#also i guess maybe this doesnt read to others as passive aggressive but in the context of the rest of the messages and how theyve talked

[cerbreus]

Literally nothing makes me more irritated than some guy I hardly know being fucking passive aggressive with me over trivial stuff. What the hell is up with these Minnesotans being knee jerk passive aggressive the second you aren't the most enthusiastic excited person alive..... 🙄🙄😮‍💨

[s0m3b0dy2u]

https://www.tumblr.com/s0m3b0dy2u/771579345917591552/httpswwwtumblrcoms0m3b0dy2u77151989926266470

baby you are loud and wrong!! it’s okay!!

and here’s your answer:

https://www.tumblr.com/salemlunaa/771681172879212544/exactly-i-always-think-takes-like-this-are-dumb

okay, okay, first of all T-T

don't call me baby. like, thats to everyone. its one thing if my partners or friends are saying it, but otherwise it feels mad condescending

second of all, what are you doing in my asks? like fr just leave me alone, i dont fucking like arguing, this is actually so fucking stupid.

like im genuinely in a bad mood as it is and probably shouldnt even be posting right now but i can not take this passive aggressiveness holy fucking shit bro

third...

what am i wrong about? /genq

like actually??

in this post all im saying is that shiftblr (particularly people like you) can tend to be mad toxic (emphasis on tend)

(which, btw: pls stop proving my point T^T )

shiftblr likes to claim its so pure and claim its better than other sides of the community, and its really annoying!!

i know why you might think youre better, you dont spread as much misinformation, you try to be helpful, uhm... oh, wait, those are... kinda the only differences.

im not saying shiftblr is a bad place, but the... shiftbr supremacists ig (idk what else to call it) make it a really uncomfortable space for me so here on my blog, im saying it.

ive... kinda seen as much good advice on here as i have on shifttok, HOWEVER, im not looking for advice: i dont read advice posts and i dont watch advice videos so i genuinely wouldnt know.

the thing with shifttok is to find good people, you have to know where to look. but you dont look. you take the example that proves your point and run with it (which is the same thing all fucking haters do. for example: are trans people really indoctrinating your kids? most of us arent. maybe one or two, but transphobes see that one or two and label that whole community as such.)

i have to state, also, i wasnt on the internet until 2022 and i wasnt on tiktok until 2023, so i definitely wasnt on 2020 shifttok...

there is harsh motivation everywhere, and toxicity everywhere: welcome to the internet

yeah, i think thats that.

this post doesnt "answer" anything. all it does, for me anyway, is reinforce how toxic some people are

ive read that post before, its a reblog of one of my own posts, picking apart the post but not really. it only talks about one moot point id made, the repetitiveness, which was not the point of that post at all.

salemlunaa opens by calling my take "dumb asf" without, apparently, knowing what my take even was. maybe i did a bad job at arguing my case though, because multiple people seemed to take the same thing out of it???

i do think shiftblr is probably equally toxic, although a completely different kind of toxic.

the repetition isnt a problem, its telling people that "ITS YOUR FAULT" and calling them stupid, that's the problem. it hasnt bothered me, but it has bothered others, and i wanted to say something about it.

also, while we're here, what do they mean when they say "idk what to tell you but i guess you’ll be in this community for a long time."??? /genq

this line is more confusing the more times i read it.

anyway, i have nothing else to say as the rest of it is salemlunaa being mad i compared shiftblr to shifttok

on top of that, i said i was done making posts about this and i really fucking mean it

the whole internet is toxic and nobody is better than anyone else!!!

[tiodolma]

Previously, I sent an AU with time travel + the accidental acquisition of baby Mordred + season 5 Merlin and Morgana + divorced parents dynamics + UST. 🤔 I was thinking... What if the accidental acquisition is of baby Arthur instead? Morgana time travels back in time to kill Uther, but doesn't realize she brought Merlin along for the ride (he's linked to her, being both her destiny and her doom).

Morgana kills Uther via poison and Merlin tries to stop her, but he's too late. Both proceed to argue about what she has done and throw spells to one another until baby Arthur makes an appearance. Gaius makes them responsible of Arthur (you killed the king, you deal with the consequences). In summary, prince Arthur grows up with passive aggressive foster parents with magic with a great ton of issues and maxed out UST. If and when that UST gets resolved, that's up to you. 😂

Arthur will be spoiled rotten by both of them lmaoo. They will make him read soooo many books. Morgana will teach him how to do politics and fight wars. At least MerMor will agree with each other on that aspect. There is increasing attraction and UST when their ideas match 😂. Bonus if by raising arthur they will both start to imagine what it would be like if they had a magical child aksjshjwsj (which brings them back to the mordred and aithusa question and then they fight again coz they’ll never get over it 😂). Then later cue teenage angst arthur coz he doesnt have 'gifts’ like his foster parents. I think Arthur will be a more okay king because of them at least XD

They’ll probably fall in bed while doing one of those heated fights about arthur, mordred and aithusa (they’re a mess). I can see that happening. Basically Merlin would be all 🥺🥺🥺🥺 when Morgana blurts out the truth about Aithusa in her frustration and rage and his whole attitude with her will shift 😏😏😏😏

But man the paradox this timeline will induce lmao

With Igrain and Uther dead and with the prince still a baby... that means the Purge will never start. Therefore, Nimueh and Balinor are still attending court. Magic is still alive and free in Camelot. The problem would be the civil unrest after the assasination of the monarch. So... who’s gonna show up and try to take the throne? I’m guessing Nimueh and Balinor would prolly fight it out? Morgana’s birth is probably secure coz the Duke of Cornwall wont have to go fight a war or smth. But the problem would be Merlin not being conceived if Balinor is a Camelotian courtier and his future mom is waaaay over farming in Ealdor. Unless Nimueh takes the throne and drives Balinor away (which is unlikely). Merlin would have to find a way to be conceived by his mother smh 😂... all the while raising a future prince with his sworn enemy from their own timeline 😂😂😂

This timeline also have the funny side effect of morgana and nimueh being in the same room as merlin. Imagine the bitchfights bruh. And Merlin, Morgana and Nimue would be of approx the same age. Morgana would be so insanely jealous of Nimueh’s confidence and merlin’s attraction to her and and vice versa. Maybe morgs will side with nimue bec ofc she will... or maybe not.. morgs cannot stand if anyone not her sits on the throne of camelot... she’s gonna bring nimueh down.. i just know it and... Omg yeah theyre gonna fight over merlin. All the while the Gaius x Alice storyline is happening in the background with a nice nimue x gaius x alice tension going on.

Arthur is gonna grow up with this political landscape and i shiver thinking abt it. Morgana would parade him around as hers and Merlin’s child in front of nimue and she’ll be extra flirty with merlin (holysht yep she’ll definitely seduce him to gain leverage over nimueh).

[foulserpent]

very curious to see how you'd approach fixing the bard's college questline!

heres just off the top of my head. im thinking it has a somewhat comedic (but not outright 100% silly) tone and be really focused on the role of story and song as a chronicle of history. 

the dragonborn joins the college, only to find theyre mostly there to be hired muscle and to help train a more promising bard apprentice by being a muse for their songs- you do the college’s busywork, and they try to write inspiring music about it. 

the apprentice bard is deeply enamored with skyrim’s bardic history and the roles of bards in battle and politics. and they dont like you very much and make scathing passive aggressive songs about you, just bc that would be funny. depending on your choices  they might eventually grow more friendly with you but should never give you the hero treatment. 

the fetch quests for instruments can still be there, but the intent is to play up the humor of the situation (youre hired muscle and this bard who thinks you suck is writing scathing songs about your performance) and diversify the situations a bit

finn’s lute: the lute was stolen by some bandits, one of whom is making bank going from town to town with it as a bard. theyre a charming thief and have a way with words, and no ones gonna side with you over him. he’s very weak and not much of a fight, but hangs out in busy taverns and it will be VERY hard to kil or steal from him and get away with it. you have options as to how to deal with this, including murder, theft, doing him a “favor” (stealing something else for him of greater value as a trade or maybe resolving a conflict with the other bandits), etc. none of the options are particularly glorious and your partner writes a song about the mighty hero begrudgingly making shady deals with a twinkish thief in a tavern. 

panteas flute: a necromancer stole a flute, and now theres whispers of strange music and sounds of revelry in the marshes at night... this is bc the necromancer HAS actually enchanted it to ‘make the dead dance’. you find them in a grove, at the remains of what looks to be some wild bacchic revelry where all the people are dead except for the necromancer. they play the flute, which reanimates the corpses in waves, with some of them attacking you and some just dancing. your partner watches from a safe vantage point and commentates on your performance. 

