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traincat · 8 months

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hi!! ikesoren height anon again, thank you for the detailed answer!! i honestly loved how thorough it was, but you talking about the height and weight stats in-game also made me think—soren's probably not wearing any armor into battle with a weight stat like that, huh?? ike being even heavier than he is tall makes sense because he's got armor and a big sword and whatnot, but soren is really just charging into battle in nothing but a shirt and cloak... i know mechanically it's somewhat normal for mage classes in these kinds of games to only wear light/leather armor or even just cloaks, but i wonder how ike feels about soren waltzing into fights with zero padding lol

Hi height anon! Yeah, like you said, it's pretty typical for Fire Emblem mages not to wear much in the way of armor. Typical fantasy RPG things. (His strength stat in FE9 starts at, uh. Zero.)

But on the general topic of Ike worrying over Soren/being protective over him, there's a couple of things this ask brought to mind, like these quotes from Soren's introductory chapter.

Shinon: All right, Ike. Let’s see how you handle the role of captain. Well? What are your orders, boy? We’ll do what you say, so long as you hurry up and spit it out! Ike: I know, I know! I’m thinking! Give me a moment, will you, Shinon? Shinon: Bah. Useless! We’d be better led with Mist than this soft, untested whelp. Ike: Let’s see…We’re in the middle of the road, and there’s not much cover. Soren and Rhys are vulnerable, so we have to protect them from enemy attacks…Right? Soren: That’s a sound strategy, Ike. I can attack from behind your defenses. Good thinking. Ike: Do you mean that? Um…all right! Let’s do that then.

(FE9, Chapter 4.) For context, Ike's the son of a mercenary commander and this is the first job he's been given lead over, so he's very much still learning how to command -- so this is a little bit tutorial-y for players, built into the script, since Soren is your first mage and positioning him behind a character with better defense like Ike is a pretty good strategy for training him up. (There's also some boss dialogue much later where Shinon accuses Soren of, quote, "hiding behind Ike's apron.") The above is the default, where everyone is alive, but there's this variation if you've (somehow) gotten multiple other characters killed.

Soren: Ike, do you have any ideas on how you want to approach this fight? Ike: Let’s see…We’re in the middle of the road, and there’s not much cover. You’re vulnerable, so I have to be sure you’re protected from enemy attacks, right? Soren: Right. Er…sorry for the trouble…but I appreciate the consideration. Ike: Sure. All right, let’s do that then.

I think the awkwardness of this variation is really cute, tbh, down to Soren apologizing for the trouble. It fits considering how young they both are at this point in the game, and that it takes place in the early chapters before war breaks out.

And then a variety of "death" quotes -- Soren is too plot important to actually be killed before the very final chapters of FE10, so if you do get him killed, Ike will order him to retreat. (Classic Fire Emblem has permadeath for characters, and it's sort of an in-joke-that's-not-entirely-a-joke that a lot of players, including me, will just reset if characters die. Listen, it's the right way to play. But I always like looking at the death quotes, they tell you a lot about the characters, and Soren has a lot of special ones.)

Soren: Oof! That was…poorly done. Ike: Retreat, Soren! You’ve done all you can here! Soren: But, Ike… Ike: You heard me. Fall back! You can still help us with our planning. Besides, if you tell us all what to do, we’ll be better off, right? Soren: I… I understand… Please…be careful!

(Up until FE9, chapter 17.)

Soren: Oh… Ow! Ike: Hold it, Soren! You’re not staying in this a moment longer! Withdraw! Soren: Ike, I can still– Ike: Our tactician isn’t allowed to make faces like that. Ever! Listen, we need you planning our strategies at base, so leave that attitude behind. That is unless you have a problem with the two of us in command. Soren: Of-of course not! I didn’t see… … I understand. But listen… Stay safe, Ike.

(FE9, chapter 18 until the endgame chapter.)

Soren: Argh! Not now… It’s the last battle… How could I be so careless? Ike: Soren! Just fall back! This may be the last battle for Crimea, but it won’t be the last battle for us, will it? Soren: What? Ike: We’re mercenaries. After this battle, there will be hundreds, maybe thousands of fights ahead. Am I wrong? Soren: I… No… Ike: Right. So get out of here. Our little group needs you! Do you understand? Soren: Ike… I understand. I will withdraw… Ike! Don’t let me down!

(FE9, endgame.)

Soren: …Ugh… What a terrible place… to die… Ike: Soren, retreat! Soren: But, Ike… Ike: Aren’t you supposed to be my strategist? Use your head! I need your help. Soren: …I see. As you command…

(FE10, part 3.)

And, okay, listen, not on the subject of Ike being protective, but Soren's endgame actual death quote is a lot.

Soren: Ike… Please live… Even if all the cities burn, and the seas swallow Tellius… You mustn’t die… Not you…

(FE10, part 4 endgame.)

There's also some fun game mechanics at play -- if you have Ike and Soren next to each other in FE9, Ike negates critical hits against Soren. Soren is the only character he does this for, notably.

The possessed version of Ike from the mobile game also explicitly warns only three characters to stay away from him so he won't hurt them -- Mist, his sister; Titania, his surrogate mom; and Soren.

#traincat talks fire emblem #/#//#///#/////#ikesoren #*replies

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ryuichirou · 1 month

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Replies

Some replies! A couple about today’s comic from ko-fi, a couple about our stuff and fandom stuff in general.

Starting with the ko-fi ones…

Anonymous asked:

Another ghost behind the ghost guard: “Um, is the jar mandatory or, you know, optional.”

(Give them a break, they’ve had a dry spell for CENTURIES)

Anonymous asked:

Same ghost: “Oh noooo! Don’t RAVISH me!!! I’m sooooo helpless!!”

Oh my god, that’s one desperate ghost!!

That ghost should change its strategy though, or rather, start pretending to run away instead – I think this would trigger Rook’s “gotta catch it, gotta hunt it down, gotta make love to it” instinct.

I think the jar is mandatory though, but I don’t think anyone would have the courage to ask Rook why…

(I’m sorry, people with no context)

Anonymous asked:

Can I just say how much I love the kisses you draw? They’re so sexy and sensual and full of passion.

And tongue. Love the amount of tongue lol

AhhHH I am so happy…! Thank you for your kind words.

To be honest, I still feel a bit weird whenever I draw kisses a lot of times, mostly because when I spend too much of then they start looking weird in my eyes. So I really am very happy to hear that you like how I draw them!

Anonymous asked:

I love how you write/ draw Lilia. I want this old fae man to take care of me. 😭😭😭😭

Omg Anon! If anything, the way I write/draw Lilia should make you not want this old fae man to take care of you… 😨

In any case, thank you so much! I am super flattered and happy to hear that <3

Anonymous asked:

I saw a post and it made me think of your art

https://www.tumblr.com/i-will-write/759303532492013568?source=share

>w>;

YES this is me sitting down to write wholesome hcs and ending up with another cursed post. Thank you 😭

This is so true though..! Sometimes the best way to express love to your blorbos is to make them suffer.

Anonymous asked:

From talking to my friends, it seems the main concern (for them at least) is when pro-shippers don't make clear that they don't support this stuff irl. I think it's obvious, but they said that people can do this sort of thing because their into it irl? idk. You've made it repeatedly clear that ur not though, so the antis ur dealing w/ r just dicks. If they don't like a ship, just ignore it. I personally feel uncomfortable with Deuce/Crewel, so i blocked the tag and I enjoy the rest of your work. If they have a specific issue with a ship, they should just block it or block you. You're not hurting anyone, so their is no reason to interfere. That is my opinion or relationships irl too. If it is consensual and not hurting anyone, than its fine, regardless of what society says.

First of all, thank you very much for understanding and being polite about stuff that you don’t like. I am very happy you could enjoy this blog despite the fact that there are some ships that you are uncomfortable with. I also absolutely agree with you that there is no reason to do anything when a person isn’t hurting anyone, and that goes for relationships too.

Second of all, while I can understand where your friends are coming from, I kind of have mixed feelings about the idea that proshippers don’t make clear that they don’t support this stuff irl. You said yourself that it’s obvious, and yes it is absolutely obvious. No one owes anyone an explanation or a declaration of not supporting this stuff irl because it’s the very foundation of proship/dead dove/anything related to this type of fiction: as long as it’s fictional, it’s okay. Fiction is not reality. This idea (that keeps being repeated by everyone all the time, including conversations proship people have with antis) pretty much states “I love this as long as it’s fictional and because it’s fictional, I would not be doing it irl. This is fiction, reality is reality”. It’s the default condition.

I think it’s unfair to state that all proshippers have to explain themselves because there are people among them who support this kind of stuff irl, because yeah there are, and there are people like that among the antis too. There are hypocrites who groom kids and cover it up by making it feel like they’re teaching them something good and unproblematic. There are bad apples everywhere, and thinking by default that a group of people is a bunch predators unless they specifically state “I don’t’ support irl incest” is kind of… not nice? And while this is probably not what your friends are doing, it sounds like a very convenient excuse to harass someone. “Well they didn’t make it clear enough that they are not a creep” type of thing. And it’s not like actually saying that you don’t support it irl helped anyone to avoid harassment. It surely didn’t help me at all, and I believe it worked exactly the same way for every other soul.

It’s one thing not to trust these kinds of people personally and to avoid them because you get bad vibes from them that make you uncomfortable, but in that case one would just block. It’s the mature thing to do. You shouldn’t fully trust people on the internet in general because you don’t really know them. But then again, not vibing with someone while ignoring them and harassing are two completely different things.

Once again, thank you for your support and understanding, as well as for sharing this perspective with me.

Anonymous asked:

Not the same anon but incidentally, trolls was the first fandom I saw Antis in and that was when they wrote a callout post which I thought was for actual grooming and when in fact it was referring to a drawing.

Boy, was I pissed.

The third movie just unleashed even more with how popular it was. The funny thing is, the music producer specifically said he was trying to channel 50 Shades of Grey in the soundtrack and that the main leads had sexual tension 😂😂😂

Oh no the antis of the trolls fandom…! Anon, I’m so sorry. No idea about what kind of situation there was and I know nothing about trolls, but still.

But yeah, I think everyone had this experience. When you think that something truly horrible happened, and then it’s just… drawings. Sometimes it’s drawings from 10 years ago. People really love this whole adrenalin rush of maybe ruining someone else’s life with just one post and a bunch of “proofs” that is always just a huge nothingburger.

The trivia about 50 shades is hilarious though lol Now this is going to be the only trolls fact that I know!

#replies

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bonvoyagenoona · 2 years

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A Map of Mrs. Kims | KSJ, KNJ, KTH | What You Need to Know #01

Hi, everyone! As you all know, I’m building this fic as we go, based on your input, so I wanted to share some quick AMOMK updates that I’m really excited about! I’ve numbered them, so if there ones in the future, you can follow along!

THE STARTER PACKS

Have you seen random posts and thought, “What is this???” 🤣

Well, A Map of Mrs. Kims is a project that I started last year based on this beautiful anon ask! That ask began a short story that I wrote about Jin, Namjoon, and Taehyung, who are brothers visiting their father, Jihu/Mr. Kim, and mother, Bongseon/Mrs. Kim for their usual weekly, Sunday dinner. And every week, during their usual Sunday dinner, Mrs. Kim brings out her map, a list and infographic of the top bachelorettes in the city that have gone through her rigorous application process to date one of the Kim brothers! Mrs. Kim’s main goal is to find three Mrs. Kims of their very own --- but Jin, Namjoon, and Tae have other plans!

Over the last year, that short story has grown into an entire universe, filled with over 300 drabbles and asks (wild, wild), a planned longfic that will be updated monthly throughout 2022 (apologies for already being behind lol), the birth of two apparently extremely strong ships (Bongseon x Jihu, and Sad Girl x Namjoon!), the election of Mayor Paint & Simp Anon (who is also in the running), a website that is currently being beta tested 🤣, and even a potential spin-off (Yoongi / Work Wife Yoongles is somewhere out there, sweating)???

And now, some supplemental materials!

First, here are some starter packs!

The Official AMOMK Starter Pack: more info about the story and some key, selected drabbles to give you context!

The Official Sad Girl Starter Pack: more info on what a Sad Girl is (i.e., the trope/characterization, its origins in media, and its relevance to AMOMK), plus the main drabbles to give you backstory!

THE MAP

Check out Bongseon’s map masterpost as we go to get more details about each bachelorette, as well as Bongseon’s notes about them! (It’ll always be kept under the READ MORE / KEEP READING cut if you want to avoid spoilers!) Thanks @shyfoxarbiter16 for the suggestion, way back when we first started this journey!

THE STORY

I experimented with Bachelorette drabbles for the first section, NORTH, but to simplify, the dates are now being folded into the chapters! I talk about why I’m doing this here!

Chapter 02 has been slightly rewritten to incorporate this changes, but nothing has really structurally changed other than POV. And the Bachelorette drabble is now in the Extras section of the fic masterpost. If there’s inspiration or a strong demand for Y/N POV drabbles in each section, I’ll be happy to throw some treats as we go!

I am writing this story because it’s a really fun premise, and I’m seemingly infinitely inspired by this world, but most of all, it’s my gift to ARMY --- this fanfiction bubble has been incredibly gracious and wonderful to me, and you all are so, so creative with your headcanons that you contribute so frequently, and with such care, love, and depth!

You’ve shared everything, from fodder, to questions, to critiques, to deeply personal stories that have such a humbling and celebrated thread of humanity through them. I know I say this every time, but any time you reach out to tell me that something the boys did reminds you of their AMOMK characterizations, or when something in your own lives makes you think about the Kims, my heart absolutely soars.

Thanks for sharing, and for being so down to come along with me on this experiment! All of these links will also be updated on the fic masterpost shortly! Eager to hear what you think --- always so happy whenever you stop by the AMOMK universe!

Read A Map of Mrs. Kims / AMOMK here!

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onstoryladders · 3 years

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gramblack lawyer fic anon: omg u r under no obligation to write it lol (but if you did id owe u my life) i was just putting it out there for any takers 👀 and ur so right i wanted to write it myself but i literally know negative things about the thai law system 😭

but literally i haven’t been able to stop thinking about the possibilities…..like imagine gram and black haven’t spoken since the events of the finale. and gram finished school and became a lawyer and works for a big firm, rich and successful. and black never went back to school and focused on doing activism where he could, underground and lowkey and alone. and gram lands black’s case as part of his pro bono work and they reunite as two people totally unsure as to where they’re at relationshipwise. ex best friends?? frenemies?? ‘oh this is an old buddy of mine’??? working on the case together gives them the opportunity to get to know each other again but also for the first time. black reminds gram, who’s gotten distracted over the years being a big successful lawyer, of what he used to believe in, of his roots. and how much he used to believe in black specifically and how much black inspired him. and maybe. the case gets bigger than they thought and people start coming after them and MAYBE gram gets kidnapped and black has to save him AND JUST MAYBE we have a scene of an injured gram riding behind black. maybe even todd comes back out of the wood works to help them out and truly bury the hatchet with black. maybe to win the case they need to get the whole gang back together. maybe at the end gram helps black go back to school and finish his law degree, and they talk about opening up a practice to help ppl in need. and maybe they make out. maybe they make out whooooooooooooooooooole lot.

