#also it looks kinda translucent instead of white whats up with that. wow this is getting REALLY hard to tear now huh

[theygender]

Drank a vitamin water today that made my tongue tingle almost as if it was carbonated for no discernable reason (I drink this flavor all the time so I know that's not normal. checked the expiration date and checked for holes in the bottle but everything looked fine?) and then for dinner I accidentally ate undercooked tilapia. Am I going to die

[semi-imaginary-place]

ffxiv on to shadowbringers full spoilers

i joined ffxiv right around 5.2-5.3 so i actually got super spoiled on shb

really they're putting the gate at the lake and not in the special crystal tower zone where the raids were.

... are those unique animations? that wasn't the default run. wow you can really see how the funding has improved since arr.

oof that bloom effect my eyes are suffering for making a pale ass character dressed in white. the one time in videogaming history where the bloom is narratively appropriate.

so ardbert in shadow. uh i don't recognize the narrator voice. oh hey minfilia haven't seen you in forever. so why did player character get whole body teleported when all the other scions left their bodies behind. (or is the pc secretly collapsed on the source)

now i could go for the map marker.... ooooor i could run around the entire map. boooo the devs thought ahead and blocked me off.

they killed off the brenon clone immediately D:

i can't tell if it's lore significant or not but the crystal exarch's arm doesn't have the lighting effects crystal usually has. like most of the crystal in ffxiv is kinda glowy and a little translucent but the arm is matte like paint. maybe it's a graphics limitation thing idk.

is it me or does the crystal tower look different. i don't remember those basalt looking formations. there's fluffy amaljaa! was initially confused because underground is the WORST place for an herbarium but if the problem is too much light i guess it makes sense. having giant grates in the library seems like a bad idea. hmm the naming scheme seems sharlayan. why is the marketplace called universal music? its a good thing i know most of these terms from other ff games and shab spoilers otherwise if you threw like 7 new race names at me i'd cry. once again the lack of guard rails is concerning. why are the hortorium and sweetsieve no next to each other. a lot of wroght iron and glass.. art noveau? is this entire city built over silvertear lake?

great now the writers have a precedent for timetravel

exarch described feo ul as "kanojo"

ghostbert angst. i joke but i do find this sort of stuff compelling. oh that clears it up, so his title changed. because i just heard that the warriors of light killed the shadowkeeper and caused the Flood but arbert was also going around calling himself the warrior of darkness, and i didn't connect it until now but it was all them. hey this is that melody that plays whenever the pc does something heroic, played prominently in the ultima and around the end of 2.0 but here its real slow and sad.

did the faeries take over ishgard???? especially curious is the faeries are the equivalent to the sylphs. and rak'tika is the shroud equivalent. limsa was gentrified lol. what im curious about is the habitable part of novrant is shown as both an oval and a circle and i don't know which map is right.

exploring lakeland and uh is that a giant lake monster? yeh that's a giatn lake monster. why's there a road at the bottom of the lake. you guys have extremely nice outdoor furniture. like damn going to spend the budget on nice furniture instead of having a roof.

Crystarium architecturally reminds me of my highschool pet worldbuilding project about a magic crystal floating city filled with telepathic shapeshifting immortals.

shb could have been its own game. Post apocalyptic fantasy about civilization on the brink feels like a pretty standard premises minus the light and dark swap. Writers went wild with the worldbuilding. So glad i watched ffxii and xenoblade so i know what a hume is

Theres also how the crystarium is built over silvertear lake the center of all magic. Although middy isnt on the first, then why are there dragons dragonish things around. I wonder how much shared history there is between the source and the first since right around silvertear actually is the elezen homeland and thats where the elf bandits on the first are hanging out trying to reclaim their homeland.

[steve0discusses]

The Full Metal Alchemist Live Action Movie Part 8: Watch This Episode Covered in Butts be the Only One Not Flagged by Tumblr

Gonna be risky business and not only upload all of these caps the way I screenshot them--which has just SO MANY poorly CGI’d butts but also gonna do it on the Tumblr Drafts folder, which I have been assured works now.

I’m so worried about so many things, but considering all the fears I have about like...everything else in the world right now...I guess I’ll take a risk on tumblr.

Edit: I cannot believe that I had 8ish episodes of Kaiba’s tall dueling tower get flagged but not this movie. I just....wow I cannot.

So anyway, last we left off, General Hakuro stepped in and was like “Hi guys, you like my wily plans that no one in their right mind would have ever guessed???”

Yo remember this part of the anime? Where the bodies drop from the ceiling and it’s a hunk out of the final arc--it’s here. In this movie. This movie that can’t possibly afford to do that. Lets get some CGI animated bodies in here ASAP.

(see some texture regrets under the cut)

It’s like a Monet, as the Mean Girls say, because far away and shrinked to 500 pixels this looks kinda neat. They sort of look more like those slime ball that grow in the back of your throat rather than human bodies, but they still look pretty gross hanging up there.

But then.....we zoom in. Remember again that this was full screen on my computer, and at one point was on a freakin movie screen. This level of 3d...was on a movie theater screen.

The mind boggles. The mind boggles!

Like as you know, I am an artist, and I’ve dabbled in...basically everything in my pursuit to make a dollar...and I have taken about 2 years of classes in 3D art with Maya and all those. I’m not thaaat great at it--I’m much more an illustrator/painter--but I feel like I have that reference point. Can I just say--the model is...fine...you can do a lot with layers of bump maps so you don’t need a truly detailed model (not like they did that, because they didn’t do that, but I can figure that maybe they had an intention to do that and forgot?)

But, there’s no connection of the wires to bodies. They just kinda float? The bodies are also all the same shiny-ness? To the point that it looks like a copy paste? (I don’t think it is, the wires are slightly different on a few of them) There’s just not much in the way of a texture map or a bump map. It just...there’s also something missing from the skin.

Skin is actually kind of rough to render, so when I did it back in the day, I followed like a checklist to make sure I had all the layers and steps to make someone look...clammy. Some things are kinda translucent, they reflect light a different way...especially white skin like this wouldn’t be just...white like putty. Dunno if you ever saw a white person, but we got so many veins...there was so much potential to make something really gross and fleshy.

Instead we got silly putty. It’s fine. I’m fine.

So General Hakuro decides to just...kill everyone right now.

This makes no sense to me.

That means that the whole thing of Lust killing Hughes was completely unrelated to General Hakuro. All Hakuro needed was Shou Tucker, who has been in prison for...I assume months since Ed shipped him off. And Shou was only released today? Just now? Just now when Hughes was shot?

So this all just happened at the same time by accident?

I mean the General sent us to the wrong lab initially, so he didn’t actually want us to be here, and now that we are here, he’s going to set off an entire army as a reaction to three people walking in and going “oops”?

So, lets get a look at our army.

Oh it was so disappointing, this reveal. Not just the eyeball that has a bounce light coming from below the top lip there (how did that even happen???) but also when it opened it’s mouth, it had a flat animation of skin breaking--it wasn’t actually rendered 3d skin, it was like a jpg wrapped around it or something (or at least that was the illusion I got. That is fine for a video game or a TV show, but this is a movie. This is shot so that it can be displayed in a size bigger than your own house.

What happened to the animation team on this one? Not saying I can do better, cuz no, I can’t, that 3d chapter in my life was a while back, but I’m just one guy. This was an entire animation studio and they just...didn’t render 3d face ripping (which is their entire job, to work in 3d) and then they kinda just turned on the stock physics dynamics and dropped em instead of animating them.

