#also motion effects!!! yay!!!!(i really struggled doing them)

[koolaidaddictedkid]

one of konohas backbones

[spicyteez]

Deal II

Smut 

Gang boss San x Fem Reader

Word count: 5.8k

Part I

Warnings: thigh riding, some nipple play, a little bit of spanking, Dom San whoof. But also Subby San too, riding, marking, cockwarming, unprotected sex (pls don’t do that), a fight, mentions of blood 

A/N: Part 2 yay! I loved writing both of these and I hope you enjoy them. I hope this fits with the story and is cohesive with the San in the last one. This one is a little soft because I was in such a soft mood all week and this was the result :)

Sanie 💕: Babeee. Come over.

Your phone dinged once again and you quickly flipped it over, hiding the message that popped up for the world to see. 

Sanie 💕: I wanna fuck you.

The last time he had texted you such things, one of your employees had read it before you could stop them. That had been a disaster. Discussing your sex life with an employee was not your definition of a good time. 

Once you had begun officially dating San, you learned things about him that surprised you. Like how whiny he got when he was feeling needy. 

You: I can’t, I have a delivery coming tonight. 

Noticing a customer approaching the register, you put your phone down and busied yourself with taking their order. It really had been a long time since you had seen him and you really missed him. With no end to your busy schedule in sight, you were beginning to become touch starved. You hadn’t seen San in over two weeks and work was killing you. Checking your phone once again, you noticed there was no response and moved on with your work, hoping that he wasn’t too unhappy. 

Night fell and you waited for the delivery man to come. What type of a company delivers at nine pm on a Saturday? Once you had signed for the goods and they were all stashed away, you were finally able to return home for the night. Shrugging off your long coat, you threw it to the side and plopped down in front of the TV. A knock on the door distracted you from your show and you stood up to give whoever it was a piece of your mind. 

“You better have a good reason for knocking on my door at ten-” You trailed off when you noticed it wasn’t a stranger, but your boyfriend staring at you with his eyebrows raised and a smirk on his lips. 

“Oh? And what are you going to do? Spank me?” Your face grew red and he chuckled at the effect he had on you.  

Standing back so he could come in, you sucked in a breath when his hands came to rest on your hips. Pushing you slowly, he backed you against the wall and pressed himself against you. His lips were on yours in an instant, tenderly applying enough pressure to drive you insane. Pulling away, he inhaled sharply and rested his hand on the wall above your head. “I’ve missed you.” 

Wrapping your arms around him, you pressed your head to his chest and breathed in his familiar scent. “I missed you too.” You stood like that for a moment, listening to his steady heartbeat and enjoying the feeling of his arms around you. 

You pulled back to lace your fingers with his. “What do you want to do?” Grinning up at him, you giggled at his adorable eye smile. Your boyfriend was the cutest. Even if he was a gang boss.      

“Whatever you want. I want to see what you normally do on a Saturday night.” 

Leading him to the couch, you made sure he was comfortable before resuming your program. You laughed along to the humorous lines, missing the look of adoration he gave you. After months of meeting exclusively at his place, it felt so strange to have him sitting on your couch in your tiny apartment. The gap between the luxurious suite he lived in and here had you worried he would think your home was pitiful. Looking over at him, you noticed he looked relaxed and at ease. Some of your worry faded away and you chided yourself for thinking that way. 

Hours later you were spread across the couch, your legs in his lap, both staring at the screen intently. The final scene of The Notebook played out, bringing tears to your eyes. How many times had you watched this film and still felt your heart wrench at the ending? A few too many to count. Once the credits began their ascent up the frame, you felt San’s eyes on you. 

“Babe,” He chuckled lowly, pulling you fully into his lap. “Don’t cry. It’s just a movie.”

Burying your face in his neck, you breathed in his scent and tried to stop your sniffling. “But it’s so sad!” You wailed. Wrapping your arms around him, you felt his chest rumble with his laughter. Rocking you gently, he rubbed soothing circles into your back until you felt your emotions were under control. 

“It’s three in the morning. I think it’s time you get to bed.” Patting your head, he waited for you to stand up before he stretched and stood up himself. You noticed him gathering his things and decided that maybe you’d like to wake up in his arms tomorrow rather than your empty bed. 

Reaching for his hand, you got his attention. “Sannie. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but maybe…” Looking at his shoes, you felt your face heat up. Why was it so hard to ask him? He’d done the filthiest of things with you, but asking him to stay the night was terrifying. “Do you want to stay the night?” 

His hand came to your face, gently holding your chin and raising your head up to look at him. “Of course baby.” He gave you a quick kiss and allowed you to lead him to your bed. Digging through your drawers, you found a tshirt and some sweats that you thought would fit him and let him go change into them. When he walked into the room, he paused when he saw your choice of sleep wear, a flowy camisole with a pair of short shorts. You definitely knew what you were doing when you chose the outfit, knowing that the delicate fabric against your skin would drive him wild. He had texted you earlier to let you know he was needy, and heck, maybe you were feeling a little needy as well. Standing innocently, you felt heat rush to your core as his eyes slowly raked over every inch of your body. Moving forward slowly yet confidently, he met your eyes and you saw pure lust swimming in the dark orbs. You felt excited yet shaky, stepping back until your legs hit the bed and you fell back onto the plush mattress. In a second he was on you, climbing on top of you and caging you beneath his toned body. Dragging his teeth across your jaw, he trailed to your neck and nipped at the skin. Letting out a whine at the feeling, your mind clouded and you tilted your head to give him better access. His breath, sweet and hot, mixed with his intoxicating presence had your head swimming and your pussy dripping. Biting down harder, his fingertips flitted over your exposed collarbones and chest, the warmth of his hands making you shiver. Removing his teeth, he soothed the newly formed mark with his tongue, lapping at the hot flesh and sucking on it slightly. 

“Do you want this baby?” His voice had sunk an octave, his desire obvious. 

Lost in the feeling of his lips on your skin, you choked out a reply. “Oh yes San.” 

A harsh bite to your neck had you gasping for breath. “It’s Sir to you, sweetheart.” 

Your heart sped up in anticipation, every nerve crackling with excitement. His dominant side had taken over, his desire to control you overriding all other thoughts in his head. When he got like this, you couldn’t help but think he was unbelievably sexy. 

Pulling away, he sent you a harsh look when you whined at his absence. Tugging your shorts down, he tossed them to the side and noticed the damp soaking through your panties. His breath hitched and he struggled to maintain his composure as he stood and untied the sweatpants resting on his hips. 

“Did that turn you on that much?” Wonder laced his voice and he cursed under his breath. “Holy fuck." Nodding your head, you bit your lip as you gazed into his awestruck eyes. Tugging down his sweatpants along with his boxers, he pulled off his shirt as well and stood completely bare before you. No matter how many times he undressed, you could never get used to it. His body, toned and lean, always had your mind imagining sinful things. Not to mention his cock, which was fully erect and in need of attention.      

Noticing the way you stared at his exposed thighs, he walked to the head of the bed and sat up straight against the headboard. “Come here.” Patting his thighs, he waited for you to crawl onto his lap. His fingers hooked in your panties, pulling the garment off your body. Instead of grinding you down onto him like he would usually do, you found him guiding you to straddle his left thigh. He pressed down on your hips, forcing your slick folds to make contact with his leg. Mewling at the pressure on your clit, your hands latched onto his shoulders to ground yourself. “That’s it baby. I want you to get off on my thigh.” Everything about the way he cooed the words, falling from his lips with his familiar charm felt so sinful, yet you couldn’t get enough of it. Pre-cum clung to his thigh, aiding your movements against his flexing muscle. You were practically dripping at this point, pussy gushing as the angle of your hips stimulated your clit with each pass. Loud wet noises filled the room and San groaned quietly, his dick twitching with each recurrence of the filthy sound.

Speeding up your motions, you gripped his shoulders tightly, feeling your release rushing closer. San noticed the way your breath hitched and your hips frantically ground against his thigh and he knew you were close to your finish. Gripping your hips harshly, he slowed your pace, effectively cutting off your anticipation. “Sir.” Whining in frustration, you gazed at him doe eyed, begging him to let you cum. He felt a surge of pride at your outburst, to have someone as gorgeous as you at his mercy made him feel so powerful. 

Fingers digging into your hips, he set a torturously slow pace, sensually dragging your hips as he flexed his thigh. Leaning in to your embrace, he kissed your neck softly, trailing his tongue to your ear and biting down on the appendage gently. “Patience kitten. I want to feel every millimeter of your pretty pussy.” A shiver ran down your spine from his proximity and the lewd words he had whispered into your skin. You involuntarily clenched around thin air, his deep tone affecting you more than you’d like to admit. Leaning back, his nimble fingers slipped beneath your camisole, sliding up to your breasts to fondle the sensitive flesh. Taking your nipple between his fingers, he pinched down hard, drawing a ragged moan from your lips. He continued to play with your breasts, abusing your tender chest and undoubtedly leaving bruises from his harsh squeezes. Abandoning your chest, he gripped your hips once again, slightly speeding up the speed of your movements. He kept you there for what felt like forever, dragging your abused pussy against him slowly, feeling your soft lips slide against his thigh steadily. 

The fire in your stomach ignited again, your moans growing more frequent and higher pitched as you got closer and closer. Swiping his fingers through your dripping wetness, San pressed his fingers to your clit firmly and rubbed slow circles onto the engorged nub. Fingernails digging into his shoulders, you barely registered his hiss at the pain through your pleasure induced haze. The world seemed to fall away, all input leaving your head besides his fingers running over you repeatedly and the knott about to snap in your stomach. 

“That’s it baby. Cum all over my thigh like the dirty girl you are.” With one last movement of your hips and circle on your clit, you fell over the edge, throwing your head back in a silent scream. Your hips continued to move under his hold, riding out the mind numbing orgasm until you felt the sting of over sensitivity buzz in your spent slit. Mind clearing, you heard San whispering praises to you, caressing your hips gently while telling you how good you were for him.    

Breaking his rules, you reached forward to touch him, pressing your palms against his chest while you connected your lips to his own soft pair. Pulling back a bit, you ran your fingers through his two toned hair and brushed a stray strand away from his face. “I love you.” Bursting with love for him, you felt your heart leap out of your chest as you stared at his handsome features. The dark look in his eyes calmed to something loving and tender, his hands cupping your face and bringing your lips together again for a slow, passionate kiss. You pulled away slowly, your heart about to burst from the butterflies floating in your stomach. 

Intertwining his fingers with yours, he laid down on the bed and pulled you to straddle his hips. Touching his angry red cock, he let out a groan while he spread his dripping pre-cum around his length. Lifting up your hips, you allowed him to insert his dick into your numb core, clenching around him purposely to draw out a strangled groan. Tugging on your shoulders, he pulled you down to lay on his chest and connect your lips to his. Rocking your hips on his dick slowly, you allowed his tongue to slip into your mouth and explore your warm cavity. You pressed against his lips harder, battling for dominance. Slowing down your hips to a crawl, you moved at a snail's pace, driving him mad at the taste of his own medicine. Pulling back from your lips harsly, gone was the loving gaze in his eye. His hand came down hard on your ass, repeating his actions and grabbing your cheeks with both hands. Thrusting his hips up into your warmth, he continued at a bruising pace, growling at your disobedience. “Remember who’s in charge here.” 

You felt small under his intense gaze, whimpering at the intense pleasure in your sensitive cunt. Nearing your second orgasm, you felt him twitch deep within you, an indicator of how close he was as well. “Yes, yes, yes.” You choked out, tears forming in your eyes at the pain infused pleasure. 

“Mmm.” Humming in satisfaction, he slammed into you with renewed vigor. The tip of his cock brushed your sweet spot repeatedly, crude curses falling from your lips with the overwhelming sensation. “Look at you princess. So beautiful, so fucked out. And all mine.” He all but growled the last word, deep and animalistic. It threw you over the edge, his possessiveness causing you to clench around him tightly until you felt his hot cum paint your walls. Heavy pants filled the room as he rocked you against him slowly, milking out the remainder of your highs. Once you had both come down, he pulled out and watched as your combined releases dripped out of your spent hole. Squeaking, you felt his fingers push the fluid back into you, dragging against your walls as he pulled out and sucked the digits clean. 

Rolling off of his solid chest, you cuddled into his side. “And I’m all yours.” You whispered back, pecking his swollen lips. Pulling you so your back rested against his chest, you both laughed when you noticed the clock nearing the four o’clock hour. So much for sleeping. 

As your eyelids began to droop, you heard him whisper into the quiet room. “I love you so much. No one else has ever made me feel so alive.” His lips trailed over your neck, pressing adoring kisses to your pulse point. Closing your eyes, you gave into the comfortable feeling and allowed sleep to pull you into its depths.     

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Sunlight streamed through the window when you opened your eyes. Shifting around, you made yourself comfortable and heard a high pitched whine from behind you. Halting your movements, you felt something hard poking your thigh. How was he still hard after your lengthy roll between the sheets last night? Gently grinding against his length, you felt his hands grip your hips as a warning. Rolling over to face him, you caressed his face gently, appreciating his sleepy morning state. Nuzzling into your hand slightly, San closed his eyes and began to fall asleep again. Your fingers traced his skin, trailing down his neck and running down his chest and abdomen to rest at the base of his cock. Grasping the shaft lightly, you pumped him in your hand slowly. His head lolled against your shoulder, soft whines falling from his parted lips as he gave in to the mounting pleasure. Gone was your intensely dominant boyfriend, replaced with a soft boy needy for your touch. The cute sounds he was making spurred you on, pumping him harder in order to hear more of his beautiful moans. 

Pulling your hand away, San whined at the loss of contact and pouted at you. Your heart fluttered at his adorable unhappiness. Pushing him up, you guided him to sit against the headboard like he had done the night before. Too tired to put up a fight, he complied and watched with hooded eyes as you climbed onto his lap. "Let me take care of you baby." The pretty noises he had been making already had you wet and you needed no further preparations as you slid down onto his stiff cock. Letting out a shaky breath, he leaned his head back against the headboard while you began to lazily rock your core around his length. Kissing down his neck, you found his sweet spot and sucked on the skin gently. He pulled away and shook his head at you, indicating that he was opposed to you leaving any marks. It was your turn to pull out the puppy dog eyes, watching the resolve in his eyes fade away. "Please Sanie, just one? I want everyone to know you belong to me. Just like I belong to you." You clenched around him gently, heightening his pleasure as you waited for him to respond. 

With a groan, he gave in, nodding his head and tilting his jaw to give you better access. He was so vulnerable, so sensitive, and you wanted nothing more than to make him feel good. Sinking your teeth into his neck, you whined against his skin when he bucked his hips up into you at the feeling. Alternating between nibbling and sucking, a purple bruise began to blossom on his soft complexion. When you were satisfied with the mark, you brushed your lips across it, soothing the hot skin. Pulling back, you smiled at your work. "Look baby. Now we match." Tilting your head, you showed him the deep purple bite he had nibbled into your skin in the same place the night before. 

