#also that's totally a dialogue they'd have

[acomumsb]

That twitter trend of drawing your comfort characters but make it extra by adding dialogue....

[unproduciblesmackdown]

brian colson is a halloween friend; so just a normal friend with a little twist: when one performance of the phantom where he gets to go on as the phantom is over he ceases to exist

[ghostboneswrites2]

Hello! First of all I love your stories so much💖 and hope you're having an amazing day. I wanted to ask if you could write something with this, feel free to decline if not 😊

I have this idea of Daryl and the reader being a thing before the apocalypse, Merle hated his girl and left her closed in a place with loads of walkers around without D knowing(something similar to what happens to him in Atlanta) but she manages to escape and survive thanks to what D has taught her. The group at the prison helps her after finding her tiredly fighting some walkers close to there. D and M are in the woods and the scene of D's back comes and says that the reader was his saviour for staying with him even after that and that they were planning to escape and get married. They arrive at the prison and she punches M in the face and well says to D everything that happened. M gets to see how D gets around Reader and before leaving the prison says to reader to take care of his bro and "sacrifices" himself going to fight the governor, D and r found him already turned and they both cry, promising to take care of each other.

I love the detail here! Plz forgive me, this turned out way longer than I intended. Nearly 5k words! I hope I did your vision justice! It was getting pretty long so I had to cut and tweak some things but I tried make sure to include all your key details!

Separated

Summary: You and the Dixon brothers are on your way to Atlanta to find that refugee center you heard about on the radio before they stopped broadcasting. When your journey is interrupted and you and Merle get separated from Daryl, Merle impulsively leaves you trapped and stranded in fear Daryl would choose you over him if it came down to it. When you're reunited with your love, you face tragedy together.

Note: There are some time jumps here. They're labeled to hopefully avoid confusion. Also some canon dialogue <3 A lot of your backstory with the Dixons wasn't totally necessary but I was trying to create a ~vibe~

18+ MDNI || Warnings: profanity, TWD typical violence, canonically moral deficient character, death and dying, mentions of alcohol and pills

the way he cowers and shrinks away from Merle's walker makes me cry every time omg

Then:

        Things went south so fast. The three of you were traveling relatively trouble free. The guys could hunt, and Daryl had taught you a thing or two yourself, so food was never an issue. Finding water wasn't as hard as it would be later down the line. All the supplies left in homes and stores hadn't been completely ransacked yet. It was the beginning of the outbreak. With Merle's truck, Daryl's bike, some weapons and supplies, and the general survival skills you were learning from the two of them, fleeing to the city to find that refugee center had been as easy as something like that could get, until the water ran out.

        It should have been an easy pit stop. The town was small. Your grandma would have called it a 'blink of an eye' town, because when you passed towns so small on a trip they'd fly by in the blink of an eye. There was a general store right on the corner, so that was where you decided to start the search. Just some water, maybe first aide and booze. Who knew what you'd find? The truck was parked right outside the store. Daryl wanted a smoke. He said he'd meet you and Merle inside. Then the growls started. Daryl could hear them from a distance, so he knew it was a big herd. 

        None of you had had much trouble with the big groups of them yet. So far, maybe ten or fifteen at a time. You killed the ones that got too close and fled as fast as you could. No unnecessary risks, that was the rule. Merle always said if he died it would be from something cool like a police shootout or a bank robbery. He refused to go out the way those things took people out. Daryl always said he'd shoot himself before he let them get the chance to eat him alive or turn him. He'd never be a walking corpse. You? Daryl always said you were too pretty to die. You just said you were too much of a badass. 

        Daryl popped his head inside. There were only two freaks inside and they were easy enough to take down, so you and Merle were just looting by then. 

        "Incoming. We gotta head out." Daryl announced.

        "Just a second, baby brother. I'm lookin' for the whiskey." Merle said.

        "Ain't got time for that. I can hear 'em comin'." Daryl insisted. You zipped your bag up with everything you had found so far, including the water, and walked toward your broody boyfriend with a half smile.

        "There were exactly three waters left. How's that for good luck?" You said to him.

        "Why'd'ya think I keep ya 'round? You're my good luck charm." He winked before slapping the window to get Merle's attention. "C'mon, man! No unnecessary risks!" 

        You slipped past Daryl and stepped outside, throwing your bag in the bed of the truck. You could hear the moans and groans. You turned your attention in the direction of the noise and you could see the heads peeking up over a hill. Your eyes grew wide as your heart sped up.

        "Uh... Guys? We gotta go!" You called out, not taking your eyes off the herd that was slowly coming into view. You had never seen so many of them.

        "Merle, come on!" Daryl was growing more aggravated and impatient as the seconds ticked by. 

         Daryl jogged back to the truck just as Merle was emerging from the little shop. With no sense of urgency in sight, Merle just looked over the bottle of Jack he had found as he casually strolled over to the driver's side. You scooted into the middle seat and Daryl hopped in the passenger spot and slammed his door shut.

        "Hurry up, man!" Daryl urged his brother. 

        Merle grumbled some smartass remark about being afraid of 'a few dead bodies' as he cranked the engine and hit the gas, speeding away.

Now

        You were so sore. So exhausted. So ready to just give in, but you couldn't. You refused to give in that easy. Someone told you once that you were too pretty to die, and you took that to heart. 

        You kept swinging your machete at them as they closed in on you. You were cornered between a building and a fence. What the hell were you supposed to do now? You had no idea, but you were determined to figure it out. You had gotten yourself out of worse situations.

Then

        "Gon' have to circle back somewhere to get back on the interstate." Daryl informed, looking at the map.

        "I don't need a second driver." Merle waved him off. You rolled your eyes. You were glad to be surviving something so scary with the man you loved, but the third wheel was getting hard to live with. 

        "Whatever, man." Daryl huffed, turning his attention to the window instead of paying his brother any mind.

        You kept your attention on the rearview mirror, relieved to see the herd fading away as the truck rolled forward. Those things really freaked you out, especially when they were all together like that, stumbling and bumping into each other carelessly.

        A mile or so down the road, you heard a loud pop and the engine started to sputter. "Ah, hell." Merle sighed. 

        "What?" Daryl asked, leaning forward to see his brother.

        "Gas is empty." He replied, looking down at the dash.

        "Are you kiddin' me?" Daryl asked incredulously. "Ya didn't think to check before?"

        "I did check, but I thought we'd be back on the interstate by now. Plenty o' cars to siphon a li'l fuel from back there." Merle defended. 

        "Hate to raise the stakes even higher here," you interrupted. "But, that herd is gonna be catching up soon, so we need to figure something out."

        Merle shot you a sideways glance. If it was up to him he would have just left you back home and fled with his brother, but Daryl insisted on picking you up. Now, he couldn't even hop on his bike with his baby brother and sail away to safety because there wouldn't be room for you and Daryl would never agree. He wasn't the greatest brother, but he wouldn't leave Daryl behind either.

        "Wha's that?" Daryl suddenly asked, breaking the tense silence as the three of you considered your pressing circumstances.

        You both turned your attention to what the archer was pointing out. Just beyond the treeline was a small wooden structure. Some kind of shack. 

        "A house?" You wondered.

        "Nah. Shed or somethin'." Daryl figured.

        "Maybe we can hide there and let the freaks pass by. They're pretty stupid, right? Maybe they'll just keep going straight if we don't draw their attention." You suggested.

        "Won't even know we're there." Daryl agreed.

        "Well then let's quit the yappin' and get over there before they see us." Merle drawled as he pushed his door open. Daryl got out and offered you a hand while you stepped out of the truck. Your posh parents never liked him much, but they never saw what a gentlemen he could really be. You had cut ties with them long before the dead started roaming.

Now

        You were beginning to think maybe this was really the end. It really wasn't that many. Seven at the most. But you were just so tired. You lazily swung the blade into a skull and struggled to yank it out. You had climbed on top of a dumpster, so at least they couldn't reach you, but you were still trapped until you could get rid of them. You wondered how stupid it would be to take a quick nap. Surely one of them would reach you eventually. You decided against it.

Then

        Without any spoken agreement, the three of you grabbed any supplies you thought you'd need and jogged over to the dilapidated structure. It was vacant and smelled faintly of mildew and rotting wood.

        "It'll do." Merle sighed.

        "Do? This is a mansion compared to the truck." You remarked, stretching your body. You were stiff from so much sitting. 

        The three of you watched silently through the cracks in the door as the herd stumbled by with their swinging arms and dragging feet. The smell was something you couldn't get used to, and with so many of them, it was strong. You gagged quietly. Daryl rubbed a hand up and down your back when he noticed.

        The three of you really thought you were fine. You outsmarted the dead ones and soon you'd be on your way again. You had never been so wrong about anything before.

        Merle got a little too comfortable given the situation. He went and dug through his duffel for his whiskey. He had been drinking so much you wondered if his piss could get someone drunk. The entire time you'd been on the road with them, the man had managed to find liquor everywhere he went. There wasn't a single day he hadn't been drunk, and if there had been, you were sure he'd have a stash of pills to keep him feeling nice. You guessed you couldn't blame him. Shit was rough nowadays.

        When Merle found the bottle he dropped it and it shattered. After giving Merle a look that could kill, Daryl turned his attention back to the herd. A few of them were veering off. The sound had caught their attention. Only a few heard, but as they started walking toward the shed, more followed. 

        "Shit." You whispered. 

        "This place ain't gon' hold." Daryl added.

        "My Jack." Merle complained.

        "Hell with your booze, man." Daryl scoffed as some of the dead started to claw at the outside. "We gotta go."

        "Go  where, baby brother?" 

        "We could take down the few that are at the door and break for the truck."  You thought.

        "Nah, too many on the road. But we can run off that way." Daryl nodded toward the back of the shed.

        "Okay." You nodded, throwing your bag over your shoulders and readying your machete.

        Merle haphazardly hooked his duffel and cocked his pistol.

        "No guns. Too loud." Daryl reminded him.

        "Relax. It's a last resort." Daryl shrugged, tucking it unto his belt. With a nod to each other, you and Daryl kicked the door open and took down two walkers. Merle was right behind you.

Now

        Tires screeched from ahead. You looked up and saw a car. A woman and a man got out of the vehicle and rushed over, taking down the walkers with ease and precision. Gee, you thought. Bet it's nice to have someone that has your back. 

        The couple walked over to the dumpster and eyed you cautiously, glancing at each other. "You okay?" The man finally asked.

        "Could use an espresso." You quipped.

        "What's your name?" The woman inquired.

        "(Y/N)." 

        "I'm Maggie." She introduced. "This is Glenn."

Then

        Only using your energy on the ones closest, the three of you darted deeper into the woods. They followed, because they saw you and now they wanted you. 

        Only, there were more in the trees than you anticipated. Usually the woods were pretty clear save for a few stragglers here and there. These woods were not. You wondered why, but there was no time to guess. You just kept running.

        Eventually there were just too many. Daryl got pushed further and further away as more and more emerged from behind trees. When you realized you couldn't see him anymore you called for him.

        "Quiet girl! He can take care o' himself. You're drawin' more to us!" Merle hissed. You reluctantly obeyed, because you knew he was right. Daryl probably evaded them somewhere and would meet you both back at the truck.

        When the running began to take its toll and your chest started to burn, you put more of a focus on searching for somewhere to hide. To your advantage, there was an overgrown cabin not too far ahead. erle peered over his shoulder.

        "We're losin' em. Let's get inside an' wait 'em out. Daryl 'll meet us back at the truck when it passes." He strategized well for his inebriated state.

        "Okay." You breathed, just grateful for a chance to stop and rest.

Now

        "Need some help? Maggie asked, offering you a hand as you slid off the edge of the dumpster.

        "Thanks." 

        "You have a group?" Glenn wondered. Maggie gave him an unsure look. You noticed Glenn looked pretty beat up. You wondered what happened.

        "No." You said lowly. You did have people, but you were left behind. 

        "Well.." Glenn trailed off, looking to Maggie as if to silently ask what they should do with you.

        "You can come with us. Can't promise you can stay though." She spoke up.

Then

        The cabin had been vacant for a long time. Some of the old dusty furniture remained so you both sat down and just breathed. You handed him a water bottle and sipped on one for yourself while you waited. It felt like hours had gone by. It had grown dark out. Merle peeked out of the window. There were a bunch of them all around, but they had no idea the two of you were in there. It seemed like they lost their lead and just stopped, staggering around in the same spot. 

         "There's a lot of 'em, but they ain't payin' attention. I say we leave out the back an' sneak back toward the road." Merle suggested. You thought for a second. 

        "Yeah," you nodded. "Okay." 

        Just as you passed it by, Merle suddenly shoved you in a closet and shut it behind you.

        "Merle, what the fuck, man?" You complained, banging at the door. It wouldn't budge.

        "Quiet, now. Don't wanna draw in any unwanted attention." He taunted. You sighed.

        "Merle, c'mon this isn't funny."

        "'Fraid it ain't a joke, Darlin. Truck's outta gas an' my bike only carries two."

        Your heart sank.

        "Daryl isn't just gonna leave without me." You reminded.

        "He won't have a choice when I tell 'im 'bout how them dead ones took ya down." He mockingly lamented. "It was just terrible, ya know? They grabbed her. I couldn't pull'er away in time before they got to chompin'."

        "The hell, dude? Don't do this!" You begged, banging at the door again.

        "Look. Ya got your bag in there, got your weapon, got your wits. You'll figure it out." He reasoned.

        "Not if I'm trapped!" 

        "I'm sure you can kick that slab o' wood down if ya try hard enough." He was getting further away by the sounds of it. "Jus' try not to be too loud. Don't want 'em hearin' ya."

Now

        "I'd be grateful." You admitted. "I haven't had anywhere to rest in a while. I have some medicine here I'd be happy to share in exchange for a good night of rest."

        "Watcha got?" Maggie asked.

        "We actually came out her for medicine." Glenn added.

        "Some antibiotics, some Benadryl, some stuff for pain. Oh, and I found an EpiPen. I'm allergic to bees, so." 

        "Antibiotics is what we need." Maggie said.

        "Yeah, whatever you need. Thanks again."

