#also in case the ‘girls’ sounds weird - i didn’t wanna say ‘guys’ bc i do not think there are (m)any guys here

[selfcarecap]

Girls what do I wear to a christening/baptism? Like can I serve cunt? Or do I have to buy like a plain long dress?

And like, are trainers/sneakers okay? 😭 or platform boots?

[twink-frank]

hi i’ve noticed the pencey prep gay conversation going on over on @awsugar and i have spent lots of time dissecting pencey prep lyrics and subjecting nathan @faggot-frank to my deranged ramblings so Here is my pencey prep super ultra mega gay lyrical analysis masterpost. it’s very long so its all under the cut but i will include a TL;DR for those who dont wanna read paragraphs of my deranged ramblings: Pencey prep uses lots of themes of: heartbreak, forbidden love, keeping love a secret, and toxic relationships. which none of that is gay on its own but combined with them almost never using gender indicators in their songs and the “nail in the coffin song” of 8th grade it ends up being a very Fruity Album.

I will be going through heart break in stereo in order and pointing out which lyrics and elements of certain songs jump out to me as Super Mega Gay and then summarizing my conclusions at the end <3

1 ) PS Don't Write

PS don't write is about leaving a toxic relationship, it has notes of moving on and leaving someone behind. "packed up all my shit / stole back all my tapes / left your spare key under the mat / this is not a joke / you'd better learn to take a hint / 'cause i'm not coming back / maybe you'll understand / when you're waking up alone / in a cold and empty bed." it has no gender indicators or pronouns which is the case in a lot of pencey prep songs, and something i'll bring up quite a bit. it also has general "coming of age" themes, something common in lots of pencey prep songs. which Yeah apply to straight people to but read in this context combined with future evidence can be pretty Fuckin Gay. "somewhere along the line / i found a hidden strength / i didn't know i had / standing on my own / cutting all the strings / that you used to control / surprise surprise / i am long gone / if you thought you could hold me down / by holding me up / you were wrong / you don't call the shots anymore." not to say only gay people can find inner strength and the room to love themselves but combined with other context it is a really poignant message about accepting yourself for who you are.

2) Yesterday

Yesterday is very repetitive and has a lot less to analyze, but the constant themes of wanting to "run away" strike me as very Fruity. once again, not saying gay people are the only people who can want to run away or escape from something But Combined With Other Context. and once again a song with no gender indicators, doesnt specify who the speaker is running away with or what they are running away from. just that they want to Leave. "i wanna run with you / i don't care what we do / gotta get out of this place / because it feels like yesterday." also saying "it feels like yesterday" could mean that the town feels backwards or old timey in its beliefs, implying homophobia. how the speaker wants to run away from an old fashioned town.

3) Don Quixote

i'm going to bring up the cultural significance of this title and literary reference first. Don Quixote is a classical novel by Cervantes which is about a crazy dude who thinks he's a knight, and goes on weird adventures with his best friend. It's typically used as a symbol of following your dreams and breaking free from what people expect of you. In the context of the song its used as a symbol of following your dreams with Someone. once again this someone is given no gender indicators. "you say it's not worth it / been burned too many times / if your spine's receding / you can borrow some of mine / don't go and quit right now / cause i'd follow you through hell." "you say so many things / and not a word of it was true / if you're still in that state of mind / i'd still vacation inside of you / cause i think you're worth every minute / and every dime that i spend / i'd spend all my time fighting dragons / just to keep you alive and talking." it's about wanting to spend time with someone, wanting to be with them no matter what. and its also about how this person feels unreachable, like being with them would be a fairytail but the speaker Still Reaches for it. "your imaginations running wild / round your deceptive heart / this is my crusade / and you're the unreachable star / but i'm reaching." talking about this person being unreachable and unattainble. which isnt gay By Itself  but again combined with the other context. FRUIT BEHAVIOR.

4) 10 Rings

another breakup song once again with no gender indicators, are you guys sensing a theme here? anyways this song is about someone cutting you off and then coming back suddenly wanting to talk again after breaking your heart. it has a sense of forbidden love, like this person Told the speaker they cant be together for Whatever Reason ;] and is now trying to come back and repair their mistake when the speaker is already hurt and reeling. "learn to live with decisions you make / i learned things from the break i can't forget / catch you doing drive-bys at 1 AM / it must kill you to know we can't be friends." "end of the summer you cut me off / i cut you out all the pictures i have." which this Isnt Gay By Itself. but bringing that phrase back with other context this is such a uniquely gay experience. being in love with someone and they cut you off Because theyre weirded out by that and then they try to come back, convince you it meant nothing.

5) The Secret Goldfish

my FAVORITE pencey song. this one has a lot. it's another breakup song about heartbreak and loss and im not even gonna dwell on the no gender indicators because yall see the theme now. it has themes of heartbreak and losing someone who is very close to you and having to let go of them and having to accept that this person cant be yours and you cant be with them. "land of the lost / i found myself in nothing / this time, promises broken find me / clutching to you for something / something that you're not / believing in what you say / it makes me lie awake at night / the truth, the truth is not what scares me / it's why you have to lie / all the time." here we see these themes of having to let someone go because they just Aren't The Same as you. "clutching to you for something / something that you're not." maybe like chasing after a straight boy and getting rejected? also the repetition of "heartbreak is forever" when you're young and gay losing that first person you felt some kind of love and attraction to can feel like the end of the world and can be a huge deal because of the lack of representation and guidance young gays get. and the themes of nothing lasting forever, the fact that gay people never get promised eternal love the same way straight people do.

6) 8th Grade

this song is the nail in penceys fucking coffin honestly. the rest of these songs have a lot of plausible deniability, just vague enough to maybe Not Be Gay. but framed in the context of 8th grade they all start to get a lil fruity. Im just gonna go through lyric by lyric for this one. "caught staring again / like a deer in the headlights / when you can't move fast enough / i take a hit for the team / pretty girl is blushing / i can't tell if she's disgusted / laughter starts to swell / someone gets the joke." this kid was staring at some cute boy ass and got caught and everyone is laughing at him for being gay. the "pretty girl" here is what most people think he's staring at but with the rest of the song it's obvious she's not the one he's looking at. "bells ring, i make my escape / helps a little, but doesn't save / beat downs a common thing / with us every day / maybe im just strange / cause i dont change schools / so maybe i like the abuse / or maybe i just like you." literally This is the nail in penceys fucking coffin. "maybe i like the abuse or maybe i just like you." this kid purposefully takes beatings from his bully who is Obviously male if you take into context the next verse. because he Likes Him. "maybe im just strange / cause i dont change schools" literally willingly taking beatings from his bully bc he has a crush. "another confrontation / you've got something to prove / your girl can't tell how tough you are / when you beat me up in the boys room." this just confirms that the subject of the song is a boy, and a tough macho boy with something to prove. maybe also hiding his own internalized homophobia through bullying? "well i made a big mistake / but i can't help who i like / this may not cost my life / but i am branded forever lame." LITERALLY ITS RIGHT IN YOUR FACE. "can't help who i like" "branded forever lame" do i even need to fucking explain this oh my god. he got outed as gay, he Can't Help Who He Likes and is now branded forever as "the gay kid." the rest of the song is general "im gonna get back at my bully" stuff but literally THIS. THIS is the song that brands all penceys other very vague songs as 100% verified super mega ultra gay.

7) 19

this song has a lot less, and is more about internal struggle than anything. but it is the only song with a "she" pronoun in it. but there is one thing i wanna mention. "I scream out loud / but no one hears a sound / i take my life with lack of sleep / i believe the things i feel / the things i see are fooling only me." this song is about not believing what the world shows you, believing what you think is true in your heart and what You feel. not what anyone else tells you. which is a gay experience. believing in yourself and your heart and your feelings, believing theyre right and theyre true and valid. Also this song has a significance in coming right after 8th grade on the album, going from being 13 to 19, from being unsure in your feelings and angry about the people who dont like you to lost and hopeless but somewhat grounded in yourself.

8) Trying To Escape The Inevitable

this song is about an abusive and toxic relationship, knowing you Need to escape it but being so infatuated with the person you literally cant. “i have this reoccurring dream / you make it hard for me to breathe / i gave you everything i could / i gave up everything i owned / and when you smile it’s not for me / you offer little sympathy / your grasp so far exceeds your reach / i wake up, this is not a dream.” “i have this reoccuring dream / where you admit that you’re not happy / i know that you will never leave / you’re here just to torment me.” which like again this isnt an exclusively gay experience but it is very interesting when framed that way. in that gay people are way more likely to throw themselves into abusive and toxic relationships because they dont feel like they can get anybody else. the repetition of “i know i should run” makes it seem like the speaker Knows he should get out but he just Cant because what if he never finds love again? and the little reprise in the middle “i have a new dream / and everything is perfect / the sky is pink, yellow, green, blue, and orange / and all the past has been forgotten / and we fell in love / and we fell in love / and we fell in love / and i fell into your trap.” implying that even if he escapes, even in his dreams he still falls for this person because he feels like he cant have anything else.

9) Lloyd Dobbler

another love song about wanting to have someone but not being able to because of Unspecified Forbidden Reasons. “why are you so far away / even when you’re standing next to me? / your eyes give you away / telling secrets your mouht don’t feel like talking.” falling in love with someone, maybe sensing that they like you too. that they Are Like You and that they have a Secret they dont want to vocalize. do i even need to explain it at this point? and in the chorus “That I’ll be your lloyd dobbler / with a boom box out in the street / and i’ll be there if you need someone / even if he isn’t me.” saying you’ll be there for someone even if that person isn’t you, also the use of Pronouns which is big for pencey prep. which yes the use of “even if he isnt me” could imply a straight girl ooorrr....Fruit Behavior. also this line “There’s a norman rockewll painting / of two kids sitting on a bench / it reminds me of all the stupid things / i’d like for us to share, but i dont care.” normal rockwell is a painter that paints traditionally “american” scenes. like the american ideal, that maybe he wants with this person. but he knows he cant have, but its stupid and domestic and he wants it but he Cant Have It because of FRUIT BEHAVIOR.

10) Florida Plates

another of my favorite pencey songs, and this one brings back those tragic “love but we cant have it” themes, except with a more somber tone. instead of being angry or resentful or spiteful in the face of adversity. its an Acceptance, of what they had and how good it was and how it just Cant Last. “kiss a mouth to open eyes / stall one last moment before goodbye / drive in different cars in different directions / never write all the letters full of good words, better intentions / it’s for the best although we don’t know it / paper words will cheapen the moments we shared / it’s better if i say nothing at all.” it’s about knowing you have to leave someone, even if having them in the moment is great they Can’t Stay and you can’t even talk or write about the moments you had. which do i even need to explain it at this point? forbidden love, not being able to have each other, not even being able to Talk about it. its a secret, and painful one but its beautiful while you have it. Conclusion alright!!! thank you so so much if you read all the way through that i Know it was long i Know it was a lot of repetition but i wanted to make my point. pencey prep has very big gay themes in their music. with forbidden love, letting go, heartbreak, keeping secrets, toxic realtionships. which none of it is gay on its own but in the context of: almost none of the songs having clear gender indicators and always speaking really vaguely about the subject and Eight Grade the “nail in the coffin song” you can see my point thank you and goodnight.

[xnchxntmxnt]

Hey this is for your matchups which again yayyy congrats on nearly 200!! Anyways for my matchup:

1-3) My nickname is Em, she/her and idm who you pair me with

4) I'd describe myself as shy at first then once you get to know me I'll open up, an overthinker and I like to be organized

My hobbies are writing, I really love it alot, I also like to draw if I get time and I love music alot too

In a partner I'd look for someone who makes me laugh and who's patient

For dealbreakers it's pretty general but I couldn't be with someone who doesn't consider other ppl's feelings

5) I don't have an aesthetic but I like pastel aesthetics but then I also like dark aesthetics and light academia so it's a mix I guess

6) Colours to describe me would be teal blue and silver, well according to you anyways

7) Right now I'd say my favourite song is  Tru Luv Street by Awfultune or Fight Night Champion by Cyberbully Mom Club

8) Idk about a specific genre but some artists I like rn are: Awfultune, Carpetgarden, Cavetown, Clem Turner, Cyberbully Mom Club, Girl in Red, Joji, Lorde, Matt Maltese and Twenty One Pilots (sorry that's alot)

9) Ooh and I wanted to include that my favourite book is Radio Silence by Alice Oseman

Thank you in advance and also ily, you deserve all the love and more!! <3

EM MY BELOVED I HAVE DONE IT

@sugasfanfics this was so fun wtf like-- ugh i love this

ANYWAY i know i already kinda spilled the beans but im gonna match you with....

✧𝐴𝑘𝑎𝑎𝑠ℎ𝑖 𝐾𝑒𝑖𝑗𝑖✧

AGASHIII

and no it's not just because you're already in love w him i have good reasoning behind this because i said so anyWAY

✧𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑀𝑒𝑡✧

how you met, for in case you cant see my fancy text

Cafe

C a f e

But like

A cafe specifically for nerds

This is just my like 2nd dream job okay but like hear me out

They have coffee & tea & a bookshelf full of old books and a chalkboard

You can write all over the chalkboard

You write super tiny and just let a little mini vent out in the corner because you’re stressed out and need to get everything off your chest

BUT you come back the next day and there’s a little note in the same little corner

Your message is gone

But instead is a little note from someone

“If you ever need to talk to someone, let me know”

And an Instagram username

So you give it a shot and you’re like why not talk to this random person Y’know maybe make a new friend if anything just thank them for the offer

You message him and start talking (and low key stalk his page just to see what he’s like, or maybe that’s just me being a snoop) and he’s actually really cool! So you guys meet up and get coffee and actually start talking all the time it’s really sweet

✧𝐺𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙 𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠✧

general headcanons

When i think of akaashi, I think of stars

When i think of you, i think of picnics and for some reason, water

Like the ocean

SO EVEN IF ITS NOT THE OCEAN

Your ‘spot’ is by this lake where he took you on a date one time

Maybe for an anniversary or something

But you guys did a little picnic dinner thing and were out when the sun went down so sat and stared at the stars

You buried a rock there and both of you like to stand on that spot where the rock is when youre there with the other

Or send the other a picture like “hiii baby look what i found” w your shoe in the picture

Bokuto is your #1 shipper high key

Like he thinks you two are so cute

He loves you so much too like

He and akaashi are kinda a package deal so like if ur dating akaashi ur dating bokuto just with less kissing (bokuto likes to kiss your cheek or forehead) (after making sure this was ok with akaashi of course) (ur his girlfriend of course)

But anyway just bokuto

He’s so sweet

And so clueless

You two will be walking together and then he’ll just walk up behind you and sling his arms over your shoulders

If youre holding hands w akaashi? He’ll put his hand over both of yours

God now i wanna write a fic but anyway

Bo is just the sweetest and is akaashi’s #1 hype man when he’s worried about a date

He’s ur #2 bc im ur #1 sorry to tell u

Bo totally tried to coin the platonic soulmates thing i love you kou but gtfo my em

Im arguing with fictional characters

ANYWAY

When akaashi is stressed he likes to wrap his arms around you and lay his head against your neck

He’ll never admit it out loud because he thinks its weird but he thinks you smell nice

When he’s starting to overthink too much + spiral he just will grab you and hug you until all the bad thoughts go away

When he thinks to of course

When he doesn’t, there are times you gotta find him and calm him down

Which he loves so much

Sit him down on the floor so he feels more grounded and hold his hand (or hook pinkies that's so cute i jhbflebf) (not the time spencer gtfo)

That way ur not crowding him but you’re still there y'know

And sometimes he’ll talk, sometimes you need to talk him down, sometimes you just sit in silence

Eventually he will lean forward into you and hug you because he doesn't want to talk, but he wants you to know he’s okay

Rub his back, kiss his head, you’ll both be okay

He’s really good with you too

When you’re stressed out he might push a couple buttons but he means well

He just wants to know who made his star upset (he calls you his star or darling convince me otherwise)

So he pushes buttons until you finally talk about it because obviously it’s bothering you why wouldn't you talk about it?? He just wants to fix it??

Sometimes this gets more irritating, sometimes it helps, it depends on the day

But even if you do get into an argument, expect to hear from him before the end of the night apologizing because he feels so bad for arguing with you that he doesn’t even care what the argument was about he just wants to make sure you still love him

I think im getting off topic but tbh this part is always just me rambling lol

Another thing I think of when I think of akaashi is rain. I don't know why but i do

You have to at least know OF the notebook & the rain scene to get this

I don't know the book lol i just know this much and i'm a dork so we’re using it & some quotes just a heads up

But just imagine its pouring and you’re bored and text him like “i wish i could see you but its raining & we didn't really make plans & i don't want you to get caught in the rain anywhere”

This mfer

RUNS ALL THE WAY TO UR HOUSE

JUST SHOWS UP

OUT OF NO WHERE

And being the freakin

book nerd he is

He texts you and goes “I wrote you 365 letters.”

And then just “(come to the door and I’ll finish the quote)”

So you bolt to the front door

And there he is

Soaking wet & smiling like an idiot

“I wrote to you everyday for a year.”

