#also it was by complete coincidence that these panels went together so

[globalhint]

Maryanne Trump Barry, a retired judge and former President Trump's sister, dies at 86

Maryanne Trump Barry, a retired judge and former President Trump's sister, dies at 86. Maryanne Trump Barry, the eldest sister of former President Donald Trump and a retired federal judge, passed away at 86 in her New York residence. Barry served as a senior judge on the 3rd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, a subordinate court to the Supreme Court, until her retirement in 2019. According to the New York Police Department, when authorities arrived at Barry's Manhattan residence shortly before 4:30 a.m., they found an 86-year-old woman dead. It was unclear at first what caused the death. A court official who spoke on the condition of anonymity verified her death because neither the court nor Trump's family had made the announcement in the public eye. Trump's team did not immediately answer a request for the response, but the eldest son of the former president, Donald As he left a Manhattan courtroom on Monday, Trump Jr. said a few words about his aunt and mentioned that it had been a "rough day for myself and my family." After testifying in a civil fraud trial, Trump Jr. told reporters that he learned of the news as soon as he arrived at the courthouse on Monday morning. Her grandson and I have a good relationship. We spend so much time together. It's evidently a difficult day for that, he continued. Ronald Reagan, the former president, nominated Barry to the federal court in New Jersey in 1974, and he went on to become an Assistant U.S. Attorney before becoming a judge. Later on, she was promoted by former President Bill Clinton to the U.S. Court of Appeals. 2019 saw her retire amid an inquiry into the tax practices of her family. Ivana Trump's "beautiful life" is remembered by Donald Trump on the day of her funeral. Ivana Trump's "beautiful life" is remembered by Donald Trump on the day of her funeral. Barry had mostly avoided the spotlight during her brother's presidency, but she made news when her niece, Mary Trump, disclosed that she had videotaped her aunt in secret while promoting a book critical of the outgoing president. Throughout the recordings, Barry was heard disparaging her brother harshly, claiming the former president "has no principles" and is "cruel." Barry stated in a 2006 immigration case that courts had insufficient discretion in determining who should be allowed to stay in the United States due to strict laws that were in place years before her brother was elected president. compelling "knee-jerk" judgments. The case concerned Malachy McAllister, a man from Northern Ireland, who was refused refuge by the panel in the 3rd Circuit, which she sat on. Barry called for federal intervention in this case. I do not think that the old plea, 'Give me your tired, your hungry, your huddled masses longing to breathe free...' is any longer sincere. Barry remarked, "But if it is, shame on us," alleging that McAllister's acts coincided with the Irish's desire to overthrow more than eight centuries of British domination. Former paramilitary Irish National Liberation Army member McAllister was found guilty in the 1981 wounding of a British police officer. Barry's sharp sense of humour was also well-known; this was demonstrated in a 2015 dispute about fan access to NFL game passes. Barry's colleagues quipped that the pope was completely ignoring New Jersey when the NFL equated the allocation policy to Catholic parishes receiving a bountiful amount of tickets to see him in Philadelphia. "We're not used to it," joked Barry. Trump has one surviving sibling, his sister Elizabeth Trump Grau. He was one of five children. Following the death of his younger brother, Robert Trump, at the age of 71 in 2020, the former president hosted a memorial service at the White House. At the age of 42, Fred Trump Jr., his elder brother, passed away from a heart attack, which the family attributed to drunkenness. In 2022, Ivana Trump, the ex-wife of Donald Trump, passed away at the age of 73. SEE ALSO: Trump calls the Imprisoned US. Capitol protesters ‘hostages’ Read the full article

[riocakes]

✨ 💎 ✨

[hamliet]

Dabi’s Missing Heart

So I’ve been seeing two main responses to Dabi’s character as portrayed in BNHA 292, both of which I feel touch on a very surface understanding of his character and role in the story despite seeming like opposite takes.  

Take #1: 

Dabi is an unfeeling monster created to show the redeemability of Shigaraki and Enji in contrast with his true eeeevil villainy! He will never be redeemed! 

Take #2: 

Dabi is a sweet softy who did nothing wrong! He will never be redeemed because of this chapter which is so out-of-character! 

Note how they both have the same endpoint. I’m not actually gonna address the redemption question much because I can’t fathom what this panel foreshadows if not Touya’s salvation (alive): 

I’m not looking to debate this either; I’m just putting it here because I know it’ll come up if I don’t.

Instead, I wanna address Dabi’s character. He’s my favorite, and I’ve been asked a few different times whether I enjoy him as a villain or as an uwu poor baby, and my answer is always both. 

Dabi is a villain. This chapter’s rampage is, in my opinion, not remotely out of character for him. But neither is it the summation of his character, and he surely is not meant to make Enji look good by comparison. 

So, who is Dabi? 

Dabi is kind of a flaming jerk, and that’s why I like him. He’s an abuse victim who gets to be angry and crass and sharp. He pushes people away because he doesn’t want to open up to them and get burned (heh). He’s just like Shouto in that, except with a dose of murder. 

Believe it or not, this is a very realistic response to abuse, and very common too. It’s good to see that representation. If the writing was indeed just “he’s bad get rid of him,” well, that would of course be a terrible representation. But seeing a mean victim get redeemed? Now that’s some good sh*t I’m here for. 

If you want a sweethearted, misunderstood soft victim, there is one in MHA, and that’s Shigaraki. Dabi is not these things, but that does not mean he’s not a victim or that he’s somehow an unfeeling monster.

You see, Shigaraki is a heart character. Dabi’s the mind. (Heart and mind characters are a literary pattern that is utilized in literature across the globe; it’s not an eastern/western cultural thing. It has its roots in alchemy.) The problem is that you can’t have a heart without a mind nor a mind without a heart. If you lack one, you’re missing half the picture, and you won’t accomplish anything. 

We see this with Shigaraki in his quest to look for ideals, something to believe in, purpose to justify/enable acting on his feelings/emotions. 

Dabi, in contrast, has conviction and ideals, but eschews any kind of personal connection and care. 

So, both Shigaraki and Dabi struggle to unite heart and mind--but they need to do precisely this. 

It’s not a coincidence that Shigaraki expressly envisions both Dabi and Himiko when musing on what his purpose is. 

Yet Shigaraki is able to unite more easily with Himiko as opposed to Dabi because Himiko is also a heart character. She claims to be motivated by extreme empathy that warps around to become a lack thereof (wanting to be who she loves).

Shigaraki’s motivations are basically revenge for hero society not saving him--which encompasses both a deep internal and external (societal) need for empathy and a need for better ideals. Shigaraki needs Himiko and Dabi. They’re a trio, and all of them need each other to grow. But Himiko, being similarly driven expressly by emotions, is easier for Shigaraki to understand and work with. 

The irony is that Dabi is actually a very, very emotional character as well. But what he does (as is typical for a mind character) is repress them, compartmentalize, dissociate. He constantly pushes people away, yet admits privately, to himself, that he’s primarily (and paradoxically) motivated by family. This is emotional, yet Dabi claims he “overthought” and, according to other translations, “snapped” can be actually be read as “went crazy” as a result over overthinking (note: both are mind allusions). 

Dabi repressing who he is--Todoroki Touya--is symbolic of him repressing his emotional side, because again, family and emotions are tied together for his character. Now his identity is acknowledged, and Dabi claims to be losing his mind (again), claims that he can’t feel, and yet is completely consumed by emotions. Like, does anyone think he’s being methodical and calculating this chapter? 

It’s not just negative emotions (rage, hate) that drive Dabi in response to his family. His seeking belonging and emotional connection is present even in a chapter where he tries to murder two members of his family and laughs off the risk to the life of another. 

See, Dabi first asked Shouto to validate his pain:

But like, given the circumstances, of course Shouto doesn’t really respond well. How Shouto responds is this: 

Shouto’s words are triggering. And keep in mind I am not blaming Shouto: he’s in shock and he’s a kid. I’m merely trying to explain how it likely comes across to Dabi. 

You’re crazy. Your feelings don’t matter. You don’t really care about Natsuo! You’re a villain and that’s ALL you are. Not a brother or abuse survivor. Just a villain. 

So, uh, yeah, Dabi then retreats back to being unable to feel, dissociating as has always been his coping mechanism. But that’s not all: Dabi’s been repressing for so long that of course he’s gonna go a little insane in response to the dismissal of everything he’s trying to point out. Why wouldn’t he? His family dismissed his pain back then and now again, and so, without that heart, without those emotions, principle is all Dabi has. This has been present since long before Stain’s ideology came into his life: 

Now, he answers this question of existence through Stain’s ideology.  Purpose is all he has, and to him, Shouto and Best Jeanist are dismissing that too. Why are they dismissing it? Best Jeanist dismisses him for an ideal: the overall good of hero society. Shouto has a mixture of this ideal and also like, genuine shock and pain. 

Back to Dabi. Dabi’s summation of himself and his purpose is incorrect and harmful to himself and others. I’m not excusing him or justifying, just explaining. It’s a tragic reflection of what Endeavor raised both Touya and Shouto to be (and thereby ironic that BJ uses an ideal to dismiss him): 

Instead of being raised to be the symbol of hero society--as Endeavor intended--he exists to destroy it. The root is the same: Dabi assumes he exists for hero society, as a tool. He dehumanizes himself, hence why his quirk physically harms him (which also fits his almost religious zeal for Stain’s ideology). But it is not all Dabi is. He’s not a tool, he’s a person, but to acknowledge he’s a person involves acknowledging his heart/emotional desires, and that gets to my next point.

Dabi’s not a reliable narrator about himself. At all. I’ve written about Dabi and dissociation before. So let’s look at Dabi’s devotion to his ideals, the ideals he puts above people and claims he only cares about... because there are moments where Dabi goes against those ideals. 

For one example, Dabi’s gone against those ideals when he’s allowed his personal need for revenge (an emotional/heart motivation) to overcome his longterm plan. Like, he was fully about to get himself killed here, even though that would likely mean no one would know the corruption of the Todoroki family and hero society, just for the chance to prove to his father that he hurt him. 

In addition, I’ve talked before about how Dabi’s the only character in the entire damn manga to comment that maybe using child soldiers is not okay. While it’s not explicitly stated, it’s reasonable to conclude that Dabi considers the abuse of children in hero training a sin of hero society that ought to be purged (hence, part of his ideals). 

That said, I have also pointed out that Dabi has gone after children in the past when it benefits his mission (Bakugou would like a word). So let’s look at four examples of Dabi and his principles concerning kids--since, after all, he claims to be motivated by heroes who hurt kids. 

Firstly, Dabi’s “save the cat” when he spared Aoyama. 

Why did he spare Aoyama? We can only speculate, but it seems quite likely there are two reasons: 1) hurting Aoyama would not add anything to his overall goal of downing hero society, and 2) a terrified, cowering kid might just have been a teeny bit familiar to Dabi. Here, his ideals--destroying hero society--either take a backseat to a reflection of his personal pain (and)/or his ideal of not abusing kids directly contradicted his ideal of bringing down hero society. But the important part is that in this instance, Dabi chose mercy and the goal of bringing down hero society was jeopardized as a result. 

So then why did he attack Tokoyami, Nejire, and Shouto this arc? Well, Dabi does things he knows are wrong for the sake of accomplishing his overall purpose. He does things he knows hurt himself for this purpose. This isn’t new. If he can’t be acknowledged, can’t exist as a person with emotions, then he at least will ensure he still has a purpose.  

In addition, let’s look at what sets Dabi off in all of these instances. (Again, this isn’t me saying “well actually Dabi’s justified.” He’s not. I’m just pointing to what’s in the text to explain the machinations beyond “bad guy do bad.”)

Dabi tries to reason with Tokoyami, pointing out that Twice was doing essentially what Tokoyami is doing: trying to save his friend(s), but Tokoyami doesn’t listen (also again: not me saying Tokoyami should have listened--realistically, in this situation, it makes sense Tokoyami trusted his mentor!)

Only after his reasoning was rejected did Dabi go to flames mode. He could have just let Tokoyami save Hawks, but instead he really wanted to kill Hawks and that overrode his other principles. Was this just because of his furthering his goal--killing the #2 hero would help destroy hero society--or because of a sense of personal revenge for Twice? That’s open for interpretation (in my opinion, it’s likely a mixture, because again, it tends to intertwine more than Dabi likes to think it does). His principles and/or emotions are brushed aside, and Dabi Does Not Like That. 

Dabi does this again with Shouto this chapter, asking him where he stands on their family issues, and gets brushed aside, and then Shouto goes into his rage mode and Dabi responds. Again, not saying Shouto is rational here or that he should side with Dabi’s murderous plan, but like, his words really don’t come across well to Dabi. 

Dabi going after Shouto after explaining things, asking Shouto for help, and then having his pain dismissed is pretty much a repeat of Tokoyami. When Dabi’s pain is dismissed, he says fine, let’s aim for the highest principle possible: making Stain’s will a reality, and damn any emotional ties. 

Dabi’s obsession with ideals, you might say, is a smokescreen to cover his own pain. Far from feeling nothing, he feels very deeply. (I promise I’m getting to Nejire.) 

So what does this indicate? Well, that Dabi does have a heart and a conscience. But when he lets his heart act, when his heart reaches out, he gets burned. His heart jeopardizes his overall purpose, so he most often dissociates himself from it. But by pretending he doesn’t have a heart, he dehumanizes himself, and he projects that dehumanization onto others (see: seeing Shouto as an extension of Endeavor, when that’s actually the precise image Shouto is trying to shed). 

It’s not a coincidence that Shigaraki has been unconscious during the entire confrontation with Endeavor, nor is it a coincidence that Himiko has been MIA. But, Shigaraki wakes up a bit this chapter not only when hearing Dabi spout about how hero society needs to burn, an ideal/the thing Shigaraki lacks, and through a less important but still-ideal-driven character in Spinner asking him to accomplish his supposed ideal of destruction, but when Dabi saves Shigaraki and Spinner. 

Dabi doesn’t burn Nejire for lols (not that this makes it better because it doesn’t) or even for ideals. He burns her to save Shigaraki and Spinner, because they are his links to full humanity right now. 

(Again, this is also dissociation and projection: Endeavor did this! No, Dabi, you did. You’re perpetuating violence against kids rather than stopping it.)

But anyways, when Dabi calls upon heart, Shigaraki wakes. He lends Gigantomachia and thereby Dabi and the league power. 

Dabi can only grow and actually accomplish anything related to his ideals (fixing hero society) through accepting a heart--even though that will likely mean some painful surgery to shift his ideals to accommodate said heart, because pure ideals don’t leave much room for humanity. He needs to feel to actually change anything, because right now he’s just making things worse (hence, the need for saving and redemption).

I know the League aren’t the protagonists of the serIes, but their complaints aren’t exactly incorrect either (if anything they’re almost a little too valid). But through growing together, Dabi, Shigaraki, and Himiko might actually be able to accomplish something, and get themselves in a place where they can be reached and saved by Shouto, Deku, and Ochaco. Because to be saved, the kids will have to acknowledge the villains’ pain and complaints, and do something about it. 

[ootahime]

analyzing every gojohime moment in the manga p2

part 1 is here :3

this post includes more excruciatingly long paragraphs so grab urself something and enjoy LOL

chapter 40 

i know they’re not interacting in this panel but i still want to bring it up.  i’m gonna give some context to this scene in case someone needs to jog their memory.  so basically, mei’s ability to command crows is what allows the staff to observe the students from afar.  however, gojo notices that there’s lack of footage where yuuji is and asks mei why that’s so.  she tells him that they’re animals at the end of the day so she can’t control what they look at.  he doesn’t believe her so he asks her whose side she’s on (for yuuji’s execution vs against yuuji’s execution) to which she responds with, “whose side?  i’m on the side with money, of course.  there’s no value in something that can’t be bought since you can’t exchange that for money.”  in other words, she’ll always choose the side that offers her more money because she doesn’t care about how morally “correct” or “incorrect” something is.  it’s not worth fighting for a cause that doesn’t benefit her in the long run which is why she views things that are unable to be bought (friendships, relationships, favors) as useless - they can’t be exchanged for money.  it’s clear that gojo knows she’s not on his side because he replies with, “spoken from experience!” or “i wonder how much!” (translation varies).  he says it out loud to perhaps let gakuganji know that he’s onto him.  i find it interesting how utahime is in the panel as well with a “?” to express her confusion at his words.  let’s overthink dissect that.  why is she there in the first place? if the message was to let gakuganji know that gojo is aware of his ulterior motives then a panel with gakuganji and gojo would have sufficed.  why add utahime with a question mark? 

here’s a personal headcanon of mine that makes no absolute sense, but who cares? it makes me happy LOL.  so let’s examine the panel.  gojo’s face is more simplified and cartoonish with a grey background on top and some sort of white bubble surrounding the three characters.  gakuganji is staring at utahime and gojo.  in the official viz translation, he replies to mei with, “i wonder how much!”  

normal and logical explanation: shading the principal by asking out loud how much mei was paid by him to avoid monitoring yuuji.

gojohime brainrot explanation: 

mei: “there’s no value in something that can’t be bought since you can’t exchange that for money”

gojo: (in response) i wonder how much utahime’s love would cost if it did have a price.

utahime: ?

you’re probably thinking i’m delulu (true) BUT HEAR ME OUT.  IT WOULD SOMEWHAT MAKE SENSE IN THIS CONTEXT...

mei’s saying seems to be what she lives by.  relationships, love, friendships, etc. do not matter to her as this is evident when she ultimately abandons everyone in shibuya to escape to malaysia, selling all her stocks before japan’s economy goes down.  she doesn’t care about anyone else.  she even takes advantage of ui ui’s adoration for her.  she contrasts utahime.  utahime is loved by her students.  children, especially teenagers, are picky when it comes to choosing the adults they admire and respect.  while everyone trusts gojo, they do not respect him because of his childishness and overall absurdity.  it’s refreshing to see how they always call him an idiot or have a -_- face when he’s around.  when akutami says everyone absolutely adores utahime-sensei, it says a lot.  we haven’t seen her interact with her students all that much, but she’s obviously close to them because she’s frequently arguing with momo.  even a closed off person like mechamaru wanted to keep her away from danger.  she most certainly expresses a lot of concern and care for her students, and gojo and her students can pick up on this. 

i’ve talked about this in every post LOLOL but there’s a reason why he went to utahime first to help him investigate.  utahime is a loyal person through and through.  she would never do something that harms the students even if she was offered everything in the world.  she values relationships above everything else.  besides her concern for the students, how else was i able to come to this conclusion about her character?  well, she got shoko to stop smoking because she was worried about how it might damage her friend’s health.  from these two details, it’s obvious that she’s the complete opposite of mei.  

maybe that’s why he calls her weak.  she’s too selfless and compassionate in a world where every sorcerer is for themselves.  the world is cruel as a sorcerer.  no matter how hard you try to fight, in the end, you’ll always die alone.  remember his talk with megumi after the baseball game?  after witnessing megumi pull a sacrificial bunt to help his teammates advance, gojo has a talk with megumi about his attitude and potential.  he says that being selfless and caring about others is not a bad thing, but in a world like this, where people always die alone, he is wasting his potential by being concerned with others.  it’s okay to be selfish.  this is why we see fierce independence in a lot of the sorcerers like mei, nanami, and gojo.  they each have their own reasons as to why they work alone, but it’s still a common characteristic.  i feel like utahime doesn’t have a selfish bone in her body.  i speculate that her selflessness is the exact reason why she is being held back.  during her mission to exorcise a grade 1 spirit by herself, the final task before being promoted to grade 1, she likely got distracted trying to help civilians out of danger and failed her mission.  he’s right when he says she doesn’t have the guts to be the traitor, utahime doesn’t have it in her to do something so boldly solely for her own benefit.  

after this long tangent, how does this relate to your headcanon, ootahime?  

as you know, love is not transactional.  you can’t pay someone to love you.  what if gojo is asking himself how much it would cost to buy her love.  hence, her confusion because she is oblivious to what he really means.  it could be probable because gakuganji is observing not only gojo, but utahime as well.  so what gojo says must involve her too, right?  

or she could just be confused because his words seem out of place because she is unaware of what gakuganji is doing behind everyone’s back.  that explanation makes sense for viz’s official translation but it doesn’t make sense when he says, “spoken from experience!” because his words make sense in that context.  he’s basically saying that mei’s beliefs must be based on her past experiences so he understands why she feels this way.  that’s an appropriate response to mei’s statement so i don’t see why utahime would be confused by this.  unless i’m interpreting this whole scene completely wrong.  in that case, whoopsies!  

let me know if you’re confused because i’m willing to clarify.  idk why but i found this really difficult to explain.  maybe because i’m reaching so hard haha

chapter 40

he finds any way he can to tease her.  they seem like a married couple watching a movie or something.  does he take pride in being the only person she doesn’t get along with?  i mean, she says it herself so he is aware she thinks he’s annoying, but he keeps picking on her anyway.  he doesn’t even pick on his enemies this much LMAOOO i think the only other person he likes to make fun of is gakuganji but he does so because he doesn’t agree with his views.  with utahime it’s different.  he trusts her a lot and even looks out for her.  

chapter 44

why are there two separate instances of gakuganji observing utahime and gojo’s interactions from afar?  nah i’m just playing.  he’s just looking because he’s concerned she’ll run into the semi-grade 1 curse he had for yuuji.  OKAY BUT I NOTICED SOMETHING KINDA CUTE?  whenever utahime says something suddenly, he always has those 3 little triangles near his head.  it’s like he’s thinking, “oh!  utahime is speaking, i must listen <3″  look at his face too.  he’s looking at her like :O

this is also an example of her showcasing her concern for the students in front of gojo.  i feel like he questions why she’s so caring because if it were him, he would have left the student to figure it out themselves.  i really wonder how she would react if he answered her truthfully when she asked what he’d do if she were the traitor.  

chapter 45

there’s not much to say here...they’re just cute.  i know it’ll never happen but i’d like to see them fight side by side one day.  i’m aware that gojo works best alone but i just want to see how they’d work together, okay? 😔

chapter 45

see the little triangles on his head again?  UGH SO CUTE.  

chapter 45

IS THIS NOT INTENTIONAL???  they share the same thoughts.  he even finished her thought.  mannnnnnnnnnnnn what is akutami doing?  giving us false hope and stripping it away just for fun?  making them work so well together for what??

chapter 52

cute how he looks out for her.  i have nothing more to say LOL

chapter 53

notice how they’re sitting across from each other?  HEHE

chapter 53

yet another instance of her caring for her students in front of gojo.  in the anime she has the cutest expression when she says she’s glad the students are safe.  i bet gojo saw that too.  i also bet that she looks prettier from his point of view.

extra

from the manga and light novels, gojo and utahime are the ones that talk about sports the most.  he most definitely chose baseball to cheer her up.  it’s not a coincidence people!  

--

i feel like i had a lot more to say but i completely lost my train of thought while writing this, especially with chapter 40. i’m once again writing this at 4 in the morning LOL........  please please please add on or share your thoughts!  thank you for reading and sorry for any mistakes.  

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 287: Family Reunion

Previously on BnHA: The Tomura For One VS Deku And Pals clusterfuck reached new levels of clustfuckery as AFO possessed Tomura’s body and stabbed Kacchan and Endeavor. Shouto was all “good thing I leveled up offscreen so as to be able to fly around whilst carrying 400lbs worth of people”, and did just that and it was like, damn, son. Meanwhile Deku’s rage went Mach 100, and he kicked Tomura’s ass for almost two whole seconds, but in the process he apparently forgot that IF TOMURA TOUCHES HIM THAT IS VERY BAD, and so he stupidly let Tomura touch him and Tomura was all “GAME, SET.” Fortunately for Deku, his quirk plays by its own rules, and so the chapter ended with us cutting to the METAPHYSICAL OFA/AFO PARANORMAL DREAMSCAPE OF MYSTICAL BULLSHIT, where AFO!Vestige was all “lol Tomura y u mad”, and Nana!Vestige was all “SUP DEKU, YOU’RE JUST IN TIME, LOOKS LIKE IT’S ASSKICKING O’CLOCK.” I’m paraphrasing a bit, but that’s more or less the gist of it.

Today on BnHA: AFO is all “well if it isn’t Tomura’s grandmother who I murdered that one time”, and Deku is all “?”, and AFO is all “fucking vestiges, man, wild”, and Deku is all “??”, and AFO is all “ANYWAYS GETTIM TOMURA”, and OFA is all “NOT SO FAST”, and Deku is all “???”, and really, same. AFO then goes off on some wild tangent about how Deku is unworthy because he couldn’t protect everyone and needed help from OFA and got mad about his friends being stabbed, which is such a cold take it gave me hypothermia, but it ends up not mattering since Deku and Tomura both wake up seconds later with OFA still in the possession of its rightful owner, HOW ABOUT THAT. The chapter ends with the LoV approaching on Gigantomachia’s back with Dabi practically salivating at the mouth, and Toga trying to reignite an old fandom blood feud. Toga why would you do this to me. Toga.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS

[CROWD LOSING THEIR MINDS] FINALLY THE NANA HAS COME BACK TO BNHA!! IF YA SMELLLLL WHAT THE NANA IS COOKIN!!!!! [RINGSIDE BELL CHIMING WILDLY] [LOUD AIRHORN NOISES]

“chapter 287: mistake” omg. yeah I’ll say you made a mistake, AFO. I HOPE YOU ENJOY THESE FLEETING LAST MOMENTS OF YOUR SHITTY EVIL LIFE

(ETA: so in all seriousness this must be referring to AFO’s belief that All Might/OFA made a mistake in choosing Deku, right? “I can’t believe you went and chose this shounen manga protagonist as your champion, what were you thinking.” I’ll just put this out there: however many comic books AFO read as a child, it clearly was not enough.)

wow Deku how slow are you

yes you’re inside OFA you dimbulb, did you think your clothes suddenly vanished out of the blue and the ghost of Nana just randomly appeared in the real world by some freak coincidence?? can you believe this kid. breaks his arms a measly 10-15 times in a row and all of a sudden he can’t think straight, get it together Deku

but also brb having a moment at the fact that his thoughts immediately run back to Kacchan, even with all of this nonsense going on and Nana about to lay the beatdown on AFO’s potato-lookin’ ass. forget that noise, all he wants to know is whether or not Kacchan is all right. fuckin’ geez. AM I OVERREACTING HERE A BIT. probably

(ETA: ALSO!! the way he just trails off!! “Kacchan is...” and then he can’t bring himself to complete the thought. oh my god my heart.)

