#also i was absolutely not a fan of what they did with lady silence in the show

[stevethehairington]

finished the terror show! and i gotta say — probably not a surprise but — i liked the book better. tbh i don't think the show was long enough. like the book was SO long and despite the slow moving pace it had SO much packed into it, and i think because the show was only 10 episodes it ended up having to smush a bunch of things together and skip out of others and that totally took away from it. don't get me wrong, it's a decent show! but i think it had the potential to be even better if they'd gotten to like, take the time to faithfully adapt the book.

also there was not enough tuunbaq!!!

[inkwolvesandcoffee]

First Times (Poly Relationship w/ John & Ghost Headcanons)

I spent the morning exploring Hackney, which is rich in breweries. While wandering about, I got to thinking, what if…

John starts working at a brewery when he retires from the army?

OR!

He starts a micro brewery/pub with Simon, who retires around the same time.

🍺 The two men set to work immediately to acquire the proper licenses and a premise. Fortunately for the both of them, they’re quite handy and so know how to create a lovely, albeit very manly, space without too much interference from contractors. After all, why hire others for work you can do yourself?

🍺 Honestly, the business is a dream come true for John. Owning a micro brewery was his Plan B should things not work out with the army. However, it’s because of his former employment, he’s become a better business owner. It’s through the development of his leadership and risk-assessment skills he managed to secure the rank of captain.

🍺 For Simon, the brewery is an unexpected ambition, a new dream to follow. While he lets John do most of the marketing (because Simon can’t be arsed with social media… being social in general), he’s mostly pre-occupied with the creation of new and improvement of the already existing craft beers.

🍺 The business steadily grows as word gets about town. Soon, it’s not only the local Hackney residents who pop by, but also people from other boroughs.

🍺 Including you.

🍺 Come from Inner London, the people of the area find you somewhat of a posh puppy, a bit of a toff. It’s this view of you which makes them wonder what on Earth you’re doing in East London, this artsy and not as affluent part of the city.

🍺 Nevertheless, you’re a sight for sore eyes if you ask Simon, who’s your old neighbour back from the few years you lived in Manchester after moving there with your parents.

🍺 Though gruff and distant in the beginning, Simon gradually warmed up to you. Despite never opening up emotionally, you two did develop a strong amiable bond. Maybe because you were the only one to greet him on the street, to ask about his career after catching a glimpse of the dog tag around his neck, to welcome him back each time he was deployed.

🍺 To show sincere interest in him.

🍺 Your parents weren’t a fan of you socializing with the giant in the skull balaclava, but they never told you off for it since you two always seemed to have a good time. Moreover, they rarely saw you smile unless you were with him. So they let it slide, prioritizing your happiness over their prejudice.

🍺 It was only in the spring before you moved without telling him where to and he was deployed yet again, Simon realized he had feelings for you. Nonetheless, he put them aside or, rather, suppressed them until they numbed. He had nothing to offer, fifteen years your elder and terribly haunted.

🍺 So imagine his surprise and absolute delight when you stand in front of him, prettier than he can remember. “Been a while, hasn’t it?”

🍺 “Y/N,” it’s the only thing he can say, finally out loud after years of uttering it in silence.

🍺 “Who’s this fair lady?” John slides up next to Simon, arms crossed as he takes you in. His sea blue eyes darken when they meet yours. “How can we help, miss?”

🍺 The way he practically purrs the words sends a pleasant shiver down your spine. Yet, you conceal the effect he has on you behind a steady voice. “I saw the notice on the window, about the open position. Has it been filled in the meanwhile or can I still apply?”

🍺 “She’s a good one, John. Hardworking, trustworthy, kind. Fast learner too,” Simon says pensively.

🍺 “Got experience in the field?” John asks.

🍺 “Studied psychology, during which I mostly focused on the effect of marketing on the human psyche. Also run a food blog and Instagram”

🍺 “Thank Simon properly before you leave. I trust his judgment and seeing he knows you best, I’ll take his word for it.” He slaps his business partner on the shoulder. “Drop by tomorrow and we’ll discuss your contract. I’m looking forward to working with you…”

🍺 “Y/N.”

🍺 “Y/N...” John repeats thoughtfully. Then he hums and heads off.

🍺 Thus begins a series of firsts and connections as you settle down in Hackney.

🍺 Over the course of a few weeks, the locals come to see you as one of their own as you show them you simply aren’t some girl with rich parents, a spoiled princess, but a young woman trying to make a life for herself with her own hard-earned money via helping at the counter and striking up conversations.

🍺 John and you grow closer too. He admires and respects your eye for detail and aesthetics, though sometimes he feels a little awkward when you’re trying to direct him for the occasional TikTok. Nevertheless, it’s your creativity that keeps drawing him in, igniting the need to keep getting closer to you. What also helps is you bringing him coffee or reminding him to take breaks (both with a kiss on the cheek later down the line).

🍺 Loves to review the content you create together, especially when you’re in his lap while doing so.

🍺 On your mutual days off, John drags you all over London to visit bakeries and cafés. Never had you thought him a foodie, though it’s a pleasant discovery since there’s always something new to experience on the food scene. Moreover, he loves helping you out with your own blog, not just the one you created for the brewery.

🍺 These days, you’re teaching him photography and are taking baking classes together. Although, you might as well go on your own to the latter because he’s a terrible baker (unlike Simon, who’s self-taught and surprisingly good, like, sale-appropriate why-doesn’t-he-have-at-least-a-micro-bakery good).

🍺 Your bond with Simon mostly rekindles via being his guinea pig. He knows how brutally honest you can be in your feedback, which he thoroughly appreciates. Outside work, the two of you frequent bookshops, have picnics in the major parks in London, and visit the city’s oldest cemeteries. The latter is a bit of a morbid idea of a nice outing, but you appreciate the silence and romantic sense of decay in the air.

🍺 It isn’t long before you take up residence in the apartment the two men share, which leaves the other residents of the building wondering about your relationships to one another. Although, they can guess at the nature of it seeing the “noise” at night. As I said, lots of first including a relationship with two men older than you.

🍺 But aside from the plethora of sensual moments, there are also plenty of tender (and domestic) firsts. For example, Simon accompanies you to your first tattoo appointment. When, the next day, you’re struck by tattoo flu, he takes care of you. Of course John doesn’t force you to come to work nor Simon for that matter, who you clearly need at the moment (despite claiming otherwise). Henceforth, you’re both granted PTO until you’re back on your feet.

🍺 Speaking of the former-captain, John is your very first kiss. You and him went out for pizza (Simon preferring to stay home and read). On the way to Hackney Wick, beneath a bridge heavily decorated with graffiti and sheltering a few barges, he put his hands on your cheeks and crashed his lips into yours. He tasted of tobacco and white wine, laced with the sweetness of tomatoes and basil. That night, he made love to you.

🍺 Another first.

🍺 Simon prepared breakfast the next morning, serving food to ensure John and you wouldn’t succumb to exhaustion later in the day. Nor him, for that matter, because while he doesn’t get jealous and loves sharing you with his best friend, he sometimes wishes you wouldn’t go at it till early in the morning when the next day is an ordinary work day.

🍺 You’re there for them when either of them suffers from night terrors or combat stress. Simon is more prone to the former, whereas John is to the latter.

🍺 You accompany Simon to therapy too after he’s been diagnosed with PTSD. At first he didn’t want to go, refused it even, until he finally relented after another episode of flashbacks and coming to his senses while shaking in your arms.

🍺 Life with John and Simon isn’t always easy nor romantic.

🍺 But bloody hell, do they make it better.

[1d1195]

Screens II

Read the first part here: Screens

Another thank you to my 🪁-anon. Without you and your kind request, this story would not exist. I hope you enjoy this part as much as possible. Thank you to the following anon's for their support, I don't have names or emoji's for you but here are the kind messages I've received patiently waiting for a part 2: one and only Screens fan, #1 Screens fan, and this one that sobbed while trying to finish reading it. I did not mean to exclude anyone, I typed Screens into my blog's search bar to gather this information.

Finally, this anon provided a good chunk of the inspiration.

I hope you all enjoy it. I wrote it in a sense in a series of flashbacks and you will see this ◊ to indicate the difference in flashback scenes vs. my standard * to indicate a bit of time has passed.

"Okay on with it, lady. You talk to much." --Everyone reading this (probably).

Harry wasn’t so distracted by how pretty she looked with hair and paint falling across her pretty skin and over her beautiful face that he missed her saying the word ‘if.’ A hopeful sign that she believed in a miracle even if she was too scared to say so herself on any given day. Part of him also noted and hated the idea of her finding an apartment without him; even after a mere nine months of being in absolute love with her. He wished he had asked her to move in right then.

December | Holiday Break | 8:30 AM

Harry was extremely mindful of announcing his presence around her because he hated how jumpy she got when anyone else spooked her because she didn’t always see them coming around the corner or something. He especially did so in the quiet of the morning or the stillness of the evening. “Angel?” He called into his apartment. It was chilly on their first day of holiday break from work. Harry wanted her to stay the whole week with him. She couldn’t deny she didn’t want the same thing. He ventured into the winter air and returned with hot coffee, foam on top just as she liked.

They’d been together, officially, for a little over a year. But having known her a bit for the better part of a decade, it was easier than he ever thought to be in a relationship with her and he wished that he had thought of it long before last November. “Mm,” she hummed barely loud enough for him to hear as he approached his bedroom. “M’sleeping,” she mumbled against the pillow as he made his way across the room.

He chuckled quietly and set the coffees on his nightstand before slipping back under the covers with her. She rolled herself on top of him, legs on either side of his hips and her face pressed against the front of his shoulder. She was scrunched against him like a little ball. “Don’t move.”

He wouldn’t have if someone tried to force him to move. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the side of her head. “Coffee’ll get cold,” he mumbled, rubbing his fingers against the back of her head. She sighed but said nothing. “C’mon, kitten. Y’told me t’not let y’sleep late,” he cooed and kissed her again.

“I lied,” she murmured. He chuckled. “M’too heavy, that’s it, isn’t it? Want me off you?” He rolled his eyes and squeezed her tight against him.

“No, y’silly thing.” She lifted her head up and hovered above him for a moment. She didn’t speak but she lightly drew her finger over his features. He watched as her eyes squinted, sliding over the trail of her finger in silence. She did this at least once a week. Usually when they saw one another on the weekends because they had more time than their Thursday night ritual. “What are y’doing?” He asked her.

Her cheeks reddened and she shook her head. She didn’t say and Harry let it drop. He always let it drop when he asked. Part of him thought nothing of it, surely it was for a portrait—a painting or a drawing she was working on. She had seen her do it with a rose, tracing the thorns carefully; or the arm of a park bench, admiring how it looked in the afternoon light.

Nonetheless, he enjoyed the way her fingers felt on his skin. It was one of the many things she taught him: using his sense of touch so much more.

Carefully he tightened his grip on her as he rolled the pair of them onto their sides to face one another. He brought his hand to her face and gently brushed his thumb across her lips and then traced his finger over her brow line, over the bridge of her nose, before settling his hand firmly against her cheek. “When’s your appointment?” He asked.

She sighed and shook her head. “Noon,” she mumbled. He gave her body a gentle squeeze as he held her.

“It’ll be alright, kitten.”

“I can’t teach if I can’t see,” she reminded him. “I’m sitting right in front of you, and I can hardly see you,” she whispered quietly.

He frowned and reached behind her for her glasses on the other little table beside his bed. He slid them into place, mindful to not catch her ear or pull too hard against her hair. He smiled at her. It made her stomach flip because Harry was by far the most beautiful person she had ever met. “I love your glasses,” he whispered. She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“I look like a librarian.”

“The sexiest librarian ’ve ever laid eyes on,” he promised and ignored her snort. “Not only do they help y’see, but they help me see. S’like they magnify your eyes. Swear I can see everything you’re hiding in that beautiful brain of yours,” he murmured and pressed a kiss to her forehead, right between the rim of the glasses hovering over her eyes.

“They look like coke bottles.”

He shook his head. “I think you’re gorgeous,” he promised and pulled them down slightly and pressed a kiss to each of her eyelids. Silently he hoped and prayed to whatever god was out there that her appointment would give her good news and make the ache in her mind and heart lessen just a bit. He didn’t care if she needed glasses by any means or if her eyesight got worse. None of that mattered to him at all. He just wanted her to be a little happier than she was before.

*

Over the past year, he had seen so many stages of her grief. He saw the anger she felt when she missed a step and dropped her food outside the restaurant causing a mess all over her shoes and the entry way. It made her eyes water as she asked the hostess if she could have some towels to clean it up so no one would slip on their way out. Harry helped her clean it up and even placed the quickest to go order ever made so she could have extra for lunch the following day and promised her it was no big deal that she spilled.

 He watched her sadness as she couldn’t see things in plain sight—like the ever-hiding remote always evading her vision. Or when she accidentally put cinnamon in her pasta dish because she swore it was paprika.

The pain that puckered her eyebrows together all because her glasses and the screens at work bothered her so much.

Harry begged her so plainly to ask him for help. He had the phone pressed to his ear as he laid his head back against the sofa. Her voice made his stomach knot in the best way—she made him weak in the knees and the only thing he regretted about dating her was not doing it sooner. “I’ll bother you,” she whispered into the phone.

“Kitten, of course not.”

“If you’re hanging out with friends, and you need to come get me because it’s raining at night...and I can’t drive myself home?”

“Then I’ll say, ‘sorry lads, m’princess needs me.’ If they have a problem with that, s’on them,” he said simply with a shrug.

She released a quiet giggle despite how much she didn’t want to. “You’re much nicer to me than anyone I’ve ever known.”

◊

But she wasn’t always so down about it. Sometimes she had a really good sense of humor about it. Harry didn’t love it all that much though. It hurt him to hear her joke about something he knew in his heart hurt her quite a bit. But he was glad she could be in good spirits about it.

“Listen,” she said almost a month after their first kiss. “You’d be surprised how often someone says, ‘what are you blind?’ You’re just going to have to roll with it. It’s okay. I’ve heard it a lot and I say it to myself sometimes. I’ve been working on new comebacks but so far ‘legally, no; spiritually yes,’ is my favorite.”

Harry felt a wave of awkwardness wash over him, but she just continued to smile this gorgeous, bright smile that he had no choice but to let her make her joke.

And if he did say ‘What are you, blind?’ a few days later, well... at least she had warned him.

◊

Harry read to her sometimes. It made her feel like a little kid, but he didn’t dwell on it. He acted as if it was completely normal for a boyfriend to read out loud like a kindergarten teacher to his girlfriend. She snuggled up to him in his lap and glanced at the pages every so often as he held the book in front of them. She had to be careful though because Harry’s voice was so soothing and even though she loved to hear him talk, there had been many chapters she missed because he accidentally put her to sleep with his melodic voice.

◊

Sleeping together in the quiet parts of the night were some of his favorite times. Whether something more intimate happened between them or not. Night was when he felt most attuned to her. Harry couldn’t see any more than she could. Touching her, feeling the goosebumps he left in the wake of his fingertips against her skin made him much more aware of how touch could bring him to his knees for her. He also paid close attention to her near silent, soft whines of pleasure or how her laugh seemed so much brighter in the dark.

But listening to her speak at night might have been one of his most favorite things. “Why did y’leave me after that party?” He whispered. It bothered him a bit when they first started dating.

Her face was pressed to his chest, her finger moving over his face as it always did, this time focusing on the shape of his jaw, outlining the scruffy remnants of hair growth since he last shaved. “Why would you want to be with the near-blind girl?” She shrugged.

It took him no time at all to answer. “Cause she’s perfect.” She smiled and pressed a kiss almost touching the cross necklace that dangled between the sparrows on his chest.

She never asked him again if it mattered to him if she’d go totally blind. Not since she asked after their first kiss last November. He said it all right then at that moment. She believed him so easily because no, she hadn’t ever thought about it. There wasn’t a time when she thought that maybe she wouldn’t go blind. So, for Harry to believe it was possible was more than enough.

◊

Harry worried about her a lot more than most people did a lot of the time. More than her family who were so used to her poor sight it didn’t even phase them when she handed them the wrong cups or passed along the wrong items because they weren’t clear enough about where they were. More than strangers who would roll their eyes at her when she bumped into them on public transport.

But mostly herself because while she had been living with bad eyes for so long, it took Harry some getting used to the ins and outs of the harder things she had to do. One day they painted two canvases together, spinning them back and forth between them for five minutes creating fun little landscapes that didn’t make any sense. “Would y’ever want a seeing eye dog?” He asked. Harry was a terrible painter, but he’d do anything to spend time with her doing her favorite things. “Bet we could get you a really cute pup,” he smiled.

She smirked so cutely, and she wiped her hand across her forehead to get a piece of hair out of her eyes. In doing so, she painted a stripe of pink paint across her forehead, making his heart feel so jumpy with love for her. “Maybe if I went totally blind,” she shrugged. “Would need to find an apartment that allows a cute dog too,” she reminded him. As if a seeing-eye dog wasn’t an exception to most places.

Harry wasn’t so distracted by how pretty she looked with hair and paint falling across her pretty skin and over her beautiful face that he missed her saying the word ‘if.’ A hopeful sign that she believed in a miracle even if she was too scared to say so herself on any given day. Part of him also noted and hated the idea of her finding an apartment without him; even after a mere nine months of being in absolute love with her. He wished he had asked her to move in right then.

◊

Loving one another didn’t come without some hardships either.

Once more she found herself bumping into someone. Harry had gone ahead to the car to get to her door and naturally the moment he left her side she was nearly falling flat on her bum. However, the person bumping into her was quick, caught her around the waist before she hit the ground. “Oh, easy love. You alright?”

“I’m so sorry,” she said quickly.

“Hardly your fault, love. Don’t be sorry,” he smirked. “S’easy to fall for me,” he winked at her.

She gaped in surprise. Harry wasn’t surprised in the slightest because she was by far the most adorable person on the planet let alone that street. “Excuse me,” Harry said flatly. Harry eyed the arm around her waist that didn’t belong to her or himself, and the man turned his attention to Harry.

“Oh, of course you’re taken...Someone as beautiful as you would have to be,” he released his grip from her. “Sorry, mate,” he said to Harry and then winked at the beautiful girl.

Harry grabbed her hand and marched quickly toward his car without so much as another glance in his direction. “Harry,” she whined as he tugged her. He wasn’t rough, exactly. She didn’t think it was possible for him to be rough with her even when he was grumpy. Her mind flashed to that very first day when he looked at her with so much annoyance for getting food all over his clothes and then separating him from his friends.

Harry often got so protective of her that it came across as overbearing and every so often, he couldn’t help but feel jealous when someone else helped her. She had done so much on her own for so long the idea that she didn’t need him or worse, needed someone else made him so utterly sad that he had a hard time expressing how upset it made him. “M’sorry,” he whispered.

“Sorry? Why?”

“Jus’...I get so sad when other people help you,” he frowned. She turned toward him in her seat. “Not because I don’t want them t’help you. But because...I jus’ like helping you. Makes me think y’don’t really need me,” he mumbled. “I know I wasn’t always...so outwardly nice t’you. Think I was a bit of a dick,” he said quietly. “Think it would make a lot of sense if y’found...someone that swept y’off your feet right away.”

She reached out and cupped the side of his face and leaned forward to kiss him on the lips briefly. “I need you, always. More than that...I want you,” she said softly. Harry felt like a lovesick teenager at her words. Wanting him really was so much better than needing him. Because she didn’t. She was wonderfully independent and had done so much on her own for so long, she really didn’t need him. But wanting him around? Harry loved her so much he wondered how he ever could have been without her. “So much it feels like I need you.”

He leaned forward to steal another kiss and she smiled, her glasses bumping his forehead a bit. “I love you,” he promised.

She smiled. “Would you like to know when I fell in love with you?” She asked.

He blinked at her response. “Well, sure,” he nodded.

“When you held my hand at the party and walked me to your room...it was like...I don’t know, I felt like a princess,” she told him. “You totally saved me. I had no plan. No escape. I just didn’t want to bother anyone.”

He smiled at the memory. “I loved sleeping with you,” he winked. She pushed him gently and shook her head. “No really, y’looked so cute in m’clothes. Wanted you t’stay in my bed forever.”

“I bet you did,” she mumbled.

“Ha-ha,” he rolled his eyes. “Never would have thought your cute mind would constantly sit in a gutter, kitten. Yes, of course I wanted that,” he grumbled making her laugh. “Really I jus’ wanted you.”

“You want me too?” She wrinkled her nose making her eyes crinkle at the corners and Harry turned fully to hold her face between his hands. He leaned in to brush his lips over hers like he did the first time he kissed her. She gave the same little whine she did. It went right through his heart.

“What gave it away?” He mumbled against her lips.

◊

“What if it’s hereditary?” She whispered in the dark.

Harry turned to face her even though he couldn’t see anything in the darkened room. He could feel her breath and the anxiety in her voice was so palpable he could feel her voice. “Then...who better to help them than you?”

She shook her head. “I wouldn’t wish this on the people that made fun of me,” she mumbled. “I can’t imagine a child like me,” she admitted quietly. “It was so hard.”

Harry frowned and inched closer to her. His nose bumped into hers, he brought his hand up to her cheek. What he said next, he meant whether he was part of the future or not. With everything in him, it was one of the truest things he ever told her. “I can’t think of a luckier child than one like you, m’love.”

◊

It wasn’t always about her eyes. There were pictures they took and vacations they enjoyed. He loved her family and how they made him feel like he was part of her holiday traditions. Gemma and his mum adored her and asked about her more than they asked about Harry.

She had the best jokes from books she read. Her art was beautiful and taking walks through the park with her were some of his favorite dates he’d ever been on.

It was five months in when he told her he loved her for the first time. “You are the most beautiful woman I know,” he said. She smiled at him with the lightest touch of pink painting her cheeks. She made him stop and proceeded to lie in the middle of the sidewalk to capture a picture of the sky between the branches of a tree on the unseasonably warm April day. Harry took his own picture of her doing just that. “See?” He asked, showing her the picture he took.

She looked at the picture momentarily and then back at him. “You think I’m beautiful?”

“Of course, kitten,” he rolled his eyes. “Inside and out; the kindness and warmth you have inside you is probably jus’ a fraction of the beauty y’display outwardly for someone like me that falls in love with you every time y’smile,” he grabbed her hand continued walking down the street enjoying the spring air. She was quiet for the length of the road and when they stopped to wait for the light to change at the crosswalk, she looked up at him at her side.

“You’re in love with me?” She asked.

He blinked in surprise, feeling a bit tongue tied. He chuckled awkwardly as he glanced at her. “Uh...sorry... I should have waited...said that in the privacy of your apartment...or mine, or something. Not in the middle of a busy street.”

She smiled and shook her head at him. “I love you, too.”

The light changed and back again, but neither of them noticed because he was too busy kissing her while the crowd moved around them.

◊

Sometimes she got so angry and frustrated with herself that she would accidentally take it out on Harry. Like the time she didn’t see how close her fingers were to the knife and nicked herself good. Not enough to need stitches or even a trip to the minute clinic, but enough to make Harry ooh and ahh over her. “Angel,” he murmured after she ripped her hand away from him.

“Stop,” she sniffed. She wasn’t in pain—at least not from her little wound she inflicted upon herself. “Just stop.”

He frowned and pressed his lips together trying not to overwhelm her with his worry. In those moments, he stood waiting patiently. Eventually she would say sorry, and he would shake his head. “You don’t have t’apologize t’me ever, m’love...not ‘bout this.”

He knew this was hard for her. Every time she hurt herself or dropped something, it was a reminder that her eyes weren’t working the way they were supposed to. The last thing he wanted was her spiraling and worrying about what would come next.

But he wanted her to know that whatever it was, he would be right beside her. Seeing for her even if she couldn’t.

*

December | Holiday Break | Lunch time

She never let Harry go into her appointments with her. However, he made sure he was the first one to meet her at the door right outside the office because her eyes were almost always dilated. It amplified how difficult it was for her to see where she was going. After nearly bumping into someone as she exited, she apologized awkwardly. Almost instantly, Harry was there looping her arm through his elbow. “Hey beautiful,” he said kissing the top of her head. He didn’t say anything else. Didn’t ask about the appointment. He knew better. She would say something if needed.

He opened her car door, helping her into the seat and placed sunglasses over her eyes to protect her widened pupils. He kissed the space where her forehead met her hairline and closed her safely in the car. Once inside the car himself, he drove off, planning to get her more coffee because she hated these appointments and Harry wanted to treat her for being brave even when she didn’t want to be. She leaned against the window and didn’t speak. Harry placed a hand on her leg, and she wrapped her fingers around his. He gave her a squeeze and continued driving silently.

“They have a new... cutting edge surgery they want me to try,” she whispered to the window.

He squeezed her hand again, glanced long enough to see her contemplative reflection in the glass. “How d’you feel about that?” He asked.

“Nervous.”

He smiled weakly. He wished he could look at her, but he knew talking about it was easier when he wasn’t looking at her—even if she couldn’t fully see him. Harry ordered at the drive through and then continued driving to a little spot by a lake. It was still so chilly outside—even at the warmest part of the day. There was steam coming off the water from the warmth of the sun beating off it. She took a picture of it on her phone and Harry knew the look of concentration on her face was trying to figure out how to recreate the steam in a painting.

They were sitting on the hood of his car. It was still warm from the engine and Harry had a blanket laid over their laps. She leaned back against the windshield holding the coffee cup upright to keep her hands warm. Harry turned to his side to look at her. He brought his hand to push her hair away from her forehead and he traced along her hairline. “Do y’want surgery?”

She sighed. “I wanna be able to see.”

He smiled gently and gave her cheek a kiss. “Will it...get worse? If y’try it?”

She shook her head. “No more than the risk of a regular surgery. It won’t be perfect. I’d still need glasses. I’ll still have trouble seeing. But...I won’t go blind. It’ll either stop it from getting worse or it won’t work,” she shrugged.

“Sounds like you have nothing t’lose then, angel,” he murmured.

She was quiet for a second. “I trace your face so much because I worry, I’ll never see it again,” she whispered. Harry was speechless...all those times he asked her what she was doing... He never thought that was her reason. “I want it to be muscle memory,” she explained. “So... if my eyes...if I can’t see anymore...I hope I can sculpt it from memory,” she whispered.

That beautiful word ‘if’ made his heart so full of love for her.

But, by far that was the most...genuine thing anyone had ever said to him. “God, I wish I dated you so much earlier,” he mumbled and leaned down to kiss her as deeply as he could manage while the cold December air cooled her coffee down once more while he gently traced his tongue along her lower lip.

Her cheeks turned this beautiful shade of red that Harry loved so much. The sunglasses over her eyes hid so much from him. He meant every word earlier. He loved her glasses so much, if only allowing him to see deeper into her soul. “If...it works though...” she whispered after a minute of kissing. He didn’t say anything because he sensed there was more, and she swallowed hard. “I’m scared I won’t be me...I feel like my whole life has been put on hold because of my eyes. I don’t know if I know how to live without... thinking about them.”

“Then we’ll learn t’live without thinking ‘bout them,” he shrugged reaching for a piece of her hair and stroking it like a paint brush across her face. “You’re more than your eyes, kitten.”

Her heart felt so warm at his words. Harry always made the well-being of her eyes an effort for the two of them. It wasn’t a battle she faced alone. Harry was there the whole time encouraging her, helping her, keeping a literal eye on things for her when she couldn’t. It didn’t bother him when she cried about not seeing something. When she bumped into walls or doors, he never said anything other than to make sure she was alright. If she dropped something and made a mess, he simply helped her clean it up. Harry was her personal chauffeur, and he didn’t care at all.

“To be fair m’love, I would be driving y’around anyway because you’re a lady and I adore you and m’mum taught me t’hold car doors open for the women I adore. And I’d rather drive and keep y’safe... plus you’re a terrible driver even when y’can see. S’a danger to you, me, and everyone else on the road.”

“We wouldn’t...” she whispered quietly and shook her head, looking away from him.

“Wouldn’t what, m’love?” He murmured looking at her with a frown on his lips. Worry etched between his eyes.

“We wouldn’t...be in love...if it weren’t for the fact I can’t see,” she reminded him and turned to look back at his expectant face waiting for her to complete her thought. “I wouldn’t have spilled food on you. You wouldn’t have sat up front and asked if I couldn’t see. There wouldn’t have been writing notes for me or making sure I was okay at that party or at the pub...”

“Kitten, I learned t’read Braille for you. I don’t care if y’can see or not. I would do anything for you. I may have fallen for you because you couldn’t see but I don’t stay because of it. I stay because I adore you.”

“What?” She whispered breathlessly. She sat up fully while Harry stayed lying flat against the windshield. “You learned...you did what?”

He shrugged. “M’probably not very good at it. But I don’t know...thought if it came down to it, if it got worse and you were sad...I’d want t’help.”

Harry saw the tear slip down her cheek past her sunglasses. “Harry Styles,” she practically sighed. “You are...I don’t know...”

“The love of your life, maybe?” He smiled cutely and reached up to rub the tear from her cheek.

For the second time in her life, she had so much hope swelling in her heart. Harry, the cause of it once more. “And hopefully every life I’ve ever have and ever will live.”

--

general taglist: @justlemmeadoreyou @daydreamingofmatilda @tiredinwinter

I'm sorry if I missed anyone in the taglist. Please let me know if you'd like to join, if it didn't work, if you no longer want to be included, etc. :)

[muchmoreclever]

so... this is my first time writing smut. I'm very nervous about it so, apologies if it absolutely sucks. also, there is such a lack of marauders ladies smut so obviously i had to remedy this.

╔══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╗

words: 4194

warnings: knives, blood, oral (f. rec), marking, biting, hair pulling, aftercare.

It's late. Far later than she should be awake, and yet here she is. She had been sleeping peacefully, dreams of something warm and bright, the smell of chestnut and vanilla still lingering in her nose, when something had startled her awake.

Her first thought is someone is breaking in. She doesn't exactly live in the best part of town, and it wouldn't be the first time someone around her was robbed. Her second thought is if she should call the police, it seems the logical thing to do when one’s home is being burgled. Just as she's reaching for her phone she hears something that sounds familiar to her flatmate's voice–no, yeah that is definitely Lily. She’s humming something. So… they're not getting robbed then? Surely if Lily is out there humming about, nothing out of the ordinary can be happening.

Mary pushes back the blankets on her bed, sliding her legs over the side and walking tentatively to her locked bedroom door. With bated breath, she unlocks the door. In the silence of the room, the click sounds far too loud. She stands there for a moment with her hand on the doorknob, her heartbeat hammering away at her chest despite the fact she knows nothing can be wrong, there's just something in the air making the hair on the back of her neck stand up. In the purely animal part of her brain, she almost feels like prey.

When she pushes through the ridiculous fear, and steps into the hallway she can see a light on in the kitchen. The small little nightlight they had plugged in directly after Lily moved in, complaining of a fear of the dark. It's a warm sort of lighting that only casts over half the room, and barely makes things recognisable.

Mary walks slowly toward the light, her bare feet freezing on the cold hardwood. When she makes it to the kitchen she can just see the outline of Lily by the sink, her eyes still adjusting to the darkness. Lily has something in her hands, and her humming has become louder now, the song recognisable, it's a song she never even heard Lily listen to before, who’d of thought she was a fan of Nelly Furtado?

“Lily?” Mary hesitantly asks, Lily's humming cuts off and her body straightens, but she keeps her back to Mary.

“Did I wake you?” Lily asks, “I didn't mean to, was just… Getting a snack.”

There’s something in the way Lily says the last word, it has weight to it, but Mary couldn't think of a single reason as to why. She steps further into their tiny kitchen, barely a few steps away from Lily, and reaches into one of the cupboards, pulling down a bowl.

"Do you want me to make you something?” Mary asks, and it's silent for a beat too long, “Lily?”

Something is dripping, in the silence Mary can now hear it. For a moment she thinks it's the sink, that Lily left it on or maybe it has a leak but as her eyes travel to it, it's dry as a desert. Her eyes search for the source of the sound, travelling down from the sink to the countertops, and from the countertops to Lily's hands, which are, in fact, dripping . At first, she isn't really sure what it is, only that the parts of Lily she can see are covered in it. 

“Oh my god–Lily?” She breathes, “Are you alright? You're blee–?”

“Are you scared?” 

Yes. Especially now.

Because Lily has turned around, all innocently doe-eyed and covered in blood. And Mary is no stranger to blood, she's been an ER nurse for nearly three years now, and she sees blood every fucking day of her life. Pints of the stuff, all poured out onto herself and other people, she knows inhumane amounts of blood–but somehow this is more. It's everywhere–in her hair, arms, her mouth. Yes, her mouth thats where it's the worst. It’s caked around her lips and her chin, and neck, as if she had been–

As if she had been eating it.

Mary is a logical girl, there has to be a logical answer to this. She just can't think of one.

“I didn't mean to scare you,” Lily says, and she brings her hands up, for a moment Mary tenses, as if Lily is going to reach for her, but no. She simply is holding an apple and a knife, she continues talking as she casually cuts the apple, as if she and it aren't slathered in blood. “I thought you were working, or I would've been quieter.”

Mary can't say a word, her mouth has gone completely dry and her heart is once again working double time. She watches as Lily cuts into her apple, her crimson hands a stark contrast to the slick silver of the blade, she watches as those same hands take the apple slice and slowly pop it onto her tongue, she seems to almost hesitate for a moment, her mouth hanging open before her teeth sink into the skin, liquid slipping between her lips and falling down her chin, mixing with the blood.

