#also ill probably be reblogging this a few times over the next few days

[actiniumwrites]

hi! so I made a google form to gather feedback about my writing! it’s completely anonymous and isn’t super long, so if you have the time i’d really appreciate if you guys could fill it out :D 

Link to the form 

[ladyyatexel]

Friends, Romans, Tumblrites, lend me your reblogs.

I'm Xel and I live in a society! I think there's a solid chance you do also! So you may relate to the profoundly crappy thing that happened to me and that I once again need a community assist.

I lost a temporary job that was supposed to turn into a permanent job in June because no one there felt safe enough to retire. Only two of us in the apartment were under 50. One of the crew was over 70. Three were chronically ill/disabled. No one felt safe enough to leave in order for me to stay, so I was trained for basically 6 months for nothing.

I have survived on savings from that job until this point, but I'm at the point where I cannot pay rent. I'm looking into getting help from sources more local to me but the internet has always felt like people who cared about me more than the people I share DNA with, really.

Many of the social services that I was signed up for expired the day that I was supposed to be told that I would be a permanent hire, and since that didn't go down, now I have to start it all again from the beginning, and there are gaps in my security net.

I tell you all of that just to say that I am actually trying to do things, I'm not here to just beg and coast along on some sort of lavish lifestyle where I, uh. Keep living in this dodgy apartment with my cat.

I don't want to bore you with an itemized list, but like 2,000 US dollars would get me through September and October without being worried about it like every 3 minutes. My rent is 700 and change, if you would like to know that. So I'm looking for like September and October rent and money to renew my driver's license, pay a few utility bills, buy a bag of cat food, and refill my medications.

If you have the notion to toss help at an internet pal or the extended reblogged acquaintance of an Internet pal, as is more likely the case, probably, that would be super rad of you.

I'm an artist! You could get things with images on them from me! I sell buttons, prints, and commissioned illustrations if that's your thing. My commissions are going a bit slow as of late - I only recovered from being not really able to walk like 2 months ago, and so I'm doing a lot of catch up like everywhere else in my whole life and trying not to spend too much time at a desk since it aggravates the spine thing that was the problem in the first place.

To be honest, it would be a greater help to me to just receive some Aid rather than full-on commissions, but I completely understand feeling fishy about people getting something for nothing and also feeling bad for being a charity case on the internet, so I'm not opposed! If you want to chat about that, I have a commissions post on the side or top of my blog depending on where you're looking at this!

Ko-fi contains my buttons and is a good place to toss digital dead American presidents if that suits you. I will get hit by some PayPal fees in this process but, I'm willing to call that a call for help on the internet tax.

I promise I'm a real person and not a bot who has made up a cat and is pretending to have interests. My blog has been here since 2010! I've met people on this website in person and everything. I've had embarrassing obsessions no bot would bother coming up with. Speaking of:

Similarly to times before, I would like to be able to do something in order to feel like I have earned some kind of support, and as of my birthday last week I have resolved to try very hard in the next year to conquer my fear and absolute mortification about many of the things I make, so I will once again go digging into my archives for things I can post for you to enjoy as thanks and tribute! I also have a poll running right now to see what kind of buttons people want!

Thanks for taking a look! Be nice out there, take care of your spines!

[farfromstrange]

A small update from yours truly—and a little over sharing, so I’m putting it under the cut.

I've been in an awful mindset these past couple of weeks since I was diagnosed with PCOS. I haven’t talked about it yet because it’s hard for me to even think about. But the fatigue and the pain are getting worse again, even with the supplements I’m taking so far, and I wanted to share it with you so you know what’s going on. My doctor referred me to another doctor, but the earliest they could get me in was January. Until then, I have to deal with the symptoms on my own. I honestly thought once I knew what was wrong I’d get better, but learning that chronic illness is actually chronic is a really hard pill to swallow. It’s manageable once you figure shit out, but getting a doctor’s appointment these days and being taken seriously when you can’t stomach birth control is like the Hunger Games. You have to be really fucking insistent when you want to get things done.

I’m still slowly working my way out of my writer’s block, and I'm proud of myself for getting there. I'm trying not to set expectations for myself and just take it one day at a time, which is working so far. I think I’m writing more consciously now, too. As someone who needs to create because she has too many thoughts it can get frustrating to burn out so quickly, but at least I’m starting to have fun with writing again (thanks to the DDBA trailer I’m still not over and it’s been idk how long you guys feel me).

On a slightly better note though, and the reason I’m writing this is that I’ve been spending the past two weeks since my last post preparing for vacation. I’m flying to Croatia on Sunday for a few days, which I very much need after the year I’ve had so far. I’m taking the time to recharge before I have another module exam at the end of September. So, I probably won’t be posting a lot the next two weeks, BUT I am writing. I just don’t have enough time to edit anything to the point I can comfortably post it. I will, however, use the time I have to catch up on some reading and do some reblogging. It’s a good use of my flight time, plus my parents will be driving back so I’ll have twelve hours to kill in the car. And who knows, maybe I can finish at least one update before I have to head to the airport. Just wanted to let you know that I’m not gone again, I just really need that vacation before I have my last exam this semester. After that, I have almost three weeks of nothing, which means I'll be able to focus on myself, my health, and my writing.

I’m also writing this to tell you guys I will definitely be participating in Kinktober again this year, though I decided to put a little twist to it. Last year was fun, but I want to do it a little differently this time. I’m currently working something out, and the announcement will come sometime in the next couple of weeks!

Maybe a different climate will give me some more writing inspiration, too. Thank you guys for reading this far. Take care of yourselves 🤍

[kimetsu-chan]

~Zeno Headcanons~

A/N: headcanons for my lovely wife, @larz-barz! I will probably add to these every now and then, I’ll reblog it when I do!

It is no secret that Zeno is tall

Like, man is a giant

A whole 6’1”(or 6’2”, I can’t remember-)

Point I’m trying to make is, he likes to carry people around

Like, even if the person is taller than him or the same height, he will swoop up behind them and carry the bridal style

He also likes putting people on his shoulders

Especially kids

OH MY GOSH HE LOVES KIDS

He has no siblings, so when he interacts with young children, he gets really happy

He wants to have at least 2-3 kids so they won’t grow up lonely like he did

Zeno lore drop? 👀

Zeno has a very weak immune system, which was the cause of most of his loneliness

Super big lore drop, Zeno has lymphoma—

Its minor though, it doesn’t hinder him much besides making him get sick a lot

But his parents didn’t want to have more kids in case they had lymphoma too

And since he was sick often, he wasn’t allowed to play with other kids much as to not get them sick either

OKAY THAT’S ENOUGH ZENO LORE FOR TODAY-

TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR HIS ✨ MOMMY ISSUES ✨

*Ahem-*

ANYWAYS-

Zeno’s favorite food is Zosui, a Japanese rice soup!

He likes it because he learned to make it from a very young age (like… 9?) and his cousin taught him how to cook it

Zeno is very good at household chores. He cooks fairly often, even more so when he becomes a demon slayer since he’s out on his own

He also enjoys cleaning, finding the process rather satisfying

He also sewed his haori himself!

Zeno took a collection of fabric of his two favorite colors, and turned them into a haori

So in conclusion, the man is good housewife material

Someone better wife him up rn

*AHEM* Larz *AHEM*

….. yall hear smth?

Moving on, Zeno obviously is a very teasing dude

He LOVES to tease the living daylights outa people

Whether that be flirtatiously or not

But he is also, ✨ easily flustered ✨

Perfect combo, I know 😎

He’ll tell someone how cute/handsome/gorgeous they are without breaking a sweat

But the moment they throw it right back at him, he is suddenly a very blushy blushy boy o////o

He’d freeze for a few seconds then probably rub the back of his neck, a habit of his

OH YEAH

HE ALSO HAS VERY WARM HANDS

Larz can confirm, this is in one of our rps

His hands are like little heating packets

Oh, you’re shivering? Zeno to the rescue 🤩

GOSH IM RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS-

Zeno is a very pretty sleeper

Bro looks majestic in his sleep and I have a photo to prove it.

:>

Also yeah, he got some long lashes

Bro is just pretty 24/7

One thing that really irks Zeno, is when he gets accused of being a player/fboy bc of his personality

And yes, this has happened before

He was jokingly flirting with Aoi when he was helping her buy groceries and some random lady from the street stomped up to him and started lecturing him to “not play with a young lady’s heart”

Yeah-

Zeno has his own house(ik, weird for a 17yo)

But he stays there the days/nights he doesn’t have missions

He lives alone(poor lonely bby 😢) but likes to have people over often

He also likes to cook large portions of food and take them to the elderly people who live in his village, that way they get a free meal and they don’t have to eat alone(if they live alone)

He’s just a cutie patootie + bbg

A/N: THATS ALL FOR NOW, ILL ADD MORE WHEN I THINK OF THEM!