HOLY SHIT

okay,

damn but this man sure knows how to ruffle my feathers. as eminently detestable as ever!!

could it be any clearer here that AFO is not on Tomura’s side?? for a moment I thought he had actually grabbed him by the back of the head in order to get him to look. but nope, he’s just resting his pointing hand on top of his head instead while he’s all “HEY TOMURA LOL IT’S THE GHOST OF YOUR DEAD PATHETIC GRANDMA”

for those keeping track at home, this would be the first time that Deku has heard this information -- that Tomura is Nana’s grandson -- and possibly the first time Vestige!Nana has heard it as well. Nana died when Kotarou was still a child, so for all we know the Vestige!Nana didn’t even know she had a grandson, lol. TODAY ON “MAKESTE RANTS AT LENGTH ABOUT THINGS THAT WILL PROBABLY BE ADDRESSED WITHIN THE NEXT THREE PANELS”, anyway moving on

lmao for the record I fucking LOLed at this giant question mark immediately bubbling up over Deku’s head

no idea what AFO is about to ramble on about now, haven’t read that far yet. but let the record show that Deku’s immediate reaction to hearing “BTW NANA IS YOUR ARCHNEMESIS’S GRANDMA LULZ” is everything I could have hoped for

(ETA: fandom nailed the shit out of this one with the confused Mr. Krabs meme lmao.)

okay so now AFO is monologuing at length about how he would sometimes have “riveting dreams” about the previous owners of all the quirks he stole. but once he gave the quirks away they stopped bothering him?? holy moly let me just take all the notes

okay so he’s saying that Vestiges are created whenever someone has their quirk stolen by AFO. but if they then disappear when he gives the quirks away, does that also mean that whoever receives the quirks also gets the original owner’s Vestige bundled in every time?? that would be wild okay hold up let me read the rest of this

so he’s saying that the Vestiges are actually the “consciousnesses” of the original quirk owners, which have become embedded in their dna or something. SOUNDS INCREDIBLY DUBIOUS TO ME LOL but on the other hand this is a world where children can be born with airplane heads, so my disbelief can hardly afford to pick and choose what it’s gonna be suspended at! anyways though, how does he know he’s the only one who was able to converse with them? did you conduct detailed six-month follow-up interviews with everyone you gave quirks to or what

and if it really is the case that this ability was formerly exclusive to him, isn’t that more evidence than ever that OFA and AFO are actually THE EXACT SAME QUIRK oh whoops am I getting ahead of myself again, sorry

MEANWHILE TOMURA IS ALL, “GRANDMA?”

“WHY AM I HERE, WELL LET ME TELL YOU A STORY, GRANDSON. YOU SEE THAT MAN GROWING OUT OF YOUR RIBCAGE THERE? WELL IT’S JUST THE FUNNIEST THING, ACTUALLY”

WAIT SO IS HE SAYING THEY’RE SOULS OR NOT??

this makes it sound like they won’t ever get to rest, which sure sounds like a soul thing to me. well whatever, soul, consciousness, I guess it’s just semantics at the end of the day

anyways though, so this asshole is finally done talking (I’m sure that won’t last), so now we can finally have the heartwarming reunion we’ve all been waiting for

sigh

-- actually, no, not “sigh”!! you know what!! because Tomura says “whatever the reason”, but that’s only because he doesn’t actually have a fucking clue about the reason. like, I don’t know if the knowledge that AFO killed Nana would be enough to give him pause, but if he knew the whole story and knew that AFO was behind not only Nana’s death, but the rest of his family’s deaths as well... now that would be a whole different thing

anyway. but at least it’s becoming clearer now why AFO spent all that time raising Tomura up as his heir and brainwashing him even though he seems to have been planning this body takeover the whole time. it’s all because he loves making people miserable! yaaaaay

btw HAS NANA HAD THE EXACT SAME MOLE ON HER CHIN AS TOMURA THIS ENTIRE TIME WTF. am I just the least observant person who ever lived lmao

lol wtf

ground: [randomly starts exploding]

Deku: “ONE FOR ALL IS BEING ERODED!!!” LOL IS THAT WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE, OKAY THEN. I’ll take your word for it

y’all I cannot fucking get over this “AFO growing out of Tomura’s hip socket like a fucked-up ventriloquist dummy” shit though

you do realize that absolutely no one can take you seriously right now, right?? it’s important to me that you know this

WHAT’S THIS NOW

seems like SOMEONE has had it up to here with a certain SOMEONE ELSE’S bullshit lmaooo bye Felicia

I SAID GOOD DAY!!

you guys why is he not dying!!

-- OH DAMN

love how Deku is just lying there like “YOU KNOW THOSE DAYS WHERE YOU’RE LIKE, THIS MIGHT AS WELL HAPPEN.” poor Deku

(ETA: where in god’s name is OFA Prime standing. why are my thoughts fully consumed by this lmao.)

are Nana and OFA Prime even doing anything?? why are they sticking their arms out like that. wait hold up is this all a big metaphor for the back-and-forth going on between Tomura trying to steal OFA and OFA being all “actually no you can’t, please enter your password and click on all the boxes with bicycles in them to prove you’re a human first”?

OH SNAP OFA PRIME SAID NO THANKS

“SORRY BRO WE’VE ALREADY MADE OURSELVES AT HOME HERE”

I have only just noticed that metaphysical!Deku has the same scars as actual!Deku. and yet his arms are not currently broken! that doesn’t really seem consistent to me but whatever!! maybe he saved right before the boss battle, that would be smart of him

anyway, that’s great and all that OFA Prime is here helping out, but I really wanted to see Nana fight AFO in a one on one though so I’m a bit disappointed. also why is it only the two of them?? where are Banjou and the others. of all the times to be sleeping on the job

FOR FUCK’S SAKE, THIS MAN

WOULD YOU STOP. WOULD YOU JUST QUIT IT ALREADY

oh shit hold up

doesn’t this confirm that the reason he wanted to transfer his power to Tomura is because he believed it would make him strong enough to finally take OFA because of Quirk Singularity? jesus christ. and here he was so sure of himself. but it turns out he doesn’t actually know shit! you can’t just fucking take OFA like that ya dingdong that’s not how it works

(ETA: SO, A THOUGHT -- is there any sort of subtle hinting here in the way that he words this? “if your strength is combined with mine”, as opposed to “if my strength is combined with yours”? no idea if the admittedly-so-small-as-to-be-almost-inconsequential distinction between those two sentences exists in the original Japanese or not, but I find it very interesting that the English wording implies that he’s the one adding Tomura’s strength to his own, rather than vice versa.)

now he’s insulting Deku!!

excuse me sir WHO ASKED YOU anyway. and never mind that being consumed by an, AND I QUOTE, “unquenchable” rage is your protege’s whole THING, and that he also needed your help to avoid being burned to a crisp a short while ago. where do you get off I swear

(ETA: also just want to point out that in the panel before this one he says that he’s been “watching through Tomura”, which pretty much confirms that his consciousness or whatever is alive inside of him all the time. Tomura is definitely not getting rid of this guy any time soon.)

WOW

first he calls Kacchan useless, then he calls Deku a simpleton, and don’t even get me started with Nana. just, you guys. this man is just... a very, very rude man

NOW OFA IS ALL “THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT MAKES HIM SUCH A GOOD PROTAGNIST YOU BUTTMUNCH” AND OMG PREACH

“DESPITE HIS COMMON SENSE” sdfkllk my man he already has one brother roasting him, take it easy guy

AHH WHAT

IS THIS BACK IN THE REAL WORLD

YEP

hahaha nice try Tomura

so Deku’s all “I didn’t lose my power! BUT” and I assume the “but” is the part where his arms are still broken and shit, and meanwhile Tomura’s body is almost healed up now finally

they’re both wiped out and now AFO is again petitioning Tomura to let him take over goddammit

“you won’t lose your mind” yep, he sure won’t! scout’s honor!! pinky swear!!

meanwhile Deku is getting fucking desperate flkjl;k my baby. and Machia is going to show up any second now too, probably. what else can fucking go wrong at this point

oh shit I shouldn’t have asked

get ready to rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrruuuumble, probably

OH MY GOD

WELL AT LEAST SOMEONE HERE IS HAVING A GOOD TIME. jesus

so as soon as he heard Endeavor was there he got all, “TIME FOR THE BIG REVEAL”, is that right? WELL JOKE’S ON YOU TOUYA, YOUR DAD DOESN’T SEEM ALL THAT CONSCIOUS AT THE MOMENT, SO THAT’S GOING TO DRAIN A LOT OF THE TENSION FROM THE SCENE WHEN YOU GO ALL REVERSE DARTH VADER ON HIM AND HE’S ALL “ZZZZZZZZ”

meanwhile Toga is having unsettlingly quiet angst

jesus christ Toga this is all we need right now

“WAS JIN-KUN NOT A PERSON” sdkfjlk Horikoshi I swear. please have mercy on this fandom. this is the debate that refuses to die!!

but seriously ffs, the issue isn’t that Jin deserved to die, it’s that the countless people whom Jin would have either directly or indirectly killed didn’t deserve to die either. people don’t only become people when you attach names and faces to them! we all loved Jin because we’d gotten to know him, but that doesn’t mean his life was inherently worth more than the lives of all the people he would have killed. sometimes there’s just no good answer

like, it’s just crazy to me that because the heroes are all “we want to protect everyone!” but then aren’t always able to do so because that’s literally impossible, whereas the villains are all “we don’t care about anyone other than the select few people that we actually like!”, the villains somehow wind up getting the better PR. it just so happens that it’s infinitely easier to be loyal to the interests of a few people as opposed to ALL THE PEOPLE. like, no shit, it’s easier to stick to your moral code when you barely have a moral code. and so the villains can kill thousands and no one bats an eye, but if a hero fails to save even one person they’re hypocritical moral failures. like what the hell

BUT ANYWAY, sorry to go off on a tangent there lol, it’s not really a big deal. I’m just preemptively trying to stave off more discourse about it lol but who am I even kidding

anyways lol, but of course they won’t kill you unless they have no choice, Toga. but when it comes to catch-22 situations, it’s a bit much to infer that the heroes don’t consider the villains people just because they opt for the choice that spares more innocent lives. I sure as hell don’t want my babies out here killing people, but to say that they can’t no matter what or else they’re no different from the villains is just...

anyway so the chapter has now just ENDED, just like that!! on a shot of Ochako’s face!

I SENSE ANOTHER THROWDOWN COMING. and it had better not be a total letdown like the last one! NANA BARELY DID ANYTHING HORIKOSHI, WHAT THE FUCK. I started out with such high hopes lol

but I will settle for Toga VS Ochako, and Deku VS Tomura: The Sequel: Shouto’s Revenge! SPEAKING OF HEROES WHO HAVE NO QUALMS ABOUT MURDERING PEOPLE lmao

[nikakistos]

The mindset of Eren Yeager: The reason he rumbled the World

The topic I will be analyzing this time is Eren Yeager’s decisions and motivations in the final arc of the series. Many words have been said about our main protagonist, especially after his appearance in the final chapter, which made many question him and his actions. Given the dialogue between him and Armin it is not really hard to understand why. Isayama’s word choices have confused many fans. So, here I am. Trying to explain to the best of my ability what was going through Eren’s mind. Of course, I might be wrong. There have been many interpretations of the character after all, not to mention that Isayama will be releasing a character book the next month, which might explain things better. But, seeing as I will be in the army at the time, I figured I should write this now and compare my view to Isayama’s later on.

To begin with, we have to answer a very important question. What was Eren wish and what kind of life did he want to live? This question can easily be answered just by looking at Mikasa and Armin, Eren’s two most beloved people. These two represent what Eren wants out of life. Armin is responsible for Eren’s desire to be free. The outside world for Eren is freedom. Mikasa on the other hand represents Eren’s desire to be loved. She is his home to return to. You see, these two desires perfectly correspond with the visions Eren shared with his two friends in the paths. He used the paths to see with Armin all the places from Armin’s book that they imagined back when they were kids and he used the paths to live with Mikasa the life they never had the chance to live in the real world. Eren himself says he doesn’t want to die. He wants to live with Mikasa and everyone else. This is the kind of life he wants.

  But he couldn’t. And it wasn’t because of some supernatural force that guided his own actions and prohibited him from making another decision. No. It was because of his personality and the circumstances he found himself in. After Eren saw the future his attitude changed. He was by far more silent and sad than usual. He saw himself committing mass-genocide. He also learnt that the world was not what he imagined it to be. Eren wanted the world to be just like Armin’s book described. Empty of humans, but full of beautiful places. However, between himself and his dream stood enemies. Countless people who had never seen them, all wishing them dead.  The outside world had betrayed his expectations. For him, all these people that stood between him and his dream were just like the walls in Paradis. An obstacle. This is why, despite knowing that the Rumbling went against the justice he was supposedly fighting for, he decided to complete it. Deep down, he hated this world and he wanted to burn it down. This is in part due to his idea of freedom. For Eren, freedom is living your life the way you want it to, without ever taking orders from anyone. Doing whatever you want. This is why he was surprised by Levi’s follower attitude towards Erwin. With all his strength, he expected Levi to be the freest person in the legion. A world that continued to chain him down and disappoint him was something Eren could not tolerate. And when he got the power, he just wanted to erase it. He was free to do so.  It is no coincidence that the panel of his father saying to him “you are free” appears at the same time that Eren reveals his desire to destroy the world. This burning desire of his to erase the world contradicts his view on people being special because they were born in it. If this world makes people special just because they were born in it, then why the fuck would you completely destroy it Eren? Well, that’s exactly the point. Eren’s though process is entirely irrational. That’s true for all humans to a degree. Our deepest and darkest desires are irrational. The part of Eren that wanted to bring the Apocalypse, just because the world wasn’t like he wanted it to be is exactly that. Eren had to choose between what was just and what made him feel free. He chose the latter.

Moving on to the more rational side of his motivations for doing the Rumbling. That is the safety of his friends and his island. Eren genuinely cared for all of his friends. Mikasa and Armin were special, but he also cared for Historia, Jean, Connie, Sasha etc. He even cared for fucking Floch. And, obviously he cared for the island that he was raised in. He couldn’t just let the world annihilate them. This is like, the core of his ideology. If you fight, you might survive. If you just roll over, then you get fucked. Eren is not the type to get fucked. However, this did not mean that Eren wouldn’t opt for a different solution if a better option presented itself. After all, he did appear in the speech given by the Organization that protected the rights of the Eldians. The first problem here is that when Eren saw the memories of the future he had just 8 years left to live. Zeke had 5. Eren was displeased with this lack of time. The second problem was that he was stuck with a hilariously incompetent leadership. The leadership of Paradis failed spectacularly in finding a good solution and wasted half of Eren’s remaining lifespan. At the rate the Survey Corps were progressing, Zeke would have died and without him they wouldn’t be able to use the Founding Titan at all.  Additionally, none of the solutions they tried to find were exactly great. The 50 Y.P. required the sacrifice of Historia and her line, without ensuring with 100% certainty the eternal existence of Eldia. Since Eren cared about Historia and the island, he couldn’t accept such a proposal. The rest of the Survey Corps felt the same way. Hizuru on the other hand didn’t help them at all and Hange’s plan to approach the Organization that wanted to protect the rights of the Eldians failed spectacularly. Eren was left out of options.

The biggest turn off for him though was the revelation of Zeke’s real plan. When Yelena learnt that the SC would visit Marley she approached Eren and told him all about Zeke’s euthanasia and how to contact him. From this point on, Eren really had no other option left to save Paradis. If the meeting with the Eldian Rights Organization were to fail then he would have no choice but using Zeke’s blood, especially given his brother’s limited lifespan. He would never get another chance to visit Marley, nor was it certain that Zeke and he would manage to make contact. Worst case scenario, Zeke dies before meeting Eren, Colt gets the Beast, the Global Alliance attacks Paradis and they get fucked. Or, the SC somehow manage to find a serum to turn Historia into a dumb Titan, have Mikasa and Levi alongside Eren restrain her and use the Rumbling anyway, while also having sacrificed Historia.

  Things might have been different if Eren had actually decided to talk about the future he saw. Knowing what would happen if they didn’t try hard enough, might have made the Corps work harder. Of course, Eren just couldn’t predict the outcome of such a decision, so he decided to stay quiet, since, as established above, deep down he wanted to destroy the world.

Eren’s decision in the end came down to this: either he destroys the world or he says “fuck all” and elopes with Mikasa. He loved her enough to abandon everything and live his last few years peacefully with her. His dream about the outside world, Armin, Historia, Paradis, he was ready to turn his back to all of them just so he could selfishly survive with Mikasa. However, both he and Mikasa are incredibly shy people who can’t quite express their feelings easily. So, instead of telling her that he was in love with her, he left it all to her. To top it all off, he framed the question in such a way, that gave her the chance to pick an easy answer, without risking rejection. Then they got interrupted and the rest is history. He said fuck it and accepted his fate.

Attack on Titan’s world does operate under a fixed timeline. Destiny exists. Ever since Ymir became a titan up to Mikasa killing Eren was predetermined. They were meant to happen, exactly as they happened. However, the reason for that is not entirely supernatural. It is just that the personalities of each and every major character led to the result we saw. It is entirely because Eren cared about his friends and because he dreamt of freedom that he chose to rumble the world. It is his and Mikasa’s shyness that robbed them of a future together. Ymir had nothing to do with all that. It wasn’t Ymir who made the Santa Titan dumb enough to not bite Eren properly, nor was she the one who made the Azumabito clan greedy as hell or the Marleyans imperialists.

Eren knew what he would do and this of course played a major role in his decisions. But nobody forced him to do it. And, more than anything, he also knew why. Deep down, he knew. Eren decided Rumble the world, because he wanted his friends and island to be safe and because he hated the world. Eren accepted his fate, because he was left with no choice that he liked, time was running out and because Mikasa didn’t give him the right answer. The result? 80% of humanity dead, some of his friends dead, the ones who survived are mostly well, with Mikasa being the saddest one. The world is slowly marching to war, with the Yeagerists having regrouped and Armin and the co are trying to prevent this. The island’s survival is by no means guaranteed.

  Was it all for nothing? I don’t think so. Eren saved Paradis for some time, giving the chance to Armin to save humanity. After all, he did tell him so himself. Eren believed that with the Rumbling leaving the world in the state we saw, Armin would be able to find a solution. The series seems to imply that this is what will eventually happen.

In the end, Eren acted just like himself. Just like he told Falco. His reasons are not that complicated. He kept moving forward, because he was seeing something beyond this hell. We know now what that something was. His actions make total sense. It is just that his deep desire to end the world is rooted in his own childish view of freedom and of the world. In a story about children who need to become adults, Eren remained a child. His two friends on the other hand didn’t. Armin accepted his role as the Commander of the Survey Corps and despite the world not being what he wanted it to be, still fought to protect it from the person he once wished to explore this earth with. Mikasa accepted her role as a guardian of humanity and not Eren’s, like she believed herself to be, and despite wanting to share her life with Eren, she killed him. Eren saved Mikasa and Armin. This is his legacy. A world without titans.

[chryso0]

Theories about new Chapter;

Obviously we all have a lot of questions about the latest chapter and what this all means for the boys. This particular panel threw a lot of people off and for very obvious reasons as its going to change the course of the story quite a lot. 

This post is gonna be more focused on Akihito (sorry Asami 🥺), and what happened with him. We are gonna be asking. The WHO, the HOW, the WHY and the RESOLUTION

And we're gonna get to all of that in what will probably be a long post. These are just my personal theories, but this is probably the most cohesive and most convincing theory crafting for what’s to come after that very dramatic episode. 

We are gonna start off with the WHO;

SUDOH AND SAKAZAKI. Period. 

I know everyone has different theories about who is responsible for why Akihito is like this. But I think I'm gonna take the most obvious answer - its fuckin Sudoh. 

I am also inclined to believe chernobog is dead and not involved. It is rare for Sensei to kill people off so unequivocal. The fact that she killed off Yuri and Aaron (#1 and #2) - with no possibly way to return. Sorry I just think they’re organization is just dead. And even if some other faction of chernobog some how came together and regrouped. why in the hell would they work with Sudoh- AGAIN? after he screwed them over, and got all their leaders killed. 

Now there are other villains and suspicious characters, for which we don’t know there involvement. Maxim!? Alex?! Asami’s father?!!?

BUT I don’t think they’re directly involved in what happened to Akihito -and I say directly because they could have been secretly pulling all the strings. or purposely turning a blind eye. Or are otherwise working against Asami in other ways.

But to me I think its pretty clear cut that Sudoh is directly behind Akihito’s brainwashing and there are a ton of pretty explicit clues to that in that very last panel of the chapter where Akihito brandishes the knife. 

Now when that panel came out on the internet- I saw a lot of people saying crazy theories like. It’s not Akihito it’s Sudoh after facial reconstruction. Which is just- no! thats just to crazy. No!

BUT I do think the image is MEANT to invoke Sudoh. I don’t think its a coincidence that Akihito looks like Sudoh.

The way Akihito hair is just a little bit to straight! That evil look in his eyes. His face parallels with this panel below- half the face in darkness. His hair covering one eye, that looks out darkly.

But to me the most blatant and obvious connection, is the very knife Akihito wields. 

The black switch blade. It’s Sudoh’s signature weapon. He’s toting it here in the below images, when he visits Akihito’s dream right before Chernobog attacked the apartment, but he was also using it when he had Akihito captured in the warehouse.

In this other panel of Akihito’s dream, we see the exact same knife but we also see a pretty EXACT parallel to what's happened in the latest chapter. The knife. in the bedroom. cutting a defenseless Asami’s throat. (its like a game of clue)

It’s even a little eerie, in hindsight, that in this panel we coincidentally never see Sudoh face, only his hand. Almost like it could be anyone doing that- Even you Akihito!

But it made me think that Sensei really was doing some foreshadowing and really nothing is a coincidence with her.

Which now leads me to the question of HOW:

Something thats really bothered me about this newest chapter, and something I keep returning to is this- Akihito’s personality, this entire time has been built upon the fact that he is a journalist and truth seeker. 

So what throws me about this particular new direction - is even if Akihito’s memories are gone. Is that part of his personality really gonna go away? I just can’t believe that. Even when he was alone and out of touch - like when he was in the temple- he still couldn’t help but seek information and seek the truth. and even in the face with fear, he usually still seeks answers.

Obviously he might have been tortured for months, and it’s more then possible he did fight, but eventually they snuffed that out of him. And while this is totally possible - I don’t believe that sensei would go THAT dark.

So I'm more inclined to believe that they starve off his curiosity by feeding him lies, half truths, and maybe some partial memories of his life. 

Now imagine this. Tell Akihito basically everything about his life. At the very least, he seems to know they are ‘supposed to be’ lovers given his theatrics before he wields the knife. So tell him that his feelings for Asami where real. But then use all his insecurities about his relationship that we know  know where always there, and that haven’t magically disappeared after their ‘honeymoon’ period on the island. And use half truths and some lies to turn Asami in to the villain. 

When people were using that crazy theory about Sudoh getting facial reconstruction- all I could remember was this exact panel from volume 8. This panel is when Sudoh has Akihito kidnapped in the warehouse. Akihito is thinks about his relationship with Asami, and his fears and insecurities, he say  

“Will I turn out like Sudo?”

It’s not Sudoh magically turning into Akihito. It’s Akihito becoming more like Sudoh. And he’s already shown that he has had that fear. 

Now why does Sudoh hate Asami- The story is obviously a bit more complicated then how Sudoh probably sees himself. But Sudohs feels like he’s been abandoned. That he did everything that Asami ever wanted. That he crossed all the lines. But because he went too far,  and got mixed up with chernobog everything completely collapsed and Asami didn’t ever reward his loyalty with anything meaningful. 

Is it even that hard to convince Akihito that the SAME thing happened to him. Especially if his memories are messed up and he doesn’t have the full picture (hahaha photography puns). It would be pretty easy to convince him that Asami abandoned him to whatever horrible fate that befell him at the hands of Sudoh and Sakazaki.

Something that keeps running in my mind, is the very timely moment Akihito awakes in the hospital after his coma. It’s such a sad use of tragic timing. He is waking up at the same time that Asami is being safely evacuated and rescued by Alex on orders by Maxim. It’s like they’ve just missed each other. 

But I think you can see how it could easily be twisted and made to look as if Asami was leaving behind a comatosed Akihito. Abandoning Akihito when he was at his most vulnerable state. It could easily be twisted into Asami getting whisked away by his men, to some undisclosed location where he's getting top notch care and he never planned on taking Akihito with him. 

Then right when Akihito’s wake. its like they’ve just missed each other, and if Asami had just brought him along then he wouldn’t have fallen in to Sakazaki and Sudoh’s clutches.

And after everything Akihito had just been though. All the lines he had crossed. Shotting at Sudoh, his willingness to KILL for Asami. The lengths he would go to protect Asami. Literally TAKING THE FALL damage for Asami. and using his own body. Just for all those things to be manipulated and twisted into-  Asami never cared about you, you were just his play thing and he left you behind to rot- then yeah. hell yeah thats a Revenge Arch in the making!

Obviously the truth is being distorted, manipulated and twisted in some way by his captors. He doesn’t remember Asami’s confession, or how Asami used his own body to take bullets for him. Or all the other things that Asami has done, or the promises they made to each other on the island

This whole thing reminded me that during the naked truth arc Akihito had no assurances that Asami would rescuing him. He was constantly doubting himself thinking Asami wouldn’t go that far for him. And yet. we also know that some part of him was still holding out hope while he was in Hong Kong, thinking maybe Asami is coming.

Maybe at first he doesn’t believe everything. he fights it, as we know he is a fighter. But the naked truth arc kidnapping was Maybe a month of separation. We are talking about a whole half a year of no rescue, of no word from Asami. of enduring whatever hardships Sudoh and Sakazaki likely did to him. After a while, he might have given up hope entirely and believed that Asami had really left him. 

and y’know we all know Akihito has a bit of Stockholm syndrome. its not that much of a stretch to think after a while he started to agree with his captors and sympathize with them.

I can see that when somehow when word finally reaches that Asami is back and he’s looking for Akihito- I can see that being such salt in the wounds for him. Like he comes now? after all this time, to come in and pretend to be the knight and shining armor. It drives him even more into doing this.

NOW here comes the WHY: 

Well it seems pretty self explanatory why Sudoh would do this. 

I’v said this in other post but I'll say it again. To me what happen to Akihito wasn’t just about one thing- I think a lot of people want to make what happen to Akihito about Asami. That the goal was to assassinate Asami, that he was the intended target, and theres some wider underworld thing happening. When to me- this was very much a personal attack on both of them. 

and when I mean personal I mean personal. it’s not about who’s in charge of the underworld, or someone trying to usurp Asami. this was an attack on them. on their relation. this was an attack meant to hurt both of them in the worst way possible.

hell I dont even think Sudoh did this because he reasonably believed that Akihito could assassinate Asami- BUT y’know it was probably worth a try. And I’m guessing Akihito was eager to do it.

resolution:

I don’t have a real solution- I have no idea what's gonna happen next chapter. But I do have some theories. I think it would be real interesting to have Akihito use his photography and his journalist instincts, that seeking the truth personality of his to find out what really happened and to figure out what the truth is. 

We’ve gotten a lot of volumes recently that revolve around Asami’s world and what's going on in the underworld. So Idk it would be kinda nice to have Akihito getting back to his roots in some ways. 

BUT I’m also like we’re finally kinda getting all these Asami POV (which is nice) and we’ve just learned a bit about Asami’s past so it makes me think that the focus of the next volume is gonna be on Asami more then Akihito. 

But I think whatever the solution is it has to be Akihito getting/finding out the real truth, and probably getting all his memories back. And maybe Asami is the one thats going to give him that, or maybe Akihito has to do it himself and become the focus of his own investigation. 

Thanks for reading if you’ve read this far ❤️❤️ I think to much about finder obviously 😭 this was literally sitting in my drafts for weeks cause I was struggling with how to convey all of this.

[geekclubroc]

Bezos: I avoid taxes, donate less money, and squeeze employees, but I am a good boy who invests in space for human civilization

In 10 minutes, how to make the world’s richest man spend 180 million?

Last night, Bezos and his manned rocket did it.

Swish and go up

10 minutes later, he came back with a smash

Bezos’ dream finally came true, thumbs up with satisfaction

But the audience who watched the live broadcast for an hour and a half was not satisfied.

Everyone has a long history of dissatisfaction with him. Before the launch, some netizens wished him a failure in heaven.

Someone initiated a joint online petition. As of the day of launch, more than 160,000 people did not want him to return to Earth.

There are even reporters asking questions during the mealtime before the rocket launch: Will this be your last meal?

What kind of hatred is this?

People complain about the richest man in the world, and it’s mostly about money.

