#also in my head rent free lives a world where he lived but deals with half his body and his chest being scarred to shit

[braywashed]

Omg can you imagine if that was part of the universe? The fact that Parkers actor and Billys mom are the same? I feel like I need a story where Billy teaches Max how to pickpocket because his mother taught him. Omg. The possibilities. Or even like “That watch is a beautiful piece, fake, but beautiful” and some woman getting offended because billy can spot a fake a mile away. Now I have a mighty need to want to write this. Omg. or like him being chaos in the mall because he's stating off the reason price of jewelry pieces and which ones are lab made. I could see him making a game of it with Max to teach her new things because it's how he sees ensuring her survival for the future. "Never let anyone give you their grandmothers ring if I haven't looked at it first. Costume pieces can get real fancy"

It’s the normal thing some writers too ‘lets introduce this character and then kill them because we need our main characters to suffer’ its stupid.

There’s so much tangled up in billy’s past, bless him. I feel like he’d need so much therapy to even begin to unpack everything.

And it’s all good if you’re upset, emotions are our minds way of processing, sometimes that processing isn’t pretty and that’s okay

the fact that max can pick locks has always made me wonder where the hell she got that from. like either he taught her that shit, or he locked her in her room so many times she had to learn that shit. and given she has to answer the door for his shit ass, that seems unlikely. unless her dad was doin some shady shit. we don't know anything about that dude other than he apparently doesn't pay fuckin' child support if s4 is any indication.

oh it's totally normal but the fact that this show in particular you literally know as soon as someone pops up that they're dead is like. come the fuck on. like they literally do the same exact fake death + redemption death every season. like JUST FUCKING KILL SOMEONE. IT'S A HORROR FRANCHISE. NO BALLS.

his therapy is punch punch.

[unhelpfulfemme]

More random Captive Prince thoughts, because I feel like being a sadist to all of my mutuals these books are living rent-free in my head right now. These ones are more about the plot and the worldbuilding.

Worldbuilding-wise, I loved the attention to detail, because as far as I could tell all the little details of how a medieval-ish army functions and how you would run it and what you would do with the horses and the supplies and the roads etc. etc. were pretty accurate. I mean, these books are by no means a treatise on warfare (in fact they can be delightfully pulpy, which I liked - I grew up on The Three Musketeers and the Scarlet Pimpernell and similar swashbuckling novels, and I got some of the same feelings here!), but there were details in there that most other authors don't bother to put in or inadvertently fuck up (I love ASOIAF to death but historically accurate it is not), and most of the military stuff seemed plausible enough as well, though again not described in too much detail so you can fill it in with your own assumptions or skim over if it's not something that particularly interests you. And I also loved the architectural details and could imagine everything quite well, but again, as I said previously, this may be because the author spent some time living near where I live so we've seen a lot of the same stuff probably.

Actually when I was first reading it and thinking it was going to be bad I was reading it exclusively for the architectural details lol, I was like yeah, yeah, they're all sucking each other off, but Damen please tell me again how you feel about the tiling?

What I also particularly liked is how the... scale of the conflict I guess? was refreshingly accurate for the "historical period".

The worldbuilding is a mashup of Ancient Greece and medieval France, but what it really felt like to me is a world where the Roman Empire never really consolidated to the extent that it did in our world and Italy went on into the middle ages (because these are decidedly feudal systems) with Cisalpine Gaul having the, well, Gallic culture, while the South had a Greek one. I may be thinking this because I live in Italy and so everything reminds me of Italy, but once I thought of it I couldn't unsee it.

I guess I gotta put in a cut somewhere and now's as good of a time as any?

But anyway, back to the scale of the conflict, the actual middle ages were filled with small and mid-sized countries, and petty local conflicts with family members turning onto each other over succession and stuff, and random small territories going back and forth (well, that's just Europe in general, always, TBH), and this is how it all felt like to me. Actual medieval history has a guy who started a rebellion because his brothers threw a pisspot at him and his father did nothing about it and he felt humiliated, and the war was secretly funded by his mother, so the combination of the small scale with a random local conflict that probably literally nobody cares about outside of the region we are in + everything being so intensely driven by interpersonal drama between insane people felt really authentic to me, like the kind of weird historical moment that would get turned into a funny Tumblr post. And of course the royals did a lot more sneaking around than was probably smart, but I can forgive that for the swashbuckling vibes and also because if Cleopatra could sneak into a palace in a carpet these guys can do whatever they want in my book.

Speaking of the petty interpersonal drama, I also liked the emphasis on how in this system personal reputation and the performance of kingship are king. Usually when you have a heavily political story it's much more based on the quid-pro-quo, "rational actor" kind of politics, but medieval politics also had a lot more going on in the cultural sense (and so do modern politics actually but at least pretending to be a "rational actor" IS the modern performance of leadership), and here you had people dealing political blows through meticulous management of their own and others' political reputations, which was fun to see, especially in combination with so many manipulative bastard characters. Like, how Laurent is manipulated into going to the border just because looking like a coward will lose him more political points than he can afford, and Damen's continued wearing of the slave cuff and instistence on not being served by slaves initially deals massive blows to his reputation, because these are cultures that value heroism, of one sort or another.

(And speaking of heroism, the emphasis on the physical activity-related activities that are the centerpiece of noble life in both countries were wonderful, especially since because both Ancient Greece and the European Middle Ages were really into that in their respective ways and it makes the mashup feel really well-done and coherent in how she tied it together.)

What's notable is a lack of any kind of religion, which felt particularly glaring during the whole Kingsmeet thing - in the real world there would likely be a belief in some kinda curse from the Gods or something similar to discourage the drawing of weapons, but since I'm not really religious and tend not to personally care about religion (while ofc recognizing its anthropological importance) I really didn't care and it didn't diminish my enjoyment of the series.

Still, I do have to say that the ending of the last book felt reeeeaally rushed, and that felt really glaring exactly because the rest of the series had such amazing detail work and excellent pacing and very gradual plot development.

I didn't get the part with the doctor and the letter (why didn't he say anything earlier? how would they verify the authenticity of the letter? Did anyone even have the time to READ the thing?) but I'm gonna be honest with you here, I read book 3 under a heavy fever and it was like 2 AM when I got to that part, so I'm not sure that I haven't missed something that makes it make more sense.

BUT even if that part makes sense, I feel like the Regent was dealt with far too quickly. Like in one paragraph he is in control of everything, in the next they've already beheaded him and that's it. I can imagine in my head that a lot of the nobles were probably already sick of him and took little convincing, that they were disapproving both of his meddling in foreign politics and of his likely grave breach of cultural rules via taking an aristo kid as a pet, or that he initially rationally seemed a better choice over Laurent until Laurent proved himself to be more competent and with a more competent ally, or they already had some hints about what happened that the audience didn't and the evidence confirmed what was inconclusive before.

But I feel like in a series that spends so much time detailing the shifting alliances between the characters and the public's opinion on everyone that matters? I really needed to be sold on it a bit more. Like I really needed some discussion over what to do with the Regent, I needed them to keep him in a cell for a while as they decided whether to kill him (and have the leads scared that the Regent will turn them over as Laurent often does to people), I needed them to consider the evidence just a little bit more, I needed some post mortem with the council members where they explain what was happening on their side of the things. It needed to be MUCH longer and more detailed.

Another thing I wondered at was why the Regent was so insistent to paint Laurent's collaborations with the Akielons as a bad thing when he was... also collaborating with the Akielons? Like he is foaming at the mouth calling them barbarians and accusing Laurent of sleeping with the prince-killer but it feels more like setup for Damen's big declaration of love than an actual political strategy because my brother in Christ, you are literally in the Akielon royal palace, in the middle of Akielos to which you ran after your nephew started a rebellion, with the Akielon king sitting next to you as your equal. Why do you think that you can convince your people that YOUR Vere-Akielos alliance is somehow more morally pure than Laurent's? This was also the right moment to pull out all the patricide allegations that seemed to be going around for Damen, but IIRC he didn't use that as much as he could if at all.

Since there were some Akielons in the room as well, I was also wondering WTF was Kastor doing as the Regent was shitting on his country and calling them barbarians and making it like allying with them is a grave transgression? Why was HE allowing this humiliation? It felt like a very unpolitical thing to do from a character whose strength was in his political acumen (obviously meaning the Regent, not Kastor) and the plot just let it slide by.

I feel like a lot of this is due to this being the first time that the story had to fit within the constraints of a traditional book? So it needed a decisive traditional climax and perhaps it was getting too long for a traditional format, or the author got a bit tired of it and wanted to wind it up now that she wasn't getting regular feedback as you do with serialized publishing, or she prioritized emotional impact over plot logic.

I don't know. I still think they're great books, and the conclusion was emotionally satisfying in the sense that the psychological and interpersonal threads were wrapped up impeccably, I just wanted more detail on the political side. It's still grabbed me like nothing else did for a long time, I can take a mid ending, half of my favourite series will never have one at all because the author wrote themselves into a corner and then died lol.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

read more of the good omens book. forget Nord and Surfshark, get me AntichristVPN.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH GOOD OMENS MASCOT HERE I read the chapter thursday!

The book now has a strange yellowing on the top of the pages. I do not know where it came from. The infamous Good Omens book wreckage has begun.

Anathema finally meets Adam (he stops by to comfort her because she's crying, aw Adam you sweetheart) but she gets brainwashed instantly and can't be suspicious about him.

NordVPN has nothing on the AntichristVPN.

No but really people can't even think about him beyond a superficial level (their thoughts slide off yes like water and ducks). CAN YOU DO THAT FOR ME, NORD? I THINK THE FUCK NOT. SIGN ME UP FOR ANTICHRISTVPN.

Sign up now for a five day free trial. After that the world's ending so you'll have to either pay the fuck up or opt the fuck out.

Crowley did not make an appearance in this chapter, so I will simply say the line that lives rent-free and squats in my head: "Right," mumbled Crowley, suddenly feeling very alone.

HNGK.

(that was a beautiful lovechild of the tumblr hnng and the ngk)

Adam is so ethereal omg. Though I suppose one would say he's occult. Which he would assume, as per the book, meant he's going to be an optometrist.

I seem to remember something about Lucifer being the most beautiful of angels before he fell. Wonder if Crowley had a little crush.

NO WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT CROWLEY SORRY. RIGHT YES. OCCULT. Anathema teaches Adam about occult things, such as global warming, no more Americans in Long Island, and recycled paper.

Brian fancies himself an expert on witches. As is the case with most self-proclaimed experts, that means he says a good deal of inaccurate things with a great deal of confidence in their accuracy.

I'm rather proud of that last point. It sounds very good omens writing-style. Like if you bought Good Omens from Wish.

Wensleydale did slightly more correct reading, but Adam decided the Spanish Inquisition cannot be chanting only in Latin.

Adam also decided that his contribution to the Spanish decor would be onions. Because onions could be Spanish. Spain does have onions.

