#also i'm. hesitant to call it anything bc again it's not really that severe

[wereh0gz]

Is my discomfort with my boobs gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, or just a general discomfort with the sensations of having a human body that comes with possible neurodivergency

[bellysoupset]

heeeyyyy back at it again with me requesting my girl lollll <3 (only bc you asked for requests!!! (i’ve been dying to request sth but didn’t wanna be annoying))

soo i’ve been craving some wen/jon for a bit bc ofc i have💀 SO I WAS THINKING!! (this is so specific and long im so sorry) what if wen starts to get sick at work and jon gets worried and annoys her into leaving work early. and so he takes her home but then on his way home he starts feeling bleh too and kinda just falls asleep when he gets back. BUT THEN wen gets worse and in the middle of the night calls jon bc she’s like super sick and out of it and feverish and alone, but bc jon is also pretty sick, it just ends up being leo taking care of both of them <333 the more angsty the better ofc but also no worries if it’s not ♥️

no pressure at all to write this bc i know it’s pretty detailed and idk if you’d like this prompt? but i just thought i’d ask heheheheh <3333

(on a completely different short note,, vin+wen are so adorable with max aahhhh i was blushing throughout that whole cabin trip fic🤭🥹)

as always, KEEP SLAYING!!!!

- 🦦

Otter!! You're back! How are you, honey?

Loved the request 💕TW: there's some fatphobia talk towards the middle, Wendy about herself (triggered by the fever).

----

As lunch arrived, Wendy knew something wasn't right.

Many things weren't right, to be more specific. Bell and Luke were occupying the back of her thoughts, as she carried the secret, and then there was the fact Vince and Luke didn't seem to be talking, again, and well... Wendy felt silly for being so drained over problems that weren't truly hers, but she was.

Jonah, on the other hand, seemed to be on cloud nine lately. Oblivious to the outside world, he couldn't smile more if he tried and Wendy had overheard the nurses giggling about the doctor being in such a good mood.

Through some stroke of a miracle her schedule was coinciding with Jon's this week and they sat together in the cafeteria, Jonah having lunch before he left and her halfway through her shift. He pulled his chair to be side by side with hers and scrolled through his phone as he showed her several pictures of the venues he was considering.

She couldn't look at her plate, revulsion swimming in her belly, and Wendy pushed the dish away, grabbing her juice bottle and leaning back against her seat.

"That's a gorgeous place," she said, as Jonah scrolled past a picture of a whimsical fairytale venue. He scrolled back up and raised his eyebrows as if agreeing.

"Pretty, but not really our speed," he zoomed in the picture, "we're not the fairytale type."

"Uhm..." Wendy pinched her nose bridge and moved closer on her seat, so she could press her cheek to Jonah's shoulder. He raised a surprised eyebrow at the touch, but didn't say anything, "I guess. You're looking at more of a sleek vibe?"

"Yes, classical, but modern..." Jonah saved the item anyway and when Wen made a puzzled expression, he opened a sneaky smile, "for when it's your turn."

She rolled her eyes, without any energy even to blush at the implication, "not any time soon," Wendy planted her elbow on the table and gulped down as the smell of food assaulted her. She pulled back, breathing slowly out of her mouth and when she opened her eyes again, Jonah had pocketed his phone and was staring at her openly.

"You're sick," he accused, squinting, and Wendy shook her head.

"No, I'm not," convincing enough, Wendy mentally patted herself on the back, "just a long week-" it had been, Jonah couldn't deny that...

He rolled his eyes, "uh-hu," Jon scoffed, reaching without hesitation and planting his hand to her forehead. Wendy jumped back, spooked, but it had been enough for him, "and did your long week give you a fever, Dee?"

Wendy's cheeks flushed, but she also couldn't help the squeeze in her heart at the nickname. Whenever Jonah called her that, she melted. She let out a sigh, "I have three more hours to go, I can power through-"

"Darling, no," Jonah scoffed, getting up and gesturing for her to do the same, "you don't just have a fever, you're clearly queasy too and you don't wanna be stranded in the doctor's headquarters when that hits in full force... C'mon, I'll drive you home."

Wendy hesitated, chewing on her lip, but Jon only rolled his eyes and grabbed her arm, ushering her up, "no point arguing, Wen," he scolded her, pushing her forward.

The change of positions caused her head to swim and Wendy stumbled, pressing herself against his arm and taking a shallow breath, "Oh crap... Yeah, get me out of here," she pinched her nose bridge and squeezed her eyes until the world came back into focus.

Jonah followed her like a shadow as she clocked out early and requested a replacement. His own shift was already over and he seemed unbothered by the bureaucratic process that was a doctor leaving early, scrolling through his phone and occasionally looking up as Wendy stumbled over her own feet.

Finally they were in his car and Wendy pressed her forehead to the cold window, letting out a soft burp under her breath as Jon circled the vehicle. There was a ding-ding-ding over her head as the driver's door opened and closed, then Jon's hand was on her back, "Dee?"

Wendy swallowed the saliva pooling in her mouth and leaned back on the seat, "I'm okay..." she turned her head to look at him, everything felt horrible and sluggish, "are... Are you okay?" now she frowned, even through the fever haze able to pinpoint something was off with her best friend.

Usually, Jonah's skin was a russet, reddish-brown, but when he got pale all the warmth seemed to be depleted, an ashy tone taking its place. Besides that, his lips seemed to melt into his skin, despite normally being a dark shade of earthy-pink.

"I'm fine," he started the car and Wendy squinted at him, the motion doing nothing to ease her nausea. She muffled another little burp on her hand, blushing and mumbling a weak "excuse me..."

Jonah waved her off and Wendy squirmed on her seat, "you're not feeling well either, are you?"

"I'm fine," he repeated, stealing a glance at her, "you're gonna make yourself sicker in this position, seat correctly and put on your seatbelt."

"Yes, dad," Wendy rolled her eyes, but obeyed and closed her eyes, leaning back her head. Her stomach was churning uncomfortably, the small amount she had been able to eat at lunch sloshing around and causing a burn on the back of her throat. She planted a hand on her belly, rubbing it lightly, and blushed even more at the thought of how gross she probably looked...

The car came to a slow stop and she felt the back of Jonah's hand pressed to her cheek, "you're really warm, Wendy," he said, his voice sounding frustrated, "were you feeling sick since morning?"

"Were you?" She grumbled, then cupped a hand over her lips as the little line caused more acid to trickle her throat and a weak gag. The car started moving again.

"I'm not sick," Jonah scoffed, in denial. Wendy let out a huff, if she had puked already he could pass it off as sympathy sickness but as it stood... She opened her eyes, looking at him. There was a glint of perspiration all over his face and Jonah had a grimace on, not counting on her studying him.

The idiot.

Turning her head had been a bad idea, because it caused a wave of carsickness to hit her and Wendy felt sticky all over. She closed her eyes again, breathing out slowly and gulped down... The act of swallowing caused another gag and she vaguely heard Jonah cursing-

The car came to a second stop and Wendy opened her eyes just as Jon leaned over her, pushing her door open. Wendy leaned out and the seatbelt squeezed her in the middle like a rope, around her neck and tickling her gag reflex.

She let out a sob as her lunch made a nasty reappearance in one chunky splash on the asphalt. Wendy coughed, trying to clear her throat and reached blindly to get rid of the seatbelt, only for a pair of hands to aid her.

Her belly clenched again and Wendy had barely any time to push her hair out of the way before another stream came up, more liquid this time around and burning her throat.

She sniffled, pitifully, ears unblocking as the retching tapered off, and she was left gasping for air and trying to spit out the horrible taste.

"Here," Jonah's voice was very soft as he pushed a bottle of lukewarm water in her hands, "swish it around," he instructed and Wendy obeyed, spitting out the stale water and coughing once more before sitting back.

Jon pushed her hair behind her ears and Wendy sniffled, angrily trying to get rid of the tears clinging to her lashes. She hated throwing up, not only the horrible sensation, but how vulnerable and disgusting it made her feel. Clearly Jon could read it all on her face, because despite the fact his own pallor had moved straight into corpse-grey territory, he cupped her cheeks and offered her a strained smile, "you're okay," he stroked her cheek with his thumbs, "take a breath, darling."

It was so soft and Wendy was feeling so incredibly wretched, that all the gentleness had the opposite of the desired effect, causing another sob to bubble up and tears to well in her eyes, "I don't feel well..."

"I know, I know," Jonah frowned at her, all but mounting the handbrake as he pulled her into a hug, "I know, Dee. Shhh-"

She clung to his sweater, curling up on the passenger seat and trying to burrow her face in the crook of Jonah's arm, crying in the awkward hug that was more of a headlock. Jon made a wounded noise, but didn't pull back, planting a kiss on the top of her head.

It took her a handful of minutes before the tears stopped and Wendy pulled back from the embrace, wiping at her face. Her head was throbbing now from crying and her eyes hurt, like she had accidentally spilled shampoo in them and done a poor job of washing it off. Jon was watching her closely, "Wen?"

"I'm sorry-" Her voice sounded like she had just gargled with glass, "sorry... Can we go?"

He nodded, before pausing and lowering his forehead to the steering wheel, raising his index as if asking her to stand-by. Wendy raised her eyebrows, planting a hand on his back, "Jon..." She cooed, "sweetheart, you're not well..."

Which was bad, considering he was the one driving.

Jonah didn't bother denying this time around, instead he just squeezed his eyes shut, taking a measured breath, "just a little dizzy..."

"Is it a vertigo episode?" Wendy asked, continuing to rub her hand up and down his back.

He frowned, not opening his eyes, "no... Just give me a minute, Dee."

Understanding he wanted silence, Wendy clammed her mouth shut and focused on getting a hold of herself. Throwing up hadn't made even a dent on her nausea and she still felt like her stomach was filled with liquid, but at least her mouth wasn't watering like crazy anymore. She was freezing, which made sense considering the car door was open and it was January...

Wendy slammed it shut, shuddering, and Jonah startled, sitting back up. As he moved, he let out a large burp, hand moving up to muffle it, but being a second too late. He wrinkled his nose, cheeks turning dark with a blush, "sorry..." his voice was all distorted, deep in his chest and Wendy shrugged.

"It's fine," she rubbed his arm, "you feel better?"