        They still hit a few stores while you rested in their car. Maggie made sure to grab the keys just in case you tried anything, but you were too tired to try even if you wanted to. When they had found everything they thought they'd need for the prison, they drove you back. Rick and the others were apprehensive, with everything happening with Woodbury and recently losing one of their best fighters. Daryl was also their hunter, their tracker, and generally someone they all relied on.

        You explained to them that you were traveling with some people to Atlanta but they left you behind and you'd been on the move ever since. "I'd be glad to sleep outside if it makes you more comfortable." You said to Rick. "I can leave in the morning. I just really need somewhere to sleep."

        Rick studied you for an uncomfortably long time before he asked, "How many walkers have you killed?"

        "Walkers?" You asked. You'd never heard that term before.

        "The dead." He clarified.

        "Oh... I don't know, really. A lot."

        "How many people have you killed?"

        "None." You said honestly. "But there is one person I might beat to death if I ever see him again."

        "Why?" 

        "He left me stranded, surrounded by the dead."

The Next Morning

        Rick let you sleep in a separate cell block. He let you know you'd be locked in for a the night but that he'd come get you in the morning to talk. You didn't really care. You just wanted rest. 

        When he came and got you that morning you were offered a warm meal, which you gladly accepted. You made sure to give them the majority of your antibiotics as a show of gratitude. 

        Meanwhile, deep in the woods, two rednecks were hashing it out. Name calling, shoving, whatever it took to unleash all the pent up frustrations they had between each other.

        See, in all that time Daryl spent with Rick and their group, he began to find a side of himself that was suppressed with his brother around. The only person to ever make him believe he could be good was taken from him before they made it to the quarry. Merle, on the other hand, only represented everything that Daryl was trying to put behind him. Merle was capable of hurting good people or looking the other way instead of helping someone in danger. If only Daryl knew some of the things Merle had really done.

        "There was a baby!" Daryl defended as Merle laid into him for risking his own ass to save a family on a bridge.

        "Oh, otherwise ya woulda just left 'em to the biters." Merle retorted.

        "Man, I went back for ya. Ya weren't there. I didn't cut off your hand, neither. You did that. Way before they locked you up on that roof. You asked for it."

        "You know what's funny to me? Hmm? You and Sheriff Rick are like this now." Merle said, locking his two fingers together. "I bet you a penny and a fiddle o' gold you never told him that we were plannin' on robbin' that camp blind."

        "It didn't happen!" Daryl snapped. "And we woulda never had to if ya didn't let the truck run out o' gas! And my girlfriend wouldn't be dead!" Daryl's chest was heaving as his eyes stung, threatening to spill fresh tears at the thought of her. Merles eyes flashed something Daryl couldn't quite decipher.

        "It didn't happen 'cause I wasn't there to help you!"

        "When we were kids.. Who left who then, huh?" Daryl frowned.

        "What? Huh, is that why I lost my hand?" Merle rasped.

        "You lost your hand 'cause you're a simple-minded piece o' shit!" 

        "Yeah?!" Merle lost it. He grabbed Daryl by the shirt. "You don't know!"

        When Daryl fell to the ground, his shirt ripped down the back. Merle froze. His chest felt tight as he stared down at the gruesome scene left on Daryl's back from years of abuse at the hands of their father. "I -- I didn't know --"

        "Yeah, ya did." Daryl's voice cracked as he pushed himself to his feet. "That's why ya left. But (Y/N), she never left. She was always there, man. Always. She was the one who saved me. She protected me. Not you, man!" He wiped a tear as he took a breath between heated words. "We were gon' run away, gon' get the hell outta that town and get married, maybe start a family. I don't know, and I never will thanks to you!"

        He did blame his big brother for the loss of his love, but not in the way that he should have. He blamed Merle's clumsiness, carelessness, and negligence. He had no idea that Merle trapped and abandoned you.

Later

        Daryl went back home to the prison. Merle couldn't stand too watch him leave, so he followed. Guilt was starting to eat at him, gnawing away at his insides, mouthfuls at a time. He almost felt nauseous hearing about you and what Daryl had planned with you. He tried to imagine his battered baby brother in a nice little house with a wife and kids. Hell, he even tried to picture it for himself, but the image wasn't clear enough for it to seem possible. All either of them had ever known was violence and loneliness. That was why they needed each other. That was why he had to get rid of you.

        You had just finished a tour of the prison. Rick told you that you could stay for a while, but he didn't know if he trusted you as one of them. He shared a little about a rival community with a crazed leader. You understood. You never expected to stick around, even if they offered. You couldn't see yourself trusting anyone after what Merle did to you.

        You were sitting in the cell you slept in the night before, sharpening your machete and thinking about the things that you couldn't change. You heard distant voices echoing from the other block. It was some sort of confrontation from the sound of it. You snuck over to the cellblock where everyone stayed and peeked around a corner. Glenn and Maggie were blocking most of your view, but they seemed to be the most pissed off. Rick was off to the side trying to mediate.

        "You can't let him stay. Not after what he did to Glenn!" Maggie demanded.

        "He goes, I go."

        You stopped breathing. That voice sent chills up and down your spine. 

        "Okay." Rick held his hand out, attempting to set forward a solution but the room fell silent as you stepped into view. Merle noticed you first. He looked like he had seen a ghost.

        "Well, I'll shit bricks." He murmured in disbelief.

        "(Y/N)?" Daryl breathed, almost inaudibly. Your eyes were welling with tears as you stood just feet away from the man you loved.

        Daryl dropped everything and ran over to you, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you up. You couldn't even hug him back because your arms were trapped under his. All you could do was let out something between a giggle and sob.

        "Daryl." You whispered. Your body felt so perfect against his, just how he remembered. Then, it dawned on him. He set you down and turned to look at Merle, a blend of betrayal and fury flooding his eyes.

        "You said she was dead!" Daryl growled. 

        As everyone around you watched the scene before them unfold, they felt clueless. Daryl had never mentioned you because it hurt too much to bring up. Your feet began moving before you could even think. One second you were standing beside Daryl, then you blinked and you were inches away from Merle, rearing your fist back and striking his jaw with a force you didn't even know you were capable of. Merle stumbled and dropped to the ground holding his face. He moved his jaw around a little before he glared up at you.

        "Okay. I deserved that." He accepted.

        "Yeah, you did." You spat. 

        "Hold on. Someone care to explain what the hell's goin' on here?" Rick spoke out.

        You turned to Daryl, as if it was he who answered the question. You didn't care to share with the class. Daryl needed to know.

        "When we got separated in the woods.." You began, taking a breath. "Merle and I found a cabin. We hid there, waited for shit to blow over, and we were supposed to meet you back at the ruck. Merle figured you'd wait for us there."

        "And I left her." Merle admitted from behind you. You glanced back at him momentarily. You were surprised at his accountability.

        "In a closet." You added spitefully. "The place was surrounded. Took me forever to get out of there and even longer to get back to the truck. By then, you two and the bike were gone."

        Daryl's nostrils flared with rage. His fists were balled up so tight his knuckles turned white against his tan skin. His shoulders rose and fell with each heavy breath he took. He was so pissed, so hurt. The weight of the revelation had weighed him down so heavily that his boots felt like they were nailed to the ground. Otherwise, he would have lunged at his brother and beaten the teeth out of his skull. All that time Daryl spent in pain, mourning the loss of someone who wasn't gone. All because his brother didn't like her.

        "Why." Daryl growled.

        "The bike only fit two, man." 

That Night

        You sighed contently as Daryl traced little circles over your shoulder. Once it was decided to leave Merle in a cell, and everything had been explained to Rick, you and Daryl retired to his own cell to enjoy your reunion in private. He was laying on the bottom bunk, one foot crossed over the other as he stared into space, enjoying the feeling of your head on his chest and your arm and leg draped over him.

        "I missed you." You whispered, breaking a long, comfortable silence.

        "Mm." He hummed. "I mourned ya every day. I shoulda gone back."

        "Don't do that. We're together now. Don't blame yourself." 

        "Shoulda never believed 'im. I knew how jealous he was. Thought he'd get over it." He confessed. You smiled softly and nuzzled up closer, taking in a whiff of his sweaty scent.

        "Me too." You agreed. "But he left me with my bag. He didn't want me to die. I think he was afraid if only two of us fit on the bike you'd leave him behind."

        "Nah. Woulda had your sweet ass ride the handlebars." He teased, twirling a finger through your hair. You giggled, then you paused.

        "Wow. I think that's the first time I've laughed since we got split up." You realized.

        "Sure ya didn't find no boyfriends along the way?" He joked. He always did that when things felt too heavy between the two of you. You rolled your eyes, not that he could see it.

        "You say that like I've had a lot of those. We've been together since we were like, twenty." You laughed.

The Next Day

        Merle and Michonne had disappeared. You learned that the leader of the opposing community -- the Governor, as they called him -- wanted Michonne in exchange for peace, but Rick refused. Merle had likely taken her as a peace offering since he knew what the Governor was capable of.

        You and Daryl left to search for him. He took you to a spot where they had previously convened for negotiation. The two of you did a brief sweep of the area before stumbling across some walkers. You each took one down after another until you were left with only one. You froze when you registered what -- or who -- it was. 

        A sob immediately escaped Daryl as he fell backwards. You blinked back tears as you crouched down behind him and pulled him against you, rocking gently as Daryl wept. Merle's dead body clumsily pushed itself off the ground and onto its feet. You stood first, hoping to put it down before Daryl had to do it himself, but Daryl was quick to push past you. He violently shoved the corpse. It sumbled back, but it walked toward him again. Over and over Daryl shoved what was left of his brother as he cried. Tears were freeling spinning down your cheeks. 

        When Merle's body fell on its back, Daryl crawled on top of it and plunged his knife into its skull over and over and over until he collapsed.

        You wanted to intervene, to console, to be his rock, but something told you to let him get it out. He needed to. So, you waited until Daryl's blind rage simmered down and placed an assuring hand on his shoulder.

        "Wanna bury him?" You whispered.

        Daryl shook his head.

        "Okay." You relented. You glanced around your surroundings and noticed a patch of wildflowers off in the distance. "I'll be right back." You squeezed him gently before jogging over and gathering each and every flower in the patch. When you walked back over to where Daryl was hunched over Merle, he looked up at you with wet, red eyes. When he clocked the flowers, he gave a single nod and stood up beside you. You split the flowers in half and handed Daryl a bundle. The two of you placed them each individually around Merle's corpse.

        You thought back to a conversation you had with Merle the night before, when you couldn't sleep and went out of the cell to get some water.

        "Take care of my baby brother, will ya?" Merle's voice echoed through the quiet block.

        "I always have." 

"We'll take care of each other." Your vice cracked as you spoke. "Promise."

        "Promise." Daryl whispered.

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[0oolookitsme]

Like Gold Dust

Hii everyone! This one is kind of different than most of my fics. There are lots of descriptions and lesser dialogues and she's an angsty one! Lowkey poetic too, I think? I don't know! You tell me! I hope you enjoy reading <3

Verse - Footballer!Harry x Art Director!Y/n (uni era)

Word Count - 3.1k

Warnings - This fic is about Harry dealing with Seasonal Depression and he doesn't deal with it in this fic very healthily. So, if that, in any way, seems like it might be triggering for you or you don't wanna read about it, I totally understand! Close this fic and take care of yourself, I'll see you in the next upload! Sending love <3 (Also, there's miscommunication as well because of course, they are in uni!)

Winter has come knocking the wind out of Harry's lungs, and happiness has begun feeling like gold dust to him -- everybody seems to be chasing after it, but rarely catches it. But while Harry deals with the harshest Winter he's ever had, Y/n seems to have begun hating her favourite season.

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With her head lowered defeatedly, Y/n slapped on the door with her palm for the fifth time. "Harry," she exhaled a breath that she had held hostage in her lungs so that she wouldn’t miss his reply. "I know you're in there ...let me in, please," her voice went meek towards the end, eyes moistening making her screw them shut, tighly.

She let her head rest on the door, sniffling a few times when she feels the sudden tiredness overtake her senses once again.

Maybe he's asleep, she thinks to herself just to get herself moving. Nodding at her own thought, she fisted the hand that was still pressed against the cold shut door and put it back in the warmth of her coat’s pocket.

This was nothing new. Every morning she'd come to his dorm, knock and knock and knock, and get teary eyed when he wouldn't open up. She'd catch him on the campus sometimes, walking in the same clothes she'd been seeing him in since the past three days, his head low and eyes avoiding any and every gaze.

"Harry!" She'd call after him and run up to match her steps with his. "I went to your dorm; thought you were sleeping but here you are!" Halting in her place she'd exclaim. Then, she'd mumble sadly -- "looking all pretty," running a little because he hadn't stopped with her.

She'd walk with him quietly then, cautiously weaving her fingers through his rough ones. He'd squeeze her hand three times in return and hold on tightly until they'd reach the point where they needed to part ways for their classes.

Truth be told, those little encounters seemed to be the only thin thread she was hanging by. His simple touches, holds, and cold lips pressed against her forehead. It made her believe that he didn’t entirely hate her, that she wasn’t as useless as she felt.

Y/n felt like she was lacking somewhere. That she should be the one he should be talking to in moments like these, that she should be the sole source of comfort he had but it seemed like he kept his distance from her as much as he could. And that made her feel like maybe she wasn’t his favourtie person, after all. 

She knew that it wasn’t the truth in her heart. That Harry did still love her, and found his safe haven in her – the smallest actions he made were assuring …but they weren’t enough to prevent Y/n’s opposing, combatant mind from exceeding its thinking capacity.

Every night she found herself doubting herself – her capacity to love, especially. Was her love not enough for the both of them to sail a little longer? At Least until Spring came and Harry’s sunflower plant became full of life again?

She feared that their relationship was withering away, just like his sunflower, and she was sat in his room on his window sill with the plant in her lap, frantically giving it sunlight and air and water and better soil but it just won’t stop shrinking in size and fading in colour.  

Doing everything she could, still Y/n was always feeling helpless and in despair. It was like she was screaming but Harry wasn’t listening…whether intentionally or not because, from Harry’s point of view, no sound seemed to be coming out of her scream – maybe because he was under water.  

"I'll see you soon," she'd tell him and get up on her tiptoes to hug him close to herself, pressing a kiss on his unshaved cheek. And with that, she'd walk away, her hand a lingering touch until she had walked far enough, and she, yet again, proved to be insufficient and not enough.

