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ranhaitanisgf · 7 months

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aaaaaAAAAA CONGRATS ON 2K !! IM SO HAPPY & PROUD OF YOUUUUU ILYSM YOU DONT KNOW HOW MYCH I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR HCS 🗣!!

ofc i HAD to join on this event 🤩 may i have a scenario for “oblivious ‘best friends’ “ & “getting sick” with inui? where reader FINALLY realizes that inui actually cared for her more than a friend would ? preferably fluff 🛐 TQSM LOVE I APPRECIATE IT [cry] <3

— inui [inupi] seishu // obvlivious best friends // getting sick

[𖤐] ANON THATS SO SWEET !!!! im sorry for disappearing for so damn long !!! i hopeeee yall enjoy this, as i went wayyyy over word limit once again !! i also rewrote this like two hundred million times cuz i was struggling w the vibes idk ... anywho. enjoy my loveliessss xoxooooo

wc ; 1.7k+

masterlist || 2k masterlist

inui was worried.

well, he wasn’t sure that that was quite the word to sum up how he was feeling at the moment, but it was the best he could come up with at the moment.

his worry had started around a week ago, when you had stopped showing up to toman meetings. it was highly unusual, since even though you took on more of a strategic role rather than a fighting role, you still would attend every meeting to offer your input on different issues and how to solve them. you prided yourself on your intellect and being able to strategize, so the first day you hadn’t shown up, it was already ringing alarm bells in his mind.

after the second, third, and fourth day, inui was sure that something terrible had happened, and somehow nobody had told him. however, even after asking around all the divisions, and even mikey himself, he concluded that nobody had a clue as to where you were. every time he tried to call your cell, it went straight to voicemail, and all the texts that he sent were still on delivered.

and so now, as any best friend would do, he showed up at your apartment.

he had visited a couple times in the last week, repeatedly pressing your doorbell and knocking on the door for what seemed like forever. he didn’t want to intrude into your home, but his worry was getting to its peak, so, as an normal person would do, he decided to break your door down.

sure, he felt pretty guilty about it, especially since your landlord would probably give you hell about it, but the pros outweighed the cons in this situation.

pros: he gets to see if you’re safe.

cons: your landlord gets angry and increases your rent, your door is broken until it gets fixed, your neighbors will be upset (maybe), you might get kicked out of your apartment.

yeah, in his mind, the pro outweighed the cons.

with a strong kick, inui swiftly kicked beneath the handle of your door. as expected, it wasn’t the strongest thing, so it opened rather easily, even having the courtesy to stay on the hinges.

“(y/n)?” his voice rang throughout your apartment, feeling a bit on edge at how messy everything was.

had someone broken in and kidnapped you? did you get robbed and they ended up abducting you? what if-?

“what…the fuck.” inui’s jumbled thoughts cleared up the moment he heard your voice, (was it a bit more raspy than usual?). you had emerged from your bedroom, a blanket heaped over your shoulders as you blankly stared at him.

“(y/n)...” without much thinking, inui took a couple hasty steps forward and wrapped his arms around you, relief flooding through him. “do you have any idea how worried i’ve been? why didn’t you pick up any of my calls?” you sniffled a bit in his embrace, making him step back a bit to get a better look at you.

your eyes were rimmed red, and now that he was paying more attention, he realized that you were really warm. your hair was quite a mess, and despite the thick blanket that you were holding over your shoulders, you seemed to be shivering.

“well, that’s ‘cause my cell’s been dead and i haven’t charged it.” you jerked a thumb over at the living room couch, which your dead cell phone was laying on. “what’re you even doing here though? did you break the door?” your eyes wandered behind him, seeing your door wide open, looking back at inui as he froze a bit at the question.

“yeah…i’ll pay for a new one. is this why you haven’t been responding? because you’re sick?”

“i think you’re smart enough to answer that question yourself.” you mumbled, turning around and walking back to your bedroom. “now, if you’ll excuse me, ‘m gonna go back to sleep…” after taking another couple steps though, you felt yourself stumbling as your vision began to blur.

your wavering frame was steadied by two arms at your shoulders, quickly leading you to sit down on the edge of your bed. as your vision came back, you noticed inui kneeling in front of you, his brows pinched together with worry as he slipped his cool hand onto your forehead.

“you’ve had this high of a fever this whole time?”

“yep…” you could barely keep your eyes open at this point, your head bobbing up and down as you tried to stay awake.

“hm…just go back to sleep.”

“will do…” you mumbled, flopping back onto your bed and getting under your blankets.

inui looked down at you as you passed out almost immediately, feeling worried and a little bit betrayed. why hadn’t you called him? had you been taking care of yourself this whole time?

he settled onto the edge of your bed, carefully pushing some strands of hair out of your face. gently, he pulled some of your blanket up, tucking you in, the corners of his lips turning up as you buried yourself deeper in the blanket.

cute…

“...up…(y/n)...wake up…” you groaned at the subtle shaking of your body, turning over to try and go back to sleep. “(y/n)? just wake up for a few minutes and you can go back to sleep.” the smell of something good wafted through the air, which was enough to make you slowly open one eye, turning back over.

inui was above you, leaning over as he made sure you were awake. his blue eyes became a bit softer when you finally opened both of your own eyes, staying over you for a moment more than was necessary before leaning back. carefully, he handed you a small bowl of rice, a fried egg on top of it with some soy sauce, handing you a pair of chopsticks.

“you should eat if you want to get your strength back.” you dug in without another word; the most you had been surviving on in the past week was crackers and cheese, since that was the only thing you were able to eat without doing any sort of cooking.

however, your eating paused when you felt inui pushing some of your hair to the side, unpeeling a cold pack and carefully sticking it to your forehead. he was a little bit closer than he probably needed to be; you could see the flecks of green in his blue irises, his eyebrows still pinched together a little bit as he looked at you.

ba-dump!

now that you were a little bit more awake, you became quite conscious of how messy your hair was, and even more so noticing how sweaty and gross you were. your fingers ran through your hair, trying your best to take some of the tangles out as you looked to the side, embarrassment flooding through you. you hadn’t called anyone on purpose; you hadn’t exactly wanted anybody to see you like this.

“er, thanks…”

“...”

“...seishu…?” you questioned, feeling a bit awkward as he seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. he looked back at you from his seat on the edge of your bed, a somewhat faraway look in his eyes.

“hm?”

“uhm, are you alright…?” at your question, inui opened his mouth, then closed it again, seeming to be thinking about something. he mulled over it for a few more moments, the silence feeling just a tad awkward, before he started to speak again.

“i wish you had called me.” he said, a tone of hurt in his voice. “i was worried that something may have happened to you…and even if you’re just sick, i just…” inui paused, fiddling a bit with a piece of his hair as his ears turned a bit pink. “...i wish that you would rely on me more.” he sighed, his head pulling down a bit as he stared at the ground.

the straightforwardness of his words caught you wholly off guard; you had not been expecting that sort of response from him.

you felt some guilt flood through you at seeing his sadness, laying your chopsticks across your bowl as his words echoed through your head. you supposed that you probably should have just let him know that you were sick instead of trying to disappear for a week or two, since you probably would have also been worried if he had tried to pull a stunt like that.

“i’m sorry…i just didn’t want anybody to see me like this. i don’t exactly look the best right now, so-”

“you look good.”

“...” you stared at the boy seated next to you, trying to find any sort of lie in his eyes. instead, he just kept looking back at you with the most honesty in his eyes, a slight smile across his lips. “you’re a weirdo…” you murmured, feeling your heart skip a beat when you realized that he seemed to be serious with his words, (was your face feeling hot because of your fever?).

inui didn’t reply to your half-hearted words, instead taking the bowl from your hands and placing it on your bedside table.

“you should get some rest.” you stayed sitting up for a moment, your eyes tracing over all his fluid movements. his blue eyes suddenly flicked back to you, the eye contact finally breaking the trance you seemed to be in, making you immediately lay back down and cover the bottom half of your face with your blankets. despite the embarrassment you were suddenly feeling, there was also a giddy feeling you felt as you watched inui adjust your blankets, making sure that you were all covered up.

“are you going to leave?”

please say no.

“well, no…your door doesn’t close now, and i’m not going to leave you here to let just anybody walk in.”

“oh, right. forgot about that…” you giggled a bit at inui’s sheepish expression as he stood up, clearing off your bedside table and standing up.

“get better soon, (y/n).” there was a small smile on his face as he exited, gently closing your door behind him. when you were sure he was gone, you couldn’t help the euphoric smile that spread across your face, pulling your blankets a bit over your face.

did that really just happen!?

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itsreallylaterightnow · 4 years

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5 Facts Challenge

I was tagged for a 5 facts about me challenge by @romeoandjulietyouwish so here goes nothing! (Thanks for the tag!)

1. I hate construction cranes. Like. So much. Phobia-level much. They make me gag and I almost throw up when I see them. I have no clue why. I’ve never touched one, I’ve never been near one. But it is a real thing. (I also hate bridges but not as much as cranes).

2. I am very accident/injury/illness prone. (If you’ve read my “whump tips by an accident prone writer” posts then you know this already. I’ve broken my left wrist, and left pointer finger. I have my sprained both ankles and both wrists at different times. I had a high ankle sprain on my right ankle that took FOREVER to heal. I almost broke my back last year. I’ve had MULTIPLE black eyes. I popped my left knee out of socket and got a major hematoma on my left shin. I got a hematoma on my right shin at a different time and nerve damage as well (there’s a part of my right shin that I cannot feel). I have had surgery on my throat and right knee. I have horrible joints and am scheduling an appointment to see a jaw surgeon. I got Bell’s palsy last summer (thankfully it went away very quickly) and went to the ER in October for a sharp pain in my side that we never figured out. Sometimes my left arm goes numb for no reason. So, yeah. Accident/injury prone pretty much sums me up.

3. I’m a fast reader. Like EXTREMELY fast reader. I’ve read a 600 page book in one day. I read a 400 page book in 6 hours. Reading is my life. I own over 300 hundred books (someone stop me)

4. I ride/train/coach horses and riders. I have my own business. I’ve been riding horses my whole life and I just recently started lessons. I had to quit competei g halfway through NATRC (the competitions I do) season last year due to college, and when I quit my horse and I were 1st in the country I’m our division.

5. I am studying Criminal Justice currently and plan to take on to get my Master’s and then work for an agency :)

I tag: @scooter3scooter @seaweedbrain3000 @ladycavil @twentytonys

#sadieanswersherhomies

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battingonjakku · 5 years

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A guide to the 18 counties and why you should/shouldn’t support each one (version 2.0)

Hello! It’s been a couple of years since I did this original guide, so I thought it was time for an updated version as after all, a lot has happened since then.

All the confirmed overseas players I’ve found have been included, the most significant Kolpaks (not all though, because there are many), and the most recent England/Ireland/Scotland players as well…and then some just to look out for.

Without further ado then, here is a relatively comprehensive guide to choosing your county for the year ahead…

Derbyshire

Overseas & Kolpak: Logan van Beek, Kane Richardson (T20), Ravi Rampaul

England/Ireland/Scotland: Mark Watt

England prospects: Matt Critchley, Hamidullah Qadri

Why you should support them: Who doesn’t love an underdog? Quite a bit of young talent around, including in Hamidullah Qadri the first county cricketer born in the 21st century (welp)

Why you shouldn’t support them: They always seem to fly under the radar, and I still haven’t met a Derbyshire supporter (please reveal yourselves if you are out there!)

Durham

Overseas & Kolpak: Cameron Bancroft, D’Arcy Short (T20)

England/Ireland/Scotland: Ben Stokes, Mark Wood, Stuart Poynter

England prospects: Josh Coughlin, Matty Potts

Why you should support them: One of the leading producers of England players over the years, and who have suffered a lot at the hands of the ECB. Who doesn’t have a soft spot for Durham?

Why you shouldn’t support them: It’s been a tough few years due to off-field circumstances, and a lot of their top players have left in the process. Likely to struggle again.

Essex

Overseas & Kolpak: Peter Siddle, Adam Zampa (T20), Mohammad Amir (T20), Simon Harmer, Cameron Delport, Matt Quinn

England/Ireland/Scotland: Alastair Cook, Tom Westley, Ravi Bopara

England prospects: Jamie Porter, Daniel Lawrence, Nick Browne, Sam Cook

Why you should support them: The place to get your Alastair Cook fix post-England retirement. They’re also a lovely bunch of lads, and with their unexpected 2017 CC win have become one of the division’s leading teams.

Why you shouldn’t support them: Have a notable Kolpak contingent, and are just one of those teams for whom when things go wrong, it happens spectacularly.

Glamorgan

Overseas & Kolpak: Shaun Marsh, Marnus Labuschagne, Colin Ingram, Marchant de Lange

England/Ireland/Scotland: Ruaidhri Smith, Timm van der Gugten (well, Netherlands)

England prospects: Prem Sisodiya

Why you should support them: Flying the flag for Wales as the only county not based in England, and another underdog to root for as well. A decent pace bowling attack that should see them improve on last year.

Why you shouldn’t support them: Continually struggling, last year coming bottom of the County Championship and with no trophies in a long time.

Gloucestershire

Overseas & Kolpak: Michael Klinger (T20), Dan Worrall

England/Ireland/Scotland: Adrian Neill

England prospects: Ryan Higgins, Ben Charlesworth

Why you should support them: A team with an exceptional history in short-form cricket, and though they tend to be underdogs nowadays, can still prove themselves worth more than the sum of their parts.

Why you shouldn’t support them: Have tended to stay mid-table in Division Two over the past few years without making huge strides forward. Though known for limited overs success, form can be variable.

Hampshire

Overseas & Kolpak: Aiden Markram, Kyle Abbott, Fidel Edwards, Rilee Rossouw

England/Ireland/Scotland: Liam Dawson, Mason Crane, James Vince

England prospects: Sam Northeast, James Fuller, Aneurin Donald

Why you should support them: Often strong performers in the shortest forms, winning the one day cup last year and having been regulars at T20 finals day in the last decade.

Why you shouldn’t support them: Tend to scrape their Division One safety in the CC every year, so prepare for the stress. Also one of the counties people love to hate, thanks in part to high profile Kolpak signings and the attitude of their chairman.

Kent

Overseas & Kolpak: Matt Renshaw, Adam Milne (T20), Mohammed Nabi (T20), Heino Kuhn

England/Ireland/Scotland: Joe Denly, Sam Billings

England prospects: Daniel Bell-Drummond, Zak Crawley

Why you should support them: A steadily improving county in all formats, reaching the one day final and being promoted from the CC last year. Soon to be 43, the evergreen Darren Stevens is also worthy of a mention here too.

Why you shouldn’t support them: Another team with a notable Kolpak contingent in addition to those above. A team with little experience of the first division as well, so who will be facing a challenge.

Lancashire

Overseas & Kolpak: Joe Burns, Glenn Maxwell, James Faulkner (T20), Dane Vilas

England/Ireland/Scotland: James Anderson, Jos Buttler, Haseeb Hameed, Keaton Jennings, Liam Livingstone

England prospects: Saqib Mahmood, Alex Davies, Matthew Parkinson

Why you should support them: With a strong squad it would be a surprise not to see them promoted this year, especially with the bowling attack that managed to pick up the most bonus points last year. It also looks like they’ve final gotten rid of that god-awful green kit, too.

Why you shouldn’t support them: It’s Lancashire, what more is there to say? (I had to get a dig in here somewhere, didn’t I?)

Leicestershire:

Overseas & Kolpak: Mohammed Abbas, Colin Ackermann, Mark Cosgrove

England prospects: Will Davis

Why you should support them: Just lovely, and definitely improving as a team after many years at the bottom of the pack. Always developing young, talented players. The only ground I’ve been to where I’ve been offered a bag of Sweets Or Weed.

Why you shouldn’t support them: Well known for their top players leaving, and another big exodus took place at the end of the season. Supporting them can be painful, too.

Middlesex

Overseas & Kolpak: Mujeeb Ur Rahman (T20), AB de Villiers (T20), Ross Taylor

England/Ireland/Scotland: Eoin Morgan, Steven Finn, Toby Roland-Jones, Tim Murtagh, Paul Stirling, Sam Robson

England prospects: Nick Gubbins, Ethan Bamber, Tom Barber, Tom Helm, Max Holden

Why you should support them: A squad with a lot of English and Irish talent and hot prospects who will be striving for promotion this year. And there’s the Lord’s factor, because where better to watch cricket?

Why you shouldn’t support them: Have underperformed in the two years following their CC win, and it’s best not to even mention the shorter forms.

Northamptonshire

Overseas & Kolpak: Temba Bavuma, Faheem Ashraf (T20), Jason Holder, Blessing Muzarabani, Richard Levi

England/Ireland/Scotland: Kyle Coetzer

England prospects: Ben Curran

Why you should support them: A team without big resources who have become one of the more successful T20 teams in the country. Also, I love Temba Bavuma in general and just want that stated here.

Why you shouldn’t support them: That T20 success that made them famous went spectacularly downhill last year, finishing well adrift at the bottom of the group. Have lost important players since, too.

Nottinghamshire

Overseas & Kolpak: Dan Christian (T20), James Pattinson

England/Ireland/Scotland: Stuart Broad, Jake Ball, Alex Hales, Ben Duckett

England prospects: Joe Clarke, Zak Chappell, Matthew Carter, Tom Moores, Ben Slater

Why you should support them: A team with a lot of England talent from the past, present, and likely the future. Have strengthened their squad a lot over the winter and will be looking to challenge on all fronts.

Why you shouldn’t support them: Not too popular for buying a lot of their talent, particularly with their winter recruitment. Have also underperformed in the longer format despite a strong squad.

Somerset

Overseas & Kolpak: Azhar Ali, Jerome Taylor (T20)

England/Ireland/Scotland: Jack Leach, Dom Bess, Craig Overton, Josh Davey

England prospects: Jamie Overton, George Bartlett

Why you should support them: A well-liked county, by everyone really apart from the ECB. Also the home of Marcus Trescothick, making centuries into his forties, and probably the best place in the country for spin bowling.

Why you shouldn’t support them: It always ends in pain, doesn’t it? A great track record for finishing high among the runners up, but not getting over the line, which has also returned among the last couple of seasons.

Surrey

Overseas & Kolpak: Aaron Finch, Dean Elgar, Morne Morkel

England/Ireland/Scotland: Sam Curran, Tom Curran, Ollie Pope, Rory Burns, Liam Plunkett, Ben Foakes, Jason Roy, Mark Stoneman

England prospects: Amar Virdi, Will Jacks, Conor McKerr

Why you should support them: England players a plenty, with many coming through the academy system at the moment. The reigning champions of the CC and the favourites to win again, and should compete in the other formats.