rjorn’s drum: i dont really remember doing this one ingame. basic summary is ‘find lost drum of a 2nd era battle drummer (who turns out to have been lured to his death in this cairn by a powerful draugr lord) which i think could be interesting.. i guess it would be cool if it could bring the historical element into it more , like we learn about what a battle drummer was. might be corny but it also might be fun if during the boss battle, the ghost of rjorn manifests and plays a warsong that gives you advantage in the battle. your partner joins in

the “tending the flames” quest comes AFTERWORDS and is the grand culmination of events. id want it to be very much steeped in history and kind of exploring the role of the bard in nordic culture. we NEED to be able to read more of the poetic edda since its like, the bardic history of skyrim. 

i think it would be interesting if the ghost of the bard svaknir (who accompanies you) uses the Voice in song form, which im not sure if thats technically just a headcanon or not but it would be really interesting. he definitely should be singing AND fighting (instead of just fighting and yelling) but you cant actually talk to him or get him to tell you the verses. 

once you recover the verse, viarmo is like “god damnit this is barely intact. UGH. come see me later” as-is ingame and the quest is on hold. and this bit might be stupid but here me out:

at this point, you can wait a few days and get a summons to return to the college and complete the quest as normal. but youll hear rumors like “theyre saying that something happened at dragonsreach.. that big dragon skull is gone!!” it adds a miscellaneous quest. 

you go investigate, and theres a big fucking hole in the walls where numinex’s skull used to be. a guard was like “damndest thing. it just went FLYING!”, its implied that this was numinex being resurrected by alduin.

your partner, a devoted bard very interested in the college’s history, is like “HOLY SHIT LETS GO FIND NUMINEX TO HEAR THE STORY STRAIGHT FROM HIM!!!” theyre really enthusiastic about this as a way to both learn this mysterious segment of history and as a more dignified way to save the verses than “making shit up”. you can choose to accept this or to go “no way lol” and just complete the quest as normal by making up new verses. (choosing to visit numinex will gain your partners approval, choosing not to will make them think youre lame)

if you accept, your partner is like “hmmm well all the stories say numinex roosted on mount anthor. lets check there”. you go there, he’s there, but not quite himself. he’ll be willing to talk with you, though very rude. he doesnt care that much about the silly little human festival, but he’s really quite lonely, lamenting about his imprisonment and eager to tarnish the reputation of the foul nord that captured him. one way or the other, you can get his side of the story in order to truly restore the poetic edda. you can go through this without him becoming hostile, and afterwords he can be found here or at the throat of the world, chatting with paarthurnax

either way, the ending is similar- you can tell the story as numinex told it, or you can make shit up like you do ingame. the festival is a success, and the bards college starts treating you like an actual bard. you can now actually play instruments, and earn money in little sidequests to perform at inns and at events and stuff, help write songs, etc.

maybe as a final little thing.. your partner asks you to accompany them to bard’s leap. if you do that, and you jump alongside them, theyll finally respect you . (just a bit) and they can be a permanent companion

[bananaman-mp3]

Eleven

maven helps mare learn the names of the houses and recognized them. house of samos aka evangelines family is the highest. they also dress in plain black silk and have no shinies. digging the elegance here.

ofc hes in charge of the weapons used in war of course thats likely why he is so important in the first place. of course it about the war. it always is.

mares specially nervous when they leave, because silvers are watching and she has to maintain the lie that put her into this clusterfuck and its hard. its hard and nobody understands. well maybe maven does. he reassures her again and goddamnit the bar is so low. why. hes literally being a decent person for all i know he will turn out to be the main antagonist. this is what ive been reduce to. simping for decent dudes. wow.

there are hint at mare being able to perceive the cameras and potentially any object that uses electricity to function. which would be amazing if this turns into something like a government overthrowing thing which it is shaping up to be. i like where this is goin.

the mention of sentinels reminds mare of the extremely real possibility of the guard attacking them and exposing them. to the whole world.

tiberias: i made this red girl a silver princess!

me: you fucked up an already traumatized child, is what you did. look at her shes gotten worse anxiety and paranoia!

prince boys want some quality time with them girls, huh.

GSHDJJDKDJ OFC QUEENIE THINKS ITS INAPPROPRIATE. LADY WHAT ARE YOU CATHOLIC?

…on second thought. lets not apollo-dodgeball this.

cal saves it by suggesting they escort each others girlfriends, which, if they knew better, would suggest their bug prince likes-likes the red girl. im guessing he kinda does. yeah.

“Like any wife, she hates her husband for challenging her,”

girl what is this the xvii century.

im sorry to miss aveyard but i deserve financial compensation for having to read “she-devil”. what makes you think the devil isnt THE girlboss. uncreative.

guys dont leave maven alone with her please.

mares got her priorities straight. he doesnt let these pretty-boy princes make her swoon over them. silvers are silvers.

i am reminded that mare i short. dgjfkf lmao.

shes so passive aggressive towards cal as they go to her room. like- sure hes a royal but. its not like he chose to be born one.

cal says mares a lot like maven. huh. inch resting. says shes smart- to which mare narrates her education was poor, but obviously he elaborates, pointing towrds her understanding of people. at how she even noticed he didnt belong when they met at the stilts.

she has a moment of poor power control but nothing really happens. hope she gets to learn how to use those soon. i have a feeling theyll get someone to teach her.

cal tells her about her family. she feels extremely guilty again. theyll release her brothers and kilorn from conscription as per her request and they sent someone to tell her parents where she is.

getting to her room and noticing the cameras when cel doesnt makes her very aware of her power. she thought it was normal. cal doesnt know how to comfort her :(

[omegawolverine]

Wanna infodunp bout sumthin? Plz do (respind whenever you wanna dont even worrg bout time here)

this has been sitting in my ask box for like a week now and im so sorry about that but also the last time i posted an info dump (which, for me, means bitching my ever loving heart out about the subject, because i genuinely find it incredibly difficult to speak fondly of things i enjoy without just going "yeah i think its neat!" essentially and then forgetting all the reasons why i like it) somebody came into my replies to break the dni i made in that post, invalidate my trauma and then say i was gaslighting them for stating my own opinion so um. yeah ive been a bit hesitant to say the least, considering hot takes are basically how i show my love for things :)

but, i have now decided to just post my least inflammatory take on one of my hyperfixations in response to this and then just. leave bc i dont wanna get into drama over my dumb little opinions again.

anyways, quick dni: dont even fucking touch this post if you're going to be aggressive with me, you don't use tone tags when making corrections or criticisms or you wanna just trash my opinion. ultimately people can do whatever they want, im just expressing my own annoyances as someone who has been in the IT fandom for awhile and has some complaints as a result (as im sure most other fans do lol)

moving on...rant time:

stan uris and richie tozier are canonically best friends in IT and the erasure of their friendship in favor of appealing to reddie fans is fucking gross and weird, especially bc stan is then chalked up to just some mean jewish kid who likes birds and is annoyed by richie 25/8 instead of having an actual fucking personality in every reddie fic just bc fans want so badly to make reddie best friends to lovers and its just?? yall can make reddie best friends to lovers WITHOUT erasing stan's canonical personality. yall can make them best friends to lovers while still acknowledging that stan and richie are canonically best friends and that stan canonically was an incredibly important person to richie.

this also goes for bill and eddie btw!! its just significantly worse with stan which reads Very Wrong when you take into consideration that fic writers always write bill denbrough as a sweet little white boy who everyone's at least a little bit in love with but then write stan as this rude jewish boy who's always mean and critical of richie for just being himself (and a lot of those "annoying" traits i see people make stan give richie shit about are adhd traits, which also rubs me wrong?? like why are so many NT fic writers so comfortable with calling my ND traits annoying) which isnt even canon?? like. canonically they poke fun at each other, they call each other names and say stupid shit but not to the extent of actually hurting each other because they are best friends and they know each other to the point where they know what boundaries the other has, they arent just making passive aggressive comments at the other and then going "it's a joke bro!" when/if the other gets upset.

