the point of leaving one speechless. But please understand, these boys can’t hold back at all… :( Be kinder them, they can’t help it!

I’m glad you love how I draw him <3

Anonymous asked:

Curious, u do non con/ rape art?

Pls tag if yes, I wanna see

I do, but I also don’t remember any recent noncon piece to tag anything lol I am definitely not opposed to it, and a lot of our nsfw pieces have at least dub-con vibes. I guess that one general!Lilia/Idia piece comes to mind first! And octopus!Azul/Idia that I drew for the same zine…

Maybe it would be easier to look through my pixiv logs; all the nsfw pieces are usually closer to the end of the log.

Anonymous asked:

You know I never had interest in drawing nsfw, I started a fanart blog with the intent of just making cute/cool sfw pieces maybe some ship stuff. However I am sick and tired of watching the twst fandom affect the mental health of my friends. And I know at least one of my ships will be threatened even if they just hold hands.

So here’s my plan: if I start receiving hate I will make an announcement: if I reach a particular milestone of hate I will learn to draw nsfw. I will make them kiss harder. Harass me and I will become worse.

Fr tho I want to be the brave idiot in the hope that others won’t feel alone.

Sorry for the late reply! Anon, you are already brave lol I like your plan. Become worse to spite them! And to support everyone who is harassed. And to have fun of course.

I wish you and your friends and anyone else didn’t have to worry about being harassed because of your ships. So please, take care of yourself, but also? Fuck them; draw and post whatever you want to make yourself and your friends happier and enjoy the fandom experience that you and your friends create.

Anonymous asked:

"something's missing..." might be your shirt rook, idk tho 🤔

(this is about this drawing)

Oh no, he forgot his shirt again. And no one at Savanaclaw is brave enough to tell him.

Anonymous asked:

 I remember that Savannaclaw Rook only cut his hair with a knife, soooo, yeah. How do you think first year Rook would respond to first year Idia and vice versa?

Honestly it looks like it lol He and Lilia have something in common…

We love first year Rook with first year Idia so much, Anon, you have no idea! And Rook/Idia in general, this is one of the things that I really want to draw properly at least once. For now we only have sketches…

But to answer your question! I like to think that Rook was very intrigued by Idia right away; of course Idia isn’t a beastman, but he is not only super bright and shiny-looking (unusual! Interesting!), but also is a very rare pokemon to see. It’s very easy to picture Rook getting excited and charmed by him, maybe he even had a period of a little obsession~ But of course none of this is in any way returned by Idia; to him being suddenly surrounded by so many loud and annoying people his age is already stressful enough, but Rook is somehow worse than all of them combined. He hates everyone from Savanaclaw, but they’re usually just rude jerks, but Rook? If only he was a rude jerk…

Anonymous asked:

Chen’ya, are you flashing people on purpose? What are you gonna do if someone likes it?

(related to this post)

Knowing Che’nya, he’ll probably disappear lol Never let them guess your next move. They liked it? Too bad. They didn’t like it? Oh too bad… >:3

Sometimes he is in a flirty mood though~

Anonymous asked:

I’m surprised Lilia doesn’t also spank Idia to punish him

He really should, and his spanks wouldn’t be as murderous as Azul’s! Idia is going to receive punishment AND survive!

I can picture Lilia stopping mid-spank with the realisation though: oh right, this isn’t his kid, this is Idia…

Anonymous asked:

(tw: self-harm)

this might be a bit dark but i’m curious: do you think idia self-harms? every now and then, i see ppl draw him with SH scars. i’ve never been able to decide if it feels like him or not. punishing himself, hating himself, wanting to control this one aspect of his life bc he can’t control anything else sound like idia, but also, being too resigned, lazy, or phobic of pain also sound like idia… little nutjob he is 😒 thoughts?

This is such a good question, Anon. It’s honestly still kind of easy to imagine him doing that. He punishes himself constantly, and while I don’t think this is necessarily about control, this absolutely could be about wanting to make himself feel even worse or to distract himself from the other kind of deep pain he’s feeling. Since we’re talking about a character here, as an artist I can also add that seeing him this way could be aesthetically pleasing, there are some very good artworks with this theme.

That being said, we usually tend to think that Idia wouldn’t do that. I agree that Idia being phobic of pain sounds very like him, but also? He is very detached from the physical side of things in general, I think. He would rather torment himself mentally.

Another reason for Idia and selfharm not really working in our heads is that I don’t think Ortho would let him. He is very sensitive to changes in his health condition after all.

[schelamski]

Nishinoya Yu in "On and about with the hq-boys"🛫

-a series of airport drabbles

Previous: Tendo Satori “Look what I made for you! Do you like it?”

Next: Iwaizumi Hajime "I´m not gonna get sick, just let me hold you!"

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Your cuteness is making everyone stare. Stop it.”

“ROOOOOLING Y/NNNN THUNDERRRR”

You were about to kiss the shiny ground of the airport floor in the arrivals hall, when you were flipped over and landed on your boyfriends chest.

