#also my period just ended but that has. been an emotional factor

[waitinqroom]

why is this week HELL

[exopelagic]

talking to him more very much achieved. we just talked for like 4 hours in the kitchen holy shit I need to sleep

[rosedforbes]

I've been working on this for an embarrassing amount of time, but i finally mustered the courage to post it! this a gift for @galvanizedfriend , my favorite autor, moot, and dare I say friend, on tumblr! Yokan, I'll never stop saying that your fictions are the only thing keeping me sane at the moment, and they've always been a tiny lantern during some tough periods of my life. I really hope you'll like this little Drabble about Kleve 🙏

DISCLAIMERS: Eve is NOT my character, she's from Yokan's series The Wolf ! also, this is my first time ever writing a fan fiction, and English is not my native language, so please, have mercy.

maybe there's a god, after all.

That's the thought that has been crossing Klaus' mind for sixteen years, every single time he looked at his little girl.

After his experience with Marcel, Klaus has realized that raising a child into his own reflection is not a smart move. In fact, if Eve had turned out like her father, it would've been the very end of the whole human - and inhuman - species. Luckily for everyone, his beautiful princess is essentially the mini version of the only woman who shares the custody of his immortal heart with her: Caroline.

They couldn't be more similar if they tried. Like mother, like daughter.

If it wasn't for some specific details that Eve couldn't have taken from anyone but him, Klaus thinks that people would start questioning if Caroline made Eve by herself, without the contribution that is usually required to create another living creature.

That, is all him.

Even if he's quite proud – and grateful — about how Eve's turned out just like her magnificent mother, Klaus can't help but smile when he witness the appearance of one those details he mentioned before: the fondness for art, the passion for swords duels — a voice in the back of his mind reminds him of something Caroline said about this specific factor, "it's called fencing, Klaus. You don't need to kill your opponent anymore to prove your victory." or something along those lines —  the constant presence of dark humor and sarcasm in any of her conversations, and her gigantic, stormy blue eyes that are accompanied by a pair of dimples and a wicked little smile whenever she got something on her mind.

Something that Eve clearly hasn't taken from him though, is her way of showing emotions. Just like his wife, Eve wears her emotions like a second skin, which leads to her being a terrible liar. If she's happy, then the room will light up as soon as she enters it, and everyone can't help but be drawn to her joyful behavior. On the other end, if she's feeling sad, angry, or any other kind of negative emotion, then... Well, she would keep her mouth shut and open it just to make salty remarks, keeping an annoyed — yet adorable, if you ask him — little pout on her face.

That's how Klaus knows that something is wrong.

As soon as he sets foot in the compound, he's greeted by a very common view: Freya and Eve, sitting around the table of the living room, reading and chanting spells.

Normally, Klaus would walk towards them just to make them aware of his presence and to steal a kiss on his daughter's cheek as a brief salute, but he soon realizes that Freya is the only one writing down something in witch gibberish, while Eve is just quietly looking at her aunt, with a frowned expression all over her face.

His little wolf is so caught up on Freya's doing that she doesn't notice him until he's behind her, trying to understand what kind of spell his sister is casting, with a hand gently touching her shoulder. Eve tenses up at the touch, turning her head to look at him almost as fast as a regular vampire. As soon as she sees him though, she relaxes a little bit, offering him a tight lipped smile.

"Hey, Daddy," she says, voice so quiet and hoarse that he probably wouldn't have heard her if it wasn't for his vampirism. " 'm sorry, didn't hear you coming in."

Hearing Eve talking with such a tired and low tone makes his heart explode with concern. She's pure sunshine, his daughter, this cloud of negativity does not belong to her. Nonetheless, he tries to mask his thoughts with a tight lipped smile, looking down at Eve, "Don't worry, sweetheart," He says, moving his eyes to his sister, who hasn't left hers from the grimoires spread around the table even as he introduced himself, "Freya, care to explain what's happening or do I have to guess?" He asks with a tone that indicates nothing but irritation.

Klaus arches his brows in confusion, his gaze switching between Eve and Freya, as to ask for one of them to elaborate what he just heard.

Freya finally looks up, if only to send him a not-so-friendly glare, but before she can snap right back at him, Eve takes word, looking at him like she's about to have a nervous breakdown "Apparently, I'm on house arrest until the Jury," she indicates Freya with her eyes, before turning her attention back to him, "tells me otherwise."  She concludes, and the exasperation of her tone is almost touchable.

It's Freya the one that, with a sigh, steps in. "Some witches have been messing around with a kind of magic way too difficult for them to understand, leading to an imbalance that covers all New Orleans." She explains, rubbing her hands on her temples. "Long story short: right now, every witch in New Orleans is having trouble controlling their magic, especially the younger ones like Eve. In addition, being the tribid gives her an enormous amount of power which is hard to control on a good day, so it's better if we keep her under control, in a limited and safe space."

Eve rolls her eyes as soon as Freya concludes, shifting her position to show him the magic-restraining bracelet on her wrist. "I haven't seen this freaking bracelet in years. I thought I was finally free, but no, some dumbass witch thought it was a good idea to mess with something way too big for them to understand, turning me into a fu-"

"Language." Both Klaus and Freya interrupts her, giving Eve a warning look.

she glares at both of them, visibly annoyed.

"turning me into a freaking bomb." she grumbles, looking down at the pages of the grimoires.

Christ, Klaus thinks, he's losing points as the cool parent.

"Dad?" Eve says, looking at him with an arched eyebrow, like she's expecting something from him. "Are you still here? You haven't threatened anyone since you heard of this, and it's more concerning than a bunch of low-level witches messing around." She concludes.

Klaus takes a long sigh, pulling out his phone from his pocket to send a message to Caroline and the rest of the family. It takes all of his willpower to not storm out and look for this gang of inconsiderate witches, accompanied by nothing but his fury, showing them the treatment that is reserved specifically to the ones that put his daughter in a bad mood, but he recognized the fact that this situation is already unsteady, and there is no space for his impulsiveness, yet.

Well, the sarcastic remarks are only funny when they're not directed at him.

"Trust me, Eve, I have lots to say, but none of it is appropriate in the presence of a child." he retorts, switching his attention back to Freya. "I've sent a message to Caroline and to our siblings, they should all be here in about 40 minutes."

Freya simply nods, gathering all the magic stuff from the table. "I'll call Vincent." she stands up, giving a kiss on Eve's head. "I'm pretty sure he's more informed than us at the moment. Besides, another witch would be helpful."

"what am I? a ghost?!" Eve snaps when Freya disappears in her own bedroom. "I can't use magic, I'm on house arrest, this handcuff is back around my wrist and I haven't even had my daily bignets!" she explains desperately, curling on herself, resting her chin and arms over her knees.

Klaus can't help the low chuckles coming out of his mouth, something that earns him a dirty look from his little wolf.

"I'm glad you find my misery amusing. Father of the year, really." Eve says, enunciating her pout even more.

"Not at all, sweetheart. To be completely honest, I would love nothing more than to go fetch those witches myself and show them what happens when someone dares to upset my daughter," Eve promptly rolls his eyes at that, but he sees how she's trying to bite back a smile.

"However, Your mother would eviscerate me if my impulsiveness took place in a delicate situation such as this one."

"Then what do we do while waiting for mom to come home?" Eve says, and truth to be told, patience has never been a strong suits of her.

"Well, I did get that new painting set you've mentioned lately." He says with a grin, observing how Eve's pout changes to a wide smile between record time.

"The pink one?"

"Do you even have to ask?"

"You're the best!" she chirps, jumping from her chair to wrap her arms around his waist, the bad mood evaporating completely from her body. Klaus can't help but smile when he looks down at his daughter, holding her close to him. Oh, how he wishes time would stop, just to remain like this for at least a decade, with his little girl safe, sound and happy in his arms, where no bad intentions can reach her.