It was clear that he didn't, but Jonah grit his teeth and nodded, "yeah. Let's get you home."

--------------------

Jonah wasn't sure what had hit him. In one minute he had been waiting for Wendy to clock out of work, texting Leo that he'd be taking her home so probably not have the full afternoon free like he had planned, and in the other there was cold sipping down to his fucking bones.

The speed at which his condition had deteriorated had been alarming, but not as much as seeing his best friend bawl her eyes out. Wendy was a crier when it came to movies, but not when it was her life. It made his stomach squeeze into a horrible knot as she clutched his arm and sobbed like a little kid.

Her cheeks were a blazing red and her green eyes were droopy with fever by the time he parked in her garage, taking her spot. Wendy swayed dangerously on her feet as she got out and Jonah circled the car, wrapping his arm around her back, "we're almost there," he promised, squeezing her and fighting the urge to rattle her like a toy. It was awful to see her this down for the count.

Wendy leaned into him, pressing her forehead to his chest and gulping down loudly as they entered the elevator, "my stomach... I'm going to be sick, Jon..." she groaned and Jonah's own stomach churned at the warning. He couldn't even fathom the possibility of dealing with vomit when his lunch was sitting like a brick inside.

"We're almost in your apartment," he soothed her, pressing the 6th button twice more, just out of anxiety. Wendy let out a little burp, sickly wet, and gulped down, not saying a thing. She didn't even excuse herself, which was wildly out of character.

Jonah counted the seconds, looking up and gulping the sticky sensation in his mouth. It felt like his tongue was too big for it and he felt the urge to open his jaw and breath through his mouth like those dogs, but he knew this was only going to make him gag. His body luring him into a trap.

Wendy let out a groan, wrapping an arm around her stomach and sniffling, "Jon..."

"Almost there," he repeated, leg bouncing nervously, "try to hold it..." he bossed, before adding a weak, "I'm sorry."

Wendy gulped down again, pressing a hand to her mouth and shuddering violently, whole spine curling as she retched, but it was non-productive.

The elevator came to a stop and immediately Jonah was jumping ahead, grabbing the emergency keys that he had and unlocking the door as Wendy sprinted under his arm.

She rushed into the powder room and he heard the distinctive noise of her heaving, but Jonah couldn't bring his own feet to move. He pressed his forehead to the front door, shutting it with his weight and breathed slowly through his mouth. His stomach let out a nasty gurgle and Jon wrapped an arm around it, waiting until the cramp eased up.

Down the hall he heard a crash and Jonah sprung into action, the gnawing sensation in his stomach be damned. Wendy had collapsed down in front of the toilet, but she had tried to get up and put too much of her weight on the towel holder, causing the whole thing to collapse.

She was curled up on the ground, with the towel crumped next to her, a cut on her knee and through her lilac pants and the metal structure hanging by one handle on the wall.

"Wendy," Jonah couldn't help but let out a surprised chuckle at the image, although his smile faded as she heard her sniffle.

"I'm horrible," it was the fever speaking, he knew, but it didn't stop Jonah from feeling a pang in his chest as she sat there with a bruised knee and trying really hard not to start crying again, "I'm a whale, I broke the stupid thing-"

"Oh Wendy, shush it," Jonah scoffed, crouching down and avoiding looking at the toilet, closing the lid and gulping down, "that thing was a piece of crap, stop with this nonsense," he scolded her sharply, rolling up her pants and cringing at the purple bruise already forming.

Wendy let out a whimper, curling up against her bathtub and angrily wiping the tears on the corner of her eyes, "I wanna go to bed..." She wrapped her arms around her stomach, groaning softly as she rocked back and forth, "Jon..."

"Are you gonna be sick again?" He asked, moving closer to her and reaching to uncurl her from the position. Wendy hesitated, whole face wrinkling up with a grimace.

"I'm not sure..." She gulped down, "my stomach feels awful..."

"Okay," Jonah knew, deep down, that moving her was a bad idea, but he couldn't deny her anything when she looked this pitiful, "okay, c'mere-" he wrapped an arm behind her back, helping her up and the minute he did, Wendy lunged for the toilet once more, throwing the lid open hastily as she barely had any time before bringing up another wave of vomit.

It splattered all over the seat and Jonah was forced to let go of her as his lunch immediately rushed up, causing him to throw himself onto the sink. He covered his ears with his hands, squeezing his eyes shut as the foamy vomit fell into the bowl and his stomach convulsed several times.

Behind him, even with his ears covered, he heard the loud noise of flushing and Wendy coughing several times. Jonah let out a sick burp, panting and spitting the ropes of saliva still pooling in his mouth, "I'm-I'msssorry..." he slurred, feeling like the worst friend ever. He had taken Wendy home and now there he was being an even bigger burden.

Wendy answered him with a groan, pushing the lid closed once again and stumbling up, using his belt as support. She clumsily planted a hand on his back, patting completely out of rhythm, "are you good...?"

Jonah nodded, burping under his breath twice more and taking a drink from the tap, washing the bowl with his eyes closed before daring to open them, "yeah..." he met her eyes on the mirror, green and drowsy, "I'm good... Let's get you into bed."

Together they stumbled down the hall almost like drunks and Wendy immediately collapsed on the bed, kicking off her shoes and burying her face on the pillow. Jonah stood, awkwardly, next to her bed. In some recess of his mind he knew there were things he should be doing. Water, thermometer. Bucket.

However, his body felt so heavy and he was struggling to think through the fever — Wendy's fingers wrapped around his wrist and she tugged, hard, on his arm, pulling him down. There wasn't a bone in his body to fight it and Jonah immediately collapsed down, barely avoiding crushing her with his body.

Her pillow was cool and soft and he let out a groan, rolling on the bed and breathing out. His head was pounding and his stomach was churning once more, nausea starting to prickle him all over. Wendy pushed her back against his arm and Jonah forced his eyes open, staring at the side of her face. The redness coloring her cheeks was down her neck and exposed chest, like angry marks.

"Wendy...?"

"Uhm?" Wendy's eyes were closed and she was taking deep breaths, facing up the ceiling. Jonah scooted closer, feeling like he was freezing and seeking out her warmth.

"Are you leaving...?" He rasped out, staring intently at her. Wendy frowned, opening her eyes.

"Are you kicking me out my own bed...?"

"What?" Jonah blinked at her, flabbergasted, struggling to understand, "no, I- No! Are you leaving to Doveport?" he asked, then raised a hand to interrupt her answer, turning his face and muffling a sick burp against the pillow. Acid tickled his throat and he gagged, but it was unproductive.

Jonah moved his face away from the pillow, wiping the drool from his lips and Wendy was staring at him, unimpressed, her lids heavy with exhaustion, "I think I should call Leo," she whispered, her voice weak and Jon frowned at her.

"Why? Does Leo know...?"

"You're delirious," she groaned, pushing herself up, "you're not making any- Any sense..." Wendy shivered violently, eyes scanning the room for her phone, although her purse had been dropped by the front door.

Jonah grabbed her hand, stopping her from getting up from the bed, "so no? You're not leaving?" he pulled her down once again and Wendy frowned, pressing her hand to his cheek, trying to check his fever, although it was nearly impossible considering how warm she was.

"No, I'm not leaving-" she cupped his forehead, "you don't feel that warm..."

Jonah grumbled something, closing his eyes and reaching blindly, wrapping his hand on her shoulder and tugging her down on the bed, so he could hide his face against her neck, "you need to rest-" he rasped out and Wendy squirmed under him, but not trying to pull away. Instead, she wrapped herself around him and Jonah grimaced as he felt her arm wrap around his middle, his stomach sloshing at the movement.

Wendy let out a deep sigh, muffling a cough against his chest and he decided he could deal with everything in a moment, he just needed to rest his eyes for a minute.

TBC

[noro-noro-noro]

there are a few shades of makeup that i still would like to get at some point to round out my collection. i am making a post about this to release these desires into the wild so i no longer have them & feel zen. i only have to buy a birthday present or 2 for my sister.

back when i was still getting into makeup, i ended up with a lot of similar colors bc i'd just buy things i thought looked nice & then later comparing them would be like "oh boy another dark burgundy, or dark red, or a dark rose color. who would've ever guessed."

like they're fine colors. i like them for a reason. i do not need any more of these and in fact need to get rid of some. do you live in my area? i have several barely used lip products in these shades that i'd love to give away & can also donate 60% used up nail polishes that are still fine that i just do not use anymore.

i want one nude-ish lipstick but like a slightly purple or grayish one. are those called corpse nudes? the problem is that i'm not sure what any of these will look like unfiltered & swatched on someone who isn't EXTREMELY pale. i follow someone that's super pale that's always singing t he praises of these two specific ones, but i don't think they'll look remotely as good on me.

dramo01 might get me that slightly saturated (in comparison) but still nude-ish color, but it's hard to tell with them. i haven't bought from them before, so i'm not familiar with their formula. i was also interested in diana by unearthly cosmetics but that seems to be out of stock & not for sale on their site right now.

2. i want a sheer black lip balm. i bought one from abomination cosmetics but it's patchy & smells weird. i've tried smoking out a very small layer of two black lipsticks i have (one liquid matte & one more like a mud texture) with varying degrees of success, but it'd be a lot easier if i didn't have to get my hands dirty to blend them. also the mud one has 0 staying power & will end up all over my face if i'm not careful.

also there's a lot of sheer black glosses on the market & that's great but i heard romand is gonna eventually put out a black version of one of their juicy lip tints & i like that formula a lot so that'll be my gloss whenever that drops.

3. i've been trying to find a bubblegum pink lip product like just to have, but they always end up being way too "my lip but better" shade. i have a few too many of these.

4. we're onto eye products now. this should be obvious

5. dramo red shimmer eyeshadow. should also be obvious...though maybe i want a matte instead...? i do need a few more matte base colors....i have a lot of grayish purples & browns from the one expensive palette i bought last year (love it btw) & one rusty redish matte but might be nice to diversify...or i can just use my eyelinerp encils & scribble on that thing. doesn't really matter. i don't have that much eyelid space.