The way they fell was like fish from a bucket--the same amount of speed, too. they all ragdolled like a 3D shooter, their rigs just hanging on for dear life (and yes, you could see the deforming happen on the joints of these models.) I’m fine with having a computer program render something out with a physics engine...but there is a balance.

You do have to still go in there and finangle it back because...real life is hella stupid. Real physics? So stupid. It was hilarious how nonthreatening it was, too because they’re like...the size of shrimps in that zoom out image. The scale is just so wild!

It was like one bored guy in a sound booth and they multiplied his voice three times. Golden. Absolutely golden.

So these guys stride over, all of them with the same amount of speed (leading me to think it was probably a recorded walk cycle they all share with slight alterations between all of em) and they kinda just...pile on eachother in a weird way.

I will give them this: I was happy to see something that wasn’t physics or procedural. They mo-capped and animated that part for sure. It had the touch of an artist’s hand. It was also a very funny way for Hakuro to die because this guy was on screen for like 5 minutes, and maybe 7 minutes of this whole movie.

Youknow...I think it really says a lot about your nude 3d models if they’re not disturbingly human enough to trigger the tumblr filter, youknow?

Anyway, Envy looks on.

And then Gluttony saves the city.

Meanwhile, they decide to bust out the fire effects and Mustang becomes the most useful person in this entire movie. Like honestly this movie was poorly named, because it should have just been “Mustang saves the FullMetal Alchemist’s Entire Ass.”

The next part seems like I forgot a cap, or maybe missed something. I swear to you, I did not.

First off, Al becomes fullmetal and makes this happen without an alchemy circle. The show doesn’t really care to talk about that though, it’s just a thing he can do now, and you’d only notice it if you were writing a Tumblr post about it.

I swear to you, Winry is just inside of Al and there is no explanation.

There is no explanation for this.

She was on the couch...why is she not on the couch? What?

And then when you think they might have a moment, Ed’s like.

Damn.

For reals what the hell was that entire scene except for a way for Ed to get his arm stitched back on in like 2 minutes?

Outside, Envy and Lust are just strolling around the back-alley of this red brick building we have seen used for this entire movie.

And like...it’s so funny to me because they weren’t trying to run or hide. It makes complete sense why they got shot. This is what happens when you just...walk away when the whole military guard wants to kill you.

Now lets go see how Hawkeye is faring.

Luckily, all of the ambling bodies have decided to walk slowly through this one weird grass section between extremely long buildings.

And Hawkeye tells everyone “You have to shoot their heads off” and I want you to look at that scene and tell me how many of those bodies still have heads.

Oh, all of them. Don’t worry about it.

Kinda hard to see, but Ed shows up to give Mustang a hand, which was fully unnecessary but we’ll get to that in a bit.

This movie is such a gem.

Ed goes big brain and realizes that Envy is still burned up, and thus is about to pass on.

And whatever, I’ll take it. It’s not like the movie has told us that they are made out of 1000000 lives, for all we know, in the movie universe, they really are only 4 lives. Like half a cat. Maybe Father only killed half a cat instead of an entire city.

Yugi Muto would be so freakin proud of Envy for how often this guy gets hit square in the chest with fire balls. It’s basically every scene where Envy and Mustang share screen time.

And don’t worry, I don’t think Envy died? But they sure made it look like he did, which I’m sure everyone everywhere was really happy to see, since Envy’s death was one of the climaxes of the whole series. Like people used to make these lists of “top 10 saddest anime deaths” and how many people had Envy on there? Like everyone? People freakin love Envy and they did him so much dirty in this movie.

Again I have no explanation for Winry.

So Mustang is like, Ed, you make sure Winry doesn’t biff it in that corner, and I’ll do my actual job over here on this side. And yo, he did.

And so then that’s it, Lust is dead, and now we have a Sorcerer’s stone.

Man it looks delicious, right?

I’d eat the hell out of that.

Anyway, we only have one more update and we’re done with this movie!

I know!

I know! They only have 10-15 minutes to resolve pretty much everything, and that’s assuming that the credits don’t take up a heap of that. Hell, I might only have 3 caps next episode if that’s all credits. I honestly don’t remember.

Anyway, hope y’all take it easy this February, here is a link for people who just got here to read these FMA recaps in Chrono order.

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/fma/chrono

[mysteira6]

FukaFlower - Holding Your Left Hand

~*~*~*~*~

Summary:

She wasn’t gonna let him feel bad for holding his left hand.

Setting: Fukase and Flower are in the same high school grade and are around 17 - 18 years old. Also, they’re already a couple in this one-shot. Read on for fluff, angst and a little sweet moment at the end. ^3^

~*~*~*~*~

Autumn-coloured lamps decorated the streets, surrounding the many stalls by the pathway in a warm-coloured glow. Young adults in ankle-length yukatas and young children with bags of candy and treats in their hands littered the road before them, the small-talk between groups of teens and squeals of delight amongst children filling their ears. Stall owners left and right were hollering customers over, hoping to catch their attention to play their games or buy their fun-coloured snacks.

The white-haired teen blinked at the sight. “Wow,” She muttered. “I know Miku was warning us when she said this year’s carnival would be ‘packed as sardines’, but I wasn’t expecting it to be this… crowded…”

She heard a light-hearted chuckle from the young man standing beside her. “Welp, I guess that’s a lesson learnt,” He said jokingly.

“What lesson?”

As he turned to her, his scarlet right eye sparkled jovially. “That we should actually listen to the ‘popular diva’ instead of assuming that she only talks about rumours,” He noted, another laugh emerging from his mouth.

The thought of that made her narrow her eyes a little. “I’m not so sure about that, Fukase,” She murmured skeptically, shaking her head. “She talks more about gossip than anything remotely useful-”

“But if we had listened to her, then we wouldn’t be caught in this human traffic jam now, wouldn’t we?” The redhead replied, though soon after, he heaved a sigh and shrugged his shoulders sheepishly. “Oh well, we’re here anyway and the night is young, Flower! Hopefully, the crowd will thin out in a bit,”

Despite her initial disappointment of not having a peaceful stroll with him, the optimistic grin on his face was enough to wash her negativity away. Of course he would try to cheer her up like this. After all, this date was his idea, something that he came up with during their lunch hour when all the other students were talking about the upcoming summer festival and how carnivals were being set up in dozens of neighbourhoods. Given that they had just finished their school term, it seemed like a perfect time to start their summer break with a fun little getaway with just the two of them.

Flower puffed in mild annoyance. When Fukase asked her to go to the carnival in their neighbourhood together, she got giddy with excitement as she always was when it came to their dates. That was one of the strangest things about being with him; somehow, he had managed to break down her curt demeanor and unpack her sweet side that very few people saw. All it took was him being a cheerful jokester who not only tried his best to make everyone smile, but also possessed a kind heart to help anyone he could. Funny then, that he would be interested, and eventually fall in love with, a pessimistic girl who was essentially a stoic emotional wall.

Oh well. Life can be that weird sometimes. In fact, what was more weird was that as he talked to her everyday, cracking a joke here and there, Flower found herself becoming more conscious of how she presented herself in front of him. The little things that she barely cared about before gradually took priority in her appearance as he tried everyday to make her smile a little. Smoothing out her skirt and brushing her hair behind her ears were only two of the dozen things that crossed her mind as soon as she heard him talking to her.