The media ProPublica exposed Bezos’s fancy tax avoidance methods, and his actual tax rate during the five years of 2014–2018 was only 0.98%.

Other points of controversy are the news that Amazon continues to squeeze employees, such as not giving warehouse employees time to go to the toilet, using in-car cameras to monitor delivery drivers, and so on. And Bezos lags behind other rich people in charitable donations.

Regarding the latter, he responded generously: his main contribution to mankind is not reflected in charity, and investing in space is more conducive to human civilization and development.

Bezos is serious about investing in space.

He once claimed that he would sell Amazon stocks worth about $1 billion every year and invest his money in Blue Origin.

At the press conference after this short space trip, Bezos thanked Amazon employees and customers: I want to thank every Amazon employee and every Amazon customer, because you paid for this trip.

This remark was ridiculed by an American congressman: They did pay, Amazon employees paid the price of low wages, obstruction of the union, inhumane workplaces, and lack of medical insurance during the epidemic.

What Amazon customers pay is Amazon’s abuse of its dominant market position to harm small businesses.

Another senator, Elizabeth Warren, also choked: He forgot to thank those who really paid taxes to keep society running.

Launched at 21 o’clock, Bezos personally enters the battle

This time, Bezos’s entry into space is divided into two stages.

First, a rocket launches a spacecraft with four members to an altitude of 100 kilometers (Carmen line) close to the ground. This is also considered to be the edge of the atmosphere, above which is space.

Then, the spacecraft disengaged from the rocket and relied on inertia to enter space, after which the cabin will experience zero gravity for about 3 minutes.

The rocket on the other side also entered the atmosphere, turned on the engine to slow down when it was approaching the landing recovery field, and slowly landed on the ground.

At the same time, the spacecraft opened the parachute to slow down, and finally Bezos and the other four people returned to the ground safely.

Because the flight time was too short this time, netizens murmured: Although the time spent in space is a bit short, the environment in the spacecraft’s cockpit is still very impressive.

The passenger compartment will be pressurized to ensure the comfort of passengers, and the surrounding large windows allow passengers to observe the environment well.

Since all operations are fully automatic, there is no pilot in this crew cabin, and the seats are still very spacious: the safety measures for the crew cabin are also very complete, and three escape tests have been successfully carried out so far. According to Blue Origin, the escape system can be activated at any stage of the flight.

No wonder this time Bezos seemed to be able to do the whole thing.

Who else goes to heaven together?

Joining Bezos to complete the trip is his brother Mark Bezos, 82-year-old retired pilot Wally Fink, and 18-year-old high school graduate Oliver Daymen.

The age of the latter two allowed this flight to simultaneously break the two historical records of the oldest person in space and the youngest person.

Oliver, the youngest Dutch guy, just graduated from high school last year. To receive the training needed to go to space, he postponed his day of going to university by one year.

Oliver’s father, who opened an investment company, paid for him a ticket for the next flight. However, the anonymous passenger who paid the sky-high price of 28 million U.S. dollars for the first ferry ticket was adjusted to the subsequent ferry due to the time conflict.

Oliver thus got the opportunity to go to heaven with Bezos.

Bezos stated on social media that he had dreamed of traveling in space since he was 5 years old. Oliver was one year earlier than him, and has been obsessed with space, the moon and rockets since he was 4 years old.

Another interesting coincidence is that Bezos announced his dream to the world for the first time in his 18-year-old high school graduation speech:

In addition to space travel, he also hopes that one-day humans can colonize space and build colonies, hotels and amusement parks in orbit.

Thanks to the efforts of Bezos, Oliver got closer to these wishes at the same age of 18.

After completing this space travel, Oliver will study at Utrecht University in the Netherlands in September this year. His major is physics.

Space travel is also Wally Fink’s lifelong dream, but she has waited for it for 60 years.

In 1961, as an airplane pilot, she passed NASA’s selection and became the youngest of the 13 female astronauts trained by the “Mercury 13” project.

But before any of them had a chance to enter space, the entire project was canceled.

Failed to get into space, Fink’s subsequent career has always revolved around airplanes. She has worked as a flight inspector, aviation safety investigator and pilot instructor.

So far, she has independently trained 700 pilots and participated in the training of more than 3,000 pilots.

In addition to Blue Origin, Fink has also bought spaceship tickets for Virgin Galactic.

As for whether she will continue her space flight in Virgin Galactic, Fink has not yet made up his mind.

Among the four, Mark Bezos is the only one who is not too obsessed with space travel.

When he first received an invitation from his brother to go to space together, Mark was stunned. He didn’t even know that his brother had personally participated in the first manned flight plan, let alone invited himself.

Mark is a member of the board of the Bezos Family Foundation, a volunteer firefighter, and his brother Jeff’s best friend.

The spacecraft has 14 “experiences”

This time, the New Shepard manned mission, named after Alan Shepard, the first American astronaut to enter space.

This reusable, vertical take-off and landing (VTVL) rocket is completely controlled by the onboard computer. The rocket is 18 meters high and has only one stage overall. It uses a BE-3 hydrogen-oxygen engine with a thrust of 50 tons.

The space capsule it carries has 15 cubic meters of internal pressurized space, which can accommodate up to 6 people at a time, and the launch escape system can allow it to be separated at any time during the lift-off process.

So far, the “New Shepard” rocket has successfully conducted 14 test flights without passengers.

△History successfully launched

During the period, the company upgraded the spacecraft, such as improving the space capsule's sound and temperature adjustment functions, the crew display panel, and each seat is equipped with microphones and call buttons. In addition, the communication and security alarm systems have been tested.

Because it is mainly used for space travel, the test flight range is not long. Although the Carmen line exceeds 100 kilometers each time, it has not attempted an orbital flight of more than 300 kilometers.

The most recent was the “NS-15” mission on April 14. After the rocket separated from the spacecraft, the spacecraft carried the “Skywalker” mannequin to an altitude of about 106 kilometers, and finally landed smoothly with the booster.

On July 20, the “New Shepard” will be launched from Texas. This will be the rocket’s first manned flight.

△Bezos himself is also very concerned about the project

However, the rocket will not enter the earth’s orbit, but will carry several passengers to the edge of the earth’s atmosphere and space, that is, suborbital space with a height of more than 100 kilometers.

Passengers can experience weightlessness for 4–5 minutes and look at the earth from the windows of the space capsule and see the arc of the earth.

Subsequently, the space capsule will return with the assistance of a power reverse thrust engine and land with a parachute.

Musk turns on “Tucao” mode

In fact, Bezos “nearly became” the first CEO to go to heaven, but the boss of Virgin Galactic rushed into space on July 11th 9 days before he went to heaven.

Blue Origin laughed at Virgin Galactic Sky: Spaceship? It’s actually a “high-altitude plane”!

The same scene “repeats” between SpaceX and Blue Origin. On the eve of the launch, Musk also turned on the “Tucao” mode about Blue Origin’s upcoming space, and he was very concerned about the dynamics related to Blue Origin.

Musk believes that the blue-origin rocket just flies out of the atmosphere and does not have the ability to enter orbit around the earth. This ridicule was also made into an emoji package that went viral on Twitter.

Musk himself didn’t mind, and happily responded to the ridicule

The two people’s grievances lasted for 17 years. Since the first meeting in 2004, the space company founded by the two rich men began to compete secretly.

Although Musk SpaceX is more advanced than Blue Origin’s technology and has successfully sent NASA astronauts into space, Blue Origin is even earlier in founding the company.

When Bezos graduated from high school in 1982, he had the dream of becoming an astronaut. Out of hobbies, he founded Blue Origin in 2000.

At that time, Musk was still creating PayPal. After that, he earned 160 million US dollars by selling PayPal and creating SpaceX in 2002.

Recently, the two have forged a beam because of NASA’s moon landing contract.

Musk’s SpaceX became the NASA’s lunar module contractor, and he also mocked Blue Moon’s lunar lander, Blue Moon, as “Blue Ball” on Twitter.

In contrast, Bezos has always wanted to “disturb” SpaceX’s plan, lobbying the US government to allow NASA to provide more funds to other bidding companies, so that SpaceX is no longer the only supplier.

However, Musk expressed his blessing to Bezos before this launch.

It seems that space tourism is indeed a hot industry, and even CEOs have personally “spoken”.

Blue Origin is expected to conduct two more manned flights this year, the most recent one in September or October.

Its competitor Virgin Galactic will wait until next year for its first commercial manned flight, but there are already more than 600 people in line to buy tickets.

[malumsmermaid]

I’d Do Anything B.C. 4

Happy Valentine’s Day y’all. Had this idea for this for a long time, and been fleshing it out further over the past couple weeks, just a coincidence that I finished it in time for this holiday. Hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 7.4k

Warnings: smut: oral-male and female receiving, poly!cashton at full range

Prev.        Next

The holidays finished out and all three got back to work, spending January both at the main office for meetings and making use of their home office, especially as it got closer to their trip out to visit the Australian offices, Ashton making plans for the three of them to properly meet his and Calum’s parents as a triad for the first time.

As the lyft pulled into the airport drop off lane Lily was sitting in the backseat anxiously picking at her thumbnail. She jumped when Ashton opened her door, holding his hand out to her. Calum was helping the driver get their bags out of the trunk, giving him a firm handshake and thanks as the trunk closed. Ashton gave the driver a nod, holding tight to Lily’s hand, keeping her from picking at her nails as Calum passed her her suitcase. The three of them made their way into the airport, Lily’s thoughts still racing as they all made their way to security.

Once they were through and waiting in their terminal, Lily began picking at her nails again, knee bobbing next to Ashton. He finished answering an email on his phone before moving his massive frame into her lap, effectively forcing her to stop bouncing her leg. Calum looked over with an amused expression, removing a single earbud to listen in. “What’s bothering you, love?” Ashton asked, hand reaching up to cradle her face.

Lily sighed, looking up into Ashton’s hazel eyes, chewing her lip for a moment before answering. “Part of it is just that I’ve never been on a flight this long before,” she paused, thinking through her words as both men looked at her, waiting silently for her to continue. “I know your families already know me from when we were in school, but that’s just as your friend  and business partner, now all three of us are together and I’m scared that that’s going to change how they feel about me. I’m scared they won’t accept us as…y’know, us.”

Ashton let out a gentle “Oh, sweetheart,” Calum quickly reaching forward and taking her hand, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb as Ashton wrapped his arms around her, patting the back of her head as he shifted his position in her lap.

Lily turned her head against Ashton’s chest so that Calum could hear her as she spoke softly, “You both love your families so much and I think I’m afraid of what would happen to us if they don’t understand what we have here.”

Calum blinked quickly, fighting back the tears threatening to fill his eyes, gripping her hand tighter in his own, looking up to Ashton for answers. “Lily, love,” Ash started, turning her to look up at him again, “I’m not gonna say that it’s going to be ok because I don’t know how they’ll react either, but I believe that what matters most is that we’re happy together, the three of us love each other and know what we have. That’s always been more important to us than what people on the outside think, right? It’ll be a bit harder since this is family, but I do believe that as they see how happy we are that they’ll come around, even if it isn’t at first.”

Calum cleared his throat, speaking up, “I think it’ll definitely be a shock for them, but I’m really not anticipating an overly negative reaction to us. They might need a few weeks to understand it and get used to the idea of us, but I don’t see tears or yelling or table flipping or anything.”

Lily managed a giggle at Calum’s statement, and both men smiled, Ashton pressing a kiss to the top of her head while Calum leaned over and pecked her cheek. Ashton gave her shoulders a squeeze before clambering out of her lap and back into his chair, the three of them occupying themselves as they waited for their flight to be called.

An hour into the flight as the first movie started playing, the three of them were moving the armrests and reclining their seats, doing their best to make a makeshift space for the three of them to snuggle up to each other in as the movie continued. As the flight continued, the trio slowly drifted off, one at a time. Calum was the last one still awake, eyes drooping slightly as he gently threaded his fingers through Lily’s ponytail, absently playing with the copper strands. He had a fond smile on his face, staring down at Lily’s head resting on his chest, trying to fight sleep for a little longer. A flight attendant passed by on his way back from another passenger’s seat who needed something, smiling at Calum as he glanced the trio’s way. Calum let out a soft hum in response before finally allowing sleep to claim him.

~~~~~~

Hours upon hours later they were finally in Sydney, pulling their bags behind them as Ashton contacted a car to take them to the apartment. They stepped out into the sunlight and Lily was instantly squinting, her sunglasses somewhere in one of her bags, so she tried to make use of the shadow of her giant boyfriends instead. Calum smiled, pulling her to his side, allowing her to hide from the sunlight in his side while Ashton scanned for the car. Ashton finally spotted the car, pulling both Lily and Calum along and they put all their bags in the trunk before climbing in.

The car pulled up in front of the apartment building, Ashton paying the driver while Calum and Lily pulled everything from the trunk. Calum shut the trunk, bringing Ashton’s two bags up onto the sidewalk as he waved off the driver, both men throwing their free arm around Lily as the trio walked into the lobby. Calum gave a nod to the person at the security desk, continuing to walk to the elevator. Ashton hit the button and the doors opened, Lily wheeling his suitcase that he’d left next to her, assuming he’d have to wait a moment and step back. Ashton smiled as Lily and Calum joined him, the doors sliding closed as he pulled his wallet out, retrieving a card and tapping it to a sensor to the right of the floor buttons. Calum smiled as the elevator began its ascent, leaning back against one of the hand rails as Lily was pulled to Ashton’s side, the raven-haired man nuzzling his face against her hair. Her green eyes watched as each number appeared on the display, humming at the fifteen numbers on the panel. The elevator displayed fifteen, Lily shifting to take hold of her suitcase handle again, but it continued moving upward, more than an elevator usually would before it stopped. Ashton smiled against her hair, hand rubbing her back as the elevator slowed to a stop, the doors finally opening, giving Lily a view of an entire living room, complete with a wall of floor to ceiling windows.

Lily’s breath caught in her throat as Ashton guided her out of the elevator. She stared around the entire apartment, taking in as many details as she could, Calum walking up beside her and pressing a kiss to her cheek, “Welcome home, doll.” He whispered, taking her bag and making for the open door.

Ashton smiled, gently pulling Lily along and following after Calum. Lily’s eyes were still wide as they entered the bedroom, Calum waiting patiently in front of a pair of double doors. “Figured you’d want to put your things away yourself, Lil.” He said with a smile, extending a hand as he opened one of the doors.

“I rearranged Cal and I’s things to give you room when I was here two months ago.” Ashton added, rolling his own suitcase with him as he followed Calum and Lily into the large closet. Lily’s face was frozen as she stared around the closet. “Also may have taken the liberty to get you some things, since I knew I wanted to be bringing you here soon.”

Lily nodded, taking in the side of the closet that was void of sweatshirts and suits hanging from the rod, fingers gently picking through the few articles hanging in front of her. She smiled, finally kneeling down, opening her suitcase to begin getting settled in. After a minute Ashton was at her side, having been there most recently he had only packed some new jackets, helping her put some things away. She rolled open a drawer to begin to put away her underwear and bras and gasped, “Ash,” her voice caught, turning to look at him.

He hung up the dress he had in his hand before stepping over, boyish smirk on his face, “Did a good job guessing which drawer you’d want to put those in, huh?” Lily’s face was turning red as he got closer and he smiled, wrapping his arms around her, “What do you say about a fashion show for me and Cal after lunch? We gotta stay up to get used to the time here, even if we’re all a little tired from traveling for 26 hours.”

Lily hummed, leaning into her boyfriend as Calum stepped over from his suitcase, eyebrows raised as he peeked into the open drawer. He hummed appreciatively, his hand reaching up and cupping his girlfriend’s cheek, “Answer Ash, doll, it’s all up to you.”

She nodded slowly, eyes fluttering closed as she whispered, “I’d love to do that.”

Both men grinned at each other, Calum dipping down to capture Lily’s lips in his own, smiling into the kiss as Ashton pulled her closer to him, unpacking slightly forgotten.

~~~~~~

Ashton walked back into the penthouse apartment at 11, removing his sweat soaked tank top and tossing it in the direction of the washing machine, striding across the living room towards the bedroom. He smiled at the sight of Lily spread over the sheets, Calum having left to have brunch with his mom at the same time that Ashton went downstairs to the gym, both men leaving their girlfriend to continue to sleep. He hummed, crawling onto the bed, holding himself above Lily, his hands and knees pinning the sheets into place around her. Lily hummed at the presence above her, shifting slightly in bed. Ashton smiled, leaning down and pressing a kiss to her cheek, “Lil, c’mon baby, you need to get up, it’s eleven o’clock babe.” Lily let out another tired hum, Ashton sighing as he pressed closer to her, “C’mon love, I need a shower buddy. Please?”

Lily’s lips twitched up at Ashton’s pleading tone, green eyes opening a smidge. Ashton leaned down, pressing a kiss to her lips, “Morning love.” He said as she slowly began to sit up, moving to sit back on his heels so she could have more room to move.

They both made their way to the bathroom, Ashton finishing getting undressed as Lily started the water. Ashton leaned against the counter, sighing as he slowly stretched out his back, eyes fluttering closed. Lily giggled, playfully saying, “Getting old, Ash?”

He hummed at the tease, eyes opening and giving her a sharp glance. She just smiled at the older man, stepping through the shower door, not breaking eye contact with him. He hummed, following after her, allowing the glass door to shut behind him as he stepped into the shower. Lily backed under the stream of water, still working on getting hot, but at least not cold. Ashton smiled, stepping forward and wrapping his arms around his girlfriend, pressing gentle kisses to her neck before whispering, “Want to give your ‘old man’ a back rub, princess?”

Lily giggled, turning in Ashton’s arms, her hands resting on his biceps as she looked up at him. He leaned down, giving her lips a gentle peck before turning his back to her and Lily set to work, leaning up slightly to reach his shoulders, hands rubbing soothing circles over the muscles, Ashton groaning from time to time as she continued working her way down his back, pushing in and working out the stiffness and sore spots from the long flights and his morning workout.

Once she finished rubbing his back, feeling Ashton relax into her, she wrapped her arms around his waist, nestling her head between his shoulders. “I ever tell you you’ve got magic hands?” Ashton inquired, his large hands coming to rest on top of hers.

Lily smiled, pressing a kiss to one of Ashton’s shoulders before responding, “I think you or Calum may have mentioned it once or twice.”

Ashton let out a dry chuckle at her response, turning in her arms and looking down at her. She smiled up at him before he leaned down, connecting their lips in a slow kiss. He pulled back whispering, “Cal and I both love you, y’know.”

Lily hummed, “Yeah…be nice for him to say it for himself.”

Ashton’s eyebrows threaded together slightly as Lily covered her mouth, the last half having slipped out. He was about to try to push the subject further when Lily turned, grabbing her shampoo and beginning to wash her hair. He hummed, grabbing his own shampoo, deciding to give his girlfriend a minute to gather her thoughts about this new information he’d received rather than question her at the moment.

Once they’d both showered and dried off, still wrapped in their towels, Ashton walked Lily into the bedroom, settling on the edge of the bed with her seated in his lap. “C’mon sweetheart, tell me what’s on your mind. Then we can see if we can work this out, sound good?”

Lily nodded, cuddling into his chest. “It’s just…I know Cal loves me, I really do, in the way he acts and things he does and all, but it’s been over a year since he and I decided that we were going to be together, nearly a year since you decided this would work with the three of us and he’s never said ‘I love you.’ Like he’s said it when he includes you in it, but never for himself. Like, I don’t know if he thinks he can’t say it without including you because of it being all three of us, but you say it all the time, and I just…I don’t know, it would just be nice to hear it…especially if I’m meeting you guy’s parents soon.”

Ashton felt his heart drop slightly at the slight sadness in his girlfriend’s eyes, gently reaching up to cradle her head. “Hey…it’s ok, do you want to talk to Calum about it?”

Lily shook her head violently, “I don’t want to make him feel bad”

Ashton nodded, “Ok, it’s ok, love, I understand. How about I stay at work late one night this week, let you two have a night to yourselves? Think that’ll work?”

Lily hummed, “Maybe.”

Ashton nodded, pressing a gentle kiss to her cheek before saying, “Let’s get dressed and try to get some groceries, that way we can eat lunch later. Get you moving and seeing the sunlight so you can get used to the time change, yeah?”

Lily grinned in response and Ashton allowed her out of his lap, following her into the bedroom closet, both their towels dropping to the floor as they crossed the room.

~~~~~~

The week went on and the three of them got acclimated to the new time zone, going into the office and making it through the day. On Thursday Lily and Calum poked their heads into Ashton’s office at the end of the day, seeing if he was ready to go home. He caught Lily’s eye as he looked up from the monitor before saying, “Think I’m going to be here a few more hours. Take our girl out, something nice. Treat her, yeah?”

Calum nodded, a smile on his face as he reached for Lily’s hand. She hummed, looking over at Ashton, “Don’t stay too late. Love you.”

He smiled, “Love you too, Lil, have a good night, I’ll see you both at home.” He blew a kiss her way and she smiled back as she caught it, waving before taking Calum’s hand and walking out of the office.

Once they were back in the penthouse Calum spun her gently before saying, “Go ahead get changed into something nice, gonna see what I can do last minute, ok?”

Lily nodded, smiling as Calum cupped her face, giving her a long kiss before letting her make her way to their room, Calum hopping onto the counter, beginning to search his phone for somewhere to take his date.

In the closet, Lily set her eyes on one of the dresses that Ashton had bought for her on his previous trip. She pulled it from the rack, hand running over the fabric as she eyed the cut of it. She delicately placed the hanger on the edge of one of the shelves before taking off her blouse and bra, stepping out of her pants, humming softly to herself as she once again touched the fabric. She chewed her lip as she toyed with an idea, something she definitely wouldn’t try if Ashton were coming with them tonight, knowing it would probably cut the date short, or get it sidetracked. She gave herself a small smile as she gave the mirror a side glance, deciding to chance it, pulling her underwear down and kicking it over to join the small pile of clothes, reaching up for the dress, removing it from the hanger and stepping in, slowly pulling it up her bare body and zipping it on.

She made sure everything was correctly in place, twirling in front of the mirror before ducking into the bathroom to touch up her makeup, adding eyeliner and a fresh coat of mascara for the event. As she stepped back into the giant closet to grab a pair of heels and a light sweater, remembering how she had to lean into Calum’s side as they walked to the car, the warm air from earlier in the day disappearing as the sun sunk lower and lower in the sky.

Calum had just finished buttoning up his bright yellow button down and quickly strode over to Lily, helping her pull her cardigan over her bare shoulders. She smiled, quickly fastening on her heels, Calum steadying her as she stood. “Ash wants a cute photo of us since he has to miss out on tonight.” He said with a smile, guiding her towards the mirror, his arms resting around her waist and lips finding her cheek as he took a photo.

Lily was smiling as she leaned on her boyfriend, watching lazily as he sent the photo, eyes going wide as she looked above it just slightly, “Did you send him a photo of my ass?”

Calum’s face split in a grin as he nodded and Lily scoffed. “Turn around, need to send him a picture of yours too then.”

Calum laughed as he turned, waiting for Lily to grab her phone. He stuck his hip out to the side, one of his hands digging into his ass as he waited for her to get the photo. Lily fought back laughter as she finally got one and typed out a message to Ashton, “Fair is fair,” and finally the pair were on their way out for their date.

Calum drove, occasionally reaching over and giving Lily’s hand a squeeze. He finally pulled into the parking lot for the gardens, having found that they were having a sunset event tonight. He led the way to the softly lit pathway that wove into a maze of flowers. He smiled as Lily wandered slightly ahead of him down the path, both of them stopping to take pictures of each other in front of some of the flowers, admiring each little petal for a moment before moving along.

Finally they made it to the small pond at the center of the park, Calum flagging down a young girl, asking her to take a few photos of the couple, together. He held her close for the first, the pair smiling into the camera before Calum pulled Lily into his chest, turning and giving her a gentle kiss, cradling her head as he pulled away, his forehead on hers, whispering softly, “Hey Lil, I love you.”

Lily’s jaw dropped as she locked eyes with Calum. His eyes were crinkled up from his smile, one hand tightening on her shoulder as he accepted his phone back from the girl, whispering his thanks before tucking Lily to his side, walking over to an empty bench under a tree. He sat down, pulling Lily to sit in his lap, Lily crossing her legs as she leaned back into his chest. He rested his arms around her waist, head dipping into the crook of her neck. “I was thinking when we were on the plane last week, after you brought up your worries about introducing our relationship to our families.” Lily hummed, green eyes meeting Calum’s dark brown, “I realized, I’d never actually told you outright that I love you, or Ashton either. I’ve always included either of you when saying it, and I knew I had to correct that. I didn’t want to just blurt it out in bed or something, so I was trying to figure out different ways for each of you, but Ashton caught me out on it Sunday morning while you were still asleep. So I’ve already talked to him because he noticed my mood and all, y’know, how he does, and he told me he’d stay late one night so I could take you out and tell you. All that to say…I fucking care about you so much Lily and I’m sorry it took me so long to realize what I’ve been doing and all…I just love you a with all my heart, babe.”

Lily let out a watery laugh, a couple tears spilling over as she took in what Calum had said. His eyes widened as the tears ran down her cheeks, quickly cupping her face in his hand, thumb rubbing them away. “Sweetheart, don’t cry, oh no.” He stammered, arms tightening around her.

She smiled, leaning into his touch, “I’m not upset Cal, I just love you too, so fucking much.” He smiled back, his eyes closing as she shifted around to face him. “I talked to Ashton the same day you did. Told him after our shower that I knew you loved me, but I just wanted to hear you say it. He told me the same thing he told you, that he’d set it up to be just the two of us one night. Of course he said that after I told him I didn’t want to upset you by bringing it up.”

Calum let out a deep laugh, the pair feeling relief flood them as they continued to sit there holding each other for another moment. Finally, Calum glanced at his watch, humming softly. “C’mon love, lets go get you dinner, I made reservations.” Lily nodded, carefully getting out of his lap, taking his hand and leaning into his side as they made their way back to the car.

~~~~~~

A couple of hours later the pair were back home again, stepping out of the elevator and walking towards the couch. Calum fell backwards onto the leather, bringing Lily with him. Lily giggled, her body slightly warm from the two glasses of wine at dinner, as well as Calum’s suggestions on the drive home that were still running through her head, causing her to press her thighs together as she felt him under her. Calum hummed softly, leaning forward and pressing gentle kisses to her neck. His hand came to rest on her thigh, absently rubbing at her skin but also pushing up the skirt of her dress slightly.

“Hey Lil,” he started, eyes glancing up towards her face from where he’d nestled his head. “Y’know that I sent that picture of your ass to Ash, but did you read what I sent with it at all?” She shook her head no and a smirk pulled at the corner of her boyfriend’s mouth. “Well, I kinda initiated a bet on whether or not you had anything on under that pretty dress of yours. Ash thinks you would never do something like that, do you wanna make a video for him to show that I’m right?”

Lily laughed softly, leaning into his chest before agreeing, getting to her feet and standing in front of him as he grabbed his phone. She leaned forward in front of him as he started recording, giving Calum a long kiss before pulling back, smiling at the camera. “Hi Ash, Cal told me you two made a bet, he’s pretty sure he’s right though.” Calum chuckled as you stepped back, cutting in, “You were just sitting in my lap, baby girl, I’ve got a pretty good feeling about my odds.”

Lily just grinned at him, casting her cardigan over onto the empty loveseat, turning around so her back was to Calum, reaching behind her to gently smack her own ass. Calum let out a soft groan, and she grinned, licking her lips before swaying her hips side to side, looking back at Calum before raising her arm and bringing her other hand to the side zipper, slowly pulling it down before letting the dress fall to the floor.