(sorry. i know we’re trying to move on but the gramblack brainrot is permanent. my brain will never stop thinking of ways they can still end up together despite the mess gmmtv caused 😩)

Yooo, anon! Honestly I just thought your prompt was very interesting and it gave me Ideas™, so I started toying with it in my head. But since I have other stuff to write ATM I might never get to it – ’cause my mind is a VERY volatile thing lol

Woah, you wrote a whole novel there! Kudos to you, and thanks so much for sharing 😍 I can't see Gram ever forgetting his roots and what he stands for (although episodes 7-14 Gram could and I wouldn't be surprised) but the dynamic it'd create would be so interesting to explore! And I guess, since a lot can happen in a few years, one could make it work 🤔

Also I love how you included everyone and created a bigger context to bring back the themes of the series! And it's good you specified they make out a lot because that's something that can actually be so personal... and important... I'd say essential, even...

You know what, someone pass this ask to the GMMTV executives because they need to make this happen STAT. We need to see this – Gram getting through life with no motivation, dragging himself from day to day without purpose and with so many regrets on his conscience. But then destiny gives him a second chance, a chance to ask for forgiveness and find himself again...

Anyway! We're not moving on any time soon, it's time we face the truth dynekdyeb this wound won't be quick to heal, but fics can help 🤧 or even just-- exchanging ideas like this ❤

So thanks again for sharing 🥰

#not me the series #gramblack #not me series

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nightswithkookmin · 4 years

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JIKOOK BE CONCEPT- EXTENDED ANALYSIS

ANON: Hey Goldy, so I want to ask, what makes you look at one moment and decide the tension in there is nothing but then in another moment you claim Jikook are having issues? I ask because of the conclusions you drew on the photoshoot video when you said they were fighting but in two other instances where we can all clearly see that the mood between Jikook is tense like Jimin's mood in the Be Concept Clip and the other interview you have said it's nothing. I don't mean this in a disrespectful way, I just want to understand your thought process if you can walk me through it. It's ok if you don't respond. I love your posts regardless. Keep it up.

Thanks for your question.

I think I try my best as much as possible to share my thought process on why I reach certain conclusions and in instances where I do not have much time to delve deeper into a conversation I state an NB indicating I would be talking further about that particular topic later on?

I think the first thing I can point out to you right off the bat in regards to your question is that we may most likely be having different understandings of tension as pertains to shipping simply because we ship Jikook in different ways.

Again, I do not mean to say my perspective is superior or that someone else's is inferior. I'm just saying we may be having different views on the topic based on the differences in our shipping styles.

To me tension is not just a sense or feeling or mood. It is one of the metrics I employ in assessing whether or not a ship is real- stay with me.

In my experience, while people may be good at hiding a relationship, they can never hide the intimacy of the relationship or the stress of keeping that relationship a secret. Secrets are stressful to keep and they leave stress trails in their wake. It's as simple as that. If any ship is real in BTS you will see its stress marks.

It's not easy standing there, watching your man's nipples being played with, or having another man grope your intimate partner for entertainment purposes while you stand there smiling for the cameras- you can smile, but it's going to be fake.

It's not easy hearing how your man sneaks into another man's shower to watch him bathe and compliment the size of his dick.

It's not easy hearing how you can't stand next to your man in a line up while another person takes that position even if it's just for work.

It's not easy pretending not to love your man, while watching everyone else love on him. It's not easy being told what you can do and not do with your partner much less by your own peers.

It's not easy hiding your love and affection for the person you love, holding yourself back from kissing them, or hugging them or doing any of the intimate stuff you are so used to doing with them- not when you have to be around them all the time.

It's not easy having cameras shoved in your face during your alone, private time with your man, when you are watching them on giant screens and they are right there next to you but you can't hold them- please listen to JK's demo Delcacomania which he released on his birthday last year and you will understand why he cried when JM flew from Paris to see him on his birthday. I cried too.

My point is, it's really not easy keeping a relationship a secret within the same work space as your partner. It's not as easy as other shippers make it seem. That shit is stressful and stress begets tensions and tensions begets conflicts- especially if there are other people attached to the parties in the relationship.

A secret gets heavy before it gets easy but you can never erase the stress that comes with hiding that secret especially not in a group as diverse in personalities as BTS. There are bound to be clashes, there are bound to be slip ups- moments where the fourth wall is breached and many others.

Stress is usually one of the first indicators of people keeping anything a secret. I've been called toxic for this, but I pay a lot of attention to conflicts and tensions within the group dynamics regardless of the degree of that tension because that conflict to me is a sign of stress.

I can tell you for a fact, any ship that is kumbaya in BTS is not real. Any ship whose existence doesn't stress out the group dynamics is a ship made in Disney heading for Never-land. Conflict and tension is a sign of stress and stress is a sign of keeping secrets.

That's not to say every single tension within the group, between Jikook or any other ship is as a result of them keeping that ship a secret. I think we can rule out all forms of contrived tensions at this point- you know which ones I'm talking about. Ain't no damn person up in there tryna steal nobody's man in BTS. The fuck?! Lmho.

Then there are those tensions that are as a result of mood swings, bad hair days, a call being delayed, a missed period- what? some of them have girlfriends, cough cough. Yea, Don't mind me.

Tension could be caused by anything really and so I think it's not enough to point out tensions but you have to try and ascertain the cause and effect of that tension to see if that tension is as a result of the stress that comes with keeping Jikook a secret or whether it is rather causing stress or going to cause a stress in their relationship dynamics-

C'mon, now y'all know if Jimin should thirst over another man that that is going cause a lot of stress not just for JK but the group as well because Jikook's mood affects them too.

Jimlous and Jeonlous are also signs of the stress that comes with keeping Jikook's relationship a secret. Let's be honest, if they were out all of those wouldn't be happening. People wouldn't cross their boundaries as much as they do.

From my perspective, both of Jikook are constantly reacting, poorly might I add, to their relationship being a secret. It seems to me they both hate what they have to do to keep eachother a secret within the group.

Jimin keeps JK a secret by acting as if he is available and JK keeps Jimin a secret by acting as if he doesn't want him- cold, nonchalant, and the way I see them I think it drives them both crazy. Lol.

Jimin doesn't want to come out but he doesn't want to be kept a secret either. He just wants to be in that glass closet whereas JK seems to want to be out or completely hidden- he is not about that middle ground life, I feel. But that doesn't mean he doesn't make compromises especially where Jm is concerned.

Jimin is very conscious and highly judgmental of himself and I think he projects a bit of that into their relationship dynamics. As such he is constantly worrying about feedback, about how their relationship is affecting the group's dynamics.

You see this in the way he runs to JK upon the least complaints by any member about JK. Like when Jin complained about JK not choosing his bag over JM's, or when RM complained about JK buying a birthday present for only JM and not the others.

Or when RM complained about JK showing a song he had written to JM first before showing it to him in a VLive- now they didn't mention who they were talking about exactly but I knew from the moment JM started reciting Jikook's go to response for whenever they are called out for constantly being together, the whole 'we just so happened to be together in that moment,' that they were talking about JK. I don't know, I could be wrong.

JM is constantly trying to mitigate Jungkook's tendencies for exclusivity in their relationship especially where it conflicts with the groups interest even though that exclusivity and preferential treatment feeds directly into his love language.

It's that kumbaya in him I keep talking about. He would sacrifice their happiness for the groups. In my opinion.

But JK aint about that life. His entire philosophy is to pursue personal happiness first. So often, you would see him weaponizing their relationship secret against JM- trying to out him and shit. which in turn, ends up causing their relationship a ton of stress.

The best illustration I can give for this is when JK posted Ending Scene in early parts of 2019 and people started speculating Jikook had broken up because it was a break up song. JM immediately responded to that post with two posts, one about the Calico cat or something and the other pointing out how that song was just a cover. Jimin hates it when JK does something to create the impression that they are not together especially when they are together.

But at the same time, he would take a step back from their relationship, ask for space to try and nurture his other relationships with friends and family when he feels JK coming on too strong on him- like Jimin what do you actually want! You drive me nuts!

What I'm trying to say is that when you point out that JM looks tensed, you should be able to explain why you think he looks tensed.

And if you think his tension goes to the root of their relationship, then you should be able to predict the consequences of that tension too. Lol.

For me, I filter their tensions through their established patterns of behavior, their personalities and the actions that arise from their personalities- listen, the Maknae line can be very melancholic for no reason sometimes. Not sure what goes on but boy can they brood!

You have to consider all these things.

Tensions are obvious, obviously. Or maybe not. Most of them are quite easy to spot. Some not so much. They do go undetected if you are not hyper focused on them in certain moments when they happen or aren't aware of the context or subtext behind such moments.

Perspective is everything. We all don't have the same perspective. But no one holds the truth when it comes to Jikook. We can only speculate in a way that holds meaning to us.

Take for example Jimin and Jin's call during Jimin's VLive in March this year. There are a fraction of shippers who do not believe that that call was intercepted by JK at all simply because they do not see the subtext of that moment. Why would JK do that and not just reveal his identity, they ask. A valid point.

Then there are those who see JK interrupting that call as plausible because they believe they can differentiate between JK and Jin's call voice. Equally valid point.

Then there's me, who think yes that was JK's voice but goes further to try and anwer the questions raised by the first group as that, JK was pushing the boundaries both with JM and Bighit for barring him from doing a live with JM.

As such, I believe that call was an act of rebellion on his part to be allowed to Jikook with his man on the VApp. All that protest would then lead to a pivotal moment of him and JM having their VLive but under heavy surveillance. Lol.

Actions have consequences whether good or bad. Whether positive or negative. It's the cause and effect principle. Every effect has a predictable cause and every action has a specific and predictable effect.

If a moment of tension is created between them that is substantial, it is going to produce a subsequent substantial reaction. Law of Newton- I can't make this shit up. Lmho.

Another moment of this nature for me would be the VMin's unit interview filmed in February/March and released in June during Festa.

Now, if you were following the tensions between V and JK around that period, the context and subtext of that Interview would be easily apparent to you- V was just shading JK left right left. Bless him.

All that random flirting with Jimin- JM lost his Mochi cheeks, his pinky has grown were just code for JM is a grown ass man now so stop being possessive over him.

I have said Jikook have been asserting themselves against eachother this year following the lows of late 2019 and especially around that time period.

For Jimin, that self assertion takes the form of checking JK's over possessiveness over him as that is a huge cause of tensions within the group throughout the years and something that I feel really bothered JM in the later half of 2019 and early half of 2020.

Why does it bother him when he used to be the one enabling that shit in JK? The members, keep up. Lol but not just the members. Remember I said earlier how, Jikook had come under heavy scrutiny with May 2019 to June this year. JM I feel wanted to keep things really on the low but JK- sigh.

Believe it or not, JK dumb whipped ass exposes Jikook more than JM does in their relationship. In the very least his possessiveness and chest puffing when anyone breathes near JM is one of the biggest tells.

We all know Tae is one of the members that have openly pointed out his displeasure with JK keeping JM to himself, cutting him off from his friends and all. Now we all know also that Jimin's pinky is a huge deal to JK. The moment he saw VMin comparing pinkies that's when he began screwing with us for real! Lmho.

JK made a big deal about JM's pinky and also seemed to have a thing for JM's Mochi cheeks too, calling him his Mochi and shit right in front of Tae's salad. Listen, TAE KNOWS. He knows!

So I found it interesting, how those parts of JM were specifically the things that V felt had changed about Jimin- I mean go back and look at Tae's facial expressions and smirk when he started talking about that. Lmho.

Then Jimin clapped back with that whole pinky line from their song Friends, pointing out how contradictory Tae was being. Lol.

To me that has always been one aspect of Tae and JK's ship dynamics that I enjoy so much. Tae is constantly teasing and shading JK and it's so subtle yet passive aggressive sometimes. you might miss it if you don't understand the context of him saying certain things in certain moments.

He don't spare JM sometimes either. Chileee. You never know with this man. Lol.

I mean did y'all catch his jab at JK during Festa when JK brought up the rain fight and he said, yea but that was a long time ago though- give it a rest. When I tell you, this man knew JK was trying to one up him over the whole dumpling fight thingy he had with JM. Lmho.

Then in that dynamite MV reaction VLive when JK and JM tried to eye fuck through the viewfinder? Let's not look into the camera he says so eloquently then side eyes JK- I LOVE THIS MAN!!! Please stay on their necks for me. They play too much! Lmho.

JK's possessiveness over JM is one of the causes of tension within the group I feel and JK have said his hyungs try to teach him not to be so possessive. Tae, RM and Suga to me are those hyungs who keep him in check the most, most times.

All that being said, just because there is tension present between them in a given moment doesn't necessarily mean it's as a result of a conflict between them as I have explained in past posts.

The inverse of this is similarly true. Truth is we can never know these things for sure. We can only speculate.

And personally, as I keep pointing out I have my own metrics for assessing these kinds of things. I get it wrong sometimes and when I do, I simply adjust my metrics and keep it pushing.

It's my own customized metrics, the lens through which I filter their interactions and make sense of their moments and It works for me. Isn't that what having an opinion is about?

I find, some of their interactions or moments follow an established pattern of behavior from their past moments and so it's much easier to call those.

For instance, you don't need a six foot page analysis to identify Jimlous or Jeonlous when you see it. You don't need a crystal ball to tell you when JK nibbles on Jimin's ear that Jimin is nervous. They did that in 2018, they did that in 2019, they've done that in 2020- to me that's become a pattern and when I see JK anywhere near Jimin's ear depending on the setting I will conclude JM is nervous and JK is trying to comfort him.

All that would be left for me to determine then is why Jimin is nervous at all in that moment and if I find he has no reason to be nervous in that instant my next assumption then would be that Jeon Jungkook is horny. I'm not kidding. Jk scares me. Lol.

Don't mind me.

He could be horny or he could be touchy, or he could be just expressing his affections through skinship. All of that is valid so I would employ an elimination approach?