"Mmmm. Perfect." He hummed, pulling you close to rest against your forehead. Gently taking your hand, he pressed it to his chest, right above his racing heart. A surge of pride raced through you, knowing it was you who got him so worked up was the ultimate compliment. 

Shifting slightly, you sped up the pace of your hips, feeling his dick twitch deep within you. When you both reached your climax, he pressed his lips to yours in a slow kiss, muffling your combined moans. Halting your movements, you broke away from his lips and left a tender kiss on his jaw. "That was amazing, baby." He thanked you shyly, a blush dusting his cheeks. 

Lifting your hips from his, you sucked in a breath at the sudden empty feeling. He pulled you down to lay beside him, all but smothering you with the intense way he clung to you. Chuckling at the way his eyelids were already fluttering, you traced patterns along the tattoos on his arms as he held you close. The warmth of his body pressed against yours permeated your being and you soon felt your eyes closing as well, giving in to sleep for the second time. 

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Two weeks later you found yourself in the passenger seat of a Mercedes Benz, scanning your surroundings in awe. You knew San was rich, but you didn’t know he was this rich. Squirming uncomfortably in your seat, you were fearful of leaving even a fingerprint on the sleek leather dash. His hand pressed down on your thigh, squeezing your leg reassuringly. Smiling at you, he noticed the uncertainty in your eyes. 

“Don’t worry y/n, everything will be fine.” Although his sweet words made you feel calm, you couldn’t help but continue to feel a spark of worry in your gut. Contrary to his words you knew that everything was not fine. You were on your way to a fancy party, one which all of San’s friends and business partners would be in attendance. San’s god father, his late father’s best friend had organized the party and he wouldn’t miss it for the world. He had been a big part of San’s life and you were excited to meet the man who influenced your boyfriend so much. From the way he talked about this man, you could tell he had a huge soft spot for the gentleman who practically raised him since his father had passed. On the other hand, however, you were terrified of meeting him. Your father had been involved with him briefly, long enough for the man to learn of how your dad’s greed for money was greater than the worth of any of his friendships. If he knew who your father was, what would he think of you? 

The three hour drive passed in almost silence, San knew you were scared and didn’t want to worry you any more. When you pulled up to the luxurious hotel hosting the party, your jaw dropped. "Like what you see? My friend Yunho owns the place." He helped you out of the car, chucking at how you continued to stare at the building. 

"Holy shit, San. You never fail to surprise me." 

A quick team of bellhops converged on the vehicle, carrying your luggage off to the right room. You had arrived just in time to get ready for the party and you were stressed. Everything had to be perfect, from your dress to your makeup nothing could be out of place. When San helped you zip up your dress, his fingers brushing your exposed back, he pressed a soft kiss to your shoulder once the action was complete. 

"You look gorgeous. Stay by my side tonight and everything will be fine." Turning to face him, you noticed the look of concern on his face. Your heart warmed at his sweetness and you grasped his hands like a lifeline. "What if I mess up and look stupid? Wouldn't you rather stay here and test out the bed?" You asked the question partially because you wanted to waste time but also because he looked extra delicious in his crisp tuxedo and you thought that it would look just as good on the floor. 

Tilting your chin up gently, he forced you to make eye contact. "Oh hush. You'll be perfect. And besides," A playful smirk crossed his lips, "When we get back we'll have the whole night to ourselves. Maybe I'll even let you top me this time. I can't get over how hot you look when you're in control." 

Swatting at his chest, you failed to hide your blush when his contagious laughter filled the room. 

Soon it was time for the party to start and for you to face your fears. Clinging to San, you made the rounds, greeting everyone who he knew, which felt like practically every person in the room. The party was just what you had expected, boujee attendees dressed to the nines, sipping champagne and talking business. What business did gangs do anyways? Although the party was stereotypical, what you didn't expect was to see a tall young man breaking it down to classical music in the middle of the ball room. He seemed to be a natural entertainer, his antics feeding off of the energy of his circle of friends. You felt yourself being pulled in his direction, and you followed San's guidance, the man somehow looking even taller up close. When you were close enough to observe him, you noticed just how puppy-like he was. A huge grin filled his whole face and he practically radiated happiness. 

"Y/n, this is Yunho." San introduced you to the boisterous young man and you were once again surprised. Yunho didn't look like a millionaire, but looks could be deceiving. Pulling you into a conversation, Yunho never dropped the bright grin on his face and you felt yourself relaxing in his presence. You were so caught up in the conversation, you almost didn’t notice Mingi standing quietly in the corner of your vision. Excusing yourself, you moved to say hello, feeling like it had been way too long since you had last seen him. Over the course of your deal with San, you had grown closer to Mingi, conversing with him as he drove you to your ‘dick appointments,’ as he called them. As you talked with him, the worry you had felt for the past few days melted away and you finally felt calm.  However, you couldn’t help but feel a race of nerves when San took your hand and gently pulled you away. It was time for him to greet the host and you were terrified. 

He guided you across the room until you stood before a middle aged man in a very expensive suit. Dropping your hand, San wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you closer to him. 

“Ah San. It’s so good to see you again.” The man pulled him into a hug, temporarily breaking his hold on you. 

“It’s good to see you too, Uncle Kim. The party is amazing.” San beamed at the man, clearly excited to see him. Pulling away, he returned his hand to your waist and rubbed comforting circles onto your side. 

Your heart jumped when the man turned his attention to you, observing you silently. Shifting under his scrutiny, you realized you were shaking in San’s hold. “You must be y/n.” 

Choking out a ‘yes’, you reached out a hand to shake his outstretched one. 

“From what I’ve heard from San, you’re quite a lovely lady.” He smiled at you, bright and full of warmth. It would seem as if there was nothing to worry about at all. Grinning at you fondly, San pressed a quick kiss to your temple, promising to return for a full conversation with his godfather before pulling you away.  

When you were on the other side of the room, he stopped and took your hand in his. “That wasn’t so bad, now was it?” His eyes shone with pride and your heart swelled. 

Shaking your head, you chuckled quietly. “Okay. Maybe you’re right.” Placing your hand behind his neck, you connected your lips in a sweet kiss. Wrapping his arms around your waist, he pulled you close, deepening the kiss in a way that was almost too scandalous for the public eye. A yell broke you apart, drawing your attention to the man approaching you quickly. 

“If it isn’t Mr. Choi San.” Turning around, San froze when he saw the speaker. You could sense the change in his body language, his shoulders tensing and his jaw clenching. 

“Gabe.” Clutching your hand tighter, he pulled you behind him. So this was the infamous Gabe, San’s rival gang leader and enemy. His muscles were shaking, pure rage flowing through his entire being. The two stood in silence for a moment, daring the other to make the first move. Shifting to the side slightly, Gabe caught a glance at your hand wrapped in San’s. 

A sickening grin split across his face and he raised his eyebrows in amusement. “Who’s this? Your new little whore? I wonder what’s lower, her IQ or the time it takes her to suck you off.” 

In a second San’s fist connected with his face, catching him off guard and causing him to topple over. Jumping on top of him, San continued his attack, dodging most of the punches thrown by his retaliating opponent. Gabe was able to land a punch to San’s face, sending him reeling back before continuing the fight. Spitting out blood, San’s eyes shone with hatred. “Don’t you fucking talk about her like that! She’s so much more of a person than you’ll ever be!” 

You winced in horror as Gabe landed a strong punch to San’s ribs which was sure to leave a bruise. San retaliated by striking his eye, creating a large welt on his handsome face. Before the two could continue, a man yanked the pair apart, pulling Gabe to his feet and standing between the two. Grimacing in pain, San wiped the blood from his split lip and glared daggers at his opponent. People had started to take notice and were staring wide-eyed at the commotion. Taking your hand again, he murmured something to the growing crowd and pulled you away to the privacy of your hotel room. 

Once the door swung close, you watched San’s back as he let out a heavy breath. Collecting your thoughts, you didn’t know how to feel about the scene that had just played out. You knew he could be aggressive but you had never seen him like this before. Although you were disappointed, you couldn’t help but feel a little… proud. 

"San." You whispered, waiting for him to turn around. When he faced you, you took in his ragged appearance and felt your heart ache at the sight. Moving forward, you wrapped your arms around his waist tightly, apologizing when he winced at the pressure on his bruised ribs. 

He slowly wrapped his arms around you as well, letting out a sigh. "I'm so sorry y/n. I don't know what came over me, I just couldn't listen to him say those things about you. I just… I'm sorry." Burying his head in your neck, overwhelming shame filled his heart. Taking his head in your hands, you pulled back to look at him. 

“Oh baby. No one has ever stood up for me like that.” He tilted his head up in confusion, looking at you curiously.  

“No one?” You shook your head no and he frowned. “You’re the most caring, beautiful, wonderful woman I know. Everyone should stand up for you.” Smiling softly, you pressed a kiss to his pouting lips. 

“Let’s get you in the tub. It’ll help your sore muscles.” Leading him to the bathroom, you started the water and threw in whatever fancy bubble bath the hotel had available. Helping San out of his clothes, you carefully unbuttoned his shirt and slid it down his broad shoulders. Unclasping his belt, you helped him out of his pants and into the tub. You opened the door to leave but San’s hand on your wrist pulled you back into the room. 

“Please join me.” He looked at you pleadingly, biting his lip as he waited for a response. Nodding your head, you slid the zipper to your lavish gown down your back. Stepping out of the dress, you set it on a chair, not wanting to ruin the gorgeous fabric. Next came your bra and panties, hitting the floor as San eyed you with awe. Placing his hands on your waist, he guided you to straddle his hips, sloshing around in the warm water until you were comfortable. Sitting back on your heels, you realized just how bad he had fared. A large cut began at his eyebrow, trailing down his face about an inch. Bruises littered his face and you could see a large one forming on his ribs and collarbone. You grabbed a washcloth and lathered it with soap, preparing to clean his wounds while San twisted your hair into a loose bun atop your head. A quiet hiss escaped his split lips when you rubbed at the scrape on his temple. His fingers tangled in yours, bringing the back of your hand to his lips, frowning when your hand came away red from his bloody lip. Finally you finished up, cupping his jaw and gently dabbing at his lower lip, his eyes never leaving your face. Once the wound had been cleaned, you discarded the washcloth and pecked his lip gently, almost as if you were kissing it better. 

Silence filled the room, the pair of you taking in all that had happened that day. Brushing a strand of hair he had missed behind your ear, he smiled softly. “This feels familiar, doesn’t it? Do you remember that night?” 

“Of course I do. It was the best night of my life.” Rubbing his fingers over your knuckles, his lips pressed to the back of your hand once again. 

You remembered that night vividly although it had taken place months ago. It was the night he confessed his feelings for you and he made love to you so passionately. His scars from that time had faded away, but you could still find them if you looked hard enough. It seemed that you were always in this position, finding him beaten and bruised. He told you that he had enemies, but you hadn’t realized just how many there were. 

Telling you to lift your hips, he noticed your confused expression. “I want to be closer to you.” You followed his instructions, shifting on your knees to lift up your hips higher. When you felt his cock press against your lower lips, you knew what he wanted. Sinking down on his thick length, you sighed in satisfaction. Moments of intimacy like this were rare, but you absolutely adored them. He felt warm inside of you and a cozy sensation spread through your being. You felt so full, almost as if a missing piece of you had been returned, like he was made to fit there. Bringing you closer, he slowly brought you to rest on his chest, careful to not agitate his injuries. Rubbing your back soothingly, he held you close and basked in your presence.  

It wasn’t everyday that a man was willing to beat someone for you and you found San standing up for you to be extremely touching. Although this trip hadn’t gone as planned, you knew that it would be alright. As long as you were together everything would be okay.

[sorbet-hydratante]

Been going through a bit lately, and I feel like it would help me some if I write down my recent experiences. Although, if anyone is reading this and has any constructive criticism/ helpful input or advice to offer I think I'd like that, too. I'm calm now, just kind of tired. Placing under a read more so it doesn't take up space. Warning, boyfriend troubles.

Started when I got a new job. Yay job! Orientation started in a few days and I needed business clothing. So, my boyfriend decided to go clothes shopping with me the day before as it was the day that worked best for us.

My boyfriend hates shopping. Like, H A T E S it. I essentially had no money as I had been struggling to get a job beforehand, so that was why he was with me.

We went in knowing I needed dress slacks, white shirts, a jacket/blazer, and some ballet-style socks. I was working on the slacks and shirts.... but 1-2 hours of me doing this had annoyed my boyfriend. Me taking pictures of different clothing and showing them to him (because I value his input, I think his tastes are better than mine when it comes to business fashion) also ended up agitating him, he didn't see the point in it. I sensed how annoyed he was, so I tried to just go with the few items I was absolutely sure of and just maybe go back shopping later today. He points out I still need a blazer and socks, and that another department store is nearby so we should just go anyway. I managed to convince him I could buy the socks on my own (as the socks won't cost much), but we still had to look for a blazer. As orientation starts tomorrow, this had to be done today.

However, because I sensed his increasing agitation through his whole time here, I became more anxious and nervous.

So, second store. We're trying to find a nice, simple black blazer, but it was proving difficult due to high prices. He also wasn't satisfied with the shirts I got and felt I needed something nicer looking, so we looked at more white shirts. I'm starting to breathe fast, and it got to a point to where I needed to sit down and breathe/ calm down. I told him I needed a few minutes, maybe 10-15? He wasn't happy with it, but sat down with me. I start tearing up a bit, as is my response to stressful situations. Tells me I shouldn't be crying, I should be happy as I'm spending his money! He suggested that we ask an employee for help, and I agreed. Then he told me to at least make myself look presentable (as I learned later from him that you are not supposed to cry in public, ever; you're supposed to behave). The way he said that came off as very cold to me, so it took me a little bit longer to get myself together. We hadn't been able to find help however, so we left. I point out that he must be hungry at this point, so we should eat.

During this I texted my mom for advice on my work clothes (at one point I told him that I want to stop and shop with my mom instead; he said that I don't know what my mom's schedule was like for that day so it won't be possible). She said to try Kohl's, so we go there (we couldn't find anything). We then go to Macy's, and we finally found a blazer that works, if a bit tight. I had gift cards I wanted to use (and I wanted to lessen the amount my boyfriend had to spend) so I tried to use them, but they weren't working for me. While I'm trying to use gift cards, my boyfriend made a note of apologizing to an old lady behind us (he apparently also said something to me, but I was distracted with gift cards and thought he was just talking to the old lady behind us). He gets fed up, turns to me and bluntly says if he could just use his card. I was silent for a second, then said sure.