Tonight was no exception to her new routine of fussing over her appearance; as soon as she got home, Flower immediately made a beeline for her preppy younger sister, Xin Hua, who was lounging on the sofa and scrolling through the feed on her phone as usual. However, after Flower explained her situation, the cobalt-haired teen quickly placed her phone aside and partook in the giddy excitement that her older sister was feeling. One trip to Sachiko’s yukata gallery and another to Mizki’s hair accessory treasury was enough for the aspiring fashionista to dress her sister up for her special summer date.

“Flower? Flower!” The sight of his bandaged hand waving front of her was enough to snap the short-haired teen back to reality, her violet eyes blinking a few times to readjust her field of vision. “Hey, are you okay?” Fukase asked her, a worried frown inscribed on his lips as he placed a hand on her shoulder.

“O-oh, sorry, I… I’m okay,” She stuttered in embarrassment, slightly ashamed that she spaced out in the middle of nowhere. Her instinctive reaction of looking down whenever she got awkward got her looking at the yukata that Xin Hua had picked for her. It was of a deep violet shade, accompanied by prints of lavender and white coloured cherry-blossoms and outlines of round lanterns scattered across her sleeves and skirt. She had a grape-purple obi tied around her waist to keep her outfit together and Ms Sachiko even gave her complimentary wooden sandals and a hickory-coloured basket for her necessities to complete the ensemble. ‘Cherish your youth’, she had said with a warm smile after Flower had told her the reason for her purchase.

Meanwhile, Fukase chuckled at her quiet response and quietly slid his right hand under her chin, gently lifting her gaze to look at him. There wasn’t an obvious height difference between them (except for a few centimeters that Flower had but Fukase didn’t) but even then, Flower felt rather small under the gaze of his right eye, his left one being concealed under his white eye patch. Having him stand close to her also allowed her to take in his outfit for the night; a muted red yukata with black lines resembling tree branches drawn on its cloth all held together by a thin bright red obi.

“You sure?” He smirked at her like a cheeky devil would, the jokester side of him showing. “You’re blushing, you know,”

His words rooted her to the spot. “No, I am not!”

“Sharp response. I thought you were a kuudere, not a tsundere,”

“I-Does that really matter right now?!”

Her flustered response was met with a fit of laughter from Fukase, his red curls dancing in the air as he shook his head jokingly. “I kid! I kid!” He sang out as he held his hands up as if surrendering. “Please spare me from your silent treatment, Hana-chan~”

She puffed her cheeks. “You’re only lucky that I decided to dress up for tonight and I don’t want to ruin our date,”

“Oh right, I was gonna say,” His expression lit up as he continued. “You look… as pretty as a flower tonight,”

He half-heartedly expected a startled response and was unsurprised when she only snarkily replied: “A pun-related flirt isn’t going to get to me, Fukase,” Of course she’d say something like that.

“Darnnit, that didn’t work as well as I had hoped,” He pretended to be upset for a moment before raising his right hand towards her, cueing the snow-haired girl to blink at him a few times.

“Well anyway,” He began, tilting his head at her cutely. “Now that we’ve been chatting here for a while, I believe it’s about time for us to head down there, yeah?”

She found herself beaming as she accepted his hand. “Yes, let’s,”

~*~*~*~*~

“Come and catch your own kingyo! Only 200 yen to bring one home!”

“Fresh shaved ice and candied apples for sale! Come and get them before they’re gone!”

As their evening continued, the crowd really did grow thinner as most of the younger children were brought home by their parents and some of the teenagers were heading home as well. Since the both of them were night owls on a daily basis, the moon climbing up the sky did not bother them. Fukase’s enthusiasm for them to visit every stall did not falter even as the night went on. Beside him, Flower held tightly to his right hand, a small smile on her face as she witnessed him bring her all around the carnival. She could tell that he was excited for it.

“Are you hungry? We should get some mochi here,”

“I think those pinwheel headbands would look cute on you,”

“Hey, this fruit tea tastes great! Try some!”

Perhaps it was a little selfish for her to say it, but Flower really liked the attention that he was giving her tonight. It wasn’t odd for Fukase to treat her so kindly (he was literally known for being the kindest person for a lot of people) but hearing him talk to her alone made her feel warm and fuzzy inside, a feeling that only he could generate. However, tonight it felt like Fukase’s gentlemanly nature was much more prominent than usual… Was it because they were wearing such fancy clothes?

Whatever the reason was, she didn’t really care about it. After all, who would turn down a kind, pampering boyfriend like him? Even though Flower was slow to understand social norms as a wallflower, she knew enough to recognise that Fukase was kind of spoiling her (not that she was complaining, mind you).

Her train of thought was interrupted when something at a shelf on her left managed to catch her attention, silently motioning her to get closer to the stall with multi-coloured stacks of cans lined up in pyramidal formation behind its counter. She couldn’t take her eyes off one of the prizes at the game stall; a small lavender rabbit with a translucent maroon ribbon wrapped around its neck and a top hat sewn onto its head. Its subtle resemblance to Fukase’s normal outfit was probably what caught her eye.

“Whatcha looking at?” The very person she was thinking about turned his head in the same direction as she was facing, his eyes scanning the game stall for whatever had caught her attention. “Do you see that little rabbit on the shelf?” Flower whispered to him while leaning close to his ear. “It’s kinda cute. I just thought that it looked like you in your coat, doesn’t it?”

The redhead has his eyes trained on the stuffed toy that had caught his girlfriend’s attention. It didn’t take him long to mutter a ‘let’s head over there’ as he brought them both over to the stall, his hand never letting go of her despite her initial surprise. After he forked out some coins for the stall owner, a basket with brightly coloured plastic balls was placed in front of him, the challenge of knocking over all the cans in three hits now laying before him.

“Fukase, you don’t have to do this for me,” The white-haired girl standing behind him said timidly, a bit uneasy that he decided to play this game just for her.

The redhead smiled at her. “But I want to,” He simply said, picking up the first ball from the basket. “Besides, you like that rabbit doll, right?”

“Well, yeah, but-”

“Then just sit tight and watch me win it for you!” He gleefully replied as he aimed for the base of one of the can pyramids before hurling his ball at them, nailing a hit on the cans at the bottom for his first throw. The coloured cans tumbled onto the table with loud clatters and clangs as the pyramid fell, knocking down all the obstacles quickly. He grinned at his victory.

“Wow, you got them all in one shot!” The stall owner commended, lightly clapping her hands to his success. “Congratulations! You’re welcomed to choose any prize you want for winning,”

“Any prize?” Fukase glanced over to her as the lady nodded, her satin pink hair bouncing up and down. He soon turned his eyes back to the little rabbit that Flower had been eyeing this whole time, the smile on his face widening. “Can I have the little rabbit over there? The one of that shelf, please,”

“Sure thing!” She replied as she gently lifted the rabbit doll off the shelf and handed it over to him. “Thank you for playing!” The store owner sang out as Fukase received the doll from her, turning back to his girlfriend. Holding out the lavender rabbit doll in his two hands, he smiled warmly at her. “Ta-da! Here you go, Flower,”

Her face shone as she held the doll in her hands, now able to marvel its cuteness up close. It really did look similar to Fukase in his fancy outfit. “Thank you,” She unknowingly broke into a wide smile as she petted the rabbit’s head the same way she did to Point, Fukase’s pet doll. “It’s really cute…” She giggled.

