#also my literal fucking favorite characters every time in star wars are the fucking droids. what am i even talking about i love robots

[ban-joey]

actually marking another one on the autism list. why are my favorite stories always the ones about "what is it that makes you a person" and why do i find the most kinship with the characters above which that question looms. anyway

[gffa]

You must have ALLOT of time to write long ass essays on pointless shit

Hi!  I completely agree with you that Obi-Wan Kenobi is the best Star Wars character and that he deserved a nap, a vacation, and a cuddle with the dumbass Chosen One former apprentice of his choice.  Preferably with Anakin snuggled up against his side while they nap in a sunbeam on an island vacation, including Anakin doing cute little kitten yawns and stretches! I’m so glad you asked for some of my favorite Obi-Wan moments, even if it’s really hard to choose!  THERE ARE JUST SO MANY??? BUT SOME FAVORITES:

SOBS, HE WAS SO PROUD OF ANAKIN.  NO MATTER HOW MUCH ANAKIN STUMBLED NOW AND AGAIN, OBI-WAN ALWAYS BELIEVED HE WOULD GET BACK UP, HE WOULD FIND HIS WAY AGAIN. The warmth he so easily gives Anakin in this scene, even when telling him to be patient, is wonderful, you can just see it written all over his face, how much Obi-Wan loves him, and how much he really does have faith in Anakin. That’s why this moment is so great as well:

“He will not let me down.  He never has.” Think about all the shit Anakin has done, all the times he’s stumbled, all the times he’s gotten way too up in his head or refused to talk when Obi-Wan approached him!  Think about all the times he’s stabbed someone to death that he could have taken more time with.  Think about all the times Anakin has snapped and snarled. And put it together with, “He will not let me down.  He never has.”  Because Obi-Wan has never expected Anakin to be perfect, only that he keep trying, genuinely and truly.  And Obi-Wan believes that Anakin can overcome all the difficult things he faces. HE LOVES ANAKIN SO MUCH. BUT ALSO, OBI-WAN KENOBI FOR SHIT LIKE THIS:

HE JUST FUCKING FLINGS HIMSELF AT GRIEVOUS, SMILING LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER, AND THE THING IS HE WILL FUCK THEIR SHIT UP. HE DOES:

LOOK AT THAT SHIT, SO CASUALLY CUTTING THE MAGNA GUARD’S HEAD OFF, NOT EVEN GIVING A SHIT THAT IT PICKED UP THE ELECTROSTAFF. OR SHIT LIKE THIS:

JESUS CHRIST, KENOBI, DIAL IT BACK DOWN, MY THIRST IS GETTING TO BE KIND OF EMBARRASSING EVEN FOR ME. OH HEY ALSO REMEMBER THAT TIME HE DEFLECTED A GODDAMNED MISSILE AND LOOKED THE MOST BADASS THAT HAD EVER BADASSSED? BECAUSE I DO.

OH NO HE’S TOO HOT. JUST TAKE ME NOW, GENERAL KENOBI.  MY BODY IS READY. P.S. THIS WAS PRETTY FUCKING COOL:

LIKE, THIS IS BEFORE THE WAR STARTED AND OBI-WAN’S OUT THERE DEFLECTING LIGHTNING ALREADY?  LIKE IT’S NO BIG DEAL? HOLY CRAP, WHAT A ROCK STAR. ALSO, ONE OF THE GREATEST MOMENTS THAT HAS EVER BEEN:

LOL GOD IT NEVER STOPS BEING FUNNY.  JUST FLINGING HIMSELF OUT THE WINDOW AND HITCHING A RIDE ON A TINY DROID. YEAH, OKAY, HE PROBABLY WOULD HAVE BEEN JUST FINE WITHOUT IT, JEDI CAN USE THE FORCE TO SLOW THEIR DESCENT. BUT HANGING ON TO THAT DROID--LITERALLY HANGING ONTO IT--TO KEEP TRACK OF IT, GOING ACROSS THE CITY?  THEN HAVING THE GALL TO LECTURE ANAKIN ABOUT JUMPING OUT OF SPEEDERS? *CHEF’S KISS*  OBI-WAN KENOBI IS THE BEST. And yet that’s not all!  He’s genuinely caring and compassionate! He notices that Anakin doesn’t look well (despite that he looks perfectly fine, so Obi-Wan was clearly paying close attention to him) and asks Anakin how he’s doing with such concern on his face:

That is the face of someone who cares about Anakin so much and UGH GOD OBI-WAN KENOBI DESERVED A BETTER GALAXY TO BE IN. HIS FACE IS SUCH A GOOD FACE:

EVERY MICRO EXPRESSION IS A GODDAMNED TREASURE. BUT TOTALLY AND TRULY MY FAVORITE MOMENT IS FROM ROTS, WHEN THEY CRASH ONTO THE INVISIBLE HAND. IT’S PEAK FUCKING STAR WARS.

HE JUST LITERALLY FLIES OUT OF HIS STARFIGHTER BEFORE IT’S EVEN COME TO A STOP, LAUNCHING HIMSELF ACROSS THE HANGAR, ROLLING INTO A MOVE THAT HAS HIM SLICING RIGHT THROUGH THE DROIDS. IT IS THE MOST BADASS THING AND THE MOST HILARIOUS THING. IT’S SO GODDAMNED EXTRA WHILE ALSO BEING SO COOL. ALL THE COOLER LITERALLY AT THE SAME TIME, THIS IS ANAKIN SKYWALKER:

STILL UNBUCKLING HIS SEAT BELT, WHILE OBI-WAN IS OUT THERE ALREADY SLICING UP DROIDS AND NOT GIVING A SHIT ABOUT PROPER SAFETY WHILE FLYING. IN CONCLUSION:  OBI-WAN KENOBI IS THE BEST, YOU’RE RIGHT. (For the record, this did take me a whole 45 minutes to write!  And literally 30 minutes of that was finding the fucking gifs, oh my god, why is this site such a nightmare to find anything on???)

[x-childish-x]

Valentine’s Day Mystery Special! Part 1

How They Would Spend Valentine's Day With You!

Request: No

Warnings: Swearing, fluff

Word Count: 833

A/N: Day Three! Here it is! The Mystery Valentine's Day Special! It's basically a brief list of some head-cannons of what spending V-Day with these characters would be like (from my opinion). Characters who receive their own special are not included on this list. Another reminder that requests are still open but will not be posted until after 2/15. However, you can send in a Valentine's Day request and I'll do my best to post it with the specials! If you would like an extension of any of these, send in an ask and let me know! I hope you enjoy!

Part One: Star Wars

Anakin Skywalker

(gif not mine!)

Anakin absolutely loves Valentine's Day. I don't see him as the type to bring you candy or flowers, not that stuff. But he'd totally give you something he made, or something that reminded him of you while he was on a mission. Like, he'd find a crystal on a mission with Obi-Wan, and he'd totally sneak it back and then clean it all up, carve it, and turn it into a necklace and give it to you for Valentine's Day. Despite how confident he normally is, he would be so nervous and shy to give you gifts but he would die to see your reactions. The way your eyes light up and you do that smile, Anakin would be complete putty to give you gifts, which is why he loved Valentine's Day so much. Because he could surprise you with so many gifts and have you all to himself for a day.

Obi-Wan Kenobi

(gif not mine!)

Obi-Wan is the most casual person about Valentine's Day. Of course, part of the reason he's so casual is because of the Jedi code, but he's also just such a calm person. He'd get you a gift, or two, or three, but it'd be more "mature" gifts. Like instead of a full bouquet of flowers, he'd only get you like half a dozen. Or, he'd get you something you'd wanted for months, or had been asking for. And he'd be so flipping casual about giving you the gifts! He's definitely the type to just hand you the gift, perfectly wrapped (or bagged), and mutter a simple "Happy Valentine's Day, love." He'd be so mature about the whole thing because he loves you and he's just overall so happy to have such an amazing person as you, in his life, while still trying to be all tough, mature Jedi Master Kenobi. Doesn't mean he doesn't turn into a soft mess when you tell him "Thank you", he would definitely pull you into his chest and whisper "Of course, my love."

Kylo Ren

(gif not mine!)

This boy? Maker! Kylo Ren puts so much effort into pretending to hate the whole idea of Valentine's Day. Every chance he gets he talks about how "pointless" the day is. But you and I both know that he would 100% spend the whole entire day worshipping you. He'd make sure you don't like a finger the whole day, that you have the day off, and you have everything you need. He absolutely would not acknowledge giving you gifts. He's the type to leave the gifts on your bed, or in the living room and completely ignore when you ask him what it is. Kylo definitely tries so hard to be so sly and convincing of hating the day but he completely loves spoiling you and making you feel special. Not to mention, when you finally are able to kiss his cheek and whisper "Thank you" to him for the gifts, oh my god he gets so red and so flipping happy.

Finn

(gif not mine!)

SUCKER FOR VALENTINES DAY! Absolutely loves Valentine's Day. Would literally do everything possible. Candy, chocolates, flowers, stuffed animals, anything and everything he possibly could do, he would. Finn would spend the whole day spoiling you and babying you and would be so confident. He's probably the most confident person when giving gifts. He's like "Yeah. You'll love my gifts. They're great." He's all for the day and literally the biggest sweetheart the whole time. Definitely stays up late the night before with Leia and BB-8 to decorate the whole base, and a powered down C-3PO is behind them because that droid was way too loud.

Han Solo

(gif not mine!)

Loves it, all for it, but he'd be such a smug ass about it. He'd get you your favorite candy/chocolate and something else you'd been asking for for awhile and he'd be like "I knew you'd love it, of course you'd love it. i have such good taste" and ignore the fact you'd been begging him to get it for you for MONTHS. Deep down though, he'd be so afraid that you'd changed your mind and no longer wanted the gift. Not to mention, Han would be such a hidden softie about the day. Like, behind closed doors he becomes a literal baby for you. He'd whine anytime you got up to leave him because "babe it's valentine's day don't leave me."

Luke Skywalker

(gif not mine!)

This little fucker would spoil you rotten and be sooooooo fucking shy about it. He would travel the whole damn galaxy to get  you everything you'd mentioned in the past month. And he'd be so shy and scared to give you gifts, because "stars, what if they don't like it" but of course, you love it. He would definitely try to be creative with how he gifts it to you, maybe in a cute bag, or wrapped or in a gift basket? He would just love watching you get all excited and nervous about opening the gifts yourself. Luke would be the type of person to try to refuse any gifts you get him but he'd get so excited and would kiss all over your face because you finally got him that damn power converter. Would definitely want to spend the whole day cuddling you.

[popwasabi]

“The Mandalorian” S2 is a power fantasy with mini Star Wars trailers

The term “Plot armor” is often used by readers and viewers to describe the myriad of ways writers keep their heroes away from any real danger no matter what choices or actions they make in the narrative. It’s typically a derisive phrase for the way a writer’s hero seems to escape death no matter what is thrown at him for the sole purpose of moving the plot forward.

In Disney+’s “The Mandalorian” this term takes a far more literal description in the form of our main anti-hero, played by Pedro Pascal, in his beskar armor which seems to be, by all accounts the most indestructible material in the galaxy far, far away.

(I mean, it still looks really cool too, of course.)

The result of this narrative decision in this series is that action scenes often don’t have real tension to them. In another series you might be able to reasonably believe the hero might be in danger with blaster fire shooting all around them but with beskar it’s almost comically not the case at all. Stormtroopers fire laser blast after laser blast at The Mando and each time they bounce harmlessly off him as if he were fucking Superman. It makes scenes feel devoid of stakes and danger no matter what situation they are in.

The show thus becomes a power fantasy, as action scenes serve as extended highlight reels for the Mando. Where season 1 of the show mitigated the power of the Mando’s plot armor by putting him more often in situations where his beskar alone wasn’t enough to save the day, season 2 goes mostly full power fantasy as The Mando rarely runs into a situation he can’t just quite literally walk through.

(“Aim for his armor, men! That’s his weak point!”)

This isn’t to say the season wasn’t without its high moments or even that it wasn’t enjoyable plenty of times but the series’ devotion to fan servicey action and callbacks to “Hey remember ____” makes it a fairly shallow story. At least for myself.