“Fuuuucckk” Calum groaned, jaw slack as he took in his girlfriend’s bare body, dropping his phone before slowly getting to his feet, hands going around her shoulders as he dipped his head for a hungry kiss, pushing her back onto the couch, landing on top of her as she began reaching for his shirt buttons. He groaned softly, pulling back enough to help her get his shirt off, tossing it over his shoulder before leaning back in.

Lily was letting out a gentle moan a little later over the sensation of Calum’s fingers in her before she let out a soft gasp, “Cal, wait,” he froze instantly, looking down at her, eyebrows raised, “Did you text Ash?”

“Shit.” he gasped, quickly reaching for the floor with his clean hand, bringing his other fingers to his lips, cleaning them quickly before addressing the camera, “Sorry Ash, see you when you get home, love you.”

Lily smiled, waving lazily as Calum turned the video toward her before ending it. He set it to send as an invisible ink message before returning his attention to Lily. He spread her legs a little more, watching as his fingers disappeared inside her again. He set a brutal pace, knowing that once Ashton got to the end of the video that he’d forgotten he hadn’t stopped he would be in a rush to get home. He pulled two orgasms out of her, her body twitching where she lay on the couch. He quickly wrapped his arms around her, slightly afraid that she would fall to the floor.

Lily let out a whine, staring up at him with glassy eyes. “Please Calum,” she whimpered, reaching for his pants.

He nodded, quickly removing them along with his boxers, bringing one of her legs up to his shoulder. Lily gasped as he pushed in, sinking into her smoothly. He moved with slow, deep thrusts, stark contrast to his earlier pace, but Lily still found herself gripping at the couch cushions. Calum’s eyes slipped closed, letting himself get lost in the feeling of her body against him, a warmth spreading through him. He let out a soft groan of her name, head right next to her ear as the elevator into the apartment dinged.

Ashton’s footsteps were light as he walked in, saying nothing as he joined them in the living room, just picking up Lily and Calum’s discarded clothes, folding them neatly and leaving them on the loveseat, his own finding a spot there, before he made his way to the rarely used armchair, sitting down in just his boxers, his heavy stare falling directly on the faces of the pair on the sofa. Calum’s eyes remained closed, tongue poking out to wet his lips as Ashton’s presence in the room reminded him of what he’d won from their little bet earlier. Still he maintained the rhythm he’d been using before his boyfriend’s appearance, forcing himself to focus on his girlfriend instead.

Lily however, lacked the same focus, her eyes fluttering open and glancing to the side, meeting Ashton’s gaze. The raven haired man raised a single eyebrow, pointing towards Calum instead. A playful smile crossed Lily’s face, lifting her hips from the leather and pushing back against Calum, her arm snaking between their bodies, hand finding its way to his balls, gently fondling them as she continued to meet his thrusts, Calum gasping and whining softly. His hips stuttered slightly, stilling as he gasped out, “Lil, Lily, fuck fuck, babe.”

He moved her leg off of his shoulder, gripping her waist as he flipped, getting her on top of him.  Lily smiled, leaning down and giving Calum a kiss, her chest pressed to his as she slipped her tongue between his lips, Calum allowing her to lead. She pulled back after a moment, bouncing on him slightly as she did, causing him to let out an involuntary grunt as he reached to try to steady her. She smiled down at him, her face full of love as she began riding him, her pace vastly different from his, Calum’s breath quickening to match her movements. He knew he wouldn’t make it much longer like this, his thumb finding her clit, helping speed her own end along. They both fell apart not long after that, Calum sitting up and holding Lily to his chest while he stayed in her, pressing kisses to her shoulders and cheeks, whispering softly, “Love you so much baby.” As he cradled her as she continued to come down.

Finally, Ashton spoke up, staying in his chair. “Better clean up your girl, Cal.” he stated simply, smiling at the shiver that went through Lily.

Calum nodded, looking to make sure Lily was ok before lifting her off of him, laying down on his back again, easing her to rest over his face, positioning his legs so that she could lean back against his knees if she needed to. He began sucking and lapping at her, cleaning up the mixture between her legs, hands helping to support her as she shook and recoiled, her arms going weak as he worked her through a fourth orgasm. She tried to pull away from him as he cleaned up the last one, his movements gentle but her body was sensitive from the way he’d been treating her earlier in the night.

Her weak whimpers filled the room as he finally pulled himself away, brown eyes gentle as he helped her to lay on his chest. He laid there rubbing her shoulder, staying quiet as he heard Ashton finally get to his feet, the older man reaching down and scooping Lily into his arms. “Let’s get you tucked in bed and then Calum can finally collect his prize, hmm?”

Lily’s eyebrows knitted together as she rested her head against Ashton’s chest, too tired to ask anything. She’d processed enough from Ashton saying she was Calum’s girl earlier to know that he wasn’t going to touch her tonight. They had spent a lot of time since the day a year ago that they agreed that this was going to be something they all wanted. There had been a few stumbling blocks along the way following the initial discussion over dinner after Kelsey had left from her check in on Lily’s date, but they’d worked through them, continuing to check in from time to time as the relationship progressed.

Ashton gently deposited her in their bed, wrapping the blankets around her and pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead, turning and almost immediately running into Calum, who had been following right behind him all the way from the couch, his eyes bright and excited as Ashton smirked at him. Lily turned her head, limbs still heavy, watching as Calum pulled Ashton in for a kiss, his tattooed arms wrapping around Ashton’s shoulders, hands going into Ashton’s black curls as they kissed. She smiled lazily at the low groan that passed Ashton’s lips. Finally, Ashton managed to separate his and Calum’s lips, instead beginning to trail kisses down his boyfriend’s body, slowly sinking to his knees in front of the younger man. Lily sat up, ignoring her body’s protest, despite all their discussions, it was still a rare sight for Ashton to be the one getting on his knees.

After a smattering of kisses and bites to Calum’s thighs, Ashton set to work. He took Calum’s tip in his mouth, slowly moving down his shaft. Calum groaned at the feeling of Ashton’s tongue working along his length, leaning his head back and reaching behind him for something, anything, to lean against while his other hand returned it’s grasp to his boyfriend’s hair.

A minute later Ashton pulled all the way off of Calum’s cock with a sinful slurp, pushing his hair out of his eyes and catching his breath. He turned to glance over at his girlfriend, check in on her, and chuckled lowly as he caught sight of her, legs having kicked the covers away since he’d firmly wrapped her in them, her heavily lidded eyes on her boyfriends, fingers between her spread legs. Ashton turned back to Calum, his brown eyes still shut, but a whine leaving his throat from the loss of attention from his boyfriend. “Cal, babe, look at your girl, could’ve sworn she was done from what you’d gotten up to before I got home.”

Calum slowly opened his eyes, looking down at Ashton before moving his gaze to their girlfriend. He smirked, hand reaching down and cupping Ashton’s square jaw, “Issa rare sight, Ash, you like this, sure Lil is enjoying it as much as I am.”

Ashton smiled, leaning into Calum’s touch, pressing a quick kiss to Calum’s thigh before setting back to his task. Calum let out a high pitched moan as Ashton took him all the way down, hazel eyes boring into brown as Ashton renewed his efforts, bringing his long fingers into play, desperate to hear more from Calum. Finally he pulled Calum over the edge, taking everything the younger man gave. Calum’s knees came out, no wall or piece of furniture behind him to support his weight, instead toppling into Ashton’s body, catching the raven haired man off guard and causing them both to end up in a heap on the bedroom floor.

They both caught their breath, Lily smiling sleepily as she cleaned her fingers, watching as both large men slowly got to their feet. Ashton licked his lips, smiling at Calum. “Ash,” he whined, gaze dropping to Ashton’s crotch and the wet spot forming on his boxers.

He shook his head at Calum, “It’s getting late, love, let’s just get everyone rinsed off, you can make it up to me in the morning.”

Calum nodded slowly, watching as Ashton kicked off his boxers, lifting Lily and carrying her into the shower, starting the water. Calum joined him under the lukewarm water, Ashton cleaning Lily before taking care of himself, all three of them in and out in just a few minutes. Once they’d all been dried off and teeth were brushed they crawled into bed, Lily cuddled up against Calum while Ashton curled up behind him, arms wrapping around his waist once the lamp was turned off. “I love you both, so much” Calum whispered, smiling as he felt them both leaning up, each pressing a kiss to his cheeks.

