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mm2022ll · 3 months

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Happy Birthday, Richard O'Brien, the most wonderful man on earth!

Let this magnificent creature be the happiest on the entire planet! May all the gods and fate protect him, may inspiration never leave his life, and may his heart be full of warmth and joy)))

I want to tell you a little about how I got into this beautiful universe, which was created by the amazing Richard O’Brien, which appeared thanks to the phenomenon of his existence and creativity, and which literally saved my life.

I was born and raised in a country and at a time where the bulk of my generation knew absolutely nothing about his “Rocky”, and I greatly regret this. Personally, I myself watched it relatively recently, a few years ago after I found out that it was one of Freddie Mercury’s favorite films (I just went to the cinema to see “Bohemian Rhapsody”, just for fun). I really liked Rocky. When I saw Riff Raff, I thought - wow, what a colorful guy! Very much to my taste). And how he sings, what energy is in his voice when he calls light into his life in “Over at the Frankenstein place”, what willpower is to defeat the main ... villain, or hero, depending on how you look at it). But “on the wave” of Freddie, I was captivated by Frank-n-Furter performed by Tim Curry. I also thought that the film was excellent, especially considering the years of release, everything was beautiful, high quality, understandable and appropriate. In general, a living classic and style icon. However, I still wasn't a fan). I didn’t even realize the significance of Richard for this creation, looking between the lines, and almost immediately conveniently forgetting who played whom. Because immediately after this, several events happened in my life that made me forget about films, and hobbies, and in general, all kinds of entertainment, in general, not very good events.

When, after a couple of years, everything went a little back to normal, I wanted to watch something in the noir style (I like, among other things, noir, as well as gothic and a little horror, although I watch everything that is filmed, in my opinion, good, because in almost any style you can find good examples). I read good reviews for the movie "Dark City" and decided to watch it.

My God! The effect was simply amazing! The film evoked a strong reaction and response in me! I just fell in love with it, with its idea, atmosphere, scenery, characters, and most of all I was hooked by the image of Mr. Hand. I was simply hypnotized by him, he was so good! What grace, what manners, figure, but most importantly - what eyes! Expressive and deep, bright, like stars, and piercing right through you, like two daggers, and at the same time looking a little reproachfully, but understanding everything! Beautiful eyes for which you can give your soul and heart, if demanded. And his smile! It was like I saw heaven when he smiled at Emma in the pier scene, it was just incredible! It was as if the warm sun warmed me in the middle of winter, as if the brightest star in the universe had been lit... He was simply amazing)

Oh, how I wanted to develop his storyline! How I wanted a battle between him and Murdoch, and not just with Mr. Book)) Considering the grace and artistry, skill and photogenicity, colorfulness and appearance of Richard O’Brien, it would be incredible and exciting! He was simply created for such things, and I sincerely don’t understand why so few of him were filmed, including in such films, because he is simply the decoration of everyone in which he played. I think martial arts with dance elements would suit him perfectly). And how I wanted to preserve the inquisitive and most humane of the Strangers! I cried at the end of the film - from the happiness that people will gain relative freedom and the joy of seeing the light, and also from the fact that Mr. Hand died. Some will consider me crazy, and probably very naive, but in my fan version of events it seems to me that if it were not for the memories of the killer that were injected into him, Mr. Hand would still have turned out to be a person, an individual.

Be that as it may, the image of Mr. Hand turned out to be simply magnificent, “Dark City” was a gorgeous film, and I became interested in the actor who played Hand (I didn’t recognize him right away, although I saw that his face seemed familiar to me, and especially his incredible eyes). When I realized that this was the same actor who played Riff Raff in Rocky, I was simply delighted and decided to continue my acquaintance by reading more about him).

And... I disappeared! I entered his world through the back door, fell through and fell like Alice through the rabbit hole into Wonderland, and this door to Richard O’Brien’s universe was Dark City, not Rocky). It turned out to be not just an actor, not just a person, but an absolutely incredible, unimaginable, bright and brilliant personality! Divinely talented, versatile, smart, sarcastic, but at the same time very kind, very complex and deep, beautiful, sophisticated, fragile and at the same time very strong and strong-willed - and all this is one incredible person! I embarked on a journey through his universe, and this journey is still ongoing, and he never ceases to amaze me, and never disappoints me. I learn many things from him, his philosophy of life, I can understand his point of view, I like his perception of this world, I feel the energy in him that is kindred to me (no matter how arrogant it may sound, sorry).

Thanks to Richard O'Brien, I came out of a deep depression. If I may say so, he saved my soul. I am incredibly grateful to him! The fact that I discovered his world, gave my life more color, I wanted to live again. I realized that this world is not as bad as I began to think. Looking through his work, listening to songs, interviews, enjoying shows with his participation - in particular, “The Crystal Labyrinth” (in which you can see him in all his beauty, live, close and a lot) and “The Ink Thief”, I heal my heart from old and new wounds, I draw inspiration and strength - and thank him for this, thank you a thousand times! I think he will never be forgotten; I think he left a mark on this world forever. I think that with his creativity he did something very important in life for each of his fans, helped a huge number of people realize themselves, and for the whole society he showed what real freedom is, what it means to truly live for art and embody art, to be yourself and a muse for others, to be the Sun, and inspire others with your pure, positive thousand-megawatt energy! Happy Birthday to the most wonderful person in the universe! Happy Birthday Richard O'Brien!

#Happy Birthday #Richard O'Brien #Reckless Rick #Dark City #Mr.Hand #The most wonderful man on earth #rocky horror picture show #Crystal maze #Incredible and exciting #Amazing

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muirneach · 27 days

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okay. neil time. my official review: guys oh my god he is so good i love him so much. but much more gushing below:

im not retyping all that + setlist. he really did not speak like at all. before fuckin up (i think idr) he DID say ‘my producer died. we’re all gonna die by the way. just something to keep in mind’ which like. okay lol. and then every few songs he would say, and i quote, “hows everyone doin”. we’re doing great neil. but i respect it. anyways the man can play a hell of guitar for someone who is 78. i was just standing there being like my god. thats neil young and he is playing guitar. he’s real and he is so good. phenomenal stuff!! i can tell he was just havin fun with it lol. the horse was also very good. they were friends all having fun!! i want to be more insightful than this but literally like. he’s good guys. he did some really good solos. and i love him. good setlist 👍 losing end i feel like was surprising? but lots and lots of everybody knows which is always good. both the electric and the acoustic sets were wonderful. and i don’t know if it was the sound mixing or what but his harmonica sounded absolutely magical. i like harmonica but i have NEVER heard it that beautiful before.

pics i took lol:

this sign… i could cry. welcome back neily :) also i loved the nya village i had seen pics of it but i didn’t know what it was all about. wow the guy just loves to find his way into my envsci heart. imo it really really felt like the times contrarian come to life because it was a bunch of tables with different themes and they were giving away seeds and talking about agriculture and all that. and i loved that it was very local to toronto (/whatever city he’s in ofc). like they had local alternative magazines and their environment stuff was about here. i loved that level of care. this paper was the only thing i got there and now he lives on my bedside table :)

there was a family of goslings before the show and the moon was out and also there was a severe thunderstorm watch and the show almost got postponed but luckily it didn’t even rain so all was good. oh also its victoria day so people light fireworks and we couldn’t hear them because neil was blasting but we could see them it was nice

oh and lastly. him. typically when i take concert pictures they always suck because they make the performers look so far away even if i have good seats. and like thats true here but honestly i was so far away from the stage that he was so tiny anyways. no jumbotron which is a shame but that is par for the course from neil ‘dont even THINK about filming me’ young. i had a great time tho like i definitely saw him. he’s been playing a lot of small venues but lets remember that toronto goes ALL OUT for that old man and this was a sold out 16k seat venue so i cannot complain i literally got to attend a concert from my all time favourite old man. disbelief honestly. i love u neil!!

#also i was there with my guitar teacher and he told us after the opener that he was microdosing on shrooms LMFAO i respect it good for him #lots of fun to see with my dad. his face when he started playing hey hey my my…. :’)#csny #this post will definitely be edited over the next day as i remember things

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obriengf · 2 years

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“not okay” thoughts??????

SPOILER FILLED omg please do not proceed unless you have watched this brilliant film thanks x

mia isaac - the STANDOUT for me for the entire runtime

like ya’ll i’m a dylan girl thru and thru, and gorgeous zoey is the main star of this movie

but mia

ya’ll don’t sleep on mia isaac

i know the proper reviews have agreed with me, she is absolutely brilliant and powerful and and empowering, every scene was so strong and she deserves all the praise, all the awards, hands down

her character’s story where it related to real life events.. her trauma was so heartbreaking, and the ptsd scene on the stage really truly got to me and i honestly started tearing up. that was a full panic attack... i’ve lived through many, and it was captured so upsettingly well. mia conveys emotion so so well and i hope you love her as much as i did.