Season 2 of “The Mandalorian” continues the story of Din and his small Yoda-like companion, The Child (later known officially as Grogu), as he looks to complete a quest to return the burgeoning Force wielder to the Jedi. As he seeks to reunite The Child with the ancient Order, he encounters other Mandalorians who are on a quest to retake Mandalore and right on their tail is the nefarious Grand Moff Gideon who is still bent on capturing Grogu for whatever it is he has planned for the Empire.

Let me start this review by saying power fantasies aren’t inherently bad to watch or read. They can be good, cathartic junk food for the soul and can also be compelling, artistic, or even deeply metaphorical in their own way. A movie series like “John Wick” for instance is a power fantasy that aims to reinvent the wheel in action film-making with Keanu Reeves performing perhaps the best gun kata of all-time onscreen. Another film like Paul Verhoueven’s “Total Recall” can satirize the power fantasy to show how ridiculous it is in concept.

So, making your hero an unstoppable killing machine isn’t necessarily always a bad thing if used properly.

(Seriously, this is one of the smartest action films ever made. Don’t @ me.)

Now that that’s established, however, “The Mandalorian” season 2, despite some strong moments here and there, is a power fantasy that lacks these elements for a more interesting narrative. If you believe killing dozens of stormtroopers onscreen while never suffering so much as a scratch for eight episodes equals compelling storytelling then boy does Disney have a series for you.

Through the first four-ish episodes, the new season is mostly just fine and even quite enjoyable. We have the Mando getting a fun side quest with Timothy Olyphant on Tatooine where they get to wrangle a sand worm in a callback to the Westerns that inspired much of the franchise’s aesthetic. The Mando gets to escort a frog lady to her home planet to give birth to some tadpoles and they run into some actual danger in this episode in the form of kyrnknas/space spiders. And we get the return of Bo Katan from Dave Filoni’s “Clone Wars” and “Rebels” cartoon series, with Katee Sackhoff herself reprising the role in a fun Mandalorian team-up episode.

(I’m just so happy to see my girl, Starbuck, again more than anything honestly ;_;)

But the wheels started officially falling off for me in the next episode.

Episode 5 marked the live-action debut of fan favorite Ahsoka Tano, played by Rosario Dawson, and she meets the Mando by getting the jump on him with her lightsabers. In virtually any other situation we have been told lightsabers can cut through virtually anything. Now, beskar has been shown to be plenty durable throughout the series so far but lightsabers? Surely not.

Well…

It is an overall good episode despite this but it marked the point for me where I badly wanted The Mando to just go the rest of the series without it. Obviously, the writers aren’t going to actually kill our hero, afterall The Mouse needs more money and he can’t have it unless we get 50 more Mandalorian episodes and spin-offs, but at some point I gotta feel like there’s a possibility at least that our hero might actually die or at least is in danger. It is actually super funny to me each time The Mando ducks or seeks cover in a shootout when I know, and the viewer damn well knows, he can literally walk right into the middle of it and shoot all these motherfuckers at his own leisure cause his actual plot armor is the stuff of adamantium and vibranium combined.

Episode 5 is mostly good though, it’s a nice callback to old school samurai flicks and for an old fan like myself it was enough to ignore beskar again saving the Mando’s ass.

(This was cool...This...was...cool.)

If episode 5 marked the point in which the wheels began to come off though, episode 6 is where the show really spun out into the ditch for me. Perhaps, this series worst episode, personally, episode 6 reintroduces fan favorite and series inspiration Boba Fett back officially into the fold and the result was perhaps the most self-indulgent entry of the series.

(I mean, it was directed by Robert Rodriguez so...)

Boba arrives to demand his beskar from The Mando who promptly tells him “no” before they are ambushed by a platoon of stormtroopers. Alongside Ming-Na Wen’s Fennec Shand, the three do battle with the stormtroopers with ridiculous ease. I’m aware that stormtroopers exist to be on the highlight reel of our heroes in this franchise and have a long history of not being able to hit the broad side of a bantha but again, I can only watch these guys die by the dozens onscreen over and over again while our heroes get away without suffering even a bruise before it starts feeling boring and repetitive.

It only gets worse once Boba actually puts on his armor. In a sequence that I would describe as “gratuitously” fan servicey, Boba wastes just about every last stormtrooper in this scene culminating with him destroying their two get-away vehicles in a single shot with a rocket. Considering he was killing them with ease just moments before with nothing more than a battle club and a bathrobe, it seemed almost hilariously needless that he donned his iconic armor.

(It would be tempting to say the stormtroopers fought as ineptly as the Putty Patrol here but even the Power Rangers have struggled a few times against these guys...)

I get that Boba is really important to a lot of fans, based on their perceptions of him in the original trilogy and subsequent books and graphic novels that came out in the following years, but here’s a hot take; this series didn’t need him in it. Maybe they didn’t need to keep him rotting in the Sarlacc Pit but this episode, alongside Ahsoka Tano’s feels more like marketing choices for the story rather than narrative ones. I’ll concede that there is a bit more substance to having Ahsoka there to commune with Grogu but their additions to the plot don’t actually show much of anything about the Mando outside physically helping him in a fight.

The way they tease, in both cases, stories that exist outside the internal narrative between Ahsoka’s search for Admiral Thrawn and Boba taking over Jabba’s palace at the end of the final episode, it feels like Disney threw in mini trailers for fans to nibble on at the expense of telling the Mando’s own story and letting it stand on its own like the first season.

The choice to have these characters shoved into this season again appears to be market driven not narrative. Once more, I get that these characters are important personally to many fans, but the appearance of these characters alone DO NOT equal good storytelling.

(Me when a fan tells me “But Boba was such a badass in *obscurely titled EU book that a handful of general audiences have read*! He deserves this moment!”)

The final episode of the season is truly encapsulating of all these issues “The Mandalorian” has, however. Moff Gideon, played by the always sharp Giancarlo Esposito, has Grogu imprisoned aboard his ship. The Mando and his friends plan a rescue mission to save him and, just like nearly every episode before, it is stupidly easy for our protagonists.

The crew of five, again, walk through every Imperial on the ship. I don’t mean this metaphorically by the way, I mean this literally as Cara, Fennec, Bo Katan and Koshka Reeves (played by WWE’s Sasha Banks) without a single moment of real adversity just blast through every stormtrooper on the ship and never get hit once in the process.

A good action scene needs an element of danger, a sense that our hero might actually not come out of this alive even though we all know they will. An action scene without this has no tension and without tension it becomes booooooooring.

(Even John fucking Wick is capable of bleeding, guys...)

The finale had a chance, however, to add real stakes and danger to the scene in the form of this season’s new enemy; The Dark Troopers. These Imperial battle droids were foreshadowed as these super soldiers at the end of episode 4 and seemed to be billed as a real dangerous match for our heroes to faceup against. When the Mando finally gets himself face to face with one he finds they are not as easy to kill as the nameless stormtroopers from before. To see The Mando briefly face real adversity for a change snapped me out of my cynical mood so sharply for a moment I thought I had turned on another series by accident.

But of course, danger never lasts long in this series as The Mando’s armor again saves him first from getting pummeled to death by the droid’s super fists then he uses his plot spear, cause of course he has one of those too, to finish the job.

Danger over.

Moff Gideon doesn’t fair much better in this episode. This villain who had been built up for two seasons as this calculative monster gets stopped rather easily with Mando and his friends barely breaking a sweat. This character feels wasted because of this, even though I’m sure Giancarlo Esposito will return in the next season. He just feels about as much like a pushover as the nameless stormtroopers in this series.

The episode had one more chance though to show these Dark Troopers meant business toward the end as we found the heroes cornered on the command deck with nowhere to run and a dozen of these droids ready to blast and pound them into the floorboards. But help arrives in the form of a Deus X-Wing Machina.

Without having to face even one Dark Trooper, Luke fucking Skywalker arrives on the ship and kills every droid without breaking a sweat. It plays as inspiring in the moment but again I just found myself bored and irritated. A chance to see the series heroes actually use their wits and show their creativity in a moment of true danger thwarted to please fan boys.

I get that Grogu called out to him in episode 6 but creatively this felt like an extremley lazy way to solve the heroes’ dilemna.

(“Hello my name is Jedi. I enjoy doing...*computes script* Jedi things.”)

This season wasn’t all bad. It certainly had nice production value that made each alien world pop and beautiful to look at. Every actor and actress played their parts expertly well, with what they were given, and made for interesting characters at times. There are also nice homages to both Western and Samurai cinema throughout the season that fans of both will appreciate. And Pedro Pascal is just so good on his own, especially in tender moments with Grogu, that you forget that his character is kind of a Gary Stu.

But the main crux of the issue here that I’m trying to get across is the reason you need to remove the plot armor of your heroes is not just because action scenes need tension and stakes, it’s that when faced with danger these scenes reveal who these characters are. I used to believe that the reason Mandalorians and Jedi had such a fierce rivalry in the lore despite the obvious advantages of wielding the Force was because these famed bounty hunters were just that fucking good at killing. That despite being, on paper, normal people they had great martial prowess, athletic skill, and the tactical wit to outsmart people who can literally sense their feelings. But now with beskar and the way this series is written, it appears the Mandalorians were challenging warriors just because they happened to harness the most OP armor building material in the galaxy.

It makes you wonder how the fuck they were conquered to begin with…

(Maybe they just needed more knee rockets...)

This takes away from the mysticism of the Mandalorians for me. It makes The Mando less interesting to me in the way he fights. Yea he can shoot really good too but really it’s the armor that makes him the fighter that he is and I find that kind of boring. We occasionally get this character to remove the armor during the series, including a whole episode that was easily one of the best of the season, and in every case he’s more interesting once the helmet comes off. I get that fans hold a lot of reverence for that armor, yea it still looks really cool, but making it this impenetrable super material doesn’t add anything to the story.

If anything, it takes away from it.

(Plus how could you not love Pedro Pascal when he’s out of armor? uWu)

I wouldn’t go as far as to say I hate season 2, even though I spent 2000 plus words just now lambasting it but I guess I just want to say I am unimpressed more than anything. I feel like I’ve seen better Star Wars be it in the movies, cartoons, books, video games, etc and I’ve certainly seen better action in the franchise as well.

Considering fan reaction so far appears to be overwhelmingly positive, I am definitely in the minority here and you are welcome to enjoy this series as much as you want in spite of how unimpressed I am with the season. But considering all I have seen of this fandom the last few years, regarding complaints about fan service (“Rogue One”), easily defeated/underdeveloped bad guys (“The Last Jedi”), and Mary Sues (The sequel trilogy in general), I have to ask again what is it actually that fans like or don’t like about new entries in the franchise? It’s not that there isn’t valid criticisms there and “The Mandalorian” is enjoyable in sincere ways too but it has many of the issues I hear commonly said of more divisive entries in the Disneyverse. So why does it get a pass?

I’ve been told it’s not worth my energy to talk too derisively about the fans in one of my earlier write-ups, so I’ll leave it at that but it does make me wonder.

(“Rogue One” admittedly has a simarily self-indulgent action sequence though haha...)

Season 2 of “The Mandalorian” isn’t the worst piece of Star Wars media ever created, far from it, and for most part its solid enjoyable Saturday morning cartoon theater but if the series wants to really take steps to become more compelling in the future it might be good to stop bubble wrapping their heroes in plot armor. Literally.

Until then this is the way…I guess…

Me getting ready for the backlash...

[contrispos]

Episode 12 - Rescue on Ryloth

[Star Wars: The Bad Batch]

Okay, so I know this is very late but I’ve been up to a lot of stuff, but here it is!!!

—

RAMPFUCK

HOWSER😘😘😘

i hate rampass with my entire being

YES TELL EM ELENI

BOSS ASS BITCH.COM

I love Howser

I HATE RAMPASS

CROSSHAIR IS COMING AND I KNOW IT

CHOPPER!!!!!!!!