Walking against the brittle wind, she caught sight of the on-campus cafe. Walking inside, she looked up at the jingling bells above the door and smiled. She’d been coming here for so many months and yet she looked up at the source of the chime every time she walked in – for coffee, mainly, and for some warm shelter, secretly.

"A medium coffee please," she told the barista, who also happened to be a good friend. The cafe was opened by some of the college students, for the college students. It was nothing fancy but did its job remarkably well.

No one was speaking this early in the morning. Everyone was bundled up in any corner that they could seek, and Y/n looked around in hopes that maybe the footsteps she'd heard inside Harry's dorm weren't actual and that she might catch him cozied up here, instead. Because sometimes they'd bump into each other here or at the library, and that would bring her the peace that she was feeling rarely this Winter – which came as a shock to the system because she didn’t nearly love any season as much as she did Winter.

But alas, it was only a hope after all.

"Can I get a refill, please?" Someone asked, slightly embarrassed as the peeked from behind their laptop screen. Standing in front of Y/n, the barista – Kate – agreed to the request with a warm smile.

-

It was brighter than usual today, Harry had noticed. The sunlight pouring in through his open window laid right on his bed and if he wasn’t already feeling brighter today, which is the reason why he is standing fresh out of his bathroom and rubbing his towel against his head with another one wrapped low on his hips, his mood just felt as if it had bubbled up so high that he couldn’t handle it all by himself.

The flimsy curtains were still drawn in front of his windows, as he quickly changed. Even though he hated dressing up before his skin had fully dried. Unconsciously, he began humming a song and when he realized that while brushing his hair, he felt as if he had caught himself off guard. 

Happiness had begun to feel like it was like gold dust, to Harry. He’d suddenly become very aware of how difficult it was to obtain, how everyone wanted it and it was almost as if it had grown out of his comfort zone. 

He wasn't excited about the winter, not that he ever was. But he was depressed. Harry avoided his own gaze in the mirror then. He hadn’t said anything to himself other than a broken sob in weeks, so to find himself humming a song felt surreal. 

Throwing some things in his backpack, he swung it over his shoulders. He didn’t have anything on his feet, he realized and sprawled on the floor to look under his bed for the socks he was sure he had absentmindedly kicked under there. 

He took a quick sniff at his socks, deciding that he could go with them this last day. With a few grunts he pulled them up on his feet, sitting on the floor of his dorm room and tying his shoelaces. Y/n had gifted him those among some other things for Christmas, and that thought made him smile as he stared at the Nikes on his feet for little.

A few of his bones popped as he got up, making him groan in satisfaction. Checking if he had his phone and headphones on him, he decided to go and quickly check the scenery outside via his window and see for himself if he should carry an umbrella, which didn’t make any sense because it could begin raining cats and dogs any time where he lived.

That was when he caught sight of snow – falling down in flakes, slowly like feathers. His mouth fell open as he pressed his palms against the cold window glass, looking outside like some eager kid with his nose slightly smushing against it. His gaze wandered and he realized that everyhting was covered in white snow, shimmering beautifully as sunlight fell down.

Suddenly in a much bigger hurry, he swung his backpack on one of his shoulders again, and locked the door once he was on the other side of it.

The temperature inside his dorm room was much colder than the temperature outside, Harry realized, just as he does every other day and proceeded to walk down the hallway with his hands in the pockets of his bright pink hoodie. He’d been thinking all morning that maybe this serotonin release was only for one day, but chose not to dwell over that so he could simply live for at least some hours – for as long as the sun was away from the jail-bars, namely clouds.

But then he realized that it had finally begun snowing, and he felt like no one could take his happiness from him; absolutely no one.

He hated this issue that he had. He’s been suffering with seasonal depression since he was fifteen, he’d guess, and he hadn’t had one winter since that made him happy. Except, of course, the last one, in which he finally had the nerve to kiss Y/n under a mistletoe that had been hanging on the wall indentation that separates the dining area from the kitchen in his home.

And she made the Winter sufferable, if not entirely rainbows and sunshine for him. But it only made Harry hate himself worse – the fact that she adored no season as much as she did the snow one, and yet she was sad all the time during the span of this Winter in particular, because of him.

When Winter was approaching, she had strictly told him to come meet her before he’d leave for practice in the mornings, just so that she could hold him for a little before they’d go in for entirely different classes for the day, because she was aware that one of his love languages was physical touch. She didn’t really have a clue about how harsh this Winter was going to be on them, considering it hadn’t ever been so bad in the years she had known him, even as his best friend.

But he hadn’t been following the one rule she’d made; he was unable to.

He tried to stay away from her, when he realized that. Just so that she wouldn’t have to share all of her love and happiness with him to the level that she was left with nothing but his sadness. It wasn’t making him feel good, it hurt worse than the Winter did – staying away from her. But it was for the better, he’d tell himself over and over again as he would roll his lips in his mouth and shut his eyes tightly when she would come knocking on his dorm room morning and night, voice sounding as if she were on the verge of breaking down and begging him to open up so that she could come in and help him, and herself even.

“This is making me very sad, Harry. This – whatever it is that you’re doing, i – it isn’t making me feel anything but … but sad,” she would utter defeatedly outside his dorm, being ignorant about the strangers that might be hearing her. And, Harry would clench his eyes shut if his mind showed him a sight of her bottom lip trembling with fat tears rolling down her flushed cheeks.

What would matter to anyone hearing her, if Harry wasn’t hearing her? She’d think as she’d knock for the last few times, getting louder and louder.

It made Hary question his decisions, if he was doing the ‘right thing’ after all. But still he would gulp down his cry that threatened to escape his aching throat. He cried, and held himself as his body shook and broke down in sobs, because it felt selfish to have her do it when she could be outside building a snowman.   

He was well aware that she was concerned about him, it showed in her actions -- bled through the looks of care she passed him before she had to part from him. And he felt careless, like he wasn’t being responsible and mature enough by simply letting her in but he was. He couldn’t explain as to how or why, but in his head, he knew he was being sensible by not enclosing her in his misery.

Around Y/n he was calmer and more at peace – that was, nowadays, whenever she would catch him sulking on the campus somewhere. Almost all the time he wanted to be coddling her, holding her or being near her -- he knew she’d keep him sane, at the least but still he didn’t go to her. So he managed to comfort himself by the things that reminded him of her.

He felt such geat despair in that moment, when he would be sliding down the wall of his dorm as tears fell one after another from the slits of his eyes. He’d feel resentful of himself, but would still wrap his arms around his weak body and strangle his sobs because the walls were paper thin. He’d rest his head on his knees, back against the cold wall before he’d crawl to the foot of his bed and cry into the mattress as if it were his mum’s or Y/n’s lap. 

The sun had begun its hideaway for multiple days on end, and it got dark way earlier. Although he'd liked to think that he was prepared for the season, for the entirety of the beautiful autumn, he knew he was just baffling to himself. His current state was proof for it.

He felt tired, always. Never sleeping and being irritated at the slightest mistakes made during practice -- whether it was with himself or with his teammates. He had no interest in eating or getting out of his dorm room in the mornings, which was extremely unusual of him. Exams were around the corner and as much as he'd like to say that he was ready to tackle them, it was a lie far far away from the truth.

He wasn't even sure what the syllabus was, if he was being completely honest.

By the end, his throat would be aching because of the stifled wails and the sun would have risen by the time he’d be done collecting himself, and then a headache would follow and his eyes would've dried up because of the night time that he used to study instead of sleeping. 

Swiftly climbing down the flight of stairs to go to y/n's dorm, he felt the same kind of sensation he did when he was going back home for the winter break.

He knocked thrice, gently because he’s sure she's still sleeping or just woken up. There was a rush in his body, the thought of seeing her was making him more and more impatient. He was beginning to feel nervous, almost verging on anxious.

The door opened, and Y/n peeked through the small crack before and her eyes widened at the sight in front of her. He was standing right there, freshly showered and dressed in a fresh pair of clothes. His face was shining and as he smiled down at her, his dimples indented in his shaved cheek and she could smell the strong smell of his shaving cream that lingered around for a while. His lips were stretched so far that the front of his bunny could be seen from the small gap forming in between.

He didn't look much better than he did on the mornings that have passed them by since winter started, but he did seem to be in a better mood. It made her happy that he loved the hot pink hoodie that she bought him as much as she did. He had paired it with some joggers, and the shoes that, again, she had gifted him.

Tears pooled in her eyes in an instant and her nose flared a bit as her mouth swung open in a grin, spurts of laughter falling out as she gazed at him in disbelief. 

She made herself fully visible and opened the door wider. Instead of saying anything, she closed her mouth shut, still smiling at him brightly, and opened her arms for him to lean into her.

"Good morning," he gritted through his teeth as she held him tightly, rubbing her back up and down as she broke down in his arms. Pushing the door shut with his leg.

“Good fucking morning,” she sobbed and hicupped, a crack in her voice indicating that this was the first time she'd spoken since she'd woken up, and that she would’ve begun screaming in victory if only she could stop the stuttering cries rushing out of her.

This was the sole reason she'd begun to dislike mornings less, in the first place -- the love she felt oozed out of her at the sight of Harry. But she hadn’t realized just how off and gloomy she had been this whole time until she broke down at the mere sight of him looking decent. All these mornings that she had to wake up knowing deep in her core her that she wouldn’t see the sun, no matter how much she begged for it to come out had put her in a despair so great that she couldn’t even fathom the feeling of it.

But when she’d woken up this morning to see the land outside covered in white snow, shining as sunlight fell on it filled her with a certain hope to the brim. It almost made her flinch, the way sunlight fell on her face as she laid in her bed, eyes swollen and pillow still wet with the tears she’d cried into it the night before.

"You look exceptionally good this morning," she said while pointedly eyeing him up, wiping off the snot with the sleeve of her hoodie. "All good?"

Harry laughed at that, picking her up and taking her to the unmade bed. It looked like she was in the process of making it because all of her stuffed animals were strewn all over the floor -- and she tends to sleep with them on the days Harry isn't there to take up more space than necessary.

“I would’ve been on my way to buy some flowers for you, had I not seen the snow outside. Got too excited to see you, couldn’t wait,” he spoke softly, like she was still in a fragile state.“Plus, it’s too cold outside and I’d like my golden girl to come with me… For the sunflowers only bloom at the sight of the sun,” he smiled with his eyes crinkling on ends, and dimples shying away from Y/n’s gaze. 

“First of all, we need to talk and second of all – how many times did you reframe this cringy speech, Harry?”

[acourtofthought]

Sjm didn't make elucien mates and then change her mind. She knew she's going to make elriel endgame from the get go. Even when she had Lucien say, "you are my mate". If you reread the series, acosf comes of as a filler. It was Nesta's healing journey but it was also used to set some of the vital plot points for Elain's book, with Azriel. And she's not going to change the direction of such a solid overarching plot for gwynriel. GA a mediocre ship with an over done couple dynamic. And sjm doesn't have history of bending to the readers whim. As for Lucien, she's already introduced Vassa and laid the foundation of Lucien and Vassa's story. Pairing Lucien with Elain would be a waste of a great story and a great female character (Vassa). She's not going to do that. If eluciens and gwynriels think the time magazine article was a random mention of Elain and Azriel that has nothing to do with sjm or BB they are sorely mistaken.

You mean SJM thought Nesta would be with Lucien only to change her mind with how toxic they'd be together just to pair him with Elain knowing Az was her endgame? Weird.

I really enjoy how you take a journalists own words over that of the author herself.

Somehow the journalist saying that fans speculate about Az and Elain is a bigger deal to you than SJM being quoted as saying because she has it in her own life, she can write about men who are the females biggest supporter, cheering her on and supporting her growth and we then have the author herself writing it so Az gets SCOLDED for not believing in Elain.

And VASSA is a greater female character than Gwyn who became one of the first Valkryie in how many years? Yes, Vassa's many many pages of dialogue clearly prove your point. I think Vassa says a total of 10 sentences throughout the entire series.

Vassa will still be important, but as a side character in Elucien's journey as their friend who will end up with Jurian.

But you got us, E/riel is up there with the greatest love stories of all time.

ACOMAF

And Mor backed away. Step by step. "What a prize," the kind said, that black gaze devouring her. Azriel's head lifted from where he was sprawled in his own blood, eyes full rage and pain as he snarled at the king, "Don't you touch her." Mor loked at Azriel - and there was real fear there. Fear - and something else. She didn't stop moving until she again kneeled beside him and pressed a hand to his wound. Azriel hissed - but covered her bloody fingers with his own. (oh....just so you know, Elain was kidnapped and is currently bound and gagged, with the King preparing to put her into the Cauldron but Az is a little too busy focusing on Mor to care).

ACOWAR

And somehow had to guard Elain, though I certainly wasn't about to tell Lucien that. Cassian, swearing and pissy, got the short stick, and Azriel only clapped him on the shoulder before heading to the house to prepare. (Here we have Elain depressed but Az is happy to leave her).

Throughout it, he was quiet - removed. Even by his standards. I made the mistake of asking if he'd spoken to Mor since he'd left last night. No, he had not. And that was that. Even if he kept flexing his scarred hand at his side. As if recalling the sensation of the hand she'd whipped free of his touch during the meting. Over and over. (I think you might want to rethink that fanart scene that's floating around of Az flexing his hand for Elain a la Mr. Darcy).

"It's worth a try," Mor sniped. "You're needed here," Cassian said. Azriel looked included to agree, even as he kept quiet. (Elain had a vision with her Seer powers, something Az claimed "We need"......yet he did absolutely nothing about it. He did did not fight for what she was seeing, he did not offer to go. How incredibly supportive!).

ACOMAF

"Are we supposed to get the sisters presents?" "No I said, and I meant it. Az seemed to loose a sigh of relief".

Az, to his credit, gave Mor a smile of thanks, a blush creeping over his cheeks, his hazel eyes fixed on her. I looked away at the heat, the yearning that filled them.

ACOSF

Nesta said to Feyre, "Did you tell Elain?"

Before Feyre could reply, Azriel said, "What about Mor?"

"Where's my beautiful Mor?" Az said tightly, "Away."