“Yuuu, you´ve arrived!” you squeal while trying to get up on your arms, so you can take a proper look at your boyfriends face. “I´ve missed you so much!”

There is a gleam in his eyes, as he smiles at you “You won´t believe me how much I’ve missed you as well! Also, I planned on surprising you with this but I can´t keep it to myself any longer, there’s something I really want to tell you”

With your left brow going up, you ask “Well, what is it?” and you only have to wait a few seconds, before he responds.

“While I loved Traveling, I also missed you, I know we´ve talked on the phone a lot and stuff, but it just isn’t the same as seeing you and having you in my arms. This is why I´ve decided to accept the job offer I got a few weeks back. I`m sorry I haven´t told you yet but I wasn’t sure what to do at first.”

“Wait, you´re getting a job here because you missed me? Yu, while it’s the cutest thing anyone has ever done for me, I know how much you love traveling! Maybe you should continue doing that but with more visits in Japan, but I don´t want to be the reason holding you back from having fun. I know how important this is for you!”

“Oh I didn´t tell you about my job yet, I´m gonna work for a travel agency, this way I can travel up to two weeks a month and spend the rest of the time in Japan with you!”

“Are you serious?” all the excitement is causing your voice to climb up a few octaves.

“Yes I am!” your boyfriend answers with his megawatt smile. “Your cuteness is making everyone stare. Stop it, or we have to get up!”

With this you finally drag your eyes away from your boyfriends face, only to notice the other people in the arrivals hall starring at you.

“Sorry, it´s just that I´m so excited you´re finally back and here to stay!”

“I know, and I´m sorry it took me so long, but lets go home, I want to show you some cool shots I took!”

And with that you got up and left the warm spot on the airport floor to turn cool again.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[3v3ry0n3z-fav3-al13n-x3]

Addressing my (already deleted) posts from recent weeks. + Other stuff

I know I keep apologizing for one thing or another, but recently I've made multiple posts that have made lot of my followers and just people who have stumbled upon them in general extremely concerned for me and people around me, and that was for a good reason. And for that I want to apologize.

I've made multiple posts talking about my thoughts and desires to physically harm and even take away lives from my classmates and the students in my school in general. I want to say that I haven't done anything nor had the actual courage to do anything like that, neither to anyone around me or myself, and that those words only came from the bottling up rage and hate I've had for years.

I've been verbally and sometimes even physically bullied pretty much since I started 1st grade of school, and it only got worse and worse each year, especially after I came out as a trans guy and got into the whole scene, emo and alternative fashion in general at around 8-9th grade. It got so bad to the point where I changed schools.

After I transitioned to the new school, it actually felt much better and more pleasant there than my old school, that was so in the beginning at least. After some time I started getting bullied again, some kids even started insulting me as Satan which didn't even happen in my old school, and even when I tried dressing more "basic" the bullying didn't stop. Not only that but my class started bothering me too. They started asking me icky and uncomfortable questions about my identity, they kept making homophobic, sexist, racist etc "jokes", one of them turned out to be a literal neo-nazi, I couldn't say a word without one of the guys making a dumb comment towards me or mocking me, and no one seemed to take me actually seriously when I was upset.

I noticed that it was starting to get worse on my new school than in my old school, because at least I felt safe in my old class, which was no longer the case in my new one.

That's when I sort of snapped, and all that bottled up rage and hate spilled out into these posts. I've felt nothing but rage these last weeks

I deleted those posts out of shame. I'm now aware I shouldn't have made these posts public, or even had those violent thoughts in the first place. I am sorry to everyone I have alarmed and concerned. Like I said, I haven't acted upon these thoughts and I never will, no one was harmed in any way.

Thankfully I've had a chance to calm down and relax, since I've gotten a whole week off school after talking to a teacher about everything that's been happening. I can finally think straight and I'm so relieved.

I'm actually done with all of our final exams and I'll be finally graduating this Friday! I honestly can't wait. After 10 years of pure hell that's been only getting worse each year, I'll hopefully be finally able to catch a break I desperately need.

After the graduation party I'll most likely reblog this with an update post, saying how the party went and all that.. and I'll also talk about my exciting plans after graduation! :3

I definitely won't miss my school years after graduating.

[starhvney]

𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐉𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝟑 | 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟔: 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄

𝐂𝐖: blackmailing? kinda, no yeah blackmailing, gene smokes, allusions to reader being paranoid

𝐀/𝐍: so sorry for the long wait on this next chapter, writers block will kill you. i edited but am posting this at 1 am so if there's any typos pls let me know so i can cry about it thanks

𝐖𝐂: 4,900 +

𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 ☆ 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓 | 𝐀𝐎𝟑 | 𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐒

a week passed, then another, then another. it was now officially well into autumn and you had yet to be confronted by ivy again, or bothered by any other student for that matter. 

“an off-season soccer tournament? during school?”

“yeah,” laurance grins, dressed in his soccer uniform and some beat-up sneakers as he walks alongside you and aphmau. “don’t be too sad without me in our classes.”

a playful scoff leaves your lips as you roll your eyes at him, placing a hand over your chest.