[youredreamingofroo]

a bit of a message talking about inactivity and my possible hiatus. I dont know if this counts as a cw but i talk about depression here and there at the beginning (nothing graphic) and as usual, its a rant

im gonna be straight honest rn, i'm probably not gonna be active on tumblr for these next few days, ive been super up and down depressed and im just unmotivated and too tired to do anything, im still gonna check in here and there but dont expect me to reblog or reply to many posts, if at all. This could mark the beginning of a hiatus, but with mood swings and up and down depression, i could be back, active as ever tomorrow. Ever since ive uninstalled Sims 4, i did feel a weight lift off my shoulders, but simultaneously made me depressed due to the lack of... well... doing something, i dont... really know how to put it into words, its just something in my brain that i just cant explain, i guess a good way to put it is playing sims 4 gave me the motivation to stem off into other mediums, blender for example, gave me something to do, something to learn, and while i can still use blender, i just get progressively slower and slower at doing stuff in it because of my limited resources, some scenes i want to do require specific outfits and i dont have the facilities to make those outfits... i mean i probably do but i just dont feel motivated to do all that. I still play other games, ive been playing a lot of slime rancher 2 and have been trying to branch out to other games (indie games and bigger games), I want to post gameplay but if youve seen me rant about tumblr before, one of my biggest gripes is just how fucking annoying it is to upload images, so i just get completely unmotivated to post images/gameplay especially if its just some silly post. if uh if anyone is still reading this, ill be honest, i havent even been motivated to write about WAS at all, probably havent touched the planning doc in about 2 weeks. This... 'spiral'... has been noticeable for me for the last week as my sleep schedule gets swapped around from sleeping at night and awake during the day... to sleeping during the day and awake at night, this is all my fault, but its also just something that happens rotationally for me, i go from sleeping VERY early in the evening (6PM at the earliest) and waking at VERY early times in the morning (4AM at the latest) to sleeping VERY late in the morning (6AM at the earliest) and waking up late in the evening (3PM at the latest), i dont really know what causes the shift, but it happens, and i often blame myself for it even though i dont know what causes it...

anyways sorry, this will probably mark a very iffy hiatus, like i said ill be active but not... super active, i didnt check tumblr at all yesterday/monday, so thats kind of the pattern to expect from me depending on the day. In the meantime... i might try to get back into older sims games, ive mentioned this before, but i do have sims 1 on my laptop so maybe ill post stupid little gameplay posts from there (granted i havent played in like... a month 😐). I'll probably put up a poll after this post for people to vote on which sims game i should play- i KNOW i did it once before but im probably gonna do it again cuz i cant find the post and i have over 1000 posts 😭

if you read thus far, thank you for sticking around, if your a random person who read this for no reason... thanks? if your a follower of mine and cant understand where im coming from with this lengthy post, see yourself out or deal with it 🙃 otherwise, thank you all and i will be lurking about

[humanbug]

Someone else? pt. 4

Tommy and Joel discover another immune person.

a/n: this will probably be the last part...i said that last time but idk maybe ill change my mind again. i don't loveee this one but i kinda had writers block. again thank you for all the interaction!!! it makes me want to keep writing! as always feel free to comment your thoughts and dont be afraid to send me requests about what i should write next! reblogs are also appreciated!! enjoy!!!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

The sun was beginning to lower in the sky as you made your way to the couch. You smile as the scene before you seemed too good given the shit-hole of a world you lived in. You had a roof over your head, clean hair, several blankets surrounding you, a mug of tea, and music playing softly on the record player. 

Ellie was out on patrol tonight and wasn’t expected to be back until early morning. You felt nervous spending the night alone but already felt like such a burden living in her home and her taking care of you. She would constantly be giving you reassurance opposing the very idea of being a burden but the fear was still there. 

As you snuggle into the blanket nest you’ve made on the couch your mind wanders to the conversation you had with Ellie this morning. She had let you know that Tommy had found a place for you to live on your own but if you wanted to keep living with her that you could. It had been on your mind all day.

‘Do I want to live alone? I haven’t…ever lived alone? God, the very thought makes me nauseous. That’s so pathetic. Fuck this shouldn’t be such a hard decision-’ Your thoughts are interrupted by a knock at the door. You sit up, frozen, heart racing. Another knock sounds followed by a soft voice calling your name. Dina? You had gotten to meet her about a week ago but what was she doing at your door this late?

Walking to the door with a blanket around your body you open it to see Dina standing there.

“Hey! Can I come in? It’s freezing but I wanna ask you something!” She asks with a gentle smile.

Stepping aside, she walks in rubbing her hands over her arms to warm herself up. 

“Uh…what’s up Dina?” You shift nervously on your feet.

She smiles warmly at you, “Jesse and I are planning on hanging out at the Tipsy Bison tonight. We thought we’d ask you to join us. I know Ellie is on patrol tonight and thought you might enjoy some company!” 

“Oh! Um- I mean- I dunno. I mean, yeah? Yeah! I’ll join you guys.” You stutter out. Anxiety filling your body to the brim. It couldn’t hurt to go out. You had basically been a hermit the last few weeks anyway, only going out for some meals and to the medic building a few days ago to get your stitches removed. Besides Ellie won’t be back ‘till the morning anyway and you’d probably get bored soon just sitting around the house.

“Yes! Oh I’m so happy! I’ll wait outside for you to get dressed and we’ll walk over.” She grins in excitement, already easing your anxiety at her eagerness to spend time with you. 

Changing into jeans and a long sleeve shirt, slipping one of Ellie’s hoodies over. Slipping on your boots you look into the small mirror, smoothing your hands over your hair anxiously. 

‘Deep breaths! Just be cool. It’s not a big deal and whatever you do, do not mention your…injury.’ You give yourself a pep talk and before you can psych yourself out you swing the door open and step outside. 

Walking over to the Tipsy Bison together, you two make small talk. You learn that Dina has lived in Jackson for about three years and that she and Jesse are dating. She asks about you and Ellie’s relationship and your face burns and you ramble out, “Relationship!? Oh, I- We aren’t- She just took me in because Tommy asked her too! I don’t- She’s not- I’m- I’m pretty sure I am more of a thorn in her side than anything.”

Dina looks over at you, giving you a knowing smile as you ramble. “I mean, if you insist! I see the way she looks at you and trust me, if someone is a thorn in Ellie’s side she…doesn’t hesitate to let them know. That girl has no filter and is the worst at hiding facial expressions.” She laughs out. 

Before you can ramble out even more about what a pest you’ve been to Ellie you are walking through the doors of the bar. The building is warm, both in temperature and in ambiance. The room is dim with warm lighting, there is a large bar covering one side and tables and chairs made out of old wooden barrels along the opposite wall. There are a decent amount of people around causing your anxiety to sky rocket, still not being used to being around so many people all the time. 

The two of you join Jesse at the table in the corner of the bar. Noticing that he has a game of scrabble ready to be played, your face lights up at the thought of playing a board game. You couldn’t even remember the last time you could enjoy something as simple as a board game. 

—

“Shvitz is a word goddamnit! It’s a word! Twenty one points! Write ‘em down!” Dina shouts at Jesse.

“Fine! Fine but only because I am feeling kind…because it’s not a word.” Jesse concedes causing Dina to give him the middle finger. Dina leans over the table to watch and make sure Jesse gives her the correct amount of points.

You are laughing so hard that your cheeks hurt. The two of them had been arguing over every other word played and it never seemed to get old. Realizing that you're starting to get a small headache from laughing so hard you look over to the bar wondering if you should ask for water. 

‘C’mon don’t be a baby. Just get up and ask!’ You think to yourself.

Taking a deep breath you rise up and walk over to an empty standing spot. Making eye contact with the bar-tender and giving him a small smile just to get his attention you patiently wait for your turn. Leaning against the bar and fiddling with your fingers, your shoulders square and a chill runs down your back and the sudden intrusion of your personal space. Turning around slightly you see a young man standing…way too close looking down at you. A smug smirk on his face.  

Giving him a tight lipped smile you try to scoot past him abandoning the idea of getting water however he places his arm on the bar in front of you becoming painfully invasive of your personal space, that stupid smoke growing as if he won something.

“Excuse me…please move.” You mumble.

“Aw c’mon now. Don’t run off like a scared little kitten. I’m just tryin’ to talk to you.” He jeers. 

‘Oh my god. Oh my god. Please just move.”

Giving an uncomfortable smile, not wanting to anger him, “I- I’m okay. Really.” You begin to take a step back but he places a hand way too low on your back.

“And what’s a little thing like you gonna do if I don’t, hm?” His voice takes a mocking tone.

“Please- Please just-” You are cut off by the man being violently shoved off of you. Gasping you press yourself against the bar as you see Ellie getting in the man's face.

“You put your fucking hands on her!? Huh!? Fucking answer me. You were so fucking cocky ten seconds ago!” She says inches from his face.

‘Ellie!? What the fuck!?’ 

You see her rear her hand back in a fist but before you can think you rush forward to stop her. This needs to stop, she got her point across. Grabbing the back of her jacket you pull her attention towards you. 

“Ellie! Please stop. C’mon you got your point across. Please!” You say desperately. 

As her attention shifts to you, her gaze softens into worry. Grabbing your hand she rushes out of the bar with you stumbling behind her.

Dina and Jesse are rushing behind you two.

“Ellie! Ellie, stop! What the fuck?” Dina is shouting at her. 

As the four of you step into the cold, Ellie turns around keeping you behind her. You keep your head down feeling downright mortified.

“Me ‘what the fuck!? What the fuck were you thinking taking her out? Did you even see that sleaze touching her? Huh!?” She seethes.

You mumble out, “It’s not their fault Ellie please…”

Jesse steps forward holding a hand out to Ellie, “Christ, Ellie take a breath!”

“I just-” She takes a deep breath, “I just panicked okay? I got back from patrol early and she wasn’t home and I just panicked, okay?” She rushes out, regret settling deep in her bones.

Looking over at you apologetically Dina sighs, “We’re sorry for not seeing that creep. We just wanted to invite you out and really didn’t think some perv was gonna try something.”

Feeling so embarrassed you almost cry as you rush out, “Please! Please don’t apologize! I had so much fun, really.” Turning to look at Ellie, “I’m okay, I promise. Please don’t be mad at them Ellie.” You give your best puppy dog eyes to her.

Running a hand over her face, she huffs out a breath, “I can’t be mad when you’re looking at me like that…I didn’t mean to freak out. I didn’t mean to ruin you guys’ night either.” Regret laced in her tone.

“Can we hang out again tomorrow night! Please!” You ask everyone, hoping to ease the tension. Really hoping they agree so you can spend more time together. Feeling overjoyed at the feeling of normalcy that Jackson has given you. You got to go to a bar and play board games, never in your life did you think that you would be able to have that kind of fun. 

The tension dissipates from the air as Dina grins ear to ear, “Of course, Tipsy Bison tomorrow at seven!” She beams with almost as much excitement as you.  

–

As you both walk back to the house there’s a tension that lulls in the air. Neither of you can figure out what to say to the other. You bite your lip in anxiety and kick stones on the ground as you shuffle along. 