Azriel stiffened, an outright sign of temper from him as he said quietly, "There is an innate darkness to the Dread Trove that Elain should not be expose to." / She threw a nod toward Azriel. "Including Elain, who is more than capable of defending herself against the darkness of the Trove, if she chooses to." Don't underestimate her."

Rhysand blinked, "What of Mor, Az?" Azriel ignored the question.

Azriel said nothing. He hadn't gotten that far with his planning, certainly not beyond the sexual fantasies he pleasured himself to.

HOFAS

"We defeated Hybern," Azriel confirmed. A glance toward Truth-Teller at his side. Then at Nesta. "Nesta beheaded the King of Hybern by herself."

There you go. That's your beautiful, romantic, SJM planned from the start love story of Elain and Az.

It doesn't matter how many sweet moments you have for E/riel the fact remains that shortly after each scene, Az was written to still be hung up on Mor (funny how his longing glances only became few and far between in the book where Mor WAS NO LONGER IN THE NIGHT COURT FOR A MAJORITY OF THE TIME), where he still disrespected Elain, where he never once gave her credit for the brave things she did during the war, where he never once addressed her depression or the things she lost like her father, her humanity, her fiance.

And the overarching plot already lends itself to an Elucien and Gwynriel endgame. There's no mental gymnastics or changing the characters personalities to make it fit.

Pairing Elain with Az would be a waste of Elain's character. If you cared for Elain as you say you do you'd ship her with Amren more than Az considering Amren had to reprimand Az for underestimating her.

"But it's what Elain wants!"

Sometimes young girls that just experienced trauma are foolish thinking they know what they want even though the adults in the room can clearly see it's not healthy 🤷. Elain is working through it all but once she comes out on the other side, she'll see things a bit more clearly. I think we got our evidence of that when she returned Az's necklace and I can't wait to see if in the next book she finds out about the bullshit he said about her and Lucien.

I have never heard of a more delusional comment than claiming SJM used SF as filler for an E/riel endgame. SJM is on record of saying how Nesta felt keenly alive to her early on, how she feels emotional rereading SF because of her own journey with mental health issues yet you're turning into E/riel fodder.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[captainswanwipwednesdays]

CS WIP Wednesday Challenge (an evergreen list)

A new WIP writing challenge every week! Dust off your keyboards and bust out your red pens, because we're summoning the muse whether she likes it or not 🧚‍♀️

Feel free to jump in and out as you please - just make sure to tag us so that we can reblog all your updates!

If the week's prompt doesn't work for you, write anything you want! Write what calls to you! Just write something! The same fic can also be used for more than one prompt!

Week 1

👻 The WIP haunting you most (you know which one it is - it's the first one that came to mind when you saw this challenge)

Week 2

👵 Your oldest posted WIP (can you even remember what year it was when that one first went up?)

Week 3

🥰 Your favorite WIP (which one do you actually WANT to be writing right now, regardless of what anyone else thinks of it)

Week 4

🕛 The WIP that has gone the longest without an update (have pity on us readers please)

Week 5

💡 The WIP that has all the notes/outline already done but you haven't managed to start (that's half the work done already!)

Week 6

🎂 The WIP you most recently updated (more cake!)

Week 7

🤏 Your shortest WIP (as in the one that will be the shortest, so short that you can totally write it... right? right.)

Week 8

🤷‍♀️ Any WIP - 500 words (shake that muse until words fall out - any words at all!)

Week 9

📜 Your longest WIP (look how many words you've already written! What's a few more?)

Week 10

🫶 Your WIP with the least amount of notes (let's give it the attention it deserves!)

Week 11

☝️ A oneshot WIP (come on, you can do it! It'll totally stay a oneshot....)

Week 12

🔥 That smutty WIP/scene you've been avoiding (suck it up and write the smut - or fade it to black - just don't let a little smut stand in your way!)

Week 13

☹️ The WIP you started and abandoned/decided not to post (don't let that WIP be an orphan!)

Week 14

🙌 Your posted WIP with the most comments/kudos/notes (give the people what they want!)

Week 15

✍️ That one scene/bit of dialogue in a WIP you don't want to/haven't been able to write (make them do the thing or say the thing even if they do or say it badly!)

Week 16

🃏 Dealer's choice (whatever your heart desires, writers, that's all we want you to have)

Week 17

😈 A new WIP (You've already got so many on the go... what's one more?)

Week 18

😭 That WIP that's going to be so long and involved you don't even want to think about it (Time to bite the bullet and write that first/next sentence)

Week 19

🪈 The WIP you talked about but never started (we're waiting - time to pay the piper...)

Week 20

👀 Let someone else pick which WIP they'd love you to update (it's not peer pressure if it's your friends right?)

🖋🖋🖋🖋🖋🖋🖋🖋🖋🖋🖋🖋🖋🖋🖋🖋🖋🖋🖋🖋

Feel free to send me any suggestions you might have and we can add them to the list - There will be a weekly post as well for each topic as a reminder.

Happy Writing!

[squishosaur]

um outline for my event but do not look too closely for i will eventually rework it AGAIN.

PART 1:

1: A Thrilling Invitation

Azul, Jade, and Floyd receive invitations to see a performance of the Royal Choir's annual concert back at home in the Coral Sea, each being able to "bring a friend or two!"

2: A Chilling Realization

The three merfolk wonder who to take with them and Azul dreads having to go back, much less choosing to bring someone to see him in his miserable state (being an octopus).

3: Unusually Bothered

Azul goes to Alchemy with Jamil, who is startled by his change in character. Azul tells him about how he doesn't want anyone to see him in his merform, and Jamil cautiously offers to go with him, saying that Azul's already seen him at his lowest (referring to overblotting), so he has no place to judge him. Begrudgingly, Azul agrees. After a moment, he asks Jamil if he'd switch dorms if he only pouted in his direction more often, and Jamil jokingly says he can still retract his offer.

4: To Explore Underwater

At Lunch, Floyd is grumbling about who to invite when he sees Yuu, Grim, and Silver, who he decides to invite on an impulse so he does not have to put any thought into it. Silver remarks that it would be an honor to go see the Coral Sea because he'd finally have a place to tell his father about that he hadn't been yet (Everyone else is like "Wow, Silver!! Your dad is so cool!!") Yuu has a dialogue option to either say "I'm SOOOO down for that!!", "After last time...?", or "I thought you said 'one or two'?" Any of these will prompt him to say that he can totally get more tickets so that all three of them can go because 1) he has cash from the lounge, 2) Azul probably will refuse to take anybody, and 3) if that doesn't cover it his parents' business is always booming (laughs evilly at this part). Silver and Yuu look at one another confusedly and Grim mutters "These fishy guys are way too creepy..."

5: What's on the Menu?

Jade has been invited to help out with the science club because they are going out and identifying different mushrooms around the school and what conditions they live in. He's excited and says that it's too bad there aren't any back at home and then WOEFULLY rambles about going home. Of course, Trey and Rook are curious and ask about his home, and Trey specifically asks what they eat. Jade looks him dead in the eye for a moment and says "Fish, of course. 😊" While Trey is thrown for a loop and mildly disturbed, Rook asks why Jade is going home, and he explains the situation and then extends an invitation to both of them. They politely accept, with Trey asking if he could get Riddle to tag along because she has been so stressed and could probably use a break (this is ok-ed because Jade also believes Azul will not take anybody), they both say they look forward to seeing the culture and where Jade came from.

6: A Royal Venue

Azul, Jamil, Floyd, Silver, Grim, Yuu, Jade, Rook, Trey, and Riddle all get together (the twins are shocked that Azul picked anyone at all, especially Jamil and tease him about it), and Azul complains that the twins both brought too many people and it was like they *wanted* them all to stare at him. They deny this and then begin discussing the plan for the weekend. They'd go Friday night and see the sights. On Saturday, Jade would take Rook and Trey to museums to learn about the science underwater and the cultural history, Floyd would take Grim, Yuu, and Silver (he asked for Riddle and she exclaimed "NO" so loudly that everyone jumped back) around to do Whatever He Wanted because he was not making plans, and Azul would take Jamil and Riddle to where they grew up and the surrounding area on the first day, then they'd meet up after lunch and see the rehearsal, before hanging out and then then going to the actual show the next day. Jade tells them Prince Rielle, their former classmate, is going to be a soloist in the show and that it will be held at the castle. Everyone is shocked because they failed to mention it was a royal affair.

7: In for a Spin

Floyd ignores their shock and says they can't go looking like that because they'd all get stared at more than Azul used to be (Azul is upset by this) and tosses them all potions to turn them into merpeople, saying that it wasn't weird that they had potions that go from human to merfolk if they had merfolk to human ones. They all take the potion and head down into the Coral Sea.

8: Flippin' Your Fins

They are underwater now and we do that thing in events where they show off all of the new outfit sprites so that takes a sec. Also, the humans cannot maneuver well in water at first and get frustrated because That's what NRC students do. Azul has shrunk back behind a rock somewhere and Jamil bumbles his way over to him to get him to come out, but the conversation is cut off as they hear someone shouting.

9: Dress Rehearsal Disaster

A redheaded merperson darts past the group, followed by a smaller blue-haired one, and then finally a crabby merfolk scrambles across the sand, shouting for the two of them to get back to rehearsal. Jade offers to chase them down for him. (INSERT TWISTUNE!! where the three Octavinelle students are swimming after them, holding the others by the hand bc they still have no sense of direction).

10: Just Swim Faster!!

They cannot keep up with the redhead but do catch up with the little guy, Cas (Short for Caspian), who explains that he and Rielle (humans + grim collectively gasp, "THAT'S RIELLE?") were trying to get out of rehearsal to see the shore.

11: A Dream of the Shore

Cas explains that Rielle has been visiting the shore to look for someone up there who he's in love with and that he says he'd rather be up there than in the ocean and had been trying to tell his parents that, but never found a good time, but thought that they should be allowed to be together like the princess from the legends.

12: Wishing for More

Rielle returns and swoons, saying that he "saw her again, the dreamiest person in the world..." Cas tries to explain that he's not always like this and the group all tries to head back when suddenly royal guards arrive, shouting at them to give the prince back. There is a twistune to outswim the guards, but Rielle is taken and Caspian takes the group to a secret cave to escape no matter what the outcome is.

PART 2 BEGINS HERE:

13: A Hidden Cove

The group is shocked by what happened and Cas tells them that they've been really hard on Rielle lately because this is his last year in the youth choir and they want to make sure its perfect, because chances are that Rielle will refuse to join the adult choir when that time comes. He also tells them that they are near the former treasure trove of the legendary princess and that he can take them back to explore later, but he needed to find Rielle. The NRC kids decide to go rest and get ready for the next day. 

14: The Treasure Trove

The next day, they split up into groups, and Floyd and his group go with Cas to see the treasure trove, where they find that most things are gone, but some random junk remains in corners and crevices. Silver and Grim find a spoon and ask about it (Yuu is given the dialogue option of it's a... Dinglehopper OR fork, and choosing dinglehopper will prompt Floyd to say, "Nice, Shrimpy! Guess someone's been paying attention in Trein's class!"), Floyd and Cas tell them more about the princess. The entire time, Cas is intimidated because Floyd jokes about eating him, and Grim says he is hungry and they go out to eat.

15: Love on Land

While they're over there, Jade, Trey, and Rook are at a museum, where Jade is telling them about all of the trinkets in it. They're in a section on land and Jade lets them guess what each thing is (normal stuff like dishes and the like), and then explaining what they were called and the assumed use. He also explained how love between humans and merfolk was seen as taboo, but that it was getting more accepted by people, especially for those who choose to live on land. He also says that he's not sure if he wants to come back to the sea or live on land in the future, Rook assures him that he has plenty of time to decide and so much to explore still, so he doesn't have to decide yet. Jade agrees, and the three of them go to the next section of the museum, all teasing one another the entire time.

16: A Walk in the Sand

Azul has taken Riddle and Jamil to a shipwreck because merfolk tend to avoid them and it would be quiet. Riddle and Jamil are trying to assure him that he doesn't need to be so self conscious, but he ignores them, saying that he ISN'T. Jamil says he's never seen Azul lose his cool like this and, despite constantly telling himself he wished someone would knock Azul off his high horse, he doesn't actually feel good seeing Azul upset. Riddle agrees, and they try to talk to Azul again. Azul is so wrapped up in his own head that he does not notice his surroundings and accidentally leads them towards a shark. We have a battle to scare the shark off. ALSO AT SOME POINT IN OR AROUND THIS CHAPTER AZUL REVEALS THAT HE HAS A YOUNGER SISTER WHO LIVES WITH HIS FATHER BECAUSE I DID WANT TO INCLUDE A MORGANA BASED OC BUT FEEL LIKE AZUL’S BACKSTORY WORKS BETTER AS AN ONLY CHILD

17: Role Reversal

Riddle chases off the shark, especially mad that it underestimated her as being the weakest because she was the smallest member of the group. Jamil turns to Azul and they have a heart to heart that ends with Jamil awkwardly praising Azul, who says "Now I know how you feel when you say you dislike flattery..." to which Jamil argues that he was genuinely complimenting him. They fall silent until Riddle gets back, which confuses her, so she asks if Jamil had scolded Azul. Jamil says yes and that he is "worse than Kalim sometimes..." Azul feigns hurt and quietly thanks him.

18: Another Rehearsal

The time rolls around for them to meet up at the rehearsal and everyone is in awe of the instruments and such. This whole chapter is a reference to Under the Sea in its dialogue. They hear the same crabman arguing exhaustedly like before with Rielle.

19: Act Like a Fish

The crab is formally introduced as Stephan, the royal conductor. He is complaining that Rielle keeps disappearing and that he will have to tell his father if he has his head up in the clouds and out of the water. Rielle is clearly unhappy after being scolded again.

20: The Prince's Wish

Silver approaches Rielle, understanding his issue, explaining that he too has gotten in trouble for being mindless sometimes when he genuinely cannot help it. Rielle sighs and explains that he's really jealous that Azul, Jade, and Floyd got to see the land and had so many adventures and probably met cute girls up there too... He says he'd give anything, even his voice, to go to the shore. Silver says that he also understands what it's like to want to give anything for someone, and they connect over that, going on to exchange fun anecdotes about their fathers and siblings (Silver talks about Malleus and Sebek here).

