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#trying to get out of my art block i actually like this piece
koolaidaddictedkid · 9 months
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one of konohas backbones
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thethingything · 5 months
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we have an especially bad migraine where I noticed us getting aura (mostly being pissed off and upset in a specific way) for several hours before it started and we've taken pain meds but I'm not sure they've actually helped. they have definitely given us side effects though and I feel very spaced out and nauseous and generally shit.
we've also had way worse ADHD symptoms for the last few days to the point of being pretty much unable to focus on anything besides like 2 things we've hyperfixated on. we've had so much trouble starting tasks and keep struggling to hold a train of thought or focus long enough to even figure out what we need to do each day despite having all our Habitica dailies to tell us.
our brain is all over the place and I'm not really sure what to do with it or what would help but it's just occurred to me that sometimes our ADHD gets really bad in the buildup to some of our worst migraines and now I'm just hoping that both the migraine and other shit ease off soon because I'd like to be able to function
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#posts made on pain meds#I've spent like 6 hours drawing today because we fixated on one piece of art that I originally started as a joke#but I probably had other tasks to do and I don't know what any of them were and I tried very hard to at least make a list or something#but just could not hold a coherent train of thought and got really overwhelmed every time I tried to think of stuff I needed to do#so I gave up after a while because I realised my options were to keep trying and failing and just get upset and start dissociating#and end up doing absolutely nothing while feeling really bad#or just go ahead and draw for as long as I can handle because our brain's fixated on it and at least I'd be doing something#and it's also nice to actually be able to work on art for any length of time after having such bad art block so far this year#oh I did also shower shortly after we woke up which was our main big task of the day I think so that's something to be proud of#our tourette's has been bad and that made it surprisingly difficult and it was kind of stressful and exhausting but we did it#it's also just occurred to me that our tourette's and ADHD and a few other issues have all flared up together#followed by a particularly bad migraine which is a pattern we keep noticing and first noticed back in December#and all these issues are known to involve dopamine but I can't figure out what exactly is going on#when it happens we also start getting sensory overload way more easily
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touyatodorokigf · 2 years
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I miss drawing so bad
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bare1ythere · 2 years
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Break starts and I IMMEDIATELY fall into art block
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seuonji · 11 months
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彡 living with you.
notes ๑ scenarios of things that occurred when you started living with your svt bf!
genre ๑ fluff
warnings ๑ none but in seokmin’s one it’s hinted the reader wears makeup!!
word count ๑ 1k
from aya: please reblog if you enjoyed! feedback is always appreciated<3
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waking up early with seungcheol/soonyoung/jihoon and going grocery shopping!!
seungcheol has a hard time saying no when you want to buy unrelated items like house decoration or a grill— you always end up buying too much and struggle to carry the items back home.
you’re the one who has to control soonyoung when it comes to buying stuff but like wdym he can’t buy the tiger themed cooking set? fortunately, he’s great at remembering a ‘things to buy’ list but what comes with that is a tornado that wants to buy a bicycle along the way.
jihoon would ask you “are you sure you need it.” or “what are you going to use it for.” you end up leaving the store with what you actually need. but he might slip in a tub of ice cream or a pack of candy you like when you reach the counter.
+
jeonghan pulling you back to bed whenever you move after waking up. it’s a pain when you have to pee cause he will not let go.
“it’s so early, why are you already leaving?”
he loves nuzzling his face into your neck but if you don’t enjoy that you’re just gonna have to kick him in the shins to push him away ʅ(◞_◟)ʃ.
+
joshua loves going out but when he moved in with you, his outing time decreased sufficiently. he loves laying on the couch with you as you two turn off your brains and talk about random stuff while your mixed playlist plays in the background.
+
for some reason, you always walk in on jun in the middle of doing a silly dance. he will not hesitate to drag you to dance with him.
on a cuter note, when he’s free he definitely surprises you with breakfast in bed. he takes note of things you’re craving and serves it to you without fail.
+
wonwoo placed another chair beside his gaming chair. it’s there so that you can sit beside him while he’s gaming.
i mean, you usually sit on his lap but sometimes he jumps in the middle of playing when he gets frustrated at the game… so he had to implement the second chair—
+
seokmin loves joining you while you get ready to go out. he just sits beside you and plays with your hair but if you ask him to dry or brush your hair, he’ll do it. might even help you organise you stuff so that it doesn’t hassle you when you get back home.
+
mingyu heard your stomach rumble late at night. he laughed about it and you got offended, making it clear by facing your back towards him.
“i’m sorry yn!” he said between laughs as he pulled you towards him.
“shut up, go sleep.”
“come let me cook you a meal, what do you want?”
turns into a night of you sitting on the counter while mingyu’s at the stove cooking the meal you requested. he’d wear an apron even if it was 4 in the morning.
+
minghao, you let him use the spare room for his art but it sort of turned into your healing room. you two just stay there, no electronics, no phones, not much except for art supplies on the floor and a small stool. minghao often sits as you lay your head on his lap but you two switch of course. on the days he had art block, with consent, he’d paint on your skin to try and get some ideas.
“ooh i like that one!” you beamed as you took a peek to your arm that minghao was painting on.
“really? guess i found my next piece.”
+
getting noise complaints with seungkwan/chan after you two argued over who could get a score of 100% on karaoke.
also i feel like he’s type to tackle you when he hugs you so there’s so many loud thuds and every time that happens—
bottom line y’all loud as hell.
but on another note about the hugs, he def always tackles you onto the bed whenever you come back home from work or an outing or just after you shower!!
+
breakfast at the balcony with vernon!
there on the balcony, you both have either really deep conversations or the most pointless conversations to exist. if your neighbours could hear you, they’d be concerned cause your topics really go from “do i deserve to exist?” to “i think i could be president and it would go well.”
you two could start a podcast, it will succeed. or that’s just what vernon likes to believe.
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sunburnhurts · 1 month
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Artist || Fred Weasley x fem!Reader
Summary: Fred finds himself in the same classroom as Y/n, they soon bond over Y/n's art piece.
Words: 2,259
All My Stories
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Sitting on a stool, Y/n leans in to get a better view of her canvas. Something about it looks wrong to her, she couldn't tell what. She attempted to paint the view from where she was sitting. She looked out the window at what she was trying to recreate, then back at her canvas. Sighing, she leans back rubbing her eyes in frustration.
She then hears the door to the empty classroom she was in open. Turning her head to the noise, she sees a tall red head shut the doors quickly behind him. Unsure what the sudden commotion is, Y/n stayed in her seat which was located in the far corner of the classroom. She quickly identified the boy as one of the Weasley twins, she just couldn't tell which one from where she was sitting.
She watches as the boy looks around the classroom, his eyes landing on her. He was a bit out of breath from running, he stood with his back to the door as he caught his breath. After a few moments of them staring at each other, Y/n looks away, back out the window.
Letting his curiousness control him, he walks over to the girl, taking a peek at her art. Y/n looks back at the twin, now close enough to identify that it is Fred. "This is bloody brilliant!" He says, leaning into the painting with his hands behind his back.
"Thank you," Y/n says a bit shyly. Y/n never talked to either of the twins before even though they are all in the same year, they are also all Gryffindors. She wasn't like them, energetic and friendly with everyone she met. Yes, she was nice to everyone she met, but it takes more time for her to be able to befriend the person.
If anything, she hated people that would befriend anyone and anything, she found the behavior fake. She needed a reason to be friends with someone, needed a special connection. She felt as if a friendship wasn't special if you act the same with everyone else. So at first, she was a bit hesitant to befriend a Weasley. Sure, she found him a bit cute, but that didn't mean anything if they didn't know each other.
Y/n watches as Fred looks at her, saying, "What are you painting?" She leans away from the window so he can see the view. He looks out, his eyebrows raised in surprise to how similar the view and the painting are. "That's seriously incredible, I didn't know you painted!"
"You don't know a lot of things about me," Y/n slightly jokes, but she really did know he knew nothing about her.
"That's not true, I know you're really quiet and smart." Fred says, looking down at the seated girl.
"And how do you know that?" Y/n looks up, slightly smiling.
Fred smiles, going back to observing the painting. "We are in a lot of the same classes, didn't think I noticed you?" He asks.
"Honestly, no." Y/n laughs, wondering why he would have noticed her when he spends all class joking around with other people.
"Well I have, for a while actually." He says, turning back to the girl. Suddenly, hurried footsteps are heard outside the classroom door. Fred hears this and hides next to a bookshelf that is blocking him from the view of the door.
Y/n looks over, seeing a Professor Snape burst into the room. He looks around the room, then spots Y/n. "Ms. Y/l/n, have you seen George or Fred Weasley?" He says in his low voice. It was obvious Fred has done something wrong, and obviously to the wrong person. The last person you should mess with is Snape, the consequences would be essay after essay.
"No, Professor Snape." Y/n responds, saving Fred.
"Very well," Snape responds, his eyes flickering from the painting back to her, nodding and exiting the room. Y/n looks over at Fred once Snape fully closed the door.
"Thanks for saving me, Y/n." Fred says, stepping away from the bookshelf, walking back to Y/n.
"So what did you do for Snape to be looking for you?" Y/n asks.
"Me and Geroge pulled a prank, we switched some of the potions around. We wanted one of our classmates to be the ones with the switched potions, but of course Snape had to use them." Y/n smiles, trying to imagine what kind of explosion happened to Snape.
"You can't hide forever, you know."
"Yeah, I know." Fred laughs. Y/n laughs back, then turns her attention back to her painting, still trying to figure out what was wrong with it. "You're not finished?"
"No, I can't figure out what's wrong with it, it looks empty." Fred looks at her confused, genuinely thinking the painting is perfect.
"Maybe it needs people?" Fred suggests.
"You're right!" Y/n exclaims. "I don't know why I didn't think of that!" Fred smiles, crossing his arms as he watches the girl in front of him turn to look at him. He raises his eyebrows, interested in what shes going to say. "Want to add someone?"
Surprised, Fred shakes his head. "No, I wouldn't want to ruin it."
Y/n laughs, getting up from the stool. "No, please, if its really bad I can paint over it." Fred gives in, sitting down and picking up the paint brush. Y/n stands behind him, watching as he nervously picked up orange paint with the brush. "Never would I thought Fred Weasley would be nervous to paint something." She laughs.
Huffing a laugh, he says, "I don't want to mess it up too bad!" Y/n laughs again, placing her hand on his shoulder for comfort.
"Don't worry! Seriously!" Fred slightly smiles as he feels her hand on him. She watches as he paints himself under one of the trees, it honestly looked like a crazy 5 year old painted it. But she didn't mind, she thought it looked special, no other professional painting has a messy painting of Fred in it.
"Done." He says, turning his head up to Y/n. Y/n looks down from the painting, meeting his eyes. Laughing as he smiles, he says, "What? Scared I'm going to steal your talent, Y/n?"
"Terrified!" Y/n chuckles, looking back at the painting. "You should paint me now," She suggests, not really wanting the moment to end. Fred nods, not wanting the moment to end either, the feeling of her hand still on his shoulder felt special. He then turns back and starts painting Y/n.
He starts drawing the body, making her the same size as him. "So I'm the same height as you?" Y/n teases.
"I never said I was good with proportions." Fred smiles. Once he finished he said, "What a beautiful girl!"
"I can't tell if that even is a girl!" Y/n laughs, making Fred look up at her with a playful frown.
"Sorry I'm not as talented at art as you are!" He exclaims.
"You'll get there," Y/n pats his shoulder, then removed her hand from him.