Does Spain have onions? It does now. If you live in Spain and have onions, you should know that you only think you've always had onions, but really you started having onions when Adam decided you did.

None of the previous point is in the book. It is my Creative Interpretation.

Pepper is Head Torturer, her sister is adorable, and she beat up the boys the first time they met.

SHERBET LEMONNNNNN

OH THE LINE ABOUT ADAM'S AURA I LOVE IT SO MUCH YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I LOVE IT. IT'S SO. IT'S SO.

I DON'T REMEMBER IF IT WAS IN THE SHOW BUT I LOVE IT OK. IT PROBABLY WAS AND I FORGOT.

ANATHEMA CAN'T SEE ADAM'S AURA AND:

It may, or may not, have helped Anathema get a clear view of things if she'd been allowed to spot the very obvious reason why she couldn't see Adam's aura. It was for the same reason that people in Trafalgar Square can't see England.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

For the non-English people who didn't get it, well... Trafalgar Square is in London.

Why do I know that? Easy. Monopoly. Heh.

FUCK YEAH LESSGOOOO APOCALYPSE UNDERWAYYYYYYYYY.

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: A Long Time Coming {1}

Lewis Hamilton x Friend Group Reader

Warning: Cursing, Teasing, Slow Burn, Plot

Words: 5.5k

Summary:  After a long, grueling and stressful 2023 season where Lewis dominated and showed the world once again why he was the best at what he does. He walks away with his 8th championship title and plans with his closest and bestest for some much-needed R&R.

Note: If you couldn’t tell by the summary, we are manifesting with this fic, MANIFESTING HARD for Lewis for 2023. Also, thank you Ru for filling in some of the friend info for me. XOXO

 Thank you for reading, I appreciate it!

 If you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!!

 ***NOT Edited/Proofread***

***Interactive***

 ~~~~~~~

"Just fuck already! Everyone knows you both want to. Shit it’s been years of this pining from a distance, and will they won’t they suspense. Years of both of you playing too many fucking games!"

 Your eyes widened at her unexpected outburst; an outburst geared to you.

 "Hey, hey, easy with those accusations, matter of fact baseless accusations."

 You continued to apply her your makeup. Everyone was set to meet at the airfield at a certain time and though you were usually late for most things that didn’t include work, you really wanted to get there on time.

 "Baseless? Y/N! The looks you both share, the undercover flirting that everyone has peeped at some time or another over the years since you reconnected, the connection, the--."

 "Aht, Aht, Aht, stop all that mess. Whatever you're smoking please bring some along cause we all deserve to be this delusional at some point on this trip."

 Gisella hip bumper you so hard that you went flying onto the bed. When you landed you busted out into a fit of giggles. "What have I told you about using that weapon against friendlies?"

 "Friendlies my ass! I’m just tryna help your kitty kat finally purr. No one should have to be celibate for 4 years."

 "Ain’t nobody forcing me. It's a choice," you countered.

 "A choice because you’ve been dealing with fools, assholes and below subpar men and you don’t have to when you have Lewis."

 "I don’t have Lewis, everyone has Lewis," you teased taking a stab at his philandering reputation.

 Gisella couldn’t help but giggle. Lew's reputation was legendary. You’d heard so many rumors about every aspect of him over the years it was insane. You tried to steer clear of the majority of it but there were bombs that were dropped among your friend group and those bombs had made you know more about his alleged stroke game and alleged baseball bat pleasure stick than you should.

 Those bits lived rent free in your head, but you'd never admit it out loud or to yourself for that matter. Before your head could drift off to those rent-free thoughts, you shook your head hoping to clear it. Just then Nikki walked in dressed as if this trip was a fashion show. No doubt she was wearing everything from her new line, Baciami.

 "Another Lewis denial?"

 "You know it!”

 You rolled your eyes. When these two decided to gang up on you, you didn't stand a chance. Rolling off the bed, you scurried into the ensuite to grab the rest of your beauty items to pack. Though you knew where each item was, you took your sweet time, not wanting to hurry back into the bedroom for your friends to continue the current conversation. The vibration of your phone tucked into your front tie top buzzed against your breast. You knew it wasn’t a good thing to keep your phone against your breast, but it was usually always the most convenient place for you.

 MSG Lewis: Wheels up at 8 no if, ands, or buts, I’m not even playing, kitten.

 You rolled your eyes then tapped out a reply. Before you sent yours another text from him came in.

 MSG Lewis: I’m not afraid to leave your ass behind.

 “Ha,” you said to yourself.

 Opting for a voice reply, you went off.

 “Listen you may be fucking eight-time championship holder and feeling yourself hard over this newly long awaited and much deserved title but don’t get it twisted. I am the life of this party, have always been the life of this party, and will always be the life of this party. Just sit there looking pretty and expect me when you see me.”

 You made sure all your sass and attitude dripped from every single word, then hit send with a smile on your face as you waited for his no doubt equally sass filled response. Sure, enough about half a minute later you got his reply, a voice one.

 “Put some respect on my name and run me my respect. I am an eight-time title holder, and I don’t take anyone’s shit no matter how beautiful they are. Get your fine ass here on time or else, kitten.”

 You heard the words he emphasized and the way his voice oozed of authority and control and your belly clenched. Your head went back to the rumors of his Dom kink, and you slumped against the bathroom sink with a sigh. It was just another bit of evidence you had to lock away in the untouchable, unspeakable box of things pretraining to Lewis. The man himself was in this box and definitely classified under untouchable. You listened to the message again and clung to him calling you beautiful and pointing out your fine ass. You sighed again knowing that he would see you taking this long to reply as his victory. The man was competitive in everything.

 “Or else what? You know damn well that I’ve got you wrapped around my pinky finger. You ain’t goin nowhere without me and that’s that on that!”

 You giggled as you send the voice reply. When you turned, there stood Gisella and Nikki both with snarky “I told you so, you’re caught” looks on their faces.

 “Oh the foreplay is very telling,” Nikki said.

 You rolled your eyes, grabbing your things and walking back into the bedroom.

 “Ugh, whatever. He says he’ll leave us if we’re not on time. So let’s try not to get left ladies.”

 You disappeared across the way into your closet determined to finish up everything you still had to do. Thirty minutes later, you were all in the SUV that had been sent for you with your bags loaded in the back finally on your way to the airfield. On the drive you replied to the last emails from your agent and editor ensuring they knew you weren’t going to be too attached to your emails. Their reminders to have the rest of the chapters for your book completed by the time your returned from this trip made you roll your eyes to the back of your head.

 They’d been hounding you for these chapters for three months now. Three months of daily “friendly” email remainders, three months of weekly drop ins to check on” your wellbeing, and monthly sit-down meetings that stretched for hours for mapping and plans all centered around this second book that apparently everyone was anticipating. Maybe the anticipation was the reason why you were so reluctant to write it. maybe your stroke of luck with the pen had fizzled, maybe you just weren’t into the idea anymore.

 Those were the reasons you gave them when they asked what was taking so long. Those were the PC reasons. You couldn’t very well tell them that your well of inspiration for sex, smut and sultry human connections had dried and caved into the center of the Earth. You couldn’t tell them that you were dry in more ways than one. So instead of exposing yourself in that unfavorable way, you tapped out a very professional response.

 Consider it done.

 Exiting your emails, you sighed. Hopefully this trip ended up being for more than celebrating Lewis’ 8th title. Perhaps by the end of this vacation you’d come back with a hundred pages of unputdownable content, even if you had to fake it till you made it.

 “Why is there such a huge wave of stress coming off of you now?”

 “Just my manager and editor on my back again. They worse than Sallie Mae!”

 Your friends laughed.

 “That’s why you shouldn’t have made that first book so damn good. Now everybody waiting, tapping their feet expecting a slab of gold to drop into their hands,” Gisella said.

 “So she should be mediocre?”

 “I say just write something. You’ve been dragging your feet for three months. Just give them something and be done with it.”

 “I mean that is an option, Nikki added.

 “I don’t want to just give something half assed. I wanna feel it and I just haven’t been feeling it no matter how hard I try,” you admitted.

 The silence stretched for a few moments before Nikki piped up. “Maybe a change of scenery is what you need. This trip will do you some good. We promise to give you time to write.”

 You squeezed her hand as a thank you before you bounced your shoulder into Gisella for the same purpose. They may mess with you mercilessly, but they also had your back to the end.

Miraculously you made it to the airfield with five minutes to spar. The driver unloaded your bags once you got the private jet while the three of you approached the others waiting there. Once Daniel shouted your name, they all turned. You waved at Daniel, his girlfriend Cassie, and Mabdulle, his girlfriend Robin, Miles, and Andrew. They four happily waved back at you but the closer you got you realized there was another person there.

 Squinting your eyes, you peered closer behind your dark sunglasses. There stood a slim, brunette with high lights at the ends of her hair giving her the ombre look. She wore tiny shorts and a crop top and knee high sparkly heeled boots. You watched her put her arm around Lewis’ shoulder then scoffed because you immediately knew why she was there. His plaything for the trip.

 “Who is that boney girl?”

 You snorted at Gisella. She always acted like this was the first time she’d ever seen Lewis’ antics on display.

 “She is how I know Iont got Lewis, everyone’s got Lewis. “

 Nikki snorted and threw her head back laughing. “This trip is sure going to be interesting.”

 “Whatever, she won’t last three days before he’s sent her packing,” Gisella voiced.

 “Three days huh?”

 Nikki looked as if she were contemplating deeply over those words before she added to the wager. “I give it two.”

 You looked between them and shook your head. You were not going to partake in this bet because they both had good odds.

 “I see your ass likes playing with fire,” Lewis said holding up his designer gold and diamond watch that you knew had to have cost him half a mil.

 “You know I like it when it hurts.”

 “Yoooo!”

 Daniel spun around in his exaggerated fashion heightening the antics. You loved him dearly. You considered him the best of Lewis’ friends. He always seemed to be genuinely looking out for him and his best interests.

 “Bruv, that’s very telling,” Miles added.

 You shrugged, “I’m a grown ass woman, not tryna keep no secrets. “Hi, I’m Justice!”

 You looked to the beauty because Lewis. She had her hand held out a wide smile on her face and her sunglasses atop her head. no one else spoke and you felt all the eyes on you watching to see what you’d do. You didn’t know what the interest was for. You glanced at Daniel and Cassie who both lifted their brow like the synchronized couple they were while Miles has a Cheshire cat smile on his face looking like that creature in the movie Grimcutty. He clearly was expecting some showdown.

 “Hey, I’m Y/N, this is Nikki and Gisella.”

 You shook her hand in a pleasant way, your mother didn’t raise no ill-mannered child. Soon after, Nikki and Gisella both shook her hand, but it was done with complete lackluster. They didn’t like her for no other reason than she was coming along.

 “Cute glasses,” Justice said pointing to the ones you were wearing.

 “LewLewBoo has the same ones.”

 LewLewBoo you thought while stifling your amusement. Lewis hated cutesy cutesy nicknames. He wasn’t against a few of them but this one you knew he hated. Lewis nudged Justice as if to say cut it out and she gave him an apologetic look, shrinking back slightly.

 “Well, LewLewBoo is always trying to cop my style and be like me what more can we expect from the 8-time champion.”

 His smile widened and you couldn’t help but smile back. The two of you squared up neither budging until you both went in for a hug. He lifted you then spun you.

 “I am so proud of you again. So proud and so so happy!”

 His arms held you off the ground like you didn’t weigh a thing. The tight squeeze gave you ever impression of how strong those arms were.

 “Thank you for always being there,” Lewis said so only you could hear.

 “Of course. What’re friends for?”

 Your eyes locked and you saw how much your actions throughout the season meant to him. You’d been to every weekend, every event. You’d been more than just a friend to him over the last nine months. You’d been a therapist when things went wrong and he was expected to smile through it, a sounding board on different ideas he’d come up with both for racing and his other ventures, alternate strategist when you saw things a little differently than the rest and your vision connected with his, comic when he needed a good laugh about all the bullshit, entertainer when he needed to relieve some stress with a song or some other shit, storyteller when the nights were too much and he needed a soft voice with calming words to soothe the madness inside his head and everything in between. You didn’t mind. That was what friends were for.

 “Are we lifting off?”

  Mabdulle’s uncertain question filtered between the two of you breaking the moment. When Lewis returned you to your feet, you stepped back securing your sunglasses right back on your nose. The group of you made your way to the jet then piled in. Everyone scattered for their version of the perfect seat. The guys congregated around Lewis while the ladies broke off for their own space.

 “Did you hear where we’re going?”

 “Where?”

 “Don’t tell her shit,” Lewis shouted spinning back to look at the group.

 “Come on there is no point in keeping it a secret anymore. I’m here,” you whined.

 “Quit your whining girl. You said you’d go anywhere with me and I’m ‘bout to test that shit.”

 “Oh god, are we going to Switzerland so you can fuck with me Lewis?”

 “I can fuck with you anywhere, girl!”

 Your belly flipped from those words, and it was the most unexpected thing that you had no words for a smartass rebuttal. Lewis saw it too and cocked his head to the side as you dropped down into your seat with a perplexed look on your face.

 Gisella leaned to your ear and whispered, “I’m jumping on Nikki’s bet, 2 days max cause that was clear flirting.”

 You rolled your eyes and did what you did best, faked it till you made it.

 “Whatever.”

 The flight was as rowdy as it always was when all of you got together. The banter was what you all were known for. At every opportunity you took the bait to clown Miles because he was always coming for you. It wasn’t that you hated him, you just liked to push his buttons, liked to rile him up and tease him mercilessly. Sometimes there was this vibe to him that there was something darker to him that he kept hidden at all costs. Sometimes you saw it though. You’d told Lewis about it, but he wasn’t surprised to hear it. He was a great people reader, and he was always aware of the vibes people gave off.

 You were unable to blot Justice out though. She seemed like a nice enough girl to you. An upcoming model, of course, that met Lewis at some fashion event he was at, again of course. She definitely seemed infatuated with him, definitely DTF. You didn’t knock her for that because there was absolutely nothing wrong with being DTF. However, every time she sashayed toward Lewis and sat in his lap to giggle and whisper with him you noted the way your belly rolled like you’d eaten something bad, and it was wrestling you inside. It was interesting and it was something you shoved into the travel bag of untouchable things that you absolutely should stay away from and avoid.