21: The Perfect Protégé

The rehearsal starts and everyone watches excitedly, but it all goes down badly when Rielle doesn't know any of the cues because he wasn't in it. Frustratedly, Stephan walks off, saying that he wants to take five, saying he doesn't care what they do until then. Rook curiously grabs the baton and tries to direct them himself, and his liveliness makes the singers and band more energetic. Stephan overhears this and comes back immediately, saying that Rook is a natural and inviting the other NRC kids to join the chorus. There is a Twistune here.

22: I Just Can't Stay

Azul feels his former classmates watching and recognizing him. He panics as he hears this and dashes out of the rehearsal. Everyone is shocked and begins searching for him. Um this one is more dramatic than my 3 setence overview.

PART 3 BEGINS HERE

23: Going Home

Azul goes home and is met by both his worried mother and the Leeches parents. He tells them that he hates this form and he wishes he were back on land where he feels like himself in the right body. Transcoded moment. His mom offers her hand in consolation and he begins to ugly cry.

24: Leave Me Alone!

The twins determine that the only place Azul could be is at home and lead everyone there. They meet the Leech parents who fawn over them and thank them for being kind to their little babies, especially Jade, who is a little troublemaker sometimes. The NRC kids are shocked that Floyd isn't considered the problem child, but their parents say that Floyd has always been a nice kid, but he's just a little shy and quiet. They turn to the twins who just smile. They tell them where Azul is, and everyone goes to check on him, but he refuses to come out and face them.

25: A Slippery Situation

Unable to reach Azul, they sit in defeat, wondering what to do. They then turn to his mom, who suggests that they all cook for him together in order to brighten his mood. We get another Twistune with everyone making a plate of fruits de mer with Trey and Jamil being the main actual cooks alongside Azul’s mom. The cutscene in the middle involves the Leech parents demonstrating their knife skills to Riddle who jumps back into Floyd’s arms (which he laughs at and Riddle complains about).

26: A Delectable Creation

They tell Azul they cooked and they all eat together with everyone telling Azul that in either form, they still see him as himself, and that if anyone bothers him, they’ll kick their asses because that’s just how they do it at NRC. He tells them if they really want to help, they should start working at the Mostro Lounge when they get back to school. Everyone laughs, glad that he’s back to normal.

27: Something to Lose

With that sorted out, they go back towards the concert hall to find Stephan to apologize for interrupting, but run into Rielle first, who apologizes for the others making Azul uncomfortable and for setting the rehearsal back a bunch himself. He says he will put aside what he wants for the sake of the show.

28: Who I Choose…

Rielle offers to take everyone to see Stephan, but Jamil grabs Azul, saying he wanted to talk to him first. He tells him that he’s very grateful that he got to go on this trip because he finally feels free from all of the responsibilities he has on land, and that he understands what Azul is feeling underwater because it is what he feels on the surface– resentment. He says he wants to get to know the real Azul, and he wants Azul to get to know him too. Jamil extends his hand and Azul takes it as they swim off to join the group.

29: Helpful and Nice!

When Jamil and Azul rejoin, everyone is helping to organize for the event the next morning. Riddle is barking directions like a stage manager, Trey is telling people where to go, Floyd and Jade have both joined the band section, Silver is helping Rielle and Cas with organizing the seats and marking off the reserved ones, Rook is assisting the conductor, and Yuu and Grim are just helping out with everybody where needed. Jamil remarks that it's surprising to see everyone on the same page, but Azul says it must be the spirit of benevolence going around.

30: I Need Your Advice

Rielle pulls Azul aside and says that he’s noticed that he seems very close to Jamil and mistakes their relationship for a romantic one, asking how he chose between his connections on land and his life in the sea. Azul says he has no idea what he’s talking about, but he thinks that he should follow his own aspirations and dreams. Someone interjects, and they both turn…

31: Conductor's Help

IT IS ROOK! And Yuu! Wow! Rook suggests that Rielle tells his father after the concert and that it may be hard when it feels like you’re letting down your parents, but eventually you have to decide to live your life, instead of the one they set out for you. Yuu agrees, inwardly worrying about how their parents would feel if they were stuck here, or worse, if they Voluntarily Chose to stay…

32: Being Yourself

Rielle agrees to tell his parents that he wants to go to the shore after the concert and goes off to find Cas. Rook then turns to Yuu and tells them that that applies to them too, and that he hopes they find happiness in their future as well in a 4th-wall breaking pep talk to not only Yuu, but also the player. They have the option to either say thank you or stay silent, resulting in either “Du rien!” or “... Take your time, okay?” respectively.

33: The Grand Performance

The actual performance happens! Twistune babyyyy!! I don’t have to write anythingggg

34: The Prince’s Announcements

The show is met with lots of applause and the NRC gang all cheers together. They turn to tell Rielle that he did a good job, but he has gone off to speak with his parents. We do not hear what they say to one another but they nod and hug, thanking him for trusting them instead of running off. In the meantime, we see Azul’s sister actually and they seem to have some sort of rivalry, but there is a fondness to their interaction.

35: The One I Love…

After the concert, the NRC gang goes out to eat and explore with Cas and Rielle, and Trey asks about the girl he was seeing on the shore. Rielle admits that they’ve never actually spoken and he doesn’t know her name. Everyone is confused as to how he knows he’s in love with her, and keep asking questions and we learn what this person looks like and how she carries herself… Most everyone from NRC looks at each other because they recognize this description…

36: FREAKING. UGHHHHH (working title)

Everyone shouts “ROLLO FLAMM??” and Rielle, blissfully ignorant, is like, “Oh do you know her?” They all stare at each other. Grim is the one to exclaim he’s a guy and not actually cute or nice by any standards. Rielle seems completely unfazed by this revelation #bisexual moment 💞 They continue their conversation and Rielle says that he is going to visit the shore during their next break and hopes to visit NRC at some point.

37: Resurfacing

The Octatrio say goodbye to their parents and everyone else, who also exchange their sentiments towards their friends. Riddle remarks under her breath that she would be too afraid to go to a Leech family reunion and they all laugh and smile like “Oh? How come? 😊” and she is completely freaked out and hides behind Trey and Silver, who both thank them for their hospitality. Stephan give Rook his baton and says to continue his search of beauty through the arts. Silver talks to Rielle and we pan to Grim, Yuu, and Cas saying that there’s something similar about the two of them (Disney Princess energy perhaps). Azul’s mother thanks Jamil for taking care of her baby and says she hopes he’ll continue to do so “in perpetuity.” Azul grumbles that she’s being embarrassing, but Jamil says he’ll consider the proposition, amused at how both Azul and his mother used business terms in describing their relationship. Before they leave, she gives Azul a nice, decorated box to open on the shore. Azul’s sister waves goodbye as well. They finally do leave and everyone is delighted to breathe air and have feet again. Jamil curiously asks Azul what was in the box, and he reveals that it was empty.

38: Junk Repurposing

Back at NRC, our group of travellers goes back to the Mostro Lounge, excitedly sharing details about their journey and recounting the things they did. Azul is staring at this box, wondering what to do with it. Jamil suggests that they make fruit de la mer (the chocolate this time) and fill the container with that. We have JUST ONE final Twistune where they make chocolate together in the Mostro Lounge’s kitchen.

39: Part of Your World

Azul and Jamil almost share a kiss, but are interrupted by the twins saying that they were looking for them (reference to the end of Kiss the Girl). They share the chocolate they made together with the rest of the group and decide to serve it as a surprise special at the Lounge for the next week. Azul remarks that they make a pretty good team, and Jamil agrees. After a moment, Azul tries his luck asking Jamil to join Octavinelle again. Jamil responds, “In your dreams… But I guess I wouldn’t mind helping out around here from time to time.” Azul is okay with this, and they sit in a happy, comfortable silence as they take in the chatter and other sounds of the Lounge together.

[givemearmstopraywith]

i was wondering, since you'd been an atheist for a hot minute, have you lost any friends because of your later belief in god (or your studies, etc.)?

i'm struggling with this, because there's people in my life that i like, that i would even consider friends, but some of them have this deep hate for church and religions in general. (many of them are from poland and i feel like if you're from poland, you either support the church for the most part or you totally distance yourself from it, and i'm not on either side in this case).

and for me, i'm judgemental of the church too, especially the catholic church (i'm catholic), i'm a feminist, not racist, not homophobic, not transphobic. liberal. but i do attend mass and it does feel important to me. whenever this comes up however, i feel like i need to explain myself. that's why i try not to bring up the topic of religion and faith at all.

and i understand where they are coming from and why they would choose to turn away from the church completely, but it's not like i haven't spent hours and hours and hours thinking about what my beliefs are. like this is so big for me and i wish i could be more open about it, but i feel so misunderstood every time.

my only solution would be to find better friends :/ maybe you had a similar experience?

i lost or became distant from a number of friends when i began to explore my relationship to faith more earnestly- it put a lot of strain on my relationship with my partner at the time, and we eventually broke up for reasons that included but were not exclusive to religion. that was almost a decade ago and i've grown a lot: my friends now do i know what they're in for with me, and i'm lucky in how they encourage and support me and give me space to be in dialogue with them. one of my closest friends is an atheist, and we have great conversations about theism.

but i also know, and this is part of growing in my faith, that religion- especially christianity- is the source of a lot of pain for people. a lot of trauma, including for myself, and i try to remember that. if my faith is built on love, then i am here only to love people. sometimes loving them means setting my faith, as big and immersive as it is, aside so that i can better model what it is to them. it can be an opportunity to help them heal in the sense that without talking to them or immersing them in my own journey, i can show them through my actions what faith should be, mindful that their experiences are with systems that are repressive, painful, violent, homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic, or abusive. some of my closest friends are people who have negative or no opinions about God and faith. part of what makes those relationships possible is that i recognize that i am privileged to have a healthy relationship to faith, that i have one at all, or that i was able to overcome my own religious trauma to a place of healing, where i could redevelop my assumptions from the ground up. that is a privilege and one that not everyone has the ability to take advantage of. to be religious is to be privileged, especially where christianity is the majority, since religion is practiced by the majority and often contributes negatively to systems of oppression (and this is partly why i have difficulty formally joining the church- my ability to take on religious privilege, as a christian in the christian west, only goes so far).

i do not believe in evangelism, but i do believe in lived faith, and weirdly in this way i have watched numerous people around me who previously had no interest in religion end up converting or reverting, or develop more unconventional relationship to something they'd lost through abuse or mistrust- sometimes they've directly attributed that to their relationship with me, and sometimes its more passive, maybe it has nothing to do with me at all. but i like to think that i was able to be something for them. when we talk about self-emptying in faith, when we talk about making room for God in ourselves and our lives, i think this is often what it means. people do not owe us understanding for our relationship with God. but if we are close to God, if we love him, we owe him our emptiness so that we can reflect his light to others, in the way that they can understand, that has nothing to do with ourselves. and if we lose people in that process, it isn't us they're rejecting, and it isn't God either. they're just not meant to encounter the light through us. and it is har to lose people like that, but it also makes space for people who will see the light of God reflected in us and recognize that it makes sense to them.

i hope this makes sense and helps you in your path: ultimately yes, faith is contentious, and not without reason. but i always try to be respectful of people's misgivings about faith, i don't bring it where it's not wanted, and i trust that God will bring me to places where it is wanted and more importantly, needed. such is faith.

[foibles-fables]

There are SO many other things I should be doing on this last day of my long weekend, but instead I'm sitting here thing about....Nora mate blessing rituals...how I'd imagine they'd look...how the ceremony might go...HRRNGGh

(yes this is absolutely for the Hawk and Thrush Extended Kiddo Universe bear with me and let me be. I totally believe Aloy would do it in honor/memory of Rost, even if it took her while to come to that decision.)

Seriously though, the Nora mate blessing concept is some of my favorite Horizon lore. No concept of marriage for them, just a bond (and an easily-dissolvable one at that) stricken prior to the potential conception of a child. And it's not easy to obtain one of these blessings--so much so that we know Proving winners sometimes ask for a mate blessing as their boon (and we know through ambient dialogue that Bast was going to, if he had won!). It's the Nora's primary way of making sure their limited resources aren't stretched too thin, and a way to keep the idea of motherhood revered.

So what are my preliminary thoughts?

Once the hopeful parents-to-be receive approval from [one or more] Matriarchs, there's a ceremony, since we know the Nora love that. Probably public. (I'm assuming the naming ceremonies usually are, too, as a part of their communal customs--but we didn't get to see that with Aloy and Rost.) The ceremony would involve traditional and matriarch-led vows spoken not to one another, but by both of them to the future child. There are likely separate vows spoken to them the mother and the father--though for my purposes, both mothers would speak the former in tandem.

Then there's the paint! We know that Nora facepaint is somehow familial. Sona, Varl, and Vala all have the same facepaint, and so do the other Nora siblings we know (Nakoa and Yan, Olara and Brom). But, so do Thok and Arana, as father and daughter. So does the father then wear their mate's family facepaint until the mate blessing might be dissolved? Potentially. I'm not as sold on that one, since connection to one's own mother is held in the highest regard to the Nora. This I'm still lukewarm about on the idea of an exchange of facepaint being a part of the ceremony, but--

Totally, 100% behind and feral over the idea of the mother (carrying parent, in my case) having her belly and breasts painted with traditional fertility markings. I mean, their symbol is a uterus, so. It's done either by the matriarch or the mate (preferably the latter), after the vows, while the matriarch invokes the blessing. Then they are faced to the community, which also speaks its blessing on the hopeful new parents.

Then they uhhhh head off and get started on trying to make it happen. something something the paint stays on during--

Thank y'all for bearing with me, my brain is made of worms, actually

[sorcerous-caress]

Hi! I really admire the way you write bg3 charas and I was curious about your opinion- what you think about the polyamory options in the game? iirc Shadowheart and Astarion are open to it- Shadowheart at least is enthusiastic about poly with Halsin and a four/fivesome with the drows at Sharess’s Caress, I’ve seen mixed interpretations of Astarion’s reactions. Karlach I think? Says she’s open to it but due to circumstance wants a closed relationship. (Halsin ofc is very openly poly.)

Do you think any of the comps could conceivably have and enjoy a healthy poly relationship outside of what we see in game, and (toying the line of bobcourse {bob discourse} and it’s totally fine if you don’t want to touch that) (actually it’s totally fine if you don’t feel like answering this in general; please don’t feel pressured by this monster of an ask!!) do you think the ones we have rn are healthy? 👀 Sorry if you’ve talked about this already!