Why you shouldn’t support them: One of the definitive love-to-hate counties among the 18, and another who like Notts are regularly called out on their spending.

Sussex

Overseas & Kolpak: Rashid Khan (T20), Mir Hamza, David Wiese, Stiaan van Zyl

England/Ireland/Scotland: Chris Jordan, Tymal Mills

England prospects: Jofra Archer, George Garton, Delray Rawlins

Why you should support them: An up-and-coming team, coached by the wonderful Jason Gillespie. Particularly exciting fast-bowling stocks, and last year’s T20 runners up who will want to go one better. Also, Luke Wright.

Why you shouldn’t support them: For whatever reason, they tend to be bad at 50 over cricket, so probably not the team to root for if you’re after that Lord’s final.

Warwickshire

Overseas & Kolpak: Jeetan Patel, Ashton Agar (T20)

England/Ireland/Scotland: Chris Woakes, Olly Stone, Ian Bell

England prospects: Will Rhodes, Ed Pollock, Sam Hain, Henry Brookes, Dom Sibley

Why you should support them: A likeable team, as they would be with Chris Woakes and Ian Bell. After a few years with an aging squad, now have quite a few young players who have either come through or been given a second chance from elsewhere.

Why you shouldn’t support them: Though they’ve bounced straight back from division two, they really crashed out during their relegation season so their return to the top flight might be a learning curve.

Worcestershire

Overseas & Kolpak: Callum Ferguson, Martin Guptil (T20), Wayne Parnell

England/Ireland/Scotland: Moeen Ali

England prospects: Pat Brown, Josh Tongue, Dillon Pennington

Why you should support them: A team with a lot of strong homegrown young talent, who won the nation’s hearts on their way to their T20 Blast win in 2018. Led by Moeen Ali, and if you don’t appreciate them for that then what’s up with you mate?

Why you shouldn’t support them: The ultimate yo-yo team, constantly being promoted or relegated whilst rarely staying in one place, so not one to support if you don’t want the sadness every other year.

Yorkshire

Overseas & Kolpak: Duanne Olivier

England/Ireland/Scotland: Joe Root, Jonny Bairstow, Adil Rashid, David Willey, Gary Ballance

England prospects: Ben Coad, Matthew Fisher, Tom Kohler-Cadmore, Harry Brook

Why you should support them: They’re my team and I would die for them, the best team you can support. In seriousness though, they feature a lot of England players from past and present and tend to challenge across all competitions in some degree. Look strongest in the shorter forms.

Why you shouldn’t support them: Another love-to-hate county, as us Yorkshire fans do tend to go on about our successes. It has been a tricky couple of years as well, with a struggling batting line-up and no major reinforcements on that front.

#right i should have all the overseas listed #though as i was writing it middlesex signed ross taylor #so who knows #i haven't listed *all* the kolpaks as it would be a lot #and i'll have missed some ireland/scotland players as to knowledge #I just didn't want player lists to get too long when they're already quite long in places #but yeah #and state your case as well if you wish!#cricket #county cricket

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traitor-boyfriend · 6 years

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why do you think kyman is so popular? (ew)

okay so this has been sitting in my inbox for about a week or so now and i really just need to answer it and get it over with. really i think this is the most i’m ever going to say at length about kyman so here we go. also i’ve been drinking a little so i apologize in advance if my thoughts aren’t as cohesive as they could be lmao

to answer the initial question, i honestly have no idea. i have a few theories, but no real concrete answer as to why kyman as a ship is so popular; i’m speaking as someone who has had an intimate awareness of this fandom from the time i was ten, which is literally half of my life. i can’t recall kyman being a big ship, or even one of the more common rare-pairs 10 years ago – back then the major ships were style, creek, and k2 (almost pretty much in that order).

kyman, as i know it and have observed it since i’ve re-familiarized myself with the show and its fandom, is more a development that’s largely happened within the past five years and i think the main contributor to this is that, within that same time period, there’s been a noticeable shift with how kyle and cartman’s dynamic has been written; in the beginning seasons, kyle and cartman are shown to equally despise each other. the cartman of seasons 1-4 isn’t exactly the cartman we know now – he started off as kind of a stereotypical fat little neighborhood bully, but he’s always been narcissistic, racist, selfish etc. just not to the same extent he is now. and back then, kyle and cartman interact as enemies would; they argue and fight constantly, openly express their disdain for each other to anyone who will listen, and actively conspire against the other. kyle and cartman were direct foils to each other.

this has changed in the recent past. cartman and kyle aren’t really considered enemies anymore, but instead as rivals which i think is an important thing to note. now, they’re even occasionally on the same side of a conflict or event (such as tfbw). there has been a lot of focus in the past five or six seasons in the ways kyle and cartman are similar; they’re both temperamental and very angry people, incredibly competitive, both very driven and committed when they set their mind to something. kyle, to a lesser degree, also shares one of cartman’s worst traits; they’re both over-reactive and allow themselves to think the world is out to get them. obviously – and i cannot stress this enough – kyle has in no way the victim complex cartman has, but it is there nonetheless. the running theme with season 21 has been self-victimization, and while i don’t entirely agree with their idea that the potential destructive effects of habitual othering and alienation is, like, a concept of personal responsibility or individual desire to be a victim, other than heidi, kyle is a great example of this. for the last three seasons kyle has been the whipping boy in that no one wants his speeches, no one wants his moral lesson; no one wants his opinion. and kyle indirectly and without meaning to spearheads canada being bombed because he allows his emotions to dictate his action. there’s too many instances of cartman doing this exact thing with obvious malicious intent, but “the list” is another notable episode where kyle does the same thing; he feels slighted and estranged when everyone thinks he’s ugly, and instead of listening to reason from either stan or abraham lincoln, he decides the best choice of action is to burn down the school. my point is, kyle and cartman share quite a few personality traits and their interactions in recent seasons tend to highlight and expand on this rather than to treat them as divisive, opposite characters.

they’ve done a lot more as well to show that kyle, unlike his very early characterization in-series where he couldn’t give less of a shit if cartman died, now cares for him on – at the very least– a humanistic level. whereas kenny and stan are still mostly indifferent to cartman and what happens to him, kyle now often objects to directly conspiring to hurt or let cartman put himself in danger, even if he still despises him as a person. this started around season 8 or so with “up the down steroid” and i think this quote from kyle when he goes to cartman’s house best sums up what i’m talking about:

“I know that I often have serious moral objections to the things that you do, but… this time I think you really need to reconsider. Because if you do this, I believe you will go to hell. So I feel it is my responsibility, as your friend, to tell people what you’re doing, and to put a stop to it.”

kyle’s constant drive to put a stop to cartman’s increasingly deranged and morally depraved antics are largely driven by a dedication to his ethics, yes, but this also shows that kyle does consider cartman a friend and objects to his behavior as such because he cares about what happens to him despite kyle routinely being repulsed and disgusted by who cartman is. he also is the only one to initially object to destroying cartman’s stuff in season 20, even though kyle is cartman’s most vocal and frequent critic, and is also shown to feel an inordinate amount of guilt than the other boys comparatively; this is a combination of kyle’s generally guilty personality as well as remorse for having done something to hurt a friend. there’s also the jewpacabra episode where, even after being pathologically belittled again for the millionth time on the basis of his being jewish by cartman, kyle still goes out in the middle of the night to unchain cartman, take him home, and put him in his bed. i worry this is beginning to sound like rationalization or even evidence on the kyman ship’s behalf that kyle has feelings for cartman in anyway, because it isn’t; it’s just elaboration on kyle’s character. kyle is a very sympathetic person, and that extends even to someone who he doesn’t like. there are plenty of examples of kyle being absolutely thrilled to see cartman be delivered a comeuppance or get the shit kicked out of him or be proven wrong, and more often than not, kyle genuinely hates cartman – there just are not as many recent examples, which is the time-frame i’m trying to stick to while talking about this ship.

there’s a lot to be said of cartman as a character. like, a lot. he’s incredibly complex, and while it makes him interesting as a character study, it makes him insufferable to watch. he’s always been terrible. that’s his appeal, i think, and what makes him so popular. cartman is the complete and utter embodiment of human id; he has no sense of the world outside himself, no remorse, and acts consistently in his own self-interest with little to deter him. and part of it is satisfying sometimes to see just how far cartman is willing to denigrate himself and others in pursuit of what he wants, because it’s that same morbid desire a normal person might occasionally feel but suppresses because of their conscience – something cartman does not have.

i’d argue, given the inherent chaos and destruction and amorality the universe of south park exists in, that all of the main boys are traumatized to varying degrees. but i don’t think it’s all that controversial to say cartman exhibits the most outward signs of childhood trauma. plenty of people much more observant and intelligent than myself i’m sure have written about this before so i’m going to keep it brief, but a lot of cartman’s behavior can be explained this way. there’s been a few allusions to his having been sexually abused, inappropriate sexual contact with family members, the fact that he wets his bed or cries at night b/c he doesn’t have a dad are all things we learn when he can’t control what he says in “le petit tourette.” his physical and verbal aggression, emotionality, distrust of others, conniving behavior etc. are all common symptoms of adverse childhood experiences. he’s controlling and insecure, and cartman thrives off any and all attention – positive, which he often gets from his mother, or negative, which is usually provided by literally everyone else, especially kyle, which is what i think makes him so infatuated with kyle in that he’s an easy, reliable source to match his own aggression, to feed that desire for attention. unlike what a lot of kyman shippers think, it’s pretty obvious that this is why he goes to such lengths to save kyle in “smug alert”. butters doesn’t fight or push back against cartman the way he does, therefore cartman isn’t receiving the attention or reaction he wants.

there’s also the matter of cartman’s racism and anti-semitism. and to deny that cartman does not possess genuine confidence in his own deluded beliefs, or to excuse it b/c of his age is a major cop-out. he’s had moments where his racial hatred is founded in classic white-supremacist talking points, so he clearly espouses this shit of his own volition. because he’s attracted to power cartman idolizes conservative christian figureheads in pop culture (mel gibson ring a bell to anyone) and authoritarian dictators, of which racism is often a major component of such ideology, and this only emboldens his bigotry. there’s a couple instances in the very early seasons (i’m talking, like, pretty much exclusively 1 and 2) where cartman alludes to his racist tendencies stemming from liane, but i don’t really consider it fair to cling to that as a canonical source b/c one, it’s almost always for shock value as a quick joke, and two, they have since done a complete 180 on liane. they don’t harp on the joke about her being a whore the way they used to, and instead she’s shown to be a single mother who works two jobs and who loves her son unconditionally. but she’s also very lonely, and treats cartman as her friend instead of her son; she has no boundaries set with him and often entertains his schemes or delusions; she’s a classic over-indulging parent. which does a lot of harm without her meaning to.

honestly, the entire relationship between cartman and his mother mostly just makes me sad, especially after the “tsst” episode; it’s the only time we see liane disciplining cartman in a firm but loving way, acting as a parent and not a hostage, and we see, in my opinion, what was the only instance wherein which cartman was capable of any meaningful or permanent change. and it’s all destroyed when liane realizes cesar and her’s relationship was purely professional and nothing more. even in group of moms, liane isn’t really considered one of them. her only friend is cartman, so she defaults to giving in to his every whim b/c she’s terrified of him resenting and leaving her as well. it’s like.. a really tragic situation. but that episode is important as it exemplifies the fact that, unlike the other boys, cartman incapable of change. his transformation is mostly superficial and incredibly short-lived. there’s a lot to be said of the nature of evil – whether some people are born that way, if it’s entirely nature vs. nurture – but cartman is obviously a combination of both; no one who doesn’t have some kind of genetic pre-dispostion to incalculable levels of cruelty and disregard for the suffering of others could plot to have someone’s parents killed, steal their bodies, grind them into chili and feed it to the child of those parents over sixteen dollars.

and this is what makes the cognitive dissonance that surrounds thinking kyman isn’t an abusive ship is astounding to me, because cartman is an inherently abusive person. he is incapable of the vulnerability or the selflessness or the compromise a relationship requires. i mean, christ, we just got an entire season that highlights how he acts within the confines of a romantic relationship with heidi – an entire season of cartman manipulating, gaslighting, and machinating events to have someone he supposedly loves killed or abducted. there’s an argument made pretty often among kyman fans that this wouldn’t happen to kyle, that kyle is capable of fighting back against cartman and would refuse to make himself vulnerable the way heidi did, but i have no idea how someone could says this after “ginger cow.”

kyle is by far the most frequent recipient of the proverbial short stick (passion of the jew, le petit tourette, tonsil trouble, pee, humancentipad, imaginationland, cartman’s incredible gift, etc b/c the list goes on and fucking on) and though cartman is not always the one directly spearheading the events that lead to kyle being put in those situations, he usually is. but the way he treats kyle in ginger cow differs so greatly from past events – a lot of cartman’s mistreatment of kyle can be viewed as him feeling he’s delivering punishment or retribution to a someone who he feels (wrongly) deserves it, but “ginger cow” just really epitomizes cartman’s complete and utter sociopathy. what he does to kyle in that episode is so far beyond mere humiliation; it’s dehumanization. cartman actively derives joy from breaking kyle down as a person, forcing him to be submissive, causing kyle to lose any sense of self. the kicker comes at the end of the episodes when stan’s misguided attempt to help ends up backfiring, but not really, because the prophecy of the red heifer had actually been true all along! yet cartman refuses to tell the truth; kyle’s suffering means nothing. and cartman, in true cartman fashion, makes a snide joke, farts into his hand, dollops whip cream in his palm and smears it in kyle’s face, walking off very satisfied with himself. even thinking about the episode makes me viscerally ill.

i think just as troubling for me is the culture that surrounds people shipping the two of them; there is so, so, so much casual anti-semitism – people who think it’s cute when cartman accosts kyle for being jewish, people who use the word “jew” in a flippant, casual way as if it’s a term of endearment while completely ignoring the historical context of disparagement in a non-jewish person calling someone “a jew.” people who excuse cartman’s anti-semitism, who act like he hasn’t repeatedly been shown to adore hitler and emulate him, going as far as to rally the town behind him to lead in the effort to exterminate the jews and shouting nazi rallying cries. not to mention the fact that not only does there exist any one singular kyman fic centered around kyle being a holocaust victim during world war ii, there are a ton! which is so disgusting and disrespectful and so obviously amoral i can’t believe i just had to type that! and in the same line as fiction, it is so upsetting to me a prominent trend that occurs w kyman fics is cartman basically hatefucking kyle through the entire thing, physically and verbally abuses him and gets off on it, and kyle is this submissive, simpering slave to him – not to mention the plethora of straight up rape/non-con kyman fics. it a lot of either that, or kyle is some conduit for a shitty cartman redemption arc, and. ugh.

anyway, this is the most i’m ever going to say about kyman. the tl;dr version of this is that i think kyman is so popular b/c recent seasons have focused more on amplifying the ways in which kyle and cartman are similar as well as quite a few jokes being made about some weird sexual tension between the two of them. and not to harp on this, but i don’t ship kyman, and i don’t support it or even remotely tolerate it, really. the entire concept of those two together makes me quite literally physically ill lmao.

#i have no idea what to tag this as tbh #south park #kyle broflovski #eric cartman #little tip: if you're a diehard kyman shipper about to come in my inbox let me save you the trouble: don't!#:-)#anonymous

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thegoodleague · 4 years

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onthebridle · 4 years

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2020 Poule d’Essai Des Poulains Preview

It’s been a while. A long while. But we are back and giving it another go!

A tumultuous year off the piste has gifted us a titanic tussle on it. When all was rosy in the Racing garden, the French Government scythed down the ParisLongchamp plan for the Poulains. Fear not as the affable, enigmatic and folically gifted Olivier Delloye cleared the table and pivoted to a charming corner of Normandy!

A straight mile for a Guineas? Wonderful idea! No UK or Irish based horses? Wonderful-(ish) idea! Not that they’ve won many recently anyway. No crowd? Well that’s pretty grim but rules are rules.

Onto the runners!

VICTOR LUDORUM

Shamardal this, Shamardal that. Shamardal for you and Shamardal for you too! Victor Ludorum (a Shamardal colt) was an immovable object from the Winners Enclosure throughout his 2yo career. ParisLongchamp was his particular playground of choice, breaking his maiden there by 3.5L (that could have been a lot more) and having his finest hour in the G1 Jean Luc Lagardere beating Group winners Alson, Armory and Ecrivain of whom we will encounter next.

Posters were up, the word was out. Victor was back. May 11th, ParisLonghcamp - tune your TV and watch the Prince on his pathway to his crowning.

Drawn on the Phillipe Chatrier court at Roland Garros and given his relaxed style of exiting the stalls it was not a shock to see him mid division and holding his own just off The Summit. The shock however came at the long sweeping bend at ~600-800m. Victor pulled the arms out of Mickael Barzalona’s sockets. Previously keen at this point in the Lagardere it was much more pronounced but he settled somewhat entering the straight. It would have been quite the effort to peg back The Summit who had set off with a wet sail and he was nursed home by Barza for 3rd. The crowning has been furloughed.

Undoubtedly below his best and suffering from ‘Fabre-itis’ that punished the Petit General’s yard in the opening week, an upgrade will almost be demanded from him and an upgrade he will likely give us. Barza was quoted as saying, “I’m not worried about what happens next” - so why should we be?!

ECRIVAIN

We’re blessed with 5 senses; sight, smell, touch, taste and hearing. The brothers Wertheimer know a few of these closely, nay, intimately and on a grander scale than most can imagine. Smell, the fine scent of their grandfathers Chanel No5. Taste, the vintage rouge of their Margaux & Saint-Emilion vineyards. Touch, their (ahem) tasteful swimwear and lingerie collection. Sight, the hands ticking on their Bell & Ross chronometers. The remaining sense is hearing. Hearing their name announced as the winner of the Poulains has been absent since Falco in 2008. A period too long for winners like the Wertheimers. Entraineur Carlos Laffon-Parias knows all of this well. Victory in 2008 belonged to him also. Much like their Margaux, it was a vintage year for the Poulains. Rio De La Plata simply could not get near him.

Ecrivain is his latest project. 2/2 to start his career, including a G3 on just his second run, he finished 4th in the Lagardere whilst both catching the eye and frustrating his patrons at the same time. For his comeback in the Fontainebleau, look to the previous sentence and multiply. Simon Rowlands’ Sectionals show he should have finished closer and he probably would have had he not taken the sceneic route through the Bois Du Boulogne. It was one you sensed that Maxime Guyon would want back.