‘Fuck it! Just say it! Say it!’

“I don’t want to live alone!” You rush out, your cheeks turning red, not giving her a chance to respond you ramble on, “I- I’ve never lived alone and- you make me feel safe and I- If you are totally sick of living with me I understand- so don’t hesitate to tell me-”

“I’d like that. For you to keep living with me.” She cuts off your rambling, making you look at her with wide eyes. 

“Really?” You practically whisper. Not believing what you heard. 

“Really.” She assures as she unlocks the front door. 

You toe off your shoes and flop down on the bed and she leans on the edge of her desk, fiddling with her fingers. Silence falls over the two of you again.

Feeling confident at Ellie’s lack of rejection of your confession, you take a deep breath and move to stand in front of her. Upon sensing your movement she glances at you as you step forward and take her face in your hands, pressing your lips to hers.

She stills for a second before returning the kiss with fervor. Placing her hands low on your waist she pulls you flush to her body. She runs her tongue along the seam of your lips, asking for entrance and you give it to her without hesitation. Ellie’s grip on your waist tightens as she begins to stand, lips still molded onto yours. Needing air you pull back, not expecting her to keep kissing across your cheek and down your jaw you whine. She lets out a chuckle at your sound and guides you backward, bodies still pressed together. 

The back of your knees meet the bed and you fall onto it with a small gasp. She pulls back, leaning over you with her hands on either side of you, she presses her forehead to yours. 

“I want to keep you safe.” She whispers, almost as if she’s afraid of what she’s saying. Placing your hands on either side of her jaw you look into her eyes.

“I’d really like that.” You whisper back.

taglist:

@daddysfavoritesexkitten

[rizaposting]

bff help 😭😭😭😭 i look up to you so much (and a lot of other royai/riza fan artists, but you seem the most friendly) and i wanna start posting my own riza art, but im scared ill be booed off the app 😭 any advice for first time fma artists? 🥺 i mostly plan on just making riza fanarts, a little riza x oc, stuff like that. thank you 💕

WAAAHH anon you're so sweet!! First and foremost GRABS YOU you should absolutely post your Riza art! Everyone should post Riza art forever because I'm starving and slurp it up. But you should ALSO post it because it's fun to create and share with people! No one is going to boo you off of the platform, and frankly if anyone tries to they probably need to take a long walk in nature and say hi to some people they pass on the street.

As far as advice, the biggest thing is to try to avoid the "# notes = success/good quality" thinking. It's totally natural to want feedback, and Internet Validation Numbers is encouraging! But if you post something and it doesn't immediately get attention, don't beat yourself up about the quality of your work. Some of my favorite pieces (drawings and writing) are "flops", but I try not to let that discourage me or sour how I feel about them. Sometimes it's just bad luck with timing; or good luck, oppositely

Okay now for more technical advice:

Schedule your posts on tumblr. I usually schedule my art to post at 7:30pm EST kind of arbitrarily, it feels like a good compromise of time zones. Please do know that you might flashbang yourself with your art every time (I do lmfao)

Reblog your work again the next day; mix up your timing and don't be afraid to do a few self-reblogs.

Tag your posts thoughtfully but not excessively, afaik only the first 5 tags are will be where it shows up (EDIT: apparently I'm thinking of 2014 tumblr and it's now the first 30 tags! But I would also posit you absolutely will never fucking need 30 tags. Over tagging will not help, so only tag what's relevant). Series name and acronyms, character name(s), and ship name are good. Also include a tag that you put on all your art so you and others can find it easily!

Comedy usually has more reach. People love silly memes and shitposts and frankly who can blame them! That's not to say serious posts don't also get attention, but just something I noticed

HAVE FUN!!!! this sounds so patronizing, but honestly it's best to do things that appeal to you and have fun with likeminded people. Your passion and enjoyment with telegraph through your work and it will make people smile!!!

I also just want to say that a lot of other Rizalikers are super friendly!!! It can be intimidating to talk to people, but we're all just freaks on the internet rotating a fictional character in our heads. The best way to get to know people is just to reach out and comment on their art/writing/silly posts. It doesn't need to be anything crazy! You can also join fandom discord servers to talk to them on a more casual (and frankly easier) platform, with less pressure because it's less 1-on-1. If you want to DM them (discord or tumblr) def go for it, but I would recommend against just saying "hi!" and then not following it up with anything else, because then I just go "hi!" and then I don't know how to push the conversation forward lol

I would love to see your creations and hear your Rizathoughts, Anon! I believe in you! I hope you decide to come play with us in this rizaspace. Feel free to message me off anon or send me a DM if you want to chat :]

[eveninglottie]

state of the charlie 2024

hello babes I know I've been quiet on here for a while, so I figured I would update y'all on some things I'm doing soon because while normally it would be bad if I were quiet, it's actually quite good! I've been having like, a weirdly great start to my year, and while I have been hibernating for the past two months I am gearing up to overextend myself soon getting back to work and I am gonna do the excruciating thing and tell you what I'm doing in the hope that you might support me (this is just the update. the begging will come later.) so, what am I doing?

first, I am going to be posting my book, wilderblood, here on tumblr! I realize that's kind of weird and silly but I feel very connected to tumblr and I am scared of trying to self-publish it right away. I also don't have the money to commission a good cover (that's part of the later begging) and I refuse to put a naked man and a moon on a generic night sky background on my cover. no shade to the people making bank with those covers but I just can't.

I will be posting it on a separate blog dedicated to the book (reblogging here, of course), so if you're interested in keeping up to date with it, you can follow me over there at wilderwolves. obviously there's nothing on there yet, but I'm going to be posting the first chapter in the next few days. I will also be restarting my patreon to hopefully make some money which would allow me to commission a gorgeous cover. also, for like. money in general. because capitalism has forced me to monetize my hobbies. patreon will get early access and bonus stuff, but the book will be free to read.

speaking of, I am also going to start making candles! super random, I know, but it's something I've always wanted to do and writing this book made me want to find something else that isn't writing that could allow me to do something fun with my hands that isn't playing final fantasy fourteen. it's called Wilder Candle and I'm gonna be putting it up on etsy so if anyone wants some candles for sad girls (gender neutral) that are darker and less cheerful than other candles, that's something I am also doing. yes the candle company has the same name as the book series. yes I will eventually be making self-indulgent candles of the characters of my book. no I will not be taking any criticisms at this time.

in other, non-money things, I have recently gotten back into dming and am currently running an End of Camelot king arthur campaign that has so far been WILD and everything I could have hoped for. my players are level 20+ and the game is broken and it's great. my friends are such freaks, I love them. I am also currently ill with what is probably the flu (but not covid, thank christ) and feel like my head is going to explode, but I managed to get out of my bed today so everything's coming up charlie over here. my cats are flourishing and they're beginning to tolerate me trying to pick them up, so really 2024 is starting pretty swell.

I hope your new years are not too stressful, and I'm really excited to show you what I've been working on. <3

[maliceandvice]

Hey there... Just saw you reblog a post with tags about being unhinged with grief and how you relate except the guy being talked to in the post is your cat... You doing ok? Do you need to talk at all? If not feel free to ignore this. It's just, I've lost very special pets before and that post was so extremely accurately evocative of the worst parts of grieving over a pet and I can't NOT offer to help...

Oh, it’s very sweet of you, I appreciate it, thank you. Yeah that post kind hit the nail on the head. Yes, I lost my little special guy, Sunshine, about a month ago. I haven’t really spoken about it here since I tend to keep this account separate and quieter from my more public social media, but I’ve found talking about it does help so I don’t mind sharing and talking about him.

I got him when he was about 6 and he was fiv+, so he sat in the shelter for 6 months because no one wanted an older sick cat. Also all his teeth went bad a few months after I got him because he’d been so neglected let, so he only had 3 and was the silliest, most pathetic little gummy bear. But he was perfect. My little buddy. The sweetest guy, just wanted a bff to hold him and give him head kisses. He loved new friends and would roll over for tummy rubs from everyone he met. Never bit or scratched. Loved rolling in sun puddles and licking water out of the bathtub like a little weirdo. He slept in my arms every day, went feral for sour cream, and would tuck himself under my arm to read or play Switch together.

In January 2022 he was diagnosed with large cell GI lymphoma. We did 6 months of chemo for it. Every Friday we’d brave the traffic on the LA 101 to go to the oncologist, I’d wait for hours in the vet’s parking lot for him to finish his treatment because I wasn’t allowed in with him because of COVID, and then we’d drive back together. He was a brave little champion through the entire thing; I genuinely think his bright, happy little personality helped him through it because he just didn’t know how to feel upset or bad! That first treatment worked perfectly though so it was worth it and he went into remission for about 9 months and he was great! Happiest little guy! But it came back this April and I knew we couldn’t possibly get that lucky twice. We still tried though. But yeah, he just never responded to this second round of chemo and he declined over the last few months. Even though I was braced for it for a really long time, it still went shockingly fast at the end. He was fine one week and then just faded so quickly the next and I knew we had to say goodbye.

One the one hand, I know getting 19 more months with an fiv+ cat with a terminal illness is amazing. It’s literally unheard of. It just doesn’t happen. He defied all his early prognosis, lived months and months beyond what’s typical, and didn’t start to show he was ill right until the end. So it’s near miraculous we got so much time, I’m so grateful to all the vets who looked after him, and I’m so proud of him for being so brave and strong to stay with me for so long. But on the other, we only had about 4 years together and he deserved so much more. I know he got several lifetimes worth of love in that timespan, but it still makes me upset that he didn’t get longer since he had such a hard life before I found him. We both got shortchanged.

I’m doing…pretty rough tbh. I think I’ve cried every day for over a month. I think between the pandemic and then the intense cancer treatment we basically super trauma bonded. And also he was just the perfect little guy for me, he slotted into my life so well. So it feels like all my happiness just got ripped out of my chest. The little constant and reliable source of brightness and love in my life is just gone. I know they’re all special and perfect, but he really, really was and I know I’m never going to be able to replace that kind of bond. So I’m pretty much a huge mess.

