#also the genuine appreciation for the things that they're playing off of. the love is what makes the evil so impactful

[sunnywalnut]

Finished watching Dead Boy Detectives. Here are my honest thoughts.

-If you're going into it expecting another Good Omens, stop. Our protagonists are all minors. Teenagers. They cuss, they have total dirty mouths and sexual humor, but they are not eternal beings pretending to be middle aged men. They're ghosts. Dead Boys, if you will. Also this might be a stretch, but I'm assuming from the slightly less good CGI that the budget for this series was a LOT less than what it was for GO

-Edwin is kind of a dick in the first episode. But it's okay. Because character growth is swag.

-REALISTIC CHARACTER GROWTH!!! I liked Edwin a LOT more during the second episode BECAUSE of the character growth. And honestly? It's completely natural that bro is more than a little prickly after only being able to trust one guy for an extremely long time. Fair enough my guy. Carry on.

- this show kinda has Nimona vibes. If that makes sense. Witty humor, somewhat sexual dialogue, funny moments during serious times, though geared towards a younger audience. If you like those kinds of things, you will like this, I'm sure of it.

- In the early episodes, the pacing/character relationships feel a little off??? I'm not sure if that was because I was expecting another Good Omens or what. But after 2-3 episodes, the dust quickly settled and we got into the actual storyline. Which was extremely appreciated✨

-these villains are FUCKED up. I'm telling you. They are HORRIFIC. Had me squirming and cringing through their intense scenes. And gosh. That was a TRIP.

-TY TENANT PLAYS THE MAIN GUY EDWIN!!!! And he plays him WELL. I did not realize this going in to the show and thought his face was VERY familiar. Only after I looked it up did I realize why. He's our sassy son of Job. (EDIT: turns out Ty plays the Doom Patrol version. Not the one on Netflix. My bad! They do look pretty similar though, so ykw. Great casting. Also my point still stands. This guy is a pretty fuckin awesome actor. 10/10)

-Cat King is such a wild card holy SHIT.

-Charles is cute as fuck. His backstory HURTS. But also. I love the way his ears look. Like in the pictures that I saw of him they were of when the Cat King impersonated him so I was like oh chill. So he's got pointed ears bc feline but NOPE. He's just like that!! And honestly? Slay. I fuckin love it.

-oh did I mention tragic backstories???? Yeah we got those :D for everyone :D

-Niko is the best and I love her. Also I love how the letters on her desk are written in Japanese. That is a VERY nice touch of character building.

-hot butcher lady with throat tattoo

All in all. A truly delightful series and I genuinely hope it gets another season because I NEED to know what happens next. My little sister LOVED it and the ending had us all staring open mouthed at the TV screen in shock.

This 15yo girl is literally ranting my ear off, having adventures with the Dead Boys in her dreams and chatting with me about it, searching up fanfics and drawing fanart, the whole shabang. And it is DIFFICULT for this girl to get into shows like this. So honestly? This is perfect. Thank you, Neil. For giving us a whole other banger.

That being said. If anybody else has some younger siblings that are around 15-17 and are looking for shows to binge watch together, this is the perfect one. I'm telling you, you will NOT regret it (except maybe emotionally)

Thoroughly recommend.

[rockafirevevo]

i am very grateful for this new trend in internet horror that is just. childish thing that the creator clearly knows a lot about and has a genuine fondness for. but expanded on and turned dark in a thoughtful way

[chronicbeans]

Romantic Lucifer x Overly Kind and Sweet Sinner Reader Headcanons

I love him so much OMG. I wanted to play around with this dynamic to lol. Basically the exact opposite of the type of sinner he's probably used to seeing.

TW: Mentions of depression and anxiety, angst and fluff, mentions of past relationships

• Chances are, you're very much a dreamer. Any type of dream, too, not just the desire to strike change in the world around you. Be it daydreams, goals, hopes, or anything along those lines, you're probably a dreamer. Those characteristics in a person are what catches his attention. He used to be that type of person, before everything changed once he was cast out. Although he doesn't necessarily like dreaming, anymore, he can appreciate it when others do it. Now, most of his own dreams are just concerned worries for his daughter's safety, longings to fix his relationship with her, and creating the worst case scenarios for his life. It's pretty obvious why he doesn't like to dwell on his own dreams...

• Your dreams, however, are rather interesting to him. Especially since you are a sinner and were not born into Hell. He doesn't necessarily look at sinners very highly, however, you are pretty different. You aren't a bad person, or at least not as bad as the rest of the sinners he's met. And the things you dream of? They're amazing. It's not that they're something he's never heard of, either. It's just that he's never heard of them from a sinner, before, or anyone else in Hell.

• As odd as it sounds, your dreams, even if they're just stories you've dreamed up or a hope to better yourself in some small way, give him a little glimmer of hope. He lost all hope over the years of him being in Hell, in large part due to seeing the worst in humanity... The sinners. So, despite him feeling different towards you, don't expect him to actually like you. You also shouldn't expect him to actually feel very hopeful just by you being so different. It's more like a little piece of coal that's gotten a bit hot, but hasn't sparked or ben set alight, yet. He barely even notices it's there.

• What you should expect, however, is for him to spend more time around you. He wants to see you fail to change his mind, or live up to the tiny hope that you're different and can live up to fulfill your dreams. He wants to see you slip up and show that you're not really this kind person you show yourself to be, and then be able to go on his way proudly, knowing that his depressive views on sinners are right. He doesn't even have the intention of using it to prove to Charlie, his daughter, that sinners are irredeemable. He just wants to snuff out what little hope he has before it can stand up and hurt him in the long run.

• That's not the case, however. Not at all. Instead, you just keep being kind. You check into his daughter's hotel to try to better yourself. This results in him spending far more time at the Hazbin Hotel, since now you're there, as well as causing him to spend more time with Charlie. He watches you genuinely try to get better, give Charlie pep talks to lift her up when she's down, and even try to get along with Niffty. It's a truly strange sight to behold for him... A sinner who is so kind and relaxed. He's truly wondering why you are in Hell, at this point.

• Though, the breaking point is when he overhears a conversation between you and Charlie. One that involved how you heard about the Hazbin Hotel, how you met Lucifer, and why you decided to try to see if the hotel could help you. Shockingly, you list off the fact that you wanted to see if you visiting the hotel could bring Lucifer over to visit, since you had noticed how he seemed to hang around you, and you wanted to see if it could help him and Charlie spend more time together as a reason for you going to the hotel. That, alongside the generic reasons of wanting to better yourself, needing a roof over your head, and wanting to possibly see if you could go to Heaven.

• In that moment, he tenses up, looks over towards your direction for a brief moment, then pretends like he didn't hear a thing. He doesn't know how to respond to such a thing. It's so overwhelmingly... selfless of you to even think of the fact that you coming to the hotel would also have the chance of helping Charlie and himself. That, and he's also embarrassed of the fact that you noticed him showing up a bit more often in your life, despite you two still being acquaintances. Then again, thinking it through, it should've been obvious. Not only is he royalty, he is the Lucifer. Everybody has probably heard about him, or the whole story about the Garden of Eden. So, the snake and apple themes of his outfit do help people who do not know what he looks like be able to identify that it's him. He was that famous snake. He is Lucifer.

• That's when he finally decides to let himself hope. Not necessarily for himself, for any other demon, for the sinners as a whole... Not even for you to better yourself and reach your dreams. No. He's just going to let himself hope that this you that you portray yourself as is the real you. This likeable person you seem to be may be real. So, he decides to officially consider you a friend. He lets himself loosen up, crack a few jokes, show you his duck collection... Or at least a few of them. It would be difficult to bring his entire collection to the hotel.

• Throughout it all, your kind self stays the same. There are times you seem to be angry, frustrated, or saddened, of course. However, that kindness always shows through, as well as your dreams and hopes. You ramble about those two topics, even acknowledging that while Lucifer may not believe in you, you do and that's all you need. Not only that, but you even show interest in the things he talks about. You point out your favorite rubber ducks in his collection, you listen to him as he plays music, you crack your own jokes in response to his. You even try to fill him in on a few of Charlie's interests to help him understand her better.

• Slowly, overtime, he begins to feel very conflicted... He can tell that he's beginning to feel more romantic emotions towards you. Yes, Lilith has been missing for several years, now. They're practically, if not, already separated. He's unsure of whether or not she's even going to return, much less if she'd be the same person she fell for. He mostly just worries about how Charlie would feel if she found out. Sure, their relationship isn't the best, still, but it's getting better. He doesn't want to accidentally mess it up by having moved on to someone else. Sure, Lilith hasn't talked to either of them in a long time, but he wouldn't be surprised if Charlie still love, cares for, and looks up to her mother. Nor would he be upset. Lilith was an amazing woman, after all...

• However... Lucifer knows all too well, by now, that simply not confronting the problem won't make it go away. He's ran away from many of his problems, or just hid from them, and it hasn't helped him. So, he takes the leap to ask if you are currently looking for a relationship. He silently crosses his fingers, hoping that it's a yes, maybe, you're open to one but not searching... anything but a no...

• And it's a yes! You can practically see him looking relieved as you do so. You can already guess at this point what his next question is going to be, so you decide to pop it yourself, asking if he wants to go on a date sometime. He practically looks like he's about to have a heart attack, having not expected or planned for you to ask him first, nodding happily with a shocked expression. However, he feels the need to wait until he sees how Charlie feels about everything before planning and scheduling it all out.

• However, once you do end up going on your date, it's not what you expected from a ruler of Hell. It's not bad, though. If anything, it's better! You were slightly scared he'd feel the need to be overly stuffy and formal to impress you. Instead, he brought you to his place to have some homemade dinner. It's just you, him, a rubber duck, and some nice food. Yes, he brought a rubber duck with him to the table. It's his security duck. It's so unapologetically him and that's what you love about him. His personality. The moment he placed that duck into the dinner table and said what it was for, all your worries were washed away.