I would rule out Jikook sexual foreplay in instances like that based on whether or not JK's gesture was a mission given to him by the staff based on Jimin's reaction to that gesture- He seemed pretty disappointed when he learned that JK bopping his nose was just a mission.

At times too I test out theories.

Yes, Jimin is an extrovert but does he freeze out JK when he is being an extrovert? He doesn't. We have seen him grabbing the Jeon titties in behind the scenes photoshoot, we have seen JK shove his butt in JM's dick face, we have seen 50 shades of JK grab JM's neck and dip his hand down his neck into his chest region to warm himself up. We have seen Jikook at behind the scenes photo shoots countless times. They gravitate towards eachother.

So if he is being his extrovert self with every body but JK, and JK is orbiting him but not interacting with him as they have done in the past then honestly I don't need my crystal ball to assume something is up between them. Why? Because Jikook's interactions behind the scenes aren't susceptible to false conditionings as compared to the intentional, exaggerated versions of their interactions on camera which sometimes can be laced with fanservice.

Jikook is not fanservice. Most of their behind cameras are moments of them breaching the forth wall. Like JM walking into JK's room without noticing there were cameras in the room. Their mood in there was not a performance and wasn't intended for the cameras and yet they were still close. Them taking a picture at the back of the track was equally that- unintended for the cameras.

What I'm saying is, we have seen Jikook when they are working on camera and when they are not working on camera and that mood in that behind the scenes photoshoot video doesn't fit either description of Jikook in those settings to me regardless of whether I know them personally or not.

What that moment fits into for me is a pattern of behavior that has been consistent with Jikook over the years. And I know people box JM into this whole extrovert personality but as I've said I don't believe anyone is completely extroverted or introverted.

JM to me has a certain degree of introvertedness in him and I've talked about this. He seems to have a bit of an avoidant personality too where he recoils into himself or shut people out in certain moments like how he says he drinks alone and becomes much quieter when he feels stressed out.

He doesn't open up as much about his problems it seems, he bottles it all up untill it eats him up- I'm glad he says when gets like that JK notices his mood and often comes around to do something that makes him laugh. Jimin does same for JK when he is feeling anxious- Please, Jikook is real ok?

So stop telling lies. Lol.

I think this avoidant personality becomes more prominent in moments when he fights or argues with people.

In Manila it was that moment where he noticed JK staring at him and so be moved his seat back to avoid JK's gaze. In VMin dumpling fight, it was him going out to drink with Suga after the fight- classic avoidant behavior. In Yoonmin it was him asking Suga not to touch him when Suga put his hand on his back even though Suga was sat right next to him.

In 2017- was it the behind scenes photoshoot for the billiard pool games? We saw JM literally running away from JK. Lol. He literally side-eyed the fuck out of JK, yeeted himself away from JK the moment he finished posing for the cameras. In that OT7 footage where V was playing with JK's hair, again, he yeeted himself out of there real quick at the end of filming- dude literally said deuces bitches. Lol.

And in the Jin birthday VLive 2019, he pulled away instinctively when JK's knee touched his. In all these instances, JM was keeping up the facade. Smiling and interacting like his normal slytherin/ honorary hufflepuff self but his instinctual reactions is what gave him away. In my opinion.

To me that is a pattern of behavior on JM's part. When he is angry or mad st someone- he avoids them. And it's harder if he has to be within the same space with such person.... I'll circle back to this.

All the times since 2015 when he's been 'mad' at JK he's done just that- Akekeking with everyone else, amplifying his extrovertedness, latching on to his 'clutches' within the group, all the while keeping JK at bay while stealing glances at him to see his reaction at the same time.

And when he notices how that's affecting JK- he literally smirks in satisfaction. Meet evil chim everyone- And I say this with love, he is vindictive as fuck. I mean this is the same person who didnt hesitate to kill Army in a game just for disobeying him- allegedly. Same person who said he would whoop his bandmates except of course for JK and force them to bow at his feet if he was ruler. Did y'all see Tae turning to check JM's reaction when JK made fun of his singing in run? Did you see his passive aggressive reaction to JK after that clowning?

Listen, we all should be scared of Park Jimin. He is sweet and all but fuck with him... I dare you. PJMs are gonna revoke my PJM membership are they not? Oh God! Lol

JK is similar to JM in this regard. He avoids when he is angry or edgy. Try touching him in that state and he is pulling away. He did it with Tae in the Dynamite MV behind scenes where Tae tried to touch him and he pulled away and the whole not wanting to hold hands with Tae at the KBS interview thingy- it actually broke my heart watching that bit. JK. Sigh. Will post and delete the Taekook video I am talking about as soon as I post this- out of respect for their shippers.

JK does the same to JM too sometimes when JM irritates him. Manila and also around On promo when they had that Alex Almanto whatever unit shoot- they were all having fun, there's a cut and suddenly he is pulling away when JM holds him, does the lip thingy, and glares at JM. He turns away to look at Hobi, which I just think he was trying to hide his expression from the camera lol- JM almost burst out into laughter and I nearly peed myself watching that bit- JK can be very petty sometimes. Lmho

He did the same in this controversial photoshoot. He was mad at both JM and Namjoon which explains the part he was dragging his feet when he was walking away from JM. It wasn't because he was waiting for Jimin. He was avoiding Namjoon who was walking ahead of him. In my opinion. And the part he stood with Jin and RM- JM did something hilarious JK giggled a little but turned immediately to Namjoon and when he noticed RM laughing too he stopped laughing. Then he did that thing were he put the fear of God in RM when RM stood close to JM. JK was so angry he forgot his manners when he bumped into Jin in that moment and again, like always. He looked away to avoid the scenery.

Now I don't know what had gone on there but I'm still trying to reconstruct that moment to figure it out. All I know is something went on involving those three and may be Tae too as I have pointed out in previous posts.

JM was mad at JK, JK was mildly mad at JM but heavily mad at RM.

All these things I've mentioned are patterns of behavior that have repeated over the years from my delusional point of view of Jikook's interactions and of their interactions as against the group dynamics.

Circling back to the Be concept clip and JM's mood in there, I gotta ask. Do you think Jimin's mood was as a result of the stress of keeping their relationship a secret in that moment?

It wasn't to me. Even after looking away from JK he went back to looking at JK again. When their eyes met he smiled a little. Whatever was going on with him had nothing to do with JK or their relationship. If it did, he would have been much more hostile than that and frankly JK wouldn't be sat there cheesing the way he was doing in that instance. His butt would have been on fire.

JM seemed- serene and peaceful to me. I actually enjoy him most in his moments of quiet like these.

RM's reaction to that Jikook moment however is an indication of stress to me. He seemed excited, probably wanted to play with his Jiminie but when he noticed JM had looked away his instincts was to check JK's reaction. Not anybody else, JK.

When he noticed JK was smiling at JM he dropped his hands and seemed a bit deflated. That deflation right there is one of the signs of the stress I'm talking about.

RM isn't just the leader he is their friend. Like V his bond with JM suffers from time to time due to our elephant in the room. I am often fascinated by RM and JM's friendship dynamics and would definitely love to have conversation about their dynamics.

I hope this answers your question?

Please keep supporting Jikook. Jikool is real.

Signed,

GOLDY

#jikook #jikook analysis #kookmin analysis #jikooktheories #kookmintheories #jikook scenarios #Goldy #goldy blogs #goldy ananlysis #goldy theories #jikook fights #bts ships #jikook is real #jikook are in love #jikook ship

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arizona-trash-bag · 3 years

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I can totally explain a bit of my thinking behind seeing lwj as autistic and wwx as autistic/adhd!! Before I get into specifics though, let me preface with where I’m coming from. I first saw CQL and then read the EXR translation of the novel. I prefer MDZS to CQL, but also want to acknowledge that because I do not read/speak Mandarin I am inherently experiencing this story second-hand and therefore am probably missing out on a lot of nuances. I am trying to learn Mandarin, but it will be a long time before I am even a little close to fluent lol.

Another preface- obviously not all autistic people present in the same way, and many of the things that I will mention are not solely specific to autistic people either. It’s one of those things where all of it added up together points towards asd, but each one individually would not on its own indicate asd, you know? Also, I will say that many of the things I picked up on for both characters are autistic traits that many autistic people have vs the clinical characteristics (much like most of the case I could make for wwx’s adhd would be adhd traits he has rather than symptoms that would lead to a real-world diagnosis.) Edit: OH! I almost forgot to say, that also all of these traits I’m listing are from a western perspective, and I would LOVE to read more about how autism presents in different cultures and to see conversations between autistc Chinese people specifically, so as to see if these traits are specific to western autistic people or not, but again, I do not speak Mandarin or Cantonese or any other Chinese dialect, so that’s a little inaccessible for me atm.

Ok, SO, for both characters I would list: strong sense of justice, lack of care for society’s opinion (I feel like it could be argued that lwj does to a certain point, but imo he operates more from what he morally considers to be correct and from a place of familial duty vs catering to the opinion of society at large), and then more vaguely, they both seem to be “nerdy” (this doesnt feel like the most accurate term, especially because it's not like being scholarly is specific to their characters, especially in ancient fantasy China- it’s more that their particular hmmm, flavor?? of love of knowledge feels very neurodivergent to me, vs like, being scholarly because it’s the thing that is expected of a Young Master, if that makes any sense at all- like the difference btwn someone getting an engineering degree because it is expected of them vs because they genuinely love engineering), and lastly for both- I would say that they are canonically kinky, and while I can’t cite any statistics, there’s a pretty high correlation between being autistic and being into kink. Obviously, not every person who is not vanilla is autistic, and not every autistic person is into kink…….but there is a high correlation.

For lwj specifically, the things that made me think he might be autistic are his lack of outward emoting combined with his depth and breadth of emotions, how he seems to thrive in and quite enjoy the very structured environment he grew up in, and then the last one off the top of my head (side note, I feel like a week from now I’m going to randomly think of other examples lol) I’m not actually sure IS an example, because I know (thanks to the awesome post from hunxi that you linked to that I had read previously) that his succintness does not equal autism, but I do kind of feel like it is very autistic to Always be so formal and to Always talk in textbook perfect language.

For wwx, I also think he likely has CPTSD! I’m not going to list anything for adhd or cptsd since we both agree on those :) As far as being autistic goes, there is, of course, the high prevalence of adhd/asd comorbidity. For specifc traits- while autism can show up as lack of facial expressions/tone, it can also show up as being overly exuberant and overexpressive. Especially for younger autistic children this can show up as being overly friendly/no boundaries w/ strangers (just?? going home with a random man who says he knew wwx’s parents???), making unusual connections that others do not can be both asd and adhd, his disregard for social status (disregard might be a strong word, and also I feel like this might be one of those things that got lost in translation and if I had read the original text I might have a different opinon, but what I mean here is the way that often autistic people learn certain social rules and try their best to follow them, but often do not pick up on specifics related to social hierarchy that are not spelled out for them- I think jyl’s take down of jin zixun is a great example of the /oppossite/ of what I’m talking about, and is a very neurotypical interaction. An example also of what I mean by disregard for social hierarchy, but from my own life, is how I’ve reflected on past convos w/ my boss only to realize that what I thought was just an interesting conversation about our opinons on a particular subject was actually them trying to tell-me-as-my-boss something they wanted me to do. We ended up doing things the way I wanted to do them because I didn’t realize that they were telling me to do something because they didnt explicitly say so, and because I just don’t pick up on when people are saying something from a social hierarchy pov. Idk if this makes sense or not, so I’m happy to try to expand if you would like me to. I feel like wwx could be described as having alexithymia, which is very common in autistic people, but could also be due to his cptsd. And then, I don’t feel like this is a true point because it is kind of based on headcanon? but wwx feels very demisexual to me, which is much more common for autistic people than it is for allistic people. But him being demi is not canon, just my perception of him (I see him as demisexual gay w/ massive comphet, but I know lots of people see him as bi, which also totally makes sense!!)

Tbh, I’m having a harder time than I thought I would listing wwx specifics. I might go through the book sometime this weekend and see if there are specific moments that pop out at me, but tbh w/ him its more that he Feels very adhd/asd to me?? Idk, I was diagnosed w/ adhd when I was 8, and all 4 of my siblings plus my father have offical adhd diagnoses. I’m 29 now and was only diagnosed as autistic earlier this year. All of my close friends have always been either adhd, asd, or adhd/asd. There have been multiple people I have met that I’ve suspected were neurodivergent who have later told me they started looking into it and are now seeking formal diagnoses. I mention these things, only to give full context when I say that I have spent a lot of time observing the differences between interacting with neurotypicals and neurodivergents. I mean, obviously, it’s possible that I could just be projecting, but to me, Wwx gives off late-diagnosed/heavy masker autism/adhd combo vibes. Again, maybe I am projecting, but I did try to analyze whether I was or not previously, and determined that since in the past with other favorite characters (who I probably share more similarities in personality with) I did not feel like they were neurodivergent, so I figured that probably I wasn’t? That feels like a very convoluted sentence, but what I mean is that I have not thought that about other characters who have been my fav, so I figured that while I do project in certain areas that this particular area probably wasn’t one of them. Or, to say it in yet another way, since i did not project any of my neurodivergencies on past favorite characters, I figured I probably didn’t start doing so now.

I would love to hear more of your perspective on this, particularly because I worry that I do not have the cultural touchstones to realize when something wwx or lwj is doing is not actually a sign of being neurodivergent. I try my best to research things I don’t know about and to listen to fans who actually do have that cultural understanding, but there’s only so much I can look into on my own when I only speak/read english. And also, I love mdzs and I love talking about both adhd and autism, so I’m glad to talk about these subjects with someone else who also likes all of those topics :) Sorry for sending a book of a response and also I hope you are having a great day!!

wow wow wow anon THANK YOU for doing your research and acknowledging your blind spots you seriously made my day. I wanted to get to this as soon as I made that rant while sharing cyan’s post bc this is specifically an example of a well researched proposition based on actual lived experience and critical thinking.