 ~~~~~

 “Ladies and gentlemen, we are beginning our decent into our destination. Local time is 4pm. Please buckle your seatbelts and prepare for landing. Thank you for flying today Sir Hamilton.”

 You sat up and tried to get a look out the window to get something about where you were, but it was useless, you couldn’t see at all.

 MSG Lewis: Don’t worry. Sit back. You’ll love it here. You won’t want to leave in a week.

 You glanced across the jet to find him sitting by himself with one leg resting on the other at the ankle. He was leaned back in the seat looking as if he were expecting someone to approach him and give him a lap dance.

 MSG: You told me to take three weeks. Where are we going after?

MSG Lewis: You’ll see.

 You gave him a death glare then rolled your eyes.

 MSG: If I’m stressing about where we’re going this whole time, I’m going to blame you to my editor and manager when I come back with not even a page of the one hundred I’m supposed to have written.

 He smiled.

 MSG Lewis: Not my fault you’re curious George. One day that curiosity is gonna get you into some shit you can’t get out of.

MSG: Like what sir?

 You watched his face morph through different emotions, surprise, interest, confusion then regret. You were slightly fascinated wondering what it was he was thinking. Before he could answer, Justice reached out and squeezed his thigh in a spot that said she was familiar with his body. Again, that feeling in your stomach returned but this one irritated you and you found it was harder to push it into that travel bag.

 By the time everyone marched out of the jet, you were more than ready for a drink and a shower. The heat hit you like a low hanging branch to the face. This definitely wasn’t Switzerland. Once all the bags were offloaded, a tall lanky man approached the group.

 “Welcome Mr. Hamilton. It is an honor to have you with us. My name is Mosi.”

 He had a thick African accent. Your eyes widened. Were you where you wanted to go? If so, how did he know you wanted to come here?

 “Thank you for having us, Mosi “Lewis replied.

 You tried to keep your giddiness under wraps, but it was incredibly difficult.

 “Follow me and my team will gather your luggage.”

 A line of four people walked toward the jet while the rest of you followed Mosi. Lewis chatted with him in hushed voices that you couldn’t pick up. You wondered if he was talking so low because of you.

 “Why can’t you just let him surprise you?”

 You hadn’t even noticed Mabdulle moseying up beside you. You snorted realizing you’d been caught eavesdropping or attempting to.

 “I mean I can, I just—want to know.”

 He nodded slowly then shook his head. “He’s been planning this for a bit, couldn’t make up his mind where until like a few days ago. Sit back and let him rock.”

 You began to wonder if he was so indecisive because of you. Before you even asked, Mabdulle nodded.

 “The things we do for friends.”

 With that he walked ahead over to Daniel and Cassie leaving you to wonder what he meant by that and why he’d said it the way he did.

 After a few more steps, you saw the two charter planes that had paddles attached to the bottom of them. Another clue you said to yourself. You were in Africa and going to land somewhere with water. Everyone split up to load into the two planes. You made sure to get into the plane that Lewis and Justice weren’t getting into. You didn’t want to watch any sort of PDA. Just before Lewis got into the plane you watched he glance around as if searching for something. When his eyes landed on yours you noted the clench of his jaw but before he could make another move Justice called his name in a cutesy whine. You clenched your jaw from annoyance because if this was what you were going to have to listen to this whole trip you were going to jump out this plane without a chute.

 Your jaw was dropped, hands pressed to the glass and tongue practically hanging out as you watched the scenery coast by. The turquoise in the ocean called to you, the variation of the shades of greens in the trees complimented it perfectly and you imagined sitting underneath them enjoying a nice breeze and a cocktail. To the horizon the rural lands were such a contrast to the sandy beaches it did nothing but take your breath away. It was perfect. It was everything you’d wanted when you’d seen a random picture and said in passing it was your idea of a perfect vacation. You couldn’t wait to soak it all up.

 The plane landed in the ocean and glided its way to a full stop right on the beach and slowly everyone disembarked.

 “Wow, this is gorgeous,” Robin said staring out into the water once she was on the sand.

 “I can’t wait to get in,” Nikki added.

 You were too busy snapping pictures for memories to join in on the conversation. Every shot was even better than the last and every shot had you more and more excited. The breathtaking sunset was the perfect backdrop and opening for what you hoped was going to be a great vacation.

 “Welcome to & Beyond, Mozambique’s most popular destination,” Mosi said as he stood to the front of the group with his back to the uber luxurious dwellings on the property.

 Your smile was so wide you knew you looked like an idiot.  Lewis caught your eye, and he was smiling just as wide as you were. You mouthed “thank you” and gave you a nod while tapping the side of his nose. It was a thing both of you always did to the other to say, “I got you”. It had always been like that. he’d do whatever he could for you no matter what it was you asked for, and you’d do the same. It wasn’t a tit for tat type of thing or favor for favor it was genuine care all the time.

 After a quick tour of the massive property that Lewis had taken liberty to rent out completely just so your group could really relax without any eyes, you all split up to lock down your rooms and settle in. The local time was nearing dinner and you were teetering on ravenous thanks to you skipping breakfast and only opting for a small fruit salad on the plane as lunch. Your room was perfect, it faced the ocean and gave you quite the view. You knew it would be the perfect view for any late-night writing sessions. And if this was what you were working with then you were excited to get to it.

 You took a shower then plopped onto the floor in your towel to go through your luggage for something to wear for dinner. With your headphones in you went through your choices until you heard the notification sound from your phone. When you glanced down, you found a message from Lewis.

 MSG Lewis: I hope you like the room; you got the best view. I hope it helps with your writer’s block.

 Realization hit you, he’d planned all of this. He’d chosen this place because of you, given you the room with the best view all in hopes to get your groove back. you could have released an audible “oof” right then and there.

 MSG: You didn’t have to do all of this for me.

MSG Lewis: Shut up.

MSG: I’m serious.

MSG Lewis: I like doing things for you. Plus it’s nothing more than all you’ve done for me over the years. WAFF.

 The ball of tension in your belly faded and left a sinking feeling. What are friends for. You took a deep breath, held it for a beat, then slowly let it out. It was then you put your phone down and continued what you were doing with your music much higher than before. After a while you managed to put together something cute and just as you were putting on a lite layer of makeup Nikki walked in.

 “What’s taking you so long?”

 “Perfection takes time.”

 “Heeeeeyyy!”

 You laughed, bringing your attention back to the mirror to finish your brows.

 “Where’s Gisella?”

 “Trying to get all the gossip on Justice. She did a dive on IG and found out she’s a model but also an IG—persona. She saw a few pictures of her with a few other celebs and now she is trying to get the tea.”

 You nodded, of course she was. Gisella could find out anything about anyone. She was better than TMZ, better than any other gossip blog hands down.

 “You don’t seem to care about it though.”

 “Why should I care? I’m all good until she proves to be a problem.”

 Nikki studied you for a moment. You could feel her eyes boring holes into your back. You were not going to fall for it though. She wanted you to open up but opening up was the last thing you planned on doing on this vacation.

 Dinner was amazing, the food on display across the banquet style table was exquisite. Michelin star restaurants in the states could never. Everything you put into your mouth you moaned for, every dish placed before you, you devoured, every flavor that burst over your tastebuds had you rocking in your seat. There was nothing that was off. You tried to keep up with the conversations around you while enjoying the food, but you were sure you missed plenty of useful tidbits.