He isn’t shy to the front of the field, often sitting in the passenger seat beside the pack driver so look for him to be on the scene again at Deauville. The orders from CLP were to “Wait, Finish and Not Hit” - one would imagine Max will hear different ones next time.

THE SUMMIT

Expecting Alson? Sorry not sorry.

Henri Alex Pantall trains the son of Wootton Bassett for Jacques Cygler at his staggeringly beautiful yard in Beaupreau around 400km west of Chantilly. The name Jacques Cygler may be memorable to you thanks to his wondermare export Sistercharlie.

The Summit does not have the sexy row of 1′s you get visiting the Victor Ludorum page or the 100,000€ fee you have to pay for a dance with Lope De Vega to produce Ecrivain but he has run, and run, and run. Up and down the distance ladder from 1300m to 1800m and another rung up to 2000m it seems the Cygler/Pantall equipe decided that the perfect spot is 1600m.

A win on his debut over the distance at Lyon Parilly and a second in a true slug fest at Saint-Cloud on poor ground he would never die wondering. Flash out the gate and prominent throughout is the method to which he lives by. This would prove to be a perfect tactic when teamed up with crack rider PC Boudot in the Fontainebleau. Yep you guessed it, the gates were open and he was gone. Out and away he played the field in a way Ivan Hajek would have been impressed with. Relaxed around the bends when others floundered, nose forward and ears back he sauntered to the 400m pole and found himself a length clear. That length then became three at the 200m pole and PC gave him a polite tap whilst observing those behind before giving it the full betting shop punter fist pump.

Pantall made it known he had grown and “thickened” over the winter. Another duet with PC Boudot has not materialised unfortunately but fear not, Olivier Peslier has been legged up and he isn’t shy of the Winners Enclosure. A victory here would complete the Poulains/Pouliches set for Alex Pantall and in consecutive years too. A summit thoroughly achievable.

THE OTHERS

Contenders, are you rrrrready?!

Alson - The first of Andre Fabre’s two other contestants, he was 2nd in the Lagardere sandwich under Frankie Dettori before going on to on to win a farce of a G1 Criterium International at ParisLongchamp beating Armory. This will be his first run under the Masters tutelage but without a prep run and the original aim of Newmarket, could this be a stepping stone to something like the St James’s Palace Stakes at the (not so Royal) Royal Ascot? Hard to trust.

Arapaho - It wouldn’t be a Classic without the navy of Mrs Sue Magnier now would it?! Andre Fabre’s third dart at the board was given a slight headache over 1400m by Mageva but he was plenty worth his win and has one of the most wonderful actions. Untested at the distance and uncertainty around his rider makes me uneasy on his chances. It would be a special day for his breeder; Mme Elisabeth Fabre. The choice of PCB, the interest has already rocketed and his price shortened.

Celestin - Twice a winner for Fabrice Chappet including a romp of a Listed win at Toulouse on foul ground he was competent in his return at Chantilly behind Reshabar for the local owner/breeders Normandie Pur Sang. It would be the sweetest of wins for them but a shock result.

Kenway - An admirable foe if ever there was one. Frederic Rossi’s charge has put his gloves on, mouthguard in and gone through the ropes with all of the big hitters listed above. A particular distaste for The Summit would be permitted given his 5th in the Saint-Cloud slugfest and the 4th in the Prix Fontainebleau. You won’t miss him - coming late with his head in the air and thick milky noseband pressing through. A place option at best.

Reshabar - Far from a penalty kick for Markus Munch it would symbolise a rapid rise for the son of Ifraaj who defied 59/1 odds to break his maiden in a Class 1 race at Chantilly. On the day he was quite brilliant from the front but the same strategy this time will undoubtedly come with company. Field’s rag.

Shinning Ocean (Supp) - The Prix D’Escoville winner was parachuted into the race by owner/breeders Normandie Pur Sang for a tidy sum. His performance at ParisLongchamp was a mirror to The Summit with Soumillon tugging the field along at a sedate pace initially. Coming down the hill at ~650m, the Belgian decided to find 3rd gear to go a length clear. The revs at 1000m had subsided again and the paced dropped as he was joined by Warzuzu. A slap round the chops at 1200m and he was gone. Two became four and peaked at five lengths clear before the cigar and slippers were out. Soumi is back for more and he has a score to settle with Ecrivain and is a very interesting runner for Christophe Ferland who is chasing his first Poulains!

THE VERDICT

Point 1: Pace will not be an issue. The Summit, Reshabar and Shinning Ocean aren’t ones for hanging around. Mix in the potential pacemaker angle of Alson and it’s a bit of a free for all that could get out of hand. In the passenger seat you’ll have Victor and Ecrivain with possibly The Summit joining them too should the pace dial needle push towards breakneck.

Point 2: Draw. Draw. Draw. The previous Poulains run at Deauville saw Brametot win from Stall 3 and The Gurkha from Stall 11. Helpful. Given the reduced number of horses we could see them all go to the middle or to the stand side rail or split into two groups. Given the temper of some runners and a wide track at Deauville you don’t want to be drawn next a basketcase but you wouldn’t mind a bit of pace either.

Point 3: Jockeys. Victor - check. Ecrivain - check. Kenway - check. Reshabar - check. The surprise came when Pierre Charles chose Arapaho over his Prix Fontainbleau companion The Summit who will now have the ever consistent, ever classy and evergreen Olivier Peslier on top. Alson is a gift for Cheminaud so the tactics on him still mystify.

All of these in mind I will unashamedly be sticking with VICTOR LUDORUM. Visually superb in the Lagardere and undercooked for his return expect a reinvigorated version and with the Petit General’s form turned up to 11 he is the one for me. It is difficult to see outside of the other major contenders filling the places and of the two I would count The Summit as his biggest challenger.

A Shamardal for France and maybe a Shamardal for England too?!

A final note - it was a real shame to lose Helter Skelter before this race as he would also have been a worthy adversary to those mentioned in the article.

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marvelandponder · 7 years

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In the Shipping Biz, We’d Call This a Crack Ship

Well now, isn’t this adorable? Two characters who, before now, haven’t had screen time together get to share an adorable nose-boop (which in kids show terms is third base). And yet my mane 9 ships sit on the shelf. There really is no justice.

So, I’m a bit behind on episode reviews thanks to midterms and finals, but with a few days before the season comes back on air, I at least have a chance to catch my breath.

Which would be a good time for a breath of fresh air.

And I wouldn’t quite go that far with this episode, but I still find it fascinating in its own way.

For me, the episode itself isn’t as memorable as I think it could be, and with both Big Mac and the CMC participating in a romance plot it’s hard not to draw comparisons to Hearts and Hooves Day, but there are a number of entertaining elements in there that make it a decently good episode.

That said, as someone whose held discussions about shipping and canonizing ships before, the subject of romance in Friendship is Magic is one I find myself coming back to a lot (like I did for Pride month).

Because friendship is and rightly should be the main focus of the show, romance is relegated to either married couples, or weirdly enough, the boy characters.

... Yeah, no, not kidding.

Apart from Rarity’s two fleeting crushes (and not counting the EQG movies), Spike and Big Mac are the two characters most frequently and profoundly affected by romance plots. I think there’s a bit of role reversal, in a way: The two most prominent boy characters are the ones who either have an ongoing crush that lasts multiple seasons, or get involved with different romantic interests at different times.

But, anyway, no matter the character, in episodes dealing with romance, the plot is structured in such a way that a friendship lesson can be learned. I think that’s why this and Hearts and Hooves Day ended up having so much in common: Big Mac is both minor enough to not require multiple episodes per season, but major enough for a romantic development to have some significance.

And of the characters who are close to him, the CMC do seem like a good choice to learn the lesson about fairytale romances being vastly different from reality.

I’d actually argue Spike might’ve been an even better choice than those three (what with his ongoing crush and all), but since Sweetie Belle is the best choice of all and you couldn’t have her going by herself, boom, the crusaders as a whole unit.

There’s just enough to differentiate this from Hearts and Hooves Day, but I definitely wouldn’t want a pattern of episodes that are this similar to past episodes emerging. Tread lightly, writers.

So, yeah, apart from Equestria Girls, this is the first ongoing relationship to be started with a Mane Cast member, and I’ll be interested to see where they take it from here!

Will we see their relationship take center stage in an episode going forward? Or, maybe just a few moments sprinkled throughout episodes showing us that their relationship is developing in the background?

Either way, definitely neat to incorporate a romance that isn’t pre-determined to end with marriage.

But, anyway, let’s talk more about the episode itself!

One aspect in particular that seems to be a lot more divisive than I expected was this little shit:

Hellooo, Vincent “Waifu Stealer” Tong (for real, though, he’s honestly such a great voice actor, I’m glad to have him back any time)

Now on the the one hand, I can understand the sheer loathing this bugger produces. I survived the days when Justin Beiber was a popular young tween on the road to super-stardom despite many eardrums screaming no.

But then again, I survived the days of Justin Beiber. I’ve earned this parody. Plus, being born in the late 90s, I grew up in the early 2000s, which is a time I lovingly refer to as 90s backwash.

Oh sure, the 2000s had their own emerging... “Style” (she said, as if she doesn’t still enjoy it unironically on occasion), but the days of manufactured boyband pop groups with frosted tips and a deep love for their gurls was still clinging on, to the point that there was a lot of parodies, loving or otherwise. Those parodies are what I lived off of.

For those of you who grew up with Fairly Odd Parents, Chip Skylark. Any of you Simpsons fans might remember an episode with the Party Posse, a boyband composed solely of 4th graders with the dubbed voices of dreamy teenage boys.

Even just recently Gravity Falls featured a boyband called Sev’ral Times, and Star Vs. The Forces of Evil has Love Sentence.

So I guess what I’m saying is, there’s a special place in my heart for boyband or girl group parodies, and Feather Bangs (god, what a name) is no different.

I can get the malice, but I enjoyed him way too much.

And they even made him a likable character in the end. Who knew cloned boyband pop sensations could be socially anxious? Good twist on an already funny character.

As to the moral, I really enjoyed it. It’s the perfect thing for the target demographic to learn because they’re the ones currently being surrounded by all those fairytales Sweetie Belle was reading.

Plus, no matter what you’re age, I think you can appreciate the sentiment that the constant onslaught of perfect, storybook romances in media doesn’t translate to reality---and not even in a pessimistic way. I’ve seen shows that take that moral to sad, but real places, as in, even if you try it can be near impossible to get it right with someone.

While a dose of realism has it’s place, I also like what FIM has to say about it. That fairy tale romances are unrealistic, but real romances are about caring for another person in the way they want and need to be cared for, and in the end that’s something just as magical.

It’s just... real nice.

Also, D’AAAAAAWW.

Sorry, had to get that out of my system.

Details, Thoughts, and Whatnot

It’s the little things that make me smile.

The line delivery on “A spy pirate. A spyrate” sums up my sense of humour

I love that you can go back and see Sweetie Belle reading the book of fairy tales on the trip

I think this is a rather nice way to give us more ways to develop the ponies of Our Town/Starlight’s Village, if we so choose to revisit this place; nice that these characters can have connections to the outside world now

The CMCs continue to be adorable children. Just, like, the urgency in Applebloom’s voice when she says “Ya gotta tell her!” as she’s, like, shaking her big bro and being all supportive... these three are precious

When Big Mac goes for the kiss while Sugar Belle’s sleeping, I’m just sitting here like

youtube

The duet is a lot of fun! I wouldn’t say it’s one of the classic MLP songs, but it’s a delightful sequence, and gives the animators a chance to throw in some more inventive and colourful imagery in an episode that’s largely set in a drab desert town

Oh! And it looks like Sugar Belle isn’t the only one hooking up with someone. Night Glider and Party Favour, huh? As someone who can ship pretty much anything it comes as no surprise, but like, I can ship it

I like the shelf thing. Sure, you could see it coming, but it illustrates the moral really well, so what the hell: when it’s cute, it’s cute.

And I think that’s a good phrase to sum up this episode. It’s not a true standout, but it’s got a few charms here and there to make it a worthwhile episode. another good entry in the season.

It’s good to be back. But hey, I’ve done other stuff before! Here’s the link to my reviews, my editorials, and hell, here’s the last three things I’ve done, to make it even easier for you:

LGBT+ Editorial, Trailer Analysis, and Comic Con Coverage

Year of the Pony

Special Thanks to Millennial Dan on Deviantart, who made the Microphone vector for the logo!

Huh. Big Mac Really Does Get All the Mares

#year of the pony #yearofthepony #mlp #my little pony #friendship is magic #mlp:fim #mlp: fim #big macintosh #sugar belle #sweetie belle #applebloom #scootaloo #the cutie mark crusaders #the cmc #animation #mlp reviews #reviews #episode review #cartoons

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libertariantaoist · 7 years

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Oh, the irony! Amid all the accusations of foreign interference in the election, the first solid indication of it showed up with the publication of a slanderous unsourced memo written by a “former” British intelligence agent accusing Donald Trump of various “perversions” and claiming he’s vulnerable to blackmail by those evil Russkies. The “ex”-MI6 agent, one Christopher Steele – how’s that for a name straight out of a James Bond novel? – works for “Orbis Business Intelligence, Ltd.,” a high-toned Londo-based “private” spook agency usually hired by big corporations out to spy on their competitors or those pesky environmentalists.

According to press reports, Steele worked undercover in Russia for several years, cultivating a wide network of contacts who, today, regularly feed him information. It was through these contacts that he concocted a series of memos first reported by CNN and later published by BuzzFeed, the product of rumor, gossip, and innuendo – in short, the stuff “raw” intelligence is made of.

News accounts also report that it was Fusion GPS, a Democratic “research” firm, that got the initial contract, and was paid by the Republican wing of the “Never Trump” movement. After Trump won the Republican nomination, the ball was passed to the Democrats, who picked up the bill. Oh, but it didn’t end with Trump’s victory at the polls: Steele and Fusion GPS head honcho Glenn Simpson soldiered on: “By then,” the New York Times reports, “the election was over, and neither Mr. Steele nor Mr. Simpson was being paid by a client, but they did not stop what they believed to be very important work.”

Yes, out of the goodness of their hearts – patriotic duty, dedication to the victory of the West over the Evil Putinite Threat, and good old-fashioned stick-to-it-tiveness – the Dauntless Duo pursued their quarry through thick and thin, and they did it all for free, casting aside any thought of reward and abjuring the huge sums they are usually paid for such work.

We interrupt this fantasy to bring you an important announcement: it didn’t happen that way.

To begin with, anyone who thinks Orbis is a “private” intelligence agency, totally separate from MI6, the legendary British intelligence service, is delusional. These agencies – there are several, including the notorious Halykut, which recently surfaced in China – are simply extensions of the parent organization, MI6, which is, itself, intertwined with similar spook outfits in the US and throughout Europe. It’s an international fraternity, one that shares information, contacts, and a common worldview – and this last is what brings it into conflict with the President-elect.

When Trump began talking about how “obsolete” NATO is, their alarm bells began to go off. The alliance is the bedrock of the international security apparatus that nurtures and rewards this crowd, and the anchor of the expansionist agenda that envisions Ukraine and Georgia as the next entrants in the anti-Russian grand coalition. Those alarm bells started screaming when Trump took up with Nigel Farage, the UKIP leader and spokesman for the rising nationalist anti-EU movement: the Brexit campaign dealt the internationalists a near mortal blow, and the Trump-Farage hook-up drove them up the wall. Like Trump, Farage is “pro-Russian,” i.e. he opposes the drive to war against Moscow, and the double victory of Trump-Brexit has the NATO-crats in a panic. Something had to be done.…

A piece by Paul Wood, who reports on Syria for the BBC, in the British Spectator, gives us more pieces in this international puzzle:

“[Steele], apparently, gave his dossier to the FBI against the firm’s advice. And the former MI6 agent is not the only source for the claim about Russian kompromat on the President-elect. Back in August, a retired spy told me he had been informed of its existence by ‘the head of an East European intelligence agency.’”

Another account has Sen. John McCain receiving the report from a “former British ambassador,” who then hands it off to the FBI. In any case, Wood goes on to detail his relationship with “active duty CIA officers” who basically told him there was “more than one tape,” made on more than one occasion, “of a sexual nature.” The memo, they told him, was “credible,” which is why “these claims ended up on President Obama’s desk last week, a briefing document was also given to congressional leaders and to Trump himself.” The Trump campaign, by the way, denies getting any such document.

Wood continues:

“Last April, the CIA director was shown intelligence that worried him. It was – allegedly – a tape recording of a conversation about money from the Kremlin going into the US presidential campaign. It was passed to the US by one of the Baltic States’ intelligence agencies. The CIA cannot act domestically against American citizens so a joint counter intelligence task force was created. It included six agencies or departments of government: dealing with the domestic, US, side of the inquiry, were the FBI, the Department of the Treasury, and the Department of Justice; for the foreign and intelligence aspects of the investigation, there were three agencies: the CIA, the Office of the Director on National Intelligence, and the NSA, the National Security Agency, responsible for electronic spying. Lawyers from the National Security Division in the Department of Justice then drew up an application. They took it to the secret US court that deals with intelligence, the FISA court, named after the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act. They wanted to intercept the electronic records from two Russian banks. Their first application, in June, was rejected outright by the judge. They returned with a more narrowly drawn order in July and were rejected again. Finally, before a new judge, the order was granted, on October the 15th, three weeks before election day.”

The investigation, Wood avers, is in progress: a ticking time bomb waiting to go off under Trump’s chair in the Oval Office.

So let’s step back and look at the players: the CIA, MI6, “the head of an Eastern European intelligence agency,” and the “one of the Baltic states’ intelligence agencies” – an international coalition out to oust Trump.

Talk about “foreign interference” in American politics! This makes Russia’s alleged intervention look like child’s play.

The Never-Trumpers are demanding a “bipartisan independent commission” to investigate the alleged Russian connection to the Trump campaign: they might as well call it the Commission to De-legitimize Trump’s Presidency. These “patriots” scream that “foreign interference” is a mortal danger to the Republic, and that Trump is Putin’s Manchurian candidate intent on raising the Russian flag over the Capitol.

It’s hogwash of the sort we haven’t seen since the 1950s, when J. Edgar Hoover was “investigating” (i.e. harassing) anyone who didn’t toe the cold war line. But these people wouldn’t dream of investigating the many foreign connections to the anti-Trump campaign, stretching all the way from London to Kiev to the Baltic states (I’d guess Estonia).