THAT is my man crisscross

Crosshair, arr you suggesting you won’t leave without your brothers right now??? IS THAT WHAT YOU ARE SAYING

THE BATCH

GONKY

GONKY IS A DEFECTIVE UNIT

I LOVE IT

I LOVE THAT THE BATCH NAMED THEIR GNK DROID GONKY BTW

ITS MY FAVORITE THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD

HOLY SHIT ITS TECH

MY BABYYYYYYY

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

YEA DONT WORRY GONKY THEY ARE DEFECTIVE TOO

ITS SO CUTE I CANT

TECH MY BABY

I HAVE MISSED YOU DEAR

IS THIS TECH BEING A DAD

IS TECH WORRIED ABOUT THE MISSION

MY GOD HES BEAUTIFUL

yeah baby tell him

omega is the fucking best did you know that?

damn tech stop flying so fast u gonna die brother

MY CHILDREN ARE SO BEAUTIFUL

omg I fucking love chopper

HOLD UP

WE ARE GETTING TECH AND CHOPPER TOGETHER IN THE SAME SCENE

THE DOPPELGÄNGERS ARE UNITED

this post btw

AH the little shoulder grab my heart

awwwwee tech is so excited

why so cold hunter? ya need a blanket or something

how exactly did free ta survive a shot to THE FUCKING HEAD BUT FIVES DIDNT SURVIVE A SHOT THROUGH ARMOR

🎶four bros, chillin on a mountain, zero feet apart cuz they’re not actually gay just very close brothers who fight battles together and are like a family🎶

oooooooh another face off?????

why do i love the hand signs?

WHY DID WE NOT GET TO SEE MY BEAUTIFUL BABY TECH?????

shit

that’s a probe isn’t it

hunter is gonna save the day:)

bonk

stabby stab

oh tech my darling boy, please do a stand up show

crisscross is comin for ya!!

OH

MY

GOD

TECH AND CHOPPER ARE WORKING TOGETHER ON THE SHIP!!!!!!

WHY IS THIS THE CUTEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN??????

WHY IS DAVE DOING THIS TO ME?????

hunter is a little(very tall) bitch

HUHHHHHHHH

OMYFUCKINGGODTHATISTHECUTESTTHINGIHAVEEVERSEENORHEARDINMYENTIRELIFE

OMEGA LITERALLY JUST TOLD HUNTER SHE SEES THE BATCH AS HER FAMILY

I AM CRYING

HUNTERS FACE

wait are they just gonna leave omega there????

holy shit

wait

why are you bullying my child RAMPASS

HUH?

YOU WANNA FIGHT??!!

crosshairs scar is no easier to look at

my child is hurt!!!!

OMYFUCKINGGODTHEREMYHEARTGOESAGAINCANOMEGASTOPBEINGSOFUCKINGADORABLE

HE IS HER BROTHER🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

THEY ALL ARE🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

CAN I CRY NOW? WILL YOU ALLOW ME TO CRY??????

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

OOOFFFF omega i love you

howser is baby

HOWSER IS DEFECTIVE I KNEW IT

AHHHHHHH

I CANT

I LOVE CHOPPER SO MUCH

I LOVE THE BAD BATCH SO MUCH

YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND THE EMOTIONAL STATE I AM IN RIGHT NOW

OMG TECH IS BEING A DAD

HE IS BEING A DAD

I REPEAT

TECH IS BEING A DAD

HE HAS DAD ENERGY

HE IS PROTECTIVE

HOLY FUCK I COULD GO ON ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE DAD!TECH FOR HOURS

SSHHHIIIIIEEEEETTTTT

CHOPPER MY CHILD YOU ARE SO SMART I LOVE YOU

CHOPPER SUPREMACY YESTERDAY PLEASE

I CANNOT EXPLAIN HOW MUCH I LOVE IT WHEN CHOPPER HAS HIS LITTLE ROBOT ARMS OUT

“a little help?” echo, fives is very proud of you right now

“i won’t tell if you don’t” holy fuck i live my children

WAIT

ARE WE ABOUT TO WITNESS HERAS FIRST TIME AS A REAL PILOT??????

OMG GUYS THIS IS A LEGENDARY EVENT RIGHT HERE

THIS MOMENT RIGHT HERE WILL CHANGE THE GALAXY FOREVER

TECH

HELLO DEAR

there is something about the fact that tech is talking about his rebels parallel character that just sits right with me

OH MY GOD

DID YOU HEAR THE SLIGHT PANIC IN TECHS VOICE

HE THOUGHT OMEGA WAS GOING TO FLY THE SHUTTLE WITHOUT ANY TRAINING

MY BABY

WHY DID HE SOUND SO MUCH LIKE A DAD

HE WAS SO DAD-LIKE IN THE WAY HE SAID OMEGA

OH MY GOD THIS RIGHT HERE IN MY FAVORITE SCENE IN THE ENTIRE STAR WARS FRANCHISE

TECH IS SO FUCKING GOOD AT FLYING AND I LOVE IT

HOW IS HE DOING THAT

AH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

LIKE I AM ASEXUAL BUT LIKE THAT IS SEXY AF

TECH

I AM NO LONGER ASKING

I DEMAND YOU PUT YOUR COMEDY SHOW ON THE ROAD

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD TECH IS GORGEOUS

AH

MY HEART

MY EYES ARE BLESSED

DONT GO THAT WAY HUNTER

YA GONNA DIE

hunter so knows that howsers chip is dead

OH MY GOD

TECH IS SO FUCKING GORGEOUS

I—

I CANT

HE IS SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL

oh no

stop

omg

regular clones breaking orders??

THIS IS WHAT IM HERE FOR!!!!!!

YES HOWSER

BUT LIKE GET THE HELL OUTTA THERE CAUSE YOURE ABOUT TO DIE

WHY DOES CROSSHAIR MISS EVERY SINGLE SHOT???

IS IT HIM FIGHTING AGAINST THE CHIP TO NOT SHOOT HIS BROTHERS????

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME

WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME WATCH MY CHILDREN BEING SO SAD

A HIGH FIVE!!!!!!

OMEGA DID A LITTLE JUMP TOO

I CANT WITH THIS ADORABLENESS

ah- hunter resisting payment???? who’s this fella???

okay, let’s just break this down: hunter is breaking my heart with his fucking dad-of-the-group thing

wrecker is breaking my heart with his utterly confused look at what’s going on

omega is breaking my heart with her sheer cuteness

echo is healing me a bit by being the calm mom

BUT TECH IS FUCKING KILLING ME FIFTEEN TIMES IN THIS SHORT CLIP BECAUSE 1: HOW DARE HE BE SO DAD-Y TOWARDS OMEGA AND HERA AND 2: HOW DARE HE SMILE LIKE THAT??? HOW DARE HE BE SO GORGEOUS I LITERALLY CANNOT BREATHE RIGHT NOW HE STARIGHT UP KNOCKED THE AIR FROM MY LUNGS HE IS SO GORGEOUS AND I WILL DIE IN LIKE TWO SECONDS IF NOT LESS

HERA AND OMEGA ARE LESBIANS

I LOVE HERA AND KANAN BUT LIKE OMEGA AND HERA ARE SO CUTE

“keep an eye on your brothers” I CANT I LITERALLY CANT LIKE HERA KILLED ME RIGHT HERE AND NOW AND ALSO HOW DARE THEY SHIFT THE FOCUS TO THE BATCH WHEN SHE SAYS THAT

okay but hera literally thinks that they are brothers in the sense of how i have brothers or how she would have brothers, like they are a little family who grew up together and the batch are omegas troublesome older brothers when in reality they are clones, i think that is realky beautiful and i am crying so hard right now

OKAY BUT TECHS LITTLE SMILE AS OMEGA WALKED UP TO THEM I—

ah shiet

OH MY GOD CROSSHAIRS FACE WHEN RAMPASS SAID THE BATCH ARE HIS FRIENDS

HE WANTS TO GO HOME

no

nope

nuh uh

i dont want this

but i really do want this tho

NOW THEY CAN GET HIS CHIP OUT AND HE CAN BE WITH HIS FAMILY AGAIN

okay but if that’s not the face of a scared little boy i don’t know what is

like!!!

look at that!!!

HE IS SO SCARED HE JUST WANTS TO GO HOME

DAVE JUST LET HIM GO HOME

okay but i really did not need this much in one episode but like now they might actually save crosshair soooo, that’s good:))))

[eternalthenas]

what bothers me the most about tros and what i’m most unable to accept is how jj managed to destroy and disrespect EVERY single character. even the ones who technically had “happy endings”🤡

ben - i feel like this one doesn’t even need to be said, but i’ll say it anyways. after years of emotional abuse from palpatine, it’s disheartening to see that jj gave no explanation as to why palpatine wanted ben (personal vendetta against the skywalkers i guess??) when it semed like he only needed rey AND that ben never really triumphed over palpatine in any way. it hurts to know that leia straight up had a vision about her son’s death but that she still seemingly gave up on him despite knowing that he was struggling and that she sent him off to train to be jedi with a luke, when apparently she could’ve done that herself. it’s disheartening that luke who believed even vader could be turned back to the light also gave up on his nephew, when he was just a boy no less. it’s disheartening that although he was the last skywalker (a fact only palpatine acknowledged!), none of his family nor his namesake reached out to help him. instead of telling the last skywalker to rise, they ignored him (as they had apparently done his whole life) in favor of a palpatine. ok. even though as the last skywalker, he really should’ve been the one to have the final kill against palpatine since it was HIS family that palpatine destroyed, he doesn’t. he’s motionless in a pit for the whole final battle. ok. that will never not leave a bad taste in my mouth. his whole family (except for han apparently i love him) gave up on him and clearly so did the writers. as a fan of the skywalkers and their story, this isn’t the ending i wanted for them. especially when luke and leia and han had given their lives to see him turn to the light. and for what? so he could be used as a plot device to conveniently bring rey back to life and then promptly die (even though they’re a force dryad and, according to jj’s own fucking canon, supposedly one) without any fanfare, emotional reaction whatsoever, or later mention? wtf? it’s disrespectful not only to ben solo, who is easily the best character in the sequel trilogy and one of the best characters in ALL of star wars, but it’s disrespectful to the entire skywalker line!! (and to adam driver, who deserved so much better than this shit. go get that oscar)

rey - by making her a palpatine, jj completely disregarded her arc. whatever your opinions about rey nobody, once they went with it, they never should’ve retconned it and turned her into a legacy character in the final film. it felt cheap. in my theater, there was no cheering about this reveal. because jj had never properly set it up and he didn’t even bother to reveal it an impactful way. but what’s most annoying about rey suddenly being a legacy character is that it completely disregards the fact that she was powerful on her OWN, without any famous blood making her that way. furthermore, by turning her into the chosen one and giving her the entire skywalker legacy (which felt like a slap in the face to the skywalkers imo), she did turn into a mary sue, one of the biggest complaints about her since day 1. she was overpowered, morally perfect, and never faced any failure. i struggled to root for her as the “hero” because i felt everything was handed to her on a silver platter. so not only did jj turn her into a mary sue and take her power away from her by turning her into a legacy, but he also destroyed the fact that her whole arc had been “seeking belonging” and a family. rather than having her final scenes be with her new found family, she ends the movie with her canon soulmate dead and no one but a droid by her side on a desert planet of all places. to add further insult to injury, she also disregards her family name even though they supposedly loved her and sacrificed themselves for her (despite the fact that they sold her but whatever) in favor of a last name of a guy she had barely known. she had more emotional connection to han or leia, but she didn’t take their last name. she took luke’s, the guy who had refused to teach her and who she had come to view in a more negative light towards the end of tlj. in this house i will not EVER be calling her rey sky- i can’t even say it🤢

finn - in all honestly, they screwed finn’s character arc in episode 1 when jj turned him into a lovesick sidekick who served as comedic relief. as a deserted stormtrooper, he could’ve had the most interesting storylines. and he should have. but apparently the writers forgot about him. although they mention his past BRIEFLY, it’s paid no real weight or attention. instead, he spends the whole movie once again trying to (possibly) confess his feeling for rey. and for what? probably just to bait finnrey fans and prove the character’s heterosexuality bc it goes absolutely nowhere. although we find out he’s force sensitive, that too is glossed over and has no lasting effect. he’s also made co general, which okay cool, but then he does nothing?? so while finn could have and should have been a main character with an interesting storyline, they turn him into your average run of the mill action hero with an occasional quip. john boyega, sweetie, i’m so sorry (but i guess that’s kind of what he wanted since he hated tlj, the only movie where he actually had a main role with any character growth?? idk)

poe - it’s once again evident that they originally intended to kill off poe bc he has no arc whatsoever. he gets a little backstory as a drug smuggler now ig, which really came out of left field considering the already established canon with his past as a pilot. he’s more of the same in this movie, except more unlikable than usual (imo). he’s still stubborn, occasionally funny, but mostly he just bickers with rey, which isn’t funny, at all necessary, and doesn’t add anything to the “trio’s” dynamic. he’s at his best when he’s with finn but then, of course, jj has to remind us of how straight he is every single scene so. another character like finn who could have been great, but with the lazy writing, he has no arc, no backstory, no character growth, so he’s just mediocrity personified and just kind of there.