“i’m heartbroken, devastated even. however will i survive without you, laurance?”

amused snickers leave his mouth, face scrunching as he covers his face before comically recomposing himself, imitating your dramatic pose. 

“i know, please forgive me. i’ll come back for you, my darling!”

“wait, what other schools are coming?” aphmau questions, brushing past both of your bantering. “enough for you to be out the whole school day?”

he nods, fluffing his hair with his fingers and sighing.

“yeah, nahakra high and… o’khasis prep is coming.” he groans under his breath, shoulders dropping as he shakes his head in disappointment. “that game is gonna be a total shi—“

he clears his throat.

“—i mean, it’ll be… a humbling experience. they’re hard to beat anyways, but our team right now is not doing so well.”

aphmau hums thoughtfully. “well, good luck? i wish i could come watch and cheer everyone on.”

laurance suddenly perks up, taking long steps forward and turning around. there’s a pep in his step as he walks backward, grinning at the two of you. 

“during free period and athletics i think you’re allowed to come watch if your teacher lets you. you should ask.”

“oh? guess we’ll finally get to see how you became the captain your sophomore year.”

he shrugs, lips curling up smugly as he tilts his head back.

“you’ll be sooo impressed.” he gloats, tone humorous.

“uh-huh…”

his eyes focus back on you, eyes glinting in mischief. 

“if you come to watch me, i’m gonna call you out on the field to play on the team.”

“huh?” you raise an eyebrow. “no way, then your team would for sure lose.”

“nah, i bet you’re secretly a pro.”

“i’m not, but aphmau is pretty good.”

the girl looks up, shaking her head. “what? i’m okay at it, but…”

“garroth told me you totally clocked zane in the face when your families went to the park a couple weeks ago.” laurance snickers. “wish i could’ve seen that.”

“rude!” aphmau scolds lightheartedly. “i felt really bad about that!”

“oh, whatever. that little cyclops deserves it.” he rolls his eyes.

“laurance!”

☆

now that you didn’t have ivy breathing down your neck, you felt… really happy going to school. you grew closer with the volleyball team at practice every day, as well as lucinda and a few of the other girls you’d run into in your classes. you ended up seeing that meif’wa girl again too, and the little freshman was sickeningly adorable.

you also met jeffory, and while you felt for poor travis and his one-sided crush on the volleyball captain, you couldn’t blame katelyn for her choice of boyfriend. he had sat with katelyn a few times at lunch, and you’d see him coming in to help with the girls’ after-school practice as you were leaving for the day. you’d yet to find a flaw in him, unless being much too kind-hearted could be a flaw.

speaking of travis, you’d finally met his friend dante that he and aphmau had mentioned a few times. he wasn’t as elusive and mysterious as he had been when he was just a name floating in your brain, and was instead… quite the dork who was trying way too hard to be a ladies man. he was pretty funny, though, so you couldn’t even be mad at his shitty pick up lines and awful attempts at winking. 

although, despite all these new friends and feeling like a normal high school kid again, you still felt on edge. like you were only in the calm eye of the storm before getting your feet swept out from under you by the hurricane.

that hurricane really was imminent, and it came to you in the form of the tall senior you crashed into as you rushed to your next class, praying you wouldn’t be any later than you already were. the boy is much taller than you, and his lean muscles and firm frame didn’t provide a very comfortable cushion for you to run into. stumbling back with a surprised noise, you immediately go to apologize before even looking up. 

“i’m so—“ you start, stumbling on your words as your eyes land on sharp deep blue. “—um… so sorry.”

unruly black hair hangs over gene’s dark lashes as he looks down at you, eyes narrowing and canines peeking out in a cat-like grin. he looks like he had just caught your little mouse tail underneath his sharp claws, and you know that the hurricane’s winds have now swept you back up in the storm.

his tie is loose, top buttons of his uniform shirt undone, sleeves messily rolled up to his elbows. how has he not gotten dress coded for this? scratch that. maybe he did, and he just doesn’t care. 

suddenly he shifts his face from amusement to a rather sarcastic-looking pout, his performance not very convincing with the smug look still shining in his eyes. you’re sure that those upturned, almond-shaped eyes and the dark circles underneath them couldn’t appear innocent even if they tried.

“you know it’s rude to run into people like that, i could’ve gotten hurt.”

you can’t help the unimpressed pinch of your eyebrows at his words, especially as you crane your neck to look up at the boy who nearly knocked you over despite your momentum.

“i didn’t mean to.” your words are more clipped than you mean for them to be, your alarm overpowering the control over your voice.

“running in the halls is against the rules, you know.” he clicks his tongue, shaking his head as you begin to try and walk around him. “but you’d never break the rules, right?”

you pause at the strange inflection in his voice with his last sentence, his words loaded with a different motive. turning around, you see a flash of satisfaction across his face, and you feel like a rabbit just caught in a hunter’s snare. his hand reaches into his pocket, pulling out his phone.