AND DUDE ----- THE LAST SCENE OF THE MOVIE WITH MIA WAS AHHHHHHHHHHHH MY FAVE PART OF THE WHOLE THIINNG

now... zoey, wow, her characterisation was SPOT ON

she just gulped up that fame, actual fame whore

like i hated her but i loved her and but at the same time i was holding my breath for her white lie to be unfolded

and PHEW it was nuts

“shit gon be nuts” - dylan o’brien, 2022, twitter.

zoey is a phenomenal actress, she can play all sorts of dimensions, but danni was just something else, in a very good way

she was a crafty lil bitch and i give her kudos, to an extent, and then yes she deserved to be #cancelled over and over again, never coming back from that one

i was shaking my head at her the whole time like..... honey you’re making it so obvi that you are not traumatised. you just want those likes, you just want that @WEEDBOIIICOLIN so bad.

also SHOUT OUT to the nightmares she was having, and her own personal haunting trauma with the green coat guy. i loved that continuity and how it built her guilt over and over again.

especially with the reveal.. i saw it coming at the last second, but was still surprised when you saw who it really was that was haunting her.

her hampster tho being the soul reason for her lie, giving her the idea, that was iconic. you go hamster. they also had similar hair???

her style was wild, very tik tok, very ‘on trend’ thank you quinn for crafting this crazy girl

zoey you need to be given like 150 gold stars right now, girl.

now................

dylan.

fuck me.

from the GET GO, from his first words, i was like............. here we go.

“lick the tit” yeah bro, straight off the bat

the little pet name ‘honey’ also got to me

ah DUDE THE WARDROBE DEPARTMENT FOR COLIN WAS HILARIOUS, his last outfit that you see him in, when he walks out of the elevator, i loved it so much i took a photo because i giggled

the was dylan put on that shit talker voice was also so well done, the vernacular he sattired was perfect

everything he said was legit comic relief

he made it funny with her stupid he was, honestly

and you could 100% tell that he was doing it to make fun

he better have enjoyed this role because i bloody well did

ANYWAY

DYLAN O’BRIEN’S FUCKING MOANING WILL LIVE IN MY HEAD RENT FREE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE AND I NEED IT ON ACTUAL FUCKIGN REPLAY RIGHT NOW THIS IS NOT A DRILL

his ****** game is also STRONG

seriously, THAT scene, you’ll know it, in the bathroom

it doesn’t last long but it was literally the set up for every dylan smut scene in fan fic okay

HIS WORDING WOOWWOWOWOWEVNBKJGE]

I AM STILL DEEEAASDDDDDDDD

ask @ slutobrien because i was messaging her the whole time and i was going craazzyyyyy

my fave is “youre so tight”

fuck thats dylan fan fic

in a good way.. a very, very, good way

he also says that he’ll protect her in a very sensual way and yes i believed it i still do i also need it RIGHT NOW.

but yes okay, thank you quinn once again for choosing this god of a man to portray this idiot of a man

other things i super loved: - the running jokes with kendall jenner loooool - quinn’s cameo!!!!!!!!!!! i squealed, like a lil piggy - the cinematography?!!?!!??! so good - the support group hanging out together was too cute for words - special shout out to NADIA for her portrayal of harper!!!!! the villain (?) that we really needed ((((( but like was danni really the villain the whole time and was harper the hero??? hmmmm????)))))) - still love mia isaac - MY 2ND FAVE PART THOOO ,....... OMGG... was when colin said some weird shit and harper was like “you’re from maine” and dylan puts his real voice on for a short moment since colin gets called out for his fakeness HAHAHA too good

Overall, NOT OKAY was a very good, eye-opening, funny film. It really makes you look at the craziness and toxicity that social media carries. It shows you how it can change people, literally, and the lengths they will go to to get those extra followers or those extra likes. Social media can be so dangerous. Watching Mia’s character get absolutely shit over for having a ptsd panic attack, saying she was being a fake victim.. that’s real, unfortunately. It happens so often. Dylan and Zoey have only recently done interviews where they explain that the truth is sometimes never believed, that the lies circulating gets the better of them and puts out negative untrue vibes.

This movie HAD to be made. And I am so glad that Quinn did it in such a captivating way.

But I think that there is also another important point made from this movie......

What I have learnt is that it is indeed.. okay... to not be okay. Don’t hide if you’re in pain, because it’s very most likely that the person next to you is also not okay.

OKAY THAT’S MY REVIEW BYE

#not okay #not okay movie #dylan o'brien #zoey deutch #mia isaac #not okay 2022 #colin not okay #DON'T HATE ME ON WHAT I SAID thanks

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cowboycannibalism · 7 months

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i watched When Evil Lurks (2023) yesterday and I have thoughts! also this is literally just my letterboxd review copy and pasted with a bit more detail lol

spoilers!! ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

first of all, I am not the biggest possession horror fan. It's not my thing. But wow I was actually so into this movie I completely forgot about it being a possession movie! It was sort of a mix between zombie/disease and possession which was interesting. The very first Rotten we see is hard to look at, not normally a sight you think of when someone is possessed. Usually these movies tend to be more bone-cracking, spine breaking, unnatural bending and scary voices. Seeing the "demon"/evil manifest physically with bodily fluids and boils and rotting flesh made my stomach turn a bit which was awesome!

Secondly, I admit I'm very partial to sibling dynamics in movies, I love my siblings and I would die for them. The only people I would want to be in this apocalyptic-end-of-days situation with would be my siblings and my mom. I think the film did a great job bringing to life that tie between family, that you would do anything to protect them even if it means leaving your entire life behind including people who may be close but not willing to believe you (the ex wife and new husband). Also I couldn't help but compare them a bit to mario and luigi in my head but I blame that on me watching the Mario movie right before this 😅.

Jaime (Jimi) and Pedro are fun contrasting personalities in the scenario they get put into. Their priorities are different and even the belief they have is split, while pedro is more sure about the Rotten, Jaime is so doubtful he can't even admit if what they saw was real and that leads to problems with everyone else believing them. He's seen as the "good" brother so of course if he's saying he isn't sure of what they see, then all the other characters would believe him over Pedro, the "bad" brother with a troubled past. One of the things I loved about it was that Jaime never waivers in his faith in Pedro, he may not be sure of the Rotten/evil but he always trusts fully in his brother.

Pedro does get on my nerves with some of his choices but cmon would it be a horror movie if you weren't mad at some character for making stupid decisions? The desperation that seeps from the actor (Ezequiel Rodriguez) is so palpable that it brings out sympathy for him, he may be dumb but he's trying his best okay?

The whole story with the autistic son was a little weird and I know everyone's reviews of this say it's ableist but I saw it in a different light. The Cleaner says the demon can't figure out the minds of autistic people, get stuck in their bodies and that helps them from fully becoming possessed. To Me it feels like the opposite of what movies would usually do in where the son would be autistic BECAUSE of the demon, whereas in this movie he is "normal" when the demon takes over. It isn't a cure, it isn't saying autistic people have evil in them that needs to be fixed, but that is something that people have said for a long time and tbh its probably still a thing idiots believe in. it's interesting to see that his autism actually kept him safe for as long as it did.

Let's talk about the kills! When the wife of the landowner whacks into him with the axe, I was caught so off guard, same with the dog attack on the little girl. oh god, the throwing up of the hair and necklace by the son got to me, I probably shouldn't have been eating while watching this. This may sound weird but I LOVED the scene of the mom eating her son's brains as she's walking alongside the car Jimi is in.

The movie was so bleak and nihilistic that I felt the need to repent so this doesn't happen in real life. I wish it could have expanded a bit more on the universe, some of the characters and the disease/possession but for pacing reasons I think they did a solid job of dropping enough hints to fill in information. I love foreign horror movies and Argentina you are on my watchlist now, i enjoyed this and I think its definitely worth a watch!

Be warned there are animal and child deaths in this movie so know your triggers. It has English subtitles that aren't 100% accurate so it can get a little confusing sometimes, just pay close attention and if you want more insight the reddit threads on this movie are so great.

#sorry for this long ass post #i just really enjoyed this movie!!#when evil lurks #horror #yami's movie thoughts

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video-gh0st · 11 months

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So back in June I watched all the Ghostbusters films cause it was the anniversary of the original movie and I thought I'd do a quick bullet point review since it's been a bit since I watched them all together.

Ghostbusters (1984)

It's still a classic. Has memorable moments that will live on.

Fun scenes. Going after Slimer is always silly and chaotic.