Hiding his disappointment of her removing her hand, he asks, "Do you have other paintings you've done?" Y/n nods, walking over to a wardrobe in the room. As she opens it, many finished art works, unfinished paintings, and empty canvases were revealed. "Wow, and they let you keep everything in here?" Fred asks as he picks up one of the paintings.
"Yeah, one of the Professors let me use this classroom. Said to just be prepared to pack up in case the room was needed."
Fred nods, observing the art works. He then stopped, turning to her with a serious face. "You really are talented, Y/n."
Y/n studies his face, seeing he really means what he says. "Thank you, Fred." She smiles. Yeah, she's used to a few people telling her she is good at art, but it was different coming from Fred.
Suddenly, Fred's eyes widen. "Shit," He mutters, "I have to get to Quidditch practice!" He places the art back where he picked them up from. "So you're in this classroom everyday after classes?" He asks, walking towards the door.
"Yeah," Y/n calls out.
Fred turns around before he exits the room, he nods and makes a mental note so he can find you after school. "Goodbye, Y/n."
"Goodbye, Fred." She smiles, watching him leave.
~~~~
The next day, Y/n and Fred weren't able to talk in classes, there was never an opportunity to. So Y/n is sitting in the same empty classroom, sitting in the same stool, staring at an empty canvas. She tapped her fingers against her forehead as she tried thinking of what to draw.
She then turns her head as she hears the doors open, the same tall twin walked into the room with a smile on his face. "How did I know I would find you here?" He asks, walking over to Y/n.
"I wonder," She jokes.
"So, what will be the next art piece?" He asks, stopping next to her.
"That's what I'm trying to figure out." She sighs, looking back at the canvas.
"How about this," He starts, "You paint me and I'll paint you. I'll actually try this time, I promise."
Looking back up at him, she smiles. "Okay." She gets up, grabbing another canvas for him. They get situated, both facing each other and unable to see each others work.
As they worked, they got to know each other more. Fred did most of the talking, but she didn't mind, she liked listening to him ramble about little things. She got to know what he was planning on doing outside of Hogwarts, start a joke shop with his brother.
"I better get a discount in this store." Y/n jokes, adding details to the painting.
"Bold of you to assume you are allowed to even enter my store!" Fred says, looking up at the girl to see how her hair lays.
"Excuse me!" Y/n exclaims, looking up at him with her mouth opened in a dramatic way.
"I'm only kidding!" He says, looking back down and adding strokes of hair to the art. "You're allowed in there at least once,"
Y/n scoffs, playfully rolling her eyes at him. She enjoyed the playful banter, it was more fun with Fred than most of the people at Hogwarts. "Are you almost done?" She asks, finishing the painting.
"Hmm," He says, looking back up at her, staring for a bit too long, then looking down. Y/n noticed the lingering look, hiding her smile as she catches him slightly blushing. "Uh- yeah I'm done." She fully smiles, laughing lightly. "What?" Fred asks, looking up at her.
"Nothing." Y/n says, ready to show him the painting. "Let me see yours first.
Fred nods, pausing dramatically. He then quickly turns it around, revealing an okay painting of her. It was much better then the previous day, more detailed. "Wow, she's pretty," She jokes, reaching out for the painting.
"I know." He mutters, watching as she studies his work. He smiles seeing her grin. She then places the painting down, picking up the painting of him, showing him. His face brightens up even more seeing him as a painting. "That's how you see me? I'm surprised you're not in love with me. What a handsome lad!"
Y/n laughs, handing him the painting, then picking the art of her back up. "You might really steal my talent, Fred!" Y/n jokes. "I might have to hang this in my room!"
"You better! I spent my precious time on that!" Fred exclaims. Smiling, Y/n looks around the room, noticing it is now dark outside. Fred notices too, then looks back at Y/n. "Hope I didn't keep you here," Fred says, feeling a bit bad for using up so much of her time.
"You didn't, I enjoyed our time together." She smiles, getting up. "We better get back before it's past curfew." Fred nods, getting up as well. They both had each other's art in their hands as they walked to the common room, chatting about random things.
"Why do you spend breakfast alone?" Fred randomly asks. Y/n looks at him confused, wondering when he noticed this. "Again, you really think I don't notice you, Y/n?"
"No, you are always so busy with everyone." Y/n says, still looking at him as they continue to walk.
"I'm never busy for you," He says with a playful tone, smiling down at her. Y/n feels her heart beat quicken a bit, the corners of her mouth lifting as she looks ahead of her.
"To answer your question, I guess no one invites me to sit with them, so I don't want to intrude. I don't really mind it."
"You can sit with me, you know? I'm sure- no, I know George would love to get to know you." Looking back up at him, she smiles.
"Okay, I'll sit with you tomorrow then."
"Good," Fred grins, noticing they arrived at the fat lady painting. They enter the almost empty common room then walk up the stairs together. "Good night, Y/n, see you at breakfast." Fred says, watching Y/n turn to him.
"Good night, Fred." Y/n says, turning back around and entering the girls section of the dorms.
The End
A/n: I might add more onto this, I'm not sure though, but I really like this! I think it's so cute. Thank you all for the support I have been getting! I love you all so much!!
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cdlum · 9 months
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I just wanted to say I think your art style is awesome! I was wondering if you had any tutorials on how you draw anatomy in your style (hips and legs especially)? Sorry if there's already one posted and I just didn't see it 🥲. Happy New Year :>
thanks for the kind words. i tend to draw people pretty stylized and then some so a good bit of artistic licence gets used. these tips are just what i use so feel free to take them with a grain of salt. with anatomy in particular you can kind of talk in circles because human/animal bodies are that complex so ill just zone in on the points you specified. here's a little image with a bunch of pointers:
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the above image condenses a lot of the points I'd make, but basically the key parts are to start with the bare essentials and build up that complexity. using a line of action is a good way to get a quick, rough start. you draw a line out in the general direction of the pose and do your best to adhere to it to give the pose a sense of flow.
you can also draw smaller, thumbnail versions that throw a lot of caution to the wind but capture the basic energy of what you're going for. even having a tiny little stick figure version of your idea can make for a good guideline of where to take it forward.
when it comes to actual limbs, you wanna consider how they integrate and work together, kind of like how chains do. you can see on some of the parts of pear i've drawn out these wireframes to kind of portray how the mass of her legs works in a three dimensional space. for aspects like the waist/hips, i use that X technique i highlight above a lot, particularly for the lower torso. a lot of the times, even when drawing a character totally naked, imagining them wearing things like skintight underwear can help a lot to guide you in the right direction.
its also a good idea to consider things like gravity and weight to a degree. humans are essentially big meat sacks and gravity is always pulling down on that, but theres all kinds of aspects that effect that, such as character build or clothing. pear technically isn't naked in this, but i've tried to imagine her as such and take that into account.
if you are drawing digitally, don't be afraid to take advantage of the convenience you get with that workflow. you can retry and iterate on things a lot faster that pen and paper, and do things that aren't really feasible at all when it comes to editing and modifying your existing work. things like resizing certain bodyparts, instantly flipping the canvas, or using selection tools to completely adjust the positions of parts of your drawing. to give you an example heres a timelapse with all the little edits i made just to this demo drawing:
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you don't have to use these techniques linearly, either. sometimes ill have a really solid idea for a piece in my head, and go back to basics with certain elements if they’re not coming out right or i just want to brush them up a bit more. some of the tutorial-y parts i added in i didn't actually use during the drawing but often do use so they're there just for demonstration. not every drawing i do starts as building blocks or a really basic version, often ill just start with a face and build it out from there.
i always encourage liberally using references (this can include yourself) and trying out stuff like life drawing or looking at things like existing photographs of real people/places/things if you can, the more you use learning material the better you'll draw up a mental inventory in your head that you can rely on more and more. some of these tips are things i've learned from other artists over the years (the chin one especially i remember seeing a tutorial about lol), so this is a lot of knowledge i've amassed from other sources over time myself. there are plenty of times ill use all sorts of reference material and its all in service of arriving at the final destination as smoothly as possible. learn by doing, as they say. hope this helps!
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florencemtrash · 1 year
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Hummingbird: Chapter Two
Miguel O'Hara x Reader
What if the Earth-1610 (Miles’s universe) version of Miguel’s wife was actually Miles’s AP Art teacher?
Masterlist
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Miguel grumbled, furiously trying to rub away the oncoming headache as the newly updated Spider-Gang continued to berate him. Jessica only leaned forward on her motorcycle, smirking at the sight of his towering figure surrounded by teenagers.
Gwen prodded him with a pointed finger, “What the hell, Miguel! I can’t believe you-”
“We trusted you and-”
“So what now you’re just on our side like some-” 
Miles’s palms sparked threateningly, “You were going to let my Dad die!”
“Hold the baby, Migs.” Peter tried in vain to shove a babbling Mayday into his hands, “She’s going to make you feel so much better.”
“You and I are gonna have some serious fisticuffs you turtle-”
“You let the power get to your head like some capitalistic-”
Peni’s robot chittered angrily.
“Ok, ok, OK!” Miguel yelled, “Everyone just QUIET!” Turning on his heels so that his broad shoulders blocked out the skyline, he began to mutter, “Dios mío. ¿Qué estoy haciendo? Estos niños me van a matar. Mierda.” He took a deep breath, steeling himself for the words that were about to leave his mouth.
“I messed up.” he murmured under his breath.
Hobie propped himself up against his guitar, “Sorry bruv, don’t think I heard you ri-”
“I MESSED UP!” Miguel shouted, throwing his hands up in his air. Everyone except Hobie and Miles took a step back. This was the closest thing to an apology any of them could hope to get, and far more than they were expecting to hear from him. “Now in case you’ve forgotten, we still have an imminent multiversal collapse on our hands!” 
“Very imminent,” Lyla said, floating on her back and propping her holographic feet up on Miguel’s shoulder.
Miles stepped forward in the silence, all eyes on him. 
He still had to tilt his head up to meet Miguel’s eyes, but he didn’t feel small. No. He wasn’t small. He wasn’t weak. He was Spider-Man, and together they were going to fix this.
“I still don’t like you but,” he stuck out his hand, “Welcome to the Spider-Gang, Miguel.” 
>>>
“Lyla, take a scan of the-” Gwen spun out of a wormhole, crashing into his side.
“Sorry!” A web shot out of her wrist, pulling her towards the skylight as Miles flipped across the room in a red and black blur.
“Spot, please!” Miles’s voice bounced around the room, sound waves rippling out from a hundred spots at once, “You don’t have to do this.”
Lyla flickered to life on Miguel’s shoulder, a holographic lollipop sticking out the corner of her mouth, “I’m on it!” 
Miguel caught himself on the wall, blades screeching on metal as a dozen more spots popped into existence around him. Rain pelted him from all sides, distracting him long enough for the hub of a cop car to fly out and flatten him against the wall. 
The Spot dipped in and out of the ground, basking in the remnants of the Super-Collider and swallowing up bits and pieces of metal and granite in the process. Wormholes had already started to crop up all around New York, threatening the destruction of buildings as cars and trains suddenly found themselves hundreds of feet above the ground.
“It’s a proper mess out here mates,” Hobie’s voice called out from Miguel’s watch, followed by the shattering of glass, “How much longer is this going to take?”
“I just need fifteen more minutes,” Margo said. A crash sounded in the background along with Jessica’s colorful words, “... maybe twenty.” 
“We don’t have twenty minutes,” Miguel grunted, flinging his body across the room. He strung his webs around a battered console, whipping it around and aiming it directly at the Spot. He only chuckled, lifting his hand and opening a portal. The console smashed into Miguel’s back, sending him crashing to the ground.