To which you start laughing and barley are able to make out a “it wasn’t over’ (which is the beginning of the next quote) before kissing him

And this jerk pulls you out in the rain with him because WHAT is more romantic than kissing in the rain

Nothing

Anyway he ends up with a cold but you give him some of the clothes you probably stole from him to get into dry clothes and you cuddle under the covers with tea

After you smack him (playfully of course) because “you IDIOT keiji it's pouring out here!!” “I wanted to see you too so i ran over” “you're impossible”

Anyway yeah #emkaashiotp

✧𝐴 𝐷𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝐼𝑑𝑒𝑎✧

a date idea

Bookstore

I'm really good at naming places aren't i

Anyway

Bookstore date

But do something fun where the two of you have to go through an aisle and find a random page and read it in the like

How do i explain this

Make it sound suuuuper sexual without it actually being that way and not laugh

Whoever loses buys lunch

Lets just say you lose a lot dear im sorry (he insists on buying anyway, sometimes he wins that argument)

You’re smiley :) (guys her smile is so cute ebflbejfb em ILY)

Oh also doesn’t matter if he bought lunch or not he always gets you something

Whether it be that book you decided you couldn't get this time or a little trinket that reminded him of you, or sometimes it’s just ice cream

It’s all very sweet (hahaha pun)

He always walks you home and gives you a little kiss when he drops you off

Doesn’t leave till you’re inside & he knows you’re good

You make him promise to text you when he gets home

Which he does, without fail

✧𝑍𝑜𝑑𝑖𝑎𝑐 𝐶𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑏𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦✧

zodiac compatibility

Sagittariuses are very intelligent, fair-minded & honest, similar to a Libra’s cleverness & rationale. Because of this similarity, trust is a huge thing in these relationships. It can be all or nothing, but finding balance is important to keep both people happy. Luckily, Libras are very good at this. From everything I’ve seen, these signs together have a very high compatibility and can have a very long-withstanding and healthy relationship.

✧𝐴𝑒𝑠𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑐✧

aesthetic

✧𝑃𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡✧

playlist

House of Gold - Twenty-One Pilots

Lvr Boy - awfultune

A Shitty Love Song - Jye

Darling Get Up - awfultune

Something Just Like This - Alex Goot

✧𝑅𝑢𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑈𝑝✧

runners up

Nishinoya Yuu, Sugawara Koushi

[artificialqueens]

Girl I Met On The Internet, 2/? (Crystal x Gigi) - Strawberry

a/n: aaaa i’m so glad everyone liked the first chapter! i think this story will end up staying focused on gigi and crystal for the most part, but there is some (one sided) jankie in this chapter if you’re into that! also: just in case no one got the reference, the nickname crystal gives gigi, ‘georgia rose’,comes from the 1d lyrics “Said her name was georgia rose, and her daddy was a dentist” from their song ‘best song ever’!

gigi: are u okay :( ily crystal

crystal: yeah i just got picked on by this cheerleader that doesnt like me

Technically, she wasn’t lying. Crystal didn’t think it was too bad, considering she really only ever saw Dahlia in history class, but she still made it her mission to make that 45 minutes rough for Crystal whenever possible. This time it was pushing all of Crystal’s belongings off of her desk while she was leaving.

gigi: fuck. im sorry. 

crystal: it’s fine dskjdshjgkjf i wish all cheerleaders could take notes from you and jan

gigi: yaaas me and jan invented being nice

gigi: but i was wondering if maybe you could teach me about one direction later tonight?

Crystal had tried to convince the group earlier in the week that One Direction was the best boy band ever, and had only managed to get Jan to agree. She was glad that Gigi had finally come to her senses.

crystal: finally changing your mind? amazayn!

gigi: i regret asking now. take that pun back to 2011!!!!

The rest of the day went as normal. The chat was pretty active, but eventually died down at the end of the school day. Everyone seemed to have plans; Jan was studying, Jaida was going out to hang with friends, Nicky was sleeping, and Heidi was starting a new challenge on the Sims. It appeared to be just her and Gigi, alone in the group chat. 

Crystal decided to message Gigi privately, not wanting the rest of the girls to see her go into full stan mode. If someone asked Crystal about her interests, she could go hours before thinking of stopping herself.

crystal: ok miss gigi are you ready for your 1d crash course?

Crystal told Gigi everything she wanted to know and even more. A history of how they got together, way too much information on each of the five boys, telling her the best songs on each album, and making sure that Gigi knew ‘Midnight Memories’ was their best album. 

gigi: but ur @ is dedicated to made in the am?? fraud!

crystal: HELPFDFHBJ

crystal: mmcrystal sounds weird… like no thanks 

gigi: that was very interesting.. i’ll def listen to midnight memories in the morning <3

crystal: YAY! gigi 1d stan finally

gigi: no promises! :)

Crystal didn’t respond to that, not really knowing what to talk about now. Having a group of friends helped her be less awkward, but it definitely didn’t fix that problem completely. 

gigi: do u wanna play 21 questions or something?? to get to know eachother better???

Of course, Crystal jumped at the chance to get to know the other girl better. It started very innocently, asking about favorite colors and foods. Gigi quickly changed that.

gigi: uhh… have u ever kissed a girl?

crystal: sadly no.. my state is full of straight people

gigi: same.. ur turn

crystal: this feels awkward to ask but uhhh….

As soon as she hits send, she instantly regrets it. She backtracks what she had originally typed, desperately trying to come up with another question. Crystal was not able to think of anything else.

gigi: ????

“I guess I’ll have to do it,” Crystal says, talking to absolutely no one. She types it out again, looking away from her phone as she blindly tried to hit the send button, like it would help her situation be any less flustering for her.

crystal: how long have you and nicky been dating?

Would Gigi find it weird that she asked? Gigi was the one who brought up kissing girls, not Crystal, so it would be fine. Right?

gigi: CRYSTAL WHATBDGNHSDMFD

gigi: nicky and i are not dating omg im single

gigi: she’s like my sister. plus i would never do long distance

Crystal was so embarrassed. She was relieved this conversation was taking place through a screen, so Gigi wouldn’t see her blushing face. 

She was pleased that she was wrong about the two girls, but Gigi’s answer was upsetting to her.

They asked a few more personal questions before Gigi started asking Crystal would you rather questions instead. Crystal’s favorite out of them was if she would rather get a mullet or dress like a clown every day for the rest of her high school career. The answer was both, obviously. 

They spent the rest of the night sending each other stupid questions, giggling to themselves. The later it got, the more Gigi would flirt with her. At least Crystal thought it was flirting.

gigi: it’s really late and i have a test tomorrow so im gonna go to sleep. goodnight, babe

Gigi always would say ‘goodnight, bitch’, and this made Crystal even more confused. The ongoing joke that lesbians had the hardest time telling if a girl is into them or not was one of Crystal’s favorites, but now she couldn’t help but wonder if that was exactly what was happening to her. There was obviously a connection between them, but it was unclear to Crystal if it was just platonic. 

It didn’t hit her until later that night, while she was trying to fall asleep, but Crystal wasn’t entirely sure where Gigi lived. She knew they were in the same time zone, but wasn’t sure what state she was in. It was totally possible that Gigi lived in Missouri, but Crystal highly doubted it. Though Gigi obviously trusted Crystal enough to want to play 21 questions with her, she was still very private, and Crystal wasn’t too sure if Gigi would tell her what state she was in. 

Crystal fell asleep thinking about her highly unrealistic perfect world, where Gigi lived in Missouri and where Crystal wasn’t just another Nicky. 

-

Crystal got onto Twitter right after waking up the next morning, ready to ask Gigi if she happened to live in Missouri, but quickly got distracted with a very interesting conversation going on in the group chat.

jan!: now i may not be gay but i’m in love with a woman… 2 words jackie

jaida: i- that’s only one word

jan!: fuck

heidi: the way i can’t tell if you’re joking or not

jan!: the way i don’t think i am joking

gigi: YAAS about time u admitted that u like her

crystal: hold on i thought jan was straight?? who’s jackie???

nicky: do you really think a straight person would hang out with us?

crystal: good point 

jan!: I AM STRAIGHT! i think? i don’t know i’m so confused. 

heidi: jackie is jan’s local @ crystal

gigi: jan be like: im straight.

gigi: but also jan is like: wow jackie is so pretty and she’s so funny and smart i’m going to fail geometry so she can tutor me but no homo!

heidi: the delusion janice has…

jaida: not to be serious but if you think you like jackie, you probably aren’t straight baby. everyone else hush and let her talk

nicky: ^^ yeah jan what happened

jan!: first of all i did not fail geometry i just said we should study together so we did!!! and have been for months! but last night i couldn’t focus at all bc she’s so pretty all i wanted to do was k*ss her out of nowhere

In a way, Crystal could definitely relate. Gigi wasn’t her local, she still didn’t know what the girl looked like, but she still kind of wanted to kiss her. She couldn’t focus on anything besides Gigi sometimes, not like she would ever admit it. 

All of the girls had sent many comforting messages addressed to Jan, saying that it was okay, and she has all the time she needs to figure out her feelings. Afterwards, everyone had gone back to being playful. Gigi also tried to convince her to make a move on Jackie, which Jan refused.

gigi: if u talk to her u guys can get married <3

crystal: gigi you’re so stupid i love it

jan!: omg did someone say stupid love??? stream! 

gigi: crystal back me up :(

crystal: i might’ve found out who jackie is only 10 minutes ago but i will cry if jan doesn’t talk to her right now

jan!: better start crying bc i dont think i can even look at her now

jaida: that’s not saying much at all. you cried the other day bc gigi sent a pic of her dog

crystal: I AM A NANCY STAN FIRST AND A HUMAN SECOND!!

Crystal knew she looked like an idiot, walking to her locker with her eyes glued to her phone and a dopey smile on her face but she couldn’t care less.

-

The day actually went well for Crystal. The highlight of her day was finding out that the story she wrote for her creative writing class had gotten the highest grade out of everyone in the class, earning her a piece of candy. 

crystal: just got candy and a 99% on my story for class… i truly have the mind of a mastermind

jaida: beauty and intelligence in one combined!

Navigating through the halls was much more difficult when your eyes are glued to your phone, but replying to a meme Jaida sent seemed much more appealing to Crystal than getting to her seventh period without worrying about bumping into someone.  And bumping into someone, she did.

“What the actual fuck, weirdo?” Dahlia yelped, looking extremely offended, “Get off of your sad, cracked phone and watch where your dumb ass is going.”

Crystal just stared at her, frozen in fear. Dahlia taunted her daily, but this was very different from how she usually acts towards her. It was quite terrifying. 

“I swear to God, if you ever look at me, let alone fucking touch me again-” She continued, but before she could finish her statement, she was interrupted by her friend, Georgina running over and pulling her away. 

Crystal didn’t think Georgina shared Dahlia's hatred for her, and Crystal didn’t hate Georgina either. Georgina actually seemed very sweet besides the fact that she had never bothered to step in on the rare occasion Dahlia happened to target Crystal outside of class.

“Can you please leave her alone? We don’t have time for this.” Georgina groaned, looking back at Crystal, flashing her a quick smile, before turning around to escort Dahlia to what Crystal assumed was cheerleading practice.

“But she bumped into me!” Dahlia whined, not used to being interrupted like this.

“Really? Wow, funny. I don’t care.”

Once they were out of sight, Crystal was alone again. She pulled out her phone and went to check if anyone had said anything else in the chat; just Jan freaking out, because Jackie had smiled at her in the hallway.

heidi: everyone say i if you think jan should stop being a baby and ask jackie out

jaida: i

crystal: i

jan!: WTF

jan!: friendship ended with heidi, jaida and crystal. now nicky and gigi are my best friends

jaida: they would say i too if they were online and you know that

jan!: i don’t need friends! they disappoint me!

Crystal decided to not use her phone while she was walking home, not wanting to have a repeat of the Dahlia situation. Her after school routine changed a lot in the past week, making a rule to not check Twitter before completing her homework. Her Twitter addiction was getting worse, but since it was also causing her to be more productive with doing her homework, she saw no issues with it. Once she had finished, she picked up her phone to see that Gigi had messaged her less than a minute ago.

gigi: hey clown :) im done w practice

crystal: WHY AM I A CLOWNDFSHDM

gigi: u just have clown energy. i cant and wont explain 

crystal: honestly yeah i see it but can i at least be your clown wife or something

gigi: yeah <3 hey clown wife! i listened to most of midnight memories and it was really good! my fave song is u and i

If that’s not love, then what is? If that’s not friendship, then what is? Crystal had never been able to get anyone to listen to anything she recommended, ever. She was filled with glee, double tapping the message to heart it. It meant a lot to her.

crystal: YAYAYAYAYA im so glad but it looks so ugly when you spell it like that 

gigi: my fave song you and i* >:(

crystal: better 

gigi: if i have to stop spelling it as u to make you not divorce me i will

Crystal knew deep down it was just a joke, but it made her heart race. The feeling she got every time Gigi would flirt with her was very unfamiliar, but very nice. It didn’t help that Crystal thought ‘You and I’ was one of the most romantic songs One Direction had, she couldn’t help but make the fact Gigi liked it out of all of the other songs into something it was not.

This reminded her of her late night thoughts. She had completely forgotten to ask Gigi where she lived, but the idea didn’t seem the greatest now that she was fully awake. She was still curious though, so against her better judgement she asked, without a segway or anything.

crystal: i forgot to ask but what state do you live in? asking for science

gigi: oh i live in missouri

crystal: omg me too

gigi: i don’t wanna reveal where but this is amazing.. maybe we won’t have to break the distance at all <3

Pleased that she somehow got an answer, Crystal changed the conversation into a discussion of ‘Midnight Memories’, and if Gigi agreed with the opinions Crystal had shared the night before. She did, for the most part and before they knew it, it was time for Gigi to go sleep. Had they really talked all evening? 

gigi: i have to get up early so i need to go to sleep but im really glad jan added u to the gc

crystal: and im happy you asked me about one direction!

gigi: me too. ur cute when ur passionate. i hope we can continue to grow closer

crystal: i’d like that.

gigi: goodnight, my clown :)

crystal: goodnight, georgia rose

gigi: U DID NOT

gigi: my full name isnt even georgia and dad isnt even a dentist but i’ll allow it bc i know u think u invented comedy

gigi: ok gn now <33 luv u

crystal: gn!!! sleep well

Crystal wanted them to stay like this forever.

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Thank you so much for answering my question! It is really kind of you. I have 2 more if it is not a bother: Do you know Haikyuu? I have seen lots of ships on your tumblr and considering what kinds of ships you like, Haikyuu has SO MANY potential for you. :) And the second question is, what do you think about Mikoto and Reisi from K? I only saw Sarumi posts, so I am curious.

Oh heHE, let’s start with k project. Honestly Sarumi is the only ship I care about in this anime, I mean every other couple there for me is very undeveloped for me. Sarumi is like true love shit, I wasn’t expecting them to even go there, and when Misaki said to him “I want you to have a real home you can come back to and that’s me” my jaw was on the floor. I mean, they’ve seen each other at their worst and still loved each other (honestly the whole Fushimi’s father storyline and Misaki holding him through it was just too much for my heart). So they’re the only romantic ship for me in this anime.

Mikoto... wasn’t he in love with that guy who he took into their clan to protect? Who was killed? The one who lalala played the guitar whatever was his name? And that’s why he didn’t want to live after that, only wanted revenge and then finita? No?

Red king and blue king did have a sexual tension in that lighting a cigarette scene, other than that... they just “fought” with each other lots and I don’t even see much relationships or like anything that would make them a good romantic couple. And even if I pretend  that they loved each other... Mikoto asked him to help him killing himself? That’s like assholishness level 200 to me. I never got this idea of asking your loved one to finish your ass... like bitch, maybe it sounds good for you but did your selfish ass think about how your other half is going to live with that? So that’s a huge no for me. 

But seriously I like don’t know what to look for there, I don’t see it. I hope he’s in heavens with that other guy, but also I don’t really care, cause Fushimi was like the only thing why I sat through the whole thing, cause lord that hour of watching that girls watermelons I could’ve spent more productive (like man I was trying not to fall asleep during some useless episodes, I don’t even know why and what for some characters were even there), BUT but it was all worth it, cause there is one character who was written so good and so complex and he’s so well done that I don’t even mind.

Now before I go to Haikyuu... I think my problem is that unlike many I don’t ship every bromance just bc it’s a good bromance. Because sometimes there are some great bromances but they give out like zero romantic vibes. For example, Stiles and Scott: would totally die for each other, hug each other a lot, have no problem with saying I love you, but they’re like best bros, there is nothing romantic there. Like Stiles can ask Danny or Scott if they find him attractive, but he would never ask Derek about this, you know what I mean? They’re like me and my sister.

So for me there is a huge difference between bro things and gay things (like I only partly joked while making that rinharu post). And some couples are clearly crossed that line in some weird moments. Because things like high fiving each other and hugging each other don’t make anyone gay. I don’t know if that makes sense for anybody else... but those who have siblings or bffs will get what I mean. 

Like classical example is Rin Matsuoka. When it come to Sousuke he easily writes him letters and calls him like I feel with my best friend. I can call anytime and be like “bro, I’ve missed you”. Cue the 3x03 weirdest scene when Rin misses Haru and is afraid to call and tell him that. That’s the proof here that they’re clearly something weird there, cause if they were just friends he would be like “hey, bro, missed you” which will never be the case here.

Or can you imagine Rin and Haru seeing each other and being like “yo man” and fist bumping and hitting each other? I’ll bet 1000$ that you can’t. Rin can hit Sousuke in the shins, and ruffle Nagisa’s hair, but Haru would never get this from him. And spoiler: it’s not cause he hates him xD

Also I think the easiest example is Kuroko. (and please, don’t think I’m judging ppl for shipping stuff, I mean to each their own, it’s just my opinion). It’s the anime where people ship everyone with everyone just because of hey... bromances, while in my opinion most of them have seriously nothing gay about them and most of them just do normal bro things. Like how can Kuroko and Kagami be seen as smth romantic I still don’t get. Or like Aomine and Kagami thing??? They are like freaking twins. Same with Kise and Kasamatsu, Midorima and Akashi ships and many others.