The latest word is that Steele, “in fear for his life,” has fled his multi-million-dollar estate and is hiding in a “safe house,” perhaps in “another country.” Has anyone looked in Lindsey Graham’s closet? Those two drama queens should get along famously.

#justin raimondo #anti-war

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placetobenation · 4 years

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Spoiler alert for those of you who taped this fight and still haven’t gotten around to watching it yet. On February 11th, 1990, in Toyko, Japan, James “Buster” Douglas as a 42 to 1 underdog pulled off the biggest upset in boxing history, arguably in the history of sports. Mike Tyson was one of the most dominate athletes in all of sports up until that point. He had become the youngest Heavyweight Champion of the World ever at the age of 20. By 21, he would be the undisputed World Heavyweight Champion, unifying the WBA, WBC, and IBF championships. By 22, he would defeat the lineal champion Michael Spinks in 91 seconds making him truly undisputed as the most dominate force in the heavyweight division and the Baddest Man on the Planet. Tyson’s meteoric rise to the top at such a young age suggested that he would continue to be a dominate force going into the 90’s. This fight against Douglas was seen as a tune up fight for a future encounter with number one contender Evander Holyfield. No one was taking this fight seriously except for Buster Douglas.

Personally, there are few of us who remember the first time one of our heroes let us down. This fight took place three days before my 10th birthday. Mike Tyson was one of my childhood heroes. I was too little to really understand some of his character flaws. In large part my love of Mike Tyson was tied closely with my love for the 1987 NES Classic Mike Tyson’s Punch Out! I had seen some boxing on tv but really couldn’t appreciate some of the nuances of the sport. All I knew was that Mike Tyson was one of the coolest guys on the planet along with Jim McMahon, Barry Sanders, Bo Jackson, and Robin Yount. I had wanted very badly to see Tyson take on Buster Douglas, hoping to witness Tyson knock out some bum in about 30 seconds. We didn’t have HBO and my Mom remembered the pain in the backside that we had to go through when I talked her into ordering the Tyson vs Spinks fight in 1988. Pay Per View didn’t used to be so easy to order. And to be treated with a 91 second fight, the whole thing seemed hardly worth it. Instead, she promised to have her friend from work tape WrestleMania 6 for me, so I got over not seeing Tyson vs Douglas pretty quickly. Besides, Mike Tyson was going to be on Saturday Nights Main Event shortly after my birthday. Tyson was going to knock out Hogan and help Savage regain the WWE Championship. Mike Tyson appearing in wrestling was two of my favorite things coming together. So I was feeling pretty optimistic going into this fight. When I found out that Mike Tyson had lost, I couldn’t believe it. As in, this did not compute. I was in denial. I had seen Tyson beat Michael Spinks in 91 seconds. I had seen him take out Little Mac with one punch. I was in denial. Then to find out that Buster Douglas would be taking his place to referee the Randy Savage vs Hulk Hogan match on Saturday Nights Main Event, I was crushed. The world is a much simpler place when you are nine.

Mike Tyson would go on to disappoint me pretty much for the rest of his career after the Douglas fight. Whether it be learning the facts of life from an older kid at school when asking out loud why Tyson was going to prison or his comedy fight in his comeback match with Peter McNeely. The time Mike bit off Evander Holyfield’s ear or getting exposed and dissected by Lennox Lewis. And let’s not forget his final match in which he just gave up because his heart wasn’t in it anymore. This night in Tokyo really was the beginning of the end for “Iron” Mike Tyson. The aura of invincibly was gone.

As for the fight itself, the entire HBO broadcast is up on YouTube and I will link to it here. The pre-fight hype really spelled out just how hopeless the situation for Buster Douglas was. Just the way Jim Lampley says the fight is “scheduled” for 12 rounds and points to all the empty seats doesn’t really sell anyone on the broadcast they are about to see. I have to respect the journalistic integrity of Lampley and Larry Merchant, who are calling this fight. They aren’t trying to BS the audience in anyway. They use words like mismatch, non-competitive, and annihilation. Merchant’s first comment is striking. “This match was over before it even began or soon thereafter.” They really capture the mood surrounding the fight. Nothing to see here, folks, but Don King and some Japanese businessmen are paying for this fight so let’s get this over with. At some point during the fight they explain that the Japanese wanted this fight mostly as a status symbol, hosting it at the Tokyo Dome to give people a chance to say they saw Mike Tyson defend his championship. I understand this completely. On May 3rd, 2008, I went to the Home Depot Center in Carson, California to see Oscar De La Hoya take on Steve Forbes. I bought the cheapest ticket possible, nearly at the top of this soccer stadium. I watch the fight through binoculars amongst a group of other common people. But we all get to say that we saw one of the all time great fighters live and in person.

They couldn’t even be bothered to find out what Buster Douglas looked like when drawing the poster.

The pre-match hype videos for Tyson and Douglas also don’t inspire a lot of faith. The gist of them are that Mike Tyson is a force of nature that has dominated the world of boxing and capture the imagination of all. Also he scared some of the locals while visiting Japan by catching a pigeon with his bare hands. On the other hand, James “Buster” Douglas is from Columbus, Ohio. They even name drop Woody Hayes as having a slight connection to Douglas’ trainer. They did put over that Buster Douglas’ mom had died just weeks before the fight, the implication being his heart might be heavy coming into this match. The boxers enter the ring and they aren’t doing much to even focus on Douglas’ strong points. He might as well have had ‘Opponent’ on the back of his robe.

The Japan Sporting Commission set up a ceremony where want to present Mike Tyson with a belt that supposedly belonged to Joe Louis. Tyson turns his back to them, not acknowledging their existence and completely disrespecting them. I am sure that did nothing to endear him to the Japanese public. The tale of the tape should be the first indication that something isn’t right here because Douglas has pretty much every physical advantage in size and reach. Douglas is in the best shape of his career, ten pounds lighter than his most recent fight with Oliver McCall. Tyson looks bored with this whole thing and just wants to get back to the hotel. Evander Holyfield is at ringside and we are promised an interview with him “in a few short moments.”

Round 1

Douglas takes control of the bout immediately, working the left jab and tying up Tyson whenever he tries to get inside. Douglas displays an uncharacteristic quickness which avoids some of Tyson’s attempts to explode inside and land the combination that will put this fight away early. When Tyson charges forward, Douglas quickly evades the onslaught and ties the champ up. Douglas keeps working the jab and has Tyson fighting his fight.

This is a defining image that really sums up this fight.

DeDamos’ Score Card: 10-9 Douglas.

Round 2

Tyson explodes out of the corner, hoping to catch Douglas off guard and land the big combination. That doesn’t work. Douglas avoids the onslaught, landing a few blows inside before tying Tyson up. We see a little bit of Tyson’s bob and weave, peek-a-boo defense to avoid Douglas’ reach. Mike quickly abandons that, opting instead to absorb the left jab and try to get inside to land a big uppercut. Douglas is too fast for him, beat Tyson to the punch and landing some devastating rights before tying the champ up. Before the end of the round, Douglas unloads on Tyson and to Mike’s credit, he keeps on his feet. Nothing did too much damage but Douglas is landing his shots and controlling the tempo of the fight.

DeDamos’ Score Card: 10-9 Douglas. 20-18 Douglas.

Round 3

Tyson tries exploding at the bell again and again get frustrated by Douglas. Tyson through the round does match to get some good shots in at the body but can’t follow up with any of them. He is still looking for the big punch, namely an uppercut, to put this away. Douglas is tiring out some. He is landing his leg jab still and getting in a few combinations when Tyson gives him an opening. Douglas is still doing a good job frustrating the champ by tying him up inside. Tyson is trying to land what he can while tied by but there is nothing behind those punches. Tyson is shows some signs of life. He didn’t prepare well for this fight at all and it shows. Douglas keeps leading with the right cross when Tyson tries to get inside, always being on step ahead of Iron Mike.

DeDamos’ Score Card: 10-9 Douglas. 30-27 Douglas.

Between rounds we see how ineffective Tyson’s corner is. They basically tell him to stay the coarse and punch on the inside. Tyson rolls his eyes and looks about fed up with this nonsense. Douglas is in his head and Tyson is thoroughly frustrated.

Round 4

Both guys are looking gassed and have slowed down quite a bit. The announcers are seeking answers for what they are witnessing. Tyson firing trainer Kevin Rooney might have something to do with why his is so ill prepared and easy to hit. Tyson keeps trying to explode forward but Douglas keeps tying him up and neutralizing the champs offense. Tyson has some success early in the round, landing some jabs, catching Douglas in the chin. To Douglas’ credit, he keeps on his feet and doesn’t get taken back. It looks like Tyson might win the round but Douglas gets back to working the left jab and explodes with a flurry towards the end of the round. It’s hard to say what landed and what didn’t as both men were trying to land some punches to win the round. Douglas is still controlling the pace of the fight.

DeDamos’ Score Card: 10-9 Tyson. 39-37 Douglas.

Between rounds we see Evander Holyfield in the crowd, watching a $12 Million pay day against Tyson in June fly right out the window. Evander knows what he is seeing and doesn’t like it one bit.

Round 5

Tyson is lost without a map. There is no explosiveness. No evasion. Douglas imposes his will on Tyson in this round. Douglas works the left jab, Tyson keeps coming inside to try to establish something and keeps catching a right cross of his effort. Douglas has been leading with the right all fight and now it has swollen Mike’s eye shut. Tyson’s legs are getting weak but he takes everything Buster gives him and stays on his feet. I don’t know that Tyson landed a punch that round.

DeDamos’ Score Card: 10-9 Douglas. 49-46 Douglas.

Between the rounds we see the legendary moment where Tyson’s corner uses a condom filled with ice water to reduce the swelling on his eye. I am only assuming it was ice water, they may have used lukewarm tap water. These corner men were so bad that they didn’t bother to bring the proper equipment. Normally, the corner would have a cold press or end-swell. It’s a piece of iron that is kept cold for occasions such as this. Every fight corner has one. It’s standard equipment. It is so comically amateur that this defies description.

Round 6

Tyson shows some of the explosiveness that he has left, leaping in with lightning quick strikes which aren’t landing. Douglas is still too quick to let these punches land with the effectiveness they need to score the knockout. Tyson looks for the uppercut inside but keeps running into that lead right from Buster. Tyson desperately wants to land the big punch that will end this bout before it gets any further. Douglas is relaxed and in control. He keeps landing two left jabs and a right cross, which has worked for him all fight. Tyson lands a few punch inside but there isn’t much behind those them. Douglas continues to be the ring general.

DeDamos’ Score Card: 10-9 Douglas. 59-55 Douglas.

Round 7

The song remains the same. Tyson attempts a low blow early in the round. It had nothing behind it and thankfully the ref didn’t see it. For those who question the heart and toughness of Mike Tyson, a lesser boxer would have fallen by now from the beating he has received at the hands of Buster Douglas. Tyson is clearly frustrated and looking for that opening to land the uppercut.

DeDamos’ Score Card: 10-9 Douglas. 69-64 Douglas.

Round 8

Douglas comes out the first half of the round a bit off. He isn’t throwing many punches, just tying up the champ and taking his time. Buster might be a little too loose and relaxed. Douglas just looks off compared to where he was in the last three rounds. Midway through, Douglas starts landing his left jabs, probably realizing that he has to keep winning rounds if this goes to the 12th. Tyson keeps running into Douglas’ lead right as he comes inside. Douglas sees an opening near the end of the round and starts unloading on Tyson. Tyson takes everything Douglas dishes out then finally hits that uppercut he has been looking for all night,putting Douglas on the mat for the first knockdown of the fight.

This is where we have some controversy. Don King and his people will contest the fight over. The count appears to be a bit slow. The ref and the time keeper are off by about 2 seconds. When Douglas gets knocked down, he punches the mat in frustration. Douglas is listening for the referees count, taking all the time he is allotted before getting to his feet. Having watched this over several times, I am confident that Douglas could have gotten up well before the ref’s count of 9 which would have been the time keepers count of 11.

Douglas gets to his feet and is saved by the bell before Tyson can strike again.

DeDamos’ Score Card: 10-8 Tyson. 77-74 Douglas.

Round 9

This is the pivotal round of the fight. How will Douglas respond to getting knocked down? How much does he have left? If he can’t maintain control of this fight, be the ring general Douglas has been for the previous 8 rounds, Tyson will take control of the fight and score the knock out. Douglas has to show that he has conditioning and heart that he has lacked his whole career, notably in his only other title fight against Tony Tucker. Douglas rises to the occasion, tying up the champ and taking his time to clear the cob webs. Tyson looks to quicken the pace of the fight, to land that final punch that will end the fight. But Tyson is running on empty too. Douglas unloads on Tyson with a flurry of blows with 2 minutes to go in the round. Tyson answers back and wobbles the challenger. Douglas keeps on his feet and goes back to neutralizing Tyson and slowing him down. Then with a minute left, Douglas opens up his offense again. Tyson gets to the ropes to keep him on his feet. Douglas punches himself out trying to get Tyson on the mat but Tyson keeps on the ropes. Tyson clears his head and looks to land a few bombs but there is nothing behind his punches. He misses more than he hits and the round is mercifully over. It was gut check time for Douglas and he make a statement. He is still in this fight and not going anywhere.

DeDamos’ Score Card 10-9 Douglas. 87-83 Douglas

Round 10

Tyson comes out with a nice right, tagging Douglas in the side of the head. Now it’s Tyson looking to tie up Douglas who is looking for an opening to put this fight away. Douglas finds that opening mid way through the tenth. Douglas opens up with a fiery combination, knocking down Tyson for the first time in his professional career. Tyson looks for his mouth guard as he flounders around the mat. Tyson can’t get to his feet by ten and his on dream street. James “Buster” Douglas has done the impossible. He has overcome 42-1 odds and beat the undefeated Mike Tyson to become the undisputed Heavyweight Champion of the World. No one believes what they are seeing.

Buster Douglas overcame the death of his mother two week before the fighter and the mother of his child being hospitalized with kidney issues to take on the biggest challenge of his career. And he won. One only sports book would even take bets on this fight. This was the ultimate underdog story of a man defying all expectations, tapping into all of his potential, moving past a career of underachievement, and putting it all together on one night to become the undisputed Heavyweight Champion of the World. The way he prepared for this fight, Douglas could have beaten anyone that night. Tyson came in completely unprepared and when he wasn’t able to intimidate his opponent, he didn’t know what to do.

Tyson showed the kind of class that would be the hallmark of his career, quickly exiting the ring without acknowledging that the man who beat him just had the fight of his life. He didn’t shake the man’s hand or congratulate him. Imagine that ending to Mike Tyson’s Punch Out. “You didn’t do shit, Little Mac. I’m going to tie your ass up in court. Screw you, pal.” Buster Douglas makes sure to credit his mother and his father for this win. His dad had been his trainer early in his career but following the Tony Tucker fight, Buster made the hard decision to fire his dad. According to the shoot interviews I have watched, it seems like Buster Douglas didn’t respond well to his father’s constant pressure on him, which lead to Buster’s underachievement in much of his career. Still, Buster loved his father but to get to the next level, he had to go in another direction. The post match interview with Evander Holyfield, he is trying to put a good spin on things even though a lot of money just slipped through his fingers. He is saying the right platitudes but the look on his face tells a different story. It would be six years before the world would see Tyson vs Holyfield but that is a story for another day.

The judges score cards are the biggest travesty of this fight. The American judge had it at 88-82, which is pretty close to where I had it. He must have scored the 8th a 9-9, giving that round to Douglas. Maybe I have a lot to learn about scoring. The first Japanese judge had Tyson leading 87-86. The second Japanese judge had it tied 86-86. I don’t want to accuse anyone of being bribed by Don King but that is better than the alternative. At least being on the take would make sense. I invite you to watch this fight and tell me what your score card looks like. I can’t imagine any unbiased person could watch this fight and have Tyson winning it or a tie. If this had gone 12 rounds, either they were going to rob Douglas of the decision or those two judges had no business judging a boxing match or anything else for that matter. I hope the judge who had Tyson ahead on his card was either in King’s pocket or they have such poor judgment that they was never allowed to judge anything ever again. Not a wet t-shirt contest, a hot dog eating contest, and certainly never judge his neighbor.

Following this fight, Don King and the Tyson camp almost immediately protested the decision. The WBA and WBC were willing to take their complaints seriously but ultimate this never went any where. For Buster Douglas, having his title win tied up in court by Don King really messed with him. For the moment though, Buster Douglas was a household name overnight. WWE quickly replaced Tyson as the special guest referee for The Main Event match between Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage. To my disappointment, Douglas didn’t help Savage win the belt. Sega made a deal with Buster Douglas to quickly put out a video game. They repackaged the 1988 boxing title Final Blow , which had not been released in North America, as James “Buster” Douglas Knockout Boxing. Douglas even appeared in the “Genesis Does What Nintendon’t” commercials. The idea being Nintendo has Tyson in Punch Out, well we have the guy who beat Tyson therefore we have the better game system. Douglas picked up some acting gigs and media appearance. I don’t know if he was prepared for becoming a media sensation overnight.

On October 25, 1990, James “Buster” Douglas defended his undisputed World Heavyweight Championship against Evander “Real Deal” Holyfield. Douglas came into the fight out of shape and unprepared. He was quickly dismantled by Holyfield, being knocked out in the third round. This was a disappointment for pretty much everybody. Douglas had really turned the corner on his career in the fight against Tyson. Boxing was desperately in need of stars and if Douglas had been able to make a competent showing against Holyfield, it would have been good for the sport overall. Douglas didn’t return to his pre-Tyson form in this fight. He was worse than he had ever looked in his career. Douglas blames this on the prolonged court battle with Don King and being distracted by the threat that his win in Toyko could be taken away. It’s hard to believe that no one in Douglas’ camp could have gotten through to him. King was a snake in the grass and these sort of tactics were well within his character. But King also didn’t have a leg to stand on. If in fact Douglas was distracted by this legal battle then his team failed him terrible. Let the lawyers handle the legal matters, get your fighter focused on what he has to do in the ring. That didn’t happen. Douglas would disappear from boxing until 1996. He had ballooned to over 400lbs and slipped into a diabetic coma. It was a near miracle that Douglas survived this coma much less returned to the ring. Douglas would win a series of fights against tomato cans, never really able to regain the footing he once had in his career. Buster Douglas would quietly retire in 1999. Today, Douglas is at peace with his life and career. He makes occasional media appearances. It seems like he is in a good place in his life and has no regrets.