“…what?”

long legs stride forward, his torso hunching over as he leans towards you, facing his screen around for you to see. the picture very clearly shows you on top of ivy, hair wild as you pin her down, fist pummeling into her face.

you remember now, seeing him at the end of the hall as you stood up, curiously staring at you. you didn’t remember seeing a phone in his hand, but that must’ve been why he was there.

“i gotta say, you did an impressive number on her. i swear i thought she fucked up your face a little too, but you came back the next day all badass like nothing happened.”

“what do you want?”

“woah,” he grins, holding his hands up in defense. “no need to get aggressive. i just thought you might need some persuasion. to hang out with me and my friends today.”

“…you’re blackmailing me… to be your friend.”

he snickers, sliding his finger across his phone screen to show more pictures. others clearly show ivy being in the fault. one showing her fingers yanking back on aphmau’s ponytail as you two try to walk away, another of you pulling aphmau behind you defensively, and another of her ripping her nails into your hair and face.

“i don’t know if i’d like to call it blackmailing. after all, i could bend this situation any way i want. really, it just depends on if you’d give me a chance. i promise, i’m really not as bad as i seem.”

at first you say nothing, eyebrows furrowed as you try to catch one of the many thoughts that frantically race around in your brain for a solution.

“i’m sure laurance said otherwise,” gene continues. “but we’re really not awful people. i mean, we’re not great either, but we’re cool. besides, i think you want someone like me on your team in case the mrs.ro’meave-wannabe in this picture here decides to yap about what happened.”

you stare at the screen, heart racing. not only were you at risk, but so was aphmau. had he caught her in the halls today, too?

“just give it a try, this is your choice here. why don’t you have lunch with us outside by the bleachers today so we can get to know each other? i know a secret of yours, so if we become friends i can share a secret of mine with you.”

“are you secretly normal?”

laughter bursts from his mouth, and for a moment he looks so genuinely entertained with your words that the youthfulness in his young age actually shines through his rugged appearance. you’re not sure if you maybe secretly pissed him off or if he strangely liked the attitude you were giving him, so you find yourself standing there awkwardly as he gathers himself.

“no, not really.” he begins to walk away from you while shaking his head, more chuckles leaving his throat as he slides his phone back into his pocket and makes his way down the hall. “see you at lunch.”

“…shit.”

☆

you ended up zoning out for the rest of your morning classes, your head empty despite its screams to try and find a solution to this. garroth and katelyn sent wary glances your way pretty much the whole day, but left it alone when you didn’t tell them for the third time when they asked. as the lunch bell rang, you made the excuse that you weren’t feeling the best, and was gonna see if the nurse would give you some medicine. they shrugged, giving you one last worried look before making their way to your friend group in the cafeteria.

you were pretty sure eating outside was against the school’s rules, so your heart was racing when you made your way to the doors that led to all of the athletic fields. after your stressful searching you soon find the three of them behind the bleachers near the soccer field.

gene and the angry-looking boy lounge on the ground, and the silver haired girl is perched on one of the thick beams holding the bleachers up. their attention is immediately set on you as they hear the ground crunch under your feet, all three eyes turned to where you awkwardly stand.

“there she is.” gene gets up and strides towards you, throwing an arm around your shoulder and guiding you closer to his group.

he smells like cigarettes covered by cologne and… paint? your eyes meet a can of spray paint in the other boy’s hand before trailing up to see an sk symbol freshly graffitied onto one of the thicker pillars.

on school property? guess laurance wasn’t exaggerating about them.

“since laurance so rudely interrupted our introduction to you last time, let’s reintroduce ourselves, yeah? i’m gene hyun,” he gestures to himself, deep voice almost lifting in a teasing way  before pointing at his friends. “that’s sasha morozov, and that’s zenix brandt. say hi, everyone.”

“you’re already breaking the rules, i like this new look on you.” sasha speaks up first, lips curling up in a smile that didn’t meet her eyes. “it would be nice to not be the only girl in this group.”

“can’t take the pressure, sasha?” zenix teases with a grin.

“or maybe i just can’t stand your face, zenix.”

“shut up, you love me.”

“i’m not that desperate.”

zenix scoffs. “me neither.”

“will you two quiet down? you’ll scare away our new friend here. hey, we introduced ourselves to you, so now it’s only polite for you to do the same.” gene nudges your shoulder once before letting you go.

you shortly give your name, chest brewing with an uncomfortable fog as you debate just running back inside. either way you risked your reputation, so your feet end up sticking to the ground as you swallow at the dry feeling in your throat. 

“you didn’t get anything to eat?” sasha questions, sleepy eyes pointedly looking down at your empty hands.

you look down at them as well, as if you hadn’t very purposefully walked past the cafeteria so no one knew you were off doing something you weren’t supposed to. you turn to glance back towards the school, before looking back to shrug at the girl.

“um… no, i forgot.”

dark silvery eyebrows turn up unimpressed before she plucks an apple off of her tray and tosses it to you. it catches you off guard and you clumsily catch it, fumbling and nearly dropping it down into the gravel.

“…thanks.”

she shrugs, humming a small “mhm” in return.