"Come on, sweetheart," He says, grabbing her hands "let's see if those colors actually blend on their own." he concludes with a wink, leading her towards the art studio. He knows this happiness is going to be short-lived, but the least he can do is to keep Eve's mind occupied, distracting her from the stress of this situation. As he enters the room, Klaus notices that he's running out of dark red acrylic.

Well, it appears those witches are going to be useful, after all.

[charmedreincarnation]

My shift to Bnha

I’ll start with the basics. For starters my reality is a bit different. The legal age is 25, so therefore school duration is longer, and our ages are different. I start UA when I was 19 years old, which made me a year 1 student. my parents are both prominent figures in hero society, and I was an only child to them. I only add this because I think it’s important to acknowledge background information because it shapes your experience and your placement in society, especially in a world filled with heroes everything is ranked and merit based.

UA .⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

Contrary to popular belief, at least in my reality school is very much emphasized and just as important as hero work. For me a typical day looked like, getting up at 7:45 to prepare for classes that started at 8:30 and ending at 5. We do have a one hour lunch break, and a specific period to work on our specific quirks alone any way we see fit. A lot of people do use that time to slack off and hang out with friends, but they’ve recently become very strict about it. Credits to to Tenya Ida for informing the board of what people were really doing ! A lot of people were mad but honestly I am a teachers pet in this reality so I kind of appreciated it.

I can’t speak for the other classes, maybe it’s because of everything we went to, but we are not a class we are genuinely family. I am closest to Izuku, Sui, Ochacho, Mina, Todoroki and MoMo! Not in any particular order. I’m not going to talk about everyone but here are some of the reasons I love them <3

•Mina is just as extroverted quirky and bubbly as you would expect. Shes one of those people you meet and you can’t help but adore because they energy is so welcoming and they’re so loving. She’s kind of a prankster and a rumor starter and I find it hilarious. You can’t keep anything from her, though but once she has a narrative she has narrowed upon, you have a better chance of changing the devils mind.

For example i talked about this in a different post, but she started a rumour that bakugo is in love with izuku and that’s why he’s mad all the time. It got back to bakugo and he threatened to turn the cafeteria into a live bake oven. It’s honestly hilarious how she can make a whole room laugh. Or make anyone mad.. I guess it’s a talent regardless.

•Sui is the sweetest girl ever. She kind of keeps to herself but she’s honest and what you see is what you get. She’s also kind of emotional and I am kind of a cry baby too there so we get each other. We really just want to do our best and see everyone succeed. I would say both of us made friendships are bigger priority than hero training and we have both been called out for it too.

•Ochacho is very similar to Mina but she can also get down to business when she needs to. Everyone loves her, and her powers are super helpful in any situation, like for sneaking out quietly… but I wouldn’t know anything about that. I vividly remember having a conversation about our hero progress and she’s deeply insecure. She grew up impoverished and Monterey compensation is one of the reasons that really encouraged her to be a hero. I remember one time she was telling me how impressive I was during the first few weeks of school because I had a better handle on my quirk than her. She said something of how I was meant to be a hero. It made me sad because I admired her will and determination more than anyone. I had so many factors that put me ahead in some of my peers. My mother is a pro hero and I went to a profound middle school that molded me to be ready. I told her she was born to be a hero and I was made to be a hero. I was being honest and I didn’t think it meant anything but she always reminds me of how she thinks about that anytime she’s in a situation where she needs help. Nothing made me happier

•Momo and my quirks are very similar. My quirk is called clairvoyance somnium, and my hero name is dreamer. Kind of what she can do but I visualize whatever I need. I can also do more things that I won’t get into but a lot of it, I was inspired by my shifting methods ! Anyways she’s the sweetest and we live pretty close to each other so I’ve seen her around for a while. She’s honestly very gorgeous and we both struggle with insecurities and anxiety, so she really is someone I relate and rely on. Maybe it’s because our quirks or so similar or we have similar backgrounds and personalities but… she’s probably the person I am closest with! But I really do love everyone equally

Bakugo .⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

Ok lots of people ask about him so let’s go.

Yes he’s so loud and always angry. You know I thought i would be scared of him but I honestly even I even give him snarky remarks sometimes (in a nice way because I am so nice in this dr) but wow he is the loudest person I’ve ever met in any dr but his powers are amazing we all respect it

Contrary to popular belief..no one is scared of him. As angry, loud and aggressive as he is he has proven time and time again all he wants to do is be a hero. Honestly it surprised some of us but everyone knows he has kind of good intentions under his wrath ??

He also makes everything a competition and he’s actually good at eveything. He’s good at school I’m pretty sure he placed after me in mid terms ! I got third and he got fourth. He’s a great cook and baker. We had a baking competition and he placed after sato. We made ramen and he made the best ramen ! Like he’s not as dumb as he looks. He’s also in a one sided competition with Todoroki but as we have all noticed he doesn’t give a fuck.

Powers .⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

This may be egotistical but I could not imagine not being a hero in a world with 80% hero. Don’t let the league of villains hear this it will fuel their fire. 🥲 in all seriousness we are lectured that we are not better than anyone, and we are simply stronger than other people and that is it so we shouldn’t let it conflate our egos. The only way we would be given the green flag to pat our own backs is when are abilities begin to save millions of lives. But then I guess if we’re only being heroes to look good then would that really make us heroes. At least that’s what I wrote about in my English essay. Present mic did in fact eat it up, I got an amazing grade on it. But that’s not the point. The point is it’s easy to get a big head but we were simply genetically lucky, not better, smarter, etc.

Now that philosophy is behind us, having powers is so cool and coming back here the limits of other realities having no bounds never fails to amaze me. Our quirks are an extension of ourselves and literally are us. It’s not second nature, it’s first nature after having these abilities for so long. Especially my quirk, if I wanted I could “dream” 500 million yen, and well I wouldn’t be able to put it in the bank but I digress. Finding out what your quirk can do and how far your cbs push your limits always allows us to be going through moments of self discovery. Having a quirk is honestly it’s own life alone, and I genuinely could not be happier.

My favorite classes .⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

As a student in this incredible universe, I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to pursue many amazing topics of study.

One class I took was Hero Studies, where we learned about the many different hero theories and methods of justice, as well as what it takes to become an effective hero. We also discussed the history of the hero world and its evolution throughout the years. It was a fascinating subject and definitely one of my favorites!

The next class I took was Quirk Studies. Here we learned all about quirks, their effects on people and how they can be used to help protect civilians and stop villains. We even discussed how to best work with a partner with a different quirk, and how to combine two quirks to create a unique and powerful attack.

Finally, I also took a class called Combat Training. This class taught us all about combat techniques and how to use the environment and our natural abilities in order to survive any situation. We learned how to effectively dodge and block attacks, as well as how to use our quirks to create powerful attacks.

We of course also had the general classes of math, English, science, math, and music

The classes at UA High were some of the most interesting classes I have ever taken and I am so grateful for having the opportunity to explore them. Not only did I learn a lot about the world of My Hero Academia, but I also grew as a person and as a hero.

Random funny story .⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

I’m going to tell you one of the funniest most embarrassing things that happened during the UA sports festive. This happened during the third event, when we were in teaams.

I was with Izuku, mei, Ochako, and fumikage. Everyone is trying to steal the headband from us because Izuku has all the points ! Everyone was targeting us and it was so unfair. during the last few seconds I started running to dream us a tower so we can hide and to grow into to the skies. Then someone came so they threw me the headband and i I was waiting for them but then they got attacked and they told me just go without them !?? I was literally shaking and my anxiety was at an all time high time so I quirked my tower or whatever and made it grow and then the time ran out! I had the headband and we thought we won and we were cheering but umm no. I was the only winner technically because I wasn’t with my team. BUT because that took away FROM the point of the team work part I was deducted points from my own Individual points because that wasn’t the point of the challenge. Honestly you win some you lose some. It was a fun experience regardless.