zorii & jannah - both could’ve been awesome. both are just there for a brief introduction and to help the heroes with maybe one thing and that’s it. both deserved better.

the skywalkers - yeah jj really said a big fuck you to luke, leia, and anakin most of all. the WORST part of tros is the fact that it basically makes the previous six episodes useless. anakin’s redemption arc? what does it matter now? he didn’t successfully bring balance to the force. he didn’t successfully kill palpatine. and now his entire bloodline is dead. ok cool😎 thank you jj!!!! what a hopeful end to the skywalker saga!!!! i love seeing that anakin failed and wasn’t REALLY the chosen one. i love that luke and leia gave their legacy to a descendant of the guy who tried to tear apart and terrorized their family. that’s really nice. i love that anakin NEVER reached out to help his grandson who struggled with the dark just like he did. but that he came in just in time to tell palp’s granddaughter to rise😍 really hopeful, lovely ending. thanks again jj! thanks for making leia seem like a bad mother who sees visions about her son but just throws in the towel and doesn’t really try to help him?? wtf??? not my princess leia. also tros luke? truly the worst luke. i really have no other words, i’m just disappointed. jj let me down in every single way possible and ones i didn’t even realize he could.

palpatine - jj also managed to ruin the best star wars villain, a feat i didn’t even think possible. palpatine had always seemed scary to me because of his inhuman qualities. but in this one, he’s back with no explanation whatsoever. he just is. he somehow managed to survive (ok🙄) and furthermore he had a kid. what in the fuck? jj clearly read harry potter and the cursed child, but he clearly also forgot to read the reviews. NOBODY LIKES IT WHEN THE PREVIOUSLY UNTOUCHABLE/SCARY VILLAIN HAS A KID OUT OF NOWHERE. NOBODY. i seriously spent the entire movie wondering who the heck would sleep with him? that’s it. he didn’t seem menacing or at all like a threat. this movie genuinely had no stakes whatsoever (that’s why ben’s death feels so out of left field bc literally for what?! but i digress) also the final “fight” where rey kills him??? very lame. he supposedly survived all those years to be taken out like that?? no thank you, i’d like a refund.

in conclusion, thank you to jj for ruining my favorite franchise by killing off every last one of my favorite characters, destroying the skywalker legacy (& killing them off), ruining seriously every character, and leaving me with despair!!! while i’ll continue to watch star wars without including episode 9, it sucks that some of my joy is zapped from my favorite series. because this is how future generations will know star wars. with this shitty ending. and any future movies will have this canon. and that really fricking sucks. thanks, i hate it.

anyways feel free to message if you’re also in the depths of despair about how this all ended!! bc the more i think about it, the sadder/angrier i get.

[brooklynislandgirl]

Star Wars Asks

2. Which character do you want to be most like?

5. What planet would you most like to visit?

6. What planet would you most like to live on?

14. What is your favorite alien species?

20. What do you hope will happen in future movies?

22. Favorite droid?

23. What’s your favorite Star Wars musical piece or theme?

24. How do you pronounce Twi’lek?

Not So Long Ago || Accepting

II. Which character do you most want to be like?

Despite the fact that I have all my assorted favourites from Episodes 1-6, the Expanded Universe, and even the role playing games {I have yet to play any of the actual video games but I hear good things about them}, the one character I want to be the most like is of course, Han Solo. I absolutely love Harrison's embodiment of Han, and I love his cool, cocky, gunslinger/smuggler archetype. The morally questionable but does the right thing in the end, loyal to his friends person that I have spent 40+ years of my life watching. I consider myself cynical, sarcastic, sometimes irreverent, but I would also consider myself loyal to a fault, uniquely talented in some areas, and I'm a pretty decent shot.

V. What planet would you most like to visit? The simplest answer is Kashyyyk. The forested home of the Wookie species, with tree houses and beautiful lakes, everything that pale grey-green and misty. There's limestone spires and winding rivers and that's literally just the surface view. It's real life counterpart is Guilin, in the northern part of the Guangxi-Zhuang region of southern China.

VI. What planet would you most like to live on? I would absolutely love to live on Zelos II because of her moons and her landscape, and the fact that everything there is botanical and deadly but you know to set myself apart from my muse, I would choose Scarif. If we could get rid of the Imperial buildings and the like. Scarif comes across as a tropical island planet, sharing many characteristics of earth's Polynesian chains, but was in fact filmed off the Sri-Lankan coast, and on the southern Maldives. I would kill to see if Scarif also has bio-luminescent sea-algae.

XIV. What is your favourite alien species? It would again be unfair in the grand scheme to claim Zelosians as I do play one as a muse whom I love. So going for some variety, we're going to choose Nautolans. The amphibious race that produced heroes like Jedi Master Kit Fisto. One, they're cool to look at. Two, Kit Fisto wasn't a complete dick. Three:

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, I rest my case. But for real, I just think they're cool, and everyone else has their favourite races with head-tails, so I can have mine. XX. What do you hope will happen in future movies?

That the Haus of Maus will stop making them, honestly. There were few things I may have appreciated about TCW but that was specifically the clones and Kit Fisto. I saw the Solo film and hated it, except for Donald Glover who was perfect as Lando Calrisian. The less said about the next few movies the better and I have never seen the third film of the sequel trilogy. Of all the new films, Rogue One was probably the best, and even then it was not what I was hoping for save for a few scenes. Maybe the EU spoiled me. Maybe I am too entrenched in the original Lucas era sextology, and that is, in fact, the proper term for two trilogies or a series of six works, I'm not trying to be a funny bitch about it. Every time I look Disney is really shitting on something I have loved since I was a toddler. And I mean that fully and with sincerity. I was 2 years old when A New Hope was released into theatres, and it is the very first movie I ever saw. So what would I hope for? That Lucas or at least someone who shared his visions and passions, re-canonises the EU. That we get films based on the Rogue Squadron Series. That Ahsoka Tano chokes to death on a fucking porg. I mean, I'm not really asking for much, guys. XXII. Favourite Droid?

"Why do people keep hiring him? They're risking the wrath of the Empire." "Sir, I believe it's because IG-88 always gets the job done." ―Gurdun and Minor Relsted IG-88. <-- cool theme song.

XXIII. What's your favourite Star Wars musical piece or theme? It's my husband's ring tone on my phone. It makes me squirm with anticipation while sitting in the dark. I... *bursts into tears* am not worthy. John Williams NAILED it guys, you can all go home now.

XXIV. How do you pronounce Twi'lek? Maybe because I only read it in books for the longest time, and never heard it said aloud, but for whatever reason, I say TWI-lek. Twi as in twilight, lek as rhymes with beck. I don't know what a twee-lick is, or any other variation and will ignore any such pronunciations in the future.

[misseffect]

VIDEO GAME TAG

Me: gets tagged

Also me: immediately forgets every video game i've ever played

Thanks to @thealexmachina for this - it made me think about games I haven't thought about in years! Tagging @shepgarrus @zaeedmassanis & @garriante (but only if you fancy it).

Games

First game you ever played: oh boy, probably Monsters Inc on GBA. I'm a woman of culture, you see.

Favorite game: LoZ: Twilight Princess. It was the first game I'd played with a story that utterly hooked me. And my first LoZ title.

Game you’ve played through multiple times: Lego Star Wars. BF is making me watch the prequels atm and I keep recognising rooms from the games. If they just smash up those chairs they'll get some studs and an extra heart.

Game you hated at first but now love: Shadow of Mordor. Hate is a strong word. Didn't care for it initially and it's not normally my type, but it was actually a lot of fun.

Game you used to love but now hate: Okami. It's beautiful and the mechanics are cool, but there's this stupid fucking digging mini game that I just cannot beat. Non-optional mini games can eat my whole ass. I put it down last year in a rage and never picked it back up.

Your favorite game atmosphere/setting(s): RDR2. Rockstar's worldbuilding is second to none - the dialogue, the locations, the horses, the little bits of lore scattered through the world for you to find. Stunning. Very close second goes to BotW because the peaceful post-apocalypse vibe is really refreshing. And it also has horses.

A game with your favorite ending: LA Noire. Sometimes shit's broken and people are difficult and the bad guys get away with it, and there's nothing you can do about it but god damnit do we we try anyway. That final sequence in the sewers was some high-octane shit.

A game with the WORST ending: obligatory Mass Effect 3. Otherwise, Skyrim because it just never fucking ends. 100+hrs in and you're a Dragonborn Arch-Mage Dark Brotherhood assassin vampire Nightingale warewolf who could kill a Giant with a sneeze but half the quests are broken so you can't bloody finish anything properly.

Best character customization?: New Horizons. Fight me.

Hero and Companions

Your favorite playable character: FemShep, obviously. Corvo from Dishonoured is also very cool.

The funniest playable character: ooh that's a tough one. Arthur from RDR2 doesn't get enough credit imo. He's a funny dude.

Your favorite companion(s): Midna from Twilight Princess. The bit after the water temple where she gets hurt you have to take her to Hyrule Castle in the dark and the rain? Yeah. Honourable mention to Wrex from ME and Bekowsky from LA Noire. We only get them both as actual companions really briefly which a shame.

Companions you could live without: Thane. Sorry buddy, I just didn't care about you at all.

Relationships

Favorite game friendship(s): Arthur and Lenny from RDR2. FemShep and Ashley are hugely underrated in the fandom imo - there's a scene in the Citadel DLC where you both get hammered and start a bar fight. Just gals bein dudes. Also Phoenix and Maya from the Ace Attorney series for the 10/10 sibling dynamic and found family wholesomeness.

Favorite game relationship(s): Shepard and Garrus because I'm always a slut for relationships built on a foundation of mutual trust and respect. Also the one in Transistor. You know the one.

Favorite companion banter: gotta be the OG Mass Effect alien squad - Garrus, Wrex, Tali and Liara. I love how their interactions evolve through the games.

A relationship you weren’t sure of but loved: Alistair and the Warden. They got off on the wrong foot initially in my first Origins play-through but he's a sweetheart really.

A minor character you wish could be a companion: every Star Wars game should have a Gonk Droid companion option and that's the tea.

A character you wish you COULD romance: Morrigan. You expect me to believe the swamp witch is straight? Please.

Fun

Shoutout to a random NPC: ISAAC NEWTON IS THE DEADLIEST SONOFABITCH IN SPACE.

A game you love watching playthroughs for and want to play: the Uncharted series. I'd give anything for a PC port, Sony. ANYTHING.

Love watching playthroughs but won’t ever play: literally any horror game. Until Dawn, Dead Space, etc. But even then I never watch them full screen and usually only have one headphone on.

Online gaming or solo?: Solo. The only online game I really play is GTA V because I don't have friends.

Why do you play video games?: I don't read a lot at the moment so they get me my fiction fix, and games like Animal Crossing and Stardew Valley are thereputic. And I just think they're neat.

[rekkingcrew]

Campaign Debrief

So for nearly 2 years I ran an Edge of the Empire campaign with 3-4 players, mostly weekly. These last couple of months we’ve been using discord, which has gone great. I want to get down some of my thoughts about what worked and what didn’t. 

This is gonna be a big wall of text and all but two bits are gonna be under the cut: system and play style. 

Fantasy Flight Star Wars game system is legit my favorite system EVER. (Not to dick wave or anything, but that’s including D&Ds 2-5, Gurps, White Wolf, Blades in the Dark, Dungeon World, Deadlands, and a few miscellaneous other short form ones). The system of advantages and disadvantages, and especially triumphs and despairs rather than just straight successes and failures really opens up complex narrative opportunities and gives a chance for wild story beats that just would not have happened otherwise. The fights go fast but feel meaty and there’s a lot of room to pitch advantages to your friends so you’re not just waiting your turn. Character creation is granular enough that your choices always feel meaningful, and points can be spent anywhere, so you can really specialize and shape your character. 