Peter Venkman is a rough. I actually had a person tell me that Venkman is the reason why they never watched the first movie, and I don't blame them.

Wish there was a bit more build up to the confrontation with Gozer. Would be neat if they kept uncovering clues rather than just the moment they figured it out in the jail cell.

Ghostbusters II (1989)

I don't know why people dunk on this movie, it's great!

You can tell the cast and crew are having more fun and things are a bit more fleshed out.

Venkman actually has some good character growth and is not a total creep!

I actually like the build up to the climax on this one. Throughout the movie, there's a focus on the slime buildup in the city and the flow of the story feels good.

Some fun light scares.

I kinda don't like the whole "the ghosts just stop showing up" thing. It's a trope specifically for this franchise that's not really explained. Just "yeah nothing happened between the movies and people think, we're frauds again! Gotta do it all over again!"

Ghostbusters: Answer the Call (2016)

This movie gets a lot of undeserved hate thrown towards it for being the female lead reboot. A bunch of misogynist trolls threw a fit and never gave it a shot the moment it was announced.

The cast was great tbh. Everyone seemed to gel with one another.

Chris Hemsworth plays a himbo and we see him with his shirt off.

I really like the main antagonist in this movie. I think his character could have been fleshed out a bit more, but still fun idea.

The gear looks really cool in this movie.

Some scenes do keep going a bit too long and has like not good Saturday Night Live skit energy. I think they relied a bit too much on improv.

How the fuck is Chris Hemsworth the funniest motherfucker alive and why is he so cute?

There's a teeny tiny bit a queerness in this story, but I also feel like there's themes of found family going on here too and I like that.

Chris Hemsworth plays a himbo and we see him with his shirt off.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)

Trailers do this movie a disservice by making it feel like it's going for a Stranger Things feel, kinda relying a bit too much on nostalgia or even doing the "wow kids these days." It just felt like they didn't have any confidence on the movie itself when marketing this tbh.

The tone is a bit more serious, but honestly I'm fine with it. Still has some funny moments, but it's leaning more into the horror part a bit more.

Watching Phoebe learn more about her grandfather is honestly fun. And this movie does a great job with handing things off to a new generation in a way that doesn't feel like it's disingenuous.

Literally cried at the end. Honestly that ending felt wonderful and it felt like a good tribute to Harold Ramis.

I don't know why, but my first watch of this last year wasn't as good as the second watch this year. I don't know what happened. But I remember the first time I watched this and felt like it was just ok but not my favorite. Maybe it was just a bit of frustration that the sequel to Answer the Call got cancelled before it could even get into full production.

I appreciate the movie using some practical effects. There are just certain elements that you can't mess with in Ghostbusters movie and they nailed it.

Muncher is my least favorite ghost tbh. Idk, there are people who love Muncher and I do like the tardigrade inspired design, but idk, they didn't appeal to me like the other ghosts did.

#ghostbusters #thoughts #yeah i'm of the opinion that Ghostbusters 2016 was a fun movie and I still go back to it.#I'm a bit scared though for the sequel to Afterlife since it got delayed to March 2024 #but I still stand with the writers and actors strike #Sony do not fucking kill that movie and pay your actors and writers a fair wage

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lannisterdaddyissues · 1 year

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Hello it is a day later and I am STILL thinking about EoT and getting distracted at work because wow. I thought you might appreciate more thoughts?

One of the things that made me consider EoT was seeing someone call it "secretly the best video game movie" and in the first 20 minutes I was like "Ah okay yes I understand what they meant"

NO I DID NOT because the creeping horror of the movie didn't really kick in until after that introductory sequence when I realize oh no this isn't an aesthetic thing or a cinematography thing, no. EoT is secretly the best video game movie because Bill Cage is basically "what if the character being speedran understood that he was in a speedrun." The sequence breaking, the mashing through 'cutscenes,' the literalization of deathwarping.

I am frankly desperate to ask the original author or McQuarrie if they are familiar with video games because this movie took a lot of rote, basic facts of games and turned them into this rising suspensive drama. As I was watching with @interropunct I kept going "OH WE ARE GONNA HAVE SUCH TRAUMA FROM THIS HUH" and "these two are Same Trauma buddies for life now" and "oh my god he's deathwarping."

Anyway yeah I feel like the real pitch of this movie is "Bill Cage is a Titanfall 2 character and experiences the existential terror of being part of a massive speedrun reroute and its amazing."

Literally the only bad thing I can say is the final 20 minutes were so poorly lit I stopped trying to track the action and was like "See if McQ was directing, I'd be able to see shit."

ALSO THAT MUSIC CUE TO THE CREDITS, WHOEVER THOUGHT OF THAT NEEDS A HIGH FIVE AND A HANDSHAKE. That music cue honestly acts as an epilogue through implication, letting me know what's next for Rita and Bill. Huge fan.

YES????? YES!!!!!!!! ARC YOU GET IT THIS MOVIE IS SO URHSGHASKLFJHRKGASDJFKLSAJGKJSFDK

it's so fucking... chilling.... like the first couple scenes where we see bill trying to cut in through the whole battle is the great redeemer speech? that's like a gamer's horror film right there: not being able to skip cutscenes. add to that the fact that there's only one save point AND the AI is self-aware and knows what you're going to do before you do it, AND it has the ability to take away all your lives? absolutely horrifying. i cannot imagine a gamer and going through what bill cage went through.

i found the letterbox'd page for eot recently and this one review on it was like. something out of r/TwoSentenceHorror if it was more like r/TwoParagraphHorror. just read this:

i mean. this fucked me up. what could take 2 hours in a game could take years in real life........... utterly chilling to think about!

re: titanfall i have never heard of that game before bUT YOU'RE RIGHT IT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE EOT ON THE COVER LMAO

AND THE SOUNDTRACK!!!! THE SOUNDTRACK!!!! i get goosebumps every time the end credits roll i swear. there's never been a more perfect outro to a more perfect movie. doug liman i am in your goddamn walls.

excellent thoughts, 10/10, i LOVE to hear this kind of thing!!! i hadn't thought much about the underlying horror implications of eot being video game-esque before but honestly it is so fucked and i will be sending my therapy bill to tom & mcq for it <3

#ask #reply #callmearcturus #mutual

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flowergirlmiwa · 11 months

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miwa musical review: musical #3 - groundhog day musical

recently as someone who has never seen a proper stage musical to any real extent until july of 2023, i've taken interest in checking out this medium. i thought a review series would be funny because all my thoughts will literally be "this was good i think i had fun the people sang and then i was like wow.."

the first musical i watched (yknow outside of two dozen animated musical films which don't count for this) was spongebob the musical because schaffrillas productions an influential YTPer turned video essayist (in the tradition of emplemon while having a lot less fash vibes) made a video about it praising it. i've liked spongebob since 1999 and i like the musical. actually i watched it twice. I like this musical I think it is Good and the Performances were Good and most of the songs were Good but it didnt have much plot and i dont have any observations schaffrillas didnt include in his video.

also that is pretty much the first thing i ever used paramount plus for and ive been Paying For It for six months

the second musical i ever watched was les miserables. personally i'm a little disappointed because there weren't ANY miserable lesbians as far as i could tell, plenty of other miserable people but not visible lesbians. not very swagever of them if you ask me. i actually watched this because of my familiarity with the work through dathings (mentioning lots of YTP in this one). seeing the adventures of joj valjoj unfold before my eyes was a time and i kinda understood what was happening and songs

as a longtime fan of the bill murray movie groundhog day, actually, as someone who would put groundhog day in her top five favorite movies of all time, i was immediately intrigued after sarah z (not a YTPer, as far as i know) praised it in her most recent video. so what do i think? pretty much instantly i got that the musical was a perfect medium for an adaptation of this story, and they pretty much nailed it. maybe the only thing i could have asked for more would be one more song once the day turns over but eh. that was just my random expectation it's not actually a flaw to not have one there. so yeah. that's all i got. i enjoyed it and thought it was a great adaptation of a thing i love

what is the future for me and musicals? will i continue mostly checking out ones that are adaptations of stuff i already like and not even bother with the true classics that i'm not even fully aware of? yes i think

#my post #miwa musical review #groundhog day #groundhog day musical

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harryfeatgaga · 2 years

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Don't Worry Darling Review!!! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

OKAY SO right off the bat, amazing cinematography and the score and soundtrack are incredible like seriously two of the best parts of the movie hands down. The visuals and aesthetic were just fucking stunning I'm obsessed and Palm Springs was truly the perfect place to have filmed it in.

The fucking costumes!!!!!!! Oh my god it deserves awards honestly they were so good and just added to the whole aesthetic and vibe of the movie 10/10. Harry in suits will always be sexy I fear.