But I’m honestly probably doing about as well as I can be. I had a long time to mentally prepare and find pet grief resources, I’m very self aware, I’ve reached out for help when I’ve needed it, and I sort of just know that like…this is what it is. It’s an inevitably and it’s the saddest I’ve ever been in my life and there’s nothing that will make it feel better and I’m probably gonna be sad about him forever so you just gotta go straight through it. You just keep goin forward in small steps, even if you’re crying the entire way.

[r2-d2-soon]

I don't usually post personal stuff. I tend to reblog funny or informative posts. I've kept most of my adult life close to my chest on here. Most of you probably know me as "Minnesota guy with a cat who loves TMBG and Turtles."

Well this last month had been a doozy of a humdinger on crap mountain. A month ago my Mom (68 years old) had a gallstone attack. The stone was blocking her bile duct and causing significant pain.

She went to the ER and they got her into surgery the next day. The doctor was wary of surgery, because my mom had cirrhosis of her liver. I'm pretty sure it was bilirubic cirrhosis, which damages the bile ducts of the liver.

After surgery she had a significant rise in amonia in her system. The liver was not doing it's job. They got her on meds to help her body expel the excess amonia and after a few days in the hospital she was getting better.

She still needed antibiotics and occupational therapy, so she was moved to Transitional Care at a nursing home. She was improving there for two weeks but last weekend she got sick and she was taken back to a local hospital.

They found her amonia level was high again and her liver was not working at all. Also her kidneys were not working and her blood pressure was very low. Doctors tried several medications to help raise her blood pressure. The meds worked but there was no way to safely get her kidneys working again. The Doctors suggested dialysis, but after my Mom's condition worsened, the doctors said that dialysis would be risky and potentially painful. It also would not increase her lifespan significantly or her quality of life.

My mom was not verbally responsive and had a DNR/DNI, so my sisters and I decided that she would not want to be risk the dialysis for a few more hours of time vs rest comfortably until she passed.

On her last day my Mom was aware and communicating due to meds that increased her blood pressure. Her brother, her cousin, several friends, my girlfriend, my sisters and their children came to say goodbye. She also met with a Catholic priest, who talked to her in private and performed the rites to make my Mom officially Catholic (my Dad was Catholic and I was born and raised Catholic). At her request.

After everyone that could make it visited my Mom, the nurse removed the medicine that was raising her blood pressure and turned off the alerts on the monitors. They said she might pass in a few hours, but my mom lasted until 845am the next morning. My girlfriend and I slept on a pull out couch. Not super comfy, but we got some sleep.

After my Mom was confirmed dead we met with a Chaplain who said several prayers over my mom. We said goodbye to her again and allowed the hospital staff to take care of her body.

My Mom was a registered organ donor, so I talked to a representative of the organ donation service. They asked me a lot of personal questions about my mom's medical, medicinal, and sexual history. They warned me about the personal nature of the questions, but I did not get upset. They were only trying to make sure she was not a drug addicted or might have Illnesses that would have prevented them from dontating her body parts to those in need. I found out some of her skin may go to help people with cleft palates or help women with breast cancer have reconstructive surgery. I am glad for the latter, since my Mom was a breast cancer survivor.

Last night was difficult. I miss her so much. I thought she had more time. She thought she had more time. She had so many plans and dreams. She wanted to write books and go to France and visit friends in the South every winter. She wanted to see her grandchildren graduate high school, and get married and have children of their own (if they wanted to do so). Some of these things I can fulfill in memory of her, but many of her stories, and her parents' stories are now lost. I am just thankful for the forty plus years we had together. I love you Mom.

[lotus-btas]

BTaS Update: May-July 2023 - Pages of Lotus

Back again after a VERY long while without an update. Sorry for that, I'm forgetful.

Let me catch you up to speed on how the progress for Beyond Time and Space has been going these past few months, where we are now, and how we'll do things moving into the future.

Starting with the past, I'm gonna be fully honest: I haven't made a lot of progress with episode 2. Towards the end of May and the entire month of June, I've been suffering some serious burnout, to the point where interacting with my work would make my physically ill and exhausted. For a while I thought about skipping episode 2 entirely and moving on to 3, but then remembered that I stopped working on ep 3 because of my dissatisfaction/change of ideas with ep 2 that mentally stopped me from moving into the next arc. I'm still semi trying to get over it, but every day I can feel my creative drive starting to kick back in. I just need to sit down, focus, and get to work, which is a lot harder these days than ever before.

I also mentioned in the past how I was gonna host a beta reading for the first episode of Beyond Time and Space on the 20th of May. That also didn't happen. Not only was I sick with a headache on the 19th of that month, but I was rushed to the hospital for treatment, and spend the 20th, 21st, 22nd, and 23rd recovering. Plus, that post got little to no interest or attraction, so making a sign up that no one would bother to mess with seemed kind of pointless.

As of the present, right now I'm working on trying to balance my energy between BTaS and my other projects and interest, to make sure that my burnout doesn't get as dangerously bad as it did in May and June. It seems to be working. None of them are making much sound progress, as I keep getting distracted by my own thoughts, but it's keeping my energy in check, which is all I need.

I also decided to start working on a pilot for Beyond Time and Space! Yeah! The one thing that I should've started with, especially because this is an animated series, I'm doing now, a full year after I wrote the first episode! Kinda ironic! I find a huge benefit of this being that I know my characters super well now, but the big disadvantage is finding something for them to do; how they can interact with this new environment that I'm putting them in for a single short episode. That's also been a little draining. Might need to brainstorm some more.

And, last but not least, going forward. My plans from this point on is to hopefully have a more consistent update schedule (every or every other Saturday, if I can remember), maybe create and show off some art made specifically for the updates, like a visual summary. I'm also working on a twitter account for Beyond Time and Space that is currently up, but probably won't have anything on it for quite a while. I'm a full believer that it's never too early to share your work, but I'm an anxious gun that needs some sort of visual content to back it up, if that makes sense.

Anyways this is really long. Apologies for that. I would add a TL;DR, but I'm kinda in a rush now because I gotta cook dinner. Just getting this out of the way beforehand (and because the time it took to write this was the same amount of time I had left before the time to cook dinner struck, so it kind of just fell in my lap). Maybe I'll include one once I reblog with the tag list.

Thanks for spending your time reading this update! Your eyes are a blessing :D

- Yors Truly

[kyra45]

prayingshadow archive post

Since the reblog I did got removed from my main account, I'll have you know I actually archived it as well! The images don't load, but you can find it here. I will also copy/paste the post contents below minus the link that would send money to the scammer. This includes the images the post originally had. Content warning for animal illness and animal death suggested though it does not happen and the story is stolen from somewhere else. I am only doing this because the scammer keeps reusing this exact cat several times over with the same exact story. The only link will go to the post of mine that explains how many accounts Kristilyn Suarez has used and the mention is to my main where the post was originally shared. The context of 'OP' here refers to the post being a reblog from prayingshadow.

This is NOT an aid post. It is an archived version of a scam post that was removed but was saved by an archive link I had done just in case the original was removed.

Long post, but the scam account deleted their blog and has been remaking it over and over. Current account is localtreelady. Please link to this post when warning people about the scam.

(icon) prayingshadow (Since deactivated)

Hey y’all, I really do hate asking for help but if its for my cat, i’d do anything

I don't even know how to start but my baby needs some emergency help. My Sven is 3 years old and my world. He has been healthy all this time up until a couple of days ago. His breathing wasn't right.. I knew something was wrong so I took him to the vet and they said he is definitely struggling and requires further testing which costs up to $250-$300 that I just can't afford because my next payday is on June 10th which is already intended for rent and groceries :((( They said he will continue to get worse and eventually die if I don't figure out what's wrong for him to be treated. The Dr said he is probably in pain because he is struggling to breathe. If anyone can help me get him these tests it would really mean the world to me 😭❤️

I tried finding cheaper in my area as I'm maxed out on CareCredit and I was denied for Scratch Pay. I also went to 4 different clinics and called 3 others all gave me close to the same price range. With it being close to the same price range I felt it was better to go with his normal vet.

My last few months have been so up and down emotionally but from the bottom of my heart I just want you all to know how much I appreciate each and every one of you.

My PayPal is linked down below, for anyone who’s going to send their love and support please consider sending it through friends and family as we would like to avoid fees as much as possible. 🙏

(Redacted link) (Go to this one: Kristilyn Suarez)

(My main blog icon I drew myself) @shadowfoxsilver (badge for commissions open) (Content below here is the reblog contents)

Ok so I know OP will block me for this but hey they didn't this time so I'll elaborate on how this is a scam.

The OP is known to go into private vet groups and save images from it and also steal stories directly from it. The names they use is fake and stolen from a real person. Now this scammer also likes to demand proof their scamming so here's further proof! The same exact post from their other accounts. They just change the cats name.

So basically, OP is a confirmed scammer and will delete/block posts that call them out. Just a psa for my followers to see before the scam account gets took down too.

[xumoonhao]

my darling mutuals...if any of you want to be tagged/mentioned in anything specific could you reply to or reblog this post w/what youd want to be tagged in? i love interacting with you guys and i feel like this is a good start <3

[sukirichi]

[ DUSK ‘TILL DAWN : 004 ]

“we who bear the burden of the crown do not need to love. you only need to stay here, with me, in power, in greed, in lust – in victory.”

c/w. explicit smut, MINORS DNI. creampie. fem! reader. modern royal au. infidelity. angst. romance. minimal fluff for this chapter. toxic characters. implications of gaslighting. unedited bcos we go down like brave souls. 

notes. reblogs / feedbacks / comments are appreciated. late update cuz i got sick ooft ALSO. to all the anons who got my girl crystals...you guys...SHE’S REALLY TRYING TO CONVINCE ME HELP

series masterlist | next 

[ FOUR ] so when you gonna tell her that we did that, too? she thinks it’s special, but it’s all reused.