“…hm. you know, thinking about it, i dunno about that name.” gene suddenly says.

“right? i think we should give her a nickname instead.”

…what? your name wasn’t hard to pronounce in the slightest. before you can protest they’re already discussing the matter, tossing around name ideas they should give you like you were their new pet.

“what about dolly? since she’ll be running our errands for us like a little doll.”

“no, that’s too much. hm… she really did give a good beating on ivy despite being smaller than her, she’s got claws. how about kitty?”

“hm, a cute pet’s name, i like it.” sasha says, leg swinging off the side of where she sat.

“sasha and kitty for sk. i like it.” zenix adds, smile taunting as he looks at you.

your eyebrows pinch together, voice tight in irritation. “my name isn’t hard. i don’t need a nickname.”

gene’s eyebrow raises, challenging as he tilts his head.

“oh? sounds like the voice of someone who’s bold enough to let a picture of her fighting skills spread around.”

you scoff.

“listen. i hate to say it, kitty, but we have the upper hand here. we know it’s a bit devious, but we just want you to join us. you wouldn’t reject people wanting to be your friend, would you? especially ones that are also bad and break the rules.”

“i’m not going to—”

“no? well if that picture starts floating around who do you think will be your friend? us, or those goody two shoes friends you hang out with?”

“it’s none of their business what happened.” you snap, your brain scrambling for responses and too exhausted from the conversation to come up with any.

“then why don’t you say that to one of them?” gene hums in taunting amusement, head tilting as he looks at you through his lashes. “look behind you.”

your heart thuds and drops in your chest as you turn to see laurance, walking up to you in his soccer uniform, eyes narrowing at gene.

“is he bothering you?” he looks to you, brows furrowed.

your mouth drops open, trying to find something to say. his eyes seem to catch onto the draining of the blood from your face, his hand reaching out to grab your arm and pull you closer to his side.

“come on, you don’t need to be hanging out with—”

“no need to get so defensive, laurance. she wants to hang out with us.” gene cuts him off.

laurance freezes, eyes narrowing as he looks between you and the trio. “huh?”

gene stares at you, a toothy grin on his sharp features. 

“yeah,” you barely keep your voice steady as everyone focuses on you. “they’re not so bad once you get to know them.”

“…what?” laurance questions again, as if he thought he was hallucinating your words.

“yeah, she’s a real sweet girl. i really think i’m starting to see the error of my ways because of her.” gene takes a few steps closer. 

“really?” laurance asks, tone disbelieving.

“yeah! in fact she was just telling us to stop hanging back here and tagging up the place. i’ve never felt more moved.”

sasha and zenix nod along to his words, taking his lead as he looks to them. gene then waltzes right up to you, handing you a crumpled and folded slip of paper.

“here’s my number. text me later, i may need some help on my homework later. why don’t you go with laurance and we’ll catch you later.” he chuckles. “i can really picture our friendship blossoming.”

you give a half-hearted breath of a laugh in return, backing up with laurance. 

“okay, later.”

you feel sick. 

“are you okay?” laurance asks you once you’re out of earshot, leading you to the benches where the soccer team sits, the area pretty empty at the moment other than a few players practicing on the field.

“huh? oh yeah, i’m good.”

he stares at you, fingers tapping against the other. 

“…you sure? you know, those three are really good at acting and putting up a front. i really don’t think—”

“i know! trust me, it’s fine.”

his eyebrows furrow like he wants to say something but changes his mind, glancing back at the empty bleachers you were just behind. 

“you know eating outside during lunch is against the rules though, don’t you?”

you hold back a sigh. 

“…no, i didn’t know.”

laurance sighs looking at the apple still clutched in your hands. “…is that all you have for lunch?”

“oh, yeah. i forgot to… get some.”

he looks back up at you, before reaching into the soccer team’s snack box and handing you chips and a cheese stick.

“you don’t need to—”

“eat.” he raises a challenging eyebrow when you hesitate, lips curling up in appeasement when you start peeling open the cheese wrapper.

a call of your name falls from his lips, prompting you to look up into concerned eyes. 

“be careful.”

☆

as you change in the locker room out of your sweaty athletics uniform, your phone buzzes on the bench.

gene: meet me near the back of the school

you suppress a sigh, keeping your face neutral in front of your group of girl friends beside you.

you: ok

aphmau was able to catch you alone in the hallways at one point, round eyes wide with worry. apparently she had also been confronted by gene, but that guy from her werewolf class had supposedly interrupted their talk, cutting the confrontation short.

you weren’t as lucky, you groaned internally, as you swung open the back doors to the school, finding your way down the stairs and spotting gene by the fence line. he’s changed into casual clothes rather than his school uniform, you note, the dark and grungy clothes a polar difference from the neat school uniform he was forced to wear. 

“…what is it?”

“walk with me to my house.”

any anxiety you feel is overridden as you shoot a sharp glare up at him, nose wrinkling in disgust. “no. why would i do that? are you some kind of pervert?”

gene barks out a laugh, head throwing back as he holds up his arms defensively. “woah, put the claws away, kitty! it’s nothing like that. i won’t claim i’m a good guy, but i’m not a total piece of shit either. i need you to meet my mom.”