also?? the trend of making "fix it" fics for IT chapter 2 where eddie is revived/doesn't die but stan does and is then only brought up in passing? not fucking cute. dont call it a "fix it fic" if the only "fix it" is you reviving a character for your fucking ship, especially when the other dead character is the BEST FRIEND of 1/2 of the ship? like. what. do yall just think richie getting married would somehow fix the fact that he lost the person that he was closest to? because, news flash, the person he was closest to was not eddie. they were very close friends, richie fucking loved the dude /p and /r, but stan was canonically his best friend and was canonically the person richie was closest to like?? what is not clicking omgggg

stanley uris is an incredibly fucking important character in IT and he is especially fucking important to richie goddamn tozier. you dont just get to ignore richie's best friend and write him into this mean jewish man box because his actual personality doesnt serve your ship like for the love of fucking god stan does not need to be there to create angst for your fics, he doesnt need to be there to make your hurt/comfort piece where you make stan borderline abelist just so richie can run and cry into eddie's scrawny little arms like im begging you to just write something where the hurt/comfort doesnt come from stan being a douchebag because canonically he was not one. he was a good fucking friend, he fucking loved richie and they got each others weird asses like nobody else did.

like. idk. ultimately yall can do what you want with ur fics i guess but also it's just fucking weird if you ask me?? and maybe that's just because im a dumbass richie kinnie who absolutely adores stan, but as somebody who loves reddie and reads reddie fics regularly, it is so goddamn annoying to only see my other favorite character written in to be mean, create angst or just be fucking dead time and time again when eddie is revived and then not even written accurately half the time bc he's not a fucking fragile dude who needs help all the time either, he's a shouty little cunt who know's he can be fucking dangerous if he wants to be and he doesn't hesitate to dish out some nasty ass comments if given the chance. just please for the love of god stop writing these characters ooc its killing me fr-

(btw i know most of this shit is just done by accident and its mostly done by movie stans who havent read the book, it's just still annoying to me, ya know? and this whole post is /nm, i just talk like this bc it's what comes naturally to me!! this is how i complain about literally everything, regardless of how big the issue is so dont take this too seriously pls)

[lilietsblog]

so anyway im just going to scream about pgte queer representation again

cause guys we’ve got

- a bisexual most-definitely-aromantic-i-have-a-flipbook-of-evidence main character who’s the cutest blushing romantic to ever have eyes for approximately anything that moves

- her aroace-dont-@-me-i-also-have-a-flipbook-of-evidence-and-all-of-yall-saying-she-just-likes-flying-fotresses-better-than-sex-are-actively-proving-my-point enemies to vaguely-love-interests-maybe-i-mean-the-mc-literally-said-she-should-know-better-than-to-think-she-doesnt-love-her foil who uses flashing skin as a method of passive aggressiveness

- a cute as heck aroace autistic boi who’s in a romantic relationship

- with a heart-full-of-love very pan girl who respects his boundaries (once she gets to know him anyway. indrani pls dont pinch random ppls butts when you first meet them you’re awful)

- I am not talking about poly right now because it’s technically a separate thing from queer but the protagonist is also in a relationship (that is friends with benefits, where benefits include being disgustingly and adorably domestic) w/ said girl and stans her boyfriend and their relationship intensely, while the girl won’t stop shipping her / meddling in her Other Love Life because she wants her to be happy and is also terrible askdjfhaksjdh themmmmm

- a demiromantic demisexual disaster of an older man who’s a dad to one of the above, an uncle to another and technically if you squint a stepdad to the third, and killed the dad of the last one (not listed in order) (none of these people are related genetically to be clear, except for the dead one), and mentored his nephew about what being on the aro/ace spectrum is like bc having one (1) love interest does not make you not on the spectrum actually

While Papa had not been able to understand, not truly, for it was against the nature of an incubus to be as he was, his other father had seen in [him] similarities to what he’d once seen in his uncle. Enough to suggest a conversation. Not every kind of love involves bedplay or poetry, Uncle [that guyyyy] had told him. You can crave closeness with someone without craving them in other ways. Sometimes it just… fits. The intensity of it can be misleading, but you will learn.

- yeah so the autistic boi is also the adopted son of a warlock and an incubus. they are married. its controversial. incubi are not normally SENTIENT

- (this one is and they were the cutest couple as long as their son was single. now him & his gal take the cake)

- so. many. gay background and side characters

- unfortunately enbies and trans peeps are side character only but there is this vibe that like 3/4 of the side characters could be trans and we would never know bc guess whose business this is none of? anyone’s. maybe the big bad is trans. no-one in the setting has any reason to care

- also the one trans woman definitely mentioned to be such is currently off conquering her homeland. we stan a future empress. i mean imperialism is bad but so is obstructing a war effort to save the world so we stan anyway tbh

- using facepaint to indicate what gender you currently are in accordance with your homeland’s tradition? people who can read the facepaint use the right pronouns when you’re right there and everyone else / when you’re not there goes with “they”? that is happening

- “ma’am... please start a dynasty... get married... have kids... if u like girls better that’s fine we have the (miracle) technology just please... change your surname to something respectable and do a dynasty” “no”

- this is not even remotely close to everything that is happening

- i swear straight characters exist. i mean i mentioned one already (EDIT: turns out i didnt mention her. i removed that bullet point for some reason. tl;dr the protag had a ?crush? on her for a while) and there are no less than *counts on fingers* three others that statistically are shown to have interest in only girls/guys respectively

[soopysoap]

Uh, I read your post about having an 80's au for the foreigen kids. And since I'm a Foreigen kids stan, can you tell me more about it?

HI. ANON? ILY.

They're really just random n messy ideas and i forget how many there are but i'm throwing them all here

so the whole thing takes place in highschool and mainly surrounds the cockswolds cotswolds (mainly mark but rebecca is usually there too)

most of them are seniors, rebecca's a junior

mark is an unpopular nerd, therefore the main character because it's the 80s. so is rebecca but she's not the main character

uhh everyone else is kinda just there

like there are no side characters all the foreign kids are kinda equal focus- wise but the main one is mark i guess

like the leader of their group idk idk

estella is the stereotypical rich popular girl, but she's also a closeted lesbian they're all closeted tbh so she's trying to hide that from her mom. Her mom, instead of being all 'Blah blah blah brrak hearts to fuel my life' or something she's just obsessed with status and how popular Estella is. She's always pleased when Estella has a boyfriend, but it's not often. Basically Estella is more smiley and happy than she usually is, but she's stil usually indifferent. Smiles either when she's genuinely happy or wants something. Most of the time she's deadpan or rolling her eyes

Gaydamien is the rich popular jock, his ego is huge. His dad (since he cant be the son of satan in this one) is the principal of their school. He usually gets what he wants, no matter what. Instead of "You dare [insert something here] to the Prince of Hell????" its that but with "Damien Thorn???" yknow because of his last name. He's been dating Estella to boost his ego, mainly. Doesn't realize he likes guys yet. Estella and Damien hate each other, but everyone believes they're dating because they're too scared to say otherwise. They complain about each other to each other AND to people in private.

Pip is just- he's less of a nerd but more of a kid that's just. There. He isn't nerdy but he definitely isn't popular. At all. He's just a pushover man idk what to tell you. He's usually being bullied. He has a huge crush on Damien, because he got him out of trouble with some other jock like. Once. Always gets giggly around him, it's funny to watch. Also very passive aggressive @ Estella because she's dating him. They have very few classes together, but whenever they do he's always like "hey :) so hows damien" and she responds with "why would i know" and he's like "because??? youre dating him???" and she looks really confused for a second and then is like "OH- Oh yeah okay uh. I don't know. So." and then she starts complaining about him or something and pip is all ":) why not just break up?"

Pip also hates Christophe

Which, speaking of, Christophe is also an annoying egotistical jock who plays football with Damien. Damien and Christophe are best friends. Christophe and Gregory are dating in secret

Gregory is the stereotypical gay kid. No other way to put this. If Ryan Evans from High School Musical had a superiority complex. He's a theatre kid, and takes pride in tha- OH MY GOD. Rachel??? Maybe he's Rachel Berry from Glee??? it would kind of work idk,, ok uh anyway yeah he's always bullied for being openly gay and it sucks but he took defense classes in Yardale (yes he's still a transfer from Yardale, yes he constantly mentions it) so he's able to hold his own. But Christophe usually steps in to get Gregory out of there and tend to his wounds.

Rebeccaaaaaa she's the unpopular girl, just started school and doesnt know shit about it after being homeschooled almost her whole life. Has a little crush on Estella, but Estella "Doesn't" notice her. (Estella just thinks of her as some pretty girl who isnt worth her time) Rebecca usually keeps to herself, is usually gossiped about. Estella never gets involved, but whenever she'd get asked about it, instead of defending Rebecca she just says "I hardly believe any of the rumors. She was homeschooled, not taught in witchcraft or satanisim. Or whatever else everyone's saying. Everyone should really calm themselves, if they were so worried about what people thought of them when Rebecca started going here then they should get that in order first before ruining Rebecca's social life. God. You all have to grow up." So, not necessarily a defense but also not an insult. Rebecca still finds it sweet.