Lily lets it fall for a moment, before darting her tongue out and licking her lips. And really, there must be something horribly, awfully wrong with Mary because she is… she is finding it difficult to breathe for an entirely different reason than fear. Lily must know it too, because she is staring intently at Mary, her pupils blown and her lip between two sharp teeth. 

Carelessly, Lily lets her hand fall limp, the knife falling from it onto the floor with a clatter.

“Oh.” She sighs as if completely shocked by the turn of events, “Do you mind?”

Mary should know better. Mary should say no. Instead, she keeps her eyes on Lily’s and sinks to her knees, just for the thrill of seeing Lily's reaction and it does not disappoint. Lily's eyes widen slightly, a small proud smirk on her lips and she gives an encouraging nod to Mary. Mary lets her hand feel around blindly for the knife, not caring if she gets cut, Lily would probably like that anyway.

When she does finally find the knife, she lets her eyes leave Lily’s for a split second, just to watch herself wrap her palm around the handle, to see the way the blood stains her skin. When she looks back up at Lily her gaze has darkened, the smile is gone, and she is just observing Mary. As if waiting for the wrong move.

With the knife in hand and eye contact reinstated, she makes a move to stand back up but quickly stops when Lily gives a small shake of the head. Standing as tall as she can from her knees she hands Lily the knife and watches intently as Lily takes it back and gives it a once-over. Lily looks down at her with hooded eyelids as something akin to hunger overtakes her features, and without sparing Mary another look she sticks out her tongue and licks over the length of the knife, from the handle to the tip of her blade that she lets snag her tongue, cutting into it so very gently. Lily continues to lick the blade, letting her own blood mingle with the blood already on the blade, a sick union that Mary is so sure is born of murder of some sort.

When Lily finishes, she leaves the knife spotless. Mary is completely hypnotised. Lily, sweet, kind, fucking teacher Lily, is standing in front of her with a knife in her hand and a completely feral look on her face. She looks as if she wants to rip Mary apart, and for some reason, Mary is willing to let her. God, she never pegged herself to have a blood kink–

Lily is breathing heavily now, and twisting the knife around her fingers carelessly as if she wants to be cut. When she has a solid hold on it again, she decides the best thing to do is to stick it to Mary's throat, tilting her head up. The blade is warm on her skin, Lily is pushing with just enough pressure that she can feel the threat of skin breaking, one wrong move and she's bleeding.

“Are you still scared?” Lily asks in a whisper.

“Yes,” Mary answers honestly.

“Do you want me to stop?” 

“No .” She all but pleads.

Lily smiles at her, and trails the knife up her face, to the tips of her cheekbones and back down to her cupids bow. Lily holds it to her lips for a moment as she slowly sinks down, crouching until she’s at eye level with Mary. Lily brings the knife down, pulling Mary’s bottom lip into a pout.

“God, you're just so fucking appetizing,” Lily whispered leaning in closer and closer until the only thing that separates them is the blade of her knife. Mary expects her to move it, maybe hold it under her throat again in a way so intoxicating, but Lily chooses to kiss her over the knife. She isn't careful about it, nor gentle, and Mary feels panic flare up when she tastes the first bit of blood fall onto her tongue, but it only seems to encourage Lily.

Lily does eventually remove the knife, once again licking it before she throws it carelessly over her shoulder so she can deepen the kiss. It's nothing like the kisses Mary has ever had before, it's heavy and violent. Lily’s tongue licking at her teeth and biting her lip where it split so blood will spill over, every time Lily tastes it she groans. The sound enough makes Mary willing to give up every ounce of her blood as long as Lily keeps making those noises.

Lily's hands are everywhere, travelling slowly from the small of Mary’s back up to her shoulders and then into her hair where she grabs a handful of Mary's curls and pulls . Mary can’t help but gasp as her eyes roll back, a moan falling from her lips as Lily takes advantage of the new territory, mouthing up and down Mary’s neck. Lily licks the heated skin, nipping at it gently at first and then more violently. Mary isn't completely sure, but it is almost as if Lily's teeth get longer, sharper . The more into it Lily gets, the more aggressive until she pulls back with a groan, wiping violently at her own face and smearing the old blood away, making a clean canvas for her newest project. Lily is hovering around Mary's neck, just under the soft spot where she can feel Mary's pulse. Mary can feel her haggard breath on her skin, she can feel Lily lick the skin and drag her teeth along it, but just before she can get on with it, Mary has a revelation.

“Wait–Wait, stop.” Mary gasps, and God, she knows she’s the one that stops it all but when Lily leans away she can't help but whine, “We can't. It's wrong, Lily.”

“Doesn't feel wrong to me,” Lily says, leaning closer and running her hands up and down Mary’s thighs.

And in all honesty, it doesn't, maybe it's the fact that she's never been more turned on in her life thats clouding her judgement, but she has never felt so sure about something. Even as she feels the blood from Lily's hands drying on the skin of her thighs, she's sure she’s never wanted anything. And really, she would just go ahead and fuck her if wasn't for the fact that her boyfriend would not at all appreciate it.

“I can't.” Mary shook her head desperately, “Nash would be so upset.”

Lily let out a sweet laugh, her hands tightening their grip around Mary’s thighs, leaning back into Mary’s neck, “Nash isn't a problem anymore, dont worry your pretty little head .” She punctuated the last three words with gentle bites up Mary’s throat.

Mary used every ounce of her self-control to pull back away from Lily, heavy-lidded eyes staring into hers, “What do you mean?”

Lily smiled something sinister, her pretty white smile stained red. Mary was starting to think she knew whose blood it was, and found herself… relieved, in a sick sense. God, she was so fucked up. So fucked up for this girl.

“You trust me, don't you Mare?” Lily asked, “You would've run if you didn't.”

Mary nods.

Lily leans in close to Mary’s ear, “Then stop thinking and let me help you.” Lily pulled back with a tender smile, “Thats easy enough isn't it? Just to sit there and look pretty?”

“Mhm.” Mary hummed as she watched Lily search for the knife she had disposed of earlier, her eyes brightening when she saw it.

Lily crowds back into Mary's space, pushing the knife flush with her thigh, “Just sitting there, trying not to get hurt? Sit so very still and careful for me?” Mary nods, “Letting me just… do what I want?”

“Yes.” Mary breathes.

Lily hums, something deep in the back of her throat and smacks harshly at Mary's leg. She pulls herself up in a way that should not be so seductive in their dingy little kitchen and lets her hands cradle Mary’s face.

“Stand up.”

Mary does.

Lily's hands wrap around her waist, pulling Mary to where she wants her, and with a strength you wouldn't expect from such a person she lifts Mary up, pushing her back onto the counter and stepping in between her legs. Her hands travel up from her ass to the hem of her shirt, and agonizingly slowly Lily's hands slip under, cold skin meeting warm and shivers erupting for both parties. Her hands go farther and farther until she’s caressing Mary’s breasts.

“No bra?”

“What?” Mary's mind has ceased to work, the words taking far longer than they should to sink in, “No I was–I was uhm, sleeping.”

“You never wear one to sleep?” Lily asks, but Mary hardly hears her, she’s gone ahead and let her eyes slip shut just enjoying the sensations that come with every move of Lily's hands. “If it's too distracting I’m going to stop.”

“ No! No, it's... No, I don't.” Mary grits out, “It's restricting. Bad for you.”

Lily's hands fall and Mary can't help but throw her head back into the cabinets out of frustration, “What the fuck? I answered–”

“Oh hush,” Lily chastises with a sharp pinch on the soft skin of Mary’s stomach, “stop being so fucking needy. Good girls are patient.”.

When Mary has finally pried her eyes open she sees Lily in a new position, the knife held snugly between her lips as examines her her hands. Most of the blood was gone by now, at least the bits that covered her arms, leaving just patches of pale skin and freckles. Mary wants to lick it, bite it, just as Lily had done to her. She wants to be just as violent. 

With a sigh Lily pops the knife out of her mouth, tossing it to the side once again and refusing on her hands–or more specifically her nails. Lily is a pretty girl, which was only amplified by the fact she kept herself somehow perfectly groomed at all times, including always having a fresh manicure. This week her nails are white, dotted with little pink roses. Innocent, and sweet. Everything she isn't. 

At first, Mary doesn't really get the problem. Yes, you have beautiful fucking nails, awesome! Get on with it and put your hand to use– oh. Yeah, she's starting to realize what's wrong. The woes of lesbianism. And honestly, she is fine with skipping that bit. Wouldnt bother her a bit as long as Lily just fucking does something, but Lily seems to have other plans as she brings her hand up to her face and all but rips the acrylic off with her teeth, spitting out the fake nails onto the floor. 

“Ow.” Mary hisses, cringing a bit, “Did that not hurt?”

Lily looks at her incredulously, “I'm a literal maneater. No, it did not hurt.”

“Oh,” Mary nods, “Right, sorry. Wait, are we gonna talk about that because–”

“Later .” Lily groans as she grabs Mary’s cheeks roughly and all but inhales her.

The kiss deepens quickly, hands in hair and nails clawing at skin hard enough to break. Lily is gripping everywhere, her shoulders, her waist, her breasts… Her mouth follows everywhere her hand bruises, kissing the pain away until she's grasping at her thighs and pushing them further apart.

She nips her way down Mary’s legs, taking her sweet time and ignoring every single beg. She only comes up to suck a bruise on her inner thighs, so close to where Mary wants her but dutifully neglecting it. Mary isn't even sure she’s alive anymore, her brain has become completely mush, she is only sensation. Lily has hardly even touched her and yet she feels like a single breath on just the right place could push her over the edge. 

Lily pulls away and wipes the spit from her chin, without a word she grips the bottom of Mary’s shirt and pulls it up and over, throwing it somewhere away in the abyss. Her mouth takes quick advantage of all the free skin now, biting at the sensitive skin before letting her tongue soothe the ache that came with being denied for so long.

Mary tangles her fingers in the soft strands of Lily's hair as she continues to mouth at her breasts, her back arching seeking the warmth of Lily's mouth. Lily continues to just bite, looking up at Mary with wide eyes and stained teeth, Mary’s dark skin so contrast to the white of Lily's teeth.

“Lily, Please– Please .” Mary gasps, “Please, please, please–”

Lily pulls away with a pop, “What? Tell me what you want and you can have it.”

“I, uh... Fuck..” Lily has slid her hands down to the waistband of Mary’s shorts, just the tips of her fingers venturing in.

“Keep talking.” Lily orders, “I want to hear what you want.”

And so Mary does. Babbling every incoherent thought as Lily drags her shorts, and then her panties. Even when Lily finally gives her what she's been begging for she talks, fighting through each moan and gasp as Lily puts her tongue to use, because if Mary stops talking…

There’s a harsh slap that brings Mary back to reality, Lily's glare sobering her as she realises the pleasure has stopped. Mary gasps and pants as she scrambles to get it back, willing to say or do anything.

“I'm sorry, sorry. Please, I'm sorry–Fucking christ ..”

“It's like you want me to stop,” Lily chastises as she lets her finger drag across Mary, “You just want me to get upset with you.”

“No, I don't, I'm trying I swear–” Marys cut off with a moan as Lily lets a single finger slip inside, pumping antagonizingly slow, her other hand rubbing comfortingly on her thigh,

“I think you want me to be mean to you.” Lily continues, “Don't you? You want me to deny you? Call you a fucking slut?”

“Lily, more, please–Please, I was–”

“Or do you want to be good?” Lily asks, “Take everything I give you? Like a good girl?”

“I can be good–I am.” Mary shakes her head, if she just moves her finger just there then Mary can… “I can be so good, swear.”

“Then stop fucking begging.” Lily whispers, “And take it.”

Mary has to bite her lip to stop the pleas from falling past, and as Lily slips in another finger Mary swears she's done for. The pace is slow at first, really drawing it all, but then Lily uses her tongue and she's starting to see stars. Lily can obviously feel it too, sucking Mary’s clit between her lips and humming as her finger goes deeper, curling up deliciously. 

Mary is choking, biting down on her lip so much that the split reopens and she can taste herself. She's trying her hardest not to beg, not to touch, to be good but when Lily groans around her clit she can't help but grab a handful of her hair and grind upwards. It doesn't take much after that to send her over the edge, her thighs shaking on either side of Lily's head and her eyes rolling back inside her head as waves of pleasure consume her.

When Mary is conscious of herself once again she can feel Lily pressing a soft kiss on her lower stomach, and massaging her thighs from where they have unclenched from around her head and fallen limp. Mary's face is burning and she’s sticky with sweat, her heartbeat is beginning to fall back to normal and her head is clearing up. She feels… well, kinda gross but in a really, really good way. Because nothing Lily could ever do, especially to her, could ever be bad.

“Alright, love, you're alright.” Lily is whispering as she pulls Mary flush against her own body, her hands hooking under Mary's thighs, “Come on, now.”.

Mary lets herself be pulled up, wrapping her arms around Lily's shoulders and letting her head rest upon them as she feels Lily walking them away from the kitchen. The air is cold and practically freezing on Mary’s bare skin, the only thing she can hear is the hum of the refrigerator and the pat of Lily's bare feet on the hardwood.

“Mare, open your eyes for a mo’, yeah?” Lily encourages, “Gotta put you down for a second.”

Mary hums in dissatisfaction but does open her eyes and unravel her arms from Lily's neck, allowing her to be put down on the bathroom counter. For a moment she’s confused about why they're in here, having assumed Lily was just bringing her to bed, but her questions are quickly answered when Lily flips the shower on and starts to undress herself. Mary watches intently as Lily pulls the stiff, blood-soaked clothing from her skin, it's stained her. Lily is careful with her discarded clothing, folding the garments the best she can and placing them atop the laundry hamper. Lily pulls her underwear off next, letting it fall down her legs and rest on the floor, in only her bra she comes toward Mary and turns.

“Little help?” She asks, pulling her hair over her shoulder.

Mary’s hands make quick work of the strap, unclipping the back of the bra and gently shrugging it off Lily’s shoulders, pressing soft kisses to her shoulder blades as she goes. Lily hums appreciatively, her head slipping back a little bit to give Mary room to kiss her way up her neck. Eventually, Lily's hand comes up to Mary's cheek and pulls her into a kiss, honesty it's hardly a kiss, just a brush of lips, the best part is how Lily rests her forehead on Mary's.

Lily offers her hand to Mary, helping her down off the counters as the bathroom steams up, pulling her into the soft spray of the hot water in their shower. Mary relishes in it, dipping her head back and letting her curls get wet. Lily’s hands are caressing her hips, soothing over dark bruises, she only pulls away to squirt soap on her hands and then begins to clean Mary’s skin. She massages away the sweat, blood and tears, whispering sweet things the whole time.

When it's Lily’s turn, Mary is exceedingly gentle. The water and previous activities have rid of most of the blood, but there's still enough to be noticeable. Mary and Lily switch positions, Lily now under the spray of water and Mary's hands lathered in sweet-smelling soap. Mary starts at her legs, working her way up until Lily is lying back against the hard wall of their shower and completely relaxed. In all honesty, it could turn sexual very fast, if thats what either one wanted, but the intimate nature of just taking care of one another is just as satisfying as sex would be at the moment. So Mary works her way up, taking careful consideration of every inch of Lily, until the water is stained pink and her skin is clean.

After, they wrap each other in towels, trading soft murmurs and even softer kisses. Lily eventually leads Mary to her bedroom, and without a second thought, they curl around each other under the warmth of the duvet. Mary's hands have found their way to Lliy’s hair, and Lily's arms have wrapped around Mary’s waist, her head resting on her chest. It's domestic in a way you expect from someone thats apparently.. so violent. It's something Mary wants for the rest of her life.

“Lily?”

“Hm?”

“What are you?”

Lily pushes herself up from Mary's chest, looking down at her with an expression so soft it makes her want to melt, “I haven't a clue what you mean.” Lily tucks a wet damp curl behind Mary's ear, “Maybe you should go to sleep, hm?”.

And so they do.

╚══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╝

[raccoon-eyed-rebel]

Henry’s little karaoke performance (or lack of) has me wondering:

How each of the guys who lives at 179th Crescent Street feel about a good old karaoke night?

Who likes it? Who needs alcohol or weed to participate?

What’s their favourite song?

I get to talk about my boys? I GET TO TALK ABOUT MY BOYS!!!

Thank you so much for this ask and... let's get right to it! I added the ladies too because... Well I was having fun with this and I can use a little bit of that right about fucking now so, that's why <3

179th Crescent Street Karaoke Headcanon

Series Masterlist

@geralts-yenn @deandoesthingstome @ellethespaceunicorn @livisss @summersong69 @ylva-syverson @poledancingdinos @sillyrabbit81

Will our favourite man-child sing? Absolutely

Does he need to be drunk? No

Will it be good? Absolutely the fuck it won’t!

Will being drunk help? That depends.

Him being drunk won’t make him sing better, you being drunk might help make it bearable though.

Will probably sing Barbie girl, Girls just wanna have fun, 9 to 5, Wannabe, ... Baby one more time (You get the idea)

100% guaranteed to look ridiculous, 120% guaranteed to not really give a fuck.

(Bonus: no secondhand embarrassment necessary because this boy gets up there with CONFIDENCE)

(And if anyone makes fun of him he looks them dead in the eye and goes “Okay, your turn, then?”)

(They never do.)

Will need copious amounts of alcohol, yes

But absolutely will sing.

Alternatively; needs no alcohol when Angie begs him. He will say yes to her. Always.

(This man is whipped and he loves it.)

Not horrible, but not great

Does Angels kinda well, actually!

Highly unlikely

But he has this rare mood...

He’s not bad, either.

Sings something like Summer of ’69 or Living on a prayer.

You’d sooner catch him singing in the shower though.

Will gladly serenade Lexi

In private

He’ll sing her Heaven

No.

I would love to see you try to get him up there

I mean... He SHOULD

He sometimes sings The sound of silence while making dinner (Disturbed, not S&G, of course)

It’s to die for!

But no.

Won’t do it.

Can’t make him.

You can’t convince me this smooth motherfucker doesn’t have the voice of an angel.

He might need some liquid courage

(to find the motivation rather than the nerve, though. He’s nothing if not confident...)

Imagine this man making eyes at you while singing I want it that way?

Like. Excuse you, ma’am, but no matter what you say you’re going home with him.

When there’s no girl to impress he’ll go with Africa or Every breath you take.

Once

After the hockey team won the finals

The whole team sang “We are the champions”

He has no recollection of this

What he does remember is the 2 girls that were in his bed when he woke up, the 2 glasses of water that got tossed in his face because he didn’t remember either of their names, which did nothing to cure the hangover he would have for 2 days because he had WAY 2 (haha get it?) much to drink.

There’s a video

Somehwere..

It’s hilarious

He’s bad

Very, very bad

Do not get this man drunk near a karaoke machine.

Okay maybe do it once, because it’s funny.

Shania Twain. Taylor Swift.

Do I need to say more?

Actually yes I do.

He doesn’t have a horrible voice, but he’s drunk, so...

If you manage to persuade him before he’s plastered, he’ll sing Tennessee Whiskey and he won’t sound half bad, actually!

After that... Just picture this man singing Man! I feel like a woman.

He doesn’t get away with looking silly the way Mike does, but also couldn’t care too much so there’s that.

Not a fan of publicly humiliating himself

And knows himself well enough to know he can’t sing

So, logically, no.

Bonus; The girls!

Danielle

Can sing well, usually

But she’s too anxious to sing without getting absolutely hammered.

And by then it won’t sound so good.

Not to mention this uncoordinated mess will probably trip over a cable and break an ankle

Maybe if Mike holds her they can pull off Don’t go breaking my heart? 🥺 That would be really cute.

Anjelica

By now we’ve established that Ange can do anything

A little liquid courage is necessary, but nothing 2 shots of tequila can’t fix

She likes to sing Valerie or No One

And she will 100% absolutely fucking SLAY.

She’s a queen, ok?

Elena

Good voice.

Took singing lessons when she was younger, actually

Her mom forced opera on her though, which she hated, so she quit.

Can, and will, sing Celine Dion if given half a chance

You have not lived until you’ve heard her sing My heart will go on.

Sherlock may or may not have cried. Idk.

Solveig

Can sing

Will not

Alexandra

When hell freezes over

When Easter and Pentecost fall on the same day

Over her cold, dead body

No.

(Sings in the shower. Does not do so very well.)

Alicia

Will get up there stone cold sober

Will perform her sexy li’l ass off

Will serve Absolute. Fucking. Cunt.

Before He Cheats was written for this woman.

Carrie Underwood who?

Ariel

Will do it for fun

After a few drinks

But not alone!!!

Sloane

Can sing and fucking KNOWS it.

Loves to sing Whitney Houston

But her all time favourites are Ready or Not and Killing me Softly

Really, truly, 100% has THAT voice.

Why does she want to be a doctor again?

[dirk-rider]

TT: I just can’t believe you’ve never experienced the pleasures of fast food.

TT: Like, not figuratively. I literally cannot believe you have never once in your entire life sat down and shoved a big mac into that bucktoothed mouth of yours.

GT: Well a mans got to keep himself in tip top shape if he wants anything to do with the ladies!

TT: I eat fast food. You still fuckin’ drool over me like a goddamn dog.

GT: Pshhhh.

GT: No i dont!

TT: …

GT: And even if i did you yourself arent a LADY! Lovely as that would be : )

TT: Oh, I bet.

GT: If you really are so insistent though i haven’t had dinner yet…

TT: Well my shift’s almost over, so if you’re serious you better get here fast.

GT: Oh right on! You dont need to worry my good bro! Im getting in the car as we speak!

TT: Don’t text and drive man.

GT: Ive got my trusty skulltop!

GT: And anyway with that logic you shouldnt be texting on the job! Im sure you’ve got other things to tend to.

TT: Not really. That’s why I’m heading out early.

GT: Oh! I guess i should have put that together haha.

GT: How early exactly?

TT: Like right about now.

GT: Well golly Dirk you could wait for me at the very least : (

TT: You’re right, I could.

TT: But I could also go home and play video games.

GT: : (

GT: Half the reason i decided to come over anyway was to see my good bro!

TT: Well it’s too late, I’m already in the car.

GT: But that means ill be missing out on seeing the real you!

TT: How about I call you. Then we can talk usin’ our voices and shit. Maybe that’ll help up the realism factor.

GT: Well i GUESS that would be close enough…

TT: Sweet.

So that’s how Dirk Strider ended up on the phone with his good buddy pal Jake English while he ordered his first ever fast food meal.

“So you’re gonna want to try the chicken nuggets, first off, because our chicken nuggets are the absolute shit,” Dirk explained, pulling into his driveway. “And I’d also order the fuckin… uhhh…. the double stack burger, since you like lettuce, and that shit has a lotta lettuce. Oh, and get one of the large fountain drinks, too, I just cleaned the machine today so there shouldn’t be any fuckin’ maggots infesting that shit or whatever.”

“Eww, Dirk, that’s gross! I’m going to lose my appetite before I even get there at this rate!” Jake replied, and Dirk could practically hear him wrinkle his nose. He chuckled lightly.

“Don’t worry bro I’m joking,” he assured him. “Mostly.”

Jake sighed deeply. “Well, I’m next in line, so anything else that’d get you off?”

Dirk blushed a bit. Jake was joking, obviously, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t true. Dirk shut the car door and started walking inside as he replied, “If you REALLY wanna get me off, double that shit.”

“Heheh, alright bro, as you wish!” Jake replied, giggling a bit. Dirk smiled to himself at that. Obviously Jake wouldn’t be doing that, but it was still a thought he enjoyed. There was a silence for a moment as he reflected on this mental image, storing it away for later as he flopped down on his bed, when a voice interrupted his thoughts.

“Alright, Dirk, now how do I order? I ask the metal robot box for food, right?”

Dirk came back to himself, and then remembered how much of a self sheltered dumbass his crush was.

“Yeah, roll down your window and when they say some shit like, ‘hello, welcome to [fast food place], I’ll take your order whenever you’re ready!’, you gotta say what you want.” He put on an admittedly obnoxious high pitched tone as he imitated his coworkers - he wasn’t really a big fan of some of them.

“Alright! Then that I will do! One moment!”

And so Dirk sat back and listened while Jake ordered, nodding approvingly as he did so. Jake ordered a double decker bacon burger, a six piece of chicken nuggets with honey barbeque sauce (just weird enough to be a totally Jake English thing), and a coke. All totally good, some of the best stuff on the menu.

And then he said “Oh, and double that order! I’d like two of everything, if you would!”

And Dirk practically melted into his bed.

He stayed quiet as Jake exchanged money with the cashier (Dirk’s manager), Jake joking about how “it only got busy when I got here”, which was honestly probably true. People DID seem to gravitate towards Jake English.

Eventually, he got to pull forward. As he was handed the bags, he gave an honest thank you, before a sound of confusion came from the speakers in Dirk’s earbuds.

“What’s wrong, bro?” Dirk asked.

“Oh! Well, I guess now that I think about it, I should have figured this would happen, but ordering two of everything seemed to include two drinks as well..?”

“Well yeah man, unless you specify that you only want one drink, they’re gonna think ‘double everything’ includes that shit.”

Maybe he was coming off as rude, and maybe his speech was becoming sloppy, but he was currently more focused on taking down the small tent in his pants than he was on explaining the proper way to order food.

“Well yes, I guess so, but… golly, what should I do with the second one? I already can’t drink an entire bottle on it’s own normally, and I was planning on saving the one I ordered for later-“

“I dare you to chug it,” Dirk replied, only realizing he wasn’t just thinking that after the words escaped his mouth.

Luckily, Jake stayed oblivious as always as he replied, “we’ll see if I have enough room left later,” laughing a bit. God he didn’t know how much that turned Dirk on.

“Right. Well, sweet. You got your food, you got your drinks, now what? Should I hang up or something? I can hang up if you want me to.”

“Oh no no no, dickens no! Dirk, I rarely if ever get to call you, I want to hear more of your voice!” Jake replied quickly.

“Wow, so you are absolutely desperate to listen to my voice, aren’t you? Not drooling over me my ASS.”

Jake chuckled a bit. “It’s normal to want to talk to your best bro for at least a little bit each day! And besides, I don’t know if there’s some proper form or whatnot to eating this food. Need I remind you, there’s a first time for everything!”

“Yeah, there is. But what really could be so different about fast food? You just kind of… eat it.”

“Well, maybe there is some proper order or such I need to follow. I don’t know, man!”

“Nah, it’s pretty simple. Take a bit of the burger, then wash it down with that coca cola shit, then follow it by dunkin’ your nugs in that soda like it’s some kinda sauce, really get it all sopping wet so you can eat it all good and soggy.”

A moment of silence followed, before Jake said, “no offense my good pal, but that shit sounds absolutely foul.”

Dirk chuckled a bit. “Nah, nah man, you have to try it. That’s the only true way to eat chicken nuggets. Everyone knows that.”

“Well, thank you for your advice, but I am afraid I won’t be doing that,” Jake replied, laughing along with him.

The two boys proceeded to make dumb suggestions and jokes the rest of the way to Jake’s home, until eventually Jake exclaimed, “Home at last!”

“Cool. Can’t wait for you to go inside and start shoving that shit in your mouth. Make sure to put on a show for me, alright?”

“Heheh, right-o!”

Dirk heard a door shut, then heard Jake yell, “Anybody home? No? Alrighty then!” and then heard another door shut.

“Jade’s not there tonight?” Dirk asked.

“It doesn’t appear so! Probably out gardening or volunteering or something.”

“Huh. Well that’s cool,” Dirk said, trying to tone down his excitement. “Maybe you can like, I dunno. Let loose now or some shit.”

Man was he good at hiding what he was thinking.

“Sure can! I can do almost anything I want tonight, and you’re going to bear prime witness to it all!”

Dirk smiled. “No, I’m not WITNESSING shit, man. I can only hear you, remember?”

“Well sure, that is true, but that’s all a matter of semantics. Who knows, we really should hang out soon anyways!”

“With or without food?” Dirk asked, rolling over in his bed.

“It depends on if this is really all you cracked it up to be! And there is really only one way to find out!”

Dirk could hear the familiar crinkle of fast food bags being opened and unwrapped, then the sound of chewing, then the sound of a hearty swallow, and then,

“ZOUNDS, Dirk! You were absolutely, positively right about this! Dear lord, this is amazing!”

Dirk could only imagine the face Jake was making. It sounded like he was making that face he made when he was super excited about something, the one where his eyes shot wide open, sparkled, but still somehow crinkled at the edges with his smile. Dirk buried his face into a pillow to muffle the sounds threatening to escape him.

Luckily, without needing any further comment from him, Jake continued eating, and the way his mic was set up was right against his throat, so Dirk got to hear every little noise that came from him. And god damn if they weren’t good sounds.

Jake surely wasn’t aware of this, and he’d most definitely move it if Dirk said something, so instead Dirk chose to maintain a comfortable silence on his end as he listened to Jake English absolutely devour a burger. Usually the sounds of eating made him slightly uncomfortable, but picturing JAKE making those noises? That was another story entirely. And those moans of satisfaction? Pure aphrodisiac. After only a few moments though Jake had already finished.

“Mm, gah, I need something to drink!” Jake exclaimed. “That was good, but absolutely parching, heh!”

“You got soda, don’t you?”

“Well yes,” Jake said, “that is true! I’ll go grab it!”

“From where man?” Dirk asked, admittedly somewhat disappointed that the display was already on pause.

“Oh, I set it down on my bedside table,” Jake explained, his voice surrounded by the sounds of a microphone that’s set a little bit too sensitive. “My hands were full.”

“Ah.” So Dirk waited in anticipation till he heard Jake plop back down in his spinny desk chair.

“Alright, here goes! Cheers!” Jake exclaimed. When Dirk didn’t reply, though, he repeated himself, albeit a bit less enthusiastically. “Um, cheers, bro? You have to say it back,” he chuckled.

“Nobody says weird shit like that but you.”

“Well then, I’ll instead say: bottoms up!”

“You do you.” Dirk then quickly tensed again as he heard the almost annoyingly close sound of a bubbling liquid making it’s way down Jake’s throat, and man was he swallowing fast. Eventually though the noises slowed, and Dirk heard a short breath out, followed by a short gurgly burp that seemed to surprise Jake just as much as it did Dirk.

“Hah, excuse me, Dirk! Wasn’t - wasn’t expecting THAT, heh,” Jake said, his voice rising a bit.

“No, it’s cool, man. I really don’t care.” And what a lie that was.

“Al-right, if you say so, bro,” Jake chuckled. “What next, though..?”

“You should try the chicken nuggets. That shit is fuckin’ bomb,” Dirk told him.

“Well then, guess I will! If they’re anything like those patty sandwiches, I’m sure they’re positively delightful!”

“Yeah. Whatever the fuck a patty sandwich is.”

Jake either didn’t hear or didn’t care to respond to that, instead digging around his bag for the small packets of honey barbeque sauce. When he found it, he made a sort of triumphant sound. And as he began eating these, Dirk’s thoughts were only getting hotter and hotter.

Every sound of delight, every smacking of the lips, every pause for a drink just left Dirk hungrier and hungrier, but he had to keep his cool. Even if the mental image of your best bro/biggest crush eating fast food was the exact opposite of “cool”. Jacking off while on the phone certainly wasn’t cool either, and so instead he just clenched his jaw and squeezed his poor pillow harder. Jake would occasionally make comments of course, unable to bask in his own sound as Dirk was, but Dirk would simply give his usual noncommittal reply of “yeah” or “huh”. It was easier that way for him really.

After what felt like quite a bit too short, though, Jake finally gave a somewhat disheartening “aw”, and now Dirk was the one sparking conversation.

“What’s wrong, man?”

“Oh, nothing really! Just finished the box quite a bit quickly, aha!”

“Oh yeah.”

“…”

“Well, you still got a whole other bag of this stuff, too, y’know,” Dirk pointed out. “Not like you’re out of food for a while.”

“Oh I guess that is true..! Here, let me grab the other-“

But it was now or never, and Dirk knew his hormonal high wouldn’t be lasting too much longer if he didn’t do something about it, so he did.

“Hold on a second, you promised me a show, remember? We’re not gonna look back and laugh at your first time eating fast food otherwise. We need some excitement and shit to really add stakes.”

“What do you mean? What would you want me to do to… make a show of things?”

“Uhh.” Dirk paused a moment, hoping it’d make it seem like a spur of the moment recollection and not a nightly fantasy. “Remember when you said you’d chug that soda? Do that shit I dunno.”

Jake went quiet a moment, seemingly thinking, before eventually replying, “Well I can’t seem to think of a reason not to!”

“Hell yeah. Chug chug motherfucker!”

“Heheh, alright!” Jake replied, unscrewing the cap of the second one. And Dirk most definitely noticed that this was a new bottle, the slight click of the seal being broken telling him just that. And he also most definitely was not upset by this. He heard a sharp fizzing noise, then a somewhat shaky breath on the other end, and then the sound of Jake English gulping down a bottle of soda.

Dirk wanted to say something, ANYTHING to distract from how absolutely amazing an experience this was for him, but he just couldn’t bring himself to speak. The sound of swallowing liquid was just so mesmerizing to him, he couldn’t turn his attention to anything else.

Soon though, Jake’s lips parted from the bottle, and as they did so a low, breathy belch came out of him. This time, though, he did not excuse himself, rather just exclaimed, “Hn - gosh, Dirk, all that and it’s still not done!”