 When dessert came you slowly ate the decadent cake and looked around the table at all your friends. Time together like this was rare. Lewis’ schedule was nuts, and then when you added yours, it was difficult to get everyone together. Across the table, you noticed Lewis doing the same thing. He was probably thinking the same thing you were. When your eyes met, his smile widened. It was soft and inviting, so similar to him. It slipped for a moment and was replaced by a crinkled brow and a screwed jaw. He looked like he was thinking deeply about something. However, the look quickly disappeared. Raising his glass to you, he bopped his head. You returned the gesture and returned your attention to your plate.

 After dinner, no one seemed eager to go to bed, instead the drinks rolled out and the stories began. No one was safe from being put on blast, no one was left untouched from some embarrassing story from some point in their life and because of that the laughs never ended. When everyone said their goodbyes, you decided to set yourself up to write. After getting everything ready and setting your atmosphere just the way you wanted you sat down with the view of the soft rolling waves of the ocean as your focal point and a bottle of wine beside you. After taking the time to reread your last written chapter you were half a bottle down in the wine with worries of how you were going to match that steam.

 “All right, Y/N, let’s get this down and done.”

 You cracked your knuckles then set your hands ready to fly across the keyboard. Twenty minutes later, your screen was empty and your fingers still hovering over the keyboard.

 “Shit.”

 You grabbed the wine and guzzled the rest then groaned when you realized it was finished. You ventured through the villa to one of the bars and picked out two more bottles. You were determined to get something down. You’d take anything at this point, a sentence, a word. Hell, even a period. Sitting back down, you popped the top of the wine and took a few gulps foregoing the glass sitting to your left. what was the point? This wine tasted a lot stronger than the one you’d just had, and you were grateful for that. With a mouthful of wine, you set yourself for attempt number two.

 Like the first attempt, twenty minutes later you had nothing. That led you to finish the second bottle of wine as you talked to yourself about nothing in particular just your failure to do the simplest of tasks. An hour later, the only thing you’d accomplished was finishing the wine you’d gotten from the bar. You were surrounded by the empty bottles that were scattered around the floor while you were sprawled on the bed. You’d abandoned your laptop and was just staring at the ceiling waiting for the wine to put you to sleep. As your eyes lulled closed, you heard muffled moans that sounded as if they were coming from the room beside you. With your eyes wide, you held still waiting to see if you’d imagined it. A few seconds later, they sounded again.

 What the hell? You knew either Nikki or Gisella were beside you and you also knew that they couldn’t be busting it down with anyone. Your eyes widened even more than you thought it was Gisella and Mabdulle. You’d always gotten the vibes that they were into each other but wanted to keep it on the low.

 “Oh my gosh.”

 You sprang up and pressed your ear to the wall like a total creeper. You planned on holding this over her head for the rest of eternity whenever she tried to come for you. It was quiet over there and you didn’t know if you should be thankful or feel bad about it. Someone was not putting in work.

 “Just stop.”

 You pressed closer hearing that. Stop what?

 “I can make you feel good.”

 You began to wonder why she was pleading with him. This was not Gisella. She took what she wanted, and you knew for a fact she knew how to have a grown man sounding like a whimpering child. You heard slurping sounds and more muffled moaning then gagging. Other than that, it was silent. This definitely wasn’t Gisella. whoever it was did not know their way around a dick. The silence was very telling. You stifled a laugh because you hoped it was Miles, hoped he’d somehow picked someone up and was getting the worst lackluster head of his life. However, it was not.

 “Mmm, Lewis.”

 Your smile dropped, your eyed bugged and you made a face of disgust. No fucking way. Lewis took the room beside you. He knew this was the room he’d chosen for you, which meant this was a deliberate choice. What the fuck? Was he fucking with you? Why?

 “It's not working, it’s cool.”

 “No, let me try some more. What’re you thinking about?”

 He sighed. “W-A-F-F.”

 At that you pulled away from the wall as if it had turned into lava. What the actual fuck! The slurping and moaning began again but you could tell it was not from Lewis, you could tell that he was completely disinterested. As you listened part of you wanted to laugh because this was just pathetic. Another part of you wanted to melt into the mattress and disappear. You’d never been on this side of things, never overheard his shenanigans, never been the fly on the wall. You didn’t know how to act, much less what to think. Another part of you wanted to kick the wall down and show her how it’s done, but another part that was seeing radioactive green and all you wanted to do was She Hulk smash her ass then Sparta kick her into the ocean telling her to doggy paddle back to the states. Was it a strong reaction? Yes, it was. Did you understand it? Not at all.

 So you laid there hearing her failed attempts at making him feel good while letting your thoughts wander on what he meant by saying he was thinking about the code between you, the code he’d said to you several times that day. You knew one thing for certain, tomorrow you were changing your room.

PT 2 Coming....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TagList:

@chaneajoyyy @caramara3 @valkryienymph @babyflowa07 @est1887 @halfrican-heat @mauvecherie-writes @nunya7394 @lovebittenbyevans @gardenwonders2 @sweetlikecoffy @dillie60 @ olabelle757 @ophiaedits @kenequa @triton08 @skyesthebomb @shipatheart @keytodespair @xsweetdellzx @labella420 @coldmuffinbanditshoe @ak329 @shar74nett @youremysuperstar @whore-like-behaviour

@alookintohersoul @asiaaisa77 @jd-now-jq @naturalthrone22      @mrsbarnes-rogers @beyourownkindofbeautiful @beccacupcakesxo @toni9  @wonderlandfandomkingdom @partypoison00 @queenoftheworldisdead  @doublesidedscoobysnacks @sophiealiice @richonne4life @coffeebooksandfandom @siempremamita @raveviolet @dumbchick  @amennariee @briellableu @leebabe444 @31miw-inkpsycho

@rororo06 @disaster-rose @bugngiz @yourwonderbelle @queenbetter  @melaninhawtie @bekindbecoolbeyou​

[slexenskee]

JJK Recs

Got a comment on this and figured I'd turn it into a post. Here are some of my favorite Gojo-centric JJK recs that basically live rent-free in my head and also very much so helped me form my own characterization for Gojo. Most of these are GoYuu bc I'm a shameless fan.

I keep the warmest truth - dehawny: Gojo/Yuuji | just adore this ace!Gojo headcanon. lowkey so torn on Gojo's sexuality bc I absolutely can see him being asexual and maybe even a bit touch-averse with the whole Infinity thing, but I also can see him being a total slut lol. This is one of my favorites and the only ace!Gojo I've found I think? The tags are just perfect and very much so aligned with my own personal Gojo heacanon 😂 "Gojou is confident about everything and that includes his sexuality", "he's also good at everything except maybe communicating"

A Duty and Responsibility - googlehome: Gojo/Sukuna this fic definitely pushed my 'bottom Gojo agenda' idk I can see this man with any sexuality I swear. Another great characterization of Gojo, and also Sukuna. I adore very serious fics with a splash of humor in the narrative. I can't imagine Gojo as a person who takes himself entirely seriously, no matter how much responsibility he accepts, or how many burdens he carries for others, or what kind of nonsense gay crisis he ends up in, so I just love his voice in this.

Countdown - Rizna: Gojo/Yuuji a fandom classic as far as I'm concerned. This is such an excellent role reversal AU - if you're into S2 teenage brat Gojo, this delivers. I love all versions of Gojo, including mouthy teenage twink Gojo deeply obsessed with his adult sensei who's Trying His Best™ to be the adult in the relationship.

Enough (A Cinderalla Story) - athena_crikey: Gojo/Yuuji in an absolutely fucking hilarious twist of irony, I actually didn't read this story for a long time because it was a rockstar AU and when I first got into this fandom I was desperate for canon stuff. Meanwhile I then go on to bust out 400k+ words of my own rockstar!Gojo AU, so I guess I'm just a fucking clown.

Heart Laid Bare - athena_crikey: Gojo/Namami incredible introspection on how Gojo handles (or rather, doesn't handle) the burden of being invincible and the strongest told in Nanami's POV. I could wax poetic about this fic and the way Gojo comes across so multi-faceted as both a man who can do everything and also a man who can't even remember to adequately feed himself. I drew a lot of the inspiration for Gojo's cursed technique in my fic from this, how Infinity is both his blessing and his curse and the parallels to his overuse of RCT being a kind of toxic spiral.

Shared Infinity - athena_crikey: Gojo & Yuuji - read the tags on this one it deals with some heavy stuff (not with Gojo) I love the way this fic showcases Gojo as a mature adult deeply protective over his students while still maintaining his kind of flippant/uncaring outer persona we see in the show. Just completely love fics that really naile the dichotomy of Gojo being both caring and yet rather unkind.

Take Two - athena_crikey: Gojo/Yuuji - specifically love how this AU fic deals with the idea of Gojo's own fame being his shield between himself in the world around him where his Infinity technique doesn't exist. I love how Gojo is handled in this one, so jagged around the edges, and just his own worst enemy when it comes to his own feelings. Also love me a Gojo who can own up to his own mistakes, look at our baby go, showing emotional maturity and everything!!

Still, More Firsts - hngr4fngr: Gojo/Yuuji man do I adore this whole series. Great porn with ridiculously excellent plot/characterizations lol like I came here for the bottom!Gojo and left with way too many feelings about how Gojo deals with his trauma and how that would effect his sex life. Also has a super interesting take on how Infinity works!

little lamb to the slaughter - voxofthevoid: Gojo/Yuuji still obsessed with the astoundingly incredible smut, just absolutely shook by how god-tier this writing is, it is so hard to write good smut, just pacing, flow, word choice... this could be a masterclass on how to write really great smut that can actually pull a visceral reaction out of a reader. I think a great deal of that ability comes from a mastery of the tone of voice of the characters, too. Gojo is just incredible in this Yuuji POV, the way he describes Gojo is just utter perfection. On a related note, in general Yuuji's voice is so fucking funny in a way that doesn't detract at all from the mood of the story. In fact I think this would be too heavy without his hilarious occasional inputs.

there is no try (but it's still going to take a while) - juurensha: Gojo/Geto I love me a star wars AU jfc. I'm not even a fan of SatoSugu but this is just *chefs kiss* Jedi Master Gojo is such a mood.

anchor - valleykey: Gojo/Geto I love this one mainly for the Suguru characterization, which I truly never thought I'd say bc I'm just not normally a fan of his character/relationship with Gojo. He's just perfect in this fic though - it just makes so much more sense for his characterization, and idk, pulls it altogether in a way I think it falls flat in canon. That isn't to say Gojo's not great in this, he's just really not the main character at all. But it deals well with Gojo's loyalty to those he deems worthy of it (even if the recipient isn't considered 'proper' by jujutsu society) and just offers a good take on supportive (and smitten) Gojo

[yandere-sins]

Yandere!Pantalone HCs ♥

I really tried to hold back because I don’t like the feeling of assuming a character’s personality without there canonly being one. But this man is living in my head rent-free (that greedy bastard!!) and won’t leave my thoughts alone! Please send help ;;

Obligatory Lemon warning!