“…what.”

“i’ll explain on the walk there.” he nods at you to walk along with him, beginning to make his way down the street.

you hesitate, teeth gritting. before you realize it your feet have carried you after him, catching up to the long-legged boy.

“if you try anything i’ll beat the shit out of you. i don’t care if you’re bigger and taller, i’ll find a way.” you threaten, even if you weren’t confident in your own words. 

gene seems amused by your threat, something you’ve begun to notice as a trend. “unless you were forced to take taekwondo as a kid i’m afraid you have no chance. i can appreciate your attitude, though. having a backbone looks good on you.”

you release a quiet sigh, glancing over warily at his tall frame, noticing the bit of lean muscle that cling to him. despite being on the thinner side, you knew he was most definitely right.

“what is it you want me to do?”

he hums. “ah, right. so, my mom’s been on my ass lately about hanging out with sasha and zenix too much… saying they’re bad influences.”

he scoffs, hands tucked into the pockets of his black jacket.

“i just need you to pretend like you’re a new friend of mine, helping me out with school and otherwise being a good influence. should be easy enough for you, you don’t need to even act.”

you huff. “why choose me?”

“why not? besides you doing this for me… and the whole picture thing… you seem pretty cool. maybe i just want to be friends.”

you don’t say anything to that, instead sending him a wary glance as he barks out an amused laugh in return.

on the way the two of you make it to a gas station, where gene turns to walk towards its doors rather than continue down the sidewalk, much to your chagrin.

when your footsteps stop from behind him he turns, looking back at you with a sigh.

“listen, i don’t live in a shady part of town necessarily, but at least come inside with me.” he says, his usual teasing cadence gone as he waves you to him. 

though he wasn’t implying anything you feel a shiver run up your spine, fingers drifting to zianna’s locket as your eyes drift around at the cars passing by. you spot one, all black, parked near the side of the building.

black rims, black paint, blacked out lights, blacked out windows.

no, it’s nothing.

plenty of people have all black cars.

but…

quickly, you shuffle after gene, listening to the doorbell chime as you rush into the door after him.

he gives you a questioning look. the one time he wasn’t really trying to tease or scare you and you looked the most scared. he doesn’t question it though, instead telling you to look around while he buys what he needs.

you sigh, walking down the store aisles, eyes drifting to the different candies. turning to go to the next aisle you nearly bump into a taller man. he looked average. tanned skin and brown hair… but when you look into his eyes…

there’s a certain emptiness to the shade of brown you look into. something cruel and unforgiving—something you didn’t even see in gene’s. despite their warm color, they lacked any sense of care. it sends a cold chill starting from your cheeks and down your back, like someone had dumped ice water over your head.

“excuse me.” you mutter, shuffling past him and quickly putting yourself right next to where gene stood.

he glances at you from the corner of his eye, turning to see the man in the aisle. it’s a few seconds where he doesn’t say anything, face cold and unexpressive as he stares down the man until he leaves the store empty-handed.

the cashier, a rather unimpressed looking woman in her mid twenties glances over to you, raising a thinly plucked eyebrow.

“this your new girlfriend or something?” she glances down at your uniform, lip curling as she stares judgmentally back at gene. “...she looks a little young.”

“what? no, don’t be ridiculous,” gene scoffs. “just my little brothers friend. she’s coming home to study with him, so i’m walking her.”

the cashier deadpans at him. “yeah, okay. if you’re buying these for that lil’ girl i can’t sell em to you.”

“does it look like i’m buying these for her?” he gestures to you with one of his hands, giving an exasperated look to the cashier. “i mean she looks like she makes all a’s and never gets in trouble. c’mon.”

your eyebrows furrow. sell what to him?

the cashier looks you up and down for a moment before sighing, reaching down to the cabinets below her and pulling out a red cigarette case. your eyes widen and you look to gene, who only scoldingly stares you down from the corner of his eye.

“don’t say a thing and act natural.” is what you read from the dark blue irises challenging you to say something before he slides the money over the counter.

the cashier checks him out, narrowing her hooded green eyes at you once more with a concerned glint to them before humming. “you’re good to go. see you later.”

“thanks, donna.” gene casually replies, shoving the cigs in his pocket and ushering you out of the store.

you two walk in silence for a moment, making it a ways down the street before he reaches into the back of his jean pockets, pulling out one of the cigarettes and an old lighter. he lights one, huffing out the smoke and glancing down at you. 

“want one?”

you shake your head. he shrugs, stepping around you to walk on your other side when he sees you blink rapidly from the smoke blowing in your eyes.

“more for me.” he smirks, taking another deep inhale and looking away, slowly letting out his next breath.

“…how did you even buy those?” you ask, frowning as he flicks ash onto the concrete. 

he reaches into his pocket, pulling out his wallet and sliding out not his normal id, but instead another version that was flipped horizontally, the “under 21” warning nowhere to be seen.