“Love you too,” both Ashton and Lily responded, smiling as they settled into the mattress. Calum hummed, giving them each a good night kiss before doing the same, heart full and content as he too settled down for the night.

~~~~~~~

Friday had been a busy day of work, Calum and Ashton showing up later than Lily, both their cheeks still flushed from their morning at home. The three of them had crashed right after dinner, half-asleep as they tried to watch a show together, Lily waking up at 2AM to the “are you still there?” screen from Netflix. She felt around the large bed for the remote, turning off the tv and turning back into the side of one of her boys and falling asleep again.

The next morning they were awoken by Ashton’s phone. He had fortunately managed to think to set his alarm before he drifted off too, knowing that they’d have to be up to meet Anne and Joy for brunch. Calum blinked as he looked around, confused by the sunlight filtering through the large windows. All three of them shared lazy morning kisses until the second alarm went off, Ashton finally rolling out of bed, beginning to shepherd the other two into the bathroom so they could all get ready on time.

Once they were all dressed, they went down to the parking garage, Lily getting in the backseat with Calum, cuddling against his side, playing with his fingers as he offered his hand to her once he was buckled in. Ashton backed out of the space, driving to the restaurant they were all meeting at. He parked the car, glancing around for the two women they were meeting before clambering over the center console, sitting on Lily’s other side, having recognized her nervous habits picking up now that they had arrived. He took her free hand in his, bringing it to his lips, “Remember, it’s going to be ok love, this doesn’t change anything for the three of us, alright? It’s just something they’re going to have to get used to.” Calum nodded, leaning in and giving her a kiss on the cheek before giving Ashton a kiss too, “We’re here for you, ok? Right next to you, just like this.”

She nodded, squeezing Calum’s hand. She knew they were there and that they were slightly anxious about it too, but that they were trying to keep it together for her, to make her feel better. She smiled, giving both men a kiss and they all got out of the car, Ashton opening the front door to get his keys and wallet. Ashton asked for their table when they stepped inside, having called ahead on Friday morning, Saturday brunch particularly popular at this spot. The host led the trio back to the empty five top, leaving their menus as the triad sat down, both men resting their hands on Lily somehow as he walked away.

The waitress stopped by, getting their drink orders just as Joy and Anne walked over to the table. Both men rose, sharing hugs with their moms before pulling out their chairs for them before returning to their own seats, Ashton across from Anne and Calum from Joy. The waitress stayed to get the women’s drink orders before walking to the next table. Both Anne and Joy grinned at Lily, saying how nice it was to see her again, and that both boys had caught them up on everything she’s been up to with the company and how nice it all sounded. Lily smiled, keeping polite conversation going with them, but both women had questioning expressions on their faces, wondering if her presence with their sons was still just business and their usual friendship or if she was with one of them.

Lily had gone through two mugs of coffee and half her mimosa and everyone was halfway through their breakfast when Ashton cast a glance at his partners, clearing his throat. He smiled, taking a breath before he started, “Mum, Joy, there’s something we wanted to bring up.” Ashton put his arm over Lily’s shoulder, Calum’s hand disappearing under the table to squeeze Lily’s knee. Anne’s hand went to her mouth at the gesture of affection Ashton had made, both women waiting for him to continue, Joy having noted Calum’s movement too, “Me, and Lily, and Calum…the three of us have been together for about a year now. Like…dating and all. Lil and I moved in with Cal a few months ago too. Started last year after she started dating Calum, even though Calum knew I had had feelings for her since school. But he had offered up the idea of this situation that we have now, I just wasn’t ready at the time, until it had already been a couple months. Honestly though, now that I’m here with both of them, I wouldn’t have it any other way. All three of us are incredibly happy and we love each other so much, it’s everything I didn’t know I ever wanted.”

Ashton’s hazel eyes were watering as he finished talking and Lily leaned into him, Calum reaching over to rub his boyfriend’s shoulder. He smiled at both of them, leaning his head on top of Lily’s for a second before glancing over at Calum. He smiled over at Ashton before picking up, “I’m honestly the happiest I’ve ever been in a relationship right now. Which is something that I’ve been struggling with since school; I feel as right about this as I did when Lily met up with us at the library to talk about our business ideas. It’s been a lot of figuring stuff out and talking among ourselves, but it works great for us. It’s just like any other relationship it’s just there’s-“ “Three of us.” Lily finished, looking up at Calum shyly. He just nodded, pressing a kiss to her cheek and letting her continue when she was ready. “I was lucky enough to have them both as my friends through school and that they trusted me enough to let me come in on this company idea with them. Our friendship has grown even more since then and this has just strengthened our bond. They’re both absolutely fantastic men and I really can’t imagine going through life with anyone else. I was really nervous about doing this, but they both have helped calm me down and given their reassurances, I wasn’t even sure if I was going to say anything coming in here, but y’know, here we are. We’ve grown a lot together and I can’t wait to see where it goes.”

Both Anne and Joy were carefully wiping at their eyes as Lily finished speaking, watery smiles on both their faces. They reached across the table, both women taking their sons’ hand as well as Lily’s. That was all that happened, everyone finishing their food once their hands were all released, the table remaining in a comfortable silence.

Outside the restaurant after Ashton had settled the check, all five of them were in an embrace. Anne and Joy both talking about the trio coming by the houses for dinner sometime while they were still in Sydney, as well as before they left to go back to the States. Calum and Ashton, making promises to call them with plans later as Joy and Anne both hugged Lily tightly, planting sweet, maternal kisses to her cheek before they both did the same to each of the boys. Ashton and Calum’s smiles were bright as they watched their mothers walk off to their cars before offering their hands to their girlfriend, making their way over to Ashton’s car.

When they got home to the apartment all three of them were in a flurry of excited kisses, hands on each other as the relief fully flooded them from the two women’s reactions to this relationship. All three of them had gone in with low expectations, having not planned for the joy-filled tears watering the mothers’ eyes as all three of them took turns spilling their hearts. It was also hard to ignore that it was the most they’d talked about their relationship in full to anyone on the outside and the feelings that they had heard spoken aloud from each member’s lips lightened all of their hearts, all of them easily falling into bed, fully at ease in what they had there.

Tag List: @irwinkitten @calpops @dammitbands @wildflowergrae @empathycth @5sosalh

[squeeneyart]

Breathe in the Salt - Chapter 11

AO3

Beta read by @thesnadger​!

Martin wants to do the right thing.

It's time to make some phone calls.

Martin resigned himself to a day of catch up. The recent circumstances hadn’t been the most conducive to completing his work tasks, but he was employed for the time being. He would wait for the right time to reopen the can of worms upstairs and in the meantime double down on the figures in front of him. The others went to work as well, going through the records they recovered from the library and verifying some information from the storage house.

After some time, he heard Sasha ask, “Martin? This place used to be a bigger fishing town, right? Before the Lukases showed up.”

Martin thought for a moment. “I don’t think it was that great to begin with? I’m sure they didn’t help, but the problem started long before I was born. There may be some people old enough to remember when things were a bit better, but it’s always been a shaky business despite the proximity to the sea.” He paused, then asked, “Is there a reason you’re looking into this? Doesn’t sound very ghost-related.”

Sasha tapped her pen on the table. “It helps to get a timeline of major events. Even if there are coincidences, a broader historical picture often helps with places where the phenomena are… far reaching.”

“What, did the lighthouse eat all the fish?” Martin laughed, but it quickly died as he continued to think about it. “...Could it do that?”

“Doubtful,” Jon said, keeping his eyes glued to his laptop. “It’s possible the family saw an existing, natural decline in job prospects and swooped in to create an even bigger vacuum they could then fill. Nothing supernatural, just horrid people finding a  good opportunity.”

Tim snorted. “While they just so happened to buy and operate a possessed lighthouse?”

Jon looked over his screen. “People can have multiple motivations. For example, Peter Lukas apparently enjoys boating and taking the possessions of others for the fun of it. The two aren’t necessarily related.” His eyes dropped back to his task.

“Fair enough. Maybe someone in the family won it in a bet, then? Swiped it from some evil lighthouse keeper.” Tim wiggled his fingers.

Martin laughed silently through his nose and went back to work, assuming his part of the conversation was completed. If he’d learned anything from the situation earlier that morning, it was to quit before weird personal details about his deadbeat fisherman dad came out and ruined the mood.

The three continued to debate possible motivations and causes, eventually trailing off and lapsing into a focused silence. The scratches of pen on paper mingled with the tapping of the keyboard. It created an arrangement that echoed over itself in a round, filling the space and tunneling upward along the staircase. Despite himself, Martin strained to hear anything that felt out of place, but he could feel no intent in the repetition. It was loud, but it was the normal, unnerving loud he’d become accustomed to over the last few months.

There wouldn’t be anything, as long as he kept the dial in the correct position. Not anything he could perceive, anyway. Were they listening, even if they couldn’t stockpile his words? Were they seething at his decision? Were they-

Martin gritted his teeth, willing himself to focus on the page in front of him. The group would call Naomi soon, and if she responded they would be one step closer to confirming his suspicions. For the time being, he would sit with his churning insides and wait.

Relief came at eleven with his lunch hour, which the others were considerate enough to wait for. He barely tasted the sandwich he’d thrown together that morning. There was a heightened atmosphere spread across him and the others, a buzz of excitement. After hours of necessary but tedious paperwork and discussion, it was time again for action.

Sasha dialed the number and waited, drumming her fingers on a pad of paper in front of her. “Available number,” she mouthed, giving a thumbs up. A few seconds passed, and she frowned and ended the call. “But, of course, it is no longer her number. I would change mine too, if people were tailing me.”

They all slumped in their chairs and braced themselves for a long, slow afternoon as Sasha looked at her pad of paper and dialed the first number on the list of many, many Naomi Hernes.

Some answered with varying levels of politeness, mostly responding with “never heard of the place” or “the name doesn’t ring any bells”. Otherwise, she left a short, scripted voicemail giving little information other than Evan’s name in hopes that Naomi would take the bait. She kept their institute out of it entirely.

When asked why, Sasha explained that this part of the investigation would have to be off record. Evidently, the Magnus Institute encouraged thorough research until it involved digging into its own benefactors. Unless they discovered a lead that didn’t implicate the Lukas family, they would be on their own.

The minutes ticked on, dragging more and more with the lack of success. After thirty minutes of fruitless calls, Sasha said, “It may take a while. We don’t know her schedule or if she’s even on this list. I was able to go off her last recorded location, but that’s about it.” Sasha leaned back in her chair, stretching her shoulders.

Jon pulled his laptop back in front of him. “We’ll need to give her time. If she’s aware of the Lukases keeping tabs on her, she’ll probably be wary of us. Keep going through the list. Tim and I will continue with the rest.”

Martin sat around for the rest of his lunch hour, losing hope with each passing call. He ought to have considered how long it could take to reach her, or that she might not answer at all. Why would she? What reason did she really have to trust a bunch of strangers?

He looked down at his phone, mindlessly flipping between apps before settling on his notes. Under Naomi’s old number was the one for Evan’s mobile, locked safely away in the storage house. Running his thumb up and down the side of his phone, he peeked up at the others through his bangs.

“I know we’re waiting to hear back from Naomi, but-” They looked at him, and he swallowed hard. “We know who it probably is, right? We have something he would know, and we could even-”

“Sorry, Martin, but that’s a big ‘no’ from me,” Tim said, crossing his arms. “If it’s him, he can wait a bit longer. If it’s not, then there could be something bad on the other side that we’re not ready to deal with, something that might even pretend to be him given the opportunity.”

There was an edge to his voice that made Martin shrink sheepishly in his seat. Tim’s face grew soft. “You want to help. I get it, but we should play it safe for now. Once we’re certain of the situation, we’ll do the heroic thing and release his trapped soul or get him out of the sound booth he’s locked himself in or whatever it is that needs to be done.”

Martin nodded glumly and looked back at his phone. After a moment, a notification popped up on the screen.

Tim: and if we get him out and hes as hot as they say he was, then who knows ;)

All the tension in Martin’s shoulders was released with a high-pitched snicker that his hand failed to stifle. The other two turned their gazes on him. Martin’s ears turned beet red at the attention he’d brought upon himself. Jon shot a suspicious glance at Tim, whose broad smile denied nothing.

--

By twenty minutes to four, there had been no sign of the person they were hoping for, ignoring  one response by someone who thought they were being hilarious. Martin had only one task remaining before it was time to leave, and once his things were carefully packed away he walked over to the stairs and placed a hand on the rail. From behind him came the sound of chairs squeaking against hard tile.

Looking over his shoulder, he saw the three had all risen from their seats and were shooting surprised looks at each other.

Martin sighed. “I’m just going up for my normal work stuff. I won’t be touching anything I’m not supposed to.” Not that the thought hadn’t crossed his mind, but if he’d wanted to do anything there in secret, which he didn’t, there was no point in doing so when other people in the building could hear every amplified word.

“Well, I’ll be coming up anyway. Might as well get a better look at what buttons you’re pressing.” Tim jogged over, waving a hand at the other two dismissively and calling over his shoulder, “Don’t worry, I’ve got this. Keep an ear on the phone and text us if something comes up.” Jon and Sasha, who’d clearly been about to walk over and join them, sat down despite their visible apprehension. Tim started up the stairs, leaving Martin to trail behind.

Before long, Tim began to rely more and more on the handrail to keep his balance. About halfway up the stairs, he held up a hand for Martin to stop and dropped his head.

“Okay,” he said, flexing his grip on the rail. He took a moment to breath. “Okay, I’m good. Damn this place, though.”

When they reached the top, Tim faced the stairs and, at a regular speaking volume, said, “Hello? Tim Stoker to Boss Man.” He waited, then checked his phone. “Huh. Guess sound does have limits in this place. Good to know.” Tim smiled at Martin. “Let’s see those switches, then.”

Martin could see that Tim’s eye was just as drawn to the dial as Martin’s as they approached the panel. Martin slowed down his process, taking care to show Tim what he was doing with the different buttons and knobs, and Tim seemed to be taking notes on his phone.

“If it would help, I have a list of everything I do up here on my desk. My handwriting isn’t the best, but it’s legible.” Martin continued to complete the steps without thinking, allowing muscle memory to take over. “Not that I’ve looked at it super recently. I also have the version in my work contract? But that would have to wait ‘til tomorrow.”

Tim nodded, shoving his phone in his pocket. “Sounds like a plan. Who knows, maybe there’s a hidden ‘I cede my right to file a claim against any injury due to imprisoned spirits’ clause or something in the fine print.” Martin laughed weakly but said nothing. Leaning on the side of the panel, Tim looked at him. “You really think it’s the guy? Evan?”

Martin’s finger slipped, missing a button entirely. “...Yeah. I can’t think of anything else it could be? And I get it, there are some things I don’t know about-”

“Lots of things, actually. Look,” Tim stood up straight, crossing his arms. “I’m not usually the lecturing type, but you seem like a well-meaning guy, and this thing could very well be taking that from your voice and turning it back on you.” There was an unmistakable discomfort, though Tim was doing his best to look authoritative. “You’re not used to this stuff, but most of it ends up being not so nice.”

Resuming his task, Martin looked down and asked, “Have you ever… studied something like that?”

From the corner of Martin’s eye, he could see Tim shift a bit and lean against the panel again. “They’re something I’ve worked on, yeah.”

After a final flip of a switch, Martin looked back at Tim whose gaze was firmly centered on the window. Martin rolled his fingertips on the surface of the panel. “Any personal experiences or advice? For my benefit?”

Tim took some time to think, and without taking his eyes from the window responded, “If you can shut them up, make sure they stay that way.” Tim let out a breath through his nose. “And if someone’s got by one, chances are they won’t be kept alive. Once a copy is made, there’s no reason to keep the original.”

The bitter twinge in Tim’s voice warned against the questions forming on the tip of Martin’s tongue. If Tim was talking from experience, the specifics were none of Martin’s business.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Tim shook his head. “So, since I was the one who turned the dial, do me a favor and keep away from it?” When Martin nodded in agreement, Tim uncrossed his arms and pushed himself off the panel. “Good. It’s a deal then. Now, when we get back down, we can pretend to have had a riveting talk about how fish hate your town.”

--

Once they were back on the main floor, disappointment washed over Martin. “Was it too much to expect anything back so soon?” He looked through his bag, making sure he hadn’t forgotten anything.

“You get used to it.” Sasha paused from collecting some papers to watch him sulk in his corner. “Can’t tell you how many follow-up calls I’ve made that led to nothing.”

“Or all the numbers we’ve gotten that were for takeout places,” Jon grumbled.

“I dunno, I’ve been pretty lucky with numbers.” Tim winked at Sasha, who shoved some of the papers into his arms.

Martin smiled, though Tim’s comment reeked of forced levity. He zipped up his bag and walked to the door. “Let me know if anything comes up?”

“Of course.” Jon pushed himself out of his chair and walked at a brisk pace to meet him. “Could I have a word with you, before you head home?” He opened the door and gestured outside.

“Oh. Sure?” He avoided Tim’s very pointed eye contact and walked through the door. Jon followed behind with his arms wrapped around himself, his thin, long-sleeved shirt doing nothing for him in the cold. “Do you need to-”

“I’ll be back inside in a moment.” His stubbornness did nothing to protect him from the shivers. “About tonight.”

With all excitement and distraction gone, the weight that had been balancing precariously in Martin’s chest dropped to his stomach like a lead ball. “Is there a way to make this not horrible?”

Jon frowned. “I don’t know the full circumstances, but ultimately, I believe you’ll be doing the right thing.” He placed a tentative hand on Martin’s shoulder and gave it a stiff pat. He immediately retracted his hand and wrapped it back around himself, keeping his eyes on anything but Martin. “You know her better than I do. I’m sure you’ll be able to handle it.”

Martin clung to that confidence and the feeling of pressure from Jon’s hand. “Okay...” He took a large breath. “Okay. I should get going then. No point in putting it off.”

Jon nodded his head and hurried back inside, leaving Martin to walk home with more courage than he’d managed to gather for himself. As the sun drifted closer to its exit, Martin latched onto that little encouragement and thought of what to say.

“Hi, Mum. I found your skin? No, that sounds weird-”

“I know there are things I don’t understand, but-”

“Mum, I found this in the attic. I know it’s yours. Do you want to-”

“A guy from work said to give you this? Wait, no-”

And so he continued, muttering under his breath all the ways he could broach the subject without it being a complete disaster.

This could change things.

Would she scream? He’d never heard her truly scream. It wasn’t her way, but this could unlock something so much worse than he’d known. How dare he bring this to her if she’d hidden it for a good reason? That seemed a likely reaction.

Would she talk to him about her time in the water? Would she reminisce about a time before things went wrong, when he would watch her from the porch? Too hopeful to consider, but nice to think about.

Perhaps she would tell him to return it to the attic, and it would never be spoken of again. Things would be as they always were, just with a new secret to hang over them both. Another weight on their shoulders, another little barrier keeping them from being anything but what they had been for decades now.

Jon had said it would be the right thing to do. He would know about these things more than Martin, right? His word had to be worth something. No matter how she might react, this had to happen sooner or later.

The walk home sped past like nothing. The front door was before him, and then closed behind, and he felt more than ever like he was on a track, being moved from place to place without any consultation of his will. The night proceeded like clockwork, dinner prepared and completed with only his voice and the occasional terse response from his mother for filler noise. It wasn’t yet time.

The fog had rolled in thick as evening turned to night, and they looked out into it from the front porch, her breaths steady and bracing. Through his barely open eyes, Martin saw a hint of rolling waves before the salt brought out the tears and washed away his vision.

He walked his mother back inside and helped her prepare for bed. Once she was settled against the headboard, Martin coughed and began in a low, gentle tone. “Mum. Can I talk to you about something?”

She frowned, tired contempt rippling across her face. “Must you now? You’ve had all night to talk.”

Martin clenched and unclenched his teeth. “It’s important. Please, it’s...it’s about something I found in the attic.”

His mother froze, her hand gripping the quilt on her lap. Annoyance gave way to a wide, blank stare that brushed just over his shoulder. “I did not ask you to retrieve anything from there.”

Martin shrank back. “Yes, I know. I just went up to make sure there hadn’t been a-any issues with the roof after some of the rain recently since we keep some things in storage up there, and I wanted t-”

“Bring it to me. Now.” Her voice was quiet, almost too quiet for him to hear.

“Oh. Right. Of course.” Martin stood too quickly, grabbing the rickety bedside table for balance and causing a loud thump as one of its legs slammed into the ground. The dim lamp on top of it wobbled, creating unnerving shadows on the walls. He winced. “Sorry. I’ll be right back.”

He left the room and let himself breathe. Okay, he thought, this was a good thing. He walked up the stairs two at a time with his long legs, speeding down the hall while keeping his footsteps as quiet as possible. She wanted him to bring it to her. He would do as she ordered. Everything would be okay, he told himself, ignoring the strange sinking feeling in his gut.

It was where he’d left it, folded loosely in the corner to avoid any possible creasing. It pressed heavily into his hands, and he brushed off a little more dust as he walked back down the stairs. At his mother’s door, he paused and adjusted it one more time to a position he felt was the most dignified. Then, he entered the room.

She was looking out her window, through the misted glass and into the fog that surrounded their home. Her hands were limp over the quilt, one placed gently on top of the other. When the door clicked shut behind him, there was an almost imperceptible turn of her head, though he couldn’t see anything but her clenched jaw.

“Mum? I’ve brought it. Do you want me to place it on the bed? I-”

His mother turned to face him fully, and as her eyes locked onto him a torrent of pure fury slammed into his chest. He stumbled, the selkie skin almost escaping his large, clumsy hands.

“Give it to me.” Her rasping voice made Martin’s throat hurt, and her neck seemed to throb with effort. When he failed to move his legs, she forced out, “now, you stupid man!”

He tripped forward, and when he was within reach she snatched the skin from him. She clasped it to her chest just as Jon had that morning, with the same smoothing motion over its surface. Unsure of what to say, he became a statue. Every muffled intake of air burned down into his chest.

Taking in a shuddering breath, his mother whispered, “Leave.”

“What?” There was a painful crack in his voice.

“Leave me alone.”

--

The only thing he could see were his own near-faded footsteps as he climbed up the cliff side, the fog doing well to obscure the surrounding foliage.

He needed to be out of the damned fog. That’s why he’d fled the house, and the beach, and the crashing waves. That’s all it was down there, a house adrift in grey nothing, and he was too loud of a presence to truly give her solitude with his tramping feet on the floorboards upstairs.

It was past sundown when he reached the end of his climb, and the corner lights looked as much as they had the night before. As they had on any other night he’d spent wandering the dark, emptying streets. Pulling his coat more tightly around himself, Martin marched forward, drawn to the only other place to which he had a key.

He looked up before he could think too hard about it, and the sky bore down on him until all he could do was fall back into the gaping pit waiting just behind his heel. Had it felt like this before? Yes, it had, hadn’t it? A giant emptiness in the ground waiting to swallow him whole, and as he had seen it, so from it the vertigo had come. Only now it was polite enough to slow down and let him see the horror below.

He woke up on the ground with a groan, just outside of the florist shop. It was closed for the night, and there was no one inside or out to stare as he lifted himself out of a puddle, the arm of his coat soaked through with water. He was halfway through trying to regain some semblance of focus when he realized his glasses had fallen from his nose and were now lying on the ground beside him.

Relieved that his impaired vision was no worse than usual, he reached over to pick up his glasses. As he did so, he glimpsed at the water’s surface, and for just a moment the blurry vision of his face looked just enough like someone else. He gasped, snatching his glasses and scrambling to sit on the curb.

She’d never called Martin that. She’d had other ways of showing her frustration with him, but that… that had been for someone else. Of course. He hadn’t even thought to warn her of his re-entry, so he had gone into her room and with just that lamp by her bed the doorway must’ve been so dark-

The pounding in his head grew more fervent, and he curled into himself until he faced the ground, head between his knees. As the minutes crawled by, the pain began to subside, and eventually he was able to stand, even if there was a slight shake to his legs.

“Twenty years and still you don’t learn.”

He continued without reason, thankful for the empty road ahead, his arm going cold in its dripping sleeve.

[9uk]

The Stranger I Met On The Bus

⌲ summary : Your life became a mess of colours the day you decided to leave the luxurious comfort of your home and board the same bus a wandering Namjoon was on.

⌲ pairing : namjoon x reader

⌲ word count : 12.6k

⌲ genre:  slow burn......fluff, angst, smut, strangers2lovers...? or not. unrequited love but fate does it thing ye

⌲ warnings : rough times man, sexual scenes

a/n: it’s super messy & horrible i know...but i’ve been dying to get this out and i’ve been feeling all sorts of things as of late :’

“Is there something you need?” He starts, after having mulled over the reason behind your incessant gawking for long.  

You blinked.

Something you need? Was there something you need? Why was he suddenly questioning you?

How are you going to tell him that he looks so much like somebody you used to know?

The both of you stayed right there, staring at each other with an equal amount of confusion.

You couldn’t take your eyes off him the first time you saw him. It was a brief, yet impactful eye contact shared. The split second his eyes locked with your own had your insides whirring like a washing machine. He looked around your age, perhaps a little older. Obvious dimples and agonisingly familiar mono lids. Something about the way he left your orbs as fast as they landed on them made you feel like something was going on.

It was too quick.

Too fast till it exposed his scheme. The guy had been watching you the whole time, and you had successfully caught him red-handed. Or maybe you were seeing things. Feeling things. Things you could not decipher what were.

Coincidence is a strange occurrence not many have in their lives. Some call it fate, but really you’d like to believe it as just pure luck. It’s baffling how a mere stranger could be the reason behind your insides shimmering with excitement again.

The bus station was bustling with business men rushing off to their destinations, families making their way back home, or even, wandering souls who have lost their sense of direction in life, travelling far away from their abodes to seek comfort in the beauty of escaping. Take you, for example. To sum it up, you were running away from some family matters back at home. Ones that require way more energy and attention than you can handle.

You were just in line to collect your ticket for the entire bus journey. Quite a long and drawn-out ride, you would say. You silently thanked your brain for the abrupt cue to bring your book along just as you stepped out of the house. 11 hours. What on earth were you going to do spending half a day coped up in a long, empty carriage?

“Nothing,” Your lips finally discovered the courage to open up and let a word out. The exchange of weirded out, perplexed faces of expression resumed.

He raises his brows slightly, expecting you to provide the actual cause as a continuation.

It was a millisecond away from him turning his head back into his own business. But a millisecond seems a tad too long for your short fused patience on a Friday morning.

“What? I said nothing.” The last word is shot like a poison dart to the neck—attack acting as the best shield—and the stranger is utterly surprised by the switch in attitude.

He gets the red-light, diverting eyes to the front in an instant and pressing his lips into a firm line. Your feistiness cooled down and regret immediately settled in as your tone replays in your head.

You absolutely hated repeating yourself and towards the man who resembled him too much, you lost all the rationality you contained. It probably looked like you were a temperamental piece of shit who obviously had some serious anger issues, making it tough to convince him otherwise. You want to apologise straight away, you really do. But you find yourself tongue-tied wondering if you should say it with the pronoun or not. By the time you’ve arrived to a decision, it was too late. Apologising a few minutes after the outburst of questionable annoyance would just seem...weird.

Like you have been thinking about him all this while.

Which isn’t true, at all.

A tiny seed of ego sprouted until you were crossing your arms in fumes, mainly irritated at your own cranky behaviour.

You swore to the heavens that you were much nicer than the nasty impression you left on him.

It was just, a slip of the tongue. At an absurdly wrong timing.

Yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him those two words that could clear your name.

Two hours of terrible attempts at falling asleep. The interaction with the handsome lad troubling the entrance of your dreams. The initial road is a bumpy one, the movements of the vehicle not coordinating with your pulse. One hundred and twenty minutes of stressing over the stranger of familiarity just inches away from you. He smelled like Seven thousand and two hundred seconds of—

“Excuse me, I want to get off.”

The lids you have been trying to press shut to let the unconsciousness close in on you flew open. Back jerking straight up, you realise you were in his way of leaving his seat.

The bus was almost empty, randomly splattered with a few passengers who did not need anything outside of this carriage. Vision a blur, you can only make out a big bright red panel that signified a gas station. He is a man patient enough to let you settle out of your trance before making space for his exit.

“Sorry.”

You snatch your purse and decided to get out of the bus as well.

From behind, a giant figure looms over yours and a sense of smallness washes over you.

Was your seat buddy always this tall?

You never noticed.

The mart at this particular gas station sucks. Out of 10, it barely even made pass 4.

You scanned the rows of snacks once more, as if doing just that would bring your cheese rings into existence. Forget about cheese rings, there weren’t even cheese balls available! The staple of snacks, king of crunches—to you, at the very least.

Shoving your hands into the pockets of your hoodie, you sighed in exasperation.

It is then you are suddenly reminded of the encounter with the guy sitting beside you.

It was time you got rid of the perpetual habit of yours to unleash your annoyance on anyone or anything.

After carefully reviewing every item under the snacks section, you ended up furrowing your brows at a bag of sour cream and onion chips. The grumble rolling off your stomach forces you to grab it off the shelf.  

The kiosk is filled with people who were in the same bus as you, but yet you find yourself searching for a specific someone. You remember paying him no mind when you made a beeline for the mart, not wanting to waste anymore time from this precious brief stopover. For the familiar face that you still cannot put together the similarities. The uncanny resemblance in both their heights. It’s a funny thing because you always have a thing for guys around 6 feet tall.

The aluminium crinkles in your grasp as you fail to spot him. And there you are, left wondering about where the tall guy had went.

Placing your sole purchase onto the counter, you glanced over the lollipops decorated in a spiral. You absentmindedly stare at the wide array of bright colours with the beeping sound of your chips being scanned into the register.

Your focus seems to drift away, for you don’t seem to notice the cashier announcing the price of your potato chips.

“I’ll have this too,” Snapping out of the sandcastle building, you fish out a five dollar bill to the poor shop assistant who only just began her shift. “Thanks.”

Stepping outside, a fresh breath of wind whooshes past your face and you never felt this alive. Mainly because you’ve also never been up this early for so long and the morning air really hits different. It’s been forever since you actually witnessed the sun in its early form. It’s been also so long since you’ve had breakfast, and it being a bag of chips is fabulous and says a lot about your eating habits.

Most of the passengers are queuing for the public washroom, some are still lingering in the store heating up a grilled cheese or whatever. And so you drive yourself out of the lane and wander around with the remaining time left.

That would be a lie, truth to be told.

You weren’t just basically wandering around.

You were wandering around in hopes of bumping into that man.

Your legs brought your idling form to the corner of the walls of petrol kiosk.

You were not wholly surprised when you saw exactly what your mind pictured; him standing there leaned back against the white bricks and maybe, a cigarette in hand.

Except there was no tobacco or the cap he was wearing earlier on in sight, just him lowering the cellphone from his ear with dejection written all over his face. Did someone just relay a piece of bad news to him? Or did his girlfriend break up with him over the phone?

You stand there, taking in his gorgeous side profile and the cute tip of his nose you want to kiss. His Adam apple bobs as he swallows and tucks the phone back into the pocket of his navy pants. No one else has the ability to wear an outfit so baggy and casual and look like they belong on the runway. It’s like he knows which style suits him best and puts each piece of clothing to their fullest potential. His exposed brown locks fall over his eyes and your fingers itch to run through them and sweep his hair back.

It is in the middle of your not-so-subtle gawking when his gaze rises and falls onto you.

The expression on his face drops even further if possible, and he stumbles for the right words. The following squint of his eyes tells you that he did not thoroughly enjoy your presence. You roll the ball of the sweet in your palm nervously.

“W-Wha—How long have you been standing there?” The doubt flows out of his mouth and a clear displeasure in his tone.

Shorter than he thinks, definitely. You’ve only just arrived.

“A couple of seconds ago.”

The suspicion of you eavesdropping is not completely wiped off his face despite your answer. The despondency from before has somewhat grown into vexation, and he is ready to leave you alone in this alley.

The tension between the two of you is unbearable, like he has nothing to say to you or even annoyed by your existence while your fingers wrap around the lollipop stick even tighter.