Also honestly i shifted here around the time of the World Cup, which I could not care less about, but I get the hype of sports witnessing Izuku’s fight against Shinso (manipulation guy.) it was so awesome !!! I was at the edge of my seat the entire time!!! So I guess Now I understand how some people feel about sports lol. By the end of the festival, I got third place overall and my mom was so proud of me. It was the honestly a great feeling.

Random dump with no correlation

my mother (Uwabami’s) Quirk gives her a trio of live snakes growing from her head. One of the snakes have acute senses, allowing her to locate hidden criminals and disaster victims.one snakes also has a scent that can make her victims mindless slaves, one snake produces poison and attacks her victims.

my father who also attended UA with my mom has Squirmy Fingers (can precisely bend and control his fingers, giving him great dexterity) As well as a High Scientific knowledge Skills IQ in engineering. I found this interesting because usually children are a combination of their parents quirks or either or, and mine has nothing to do with either lol.

Todoroki’s pretty smart though he places after Bakugou in the mid terms. he also loves to read ! He’s also politically educated and actually had profound knowledge on the history of heroes and how and why he believe hero’s and villains came to be so.. surprisingly he is more philosophical than I would think. He doesn’t really talk about it or bring it up because if you have a good conversation with him and get him to open up it is always worth.

Food

Tbh to no surprise the food options were eclectic and varied. There was something for everyone! I had everything from traditional Japanese dishes such as ramen and sushi, to western and American-style dishes like pizza and burgers. I even had access to a variety of international cuisines like Indian, Chinese, and Korean.

One of my favorite places to get a good meal was the school cafeteria. Every day it was full of delicious options, from freshly-cooked dishes to the convenience of pre-packaged items. There were also lots of drinks and snacks available. On certain days, the cafeteria also served special meals such as curry or tonkatsu.

If I was looking for something a bit more fast-paced, there were several food stalls and restaurants around town. I could find an assortment of things like ramen, takoyaki, and okonomiyaki. There were also locations that offered more unique dishes such as Japanese-style hamburgers or omurice (Omelette Rice).

Although I often ate at restaurants, I also cooked meals in my dorm room. I could make simple dishes with ingredients from the local grocery store, like fried rice, or make something more complicated with ingredients from the nearby specialty grocery store. I even tried my hand (well with sato as well) at making dango, the traditional Japanese dessert.

Tbh No matter what type of food I was looking for, UA had it though. With all of the different options available, there was something to satisfy whatever cravings I had.

I also write and speak in English so don’t ask any language questions because I do not know

[i-heart-hxh]

Could you ever see yourself falling out of love with hxh completely? I ask because I find myself going through phases of being obsessed and then not thinking about it at all but I always find myself coming back to it. But sometimes I wonder if one day I’ll just never come back. I feel like this fandom is really emotionally tiring to be w sometimes bc of how rarely togashi releases chapters, it feels like there’s kinda no hope? lol

It really helps though when I see users like you who have just been a constant for so long though

Hello!

Hmmm, I strongly doubt I'll ever move on from HxH. For one thing, once something truly wins me over I'm often a lifelong fan (I have multiple things I've been a fan of for many, many years and still deeply love), and also I feel like HxH has a few different factors that make it a source of endless fascination for me.

It's a multi-layered masterpiece with many different aspects and details to explore and enjoy and notice upon revisiting it

It fits my personal taste and interests very well, both as a series and as a fandom

The emotional hold it has on me has yet to fade at all--I think it just resonates with me so deeply that it's become a well of emotion that continues to fill

That said, part of how I can sustain interest in things over a long period of time is because I don't limit myself to HxH by any means: I watch/read a lot of other anime/manga, and I have other hobbies and interests as well. Even though I'm definitely obsessed with HxH primarily at this point, I'll get side obsessions with other things that give me some variety.

I definitely don't expect others to feel like they "have" to stick with HxH or any other fandom interest over the long-term, though, even though that's what makes me happy. Please do what feels right to you--whether that's staying, coming and going when you feel like it, or leaving and not coming back. There's not a set right or wrong way to enjoy things and ultimately only you can determine what brings you joy and what you want to spend your time and energy on.

It's true that the future of the series is very up in the air; it's certainly possible we won't ever get to see the end. But, I'm grateful for every chapter we get, I'm grateful for Togashi's hard work and amazing storytelling, and if we don't ever get to see how it ends, I'm still happy to have been on the journey nonetheless. I've taken Ging's words to heart in that sense. If Togashi is unable to finish the series, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, but in the meantime I'll keep cheering him along and being excited for what's ahead.

[susagnon]

Katsuki and Izuku are not best friends, part 1

I have seen people refer to Bakugou and Deku as best friends, especially after Bakugou took the hit from Shigaraki for Deku.

I disagree. They are not best friends.

It’s all but explicitly stated, that within class 1-A, Kirishima is Bakugou’s closest bestie, while Iida is Deku’s.

For the majority of the time that they knew each other, Deku and Bakugou were not even on friendly terms. I'd say they would barely qualify as friends - not to mention “best friends” - even now (latest chapters at the time of writing this post).

It has been jarring (and heartbreaking at times) to listen to Deku call a person a friend, while he still had been actively fearful of them. My reading of that is, that Deku mainly refers to Bakugou as a childhood friend, because he has no idea how to describe his relationship to the latter otherwise. The fact that Deku didn't had a single real friend until entering UA might also factor into this.

Even during their childhood "friendship" stage, Bakugou used to treat Deku like a lackey, at best. But never like a true friend, because enjoying to make someone feel miserable, just to feel better about oneself, is not the same as enjoying their company as a friend.

A more charitable interpretation of their early “friendship” instead of leader and lackey, is that of siblings. Bakugou is the older, and Deku the younger brother: His whole life, Deku has looked up to Bakugou. On the other side, for most of his life, to Bakugou, Deku used to be that scary annoying thing that wouldn’t go away, no matter how much he tried to scare it off.

With not much age difference between them, the stage got set for the development of rivalry.

...

Oftentimes, siblings with this type of dynamic end up drifting apart and being rather distant - either for an extended period of time (in many cases until they reach adulthood), or even forever.

As Bakugou and Deku ended up in the same class at UA, the new environment shifted their dynamic instead:

Deku formed connections with other people. While Bakugou and All Might remain the biggest influences on his life, he gained the physical and psychological strength to stand up to Bakugou during key moments and high-stakes situations.

The "From now on, Deku will be the name of a hero!" - moment of awesome, where Deku announced himself unwilling to be Bakugou's shoe mat any longer, was basically the start of his emancipation from the latter

To Bakugou, this declaration from "loser Deku", their new classmates’ warm reception of Deku, and their cool reception of himself - the opposite of what Bakugou had been used to up until this point - made it apparent to him, how up until then, he had been swimming in a very small pond.

Bakugou reacted to his own feelings of inadequacy and the disillusionment that threatened his self-image, like the mature, self-reflecting person that he was:

With more misdirected resentment, and more violence. Alternating between distancing himself from Deku and seeking him out.

Like the mature, self-reflecting person that he was, Bakugou also didn't talk to anyone about those inner turmoils.

Instead, he let them boil over; culminating in him forcing Deku into a nighttime rumble to sort through his own emotional baggage.

The positives that came out of it, were that they reached some sort of a mutual understanding, and Deku gained his own secret keeper. If I had to pinpoint a starting point of their "friendly" terms era, it would be that scene.