Lyla pulled the lollipop out of her mouth with an audible pop! “Scan of the room’s complete. You’re in luck! You’ve got about 17 minutes before the structural integrity of the building goes kaput, starting with the northwest corner.” Her finger glitched as she pointed. 
Joder.
“Guys no. I can do this.” Miles said, his voice tight with effort as he continued to jump around the room, whipping metal at the Spot to distract him long enough to swing to safety. He could make the Spot see reason. He had to.
Margo and Jessica scrambled about the control room three stories up, Margo’s virtual reality body glitching from anxiety as she threaded wires together and fumbled around on the computers in the control room. This dimension’s technology was ancient compared to hers and she was finding it hard to make the adjustment. 
“You really think that would work?” She asked Miles. They all stood side by side atop Alchemax, staring down into the remnants of the Super-Collider where the Spot floated around aimlessly in a pool of black ether. Every so often Margo was certain she could see visions of other dimensions poking through the fabric of spacetime - A baseball game, an explosion, a thousand ships cruising past a desert planet.
“He got his powers using the Super Collider,” Miles reasoned, “Absorbed dark matter energy from countless universes. Reverse the process and we might be able to send it all back to their original dimensions.”
“Leaving him powerless.” Hobie finished, shoving his hands into his jacket and nodding, “I like it.” 
“It’ll be a large scale Go-Home-Machine.” Margo murmured, nodding in understanding as the plan fell into place.
“But you gotta let me talk to him first.” Miles narrowed a pointed glare at Miguel. “Let me make him see reason. End this before it even begins.”
“Are you joking? That’s too risky.” Miguel growled out.
“This could kill him!”
“Oh come on, Miguel, give Miles a chance!” Pavitr had to balance on the tip of his toes to sling an arm around Miguel’s shoulders. “He’s Spider-Man! This will be easy for him! Use that charm and compassion and-”
“Fine.” Miguel said, shrugging Pavitr off, “We’ll try it your way.”
The Spot walked forward menacingly, noting with pride how Miles backed away, hands lifted up in front of him, “So now you want to talk?” 
“Listen, Jonathan - it’s Jonathan, right? - We don’t have to do this. I’m sorry I made fun of you before. I’m sorry that I disregarded you after everything you’ve been through. But you have to understand what you’re doing. This is going to destroy everything. Everything. The universe, the multiverse, all of it. You’ve got the power to-”
“There’s no Jonathan anymore, only the Spot. You still think I’m joking don’t you? You still think we’re going to make up after a grand old speech - that you’re going to save me. Well it’s too late for that, kid.” 
He lifted his hand and snapped his fingers, a portal opening to his left. Someone tumbled out wearing a paint stained Brooklyn Visions Academy sweatshirt. 
Miguel’s heart stopped beating. 
He would recognize you anywhere - in any universe.
“Y/n?” he breathed out. 
“Let’s see how good you really are, Spider-Man.” He snapped his fingers again and a portal opened up beneath your feet. The last thing you heard was the Spot's laughter as you began to fall from the sky.
“NO!” Miguel sprang into action, red laser webs flinging out to the walls as he threw himself into the air. 
“Nuh uh.” The Spot shook his finger, throwing a spot at Miguel and portaling him away, “No help! That’s cheating.” 
Miles sprinted up the walls, tracking the small dot of your figure as you flailed about wildly more than two hundred feet up, desperately trying to straighten your arms and slow your fall. The wind carried your screams away.
He dove towards a spot, arms and legs tucked in straight as an arrow after seeing your sprawling form fall past the wormhole, and re-emerged just above you. With a quick flick of the wrist he caught you, throwing out webs wildly towards the neighboring buildings in a desperate bid to slow your fall. The strands held on for as long as they could, slowing your descent before finally snapping from the tension. 
“Hold on!” He yelled over the wind as the last web broke. The voice sounded familiar. 
You both hurtled through the skeleton of a window before landing and rolling onto the floor of the one of Alchemax lab rooms, the faint smell of chlorine and formaldehyde still clinging to the air.
You pushed yourself onto your knees, prepared to kiss the solid ground beneath you.
“Miss Y/l/n?!” Miles’s jaw dropped, eyes as round as dinner plates. 
You perked your head up, momentarily forgetting your near death experience.
“Miles?!” 
“Oh crap,” he cleared his throat, dropping his voice an octave, “Um, who’s Miles?” 
“What the hell are you doing here? Do your parents know about this? Is this why you’ve been skipping classes? Who let you do this without adult supervision?!” You grabbed him by the shoulder, shaking him. He was just a teenager for fuck’s sake!
“Listen, Miss Y/l/n-” Maybe it was because he was so used to unloading his thoughts in front of you that he launched into a half-baked explanation of everything that had happened, “I got bitten by a radioactive spider-” “I met all these Spiderpeople-” “-and he tried to stop me from saving my dad and-” 
Your head was spinning.
“Oh Spidermaaannnnn!” The Spot called out in a sing-song voice. “Where are you hiding, you little insect?” “I gotta go, just-” he held his hands out, “just stay here for now. Don’t move!” And just like that he was gone, leaving you more confused than ever before.
I don’t get paid enough for this. You thought, standing alone amidst the rubble.
Miguel tore through the rooms, sprinting like a madman. The reverse Super Collider was finally up and running and it was only a matter of time before the Spot would realize their plan and go berserk. The ground beneath him shook and groaned in protest as the building’s foundations began to crumble into nothing, eaten away by the dark matter that spilled out of the Spot.
“Y/N!” he roared, kicking down a door so hard it blew off its hinges.
You hopped off the bench. It seemed silly, but as a civilian caught in the middle of a multiverse-ending battle there hadn’t been anything for you to do but sit and wait for Miles to come back.
A Spider-Man variant barreled towards you, all hard cut lines of red and blue with blades protruding to his forearms that glinted in the dim light. You hadn’t made a decision about whether or not to run - whether or not it was even worth it to try - before he had you wrapped up in his arms, burying his face in your shoulder. The mask fell away like tv static to reveal a head of brown waves that smelled faintly of oranges.
“Dios mío, pensé que te perdí.” He murmured, holding you like his life depended on it. 
You stiffened under his touch before awkwardly raising a hand to pat his back. “Umm, hola. ¿Te conozco?”
Miguel froze, feeling the tension in your body. You didn’t… you didn’t know who he was. He’d just… he’d been so terrified that he’d forgotten himself - the situation they were all in. 
He took a step back, spine ram-rod straight as he suppressed the urge to hold you again. This version of you looked… different. Different, but the same. You were missing the faint scar on your temple you’d gotten from a car crash at seventeen. 
“We need to go.” he said, voice tight as he gestured to his back, “Get on and hold on tight. This building’s about to blow.”
You blinked at the sudden change in his tone, taking a moment to process what he’d just asked you. 
“You know Spider-Man?”
“Unfortunately, yes.” He said, clenching his jaw. If you didn’t jump on his back in the next ten seconds he was going to chuck you over his shoulder and start running.
The floor beneath you shifted, the building’s dying breaths echoing through the halls.
Hesitantly you climbed onto his back, wrapping your legs tightly around his waist as he started sprinting towards the broken window.
“Si me dejas caer, nunca te perdonaré,” you said, lips accidentally brushing against the curve of his ear. 
He shivered. “Jamás.” 
You were airborne again, feeling Miguel’s body twist and flex beneath you as he pulled you both towards the ceiling like it was as natural as breathing. When you dared to look towards the ground you gasped. The tangled frame of the Super Collider was whirring to life, crackling with energy and exploding with color as Miles spun his webs, keeping the machine together even as it threatened to rip itself apart. 
From within the cocoon of webs, dark matter, and multiversal energy, you could make out the Spot’s form warping and pulling apart, bits and pieces disappearing into the frenetic portal that the collider had split open.
Miles caught up to you both, matching Miguel’s rhythm as they flicked and swung from their webs.
“Hey again, Miss Y/l/n.” Flick. “I see you’ve met Miguel.” Flick. “I hope he hasn’t been too mean towards you.” He called out.
You felt Miguel grumble with displeasure. 
“He’s the guy that body slammed me into a moving train!” Flick. “But I beat him!” 
“Miguel did WHAT?!” 
“Right, Miss Y/l/n?”
“Listen kid, I already apologized for that.” 
“Yeah right.” Miles had to laugh. The day he heard Miguel say the words “I’m sorry” would be the day the multiverse tore apart, and that day was not today.
You slapped Miguel on the shoulder - it was like hitting stone, “¿Qué coño te pasa? He’s just a teenager!” 
“Cariño, can we please discuss this at a later time?” He gritted his teeth. Something was wrong with the collider. It was getting harder and harder to swing you both upwards, like the force of gravity had tripled. 
You froze. “What did you just call me?” 
Crap.
Miles’s eyes swung back and forth between you two like a pinball machine and the dots finally connected - the alternate universe where Miguel had a family, the way he kept looking at you, the way he’d demanded Miles tell him where you were.
“...Aren’t you his wife?” He asked dumbly.
Miguel’s face went white beneath his mask. Did the temperature go up, or was that just him? His hands felt clammy under his spider-suit.
“I’M HIS WIFE?!” 
The collider screeched beneath them and Miguel barely had time to flick his web out towards the remnant of a walkway before - 
One. 
Two.
Three. 
BOOM! 
The Spot burst out from the cocoon in a tornado of dark matter, sending debris flying backward towards the sucking mouth of the collider. The building walls buckled, drywall ripping out and sailing downward at the whim of the collider’s gravitational force.
“Spider-Man!” He bellowed, his voice grating and animalistic, “I’M GOING TO DESTROY YOU!” 
He might get torn apart and sent to a thousand different dimensions, but if he was going down, he was going to take Spider-Man with him.
“Get her out of here!” Miles yelled over the deafening roar. He pressed his body flat to the wall to keep from falling down into the collider.
“I can’t!” Miguel groaned. His hands had begun to slip down the bright red webbing. You were beginning to lose your grip as well, nails clawing into Miguel’s back.
Your legs gave way first, then your arms. 
“Y/N!” Miguel flicked a laser web out, catching you by your waist. 
“MISS Y/L/N!” 
You gasped, arms and legs splayed out to your sides as you dangled precariously over nothing. Miguel stared down at you, shoulder screaming in pain as he did everything he could to keep you both from getting sucked down. His mask disappeared, letting you see the way his red-brown eyes were blown open. Somewhere from below Miguel heard the Spot scream as he was finally torn to shreds, dark matter traveling back to their respective dimensions, but all he could focus on was you.
“Miguel,” you whispered, too scared to say anything else.
“Miguel?” You called out from the bottom of the stairs. 
Gabriella dribbled the football close, just like her father had taught her, before passing it cleanly between your legs.
“¡Túnel!” 
“¡Y la multitud se vuelve loca!” Miguel whooped, thundering down the stairs and twirling a screaming Gabriella through the air.
You fixed the collar of his sweater, kissing him hesitantly on the lips and smiling at the brightness in his eyes as he held your daughter. 
“I’ll see you at the game later,” You said, smoothing back a strand of your husband’s hair, “I love you.” You murmured, hoping to hear him say it back. It had been so long since he’d said those words to you.
“I’ll see you later.” Miguel promised, kissing you again with a smile so wide you felt his teeth against your lips. 
You knew something wasn’t quite right… he knew you knew… but neither of you could find the words to say anything about it. 
What’s happened? Why have you changed so much so quickly? Why don’t you remember things about me - about Gabriella - anymore? 