It is well documented what happened to Mike Tyson following this fight. A downward spiral began that lasted him the rest of his professional career. Tyson would go on to have some big fights and big pay days. But he never was the same boxer after this fight with Douglas. Truthfully, firing Kevin Rooney as his trainer and the death of his mentor Cus D’Amato may have been the real beginning of the end for Tyson but the lose to Douglas was a moment in time where we can pinpoint the wheels falling off. In 2005, Tyson would have his last fight against Kevin McBride, a young prospect but not someone seen on Tyson’s level. The fight went to seven rounds. To start the seventh, Tyson refused to leave his corner, giving up on the fight and boxing. In a rare candid moment, in the post fight Tyson admitted that he didn’t have it anymore and it was disrespectful to the sport for him to come out here and embarrass himself. When asked if he was worried about disappointing the fans Tyson said that the fans knew his career ended in 1990. It’s a heartbreakingly honest interview in which Tyson says what everyone already knew. It’s worth watching the McBride fight for the post-fight interview alone. Boxing can be a world with a lot of dishonesty so to see someone be so brutally truthful was unusual. Today, Tyson seems to be in a good place in his life. He has tried to make peace with his past and make amends from some of his terrible deeds.

Buster Douglas was never that good before, he would never be that good again. But on one night in Toyko, Buster Douglas put everything together to be the ultimate underdog story and fought a nearly perfect fight.Few underdog stories even compare. Perhaps only The Miracle on Ice is a bigger upset in the history of sports. Upsets are part of what makes sports interesting. People love the idea that on any given day, the 42-1 long shot can pull it over and be the World Champion. Whether it’s the 1994 Denver Nuggets knocking off the first seed Seattle Super Sonics in the playoffs. The 2003 Florida Marlins knocking off the Chicago Cubs and New York Yankees to an improbable second World Series title. Sports often go the way we expect them to, with unbelievable talent becoming champions and dynasties. But sometimes Mazeroski hits a walk off home run. Sometimes Havichek steals the ball. Sometimes we do believe in miracles. And sometimes Buster Douglas can beat Mike Tyson.

#IFTTT #Place to Be Nation

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jahquel18-blog · 4 years

Text

Thought Paper 2

Jahquel Webb

AFS 363

October 17, 2019

The media has played an important role in society all throughout history. In the 1900s, you can see the difference between black and whites, especially in how they were portrayed in film or news. Bell hooks says “When most black people in the United States first had the opportunity to look at film and television they did so fully aware that mass media was a system of knowledge and power reproducing and maintaining white supremacy”(Hooks, 1992). African Americans were fully aware of that. For example, on tv shows the casts were typically all white, the news reporters are white as well as the news anchors. Therefore, the ratio was unbalanced and when they did use blacks it would only be for sports or crime rates, which shows viewers what the media thought of African Americans.

Technology and the media has improved since the 1900s, but there is still this gap between blacks and whites. There was no representation before so I feel as though in the 1900s you see this gap more blatantly. For example, on the Disney Channel most of the main characters are white. They would also have black characters, which made room for some representation but there was still a lack of equal representation. Media does not accurately portray Blacks and their culture. Eurocentrism is a commonly used method that the media partakes in. This is when you resent ideas or experiences of whites as normal, this is also known as white racism. The media uses this method against Blacks very frequently in the past and the present. For example if a African American committed a murder on the news they would say “ A black male age 22 just has committed a murder”. If the murder was white they would say “ A male age 22 just has committed a murder”. It’s like the media makes sure the audience knows this is a person of color who did committed a wrongful act. Which they never do for whites it’s quite unfair. The media also likes to reiterates stereotypes that Blacks are typically given especially in the media. There usually a thug, criminal, or any bad guy in a tv show. It’s always a negative look when African Americans are being portrayed.

If you thought the gap between black and whites were huge imagine about African American women. They also had to deal with race division and gender division as well. So it was like double trouble for women, “They never went to the movies expecting to see compelling representations of black femaleness” (Hooks 119). Therefore, this shows you the respect white people had for African American women. It was so much cinematic racism going on and if you weren't ultra-white you couldn’t get certain parts in movies.

I feel like institutions can maintain class divisions in many ways. With prisons, the rate of Blacks that are incarcerated is higher than whites even if they committed the same crime. Therefore, you can see whites have had more privileges than Blacks. Blacks also tend to feel as though they are in a social cycle that cannot be broken. Many people have sadly fallen victim to the streets, where there was nothing positive there for them. In the education world whites were being prejudice against blacks. It’s not because African Americans weren’t qualified, but the color tone of their skin left them in fear the most. They didn’t want blacks to be in the same space or even to gain knowledge because that meant they were being given power. Whites wanted to keep this power, but affirmative action came along the way which helped minorities get into colleges or jobs. Therefore, that even the stakes between blacks and whites because before the affirmative action blacks couldn’t get into certain schools just based off their prices. That really didn’t affect whites because majority had money or was kind of born into it. School really helped you get certain jobs so if you didn’t have the proper education you would most likely be poor. That usually trickled down to your kids and the next generation. If you close your eyes and thought of an “American Person” an African American would never come to mind. You would probably think of a white person with blonde hair. It’s like blacks aren’t even being considered, this is what you can sum up for advertising. They assumed a black image wouldn’t sell product and they didn’t want them to have any power, it was supposed to be about “white supremacy”. In the past businesses also use to be seperated. Blacks would be with blacks and whites with whites. Now things are slightly changed because by law you can’t discriminate by the color of your skin, age, or gender. But people find loopholes of course. For example, a white store owner might follow a black person around to make sure he was not doing nothing. Which is not fair to African Americans and that’s not how life should be going for us.

Black kids do not see themselves represented on TV or in the media. It’s like they have no positive role models in the media and that’s because black stereotypes are always portrayed. This makes blacks think they won’t be good and that they won’t have power, it’s like they can’t break the cycle all cause of white supremacy. The media uses images and language to influence the viewpoints of their viewers. The frequent use of stereotypes in media gives racist white individuals a feeling that their biases are acceptable and valid which is awful because everybody should be treated equally. This lead blacks to believe that either they have no chance of becoming anything more or will be different than the stereotypes. Some blacks want to take action and prove they are more different than the stereotypes brought upon them.

Over the years you can see how much of a part media played in society. They even set double standards between Blacks and Whites through media. For example, “Kardasians” and “Love & Hip Hop” I feel like it’s the same show and that they both have drama but one is more accepted than the other. When watching “Love and Hip Hop” you hear comments like “why are they fighting” and “They are better than this” and I feel it’s like this because of the color of their skin. When the Kardasians do anything it’s never addressed or talked about as if it’s okay. The media shines light on who they want to shine light on. For African Americans it’s negative for example, when Barack Obama wore the tan suite, media couldn’t let that go but Donald Trump done did so many things and he ain’t get shined any light on him. Overall, the media played a big role in both situations I gave examples for and African Americans were on the wrong side of the stick both times.

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latesthollywoodnews · 5 years

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Celebrities REACT To James Charles and Tati Westbrook Fallout

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Celebrities REACT To James Charles and Tati Westbrook Fallout, Pixar News.

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It’s been quite a wild weekend in the YouTube-verse after beauty guru Tati Westbrook canceled James Charles, and fellow YouTubers are officially weighing in and taking sides.

What’s up guys, it’s Sussan Mourad back here on Clevver News, and unless you were on some sort of social media detox this weekend, you probably heard the news:

Tati Westbrook, who has mentored James and basically built his career from the ground up, CAME for him in a 43-minute video, calling him out for lying to his followers, collaborating with her competitors and being a creep toward straight men.

So that’s the rundown in a nutshell. If you want more details, you can head on over to Tati’s youtube channel and watch the 43 minute video yourself, for a full play by play breakdown.

ANYWAY, it obviously didn’t take long for the rest of YouTube to weigh in with their thoughts on the matter… and let’s just say there’s a reason this sister literally lost over 2 million subscribers and counting.

Makeup and beauty mogul Jeffree Star was quick to side with Tati as he tweeted, “There’s a reason why Nathan banned James Charles from ever coming over to our home again. There’s a reason why I haven’t seen him since @GlamLifeGuru’s birthday in February. He is a danger to society. Everything Tati said is 100% true.”

He then went on to congratulate Tati on her growing followers… from 6, to 7, then to 8 million all within the weekend.

Zara Larson chimed in with a bit of her own tea as well, with a tweet that she eventually deleted that read, “I’m cackling cause he hit up my boyfriend in the dms several times knowing damn well he’s straight.” She went on to clarify her reason for deleting the tweet, saying, “It made me really uncomfortable cause I felt like it was unproportionally blown up and I honestly don’t wanna be a part of it. I feel like I shouldn’t have made my self involved, even if the behavior is problematic in general.”

It doesn’t end there, YouTuber KeemStar wrote, “James Charles is a dummy for a lot of this but @emmachamberlain & @EthanDolan @GraysonDolan unfollowing him on IG is straight scumbag shit. You all acted like u were best friends then his career tanks and you ghosts him. Never be friends with these people they’re fake AF!”

All drama aside, Shane Dawson decided to take the high road, while also throwing in a bit of shade in his post, as he praised Tati’s Halo Beauty line. While he didn’t actually mention James’ name… we caught on rather quickly. Jenn McAllister summed it up pretty perfectly, writing, “omg it’s so embarrassing being a YouTuber in the year 2019 cause none of y’all can fuckin act right.” I mean… girl’s kinda got a point…

Elijah Daniel clearly felt strongly about the whole sitch, making MANY jokes, and even went as far to start a TikTok dance challenge set to a remix of James’ 8-minute apology video.

Katy Perry even weighed in on the shade by liking a tweet that attacked James Charles… and we all know that a ‘like’ is worth a thousand words, especially when it’s from a celeb, so need I say more?

But seriously, the celebs have spoken, and right now I’m curious to know your thoughts on this whole James v. Tati drama. And also are you one of the people that have unsubscribed from James? Get to talking down here in the comments section. You can also find me on Instagram, Twitter and YouTube @Sussan_Mourad.

Then when you’re done, be sure to click right over here for another new video, and as always, don’t forget to subscribe to our channel and hit that bell so you never miss a juicy update. Thanks for taking part in our tea party… until next time!

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rsetton · 6 years

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Sexing the Cherry, Jeanette Winterson

“The Hopi, an Indian tribe, have a language as sophisticated as ours, but no tenses for past, present and future. The division does not exist. What does this say about time?

Matter, that thing the most solid and the well-know, which you are holding in your hands and which makes up your body, is now known to be mostly empty space. Empty space and points of light. What does this say about the reality of the world?”

“Every journey conceals another journey within its lines: the path not take and the forgotten angle. These are the journeys I wish to record. Not the ones I made, but the ones I might have made or perhaps did make in some other place or time.”

“For the Greeks, the hidden life demanded invisible ink. They wrote an ordinary letter and in between the lines set out another letter, written in milk. The document looked innocent enough until one who knew better sprinkled coal-dust over it. What the letter had been no longer mattered; what mattered was the life flaring up undetected...”

“I was giving myself the slip and walking through this world like a shadow. The longer I eluded myself the more obsessed I became with the thought of discovery. Occasionally, in company, someone would snap their fingers in front of my face and ask, ‘Where are you?’ For a long time I had no idea, but gradually I began to find evidence of the other life and gradually it appeared before me.”

“So I sing inside the mountain of my flesh, and my voice is as slender as a reed and my voice has no lard in it. When I sing the dogs sit quiet and people who pass in the night stop their jabbering and discontent and think of other times, when they were happy. And I sing of other ties, when I was happy, though I know that these are figments of my mind and nowhere I have ever been. But does it matter if the place cannot be mapped as long as I can still describe it?”

“To escape from the weight of the world, I leave my body where it is, in conversation or at dinner, and walk through a series of winding streets to a house standing back from the road.

The streets are badly lit and the distance from one side to the other no more than the span of my arms. The stone crumbles, the cobbles are uneven. The people who throng the streets shout at each other, their voices rising from the mass of heads and floating upwards towards the church spires and the great copper bells that clang the end of the day. Their words, rising up, form a thick cloud over the city, which every so often must be thoroughly cleansed of too much language. Men and women in balloons fly up from the main square and, armed with mops and scrubbing brushes, do battle with the canopy of words trapped under the sun.

The words resist erasure. The oldest and most stubborn form a thick crust of chattering rage. Cleaners have been bitten by words still quarreling, and in one famous lawsuit a woman whose mop had been eaten and whose hand was badly mauled by a vicious row sought to bring the original antagonists to court. The men responsible made their defense on the grounds that the words no longer belonged to them. Years had passed. Was it their fault if the city had failed to deal with its overheads? The judge ruled against the plaintiff but ordered the city to buy her a new mop. She was not satisfied, and was later found lining the chimneys of her accused with vitriol.”

“When Jordan was a boy he made paper boats and floated them on the river. From this he learned how the wind affects a sail, but he never learned how love affects the heart. His patience was exceeded only by his hope. He spent days and nights with his bits of wood salvaged from chicken crates, and any piece of paper he could steal became a sail. I used to watch him standing in the mud or lying face down, his nose almost in the current, his hands steadying the boat and then letting it go straight into the wind. Letting go hours of himself. When the time came he did the same with his heart. He didn’t believe in shipwreck.”

“The house is empty now, but it was there, dangling over dinner, illuminated by conversation and rich in the juices of a wild duck, that I noticed a woman whose face was a sea voyage I had not the courage to attempt.”

“...every mapped-out journey contains another journey hidden in its lines...”

“It is a true saying, that what you fear you find.”

“I noticed that women have a private language. A language not dependent on the constructions of men but structured by signs and expressions, and that uses ordinary words as code-words meaning something other.

In my petticoats I was a traveller in a foreign country. I did not speak the language. I was regarded with suspicion.

I watched women flirting with men, pleasing men, doing business with men, and then I watched them collapsing into laughter, sharing the joke, while the mean, all unknowing, felt themselves master of the situation and went off to brag in barrooms and to preach from pulpits the folly of the weaker sex.

This conspiracy of women shocked me. I like women; I am shy of them but regard them highly. I never guessed how much they hate us or how deeply they pity us. They think we are children with too much pocket money.”

“7. Men are never never to be trusted with what is closest to your heart, and if it is they who are closest to your heart, do not tell them.”

“10. Your greatest strength is that every man believes he knows the sum and possibility of every woman.”

“I am too huge for love. No one, male or female, has ever dared to approach me. They are afraid to scale mountains.”

“I fell in love once, if love be that cruelty which takes us straight to the gates of Paradise only to remind us they are close forever.”

“Was I searching for a dancer whose name I did not know or was I searching for the dancing part of myself?”

“In the dark and in the water I weigh nothing at all. I have no vanity but I would enjoy the consolation of a lover’s face. After my only excursion into love I resolved never to make a fool of myself again.”

“Why could he not turn his life towards me, as trees though troubled by the wind yet continue in the path of the sun?”

“He admitted he was in love with her, but he said he loved me.

Translated, that means I want everything. Translated, that means, I don’t want to hurt you yet. Translated, that means, I don’t know what to do, give me time.

Why, why should I give you time? What time are you giving me? I am in a cell waiting to be called for execution.

I loved him and I was in love with him. I didn’t use language to make a war-zone of my heart.”

‘You’re so simple and good,’ he said, brushing the hair from my face.

He meant, Your emotions are not complex like mine. My dilemma is poetic.”

“In the world there is a horror of plagues. Of mysterious diseases that wipe out towns and cities, leaving empty churches and bedclothes that must be burned. Holy water and crosses and mountain air and the protection of saints and a diet of watercress are all thought to save us as a species from rotting. But what can save us as a species from love? A man sold me a necklace made of chicken bones; he said these chickens were the direct descendants of the chickens who had scratted round the crib at Bethlehem. The bones would save me from pain of every kind and lead me piously to Heaven. He was wearing some himself.

‘And love?’ I said. ‘And love?’

He shook his head and assured me that nothing was proof against love. Not even the slightest amourette could be forestalled by an amulet. Bringint it on, though, was another matter- did I want a bag of spices mixed by Don Juan himself?

‘But surely if it can be encouraged it can also be prevented?’

‘Not at all,’ said the man, ‘for everyone is inclined to love. It is easy to bring on, impossible to end until it ends itself.’

‘And yet some people never love. My mother is one such.’

He said, ‘They have a secret somewhere. Usually.’

I thought of the great lovers, men and women who had made it their profession, who had tirelessly leapt from one passion to another, sometimes running two, three or four at once like a stunt charioteer. What were they looking for?

My own passions had nothing to recommend them. Not only was I chasing a dancer who, on the evidence of her sisters, was too old to move, I had in the past entangled myself in numerous affairs with women who would not, could not or did not love me. And did I love them? I thought so at the time, though now I have come to doubt it, seeing only that I loved myself through them.

On more than one occasion I have been ready to abandon my whole life for love. To alter everything that makes sense to me and to move into a different world where the only known will be the beloved. Such a sacrifice must be the result of love... or is it that the life itself was already worn out? I had finished with that life, perhaps, and could not admit it, being stubborn or afraid, or perhaps did not know it, habit being a great binder.

I think it is often so that those most in need of change choose to fall in love and then throw up their hands and blame it all on fate. But it is not fate, at least, not if fate is something outside of us; it is a choice made in secret after nights of longing.

When I have shaken off my passion, somewhat as a dog shakes off an unexpected plunge into the canal, I find myself without any understanding of what it was that ravaged me. The beloved is shallow, witless, heartless, mercenary, calculating, silly. Naturally these thoughts protect me, but they also render me entirely gullible or without discrimination.

And so I will explain it as follows.

A man or woman sunk in dreams that cannot be spoken, about a life they do not possess, comes suddenly to a door in the wall. They open it. Beyond the door is that life and a man or a woman to whom it is already natural. It may not be possessions they want, it may very well be the lack of them, but the secret life is suddenly revealed. This is their true home and this is their beloved.

I may be cynical when I say that very rarely is the beloved more than a shaping spirit for the lover’s dreams. And perhaps such a thing is enough. To be a muse may be enough. The pain is when the dreams change, as they do, as they must. Suddenly the enchanted city fades and you are left alone again in the windy desert. As for your beloved, she didn’t understand you. The truth is, you never understood yourself.”

“In an effort to find out I am searching for a dancer who may or may not exist, though I was never conscious of beginning this journey. Only in the course of it have I realized its true aim. When I left England I thought I was running away. Running away from uncertainty and confusion but most of all running away from myself. I though I might become someone else in time, grafted on to something better and stronger. And then I saw that the running away was a running towards. An effort to catch up with my fleet-footed self, living another life in a different way.