Mark is a neerrrrrrd 80s main character. Minus the popular love interest and yearning 😩 And also if the main character had a god/superiority complex.. he's bullied the most other than Gregory, mostly by Damien n Christophe. Girls don't like him, guys don't like him, he really only had Pip and Rebecca for a while. Pip because he's overly nice to almost everyone and wanted to befriend Mark immediately. Usually during lunch Mark sits with Pip and Rebecca. Mark has to hear about Damien all the time from Pip though, so that's annoying.

Uh I know that Pocket is TECHNICALLY a foreign kid but idk shit about him and dont really think about him but he's Estella's cousin and often hangs out with her since he doesn't really have a friend group. He's also really good friends with Pip. BUT since this is a horror au he dies off early

After theyre all friends some stuff happens yada yada yada Gaymien realizes he's pan and has a crush on Pip, Estella takes Rebecca out for a makeover , Christophe gets severely injured because this is a horror au as well, Damien and Pip make out at some point-

Estella and Rebecca both know that theyre Lesbians but they refuse to admit that they like each other

Kinda thinking of this as if it was stranger things or something so i definitely want there to be like... a series of bad events. everyone thinks everythings cool and fine and whatever and there are moments where our group kinda just get to chill n' be kids. idk i just want there to be a falling out in the group and then they all realize they need each other or something dumb like that

also for some fun chill moments we can have estella and rebecca walking around holding hands and laughing n' stuff bc they love each other idk idk

and after the falling out when they all join together again estella is the first to see some scary stuff but she was also the first to drop everyone except damien and christophe (because of her mother) and so she blames herself and doesnt think she can go to them and just has to deal with it on her own

eventually she tells damien who immediately tells pip who immediately wants to get the group together again

everyone's (the cockswolds) are reluctant to hang out again because of the way they were just forgotten so easily, but they go anyway. because of the horror stuff. they both are pissed at estella though

at some point estella gets badly hurt and rebecca saves her and starts nursing her back to health

estella: why are you... why are you doing this. dont you hate me?

rebecca: i'm doing it because i actually care for you, idiot.

estella: i care for you i just... couldnt...

rebecca: what? spend time with a lowlife like me?

estella: you know thats not what i meant-

they go on like that for a little while longer until they wind up confessing to each other "Because I love you! Is that so fucking hard to believe?!" Would be rebecca's and Estella's would probably be "I don't hate you! You're my favorite person, and I hated having to stop hanging out with you! I love you, okay?!" it would be :) fun

damien and estella come out to each other first. well- damien doesnt really come out he just tells her how confused he is and they hug it out and estella tells him she's a lesbian and they both talk a little while longer and decide that breaking up would be the best idea

thats all i've really figured out for sure,, i have some more ideas but this is. a lot already so. i'm just gonna stop before i write too much 👉👉 anyway, anon ily ty for this. also sidenote: the horror stuff has to do with weird sacrificial cults. i know i have nothing for that and really only talked about how everything starts and drama instead of the interesting stuff but 🥴 i have no defense i just love my kids ok drama is fun

[red-elric]

furuba but it’s kimi instead of tohru :))

- so those of you who have read my one furuba fic (hey read my furuba fic) know that i kinda have some hcs for kimi’s family life? summarized: bio mom left when she was a kid bc her dad was cheating; she has a step mom, dad still cheats and the step mom knows about it but is okay with it as long as the dad tells her she’s his favorite; step mom and kimi have this passive aggressive relationship where they’re both trying to prove they’re the dad’s favorite, meanwhile dad’s a gaslighting piece of crap. anyway in this au, step mom and kimi get into a fight and step mom tries to kick her out, which only works bc kimi got fed up and decided to leave anyway (dad wasn’t around at the time, or he would’ve tried to calm things down prolly). kimi stubbornly ends up living in a tent bc she’s way too proud to ask anyone for help (and she doesn’t have many friends), shigure and yuki find her, etc etc etc

- tohru DOES exist, but her grandfather’s health issues aren’t as severe, so she stays living with him in ignorance of the sohma family curse. the whole drama w kyo and kyoko and everything still happened with her, and the kyoru is like kind of a side story happening in the background (with some shenanigans about whether or not tohru found out about the curse somehow maybe) but it’s KIMI TIME in this au

- i feel like it’s really important to mention that kimi’s first instinct, when shigure yuki and kyo turned into animals in front of her for the first time, was to whip out her phone and vague tweet ‘sohma yuki is a RAT!!!!’ she gets sworn to secrecy by the sohmas right after, but the talk of the school the next day is ‘what the hell did the prince do to get called out by kimi???’ she gets ‘harassed’ by the prince yuki club about ‘besmirching the prince’s good name,’ which obviously turns into kimi harassing the prince yuki club right back (i imagine she plays the whole thing off as a ‘lovers’ momentary spat,’ from which they ‘worked out and made up very quickly and enthusiastically o3-’)

- kimi still isn’t in yuki and kyo’s class! she’s also much, MUCH more difficult for either of them to deal with, and weirdly, yuki and kyo sort of.... end up spending a lot more time together than they do in canon? they kind of come to a truce of ‘kimi and shigure are way too difficult to deal with,’ at least at home, and they don’t have a tohru buffer to lean on this time. kimi has like. next to no interest in yuki or kyo, so honestly their relationships dont develop that much. HOWEVER, when she meets kagura and the prince yuki club (and any time she interacts with them), she tends to hang ALL OVER kyo or yuki with the specific intent of pissing off the girls, because she really likes to start shit like that

- kimi’s a business oriented girl. she wants SHIGURE to be her SUGAR DADDY. shigure joked along with her flirting at first, but quickly realized that she might actually be serious, so now he’s kind of afraid of her??? in that, he avoids being caught alone in a room with her and will occasionally beg kyo or yuki to help him (they never do--shigure deserves the harassment).

- kyo and yuki don’t have a big three dynamic with kimi the way they do in canon with tohru. you know who are the other two to kimi’s big three??? MOMIJI AND HARU. momiji is DELIGHTED by kimi, and the two of them co-conspire often in all sorts of things. they plan family trips, prank other sohmas, and gossip like NOBODIES business. kimi and haru, on the other hand, both have a certain ‘unstoppable chaotic force’ energy, and they get along quite well too. the three of them being so close helps a lot with filling in the gaps where kimi doesn’t quite fit the shoes of being a kind, loving heroine like tohru; kimi has the force of personality to point out when the sohmas and their family situations are being ridiculous, and momiji and haru are kind and loving enough to provide comfort and support to a lot of the family.

- yuki at whatever point in the story: i think... i should accept the offer to be the student council president. it’d be good for my character development and self confidence and whatever. / kimi from the next room over: YUN! omg we can spend so much more time together now! takei asked me to join the student council as a secretary JUST this morning :))

- kimi and kakeru are friends at the beginning of the story! kimi has a crush on him and he’s a) oblivious and a dick about it and b) gay (my au my rules it’s fuckin endgame yukeru in this bitch. komaki is his beard and she’s fully aware of that lahfkdsjflkdshfksdjflkds). kimi HATES that she has a crush on this wimpy eboy and and it’s a point of tension between them :)) especially once yukeru endgame starts being more and more obvious

- at the beginning of the story, kimi...... doesnt take momiji seriously as a potential romantic partner. big big part of her arc is recognizing that the tall, traditionally attractive boys arent always the best romantic options, though, and she does eventually start to fall for him :)) and THEN he grows like eight inches in a month and she starts calling him an investment lahfkdsjfksdhjfdshfksjlkfsjl

- the beach akito/kimi/momiji confrontation is CHARGED because MOMIJI is there and he’s in DANGER and kimi gets fuckin PISSED because that’s HER friend, her boy, her ONE. akito talks shit and kimi talks fuckin shit back and they get in a full on catfight. they’re screaming at each other, clawing at each other. kureno has to physically pull akito away; kimi only doesnt chase after them because momiji is hurt. this is a major moment in kimi’s slow realization of her feelings for momiji :))

- kimi and rin, once rin makes up with haru and is able to relax a little, become a seething, curse fighting TEAM. on the other hand..... the argument of ‘the curse WILL break, eventually’ ends up working on kimi, even though she feels strange about it. she cares about kyo, to an extent, but it’s a lot easier for her to give up on him than it was for tohru in canon, for obvious reasons.