• Your relationship is filled with a mixture of your own interests and his combining in fun and quirky ways, as well as more soft and emotional moments. You love to listen to his jokes and music, he loves to engage in whatever interests you have, and he comes up with amazing ways to mix the two of your interests to make the relationship feel more special. Do you love to write or make art, like paintings, pottery, or drawings? He'll write music based on your works, be it the stories you create or the emotions your art conveys. Do you like to collect something as a hobby? He likes to collect his rubber ducks, so you both can spend time chatting together about each other's collections, or even set them up in cute positions and take photos of them together! Is it gardening you like? Maybe you can try growing an apple tree, then you two can try making caramel apples with them!

• With all those cute moments, though, do come the downsides... Though, you never let them stop you. He has his moments where his fears, anxieties, and sadness do take over. He's scared of losing you, be it you breaking it off with him of, worse yet, Heaven taking you away. He's scared of you seeing any flaws in him. He's scared that you might be upset that, even if he knows he was ready to move on from Lilith, he does still miss her. After all, a relationship may end quickly, but feelings can linger for decades... However, he's worried you might not understand that. Time and time again, however, you still find new ways to shock and lift him up, again. Be it you letting your actions speak for themselves, you talking to him, or you simply listening to him vent about it. It's gotten to the point where you can look at him, and just tell when he's not alright, which you are pretty proud of.

• Usually, when he's upset, you can find him talking to his ducks about it. That, or playing music... usually to his ducks. If you couldn't tell, his ducks are a huge form of comfort for him. They can't judge him, they can't talk back in anyway that makes him upset, and they can't leave him. Plus, he's so used to talking to them when he's alone, that it's just second nature to do so.

• He has a lot of fears and insecurities. Though, he has two major ones. One is that you're going to hate him for still missing Lilith, sometimes. As mentioned earlier, a relationship doesn't just fizzle out quickly, usually. She just left, one day, and he's pretty much stuck dealing with his emotions for her for as long as they last, at this point not even sure if she'll come back to talk to her daughter, much less him. Just because he still misses her, though, doesn't mean he doesn't love you... He's terrified that you might not understand that, though. He's usually reassured, though, by you showing an understanding of his situation and the fact that he does truly care and love for you...

• However... the other fear he has is that Heaven might take you away. Be it an extermination killing you, or what he personally sees as worse, you being redeemed and going to Heaven, or Heaven taking you for some other reason. Sure, you'd be dead if you got killed during an extermination, but at least he'd have the chance to protect you from it. You being redeemed or being taken to Heaven for whatever reason, though? That's never really happened, before. It may or may not be possible, but if it is, he doesn't know what to expect? What if God, himself, comes down to take you to Heaven? He's fought Him, once, and failed miserably. He can't protect you from that, and if you go to Heaven, who knows if he'd see you again? It'd be like Lilith going missing all over, again, but worse because he knows where you are and that he can't join you. You're so kind and sweet that Lucifer can't even use the thought of you being irredeemable to calm himself... Sometimes, actually, he even wonders if God put you in Hell on accident.

• Oftentimes when you hear him talk about this, you try to think of some sort of reply. You are trying to better yourself, yes. You did go to the Hazbin Hotel to try to be redeemed, even if you did leave it to stay with Lucifer. You are also more than aware that you're drastically different from all the other sinners. The only real reply you can think of is that you wouldn't want to leave him, so why would God try to take you away when you care about Lucifer more than Him? You aren't necessarily sure just how much it helps, but it is something, which you hope is better than nothing.

[prettyboypistol]

Mercs Thanksgiving Headcanons

Found Family is just as valid as blood and these mfs are HOMIES

Scout

Primary shit talker at the table while also somehow being the most incoherent about things.

Loves the feeling of being surrounded by people who kind of like him. It reminds him if home with his brothers and mom.

Passes out on the couch after eating a metric ton(2 plates and a fuck ton of mashed potatoes)

Soldier

Tries to cook, gets immediately kicked out of the kitchen.

Plays outside with the raccoons/already drunk people, absolutely gets into the inevitable politics fistfight on the side of AMERICA

Man eats his weight in turkey and then battles the calories off

Pyro

Happy to be here :)

They like being around in a holiday of togetherness and familial love, especially since they view the crew as family.

Helps Engie and Spy with the food prep, is actually surprisingly helpful and good at searing/flambe

Demoman

Is totally fine with people cooking dinner until he actually looks and starts backseat cooking.

Judgey drunk aunt energy lmao. This man comes for your THROAT at the table. "Oh ye ain't gotta girlfriend?? What happened to being God's gift to humanity??"

Probably the best advice giver, as long as you ignore his suggestion to take a swig of Dutch courage whenever you're scared.

Heavy

Secretly is absolutely enraptured with the idea to have a day surrounding family and friends.

Makes him a little sad that his mother and sisters aren't there, but he appreciates that Scout, Soldier, and Engie are over the moon about the tradition of dinner together.

Coddles the drunkards and is the cornerstone of the inevitable cuddle pile of tired sleepy men on the couch

Engineer

Heartwarming father energy ON GOD

You thought this man was southern then??? Hoo boy this man is the most gentlesouled cook in the kitchen. He's got all the southern tricks to get everyone at the table.

Glares at the fighting but playfully engages in light teasing. He dotes on Scout and Pyro a good bit as they remind him of his nephews back home.

Spy

Isn't a fan of the whole idea at all, but realizes it's important to most of the group so he joins in anyway.

He eats quietly and watches, the feeling is slightly uncomfortable being around all of the cheering joyfulness. He's not supposed to be here, he's a spy!

The last one awake, and with a little sigh he cleans the dishes, puts away the leftovers, and puts a blanket over the pile of mercenaries on the couch. It's nice when they're quiet.

Sniper

Surprisingly very happy (secretly) about the concept. He likes hanging out with the group, especially when he's allowed to space out in the general area of everyone without an obligation to talk.

Second to last asleep and offers to have a small campfire out back with Spy for a more quiet gesture. After all, he understood Spy's want to be quiet and just observe.

Finds the Scout-Demoman debates hilariously entertaining.

Medic

Is banned from the kitchen :(

This mf is megabanned from touching the food and drinks. Scout and Engie are hypervigilant about that. "NUH UH! NO SLIPPING STUFF IN THE TURKEY!"

Genuinely likes the banter but after a good half hour he gets a headache. He's the first to steal the couch to rest on, but probably the 3rd to fall asleep.

[recreationalfanfics]

Record of Justice: Wonder Woman! Reader HCs

I am so gay for Diana.

- Brunhilde doesn't HESITAITE to choose you as one of her champions, seeing as you're both demi-gods who come from a warrior race of women, I can see you and her honestly having a lot in common together.

- But yeah, no, Diana's whole thing is that she wants to save the world of man so even of Brunhilde didn't choose her, you would have still chosen to fight because it was your duty.

- So Wonder Woman has multiple origins: Her original one being that she was born from clay by her mother but there are versions she has a dad which kinda switches between Hades and Zeus. Zeus will be your father in this case because I genuinely like the idea of him blowing his fucking gasket when he sees you enter in the side of humanity.

- "YOU KNOW HER, YOU LOVE HER: LADIES AND GENTLEGODS, GIVE IT UP FOR THE AMAZONIAN PRINCESS AND SAVIOR OF MAN: (Y/N)!!!"

- Ares and Wonder Woman have so much beef in the comics so you and him definetly don't see eye to eye now. In fact, Ares would fight you himself if he could but like, you're also kinda scary when you're mad.

- Zeus and Poseidon are literally about to blow a fucking gasket when they see you. Zeus is more subtle as usual as he's all: "Oh, well she's always been the black sheep of the family!" but in reality, he feels deeply betrayed. Poseidon isn't surprised honestly, he genuinely believes you should have grown up with the Olympians instead of on Themyscira because then maybe you'd learn to look down on those pathetic humans instead of protecting them.

- Tbh, Poseidon does have a bit of a soft spot for you as his niece because you're the only one whose ever DARED to back talk him despite knowing his power. He wishes your mother, Hippolyta, wasn't such a stubborn woman. I can totally see moments when you're absolutely destroying Gods and Poseidon just smiling proudly at you but then quickly scowling so no one can see him.

- However the Greek Gods who explicitly still care for you are definetly Hermes, Hercules, and Aphrodite.

- Aphrodite, being your big sister, absolutely adores you even if you two aren't on the same side. She smiles when she sees you and if she can, she will try to catch you in the hallways and pull you into a hug, meanwhile you're kinda suffocating in her bosom. She compliments you on what a strong and beautiful woman you've become, the only reason she isn't upset with you for "betraying" the family is because...well, you've always been like that. It's just nice to see you again♡

-As for Hercules, you both are Demi gods and while you acknowledge humanities faults, you welcomed him with open arms and appreciate his dedication. You two might not be bound by blood but the way you carry each other's ideals and respect and tease each other, its very clear you two have an unbreakable bond.

- Hermes adored you since you were born. Despite Themyscira's laws that men weren't allowed on the island, he was a God, and would happily come and see you to play with you. Taking on a big brother role in your life, he smiles softly as you glare at your father and he thinks you're just as cute as when you were a little toddler struggling to walk on the sandy beach coast of your island.

- As for the human side, they're all in literal wonder of you...which makes sense regarding your hero alias, but when they watched you at work: you impressed everyone while Brunhilde smiled at you and it pissed Zeus off even more when you both shook hands and sent him smug smirks on your faces.

Enemies/People Who Dislike You:

- Ares is a huge hater as I stated before, maybe you humiliated him in the past in front of Zeus, or maybe it was that one time you stole his helmet in a fight and became the New Goddess of War for a while but either way: you and him should never be in the same room together because not even the Gods can predict that disaster.