But that alteration didn't make them best friends. Neither did other significant "BakuDeku"- moments that followed.

[thats-not-okie-dokie]

WELCOME HOME MARCH 9TH UPDATE SPOILERS!

One thing I don't think people are talking about enough is Wally's phonecall and the song choice of "Toyland". I know what Eddie went through is certainly the meat of the update, and while I haven't picked it apart myself, I've read a TON of very interesting theories on it. And some of which I agree with, so for redundancy's sake, I won't dwell on it for long. Whatever happens next, I know our beloved mailman is not okay-

But this post isn't about him. I bring up the song choice of Toyland because I find the lyrics to be an interesting parallel to the puppets "waking up" to the real situation they're in, whatever horrors that may be. The fact that Wally's singing it, and that we know he's been the first and only puppet with full awareness and with the ability to contact the outside world, makes the song feel a little somber upon a relisten.

The song describes Toyland as "childhood's joy land", and "once you dwell within it, you are ever happy there". It reminds me of the world the puppets inhabit; made for children and a place of warmth and joy. Then, the song describes "once you pass its border, you may ne'er return again". I think this signifies how Wally woke up from the happy puppet world. It represents him self-actualising. He can't fall back under the illusion, because now he knows too much. It'd be impossible to go back.

The saddest parts to me are in the second verse. "When you've grown up, my dears, and are as old as I, you'll laugh and ponder on the years that rolls so swiftly by, my dears" It represents just how much time has passed since the shutdown of the Welcome Home show. It's been almost 50 years. The years are passing so fast to him because it's the same old every day, and he can't help but laugh along because there's not much else for him to do. And besides, we've seen what happens when Wally experiences negative emotion. He has trouble processing it.

Besides the song, I also find the line "It's so quiet during Homewarming" to be quite odd. Homewarming is their equivalent to Christmas, right? That's supposed to be a time of togetherness and cheer. Music, laughter and merriment. But he describes it as "quiet" because everyone's busy. That seems like an antithesis of what Homewarming should be. Why is it just him and Home for so long? Why is the neighbourhood divided during what should be the liveliest time of the year? This might be a factor as to how the neighbourhood's getting distorted away from its original teachings and character. Instead of a lively cast of puppets, it's become cold and quiet. Eerie. Wally saying he doesn't want to hang up the call makes me think he feels very lonely. He has friends, like Barnaby, but he's separated from them for long periods of time. I feel like the phone calls are him trying desperately to connect to someone before he's dragged away again.

I also find it odd how he's usually so busy if it's just him and Home. Just what is he always doing, if he's not with his friends? I know that the phonecall ends because he has his adventure with Barnaby, asking around the neighbourhood for what Homewarming truly means, but what about the previous times? He always seems to be in a rush. And what do we hear before he hangs up? The creaking of Home's door and windows. It's like his own home is isolating him.

That's all I have on Wally. Maybe I'm just repeating what people have been saying for a long time, I don't know. But thank you to anyone who sat down to read this! I appreciate it :)

[ateez-himari]

Behind The Track ... Shadow ♪

🔓 Unlocked

‥ The track reflects a conflict happening within Himari's mind which grows along with her fame, showcasing that every piece of light has its dark counterpart that grows stronger the more it is pushed away.

‥ She has been rather open recently about mental challenges she has faced since the group's debut and putting those negative periods into songs is - in her opinion - a way to fight her internal battles. In this case being able to write about her 'shadow' is a way of unlocking a piece of herself which still needs healing, letting out the raging emotions out in a non-harmful way and allowing her to deal with it on her own terms.

‥ Despite being a vocalist she chose to rely heavily on rap throughout the song, using vocals solely for the chorus, as she felt it conveyed the distress behind the lyrics more accurately. Rapping is usually seen as something angry and aggressive, making it the ideal choice to express the raging emotions contained in the verses while vocals are viewed as more vulnerable which is why it is used in the chorus - which is no longer confrontational but desperate.

‥ When the members listened to the rough version there was a moment of silence after the song ended as they tried to process everything they had just learned about the maknae's struggles. Yoongi having gone through very similar experiences had to step out of the studio in order to calm his thoughts as seeing so much of himself in his younger sister scared him, mainly because he did not want the cycle to repeat itself with her.

‥ This track had been in the works for a while yet she chose to completely wipe the old lyrics as they had been created during a time where she still had a hard time accepting the more negative parts of herself - her shadow - and she wanted the story to show the full extent of her conflict's growth, not bring back the version of herself in its deepest state of fatigue.

📂 Notebook

‥ 'Shadow' This represents every negative part of herself that she wishes to push away, every hurtful memory, her deepest regrets and even things such as emotional or physical pain. It also embodies anger, grudges, greed, resentment, etc.

‥ 'I wanna be...' These desires for greatness not only demonstrate the dreamy mindset of wanting to have it all but also the desperation to be good enough, to not let the hopes of those who believe in her be in vain. With the industry's constant push for perfection she developed a fear of failure, beginning to have trouble admitting when something she did was the best that could have possibly been done within her abilities.

‥ 'I wondered everyday how far I'd go. I came to my senses and I find myself here' After leaving JYPE in favor of KQ her future became uncertain due to the amount of elimination risks that came with the survival show, instilling doubt in her mind every day about how long she could hold on to her spot. During that time she drowned herself in training - including learning new skills such as production and rap - which made every day that passed almost unnoticed so when she finally took a breath after being chosen, only then did she realize she had succeeded.

‥ 'Yeah, hmm, shadow at my feet. Look down, it's gotten even bigger. I run but the shadow follows, as dark as the light's intense' The fact that the shadow stands at her feet symbolizes the fact that she has kept it below her all this time, ignoring its very existence in hopes that the light - ATEEZ's success - would dissipate it. However once she truly pays attention to it, it has grown much bigger than anticipated and no matter how much she attempts to ignore it once more she realizes that there is no escaping what has been created by her own mind. 'As dark as the light's intense' refers to the fact that the group's success only strengthens that shadow due to more stress factors, more eyes on her, more grueling physical efforts, etc.

‥ 'I can leap in the air but also plunge, now I know.' Due to coming from a small company there was not much lower for the group to go hence she believed that the only thing they could so was rise yet as they did so, people began attempting to drag her down - making the manager wonder if keeping her was truly a good choice - and that was when she realized that despite the success they had achieved they also had a risk of all of that falling apart.

‥ 'Running away could be an option too, pause' A few months after debut she began getting a large amount of hate and realized that it was affecting the group's popularity growth, leading to her making the decision to leave. The 'pause' signifies the night her bandmates found out, during which they sat the girl down and did whatever they could to alter her choice.

‥ 'People say, there's splendor in that bright light. But my growing shadow swallows me and becomes a monster' The 'bright light' refers to fame which is something that most people find to be a wonderful thing and just as light creates shadows, fame creates negativity. The group was made to work harder the more successful they became which led to her sustaining multiple injuries from extensive practices or even performances during which she suffered from deep fatigue - essentially 'swallowing' her. Monsters are terrifying and seemingly unbeatable, which is how she felt going through her depressive episode.

‥ 'I rise, rise, I hate it.' ATEEZ saw a rapid ascent to popularity which still carries on to this day and although she is proud of this achievement, she claims to hate it in order to illustrate the heavy burdens that come with it.

‥ 'I pray, I pray, hoping to be okay' It has been stated before that she does not follow a religion - despite having a few spiritual beliefs - so the fact that there is willingness to pray to something she does not believe in shows the extent of her desperation. It felt so much as though she was running out of options that the only thing she could do was hope some higher power would be willing to help her.