Like we see Kuroko and how he behaves with everyone. Firstly he was shadow for everybody: Kise, Aomine, Kagami and he was good with every one of them. Kuroko is a people’s person, he is caring, he thinks about others a lot, he cares about everyone including Haizaki who is an ass tbh, so it’s also nothing special (I mean that way you can ship him even with Kyoshi xD). Aomine is special for Kuroko bc he understands him the most on the field, Kise is his main rival, Kagami is his least problematic light, Murasakibara is his favorite as a person... etc, this way you can ship Kuroko with anyone. 

But... someone gets what none of them get. Like Kuroko never checked anybody out or said compliments... but he did think Akashi looked yummy in his kimono at the festival. Kuroko never told anybody a zillion words “it’s all because of you” speech... except for one person. None of them made his heart crack and cry rivers when they left him... except one. And I just loved how we get this with everyone:

And then suddenly this happens:

Lol okay, blue-shems. He gives him his food and asks questions about “who’s his type and his special one”, like... you know he doesn’t do that with anyone else. And Akashi is not his bestie. So yeah, explain this as “bromance”.

Same with Akashi. He forms the new team. He actually misses Kuroko so much that he goes and finds a copy of him. The ONLY GOM member he can’t go without and it’s proved after Kuroko asked him on the interview “who is the person you scared to lose the most” and Akashi answers “you.. it’s you, Kuroko”. Now... hold the horses. We all know that Midorima is his bestie, there’s no contest there, which brings us to the fact that he places Kuroko higher than his best friend which makes Kuroko his... what exactly? 

It’s just some things can’t be BRO things.

Like when you cover your eyes and going “dude, don’t show your package in public, zip it, no one wants to see that”, that’s what I’m like when I accidentally see my sister’s boob. That’s how Makoto behaves when he sees naked Nagisa and Haru who’s undressing.

Opposite to Rin oggling Haru half naked and Haru shaking before touching Rin. That’s clearly not how you feel about your “just friend”. Everyone who has bffs must confirm that they don’t get nervous about touching them or them touching you cause you’re comfortable with that. Does this make any sense? I hope, it does. I’m not very good at explaining.

Now about Haikyuu. Haha I’ve been avoiding this so much, cause I didn’t want ppl to throw stones at me. I’ve tried.. I really tried to watch it twice. Once I got to ep8, 2nd time I asked my sister to watch with me (cause it’s funnier that way, that’s how we got through durarara without dying xD) and I still gave up after ep14.

It’s not only just that I was bored and I thought it’s gonna get exciting but it didn’t (bc I’m more of an interesting characters > an interesting plot person), it’s just.. it was episode 14 and I didn’t even find any character who would interest me cause they were so cliche. Especially Hinata. He’s like that super typical main from what I called the “never give up it’s such a wonderful life” bunch that I really deeply respect, but kinda so very tired of them lol. But he’s also from the loud bunch.. and I think I still hear Asta’s voice sometimes, even though I’ve dropped Black Clover after ep10 like a year ago xD

Now I can’t make judgements about the whole thing cause I didn’t watch it, but from what I saw (I mean “shipping scenes” from tumblr) and asked from ppl who has seen the whole thing (one huge fan and another one - not a huge fan, my sister), I got the idea that this anime is more bromancy that romancy. And there are no couples there like “without you I have nothing to aim for and I want a future with you” or “you made my life a dream and you’re the light of my life and I’m scared to lose you the most” like there are in free or knb. 

Now my sister has finished it 4 months later and said that it was just okay. And I was like “okay, but what about ships?” because I’m willing to close my eyes on the plot of the ships are good. And she went “well... two mains, I guess” and she was so apathetic about it that I was like “If she who ships much more than me is like that then I won’t see anything there” xD

But... like if you have anything to say to convince me or interest me in it, I’m willing to listen. If you have smth that would make wanna try for the 3rd time, I’ll even record how did it go xD.

[danidoesathing]

ok! i’ve got the beginning and end written, it’s the middle that i need to write still, and it’s disgustingly sweet (i’ll post it to ao3 when i’ve got it finished bc i refuse to upload an unfinished work). also lemme know if you wanna read the ending as well, i wasn’t sure (it, too, is fluffy to hell and back)

Chapter 1:

Tim hated this. He hated it all. He’d rather be anywhere else in the world if he could, he could’ve been at home in his room with his laptop and Jay to talk to, but instead he was here with his mom who thought that she had any right to his life after leaving it for good (when he was twelve years old in a mental hospital too, who did that to their child?) and apparently forgot why she did, since she wouldn’t shut up. He’d had enough by the third hour of the “vacation” she took him to, and maybe if he hadn’t hated pity as much as he did, especially from the one that caused him to be pitied, he would have enjoyed the five-star hotel stay more, rather than feel like he was stuck in one long panic attack. He had managed to get away, though. He excused himself to the bathroom and felt grateful she had allowed him that much. He didn’t pay too much attention to the walk to the bathroom - he was trying to breathe in and out regularly and count to ten and pay attention to what he felt and all the other coping methods they taught him in the ten years he spent in the psych ward. He only realized there was someone else in the bathroom when the person (Tim assumed they were male, this was the men’s bathroom) sighed and firmly said, “I need more time, you can’t just ruin my entire life to gain a few weeks.” 

Brian had really been looking forward to the week he’d spend on his own - privacy and being alone weren’t really concepts that his family understood, and it had only gotten worse when the marriage proposal came. He’d tried to explain countless times that he was gay and that he would rather marry a frog than the fake, manipulative, entitled, rude, homophobic, racist, bitchy, but most importantly rich girl his parents had chosen for him to marry. As if he’d spend more than a minute within a five-mile radius of the piece of shit who wanted his money and his name, nothing else. When the call from his mother (Brian had stopped calling Carol Thomas his mom years ago, when she first started denying his issues and instead punished him for things he couldn’t control) came, he escaped to the bathroom since it was closer than his room, even though it was a lot less private. He didn’t think anything would go wrong, it wasn’t busy at the restaurant and even if someone entered, they would probably leave him alone to suffer in his misery. 

Brian hadn’t noticed the tired man who slunk into the bathroom at first, but when he saw the defeated slump of his shoulders and how utterly exhausted his eyes looked, his mother demanded that he come home the next day. He was pretty sure that everyone within the state could hear his sigh, and he thought about how he had gotten so sick of his own family that this was the case with every conversation he had with them. After his final compromise, he hung up without saying goodbye or waiting for Carol to respond. He knew what she would have said anyway, was far too familiar with the same conversation.

Tim hesitated, trying to figure out what to do - he couldn’t just leave and pretend he’d heard nothing, but he didn’t know this man, like, at all, so he also couldn’t try to comfort him or ask him what was wrong, because something clearly was. 

“Family problems,” Brian said into the silence, which was probably just a few seconds long but to Tim’s anxiety-ridden mind it was a lifetime of waiting. 

Tim smiled slightly. “I’m familiar.” 

Brian made an interested noise.  “You tell me about your life, and I tell you ‘bout mine, alright?” 

He understood what sort of deal this was, he was used to therapists and doctors and psychiatrists trying to take his brain apart and figure out what was wrong with him, to try to fix him (or that’s what they said, but he wasn’t sure there weren’t any other reasons behind their words). He despised being treated like a wild animal who could lose his mind and attack at any moment, with a single wrong move. They had treated him like he was dangerous and they pitied him for it, but Brian, he hadn’t looked scared of Tim. He hadn’t acted like he was trying to play it safe - rather, he had tried to make Tim feel comfortable by making himself as vulnerable as Tim was. He realized that he didn’t want to strangle Brian. I’ve spent so much time with psychologists that I’ve started acting like one, analyzing everything and everyone’s actions. Tim laughed internally at the thought. 

“Sure. I don’t have anything else to do anyway,” He responded, and told Brian about his current predicament with his mother, leaving out the parts in which he was at the hospital - he just said that he had a chronic illness and his mom had left him at 12 when he had been in the hospital for four years. 

“Shit, dude, that really sucks. She doesn’t have any right to your life now, you know that right?” Brian said at the end of Tim’s story, after a short pause to take it all in. “I’m going to sound like a whiny white asshole with my story now,” he added. Tim shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. After all, my life doesn’t invalidate yours,” he said, and the corners of Brian’s mouth twitched up. “I guess you’re right,” he said, and started explaining how his parents wanted him to marry a rich woman high up the ladder of status in the elite community he was born into, and Tim could feel himself tensing up and his mind starting to buzz. 

Brian noticed that the man in front of him was looking a little off, and stopped midway through describing that he only had the next week or so to find his soulmate, otherwise he’d be stuck with someone he hated for the rest of his life. “Hey, are you okay?” He asked softly, and the other man (Brian only just realized that he knew this man’s life story but not his name, and mentally reprimanded himself for not introducing himself and asking his name) took a shuddering breath. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, and Brian didn’t call him out on his bullshit. “Please continue, I’m way too invested in your life now.” He smiled, and Brian laughed. 

“Alright, but first, you have to tell me your name because I’ve realized we haven’t introduced ourselves and it’s killing me,” Brian said.

“My name’s Tim Wright.”

“Brian Thomas. Nice to meet you, I guess,” Tim rolled his eyes at Brian’s antics, but Brian knew he was amused, as evidenced by Tim’s light snort. Tim told him to get on with the story, (a bit like a whining child, but in a good way, Brian thought) and he responded with, “Okay, okay, I’ll get to it then.”

“There isn’t much left,” Brian warned. When Tim nodded his understanding, he continued from where he had stopped, and when he had finished talking about his current fucked-up situation, the other man had been shocked into silence. 

“You have to be kidding me,” he finally said. “There’s no way that that shit’s real and actually happening to you.” 

Brian shook his head and sighed. “I wish I was, but nope! My parents are just assholes who are outta their minds.” 

Tim thought for a second - he had to do something, but he didn’t know what he could to be able to help. He chewed on his lip, and after a minute or so, had an idea that he thought could possibly work. 

“How about we pretend that we’re soulmates?” he asked Brian, who looked taken aback but also as if he was considering Tim’s proposition. Tim was about to backtrack and apologize, maybe say something along the lines of or we can just not do that if you don’t want to I’m sorry for bringing it up you must think I’m so creepy and weird and can we just ignore this ever happened?  

But then Brian nodded thoughtfully, and said, “Actually, I can imagine how that would work. I’d call my parents and tell them that I’ve already found my soulmate and that I want to spend more time with you, and you’d talk to them in order to convince them further if they don’t believe me. I already know I’m gay, so my soulmate is definitely a man, so your voice being a guy’s wouldn’t be a problem and when I find my actual soulmate, if they sound different to you, we could just blame it on the phone being weird through the call. We could say that we wanna spend a few weeks getting to know each other before I leave, and during that time I could find my real soulmate. If I can’t, then we can come up with scenarios in which I’d need to stay longer until I do. Yeah, actually, this is a really good idea, Tim.” 

“Uh, really? I mean, thanks,” Tim said, still reeling from Brian’s rambling. “How are we going to do this? Do you like, I don’t know, wanna call your parents and I can talk to them?”

“Yeah, sure, give me a sec,” Brian fished in his pocket for his phone and Tim internally panicked while Brian called his mother. He would have had a panic attack, but before he could truly get worked up, Brian was already talking. 

“Hey mother, guess what happened - no, you’ll never guess - I found my soulmate! And he’s a guy like I said he would be! Oh, you don’t want my soulmate to be a man? Well, unfortunately, apparently the universe doesn’t share your homophobic views - oh come on, would I lie about this? You don’t believe me? Fine, I guess I’ll have to prove it. Mother, meet Tim.”

“Hello Mrs. Thomas, it’s nice to meet you,” Tim said, and Brian couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen, and he didn’t want Tim to be there for it. He hated his parents, and the thought of them hurting Tim in any way was unbearable. Wait, what? I met him like 15 minutes ago, why do I care so much about him? He was going to figure out his feelings regarding Tim, but then he saw how he was getting anxious, so he decided to intervene now and unpack his shit later. 

Grabbing the phone from Tim, he told his parents that he and Tim wanted to get to know each other by staying at the hotel for longer, and when they objected, he simply reminded them that he was his own person and as an adult, he could do whatever the fuck he wanted to do, slowly getting more pissed off with every word that his parents said. Knowing that he would snap if he listened to more of their bullshit, he hung up after letting them know he would stay for a few more weeks in Ohio, though probably in a motel (he wasn’t rich enough to spend weeks at a five-star hotel). He looked at Tim. “Are you okay? You looked pretty freaked out there, and I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have put that much pressure on-”

“No, no, you’re fine. I guess I just felt overwhelmed, sort of? I don’t really know why I felt so anxious, but I’ve been dealing with anxiety for, like, 16 years. I should be used to it by now,“ Tim assured Brian. "Plus, it worked, didn’t it? they weren’t happy, but they seem to have believed us, so you can stay for a few more weeks and try to find your soulmate. Actually, why are you searching in Ohio and not Alabama anyway? Aside from the obvious reason, of course.” he added. 

Brian frowned. “I don’t really know, I guess this just felt closer to my soulmate. You know how your mark is supposed to like, tingle and shit?” Tim nodded, and Brian continued. “Yeah, I guess that’s why - Ohio feels like I’m closer to finding them than in Alabama." 

"Yeah, I think I get it. It feels the same for me too, if I think about it - my mark feels weird and that’s never happened before, so I must be doing something right,” Tim said after thinking for a while, and Brian laughed.

“Hey, who knows, maybe we’ll find our soulmates in here, and maybe we’ll find them at around the same time - that would be so cool! You know, I think I rather like you, Tim. I’d like to be friends - if you wanna, of course,” Brian said, and Tim answered with an affirmative. 

“Well, you’re pretty cool yourself Brian Thomas, and I would indeed like to be friends, but I really gotta go. Emily’s probably going out of her mind, wondering where her son she found after 12 years went to,” Tim joked, and they exchanged numbers. 

“ So, I still have a week or so left, which means I’ll probably see you around the hotel and shit. Bye Tim,” Brian called as he left the bathroom, and Tim waved back before following.

  Chapter 2:

Brian walked back to his room, since he had already finished his dinner, and contemplated the last hour. He had gone from having to fight his parents for less than a week to find his soulmate to being given permission (well, sort of. Brian thought it counted if they had always encouraged him to do something until it actually got to the point in which said thing would be applicable - they couldn’t just change their minds because they were homophobic assholes) for almost a month doing whatever he wanted wherever he wanted to. 

Of course, there was also Tim. He didn’t quite understand why he liked Tim already, or why Tim had helped him, but he knew that he didn’t regret it at all. Plus, they were friends now, and he felt that they would only get closer with time. He’d arrived at his room by this point, and after entering, he decided that he wouldn’t get anything else done today. Within minutes he was in bed - no point pretending to be functional when there was nobody around to see it, and plus, he was very sleep-deprived and he should probably go to sleep to fix that. 

Since he’d been lying still with his eyes closed for over an hour, Brian believed that he was justified in going on his phone. However, once he opened his phone, he realized that he didn’t really have anything to do, and in a moment of boredom and apathy for his future, he decided to text Tim.

  savingprivatebrian [23:42]: Hey tim

  savingprivatebrian [23:42]: it’s me brian

  savingprivatebrian [23:42]: if you couldn’t tell

  He was surprised to see that Tim was online, and soon enough, he saw Tim’s typing bubble pop up.

  Tim [23:44]: yeah 

Tim [23:44]: i saved your number

  Tim [23:44]: anyway whats up

  Brian smiled because of course Tim was awake, he totally seemed like the type of person who’s constantly tired and sleep-deprived.

  savingprivatebrian [23:44]: nothing

  savingprivatebrian [23:45]: i just couldnt sleep

  Tim [23:45]: i get that

Tim [23:46]: insomnias a bitch

  savingprivatebrian [23:46]: yep

savingprivatebrian [23:47]: so do you wanna just talk until we can sleep

  Tim [23:47]: please

He laughed at Tim’s response, and settled comfortably into his nest of pillows (perks of five-star hotels) to talk to Tim.

In the end, they both agreed to go to sleep at around 3:30 in the morning, after having texted for almost four hours. If he wasn’t so sleepy, he might’ve wondered why conversation was so easy when he was talking to Tim when he normally wouldn’t be able to even form sentences with people he knew as little as he knew Tim. Instead, though, he placed his phone on the bedside drawer, rolled over, and fell asleep within minutes, still with a little smile playing on his lips.

  Chapter 3:

  A week later, Tim’s mother left to go back to work, and Tim promised her that he’d come to visit every now and then. He was surprised to find that he was planning to keep that promise - after his mom explained her reasons, he learned that she hadn’t left because she wanted to, only because she had to. Her life had been easier without him, and that realization hurt. He had held her back her entire life, and he really couldn’t blame her for having done whatever she could to get rid of the reason she couldn’t be happy. He was over it, though. He had had more than a decade to come to terms with the fact that everyone he cared about would leave him eventually, when they realized that he would always be problematic, that he would never get better, and that he would always drag them down. Why would anyone stay with that?

Then came was Brian. Tim knew that he was falling, falling hard, but he also knew that Brian didn’t feel the same - they both wanted to find their soulmates, and even if Brian did like someone as fucked up as Tim, when he found his soulmate, he’d just leave. 

He had told Brian about his mom and how he felt, as well as why he was in a hospital for 10 years, and Brian’s only reaction was to hug him (they didn’t notice that no parts of their skin had made contact, Tim would later realize) and telling him that he’d never leave. That was a bigger deal than Brian realized, and he had broken down crying, which caused Brian to start crying too. They had spent about 2 hours talking about their problems, and Tim left Brian’s room feeling better than he had for over a month. They had only been friends for a few days at that point, but there was no denying that they had a connection - they were already so, so close (and if Tim wanted them to be even closer, well, no-one had to know). 