- Loki thought the rope thing was kinda hot but found out the hard way WHY it was called the Lasso of Truth. Even when he is shaped shifted, he will revert to his normal form if you ever catch him with it AND YOU ALWAYS FUCKING DO. He also can't even try and mislead you by telling you half truths because he just blurts out the truth right away. Everyone absolutely adores you for it, ngl since Loki doesn't even bother pulling tricks when you're around and when he sees you fight for humanity, he throws a huge tantrum...He still finds the rope thing hot tho...

- Zeus. He has conflicted feelings for you, he does love you but he wishes you wouldn't always go against his wishes...though he supposes thats what he gets for having your mother raise you instead of him. You show him respect but you clearly harbour bitter feelings for him betraying your trust and wanting to wipe out humanity and he understands that. It still doesn't give you the right to laugh about him with Brunhilde and he'll be sure to get you back for it.

Allies/Friends Who Trust You:

- Brunhilde is honestly a good friend of yours, I genuinely think she sees you the same way she sees Hercules but she relates to you a little more. (The Valkyries and Amazon's would have martinis on the beaches of Themyscira, fight me on that-)

- Shiva, honestly. He likes that you're strict but you can definetly be fun and silly in your own way. You honestly remind him of Rudra, who he totally tries to set you up with so because you two really have a lot in common!

- Obviously Hercules, Hermes, and Aphrodite but also: Poseidon, surprisingly...sometimes. Again, he does soften a bit when it comes to you and he wonders if you're simply stubborn and brave or stubborn and stupid. You are his favorite niece but also, the one that causes him to roll his eyes the most.

- Honestly, all of the Valkyries. When you heard about Brunhilde and her Völundr's, you knew that it was clever but also: that you couldn't just stand to let your fellow sisters in battle fall, the odds being against them. Also, the will all hug you and tackle you to the ground.

- Sasaki Kojiro is a human you take a liking too, he reminds you of a friend whose clad in all black...except he's more cheerful and happy and might have lost in life, but still: he never gives up. You admire those skills in a human and he gets all shy and flustered when you compliment him but I can totally see the both of you practicing sword fights and even moments where he beats you, which you're proud of him for doing, honestly.

- Adam. He genuinely just is the dad Zeus never was, even though you're not one of his own children, he'll fight like you are. Tbh, the only man that deserves to set foot in Themyscira and the other Amazon's would agree. Eve also gossiping with your Hippolyta in the crowd and complimenting her on raising such a wonderful daughter and they talk about mom things.

Admirers/Characters Who Have a Crush on You:

- Thor, just straight up. Since you're a fellow immortal, you two have somewhat known each other, you didn't really care much for the godly affairs so it wasn't often, but he's had the biggest crush on you. When he saw you fight so fearlessly in the crowd, those feelings came back 10 fold. Definetly wants to fight you because that's his way of flirting. Zeus and Odin 100% want to pair you two together to create an official alliance and while Thor wants you to choose him out of your own volition, he will suggest that it is a good idea.

- Jack the Ripper. HE HAS BISEXUAL PANIC BECAUSE HERCULES WAS ALREADY SOKIND TO HIM BUT YOU?? OH, YOU'RE TRULY DESERVING OF THE TITLE OF GODDESS, your color is so gorgeous; filled with such love and passion. After his battle, after he killed Hercules, he is ashamed to face you. But, amazingly, you do not look at him in disgust or shame. You kneel down and gently hold his face, you are in mourning, but you still kiss his head gently and tell him: "You fought well. Rest." and he just short circuits as you begin to carry him.

- BUDDHA, BABY. He loves how serious you are but also, that you can be pretty goofy honestly. Also loves how you stand up to Zeus constantly. Not to mention he certainly has a thing for strong women. But also, he finds your work inspiring, trying to guide humanity to a better life of enlightment. HIPPOLYTA ALSO TRYING TO SET YOU TWO UP BECAUSE SHE'S A COOL MOM AND SHE'S ALL: "You know, that Buddha has been staring at you~" and you have to be all: "MOTHER!" And he walks over to you and offers you a snack and you take it. Zeus hates him because he thinks Buddha would be a "bad influence" on you.

[badchoicesworld]

Heyyyy I really love ur writing! And also kind of ur vibe as a person 😳 but anyway!

Since you said we can be specific, I wanted to ask about Hobie getting a just a little bit flustered when receiving genuine heartfelt compliments and affection through words bc it catches him off guard. He'd also find the reader a bit naive at first only to find out that they're actually incredibly cunning and calculated. They just come across as naive bc they're so ridiculously sweet once they trust someone :3 (and it always looks like they trust quickly bc they have insane psychoanalytic abilities but now I'm rambling;;; (⁠´⁠⊙⁠ω⁠⊙⁠`⁠)! )

Hope this isn't too much ^^"

hobie realises you’re not as naive as he thought

hobie brown x gn!reader

omggg 😳 tyy anonnnn you got me blushing n shit 🤭 but no fr, ty that’s so sweet lmao <33 and no, this was perfect, ily

warnings: none

pairing: hobie brown x gn!reader

requests: masterlist plz

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

on first inspection, to hobie, you appear to be this person that trusts way too easily and immediately treats people way too kind for a person you just met- you seem clueless and completely naive when it comes to putting your trust in others since you’re so quick to do it

hobie doesn’t think it’s a bad trait at all to be inherently kind, but when you’re kind to literally everyone you immediately deem trustworthy, it’s like you’re looking to get hurt

he might occasionally have one of his rants to you about the ins and outs of the “real world”, propaganda that surrounds you, distracting you from the truth, the sharks at the top of it all, the people that would take advantage of you

there’s no ill intent, he just really thinks you’re gonna get hurt like that

and who wants that ?

so yeah, anyway, when he first meets you, he can basically see the switch once you’ve realised he’s trust worthy

you’re the sweetest person ever without prompt, and it admittedly looks like nativity to him at first

but because you now trust him, it means you’ll be a sweetheart to him

at first, it’s small compliments that he can appreciate- maybe something about his style or rebellious attitude that he’s heard all before

but you suddenly amp it up for no reason one day and it just completely turns the tides

if you’re aware of his secret identity, you change his perception of you completely when you basically soul read him

you manage to craft the most heartfelt, genuine, sincere acknowledgement of the sacrifices he’s made, along with genuine thanks and somehow stating the closest interpretation of his emotions that he’s ever heard before. from someone that isn’t him, anyway

hell, you’ve maybe even just helped him realise a few things about himself

he’s fucking gobsmacked

he stares at you as if you’ve just said the most outrageous but enlightening thing ever to be uttered

slack jawed, eyes wide, completely silenced for a solid while

he’s eventually able to process wtf you just said to him, and now he’s just trying to play it off with a really goofy grin that doesn’t hide he’s flustered

hobie’s doing all sorts with his hands to try distract the both of you- gestures while he tried to defend the little of his pride he has left, holding the back of his neck, maybe nudging you or shaking your whole frame

he gets the faintest idea that you might be just a little less naive than he though, but not entirely

that might have just been a lucky guess, after all

you’re definitely smarter in his eyes, though

depending on your status, if you’re a spider-person, from a different dimension, from his dimension- it doesn’t matter, he’s intrigued by you now

might brag a bit or be like “can you believe this?” when he sees you soul reading someone else

now there’s been multiple times throughout your guys’ friendship where you manage to slap him with some ungodly wisdom relating to him out of absolutely nowhere, and it never fails to catch him off guard

of course, hobie’s effortlessly cool, so being caught off guard is gonna keep making him feel a little vulnerable and flustered

especially when you just casually do one of the most in depth psychoanalysis of him ever for like the third time this week

he’s starting to think that you know something the rest of the multiverse doesn’t, how do you do that ?

“alright, alright! allow it, man, allow it.”

he’s laughing, but he’s also questioning where you stand in the world, are you secret intelligence ? tf is goin on

if you weaponise this ability to read people like an open book, then he can have fun with it

now it’s funny

especially if you guys are spider-people together and he just casually points out a villain you’ve been assigned to, with a look that says “ruin them”

this can also happen to random people on the street

it’s like how he can completely destroy peoples perception and faith in the establishment n all that, if you so choose, you can really make people feel seen or completely vulnerable or called out

after these encounters with bad people, he realises something about you

you’re somehow able to just know who to trust, and your guts never wrong

he wonders if it’s your spider-sense at first, if you have that

now he’s starting to piece everything together

you can easily distinguish between the good and bad people- the good you immediately trust and treat like an old friend

the bad, you never give the time of day

you’re always so quick to trust, and naive

but it’s starting to become clear to hobie that this isn’t nativity, you just have an uncanny ability to know people before they even introduce themselves

it’s kind of reassuring in a way, if he’s ever doubtful about someone, he’ll go to you and be like “thoughts?” then you can relay this insanely detailed psychoanalysis of this person you’ve just met

now he sees you as this incredibly insightful person, a lovely individual who has the potential to ruin lives with your insane ability to call people out

bonus:

if you guys are spider-people together, you’re both pretty well known for running your mouths

you instil fear

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

as always, lemme know if this ate or not and i’ll try my best to fix it !