I almost want to ask you to come forward so we can take this convo elsewhere for a more nuanced discussion bc you’ve already hit upon an issue that’s been holding me back from making a big blathering masterpost on the matter - that the ND experience is so unique and individual, and no one person can dictate someone else’s experience. at the end of the day, if you personally relate to these characters and gain more understanding of yourself and your experiences from them, who am I to take that away from you?

in a public space though I have to make the discussion very broad in order to accurately contextualize these issues, bc in typical autistic fashion I feel morally compelled to Do My Best and Get It Right even as the masses show no inclination of returning the favor, so apologies for the boring backstories I have to get out of the way before we can approach anything resembling new ground.

first from a diagnostic standpoint, while I recognize the traits you listed (and appreciate your clearly nuanced understanding of ND expressions) and would find value in exploring them in a personal context, they are not unique to adhd and/or autism and wouldn’t constitute a basis for diagnosis in a clinical setting. I know that's probably beside the point for this anon, but there's enough edgy teens hoarding labels out there without tacit encouragement from scientists (yes I am technically a scientist, even though my ideologies these days range from conventional to... wildly esoteric, shall we say)

from a cultural standpoint, it’s important for me to emphasize that the concept of neurodivergence is a uniquely western notion. for those unfamiliar, the term 'neurodiversity' was only coined in 1998. I was born in 1991. I existed for a whole 7 years as an autistic person before the idea of being neurodivergent was even a thing. this ND acceptance thing is very, very new - people were not making tiktok confessionals about their adhd diagnosis journeys when I was growing up.

china, like most asian countries, is about 20 years or more behind on just about every social issue compared with western countries. to better illustrate, the experience of being ND in china falls much closer to the conventional experience of disability (i.e. being eugenicized out of existence) than the tentative ND acceptance movement that’s been kickstarted in the past 20 years in the anglosphere.

safe to say, there is no ND coding going on in chinese media. characters are either explicitly ND or they're not. there's no basis for a creator subtly inducing ND-like traits in a character, because there's no such thing as ND awareness in the cultural context of where mdzs was written and consumed. any resemblance is purely accidental, as they say.

as to how this resemblance could exist - I could go into the layers and layers of historical, cultural, social and religious context that make up these characters and the xianxia genre as a whole. for this anon in particular i'm happy to, because they've done the work. please please get in touch in some way where we can have a fully fleshed out chat if you're interested in taking this further, I realize i’ve basically addressed none of the finer points you’ve raised but honestly it’s another level of discussion to be had that cannot be summarized in one blog post haha.

as for those who would scream 'but special interests!!' at a character whose sect was founded by a literal monk - what would be the point?

PS. to comprise a starting point for why it's possible to see ND4ND everywhere in media if you looked hard enough - I refer you to the seminal red oni blue oni trope 💁‍♀️

#neurodivergence #neurodiversity #actuallyautistic #autism #adhd #danmei #mo dao zu shi #the untamed #mdzs #lan wangji #wei wuxian

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ziracona · 3 years

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claud/jake/dwight anon here! maybe i’ll just go by wisteria since i’ll be popping up in your askbox from time to time :D

shippy hcs would be wonderful! i was referring to them as an established poly relationship post fic; i actually saw the comment where you were talking about how claudette can fit into different relationships and thought that was so fitting (and such a testament to the beauty of her character, but thats another long winded ask to send another day). once again, thanks for putting out ILM into this world. it’s a joy to read, reread, and treasure <3

Alrighty Wisteria!

Also I’m glad because I initially read it that way and was halfway to answering when I was like ‘wait,’ but my instincts were correct haha.

Claudette/Jake/Dwight is an interesting poly ship. It’s funny, because obviously both of them love her and she loves both of them. Just, I don’t think her priority has ever been having a romantic relationship, and neither has theirs. I also think it just kind of...wouldn’t occur to Dwight or Jake that that was a thing. Like, they know about polyamoury, they know it exists. But I feel like straight up there’d like, be an escape anniversary party or something, and she gives them both super heart felt gifts she clearly loved to make, and they’re both touched, give hugs, pass her their own sweetly made things, last little group hug, she’s like “Love you guys” and as she runs off to go give out other gifts to other loved ones, Jake’s super sincerely like “You too,” and Dwight’s like *looks at him, looks at her, smiles* “Yeah. Love you.” and she’s gone, and someone who they were chatting with before (probably Meg, Nea, or Ace) would joke something like “Why didn’t you two just also marry Claudette? You’d be such a happy trio” casually offhand, and they’d be like “Haha yeah! ... ... ... haha...yeah.... ? (O_O);” type thing that would have to happen, because otherwise they just like, wouldn’t think about it.

Once they did, though, I feel like it would definitely be the same event that clued them both in, so they’d both be like “Hmmm” at the same time, and pick up on that, and talk first, and be like “...Yeah, I mean. Maybe? But would she even be comfortable with that? Is it weird?” And Jake, who has the most secure identity in this area, would not really have any issue from the get-go and would mostly be like “Boy am I stupid for this never occurring to me once”. Dwight would need more time to think and talk stuff through and figure himself out, but is a lot more comfortable than he was. Claudette would be the last one. They’d both approach her at some point, and it would be incredibly awkward and kind of a disaster despite the fact they practiced and thought they had a gameplan, and she’s just like, “What? ...What?” and confused, and she’s a very worry-prone person, so she’d be like “Oh no, did I do something? Is this bad? Do they just feel bad for me? Since I’m not dating and they want me to feel included? Is this a bad idea? What do I even actually want?” and since she’s got the least experience dating, she’d take the longest to think things through. Would talk to Meg, and Quentin, and Philip, and her parents, and Ace. And they’d all help, but Meg would be the most help. Because Meg’s simple. She’d just say, “Well, do you want to be dating them both?” and Claudette would be like, “Well. I don’t know. I love them. And it might be nice to have a romantic relationship with someone I love someday. But I don’t know if this is how I want that, or if it would be good, because I have no idea what this would look or feel like,” and Meg would be like, “Well then why don’t you just like, go on a few dates/hangs like you’re dating, and see if it’s fun and good, or uncomfortable and bad, and if you three all feel like it fits and makes life even better, go for it, and if it turns out to be a mistake like that time Jake and I really thought we’d get some hella traction making out, then say ‘Well that was awful lol. Friends it is!’ and Susie and I will take all of you for drunk lazer-tag.”

And that works, because well, it’s more sensible than any amount of introspection without experience, or thinking, or worrying is. So they give it a go for like a week, and it’s awkward as hell for like the first fifteen minutes, but this is a trio of people who’ve known each other so long and been so fundamentally entrenched in each others’ lives for years, and love and trust each other so completely and deeply, it really can’t be that awkawrd, and everyone has prepped best they can, and kind of laugh at themselves, and just like, spend the day at theme park, and get food, and laugh and talk about life like always, but just this time with a kind of romantic shade, and it’s nice. And there’s a lot of days like that--not all so big, more just, at home, hanging out, doing whatever. And it is weird, because none of them has done this before, but. It’s also fun. And none of them have any weird kind of favoritism insecurities, because they were already pretty well and equally entrenched in each others’ lives before, and it’s fun. Jake is strategic because he’s kind of the planning mind behind this, and gets advice from Meg, and they marathon a lot of Leverage with only Jake knowing this is a sneaky ploy to help the other two get more comfortable, because there’s just not a ton of good filmic poly trio rep, but damn if that show hasn’t got a great one.

I think the trial period just kind of hits the end of it’s week and Jake and Dwight are like “So do you want to keep going?” and she’s like “...Yeah. : ) “ and so they do, and it’s like that for a while. They all move at their own paces, and in their own clearly discussed (and, as well as they know each other, usually already mostly known) comfort zones, and it’s fun, and nice. It also helps that everyone else is not just supportive and chill, but most of them are like, goofily into it.

They’ve been dating for like, four months before any of them explicitly calls it that officially. But it’s cute. Jake wants it to be official so he gets people anniversary gifts and then is kind of embarrassed but more pleased with himself, and it’s very cute and goes over well.

Everyone puts in work to figuring out how to keep this healthy and good, since none of them had a lot of preexisting knowledge for being with multiple people. They all do that their own way. Claudette spends hours and hours doing research online and checking for tips from people online, and really works hard to be a good girlfriend, and it’s very sweet. Meg and especially Quentin both have no real idea how to help her, but clock a lot of hours trying and doing pretty good. So secondarily do Nancy and Susie.

I’m pretty sure eventually they’d have another wedding, legally official or not--and not because any of them really feel a need to, but because they think it would be fun and Claudette should get to dress up too, and tbh it would be cute. I feel like Meg, Ace, and Susie are major factors pushing for this.

All of their parents think it’s a little weird, but their kids were missing for like 4 years getting tortured in hell, and they’re all reasonable people; they don’t say shit. Also, they all like all the other parties involved, so they’re like “Rat’s don’t understand these things” (this is a Muppet Christmas Carol inside joke I use all the time even though only like 4 people get it but I hope it makes some sense from context lol), but figure they don’t really have to to be happy their kids are happy and loved and doing well.

Meg is like “Fuck why didn’t we think of this. Why have I been supporting it when I could have nabbed her for me and Susie?” and Quentin doesn’t say shit but he thinks very loudly, “I know, right? Nancy and me are over here like ‘same hat’ fml,” but genuinely they’re very happy for the three of them and with the relationships they have. There’s just a lot of love to go around.

While there’s probably some kind a wedding eventually, definitely about as soon as they start dating, Jake and Dwight start calling her their wife. She’s flustered and like “But I’m note! I’m just your girlfriend.” and Dwight’s like “Yeah, but that makes it sound weirdly unbalanced,” and Jake who looked this up for this moment is like, “Well, by Quebec common law marriage standards, you actually are our wife--we cohabitated for over three years in the realm, so,” and Dwight’s like “whoa for real?” and she’s just like : o But it kinda helps and she accepts it. The downside is Nea hears the story and tells Meg and together they start just fuckin calling all their realm friends their spouses goofily 24/7 when they want shit like “David, my wonderful strong husband, can you pleeeeease get me a sodie from the fridge? : D <3″ and it’s very funny but it’s also pure chaos. Like, so much more than usual.

#Hope you enjoyed! My day was pure chaos so it took a while but here you go #Anonymous #ask #Wisteria #dead by daylight #in living memory #in living memory (fic)#ILM spoilers #ILM potential timeline author HCs

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chainofclovers · 4 years

Note

hey! so I recently re-read some of your DWP stuff. this time, just like always, I tried to pinpoint exactly what it is that I love about your work. I wasn't ever successful until today and I just thought it might be cool to share it with you. wtf a I talking about? here's a bit of context. when I engage with art my primary focus is on how it makes me feel. most times I what/why but some of your stuff I've read 12+ times and it's always FEELS but which ones??? (1/3)

anyway, today I read just a little bit of the first installment of the legible series and it finally hit me. (I hope this makes sense t b h. I've spent a DUMB amount of time on media analysis so I'm sort of programmed to express certain shit a certain way) so, your work has a sort of ephemirality that i generally associate with speech. not in the fleeting way but in the way that words sort of disappear once they are spoken but they can still leave traces of themselves behind. (2/3)

everytime I read your stuff it feels like how a great live performance or a super dope conversation feels. precious but fleeting because you know there's no way to hold onto it all. you may have guessed who this is by now. i just didn't want to look like a 🤡 if this is pure nonsense lol. plausible deniability ftw! (3/3)

Hi, Anon! I was gonna answer this privately but duh, I can’t (because you are anonymous). Thank you SO MUCH for these extremely kind asks. Sorry if I am being dense but I have no idea who you are. 😅 I mean, probably a tumblr mutual but I have no idea which! :D :D :D

It really means a lot to me that you would take the time to send me this feedback and that you have spent that much time with my writing in general! The DWP days were such a special fandom time for me (and I know the DWP days have very much continued, of course...what an amazing fandom!). It’s really cool to hear that my stories evoke that feeling of having a meaningful in-person experience like a performance or conversation. With those characters--especially Miranda--it was always really important to me to explore what it would be like for her to have those types of meaningful interactions...maybe for the first time ever, maybe for a the first time in a long while. When I think about successful people, I think some of them are people who close themselves off and pursue what they want with tunnel vision, and others are people who open themselves up to the world and give and take from it whatever they can. Miranda is definitely in that former category whereas Andy is in the latter, and I always thought of Miranda as this person who didn’t ever think it would be possible for her to give and receive generosity in a way that leaves her open to the world. And when it does happen, it feels precious and ephemeral and a little crazy. It sounds like the mood of that is coming through for you in the stories, for which I am extremely glad.

(Also, for the record, I would never think anyone saying such lovely and thoughtful things like you have could look like a clown for doing so! Take care and have a wonderful day. ❤️)

#anon #asks #writer things #devil wears prada #fandom things #Anonymous

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thefanficmonster · 4 years

Text

Forever With You

Sam Giddings (Until Dawn) x Emo!Reader (Female)

Warnings: Death, Mourning, Swearing, Slight Gore

Genre: Angst

Summary: Living with knowing that your life was basically given back to you from near-death thanks to the demise of a loved one is the closest feeling to death with your heart still beating. Sam now knows that. The whole group knows that. Good thing friends stick together even after death.

Requested by my lovely Until Dawn Anon. Hi babyy! I hope you enjoy the read and I sure as hell hope this isn’t the last request of yours I’ll be writing. We’re business partners at this point LOL. Love you ❤❤❤

QUICK NOTE - Some elements of this fic, by request of Until Dawn Anon, have been inspired by a certain drama series. I’m not gonna name it to avoid spoilers for both the show and this fic, but whoever’s watched the show will recognize which show is being referenced.

Sam’s POV

“You’d make a mean hunter!“ Chris comments as Y/N lowers the shotgun after shooting her mark for the fifth time.

“Nah, I’d never hurt animals.“ She gives him a sincere smile, “But I appreciate you thinking I have the proper skillset.“

We’re waiting for the world’s slowest cable car to make its way to our station, aka the lower station so we can meet up with the rest of our group, assuming that any of them are already there.

When I arrived at the station Chris, Ashley and Y/N were already there. They were sitting on the benches outside the station, waiting for me. I was actually supposed to take the same bus as them but something came up right as I was about to head to the bus station, forcing me to take the bus an hour after theirs.

“Sam, I will never forgive you for this, I swear!“ Y/N says, standing up from the bench and heading in my direction, “You let me thirdwheel alone! I mean, I could only survive watching these two beat around the bush for so long!“ She lowered her voice when she said that, giving the couple us two and Josh call Chrashley a quick glance over the shoulder.

I took her hands in mine almost instinctively, “Aw, I’m sorry. But look on the bright side: the love radiating off them is so strong it kept you warm as well!” It was true, her usually freezing hands were not so frozen. Still colder than a person’s should be, but not yet to the point of provoking concern.

She smirked, rolling her eyes, “You know I’d rather freeze to death than have love keep me warm.” She spat the word ‘love’ as though it was poisonously bitter in her mouth. Luckily, before I could say anything more, Chris dragged us to the makeshift shooting range he had found at the side of the snow covered clearing.