Jay had called, on the second day. He had asked what was going on and why the hell Tim hadn’t texted or called him - rightfully so, since they usually talked daily and it had been more than 2 days with nothing. Tim had ranted about Brian and his mom, but it had taken Jay about ten minutes into Tim’s monologue to point out that he was totally crushing on Brian, and Tim had found himself unable to argue. After talking for over an hour, Jay had hung up with a threat to Tim if he didn’t text him everything that happened. 

Tim thought back to that conversation many times over the following days - he could trust Jay to call him out on his bullshit and help him work through it, and he knew Jay could do the same. Whenever his anxiety convinced him that they simply tolerated his presence and actually hated him, Tim would text Jay (and now Brian) and Jay would not stop texting him until Tim had no doubt left about their friendship.

On his last day in the hotel, a week after he arrived and met Brian, he had breakfast with Brian to talk about what they were going to do, since this was Brian’s last day too. 

“Over here,” Brian called out as Tim walked into the restaurant in the hotel, from which they got free breakfast. 

“Hey,” Tim said when he sat down. “You wanna go get some food? I’m starving.”

“Yeah, sure. Just a second,” Brian put his stuff on the extra chair, and connected his phone to a charger. “My battery’s at 12 percent,” he explained at Tim’s questioning look.

“Alright, let’s go. What do you wanna get?” Brian asked when they entered the self-service area.

“Eggs and bacon first, so they cook, but I’ll look around anyway to see what’s there,” Tim answered while grabbing a plate.

“Why didn’t you get a fork and knife too?”

“Because I’ll drop them, Brian.” 

“Ha, weak.”

“Do you really want to try me?” 

“Geez, you’re just so scary.”

“I know.” 

They had reached the omelette station, and they waited for their orders to be cooked in comfortable silence, which was new to both of them. Shaking his head, Tim decided to ignore his lack of friends while he was so happy and had the chance to spend time with someone who not only could tolerate him, but also wanted to befriend him. 

He was brought back to reality by Brian nudging him, and snapped his eyes onto Brian in alarm, quickly realizing there was no threat, there was just his food (paranoia had become a reflex at this point, and he wasn’t sure whether he was supposed to laugh or cry because of it). 

Throughout breakfast, Tim found his eyes lingering more and more on Brian’s lips when all social and conversational norms stated that his gaze should be on his eyes or overall figure to watch his body language and hand gestures, so like everyone else who’s ever been in this situation, he decided, okay, we’re going to put these feelings of attraction in a box, now close it, and yep! Push it as far away from coherent thought as you can, right up against the childhood trauma, self-hatred, insecurity, and look! It’s the box of fear of abandonment. Now, we don’t think about these, so surely this’ll be safe here. After cataloging everything into the dark basement of his mind, buried deep under everything else and covered in the mental equivalent of cobwebs and a layer of dust over everything, he simply looked away from Brian’s mouth and focused on literally any other part of his body, like, like- his eyes! That would surely work, wouldn’t it? You can’t possibly mess eye contact up, even though you’re, well, you, Tim. Don’t fuck this up with your social incompetence.

Yeah, no. After only a few minutes of trying to draw his attention away from what Brian would taste like, he found out that eyes are just as dangerous as lips, since he found that it was easier than it should be to get lost in Brian’s warm hazel eyes. He never realized that there were rings of different colours, and with the light framing his face, he looked otherworldly, like he didn’t belong to planet Earth or at least had some kind of magic coursing through his veins, just like warmth was coursing through Tim’s as he drowned in the ocean of brown and green filling Brian’s eye sockets. Because he was drowning, drowning, drowning as he forgot to breathe, move, do anything at all in the haze that came over him.

-------------------------------

[bronanlynch]

I enjoyed doing this last week so this is. a thing now I guess. click through for roundup of whatever media I’ve been into in the past week (will normally be on thursdays I think bc that’s the day I’m usually free but my schedule this week was weird) (inspired by the tuesday again thing that @girlfriendsofthegalaxy does)

listening: the new Mountain Goats album Getting Into Knives is very fun and full of bops, for a given value of both “fun” and “bops” because it’s The Mountain Goats so it does have that edge of depression but quite a few of the songs are a bit more. cheerful? than a lot of their other stuff, for lack of a better word

favorite track is probably The Rat Queen

listening (podcast edition): this very fun episode of Overinvested tearing apart the new movie adaptation of Rebecca which I have not seen and was not planning on seeing but I do enjoy people smartly analyzing why things aren’t good and also I do love discussions about Gothic romance

reading: The Mermaid, the Witch, and the Sea by Maggie Tokuda-Hall is probably a very good book that someone else will enjoy very much, as lots of people whose opinions I generally trust already have enjoyed it. and I possibly will enjoy more if I give it another chance, once I’ve gotten over being disappointed that it wasn’t what I was looking for right now. the premise is neat! the worldbuilding is cool! the characters are interesting! mermaids, witches, and seas are three of my favorite things and also there are pirates, my other fave thing!

the reason I bounced off of it so hard is that I kept seeing it hyped up as a trans/nonbinary book, and then felt kinda let down when I started reading it and realized that the main character whom I’ve seen described as genderqueer is 1) dressing as a guy because someone else suggested it for safety reasons and 2) this was several years before the story starts and this character still refers to herself exclusively (disclaimer that I didn’t read the full thing but. as far as I got and also I skimmed toward the ending) as she and by her feminine birthname. and those things are fine, that’s a valid gender story, nonbinary people can absolutely keep their old pronouns and names and it doesn’t make them any less nonbinary, but the way it was framed in the parts that I read felt to me more like the old classic ‘girl dresses as guy for plot reasons’ thing, which isn’t something I personally wanted to read more of right now, especially not when I went in expecting something that would resonate more with my gender experience

watching: I’ve been rewatching Leverage, since I only ever watched the first season many years ago because that’s what was free on hulu at the time, and the thing that’s really getting to me is how fundamentally hopeful it is. like, yeah, sure, the premise of it is about how capitalism is designed to fuck people over and there is A Lot about specifically health insurance being really really awful. so there are parts of it that are a lil bit too real, but then at the end of the day they always win and punish the rich capitalists and help their victims and it’s just. nice to see that kind of happy ending

the specific episode I’m having lots of thoughts about is the Mile High Job, which is about the team is trying to protect a potential corporate whistleblower from being murdered by her coworker while on an airplane. at first they’re not sure what’s going on because they weren’t expecting two people from the corporation to be on that flight, so they don’t know which person is the one they should be focusing on. one of them is an anxious younger woman and the other is an extremely generic man, and from the moment they decided that the woman was the one they had to protect I was dreading the plot twist of “no actually you just helped her take out her target and you should’ve been protecting the other guy” which would’ve felt just. so mean-spirited and cynical but it’s the kind of thing I expect from media I guess. and then once it was clear that nope, that twist wasn’t going to happen, I expected her to turn around at the end and be like “actually no I’m not gonna testify against the corporation because I’ve realized how dangerous it is.” and I kind of hate that I’ve become so jaded by both media and also the real world that I’m so ready to expect the most cynical option, because I’m not used to stories about how even though the system is corrupt and oppressive and exploitative, people can still help each and they do and sometimes they make things better

playing: got back into playing Dishonored after taking a couple weeks off because I got stuck and frustrated and also kept playing for too long at a time and giving myself headaches. Lady Boyle’s Last Party (which I am going to completely and entirely spoil so if you don’t want that this is your warning) is probably the mission that I have the strongest mixed feelings about. I love the approach to the party, I love the concept of sneaking into a masquerade ball, I love signing the guestbook with your actual legal wanted fugitive name while wearing the mask that you commit all of your crimes in, I love a good fancy party mission I cannot stress that enough it’s the sexiest possible setting

HOWEVER. trying to sneak around upstairs fucking sucks because the ceilings aren’t high enough for there to be places to hide, like convenient hanging lamps or pipes to blink up to. my least favorite room in this entire game is that art gallery because you can get on top of the cases and you think you’re safe because you’re Up but then the guards spot you instantly and sound the alarm and the entire party shuts down and then you let them kill you so that you can go back to your last save

ADDITIONALLY, fuck the nonlethal option for this one. I hate it so much and feel so incredibly gross about choosing it but I also feel extremely not great about tricking her into meeting me alone and then actually assassinating her. the conversation is so uncomfortable that I tried to be like “actually no nevermind” which causes her to think you’re weird and creepy and she has the guards ““throw you out”“ which apparently in Dunwall is just how you say that she’s gonna have the guards murder you. but anyway. she's a shitty rich lady but she doesn't deserve either of the things that could happen to her and she's only a target because she's sleeping w a guy who sucks. she hasn’t done anything! she isn’t actually responsible for what happened to Jessamine or Emily! which works on a narrative level in my opinion because this is the last mission before you go after the lord regent and it’s becoming clear that the loyalists are just using Corvo for their own agenda and don’t actually care about Jessamine. but it’s still unpleasant to be the one enacting it, y’know?

also on a narrative level, I really like the concept of doing a clean hands run except killing each of the actual targets, because I feel like that would be a cool inversion of the trope where the hero kills a bunch of mooks and then refuses to kill the big bad because murder is wrong. on a gameplay level, I’m still gonna do the nonlethal options because I refuse to risk getting the bad ending, and I’m proud of the fact that I haven’t killed anyone since getting out of prison. I do wanna do a high chaos playthrough at some point though just to see how it goes, since I went low chaos last time too

sorry for writing an entire essay about Dishonored but. the funniest thing from that mission is that apparently if you get spotted by one of the maids in the basement where you are not supposed to be (the guards will immediately attack if they see you) instead of raising the alarm she just says “welcome to the party.” love that solidarity.

making: none of my cosplay stuff is at an especially picture-worthy stage and I didn’t get pictures of the pesto I made for dinner last night so there’s not gonna be much that’s interesting here but I did go to Spirit Halloween after Halloween when everything was on clearance and got a bunch of stuff that I’m gonna use for cosplay eventually

writing: soon I will finish the Eddis/Attolia Queen’s Thief fic that’s been rattling around in my brain ever since I finished the last book. hopefully.

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Troy’s Crystal Necklaces are IMPORTANT AND IDK HOW and other insane ramblings

No matter what happens from here on out, I think those crystals are important and I GOTTA know what they’re for! At the very least, they’re important to me. So cool... So glowy... *o* I want one...

So there are a couple possibilities for what they could be used for and my main guess is Stealing/Storing/Transferring Siren powers (Yes, I know, that’s probably Tyrene’s power, but, hey, humor me! I think it’d be an interesting twist to something we already know.)

Troy being able to steal siren powers and possibly keep them in the glowy crystals around his neck? Hell yeah! How? I have no fuckin’ clue!

Since his tattoos are red they could be derived from the crystals and, if this is the case, he is probably the one who stole Lilith’s tattoos during the trailer and possibly transfers them to Tyrene. (I’ll get more into this later as to why I don’t think he kept them) I lowkey kinda think they’re like raw seraph crystals or smth bc male siren goes against all the lore (maybe he’s like a seraph himself or some bullshit? yaknow, red vs blue... or he just used the crystals to steal a siren’s tattoos and put them on himself...) unless he’s actually trans which I'm afraid they wouldn’t have the balls to do. but oh mama if he is, that representation will be like nothing we’ve ever seen

Troy having gotten Siren powers from his sister Tyrene stealing them and giving them to him? I mean,,, yeah that’s probably what happened but GLOWY MAGIC CRYSTALS THE ERIDIANS DIDN’T LIKE BECAUSE SERAPHS COULD THEN STEAL THEIR POWERS AND USE THEM AGAINST THEM IN WAR (THAT IS [APPARENTLY] COMING)??? Now that’s some good reintegration shit mhmmmm. The Eridium buffeth and the Seraph taketh away.

Also, a siren being able to steal another siren’s powers seems kinda counterintuitive. Her power is useless unless she meets other sirens (THERE ARE 6 IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE - despite what the games want us to believe, that’s pretty fuckin’ rare!) and what is it even used for? All the other sirens we’ve met have very powerful, combat-oriented skills (even w/ Angel, while I’m still not sure what her power was exactly tbh. technological integration? (Phaseshift-ing of the bits???) that’s p powerful with Eridian tech I'm sure). If the Sirens were created by Eridians, they were probably made to be on the same side. If that’s the case, wouldn’t it make a lot more sense for something that didn’t want the Sirens around to have the power to steal theirs and redistribute them to their own forces?

Consider:

and

I mean, after all, “their return is to be feared” and Seraph crystals only started appearing after the opening of the second vault on Pandora (which could be triggering the return of the Seraphs... thus causing them to want to plunder vaults/kill Sirens? who knows lol). Also, the cultists leaving Pandora and heading to Promethea could very well be bringing back Seraph crystals. Shit, the guy you sell the crystals to in order to get some seriously powerful gear could have been shipping them off to Promethea. 

My only problem is they’re pink, not red, but it might be a product of activating them/”storing” the siren powers in them/some weird bullshit. I know raw eridium is a shade or two darker than processed Eridium, so it could possibly be some bullshit like “raw seraph crystals are redder while processed seraph crystals are pink” or something.

Actually, now that I think about it, the only way to get Seraph crystals is through Seraph Guardians. Disregarding the Dragons bc its a DnD Campaign, the Seraph Guardians are all hopped up on whatever the seraph crystals did to them. Maybe the crystals are drained of their power once we kill the Seraph Guardians and that is why they are that shade of pink. Maybe when they’re charged up they’re a more saturated red color. I mean, Hyperius is able to grow to the size of a skyscraper and Gee can absorb elemental damage so 👀

This is all a huge reach, but I’m having fun, so let’s continue.

Now there is this tidbit from the Battleborn Easter Egg: “VISIT PROMET[H]EA CHILDREN OF THE VAULT. WE ARE NOT ON PANDORA ANYMORE. TANNIS IS NOT WHAT SHE SEEMS. DO NOT OPEN THE VAULTS”. Ignoring the Tannis bit, I’m very curious why they don’t want the vaults open. Maybe it would bring about the return of the Eridians and they don’t want that? I mean... technically the Watcher is already back after opening only 2 vaults (Pandora1 and Elpis). Which is a whole nother thing that I could totally get into if the twins (either of them) are actually stealing people’s Siren powers lmao, be it with just the magic crystals or their own magic alien powers. The war the Watcher mentions could 100% be against the Calypso twins. I can’t help but wonder if it should be something bigger though lmao... sounded so ominous... 

Now of the theory that Tyrene is the one who can steal powers and gave Lilith’s to Troy: Totally possible. Boring, but possible. There is that screenshot of her holding a really glowing lookin’ orb (AND THE INSIDE IS GLOWING REDDISH: THE SAME COLOR AS TROY’S CRYSTALS OHHHHH-) which is probably someone’s Siren powers. My only way to dispute this is to say she also doesn’t have any facial tattoos like Lilith does, (Angel doesn’t have facial tattoos either) though Maya and Steele did have tattoos on their faces, and Troy totally does have a unique facial tattoo that wouldn’t match up with Lilith’s at all (I mention this because it could hint that she is the one to get the powers transferred onto her, not the other way around). Also, immediately after the scene with the image below, there is a shot of an area being absolutely BLITZED by fireballs and Lilith is usually associated with fire (Firehawk).

I do think this snapshot happens right after they steal Lilith's powers. Tyrene looks so smug like “oh, let’s see what this baby can DO”. So either she just got Lilith’s powers, or she’s about to shove her glowing ball into her brother and idk which is worse lol

Now, I mentioned before that Troy has facial tattoos, which don’t match up with Lilith’s tattoos at all. You would think transferring the powers would transfer over the same tattoos. But Alas, to disprove this part of the theory, Tyrene actually has a unique set of tattoos as well, as far as I can tell. 

Her tattoos. I can’t tell if Troy’s are similar or not because of her jacket, but you can catch a glimpse of them here! (At least, I think those are his tattoos. His arm is kinda a weird gray color...  🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 Maybe the transference did an ouch of some kind)

AFAIK neither of these match Lilith’s.

Also, fun fact! Tyrene is the only Siren we’ve seen to not show off her chest tattoos. IDK if its a Siren thing or if they just want to show off their cleavage or what, but unlike the others, her clothes are not revealing whatsoever (in fact, she seals up her neck and stuff? Is weird). Troy, on the other hand, looks like he went on a shopping spree with Macklemore and V from DMC5. He’s also showing a fair bit of abdomen lol (Have you seen his ab tattoo that says Calypso? Neat). Interestingly enough, his red tattoos don’t seem to go down the left side of his abdomen like Siren tattoos do (easily seen on Lilith), nor his chest, and although they could be hidden by his jacket, I don’t think that’s the case. 

Also, I kinda wanna go on a tangent here and talk about his face? At first, I thought he had maybe gotten some Glasgow scars, but if you look up where his sideburns are, that is way too clean and almost mechanical to be scarring (plus, its super symmetrical, he has one right down the middle of his chin as well- which interestingly enough is not visible on his bust in the Mask of Mayhem... then again neither are Tyrene’s scars. Worship at its finest). My first thought after that was that he peeled someone’s face off and stapled it to his own 😅 I mean! He works with psychos, right? It’s not too far fetched? right? (tbh the placement of the metal bits (cheekbones, cheeks, one on his chin) gives me a huge Jack vibe, so maybe it's just his homage to the man, the myth, the legend)

Maybe the tattoos are fake/implanted technology in order to keep the cult in check and the crystals are there to keep them powered/working. Maybe he had to get a face stapled back on after whatever took his arm ripped his face off too. Who knowwwws. Maybe he had to have head implants for his arm to work (if its a prosthetic like Rhys’s, it could just be a huge exoskeleton arm) and being on Promethea (Pandora for a while before they left as per the easter egg I guess), they probably don’t have the greatest medical expertise, unlike Hyperion. Also, the crystals could totally just be a power source for his arm. That’d be super badass, just rip it off his neck and shove it into that ring looking area and power up. I’ll be honest, we’re throwing theories at the wall here to see what sticks!