[canmom]

Comics mini-Comints: Dungeon Meshi

reread dungeon meshi through to the end. still such a great manga. here are immediate thoughts - if I end up having time and energy I hope I can write something that goes deeper!

ironically i was only a few chapters from the end when I stopped keeping up, but I was struggling to remember all the characters and context, so reading it through in one go was definitely an ideal way to achieve maximum impact there.

ryoko kui does a very elegant job of handling a transition from 'silly antics' to 'big dramatic fantasy' while still keeping the central thematic throughline - eating and being eaten, belonging to an ecosystem, the significance of sacrificing others to achieve your own desires. a lot of setups pay off in a way that feels meticulously planned - and of course the crux of the final showdown revolves around characters attempting to eat each other, of course the big payoff is a huge feast that symbolically unites all the conflicting factions. it is maybe a bit too neat and happy for my taste, but it's undeniably tightly executed - it never loses sight of what it's about. especially compared to something like Frieren, it's an incredibly coherent serialisation, up there with e.g. Fullmetal Alchemist.

kui's art style deserves all kinds of praise - it feels effortlessly simple, but it clearly communicates all sorts of different shapes and body types and it's really fun to see her play around with remixing the different visual elements when she switches the races around. in general Laius's autistic monster loving ways clearly reflect kui's own deeply felt appreciation for all the ways people and animals live (accentuated further by all the extra sketches the scanlators tuck in). in a way you could kinda call it like Parts Unknown the fantasy manga.

the stakes of the final conflict are interesting - there is much to be said about the framing of 'desire' and its fulfilment, of this occult idea of 'the infinite'. lots you could put in relation to other manga, and also buddhism. (in particular I really want to develop a comparison to Made In Abyss, there are so many parallels, it just might be too spicy for tumblr lmao).

one thing I really like about it is how much its fantasy dungeon-exploring setting owes to D&D and other TTRPGs, rather than videogames. monster ecology has been a fascination of that game since the early days of Dragon magazine, and Kui sharply zeroes in on some of the intrinsic conflicts baked in to that fantasy milieu, notably the lifespan thing, while smartly avoiding the traps of 'evil races'. there's some really fun nods to the weirder monster manual entries. and in a story with so many characters and factions, it does a genuinely incredible job of furnishing everyone with understandable, reasonable motivations, conflicts drawn from their context just like the monsters are explained by their ecology.

and one thing that I particularly appreciate is like... how much it is able to simultaneously understand and sympathise with a character and also show us how and why they'd rub others the wrong way. it's impossible not to like our main group, they're all such charming dorks and the manga leads you along with all the crazy rpg party shit they do, but at the same time you definitely find yourself thinking 'guy's got a point' in the kabru chapters lmao. I'm projecting hard bc i don't really know a thing about ryōko kui but laius def feels like the sort of depiction of having an autism that you can only do if you've lived it.

but yeah, it's a fuzzy ending where it all turns out well. but what's the deeper thrust of it all? there's a funny moment where marcille is like 'maybe in the end our journey is about learning to accept death' and the grouchy old gnome guy completely laughs this off as naive, because death doesn't mean anything. and indeed their big plan pays off, and falin does indeed come back just fine. but still, through all of this it asks you to bite the bullet that being a living creature means eating to survive, at the cost of other creatures, with the other side being that one day you too will be eaten. in contrast to this honest way of being is the beguiling fantasy of infinity, where all your desires are immediately fulfilled - this is shown as a dangerous path of corruption that produces madness and manipulability. having limits and rubbing up against the wishes of others, or 'doing things you don't want to do' as izutsumi's arc puts it, becomes necessary for having some kind of definition as a subject. the thing that makes the demon concrete as an entity is a desire, or appetite, that can't immediately be fulfilled.

of course we can connect this to the idea of narrative conflict. a standard advice for putting together a plot is to ask what each character wants and why they can't get it. wanting something implies movement. and indeed over the course of this story, we see that while having too many desires fulfilled too readily leads to incoherence and callousness, equally a character who is left catatonic as their desires have been eaten by the demon must be reawakened to activity by finding a new desire.

it's kinda Buddhist innit. neither the opulence of the palace nor asceticism. desires are what tie you to the world. but mixed with ecology: what a creature does to find the energy to live is what defines its lifestyle, its form.

this is probably where I'd start talking about entropy gradients and shit if i wasn't typing this on a phone at 1:30am lmao.

but yeah - it's a powerful move to go from 'D&D monster recipe show sendup' to 'living with the inherently violent nature of being an organism fated to live in a finite sum game' and yet Dungeon Meshi makes it feel natural and convincing, while remaining tremendously charming and funny throughout. ryōko kui is definitely some kind of genius, and I can't wait to see what her next act is gonna be. it's all definitely making me appreciate the act of eating a lot more.

next story on my plate is probably The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere, which sounds like it will present a very gnarly thematic contrast.

[kaicubus]

Dating Xavier Thorpe

warnings ✩° : bit of cursing, some suggestive things, wounds mentioned once.

pairing ✩° : xavier thorpe x gn!reader

authors note ✩° : this guy. THIS GUY. when i say some people just LOOK like boyfriends, i mean him. LIKE HAVE YOU SEEN PERCY WHITE. CMON NOWWWWWW.

- You're always catching Xavier staring at you, even when you're dating, because he just loves admiring you.

- Xavier lets you tie his hair up into buns and ponytails, but won’t actually admit he likes you playing with it. There’s only one time he admits it and that’s because he can’t handle all the rubbing and tugging at his hair when you're playing with it, when all of a sudden it just comes out as a hoarse whisper.

“Fuck, keep doing that.”

He gets embarrassed after and doesn't mention it at all again.

- He really enjoys painting and sketching you. In fact he keeps a little Y/n sketchbook where it’s just messy pencil and charcoal sketches of you doing various things. He keeps it for secret use though, so it’s like he’s appreciating you from afar despite being in a relationship with you.

- Has multiple sketches of you in his journals, sketchbooks, loose paper that’s tacked onto his walls, just because he really loves how you look.

- Xavier gets jealous, like a lot. He’ll stick out his jaw, roll his neck, crack his fingers, grind his teeth, and stare at you and the person if he thinks somethings going on when it really isn’t.

- If you're talking to someone, he pays EXTRA close attention to you and that person, more on the person to see if they try anything. But he completely loses focus on anything else around him if he notices you with someone else.

- He thinks it’s SO fun to tease you and mess with you but he won’t go out of his way to embarrass you, especially in public. The occasional touch on your ankle under your desk, secret laugh when you screw something up, and shoving you around playfully are just fine in his mind.

- Making out in his art shed ends up scattering all his paint brushes and pencils onto the floor, but he doesn’t mind cleaning it up once you two are done.

- If you touch the hairs on the back of his head that are on the nape of his neck??? Bro is GONE. Melted. Puddle. Goop. Mush. No more Xavier.

- Brings you into hugs or kisses by tugging on your belt of your uniform or by your tie and catching your lips onto his as he grins in the kiss.

- Loves having you in his lap, just holding you and rubbing his thumbs against your waist or his hands clasped together and them resting on your stomach, especially in public when you're both just talking to people. It’s his way of sort of claiming you and letting other people know you two are inseparable.

- I think his love language would probably be a mix of acts of service and touch, but more leaning towards acts of service. Xavier will take so much off your plate without even being asked to because he genuinely wants the best for you and wants you to be at peace all the time.

- He’ll also buy things you like, like your favorite drink, and just place it on your head.

- Sneaks into your dorm all the time to hang out, but always avoids your roommate because he’s convinced they don’t like him. This makes a lot of awkward situations where your roommate walks in and sees him shirtless or coming out of the shower with just a towel on. Maybe that’s why they don’t like him...

- Somehow he always gets random bruises and cuts?? So you're stuck sort of fixing his wounds and wrapping gauze and bandages around his knuckles and fingers, placing bandaids over his cheeks and nose, and cleaning out everything because of possible infections.

“You know, you really don’t have to do this, Y/n. It’s not even deep this time.”

“Just shut up and let me do this. How did you even cut your lip in your sleep?”

“You know that is a great question.”

- If you get cold easily, he basically makes you wear his hoodies. They're always within dress code so you can easily slide it over your top, but even in private he makes you wear his clothes because 1. you look cute in them and 2. he would rather sizzle and burn than to see you shiver ONCE.

- Ok he doesn't seem like it, but Xavier can be super clumsy sometimes. Like if he’s laughing too hard, he’ll fall over and trip backwards, sometimes even bringing you down with him too. It can be pretty funny at times especially when you both fall together.

- Xavier really likes the way you smell, so in a totally not weird way when he hugs you he likes putting his hands up your back and stuffing his face into your neck or chest and staying there for as long as he can before you pry him off of you.

- He can be pretty petty sometimes so there are moments where he misjudges a situation and makes it bigger than it already is. Xavier is one to jump to conclusions so if he thinks you're cheating on him he will ignore you and give you rude stares until you finally confront and clear things up with him.

- After that he’s pretty content. Protective, but content.

- If you're mad at him, it’s like the end of the world to him. Xavier will quite literally sneak into your dorm if you’re ignoring him and confront you about it. There’s no boundaries he WOULDN'T cross for you, even breaking and entering.

- Definitely does a lot to impress you. Sometimes it’s not that noticeable but other times it’s very obvious when he does things to make you smile or laugh. Bonus points when you actually do because your smile becomes EXTREMELY contagious.

- He’s very obedient towards you, so arguments don’t last long. If you ask him to do something, he does it. Begs you to forgive him.

- Xavier loves bringing you out to the forest around his art shed where you two spend hours aimlessly just walking and talking about random things. He’ll even do the thing where he holds your hand when you walk up on a log or a rock to make sure you don’t fall and hurt yourself. 

- Really likes having you around when he’s drawing, practicing archery, or fencing. He just does better when you're there to watch and support him!!!

[m1ssunderstanding]

Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day Nine

Here’s the thing. Like, on one hand, Paul loves teaching. But on the other hand, I honestly think he’d be a terrible teacher. He’s genuinely trying to explain songwriting to this kid, and all I’m getting is that I should be able to just look at a piano and it’ll give me whatever I want. “So it’s really just . . .” *plays Martha My Dear* “. . . and from there, you know, like, um, there’s no – unless you stop yourself – there’s no stopping yourself.” Yes, thank you, Professor McCartney. Very informative. Good thing you’re a gorgeous genius because not a word of that lecture made any sense. 

Seriously I am BEGging someone to write Paul and Ringo in the 20s as a cabaret duo! With Paul’s talents being songwriting, slutting it up, piano, and vocals and Ringo’s talents being tap-dancing, ventriloquist dummy impersonation, with the occasional piano, vocals, and sly winks. Maybe they meet George and John through organized crime, idk.

“They don’t just sort of come in your head, kind of thing?” “Yeah, sure. Fact, I had one this morning.” You know. As one does.