You wanted to ask those questions so badly.
But you didn’t ask, and he didn’t answer.
So he left without saying those words… and that was the day he lost you.
He wouldn’t lose you again. He wouldn’t lose you like he’d lost Gabriella.
With a roar he pulled you back to him, wrapping one arm tightly around you. You molded yourself into his side, shutting your eyes just in time for the collider to groan to a halt and then explode.
The noise alone knocked you both back, sound waves rattling your bones and pressing you further against Miguel. Golden light emitted from the collapsing collider, sinking into your skin until it felt like you were burning.
The laser web burned away and Miguel could do nothing more than wrap his body around you as you were both thrown up and through what remained of the roof. You landed on hard pressed glass, pain shooting up your side as you and Miguel tumbled in a flurry of tangled limbs. You rolled to a stop, Miguel bracing his arms so that you wouldn’t get crushed under his bulky frame. His suit glitched, unstable molecules traveling over his skin as it worked to repair any and all damage.
The collider stilled, light dimming as it sighed and breathed its last.
“Are you ok? Are you hurt?” He brushed your hair back, frantically scanning your body for injuries as you caught your breath. 
“I’m ok.” You gasped out, “I’m ok,” You promised, resting your hands against his chest. He felt solid and real beneath your fingertips - the most real thing you’d experienced this entire night. 
Miguel sighed in relief, pressing his forehead against yours and closing his eyes. You closed yours too, letting yourself enjoy this delicate moment of peace and quiet. 
“Woooow, you can really feel the romantic tension between the two of them, can’t you?”
“Shut up, Pavitr.” Gwen hissed.
Miguel’s eyes snapped open, suddenly aware of the audience of Spiderpeople that had congregated on the roof. It was at times like this that he envied the others for their spider-sense. 
He rolled lightly onto his feet, pulling you up with him and keeping one arm loosely wrapped around your waist. You found that you didn’t mind the contact at all. 
Sirens blared from every street corner, the flashing red, white, and blue lights of firefighters, policemen, and EMS overwhelming to the eye. 
Someone was missing. 
“Where’s Miles?!” You said, your heart leaping into your throat.
As if on cue he swung up through the hole in the roof, landing with a wince of pain as his right knee buckled under his weight. Patches of his singed suit were still smoking.
“Are you guys ok? I oof-'' Gwen tackled him in a hug, ripping off her mask in the process. You recognized her immediately from Miles’s drawings, but her hair was longer - wilder - than in the pictures.
“Miles,” her breath stuttered, “Oh my god, I-I thought-” 
He shushed her, rubbing her back as she helped hold him up on his injured leg.
“Hey it’s ok. It’s all good. I’m alright.”
“Aight’ bruv!” Hobie and Pavitr whooped, clapping Miles’s back. 
You wrapped your arms tightly around yourself as the others circled around Miles. Only Miguel stayed close, watching you out of the corner of his eye. 
Had you actually just experienced all of that? Had you lost your mind?
“Miss Y/l/n!” Miles noticed you shivering in the cold in your socks and pajamas. He tugged off his ruined mask, exposing the bruise that was beginning to blossom like a purple flower around his nose, “Are you alright?”
You blinked. Were you alright? You weren’t dead or seriously injured as far as you could tell. 
It is taking all my willpower not to pass out or vomit right now - was what you were thinking.
“I’ve been better,” you answered, uncrossing your arms. You took a deep, stabilizing breath and squared your shoulders. It was bad enough that you’d spent the majority of the evening flung around like a rag doll in front of your favorite student, but to do it in your pajamas? That was just embarrassing. 
“Miles, please tell me you haven’t been running around New York alone with no adult supervision fighting crime this past year.” 
He chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his heck. It was like being reprimanded by his own mother, “I mean… I wasn’t always doing it alone.” 
“Yeah! And he had adult supervision - at least for the beginning part of it,” you turned towards the sandy-haired Spider-Man in the pink bathrobe and matching slippers, “I was his mentor and I think I did a pretty good job, wouldn’t you say?” He punched Miles proudly on the arm.
You gawked at him. “Is that… is that a baby strapped to your chest?” 
The baby in question babbled with happiness, chubby fingers reaching out for you. 
Peter grinned, plucking the little girl out from her carrier and mussing up her wild, red curls. “This is Mayday. She’s a wonder isn’t she?” 
He thrust May into your baffled arms where she proceeded to wriggle around like a worm on a hook. 
“You-you brought a baby to a superhero fight?” 
“Sure did! And she did fantastically. Photo time!” He snapped a picture with you and May, adding as a caption “Mayday’s first time saving the multiverse.” “This is going in the scrapbook for sure.” 
“I think… I think I need to go home now.” You said once Mayday was safely crawling around her father’s chest again.
“We should all get out of here.” Miguel said, noting the cop cars beginning to crowd around the perimeter. “Lyla?” 
An orange holographic woman popped to life, hovering in the air between you and Miguel. “You called?” 
You jolted back. Lyla fluttered her fingers in a wave.
“Is it over?” he asked wearily. 
“Hmmmmm,” she flitted around the air, checking holographic screens and typing away on a computer, “Multiverse is holding steady and there’s no sign of the Spot anywhere.” 
“And the super collider?”
Lyla made a poof sound, opening her hands and wiggling her fingers, “Destroyed. No anomalies detected.” 
“Great.” Miguel, tilting his head back and breathing deeply. Lyla blinked out of existence. 
A very pregnant Spiderwoman fiddled around with her watch, opening a portal behind her and her motorbike with only a few quick taps.
Damn, is everyone having kids these days except me? The thought came forth from your muddled brain.
“Let’s get back to HQ everyone. I want full debriefs recorded and uploaded in the next hour.” 
A chorus of protests and half-veiled insults rose up.
A tall, spindly Spider-Man, dressed like a 1920s silent film detective, tipped his hat towards you before calmly adjusting the lapels of his grey coat and stepping into the portal. He was followed by a petite Asian girl driving a robot, and… a pig? You had to blink at that one.
“I hear you teach art.” Hobie said, swinging his guitar onto his back, “That’s ace. Try this out and let me know what you think, yeah?” He tossed you a haphazardly folded zine. The cover screamed out in newsprint letters: THE DECAY OF SOCIETY IN THE FACE OF COMMERCIALIZED ART-MAKING.
“See you around,” he gave a two-fingered salute and stepped back through the portal. 
You immediately felt Miguel’s absence when he brushed past you towards Miles and Gwen. He sized up the two teenagers, grabbed Miles’s wrist, and dropped a watch into his open palm.
“Gwen will teach you how to use it. Don’t make any dumb decisions.” 
“Me?” Miles snorted, “Pfffft. Never.” 
Miguel hesitated before saying, “I’ll see you around… Spider-Man.” 
He was just about to step through the portal himself when you called out his name, voice cracking. He closed his eyes, back tense. 
He didn’t want to turn around. He wanted you to ignore him and let him leave without saying goodbye because… because if he saw you again that just might ruin him. Here was another version of you - another family - that would never be his.
But when you called his name again - this time with more force - he couldn’t deny you. He turned around and stared into your eyes - the eyes of his wife… the eyes of a stranger.
He never had the chance to live a full life with that other version of you. He hadn’t been the one to take you out on the first date, he hadn’t been the one to kiss you at the altar, he hadn’t been there when Gabriella was born. No. All those memories and experiences belonged to someone else, some other version of him that he could never be. But when he looked at you he imagined for one brief moment what it would be like to try it all over again, to be a real husband to you… to be there for you from the start.
“Thank you,” you said, “For saving my life.” 
His lips tightened into a thin, almost angry line, but whether he was angry at you or himself you couldn’t tell. He gave a curt nod, stepped into his dimension, and let the portal close in front of you.
When Gwen and Miles dropped you off at your apartment, the first words out of his mouth were, “Please don’t tell my mom and dad.” 
His phone weighed like a stone in his pocket, filled to the brim with frantic text messages and missed phone calls from Rio and Jefferson.
“Miles… this isn’t-this isn’t safe for you to do. I mean you’re just a teenager.”
“I’m not just a teenager.”  
“Do you even have a driver’s license yet?” Miles shut his mouth, thinking over his next words carefully. 
“Miss Y/l/n, this world needs Spider-Man. You know it needs Spider-Man, And I’m this universe’s Spider-Man. Me. I can’t just let that go.” 
You muttered under your breath. Were you really going to encourage a fifteen year old’s vigilantism? You pinched the bridge of your nose and sighed, hating that he was right. The answer was yes - you really were going to encourage your student to be a superhero.
“I won’t say anything to Rio or Jefferson or anyone else. Your secret is safe with me, Miles. I swear it.” 
His shoulders drooped in relief. Without warning Miles wrapped his wiry arms around you in a tight hug, “Thank you so much. You’re the best.” 
“Don’t thank me. I haven’t even done anything yet. In fact I should be thanking you for protecting the multiverse tonight.” You said, a faint smile growing on your lips despite your best efforts. You hugged him back. “If you ever need anything, just let me know. I’m going to guess even superheroes need a little help every now and then.”
“That would be the understatement of the century.” Gwen said, balancing on the balcony railing with all the grace and poise of a ballerina. 
“We should really get going, Miles. It was nice meeting you, Miss Y/l/n.” You nearly had a heart attack when Gwen fell backwards without hesitation, catching herself in a swing from an old lamppost. 
“See you around, Miss Y/l/n,” Miles said and dove after her, adding a flourish in the form of a front flip.
“See you around, Spider-Man.” You said softly, finally escaping into your apartment and sliding the balcony door shut.
<- Previous chapter Next chapter ->
>>>
Sneak peek at Chapter Three (because I want you all to know what I have planned, but I've made this chapter too long):
You awoke with a start, suffocating under the heavy blankets that you’d buried yourself in last night. You’d been dreaming again about the collider. You’d been dreaming about Miguel - this time in a feverish haze that left your mind in a puddle on the floor. 
How was it possible that a stranger could occupy so much space in your mind? It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that he’d held you like you were everything and then left without saying goodbye.
Are you thinking about me too? You wondered, opening your eyes in hopes of chasing the memory of him away.
…Maybe you were still dreaming, because the last time you checked you hadn’t fallen asleep under a tree in Central Park. And even if you had, you highly doubted you could have lugged your bed frame with you all the way from Brooklyn.
Oh por el amor de Dios.
Author's note: I hope you guys are enjoying where the story is heading! To those of you who reached out and offered to help with the Spanish - thank you so much! I've been a little overwhelmed by the responses on Tumblr and haven't been good about keeping track of things, but I have a friend who will be helping me out moving forward. I'll be updating the masterlist once the next chapter is scheduled. In the meantime, have a great weekend everyone :)
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art · 2 years
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Creator Spotlight: @velinxi​
Hello! I’m Xiao Tong Kong, better known as “Velinxi.” I’m the creator of the webcomic Countdown to Countdown and have been doing freelance artwork since I was a teenager. I love telling stories with my illustrations! Tumblr was where I first got my start as an artist, specifically a small fandom artist as a hobby… and now I’m somehow here! When I’m not trying my best to stay awake in front of my tablets, I’m usually cooking, gaming, or sleeping. Sometimes all three, in my dreams.
Check out our interview with Velinxi below!
Did you originally have a background in art? If not, how did you start?
Yeah! I’ve basically been on track to become an artist since I was a child. I went to a middle school with an emphasis on arts and a high school specializing in it. I went to SVA briefly for computer arts but dropped out to pursue freelance and webcomics after my first year.