Dirk inhaled sharply.

“W-well then, keep going man,” he replied, his own voice shaking with a hideous combination of arousal and nerves. “I’ve chugged lots of drinks, I’m sure you can too, heh.”

“Well of course I CAN, Dirk,” Jake said, making it sound like the concept was obvious, “but it’s a matter of how FAST I can. You yourself never even have any - ahem - eructations, which is honestly something I envy! Especially seeing how quickly you can down a whole bottle-“

“Yeah but this isn’t about me, man. I can do that any old time. I dared YOU to, remember? So uh- hurry up, man!“

Dirk was becoming antsy, the bulge in his pants becoming hotter, more painful by the moment. He knew he had to go soon, he had to do something about THIS. But he couldn’t bring himself to leave just yet, he had to experience just a bit more.

“Well, alrighty then! I can’t leave a good dare hanging!” And so he continued gulping down the drink, this time each swallow seeming much more forceful, more liquid going into his throat than was going all the way down. And, as the bottle began crinkling, a sign it was finally empty, Jake threw it down on the table triumphantly.

“Ya-hoo! I did it, Dirk! Did you hear that? Drank an entire bottle on my own-!” a gurgling noise made itself known in Jake’s throat. “Oh, one moment.”

Dirk heard a thumping sound, like Jake was banging on his chest, and he could just imagine so perfectly Jake holding one finger up as he did so, in an “i’ll get back to you” sort of way. And then the gurgling noise got higher and higher, and then the noises ceased for one split second of silence-

And an explosive belch came from the speakers in Dirk’s earbuds.

The mic clipped as the eructation was happening, and Dirk’s heart was going faster than it ever had. He had to bite his cheek hard to keep himself from moaning, tensing his body with all of his might. And when it was over, Jake’s chair creaked as he leaned back and sighed.

“Oh, MAN, Dirk, that felt - that felt good,” he said.

Dirk had to agree.

Rather than saying that, though, he instead ended up stuttering out, “I- uh, I have to mute myself real quick, you can - keep doin’ your thing, though. Uh, yeah.” He then quickly muted himself and began unzipping his jeans.

“Oh, alright Dirk! Will you be back soon?” Jake asked, sounding almost disappointed.

Dirk grimaced as he reached back up to unmute himself. “Unh, yeah. Yeah, man.”

“Oh, good! I’ll be waiting!”

Dirk nodded as though Jake could see him and muted himself again before struggling to pull his pants off and throw them to the floor. Finally clad in just his boxers and tee though, he reached under his waistband and inhaled sharply, involuntarily gripping his dick as he heard Jake unwrapping the other burger.

Shit, he’d forgotten about that.

When Jake continued eating, now that he seemed to think Dirk was gone, he ate much less tactfully. He moaned a bit more at the new flavors, took longer drinks, allowed himself to let out short burps between bites…

It was better than any shitty prno Dirk had ever watched, and he couldn’t even see this guy. He could only imagine though, the look of ecstasy on his face as he took large bites, tearing his meal to shreds. It gave Dirk more than enough push as he got himself off, the sounds of Jake’s ecstasy mixing with Dirk’s pleasure to create a beautiful, horrible noise.

After only a few short moments (though they seemed very long to Dirk) he had his own cum smeared across the head of his boxers, and he was left gasping for air, body limp as Jake simply continued on, completely oblivious to what his friend was doing on the other line.

As Dirk’s mind was fogged over, he began feeling disgusted with himself for the way he had acted, and he wanted to get mad, punch himself square in the face. But he also felt a deep sense of relief and ecstasy, the kind one can only get from having his fantasies played out in front of him.

Finally, Jake leaned back and let out a belch that he muffled with his fist. Dirk could her the sound of him slapping something like a beach ball, but he knew from experience that it was actually the sound of an overstuffed stomach, and it almost made him want a round two. He sighed and shook his head, though. That could wait for later, at least until he was off the line.

So he reached back up and unmuted himself, and the short “bing!” sound alerted Jake to his presence.

“Oh, Dirk! You’re back! Is everything alright?”

Dirk breathed deeply before answering.

“Yeah, Dave needed some help. With uh, his computer. Dude can’t understand computers for shit, always needs help with some update or whatever. And I didn’t want to - embarrass him, so I muted so you couldn’t hear his cries of fuckin’ agony as he realized all he had to do was turn the thing off and on again. Heh.”

Dirk grinned at how well he was able to bullshit that response.

“Oh, alright! That would make a lot more sense than what I was- no, never mind that. Um, I ended up finishing everything without you, sorry! I know you missed the ‘show’ and whatnot, I just couldn’t help myself!”

Dirk’s heart jumped a bit at that.

“Nah, it’s alright. Totally cool. I’m glad you enjoyed it,” he said simply. Such an understatement.

“Yes, I absolutely did enjoy it! Y’know, I really should have come on over as soon as you started working there. I missed out on some premium meals!”

“Yeah you did. But there’s always a spot in the to-go line for you. Or, hell, even in the regular line. I’d get to see more of you that way,” he smiled. Was he flirting? He honestly didn’t know.

“Oh, yes, I’d love that! I quite enjoy seeing your face, too, you know!” Jake smiled back at him. And he was definitely flirting. “In fact, before you go, could you please turn on your camera? I never did get to see you.”

Dirk blushed a bit, though it was hardly noticeable against his post-cum flush.

“Only if you do too, man,” he said, if only to buy himself time as he got up to walk half naked to his bathroom to grab a washcloth. Or a towel, if you’re a one of those fans.

“Ah, fine, if you insist,” he heard Jake chuckle as Dirk was wetting the rag. “Let me open the call on my husktop quickly… let’s see here…”

In the amount of time it took for Jake to boot up his computer and connect the call to it, Dirk had cooled himself down enough to look presentable. He quickly walked back to his bedroom and put his glasses back on before he turned on his phone camera, angling it upwards a bit to a) make himself look cooler and b) hide the fact that he wasn’t wearing pants.

“Oh, Dirk! Looking gorgeous as ever, I see!” Jake said when he finally noticed.

“Yeah man, looking and feeling like fifty bucks.” He couldn’t hide the small grin on his face.

“Well here, one moment… and- there we go! Camera is on- oh!”

Jake must’ve only then realized how much his stomach was pushing out.

It was quite a sight, really, his face and shirt coated in crumbs and grease as his shirt rode up on his stomach, unable to hide the massive excess he had indulged in.

Dirk’s eyebrows raised and he quickly took a screenshot before Jake could fix this.

“You’re looking good too, man,” Dirk said, hoping it came off as another joke, thoigh he couldn’t hide how impressed he was. “Reeaall good.”

Jake pushed his computer screen up so the camera wasn’t on his stomach anymore, only really capturing his upper chest, face and ceiling now. He then made an attempt to pull his shirt back over his stomach.

“Oh stop, haha,” he said, blushing a bit. “Sorry you had to see that!”

“No no, it’s cool,” Dirk smiled. “I do gotta get goin’ though, much as I love staring at you,” he chuckled.

“Aw alright, so soon? I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then?” Jake asked, looking hopeful.

“Yeah man. I’m not missing school if you’re there.”

Jake grinned. “Sweet! Fistbump for good luck!”

Dirk chuckled and raised a fist to the screen and the two fistbumped, Jake then pulling back and imitating an explosion.

“See ya, man,” Dirk smiled.

“Goodbyeee!!” Jake replied, and the screen went dark as he hung up.

Dirk quickly swiped up to his photo gallery, pulling up the screenshot he had just taken.

Now he had jack-off material for at least two months.

[sallysellsseashellssundays]

Disclaimer: This post is going to be Anti Moffat for anyone who’s reading and is a fan you’ve been warned.  

“The Doctor’s Wife” is the 4th episode, I had actually been spoiled already and I knew Idris was going to be the TARDIS somehow, but I didn’t know anything else besides that. This has to be my favorite episode from S6 so far, and I think one of my favorites from the show as a whole.

The Good: Holy crap. The actors for Uncle, Aunt and Idris were just wow, absolutely phenomenal! Uncle and Aunt mouthing at the same time reminded me of Midnight, it was so frightening to see. Idris looking at herself in the mirror was one of the funniest moments lol. Eleven getting angry, whew, I think Matt pulled this off really well and I’d sort of missed seeing the Doctor mad. Then him getting emotional as they were saying goodbye was the best acting Matt’s done. Eleven talking to Idris at the end was really beautiful and it actually made me tear up a bit. Us being able to see the TARDIS corridors was super cool and House messing with Amy and Rory was an interesting part of the storyline. Idris communicating with “the pretty one” lmao I had to pause to laugh! We actually got to see the old console room again, and I got a little emotional at that as well. Rory being a nurse, and looking after Idris was lovely, he’s probably the most underused character but always really funny and nice when we see him.

The Bad: The Doctor sending Amy and Rory away, and him spending the entire time with Idris was necessary for the story...but I feel like literally every episode now is him not being with his friends at all, like they don’t do the adventures together :( The Doctor calling the TARDIS sexy sounds super cringe, I’m sorry but I couldn’t handle it I think my body started physically revolting at hearing it lol. Rory is dying every episode, it’s at a point where it’s actually a little funny which sucks because a main character dying should be an emotional thing IMO.  House messing with Amy and Rory wouldn’t have been as easily done if they’d hold hands, do they just never hold hands??

The Worst: Amy says the Doctor told her about what he did to the Time Lords, and that would have been such a beautiful moment to see between them. It would have shown the Doctor opening up to a friend but instead it just feels like we’re always told how close he and Amy are but we don’t see any of it!! We could have had a moment like with Ten and Martha talking in Gridlock :( I really dislike that he kept mentioning Idris was a woman at one point, and of course she had to be called “sexy” by him I feel like that really takes away from the TARDIS as a character if that makes sense.

The Unresolved: Idris told Rory something with the word river in it which I’m assuming has to do with River and/or The Doctor’s death, we’ll have to wait and see. I’m also a little unsure as to why the episode was called the way it was since I thought River was supposed to be his wife? I forgot to mention after the last episode but it annoyed me that Amy didn’t tell the Doctor or Rory about eye patch lady, she forgot about her the first time she saw her because of the Silence but there was no reason for her not to tell them this time except for very convenient story purposes.

Overall I thought this was the best episode of the series (so far), it instantly catapulted the TARDIS as a “character” to one of my favorites.

Honorable mention to all the other things besides the console room that reminded me of RTD’s era: them leaving the universe to a “bubble” universe (when I thought the walls were sealed?), the place being filled with rift energy made me think of Jack/Torchwood, and the poor Ood with the Doctor mentioning it was another one he couldn’t save :(

[mandssisters]

Fare thee well 16.11.22

As I’ve quoted before and I think I will roll it out for a wee while, where do I begin.

No hardcore CAAMP fans in tents outside early queuing for tomorrows show! I mean absolute shocker.

We’d like to thank the local catering company for leaving their cardboard boxes outside for making the stone marble steps so much more hospitable to sit on!! I mean what’s not to love about 3 layers OF padding to put some bounce into the day.

Night two at Shepherd’s Bush empire. Still soaking it all in from last night. Here we are again. Another international line up of queuers, Uk, the states, fresh from Florida and Denmark. A colder day perhaps or is that #tiredness

A very causal day, I can highly recommend the cheese and tomato sour dough toastie from the green cafe KAVE next to the venue, and the black bean beef rice dish from the Noodle bar. Both very tasty. 9/10 for sure.

Some rain and a bit chilly but all good.

Monica Martin and Jake Sherman opened again, Monica in outfit number two tonight and hair down. Looked amazing loved the white cowboy boots. Boot envy.

She complimented the crowd on being quiet 🤫 and then I thought the mumbling got louder! Bugger. She did well. Another get set.

Showtime. Personally feeling more looser and relaxed about what was to come, I also felt Marcus felt a little less pressure than night 1. Said he loved this venue and loved being H.O.M.E

Never sure what a London crowd will bring on a Wednesday night but they were very appreciative and respectful… full of love.

You could have knocked us all down with a feather when the opener was Lovers Eyes 👀. What a treat. Second time playing on this tour. Evening made already!

Solo The cave and then the band joined Marcus on stage.

Let the album begin:

Banter:

Marcus stated he didn’t like silence between song changes so does some “chat”. Recalls a time from the US tour when he used the C*nt word 13 times at a show and then realised a 6 year old was in the audience. You can use the C*nt word much easier in the Uk apparently. It’s like f*ck was 20 years ago!! Much more open to it.

Mixing it up from the set list after Better off High the band leaves and we get Dinks Song. This went down very well. What a treat.

Marcus said the band were delighted to be experiencing all London had to offer…. Rain cold dark grey days etc but Mason, stage left was embracing the real heart of London and went to the Savoy!! A quick straw poll of how many of the audience had been there and Marcus proved his point!!

What a joy Go in light is with Monica. There vocals are so angelic together. You just want it to go on longer.

Little bit of banter with a lady down the front, Marcus thinking there as another medical emergency, however her fiend only wanted to embarrass her and she only wanted to say hello as he met her in 2015 or something!!

A lot of friends and family in the house tonight as it was a coming home London show. #jasonSudeikis

There are no words still for the beauty of Stonecatcher and How. Just beautiful.

Back on with Cowboy and who doesn’t love a Taylor Swift song, he has a great cowboy twang.

Ending with

WIGMHOY - epic

Kansas City - epic

Timshel dropped

I will wait unplugged. Always #special

Post show wanderings in the rain, we didn’t chance the Chicken 126 a second time. Golden Arches all the way. On a wet and windy Wednesday night it’s mad to see how busy it was. 007 all the way. Cold McPlant has always been a favourite.

It’s over too soon goodbyes to our American buddies. Safe travels home. Always a pleasure. Until #lemons.

[sailsinstorms]

Legacy of the Girls - Part 2

Let's continue reading, shall we?

This whole "almost dying" experience hasn't stopped Radley. She was cooking her breakfast because she was hungry and she's still hungry! A girl's gotta eat! Fire or no!

Solar: I just needed to share my feelings. I'm super upset about the way I reacted to Radley burning. I'm supposed to be the oldest. I should have been there to help. I'm sorry you and Molly had to take on that burden on your own. I'll do better next time. Winter: We're all in this together, Solar. Solar: Isn't Molly the youngest too...? Winter: Yes...

Radley: I'm really happy we all moved in together. Today I was gonna do a lot of mean pranks on everyone, but now I'm just thankful to be alive.

Loren: Fuck you, Molly! I will fight you! Let's go! Molly: Bitch, are you talking to me? the Fuck did I do?

Molly: Listen very carefully, Loren. Your mom's trash. Your dad's trash. Your whole life is trash! Maybe you should just accept... that you're trash.

Well, this is awkward...

So while Radley was busy chewing out Loren for being unnecessarily mean to Molly (after she saved her life that morning), it turned out there was a Peeping Tom having a look through their windows. What the hell man? Yeah, they have a lot of windows and absolutely no blinds — but that doesn't mean you're free to poke around!

He was watching Loren dance around in her PJ's too. Ugh. Gross.

That night I thought it would be a good idea to send the girls on over to Blue Velvet to meet some locals and start networking. This is like the only bar in Willow Creek right?

It looks like Loren still has it out for Molly for some reason. Nothing bad has even happened between them, and Loren isn't a mean sim. I have no idea why she's targeted Molly. Maybe she can sense the "dastardly" nature? 

Let's mingle squad!

Good God there's a celebrity here too. If I'd known I wouldn't have brought the girls here because literally everyone is obsessed with them and keep walking away from us. Uhm, excuse me, we're new in town.

Everyone is literally flocking around her like hungry seagulls. I can smell the desperation! She's trying to hype them up like it's suddenly a party that she's here. Fucking eyeroll.

Molly's just gonna hang and eat some chips then I guess…

Jamming to the music on their own. There is literally no one on the dance floor because they're all over in the corner. Okay, it's time to do something about this! We will not be shown up by a celebrity! We came here to mingle!

Molly: Oh my God I'm such a fan &lt;3

No Molly! What are you doing?! You're better than this! She was immediately ignored after that brief interaction too.

So Solar decided to try her luck as well and was also brutally ignored. Look you guys, if Loren does well as an amateur actress maybe one day you can all say you used to live with someone famous?

Meanwhile Loren has managed to hit it up with the super fans.

Loren: They love their fans because it keeps them famous, but I guarantee they're not what you think they are. You're obsession with celebrities is only going to leave you in heartbreak. It's better you hear it from me ladies. 

That super fan is giving her serious side eye and probably doesn't believe a word she's saying.

Solar: So I just moved here... Makoa: uhuh... Solar: Also I'm sad... Makoa: Great...

Radley: I think I've died sitting up...

And now poor Winter is having a hard time because of all the sims that are around. She's unlocked a new fear! I think it's time I admit that this evening was a huge bust and it's time to send everyone home. Especially Winter.

We'll try again next time guys. Hooray for meeting new people...

First thing Winter did when she got home was pour herself some coffee and sit in silence for a couple of hours. I guess she's decompressing the nights events and enjoying her alone time. I totally get it. The social battery has been depleted. No more socializing for at least 7 days. At least that's how I do it.

Solar hasn't had a day of work yet but she's already grading papers for assignments she never handed out and kids she's never met before. Is that an X? Oh, someone's about to fail!

Loren got an audition for an uncredited gig for a soap commercial. She's so enthused about it she's actually pulling a normal expression as she leaves the house today. Come on baby, this is you're first step to stardom!

Radley is really interested in gardening and has been asking to plant things a lot. Obviously I'm going to give her what she wants so I set up a little gardening area at the back of the house. It's her space &lt;3

And since I felt bad about Winter...

I decided to adopt a cat. She needs it for her aspiration anyway.

Welcome little "Mya" to the family. I thought her floppy ears were too adorable and I couldn't say no. This cat just looked SO HAPPY to finally have a home. If I'm not careful I'm going to adopt another. If I were a sim I'd be the one with all the dogs and cats on my property.

Look at that huge smile! I'm done!

Previous | Archive | Next

[eclairfromleclerc]

Hello people. Here’s the 4th part of the All’s Fair fic. It is longer than the 3 first parts so i hope you will enjoy it a bit more than the rest. I also deleted the 3rd chapter by accident while trying to post this so show it some love if you want. It is literally 4.6K words but I just started writing and I couldn't stop. This is the first part where our characters interact a bit more than before and I am planning to keep writing about those interactions more. Once again please note that this is my first fic and my native language is not english so pardon any grammatical mistakes. I am open to read your comments and maybe your corrections and ideas either on the comments or in anons. Also if anyone wants to be tagged in the next parts don’t hesitate to tell me so. I hope you will enjoy it. Stay tuned for more xx.

All’s Fair

(Toto Wolff x Reader) Chapter 4

chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 3

After seeing Toto's interview on Sky you got so mad so your dad decided he would do the interviews instead and that you would let what he said go unnoticed (not so much since the interview was getting some attention), so you left the track and went back to the hotel you are staying. After having dinner you took a shower, saw the data from the session and you went to sleep. Well at least tried to sleep.

The tension and the nerves his statement caused leave you awake at 6.20 in the morning, after 5 hours of turning around in bed trying to sleep, so you realize that the only thing you can do is chill out by working out before hitting the track for the second day of testing. You wake up regardless of the time and look up on Google any tennis courts in the city. You pack your stuff-your racket and shoes- and put on your white tennis skirt and a t-shirt from Nike. You leave the hotel and drive to the Tennis Club in total silence.

Once you arrive you give your name to the club entrance and get ready to hit the court. The club is nearly empty except for one court, in which there’s someone trying their serves. Not having another option, you walk in the court while checking the stories from a friend’s party back in England. You leave your stuff by the net and when you look up from your phone you see what you absolutely did not want to see.Toto. Out of all the tennis clubs in Manama he chose to go to the exact same that you did. That idiot.

“Good Morning” he says

“Hello” you answer as you accept your fate and get your Roger Federer racket out of your red wilson bag.

“What a coincidence that we bumped into each other.” he tells you looking at you like he knows the answer as to why you were in a tennis club at 7 in the morning

“Yeah I needed to blow some steam off from yesterday.” you reply as you put your phone in your bag

“I did not have you for a Fed fan.” he says as he points to the racket

“Well, what can I say, he's the sport. I am a hundred percent sure that there’s a dictionary that has his name next to the word Tennis. Let me guess, Djokovic?” you tell him trying to make this a little less awkward

“No, actually I am a Roger fan myself. He’s just so great as a person and as an athlete, I really do admire him.”

“Oh I didn’t expect this”. Well at least there’s something that you both agree on

“Roger’s come many times in the garage, he’s a lover of the sport and he’s just as amazing as he seems to be.”

“Okay now stop flexing Mercedes’ ambassadors to me. Let’s play.” you say trying to get out of this small talk

“Ladies serve first.” he tells you tossing you a ball

You take it and start the game. You didn’t do any warm up but you are so ready to play so you serve first. Toto runs to hit the ball back and as it passes to your side of the court you plan your game strategies. You get your first game on the set with a 40-15 score and Toto serves for the second game. You play as aggressively as you can trying to calm the tension that your opponent's comments caused feeling as if you are Federer in that 2019 Wimbledon final, pushing to your absolut limit. Toto’s running up and down the court, side to side and even though the guy is huge he seems to be totally exhausted. At some point you are 5-3 and the ball is yours but at first you take a break for some water.

“You play aggressively huh?” he tells you out of breath

“Well I told you I am blowing some steam off, that’s the reason i came down here this early” you reply

“Slow down there Serena Williams.” he says with a tired face

“So what now you are gonna flex Serena as well?”

“No, I haven't met her yet.”

“You up for a second set?” you ask him

“Well we haven’t even finished the first, but I guess we can play the second one more chilled. We got time.”

“Well I am taking the first set. And the second probably.” you tell him as you walk to your side of the court.

You serve for the last game of the set and you continue playing as you did before, taking the game and the set in a couple of minutes.

“See, I told you.” you yell from the other side of the court and you see him shaking his head and laughing. He takes a ball from his pocket showing you that he is willing for another set. You are still playing in a smart way but not as aggressively as before so he can keep up. Soon enough the score is 5-4 and Toto’s serving.

“Just one break away” you yell

“No, you are not taking this.”

“Well watch me. C'mon I have to be in the paddock by 9”

He serves for the first point of his game but you step your game up and play as you did in the first set. 0-15. Then another serve. 0-30. Another 15-30. You play a wrong stroke and you are now at 30 all. In the next minute you end up with a break point. Toto goes for the first serve. Out. He goes for the second. Out. Double fault.

“YESSSSS” you scream and dance as you beat the man in front of you.

You sit in the middle of the court just to catch a breath and after 2 minutes or so you stand up to pack your things and leave for the hotel. He’s sitting there by the net as you put your racket in your bag.

“You choked on the last point” you laugh

“I did not” he says trying to excuse himself

“It’s okay to accept that you lost Toto, you should learn to do that some time.”

He just sits there looking at the nearby courts without replying probably because you are right.

“I guess I’ll see you in the paddock.” you tell him as you take your bag

“Goodbye.” he says as he stands up

You leave the club feeling energized and confident after your triumph against him and drive to the hotel with some great music in the car.

You get back to the hotel and order some breakfast before you get in the shower. As soon as your breakfast arrives you get out of the bathroom and eat while reading your emails. You pick your clothes for the day, your usual look, wide leg pants and the Red Bull Team Shirt with a pair of nice high heels and dress up. You do your hair and make up, pack your things and go down to the lobby where Christian is waiting for you.

“Morning Dad”

“Oh Jesus, you are early.” he says with a really surprised look.

“See, I am not always late.” you laugh

“Okay let’s go”

You get in your car once again but now with your dad and drive to the track. The usual stuff is happening, fans and photographers take pictures of you as you check your badges and get in the paddock to start the second day of the Bahrain testing.

Sergio is driving today for the team but Max is also here so he sits next to you on the Red Bull Pit Wall. Today’s session includes runs on several set ups to assess which tracks are going to match the car’s potential, as well as some trial laps-as the mechanics called them- in which Checo is supposed to give feedback on any fundamental operation changes. The team is pretty positive from yesterday’s sessions so everyone is calm but focused as car 11 drives out of the garage.

You and Max discuss the data in front of you, comparing what you could with his laps in yesterday’s sessions but you are also discussing random things and paddock gossip.

“Hey wanna grab dinner later after Checo’s debrief and press?” Max proposes

“Yeah sure. Should we make a reservation?”

“I will make one, I have a great place that Lando recommended the other day. It also has great drinks we can have some.”

“Mate you are driving tomorrow…” you tell him

“I know but I am only driving in the afternoon so no problem” he replies

“Say that to the FIA Max. Anyways I am up for the drinks and the food so go book a table.”

“On it boss.” he says as he stands up and goes to a more quiet place to speak on the phone with the restaurant. He comes back some minutes later “Everything is okay, I booked a table for 2 at 8.30. Is this okay?”

“Yeah great Maxy.”

For the rest of the time you see the other cars and their performances and discuss a bit on the radio with Checo. Christian comes by you and Max and you discuss several things. You see the Mercedes garage on your left and everyone is super calm as if they have already won the championship in contrast with Toto’s statements yesterday that they are still questioning their car performance. Just in the usual way that three hour session comes to an end. Sergio comes back to the pits as you and Christian get in the garage to ask him about his thoughts on the car.

“Sergio, my man, tell me something good.” Christian tells him.

“It is good Christian, the car is good. It is easy and fun to drive and with some slight improvements and updates it can be the best.” Sergio answers

“So we are on the same level as Max about the performance and the pace?” you ask

“Pretty much yes.”

“Okay, let’s discuss the rest on the debrief. In 10”

“You are doing Sky today.” Christian turns to you

“Is this really necessary ? I didn’t do Sky yesterday because of the interview, they are still going to ask me about it.” you complain.

“Well deal with it, I let you think this through the whole night. Next time you will only have hours. You are doing Sky after the debrief, end of conversation.”

“Whatever.” you reply as you walk back to your office in the Red Bull hospitality completely mad with your dad.

In the debrief you sit next to Max in your designated spot which thank god is not close to Christian. You tell Max all about what happened yesterday and today with Toto and you take notes for the rest of the debrief being absolutely quiet in parts where you were usually really vocal. At the end of the debrief you ask Adrian to text you his analysis on the data that you collected during the past two days.

You see your dad approaching you “You do realize your input in this is important right?”

“Well I did not feel like I needed to ask anything today, dad.” you tell him

“Your questions make them analyze and think things through better so next time think before destroying a team effort just because you are mad.” he tells you

“Oh for fucks shake dad, you could ask the same questions, that’s what you did before I came. I don’t understand why I have to do it now”

“Because you need to learn. That’s why.”

“Okay. Sorry.” you say feeling a little bad. He was doing all this for you and you still were mad at him.

“Sky is waiting dear.”

“Okay Dad.” you tell him as you leave for the sky media corner.

“Now ladies and gentlemen, I have a very very lovely little lady here. Everyone is excited to finally see her in action in front of the cameras. Here Representing Red Bull Racing is Miss Horner. Hello!” Natalie says

“Hello Nat, glad to be here. I love the dress.” you say as you point at the dress she’s wearing.

“Thank you very much dear. I love the set that you are wearing too. Now let’s get to the important stuff. Sergio drove for the team today, a really nice 3 hour session, lots of runs as well, tell us how satisfied you are with today's data”.

“Well both Sergio and ourselves are satisfied with the results from today, we are really seeing many things about how the car operates, the changes that should be made, how the changes that we have already done impacted the car balance and pace and many more things. Slightly different conditions today but overall there is hope.”

“We also saw Max today here with you, did he personally request to be here?”

“Yes Max wants to see how the car operates in and out. He wanted to have a double perspective so he chose to stay here today and see how we work in the pit wall. He also wanted to know about any changes that Sergio requested.”

“And a word about your opponents cars? Well maybe Mercedes is the constructor which you are watching more closely, they are the ones that you will possibly compete with. Both of the teams opted not to get the first positions in any of this year's testing so I am guessing some mind games?”

“To be honest Natalie, our opponents are essentially the last thing that we are analyzing now. They might be bluffing, they might not. You really can’t say whether their pace will be the same or quicker or maybe slower. I can’t even say it for my team. We have some time till Australia. Until then a team can theoretically change their whole car, they can either get something really right and gain a lot of speed or do something wrong and end up with the backmakers.” you reply

“That’s absolutely right. Now a last question before we let you go, how are you settling in the F1 circus? You said there are people who are supportive about you being here and making your debut but also we got Toto here yesterday saying how early it is to be in that position and generally how a person who just entered this world won’t be able to handle all this pressure. How do you respond?”

“I am happy where I am, Natalie. I am settling in just fine, I have been here in the past, I know how things operate so I don’t have new things to learn just new responsibilities. I have people who love me and my friends here so I think I am all good. I wouldn’t want to comment on anything else.”

“Thank you so much for being here with us today. I wish you a great day.” Natalie says to you.

“Thank you Nat. You too.” you reply as you stand up from the chair and leave

Of course she would ask you about Toto’s statement, but luckily you managed to hide your slight pain and tension that this question caused you. After all, you didn't take all those PR classes in uni for nothing.

After the Sky interview you leave the track and go back to the hotel to get ready for the dinner you had planned with Max. You put on a casual blue dress that you brought with you and go to Max’s room to get him. You knock on the door and it opens showing a casually dressed Max.

“Shall we go?” he tells you

“Well yes, I am hungry as hell. You are driving this time.”

He sighs and you grab him to the elevator. You get to the hotel parking and drive to the restaurant.

You arrive at the restaurant and a waiter shows you your table. You and Max sit down and you order after looking at the menu. Apart from the food you order you also take a bottle of red wine to drink. After 30 minutes or so you have your food and drinks in front of you and you start eating.

“Do you want some more wine Max?”

“No, I won’t drink more than that. I am driving tomorrow.”

“Dude, I was joking, you can drink as much as you want or else I will drink the rest of it myself.” you laugh

“By all means, go ahead. I just needed a glass to go with my food but if you want to drink no problem.”

You and Max continue eating your plates while you are discussing and gossiping about random things. As your glass of wine empties, you refill it. Then again. And again. You start feeling a little tipsy but you keep refilling your glass until the bottle of wine empties. As Max speaks to you, you fail to keep up with the conversation only because your thoughts are mainly about all the comments people made about you. How Toto Wolff basically called you unqualified for the position you are in and how your dad told you that you were ruining the team effort earlier that day. You need more alcohol. You raise your hand and a waiter comes to your side.

“Excuse me, can I have a Scotch” you ask

“Of course. Ice?”

“Yes. Thank you”

As the waiter leaves Max turns to you concerned

“Don’t you think that’s enough with the drinks?”

“Well you told me this place has nice drinks, I came here with the intention to drink.”

“Okay just don’t do anything silly” he says as he has in mind that toxic ex of yours who broke your heart several months ago. He continues with his talk and you try your best not to drown in your thoughts. You drink your scotch and sign for another one.

“Okay missy, I think that’s enough.”

“I am okay Max” you say trying to hide your dizziness.

“This is the last one, I am paying and we are leaving. Lando’s having a gaming night in his hotel room, wanna join?” he proposes.

Your second scotch arrives and you start drinking it

“No no, it’s okay, I’ll just take a taxi and go back to the hotel. I gotta be in the paddock by 9.”

“There’s no way I am leaving you to take a taxi, I will drive you back.”

“I’ll be fine. Besides, Hilton is on the other side of Manama, you won’t do all this for me.” you tell him as you take another sip or two

“Okay but you will text me once you arrive.”

“I will, don’t worry.”

Max signs for the bill and pays for the dinner you both had. You keep drinking your whiskey and Max checks his phone. When you decide you want to leave you try standing up but you are kinda feeling the dizziness from all the drinks that you had.

“Would you be a sweetheart and just hold my arm just in case?” you tell him

He offers you his arm

“Told you you had way too many drinks.”

“I am fine.” you whine as you spot your taxi outside the restaurant. Max leads you to the door and opens it for you.

“I hope you will be alright. Text me when you get to the hotel. Thanks for the company.”

“Thank you Maxy” you say and you close the door.

You ride the taxi on the highways of Manama thinking about all of those things that happened in the past two days, the tension and the nerves, feeling the alcohol flowing in your blood and also feeling like absolute trash about everything everyone’s throwing at you. Well clearly the early tennis match did not help you enough. You need to confront him. You need to confront Toto about everything he said about you.

“Excuse me, can we change the destination to The Ritz hotel?” you say to the taxi driver and he instantly agrees. You hope that you got the right hotel, but they are Mercedes’ sponsors so clearly that’s where they are staying. After a while you arrive outside Ritz and you get out of the taxi, still feeling the -not so- slight dizziness from the drinks. Well shit it might be worse than before but that doesn’t get to you.

You get in the lobby which is nearly empty-well it is midnight it’s not like engineers would be up when there’s the 3rd testing day.

“Hello, may I help you?” you hear the receptionist saying.

“Um yeah,yes. I would like you to tell me the number of Mr.Wolff’s hotel room.” you smile

“Do you have a meeting? Does he know you are here?”

“Well I don’t think he does so let’s keep it this way. So are you able to do this?”

“I am afraid I can’t Miss, it’s the company’s policy.” she replies. You see the name tag on her blazer. Sharon.

“Well Sharon, how much money can change the hotel’s policy?” you tell her as you take out your checkbook.