»»———————— ♡ ————————«« 

♡ The only time Pantalone puts his hair up and way out of his face is for punishment time. He wants to see every precious tear rolling down your face, every mark, scratch, and drop of blood he caused on your body, and not even his hair should hinder him. That’s why after he got you, he bought tons of hair ties to put into his drawers and leaving them lying around as a warning. The look he gives you—smirking knowingly with a violent gleam in his eyes—as he combs his fingers through his hair, pulling them up, makes you instantly fear for your life. In return, you’re the only (living) person that ever saw his face completely revealed. It’s his way of ensuring his appearance is burned into your very being, both in your dreams and nightmares, so you may never forget him as long as you live. No matter where you go and who you are with, even if it’s not Pantalone, he’ll be on your mind. He owns you no matter where he is.

♡ Pantalone has a strike system for you two in public (think Dom/Sub play) and strict rules for you to follow. There’s no talking, walking off, or looking other people in the eyes. If you want to look at something, you have to ask him nicely to walk over there with you, arm in arm, hoping he’s in a good mood. You are not to interrupt him ever except if he addresses you directly, so when there’s business, then tough luck. But if he catches you staring at a store longingly, there’s a chance he goes there to reward you later. Something for you, and then on the Black Market to get something for... him (also you). If your hand so much but lifts a finger off his arm, he’ll take you home immediately; there are no excuses. But otherwise, if you upset him, he’ll let you know, perching his glasses up higher on his nose, first from the right side (first strike), then the left (second strike), and once he is fed up, he’ll push them up in the middle and excuse you two, gripping your hand so tight as he pulls you ‘home’ (wherever that is at the moment) that you fear it might fall off from blood loss. 

♡ He loves, loves, loves feeling your weight on top of him. Ever since he claimed you as his, your buttocks have not met the soft cushions of a chair or couch. While doing business, he has you stand by his side, not allowing you to squirm or fumble, just stand and stare at the floor or hold papers he gives you. But as soon as things turn less professional, Pantalone pulls you on his lap, gripping your thighs tightly and forcing you to lean on him. The longer the evening, the darker the red wine, the firmer his grip on you, until he opens his legs, slipping you on top of just one thigh and whisper to you to lift your feet from the ground. So while his hands travel down your back as he listens to the drunken businessman around you, he forces you to grind on his thigh. To escape the boredom of these formalities, he likes bopping his leg and watching you hold back any sounds stuck in your throat as you hold on to him by gripping his expensive clothes. If you tear them, you’ll pay for it. That’s the deal. So he doesn’t mind you getting rough with his new favorite shirt. Pantalone also really likes watching you at night. You on top of him, moving and working your pretty little body off for him, like a good pet. Definitely his favorite position by far.

♡ As greedy as he is, you will never fear poverty by his side. Well, as long as you behave, that is. The world is more or less open for you if you stay in his favor and listen to his instructions. Your shoes are soft, your clothes don’t itch, food is flavorful and plenty. Pantalone brings home gifts, toys and jewels, new inventions, and... less savory things for you to try. He even rents out more rooms, so there is plenty of space to put your stuff in, alongside maids to clean up. But where he spends money on you, you sometimes wonder why he isn’t living in more luxury, not yet understanding that you are his greatest possession that he’s preserving with his wealth. And especially the things he gives you that you don’t appreciate as much (little to no coverage clothes, unique toys and inventions, silk blindfolds, and many, many more) are what he enjoys buying the most.

[fights4users]

The lack of choice

Betrayal lives rent free in my head, it’s such a good comic but also “Flynn decline speed run” as the more you look into the implications the worse he becomes. Don’t get me wrong, he’s lovable and understandable but my god did he mess up so many people and programs…including Tron.

So him transferring over Tron is already dubious at best as he likely didn’t tell anyone, especially Alan, he was doing it. I and others mentioned it before but it was always justified by Flynn as “borrowing” just till he can straighten things out… but we all know how that went. This is made worse by the fact that the comic implies Tron may not have had a choice in the matter.

In a “if it’s the will of the users/a user I guess I’m going” type of situation. Keep in mind trons from the old system where programs are much more allegorical than they are human like in Flynn’s system. So he’s much more “I do my functions/what I’m told and that’s what I am :)” than the more leisure kind. He may have wanted to help but how much of its genuine want and how much is obligation to a god/friend?

Flynn probably thinks this is a compliment. He trusts him so much and genuinely thinks he’s the best and can handle anything. Meanwhile Trons a single security program having the most stressful time in his existence. Sure it’s a small system now but it’ll grow. Tron, like clu, from the very beginning is nearly begging for Flynn’s help and going ignored.

Flynn can’t completely be blamed, as he did personally intend the grid for fun/experimentation but— he also ignores all these bugs and issues as “no big deal” playing into the problem Clu points out later of “this world is real to us. It’s our only world.”

Honestly how Tron didn’t self destruct from stress is beyond me. It hurts because he was used by his friends, Flynn and clu, who couldn’t see past “he’s the best security program out there” ignoring the actual individual.



[alexanderlightweight]

Happy Wednesday!

If it tickles your fancy, I would love, love, love, love, love a fic of any flavor in the Mob Wife Alexander Lightwood universe you just casually yeeted onto my dashboard because that's obviously going to live in my head rent free for the next many moons. <3

(What a world omg)

Laws i love this verse so it will always tickle my fancy to get prompts and saeth keeps sending me things that boost my interest. Well this is definitely a flavor in that verse and I hope you enjoy it because it took a turn I didn’t imagine it taking.

Seriously I never planned this character to be in the fic or ever write from their pov and then it was like ‘oh hey interesting let’s do it”.

So this is basically an interlude after Alec’s figured he could either be a bodyguard or a boytoy and only one of those gets to flirt and touch Magnus all night.

Simon pov (he’s an unreliable narrator, prone to rambling, anxiety and dramatic and humorous interludes and he lacks so much info)

Alec is just like: I would just like to get back to my husband. he doesn’t sleep as well when I’m gone, so please talk as little as possible and just listen first.

Simon: I’m so glad I can’t breathe. If I move he’ll kill me.

(also mob wife is an occupation not a gender role but Simon doesn’t get that… yet)

—

“Simon.”

And Simon shivers because Alec Lightwood doesn’t need to raise his voice to be terrifying.

And Simon is terrified.

Officially.

But also not overwhelmingly so.

Because he’s also finally seventy percent sure Alec won’t kill him, which is much better than the fifteen percent Simon thought it was until recently.

Though in a crisis, he’s also the one Simon wants to hide behind.

Even in the beginning, Simon’s chances were always better with Alec, even if they both complained about it.

“Okay, yeah right. I’m Simon.” He hears himself say and he reminds himself to take a breath even though he doesn’t need to.

A lack of heartbeat and oxygen only mean that even Simon’s own body won’t save him from panic anymore.

“Yes? I know you’re Simon.”

And Alec says it like it's an obvious conclusion but Simon is just really happy to hear him say it, especially without a threat.

Because Alec isn’t the kind of person who is casual with most people and Simon is almost nothing to him.

Sometimes Simon worries he’s just another body to Alec — one in the congo-line-of-lovers that Izzy has had — but then Izzy reminds him he’s the only boyfriend Alec’s bothered to remember the name of.

And Simon is also one half of Clary’s package deal and boy, that sure did him no favors when they first met.

He takes pride in it.

“Simon—“ Alec says and he’s sighing, deep and long and Simon wonders if his inattention and eagerness has once again doomed his — now second — attempt at living.

Well living while being dead but Simon might actually stay dead this time if he lets his thoughts keep going.

“The greenhouse?” Alec is asking him and Simon wonders why until he remembers how much he hates Alec’s office.

The greenhouse is the only other place Alec takes official meetings.

And something shivers down Simon’s spine.

Because Alec doesn’t even like him but he’s noticed Simon’s dislike.

This is an Alec that’s trying to be careful.

So just how much does Alec notice? Simon wonders and the little part of his brain that he’s learned can save his life tingles.

Where does it end?

“For the love of, Simon sit the fuck down and breathe every fifth count.”

Simon finds himself on the hard marble of the Institute’s unfamiliar greenhouse floor. His head between his knees and a too heavy hand roughly smacking his back in sets of five.

There is brightness on his face when he finally opens his eyes.

“This is sunlight!” He accuses angrily, because he finally trusted Alec a full seventy percent and now this.

Betrayal!

“Simon you’re a daylighter. You were blasted by the soul sword and survived. You’re fine.”

And Alec doesn’t sound sympathetic and Simon winces because well—

Okay yeah. That’s fair.

Plus Alec has seen Simon drunkenly dance naked in the sun and that is a memory neither of them talk about.

It actually calms Simon down, because if Alec refrained from killing him when he plastered his naked body to Alec’s and yelled ‘teach me how to fight future brother-in-law!” Alec had in fact, spared his life.

First by not killing him.

And secondly, for not telling Magnhs that Simon’s no-good-very-bad-brain decided it was perfectly reasonable to cop a feel of Alec’s ass with vampiric strength.

It’s not a bad ass.

A little flat but very muscular with thighs that could break a neck and Simon tries very hard not to work himself back into a panic.

He does not need Alec Lightwood bringing him down from a panic attack while he thinks about how he nakedly gropped Magnus’ Bane husband’s ass hard enough that Alec had sighed and in the medical bay he’d dragged Simon to, activated an iratze.

“Magnus is going to know that these marks aren’t his.” Alec had said casually, “and he’s not going to like it. I really didn’t like it. You certainly didn’t like it either, if you know what’s good for you. So therefore, this never happened.”

And Simon is never ever going to tell even Clary that he did like it.

He’d liked it very much and he’d suddenly understood Magnus’ instant obsession.

Which had turned into a new crisis.

Because Simon’s taste is apparently Lightwood’s.

Which is not helpful for his continued life expectancy.

Because it will either be Izzy for eyeing up her married brother, Magnus for eyeing up his husband, and Alec for Simon’s sheer audacity.

“Simon, do I need to get someone else?”

“No!” Simon manages to get out because Alec Lightwood-Bane can never find out that he snapped out of the panic attack three minutes ago and almost sent himself into another panic attack because of said man’s ass. “I’m good. I’m good.”

Alec doesn’t look impressed but Simon knows he must not look very impressive.

He doesn’t take it personally.

Alec isn’t impressed by anyone besides Magnus, unless he’s impressed by someone’s stupidity.

And that never turns out well.

“Okay, so what can I do you for? I mean for you. What can I do for you?”

Alec is eyeing him like Simon is Magnus’ awful snake Baby.

Which is rude.

Because Simon has seen Alec with that nasty little worm and Alec is much nicer to Baby than he is to anyone besides Magnus and Madzie.

“Okay so listen carefully. This is a lot of information I’m going to give tou. Magnus has several identities in the mundane world. Some of them are linked legally but most of them are involved and hold a great deal of power in mundane crime groups.”

“Magnus is a mob boss!” Simon gasps out in giddy delight and then Alec is ruining his joy like the grumpy dilf he is.

The grumpy dilf he is not.

Because Simon doesn’t even know what a dilf is and he’s never been so glad that Alec can’t read his mind.