It didn’t take long for him and Y/N to start getting competitive with one another, like the not-blood-related siblings they are, so now Ash and I are observing their little competition of who can hit the most marks with the smallest amount of prep time. It’s obvious Y/N the one winning, but Chris isn’t the quitter type so while she is shooting even the smallest of pebbles in the snow we point out to her, he’s still aiming for the hanging sacks of sand and the glass bottles.

With the two of them being so immersed in their ‘competition’, Ashley and I are chatting while remaining a safe distance away from the shooting pair - Chris especially. Y/N has at least slight experience in the field. Being at the distance that we are, we are also out of earshot for them. So, both Ash and I bring up the obvious topic that never remains unspoken - RELATIONSHIPS.

“You and Y/N have been really close as of late. Finally making things official?“ Ash nudges the conversation first as she adjusts the beanie she’s wearing.

I sigh, a white cloud created from that breath of something between disappointment and dread, “We’re not even unofficial. We’re just friends.“ I take the opportunity to take a teasing stab at her, “I’m not luck enough to have my...“ I make quotation marks with my fingers, “’crush’ feel the same way about me. Unlike you.“ I smirk at her, noticing the color of red appearing on her cheeks despite the cold breeze that’s caressing every inch of exposed skin, making it worryingly pale.

“I wouldn’t be so sure, Sam. For both of those statements.“ She says diplomatically, scanning the shooting duo with a quick once-over. “She isn’t as reserved when she’s with you. I know you don’t notice, but everyone else does. She’s different, warmer even, with you.“ I expect her to go on, explaining her situation with Chris, but she doesn’t.

As much as I’d like to get her to go on and spill a little of what she feels about Chris, even though everyone and their grandmothers already know, I can’t help but let my mind go down the rabbit hole of ‘what if’s. I’m not oblivious nor blind, I can see the way her demeanor changes around me in comparison to, let’s say, when she’s around Mike. However, she’s ‘warmer’ with Josh, Chris, Matt and Ash as well. It’s called friendliness. It’s no secret that she’s never been too fond of Emily or Jess or Mike. The friendliness of a person can so easily be taken out of context when someone’s crushing on them.

And Y/N’s friendliness especially. This girl hates romance. Absolutely hates it. The word ‘love’ itself gets her annoyed and bothered to the point of discomfort sometimes. I have never tried to probe and try to figure out why. I say I haven’t cause I respect her privacy, but truth be told I am scared. I want to believe there is a small part of her that still wants to experience a romantic relationship, a love connection, and I’m afraid that prodding the subject would shatter all the hopes I have.

How did I end up falling for this dark, broody, Catwoman like emo girl? - I have no idea. It was only natural if you ask me. I think I’m not the only one who’s so whipped by her, but I could never be sure. I mean, how could someone NOT fall for this raven badass: black hair, eyes just a shade lighter than black, tattoos - perfect combination of beauty and brains. And balls, she’s probably the boldest person I’ve ever known or will ever meet. What really caught my attention when I first laid eyes on her was the way she shined. Literally. I don’t mean that as a cheesy metaphor - the girl is always covered in jewelry that reflects the sunlight perfectly. She mesmerized me from day one. She made me a big hypocrite - I was always the one to tell Chris and Ash to make a move, to confess their feelings, and now here I am, in their shoes as though they have cursed me.

“Hey, eagle eyes! Our ride’s here.“ Ash announces, handing Chris his backpack as they fall in step, walking side by side around the station.

Y/N falls in step with me, elbowing my ribs gently, “Slow down, let’s give them some privacy.” She slows her pace to a frustratingly slow walk and I oblige, “I don’t usually say things like this, but they are really cute.”

We’d be really cute

Wait, where did that thought come from?!

“Yeah, I know.“ I say through the fog of confusion that has taken over my brain. “They sure are.“ I clear my throat, trying to hide the fact that my own mind just shocked me. Damn, what is happening to me? What is this crush doing to me? It’s exhausting and terrifying but....I don’t want it to stop.

* * *

“It’s ok, baby. You’re ok.“ Y/N’s voice echoes in the eeriness of the mines.

How did this night make a swerve for the worst so suddenly. All of it, all the horrors just piled up so suddenly. We’re fearful of our own shadows at this point. We are terrified of each other as well. We’re all in a fragile and vulnerable state, with out sanity hanging by a thread. We are all slowly losing ourselves more and more, the events of the past few hours and the hours to come dragging us in the depth of this seemingly endless void of terror.

And then there’s Y/N. Mike, her and I have just found Josh who was having some sort of hallucination-riddled breakdown in the mines. While Mike and I stood aside, contemplating our next move, Y/N didn’t waste any time hesitating. She ran right to his aid and literally pulled him out of his horrific delusions, wrapping her arms around him tightly, murmuring words of comfort as he cried on her shoulder.

“I’m so sorry. For everything. I should’ve done something...I should’ve saved them.. I shouldn’t have done this to you guys.“ Josh’s sobs tear my heart to pieces. Seeing him like this is like watching a disaster happen right in front of me, but I’m incapable of doing anything to prevent it or aid help the people affected by it. I’m helpless, I can just stand aside and watch. Watch as he falls apart and Y/N desperately trying to keep him together as if she’s strong enough to carry such duty on her shoulders.

“It’ll all be over soon, it’ll all be ok. Hannah and Beth know it wasn’t your fault, Josh. We forgive you too. Please, don’t do this, at least not now.“ Just as she says those word, an inhuman screech comes from somewhere in the distance behind us, accompanied by another shortly after which came from right up-front.

Good thing we don’t have to head in either of those directions, not that we’re safe no matter which path we take. We’re walking through thigh deep water which could be hiding anything below the surface yet we wouldn’t know because it looks more like ink than water. We’re not the most discreet nor quiet as we move forward, taken that we are doing our best to push through with letting out as little curse words and sneers due to the inability to feel our lower body.

My foot hits something solid and rather sharp, most likely a large stone, causing me to let out a loud hiss before I could stop it. I freeze, listening on the noises surrounding us, expecting those screeches to emerge from behind the nearest wall and put an end to this torture we’re enduring.

I nearly jump out of my skin when a hand wraps around my wrist gently. My first instinct is to pull away, all my muscles tensing as I try to take a step back.

“Hey, hey relax. It’s ok.“ Y/N’s voice is unusually soft and sweet, just like when she was comforting Josh. It’s the voice she uses when aiding a hurt animal, or calming a weeping baby. “You’re ok, nothing bad will happen to us, ok Sam? We’re making it out of here.“ She’s carrying the mom role, the older sister role, the nurse role and the pillar we’re all leaning on for support. She’s keeping it together so we can too.

Her hand moves down to mine, unfolding my fingers that I’ve curled into a tight fist due to the uncomfortable sensation of being half frozen and half numb. He holds my hand open while quickly slipping off a ring from her pointer finger and putting it on mine. It has a small brightly blue rock on it. I recognize it right away - it’s the only ring she wears permanently. She changes all her other accessories, but never this ring. I can swear I’ve heard her joke that she’d like to be buried with it when the time comes.

“The lady that gave me this ring said it symbolizes the courage to carry on while carrying the world on your shoulders, and that really stuck with me.“ Her tone takes me to a different place, somewhere nice, safe and warm. Her words wrap around me like a safety blanket, for a moment letting me forget everything: the past few hours, the present and the yet to be determined future. “I have a feeling you need that courage more than I do.“

I nod but I’m physically unable to look up and meet her eyes. My gaze is fixated on her hands, which I’ve never felt so warm, holding mine as though it’s made of porcelain.

“If you keep going at this rate, all your jewelry will end up on me.“ I fish the necklace from underneath my hoodie, holding the charm so she can see it.

It’s a necklace she gave me right before she went on her first forest ranger training program. We weren’t sure if we’d see her again when we were at the train station saying goodbye. She said there was a chance of her staying at the camp to fully devote herself to what she wanted for her future. Thankfully though, she returned about four months later. I remember how hard I had to fight my tears that day. I should’ve know it would be useless - Y/N notices everything. That necklace, a beautiful blood red circular pendant hanging on a silver chain, was her saying ‘see you soon, hopefully’. I haven’t taken it off me since.

“I’ve already written it all to you in my will.“ She gives my hand a squeeze before letting go and continuing forward. After a brief return to the present reality I follow, making sure to always be an arm reach away at most from Y/N. Being within close proximity to her makes me feel like it will be alright. I mean, she said it would be, and she’s never wrong.

We enter an area where the water isn’t as still anymore. It rushes towards this small cliff where it creates a waterfall, pooling in the lower level in the form of a deep lake. The water is way higher there and the ground at the bottom is not reachable.

“Let’s try not to get pulled.“ Mike declares, his walk now more of a struggle just like everyone else’s “If we can reach that wall without dying we should be ok.“

We all nod, more as a way of reassuring ourselves than a response to his statement. We are less than fifteen feet away, I have a strong belief we can make it.

Ten feet away. We’re almost there.

And then we hear it - a deafening screech. It’s right next to me.

We turn to see that monster grab Y/N by her throat, throwing her into the water. Before we even have time to react, it’s too late. The thing has once again picked her up, holding her high above the surface of the water. She looks at me, her eyes screaming the way her vocal chords can’t. The fear has silenced her.

The wendigo’s other hand pierces through her chest, pulling her heart out.

She’s gone. She’s gone. She can’t be gone! WHY HER?! Why couldn’t it be me?! Why am I still drawing breath when she just let out her last one?! WHY DID IT GO FOR HER?! Is it because it knew that’s the quickest way to kill me?! TO KILL ALL OF US?!

The wendigo throws Y/N’s body over the cliff and into the deep lake below right before it climbs one of the stone walls and leaves our sight. It didn’t see any of us. We were too frozen to move even if we tried, of course it didn’t see us.

“We..- we gotta keep moving. Sam, come on. It’s over. She’s gone. We can’t help her.“ Each word shakier than the last, but still like sharp stabs right through my chest. Mike has taken hold of my arm and is leading me towards the wall we are supposed to climb to get out of here and back to the lodge.

* * *

I don’t remember climbing the damn thing. I don’t remember the way back to the lodge. I can faintly recall the pained cries of everyone in the basement when Mike told them what happened. All that time I couldn’t utter a single word. I couldn’t comprehend what had happened. It all happened so out of the blue and it was over so quickly, like it wasn’t the end of a human life. Like it didn’t matter and it wouldn’t have any lasting effects on anything that followed. As though her death wasn’t worth to be remembered.

It all sunk in only after I was out of that hell-hole lodge, the flames dancing in front of my eyes, surrounding the structure that within its walls held several of those monsters, one of which was the one that killed Y/N.

Y/N

Thinking of her got me to look down at the pendant of the necklace around my neck, the fire being reflected off its smooth red surface. Like a pool of blood in the middle of a forest caught by a wildfire.

See you soon, hopefully

I take one look at those woods, my heart sinking at the thought that behind those trees there’s an entrance to the mines. The mines that are now the resting place of the girl I loved. The girl that deserved better.

“Sam, they’re here. We’re safe. They’re saving us. It’s finally over.“ Mike’s words are nothing but a faint echo at the back of my conscience.

What’s on the front lines of my mind is that phrase - See you soon, hopefully. I’ll be seeing her soon. But not through death, she would never wish that upon me or anyone.

She’ll come back. She won’t let this be the end. She’s too stubborn.

“SAM!“ The screams fail to reach me completely as I run as though my life depends on it. My feet barely touch the ground, my instinct leading me to the nightmarish depths of this mountain.

I will not allow it to be your resting place, Y/N!

I jump from the top of the wall into the shallow water, letting the water drag my shaky form towards the cliff. With zero hesitation or doubt, no regard for the filthiness of the water or the horrors that may await me below its surface.

It’s pitch black. I can’t see or feel a thing. My body feels like it’s being stabbed by thousands of needles, causing it to go numb. I push my lungs to their limits, testing every cell of my body, begging them to not fail me.

The discourage starts settling in, accompanied by the pain that’s spreading throughout my chest due to the lack of oxygen. I’m just about to swim to the surface to breathe when I see it.

A glow. More of a reflection, actually. The reflection I was talking about earlier. The minimal light that’s pushing its way into the mines has made it to this depth and is being reflected by a metal ring connected to a pale hand.

Dizziness and pain all but forgotten, I push myself to swim lower, grasping the hand and giving it my all to pull it up. I only realize I’m above water when air enters my lungs in large gulps. It takes me a second to take in the fact that I’m holding the bloody, pale, unmoving body of Y/N with a hole through her chest.

“Please...“ I beg through gasps for breath, “Please open your eyes, live. Oh God, a wendigo or not just...just please come back to me, Y/N! Come back to take me with you!“

Despite my words of desperation, my screams of agony, I know they are in vain. I know she wouldn’t come back even if she could. She would rather stay dead than return as a threat to her friends with the risk of actually hurting them. She would never bring harm to her loved ones.

Images flash before my eyes: The hurt in her eyes when Josh’s scheme was revealed; Her comforting Ashley while Chris was out with the Flamethrower Guy; Talking Mike into putting the gun away and not shooting Em; Her standing up to Emily, grabbing her arm before she could hit Ash; Her comforting the disoriented and scared Josh we found in the mines; Her looking at me a second before her death.

There are two scenes that have been permanently engraved in my memory: Seeing her shining form for the first time and seeing her ink-like eyes, filled with terror for the last time.

* * *

We’re sitting in a room with bright neon lights and security cameras in each corner. I don’t remember how I got here. I don’t even remember leaving the mines. We were all given a change of clothes and a blanket. They offered us food and something to drink to refuel our bodies but after those horrors we saw, non of us are able to hold anything down. Josh was taken to a separate room the moment the helicopter landed and we haven’t seen him since.

I’m sitting on a bench next to Chris and Ashley, opposite Mike, Jess and Emily. Poor Jess has had it the roughest out of all of us. She has been drained of all emotion, her face isn’t even pale - more see-through. Mike’s arm is protectively wrapped around her shoulders, keeping her close. Matt and Emily are holding hands, unable to say anything to each other. Chris has Ashley tightly wrapped in his arms as though he’s prepared to protect her from anything.

And I’m alone.

I saw a black body bag being unloaded from the helicopter. I knew whose body it contained. No one dared say a word about it. We had run out of tears and words at that point.

I keep my head hanging low, my eyes fixated on the white tiled floor beneath my feet. The lights are too bright compared to my pitch black world. It’s all just empty and meaningless now. Looking back, I should’ve taken my own advice and spoken up about how I felt. Maybe it wouldn’t have changed much, maybe everything would’ve been different. And that’s the real torment - I will never know.