“I am sorry?” She looks stunned. You write the number 1.500 euros and hand it to her.

“Is this enough for you to tell me his room number?”

“It is 246, the suite. It’s on the first floor as you exit the elevator on your right and straight ahead.”

“Thank you sweetheart.”

You follow her directions ignoring the growing dizziness feeling ready to confront the guy who made the past two days similar to hell. You arrive outside room 246 and you knock on the door loudly. You hear steps coming closer and closer to the door.

The door opens and you see a really surprised Toto.

“What are you doing here?” he asks you looking at his-expensive as fuck- IWC watch “It’s midnight”

“You don’t have the right.” you tell him

“What?”

“I came here to tell you this. You don’t have the fucking right to say all those things you did on the press. You don’t have the right to call me unqualified, you don’t know how much I’ve worked and dreamt for this. This isn’t all because of Christian, I wanted to be here so much that you wouldn’t even understand. So you don’t get to do this to me.” you say tears start streaming down your face

“Is this about the interview on Sky?”

“Yes it is about the fucking interview Toto.” you yell at him

“Are you drunk?”

“What if I am? Yes I am fucking drunk. I had a bottle of wine and two scotches and I came here because I needed to tell you this.”

“Sit down.”

“No you don’t get to tell me what to do.” you cry “I know I am probably just embarrassing myself but guess what? That’s alright for me. Because when you want to say something you say it in someone’s face, not in the press. You are funny, you know that? Yest-”

“Shut up.” he interrupts you.

“No”you scream “Yesterday you were lecturing me about how you don’t get to say things about your enemy in the press and after what twenty five minutes? you went on and did the same fucking thing. You know what, you are so pretentious. You just think you are the best of the best, that you are always right but you are not. You could not even accept that you lost a tennis match. That is the truth. You think you get to judge everyone without being judged so when someone does the same you destroy them. You are a coward. Even I have the guts to tell you this in front of you, you can’t even do this.”

“I said shut the fuck up.”he yells at you and he pins you against the wall.

It is the first time you feel him so close to you, you can see his dark eyes filled with anger and you can see the veins tensing in his neck. You feel his nerves and his breath and you can smell his expensive perfume. For some reason you feel the alcohol taking over your body as you look at his lips and before you can think anything you touch your lips on his.At first you can feel how surprised he is but he instantly kisses you back. You kiss passionately for half a minute that feels more like eternity and you feel all the nerves kinda settling. When that 2% of sober you takes over and you realize what you are doing you break the kiss nervously. The dizziness seems to have doubled, tripled and multiplied many times so you feel everything buzzing about. The last thing you can say is “Fuck” as everything around you turns black and you faint.

Toto’s fast reflexes from being a former racer take over as he manages to get you before you hit the floor. His panic is now through the roof as he has his rival’s daughter unconscious in his hands. He carries you to his bed and lets you down gently trying to think of his next step. Not to mention that he is still kinda surprised from the kiss that you two shared earlier. He opens his mini bar and gets a bottle of water. He opens it and throws a bit to you as he shakes your shoulders and yells your name. You suddenly open your eyes and gasp as you regain your consciousness. You try to stand up

“Sit down.” he tells you

“I am not doing what you tell me to do” you answer

“You know maybe I am that person that can’t accept he’s wrong but you are such a stubborn person. I am twice your age, I know what I am supposed to do. Lie down, you are not leaving in this state.”

“I have to go back to the hotel.”

“Well you can go tomorrow. You are not driving like this. You just fainted for fucks shake.”

“I came here with a taxi, for sure I can take a taxi back to the hotel.”

“Don’t you understand that you are drunk as fuck? You are not going anywhere. You don’t even know what you are doing.” he tells you

“I knew what I was doing when I fucking kissed you.” you yell

“Well I’d like to hear this when you wake up tomorrow. Now sleep.”

“There’s no way I am sleeping in your room. I am leaving Toto.”

“There’s no way I will let you do that. I don’t trust any taxi driver to get you back to the hotel, especially here. And I won’t drive you myself because neither of us would want people to see you drunk and sober me carrying you to your hotel in the middle of the night. You will sleep here and tomorrow morning you will leave for the paddock.”

“Fine. But I won’t sleep in your bed”

“Stay there, I'll sleep on the couch.” he tells you.

He leaves the room and goes back to the couch, he lies there trying to forget what happened but still thinking about everything you told him. You think about your actions and just as you are ready to overthink everything you did and said, you fall asleep on his king sized bed.

This was definitely not something you had planned. Your war plan is not so clear anymore, but you surely won’t let a drunk kiss ruin everything you wanted to achieve. The war is on, even with different terms.

[bang-tan-bitches]

Title: Beloved

Word Count: 17.4k

Rating: M

Genre: Drama/Thriller/Smut

Warnings: Yandere Behavior, Violence, Blood, Character Death, Emotional Manipulation, Hint of Dubious Consent, Unprotected Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Cream Pie, Oral Sex (Female Receiving), Mild Dirty Talk 

Pairing: Emperor!Yoongi X Reader

Summary: Court was just a game of politics after all. And you intended to win

Written By: Admin B

Note: This was entirely inspired by Daechwita and everyone should thank A for indulging my madness and encouraging me

“Are you even listening to me?”

 You jerk at the sound of your younger sister’s voice, the long carriage ride has made you sleepy. You glance over at her and give her an indulgent smile, “I’m sorry, darling. I can only listen to you wax poetic about his Imperial Highness’ esteemed looks for so long before I lose interest.”

You can’t help but laugh when Ara snaps her fan closed and tries to hit you with it, but you block it with your own fan.

“Stop or you’ll wrinkle your dress!” You giggle, “Then what will his majesty think of you?!”

She sits back in her seat, but you can see her eyes are shining with laughter. She looks positively breathtaking in her pale pink ceremonial dress. Her hair is beautifully styled with pearls and ribbons laced throughout. Her maids really made her as eye catching as possible. When the decree was first announced that all single ladies of marriageable age were invited to the palace on behalf of the imperial princess to find a bride for his majesty, you were concerned. You know Ara had fallen hopelessly in love with the emperor the one and only time she saw him, having begged father to take her to court with him two years prior. Ever since then she had this fairy tale dream in her head that they were meant to be together and you were terribly afraid of her getting hurt. 

“He really is beautiful,” her eyes are dreamy as she glances out the carriage window, “did I tell you how his hair is so pale that it practically shines like moonlight?”

“Yes, yes,” the sarcasm clear in your voice, “He is the most handsome and benevolent ruler our land has ever seen!” 

“He is,” you sister insists, “even with the scar!”

“He has a scar? I thought that was just a rumor.” You look out the carriage window to see how far you are from the palace. The ride seemed longer than usual, but that could have just been your boredom with the topic. You had no interest in politics - not that that had stopped your father from teaching you - and avoided going to court as much as possible. You had never even been in the presence of the emperor or the imperial princess. Ara had no interest in politics either, but that didn’t stop her dreams of becoming Empress.

“Oh! It’s not a rumor!” Your sister straightens her posture, “There’s a scar that covers his right eye! He got it during the great war when he was still the crown prince.”

“Why didn’t he -”

“Why didn’t he have the Imperial healers treat him and remove the scar?” Your sister cuts you off before you can finish your question, “He wanted a reminder to never show leniency. He was betrayed by some of his own men that weren’t loyal to the crown. He slaughtered not only the betrayers, but also their entire families.”

You furrow your brows and fix the long sleeves of your ceremonial dress, uncomfortable with the emperor’s apparent brutality, “Sounds cruel.”

“It’s not cruel. He had to ensure that no one would try to get revenge. He was protecting our kingdom from those that would try to take it!”

“Of course, of course,” you placate your sister and roll your eyes at her fervent defense of his highness.

“Don’t roll your eyes, I’m terribly sorry everyone can’t be as noble as your dear Namjoon.”

You frown, “First of all, he is Lord Kim and he deserves your respect. Secondly, he isn’t my dear anything. Nothing has been finalized. There has only been talk of marriage, but no contracts are in place.”

Ara scoffs, “Everyone knows he absolutely adores you. His eyes get all big and his cheeks turn bright pink whenever he sees you.”

You smile wistfully and look down at your lap, “He is rather adorable.”

“Mmmhmm and if it was up to him you would already be married and probably with child.”

“Ara, it is impolite to discuss such things.” You scold gently, “What if someone overheard you?”

“Who?” Ara dramatically looks around the carriage before resting back against her seat, “Who can possibly hear us? There is only me and you in this carriage. No one is going to hear us.”

“Still, you need to be appropriate, you cannot slip up at the palace.”

You both sit in silence for a moment, Ara with closed eyes gently fanning herself while you contemplate how to bring up what’s been weighing heavily on your mind. Your younger sister was spoiled and had always gotten her way, even you were guilty of indulging her every whim. You were terribly worried that she would not adjust to court life well. Your understanding was that the women could be even more vicious than the men and you needed to prepare her.

You chew your lip before deciding to broach the delicate topic, “I heard another rumor about your emperor.”

“Mmm… what’s that?” Ara opens one eye to look at you.

“I heard,” you lean forward and lower your voice, “that his harem is… extensive.”

Ara pouts adorably, “It is. Apparently he has over 300 concubines.”

“300? That has to be an exaggeration. No man would want 300 concubines. Although,” you continue quietly, “he is the emperor and a large harem would show off his wealth and power. Does he have a favorite among them?”

“Ugh,” you watch Ara’s eyes darken in anger, “Concubine Nam In-Suk. She is his favored concubine and I heard the only reason she wasn’t named his empress is because Imperial Princess Min would not allow it.”

“Why would the emperor care what his elder sister thinks?” You already know the answers to all these questions, but you hope that asking them will help Ara realize what she needs to do to secure her place as empress. The carriage starts to slow, you were almost to the palace and wouldn’t have much time alone to prepare her going forward and no time alone once you’d arrived.

“She is his advisor and closest confidant. He trusts her with everything.”

“Ara,” you grab your sister’s hand and give her a meaningful look, “It is very important that you gain the favor of Imperial Princess Min. If you have her blessing, you will not be denied. Most of the silly girls will be striving for Emperor Min’s attention, not realizing that the imperial princess is making the final choice.”

Ara nods her head, determined. “I will gain her favor.”

“Also,” you know she will hate what you are about to suggest, but it has to be done, “You need to become friendly with Concubine Nam.”

“Never!” Ara gasps and tries to pull away, “As soon as I’m chosen as empress I will make him disband his harem!”

“Ara, you cannot!” You lean close and let the severity of your demand bleed into your tone, “You must become friendly and show you are not a threat.” 

“But I am a threat…” she pushes her lip out in a pout. 

You squeeze her hand, “I know, darling. But court politics are not that different from bedroom politics. He will not get rid of his harem just because you demand it. If Concubine Nam thinks she can manipulate and play you, she will be less of a threat. She has his ear and his favor. Let them think you are stupid little girl with stars in her eyes. It will bend them to your will.”

 “But,” Ara’s voice is quiet, “I want him to love only me.”

“Oh my beloved Ara,” you hold her close to you, “these things take time. Once you bed him and provide an heir, you will secure your place at his side. He will have to love and cherish only you. How could he not?”

Her smile is blinding when the carriage stops outside the palace gates. 

-0-0-0-

“Relax,” you whisper, “you are the most beautiful lady here. You have nothing to fear.”

Ara releases her bottom lip and nods subtly. When you had arrived at the palace earlier that day, you were welcomed inside to a large hall filled with other single young ladies and their chaperones, all from the most prominent families in the kingdom. Imperial Princess Min herself greeted everyone and announced that a welcome banquet would be held that evening. You were then ushered to your rooms where you could refresh yourselves before the evening. The Daisy Courtyard would serve as your temporary home for the next few weeks. It was a smaller courtyard, but it was beautiful and secluded and you were thankful to learn that it was nowhere near the concubine courtyard. 

It was almost impossible to remember how quiet the courtyard was now. 

Now, in the palace banquet room awaiting the arrival of the emperor for what felt like hours with the crowd growing more restless by the minute, you dearly missed the seclusion. Imperial Princess Min was present, drinking wine and enjoying the performance of the dancers brought in for entertainment. If she was upset with the late arrival of her brother, her face did not show it.

The music abruptly stops and everyone quiets down. The large golden doors at the back of the room are opened and an imperial servant steps in, placing their fisted hand over their heart, they bow and announce, “His Royal Highness, Emperor Min Yoongi, 37th Emperor of the Min Dynasty.”

Everyone immediately bows, giving reverence to the Emperor. He is dressed in the darkest black with gold dangling from his ears, neck, and fingers.  His blond hair is pulled up into a high topknot and a black headband is across his forehead. 

You notice a beautiful woman trailing a few steps behind him. She is covered in diamonds. They glitter from her shiny black hair down to the long train of her bright purple ceremonial dress. The dress itself is decorated in patterns of golden tigers, matching the pattern of the emperor’s black robe.

By the clenching of Ara’s hands, you realize that this must be Concubine Nam. You discreetly nudge your sister and mouth for her to relax. 

The emperor takes his seat on his golden dragon throne, while his favored concubine sits obediently at his feet. His presence is overpowering and you can feel his displeasure radiating throughout the room.  

“So… I was told that one of you will be this emperor’s bride and empress consort.” Emperor Min’s voice is deep and controlled, but the underlying fury is unmistakable. You can feel his eyes trail over the room, “Do you really think that one of you will enrapture this emperor? Do you truly believe one of you will become my chosen?”

Everyone is deathly silent, afraid of angering his highness even more. You can feel his penetrating gaze stop on you. You did not dare look upon the face of the emperor. You knew the rules of the court. You keep your eyes lowered and wait for his eyes to move past you. 

They don’t.

You can still feel him staring at you and after several silent minutes you hesitantly look up and meet his eyes. You feel your breath catch in your throat. He is startlingly beautiful. His features are delicate but his scar provides him a hint of roguishness that accentuates his already extraordinary beauty. 

His gaze is intense and you can feel his angry aura disappear to something unreadable. His dark eyes are burning with something as a devilishly handsome smile spreads across his face.

You quickly lower your eyes and ignore the chill down your spine and the heat spreading across your face. You now understand how your sister could be so enraptured with one look. 

The emperor laughs, startling you into looking again. He’s staring at his sister and smiling. You can see Concubine Nam’s face screwed up, but staring at the floor. You look away quickly before he can feel your stare. His voice is filled with warmth and something else, something unsettling, “Maybe this emperor will finally meet his bride amongst the ladies here today. Rise and enjoy the welcome feast.”

Immediately servants present platters of food to the various tables and the music starts again. You ignore the burning gaze you feel on you and direct your attention to Ara.

“Make sure you eat. You have to be strong if you plan to carry the next heir of the kingdom.” You add more food to her plate.

“Yes, yes,” Ara giggles and pushes your hand away, “I could feel him staring in our direction. Did you feel it too?”

You force a smile, “Of course. How could he not stare at you. I told you that you were the most beautiful lady here.”

When it’s your turn to introduce yourselves to the royal family, you make sure to keep your head low and only make eye contact with Imperial Princess Min once you’re allowed to rise. Next to you, your sister does the same, following your example, even as you feel the hot eyes of the emperor on you once again. Ara pays a pretty compliment to the Princess, and you smile proudly when the Princess laughs delightedly and asks for your names. 

“Oh, I remember you. And your father.” Princess Min says, a delicate finger resting on her bottom lip. She shares a look with her brother and you can feel the hateful eyes of Concubine Nam on you and your sister. You ignore her. You needed Ara to win over Princess Min before she won the hearts of anyone else. “I look forward to getting to know you once again. Both of you.” 

You smile, and bow again before moving on to let the others greet the royal family. 

Ignoring the heavy weight of Emperor Min’s gaze, you try to keep your sister distracted and engaged during the remainder of the banquet. For every goblet of wine your sister has, you make sure she also has a goblet of water. You don’t want her embarrassing herself in front of the other eligible ladies. You relax once the emperor’s gaze is no longer focused on you and take the chance to glance towards the throne, noticing the emperor in a deep discussion with his sister. The imperial princess has a strange smile on her face and is nodding her head along to whatever his highness is saying. You also notice that Concubine Nam is nowhere to be seen.

“Where did Concubine Nam go?”

“What?” Ara quickly looks around the large hall, her voice tinged with excitement, “Concubine Nam? His highness must have sent her away.”

"Strange..” you take a delicate bite of the fresh dumplings brought out by the servants, smiling a bit at how excited Ara is to find her possible rival missing, “I thought she never left his side.”  

“Well…” Ara is interrupted by the arrival of an imperial maid. The maid bows her head respectively and holds a silver tray with a folded golden parchment.

You grab the parchment and slowly open it, quickly read the contents, fold it and place it back on the tray. “Please tell your mistress we accept.”

The maid bows and scurries away. You watch her go and keep a calm mask on your face, even as your heart is racing. You knew the point of these banquets and festivities was to find the Emperor a bride, but to receive an invitation so quickly… You notice many of the young ladies in attendance are watching and you refuse to show any sort of emotion. 

Court was just a game of politics after all. And you intended to win. For Ara. 

Ara grabs your hand under the table where no one can see, “What was that about?”

“Ara, did you bring that pretty pale green dress that grandfather gifted you for your birthday last year?” You take a sip of your wine, and keep your tone low.

“Of course.” Ara nods her head and grabs some fruit slices from one of the platters on the table, but by the tenseness of her shoulders, you could feel her excitement. You would have to instruct her on how to hide it better. 

“Good. Wear it tomorrow.” You squeeze her hand, “we are invited to the morning meal with Imperial Princess Min.”

-0-0-0-

Imperial Princess Min’s courtyard and private rooms are absolutely gorgeous. Everything is draped in golds and pastels and smells of the fresh flowers that are placed throughout her rooms. The three of you sit at a finely crafted table in her pavilion, the only sounds are the bubbling of the large fountain nearby and the tinkling of the platters of food as they are placed upon the table before you. 

“Thank you for joining me this beautiful morning.” Princess Min smiles sweetly at you both, once you rise from your bow, gesturing for a maid to pour tea, “I do hope you enjoy the meal.”

“We are honored to be invited by her majesty for a meal. Thank you.” You bow your head reverently and sit in the chair the maid has pulled out. 

“Yes, thank you, your highness.” Your sister follows suit. The plates are quickly set with delicious smelling food, but you can only sip your tea, taking your cue from the princess who has barely glanced at her plate. 

“Tell me,” Princess Min takes a dainty sip of tea, “Are you enjoying your time at the palace?”

“It is very beautiful here. We are forever indebted to the emperor and the imperial princess for allowing us to visit.” You keep your voice soft and your sister nods along, her cheeks slightly puffed with the food she has in her mouth.

“And your rooms…” Princess Min continues, directing a maid to put some kimchi on her plate, “are they to your liking?”

“Yes your majesty. The Daisy courtyard is beautiful. Thank you for gracing us with such lovely lodgings.”

The princess inclines her head briefly and smiles, “What do you think of the emperor?”

“Oh, he is wonderful. The best ruler our empire has ever seen.” Ara gushes enthusiastically, “May our emperor live ten thousand years!”

You and Princess Min share a small smile, both seeing that Ara is completely infatuated with his highness. You take a small bite of the delicious food on your plate as Ara continues to praise the emperor. 

“And you?” Princess Min interrupts your sister and turns her gaze on you. Her dark eyes are so similar to her brother that it catches you off guard for a moment, “What do you think of the emperor?”

You didn’t understand why but you feel like your answer holds more weight than your sister’s. You lick your suddenly dry lips, smile demurely at the imperial princess and respond as blandly but nicely as possible, “His highness is a most generous and benevolent king.”

“That he is.” Princess Min smiles and glances at your sister, “And what are your thoughts on his harem?”

Your sister is quiet for a moment and you can see her struggling with finding what she wants to say, you gracefully answer for her, “I’m sure my sister would be most grateful to have others help serve the emperor.”

“Yes!” Ara nods eagerly, “I am most grateful that the emperor has many to keep him company.”

Princess Min hides a giggle behind her hand and you tilt your head, curious what could make the Princess giggle like that. 

“Indeed. You may be grateful for the… help.”

Your eyes widen but Ara continues to look confused. You share a look with the Princess before she continues, “My brother, the Emperor, has a… healthy appetite.” 

As if summoned by your discussion of him, your meal is interrupted by the arrival of a servant stepping into the pavilion, “His Royal Highness, Emperor Min Yoongi, 37th Emperor of the Min Dynasty.”

You and Ara quickly place down your chopsticks and stand from your seats to bow properly. 

“You may rise.” The emperor’s voice is deeper than you remember. He is dressed in an informal black robe patterned with crimson lotus flowers. Thick golden necklaces rest against his collarbones and his pale hair is pulled up into another topknot. You notice that his long, golden earrings aren’t as extravagant as the ones he wore the night before. You and Ara quickly return to your seats.

“Here is my darling sister.” The Emperor gently kisses Princess Min’s cheek before sitting in the empty chair that is placed directly across from you by a servant. “I hope you do not mind if I join you three for the morning meal.”

“Imperial Brother I can see right through you.” Princess Min giggles, “You just want to look at my pretty company.”

You feel your breath hitch when the emperor locks eyes with you, a dangerous smile pulling at his full lips, “Can you blame me? I cannot remember the last time I’ve been so enchanted.”

Princess Min smiles and glances between you and your sister, “The sisters are true beauties.”

“Indeed,” The emperor's eyes flicker to your sister before focusing back on you, “It’s refreshing to know that a father did not exaggerate his claims of his daughters’ virtues.”

"Our beauty does not dare compare to the Imperial Princess." Your sister answers perfectly, the flattery clear in her voice. You see the smile spread across Princess Min’s face, clearly pleased with Ara’s answer. 

Princess Min and Ara chatter for a while, the emperor occasionally joining the conversation, but his burning gaze never leaves your face. If anyone else notices his attention on you, they dare not mention it. You stay quiet, trying not to draw any attention away from Ara. You are proud of your sister, she is so poised as she engages in conversation with the royals. You were worried she would freeze up, or even worse, prattle on incessantly about nothing. You motion for a servant to refill your teacup and are startled when the emperor waives the servant away, refilling your cup himself. “Please, allow me.”

Everything stops around you at his actions, even the servants seem to freeze in place. You glance at your sister and the imperial princess, both completely in shock at the emperor’s generosity. Although you notice the imperial princess has a look of unbridled delight in her dark eyes.

“Thank you, your grace.” You incline your head and keep your face impassive. Only years of training drilled into you by your tutors prepared you for this. A lady must always be composed and even though you feel like your heart is going to beat out of your chest, you keep calm. You have no idea why his eminence would pour your tea as if he was your servant, but did not dare question his actions. 

The silence lasts longer than is socially acceptable and when you dare to look at him, the emperor’s eyes are already focused on you. You can feel Ara’s eyes darting between the two of you, but you can only focus on the emperor. He opens his mouth to say something when your meal is interrupted by several maids rushing into the room. His eyes release you from your trance as he looks away. 

You tell yourself that you’re grateful for the interruption. 

“Your highness!!!” They all drop to their knees once they see the emperor, their heads touching the ground, “Your highness you must hurry. Concubine Nam has collapsed!”

You glance at the maids in alarm and look back at the emperor, his brows furrowed, “Have the imperial healers been summoned?”

“Of course, your highness.” The head maid answers, rising from her bow. You realize that they must have been the personal maids of Concubine Nam. The other maids remain on their knees, foreheads pressed to the ground. 

The emperor turns away from the maids and takes a sip of his tea, dismissing them without words. You watch the head maid bite her lip before taking a step forward, “Please your highness, she is calling for you.”

You can see the displeasure on the emperor’s face. His eyes are angry, but the anger fades when he looks at you. He stares at you for a moment as if he’s waiting for your approval. You swallow and glance at the maids before meeting his gaze, “Your highness, please forgive this lowly maiden for speaking out of turn, but your beloved needs you. You should be at her side.”

“My beloved?” His voice is filled with mirth, and you wonder what is so humorous.

“Yes, your majesty.” You continue, licking your lips. His eyes follow your tongue. “Everyone knows she is your favored concubine. She needs you. You must attend to her.”

“You’re right.” His smile disarms you, again causing your breath to catch. “I must do what my beloved asks of me.”

With a swirl of his black robes, he is gone. The maids and his personal servants trailing behind him. 

The silence left by the emperor’s abrupt departure is broken by the tired sigh of the Imperial Princess. “I apologize for Imperial Brother.”

“No, no,” you immediately respond, seeing a forlorn expression on the princess’ face, “It’s alright. Concubine Nam needs him. I do hope she is alright.”

“Yes, hopefully it is nothing serious.” Your sister cannot hide the distaste in her voice at the mention of the concubine.

“Oh, it’s nothing serious.” The princess laughs scornfully, “Concubine Nam always pulls some sort of devious trick whenever she thinks my brother’s attention might be taken away from her.”

You glance in the direction the emperor disappeared, “Does she?”

“Yes. It’s pathetic.” 

You choke back a giggle when the princess rolls her eyes and instantly feel yourself relax. 

“She thinks she has my brother wrapped around her finger. Always throwing a tantrum or faking some sort of illness.” She sneers and shakes her head, looking at you as if confiding something, “Several months ago, when I first spoke to my brother about finding a potential bride, I thought for sure that she would do something then, but it looks like the little bitch was just biding her time.”

“That is terrible.” If Ara is shocked at the vulgar language used by the princess, her face doesn’t show it. She is calm and poised and while you know she has a million questions she wants to ask, she is keeping her composure until the two of you are alone in your courtyard. “Hopefully his highness sees through her tricks.”

“She’s not half as clever as she thinks she is. He knows exactly what she is doing, but he indulges her.”

“I’m sure his majesty has his reasons,” you smile at the princess, “have faith in your brother.”

Princess Min stares at you, a contemplative look on her face. You don’t know what she is looking for, but after a few quiet moments she smiles beautifully, “Yes. Of course, you’re right. I have faith in the emperor. He was chosen by the gods to rule our kingdom.”

“May he live ten thousand years.” Ara says solemnly. You and Princess Min murmur in agreement.

“Still,” Princess Min’s voice is resolute as she gestures for a maid to refill her tea cup, “Concubine Nam cannot be trusted. Be careful.”

You sip your tea, pushing thoughts of the emperor’s dark eyes to the back of your mind and wonder just how much danger your sister is in.

-0-0-0-

When you return to your courtyard, servants are rushing around packing your trunks..

“Excuse me,” you feel bad interrupting one of the maids, but you have no idea what is going on and can’t help but fear the worst, “what is happening?”

“My lady,” the maid bows her head, “we have orders to move you and your sister to the Golden Bell courtyard.”

You frown and watch the servants continue to carry out your things, Ara clutches your hand, “On whose orders?”

“His Royal Highness.”

“As you were.” You dismiss the maid and turn towards Ara. You can see the excitement in her eyes. She’s practically vibrating. You nod for her to follow you out to the main yard where an imperial carriage is waiting to take you to your new courtyard.

“Sister,” She whispers, “The Golden Bell Courtyard. That’s closer to Imperial Princess Min’s private courtyard.”

“I know.”

-0-0-0-

The Golden Bell Courtyard is stunning. The main yard is filled with the fragrant Golden Bell flowers and the rooms were at least twice the size of your previous courtyard. Ara is practically giddy with excitement as she throws herself down on the large bed in the room you chose.

“He must already be in love with me.” 

“Why wouldn’t he be?” You were surprised Ara was able to contain herself until the servants left. 

“Everything is so luxurious.”

“It is.” You sit yourself at the fancy dressing table in the corner of the room and check your reflection in the bronzed mirror, “You should get used to this.”

Ara giggles and snuggles into the soft bedding. You watch her through the mirror and smile at her behavior. She was still so young and you wish you could shelter her forever. You still worried about her marrying into the imperial family, but you felt a little better knowing that Imperial Princess Min seems to have warmed to her. “You need to thank his majesty at tonight’s banquet.” 

“Of course.” Your sister smiles and throws a soft goose feather pillow in the air, “I will make sure to thank him for his hospitality.”

-0-0-0-

Unfortunately, Emperor Min is not at the banquet that night. In fact, you were informed, for the next fourteen days he would not be attending any of the events Imperial Princess Min had scheduled.

You can tell the princess is upset. Her smile seems a little more strained and while she is able to handle everything as a hostess should, you can tell she is very stressed about whatever the emperor is currently handling. You have a strong suspicion it is related to Concubine Nam, but it is not your place to ask questions so you remain quiet. You do, however, try your best to help where you can, becoming a steadfast and loyal companion to her majesty, continuing to have meals with her whenever she requests and spending many afternoons in her pavilion with her. She would ask your opinions of the young ladies from the different households and tell you about what would be required of the empress consort. As the days moved along, the princess dismissed more and more of the potential brides for his majesty until only a handful were left. You were pleased that Ara seems to be the favorite.

You sit across from the Imperial Princess. She sent you a note at the morning meal requesting you to join her in her plum blossom garden this afternoon. You can tell the princess is upset. Her lips are pursed and her fingers are white as she grips her cup of tea tightly. You're afraid the delicate cup might crack. 

“Your majesty’s plum blossom garden is beautiful. It must be the most fragrant and lovely plum blossom garden in all of the empire.”

Imperial Princess Min gives you a soft smile. She dismisses the servants and they step back so they are out of hearing range, but close enough to see if her highness requires anything.

“Concubine Nam is with child.”

You are silent for a moment. You keep yourself composed and don’t dare show your thoughts on your face. Your mind is frantically trying to process what this means. How could this have happened? What does this mean for Ara? 

You swallow and gently speak, “Princess Min, please forgive this simple one for questioning, but I thought it was against the imperial law for a concubine to bear children?”

“It is.” Princess Min throws her tea cup on the ground in anger, two imperial maids rush over to clean up the shattered mess and prepare another cup of tea for her majesty. Once the servants step away, the Princess continues, “She stopped drinking the herbal tea the day my brother agreed to find a bride.”

“Will Concubine Nam be punished?” You don’t look at the princess when you ask, you focus on the full cup of tea in front of you.

“If she is punished, it won’t be until after she gives birth.” Princess Min takes a small bite of sweet cake, “The little bitch thinks the emperor will make her his empress consort.”

“Will he?” 

“No,” Princess Min gives you a reassuring smile, “He will choose someone most deserving.” Her eyes shift as she stares at you until you feel you have to look away. “He’s been diligently working on preparing everything for his chosen consort. That and this unfortunate incident with Concubine Nam has kept him busy.”

You feel relief to know that Concubine Nam’s schemes do not seem to be working. And from the knowing smile the princess gives you, you feel elated that Ara will definitely be chosen as the consort. “What of the child?”

“The child will be recognized as a prince of the kingdom, but not an heir. Only the Empress can provide an heir.” Princess Min still looks unhappy, “I hope this won’t affect things going forward.”

It almost sounds like a question, as if she’s asking you if it will affect things. But you know that can’t be. You release a breath you didn’t know you were holding. This news will be upsetting to Ara, but not all is lost. This can still be salvaged. She could still marry and become the empress. Her child will still be the rightful heir. “No, I’m sure my sister will love any child that his highness produces.”

“Oh, yes, of course your sister would.” Princess Min gives you a curious smile, her dark eyes shining as if she’s amused. She takes your free hand in hers, “I hope I can request your confidence in this matter.” She says and gives your hand an almost too tight squeeze, “This must not be told to anyone.”

“Of course,” You nod your head solemnly, “I won’t say a word.”

 -0-0-0-

The Emperor continues to absent himself from any events involving the possible consorts for the next several days. Even though it had yet to be announced, you knew he had already decided on an empress consort, therefore he did not need to attend any of the lavish events and parties his sister had scheduled. Though as the days progress and nothing more happens, you grow more and more concerned over Ara’s position until finally you are moved again to an even larger, more extravagant courtyard. 

The Mugunghwa Courtyard. 

The Mugunghwa Courtyard was reserved for the empress consort and is located directly next to the emperor’s private courtyard. The servants treat you and your sister like royalty, you are given the same respects the emperor and his sister are provided. Ara is enjoying the envious glares she receives from the other ladies and you allow her to enjoy her victory, but remind her to be polite and courteous to the servants because they will be her eyes and ears to what is happening in the other courtyards(including the harem).

Soon after you’re comfortably moved into the Mugunghwa Courtyard, the gifts begin arriving. Some days when you return to your rooms after the festivities, you find fresh Mugunghwa flowers on your bed. One morning you wake up and find a bottle of sweet perfumed oil. You know that it isn’t uncommon for a groom to bestow gifts upon his bride’s family, but you’re a little uncomfortable as the days progress and the gifts become more elaborate. Silk slippers, golden hairpieces, diamond necklaces… it’s all too much. Ara has also been receiving small gifts, flowers and oils. You don’t know why, but you don’t mention the jewelry or clothing to her. 

You continue to spend time with Imperial Princess Min, her personal servants would invite you, and only you, to have a private audience with her almost daily. Once, you asked her where the emperor was, as you had not seen him since breakfast almost a week ago. She had smiled at you as if you’d said the one thing she longed to hear, and informed you he’d been out of the palace. Taking care of business. But assures you that he would return soon. 

“If you would like, we can invite him to breakfast again.” She takes your arm and giggles, as if breakfast with her brother is against the rules. “But I might get jealous if my soon-to-be sister pays more attention to my brother than me.” 

Your heart soars at her words. This is practically confirmation that Ara will be chosen!