‥ 'Please don't let me shine. Don't let me down, don't let me fly. Now I'm afraid' The words have nothing to do with one another, symbolizing the fact that in such a terrified and desperate state there are so many things running through her head that all she can do is beg desperately to be protected from what she is afraid of.

‥ 'The moment I face myself brought lowest. It so happens that I'm flying the highest.' The Fireworks era was the lowest point in her mental health following increased demands for her to be removed from the group as well as several personal side factors and it was a time during which her body was experiencing increased fatigue. At this time however ATEEZ was at a high point, filming the show 'Kingdom: Legendary War' and 'Stressor Things' all the while promoting their new album. A similar circumstance happened during the Guerilla era, during which people claimed she needed to train harder in order to reach the members' level of power - leading to severe impacts on her body including the inability to stand after the song was over.

‥ 'Try smiling, what are you hesitating for? Wasn't this the kind of thing you were hoping for? Or cry instead, what are you scared of? Wasn't this the kind of thing you'd been wanting?' Pushing herself to smile mainly refers to the fact that in front of cameras she refused to show her fatigue, going by most days believing that tomorrow everything would go back to normal - that these feelings eating away at her were temporary. Crying was also complicated around the members due to her refusal to burden them with whatever was happening in her mind - somewhat afraid that their reactions would be negative. Questioning herself about the fact that it was what she wanted is a form of self-criticism in which she is trying to find reasons around the shadow's existence, removing any validity the conflict in her mind has.

‥ 'All the things you wanted, you've got it all. So what's the problem? Just enjoy it. Or just let it go, no? Then run, or stop. Don't whine, just choose one or the other' A lot of the time Himari became conflicted with her own feelings, not understanding why there were times she seemed tired of her career as it was what many people dreamed of and it was what she sacrificed so much for. When tired thoughts made their way into her mind, she would scold herself with the same lines she had heard from 'fans'; 'How can you be depressed when you have everything ?'.

‥ 'That at times, your rest becomes your fall. Do you finally get it? That giving it your best effort every time is what it means to do your best' Having very high expectations for herself she would not rest until she got the choreography down to perfection, however over time - thanks to a lot of help from the members - she realized that sometimes there were things her body was not able to do or handle so simply doing things to the best of her abilities was enough.

‥ [Distortion following the second bridge] The sudden switch is a humanization of the shadow's voice, turning the song into a conversation between it and her consciousness rather than a monologue.

‥ 'Yeah I'm you, you are me, now do you know. Yeah you are me, I'm you, now you do know' The shadow is attempting to rationalize with her more conscious self in order to make her realize that the mind will only become more conflicted the longer the two parts stay as two separate entities. 'Now do you know' is an aggressive, somewhat arrogantly phrased question to show that while Himari attempted to build a new self comprised of nothing but light, the shadow always knew that both could not exist without one another.

‥ 'We are one body, sometimes we will clash. You can never break me off, this you must know' Both sides of her persona essentially share the same source, the same mind, which means there is never truly an escape from either and confusion in her own mind is inevitable, even so, no side can be destroyed. 'This you must know' conveys the urgency behind the need for reconciliation between the two parts for the sake of the healing of her mental health.

‥ 'Yeah you'll be at ease if you admit it too. Yeah succeed or fail, whichever way you flow. Yeah you can't escape, wherever you go' Once again these lines are from the shadow's point of view helping her realize that the darker parts of herself will always be here no matter what, inciting her to comes to terms with this fact in order to heal. In this she is essentially attempting to make her conscious self realize that recognizing she's hurt is the first step to getting better.

‥ 'We are you, we are me, this do you know' The final lyric being from her shadow counterpart symbolizes that the conflict has been put to rest, using the word 'we' to refer to both parts as one hence symbolizing the new coexistence between the pained and healing sides of herself.

[aurienneirua]

trying to think about how aurien would take castor’s death since i haven’t really articulated it quite yet . .

i think ill be using how blue diamond from steven universe take’s pink’s death as a bit of an projection onto aurien and inspiration !

well, ill start on how aurien was with solei’s disappearance . since me and @billwasnot actually discussed this before, i feel like i can articulate and word this much more then i usually do . ill also limit how long this is since that’s probably for a whole nother post .

( edit after finishing : wow im a really bad liar )

to put it into simple and hopefully straightforward words, aurien did not process solei’s disappearance at first, and her feelings about it in extension .

when they finally started to bubble up, she shoved them down . they poison parts of her in response, and she’s stuck in a cage and cycle of grief, slowly shutting down mentally and emotionally . even when she and solei reunite, she still has them shoved down .

now, finally onto cas !

for him mainly, id say she feels empty after his death .

she falls into a prolonged period of time where she either feels just . . empty, or all she can feel is pain and grief .

although she openly expresses her emotions now and doesn’t shove them away, she instead wallows in them, refusing to move on because she just doesn’t want to .

the words im referring to starting at 1 : 07 and ending on 1 : 16 being :

“ im sorry . im so sorry . i should have done more . ————— says it will all be over soon . i wonder what you would think . “

also think blue’s tone matches her exactly as well lol . quiet and low .

the words “ im sorry . im so sorry . “ transferring onto aurien in the way of how she knows she failed to save him, and “ i should have done more . “ being how she wishes that she could have, and regrets greatly how in the end, she did not .

also gonna put down some lyrics from what’s the use of feeling blue as well since that can also fit auri . .

“ why would you want to be here ? / what do you ever see here ? / that doesn’t make you feel worse then you do ? / and tell me, what’s the use of feeling, ( blue ) ? /

oh, how can you stand to be here with it all ? ( here with it all ) / drowning in all this regret ? / wouldn’t you rather forget ( him ) ? /

start looking forward and stop looking back, oh “

( formatting style originally by @sotogalmo ! )

ok, first, “ why would you want to be here ? / what do you ever see here ? / that doesn’t make you feel worse then you do ? / and tell me, what’s the use of feeling, ( blue ) ? / “ would probably be about her extreme unwillingness to move on ? and maybe also how as a result, she only feels worse and worse, inflicting pain upon herself because she feels she deserves it .

secondly and lastly, “ oh, how can you stand to be here with it all ? ( here with it all ) / drowning in all this regret ? / “ this one’s a more clear one for me . . she definitely is drowning in regret . another possible thing would be that the lyrics “ how can you stand to be here with it all ? “ can maybe be her actually asking herself that . .

how can she still stand here— why is she still here with everything that’s been going on ? she’s not special . so many people matter so much more then her . why does she live ?

anyways, i wrap it up here . . partly because i don’t think i have anything else to say, this post is already getting long, and im pretty disappointed about how this came out .

i came in with a clear mindset, ( which normally helps a lot when im trying to write things like this ) but it got muddled pretty easily . although i want to take more time on this, im not really patient with myself, and ive been having a lot of trouble wording things lately .

i don’t know how long it’ll take to “ word this right “, but i know it’ll be long combined with some other factors . I think I’ll maybe come back to update or expand on this though . . anyways, any thoughts about my depressed pookie aurien ?

( castor : @bluemoonscape )

( side note : lolol id love to hear your and possibly cas’s ( if he were still alive COUGH ) on this ! also i already have a little au in my head where auri and solei save cas . . and auri shoots and shatters a screen displaying kyo that was distracting cas mizi all in style . . may i know how he would react to this and hold up if they did save him . .

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

I have more thoughts about Chalice of the Gods

When I was getting through the first hundred pages or so I was a little :/ prob because I’m getting back into the books over a decade later and I had Expectations that I didn’t have as a kid. You could have thrown anything at me and I would have been DELIGHTED just to hear more of Percy’s story. I think the nostalgia factor was actually kind of a negative for me because I kept getting mad at the modern references and how low the stakes seemed to be. I did see a post about how it was good that Rick kept the books at whatever time he wrote them (in terms of references) because it’s literally just like the olympians growing and modernizing. You can’t stay stuck in the past. And I think keeping that perspective in mind will make rereads a lot more fun.