6. i've been hunting for a semi-sheer like yellow-green shimmer eyeshadow, or any like olive green shaded mini palette. i'm hesitant to buy something with more than 4 colors bc i hate the idea of anything going to waste if i don't like it. this palette by shedella is the closest i've foudn to something i like - here it is again in someone's photo, but no swatch photos at all. and i wouldn't use the white or the lime green. tch

i also saw a green quad i thought was alright at ulta a couple months ago, i think from juvia's place, but when i looked it up online it doesn't seem to be on sale anywhere either so fuck me ig. shoulda picked it up then.

& i have the cheeryep floating life palette (the gray and cool toned one mentioned above & swatched below) and i love it & they also have like a greenish one, but i do not need that many neutral shades. it's expensive. i'm only really interested in these 3 anyway.

but i KNOW i like the brand's quality. it's the best eyeshadow i've ever used. it could be a decent investment.... like might as well have some neutral mattes....especially from a brand i'm already familiar with & know for sure i love. it can't hurt!

except it CAN hurt because it costs $30 not including shipping. and then the little devil goes "well just order dramo01 & the red shimmer eyeshadow too & then put one more thing in so you reach free shipping at $50!" and then now i'm spending 50 dollars. enough!!!!! i will only make ONE makeup purchase per month & i've already done mine for this month!!! i'm also running out of counter space in bathroom for all the makeup i've accumulated over the past 5 years. i need to declutter & then focus on finding another storage solution.

7. i've been interested in pale blue/gray nail polishes with a red/pink shimmer, though this extends to blue with yellow too. i've bookmarked a lot of extremely similar nail polishes. i wish they had photos taken in non direct lighting. i want to see what the base color looks like with nothing else going on.

1: shleeepolish bride of fire, cloud my vision by emilydemolly, & praise the dog by bees knees 2: chalk on a sidewalk by death valley nails, cirque colors velvetine, ls#3 from clionadh but that's a set of 3 & i don't want the other 2.

8. had my eye on this one from mooncat for a while ever since i first thought about getting a magnet for magnetic nail polish, but ended up just buying from the same brand that sold the magnet (ILNP) to save on shipping.

9. ilnp warm amber.

genuinely this is one that's convinced me from the product photos & other people's swatches alone. i don't have a warm color like this & this is gorgeous & looks just like honey.

honorable nail polish desire mentions: a matte red (i had a LIDL brand that was good in one coat for a while but it went bad really quickly), some kind of vibrant & fun summer color since i mostly tend towards darker shades, & a chocolatey/coppery color for fall.

i'm always hesitant to buy new nail polishes though. a lot of the time i steal one from the store when i'm interested in a color & then i just have it there mocking me forever not getting used. there are only a few that i have that i use regularly because i really like them & those are ILNP eclipse, ILNP grand entrance, lights lacquer virgo, essie high voltage vinyl (THANK YOU TO THE MY FOLLOWER THAT SUGGESTED IT TO ME I KNOW AT THE TIME I WAS DOUBTFUL BC THE SWATCHES DIDN'T QUITE LOOK LIKE WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR BUT I LOVE IT) & sally hansen hypnautical.

other than these shades, i also have the 2 magnetics i just bought (i like these) & i also have a bunch of drugstore brands that somehow keep showing up. i want to get rid of those.

if i go to my bathroom right now & count the number of things i don't want anymore, it's 17 things. 5 eye products (i learned i don't like the liquid eyeshadows or dip liners), 6 nail polishes (some are probably too old & need trashed but some just don't get used), & a mess of various lip products, half of which have barely been used. i want these things out of here. it'd be nice if they weren't wasted.

i don't really regret buying all these things though. i HAVE been accumulating things over 5 years. it's not like i do crazy hauls all the time - i think i've had like 4 makeup purchases total over $50 EVER. i like most of the things i get & i use them up.

i've learned a lot about my preferences too! lip stains/glazes are my favorite lip product to use because they're lightweight & fairly long lasting. lip muds feel nice on the lips but don't have the best longevity. i don't really like lipsticks like from the tube. or any liquid formula of anything really - i find it too hard to control, whether it's highlighter, eyeshadow, dip liner with brush tip, product where you twist up the liquid formula - absolutely not. i don't like anything "plumping" because my lips are big & beautiful enough already.

anyway yeah that's the main makeup things i've been thinking about purchasingggg yayyy..i also still want to preorder the OFF hat & poster ($70 with shipping) but it's soo EXPENSIVE ... and speaking of expensive i also want this ring but it's $85 & only goes down to $60 when it's on sale. also dont know how big my finger. but this is like way on the backburner ✌ it dont matter

[rosysugarr]

Hi guys! Once again continuing my habit of only posting at 3 AM when I'm laying awake and feeling anxious about nothing. I've been considering making a return, but tbh, I haven't because like. Mostly, I've realized that the way modern online fandom tends to act about things lately has put me in a super fucking unhealthy mindset? Like. I am still working to untangle my brain from my year of twitter, but tumblr honestly hasn't helped with it that much lately. The fact that I hesitate to talk about anything new I enjoy because "what if it's secretly been mass canceled and no one is supposed to like it and I just don't know yet and everyone thinks I'm a bad person" is kind of really fucking bad! I should be able to like things! And talk about them! So anyway I'm mostly just trying to work on that now, like. Fixing my brain. Which is also why when I AM on here, I'm usually on my sideblog for jojo, bc. Yknow. On a dedicated fandom sideblog people are less likely to be shocked and come at you for liking a thing.

Anyway I saw the clip of Tommy revealing that he's bicurious and honestly that is THE funniest fucking possible punchline to his behavior the past several years. Good for him. God bless.

Oh hey while I'm here, who is everybody? Idk if I'm gonna resume checking my dash regularly or anything, BUT. I assume a lot of screennames have changed since the last time I was here. So, role call, who are yall? Just so I don't struggle to figure out who anyone is.

[happy-tori-friends]

For fanfic prompts, maybe a sort of 5+1 things thingie about five times Fliqpy was fronting instead of Flippy and didn't say anything about it, and one time where Splendid mentions the subtle ways that he knows Fliqpy is fronting?

sure thing! i thought about doing this in the magical warrior au bc theres no Wacky Glamour Shenanigans (best way to describe it) that give it away, but its probably a bit easier to just say it is in the same setting as oblivion, but in this particular case the teeth and eye changes aren't applicable. very very sorry for the delay i have Severe Awful Procrastination Disease.

War-related PTSD and fireworks mixed horribly. Explosions brought back memories of the war - and they were usually not good ones. While Flippy took care to prepare himself on days where fireworks were to be expected, sometimes there were assholes that thought that it was cool to shoot fireworks willy-nilly and whenever the fuck they wanted. They both could agree they were cool looking, but the sounds usually triggered them to switch and Flippy to retreat. Plus, Fliqpy himself wasn't fond of the noise either.

Slow blinking, gaining his barings, he looked around the room, grabbing onto something nearby to anchor himself to reality. One breath in, one breath out.

Right, Splendid's house. He was at Splendid's house, sitting on the couch. He looked to his left, and Splendid was sitting there. Beyond him was Splendont, who held the remote and gave him a concerned look.

“You okay?” the redhead asked, and Fliqpy gave a quick nod in response.

“I'm fine,” he muttered, folding his arms and looking away. Splendont was okay enough, but he wasn't here for him. He was here for his brother. A goody-two-shoes hero that Flippy had fallen in love with, and the sentiment was also held by him.

“Do you think whoever shot those had a license?” Splendid turned to his brother, a questioning look in his eye. “Should I go try and find them and make sure they do? I don't want Fliq to get startled again.”

…Hm. While Fliqpy was grateful for the concern, he was also a bit curious. He hadn't said anything about switching. Was it that obvious when they did so? Had Splendid not been watching the movie, or did he simply infer based off of the fact fireworks are commonly associated with triggering PTSD?

Fliqpy was no scientist, and he cared little for the art of it at all. But he was curious… could he actually pass off as Flippy if he didn't say anything? He'd have to do some testing… and hope that both Flippy and Splendid didn't get too irritated when things came out.

–––––

Science usually involved variables, and Fliqpy figured that his variable would be how much he tried to act like Flippy. It was basically the same thing as acting or playing pretend- things he hadn't really done but were probably easy nonetheless. The only other factor was Splendid not being around when he switched, which was easier said than done.

Well, it would have been if Flippy wasn't the tiniest bit intrigued by the idea.

‘It's at least something for you to do, and I will admit that I'm interested in what it takes for him to not notice,’ he'd responded when he was told. ‘It might be good for you.’

There were consensual switches on occasion, mostly when Flippy was having a bad day or when Fliqpy wanted to spend time with Splendid, but this was for a different purpose - science. Maybe. Honestly, he didn't care if it was actually science or not.

“Let's start with a phone call,” Fliqpy smirked, navigating through the phone to contacts and then clicking to call Splendid. Certainly, he could get away with it since Splendid hadn't seen him switch and only had his voice to go off of.

“Hello?”

“Heeey, uh…” Crap, was he at work? In public? Which name was he supposed to use? Flippy usually used Shiver just to be safe, and then Splendid would either continue with that or tell him his real name was okay. So why was he hesitating?! Actually, was Flippy's method alright? What if he was doing hero work and someone overheard his alter ego's name? Would he even answer the phone if he was doing that? Ah, fuck it! “...Shiver.”

There was a chuckle from the other line after the agonizingly long pause between greeting him and saying his name. “Hello to you too, Fliqpy. I'm at home right now, so Splendid is fine.”

Damn, he'd hesitated and that had cost him. He suppressed the growl of frustration from coming out of his throat, though Flippy's giggling from inside his head made him want to let it out even more. ‘If you wanna switch and pretend to be me, I'll let you talk to him.’

’Hey, it's your experiment, not mine. I'm just observing,’ Flippy replied, humor still evident in his tone.

…Well, he was right, but…

“Is everything okay?” Splendid asked, worry evident in his voice. “Did something happen?”

Shit, someone needed to say something. “Uh. No. Just called to say hi. Because I, uh, like talking to my boyfriend and I get bored sometimes.” God, he needed to get better at making excuses quickly when it came to Splendid. Did love really make him that nervous? Fliqpy, usually so good at improvising and coming up with plans on the fly, rendered unable to do so because Splendid made his heart flutter and skip a few beats.