When leaving, he started getting at me for the gift cards. Said I should've called the numbers listed on the card first. I said I didn't know, and that I never had this issue until now. He looks at me with this forced smile on his face, made a motion with his hands, and said we're finished here. (He later tells me he didn't say this, and thinks I interpreted that from his hands. He definitely did, or said something very similar to the effect). On the way home I started full on crying. When we get to the parking lot, he slams his door shut.

I don't remember too much afterwards. He told me about behaving in public, that the old lady did her time and shouldn't have to wait, etc. We eventually both calmed down enough and said our sorries. Our problems reared back up again this morning, and I don't remember what sparked it, but I think beforehand we were discussing about our shopping experience. I told him that I didn't want to shop with him anymore as it was such a bad experience for me.

He got offended at this and said we should be able to shop together, and what's the point of us being together if we can't spend time together. He felt I was being distant with him, and that lately a lot of the things that I was doing was pissing him off, and that he doesn't know what he could do to make me feel better besides throwing money at me. He hates how moody I can be and that my attitude brings the whole environment down (the room, atmosphere, etc.). He also told me to not cry.

And, I'm trying not to cry. I end up failing on that part, but I tried to tell him what he could do, like toning down his approach some, and just being reassured it'll be okay. He asks if I just want him to be a yes man, I tell him no. I also tell him at one point I look to him for fashion advice, which he didn't seem to understand why as I'm capable of picking stuff out. We worked on a compromise for shopping, which is we have a clear set goal of what we're looking for and we spend an hour at most. Us talking it out does help some, and again, apologies.

......it should be over and done with but it's still weighing on me some. My boyfriend's the type to get over things quick, I'm the type that lingers and struggles. I tried to ask him a few times what I'm doing that pisses him off, but he brushes it off saying they're things that piss him off only in the moment or they're just pet peeves. Which.... okay, I guess, and maybe it's for the best? A small part of me still worries about it though, like what if it's something I could work on? But I guess I'm just not gonna know. I'm not really sure what I could do to stop myself from crying when in a tough discussion with someone, it's gonna be hard for me for sure. And the shopping..... I feel that could work if maybe we're getting just one or two items, but a whole outfit or more? I honestly don't know if I can try on outfits and figure out what works best under an hour or so. Just thinking about it is still filling me a bit of dread. If it's more than a few items I think I'll just opt to go shopping without him (and this time I'll have money so I'm not dependent on him). Thinking this is already making me feel bad, because compromise, but I need to take time to figure things out, and just..... ugh.

I'm also not entirely sure what he could do to make me feel better when I'm down/moody, which is a problem. I know that I would like his approach to be a bit softer when I'm getting anxious and nervous, like earlier. But when I know someone is mad/irritated at me? I feel lost.

Is this venting? I don't know. I honestly wish I could talk with a friend about this but I don't know who I could talk to. A small part of me is worried that I was being selfish, or irrational, and I don't want to be.... or maybe I was just completely in the wrong the whole time..? It just feels like I'm wrong, somehow.

[theorynexus]

103:  The Consequences of Choice

Unintentional accusation is unfortunate. One should not raise one’s voice like this if one is not truly angry at the person.   I suppose this is just indicative of how very emotional John is at them moment, though--- and I certainly understand. There’s quite a bit of confusion and uncertainty to be found, here. And the consequences of this matter were quite grave, after all.  Literally life changing, one might say.

I am very glad to see this matter finally discussed!   Come, Roxy!: tell the class about your conversations with Calliope!   Rose, engage your intense calculative and prognosticative prowess to unravel the threads which lay betwixt possibility and results! If only Terezi were here to help~     Heck, I’m surprised John hasn’t talked to her about this already.  May it’s just that he was not emotionally prepared to confront this choice, yet.

It is incredibly interesting how this cosmic paradigm shift psychologically affected the occupants of Earth C.   I do find it somewhat unfortunate that this gives semi-validity to Dirk’s belief that this existence’s very continuity dampens the capacity of individuals within it for true freedom, expression, and [therefore] Relevance, because this makes the split between Meat and Candy less clear cut: in both worlds, free will is sapped by forces not entirely within the control of the world’s population. It’s merely that on the Candy side of the coin, this is a much more subtle force, as of now. That said:  with his clash against the grain of the idyllic shackles of Mind and Void which are swirling about them, perhaps John might aid the group’s actual capacity to fight against these forces, and thus make their world line more important?  It seems to cut against the despair-ridden thematic tones of “Too Much Candy Makes You Sick,” to some extent, but if there is going to be some sort of intermixing between the two sides eventually, as I’m suspecting, some sort of dynamic break will eventually be needed.

As heartwarming as it is to see Roxy telling him to take care of himself, seeing even him dismissing it as “new dad jitters,” very much makes it seem like he’s straining against rubber walls-- making an impression from the inside, deforming the prison, struggling visibly and showing his rebellion, but being pulled back in by the world itself.   It is... honestly very disturbing to see no one engaging with him in this discussion.

Yay, capacity to sense saccharine oversaturation!    More importantly: his checking with Terezi, while some people might believe it to be emotionally unsound (despite the fact that one should be emotionally leaning on one’s friends for support when one is in crisis; albeit I do get the concern that it will cause the development of romantic feelings that John struggles to properly control, especially considering his obliviousness and what happened in the Meat Timeline--- I really do), is at the very least tactically logical: this allows him to get an outside voice’s perspective on things, and more importantly to gather information on what actually happened with Lord English.   If he gets an answer, there, he might be able to properly express his ennui to the others, and to legitimize his position viz a viz Vriska’s indirect role in Lord English’s defeat.

Here’s the emotional/spiritual manifestation of Utopia = Dystopia, again.   At least it is not accompanied by an oppressive regime, as of yet~

Communication in a relationship can be hard.  Her obliviousness, despite her lack of alcohol, continues to be interesting.   I wonder if, beyond the Void seeping in to this world, this has to do with the idea that people and nations can sink into a complacent, almost surreally unaware/complacent state, should the threat of war no longer be present after a long period of struggle.

This is very amusing, playing with different word meanings like this.

No one should feel ashamed for feeling dissatisfied with what others might view as perfection.  This is how ingenuity and technological development comes about, and how humanity’s natural mechanisms ensure that societies do not (optimally) become stagnant and vulnerable to sudden shifts in conditions.  Constant motion and liveliness are needed to keep people sharp, and as a Breath player, he is naturally in tune with this concept.  A lack of responsiveness also naturally goes against the normal effects he has on people as an Air Heir of Breath, as well, so I can understand his frustration at his incapacity to get people to react, here. It goes against his nature, to some extent.

[pleasuringmyprincess]

Love Letter

I wrote the following In July, but decided not to share it at that time. it's now October.  Circumstances change.

________________________________________________________________

I know this isn’t going to be easy for me, so please bear with me.

I’m looking for a new dom for my sub.

I’ve know Ren for six months or so, in a long distance relationship through circumstance rather than design. Circumstance being that I live in California, while she lives in England. This is not a full time LDR, work and family (I’m also from England) bring me to the UK regularly. So in the time we’ve known each other, I’ve travelled to England every 10-12 weeks, staying for 4-5 weeks each time, and I have two more trips scheduled for between now and the end of the year.

When I met Ren it was supposed to be just for play, but we found we had so much in common, so many shared interests outside in the real world, so much chemistry that a serious relationship quickly developed. 

Ren isn’t just a delightful sub, she’s a wonderful mother to two lovely children, she’s fantastic company, intelligent, fun loving, really smart, caring, upbeat all the time, but... there’s always a but, and for Ren it’s a big one.

Let’s start by saying if there was ever someone who didn’t deserve the deck she was dealt it’s Ren. Over the last 6 years her self-esteem has been shattered by her prior partners, (I’ll say no more than that they have one way or another treated her badly) and as a consequence she has suffered from severe depression, has Generalized Anxiety Disorder, has self-harmed, and most recently has been diagnosed and is now being successfully treated for severe Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD).

Pause a moment there - this is the same woman, the woman who has been shit on by the world is also the wonderful mother, the delightful, intelligent, fun loving, smart, caring woman. My unicorn.

Ren’s seen a few big changes recently, most significantly she finally was able to divorce her husband and move to a new home. Two big steps forward, but at a cost of greatly increased anxiety. Just after this she heard that she was losing her job - she’s highly skilled but works in a poorly paid profession and because of the need to care for her kids, can only work part time. And she’s just lost her dom. We’ll come back to that in a minute.

In a scene, Ren is delightful, absolutely exquisite. I couldn’t ask for more, it breaks my heart to think of letting her go. Outside of a scene though, she can be very hard work. It’s more a question of providing support and encouragement over discipline. I have lost count of the number of hours I’ve spent helping her through the pain she feels. When she’s particularly low, it can be 3-4 hours a day. That’s not a complaint, I’d do it all again in a heartbeat even now while I’m writing this. It’s just a sign of the level of commitment you need to make. And just so it’s clear, Ren knows she has these problems and spends a lot of time in self-care activities and while it helps, it’s not enough.

Ren’s a working single mum, on a budget, she’s already very disciplined, very ordered, but she still struggles with some things and I have not been as successful as I would have liked in helping her address these issues (although today she has just proved to me that she can do this unbidden when motivated). I’ve not got to the bottom of why this is, and frankly it’s not been a high priority for me. I’ve been focused on helping her improve her self-esteem, manage her anxiety and encourage her to seek treatment for her PMDD (yay me!). This has really been my primary goal. And while it’s too soon to be sure, it really looks like we have succeeded, her anxiety and PMDD are both under control now. She is far far stronger today than she was three months ago.

Unfortunately, helping her get treatment for PMDD may have been my downfall.

After six years in the wilderness Ren is becoming whole again, free from her past, independent, far stronger than she has been for many years. Strong enough to tell me that she wants to move on. Ren needs someone full time, I know this, we’ve discussed it at length, and I had already put plans in motion to return to live in England to be with her. Now Ren has told me that while I am returning to England, it's not soon enough for her - she doesn’t want to wait. She also has concerns about my marriage. I am divorcing, she knows this, but right now I am married, and my divorce is something that Ren does not want to feel responsible for - she’s not responsible, that ship sailed long ago, but she says she will still feel responsible, and that’s enough. And my age, I’m 14 years older than her, too old in her eyes for a long term commitment.

Now obviously I’m not too happy about this, we are/were amazingly good together and had I not worked so hard to help her through her problems I might not be in this position today. I do feel significantly responsible for Ren’s recent improvement. For giving her the support she needed; for helping her apply for jobs; for showing her that there was a man who would fight for her, accept her for who she is, respect her for it; for being the consistent and reliable dom she needed; and most significantly for getting her back to the doc and having her PMDD addressed. 

This is where I get a little twisted - one of the side effects of the medication Ren is taking for PMDD is possible impaired judgement. And there's part of me that thinks, dumping your dom like this wasn't the wisest thing to do right now. So the treatment for PMDD that I helped her get, might possibly be responsible for Ren taking what I think is an ill-judged decision in deciding that she’d rather seek out her perfect Dom than accept this one with all his flaws. I’m not blind to the fact that there’s part of me that thinks ‘Hey, I did the hard work in putting her back together and it would be nice to enjoy some of the benefits’, OK, I fully realize that’s selfish of me, but it’s understandable, I’m a dom, not a saint. To be clear though, it's not the decision I have a problem with, it's the hurried way she approached it.  But we serve at our sub’s pleasure, and so here we are.

As it is, and I’ve never shared this with anyone, not even Ren, until now. I made a promise to myself that I’d help her come what may. And if that means 'setting her free' and helping her find a dom who’s worthy of her, that’s what I’ll do.

And so I’m looking for a new dom for my sub.

If you think that you might possibly be able to be the dom Ren needs, I’d like to hear from you. Before you all shout, as you might have gathered, I hold Ren in very high regard, and I will not let her settle for anyone who isn’t good enough. And just to be clear, I’m not going away. Ren and I have every intention of remaining friends.

So can this be you?

Let’s see shall we.

You’ve got to accept that Ren is a rich multi-faceted human being. If you are looking for a fuck toy, stop here.

She’s looking for more than just a play partner. Listen to Lou Reid singing Perfect Day, if you can’t offer that, you can stop reading here. Married guys (like me), guys in poly, or any form of relationship with someone else, you can stop here, she wants exclusivity. Btw, if you’re separated, divorcing, or whatever, you’re still married, so you stop here too. You don’t drink sangria in the park with Ren, and then later when it gets dark go home to your wife (read the lyrics, it will make sense).

Age 40-50, no exceptions. You will be fit and healthy, height/weight proportional.

No diseases, you will provide current STI test results, and you will always use a condom.

It will help if you a pro-Remain, if not, you need to be able to offer a coherent argument against. Intelligence matters. 

As a submissive, Ren has specific needs, and specific limits. She needs pain, she needs to be spanked, mild to moderate use of a riding crop and paddle is OK, but not severe caning. She needs bondage both for the restraint and the art. Obviously there are other things as well, but she can share that if you meet, and I’m sure there are things that we’ve not tried that she will enjoy. She has limits and you will respect them. You will not humiliate her in any way, not even name calling. Not in play, not as punishment. There are other things you will not do, obviously, and again she can share them if you meet.

You must be an experienced Dom, having a fetlife account or a tumblr blog doesn’t count. You will meet me first. You will provide government photo ID, and references, and I will follow up on references in person.

Ren needs a Dom who is close by, someone who can see her 2-3 times a week without fail and who will remain in close contact when apart. Long distance relationships don’t work for her (ask me how I know), she needs to know you are close by, which means you must be within daily driving distance. No, she will not relocate. She has joint custody of her kids with her ex and that’s not going to change.

You’ve got to accept that she is not at your beck and call. She’s a mother, her kids come first and always will. You don’t even rate second place; like I said, she has a very demanding self-care program that takes a lot of her time, that comes next. She also has a cat. You might aspire to a position above the cat in her hierarchy, but I wouldn’t count on it.

________________________________________________________________

Don't take this as anything other than a mile marker down a road already travelled.

Applications are not currently being accepted. 

[annakorczak]

Week 3 (01.02 - 05.02)

Yay, this week we finally decided on what our design idea is and it makes me feel great, because I have an impression that we have finally stopped to wander blind in the fog and have something concrete to work on.

Monday, 01.02

After today’s crit session, we decided to continue our work with ‘shake my leaves’ idea, which is creating an experience of plant moving in order to communicate with its owner. It combines two ideas:

- showing plants need by motion

- strengthen the communication by adding the need of interaction

How can the use of motion and the need of interaction strengthen the communication between the person and its plant?

Wednesday, 03.02

We started with brainstorming over various kinds of movement. We were writing down everything that came to our minds in terms of movement. Then, we were trying to distribute various movements to the needs and moods a plant could have. I really liked this part, the work went smooth.