“Hey,” You step in his way, but bodies not touching at all.

Gulping, you raise the candy in front of you.

“I-I wanted to apologise for earlier on,” You ignored the stammering and carried on. “I was being plain rude to you for no reason at all. I was having a bad morning and you just look so much like someone I used to know I-” You’re rambling and he cuts you off deadly.

“Is that all?”

Your breath hitches in your throat and you realise there’s nothing else left to say. God, the lollipop in your hand makes you feel so stupid now. He’s trying to dismiss you as quickly as possible while you wish to become acquaintances with him. You were overthinking it. He is saving the embarrassment for you. This man was driving you crazy. Firstly from how scarily similar he looks to him and second from how you wanted to know everything about him now. The impression he left on you is near perfect—patient, understanding and  an offbeat sadness adorning his features.

And the impression you left on him is a horrible, distasteful one. A kind of impression you would never want anyone to have of yourself, let alone the guy who looked so ravishing and have been nothing but nice towards you.

Why would someone acting blue be any of your business?

Precisely, because it’s this guy who you caught staring at you in the bus interchange and it’s the same guy who you lashed out at and again, the guy who you are currently offering a goddamned lollipop to.

You wanted to know who he was calling and why he looked so sad. You wanted so badly to wrap him in your arms and tell him that everything’s going to be fine. The important question however, remains untouched. Why were you trying to fix somebody when you were so broken yourself? You have been so deprived of proper love and care that you want him. It’s a rash burst of infatuation for that man.

If this is what the hours at the start of the day did to your buzzed head and racing heart, you finally understand why you constantly slept in till the peace of afternoon came.

All in all, you just needed him to accept the apology and move on.

You painfully muster the courage to avert your eyes from pink ball and look up at him.

“Yeah, that is all.”

A lie, because you have so much more to say to him and is in no position to put the thoughts out like that. There was no other way to explain a peculiar connection you one-sidedly felt with him without sounding creepy as hell.

He simply takes your answer as it is and receives the strawberry lollipop from you.

The way his slender fingers brushes over the back of your hand sends a shiver straight to your spine. He was warm and cold, polite yet dismissive. A walking contradiction, truly. A contrast that has you secretly swooning over him even more.

Nonetheless, you were glad he did not shove a rejection in your face.

Of all things that you could have done, you foolishly got yourself into a predicament with him like this.  

Once everyone was comfortably seated, the bus driver hops on and whirs the bulky engine to life once more.

When you returned to your seat, the wrapper had already been ripped off and the lollipop was being savoured in his mouth already. You try to hide the blooming smile on your face.

You were busy plucking the petals of a non-existent flower in your mind, contemplating at maximum whether or not you should strike a conversation with him.

If you did, you played out the different possibilities of responses he could have and how to carry on talking no matter what. It’s been quite some time since you’ve actually tried to talk to a stranger, and it was hard. But the desire to get to know him is diminishing all the worries bubbling inside you. When there’s a will, there’s a way indeed.

Rehearsing your voice in your head, you wait for the perfect timing to start speaking.

He was not doing anything much, still suckling on the ball of sugar and looking out the window.

You can’t help but admire his angelic features for a while. The cosiness of this coach granted the close proximity you had with him, allowing you to be able to catch a whiff of his smell. He didn’t smell like the sharp colognes of business men that flooded office areas, but rather, he had a soft lotion scent that was not too thick for your nose to hurt, yet subtle which has you craving for more.

Topped off with that coldness in his attitude and gentlemanly ways, you really are beginning to develop a tiny crush on him.

Very, tiny.

You have not much time left, it was easy to figure when someone was shamelessly planting their eyes on you.

He had no earpiece on, which was a good sign because you hated it when people tried to interrupt your music. And end up asking something so stupid, like your name.

“I never asked, but what is your name?”

Loud and clear, not wanting any slip-ups. The thread of tension that was initially pulled taut between the two of you seemed to have loosened on your side.

Like mentioned, you’ve actually browsed through all types of replies he could give.

He could have probed about the reason behind you wanting to know, or he could play games with you and not tell you, keeping it as a mystery unsolved so that you wouldn’t stop talking to him about it.

But no, his answer was the most difficult for the continuation of a conversation.

He is deeply distracted by the greenery outside, peeling his line of sight off the window pane and finally directing it to you.

He thinks—for whatever reason in this world you can about your own name—before gently replying.

“Namjoon.”

A blatant response which leaves you with not much options left to venture.

However, it doesn’t stop you from appreciating each syllable of his name. Nam and Joon just goes so well with each other just like how the colour of his cap matches his pants and you are naturally repeating after him, his name leaving your lips in such a blissful way. You are officially going bonkers for this man.

He doesn’t pay any more attention to you, turning to view the scenery that runs past the moving vehicle. The passing trees and blue sky are more interesting to look at than talking to you very apparently.

“That’s a nice name.” You pointed out and he flashes you a faint smile before going back to the window.  

You note that he doesn’t ask for yours and an unexpected feeling of hurt thuds at your chest.

You take it as a telltale sign that Namjoon, is not interested in you like the way you are in him. All practice of the conversation gets deleted and thrown into the trash bin like a child’s silly doodling, and you sink back into your seat, trying to not feel all stupid and crestfallen.

Nothing else is said between the both of you until the next rest stop.

This time, you buy a packet of bread and a hotdog bun because it’s lunch.

He is no longer standing at some secluded corner of this new gas station, just shifting on both feet just outside the doors of this e-mart.

From inside, you spot Namjoon at the same place from before. You tear the package of the ready-made bun and observe him for a moment.

Namjoon had been repetitively trying to call someone. Each time the line reaches nowhere, his jaw clenches even harder and he tongues at his cheeks in a disputable infuriation.

Though, that is all you can see. You have yet to fully understand his actual situation.

The bells jingle as you push through the glass doors to exit.

Again, he removes the phone from his ear and angrily taps on the screen as if that would help his call get through.

“Here,” You offer him the bread. Butter flavoured, nothing too much to be disliked by anyone. You haven’t seen Namjoon eat anything from the start of the journey up till now and you are genuinely concerned about his hunger.

“Oh, no thanks. I’m not hungry.” You know that phrase too well. A statement someone would say even when they in fact are hungry, but the loss of appetite is too overwhelming for the empty stomach. The loss of appetite can be caused by several factors—like one being too bothered about something on their mind.

You retract the bread in hand from him, and fall silent.

“Do you want to use mine?”

You considered for a long moment before raising the suggestion.

The rest stop in the middle of nowhere would destroy reception for some phones, but yours could call from almost anywhere. Well, as the line contract promised.

Namjoon looks up and at last, a glint of care swirling in his orbs.

You wonder who he is trying to dial.

“Really?” It’s like he cannot believe the small offer you made, different from the other times you buy him food. You guess Namjoon really did not have a thing for food at gas stations.

“Yeah,” You click your phone to the dialling page.

“Mine should be able to get through.”

He swipes the device off your hand faster than light, not caring about the desperation he is displaying.

“Thanks.” He mumbles as he hastily keys in whoever’s number that was. It is soft, but it could still be heard.

The call seems to really manage to get through and he mouths an ‘excuse me’ before striding off to somewhere more private for the conversation to happen.

Munching away at your hotdog bun, you watch him grow frustrated as the call goes on, Namjoon crossly gesturing with his hands to try to get his point across and the locking of his jaw every time he spat out a word. Then, his eyebrows are knitted in fury, like he had just met with news of anguish. He stomps around, sometimes even yelling into your phone and at some point in time, you were afraid that he would smash your phone into pieces. The vein at his neck visibly pops and you could tell how many emotions he was trying so hard to contain. Emotions like anger, disappointment, confusion—all at once, bombarding poor Namjoon.

The person on the other end likely ended the call, for Namjoon stares ahead at a red stationary motorcycle with emptiness crowding his eyes. His lips were no longer aggressively moving to negotiate whatever that was, his hand turned motionless as well—and the phone lowers, just like the previous times. This time though, with a knowing answer and clarity clouding his glistening eyes.

His hands were tightly balled into fists and your phone almost gets crushed. Even from afar, you can see the rapid rise and falls of his chest and the grief stinging his eyes. You skipped through the hesitation and made your way over to the bull.

“Hey are you alright—”

“Thanks for the call.”

He is quick to shut you off, slamming the device onto your palm and strolls away to probably hide his moment of sorrow.

Namjoon looked more upset than anything you’d imagine. And it broke your heart to see him this unhappy.

“Namjoon!” You yelled after him.

Tracing his footsteps, his back faces you.

You can’t explain the need surging throughout you to just step forward and smooth your hand over the broad expanse of his back, the itch to calm him down and ask what was wrong. But you weren’t really in a position to do so.

The clock ticks a whole silent round before he slowly turns around with a long exhale.

The sight of his tear-stained cheeks and red eyes wrenches hard at your heart.

Strangers had boundaries, and you yearned to cross them with Namjoon.

“Do you…want a hug?” There was much nothing left on your plate that you could offer.

Awkwardly natural, the distance between your two bodies closes.

Everything afterwards happened in a blink; his head sinking heavily onto the blade of your shoulder, his arms wrapped around your body and your face smashing into his well-built chest.

Heaven, that’s the best description you can make of burying yourself into Namjoon arms.

You were supposed to hug him, and not the other way around.

He takes a deep breath, tightening his hold on you and his nose digging into your hair, making you fight back a shiver as you carefully rest your hands on his lower back. The smell of his lotion grows even stronger when you are this close to him, and you wished you could stay like this with him forever.  

His breathing was still hard and you could feel his heart frantically hammering onto yours, as if having suffered a major attack.

The hug was quiet but comfortable. Everything with Namjoon felt comfortable if you even make sense.

“I needed this.” He mumbles into your skin, pulling away seconds after, causing you to cling onto every last bit of him.

The two of you returned to the bus straight away, with no words exchanged.

However, you can feel Namjoon beginning to open up to you.

Still, you’d like to take your time to understand him.

Feelings settled and heart at ease, the subject of the call and his breakdown was never broached again.

He was, as usual, peering at the outer layer of the woods along the road. Namjoon observes them with a concentration not to be disregarded.

It almost feels like he was scripting every line and carve on their barks, counting the number of leaves on each branch and watching how mighty they stood tall—which was technically impossible, but with Namjoon, one would never know.

“Ah, by the way,” You try to casually start a conversation, but at the same time you feel bad for interrupting his tree-watching session. “Where are you headed to?”

“Uh,” He hesitates, the area between his eyes scrunching up. “I… actually have no idea.”

He knew where he was going. But it looks like plans got ruined midway.

Was it because of the phone call? You promised yourself not to poke that matter. Not now.

“Huh. Same here. Probably the last stop or something.” You shrugged, nonchalant.

This huge bus was driving from the city to various locations—from small towns to farms and other districts basically.

You didn’t have a place in mind; you just needed to get out of that hellhole.

He widens his eyes at you because it is not all the time you randomly find someone as lost as you are.

Namjoon really has nowhere to go now. The most he could do would be to buy another trip back into the city—but that was the option he’d leave for last. Other than the mortifying decision to backpedal into your old routes, he could only face frontwards and hope for the best. It would be so easy to return to his hometown—which was along the way—where his parents would more than gladly welcome him with open arms, but the last thing he wanted was to become a burden to his family.

“You really don’t know where exactly you are going to?”

Taking in his words, you had to double confirm. Namjoon looked like someone who clearly knew all the directions in his life, knew for sure what to do and what not to do. Looks can be deceiving, after all.

“I wish I did.” His body turns to face you now, away from the window and the sudden attention is making you panic a little.

“Honestly, there aren’t many places I could go to either, so.” He points out, acting more like he was engaged in a conversation with himself rather than you.

At that, you could only smile in relation. Strangely, the both of you were very similar in thoughts but worlds apart in expression.

Namjoon enclosed his heart and mind, choosing the appropriate timing to open them and to specifically who. Meanwhile, you consistently let yourself out there even though you try not to, it just happens without intention. But the outgoing exterior eventually fades as you start becoming comfortable with keeping low and quiet as well. Many people would be shocked upon witnessing a whole 360 change in your demeanour, just as they would with Namjoon turning talkative.

“I wish I did too.” A light chuckle spills past your lips and as well as you are attempting to hide the misery suffocating your lungs, you don’t think you’re doing a great job at it.

Namjoon inspects your expression for a fraction, not adding on to the conversation anymore, before he throws his attention back at the greens.

Somehow, there formed an unspoken agreement between the two of you that the last stop would be your destinations.

As the trip went by, the number of passengers onboard gradually decreases, each and every one of them assured of where to alight and where they must reach. You were slightly envious of, especially the complete families who got down the bus with joy spread across their faces. They must have a home that is like a safe haven to them, one where the members could retreat to after a long day in comfort and bliss.

One you could never afford to have, despite how fortunate you were.

There was never an end to the screams and fights, the smashing of objects and the destroying of furniture like they costed nothing. The amount of terrible sleep you get every passing day, progressively shredding your sleep schedule to uneven strips.

It wasn’t until the start of spring when you arrived at a decision to leave home. School was still ongoing, but a break was urgent. Anymore of the nonsense you receive at both your workplace and home, you’re afraid you might just turn haywire and end up being sent to the mental hospital. Throw your mentally and emotionally unstable ass into the asylum—your parents had every aspect to perfectly do so.

“But miss, you can’t just leave like that.” Jungkook, one of your dad’s most trusted security personnel and chauffeur begs you to stay put in your sickening stuffy room with his undying persistence.

“Yes I can. Watch me.” He refused to open the gate no matter how hard you try to plea him and this was your final resort. Flinging your bag over the barrier, it lands on the other side of freedom with a heavy thud and that’s when Jungkook relents.

“Oh my god, Y/N!” You know he’s pissed when he says your name.

 Jungkook was slightly older than you, but the both of you grew up together. The family feuds put him in an uncomfortable situation at times, but he wasn’t to step into matters as such. 

Although maintained at a professional distance, it doesn’t stop him from bringing your favourite cake into the bedroom you would always be found hiding under the sheets from all that fighting. After the storm subsides, Jungkook always appeared with a cake and drink in hand to appease your frightened form, the desserts acting as a type of consolation he couldn’t provide. He was a sweet guy, but you never saw him that way. Jungkook was like an older brother to you. And he wasn’t that good at covering up his silly crush on you.

“Fine!” He unlocks the gate in the most passive-aggressive way ever and you only giggle.

You have him wrapped around your finger and it was no doubt an advantage to you could use all the time.

“Stay safe, regardless.”

You hold both his hands in the most dramatic way ever, swaying up to him like a Disney princess.

When you lean in close to his face, Jungkook is rendered speechless, a flushed mess.

“I will and thank you.” You hum sweetly and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

“Byeeeeee!” You sing and happily leave the stifling confines of the house, as well as an embarrassed Jungkook standing rooted to the ground.

Your eyes never leave Namjoon on the third rest stop.

The both of you sat in the convenience store, devouring bowls of instant ramen.

You wonder how one phone call can lead to all of this.

Everything Namjoon did was hurtingly adorable to you. Your heart twisted in a wickedly joyful manner when he furrowed his brows. You swear your eyes were pooling with endearment when his cheeks were stuffed full of noodles. The type of attraction you were having for Namjoon was fascinating, like never before. A kind of flower you’ve never had blooming wildly in your chest for a long time. You wonder how he feels about you. Whether he sees you in the same light or not.

The bowls sitting in front of the two of you are now empty, stomachs filled with content.

You stared at Namjoon and Namjoon stared back at you, your eyes never averting because you feel like you could drown in his pretty brown orbs forever. Namjoon breaks the contact and raises a question before you could.

“Is your shampoo jasmine?” He flickered his gaze to your hair, arms coming up to rest on the small table barely enough for two. His face suddenly grows bigger, featuring becoming clearer as the gap in between is shortened.

“Yeah,” You breathed out when he moving towards you. He was leaning so close to your face, you feel yourself unknowingly reversing a little.

Then, everything vanishes and he relaxes back on the chair again.

“And h-how did you know?”

“Someone I used to know.” His voice comes out quiet.

The both of you grabbed lollipops before returning to the coach.

This was the final stretch before the journey ends, the longest one amongst the rest and the fatigue is starting to consume you whole, eyelids feeling heavy.

You don’t know how or when, but a shoulder is pressed to your cheek as hand lightly shakes you.

“We’re here,” He says, stirring you awake.

The driver is long gone, in the restroom or something. 

You jump off the coach, butt and neck feeling sore. 

The two of you stood in front of a shredded motel. 

“Looks like we’ll have to make do.”

The room was smaller than it could have already been, the ceiling paint flaking like horrid dry skin and the cream wallpapers looked like they were going to crumble into dust by a touch of the finger. The first blow is delivered to the layer of glass, cracks beginning to form in the center. Something smells. There’s a distinct stench lingering in the atmosphere of this room. Your eyes dart over to the bathroom. A dirty sock naps comfortably on the rusty towel rack—no, hibernates—because the navy piece of laundry seems to be having the time of its life stinking up possibly the entire motel with its century-old odour.

You switched your life goal to become as unbothered as that abandoned sock.

A second hit to the fragile material, completely falling apart but still you try your best to hold it together for the sake of Namjoon’s optimism.

“Sure we do.” You mumble, but it is amplified in the tiny space.

The volume of your voice was one thing, but Namjoon feels more gigantic than ever, his large frame towering over yours and unknowingly you shrink. He looked so much bigger than you noticed from before and it is evident that you have definitely been noticing him for quite a bit. It must be the size of the room, and not the rapid blossoming of your attraction for him.

The only bed sandwiched between both your standing forms was yet, another issue to be solved. There wasn’t even a couch to be spared, you had to place your bags on the crusty floor. You can’t even hide the grimace crumpling your features when you spot a black dot faded under the white sheets, crawling its way to the pillow. That sight itself, shattered the already broken glass pane of tolerance into fragments.

“Trust me when I say this isn’t the worst I’ve seen.”

Namjoon chirps in, trying to lift the frown off your disgusted face. “Honestly, for a place beside a gas station, this is-”

“Not okay at all.”

You arrived at a decision. And that is to get the hell out of this trash can before Namjoon’s witty tongue and strong cologne persuades you otherwise.

An idea flashes in your mind.

No one would have guessed that you were the daughter of a pair of millionaire parents.

Dressed humbly in a hoodie and leggings, you passed off as any other normal person. You did not fancy the wealthy status plastered onto you since birth. Instead, you actually wished for a simple, blissful life. It was true that money could solve most problems, but you were seeking for another kind of happiness. A happiness so genuine and pure. The grass is always greener on the other side. You weren’t planning to let Namjoon know about your family background at all, but the circumstances the both of you were caught in left you with no other choice.

As soon as you laid your eyes on the bed bug having the time of its life under the sheets, you boldly grabbed Namjoon’s hand and flew out of the musty motel.

The sun was already diving into the horizon, daylight beginning to feel insufficient.

The haggard old man manning the petrol kiosk watches the two of you exit the rundown building and if your vision did not fail you—he sniggers to himself.

Namjoon seems to have noticed this as well, head still turned to face the disheveled man after the two of you made your way to the grass patch by the main road. You stare at Namjoon looking at the man. He was unpacking some boxes of food, and you wonder what is so intriguing about that that Namjoon can’t peel his eyes off of him.

“It’s not easy,” He finally faces front, upon reaching the road. You tuck your fists into the warm pockets of your hoodie.

“What is?”

“Working at a gas station.” Namjoon mumbles lowly, fallen deep in thought.

You contemplate for a while before choosing to not say anything to that. You don’t know how to reply to that anyway.

The air outside was not the freshest, but it was heaven to your lungs compared to the interior.

Your first instinct was to call Jungkook.

This subconscious behaviour of yours has yet to be eradicated, and you figured it must have to do with the fact that Jungkook was the man who could do anything and everything in your eyes. Plus, he was someone you turned to habitually whenever you were met with a crisis. Major or minor.

“Y/N! You better get your ass home by midnight or else your father will behead me!”

“Woah, chill Jungkook. Can you help me see if there are any decent places nearby to stay at?”

Jungkook could easily track you down, a feature your parents granted him to better watch over you.

“What in the world are you doing there?!”

“Sorry. But please help me?” That is all you can provide. Namjoon raises a brow at your conversation over the phone. Darkness was racing to swallow the sky whole and there was not much time left for you to find shelter. You mentally prepared yourself for a sleepless night ahead.

“You’re kidding. There is literally nothing but dirt on that piece of wasteland. What did you expect? One of your father’s lavish villas to pop out magically in front of your eyes?” Jungkook sounds extremely frustrated with the situation you landed yourself in. What he doesn’t and wouldn’t need to know, is that you have someone by your side.

“However…”

All hope is not lost.

“Tell me more about this fantastic idea of yours.” Namjoon’s incessant questioning sparks an urge in you to just go up to him and shut him up with a kiss. Out of annoyance, of course. Containing the thought, you continue denying him of an answer.

“Just wait and see,”

You can’t believe it slipped your mind that the last stop was on the outlines of this town, which meant that the sea was close.

The beach that barely had any visitors was probably just a few miles away from this polluted gas station. The only staff who worked there was the old man from before reaching seventy, unkempt appearance for wandering spirits in this isolated town to see.

The place was derelict and untidy. Litter scattered across the road and the walls reeked of rotten flesh.

Finally, the sea approaches you and Namjoon. Compared to the gas station, the area wrapping the beach was spotless and your mouth falls open slightly. Walking towards the edge of the small cliff, down below laid the fine sand that reflected the dusty evening glow who’s rays of pink and purple are slowly overshadowing the initial golden.

It was then you realised the sun had never meant to eagerly head to bed, it was instead fighting against time, refusing to fade into the sea line this early.

Namjoon must be as struck as you are by the sight, for he doesn’t say a word, only calmly tracing your steps.

The both of you sat on the short grass, quietly admiring the sunset-tainted coast and watching the waves accumulate strength each time it leaves and arrives.

Legs dangling in the air and bags thrown on the ground, you wonder when a time like this would ever happen again. The orange sky gently toasting your eyes and the prickly sensation on the hamstrings. A guy who resembled your ex-boyfriend sitting by your side.  A possible tent in your backpack.

A smile stubbornly grows on your face and you let out a soft giggle at the strange events of today, shaking your head at the foolishness.

“What’re you gleaming about?”

The tranquility is not broken by his voice, only further accentuating it.

“Huh? Oh. Nothing much really, haha…just everything maybe,”

You turn your head to look for his reaction at your contradiction and his eyes capture yours in bewilderment.

“I see. Don’t worry, I understand.” He smiles and the world vanishes, your heartbeat—the only thing you can feel.

“Sometimes the only thing you can do is laugh. When everything’s too painful, when everything’s too joyous, when everything’s going downhill or when everything’s so…serene.”

His fingers clutches onto a random stone and he begins meddling with it.

“Maybe all at once.” You lean back a little, easing into the conversation.

Namjoon chuckles.

“Sometimes though, you gotta vent it out!”

He swings his arm back and throws it forward, catapulting the innocent stone into somewhere in the salty water. It disappears from sight, so you would never know.

When the second-hand hit a quarter to eight, the moon’s motherly appearance persuaded the mischievous yolk to fully drop into the ocean. Nightfall pays a visit.

The possible tent in your backpack.

The only times you have ever slept outside of the neatly painted walls of your enormous room (excluding the walk-in wardrobe), would be sleeping over in the marvellous pink doll house bedroom belonging to your best friend. That counts…right?

There were a few camps here and there in your entire education journey. The thrill of water rafting with the bumpy rocks, the struggles of kayaking and capsizing in the dirty river, the tall grass that crept up your knees and the mud your track shoes sank into. You wish you knew how all of those felt, because every time your class was required to have the time of their lives in a camp site, your teacher would never pass you a consent form for that. Dejected, you already knew the reason behind the disallowing of your participation. It was too harsh for your body and health, they’d always repeat to you and you would stomp to your bedroom and make a mess out of your sheets with piping hot tears.

You hate living a sheltered life. You detested it, even though some may cry for days to have a pampered life like yours. Call it ungrateful, but you would rather live a simple life  with simple happiness. Because money may be the manifestation of bliss, but it also creates problems that it itself cannot be able to solve.

However, money helped Jungkook to create this circular object to pop into a tent once you push the button located inside the mechanism.

“Why and how do you have this?” Namjoon sends you a questionable look.

“Don’t ask. I…uh, like to come prepared.”

You lied. Jungkook sneaked this compacted tent into your bag without you even knowing.

But he informed you about it over the phone and it came in handy at the very least.

“Well then, go ahead and press the activation button.”

“Erm…” You hesitated. What if this was some kind of abduction assistance for Jungkook to bring you back home to your fuming parents?

“I’m having second thoughts about this—Wait no!”

Namjoon yanks it out of your hands and slams the button.

The sphere starts beeping, a red light flashing on the top.

Paranoid, you subconsciously grab onto Namjoon’s hand like you always did to Jungkook when your father raised his voice.

A loud noise erupts from the transformation, and you screw your eyes closed in fear.

The round device jumps and explodes harmlessly, the surfaces opens and nylon sheets are spiralled out into the shape of a tent.

“Y/N,” Namjoon squeezes your hand.

“I think it’s done.”

The both of you view the tent, then the interlocked fingers.

Redness graze your cheeks and Namjoon clears his throat.

You quickly let go and step to inspect the inflated tent.

You silently thanked Jungkook as your body plopped onto the clothed base. Lying on the thin material with the cold ground just beneath it, you are able to feel the earthiness seeping through your skin and the softness of the soil as a bedding. The feeling was no match to the fluffiness of your blankets and bouncy mattress.

Namjoon had gone out to grab booze and a couple of ready-made food from the store earlier and you happily agreed. You haven’t got much of a choice actually, but you were grateful for an opportunity like this with him.

A buzz coming from behind interrupts your stargazing session, you pull your sight away from the deep black sky to realise that it was your phone.

Curiosity overruling your judgement, you reached for the phone.

It was a text from an unknown contact.

Your eyes doubled in size at the series of notifications.

-

Visiting the petrol station again caused a bitterness to rise up his throat.

He wonders if he will end up like the old man behind the counter in the future.

Namjoon was an aspiring producer and lyricist.

He hasn’t shot to fame with his completed works yet, but he has a strong belief that he eventually will, one day. He struggles with the low income the job as a gas pump attendant, taking care of his ill-stricken mother who had been diagnosed with lung cancer as of last year and all hope seemed to be lost.

The news came off as no surprise to him because his mother turned into a heavy smoker after his father abandoned the pair of mother and son for some other woman. The nicotine helped her relieve her stress and depression that consumed her heart, so Namjoon as a young boy couldn’t really say anything to stop his broken mother.

His only parent had insufficient funds to further continue his education after high school so he was left with no options but to work many part-time jobs to support himself.

As time flew by, Namjoon grew into a man that had no direction in life.

He worked in a polluted environment, paid for his mother’s chemotherapy, ate, slept and wished he’d never wake up to see the light of day again.

His apartment was filthy and small, but he was barely keeping up with the rent payments on time. Medical bills placed a huge burden onto his shoulders but he could not give up on his only family who always looked at him with sympathy and hatred.

Hatred because she had told him that life would be much better without her, and Namjoon was stubborn in not willing to let her life end even if it was for good.

His girlfriend did not improve the situation of his life.  

If anything, she only worsened it.

She blamed him for being incompetent and unable to bring her happiness as a boyfriend.

She constantly gave degrading remarks and once mentioned that she felt humiliated by him. If anything, she made him feel shittier about his life than he already was.

She was toxic and he knew it but he was still unable to cut ties with someone who loved him back and was willing to stay with him for so long.

He was a man of strong will and he believes that once he succeeds in his ambition, all the problems he was facing at that moment would disappear.

His girlfriend would stop looking at him like he was a loser and his mother would recover faster in a cleaner and better environment.

This week was a turning point in his life.

His mother overdosed and Sunbin cheated on him a few days after.

To think that his own mother gave up on herself and him when he persevered was heart-breaking. Losing his only kin drove him to the point of insanity.

Beyond devastated, he was a step away from falling off the roof of his apartment.

But something about the bright full moon watching over him that night tweaked his decision.

The wind caressed his cheeks as a form of consolation and the stars sang in the gloomy moonlight for him.

Namjoon thinks, that maybe the occurrence of these events was a sign.

Maybe the heavens were trying to tell him something.

He climbed up the wall of his dead end and saw something greater.

His strength was back when he stepped down from the platform.

That is why the morning after he was at the bus station, waiting for the vehicle that will carry him around to clear his thoughts.

Being on a long bus ride relaxed him and for some reason, made his heart feel at ease.

Perhaps it was the trees passing by or the sun that stayed still in position when he was moving, but it filled him with happiness to distance away from the cruel reality for a while in the comfortable seats of a bus. Bus rides were so peaceful and he enjoyed them to the fullest every time without fail.

As he tossed the lollipop stick into the trash bin, his eyes skim across the people at the station, it hooked onto a book he had been wanting to read for a long time.

Jung’s Map Of The Soul: An Introduction was a book that summarises Jung’s vision of psychological and spiritual life.

He hadn’t got the time or money to think about a book, but now that he had seen the actual copy, he was intrigued.

His gaze travel up to the owner of the book, then to the book, then to your face again.

He wasn’t gawking creepily or anything, but your features were rather beautiful. Not that he went up straight to your face and told you that. But he stared for a while, switching between the book and you before minding his own business again.

Looking at you reminded him of his past and only girlfriend. A book in hand, warming her hands over a cup of coffee as he strikes a conversation with her over the book. Later on he found out that she was not into reading at all, and the precious book was a prop in her scheme to get Namjoon to notice her. He didn’t express the wryness he felt tugging at his insides, but he was a little shocked by her deceiving appearance. He wonders just how many more things she was hiding about herself. The only exception with you is that he did not walk towards you.

His girlfriend had just left him.

Sunbin called and he tried his hardest to not care.

It was impossible. He had to hear her out, know what exactly he did wrong, where it all started.

When you lent him your cellphone he keyed in her number like it was the only thing he memorised by heart and frustratedly waited for her answer.

Sunbin was the type to lie in order to achieve whatever result she wanted, but when Namjoon demanded the truth or she was exposed, she would tell him things from the bottom of her heart.

It was after her true explanation behind her abandonment of the relationship that Namjoon lowers the phone in hand and ends the call with a cold farewell.

It wasn’t anything that had to do with her character. It was about the money and status.

That was the time she informed him about how ashamed she was when she introduced Namjoon to her parents or told her friends about her boyfriend.

Namjoon realised that he had nothing to say about that, only silently agreeing and nodding in understanding.

But he wished that his own girlfriend would have a little more faith and pride in his passion and dreams. Not to the point where she’d went out and slept with another man.

His heart broke even more when she confessed that she brought the man home to meet her parents instead of him because he was more capable, as she stated.

Namjoon loved her like she was his everything and yet, she treated him like nothing.

Sunbin made him question his worth and drive all the time. He should be grateful that the poison in his life had been removed.

The third time you try to talk to him, he gave in to your advances.

Namjoon was just going to let whatever happen happen, not purposely going out of way to shut you out or anything.

He was single and available.

He could do anything he wanted now like a man with freedom now.

He’s got nothing to lose.

Namjoon returns with some greasy mac ’n cheese and some bottles of beer.

He finds you inside, full attention on the book that you did not even realise he entered.

The temperature was dropping and the inside of the tent felt as cold as outside.

“Don’t you find it a little cold?”

He ducks and steps inside with bags of food and drinks.

You put your book down.