(Btw the theme looks great! Diarrhea never came to mind at all)

Thank you so much <3 This means a lot.

Okay, just to be clear, poly isn't having threesomes and vice versa, so I don't think we should use their willingness to have the orgy in Sharess's Caress as a frame of reference. Because the drow twins are two strangers and not people they're in a poly relationship with.

Poly relationships don't require having sex. They're like any other relationship, just with more people. AroAce people can be poly too.

Also, I think the reason we don't have poly ingame besides Halsin, which was a last edition, is because Larian ran out of time and budget. They'd have to make whole new scenes with whole new dialogue trees and animations.

And keep in mind that they're characters, just tools and dolls. Not real people. You can headcanon them all as poly, and it's valid.

Anyway, so here is my opinion who is and who isn't poly ingame.

There are monogamous exlusive characters who make it very clear they don't want poly: Gale, Minthara and maybe Lae'zel

There are some who show being poly but can't due to circumstances and the current options of people: Shadowheart, Karlach, and Astarion.

Side note, I really don't believe that theory going around about how Astarion was only willing to be poly with Halsin because "high elves don't take relationships with wood elves seriously". Maybe if this was dos2 then sure, but Larian really removed most of these things in Baldur's Gate 3.

It feels like cherry-picking. If we are going with this old representation of high elves, then based on that, he'd never be with any non-high elf Tav, not even human. Astarion agreed to share with Halsin because he is clearly comfortable with him. It feels belittling and insulting to both of their queerness to even consider this theory. Especially with how his past lover was a whole drow, you really think a high elf who is racist against wood elves would consider loving a drow if this was the case?

This leaves Wyll, which... honestly, I'm not sure how to categorise him.

Wyll is selfless. He always assumes you're going to choose the other person in Act 2 and bids you farewell, saying how the dance you shared will be a nice memory.

He focuses on his love for you, not owning you, not being possessive, but genuine overflowing love and poems. I think Wyll might be open to being poly but not just with anyone, it would have to be someone he loves as deeply as you.

*cough* Karlach Tav Wyll poly *cough* WE WERE ROBBED

Also, you were very kind and polite in your ask. It's really refreshing <3. Thank you for being so understanding and thoughtful.

[hypnotisedfireflies]

Fic Writery Thing

I haven't done this one in awhile. Thanks for tagging me, @adhdprincess!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 22! 2. What's your total AO3 word count? 967,602 3. What fandoms do you write for? These days, just TLOU, but I used to write a lot of LOTR, DW, SW ... there used to be variety. 4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Drifter's Dawn Snowqueen of Texas Drifter's Dusk If On a Clear Day A Door Once Opened 5. Do you respond to comments? Yep, always! 6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Probably Dawn, I guess? 7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? ... The Legend of Charro? 8. Do you get hate on fics? I don't get hateful comments, no. 9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yeah, I write smut, but it's usually plot-driven. I'm not writing smutty one-shots these days. 10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? No, not my jam. 11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yeah, and it was a fic I'd taken down, and the person had only posted as many chapters as they'd saved and swapped the fandoms. That was pretty hurtful, because they'd obviously liked my fic enough to save it, and it was in a very obscure fandom so I guess they thought nobody would see it and tell me. Also, readers really liked the story and were heaping praise on this person for it. Ouch. I contacted AO3. 12. Have you ever had a fic translated? No. 13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yeah, I love collaborative fic writing. 14. What’s your all time favorite ship? I don't deal in absolutes, okay. :p 15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? If On a Clear Day, but that's only because I lost all my notes and I have no idea where that story was going anymore. 16. What are your writing strengths? I'm persistent. 17. What are your writing weaknesses? I'm persistent. 18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Big yes! Thank you @bignosebushybrows who translates my Spanish dialogue in Snowqueen and makes the story so much richer for it, and to @flckrsoflight who translates into French for IO. With their help, I can add a layer of detail and authenticity I cannot achieve myself. xx (Can I also point out the work they actually put into it? Neither just blindly translates, they check with me for context and make sure it has the right flow and meaning, and say things like, 'okay but it would make more sense if...' etc. So like, major effort and care goes into it.) 19. First fandom you wrote for? I want to say Star Wars? By it honestly may have been Police Rescue. 20. Favourite fic you’ve written? That absolutes thing again! I really don't know. I try to challenge myself in a different way in each, so I feel they've each got favourite components for me?

Tagging @march-flowerr @seethesunny @ameerawrites@oliviassunrise

[gamingtrashbasin]

Current Stardew Valley ships

I'm including characters from Ridgeside Village and Expanded mods bc they are canon in my heart 💕

Maru x Sam

Girl boss and her himbo, need I say more? They have to have interacted since Sam is Seb's friend! Classic crush on older brother's friend. Also I think Sam would be super creative and everytime he was like "what if-" Maru would try to invent the thing. Complete chaos. Demetrius tries to threaten Sam like he does the farmer but it completely goes over Sam's head. This pairing lives in my head rent free.

Hailey x Leah

I can definitely see the two of them having multiple forest meet cutes and bonding over their passion for art! Just picture Hailey teaching Leah how to photograph and Leah teaching Hailey to paint and scuplt, both leaning new crafts together. They totally end up running a joint etsy and presenting their works at the fair! They make such a cute cottagecore couple fr if you think about it. I think they'd adopt a bunny don't ask me why. 🐰

Jeric (RSV) x Alex

Yessss himbo rivals to lovers! Ever since I saw there was a mod for them to get together I've been sold. It's canon to me.

Philip (RSV) x Sophia (SDVE)

Sophia enjoys anime, manga, and cosplay. Phillip has a secret geeky side and loves comics. I can totally see these two making awkward small talk at the Stardrop Saloon that turns into Gus politely asking them to leave because they got so enthralled discussing their favorites that they lost track of time and everything else going on around them and now the Saloon is empty and about to close lol. They end up having a slow burn geeky friends to lovers featuring them sharing copies of manga/comics and discussing the latest episodes of their favorite shows. Gus definitely ships it and gives them a nudge here and there.

Flor (RSV) x Gunther

The slowest slow burn. They are both autism creatures. I can completely see them bonding over their special interests bc if you think about it, archeologists and psychologists both study people. Just imagine them infordumping to each other on coffee dates in the Log Cabin Café or discussing the implications of newly discovered artifacts in the museum after hours. They are basically married before either one works up the nerve to ask the other on a date. The whole valley quietly ships it.

Shiro (RSV) x Harvey

Hear me out: Former paratrooper in recovery being treated by a doctor who wanted to be a pilot? There is no way they didn't talk about planes and Shiro's experiences. Shiro probably enjoyed that someone was talking to him about his interests instead of his injuries, it likely made him feel *normal again for awhile. I can just picture the moment when Harvey shows Shiro his radio equipment when he's well enough to go up the stairs, it's a big moment for them both for many reasons 🥺 Also, the added drama of having a crush on your doctor/patient...

*I'm not saying Shiro isn't normal, he has in game dialogue expressing he doesn't feel normal bc of his injuries. As a person with mobility issues myself I understand that mindset and how hard it is not to feel that way.

[nezz-cringe-crib]

growing up is realizing that dipcifica was actually a pretty damn good ship and holy shit i totally misjudged this pairing.

i never really liked dipcifica mainly because of how it got represented by the fandom, but looking back on it, it would've made a lot of sense and it would've been beneficial for both of them to date each other. and even in a completely platonic sense, their dynamic worked well enough that they could've done a lot more together.

dipper is a very nerdy awkward guy, clearly. he likes solving mysteries and sometimes he gets a little in over his head because of it. and his silly little awkward teenage love life reflects all of these things. that little shrimp was disney's #1 simp, it's actually insane. whenever he'd start to fall for a girl it'd end up going pretty terribly because he'd have no idea how to just act like himself and he'd also become a little bit of a jerk. (i'm not trying to like dog on dipper btw. he's just a kid and these are all understandable flaws, especially at his age and at the time period gravity falls took place in). however, with pacifica, a lot of these flaws are manageable solely because of how they're introduced to each other. dipper hates pacifica at first and wants nothing to do with her, but eventually they're forced to work together and realize "huh. we actually make a really good team." for dipper, this gradual building of a relationship is really beneficial to him. he wouldn't just go head-first into simping for some random girl and he'd also learn to respect her as a person and realize when he's being a little bit of a dick. being with pacifica, platonically or romantically (though personally i think romantically would strengthen their pros more but thats just my personal taste), would've helped dipper become a better person.

this goes for pacifica as well. pacifica's homelife is extremely controlling and it's what groomed her into becoming the mean girl that she's first presented as. as the show continues though, it's clear that she doesn't really want to be mean to anybody. she only acts spoiled because she doesn't know what else she can act like. she wants to connect to people but she's been so forced into this fake rich life that she has no idea how to be genuine with anybody. that's why her having a connection to dipper is so important. dipper is a little blunt, and he especially won't hide that from pacifica because he initially hates her and her family's lifestyle, so this'll eventually help pacifica realize "oh shit. i'm kind of a dick. my family are kind of huge dicks." and we do end up seeing this from her in "Northwest Mansion Mystery". she learns how to be herself, learns who "herself" even means, and learns to stand up for who she is when she figures that out. also pacifica's pretty damn smart???? especially socially???? she could absolutely help dipper do a lot of things when it comes to mystery solving, and with her status it'll most likely be things that dipper could never pull off and never even thought about because that's just what he's used to. they'd both end up learning a lot from each other because they'd be dragged into environments that they're not familiar with, but the other is. and their different perspectives/lifestyles would help the other view their environment in a new light.

not only is their relationship genuinely really beneficial to the both of them, but i also just know that their dialogue and scenes with each other would be so damn silly i can't not say yes to it anymore. i also just personally like headcanoning them both as bisexual so that's a plus for me.

anyways, tldr: i was wrong about dipcifica and its actually really good, i just think people should really analyze their relationship more since the way the fandom presents it (or how ive personally seen the fandom present it) is a little icky and shallow at least in my opinion. yay for dipcifica being silly little goobers :3

[lavender-lotion]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

How many works do you have on ao3?

868, which is bonkers???

What's your total ao3 word count?

2,445,126 words! I'm aiming for 5mil within the next decade haha

What fandoms do you write for?

CURRENTLY I am (only) writing teen wolf fic! it's so strange to be back where I started, but it's also been really nice coming back to all these familiar characters

Top five fics by kudos:

1. (baby) maybe that matters more - Steter, 40k

2. The Perceptions of You and I - Seter, 5k

3. With You, I Belong - Stalion, 59k

4. Mates and Marriage Proposals - Steter, 15k

5. Breathing You In - Steter, 29k

... should I just call myself a steter writer at this point?

Do you respond to comments?

yes!! all the time. literally nothing brings me as much joy as comments do

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I reaaaaally don't write a lot of angst, but one of the unhappiest fics I've ever written is probably this one?

And Now? - Stetopher, 300 words

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

there actually isn't one fic I would say that fits this? I primarily write schmoop, so a lot of my fic would count as having very happy endings! p

Do you get hate on fics?

oooooooh yeah babes. I've gotten some mean comments lol

Do you write smut?

yes! not a favourite thing of mine, but I do write it here and there. I recently wrote a fic w/ smut that I really really liked it!

keep me warm in the cradle of your skin - Sterekira, 7k

Craziest crossover:

ooooh this is actually SUCH an easy answer for me! it's 100% this one teen wolf/x-men cross over (possibly my only one?) where Logan (wolverine) knew the sheriff from the way when they'd been lovers and he goes to find him, and stiles is a lil jean grey esque character. I think about this thing allllll the time, too. I freaking love it.

what-ifs (don’t fuckin’ matter to no one) - Logan (X-Men)/Sheriff Stilinski, 2k

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I have actually! I only know of one for sure, and it was a stackson fic that someone had reposted to ao3? im so glad I found it (I think someone sent it to me?) and I was able to report it and get it taken down!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! I love it, it's such a crazy labour of love. if you wanna translate my work, just send me a link so I can see it!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

me & @flightinflame co-wrote an almando series where we wrote the same fic from different pov's which was a suuuuuper super fun experience! I've started a few other co-writes, but unfortunately they've never taken off and gone anywhere :(

there's nothing i wouldn't do to make you feel my love - Almando, 27k

All time favourite ship?

nope. nope nope nope I don't knowwwwwww

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

oh!! this is marked completed on ao3 now because honestly, I'm never going to finish it, but I love love love the premise of this one and I always wished I had finished it

Love Thy Family - Stilinskicest, 12k

What are your writing strengths?

this is soooo tricky lol I hate talking about myself. I would say probably dialogue! I also really like how I write romance, specifically getting together works, and I think I do a good job at nailing down the feelings that go along with them!

What are your writing weaknesses?

settings. actions. plot. I hate plot!

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I used to use a looooot more than I do now, and I would use google translate. it's never GREAT, so I mostly avoid it now. I'll translate like, a single sentence every now and again, but I don't do a lot with it anymore.

as for how I feel about it as a reader - as long as I can figure out what's going on from context clues, I really don't mind it!

First fandom you wrote in?

Percy Jackson & the Olympians!

To Long For Lust - Percico, 3k

Favorite fic you've written?

this is sooooo hard and so unfair and so difficultimpossiblehorrible to answer. if I had to pick one, gun to my head, it would currently be poly fic. it's the longest, plotiest, most developed thing I've ever written, and if nothing else, it's shown me that I can write things I've never imagined being able to write! once im done act 4, I wanna print it out lol

lift our faces, together, towards the glistening - Stisaackson, 159k

@lucky-bishop @mirrorthoughts @thotpuppy @like-lazarus @rosieposiepuddingnpie @kordyceps @whimsicalmeerkat

[throwaway-yandere]

Hana Yori Dango (Arataki Itto/Reader/Yan!Kamisato Ayato)

A/n: Eyoo it's Feb 3, the Setsubun festival should be happening rn!!! Idk how I thought it was feb when I uploaded this on SEPTEMBER. Anywahs, ily Itto. He's not a full-blown yandere here (yet?) but he is my– OUR himbo, comrade. Writing Itto's dialogues is a delight. I took some inspiration and ideas from @leftdestiny-posts and the itto/gorou enjoyer anon for this one! (both characters are technically here but... haha...) Thanks for the ideas ehehe >:D

gn!reader. This is Itto's side story for "Careful, He Bites.", so everything is in his perspective. Maybe it could be read as a stand-alone (?) if you haven't read the previous one for extra mystery lololol. 