I straighten up, squinting at the artificial blinding lights, resting my back against the wall behind me. As I’m doing so, I catch a glimpse of something shiny in front of me.

My heart leaps.

It’s such an irrational reaction to something so simple. So ordinary to anyone else.

The shine is coming from the light reflecting off the chain Mike’s wearing around his neck. A familiar chain I’ve seen on someone else.

“That’s Y/N’s.“ I bark at him angrily, gaining his attention, “Why do you have it?!“

“Sam...“ Chris’ hand rests on my arm, “We all have something hers. She was sentimental, remember?“

‘Was‘. That change from ‘is‘ to ‘was‘ is killing me. And the ease with which everyone has accepted that Y/N is now a thing of the past.

“She gave me a bracelet.“ Ashley shows me her wrist

“She gave me this cool watch...“ Chris rolls up his sleeve, “I’m glad it survived all the crap it was put through with me. Not a scratch.“

“She’d haunt you if you scratched it.“ Matt smiles but his eyes are dull with sadness

“She’ll haunt us regardless.“ Emily says, “I hope she does.“

The rest of the crew shows the pieces Y/N left them of herself and it’s the most heartwarming while also heartbreaking feeling. The room has a different atmosphere all of a sudden. We are seven people, each with a soul of our own and a piece of Y/N’s.

As long as all the pieces are near each other, she’ll be alive and present. She’ll live on to watch over us and guide us. She’s probably looking down at us right now, relieved that we made it out. Overjoyed that Chris and Ashely are finally where they’re supposed to be - in each other’s arms. Glad Matt and Emily have found a stable middle ground. Proud of Jess for what she survived back there and happy she has found safety in Mike’s embrace. And what does she feel about me? As I said, I’ll never know, I can only hope she heard what I said to her back in the mines.

Assumptions aside, her message is crystal clear and leaves no room for speculations:

As long as we’re together, she’ll be with us. Forever.

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entamesubs · 4 years

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Yu-Gi-Oh! Sevens Episode 12 Sub Release

Hello, hello! First release of this brand new sub group.

Sub file only: click here! Video torrent (720p): https://nyaa.si/view/1274377

All subs are soft subs.

If there are any corrections you wish to make, please put them through the submit box! For questions, use the ask box, but please make sure to read the FAQ first.

Below are extended translation notes for this episode, so spoilers ahead.

------

とんだカッパの川流れ (tonda kappa no kawanagare)

“Even kappas can be washed away by the river.”

I touched on this briefly in the subs with a small TL note, but what Sushiko is trying to say here is that they were careless and only wanted to help, but ended up contributing to Yuuga & co’s plight. She has a tendency to speak in weird sentences or puns (as evidenced by another TL note later in the episode).

お前の後ろだ (omaeno ushiro da)

We had a whole episode on this that I think explained a lot of it, but I want to say that he’s basically trying to tell Kaizo that his name is “Omaeno Ushiro”, but unfortunately it really just sounds like “behind you!”.

偉大なる俺様のターン (idainaru ore-sama no taan)

I translated this as “It’s the Great Me’s turn.”

I wanted to highlight just how highly Roa was referring to himself. If it was just a simple ore-sama that I think a lot of us who watch anime are familiar with, I don’t think I would have added the extra ham in the translation. However, Roa is using a sort of adjective here to directly mean “the Great”, and that’s 偉大なる (idainaru).

To give some context, 偉大なる is what you would use to refer to people like Frederick the Great, or Alexander the Great. I don’t think I would have done Roa justice if I left it at just “it’s my turn” or some variation thereof. He’s really full of himself!

神々しい (kougoushii)

Another word that Roa uses to refer to himself. The simple definition would be “godlike” or “divine”.

In my first draft, I translated his “divine draw” as “godlike draw” in order to follow the same translation I used when Roa says “I... can charm everyone... with my godlike qualities”, but it sounded a little too weird. Just know that both in that line and the “divine draw”, he’s using the same word.

“Would having it really make you feel more ‘majestic’?” (Original translation has been changed, thanks to corrections from Anons!)

This was a weird sentence to try and parse for me. Yuuga is basically asking if that’s really all Roa wants (like “do your ambitions only stretch this far?” kind of feeling).

The exact Japanese is 「そんなものが君の威厳なの？」(sonna mono ga kimi no igen na no?)

Translated literally, it could be “Is that really your dignity?” 威厳 means something like majesty or dignity. “Is that it?” would have been another way to translate this, but considering Mimi’s “adultlike” comment afterward, I chose to use some more big words to give off the same feeling that Yuuga was.

Safe to say Yuuga was not at all impressed!

Hero of the Dawn - Lydacross

I actually heard this as “Rider Cross” and it is still the name I used in my raw drafts of this episode. Thankfully I found the brain cell to go on the wiki and found it already translated as “Lydacross”, which makes more sense.

You may notice that I decided to go with “Hero of the Dawn” as opposed to “Brave of the Dawn”. This was just my own personal preference.

But even without summoning Sevens Road Magician, he can still kick his ass!

This is very obviously not really what Luke says.

The original Japanese is 「だがセブンスロードを出さなくてもこれなら存分に暴れられるぜ！」

I highlighted the part that I actually paraphrased. Luke actually says “even without [his ace], he can still rampage freely”. I translated this literally in my first draft, but felt as though it didn’t have enough impact. Part of translating is making sure your audience actually understands the words you’re trying to put out.

So in the final version, I changed it to something more colloquial that any English-speaker would recognize in the same tone.

そのときに手巻されたんですね — He rolled his own road.

God I really hate sushi girl.

She’s making a pun here with 手巻する (temaki suru). You may recognize this as a style of hand rolled sushi, which is exactly what she’s referring to. 手巻する can also mean “to handmake” or something to that effect.

Basically, she’s trying to say “he forged his own road after all” or something akin to it. She’s just going about it in a roundabout way and referring to sushi because why wouldn’t she.

I translated it as “he rolled his own road” as an attempt to mimic the pun.

It’s a beatstick style!

Some TCG slang. “Beatstick” refers to monsters with high ATK. A “beatstick style” would be to try and get out high ATK monsters to “beat” your opponent down. A kind of brute force strategy popular in the old days, before the hand traps came into my house and killed my family.

Yuuga isn’t someone who would cheat even if hell froze over!

Luke actually says something more akin to “even if the galaxy turned upside down”, but I felt like “even if hell froze over” conveyed what he meant better for an English-speaking audience.

Goha Duels vs Rush Duels

A minor note, but by “Goha duels” they mean master duels (5 monster zones, 5 spell/trap zones, normal rules, etc).

Nick vs Nikku

Obviously Nick/Nikku is a pun name on the word for “meat” (肉, niku). The reason I decided to translate his name as “Nick” and not “Nikku” was mainly because he just looks too American to have a name like “Nikku” LOL

Luke vs Rook

And finally, the big one.

I tossed around Rook vs Luke in my head for a long time, and while I know the previous subbers who did episodes 1-11 romanized it as “Rook” (mainly because his entire name is a shogi reference), I much prefer Luke due to it actually being a name. It is also what Konami uses officially.

That’s really all there is to it.

#yugioh sevens #yugioh #ygo sevens #sevens #sevens spoilers #e012 #entamesubs release

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thecoleopterawithana · 5 years

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Omfg thank you for your precious answer you're my favorite tumblr !! I have so many things I'd like to ask you bc you explain so well lol, first of all what do you think of the story of Tony Manero ? Do you think he tells the truth with his story ? Again thank you for your answer love youuuu

Hey again, dear anon! (I’m assuming you’re the one from before) Thank you so much for your kind words! I’m truly happy you're enjoying the blog, and that it is engaging enough to make you want to ask questions. I’m more than happy to try my best at answering them because I learn a lot in the research for these posts too!

For context, Tony Manero was a Brooklyn singer/dancer (who claims to be the inspiration for the main character in 1977′s Saturday Night Fever, though no movie-related source mentions it).

He comes up frequently in Beatles’ fandom circles as a “key witness” in the ongoing case of John Lennon’s sexuality. His testimony appears in Geoffrey Giuliano’s Glass Onion (1999), where he is interviewed on his encounter with John Lennon on the streets of New York City, on May 1974:

TONY MANERO*

Interview

New York, Summer 1992

Question: Tell me your story about meeting John Lennon.

Tony Manero: It was back in May of 1974. I saw three guys walking down the block. John was always my idol. I went up to him and said, "I know a lot of people hassle you, but I just want to thank you for your music. I've enjoyed you and you've helped me through a lot of emotional times." Outside Jimmy's Bar in Greenwich Village he said, "Why don't you come inside for a drink?"

Question: Who else was with him?

Tony: Harry Nilsson was also there. After we ordered drinks, John switched seats to be next to me. He said to me, "Are you gay?" When I told him I wasn't, he looked really disappointed. He could have been joking, but he wasn't. My initial reaction was fear. And yet I wouldn't leave because it was John Lennon. I said to him, "No, man. I don't go that way." "Are you sure?" he said, "Look, I'll take you to Hollywood." John was calling me "the pretty one." He told me, "You're the prettiest chick I've seen all day." He said, "You look like a pretty little Indian or Arab chick," because of my color skin. I remember Harry was borrowing one hundred bills from him.

Question: Then what happened?

Tony: At one stage I went out, and when I came back he was talking to this woman and he said "She said, 'I thought he was Paul, meaning McCartney.'" So John turns around and says, "No, he's prettier than Pauly. He's got a nicer mouth than Pauly. Pauly's got a small mouth." Then he turned to me and said, "Let's go get some chicks." This man was giving me a dream to pay millions for. I hung out with him. John almost admitted his gay tendencies. He put his arm around me. He said, "It feels good to hold someone. You know what I mean?" Prior to that he said, "There's nothing wrong with being gay. Two people exchanging feelings is not wrong. Did you ever try it?" People were following us. We were wasted and he put his arm around one girl and said "Suck my cock." He stuck his tongue down her throat. We were loaded. Somebody stole the hat right off his head! He was so nice. I remember we had a hamburger. Later we went to his hotel rooms, 1608, -9, and -10. There was Harry's bedroom, John's, and a living room with a keyboard. He gave me a guitar, but it was later stolen. He propositioned me in the street. Hassled me if I'd ever made love to a male. "Will you give me head, man?" he asked. But I wouldn't do it. "Come on, Tony, why won't you give me head?" We went back to his hotel and he propositioned me again. After John died I wished I'd done it. He tried to kiss me. He put his arm around me. He was making moves on me like a guy would make on a woman. We were on the couch and we lay down. I said, "Wow, maybe I should have." I never asked him if he'd had sex with a man, but it was obvious to me he had. I was at the hotel for a few days. But he never bothered me in the middle of the night. He never attempted it again. There were feelings and looks. He was very loving, like when a guy is very lonely. The man was bisexual - there is no two ways about it. He was feeling me out.

Question: What do you say to people who might not believe your story?

Tony: John did come on to me. He did try to make love to me. He asked me to perform a lewd act - that's the truth. The man was bisexual - there's no two ways about it. Any of his fans who can't dig that, I'm sorry, because if you listen to his music, sensitivity and experiencing is what it's all about.*Tony Manero was the inspiration behind the seventies film Saturday Night Fever and a successful New York businessman.

— in Geoffrey Giuliano’s Glass Onion: The Beatles In Their Own Words (1999), part Seven: Friends (pages 315-317).

Concerning Manero’s recollections, some familiar elements pop up.

There is "It feels good to hold someone. You know what I mean?" which seems to echo Paul’s recollections of his last hug with John, where the latter commented, “It’s good to touch.” It is a classical example of John craving physical affection.

"There's nothing wrong with being gay. Two people exchanging feelings is not wrong. Did you ever try it?" reminded me immediately of the poem John submitted for Len Richmond and Gary Noguera's Gay Liberation Handbook, on 30 May 1972.

Why make it sad to be gay?

Doing your thing is O.K.

Our bodies our own

So leave us alone

Go play with yourself - today.

Also, there are his comparisons to Paul, "No, he's prettier than Pauly. He's got a nicer mouth than Pauly. Pauly's got a small mouth."

First, there’s the use of the adjective pretty, which he’s used for Paul before:

I remember we were going down to the studio [...] and there was a great crowd pressing against the car. John was sitting in the back and he said, “Push Paul out first. He’s the prettiest.”

—Victor Spinetti, in the documentary You Can’t Do That! The Making of ‘A Hard Day’s Night’ (1995).

Also, there’s “that Paulie business” (note that’s it’s Paulie, not Pauly; and John will object if you use it, especially in a condescending way!).

Moreover, to me, the whole exchange strikes the same tongue-in-cheek tone as this late 1975 interview:

John: Yes, all your best friends let you know what's going on. I was trying to put it 'round that I was gay, you know-- I thought that would throw them off... dancing at all the gay clubs in Los Angeles, flirting with the boys... but it never got off the ground.

Q: I think I've only heard that lately about Paul.

John: Oh, I've had him, he's no good. [Laughter]

— John Lennon, interviewed by Lisa Robinson for Hit Parader: A conversation with John Lennon (December 1975).

John had already insinuated his relationship with Paul in a similar way in this humorous self-interview:

Q. Have you ever fucked a guy?

A. Not yet, I thought I’d save it til I was 40, life begins at 40 you know, tho I never noticed it.

Q. It is trendy to be bisexual and you’re usually ‘keeping up with the Jones’, haven’t you ever… there was talk about you and PAUL…

A. Oh, I thought it was about me and Brian Epstein… anyway, I’m saving all the juice for my own version of THE REAL FAB FOUR BEATLES STORY etc.. etc..

Q. It seems like you’re saving quite a lot for when you’re 40...

A. Yes, there might be nothing better to do, tho I don’t believe it.

— John Lennon, interview conducted by/on John Lennon, and/or Dr Winston O’boogie, for Andy Warhol’s Interview Magazine (November 1974).

I introduce all of this because if there’s one thing I at first found odd in Manero’s account, it was John’s forwardness. John doesn’t strike me as a guy to openly proposition another man. Was he really just super keen on it? Was he getting liquid courage from all the substances? Was he trying to get those rumours off the ground? A mix of all three?

But perhaps it’s wrong to look at 1974 as just a normal year.

Lennon’s Lost Weekend was the time of his life where we can see him be the most publicly vocal about his curiosity. He was open about being open.

And striking friendships with gay musicians like Elton John probably gave him someone who he could talk to, or at least explore the world of gay bars with. Whatever gets you through the night, it’s alright, after all.