“No Simon. He’s not actually running a mob or gang or whatever else you’re thinking. He’s simply a powerful individual and is known for his information and skills and he has a lot of money. Nobody wants to be on his bad side. Everyone wants to be on his good side. So he has the authority of someone high-up and even the mundanes behave in Brooklyn. I personally don’t really care how Magnus got his status or how he maintains it.”

And Simon has so many questions but Alec has his—

if-you-interrupt-me-I’m-shoving-my-hand-through-your-chest-and-exiting-with-your-heart

— look on his face.

And Simon has seen that security footage. So he stays silent.

“It’s a persona that most High Warlocks do. Create identities in the mundane underbelly of their territories. Make sure the mundanes fear and respect them enough that they can come and go freely. They need to be trusted to keep an eye on any slip-ups. And no, they’re not undercover. They’re not doing the mundanes work for them.

“But Magnus and I quite honestly don’t care. We protect mundanes from the shadowworld, not from themselves. If the mundanes want to kill themselves and each other, that’s their problem. So long as they only do it in mundane ways and not with ties to the shadowworld. We don’t need the clave coming down here, bristling about the accords anytime soon, or anytime at all.”

And Simon swallows because he understands how serious this is, intimately.

Aldertree was sent by the clave.

He remembers Aldertree.

Izzy remembers Aldertree.

A lot of people remember Aldertree.

So he keeps focused, listening to the hummingbird-wing-beat of Alec’s pulse under his words.

“Magnus has done this for centuries. He knows what he’s doing. But we’d both prefer if I could go with him in the future.”

And Simon is practically vibrating because he’s nearly positive that he’s about to get a padawan.

Which, even in such a serious situation, is amazing!

“Which means I need to know more about modern mundane culture than I do.” Alec is grimacing and Simon knows it’s a testament to just how much Alec loves Magnus that he’s doing this.

“Magnus gets by because he has centuries of knowledge but I’ll need a crash course. And no Simon, I cannot read your mind.” Alec Lightwood’s eye roll continues to be a thing of beauty and Simon feels his undead soul un-die a little more. Because Alec definitely can’t read minds.

Or Simon wouldn’t continue existing.

“Look, Magnus and I went over a list of all the questions you might possibly ask. He gave me the answers so I didn’t have to waste time. We both agreed you’d be the best to ask, since you spend the most time around young adult mundanes. And you’re popular with your peers.”

Simon feels like he’s dreaming or maybe died again.

Except this is a much nicer if not possibly a more traumatizing experience than his first death so Simon concludes it has to be real.

His luck is always this bad.

“Magnus thought and I agreed that it would be just you and I, you tend to—“ and Alec trails off and Simon has a moment where he wishes he’d never drank Jace’s blood.

Because Alec is trying to be considerate.

Because he’s trying not to say that Simon can’t handle being in the same room with both of them after the incident.

It’s mortifying.

“Right, so do I need to call Magnus so he can join us?” And Alec looks very serious, eyes dark and calm and without a flicker of anger or of true concern. Alec is a good leader not because he cares but because he makes himself act regardless of care.

It took a while for Simon to realize that sometimes the people who care the most are the ones who let you down the worst.

And Simon winces, because Alec does look incredibly tired compared to when Simon saw him… however long ago.

“No sorry. I’m good, just a surprise. But like a good surprise, it’s like I’m Q and—“ and Simon trails off with a sigh because there’s no point and he is shocked when Alec runs his big hands over his scruffy perfect Lightwood face.

Or maybe it’s his Trueblood genes.

Whatever.

“Yes, okay fine. Simon you can be Q. But if you call me 007 or whistle that obnoxious tune I will give you cause to regret it.”

“You know 007?” Simon actually gasps, because this might truly be some epic dream and he doesn’t even register the threat.

Well, his hindbrain does and it’s screaming, but Simon can’t listen to it over the shockhold Alec’s words have put him in.

“Simon, consider who my husband is. Just for a minute.”

And Simon does consider it.

He considers how a delighted and charmed Magnus would coax Alec into ‘research’ for his ‘undercover excursion into the mundane world’.

“Oh my god.” Simon barely breathes out, “Magnus made you marathon them.”

And Alec is gritting his teeth. Simon can hear the grind of his incisors and he swallows, hard.

“Right. Absolutely no mentions of triple digits or shockingly appropriate theme songs.”

And Simon’s death flashes—

hunger the dirt the gnawing-bite-thirst-trap-feed of hunger and Clary’s screams

— before his eyes when Alec gives an exasperated sigh.

The moment passes and Alec is giving him a begrudging yet judgmental look.

“It’s often that the criminal part of mundane life is where the shadow world slips over. Magical drugs slip into mundane ones, easy money, anything goes. And no one cares about that except sometimes it leaves evidence. Unexplainable evidence that mundanes want explained. Right now Magnus is chasing a new rumor; and we’d like for me to be able to go with him.”

This is quite possibly the single coolest thing Simon has ever been involved in.

“So are you going in as his bodyguard? A new dealer of some super magic drug? Oh. My. God. Alec, are you going to be a rival boss or something coming in? Or a hitman? Are you going in as Magnus’ cleaner?”

And Alec is staring at Simon like he’s actually truly lost it.

Which Simon doesn’t get. They’re all obviously the best and most understandable choices.

“Simon, Magnus is my husband. Obviously I’m his mob wife.”

And Simon can’t breathe, but he feels the oxygen knocked out of his lungs.

Because Alexander Gideon Lightwood-Bane — a man who has prevailed heavily in both Simon’s nightmares and his recent and most horrifying wet dreams — wants to learn how to be a proper mob wife.

“Oy vey.” Simon manages to get out and then he looks up at Alec and blinks at his too-tall, too-powerful body.

And wonders how he’s supposed to guru Alec into anything that can pass as what middle-aged criminals will consider a wife.

Mob or otherwise.

Later they’re finally finishing up their first crash course and Alec looks worse than he did with his own arrow through his chest.

But he escorts Simon out, ordering his shadowhunters absently to various duties and checking in as he passes and Simon takes it in with a sudden wonderment.

Simon’s seen more changes of leadership in his short time as a part of the shadowworld than is normally seen in a generation.

And he got a much more up-close and unwanted personal view of how badly it can go.

And Alec is… he’s surprisingly really great. Even if Simon only has shitty examples to compare him to and so when Simon is walking out into the sun and Alec is going through a portal that appears out of nowhere, he lets his guard down and mutters.

“He’s so totally M.”

And just before the portal warps out of existence, Simon’s hearing picks up a quiet, irritated—

“Simon.”

And he winces.

Alec’s senses are frightening and Simon is a vampire.

[avelera]

One time my writing workshop that I recommend to everyone (they have online courses and a free podcast!) had sci-fi author David Brin as a guest lecturer and he gave some advice to new writers that has been living in my head rent-free ever since.

He said, first time writers should consider having their first novel be a murder mystery.

The reason being as follows:

Mysteries require a great deal of structure to work properly.

They also teach one a great deal about how to build a plot, especially around characters who want something (like: to solve the mystery or to not get caught)

How to have conflict and tension that grows out of each scene,

How we're introduced to characters, and finally,

How everything must build to a satisfying conclusion in which attentive readers are just a little bit ahead and casual readers discover the solution and see all the clues laid out in a satisfying manner in retrospect.

And it's a great genre for bringing in a friend to see whether or not you achieved the goal of laying out the clues properly, because it is in fact impossible to do on your own (this is true of most things in writing, but it's a bit more subtle when trying to tell if other stuff like romance has landed properly).

Putting a cut here to go over some popular examples and how writers can learn from them to improve their stories.

And the more I thought about this advice, the more I realized just how many of the most popular genre works of recent years had a mystery (whether or not it's a murder they're solving) as the way to drag the audience into the story, at least at the beginning, even if the plot then evolves into something else midway, because mystery is also an excellent way to dump exposition because it's all about finding out the truth.

The Winter Soldier film, in addition to being a Bourne-style action thriller set in the Marvel universe, has a strong plot through-line of "Who "killed" Nick Fury? Who is the Winter Soldier?" which gets us through a good chunk of the film that would otherwise be a slog of exposition and it works so well.

The first three Harry Potter books are actually very well structured mysteries. I've argued for ages that Book 4 onward is where Rowling lost the mystery plot structure to the series' detriment, the plots ballooned, and the whole thing got quite sloppy (this in addition to her reprehensible views, to be clear, I've been a critic of her structure in stories for quite some time short version: she's very bad at it when not grafting onto a school year).

The first Game of Thrones book and S1 revolved around Ned Stark as our primary protagonist seeking out the answer to the mystery of Who Killed The Hand of the King and Why - revealing the deeper mystery of Joffrey's lineage and setting up the events that eventually led to his execution. AND, by the way, that's PART of why Ned's execution was so shocking and effective: GRRM borrowed from the murder mystery genre to build a portion of his plot around, and then disrupted it by killing the investigator which as the POV character generally speaking very rarely happens in mysteries, which made it an even bigger and more effective shock for readers when Ned, who seemed to have plot armor on many levels, dies thus reinforcing the theme of "You win or you die" and the brutal chaos of the GoT world.

What I think makes all 3 of these very popular examples so effective is the blend of genre. Murder mysteries are tantalizing but they do sometimes fail to answer the "So what?" of one person dying in a small town. But combine the murder mystery structure, which demands so much of its writer and is so effective at dragging the reader along through the hardest part of introducing them to your world, with a genre that is better at answering the "So what?" like epic fantasy or action thriller, and now you've got a very effective combination for entertaining an audience.

[ask-retale]

Remix au still living rent free in my head... Especially Reaper

I'm taking A LOT of liberties, especially with Dream and Nightmare. I know they are the guardians of positive and negative emotions, and that could be construed to mean "positive = happy" or " negative = sad" but that's kinda vague. So, I'm looking at negative emotions to be emotional extreme that results in harm while positive emotions are appropriate feelings at a level that is appropriate for the situation and does not ultimately result in harm to the person.

Anyway.... possible background lore

Nightmare decided to make a deal with Ink. He needed the excess of emotions to survive, but he himself could not create situations where those emotions would be formed. However, Ink was able to directly interfere and inspire. The artist could influence how the worlds unfolds. The ability to absorb excess emotions of the worlds inhabitants for the ability to directly inspire or interfere seemed like a fair trade. Ink would no longer be reliant upon the creators whims or fear his paint would run dry. Nightmare already knew what can cause emotions to run out of control, and now he can ensure those conflicts would occur. The deal was struck and the corruption and ink fused before being distributed between the two beings.

The deal between Dream and Error was unexpected. Error's inception was what broke his sanity. He was suppose to be a destroyer of worlds, releasing the magic of the aus that had stagnated or concluded so it could be reused. But his hatred blinded him to the true nature of the destruction, so he destroyed anything he deemed a glitch or anomaly on a whim. Dream and Error's paths only crossed because Dream sustained himself on emotional equilibrium and Error often disrupt this balance. At some point Dream realized that Error could manipulate codes and was in direct contact with creators... Perhaps he did not have to maintain emotional equilibrium alone and an idea formed. Dream proposed a deal, a piece of his soul could help stabilize Error's madness and sooth his wild emotions for the ability to manipulate codes...