“fake id.” he shrugs. “been using it since last year.”

it’s about ten more minutes before the roll of nicotine meets the end of its life. gene stops, crouching down for a second to snuff it out, before carelessly flicking it out onto the street.

“littering?” you narrow your eyes.

“what? it’ll decompose.”

“no, it won’t. not for a long time.”

“whatever.”

“littering is really lame.”

gene scoffs, rolling his eyes. “c’mon, kitty. loosen up. the world will keep spinning to see another day.”

you huff, running back to scoop up the discarded cigarette, still warm from both its flame and staying snugly between gene’s fingers. he stops to look at you, eyebrows raised and pinched, the corner of his mouth turned down in confused amusement. you walk back to him, flipping up the top of the box that still hung out of his jeans and shoving the cigarette down into the empty spot.

he raises a brow before his head tilts back in silent laughter, eyes closed.

“okay, fine, miss goody two shoes.” he laughs, before turning onto the pathway up to a dull blue house. “remember, just act like you’re a new friend of mine helping me out with my grades.”

he pulls out a key chain, unlocking the door and waving you inside. “hey mom, i have someone i want you to meet.”

the inside of the house… is not the environment that you’d expect for a guy like gene to live in. it was perfectly clean, the furniture neat and the fresh scent of lemons and lavender clinging to the air.

an older woman with a taller stature than you and lighter gray-blue hair appears from the hallway, face stern as she looks at her son.

“a new friend? if they’re anything like—” she stops her train of thought when her eyes land on you, face changing to a friendlier expression. “oh, hello sweetie. you’re… gene’s friend?”

gene huffs. “don’t sound too surprised.”

you control your breathing, already feeling guilty pulling in your chest as you prepare yourself to lie to this woman. you raise your hand to shake hers with a small smile, nodding along.

“yes ma’am. it’s nice to meet you.”

“it’s nice to meet you too! i’m maria.” her face is brightened as she grabs onto your hand, shaking it back. “oh, gene, honey. i’m surprised such a proper-looking and lovely girl wants to talk to you! she’s adorable.”

“what?” he sighs, looking much less intimidating than usual as he watches his tongue in front of his mother. “…anyways, mom, she’s been helping me with school. she makes amazing grades and never gets in trouble… right…?”

you nod.

“wow, i can’t believe you made friends outside of that little club of yours—”

“—it’s a gang—”

“—i’m so proud. do you need a ride home, sweetie? gene and i were just going to leave for dance lessons.”

“oh, that’s okay. i can walk.”

maria shakes her head. “oh, but a girl like you shouldn’t walk alone on the streets, especially with the traffic right now. we’re not necessarily in a dangerous part of town, but still.”

you freeze, before nodding. “if you don’t mind, that would be nice.”

“of course not! gene lets go.” she nods, pulling her keys out of the purse on her shoulder and walking out the front door.

you two stand there for a moment before you turn to gene with a raised eyebrow, a smirk fighting to break out on your face.

“…dance lessons?”

his nose crinkles before he bends his torso, the scent of cigarettes still fresh on his breath as he slits his eyes at you.

“don’t you dare utter a word of that to anyone, or everyone in the school will know about that picture.” he whispers, before straightening himself and pacing forward towards the door. “c’mon, sweetie, time to go home.”

©starhvney, 2024. please do not steal or repost my works as your own.

[ur-loser-gf]

My intro!!!!!!!

hewo!!! im ur loser gf who asks way too many stupid questions:3

(i looked up online where a place like this is and tumblr showed up! im new to it but i did my research and i do hope i can make a new home here:) i heard thats lots of young girls go here to get attention so im sorry if im not welcome!

also imSOO sorry my into is so long im new to this! i tried to make it pretty though!

me - 🌸

this account - 🌺

rules - 🌹

Me!

🌸 name: worthless excuses like me don’t get names:(

🌸 age: biologically 18 but i haven’t been keeping track and i’m stupider than a 9 year old >~<

🌸 location: im from the west but i belong in my room where no one can see me!

🌸 pronouns/gender: im female but im not good enough to be an actual woman, stupid things like me don’t have genders, so it/it’s pronouns are fitting and the best for me!:)

🌸 my sexuality: i don’t deserve to be with anyone but im open to anyone of any gender!

🌸 my physical description:

- blondish brown hair

- blue eyes (not the pretty kind, the dead kind)

- white and extremely pale coz i never go outside

- a bit chubby (130 pounds last time i checked) but im on a diet and doing my best to lose weight (tho im still and always will be gross)

- im also 5’5

- i have big boobs but i hate them

- idk how big my ass is but nothing special

- my thighs are pretty thick but not in a good way

🌸 my mental description

- im really stupid and rightfully hate myself for it

- im psychotic, i have anger issues, and borderline personality disorder

- im super obsessive and the more i like someone the more i let them do whatever they want to me

- but also it can be difficult to earn my trust (think of me like a bunny, weak, fragile, and frightened, only im not cute)

- i have an ed and i sh but i don’t like starving anymore because im incredibly malnourished, i also don’t have a way to cut :(

- i have no friends (wonder why lmao) but when i was younger older men online would always be so kind to me! so now i kinda depend on them:P

- i hate me and everyone else (you) should also!