I gave chase in a ship, but others make the journey without moving at all. Whenever someone’s eyes glaze over, you have lost them. They are as far from you as if their body were carried at the speed of light beyond the compass of the world.

Time has no meaning, space and place have no meaning, on this journey. All times can be inhabited, all places visited. In a single day the mind can make a millpond of the oceans. Some people who have never crossed the land they were born on have travelled all over the world. The journey is not linear, it is always back and forth, denying the calendar, the wrinkles and lines of the body. The self is not contained in any moment or any place, but it is only in the intersection of moment and place that the self might, for a moment, be seen vanishing through a door, which disappears at once.”

“The earth is round and flat at the same time. This is obvious. That it is round appears indisputable; that it is flat is our common experience, also indisputable. The globe does not supersede the map; the map does not distort the globe.

Maps are magic. in the bottom corner are whales; at the top, cormorants carrying pop-eyed fish. In between is a subjective account of the lie of the land. Rough shapes of countries that may or may not exist, broken red lines marking paths that are at best hazardous, at worst already gone. Maps are constantly being re-made as knowledge appears to increase. But is knowledge increasing or is detail accumulating?

A map can tell me how to find a place I have not seen but have often imagined. When I get there, following the map faithfully, the place is not the place of my imagination. Maps, growing ever more real, are much less true.

And now, swarming over the earth with our tiny insect bodies and putting up flags and building houses, it seems that all the journeys are done.

Not so. Fold up the maps and put away the globe. If someone else had charted it, let them. Start another drawing with whales at the bottom and cormorants at the top, and in between identify, if you can, the places you have not found yet on those other maps, the connections obvious only to you. Round and flat, only a very little has been discovered.”

“In time all of the people started to adjust to their new rolling circumstances and it was discovered that the best way to overcome the problem was to balance above it.”

“Perhaps I’m missing the point--perhaps whilst looking for someone else you might come across yourself unexpectedly, in a garden somewhere or on a mountain watching the rain.”

“What do I want?

When I’m dreaming I want a home and a lover and some children, but it won’t work. Who’d want to live with a monster? I may not look like a monster any more but I couldn’t hide it for long. I’d break out, splitting my dress, throwing the dishes at the milkman if he leered at me and said, ‘Hello, darling.’ The truth is I’ve lost patience with this hypocritical stinking world. I can’t take it any more. I can’t flatter, lie, cajole or even smile very much. What is there to smile about?

‘You don’t try,’ my mother said. ‘It’s not so bad.’

It is so bad.

‘You’re pretty,’ said my father, ‘any man would want to marry you.’

Not if he pulled back my eyelids, not if he peeped into my ears, not if he looked down my throat with a torch, not if he listened to my heartbeat with a stethoscope. He’d run out of the room holding his head. He’d see her, the other one, lurking inside. She fits, even though she’s so big.”

“What would it matter if she crossed the world and hunted down every living creature so long as her separate selves eluded her? In the end when no one was left she would have to confront herself.”

“No safety without risk, and what you risk reveals what you value.”

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isabellelambert1975 · 6 years

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How to find a gardener who’s perfect for your garden

What’s the first thing you think about when you decide to find a gardener?

Is it ‘how much does a gardener cost?’

Or ‘how do I find a gardener who will make my garden look completely wonderful?’

Let’s get the secret doubts over….

Am I imagining it, or is there just a smidgeon of embarrassment about getting someone else to do your gardening?

In the nineteenth century, even very modestly-off families expected to pay someone to help out. But by the 1970s, an uneasy middle-class guilt emerged – in Britain, at least – about paying other people to do chores you could do yourself. Or you may feel that you’re a bit of a fraud if you get someone else to do the hard work – as if it’s ‘not your garden’ any more.

Recently I’ve been asking fellow garden writers what they think stops people from having the garden they really love. ‘Well, I know what stops me,’ said garden writer/photographer Annie Green-Armytage.’ It’s lack of time. Finally, we decided to get a gardener.’

I met Annie when we were both short-listed as Gardening Journalist of the Year in the 2017 Property Press Awards. So if an award-shortlisted garden writer can admit she needs a gardener, so can we all.

Essential questions to ask yourself…

The first thing to establish – before you find a gardener – is what you want him or her to achieve. I asked the All Horts Facebook Group, which has many professional gardeners, what the main issues between gardener and client are.

Almost everyone said that communication is the biggest problem. Gardener Charlotte Bell advises you to ‘talk to your gardener so everyone knows what to expect. My clients range from the horticulturally knowledgeable to those who just want a nice looking garden with minimum input from them’, she says.

So do you want a stunning garden, full of must-have plants and the latest trends? Or a tidy and well maintained green space that you don’t need to think about?

Do you want a gardener who will do what you do, but save you time? Someone to take your garden to the next level? Or just someone strong enough to do the jobs you can’t manage?

Do you need to find a gardener with qualifications?

Would you go to a hairdresser with no qualifications? Or an accountant or a plumber? Would you try to cut your own hair, do your own sums and mend your own boiler, or do you pay someone to do it better than you can?

Qualifications to look for include RHS, City & Guilds/NPTC, Lantra, and qualifications from horticultural colleges.

Some gardeners also learn by working for more experienced gardeners, such as in a garden that’s open to the public. So it’s not just about the paper qualifications, but who a gardener has worked with or for.

Essential questions to ask the gardener….

Warning! Not all gardeners are the same.

Gardeners can sometimes very roughly divide into ‘hedges/lawns’ and ‘plants’ (possibly otherwise known as ‘equipment’ or ‘flowers’).

People who mow lawns, trim hedges and work on trees may not necessarily have the experience you want when it comes to flower beds.

And, on the other hand, I have met several professional gardeners who are brilliantly creative and knowledgeable with plants, but who ‘don’t do lawns’.

So you may have to decide whether to get a good horticulturalist and mow the lawn yourself, or the other way round.

Ask gardeners, when you’re interviewing them, about their expertise, enjoyment or qualifications in both areas. There are gardeners who are qualified in both handling machinery and planting, but even they may have tasks they prefer.

Think in the medium and long-term…

If it’s beautiful borders you’re after, then a certain amount of planning is involved. Gardener Jeni Cheverton says ‘clients may not realise that in plant care, you’re usually thinking 2-3 years ahead, in terms of pruning management, herbaceous divisions, or the spacing of new plantings to allow for growth.’

Gardener Miranda Munday says ‘we work 1-3 years ahead to bring a garden up to scratch. It involves getting to know the garden, enhancing it, changing it and being adventurous (up to a point!)’

But can’t we just find a young person (at the minimum wage?)

Hmm – let us know how you get on with that one. You may have a magical source of reliable young people willing to work for the minimum wage, but I do not.

And will you be standing over this mythical being for hours, explaining exactly how to prune a rose bush and plant bulbs?

Or will you just hand the Young Person the chainsaw and hope they trim the hedges rather than lop their own foot off? In which case, may I remind you about Health & Safety at Work legislation and ask you to check your insurance?

Finally, remember that work experience trainees grow up. They soon turn into professionally qualified young men and women, often with young families. They will need to charge more or find other jobs. Those who are not interested in that sort of thing will disappear off around the world.

So you will have to return to your magical supplier of Young People quite frequently.

Oh, well…perhaps a retired gardener who just wants to work a few hours a week…?

Did I hear the unspoken phrase ‘for peanuts..’ at the end of that question? Or do we think that the recently retired are still charging 1990s prices?

If you retire in your mid to late sixties, there’s probably a limit to how long you want to ‘keep your hand in.’ Health or family issues may emerge.

But the retired gardener who just wants ‘to do a few hours’ (and who hasn’t raised his prices for decades) does exist. At least, I have heard of one, although he doesn’t seem to be around just at the moment….

OK, I get it. So how much does a gardener cost?

The Gardeners Guild, the association for qualified gardeners, points out that most self-employed tradesmen (eg plumbers, electricians, painters, etc) need to earn at least £150 a day. They say that usually means charging you £20-£40 an hour.

Gardeners need to invest in training. They have to buy good quality tools and maintain them. And they travel to different jobs, so they can’t afford to do less than two hours at any one job. Four hours is probably more practical for them.

Are your tools up to date and well maintained? Most gardeners find they need to bring their own professional-standard tools. Which cost money to buy and maintain.

However, an experienced gardener with good tools can probably achieve much more in 2-4 hours – and do it better – than someone inexperienced who borrows your tools. Your tools may not be the best, or may not be well maintained.

Andrew Palmer, Lawn Ranger Ground Maintenance, charges £22/3 per hour plus refuse removal charges. ‘One-off jobs like hedge cutting are budgeted separately. I’ve invested thousands in tools, plus running costs of my company and wages. The days of £12/15 an hour are long gone, I leave that to one-man bands or the recently retired.’ Admittedly, Andrew is based in South East England, which – along with the big cities – will be the most expensive part of the UK to employ a gardener.

If you just want a regular job done, like mowing the lawn, then the gardener will probably charge you on a fixed basis rather than by the hour.

But what if I pay cash?

Your gardener will need to pay tax, however you choose to pay them. It’s illegal not to pay tax and National Insurance.

Not paying tax also affects whether someone can get loans, credit or a mortgage.

It’s not fair to ask someone to break the law on your behalf.

How many hours a week do I need a gardener for?

All Horts member and gardener John Bates says: I do gardens of up to 1-2 acres and do everything in them, but that means 6-8 hours a week. I work year round so can’t accept a 9 months paid and three months off. I expect customers to be engaged with plans for improving the garden and I make recommendations to make the garden better not just for a quick buck.’

How much time your garden takes is also a question of what you plant and how you design it. My garden, which is about one-fifth of an acre, takes about two hours a week to garden, plus mowing the lawn. Annie Green-Armytage has replaced some of her high-maintenance beds with easy-care shrubs and perennials, rather than plants that need fussing over.

The Middlesized Garden needs about two hours of gardening a week, plus mowing the lawn.

John Bates suggests you think of a gardener as an ‘asset manager’. ‘If your garden is an asset to your home, and your home is your biggest investment, then you should pay gardeners the way you pay an asset manager.’

I did some sums, which are not very accurate, to find out how much you would pay a gardener if you paid them the same sort of percentage you pay your asset manager. There are no reliable figures on how much value a garden adds to a house, and quite a lot of other variables. But my rough calculations on the back of an envelope came to…£20-£35 an hour!

John might ask why fund managers earn so more than that, but that is because fund management can be scaled up (you can manage hundreds of funds at once), while you can only garden one piece of earth at a time.

Is there anything else I need to think about?

Parking. This can be a problem for gardeners in cities and towns. If gardeners are bringing tools, they need a car.

Insurance. A professional gardener should be insured, but you also need to check your own insurance, especially if power tools or diggers are involved. Gardening involves a surprisingly high number of accidents.

You (or your gardener) need a licence to use some power tools and other machinery.

Now where do I actually find a gardener?

The Gardeners Guild has a list of qualified members.

Also many gardeners learn by working or volunteering at professional gardens (ie those that open to the public). So it is probably worth contacting good gardens near you to see if anyone in their gardening team is looking for more work.

And check with neighbours who have the kind of garden you like. A gardener who has a full book of clients may be able to fit another one in if they live really close to a current client.

Lastly, there’s a huge growth in community gardening. If you have a community garden near you, they should be tapped into the gardening expertise in your neighbourhood. Ask whoever runs it to put out a call for gardener (and quote the rates you intend to pay!) in their regular newsletter if they have one.

The same goes for Facebook and Twitter. However, in my experience, jobs on Facebook and Twitter are widely shared and get a huge response, but in the end, not much seems to come of it. Still, it’s worth trying.

Lastly, may I mention the loo…?

Your house and garden is your home. But it’s also your gardener’s work place. When you go to work, do you expect to use your employer’s ‘facilities’?

And has any employer ever suggested that you should “go” behind the shed or outside?

I was completely amazed to come across a long and lively Facebook thread from gardeners whose clients don’t allow them to use the loo. Even when the loo is downstairs and they have offered to take their boots off! As gardener Jeni Cheverton says: ‘We can’t all pee behind a bush.’

This was originally a Victorian ‘gardeners’ loo.’ However, in today’s middle-sized gardens, such luxuries are a rarity….although I can see that there may be a problem if you are out at work and have complicated security arrangements.

And tea…

There was also alot of comment about people who don’t offer their gardeners tea, hot drinks or even a glass of water. Many gardeners take their own thermos, but if you are working outside for 4-5 hours, especially in the winter, fresh cups of hot tea or coffee are important.

However, at the other end of the spectrum, I have also seen professional gardeners posting photos on Instagram of tea, cake and Christmas presents from ‘lovely clients’.

As many good gardeners quickly get fully booked, it is worth being a ‘lovely client’ and getting out that tea, coffee and cake!

Finally, say when you like what your gardener has done – Miranda Munday echoes a number of others when she says ‘appreciation is wonderful.’

Let me know your tips on finding a good gardener, or if you are a gardener, leave a comment to add your point of view.

PS I am starting a new series on the Middlesized Garden YouTube channel called ‘Middlesized Garden of the Month.’ It will be uploaded on the first Saturday of every month.

The aim is to show you middle-sized – but beautiful – gardens that you might not otherwise see, either because they don’t open to the public or, if they do, they are only in small local schemes. But these gardens have great ideas and have the same challenges that you do. The first one is here:

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from The Middle-Sized Garden http://www.themiddlesizedgarden.co.uk/how-to-find-a-gardener-whos-perfect-for-your-garden/

#The Middle-Sized Garden

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callmehawkeye · 6 years

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Watched in 2018

The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story (Season 1): I didn’t expect to adore this as much as I did. Everyone knocked their roles out of the park. Crushes for dayyyyys.

The Keepers (2017): A serial documentary about the unsolved murder of Sister Cathy Cesnik and the most-likely possible connection of systematic abuse at the Catholic school she taught at.

Mindhunter (Season 1): Dramatization of the FBI in the late ‘70s as the Behavioral Science Unit developed their profiling and understanding of serial killers.

Roots (1977): I remember watching a bit of this mini-series in middle school and needing a signed permission slip. But that’s the extent of it. Happy I finally got a chance to watch it all the way through.

All the Money in the World (2017): Gorgeous film, noteworthy performances. I’m happy to give my money to a filmmaker who made a decision not many would try. I respect Scott a whole lot more now.

Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey (Season 1): The show’s budget is bananas and I love everything about it. SCIENCE RULES.

Proud Mary (2018): I found the trailer to be rather misleading in that I didn’t exactly get what I paid for. The genre was definitely more drama than action and Taraji was great, although I wished she had more screen time instead of the focus being on tired plot points and themes.

Mary and the Witch’s Flower (2018): More witchy cartoons, please. This was delightful.

Bill Nye Saves the World (Season 1): BILL! BILL! BILL! BILL! BILL!

Bill Nye Saves the World (Season 2.1): I can’t believe how good this is. It’s so open-minded and clever and validating.

The Watcher in the Woods (2017): The remake certainly isn’t as good as the original; it strips away too much of the mystery. But please cast Anjelica Huston in more projects, please please please. She’s still so captivating.

Luke Cage (Season 1): I feel like Mahershala Ali is what mostly held my attention......... And then.........

Lowriders (2016): I had an opinion about this, I’m sure. But I don’t remember this movie at all now.

Human Planet (Mini-Series): BBC docuseries about how people adjust to their natural environments.

Maria Bamford: The Special Special Special (2014): Maria’s slow return to standup by performing in her parents’ living room.

Los Angeles Plays Itself (2003): In-depth documentary of Los Angeles’ place in film history.

Maria Bamford: Old Baby (2017): Maria’s latest standup special that begins in front of the mirror, progresses to a small backyard crowd, and evolves to a full theater set.

Black Panther (2018): WAKANDA FOREVER!!! This better get some recognition come awards season for the visuals.

Chris Rock: Tamborine (2018): Some of his jokes fall flat, but he’s still engaging and it’s good to see Rock on stage again.

Queer Eye (Season 1): I have done nothing good enough in my life to deserve the wholesome goodness of this show.

Annihilation (2018): It’s not perfect, but not deserving of the backlash it got from its own studio. This was a perfect, immersive sci-fi thriller on par for me as the likes of Alien.

The Killing of America (1981): The brutal, graphic documenting of America’s violence problem in a condensed timeframe starting with the JFK assassination and ending on the murder of John Lennon.

A Wrinkle in Time (2018): There are many intricacies from the novel that I disagree with being excluded from this film adaptation. HOWEVER. It made me feel all the same feelings I did from when I first read the book as a child. I ADORED it.

Pacific Rim Uprising (2018): Okay. Buckle in. I have a lot of feelings to the point where I’m updating my film list of the year immediately afterwards and not waiting to stack up a good amount of viewings to justify an update. It was horrible. Third time in my life I ever walked out of a theater. Second time I’ve ever asked for a refund from a movie theater in my life. I don’t know why I’m so righteously disappointed. I didn’t expect it to have Guillermo’s direction nor heart; but it so thoroughly missed the mark I can already say in mid-March that it’s my biggest disappointment of the year. It was void of any charm the original had, took its faults that I recognized and viewed and magnified it by a trillion. It felt like an unfinished television pilot. DIAF.

Ready Player One (2018): Spielberg tried his best to make a better version of the novel, but it just felt soulless.

A Quiet Place (2018): One of the better horror movies I’ve seen in some time. I’m so proud of John Krasinski.

Love, Simon (2018): This was such a solid romantic comedy, I can’t even find a way to summarize it.

A Series of Unfortunate Events (Season 2): The best original series Netflix has. Don’t @ me.

The Family I Had (2017): The true recounting of a mother whose 13 year old son killed his 3 year old sister.

Genie: Secret of the Wild Child (1997): Documentary of the alias-named child Genie who was isolated and uncared for, for 13 years by her parents.

Rampage (2018): Delightfully stupid, but made me realize I can never go to an IMAX screening again because it was just like having someone shriek in my ear for two hours.

Isle of Dogs (2018): So beautiful, sweet, and heart-warming.

Welcome to Leith (2015): Unenlightened hypocrisy at its finest -- white supremacists try to make a small town their sanctuary only to be aghast no one wants them there.

The Avengers: Infinity War (2018): In typical Marvel Avengers films fashion (this is a comment excluding the standalone character films -- not Civil War, please, they stole Captain’s movie from him), it’s over-bloated and the good sum of its parts does not a good movie make.

The Americans (Season 1): I’ve forgotten to add this.

The Americans (Season 2): I marathoned everything.

The Americans (Season 3): To make it to the season 6 premiere in time.

The Americans (Season 4): It was great.