Rintaro could not believe it himself. How long had he been waiting for this day, this moment? It was as if the two years and more he’d spent planning everything from the beginning disappeared in a flash. Catapulted to the end game, Rintaro stared at the throng of servants flocking in and out of the castle, their superiors ushering them to move quickly and an array of blooming flowers carried in their arms.

Today was his wedding day.

Smirking, he retreated away from his window and stood in front of his mirror.

He could still feel traces of both Iris’ and your touch lingering on his skin, the former like a soothing kiss to his nerves, while yours pulsed warmly. Angrily. Rather loudly, he would say, as if you had left your heartbeat against his skin. He scratched at his pulse point hesitantly, eyes narrowed as he recalled your lips leaving a trail of butterfly kisses there the night before when he found himself tangled in your sheets. One moment, he was professing his love to you, and the next, his assistant had received calls that Rintaro was to cancel his entire day.

When asked why, his poor assistant heard nothing but your soft moans and Rintaro’s mumbled words lost in the crevice of your thighs.

He never meant to leave. Rintaro promised himself that he would take care of you so well and never depart from your side each time you made love, yet he drove back to the Palace anyway – all over the selfish desire of seeing his beloved before he tied himself to you forever.

However, Rintaro could never expect the figure standing behind him, her doe eyes glimmering with tears from her reflection in the mirror.

“Iris,” Rintaro spun around. Walking towards Iris, he noted the restlessness clear on her face. The dark circles under her eyes told him she probably had not slept well or slept at all, and her usually painted lips were left pale and somewhat cracked. Clad in nothing but flimsy sleepwear with her nipples peeking through, Rintaro had to avert his gaze respectfully. “Angel, what are you doing here?”

Iris laughed sardonically at his question.

“I cannot visit my lover before he is wed to another?”

“You can always visit me, angel. My place is yours,” he reminded her, grabbing his coat from a nearby rack and placing it over her shoulders. The last thing he wanted was for her to catch a cold on the most important day of his life. “But this is quite risky. Did anyone see you coming here?”

“I did not see anyone. I made sure it would just be me,” Iris shook her head, teeth gnawing on her bottom lip. “Rintaro...it is not too late for you to back out on this wedding. You can make an excuse of falling ill. The public would not mind, and the Queen would have no choice—”

Rintaro chuckled, the sound falling in confusion as his hands slid down to her arms. “Were you not the one telling me to go ahead with this? What is troubling you now, Iris? Tell me.”

A myriad of emotions crossed her features. Iris took a step back, her gaze dropping to her shoes as her voice dropped a few pitches. When she spoke, Rintaro could hear how her heartbeat was louder than her words.

“Your Highness...you are to marry another woman. I will watch from the sidelines and act as if I am happy for you when I am not. What shall I do when you kiss her? What shall I do when you recite your vows to her, to love her and hold her forever? Am I to look away? Am I to pretend it does not break me on the inside?” she finally snapped her gaze back to him, “I know I do not make sense, Your Highness. I say one thing and mean another, but it kills me on the inside – the thought you might truly fall for your soon-to-be wife.”

Fall for you? Rintaro would have laughed if that was impossible. But he knew it too. He knew he could fall in love with you, he wanted to fall in love with you. Why would he not? Not only were you perfect, but you were available. He could be with you in ways he could not be with Iris. But be that as it may be, it did not change a thing that you would never be Iris.

You would never be his first love.

Grabbing her by the shoulders, Rintaro arched lower to raise a brow at his worried lover. “Iris. Look at me.” She did, hesitantly so, slim fingers playing with the ends of her dress. “Do you doubt my devotion for you?”

“I am anxious she might not allow me to be your concubine.”

“She is not the future King, that is not for her to decide,” he reminded her, gesturing to the expanse of the room decorated in gold and hanging chandeliers. “Everything I am doing, it is all for you, Iris. For us. Do not doubt me when I am so close to being yours. I will finally free you from my brother, and we will no longer have to hide in the shadows. So fret no more, alright? The future Queen shan’t threaten you.”

Sighing, Iris’ shoulders relaxed.

“Forgive me, Your Highness. My worries got the best of me.”

“And I shall alleviate them afterward,” he reassured with a lingering kiss on her forehead, both of their eyes fluttering shut as they were once again enveloped in each other’s presence. Until all too soon, a knock from outside his door made him freeze. Pulling away, Rintaro watched his lover with hope shining in his eyes. “We must go. We cannot stay here any longer; the Lady might arrive to greet me a good morning. Just wait for me for a bit longer, Iris. I will be with you momentarily.”

Iris, such the sweet woman she was, turned to leave.

Rintaro hated that sight the most – of having to witness the one he loved walk away from him, even if she was not truly leaving. Every day he woke up, he had the same fears. He could not shake away the feeling that Iris might not want him someday, that time would come she would grow tired of them fighting for their love and she would choose to let go.

Seeing her turn her back to him, to watch as her figure disappeared in one of the hidden doors in his room that led to the underground escape lobby, with barely a glance spared his way, Rintaro felt his chest tighten.

He loved her. He loved her way too much it weighed heavily on his bones, and he grew restless in fear he could try his best, he could fight with all his might, but the true enemy here was not the law nor the customs he had to go against. No, Rintaro’s greatest enemy was Iris herself. For if she ever did come to choose to work out her marriage with Kiyoomi, or if she lost trust in the promises and the future Rintaro had laid out for her, then what was to become of him? What would he do...should she ever leave him? What would his future look like when he only saw one that had Iris in it?

Whatever the answer may be, Rintaro never quite figured out.

Soon, his servants were piling in the room with his clothes laid out for him, a pair of arms leading him into the bath before Iris’ scent completely disappeared in the vicinity.

He just hoped that all of this would be worth it. He prayed that Iris would still want him, no matter what came their way. Because Rintaro was willing to fight, to hurt, to pretend to love another, to spew lies, and to create his laws for his selfish gain – the only thing he asked for in return was to have his love and devotion be reciprocated the way he desperately needed it.

Rintaro wishes he had not been nosy.

After he’d been dressed to the nines, dark hair gelled back perfectly to reveal his handsome features and forehead, he had unknowingly walked to where he knew you would be getting ready. He blamed it on the anxiety that ate away at him. Too used to the comfort you provided each time he felt troubled, his feet naturally drifted to outside your room, hands lingering on the doorknob until he heard you laughing with your mother.

It snapped him back to reality.

Your laugh...he would be lying if he said he did not find it beautiful. Everything about you was mesmerizing. Is that not why he enjoyed your presence all this time? The fraction of affection he held for you, was that not why he opened up and entrusted his heart into your palms?

Yet, hearing it now, it just dawned on him how unfair he had been. To drag you into marriage when he had been keeping secrets from you, to lie straight to your face while you told him nothing but the truth and revealed even the parts of you that you hated most. But he was desperate to be perfect in your eyes that he slowly backed away, jaw tightening at the mess his mind was in.

He no longer had a proper sense of where he was going before he ended up in Belleview Manor.

Pushing the doors open, he glared at the servants who jumped in surprise at his arrival. One glance at him and they all scurried out.

The occurrence of Rintaro dropping by Belleview Manor to be with Iris was no longer new to them, and the servants gave them privacy as Rintaro took two steps at a time until he reached their room. The room in which a queen-sized bed lay in the middle, under a large portrait of Iris and Kiyoomi smiling stiffly at the artist, their golden wedding bands glimmering even with the flat colors.

He wondered if this was how Iris felt. Jealousy, possessiveness, greed.

He should have been the one in that painting when Iris wore white.

Gasping at the figure looming at the edge of her bed, Iris quickly swatted away the hands of her lady servant helping her fix her dress. The servant squeaked at the sight of Rintaro before she bowed past him, scuffling out the door and leaving Rintaro to stalk over Iris with trembling hands and an uncomfortable tent in his pants.

“Your Highness! You should be at the waiting room – what if Her Lady comes looking for you? It is barely half an hour before your wedding, my Prince.”

“She is swarmed by the servants. They are making sure she looks perfect for today; she won’t be leaving her room any sooner.”

“They dote on her that much?”

He didn’t respond right away. Rintaro only stopped in his tracks the moment Iris was a breath away from him, hands coming up to rest at her neck and the other pulling her in close by the waist. His lips lost in hers, her soft breaths in his ears. He could stay here forever.

“She is the future Queen and today’s bride. If there is anyone who must be the most beautiful today, it is her. Not a single flaw in sight – not that I could care,” he laughed on the column of Iris’ neck, guiding her to their bed until the back of her knees hit the edge. Rintaro effortlessly caught her. “I chose her knowing she has always been the most perfect candidate. She need not any more work done on her.”

Before Iris could say anything else, Rintaro began kissing her feverishly. Iris gasped upon the unusual hurriedness of his touch, too used to him taking his time worshipping her body instead of impatiently pawing at her breasts. Not that any of them minded, and Rintaro sure as hell knew Iris was not complaining. For when he ghosted his hands under her dress, his palm met nothing but the wetness of her arousal pressing into his skin, cunt sopping with just a few kisses in its way.

“Y-Your Highness! Right now?”

“Right fucking now, my angel. ‘Need to feel you one last time before I am promised to her.”

“But my dress—”

“Just lift them for me. I won’t ruin it.”

Albeit hesitant, Iris lifted her dress, her moves practiced as she bent over the bed with only her stilettos left dangling at the edge.

Unbuckling his belt, Rintaro freed his cock from its confines and groaned. The relief he felt from finally fucking his fist barely felt like a reward when his hands were met with Iris’ pantyhose, eliciting an annoyed grunt from him. His hands itched to just tear it apart. But he did make a promise, and he had to make this quick, so he yanked the material down as gently as he could before rubbing his tip along her lips. The action caused both of them to moan, Iris’ sounds turning choked when he pushed his way in.