- when his curse breaks, momiji has someone to tell :,))

- tohru visits shigure’s house one morning to tell kyo about her feelings. akito stabs kureno, runs to shigure’s house, and has a conversation with tohru (who she has never met before lahfdlsfjdskfjdfksl) screaming about ‘oh are you some bitch here to confess to kyo?? guess fuckin WHAT he belongs to me, to us, he’s getting locked up in the spring, fuck you’ but uhh tohru has had a lot of offscreen development and whatnot and she ends up getting thru to akki. and then she falls off a fuckin cliff lhfkdsjfkdsjflksjfdlks you know how the story goes. anyway kimi had spent the night at momiji’s house and comes back to the WEIRDEST mood layfldskdsjfieuwfjkdskhggkdasjflkdsjlkjflkds

- oh and for good measure: uo goes to college instead of following kureno, akki and shigure get couple therapy. yukeru are gay, momiji and kimi live happily ever after. the end :))

[ezraofthegreen]

At first I was just gonna pass by it and not say anything to not be disrespectful but then I saw your answer to that last anon. Look, I get that writing is hard. Sometimes inspiration just doesnt come and its really hard to get out of that. Writing isnt easy. But that answer, especially with that gif made me feel uncomfortable as well. At first I thought it was just me but i asked some people after i saw the ask and they agreed that it did kinda feel like he's uncomfortable. I was also wondering when the last answer to that was cause i didnt even know there were others and the last one was in late November. That anon waited 2 months for 2 sentences that make it seem like he's uncomfortable. If that was me I would feel so shity. Most of the time i LOVE the way its writen and i think you do an amazing job! But that felt like you kind of wanted to get rid of it and just threw something on it so you could move on. Especially since on first read i could spot at least a grammar mistake per sentence. If i was you, i would have waited a bit more so you could write something a bit more, sentient i guess? Maybe send a message to the author so they're aware that you're having trouble with it or ask if they could modify it so you could write something better? Honestly i understand the feeling of not knowing what to write and i get that your intention was to portray him speechless but, i mean. It kinda sounds like he's not feeling anything and is looking at it like "Okay... so thats something" and then just chucks it away to figure out how to reject this person. Maybe i'm being too judgmental, i dont know. I have trouble writing Ezra and i aplaud you doing it on the daily. I do think that a short answer with no emotions isnt very appropriate for a very long letter filled my emotions and feelings but what do i know. You know best i guess. I do think you might want to reflect on it and maybe see what you think of it after reading the comments? Maybe you already have and this was the best you could do so you posted it anyway. I look forward to reading more in the future and i hope you take this as the advice that it is! Hope i didnt say too much. 😅💙

I want to go ahead and let you know that you are being disrespectful and passive aggressive as hell, it’s not appreciated and I am not amused. It is not that writing is hard and it is not that I don’t want to respond to people. It’s that I have a life outside of this and I am struggling to even function at the best of times which I’m starting to realize people like you are overlooking or just not grasping.

Now let’s address your thinly veiled attempt at advice. I went back and I changed the gif. I will admit that was an incorrect choice but I still stand by how I answered the question. The people I asked about it said that it conveyed exactly what I intended which was Ezra being taken aback. I apologize it made you uncomfortable, that was not my intent. As for the wait period between ask, there was a period that tumblr ate everything so that’s not my fault. ai can’t control what this hell site decides to do. But I do know that a lot of the reason that took so long to answer was because the authors sent it every day, if not every other day for almost three weeks and I was extremely bothered by that. I made grammatical mistakes, everyone does, I mean look at this ask you’re sending. There’s some here but I’m not calling you out on it or making you feel shitty. I’m being polite, or at least something close to it. Maybe I should’ve waited longer but I gave the answer that I thought was fit. Ezra lives in my head and he responds how HE sees fit. I would’ve happily messaged the author but that’s really fucking hard to do when it’s an anonymous sender, however I have a really good idea about who it could’ve been. Ezra didn’t reject anyone, he read and understood the letter and he responded how he saw fit.

If you really understand, like truly understand then you wouldn’t of sent this anonymous ask or the last one. What you’re doing is trying to give advice but all it is telling me how to run this blog and how I should, well Ezra, feel and respond to the things recieved and that’s not okay. There’s no maybe to you being judgements, you’re being very judgmental and it’s not fair to me. Ezra is very hard to write for, you’re right but that doesn’t give you free reign to dictate how I write for him and that’s exactly the air of this ask. I reread that letter more times than I could count and I still stand by the way it was answered.

I would appreciate it if you did not stay on Ezra’s page and I want everyone reading this to thank you for being the reason the anonymous feature to ask will now be turned off. If you really, truly, want to have a conversation about this then message me privately. Do not hide behind the anonymous feature. I am done with this conversation and I will not address it again.

[isa-ghost]

Mmmm oop rant?

Gonna be a slight asshole for a moment possibly?? Sorry? Idk I just wanna be blunt and barf some thoughts stewing in mind out rq now that more people are talking about the fanfic post that circled around today.

Am I the only one that thought “your move, Jack” was extremely bitchy and just overall incredibly passive-aggressive and rude?? Like way to put Sean on the spot there. Not cool. It just felt to me like Sean felt like he was forced to reply? Idk. Like obv he prob wasn’t or maybe didn’t feel forced at all but it just felt that way to me? In general it just came off dickish. Sure OP couldve phrased it better or just not said it at all, whatever. But they did and it comes off bitchy. Also... it implies they expected him to answer? Like.. Nobody should expect Sean to respond to anything, its a whole game of luck and all that, I digress. But nobody especially shouldnt expect him to reply to something that’s teetering on the line between a general thought/concern and discourse.

And like,,

Yeah, cause Sean toooootally wants to read your egoshipping fics, right?? Or your fics of him doing shit that maybe makes him uncomfortable, or is just overall weird in some way. Or GOD FORBID a fic shipping him with a friend or one of his egos. Or just smut or some other possibly disturbing form of content in general?? Like... he’s a real person and probably doesnt wanna read your stuff that treats him like a character, whether or not its some form of nsfw or other content that’s iffy at best???

Its probably really hard to find writing that doesn’t get too close to a boundary or something?? Not to mention Sean barely has time to look at shitposts, art, edits, memes, etc in the tag, wtf makes you think he has time to read a fic?? Not to mention there’s god only knows how many of us out of 23 MILLION people posting in that tag 24/7 at any given time. Its hard to get through everything let alone devote more than a few seconds or so to any one thing, regardless of what it is. He’s said before he reblogs as much stuff as he can in a chunk of time that he has, and lets not even get into complicated things that play into that chunk’s length, like limiting how long he spends online/on his phone and irl things and all that stuff. He reblogs a ton of that stuff bc its quick and easy, he cant do that with a fic. He cant just sit there and read- not to even mention his attention span (I relate somewhat). On top of which he cant speed reblog fics like he does other stuff the community makes without thoroughly reading it bc what if he accidentally reblogs smth that’s not,, idk, generally Yikes(tm) in some way?

I dunno, I don’t really have a conclusion for this post or anything and I feel like I have more to say but I don’t know What, so like.. That’s just what’s been tumbling around in my head for the last few hours.

Despite this being a more,,, neutral or semi-negative response to the whole thing, I still do very much stand by the more positive (or maybe neutral?) response I initially had, which I’ll screenshot here I guess--

Uh.. End rant, I guess. :/

[transrightsjimin]

was on the phone w my parents for 1 hour and almost 40 minutes today and on the one hand i think it was good to keep each other up to date on stuff and give them that social interaction they rly crave, but on the other hand i feel so fucking weird abt not saying anything when my mom talked abt having done smth very racist + pro-cop nd i was just so shocked and saddened but also didnt know what to say??