Over the years as an artist, what or who were your biggest inspirations behind your creativity?
My biggest inspirations growing up were Yuumei and Shilin Huang, two titans on DeviantArt back in the day. They still inspire me today, but the list of inspirations has grown exponentially over the years, including artists, movies, entire art movements, etc.
What was your thought process behind the creation of your webcomic, Countdown to Countdown?
Well, Countdown to Countdown started as a passion project back when I was 15, in high school, and pretty depressed. I just wanted to draw whatever story I thought was cool, inspired by my favorite media at the time. There was a very loose beginning and outline, but I was truly just writing as I drew the story. That’s why I had to stop the comic in 2018 and restart from scratch the year after. Now, the story has a set story and a clear outline. It still has similar roots, characters, and themes of neglect, abuse, and escape—but I think the story is a lot easier to follow now. It’s got an artstyle I can actually keep up with in the long run. The origin of why CTC exists also remains the same: I simply wanted to make a story I wanted to read for myself. Which happens to be about two dumb boys with superpowers navigating a hostile world that wants them dead or caged—together.
Have you ever had an art block? If so, how did you overcome it?
Oh, all the time. It’s part of the process. Personally, though—I just have to draw through it. Every month on my Patreon, I have my patrons vote on a theme I have to draw by the end of the month, and I try my best to make it as interesting as possible. I draw quite a few—tens even, of doodles or compositions for each of these themes to try to make something that tells a story while still being aesthetically pleasing and clear. I think pushing myself like this helps with art block, really. I also do remember to take breaks and simply consume other media I like! It gets the inspiration juices flowing.
Advice you would give to an aspiring creator?
If you do one—your first webcomic should be a short, fun, messy thing. It’s not often you can get it right the first time, but you’ll certainly learn a lot through sheer experience. This goes for a lot of things in art, to be honest.
What is a medium that you have always been intrigued by but would never use yourself?
3D Animation. I briefly learned it at SVA, and I think that’s enough of that tech for me. I accept that there are some things that are truly beautiful if done right, and I am too simple and lazy for it.
What is your goal for the rest of this year?
Get Countdown to Countdown book 2 finished! And live HAHA
Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?
@yuumei-art on Tumblr, still! They’ve been a huge inspiration for digital artists and storytellers online for years. I have no doubt that many digital artists of my generation have been influenced by them, and they’re still here, making beautiful art and stories. It’s a thing to behold.
Thanks for stopping by, Velinxi! If you haven’t seen her Meet the Artist piece, be sure to check it out here. You can also follow her for more amazing art over at her Tumblr, @velinxi!
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kuwdora · 3 months
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A Vidding Primer
A guide written for @wren-of-the-woods who asked for advice about how to start vidding! This is far from comprehensive and I tried not to make it too dense because it's a big subject. I still wanted to share a variety of topics about getting into vidding because it's a hobby and art that is near and dear to my heart.
First Piece of Advice
watch a lot of vids and rewatch vids multiple times. Seek out vids on YouTube, AO3, Watch the TikTok and Twitter/X vids that show up on tumblr or wherever you’re browsing. They all have distinct styles and tools/techniques they use to make their vids and edits. Rewatch the vids and ask yourself what you like or dislike about them. The song, the editing, the source. That can give you a good starting point about how you might want to approach making your own fanvids. The TikTok style of 30 and 40 second edits are very different what you find on YouTube. YouTube editors tend to use a full song and a lot more effects and a lot more overlapping dialogue. Whereas the fanvids - Vids - from people who came into vidding in the mid 2000s/2010s have their own culture, different ways they approach song choice, clip choices and narrative. I also suggest watching vids for shows/films you’re not familiar with as well as your fandom favorites. You can learn a lot about how vidders try to tell a story even when you might not grasp the context behind certain scenes but you can still follow along with the emotional arc of the vid.
Second Piece of Advice
Have fun and enjoy yourself. Everyone starts a new hobby as a newbie. It can be a lot of effort to make 30 seconds or a 3 minute vid, but it’s such a unique type of fanwork that is fun to watch and fun to make. It can also be migraine inducing because of all the learning and technical issues along the way. But!! omg when you make a clip fall on the perfect beat with your blorbo crying that perfect tear or you find an idea and sources for the bestest perfect lyrics of the song, it’s a magnificent high. It can make you feel like a god. At least that’s how I feel a lot of times!
There are about 10 steps* to creating** a fanvid/edit:
• select your platform and software (phone/computer video editors) • gather your video and audio files • create a new project in your video editor • import audio into the editor • import the video into the software and mute audio tracks that contain your video’s audio • review, label and cut up the video into shorter clips - this step is known as ‘clipping’ in vidding parlance, but it’s also optional. Some people pull in movies and scrub through the whole film and just pull it directly onto the timeline • move the various video clips around on the timeline to match the audio track you’ve chosen for your project, add video effects and additional dialogue if you like • export the finished timeline • upload the video to a streaming platform and/or downloadable service • share your project!!! posting to ao3 and/or social media or share on discord, etc * there are a lot more steps involved with each of these steps. What what software to use, where to find video, how to deal with copyright blocks on Youtube, etc. Some of that will be covered in the links below but is not comprehensive. That would require separate posts and links and I don’t want to drop an encyclopedia on you right now! I’m happy to provide more resources that I can curate if you want more direction and pointers to resources and amazing vidders.
** like any hobby, there can and will be a learning curve and frustrations. Blank page for a writer, blank timeline for a vidder. Is anything you put down is any good, self esteem and confusion about what actually makes sense is part and parcel for any creative work. Once you're in the vidding process and committed, as long as you're enjoying yourself you gotta just keep going to get it done.
Getting Started Vidding
My knowledge and background and learning how to vid from people on livejournal and dreamwidth from 2007. I don’t have any experience in editing with a phone but if that’s something you’re interested in, YouTube will be a place for you to start finding tutorials for various apps and tools. Probably discord communities, too. Vidding Workshop - a great how-to/guide when you're starting out. This is on dreamwidth from the WisCon vidparty in 2014. Some of the tech discussions might be a little outdated but there’s a ton of relevant information. It covers technical subjects as well as developing vid ideas and actually getting started. If you have any questions about what you’re reading you can leave an anonymous comment and ask - some of these vidders responding inthe threads are still active. You can find them on AO3/YouTube, tumblr, discord and actually leave them questions about their vids. Many vidders are more than thrilled to talk about their vids and answer questions. Vexcercises - this is a dreamwidth community for short-form vid excercises. This is a very structured way of introducing vid concepts and constraints so that you can produce a vidlet. I highly recommend you check this out and participate! There’s even an AO3 collection so you can check out how people have done the different exercises, too.
The Process of Vidding
Watch Me Edit - @limblogs put together a fantastic playlist of YouTube editors who will show you beginning to end how they made their vid. A lot of these editors appear to be using Sony Vegas but the general process of vidding end-to-end will be similar with other nonlinear editors like DaVinci Resolve, Premiere, etc. It’s a great way to actually see the vid come together if you don’t know what that even looks like. Every vidder will develop their own workflow and approach (which might even change from vid to vid), but it’s useful to see in video how people actually DO the thing. @limblogs also created a handy YouTube playlist some vidders from Bradcpu’s Vidder Profiles (Fanlore page). These profiles are basically like a director’s DVD commentary on their vidding process, featuring the vidders talking over their own vids! So cool. Phenomnal insights from these vidders about how they choose song, use effects, think about their narratives.
Self Rec: I recently did a vidding textpost series called: do it for the process - a naked vid draft: What (Yennefer of Vengerberg). How I Edit by @vimesbootstheory is another textpost about their vidding process. Self rec: Here’s my text interview: Vidder Profile - Kuwdora 2011. I talk about my process with a lot of specific examples from my previous work and lots of screenshots. This profile is over a decade old but a lot of this still holds true for me today! videlicet - this is an incredible vidding zine that @limblogs put togegther with a lot of amazing contributors. These articles and discuss about specific vids and aspects of vidding. It’s really detailed and a fantastic piece of vidding culture. I highly reading recommend the Demystifying Vidding article by lim and the A History of Vidding by @meeedeee and…pretty much every article in the zine!
Doing the vidding!
I recommend joining exchanges and watching vids that come out of exchanges and checking out fannish cons that have vidshows and discords to get more exposure to vidders and vids. Many people have joined @festivids (AO3 collection here) and made their very first vid, it's a very fun and great way to get into vidding. It’s not quite festivids season right now but time flies and it will be time to nominate sources and do sign-ups in the blink of an eye. Follow @festivids and check out the AO3 collection and see what people are making. Join the Vexcercises community and make some short vids and share them on your tumblr or on discord or somewhere and bask in the thrill of making your first fanvids. Check out who reblogged the vidder ask game - go and read other vidders responses and ask some new-to-you vidders questions. Everyone has their own take on process and tech and everything. It's great to hear and see what a lot people are doing and making.
Final Advice - talking about vids and doing the vidding
• watch vids • rewatch vids • leave a comment and ask a question about something you saw in their vid! • Again: find someone’s AO3 page of fanvids and ask them something about their vid in a comment or send them asks on tumblr (people usually have the same alias or link to their tumblr or dreamwidth pages somewhere.) • YouTube can be a valuable resource for tutorials so if you don't know something, there is likely someone who has made a tutorial about how to use a cross dissolve transition or anything else you might want to replicate in a video that you've seen in a vid. • start making a vid, scream and cry, ask for help, and keep going until you get it done. Celebrate and bask in your completed vid and share it with everyone! • Follow vidders on tumblr that you find from the vidder ask game • Check out the vidding discord for community and questions and vid recs and news about vidding exchanges and cons. • Have fun!
Hope this helps you get started! Thank you so much for the ask! Let me know if you have more questions and I can help you out or send you to cool vidders who have great advice and suggestions. And please send me your vid if you make one!
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Coffee Shop
summary: tim drake's favorite coffee shop has a new barista.
pairing: tim drake x reader
notes: this is the first time i write something since my art block started, please be nice 🙏🙏🙏
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There's just something about you.
Tim thinks it was the destiny for you two to meet. You were the new barista on his favorite coffee shop and he was your first client. Tim remembers shooting you a look of sympathy as you fumbled with the coffee machine, forgetting which buttons to press as you grew more and more nervous.
"I'm sorry about the long wait, it's my first day here." You explained with grimace, trying to figure out the right commandent.
"It's okay, don't worry about that." He smiles and leans towards the balcony, pointing at the machine that was giving you headache, "I think you should press the red one."
"Oh, yeah!" You nodded, doing as he told you. Meeting his blue eyes, you find yourself letting a soft laugh fall from your lips, "You are very kind. Thank you, Mr...?"
"Drake. Tim Drake. Nice to meet you." He smiles again and you feel your own growing wider.
"(y/n) (y/l). It's nice to meet you too."
Tim never had felt this way before. Sure, he has had his fair share of partners on the past, though a lot of them worked better as friends. Tim did love them but, damn, nobody ever made him feel this way.
Maybe it was the way you'd always get his orders right. Or maybe it was how you always had that beautiful smile on your face. It could even be that you were kind to everyone you meet as you went by your way. He didn't know what made him gravitate towards you, but honestly, he didn't really mind.
Tim never thought he'd say it, but he started to look forward to going to work. Going to work meant that he was going to visit the coffee shop, and going to the coffee shop meant he was going to see you. And honestly,
He was head over heels for you.
"Mr. Drake? Are you okay?" You ask on a random tuesday morning, curiously watching him from behind your lashes.