One of those “dancing at all the gay clubs” episodes has been recounted by musician and music producer Mark Hudson. In a “weird but beautiful” moment, John urged the group to join him on the dancefloor, when The Three Degrees’ ‘When Will I See You Again’ came playing through the speakers and he exclaimed, “I love this song!”

Because it’s always informative to pay close attention to the songs that were resonating with them at any particular time, I’ll provide the lyrics to ‘When Will I See You Again’ (released in the US on September 1974):

Precious moments

When will I see you again

When will we share precious moments

Will I have to wait forever

Will I have to suffer

And cry the whole night through?

When will I see you again

When will our hearts beat together?

Are we in love or just friends?

Is this my beginning

Or is this the end?

When will I see you again?

May Pang reports in her book, Loving John (1983), that after she and John left LA to go back to NY — where, after some time at The Pierre hotel, they moved to small penthouse apartment on East Fifty-second Street, around July 1974 — the McCartney’s had paid them a visit.

John would spend the next two months recording Walls And Bridges, before releasing it on 26 September 1974. It included tracks such as the aforementioned ‘Whatever Gets You Through The Night’, ‘#9 Dream’ and also the beautiful ‘Bless You’:

Bless you wherever you are

Windswept child on a shootin' star

Restless spirits depart

Still we're deep in each other's hearts

Some people say it's over

Now that we spread our wings

But we know better, darlin'

The hollow ringIs only last year's echo, oh-oh

Bless you whoever you are

Holding her now, be warm and kind-hearted

And remember though love is strange

Now and forever our love will remain

As a song, I think it's the best piece of work on the album, although I worked harder on some of the other tracks. In retrospect, that seems to be the best track, to me.

— John Lennon, interviewed after the release of the album, cited in John Blaney’s John Lennon: Listen to This Book (2005).

(I’m sorry, I got sidetracked by their love for one another...)

But getting back to Manero’s story, you asked me if I think it is the truth or not. And honestly, there’s really no way to be completely certain of the veracity of these accounts. Having said that, I don’t really see this story as the scandalous, explosive news it is often made out to be. Not because I think it might be untrue, necessarily, but because I personally feel like John’s interests in homosexuality come through in his own words, as we’ve seen in the previous post.

For me, it seems clear that there was an attraction there. Now, an even more interesting question, I feel, is how much of that attraction was about the physicality of the male body; how much was about the contact with one’s softer, more sensitive side, not allowed in the classic moulds of toxic masculinity; and how much of it was seeking sexual contact as a way to epitomize emotional intimacy?

And with the complexity of human beings, it is fair and likely that there were little bits of all three elements involved. But perhaps, it’s best to continue that line of thought in another post...

But what do you guys think? I'd really like to hear your thoughts on the subject!

#John Lennon #paul mccartney #Elton John #the beatles #asks me why #I'm not a homosexual or we could have had a homosexual relationship #the lost weekend #Whatever gets you thru the night it's alright #the person I actually picked as my partner #johnny #macca #for you were in my song #Bless You #3rd verse #1974 #meta #my stuff

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mistymark · 5 years

Text

the one with the annotations.

dong sicheng x reader // 3.7k words // masterlist // send requests here

summary; in which sicheng keeps writing in the books at the library and it should be obvious but that’s,,, not,,, allowed???

warnings: none its just fluff, theres some humour if u like,, squint

requested; yes :D - “Enemies to lovers 👀 with sicheng? Love your writing btw 💕” from anon

notes; based on this prompt: ”You’ve got to stop returning books full of corrections and spiteful comments in red pen bc I can’t stop reading them and my boss gives me disapproving glares when I laugh at the funny ones

ohhhhh boi

so while you were at uni you had a part time job at the library

because surprise surprise as a lit major you like books

shocker there

you always tried to work the late shifts, closing up and doing the returns

just because it was easy and relaxing organising and restacking the books

but soon you wished you took the earlier shifts

because of dong sicheng

not to be dramatic but

your long rival

he started coming to the library to borrow books

because that’s kind of the point of a library

but he ended up liking the environment for studying

and would stay there for hours just to study

and you’d admire his hardworking nature

if he left on time, that is

you would do the rounds ten minutes before closing

just to tell everyone like

‘hey, we’ll be closing in around ten minutes if you want to begin packing up’

but this bitch

would nEVER PACK UP ON TIME

you’d end up standing at his table with your bag and the keys in your hand

tapping on the wood to try and get his attention

and him slowly packing up afterwards

even tho he kNOWS you want to go home

‘you’re just as slow as you were in kindergarten hey?’

and he’d be so furious

‘you know you cheated’

‘I don’t remember any such thing’

and maybe you did maybe you didn’t

you were like four years old

as if you’d remember a race you won when you were that age

he just rolls his eyes and leaves as you lock the doors

you leave in the other direction

happily leaving him behind

but he stops by every Monday Tuesday and Thursday night to study

which are the days you work as well

he acts like it’s just part of his schedule

but he worked out if he came in on Wednesday’s he didn’t have the opportunity to annoy you

and honestly?

annoying you at the end of your shift and after a long session of studying was the highlight of his night

but he keeps borrowing books

and you’re like

whatever

until he borrows this new book you’ve been wanting to read for ages

and you were low-key so bitter

this lil bitch has no way of knowing you wanted that book but somehow he does and that’s the only reason he’s borrowed it

even though,, he literally had no idea lmao

tbh u probably would have wanted to talk to him about the books he reads bc u have very similar taste

okay the same taste

but he’s such an asshole ur like nah fam

anyways he returns it after a week

boy reads fast ok

and when he goes to drop it in the returns box

you just take it from his hand and scan it under your name straight away

and put it under the desk so no one else can borrow it

and when there’s a lull in the work at the library

you reach under the table for the book and rifle through it

and you notice a few pencil marks

and upon further inspection you realise they’re comments referencing certain parts of the book

and you do nOT stand for vandalism

but some of them are fuckin hilarious not gonna lie

on the page you just happened to open

you can see there’s a comment beside a passage of text depicting a fight scene

‘this would kill someone wtf’

and u laugh and wonder who had done this

like the book had only been out for a little while

and u finish it in just less than a week

bc u read a lot during your shifts

probably a lot more than you should tbh

and seriously the comments made the book better

you hadn’t laughed so hard at random commentary so much

like the words were exactly what you were thinking

you couldnt help it

while ur putting some of the books back in the middle of your shift

!!!! you see another book that u might like !!!

not to judge a book by its cover butttttttt

it looks like ur type oop-

and after flipping through it

to get an idea of font size and chapter length cause ur a whole nerd like that

u see it ALSO has pencil markings

in the borders and underlining sentences

and without even thinking u borrow it

just to read the funny comments again

and ur boss comes up to you during your shift and is like

‘have you seen someone’s been writing in the books? look at this’

and thrusts a book in ur face

and ur like ??????? okay chill I’ll look

and u read the writing she’s pointing at

the familiar loopy handwriting adorning the page

and it says ‘I hope she throws her drink in his face’

when u read the paragraph for context

u realise it’s a confession scene

a few lines down the mystery person has written ‘called it.’

and u can’t help but laugh

like come on that was funny

but ur boss doesn’t agree

she just asks you to find out who’s doing it so they can be suspended from the library

or charged with vandalism

or something

she wants vengeance

u roll ur eyes and go to one of the staff computers

scrolling through the lists of borrowers for that specific book

and it’s a fuckin library that book has been borrowed a loT

2031 times ???????????????

you almost fall of your chair tbh

then someone clears their throat in front of u

and u immediately apologise as u try and get the right tab up to process the borrower’s book

but once u look at the person in front of u

you wish you hadn’t been so nice

sicheng stands in front of you

a grin on his face as he hands you another book

smug bitch is so happy he startled u

‘looking at porn on the library computer, yn?’

u laugh

‘I’m not u in 8th grade’

he glares at you as he takes his book and goes back to his desk to continue studying

u were soooo hoping he’d leave

even tho u kinda enjoyed looking at him

like dude was hot okay

what were u supposed to do????

ur actual job????

please.

so he stays

and when it’s ten minutes til closing

u go and let everyone know

and u stop at sichengs table

and he’s writing out notes or something

idk it’s not like u care anyway lol

but he’s lowkey frustrated bc he keeps messing up this one goddamn formula

so he erases it

and that’s when u catch a glimpse of his handwriting

and bruh am I high or is that the exact same handwriting as in the books

I mean he has borrowed a few of the books

and he’s into that genre

not that you've checked out his borrowed list or anything

basically ur having this whole conversation with yourself in your head

bc ur cool like that

and he’s like ????? why this bitch standing over my shoulder and watching me write out this equation

until he’s like ‘what are u doing’

and ur like !!!!! oh hi !!! sorry I was busy listening to the voices in my head lmao xD

jk jk

‘have u been writing in the books’

and suddenly he’s super shy

and he has this massive grin

and he’s like ‘no’

bitch we know it was u stfu

u roll ur eyes and ur like ‘its not funny my boss wants you to be suspended’

he squints at you

‘how do you even know it was me’

and then:

‘DO YOU HAVE E V I D E N C E’

and u cross your arms

like a badass bitch

and ur like ‘I have plenty of evidence actually’

‘for one, youve borrowed all the books that have been found with writing’

‘and your handwriting matches’

subconsciously he covers his notebook with his arm to hide his handwriting

and he's like ‘why are u telling me this’

you're taken aback by the question tbh

like ?????? to be a good person ??????

idk u fuckwit just wanted to warn you

‘thought you'd want to know’

and he just turns back to his book

and you shrug and walk away like ok get suspended then see if I care

but u do :((

but as you walk away hes like

‘wait’

‘Im gonna be suspended??’

and u nod like ye that's what I just said but ok

‘like I cant borrow or I cant come in at all?’

u don't know tbh

‘both I think?’

and suddenly there's panic in his eyes

another person walks past u and thanks u

and u mindlessly tell them to have a good night as they leave

everyone has left

except sicheng of course

that beautiful son of a-

wait why did u say beautiful

‘what can I do to nOT get suspended??’

and u shrug bc idk dude not my problem

but then u think about it

‘I mean if u get rid of the evidence theres no way u can be suspended, right?’

and he seems so happy at the thought

‘would you help me? please?’

and ur sooooooo skeptical

‘depends. what do u want to me to do?’

‘I mean I need access to the books so’

‘yeah ill let u in and out’

‘I can't exactly just erase the markings when people could be watching’

and that's exactly how you end up sitting in the library with dong sicheng at 11pm at night rifling through books to find odd pencil markings to erase

it wasnt that hard

u just got his record up

*snorts* ‘you borrowed ‘how to talk to girls’ when we were thirteen’

and he just rolled his eyes and marched to the computer like ‘you can see my record I deserve to see yours’

and ur like NOOOOOO nononononono

but later

‘you've read all the light-fighter novels??’

he looks at you from where hes searching for one of the books on the list, an eyebrow raised

‘yeah why’

‘dude,, I loved those books’

and he smiles a little

‘thats where I started marking the books tbh, every time I read it id add a little cross in the corner of the cover bc I read it so often’

part of u is a little impressed

the other is annoyed at how similar your taste in books is

but the first part keeps asking why u hate him so much

other than the staying late and the snarky comments

which you actually find kinda funny-

anyways

once you've gathered up a few of the books

like at least ten each

you sit on the floor of the childrens section

beanbags sprawled out beneath you as u read through some of the books

most of them you've read before

and every time you giggle at something hes written his smile gets a little bigger

but of course youre looking at the book so you dont notice

and he keeps his head down

‘is it bad that im hungry’

you lift your head from the book to look at sicheng

hes not even reading anymore hes just lounging back on the beanbags

and maybe he'd been watching u read

watching as the smile on your face grew wider at his commentary

‘I didnt see you leave tonight. have u eaten?’

you furrow your brows in thought, trying to recall having seen him leave

‘you been watching me, y/n?’

‘have you been eating, sicheng?’

and there's something about the way you say his name that makes his heart jump

his voice is soft as he looks at you in the dark

‘no’

you focus back on the book in front of you

‘finish whatever book youre on and we’ll call it a night’

‘what, you wanna go eat?’

you cant tell if hes just surprised or if hes hopeful

or something else

‘no but I do want to sleep’

you laugh and he forces a laugh too

you dont notice the difference

when you've returned all the books

he meets you at the front door as you grab the book you'd been reading that shift

hes just standing by the door on his phone

and maybe its bc ur tired or maybe its just him

but u cant help thinking

Jesus Christ this boy is attractive

and okay maybe u had a crush on him a few years ago

but hey! you were eleven what could u do

the crush still lasted like two years tho lmao

but u shoulder your bag and open the door for him

making sure to lock it carefully

and he walks with you in the direction of your apartment

and ur like oh u live this way too?

and hes like nah

but what kind of boy would he be if he didnt accompany home

like christ y/n u could be h u r t out here at this time of night

but you just smile at him bc wow thats ??? actually ??? kinda sweet

‘who are u and what have u done with dong sicheng’

and there goes his heart again

he just nudges u with his elbow

and u laugh at him and continue on ur way

when u get to ur building he thanks u for ur help in the most polite way possible

and u can kind of see that hes actually rlly nice ??? how ???

but hes back at the library the next day

and of course he comes up to the counter as soon as he spots you

sneaking around a few desks so u dont hear him come up behind you to whisper ‘BOO!’ in your ear

you jump like three feet in the air and spin around to tell him to get out from behind the desk

‘I dont see a nametag on u that means u have to be on THAT side of the desk thank u very much’

‘didnt realise your name tag said bitch on it geeeez y/n ://’

and u just fix him with a glare once hes finally on the right side

‘are u borrowing a book or not’

‘nuP’

he leans on the desk

his eyes staring straight into yours

‘just wanted to ask if u were able to stay back tonight’

you roll ur eyes

you'd barely gotten any sleep last night

but the look of concern on his face when he realises youre hesitating makes you nod

‘of course,, wouldnt want my least favourite person to get kicked out’

‘I always knew you had a soft spot for me’

you roll ur eyes aGAiN

‘go bother someone else’

‘oh is the hot librarian in?’

you push him away from the desk

but he doesnt miss the faint smile on ur lips

‘sicheng dont make me give you $100 in overdue book fees’

he sticks his hands up at the threat, his eyes wide

‘no. please. ill do anything’

when u raise an eyebrow at him, he just grabs the book you'd been reading (and not yet borrowed) and walks away

and he winks too

u have to stop your heart from beating out of its chest

and later

its 8pm and the library is officially closing

and for the past three hours you'd been walking to sicheng’s desk and subtly been trying to steal your book back

but every single time hes seen you coming

and pulled the book under the desk or into his lap

away from your grabbing hands

every. single. time.

you tap your foot impatiently at him when its time to continue ur undercover project

and he smiles down at his notebook when he hears u huff in annoyance at him

he dramatically looks up at you

‘do you need something?!’