like she is in one of those neighbourhood whatsapp group chats ('buurtpreventie apps') (which are unfortunately rly popular in recent years), in which people from a certain street or flat contact each other to keep an eye on each other aka use it to report random black or arab people to the cops. which she did when two men were in her flat to collect money for charity nd apparently it was a scam bc the permit wasnt for that specific charity that week but just. my mom talking abt how she snitched on them nd the rest of the flat of even older people encouraging that, nd worst of all my mom going 'kijk dit klinkt vast een beetje racistisch maar het waren twee donkere mannen dus we dachten dat dat dezelfde waren als de oplichters waar we over hoorden' HELLO??? 🤢 like i had to say smth but then i fucking didnt bc i was just so weirded out and know how threatening my mom gets when shes criticized. like i just dont know how to get some sense or compassion into her head bc she's blocking it all. she used to be a socialist who even supported anarchists and protest state violence and now she's just.... vaguely in agreement w criticism of class structures but as soon as it's about strictness if tax authorities to the poor, or about racism, her support stops and ppl are criminal to her. it's so tiresome. so im frustrated i didnt say anything but then DID talk the ears if my dad's face by trying to explain where mask skepticism came from nd how the govt and conspiracy theorists were to blame for this and why they do this (money), but i was rambling too much prob nd my dad just doesnt follow anything bc old nd adhd nd former alcoholic (he also didnt understand what memes r which i realized too late after trying to tell him mama sent me a 13 page pdf w bad memes) nd so eventually he noted 'but please don't eh get into the opposite side of these conspiracy theories, believing in other ones' nd im just 🤦‍♂️ i prob sounded fuckingrly incomprehensible nd extreme to him??

he also asked me what i thought of the sylvana simons interview in the interview he gifted me nd i said i liked it but was side eyeing some repeated, rethorical questions she was asked abt 'extremist muslims!!'. he seemed more positive abt BIJ1 / sylvana than my mom who completely discredits them just solely based on the racist general public's treatment of her, whereas my dad seemed kind of curious but also tone policed how sylvana should have not sounded this angry and how he found it strange she kept bringing up 'minorities' and *very confused* ' l.. g... b...t ... q .. uhh'. which is still somehow better than my mom who immediately discredited her political party based on nonsense racists spout for years so i guess the bar is on the ground

nd ALSO me telling my dad contact w my mom is difficult was met w him relativating it by saying my mom is in severe pain bc chronic pains nd illnesses nd even worse lately, shes on her way to become deaf (p much is on one ear nd the other almost) nd was too stubborn to get a hearing aid (but then was more willing to in the end). but anyway his argument is not to be so harsh at mama for being so snappy bc shes in pain nd has bleeding intestines again nd hears these noises bc of her messed up ears so cant sleep etc and then theres just regular back and hip nd knee pains she has bc of deteriorating bones bc medication. like i get thats horrible nd i do get that thats why her moods change so much nd shes so scary to talk to but i dont think thats a reason to never ask her to maybe not say or do smth abusive or bigoted??

like at the time i was happy that they were finally a bit more satisisfied bc i talked to them for a long time but im just really so puzzled on what to say to them when they say smth horrible, like. i feel like i have to try to educate them nd not make them (especially my mom) move further to the right nd to racist rethoric. nd i dont even think her racist views changed that much (though she did luckily, though only somewhat, changed her mind on zwarte piet) but the netherlands is just so behind on shit that even acknowledging racism exists here is incomprehensible to ppl like her and enrages them so much bc its seen as a personal insult. like idk what to say to an old white woman who had threatened to slap me if i ever called her actions racist again, and who clearly believes in cops and antiblackness so much just like the average member of a buurtpreventie app, that calling cops on black men is justified to her. like idk how to change someones mind bc she never listened to me nd only gets aggressive nd i have to stay nice and never confront her actions bc shes in insufferable pain???? what about other disabled people who r in chronical pains and SUFFER bc of racism?? like white disabled people rly get a free pass on being shitty bc of feeling bad but the same mentality isnt applied to poc. like she's rly become a stubborn old adult who doesnt listen to / read what others state unless it doesnt challenge her views or if its on tv or whatsapp groups, nd anything confronting is met w insults or passive agressiveness. like idk how to educate ppl like that bc my parents (esp mom) clearly refuse to be open to that, and they dont use social media nd cant read the same level of english as me so all info has to be in dutch but also everything is seen as a personal insult or 'too elitist' language so i rly dont know what to do. like i want to be more than a fucking ally on only the internet nd maybe 1 or 2 protests per year, but idk how to get through the thick skulls of people 30-40 years older than me who r so hard to communicate w bc they dont get technology, social media, newer language, poc, lgbt stuff, cant read a lot of english nd stop reading at difficult words etc ???

[matoitech]

shadowsight or leafstar?

shadowsight

Sexuality Headcanon: i have genuinely never thought about it uhh. mlm i guess

Gender Headcanon: trans <3 genderfluid maybe? man/nonbinary. he/they. maybe she with friends

A ship I have with said character: idk nothing. ive seen him w rootspring b4 and i think thats cuter than rootspring and bristlefrost, which isnt hard considering the erins forgot to write bristlefrost even considering liking rootspring romantically and just magically leaping into ‘theyre in love’ and i was like ‘what? since when??’

A BROTP I have with said character: root.. spring.. again.. bc i cant think of any other fucking characters

A NOTP I have with said character: idk. usually here if i dont know i just say ‘anything bad’

A random headcanon: he has lightning strike scarring somewhere on him. also, au where he just ditches the clans bc they do not deserve him

General Opinion over said character: he got hit by fucking LIGHTNING. FOR SOME REASON? DID WE EVER FIND OUT HOW HE SURVIVED THAT.. OR WHY IT HAPPENED.. DID WE AND I JUST FORGOT?? anyway i like him more than the other protags but i feel rly bad for him all the time and wish he could just run away. im sorry ur dad is tigerheartstar man 

leafstar

Sexuality Headcanon: QUEEN OF BISEXUALITY

Gender Headcanon: trans of some sort. transfem nonbinary maybe. she/her or he/him. maybe smth like ae/aem or ze/zir n whatnot

A ship I have with said character: idk i dont rly care lol

A BROTP I have with said character: oh hell if i know. who is she even friends with

A NOTP I have with said character: i dont like echosong i dont know why i just dont like her fbfhbg. i think i got annoyed w her talking abt how molly leaders couldnt have kits or a mate and i was like >:( and i just have never gotten over it even tho shes apparently changed her mind, and also is dead now or something? yes i read wc no i dont know what the hell is going on 

A random headcanon: i think it would be funny if leafstar and spottedleaf didnt like each other. i dont know why i just think spottedleaf is a funny character, like spottedleaf would be like oh dear sweet one... i come bearing a message... and then says a riddle and leafstar is like. can you just be fucking straight with me spottedleaf. spottedleaf is like passive aggressive about it for the next 3 months

General Opinion over said character: i fucking love leafstar i think shes the only leader with a brain. she knows it too. she doesnt understand why starclan forced her to come here and b w these dumbasses when her clan was doing fine alone and was developing its own culture and code n shit!! i hate what she named her kids though. harrybrook is hilariously bad but at least her clan names r far more interesting and funny than bramblestars, his are just Bad

[gabisart]

Art school has given me a block against drawing fan art do you have any tips to help such a block

First of all, I’m sorry you are feeling like this because of art school, but i guess we all have been there at some point hahaha Oh boy, this is going to be long….

I actually know this very well, i kinda stopped drawing about 2 years ago (on paper as i used to), because i was too stressed over school and such. Last year i took a drawing class so i could try to start drawing again and it went pretty bad hahaha. I realized what was blocking me was the feeling of not being taken seriously there, no matter what i did. My feedback was always poor, not because my work was bad but because they (the teachers and colleagues) would just say “oh, it’s nice/pretty/beautiful”. It may sound a bit arrogant, but it’s not. If i’m attending an art couse, i was supposed to learn something, listen to what would make my work better and stuff, and i wasn’t getting any of that. So, i had an awful burnout period.

While i was on vacations and still feeling pretty bad about what happened in that class, i started thinking what art really means to me and why i still make it. I realized that art (to me) is my way to see and understand the world, and this made me feel so much better about my ‘obsessions”, my style, my process of creating art. I also realized i don’t have to show it to others, it’s mine and it’s enough.

All that being said, these are my “tips”:

Try to understand your views on your own art. To learn how to respect and enjoy and appreciate your own pace, your own style, your improvement.

Enjoy the moments while you’re working on something. Sometimes we spend too much energy worrying about the final result and it makes us frustrated how it won’t look like exactly to what we were planning. Many times different outcomes aren’t bad, you can learn a lot with these “surprises” - in bad and good ways hahaha

Don’t take teacher’s opinions as the ultimate truth. They are people just like anyone else and they can be very insensitive and rude or just don’t care about the students at all (yeah it hurts hahaha). Oh, you have the right to disagree with them!!! - or go completly passive aggressive in the next presentation (been there hahaha)

Many times we keep our self esteem too linked to our art. If we get bad results, or bad feedback or some of our work “flop” we feel like we’re not good enough and it’s very discouraging. Take a break, take a look at your old works and see how much you have improved. It’s all part of a bigger journey with lots of ups and downs.