When Error finally agreed to the exchange, everything seemed to be getting better. Error used his connection to the creators and ability to read code helped bring stability to more worlds, faster than Dream could ever accomplish. However, all things must return to an equilibrium. Dream began to experience an unexplainable push. An urge... A rabid compulsion to end aus. After all, ending a world, a story, prevented the possibility of harm or change. TLDR - Error, Ink, Nightmare and Dream more or less swap roles in pursuit of their original goals.... But in a fun twist. I'd probably say Nightmare is the god of conflict. Conflict pushes the stories to continue since it is what drives a story and the characters emotion. Ink is the guardian of emotions, harnessing the extreme emotions to create his ink, which offers reprieve to those suffering from the extremes of their emotions. Dream is the god of endings, since he's manipulating code to create resolutions and "happy" endings. Those resolutions result in a conclusions and then he is compelled to completely destroy the au. Error becomes the guardian of stories, probably after coming to terms with the actions he took while suffering from his madness. He helps the creators cope and explore their emotions talking to them about all the different possible things they can explore. Though I bet he's probably still a man child while offering his thoughts.

I also don't know what error looks like yet.

[cuubism]

The anon who sent that Dream Used to Have Wings ask, I just read what you wrote

HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT WAS BETTER THAN ANYTHING I COULD ASK FOR MY GODDD

ahem. Thank you so much, I can't explain how much I enjoyed reading it. Also yes!!! I infected you with my brainrot!!!!

(what if Death started hiding her wings because of that incident. Deep down she's terrified that what happened to Dream could somehow happen to her as well)

(That part about the collective subconscious becoming more fractured corresponds really well to that Greek myth where Zeus tore the soul mates apart because they were too powerful. The humanity understood on a subconscious(heh) level that something was missing, something was wrong, but they didn't know what exactly)

(Destiny being more concrened with balance than his little brother, and Dream being more concerned that he hurt his dreamers than his own pain, wow that one hurt)

(This also explains why Dream never asked for help while in Burges' fishbowl. No one came when it really mattered)

you infected me with it, you really truly did XD it lives in my head now rent free

i'm so glad you enjoyed my take on it!!

oh it would definitely unnerve death yeah, especially since she interacts with more people than dream. dream's whole realm had to be invaded for this to happen, meanwhile death is out in the world every day. i wonder also if it's the first time (since they're all still young comparatively speaking) that one of the endless were permanently injured or changed like that. this is quite long ago so it's before the OG despair was murdered, before destruction and delirium and such. it's a lot for them to deal with. i think perhaps death went and gave destiny a verbal dressing down after - since destiny obviously knew it would happen in advance - and destiny was unrepentant since it's not his job to change things. so both dream and death had to grapple with the nature of their eldest brother as a neutral force rather than a brother in the sense you would usually think of family. the endless in their early years having to learn about themselves and each other and the nature of their powers is so interesting to me.

yes the soul mates thing!! humanity - and other conscious beings - definitely still sense that something is missing that wasn't there, even years later. the first time someone told a story about telepathy, dream had to lock himself in his room for four years while he lost it.

yeah his history in getting help from siblings is.... oof. dream didn't even really ask for help from destiny, he didn't ask destiny to change things, all he really wanted was a bit of comfort and he couldn't even get that 😞 poor dream

[shameless-sol-apologist]

fuck it posting it on tumblr as well

this is v rushed, unpolished and sucks in general but this disastergirl has been living in my head rent free for over a month and i need to get this out of my system before i lose mygoddamn mind so. incoherent rambling below the cut, beware.

spoiler alert: we pretty much only got a handful of breadcrumbs in terms of her personality and frankly some of those crumbs are covered in mold, so a solid 90% of this is pulled straight outta my ass. shes basically an oc at this point

(although, is that really a spoiler in THIS fandom?)

okay so. first off when it comes to characterization i tend to start with how a characters background shaped them into who they are

...which is where we run into problem number one: her backstory outside of "sols daughter" and "chaos magic" is really vague. we dont know what she was doing between aquas sacrifice and unsealing sol, how she even found out sol was alive let alone that hes stuck in that coffin thing or how exactly aqua sacrificed herself

(but hey, thats what headcanons are for, right?)

so in this rewrite pandora survived because aqua teleported her away to another one of their creators worlds shortly before dying (yes she can do that apparently. look i know it sounds farfetched, just roll with it) and she ended up in an orphanage, where her needs were barely met. hence she learned to only rely on herself

(also in this rewrite she doesnt actually find out sol is alive or his whole deal until waaay down the line since it fits better with her direction as a character. (she has to go An Arc abt it ala su) so yea im retconning away the one thing she does in canon lmao)

having to deal with her whole world being destroyed before she even finshed primary school (also as far as she knows her dad just went out for milk one day and never came back + in an orphanage both peers and caretakers come and go whenever), to her nothing was permanent, not her peers, not the caretakers, not even this world really. since anything and anyone can be taken away at a moments notice, whats the point in forming attachments or pursuing any higher goal? and so she keeps everyone at arms length, pushes away anyone that tries to get close to her so she doesnt have to feel that crushing pain when they leave her

...and yet shes deeply, deeply lonely. she craves connection, yet pushes away anyone that tries to get close to her out of fear that theyll abandon her. which is where kitsy comes in...

...if ppl are actually interested in reading more about my cringe fail daughter that is lol

[sporksaber]

I'm gonna talk about that hp au because it lives in the back of my head like a stray cat that's wandered in and you cant get to leave.

So dumbledore dumbledied. Why? Because he's annoying and I dont want to deal with him. How? Idk, a curse with a ten year delay of smthn. Mcgonagall is head mistress now. (also, shes fifty-ish. We're ignoring the fact that jkr aged her up after the movies were cast and that she is bad at math in every adaptation and interview since.) She became headmistress the year prior to harry getting to school.

Mcgonagall isnt about to let any of the bullshit dumbledore allowed slide. So the teachers are going to be a bit different and when students have problems theyll be dealt with properly.

So, the crux of this au, harry is sorted into slytherin. He didn't sit with ron on the train, and didnt think to ask to not be slytherin. The hat asks what harry wants out of howgwarts and while harry can't verbally answer the hat is like, got it. Puts him into Slytherin. (Above all his wants, there was a stronger yearning for the ability to make his own way. To not just have but to create safety and family and win against the people pushing him down.)

His first year is fairly eventful. Quirrel is there and so is Snape. This time though, there is no Voldemort and the philosopher's stone isnt in Hogwarts. Quirrel is just a regular piece of shit wizard nazi.

Harry has a very visceral reaction to the things the slytherin students will say, so he doesnt get along with them. Snape is also an asshole, so he doesnt get along with him either. Draco is very much pulling pigtails the entire year because he wasnt properly socialized as a child and harry has pretty eyes.

Durring that year Harry gets in trouble a lot. He'll talk back to snape for being unfair and discriminatory, he calls out quirrel for being straight up wizard racist (as quirrel isnt possessed he is more assertive), he argues with his housemates be it draco or the occasional upperclassman who is causing trouble.

He's also not good at school. Harry's hatred of studying in the original was never explained (i think jkr didnt want to do the extra world building). But in this he is just very much behind his year level. He's never had help before, nor a safe environment to learn in.

This leads to him finally getting to talk to mcgonagall (I love her so so much). She sits him down like, you're not in any trouble, have a cookie, I just want to talk about how you're doing. Harry has not a clue what to do. She talks to him about each class, asks if he made any friends, asks about slytherin.

Eventually it gets to the point that he kind of breaks down. Hes like, "I just dont understand. Everything's so amazing, I love being here, but some people are just so meanm"

She asks what he means and coaxs him to tell her all about snape and quirrel and the other students.

Mcgonagall takes a moment. And then she apologizes. Shes heen headmistress for just about a full year at this point and it seems she had some oversights.

She puts quirrel and snape on what is effectively probation. Quirrel is told that he will not be asked back the next year and any slip up will lead to immidient termination and being reported to the ministry.

Snape has been a teacher for ten years at this point and looking back mcgonagall knows that he has always shown signs of this problem. He is told to fix it or she'll let him go.

She also asks one hermione Granger if she'd be willing to tutor some peers. Harry begins to catch up on his classes.

The year comes to an end uneventfully. He has one more big spat with malfoy that leaves them having detention with mcgonagall. They clean and sort plaques in her office as she does some paperwork. She answers questions and gives anecdotes about what they find. She matches each of dracos snarky complaints.

Harry goes back to the Dursley's that summer. (One last oversight from mcgonagall.)

Year two: where the actual part that lives rent free in my head is.

Harry meets the one and only Luna Lovegood on the train. Luna is wierd and nothing she says makes sense, but harry is used to that by now so he thinks little of it. He rather likes her, shes fun to talk to. He hesitates to tell her he's a slytherin but she doesn't care at all about it.

[greypetrel]

Hello! 🌙✨ Chiedo anch'io un po' un mix: Eowyn e Cassandra 👀

OMG you asked the two crushes!

Thank you *evil laugh*

Eowyn:

First impression: I was blown out as a child. Beside the look and the sleeves... Oh my god I remember the day I saw her, I wanted to be her so bad and dress like her and the JOY when she and Faramir, the other besties kissed! They were my first OTP and I remember I was so happy and started drawing stuff.

Impression now: Freaking epic. I reconsidered a little her crush over Aragorn as No lady YOU'RE A BABY LEAVE THE DILF ALONE. Still, she's one of the characters I like the most ever and the one I'll slam upon everyone uncautious enough to tell me to my face that Tolkien didn't know how to write women or was a maschilist. He was a man of his time, sure. Maschilist? No I don't think so. She's a complex character struggling with her place in the world and in a world that tries to define her. She is good and honourable... But still will carve her path with her bare hands if she must. And she did, and in the end did a lot, she fought to find the place she wanted and it paid off. Had Tolkien really been a maschilist, she wouldn't have slain the Witch King. In the end she chooses to settle down, yes, but on her own terms. At least, I read it like this. It's not staying because she's a woman and that's her place, it's staying because she tasted heroism, she did her part, the war is over and it still wasn't enough. But maybe finding people that understand her and don't try to tie her up... Maybe that's enough. "Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose".

Favorite moment: "I am no man." Hands down the most epic moment in the saga can't beat that. Slay, girl.

Idea for a story: Seriously, ANYTHING with her. More of her relationship with Eomer and Theodred maybe? More Edoras pre-war and how Wormtongue crept his way in? I love Rohan as a concept so really anything with that I'll be down for.