Harry my beloved.........he acted his fucking ass offffff!!!! Like obviously I'm gonna think he's amazing no matter what but he truly did such an amazing job he played to extremes of his character and delivered what was needed every time. Like I was very aware for the first half that I was watching Harry Styles up there on the screen but the second half of that movie.....just wow.

Chris pine…..he was absolutely perfect for Frank. Everytime he spoke I got chills and was honestly so fascinated and interested to see what he was gonna say next like he was so believable I'd join a cult or something if he was the leader tbh. Him and Gemma together….wow stunning 10/10 Gemma was fucking incredible. I wish she had a bigger role but every scene and line she fucking DELIVEREDDDDD. And I was just in awe of her beauty everytime she was on screen.

Florence ate of course. The iconic frown/pout came out many times which always serves. She truly gave the performance of a lifetime (sorry syd stole your quote but it's true) like you felt so bad for her and was rooting for her the whole time and again especially the second half. Random but her hair looked incredible the whole time.

Like her or not but Olivia is a good actress and director. Her character was fucking hilarious and so good, and a lot of the times the comedic relief tbh, and the perfect counterpart to Alice .This movie isn't perfect as pretty much all aren't but it was so good it kept me on the edge of my seat and even though I had a general idea of what happened there was still so many parts I physically gasped out loud, covered my hand over my mouth and was just fucking shook.

Kiki was amazing wish she had been in it more she is so stunning I couldn't look away, she was incredible.

Nick Kroll im in love with you.......he was also hilarious him and the perfect husband to olivia's character and I wish he was in it more as well.

Asif also fucking hilarious and yet again wish he had been in it more but every scene he had was so funny lmfao this movie was way funnier than I thought it was gonna be. It was a good mix.

I'll put my closing statement here for those who don't want to scroll to the spoilers BUT overall I really fucking loved it. As a psychological thriller, horror and just movie fan this movie delivered exactly what I wanted and more. I knew I would like it either way but truly so relieved like I actually genuinely loved it and was so entertained and on edge the whole two hours.

AND HARRY WAS FUCKING RIGHT IT'S A MOVIE THAT FEELS LIKE A MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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THIS PART CONTAINS SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT DO NOT READ!!!!!!!!!!!

***************************************************************

Harry.............he was literally a whole husband like i believe all the little things he did is shit he does irl and i want to DIEEEEEE

THE FUCKING FIRST CAR SCENE WITH HIM AND FLORENCE….HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!!!! THAT WAS THE MOST PAINFUL PART FOR ME BY FARRRRR HE WAS SOOOOO FUCKING CUTE AND SUCH A HUSBANDDDDD OH IM DEVASTATEDHFDJHJIK

The scene where alive and bunny are talking to frank and shelleys kids was so fucking funny like the okay bye bye! and the 'they probably sleep upside down' KILLED ME NFJBHUJDJK

The fucking......Bath scene……my fucking god the thoughts running through my head when he ever said 'lets have a baby, I want more of you, a little you' etc......I WAS SHAKINGGJNGJK!??!?!?!?

The party and tap scene was so fucking iconic like harry was tapping his ass off!!!! tap dancing king!!!

THE CAR SCENE WHEN HARRY'S SCREAMING BROKE MY FUCKING HEART HE ACTED SO WELL some people might think his sorrys and that weren't good but like he's acting like he's upset that shes getting taken away which im sure he is but also hes upset because of what this could mean for him and his job and life etc....the layers im just....I was so impressed with him.

Would love to just know more backstory especially around Jack and Alice like why did jack lose his job how did he get alice looking like that JNFGHUJCI and the song??? did he make that up as he was setting up the simulation or whatever or is that just a song of theirs they sang to each other like???? and also would love to know about bunnys back story especially the kids??? and how she knew the whole time that was crazy I did not see that coming at all!!!

The last like 30 mins of that movie are fucking insane like i was gasping out loud every few minutes i was SHOOK and like......that was not my harry I was blown away obviously he looked not himself at all those scenes were fucking crazy but even when he was jack in that last scene......holy fuck!!!!!! AND I DID NOT SEE WHAT ALICE TO HIM COMING AT ALLLLLLL LIKE OH MY GOD?!?!?!??!

#dont worry darling review #dont worry darling spoilers #dwd spoilers #dwd #spoilers

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caralara · 1 year

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funny how there’s a person claiming to have seen the movie from working at a theatre when workers are categorically not allowed to watch any releases beforehand. Most theatre workers are part time uni students, spoilers would be going around so easily if people could watch releases early like that all the time.

On the other hand, person who *could possibly, at the risk of being extremely unprofessional* watch an early release is a distributor (i.e. my mom who adores Louis). And yeah, we watched the movie late last night over dinner and it’s an absolute treat, watching Louis and his relationship with people around him is beautiful, he treats everyone with so much love and respect and in that sense it really is like the way the AFHF doc shows Louis and Helene, except here we also see him with his band, with Charlie and with Freddie (Freddie is off screen for most of it, it’s generally faraway shots of the two with Louis’ vo). He expresses his love for us multiple, multiple times and talks about balancing his profession and his personal life, about feeling off balance once he became a solo artist and is just open and honest and vulnerable and genuine. No talks about queer fans being weird or fans making theories about his son, don’t know where that is coming from.

Don’t know if you want to believe this “review” or not, but you’re literally getting the film in just a few days, you’ll see for yourselves. There’s no point forming opinions over other peoples reviews especially if you can’t guarantee if they’re real or fake.

oh wow I’ve been chosen now too, to deliver reviews of early birds watching the film via anons!

I think the last bit you said is important: there’s no point in getting upset about hypothetical reviews by other people until you’ve seen it yourself and made up your mind about it.

I do expect the doc just to be like the afhf doc in Long, and that there’s a few Freddie shots but nothing too close (I mean the “hug” in the trailer was so awkward already lol), but I don’t think there will be anything revelatory, or inflammatory. I don’t think Louis will risk his fanbase by commenting on their queerness. I don’t think he’ll state that he’s straight (that would close so many doors in the future) but you know, never say never…

#anon #aotv #another review #👀#any more out there?#let’s be unprofessional together

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adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy · 2 years

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okay here’s my dwd review, buckle up 🫡

beginning to middle was pretty slow, middle to end was good!

the fluffy scenes between Alice and Jack were done really well, the chemistry between Harry and Flo felt so natural

HARRY LOOKED SO HANDSOME 😩 ON HIS PRETTY BOY SHIT FR!! The camera loves him, it makes me sick

Chris Pine played an excellent villain, he really embodies that egotistical manipulative psycho role perfectly

I felt like the plotline of Alice starting to realize something was wrong happened way too abruptly and inorganically. Like she just randomly started having flashbacks and doubts for no reason. I know Margaret kinda played a part in it, but Alice’s initial doubts didn’t really have much to do with her. I know the song was also a part of it, but its implied that she’s been harmlessly thinking about the tune for a while, and the idea that it just spontaneously triggers her despite the fact that she had it in her head for a long time is kinda unrealistic to me 🤷‍♀️ When things happen in a series of events/a domino effect, it really builds an exciting plot, and that’s what was missing from the beginning. I remember that in the original script, Alice finds a key while she’s doing Jack’s laundry, and her curiosity about its purpose is was leads her to find the portal and causes everything to unfold. Personally, I feel like they should have kept that, or at least kept the theme of it and have something like that set everything off.

Speaking of the tune, Harry did a really good job with it!! It was the perfect amount of creepy and it fit the entire film to a T

The entire dancing scene just seemed very unnecessary to me tbh! I heard a take about how it’s supposed to be a metaphor for how Frank puppeteers Jack and the entire community bc he’s literally seen as a god by them, which makes sense ofc, but the only reason I understand that analogy is because it was brought to my attention. Someone who is watching the movie and trying to draw their own conclusions from it probably wouldn’t have realized that’s what it was about (I’m using my sister as an example: she went with me and had absolutely no clue what the dancing was about and thought it was stupid 💀)

The whole thing with the plane crash was so ??? it’s one of those things that just felt like it was scribbled into the plot for the sake of haphazardly connecting some dots

The tension/face-off between Alice and Frank was 🤌 I loved the way he challenged her and she took it in stride and put up a good fight on her end. And Gemma’s entire ruthless monologue was done so well on her part

Flo’s acting is insane!! Like her talent never fails to leave me speechless, the way she’s so good with microexpressions and acting with her eyes…I adore her. The character shift she underwent when she had her epiphany and finally remembered her real life?? How she went from a proper housewife to cursing and yelling and fighting back?? 🫡