An Unreliable Synopsis: There is another thing besides you and your flowers that Itto can't live without, and it's good fricking food. (Fic happens before "Careful, He Bites")

Cw: yandere!ayato, Japanese folklore, and pure biker gang leader!itto supremacy.

--------

--------

Around the time Emperor Takakura reigned in the country, there lived an old farmer who wouldn't move a hair away from Yamashiro Province. 

They were gentle, and their neighbors consistently portrayed them as extremely dense. They did not care to dream big for themselves, and opted to worry only about the plate they'll have once the sun sets.  They didn't pay attention to whispers that would soon become the country's history; they hardly heard of the latest gossip regarding Taira no Tokuko. They lived blissfully secluded and unaware, and it was the life they chose to live.

Unaware may not be the best word to describe them, but unaffected.

███ was alone in their household with no spouse to care for them nor children to raise, and in turn, no one thought to accompany them.

Yet ███ never once considered themselves lonely. The moonlight may wax and wane, but the monsters that lurk nearby would never leave them pondering in the dark.

The moon was beautiful that night, too.

"–Won't you be a dear and fetch me a bottle of sake?" 

Their voice echoed inside the empty and dilapidated house. The █████ Clan had long been silent, so no human would answer their calls.

"HAHAHAHA!!! Off to drink again, eh? Leave it to the one and oni Arataki Itto to keep you company!"

But a yokai might.

This particular yokai, Arataki Itto, had grown accustomed to pouring drinks for the farmer, in a way, they consider him their grandson. Itto sat by the floor beside them. He was small in stature, not much taller than their knee, but they considered his heart to be much bigger than an average human's. So, how could they ever turn down his offer of joining his cute little gang?

"But seriously, grand-y," Itto grinned. "I don't understand why you drink so much when you could never beat me in a drinking competition."

And oftentimes, a bigger heart comes with a bigger pride.

"Oh, Itto..." The old farmer gently ruffled the young oni's hair. "You ought not to be proud of such a feat! You're too young to be downing these drinks."

"But grand-y!"

"Do not argue with me, young oni."

"Why not, especially when you sound like a total sore loser?"

"Wha–?"

"Bleeuuugh."

The oni stuck his tongue out.

The farmer sighed, endeared.

Itto wasn't happy with the way they'd been acting over the previous month. Their movements have become terse and rigid since they returned from visiting Yae Miko. And right now, they're being awfully silent for a drunk person. Itto also didn't like how their clan's Kagura Bell Wand is also neatly boxed on top of the table with the kitsune's name on it. It's as if they're planning to give their family heirloom away. Does that mean no purification spells are working on their illness?

"Yo, grand-y. Is something up?"

He doubted it was because of ordinary human struggles. Their father had long perished in a failed rebellion and their mother had hopelessly succumbed to an undiagnosed illness. She left her child the heavy weight of carrying a disgraced Clan's name. Almost nothing can trouble the farmer. 

The farmer succeded most of their previous hardships. If "succeeded" also meant abandoning the Kuruma-dera temple and becoming a recluse entangled with yokai, then the old Sojo would be rolling in his grave right now. But the point is, Itto doesn't think the old farmer would act this way simply because of a menial problem like relationships and lack of entertainment.

"Oh, nothing. I am just... Pondering over my distant relatives' wellbeing. Nothing too personal."

"Do ya want to visit them? I can help you pack up! I've been getting stronger!!!"

The imperial court may be their cousin's home, but it is not their place to stay. Especially for a hakaiso like them. If their cousin wasn't merciful the usual Banishment Laws would've been in full effect on their trial and they'd be sent to Izu Province. They don't want to burden their subordinate clan-- the Kaedehara clan-- more with their presence.

So they digressed.

"Itto, I want you to have this."

They procured a small violet flower from the vase on top of their table. Itto's nose scrunched. The child never expressed any interest in flowers, so their affectionate gesture doesn't reach him.

"Eh? What am I gonna do with that, grand-y?" Itto was visibly unimpressed. 

"I have something to ask of you, won't you take this as a reward for that request?"

"HMPH! I don't even know what the request is!"

"Ahh... Fair point." 

They gazed at the moon.

"Can you look after the Kamisato siblings for me?"

The young oni tilted his head. Why would they ask that? The two bakenekos are already capable of taking care of themselves anyways. Particularly the oldest. Itto often played with Ayato, and all their games ended with the cat outsmarting him one way or another. The only fault Ayato had was being overtly clingy and jealous whenever another yokai steals their attention. 

"But why? It's not like Ayato needs help--"

"I'll be leaving soon."

"--raising his sis– HAAAAAH?!"

They cleared their throat.

"As a human, it still feels as though I'm abandoning my pets, even if they are intellectual yokais who can handle themselves. I'm worried about Ayato especially, he'll probably carry the weight of the world on his shoulders even if he could share the load. Our little himegimi doesn't even have a proper name yet." They muttered, melancholic.

"Hold up grand-y oni! Where are you going?! You're just going out of town... right?"

They laughed humorlessly and patted his head once more. "It won't be long. I'm sure I'll crawl home to you in a few more years. Don't cry, young oni."

So it's not a visit to the capital, it's...

Itto gulped.

"What... What did miss Miko say?"

"It doesn't matter. I am already tired of thinking about talking about it, what more if we discussed the subject?" They shook their head. By the sound of it, they refuse to talk not because of the emotional strain, but because successfully explaining things to someone like Itto would take too much effort.

"NO! Let's talk about iiiiiiiiitttt!!!" He incessantly tugged on their sleeves. "Is it your heart again?! As your gang leader, I already ordered you to stop purging wraiths!!"

They gave him a small, patient smile. For a brief, enchanting moment, it was as if the world slowed just for the oni to process an epiphany.

They tucked a wisteria behind his tiny ear.

"The moon is beautiful. Itto, thank you for making me the first member of your gang." They closed their eyes, breathing shallowly.

And then, a complete yet abrupt silence.

"Grand-y...?"

Young Arataki Itto lightly shook the old farmer.

"Grand-y?"

Young Arataki Itto shook them a bit more forcefully.

"Grand-y oni?!"

They didn't reply.

"GRAND-Y ONI!?"

Young Arataki Itto helplessly yanked them by their collar.

"GRAND-Y ONI!!!"

-----

"(Y/N)!!!"

You toppled forward as a heavy weight pressed forcefully against your back. 

"Oomph– Goodness– Itto?" 

"Oh, thank God you're alive!" He sobbed.

Arataki Itto, your best bud, wept over your shoulder. You did not shove him away. Itto is way too strong for you, and you wouldn't ask him to carry rice sacks for you if that weren't the case. 

Itto had always been an obnoxious eccentric, often barging into your flower shop and leaving his muddy footsteps on the floor without any reservations until you surprisingly snapped. You commanded him in silent anger that he should make himself more useful to society. Hearing your low-toned voice was the scariest experience Itto had. Itto swears it was downright traumatizing. Distraught, he begged to be your "temporary" delivery boy to calm your nerves. His plan worked. 

You pay him generously for his service, especially since he is missing his birth certificate and therefore can't be employed officially, but that doesn't change the fact that your floors are still muddy now that he's always back.

Itto squished his cheek against your neck as he bawled. You first assumed he was here for his part-time job but he's more interested in sharing his story. You accepted your fate and listened to the biker's performance.

"You would not BELIEVE what kinda nightmare I had last night– like hoo boy, it was INTENSE!"

"Is that so?" You chuckled, slowly diverting your attention back to your previous task, which was watering your plants.

"Trust me, man! It was so strange, it felt like it was some premonition from a distant past or something."

"I'm almost certain that premonition refers to an omen of what might happen in the future, but do go on."

"I can't remember the details, but apparently I was talking to this old farmer– and then they died in my arms! Like bleugh!" Itto bit his tongue and closed his eyes, trying to mimic what the corpse did but it's obviously an exaggeration. "I don't even remember what we were talking about, but I felt so small."

"Oh, wow. How horrifying." You spoke with your voice dripping with disinterest.

It kinda blows that you see him as just an annoying kid-like figure, but at least you let him pull you close like this. Maybe you'd compliment his muscles one day (or not, he lowkey skips arm exercises).

"Right?! Get this– the old grandperson-guy gave me a sumire! A FLOWER!!!"

"This is most certainly the first time you're excited about flowers. Hmm..." You placed a finger on your chin. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but are your dreams trying to tell me that violets will sell well this season or...?"

You cast a glance at your reserved flower stock. Because none of them are violets, it appears that you cannot tease him by offering a bouquet. You would've joked about sending some to his funeral, but Itto is rattled enough without your misplaced sense of humor.

"What?! DUDE! Why is that your interpretation?!"

"It might be because I happen to be a florist, Itto."

Itto looked back at your flowers with an open-mouth expression that says "oh, right." 

He quietly noticed that most of your flowers have become more colorful since Ayato began generously giving you bonemeal as gifts. He sent jars nearly the size of a skull. It was pretty creepy. Nobody knows what that gentleman meant when he said he personally acquired and ground those bones for you, but at least they're great fertilizers.

"Well, yeah, I guess. But that's beside the point, compadre! I'm telling you all this because I wanna know what sumire, violets, mean in flower language or somethin'!"

"Violets in our country are often given as a sign of gratitude or love. Perhaps the old figure in your dreams only wishes to thank you before they regret not doing so." You sighed. Itto noticed how you looked perplexed amidst your ramblings, as though you were remembering something you shouldn't have. "Your fear of ghosts is seriously affecting your wellbeing, Itto. I fear that your cowardice will affect you one day."

...

'Itto, thank you for making me the first member of your gang.'

...

Itto shuddered. 

Nope. No way. There's no way that dude was a ghost.

"W-What?! Me? Afraid of GHOSTS?! HA!" He laughed emptily. "No way."

He paused, eyeing you with his face going way past your comfortable personal space.

"And you know, (Y/n)... Now that I took a good look at ya, you kinda look like the old person from my dreams."

The two of you went silent.

You chucked a half-filled plastic watering can directly into his head.

"OW!!! What was that for?!"

"Old-fashioned as my speech and knowledge of the world may be, that does not mean I appear old myself, thank you very much!"

"WHAT?! I didn't mean it like THAT! C'mon, (Y/n)!" Itto blew a raspberry beside your neck. "I wasn't saying that. I was thinking about how you have this wholesome grandpa or granny type of vibe-- not saying that you're cute-- well I mean, you are cute-- but not in a MEAN way-- like, you're giving endgame lover vibes--"

You gently pushed Itto's hug away and passed on the next batch of flowers before he spirals when defending himself. It's a trick you used against him frequently, which helps you drown out Itto's nonsensical ramblings that are often borderline flirting. He doesn't seem to notice that he'd take anything off your hands whenever he's speaking. Doing this prevents him from realizing that you're asking him to deliver flowers to a sleazy love hotel. You have to thank his biker gang's deputy leader– Kuki Shinobu– for that "life hack."

"This next bouquet is for a client in Kabukicho. Paimon was kind enough to inform me that there is a 10% possibility of rain, but it might pick up by 6 pm so use caution."

Itto furrowed his thick eyebrows. It's cute how you talk like P.A.I.M.O.N is as a person but– "It's just an AI..."

You shrugged.

"Any friend of Lumine is a friend of mine."

Itto perked up. Lumine. It's been a while since the three of you had the pleasure of spending the afternoon indulging in sweets with her in Bistro Ichiya. He wondered how she's been lately. 

She stopped responding to your calls the same summer you all became friends with Ayato. Itto thought it was such a bizarre turn of events. It lead you to wonder if your inadequate knowledge of technology had put on quite a formidable communication barrier, but it turns out your mutuals were unable to talk to her as well. Even Yoimiya offhandedly mentioned that it had always been in Lumine's nature to travel and forget her previous commitments. 

You highly doubted that Lumine would let it go this far, however. It's been half a year. You had been casual friends for longer than that and know that she's not as fickle as dandelion seeds. 

Itto pities your faith in her.

"... Still no calls?"

"Unfortunately no." You sighed. "Not even Paimon knows where she ended up in all her traveling endeavors."

"I'll try searching TeyvatBook again for you."

"Thank you. 'Surfing' the web must be incredibly taxing for both you and your device. I appreciate the effort, Arataki. Do make sure to replenish your phone's energy afterward."

You have the intonation of an aged soul. Itto assumed he'd be used to your manner of speech by now, but it's so eerily similar to the elderly person in his nightmares that it's bordering on the uncanny valley. He wouldn't be astonished if you were ever a docile monk in your past life.

"G-Geez. You make it seem like P.A.I.M.O.N's human. Kinda freaky."

Your silk-like laughter filled the gaps of silence, drowning his distress. 

"I am the type of florist who believes talking to plants helps their growth, aren't I?"

Itto smiled softly.

"Yeah... Yeah, I guess you are, grand-y."

-------------------

"Call me later, big guy~–"

"Thank you for your purchase, have a nice day!" 

That was the last order for today. Itto would've boasted as usual, but he has your best interest at heart, so he refrained from doing so to keep a good name for the Sakura Bloom flower shop. Following a script is out of character from a man like Itto, but he did most of what you commanded effortlessly. 

On a side note: he looked quite adorable sporting a little green apron– clearly your size– instead of his usual bad-boy leather jacket. The look barely complimented his muscles but he's confident that he's still oozing charisma. He can't be too sure though-- he'll gel his hair extra later, and MAYBE you would say he's smokin'. 

Itto stepped away from the hotel's porch and walked toward his bike. he never would've guessed you take customers from this side of Shinjuku too. That lady earlier was unforgettably promiscuous, to say the least. As he was about to comb his hair and reach for his helmet, he stopped abruptly.

"Hol' up– Was that Ayato?"

It was unmistakably him. He looked off, though. Itto only saw him for like a split second from afar but Ayato's expression looked nothing like the gentle warm smile he usually sports.  Seeing Ayato without you nearby is rare since the man frequently accompanies you in public like a servant or a pet. That's not to say that Ayato lacks a social life. It's just that Itto never had the opportunity to speak with him one-on-one.