We were talking a lot about the possibilities we have. In the end, we decided that each of us would prototype the specific kind of movement on their own and share it during our Friday’s group work. This would let us actually see how the stems and leaves behave during the movements. We already knew that we were aiming to achieve some natural moves, based on turning to the sun, wind blowing or raindrops falling, as well as more alarming moves, like bouncing and vibrating.

I felt like working with natural moves and I visualized this kind of tilting-rotating movement to fake them. I only needed a half-sphere object to put a pot on it and tilt it and move it along short paths all around the object.

VIDEO 1

Friday, 05.02

On Friday, we were preparing to our crit session. We were writing down what we don’t know about our project, materials, technical aspects. We also designed a test in a form of an interview with participants. We wanted to test how people would start an interaction with a plant and what would they expect as a response.

Material: Person, Plant

Test 1: What would be the natural way for people to start an interaction with a plant?

Test situation 1: Tell the person that the plant can interact with you but you need to start the interaction. 

Q1: How do you think you should start the interaction?

Q2: What do you think the plant reaction would be?

Test 2: What would be the natural way for people to start an interaction with a plant if the way of communication is through motion/movement.

Test situation 2: Tell the person that the plant can interact with you but you need to start the interaction with a movement. 

Q1: How do you think you should start the interaction?

Q2: What do you think the plant reaction would be?

Moreover, I also gave a second thought to the tilting-rotating movement I was working on earlier. I talked to my sambo, who is a mechanical design engineer and we brainstormed a little. I decided that I will change the movement so the pot doesn’t follow any path all over the half-sphere, but instead, it stays in place and is able to tilt to sides. The effect should be very similar, but the construction and prototyping possibilities seem to be more accessible and feasible.

VIDEO 2

I am really happy we now have a specific project and ideas to work on. Something is starting to emerge from the fog and it is really exciting. I am looking forward to our crit session on Monday.

Microcontrollers workshops

This week we also had Arduino workshops. Before ordering my Arduino kit, I didn’t really know what that was, although the name itself sounded familiar. I had never been into electronics and programming before the program started, but I somehow knew that I would enjoy the workshops and I was right! I had so much fun playing with the Arduino kit, joining cables and just making it work. I found out what the possibilities here are and I even had some ideas how we can use it while building our prototype.

During the second Arduino workshop, I got a little help from my sambo and I managed to create a quite nice prototype of Super Mario game controls, using the Arduino kit, some cardboard, plastic tape and copper tape. I struggled with adjusting the code, but it seemed pretty similar to Java Script. It took me around an hour of trying and I figured it out. I was really pleased with the effect and I noticed that I have possessed this magical way of programming-thinking. But a lot is ahead of me when it comes to programming.

[lalainajanes]

Prompt for AU Week (or any time) (I am not particular obviously): kc + alphas of rival werewolf packs and fuck we're mates

Send Shivers Down My Back

When Caroline steps off the elevator she’s greeted by aneerie quiet. It puts her on edge. She’s later to arrive than usual, a sideeffect of a series of restless nights and a guest who didn’t know how to take ahint. It’s nearly 10 AM she should bethe last to arrive. Scanning the room she sees a full house, but there’s noneof the usual chatter and bustle. The ping of IMs is absent, there are notapping keyboards. Not a single squeaky wheel or shuffling of papers can beheard.

Caroline needs to figure out just what’s happened andquickly.

She pauses a few steps out of the elevator and looks aroundmore carefully, notes the pinched expressions and nervous fidgeting that aboundeven as all of her employees avoid her eyes.

Something was verywrong.

She doesn’t think it’sher – she’s not exactly a pushover ofa boss but she’s not Cruella DeVille either. Caroline expects results and isn’tshy about offering either praise or criticism. Nor did she allow herself to gettoo personally involved with her staff. Most of her employees were also herpack and her position as alpha was tenuous and often on the verge of beingchallenged. At work she took great pains to be cordial so she hasn’t thefaintest clue about why every person who works for her is suddenly acting like Carolinehad been hatching a plan to use their pelts for outerwear.

She begins walking again, her pace brisk, the crack of her heelson the marble tiles gunshot loud in the stillness. She stops in front of herassistant’s desk, notes that April is trembling with nerves. Caroline leansforward, smiling softly and making an effort to sound gentle. She can’t showthat she’s alarmed. Leaders never panicked. “April? Do you have any messagesfor me?”

“On your desk, ma’am. But…” her voice falters and she looksup at Caroline with wide, helpless eyes.

“But…” Caroline prompts.

“There’s a… visitor in your office.”

Caroline straightens abruptly, a swell of irritationmingling with her unease. “Why would you let someone wait in my officeunsupervised?”

April struggles to answer, at first only emitting astrangled whimper. She manages to draw in a shaky breath. “He didn’t reallygive me a choice.”

Caroline scoffs, “So? There’s a reason I pay a securityteam.”

She whirls when she hears the familiar whisper of her officedoor. It only takes another instant for the heavy scent of blood to hit her.Caroline tenses, darts a glance at the letter opener on April’s desk. It’s notsilver so it won’t kill a wolf but Caroline can certainly do some damage withit. Her fingers itch to lunge for it but she tells herself to be patient andassess the situation. She studies the man framed in the doorway carefully,trying to place him. He’s dressed casually in jeans and a snug grey Henleythat’s spattered with blood. He’s not particularly large or muscle bound butsome instinct tells Caroline not to let that fool her.

Her gut tells her he’s powerful, dangerous. All the more sobecause he doesn’t look it.

“Who,” she bites out frostily, “do you think you are?”

She vaguely hears April scurrying away though the man’s eyesdon’t leave Caroline. He drifts forward a step, then another, light on his feeteven in heavy boots and Caroline watches him approach carefully, looking forany twitch of muscle that will indicate he’s planning on going for her throat.

But there’s no threat in his movements, his hands remainvisible, loose at his sides. “I know exactlywho I am. I thought I knew who you were, Caroline Forbes, but it seems as if Imissed something critical.”

He sounds perturbed but Caroline only grows confused. Whatcould he possibly have missed? Caroline led two lives, kept pack business separatefrom her company, but she was an open book in both if you knew who to ask. Andfrom the way this guy carries himself, the intelligence in his eyes, he’s notthe type to do sloppy recon.

If he hadn’t shown up uninvited and spilled blood on herterritory she might have even respected him.

When he steps closer Carolineinhales instinctively, used to using her heightened senses to her advantage. Hisscent drifting over her and a light touch of cologne can’t hide the scent ofhis skin.

It hits her hard and she breathes deep, her heartbeatthrumming a frantic rhythm as she fights her instinctive need to claim what’shers with touch and teeth and claws. She wants her marks on his skin, his handson hers and for their scents to combine into something new, something that willwarn others away.

He’s hers. Only hers.

She’s heard enough stories to know what’s happening to her, what he is to her even though he’s yet tosupply a name. Caroline locks her knees to keep from swaying on her feet. It’sa struggle to maintain her hardened expression, but she has to think. She gritsher teeth and fights the pull of him, locks her muscles when her body protests.The urge to step forward is strong, all she wants to do is rend their clothinginto miniscule pieces, to press every inch of her skin to every inch of his.

She didn’t even care that they had an audience. Werewolvesweren’t exactly shy.

It takes longer to recognize the scent of the blood, butonce it tugs at her she uses it as a focal point. It’s familiar but placing ittakes time while she sorts through an overwhelming tangle of emotions.

Once it clicks she’s abashed that it took so long. She knowswhose blood her mate is wearing. After all, she’s spilled it herself often enough.

“Where’s Tyler?” Caroline demands, hating how thick andunsteady the words come out. She needs to get herself under control.

“Tyler?” the stranger asks, his head tipping to the sidequizzically.

Caroline offers a false smile. “Dark hair, about yay high?”She holds her hand about level with her forehead. “His blood ruined your shirt soI imagine you at least spoke?”

“Ah, so that was his name. We only exchanged a few briefwords. I’m afraid I reacted rather hastily.” The words are contrite but hisexpression isn’t. If anything he appears maliciously pleased with himself.

“Reacted to what?” Caroline presses.

“A strange wolf covered in my mate’s scent.”

Several audible gasps ring out from around the room, makingit clear this conversation is far from private.

They need to take this discussion elsewhere. Baring her bodywouldn’t faze her but this? This was no one’s business.

Caroline’s hands ball into tight fists, her nails digginginto her palms as she considers the ramifications of what her pack had justwitnessed. The gossip would spread quickly, every member of her pack who wasn’tin attendance will have heard the news she’d been mated within the hour. The usualdicks who are always gunning for her spot will be emboldened, will assume amate will make her weak.

They’re going to be sorely disappointed. Caroline’s notabout to let go of everything she’s achieved, all that she’s built, without onehell of a fight.

Klaus had known Caroline Forbes was lovely – the companyshe’d inherited was publically traded, and so a quick search had yielded dozensof images. He’d studied them all. She’d been cool and calculating in a navybusiness suit at a shareholder’s meeting, her pale blonde hair ruthlesslypinned back. She wore evening wear just as well, elegant gowns and fine jewels,always smooth and serene as she attended charity galas and awards banquets.He’d particularly liked the photo of her outdoors at a Forbes Inc. sponsored animaladoption drive. She’d been laughing with a pile of Shepard mutts in her lap,her curls loose and blowing at the wind, softer and joyous and all the moreappealing.

At that point he’d begin to idly consider bedding her as ameans to soften her up. Every report said that she was smart, calculating andruthless. All traits Klaus admired. It wouldn’t be a hardship to use lust toattempt to sway her to his side.

He suspected that he’d rather enjoy mixing business withpleasure.

He intended to claim a piece of territory for the pack he’dbeen building.  A piece that bordered andpossibly overlapped land that the Forbes pack had always considered theirs. Andwhile Klaus had no real qualms about taking what he wanted with fear andbloodshed (a method that had worked exceedingly well for him over the lastmillennium) it had been pointed out that diplomacy might occasionally serve hisinterests better. His efforts to force triggered wolves to be hybrids hadyielded unfavorable results. A wolf infected with vampirism against their willwas difficult to control.

Besides, if he continued to have to kill the hybrids thatrefused to fall in line eventually Klaus might very well run out of werewolvesaltogether.

Without werewolves there could be no hybrids. And Klaus hadcome to be rather fond of his hybrids.

Caroline Forbes will make a magnificent one.

She’d looked a bit tired when he’d first spotted her, thoughthat had quickly melted away once she’d sensed a threat. She’d grown reactiveand watchful until the moment she’d caught his scent and had been sent reeling.He’d watched the play of emotions across her face with fascination, had beenimpressed by her ability to control herself. She’d managed to claw back an admirable amount of poise.

Watching her Klaus had decided he’d make a project of unravellingher impressive control. And he’d make certain she enjoyed it enough to beg fora repeat performance.

After he’d uttered the word ‘mate’ her posture had closedoff. She’d stalked out the way she’d come, making no motion for Klaus tofollow.

He had, of course. They had quite a lot to discuss. Carolinehadn’t appeared surprised when he’d shadowed her into the elevator and Klaustook that as a sign that he was welcome. He’d watched as she’d yanked her phoneout of her bag. A few taps and she’d lifted it to her ear, “Tell everyone toclear out. Now,” she instructs, her tone icy and offering no room forquestions. The phone is stowed in jerky motions and she smooths out her dressas she faces the front of the elevator, keeping a careful distance betweenthem. He detects no additional warmth when she speaks to him and she doesn’tlook at him. “We use three floors of this building. We’re heading to the 42nd.Everyone will be gone and we can talk over who you are and what you want.”

“Yes, it was rather rude of me to show up without anappointment, wasn’t it? But you’ve so determinedly been dodging my attempts toset up a meeting.”

Klaus watches with great interest as her spine stiffens. Shecrosses her arms, “Ah. So you’re Klaus.”

“Does my reputation precede me?”

Her eyes close briefly and he watches her fist ball sotightly he wonders if her nails are drawing blood, “It’s kind of hard for itnot to, don’t you think? It’s so very colorful.Were you planning on killing me?”

“I had considered it,” Klaus admits. “That’s off the tablenow, of course. I was rather leaning towards seduction if that eases yourmind.”

“Immensely,” she spits out venomously, just as the elevatordoors slide open.

She stalks out, attempting to leave him in her dust. Klausdoesn’t bother to hide his pleased grin as he watches the angry sway of herhips. He’d never given much thought to what his mate would be like but heshould have known she’d have a temper that was something to marvel at.

Honestly, Klaus had always thought him finding a mate wasexceedingly unlikely given how long he’d been alive.

Caroline Forbes is a surprise, a disruption in his plans. He’snever dealt well with those before but this instance is an exception.

He’s not even bothered by the knowledge that this will unlikelybe the last wrinkle in his plans she’s responsible for.  If anything he eagerly anticipates the clashesthey’ll surely have.

He’d just met her but he sensed that Caroline was a worthyopponent. Any mate of his would have to be.

She’s being unforgivably rude. Both of her southerngrandmothers would have fits if they saw the way Caroline was acting. Herparents would be entirely disapproving – they’d drilled the rules of diplomacytheir kind abided by into her head since birth. William and Elizabeth Forbeshad prepared her to lead even when their peers had scoffed at the idea of awoman heading up a pack as old as theirs. If Caroline had treated any othervisiting Alpha the way she was treating Klaus Mikaelson right now she’d have awar on her hands.

She tells herself there are serious extenuatingcircumstances but it’s a weak defense. She needs to do better. Caroline keeps moving,avoids looking at him, maintaining as much distance between their bodies as shepossibly can. Her avoidance wouldn’t be noticeable to most but Klaus’ indulgentexpression tells Caroline he knows exactly what she’s doing and why. He’spersistent in closing the gap though he’s smooth about it. He doesn’t push too far into her bubble but he’sundeniably there.

Unsettling her.

She leads him into a conference room, a place where shealways feels in control. Caroline can only hope that it gives her a boostbecause she’s feeling so far off her game. Her nerves are screaming at her, herthoughts a jumbled mess of cautions and demands and admonishments. She’d knownthat putting Klaus Mikaelson off was a gamble, had hoped to just buy a littletime to figure out a way to bargain with him.

She’s got lists on her phone. Things she can offer him. She’dthought it a simple matter of enticement, thought that she merely had to findsomething he would want.

The problem with that was there weren’t too many things a1000 year old hybrid with money to burn and very few boundaries about peskythings like rights of ownership didn’t already have.

She’d had no illusions about how hopelessly outmatched herpack was if Klaus wanted to take them out or worse, collect them for his hybridarmy. Caroline had been running herself ragged trying to think of a solution,some deal she could strike.

She hadn’t expected him to just show up and she certainlyhadn’t expected that he’d be her freaking mate.