The whole scene after the dinner where Alice and Jack are discussing running away and then she gets taken by the Victory people was done really well!! Again, Flo’s acting in the car scene was so raw and realistic, 10/10. And Harry’s acting in this scene also really impressed me, I feel like he kept up with Flo nicely, which I honestly didn’t expect at all LMAO 💀 he did well with his expressions, his body language, and his dialogue, and I was like wow okay he has good potential

As for his acting across the entire film, I think he did good! He was going up against some legendary, experienced people (Flo, Chris, Gemma), so I expected it to be a very starch contrast in terms of talent to the point where he’d likely get overshadowed/stick out, but he managed to hold his own!! I remember when the Eternals scene came out, I was one of the people who felt that it looked very fake; he didn’t seem like an actual character, he just seemed like Harry in a superhero suit reciting some lines 💀 but in this movie, I think he actually embodied his role, and it felt like he was the character, and that he was playing who he was meant to play. Which is great, cause I was terrified that he’d flop and embarrass us 😭 a summary: he did good, still needs some work (which is expected), but he did his job and it was a nice acting debut on his part

I was left wanting some more depth to the characters. I wanted to know more about Jack’s background/identity in their real life, about Frank and what led him to create Victory, and how Jack discovered Victory and what he had to do in order to put Alice in it. She was a surgeon in a hospital and had tons of people depending on her, so how did he just manage to basically rip her from her career and her life without anyone coming to look for her?? What about her family, who would definitely try to come find her if they hadn’t heard from her in a while?? And his family?? Stuff like that. And also, I wanted to know much more about Jack and Alice’s marriage before the simulation (how they met, how their relationship developed, when they got married, how and when things started going wrong after he lost his job, why he was such a useless bum 💀 etc etc etc).

Ending was good, you could see Jack had some major screws lose by that point and Harry portrayed that well!! The chase scene was cool, but when she stopped and literally just stood there thinking about him I was like girl that man is DEAD!!!! GO GO GO!!!! and then she woke up and it’s implied she survives and gets to go back to her life 🫡 good for her

This movie being marketed as an ode to female pleasure completely missed the mark. The only “pleasurable” thing was the surface-level sex, which honestly felt unnecessary to me, if I’m being honest. The scenes just felt thrown in there, which makes me believe that the only reason they exist in the first place is merely to use them as a way to draw people in since it’s Harry having sex 🤷‍♀️ one would have been more than enough, and it’s the only one that made any type of sense to me: the one where Frank is watching them. Gross and fucked up, I KNOW, but it’s the one that actually aligns with themes in the film. Again, Frank is seen as this overlord figure in the community, and him looming over that entire exchange when Jack and Alice thought they had privacy kinda reminds me of that saying that goes, “God sees all.”, which is later supported further by how Frank informs Alice that he knows about her attempt to get Bunny on her side, implying that he’s “always watching.” That was my take on it, anyways, so I can see how that one was useful to the plot. The other scene was just there SJDNSNDNSN

That’s all I have to say, I think!! All in all, I give it a 7/10. I was entertained, but I was left wanting more from it, especially with how long it took for this movie to finally come out

#dwd spoilers #dwd reviews

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lutawolf · 2 years

Note

Hello Luta,

How are you?

Hope you are alright. 😊

I just wanted to say how lucky I was that I stumbled opon your blog when I was going through VegasPete tags. This couple was the ONE for me. And how I see myself in Pete is mind-blowing to me. And on many blogs how people describe Pete as this innocent guy who was seduced by bad bad guy Vegas, just didn't make any sense for me. As it didn't seemed right how they described Pete.

So when I started reading your through on Pete and Vegas and there relationship, it just clicked, like YEEEESS finely someone described what I was seeing and put in such beautiful sentences 💙💙💙

Also as person who was exposed to 🌽 with element of BDSM in really young age and seeing the way it depiction lady's and women as exposable and useball... and It just broke my heart. When I was a little bit older and I had acseess to Internet I think ob the back of my head I still had that thought that it can be something I'm in to but finding information about BDSM at that time was nightmare expecially in my native language as there where so many depiction of women just being humiliated and put in slave position by man( And that was definitely somethingI was not interested in as child abuse survive and as a woman). So there was second time I gave it a go with 50ShadesofGray that film and before that that books was horrendous and only much later I read somewhere that people from BDSM community who explained why this is not right depiction of life style and community.

So here I am just watching BL KinnPorche expecting nothing, but maybe so hot bed scenes and I just feel like WOW....THIS IS IT. This is something I had pictured in my hear and it resonates with me. ( I do understand that the portrait of BDSM in series wasn't perfect and it is not the real life depiction 😊)

And than I found your blog and it was SOOOO eye opening like no kidding every time I read you post about BDSM I just sit down and trying to figure out is it something I will like. And it just every time 🤯🤯🤯.

You are the first person that I found you shows the reality of this life stile, without glamorising it. And I am SOOO GREATFUL TO YOU. Like you made me feel safe and comfortable even maybe it was or wasn't intentional. And it sooo free of judgment and your taking your time explaining staff it just 💙💙💙

Like I just came here to say THANK YOU SOOO MUCH. Like I cannot express how GREATFUL I am for you writing long metas or reviews of the shows and answering questions.

P.S. Sorry if there are mistakes as English is not my first language 😊😅.

P.S.S. Also sorry if this just doesn't make any sense 😬 😅 my ADHD and high emotions can get better of me.

P.S.S.S. If something I said or mentioned is making you uncomfortable, please ignore this rumbling. It was not my intention, the only think was to show how grateful I am to you writing this blog and how happy I am as I found it.

P.S.S.S.S. Also I hope I don't make you uncomfortable as I'm going through your blog rebloging all your old post. (Please let me know if I do make uncomfortable)

As I said before Thank You for Your blog.

Anna💙💙💙

Hey Hey anna,,

Thank you so much for the time you've spent on my blog 💜💜💜

Yeah.. Pete is far from innocent. He watched Vegas kill people and torture people without flinching. Because he has done the same thing. That's why he could easily forgive what was done to him by Vegas. He is no innocent. Nor kind. His generosity only extends to those in his circle.

You were conditioned. Whoosh. I'm so fucking sorry. I know you don't want pity cause I will literally throw hands at people who give it to me. But I am sorry and feel free to drop in my DM any time. I can't be your counselor but I'm happy to be a companion.

I try to be as real as possible about the lifestyle. It can be a wonderful place with the most accepting people. Real kinksters truly believe in safe, sane, and consensual. However, there are people who prey in the community and people aren't safe if that's swept under the rug. With that said, grooming is going to give you big fat triggers. You need to let anyone you are with know this. If you have any questions any at all, do not hesitate to ask me. Don't take any risks. Be safe.

There is no judgement on my blog. My kinkster flag will fly and I'm happy to give that support to others. Luckily others feel the same and it's built into a warm community. I'm glad you found us. 💜💜💜

Please never apologize for any mistakes. There will never be judgement here. I have only mad respect for all my bilingual peeps. To which all my friends are. Language shouldn't be about perfection but bridging the gap of community, so that we can better understand each other. So that we can lend support and companionship. Not to show how superior we are. So again never apologize about your English. I'm just here to hear you, not judge.

I too am ADHD and often go *bird* at any given time.

There was absolutely nothing that you said that made me uncomfortable. None. You were expressive and I understood everything you were telling me. 💜💜💜

I love when people like and/or repost my posts. It means you like my stuff. That's like a virtual high five or platonic kiss. *looking at you @ellaspore * Dude, I love that shit so spam away.

I used to try to give ad much love on ya'lls blogs as you gave me. You guys always win though. 😆 thank you for the Ask and the love. I truly appreciate it and seriously contact me if you need help with anything. 💜💜💜

Also PS: English is my first language and I fuck up all the time. It's why I don't write fiction any more. So seriously no judgement.

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nekropsii · 2 years

Note

wow i straight up had no idea that was how horror-slash-gore circles operated. never would have suspected that perception of the community to have been from christians and the satanic panic but now that i think about it it makes complete sense. do you have any recommendations for anyone who was interested in hostilestuck as a concept? as you said its absolutely not real but id love to hear some recommendations to those of us who liked the idea behind it. ty fr having such an informative blog btw

Glad I could grant you some new knowledge! Horror Fans and Horror Communities are often heavily misunderstood, and I’m more than happy to dispel some negative stereotypes and misinformation. I feel like I’m talking about a dog breed right now. We’re like Pit Bulls. Anyways.

Any time you hear people trashing Horror Fans just because… They like Horror, just remember they’re tackling that with the same Puritanical, Wholesome Christian Mindset as those guys who said D&D was Satanic and encouraged Sexual Deviancy, Homosexuality, Drug Use, and Prostitution. Same shit, different font. It’s a genre, who fuckin’ cares, lol.