“Oh,” Splendid let out a breath, a slight hint of nervous laughter in his voice. “Really? That's… I miss you too sometimes.”

Well, even if he didn't get the expected result, he did get a pretty good one instead.

–––––

The next time he met with Splendid, the switch hadn't been consensual, and Flippy had retreated into the headspace. Splendid was expecting to visit and see Flippy today, so it was definitely a good time to test his acting skills.

He knocked on the door, waiting for the cyan haired man to answer. His hands rested on his hips, and he tapped his foot impatiently. Would Flippy act like this? Probably not, but it was all part of his experiment.

Of course, all of his hopes were dashed the instant Splendid opened the door.

“Fliqpy?” he asked, tilting his head. “...Have people been shooting fireworks near your house like what happened the other night? Or was this a nightmare? Wait, this must've been a nightmare - who would shoot fireworks when it's still light outside?”

Fliqpy suppressed the urge to show a frustrated scowl on his face as the other rambled on. He was glad to spend time with Splendid but his experiment hadn't gone well again. Was he really that obvious?

“...Ah. Sorry. I went off on a tangent there, didn't I?” Splendid let out a nervous chuckle as he moved to let him inside. “I suppose it doesn't matter why you switched, so come inside. Let's spend some time together.”

“Right,” Fliqpy muttered softly, following after his boyfriend. Next time, he'd have to try really hard.

–––––

“Maybe try a phone call again? Or try and surprise him?” Fliqpy muttered to himself, arms folded across his chest. “Either way, I need to practice my Flippy impression…”

Flippy was patient, calmer, friendlier… He just had to be those three things in order to fool him, right? Maybe he just… wasn't a good actor?

“Haha,” Flippy laughed slightly, “I'm surprised you haven't given up yet. You're prone to rage quitting when you get frustrated.”

“Shut up,” Fliqpy snarled. “Don't patronize me, I'll make Splendid hate you.”

Flippy let out another laugh. “How do you plan to do that? He's always picked up on it being you right away.” Damn! Was he this irritating when he spoke while Flippy was fronting?

The doorbell rang, and he scoffed. Great. It was probably Lumpy coming to ask for something like sugar. Now he probably had to explain himself - or maybe he could pretend… If he fooled Lumpy, that'd make him feel better about all this.

Fliqpy lightly smacked his cheeks and smiled, hoping it didn't seem too forced, before he made a beeline for the door. The doorbell rang again and he held back his annoyance. “I'm coming!” he said, making extra sure he used the same tone that Flippy usually used.

When he opened it, he was surprised not to find Lumpy, but instead Splendid. He stiffened in surprise, especially so when Splendid wrapped his arms around him.

“Hi, Fliqpy. I was in the area, so I thought I'd stop by.”

‘Hi, Fliqpy.’ ‘Hi, Fliqpy.’ ‘Fliqpy.’ 

What. The. Fuck.

“Heeeey,” Fliqpy managed to get out, only half returning the hug. He was happy to see him, but he noticed immediately. Again!

‘This is hilarious,’ Flippy teased, and the only reason Fliqpy didn't punch him is because they shared the same body and he didn't really want to hit himself.

‘Straighten up, soldier,’ he told himself, not wanting to be a shitty boyfriend and upset Splendid. “Nice to see you. Uh, come inside.” He took a deep breath and accepted that it wouldn't be this time. But it would definitely be next time.

––––––

This time, he was going to fool Splendid for sure. And if not… well, maybe he'd concede it was impossible.

Fliqpy took a deep breath, waiting outside the cafe they planned to meet at and checking his phone. Just act natural, normal, but like Flippy. No need to try and force anything. That was the key.

He heard footsteps and he looked up to see his boyfriend - wearing the dorky glasses that he used as a disguise. “Oh, hey Shiver,” he greeted, offering a wave.

Splendid's mouth made a slight ‘o’ shape, and Fliqpy raised an eyebrow. “What? Something wrong?”

The cyan haired man shook his head. “No, nothing's wrong. It's just… I feel that I should be asking you that. You've been fronting a lot more, Fliqpy.”

“What?!” Fliqpy exclaimed. “But-! But-!”

‘Seems you were just a bit too obvious,’ Flippy teased, but Fliqpy was not in the mood for it.

Enough was enough. Fliqpy was giving up. It was not often he fully retreated, but he just didn't want to be right now. Flippy could have his date, and he could have his time to seethe.

–––––

The anger dissipated with time, though he still remained frustrated - more with himself. Was he truly that obvious? He liked to think he could be a good actor if he really tried, and he had been trying!

…It didn't matter anymore, and though he loathed doing so, he had admitted defeat. But he had to know what he did wrong.

And so that was what led Fliqpy to begrudgingly admit everything just for answers. And to… force a switch without permission, but he was sure that Flippy wouldn't be too mad about it.

“Splendid,” he murmured upon gaining his bearings, “...I got a question. How… do you know it's me? Like, when I don't tell you. I was trying to see if I could fool you, to see what it would take but every single time, you knew. And it pissed me off, because I was really trying my fucking best!”

“Oh,” Splendid let out a breathy chuckle, “so that's why I was seeing so much of you.”

Fliqpy nodded, staring at his lap and cracking his knuckles. Splendid placed an arm around him and pulled him closer, making him let out a disgruntled noise.

“For starters, you speak in a lower tone of voice than Flippy does, and you react a lot differently when I show you affection,” Splendid chuckled, stroking his shoulder. “Your body language is different too, and you tend to speak more bluntly, less formally than Flippy. Maybe it's because I know both of you very well, but it's easy for me to tell.”

His green eyes blinked and he frowned. “Oh. Huh. So, you think that someone who didn't know us would get fooled?”

“Maybe. Someone perceptive might be able to tell, but if it were someone you've interacted with only a few times, then I imagine they might not realize.”

So, the only reason he'd failed was because Splendid knew him way too well. It made a lot of sense, though Fliqpy was still a bit irritated that he hadn't managed to fool him at all. At least he knew why though and-

His face suddenly heated up as he realized it was because Splendid loved him. It was because he was loved that Splendid took care to make note of those distinctions and store them in his memory.

“Ha,” he muttered, relaxing into the touch. “You're so into us, it's not even funny.”

“Hm?” Splendid turned to look at him, a knowing smile on his face. Of course he'd heard it - he had super hearing, but he probably wanted to see if Fliqpy would repeat it and own up to it.

Instead, he looked away, face flushed. “Nothin’.”

Maybe his experiment had failed, but he'd learned something from it, and he was going to take it to heart.

[crehador]

hi! sorry to bother but i had a question about the hypmic lives? i recently got back into the fandom after several years and i wanted to know if there was a general set amount of time we have to wait before the dvds for the lives are for sale? and if its possible to buy any of the previous ones?

hii first of all welcome back to the pit fandom!

you are in the right place with this question bc i definitely know a thing or two about this <- guy who owns multiple copies of every live lol (except the solo lives bc oh god that was expensive)

this'll get long so answer goes under the cut

to start: i am a strong supporter of pirating media you cannot feasibly access otherwise, so don't hesitate to do that. i can't tell you where to actually find the lives online bc i personally do enjoy collecting the physical copies of the lives and throwing my money at the franchise, so i have no idea. but i'm sure they're all out there somewhere if you want to look!

if you are interested in buying them, they'll usually be out within a year of the actual lives taking place. 9th live just released a few weeks back, and 9th live took place nearly a year before that, so sometimes it can be a pretty long wait

10th live may be a somewhat special case because it's the first time we've had multi-angle cameras for the livestream, and i don't know how or if they'll include those on the dvds? i've heard each day is like a 3hr live as well so i'm sure it'll be a big (and pricey) thing even if they don't do anything with the multi-angle camera stuff

in short: i would expect 10th live dvds to be out in about a year, and i would personally guess that they'll cost in the neighborhood of 20k yen at least

(zero out was 16,830 yen on amiami, same price for dvd and bluray, and it seems to me like 10th live is an even bigger live... so i'm expecting it to be more expensive)

if you want to watch 10th live through an official avenue and don't want to wait, it is currently still available for streaming on abema. you can pay for the stream and watch it as many times as you want until the 14th (so there's only a few days left of that) but you'll need a vpn for it to be available in your area (unless you happen to live in japan)

as for the previous lives!

9th live is actually still available on amiami, where i usually get my lives. neither the bluray nor dvd is sold out yet, so you can pick it up that way (but again they are 16,830 yen each)

for older lives, you can generally find them on proxy sites (again, that's only assuming you don't live in japan)

personally i use fromjapan as my proxy. i don't think it's necessarily better than other proxies out there, but it's the one officially affiliated with hypster, which is what i'm mostly buying from lol, so it was just more convenient for me to set up an account there

you can typically find listings for the older lives for quite cheap, sometimes you can even find big lots containing all or most of the lives (usually some cds as well) for a really good price

they also sometimes pop up on mandarake, but won't necessarily be cheapest there

although the prices can be really low (like less than 2k for some lives; for example i just did a quick search and see a copy of six shots for literally only 1,150 yen) keep in mind that there will be shipping! so factor that into your budget as well

one tip on searching, do your searches in japanese (for example search for "ヒプノシスマイク" instead of "hypnosis mic") because sometimes a lot of things don't show up when you search in english. that's the case on fromjapan at least, not sure about other proxies

another tip is do not buy from sites like otaku republic... or whatever it's called, i don't really remember. basically even with expensive overseas shipping, proxies are still so much cheaper, in my experience, than these other sites that mark up prices to absurd rates. like i'll see these english sites selling a doujin for 10,000 yen that you could get for literally 500 yen elsewhere, it's absurd

but ahem yeah tl;dr

10th live dvds should be out in about a year

10th live stream can still be purchased on abema for viewing until the 14th

9th live still available on amiami (possibly elsewhere as well)

older lives best bought through a proxy (fromjapan or whichever you prefer)

keep international shipping in mind if you do not live in japan!

1st live does not exist btw*

2nd and 3rd live are bundled together on one dvd

*like there is no published dvd of it, some footage has been released as part of anniversary celebrations though i'm not sure if that's still available... i'm sure it's somewhere!