Caroline circles the table, sinks into the leather chairthat sits at the head. Klaus wanders over to the windows. “It’s quite a view,”he remarks admiringly.

She holds in a snort. “Really? We’re doing small talk now?”

“Would you have preferred I offer an apology for yourboyfriend’s untimely death?”

He turns to look at her, his eyes far too blue and far toointent. Caroline folds her hands to stop them from visibly trembling. She’strying so hard but she can’t stop wanting to touch him.

“That depends. Are you actually sorry?”

His shrug is casual and he takes a careful step forward,gauging her reaction. “I’m rarely sorry, truth be told.”

“Yeah, I figured. That sounds right in line with yourreputation.”

“You don’t seem particularly broken up,” Klaus notes. “AboutTyler. Not a love match, then?”

Caroline considers her answer carefully. She knew how oldKlaus was, had heard stories of his cunning. She has no doubt he’ll spot anylie she tries to tell and hold it against her. If she’s going to protect herpack she needs to earn a little trust. “I loved Tyler when I was in highschool. Before pack politics mattered. When my father died… things got messy.Richard Lockwood wanted to be alpha, couldn’t wrap his head around the ideathat little ‘ol me was capable. He challenged me. I won.”

“Did you kill him?”

“No. Nor did I kill him the second time he tried. I probablywould have, had he tried again, but Mr. Lockwood had a heart attack and keeledover in his mistress’s apartment before that became necessary. Tyler tried achallenge of his own the next full moon. Wanted to make daddy proud.”

“Unsuccessfully, I imagine?”

“He did better than his dad ever did but he relied too muchon brute strength, not enough on brains. Typical man.”

Klaus’ lips curl in amusement even as his eyes flare yellow,“And yet, this morning, your scent was all over him.”

Caroline meets his eyes defiantly, “Yeah, he’s kind of acuddler. Or was, I guess. And if you start some chest beating alpha male crap Iwill do my very best to throw you out that window.”

“Wouldn’t kill me,” Klaus notes casually. Caroline imaginedhe was pretty used to threats against his person.

“I don’t want to kill you. If I kill you I turn into araving lunatic, remember? I like my brain as it is, thanks.”

“I’m beginning to think I like your brain too, love.”

Caroline refuses to be charmed even if he seems like hemeans it. If he’s adept at spotting lies he must be equally capable of tellingthem. She narrows her eyes and straightens her posture. “I’m not going toapologize for any of the sex I’ve had. It kind of comes with the whole werewolfthing, certain itches just don’t go away. My position in the pack means myoptions are limited. I didn’t love Tyler. We haven’t even been friends for avery long time. But he could pretty reliably get the job done and didn’t getclingy.”

“You didn’t hold his attempt to usurp you against him?”

“I had gotten over it. I get that grief can mess a personup. I’ve been hearing whispers that he’d been gearing up for another shotthough so you might have done me a favor.”

Klaus raises an eyebrow, “And yet you still invited him intoyour bed?”

“How much closer can an enemy get?” Caroline asks sweetly.

He smiles, a gleam of something like admiration in his eyes.“I see. And I’m happy to have help.”

He’s drawn closer throughout the conversation and Carolinebites back a gasp as he sidesteps her chair, placing himself behind her. A handrests on her shoulder when she would have turned, lightly, he’s not holding herdown. Klaus ducks low to whisper, “Easy. I won’t hurt you, Caroline.”

Caroline’s body eases and she curses her heritage becausesurely her long line of werewolf ancestors was the only reason she believedhim. Mates were rare, miraculous, she’d always been taught. A gift to becherished if you were lucky enough to find it.

With him touching her she almost believes that.

“Why wouldn’t you meet with me?” he asks, thumb idlystroking the top of her spine. “I was most cordial in my inquiries.”

Caroline would roll her eyes if she wasn’t so intent on notleaning further into his hands. “I had a pretty good idea of what you wanted.”

“Did you?”

“Louisiana, Mississippi, Arkansas,” she recites. A briefpause of his hands is the only indication she might have surprised him. Heresumes his gentle exploration and she continues, giving in to the urge to rollher head forward and bare more of her skin. “Hayley Marshall is a snake and wasonly too happy to come and whisper in my ear. I doubled the money you gaveher.”

“Funny, I thought a Queen would be above such petty backdealing,” Klaus mutters. Caroline barely hears him because he’s begun to unpinher hair, his fingers carefully unraveling her curls until they brush hershoulders.

She should stophim.

She doesn’t.

Caroline clears her throat, wills her voice not to shake,“Hayley’s pack is… odd. But they don’t bother us so we let them have their tinypiece of land, their silly titles, because she’s occasionally useful.”

“Tell me, does she expect you to bow, curtsey?”

“I’d rip her throat out if she did.”

He makes a small noise, rich with mirth and somehow fond. “Ioffered her the opportunity to be a hybrid.”

“Offered?” Caroline echoes incredulously. “Is that what you’re calling it? Becauseforced was the term I’ve heard used most often.”

Klaus doesn’t seem offended and his reply is even. “I’mtrying something a bit different. Call it a new leaf. Hayley declined my offer.Seemed rather repulsed by the idea of becoming a half-breed.”

Well, that was tactless. Caroline couldn’t say she wassurprised, however. “Werewolves have hated vampires since the birth of yourspecies. That’s not something that can be easily set aside.”

“So if I were to offer your pack the same choice?” Klausasks and Caroline’s not fooled by the casualness of the query. There’s a lot ofweight in such a small question.

The connection between them had been instantaneous, a sharpnew awareness. It hummed in the back of her mind and his fingers brushed herskin were making her feel warm and lit up from within. She feels attuned to hismovements even though her eyes are closed, the thread between them thickening. Ifhe hadn’t taken the initiative to touch her she’d have snapped and asked himto. His idle caresses are soothing her nerves and Caroline’s never one to beeasily calmed. That more than anything convinces her that she’s stuck with him.If this wasn’t real why else would she feel so safe in a monster’s hands?

If she’s stuck with him, he’s just as stuck with her.  If she dies he goes insane be it tomorrow orin sixty or seventy years at the end of her natural life.

Caroline doesn’t even want to think about what that would look like.

“In my pack I doubt you’d find many willing. We’ve held ourterritory for generations and vampires have never been welcome.”

“I’m aware.”

“Killing Tyler will endear you to a few, make you an enemyof others. Though I’m sure a few more of those won’t make much difference toyou. No one will look kindly on the fact that you showed up and got immediatelymurder-y.”

Klaus nods, accepting. “And you? Could you be convinced?”

That’s the big question. Her knee jerk reaction should be afirm, ‘Hell, no’ but Caroline finds that’s not the case.

She suspects she couldbe convinced.

She pushes her chair back, rises so they’re face to face. Shesquares her shoulders and lifts her chin. Her next words will change her lifeirrevocably but she’s not afraid.  Caroline’sno stranger to deals, excels at negotiations. She might never have attemptedanything with stakes this high but she still plans on coming out ahead. “If you mean what you say, that you don’tintend to force my pack to turn into hybrids, then maybe. I need you to show methat I can trust you.”

Klaus takes her hand, tugs it up to his lips, eyes gleamingwith heat and triumph. He brushes a kiss across the inside of her wrist and theshiver that wracks her frame is impossible to hide. It had only been a tinyhint of a kiss but it felt like a promise. “For you, Caroline for what we couldbe, I’ll do my very best.”

That will have to be good enough.

[wildmomodoesart]

Another New Year’s drawing. New experiences, struggles and hopes for the future. Full story under the cute.

What a freakin' year, huh? I feel like every year has it's moments where it's going by too slow, and then out of no where just speeds up to hyper seed and bam, we're already here. I feel like this year has been especially tough, not just on me but the whole world. Every day is like a roller coaster, and going to check the news I feel myself more and more stressed, but I keep fighting through it, keeping active in the political scene and staying informed. It's just been an exhausting year in that sense. But I've always had friends and things to keep me balanced, so I don’t feel like the whole world is collapsing.

This past year, I got a job at Michael's. Started out working the trucks with a very different schedule than what I'm used to. 3/5 am? It was tough never seeing anyone, but a good experience non-the-less. But then that passed and I became a Customer Experience Manager (part time). Yay my first real manager position without any help from anyone! But of course that came with some complications. And while I can still easily do the job, I don't want to. But honestly, despite all my complaining and worrying about being demoted for nothing that was my fault, once I got to moved to Framing (Full Time! Huzzah!), I feel 1000% better. I get to see artwork and photos all day, help people find the right fit, assemble something that looks AWESOME. I feel like I'm finally putting that hard earned degree to use.

At the very beginning of the year, I took a very long road trip to Yellowstone with my dad. I miss him everyday, but that vacation was a good one. Even if we didn't actually get to go INTO Yellowstone, it was still an experience I would never want to let go of. The Casino's weren't my thing, and that's his demon to deal with, the driving, the scenery, the snow, Ah, it was all just the best thing in the world. Getting to stay right next to where a Wolf and Grizzly discovery area was? That was amazing. Waking up and going to bed when the wolves are howling! Still sends shivers down my spine. And there was so much SNOW. Like, up to my waist, snow! I've never seen anything like that. I took my camera and got amazing pictures of the bears, wolves and even the ravens. I can't wait to go back one day!

This year, I opened up an Etsy store and sell little plaques of Destiny Guardians. While I don't play the game (Motion sickness OP), I appreciate the gamers that come to me and buy my items. They're always so nice, and always say they love their pieces. But this Christmas season, the thing that kept flying outta my inventory were my little soot sprite. I love them, they're cute and fun to make and I appreciate everyone who bought them. I want to branch out and make Kodamas and nerdy terrariums next. So we shall see how that turns out this up coming year.

I started painting again. After 4 years of it at UTSA I was sick of it, but I finally started and painted my Wolf Lady I've been wanting to paint for a very long time. She came out wonderfully, now I just gotta find a spot to put her. I have other plans and projects I want to paint, but that'll happen within the next year probably.

This year, I had surgery that put my whole working out plans on hold. It all started real early in the year, I had started running, and was getting really good at it. But I never wanted to buy good running shoes, they're so expensive. So combining that with my birth control side effects, not running properly (ALWAYS STRETCH AND WARM UP PEOPLE), I developed a bone spur on the top of my foot. I could walk and bike (my only saving grace) but running was getting stressful. I'd step down a certain way and suddenly I'd feel a hot pain go up my leg. So I got it checked out and got the surgery I needed. Now I'm recovering and planning my new work out regimen...and planning on buying those expensive, (but totally worth it), shoes.

I completed my Wonder Woman costume, and I love it. I want to keep working out and building muscle to be an even more epic Diana in the future.

I also got my first really good and expensive lens, and will continue to build my camera lens collection. Maybe even one day move onto a bigger better camera? Who knows.

I live at home, but it's now dubbed, "Casa de Momo". My mom got her own house and I live here. It's a good house and I've slowly started making it my own.

It Snowed! I still can't believe that San Antonio got a really nice snow fall. Thick snow. Not as much as I saw at the beginning of the year, but still! Super impressive. But also slightly scary. Yay climate change. (Not really, Dx)

Mary- Another year and some big changes! I'm so happy that you're officially a roommate! Brothers and now we're under the same roof. Now let's kick next years ass and become beef cakes! Kidding, but really, I'm really glad and excited. And Abel living here too. Even if he sheds an obscene amount xD

Chris- This year has been just as awesome as the last. Thank you for being apart of my life. I'm glad you're getting into cosplay with me. Your Batman is awesome and I can't wait to get you to do a more spandex cartoon Bats. ;)

Sara- I really appreciate our coffee dates and love hanging out with you. Thank you for everything you've done for me this year. Hopefully this next year is even better!

Cats- I haven't gotten to spend a lot of time with my babies this half end of the year. Guero the Gorilla is just too much for them. But Dinah is the only brave soul who will put up with him. Peatree is turning 15 soon! Giz hates the dogs and Gordo is slowly warming up to them.

Guero the Gorilla- My uncle's dog. He drives me crazy and reminds me why I'm not ready to have a child yet. But...he is the sweetest child you would ever meet. Once he's done zoomin' back and forth, he's the biggest cuddle bug and can barely ever leave my side.

To anyone still reading this, thank you for being here for me. It's been a hectic year, I haven't gotten to hang out with anyone as much as I had wanted, but now I hope that'll change. Work is calming down and I hope to not be such a hermit. Though I do still love my hermit ways, I hope I can work on stronger bonds with those I do care about.

Here's to a New Year, (hopefully better than the last) with bigger and better things for everyone.

[taocastleprincess]

inktober for writers - day 7 - confusion / eijiroctober - day 7 - w Ashido Mina

author’s note: THANK YOU GUYS FOR THE AWESOME ATTENTION ON MY DAY 5 FIC!! im v v appreciative and it made me real happy so thanks again.

i skipped day 6 bc I didnt know what to write for the eijiroctober prompt. anyways, so im back again for day 7. this is such a goofy, silly, no real substance at all kind of fic and its based on THIS video that just came out ft Bella Hadid and when I watched it i was like......this soooo Hagakure... LMAO. so i linked it just so you know what meme im referencing. also i’m noticing that whenever I write something with Tooru in it she’s a walking, preppy ass meme and Mina just encourages her. i’m loving this pattern, honestly. they are so fun to write lol. but ok, i need to stop rambling. author’s note over. lol. drabble under the cut as usual.