"Uh, yeah, yeah." He blinks and smiles at you kindly, "Also, I told you to call me Tim, (y/n)."
"Mr. Allis will kill me if he hears me call you by your first name." You laugh, and shake your head, "Anyways, black coffee with a hint of vanilla, right?"
"Right." Tim nods and leans towards the balcony to stare down longingly as you moved.
You look up at the boy and raises one of your eyebrows, a small smirk creeping on your lips, "Why are you looking at me like that?"
Tim lets a sigh out. Honestly, go to hell with his self control. He opens his mouth before he can think better of it, "Do you have a boyfriend?"
"Uh?" You stop your motions to look at him, "I- I don't. Why do you ask?"
"Look I-" The man starts, but closes his mouth. Breathing deeply, Tim ignores his flushing face and opens his mouth again, "I know a place. If you- I was wondering if you'd like to, I don't know, maybe hang out with me."
You stare at him for a few moments then asks quietly, "Are you asking me out, Mr. Drake?"
Tim flushes and coughs awkwardly on his hand, "M-Maybe? I mean, you don't have to if you feel uncomfortable. Damn, I made you uncomfortable, didn't I? I'm so sorry, I just really like you-"
"Tim." You call out, stopping his rambling and stealing his attention. Smiling down at him, you tilt your head, "I really like you too."
"You do?" He asks hopefully.
"I do." You nod, confirming, "And I'd love to go on a date with you."
"Cool! Sweet! Amazing!" Tim shoots you a bright beam, "You won't regret it, I promise you."
"I know I won't." You utter as a red blush creeps onto your face, "I'm gonna give you my number. That way we can actually work it out."
The man nods excitedly and watches you grab a pen and a piece of paper.
Tim leaves the cafeteria, 30 minutes late for his meeting, with a cup of coffee on one hand and a special phone number on the other.
He still has a smile on his face when he arrives on his office to a frowing Bruce Wayne.
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jovial-thunder · 7 months
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Lancer Tactics devlog
I'm gonna try out posting my ~monthly devlog roundup here as well. These suckers are glorified changelogs with anecdotes and gifs galore. Let me know if this is something you like seeing show up on your dash?
Map Editor
Got units able to be placed/deleted/moved in the mission editor
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Can paint/remove command zones in the editor
Can paint minecraft-like terrain blocks in the editor
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Can paint/rotate multi-tile props in the editor
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Can edit unit character sheets and portrait via the editor
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3D maps
Did a bunch of art tests with 3D mech models, provided by GeneralChaos, which we ended up deciding not to go with to keep things simple.
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To avoid the can of worms that is animation, we'd have to lean into a static "tabletop minatures" aesthetic which we decided is not a style we want to be stuck with. By sticking with 2D sprites, we avoid falling into a sort of uncanny valley; it's easier to get away with not animating a 2D sprite than it is for a 3D model.
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 We also experimented with 3D terrain. We decided to make a rule that the visual style for a piece of terrain should match its mechanical effect: obstructing terrain that you can't move through, such as rocks or buildings, will be in 3D, while non-obstructing terrain like trees will stick with 2D sprites.
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Hooking up the 3D camera to follow events like movement and attacks did a LOT for making it starting to feel like it's cohering into an Actual Game™
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Implemented cover! And an attack preview! Cover works by aiming a ray from the target to the originator (technically to and from each voxel of each, respectively, to handle size 2s shooting above size 1 cover) and tracking all the terrain blocks it hits (how we'll handle non-terrain hard cover TBD). I think I have it working according to Perijove's cover rules manual, but I'm sure there'll be edge cases to work out. This is a case where things are significantly simplified by working in squares instead of hexes; hexes have a lot more possible weird angles you have to deal with.
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Re-added what I'm stubbornly calling Combat Popcorn; little bits of text that pop out when you use abilities and attacks.
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UI & game screens
Added ability for the engine to show UI that's anchored to the game world via a little word bubble line but also stay on screen as the camera moves around.
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Got word bubbles working; you can now write dialogue in the mission editor, hit playtest, and see it work in a mission! (it does actually translate correctly now; this gif is just from a bug I thought was funny)
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Got ability effects mostly behaving appropriately again, including muzzle flashes. The easiest way to handle them ended up being NOT billboarding them so they always face the camera (like all other 2D sprites in the game); instead, I put them on a plane parallel with the ground and just spin them around the unit to point at wherever their target is.
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Did some work ironing out our tooltip system. The standard in CRPGs these days is this kind of nested labyrinth of tooltops that you see in Baldur's Gate 3:
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I Did Not Want to try and figure out how to wrangle that much UI, so we're instead opting to cap the nested tooltips at the second layer. You can lock a general tooltip for e.g. an action and then mouseover various items within that tooltip to get glossary definitions...
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...and then instead of having those glossary tips be lockable/mouse-overable themselves, I collect all related terms to that glossary definition and let you tab through them.
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Added skin overlay functionality to the portrait maker, enabling textures like scars, tattoos, stubble, and vitiligo to be applied to just the skin and not extend off into space.
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Midway through writing this update, Carpenter sent me this gif of the randomization button working! There's a still a bunch of skintones/assets missing and a few are a bit janky, but it was exciting to start seeing the range of these lil freaks (affectionate) that this editor can create.
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Mourning cloak license!
This is the one I'm probably most excited about: I did a bit of a content dive and implemented a basic character sheet + all Mourning Cloak traits and equipment. They don't have fancy graphics yet, but the weapons and systems can be added via the character sheet and used in-game.
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It took a little under a day, including adding soon-to-be common mechanisms like bonus damage. This is great news in that it means the engine we've been building for so long in the abstract seems to do a great job in handling comprehensive actual game content, and that it looks like we've set ourselves up for success when it comes time to buckle down on churning that out.
I'm sure other licenses will come with unique difficulties (I fear the day it comes time to do the Mule Harness // Goblin CP) but I'm feeling good about it!
Vertical slice?
Taking a step back, the pressing question on my mind has been "when will we have a playable early access build?"
I was originally hoping for Feb/March, but what we've internally been referring to as the "3D cataclysm" has pushed everything back by at least three months, so the target for the first alpha build is now in May. So, ah, thanks for your patience! Seeing things come together, I've become more and more convinced that moving to 3D was the right call.
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highlynerdy · 18 days
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"I do it because I want to protect him from the world, and sometimes from myself. I want to tell him every secret I ever had, and yet I never want to make him choose, to see the hurt in his eyes, to put this, too, on him. I want-I want so many things. Sometimes, I just want."
Turning The Page by @queerofthedagger / art by @schweetheart
I started this fanARTifact in July 2021 and finally, finally finished it in September 2024. Click below to see so many more pictures and read probably too much about the project.
This project was a LABOR OF LOVE because y'all...I failed so, so many times during the making of it. I had grand dreams of all the things that I was going to do and learn and every single time I tried something it was like the universe telling me to go ahead and go fuck myself, we're not doing that. But it's done and I'm pleased with it. I hope Mona and Schweets are. Let's talk about the process.
I read this story back in July 2021 when it came out and immediately wrote @schweetheart on July 23, 2021 to ask if I could use her art for the back because it was such a crucial part of the story.
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She graciously allowed me to use it, and even sent me a high res file so I could have the portrait of Arthur printed on art paper.
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THEN. My brilliantly stupid self decided that just making the book wasn't enough. I mean, I had already done that for Arthur's journal back in 2020 and I am nothing if not a nutter about learning to do new things, especially for my fanARTifact series.
SO. I'm going to learn to make paper. Yeah. Totally a reasonable escalation in terms of new skills, right?? ......... Nope. I bought a small 5x7 mould and deckle to practice with and some cotton linters to make the pulp. Twas. A. Failure. I didn't have a press or the felts or the sizing needed to make the paper actually, ya know, usable. This was the first time I put the project down for a while.
Moving on to another new skill in late 2021, I decided that I wanted to make the walnut ink myself. Luckily, I was part of a pigment subscription in 2020 (that is a hell of a nerdy statement, even for me) and had all the supplies in my art studio to attempt this endeavor.
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I didn't fail this part! Fucking huzzah for small miracles. Now I had two small bottles of black walnut ink to use for the calligraphy that I wanted to do for some of the excerpts. Except now I was stuck again on the paper making part so I put it back down again for an eternity.
Picking it back up in late 2022, I asked Mr. Highlynerdy to make a custom size mould and deckle for me so I could have long pieces to fold for my signatures. It was his first time doing anything like this but he's a buddy and a pal and gave it a try. Surprising no one if you've read this far, we both failed this part. Even now, I'm still not sure we succeeded but eventually we did get something workable. And considering professional mould and deckles cost in the hundreds of dollars...yeah, it'll do.
It took a hot ass minute for me to feel ready to attempt the paper making again but once I was ready, I ordered wet, pre-beaten pulp from Twinrocker. A very curt man on the phone helped me figure out what I needed and added internal sizing to the pulp I ordered. I didn't take pictures of any of the paper stuff because it was very messy and annoying. Once again, Mr. Highlynerdy helped me rig up a drying box with tri-wall cardboard and ratchet straps and a box fan. Once the paper was dry, I used a gelatin mixture to paint on external sizing. Since I'm primarily a painter, I needed the paper to be able to handle ink, paint, pencil. Sizing paper is the only way to do this, but no worries, I won't go further into the nerdy details about this.
Once the paper was ready, I decided to sew the text block. Here's another part where I failed YET A-FUCKING-GAIN. I talked before on Arthur's Journal post about how books were very, very rare in the 6th century (Arthurian period), but BBC Merlin is soooooo anachronistic that it's fiiiiiine to just do what I wanted. HOWEVER. I did want to try to do visible spine binding. But. Unfortunately I had gone ahead and used all of my paper to bind the text block as if I was going to case it in. FUUUUUUUCCCCCK. It's fine. We're fine. Come on, brain. What can we do.
Well, what we CAN'T do is use a piece of leather from my large remnant that I bought for my first journal because someone - FUCKING ME - measured and cut the last piece NOT TAKING INTO ACCOUNT THE WIDTH of the text block. So now it doesn't fit. And refusing to buy a new piece of leather I'm forced to pivot once again.
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I decided to cut the leather spine even shorter, buy some wood pieces and sand them, paint them a matte black, and then glue the leather to those pieces. Cool cool cool. We're moving on. I tested a lot of different glues for this and good ol' super glue ended up being the clear winner. Cue putting this project away again for a whiiiillle.
In October 2023, I decided to pull it out again and do the calligraphy and drawings I wanted. This story has so many gorgeous parts but I finally decided on the first page, the last page, and the page about Gaius.
I mixed my handmade walnut ink with my beloved Finetec gold and used the quills I bought from John Neal Booksellers to practice my Uncial. I shouldn't have been rusty after lettering an entire fic for this fanARTifact, but I was.
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The little dragon was inspired by medieval manuscript dragons I found.
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Narratively, I loved the idea that Merlin's writing would start off soft and delicate and become stronger by the end of the journal. Also, I loved that the end word "WANT" would be just gold because the ink blend changes throughout. Something magical or whatever.
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This part needed tears. They might have been real ones...
Annnnnnnnd, the project was put down again until a few days ago when I decided, after getting back into Merlin fic, I needed to buck up and finish it.
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I did so many tests for the cover. I tried embossing, carving, and debossing and hated all of them. I settled on painting it with acrylic paints in the shape of a Celtic knot sort of pattern. I originally wanted to do a triskelion but after reading a bit about how some asshole groups have co-opted the symbol for shitty purposes, I decided against it. It's a mix of black and gold and it's hard to capture the depth of it through photos...eh, I did what I could.