The low stakes seemed to bother me just because we’re so used to seeing Percy in horrible world ending situations and we just got out of HOO. But he really did deserve a break and it was helpful with developing his characterization

I didn’t expect the books to make me feel so emotional! I’ve been out of the horrifying college admissions process for a while now. But the questions he was wrestling with were very universal. At this point he’s accepted that the gods are what they are. There’s not much he can do to change them. He has to focus on himself and his future. And I am a little disappointed that his goals all seem to be around Annabeth. Like I love them but also he’s going to new Rome JUST for her it seems. But also when I was in high school I decided to go to college because that’s what Everyone Does right. I didn’t know trade school was an option. Feeling a little bit like ur life is on a set path and your choices are controlled by other people a bit was at least part of my high school experience. But also from a story perspective it does make sense that he wants to stick with Annabeth! They’ve been through a ridiculous amount together.

Sally having a kid and the emotions that it brought up was also a good way to show that transitional period between leaving home and starting a new life. Your parents are going to move on and do their own thing and their lives won’t revolve around you anymore. Also in general the whole Paul/sally/percy/annabeth dynamic was fucking amazing. The way Paul and sally accepted Annabeth into their lives and how happy they all are is what she fucking deserves!!

I think the end is what really got me. Some of it felt really silly and I did absolutely roll my eyes when Percy told the god he loved him and hugged him. But also him ACCEPTING that he would likely get old was so cathartic. This is a boy who was supposed to die at 16. And barely escaped death again after having his memories wiped and falling into fucking Tartarus. Hes never gotten a break and hes said, in multiple books, that he expects to die very young. This is the first time he says ‘wait I might survive this. I might get old and if I do it’ll be by Annabeth and Grover’s side.’ Percy fucking Jackson who has been the subject of COUNTLESS prophecies, who is reminded time and time again that he isn’t supposed to exist, even by people that he loves, (that was a lil mean of u in the intro Poseidon) CHOOSES to accept that he might get old. Like of course this boy doesn’t have much of a plan for his life yet other than ?? Follow Annabeth?? When has he gotten a chance to think about it!

This is something I did project upon a bit because I didn’t except to live to 18! Or 20! Or 22! And it’s only now at 24 that I’m starting to Accept that I might be here a little longer than I expected and now I have to Plan Accordingly. Like I have to learn these stupid life skills and figure out what I Want from my life now. And unlike Percy, I’m a little angry about it lol because I never expected to have this problem!! But, I too, am slowly accepting that time on earth is a gift or whatever. At the very least I’m stuck here for the foreseeable future so I might as well use it to learn who I am. I GUESS. In my life, Death has always been this ever-present choice I could take if things got a little too tough and I don’t know if that door will ever fully close but I have been dragged away from it kicking and screaming so. Might as well stick around. I’m still a little bitter about it honestly but I’ll get over it. I have to learn how to COOK guys. How fucked up is that. To care about the mundane all of a sudden??

Anyways. I doubt that’s the metaphor Rick was going for, it was probably more of a ‘your childhood ends! You’re gonna get older and that’s a good thing’ instead of a ‘one day you might not have killed yourself and you’ll realize that you’re actually stuck living this life and you gotta learn to fucking deal with it.’

Ok I could go on for hours so this is the last thing. Percy’s conversation with Poseidon, about how small waves are the ones that matter the most, REALLY resonated with me. Like I think I teared up at two parts of this book, the old age part and the conversation with between them at the end. It’s really easy to convince yourself that the way you alter your life is through Sweeping All-Consuming Change where you move to a different continent and begin anew. Unfortunately, through bitter experience, I’ve learned that’s not how things fucking work. Changing your surroundings does lead to new experiences but it doesn’t make ur problems go away! I moved halfway across the state and got what I genuinely believe is the best job on earth and I. Still have the same issues?? And then I thought ok maybe I was wrong this Wasn’t the best job I just need to find one that’s Better but that’s. Not how things work.

This is getting away from me but basically what I’m trying to say is u can make grand changes and it might fix u for a little while but unfortunately you have to put in the work and do the stupid boring mundane things like go on walks and journal and exercise and do things that scare the fuck out of u to actually change and grow and it’s so goddamn annoying. I should be able to become a different person just by being somewhere else but I can’t.

Wait I’m supposed to be relating this to Percy Jackson. So Percy can go on these life altering world defining quests right. And make all the right choices. But who he is at his core is defined by the choices that he makes when the stakes aren’t that high. When it would be So Easy to walk away from Ganymede and go live his life. And I know some people didn’t like that Poseidon was like ‘this is when I knew you were a hero’ of fucking COURSE he knows Percy has been this hero his whole life. But he’s also this person when there isn’t some prophecy, when he doesn’t have to be, when it’s just a mild inconvenience. It’s easy to talk about changing the world. It’s harder to go out there and take those little baby steps that don’t feel like they matter all that much. He has actually changed the world and just not talked about it but hopefully u get what I’m saying. I just liked that thing about small waves being able to sweep you off your feet when you didn’t expect it ok!! Most change is incremental!!

Ok that’s it. Loved Chalice, will probably enjoy it more on a reread and it resonated with me in ways I didn’t expect.

[lover-of-mine]

Okay I've gotten, like, 5 asks about my theories on how I think Buck and T will break up in the past few hours and I don't want to screenshot them all and put them in one and also because yall can get real intense and while I do support you, I need to pick my battles lol, so have this post instead. First of all, I think everyone needs to let go of the idea that it will be perfect and calm and just fizzle out just because it is Buck's first queer relationship. Queer people are allowed to be messy, like, come on guys. And this show likes to keep their queer people messy. The first scene with Michael has May and Athena snapping at him, then we find out he's been cheating on Athena. We meet Eva before we meet Karen, so we meet Hen messy as fuck love before we meet her wife. Josh can't catch a single break. The idea that there will be nothing wrong with the relationship just because it's queer is just not it because if there were nothing wrong with the relationship the relationship wouldn't end. I think everyone is taking Tim and the "Buck is in a romcom" too seriously, there are ways to be messy without being traumatic and I want some drama because if nothing happens it will be BORING. I am begging for some spice between those two. Second, I have about 100 theories of how it could go, we just don't have enough information on s8 for me to say anything. Yes, T parallels Ali, but he also parallels Taylor, and Abby, he is all of Buck's love interest smashed into one, so he can go anywhere at this point. He could get the Ali treatment and get broken up with off-screen because the relationship isn't serious enough and they didn't make a point of establishing his connection with anyone else in 7b so they could just get rid of him if they chose to, just say he moved or whatever. He could get the Ana treatment where during the opening event they throw doubt into the relationship until it cracks. But he could very much also get the Taylor treatment and stick around who knows how long even though he's not being written as endgame. We don't really know where they are taking the story yet. Do I think Eddie is gonna play a part? Not really, not fully. But it will depend on the time jump for the season, if there's a four-month time jump, they will have been together for what? Six months? At that point to make T insecure about Eddie all of a sudden wouldn't be that easy. Unless they lean into the emotional infidelity angle, but that would pull the trigger on buddie, because you can't have T call Buck out on this without forcing Buck to think about it and realize he's right and I am actually hoping Buck has a cool-off period before jumping into buddie because Mr moving in without noticing, Mr I got an apartment because my gf needs a better place to sleep, Mr wanna help me pick a couch even tho we only had 3 dates and you actually stormed out of one, Mr wanna go with me to my sister's wedding even tho we only had half a date because you ran away needs to learn how to take a breath and not jump into the deep end and hope he won't drown. So I hope Eddie isn't a deciding factor tbh. Gerrard could create problems tho. The jealousy line of thought, well, T says he's jealous of Buck's found family with the 118 on two different occasions, a situation where T is witnessing that firsthand could create tension if they want. You could even have that focus being on how well Buck and Eddie work together without framing the whole thing to be about Eddie. Especially if Buck somehow manages to get Gerrard's respect or Buck interferes when someone is getting the Gerrard treatment, and he suggests Buck's life could be easier if kept his head low. Do I think age will be a factor? It could be? But it would depend on the circumstances, T is supposed to be in his mid-40s, Buck's 32/3, there is tension to be put there. The idea of kids keeps coming to mind with Chris being a wildcard for the season, but again, it would depend on how serious they are during s8 and how long they plan on keeping T around. And if the show will decide to make them want different things.