She keeps you updated on the goings on with Concubine Nam. The child is growing strong, and Concubine Nam has already started showing a small bump on her otherwise perfect body. While you never wish harm on anyone, you cannot hide your small sense of satisfaction when you're told that Concubine Nam is visibly distraught over the fact that the emperor has not once visited her since she collapsed.

You are still very concerned about Ara finding out about the pregnancy. You have kept your word and stayed silent on the matter, but you know Ara’s bubble of happiness will burst once she is made aware. You spend many of your days touring the multiple gardens of The Mugunghwa Courtyard in contemplation, trying to decide if you should tell Ara what is happening. 

You’re taking a leisurely stroll in the hibiscus garden when you suddenly feel like you’re being watched. This happens most days when you’re alone in the gardens, but no one is ever around so you dismiss it as your imagination. You startle when you hear the emperor’s deep voice call your name.

You spin around quickly and meet the burning gaze of the emperor. He’s dressed in his signature black robe, but this one is patterned with dark blue koi fish. His pale hair is pulled back in a low ponytail with a black headband across his forehead. Today he is wearing one long golden earring and a heavy golden choker around his throat. 

You briefly wonder if he would adorn his Empress in so much gold. 

“Your highness!” You immediately remember yourself and bow low.

You are still bent low and staring at the ground when you see a long black robe come into view. You feel a gentle finger under your chin and your head is tilted up until you’re standing again and staring directly up into the emperor’s perfect face.

He continues to stare at you, his eyes swirling with emotion. His finger moves from your chin to rub along your bottom lip and your eyes close involuntarily. He leans closer and you can smell the clean scent of his skin. You feel his breath on your lips…

The sound of a throat clearing jolts you. You snap your eyes open and immediately step away from the emperor’s personal space. Emperor Min is glaring heatedly at a eunuch who is standing several feet behind him. The eunuch looks apologetic, but you are grateful. 

“Your majesty, are you also here to tour the gardens?” You can feel your cheeks heat and you absentmindedly smooth out your dress. “The hibiscus garden is especially fragrant this time of year.”

His eyes are gentle when he looks at you. He gives you a soft smile, “No. I am here to see you.”

“Me? I do not know what I have done to deserve your attention. How can I help his majesty?”

Emperor Min’s voice is serious, “You deserve more than my attention. You deserve everything.”

You turn away from his penetrating gaze, focusing on a nearby flower, “Your highness has been very kind to me and my sister. I cannot thank you enough.”

“Do not thank me.” The emperor chuckles, “I am a king. I always have an ulterior motive.”

You realize he is most likely speaking of Ara. As Ara’s elder sister, you know you have the most influence over her and her opinions. He is trying to gain your favor so she will be more likely to accept his suit, but he must know that Ara is already in love with him. Princess Min would never keep that information from him.

“I have a gift for you.”

“Another gift?” You look up at his handsome face, “I couldn’t possibly accept anything else. You’ve been so generous already.” 

Faster than you can blink, his face is so close to yours, you can feel the brush of his lips as he speaks, his hand on your chin and eyes locked with yours. 

“I am the emperor. It is my divine right to give what I want, and to take what I want. Do you understand?” 

You blink and quickly lower your eyes, unable to bow your head, “Yes, your highness.” 

He moves away and you catch yourself before you can stumble from the suddenness of it all. 

“Eunuch Ki.” Emperor Min gestures and the eunuch steps forward holding a small wooden box, golden dragons painted on it. Eunuch Ki opens the box and you cannot stop your gasp when the contents are revealed. A beautifully hand carved jade bracelet is nestled within. You can see that your name is engraved in it along with the symbols of beauty and love. 

Emperor Min holds out his hand, waiting for you to give him yours. You place your hand in his and watch quietly as he gently pushes up the sleeve of your dress. His hand is so much larger than yours and you shiver when his thumb gently rubs along your wrist.

Eunuch Ki hands him the bracelet and he tenderly clasps it around your wrist. 

“Perfect.”

 You feel something inside you stir, “It’s lovely.” 

 “Not as lovely as the wrist it adorns,” he meets your eyes, “it becomes you.” 

You know you should pull away, part of you desperately wants to pull away. But he is the Emperor, and you know better. 

“Ara loves her gifts too!” You blurt out, trying desperately to control the way your heart is pounding. 

His face scrunches in thought and he tilts his head, “Ara… yes. Your sister. I’m glad she enjoys her gifts as well.” He raises your hand, flips it in his, and places a kiss on the inside of your wrist, lips brushing the cool jade beads. “Don’t take it off.” He commands, before leaving you alone once more. 

-0-0-0-

After that, you did not go into the gardens alone, always making sure Ara or Princess Min is with you. While you never did run into the Emperor in the gardens again, you still sometimes felt his burning gaze on you, but when you looked around, he was never there.

Today, you and Ara are staying in your own courtyard. You feel that both of you need a break from court. You know you certainly do. You have already had your morning meal in your rooms and were currently relaxing in one of the many drawing rooms. You smile as Ara pricks her finger again on her needlework. “Be careful Ara. A lady's hands should be soft and delicate.”

You can’t hide your laughter at the adorable glower she gives you. “Why do I have to do this? When I’m empress, I’ll have the royal seamstresses do this for me.”

“It’s a good skill to have and maybe your husband would want a personalized gift from you.”

Ara pouts but doesn’t say anything else. You sit in comfortable silence, her trying to embroider and you snacking on small sweet cakes. The days seem to be getting slightly cooler and you were appreciative. You didn’t know how long this consort selection was going to take, but you were already longing for home. You had written several letters to your father, letting him know of Ara’s progress and wanting to hear any news from home. You were hoping maybe your marriage to Lord Kim would be finalized, but unfortunately, there was no news about that. Your father seemed to avoid mentioning Lord Kim at all. As for Lord Kim himself, you sent him a few brief letters asking after his health and wellbeing, but had yet to receive a response. He was normally very quick to reply to your letters, but you brushed off his lack of response due to the fact that he must be very busy.

Your musings are interrupted by the arrival of several imperial servants and a finely dressed eunuch. They are carrying two large golden trunks and place them down in front of you and your sister. The eunuch steps forward and bows low.

“My ladies,” You recognize the eunuch as the emperor’s most trusted servant, Eunuch Ki, the one who was at his side in the hibiscus garden, “His Royal Highness would be most pleased if the mistresses would accept his gifts.”

You and Ara share a look and you quickly stand from the soft, golden sofa, “Thank you, Eunuch Ki. We are honored to receive gifts from his eminence.”

The large golden trunks are opened and you can hear Ara’s gasp of delight. The emperor has provided each of you a ceremonial dress made of fine, silk fabric and beautiful hair ornaments. Ara’s dress is a gorgeous light blue patterned with silver butterflies. The matching hair ornament is a hair pin styled in beautiful swirls of silver and jade, a single butterfly resting on top.  

Your dress is colored a rich gold and patterned with black mandarin ducks, diamonds line the long sleeves and train. The matching hair ornament is also a hair pin, but it looks to be solid gold with two mandarin ducks resting on top of a bed of orchids made out of diamonds. You hesitate at the pattern on the dress, unsure if this is a mistake. 

“If it pleases the mistresses, his highness requests you wear his gifts to the Grand Banquet tomorrow evening.”

“Of course, we would be delighted.” Ara beams at Eunuch Ki when you don’t respond right away, your eyes still focused on the pattern on your dress. 

“Eunuch Ki,” you follow him to the entrance of the drawing room, your voice quiet so others cannot overhear, “I feel there might be a mistake.” You gesture to your dress and your eyes flicker towards an oblivious Ara.

Eunuch Ki eyes you for a moment, his look is heavy and almost pitying, “The Emperor does not make mistakes.”

You swallow hard and nod at Eunuch Ki, closing the door behind him and turn to look at Ara. She’s already holding the dress up against herself and admiring it in the mirror. 

The Emperor might not make mistakes, but you were beginning to think you had. 

-0-0-0-

You slowly make your way towards the courtyard of the imperial princess. After Eunuch Ki had left last night, you received a summons from the Imperial Princess. She requested you to meet her for afternoon tea the following day before the grand banquet. 

This side of the palace was oddly quiet. You knew that everyone was preparing for the grand banquet, so all the activity would be much livelier near the grand banquet hall. You had yet to see that hall, apparently it was large enough to hold all the noble families of the kingdom comfortably. 

When you enter her private pavilion, Imperial Princess Min is reclining on a giant resting sofa, a servant girl fanning her. 

“Your highness.” You bow your head reverently and wait for her to receive you.

She smiles beautifully and sits up, her dark eyes shining beautifully, as she holds her hands out to you, “I’m so glad you are here.”

“Your Highness flatters me.” You go to her, smiling as you take her hands in your own before releasing them to gesture to the ornately carved tea table in the corner, “Afternoon tea?”

“Yes, we have much to discuss.” Princess Min stands up and elegantly makes her way to the table, you follow obediently behind her. Once you are both seated, Princess Min gestures for a servant to pour tea.

“Are you excited for tonight’s banquet?” Princess Min takes a sip of her tea, “I’m so very excited and the banquet isn’t even for me.”

“Of course, tonight is a grand occasion. It deserves to be celebrated properly.” You swallow a sip of tea and look around the beautiful pavilion. “Thank you so much for the hospitality you have shown my sister and I. Your kindness will never be forgotten.”

Princess Min smiles at you and chatters about the drama currently happening in the harem courtyard, Concubine Nam was still holding hope that Emperor Min would choose her as his bride, while the other concubines were furious over her blatant violation of the rules. You listen and chime in when necessary, indulging in Princess Min’s love for gossip. 

“What would you do with Concubine Nam and the harem?” Princess Min asks you, her voice curious, “How would you handle this entire scandal?”

“Well,” You ponder over her question for a moment. She had asked you similar questions before, but usually about how you would handle this political issue or that. Never one quite so close to home. You take another sip of tea, deciding how to answer without offending her, “an example would have to be made.”

“What kind of example?” Princess Min tilts her head slightly, her dark eyes swirling with something, “if you had the power, what would you do?”

“If I had the power?” You gesture for a servant to pour you another cup of tea and laugh softly, “If I had the power, my husband would not have a harem at all.”

Princess Min stares at you, her eyes practically glowing, “No harem? A normal man would not agree to your terms.”

You smile, “I will not marry just any man. I will marry a man solely devoted to me.”

The Princess giggles beautifully, “I love your way of thinking.”

“Well,” you giggle along with the princess, “My way of thinking isn’t something that is approved of. Luckily for his majesty, Ara will gladly allow him his harem.”

The princess quiets down and gestures for a servant to place a small, sweet cake on both of your plates. Her smile is sweet, “Tell me…”

“Hmm?” You tilt your head in question and take a small sip of tea.

Princess Min’s voice is light and soft, “when are you going to stop playing ignorant?”

You still completely, your stomach bubbling with dread. You keep your face calm and composed, but your heart is beating rapidly. After a brief silence, you question, “Pardon? Whatever do you mean?”

“You’re a very clever woman, it’s why I like you so much.” Her sweet smile never leaves her face, but her eyes are dark and cold. “You know exactly what I mean.” 

“No,” You keep your voice firm, “I do not know what you mean at all.”

Princess Min’s smile widens, but her dark eyes are unsettling, “Did you enjoy Imperial Brother’s latest gift?”

You slowly set your tea cup on the table, “His highness gives the most thoughtful gifts, we are forever in his debt.”

“You know, he chose the pattern and colors himself.”

“About that,” you lick your lips before continuing, “Eunuch Ki gave me the golden dress by mistake.”

“Oh you are good. For someone who claims they have no interest in court or politics, that is. Though you need a little more training before you sit in on a council.” The Princess takes a bite of cake, her eyes flashing, “I don’t recommend playing dumb with me, however.” 

“I don’t know what you could possibly mean.” 

The Princess ignores your remark, “Have you heard of my betrothed? Prince Regent Jung Hoseok. He’s the general of the Imperial Army.”

“Of course,” your mind frantically tries to understand where the connection is, “He has helped the emperor win many battles.”

“Did you know that he was betrothed before?”

You shake your head, but don’t reply. You have no idea what this discussion has to do with the emperor’s gifts, but you didn’t dare interrupt or question her.

“He grew up in the palace here with Imperial Brother and I. My father, the emperor at the time, practically raised him as one of his own. He was Imperial Brother’s companion and also to be his general in war. I had been in love with him since I was very young. He was all I ever wanted.” Princess Min Glances off into the distance, as if she’s reminiscing, “For his outstanding work as the General of the Imperial Army, my father gifted him a marriage to a nobleman’s daughter... Lord Tokko’s only daughter, Yeong.”

Lord Tokko’s name was vaguely familiar to you, you had heard your father mention him a few times. As for his daughter, you had never heard of this woman, but by the tone of Princess Min’s voice and the frown on her face, you know it was someone that the princess did not like.

“The Prince Regent agreed to the marriage, he actually cared for her, thought himself to be in love,” The princess scoffs and takes a small sip of tea, “It was not hard for me to get my father to agree to have Lady Yeong come to the palace to serve as a friend and companion for me.”

“She was one of the kindest, sweetest, young women I had ever met.” The Princess locks eyes with you, “So trusting that even as she lay dying, it never crossed her mind that I was the one that poisoned her.”

You're quiet for several moments, trying to gather your thoughts. Your voice is a little shaky when you finally ask, “Why are you telling me this?”

Princess Min ignores you once again, “We thought the sickness had skipped my brother. It usually only manifests itself in the women in my family, my grandmother had it too, you know?”

“What sickness?” You are growing more alarmed. The Princess was revealing information and secrets that you should not know and you did not understand her reasoning.

Again, Princess Min ignores you, continuing her story as if she were a player on stage and you the enraptured audience, “He never showed any symptoms, not a care in the world for anyone but himself. The closest he came was Concubine Nam, but nothing serious ever happened with her. He would never make her his consort, so I knew she wasn’t the one.”

“Imagine my elation when you finally arrived. You have turned out to be all we hoped for and more.” Princess Min smiles at you beautifully, her dark eyes shining almost manically, “The moment he saw you, your fate was sealed.”

Before today, having Princess Min’s confidence made you feel warm and welcomed. Now you only feel dread. 

“I.. I...” You lick your too dry lips and stumble over your words, your composure crumbling in the wake of the Imperial Princess’ confession, “I am to be married to Lord Kim. My father is working out the contracts.”

“Lord Kim?” The princess giggles, “My brother wanted to strip him and his family of their lands and titles, but I was able to talk him back from that.”

“I don’t understand.” You feel cold all over.

“Yes, you do.” The princess gestures and a maid comes forward holding a silver tray, the princess grabs the small bundle of letters and tosses them on the table, “You’re lucky that I was able to intercept these before Imperial Brother read them. If he knew you were writing to another man, he would have Lord Kim beheaded.”

You’re quiet, staring at the letters you wrote to Lord Kim asking after his health. The letters he never received. Too much was going through your mind. What about Ara?

“My father-”

“Your father has already agreed and I was able to have Imperial Brother gift a marriage to Lord Kim.”  Princess Min’s voice is pleasant, as if she's discussing the weather, “Your sister will be his bride.”

You stand abruptly from the table, your chair clattering to the floor behind you. You feel shaken and terrified. You knew something was off, but you were hoping, praying, you were wrong.

“Please excuse me, your majesty.” You step back from the table, your eyes slightly glassy, “I need to rest before tonight’s banquet.”

“Please, call me Ji-Soo…,” The princess smiles at you, her dark eyes are filled with what you now recognize as madness, the same look found in the emperor’s eyes when he looks at you, 

“..We’re family after all.”

-0-0-0-

When you arrive back at your courtyard, your mind is still struggling to comprehend what is happening. You rush past the servants and lock yourself in your room. You stare at the beautiful golden dress laid out on your bed, the diamonds twinkling as if mocking you. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Ara is supposed to be empress.

You slide to the floor, your back against the door. This wasn’t supposed to happen. You stare at the dress, but your mind isn’t focused on it. You’re trying to think, trying to plan. What are you supposed to do? You don’t even entertain the thought that your father will save you. You have no choice. Emperor Min holds all the power. 

You don’t realize that hours have passed with you staring blankly at the dress until the servants knock on your door. “My lady, we are here to prepare you for the banquet.”

“I don’t need help to prepare. Please leave me.”

“My lady,” The voice of the maid is trembling, fearful, “The emperor insists.”

You swallow and stand, your legs shaky. You open the door and stare at the servants, they are terrified. Terrified of the emperor, terrified of his displeasure. You realize that you and them are not so different. No one has a choice. Everyone is subject to Emperor Min’s whims.

“Where is Ara?”

“She has already been prepared for the banquet.” Several servants rush in carrying a large washing tub filled with steaming water. The water is fragrant and several flowers are flowing on the surface. 

You watch a large dressing screen being set up around the tub, several of the servants bow low to you before quickly leaving the room. You look at them questioningly and an older maid steps forward, “Forgive us, my lady. We are under strict instructions and not allowed to help you undress or bathe.”

“What? Why?”

The maid licks her lips and hangs several white undergarments over the dressing screen, “The emperor made a new decree that it is a crime punishable by death for anyone other than the emperor himself to view the empress consort’s nude body.” 

It’s a jarring experience to be referred to as the empress consort. 

“It- it is not official.” 

You want to scream at them that this is wrong. That you’re not even betrothed, that this isn’t supposed to be you. 

They won’t meet your eyes. 

The jade bracelet on your wrist slides, warm beads against cool skin, and that’s when you realize all the mistakes you have made. You can’t stop the heavy weight you feel in your chest. You can feel your lips begin to tremble and your eyes feel watery. You don’t want to cry, but you know you should because you have the horrible feeling that once you are announced as the chosen empress consort at the banquet, the emperor will not let you out of his sight. 

The maid smooths over any imaginary wrinkles in the undergarments and gives you a pitying look, “Please get dressed in these once you are finished and we will prepare you for the banquet.” 

You’re left alone and you robotically remove your dress and undergarments. The water is hot and relaxing and it soothes your frazzled nerves. You lean your head back against the washing tub, you can hear the maids quietly talking behind the dressing screen. Your mind is racing. You are a smart girl. Your father has always praised your brilliance and forward thinking and lamented over you not being born a boy. You could figure this out. You could find a way out. 

There is obviously something seriously wrong with the Imperial siblings. The Princess herself confessed to murdering a love rival and the emperor has never shown any sign of this alleged sickness until now. Concubine Nam is carrying his child. You’ve already told Princess Min about your distaste of the harem. You refuse to have a husband that continues to keep a harem of concubines. 

But you know, you know, you could not refuse the emperor’s suit. You did not have any choice in the matter. While this is not the outcome that you nor Ara want, you know that your father will be pleased. All men want is power. They do not care for who they hurt or how they use their children like pawns. Your father will be the father-in-law of the emperor, his position and power will be secured.

The water is cold when you finally decide to step out of the washing tub. You resolve yourself to your future. Being the Empress Consort is not the worst fate you can have, but you were fearful of your sister’s reaction. She will hate you. 

You slowly put on your undergarments and step out from behind the screen. The maids eagerly rush you over to the large dressing table and sit you down. You stare at your worn reflection in the large, ornate mirror. 

Several maids kneel at your sides, dipping your fingers and toes in a dark paste. Other maids rub scented lotion onto your arms and legs. You watch through your reflection as the older maid rearranges your hair into an intricate updo, her skilled hands working effortlessly.

Your voice is a little hoarse when you speak, but you clear your throat and look at the older maid, “Will you be my personal servant?”

“Of course,” The maid gives you a warm smile, “His highness chose me personally to care for his bride.”

You give her a strained smile in return, neither of you mention the fact that the emperor chose servants that would be loyal to him. It wasn’t uncommon for a bride to bring a handful of trusted servants with them to their new home, but these aren’t normal circumstances. You would truly be alone here. “May I know your name?”

“Unso.”

“Unso.” You say the name carefully, “Please take good care of me.”

“My absolute pleasure.” She beams and gestures to your hair, the golden hairpin shining on top. The hairstyle is extravagant and more beautiful than any you have ever worn. The other maids clean the dark paste off your fingers and toes, revealing the nails to be stained a pretty red. Another servant brings a small jar of white cream and rubs it onto your face. You sit still as makeup is applied to your face. Your lips are painted a dark red and your eyes are lined with kohl. A small, delicate mugunghwa flower is painted in red and black between your eyebrows.

You stand and the maids help you dress in the beautiful golden dress. They take their time making sure everything is perfect. When you are fully dressed, the servants all stand back and stare at their hard work.

“Mistress is the most beautiful!”

“The Emperor has chosen well!”

“Her beauty is unparalleled!”

“An absolute vision!”

“His highness will be most pleased!”

The praises are interrupted by Eunuch Ki. He gives you a once over before nodding to Unso, “Excellent. Make sure everything is prepared as instructed.”

Unso nods her head and steps back.

“My lady,” Eunuch Ki bows low to you, “Please allow me to escort you to the banquet hall.”

You look around nervously, “But Ara-” 

“Your sister is already at the banquet.”

“I see.” You nod your head realizing you don’t have a choice, “I would be honored for Eunuch Ki to escort me.”

He gives you another low bow and turns to lead the way out of your rooms. Unso gives you an encouraging smile and you nod your head in return. Eunuch Ki leads you out of your courtyard to an extravagant imperial carriage. From the design and brilliance, you can tell that this is the emperor’s personal carriage. 

The ride to the grand banquet hall is quiet. You’re positive that you’re shaking in your seat. Eunuch Ki is watching you, but he doesn’t comment on your nerves. The carriage comes to a stop and the door is opened by an imperial guard. Eunuch Ki steps down first. You follow slowly behind him, all the servants and guards bowing in your presence. 

The long walk to the banquet hall seems to last seconds. You can feel sweat beading on your forehead and you are distractedly worried that all the servants' hard work on your face paint will come undone.  The closer you get to the hall, the louder the music and laughter from inside becomes. You can hear that it is a grand celebration and you worry for a moment that you are late. 

Eunuch Ki stops several feet away from the double doors. He gives you a sad smile and leans close to you, “An empress does not show fear. An empress does not show despair.”

You nod your head in understanding, straighten your back and hold your head high. You can feel your heart beating out of your chest; the expectations of the kingdom weighing on your shoulders. You can feel the sinking feeling in your stomach that Ara will never forgive you. You desperately hope she can understand. 

You do not have a choice. 

“Please open the doors.”

The large golden doors are heavy, requiring several servants to push them open. A loud chime is heard from the inside of the room. Eunuch Ki steps forward and announces your arrival, but you cannot hear him over the sound of the blood rushing through your ears. 

You step forward and you can feel all eyes are on you, but the only eyes you can focus on are the emperor’s. Dark, calculating, mad. He’s not dressed in his customary black, but gold. His ceremonial robes are a bright gold patterned with black mandarin ducks, matching yours. His long hair is unbound, a glittering crown is placed upon his brow. He is the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. 

The room is so quiet you can hear a pin drop. You take several slow steps into the room and make your way towards the emperor. Before you reach him, Princess Min steps forward, a handsome man you recognize as Prince Regent Jung Hoseok at her side. The couple is dressed in matching colors. Royal blue and patterned with silver bats. Princess Min leans close to you and kisses both your cheeks. She pauses to whisper a quiet, “Good Girl,” that only you can hear. Prince Regent Jung gives you a low bow.

You bow in return to the Princess and her betrothed. The room is still deathly quiet. When you finally reach the emperor, he stares at you as if you are the only thing he has ever wanted. You prepare to bow, but Emperor Min stops you, “From this moment forward, you bow to no one.”

You swallow and nod your head. Emperor Min continues staring at you, his eyes swirling with equal parts happiness and madness. Eunuch Ki steps forward holding a golden goblet. You stare at the goblet and then look at the emperor in horror. This isn’t right. You realize quickly that this is no ordinary celebration banquet. 

This is a wedding. 

You quickly look away, desperately searching for Ara. Slim fingers grip your chin tightly, you can feel the cold metal of his rings pressing into your skin. Your face is turned back to the Emperor.

“Who is the king?” His voice is quiet, but firm, “Who is the boss?”

You stare into his cold eyes. He knows he has you trapped and he knows there is nothing you can do. While you want to believe that you had reconciled yourself with your fate, you had truly hoped that you had more time to find a way out. But there is no way out.

After a few moments, you nod your head in understanding and open your mouth to accept a drink from the goblet. Emperor Min takes the goblet from Eunuch Ki and holds it to your lips. His smile is gentle, but his eyes are filled with triumph as you drink.

The rice wine is sweet but you barely taste it. You swallow a large gulp and lick your lips. The emperor’s eyes darken as he watches you and his smile widens. He gently places the goblet into your hands and you carefully hold it up to his lips. He takes several large gulps, but never breaks eye contact with you. 

Eunuch Ki grabs the goblet from you and before you know what is happening, you’re in the emperor’s embrace. One of his hands cup the back of your head as the other holds you tightly by the waist, “Finally, you’re mine.”

His kiss catches you off guard and you close your eyes involuntarily. You know that kissing is improper for a wedding ceremony and should only be done in private, but no one would dare question the emperor. His lips are soft and taste of the rice wine you just drank. When his tongue gently coaxes your lips open, you do not resist. Your fingers grip his shoulders and you cannot stop yourself from melting into him. 

When he finally releases you, you steady yourself against him. You’re in a daze as the emperor leads you to the royal table. You stand quietly at his side as he raises a glass of wine in a toast, “To my new bride, your new empress!”

The hall is filled with thunderous applause and cheering. Your moves are robotic as the emperor instructs you to sit next to him. He fills your plate with all your favorite delicacies and pours you a cup of tea. The musicians start playing music again and the murmur of conversations start up around you. You glance around the hall and realize that all the eligible young ladies that were prospective consorts are wearing matching dresses. Light blue and patterned with butterflies. The same dress that Ara was gifted.

You look around for Ara and you find her seated between your father and Lord Kim. Your father and Lord Kim seem to be in a serious conversation. Ara looks calm and composed, but her eyes betray her. You can see her unhappiness and your heart aches. 

“Beloved,” You’re jolted by the emperor’s deep, somber voice, “Don’t worry about your sister. She will be taken care of. Lord Kim will make her happy.”

It takes you a moment to respond, but you do so quietly, “My sister’s only happiness will always be with the emperor.”

The emperor glances in the direction of your sister and then turns back to you, his smile is sweet, “You are a good sister, but it’s time you put your happiness first.”

You’re puzzled, “My happiness?”

“Your happiness.” Emperor Min kisses your lips softly, “To be my bride. To be my queen. To be mine.”

You stare at him incredulously, and realize he truly believes that you are happy being his bride. He really thinks you wanted this and were only holding yourself back for Ara’s sake. Princess Min gives you a knowing smile from across the table. You sit in a daze as the night progresses. The emperor would let no other serve you, but himself, constantly refilling your plate and cup.

You can feel the angry glare of Concubine Nam on you from across the hall and when you finally meet her gaze, you're startled to realize that she’s also wearing the same light blue dress, patterned with silver butterflies, that Ara was gifted. In fact, all the concubines are dressed this way.

Concubine Nam’s face is fuller and glowing beautifully. Her soft, demure persona would be more believable if her eyes weren’t filled with hatred. You’re secretly pleased that her plan to trap the emperor has failed. If she was smart, she would try to gain favor with you, but instead she will most likely plot to poison you. You give her a small nod of acknowledgement and she sneers in return before turning away. 

The night drags on and you're exhausted from trying to keep a happy facade. You catch your shoulders drooping more often than not, and even feel yourself lean against the emperor a time or two. 

When it is finally time to receive congratulations from the representatives from the noble families, you stay quiet at the emperor’s side. You smile when needed and murmur thanks when prompted. Everything feels unreal.  

When your family steps forward, you try to catch Ara’s eyes. She nods her head at Princess Min and bows low to you, “Your highness, many happy wishes on your marriage. May the gods bless you with healthy sons.”

Her voice is cold and you can see the hatred in her eyes. You grab her hand, “Ara please, you must understand.”

“Understand that my sister is a liar?” Ara raises her voice and pulls away from you, “Understand that she is a snake who planned this?!”

“Ara, no.” Your voice cracks and you can feel tears brimming in your eyes, your exhaustion and stress finally catching up to you, “You are my most beloved sister. I would never-”

“And yet, here you are.” Ara’s voice is mocking, “Empress.”

The scene your sister is making draws the attention of your father and Emperor Min, who were in the middle of a quiet conversation near you. Even Princess Min is frowning from where she is seated, obviously hearing the raise of Ara’s voice. 

“Enough.” The emperor’s voice is cold as he glares furiously at Ara, “You dare to show disrespect to your empress?”

“She tricked you! Can’t you see she tricked you?!” Ara ignores the dangerous aura surrounding Emperor Min, “It was supposed to be me! I am supposed to be your queen. I love y-”

“Guards. Detain her. Disrespect to the empress is punishable by death.”

You can see the fear on Ara’s face, she backs away quickly, but the guards grab her. Your father looks alarmed and even Lord Kim looks fearful for your sister’s life. You look at the emperor and grip his arm tightly, “Please, please do not punish her. She doesn’t know what she’s saying.”

“She dared to disrespect you. She doesn’t deserve to live.”

“Please,” You beg him, you look at Ara’s fearful face and close your eyes in dismay, you know she will hate you even more after this. You firm your resolve and open your eyes, “She’s only a child.”

You press yourself against the emperor, “She’s harmless. She knows that what we have is real. She knows that you love me. She’s only jealous.”

The emperor’s eyes soften as he stares at you. “And you? Do you love me?”

You glance at your sister, an apology in your eyes, before wrapping your arms around Emperor Min, “I love you. Only you.”

He kisses you deeply and waves away the guards. Once he breaks the kiss, you feel yourself sag against him in relief as Ara is released and your father ushers her away. You can feel Lord Kim staring at you and when you finally meet his gaze, you're taken aback by the devastation in his eyes.

His eyes flicker between you and the emperor before he turns around and follows after your father. You stare after him but the emperor blocks your view. You look up and meet his eyes.

“Your eyes are only meant for me. No one else.”

You nod your head, but don’t say a word. Emperor Min continues to stare at you for a moment longer, before he presses a soft kiss to your forehead. 

“Eunuch Ki.” 

Eunuch Ki suddenly appears at the Emperor’s side ready and willing to do whatever is asked of him and gives a low bow, “Your majesty.”

“Take my bride to rest.”

“At once, your grace.” Eunuch Ki gestures for you to follow him and you do so without another word. Once the heavy golden doors close behind you, you finally let the tears fall from your eyes. You cry silently on the long carriage ride back to the other side of the palace. Eunuch Ki looks uncomfortable and like he wishes to offer words of comfort, but has no idea what to say. 

You go to rub your eyes with the sleeve of your dress, but Eunuch Ki stops you and hands you a soft cloth, “Forgive me your highness, but your dress must be preserved for the royal archives, you must not dirty it.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” You give a sad hiccup laugh and look out the carriage window. You realize quickly that you are not headed to the Mugunghwa Courtyard, but to the Emperor’s private courtyard. 

“I thought the Emperor wanted me to rest.”

Eunuch Ki gives you a look, but doesn’t respond. When the carriage rolls to a stop, Unso is there to help you down from the carriage. If she sees the distress on your face, she doesn’t comment on it. She gives you a low bow and leads you into the Emperor’s lair.

His private courtyard and rooms are enormous. Everything is draped in silks of black and gold. When you finally reach the Emperor’s private chambers, you’re astounded. His bedroom has the largest canopy bed you have ever seen, covered in a mountain of pillows. There is a large wooden desk in one corner of the room surrounded with several shelves filled with scrolls. There’s two separate golden resting sofas, each larger than you have ever seen and even a large dressing table with a mirror, obviously for a woman to use. There are also large double doors leading out to a small, private hot spring.

You watch Unso bustle around the room, preparing things and beckoning you over to the dressing table. “Your highness, let me help you remove your makeup.”

You sit quietly at the table and let Unso gently wash your face. You watch her put a special cream under your eyes to bring down the puffiness from your tears. She takes her time undoing your hair and leaving it unbound. You meet her eyes in the reflection of the mirror, “How many women has he bedded here?”

She looks puzzled at your question, “His majesty has never brought any woman here.”

“Concubine Nam?”

“Never.” Unso’s voice is resolute, “His majesty has never brought any woman, harem or no, here. These are his private chambers.”

“I see.” You don’t know if she’s lying to you, but if she is, you appreciate it. You feel slightly better knowing you are the only woman to ever sleep in his chambers.

Unso opens a chest and pulls out a black silk robe embroidered with red mugunghwa flowers and lays it over the top of the dressing screen in the corner of the room, “Your highness, you should remove your clothes and put this on. I’ll make you some tea and then you can lay down and rest.”

You slowly make your way behind the dressing screen and painstakingly remove your wedding dress. You leave it in a heap on the floor along with your undergarments. You know there is no point in wearing them and while you are nervous and a little scared, you know the consummation is inevitable. 

You put the silk robe on, and gently tie the sash around your waist. When you step around the dressing screen, Unso has already prepared the bed by removing many of the pillows and replacing the black silk sheets with a soft, white one. The white sheet shines ominously in the low light of the lanterns. 

“Your highness, have some tea to soothe your nerves.” Unso has brewed some fresh tea, but the scent is different than any you have had before. You sit stiffly on the edge of the newly made bed and take a small sip of tea. The taste is slightly bitter, but soon you feel yourself relaxing. 