The Americans (Season 5): And then season 6 happened.

John Mulaney: Kid Gorgeous: The most relatable standup I’ve ever seen and now quote daily.

Billy Nye Saves the World (Season 3): BILL! BILL! BILL! BILL! BILL!

Evil Genius (2018): Docu-series about the murder of Brian Wells, also known as the collar bomb case.

Deadpool 2 (2018): It’s not better than the first one, but it was a breath of fresh air in the superhero fatigue I’m in.

Born in China (2017): Nature documentary focusing on some of China’s most famous animals, narrated by my boo John Krasinski.

Death Becomes Her (1992): Ridiculous and good camp.

The Girl Can’t Help It (1956): A fairly good fluff film about the entertainment industry with a solid fucking soundtrack.

Bell, Book, and Candle (1958): My aesthetic.

Near Dark (1987): A refreshingly different vampire movie with Bill Paxton shining in the center of it all.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (Season 4): I wish this entire show was just Titus.

Chef’s Table (Season 1): Glorious, glorious food and the methods of the people who make it.

Chef’s Table (Season 2): I can’t get enough of this series. But it just makes me sad none of these restaurants are down the street from me.

Chef’s Table (Season 3): This season includes Jeong Kwan. And I would die for her.

Arrested Development (Season 5): Sigh. I guess this is fine.

Ocean’s 8 (2018): Not my favorite heist movie. Not gay enough. Still a decent sit.

The Staircase (2018): The docu-series returned this year with new episodes. It’s a very back and forth issue for me.

Queer Eye (Season 2): This is the only show that matters anymore.

The Incredibles 2 (2018): Not a bad sequel. Very entertaining and I laughed a lot. Not a lot of the usual Pixar emotion, however.

Carmen Esposito: Rape Jokes (2018): I haven’t had a cathartic laugh this good since Tig Notaro’s Live.

Chef’s Table (Season 4): I’m crying because it’s all so beautiful.

Won’t You Be My Neighbor? (2018): I cried throughout this entire, lovely, tender-hearted documentary about a perfect man.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018): I left in the last 20 minutes to get an alcoholic beverage and didn’t return because fuck it, I was so damn bored.

A Star is Born (1976): Eh, at least we got Evergreen out of this.

Gaga: Five Foot Two (2017): This revitalized my respect for the woman.

Breathless (1960): I can see how this was so influential. Very romantic and wonderful outfits.

Tag (2018): I laughed so hard, and I haven’t enjoy a straight-up recently released comedy in so long.

Let No Man Write My Epitaph (1960): Can’t lie, at the 40 minute mark, I couldn’t believe there was another full hour of this slog left and turned it off.

Nailed It (Season 1): Comedic genius.

Nailed It (Season 2): Let Nicole Byers host everything.

Black Sunday (1960): May I present to you, my new favorite movie. It has everything I need.

Murder on the Orient Express (1974): Wow. Wow wow wow. Why did they remake this movie? This version was perfect and so, so superior in every way. I think I cried at one point?

Häxan: Witchcraft Through the Ages (1922): A documentary with excellent reenactments that made me think, “How’d this get past the Hays’ Code?!!?” before realizing it was an import.

Whitney (2018): Documentary about the woman herself with the people who were there with her through it all. I’m shocked by some of the things people admitted to on-camera and that they got Bobby to say anything at all. Denial runs deep. It was excellent to see her live shows on the big screen.

The Vietnam War (2017): An 18-hour documentary series that follows every year and major milestone of the war. Very bipartisan, honest, and I learned a lot.

Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018): Legitimately entertaining and a great refresh from Infinity War (which I hated).

The Witches (1966): Joan Fontaine is in the midst of a small-town conspiracy when she moves in as the new school teacher. Spoiler! The answer is the occult.

Jim Jefferies: This is Me Now (2018): Not bad, but didn’t encourage me to find another of his specials. It’s fine.

Hannah Gadsby: Nanette (2018): Challenge the form more!! This was so inspiring.

Growing Up Wild (2016): Disneynature division really needs new footage. Daveed Diggs was at least a great narration choice.

Sorry to Bother You (2018): Not at all what I was expecting -- although I did expect to like it and that was indeed met. I want to tell you nothing. Go in blind.

Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation (2018): How do these movies continue to be the best thing Sandler is attached to in near a decade?? They honestly retain the level of quality film to film. I love it all.

Iliza Shlesinger: Elder Millennial (2018): I cried I laughed so hard.

Paint Your Wagon (1969): Clint Eastwood singing!! Polyamorous cowboys!!

Mission: Impossible -- Fallout (2018): I want more action movies like this. The stunts and fights were just so beautiful. I can’t express how great this movie is and how well it works in the genre. I wish there were more like this.

Eighth Grade (2018): One of the more honest teenage-centric films about being a teenager in recent memory. So cathartic. So proud of Bo Burnham.

Grace and Frankie (Season 1): I literally love everyone more in this entire cast.

Grace and Frankie (Season 2): Powering through because I’m still waiting for my shows to come back and I’m watching it between episode breaks from Black Mirror to lighten my mood.

Dark Tourist (Season 1): It’s horrifying in about 40% of the cases for me; but god does it make me want to travel again.

The Meg (2018): Do you want to see Jason Statham fight a fuckign shark?! Of course you do. This was genuinely a fun film to watch.

BlacKkKlansman (2018): Spike Lee’s best in years. Beautiful filmmaking.

Crazy Rich Asians (2018): I loved this so goddamn much. This is what a good romantic comedy looks like. More like this, please, Hollywood. Romcoms can be good, respected, and worthy of praise if the effort is there!!

Black Mirror (Series 1): Well, shit. The first episode was overhyped to me but overall, I’m not disappointed in waiting so long to finally start this.

Black Mirror (Series 2): This show is fucking addictive.

Grace and Frankie (Season 3): This show is so pure and funny.

Black Mirror (Series 3): Contains my favorite episode I’ve ever watched of anything ever.

Black Mirror (Series 4): Give. Me. Mooooore!!!

Sylvia Plath: Inside The Bell Jar (2018): A short documentary about Plath’s life surrounding her writing of her famous book.

Destination Wedding (2018): Two of my favorite people act out what is quite possibly what would be designed to be my life were it suddenly a romantic comedy. Love is stupid! I’m a cynic and happy in my cynicism! ...BUUUUT.

Searching (2018): This is like a very well-done, well-acted, well-budgeted ID channel original movie. I had a great time watching it.

Grace and Frankie (Season 4): I hope I have as much game as Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin do when I’m their age.

Black Narcissus (1947): Absolutely beautiful technicolor and impending dread. But then BOOM! 1940s blackface.

Night of the Eagle (1962): Delightfully bizarre.

Slice (2018): Modern B movie. I loved the concept more than the execution: I loved the ensemble so much, but they somehow didn’t have enough of any of them in it.

Leave Her to Heaven (1945): The Original Amazing Amy!

A Simple Favor (2018): I am so excited about how unexpectedly fun, entertaining, and even compelling this film was.

Sharp Objects (Mini-Series): A tough, but addicting sit. I watched the entire series in one go.

Strong Enough to Break (2006): The behind the scenes documentary of Hanson being put on hold by their record company for a three-year span which lead to frustrations and the eventual formation of their independent company.

Bad Times at the El Royale (2018): This movie wasn’t bad. But I feel like I’ve seen and read better takes on this type of story/stories before.

The Bitter Tears of Petra von Kant (1972): Harold, they’re lesbians.

RBG (2018): An awe-inspiring individual receiving the documentary she deserves.

White Zombie (1932): Bela Lugosi puts a voodoo curse on Madge Bellamy.

Castle Rock (Season 1): I sincerely hope this is a sign of the times that the success of IT is going to bring about more and more Stephen King-inspired media.

The Haunting of Hill House (Season 1): Please please PLEASE don’t do a second season. This was so cathartic and splendid on its own.

The Mummy (1932): I grew up with the Brendan Fraser one, but this was just delightful.

The Curious Creations of Christine McConnell (Season 1): Quite possibly my favorite tv watch of the year.

Love, Gilda (2018): Documentary taking a look at the life of Gilda Radner with lots of lovely, private home videos. My favorites were of her and Gene together.

The Exorcist (1973): Yes. My first time watching it from beginning to end and in full. It’s an entertaining sit for the acting and practical effects!

Hush (2016): I already ranted about this on my Twitter, but god this was patronizing and horribly cast. It had such potential so it was vastly disappointing.

Dog Soldiers (2002): This is the perfect example of how if I’m told the ending, I just don’t find any enjoyment in watching it. Sigh.

Ghost Stories (2017): And this is the perfect example that if you overdo the slow burn, I’m going to pull up the film’s Wikipedia summary and spoil myself so I don’t have to sit through it anymore.

Fahrenheit 451 (2018): It’s too bad this wasn’t good. Lost a lot of its nuance.

Halloween (2018): THIS IS EVERYTHING I WANT OUT OF A HORROR MOVIE/SEQUEL. I LOVED EVERYTHING. I LOVED EVERYONE. I LOVE YOU SO DAMN MUCH, JAMIE LEE CURTIS.

Like Father (2018): The only good part was the acting in the scene between Kristen Bell and Kelsey Grammer at the waterfall. The rest was just an obvious 1990s script dusted off. Complete with minority stereotypes that have nothing better to do with their lives than to help the poor, messy white girl.

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018): I always get so, super excited when I find a good romantic comedy. This is wholesome, relies on clichés but makes them its own, has wonderful characters played by great actors, and I cannot wait for the sequel.

Solo (2018): Forgettable.

Suspiria (2018): It had a rocky start, but I believe this very well could make my end of the year list. I adored 94% of it.

Corrina, Corrina (1994): They should have leaned into the romance more.

Bonjour Tristesse (1958): GOD Jean Seberg was GORGEOUS.

Jane the Virgin (Season 1): I finally got spoiled by something pretty big, so I gave up not searching the tags for this show and putting these out of sequence -- I love this show. It’s right up there for me with Parks and Recreation, The Office, Parks and Recreation, and Brooklyn Nine-Nine. There is no character I dislike unless specifically, unequivocally written for me to. It’s so engaging and charming and hits all of my requisites to be loyal to a show ‘til the end.

Jane the Virgin (Season 2): Team Michael and trying to catch up before the final season premieres.

Nailed It! Holiday! (2018): God I’m crying with laughter. Nicole Byer should be so much more famous.

Jane the Virgin (Season 3): Almost caught up and loving it!

On the Basis of Sex (2018): My favorite movie to see on Christmas. Well acted. Well paced. Loved RBG’s cameo at the end. I think it was a great depiction.

Mary Poppins Returns (2018): It was fun in the moment, but the more I sit with it, the less I remember of this movie -- much like the songs as soon as the next scene happened. It’s such a tall order to follow up Mary Poppins. Emily Blunt is dipped in gold as usual, but it’s sort of a middle tier installment in the new line of Disney remakes/reboots. Great dancing and spectacle. But just okay overall.

Creed II (2018): Now if you’re just gonna do the same thing over and over with new generations, this is how you do it.

Widows (2018): My last movie of the year. Such great performances. I wish there was more to see with the female cast -- this would have been great as a limited series (such as the one it’s based on).

2017 | 2016 | 2015 | 2014

#watch list

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furederiko · 7 years

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This week's Random-News-Digest comes a little early... because it feels appropriate somehow! PS: Is it because I won't be able to post a Kyuranger recap-view today? Perhaps... ^^;

Disney Live Action

There might be some backlash surrounding "Beauty and the Beast". With mixed reviews dividing critics, and the inevitable comparison to the animated classic that sounds rather... overly pessimistic (no kidding, like this thinkpiece for example), perhaps? Not to mention countries (like Russia, Malaysia, and others) flaming the movie's rating 'just because' of an LGBT character (lame excuse, huh?), eventhough the actual consensus is that the movie is nothing more than 'family friendly'. But that doesn't mean this remake is stopping anytime soon. In fact, prior to release last weekend, it was already tracking to a record breaking number, judging from the advance ticket sales. The remake has become the family film with the most pre-sale on Fandango. It has bested fellow Disney's titles "Finding Dory", and their Marvel Studios' "Captain America: Civil War" and "Avengers: Age of Ultron", placing it as a record breaking in the outlet's 17 years of history.

And the result? The opening weekend in North America has even leaped ahead the forecasted number of $120-140 million. It cleared out $63,8 million on Friday alone, thanks to a mighty $16.3 million received from Thursday-night preview. Giving the overall weekend result a heaping sum of $170 million! Successfully proving the House of Mouse's box office powerhouse status. It's a number that is more than their own "Finding Dory", that previously holds the record for PG title's opening weekend. And more than that, surpassing a certain dour DC Film of last year, setting up a new record for March opening. Similar success can be heard in the United Kingdom region, as the movie stands tall and proud with an 'A' Cinema Score (as of writing). According to reports, this movie appeals audience of cross-generations, particularly in the way the tougher and independent Emma Watson's Belle resonated with younger women. Other studios opted to avoid the movie, giving it a relatively free competition. Thus explaining why it's such a huge hit despite some negative backlashes. So have you seen the movie yourself? I'm going to... probably this week if not tomorrow *grins*.

In a rather disheartening news, we might want to enjoy all the glamour singing and dancing of "Beauty and the Beast" as much as we can. Why? Because we probably won't see much in "The Lion King", and likely won't get any in Disney's live action version of "Mulan" as well. Director Niki Caro said so in an interview with Moviefone (via Variety), though she noted that her children aren't pleased about it. That's a little disappointing, if you ask me. Because if there's one element Disney can highlight to separate it from those many other live action adaptations for Mulan (Remember, SONY is also producing one), is by turning it into a fullblown musical. Only Disney has songs in their version, and ones that are very memorable too to both fans and public. Instead, Caro's currently envisioning it as a "big, girly martial arts epic" that will be "extremely muscular and thrilling and entertaining and moving". Wait a sec... muscular? HUH? "Mulan" will arrive on November 2nd, 2018. I guess we'll have to wait and see how muscular and not musical it will be...

Disney Pixar

Last year, Disney Animation released two titles, while the Pixar division only had "Finding Dory". But this year, it's the other way around, because Pixar will be the one releasing two while Disney Animation is in fact sitting the year out. The first will be "Cars 3", a sequel that practically noone asked for... eventhough it has a high possibility to score big in the box office. But it's the other one that critics has been buzzing about. "Coco", a movie that will tell a journey about a young boy who journeys the Land of the Dead. A story inspired by Mexican festive "Day of the Dead".

The first teaser for "Coco" has been released, and looks like the critics are indeed on point. Easily reminding us of the critically acclaimed Oscar winning "Inside Out", this gorgeous looking trailer introduced the main star of the supernatural-themed movie, Miguel. The young aspiring musician is voiced by newcomer Anthony Gonzales, and along with his dog Dante, his character will team up with Hector the charming trickster, who is voiced by "Mozart of the Jungle" very own Gael García Bernal. Aside from the two leads, latino celebrities like Benjamin Bratt, Ana Ofelia Murguia, and Renée Victor also lend their voices as the deceased singer Ernesto de la Cruz, Coco's Mother, and Granny. Lee Unkrich and Adrian Molina are co directing, while Darla K. Anderson is producing.

The visual looks stunning, and the teaser alone is enough to make me feel all those melancholic goosebumps/feels. But I don't know about you, for some reason, I'm sensing interesting similiarities to Disney Animation's "Moana" on the main character. While on a certain extent, also Pixar's very own "The Good Dinosaur" that somehow failed to live up to many people's expectation. Suffice to say, this can be good or bad. The good news is, Unkrich and Anderson respectively directed and produced "Toy Story 3", which was by far still the best iteration of the franchise, and remains to be one of the most memorable animated movie of all time. That's a reassuring fact, but as always, we can't say anything until we see the movie with our very own eyes. Can't even tell why the movie is titled "Coco" as well, right? That's why we should plan ahead to catch it when it opens in November 22, 2017. Agree?

DC Films

As Ben Affleck opened up about the fact that he's been struggling with alcohol addiction and had just completed rehab, comes another not so surprising news. Script for "The Batman" that he has spent extra time developing with Geoff Johns, is being completely rewritten from scratch, following the announcement of Matt Reeves as the new director. With this in effect, the movie might not begin production until 2018, because Reeves' schedule is occupied with "War of the Planet of the Apes" until June.

It's unclear whether the new script will stick to or at least mirror the original plan or not, but this put the current casting report into an undeniably halt. Which means, yes, unless he shows up in this year's "Justice League", we can't really count on Joe Manganiello to show up as Deathstroke now (why not, go and play Kraven on Marvel then? *grins*). In fact, Reeves won't be meeting any talents until July. If you ask me, this is just another pessimistic indication that Affleck's role as Bruce Wayne might very well be numbered as well. Let's just hope this doesn't get into a weird loop. Unfortunately, with a series of non-stop drama to what seems to be the 'easiest' DC solo movie to pull off (due to the character's popularity and already massive fanbase), it's easy for fans to get negatively worked up about the movie, eh? So to those who are still insisting that there aren't any problems with DC Films? I sincerely offer you my condolences...

Meanwhile, the tentatively titled "Suicide Squad 2" has a writer in negotiation. Nope, not David Ayer, who is currently oversexualizi... er I mean, working on Margot Robbie's "Gotham City Sirens". This is a new writer, but not so new for Warner Bros. One that gave birth to that trepid-quality "The Legend of Tarzan", Adam Cozad. Yep, WB seems to LOVE running around in circles, huh? Appointing the same people over and over again, eventhough they honestly should have looked for better or more suitable ones for the job. No offense to Cozad, but while the Alexander Skarsgard-starring movie was indeed watchable, it was also (honest opinion)... NOT that great. Not just that, his "Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit" was equally... bland. So obviously, this does NOT inspire confidence to us all. But we really can't judge a movie by its screenwriter alone, can we? After all, it also depends on the director, whether he can realize it perfectly or even better on screen, or does the complete opposite instead. Things like the latter happens all the time, right? There were buzzes that WB wanted Mel Gibson, whose Oscar-nominated movie "Hacksaw Ridge" catapulted him back to the spotlight. Yes, his high profile would help the movie, but even that sounds like an uncertain prospect for now.

By the way, "Aquaman" has also been delayed for two months. To those who actually expected the movie to arrive earlier? Allow me to offer you another sincere condolences. The movie that was supposed to come out on October 5th, 2018 will now premiere on December 21st, 2018. It will now be swimming in the spot previously occupied by the also delayed "Avatar 2", which is arguably, a better release window. Looks like WB is back to being openly bullish though. Because it's making a direct challenge to SONY's Animated "Spider-Man" that will feature Miles Morales. This delay practically means that there might be a long 1 year gap for DC movies following this year's "Justice League". Or at least, that's the current situation. Why?