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Still. Something wasn't quite working with the brown leather and the black covers with the new symbol so I broke out my matte black leather paint and decided to go all black.
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All I had left to do was glue in the text block and it would be done! And that still took me a few days to work up the courage. The book opens nice and flat, which will be good for me as I will use it as a sketchbook.
Sitting here, on September 1st, I have completed a project that taught me many new skills and also taught me a lot about humility and perseverance. There was no way I was going to abandon this project, and maybe I should have started over many of the times, but I am quite in love with the final result and I just hope that it does it's inspiration proud. Thank you @queerofthedagger Mona for all you create and share with the Merlin fandom, and thank you @schweetheart for allowing me to use your gorgeous art.
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Also, you may see quite a few other fanARTifacts in this photoshoot because I will use any opportunity to show them off lol.
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If you read to the end of this, you deserve a cocktail and a cookie. Thank you. 💛✨✨
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busket · 1 month
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gravity falls rant, cw sexual assault and harassment
seeing the gf fandom do a full 180 on billford is so odd to see and kind of infuriating because I had so many nasty rumors and lies spread about me in 2015-2018 because I liked them as bitter exes. a callout google doc was made and I never read it, but I know it framed me as a creep and an abuser. all because I thought a cartoon nerd and a triangle had a fascinating dynamic that was dark and compelling
in 2017 or 2018 someone sent like 70 messages to my curiouscat just repeating RAPIST RAPIST RAPIST RAPIST over and over again. I'd never even had sex at that point, and I had just cut my dad out of my life for actually being a pedophile and a rapist. so that was traumatizing! that really hurt me!
I also know it was because I had a NSFW account where i drew porn (i was an adult, i was clear i only wanted adults following me. and I still do draw nsfw, I'm not ashamed of that now but these folks made me ashamed of it for years) that included some porn of trans men, like Stanley or Stanford as trans men (NEVER together bc I've always been staunchly against incest or pedophilia ships) and these people framed me as a transphobe and a transmasc fetishist
well obviously I'm a trans man now and I didn't know it at the time but those drawings were a way to explore my own relationship with gender. I even look like Stan and Ford now, obviously i latched on to them as trans men because I wanted to BE them. but I believed it when people called me a piece of shit, I assumed all trans people would despise me too and I'd committed a horrible sin and it forced me back in the closet for another 5 years.
the people doing this were teenagers at the time, a few I thought were my friends/mutuals, and they made that part of my life kinda miserable. I was already miserable with other shit going on in my life. I ignored most of the harassment to make myself uninteresting and to avoid the possibility of becoming a lolcow but it involved anonymous messages both on tumblr and curiouscat, I even got a few emails just mocking me. even in 2019 when some people were like "oh yeah she's moved on to moomin, this is what her art looks like now, I can't look at it without thinking about how much she loves rape :/" which was NEVER true!!! I liked Ford and Bill as bitter exes but it was always consensual in my mind.
Anyway I don't ever expect or even want an apology. I'm sure they don't realize what an effect that harassment had on me during literally the darkest years of my life. to them they were just teasing a weird girl on the internet for fun, or very seriously warning their friends against whom they'd been lied to about being an abuser, but I was a closeted trans man trying to finish college, my home life was abysmal and abusive, I hated myself, i hated my body, my only friends were online, and when I'd log on for some escapism I was met with another message like "hey, you should block this person. they're saying some really cruel things about you on their account. I know it's not true but it looks like some people are believing it."
gravity falls was so important to me as a show since oregon is my home and it felt so authentic to my own childhood being interested in cryptids and going camping and visiting shit like the Oregon vortex as a child. but the fandom was the worst I've ever been in. it ruined my enjoyment of media online for years. so idk. I guess I feel somewhat vindicated but it would also be nice to get those years back and not be harassed and bullied online about something so stupid and unimportant
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withonly-sweetheart · 15 days
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Shades of Gray
Stylists and photographer; both such burdens but nothing can prepare you for the way Leon's arrival tips over your "shades of gray".
a/n: @chesue00 ... YOU LOVELY LITTLE MANIACAL GENUIS. I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH I CANT EVEN DESCRIBE IT HOPE YOU LIKE THIS ONE 😍😍😍
i was literally walking just walking you know i see that i have a notification from tumblr (if my slowass had checked the name i wouldve braced myself) but the post pops up
when i tell you i nearly hopped skipped and jumped like my friend gave me the weirdest look ever... like i cant tell you how much that art piece means to me its literally so hot im dying ahahhhhahhahhhh and i cant write smut for SHIT so future me revamp this when you learn the true smut writing ways....
tw: non explicit smut but just to be safe mdni!! also can u guess where the titles from.. heh
wc: 3.4k
“They might fire you with that attitude,” Ada muses quietly, humming to herself as she dusts off the camera lens, wiping it with such precision and care, something you couldn’t manage to do yourself.
You glare up at your superior from where you crouch at the legs of the tripod, scowling. “They can’t do that. I’m single handedly carrying this studio. How broke do you have to be to be both the one of the editors and the photographer?”
“Pretty broke,” she agrees with a small shrug.
“And it’s not even like the models are hot or anything,” you continue, exasperatedly, pinching the bridge of your nose in an attempt to shut your mouth before you say something you might regret. “I better get a promotion after this new guy.”
“Who knows?” Ada laughs, a soft, tinkling sound that seems to ease some of your tension. Between your job(s), there hasn’t been much time to relax, but the fact you storm around the studio with set shoulders, lips twisted in a frown never seems to bother her.
You suppose you should be grateful you have such a good friend. You just wish there was something worth her time here, because you sure aren’t.
<><><><>
“Room 3,” you read from the list, craning your neck to read the words scratched into the paper that’s plastered onto the wall. “Is that where she is?”
“He,” Ada corrects. “A guy, again. Isn’t that exciting?”
She means to sound eager, but you can hear how dry her tone is, and you can’t blame her. Most of the guys that show up are only here to have a quick session, earn some cash, try to get with one of the girls working on set, before rushing away, never to be seen again.
You place a tentative hand on her shoulder, rubbing the muscle there. “I’ll deal with it. You get some rest before the shoot, ‘kay?”
Her weary eyes find you, but they light up somewhat at your suggestion. Without another word, she nods and dips her head before walking off to the lounge. Ada’s overworked, you know that. The least you can do for her is this, right?
Ignoring the fact you’ve never actually done this before, you wipe your trembling, sweaty hands on your pants before sliding the door open.
The man sitting in the chair, eyes slicing to you from the mirror, face softening into a smile as you gawk in the doorway, unable to do much more than offer fragments of a sentence.
“Good,” he murmurs. “I thought you were the director.”
“Uhm. No.” You recognize him, a man you’ve only seen in stretched out movie posters that are plastered everywhere on your apartment block, a man only seen in the vivid ink on paper, on the pixels that cross your screen.
Now he’s really sitting here, in front of you, feet carrying you to stand right behind him. What the hell were you thinking? You meet his eyes in the mirror, too abashed to look directly.
"What are you doing here?" you blurt out in surprise. "You’re an actor! This isn't exactly your scene."
"Is that how you greet a guest?" With an arched brow, he gestures to the cluttered room. "And I could say the same for you. It seems like I'm not the only one who's a little lost."
"You have no idea," you mutter.
"Ah, there it is." Leon leans back, tilting his head to stare up at you, regarding you curiously. "So what’s happening? This your therapy session?"
You glance down and flash a tentative grin. Reaching around him, you quickly wet your hands, then card them through Leon's bronzed hair, working out the tangles and smoothing it into place.
His shoulders tense when your fingertips make contact with the back of his neck, eyes narrowing down at the ground.
"Your hands..." he murmurs unexpectedly. "They're so soft."
You pause, fingers stilling to look down, only to find his eyes closed, a faint smirk playing at his lips. You smile to yourself, feeling a flutter of pride in your work. It had been a long time since you’d done this for a friend, since Ada often recoils at your touch. "Well, you know, this is kinda my thing. Taking care of models, seeing they're relaxed."
“You’re pretty good at it,” he muses.
You feel heat sear your neck and gulp, reaching for some of the confidence that abandons you quickly. "Alright pretty boy, time to get you camera-ready." Spritzing some product, you sculpt his hair into what the director had requested - “tousled but not too tousled, sexy without trying too hard.”
Whatever the hell that meant.
Your hands move fast, eager with a purpose. Under your touch, Leon seems further away, lost in thoughts. When you’re close to finishing, he lifts his head again to meet your gaze.
“I’ll assume you already know my name,” he remarks. “You’ve watched my work?”
“Kinda hard not to.” You don’t mean for it to sound so condescending, but he just squints back up at you as you massage some kind of lotion into his scalp.
“You wouldn’t, by chance, know Ada, would you?” he asks quietly.
“‘Course,” you say with a soft chuckle. “She’s the only reason I have this job.”
Leon nods understandingly. "Sounds just like her. She’s got a way of reeling people in." A wry smile plays on his lips. "So what's next - you joining in on the shoot?"
"Over my dead body," you reply hastily. Leon tilts his head, the silent question molding into acceptance as you continue, "No, I'm just playing assistant for the day, making sure Ada and the girls have what they need. Shouldn't be too hard, right?"
Somehow, looking at Leon's amused expression, you have a feeling you’ll be in for a lot more than that. But that must be the week-old guacamole you bought from Chipotle and ate for lunch today.
<><><><>
The shoot seems to be running smoothly, at least on the outside, when you’re finally done fussing over the minor details, checking off a mental list and trying really hard not to let your gaze dip a little lower than it should.
He doesn’t notice. Of course he doesn’t. He’s at least twenty years older than you. It only worked one way, didn’t it? Always did.
Next to the camera, you’ve taped reference pictures of other models artfully draped across ornate furniture, all courtesy of your work. You don’t exactly know what Leon’s advertising, but you caught a hint of the lavender rosemary liquid Helena was working on last week, so you assume it must be a fragrance shoot.
You spot Ada immediately, lounging on a chaise with one leg extended gracefully. Her emerald gaze flickers over as you approach.
"Well it's about time," she calls out, clapping her hands as she stands. "Hair and makeup, ten minutes ago."
Leon cracks a bemused smile. "We're here now, aren't we? Lead the way, assistant."
“How do you even know her?” you ask, slightly curious about their past, as you usher him into the couch.
“Acquaintances from our old job,” he mutters. And you quickly notice that something’s wrong. Leon looks too tense against the soft, relaxed background, too stressed as he frowns up at you, hands clasped between his spread legs.
So you do what you do best. You kneel in front of him, resting a hand on the ball of his knee. Once again, he steels at your touch, then relaxes, and you look up at him to see his jaw working, as if swallowing his words.
"What do you think you’re doing? Leon whispers, catching your wandering eyes.
“Just trying to help,” you say casually, with a shrug. It was safe to say you know what you’re doing, and even better, you can see it’s working. The corner of his mouth bunches up into a shit-eating grin, just the look you need.
<><><><>
Thirty minutes later, and not a single photo has pleased the director. He sits there like a goddamn statue, flickers of emotion passing his face only when spares a glimpse to the photos Ada calmly hands to him.
Her eyes are seething but her tone is level as she tells you in a low whisper, “I need some coffee or I will choke him.”
You know what that means. So, as if you’re programmed to do it, you swing by the cafe and pick up her coffee, two pumps of almond milk and light ice; the amount of times she’s sent you to fetch her drink is so absurd you’ve memorized it without meaning to.