If you like the concept behind Hostilestuck, specifically for the “Super Gory” aspect of it, go check out some Splatter films, or track down some particular gnarly Slashers. As always, I recommend the Saw franchise- especially the first four movies. I’ll also recommend the Reboot Timeline of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise- start with Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006), and THEN watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003). That’s the chronological order of it. My review is as follows: Thomas Hewitt is hot, and holy shit is everything super fucked up all the time.

Or you can just poison the well of your entire life and watch the Human Centipede trilogy. I don’t know. Live your life. I did it. It sucked, but it’s definitely pretty fucking gross, if the gross factor was the appeal for you.

You want something fucked up, but you’re more musically inclined? Babuchan. Go listen to Babuchan.

I literally can’t recommend anything based on the plot- we don’t know anything about the plot, except that it’s Homestuck but with more gore and hyperrealistic blood or whatever. Read some Creepypasta. You want a good Creepypasta? Check out I'm a Search and Rescue Officer for the US Forest Service, I Have Some Stories to Tell. Baller fucking story, I reference it to this day.

Go have fun. If any of you guys check any of these things out, tell me about it! Love watching people react to the things I recommend, lol.

#i understand those are some pretty easy recommendations but that just makes it more accessible I think!!#homestuck #hostilestuck #nekro.pdf #nekro.sms

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munchflix · 2 years

Text

MUNCHFLIX - THE REQUIN

IMDB BLURB: A couple on a romantic getaway find themselves stranded at sea when a tropical storm sweeps away their villa. In order to survive, they are forced to fight the elements, while sharks circle below.

WARNINGS: Cheesy gore, the ocean, unbelievably cheap CGI, unbelievable amount of yelling. Gifs include cheesy blood/gore and, unfortunately, terrible special effects.

RATING: A movie about a heroic shark that trying to rid the world of stupid people. ( shout out to chriztwisted on the imdb page )

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: All reviews are done solely for humor and should not be taken seriously ever. If you cannot handle cursing, crude humor and probably some offensive things, pls do not read this.

Munch: I wanna give a quick shout out to Alicia Silverstone for her incredible lung power in this movie. Girl, you are an internet icon, wtf are you doing in this movie. There has to be a better way out there for you. This is some Lifetime Original shit. You're not going to see anything original in this god forsaken cookie cutter "shark" film, but you are going to root for the shark. Biscuits once again making margarita. People are gonna start to think you're an alcoholic.

Biscuits: Is this a shark movie? I don't know. We both watched this and all I remember is it sucked and these people are DUMB. What is this even called?

M: The Requin, which is french for shark.

B: I forgot about this backstory at the beginning!

M: So our main chick, Alicia Silverstone here, had a miscarraige? Either way she lost a baby. This will be really and not at all important throughout the film.

B: I don't know what this has to do with anything at all. She has a husband. Kyle, HusbandMan. He is as generic as she is. That's how the internet works, buddy, everyone is your therapist.

M: For context, the happy couple is going over some text messages from her friends. It adds no depth to the characters. We have not been told where they are or why.

B: They're on a vacation of some sort in a bungalow near some water in a place with palm trees. Could be Florida, could be the other side of the world. There's some establishing shots that imply an asian country. Oh no the movie has now told us that they are in Vietnam.

M: Now a vacation montage! With some bad bad music.

B: This fully looks like an advertisement. I’m expecting an end card that says - Ask your doctor is Shlorpex is right for you. Side effects may include spontaneous human combustion. My margarita is crunchy. First world problems.

Ask your doctor if getting eaten by a fucking shark is right for you.

M: This has been going on for like five minutes.

B: To establish they're happy! This is just a movie about two white people who have a great vacation! They go to a war memorial!?

M: And ask white people questions. What is the point of this? I don't understand what any of this lead up has to do with the rest of the movie. Are we supposed to draw some parallel between her and Joan of Arc?

B: Now she's video chatting her mom? I didn't catch this part the first time we watched this.

M: There's so much work up to where ANYTHING HAPPENS. Like an hour of it.

B: She has family members. Like a mom and a sister so you empathize with her. I have family! We're so alike!

M: Side note, the acting is....incredible. The dialogue is also incredible.

B: So she lost her job, and her kid, which is kind of a big deal. And it looks like that might have been her last chance.

M: WOW.

B: Time runs out! She's getting up there! I'm just saying! How's Kyle? Oh he's fine! He seems like he's not sad at all about our dead child! Maybe we shouldn't do this review, I’m getting spicy in this one.

M: You are! Oh there's a hurricane, but feel free to video chat even longer. That literally went on for ten minutes. They could have cut like the entire first hour of this movie out.

B: My first review of the Requin, you can watch only the second half and get the same experience. Oh look, being on vacation has not served to make me no longer sad about my traumatic experience.

M: I'm still reeling from Kyle's dadbod.

B: Bring back Jared Leto.

M: No. But this movie might be improved by Jared Leto.

B: I'd pay attention for a couple seconds at least. Alicia at least has a natural looking body which is nice to see. They didn't try to make her or him look artificially hotter or anything.

M: Now a long pointless bit of them going swimming/scuba diving. And some stock footage, which there is a TON of. Like the dude just went on youtube and looked up scenes from underwater.

B: A turtle! I love sea turtles. Look at this wise creature - they always look like they've got some sage advice for you.

This stock footage of a sea turtle is the most exciting thing that’s happened in the movie so far.

M: Now Kyle has cut his foot like really badly on a rock and we're getting flashbacks to the worst pregnancy belly we've ever seen while Alicia has flashbacks to, I guess losing her baby. I'm still not sure what that has to do with the movie.

B: This isn't a movie about a woman dealing with the grief over the loss her her child though, it's about a fucking shark. You would not believe the turn it takes if you didn't know where it was going.

M: The shark doesn't even show up until an hour into the movie. Now she's crying and screaming again, she's gonna do this a LOT. Kyle is explaining that his wife isn't at fault while she stands in the water, crying about blaming herself.

B: The acting is really bad. Like, I might actually feel for the backstory if the acting wasn't really really bad. I have trouble reconciling that this is the same movie that the whole shark thing happens in.

M: *checks time* *sighs* Oh apparently vacation time is over because Alicia has PTSD and isn't having fun ANYMORE. So they're gonna leave. Except they're not.

B: Her name is Jaelyn. That's a Hobby Lobby shopper name right there.

M: What a white fucking name. Shout outs to all the Jaelyns reading this. We could literally skip ahead half an hour.

B: We gotta stop reviewing movies where nothing happens.

M: But shit is gonna happen! I also love that she saw a fucking hurricaine warning and not only didn't tell Kyle, but they're in a FLOATING VILLA.

B: And the hotel wasn't like - hey maybe we should evacuate the people from the floating bungalows.

The hurricane’s getting closer.

M: Kyle says it's fine though. Just a storm. No big. I wanna keep a tally of BAD DECISIONS. 1 - not mentioning the hurricane to kyle. 2 - not relocating. Okay so somehow they slept clear til their entire bungalow was flooded up to the bed and water is literally raining down on them but now they're awake! Kyle got thrown by some poltergeist and he's badly injured now. I guess the room thing is floating away. Alicia tries to make a call on a water logged phone.

B: His leg is broken and their fucking bungalow gets swept out to sea. This was a sad movie about a woman on vacation but now it's a disaster movie! And it turns into a shark movie! Hey you know that Motley Crue movie the girl at Sam Goody was talking about? It's on Netflix. We should watch it for Munchflix.

M: *stares* So anyway, bad decision three...they see themselves floating away and DON'T swim back to shore.

B: I don't know if I would, the water is very stormy.

M: And badly cgen'd. I would consider swimming if my other option is drifting out to sea??? Where I would die slowly and horribly??? I'd risk drowning.

B: A bad situation in general. Kind of not excellent for our dudes.

M: Alicia is hanging out the window of the bungalow and the cgi is so bad, this movie came out this year. Kyle throws her under the haus so she doesn't hit the big obvious rock and the ocean is suddenly remarkably calm. Hurricane over.

B: Kyle is in the remnants of the villa. His leg is REAL fucked up.

M: What are we gonna do? Make BAD decisions. Number four - we're gonna wait it out.

B: Again, you don't have a lot of options.

M: He's not even bleeding that much.

B: They put a tourniquet around it. Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor, I'm just a drunk guy on the internet, but I feel like should not do that. You apply pressure to stop bleeding. If you're like at risk of bleeding out then a tourniquet will probably work, but he’s not bleeding that much. Again...I'm not Bear Grylls....but do you want gangrene? That's how you get gangrene.

M: That's just basic first aid tho. This does not require a doctorate. Don't tourniquet shit unless you absolutely have to. So that's number five. Now oh look...they're not land locked!