See, even Ringo’s on board with my plan. “Let’s make a silent movie.” And Paul. “In a club. That’s it. We’re in a band. We’re in a band, but we sell drugs.” And now they're stringing Paul up just for kicks. Maybe they could join the circus!

Literally the minute John starts being silly, Paul gets this fond look on his face and you can see the wheels turning like “quick, think of a way to get close to him.” And John’s into it. But they keep doing this seesaw thing and I can’t help but think how reminiscent it is of their dynamic as a whole. 

“I see you’ve given up smoking, Richie.” “Yes, I have.” Reminds me of that classic, “I don’t even smoke,” thing. Seems like five-hundred years ago.

PLEASE tell me Peter Sellers and Ringo had a torrid love affair during the filming of The Magic Christian. The way Peter touches Ringo’s hair and his face! Ringo being a gentleman and getting Peter a chair! And I mean there’s plenty of queer coding between them in the film.  

But also laughing my ass off at Peter’s reaction to their song-titles/lyrics/gibberish/other references code.

Yoko, you’re stone-cold and hilarious. “Or what we haven’t.” I honestly have mad respect for her complete disregard/disdain for the Beatles and their art only because that’s how they treat hers for the most part. But girl. You’re married to one of them. He genuinely does love them and what he does with them and you’ve got to respect that or go find someone else, you know?

Also, Paul does Not appreciate the attitude. “Or we’ll just sort of sit here and allow ourselves to be embarrassed. ‘Number nine . . .”

Aaand, just like that, Peter Sellers “must be off.” He lasted all of 1 minute 26 seconds. Weak. George and Ringo lasted fifteen years. 

MLH is literally that annoying person that asks you a serious question about yourself just so he can use you as a segue to talk about his problems.

John: just recovering from the day, you know. Yoko: from the night. John: embarrassed (you have no right, dude, you literally played your sex tape for everyone like two weeks ago) Paul: Did not want that image, thanks very much. 

It actually KILLS me though that we’ll never understand their code. Paul and Ringo will take it to their graves and no one else knows it and any footage like this we’ve got, and any code songs, will just be mostly uninterpretable for all time. 

Okay these few minutes here are soooo special to me. It’s John at his peak lovely, sweet, gentle, kind self. He makes a joke at which Paul can only nod darkly which makes John realize just how bad of a place Paul’s in. 

Paul wants them to get to work “achieve something every day.” But John knows he’s not in a good headspace to work and it’ll be shit and then Paul will spiral even more. So, he turns up the humor until Paul is sufficiently cheered. 

And then, he says. “Guitars? I thought that’s what they do.” And Paul’s stammering. “Oh, that is what they do, but–” John stands up, does a little head-tilt toward the instruments. “Come on, I’ll even show you about half a song I was writing. Come on.” That last in the tenderest, most coaxing voice. It’s just soooo. Like. We talk a lot about Paul ‘handling’ John, and he did. But John sure knows how to handle Paul.

I SO wish they’d have done something with “Madman”. It’s so fun!! Every single song in this era I will go to bat for, no question. 

Ringo’s little hug for Paul!!!! I can’t.

[vettelsvee]

I HEREBY ANNOUNCE MY RETIREMENT | Sebastian Vettel

history series masterlist | wattpad | ao3 | instagram

summary: seb has finally done it. he has finally shot the video for the retirement announcement alongside his wife, his three kids, his sister and, of course, britta. everything seems perfect except one thing that the vettel couple has been avoiding: the apple tv offer to do a documentary about their journey in formula 1 for the past 15 years.

word count: 2272

warnings: none of them! just husband!seb with their kids and his wife + the retirement video being shot

taglist: @theseerbetweenus if you wanna be tagged in each part just tell me in the comments <3

feedback is truly appreciated!

2022

Switzerland May 10th

"I hereby announce my retirement from Formula 1 by the end of the 2022 season."

Diana, who was in front of his husband, nodded her head while she was standing next to his sister. The Aston Martin driver was focused on reading everything he had to say thanks to the prompter he had a few meters away from him.

After a pause, Vettel continued reading the speech he prepared with a huge effort for more time that he'd like to remember. The German was absolutely conscious that his life would change the moment that video was published, and he was every time more aware that there was no time to go back.

"As much as I love life on track, there's life off track too," he said. "The decision of me retiring hasn't been an easy one, but after talking with myself, with my wife and many more important people in my life, I came up with the conclusion that it's time to take a step forward. If I say that Formula 1 hasn't been a crucial part of my life, I'm lying and I'd be just a hypocrite. I got many achievements as a driver, but also the biggest one a man could ask for: having the opportunity to form your own family."

Britta, his PR, looked and analyzed her client's voice and gestures. After many years together, their relationship went from a just professional to a familiar one. The woman tried to think about the impact the words of the four-time world champion in the biggest motorsport category would have on people, but those moments were tough to think about.

"As many of you may know, my job demands an enormous effort both physically and mentally. For this reason I would like, from now on," the voice of the bond man began to tremble slightly with contained emotion, "to dedicate more time to my family: my wife, Diana, whom you all know for being the one who made my first victory possible, and the one who's been by my side as a strategist since 2012; and, of course, to my little ones, Emily, Charlotte and Matilda. Every time I come back home, they've grown at least five centimeters!"

The little girls, who were barely aware of what their dad's message would entail, were busy playing with their aunt, Lara, a game she suggested: to stay as quiet as they could, so the winner would be the first to talk to uncle Lando that day.

"I want to be the father and husband they deserve," Seb continued, looking tenderly at his daughters playing and the baby Diana was holding. "I want to be there for every significant moment, every laugh, every tear, every achievement, and every failure, because if there's one thing I've learned over these past ten years is that, in order to succeed, sometimes we must experience failure first."

Diana, with the emotion running through her veins, tightly grasped her sister-in-law's hand while, quickly, tried to wipe away the tears in her eyes.

"I would like to take this moment to express my gratitude to every team and teammate I've been working with, whether they're a driver or not. And last, but not least, to the fans of the sport," he paused briefly:" you've made my life both heaven and hell most of the times, and even though there have been ups and downs during these 15 years, I genuinely thank you from the bottom of my heart for the support you've given me after all this time."

Once Sebastian nodded his head, Britta rushed to turn off the camera that was in front of him. Finally, the German could breathe a sigh of relief, although there was still something more important that he had to face with Diana.

The looks the women gave him were a mix of nostalgia, support and price, though the latter was most prominent. Immediately, the little girls ran to their father, who was still sitting in the chair where he had remained throughout the recording. Seeing his oldest closer, followed by the middle one, he decided to get down on his knees with his arms open and ready to give them a hug.

"Daddy, I'm so proud of you," said Emily, clinging tightly to her dad's neck, "now you'll be able to take us to school because we'll be able to go to school!"

Sebastian laughed, wrapping his daughters with his arms, taking special care not to harm Charlotte who, due to her shorter stature, barely reached her father's chest. She withdrew with a swift movement, and then, once her sister had given her green light, she raised her little arms while approaching Vettel, who picked her up in the air and carried her on his hips.

"I love you so so so much, daddy," the middle daughter of the Vettels said, brimming with joy while playing with the driver's curls.

Vettel gently kissed the younger one's cheek and tousled Emily's hair, affectionately taking her by her shoulders in order to bring her closer to him, on the opposite side where her sister was.

"I've spent a lot of time with the fast guys, so now it's my turn to be with you and mom", the man explained to his girls. "In fact, I'm pretty sure aunt Lara will visit Lando more than once." "Uncle Lando!" Charlotte squealed in his ear, correcting her father. "It's uncle Lando, daddy," corrected the girl.

Lara approached her brother with a knowing look, silently conveying that she would take the girls and the baby so that he could have that intimate conversation with his wife about the documentary that had talked a lot. Sebastian nodded in agreement, and he started to feel a sense of tension as the dark-haired woman extended both hands towards her nieces, and took little Matilda in her arms.

"What do you think about FaceTime with Lando, little ones?" suggested Lara. "We can explain to him the game we've been playing so he can join us the next time he comes over." The girls, excited to talk to the British driver they liked so much —unlike a certain Dutchman who had dated their aunt previously— quickly took Lara's hands and dragged her towards their playroom.

"Yes, yes, let's call uncle Lando!"

Their almost simultaneous voices could be heard in the distance. Finally, only the married couple and their public relations remained.

Britta had tried to talk to the married couple on multiple occasions about the offer that Apple TV had presented to make a documentary about the four-time world champion's career at the end of the 2021 season, but the efforts had been in vain. Now, with the ultimatum that the publicist had received from the streaming platform just a couple of days before, it was clear that they couldn't avoid the topic anymore, and Diana and Sebastian Vettel were aware of it.

"Seb, Di," the older woman began, "I know you both have a completely different view on the documentary, but the answer is simple: yes or no."

Vettel sighed, feeling his body tense up.

"Britta: you, of all people, know everything I went through at RedBull," the German explained, trying not to get upset. "You know that the hate and negative criticism were constant, and they didn't stop no matter how much not only me, but also Di, proved otherwise."

"We need to weigh the pros and cons before making a decision, boy," Britta replied, "even though we don't have much time for that."

"Sunshine," Diana joined the conversation, "I understand you're afraid, but you can't let your past hold you back. Plus, we've matured over all these years, and I think it's the perfect opportunity to silence many of those who spoke, and still speak, against us."

The PR nodded in response to the driver's wife's words, acknowledging that both viewpoints had some merit.

Still, there wasn't a clear answer yet.

"Sebastian, trust me, I completely understand what you're saying, but you have to consider the incredibly positive impact this documentary can have not only to you image, but also to you projects. Obviously, you image was 'cleaned up' the moment you joined Ferrari, and you weren't seen as the enemy anymore, but..."