Personally, I think the relationship wouldn't last a lot beyond Buck's helpless crush phase, but that's a me thing, there are ways to make it plausible for the relationship to last more than the infatuation stage. And I don't see him being that long-term because of the very deliberate choice of having the camera pan to Eddie during the ceremony and the way T wasn't at the hospital. Even more, considering the way they filmed a bt scene at the hospital they didn't use. The show has a very specific way of writing endgame relationships and none of those are being used. But at this point in time, we don't know anything about season 8, so it's hard to say anything clearly because T is in a very ambiguous position. They had a conversation about taking things slow and we were shown that they are, that could be turned around in s8 where they are fully committed or it could just spiral more and more into the idea it has no depth. Or he could fully just not come back. It could go anywhere and until we find out more about the season, it all feels like fanfic planning, it's speculation and wishful thinking.

[thistlecatfics]

do you have opinions on cbt

Hahaha everyone has opinions on CBT. For the radical queer trauma therapist circles I run in I’m actually pretty pro-CBT. For the average person involved in mental/behavioral health, I’m probably anti-CBT. 

[For context, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a famously evidence based type of therapy which works by targeting thoughts/cognitions. It theorizes that thoughts cause behaviors which cause feelings which cause thoughts all around and around in a spiral of doom for which the easiest intervention is targeting the thoughts. It can be very regimented, hence it’s easily studied, hence why it’s so “evidence based.” You basically identify “cognitive distortions” like catastrophizing (I failed my exam and so I’m going to fail out of school and live in a cardboard box) and reality-check them (it’s one exam in one class and I can still pass the class if I get a decent grade on my final). You also identify the thought/feeling/behavior spiral (thought=I failed -> I will be homeless, feeling=fear, shame, behavior=avoiding the professor and anything associated with the class.) It’s definitely bigger and more complicated than that, but you get the idea.]

For a lot of people with anxiety and with OCD especially, it can be so life changing. 

For a lot of people, especially people who are trauma survivors or whose presenting problems are connected to trauma, it can feel like gaslighting. 

(Fun fact! Part of the reason TF-CBT (trauma focused CBT) has such solid evidence behind it is that it ignores the wild survival bias in its studies. People who have a lot of trauma or really intense PTSD tend to drop out. Those who stay mostly have success with it and provide happy little data points)

I think certain parts of CBT can be so useful – noticing thoughts, identifying cognitive distortions, checking in with reality – and I think using the triangle with clients (the little triangle of “thoughts,” “emotions,” “behaviors”) can be super useful, and I do it fairly often.

Personally, I find a lot of my clients can do (most of) the mental/cognitive work on their own – what they really need help with from a trained professional is actually a felt sense of safety and emotional processing which require therapeutic flexibility and other modalities -- and a longer period of work.  

Some people like a very concrete, structured approach, especially if they’re new to therapy or skeptical of the value of therapy. Also, a lot of people only can access therapy for a short time and a lot of people only want to be in therapy for a short time, and you can make changes quickly with CBT. Also, from the therapist end, there are a million free CBT trainings and workshops you can do vs. most other modalities where you have to pay $1000s for trainings (on top of getting a graduate degree). 

Insurance companies and payers in general LOVE CBT because it’s structured, evidence-based, and short-term. You also require clients to do homework, which is basically like extra therapy time you don’t have to pay the clinician for. You can also train people in it pretty easily. I think it’s important to understand *why* CBT is held up as the best/standard therapy type now, and it has a lot less to do with CBT itself and more to do with service provision and structural factors around paying for therapy and with what can be effectively researched. 

I’m reading Richard Schwartz’s “No Bad Parts” right now about Internal Family Systems therapy, and I’m now thinking of CBT within that framework. Basically, CBT is an effective part of the overall therapy system but it’s being asked to do too much, and so is overfunctioning and causing problems. We really should just let it settle into its own niche. 

It’s not my therapy niche! But it has a place. 

(If you were asking about Cock and Ball Torture therapy that would probably fall under the category of “experiential” therapy. Not sure it’s really been studied, but I’m sure there would be enthusiastic participants.)

[satanfemme]

Can you explain more about how you don't believe in free will? I guess I'm just curious what you mean. I've been thinking about free will recently, and while I do believe people are heavily shaped by factors out of their control (time period they're born into, class, social conditioning...), I don't believe in like. Predeterminism. Wbu?

so ftr I don't think this opinion is an objective fact or anything, and I want to be clear that this is a personal worldview that makes sense to me and which I personally find helpful and comforting, but I don't care if other people agree or not.

under the cut cause this is long and possibly incomprehensible.

the simplest way I can explain what I mean by that is I view people's actions in a very straightforward cause/effect way, with the primary causes being their material/social circumstances ("nurture"). I think that the human brain (and by extension the human body, since there's no binary division there) basically works like a chemical computer. if you input information, it's "programed" to react a certain way (whether that reaction is a thought, emotion, desire, whatever). it's more complicated than we can comprehend, because we're subconsciously processing an uncountable amount of information at any given moment (and therefor experiencing an uncountable number of reactions at any given moment), but that's the basic process.

I don't believe in souls (at least outside of my psychotic delusions, but that's not relevant here lol), and I think that the concept of the "self" as something separate from the brain/body is a myth. I think the self is the same thing as the brain/body, which functions via the pre-"programmed" (but too complex to comprehend) input/output process described above. following all that, I think for every moment there's only one possible combination of thoughts, emotions, actions, desires, etc that a person could be experiencing or enacting based on the sum total of everything they've experienced up to that point. like I don't think there's ever "two options" they could meaningfully choose between, even if they feel like they experience it that way internally. I also don't believe in multiple timelines. I think there's only one way things could ever happen, and that's what's happening.

although I guess this probably technically counts as "predeterminism" I don't think everything has been predetermined by a sentient entity or anything. I definitely don't believe in predestination or that anyone is destined to be bad or destined to suffer or anything like that. also when I use the word "programmed" here that's just for lack of a better word to describe what I'm trying to describe.

anyway at the end of the day I think this kind of philosophy mostly just impacts the way I feel about others emotionally. I still experience life as a series of choices like anyone else, and still strive to make the best choices. I also don't think the lack of free-will gives anyone a free pass to be cruel on purpose and/or succumb to doomerism. idk if anything this all ties into my beliefs that no one is fundamentally evil, and everyone needs to have love, community, etc.

[shit-talk-turner]

Do they ever fight? - good question. The ability to have the occasional blazing row with someone you love is actually a sign of a healthy relationship. You have to be pretty secure with each other to do that. My impression is that Alex is a sulker who everyone has to pacify, l don't think he would take well to a row and l bet Louise wouldn't dare test that. I bet he doesn't do conflict and it could be why he ended it with Taylor.