B: They're in the wreckage of a villa in the middle of the Pacific ocean.

They be in situations.

M: “We couldn't have drifted that far.” In a hurricane, Kyle?!? Alicia is gonna scream and cry some more. She's kind of mad that she didn't swim for help.

B: What's important right now is that we are fucking dying. Kyle tries to stand on his broken ass leg.

M: Number six. There's gonna be a lot more here real quick, these people never watched Man vs Wild.

B: Someone watched I Shouldn't be Alive and went - what if that but with bad acting?

M: Also they rip off the Shallows a lot. And that movie sucks too. We actually thought about doing it for Munchflix.

B: It's a similar kind of nonsense. Who was that even made for?

M: People who like Blake Lively?

B: Ryan Reynolds exclusively.

M: Alicia goes snorkeling without a snorkel to get some water bottles that have magically stayed under the villa this entire time. And a backpack. And some dramatic musical stings. And a school of what look like fucking piranha. Who knows if they're even native, it's stock footage. Kyle actually says - Honey, what's wrong?

B: She literally says - I got scared by fish. ( Insert repeated attempts at a failed ‘me every time I go to...’ joke here. ) Kyle is trying to be the optimist, but optimism is really all they have. Little gallows humor here. Kyle is bleeding a lot into the water despite the fact that his wound seemed to have stopped bleeding. Wounds don't bleed forever, unless you're a haemophiliac, in which case he would be dead.

M: As far as I can tell, they're implying a compound fracture in his leg anyway because it's open through the skin. He would be having FAR bigger problems from that already anyway.

B: Oh by the way it's hot. Hot enough to burn the inside of Kyle's thigh. He is hot. Fun fact, heat is very dangerous. Especially if you're stranded in the middle of the ocean with no water.

M: So what do these idiots do? They take a nap in it. These two white people would be burned to SHIT. Alicia tries to signal a plane but there's no way in hell they'd see them.

B: If that's a commercial airliner it can't just swoop down and pick up some randos anyway. Could maybe send for help, but it can’t just stop and grab you like it’s a fucking bus.

M: Bad decision six? Seven? They decide to build a fucking FIRE in the villa, their only source of shelter, using a water bottle as a magnifying glass with wet wood and wet paper. Alicia is screaming again.

30 ways to set your only shelter on fire for $2 or less!

B: They look very sweaty. Fun fact, you can die of dehydration in a couple hours!

M: Doctor Biscuits in the house. Fire failed but it's fine because they're still lost at sea. And still laying in the sun. Like a couple of morons. They could like...move, or try to rig a shade structure.

B: Alicia is collecting moisture from a tarp. There's like zero indication of how much time has passed ever in this movie, but I guarantee these two motherfuckers are dead already of heat stroke. People have survived some really extreme situations in real life but people have also DIED in really extreme situations.

M: She screams at a distant boat and then decides to start a fire again. Her constant whimpering and moaning are just insane. Montage of her yelling while Kyle starts a fire in the fucking villa.

B: There's smoke. Congratulations, you set the villa on fire. When will you learn that your actions have consequences?

M: Not anytime soon! The entire villa goes up in flames. She tries to put it out by hitting it with a backpack.

B: She went to the Malin Ackermann school of firefighting. Now they have NO shelter. And Kyle is still bleeding somehow into the water. Is he, you know....(ominous music)

M: So now our idiots are floating on pieces of debris in the open ocean. Just like the end of titanic except that it's just like a twig. Now for another fake out jumpscare. There's dolphins. OH MY GOD DOLPHINS. Okay but you should legit be afraid of dolphins, they are vile.

B: I mean a dolphin might try to molest you but it probably won’t kill you.

M: *dies laughing* Alicia, adrift in the middle of the Pacific Ocean says - " We have to get out of the water!"

B: You'd better swim like there's...fuck, what’s something white people like? You better swim like there’s Blake Shelton at the other end of the pool!

M: How many times has Kyle's leg like actively made a cracking noise. Alicia is like utterly freaking, she is whimpering constantly.

B: I like how Kyle is the calm one. He's just chill. A dolphin! He jumps. Beautiful creatures of nature. Also that was a bottlenose dolphin and in the next shot those are not. Different dolphins. These fools can't tell the difference between species of dolphins.

M: So they paddled to a bigger piece of wood. Kyle's leg would be like...swollen and infected and like...gangrenous by now. Unless it's only been like an hour. We have no idea.

B: This is all my fault, woman continues to blame herself. Is this character development?

M: Is now really the time for this talk, Kyle?

B: All in all he seems like a nice man.

M: She is really awful though. Oh Kyle is coughing, he got pneumonia. Alicia assures him they're not gonna die. You remember when I saw you with that Pitbull? Why is it capitalized?

B: She didn't have a dog, she had Pitbull, the man. And she was like - well I could be dating literally anyone other than Pitbull so yeah, I'll go out with you. So yeah, white people dying at sea ‘like rock stars’. That's not how rock stars die. They die of a cocaine overdose or they get arrested or something. You're gonna have to eat Kyle and drink his blood for hydration.

M: You really are spicy.

B: The first time I watched this I was rooting for her to eat him the whole time! Spoiler alert! She doesn't eat him! This movie has such a low budget I feel like filming this was as dangerous in real life as it is in the movie. Kyle is still bleeding, he would be dead by now.

M: Oh yeah there's a shark now, and somehow it split the piece of wood they were on. Alicia yells FUCK YOU at shark, which would be a rock star death. She's stabbing it with a random piece of wood. That was a great white stock footage shark.

‘Thrashing in a sea of blood’ may sound like some sick heavy metal lyrics, but it’s actually way lamer than that.

B: Where is my husband? Based on the amount of blood, he's dead. Oh no he's alive, but the shark is biting his legs off. Kyle is like - I am dying RIGHT NOW you're gonna have to leave.

M: Because splashing a lot with a shark nearby and blood in the water is good idea number seven.

B: Just push Kyle's body off the raft at this point. He's fucking dead. I guess the shark is just gone? Now it's nighttime so at least one day has passed but it feels like more than that.

M: It would help if they gave us some clue. Kyle is still somehow on the "raft" but he's fucking dead. They found a key or something of land. Or she did. Kyle's dead. She's gonna cry and whimper again.

B: The shark bit both his legs off! He is DECEASED. I understand you're upset but my man is dead. They show his leg stumps while she cries.

M: Oh god now more flashbacks to her losing her baby for....some reason???? What is the point of that?? Woman vocalizes. Solemn music. Let your aaaaaaarms enfold uuuuuuuus. Now she's gonna have a dream sequence?

B: She hallucinates him walking toward her. I don't know what purpose this serves. He tells her to live. And then very creepily says - do you remember the feeling of the baby inside you? Simba, remember who you are.

M: Alicia wakes up in the sand.

B: I hate sand. It's coarse, rough, irritating. Gets everywhere.

M: Also still in the middle of the ocean. ( B: The ocean, Bob? You don’t know anybody in the ocean! ) Now it's raining. This bitch can't catch a break. She sadly watches the shark devour Kyle's remains. No, really. Oh shit the water is rising REALLY FAST.

B: Coral.png.

Those are some glossy saucy jpegs!

M: She's just gonna walk around in the coral with the sharks and get all cut up on some sharp coral jpegs and the shark comes up on land like sharks do and bites her fucking leg repeatedly but she's gonna grab a piece of coral and stab it.

B: The special effects look... really good. Also even though it looked like the shark was chewing her leg off, she's just got a wound there. She wraps her shirt around it and goes for a walk. Takes three steps and faceplants in the sand. The most relatable thing her character has done so far.

M: She would also be a much more serious situation considering how dehydrated and tired and hungry she is at this point. Somehow she can walk on that leg. The movie makes it look like she's crossing the fucking Sahara even though it's a sandbar.

B: How big can this key possibly be?

M: Wait, she found rocks. I thought she was on a sandbar?

B: Well they didn't have any establishing shot of the island so she could be on the goddamn moon for all we know. Also she's really good at climbing despite severe leg injury. She finds a local fisherman passed out in his boat.

M: She swimmy out to him and is like BITCH HELP. But he drunk. And asleep.

B: He's vibing. She tries to steal his water and realizes it is not water. He's like wtf with this white woman.

M: They have obvious “I don't understand what you're saying” conversation. But he can see that she is bleeding and he decides that he's gotta look at her wound.

B: He's gonna sew up her leg. Like just paddle your fucking boat back to land! It can't be that far! She was doing okay for the 12 hours or so she was fucking passed out for!

M: Bad decision number 12 or whatever, stitching up without clean instruments or fucking proper antiseptic. She don't like having booze poured on it but he's gonna have some too so it's fine. This goes on for too long for no reason. He doesn't even properly stitch it up, he puts in like one stitch.