"Britta", the redhair interrupted, "I'm sorry to cut you off, but I'd like to remind you that during my husband's time at the red team, they were still playing dirty tricks on us," she explained, her voice tinged with anger. "Not only we were hounded by paparazzi almost all the time, they also leaked a private video of us! And do you remember when I went into labor, and they chased Charles, Mick and I? And many other things that you, from everyone, knows."

Neither of the other two knew how to respond to Diana.

"You have no idea what I've had to face," the driver's wife continued, "every day, for all these years. I don't regret accepting the offer Toro Rosso gave me back in 2008 to be an intern while I studied my degree," she explained, "but I don't think I would have accepted it if I had known everything I would have to go through to live my happily ever after."

"Darling..."

"No, Sebastian!" the youngest woman shouted, furious, pushing her husband's hand away. "I don't want to sound selfish, and you both know it well... Honestly, I don't want to be resentful or hurt those who talked shit about us, but I'd love people to know our story, or real story, from our point of view."

Britta didn't know what to say in response to the words of the girl she had known for many years, but she knew she was right. Sebastian, on the other hand, reflected Diana's words for a few moments that felt like an eternity. His wife sometimes was scary as hell, and that was one of those moments he didn't like to face.

Finally, he spoke with a trembling voice:

"Alright, let's do it," he announced as firmly as he could, cautiously getting closer to his wife.

Minutes later, they were all seated on the family room sofa, ready to formally discuss the terms they would set with Apple TV in the upcoming meeting to commit to making the documentary. Once again, Sebastian was the first one to speak:

"I want to make sure that the documentary portrays a complete picture of our years in Formula 1," the man explained. "I don't just want them to focus on the challenges we've faced, but also on the achievements we've made. I want people to understand that there's more beyond all controversies and manipulations."

Diana agreed with her husband.

"I'd like to address the issue of sexism that has been surrounding this sport for years, and everything I've had to face to make myself a place in the industry," she said. "I want to be seen not just as Sebastian's wife and mother of his children, but also as the engineer who made possible not only his first F1 victory, but also two consecutive world championships."

Britta listened carefully to the couple's comments while taking notes on her laptop, essential to discuss the terms with the production company. Once the married couple finished, the publicist went out to explain what she had discussed with Apple TV:

"According to the draft I received," she began to explain, "which, by the way, you haven't read yet, it states that they are willing to work closely with you to make sure that your story is told fairly," she lifter her gaze from the PDF document to look at both of them. "Diana, they would also be proud to address issues related to sexism because it's still very much present in the sport today."

Sebastian and Diana nodded, satisfied to hear the contract details from Britta. However, there was still an important matter for the family to discuss:

"I, also," Vettel continued, "want to establish boundaries regarding the privacy of our personal lives: we want to share our story, but not intimate details, and certainly not about the girls. They are the most important ones here, and even though they're our greatest gifts, they shouldn't be part of this narrative. Also... you know what happens with Michael. That is the best kept secret."

"No problem, Seb," the PR answered, "we'll make sure to add that both in the email I'll be sending and in the meeting we'll be having next month with the program's executives and producers. Not the Michael part, of course."

"Do we already have a date for it?" Diana asked with interest.

"Next month," the older woman replied, noting the busy schedule Sebastian would have leading up to summer break. "Specifically on June 22nd, just a few days after the Canadian Grand Prix."

She continued discussing details related to the production schedule, the technical resources that would be used to have the best quality possible and, most importantly, how the announcement of the documentary would be made and how the episoded would be distributed. She emphasized to her clients that nothing was signed yet, and changes could still be made in the future.

Sebastian and Diana, once again, agreed with everything Roeske discussed with them, felino a mix of emotions between them that they had never experienced before, not even during their worst moments.

"I know we're ready for this new chapter, girls," Seb declared, looking at the two women who had accompanied him throughout his professional racing career and had never left him behind. "They're finally going to hear us, whether they like it or not."

[the-badger-mole]

what are your favourite zutara headcanons and/or tropes? genuinely curiosity :)

SOOO many! But I'll only list a few here.

I love Book 1 Zuko having a crush on Katara. I absolutely believe that Zuko fell for Katara first, and I love the idea of it happening (or at least beginning) at the worst possible time. I love this played for laughs by making things even more awkward and humiliating for Zuko, and I love it being played straight by having Zuko confront what liking a girl from "the other side" means and exploring how lonely his life has been for his first real crush to be on a literal enemy.

I love a reluctant Momtara and Dadko dynamic. Like, Zuko joins the gaang and picks up the slack the others let Katara take care of. Katara simultaneously appreciating the help and absolutely hating that it's coming from Zuko is 😫👌🏾. Then, after when they're friends, I love the idea of them bonding over cooking or doing laundry. Give me Zuko realizing just how much Katara does for everyone, and getting pissed off about it on her behalf, then going full on Dadko and making a chore wheel. Give me accidental date nights where Zuko's only intention was giving Katara a break while everyone else takes care of their own meals and cleaning for a change.

Reluctant allies is also a top tier trope for this pair. They are peak "the enemy of my enemy is my enemy-to-friend-to-lover", and I will never, ever get tired of those fics. Any time they have to travel together for survival even though they want to crazy murder each other (or rather, Katara wants to crazy murder Zuko), it's a great time. Gimme all of that!

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Hiii! May I, please, request the M6 with an MC who doesn’t show a lot of emotions and is regarded as apathetic by strangers, who actually likes to joke around and shows affection through quality time or acts of service?

Thank you 🫶🫶

The Arcana HCs: When MC comes across colder than they are

~ aww, anon! I had that struggle all through my teens, most of my friends told me they were scared to approach me at first until we actually talked XD I hope you enjoy these! - brainrot ~

Julian

Let's get this straight: you're smart, attractive, capable, single, and (seemingly) emotionally distant? Consider him whipped

Does he find you slightly intimidating? yes. Is that intimidation lethally attractive to him? ... also yes. Is this his sign to play off of that detached attitude as the roguish charmer he is? absolutely

So you can imagine his surprise when, as the two of you get closer, you start to show this playful, affectionate side that he never would have guessed at

Now he loves you twice as much as he used to, and he didn't even think that that was possible

Loves it when you spend quality time with him. He's so used to bouncing around the world by himself that having you set aside time to be with him is wonderfully new and fulfilling

Acts of service are nice too, but he gets so flustered and worked up if you don't let him reciprocate. Please let him reciprocate

Loves to tell the story of the cool, ruthless apprentice who stole his heart when he stole into their shop

Asra

They've known you for nine years. They know about your accidentally stand-offish exterior and how nice you actually are once you're comfortable around someone

You're not the only best friend he has who's like that *cough*Muriel*cough*

It does mean a lot to them that you feel comfortable enough around them to be playful and affectionate

It makes you that much sweeter to fall in love with, and that much harder to hide his feelings from

They find it endlessly entertaining to watch person after person approach you thinking that you're aloof, only to find out that you're genuinely kind and caring

He loves spending quality time with you. Lazing upstairs in the afternoon sun, reading a book and daydreaming while you do your thing snuggled next to him? Bliss. Pure bliss

They also appreciate your acts of service, but usually because they're terrible at remembering to do their share of the cleaning (that poor stove salamander really deserves a cleaner wood pile)

Nadia

She's pretty used to having an accurate and in-depth first impression of someone

And yet, despite you coming off as aloof and uninterested, she keeps catching glimpses of this wonderful warmth in your eyes

Color her intrigued

Very honored when you begin to act more casual and playful around her. It means you trust her enough to be yourself

She does feel guilty sometimes that you always manage to make quality time for her, when her schedule is often so hectic that she can't reciprocate to the same extent

However, when she can enjoy quality time with you (and she often does!) she dotes on you endlessly and savors every moment

She didn't expect acts of service from you. She's used to having assistance around the clock, and on top of that she values her independence and a peer-based relationship with you

But when you notice that she's tired, and have breakfast brought to her chambers so that she can sleep in? She's in love. She's so very in love

Muriel

You. He gets you. You are his kind of person

Finally, somebody he doesn't have to explain himself to! Though he still finds it a little disarming that his intimidating presence doesn't deter you from wanting to get to know him better

He knows from his own experience how valuable your trust and affection are, and as much as he hesitates to admit it, it gives him butterflies every time you open up to him a little bit more

Now when Asra forces him to attend a multiperson event, he has company when he stands in the corner and puts off "do not approach" vibes

It also means he has company when he feels safe enough to relax a little bit and enjoy connection with you. He has quality time for you in abundance (unless he's recharging his social battery)

He's also the kind of guy who prefers to let his actions speak for himself, so when you do little things to brighten up his day it means the world to him

You two around strangers + Inanna = peak intimidation tactics

Portia

Portia can get along with anyone if she puts her mind to it. She's not put off by your aura at all

If anything, she mistakes your apathy for mystery:

The powerful magician who calls themself an apprentice that the Countess had clairvoyant dreams about, sailing through the palace like they're untouchable. That's so cool

Very proud of herself when she "unlocks" your relaxed, affectionate, funny side. It means you see her as a worthy partner

She's the kind of person who likes to cram as much into her day as possible, so it takes a small paradigm shift for her to get used to your offers of quality time. She loves it once she does, though

You make her so flustered with your acts of service. She's used to being the person watching everyone's back and making sure things run smoothly behind the scenes

Having that kind of attention turned back in her direction is new and unexpected and more charming than she thought it would be

Likes to use your intimidation in important meetings because she comes off so friendly

Lucio

Right, so you triggered him a little bit at first

You're the first person in three years who can see and interact with him, and no matter what he does he feels like he keeps running into a wall of ice. To say you infuriate him is an understatement

(It doesn't help that you remind him of his mother in that way)

Of course, this only makes him more determined to earn your approval and affection

And he is so gratified when he receives it from you

It's a good thing that you like spending quality time with him, because with all the traveling the two of you do as journeymen there's lots of space for that

He doesn't know to recognize your acts of service until the two of you have to travel separately for a bit, and when he realizes how much you do for him every day he nearly breaks down into Melchior's fur (Mercedes was with you)

He laugh uproariously at all of your jokes, regardless of how good or bad they are

[aroaceleovaldez]

thoughts on leo valdez? headcdanons? i

[stares at own url] ...I'll give you one for free, lol

Aro/ace Leo.... listen. He explicitly states that he plays up his false persona in aspects that he feels are lacking in his actual personality in an effort to make people like him more, and in his POVs we get a lot of him doing acknowledged-as-nonserious joke-flirting as part of his false persona. Guy who doesn't realize he's aspec trying to overcompensate for his lack of attraction by excessively hitting on people to hide that he doesn't feel attraction towards anyone? Him wondering if he's broken in a whole bunch of ways and trying to make up for it externally while having an identity crisis about that? Something something metaphor about him wondering if cause he's a Hephaestus kid he's a little too much like a machine/robot and can't feel love or The Right Emotions In General™ because of that cause he doesn't know about aspec stuff yet (or that he's autistic)? Can anyone hear me.