[sorcerous-caress]

Sending this all in one ask even though it's technically four different things, hope that's alright-

1. Ik it's small and just in the tags but the Sol response for the soulmates post is so 💞

2. I really liked the writing in your Yurgir post, just thought it was really neat and I liked your wordings (I could not come up with a better way to word this, though- my bad). Let him protect Tav!! Even though he's also completely wrecking them <3

3. I agree really hard on the backgrounds giving dialog options. It really feels like it should be a thing- I think maybe all background affects dialog wise, is whether or not your character gets the Baldurian tag..? But that might just be a race thing (in which you'd either get Baldurian or Underdark. Or... Nothing for githyanki? Unless they have the Planar tag? Idk)

I may not be able to have the option in game, but in my mind's eye my noble Tav introduced themselves proudly with their full name, and Astarion immediately poked fun at them for how much of a mess their family is known to be. Them most likely recognizing Wyll as the Ravengard son and assuming he'd know of them as well but he straight up doesn't. Beautiful stuff

-Tressym anon

Thank you for taking the time to write this! Love hearing your thoughts <3

1 - You read it!! I didn't think anyone would notice, I'm so happy. I really want to add them to the several characters mini-lists I make but I always hesitate because since the post will leave my blog tags, I don't want it to feel like I'm forcing my OC into the fandom main media?

So I just leave it in the tags for my readers to hopefully find, since only you guys know about Sol and will see the OG post while most people will see reblogs of reblogs without my tags.

It's like, while Halsin embraces fate and has faith in it, Sol and Minthara do not. They realise how incredibly lucky they are to have met you. Sol condems fate for being so pitiful, how easily they'd have never met you and just spent their life hiding their true self and following their family.

While Minthara fears fate, she knows she would've killed you under any other circumstances. She dreads the idea of never waking up from her brainwashing, be it from Lolth or the Absolute.

2 - I'm glad to hear you liked it! I can't stress how I will never get tired of hearing this or how these comments never get redundant to me. Honestly, I'm having a really bad day rn but still pushed out a fic bc I felt like it's been a while, it makes me feel appreciated when people tell me they liked anything about my works. So thank you again from the deepest of my heart.

3- omfg, the Astarion idea is gold. He would totally have gossip on most noble families since he spent so much time in the upper city. You'd be announce yourself and titles so proudly and he'd be like "didn't your cousin runaway with that barmaid and leave his wife and three kids behind?"

Or playful banter with Wyll since he came from nobility originally, the two of your characters could've seen each other as kids or something before the whole Mizora thing and he'd be like "wait...I remember you! You're that kid who stole my piece of cake during my birthday party"

Also imagine insulting Gortash during his coronation with a noble background, basically calling hime fake nobility and how he doesn't know the first thing about rulling or etiquette.

Maybe when you come back to the city, you already have an account made in the bank and don't need to start another? Maybe you get pickpocketed quite often because you "look rich" and if you sleep at any camp besides the elfsong tavern, you remain restless and don't heal to full.

Being an obnoxious noble sounds way too fun. A spoiled rich person who has to trudge around in the mud in the underdark and complain about their silk clothes getting absolutely ruined while the party snicker behind you.

Imagine teaching Lae'zel and Shadowheart how to slow dance <3 or taking Karlach to a very fancy restaurant reservation during her date in act 3!

[archonadeptus]

A/N: Just another little ramble, I just love Tighnari sm we need comfort from this lad bc he will not come home to me!! Please I am desperate, I am begging-

Warnings: Mentions of anxiety and a panic attack. Also not proof read just yet I am so sorry I am just so lazy and I'm simping over him😭

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Sleepy Anxiety

Blinking a little once you had awoken, you slowly began to take in your surroundings. It was nice to be back home in your Serenitea pot, it wasn't as tiring.  Humming a little, you turned your head to face a sleeping Kazuha causing you to giggle lightly. Turning the other way, you were faced with a much awake Tighnari - both of them holding your hands softly. 

"Good morning, flower." Tighnari spoke, eyes soft as he gave your hand a light squeeze. "Did you rest well?" Humming once again in response, you allowed out a yawn before smiling.

"Mhm yeah… Still tired though but I'm alright." He nodded,  gently putting his spare hand against your forehead. 

"Forgive me for touching you so casually,  my creator. I seem to have been appointed as your personal doctor here so I need to keep an eye on how you're feeling." A warmness covered your cheeks before Kazuha began to stir. 

"Creator… Are you feeling okay?" His voice was still very much clouded over with sleep. "Nightmares?" Shaking your head softly, Tighnari removed his hand and offered a sweet smile. 

"No, no nightmares Kazu. I'm okay." Sitting up a little, you reluctantly let go of their hands. "Just still tired out from creating Sumeru… It's such a complex yet beautiful land." 

"Like Zhongli said, it will take you time to recover from creating such a beautiful land." Tighnari paused for a moment, eyes filled with adoration toward you. "I will forever be grateful for the life that you breathed into our land." 

"As am I for all the lands." Kazuha joined, sitting up beside you. "Shall we help prepare you for the day? Or shall I call in Thoma for you?" Yawning softly in thought, you shook your head. 

"I'm sure he's busy with breakfast… No matter how many times I tell him to relax he just can't, can he?" Grinning a little with a soft laugh you continued to speak, "I adore that about him though. So I'll leave him be,  I can get ready alone today." Reluctantly,  both of them stood and nodded. 

"If there's anything you need my flower, then please call for us. We will happily help Thoma make breakfast,  maybe I can show him a Sumeru delicacie." With a deep bow, they both left you at your request to prepare for the day ahead. In all honesty, you wanted this moment to yourself. You used to dislike being doted on, but today? You felt like you needed it. Since coming to Teyvat you had completely forgotten about what happened within the human realm you were in. But with some thought, you remembered at will and that anxiety you had still followed you here. They knew about it of course, but you never let them know the severity. Albedo knew though - but you made him promise he wouldn't tell the others. He'd only found out by accident, the others would panic just as he had a little. (A lot really,  but he tried not to show it. You received a very clingy Albedo and many helpful supports you had unfortunately run out of.) Those potion supports Albedo had given you worked wonders,  but it would be too obvious to ask for somebody to get them. And you couldn't go yourself,  you were much too drained. 

Sighing after being caught up in your thoughts, you began to dress into a more comfortable attire fitted for the creator of Teyvat. This will be a long day… Of course the others would allow you to sleep in as much as you needed to! But it just felt wrong doing so. Climbing down the steps, your eyes couldn't help but smile along with your lips at the sight of Zhongli. Dragging yourself over, your arms wrapped around him. 

"Morning 'li." His arms didn't hesitate to wrap themselves around you as well, holding you close to his warmth. He himself was such a lovely support for your anxiety, he was always so comforting.

"Good morning, dear. Is everything alright? You seem rather tired." He smiled as you tighten your grip on him ever so Softly, "Do not be afraid to lean on me for support, you may be our divine creator - but even you need your rest and love." He truly knew everything didn't he? Nodding softly you gazed up at him. 

"Thank you… I guess you're right - I'm just tired still I think." With a knowing nod, he held your hand and bowed to plant a kiss to it. 

"Maybe some breakfast will do you some good? Allow me to escort you." His hand continued to hold yours as he walked the rest of the way with you - a new scent filling your lungs. 

"Creator… Good morning." Xiao greeted, bowing along with the others. "We assisted in creating your breakfast." Smiling in return, you sat yourself down and sat Xiao beside you. Once the others were seated, Thoma and Tighnari had soon left the kitchen and had placed a new dish before you. 

"One Selva Salad for our holiness." Thoma grinned as he placed the dish before you.

"I thought it would be best to teach Thoma this specific dish from Sumeru, it's the best one to eat so early on." Gazing at the food before you, you truly began to notice your hunger.

"Thank you all, I appreciate this so much! I'll have to cook for you all next time as a thank you." Digging into your breakfast you didn't see Zhongli whisper something to Tighnari, the boy nodding before his gaze met you with a curious yet loving look.

It was finally the afternoon now and you had just reached the main door to your Serenitea Pot mansion. You had fallen upon the decision to clear your head a bit and maybe speak out to seek Albedos assistance. The others would understand you knew that, it would make life so much easier too. But something in you just felt ashamed. You were the Divine Creator of this world,yet you were filled with so much anxiety and constant doubt.

"Flower, allow me to escort you to your destination?" Your eyes grew wide as you turned to face him.

"Ah! Tighnari! No no it's okay, didn't Ajax ask to spar with you?" He let out a light chuckle,

"Indeed he did. Zhongli, however, offered to take my place. I'm certain fighting an archon piqued his interest much more than a forest ranger." Laughing a little under your breath you shook your head,

"He's one to fight anyone. Please though, go ahead and join them! I'm alright. Ajax may need a lot of medical attention from you." Tighnari leaned against the wall, eyes studying you carefully. 

"Thoma has that covered, I insist." With a light sigh in defeat you pushed open the door to be greeted by the many plants and trees you'd grown. How were you going to get what you needed now? Walking along the grass You took a nervous glimpse at his empty hand Maybe that would soothe this heavy and terrifying feeling in your chest.

"Tighnari? May I hold your hand?" His hand soon found your own, fingers intertwined with your own.

"You never have to ask twice, flower." Nodding again you gave his hand a light Squeeze, trying to desperately hide these newly forming tears. Why did today have to be one of your bad days?

"C-can we maybe sit for a while out here?" Tighnari heard the unsure tone within your voice and caught a glimpse of golden tinted tears upon your cheeks. He gently guided you to a bench placed beside some oak trees, the leaves themselves hiding you both away from everyone.

"My grace, take a deep breath in... I've got you and believe me when I say that I won't let anything happen to you." His hand moved to rub your back as you hid yourself in him and began to finally freely cry. "You're safe with me." Tighnari didn't let you go as you cried, in fact he held you closer to your chest with a protective hold. He would never let anything get you - he adores you so much. Listening to your jagged breathing, he softly shuffled you both so you were comfortably resting against his chest. "My flower, let's get that breathing back under control, Okay?" He began to slow his own breaths down for a demonstration and he thought it may help that you can feel the light yet guiding rise and fall of his chest too. "Breathe in for four… Hold for four… Breathe out for four… Hold for four… Let's repeat that my sweet flower, you're doing so well." Soon that horrid tension within your chest had subsided, leaving only glittering trails down your cheeks as a reminder to what had just happened.