He grinned at her, a warm feeling washing over him at the sight of Flower’s smile. It never failed to make him smile back at her, or to make his cheeks feel a little warmer than usual. Deep down, he wished she did that all the time, but he also understood her take on it; it was better to let her slowly get into the habit of smiling instead of forcing it on her.

Instead, he raised his hand towards her again, hoping to continue their stroll through the carnival until he noticed which one he was holding up to her. In a hasty maneuver, Fukase swiftly relocated himself to be standing on her right side as he offered his hand to her again, disregarding the confused expression on her face. “Shall we go back to the path, milady?”

She giggled again at his formal demeanor. “You don’t have to be so formal,” She quickly packed her new rabbit doll into her basket as she accepted his hand again. Although she was already well aware of his odd behaviour from before, Flower knew better to not bring it up and make him embarrassed.

Unfortunately, the more she thought about it, the more it started to bug her. Especially when she started to realise how often such situations would occur multiple times that night. Upon closer inspection, there was one thing that they all had in common; the fact that Fukase had never let her hold his left hand.

As much as she didn’t want to sound like some prissy girl complaining on their date, the urge to ask him about it was stronger than those worries. “Hey, Fukase?” The white-haired teen began, tugging a little on their interlocked hands to get his attention. “Can I… ask you something?”

He eagerly turned to her. “What is it?”

“Can I hold your left hand?”

The question alone was enough to wash his bright smile away, replacing it with an astonished frown on his face and a startled expression in his eye. His footsteps immediately stopped in the middle of the pathway as his grip on her hand tightened a little. For a while, Flower started to regret asking that question; she would’ve not done so if it meant that she was going to be subjected to him staring at her, downright baffled at her words. Now, she felt as if she was riveted to the ground by his gaze, feeling her heart climbing up her throat as she gulped loudly.

Fortunately for her, he broke their staring contest by turning his head away from her for a bit, his left hand covered from top to bottom in bandages rising up to cover his face. In a low, apologetic tone, he muttered: “Uh, sorry about that,”

She was speechless. “Eh?”

“I know you don’t like it when people stare at you, so… sorry that I was doing that just now.” He hastily apologised before continuing. “A-anyway, why do you want to h-hold my left hand? I mean-! Is there a reason? N-not that you have to tell me, wait I mean-!”

As the redhead stumbled over his words, the gears in Flower’s head started turning. A line of stuttering dialogue from Fukase convinced her that her asking him about it was the right thing to do; in a normal everyday conversation, he would never ever trip over his own words. As far as she could remember, his confidence in speaking has never failed him, only faltering a little whenever Flower managed to sneak a sweet, unintentionally affectionate line of dialogue to him. So to hear him uncharacteristically stutter so much while talking to her normally… Flower quickly realised that something was up.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me, Fukase,” She tried to ameliorate the situation, hoping that he wasn’t too embarrassed. “I’m really sorry that I asked it so randomly-”

“It’s not that, it’s just…” He trailed off as his eyebrows furrowed, his gaze shifted to the sight of his left, bandaged, roughly-surfaced hand. A sigh left his lips; he was gonna have to tell her something eventually, so why wait?

“The truth is,” He started, hoping that he didn’t sound too nervous. “No one… has ever held my left hand before…”

“Why?” She blurted out as her curiosity overrode her politeness.

“I never offered it to them,” He explained slowly, gaining a bit more confidence as he confessed to her. “I mean, you know how my hand looks; it’s a mess. And even with these bandages, it’s still really… you know, coarse and rough,”

Flower found herself frowning at the mention of what his left hand really looked like. It called back a past memory of their time together, when Fukase had told her the events that caused him to look as he is now. That day, he even slowly, very gingerly, took off his bandages and eye patch to show her the scars he had hidden from everyone for so long, the damaged side of him that he refused to show in public in the fear that he would be met with disgust and disdain.

But on the contrary to his fear of Flower leaving him, Fukase was embraced by her love and adoration for him, the emotions in her that he managed to call out now being gifted to him instead as some form of mutual bond. In the same way that he helped her break down her emotional barriers, she had helped him overcome his trauma-induced obstacles. It was a relationship between them that nothing in the world could break.

And tonight was just another testament to it, Fukase realised as Flower quickly shook off his hold on her own hand, instead reaching for his left, roughly-surfaced one covered in white straps of cloth. Her fingers brushed across his as she matched them to line up with hers, a small yet ever-so-kind smile on her face encased in her lips. Fukase unknowingly gulped at the sight of his girlfriend looking at him with so much kindness and care, her beauty brought out even more tonight with her neatly combed tomboyish hair and lilac-coloured butterfly pin.

“Fukase,” She broke the silence between them as she whispered softly. “Does it feel any different when I hold your hand like this?”

He averted his eyes at her question. “Well, for me, it feels the same but for you-”

“It’s the same for me too, you know,” She interrupted him gently, shifting her right hand to the side a little as she interlocked their hands together. “I know you’re always worried about how your scars might change how I see you, but… You know that’s never gonna happen, right?”

As soon as she spotted the skepticism in his eyes, she took it as a sign to continue. “Whichever hand I’m holding doesn’t matter to me so long as it’s yours, Fukase. You don’t have to be worried about how you look when you’re with me; I don’t mind any of it at all,”

“ … Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. Besides,” She chuckled as she recalled another memory. “Didn’t I already tell you before that I liked your scars?”

“W-well yeah, but…” After baring out the truth to her, the red-haired boy felt unnaturally vulnerable, the somewhat playful tone in her voice making him blush. He still wasn’t used to her telling him that she liked the permanent markings on his skin. For a long time, he hated them and wished that they would just disappear, especially since they were a reminder of that dark side of him. And yet to listen to her words when she said that she liked them… it felt like letting go of a breath of air that he’d be holding for a long time. ‘Because they’re a part of you too’, Flower had told him back then. ‘That’s why I like them’

Meanwhile, the girl standing before him gently pulled their interlocked hands back down, her left hand holding tightly to her basket as she turned back to the path. “I really don’t mind holding your left hand, Fukase,” She reassured him again with a soft smile. “So… let’s keep this date going, okay?”

Flower hadn’t even taken one step forward before she was tugged back towards the red-haired boy, his uncalloused hand cupping her face as he pulled her closer to him. Just like the beginning of their date when he had commented on her blushing cheeks, the snow-haired teen found herself hypnotized by his armour-piercing gaze, his right red eye staring intently at her for a short while only to soften as he leaned his face close to her, closing his eyes and landing his lips onto hers. As her cheeks heated up like red-hot iron, she knew in absolute certainty that she was blushing now.

It seemed as if time stood still as Fukase kissed her, the action and noises in their surroundings seeming to pause as her eyelids slid shut in conjunction to his daring public display of affection, his head tilting slightly to deepen their kiss as Flower mimicked his actions. It felt like hours had slipped by them as they parted from their kiss, the commotion from the carnival returning to their field of vision and awareness.

Fukase’s face was almost as red as his hair as he chuckled lightly, his iconic bright smile back on his face. “Hana-chan, thank you,” His voice was teeming with gratitude as he thanked her. “You always seem to know exactly what to say,”

Flower was blushing equally as much, her wallflower shyness emerging from her. “I’m just being honest,” She humbly replied.

“How in the world did I get a girlfriend as amazing as you?”

“I could say the same for you, you know,”

“Me? What did I do?”

“I mean, how in the world did I get a boyfriend as sweet and funny as you?”

“Hey! Don’t copy my words!”

“But it’s true!”