As a direct response to what's happening with "The Batman" and "Aquaman", looks like WB is actively pushing to... shoot one more title this year! Wait, what? Of course, the goal is obviously to have a second movie up next year. But is this a wise move? I'd argue that this is somewhat concerning, because we all know that rushing into things doesn't usually end up good. In fact, many seems to think the same way, that it's better for WB to take a back seat for a while and rethink their strategy before moving forward. I say, just give it a rest and be content with one title, will ya WB?!

Candidate titles for this rushed production include "Gotham City Sirens" that as far as I know is currently in writing process, "Suicide Squad 2" that we know has a writer in talks to work on it, "The Flash" that has no director and currently undergoing page-one rewrite as well, super director Doug Liman's "Dark Universe" that... I have nothing to say about because I couldn't care less, and "Green Lantern Corps" that is also being written. The good news is, WB is NOT insisting to have one ready if it's not up to standards. So if things doesn't go as plan, "Aquaman" might end up swimming solo to carry the DC flag for the year.

The bad news though? That new Squad or Lantern movie could potentially fill in the missing piece. How? Because apparently WB wants to hire David Goyer as the director to one! I don't know about you, but just the thought of the so-called 'DC architect' writing Lantern's script (alongside Justin Rhodes) alone is enough to make me worried. Lest we forget, the story of "Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice" originated from him! And how about "Blade: Trinity"? Not to mention this is the same guy who thought She-Hulk is a sexual object! But seriously, don't be surprised if WB does end up honoring him with the gig, especially judging from Goyer's long history with the studio. After all, like I said above, WB loves running around in circles... and falling into the same wormhole over and over again.

Spider-Man Universe

This one's intriguing, and a direct follow up to what happened in the previous category. As soon as WB pushed back "Aquaman", immediately SONY Pictures jumps in to venture and claim the open water. Yes, by placing "Venom" as the replacement title on October 5th, 2018. More comic book adaptation should make fans delighted with joy, especially Marvel's. Because remember, there's an 8-months Marvel gap between July 2018's "Ant-Man and the Wasp" and March 2019's "Captain Marvel". But I wonder if this... by all means, merely the studio's way to answer WB's bullish challenge? Hmmm...

The issue with this title however, has begun to rise up due to one particular concern: Will this movie be canon to this year's "Spider-Man: Homecoming"? I'd argue that it'll likely exist in a different universe than the one with Tom Holland's Peter Parker. Many seems to think that way, especially if we take note of the development news surrounding it. Which obviously means, it will NOT be part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Don't forget, a Spider-Verse scenario has totally been made possible now, thanks to "Doctor Strange"! But that didn't stop fans from getting, well, negatively concerned. Why? Because in the comics, Venom technically exists because of Spider-Man. A great amount of creative liberty will need to be taken for this movie to work in a world without the web-crawler. And that can be quite fatal in execution. On the opposite side, it has the potential to limit the Symbiote from being used in the MCU too. Which means, we will never see Holland's Parker dealing with the alien super villain! And even I, am not pleased about that...

Anyway, the movie is said to be using a freshly submitted script written by Scott Rosenberg and Jeff Pinkner, not the one written by Dante Harper. Avi Arad and Matt Tolmach, alongside Amy Pascal are producing. Alex Kurtzman was reported to be in charge for the directorial duty before, but this latest news confirmed that the movie doesn't have a director yet. Which means, Kurtzman is likely out of the picture. It's unclear what plot this movie will go through. Perhaps Venom will go straight into Agent Venom, thus he's always been a hero and never on the dark side? Or it will tell the story completely from a villain's point of view? It's anyone's guess, and we'll have to wait and find out. But with the movie arriving in just 19 months, I suspect more information will crawl to headlines really soon...

The Matrix

Do we even NEED a reboot for "The Matrix"? I'd argue NOT, but as long as it keeps the money going, Hollywood seems to think the opposite. In case you didn't get my point, yes, WB is currently in early stages to relaunch the 1999 franchise. Because their DC properties didn't sell as much as they hoped? I'm not surprised if that's one of the primary reason. Zak Penn, who did the first draft for "The Avengers", is currently in talks to write. Actor Michael B. Jordan is being mentioned as the potential lead, likely as a younger Morpheus who was originally played by Laurence Fishburn. Apparently no talks have been made though.

Interestingly, it's currently unclear if the Wachowskis sisters as the original visionary creators will be involved or not, because it's producer Joel Silver who approached WB with the project. Actor Keanu Reeves, who gained huge popularity thanks to the movie, had even stated that he would love to do another sequel or a reboot, ONLY if the Wachowskis are returning. Admittedly, its two direct sequels ("Matrix Reloaded" and "Matrix Revolutions") were not received at the same level, both critically and financially in the box office. But even so, Penn is playing coy but surprisingly optimistic about this movie. He even vaguely hinted about whether it's going to be a REMAKE, a REBOOT, or even pure RE-RELEASE. Remember, this is the guy who co-wrote "X-Men: The Last Stand"! So I think we should be a little cautious with his words...

With that said, regardless of whether it is the right or wrong thing to do, I'm sure we might be seeing another journey to the Matrix in the coming years. Why? Remember, this is the exact studio that produced "The Legend of Tarzan", eventhough we don't really need another one. One that has spin-offed "The Lord of the Rings" into not-one-but-THREE unnecessary chapters of "The Hobbits", and currently doing the same to "Harry Potter" with last November's release of "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them". So yeah, we WILL get another Matrix movie. You can count on it.

Marvel Studios

A sad news might be brewing over Marvel Studios as well last week. Or at least, a somewhat sad. Actor Chris Evans had an interview with Esquire recently about politics and others. When talks eventually hit upon his sore muscles, an after-effect generated through workout session obviously to prepare for "Avengers: Infinity War" (he starts filming in April), the outlet made a bold statement by writing "After that, no more red- white-and-blue costume for the thirty-five-year-old. He will have fulfilled his contract.". Of course, this put everyone into a quick frenzy. Many sites immediately interpreted that Evans would be putting down his Captain America role, after the concurrent Avengers production. Mind you, everyone's forgetting that Evans has had similar situation a few years ago when he said he wanted to focus on directing, which eventually forced him to backtrack a bit and debunked media's interpretations. Since I believe he didn't blatantly say with his own mouth that he won't play the role again to Esquire, I don't see why it's nothing but similar scenario of misunderstanding or quick assumptions.

On the other hand, he HAS been around since 2010, so it makes logical sense if he simply wants to 'move on'. Even Hugh Jackman has bid farewell to the Marvel character that made him a household name, right? Let's just treat this as if it's 'true' now, for the sake of conversation. If Evans DOES decide to not extend his contract, does this mean we might expect to see his Steve Rogers sacrificing himself for the greater good in one of these upcoming Avengers titles? Or... is this merely a huge red herring, considering Rogers HAD already put down his shield at the end of Civil War, thus Captain America is technically no more in the Marvel Cinematic Universe? If you ask me, Evans can always return in future movies but in a mentor figure or some sort that doesn't require action scenes (no need to workout) and can be filmed in a more lenient schedule. The same thing has happened with Robert Downey Jr., right? I don't see how Marvel Studios won't offer the same opportunity to Evans, whose trilogy by far remains to be the best one in the MCU. But worst case scenario, at least we can still see him as the character until 2019... *sigh*

Anyways, speaking of filming, apparently this concurrent production will take part in Old Town Edinburgh this week. Scotland's Cockburn Street, the Royal Mile, and Parliament Square are expected to be featured. Perhaps it's filling in for Nidavellir, home of Eitri the Dwarf King? According to the report, "dozens of A-listers" are expected to be present. Now this is... intriguing. Because as we already learned earlier, Evans will not join production until April. We can add to that, Jeremy Renner's Hawkeye and Elizabeth Olsen's Scarlet Witch, since both have also confirmed that they will start in April as well. So WHO are these A-listers, then? So far, we know Robert Downey Jr., Chris Pratt, as well as Peter Dinklage have all been involved from day one. Tom Holland was among them, but he should be doing reshoots for "Spider-Man: Homecoming" right now. The same with cast for the "Game of Thrones"-esque "Black Panther" which is filming in Atlanta and certain parts of South Korea. Brie Larson (assuming Carol Danvers is in one of the movies) is promoting "Kong: Skull Island" around the world with Tom Hiddleston and Samuel L. Jackson. The latter has even vaguely say he's not involved in these movies. The only characters who seems to be unheard of is the cast members of "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2"! Does this mean, it's them who are expected to show up?

Speaking of "Guardians", James Gunn recently confirmed on The Adam Carolla Show, that actor Sylvester Stallone will play a significant role in his upcoming movie. And he's not alone, because his character will be related to another character, who is played by Smallville's alumn Michael Rosenbaum. Thanks to that, the actor who is famously known for his portrayal of Lex Luthor in the TV series, has come out and admit the fact himself. Nature of Rosenbaum's so-called major role, as well as Stallone's, remains a huge mystery for now. Gunn specifically said "We do have a couple of characters who are very important to the Marvel universe, who are going to make their debut in Guardians Vol. 2, that people don’t know about". Emphasis on the words: 'Very Important', 'Debut', and 'Don't Know About'. The first two is obviously meant to tease future developments in the cosmic side of MCU, but the third is the most curious. Considering Gunn has the penchant for including obscure character like Chris Sullivan's Taserface, and also reimagining one like Pom Klementief's Mantis, Stallone and Rosenbaum could practically play... anyone! Who do you think they are playing? Richard Rider and Sam Alexander? Adam effing Warlock, which would be a fantastic casting? Or Mar-Vell and his son Genis-Vell as a lead up towards "Captain Marvel"? Yondu's comic book team mates StarHawk and Martinex? ...Or someone else? Speculate on!

Marvel TV

First Black Bolt. Second Crystal. Who's next to be spotted by public eye? Medusa, Auran, and Karnak. Yep, Serinda Swan's, Sonya Balmore's and Ken Leung's character have been seen during the production. Thanks to Reel News Hawaii, of course. Unlike Black Bolt or Crystal though, these three didn't look as clear. All we can see is Medusa's long red hair and her purple dress, while Karnak's possibly hidden in a green hoodie, a costume that's probably inspired by his comics version's latest run. Auran looks very vague, but doesn't resemble her comic book counterpart. Maximus is supposed to be there too, but I honestly can't see him anywhere. Is he supposedly hiding? Or that guy with the hood is Maximus all along? Hmmm...

They are filming a rather intriguing scene as well. This one shows the black-suited King and red-haired Queen, escorted by Auran in their front, walking through a line of... humans. A Royal Entrance? But who are those humans wearing gray-colored garbs? Just a wild personal guess, but quite possibly they are people who is lining up for Terrigenesis. Because that's the way it is in the comics, right? Only people given permission by the Royal Family can unlock their true Inhumans nature via the Terrigen Crystal. Then again, judging from the supposedly huge fountain, it might simply be a scene with the King and Queen taking a leisure stroll in the courtyards, addressing citizens. There aren't any more information about the scene, but it's nice to see more cast being caught by candid cameras. I wonder if we'll see Gorgon and Triton next, then?

X-Men Universe

I honestly can't decide if this should go to a 'Marvel TV' category or not, but here's a good news from the other TV side of Marvel. "Legion" has been renewed to Season 2. Yes, FX has renewed the Noah Hawley's series, which shouldn't be a surprise considering the strong reviews by both critics and audience. FX Programming President Eric Schrier even called it as "stunning achievement" because it's a "wholly original take on the superhero genre". He meant that for a TV series, perhaps? After all, "Guardians of the Galaxy" already did an original take on the genre before this. Schrier's words also confirmed that Hawley will be returning for the second season, but didn't confirm when it will be available. Easy money is that it will be released on Winter this year, or even the start of next year.

I haven't personally seen it myself, so I can't tell whether it's really that good or not. After all, just knowing that this show exists in that messy FOX's X-Men Universe is enough to dissolve any interest I have for it into thin air. Which seems to be the case with other audience too, so I'm not alone. But you know what? This renewal has definitely pigued my curiosity. Many media has also branded this show as 'unique', 'weird', and the likes. And sometimes we need this kind of materials as part of our straightforward lifes. Beside, it's only 8 episodes, so it doesn't demand much of your time. So yeah, I'll be checking it out real soon. Though I'm not sure when. LOL.

Netflix

Things are certainly looking... BAD for Marvel's "Iron Fist". While I currently reserve my judgement until I've seen the series completely (not just one or two episodes), knowing that it's sitting at a 16% score on Rotten Tomatoes is undeniably disheartening. I mean, eventhough I rarely check out the site's TV section, this is probably those few moments where I've stumbled on a TV series being awarded THAT bad in the critics' aggregator site. Interestingly, there's a contrast in public's reception. Marvel fans seems to enjoy it, while others, particularly more professional critics (who are equally Marvel fans, not haters), do NOT. This is concerning, because that means the series has divided people in two. I can't bear to imagine how general audience would response to it! But is this a mixed review then? Not necessarily. It's a situation that easily reminds me of a particular movie that was released March last year. Yes, "Batman v Superman"! "Iron Fist" has a much lower score than that boring movie (that ended with 27%) too, so imagine the irony. Hold on, let me correct that. At least audience are liking this show, as evident by the high score (86% with an average rating of 4.3 out 5, while "BvS" only gets 63%). That part CAN be called as ironic.

For the time being, as in just a few days following its release, it's safe to say that the much anticipated series has succeeded to become the most critically-panned live action adaptations that Marvel ever produced. Again, I don't know if such sentiment will last or not, or that people might appreciate it more after seeing the entire series. Moreso, whether this trepid reception will have a negative ripple effect, affecting the upcoming crossover Marvel's "The Defenders" that had just wrapped production. We can't really judge anything, because unexpected things can happen. As I said, I haven't seen this debut season, but has already begun lowering my expectation. I used to be looking forward for this particular title so much, and I honestly don't want to get all disappointed about it. So imagine the anxiety I'm feeling just to watch it.

With that said, we all need to remember one important thing: Don't ever think about blaming the lackluster quality on Finn Jones. He's only an actor, not directly involved in the story and all, and even if he has given great efforts, there's no helping when the material is already weak. If you want an actual scape goat, then look no further but to Marvel TV President Jeph Loeb (who allows too many productions happening, eventhough I don't think his division have yet the resource and proper control to do so), and also showrunner Scott Buck (who has the authority to whip this show into something better, at least critically speaking). Now let's just hope the combo won't be messing up with "The Inhumans" as well. Otherwise I might be really pissed...

The King of Fighters

2nd DLC character for "The King of Fighters XIV" has been announced! This news caught me off guard, since I didn't expect it to arrive this soon, though probably owing that to the way "Street Fighter V" is dishing out its 2nd season DLCs. But never mind that, because my speculation was correct. That crouching tall guy is indeed Ryuji Yamazaki. Just like Whip, the genuinely creepy-crazy deranged-brute feels like a natural inclusion to the roster, due to his, uhm, unique berserking fighting style. I'm not a fan of his character, but I AM a fan of him as a fighter. Because maaan, Yamazaki can sure pack a scary punch, and such a fun one to main with. Intriguingly, his official reveal video somehow hints that he might be teaming up with Whip after all, no matter how odd that might sound (Yamazaki is a known criminal, while Whip works for a government-sanctioned task force).

And also, as I said, there are 4 and not just 3 characters. Just look at that updated silhouette. That alone is solid proof that we're going to get 2 more along the way. Well... unless the 3rd character is a four legged Centaur, of course. Now the question is, WHO will these two characters be? I've speculated the left one due to the hair style. But the right one? Assuming it's not a newly designed character, nor a crossover from other franchise, that fighting stance easily reminds me of the mercenary agent Vanessa who debuted on "The King of Fighters '99 Evolution", Malin who debuted on "The King of Fighters 2003", or Psycho Soldier's latest member Momoko who debuted on "The King of Fighters XI". Neither has been playable again since "The King of Fighters XII", but have shown up in the Team endings for "The Women Fighters" (just like Blue Mary) and "Psycho Soldier" (alongside Bao). The speculation gets narrowed down, once you start connecting them into a team alongside Whip and Yamazaki. Yes, only Vanessa make sense in this theory. What do you think?

For now, Yamazaki doesn't have an official release date yet. But using Whip as the example, I'm sure we'll hear more about that in the near future. In fact, we might need to prepare ourselves for the confirmation of the 3rd character, very soon...

Nintendo

I'm going to close this week's (and probably month?) R-N-D with a quick news from Nintendo. According to Wall Street Journal, the company is planning to double the production of their new hybrid game console, the Nintendo Switch. Manufacturers might produce 16 millions and not 8 as planned. This will be effective in the coming fiscal year that begins on April 2017, and ends on March 2018. This news didn't come officially from the Japanese company, which until now remains silent about it. But even if it's just a speculation, it certainly makes a lot of sense. There's a huge popular demand of the console in the market. Especially if we factor the massive popularity of "Zelda: Breath of the Wild" that has taken the world by storm, and the possibility of "Pokemon Stars" becoming a reality. Many gamers who are currently holding back, would at least be tempted to purchase, as more fresh titles coming in the next months. Some have even stated that they are only waiting for the right software to purchase one.

Speaking of games, looking forward to play "Sonic Mania" on your newly purchased Switch? Well, you're going to have to wait a wee bit longer. The game has been delayed to Summer, with SEGA officially stated that it was intentional to ensure the quality of the product. The company announced this on the Sonic the Hedgehog's SXSW 2017 panel, while previewing a new stage for the game, the >"Flying Battery Zone". At the same time, the company also revealed that Project Sonic 2017 has been officially titled as "Sonic Force". To be honest, before seeing the trailer again, I've completely forgotten that it works as some sort of sequel to "Sonic Generations". Which means, we're going to play two versions of Sonics, modern and classic. In fact, Sonic Team Studio head Takashi Iizuka even described it as "an evolution of Sonic Colors and Sonic Generations". Not just that, apparently there will be an additional 'style' that will be revealed in the coming months. A short gameplay footage featuring a level that focuses on modern Sonic has been made available for public. That DOES remind you of "Sonic Generations", huh?

Interested about these games? I know I do, eventhough I haven't managed to get the hybrid console. Then again, now that Nintendo is increasing the production, the likelihood of the product running out on stores is now close to none. At least until March 2018. So plenty of time for you and me to continue saving and get one for the Summer or Holidays, right? Good for us... *grins*

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