"Thank you, 'Nari." You managed a light smile toward him which caused his eyes to light up. 

"Anything for you… Would you like to talk about it? Is proven to be a really good method when things get overwhelming. You can always share your burden with me. However, if you don't wish to then that's equally okay. Regardless, I will be here for you y/n."  Taking a lighter breath in, you just nodded.

"I have anxiety and Albedo is the only one who knows... Apart from you now of course. But he makes me potions to help me feel calmer! However I didn't realise I had run out until it was too late…" Sighing softly, You watched as he placed his tail against your hands to fiddle with. " I didn't want to tell you all in case it made you all worry. You all do enough for me! I can't possibly give you all another burden!" Before you could continue, Tighnari had pressed a reassuring kiss to your forehead.

"Flower, you're forgetting that we all love you and we want to care for you and do these things for you. That's what makes us happy! And I'm your personal doctor so until we can get Albedo here I'll Prepare you a very good anxiety reducing herbal medicine okay?" Smiling at him you nodded lightly.

"T-that would be nice…"

"Then how about, if you're comfortable, we let the others know so that we can all support you better. Would that feel okay, love?" In all honesty you had always wanted to... And now seemed like the best time to do so. 

"Please? But will you stay by my side?"

"Always, my sweet y/n… I won't ever stray from your side. Let's go then shall we?"

[kuraitsune]

Hello! I'm a fans of ur work, thankyou for give me serotonin supplies!

Maybe can I request luxiem hc with a s/o who's suddenly disappear, become difficult to trace and just leave a message "lets break up" without reason but actually hospitalized? Their s/o always perfectly hide the fact about often being hospitalized bc congenital disease, s/o want to make the boys hate s/o and sacrifice all of the feeling. All is just s/o doesn't want become a burden to them. I have almost same situation and need some comfort, you can ignore this if not comfortable, okay 😉, thanks!

Sorry if too long 🥲

PARiNGS - ...Luxiem(seperate) x GN!reader

MENTiONS - ...just luxiem~

SUMMARY - ...of course, you knew it'd make him confused and worried for your well-being but you absolutely do not want to be a burden to your boyfriend. he says something else though...

READER'S PROFiLE - ...you have a disease that causes you to be hospitalized frequently, and you were able to hide that fact perfectly well. you're in an established relationship with the boys seperately!

DiSCLAiMERS - intentionally lowercase. in no way am i a professional writer, i just like english lol. please know that these writings are a work of fiction and are the appearance and persona of the character! not the person behind the screen.

iMPORTANT A/N - won't be going into specifics of the reason why the reader is hospitalized. and don't worry if the ask is too long, anon, i hope this helps you at least a little! (also i have never wrote hcs myself before but i hope this still helps!)

i imagine shu to search everywhere for you when you sent that text

he just wants to know, why?

he'd eventually find you after calling several places to see if you were seen anywhere near the places. he would run to the hospital to see if you're absolutely fine.

when he saw you laying there peacefully, chest heaving up and down, he relaxed his tensed muscles after maybe several days of searching high and low.

he would stay by you whenever you can until you open your eyes to his amethyst ones.

you were shocked to say the least when you saw shu sitting next to you.

"why'd you text me that?" he would ask at last.

you would hesitate to explain but reassures you.

"i... just didn't want you to worry about me as much..." you said once you explained everything.

he let out a breath of relief with the knowledge of why you suddenly disappeared.

"you'd never be a bother to me."

ah, the detective himself.

mysta would definitely be terribly insecure, confused, and worried with your sudden text and disappearance.

he obviously worked on missing people cases, but he never knew how the feeling was when somebody you knew dearly just straight up disappeared with a text of "let's break up" without anything else to explain.

he would try to sniff out the last places you've been, but to his dismay, there was nothing to go off of.

eventually, he received a call from the hospital that his s/o was hospitalized

oh boy you know that he'd get in the car a second later

he might've went over the speed limit? but he's fine.

i think-

finally, when he saw you there, sitting up and reading a book, he absolutely wanted to hug the shit out of you. but he didn't know if he should?

so he just said something, "hey... why'd you just leave me without a trace?!" he'd pout.

you looked up from the book to see his iconic fox hat and ashen hair, "i knew it wouldn't take long for you to get here."

"but i'm being serious, i really feel like it would be better for us to break up."

he'd look at you shocked, "but why?"

"i don't... don't want you to be worried about me all the time, i'd just be... more of a burden and weight to you," your voice had shook slightly.

"not a chance! you're mine... and only mine... okay? don't do that again to me."

softest boy. and you can't change my mind

ike would call you several times and when you haven't picked up after maybe 6-8 times, he'd get extremely anxious.

he'd explain the entire problem to luxiem and all

then everyone's trying to look for you and eventually either himself or another one of the members found you there in the hospital.

you were sound asleep when ike visited, and he stayed there all night just to see you speak to him again.

he'd probably be reading a book as he waits(ah yes, all nighters. couldn't agree more)

you would wake to ike's voice, softly humming a tune as he read.

or you would see ike right next to your bed asleep, with his book in his lap, forgotten.

"good morning, dear. how are you feeling?" he'd tiredly ask

"w...why did you come here? to see me?" you ask, staring in his golden green irises. "i thought i said..."

"shh... i know you don't actually mean that. if you think you'd just be a burden, think again."

so i haven't written for luca at all so i hope this is still to your liking!

when luca found your text, he rushed to your house and found that... you were missing.

he'd definitely get some search team in the mafia to find you

i mean, can't really argue with that. you might've been kidnapped or something of the like by the rival mafia.

eventually, some of the agents in the search team found you and reported where you were to him.

and so, he arrived by your ward door. but apparently the hospital staff didn't let him in so you could hear him trying to reason with the staff.

he failed, sadly. but the next day you awaken to luca's face very close to yours.

"AHSGADSJKAH- oh. luca? why are you here..?" you softly pushed his face away after realizing.

"you left without anything behind except that text."

"i expected you to find me eventually but not this early," you already predicted that he'd find you anyways. i mean, it's luca kaneshiro for what we know

"i will keep on coming back, whether you like it or not"

vox is going to speed around your shared house.

when he realizes you're not anywhere in the house, he notifies his fellow genmates.

everyone is panicking to find where tf you went

until a few days of failing to locate where you are. kinda sad tbh

suddenly, he gets a feeling that you're in the general direction of the hospital.

bringing along some of your favorite snacks in a bag, he asks the receptionist if they have you in the building

they say yes and told him where you were, luckily he was right with following his intuition.

you were scrolling through twitter when he entered, tilting your head at the demon.

"darling, i've been looking for you."

"vox... i thought i already texted you about this."

"you did, but i do not think that's what you want in the slightest," he hands you a bag of [favorite snack] as he spoke.

he would probably still be flirty as you stay in the hospital, sending you a message every morning and night. even during his afternoon visits, he's still flirty with you.

"as much as you want me to leave, there's simply no way to let go of me."

NOTE - there's probably an obvious answer of which boys i fall hard for. unless it isn't? but this is the first actual writing that has all of luxiem written for. hope this helps with comfort~

DO NOT: repost or copy any of @kuraitsune's works! sharing is fine with credits.

[ashtray-girl]

Sorry if i'm bothering you but i really wanted to rant abt Johnny and Moz and hear some of your thoughts about these two certain topics that i can't get out of my head:  

I find it incredibly weird that Johnny and Morrissey (as far as we know) never became friends again or never tried to reconcile their relationship after the breakup - like how do you go from being best friends and hanging out with each other 24/7 to "We haven’t known each other for 35 years - which is many lifetimes ago." as Morrissey said on that letter. The strangest part to me is that, since the break up and to this day both Johnny and Moz never hesitate to mention again and again how much their relationship meant to them in the band and how much they loved each other during that period of their lives - i mean the way they describe each other and the words that they use come straight up from a romance novel. Also the fact that Morrissey continued to write songs abt how much Johnny meant to him and like Johnny getting that swallow tattoo on his neck and other weird stuff like why care to mention each other so much and make everything so dramatic when you - as you claim - haven't known each other for a lifetime? And idk on a personal level if it would be me in their situation i would at some point try to fix whatever we had if we obv meant that much to each other after all these years.

In all honestly when i read abt Marrissey Johnny sometimes just comes off as someone who suffered (and maybe still does) from internalised homophobia, when you read the way Moz talks abt him in his lyrics it definitely gives off that vibe "Though she needs you More than she loves you " , "Love is natural and real But not for such as you and I" or "I am born to hang but not to have kids and to never be wed - no, to someone whom I don't even love" and that interview when Moz said that "That perhaps Johnny Marr was in fact madly in love with me, but didn't feel he could act on that - or that he didn't have the courage to ever take it any further?'" And i don't want to seem like i'm trying to bash Angie or anything but i find they way the got married pretty weird and almost rushed in way like would they even get married if Joe Moss hadn't insisted that they do? Even Andy thought it was weird "They got married in some evangelical church. It was pretty bizarre. There were only about 10 of us there, including the crew. The ceremony only lasted about 15 minutes. I was a witness. Afterwards they hired a function room in the hotel and we had champagne and a buffet. It was a nice day, but it was just weird. It didn't seem real. You know what it's like in America - everything's plastic and phoney. It just didn't seem like a proper wedding. No relatives were there."