‘do you want to get suspended?!’

he narrows his eyes at you but stands up anyway

he carefully puts his things in his bag and takes the list of books from your hands

a few of them are already crossed out as having been checked and erased

but theres still a lot to go

it takes you almost three weeks to finally get to the last day

and it had been the same thing every time;

sicheng took forever to pack up

you'd eventually find about ten books each

sit in the children’s section

laugh and chat about your lives while you went through the books

tease each other

and when you'd finished,

he'd walk you home

every single time

without fail

it became a habit that on the Tuesdays he'd stop by on his way to his morning class to drop coffee off for you

because he'd kept you up the night before

and it became easy to lose track of time with sicheng

he was just so engaging

there was no part of you that felt bored or uncomfortable with him

yeah he was annoying and infuriating

but his good book taste made up for it

and his annotations in the margins of the books too

‘is this the last of them?’

he squints down at the page again, counting the books on the table again

its the third time hes counted

‘surely ive read more than this’

‘not from this library ://’

you blow your hair out from your face and look down at the pile

‘you know, I think my manager is starting to get really suspicious of me’

‘why’ he looks up briefly from his book to read your face

but you try and remain calm

‘well she only told me about the markings right. and now theyre disappearing’

he looks at you like ?????

‘well she knows ive been closing up late... I think she thinks I did it’

he laughs ‘you? has she met you?’

you pout and throw a pillow at him

‘HEY! what's that supposed to mean :((’

‘it means ive never met someone who's so protective over books as you’

you think about it, chewing ur bottom lip

‘lets just finish this’

‘do u want to get food after’

he surprises you with the sudden question

and the slight nervousness thats evident on his face really makes you want to say yes

but you have a class tomorrow

and you always try and finish up here earlier on a Thursday night

‘cant :((’

he nods and goes back to readng

theres silence for a while

but you find it comfortable

sicheng on the other hand, feels as though hes just been shot down

you just turned down his date

you've kinda noticed hes more reserved now

quiet

but rlly hes just kind of embarrassed

until u say something that gives him hope

‘I,, uh, I dont have plans tomorrow night’

and ngl boy is stunned

‘just if u wanted to go see a movie or something idk’

now its ur turn to be embarrassed

u hope ur hair is hiding ur face as u look back down at the book in ur lap bc no doubt ur blushing

but sicheng is just staring at you

and

before even saying anything

he leans over the gap between you

with all the books

and hovers in front of your face

ur so shocked and ur heart is beating way too hard and fast and ur breathing is too quick to be normal are you having an attack I dont know-

and then he leans forward a little bit more

and his lips meet yours

and suddenly its like a fireworks display went off inside you

and then its almost midnight on a Thursday night and ur sitting in the children's section of your workplace in the beanbags with sicheng cupping ur face and kissing you

he just really needed to kiss you

like more than he needed air

and when u finally pull back

he loves how breathless you are

how you have to fight to keep the smile off your face

how you stare at him with wide eyes

‘so its a date then?’

you blush even redder

and nod

‘ye its a date :))’

but for the next fifteen minutes you sit in stunned silence together

small smiles playing on your faces

until u look at your watch and ur like

‘shit sicheng I have to go’

and his eyes widen bc holy crap u were supposed to leave like half an hour ago

so u both sprint around the library trying to put all the books back

and he meets you at the door again after you've grabbed the keys and made sure everything that needed to be locked was,,, u know,, locked

and when ur walkign to the door again

hes on his phone

u cant see but hes texting his friends about what happened lmao what a softie

and when u walk out together

without thinking he grabs your hand

and u walk home

hand in hand

after midnight

he clears his throat

‘so uh,, when actually is our date’

‘my last class ends at 5-’

‘so 5 it is’

‘are u sure??’

he nods happily

and he presses a gentle kiss to ur forehead when u get to ur doorstep

‘ill see u tomorrow’

but the next day

when u come out of your last class

a little giddy

a little too excited

and see him leaning against one of the stone pillars

effortlessly handsome

you feel your heart flip

and maybe ur just tired or maybe its him

but hes really attractive

like really really attractive

its actually just that youre in love with him

he doesnt see you coming

too focused on something on his phone

but he definitely sees you when you push his hand out to the side and step onto ur toes to kiss him

and u can feel him smile a little as he kisses you back

‘ready for that date?’

‘yeah, where are we going’

‘so I was thinking we could go to the libra- HEY! dont hit me I was j o k i n g y/n jesus christ’

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ais-n · 5 years

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1 | more like apologise for how harmful it was? how the mlm relationships were so clearly hetero? the sex scenes were so straight to me tbh. and i say this as someone who has read the books twice. first time i didn't see what i saw the second time. i think you genuinely wanted to have people of colour representation but it's very racist to me how hsin and emilio were done. constantly called "exotic" which is a thing americans like to use so much when it's not their ethnicity.

Hi! Thanks for the detailed explanation, I appreciate it! At first I had such HIGH HOPES I could reply to all three of your asks in one place but it turns out I talked too much (go figure lol) So I’m going to do then one at a time. I did want to start out replying to one offhand comment in the 3rd ask and then I’ll get into the rest. Below is what I had written before I realized I need to split it into three and then edited out saying I’m answering all at once. For anyone who hasn’t seen all three asks yet, that’s why part of what I’m talking about isn’t represented above - anon, hopefully it makes more sense to you since you know the future right now from what you had written in the past. ....wow, I made that confusing.

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Thank you for the explanation! I appreciate you too! Also you made me laugh out loud at the gay comment, so thank you for that XD You are not making me feel worse; I appreciate the courage you no doubt had to pull together to post this :) I could be wrong but if I imagine myself in your place, I imagine feeling a little scared or intimidated to post and yet feeling it is necessary. I think it’s really cool you were able to post this in such a thoughtful explanation. Thank you!

In order to not overwhelm anyone’s inbox - and to make it easier for you - I put these all together in one ask. [[[EDIT: JUST KIDDING I talk too much - this is answering stuff from each ask at a time, sorry. I put it behind a cut to make it less long on people’s dashboards.]]]

Still, I imagine with so much I want to talk about at once, I will probably miss things so let me know if I miss something you really wanted to talk about or you wanted follow up on something in particular.

Anyway READ MORE BELOW for a probably stupidly long reply lol Just, knowing me at least….

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Hi welcome to the below deck party! I don’t know why I said it that way. That was creepy sorry lol Anyway I’m breaking this up a little bit but the more I think about it the more I think this probably really can’t address everything properly in one place. So, again, seriously just let me know if you want follow up on anything - or if anyone does, for that matter. I’m not doing this quite in order though.

RACE:

Yeah actually, I agree that “exotic” is pretty ??? terminology to be using tbh. I don’t imagine I would use that wording if I were writing something today and if we were to edit the series now, I’d remove it. I don’t remember the context, to be honest; whether it was only used in narration or if it was used in dialogue too. Dialogue might stay, if it’s to show a person speaks a certain way and has certain views on life, but I’d personally probably change that in narration unless it had a specific reason for being there. Which my very vague memories combined with your comment make me think probably not?

In regards to Hsin/Emilio plus even terminology like ‘exotic’ or whatever being used - so, upfront, I need you to know this whole post is not an excuse or etc. It’s just an explanation.

I didn’t write Hsin or Emilio, so I honestly can’t speak for or about them. I would like to be able to give you some insight into “Sonny’s” background and his friends and family he said he was inspired by in writing them, or give you insight into Alicia’s background (as she is a person of color, at least I was always told she is), but I truly don’t even know what was a lie and what was truth anymore. He always told me his characters like Hsin and Emilio were based pretty directly on people he knew - well, Emilio in particular was hugely based on a cousin of his. But that cousin didn’t exist, it turns out, or at least not in the way I knew. We wrote our own characters and were in charge of their own stories, although we also co-wrote the series as a whole and had input on the plot and etc. But I never really dealt directly with Emilio or Hsin in the writing of them other than how my characters interacted with “his” characters.

I can’t speak on behalf of anyone so I honestly can’t say if Emilio and/or Hsin are concerning or not concerning portraitures of any demographic. I really feel that such a determination has to be up to each reader. I say that in part because I’ve heard over the years that people actually appreciated the way they were written, for various reasons, and some of the people saying that were from demographics that the characters represented. But that also doesn’t mean it has to be something across the board; that because one person feels a certain way, everyone else whether in or out of that demographic has to agree. Quite the opposite, really.

I wish I could even say something like “I know Sonny did a lot of research on xyz specific topic because we talked about abc in regards to it” but I can’t. I know we had those conversations but I don’t know if anything I was told is true. What I can say is the series was written basically 15 years ago. Or rather, started around 15 years ago, then written on/off over multiple years. And we started it essentially in the same vein as BL fanfic, just sort of as a fun thing to do on our off time without any initial plan to ever publicly share it. The good thing about humans and culture is we change as we grow, and there are many things we can continue to gain understanding of as we go.

One of the really good things about the last 15 years is it’s become more and more accessible to learn about the world and its people. When we started ICoS, for example, Google streetview wasn’t a thing. In order to try to be accurate about something like the streets of a particular city, we either had to totally make shit up and say the war changed everything in that town or I had to try to track down a paper map of it and hope nothing had changed significantly since then.

Slowly over the years, the globalization of information expanded. Over time, all the little details I didn’t know to even question became things I could find easily. Like, do they say W Something St or Something St W? Is it Avenue Blah or Blah Avenue? Do they even use terminology like avenue or streets? Do they commonly have alleyways everywhere or anywhere and if so how big are they? What are the roads made of? What is the lighting like? Are there basements?

I grew up in Midwest USA on the tail end of tornado alley where a basement is an absolute must. Imagine my absolute confusion when I learned there are houses out there where they DON’T go underground. Like, at all. wtf??? From my, at that time obviously limited, experience, the only people I personally knew who didn’t have some sort of underground space were apartment dwellers or my friend who lived in the mobile home park. It was such a staple understanding in my life to assume everyone had a basement in their home that I had no idea to even question the existence of such a thing when trying to write another location within the US, let alone anywhere else in the world. And at a certain point when we were writing it, I didn’t even know to ask certain questions, or if I did I didn’t have an easy way of finding it.

If you were to read the very, very original version of Evenfall and compare it to what’s most recently released, for example, there are many differences. One example of something you might notice is the streets are totally different in Monterrey. That’s because we had to make up streets the first time around because I could not find any maps for the city. I tried but they just weren’t accessible for whatever reason; not in the detail I needed and where I could find them, or probably afford. We had to just be like “Welp, guess the war changed it all, sry!” to explain the random names and structure. But as the years passed, information spread to a minute level across the world slowly but surely. First, Google eventually had the layout of the city streets, then it had satellite imagery, then it had Google streetview, then it had people randomly uploading photos to locations, and so on. Eventually, there was enough information from big to small to feel relatively sure we could at least somewhat accurately represent the geography - not perfectly, absolutely not because we’d never been there - but an approximation that hopefully wouldn’t be too jarring for someone actually able to visit, themselves.

You may wonder why the hell I’m talking about streets in Mexico when your comment was on Hsin’s and Emilio’s characterizations, but I mention it because I look at a lot of things in writing with that same level of paranoia of wanting all the details possible to write it to try to be as accurate to at least someone’s reality as possible. That’s one reason why I haven’t written Domino, for example, which focuses on Vivienne’s life; it probably seems like it should be easy to do, and in ways it is. But I don’t feel nearly educated enough on how it would be to grow up in France in a rural then urban area with the sort of pressures she had as a young woman and with her different levels of wealth and the way she looked and etc etc to be fair to anyone who may find representation within that and to not accidentally jar them totally out of the experience by the equivalent of randomly throwing a basement in the middle of Texas because who the fuck knew Texans don’t automatically have basements in all their homes??

Really, with anything, there is always room for improvement - especially with anything as complex as any aspect of any demographic which inherently then serves as some form of representation for a huge variety of human beings. Humans, being complex beings themselves, will thus have an even larger variety in the way any topic can be seen. What is severely off-putting to one person might be acceptable to another. Sometimes society steps in and is like nah bro, idgaf if you’re cool with that, I’m not. And sometimes it remains so complex that it’s hard to give one exact answer.

What we tried to do was listen to feedback as we wrote and take it into account in the writing of the series itself. Also, especially later in the series, whenever possible we tried to do research as much as possible on whatever detail or topic we had going on to try to be as accurate as possible.

I’m truly not trying to skirt any sort of issue, I just don’t think I can properly say a singular reply to your concern without being unfair to different voices I’ve heard on this topic over the years. If I had never heard directly or indirectly from people that they specifically appreciate the representation of the characters, if in fact I had only ever heard concerns about them, it would be easier to say we were wrong. But I’m not part of any of the demographics so I can’t speak on behalf of any of them. Thus, I can only listen to what different people tell me, and know that regardless of what I’m told, for them that is truth and thus I respect it.

What I will say is it certainly was not the intention to upset, insult, alienate, or otherwise cause concern for anyone reading the series for anything other than the actual things intended to be fucked up like the things the characters went through and so on. I’m very sorry that the characterization is so upsetting and concerning for you. That really sucks; it takes away from the point of the story and puts you in a place that is deeply uncomfortable. I’m very sorry we put you in that position.

RELATIONSHIPS

Actually, I’d love to hear more what you mean by your comment. I have certain inferences I make based on what I think you mean but I don’t want to misinterpret and misrepresent your concerns.

The way I interpret “how the mlm relationships were so clearly hetero? the sex scenes were so straight to me tbh.” is maybe related to the idea of dominance vs submission? Like making an equivalence of that to masculine = dominant = power/strength = top = Hsin, and feminine = submissive = weakness = bottom = Boyd? Is that what you’re suggesting or did you mean something else? I have a lot of thoughts on this subject but, again, I don’t want to ramble on a tangent if I am totally misunderstanding what you meant. Especially since I rambled so much above.

So if you’d like to explore the topic more and would like thoughts/answers/etc just let me know in another anon ask more specifically what you mean, if you can. Thank you :)

I’ll go onto ask 2 for now - I forgot exactly what came up in that ask vs the 3rd ask so I’m not sure how long it will take me to type up a reply. Just in case I don’t finish it today, I wanted to sign this off in the meantime with I hope you’re staying healthy and safe!

#Anonymous #ask ais #icos #in the company of shadows

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