But back on the topic of Power Stealing! For either one having the power of transferring (be it magic crystals or magic alien space superpowers), they could already have taken another siren’s power and are just adding onto it. Could be the reason Troy has 2 crystals (one for lilith, one for another siren), could be the reason both their tattoos are different from all the sirens we’ve seen so far. 

Personally, I like the theory that they stole the new little girl character’s siren powers and we’re going to help her and Maya get them back. Somewhere in the process, Lilith probably loses her powers to them. It would explain why he has two crystals instead of just one. Maya probably knows all this smart shit about who the twins are and what their cult is and has a plan but needs our help getting to the twins. 

I also just came up with this now, but I like the idea that the little girl is either actually working with the Calypso twins or being manipulated by them in order to get Maya and Lilith to show up on Promethea. Think about it. They need/want to collect Siren powers, right? What better way to do so than to jerk at the heartstrings of two super powerful sirens with a huge connection to their own powers by sending a little girl out who “got hers stolen by some big bad cult leaders”. In the Mask of Mayhem trailer, we see the little girl a few times. At one point, in the top right, right next to Troy and Tyrene, we see an unfamiliar smoll character who looks like this (below) and has the beginnings of what I think are growing wings at her back (meaning Siren) although her left arm is covered, which might mean she probably doesn’t have tattoos. Yet.

Maybe she was promised her own powers if she lured the two Sirens to the Calypso twins. I was going to use her earrings and gages to see if they were the same character but the girl below just so happened to be conveniently wearing a pair of headphones lol. Maybe its just coincidence. I do think their hair is different, the statue has a bun/ponytail, but that could be solved by her chopping it off with that huge knife or keeping it in a bun and keeping her hood up. Maybe the two characters are twins themselves and one joined the cult and the other wants to help her leave. Who knowwwwwsssss

I don’t trust her lies.

Also, one more thing, during the scene with Lilith on the floor, when they’re locking arms, Troy pulls away first, while Tyrene slowly retracts her hand like she’s unsure of what to do. Not the greatest of proofs indeed, but something to think about. Perhaps he’s just impatient to try out his new powers. Maybe he’s done this before and knows what he’s doing. She could just be annoyed and is giving him a death glare behind that fabulous collar. We may never know. There are plenty of ways to read into it.

Of course, Tyrene seems like to big boss type out of the whole thing anyway, so its more than likely she is the one that has the power to take and transfer Siren powers. She is the one in the Mask of Mayhem with the wings, and I find it interesting that they made it a point to have Troy’s left arm (the arm Sirens have their tattoos on!!) to be “under construction” during the video. It’s very likely the reason is because he gets his tattoos through his sister during the game. If that’s the case, well fuckin’ played Gearbox. Foreshadowing 100.

Shit, idk, maybe it's all just some weird shit that happens when your twin is a Siren. You get like... negative siren powers. it would explain his Shadow the Hedgehog color scheme smh. She stole all the blue pigment from him in the womb so he’s just red in the places her tattoos are lmao

Maybe his crystals are just Promethea’s version of Eridium, after all, the Vault key here seems to be producing a shitton of red light. be weird tho, since eridium didnt exist until we opened the vault so... maybe tannis just grabbed one of them siren-power-holding-crystals you just brought her after beating the shit out of an emo biker fuck and shoved in the vault key and prayed it would work while t-posing to assert dominance

who knowwwwwsss 

[robinrunsfiction]

Best Laid Plans (Ryan Seaman x Reader)

Pairing: Ryan Seaman x Reader Rating: General Requested By: scrolling-my-life-away “Ok so either with frank or Ryan S (bc there are not enough of him) where band members keep trying to awkwardly get y’all together but it’s super cute and just lots of fluff!” Word Count: 1,700 Author’s Note: Wrote it with Ryan Seaman because there really needs to be more of him! Also what is with me and cute old people in Ryan stories?

"I can't stand it any longer," Dallon announced. "I refuse to sit by idly any longer, I have to do something."

"Babe, they're adults, they'll figure it out soon enough, don't worry about it." Dallon paced around the front of the bus as Breezy looked on, slightly exasperated.

"No, this is getting excruciating, I'm taking action." With that Dallon marched over to where you and Ryan were talking.

"Hey guys," he said with a sweet tone. “I'm bored, and I was just talking to Breezy and we've never been to this next city before, so we're thinking we can pair off and do a photo scavenger hunt.”

“Oh fun!” You replied. “Boys versus girls?”

“No!” Dallon quickly snapped and both you and Ryan looked at him surprised. “I just wanna spend some time with my wife, why don't you guys team up. I’ll send out the lists when we get there.”

You had been traveling with the band photographing all their shows and backstage moments. You considered yourself to be the documentarian of the beginning of the rise of IDKHow. When you were first hired on, you clicked with the band immediately, but more so with Ryan. You always kept it professional, but you somehow ended up with more shots of the drummer than what you could reasonably use. Ryan always seemed to gravitate to you whenever he had a free moment, such as during the long hauls between cities, looking for any excuse to talk to you.

~

When you arrived in town Dallon had found, and then specifically edited, the scavenger hunt list, to make it so you were most likely to end up in a flirtatious situation of two.

“Sound check is at 5:30, so that’s the cut off. We will see you losers when we get back.”

“Yea right,” you retorted as you started to skim over the list. Breezy and Dallon hurried out of the bus as Ryan peered over your shoulder at the list on your phone.

“A flyer for a local event, we could use the concert tonight! A red door, a kissing couple, oh they’re just gonna take a selfie for that one, aren’t they?”

“That’s what we get for letting Dallon plan the list, I guess. Ready to go?”

“Let’s do this!”

You and Ryan wandered around the city center looking for options. The town they were playing was a university town and luckily the school colors were red and white, so red doors were plentiful. You took photos of the items, and Ryan posted updates to his Instagram stories.

“Hey guys, I’m out here hanging with (YN) and we are currently beating Dallon and Breezy at this scavenger hunt,” he said into the phone as you attempted to take a photo of some baby ducks. He watched you fondly as you made noises to get the ducks to look your way. “Hey (YN), wanna really mess up Dallon's game?”

“Obviously,” you replied, your competitive side taking over.

“Come here,” you sat down next to him as he started the next video. “Alright guys, if you’re coming to our show tonight, know that Dallon is wandering out down here, and if you like me and (YN) at all, you'll go get in their way, thanks!” He signed off with a laugh. You couldn't hide your surprise at the dirty trick he just played on them. “See how well their unfair advantage works now!” Ryan said getting up.

“We only have like 2 more left,” you said looking over the list. “A kissing couple,” you felt your cheeks turn a little pink thinking it would be so fun to lean up and kiss Ryan right then, but you weren’t a couple, and that’s what you needed. You scanned the park and saw an old couple getting ice cream for the grandson. “Bingo!” you said as you started over toward them.

“Excuse me, are you two married?” You asked politely as you approached.

“45 years!” the old man exclaimed with a smile that put a smile on Ryan and your faces as well.

“We're doing a photo scavenger hunt and we need a photo of a couple kissing; can we take your photo?” Ryan asked.

“We won't put it up on the internet or anything, it’s just for us to show the other team.”

“I suppose that would be fine,” the old lady said before turning to her husband with her lips puckered. They kissed long enough for you to get a great photo of them with their grandson looking slightly disgusted off to the side. It was funny and cute.

“This turned out great, thank you so much for your help,” you said before walking away with Ryan.

“Why didn't they just kiss each other!” The old woman asked her husband when you were out of earshot.

“I thought they were going to ask me to take their picture with one of those smartphones, I’m glad they didn't, I probably would have deleted everything!”

~

You reconvened with Dallon and Breezy to review the photos you took. As you scrolled through your phones, comparing what they got versus your team, they got to a photo of them kissing.

“I knew that’s what you would do,” Ryan commented.

“Yea well, what did you guys do?” Dallon retorted.

“We met the cutest old couple, they’ve been married for 45 years!” You said pulling up the photo. Breezy aww'ed at the photo but Dallon threw up his hands, exasperated. You glanced at Ryan, who shot you a confused look as well as you continued comparing the results of the scavenger hunt.

~

A couple days later you were in another new town with an extra day before the show. These types of days were pretty rare on the tour, so everyone was excited. Dallon decided that it was time to try another way to get you and Ryan together.

"A bunch of us are going out to dinner tonight, you wanna come along?" Dallon asked you and Ryan casually that morning.

"Yea, sure sounds great," you said.

"Yea I'm in," Ryan replied.

"Perfect, the reservation will be under my name in case we're running like," Dallon said as he walked away.

"Why would he be late to his own dinner plans?" You asked.

"I dunno, but he's been acting weird lately."

You watched through narrowed eyes as Dallon went back over by his wife and started saying something to her. “Very suspicious.”

Ryan just shrugged. "I'm just excited to eat something on this tour besides fast food."

"Same," you replied.

~

You arrived at the restaurant a little early. You gave the hostess Dallon's name and you were led to a table for two secluded from the rest of the tables, lit warmly with a few small candles.

“I think there’s a mistake-” you started as the hostess sat you at the table.

“We were told you might say that, but no, this is for you,” she said before walking away.

You sat there for a few minutes feeling anxious, even more so when you saw who the hostess was bringing over.

“Hi Ryan,” you said when he sat down.

“(YN), wow, you look stunning.” You wear wearing the nicest dress you had brought with you on tour. It was short, black, and had an open back.

“Thanks, you look really nice as well. So, umm, I think I know what’s going on and why Dallon was acting so weird. We're being set up.”

“Definitely a set up,” Ryan replied with a laugh.

“I don't mind,” you said quietly.

Ryan raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Really? ‘Cause I don't either.”

You smiled warmly at Ryan, not sure what to say, but you were rescued by the waiter arriving at the table.

“Good evening, my name is Michael and I will be taking care of you tonight. I have been given specific instructions that Mr. Weekes will be taking care of the bill, so please do not hesitate when making your choices. Can I suggest a bottle of wine to get started?”

You were grinning by now, both because of the absurdity that Dallon wanted this to happen so badly, but also because you knew you were about to cut loose on that menu. “I think that sounds like a great idea, Michael.”

After a bottle of wine, almost too much food, and a lot of great conversation, you found Ryan holding your hand in his and he was smiling at you like he could hardly believe this was happening.

You and Ryan walked out of the restaurant hand in hand and down the street toward the hotel where you were all staying.

“Isn't there a park on the other side of the building?” you asked.

“Yea, I think I saw that, wanna check it out?”

“Yea,” you replied giving his hand a squeeze. You didn't want the night to end.

You walked along the path through the park, illuminated by old fashioned street lamps. Eventually you found a bench and sat down.

“Like I said before, I’m actually glad Dallon did this for us. I didn't really realize that you might have feelings for me,” you mumbled.

“I was thinking the same thing. And I didn't know if I should say anything before the tour ended, in case you didn't feel the same.”

“I’m glad this is working out,” you smiled. Ryan took the opportunity to place his hand on your cheek and leaned in, placing a sweet kiss on your lips and you kissed back. After a moment you pulled back and you were both smiling. Ryan wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you snugly against him and you rested your head on his shoulder.

“I was thinking,” you started. Ryan mmhmm'ed to let you know he was listening. “What if we play it off like this didn't work and we're still totally clueless to our feelings, just to see if we can get some more free meals put of it.”

Ryan laughed heartily at your suggestion. “That would drive him nuts! Maybe we should. Although I don't know if I can go back to not kissing you every time I want to.”

You looked up at him. “I agree, this is better.”

Masterlist

[gingercullenboy]

Movie Commentary Monday: Episode 1

Hello everyone and welcome to the very first episode of Movie Commentary Monday (or as i call MCM, which sounds ridiculous by the way) where I express my thoughts on a movie while desperately trying to be funny (and usually fail).

There will be dozens of side comments in brackets because I talk too much, sorry in advance.

This week’s movie is:

Isn’t It Romantic (2019)

Directed by: Todd Strauss-Schulson

Writing Credits: Erin Cardillo (screenplay&story), Dana Fox (screenplay) & Katie Silberman (screenplay)

Stars: Rebel Wilson, Liam Hemsworth, Adam Devine, Priyanka Chopra, Betty Gilpin, Brandon Scott Jones

Summary: A young woman disenchanted with love mysteriously finds herself trapped inside a romantic comedy.

(thanks IMDb)

Now, buckle up folks, it’s gonna be a loooooong ride. Let’s get down to business!

(this isn’t a Mulan reference)

Why is the Mom so bitter about happy endings? I bet she has seen things...

They don’t make movies for girls like us. 

THIS!!! LINE!!! IS!!! SO!!! IMPORTANT!!! 

That single sentence just basically summarized the entire history of Hollywood and you can’t argue with me on this. The evidence is there (sorry i’m bitter like mom) (i’m full of rage like younger john mulaney)

Natalie’s (Rebel Wilson) apartment is a mess and is so tiny, it’s like screaming YOUR FUTURE HOUSE at me, it’s unbelievable

Fucking finally, a realistic view of New York; smelly, crowded, and filth everywhere (not that i could ever know, i don’t live there but i’ve seen metropolitans before)

“STOP THE CART WITH YOUR BODY” WTFFF I’M CRYING THAT’S SO RUDE

Ok, Natalie’s a nobody at the workplace, even though she’s a fricking architect. UNREALISTIC TO ME

That co-worker and office manager can choke, that’s all I’m gonna say

Ohmygod, Whitney (Betty Gilpin) is so cute, I’ve seen her 10 secs in and I already love her (lovey dovey characters are always my faves)

JOSH (Adam Devine) IS AMAZING, ADORABLE DORK, PROTECT HIM AT ALL COSTS

LIAM HEMSWORTH’S AMERICAN ACCENT GOT ME SH00K!!! He just said “Goddamn it” and I am already hooked

Who puts whipped cream in a coffee? ME, BITCH

I PUT WHIPPED CREAM IN MY COFFEE BECAUSE BLACK COFFEE TASTES LIKE SHIT, SORRY THAT I’M NOT TOUGH AS YOU

Natalie says nice guy with a nice life and it... kinda bothers me. It’s a reaaaally generic expression and a bit insulting if you think about it bc if you don’t fit that person’s standards of being nice with having a nice life, it discourages you (in this case, you=man). So when Josh said “I’m a nice guy with a nice life” I thought ‘Of course you are’ bc he is in my standards. What I’m trying to say is that rom-coms have stereotypes on not only women but also men. Yes, it is sad.

Awwww Josh has a crush on Natalie *wipes happy tears* but she thinks he’s looking at the model billboard LMAO SAME, NAT

I’m so done (but it’s also so relatable, bc i’m like Nat but with less cynicism)

WHITNEY’S DESKTOP OMG

PAWSITIVE VIBES???? I WANNA MARRY HER SO WE CAN WATCH ROM-COMS WITH CATS ON OUR LAPS ALL DAY TOGETHER

Natalie was on the subway and a stranger waved at her. Then he tried to mug her. Then she knocked herself over. My mom always says don’t talk to strangers and I see why. I’m 22, if you’re wondering *clears throat* Moving on...

OH MY GOD SHE WOKE UP WITH THE MAKE-UP ON AND A NICELY DONE HAIR WITH FLOWERS AND STRAWBERRY DRINK ON THE SIDE, I CAN’T-

Oh, hello Mr. Morningstar... *wiggles eyebrows* (quick note, i don’t actually watch Lucifer but i really like Tom Ellis)

She just ripped her IV and blood didn’t spill everywhere, yeah this is a rom-com alright 

She’s dressed from lost and found and she looks like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman-

NO WAIT, THE ENTIRE SETTING HAS CHANGED

HOLY SHIT ‘A THOUSAND MILES’ BY VANESSA CARLTON IS STARTED TO BE PLAYED BY A RANDOM GUY ON A BIKE AND HE PLAYS IT FROM THE STEREO ON HIS BIKE I’M CACKLING

ENTER LIAM, HE LOOKS SO GOOD I CAN’T EVEN DESCRIBE (i’m a thirsty hoe, your suspicions are correct)

What the fuck does beguiling mean? *checks dictionary* oh, okay *is weirded out now*

HE’S AUSSIE NOW, THEY’VE DONE IT, HE’S KEEPING THE ACCENT, AND I’M HAPPY AGAIN

...Birds form a heart while flying... Uhhh... Strawberries and champagne in the limo... Rich as fuck, my poor ass can’t relate

NATALIE’S STREET HAS CHANGED, TOO

He’s giving her flowers already? Ok- NO WAIT

HE JUST WROTE HIS NUMBER ON MULTIPLE FLOWER PETALS AND HANDED TO HER, IS HE FOR REAL LMAO

“But there’s only one of you, so...” Well, this doesn’t change the fact that there are millions of ways to order the numbers, you dumbass (why is he like this)

Her apartment... Every Millenials’ dream

And... A gay neighbor/best friend who acts like an over-feminine gay (which is also a stereotype)

So, I’ll count every rom-com trope I’ve seen in 22 mins *counts her fingers* So far, I have seven tropes

The Big Presentation (eight)

Unconventional workplace which looks like a Google office (nine)

Nat is the star architect now (ten)

Rival bitchy colleague (eleven) (WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE WHITNEY, THOUGH) (SHE’S MY SENSITIVE WIFE) (oh, she looks hot)

They gave like, four other tropes in two mins and it doesn’t feel like rushed at all *salutes respectively*

The setting change is so... Like, you cannot miss it, it’s sweet and makes you feel all giddy inside, it’s so lovely, so rom-com like (does that make sense to you?)