Anyway sorry for the long rant!! I just wanted to say that i absolutely love your Marrissey ramblings, Have a nice day :)

Hi anon! don't worry you're not bothering me at all, i'm always down to talk abt marrissey haha i'll just have to reply w/2 separate parts bc there's so much i want to say lmao 1. i've been chatting to @loathsome-tonight abt this (comparing notes, so to speak) and both of us agree that the "no-contact" situation after The Smiths' breakup is essentially bullshit, and for quite a few reasons: - first of all, there's proof they were exchanging notes around the time Morrissey was recording Viva Hate - when Johnny Rogan first published his book Morrissey and Marr: The Severed Alliance Morrissey predictably wanted no part in it, and Johnny only got involved bc he felt pressured by the author getting a bit too close to his friends and family. however, once the book came out Johnny apparently felt compelled to call Morrissey and reassure him abt the extent and the reasons of his involvement - when Morrissey released The Last of the Famous International Playboys, Johnny apparently sent him a note to congratulate him on its success - if you've read Morrissey's Autobio, you'll know he sent Johnny a letter in 1992, to which Johnny replied telling him he was sorry for everything that happened and taking "full responsibility". they then met each other and went for a drive on the moors - after that meeting, their relationship seemed to improve. in a 1993 interview for Select, Johnny said: "the relationship between me and Morrissey is the best in the group, of the four of us. i still see him now. i called him last night. last time i saw him was a couple of days before he went to do his recent album. we let a bored media get the better of us, but there's always been a certain telepathy between us even when we didn't see each other. we played a game with the press and they played with us, but it's not true life. no, we're friends." - then, the trial happened. and that's when things went south again between them. being interviewed with Bernard Sumner for The Face in july 1996, and being asked if he and Morrissey were still friends, Johnny said: "not... (pregnant pause) not particularly... [...] if i'm too glib then people think i'm being disrespectful and if i'm too serious they think there's a reconciliation on the cards. i just don't have any feelings about it." except a month earlier, once again being interviewed with Bernard Sumner (for the NME this time) he was playing quite a different tune. asked if he was still in contact with Morrissey, he said: "occasionally. last time we met it was a really nice experience. it was really good to see him, especially since a... a feud that didn't really exist had become public property. and because of the relationship we had it was time to resolve it in private and do something ourselves because it was really quite a serious situation. i was tired of being involved in other people's games and i wanted to do something for us. [...] i know it's interesting for other people, but it's kinda private. i certainly don't wish him - or anyone i've worked with - ill. life's too short." whatever happened between them at that time, it seems like 1996 was quite a turbulent year for their relationship... - years after (seemingly) going their separate ways, in 2008, they met once again. this time in person, in a pub in Manchester. apparently they even talked abt a potential Smiths' reunion, but Johnny already had other engagements with The Cribs, so nothing was done abt it - in recent years, Johnny also mentioned exchanging emails with Morrissey so even tho i highly doubt they're still in contact now, there was definitely a time when they were on speaking terms, even after The Smiths broke up. however, it seems like their relationship was quite volatile and hot and cold, with them being fine one moment and being snarky the next. personally, i've found it surprising how none of the biographers/journos that wrote abt them directly challenged them on this, bc ultimately it's very easily disprovable.

[monstersinthecosmos]

Another white woman can’t shut up and let us speak for ourselves.

Oh man, Anon. You’re setting me up for failure here! This is a paradoxical message bc if I respond, I’m continuing to not shut up.

(Cut for length, apologies for the wall of text. More apologies & sources to Black opinion pieces beneath!)

I do wanna say I’m super sorry if any of the language in my posts about the casting was alienating or insensitive. I said several times that I wasn’t trying to speak over anyone. And I don’t want “I’m sorry if” to sound like an insincere apology—I do mean it, but I’m also saying that if I got anything wrong it was just me being ignorant and I didn’t mean to hurt anybody. And I want to say that, now that the dust has settled and there’s been such an overwhelming negative response to the news in general, I see why that feels discouraging and hurtful to fans of color, and that fucking sucks. So I also hesitate to bring it up again cause like, I feel like it would be more productive and healing for people to post positive stuff for a while so we can try to build a space that prioritizes inclusivity and lets this bullshit rest for a minute. And I’m really sorry for contributing to that, I really didn’t intend to hurt anybody.

Sometimes I treat Tumblr like an opinion space and I can be kinda lazy about citing sources and I’m super sorry about that, honestly. I should’ve. Some of my opinions are kinda baked in at this point from conversations I have pretty often IRL, and I listen to several podcasts with Black perspectives on media, and I’m sorry for paraphrasing some of that instead of linking. My fault, my bad!!! 🙏 Here’s a few of the sources I consulted that shaped my opinion:

Twitter thread by cheryllynneaton about specific elements of the story that might look bad in a race-swap

Twitter thread by endlessyarning about the importance of diverse crews and also the broader picture of racism in the industry as a whole

Twitter thread by AfronautGriot about how casting Black actors in white stories isn't good representation

Here's some YouTubes I watched:

This one talks about the history of slavery in Louisiana and the Free People of Color, as well as how problematic the brothel angle is.

This one is about how this change is tokenizing.

These final three also address the idea of not wanting "hand-me-downs" and how it's pandering.

(I just checked again and so far these are the only YouTube videos I can find from Black creators who have spoken on it, so far no one supports it. idk. Let me know if I missed somebody! I'm really trying to challenge my confirmation bias and understand the full spectrum of opinions but I'm having a hard time finding anyone in favor of it.)

I looked up some other sources, too, that are memorable to me and that I could think of off the top of my head -

This particular episode is actually about Hamilton and the complications of race swapping a historical story and what that means to the erasure or belittlement of slavery, while also taking on the challenge of creating a meta experience for a white audience who doesn't actually understand it for what it is, along with calling out the idea of using Black culture and POC to entertain the elite theatre audience while making the show prohibitively expensive to regular people.

Afro Horror - The Skeleton Key

This episode of Afro Horror about The Skeleton Key I think is relevant, too, I love this podcast and this one sticks out because I think it has a lot of similar themes to IWTV and the idea of where to draw the line when it becomes gratuitous Black suffering for the sake of the director’s white guilt or the sake of the white audience. (I think their episode about The Craft is relevant to this conversation too and the issue of creating Black characters whose arcs revolve around racism instead of having a fuller personality, which I think has come up in some of the IWTV convos as far as like, would it be good to create a more accurate picture of slavery in the show and acknowledge it fully instead of dancing around it, or would that be contributing to representation only being about trauma?)

Attack of the Queerwolf! - A Pity Party is my Favorite Party

And this episode of Attack of the Queerwolf! reviews IWTV and got into the plotholes of writing Louis as a sympathetic slave owner, which!, while not exactly the topic we’re on right now, I thought really did sum up why this is a problem in the text, and it really influenced my opinion lately as I’ve daydreamed about how they might navigate it on the show.

I also re-listened to a few epsiodes of Fansplaining today to refresh on what lessons we can learn about racism in fandom spaces. I generally suggest this podcast to everyone who fandoms as a hobby because it gets into really incredible conversations about navigating this space in a way that takes it seriously as a hobby, creative outlet, and social forum. And these conversations were a great reminder to be careful how we talk about race, even when we're well meaning. I think going forward as the show comes out and the fandom gets louder these will be really great reminders about how to conduct ourselves and call out shitty behavior when we see it.

https://www.fansplaining.com/episodes/135a-race-and-fandom-revisited-part-1

https://www.fansplaining.com/episodes/135b-race-and-fandom-revisited-part-2

I’ve been following the news about this show pretty closely so my initial unhappiness was not “Oh my gosh I don’t want a Black actor” but more along the lines of “omg these white people are going to make this show so fucking racist.” And I tried to convey that in my posts. I hope that was clear. Anyone who caught my post out in the wild might not have had that context. I know that my intention doesn’t matter if it landed wrong, that it still might have hurt people, but I just want to say that for the sake of clearing the air. And the ironic thing is that I was actually more open to Black Louis a few months ago when the leak came out, until Black fans on Discord told me I was being an obnoxious white person and we started having the conversations about getting meaningful and respectful representation. (As a couple of those videos above called it, original characters instead of “hand-me-downs.”) It really got me thinking about some of the angles that hadn't occurred to me and that I'd taken for granted, and I defer to those conversations. I mentioned in my posts that I know all Black fans are not a monolith and of course there isn't going to be a consensus here, like some people are going to disagree with the sources I shared, I totally understand that, but combining all of this with the overlapping lessons in queer representation and disability representation (which I feel more qualified to speak about and spend a lot of time with in other fandoms) definitely influenced my opinion.

I really didn't intend to speak over anyone, so while I repeated a lot of the ideas I heard from Black fans, I'm sorry for not linking them!

I’m excited to see how Jacob does and I think he’s gonna be handsome af in the period costume and I’m going to watch and I’m cheering for him, but I am also critical of even more racist storytelling in this fucking universe, like I really thought that was something the show could improve upon since it’s already rampant in the books. So I’m curious to see and I hope they get their shit together and do it right lol. I think everyone who likes VC is kinda like, in the fucking trash fire together and we all know that the books are fucked up, and it would be really nice to enjoy the show without making everyone feel even worse about our bad taste. Anyway anyone feel free to share these links independently in their own posts! Feel free to reblog as well bc I'm not afraid to get dunked on by this anon and I'll take the heat LMAO but it would be nice to give them their own space where it's not framed by a white person gabbing about it. =) That's counter-productive.

[arrtemisia]

Hey so... If you could redo cannon Makoto what would you do? How would she change? I'm curious cause out of the main cast she was the only one that I just couldn't get a solid interest in (aside from Ann but that's just cause the idea of her being a fashion model confuses me more than anything I think)

God. So much stuff.

There's a couple big things about her that bug me, and none of them really change at all in her canon vs fanon portrayal, which means it's hard for me to enjoy her even in fanworks. In my opinion, I think her biggest flaw is that she's simply miscast, and her character would have worked much better as a confidant instead of a thief, which would've given her a place of her own to shine and avoid the weird dissonance between different aspects of her character (and this was actually their original plan, so Hifumi would have taken her place which. She would've fit in much better imo bc she's actually suffered under another's will like every single one of the others and she's an actual strategist instead of just """smart,""' but that's a topic for another post), but since we're talking about how I'd personally fix Makoto in the role she currently fills, I'm going to list some of the issues I take with her and potential solutions.

First of all, just to get it out of the way, she needs an actual reason to be here. She doesn't have one, full stop.

The big thing tying the thieves together is that they're all victims of abuse and oppression who rebel against their tormentors and want to prevent anyone else from suffering like they did. I'm not saying Makoto has never struggled, because she has, but it's really, really not the same type of struggle.

This leads to weird moments where everything about Makoto's personality and characterization, such as being a stickler for the rules, idolizing the police, etc mean that she has no in-character reason to stick with the thieves after kaneshiro is dealt with and should maybe even be opposing the thieves' way of doing things, but the plot drags her along anyway because the game really wants her to be a party member. And really, what's up with her awakening? She gets threatened once and then bang-boom-kapow she has a persona? It's weak.