“Do you want me to set up a fire or something?”

He pauses, fighting back a smile.

Before challenging you.

“Do you even know how to?”

He snickers and takes out the container, allowing the smell of cheese to roam the confined space.

“Right…you have a point.” You pout, the imaginary little campfire bursting like a bubble popped in your head.

Something even better comes to mind.

“Maybe we can… cuddle or something.”

Namjoon freezes, unable to make proper eye contact with you.

“It’s a friendly suggestion.”

You say that, but your eyes glimmer with hope and admiration for him.

After a long awkward moment, Namjoon seems to have set his mind onto something when he finishes his meal.

“We’ll see about that. Here,” He hands you one of the bottles of booze and you gladly accepted it.

The two of you sit at the exact spot from before, this time with the company of the moon and stars.

Namjoon looks at them like he did with the trees and you concluded that this man must carry a deep love for the nature.

“I have a question,” You take a swig of the beer to give yourself alcohol courage.

Should you ask it now? Or are you taking things too fast, considering that you’ve only met this man today and letting him know that you would give him the world?

“Moon or stars?”

You ask quietly, careful to not ruin the placidity of the hushed waves and bristling trees.

“The moon.”

“Why?” You chuckle at how his reply was almost instantaneous.

“The moon, you see. Stars, there are plenty of them. But the moon is the one and only. It may sound quite stupid to you, but I like special things. Especially when people don’t pay much mind to them…little things. Like the moon.”

You watch and listen to him speak attentively.

The moon isn’t exactly little, but you hold back your interruption to let him finish.

“Everybody is so caught up with their business—be it work or play—that they don’t care about the little things that much anymore. One day, if the moon turns slightly yellow, probably five in a hundred people would only notice. The rest don’t take the time to look at the surroundings, the peaceful nature that is with them in life. Which is quite sad actually. Why is stargazing so popular but moongazing isn’t? They come in a package, it’s unfair to exclude her from the word.”

At that, you burst out into laughter.

“That makes sense,” You laugh again. “Stars appear and disappear all the time, that is why. The moon…well, the moon is sort of always just there. People tend to take these things for granted you see.”

Namjoon turns to face you, allured by your explanation.

“Why do you think it’s whale watching and not fish watching?”

You tilt your head at him, providing an analogy.

“Because we don’t see whales all the time…” He mutters, staring into the distance as if he had just got a math equation figured out.

“Precisely. It’s a strange world.”

You were different.

It was silly of Namjoon to automatically assume that you were the same as his ex-girlfriend, because the both of you were total opposites.

She would have just actively dismissed him before he even started on his thoughts on the topic—no, she wouldn’t even ask a question like that.

Namjoon was sure that she did not even know about his love for the moon.

And here he was, with a stranger he met on the bus, pouring out his opinions and questions about stars and moons. He felt like he was on cloud nine to be able to talk to someone so comfortably about something so random. Something that not many would even give two hoots about.

Your fingers drum on the surface of the ground, your hands propping your body to sit upright on the edge of the cliff.

“Then,” You start again.

“Desert or sea.” You point out to the ocean, which was barely even visible under the shade of night.

“Can I choose beach?” Namjoon chortles, placing his hands behind as well to lean back, brushing over yours accidentally.

His fingers graze and land over your smaller ones, his big hand trapping yours in an almost uncertain way.

He didn’t move, you didn’t move. He just let his hand rest near yours, slightly touching but never mentioned.

You shake your head in response, grinning.

Namjoon was just about to answer with the latter but you beat him to it.

“I’d say desert. When you have everything… it could just drown you.”

You say this and bite on your lip, like having everything actually hurt you before.

Namjoon disagrees, a man who tasted the feeling of losing everything.

“Having nothing is just as equal.” He rebuts, washing the sadness stinging in his veins with a full mouth of beer.

Like a man suffering a drought.

A silence of mutual understanding blankets the conversation, staring at the glittery sky and listening to the rushed waves of the sea, and drinking booze.

Unconsciously, you slip nearer to him.

Blame the alcohol, because the feeling of his thigh touching yours was electrifying.

Somewhere into the slow night, you and Namjoon talked about all sorts of stuff without returning to the tent. The night breeze was cooling to the skin and you enjoyed it very much. Still, your thighs were still touching but no one got onto each other’s lap or avoided the skin contact. You placed the last bottle down carelessly, the clanking of it against the hard rock warning you of the close breakage—but honestly you couldn’t care less.  

Namjoon was on his third bottle of Soju and you were on the second, but the answer was clear as to who was the lightweight.

“I think lobsters are immortals,” You made a brave statement, puffing out your chest.

“I think the fuck not, Y/N.”

You never liked your name being called by someone this much.

The way it perfectly flows out of his mouth, his thick voice and blank expression. Heat began creeping up to your cheeks—you’re unsure if it’s from the anger of retorting or your name on his lips.

You’re a little tipsy to be thinking coherent thoughts, but screw sobriety.

“Technically, there is evidence—”

“Oh, why don’t you just shut up and own some crabby petties?” You sassed back at him, ignoring his substantial proof of lobsters dying of age.

“And, leave. My. Lobsters. Alone.”

You draw your face closer to his as you tell him that, the realisation of the proximity  between both your lips not dawning right on you yet.

You were in the middle of a discussion on crustaceans with him, and suddenly your face was pulled so close to his own.

Namjoon looks you in the eyes, something fiery can be sensed through his brown orbs and you can feel his breath on your cupid’s bow.

His gaze kept flickering between your lips and your eyes, and you dark your tongue out to lick at them, feeling slightly self-conscious.

Then, he makes home at your eyes.

“Did you just make a pun,”

His voice falls an octave, a hint of raspiness hidden behind his throat.

Both your bodies were leaning so close to each other now, arms behind each other’s backs to keep near.

“Yeah I did. So what.” You breathed out shyly yet your words bagged a heavy tut. You were surprised that you even managed to form a response being this close to Namjoon.

You swear your nose was bumping onto the tip of his now, the one you had so badly dreamt of kissing from the gas station earlier on.

You fired the last question.

“Kiss or be kissed,”

And your heart lurches when he steals the period of the sentence away, by dipping his head to snatch your breath away.

He was nothing like the kisser you imagined with those plump lips; rough, urgent and sensual all at the same time. Namjoon slants his lips with yours fervently, hand coming up to hold your neck firmly as he kisses you.

Fluttering your lids shut, your place your hands on his firm chest before smoothing them up to wrap around his neck. The action made him growl lowly before lunging onto your body like a beast starved.

A light whimper leaves your throat as he moves his lips rhythmically against yours, teeth clashing and breaths exchanged. Your moans in his mouth seem to encourage him further, but still his tongue makes no appearance.

He knew how to take things fast and slow at the same time, and you loved every moment of it.

Namjoon gains full control over you by tilting your head the angle he wants to devour you and he melds his lips with yours like you were going to disappear by the second.

He had pushed you onto your back onto the rock platform already, whole body caging yours when he finally breaks away.

You were a panting mess from his rushed kissing, lips swollen from how hard he had bit onto it and hair slightly tousled from his fingers running through it.

“Kiss. I want to kiss you all night.”

Inside you beamed like the brightest star alive and this time, it was you who captures his lips again.

Namjoon tasted like a mixture of bitter and sweet, he was soft in his actions but his mouth was relentless.

It took you a lot of willpower—with his face stuck to yours and hands caressing your jaw— but you succeeded in pushing him away to get inside.

“Namjoon,” You barely pronounce his name right, because he takes your gesture as a sign to continue his ministrations on your jaw.

“Do you wanna go into the tent instead?”

He plants a final kiss onto your lips before standing up and offering you a hand.

The buzz invites itself onto your phone once again and you internally groaned, wishing he’d heard nothing.

“I think that was your phone,” He alerts you, and you pretend to not care.

“It’s nothing important.” You say as you lean in and press your lips against his cheeks.

He shoves you away gently.

“Wait, what if it’s for me?”

“Nam—“

In no time, he let go of your hand and went on his knees to search for the resounding device.

The same cold Unknown flashed on the screen and you tongued at your cheek.

Namjoon stares at the phone for a while, biting the inside of his cheek in contemplation.

“I…I have to take this,” He stammers and it was all you needed.

You reach for his hand and held it calmly.

“Don’t,” You have no idea what you trying to tell him but you knew that he should never pick up.

“You looked so pained whenever you’re on that call…”

His hair reflected a streak of gold under the mini lamp and his features were so dangerously beautiful. He was still, in one way or another, a stranger to you but you were eager to learn about his world and dive into the deepness of his soul.

You could feel it—from the bus station, to the gas pumps and now by the beach with him—that he was so lost and broken, just the way you were.

You wanted to be the light to guide him out of this darkness but he always deemed it impossible by returning to the old ways.

“Then why are you here?” You take a step, decreasing the space between.

“Isn’t the purpose of this whole short escapade to renew and start afresh?”

You released a sigh, not navigating where exactly this was headed towards.

“It’s your life… It’s yours to decide.”

He doesn’t look at you, only thinking about it hard.

That is before he returns the phone to you and mumbles that he’ll head to bed first.

You rarely stopped yourself from asking questions when curiosity consumed you. But when it came to Namjoon however… you stay silent.

You did not want to intrude more than you should, but you also knew that Namjoon, the guy you’ve been crushing on since the start of the bus ride, would never open his mouth unless you asked him to.

Seeing Namjoon being so despondent reminded you of your situation with your family.

Thoughts about your parents, Jungkook, Namjoon…Namjoon.

The way he kissed you a few minutes ago soared you to heaven temporarily.

Was he ever this attracted to you as you were all along?

The more you think, the more things seemed bizarre and did not make any sense at all.

You wonder what sparked the sudden urge to pounce onto you like he did last night when he wouldn’t even spare you a proper glance on the bus.

You did not want this day to end on bad note.

If this was the first and last time with him, you wanted to make it worth while.

“So…you don’t mind cuddling, do you?”

The body beside you stirs awake.

Seems like you were not alone in failing to catch some sleep.

Namjoon doesn’t reply to that, only proceeding to finally wrap his arms firmly around you. You resist the squeak of excitement popping out of your chest as you feel his muscular chest press against your back. He hums in response, the low vibrations travelling down your spine and you fight back a shiver. Namjoon seemed too tired to say anything else.

You keep still, not wanting any small movement to disrupt his rest.

He falls asleep in two seconds while you carry on with your attempts.

You couldn’t sleep despite the fatigue rinsing you and draining your head of any sensibility.  

Clamping your lids shut, you try to focus on the rhythm of your breathing instead to ease yourself into a slumber as well. This time, it twitches against your ass and you can no longer close one eye to the situation at hand.

Bucking your hips back into his, he involuntarily lets out a deep groan at the feeling. Whether he was still in his sleep or not, the noises Namjoon made sent your mind spiralling into a pool of lust.

His dick grows even harder, pushing against the material of your shorts.

“Namjoon,” You try to flip over to face him, but failing to do so as he steadies you in place.

“Namjoon,” You whine in protest, the feeling overwhelming and you have to do something about it.

The second call of his name stirs him slightly awake, hand accidentally sliding down the curve of your thigh and a shudder rumbles throughout your body as he touches the sensitive skin. He seems to get the reaction, doing it again, and this time skimming over the inside of your thigh. He’s doing this on purpose, to tease you to the end of your wits and you are not going to lie there and take it.

You swear you were about to throw yourself over and pin his cheeky hands down, but he beats you to it by a step. His lips ghosts over the shell of your ear, grip tightening on your thigh and you let loose completely.

“What is it that you want so badly,” His mouth travels to the exposed skin of your neck, tongue darting out to give you small licks. “That you keep waking me up?”

“W-Why do you have a boner?”

“It happens when I’m tired.”

“Oh,” You blinked, remembering the feel of it against your ass.

Long, thick and heavy. Throbbing, even. You couldn’t register the fact that you were salivating as he crashes his lips onto yours once more, savouring all of you.

“I want you to fuck me so good, Namjoon.”

He shoots his head up from the curve of your neck, expression laced with confused and shock.

“No pressure.” You blurt out to save yourself when he stares at you like you’ve made a bad joke.

“Say that again.”

He startles you by using his fingers to rub circles onto your clothed clit.

You let out a squeak when he applies more pressure onto the sensitive nub, drawling a moan to spill from your lips.

“What do you want?”

He’s getting impatient, shoving your panties to the side and sliding a finger inside of you.

You sighed and held onto his shoulders when he started pumping the digit in and out of your wetness.

“Can you fuck me please?” You look him in the eye as you say this, making him hiss and groan in satisfaction.

“Since you asked so nicely…”

His finger picks up a rapid pace, your juices smeared messily over his hand.

“Fuck baby, you’re so wet already…”

He sticks his tongue out and you oblige by sucking on his wet muscle.

Shortly after, he replaces it with his soaked finger and you take the whole length of his finger into your mouth and swirled your tongue around it.

Namjoon feels more blood rush to his cock if that is even possible, because he is so hard, he doesn’t even know if he can feel his dick.

You slowly let your oversized shirt fall off your shoulders, sliding down to expose your breasts.

Namjoon rips the shirt apart instead and latches his mouth onto a hardened nipple.

He cups the other breast in one hand, passionately massaging it while his other hand runs up and down the slickness of your heat.

“Everything about you…Mmm—so perfect…” He hums and sucks on your breast.

You were going to explode.

He was touching you in so many places at once, his hard length brushing against your torso occasionally and his hands possessively roaming over every inch of your skin.

“Namjoon,” You whined out to him again, wanting more than just touching and kissing.

“Turn around,” He commands deeply and you hurry to his desired position, giving him a full view of your ass.

He slaps it on instinct, before coming up to rub the sting away.

Namjoon doesn’t give you a heads up before sliding his cock into you easily.

Screaming, he starts off rough like his kisses and you can’t help but feel tears pricking at the corner of your eyes.

The pain was forced into pleasure as he continued to piston his hips into you relentlessly, the thickness stretching you out and filling you up so good.

As he slammed into you harder and harder, you felt like you were being used as a sex toy. Like he was only venting in the sex with you.

You hated it, but it still felt impossibly good and irresistible.

“Ah, god. You feel so fucking tight—argh!” He moans and you clench around him even more at the noise he made.

“N-Namjoon,” You repeated his name for as many times as you could, enjoying the way you can call him like that, in this manner.

Namjoon was close. He could feel it just by seeing you sprawled out naked for him, ass up and head smashed onto the pillow. The way your ass jiggled every time his hips smacked onto them, the pretty little noises you made with every thrust.

The way his name sounded falling from your lips.

He came inside of you, right after you climaxed with the help of the rubbing of your clit with your own fingers and the both you plopped down next to each other, beat from the sex.

Moments like these; him lying next to side half-naked and smiling away about nothing at all, and the small giggles that erupt from your lungs, the accidental light grazes of his hand over yours, his dimpled smile that rarely showed up.

When you wake up to the sun that glared fiercely through the nylon sheets of your temporary shelter, Namjoon was watching you.

Jumping back, you grab the blanket as a form of protection.

“What… are you doing here?!”

He looks down, trying to contain his laughter.

“Wait, where am I?”

The memories start running back to you piece by piece and you nod in realisation.

“Ah, right.”

Namjoon flashes the last of his full smile that is equivalent to the sun.

Moments like these, are short-lived.

“Y/N,” He says, tone somehow serious but casual.

“I’m leaving.”

You gather yourself and listen.

“Last night, was spectacular.” He tells you confidently. A shade of coral brushes over your cheeks.

“Not just…that, of course. I really enjoyed every second spent with you and I’m so glad you came into my life. Even if it was just for a night. Or day, whatever.”

Because nothing ever goes smoothly in life.

Even Alice had to leave Wonderland.

“I’m going to find her and get her back.”

Happiness was still something you were going to continue searching for, while Namjoon fights for his own.

“Oh,” It’s all you can reply, your head a pool of thoughts, words, feelings and emotions. But you wouldn’t voice them out. You couldn’t.

“Goodluck. I had a fun time as well.”

Even though you wished for more.

“I hope you’ll be heading wherever you need to be as well?”

Namjoon stretches his hand out and you slap it.

He was inserting all this platonic gestures to not make it feel weirder than it already is.

“Yeah. Will be on my way.”

You can already sense a Jungkook driving his way here to pick you up according to the summon of your father. While Namjoon will look for his lover and seek the clarification he needs.

In fact, the both of you will be on your separate ways now.

This, is where the true journey of a bus ride with him, ends.

It’s been exactly ten weeks since your strange encounter with Namjoon.

An encounter that consisted of almost everything an adventure had in store.

All of this is not a coincidence , you like to believe.

Every single time you were on a bus, you can’t help but wonder if Namjoon would magically pop out and turn your life downside up. Cause the butterflies in your stomach to form again. You want to know what he’s doing. If him and his girlfriend are well now.

Even as of right now, you can’t help but anticipate the next bus ride to happen, rejecting Jungkook’s offer for a ride.

At night, you cannot sleep without thinking about the moonlight that shines in his eyes.

The way your name falls from his lips.

His soft touches and gentle caresses.

His sweet and plump lips with his big hands on your hips.

As much as you’d like to forget, no one has ever brought you to close to euphoria before.

It was considerably the happiest moment in your stagnant life.

Being with Namjoon made you feel like achieved something great. The strong thumping of your heart, the words that flowed so smoothly out of your mouth, your jumbled thoughts coming together perfectly with him around.

It just felt so right.

A tap on your shoulder caused you to remove an ear bud.

“Excuse me, miss. Is this seat taken?”

[lizacstuff]

Bunch of anons about Carina and Roswell NM drama

Under the cut because it’s long and gossipy...

Anonymous said: Whatever nonsense Carina may have been up to with Jeanine and Nathan, both the leads have seemed to keep their private issues to themselves by not telling other cast or friends. That's why it angers me that the person who leaked the information disregarded Jeanine as a person and victim.

I’m of two minds on this.  On one hand I totally agree and I hate that Jeanine’s name was drug into this and her involvement was shared by the multiple inside sources, but on the other hand I do not like Carina, I think she was awful to work for, and I think it’s a good thing if it’s know in the industry that she created friction on set and was investigated by HR.  

She was so unprofessional, just from what we could see as fans, that she should NOT be put in charge of another show any time soon. So I think for the sake of people she will work with in the future, it’s a good thing it’s out there.  She has a whole lot of growing to do before she should ever work in television again. 

You make a good point about Jeanine and Nathan keeping their business to themselves.  Carina is out there over-sharing constantly, putting every neurosis on full display, and forcing half the cast to be out drinking and entertaining her on a regular basis. While those two, kept quiet and out of the spotlight. In interviews/panels they’ve both been completely professional, doing their jobs while also being charming, funny and eloquent.  

It was obvious to those of us watching closely that all was not well between J/N and Carina when the season started shooting. Carina was bitchier when she talked about them and those characters than she had been before, and J/N were nowhere to be seen in her braggy out-partyin’-with-my-cast IG stories and posts.  

As you say, it doesn’t look like J/N tried to drag any other cast or crew into whatever the issue was. I’m not sure the same can be said for Carina, that speaks volumes about the character of all involved. 

Anonymous said: I saw that abnormallyadam is doing a live social media thing with Jeanine and Vlamis soon. I guess we might get more information then and if Jeanine decides to say anything.

How hilarious would it be if Adam gets the scoop of a lifetime!?

I’m guessing this chat or whatever it is was set up before Jeanine and Vlamis knew the studio was going to swoop in and make their lives a whole lot better by firing Carina. So it will be interesting to see if it still happens on schedule or if it’s postponed for awhile.  

If it does go on, I think they will probably cover it really quickly and superficially like Vlamis did when he was schilling his merch the other night and then move on.  They won’t deep dive into it, that’s for sure. 

Anonymous said: Carina has been tweeting incessantly today! Like tweeting about other meaningless things won't make people forget lol. Also about that anon message you received about unfollowing nathan - wowwww she used to be up his butt.

Yes, remember the days when Carina used him as her social media crutch (every post she makes like that with a hot actor or country singer is basically her rampant insecurities saying: “hey look at the hot guy(s) who hang out with me and take pictures with me, it means I have value ya’ll!”) before she moved onto Trevino and then Vlamis.  So sad.   

They were clearly friends after The Originals and she invited him to audition.  I’m glad she did, he’s great in the role. Although it sounds like he was lucky that the President of the CW saw him and told her he was a leading man, since she didn’t see him as a lead. Sometime a friend’s preconceived notions might actually hold a person back... 

Who knows what happened, but just knowing human nature and Carina’s energy, I’ve always wondered if she thought she was going to have her friend on set and he was gonna be her social crutch, her go-to to entertain her and party with her, but right off the bat he and Jeanine got together so during the first season filming he wasn’t so much interested in the single, going-out partying lifestyle that she’s clearly addicted to and that rankled her a bit. Perhaps she lost her party buddy to her leading lady, and the loss of that attention “displeased” her. (to quote Kamran who said Carina told the writers to punish actors who displeased her by reducing their screen time. Interesting thought, no?)

Anonymous said: Well the interesting thing is some of the other people she follows don't post much either and she continues to follow them. Interesting interesting.

I know. She didn’t unfollow him because of that. That was definitely a show of cutting ties with him. It was probably in a fit of rage because she can’t unfollow Jeanine (because that would look terrible).  Also she has been so humiliated between being unceremoniously fired and losing her development deal with WB, the Hollywood Reporter article making her look terrible, and that writer spilling tea, that my guess is she’s hoping to shift focus to someone else and she knows unfollowing him will make us all wonder why. 

Anonymous said: Well shoot, maybe it was Nathan and not Jeanine who went to hr? And Carina found out? Or Nathan took the fall? Sorry I'm just going down a rabbit hole of conspiracy.

In my opinion there’s no reason to think those sources got it wrong. I would guess that Jeanine was involved, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t also involve Nathan.  Those two are a self-professed team, so no reason to think they wouldn't be in this instance as well. 

Anonymous said: Does this mean she'll unfollow Jeanine too??

I’m sure she wants to, but she can’t unless she wants to confirm that, yes, there was friction on the set and, yes, there was a specific problem with her leading lady.

Carina went out of her way to try and combat the “rumors” about her and Jeanine not getting along, addressing the situation in her goodbye post-- drawing more attention to it in the process-- so unfollowing her now would just make her look foolish and like everything she said was a lie and everything from the inside sources is true.  

Anonymous said: Carina will definitely do something stupid. She can't help herself. But even though there's no reason to follow Nathan, he's been inactive on Twitter for over a year and for her to unfriend now during this drama and mess...how is that a coincidence?

As I said above, I know it’s not a coincidence.  She’s dumb because by doing that she pretty much confirmed that there was friction on the set.  If there wasn’t, she wouldn’t be unfollowing the person in the main cast who she was closest too prior to the show. 

Part of me wonders if, as an old friend, she asked him for something (to defend her or a show of support) and he wouldn't do it.  Perhaps she’s most hurt by him not supporting her since they were friends before and she did give him a lead role on a network show (and also accidentally introduced him to his girlfriend.)  Maybe she thought he owed her and he didn't step up to defend her or even just give a tacit show of support by responding to her social media posts on leaving??

I’m guessing if he had come out of social media hibernation to give her one of those paltry “Thanks for everything” responses to her IG post like the other actors she wouldn't have unfollowed him. 

Anonymous said: Someone said the writer deleted all his tweets about Carina.

Not surprising, it was a crazy spree he was on, who wants to bet that he got contacted by a lawyer late Friday night?

I’m sure Carina was doing everything in her power to threatened him and to get him to stop. 

Anonymous said: I remember the writer also referring to Nathan as Carina's "friend." Is it in quotations because they are not actually friends? Frenemy? Carina was recently saying nice things about Nathan so based on her perspective, she thinks they were still on good terms?

Well they were apparently friends before he was cast, what happened after that is hard to say. They seemed fine during the promotion of season 1, but as soon as season 2 started filming, Carina’s tone when talking about him and Max got ugly and Nathan and Jeanine were staying far away from her socially. I mean Jeanine hosted a ladies Friendsgiving at their house, where 40 women from the cast and crew came over for a Thanksgiving feast, but the female showrunner wasn’t there. Hmmmm...

However, this spring things seemed to have thawed a bit.  Jeanine and Carina would occasionally like each other’s IG post (someone pointed out to me that had stopped during summer of 2019 and they didn’t engage with each other’s posts much if at all during S2 filming) Jeanine and Carina did that IG live and Carina was talking positively about Nathan and Max and seemed to be setting him up for a big season 3 with the dual roles and talking excitedly about that, so honestly, to me, it seemed like they had made their peace.  Perhaps Carina getting fired (and the straw that broke the camel’s back on that was clearly her idiotic tirade against the UK distributor) brought back up all the issues??? Or maybe Carina blamed them because of the prior issues? Or maybe they didn’t support her with the studio when she was trying to salvage her job? All I know is that Carina’s public behavior on social media is enough grounds to fire her, so she has no business blaming anyone but herself. 

Anonymous said: Someone said to the writer that jeanine, amber and nathan are staying silent on the matter and kamran replied that "Silence speaks louder than words." just above that they also were wondering who Carina harassed and bullied into silence? was it nathan?

Who knows... ask the writer. 

Anonymous said: Carina going from Zapit straight to writing for TVD is peak white privilege. After that THR article you could tell she believed a little too much how far that privilege would get her. Good riddance. Good luck getting another job for being such a big liability. I don't see any corporation hiring her again.

I think the only way she’s getting another job in TV anytime soon is if Julie gives it to her. She’s talented, once she grows up maybe she’ll be capable of running a show, but it was clear from the peanut gallery she should never have been given that amount of responsibility that she had on RNM. 

[btbarchive]

What is your favorite aspect of anthropology?

Oooo that’s a really good question!!

In order for this to make sense though, I kinda have to dive into the long winded explanation.

Okay so when I was in kindergarten my mom signed my sister and I up for these pottery classes that were being offered at our school. I immediately fell in love with pottery (mostly because in my 4 year old brain I was able to squish and play with the clay and let’s be real, it was delightful) and wanted to do that for as long as I could. Ever since, I’ve done pottery whenever it’s been offered to me- a friend took a couple of us to a pottery place for her birthday (also the first time I used a wheel), buying cheap clay to mold for school projects, using the wheel of a nice lady that used to go to our church, buying pottery at local art stores, etc. I LOVE pottery. I knew right from the get go that I wanted pottery to be in my life for the rest of my life.

Fast forward to 6th grade. I was sitting in history and my teacher (love this woman btw she’s the COOLEST) was giving a lesson on ancient civilizations. Boy oh boy, did that ever go over like warm biscuits on a cold day. I loveddddd that week of class where we talked about BCE and ancient people, cultures, religions, art (POTTERY), languages, etc. We did this really cool art project thing in class where she gave each of us the back of a big brown paper bag and some natural colored pastels (browns, blacks, whites, earthy reds) and we made our own “cave drawings” using reference images that she had printed out and given to us. It was the best day of sixth grade I ever had. It also, coincidentally, coincided with the retirement of my math teacher. Nobody liked her and we were all glad to see her go. I remember being scared of her? Anyways, that’s a different story.

Fast forward again... to like 9th/10th grade. I remember (in yee olden days before the pandemic) going to Washington DC with my family and going to the Smithsonian where they had an exhibit on human evolution. They had skeletons and replicas and pottery and pictures of cave drawings and mummies and me, being the enthusiast that I am, spent the entire day in that exhibit. I read everything twice, looked at ancient skeletons of early homo sapiens, admired the beautiful pottery that these people crafted and preserved, looked at their clothes through the glass cases and the beading. The beading. This day was like the highlight of my summer. Maybe looking at skeletons and ancient pottery and learning about ancient cultures isn’t the stuff of everyone’s dreams, but it’s mine. And then, my high school invited me to go to Greece via EF Tours (Also deserves its own post and maybe one day I’ll get to it). We went to Athens, Delphi, and the islands of Samos, Patmos, Lindos, Rhodes, Crete, Santorini, and Mykonos in 10 days. I got maybe 9(?) hours of sleep total in those 10 days but the HISTORY. The history made every second of jet lag and sleep deprivation worth it. I can’t even begin to describe how amazing it was to walk where ancient people walked and prayed and lived. We went to museums and great historical sites. The architecture alone was breathtaking. I remember in one museum, there were glass panels in the floor and you could look down into these dig sites where there were massive amounts of of pottery and other artifacts all made by the Ancient Greek citizens. We didn’t get to stay there for very long but it was my favorite part of the trip and I can’t wait to go back. Their culture was, and is, so rich and seeing those artifacts and learning about the ancient culture is fascinating.

Another thing! When I was in high school the majority of my term paper topics were on ancient civilizations... I tried to do all of them but my teacher made me switch topics to something that I could, quote ‘research more easily’. My papers on the Aztec religion and the Ancient Egyptian Legal System scored higher. To that I say: research what you love and to hell with your teachers opinion!

About a year back, I was at a university open house. The anthropology department guy (who was really chill, shout out to you my guy) had a piece of pottery that they brought back from Mount Zion. It was from the same time as Jesus of Nazareth, and he let me HOLD IT. This happy smiley hipster lookin dude let me HOLD a piece of Pottery from when JESUS OF NAZARETH was alive. I was 1) absolutely terrified I was going to drop it, 2) amazed they were allowed to have this at a university open house???, and 3) 10000000% in complete awe. This piece of pottery, we aren’t talking small little fragment either- I mean like a ‘this is bigger than my hand’ piece of pottery, had survived from the time of Jesus through all of these thousands of years and was then sitting in my hand. Who knows what the bowl/vase/whatever was originally for? Who made it? Why was it on Mount Zion?

So here’s the short version- I love pottery. I love ancient cultures. I love mysteries, especially when it’s about the past and there are clues everywhere to help us better under what life was like back then. I don’t mind so much about evolution- it’s interesting don’t get me wrong- but I’d rather spend my time looking at pottery, hiking up to ancient temples or ruins, and trying to piece together ancient civilizations.

[aliensmoothie]

Borderlands: The Broken Mask

pt. 1

word count: 2509

summary: the inciting action

Fiona approached the run-down building. It was just a small shack out in the desert, in a canyon between two orange rock cliff-faces. It was also where she assumed the person who reached out to her was. As she awkwardly stood and debated whether or not she should just enter or knock or something, she heard footsteps approaching and turned around.

"Sasha?"

and there, walking towards her, was her younger sister (and partner in crime), Sasha. Her sister gave her a smile and said, "Good to see you too, Fi."

"What are you doing out here?" Fiona asked, crossing her arms at her sister, trying to contain her smile. It's been a while.

"Well, someone reached out to me. some job?"

"Huh, that's weird…" Fiona trailed off, looking at the shack, "I'm here for a job too."

"huh, yeah, weird coincidence." Sasha conceded.

"Holy shit-" a voice from behind the girls said

"Vaughn???" said the both of them, turning to face the unintimidating bandit lord.

"Sasha, Fiona!" Vaughn said, opening his arms to his friends "Bring it in!"

Sasha and Fiona looked at each other, then back to Vaughn (still holding his arms out). 

As the three friends hugged, Vaughn said "It's been a grip guys, where have you been?"

"Well, it hasn't been that long, right?" Fiona asked. Sasha shook her head.

Vaughn broke from the hug and smiled up at his friends "Yeah, only around a month or something. Still, I've missed you two! I'm not that caught up in bandit lord...ing."

"I've just been taking odd jobs, really, nothing interesting." Sasha shrugged.

"Yeah, same here," Fiona said "but it's good to know that your 'bandit-lording' is still going well"

"Oh like you have a better word for it," Vaughn quipped, "but yeah! The Children of Helios are still together… Albeit in smaller numbers than ever- but still together!"

"So what are you doing here?" Sasha asked, bringing the elephant in the room into focus.

"Oh, I got contact from some guy out here. Said he had a job, and honestly I just needed a break from the stress of bandit life."

"Huh, guess it's almost like old times." Fiona said, evoking a sad smile from her friends. 

It's been about a month since the three saw each other, and maybe that wasn't completely an accident. Every time they get together, even after five years, it's hard not to think about their missing team member. 

When Rhys disappeared, they all searched like crazy, but after a year of it, they had no choice but to assume he was gone. It was the most likely thing at that point. He may have gotten through some crazy shit, but at the end of the day, Rhys was a middle management coder at Hyperion. It's not like he was particularly well-suited for Pandora.

"So, is our employer home or what?" Fiona said, breaking the silence and turning towards the rundown shack.

"I mean, we can probably just go in," Vaughn started, "but maybe we should knock firs-"

Before Vaughn could finish his sentence, someone jumped down from the cliff-face behind the shack, onto the roof. As the figure landed, they saw that it was infamous assassin and vault hunter, Zer0. And as Fiona, Sasha, and Vaughn stood in awe for a moment, they flashed a smiley-face emoticon on their helmet's display.