“What type of tea is this?” You ask as Unso refills your cup and urges you to drink more.

She pats your head and gives you a warm smile, “Don’t worry. It was requested by his highness to help improve your health.”

You nod and don’t question her. You assume it’s similar to what the harem drinks to prevent pregnancy. The emperor is still young and with the drama that Concubine Nam has caused, you doubt children were on his mind. Before you know it, you’ve finished the entire pot. 

Unso helps tuck you in bed, and turns down all the lanterns. The only light in the room is that from the moonlight seeping in through the heavy curtains. You can barely keep your eyes open and the last thing you hear before you drift asleep is Unso’s quiet words, “Rest well, your majesty. You will need it.”

-0-0-0-

You’re awoken by a soft noise. You sit up and look around but don’t notice anything out of place. You’re still alone in the emperor’s bed. You see a faint glow under a previously unnoticed door in the far corner near his large desk. 

You get out of bed and make your way to the door. It opens soundlessly and a large staircase is revealed. You slowly make your way up the staircase, being careful not to make a sound. At the top of the staircase is a large room. It looks like an artist’s studio. Numerous canvases line the walls, charcoals and paints scattered over several large wooden tables stationed through the room. 

You see half finished portraits of Princess Min and a few of the previous emperors. You step into the room, careful not to disturb the artwork. There are some more paintings of several gardens and fountains that inhabit the palace grounds. In the corner of the room there is a beautiful hand carved desk, slightly smaller than the large tables, covered with more artwork. When you get closer you realize the paintings and sketches are all of you. You in the dress you wore the first night you arrived, you smiling in Princess Min’s private pavilion, you taking a walk in one of the private gardens, you asleep in your private rooms. Hundreds of paintings and drawings of you. 

You see another canvas underneath, it's slightly worn with frayed edges as if it’s been touched frequently. When you pull it out you see it's a painting of you, but this one you recognize. Two summers ago your father had you and your sister sit for a family portrait. The artist was impeccable and it was one of the most accurate paintings you had ever seen of yourself, it was almost like looking in the mirror. You see that the painting is torn, your sister and father removed from the portrait.

“You’ve found my sanctuary.”

You startle at the emperor’s voice and drop the canvas as if you’ve been burned. He’s standing at the entrance of the room, he’s no longer dressed in the golden robe, but now his signature black. It’s tied loosely, so the smooth pale skin of his chest is visible. His blond hair is loose and his crown is gone. 

“You’re quite the artist.” You gesture around the room, “but I notice there is no artwork of your concubines, of your beloved Concubine Nam.”

The emperor glances around, taking in his artwork as he steps further into the room, “Are you jealous of In-Suk?”

You frown at the use of her first name, but do not deny his accusation, “I do not like the thought of my husband bedding other women.”

“There are no other women.” Emperor Min slowly makes his way over to you, “You’re the only one that matters.”

You glance back at the desk littered with portraits of you, your eyes stopping on the torn family portrait, “How long have I been the only one that matters?”

He smiles, “Does it matter?”

“Yes.” You keep your voice calm and composed, “It matters to me.”

Emperor Min stands close to you, his fingers trailing over the artwork on the desk, “I had no interest in marriage. Lords and other noblemen constantly throwing their daughters at me. Your father is no different. Going on and on about Ara and how wonderful and virtuous she is.” He smiles wryly, “I finally got him to shut up by feigning interest.”

The emperor gently picks up the torn family portrait, “Imagine my surprise when he brings me this. A beautiful family portrait. I ask him about you and he immediately tells me about what a beautiful and doting older sister you are to Ara. How ever since your mother died, you have helped raise her. How you love her more than anything.”

He sets the portrait down and grabs your hands, gently turning you to face him, “I knew then that you would sacrifice everything for your beloved sister. I also knew that I needed to get you into the palace. Once you were here, you could not deny me.”

“But I was supposed to marry Lord-”

“Never say his name again.” Emperor’s Min’s voice is hard, leaving no room for discussion, “I am your husband. He is nothing.”

“Of course,” Your voice is quiet, you hesitate for a moment before you continue your questioning, “But… but Princess Min set up the consort selection. She told me she had to practically beg you to agree.”

“My beloved wife.” Emperor Min cups your face affectionately, his previous sour mood at the mention of Lord Kim completely gone, “You’re too trusting. She poisoned her companion, do you really think she would not lie to help her brother?”

“But Ara-”

“Ara will forgive you.” He presses a soft kiss against your lips, “Or she won’t. It does not matter.”

“But-”

“Is it really so bad being Empress?” Emperor Min presses another kiss to your lips, his fingers tangle in your unbound hair, “Being Mother to the country?”

“No-no, I am grateful to your majesty.” You shiver at his touch, grasping his shoulders as he presses himself against you.

“Yoongi.” He places more kisses down your lips and chin, “Call me Yoongi.”

“Yoongi!” You gasp when he softly bites your neck.

You feel him reach behind you and push everything off the large desk, the sound of canvases and painting supplies hitting the floor echoes throughout the room. Yoongi picks you up and sits you on the large desk, his lips never leaving your skin.

“You’re all I’ve ever wanted.” His mouth is muffled by the skin of your neck, his lips and tongue trail lower. You feel hot all over and cannot help but shiver when his hand yanks the collar of your robe down your shoulder. “My beautiful queen.”

Your fingers clutch at the silk fabric of his robe, holding him closer to you. You don’t stop him when he undoes your robe, his hot fingers trailing down the skin of your abdomen. “Beloved, will you show me?”

You wordlessly lean back, letting the open robe slip down your arms, baring your nude body to his view. His eyes are burning as he drinks you in. “Absolutely Exquisite.”

Yoongi leans over you, pressing himself between your thighs, and kisses you deeply. His tongue licks into your mouth with desperation. His hands are shaking as he grips your hips, and you quickly free yourself from the sleeves of your robe.

He breaks the kiss to trail his mouth down your neck and chest, his hot tongue swirls around your exposed breast before suckling the nipple. You can’t stop your moan, your whole body jerks at the feeling. “Y-Yoongi!”

“Say it again.” Yoongi’s voice is filled with desperation as he kisses down your ribs, “Say my name again.”

“Yoongi.” You whisper and your stomach clenches when he kisses lower, his wet tongue trailing over your abdomen. You’re so aroused, you can feel your wetness coating your thighs, but you can’t bring yourself to be embarrassed. 

“I have never seen a more beautiful woman.” Yoongi presses a soft kiss below your belly button, “The country has never had a more beautiful empress.”

“Your highness flatters me.”

“No.” Yoongi’s firm voice startles you and when you meet his eyes, they are burning with madness, “This emperor loves you. Only you.”

You shiver at the look in his eyes and nod your head in return, “Yes. Of course.”

Yoongi presses another kiss to your abdomen, his large hands gripping your thighs as he stares at you, “Will you deny your king?”

“Never.”

The smile he gives you is equal parts beautiful and dangerous, his dark, dark eyes overflowing with adoration for you, “Good girl.”

Your breath catches when he spreads your thighs apart and leans forward, his mouth inches away from your wet, pulsing cunt. “I wonder if you taste as succulent as you smell.”

You feel your pussy throb at his words and you lean your head back against the desk, your eyes closing in anticipation. You find his crude words more arousing than you ever thought possible. Your heart is beating so fast and you can feel sweat beading on your forehead. While you have never been intimate with a man, you were no stranger to self pleasure. You just never imagined your first experience with a man would be the emperor of the entire nation between your thighs, waiting to pleasure you. The heady rush of excitement is making you dizzy.

You tense when Yoongi presses the flat of his tongue against your juicy pussy. His tongue is hot as it licks a slow stripe up to your clit and you both release a throaty groan when he sucks your clit into his mouth.

You don’t realize you’re holding your breath until you get light headed from lack of oxygen. You're shivering all over and you feel a tight pressure in your stomach. Your entire body is tuned to Yoongi’s mouth, every lick and suck of his tongue has you soaring. 

“Better.” He whispers between licks of your swollen clit, his fingers shaking as he holds your thighs apart, “You taste so much better than anything I’ve ever had before.” 

You press your hand into your mouth to bite down on, trying to muffle your moans. Your other hand scrambles for something to hold onto before tangling in his long, soft hair. 

You press your heel into his back, but if Yoongi is bothered, he does not show it. He’s completely focused on devouring you. You bite your hand hard to cover your squeal when his hot fingers gently probe your cunt. He reaches up to pull your hand out of your mouth, his fingers gently stroking your wrist around the jade bracelet, “Do not dare hide your pleasure from me.”

He places your hand on his head, near your other hand already grasping his hair, and encourages you to use him as you please. A long, thick finger slips inside you and you cannot stop yourself from clamping down, your hips automatically rolling up into his face. 

“That’s it, my beautiful girl,” Yoongi continues to flick your clit with his tongue, “Ride my face.”

Your fingers grasp his head, holding his mouth against your aching cunt. You’re throbbing and dripping and you know you are going to come soon. You can feel the release building deep inside you. Yoongi presses another finger into your dripping hole and you can feel yourself trembling. He’s completely focused on you and your pleasure, his mouth working nonstop to help you reach your peak. 

You sit up slightly and meet his dark gaze, his eyes are brimming with satisfaction. You grip his hair hard and press his face against your dripping cunt. You’re so close you’re practically vibrating with pleasure. 

He twists his fingers and you're coming. You release a soundless gasp and can’t stop yourself from gushing all over his fingers. Yoongi moans at the taste of you, his mouth eagerly trying to swallow every drop of your release. You collapse on the desk, your orgasm still thrumming through your body. 

You barely catch your breath when he’s hovering over you, your release glistening on his lips and chin. He kisses you deeply, making sure you can taste yourself on his tongue. You can feel his body trembling as he undoes his robe and you cannot figure out if he’s nervous or excited, or a combination of both.

He breaks the kiss to look at you and your stomach flutters at his gaze, so full of yearning and affection, you’re no longer sure why you ever thought about denying him. You hadn't even realized something was missing from your life, he was missing from your life, until this moment. You weren't just doing this out of a sense of duty. Because you were his wife. Because he was your husband. You wanted this. Desperately. More than you’d wanted anything up until this moment. 

Full of your realization, you push his robe off his shoulders and spread your legs wider, allowing him to press himself completely against you. He’s hot and hard, pulsing between your thighs. You shiver at the feel of him, your sticky cunt still dripping from your orgasm. You look at him, his cheeks flushed pink, his forehead and chest slightly sweaty, his hair a tangled mess. His scar looks less intimidating in the low light of the lanterns.

“You love me?” You don’t realize you have said the words out loud until he stares at you, his dark, dark eyes burning.

“More than anything.” 

It’s intoxicating knowing you have this beautiful man confessing his love to you. He is the most powerful man in the entire world and he loves you more than anything. You can’t help the ugly feelings of jealousy bubbling in your stomach, knowing other women have seen him undone like this. Knowing that Concubine Nam has had him like this is unacceptable. 

“I want them gone.” You shift forward slightly, the head of his thick cock catching on your entrance. You feel so hot between your legs, your cunt aching to be spread open by him. 

“Who?” He sounds confused, distracted. His whole body is trembling, holding himself back from thrusting up into you.

“Your whores.” You roll your hips and feel him sink a few inches inside you, you hold your breath and try not to tense up at the intrusion. “I will not have a husband that has a harem. I want them all gone, especially that bitch Nam. I can’t stand the thought of anyone else seeing you like this.”

“Yes,” You feel more than hear him gasp, his forehead pressing against your shoulder, “Anything you want.

“You’re mine.” 

Your whispered declaration causes something inside of him to snap. You’re unprepared when he pushes completely inside of you. The burning stretch of his thick, heavy cock leaves your breathless. He groans into your chest, barely giving you a moment to adjust before he’s thrusting in and out. Every roll of his hips has you clenching around him. His lips press soft kisses into your skin between pants of yesyesyes and all yours. You’re soaked and shaking, your fingers clutch his shoulders, trying to anchor him against you. He’s so thick and so large, you swear you can feel him in your stomach.

“My Empress, My Goddess,” Yoongi whispers reverently into your skin, “I will give you everything.”

“Yes,” You press yourself closer to him, ignoring the feel of his ringed fingers bruising your hips, “All I want is you.”

Every thrust of his hips brings you closer to the edge. You’re quivering around him, so close you can almost taste it. You shudder when he releases your hip, his fingers gently rubbing your swollen clit, causing you to pulse around him. “That’s it, my beloved girl. Come for me.”

Yoongi softly pinches your clit and you explode. His tongue licks up your throat, his mouth swallowing your quiet cries of pleasure. You clench down and feel him gasp against you, his body shuddering uncontrollably. The pulse of his cock inside you floods you with warmth.

You close your eyes and hold him against you, trying to catch your breath. Your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest. You slowly run your fingers through his hair and smile when you realize he’s still buried inside you.

He sits up and stares at you. You can see your reflection in his dark eyes. Your hair is disheveled and your lips are swollen. You can see your eyes are hazy with pleasure and several love bites adorn your neck and shoulders.

“My beloved bride.” Yoongi smiles at you affectionately, his fingers gently brush your hair back from your sweaty forehead, “I will never let you go.”

-0-0-0-

When you awaken you’re alone in the emperor’s bed, his side is cool, as if he’s been gone for hours. You’re sore all over, your husband spent most of the night inside of you, making you come over and over again until the early morning light.

You wrap the wrinkled white sheet around you and stand on shaky legs. You slowly make your way to the door and call for Unso. She appears immediately, almost as if she was waiting for you.

She helps you sit at the dressing table and goes about opening the curtains. Based on the sunlight entering the room, you can tell it is already early afternoon. Several maids clear the used bedding from the bed, and replace the sheets with clean silk ones. 

“Where is the emperor?” 

“His majesty wanted his bride to get enough rest, he would not let anyone disturb your highness.” Unso ignores your question and pulls a black dress patterned with golden dragons from the wardrobe. She hangs it over the silk dressing screen along with several undergarments.

You watch her through the mirror as she orders servants to prepare bath water for you. You can tell that something is amiss by the way Unso will not meet your eyes and the maids scurry about as if they are terrified of you.

“Your highness,” A younger maid bows low and holds out a fresh cup of tea, “your tea?”

You take the cup from the trembling maid, it’s the same bitter tea from the night before. You take a small sip, “Unso, where is my husband?”

“Your majesty, you must drink your tea, it is good for your health.” Unso comes out from behind the dressing screen, “Come take your bath, it will soothe your sore muscles.”

“No,” You set the mostly full cup of tea on the dressing table and stand up, “Bring me my robe.”

“Your majesty, you cannot go out in only your robe!” Unso’s voice is shocked. “It is improper!”

“Fine,” You make your way behind the dressing screen and put on your undergarments, “You will help me dress and then you will take me to my husband.”

Unso and several maids help you put on the stunning black dress. You’re ushered to the dressing table where you are adorned in diamond jewelry. Unso styles your hair with a jeweled dragon hairpin. Lotions and creams are rubbed into your face, neck and arms. 

Once you are deemed presentable, you follow Unso and several servant girls to the throne room. When you reach the large doors, Eunuch Ki looks alarmed to see you and quickly bows low, “Y-your highness! What are you doing here?”

 “Eunuch Ki,” You nod your head in greeting, “I came to see my husband.”

“I see,” Eunuch Ki shares an undecipherable look with Unso, “His majesty is conducting important business, he has asked me to inform you that he will join you in his rooms later for the evening meal.”

“Open the doors.”

“Please your majesty, you need to rest.” Eunuch Ki tries to placate you, “Let me take you back to the emperor’s courtyard or even to see Princess Min.”

“Open the doors. Now.”

Eunuch Ki looks helplessly at Unso before nodding his head. The guards slowly push the heavy doors open.

The smell is the first thing that hits you. The thick coppery scent of blood. You slowly step into the room and gasp in horror. The floors and walls are covered in blood. It looks like an entire massacre took place here. You walk further into the room and ignore the way the blood soaks into your silk slippers, seeping between your toes.

Eunuch Ki follows quietly behind you. There are several servants scrubbing the floors and walls, trying to remove the pools of blood around the room. You ignore them all, your eyes are completely focused on the emperor. He’s staring at a small golden box in his hand. A bloody sword rests near his feet. 

“Yoongi.” You whisper the words quietly, but his head snaps up immediately, his eyes focusing on you. 

“Beloved.” His eyes light up when he sees you, a beautiful smile spreading across his face. He rushes eagerly towards you. You realize he’s wearing a black robe, patterned with golden dragons, the same design as your dress. The only difference is his robe is stained with fresh blood. His hair is pulled up into a topknot, his black headband in place. Small drops of blood stain his cheeks and neck. He presses the golden box into Eunuch Ki’s hands before cupping your face, his fingers still wet with blood.

“My beautiful bride,” His voice is light, happy, “everything is perfect now that you are here.”

“Perfect?” You whisper and let him take your hands, leading you towards his throne. The golden dragon throne looks intimidating in the blood soaked room. The closer you get to the throne, the stronger the scent of blood becomes. You feel light headed, your stomach churning at the smells permeating the air.

“I.. I need to sit down.”

Yoongi looks at you concerned and immediately has you sit on his throne, “Are you alright, my love? Do you need some tea?”

“No,” You sit quietly. You feel sick, you feel sweaty, you can barely catch your breath, “I just need a moment.”

You close your eyes trying to center yourself. You know something terrible happened here, there is so much blood it looks like a battlefield. You're grateful that the bodies have already been removed, you don't know how you would have handled a room full of corpses. You take a few deep breaths and open your eyes, meeting Yoongi's bright gaze.  

“I have a gift for you.” Yoongi takes the golden box from Eunuch Ki, “I wanted to surprise you with it this evening, but you are here now. My beautiful girl.”

You stare at the golden box stained with blood. You take it from Yoongi with trembling hands. Yoongi is vibrating with excitement next to you. You can feel the pressure behind your eyes signaling that you are about to cry. You blink repeatedly, holding back your tears.  

You slowly open the box and stare at the contents. Yoongi holds your hands around the golden box, making sure you can’t drop it. You swallow the scream bubbling in your throat and meet his eyes. Dark, crazed, unhinged eyes overflowing with love for you. Love and madness.

You look back at your gift. Dead, lifeless eyes stare back at you. Concubine Nam’s eyes. Yoongi kneels obediently at your feet, soaking his robe in more blood. Blood from Concubine Nam. Blood from the rest of the harem. 

You can’t stop the tears from dripping down your cheeks. 

“They are all gone. Just like you asked.” Yoongi stares at you with reverence, his eyes sparkling, “I told you I would do anything for you.”

[luvdsc]

doing the bf tag with my bf.

hey, siri, does bf stand for best friend or boyfriend? (or both?)

pairing :: na jaemin x reader genre :: fluff / best friend + youtuber au word count :: 4,691 words warnings :: none playlist :: mean it (lauv & lany) ⋆ always, i’ll care (jeremy zucker) ⋆ fearless (taylor swift) ⋆ fingers crossed (coin) ⋆ cardiac arrest (bad suns) author’s note :: this fic is a tiny bit different than my usual writing because i emphasize more on dialogue than description in order to mimic a youtube video. happy birthday to this absolute darling angel! you have the biggest heart in the universe, and thank you for sharing so much of it with the world ♡ ↳ part of the not clickbait series.

Your subscribers have always wondered if you would do this type of video countless of times, and you never thought you’d ever actually record one due to the state of your love life (or lack thereof), yet here you are.

Unfortunately, the romantic department of your life still remains very much empty though. But lucky for you, so is your best friend’s. And that pretty much works out perfectly because he could stand in for your nonexistent boyfriend in order to complete the popular GF/BF tag (along with a hidden challenge that was popular by demand and personally requested by a certain friend with a flair for baking. Now if only the frantic butterflies in your stomach would settle down just enough for you to do it).

After all, BF could stand for either boyfriend or best friend, right?

It’s also no secret that yours and Jaemin’s subscribers shipped you two together either. Heck, you may be a little delusional as well because you ship yourself with your best friend, too. Blame the massive crush you’ve been secretly harboring. But two best friends sharing an apartment and frequently appearing in videos on each of your respective channels? In the eyes of your fans, that’s basically the perfect setup for a modern day love story.

It would 100% be the greatest love story since Kat and Patrick in 10 Things I Hate About You, but at this point in your life, your story is going to be marked down as a tragedy. You feel even more hopeless and dramatic than Romeo was about his unrequited love for Rosaline. Also, that dude got over her way too quickly at the sight of another pretty girl. You wish that would happen for you, too, but your heart is much too stubborn over Jaemin.

When you had asked him if he would do the video with you, Jaemin immediately agreed much to your initial surprise. The publicity would be good though, you surmise later on, and both our fan bases would grow, so of course, he would agree. It’s not like your best friend liked you back. That would be absolutely absurd.

“Are you ready?” Jaemin speaks up, breaking your train of thought, and you’re slightly startled. He plops down in the plush pink rolling chair next to you, the chair moving back a few inches. He scooches it closer to your own chair, buzzing with excitement. You smile at your best friend, pushing down the butterflies erupting in your stomach. You nod before reaching forward and pressing the record button on the camera set up in front of you. You pull up the list of questions on your phone.

“Yeah, let's do this.”

How did we meet?

“Oh, this is an easy question,” Jaemin says, flashing his award winning smile at the camera before he throws his arm around you happily, hugging you affectionately. “It was freshman year. You ran into me. Literally. We were in the same class, and it just ended. You were trying to shove your textbook into your bag and didn’t notice where you were walking until you face-planted into my back.”

The memory is still fresh in your mind, and you remember how you had already resigned yourself to your fate of becoming good friends with the floor. But Lady Luck was on your side for once, and she sent an angel in the form of Na Jaemin to save you from embarrassment on your first day of university.

“Yeah, I almost fell flat on my butt, but luckily, Nana has great reflexes and when he turned around, he grabbed my arm before I hit the ground,” you add on, still squished into his side. He beams, eyes crinkling into half moon crescents before placing a kiss on your cheek and turning back to the camera.

Your heart skips a beat, but you ignore it. Jaemin has always been affectionate, and kisses were all in good fun. You continue on, plastering a nonchalant smile on your face. “And he said, ‘Looks like you just fell for me.’ And then he insisted that we get lunch together.”

“And the rest is history!” he exclaims happily, resting his cheek on the top of your head. You smile fondly before going onto the next question.

Where was our first date?

“The dining hall immediately after you ran into me.”

“That wasn’t a date,” you interject. “We can skip this question since we aren’t dating.”

Jaemin shrugs, waiting for you to read the next question. He murmurs faintly under his breath, “It was supposed to be one.”

We’re going out to eat, where are we going?

Jaemin answers immediately, leaning back in his chair. “The little pizza place down the block! They always make three different types of unique pizza everyday, and once they sell out, they close for the day.”

“We always go on Wednesday because they make both of our favorite pizzas then.” You chime in, and he nods enthusiastically, moving closer to the front and throwing his hands up in the air for emphasis. “They have corn and potato pizza that day!”

You wrinkle your nose slightly before leaning towards the camera. “To my subscribers, for the record, I assure you that I have better taste than that, and I love the artichoke pesto pizza with ricotta.”

What food do I dislike?

“... Corn and potato pizza,” he says reluctantly with a pout. “And kiwis. The outside is furry and creeps you out, and the fruit makes your tongue itch.”

You flash a thumbs up at the camera, and your best friend grins, puffing up his chest. Chuckling quietly, you shake your head before answering the question yourself. “And this dork absolutely hates anything strawberry flavored. And he’s lactose intolerant, so dairy is his enemy.”

“I love cheese, but cheese hates me,” he says mournfully, hanging his head down low before he jumps back up and reads the following question listed on your phone’s screen aloud.

Who is my best friend?

“Me!” Jaemin shouts gleefully, throwing his hands up in the air, and you can’t help but laugh, grinning widely at your best friend, a fond expression on your face.

“You.”

Am I a morning person or a night person?

“We’re both night people,” you say, and Jaemin nods in agreement. “You won’t catch either of us waking up before noon if we can’t help it, and we each have to set up like five alarms just to wake up.”

“It works out because we can stay up together watching movies or editing our videos,” he adds in, turning to you and smiling fondly. “And I always have a partner when I want to go on a midnight snack run to the convenience store nearby.”

Do we have a song? What is it?

“Jeremy Zucker’s Always, I’ll Care.”

“That’s our song?” You’re surprised. You were going to mention one of the go-to karaoke songs the two of you liked to belt out on the top of your lungs after a movie and wine night. Jaemin makes a great Sharpay Evans when you both want to bop to the top.

“It’s the song that reminds me of you,” he says, voice growing softer as he reaches the end of the sentence. Curse your heart for melting into a puddle. His cheeks turn pink under your gaze, and he becomes uncharacteristically shy, clearing his throat awkwardly.

“Anyway, what’s the next question?”

What’s my nickname?

“Nana!” You reach out to poke his cheek, and he puffs them up before pouting at you. He reaches out and pinches your cheek.

“I call you ‘angel’ sometimes. It’s why your channel is called peachyangel.”

What's my weirdest habit?

“Jaemin eats way too much cilantro,” you state, swinging around side to side in your rolling chair.

“I do not!” he protests loudly, and you give him a blank stare. The two of you sit there in silence, not breaking eye contact until he finally relents.

“Okay, maybe I do. But you pour cereal before milk!”

“That’s not a weird habit!” You defend yourself. You are appalled at your best friend. Neither of you have ever woken up early enough for breakfast, so this has never come up before. If you would’ve known this in the past, maybe you wouldn’t be so ridiculously in love with him in the present.

“Yes, it is! Your cereal gets all soggy that way!”

“Only idiots pour their milk first!”

He clutches his heart dramatically. “Are you calling me an idiot?!”

“... So moving onto the next question—”

What do you think I’m talented at?

“Making people fall in love with you,” Jaemin blurts out, and your eyes widen at his answer as your grip on your phone loosens considerably.

“I—I mean, you’re just so approachable, and you’re kind to everyone. You care so much about everyone and everything. People feel comfortable around you, they always gravitate towards you, and you just— I don’t know, you make people feel loved,” he explains, unable to meet your eyes, and his cheeks darken. He fiddles around with the loose strand on his sweater sleeve.

Your heart swells ten times bigger and beats faster than ever. You wonder if Jaemin knows he has the same effect on everyone, too. You hope he does.

You wonder if he knows you’re in love with him and if he would love you back. You hope he does.

When was the first time you said “I love you”  to me?

“Uh, we can skip this one, too,” you say awkwardly, but he throws his arm around your shoulder again, hugging you tightly. “Nope, not skipping! I have the answer to this one!”

He grins toothily at the camera before pinching your cheek for a second time affectionately. “I said ‘I love you’ when you showed up at my dorm and brought me pop tarts at three in the morning after I accidentally drunk texted you, instead of Jeno. That’s when I knew you were a keeper.”

“I did that because I felt bad about throwing up on your shoes at the party we went to the weekend before that,” you mumble, face growing warm when you remember your best friend’s drunken confession a few years back. “Besides, you were drunk. It doesn’t count.”

“Okay, fine, but we say it to each other all the time. The second time I said it was when you brought me chicken nuggets, and I was hungover, but sober.” He says, spinning in his chair.

“I can see the pattern now. You say it when I bring you food,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest with a fake pout. “You love food, not me.”

“That’s not true!” he exclaims, halting mid spin and facing you. He turns your chair towards him, moving forward to clutch both of your hands in his, and stares directly into your eyes seriously. “I love you.”

You inaudibly gulp, helplessly gazing back at him as you feel your face begin to burn, your heart speeding up in your chest. Jaemin grins, leaning back and letting go of your hand. “See? I love you!”

“Y-yeah.” You swallow hard, fumbling over your words. “You love me.”

What is your favorite thing about me?

“Your laugh,” Jaemin replies honestly, reaching out and absentmindedly drawing circles on the back of your hand as he looks at you. “Hyuck told me the other day that whenever I try to do something funny or make a joke, I have a habit of turning towards you for your reaction. It makes me kinda proud that I can make you laugh.”

You know that you’re stupidly grinning like an absolute idiot at this point, but you don’t care. You even almost forget about the camera.

“Your smile,” you answer, maintaining eye contact with him. Your smile widens when you see one appear on his face, his eyes shining brightly. “You have the prettiest smile, and I’m grateful that I’m able to see it everyday or be the cause of it sometimes.”

What film always makes me cry?

“Oh, The Lion King.” Jaemin responds automatically. “We both cry our eyes out at the stampede moment and when Simba tells his dad to wake up.”

“When we saw the live action version together, we brought along a ton of tissues with us, and he used almost all of them.”

What drink do I always order?

“Jaemin is crazy and always gets a venti iced americano with no water and eight espresso shots. He used to drink it six times a day until I yelled at him about it,” you say, shaking your head at the camera before glancing over at your best friend. “It’s seriously bad for your health.”

His lips jut out into a pout as he whines, “You wouldn't let me cuddle with you until I changed it!”

“It was for your own good! Plus, that drink tasted like battery acid!” You exclaim, and he sulks quietly before begrudgingly agreeing. You pat his head in consolation, and he grabs your hand, naturally interlocking your fingers with his.

“I drink it less now and with only two and half shots.”

If I could, what candy could I eat all day long?

“Chocolate,” you blurt out immediately. “Jaemin is a chocolate fanatic. But he’ll take anything with sugar. He has such a sweet tooth. He eats brown sugar when he’s bored. Even his boba drink has 100% sugar.”

“It’s as sweet as you.” Jaemin winks at you exaggeratingly, and you roll your eyes, turning your face away slightly to hide the smile that begins to spread across your face.

“Y/N likes matcha green tea Kit Kats.” He leans closer to the camera, peering into the lens in a serious manner. “If any chocolate companies are watching this, we are both open to sponsorships.”

If I could live anywhere in the world, where would I live?

“Here,” Jaemin says confidently, beaming at you, “You’d want to live here with me. And I want to live here, too. Because this is the bestest place in the world.” He hesitates, faltering for a moment before searching your eyes. “Right?”

Who are you to say no to that?

You smile at him. “Right.”

What am I deathly afraid of?

“You’re afraid of spiders,” he announces, “You make me take care of all the spiders in the apartment.”

“Yeah, it’s the only reason I keep you around,” you say casually, and he gasps, insulted. You give him a cheeky smile. “I’m just kidding.”

He scowls at you, lips pulled into a frown. “You better be.”

What is the first thing that I do in the morning?

“Jaemin is never awake before I am,” you inform the camera, crossing your legs. “I have to wake him up first if we go anywhere.”

“Even if you don’t have to go to an event, you still wake up early to make sure I’m awake, so I won’t be late. So that’s what you do first thing in the morning: wake me up.” Jaemin nudges your leg. “You always come into my room as a blanket burrito with your comforter wrapped around you.”

“That’s because I have to face the treacherous cold to make sure you aren’t late to your events. But you still end up late anyway because you drag me down onto your bed and refuse to let me go until we lay there for twenty minutes,” you grumble, pulling up your legs onto your chair and wrapping your arms around your knees.

“Cuddling is a good way to conserve body heat and start the morning,” Jaemin states, waving his arms around to emphasize his point.

“Really? Do studies show that it’s beneficial to cuddle in the morning?”

“I don’t know.” Jaemin shrugs, making a noncommittal noise. He smiles at you, causing your stomach to do flip flops and your heart to do cartwheels. “But it makes me happy every morning, so I’d say that’s enough proof.”

Who usually wins our arguments?

“Y/N does,” Jaemin sighs heavily, leaning back against his chair in resignation. “You always win.”

“It’s true.” You nod, patting Jaemin’s arm consolingly. “It’s tough always being right, but someone has to do it.”

“You always pout, too, and I just give in because you’re too cute,” he says casually, and you freeze in your seat. Never mind the fact that he’s implying you’re wrong, Na Jaemin just called you cute.

Good thing this is caught on camera because this means you can secretly watch this multiple times in private. And also cringe over your awkward reaction, but let’s not talk about that right now because once again, Jaemin just called you cute. You! Cute! Jaemin! Your mind is honestly short circuiting, and you can’t do anything, except nod and smile like a complete fool.

What do we usually argue about?

“Adopting,” Jaemin says solemnly. Eyes widening, you wait for a moment, but he offers no explanation. You lightly shove his chair, and he rolls a few inches away. “Nana, you can't just end it like that! You have to say more than that!”

Turning towards the camera, you hurriedly explain, “He’s talking about pets. He wants to adopt five dogs and name them after Jisung, Chenle, Jeno, Renjun, and Mark. And then he wants to adopt a snake and name it after Donghyuck.”

“She said we could only get one dog and the snake.” Jaemin scowls, slumping in his seat as he stares into the camera. “I can’t believe she isn’t letting me get five dogs. I love Jisung and all non-Jisung’s equally.”

What’s my favorite clothing item?

“It’s not even yours. You always steals my white hoodie. I haven’t been able to wear it for the past month,” Jaemin complains, and you have the decency to look a little guilty.

You play with the strings of said hoodie that’s currently engulfing your body, curling into yourself as you tuck your face into the sweater like a turtle. “Your clothes smell nice.”

“But we use the same laundry detergent.” Jaemin wrinkles his eyebrows, confusion evident in his eyes. “All our clothes smell like snuggles and cotton.”

“It’s not the same,” you insist, wrinkling your nose, and he shakes his head, lips curling into a smile. He reaches over and tugs the hood of the sweater over your head playfully.

“Okay, whatever you say, angel. You look better in them than me anyway.”