You’re imagining the way her face will light up at the caffeinated drink chilling your hand, switching it to ease the strain on your fingers, when you turn the corner just as someone else does.
This someone else becomes only apparent to you after you’re done scolding them for not watching where they’re going, staring down at their faintly recognizable, designer brand, worn out shoes that currently have cappuccino dripping onto the material.
You drag your eyes up, ready to glare them down, when those blazing blue eyes meet yours and immediately you realize it’s all your fault, why weren’t you paying better attention to your surroundings?
Leon seems to be frozen, unable to move, as he stares down at his dripping shirt, and due to your perfect luck, the director also rounds the corner. He pushes Leon to the side, exposing the brown easily staining the white linen.
He presses a foot down on one of the stray ice cubes, crushing it and wiping his foot back. You grimace, paling at the idea of his wrath. Is this how you lose your job?
But Leon sighs patiently before he can say anything, inspecting the damage carefully. "Well, we had a good run. Not everything can go our way, hm?"
Your boss doesn’t seem to agree. He taps his foot rapidly on the tiles, a marching tempo, voice like sharpened steel. "You have exactly one minute before I find someone to replace you. Fix this, now."
Without another condition to his threat, he storms away to fume at the rest of the crew. They’ll be singing your praises for days, that's for sure. You wrinkle your nose and stick your tongue out after him, sparking a rumbling chuckle from Leon. You roll your eyes and turn to him, jabbing him in the chest with your pointer finger.
“Why the hell does your shirt even matter when all you’re doing is smelling good?”
<><><><>
You quickly realize that the point of the shoot isn’t to showcase any scent. No, not at all.
The shoot starts like any other - adjusting lighting, discussing shots with the crew. But Ada's knowing smirk and the array of silky fabrics draped nearby piques your suspicion.
"Ada, tell me those aren't...?" you gesture weakly at the snug boxer briefs Leon now models, the only thing on his bare skin, miles of smooth, dewey skin, dimpled with years.
She laughs softly. "Don't pretend you're not enjoying the view. I can see it in your eyes.”
“But for the first shoot?” you whine.
“I don’t make the rules, hun. Now go powder his nose or something equally distracting."
You set to work on Leon's hair and makeup, desperately avoiding eye contact with his barely dressed form. But then he shifts, and the movement draws your gaze as his facade slips away, revealing a broad, scarred back, painted with the stories of his younger days, of memories lost to time.
Leon meets your hesitant eyes in the mirror, one brow cocked knowingly. "See something you like?"
You cough in response, flustered. "Just, uh, admiring my handiwork. You clean up well for a god, Ken- I meant, uh, an amateur model. Yeah. That’s what I said."
He chuckles, low and rich, echoing through your hollow eyes. "Whatever you say, assistant. Now, I believe we have some shots to take?"
He leaves you standing there, in a daze as you watch him saunter off, eyes fixed on a lower point of his back. It was going to be a long week keeping your eyes (and thoughts) professional.
The play of light and shadow dappling his skin, dipping into every crevice of his well-nurtured body and curving around his muscle is something you can’t keep your eyes off of.
He knows. You realize this with a sudden jolt as someone sighs nearby. He knows that everyone’s ogling, and he loves it. The arrogance only fuels his ego, you think, as a collective hush falls over you all.
And just like that, the cocky grin on his face is gone. You can at least admire how well Leon slides, almost effortlessly, into professional mode, shrugging at the director’s instructions to face the camera, to reveal sculpted plains of muscle and dusted chest hair.
Call someone to bring a water bucket, because watching him through the camera, your eyes to the world, the raw truth laid bare for you to witness, sparks flares of heat within you. You have a gut feeling that not even water can put it out.
You seek to capture the subtle shifts in expression on his face, the way his lips curve into a smile or his gaze lingers with a hint of longing. These small details, when frozen in time through the lens of your camera, seem to speak long tales of not only misery, but admiration.
And you catch exactly who they’re directed to.
Ada.
<><><><>
“What do you mean, nothing?” Leon scoffs, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “You’re pissy and this is the seventeenth time you’ve nearly pulled out my hair!”
“It’s not like there’s much left, anyways,” you snap back, equally as irritated as you yank at the strands, forcing them to separate, trying to clean the product. Against everything, you still feel the tiniest bit guilty when Leon winces.
“He’s not that old,” Ada calls out, swaying over to the cafe.
“Exactly,” Leon says, but he’s chuckling now, and he waves in greeting to her.
You can’t help but force a smile, trying to make your reaction seem genuine, your silent hatred unnoticeable. This isn’t healthy.
A man? Coming between you and your only friend in this wretched place? What are you, a teenager? But you can’t deny the disgusting, poison green envy that unspools in your stomach, catching onto the flames and turning them into toxic vapor everytime you notice his lingering eyes, her thoughtful smile, the small touches they think no one notices.
It’s hard for you not to, especially when you know he’s been teasing you all week, the bastard. You suppose you should be glad today is the second to last day of this collaboration, and that you’ll never see him after this. Pray that his movies never feature at the local theater again.
But why does he have to be so beautiful? You want to strangle the sculptor, the majestic mind that saw him in the block of hard set marble and brought him to life, all chiseled, lean body, marked with stories, the body you have to stare at with a stony expression as you click the camera. Yet the softest, most gentle touches you’ve ever felt come from him.
Soft like his fingers around your wrist as he glances up at you, evident concern in his azure gaze. "Hey, is everything okay? You seem down."
You shake your head dismissively. "It's fine. Just tired of playing assistant, I guess."
A frown twists his lips. "You know that's not all it was." His thumb rubbed gentle strokes on your skin, setting your nerves alight. "I didn't mean to lead you on if... Well, you seem so young, I didn't want to assume or make you uncomfortable."
Your breath hitches as he stares at you, awaiting your reply. Fortune favors the bold, right? In a rush of courage, you lean down to brush your lips against his stubbled cheek, just the faintest touch.
"Why don’t you come over tonight and try me?"
<><><><>
Leon’s always been depicted in shades of gray, through your camera, the filters of monochrome, white, gray and black sweeping him into dramatic stories. However many shades you have seen in him, more than fifty, you think absently.
When you met him, the glacier tilt of his glistening eyes.
When you shot him, iron gray, the set of his jaw in pondering poses.
The fog his breath on your bare skin, as exposed to him as he was once to you, ash in the scratch of his stubble that sets fire to every part of you it brushes, anchor to the peace bringing doves taking off against your shoulder where his eyelashes flutter, peppering your collarbone with cautious, restrained kisses.
He’s holding back. Right now, he’s the soft gray that washes over the hills in the early mornings, the gray of your tea as you stare out at the horizon.
“What’s wrong?” you whisper, brushing wisps of hair that stick to his face away. Leon glances down at you, eyes contorted in pain.
“I-I can’t,” he chokes out. You’ve never seen him cry, but pearls well up in his icy, stormy eyes, clouds of emotion raining down his cheeks.
So you kiss the hurt away. You push him into the linen bed sheets, muse something about the coffee incident, which sparks a broken chuckle from his glorious, glorious mouth.
Eventually all sorts of things are sprouting from between those lips. You think most of them are profanities, but you’d prefer that over sobbing.
You realize that you never want to see him cry.
Never see the smoky pallor of his face.
<><><><>
You wake to the sounds of metal creaking and strange gushing sounds that you can’t identify. Slightly concerned, you pull on the blinds, letting the dawn sun wash over your tired expression as you peer down at the hotel parking lot.
“Is he…” You squint, rubbing your eyes and blinking before looking back.
Yeah, you were right the first time.
“Why are you- when did you- what?”
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” The corner of his mouth crinkles into a sappy smile, barely visible from under the gleaming, spotless body of a motorcycle. “You aren’t the only one that can multitask.”
“You know you have a shoot today, right?" You rub your eyes, further taking the scene in. He’s definitely been working on the bike for some time, if the spread of tools was any sign.
He waves off your complaint with a huff. “That’s irrelevant. Besides, she matters more to me.”
“She?” You scoff.
"I know, I know." Leon wipes his hands, sliding out from beneath the vehicle with a half-sheepish, half-proud grin. "This old girl needed a tune-up, and I couldn't help myself. You know how it is."
You crouch to his level, sighing and wanting to be annoyed with his spontaneity but finding it hard in the glow of his expression, with the passion that sparkles in his eyes. "Just try not to get too grimy before call time, Leon. Ada will have both our heads."
Leon chuckles, unconcerned as always. "No worries. A quick shower and I'll be shining for the camera again." He waves off your complaint with a huff. “Besides, she matters more to me.”
Your brow furrows in confusion. "She who?"
Leon grins, running a loving hand along the motorcycle's frame. "Why, my precious Matilda, of course."
“Isn’t that your cat's name?”
“Yes… and?”
You roll your eyes but can’t suppress a fond smile. Only Leon would think of naming his vehicle. "Ah, now it all makes sense. I should've known no flesh and blood woman could ever compare to your one true love, your Ducati."
Leon meets your gaze with utmost sincerity, face twinged with amusement as he presses a fleeting kiss to your forehead, curling his fingers around the back of your head.
And his eyes are missing those rolling fogs.
Clear skies.
“Well, some things a man just has to do with his hands, you know?"
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hydn-jpg · 4 months
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redraw of this piece!! i mentioned in that post that i would redraw it at some point and ig that time is now! (i meant to post this before id2 came out but i got really busy so y'know lol better late than never)
i like to think i've improved! still can't draw chairs though haha
side by side comparison under the cut + rambly artist commentary(?):
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i still have a long way to go in learning proper anatomy but i think the new pose looks a lot more natural and comfortable! also ~sexier~ perhaps
i tried to make the bg look closer to the actual cg they used in the book, i am arguably better at doing backgrounds now i think! i used to not put a lot of thought into it and just blocked out random shapes and called it a day (okay, i still do that now lol but i put more care into it now !! i try to make the shapes a bit more distinct and actually plan and sketch it out rather than draw some blobs and hope for the best ldkfkhsl). also more colour range(?) to give it a bit more depth!!)
i'd also like to add that i think i'm also better at figuring out compositions now, idk how it is for y'all but when i look at the original my eyes can't help but just fall to the centre, bc there's no focal point(?) or anything that's visually interesting for the eyes to land on. plus with the way it's structured, my eyes just naturally fall to center (+ bottom half bc the skin showing through the rips are bright in contrast to the black) >_> in contrast, in the redraw your eyes are automatically drawn to the face bc it's arguably the most interesting thing on the canvas and thus acts as the visual anchor of sorts (plus there is enough contrast with the background to make cas stand out instead of blend in)
even though i cringe looking at the og i can't help but to also feel endeared bc this was one of the first immortal desires fanart i ever did and also one the first of my posts to do really well! i never expected to get that much attention since i was only posting casually but it really warmed my heart reading all the lovely comments and motivated to draw more :D
it's also really fun seeing how much my art style and techniques have evolved! i don't think i use any of the same brushes i used to use for my old pieces anymore now haha. i also watched the timelapse for the old one and am honestly kind of in awe at how my different my drawing process used to be!!
i still have a lot to learn (esp in terms of anatomy, lighting, shading etc.) but i'm happy with where i am rn! the great thing about being a hobbyist is that there isn't really any pressure for me to improve quickly so i can just take my time haha (except maybe from imposter syndrome but that's neither here nor there)
i think i could've drawn his face and expression a bit better but i think this is a satisfying enough redraw for now!
btw, these are just my thoughts! i am not an art student so the things i said might not be technically correct but this is how i make sense of things in my brain
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