We played very collaboratively and it made things AMAZING. Part of this is that we were all good friends and have played together for a while now. Our taste in what kind of story we want is similar- nuggets of drama scattered throughout, but mostly cutting up. A lot of the best NPCs and story suggestions came from my players rather than from me- our season one boss villain, Imperial spymaster “Uncle” Karston Severax, a pantoran ex-special forces black operative whose current public face was a Mr. Rogers-esque children’s TV presenter, for example, was someone my players started out and all of us collective “yes and” added to around the table, and he was JUST THE BEST. These kind of exchanges also gave us moments like the time our tech tried to blackmail the head of a security corporation with the fact that he was having an affair and he’d written just LOADS of incredibly cringey fanfiction; but the roll was such that the attempt ended with him finally getting the push he needed to quit a job he hated, get out of a marriage that just wasn’t working, and follow his dream of self-publishing. He even dedicated his first book to our slicer. Because it wasn’t a DM vs Players atmosphere, because we were all on the same page, I could ask my players “hey, what do you want for your triumph?” and “all right, so who is the NPC you know?” as well as just “that’s enough to finish this guy, what does this look like?” This campaign was 1000% better for sharing that world building load, and the players were all, I think, more invested. 

more below the cut. 

What Worked

One of the most useful things I ever did was start giving players morality pet NPCs that were their special hench people, and I’m embarrassed that I waited so long to assign one to our droid. 

The zero session was absolutely invaluable in setting the tone of the game and the relationship between characters, and I will bang this drum until I’m fucking blue in the face. Don’t meet in the first session. Sit the players down and say “how do you know each other, why do you stay together, what are some of your past adventures?” It’s just so much better. 

Cameos and ties to our other games, in what we’ve been calling “The Drax Kreiger Expanded Universe” have continued to be welcome pretty much every time. People were delighted to have a moment or two to slip back into old characters. 

I was able to identify what each player wanted and give them that. Brick’s player wanted quiet scenes with big character emotion, like his one on one pit fight the character didn’t want to have, or the letter from his mother telling him how proud she was of him, or the time in training where he tapped into how angry he really was and it spooked the character and everyone on the ship. Nyla’s player wanted a big epic, but also difficult space journey of good vs. evil, and so Nyla got a padawan whose parents she had possibly killed when she fought for the empire, she dug up the grave of her clone teacher’s order 66′d jedi for the crystal for her lightsaber, she got to cleanse a temple that was trapped in a fruitless struggle between light and dark, and a climactic lightsaber battle that was about possibly sacrificing herself for the good of others. TK’s player was deep into star wars trivia and space stuff, so he practically squealed when Verpine shatter weapons showed up, and he seemed to get a kick out of the Evocii, and also that time they put on wing suits and dove the atmosphere of a gas giant. It’s worth noting nobody was actually all that interested in the thing that turns my gears: complex mysteries with a lot of clues and investigation, and once I let that shit drop, things ran a lot smoother. 

Some of our best stuff was non-combat challenges, like climbing the cliffs of Naboo or navigating the deep undercity of Nar Shadaa. The guys reliably failed anything social, but environmental challenges were always appreciated. 

I always tried to make sure there was more than one way to do things. For any given mission, especially early on, I’d try to brainstorm at least three ways something could be accomplished. 

My party split up a LOT, but we found a sort of cinematic cutting back and forth to be really useful. When there was a big crit, or a goal accomplished, or something like that, we’d jump to the other party even if the fight wasn’t over. Sometimes that was only just, like, Brick and the guys doing drunk karaoke and saying to no one in particular “MAN, I hope Nyla’s having as fun a time as we are!” but it kept everyone involved and it wasn’t just people waiting their turn for 20 minutes at a time. Also people chimed in with fun advantages and disadvantages. 

I had everybody write backstories and whenever I could, I incorporated in things from what they’d written. Our second season was basically TK tracking down the guy who’d made him, a Thackwash alien with the same sort of shifting personalities he had. TK’s player hadn’t written much about the guy except that he’d been a salvage mechanic who constructed TK for protection when he got in trouble with the local mafia. Giving that guy complementary personalities for each of TK’s really helped stick the landing on that one, and the player really enjoyed having actually completed his character’s goal. 

It’s worth saying, we took some time at several points during the campaign, either individually or as a group, to talk about what we liked and didn’t, what we wanted more of, where we wanted things to go, possible directions for characters, mechanical issues, how to have a better game, group dynamics, all sorts of stuff. In a way it’s like sex: people have this fucked up expectation that you’ll just be good at it without communicating, and man, fuck that. Talking to my players was ALWAYS worthwhile.

I was always adamant, because it was a thing that bugged me when I was a player, that if a character had spent the points to be good at something, they got to be good at it. That made some things difficult, but I think it was the right decision. It took me a while to tailor fights right, and honestly a lot of times, splitting up the party was the best way to balance fights, but I never said to anyone hey that thing you spent all those points on, could you please not do that?

My players were excellent about encouraging each other to have serious dramatic moments. TK was completely ready to die in a fight, and when he lost a significant chunk of his programming, the way he chose to play it was really heartbreaking. Everyone came inside and had tea with Brick’s mom. No one stepped on anyone else’s fun when it was time to be serious, and everybody was great about cheering each other on, whether they were being funny or being dead serious. 

I FUCKING FINISHED A CAMPAIGN. IT HAD AN END. So much stuff petered out over the years, I was adamant I wasn’t going to do that. 

What Didn’t Work

Boy, my players had pretty much all the trouble trying to remember to use “they/them” pronouns for NPCs with neutral or alien genders. 

No one is interested in falling damage. Sigh. 

I did not keep good track of money or ship fuel or anything. The campaign didn’t end up relying on it too heavily (I was honestly expecting a much more Cowboy Bebop setup than where we drifted), but that was an area I kind of fell down. 

We never really got obligation working correctly and in the end we just ended up abandoning it. We kept doing the force morality because the lone force player was very into it and it was a huge part of that character’s journey, but for the rest having people show up to collect on obligation was sometimes not possible in the story- or if it was possible it was pretty cumbersome. Campaign did obligation by arc, and I think that’s a pretty useful way to do it- roll at the end of the arc for what’s coming next. 

Early on, I made way too many assumptions about what was an adventure hook for my players and what was an annoyance. Honestly, bits of this lasted pretty late. At one point I gave my players a spy for the larger rebellion they could totally talk to- he was even working with their resident bothan spy- but they looked at the senatorial assassination he was doing and literally said at the table “I think it’s best if we just walk away from all this.” And so they did. Which was frustrating, but, you know, it is what it is. They also never much cared about the hutt gang war. 

I let a lot of things drop that I would have liked to bring back before the end, but in all honesty, I think we were all running a bit out of steam. I would have liked to put in Brick’s old mentor, or follow up with the imperial governor that was a falleen in a human skin suit, or see more of the bounty hunter’s guild, or have a nice end thing with our bothan spy, or any of that. But I do think it was time to end it. And we followed the threads people liked. 

I had way too many NPCS.

What sort of worked

I had like 200 npcs and they were not all bangers. In particular, I let the party design their own ship, which I wish had played a bigger role (though it did really set the tone), and I let them design 2 npc crew who would fill in any party roles they didn’t want to play and guard the ship so they could go on adventures without worrying about it. The devaronian scoundrel was with the party to the end though I never really got him to be more than a joke, but the bothan spy kind of fell off, and while she made some appearances, she didn’t really have as big an impact as I would have hoped. She kind of got replaced by Nyla’s padawan, a hench mon calamari called Nezrene, who was a better fit with the party. But, you know, players will do what they like.

Factions. In the first bit of the campaign, my factions were a fucking life saver, because I could design scenarios with a sort of “what is each faction doing/ which faction hurts from this, which benefits?” By the second season we’d kind of abandoned them to go to the core, and by the third my group was solidly rebel, so the hutts and bounty hunters fell a lot by the wayside. I still think having a couple of broad poles of power, and having the players know them and their leaders, is a good call. But they do seem to kind of organically pare down on their own, and it’s easy to get caught up too much in them. Useful sorta?

There was definitely a point where my players just were not challenged by conventional challenges. We ended up doing most of the later fights that involved a lot of minions in montage. I’d have them roll their fight skills unopposed, just to see if they got any interesting advantage/triumph set ups. I still had boss fights that were mostly challenging, but there just was no point in throwing storm troopers or low level gangsters at them. Not when they have soak 8 and autofire, and that one talent that lets you kill every minion in a combat. Designings fight got a bit tricky, and in those big high level combats, despairs and triumphs come up a lot more and really sway the fight, which I like, but also it’s very hard to plan for. 

Mass combat was tricky. I did a lot of it toward the end because my players were generals in a rebellion. I always had them do the rolls and some of the narration, but that wasn’t always enough to make them feel like things weren’t very arbitrary. 

I personally love the rule that if you roll a despair shooting into an engaged combat you shoot your friend. Nyla, who got shot twice this way, does not. 

We started the game with a tech character who dropped out. Toward the end, we picked up another tech character whose player couldn’t do their regular stuff because of covid lock down. Neither of these characters could fight at all, and both were very differently oriented than the rest of the party, and that was tricky to manage. Additionally, the dude coming in at the end had like a year and a half of in jokes he did not get and there were 200 goddamn npcs. I tried to give him the lowdown on what he might have heard about the party, but it was a combination of too much information and not that much player interest. He did get to break a star destroyer though, and I think he liked that. 

I offered players XP to write backstory stuff, and later goodbye notes others could find if they kicked it. Not all of them did. In the end it made a negligible difference, and I still think offering the bounties on this is basically a good idea. 

What I would do different next time.

Three ring binder that opens and closes so I could move fucking NPC stats around. I filled two goddamn school notebooks with notes for this campaign and there were so many goddamn times I was like “I KNOW I wrote this down, but where?!”

Players felt a bit aimless when they didn’t have a specific villain. I’d planted a few in, but they took finding, or they were too easy to avoid. Next time I would have a few more people who were actively on my player’s tails. 

I would keep better campaign notes and/or ask one of the players to do so. I used to do recaps for the games when I played Rek. There’s stuff I KNOW I’ve forgotten, and more I’ll forget as time goes on, which is a shame. It’s a weird, ephemeral medium, but possibly I’m just spoiled by living in an age of easy reproduction and enormous storage where data is concerned. 

Better book keeping in general, really. 

When I did a mystery short, I wrote up a list of all the clues people could find but not where specifically they were, so that I could just jam them anywhere they seemed like they’d make sense whenever a roll called for a player to find something. I think I’d try to do that with player’s personal stories so they could be woven in a little better. I did a lot of flying by the seat of my pants. 

All in all, I’m pretty happy with how it went, and I’m ready to get back to playing for a bit. I loved DMing, and I more or less DMed the game I would have liked to play, but man, doing this all the time, or being the only person who does it? After a while, that’d be a lot, and I’m looking forward to the break. 

[innocentlittlestars]

Reylo/Star Wars Tag!

Thank you Christy ( @reylo-rises​ ) for tagging me ^.^

Rules: Answer the 25 questions and tag some people you think might like to play.

1. When did you start shipping Reylo?

Ah! This pains me, but not until after TROS. I’ve always been a casual Star Wars fan, but the endings was so disappointing it literally drove me into the arms of fix-it fic. In trying so hard to ignore reylo, DLF just drove me straight into their arms lmao.

2. Favorite Reylo moment?

All of them? Lol ^.^

Um..it’s a tie between, their second force skype

“You do?

“Oh you do.”

Ben subverts Rey’s expectations at every turn, and she’s trying so hard to hate him but she can’t. A monster doesn’t recognize that he’s a monster. Kylo/Ben doesn’t fit into the “completely evil” box she wants so desperately for him to fit in, and it drives her crazy. Also love how feral Rey is in this scene. She thinks she’s got him all figured out but she doesn’t and I. live. for. this. shit.

and

their last force skype when Rey sees Ben, not Kylo, Ben, and knows instantly that she’s not alone. That she doesn’t have to do this alone. and then jj/dlf said fuck this fuck that fuck you :/

3. Three words to describe Reylo?

Equal, Soulmates, Morosexual

4. Favorite thing about Reylo?

They are each other’s absolute equal in every way. 

5. Favorite character?

Rey or Finn. They are both done so dirty but they both have such heart and I wish they could have been developed fully. Honestly I’m more here for the potential of the characters (and how the fans portray them in fic) rather than what we actually got. Ben is my baby though. I wish I could hug him and feed him some soup.

6. Favorite droid?

R2D2 because we are both done with everyone and we both have potty mouths.