OH PRIYANKA, SHE JUST TURNED AND I’M LIKE “Oh I’m fucked”

“Josssssssh”

Natalie keeps falling (twelve)

“MY LIFE IS A ... ... ROMANTIC COMEDY!” “AND IT’S ... PG-13!″ EVERYONE STARTED DANCING BEHIND HER I’M HOLLERING 

The subway map behind her is shaped in a heart, lovey dovey couples everywhere... And shE’S GONNA JUMP ONTO A TRAIN??? THIS GOT DARK ALL OF A SUDDEN

Officer Hansom *facepalms*

She threw the flower petals and guess what? THE NUMBERS FELL DOWN IN THE CORRECT ORDER, WHO COULD HAVE KNOWN HAHAHA (thirteen)

Y’ello

Y’ELLO

Y’E LL O

IS THIS HOW AUSSIES ANSWER THE PHONE, AUSSIE MUTUALS PLEASE RESPOND

BLAKE (Liam Hemsworth) IS SO ADORABLE I’M ROOTING FOR EVERYONE IN THIS MOVIE 

Dress up montage... Yeah- Oh wait, they cut it out what the hell fvygbuhnj I WANT MY DRESS UP MONTAGE, GIVE IT TO MEEE

This is some fancy first date though... Also leaving 100 bucks tip doesn’t justify breaking in to a store I guess??? Seems like the law has no function in rom-coms lmao (fourteen)

BUTTER PECAN??? HOW OLD ARE YOU, 200 OR SOMETHING??? WHAT THE FUCK, MAN

The rain... You know what’s coming after- Ah, and they kissed *giggles uncontrollably* YES!!! (fifteen)

THEY CAN’T HAVE SEX BC IT’S PG-13 (liam’s abs, though) *bi scream*

Her apartment makes me cry, it’s so beautiful (ok i’ll stop counting from now on bc i cannot keep up anymore)

Also the romantic tension between Natalie and Josh................ I have no words

Isabella (Priyanka Chopra) calls Josh ‘Mush’ and it’s so f-king cringey, I swear to God sxrdctfvygu

STOP OVERSELLING NEW YORK, WE KNOW IT’S NOT THAT GOOD

I can talk about Blake for five hours, he’s so fucking funny lmao

Donny (Brandon Scott Jones) is such a gay sidekick, he comes out of nowhere and talks weirdly but he makes me laugh so I’ll give him a pass

NOW WE’RE GETTING SOMEWHERE, NATALIE’S GONNA STOP ISABELLA&JOSH’S WEDDING

That musical scene is everything, and Natalie hits that high note H AR D

GET IT, GIRL

Blake............ no-

I ROOTED FOR YOU, WE ALL ROOTED FOR YOU, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT-

Oh my, he’s a certified douchebag, I should’ve guessed, I’m so disappointed in myself 

Unexpected wisdom coming from Donny who had no function to the story other than appearing beside Natalie at random times (again, rom-com trope) 

BUT at least he made her realised who matters to her the most

Slow motion running!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Her boobs are like sxrdctfvyg SHAKING AS SHE’S RUNNING ESXRDCTFVYB (as someone who has big breasts, i relate to that so hard) 

“Yoga Ambassador. Yoga. Ambassador.” “Ambassadors are for countries, not for streching.” Dang, Nat!!!

She finally realised she loves herself! Awww, that’s so sweet and empowering and I can’t get enough of this!!!! Yes, to love someone else first you should love yourself!

Oh she crashed the car and went back to reality

Another hot doctor???? Wait, I’m confused- No, false alarm, she’s back and her real doctor is tired, is also swimming through lawsuits LMFAO

She pulled her IV and blood SPILLED EVERYWHERE AS IT SHOULD BE, THANK GOD

I’m glad that she’s happy with what she’s got and she didn’t decide to keep what she’s been doing but instead, tried to take care of herself, it’s such a good message to young girls and I cannot praise this enough

PLOT TWIST, DONNY IS ACTUALLY REALLY GAY AND HAS A BOYFRIEND AND IS ALSO A WEED DEALER OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE THE TWIST SO MUCH 

Natalie!!! Is!!! Confident!!! Now!!! I’m literally living for this *throws hearts to the screen*

OH MY WIFE IS BACK, HI WHITNEY I LOVE YOU MY SWEET SUMMER WIFE I MISSED YOU

Nat stormed into that meeting and she’s. on. fireeee

Real Blake is as jerk as ever, no surprise

Using parking lots as metaphors would never cross my mind but ok I guess???

Fuck, he said “What does beguiling mean?” I’M LOST FOR WORDS, THIS MOVIE SXDCTFVYGU

JOSH HAS BEEN LOOKING AT NATALIE FOR THE WHOLE TIME, NOT THE SWIMSUIT MODEL, WHO COULD HAVE THOUGHT???

ps. me and probably everyone else except Nat lol

EVERYONE SINGS

THIS IS NOT A DRILL

I REPEAT, EVERYONE SINGS AND IT’S SO GOOD

LIAM PLAYS THE SAX HOLY SHIT HE’S SO HOT I’M GONNA FAINT

Priyanka with that rose.......... Consider me dead, thank you

“It’s hot as fuck” tcfyvgubh probably true

Overall, I would give this movie 7/10 because of the message. Plot is nicely done and I got see basically every single rom-com tropes. At total, I counted 23 tropes I guess? If I could look every minor detail, I would count more but I won’t get into it that much for now. (i’m running late to a meeting with friends so i have to cut short)

I loved the production design, setting felt like I’m in a classic rom-com movie and characters were written accordingly. Every actor in the movie has fit perfect to me. I especially loved Priyanka and Liam because 1) I’ve never seen any of her movies and 2) It’s been a long time since I watched a Liam Hemsworth movie (i only watched hunger games, so you think about it lmao)

I guess that’s about it! I have a list for the next weeks’ movies but if you have a request then tell me so, I will watch your recommendations first! I appreciate comments; if you have something to add, please do. I will read every single one of them.

See you next week!

[moodymurda]

think i lost my best friend

as a small child my first first best friend was a boy named omar. we met in daycare when we were two. we were the smallest in the class but had the biggest mouths. we ended up going to the same schools until 4th grade. at our elementary school anytime someone claimed me as a best friend, he would explain that we went way back to diapers and they weren’t my best friend lmao. 

in pre-k i met a boy named hakeem. (our mom’s ended up being friends, they still talk occasionally and sometimes my mom will tell me how hakeem and his siblings are doing. because she know my weird ass cares about that sort of thing). hakeem brought these lemon cookies everyday for snack. i liked them too but in strawberry, so he would have his mom get me some and he brought me those cookies everyday until we changed schools in first grade. we always sat together, did our work together, played together. we had other friends but we mostly did everything together. 

in first grade i had 2 best friends. a boy named franklyn and a girl named melody. melody moved away like 4 months into the school year but to this day i’ve never forgotten her. franklyn, i thought he was so cool. he was a really great artist.. for a 6 year old lol. he was real funny too. he had the funniest facial expressions. and he was real serious which i was entertained by because i’ve always been “silly”. 

in 4th grade i met a girl named shanelle. we were the shortest girls in the class and the smartest. we were really similar in general and we instantly clicked. it was a whole lil group of girls that i’d known since first grade. but shanelle and i ended up in the same class in 4th grade and we clicked idk. that was my mf girl. when i first moved to florida we talked on the phone every saturday for hours. i also met a boy named anias that year. he was one of my best friends too. he was also my first crush lol. unrelated but it’s interesting to look back at how i handled the fact that i liked him, because i still handle liking people that same way.

fifth grade was my first year in florida. it was real hard for me to make friends. the other day, my mom said to me she realized that in new york i never had to make friends. i have bout 5011 cousins, so that's built in friends right there. and they were my friends back then, they're my friends now. then most of the kids i went to daycare with, they went to my elementary school. so again i never had to make a friend really. i knew everyone in my life since i was a literal infant. 

but yea i did end up making friends eventually. got my first white friends ever lol. (one of their dad’s called me a nigger which is still hands down one of the weirdest things i’ve ever experienced.) i started to befriend more girls which was cool because before then i always had way more guy friends than girls. 

in middle school i went to one school for 6th grade, then another for 7th & 8th. in 6th i met my friend nijah. and she was my best friend then. she treated me like i was her little sister and i’m still grateful. she really looked out for my little ass and defended me no matter what. she was present after i got into my first fight lol. and even though i held my own, the girl had scratched my face. that shit set nijah off and she proceeded to beat homegirl’s ass even though i just did.

i struggled to make friends in 7th again. in 6th grade i went to the same school that most of my elementary friends went to, so again i didn’t have to make friends for real. i did make new friends but it was different because it was a group thing. not me alone trying to fit in somewhere. in 7th grade i finally got into a school i applied to in 5th grade but was wait-listed. i was and am very reluctant to speak to those i don’t know for a list of reasons. so i didn’t. i would just observe the people in my class. eventually these two girls named janae and keely who were best friends, kinda let me stick my ass in there with them. then i met bart and this girl dani. i remember marcus and i had ended up befriending one another bc our history teacher sat us next to each other when he was reassigning seats. (i remember every mf thing but marcus was also my second crush so naturally i remember every detail of that shit). so yea those were my friends. at the time janae was my best friend tho. she was the only other black girl in the class that would talk to me and didn’t think i was weird. it was because her ass was weird too lol. i didn’t act like the rest of the black girls and they really only spoke to me to make fun of me. which i knew, but i’ve never been one to entertain shit unless “you got beat my ass about it”. 

in 8th grade janae and i met this group of girls. morgan, dejahnna, atlantis, and jarvayssia. some shit shifted that year and morgan and dejahanna became my best friends. they were the first friends i ever hang out with outside of school. it made me feel so good to be invited to shit and to feel included. to feel like a normal ass 13 yr old felt amazing. 

so in high school there were two schools all the magnet school kids would usually apply to. stanton and paxon. with the exception of keely, bart, and a few other people i didn't mention here. every single person i was close with in middle school, went to paxon. what's crazy is most of my friends were going for stanton because in jax it’s the “better” school as far as ranking goes. i don't even remember why but when i toured paxon, i liked it more than stanton and i wanted to go there. it’s still funny to me that my ass didn’t want to go to stanton but was one of the only ones in my close friend group to get in. 

so yea at stanton is struggled. a lot. personally but also in the friend department. to put it plainly i had none. people didn't really talk to me or acknowledge me really. at first i didn’t mind it. but then having a fucked up home situation and having no friends just made me feel real shitty. there was that thing again, with people talking to me only to make fun of me. some of those same people would turn around senior year and try to be my friend senior year which was hilarious to me at the time. it was like they forgot how they treated my extra depressed ass back then. i met this girl chelsey in 10th grade and she was hella sweet. she basically forced me on her friends and they became my friends.

okay so anyway, in 11th grade i met a girl named ahmani. she was in my chorus class. i remember our first encounter, it was towards the beginning of the school year. stanton was playing paxon and it was the game everyone went to ya know. i wanted to go but my mom couldn't take me. so everyone is talking about it and someone asked if i was coming. i said no and why, ahmani ended up asking me what side of town i lived on. we realized we dead lived like 7 minutes away from each other. she offered to pick me up and bring me to the game w her. i was amazed that she was willing to, i know that dont sound like a big deal but to me it was. people weren’t nice to me bro. like ever. so for her to do that it meant a lot. she ended up being my ride every mf where. she is dead the reason i hung out w people outside of school w my friends. she took me everywhere with her. sometimes we would just sit in the car and talk or listen to music. we had a group of friends, it was 5 of us. but i was the closest with her. 

i admired her. i thought she was so strong and resilient. she's hella awkward but she owns it. she's low-key/highkey anxious sometimes but she works through it. no one i’ve ever met works harder to achieve shit than she is. she sings so beautifully. she is beautiful. she's a caretaker of basically anyone she knows. she is a light, she was my light for so long when i needed it. we’re pretty different but also a lot alike. we just worked. i always told her where i fall short she picks up my slack and vice versa. we might be a bit of a mess separately but our heads working together is unstoppable. we’re kinda a mess together too honestly but it’s us.

in college we didn't spend as much time together. we both stayed home for two years and went to a community college. we would hang out like weekly i think. i’m pretty sure we saw each other once a week at the very least. but then she went to orlando for university and i went to UNF which in jax. we didn’t talk all that much and i understood. i wasn't necessarily too busy, but thats because i just never am that fucking busy lmfao. idk the way i go through life is weird. i only make time for the shit and people i want to make time for. i refuse to do anything i dont want to. and that isn’t necessarily my best trait but I'm working on it. but yea i guess she was busier than i? idk when i don’t speak to people for a while i dont make a big deal. i tell myself it isn’t on purpose and i move on. i often tell myself not to apply more importance to my life than what is necessary. especially when others are involved. again, not my best trait but i’m working on it. 

so yea though our communication got limited i still considered her my best friend. when she would come to the city, if she had time we hung out. i always have time lmfao, always. again i know other people’s lives are more full than mine. well i assume so. anyway. we spoke on the phone. we were there when the other needed i think. i try hard not to need people. like not to call them or burden them with my issues. i try real hard. but when she needed me i was there. not to say i’ve ever needed her and she wasn’t there. because that isn’t the case at all. 

recently we planned to move to chicago together. a whole chain of events happened and now we aren’t. i’m still moving and i’m pretty sure she is too. just not together. the way it happened is really fucking with me. i don’t wanna get into it bc of privacy and shit. but i will say that i am hurt. im really hurt and im confused and im beating myself up over some shit that everyone keeps telling me isn't my fault. feels like my fault though. that feels like the only explanation. i dont know.

i’ve been thiniking a lot. about friends and how i never really had any. i just spoke to people so i wasn't alone or sometimes i just spoke to no one and made myself be okay with it. and now i have this group of friends and we’re like family. everyone that is my friend currently is my family. all of my friends i have currently i made over the internet. and i was bothered by that im not even gonna lie. it felt good to still have ahmani bc i would see her more than i see my other friends. i still have some i didn't meet yet. idk i just.. im the only person in my like personal life with internet friends. like in my family. and i felt like i just fed the fact that my family thinks im not even the least bit “normal”. then i started to feel bad. because it felt like that meant i was ashamed of my friends.and i’m not. i love them. i dont wanna lose any of them any time soon. and i’m realizing i dont need anyone’s approval to make those friendships “real” or valid. because they are real and valid to me. 

but yea i dont think ahmani and i will be friends anymore. or if we do end up being friends again, we probably won't speak for a while. i don’t know what that means. but losing a friend sucks a whole lot and i wouldn’t wish it on anyone. 

[giranswife]

Alright I said I was going to make another Giran post, and here it is!!! Again I’m still getting to know him so I don’t have cold hard facts or anything but I have what I’ve inferred and what I’ve came up for myself and just overall how I feel about this god damn evil bastard.

now first we need the sfw version:

First off, I know I’ve addressed this already but I get he’s like,,,,, unnattractive and shit. I get he’s not the best looking and upon first being introduced some would say some coarse words about him. And that’s fine, he’s an acquired taste of asshole. 

But for some reason that’s what draws me more to him?? Like he’s not my traditional pretty boi type, he’s a lot more like older and got a different vibe and I fucking dig that a lot (ash wtf)

And also........... this image OKAY LISTEN

I get that I’m a fucking magnet for what seems like characters that smoke, like I didn’t realize I had a lot of faves that smoke until I looked into it and remembered I fucking do. And honestly the idea doesn’t rly bother me all that much,it just makes for tons of ‘i wish that were me’ jokes whenever he puts a cigarette in his mouth

(im so fucking sorry you have to deal with me guys I apologize G R E AT LY)

And I mentioned that fucking smugness about him before too. I fucking eat that shit up, even though it’s annoying as fuck to me in real life. I like imagining him getting smug and shit w me and about me. It’s hot af and it’s fucking probably one of my favorite things about him if I’m being honest. Sometimes I wanna punch this god damn look off of his face.

Other times I... we won’t get to that ANYWAY

And like I said before smart asshole gets me too. I like smart guys a lot, we already know this in my previous gush posts and just in general when you look at my types. If I was a manga reader maybe I’d see more examples of this all I got is what I know and what I can infer, but I mean he’s good at wHAT HE DOES SO?

Also I hate that I don’t rly get content w him unless it’s ship content bc it’s so minuscule. I get that it’s a side character but I want more fucking content. I didn’t realize how much content I wanted until I went looking for it and I just.... I want more fucking shit. I want to read about him more without having to go into an anxiety problem bc it’s all ship shit. BUT THAT ISN’T WAHT THIS POST IS ABOUT I’M SORRY IM GOING ON A TANGENT

Can we also discuss for a second how we’re led to believe that he’s eccentric bc of that god damn phone case,,,,,,,,,,,, i physically can’t with this god damn man.

Who is he??? What is his deal??? I don’t really know but I want to. I fucking laugh so god damn loud sometimes about him and then I cry bc I just,,,, I want to know this man and everything about him.

Also I’m weird af so we’d fit pretty well tbh I can just sense it. Yes irl me is like totally not going to be his type probably bc I’m just..... boring old me with a quirky personality and shy and shit but,,,, Ash is basically me just w an attitude so xD

And I totally mean it when I say I want to be the only thing that’s important to him. The only thing that he tolerates and loves and just wants to fucking keep to himself bc fuck I’d be that girl. He drives me crazy so I need to be the one thing that drives him crazy but in good ways!!! I want him to be protective over me and get pissed when someone talks to me the wrong way or looks at me in a way he doesn’t like.