This Account!

🌺 this accounts purpose: this blog is self harm first and lust second! most stuff doesn’t turn me on and i just use it as a way to hurt myself (by either making me uncomfortable or it hurting my feelings, etc)

🌺 purple text: self harm, vents, or anything along that nature that doesn’t involve my lust:)

🌺 pink text: me horny posting, meaning it’s something that actually does turn me on!

🌺all activity is welcome: dms, asks, anons are and always will be open to anything! go off and do whatever you want! just don’t break the rules hehe! but unsolicited dick pics and stuff like that are okay!

🌺 my interests on this account: im open to all kinks! this is just because while i have personal kinks, what i want doesn’t matter and my pain is good! so i have no sexual limits besides maybe a serious form of pain that hurts *other people* that isn’t me, like a misogyny kink for example, im not okay with, only because im not the only one hurt by misogyny! i don’t want anyone else to hurt:( only me, only i deserve to hurt.

🌺 my activity: im active the most after 7 pm, i gotta try n act like im sane, normal, human, and like a girl or else i’ll be found out! (well i rarely go out or talk to ppl but just in case.. im like batman teehee) and i log off at 10 pm (est)

🌺 when i post: because i have soo many thoughts and really don’t wanna spam and bother people:( and because i love schedule and rly like the scheduling/drafting system on tumblr, i put my thoughts into drafts n when im ready (brave enough) i schedule them for a specific time!:) every 30 minutes starting at 7 pm and ending at 10 pm (est) there should be a new post!:D so if im ever inactive but somehow still posting that’s why:)

Rules!

🌹 Ima have to put on a serious face for this but i feel i need to now because im generally bad at boundaries. absolutely NO rule breaking, under any circumstances. i am the holder of this account and i will block you if i deem it absolutely necessary. i don’t have many rules but im EXTREMELY strict when it comes to them (and i’ve tried but there’s no way i’ll be getting rid of them) so best case scenario, rule breakers will only receive a block, thank you for those who abide by the rules i love you:)

🌹 no racism, transphobia, homophobia, xenophobia, or sexism of any kind on my blog, this is a safe place for everyone. an extremely important thing to note is that i hate myself, degrade myself, hurt myself, let others use me, etc *not* because i’m female, but because of who i am as a creature. my sex and gender have nothing to do with it. please respect that simple fact.

🌹i don’t send. i can imagine that if i were to get close to someone i’ll send them any pictures they want (it’s certainly a possibility but it’s hard to gain my trust). so regardless of your reasons, i will not be posting or sending any pictures of myself that include my face or nudity. my body belongs to my future lover (deity) anyway.

🌹i don’t give out other socials. this one is simple, if i want to i’ll give you my discord but it’s highly rare so please don’t ask:)

🌹NO KIDS NO EXCEPTIONS. anyone under 18 is not welcome here it isn’t good for you, it isn’t even good for me.

🌹if you get triggered by any dark topics (drugs, rape, pedophilia, grooming, ed’s, sh, or anything really) please block me, the idea of hurting someone because of this account hurts me genuinely:(

🌹i will likely add more rules in the future but i’ll make sure to blog about it!

🌹 sorry for all the strictness n stuff i don’t like being firm or anything like that but i believe it’s necessary unless i get so overwhelmed and end up deleting my account within days:(

i’ll likely revise my intro in the future!:) please give me tips on how to make it or me better if you have any!<3

[humiliatingsluts2]

I apologise in advance because this is such an inappropriate/unnecessary comment but I am so jealous of the story you and @myreallovelymind share. I absolutely love reading your retelling of your experience with each other but I also cry after reading each part because I am just so jealous. The whole dom/sub thing, to me, has always felt like fiction, some kind of fantasy of "what could have been if it weren't abuse", (albeit, I am very newly acquainted with the concept of "dominance and submission". I know many people do it, I just can't wrap my head around how it could be real,) but your story is real, it's not fantasy, it's an account of what has happened. True dominance and submission exist. I feel like this fact has ruined my life. I can't believe my first ever message to you sounds so... in-need-of-therapy lmao, I am so sorry. I would probably never admit this anon ask is from me if I ever try to talk to you off anon, oh gosh, this is such a long message too, thank you for even reading it. Someone told me how nice you are, so I thought you wouldn't mind if I have a little breakdown here in your anon ask. Sorry again and thank you for opening up my world, I guess.

-🍰

Hi! And thank you for your ask. If it helps, I think everyone goes through a stage of discovering that their kinks, fantasies and desires are possible in the real world. I’ve had a fairly varied sex life and there were still plenty of “I can’t believe this is real” moments (and hopefully will be plenty more).

This is like if you saw a photo of a stunning landscape and decided your life was ruined because you weren’t there. You are master of your own destiny! Find yourself a responsible kinky person and get dominated!

Also ending your emotional confession with the little cake emoji made me laugh.