B: Maybe they just abbreviated the scene unlike every other scene. And we think maybe the movie is coming to a close, ,aybe he'll take her back to town - but first he's gotta get his crab cage.

M: Woman's dying in my boat but whatever.

B: Fucking tourists. The sharks are near! Like she can telepathically sense the sharks. He's a fisherman, wouldn't he know there's sharks around here??

M: His severed arm floats up and she's screaming again but she's trying to pull up the anchor but OH NO IT'S A SHARK. The shark grabs him and he grabs her and pulls her in the water.

A very serious film dealing with the heavy subjects of grief and loss.

B: Now they're both in the water so that's a bigger problem. She's like nah man, fuck you, you're on you're own. She does try to haul him up into the boat but the shark is back and it has grown SIGNIFICANTLY.

M: The shark that took limbs off other people just kind of nibbled her. She gets the anchor up after some serious whimpering. She's amazingly strong all things considered.

B: The fisherman had a propeller tho so she's gonna use it to fucking fight the shark. She's gonna chainsaw the shark with this propeller. Shark takes it like a champ tho.

M: NOT TODAY, SHARK. Oh also she can't see land anywhere else so where the hell is she gonna go. The shark is coming BACK for some reason, but the propeller is out of juice and the cgen is oh....man....

B: *chefs kiss*

M: Oh man...an even LARGER cgen shark jumps out of the water and flips over the boat and Alicia is still whimpering, but the anchor has dropped again and this shit is getting The Shallows all over. She's tied up in the ropes tho.

B: It bites the anchor tho, and into the brain and DEATH.

M: Because that would happen. So now she's alive and the shark is dead and she's gonna climb onto the overturned boat thing and LIIIIIIVE. But not without whimpering ever more.

B: She's finally safe from Shia LeBouf.

M: Turns out there's land like....10 feet away.

B: The people are like hey it's whatsisass's boat but he's dead so she lives I guess.

M: And now some amazing Hayley Westenra style music again and Alicia floats slowly to safety and the movie is over.

B: *moans loudly making up his own lyrics* WE LOVE EACH OTHER AND HNNNGGGGG

M: Stunts? There were stunts?

B: Water safety.

M: Shoutouts to the...covid officers??

B: I guess for covid safety rules?

M&B: THE PRODUCERS WISH TO THANK FULL SAIL UNIVERSITY!

M: Oh god closing thoughts. Uh....I mean we review bad movies but this one really isn't worth your time. You saw the gifs. That's as good as it gets. Ever. The acting is bad, the cgen is bad, the plot is bad, and confusing, the people are dumb, and the point is lost.

B: This movie is kind of fascinatingly bad. I mean, like, it was kinda entertaining, but it's not good. The acting is pretty terrible and you don't actually care about any of the characters. But it's sorta got that 'watching a train wreck' vibe about it, you just can't look away.

Munch and Biscuits out, yo.

#the requin #shark #humor #review #movie review #munchflix #biscuits #alicia silverstone #horror?#horror #stock footage #the ocean bob??#you don't know anyone in the ocean

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watching-pictures-move · 2 years

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Movie Review | Crimes of the Future (Cronenberg, 2022)

This review contains spoilers.

On this Canada Day in the year of our Lord 2022, I decided to do my patriotic duty and support a great Canadian filmmaker. So I hopped on the subway, headed downtown to the TIFF Bell Lightbox (a theatre that's been responsible for some of my favourite moviegoing experiences, but perhaps has lost some of its luster recently thanks to increasingly boring programming choices) and handed over my hard earned Canadian dollars for a ticket to David Cronenberg's Crimes of the Future. Now, this wasn't just patriotism at work, although there is a certain national pride I feel in enjoying the work of a great director who came out of this country whose work doesn't have that stench of distinctly Canadian lameness about it. (It might be hard to explain to non-Canadians, but imagine if 90% of the film and TV output of your country was centered on the most boring, tacky signifiers of national identity. Tune in to the CBC and just drown in an embarrassing flood of hockey, Tim Hortons, "aboot" and "eh".) But there's also the fact that like many movie fans, Cronenberg's work is near and dear to me.

Videodrome was a formative movie for me during my high school years, not just because it was a cold, weird, off putting movie that also kicked ass, but because it was a kind of metaphor for my cinephilia, putting me on a quest for the weirder horizons of cinema. (So yes, I'm going to blame my embarrassing viewing history over the last two years all on this one movie.) At the time it felt like I watched something truly transgressive. A movie with this collection of plot points shouldn't exist. Snuff TV, stomach vaginas, fleshy bulging cassettes, kinky redheaded Debbie Harry? The last one may have broken my brain. Why does the singer from Blondie have red hair? Also the whole kinky weirdo angle.

In that respect, Crimes of the Future offers up two characters in the same tradition, who I suspect would have similarly wreaked havoc on my cerebral functions had I watched this at a younger age. There's Lea Seydoux, former surgeon and partner of Viggo Mortensen, with whom she does a performance art act of cutting out his organs for an audience. And there's Kristen Stewart, as a bureaucrat in a secret government agency responsible for logging Mortensen's organs who not-so-secretly is turned on by all this. (An early scene has her visibly aroused as she inspects Mortensen's organs through a camera jammed inside his stomach.) She coins the movie's key phrase: "Surgery is the new sex." (Seydoux and Mortensen have scenes together that show this concept in fairly literal terms, which kind of grossed me out but I suspect will do a lot for somebody somewhere.) The former brings an innate warmth and emotion to an otherwise cold and alienating movie (is there another actress currently who is as good at looking on the verge of tears?), and the latter has a nervy delivery that provides some of the movie's biggest laughs.

Now, I suppose I should gesture towards the overall plot, which features Mortensen and Seydoux wowing the art world with their daring surgery-centric performance art. This is in the context of a world where human evolution is leading to the growth of weird and scary new organs and a corresponding increase in aggressive body modifications. Some of this seems to be a vehicle for Cronenberg to air out his thoughts on art, and one especially funny scene has a rival artist dance to techno music while covered in ears in his self-satisfied, up-its-own-ass act. This is a funnier movie than I expected, although much of the humour is of the deadpan variety. I already mentioned Stewart's comic timing, but I also chuckled at Mortensen's outfit, which looks like something a ninja would wear, or perhaps pilfered from a Yohji Yamamato or Rick Owens collection. The wardrobe of the rest of the cast is less dramatic, aside from the rise of their pants. (Yes, yes, I'm talking about clothes again.)

But there's also a political dimension, as Mortensen is working undercover for the government to infiltrate a group of subversives, although it wasn't clear to me what exactly the ideological difference was between the two parties. The movie is not interested in political coherence, and seems cagey about the nature of the government's repression, although we do get a sense of atmospheric decay from the crumbling Greek locations, presence of analog technology (which leads to the sporadic use of different film and video formats), and scenes of political operatives carrying out grisly assassinations. (There is also the frequent presence of flies, which I found a bit on the nose.) I suppose there are similarities here to the vagueness with which Videodrome sketches out its political dimensions, but that movie at least put words to the villains' ideology, giving that element a certain charge.

"North America's getting soft, patrón, and the rest of the world is getting tough. Very, very tough. We're entering savage new times, and we're going to have to be pure and direct and strong, if we're going to survive them. Now, you and this cesspool you call a television station and your people who wallow around in it, your viewers who watch you do it, they're rotting us away from the inside. We intend to stop that rot."

I haven't seen Cronenberg's last few films, but there is a sense that he was getting more respectable over the last two decades. (I'd seen A History of Violence and Eastern Promises from that period. Both quite good, but aside from a few instances of extreme violence, fairly palatable to mainstream tastes.) So seeing him go back to the biopunk sensibilities of his earlier work, the stuff that speaks to me more directly, does make the movie pretty interesting in the context of his career, and I did mostly enjoy seeing him play around with those elements. But where movies like Videodrome, Scanners and Shivers (to take a few examples) work for me and this one doesn't is that those movies had a certain cohesion and forward momentum. You enter worlds that are fairly well defined and attach yourself to protagonists who are propelled through their narratives, all delivered with a feverish, punk rock energy. (Of those movies, Videodrome has the best leading man in James Woods, whose sleazy presence gives added queasiness to the proceedings.) This movie has no real interest in making its contextual elements cohere, and kind of ambles to its climax. Also, I appreciate that we all have different sensitivities to certain subject matter, but the fact that this movie places its dramatic crux on something as upsetting as a child autopsy completely alienated me from the final section. And that the movie closes with a scene of what looks like the worst YouTube food vlog in the world meant that I was not won back before the end credits rolled.

#film #movie review #crimes of the future #david cronenberg

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