The both of them laughed at each other’s antics, their hands interlocked with one another as they continued to stroll down the dirt-trodden path.

~*~*~*~*~

A/N: GAAAAAHHHH these two make me soft~ ;-;

[pulaasul]

Rebelling Skull - 4

A Sequel to Femoral Meeting.

After meeting an organization dedicated to exterminating Shadows, Ryuji finds his path crossing with  said organization more times than he’d like. Is it mere coincidence or simply something from a past he’s unaware of, haunting him?

1 I 2 I 3

Ao3 I FFN

---------

~ Let's go to that place we love

You can make it. I believe in you. ~

As soon as everyone on stage sang the final note, the song stopped.

"Thank You! Shujin!" The idols yelled at their microphones.

However instead of loud cheers erupted from the audience, screams of fear pierced everyone's ears as the surroundings turned green and a lot of standing coffins appeared in place of the people.

Ryuji and Anne were now donning their masks without their usual Phantom Thief outfits.

"Sakamoto!" Mitsuru's voice rang inside Ryuji's mind. "What's your status?" She asked.

"Panther and I are surrounded by panicking students," Ryuji relayed their situation. "Alongside the coffins from before." He added as he removed his blazer and gave it to Anne.

Anne immediately wore the blazer and released her hair as she looked around for Futaba.

"I can't find Oracle!" Anne exclaimed in alarm.

"Kujikawa, prioritize the people on stage." Mitsuru ordered.

"I am right by the entrance," Futaba interjected through the link. "I had to get away from the panicking students." She explained.

"Good, you reconvene with your teammates," Mitsuru ordered. "Sakamoto, Panther, and Oracle once the three of you reunite, you round up the people wearing rings similar to Rise's companions and place them onstage." She added. "Kujikawa, I'm assuming you have you have one of those rings as well?"

"I do." Rise confirmed.

"Give that one to Sakamoto so they'll have a reference." Mitsuru instructed.

"What do these rings do exactly?" Anne voiced her concern. "And why only the people wearing them?"

"Those rings prevent a person's shadow from going berserk," Mitsuru explained. "The people not wearing those rings has a probability of turning into a shadow and attack innocents," She added. "We're simply preventing a worst-case scenario from happening."

"Roger that!" Ryuji and Anne nodded. "Leave it to us."

"Yeah, yeah sure," Futaba gave a sound. "Just that we need to stick to our codenames," Futaba growled. "They exist for a reason."

"I see..."

"You can call me Skull." Ryuji immediately informed.

"Very well," Mitsuru conceded. "I'm leaving you in charge of your group's tasks, Skull."

"Leave it to us!"

"Saka-" Mishima tried to talk to his companions only for Anne to cut him off.

"Call me Panther and him Skull," Anne informed. "What happened to Ren could also happen to us," She explained. "Can I count on you, Mishima?"

Mishima gasped but nodded in approval. "What's this about the rings?" He asks. "You've been mentioning rings recently."

Ryuji looked at Mishima's hand. He was wearing a ring that had a dim glow.

Suddenly a humanoid being with red hair in a white flowing dress arrived and gave Ryuji the same ring before it promptly disappeared.

"Wha-what was that?!" Mishima panicked.

"Calm down Nishima," Futaba admonished as she descended from her Persona. "These are what makes stealing of hearts possible," She explained. "I see you're wearing one of these rings as well," She unceremoniously grabbed the boy's hand and inspected the ring. "Hey Kirijo, do these rings glow?"

"Affirmative," Mitsuru responded through the link. "I fear some rings just glow in the dark."

"So you gave us a sample," Anne supplied. "Just to be sure."

"Precisely." Mitsuru nodded.

Ryuji removed his shirt and gave it to Futaba as Anne immediately worked on her hair.

"Why'd you give me your shirt?" Oracle looked at the shirt and Skull.

"Same reason." Ryuji shrugged.

Futaba nodded and wore the shirt over her school uniform as Anne styled her hair into pigtails. The cat-masked blond then swiped a cap from a panicking student and forcefully placed them on top of Ryuji's head.

"What was that for?!" Ryuji reacted.

"For you." Panther rolled her eyes. "Kirijo and her allies may know about your identity, but others are still in the dark about it." She explained.

"We can count on Nishima to keep these under wraps right?" Futaba chimed in.

"You can count on me." Mishima nodded with determination.

"Anytime now." Rise voiced out through the link. "I can't hold off these shadows for much longer."

"Be on the defensive," Mitsuru advised. "Use Makarakarn and Tetrakarn." She added. "Wait for all of us to arrive."

"Just hurry!"

----------

"Artemisia!" Mitsuru yelled as she summoned her Persona who simply whipped the air around her.

Ice Pillars and ice blocks appeared and encased the Shadows inside them.

Karasuma was busy herding the students and teachers wearing rings, as instructed by the Kirijo, while she was busy handling their attackers.

"Double time!" Karasuma urged the teachers and students. "We need to go up on the stage."

Karasuma's words got everyone rushing towards the stage dodging the coffins and ice pillars that were in the area.

Mitsuru on the other hand switched to erecting ice walls to hinder the shadows from approaching the civilians. She does so by having Artemisia strike the floor with the whip.

---------

Rise was busy defending her fellow idols onstage. She has Himiko in her battle mode and erected translucent hexagonal walls around the stage.

Suddenly, a bunch of fireballs was coming their way.

"Gaaaaaah!" The female idols screamed in fear.

As if in agreement, the people on stage began to herd themselves at the back entrance only to see more of those creatures backstage, eliciting a similar response.

A scream.

Rise was quick to sense the shadows and was able to erect hexagonal walls in front of the idols and reflect the incoming attacks at them.

"Risette." Everyone stared at her in amazement.

A fireball struck the hexagonal walls, which was reflected, but they vanished.

"Gather around me." Rise ordered. "I can't erect these walls around us if you're spread out like that." She explained.

Himiko re-erected the translucent hexagonal walls just in time for another attack to be reflected.

"We're completely surrounded!" Rise called out loud to her link.

"We're close by." Ryuji's voice replied.

"As are we," Mitsuru assured the idol. "Just hold out a little bit longer Kujikawa."

"Just hurry!"

----------

"Go, Captain Kidd!" Ryuji yelled as his Persona appeared behind him.

Captain Kidd shot out three cannonballs from his cannon of a right hand and blasted away three Oberons approaching the hexagonal walls.

"Carmen!" Anne yelled. "Maragidyne!"

Carmen appeared behind Anne as she shot three fireballs on the floor that sprouted into three stationary fire tornadoes that burnt the three Skadis preparing to attack.

"Wow!" Mishima gaped in amazement. "Are all the thieves as powerful as you?" He fired off a question.

"Kinda not the time Nishima!" Futaba exclaimed. "Risette!" She called out. "Let us through!"

A hole appeared on the wall of translucent hexagons not a moment later, just enough for everyone from their group to get inside.

Futaba exited from her Persona and went alongside the students and teachers from their group into the enclosure that Rise has erected.

"Artemisia! No mercy!" Mitsuru declared.

Artemisia rose in the air and began whipping all the shadows that surrounded Rise's enclosure, encasing all the shadows in the vicinity in ice. The few that were impervious to the ice attack were done in by Karasuma's fists, although they merely flew a few feet away rather than disappear completely.

"Sheesh, That woman's scary!" Futaba observed.

"No, no, no the guy she's with is scary," Ryuji shook his head. "Did you see how he just punched the Shadow?"

"Kinda not the time!" Anne hissed.