Rintaro held her firmly by the waist. Bullying his way into her core, he lifted one of her legs to make her feet plant on the mattress, giving him more access to the heat that sucked him in. He threw his head back as he was lost in the pleasure. Nearly losing all thoughts of you, and he was so close to forgetting you when he remembered his wedding was nearly minutes away.

You were probably looking for him right now, yet here he was, inches deep inside his girlfriend.

Unaware that he was fucking his frustrations into Iris, Rintaro’s eyes widened at the sound of her echoing moans. He did not care if Kiyoomi could hear, seeing as Iris’ husband was seldom by her side. But Rintaro still leaned forward to slap a palm on Iris’ mouth to muffle her screams and whimpers, trying her best to be quiet as if the loud slapping of his balls on her cunt and the squelching of her pussy was not resonating all over the place.

“Hush, angel. Hush. There are new servants outside.”

“C-Close!” her words were garbled behind his hand as were Rintaro’s final grunts. Falling on her elbows from the exhaustion, her back arched perfectly for Suna, the lewdness of her figure and her unbridled mewls driving him to the edge.

The sex was so intense, rushed, and frantic he felt like his cock would go limp as he shot his load. Scowling, Rintaro slapped her bum just to relish in the harsh redness appearing on the supple skin, the impact as the last force that pushed Iris to cum all around his cock until a cream was formed at the base.

Rintaro felt so filthy. He wanted to both wash himself of his sins and to fuck her harder.

And with conflict on his mind, he followed the primal voice in him that always triumphed over logic, pulling out his spent cock just to shove two fingers inside her. Iris groaned before she spun around to face him, to which Suna responded by making sure his cum would stain her black, lacy underwear until the end of this day. 

“This should remind me of you when I am walking down the aisle,” he gritted his teeth, leaning over to capture her lips one last time. 

There, Rintaro broke his promise as he intentionally smudged her lipstick, retracing his fingers before snapping her panties back to her swollen cunt. “Soon, you will be mine.”

How you woke up alone with Rintaro’s side of the bed empty, you no longer questioned. You were slowly beginning to accept that it would probably always be like this – where Rintaro seduces you and blinds you with sweet nothing’s the moment you show signs of discovering the ugly truth masked behind that beautiful face, only to wake up with nothing but the harsh reminder he was never yours, to begin with. It was not easy to accept he did not love you. Not when being with him was the happiest you ever felt, or how you still believed maybe he was honest when he called you his lover with those sleepy eyes and hoarse voice at three in the morning when it seemed like it was just you and him.

But looking at you now, with lips painted a grand shade of red with a tiara worn only by those honored enough to be a royal, wearing the uncomfortably revealing wedding dress he chose for you, it all came to one conclusion: this was now your time to leave.

You were not married to him yet. You still had time to walk away, to remove this ring he placed on your finger that choked you up, to forget everything and start anew.

It was not too late, but if you walked away now, it would be too late to be with him again. If you walked away now, there was a chance Rintaro might not run after you, and you would lose him permanently. You would no longer have someone to be with in the quietest hours of the morning when you felt loneliest. He would not kiss your hand anymore while calling you beautiful and looking at you deep in the eyes. To forget him, you would have to burn all the photographs you’d taken with him, all framed in the corner of your room that you dedicated just for the Prince.

It hurt to hold on, but it hurt more to let go of the one you loved most.

Even if you did leave him for your good, what would happen next? You could not love anybody else. You wanted no one else but him, and in a way, he wanted you too. It could not have been that bad even if you knew it was. Maybe...just maybe, if you tried working out with him, there would be no need to let him go.

Maybe he could still fall in love with you genuinely this time.

You convinced yourself endlessly that you were doing the right thing by fighting for your love, for following your heart, and in the blink of an eye, the doors had opened.

You were walking down the aisle.

At the end of it was the man you loved most, Suna Rintaro, who looked painfully dashing in his tailored suit and brushed back hair. He laughed with his brothers standing behind him, fixing his cuffs and smiling until his gaze landed on you. Just like that, the entire cathedral fell silent. You could focus on nothing else but him, unaware that you had at least a thousand pairs of eyes admiring the way you took your first step towards him as if pulled by a magnetic force. You were always drawn to him, always pulled by his presence and his soft smile that melted you on the insides.

You loved him. You loved him so much you could not love anybody else.

And with each step you take, the tears just flowed down your cheeks. You cried your heart out because how long had you fantasized this day in your head, to experience a time where you promise yourself to another? Only to fall for the wrong person. Only for the man you were about to marry to be someone else who loved another, yet you could not bring it in yourself to turn away and leave.

Because if you looked from the sides, if you listened hard enough, you could hear the people rejoicing. You could see your parents crying from their seats at how proud they were of you. Princess Maiko gazed up at you with admiration and the hope you experienced the happy marriage she had always wanted but never got.

The citizens of Inarizaki called out your name as  Princess. The entire country could not wait for you to be their Queen, and you did not want to disappoint despite the heartbreak you were causing upon yourself.

For the sake of the country, you had to be brave. Duty before love. People before heart.

Or were you still just trying to give yourself more reasons to stay? But then again, why would you want to leave? Now that you stood in front of the Prince, you could see nothing but genuine awe written on his face. He was stunned speechless as his dark gaze studied you from head to toe, his lips curling at the sides and beaming so wide you wondered if he listened to the priest at all.

“Today, we gather to witness the union of Lady Y/N Yuzuru and His Highness, the Sixth Prince, Suna Rintaro, on this blessed day. From this day forth, the Kingdom will see our people prosper. Our Prince and his wife, to grant us future heirs, all for the future of Inarizaki.”

“To the Prince! To the Princess!” the crowd cheered loud and clear, so much so that it boomed even outside the walls of the cathedral where thousands of the people gathered on this day to be marked in history.

“You may now recite your vows.”

It was now or never. Now was the best time to refuse, to say no into Rintaro’s awaiting face and tell him you deserved better. If you lost this chance, you might never be able to find your freedom ever again.

With shaky hands, you allowed him to hold your hands between your bodies, about to pull away from him the second it dawned on you he never loved you.

He never loved you, he never will, and he was only using you for his benefit. He was going to hurt you, and you would never be the one he truly wanted – “I, Y/N Yuzuru, hereby vow to be your loyal wife – to have, to hold, to be your shoulder to lean on when you feel weak. I will hold you in my arms when you crumble and build a pillar so strong we will never fall again. I vow to be yours, now and forever, with undying loyalty. Obedience. Submission. Love. I vow that my next breath will be spent loving you until my last,” – but you wanted him. You wanted him so bad your mind slowly spiraled into insanity as you recited your vows, breathing heavily at the shock it was over.

It was done. You could never leave him now.

The thought was both terrifying and calming because there was no hint of regret in Rintaro’s face. His expression warmed upon your declaration of love for the entire world to witness. The tables had been turned and soon you were the one turning deaf at the voices of others, focused only on him and the tantalizing movement of his lips that would kiss you every time you felt lost.

You couldn’t tell whether you wanted him to kiss you at that moment or not. Not when he was looking at you like you were his everything, looking at you like you were the only person in the room and his vows were tender in comparison to your strong, devout ones.

Whence you promised yourself to him like it was a promise you would hold onto with all your might, he recited his vow like loving you was a secret he needed to keep.

“I, the Sixth Prince of Inarizaki, Suna Rintaro, hereby vow to be your loving husband – to have, to hold, to be the hand you hold when you tread into uncharted territory. I will be the light to guide you in your darkest days. I will be your friend when you need it most – to share laughter with, to make memories with, and to be forever devoted with. Today, I vow to take you as my wife with undying care. Affection. Support. Love. I wow that my next breath—” 

And there it was. 

His eyes that only had you in its center eventually drifted to another woman from the background, gaze locking with a smiling Iris, the two of them so lost in their love for one another they never noticed the way your face fell. 

“—will be spent loving you, and only you, until my last. I am yours forever and always, no matter who gets in our way.”

By the time the priest had announced for Rintaro to kiss his bride, you stood numbly. Letting him unfold your veil and cup your cheeks as he slowly leaned forward. The kiss felt empty, and you did not kiss him back, unable to when his eyes were still peeled open to someone else that was not you.

As soon as your lips locked and he pulled away, the crowd celebrated in glee. Rintaro twisted his torso to face them while holding your hand, his smile turning confused when you forced a smile and echoed his words. Only this time, your vow held nothing but pain.

“I am yours forever and always, no matter who gets in our way.”

The hours passed by into the night without your recognition.

Too much happened all at once you barely noticed the clock ticking near midnight. You have drifted from the cathedral to the public eye right after, swarmed by citizens congratulating you on your wedding and welcoming you as their Princess. Now, you found yourself pressed next to Rintaro as you greeted all the guests who came forward with well-wishes and gifts. You remembered all those nights you had to stay awake to memorize all of their names and duties to the country, considering it as a part of your preparation into becoming Queen someday, and you surprised both yourself and Rintaro from how natural you conversed with them.

In front of you stood Lady Lev, a part of the Cabinet who had been loyal to the royal family for generations now, her children soon to follow in her steps. Kind, blue eyes smiled at you both. “You two are so beautiful, Your Highnesses. By far the most charming couple Inarizaki has seen.”

Shaking his head with a blush tinting his cheeks, Rintaro chuckled. “Oh, Lady Lev, that is too kind of you.”

“It is the truth! I can already tell we have a bright future ahead of us with you both as our leaders.”

The three of you fall into mindless chatter about politics, rotating between generals and other royals who had been invited until you realized you had finished your fourth drink of the night. To say you were tired was an understatement, but you did not expect to stumble a little on your heels as your vision began to spin. Whimpering, you braced yourself from the fall when a strong arm wrapped itself around your waist. Warm, brown eyes stared down at you humorously with a laugh playing along his lips.

“Whoa there, love,” Rintaro teased, nudging his brow in the direction of your empty glass. “Had too much to drink already? You ought to stop unless you want to pass out, but we can also leave if you are exhausted. It must have been a long day for you.”