Explore new medias and materials - maybe painting feels tiring now? So why not trying photography? Or writing? Or whatever hahaha go crazy

Buy new materials - it doesnt have to be anything expensive. I bought a new eraser last week and im dying to use it now hahaha (and it’s the same cheap eraser by Pentel i always buy)

Treat youself and your art as you would treat someone’s else. You wouldn’t say somebody’s work is AWFUL UGLY EWWWWW YOU’RE NOT A REAL ARTIST - so why say it to yourself?

Writing my thoughts always helps me to relax and overcome these bad moments, maybe you could give it a try.

Surround yourself with art that inspires you. Even if looks weird to other people hahaha. Once i had a painting project about grieving stages so i spent 2 days listening to The Blackest Day by Lana on loop til i finished it HAHAHAHA and it was amazing

Talking to other students is also a good thing because youre probably learning more from them and their opinions and experiences than from your teacher’s.

Oh, on inspiration…. It’s sound WILD but we may not be aware of how our work can so much to someone else. As an inspiration and how it makes them feel. I’m always !!! when I read some of my fave artists (usually musicians but yeah) talking how bad they can feel about themselves or their work and then get surprised by how many people from all around the world like it.

Take a break and spend some time with no art in mind. There’s always this kind of hush that we GOTTA be productive, GOTTA make art all the time. An artist is not a machine, it’s ok if not everything in your life is art.

TO FINISH (im sorry hahaha) remember that every artist has a different way to deal with it. Maybe what i wrote won’t help you (but i really hope it does), and that’s ok. Just be kind to you and your art, learn how to enjoy your moments of creating and making art more than just struggling for a result and with time you will be more in control of how it works for you.

Trying new subjects and styles is also nice. Maybe doing some studies from artists you like. I always go with Botticelli because i LOVE his lines (Visiting museums and art shows is always refreshing and inspiring)

Best of luck, baby! 💖💖💖💖

[merlinthoughts]

Season 1 Episode 2 - Valiant

- ik for a fact that this one is the episode with the asshhoole. not bc i recognised it from the title but perhaps it was because i recognised it from the title u got me there

- i always go to mr clean too when i want protection, val, ur not alone

- yeah, this is harry potter l ma o

- the next thing u know theres a stone that makes arthur live forever and the snakes start joining into one and growing bigger until a phoenix (im dibbing on kilgie here), pops their corneas out

- DAMN DON'T KILL UR DEALER WHERE U GONNA GET THE NEW SHIT FROM NEXT TIME SMH VALIANT

- okay but who names their son valiant

- he was probably named valerie and didnt like it so he said “woah imma be valiant like courage, thats sick”

- that was probably his superhero persona as a child ngl

- no, shev, no respect for val stop doing this

- merlin in armour, what a fucking bLESiSNG GIVING ME THIS RIGHT ON THE SPOT BBC KNOWS WHATS GOOD

- ok a y but hear me out, merlins a servant. i have not seen any of these servants been asked to train with the royals??? like in the sense where it helps the servant train as well?? and the FIRST thing arthur does with merlin as his servant is train with him. not only is arthur a huge JOCK, he’s not using his manservant properly

- neverfuckingmind “most servants collapse after the first blow”, so it seems to be arthur likes to train with his servants. now that in itself is a question to be asked, but is he the only royal who trains with his servants??? how did this man survive on his own without a personal servant until merlin??? did he have a personal servant??? was it just regular servants?? who are those other servants he trained with??? did arthur just say hey lets go to the field in the morning, put on armour and let’s have a fun time?? UNLESS merlin literally just took someones job away from them kmao

- also my mind went right to the gutter guys, ngl, it sounded like an innuendo. it had me quaking i wish i was one of those servants

- “we all have our duties, even arthur” “it must be so tough for him, all the *hesitates* girl, all the glory”

- so we probably get at least 1 out of every 2 episodes where there’s a scene with merlin dressing arthur in his armour. bring the popcorn, lads.

- MORGANA LOOKING LIKE A FRICKEN SNACK

- the reigning champion is arthur, wonder fucking w h y

- valiant is in fucking mustard, while arthur is fucking ketchup idk why i thought of that but it happened. my literature teacher always told me to look for symbolisms. guess we found one guys.

- merlin after hating on arthur for the past episode is literally just cheering arthur on like a good husband he is

- did ARTHUR JUST SNICKER AT MERLINS “CREEP” LMAO DON'T TRY AND HIDE IT BY HUFFING AT HIM AFTERWARDS YOU FUCKING GOOF

- omg he hid it by telling merlin to do a full novel of chores

- AND MERLIN DOES IT WITH MAGIC A PAIR OF GOOFS

-  “are you using magic again” “no” merlin ffs he just saw you use magic, while the items fell and landed right in front of him while you didn’t move at aLL. they are nOT BLIND

- “very aggressive style” I MEAN SURE UTHER

- valerie be fuckboying morgana lmao with a “i saw you watching” and a, “then i will give everything to win the tournament”

- i wish this show was set in the early 2000s so i can see val in low sweatpants, a backwards cap with gelled spiky hair and cheap neon sunglasses (maybe even some gold teeth just for kicks), while hes trying to rap 50 cents or make a mixtape of brit pop songs. bc yes.

- honestly im loving my 2000 fuckboy au. gonna make an ao3 after this.

- of course merlin would be the one to find out the magic shit in valiants room, it just lures him. AND OF COURSE VALIANT IS THERE

- i'm so fucking glad arthur looks confused as to how merlin did what he asked. when u have this kind of hubby, arthur, its amazing what things he can do.

- i dont know why theres dramatic music as merlin put armour on arthur but im living for it

- “is it my imagination or are you beginning to enjoy yourself?” merlin doesn't know what to say to that bc he’s turning gay and doesn't know if that counts as enjoying oneself when the one you are gay for is the asshole prince

- typically enough, valiant and arthur never fight except for the finale. like with all conveniences in place, youd expect them to have at least fought at some point with as much knights as there to determine the final two but no, just the finale. k.

- this poor fucking purple knighted bloke didn’t need to be fucking demonstrated on, val. like you didn't need to kill him?? that could have blown ur cover

- DID NOBODY SEE THAT??? DID NOBODY SEE THE FUCKING SNAKES???

- oooh merlin found out what happened everyone gonna be fucked. nobody harms arthur is he has something to say about it

- if someone starts off a sentence with “i just saw someones snakes on their shield come alive” nobody would fucking believe you, merls. but given the fact that magic exist… mhh maybe it wouldn’t be too absurd. but ppl apparently are thick as hell

- “why were you in his chambers” well i know how id explain if i was in valiants chambers ;)

- jk i dont fall for this toxic shit

- imagine getting paid as an actor just just lie down there like this poisoned kid. “yeah, id like to audition for ewan’s role???” “why are you lying on the ground?”

- i hate those tropes where it's like “i know how to tell someones bad, here’s proof” and then nobody believes you and tells you you’re lying and should die or whatever but then you kNOW IT'S THE FUCKIN TRUTH BITCH that trope gives me damn anxiety >:((

- yes merlin, fucking slash the shield with your sword. i'm sure that's how it works. im sure it will kill the snakes.

- HOWA RE THE SNAKES ALIVE WITHOUT VAL SAYING “ISHNAHASHAHI”

- i think val would know that you cut off the snake’s head, merls, just saying. ur were the oNLY ONE.

- TELL ARTHUR WHAT??? “I CUT A SNAKE”

- EXACLTY ONG THAT'S WHAT MERLIN FUCKING SAID I WAS RIGHT LMAO

- ARTHUR BELEIVED HIM I'M FUCKING LIVING BUT IK WHAT HAPPENS AND AHH

- uhhh the anxiety is rolling up boys

- ewan is mcfuckingdead

- snake be sliding in like a hoe on a business

- bfehfjdjfskf i hate this part

- arthur's pride, merlin’s pride, fuck me

- i'm not even gonna write this part, it breaks my fragile heart when arthur sees the look of people not believing him, especially his dad, and merlin seeing how arthur doesn't trust him anymore like prepare the eulogies girlies

- okay but if arthur is struck and gaius has the antidote?? arthur aint gonna die technically

- but now val knows merlin knows

- AND MERLIN INTERVENES

- why are royals so bitchy towards servants. like they do their best to help you??? they are loyal to you and are paid there to serve you and are often very kind, generous, passive, understanding people??? yet merlin interrupts uther and he fucking sends him to the pit

- VAL YOU ASS LMAO DON'T HURT MY SON’S PRIDE

- he said allegations like four times, yes uther we know ur vocab is shining with intellect but seriously, there’s other synonyms that could still be acceptable and still sound fancy

- quick search on google bc my mind doesnt roll fast enough: claim, assertion, charge, accusation, declaration, statement, contention, deposition, argument, affirmation. see daddy uther, not hard to look up.