The enclosure opened once more, on Mitsuru's side, and let the Kirijo's group through.

Karasuma immediately approached Sugino and Yamamoto and gave the both of them a smoke grenade each.

"On the count of three, we're dropping these here and make our escape." Karasuma instructed.

"Creatures are also present backstage sensei." Sugino informed.

"The smoke would only blind us." Yamamoto added.

"I can guide us outside." Futaba offered. "Although I cannot guarantee that there won't be any of them outside."

"Oracle is right," Mitsuru stated. "These Shadows are present outside."

"Then what do you suppose we do Kirijo," Karasuma bit out. "This is your jurisdiction."

"Does anyone have dormina?" Mitsuru questioned the Persona users present.

"I do." Panther voiced out.

"Put them to sleep." Mitsuru ordered.

"You can't do that!" Some of the idols protested. "What guarantee do we have that you won't ditch us?" They questioned.

Karasuma simply waited for the Kirijo's response.

"I have to agree, we need to go outside." Ryuji voiced out.

"Care to elaborate Skull?" Mitsuru challenged.

"We're sitting ducks inside the gym," Ryuji replied. "We're surrounded," He gestured at the surrounding hostilities. "If we're outside we can have a bit more room to move and we can use some of our skills freely." He added.

"Right, you have God's Hand and Agneyastyra." Mitsuru hummed. "How do you suggest we move with these many people?" She questioned.

"Hey, Oracle." Ryuji faced the youngest of the thieves. "Can Necronomicon carry passengers?" He asked.

"Let's try," Futaba answered. "Necronomicon!"

A spaceship appeared above Ryuji and tentacle-like things descended from the UFO and wrapped themselves on Skull's and Oracle's wrists, elbows, and ankles. The tentacles then began to raise the two of them and let them inside.

"What do you think?" Futaba asked.

After a few seconds of discussion, the UFO hovering over everyone disappeared as Ryuji and Futaba inside dropped down.

"Oracle says, she can fit more than half of them in there," Ryuji informed. "I can take the other half."

"Magnifique!" Mitsuru praised. "Your Personas can double as vessels for everyone." She pointed out. "We can transport them from one place to another without risk of injuring them."

"I am not getting inside that-that thing." One of the female students protested. "I've seen way too many anime to know what happens inside." She cringed at the mere thought.

"Well then, the boys will go with Oracle and the girls will go with Skull," Mitsuru ordered. "Kujikawa I want you to place Makarakarn and Tetrakarn walls in front of Oracle's and Skull's personas so stave off attacks from the shadows." She issued. "Panther you're with me."

"Let's go! Captain Kidd!"

"Come on! Necronomicon!"

Captain Kidd and Necronomicon appeared by their summoner's sides.

The girls boarded the ship that Captain Kidd was standing on one by one while the males were lifted into Necronomicon via the tentacle-like things that sprouted from the Persona's underside.

"Sugino, Yamamoto, and I won't be going inside," Karasuma informed. "The three of us will throw a smoke grenade to obscure the enemies' view on us."

"Will you be able to catch up with us?" Mitsuru questioned.

"Shouldn't your Persona's whip be able to latch onto them should they fall behind?" Futaba stated, through the link.

"Don't worry." Yamamoto chuckled. "We'll be able to catch up."

"No need to worry," Karasuma assured. "We'll run once the smoke grenades are thrown."

[rongasm]

Hi friends! A while ago I answered an ask and made this post about my makeup routine because I have oily af skin and very red, pigmented skin from terrible acne scarring, and I really struggle with it. At the time these were my go-to products, but I’ve upped my game a little bit (and infallible changed their formula... boooo) so I thought I would update you on my makeup routine. These will not be all drugstore brands. If you want my drugstore advice, go to the post I linked above. 

The order of my routine has also changed over time because I’m spending more money on products. This is for beginners in makeup who probably wouldn’t know as much as someone who spends a lot of time on youtube (god knows I don’t) so it’s probably gonna be pretty basic. 

Basically, if you’re like me and you don’t have an older sister giving you advice on makeup, this is for you! 

Step one: Moisturizer! 

So, it turns out your makeup stays on way better when you put moisturizer on first. Your skin, when it’s oily like mine (ours) gets unbalanced and the oils are in different places, causing some of your makeup to stay on, and some to slide off. I’ve been using Caudalie Vinosource Moisturizing Sorbet, which I really like because it soothes the redness of my skin from my acne scars. When you’re using your fingers, start around your nose (the more oily place, basically) and brush out with the pads of your fingers. I don’t know why this works better, but it does. 

Step two: Primer!

There’s a lot that you can use for primers, I personally don’t stick to one. For acne scarring and redness, I would try smashbox photo finish-- the green one. It helps with pigmentation. I also really like the Milk blur stick and I still adore the Rimmel London Stay Matte primer. I’ve found that the primers with the stickier consistencies work better for me. 

Step three: Take a break.

I recently realized that my makeup lasts about 85 times longer when I do my eye makeup after I do my primer and moisturizer. Tangent: My eyelashes never, ever curl, so I’ve been using Covergirl the Supersizer Waterproof Mascara lately. It is literally the only mascara in the universe that will get my lashes to stay up. However, I don’t love the way it kinda thins my lashes out, so I’ve been trying to come up with a routine where I combine it with Lash Paradise (a Better Than Sex Mascara dupe) to create a thicker, more dramatic look. Everyone’s been raving about Lash Paradise, for the record. When I went to Ulta to grab it, there were literally only two left. Unfortunately, it doesn’t hold my curl, so that makes me sad. 

Step four: Foundation!

I tried to fight it. I tried to deny it. Kat Von D’s Lock-It foundation.... you’re undeniable. It’s the best color match of my life-- usually makeup professionals white-wash me; I have this olive-y Jewish skin that’s pretty pale, but it’s not, like, pale-pale. This foundation actually matches it and it makes me g l o w. It stays on 6-ever. I take my wet beauty blender (it goes on better when it’s wetter and you use less product, which means the product lasts longer and you don’t have to buy it again sooner) and put little dots on my face. Then I blend all the dots together. I use light, blotty strokes, except for where I press harder, which is in areas that are super red for me-- above the eyebrows, above the upper lip, especially. I either do one and a half pumps, one layer, or two pumps with two layers, depending on how thick I want it. And. It. WORKS! (This has become a lot of oily skinned people’s holy grail foundation. It is #blessed.) 

Step five: Concealer!

I’d been using Mac’s pro-longwear concealer since high school, and I really liked it. I know it oxidizes weird on some people’s skin, but it worked fine with me. However, when I switched to Lock-It, I also happened to be running out of concealer, so instead of hopping from Sephora to Macy’s to grab my usual Mac go-to, I just snatched up the Lock-It concealer that matched my color. I really like it because instead of a pump like the Mac pro-longwear, it comes with a little stick, like a liquid lipstick. You can use that stick to apply very little or alot, and it saves product and is very precise. I tuck it onto any really bad acne spots (it doesn’t really help with the pockmarks I have above my left eyebrow, but nothing does), then I put it on top of my nose, in the side creases of my nose, the creases of my smile lines (they always lose makeup first and it’s like a weird red wrinkle), the crease of my chin, and a little V under my eye. Then I blend together with the smaller end of my beauty blender. The nose doesn’t last forever, but this is far better than any other makeup I’ve used so far, when it comes to makeup sliding off. 

Step six: Setting Powder!