“So after you asked, what did he say?” Mina examines the face of her redheaded friend very carefully before continuing her current task. She tsks quietly and uses her index and thumb to gently grab his chin and tilt his head in either direction. Kirishima is sitting on her bed beside Tooru, dressed in his nicest casual clothing and blushing softly under all the scrutiny. “You don’t need any concealer or anything. Your skin is perfect. Loser,” she rolls her eyes in half-serious frustration. Tooru giggles on the edge of the bed, floating clothes slightly rippling with movement. “You can do a liner, though, or a highlight? I don’t know. What do you think, T?” Tooru kicks her legs in excitement, seemingly-floating pink knee-high socks move rapidly. “Ooh! Do both! Both! But easy on the highlight because Kiri glows naturally. We don’t want to overwhelm.” Tooru’s invisible hand grabs Kirishima’s face and turns it towards her. “See? Look! So pretty!” Mina smiles brightly, nodding in agreement. “Pretty! Handsome! Hot! That’s why he’s going on a daaaaate!” The invisible girl squeals in excitement and Kirishima’s face burns red. “That’s not what he said.” “So what did he say? And do you wanna do both?” Mina points to her makeup drawer as Tooru starts quietly chanting, ‘both, both, both!’ from her corner of the bed. “Both,” Kirishima answers and the pink-haired girl turns away from him to start rummaging through her makeup for what she needs. She can hear Kirishima start humming in thought, preparing to answer her initial question. Even without looking, she knows that his tongue is peeking out of his mouth with his burgundy eyes rolled towards the ceiling in contemplation. “He said,” the boy continues, “‘get the hell out of my room and just be ready, Hair-for-Brains.’” Kirishima’s voice gets gruffer as he imitates the voice. Mina laughs at both his answer and his weak impression. “It’s a date, Kiri. Like I said.” She walks back over towards the bed with necessary products in hand. Tooru makes a noise of contention. “Like we said!” “Like we said,” Mina corrects. In front of her, Kirishima looks skeptical. “He didn’t say that.” Mina raises an eyebrow. “Does he ever say anything that isn’t violent?” “Or mean,” Tooru adds. “Or crude?” “Exactly. Read between the lines, Kiri. If it wasn’t a date, he wouldn’t have wasted any time shutting you down.” Tooru seems to be nodding furiously, her white baseball cap bounces up and down in the air. Kirishima seems slightly more assured now. His eyes brighten and he adjusts his posture, sitting taller. “Yeah, Blasty isn’t the best with words.” Mina smiles at the recovery of his confidence. “I guess he coulda just said no.” “Definitely could’ve said ‘no.’” “Mhm!” Tooru chirps. Mina watches Kirishima smile wide and happily. “Fine. I’m trusting you, Horn-Buddy.” He whips his head, turning to Tooru. “You too, Hagakure.” “I mean, obviously,” Mina giggles, getting back to the task at hand. “You’re letting me do your liner. That’s the true measure of friendship.” Tooru nods emphatically. “Oh my god, yes! Like, yeah, you can trust somebody with your life but would you trust them with your cat-eye?” Kirishima snorts in response and Mina giggles even harder. “Shut up, you’re gonna kill me, Tooru,” Mina laughs. Placing the small, circular container of highlight in her hand on the edge of the bed, she brings her hands back up to Kirishima’s eye level. She waves two liquid eyeliner pens in front of him. “Black or navy blue?” “Bla—“ Suddenly, Tooru gasps. In one fluid motion, she bounces from her place on the bed to Mina’s side. She snatches the black eyeliner out of her grip and holds it away. “No! Navy blue! It’ll bring out his eyes more! It’ll look so good against all that natural red!” “The hair’s not natural,” Mina and Kirishima reveal in unison. Tooru sucks her teeth and Mina imagines that she might be rolling her eyes. “Okay, same thing,” she responds in near exasperation. “Look. If homeboy comes through with this,” Tooru shakes the black eyeliner pen in her hand, “it’s gonna be quiet for him.” Mina raises her eyebrows in consternation. Kirishima tilts his head with quiet confusion. “But if he comes through with thaaaat,” she uses her other hand to point to the blue eyeliner still in Mina’s possession. “Homeboy’s gonna, like... get it.” The room is quiet for a few moments until Mina bursts into hysterical laughter. Her laugh is so infectious, Kirishima joins in with her, but his face is still pulled into a look of bewilderment. “Get what?” “It,” Tooru responds cryptically and Mina howls even louder. Kirishima shrugs. “I guess I’ll go with blue then.” “Yay!” Tooru throws the eyeliner onto Mina’s desk and jumps back on the bed. The other girl finally recovers from the bout of hilarity and prepares to work her magic. “Okay, now that T is done being a weirdo, I can give you some badass wings,” Tooru smacks her arm and she resists the urge to laugh again. Kirishima nods and closes his eyes. Completely serious now, Mina carefully does the redhead’s makeup in silence. She was only giving him simple wings and a few brushes of highlight, but she wanted everything to be exact and clean. She worked on his face while Tooru pressed her face very closely to Kirishima’s observing her work and giving suggestions when needed. Both girls make praiseful comments concerning the near perfection of Kirishima’s skin, making him blush with light embarrassment. After about the fourth time of this, Mina finally finishes. “Tooru?” The invisible girl leaps from the bed again and stands in front of Kirishima to fully appraise her work. After a few deliberating moments, Tooru speaks. “Okay, open your eyes, Kiri. Wanna get the whole effect.” Kirishima slowly opens his eyes, looking a bit dazed. “I was nodding off,” he says as way of explanation. Ignoring him, Tooru continues expertly examining his face. Eventually, she squeals with excitement. “Ooh! I told you! You look so good with the navy blue! It brings out all of the red and the gold highlight is just enough to emphasize your natural glow! Oh my god! Mina! You did so well!” The girl bounces up and down with unbridled enthusiasm, her sheer excitement rubbing off on her two classmates. “Can I see?” Kirishima’s eyes are wide and bright, the burgundy of his irises looking even more exquisite under the influence of the navy blue outlining his lids. Mina giggles as she snatches her hand mirror off an idle chair and places it in front of his face. She watches happily as the boy’s eyes overflow with elated surprise. “I thought Hagakure was exaggerating a bit, but nah. You did good.” Mina blushes in an uncharacteristic show of embarrassment. “Thanks, but you did all the heavy lifting, Kiri. You’re annoyingly good-looking. You and Kaminari are the worst.” She shakes her head in mock irritation and Tooru giggles, completely in agreement. Kirishima grins, all sharp teeth and big, pretty eyes. He’s just about to respond when there is an aggressive attack of knocks on Mina’s door. Tooru jumps in surprise and Mina rolls her eyes at the noise, correctly predicting the identity of the rude would-be intruder. “I know you’re in there, Hair-for-Brains! Didn’t I tell you not to be late? If we miss the bus we have to walk!” Bakugou’s loud voice clearly carries through the closed door. Tooru audibly scoffs in response. “We only open the door for gentlemen!” Mina snorts obnoxiously and Kirishima laughs quietly into his hand. “You’re gonna set him off,” Mina snickers. “And?” Mina laughs. Skipping towards the door, she raises her voice so Bakugou can hear her. “It’s ‘Respecting Kirishima’ hours! Be nice or we’ll lock him up in here forever!” Tooru follows her over to the door and hums loudly in agreement. Behind the door, the two girls can hear what sounds like mini-explosions. Mina laughs silently, head against the door. Blasty’s getting mad! Behind her, the bed squeaks loudly with the strain of movement. When Mina turns, Kirishima is now standing and has an amused but slightly uneasy expression on his face. “Okay, okay. We had our fun. I’m gonna go now.” Tooru lightly stomps her foot in defiance. Mina struggles to continue laughing in quiet as Kirishima gives Tooru a pleading expression. She hasn’t had this much fun since Kaminari short-circuited during field training last week! She’s having such a hard time containing herself that she doesn’t notice the absence of the sounds of explosions until Bakugou speaks again. “Kirishima,” he starts and it sounds so foreign and strained that Mina almost chokes on her own scream of laughter. “Can we please...” The blond trails off, leaving the awkward half-request floating in the hair and, not for the first time, she curses the fact that the dorm rooms don’t have peepholes. After a minute, Bakugou starts again. “I really don’t want to miss this showing, so hurry the fuc— let’s go, please.” At this point, Mina is crumpled on the floor. The effort of maintaining a quiet volume taking its toll on her. “T—Tooru,” she whisper-screams in laughter. “Tooru broke Bakugou!” Tooru’s face is, obviously, unreadable but Mina imagines that she looks slightly annoyed. “Being nice never hurt anyone.” Still laughing, Mina catches Kirishima rolling his eyes at both of them. He walks past Tooru and carefully steps over Mina to get to the door. “I’ll see you guys later then. And thanks again.” “You’re welcome,” Tooru quickly replies, bubbly disposition falling back into place. “If you’re really feeling grateful you can come back with the deets.” Mina nods, pink curls brushing against the floor. “Text the group chat when you’re back, Kiri. You better kiss and tell,” she winks mischievously. Kirishima shushes her and lightly taps on the door. She rolls her eyes in amusement. It’s not like McSplode can hear her whispering through the door! Both girls watch him open the door in silence. Mina is lying at a weird angle on the floor but from what she can see Bakugou is dressed stylishly, which isn’t unusual but she can tell he put in extra effort this time around. She watches the blond’s face morph from an irritated, troubled expression to one of almost dazed shyness, his cheeks adopting a pretty pink hue. How many times will Bakugou break today? The blond quickly collects himself but the lapse in attitude was too striking to be missed. Mina snickers into her hand. “W—Well, let’s go, Hai— Kirishima,” he corrects himself while glaring at Tooru’s invisible form. “If we miss the bus we’re gonna be screwed.” Bakugou’s cheeks continue to glow pink. Kirishima nods cooperatively. “Okay! If we speed walk we’ll make it still.” The two boys quickly dash down the hall. Mina, not yet done with her fun, jumps up and sticks her head out the door. “Remember, Blasty! It’s ‘Respecting Kirishima’ hours! Don’t make Hagakure beat your ass!” Tooru laughs as they strain to hear a muffled shout in response. Mina is almost positive that she heard some variation of the f-word but that’s nothing very concerning. Giggling, the pink girl shuts her bedroom door. Turning to Tooru, she extends a palm towards her to initiate a high-five. The invisible girl reciprocates, excitedly giggling with her. “Did you see Bakugou’s face? He’s so crushing. Kiri is so dumb!” Mina laughs. “They’re both dumb. Bakugou’s dumber though.” “Oh, of course, obviously” Tooru agrees. Mina playfully slaps her arm as she passes her to get to her desk. Picking up her phone she starts drafting a message. Tooru looks over her shoulder and gives a dainty snort of amused approval. ALIEN_QUEEN: @CLEAR-N-CUTE @REDDYtoRIOT OOOH HOMEBOY BOUTA GET IT REDDYtoRIOT: @ALIEN_QUEEN @CLEAR-N-CUTE im RLLY glad i didnt go thru w the blk..... wldve been real quiet 4 me CLEAR-N-CUTE: @REDDYtoRIOT @ALIEN_QUEEN SEE? trust ur homegirls

[flauntpage]

Get Excited! – Ten Takeaways from Eagles 28, Redskins 13

Yay!

The Eagles defeated Mark Sanchez at Lincoln Financial Field.

It’s a huge win for the Birds, who have now beaten:

Matt Ryan at home

a rusty Andrew Luck at home

Blake Bortles on a neutral field

Eli Manning at home

Eli Manning on the road

and Mark Sanchez at home

Talk about murderer’s row.

We should all be jumping for joy after running through that gauntlet. It’s a super impressive Eagles’ resume, featuring thrilling victories over the 6-6 Colts, the 4-8 Falcons, the 4-8 Jaguars, the 4-8 Giants, and now a lame duck Washington team on their third string quarterback.

I’ll be honest with you; I really struggled to find any inspiration to write about this game. I did the sardonic angle last week, so I didn’t want to repeat that again this week, but I just don’t know how else to approach the Eagles right now. They’re a banged-up 6-6 football team that just beat a couple of loser squads at home. They took care of business, as they should have.

The bright side, I suppose, is that they’ve given themselves another chance. It wasn’t long ago that they had a crack at Dallas while sitting at 4-4, a game they choked away on their home field. So you claw your way back to .500 and get another shot at the Cowboys, who have won four games in a row but ain’t exactly the 1985 Chicago Bears. Stranger things have happened in the NFL, and if the Eagles knock off Dallas at Jerry World, then they pull level with the Cowboys at 7-6 and things at least become interesting heading into week 15.

But what then? They’ll certainly get squashed by the Rams to fall to 7-7 before coming home for a tough game against the 9-3 Texans. I don’t know if there’s a guaranteed win on the schedule until the season finale in Washington.

I see a lot of Eagles fans on Twitter this morning bending over backwards to convince themselves that this team is somehow gonna go on a miraculous run and rip off a few more victories and win the division at 9-7 and slide into the playoffs. What would make you believe that? Because they beat the Giants and the Redskins at home?

I just don’t see it. If you want to reprise the underdogs theme from last year and play the disrespect card and talk about what can happen on “any given Sunday,” knock yourself out, but my eyes and my brain are telling me that is a .500 football team and nothing more.

1) Opening drives

Really nice drives to start not just the first half, but the second half as well.

This was the first time the Eagles scored on the opening drive since the first Giants game way back in week six, and they did it with this play selection:

pass/run/run/pass/pass/pass/run/run/run/run/run/pass

Five straight runs on that drive, finished off by a Carson Wentz scramble and step-up to pick out Golden Tate in the corner of the end zone for his first Eagles touchdown.

In the second half, it went something like this:

pass/run/pass/pass/run/pass/pass/pass

Wentz threw the interception at the goal line to end that drive, but everything looked pretty up until that point. He hit three different receivers and the Eagles worked both Corey Clement and Josh Adams into the possession.

Some good stuff there, and maybe that assuages some concerns about Doug’s inability to script the opening drive this season. The Eagles put up 436 yards of total offense Monday night, and if it wasn’t for two blown red zone trips, they could have easily scored 40.

2) Carson Wentz

The interception was a big blemish an otherwise solid night for Carson.

He made plays with his feet. He got outside of the pocket. He looked more like the Carson Wentz we saw last season, who was able to extend plays and move around a bit and allow his receivers to reroute back to him.

Carson finished 27-39 for 306 yards, 2 touchdowns and 1 interception. His timing seemed to be off on a couple of his throws, but I found this to be the biggest positive from his performance:

Carson Wentz went 6-7 and threw for a career-high 100 yards on passes outside the pocket on Monday.

All of those passes came off play-action. Wentz also set a career-high with 163 play-action passing yards. pic.twitter.com/rG0lDBrzhX

— ESPN Stats & Info (@ESPNStatsInfo) December 4, 2018

Yep.

Here’s what he said about that:

“Play-action, boots and nakeds and stuff are something that we always thought kind of our bread and butter, especially on first and second down. Getting the run game going, really opens up those things. Gets me on the edge, gets me a chance to make some plays, and gets some guys down the field and underneath to make some plays down the field. So yes, I think we used it effectively tonight.”

Doug Pederson said that they game-planned to have Carson under center more in this game, so that’s something to look for when we go back and watch the film. They have been primarily a shotgun team dating back to 2016.

3) Runs and screens

The Eagles ran the ball 29 times with Adams, Clement, and Darren Sproles. Wentz finished with 4 rushing attempts in the box score, so the split ended up being 44 to 29 in terms of pass/run. That’s 60/40 on the dot, which is right around where most NFL teams are going to fall.

Adams carried the ball 20 times for 85 yards and Clement had 5 for 27. Sproles went 4 for 22 with the nice touchdown run.

I didn’t see anything super special from Adams or Clement last night, but I thought Corey had a couple of really solid screen plays on the night that essentially functioned as an extension of the run game. On the third touchdown drive specifically, there was a big 23 yard gain that took the Eagles from their own 33 yard line to the Washington 44:

Lovely play, and a really nice design.

I honestly thought this was one of their best-executed plays last night.

They motion a receiver over to the left before sending all three on misdirection routes, which clears out the near side of the field and allows the offensive linemen to rumble downfield:

Clear ’em out, bit of play action, screen left and let the linemen do their thing for a 23 yard gain.