Unpopular opinion: Is there an unpopular opinion of. I don't think there is, we're all Eowyn stans here are we. I'll maybe say that Eomer had an equal crush over Aragorn and BOTH of them were pining hard. ("Aragorn senpai look at me ridigin into battle! :D" cit. book!Eomer)(quoted as unpopular because I never saw it around that much)

Favorite relationship: *looks above* She and Faramir dealing with coping with failed expectations (their own or others') and finding softness together. Also every interactions she has with Theoden is gold, and her relationship with Merry is as well! Besties.

Favorite headcanon: This fic I read from @scyllas-revenge lives in my head rent free and it's just... The ultimate fluff.

Cassandra:

First impression: "Oh damn this dude got himself into serious troubles, I wouldn't go against that woman. Pretty tho.". I tried to romance her at first in Inquisition and was very sad when she turned Aisling down. (you can all mock her and her Templar kink, yes.)

Impression now: I love Cassandra and her flaws and contradictions. I love that she's basically made of granite, you won't move her with cannons... and yet, she's there, ready to think twice and change her mind accordingly. She's multi-faceted and honestly one of the funniest characters in Inquisition. I love strong women that have a soft side and she has definitely one.

Favorite moment: The cutscene in Trespasser. Years pass and yet she'll still be gullible to a good romance story told by her very favourite author.

Idea for a story: A modern AU where she is the one and only author writing in the Swords & Shields fandom. Varric reads every single one of her stories, at first it was to mock her and her inability to recognise a trash book, then he felt affectionate to this utter devotion. A Misery AU with her an Varric. (...thinking about it better, DA2 is really a Misery fantasy AU...) Beside that, something exploring the aftermath of her nasty comments over Elven religion if you bring her along in one specific mission. An elf inquisitor facing her on that and discussing it. I wrote part of this months ago oops.

Unpopular opinion: She'd make the worst Divine of the three and would suffer greatly in the role.

Favorite relationship: She and Varric. In any sauce and way and in tutti i luoghi e tutti i laghi.

Favorite headcanon: She's Varric and Hawke number 1 fangirl, she read the Tale of the Champion and begged to be sent to interrogate them. When she meets Hawke, she's internally screaming and won't wash the hand Hawke shook for the whole day.

[scrollsfromarebornrealm]

brainworms

fuck it, I shall be unhinged

SPOILERS BENEATH THE READMORE

but first

EVERYTHING CERTAINLY WAS NOT FINE AT ALL

Okay so ever since last August this bit of dialogue has been living rent free in the back of my head

That 'infect' line is pretty interesting considering we get a somewhat similar line in patch 6.4, when Jullus speaks to Zero on the nature of trust among mortals. Thancred also had a similar line, telling Zero to stick around the Warrior of Light and she'd learn the meaning of trust.

It also speaks (at least in my opinion) the sheer level of damage Athena's betrayal and his self-sundering inflicted on Lahabrea. This man got wrecked. He was in love, possibly high on fatherhood, is on the Convocation, enjoys a great deal of respect from his peers--and he is hurt so badly that he limits himself to feeling any and all emotions at a reserve. He prizes logic and cold hard facts. Talk about a fucking crash to the bottom!

And even with his self sundering, he still feels deeply! Call him out over his shutting out of Erichthonios and the man just stares at you like you fucking slapped him straight into the abyss. And when he rejoins himself--he's still that cold, hard, logical asshole of a man--still repressing his feelings.

Anyway. Brainworms. I'm playing with the idea (still gotta let patch things settle, get some proper sleep and the like), but fiddling with the idea that Lahabrea--or rather, Hephaistos was at odds with Junia, because like him, Junia was wildly passionate and worked more according to her feelings rather than accept and follow logical outcomes. Though when they did get along on matters it was actually frightening for all involved.

I'm disappointed that we didn't get any time with *our* Lahabrea--this version of him is post Panda and self-rejoined and *right* before the Final Days, but as I've got the feeling that Pandaemonium is a good-bye to the Ancients on a whole in terms of story (could be wrong but as of rn there seems to be no need for the WoL to go back to Elpis), this version of him is probably the best good-bye we'll be able to get. And honestly it might be better this way. Lahabrea was so unhinged at the end of it all that just sleeping in the Lifestream is probably the best medicine, if he hasn't moved onto being reborn yet.

Regarding anything with Riven--I'm now on the fence regarding the idea of Junia finding out about her future...soul-child, so to speak. I have two trains of thought--one where she did find out about Riven and the Final Days, and her assistance in securing Pandaemonium. Junia decides to protect Riven as best as she could by giving out that Riven was a familiar she created, giving her freedom to wander the world. She then gives Themis a cryptic clue regarding Pandaemonium and Riven's arrival, and finally, to make sure that she doesn't foul anything up, uses Kairos to wipe her memories and implant false ones.

The other line of thought was Venat. It's in line with Elidibus's explanation in Panda 2.0. Venat tells Junia that she encountered a strange being in her travels--one that reminded her greatly of her student. Junia is suspicious initially, even more so when she starts to get details of Riven's time in Elpis. Venat then 'admits' to her successor that she suspected the strange being was possibly a concept that had escaped and evolved on its own--and had decided to model itself after Junia and her actions. Junia accepts this--much to her brother Lucis' displeasure.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Either way, following Pandaemonium's stabilization, Lahabrea--who has been unable to cast out the memory of a gremlin that looked and sounded too much like a certain illogical and annoying co-worker--

(not to mention her combat skill eclipsed the most powerful of the Convocation)

Confronts Junia over Riven. Junia being Junia, effectively blocks and prevaricates on the matter. Surprisingly Lahabrea lets it drop. Yes he'd like to get his hands on the little gremlin for Science™️ but really, he did warn her away from Pandaemonium so alas.

Later on before the Final Days, he is privy to a comment Junia makes-- voicing her wish for a strong and caring daughter who could 'help the world'. This makes him stop and pause--was the little fiend Azem's daughter?

And then all the Very Bad Shit happens, Lahabrea loses his fucking mind, doesn't meet Riven again until the events of ARR and HW. By that time he's so far gone he doesn't remember the events of Pandaemonium and possibly doesn't until his soul hits the Lifestream.

"SHE WAS THE FUCKING 'FAMILIAR'?!"

Riven: *sneeze*

[destinysbounty]

"There’s a lot more to it than that, but I won’t bore you with the details" no. Spill. Tell us everything about City of Gears

!!!!! I would love to!!! I freakin love this wip and I could go on about it for years probably.

(For anyone who's curious, here is the "City of Gears" concept in question)

Now, this story has changed a LOT in the past few months. First and foremost, it's kind of evolved into less of a fanseason and more of just a really involved fanfiction. Reframing it in my head as a fic/wip instead of an all-out fanseason has really helped take some of the pressure off and let me just enjoy the process of making it.

And thanks to that change, I've actually made heaps of progress in just this past week alone!! I have most of the main story beats and character arcs figured out, aside from a few patches here and there as well as some of the specifics. My goal is to start writing it sometime in the next few weeks. Which will be SO cool, because this concept has lived in my head rent-free for a bajillion years now.

That being said, the basic premise is fundamentally the same: the ninja stumble upon a series of disappearances in a quaint steampunk-themed tourist town, where the callous and manipulative Lady Adelaide has been turning people into mannequins. For now I'm calling them Clockwork Servants, due to the wind-up mechanism on their backs, but I'm not totally married to either of those concepts yet so that may change. Zane gets turned human, which is the main focal point of the fic, but he's also not the only one Going Through It: Cole is a ghost again, Lloyd is trapped in Oni form, and since this takes place sometime post-Seabound Nya is having a hard time dealing with, uh, that whole mess. She's human again, but that doesn't mean her trauma is gone or anything (whether this fic will be Crystalized-compliant remains undecided). And also Skybound comes back to bite Nya and Jay in the ass, so that's fun. Also also Morro returns, this time as a kind-of ally, which definitely won't cause issues for Lloyd at all whatsoever.

I've also made a lot of developments for Lady Adelaide and her motivations. She believes the human form to be a 'gift', to be the highest form of existence, and that you cannot be truly real if you aren't human - but that the humans of Ninjago have taken their 'gift' for granted and have no appreciation or regard for their humanity. She wants to 'elevate' the likes of nindroids and serpentines to a 'superior' state of being by making them human. The original humans of this world, however, she feels do not appreciate their 'gift' and therefore no longer deserve their humanity. So she wants to turn them into mannequins instead.

As such, Adelaide's goal is to create a new world order: the only people with humanity will be those she believes deserve it, thereby replacing the original humans and punishing them for their complacency/carelessness by turning them into mindless mannequin servants.

So yeah, there's a reason she turns Zane into a human. She is trying to convince him that his friends don't truly love him as a person, and never will until he becomes a person - until he becomes human. She really twists into his head, blaming all the bad stuff that happened to him on him being a nindroid - if you were human, Vex wouldn't have been able to ruin you. If you were human, you wouldn't have been dismantled and shut down time after time. If you were human, your father wouldn't have been able to turn off your memories. If you were human, you would have been able to die and stay dead. If you were human, your friends would love you enough to protect you instead of just watching from the sidelines as you sacrifice yourself time and time again. That whole slimy shtick. (Listen, Adelaide gave him the gift of humanity and she's gonna make him appreciate it whether he wants to or not.)

Oooh, and I know this is veering into spoiler territory but I just HAVE to share this one quote from Lady Adelaide, just to give you a taste for her character:

"How many times will your friends have to fix you before enough is enough? How many times will you die before they give up on you altogether?"

Because at the end of the day, that's the core of the fic. Zane is human, and there's all sorts of funky hijinks where he figures out how to be human and whatnot and tries to figure himself out, and it's all silly and goofy and what have you - but at the end of the day, a human cannot turn off their emotion meter or flip off their memory switch or encrypt all their trauma into a digital puzzle box. All his old coping mechanisms are incompatible with his new organic body, which means that every single trauma he's ever repressed is swinging at him with a baseball bat to the face. He is NOT having a good time right now.

Lady Adelaide may be a total asshole, but you gotta give credit where it's due - she somehow accidentally forced these idiots into the world's worst therapy session. I mean sure, therapy doesn't usually involve fighting hordes of wooden mannequins, but whatever works, right?

On the note of the mannequins, that's actually something I kinda wanna touch on. These mannequins all used to be people, before Lady Adelaide cursed them. Some of them even used to be the ninjas' friends and allies. But since the mannequins all look identical, it's impossible to tell them apart. Cole's dad becomes a mannequin, and he ends up having a bit of a Spirited Away Chihiro-in-the-pig-pen moment when trying to figure out which of the mannequins is his father. This, of course, means they can't in good conscience hurt the mannequins like they would with other horde enemies, only subdue them or run away. As you can imagine this makes all their fights way more complicated.

Also, human!Zane has a golden kintsugi-like scar on his face that may or may not be representative of the faceplate that fell off when he fought the Overlord. This detail isn't super relevant to the current discussion but it is very important to me personally.

Anyway, that's the broad strokes of what I'm willing to reveal for now! The rest involve spicy spoilers that I don't wanna give away just yet lol

Thank you so so so much for giving me an excuse to rant about this!!! <3