"Zer0? Did you get a job here too?" Fiona questioned.

Zer0 jumps down from the roof, remaining silent. Fiona had heard it'd been a while since they've said much of anything, really.

Fiona didn't know why she had really expected an answer, but decided to take their silence as a yes, given the circumstances. "Cool, cool…"

Fiona, Sasha, and Vaughn all look at eachother for a moment in puzzlement. Who was this employer, and why did they choose this fucking wild grab bag of a team.

As they turned back to Zer0 to ask them if they knew anything, they saw that they were already attempting to answer the question, and entering the shack.

The three entered after them, and were faced with who they assumed to be their employer. They wore a cyan hoodie, a brown bomber jacket, and (this being their most notable feature) a pink biker's helmet, decorated with a few stickers, and a cyan 'X' spray painted on their left eye, and a cyan 'O' on their right. Behind them, there is a sizable splattering of blood on the wall, just starting to coagulate.

"Well, you're all here." the person said, in a voice distorted and crackled through their helmet, "I'd offer you something to drink but we should probably just leave."

The four paused for a moment, recovering from the slight whiplash of this stranger's lack of niceties.

"Are you uh- Are you our employer?" Vaughn stammered.

"Well, 'employer' isn't really right. But I am the person who contacted you four, yes." the stranger answered.

"Hold on, you're paying us, right?" Fiona asked, one foot practically out the door already.

"No, but my... employers probably will. I can only assume that's what they want with you." the stranger said, walking towards the door, "Now, if you have more questions- and want them answered- you should start walking."

As the stranger left, the four paused once again. Whoever this was, they didn't wait for goddamn anyone. But either they had no other choice, or really just nothing better to do, because all four began to follow them out of the shack.

After walking in silence for a moment, Sasha said, "So… Who exactly are you?"

"My name is Janus," they said.

"Are you going to tell us where we're going, Janus?"

"To my 'employers'" 

"And where are they?"

"Not that far. There's a base near here that we can contact them from." Janus answered calmly, "And in case you were wondering, we don't have to walk all the way there. We should have a ride closeby-"

Just as they finished their sentence, the group spotted what ride Janus was talking about. An only slightly busted bandit technical, parked at the beginning of the canyon. The only issue being, a bandit was indeed in the technical, and as the group approached he began to draw his gun.

"Cool it, Aleks," Janus began "It's me."

And, as soon as the bandit- Aleks- registered Janus, he took a far more friendly disposition. He hopped out of technical, and walked over to Janus to give them a hearty clap on the back, to which they seemed almost completely unfazed (but a little irritated) by.

"Janey! It's good to see ya man! what ya doin out here!" 

"A job."

"Oh really? without any cameras on ya-" the bandit began to say, laughing, but was cut off when he noticed the rest of the group.

"Hold on, did Tyreen send you out to get those four?" the Bandit said softly.

"Yes."

the bandit started inching back to the technical "Shit… uh. let me just uh. make a call on my Echo real quick?"

Janus stared for a moment "We need your car."

Aleks turned back to Janus "whuh- uh, no, dude. the other dudes are still fuckin about, and they told me to watch the te---"

Janus raised their pistol, and without hesitation, shot Aleks clean through the skull. They holstered their gun, and hopped into the technical, with the blood splatter still on it.

Janus looked expectantly at the group, and they reluctantly hopped into the back of the bandit technical.

After driving for a while in awkward silence, Vaughn spoke up, "Was that one of yours?"

"huh?" Janus asked

"The guy you shot, Aleks. Does- did he work with you?"

"Yeah."

"Your uh… employers probably aren't going to be really happy about you shooting him, right?"

"No, I actually think they might be somewhat happy with me."

The group paused in confusion for a moment, until Fiona asked "who exactly are your 'employers'?"

"Tyreen and Troy Calypso of the COV- The Children Of the Vault." Janus answered.

"What do you do there?" 

"I do the same thing as most everyone else. We... entertain, I guess."

The conversation ended there. The pause left before "entertain" was far too unsettling, and nobody wanted to ask them what exactly they meant. 

The technical slowed down as they approached an abandoned Hyperion base. Well, abandoned by Hyperion that is, because in terms of bandits and the like, it was pretty well stocked. 

"This is it. We'll head inside, and we can call The Twins from there." Janus said, hopping out of the technical.

The group walked towards the entrance, which had an uncomfortable amount (read: any) standing near it. None of them seemed to acknowledge the group entering, luckily. It doesn't seem like it would get too violent with Janus with them, but it definitely wouldn't be pleasant.

The continued in through the base, which looked to be in fairly good condition, but heavily… "decorated" by the bandits now occupying it. As they went further in, there seemed to be less bandits mulling about, and they finally entered a room that was completely empty of people. 

It seemed to be some sort of gathering area, covered almost wall to wall in screens of varying sizes, and a large holographic communicator in the middle, to which Janus walked towards.

They punched something into the small keyboard panel on the side, and looked up, waiting for the call to start.

" -oy shut the fuck up i have a call coming in- oh hey, Janey! How's my number one superfan?" Said (who the group could only assume was) Tyreen.

"I got the people you were looking for."

"Always straight to the point Jan, I'll give you that." Tyreen said, turning her attention towards the rest of the group "Wow… You really got all of them! How did you manage that?"

After a moment of Janus not responding, Tyreen glared, but shrugged it off, "Anyways, I have a proposition of sorts for you four."

"What kind of proposition?" Vaughn asked.

"Well, I'm sure Janey over there has told you what we're all about, right?" Tyreen quizzed.

"Uh… They said you. 'Entertain'? Or something?" Sasha said, almost unsure that that was the right answer.

"Exactly!" Tyreen exclaimed, "And we do it with a skillset that suits pandora- and you four- quite well."

"... And what exactly is that?" Fiona asked.

"Bloodshed, gore, murder- we're the bloodiest goddamn streamers on the ECHOnet!"

At that, most of the group took pause. It makes sense that they'd want Zer0, but the rest of them aren't particularly competent murderers.

Tyreen seemed to read their confusion, as she began to explain, "You all had involvement in the opening of the Vault of The Traveller. That's a preeeetty big deal, it was a vault that was known to be wicked elusive, until you and a few others cracked it. We got ahold of most of those 'others' too, but they weren't uhh… too sympathetic to our cause, or whatever."

After a moment of hesitation from the group, Fiona spoke up, "Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but it's a no from me."

"Same here." Sasha said.

"Yeah, I think I'm good." Vaughn agreed, as the group cast glances back at Zer0. If anyone, they'd be the one to say y-

"No." Zer0 said, to everyone's surprise. And seemingly to Tyreen's dissapointment

"Well, I was honestly hoping we'd get one of you on board, at least." Tyreen sighed, "But hey, that's why we got Janus in on it, this time."

"What do you mean?" Fion asked.

"To make sure you guys don't walk out of here." And with that, the door to the room slammed shut, and Tyreen pressed something on her ECHO device, activating all the screens, showing footage of the same room they were all in.

"Hey brothers and sisters! God Queen Tyreen here, and today we got a showdown between Janus, and our four special guests! I'll be commentating over the stream, but I'll hang up and Jan, and leave the rest to them." She said, and the hologram shut down, leaving just the five in the room.

But Janus didn't have their weapons drawn.

In fact, they seemed like they weren't even thinking of fighting the four of them, despite Zer0 already having their sword drawn.

"I hacked the cameras in this room before I left. We don't have long until someone realizes the footage is looping and comes in here." Janus said, turning towards the back wall of the room, "There's a secret door somewhere around here, help me find it."

"Wait, you aren't going to try and kill us?" Sasha asked.

"No. You four would absolutely kill me. I may be the longest surviving person here, but I don't fight Vault Hunters." Janus answered. "Now help me find the door."

The four looked all along the walls, trying to see if there was something behind one of the screens, which were all looping the footage of the five of them standing there.

After a moment of searching, Janus hit a button on one of the screens, and a small panel of the wall opened up, revealing the outside of the building.

As the rest of the group made their way out of the door, the main door to the room opened up, with quite a few bandits on the other side.

"Shit- I got them, just run!" Janus yelled, shoving the rest out of the door, and closing it behind them.

Just a moment passed, and the door opened again, revealing the room, now painted with exploded bandits, and Janus, who seemed just fine as they started to run away from the building.

The group followed them, and they ran through the desert, hearing a crowd of bandits beginning to follow after them.

"Where are we going to go!?" Vaughn yelled.

"I don't know- somewhere away from here!" Janus yelled back.

"You didn't have a plan!?" Fiona snapped.

"I did have a plan!" Janus defended, "But the cameras were the extent of it!"

"Look, there's no way we're outrunning them! can't we just fight them!?" Sasha yelled.

Fiona glanced over her shoulder, "No way, they outnumber us!"

"Alright, fuck this-" Janus said, and then pulled out a gun, "Just try to fire a few shots while you're running!"

The group did so without protest, as it was really the best option, though the only one who landed any actual shots was Zer0.

"If we can find a fast travel station- we should be able to throw them off!" Vaughn yelled, "Get back to the Children of Helios or something!"

"Good idea! I know one nearby!" Janus agreed.

As they kept running, they approached the entrance of what looked like an abandoned desert town, which had a quick travel station right there.

Vaughn was the first to get to it, and he hurriedly started interfacing with it.

"Speed it up, Vaughn!" Fiona hissed, still out of breath.

 "I'm doing my best! I don't use these things alo-"

[sweetiepie08]

Rebel Z Chapter 3

Invader Zim fanfic

While analyzing Zim’s PAK for weaknesses, Tak discovers strange coding that sends her on a search for answers. The clues lead her to uncover a conspiracy that governs all of Irken society. When the truth sends her on the run, she has no choice but to return to the one place the Tallest would never willingly go: Urth.

Meanwhile, Dib has noticed odd changes in Zim’s behavior. Has the invader simply grown bored of his mission over the last few years, or is there something more interesting going on?

People who asked to be tagged: @incorrect-invader-zim , @messinwitheddie, @reblogstupids, @cate-r-gunn, @agentpinerulesall​

If anyone else would like to be added to the tag list feel free to message me. Also, if you’re on the tag list and you changed your name, please just let me know. 

Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5.  Chapter 6.  Chapter 7. Chapter 8. Chapter 9. Chapter 10. 

[-]

Tak activated her Vortian disguise before she even entered the solar system. When dealing with the Meekrob, an Irken could never be too careful, especially after Tenn’s disappearance. Word around the stars was that her life signal suddenly went out one day. No one knew what happened. Apparently, the Tallest hadn’t received ant worrying reports. Her last transmission was a routine observation update. She wasn’t making any risky plans and she didn’t have a near-discovery. She was there one minute and gone the next. Soon afterward, the Meekrob put out a warning declaring that any Irken caught within their planet’s range would be killed on sight. It didn’t take a genius to figure out who was responsible for her disappearance.

It was a shame, really. Tak was a few levels ahead of Tenn in training, but she heard good things. Any invader assigned to Meekrob must be talented. They were, after all, Irk’s most formidable enemies. Safe to assume they had done her in. It was a tragedy that someone so young and bright had been cut down in her prime, but life as an invader was fraught with peril, at least so long as the enemy was intelligent.

Finally, they approached the planet Refirencee and, after going through a check point, she docked her ship in a public hanger. Before exiting her ship, she looked at MiMi. An information retrieval unit would be especially advantageous on this mission, but the engineering was too obviously Irken. “MiMi, cat disguise.” MiMi saluted and her holo-cloaking devise activated. Tak looked her over an nodded her approval. They were lucky an Urth cat looked so similar to a Vortian jelicle.

Satisfied with their cover, they hopped out of their ship and headed for the transport bay. There, they found a digital sign displayed the departure times for bullet trains which took the planet’s patrons to different sections of the massive data base. The trains were broken down by planet and the one for the Irken information section left in only a few minutes.

As they waited for their train, Tak noticed a few patrons looking at her. She tried to keep her eyes on the track before her and ignored their stares as she felt a light pounding in her chest.

One of the patrons approached her. “Um, excuse me,” he said, eyes turning to MiMi.

Tak shot him a glare. “What?”

“I’m not sure they allow pets.”

“She’s an emotional support jelicle,” Tak said. A spark flashed across her eyes and the patron’s face went blank for a second.

“Right,” he answered, almost robotically. “Sorry I bothered you.”

The train arrived and Tak and MiMi boarded. They took a seat and the train took off at break-neck speed. They arrived at the Irken section in a matter of minutes. She stepped off the train to find her self in a large, domed building, surrounded by towers of data cartridges. Sorting droids buzzed about, arranging cartridges to their rightful places. In the center of it all, a librarian sat at a large, circular information desk.

“Excuse me,” Tak said, approaching the desk. “Where can I find information on the cyber age?” It would be a good start. The invention of the PAK kicked off the era.

“That will be section 8792,” the librarian answered. “I’ll call you a browsing cart.”

The librarian pushed a button and a cart zipped up to the desk. It was just a flat, hovering rectangle with a handrail and a control board at the front. Tak and MiMi hopped on and she entered the section number into the control panel.

“By the way,” Tak said, turning to the librarian, “forget I was here.” The spark flashed across her eyes again and the Librarian’s face went blank. Tak hit the start button and her cart zipped off. She arrived at her destination within seconds.

“MiMi, find a data console about PAK invention,” Tak ordered as they stepped off the cart. MiMi saluted and slinked through the aisles. While she waited, Tak sat down at a computer desk. In a few minutes, MiMi returned with a data console marked “Irken Cyber Age Vol. 1”. Tak took and plug it into the computer. She scrolled through the text, skimming over most of it. The information mainly consisted of things any smeet would know. After the control brains were built, they gave the scientists the idea to build the PAKs. These PAKs efficiently distributed Irken knowledge and ushered in a glorious new age of blah, blah, blah…

Yes, every Irken alive knew their basic history. But what about the PAKs themselves? How were they built? How did they work? Tak was beginning to wonder if this was a waste of time. After all, the key to PAK mechanics was Irk’s most guarded secret. She shouldn’t expect to find that information here. In fact, she should be glad that knowledge hadn’t fallen into enemy hands.

She continued to scroll and a picture caught her eye. It showed the five engineers in charge of the PAK project. The face of one particular engineer kept glitching in and out. He was decently tall. Not tall enough to be considered for the upper echelons of tallness, but a good height none the less. His round, purple eyes caught hers and she studied his uneasy grin. The names of each engineer were listed in the caption and one name, Krislotch, glitched in time with the face. It couldn’t be a coincidence. Someone wanted her to pay attention to this guy.

Was it even Krislotch himself? Very well, you have my attention. Now what do you want. She scrolled down a bit further and noticed individual letters glitching as well. A message perhaps? Hidden in the page? What are you trying to tell me, Krislotch?

“MiMi, my tablet.”

MiMi reached into her head and took out a small, metal canister. Tak unfolded it into tablet mode and took out a stylus. She wrote down each letter in order.

A COMPLETE HISTORY OF IRKEN INDUSTRY VOL 13. CHAP 78.

Now this was interesting. It seemed Krislotch left her a little crumb trail. Where it led, she could only guess, but she simply had to follow. She ordered MiMi to find the volume mentioned. When the SIR unit returned, she plugged it into the computer and jumped straight to the designated chapter. Reading through it, she found it was about a factory disaster which resulted in a great number of deaths. Apparently, some worker named Mia, somehow, caused a back up of materials at her station. The machine couldn’t put out new materials, overheated, and caught fire. For some reason, the sprinkler system was disabled, and the fire only spread. Fifty-seven workers, including Mia, died in the accident.

As Tak read the page, she spotted two full sentences glitching. The first gave the number of those dead and the other showed the date. She wasn’t sure why the number of dead was important, but even a smeet a few minutes old knew the significance of the date. This disaster took place exactly 0.1 cycles before Installation Day, the day all Irkens were given their PAKs.

More letters glitched. Put together, they led to a console called “The Irken Cyber Age: a Complete History vol. 1.” They also directed her to a page which, once she read it, confirmed her suspicions. Krislotch did, in fact, want her to know the disaster occurred 0.1 cycles before Installation day. But apart from that, what was the connection?

Yet again, more letter glitched. She’d picked up the trail. Glitching letters led her to a console of Irken History, itself with more glitching letters leading her to the next clue. As she read on, a clear pattern began to emerge. Since the introduction of the PAKs, every major historical event was preceded by a deadly disaster by exactly 0.1 cycles. The historical events mainly revolved around Irken galactic conquest: military campaigns, invasion launches, and the like. The disasters varied widely, but they all had a few things in common. They were all caused by an Irken who then died in the disaster, and they all left fifty-seven dead. Even the names of the Irkens who caused them were similar: Mia, Mib, Mic, Mid, Mie…

The trail stopped before reaching more recent events. The final set of glitching letters gave her the title “An Observatory Study of the Final Days of Ecore,” as well as the coordinates to the console’s location, which rested in a completely different part of Refirencee. She’d waste no time getting there, but something nagged at her.

There must be some current events which fell into the pattern, she thought. Things I would remember. Operation Impending Doom was the obvious answer. It was the most recent invasion launch, but she couldn’t think of any major disasters that preceded it. Then again, the launch date had to be delayed due to… Wait… Was that it? How many died that day? And how long after did Impending Doom II launch? She had to check to be sure.

“MiMi, find information on the original Operation Impending Doom.”

MiMi swept off and quickly returned with a new data console. A quick look confirmed her suspicions. Fifty-seven dead in a rampage caused by disgraced Invader Zim. Impending Doom II launched exactly 0.1 cycles later. It was a close fit, but it wasn’t’ perfect. Zim was alive, for one thing, while the other disaster causers died. Another was the name. It didn’t fit the pattern, unless…

Tak slapped her palm to her forehead. Was the idiot such a complete incompetent that he got his own assigned name wrong?

Surely more answers would be found in the next console.

She and MiMi rode the cart to the closest train station and took the next train to a section called Dead Planets. Once there, they took another cart to the location designated by the glitching letters. As they approached, they found they weren’t looking for a data console at all. The coordinates Tak punched into the cart took them to a section deep in the library. The shelves surrounding them held actual, physical books. Judging by the layers of dust, they were the first lifeforms to enter these aisles in a long time.

They made it to the correct shelf and Tak ordered MiMi to locate the book. The robot found it in matter of seconds and brought it to her. Tak brushed off the cover and opened the book. A small, plastic square fell out and landed on the floor with a clack. She picked it up and turned it over in her hands. It was a data storage device not used in ages. This was old technology, ancient even, but whatever was on it must be important. She pocketed it and sat down on the floor to read. As the book wasn’t in Irken, she couldn’t read it without assistance. She tapped the implant on the side of her head and a universal translator monocle popped out, covering her eye. She began to read.

A Note to the Reader

When I began this journey, I had no intention of chronicling the final days of Ecore. It began as an anthropological study to discern what made this once-thriving civilization drop out of contact with the greater solar system. I set up a hidden shelter on the outskirts of Ecorien society and observed from the outside. My discoveries explain, not only the degradation of Ecorien culture, but the death of the planet itself.

Tak poured through the book, wondering what this weak, primitive culture possibly had to do with Irk. The anthropologist wrote about the Ecorien’s devotion to, what he called, “the Many-Eyed God.” Apparently, this new theology was a sharp deviation from known Ecorien culture. In the past, the Ecoriens revered their planet’s natural resources and energy. This new god was completely unheard of.

He also went on to describe the people’s changed appearance. They looked thin and sickly, and aged rapidly. They’d go to their god for supposed cures, but they didn’t seem to do any good. The people never got better from what plagued them, no matter how devotedly they followed their god.

The most fascinating part was a barbaric ritual referred to as a “blood toll.” When the Ecoriens asked their god for a large favor, such as a bountiful harvest or a cure for a plague, the god would order a blood toll. They brought fifty-seven young, healthy Ecoriens before their god and slaughtered them.

Fifty-seven… Fifty-seven Irkens… Fifty-seven Ecoriens… Was this what Krislotch wanted me to see? She read on.

Soon, she reached the final days of Ecore. An uprising broke out among the younger generations of Ecoriens. The blood toll sacrificed many of them and the elders asked the Many-Eyed God for more and more favors as the species grew weaker. The youths fought back against the elders, refusing to be sacrificed. However, the history of blood tolls had greatly reduced their numbers. Relatively few were young enough to be prime candidates for sacrifice, but old enough to fight. The elders overpowered them. The Many-Eyed God ordered the mass slaughter of the younger generations, promising to restore youth and health to the elders.

Youths died by the thousands, from young adults, to children, to infants. At the end of the bloodbath, the Many-Eyed God detached itself from the planet’s core. It drifted into space, leaving the Ecoriens with nothing but the blood on their hands. With the younger generations wiped out, they were doomed to extinction.

Tak turned the page in horrified awe. The last days of this planet were truly a massacre. The Ecoriens, tricked by this god, turned on their own. Their own god used them, sucked them dry, and abandoned them when they had nothing left to give. This wasn’t just the death of a planet. This was the murder of one.

What this massacre had to do with Irk and PAKs, she still couldn’t say, but the number fifty-seven stuck out in her mind. Fifty-seven died in the Irken disasters. Fifty-seven slaughtered in the Ecorien blood tolls. The connection was obvious, but what it meant escaped her. The Irkens had no gods, not for a few millennia at least. They thrived on science, technology, and conquest. It was said, even before the cyber age, that the Irkens bowed to no laws, but made their own. Nothing calling itself a god could gain this kind of influence on Irk.

But when she turned the page, her vail of denial evaporated. She dropped the book in shock. MiMi swept up to her and peered over Tak’s shoulder. The book lay open on the floor, displaying a two-page spread of images of the Many-Eyed God. Some were sketches. Some were photos taken at a distance. All displayed the same familiar entity. She’d looked into these eyes. This “god” encoded her as an elite trainee. She begged this “god” for the opportunity to prove her worth. This “god” denied her and banished her to Dirt, a husk of wasted potential.

The Control Brain and the Many-Eyed God were one and the same.

She stared down at the book as the truth stared back at her. This thing, whatever it was, had wormed its way into Irken society. It controlled them, fed off them. They even had their own blood toll of sorts. In the end, the Ecoriens withered away to nothing. They were sucked dry and left to rot. It was only a matter of time before the same happened to Irk. This thing, the Control Brain, has to be stopped.

The number 10:00 appeared in the corner of her vision and began ticking down. 9:59… 9:58… “My life clock!” How? Why? Her PAK was still attached. It shouldn’t… Wait, the Control Brain. Her PAK emitted a constant stream of information to the Control Brain and she just had a rebellious thought. There was no time to waste.

“MiMi,” she commanded. Almost as an afterthought, she realized her holo-disguise had gone out. “Take me to the ship. Top speed.”

MiMi stretched out her arms, wrapping them around Tak, and propulsion jets burst from her feet. She flew them out of the library, across the planet, and to the parking bay at such a speed, the world became a nauseating blur. By the time they arrived back at the ship, she had less than 8:00 minutes to save herself.

She plugged her PAK into the ship. “Computer, life-supports error check, immediately.”

After a few seconds of scanning, her computer answered. “Life support systems completely shut down.”

Her insides dropped. “Search for the cause.”

A few more seconds of scanning passed. “Systems shut down after a command initiated by the Control Brain remote feedback program.”

It was as she suspected. “Suggested solutions?”

“Remove feedback chip and manually restart system.”

She felt her guts twist and her body broke into a sweat. Remove feedback chip? Every Irken alive knew it was treason to disconnect from the Control Brain. She’d be an outlaw, a traitor. Returning to Irken-controlled space would be a death sentence for her. But I’m going to die right now if I don’t.

She had no choice. If even thinking about saving her planet from this… this… parasite made her a traitor, then traitor she was. She pulled the plug from her PAK and removed it from her back. She had only a few minutes before her organic brain turned to mush.

She opened a compartment of tools and then opened a panel on her PAK. With a set of tweezers, she located the feedback chip and, with a tug, marked herself traitor. Using a shocking fork, she restarted the life support systems. She turned around, the PAK reattached, and her life clock disappeared. Already, she could feel her body reinvigorating, but the weight of what she’d just done fell heavy on her.

Right now, the Armada was receiving an automated notification that Tak, the deserter janitor, had gone traitor. Orders would be issued for her capture or killing. Every Irken in the military would know her face. She could never go back.

And she couldn’t linger here. She and MiMi made quite the scene with their exit. People would come after them. Anyone who managed to get a look as they flew past could clearly see she was Irken. They had to get far, far away from Irk and far, far away from here.

She powered up the engines and flew the ship out of the parking bay, still unsure of where to go. Anywhere in Irken-controlled space was out and word that an Irken was spotted on a Meekrobian-protected planet would soon spread. She had to go somewhere remote, a planet uncharted and ignored by most of the known universe, a place the Tallest would never willingly go.

She let out a roaring, agonized groan as her mind landed on the perfect answer. It was both the safest place in the universe to hide and the last place she wanted to be, especially in this state. Still, she had no choice.

“Computer,” she growled, pinching the bridge between her eyes. “Set coordinates to Urth.”

[imaginationintowords]

About Time.

Chris Evans x Reader fluff

word count: 1551

Requested.

Plot:  He and reader are co-stars in the MCU, and they kind of secretly like each other, but in denial. At a comic-con panel the cast give a few hints about them liking each other, and they later set them up together.

We were all backstage talking, killing time before our big comic con panel. I was talking with Elizabeth Olsen, Lizzy.

“Nervous?” she asked, nodding to my fidgety fingers.

“Just a little anxious. No matter how many times we do this, it won’t ever be ‘normal’.” I tell her. 

“You’re telling me.” someone says from behind me.

I turn around to be greeted by the ever so handsome, Chris Evans.

“Hey Chris.” I smiled, feeling a bit of my nerves fading away.

“If you get too anxious, just squeeze my hand. I’ll be right there to help.” he smiled.

“Thanks Chris.” I smiled, trying to fight the blush forming on my cheeks.

“Anything for you.” he winked, before grabbing a water bottle and joining Robert and Hemsworth’s conversation.

I couldn’t help the smile growing on my face, and the redness on my cheeks.

“Seriously [Y/N], I don’t know what you two are waiting for.” she says.

“What do you mean?” I ask confused.

“You, Chris, - wait. Are you being serious?” she says, even more confused than I am.

“I don’t have any clue as to what you’re talking about.” I tell her, still not getting it.

“Oh, sweet [Y/N]. You’ll get it eventually.” she said, patting my shoulder.

“Okay. Everyone, please line up. Five minutes!” a stage hand announced.

I got in my place in between Chris and Hemsworth.

As they began calling our names, we walked out to be greeted by a room full of screams.

“You good?” Chris turned around and asked me.

“Yeah. I’m good.” I smiled.

“Now you know him as Captain America, please welcome Chris Evans!” the moderator announced.

“Show time.” Chris says, before walking out.

“Now introducing the talented, and wonderful [Y/N]!”

You walked out smiling and waving to the sea of people, making your towards your seat next to Chris.

----

Everything was going smoothly, we were about an hour into the panel, and it was time for audience questions. Those always make me the most nervous, because you never know what they’re going to ask.

“Can we expect any new romances?” a fan asked.

“Great question! Perfect for Evans, and [Y/N] to answer, since they know all about romances.” Robert says winking towards us.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Chris nervously laughed.

“Oh. Just that you and  [Y/N] have first hand experience in that department.” Robert teases, causing the crowd to erupt.

"I think what Robert means, is that our characters have a romantic history." I quickly say, to get the focus back on track.

"Yeah, that's exactly what he meant." Scarlet sarcastically says, quietly into the microphone.

"Right. Our characters romance has been hinted at since the end of Age of Ultron." Chris says, ignoring Scarlet's remark.

"The kiss!" someone shouted from the crowd.

"Ah the kiss, right." Chris says, remembering that fan favorite moment.

"Steamy kiss. Had the whole crew shook up." Hemsworth said.

"Had to hose these two down afterwards." he continued to tease, getting the exact response he wanted from the crowd.

I rolled my eyes at his comment.

"I really thought these two were going to take it back to their trailer." Robert jokes.

"Robert!" I shrieked, in complete shock.

"Hey. It was a nice, hot steamy kiss, you two should be very proud of yourselves." Robert raised his hands in defense.

"Okay. Okay. Knock it off you two. Give the lovebirds a break." Elizabeth says, clapping her hands to get everyone's attention.

"We're not lovebirds." I cautiously say.

"Yeah. [y/n] and I are just friends. The second you hear action, you just get lost in your characters." Chris said, smiling at me.

"Exactly. And I think you'll see that in this new movie also. The differences between Steve and Charlotte, and the dynamics of their relationship, and how it all plays out." I finish off the answer.

------

The rest of the panel went by smoothly, the comments towards Chris’ and I calmed down, thankfully.

We all made our way back to the backstage area.

“Some panel, huh.” Chris asked as we made our way to the craft’s table.

“Yeah. For the most part, I think it went smoothly.” I laugh.

“Once we got the children off a certain topic.” he smiles, as Elizabeth came up to us.

“Hey you two. Me and the rest of the crew were going to dinner later tonight. You two in?” she asks us.

“Sounds good to me.” I say.

“Same here.” Chris agrees.

“Perfect. I’ll text you two the time and the place.”

------

I got to the restaurant at the same time as Chris.

“Hey. Are we the first ones to arrive?” I asked him as we stepped into the restaurant.

“Looks that way.” he said looking around for the rest of the group, as we walked up to the hostess podium.

“Hi. We are here under the Robert reservation.” I tell her.

“Ah yes. Robert for two.” she tells us.

“Uh. No. It should actually be a bigger party. Around 15.” I tell her, sharing a confused look with Chris, as he checks his phone.

“I’m sorry. We only have it down for two.” she apologizes, flipping through her reservations book.

“That can’t be right.” I turn towards Chris.

“Actually, it is. Looks like everyone cancelled.” he said showing me the group chat.

“What a coincidence.” I sarcastically say.

“Will you two still be joining us for dinner tonight?” the hostess asks.

“Might as well. Since we’re here.” Chris shrugs.

“Wouldn’t hurt.” I smiled up at him.

The hostess lead us through the restaurant to our table. Chris had his hand placed on my lower back as we walked through, I could feel the goosebumps take over my body.

“You look really nice tonight.” Chris comments, once we are seated.

“Thank-you. So do you.” I blushed, glancing down at the menu.

------

A few drinks, a full meal, and many laughs later, Chris and I decided to walk the short distance back to our hotel.

“It’s such a nice night out.” I say glancing up at the sky, rubbing my arms as I feel a cold chill.

“Are you cold? Here take my jacket.” Chris said, taking off his jacket before I could protest.

“Thanks.” I smile at him, and he winks back.

“So, do you really think it was a coincidence that everyone magically cancelled tonight?” he asks, walking very closely to me.

“After what happened at today’s panel? I’m going to have to say no.” I laugh.

“Those guys, will be the death of us.” He shakes his head playfully.

“I mean, they weren’t wrong.” I tell him.

“About what?” he asked.

“I mean, that kiss was a pretty steamy one.” I playfully nudge him, causing him to let out a loud laugh.

“It was, wasn’t it.” he agreed.

There was a comfortable silence that fell between us as we walked.

"I'm glad we had tonight." Chris said after awhile.

"Me too. I had a really great time. It's not everyday I get to have dinner with great company."

"Oh, come on. I'm sure men are knocking down your door to take you out." he says.

"You would think so, but no." I lightly laugh at his assumption.

"Seriously?" he asked flabbergasted.

"Don't be so surprised. These days men are either intimidated by your success, or by your independence." I explain to him.

"Well there loss. They're missing out on someone truly wonderful." he smiles at me.

"Thanks, but you have to say that. We're friends." I blush, pushing away the butterfly feeling in my stomach.

"Yeah. Friends." he sighs.

"What if we weren't just friends?" Chris asks after a few seconds of silence, stopping a few feet from our hotel.

"What?" I asked confused, and stopping next to him.

"What if we weren't just friends. What if we had more nights like tonight." he says.

"I"m sorry. I'm confused." I say, feeling a little lightheaded.

"I mean we both had a great night, right. We've known each other for years. It's not this crazy coincidence that everyone cancelled. They've teased our relationship since our first scene together. We get along great." He says wholeheartedly.

"I'm not intimidated by you. Hell, I admire all those things about you and more. I think you're fucking incredible. I always tried to push those feelings away because, why would anyone as wonderful as you want to be with someone like me? But after tonight, if I don't go for it, I might always wonder what could've been. And I've been imaging what if's since I first met you. I'm done being afraid because I now know what I've been missing." he passionately continues, catching me off guard, but making my heart leap.

I can feel my eyes begin to water.

"I know this may all be too much, but I couldn't hold it in any longer." he finishes.

I'm at a lost for words, so I do the only thing I can think of.

I stood on the tip of my toes, and reached for the back of his head, gently crashing my lips against his. I could sense the surprise coming from him, but he quickly regained composure and began to kiss back. I could feel him wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me in closer.

There we stood for awhile, my arms around his neck, just kissing. Enjoying this moment that took us too long to get to.

After awhile we both pulled back with matching smiles on our faces.

"I'll take that as you feel the same way." he whispers.

"I feel the same way." I whisper back, pressing another kiss to his lips.

"I guess we'll have to thank the guys later." he says, causing me to laugh lightly.

"They're never going to let us live this down." I say, feeling the smile on my face growing by the second.

"We'll be able to manage." he smiles, leaning in for another kiss.