Related to that: Leo landing on Ogygia (island of unreciprocated love) and meeting Calypso, who (probably through love magic) actually seems to be attracted to him? And him trying to force himself to reciprocate because he figures that's just how it's supposed to go and maybe for once he's actually experiencing romantic love? And he's so desperate for someone to like him and to feel useful to someone (re: 7th wheel)? But it fizzles out almost immediately after they leave the island, because the heart-eyes wear off for Calypso, especially once she technically no longer needs him, and Leo can't keep up trying to make himself reciprocate (and can't keep up trying to put his mask back up for her, especially now that Calypso seems to actually care about it). I am literally always thinking about this.

Short king,,, I don't care what anybody says he is NOT 5'6" that is way too tall for him. My guy is 5'5" absolute maximum. I usually place him at 5'3". Tiny guy. Made of pipecleaners. Built like Bilbo Baggins...

I've mentioned it before in a couple of places (i know [here] at least) but I did not like his fake-out death in BoO. Also I'm just mad about his dropped character arc(s) in general. My ideal substitute is that instead of dying and being revived, Festus just crashes in the woods nearby and Leo has overexerted his powers too much a la Nico's shadow stuff and is nearly dead but once they get him to the infirmary he recovers and can start working on recovering from his whole depression arc too. Also maybe he loses a leg in the crash so he can match his dad just for funsies, and so that there's some amount of consequence to his sacrifice to make up for him not dying (not like in canon there were any consequences to him dying and being revived anyways...). Also something something accidental Hiccup HTTYD joke. Leo with a prosthetic is always fun. More Hephaestus kids with prosthetics.

I am very amused by the concept of Leo never having any romantic attraction to Hazel at all, possibly even negative romantic attraction once he finds out she dated his great-grandpa (especially since in canon like 90% of his thoughts about Hazel are just kind of appreciative and genuinely thinking she's really cool, if a little confusing at first), and Hazel pretty quickly gets over her side of things once she gets used to the fact that this is Definitely Not Sammy, he just Looks Like Sammy (and does not actually act like Sammy, that's just a fake persona that is eerily similar by coincidence. Real Leo is actually quite reserved and not so much of a vocal goofball most of the time). So they're just besties after their mutual weird Sammy vision and understanding the deeper sides to each other and are each other's person they're most comfortable letting their guard down around cause they've formed that level of trust. Except Frank's over in the corner seething cause he thinks this is a love triangle but he's the only one who thinks that. Leo just thinks Frank hates him for the general reasons he thinks everybody hates him (which is just an assumption he's kind of used to and expects from people, so he does not question it at all). Hazel knows Frank thinks Leo is trying to steal her from him but she's having trouble trying to keep the two of them from nearly killing each other. It's a very homestuck auspistice dynamic.

Leo and Frank eventually work out their stuff and become very good friends to meeee... let them bond over their mutual fear of fire and dead mom trauma! they have so many parallels and I want the two of them and Hazel to be a funky cute little trio!

Dragonkin Leo! That boy is a dragon!!!! I usually say his stuff is kind of spiritual origin (he doesn't really know how to explain it other than his soul is just a dragon) versus like Jason being a wolf therian with a more psychological origin (being raised by an immortal wolf pack rubbed off on him) (rip Piper being the only non-alterhuman in their trio LMAO). I imagine whatever type of dragon he is probably is very similar to Festus, which is part of why Leo clicks with Festus so quickly - he just sees himself in Festus and it's very comforting to him. He definitely makes himself some fun 'kin gear, like a nice weighted tail and wings and claws to try and help his phantom shifts feel a lil less wonky. Also him having dragon talon weapons just sounds cool. He also totally makes gear for any other alterhuman demigods.

[idyllic-affections]

if i am the wind, fleeting and transient, you are the steady and constant earth upon which i stand.

summary. kaedehara kazuha's older sibling is a geo-aligned mirror of himself.

trigger & content warnings. references to tomo's death and mentions of sensory overload.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff, hurt/comfort. kazuha & older sibling!reader, slight beidou x reader. 0.7k words. they/them pronouns for reader. reader has a geo vision.

author's thoughts. this was an old draft that i decided to finish bc tbh? kazuha >>> lately i'm finishing and posting old drafts? i think it's because i'm realizing that they aren't even half as bad as i originally thought.

imagine being kazuha's geo bearing older sibling.

kaedehara kazuha is, for the most part, a gentle gale. fleeting, transient, evanescent.

kaedehara [name] is his polar opposite—they are the firm earth. lasting, enduring, permanent.

they were easily one of the raiden shogun's most vocal opposers during the vision hunt decree. how dare she treat her people with such lack of care? the people she should have loved? the people that she had once promised a dream to? where was all that love when she decided to cruelly rip her citizens' visions from them in spite of all the terrible effects such force had? where was all that love?

(even after the decree gets repealed, they would still be a little bitter. they're expected to forgive her, just like that? no. their forgiveness is a thing to be earned; hell, they may simply choose to never forgive her, and after all the pain she caused them and their brother? it would be justified. they do not care if she is an archon.)

"eternity is not complacency in a stasis-like state," they once told kazuha, "but rather, it is the endurance of a legacy for centuries to come. that is eternity."

they stayed back in inazuma, holding off the shogunate while kazuha ran away after tomo's death.

he cried when he had to part from them, but at their command, he ultimately did obey. as much as it hurt him to abandon them, not knowing if they'd somehow manage to escape on their own, he knew they would hate it if he refused to leave. so he did.

thankfully, the resistance took them in. they stayed with kokomi and gorou the majority of the time, helping them push back against the electro archon's tyranny.

kazuha definitely adores his older sibling!! he will literally never say a single bad thing about them to anyone. never. no slander will come from his lips.

when beidou first got to meet them, she was absolutely overjoyed; she can see where kazuha gets his attitude from! they also thanked her profusely for taking such good care of him when they could not. the two got on very well! kazuha was so happy to see some of his favorite people getting along <3

beidou loves them. genuinely.

she always encourages them to come on the alcor. there is always a place for them with her crew! sometimes they do take her up on her offer and they travel teyvat for a while. once their family affairs are settled, they'll start traveling full-time, occassionally returning to inazuma to visit their friends.

she also gets so excited when she knows they'll be on board—beidou likes exchanging stories with them and just... talking. she loves that.

someone had to teach kazuha how to play music on leaves, you know. it was definitely [name].

kazu and his sibling would compliment one another really well in battle. they'd be able to predict one another's next moves based on muscle twitches, changes in stance... it's like they can read each other's minds! they can't. they just know one another inside and out.

sometimes they'll cup their hands over his ears to protect him in situations where he cannot avoid a storm or similar thing that might hurt his ears. this gesture is greatly appreciated. kazuha does what he can to reciprocate that—if they're overwhelmed or overstimulated? his first priority is to get them somewhere calmer. they protect him in his moments of sensitivity, so it's only fair for him to do the same.

i like to think kazuha and his sibling sit and admire scenery together. maybe they point out shapes in the clouds. maybe they take note of interesting sounds they hear in the bushes. however the two spend their time admiring the world, it is always an enjoyable time.

i also think the two would play in the rain, as long as it isn't too heavy <3 dancing in the rain together, taking walks in the rain together... it'a comforting.

sometimes kazuha will lay his head on their lap as if he were some kind of cat, and he'll just fall asleep. a mid-afternoon nap on his older sibling.

on top of all of that, kazuha speaks his mind to his sibling, and he hopes they'll do the same. he wants them to always be honest about what they're thinking and how they're feeling.

he knows that, as the eldest, they may have had to carry heavy burdens all throughout his childhood, while he got the privilege of existing without a care in the world.

the heavy burdens will be no more.

he is old enough to help shoulder the weight, and help shoulder the weight he will.

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

[whiskersz]

HELLOO you Definitely don't know me ;) ...but I'll still wish you luck for all the matchups <3

My name's Alexander, I go by they/them and at times he/him, I'm gay and on the ace spectrum!

I'm a pretty chill person that oscillates between too much energy and too little. I rely heavily on humor in most circumstances and I've been told I'm great at it (loads of dirty jokes, puns and absurd humor). I'm also good at improvising things as a theater and musical enjoyer. I'm a blend of emo, goth and punk, and enjoy the culture greatly. I'm very passionate about my interests, though not much confident in sharing them. I struggle with emotions a shit ton but I'm working on it!

A little (orange) birdie told me I could have both matchups, soooo. ;) I'd obviously prefer a male romantic matchup but I'm most open to either for platonic!

I love creating, mostly drawing and writing but it includes animating or sculpting and even playing piano/elec. guitar. I love chess and logic games/puzzles, as well as video games of all kinds (fantasy usually!). I also enjoy darker topics, since I'm quite fascinated by the human nature.

I love to hang out with friends, bake, watch shows, talk, etc, quality time is a big love language to me. I also like physical contact, as long as we're close!