You cursed your heart for swaying at his concern.

Brushing his hold off of you and ignoring the way your skin tingled upon coming to contact with his, you steadied yourself upright. “My feet hurt, Your Highness. I think it could be the shoes. Aside from that, the exhaustion means nothing to me. We are supposed to entertain the guests.”

Rintaro hummed and narrowed his eyes on your feet. “Did they not give you a comfortable pair?”

“Nothing about what I am wearing is comfortable for me,” you mindlessly muttered before realizing the offense of your words. Head snapping up, you waved your hand defensively, heart-pounding as the Crown Prince raised a brow. “I-I do not mean the dress, my Prince! You chose this for me, so I love it.”

“But it is not comfortable.”

“I am fine, really—”

Rintaro dragged you closer by the waist. Sweeping his eyes across the room, he suddenly leaned down to whisper in the shell of your ear, hot breath fanning over your exposed jaw. “If it is so uncomfortable, I am not opposed to the idea of removing the dress for you. Anything to help my wife...” he purred seductively with a finger running down the zipper behind your dress, his teeth gently nipping at your earlobe. It felt like you had lost all ability to breathe when you were clouded by his intoxicating scent. “...and I would do it. What do you say we take a quick break from the reception and disappear, hm? There is a spare room near here. The guests would not mind.”

Your skin warmed at his implications.

“But, Your Highness—”

“They have food and drinks to keep them occupied for days. Trust me when I say no one would notice.” Rintaro leaned down to kiss you, but you grew shy and hesitant at the last minute, turning your head to the side until his lips landed on your cheeks instead.

Rintaro raised a brow in question. You had never refused a kiss from him before.

“M-Maybe later, Your Highness...”

The Crown Prince scrutinized you carefully. A beat passed, then two, before he queried: “Are you shy with me, love? You did not kiss me back when we recited our vows too,” he prompted, then fought against the amused quivering of his lips building into a teasing smirk. “Or perhaps, you do not enjoy being seen by a crowd?”

As if on cue, a round of ‘aww’s coming from the crowd had you and the Prince turning your attention away from each other. There, on the dance floor, swayed a giggling, red-faced Maiko basking in the rare attention given to her by a tipsy Prince Tooru. His smile was as rare as her gleeful, lovesick smiles. However, Rintaro was not looking at them. Rather, his eyes were on Prince Kiyoomi and Princess Iris stiffly dancing with one another – him looking handsome yet terribly uncomfortable, and her gaze focused on no one else but him. Her expression was unreadable.

Glancing back at your husband, your heart fell upon seeing the smile fade from his face.

As peculiar as it sounded, you did not want Rintaro to feel the same pain of jealousy as you did. You both were two sides of the same coin. He felt the same heartbreak as you did despite him having promised he would do anything for her, and you were in the same position.

You understood him the best.

Maybe that was why you slowly snaked your lace gloved arm up to his shoulders and rested it there, tapping his cheek to turn his attention away from her. It would probably be a futile attempt of distraction.

“My love, would you dance with me? We have not had our first dance yet.”

Nodding, you and Rintaro slowly trailed to the dance floor. The spotlight followed you like moths drawn to the flame, the other royal pairs disappearing in the darkness as only you and Rintaro were in the middle of the room and danced in each other’s arms. You swayed to the beat as he twirled you in sync. Slowly, he began to smile again, pearly-white teeth showing when you playfully wiggled your brows at him in hopes he would no longer feel sad.

“You’ve gotten better at dancing,” he praised as he twirled you with one arm, effortlessly catching you in his arms with your legs bent in a curve.

“Anything to impress you.”

Rintaro threw his head back in laughter. “You do not need to do anything to impress me, darling. I am smitten by you no matter what you do,” he remarked, slowing down when the song changed into a more mellow tune. Drawing closer to you, Rintaro rested his hands on your hips, his forehead pressed to yours whilst closing his eyes. “Thank you for marrying me, Y/N. You have made me the happiest man in the world.”

“How so?”

“Because from now on, I shall have everything I ever wanted.”

  TAGLIST CLOSED.

@taelia15 @gojojang @tsukkisrightpinky @rafzaha @cosmotoic @rintarovibes @kyriaan @selenelle @cuddlesslut @thatobsessedreader @boosyboo9206 @kitsu-writes @iamtheunknown @princessatoru @delicatedahlias @bokuatsubro @call-me-lulu @creepykawass @amarinthe @sunarinschuppets @coconut-dreamz @chimcrim @myhomeworksnotdone @sunaritn @redflowerinthesnow @jewlmin @seashellmichellee @sailorstrawberi @1ce-in-a-lifetime @saoney​ @oh-honeyz​ @sh4nn​ @sakuralikestars​ @cookieempress2​ @lilacwh0re​

[shepherds-of-haven]

I hope you’re having a great day Lena! I was just wondering if we could have any fluff facts about the shepherds as a whole! Like fun tidbits of how they interact with each other, what some of them do if they have the same day off, does anyone host weekly game nights?? I hope that makes sense! Reading the recent short story on Patreon I love seeing how the characters interact with one another and now I need moreeeeeee🙏

Ooh, great question! I’m feeling curiously tapped dry at the moment, so I’ll probably have to reblog this as more ideas come to me; I’m so happy you’re enjoying the short story, btw!! 💖

Some group dynamic headcanons:

Many of them steal clothes from each other. Briony wears a cute sweater of Shery's (she asked), Ayla gets cold so she just takes one of Red's jackets from a chair (she didn't ask), Chase gives Tallys his scarf one day and Riel corders Trouble a pair of gloves from a fashion line he favors because his old ones are holey and they get into an argument about it... This leads to some recruits mistakenly thinking that the captains are all involved in some sort of mass relationship because they keep walking out of each other's rooms wearing each other's clothes. (The recruits believe a lot of really dumb stuff, if you couldn't tell. They LOVE gossip. It's like a competitive sport in the compound)

There is a weekly card game night, initiated and organized first by Chase, but it grows bigger over time, with snacks, cakes, drinks, and new games being procured! I'd actually say it's more like every ten-fourteen days or so than on any set weekday, and is typically proposed by anyone who senses that they or others need to blow off some steam. They all tend to meet in a private common room and either just chill and play some card games and casually drink and listen to music, or they get LOUD and raucous and play more risque non-card games (like Question or Command/Truth or Dare). The loud nights are more like once a month or bi-monthly, though! They take place in the captains' lounge so dumb recruits don't get to join! It's rare that they're in there all doing the same thing, though: maybe half will be at the table playing card games while others will be broken up into smaller groups, say arm-wrestling in the corner or playing chess at the smaller table or reading, but they're all there! Game nights are almost never held unless everyone is there, which is extraordinarily difficult to schedule, but they all make an effort to make it happen--even those who first had to be dragged into it, like Blade or Riel!

Speaking of chess games, Red and Riel have a standing game where they complete at least four more moves every night that they're around and able to meet up after dinner. Planning their next move helps them both break up the monotony of the day, and it's something they enjoy immensely. However, whenever he gets called away on a mission, Red gets sick with worry that Riel's been cooking up all sorts of schemes while he's been gone, so sometimes on the road he has, like, a schematic that he doodles on trying to anticipate Riel's next move, and it's very nerdy and ramps up in joking Anxiety. Riel, graciously, goes easier on him on nights after he comes back from long trips, though he denies it

Similarly, Blade and Trouble have a standing training session once a week where they just beat the crap out of each other. This is generally where they do the majority of their talking

Briony and Ayla first had an agreement that they would get the other one up if they overslept (Briony tends to be the one who oversleeps while Ayla is better about being up at dawn, but Ayla is really grouchy if she went to bed late and Briony is the only one who can handle her), which morphed into doing runs and sparring together at dawn and having breakfast frequently!

The girls have a standing spa night once a month where they all get together in a room (usually Shery’s) and basically do sleepover stuff and relax and chat and catch up for a few hours. This also sometimes involves showing each other new outfits that they bought that month! Sometimes there are even group baths in the big common bath, but these are rarer because Shery is shy and Tallys doesn’t like sitting in hot water getting pruny

Chase and Trouble drag Red and Halek to go drinking with them around once a month; sometimes Blade is persuaded to go if Trouble can get the drop on him and punch him hard enough to wind him. It’s complicated

Riel and Shery, of course, have tea together once a week! You’re not allowed if you can’t bring a chill vibe (Riel’s rules). Tallys, Lavinet, Halek, and Red are occasional visitors; Briony is allowed on a good day. Blade would be allowed but he has 0 interest

Similarly, Lavinet hosts a weekly brunch, either in a courtyard or at some restaurant in town! Typically it’s a girl thing and Ayla, Briony, and Shery are the most consistent attendees, but Chase has snuck his way in there often, and Riel, Halek, or Red pop up occasionally!

Tallys and Halek cook together! It’s not all that often and doesn’t seem to have any set way of materializing--it just happens somehow--but they both very much enjoy it! Sometimes they cook dinner for the whole group and have a little dinner party that they both secretly get excited for! Sometimes Shery bakes the dessert!

Riel noticed that Tallys has a little garden that she spends time weeding, so he sends gardening tools or special seeds when he thinks she needs them and she leaves baskets of vegetables or vases of flowers in his office. All of this is done without exchanging a word

Chase sporadically teaches Briony acrobatics and things like tightrope walking, just randomly whenever they’re both idle. She teaches him how to gut people with bare fists and also sometimes they paint! 

Caine caught Red grazing in the pantry late one night and now it’s like a Thing where they pass each other in the kitchen and Red sort of just looks the other way re: Caine’s bedtime and what on earth he’s doing up so late and Caine doesn’t tell anybody that Red is just absent-mindedly eating a loaf of bread at 2 AM because he was too busy working to remember to eat dinner. It’ll be like, “there’s some turkey leftover from dinner in the cold box” “oh hey, Caine. thanks. ...so, what’s the news from the midnight watch tonight?” “i’m going to go hunt ghosts on the seventh floor with my friends!” “...okay! have fun!”