7. Favorite planet?

From the ST I actually love Kef Bir and I wish we got to see more of it. I also love Naboo.

8. Favorite spaceship?

Um, I’m not too knowledgeable about the ships. The Falcon probably.

9. Favorite alien species?

Uh, the one that looks like the devil. Devaronian. And Ewoks, cause they’re adorable.

10. Favorite actor/actress?

Kelly Marie Tran because I’m in love.

11. How did you get into Star Wars? 

My family has always loved Star Wars, and my guy cousins were super into it. I was always just a very casual fan until TROS. Kind of a...bad time to join the fandom lmao.  

12. Most memorable Star Wars moment? 

From before the ST, I always remembered the pod racing scene from the PT. And the over-the-top saber fighting from the PT, but honestly that’s my favorite! From the ST, when Ben says “ouch”. Lmao no, when Rey and Kylo murk all of Snoke’s guards, who suck at guarding.

13. Anakin Skywalker or Darth Vader?

I almost want to say Vader because he doesn’t have the fucking rat tail anymore. But Anakin...sans the rat tail. Like, bby Anakin. He was adorable.

14. Ben Solo or Kylo Ren? 

Ben. Yolo. Solo. Son of Han Yolo Solo. 

15. OT, PT or ST?

Uh, can I say....like, fanon ST?

16. TLJ or ESB?

TLJ. Like Christy, it’s probably my favorite.

17. ROTS or ANH?

ROTS

18. ROTJ or TFA?

TFA

19. TPM or TROS?

TPM

20. Rogue One or Solo?

Rogue One. I haven’t seen Solo.

21. Favorite quote?

I really very badly want to say 

He lost the star wars.

But seriously: “So this is how liberty dies. With thunderous applause”  by Padmé

22. Favorite meme?  

This video of Kylo singing work is so cursed, but it has me scream-laughing every time

23. Favorite gif?

This man right here officer!

When will a man ever look at me like that. Ugh, my heart hurts. (thank you @benandreykissed​ x)

24. If you could change one thing about the Skywalker Saga what would it be?

I literally can’t pick one thing. Rey isn’t associated with a legacy name, Finn/Rose/Poe/ get actual, well-developed character arcs, Ben lives and atones for his actions, Rey doesn’t have to be alone anymore

25. Top 3 Star Wars movies?

1. TLJ

2. Rogue One

3. TFA

(because I’m chaotic)

I’m tagging anyone that wants to do this!

[gffa]

S.I.T.H for the star wars asks? (oe any if those you haven't done already?)

I admit, I laughed at your acronym, thank you, I needed that tonight.  ♥ S.  Best Moment? In lieu of agonizing over the literal hundred moments I want to yell about how much I loved, one of the best moments in all of Star Wars is this one:

Obi-Wan did not have to go that hard, jumping out of his starfighter to literally launch himself like FIFTY FEET INTO THE AIR, twirling down onto the battle droids, just to be that fucking extra. There are lots of moments of the characters being extra, but what takes this to another level is what Anakin is doing right at that very second:

I LOSE IT EVERY TIME.  ANAKIN IS UNBUCKLING HIS SEATBELT WHILE OBI-WAN IS OUT THERE SLICING UP DROIDS. ONE OF THEM KNOWS PROPER SAFETY PROCEDURES, MASTER. And one of them isn’t boring, Anakin. IT’S THE FUNNIEST THING.  (Artoo’s little hope out of the starfighter like, “Beep beep, I can be an extra fucker, too, Master Kenobi” just adds to the majesty of this scene.) Bonus:  Literally every interaction Obi-Wan and Anakin have on Geonosis in TCW, where Anakin’s utterly exasperated voice as he says, “YoU dOn’T wAnT tO tAlK tO iT dO yOu?” adds ten years to my life every single time I.   Best Clone? ALL OF THEM, SOBS.  THEY ARE ALL GOOD BOYS (/GIRLS/NBS IF THEY SO CHOOSE) AND THEY ALL DESERVED BETTER. If I had to pick absolutely one, it’s a difficult decision, but I probably have to go with Rex, just because we get the most story for him and so I have the most time emotionally invested in him. That moment where he cries on the cruiser, when Ahsoka takes his helmet off, because he doesn’t want to kill his brothers, but he doesn’t see another way out, like, if I hadn’t already loved Rex, I would have done so then.  He’s so good and he tries so hard and that war took so much from him and UGH REX DESERVED BETTER. T.  Favorite Species?  Twi’leks and WHAT I WOULDN’T DO FOR MORE WORLDBUILDING ON THEM.  I’d love more worldbuilding for Togrutas as well, but the Twi’leks have just enough to make me fascinating, but not enough to satisfy. They’ve been treated so poorly by the galaxy, constantly occupied and enslaved and traded for sex, how do they handle that, even when the government changes?  Like, this is something I wish The Mandalorian had done with Xi’an--how was she affected by feeling like the majority of the galaxy saw her as a sex object?  That they know nothing about her, but assume she’s easy just because she’s a Twi’lek? Does Aayla or Finn have to deal with that, when going out into the rest of the galaxy, too?  Always a shock to their system, because they’re so used to how it doesn’t mean anything to the Jedi?  Why does Aayla choose more provocative dressing, while Finn chooses a dark, sleek full-length dress?  Does Aayla just not even care, because the Jedi don’t care?  Does she wear it as a refusal to give up her connection to her culture, refusing to let the galaxy change her?  Like her Ryloth accent is kept, so too are her clothes kept?  Does Finn wear her dress because it’s comfortable?  What meaning do their clothes have for them?  How about Sammo, how does/doesn’t being a Twi’lek affect him? How about Hera?  We got some very nice stuff in Rebels, but I want more, I want more of books like Dark Lords of the Sith that actually explore what it’s like to be a Twi’lek on Ryloth during the time of the Empire, I want their story from their point of view, and also more on how Ryloth works! H.  A Character You Used To Love But Don’t Care For Now? I wouldn’t say I hate him, but every time someone uses Qui-Gon as the Perfect Jedi, as a weapon to beat on the other Jedi, I find it more and more difficult to like him.  Which is frustrating, because I like Qui-Gon!  Qui-Gon loved the Jedi, he wanted Anakin to be a Jedi, he was complicated and less than perfect and he was kind of obnoxious as fuck at times but he was hilariously okay with that, he knew he was annoying at times and was fine with it, I love him in canon!  I just have grown weary in fandom.  (This is absolutely an invitation for fandom to amp up the Qui-Gon love in a way that doesn’t pull down others to prop him up.  ♥)

[takaraphoenix]

Review: The Rise of Skywalker

Gotta preface this before we get to the actual review for this movie.

Because... I’ve seen so many people claim that this was sooo bad and sooo badly written and honestly, ever since I joined this fandom, I’ve seen so much hate toward the sequels and so many people claim how they’re “ruining Star Wars” and I feel like... a whole lot of people really need to divorce themselves from the idea that Star Wars ever was this flawless franchise. Because it wasn’t.

Even before the sequels, the majority of this fandom has actively hated half the movies in this franchise. The prequels get so much shit all the time. And even now with the new movies, trilogies aside, Rogue One is relatively widely liked but Solo gets the prequel treatment of having a certain part of the fandom love it wildly and the majority dislike it.

Star Wars, from the very first one on, was always a mixed bag of good moments and bad movies, good writing and bad writing. It was always just a very silly, fun space adventure and I don’t really see why there are these insanely high expectations for it are coming from, because I don’t see a base for them in the previous movies...?

That being said, I think that Rise of Skywalker was a very worthy ending for the universe. And yes, not trilogy, universe. I know they’ll force more Star Wars, but let’s be real... the last Skywalker died, this is the end of this saga. And I think it was a good ending, it came full-circle in many aspects.

I joked about how Rey would find her dad just for him to die since so far she’s two for two in the “finding mentor and mentor dies within this movie” category and while... they didn’t find her dad, she did build a mentor-relationship with Leia. Who then died.

And I know this one is... different than the others, because Carrie Fisher died, rather unexpectedly so. I wonder if it had changed things had she lived.

I was genuinely surprised to see her in the movie, to be honest. I had expected the obnoxious opening text to summarize how Leia made a heroic sacrifice and the movie itself then opening to a large, dignified funeral scene for both, the character and the actress who played her.

I liked that they brought Lando into this; with everyone else having returned, that was really important. And I kind of like the little thing they set up at the end there, that Lando would take the enslaved kids and help them find their way back to the families they had been separated from.

Ben’s redemption was absolutely no surprise whatsoever, seriously this is a Disney movie and it’s a Star Wars movie, they were always going to redeem him anyway. The Reylo, admittedly, was a bit of a surprise.

With the whole thing where Finn really wanted to tell Rey something and how Finn and Rose were at a distance now after the last movie, I half thought they may be pushing toward that direction after all.

(I also half thought they were going to go Poe/Rey because... for some reason they decided to have that dynamic just fully mirror Han/Leia... even though it seemed wildly OoC to me personally, for the both of them, to be so... short-tempered with someone?)

But mentioning Rose, that was one thing I didn’t like. After how important she had been last movie, she was just completely reduced to background character now and it was very undeserved. She didn’t partake in the missions, though they had them at least ask her to go along, she barely got anything to do and didn’t really get to interact with any of them, not even really Finn. And don’t get me wrong, I didn’t want that romance, but I definitely wanted that friendship - and I had hopes that now that they were all united, I’d get some female bonding and girls being friends between Rey and Rose. But they kind of... forgot that they made her a main character last movie.

I think that hinting at Poe having a past-lover-he-may-still-love was tiresome and unnecessary, but it’s Disney so I genuinely wasn’t expecting that not to happen. Especially with how wildly loved Stormpilot was; I mean come on that was the only reason the Finn/Rose happened last movie already, because Disney got uncomfortable with people shipping Them Gays. My shipper-heart however absolutely took the co-generals and ran with it.

(Don’t get me started on that bullshit 0.2 second scene of two women kissing in the background. Genuinely fuck you, Disney, that’s not representation, that’s having something so you can try to defend yourself when people call you homophobes for always forgetting gays exist, but it was little enough so you can easily cut it out to milk China for money.)

I wished they would have... given Finn more. When we had that scene of him alone with that other deserting Stormtrooper and they talked and clicked so well, I kind of hoped she was his sister - since they had taken all the children. And I don’t know, I’m still kind of really hung up on the whole child slavery thing and all the trauma Finn had gone through; I wish he would have gotten something as closure.

There was one thing I genuinely absolutely hated and that was the bullshit Palpatine thing.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s still 100% on brand for Star Wars and I legit should have seen it coming after they plastered his ugly mug onto every poster, but that doesn’t make it good writing.

However - to stay in line with my opening preface - it already wasn’t good writing the first time around. I still dislike the whole “Luke, I am your father” nonsense. I absolute loathe the trope of “hero has to face off dark family member they didn’t even know was a family member”, it’s so cheap and forced because just how fucking likely is it, that all circumstances led them there?

That Rey, of all people, ran into Finn and got to the Resistance to get involved in this whole war to face off against her evil grandpa? C’mon.

Really genuinely from the bottom of my heart would have preferred Rey Nobody.

But that’s... the things you gotta accept in Star Wars, so I digress.

What I am absolutely not over is how they just straight up made Reylo soulmates...? Like? They really did that? I mean, come on, explaining their literal mind-link as them being two halves of the same and as bringing life? How was that anything but a description of soulmates...? Amazing.

I’m very salty about them killing Ben off though.

I absolutely hate that lazy writing tool of taking a villain, making him do a redeeming thing and bahm they will now be celebrated a hero without having to do much work on making up for past wrong-doings. Instead of living a life of doing good to make up for their past, they just do the Heroic Sacrifice and the writers are done here. (Side-eying Luke Castellan particularly hard here.)

He should have lived. Especially with how they set it up! They both give life, they both belong together to give life? How did that not conclude in them sharing a life-force...? Ben should have lived so he can do good in the future.

I like when previously villainous characters have to work to make up for their past deeds. I really do.

One last thing before I’m done! I HAVE A FAVORITE DROID! I LOVE D-0. HE’S A GOOD BOY. *^*

One of the most obnoxious things about the original trilogy, for me, were the droids. I do not like either C-3PO or R2D2 (yes, R2 looks adorable, but the untranslated beeping, especially in longer sequences and conversations, was just obnoxious).