I rarely experiment with powder. What I’ll suggest is to get a really, really big powder brush but then don’t brush it on-- kinda blot it on obnoxiously. Like, pat pat pat with the brush. This seems to work better for me. For oily skin, I would still suggest Rimmel London translucent stay-matte setting power. It’s my go-to drugstore brand, but, like I said, I don’t really experiment much here. However, I doubt it’s the end-all-be-all for powder, so here’s a link for best setting powders at various price ranges. Many people swear by Laura Mercier, Make Up For Ever, and L'oreal Paris, which all come in at different prices. Experimenting here is my September makeup goal.  

Step seven: Setting spray!

This is a must for anyone with oily skin. Sorry, girls, but we gotta do it. Last time I made this post, I was swearing by Model In A Bottle, which is okay, but I’ve come to realize that it’s not the best. The best of the best is Make Up For Ever Mist & Fix Setting Spray. It is everything to me. I don’t love the way Lock-It smells, and then I spray the Mist & Fix over it and I’m like “wow I smell delicious.” I had to go to multiple Sephoras to get it because it is always sold out. But I am officially Make Up For Ever’s bitch. 

Step eight: Skincare!

Okay, I know. This is the most boring part ever. But let’s talk skin care for people with oily, sensitive, or red-prone skin. Hi, friends. I am all of you. 

Here’s what I’m using right now: 

Boscia Makeup-Breakup Cool Cleansing Oil

You put it on your skin and it takes off all your makeup, then you splash water on it and it becomes a cleanser. If you put it on your eyes and scrub, yes, it will take off even the toughest mascaras. 

Ren Evercalm Cleansing Milk

Daily, just a gentle cleanser. 

Ren Evercalm Ultra Comforting Rescue Mask

A few times a week, 10 to 15 mins. Or use it when your face is a total disaster, like post-period, if you’re a person who gets a period. 

Ole Henriksen Balancing Force Oil Control Toner 

Daily, toner that tackles discoloration and oily skin

Neogen Dermalogy Bio-Peel Gauze Peeling - Lemon

Little double sides cleansing pads, two or three times a week. There’s a soft side and an exfoliating side. The lemon juice is meant to lighten, brighten, and even out the skin. Then you wash it off and put your toner over it to complete your evening routine!

Now let’s talk about the elephant in the room: Money. I know this sounds really, really expensive... and it is. But don’t forget that these are not products that I buy each and every month. They last. I buy products in waves-- so I’m replenishing things probably once a month, but not the same things. I’ve been using my moisturizer, my makeup-breakup cleansing oil, and my bio-peel gauze since late-May and I haven’t had to replace them yet. The powder lasts 5ever. I’ve been using Lock-It for a month and I’m not even close to having to replace it. It’ll probably last me another month, if not longer, because I’m not even halfway through the bottle yet. The Make Up For Ever Mist & Fix will last me even longer-- the bottle is huge and it doesn’t go fast, which is why it’s pricier. 

Which is simply to say..... prioritize. You don’t have to spend all this money at once. God knows I wouldn’t. For me, the foundation, concealer, and setting spray are the three most important things. If you go to sephora, they’ll tell you that the skin care stuff is what you need to get your hands on first. As for primers, Rimmel London is drugstore and has never failed me, I buy cheap-ass blush and highlighter, you could probably get a temp-moisturizer and wait to get a more expensive one. If you were to go to Sephora or Ulta and tell them your price range for a certain item, someone would be able to help you find what you’re looking for. There’s a wide range of prices for makeup. Ulta is drugstore-to-middle and Sephora is middle-to-high-end, product-wise

Plus, these products are sometimes less money in other places. Check Ulta, Sephora, Amazon, Target, and CVS before buying a product. The higher-end stuff, you won’t find at Target or CVS, and there’s some stuff that’s a little more exclusive to Sephora so you won’t even be able to find it at Ulta, but basically all of these products can be found on Amazon (sometimes more expensive, sometimes less) and a bunch can be found in drugstores. Shop around for the best price! Sometimes the price difference is actually really big.

And don’t forget, everyone’s skin is different. There are products that might work for me that might not work for you and vice versa. Everybody’s skin has different quirks and evilness. Figure out how to take care of yours if it’s something you care about. Good luck, and if you have any questions, feel free to ask! Okay, I have officially older-sistered you. 

[dreamin-of-somewhere-else]

I’m Sorry, It’s Just a Memory

Charaters: Dean, Sam, younger sister!reader. (Kinda Sam’s POV)

Words: About 2000

[Angst, Character Death.]

A/N: So, I’ve been having a writer’s block, honestly, besides just being busy. But, I scrolled through this document that I write my stuff in before posting it, and found this unfinished piece. So, yeah, it sparked my inspiration, and even though I wasn’t really in an angst mood when I found it, it was angst I had in mind when I started, so that is what this is. Angst. A lot of it. Also, this is could be anytime, it’s not a specific season. The reason Sam looks like he did in like season two is only because it was a pretty gif :)

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”(Y/N), I could’ve been at the bar right now, talking to a beautiful woman. And then later we could’ve—”

”Dean, stop being such a party pooper and shut up, please? We’re almost there.”

Your voices feels like a warm blanket over Sam. So familiar and comforting.

Because, you and Dean are everything he has. You’re home to him, the two people he loves most in the whole wide world. You three siblings are probably the greatest love story of Sam’s life, platonically of course. It’s awkward to think about and he would never say it out loud, but he knows deep down that it’s the truth. Because who else would it be? Jess? Sam loved that girl with his whole heart, but he knows now that if it came down to it and he had to choose — it would be you and Dean. He knows because he’s had that nightmare several times, and he knows the answer now.

You and Dean are bickering, as usual. But in some weird way, that just adds to the whole feeling of familiarity. Sam smiles to himself, as he lightly shakes his head.

The three of you are walking through the forest, up a steep hill. It’s dark out and it’s starting to get chilly — your breaths already coming out as little clouds of mist. And for a moment Sam wonders why on earth you are walking through the forest. Without your guns up and ready. With smiles on your faces and your hearts light and free and for once not heavy. Instead, you’re cheeks are rosy and your eyes bright. You’re happy.

And no matter how much Sam appreciates that, he still feels like something’s wrong. Why are you even there? Shouldn’t you be hunting? Something is nagging in the back of his mind, just waiting to be remembered and ruin the whole carefree atmosphere with stress and anxiety.

So, Sam pushes the thoughts away for now. He needs this little moment, to breath, to smile and maybe even laugh, because he hasn’t done that in a while. He needs a break, and now he has a chance to take one, even if it’s just for a little moment. So Sam closes his eyes just for a moment, rolling his shoulders back, stretching them until he lets them drop, relaxing. He listens to the light wailing of the wind brushing through the treetops. He takes in the scent of forest, trees, cold and night. The air is fresh and crisp. And he hears the footfalls of his own and of you and Dean. It’s peaceful.

Sam’s eyes opens once again when Dean’s voice break the silence.

”How far is it left? This is a workout.”

”No need to whine anymore, Deano.” You declare contently as you come to a stop. You’ve been walking first and now you looked over your shoulder at Sam and Dean with a grin on your face. ”We’re here.”

Sam and Dean looks at each other and climb the last bit of the hill, and the view that greets them is actually quite breathtaking. Even Dean is stunned.