Itto became excited simply thinking about it, and the thought of asking why Ayato would be seen in the red light area didn't occur to him. Instead, he had another priority in mind.  He always wanted to know where Ayato got his niku-dango ingredients because he wouldn't answer when you asked Ayato or Thoma (but Thoma looked nauseous that day, so Itto couldn't blame the guy). Itto didn't care for the meat dango's recipe, but the ingredients made it delectable—the pork especially! If he was being poetic, it tasted nostalgic. It was as though he had relished in it fresh from his muddled memories. And he's craving for more.

He left his bike and ran after him just before the light turned from yellow to red. But when he reached the other side he couldn't find a hint of his light blue hair amongst the crowd. 

Itto cursed to himself as quietly as he could muster, still aware that he was wearing your apron. 

"You..."

He spun around. The voice didn't sound anything like Ayato's, but the tone pointed at him. The stranger wore an obi that did not match the century he was in and two protruding azure horns that were hard to miss. It was like he came out of a Setsubun festival. Yet, for some inexplicable reason, Itto felt as if those horns were real and not at all out of place.

"Arataki Itto." The stranger's nose scrunched, voice dripping with unadulterated disdain. "The pathetic red oni that stained our pride just for a sinful runin." 

Itto stared back, his face blank and his eyes hollow.

"...Takuya."

Itto froze as the name slipped out of his mouth. How did he know his name? And why is he so sure that's his name?

"How was it? How was the taste? Was it as good as you remembered?"

"I... Who are you, man?!"

Itto already knew his name. He knew he just said his name but he still asked out loud because he couldn't understand what the hell is going on. 

"Why don't you still remember...?"

Takuya seemed at a total loss on what else to say, unlike his heavily contorted expression. 

Arataki Itto is for being easily provoked, and Takuya took advantage of his simple flaw.

"It's been years since you made the deal. Why don't you remember who you were– who you are? Don't you remember the pact?!"

"Theeee– what now?"

Don't get him wrong, Itto feels guilty but he's stumped. He doesn't know what he's guilty of exactly, and this man isn't doing him any favors by continuing this guessing game.

"You promised– you red onis made an oath that you will live ALONGSIDE humans. Why did you eat them? Why did you start living AS a human?!"

Itto's breath hitched at the sound of Takuya's screaming, causing him to nervously run his fingers through his hair. As he reached for his scalp, a phantom pain seared where two things should've been. 

"... The hell you talking about, man? Are you a chuunibyo or something?" His voice came off as hoarse and strained, reflecting that an invisible force is harming him in ways he can't prove to himself or others.  

Takuya sucked air between his teeth. But just as he was about to break down his list of grievances, another voice interrupted the conversation.

"Ah, there you are, my friend! I have been looking everywhere for you."

The two stopped and Takuya froze. It was almost as if the stranger shrank as the taps of footsteps amplified in each stride. 

"Oh, my bro Ayato. There you are." Itto faintly greeted him.

The third person smiled weakly. 

Ayato always had excellent timing, it seemed. He curved a hand above Itto's shoulder and gave the stranger a cloudy sideways glance. His eyes were trained on the person in front of them, and in response, Takuya stood defensively. The horned "man" stepped back, preparing to sprint, while Ayato inserted two more steps into his space. 

Ayato got in between both Itto and the stranger faster and more forceful than what the biker gang leader anticipated.

His voice was similar to yours when he spoke. It was dangerously low with unmatched vigor and sharpness above all else. "Excuse me, sir, but we're in a hurry. We will be taking our leave immediately."

Takuya nearly sighed in relief as the elegant man shut down the possibility of continuing a conversation. His trembling form bowed quickly while his foot was already turned in the opposite direction. They have to have known each other. Itto had never considered himself as astute, and yet he discovered that this "Takuya" isn't the real threat out of the three of them. 

It was none other than Kamisato Ayato. 

"Y-Yes... Yes, of course, sir. Farewell."

Takuya scurried away.

...

What was that all about?

What kind of stunts did Ayato pull around Shinjuku for him to come off as intimidating without his knowledge? Itto furrowed his eyes as he looked at Ayato's back. Children don't even find Itto scary, and he had the stereotypical troublemaker look. Ayato appears kind and gentle, maybe a bit standoffish, but his soft appearance shouldn't be able to scare some weird grunt away.

Ayato turned to face him. 

Ah. So that's why.

His look of displeasure changed Itto's misconceptions immediately.

Ayato softened his expression once he realized Itto was staring, dumbfounded. He chuckled and tapped the biker's shoulder as if reminding him that the scary look wasn't aimed at him. Itto laughed nervously. Sure, it wasn't, but he made a mental note not to piss Ayato off, ever.

From that, Itto learned that Ayato can be as scary as you when he wants to be.

This man definitely got a dark side. Noted.

"Hey, uh, Ayato, did you see that?"

The light-haired man gave him an indifferent stare. "Saw what, exactly?"

"He had horns, my guy." 

Itto began ruffling the top of his head– something he normally wouldn't do since he adores his hair– and created two triangular air shapes. His friend watched him, amused, but perplexed about what he was trying to communicate.

"Like, that dude got those devil horns going on– don't tell me you haven't seen it!"

"Hmm." Ayato hummed, a small grin plastered on his face. 

"What would you do if I said I haven't seen anything? You're not afraid of yokai, aren't you?"

"What– C'MON!!!" Itto groaned loudly. "NOT YOU TOO– GAH!!! What's with you and (Y/n) today– enough with this "oooh-you're-afraid-of-this-aren't-yooouu" bullcrap! HELLO?!? I'm ARATAKI NUMERO UNO ITTO! Monsters and ghosts should be afraid of ME."

Ayato closed his eyes and shook his head, but his sly smile had not left his face. "Ah right, my apologies. How could I forget the unsurmountable one and oni Itto, how foolish of me."

"Exactl–..."

One and oni?

Itto both liked and didn't like the sound of that. Much like the taste of Kamisato Ayato's food, the phrase itched the nostalgic part of his brain. He couldn't tell where he first heard it. Ayato didn't even look like he made a mistake in saying "oni" instead of "only", rather, it slipped out of his tongue so naturally. Like he was hoping Itto would catch on to whatever he was implying.

Well, he didn't. He had no idea where Ayato was getting at and he only has about 2 brain cells left after that terrible migraine.

"And don't even joke about yokai stuff! I don't wanna get bad luck this Setsuban Festival." 

Ayato raised an eyebrow.

"...I thought you were allergic to beans?"

"Yeah I am," Itto said. "And that's precisely I don't want any bad vibes for tomorrow. Can't have beans to save me from those onis, you know?"

Ayato muttered something Itto didn't hear.

"So you aren't fully human yet as well, hmm..."

"Say, why are you in the red light district? Don't tell me you're picking chicks around here."

Ayato refrained from rolling his eyes while Itto laughed.

"I'm not here for that, I'm trying to find a sist-- my little sister."

"Oh, oh! Tag me in! Lemme help. What does your sister look like?"

He appeared troubled when Itto volunteered to help. Ayato carefully chose his next words.

"She's shy and quite the formidable escapist. You wouldn't be able to find her unless you're looking at every nook and cranny."  

"Sounds like bullshit."

Ayato technically didn't lie.

Itto continued. "Do you have a sister complex or something? Bro, I won't do anything to her. Just give me a description."

He shrugged. "Himegimi looks like me."

"Well, duh, of course, she does. Can't you be more specific? Like her height, hair, and eye color maybe--"

"Never mind it. Once she's tired of searching, she'll be back home soon enough."

"But, dude, your little sister is in the RED LIGHT DISTRICT! Aren't you worried--"

"She'll be fine."

"But men would--"

"She's small, they won't notice her."

Itto's unsure whether Ayato's brain is too advanced or he's acting stupid because that answer didn't make sense at all. Aren't smaller girls supposed to be in more danger around these parts? His head hurt. He always treated anyone smaller than him as kiddos-- and he can't imagine a kid can protect themselves from kidnappers.

Suddenly, they heard a strangle rumbling nearby.

Ayato looked at Itto and his stomach accusably. 

He scratched his neck with a snobbish frown.

"Fiiiiine, I take it back. I'm hungry so I'll leave you searching for your sister. Alone. Without my help. At all."

Ayato, familiar with his antics by now, started leading Itto to walk alongside him.

"You're in luck then. I was planning to cook today. I haven't ordered Thoma to butcher the meat yet– but we will tonight. Perhaps you'd want to join me for dinner?"

"Holy shit, are you making those niku-dangos again?"

He nodded.

"For real? Hold on, let me tell grand-y first." He began messaging you.  

"Haha, so you're back to calling our (Y/n) "Grand-y", I see."

Itto looked up from his phone. "Back to?"

Our?

Ayato nodded solemnly. Once again, he had that look that hints that he's trying to get Itto to remember something on his own, but Itto REALLY doesn't have the patience at this point. He's so dog-tired plus he's starving. Itto doesn't have time for any more mind games, whether it's that Takuya guy or Ayato. 

Itto was surprised that you replied fast. Albeit, it was the default thumbs-up emoji and you might've mis-tapped but nu-uh, no takebacks allowed here, boss! Itto giggled like a preschooler as he bombarded you with smug Thank You stickers and emojis while you were (very slowly) typing a reply. 

"From that look on your face, I am guessing that they agreed."

"Hell yeah, man! I can't wait to grab a bite of that sweet sweet taste of perfection, baby! C'mon, free delicious food? Count me in!"

"Wonderful."

Kamisato Ayato's lips contorted into a Cheshire cat-like grin. 

"Let's eat him, together."

--------

Glossary: 

Dango over flowers/hana yori dango: means "substance over style" or preferring a practical gift over something superficial.

Hakaiso: a monk who had sinned/had been considered depraved.

Himegimi: word for princess.

Sojo: a high-ranking Buddhist priest.

Setsubun Festival: a festival focused on purging houses of misfortune (b e a n s), often associated with oni imagery.

Runin: an exiled individual.

[wingsonghalo]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @cnnmonbimee! Thank you for the tag!! Read her awesome answers here!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 66! More than I thought were on there tbh!

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? Uhhh apparently it's 684,757! Less than I thought!

3. What fandoms do you write for? In order of most fics to least: Ace Attorney, JSHK, My Hero Academia, Mob Psycho 100, Homestuck, Hunter x Hunter, Phineas and Ferb, and Supernatural. I've also written a lot of Pokemon stuff, but somehow that has escaped Ao3 despite it being my longest fandom LOL. Working on a Pokemon SV one currently though 👀

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? Project: Matchmakers (shocker, I know), Sleep (Too) Tight (It's always been slowly but steadily popular), Force of Habit (bit of a surprise there honestly), Project: Matrimony (less surprising), and The Stuff of Dreams. So what I am seeing here is that no one leaves kudos on my JSHK or MP100 or MHA fics :') Some of these fics are one-shots, so it's kind of surprising! I wish PlayWright had gotten more attention; that fic killed me while I was writing it. I'm not giving number of kudos because I'm not comfortable with that and it makes me feel bad about myself haha,,,

5. Do you respond to comments? I try to! I've fallen behind on responding to them in the past 2 years or so because life has been so busy, though…

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Probably A Practice, For Now?? LMAO it's also my first JSHK and the one with the most kudos HMM COULD THIS FANDOM BE ADDICTED TO ANGST PERHAPS??! I don't write angst a lot!! What can I say, I'm a sucker for a happy ending.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Almost all of my fics end happily, LOL. Pick any of them that actually has an ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not commonly. I've gotten anon hate before about them on tumblr on rare occasions, but usually my comments on ao3 stay pretty nice.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I do sometimes, but I'm so shy about it that I rarely ever post it /)//w//(\ Usually I just share it among friends, haha!

10. Do you write crossovers? Nope, and I never will!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes. Someone tried to run Project: Matchmakers through a translator to hide the word matches and sell it as an ebook on Amazon, but they only bothered to hide it for chapter 1 so someone reported it to me and then in retaliation I started actually selling it on Amazon for the lowest price I could because the thief was trying to sell the shittier version for like 7 dollars LSFJ;AKLD. Read about the whole debacle here.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, quite a few! People have been great about asking me for permission! 💖

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes, here and there! Usually it's either fics where I have written one part and someone else has written another scene, or someone had me look over something they'd written and I added so much commentary or threw additional ideas at them so much that the story ended up changing and I somehow became a co-author, LOL.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Oh my god don't make me answer that ;alskdjfl;k. If I wrote a fic for them ever, they're my favorite. I have so many favorites that I've never written fics for, too.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? THE UNDERCOVER FIIIIIC [sobs] and also Left on Read hnnngh

16. What are your writing strengths? Emotions!! I'm super good at those! I'm also really strong at dialogue and banter, and making my writing kinda witty/funny.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Describing settings ;w; I write my scenes like I draw my art: in Descriptionless Blank Voids lkas;dlkf. I also struggle with the flow of action scenes sometimes, though I think they usually turn out okay if I spend enough time on them. I also probably use too many adverbs and adjectives, but y'know what? Fuck it I like my descriptive words thank you very much

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? As long as you're checking that it means what you think it means, or possibly asking a native speaker if you're unsure about context or need a sensitivity reader, I think it's fine. It annoys me if I have to check a footnote every other line, but if you can mostly understand it without a translation in context, it can be kinda nice! At least it says you're trying more than phonetically spelling out an accent, which--remember, kids!--is always cringe! 👍

19. First fandom you wrote for? On Ao3, it was Homestuck. On the internet in general, it was Animal Crossing and Pokemon, LOL.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? Don't make me cHOOSE BETWEEN MY BABIESSS 😭 I dunno man! Project: Matchmakers is my magnum opus, but the PlayWright is lowkey kind of a masterpiece, I love so many of my JSHK fics to bits and pieces, a lot of my MP100 and MHA fics are very special to me, I've been trying to write a HxH one for YEARS and have poured my heart into making it beautiful, just UGHHH every single one of my fics I have vivid memories of conceptualizing and working on and most of them are my favorite to some degree!

I tag @carochinha, @kittykatz009, @toastytoaster22, @ittybittytoostormy, and anyone else who would like to answer these questions!!