I fucking want him to make me flustered all the damn time, because I just know he’d enjoy fucking making me flustered and hearing me say shit that I don’t want to say out loud. And fuck I want to be important to him okay!? afwkej;oiajwef;alkejf

Also while I’m using image reciepts there is something about this image that I’ve seen before I’m not gonna call it out but this grin is familiar *eyes emoji* if you catch it you get a cookie XD

Spicy version under the cut

AND NOT TO MENTION HOW LIKE HOW THIRSTY I AM FOR HIM

like god i want to be in his lap and hear him talk dirty to me in the voice i hc him w bc his canon voice is ugh,,,, and hes just yummy in his own ways

i know that sounds weird for me to say that he’s yummy but fuck he is to me. i think its delicious to me how hed probably take what he wants and shit im sorry if this is a lot im just i need to rant a bit about my feelings for this god damn fucking man.

and i wouldn’t mind him being handsy and shit bc honestly pls. It won’t bother me at all tbh but i am shy. And ash isn’t shy she just gets flustered and angry and shit XD but she won’t get up. Oh no, she’s staying tell her more about how sexy she is,,,, a;ewljfiojwf;aljkfaewf

It’s not very long bc i get nervous posting spicy stuff now I’m sorry,,, but I’ll make a google doc if you guys wanna know my full thoughts oops

[whistling-choir-blog]

travelling w/t my tc

i’ve been offline for about 10,000 years so i’ll just let u know whats up w/t us :) fyi this isn’t very recent, it happened around - we went on a trip together. a school trip. two teacher supervisors, 5 students including myself. it was a beautiful city (a european city in a romance country, not gonna name it in case someone finds out)

- formality has always been low with us but now it was way down. we ate dinner together, drank wine together, walked together, joked together. i know his favourite bar and vice versa. also, he’s sworn in front of me before but i’ve never actually heard him properly swear and haha i did this time round. - some of the stuff we attended was formal. at my school, i am literally notorious for being a casual dresser. ‘(my name) hoodies’ are a literal term that people use to describe comfortable, casual, and oversized jackets. Once i picked up a hoodie in the lost and found and said ‘this might be mine...’ and another girl who i barely know said ‘not loose enough.’ its a running gag, how poor my fashion sense is. anyways, i dressed formally, meaning nice shoes, skirts, etc. I swear to god, I was in one room milling around with like 20 other people and he came up behind me and said ‘Can I get you something to drink?” and I was like “yeah i’m dying.’ and so he took me to the drinks table and poured me a glass of water and we stood there talking for half an hour while he kept refilling my drink bc he’s a gentleman and istg at one point he looked me up and down and said, ‘so, you think you could dress like this every day?’ and I said ‘what?’ because it was a weird question and the way he said it sounded weird and then he was like ‘oh, sorry, i mean, could you have a career where you had to dress like this, formally, all the time?’ and i was like ‘oh lol’ (and proceeded to tell him no way in hell, my shoes are fucking killing me and they aren’t even heels to which he replied ‘when was even the last time you wore heels?’ which for some reason makes me happy? idk i like that he asked that) - it was suggested that during lunch we eat separately eg. the teachers and students separate, since we were eating breakfast and dinner together all the time. when i was with the other students i said something about how the teachers must be dying for a break from us, and the one boy, whose notorious for being stoic and professional and quiet at all times, said word for fucking word ‘Except for M. M loves H. He like, loves you. If it was just you two on this trip I think he’d be really happy.’ and I just?????? what the fuck????? what the fuck??????????? i almost started fucking crying what the fuck he’d never seen us interact before this trip he’d never seen us in class i wanna die - Also we got lost in the city together. With one other student, but that student was a 14 year old boy who just let us do the talking. But. we were lost and wandering around for three hours. Would have been a lot better if I didn’t rlly have to go to the bathroom. Also, while we were lost, three things happened- 1. Someone tried to sell us weed. Afterwards he congratulated me and told me that I hit a checklist item for being a tourist in this city.

2. Someone. Thought. We. Were. A. Couple. A street vendor came up with a rose and said to him ‘something for your girl?’ and he just said ‘no, thank you’ and kept walking. We didn’t say anything about it. But 3. We ended up in an art museum. There was something really special about going with him to an art museum and staring at pieces of art quietly while NO ONE ELSE WAS THERE. I’m not fucking with you. We arrived 30 minutes before closing, and we went to the room at the very top of the art museum, and I’m not shitting you we were the ONLY people in the room. It was just us wandering around and looking at art. I swear to god - At one point the boys were joking about how old I look. I was 17 at the time (birthday shortly afterwards) and they were saying that I look like I’m 12 because I’m really painfully short and have a very youthful face that I’m sure will be helpful when I’m 30 but as of now is just the worst. At one point, they literally turn to him and asked how old he thought i looked and i just about died. He didn’t even glance at me, he just said ‘i, personally, don’t really think of a student in terms of how old they actually are or how old they look. when you spend time reading their papers, you start to really think of them at their academic age. some students i think of as like, eight, and some i think of as in their twenties.’ and then stopped talking. and, guys, he’s given me ‘best personal student’ award two years in a row and recommended me for academic clubs. - Also, since we have to submit for the yearbook, lots of pics were taken and subsequently sent to my mother. There are now two pictures of me and him in our family photo album.

- One last thing. When we were walking back from the hotel, I don’t know how we got on the topic, but he was talking about how it was fashionable while he was in school to show up to exams in pyjamas to project a ‘i couldn't give a shit look.’ I told him I’d show up in, while not pyjamas, bunny slippers to school every day if it was dignified. And then he looked at me and gave me the warmest smile and said “You know, I’m surprised you care. Whether it’s dignified or not.” and idk something about that seemed really special to me.

[spoonfulofsexy]

Party Like A Stark

Peter Parker x  Stark Reader

Part (1/6)

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4  Part 5  Part 6

Summary: Today is your 19th birthday, and you also happen to be Tony Stark’s loved daughter.  What’s a better way to celebrate this special day than a party?!  All the Avengers and family friends will be there, even your secret crush Spider-Man.  You’ve always wanted to meet the famous spiderling, but little did you know you already know him.  Your party will definitely be one to remember.

Warnings: none! just lots of fluff and hugs

Masterlist

AN: So this will be my mini Peter fic that will lead up to smut!! I wanted to just do a Peter smut but i had this brilliant idea that needed more than one post!! I would like to point out that both Peter and reader are 18+, so it’s not weird.  Also, Pietro is alive and healthy bc I refuse to accept that this precious muffin is dead.  Also Clint and Nat are together bc I refuse to believe they weren’t made for each other. So hope you enjoy the first part of my mini fic!!

It’s crazy to think how 19 years today you were brought into this world, but also lost a key person in your life.  Your mother died during childbirth, so Tony Stark took it upon himself to be your guardian.  He was the father after all.  Him and your mother may not have been married but they were very close friends and Tony just couldn’t leave you.  Your mother was planning on being a single parent, because she didn’t think Tony was ready for kids.  But when plans change so did Tony, for the sake of your loved mother and his own flesh and blood.  

Tony raised you to the best of his abilities with the help of Happy and Pepper.  You were homeschooled with the best teachers all over the country.  You became to be a brilliant minded child with so much future ahead of her.  You were excelling in your academics and took on piano lessons, while learning 2 other languages.  

Tony has finally done something right.  You were his pride and joy, he did everything he could to make your life enjoyable and fun. I mean he was Tony Stark, what Stark doesn’t have fun right?

Well that leads to today, Tony was planning a huge party for your birthday.  It would mostly consist of just Avengers and Shield agents that you had become close with.  The Avengers had become your family, you practically grew up in the same tower as them.  Since you were homeschooled, you didn’t have any friends outside of those four walls.  But you didn’t mind, because you had superhero friends who loved you for who you were and not because of your last name.

Since the Avengers HQ was relocated outside of the city, you never really had anywhere you could just go out and grab some food or go shopping.  You really missed that, but you knew it was safer out in the middle of nowhere.  No more paparazzi every time you stepped out of those doors, or the sound of traffic rage.  Yeah, it was a lot more peaceful out here, but you would move back to the city in a heartbeat.

You know what else is great about the city? Spider-man. Your dad has been mentoring Spider-man for a few months now, but your dad hasn’t let you guys meet yet.  All you knew was that he was 19 and a super sweet guy.  Your dad would brag about him all the time at meals, or while in the lab with you.  It’s kind of embarrassing to admit, but you may have a tiny crush on him.  I mean yeah, you haven’t met the kid but who wouldn’t fall for a guy with that kind of body in those tight spandex?

You could just imagine how muscular his body was behind that suit, and the way his hands felt running against your skin.  You wondered what his lips felt like against your-

“GOOD MORNING, PUMPKIN!”, you were snatched out of your dream by your father’s loud voice.

Your heart was already racing from your dream, now your dad almost gave you a heart attack. “AH”, you let out a little yell as you instantly sat up in bed.

Tony sat down next to you on the bed and brought you into a bone crushing hug. “Happy birthday, my little snuggle monster.”  He squeezed you tighter with every word.

“Daaaaad”, you wheezed out.

“Oh sorry”, he let go and put his hands on his arms to look at you. “Look how beautiful you’ve become”, he wiped an imaginary tear.  “You’re almost as good looking as your father”, he laughed at his own joke.

“Dad, come on. You know I don’t have my full potential when I have bed head”, you joked back.

He ruffled your already messy hair, “Ah but you’re just as brilliant as him.”

You snorted at his not so modest compliment. “Thanks, dad”, you gave him a little snuggle.  “Why’d you wake me up so early though?”, you looked at the clock that read 9:00 AM.

“Early?!”, he laughed. “Honey, it’s 9:00, it’s not that early.”

You shrugged and laid back down, “A girl needs her sleep.”

He rolled his eyes playfully.  “What about a girl that gets the day to go back to the city?”

That definitely sparked your interest, “Uh would that girl happen to be me?”

“Maybe”, Tony rubbed his chin as if he was in deep thought.

You threw the covers off of you and got out of bed, “Well in that case, who needs sleep?!”

Your dad couldn’t help but laugh at your change of attitude. He followed you out of your room and into the dining room.  

“So what’s fo- GAH”, You were surprised tackled to the ground by a very specific speedster.

“It is your birthday!!”, Pietro gave you a loving hug.

“Yes, we must give you your birthday hugs!”, Wanda joined the two of you.

“Aw, you guys thank you”, you embraced the two twins.  Tony couldn’t help but smile at the friendship the three of you had.  Since you guys were all the same age, you bonded very well.  You would even say they were your best friends.

“Alright, guys let’s let the birthday girl get some food in that bellay”, Tony guided the hug monster you three created into the dining room.

The three of you sat at the table while your dad got some food ready with Pepper.

“So you are now part of the 19 crew”, Wanda smiled with joy.

“Man, now I’m just as cool as you guys right?”, you winked as you took a sip of your orange juice.

“Nah, we are still the cooler ones”, Pietro waved you off.

Plates of food were set on the table, and Pepper came in and gave you a quick peck on the cheek. “Happy birthday, dear.”

You pulled her into a hug, “Thanks Pepp.”  Your eyes grew at all the food in front of you, “Wow did you guys make all this food by yourselves?”

“We may have had a little help”, Tony gestured to the doorway that led to the kitchen.  Suddenly walked out Clint and Nat.  You instantly ran out of your chair and embraced them.  You haven’t seen them in ages, because of the little civil war that happened between the group.  Friendships were being mended but you didn’t expect to see them.

“You guys!!”, you squealed. “I can’t believe you guys came!!”

“Well we are like your favorite Aunt and Uncle, right?”, Clint joked as he hugged you tighter.

“I’m lovin the look you’re going for today”, Nat picked up a piece of your tangled hair.

“I know, it’s a Stark look”, you let go of them and spun around showing off one of your dad’s old, baggy rock and roll t-shirts.

“Alright, kiddo, you better eat so you can leave sooner”, your dad called you over.

“Right, right”, you came back and sat at the table.

You ate an incredible amount of food then sprinted off to your room with Wanda and Nat to get ready.  You decided to wear some loose high waisted short with the ankles rolled a bit, and a white cropped tank top that showed off your midriff.  For shoes, you wore your comfy opened toed high heeled ankle boots.  Let’s not forget about accessories, you wore some simple silver bracelets and rings, and your classic Raybans sunglasses.  Then Nat loosely curled your hair while you did a simple make-up look.  

With the help, you were ready in an hour!  The city crew consisted of Happy, Nat, Pepper, Pietro, Wanda, and you, of course.  You were so excited that you were practically bouncing in your seat.  Pietro, Wanda, and you jammed out to songs the entire ride down.  It was great because those two could make car rides a freaking party.

“Guys, GUYS WE’RE HERE”, you were smacking Pietro in the arm with excitement.

“Ow”, he winced.

Then a hint of sadness washed over you when you saw the old tower. “Aw, hi old home.”  You pressed your face and palm against the car window, trying to get as close as you could to the building.

“So (Y/N), wanna get some coffee or something at that cafe you like, then shop?”, Pepper turned around in her seat to ask you.  

“Yes, that sounds like a solid plan, Pepps”, you smiled and gave a thumbs up.

She laughed and nudged at Happy, “Isn’t she so much like her father?”

You pretended not to hear that as you gazed out the window.  Not too long after Happy parked the car and the six of you walked a block down to this cute cafe to order some drinks.  

“Here what do you guys want, I’ll pay”, Pepper guided you guys into a straight line.

“No-”, you tried to object but she insisted.

“Look, I’ve got Tony’s card. He won’t mind if I pay for our drinks”, she winked.

As you waited to the side for your drink, you noticed the guy’s shirt next to you.  It was a science pun shirt and you couldn’t help but let out a little giggle reading it. Suddenly, he turned and looked at you, making blush creep up your cheeks.

“Oh geez, uh sorry, I was just uh reading your shirt”, you tucked a piece of hair behind your ear and sheepishly looked at the ground.

“Oh”, the guy looked down to remember what shirt he had on.

“I like it”, you gave him a friendly smile.

He scratched the back of his head nervously, “Re-really? People usually think it’s lame.”

“No way, it’s cool”, you said shocked. “Are you a big science guy?”, you asked curiously.

“Yeah I love science.  I went to a high school that solely focused on the field of science”, he fiddled with his hands.  

“Oh that’s so awesome!”, you said with enthusiasm.  Gosh this guy was cute, and smart?! What a jackpot!  Without even thinking you asked, “So what’s your name?”

“PETER!”, another guy called from behind him.  “Oh my gosh, are you (Y/N) Stark?”

You quickly put a hand over the stranger’s mouth, “Not so loud”, you whispered.

“Oh so sorry”, he whispered.  “Could I take a picture with you?”,he asked.

“Uh, yeah”, you laughed.  

He stood next to you and said, “I’m Ned, that’s my friend Peter.”

“Oh nice to meet you”, you laughed. The two of you posed with finger guns for the picture.  

When Ned looked down at the photo a smile grew on his face, “This is awesome thank you so much!”

“You’re welcome”, then you motioned to Peter, “Do you want a picture?”

“No, no I’m good”, he declined.

“Hm, okay!”  

Happy came up behind you with your drink.  “Here you go, kid”, he said.  But when he looked at Peter he almost spit his coffee, “Peter?!”

“Happy!”, Peter said nervously.

“You two know each other?”, you asked suspiciously.

“Uh he-”, Happy tried to think of an excuse.  “He is my…... nephew”, Happy finally blurted out.

“Yeaaah, great old Uncle Happy”, Peter laughed nervously.  Happy frowned at Peter for saying old.

“Uh alright”, you laughed awkwardly.

“Come on Happs, we got all the drinks”, Pepper said looking at her phone.

“Bye, Peter and Ned! It was nice meeting you two!”, you gave them a wave.

“Dude did (Y/N) Stark, compliment your lame shirt?”, Ned laughed.

“She said it was cool”, Peter frowned. Then his phone vibrated to see he got a text from Happy.

Happy- “What are you doing here?!”

Peter- “I’m just out with some friends!!”

Happy- “Does she know you’re Spider-man?”

Peter- “No, she just said she liked my shirt.”

Happy- “Really?”

Peter- “Yes! I swear!”

Happy- “Okay, you’re going to the party tonight, right?

Peter- “Party?”

Happy- “Seriously?”

Mr. Stark has been added to the group chat.

Happy- “I thought you told the kid about the party”

Mr.Stark- “I did”

Peter- “Sorry, Mr.Stark but you never did.”

Mr.Stark- “Oh my bad, I never hit send.”

Peter- “So about this party, I don’t think I can go.”

Happy- “You don’t even know any details yet.”

Mr.Stark- “Yeah, you don’t really have an option kid.”

Happy- “Do you really think we would believe you have better things to do than go to a Stark party?

Peter- “Well….”

Mr.Stark- “Look it’s my little angels birthday party today, and I promised she would get to meet who Spider-Man was. So you have to go, unless you want that suit taken away.”

Peter- “Oh, well in that case, when’s the party?”

Mr.Stark-  “It starts at 7, we will pick you up at 6. Dress nice, and bring a sleepover bag.”

Peter- “Oh okay, thank you for the invite Mr.Stark.”