Speaking of which:

4) Put this on the highlight reel

This isn’t really a takeaway, I just want to highlight the best block any Eagles player has laid this season.

Jason Kelce has put together a career’s worth of downfield blocking highlights, but the combination he ripped off last night was maybe one of the best two or three plays I’ve ever seen him make.

Watch this video clip over and over again:

.@DarrenSproles, officially back.#FlyEaglesFly pic.twitter.com/orwZLxSFXh

— Philadelphia Eagles (@Eagles) December 4, 2018

It’s one thing to take Mason Foster and drive him back 10 yards with one arm, but then he carries that into a crushing hit on Ha Ha Clinton-Dix that just puts the safety completely on his back.

Kelce on that sequence:

“It’s been one of our better plays during my tenure here. It’s a good play because it works to one of my strengths and gets me out in space. It also works to one of Darren’s strengths because it gets him out in space. We just caught them and got them in a good situation [for us]. I don’t think they were expecting it, and it was a big play.”

That’s a “football play” if I’ve ever seen one. Whenever Jason Kelce retires, or whenever somebody puts together that Youtube tribute video, this should be one of the first three or four plays on the reel.

5) Zach Ertz

Remember how Josina Anderson’s source felt like the Eagles were targeting Zach Ertz too much?

He again led the team, this time with 10 targets, but Golden Tate actually finished with a few more receiving yards. Carson targeted Tate, Nelson Agholor, and Alshon Jeffery 20 times, so, yeah, I guess it was a little lopsided, with Ertz earning 33% f the targets between those four players.

Whatever the case, Ertz is breaking records and on pace to break a few more. The Eagles PR staff pulled these notes and included them in their recap email:

Zach Ertz established a new single-season franchise record for receptions (currently 93), surpassing the previous mark of 90 set by Brian Westbrook in 2007.

Ertz’s 93 receptions are tied for the 13th-most by a TE in NFL history. He is only 7 receptions shy of becoming just the fourth TE in NFL history to reach 100 in a season, joining Jason Witten in 2012 (110), Tony Gonzalez in 2004 (102) and Dallas Clark in 2009 (100).

Ertz now has 978 receiving yards, which are the 2nd-most by a TE in single-season team history, trailing only Pete Retzlaff in 1965 (1,190).

Ertz surpassed Ozzie Newsome (4,569, 1978-83) for the 8th-most receiving yards by an NFL TE in their first six seasons (currently 4,642). He also moved past Fred Barnett (4,634, 1990-95) for the 11th-most receiving yards in Eagles history (5th-most by a TE).

I’ll give you one more:

Ertz has the most targets out of any tight end this season (121) and the sixth most targets among all NFL players. The only players to be targeted more are Antonio Brown, Adam Thielen, Julio Jones, Davante Adams, and OBJ.

He’s having a special season. No matter how mediocre the Eagles have been in some of these games, it seems like he’s just doing his thing, running the seam and catching everything thrown his way.

For what it’s worth, Ertz was asked about the ESPN report after the game, and said this:

On the ESPN report stating the problems with the offense are due to the fact that Ertz gets too many targets:

“I did hear of it, obviously. Obviously there are things that come out, playing in the NFL for six years, there are things that come out, sources all the time. I don’t feel like, I hope I’m not the problem, I don’t think I’m the problem. I’m just trying to be the best tight end I can be. I’ve said all along, it’s all about efficiency when it comes to targets and catches. I feel like we are efficient in that regard. I am just focusing on trying to put wins on the table, that’s the only thing I try and do. I don’t really focus on whether I get the ball or not. I’ve said it all along whether I get two catches or 10 catches, most important thing to me is winning football games. And I thoroughly believe each and every guy in that locker room feels the same way. There has never been a doubt of selfishness from anyone in that locker room. I don’t want to give it too much merit, just is what it is. Focused on the win tonight. I felt like everyone got the ball. It was a good team win and that’s what I’m focused on.”

On whether he addressed the report with the team or did he just not care for it:

“No, I didn’t care at all. I don’t think there was anything to address. I mean, it was an anonymous source, so if it was one of my teammates, I feel like, I mean I don’t have a motive by any means. I feel like I have a great relationship with all of my teammates. I can’t give too much credit to an anonymous source because I don’t know who it was.”

Pretty diplomatic answers there.

6) what happened here?

Mark Sanchez comes in the game.

The Redskins are back up inside their own 10.

You know they are going to hand the ball off to Adrian Peterson.

Yet this happens:

Adrian Peterson couldn’t get a job until August 20th. pic.twitter.com/c0feaP7BDo

— Field Yates (@FieldYates) December 4, 2018

Three things I think happened here:

it’s a power right for the Redskins, so they’ve got two extra blockers on that side of the formation and keep in a receiver to throw a block

it looks like Fletcher Cox is held as Peterson comes through the hole

Kamu Grugier-Hill can’t shed his block and a couple of guys miss their gaps

I tried to freeze it to show all three of these items:

Sidney Jones also misses a tackle there. It looked like Cre’Von LeBlanc was blitzing off the right side.

Here’s Malcolm Jenkins on the play:

“They caught us out of our gaps. It was just a big hole and AP hit it downhill and broke one tackle and showed that he still has those jets. It was just one of those ones where you just chalk it up and move on. Before that play, we were doing good against the run and afterwards we were able to bottle it down. They just caught us.”

And Peterson said this:

“As the play developed, I saw the rotation and the blitz coming off to the right side, and I knew I wanted to be patient and press it and see what presented itself. I kind of predetermined that it would be the cut-back or just straight ahead. For me, once I took my steps, it was about being patient and then seeing how it developed. [Redskins LT] Trent [Williams] and [Redskins LG Jonathan] Cooper, they did a great job backside sealing it off. I was just able to bounce around and once I broke free from the one tackle, it was lights out in my eyes.”

Yeah, it happens every so often. That’ll go into the film session this week at NovaCare.

7) winning in these categories

A weekly entry:

won time of possession, 39 to 21

0 turnover margin (each team with an interception)

7-13 on third down (53.8%)

0-1 on fourth down

allowed Redskins to go 2-10 on third down (20%)

lost 0 yards on 0 sacks

3 for 5 success rate in red zone

5 penalties for 38 yards

Strong marks across the board. The Redskins couldn’t do jack shit when Sanchez was asked to throw the ball, which is why that TOP number is so incredibly lopsided.

I think the biggest takeaway here is that the Birds allowed zero sacks for the first time in forever, and that’s partly on Carson with some smart scrambles to extend plays, but the line was excellent last night. The penalties were limited across the board and the offense did extremely well moving the sticks on third down. If they can do similar things next week, they really do have a chance to win in Dallas.

8) Doug’s best call?

The two point conversion to make it a two-score game early in the fourth quarter was an obvious analytical call, but smart nonetheless.

Otherwise, I think he did a nice job mixing and matching the run game with some screens, some play action, and some bread and butter passing plays as well. I really want to go back over the film and look at what Carson did under center.

9) Doug’s worst call?

I was not a fan of running Darren Sproles on third and four on the second drive, which resulted in a three and out.

The 4th down play call on the fourth drive, when Josh Adams was stuffed on a goal line – that was another pretty poor call.

That was a “duo” play, which, in most simple terms, features a pair of double team blocks and lets the running back sort of choose where to go. You want to get four legs on two legs at the line of scrimmage and push vertically.

It’s not a horrible concept; the Eagles just completely forgot to block a guy coming off the opposite side, so I don’t know who screwed up or what was the actually design there.

The only other thing that stood out to me didn’t actually involve Doug Pederson, but Jim Schwartz instead. In the first half they took a penalty to move Washington back to something like the 36 yard line and set up a 3rd and 30. Then Schwartz played his soft picket defense, the Eagles allowed a 10 yard gain, and Washington knocked in a 44 yard field goal.

If you’re going to sit there in zone and allow the underneath completion, why accept the penalty in the first place? You can pressure the QB and go for an incompletion, which turns a 44 yard attempt into a 54 yard attempt.

Shrug. I don’t get it. They need to take a look at the picket defense and change the parameters under which it’s deployed.

10) Monday night football crew

I want to give these guys a fair shake and I tried to give them a fair shake, but it’s just not a good broadcast.

First of all, it took us a total of three minutes to get a booing Santa Claus reference from Jason Witten, who still sounds clunky on the broadcast. He’s got a lot of great football knowledge, but I don’t feel like he’s applying it in the best way.

The producers should be keeping it simple with him:

“Jason, just tell me what you see on the field. Tell me what formation that is. Tell me what coverage the defense is playing.”

Things like that, you know? Tony Romo did a nice job with Xs and Os when he began broadcasting, I think the only thing that bothered fans with him was that he tried to be Nostradamus and predict what every play was going to be. Witten has a lot of good stuff locked away in his head, I just feel like it doesn’t come out in a fluid way, if that makes sense.

Beyond that, the second half discussion about Reuben Foster was horrifying and totally out of place. It felt forced and fake, like a public service announcement lacking any kind of sincerity.

First of all, they were talking about this topic in the middle of an interception return, which was ridiculous. Second, you can’t talk about domestic violence without a female voice, right? How can you have a meaningful discussion on domestic violence when the two voices are Booger McFarland and Jason Witten? Third, the placement was poor from a production standpoint. When you have a nuanced and delicate issue like that, you need at least five or six minutes in a proper setting to discuss it. Do it during halftime or before the game. That allows you to give it the requisite attention while not disrupting the game.

Finally, and this doesn’t have anything to do with ESPN, but what the hell was Howard Eskin wearing last night?

Yep. Golden Tate was right. He does look like a banana pudding

pic.twitter.com/ZK9iD7slfl

— Cindy Webster (@CindyWeb94) December 4, 2018

Time’s yours.

The post Get Excited! – Ten Takeaways from Eagles 28, Redskins 13 appeared first on Crossing Broad.

Get Excited! – Ten Takeaways from Eagles 28, Redskins 13 published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/

[thoughtsofprocrastinator]

Feel Like I Just Need to Vent...

I just want to get shit off my chest. My stress levels are super high with everything going on and I need to just feel like I need to do this before I start to go mad and cry. The past few months have been hell. Aside from work issues, home has become a thing where I forget to breathe at points and I don't realize it until I inhale and sigh so deeply. It's been getting hard. Mom's been doing her best with the bills that keep coming in. I feel like there is more to it that she won't tell me and I hear some things when she alks to people about 7 grand here and 5 grand here...not to mention the natural bills with the hospital and medical bills for my dad's cancer treatments and RECENTLY, hospital bills. When my dad had his first minor stroke....it was one of the most scariest things of my life. I cried so hard and I wish the medical department can do whatever they could to help him. The only reason he even had the stroke was that the pain management he had AT THE TIME was not giving him the needed help and said it was all BS that he had cancer and it was all just for rec use. Even our Cancer treatment doctor was appauld at the lack of treatment he was getting to help the EXCRUCIATING PAIN he has at this point. The tumor has connected to his nerves and is wrapped around his voice box so he also sounds really bad....and with me being half deaf, it is REALLY hard to hear him at points. We tell him it's laringitis(sp?) so he doesn't feel like he should give up. It took a week and a few days to overcome the effects of the stroke and he knew who everyone was and the year and he slowly became okay after he got the needecd medication to help his pain and whatnot. The second time he got a stroke was just as bad. Again, he couldn't function, eat, talk, know who people are and it was hard. However this time, mom wanted him at home since the last time the hospital was really doing much for him and she felt that they won't do any good. I wanted him there, but hey...that's how the medical place is anymore I guess...I can't count the amount of breakdowns I had that weekend. It was the weekend of my nephews birthday and everyone from the family near us came and we had a small dinner. I still feel so annoyed that nothing could be done to help him. Again, all this because his body gets stressed to the point where it just happens. And Again, it was because of that pain management team in which my mom and sister agreed to fire. It was just....bad. I played Metroid games to pass the time and to stop thinking too much into the weekend...but...it didn't help. I was stressed out, scared because I didn't know how to handle this or what to do and I was so mad that he wasn't being taken care of properly. It just hurts... Now, this Easter holiday weekend, he got another stroke. Me and mom were at home and he was in the bath. He apparently got it in the bathtub because we heard the water turning on and off. Then we officially knew he had one was when he was walking around in the house lost and looking for clothes. He had the one side of his face droop and his eye on the other side super dilated. It was...sad to see. I did cry once this weekend when I seen him try to eat when mom put him in front of me. I just noticed how he looked and how he tried to use a fork and he couldn't. It was a bit too much. I'm super sensitive to this stuff and I know crying won't fix what has been done, but it was all I could do. and again....his body was stressed because at this point, his insurance company will not pay for his medicine that he needs to help him to NOT have this happen. Go figure. YAY AMERICA, RIGHT? He still isn't himself tonight. He knows who people are, but he just talks randomly and half the stuff he isn't making sense. He still sits in the bathroom for 2 hours like he was doing the last few times he had a stroke...for no reason. It's just scary to see someone that was super okay the one moment and like this the next. It's horrifying to think about him being by himself in case he tries to go downstairs or something and falls or something. I worry too much, but it is for good reason. At this point, I'm sick of the medical industry and the medical unsurance industry. They are all horrible. Watching this train wreck in slow motion is torture and I feel like they know how to treat it, but they just don't want to. I remember of a teen girl in the news years ago about having found a step towards curing cancer and got scholarships and checks and everything. I feel like I should find that article and hunt down where that young girl is today. At this point, I am to think it's all a scheme. It pisses me off and I just feel that they aren't doing their job to handle these patients. Hearing these Survivor stories and the struggles of their daily lives...makes me want to hear how they handled getting treatments and the medication they needed to deal with it all because I could sure use tips and tricks to dealing with these asshole doctors and insurance people. It's all Bullshit. I feel like they should be sued for not giving him the medicine and thus the stroke....but it can't be proven. I overheard a conversation my mom had with her sister today too. My dad had to do Radiation for almost two weeks after the lack of chemo he was getting due to the strokes he had. I thought it was going to help him, but according to mom, the doctor himself was disapointed that the radiation did nothing to the cancer. I feel defeated and I just feel like crying atm. It's getting heavier and heavier to deal with what's going on and I just wish things were back to the way it was what feels like forever ago....i miss it alot. I know it can't. All this is doing to me is not having confidence in the whole medical industry and I am a bit powerless to help with anything. I'm sure mom cries way more than me about all this, but, she's stronger than I am. I'm way too sensitive and all I know how to do is just cry and be scared. The one thing I wish from all this is to have something that will help bring my dad back and to have my mom be happy. This was all to get the shit off my chest. All this is my opinion on things and what is going on in my life currently. I'm doing my best not to be a fuck-up and a crybaby...even if the negative of this is that I'm playing games to calm my mind and relax me. I know its bad..but, I just feel like its needed before I have to start screaming at people and bawl my eyes out to get them what I need. Some points I wish I was a doctor..but I wouldn't be a good one. I'm not good with blood and seeing people injjured. I would feel and get sick all the time. I'm not really religious either...but at this point, I might just pray to any gods to help me relieve the stress from my family and to have my dad back and be one of the many survivors of this cancer. That's...about it. Sorry for the lengthy shit, but it made me feel a bit better. I had to do this. Sorry for people who read it and thanks too...for putting up with my whiny shit. I appreciate it.