From the hill, you can see all over town. The houses, the streets, the cars, the football fields, the forest surrounding it, and then, the mountains. Now, since it’s late in the evening, you can only see the lights. A network of golden yellow electrical lights, and Sam can tell where everything is placed by the pattern of it. Everything looks so small. Sam knows thousands of people, each with their own little complicated lives, live there, but it’s just really a small, little town in the whole wide world. The shadows of the towering mountains makes the community look even smaller. So does the spectrum of glistening stars scattered across the midnight blue sky.

”Wow.” Dean utters, mostly to himself. His moss green eyes scanner the whole view, taking notice to the details.

Sam nods agreeably. ”It’s beautiful.” He murmurs.

You laugh a little. ”I told you.”

It’s a reminder. That if these people’s lives — and frankly, their whole world — are so small, if one should be honest, then so was his. All the crap that goes on in Sam’s, Dean’s and your lives, it’s not everything. Somewhere, someone lives blissfully unaware of everything bad here. It’s not insignificant, but it’s a reminder. That it doesn’t have to be this way. It’s not everything.

But then, Sam takes his gaze away from the view and looks at something else instead — you and Dean.

Right now, you’re all happy. It’s been a long time since a moment like this. Sam notices how young you, his beloved siblings, look. With bright eyes and pearly white smiles that light up your faces. How young you look, when the chaos of the world isn’t weighing down your shoulders — even if it’s just for a moment. Because even though a lot of people are blissfully unaware of the pain you’ve been going through, sometimes it affects them too. And if you three can’t stop what’s about to happen, it might as well do. Who knows how many in this little town are alive just because you three exist and do what you do.

But anyway, don’t think about that right now, Sam. He focuses on you and Dean again and that’s when he catches you looking up at him. Your eyes are glistening and holds that special little glimpse that they’ve always had. The famous (or sometimes more like infamous) (Y/N)-glimpse. On your lips a mischievous little smile plays. You look so happy.

Sam smiles back, his dimples showing. But then, his eyebrows knot as he frowns a little.

”I thought we lost you.” He says to his own surprise. He doesn’t even know where the statement comes from, why would he say that?

He did say it though and now he’s waiting for your answer. He quickly glances out over the view, looking out over all of its lights. And then images of other lights suddenly penetrates his mind.

The lights are so bright that it hurts. Sam’s heart jolts with fear, and for just a split second he feels numb — like he’s outside of his own body. Like he can’t control his own limbs. ”Sam, watch out!” Your horrified screams reaches his ears and he slams on the breaks as he quickly turn the wheel, away from the truck heading straight towards the Impala. Screeching tires. Losing control. Horns blaring. Getting thrown around inside the car. Coming to a sudden, harsh stop. A deafening noise, pain and then blackness.

Sam blinks, and once he’s returned to the moment, and he has realized that he’s in fact back on top of the mountain with you and Dean again — you’ve moved closer, now standing right in front of him. You tilt your head upwards, looking up at Sam. Your pretty, soulful eyes stare right into Sam’s and they provide that comforting, reassuring warmth in Sam’s chest as they always have.

You bring up a hand and place it on Sam’s cheek. Sam leans his head into it. The corner of your lips curl into a small, gentle little smile. ”But you did.”

At first Sam doesn’t know what you mean. But then he remembers his own words. I thought we lost you.

His thoughts are suddenly shattered by a bloodcurdling scream. It’s loud and Sam’s heart clenches painfully as he realizes that it’s his older brother’s. Sam’s eyes race to Dean, and you quickly turn your head around, facing him, your hair whipping around with it.

But Dean is watching the stars, calmness across his features. He’s happy, content and relaxed, and Sam can’t connect the dots until he gasps awake.

Hands are wrapped around his arms, pulling him away from… what exactly? Sam’s so confused and it takes a few seconds for him to return fully to consciousness and realize that Dean is in fact screaming.

Two men, dressed in light blue scrubs, are holding his older brother back, and Dean’s just frantically howling. He’s more distressed than Sam thinks he’s ever seen him. Tears are escaping his eyes that are filled with endless fear that Sam never wanted to see in them. The eldest Winchester looks beaten up. He has dried blood in his dark blond hair, and his right cheek bone is decorated with dark purple. Something tells Sam that Dean probably has more injuries hidden underneath his jeans, dark t-shirt and leather jacket.

Sam’s brain continues to process the situation as the hands pull him up from the chair he apparently has been sitting in — sleeping, dreaming. Dreadfully, he looks down in front of him — and there are you.

His eyes widen as they latch onto your almost translucent skin. The dark bruising over it. The bandages around your head. The way your eyes are closed, your long eyelashes perfectly feathered out. The way your hair is laid out over your shoulders and chest, without its usual sheen and with streaks of red tainting some strands. The way your lips are tinted blue. All the tubes and wires connected to you. The way stressed hands of doctors begin working on you. The way you look so small, so young, so broken… and dead.

The beeping of the heart monitor flatlining reaches his ears. No.

Dean has already been shoved out of the room when Sam’s on his feet, legs weak and wobbly, head throbbing painfully.

”Sir, please. We need you to leave to room so that we can help your sister.”

(Y/N). My little sister.

Sam absentmindedly nods and begins to walk with the nurses that was dragging him towards the exit, where Dean stood, hands carded into and pulling his short hair, desperately watching the scene in front of him. The doctors working on you are exclaiming things he doesn’t want to hear.

Soon, Sam’s outside too, standing next to his older, shorter brother as both of them stand in the doorway, staring. Neither of them want to see, but they can’t look away. They physically just can’t.

And, it doesn’t feel real when the doctors tried the defibrillators for the third time, without result. It can’t be real when they call out ’time of death, 10.21 am.’

It has to be a dream. Dean’s crumbling besides him, yelling his heart out again, tears pouring. Sam feels numb. Like he can’t move. No. This isn’t happening.

Just a moment ago, you were fine. Happy, smiling, watching the stars. You had met Sam’s gaze and Sam had seen the spirited glimpse in your eyes. You had touched him.

Sam slowly reaches up his own hand and places it on his cheek, half expecting to find your smaller hand there, but it’s just his own skin.

No, you are lying still inside a hospital room as solemn and defeated doctors put away the defibrillators and all the other medical equipment, heads hanging low.

And then Sam catches Dean looking up at him, just like you had done by the viewpoint. But his eyes are filled with agony. He looks so confused, so scared, so lost, and so heartbroken. He doesn’t know what to do, and he looks at Sam, his little brother, for help. Dean looks at Sam for guidance, and Sam knows it’s really bad and so wrong.

Dean lets out a shuddering sob, and he’s about to fall to his knees, when Sam automatically open his arms. Dean stumbles into them, and they hug like they haven’t in a long time. Sam’s vision blurs and it takes a while to realize that it’s blurred with the stinging tears of a brokenhearted boy that just lost his little sister.

Meanwhile doctors are exciting the room, passing the pair of brothers. A couple of them step forward and apologizes, saying that they’re sorry for them. Sam doesn’t have the energy to be angry with them for not saving you.

Instead, he closes his hazel eyes and hides his face in Dean’s slightly trembling, leather clad shoulder. And then he let’s himself cry.

Your eyes are glossy as you look up at him. You’re back under the stars again, before Sam was forced out of his slumber and into reality. Back in the peaceful moment, and you are all there, you, Dean and Sam. You’re all happy, healthy and alive.

”I’m so sorry, Sammy.” You breath a shuddering breath. ”But you just lost me. This is just a memory.”

Worth mentioning is that I don’t know how this is how it would work in that hospital scene, I just winged it.

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