Also before anyone says "well all those things about her personality change when she awakens and she sheds her good girl personality and yada yada," no she doesn't, actually, and I'm getting there I promise

The easiest solution here is also the most drastic. Swap when Makoto and Akechi join. This kills two birds with one stone; Makoto gets an actual reason to awaken through Sae, and Akechi's betrayal hits harder because he's pretending to be with you for longer (although admittedly this is much less needed on Akechi's part ever since royal).

Not only does this give Makoto a much stronger reason to awaken and join in the first place (Sae starts twisting into something horrible and Makoto wants to help both stop and save her), but it also gives her an internally consistent reason to stick around. Before, unlike the others (who all at least have "I want to stop others from feeling like I did," or in Futaba's case, "I wanna find the ppl who killed my mom."), once Kaneshiro is done with, Makoto has no real big personal reason to stick around other than "I'm a thief now and the plot says so ig." Now, of COURSE she'd want to go after Shido because he's the one that was manipulating her sister, and after that of COURSE she'd want to help take down mr divine sippy cup in order to get Shido tried and jailed.

However, if we're not going to shuffle around the order of party members bc that'd nuke the canon plot a little, then we need to rework the entire Kaneshiro arc and/or Makoto's backstory and values as a whole. Yeah this is why the first solution was the easy one.

I'm going to go in-depth about how I feel Makoto's personality and values should be reworked later I'M GETTING THERE, so I'll talk about that then. As for reworking Kaneshiro, I... don't have a whole lot of ideas. The palace itself is fine, it has one of the coolest atmospheres in the game (c'mon, there's got to be a fun bank heist in a game like this), but Makoto's connection with him is very weak. Maybe have it be that he was extorting her for years in secret and she never said anything? Maybe have him be the one that ordered the hit on her father? I'm not sure what would be strong enough to match to the other palace leaders, without feeling forced. I'll have to come up with more ideas for this one.

The second big issue I have with her is less of one specific thing and more of a collection of smaller problems that all come from the same source. She waltzes in, takes over, and starts acting like she's the boss of things. She then names herself the "strategist" and yet only ever states the obvious and, to use a word I hate, mansplains things to you that you already learned two palaces ago. She's constantly condescending and passive agressive to the other team members, especially Ann and Ryuji, berates everyone for not being as naturally book smart as her when all the other characters are smart in their own ways and just not good at academia, all the while everyone around her, even characters that normally wouldn't take that (ryuji, ann) or are too prideful to admit to anyone bring better (mona), are constantly like "You're so cool, Makoto!"

It's a classic case of show don't tell, and rhe game is obsessed with telling you that Makoto is "smart" and "cool." Once she joins the team, all the characters that were originally shown to be smart in their own ways are never allowed to say anything meaningful ever again bc Makoto is the "smart" one. She never does anything particularly different compared to the other party members, but the game is constantly insisting she's special.

I'm very hesitant to call her a mary sue, because I don't think she is one, and also I disagree with the use of that term at all as these days it's just meant to devalue powerful characters that happen to be girls, but I definitely think she's emblematic of a common writing flaw that can lead to mary sues. The problem with making a character the "smart" one as a personality trait instead of something that just comes naturally is that you have to dumb down everyone else's characterization to make them look smarter or cooler by comparison. It means that the character you're trying to prop up bends everyone else around them, making them act in ways they normally wouldn't in order to make the one character you're trying to look cool seem better by comparison.

This has an easy solution: cut that shit out. Have her slowly find her place on the team naturally instead of forcing her way in as a pseudo-leader. Don't give every single "well, duh" line to her, and cut the scenes where she stands around explaining obvious things you already know in a condescending manner so she looks smarter. Let the other characters actually act like themselves when they're in the same room as her instead of bending around her to prop her up. Have her treat those characters with respect in turn, bc for all intents and purposes when it comes to thief stuff they are her senpai, instead of just having her act like she's better than them, or boss them around, or be passive agressive about the fact that their grades are bad. Show that other characters are smart in other ways instead of acting like Makoto's book smarts are the end-all be-all. And for fuck's sake, stop acting like "smart" and "punches stuff real good" are personality traits, which leads me into my last big point.

Makoto and Queen don't really feel like the same character. Okay, so to explain this, let's walk through her awakening again.

Makoto is a good girl who's a stickler for the rules, sucks up to authority, idolizes the police, is obsessed with her grades and academic performance, and looks down on others who don't do the same. A couple people call her useless and then she gets threatened by a mob boss, after which she decides to live her life for herself and completely shed her good girl lifestyle and rebel against everyone pressuring her.

That is, except for the teensy tiny detail where she doesn't.

Nothing significant about her personality changes all post her awakening and joining the thieves, aside from the part where she sucks up to authority maybe a little less. She's still uptight, her grades (and the grades of those on her team) are still her top priority, she still idolizes the law and those enforcing it.

Y'see, persona has a bit of a common problem with saying one thing about a character, be it making a reveal or saying they're gonna change in some big way, but not fully committing to it. You can see it most in p4 (party members saying they're gonna quit/stop/do whatever and then backtracking in the last two ranks of their social link), but it's rarely so severe that it completely ruins their personality and character arc as a whole. Makoto, I feel, is the main exception.

The writers want Makoto to become this tough, rebellious biker queen who oozes badassery in every move and will never follow anyone's wishes for her ever again, but they also want to keep her old personality of the uptight naive rule-following law-abiding academic. So, instead of altering one to better fit the other, they try to do both... badly.

Instead of integrating the two parts of her personality, it just feels like she swaps between them whenever the plot calls for it which is really, really jarring. She'll be stuttering about following the rules and getting to know her generation one second, and then the next she'll be yelling about mowing down shadows with her motorcyle the next. It feels like Queen and Makoto are two separate uninteresting half-characters, with only a couple personality traits each, instead of one whole well-rounded character.

Either rework Makoto's thief aesthetic to better suit her personality as a whole and give her something other than "I'm totally not a good girl anymore" to make her compelling, or actually commit to Makoto shedding her past life everyone around her had forced on her and change her personality. Have her grades start to slip, have her talk back to Sae, change the way she dresses so it's rougher and less perfect, hell, maybe even have her quit student council. Just, anything to make her more well-rounded as a character.

I have some other nitpicks with her here and there, like the fact that her confidant is actually just Eiko's confidant and doesn't give Makoto herself any development, or the way the game keeps trying to set her up as Joker's waifu or whatever, but those are just that; nitpicks. The three big things I mentioned earlier - her not having a compelling personal reason to be a part of the thieves, the way the writers shove her into the spotlight by putting down everyone around her, and the fact that her characterization is just one badass half and one smart half that don't mesh and have little else in between - are the problems I feel are what's actually holding her character back.

Again, I do think that all of this stems from the fact that she's miscast, but it's too late to fix that now. While I personally really dislike Makoto, I do kind of understand her appeal for others when she's written well, and she's a totally valid character to like. I just wish she was portrayed better.

(Also, if anyone wants to reblog this, feel free I ask that you please don't put this in Makoto's main character tag. I know how much it sucks to get a bunch of negativity in a character's main tags as I am an Edelgard fe3h fan)

[determinationandcaffeine]

Hi! Next year I'm going to live in France for Erasmus and it will be my first experience living alone (without my parents) and abroad. Could you give me some tips about it, please??

Omg this is so exciting!! Tbh I live in a residence hall so I can’t giveyou any advice on appartment and food related stuff

Keeptrack of your expenses – you’d be surprised how fast money goes.You now have to buy simple stuff like toilet paper that your parentsprovided, and trust me, it adds up.

Alsoit’s super easy to get carried away when you’re buying food and get aton on crap but again, it adds up (specially junk food is superexpensive?? like??). So I suggest you make a list of stuff you need before going to the store and stick to it.

Preferablybuy frozen stuff because it lasts longer.

Andknow how long stuff lasts. For instance, eggs are usually only goodfor like 2 weeks, so don’t buy more than you know you can eat in thattime.

It’sbetter to go to the store several times than to overbuy.

Ifyou can learn to do laundry beforehand, that’s always good. Pleaseseparate your white and color clothes, I’ve seen so many catastrophesbc ‘oh it doesn’t matter! My clothes will be fine!’

Youcan iron your clothes but tbh no one actually does that.  Takes tomuch time. As long as you store stuff that tends to get wrinkly onhangers, it’ll sort itself out. The only exception may be skirts.

There’llbe no one to tell you to get your ass to class and it’s so common tojust stop caring. I have a post about that here.

Ifpossible, get a roommate/flatmate.

Itgets super lonely wihtout one, specially if it’s your first yearliving on your own.

You’regoing abroad so it’ll help to have omeone you can count on to go outwith.

Appartmentexpenses are so much cheaper when you split them up.

Ithelps with going to class too. You kind of feel judged if you don’t

Andit sort of stops you from just lying around all day without doinganything.

Keepingyour space clean is so important. Here are some tips. If you get aroommate, agree on a cleaning plan.

General posts on how to adult 1 & 2

KEEPYOUR KEYS AND ID WITH YOU AT ALL TIMES.

Takecare of your health insurance bc no one’s going to do it for you.This is really fucking important bc you don’t realize that if forinstance you have a fever, you’re gonna need a doctor’s note andyou’re not going to get it if you don’t have a doctor to go too (butif it happens, go to the emergency room. They’ll probably give you along speech about how you should go to your doctor for this stuffbut ¯\_(ツ)_/¯).

Don’thole up in your room!! Especially if you’re going abroad, go seestuff!!

Onthe same note, it’s not weird to go out by yourself. If you wanna gosomewhere, go. You don’t need a roommate or a friend every singletime.

Getyour bank account stuff arranged omg. Also, I’d definitely suggestgetting a debit card because that way your parents can send youmoney. But also!! Avoid using the card itself as much as possible.It’s better to go to an ATM and get cash because otherwise you don’trealize how much money you’re spending and it’s super easy to gocrazy.

Geta hamper, a water boiler and mugs, all the mugs. You will use themfor everything – water, tea, coffee, mug cakes, mashing stuff…  

Andlastly, don’t hesitate to call your parents for advice. You may livealone but you’re not on your own. I can’t tell you the number oftimes a week I call my mom for advice on Adult Stuff.

Hope that helped! And have fun next year!!