- forget they didnt have internet whoopsies

- :((( arthur doesn't trust merlin anymore

- the husbands FIGHT

- not just a banter petty fight, this is a huge fight

- SACKING MERLIN DON'T FUCKING SACK MERLIN YOU GOOF

- TRUST UR HUBBY

- FUCK

- I'M GONNA CRY AND IT'S ONLY EPISODE TWO

- I'M HAVING EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS CONCERNING MY TWO BOYS

- GUYS IM NOT OKAy

- its been 2 minutes after i wrote that last sentence, and i am now okay

- “a half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole” iconic as hell. so many things could be said about that quote. either for innuendo purposes, love purposes, destiny purposes, how long it took me to say it right, just so many purposes man. it’s just iconic.

- merlin looks absolutely done with kilgaharama’s shit

- “just give me a straight answer” seems like kilgarass here is being too gay for merlin

- gwen already knows merlin’s the heroin of the series, saying everyone knows it's merlin who will save the day. but same tbh

- i dunno if this is like me or not but it says her nickname is gwyn in the subtitles but im typing it as gwen which i thought was how u wrote it, even if her full name is gwynevere but like gwen has a ring to it while gwyn sounds like gwin or smth and i dunno which one is right so ill just leave it alone ahjsjfk

- MORGANA HAS VISIONS WE ALREADY KNOW WHERE THIS GOES SHES MAGIC ISNT SHE HAHAHAHAUHD

- merlin trying one last time to convince his husband not to die, but at least this time arthur knows he’s up for val’s magic and is like “k iloveyou but i have to do this for the country not just bc of pride and thinking val is not magic”

- staring into the fire like he’s hoping it would suck him up into the void, not only is merlin a now confirmed emo, so is fucking arthur it seems. perfect for one another i'm telling you

- eerie music as morgana enters… wha suddenly i can't read

- i thought at first morgana and arthur were gonna end up together cause of the fucking weird tension going on and i was prepared to be disfuckinggusted but no! the show and producers actually put my expectations away and helped me see that it wasn’t going in that direction! thank fucking god! 

- k but arthur looks majestic in his gear im just a huge bi

- “don’t go into my room” he says then gaius peaks in and almost gets mauled by a large chihuahua

- me too val, id step on someone's toes then fuck them up with an undercut. thats the bad bitch way to go. unless it for arthur, then val hahaha you can go fuck yourself

- no one sees mErLin??

- but they now see the snakes smh fakes

- “what are you doing? i didn't summon you” i don't think that will work val cause you didn't say it with a serpent tongue, it has to sound more like “shhashhwhat ahhssare hiisssyou iisshhaadoing?”

- okay but i thought arthur was impaled for a half second until he started to talk then i screamed that he was aight and he would now believe merlin

- uther better give merlin an apology

- arthur just said he wouldnt

- but still uther BETTER APOLOGISE TO FUCKING MERLIN

- “yknow i wish valiant was escorting me” “me too” i thought for a fricken moment arthur wished valiant would have escorted HIM. i'm dying.OMG

- “i wanted to say i made a mistake. it was unfair to sack you.” “don’t worry about it. buy me a drink and we’ll call it even.” DID YOU JUST SAY WHAT I THINK YOU JUST SAID MERLIN YOU SLY DOG OMG

- “i can’t really be seen to be buying drinks for my servant.” so if he wasn’t ur servant?? you’d say yes?? they are so fucking gay i can't anymore

- yeah, i literally fucking can't

[flower-of-the-desert]

2x03 Thoughts

I’ve finally started my rewatch on s02 (lies, I havent watched most of this season before so this is a first viewing) and I think I’m gonna do a post on each episode after seeing it rather than wait to finish the whole season like I did with s01. This is probably how I’ll operate with s03 as well.

Right, so overall I liked this episode quite a bit. It had many moments I totally adored (spoiler: whenever Magnus was on screen and telling dumbass shadowhunters where to shove it) and it introduced my favourite werewolf lady along with the beginning of one of the relationships I find most interesting on the show. So yeah, a pretty good episode all things considered.

Another thing that it managed to do, which I totally didnt expect, was to make me feel bad for Jace. Like I genuinely felt his desperation and pain in this ep and by the end of it I was rooting for people to just cut him a break already. Something that the whole of s01 didnt make me feel. Good job, episode, good job.

I liked the subplot with Raphael and Simon, mostly because it showed once again how much of a good guy Raphael is and how nobody fucking appreciated it (like father, like son). I mean yeah, he did sort of passive-aggressively used Simon’s mom to threaten him into finding Camille but he also brought her to a nice restaurant and made up a totally fake story about where Simon is so she wouldnt worry and drink herself into an early grave. Not to mention he’s been nothing but helpful since the beginning and making sure these idiots (read Simon) dont get themselves killed and in return got blamed for other people’s messes and blackmailed into doing Clary’s bidding (which may I add, resulted in Camille escaping and landing them in this mess in the first place) so yeah. Stop being dicks to Rapahel 2k18.

Jocelyn gettng told off at every turn was also very nice to see. First by Magnus and then by Jace (who had moooore than enough reason to tell mommy dearest where to shove it). And in general I wish the show would allow more shadowhunters to be called out like that because that was so fucking real and well-deserved?? It left me 😍 for a good 10mins afterwards.

Speaking of the love of my li- I mean Magnus, as usual he was the best part of the episode (you might as well get used to it, he will always be the best part of any episode fro me). Like I said, I loved seeing him going off on those idiots who pissed him off and seeing his devotion and concern for Alec was just heartbreaking (especially when nothing he tried worked in any way). Seeing him lose his cool and lash out was also interesting and my god, the way he dealt with Raj - gggaaah, that was so hot, I cant handle it.

And since we are on the subject, what IS that guy’s deal? I mean he seemed weirdly unconcerned that a fellow shadowhunter was about to die, even a bit gleeful? Does he have some kind of grudge against Alec? Now that I think about it, he was the guy who Izzy attacked to save Meliorn in s01, right? Maybe because of that? Anyway, I’m adding that to his incredible stupidity in deciding it’s a good idea to piss off the High Warlock of Brooklyn.

The last bit that I found interesting was the flashback with Izzy and Alec’s convo about being parabatai with Jace. I found that rather frustrating to be honest because of the implications it seems to give off. Like Alec tells her he cant go through with the ritual and Izzy realises that he’s in love with Jace... and then proceeds to list Alec’s good qualities and telling him he’ll find someone to love him completely someday. Which is nice and all, I guess, but doesnt really follow logically from the previous bit? Like what does Alec getting a new love interest at some point in the distant future have to do with his feelings for Jace now? That doesnt help him with his problem right now! I guess the point she was trying to make was that there are plenty of other guys he can fall in love with later on but he might never find another parabatai again which ok, fair enough. But the implication it gives off that I mentioned really annoyed me is that it treats Alec’s already existing feelings for Jace as less important than some hypotetical feelings he might develop for another person in the future. Which is bullshit. I guess this is the start of the show trying to retcon that Alec was never ~reeeaaally~ in love with Jace and to downplay those feelings as compared to whatever he has with Magnus (kind of hard to do when you keep writing Alec the way you are).

And onto the most annoying (and telling) part of the M@lec subplot so far - the kiss. *sigh* I dont even want to explain my issues with it. Do I need to? Like there cant be someone out there who sees this as a positive moment for the ship, right? I mean if true love’s kiss doesnt bloody work for your couple, then... what else is there to say? Yes, I know it wasnt as simple as that, parabatai blah blah but like come on. Do we really believe that if the writers really wanted to portray M@lec as this epic love story like fandom thinks, they wouldnt have found a way for the kiss to work? Or just did it anyway even if it made no sense at all logically? The fact that Magnus’selfless act of love didnt work but Jace’s did... that just says all there is to say, I think. And dont even get me started on the way it was shot with the literal darkness on screen that made sure there was nothing to see. Just uurh.

Other highlights include:

“Alec is like this because he tried to help me find Clary” - no, he fucking didnt, you lying manipulative woman

“The Clave can be reasoned with, werewolves cant” - ahahahahaAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH

“Our side doesnt kill werewolves” - see above^^ reaction

“I dont like to be rushed” - HOT DAMN

“My phone died, amongst other things” - aah, vampire humour