Peter shook his head in disbelief, was he really going to be at a party with a bunch of superheroes, AS PETER PARKER?  

tagged:  @elaacreditava​ @harleyquinnandscarletwitch​  @randisnotonfire @theperksofbeingyourmum @redstarstan @mamallama613 @peter-pan-hoe @alexiajmariani

[linos-teeth]

[1/3] aaa so sorry i didnt realize you answered!! (when is tumblr ever gonna.let.me breathe.i canT EVEN POST ANYTHING THATS BULLSHIT) ermmm so are you in uni now? And wellll hope everything's still fine and that the person hitting you with a stick when you talk bad abt urself is doing a good job! But yeah i understand there's a different pov abt coolness and stuff but uh dont wanna sound discouraged but i waS riGhT we're not rlly friends---

[2/3] but i mean i talk to more ppl in my class and i didnt eat alone too much this week? but dont wanna get my hopes too high you know-that sounds depressing hahahavdjg sorry- + uh we're going to slovakia in early march (we dont speak Slovakian but they learn french and we'll learn abt other cultures which is good since we're in the art section??)- Yay ig- but i'll prob have a girl (thanks mom for not letting me choOsE and NoT acknowledging me being a gUY- fuck you mOm) as a penfriend?

[3/3] Which wouldnt be a problem if i didnt have to share thE sAmE bed with her when they come to france. im already feeling deeply uncomfortable with that but i just cant argue w/ my mom uH i guess i'll find a way or smth (like; coming out AGAIN TO HER (spoiler alert: am too much of a coward to do that a second time so prob wont do)) and just ask her what she's comfortable with- sorry that's probably confusing and uninteresting hdjzvdjx- but tell me about your week?? Or how you're doing! :') 💕

MY DUDE PLEASE DON’T APOLOGISE i’m 100% the worst person to be an anon for with the time i take to answer so rly!! dw abt it but if u want i can like.....rb my replies a day after or so in case u didn’t see?

i’m not at uni yet and there’s been complications :/// i think i told u abt sending the documents but now i have no clue if they got them bc i feel like i should’ve gotten confirmation and the deadline’s long over but i didn’t and now on monday i’ll call there and hope to find out so until then i will just Fear ajhskfjasf it’s fun. but if nothing goes rly wrong i should start there in 2 weeks!! i’ll still be around, more maybe bc i won’t have too many classes and will prolly need smth to procrastinate ;) pls also make me write when that time comes i need. TO WRITE

but yeah that’s how my week has been going.......not great and like not a lot of progress but hey i started a new series so that’s fun!! and i actually giffed??? wow

tbh somehow you always catch me when i have one of my tumblr crises you must have an extra sense for that jfhaksfjasf or maybe i just.....have them a lot which is true tbh. but the stick hitting person is doing amazing and is being so supportive baby if by chance u read this ty!!! u save me i’ve been losing followers these days so i’m kinda scared i’ve been fucking up somehow or that i’ve peaked (which isn’t wrong but i’m still scared) but yeah i’m working on not letting it get to me too hard kinda

uhhhhh??? why would she not want to be friends excuse me (says the one who is literally unable to maintain friendships irl as soon as school/uni is over) either u are friends or u aren’t!! i say she’s missing out for sure. i feel you tbh like?? i’m big loner and i lost count of the times i ate alone (on purpose too tho bc i’m too scared to have ppl around me ESP WATCH ME EAT WTF WHAT IF I’M DISGUSTING) but!!! talking sounds good fuck that’s some brave shit ♥

slovakia sounds fancy!!! i remember getting these ads on tv for it all the time (ads for a country feel so weird but i guess they’re a thing here?? ok) i hope you get to see a lot of cool things!! it’s so amazing when u get the opportunity to go places with school imo bc like....how else will u get around sajskshkfjasf i wish u a great time in advance and like....when u get back maybe u can tell me a bit abt it!! i hope things work out with the lang barrier but i suppose if everything else fails there’s still english? also tell me more abt ur penfriend once u get them that’s so cool!! sucks abt the girl thing but then again i personally think it’s big bs to separate by gender in this day and age like relax.........the mere fact that a person of the opposite gender is in the room with you doesn’t make u have sex with them does it now even if they fit ur general bill attraction wise

but you shouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable ofc :/// that’s just shitty how long would it be for? i rly hope you can sort things out with her if it’s a girl!! the coming out again option sounds kinda stressful yeah fjhsfkjashfkas i mean if u had the guarantee she’d understand but?? if you already did it once that’s......messy i’m rly sorry

dw tho!! it wasn’t confusing or uninteresting it’s what ur doing rn and how u feel and i like hearing abt that!! i wish u the best of luck and like....more decent ppl hopefully and a good evening/weekend ♥

[autumn-in-phandom]

Dan&Phil (with no space)

SOLVE THIS CRIME- Dan and Phil play: ‘Layton's Mystery Journey!’ 

Which I think is very cute, has great banter, cooperation, a sassy Dan, a flirty Phil, with no space between them and is definitely worth a re-watch.

Timestamps below the cut because they are lonnng.

0:01 “Hello Dan and Phil Games ‘detectives’"- Phil 0:03 Magnifying glass hand thing, Tomb Raider sound effect and Phil humming Sherlock theme combined 0:11 "Professor Layton, what what"- Dan with hand motions 0:13 Phil holds his composed angelic face while Dan gives the background info. 0:20 Dan sitting by a rainy window pretending to be intellectual. What an image. 0:27 "Lady Layton"- high pitched Dan (find a guy who can do it all) 0:30 "So today I think I'm going to be Sherlock Holmes and you're going to be Watson" -Phil 0:34 "Whatya sayin?"- Dan with that look.

I don't know how they actually feel about Johnlock. They've both referenced it before but have been kind of vague on their stance. Personally I love the show but don't ship them. But the implication of shipping definitely seems to be present and Dan is at the very least feigning disapproval. That or he just wants to be Sherlock. See below.

0:35 "Well I mean, I'm like the Benedict Cumberbatch, I look like Benedict Cumberbatch, I'm more superior at mystery solving."- Nice try Phil. 

Watching Dan's face here is funny, his feigned grumpiness, transitions to a comical frown with a shrug of agreement when Phil says he looks like BC, then a funny scoff to smile at Phil suggesting he's superior.

0:45 Dan bursts Phil's bubble shooting down Scooby Doo 0:49 Woah what a jump cut between happy open mouth Phil to, what do even call that? Is that Phil's resting bitch face? 0:50 Zoom into Dan talking to give Phil a moment to recover. 0:55 "A sneky prev"- Dan 1:00 Playing in Nederlands would add to the mystery or we could test Dan's French.

1:05 "’Katrielle and the Millionaires' Conspiracy’. Dang."- very dramatic Dan 1:09 "I'm already hooked cause there's a little dog outline."- Phil 1:13 "That's all I need to sign up for an app."- Dan 1:19 "Dan&Phil with no space" (what this video should actually be called) 1:24 "Dan question mark Phil?"- strike a pose

(The iPad also assumed it was a typo as it offers Dan&Phil as a suggestion. Earlier suggestions were "Dance" and "Danisnotonfire")

1:33 Phil's monocle/magnifying glass returns with an "aha". Dan claims Phil is "repeating a joke I made at the beginning of the video", not likely Dan. Phil is all joyous laughter. 1:45 "Stop getting paranoid. Not everyone hating another person is about you, Shirley"- Dan (watching Phil's reaction to Dan's rant is hilarious) 1:50 "Are you ready for a video?"- Phil (aka "are you done?") 1:53 "Yeah."- Dan

2:00 "A misty town, in yesteryear." Dan high voice. "I'll stop ruining this." 2:05 They are both delighted by the anime style art 2:12 ‘Daddy!’ "Daddy"- Dan "Daddy. Is the first word you hear."- Phil "Daddy Layton"- Dan nods knowingly. 2:18 "No, this is not Dream Daddy."- Dan  2:29 Sad, guilt, "just a dream." 2:31 "She's got a house plant, which is a lot more alive than all of ours" 2:37 "She opens the curtains, that's why her house plants are alive."- Dan 2:40 "Ohh, that would make sense."- Phil (see Dan's ls) 2:44 Dan supports unpractical fashion choices 2:46 Phil knows a thing or too about diseased English pigeons. 2:53 "I'm going to see some corpses!"- Dan 3:00 London is not a wholesome town 3:05 "Phily's detective world. Mysteries solved for free."- Phil 3:10 "Please I just want company."- Dan after cracking up.

3:13 "Lady and a Tramp." "Nice." 3:15 "Is she gonna eat some sensual spaghetti?"- Phil 3:16 "She's gonna kiss a dog."- Dan 3:19 "The dog's here!"- Phil 3:20 "ADOPT HIM!"- Dan 3:21 "Pet the dog!"- Phil 3:22 "ADOPT HIM RIGHT NOW!"- Dan (okay boys) 3:24 "The dog has a very strange tail."- Dan 3:26 "It's defying gravity." (Wicked on the mind Phil?) 3:30 "I mean okay, I'm sorry, sign me up for talking dog."- Dan 3:45  "Please help, I'm hallucinating talking dogs."- Dan 3:55 "Is it just gonna secrete a cake through the iPad? Cause I'm down for that."- Phil 4:10 "Presuming that we actually ever *mumble mumble*."- Dan 

4:19 "Spoilers abound."- Phil 4:20 "Protection."- Dan 4:27 "Give me a cake!"- Dan 4:29 "Use more of a baker voice."- Phil 4:37 "The Power of Triangles!"- Dan (nice self reference there) 5:01 "What is wrong with you?"- Dan says with fondness 5:10 "That looks less like a K than miine did."- Phil teasing and so close  5:14 "Delet this."- Dan 5:24 "You need to stop saying 'floppy ding dong'."- Phil (um. truth.) 5:35 Phil thinking outside of the box, inside the box, very literally. 5:40 Dan gets really excited by Phil's idea of negative space. Phil gets excited by Dan moving the shapes around. 5:55 The best iPad sharing here. 6:05 Dan starts to get discouraged just as Phil figures it out. 6:10 Dan’s face 6:15 "Mmm (high five) boom."- Dan 6:26 "Well done Phil."- danisasupportivepartner 6:35 "Don't pay me in money, pay me in cakes, that would be a Dan and Phil's detective agency."- Dan 6:40 "How do you like that doggo?"- Phil 6:41 "Up to scratch. Haha ha ha hm."- Dan 6:45 "A bit of a sexy scratch there wasn't it?"- Phil 6:47 "That was a bit weird there, the dog doesn't support that."- Dan 6:48 "Sorry."- Phil (quick, soft, low, subtle banter)

6:55 "I love her voice it's like Hermione Granger meets Beatrix Potter."- Dan 6:59 "What can I do for you?"- Phil imitates her voice, because not only does he look like Voldemort, but he *is* Hermione. 7:15 "I love his ankles rolls because of his floppy skin."- Dan (talking about the dog of course) 7:18 "Aw it's so anime, I love it."- Phil 7:25 "I wanna solve that mystery. That's an ancient civilization?! That looks like a terrifying dystopian future where mantid lizards exist."- Dan 7:36 "Hello. Is that the Watson in this? That looks like you. I'm Lady Layton, you're that guy."- Dan who apparently is fine with the Johnlock dynamic so long as Phil is the Watson character and Dan gets to be a sassy femme Sherlock. (See below) 

7:44 "Ernest."- P 7:45 "Ernest Greeves."- D 7:46 "That's a strong name."- P 7:46 "Amazing."- D 7:47 "I wish I was called Ernest."- P (I think that's what he says) 7:48 "I ship it!"- Dan says all intense and growly 7:55 "Pugsworth." 8:05 "Sherlock exists in the same cannon as Layton."- Dan 8:07 "What"- Phil 8:10 Phil gives the role of Katrelle to Dan. Phil takes Ernest. Dan takes the dog of course and Phil voices Inspector Hastings. 9:30 "In the 'ole of Britain!"- Both in sync, shaking their faces, having fun 9:51 "Frickin slapped. Ernest and Sherl in the corner of Lady Layton's priorities."- Sassy Dan 

10:07 "The Hand That Feeds" (weird fist motion from Phil) 10:12 "Someone's stolen a hand!"- high pitched Dan 10:17 "That's a whole diddly operation."- Dan 10:19 "It was Spider-Man. Tom Holland wants more attention."- Phil 10:21 "Honestly what a fiend(?)"- very quiet Dan 10:34 "Do the lamppost."- Phil (not innuendo just what Dan should be investigating, Phil is trying to get him back on track but is very amused.) 10:39 "Come on, Kat, what are you dawdlin' there for, eh? The case, woman! The case!"- Phil saying dawdlin' and woman in a northern accent is great.  10:40 "Woman."- Dan echos with attitude. 10:49 "Hmph, teachin' Grandma to suck eggs, are ya?" (more things I didn't know I needed to hear Phil say)

10:55 "What bag?"- danisexcited 10:59 Oh my god both their faces right before they say: 11:00 "Wardrobe!"- Both "Yes!"- Phil 11:02 "We found the content!"- Dan Some simple puzzle solving 11:47 "Wait! I want to go in the bag. This is very important."- Dan 11:50 "Wardrobe!" (Sing it Dan!) "Yes!"- Phil 11:54 "Coatless!"- in sync 11:57 "Dating dress"- Dan "Oohh"- both "Oh hel-lo!"- Dan 12:03 "Tomboy. Equestrian ensemble!"- Dan's over the top gestures and Phil's excited face. 12:05 "I want my ensemble to be that."- Phil (of course you do) mirrors Dan's hand to chest movement. 12:07 "Slay me. Jesus."- Dan 12:12 "Sky blue, statement."- Dan 12:14 Phil with the game info. 12:19 "That's me."- Phil 12:20 "Daddy's girl."- Dan 12:21 "Okay that's not me."- Phil laughs

12:30 "He's shady AF"- Phil 12:35 "'Top o' the mornin' to ha!' Its jacksepticeye"- Phil  12:37 What the hell Dan? Calm down. 12:46 "Investigatink"- Dan 12:47 "I can't do an Irish accent."- Phil, belly laugh  12:48 "This is regional dialect reading test the game."- Dan 13:03 "aforementionedly"- both 13:25 "Stachenscarfen"- Dan 13:26 "That's you."- Phil 13:29 "Auf Deutsch"- Dan 13:38 "In a vay, yes. In a vay, no."- Dan (sounds more Austrian) 13:55 Dan yells into the iPad "Out after midnight are you Stachenscarfen? We're onto you!" (simmer down son)

(I love Phil's hands. They are big yet elegant.)

14:53 "You like twiz the..."- Phil doing circle motions 15:14 "Waiting until its midnight."- Dan says somewhere between cocky and uncertain 15:41 "Yeah. I don't- I mean, sure. Why not? It's like you have lives. Do you have lives?"- Dan 15:46 "Yes!"- Phil "YES!"- Dan 15:49 "But was it for the reason that I said?"- still unsure Dan 16:11 "Oh you want to see a dead body do you Earnest, you want to get real, you want to see crime up in your face? I don't think you can handle it Earnest!"- Dan being extra again 16:38 "Nick Booker" pun 16:48 "Wait I can do this one."- Phil 16:50 "Okay go on Phil, do it."- Dan 16:55 Pause that pose 16:57 "I live for the positive reinforcement of Lady Layton being happy that I'm assembling the clock hand."- Dan 17:03 Phil is distracted momentarily by something off to the side. 

17:05 “Hello copper.”- Dan 17:07 "'Ello 'ello 'ello, Miss Layton.'"-Phil 17:09 "That is exactly what he-"- Dan 17:10 "That's what his face looks like"- Phil 17:11 "With his tiny face!"- squeaky Dan 17:12 "It's so squished."- Phil 17:29 "Yeah get in there."- Phil (what was this about? I forget. Context.)

17:38 Danispanting  17:45 "'Magnificent'."- Dan (inside the clock face) 17:46 "That's just what we were saying."- Phil says so sweet. I think they were admiring the art design but it got cut. 17:52 "I know what gets you going Earnest."- Dan (enormous cogs) 17:58 "Like a corpse."- Dan 18:00 "I wanna do it!"- AssertivePhil (not a corpse mind you) 18:02 "Okay Phil, find the cranny. How good is Phil at finding that spot? He found it. There we go."- danisnotappropriate 18:08 "REDDISH WRISTWATCH!"- x12 nice reference 18:26 "UH CLOCK"- both groaning 18:36 "Get that self esteem, yes!"- high pitched Dan

19:17 "Do you know what you're doing or-?"- Phil with the biggest smile 19:19 "Yeahyeahyeahyeahyeah!"- Dan 19:20 Jumpcut to zoom in on the terrified children and away from a flirty Phil. 19:28 "Woyah!"- Dan 19:32 "Oh no. Oh we f***ed it. Impasse."- Dan 19:42 "You reckon?"- Dan (then “I reckon”) 20:05 "King of Bubbles."- Dan 20:06 "I would not have been able to do that."- Phil 20:07 "Really? You play a lot of uh, of um, shape popping apps."- Dan 20:11 "True. Maybe. Maybe."- Phil's eyes 

20:17 “Who do you think stole the hand?”- Phil 20:21 "I think it was the dog."- Phil 20:36 "I feel like that's a good taste of the mystery solving experience."- Dan 20:38 "Yeah. You've given it a little lick, but you don't know the full answers. Cause you could go find out yourself-"- Phil 20:43 "You just ruined the nice... description..."- Dan 20:46 "Like you've got the flavor."- Phil 20:47 "Why do you- no, no!"- Dan 20:48 "Like a lollipop."- Phil 20:49 "Stop with the licking!"- Dan 20:50 "Sorry."- back to innocent angel faced Phil

21:00 Price and Promo 21:16 "I'm just here for the anime to be honest, like a show I just started watching."- Dan 21:20 Phil tongue 21:21 "A lick of the Layton Lolly."- holy hell Dan, looking at Phil while saying that was indecent 21:31 "Clicking our buttons."- Phil 21:34 "For more vids, last vid."- Dan 21:38 "I'm gonna go kidnap a talking dog."- Dan 21:39 Sherlock theme outro and eye hand thing by Phil.