Where am I on a Friday night?

“You’re here with me, eating Chinese take out and watching Criminal Minds,” you answer, and he agrees, nodding.

“We just finished watching all twelve seasons on Netflix, so if anyone has any show recommendations, please send them in!”

What is my weirdest interest?

“Once again, my clothes,” Jaemin says, and you begin to protest but he wags his finger at you. “No, no, no, you don’t get to disagree! You hoarded like six of my sweaters in your closet. I bought you the exact same sweater for your birthday, but you still take mine!”

You silently decide that it is better to accept this defeat than correct him because you actually have seven of his sweaters and a few tee shirts as well.

Who’s my favorite YouTuber?

“Me!” Jaemin’s hand shoots up in the air. “I’m your favorite YouTuber. Next question.”

Your hands start to get clammy as you look down at the final question you have been saving for last. It’s been a good fifteen minutes, and the butterflies still haven’t subsided. If anything, they seem to have multiplied and transformed into a whole rampaging zoo complete with elephants and monkeys.

“Uh, are you sure about that, Nana? ShowMeTheMonet is really good. I also really like itsmebetch a lot.” You stall for time, staring at the last question until the words are stamped in your mind. “Dream Unsolved and Worth It are amazing, too.”

Suddenly, Jaemin is right in front of you as he spins your chair around to face him, frowning and complaining, “What do you mean I’m not your favorite? You’re my favorite! What kind of best friend are you? This is a betrayal! An insult! This is worse than Jisung not calling me his favorite! How could you do this to m—”

“Okay, okay, you’re my favorite! I’m sorry! It was a joke,” you interrupt, but he turns away from you, crossing his arms over his chest.

“No, go make a video with ShowMeTheMonet instead.” He sulks, shoulders hunched over. “If you like her so much, go be best friends with her.”

“I’m sorry! I’ll buy you all the chocolate you want after this,” you plead with him, placing your phone on the table next to you. “I’ll even buy you boba everyday for a week!”

Jaemin brightens up at that immediately. “Oh, yeah! I want some milk tea after this! Okay, what’s the last question?”

You swallow hard, nervously fiddling with the hoodie strings once more and shoving all the butterflies down to the pit of your stomach. Twisting in your seat, you move your chair and spin his around until you’re both facing each other, knees touching.

“‘Where and when was our first kiss?’”

At the immediate thought of kissing you, his cheeks explode in various shades of pink, the tips of his ears catching fire. He’d be lying if he said he hasn’t thought about kissing you daily. Heck, he had to stop himself from doing so earlier when you were burying your face in his stolen hoodie. It’s so unfair that you’re always so cute and looking so… so… kissable.

“I, uh, I don’t think I can answer that,” your best friend stammers out as his eyes dart towards your lips before meeting yours.

“But you got all the other answers right.” Your voice comes out steadier than you thought it would, and you mentally pat yourself on the back. Gnawing on your bottom lip, you pause for a moment, balling your hands into fists before uncurling them and asking hesitantly, “Should I help you out?”

“Yes.” He wonders how exactly you can help him out. Oh god, did he kiss you before when he was drunk? But you would’ve told him if he did that. What if he had ki—

A soft pair of lips lands on his.

You’re kissing him. Oh my god, you’re kissing him! Jaemin wants to jump up and shout it from the rooftops. His heart leaps from his chest, and he’s wildly cheering in his mind as fireworks explode around him before he suddenly remembers that he has to kiss you back.

And so he does.

Jaemin tugs you closer until you’re pulled onto his lap, a muffled squeak of surprise coming from you, and he laughs as he presses his lips against yours more firmly, hands gripping your thighs as you straddle him. Your arms loop around his neck, and your heart ricochets in your chest as you kiss him back until your lungs are screaming for oxygen and you have to pull away.

Jaemin positively beams at you, eyes sparkling as he leans forward and nuzzles his nose against yours affectionately. He laughs breathlessly, resting his forehead against yours. “Yeah, that was really helpful. Our first kiss just happened right here a few seconds ago. And now, our second kiss is about to happen.”

Your best friend closes the distance, crashing his lips against yours once more, and you kiss him back just as fervently, smiling against his lips as he does the same. Never in either of your wildest dreams did you think this was going to happen, but you sure as heck aren’t complaining, and neither is he.

When the two of you finally break apart, you bury your face into the crook of his neck, flustered, and Jaemin laughs giddily, cheeks flushed and eyes twinkling. He hugs you tightly to his chest before nudging you to look up at him. “So did I get a 100% on the boyfriend tag?”

“Yes,” you say, sitting up straight on his lap and grabbing both of his hands in each of your own, intertwining your fingers with his. “You got twenty five out of twenty five. Congratulations on your perfect score.”

“Technically, you did do the boyfriend tag with your boyfriend then, right?” he says slyly, squeezing your fingers. “Shouldn’t I get some bonus points for helping you do the tag correctly?”

You chuckle, failing to contain your smile. “Okay, fine, you get bonus points, too. You did an A plus job, Nana.”

“I’ll take those bonus points in the form of kisses.” He puckers his lips at you, and you easily comply, wordlessly leaning forward to give him one, two, three kisses.

Jaemin grins at you, positively delighted before he attacks you with kisses, peppering soft kisses onto your cheeks, forehead, chin, the tip of your nose, and everywhere else in between until he finally kisses your lips gently.

If this was a cartoon, there would be hearts floating around his head and shooting from his eyes. He leans forward again to kiss you one more time for good measure. You smile mischievously, tilting your head to the side slightly as your hands curl around his shirt. “Are you sure there’s nothing else you want for your bonus points?”

His eyebrows furrow for a split second before his entire face lights up. Jaemin carefully cradles you, picking you up as his grip tightens under your thighs. You let out a quiet squeal, wrapping your arms around his neck, as he stands up enthusiastically.

“Cut the cameras!”

One new notification: peachyangel uploaded a new video!

nana ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚ commented:

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ANGEL 🥺💗💞💖💗🤩💝💕💜🤧💖💘😭💘🌼💐🥺💖🥺🥺🥺

peachyangel replied: ily too baby 🥺🤧💖💖

insert goofy’s chuckle commented:

is this allowed?? there are minors here 😫 jisung look away

peachyangel replied: get your mind out of the gutter, ya nasty 🙄 we turned off the cam because he wanted to go get milk tea

jisung pwark replied: I’m 18!!!!! Stop treating me like a child!!! 

ghosts are real so suck it hyuck replied: @ jisung pwark stop making me cut the crusts off of your sandwiches then

big head king replied: @ ghosts are real so suck it hyuck how come you don’t cut the crusts off of my sandwiches 😭😭

ghosts are real so suck it hyuck replied: @ big head king because you are a grown adult and jeno already does it for you

jenojam commented:

congrats jaemin!! :)

Starbucks Official commented:

we would love to sponsor you, Mr. Na!

FIGHTING HAEYADWAE commented:

OH YOU ARE NANA!!1!1!!! 🤯🤯

ShowMeTheMonet commented:

um hello i would love to do the gf tag with you! i accept!!! it would be an honor 🤩

peachyangel replied: omg yes!!!! 🥺🥺 let’s do it soon 💖

insert goofy’s chuckle replied: @ nana ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚ did… did we just lose our gfs 🤧

mork lee rawr xD commented:

hahaha nice guys ! this was really cute haha

ty track commented:

the babies are all growing up too fast ):

jeno is my favorite commented:

.... i feel so single @.@

DonutKillMyVibe commented:

let it be known that I was the friend who challenged @ peachyangel to do the challenge and hence, I am the reason these two are together 👀👀

ghosts are real so suck it hyuck commented:

someone should make an updated version of that jaemin complaining video compilation with this

big head king commented:

ayyy you all are the GOAT 🐐🐐🐐

jenojam commented:

so are we just gonna let it slide when he called everyone except jisung “non jisungs” ?

jisung pwark replied: 😎😎

insert goofy’s chuckle commented:

is no one gonna comment on how he called me a snake?????

ghosts are real so suck it hyuck replied: @ insert goofy’s chuckle is no one gonna comment on how much of a clown hyuck is???

insert goofy’s chuckle replied: @ ghosts are real so suck it hyuck wtf? where did this even come from

ghosts are real so suck it hyuck replied: @ insert goofy’s chuckle sorry I thought we were stating the obvious here

big head king replied: LOLOLOL

apado gwenchana god commented:

nice 😎👍🏻

[xsugarysweetsx]

Congrats on 2k mama sweet,,,!! :))

Since there is no sk8 requests yet how about option 2 - Kaoru x reader <3 Had this thought after reading ur arranged marriage fic... how about at the start of the marriage reader thinks that Kaoru is cheating on her when he sneaks out at night but after he tells her about S, reader feels kinda silly for thinking so.. next thing you know Kaoru is taking reader to all the beefs as his lucky charm. Reader even has a matching costume and the others start calling her "Lady Cherry" or smth,, teaches reader to skate (she's lowkey jealous of carla >.<) + some domestic fluff (what if reader finds out she's pregnant....) This doesn't have to be connected to the other fic & you can ignore the cheating part if u like... :-*

A/N: :0 Lady Cherry is a super smart name!

other fic here

Please enjoy~🍰

*******************************************************

There he went again...

The sliding door of your shared room altered you from your sleep. This was the 6th night in a row that he left without a word in the middle of the night. The first 2 nights you thought he was simply tending to business and was just busy. After the 4th day, you were suspicious and a bit hurt. He did tell you he didn’t want to hurt you and treat you right....so where was he going?

This was another night he had gotten up, so instead of staying in bed you followed him. 

“Carla, make sure to lock the doors when I leave“ he said to his AI

“Yes, master“ you scoffed. You had to admit the stupid computer got on your nerves. He practically loved talking to her and every time she answered him, he gets all giddy. You were really jealous but you wish he’d get that way with you.  

Just as he was going to leave you called for him

“Kaoru?“ he froze and turned around “It’s late...“ you said coming closer to him. That’s when you noticed what he was wearing, he was in a sleeveless yukata with a black mask over his face, and a...skateboard?

“Y/N I...um...“ being that he can’t speak about S he was contemplating whether to tell you or not. But you were his wife and he wanted to be open with you on everything. However what you said next caught him off guard

“...if there’s someone else please just tell me...“ and the way you looked when you said it just broke his heart. Did you really think he was cheating? Even though this was arranged, he couldn’t ask for someone better to be his wife. You were smart, shy but bright, not to mention beautiful.

“Y/N“ he walked to you and rests his hand on your shoulder “I would never cheat on you and I assure you there is no one else.”

“Then why do you leave at night?“ you ask

“*Sigh*....I go skating.“ he said bluntly. There was nothing to hide from you and it was all true

“...huh“ he lifted his board for you to see

“Some friends and I go skateboarding in a secret location for races and such. We only go at night so we go unnoticed.“ he held up a small pin “It’s called S..now that you know you can’t tell anyone. Now go throw something on, we’re heading out.“

Just as he said you were heading out in the dead of night. And of course you had to ride on Carla, every time he spoke to her it was like he was talking to his crush. As you approach a gate with two guards he gives you a larger sticker of the letter ‘S’. You show them to security and make it inside where people had started screaming. You knew he was popular among women but this was more than you thought

“Lord Cherry!!” one screamed 

“Kao-”

“Cherry” he interrupted 

“What?”

Getting his bike to a stop he helps you off and says “we don’t use our real names here for security reasons. Here I’m Cherry blossom.” 

So what he was telling you was true. You honestly felt a bit silly for jumping to conclusions so quickly. Before he was off to what he called a ‘beef’ he introduced you to JOE. You were surprised to see the popular chef here as well, although you knew they had been friends for years. The large screen in the area showed you just how goof he was at this. 

He was fast but graceful, sharp an precise on corners. The crowd only cheered louder than before. 

“So, you’re the one he’s been talking about huh?“ Joe asked 

“He’s been...talking about me?“ you asked

He nodded “He was gone for like 3 days in a row not to mention he was brushing off more women now. That’s when he told us there was someone he wanted to be loyal to.” okay, now you felt really silly. After the race was done and over with Cherry had made his way back to you. He comes and embarrass you and whispers in your ear

“You brought me good luck.“ you felt your heart skip a beat from the feeling of being close to him

“oooo, look at Lord Cherry with his lady~“

“Shut up you big oaf!!“

<>

During the next few months you had gone with him to almost every beef. You had even gained a name for yourself, ‘Lady Cherry’. You had become quite popular among some men there and even cherry’s female fans. He would usually bring you as his ‘lucky charm’, it was cheesy but sweet at the same time. They also had a habit of saying 

“The Cherries have arrived“ 

On his free time he would actually taught you how to skate, well he tried anyway. Balance wasn’t exactly easy and being from a traditional family, this was unusual for you. You’d be holding on to his shoulders while his hands held your waist

“Don’t let me fall“

“You’re doing just fine dear. Why don’t we try some tricks“ he offered  

“Are you sure you’re the man I married?“ you ask with a smirk

“The one and only dear“ he kissed your cheek 

It was honestly so cute to him. You’d have a scared but excited look on your face. Your cheeks would turn pink and it just made his heart fluttered. On top of all that you were willing to indulge in something he has loved from a young age. He always took you with him to each beef he attended. Both for showing you off an he is in love with the idea of winning every race for not just himself but for you as well.  

Although tonight you wouldn’t make it to the beef. He was going to race Joe but that was put on hold. You had been feeling sick all day and you just finished emptying your stomach. As much as you told him to go, he refused to leave.

“You’re my wife and you’re clearly not okay“ he said helping you up off the floor “you come before any beef or competition. Now come on, let’s get you to the hospital and get you checked out.“

A short drive to the general hospital was taken that night. No, he would not wait until tomorrow morning. He wanted to know that you were okay and didn’t have anything terminal. After speaking with the nurse and giving some blood and urine samples you both patiently waited. You leaned against him playing with the digits of his fingers. 

*Knock knock* “Ma’am we have your results” the doctor says holding up a couple of papers and even some medicine. “well, you’re clear for any terminal conditions or diseases. although you have some hormonal imbalances and some new ones kicking in.”

“Meaning?“ Kaoru urged him on

“Congratulations, you’re 4 weeks pregnant.“

“....“ you both sat in shock at the news. You were pregnant? Well, you two were active, and maybe Kaoru has his own little rituals. Either after or before a beef he’d get frisky and was set on pleasing you both. It shouldn’t have been a surprise that this would have happened, still it was shocking news

“These are some prenatal vitamins you’ll need to take for the month. Make sure to make an appointment to check on the baby alright?” giving you the vile of pills he takes his leave leaving you both in silence. What were you supposed to say? How were you going to deal with this? Were you even ready?

“-together.“ you didn’t catch his whole sentence 

“I’m sorry what was that?” you ask him

“We’ll this together alright?“ he took your hand in his “believe me I’m as shocked as you are but, we’ll figure this out together okay?“

“Alright“ you smile back 

“We should probably start with a bigger house for the three of us“

<>

“Kaoru, come on it’s just paint I can-“

“You are not moving a muscle“ he cut you off “I want you to rest all you can. You’re making a baby and that’s enough.“

To say he was strict during your pregnancy was an understatement. As soon as your belly started showing you were no longer going to beefs with him. You were currently 6 months along, and expecting a girl! Kaoru was over the moon to know it was a girl. he would have been happy with a boy too, but a little copy of you was like a dream. He couldn't wait to see the little girl that would look like you and act like him.

Today was nursery day, which meant painting, building and organizing. Kaoru had you only fold and organizing the clothes and things while he painted. Of course being your idea you had called the boys over to help. Joe was building some stuff along with Shadow. Langa and Reki were actually helping to paint the walls. 

“I appreciate you guys coming to help“ you smile 

“Hey it’s no problem, at least you told us about it“ Joe commented. Oh yeah, he also wanted to keep it a secret so that 

‘the idiot wouldn’t ruin your pregnancy‘ which made you laugh for a good 5 minutes. But they were very good help and made the process easier 

“Hey so what are you naming the baby?“ Reki asked 

“Well, Kaoru kind of wanted to associate it with his skate name so we agreed on Sakura.“

“AAWWHH“ everyone said out load slightly teasing him. Without turning from the wall he said

“....I just wanted a beautiful name for her was all.“ although he was cold at times they knew he meant well especially for his family.  A while late Joe made a small dinner for you all to enjoy. You thanked them for coming over and you were done for the night. You were putting on some lotion over your rounded middle when Kaoru came behind you. He wrapped his arms around and over your own hands and rested there for a moment

“Who would have thought we’d be here huh?” You whisper

“In all honesty I was hoping for it” he admired “before we married you were described as a caring and sweet woman. But you were so much more once we were married. You’re compassionate, intelligent, stubborn, beautiful, and absolutely perfect” he said kissing the side of your head “and now, you’ve given me the gift of being a father. Thank you”

Turning in his hold you wipe away small tears “oh Kaoru , thank you too. You’ve treated me like I’m the only person you need. On top of that you take care of me but still give me my freedom. I love you..”

“And I love you” he rests his forehead against yours as his fingers trace over your baby bump.

*******************************************************

I hope this was okay!❤️

[drabsyo]

I was wondering...I was always confused about Narcissa’s hair. It’s been a while since I read the books. Did she color it blonde to show her now belonging to House Malfoys. Or was it naturally blonde? Movies confused me a bit I guess.

Yes, this had me confused too! I've agonized and toiled over it, more than I probably should, about how I should draw her hair because people have generally different views, which is totally understandable! 💕

And I've always wanted to discuss it, so now that I've been given a reason to... Well.

If you take a look at some of my Narcissa fanart, you'll notice the different ways I'd color her hair. I was so confused. Is she a light blonde? Dark blonde? A mix of raven hair and blonde hair? If she has blonde hair then why does her family have (mostly) dark hair? And WHY does she have blue eyes?! This woman is absolutely confusing! (Which is kind of, you know, fitting because Narcissa always loves to be a mystery to literally anyone lol)

So I did my homework, asked around, and scoured every bit of information, canon or otherwise, that I could find about her. It led me to this:

In canon, this is what the Black sisters look like. You can find the page here. Narcissa is a child here, and already has blonde hair. So we can go ahead and safely assume that she was born with natural blonde hair. But in the films, Narcissa has black and blonde hair. I don't actually know why they gave her that hair color, maybe so that the audiences wouldn't question her blood relations with the Blacks--I don't know. I really don't. But now we have a book version Narcissa, one who has full blonde hair. And a movie version Narcissa, one who has raven and blonde hair. At least, that's how the different hair colors started: a movie version, and a book version.

So... here's where it gets confusing.

To my knowledge, it isn't actually explained why her hair color is the way it is in both the movies and the books. Having blonde hair does raise many questions, how is she the "only" blonde in a family of dark hair and dark eyes? To top it all off, it gets even more confusing, because fanon writes and draws her either as a full blonde or a mix of raven and blonde hair. We just have this large pile to sift through of her having either hair color. No one actually explains anything. She's just... infuriatingly there. She's either blonde or raven haired and blonde. BUT fanfiction writers, as I've observed, give their own reasons why Narcissa's hair color is the way it is in their respective stories. And it's actually pretty creative and interesting! It adds even greater depth to her character, and it fits the narrative of the story even better. Remember, the character we're dealing with is Narcissa Black. One of her main traits is "she won't do anything unless there is a clear purpose behind it." This character is deliberate, meticulous, and she makes sure to plan ahead at all times. And so, some fanfiction writers decide to play on that.

You can skip this part if you want to avoid spoilers but I've compiled a small list of instances in (Cissamione) fanfiction where Narcissa's hair is mentioned.

🔹 In Extinction by rubikanon in Chapter 10: Build and Break, Hermione asks Narcissa about it. Here, Narcissa has black and blonde hair. She explains that she only decided to dye it blonde to "fit in with the Malfoys." We can gather two things from that alone, which resonates with her character perfectly: 1.) Narcissa is loyal and 2.) Narcissa purposefully wants to show the rest of the world how loyal she is by committing to having blonde hair. The woman has some serious commitment, and it shows. But now, the way that it's slowly growing back into her natural black hair color, hints that perhaps Narcissa no longer wishes to fit in with the Malfoys. However, if we take an even closer look, we can safely assume that Narcissa isn't the kind of person to just leave her hair color "unattended" like that. Remember, she's meticulous. And this is a big deal for her, the fact that she's just kind of letting it grow back instead of either fully dyeing it back to black, or dyeing it back to blonde. It suggests that perhaps she's a little unsure this time, perhaps it is her uncertainty that is the reason why it's now a mix of both. Another grey area? Or maybe it's actually something more deliberate? Maybe now, she likes that it's a mix of both. That other half now being solely for Draco, and not to fit in (completely) with the Malfoys any longer. Who knows why Narcissa does things the way she does? We can speculate to the ends of the earth, or be as smart as Hermione Granger (or with the case of Extinction, see Hermione's thoughts), but something tells me we'd still be a good step behind.

"Which one is your natural hair color?" I wondered aloud.

(Narcissa) She glanced up at the unexpected question. I was relieved she hadn't sensed my attention yet. It's not like I meant anything by it, I told myself. She was so beautiful, one couldn't help but notice. And feel physically drawn to her. And want to see her two-toned hair fanned across her back, slipping over the bare skin, silky beneath my fingers...

"Why do you ask?" Her query brought me back to reality, and I hurriedly corrected my imagination to include a pretty dress covering the rest of her.

"I don't know." I chewed the inside of my cheek, suppressing my other thoughts. "I'm just curious."

Her gaze returned to the fire. "You've seen enough of my relatives to guess which color is genetic. The blond is something I added to fit in with the Malfoys, after Draco was born." She was quiet for a moment. "He looks so much like his father. I suppose I wanted to share some resemblance."

🔹 In Killing Me Softly by Looktotheedges in Chapter 4: Nagging, Hermione suggests that perhaps Narcissa is part Veela because of her blonde hair and very attractive features, like Fleur. Which is this whole other theory/plot that's very interesting, but won't be discussed in this post. Narcissa tells Hermione that Sirius has always been blonde, and that it isn't out of the question for her to be blonde either. Sirius Black. A blonde. I know! Maybe it's there because it's funny that Sirius is actually blonde like Narcissa. Prissy, haughty, lady-like Narcissa. Arguably the 'girliest' cousin that he has. No, no, no. He doesn't want to be anything like Narcissa. Anyway, if that's the reason, I think that's hilarious and cute.

Narcissa turns away. 'I am aware my appearance is frightfully drab. Work has been…'

Hermione holds back a disbelieving scoff. 'Narcissa. You always look beautiful. And you’re talking to the witch with grass in her hair who practically lives in her office all week.'

Narcissa just leans further over the crib. 'A blonde little boy. It has been so long since… I can almost imagine…'

Hermione stands next to her. Looks down at the peacefully sleeping Louis. He does look remarkably like Draco. 'Are you sure there’s no Veela blood in you? You weren’t secretly switched at birth?'

'Like a changeling?'

'It would explain your blonde hair.'

'Sirius was also blonde, it is not completely out of the question for us Blacks.'

What?!

(...) 'I know. But it is the truth. He was blond until he was about seven… then it began to darken. Mousy. Dull. He wanted to look cool and brooding instead, so he got his hands on some kind of charm right before he set off for Hogwarts. A new, edgy Sirius. It was around then he forbade us from calling him Siri. Said it sounded too girly.'

🔹 In Fixed in Time by TheWorldsaBeastofBurden in Chapter 9: Sisters and Saviors, it's also tackled a little humorously. Andromeda let's a little comment slip while they're in the middle of trying to heal Hermione. Something funny, something that suggests Andromeda and Bella, when they were children, have always wondered why Narcissa is blonde unlike them.

The first words spoken occurred after they’d risen and attempted their casting. Andromeda’s preparedness to take on their task had been clear in her mind so Narcissa rose with her sister, wrapped an arm around her waist and held her near as the woman raised her wand to draw up the rest of the injury she’d dropped, half a slash across Hermione’s hip bone…

That remained half, as Andromeda growled out, “...it isn’t working.” she looked to Narcissa, “Why aren’t you powering me?”

What nonsense? “I am!” she insisted. She was! Or “I- I am trying to!” Her magic was active and alive, pulsing to rise from her skin and transfer into Andromeda’s but it- it wasn’t working! “Could...could it be that you were disowned?”

“Disowning doesn’t take away the fact that we share blood, our magic is directly related. Ugh, Bella always said you were adopted!”

“Oh ha- oh.”

“...oh?” Andromeda returned.

“...it’s not an issue of power. It is what I intend to aid in casting,” Narcissa slowly worked out. Oh, it was most blessed Mister Goyle could be brought to assist the present Hermione. If her present self had been brought to aid Andromeda? “...I cannot harm Hermione.”

Andromeda sighed with some frustration. “I understand you are so tenderly in love-”

“It isn’t- I’m avowed! I- when we arrived from the future we had to escape Malfoy Manor, I couldn’t bring Hermione through the wards without...I couldn’t add her directly, that would be visible. I had to...attach her permission to mine.”

🔹 In Glass Silence by Zarrene Moss (Menzosarres), which probably gives one of the most interesting backstories for Narcissa's hair, for why it's blonde. I can't put a clip of the scene here without hogging up a huge chunk of space on your dash, so I'll try to explain it as best I can instead.

Understand that these come with serious 🛑spoilers🛑 so please do read it at your own risk.

In Glass Silence, Narcissa's hair and eye color was black at birth. But after an accident with raw magic, something Bellatrix wasn't able to control when they were children, Narcissa almost dies. Bellatrix, using even more raw magic, tries desperately to pull Narcissa's "life force" back, but at the cost of losing the eumelanin that made Narcissa's eyes and hair black. Narcissa survived, but now has very little eumelanin left, which is why she's so pale, blonde, and has blue eyes. Every time Narcissa looks at a mirror, her reflection is a reminder of the day she almost died. Bella, on the other hand, is reminded of that day every single time she looks at Narcissa.

So! These are only a few fanfictions I could think of at the top of my head that tackles the issue of Narcissa's hair. In the books, to my knowledge, she is described as having blonde hair and very pale skin.

But let's take another deep dive, if you're up for it.

These are mostly theories, which are largely unconfirmed, but I think they're interesting to think about.

There's this description in the wiki:

"Narcissa Malfoy is described as tall, slim, "nice looking", and very pale, with blue eyes, long blonde hair, and a clear, cold voice. Her hair colouring thus differs from most of the House of Black, who generally have dark hair, though Narcissa does possess the arrogant good looks characteristic of her family."

There's also this pinterest photo of the Black sisters being compared to each other side by side, descriptively and physically. I'm so sorry, I don't know who drew it, but here's a link to the post on pinterest.

"Narcissa threw back her hood. She was so pale she seemed to shine in the darkness... long blonde hair streaming down her back."

Which is interesting because this hints that she's... different. It's a bit literal in this sense--she comes from a pureblood family, arguably the most influential and notorious one, the Blacks, who mostly have dark hair and eyes, and yet her physical appearance directly contrast that. There's also the matter of her namesake. She's the only Black to be named after a flower instead of a galaxy or a star. We aren't really given any explanation why she's the only one who's different. Even Sirius, who fought and died for the side of the Light, is named after the brightest star in the sky. Even Andromeda. It's been said that this is actually meant to be a parallel of some sort to Lily Evans. Narcissa and Lily are both named after flowers, even Petunia (Lily's sister). And I know there's this thing where it's a tie up to how Harry was ultimately saved by a mother's love: Harry lived at the beginning because of his mother's love, and Harry lives once again at the end of the books because Narcissa, a mother who wanted to save her own son, saved him.

If you read that scene in the books where Harry is saved by Narcissa, the whole scene is actually... pretty soft? There's that sort of disarming softness about Narcissa in that moment, where Harry expected to be callously dragged and prodded for a heartbeat. Instead, he gets a surprisingly gentle touch, a curtain of long blonde hair shielding him from the darkness, and the kind of tenderness he wouldn't expect from his enemies, "Is Draco alive?"

It's almost like Narcissa's appearance is something of a "tell". With Andromeda, she's described to have kind eyes, open, unguarded. She inherited her family's dark eyes and dark hair, and she even looks like Bellatrix's twin. I suppose we could say, Andromeda wants to fight that in any way she can by being openly kind. Narcissa is quite literally the opposite--guarded eyes, stoic expressions, cool and calculated emotions. We're veering into this fine line between fanon and canon in terms of their characterization (but only due to lack of canon materials) but personally, I think Narcissa having blonde hair and blue eyes is somewhat more fitting for her character. Again, this line:

"Narcissa threw back her hood. She was so pale she seemed to shine in the darkness... long blonde hair streaming down her back."

It's like that one glaringly obvious hint that everyone overlooks simply because... because it's the most obvious one. "Me! I'm different! I'm the last person you'd expect, but it really is me!"

Anyway. I've rambled on long enough. Hope this clears up some of that confusion, anon. Hoping it didn't ADD even more confusion... 😂 At the end of the day, this is just me speculating, gushing, and being One Big Fool™. So.

But either way, blonde hair, dark hair, mix of both, I adore her. Pretty much.

[leonhardt-simp]

AOT girls + Hange reacting to ‘deez nuts’ jokes.

[modern AU]

this isn’t a request but it’s funny so, here you go as my first post. Requests are open ! reblogs are okay ! this is a repost since I moved acc !

cw/ kind of suggestive on yelena’s

Annie Leonhardt: She would look at you with a whole lot of judgment for making such a joke in the first place. Expect a light punch in the arm or a pillow thrown to your face after said joke.

“what do you want to eat?” Annie asked, looking down at her phone as she proceeded to scroll through her phone. You both had been out all day and had both arrived at her house bit late.

Just as you were gonna answer, you suddenly had a grand thought come to mind.

you moved your body back to rest against the back of the couch, crossing your arms over your chest as you let out a light hum.

“hmm, how about DN?” you smiled at her, her expression suddenly turning into one of confusion as she looked up from her phone.

“what’s DN?”

“DEEZ NUTS ! HAH !” You laughed in victory.

Annie wouldn’t even respond. She just looked at you, her eyes squinting and eyebrows furrowed down.

She even tilted her head a bit, trying to understand how the joke was funny.

“Really-?”

“Sheesh, tough crowd.”

Mikasa Ackerman: she would be genuinely confused at first because she didn’t understand who candice was. poor girl would actually think someone named candice was an actual person in your life. you would have to explain the joke.

Mikasa and you both would be hanging out at the library with connie and sasha when the opportunity had risen.

Connie had been joking around with you and sasha as Mikasa had been studying with the small chaos, using it a background noise.

it was actually also Connie telling you to make the joke in the first place, he had been getting everyone else with it but he hadn’t had the opportunity to catch mikasa off guard yet.

So, you did. “Mikasa.” you leaned over to her side, Connie and Sasha were already laughing and giggling like idiots across the table.

“hmm?” she asked, looking up from her laptop and over to you with a the most genuine expression. “what is it?”

You couldn’t back down yet !

“Do you know candice?” Her expression faltered a bit and look a bit confused.

“You never spoke of a candice to me before- Who’s candice?-“

“CANDICE DIC-“

“Lower your voice-“ Mikasa would interrupt you, your confidence almost instantly dissipating in the little pause between you both.

“Now, who’s Candice-? Is she someone from your class-?”

Connie and Sasha bursted out into laughter when the joke couldn’t even come out of your mouth. How could you continue now?

Sasha Braus: You can’t outplay her in these jokes, she knows them like the back of her hand. She always manages to flip the joke onto you. almost always ends up with her laughing at you.

You both had gone to go out to eat so you both had been just sitting in her truck, her hand resting in yours as you both waited in the drive-thru line.

You had been trying for a good minute to catch her in these jokes. It’s not like you would do it all the time but, you knew you were getting close to getting her back. So you found your chance.

Casually, you began to start up on another conversation. hoping, you could catch her finally.

“Sasha, You never really did tell me. Do you prefer tapes or cds?” you asked as you turned to her, playing with the wristbands she wore. Sasha didn’t take the bait.

“Oh? I thought I told you on our first date. Remember? I even told you I was huge fan of D.” She responded casually.

This was what suddenly caught you off guard.

“I never even heard of a singer named Dee-“

“DEEZ NUTS”

“god fucking damn it, sasha-“

Historia Reiss: She would just let out the biggest groan and just be like “Reaaaaally?” it’s funny. She later try to get you back but she would fumble on her joke and say it wrong. Eventually, she would get frustrated and just go “Man, whatever-“

it was an easy opportunity with Historia, especially now. She was more focused on playing animal crossing than anything else really at the moment.

She was resting comfortably in between your legs, the back of her head just resting against your abdomen as she ran around her virtual island.

“Hisu.” You couldn’t help but start laughing at your girlfriend’s impending doom.

Her hand movements paused slightly to tilt her head up to look at you. “hmm?”

“I heard you had a little crush on Venessa Paradis?” you questioned.

“I- what-?” Historia immediately sat up at the sudden accusation. “who the hell said that? who the fuck is Vanessa?”

“Pair a deez nuts !” You caught her and with that, you suddenly got a pillow to the face.

“REALLY? THAT’S LIKE THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK-“

“YOU SHOULD’VE LEARNED FROM YOUR MISTAKES, DARLING-“

Ymir: Ymir doesn’t even give you the satisfaction of even answering questions. it’s usually gonna be like “If it’s another deez nuts joke, I swear-“ sometimes she will just tease you for the fact you still make those jokes.