// He dropped Taylor and Arielle seemingly out of the blue, and while it's a bit of a different situation, it seems like he did Andy as well. He's a bit touchy about being an only child when people bring it up in interviews, but navigating sibling relationships is one way for people to learn how to deal with conflict and compromise (not the only or best way of course).

I think a big factor in his conflict avoidance could be that he struggles with verbal communication and worries about getting his own feelings or opinions wrong (like the dessert question), so he probably does just try to avoid situations where he might have to communicate complicated feelings or emotions in the moment, just thinking and waiting until he makes a decision on his own and then doing it and standing by the results for better or worse. We'll stick to our guns, don't care if its marketing suicide and all that.

Thinking about Alex's relationship with Miles and how they would talk about being able to read each other's minds (by having shared interests and similar perspectives, sense of humour etc) you can see how that relationship might have been so close and valued for someone who has a hard time communicating, but also how much might have been left unsaid or assumed over the years, possibly leading to a conflict after EYCTE.

Interestingly enough the two people we know who patched things up with Alex after a period of separation both spoke about going to therapy (Andy and Miles) and it might be that they were the ones to reach out to him, maybe better equipped to have these uncomfortable conversations with him than others in his life.

^

[charliethomascoxuniverse]

Netflix Daredevil star Charlie Cox reveals the real reason why he isn't on social media

Exclusive: 'I have a big feeling like if it is not broken, don’t fix it'

By Sandra Mallon   3 OCT 2022  (X)

Kin star Charlie Cox reveals he isn’t on social media – because the superstar wouldn’t know what to say to his fans.

The Daredevil star – who returns to our screens as Michael Kinsella in the new season later this year - says that having an online presence for his millions of fans “is not really my bag”, admitting he’s a very private person.

Charlie told us: “I don't know what I would say to people I don’t know. I genuinely don’t. I’m not against it and obviously a lot of people tell me I should because it’s part of the industry, part of the world now. It’s not really my bag. I’m very private. Also, I have a big feeling like if it is not broken, don’t fix it and my life… I don’t get bothered.”

The UK star feels grateful to be working on Kin, saying “it feels like luck” that he came across the script as his TV wife producer Samantha Thomas was already working on the Rte One series.

“So much of it just feels like luck. I don’t know how… you know when you get sent a script, you’re getting sent one tiny clog in this huge mechanism and the other clogs haven’t even been developed yet.

“With filmmaking I always found that one element can completely sabotage it. I saw a cut of a movie I was in, it looked really promising and the sound design ruined it and it ended up not working so I’m very aware that we make decisions with a very limited amount of information so it was a huge amount of luck involved.

“So when something comes along that does work and there is a fanbase behind it and there is a thirst and a hunger for more of it, I think you just got to be really grateful for that. I’ve always stayed quite close to the theatre, I think that helps,” he added.

Charlie previously told us how he used to “dread” going on the Kin set because it would drain his emotions as an actor.

He told us in August: “When I read it (the script) I was so devastated by the loss of Jamie. I can tell you just from filming episodes two and three of last season. There was a period of time where I was like 'wow, I really kind of am dreading going to work'.

“I mean I loved the creative process, I was loving the storytelling and I believed in it so much. But sitting in those feelings… when you do a funeral scene and you’re doing a funeral all day, you’re sitting in that grief all day.

“You know there was a scene at the wake where Jamie is in the coffin and we filmed that scene all day and we are grieving all day, albeit it acting but you still have to draw it from somewhere.

“It lingers… It's a very uncomfortable emotion to be living in and so my feeling with this show and in particular what happens in the beginning is that if anything it shines a light on how devastating to a family and to a community that life can be.”

Charlie revealed how fortunate he feels that he no longer takes on roles for the money – but rather to fill his own creative needs as an actor.

“The last few years of my life I have been fortunate enough to be in a position where there has been work. Not all the time. There was a few years ago there was a period where I was waiting for the right thing and nothing would come along. It gets quite nerve-wracking after eight or nine months.

“I’ve never been someone who jumps into work just to work. I always wanted to curate a career as much as possible. It’s very difficult to do when you start because you have to take every job you get really.

“The last few years have been slightly different. And so, I’m not taking any jobs for the money. It’s all for creative reasons.

“Then there are other things you factor in, like keeping the family together is a big one now,” he added.

~*~

[readthephible]

writing advice thing

okay, so i love writing and also mentoring people with things. over the years i've been a writer i have been so open and excited to have people reach out so i wanted to combine all my Advice Thoughts in one place??? it's definitely not like college level professional especially since it is very fanfiction oriented but,,,, yeah! also i'm typing this on my actual pc instead of my phone so there might be errors from me not being used to it :) this is just a fun advice guide for anyone to use

decide a tense to use and stick to it. first person for fanfic is usually something i've seen people dislike. it's not my preference, there can be some great first person fics out there. also, personally i don't like being perceived by the narrator and i try to avoid it if possible (ex. "You would think she would know better." is a no, if i absolutely have to do something like this i usually do "One would think this is the worst possible outcome.") this also applies to the timing and how every single word is gonna be referred to. for me i use past tense (although it can be a bit difficult to describe "now" but i've made it a habit) when i was first writing i struggled to stick to one, so do that!

do: "Hello," Courtney says, addressing Spencer as he enters the kitchen." (that is happening currently and is in present tense) / "Hi," Spencer replied, scratching the back of his neck. He felt awkward. (past tense but all matching)

don't: "Where's Tommy?" Courtney asks him. They leaned their elbows on the counter.

Spencer shrugs and yawns his answer.

(switching between actively happening vs that time has passed)

2. dialogue: break it up often and make it very clear who is speaking. especially since fanfic is most of the time Gay and using the same pronoun for characters that are talking. every time a character speaks it should be very clear. i once read a fic where the name next to the dialogue didn't match the person speaking but the person reacting/listening which was SO CONFUSING

do: "I'm really happy to see you," Damien said, able to sigh and melt in Shayne's arms, "It's been a long day."

(commas to not disrupt the sentence flow after you and arms. only a period to end the dialogue. any other thoughts or things added during the dialogue need to happen in between.)

don't: Damien nearly rushed to hug him. "I'm really happy to see you. It's been a long day." He sighed and melted in his hold. "I bet!" he said.

(break up the dialogue! who is saying what???)

3. sentence style mixing! i know there are proper english class terms for this but it's been a while since i've been in one. so here's the best way i can describe it

don't: Avoid using lists, lists and lists right next to each other. It might be confusing, awkward or difficult for your reader to understand. They will probably have a lot of questions, comments, and concerns.

don't: This is a simple sentence. Another simple sentence right after. Sometimes this can work. It should be used sparingly. It reads kind of choppy in my opinion.

don't: They huffed and set down their notebook. They were tired of running out of inspiration. Their pencil rolled off the table.

do: Ian was the first to hear the news. The collective emotions hit him all at once: grief, guilt, anger. Normally, he was able to keep very calm and composed.

4. cut out filler words like "so, just, also" as much as possible!

5. speaking of like, same gender relationships, often sometimes the fill in is "the blond, the shorter of the pair, the blue eyed one" (describing Shayne ofc) which i would also rec using sparingly or stick to only one or two, depending on your fic! if it's the first time someone is perceiving shayne, or they don't know his name yet, maybe the blond is the perfect way to describe him for a bit! but if it's a new descriptor that isn't his name or just a simple identifying factor, imo it starts to sound more like,,,, fanfic-y?

6. there are some great posts out there for help and my dms

7. thesaurus, but not like. too often using crazy words you wouldn't say out loud. but also like. find different ways to describe things so you don'r repeat the same words a lot

8. when in doubt, make bullet points on what you want to cover, only write dialogue for a bit, share with a friend, make a playlist!