BB-8 is adorable and has that dog-like charm to him, but that D-0 actually talks and is so cute? Like, unused to human kindness but slowly learning about it? Now that is a good droid.

So... I think that’s all I have to say about the movie? It was a good ending to the saga, it went full-circle by revealing that Palpatine was behind it all along and we got rid of that bitch for good now, it gave a lot of closure and had some really got points in it.

[sleepymarmot]

I finally left Taris and can post some initial impressions of KOTOR

I really appreciate that the devs straight up put a random name generator into the character creation window and spared me from googling that! More games should do this! *coughDragonAgecough*

Kinda mad that the beautiful old-timey outfit you’re given in the tutorial is just “clothing” and unfit for battle. I still carry it around and wear in casual scenes...

*Palpatine voice* UNLIMITED INVENTORY!!!

The game consistently freezes at about 40% of loadscreens and restarting it 20 times per day is very irritating.

Really funny how this is literally just a Mass Effect game in a Star Wars hat. Bioware really made this and went “Hmmm, what if we made a game just like this but in our own universe so that we didn’t have to pay royalties?”

Running as a Scoundrel with Mission and a droid is really giving me flashbacks of my Infiltrator/Engineer Shepard with Tali and Legion

Mission is my favorite and I’m adopting her

...The poor tutorial guy really got left on a destroyed ship and nobody bothered even mention that afterwards huh

Btw it was hysterical how the characters, fully voice-acted, were giving tutorial instructions without even any kind of paraphrase, referring directly to the keyboard and mouse control. Fourth wall, what fourth wall?

Carth seemed to be a Kaidan-Alistair type of character so I was taken aback by the sexist “romance” dialogue coming out of nowhere… I guess that’s the Han/Leia legacy – the man’s misogyny and the woman’s offended rebuke are supposed to be seen as flirting…

In general it is so noticeable this game was written by men

*takes three steps* [something seems to be bothering Carth] *turns a corner*  [something seems to be bothering Carth] *puts other people into the party, enjoys peace and quiet* *puts Carth into the party again to check if he has banter with other characters* something seems to be bothering Carth]

Anyway why am I supposed to pester him so much about his tragic backstory? Rude, and also, it’s not that interesting!

Are you really telling me that everything I’ve been doing on this fucking planet all day was for nothing?! What the fuck.

But that pales before the clusterfuck that followed. That string of cutscenes. Separate ones. Each with the capacity to show me an endless loading screen instead. And in about two or three attempts when I actually got to the turret minigame, I could not win it. I tried several different setting combinations. My machine is old, sure, but this game is still much older! But to see if a newer PC would be better, I installed it on the gaming one (thank god this game is small at least). Surprise, Windows 10 absolutely refuses to play this game in fullscreen. Finally, I managed to get it to work on Windows 10 in windowed mode with a mod that removes the turret minigame. It cost about two hours, a shitton of nerve cells, and most of the positive emotion I had felt about this game. Now I’m gonna go mull over the choice of the Jedi class and hopefully calm down.

The Jedi are as pretentious and offputting as ever, btw. I’m thankful for the [Lie] options because I picked them with great satisfaction. Fuck you, holier-than-thou windbags.

Yes, I’d been hoping to be a Dark Side user and, like in Mass Effect, ended up drowning in Light Side points after every damn quest. Ugh, why can’t I be edgy without needlessly fucking over innocent bystanders? (Who, in the end, all fucking died anyway so what was even the point...)

[atamascolily]

One of the exercises in Julia Cameron’s The Vein of Gold is to compile a list of favorite movies--or ones with images that resonate with you--and note any patterns that arise. Here are some of mine, with observations below.

(For the purposes of this exercise, I’m sticking with live-action films, but there’s no reason why there couldn’t be animated films.)

1. Star Wars Original Trilogy (Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi)

(Yes, I know this is technically three films, with three different directors and independent histories, but I didn’t feel like listing them all separately.)

2. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

Ironically, I love the first Peter Jackson movie, but not any of the subsequent ones. Which is not to say they’re necessarily bad movies, but they’re not the ones I’d want on endless loop. (Part of this is because The Two Towers and The Return of the King are essentially war movies, and also because I have to watch Faramir act OOC, which hurts my soul.)

3. The Secret Garden

4. The Matrix

I actually don’t have strong feelings about Reloaded and Revolutions--like, the actual plot is weird, but I am so not watching these films for plot.

5. Return to Oz

6. Inception

7. Labyrinth

8. The Terminator

Don’t get me wrong, Terminator 2 has a lot going for it, but it’s not the one that I can’t stop thinking about (except for that one deleted scene with Michael Biehn, which is a totally different story).

Thoughts and Themes:

So at first glance, it seems like I have two separate categories: ‘80s and ‘90s-’00s films. Or maybe it’s sci-fi and fantasy? The Secret Garden is the only one that even approaches some kind of realism, and even that is a pastoral kind of world that would not be out of place in the more peaceful parts of, say, Middle-Earth (especially Fourth Age). How about high-tech vs. low-tech, or cyberpunk vs. fairy tale? Or, even better, what about reality vs. illusion (or story vs. truth if you prefer)--which is also a major tension within every film on this list?

I’ll also note that most of these films have an epic color palette, with memorable landscapes that either serve as characters in and of themselves, or symbolize the mental states of various characters. These films are beautiful works of art, reveling in The Aesthetic, whether that’s the idyllic peacefulness of the Shire or the grimy back alleys of 1980s Los Angeles.

The thing that really got me when I laid it out like this--the thing I hadn’t noticed before--was that all of these involve a (sometimes literal) rebirth, transition, or journey from darkness to light (or light to darkness to light again, depending on the work). You could also substitute life and death here, and not change much.

This is, again, often quite literal: Sarah moves underground in Labyrinth, the Fellowship descends into the Mines of Moria, the secret garden comes to life with the spring, Dorothy confronts the Nome King in his underground lair. Neo wakes up to find himself naked and soaked to the skin, and flushed down the tubes like garbage, in a literal hellscape where the machines destroyed the sun (a motif that also appears in Terminator’s dystopian future), then literally dies and is resurrected at the end of the film. Luke goes underground to confront his own double--another recurring theme!--on Dagobah.

Duality and the exploration of one’s soul through another world is HUGE  big theme--or, to put it another way, The internal mirrors the external. This is a huge motif of Inception, which is a literal inward journey into a character’s psyche; and you could also make the argument that both Return to Oz and Labyrinth cover similar territory. Is Oz real, or is it in Dorothy’s head? Is Ozma a part of her, or is Ozma a separate entity? Is Jareth a real foe or is he the embodiment of Sarah’s fears and desires, a fantasy she concocts based on a story in a book?  And Frodo realizes he’s not so different from Gollum, that the sad shriveled creature is what he could become if he fails at his task--and, ironically, his kindness to Gollum is what allows the quest to succeed when Frodo finally succumbs to temptation.

Frodo in the The Fellowship of the Ring sees the world differently when he wears the One Ring, and it’s terrifying. Sarah Connor realizes that she’s left her ordinary world behind and crossed into Kyle and the Terminator’s reality in a moving speech, and The Matrix doesn’t even try to be subtle. Even The Secret Garden uses the eponymous garden as a metaphor for the blossoming of Mary’s own soul, and the souls of those around her (especially her uncle and cousin, but also Ben Weatherstaff).

These stories are also concerned with ecology, though it’s usually a background motif, since the main focus is on saving the world (or what’s left of it, i.e, humans). The Shire is paradise; Mordor is a desolate hellscape, dominated by a giant volcano. Kyle Reese breaks down over the beauty of the world, and Mary Lennox seeks to bring the lost garden back to life. Dorothy retreats elsewhere after the grey grimness of Kansas/the mental hospital.

There’s also a real tension concerning humans’ relationship to technology in these films. The Matrix is an illusion, and machines control the earth. Or the machines don’t even bother farming humans and aim to kill ‘em all. Saruman literally transforms Isengard from a tree-lined field to an industrial hellscape. The mental institution uses that freaky electrical machine on Dorothy. Star Wars is more accepting of droids and technology, but even there, there’s tension: Obi-wan calls Darth Vader “more machine than man,” and it’s not a compliment; the Death Star is built to obliterate entire planets and must be stopped twice.

I’d argue this theme goes deeper than human/tech--it’s really human/other, with technology providing one kind of other. There’s human-alien interactions in Star Wars and Labyrinth, not to mention Mary’s relationship with the robin in The Secret Garden, Dorothy’s friendship with Jack Pumpkinhead and the Gump. On a less friendly note, Frodo’s relationship with Gollum is the emotional crux of the Lord of the Rings.

These films also feature the classic hero’s journey, but often through a female lens. The protagonist usually has no special skills other than their strong moral character and determination--or even if they do have skills (like Ariadne*), they still serve as an audience surrogate or substitute, a stranger to the new worlds they visit. The protagonist has at least one faithful friend/companion/love interest to help them (sometimes even a team/found family), and often a mentor as well (who may or may not be a crusty eccentric). In the end, the characters must take control of their own destiny--Frodo chooses to leave the Fellowship, Luke throws away his lightsaber rather than kill his father, Sarah declares to Jareth “You have no power over me”. Sarah Connor yells, “On your feet, soldier!” and keeps going to the bitter end, and Mary Lennox is unafraid of her bratty cousin’s wrath and puts a stop to it when everyone else enables him.

*(As an aside, I know Ariadne’s not the main character in Inception, but I find the actual main character way less interesting, so she’s the one I focus on, just like I find Trinity far more compelling than Neo.)

Characters often have Meaningful Names: Morpheus, Trinity, Neo; Ariadne; Luke Skywalker, Han Solo. These films also feature a question of fate and inevitability - Luke has precognitive visions, Neo consults the Oracle, Sarah is told “there is no fate but what we make for ourselves,” with Kyle serving as an oracle of sorts with messages from the future to come. The Mirror of Galadriel shows possible futures for the Shire, too.

Another theme is that the protagonist must suffer and/or work hard for their transformation. Mary has to do the actual work of gardening; Luke has to sweat and do handstands (beautifully, I might add); Frodo has to walk to Mount Doom; Sarah has to walk the labyrinth, and Sarah Connor has to survive a fucking nightmare. Dorothy has to rescue the royal family of Ev and free Ozma; Ariadne has to design a dream-puzzle for the heist to work. Even Neo has to train with Morpheus--though he’s able to use cheat codes to download martial arts directly into his brain without having to sweat for it; his real journey is in self-confidence. 

In keeping with the stunning visuals, impossible feats are regularly featured, and excellent, cutting-edge-for-their-time special effects are prominent. Many also feature stunning fight scenes--the classic Luke vs. Vader duel on Cloud City; the “I know Kung fu” sequence in The Matrix; the clashes in The Fellowship of the Ring. Jareth has some excellent moves in Labyrinth, too, although he’s more inclined to dance than traditional battles.

I couldn’t resist contrasting my favorite moment in Return to Oz--rescuing Ozma from the mirror prison--with Ariadne shattering her own reflection in Inception, because that is such a moment for me, encapsulating all of the reality/illusion, internal/external, self/other dichotomies I mentioned above. (See also the Mirror of Galadriel above.) Inception and Labyrinth also share the motif of impossible Escher staircases, which I freakin’ adore.

It will probably come as no surprise to note that I also enjoyed films like The Dark Crystal, The Neverending Story,  and What Dreams May Come, which tap into similar themes and imagery. You’ll probably be able to guess that The Sword in the Stone is my favorite animated Disney film, too.

I also love a number of Asian films like Hero, House of Flying Daggers, and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, all of which feature beautiful landscapes and color palettes, stunning fight scenes and special effects, along with a healthy dose of the fantastic, and a focus on story vs. reality (often with a plot twist or surprise reveal at the end). This is unsurprising when you consider the strong debt both Star Wars and The Matrix owe to Asian cinema in terms of style, plot, and aesthetic. In those films, the tension is more society vs. self, but duality is still very strongly present.

If you notice any other patterns or recurring themes, let me know; I’d love to hear them! Also, if you can think of any other movies I might enjoy based on this, let me know.