Ymir often took you out for lil drives at night, since usually during exam season you both barely get to see each other. Just some light music playing and you both just enjoying each other’s company.

Of course, though during your usual catch-up conversations. You decided to pull another joke on her.

“Connie has been telling me you’ve been into imagine dragons lately? what’s up with that?” you questioned.

Ymir just looked at you, she let her lips press together in a little thin line as she just let the silence grow between you. she just looked at you as if you already knew the answer.

“you know, I’ve laughed at funnier jokes hisu’s niece had told me.” she said, looking back at the road ahead.

“low blow, ymir.”

“blow on deez nuts.”

“YMIR-!”

Pieck Finger: She just kinda looks at you with a lil doe eyes. Sometimes she conflicted between saying “wow, you really said that.” and “wow, that was actually kind of a good one.” isn’t one to ruin your fun but doesn’t mean she can’t judge.

Pieck had just gotten out from her exhausting classes. She wanted nothing more than to just visit you and lay on you, let you just hold her as she napped for a bit of the day.

When she had arrived to your dorm, you could easily see that the day had taken a toll on her energy.

After tossing her bag to the ground, Pieck made her way on over to your side of the dorm room and crawled onto your bed to take her spot on top of you.

“Pieck, my love, darling. move a bit, I’m watching the Yankees vs Expoz game.” You asked, finding a more comfortable position. You would let your hand rest on Pieck’s lower back as your eyes turned back to the small tv you had.

Pieck’s head lifted up to look at the tv, somewhat interested. “Who are the Expoz?”

“EXPOZ DEEZ NUTS.” Without saying, she would just get off of you and go take her nap with her back turned to you.

“I- babe I’m joking-“

“nope- lost your chance.”

Yelena: Yelena doesn’t really care for these kinds of jokes. Sometimes they will just kinda fly over her head or she will just roll her eyes and continue on with what she was saying or doing.

Yelena and you had been getting both getting ready for a small gathering that she wanted to go to. Just her, you and some friends. It was to celebrate for finishing off exam season strong or something like that.

“Do you think this top would look nice with these pants?” she asked, holding up a white and blue stripped button up and some black pants.

“it’s just casual wear, right? then definitely, but make sure you don’t leave it unbuttoned like you usually do. I’m tired of seeing waitress ladies look at you.” You answered. You stepped closer to her, letting your arms wrap around her waist.

“Ah- is that jealousy I hear in your tone, babe?” she asked, her tone teasing as she leaned down to gently press her lips against the corner of your mouth.

“I don’t know, maybe it’s Ligma.”

“Well, whatever it is. I kind of like how it looks on your face.” she whispered against your lips, her hand dropping the button up onto her bathroom counter before letting it hold your jaw.

“I- ahaha- We have a gathering to go to, love.”

“hmm.. we have some time before then.”

Hange Zoë: They finds them absolutely hilarious. Kinda like Sasha, sometimes they will turn the joke onto you. Won’t actively make them but they will catch you sometimes.

You both were at the grocery store. Hange had a always had grown into a habit of forgetting to buy groceries so, when you came over to their house and saw that their fridge was borderline empty- you had to pull them to do some shopping.

“Ah- WHY IS MILK SO EXPENSIVE NOWADAYS?” They would groan out loud as you stayed by the grocery cart.

You watched them come back with a gallon, putting it in the cart with the other produce you both had gathered.

You knew hange didn’t like shopping so, to lighten the mood, you decided to joke around with them a bit.

“Milk is expensive but have you seen the price of fermented succondese?” you asked, leaning on the bar of the cart.

“What the hell is that?”

“SUCK ON DEEZ NUTZ !”

It was always pleasant to see Hange’s face go from surprised to laughing after the joke finally processed through their brain.

“AHAHAHAHA, THAT’S A GOOD ONE, Y/N. HAVE YOU HEARD THE ONE ABOUT GOBLINS THOUGH?”

[hotwings0203]

Gilded Cage

A/N: It’s embarrassing how long this took but oh well, happy new year to everyone and I hope you enjoy scummy yandere hawks!

Warnings: dubcon, kidnapping, abuse, toxic relationships, degradation, yandere themes

************

At first she welcomed the bright flashing lights like a breath of fresh air, but in due time it made her throat close up like the rest of the situation.

He had agreed to let her out if she behaved, and that meant no biting, scratching, screaming, flinching, temper tantrums, and worst of all, no silent treatment.

And she would take it like a champ if it meant seeing any other person in 6 months.

He had kept her here like a flightless bird in this cage of theirs, and oh how ironic it was that she was succumbed to be the prey of this ruthless hawk, with him able to soar amongst the people and buildings while Y/n stayed perched in the house, her ever-growing wings mentally becoming too much for her to control and stay silent about.

She needed space, she wanted to leave, but she didn’t dare voicing any of her wants, especially when Keigo made it so clear how her meager wants were of no match for his needs.

And his needs, as he’s made so clear thus far, include her being a pliant, quiet, yet loving little birdie who cooks, cleans, and lays with him day and night without complaint.

God forbid she speaks up about her...living conditions, as he liked to so generously supply to her the first and last time she ever had this conversation with him. She tried telling him how she originally had loved their relationship of a couple of months, and sure it might have been weird for him to push her into moving in with him only after 3 months, but it was because of how much he loved her or so he said at least, when he bashed her head repeatedly on the ground when she told him it “wasn’t normal to rush into things so fast”.

Sure, he had a big spacious penthouse lent to him by the Hero Commission so being physically cramped was never a problem, and yes okay he showered her with gifts and little trinkets, just like birds did with their mates even more so after a big fight that usually left her black and blue, with swollen lips, ripped up knees and big red welts on her wrists while the hero himself was left with not even a feather out of place.

But there were days where their movie nights and cuddling sessions didn’t cut it for her anymore. There were nights when she couldn’t take his suffocating arms around her a second longer, only to be replaced by an even heavier and darker presence when she tried turning on her side away from him.

Sometimes it would be a chain reaction caused by the smallest of catalysts, however. It would be on a day where he left the restraints on a little too tightly, and Y/n was forced to use toothpaste on her wrists instead of the salve Keigo always kept in the medicine closet. Other times it would happen when he would keep feeling up her sides and pressing into her after a long day of her cooking in hopes that the plentiful food would be enough to keep him occupied away from her, even if it was for an hour or two.

It never was, though. He always wanted her, whether it was her scent, her presence, or her clothes that he kept in his pockets on his missions.

On those days, the days where she felt too much Keigo, too many feathers and too much Hawks was when she snapped.

Down would go the plates, the expensive wine glasses, the vases filled with flowers sent by hundreds of fangirls who knew nothing about the monster that he actually was. She’d tear out her mussed hair, red-faced with tears that ruined her makeup the makeup that she liked to wear on these types of days just to piss him off, knowing that he thought “excess makeup is for whores and catfishes. I already know you’re a whore, well, my whore, but you’re not even good enough at applying makeup to be deemed a catfish so don’t even try it hummingbird” while screaming in his face to let go, for the love of god Hawks PLEASE let me go I want to go home I don’t want this anymore I don’t want YOU anymore this isn’t working out I don’t love you-

And crack would be the sound of his palm across her face, knocking her to the floor. On these types of days he wouldn’t even think she deserved a change in facial expression, staring down at her pathetic trembling body while his lips were set in a subtle casual smile, his hands stuffed in his pockets as if he never raised an arm a second ago, and his eyes remained golden and neutral, the only indication of him processing her tantrum was the black glint in his pupils that dilated every time she gasped and sobbed on the floor.

To ensure that his precious, oh-so fragile lovebird wouldn’t hurt herself any further with her stupidity, he’d crouch down inches away from her face and cock his head slightly as a real bird would do. He’d reach out and lift her chin to face him while his other hand would snake up her thigh to try and console her which only succeeded in making her shake and breath unevenly.

Leaning forward to ghost his lips over the shell of her ear, he’d relish in the way her mouth would part in terror as he would lovingly whisper every threat of what he’d do to her the next time she wanted to be like a brat, because god help her if she thought he couldn’t tame a brat after dealing with a lifetime of villains.

It was almost laughable, how easy she was to silence. He didn’t even need to use feathers to pull her to her feet when he would tell her to go to the bed and get on all fours like the bitch she was.

She had to earn her way back into being his good, obedient little dove, on days like these.

But after these days would pass and she would indeed realign with his expectations, he would reward her greatly.

Never like this, though.

Y/n is brought to the present again as another flash of light from the paparazzi snaps her out of her daze. As the spots begin to fade from her vision, she sees Keigo in front of her adorning his trademark “for the fans-only” grin, although Y/n would call it a sleazy smile, the same smile he would give her before he signaled his feathers to cut deep into her feet so she’d stop kicking at him as he dragged her on the floor and feels him squeeze her hand a little too tightly to be dubbed as endearing.

“Stop zoning out on me, you look like a ditz”, he hisses through his teeth, his grin now resembling more of a bared-teeth look.

She tries to try to fix her face and pull the corners of her mouth up, attempting to also brighten her eyes and looking interested at the blond interviewer who was now conversing with Hawks about his recent team-up with Endeavor. It takes every ounce of self-restraint to not shove past the phony smiles and flashy attire enveloping her and waltz down the red carpet to the doors of the gala. She thinks if she hears him utter another word about how he’s so incredibly blessed to have the love and support of my fans, family, and most importantly, my girlfriend who has stuck by my side through thick and thin, she’ll puke on the bedazzled yellow dress the interviewer has on.

As if. He’d probably whisk her off to the nearest bathroom and pummel her on the floor right then and there just for being distracted, but not before fucking her as well.

She feels Hawks nudge her side, and on cue she darts her head up and really plasters on a blinding smile as she focuses on the question that was just asked to her.

“Sorry, what was that? I think I got distracted by your outfit, you look lovely tonight, an absolute catch.” She winks for good measure, just to salvage the damage of ignoring the conversation and Keigo’s tight-lipped smile, which was beginning to soften.

Bingo.

“Oh you’re so sweet! I can see why Mr. Number Two here swooped in to take such a cutie like yourself.” The interviewer giggled, twirling a golden lock around her finger. “But no worries, I was just saying you should come make a public appearance more often! I mean, the media barely gets to see you with Hawks intimately, it would be a great excuse to get all glammed-up as well...I mean, if Hawks here hasn’t got his talons sunk too deep into you.” She laughs shrilly and doesn’t notice how both Y/n and Keigo tense up at her insinuation.

Yeah lady, you’re not too far from the truth. The last time I tried to look nice and go outside, I was bedridden for a week and a half while nursing frozen peas over 7 different parts of my body, inside and out.

But if Keigo can bullshit more than he can tell the truth, then so could she.

She laughs warmly and places her hand on his shoulder lightly, just to sell the “supportive girlfriend” look.

“Well, I really would love to come out and show my support for him more often, but we’ve both agreed that with all the publicity anyways, it’s just too much pressure for me to deal with. I’d rather just stick with what I know and keep it hush between him and I.” She turns her gaze to Keigo now, superficially giving him a puppy-in-love look but discreetly seeking his approval if what she said was the correct thing or not.

He merely gave her an amused smile, as if to say damn, wasn’t expecting that answer but I guess it’s fine. Yeah. Two can play at that game.

Pleased with her answer, the blond bimbo turns on her heel and sashays away, leaving the couple by themselves.

Keigo gives Y/n a side eye and cautiously holds out his elbow for her to take. A peace offering for the meantime, just to reward her for the quick save.

Don’t fuck this up for me, or you’ll regret it tenfold when we get back home.

“Shall we?” He waits for her to oblige, and of course she does.

Arm-in arm, they gracefully walk down the red carpet towards the gold plated doors. Upon entering, Y/n’s breath is taken away at the grand hall, with red banners hanging from the balconies that had navy blue and gold words of praise for the heroes engraved in the silk. Hundreds of pro heroes filled the room, much more than what she was used to from only interacting with her captor for months.

Guiding her over to the long granite bar, Keigo squeezes her arm before lightly dropping it. Before she can move, he stands directly in front of her and his vermillion wings unfurl and slightly surround the two of them, creating their own little space. To others, it might’ve just looked like two lovers embracing each other and having their own little moment. Y/N knew better, however, and suspected he had ulterior motives.

She was right.

“I’m gonna leave you here for a few minutes, ‘kay? I don’t want you moving from here,” he murmured, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, and she had to suppress a shudder at his unwanted proximity. “The feather stays on, and I better not see or hear anything funny while I’m away.”

She nodded and touched her necklace that was indeed laced with one of his feathers, remembering the deal he made when he agreed to let you out for the day.

Ah yes, the dreaded feather.

When she had approached him on shaking legs two days prior, Hawks was brushing his hair in the bathroom, keen on meticulously keeping it styled and ruffed up in the morning. It was one of the things that Y/N would begrudgingly say was one of his finest features, along with his natural eyeliner-shaped markings and rugged yet handsome facial features.

On good days, she liked to lightly trace her fingers and across his sharp jawline and feel the stubble growing on his blushed face. She’d try to stop immediately however, when he’d open his eyes and catch her hand, moving it across his body much to her chagrin and down to his-

She had stood outside the door, fumbling with the hem of her thin nightie and desperately trying to pull the short material past her bare thighs as she mustered up the courage to bring up her proposition.

Keigo slowly ceased his brushing when he saw the meek little thing quivering outside his door, and he quirked up an amused eyebrow. He braced both arms on either side of the sink, and let out a light exhale, before addressing her.

“Something wrong hummingbird?”

She dragged her eyes from the floor up to his dilated golden irises, and blurted out what she had been rehearsing in her head for the past couple of days:

“DoyouthinkIcouldcomewithyoutothegala?”

“Huh?” he snickered, thoroughly bewildered by what incomprehensible nonsense she had stuttered out.

Y/N bit her lip and took in a shaky breath, strike one, she fumbled her first try.

“Haw- uh, Keigo,” she corrected quickly. He preferred her using his first name, his real name. He claimed it made things more intimate between them as if carving his name on her back hadn't been enough to seal their “intimacy’-she didn’t need to be told twice what to call him by after that day “I was wondering...if I’m good and I don’t give you a hard time, can I come with you to the hero's gala?”

Keigo’s brow furrowed slightly, and he cocked his head to the side like a real bird. He seemed to be contemplating it.

“Alright,” he conceded after a couple seconds. “If, and I mean if you listen to me and don’t try any funny business while we’re there I’ll let you tag along.”

Y/N darted her eyes up to him, hope swimming in her heart.

“But you have to wear the feather.”

She immediately blanched.

A major inconvenience that she had come to terms with in the duration of her stay with him had been his stupid fucking feathers that layed oh-so-casually around the floor where she walked and coincidentally clinging to her clothes wherever she went out of Keigo’s eyesight, even though she was trapped on the same floor with him.

They had special properties; they could detect any movement, sense any vibration whenever he called for it. This made for a perfect tracker for Y/N in terms of whenever he wanted an update on her heartbeat, her mood, her whereabouts, and anything in between.

Yes, it was suffocating. But she would much rather it only be a suffocating feeling rather than him actually directing hundreds of feathers to surround her and hold her down on the bed or floor to do whatever he wanted with her in any position he pleased.

She didn’t dare complain to his face, however. She’d grit her teeth, grin and bear it, listen to every whim he demanded of her if it meant one night of superficial normalcy.

And so she put on her best behavior on the days leading up to the main event. She made dozens of dishes that circulated around chicken (his favorite binge food), she let them have “cuddle time”, with no complaints whatsoever when he insisted on bathing her and dressing her up in stupid pink frilly skirts, and she even gave him little subtle looks with a batting of her eyelashes when he looked down fondly at her good mannerisms and praised her for being such a sweet little birdie.

Eventually, her acting paid off and on the morning of the gala she was merited with a silk red dress that stopped at her upper thigh, ornamented with gold earrings and a 12K necklace to really sell off the look-which was of course wrapped around one of his feathers. Hawks had even hired a makeup artist who was instructed to not ask or say anything to Y/N save for questions about the products, much to her pleasant surprise.

She was still reminded of how much she had to grovel for him every time he rewarded her that afternoon.

“You look stunning, chickadee,” Keigo leaned against the dresser with his arms crossed, and smiled warmly at Y/N. “You’re making her look like a real model, maybe she should take over my job instead. Or, actually, maybe you could stop by my agency and make me all pretty for my next photoshoot.” He directed this last tease at the makeup artist and winked, causing the oblivious employee to giggle and blush.

Ugh, barf. He’s even a sleaze when I’m right here.

Y/N feigned a roll of her eyes, which didn’t go unnoticed by the hero. She could feel his dilated eyes boring into her the rest of the 15 minutes of touch-ups. Eventually everything was done, and Hawks left praise after shameless praise fall from his lips and onto the poor fangirl’s heart as he guided her out the door, a hand on her lower back as he did so.

She took the opportunity to get up and walk to the full-length mirror, admiring how she looked for the first time in ages. Gone were the multi-colored marks that decorated her body as if she were nothing more than a mere canvas for her painter to use. Her eyes seemed a little brighter too, and it wasn’t just the makeup that caused it. She stood a little straighter and squared her shoulders, her chin tilted up more than before while she stared at her reflection. She didn’t recognize the woman in the mirror, and she liked it for once.

It was ridiculous, she knew it was to feel so vain but she couldn’t help but bask in her potential freedom for just one night. She looked gorgeous, she felt confident, and she had earned it all on her own.

Cocking her head to the side, she tried to practice a couple smiles to be camera-ready for when the time came. She turned the corners of her lips up, then showed her teeth, and even tried fluffing her hair up sensually. Biting her lip slightly, she threw her head back, causing her curled locks to bounce and lowered her eyelids to look sexy. She giggled at her own stupidity and poses, completely unaware that a certain winged-man had entered the room and leaned against the door for the past couple of minutes, simply watching the little show she put on.

“That's quite a look you’ve got there hun, why don’t you make those faces more often with me?”

She immediately froze, her breath hitching. She didn’t dare look at him in the eye from the mirror.

“I mean, I’m the only one who should be seeing such a slutty expression anyways, right?” He said ever-so casually, hands in his pockets as he slowly strolled up behind her, and she couldn’t help but think as her eyes darted up to meet him in the mirror that the sadistic shit-eating grin on his face didn’t suit so well with his god-like features.

She visibly wilted, her shoulders hunched and head down in contrast to the tall, powerful woman she had felt like mere seconds ago. Her breath quickened as he leaned over her shoulder, grazing his teeth over the sensitive part under her ear, and she bit her lip harshly to stop the squeak that threatened to escape her trembling lips.

“If I had known that a pretty dress and some makeup would make you act like a wanton little whore, I would’ve done this wayyy sooner. I guess you really are just another dumb bimbo bitch who does anything she’s told if she gets to feel important for a night.” He whispered in her ear, resting his head on her shoulder and looking up at her with innocent eyes, ones that imitated the mocking tone of voice he used.

It seemed like he wanted her to feel disgusting, to wilt under his cruel words that he used like knives-knives that were sharpened with his tone and body language, knives that were so intimately and carefully chosen. They worded so that they were used to their full extent to cut and carve through her heart.

“Is that what you are my little songbird, hmm? You wanna be a pretty baby and have everyone’s attention on you? I’m hurt, here I was thinking I was enough for you.” He pouted, and with every word he spoke the grip his hands had around her waist tightened.

She tried to protest but he plowed through her pitiful attempts.

“Hell, if you want some attention so bad and whore yourself out, I should call over some friends! Yeah, we can skip tonight’s gala, would you like that songbird? For me to share you with my friends so they can satiate your whorish needs?” And at his he shook her lightly, his grip around her middle choking her and cutting off her circulation. “N-no, Hawks,” she wheezed out. “I just... liked my makeup, that’s it. I only want you, I promise. I won’t cause any trouble tonight, please don’t call any friends over.”

She looked up at him in the mirror with eyes the size of saucers, blinking away tears and trying her best to show how apologetic she was at her audacity to feel good about herself.

He loosened his arms and straightened up, peering down at her disgustedly. He had absolutely no regrets about the way she sucked in air immediately when he relented, or about the way she frantically brushed the tears from her eyes, trying to preserve her mascara from running. (not that he would’ve minded). She needed to learn her lesson; he controlled her highs and lows. Only he had the permission of holding her fragile emotions in the palm of his hand, and if she didn't want that palm turning into a fist and breaking her, she would do well not to piss him off and treading carefully about flaunting what was meant for his eyes only.

She wanted to lock herself in the bathroom and cry out to her heart's content from being embarrassed and degraded like this. She kept absolutely still however, when she felt his hands lightly tracing the feather on her collarbones. It was an unspoken threat, and when their eyes met once again in the mirror, the way he sized her up confirmed it.

The feather stayed on.

Which brought her back to the present.

Y/N had already downed 3 glasses of champagne while reminiscing about earlier today, something Hawks would’ve surely tutted at. Finding herself bored, she meandered around the bar, keeping close to where he left her.

She scanned the room for her ‘lover’ and found him laughing with a group of his friends, his head thrown back and the charming sound of his deep yet lilted voice carrying through the hall, entrapping anyone who was around.

He certainly had presence, no sense in denying it.

Any girl would’ve been crazy to deny him, and Y/N wished that Hawks had fallen for a girl that didn’t want to deny him out of his hundreds of fangirls a point that was set in stone in Y/N’s mind when she saw a tall brunette clinging to his arm while she shrieked with laughter at whatever stupid story Hawks was telling.

Said fangirl seemed to also have been put under his contagious spell, from the way she so obviously threw herself on his arm and pushed her chest against his side under the pretense of shaking with laughter. Various other parts of her body seemed to be shaking against him too, but he didn’t seem to mind based on the smirk he quickly looked down at her with.

For the second time that night, Y/N wanted to throw up.

Was it jealousy? Negative. Rather, it was frustration that he literally had girls throwing themselves at him, tits hanging out and all but yet he wanted what he knew he couldn’t have. She assumed that it was this mentality of his that landed him at being Number 2, chasing after the seemingly impossible until it was tangible.

It was easier on some days to try to understand his point of view. It was much better than getting lost in the hours pondering what kind of bad karma she inherited from a past life to go through this hell. But on some mornings when she felt stone-cold sober, she remembered that she was a person, not some objective or conquest that he had rightfully won. Deciding to try and take her mind off from the trainwreck that was unfolding in front of her, Y/N aimlessly wandered to the side of the bar and down a grand hallway that was less crowded and had less Hawks.

On either side of the hall, giant bronze frames held the portraits of past heroes and had little scriptures of their accomplishments. Hawks had always talked about how he wanted his name up there, and how one day he was going to do something incredible to have his own face up on the hall of fame. His idol, Endeavor, already has taken place on the wall right next to All Might’s frame, and Y/N looks up and ponders at both of their pictures.

And how befitting is it, that Hawk’s idol is also accused of a sinister and tumultuous family past.

Maybe he doesn’t need to work too hard to follow in the footsteps of the number one hero.

“Quite the hero, Endeavor is. Even though there is controversy about the nature of his past and his redemption efforts, he set many precedents as to how a true hero should act.” Y/N’s head snaps to the right where Edgeshot had just joined her. He wore a navy blue tux with red seams, his trademark mask covering the lower half of his face.

“Yeah, you’d think his admirers would try to follow in the footsteps of changing themselves too,” she muttered bitterly. “I’ve noticed his biggest fans seem to take after his more...old brutish traits rather than the better person he’s trying to be now.”

The masked hero laughed softly, and Y/N looked at him suspiciously.

“What, you don’t think heroes have their own fair share of flaws?” She challenged.

“No no, don’t get me wrong of course. I would be on an inappropriate level of naivety to assume that, considering I’m a part of the whole corrupt system itself. I think, however, that change within a person comes after an extended time of self-reflection. You have to look within yourself and accept that you were wrong in the first place, if you want to change.”

Y/N was quiet for a moment.

“Do you think the villains are ever right? About society brushing the flipside of heroism under the carpet, I mean. It doesn’t matter if the heroes are trying to save people because it's expected of them, if they aren’t actually compassionate about their cause then is there really a point?” She asked desperately, hoping he could understand her.

Edgeshot hesitated for a moment before answering.

“In my years of experience,” he said quietly, still looking up at Endeavor’s painting, “the ones who have at heart a solid reason for acting the way they do are most always justified. It may not always be a good reason, but a foundation always gives way to a justification that can be argued for.”

All of a sudden, Y/N gasped as white hot pain sliced through her sternum. She looked down and saw the red feather on her necklace quivering as a fine line of red sprouted from the cut it made.

“Are you alright?” Edgeshot asked, looking fairly alarmed, his hand reaching for her shoulder.

“Yes, of course! My necklace is just a little sharp, a little edge just nicked me that's all.” She said shrilly, already backing away from the concerned hero. Turning on her heel, she picked up the hem of her dress and tottered out of the hall, not paying any mind to the vermillion plumage that drifted down her chest, past her waist and eventually clinging onto her leg, making little nips and stabs here and there.

Blood was pounding through her head as she navigated the way back to where Hawks had left her to be. Her palms were sweaty and she was sure her hair was becoming messy as she whipped her head around, attempting to look past tall heads and bodies that blocked her way to the bar.

Shitshitshitshit god please don’t let him be there already please please please-

But it seemed as though god wasn’t in a merciful mood, because lo and behold, the raptor was leaning against the long granite island with a glass in his hand.

He seemed to be casually grinning, swirling a maroon substance in his cup and choking it down leisurely, but as Y/N drew closer she knew-as expected- he seemed off.

The smell of alcohol was nauseating around him, he must have been drinking something strong. His wings, although lightly flapping behind him, were pointed at the edges and shaking lightly. His eyes were completely dilated, and were shifting around the room until they settled on her meek figure rushing up to him.

“Hey there birdy, long time no see. Did you have a good chat with Edgeshot? I’m sure you both enjoyed talking shit about me behind my back.” Y/N winced at how charismatic and booming his laugh was after his ominous remark. It was too carefree, a complete cover-up of how she knew he was actually feeling, and that scared her the most.

“Hawks I-”

“Keigo, sweetheart, did you forget my name already after talking with just one person? Damn, I’m hurt, guess keeping you locked up at home was the right decision after all if you’re acting like such a stone-cold bitch now.”

She stared up at him, openmouthed and thoroughly panicked now. He was talking too much, he was going to expose himself and her-

Wait. Why is she covering for him? Wouldn’t it be better if he blabbed everything else so people could realize what he’s doing? Maybe someone would intervene and save her!

But it seemed like he was three steps ahead of her and had already figured that out, because his face flushed slightly and his eyes darkened and narrowed, with lips set in a flat line. When Y/N saw this change, she tried to back away but he quickly grabbed her hand and yanked her out the room and through the exit doors. It was all happening so fast, she could hear various people call out to Hawks but he plowed through them so fast that she didn’t have time to even process that they were out of the building and in the air.

She screamed as he soared to an even higher altitude, clinging onto his neck for dear life. The wind whipped past her face, stinging her cheeks with the frigid cold and water particles that embedded on her lashes. Hawks was laughing hysterically the entire time he gained height, his talons ripping through her dress and piercing her skin, even overlapping the previous cuts his feather had made earlier.

“S-stop, what’re you doing, are you fucking crazy?” She shrieked, her words losing volume as the air was ripped out of her lungs.

“KEIGO, its KEIGO you stupid fucking cunt!” he screamed in her face. His arms loosened around her waist, and suddenly Y/N was falling, falling, falling straight for the asphalt.

She couldn’t even turn her head as her limp body plummeted down for imminent death. Her lungs begged for oxygen, fear settling like lead in her stomach, but the second she closed her eyes for what she thought was the last time, (Hawks) Keigo swooped down and yanked her back into his sinister embrace by her hair.

Ignoring the ripping strands she felt in her skull, she flailed around in midair trying to grab onto something-she reached up to grab his foot but he noticed and kicked her square in the face. Y/N had never before felt such terror and pain, mentally or physically.

Damn her pride, she wants to live for god's sake.

“Keigo,” she sobbed, remembering just in time to use his real name lest he smash her teeth in again, “please put me down, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I talked to Edgeshot but I swear it wasn’t anything bad or about you.” The warm blood streaming down her nose began to harden on her upper lip from the chilly altitude they had reached.

Abruptly, he shifted his grip and pulled her up by her hair (she winced at that painful adjustment) so that he could hold her around her waist now.

They had to have been at least 200 or so feet in the air. The pair had cleared their way through some clouds and could clearly see the full moon right in front of them. It was deathly quiet except for Y/N’s labored breathing through her fractured nose, and her fear racked even further as she looked up at Hawks and realized that he was simply staring down at her with completely dilated eyes that narrowed and gleamed at her expression. He truly looked like a bird of prey right now, a predator that was forcing her to play the part of his prey, a point that solidified when he suddenly wrapped one hand around her throat to feel her heartbeat that thumped like a rabbits’.

The light from the moon reflected off his back, causing his front to be completely shadowed so that the contours of his sharp face seemed ever more looming and dangerous. Both of them stayed suspended in the air for a minute or two like that, Y/N not daring to speak unless he granted her a sign to repent.

After a long, painstakingly suspenseful minute of studying her face, he finally growled “We’re going home.”

It seemed to take only a mere couple of minutes for the Number Two hero to travel halfway across the city. Y/N barely had time to try and drink in the beautiful colors that accented the winding streets and buildings below her, knowing that it would most probably be a long time before she saw anything else that resembled freedom again.

He finally began to descend rapidly, forcing her to cling onto his jacket and shove her face into the crook of his neck to avoid getting whiplash. Peeking through her lashes, she recognized the balcony floor of his penthouse rushing underneath their feet. Dread and anxiety surged through her veins as he finally landed and postiviley threw her off of him and onto the wooden floor. She slid a good couple of feet and skinned her legs in the process, unable to stop her momentum as she slammed back into a lamp.

Dazed, she saw stars as she rubbed her aching head. Unfortunately she didn’t see him, rushing over to her the second she landed.

He grabbed her jaw tight and wrenched her bleary eyes to look up at him.

What he saw was beautiful.

A trembling mess beneath him, makeup runny and complemented with blood that flowed from her nose like an eternal stream. He couldn’t keep his eyes off the way she kept flinching any time he shifted; it made his pants tighten and caused his teeth to grit in what he measured to be the absolute last bits of self restraint he had for the night. He had truly ruined her, and he internally patted himself on the back at his work.

Was he mad? Yes, wholly and completely at her betrayal of his orders.

Did he regret losing his temper? Absolutely not. In fact, if you ask him, he should get mad at her more often like this. If it merited her pliant and vulnerable being, then who was he to deny such pleasure? Fuck he should’ve done this from the start- blowing up at mild disobediance instead of acting like a doting, patient boyfriend.

“You alive?” he roughly shook her head and her teeth chattered inside her skull while he did so.

“Yes,” she whispered, mouth popped open by his gloved fingers as he shoved a digit inside her warm and wet cavern. It was embarrassing how drool seeped through her lips and dribbled down her chin, but humility was the least concerning factor in her environment at the moment.

“Good. After acting like such a tramp you better fucking be. I told you one thing,” and he slapped her for added emphasis to his frustration, “can you repeat what I told you? Or are you so braindead that you can’t remember the one order I gave you when I trusted you to sit still and look pretty like a good little bitch?”

“Nnngh, no I rem-I remember.” Y/N panted out, attempting to talk through puckered lips and drool. “You told me to stay at the bar and not to move.”

“Exactly. So what part of that was so hard to understand, huh?” He hissed through his teeth, looking deranged.

“I just got bored, that’s all. I wanted to talk to another person…” Even though she didn’t finish her sentence, Hawks understood her perfectly.

I wanted to talk to another person apart from you.

He let out a mocking laugh, stretching his arms over his head to hide his shaking fists. Rage swept through his body like wildfire, licking up his throat and cheeks. His face was flushed and unreadable to Y/N as he sauntered around the couch and plopped down on it, spreading his legs to seem as uncouth as possible.

She sat shivering on the floor, unsure of if he wanted her to follow him or wither away on the floor like a mutt.

As he sighed loudly however, her body immediately tensed as though bracing for another painful impact. She daringly peeked over her shoulder and saw the back of his head protruding from the black and red leather couch. Lazily flicking his wrist up to a height where she could see, he vaguely beckoned her over without saying a word.

Immediately she scampered over to him and situated herself at his feet (where she belonged). Her eyes were downcast, and he begrudgingly accepted it as a form of submission on her part. No sense in beating the disobedience out of her now if she already knows what she did wrong.

Hawks heaved out another heavy sigh and let his head fall backwards. On one hand, he was slightly drunk and his head was killing him-he just wanted to go to sleep and forget today ever happened. However, there was a problem that was contributing to his growing migraine, and that problem was sitting right in front of him, practically kneeling at his feet for mercy. More than sleep, he wanted to take care of said issue and call it a night, so he decided to skip the sweet talk and warm up.

“Here’s what’s gonna happen, kid. I’m gonna close my eyes and by the time I open them you better have already thought of a way to make tonight up to me, and you better have already put that plan in action. Then, we’re going to bed and when you wake up you’ll regret the day you even thought of talking to anyone apart from me, since you seem to have forgotten who’s been coddling your ass all this time.” He sneered, relishing at the way Y/N’s face went pale.

True to his word, he closed his eyes, glad to see his last view as the pathetic bitch who was about to service him. The feel of slight fumbling on his zipper made him feel even more drunk and giddy as it was pulled down. Maybe the entire evening wasn’t a complete wash after all.

Yeah, he should take her out a lot more.