[hyyhyuka]

“You can cry if you need to, I’m right here. You’re safe with me.” for Qrowin if you take promts as well

Aaaah thanks!

Going up the hill on the wheelchair was easier than he thought, but in general, as hard as he expected. In the end, pushing his weight all the way up only with his arms was something he had done on a regular basis in the past; still did.

Just not that way. Wheels also didn’t help him a lot.

Winter looked golden against the rays of the setting sun; while her hair and skin reflected the light, her black dress absorbed it, and the contrast gave her such an unique, ethereal look somehow. Her right arm and leg, however, had a more opaque reflex. Effect of the fake skin.

He gave himself the time to admire her while letting the soldier have her privacy. After all, she was there to mourn, and he had no right to disturb her in such a delicate moment. He liked being alone when mourning, and it was just fair that he did the same to her.

It didn’t take long before she called him.

“I know you’re there, Qrow.” Winter didn’t turn to face him, though. Her voice failed a bit and her hair was styled and all thrown over her right shoulder… Probably she couldn’t stand to stare at the burn scars while applying make-up.

Bad day, then? Well.

“I guess the wheelchair isn’t all that silent.” Qrow pushed his way towards the woman, not caring about discretion anymore. He did, however, stop within respectable distance. “How did you know?”

“It wasn’t even the wheelchair. You were panting.” Then she turned to him, a soft smile on her lips. Even the simple motion of turning around was a show when she did it. “Is it because you’re getting older?”

“Ha! I can still knock you down on a fight.” Their banter had become much tamer since the war. Something about fighting for their lives and everyone else’s brought them closer again. “How are you feeling?” Winter turned back to the grave in front of her. Looking down, he realized it was her father’s.

“It’s one of those days…” The wind blew forward some leaves from the nearby trees; it was fall. Everything was golden and calming; except her troubled eyes. She wouldn’t say another word, but Qrow didn’t need it. He knew where her gaze fell.

The man had died on a direct raid at SDC, with the intent to steal the Dust and tear down the building. He knew about the incident, found out later that Winter was sent to defend the company, but only saw her weeks later, so he had no chance to talk to her about how she felt, and she wouldn’t want to, anyway. They were in a war. Negative emotions were much triggering back then.

Jacques Schnee was a son of a bitch, and how Winter could possibly miss him was something beyond his comprehension. While he wanted to ask, anyone would know better.

So the professor stretched his hand to her, looking as the gloved fingers intertwined with his. It was better like that; no words, just their presence. If she wished to tell him how she felt, or to speak at all, she would do it without him asking.

And she did.

“Thought you were going to judge me for mourning my father.” That was just slightly offensive.

“Ouch. Even I have decency.” She breathed out a laughter. “Do you really want me to speak my mind about it?”

“You don’t have to, Qrow. I know you can’t understand.” She then sat by his side, crossing her legs under her. And kept holding his hand. “If you can hold your hatred for my father, I’ll tell you something.”

“I’m listening.”

Her hold onto his fingers was soft.

“I was an only child for almost 11 years. And, you believe it or not, he was a kind man in the beginning. He brought me gifts almost each month, we played together on my room, he would let me be on his office and rock me to sleep on his arms while reading the company’s profits… I loved him dearly.” Her grip started to tighten gradually. “Even when the accusations started to come, he tried to avoid bringing his anger home, just so my mom and I would still see a smile on his face when he came back.”

Qrow couldn’t believe what he heard, neither picture a toddler Winter on that man’s arms, sleeping. He remained silent, both because he had no idea of what to say and because he was genuinely interested.

“Then the White Fang attacked us. And then again, and again, and again. All the damage, the lost Dust, and the problems with other businessmen who wished to avoid him in order to remain away from the Fang’s wrath... It piled up, and it became worse, and suddenly we had reached the point where he couldn’t keep his anger at the office anymore. Once he almost hit my mother in the face. Once he broke a glass and a shard cut my face. After months, he stopped apologizing.” Her breathing became a bit shallow, and he squeezed her hand tighter. “I watched my father rot and I couldn’t help him.”

“And then... I decided to become a Huntress.” Her sigh failed. “The attacks made me afraid. I wanted to protect myself and my family. And, even before, I liked more training with my mother than analyzing the company’s negotiations my father made. So I told him I didn’t want to be a Heiress, but a Huntress instead. He didn’t like it one bit. Told me he had a plan for my future and it did not include leaving the family’s company. I was a prepubescent girl, you can deduce what happened.”

Winter pushed herself back to her feet. For the first time, she felt... True. She wasn’t forcing her spine into a pristine, soldier of steel position, her face wasn’t a blank mask, there was dirt on her legs and her hand was still there. On his own. Warm and soft, but strong.

“My siblings were just born then. I lived two years on that house before I left for Titan Academy, and I had to endure watching my father give them attention and treat me like a stranger. But even then, he was cold. My siblings never met the loving father I had, at least, not completely, not without seconds intentions. And when I left, I told him I hated him. I really did, back then.” Her sighs and lip biting were a signal that she was losing it. “I lived almost 27 years yearning for that father I have lost, and asking myself if he ever really loved me!...”

“Winter-” Their contact broke suddenly, and she stomped her way to the edge of the Memorial Cliff. She was crying; her pitched sighs and cries broke his heart and brought her pain to him. She made a smart, bitchy move, though - the passage between the graves sometimes got too narrow for him to follow her on the wheelchair.

“Why do you think I always aimed for perfection? Because part of me wanted him to look at me and realize I had made it! I was free!” Winter was breaking like a glass someone was pressing down very slowly. And, suddenly, shards flew all around. “I never had any regrets concerning my choices! But I regret not being able to save him with every fiber of my being, no matter that I know I couldn’t! I just do!”

“Winter!” The slam of his hands into the chair’s arms was nothing to stop her. It was a dull sound under the ocean they were under. It hurt. More than when he got hit or lost his Aura, more than when he got poisoned, more than the effects of the poison, more than the realization he couldn’t walk anymore (not without Dust).

“I went to the SDC even before the raid began, because the General knew it would happen sooner or later. It was the first time I looked into my father’s eyes for years. And he told me he was sorry. He told me he was sorry for pushing me away! Told me he was proud of what I did, proud of me! He told me he loved me, Qrow! I was so happy!”

The professor didn’t even know he was crying too until he felt a little tap on his chest, a tear. Followed by its peers, they blurred his vision and forced him to blink and shed more tears just to focus on her image. She couldn’t go on anymore, she didn’t have to; he knew what happened after. He saw the scars. He saw her prosthetics. But she still did. Emotions, once let free, couldn’t be subdued again.

She turned around, facing the horizon just so he wouldn’t see her cry anymore, and her ex-nemesis pushed himself up, testing his legs. They held on fine. He might still had a bit of Dust inside the metal vertebra replacement; he could make it to her, but once he arrived there, she’d probably have to carry him. That didn’t matter at the moment. He had to do it.

“I watched my father die! I promised him we would make amends after the war, but he died because of me! If he’s on that grave, I’m the one to blame!”

The strength left him with each step, but he did make it with just enough to stand. He pulled her to his arms and whispered on her ear, “You can cry if you need to, I’m right here. You’re safe with me. It was never your fault. You did all you could and I’m sure he knows it and he’s still proud of you.” And she did.

She cried and he cried until night fell. He held her for comfort and she held him when his legs gave up. They hugged and adjusted themselves to each other just to feel their heartbeat on their own body. Once the ocean of emotions drained away, once their soul found peace again, she carried him patiently back to his wheelchair and he gave her a handkerchief to wipe away the makeup that could not withstand the water and the rubbing against his suit.

They didn’t call each other “girlfriend” or “boyfriend”, because it wasn’t an official thing yet; but it was pretty much what they were.

“I’m sorry.” She looked up at him. “I said a lot of shit about your father without knowing those things.” Her smile was so frail, he felt like pulling her into his lap and hugging her to protect it from the world with his own body.

“It’s fine. The man you knew as Jacques Schnee was a bastard, so you weren’t wrong.” The cloth was folded again and again on her fingers. “What I want to know is how much of his love was genuine. Guess I’ll never know, huh?”

“One day, maybe.” Once more, he took her right hand, feeling the hardness of the metal underneath the fake skin, admiring how good that piece was. Sturdy, fast-working and realistic look. “But you’ll have the General for that matter. You’re pretty much his surrogate child anyway.” No answer but a bit of sincerity into her lips. “And you’ll have me. I’ll love you like none of them ever could. How does that sound?”

Then her smile shone, and the moon was merely reflecting her beauty. Her lips felt too soft and delicate against his, like velvet and rose petals, and she grabbed the push handles of his chair as they made their way back. She was close enough for him to lean his head against her.

The would could be broken, but they made it whole enough for each other.

“That sounds amazing.”

[fourlittletesters]

Tested: Bad Dream Brigade

#Developer: Holy Cow Productions

#Website: http://holycowprod.com/

#Purchase:

IOS: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/bad-dream-brigade/id1153968838?mt=8

Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.Holycow.BDB

#Version: 1.0.4

#Cost: Free with in-app purchase $1.99 

Please note that we received a donation to review this released app.

#Support: Requires iOS 8.0 or later. Compatible with iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch. Compatible with iPhone, iPad, iPod touch and Android

#Size: 351Mb

#Screenshots:

#Developers Description

The Bad Dream Brigade are a new night-time emergency service! They are a group of funny, friendly monsters that are always on call to save children from their bad dreams and bedtime fears.

If you've ever had a bad dream, or even just get a little bit scared at bedtime, the Bad Dream Brigade are here to help!

The Bad Dream Brigade iPhone & iPad app contains a lot of entertaining content for children including activities, mini games and interactive stories. The app is targeted  for little ones between 3 - 7 but older kids will also love the fantastic art and stories.

Renowned children’s book author & illustrator Jo Litchfield brings you a series of stories about funny, friendly monsters and their rescue missions. Jo has written and illustrated lots of children's books but is perhaps best known for ‘Everyday Words’, which sold over a million copies within its first 18 months of publication and has been translated into over 35 languages worldwide.

Holy Cow Productions is reimagining Jo’s beautiful traditional hand drawn art & illustrations into the digital media. In addition to the interactive stories, we have created Activities and Mini Games for children to explore the world of the Bad Dream Brigade.

The Bad Dream Brigade are called into action for the first time in Stanley's Story, when Stanley starts to have a bad dream after reading a scary comic at bedtime. With music and fun they help to remind Stanley that it's just a dream, they show him that the scary things aren't so scary after all and help turn his bad dream into an unforgettable night time adventure. Your child can relate to Stanley and get rid of his night time fears! Stanley’s Story is available as an in-app purchase.

Activities: The activities give kids an opportunity to interact with the monsters and their instruments. Music Time is the first of many to come where your kid can become the band leader of the Bad Dream Brigade Orchestra!

Mini Games: Does your child love playing games? Why not let them play with the monsters and test their memory skills in Stanley Says or better their reflexes with a fast paced Bug Hunt game.

Stories: Our stories are original and contain traditional hand drawn art. The interactive stories are complete with professional voice overs, background scores, sound effects and animations

#The Review

Bad Dream Brigade is a great looking vibrant app, which comes with a free short story Introducing Stanley, a scared little boy who struggles to sleep at night due to nightmares. That is, until he falls down a hole and accidentally summons the Bad Dream Brigade, that come straight to the rescue and show him that the things in his dreams aren’t so bad.

The band really made the book, we had not heard of the story before, and so would love to have known more about the monsters including all their names, they would occasionally flash on load screens, but would go so quickly. Having the Author narrate the story works really well, and we really like the animations, as they had a cute ‘stop motion’ feel like 80′s cartoons. It was great that the mini-games were linked to core parts of the story.

#The Test

Poppy was super excited about reading the Stanley’s story, as she had sneaked a peak ‘pre-testing’ at the story introducing the Bad Dream brigade, however she had to wait for daddy to make the in-app purchase.

Poppy found the story books very easy to access, navigate and with both narration and highlights, she just sat back and enjoyed. The voice of the narrator was great, and the story was complemented with very good quality sound effects. 

Poppy enjoyed the cute looking monsters, delightful music, the funny sound effects and the great illustrations, she especially liked the alarm that went off and that Stanley fell into the tuba. I think the story was memorable for Poppy, and she couldn’t wait to share it with her bestie, the next time they met.

She didn’t like the bad bear, but was happy when the bears faced changed to a big smile. Poppy especially liked when all of the troop, the bear and the snake were dancing at the end. 

The storybook app comes with three great min-games, which Poppy loved.

Poppy first played ‘Stanley says’ and was able to watch the tutorial and understood what she needed to do Based upon ‘Simon says’ she had to copy the sequence of band members playing in the correct order. On her first attempt she got to level 11, and there were lots of smiles in the process. Second attempt she said I'm gonna lose this time, but no she made it to level 12, said ‘this is getting trickier’ and yep she failed at level 13.

Music time was next, and she said ‘Yay! I get to make more music’. Poppy had a good play with all the instruments, which were all freestyle, but then oddly she got stuck said ‘how do I get out?’ I had to show her how to get back to the main menu.

Next was Bug hunt, she said 'oh' as she heard the instructions, she had to move the monster with his instrument to catch all the falling bugs from the forest, and scored points for each one caught, or lost a life if she missed one. She did great, she scored 430 on her first life, final score was 1000, got to bonus, which got her very excited, I laughed as she said ‘woah woah woah’ as it got faster and faster. Her all time best score was 1340!! a top bug catcha! 

Poppy gave the app a 4/5 finger score and thought that it would be good twist if instead of a forest, they might get stuck in a cave, and when they got out of the cave there were butterflies and rainbows at the party.

#The Verdict

Bad Dream Brigade was a RIOT! Amazing illustrations and great musical games. thoroughly recommend to anyone who is scared of the dark shadows and night noises in their room.

#The Rating

Overall: 5/5

Look & Feel: 5/5 - Amazing artwork, realistic sound effects and groovy tunes

Enjoyment: 5/5 - Poppy enjoyed both stories, and was pleased with the happy ending, who doesn't love dancing animals and balloons.

Playability: 4/5 - Navigation is good, just misses an auto-narration feature.

Value for Money: 5/5 - With a free short story and free games, you get a lot of value before you part with any cash.