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Solo: A Star Wars Story

I came into the Star Wars game late. My dad never liked them, and when I was growing up, he had pretty much a monopoly on what we watched on Saturday and Sunday mornings (prime catching up time for impressionable youths to see pop cultural touchstones from the past 20 years). I caught bits and pieces throughout childhood, but I never saw the entire original trilogy until I was 28. I’m a late SW bloomer, and the franchise has never felt like mine, not in the way that say, Harry Potter or the MCU does. I just want to be transparent about the background here so that everyone knows where I stand when I talk about Solo. Was this a quality, universe-expanding story that stays true to the spirit of the original films? Or was it a surface-level, unnecessary cash grab with nothing more to offer than “I understood that reference” jolts of dopamine? Well...

A bit of both, really. I liked a lot of things about this movie - it was, more than any other adjective I can think of, FUN. After the heavier tone of Rogue One and even The Last Jedi, it does feel like a welcome lightening of the Star Wars universe. However, some moments felt so obvious, to the point of pandering, that it took me out of the narrative and almost made me wince. Case in point - the cringe-worthy scene in which Han is trying to get off the slave planet he was born on and barters his way into joining the Imperial Navy. When the recruiter asks him his surname, Han shrugs - he doesn’t have one. “Who are your people?” the recruiter asks, and Han says, “I have no people.” After a pause, the recruiter types into the computer, “Han...Solo.” And the audience is supposed to go OMG GET IT BECAUSE THAT’S WHY HE’S HAN SOLO FUCK THIS IS A GREAT MOVIE I NEED MORE POPCORN. It’s so blatantly awful, and the real poignant moment - Han’s I-don’t-care-because-I’m-tough-but-really-I-care-a-lot delivery of the line “I have no people” - is completely brushed aside. So basically when the movie is doing things right, it’s fun, frothy entertainment through-and-through. When it’s trying to shove all the story beats of “origin story, this is an origin story, see what happened just then? It’s because of stuff we know you know happens later, do you get it, do you get it, DO YOU G E T  I T” it becomes a slog to get through.

Some thoughts:

Alden Ehrenreich (or, as I like to call him, the kid brother from the second episode of Supernatural) is having a blast, clearly, and he does a good job of letting Han’s almost naive goodness shine through his devil-may-care outer exterior. I think some people think that his take on the character is too nice, too safe, not gruff ‘n tumble enough to live up to Harrison Ford’s iconic role, but I appreciate the softer, more innocent Han we see here. 

But honestly the movie belongs to Donald Glover as Lando Calrissian, which was 97.9% of why I wanted to see this movie in the first place (the other 2.1% was seeing Thandie Newton as a space cowboy type person loading her gun and rocking that afro - and honestly fuck this movie for wasting her and her talent in about 15 minutes of glorified extra workv). I would watch Donald Glover do literally anything. I would watch a 3.5 hour movie just about Donald Glover as Lando Calrissian shopping for capes. He’s having so much fun here, and the film’s most emotionally resonant scene is his too, and I’m just so proud of him I can barely handle it. 

That emotionally resonant scene I mentioned belongs to Lando and his copilot, the droid L3-37, voiced beautifully by Phoebe Waller-Bridge. L3-37 is hilarious but mostly she is a force to be reckoned with, a droid who is Woke AF and is fighting for the rights of droids everywhere. My favorite line in the film is probably when she’s piloting the Millenium Falcon and Lando asks her, “What do you need?” and she replies lightning-quick, “Equal rights.” She’s played for laughs as a sassy sidekick until she’s not - then shit gets real, and her struggle for equal rights is made deeply, immediately personal. It’s an affecting choice, and Waller-Bridge’s voicework, as well as Donald Glover’s performance, make her big scene one of the standouts of the movie. I wish she had more screentime, because she was one of my favorite characters I’ve ever seen in the SW universe.

My biggest bone to pick is the inclusion of Qi’ra (Emilia Clarke). I get the bind the screenwriters are in - because if there’s no compulsive heterosexual romance at the center of a major blockbuster movie, there will be rioting in the streets, obviously. So they gotta put a girl in here. But this is a prequel so like...we already know she’s not gonna show up again...so um, why should we care? It’s a tricky position to be in because you want audiences to invest in this relationship, but not too much because there’s a princess General out there who we know is going to steal Han’s heart later in life, and you want that to stay as the series’ OTP 5ever. So what do you do? You get Emilia Clarke, the universally beloved, to be as compelling as possible and then disappear forever. I like Emilia Clarke as much as the next guy, and her performance here is good - not great, but definitely GOOD - but I just did not care at all about this relationship because she’s no fucking Princess Leia, y’know?

Seriously give me a movie about Lando and his capes. I’d go every day.

Also props to Donald Glover for flirting with everyone and everything, including Alden Erenreich. I’d watch a 3.5 hour movie about that too.

This is a fun flight of fancy, not a lot more, not a lot less. There are obviously some highlights that elevate parts of this to greatness, but for the most part, this is a light and airy way to spend 2 hours. It does not leave the lasting impression of pretty much any of the other SW movies, but I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing. 

[sethnakht]

Have you been reading the main Star Wars comic????? I feel like the end of the most recent issue (#49) was very much the sort of thing you would have all kinds of amazing things to say about, and I would love to hear alllll of your thoughts.

yes please let’s talk about that ending

I’ve been reading the main since Gillen came on board. He’s one of those rare writers who can really make me laugh — all those fabulous little jokes about comic-books, about what he himself does expressed through shape-shifters and droid programming — and think — the abyss sequence in the Jedha arc — while also selling me effortlessly on his grasp of a character.

Of his own characters, Trios has long been a favorite. Was I surprised by her choice? No. Was I delighted? Yes, very much.

Here’s a rambling explanation for why I like her and why I was delighted. Trios is one of those side characters who produces interest by mirroring characters Vader wants to capture but cannot, specifically Leia. (Which is also a refreshing change of pace, since most of the Vader comic is about his search for Luke / the upwelling of his memories of Padmé, not least as mediated through through Aphra.) Part of what made her fun in the Vader comic is the way she was positioned to make the reader imagine Leia, the way even Vader appeared to see in her the daughter he thought he had lost, the way he was at very least moved by her to imagine a father proud of such a daughter. If Vader and Leia are similar in their commitment to duty, Trios is like both of them (“We all do our duty, Lord Vader”). At the same time, she’s also potentially a contrast to Leia in her views on choice, which, while left implied, do suggest she’s more like Vader than his daughter. There’s a rapport between them as well, another reason why she’s fun — she’s not someone he’s going to kill over a polite disagreement, which means there’s room for a relationship there to be developed.

That a relationship does develop — and that it perversely mimics the relationship of a surrogate parent and child — that’s interesting to me. Not only as a mirror, but also a statement about Vader’s character (what kinds of relationship he is capable of, when at all, and where he takes his models). Much of the Shu-Torun arc is about lessons (Vader uses the word several times), and the physical parallels between Trios and Luke and Leia — Vader literally has her father killed, then slices off Trios’ hand like he does Luke’s, then gives Trios one of the last surviving pieces of Leia’s planet — strongly suggest that the lessons in question are not only being passed down through explosives and lightsabers and armies. This is made explicit through the contrasting figures of the Astarte twins, specifically Aiolin. Vader tells Aiolin — the girl he will go on to give the mercy death Obi-Wan denied him — that the lessons he has to teach are of no use to her. But he doesn’t say that he never plays the teacher to a student, and one could argue that those lessons are being imparted to Trios instead. The shifts in how Vader and Trios speak to one another resemble, in a most slanted manner, the relationship between a child and parent, or padawan and master — not only does Vader’s creation begin to emulate him, Vader also does step back from questioning her decisions (“as you wish”, he says instead) as though confident she has learned not only her place, but also his lessons.

Beyond how their relationship presents a massively fucked-up version of the (massively fucked-up) relationship Vader actually wants with his kid(s), the relationship Vader has quite literally destroyed for Trios by having her father and siblings murdered, beyond this highly unstable and blink-or-you’ll-miss-it surrogate parent-child relationship, one of the coolest things about the Trios arc for me his how the move from antagonism to something like mutual respect seems to actually have to do with something other than power. Vader spends a great deal of his comic talking about blasphemy and abominations and faith. So does Trios. “Blasphemy!” she cries when the rebellious barons desecrate a holy site of great personal significance to her, a place representing peace and family. (To be sure, Vader had destroyed an irreplaceable factory only a few panels before, but it wasn’t of spiritual significance.) Vader responds as ever — he destroys the attacking force — but his words to her afterward are notable. Instead of boasting about the Empire’s strengths or somesuch, he says, “I know little of your people’s religion, Queen Trios, but I presume this is a suitable punishment for their sacrilege”. I’ve yet to see this moment commented but find it significant that from the moment he acknowledges her religion, from the moment he punishes the people who dared deface a holy place, Trios is on board with his approach to the barons. And later, when he is delayed by Cylo’s trap, she speaks of her “faith” in his return. This sense on both their parts that they will prevail despite the odds seems to go hand in hand with a certain determinism, and one reason I love that ambiguous closing line from him to her, “there was no other choice” for queen, is because it permits that reading while also leaving space for the somewhat more charitable take spelled out by Triple Zero (”He could be implying that you are excellent”). By asking Vader whether he chose her well, Trios also reveals that it on some level does matter to her to have his approval, or perhaps rather that she wants to know whether she has truly earned his respect, or whether his deference was merely the illusion he threatened it would be. Although his response can be read both ways, by not outright narrowing things down to the latter, Vader arguably gives her what she wants (praise of her excellence) while placing that praise under the renewed sign of potential illusion. While he ultimately reestablishes his power with such a move (only he knows what he thinks, everyone else has to guess), letting her have at least an illusion might also be about as generous as he gets.

And then she returns in #38 with such a bang! For all that she’s no longer playing the same role, it’s clear how much of a mask she’s learned to wear. I love how she’s presented as someone who creates elusive comparisons, inevitably misread by those around her (not so unlike Vader) — someone who compares other Imperials to Vader, for instance, and judges them underwhelming on some scale known only to her; who looks into the ashes of a poisoned, wasted, once-holy moon and cooly compares this site of unspeakable horror to her own home as though they were in some way parallel. Her meaning there is clearly misinterpreted by the tank with a cybernetic arm (speaking of cybernetic limbs, has Trios replaced her courtly cybernetic gauntlet with a synth-skin hand??? I’m a tad disappointed), what’s-his-face; he thinks she’s simply confident that robbing the holy city of its final kyber stash will be easy. But her history — her religious leanings — already suggested in that first issue that she had come for some another purpose, that she could not truly be behind such a project unless she had undergone some significant change off-screen. That she ends up working with the girl she mirrored previously thus makes sense, but I’ll admit I was also waiting for a new form of contrast to Leia. (Making them too similar is only boring, plus having Trios become a rebel saboteur without additional storytelling to motivate a complete break with Vader would be unsatisfying, to say the least.)We finally got that contrast in #49, and I like how it’s nonetheless not entirely clear-cut: she’s conflicted, without doubt, she does like Leia, and yet “there was no other choice” shows her deterministic, fatalistic even, as it seemingly confirms, once more, that Vader was right about her, that Vader made her who she now is, that she sees the world as he does and not with Leia’s hope. (I’m hard-pressed to see her betrayal of the Empire as spontaneous or unbeknownst to Vader.)

Exciting to to think about what it could all mean / where it might lead. Does Vader know Trios sabotaged the Jedha mission? I suspect so, but if that’s the case, what does that say about his views on Jedha, on its significance? Or rather — did he encourage Trios to reach out to Leia specifically, to use Leia once more as lure by playing the bait? (Which is very meta: the character who represents what he couldn’t capture is now helping him do the capturing.) That would also be very much in character; he shows himself perfectly willing to sacrifice other Imperials (having Star Destroyers enter the asteroid field in ESB) if it will get him to Leia / Luke. But could one also hear resonances between a willingness to let the Jedha mission be sabotaged and a willingness to let the Death Star be sabotaged? Perhaps that’s too much of a stretch. In any case, Trios speaks to him as though he’s known for some time of her latest plan, but was it his or was this her idea? What are the conditions of her willingness to play bait, does he have something hanging over her head? How much does she truly resent the death of her real father, a man who was ready to sacrifice her for his own power? How much of what she told Leia is not just true, but also genuinely motivating for her? Is she working for him purely because being intimidated by Vader, as she puts it, sets every other concern into perspective, is she doing this out of fear? Or do vestiges of that however illusory respect between them also continue to play a role?

Sorry this got so long! thank you for thinking of me, this pulled me out of sadness. Can’t wait to hear your thoughts, my friend.