Lavinet has a monthly shopping trip where she updates her wardrobe, and it is very common for others to accompany her around the city and just shop while they drop! Common partners are Shery, Briony, Riel, Chase, and once memorably Blade, who didn’t know what he was in for!

Trouble and Ayla are wildly competitive and keep arm-wrestling each other for money; this becomes a bi-weekly sporting event that is eagerly attended and bet upon by third parties

There was ONE group karaoke night. ONE. Most of them got so blackout drunk that they swore to never do it again. Even now, several of them go green whenever they hear a popular bar song (“Don’t Piss Where You Plant Your Flowers”) being sung, especially badly

The game of "telephone" gets really bad in their group. It's like, Shery will say to Briony that she's worried because she thought Riel looked a bit peaky and feverish. Briony will say in passing to Trouble that Riel is getting sick and Shery is worried. Trouble will say to Tallys that Shery is worried sick because Riel is bedridden. Tallys will be mixing herbs and Chase will ask what for and Tallys will reply that Riel is sick, but because she's mixing herbs, Chase will surmise that the sickness must be quite advanced, and will later say, "Damn, have you seen Riel? Seems like he's really sick." Red will interpret this as "I have seen Riel for myself and have determined that he's extremely ill." At least four people will bust into Riel's room, expecting him to be on the verge of death, despite the fact that they saw Riel that morning. Riel will be fine and very annoyed at the intrusion.

They rarely go out as a group to bars and establishments outside of the compound (too chaotic as well as risky, for one thing, and also, recruits don't need to see their superiors like hanging out of bushes and dancing on tabletops drunk out of their minds, and also, "Mages can't drink" (lol)), but when they do deem it a worthy occasion (Trouble's birthday, say), the girls are very punctual when getting ready, and the boys are almost always extremely late due to various shenanigans (Chase forgot that he put a booby trap on Red’s door, covering Red with flour, or a cat somehow slips into Trouble’s room and steals, like, a detonator or an important key, and they have to go chasing it across the city). This has led to the girls coming late on purpose in order to even out their arrival, but mysteriously, this has only led to even later start times, meaning they often don’t get started until like 10 or 11 PM when the most well-intentioned souls meant to be in bed by midnight... that never happens, either!

One such night once led to them ending up on a ridge in the Sun’s Embrace, like a mile outside of the city, in order to watch the sun rise together, because hiking in the dark while blasted out of their minds sounded like a really good idea. They all made it, and the dawn was spectacular, but the moment was ruined when Tallys said softly, “It’s the beginning of a beautiful new day--” punctuated by Trouble abruptly throwing up in a bush and Riel just flat-out passing out

[genshin-impact-writings]

Hi!! May I have a tall cold brew with peppermint syrup and strawberry drizzle for Diluc please?

Hey there! Thank you so much for your request and your patience. I wasn't really sure where I wanted to go with this one and I also had to deal with writer's block while working on this, so I really hope it still came out somewhat okay. Anyways, here's your drink: a tall cold brew with peppermint syrup and some strawberry drizzle on top! <3

Prompts: angst, character A taking care of character B when they’re sick, “You’re so warm.” + “You’re shivering. Here, take my jacket.” (400 followers event: JJ's coffee shop)

Fever – Diluc x gn!reader

Dragonspine was beautiful at this time of the day. The snow glistened in the golden light of the rising sun and the sky was painted in the most gorgeous shades of orange, red and light blue as the stars and the moon slowly faded until, in a couple of hours, the approaching night would bring them out again.

You craned our neck, using your hand to shield your eyes from the sunlight. In the distance, you could see the silhouette of Mondstadt’s cathedral, its stony façade almost glowing in the sunrise. It was a breathtaking sight, and for a few moments, you just stood there and gazed at the town you had grown to love so much that you couldn’t imagine living somewhere else.

The only thing you’d probably never get used to was that damn cold on Dragonspine. Your breath was pluming in the frosty air, and your fingertips already started to feel numb, although you had picked the warmest gloves you owned when you got dressed for your mission.

It wasn’t unusual that the Knights sent someone to Dragonspine to collect their Chief Alchemist’s newest research date, so you came here quite often and knew what expected you but today was the first time that none of the other knights accompanied you. They were all busy with other commissions and while Jean had asked you to postpone your trip, you had insisted to go today. The data was important; the local alchemists needed them as soon as possible, and you really weren’t known for being unreliable. The only problem you had encountered was that no one was allowed to go to Dragonspine alone. The mountain was too dangerous and unpredictable to explore it on one’s own, so Jean had told you that she’d only allow you to go if you found someone to come with you.

With a barely noticeable smile you glanced at the man by your side, his flaming red hair even brighter against the pale, snowy background. It was rare that Diluc agreed to officially help the Knights with their matters but you knew that he could hardly deny you anything – which was probably the only reason why he was here with you now. Maybe he also didn’t want you to go to Dragonspine completely alone but in the end, you didn’t care much about his reasons. All that mattered was that you could collect Albedo’s data without further delays.

“Ready?”

Diluc gazed back at you. “Yes. Let’s get this done.”

In silence, the two of you made your way uphill. You pulled your scarf up higher to keep the lower half of your face warm but against the harsh, cold wind that steadily grew stronger, the fabric didn’t help much. A few minutes on this damn mountain and you were already starting to shiver. No wonder that most people avoided Dragonspine like the plague.

You hunched your shoulders as another gust of freezing cold wind hit you. With a deep sigh, you said, “I don’t understand why Albedo couldn’t have picked a warmer place for his research. I mean, yeah, the landscape is really pretty and I bet there are a lot of things to discover up here but it’s so freaking cold. I really don’t know how he hasn’t frozen to death yet.”

“Don’t ask me,” Diluc replied, watching you from the corner of his eye. It was obvious that you were cold, not just from the way you tried to adjust your scarf to cover more of your face. Your whole posture told him that the cold gave you a hard time today – a lot more than it did usually.

With a frown, he stopped in his tracks. “Wait a second,” he said and took off his coat in one swift movement, handing it to you without any hesitation. “You’re shivering,” he explained when you gave him a questioning look. “Here, take my jacket. I don’t want you to get sick.”

You stared at his coat. “Are you sure?”

Diluc shrugged. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.” A faint smile flashed over his face as you raised your eyebrows and gave him another skeptical look. “Just take it, okay?”

“Thank you,” you mumbled while you slipped on his coat over your own jacket, indulging in his comforting scent that surrounded you immediately and the warmth of the soft fabric. You reached out for his hand, both to thank him once again and to drag him along. “We should hurry to get to Albedo’s base camp. It’s too cold to wander around without a coat – even for you.”

*

Exactly four days later, you knew that it had been a mistake to accept Diluc’s offer. His forehead was covered in cold sweat and he was shivering, despite the pile of blankets you had put over his body to keep him warm. Incoherent mumbles escaped his slightly parted, chapped lips as he tossed and turned in his sleep, suffering from yet another fever dream. It pained you to see him like this, very well aware that it was your fault that he was sick. If you hadn’t taken his jacket, he wouldn’t be in this condition right now.

Barbara had checked on him a couple of hours ago, warning you that it might get worse before he was going to feel better. “His fever is pretty high,” she had said, her hand resting on his forehead. “I can send you some herbs that will help to lower his temperature but other than that, all we can do is wait. But please don’t worry, (Y/N), he will be fine.”

You knew that she was right. After all, Barbara knew exactly what she was talking about when it came to injuries and illnesses, and the medical tea you had prepared following her instructions would surely help him, but still, you couldn’t stop worrying about him. His skin was even paler than usual and even the color of his hair seemed to be duller than normally. He looked absolutely terrible and he probably felt even worse.

“I’m so sorry,” you mumbled and leaned forward to brush a strand of hair out of his face. Beneath your fingertips, his skin felt burning hot and freezing cold at the same time, and you reached out for the damp cloth on the nightstand to gently dab away the sweat on his forehead. “This is all my fault.”

He mumbled something in his sleep again, a painful reminder that he’d contradict you if he were awake, insisting that the only reason for his condition was his own stupidity. And of course, you’d disagree until the conversation resulted in playful bickering.

But he wasn’t awake. And all you could think of was how much it sucked that you could do nothing to make him feel better.

*

A couple of hours later, Diluc finally woke up from his confusing dreams. He still felt like absolute trash, you could see it in his eyes, but somehow, he managed to crack a smile when he spotted you curled up in an armchair right next to the bed.

“Hey,” he mumbled, his voice hoarse and raspy, but it still made a wave of relief wash over you to hear him talk. “Hey yourself,” you replied and closed the book you had been reading half-heartedly over the past few hours before leaning in to put your hand on his forehead. His temperature was still too high but at least, he was awake now. “You’re so warm… How are you feeling?”

With a quiet groan, Diluc closed his eyes again. “Horrible.”

“Do you want some tea? Or a glass of water?”

“No… I think I just want to go back to sleep.”

“Oh. Okay.” Somehow, a part of you had hoped that he would magically feel better as soon as he woke up but of course that had been nothing more than wishful thinking. A cold as severe as his couldn’t be cured by a few hours of restless sleep, so it was completely normal that his body screamed for more resting time. “Do you want me to leave?”

He shook his head.

“Okay,” you repeated. “I’ll stay.”

“Come here,” he mumbled, shifting a bit to make some room for you in the bed. “Please. I don’t want to be alone. Unless,” a coughing fit interrupted him before he could finish his sentence, and he took a deep breath before continuing, “unless you’re afraid to pick up a cold.”

With an indignant huff, you climbed into the bed, draping your arm over the blankets in an attempt to hug him before craning your neck to press a soft kiss to his cheek. “Get some rest,” you told him softly. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Thank you for reading! If you liked it, please consider reblogging. I'd really appreciate the support. <3

Taglist: @blissmal, @aimicoos, @childe-support, @rim0na,@the-gayest-sky-kid