I dislike physical activity, conflict of any kind, and loud noises/bright lights for too long. Another no are outright gore or some kind of horror (I have paranoia which can lead to a lot of anxiety.)

I don't exactly have an ideal type but they must be open-minded, ideally make me feel like they're interested in whatever I have to say, be willing to hang out and be honest!

Thank you for doing this, sending lots of love from the coolest bat in your area ;)

Hmm I wonder who this could be... ;3 As I was reading this I kept nodding to myself...like yes, very true, definitely! And it also reminded me of how intriguing of a person you are – not that I don’t think that all the time, of course.

Anyhow, enough of my silliness! Let’s move our focus on somebody else’s silliness, as I romantically match you with...

Lucifer!

Right off the bat I should mention that you and Lucifer share an interest which is creating; both of you spend the majority of your days bringing life to your little creations, so imagine how fun it would be to work together and show each other the fruits of your work at the end of each day! He is definitely enchanted by how many skills you possess, but his favorite thing is when you finish writing a story and you ask him to read it. He does so out loud, imitating the voices of each character and making you laugh by doing so. As he continues reading though, his tone shifts into a more serious one, a sincere smile remaining on his face. He doesn’t want you to think that he doesn’t take your work seriously, plus he’s genuinely fascinated by how easily you can bring to life the characters in your stories.

You love baking and he loves sweets, I couldn’t think of a better combo! Many a times you drag him into the kitchen and he follows diligently, ready to help and possibly make a bit of a mess as he’s not the most well versed in these kinds of activities. But! He definitely tries for you, passing you the ingredients as you carefully try to follow every step of the recipe correctly. He’s also a bit of a chatter box himself, so rest assured you will have a lot to talk about as you break eggs and mix the ingredients! He sometimes brings up how he misses doing these things with Charlie as well, and you kindly remind him that he’s free to invite her over to do this any time as you’ve grown quite fond of her as a friend.

Returning on the topic of Lucifer being quite talkative, he really appreciates how much your interests vary as this allows you two to have conversations about anything and everything. While I feel like some things he wouldn’t be into himself, such as video games, there’s nothing that he loves more than to listen to you excitedly talk about an interest that he’s not really familiar with, because this just means that there’s more things to learn directly from you. You of course have to do your part in listening to him talk about whatever he might be into but you’re not, though!

Lucifer adores the fact that you can play the piano and electric guitar, as he’s able to play some instruments himself! It’s not rare for you two to play together, making up songs between piano keys being pressed and bows being drawn across the strings of his fiddle. The little concerts last for hours, and they always end with you sharing a tired but satisfied kiss with each other.

If there’s something that Lucifer understands about you it’s your struggle with emotions; his own are a mess, especially seeing that he struggled with isolation and depression after he and Lilith separated, but also because his humour is generally a little unpredictable. After meeting you though he’s able to pace himself slightly as you inevitably bring joy into his life, and so he manages to be helpful in your times of need. At first he might push you a little to still spend time together even though you’re claiming you need space, but once he’s got you figured out he’s going to give you all the space that you need and let you come back to him at the end of the day, offering you a warm embrace by wrapping you up protectively with his wings. And then, with a little pun here and a light joke there, he’s going to get a smile out of you again.

Speaking of hugs, he absolutely adores them. Getting to be lazy with you and cuddling is one of his favorite activities,  as it also means not having to look after the obnoxious residents of Hell for a while. Rest assured he’s going to ask for five more minutes of cuddling with you every single morning, and if you don’t give them to him he’s definitely going to get pouty.

All things considered, Lucifer is glad he’s not alone anymore, instead he found great company in you and he appreciates all the love that you decide to show him in your unique ways. He’s of course more than willing to shower you in affection, and though he might go a little overboard sometimes, being a bit dramatic and all, you know he means well and you don’t get actually mad at him.

Platonic matchup

Now that you’ve gotten your lover, let’s move on to your platonic matchup!

Alastor!

First of all this came as a surprise to me as well, as Lucifer and Alastor don’t seem to get along very well, but allow me to demonstrate why you would get along with both!

Alastor values good manners, cordiality and intelligence a lot in others, which you all possess, in my opinion. He’s fascinated by your mannerisms just as much as you are by his, and admires the fact that you seem to have many skills. Some of them he might even take part in himself, such as playing chess and delving into darker topics. This would lead you to spending quite some time together, discussing such topics over a chess board.

The friendship between you and Alastor could be seen as unusual by most other people, but in reality it’s based on a very deep trust. You both trust each other to not cross boundaries; you don’t like physical touch from somebody who isn’t close? He’s going to respect that, he’s actually just the same. He’s not the biggest fan of sexual remarks? Sure, you’re going to be relying on other jokes, primarily puns as he seems to be a big enjoyer of those.

You and Alastor enjoy the occasional planned hang out with each other, usually opting for recitals and musicals as you both enjoy those a lot. You respect each other’s wish to quietly follow the play but at the end of it you’re very eager to have an open discussion about it.

Alastor, as the good friend that he is, also tries his best to take care of any kind of conflict that may arise while you’re together for you. Will you have to hold him back from doing anything too crazy? Sure, most of the time a little scare is enough...

He’s also pretty closed off with his own emotions, so a positive thing is that he’s never going to push you to talk about things, even in general. He does worry though, you’re his dear friend, and his way of showing it is by tolerating more than he would usually. May that be a short hug or whatever you might need from him to feel better, he’s willing to make an effort to provide it to you.

Hi! I hope you enjoyed; I made the platonic matchup a little bit shorter, I hope that’s alright, if not I can give you some more headcanons...I don’t mind at all! Tell me what you think, love you <3

[itsjaywalkers]

jegulus & 71 pleaseee :))

i love all your writing btw!!!!

this prompt gave me an excuse to write this silly lil scene i've had stuck in my mind for days SO THANK U FOR THAT BABE

if u recognise what this is loosely based on . no u don't . i'm going thru something okay .

also !! thank u so much nonnie i'm very happy to hear it !! <3

71. "Kiss me, quick!"

Regulus doesn't know how he's managed to land himself a date with James Potter, but he isn't really complaining.

Or, well, maybe he is complaining a little bit, because, technically, it isn't a real date.

He thinks that, to all intents and purposes, though, it's absolutely a date. They're at a restaurant, sitting in the same side of a booth, and they keep gazing into each others eyes, smiling sweetly and giggling while they decide what they want to order.

Regulus can totally pretend this is real if he ignores the not-so-subtle glances James keeps throwing to the couple a few tables away from them. Or how he keeps whispering under his breath what he wants Regulus to do so they look more convincing. Or the fact that James chose to ask him to be his fake date through gritted teeth and a pinched brow.

He supposes it might be kind of his fault. Regulus hasn't been very nice to James, although there's been a considerable improvement since they met, which he believes should be more appreciated.

But, then again, the Regulus of seven months ago wasn't pathetically in love with James Potter.

Regulus misses him dearly. It was so much easier to keep his reputation intact when he didn't have to make an actual effort.

"I'm gonna put my arm around your shoulders," James informs him with a smile. It looks genuine, and it would've fooled Regulus if he didn't know the other man as well as he does.

He nods, offering a smile of his own that despite being considerably smaller, it's actually sincere. Regulus isn't too worried about it, though. Unlike James, he's an excellent actor, the best of their generation if he says so himself, and it's not hard to believe that he'd play his role perfectly.

Even if it's one as unbecoming as being James Potter's boyfriend.

As he said he would, James wraps an arm around him, and Regulus has to will his body to remain cool and relaxed but not too relaxed, or else he'll end up melting against James' body.

He's just so warm. Regulus reckons the other man ought to go see a doctor about it, get it checked, because it shouldn't be normal for a human being to feel so welcoming, so safe.

Regulus shivers, and he isn't sure if it's due to how disgusted he is by his own train of thought, or how well he seems to fit, tucked against James' side.

"I'm gonna put my head on your shoulder," he mutters, tone surprisingly even. Since he's already doing this, he might as well take advantage of it and properly enjoy it.

"Good idea," James murmurs, sounding excited, his eyes fixed on the guy sitting right in front of Macdonald.

Regulus thinks he'd feel more jealous if it weren't because this whole thing is a mere ruse to teach that asshole a lesson after breaking James' heart.

Still, he wishes James was paying attention to him. He's the Regulus Black, after all. It shouldn't be a choice in the first place.

"Oh," James gasps, squirming a little in his place and jostling Regulus' head a little from where it's resting on his shoulder. "He's finally noticed us."

Regulus can barely supress the urge to roll his eyes.

"Maybe we should turn it up a bit, then," he suggests, getting more comfortable and pressing even closer to the other man.

"You're right," James agrees without missing a beat, as if it's not completely unheard of, James admitting to Regulus being right about something. "I'm gonna whisper something in your ear, and you're gonna laugh about it. I know it must be difficult for you, but—"

"Pretending you're funny?" Regulus cuts him off, batting his lashes up at him all coyly. "It's nearly impossible, but unlike others, I do have the acting skills, so I think I'll manage."

James glares down at him, the gesture poorly disguised by a grin. The matching one Regulus gives him in response is totally genuine.

The other man leans down, until his lips are grazing Regulus' earlobe teasingly, and he has to bite down on his lower lip to keep an embarrassing noise from escaping.

"You're the most insufferable person I've ever met," James whispers, his breath hitting Regulus' skin with every word. "And I can't wait for this date to be over."

Oh, Regulus couldn't relate more. He's starting to come too close to popping a fucking boner for comfort.

He laughs, too loud and too eager, behaving like a stupid schoolgirl with a crush, and when realisation dawns on him, he does his best to ignore that he is basically a schoolgirl with a crush.

Regulus thinks that this must be what hitting rock bottom feels like.

"Fuck, he's looking this way," James says, still way too close to Regulus' ear, to his fucking neck. "He's actually looking this way. Oh my god, I can't believe this is working!"

"That makes two of us," Regulus huffs after daring to take a peek and discovering that James' annoying ex is, in fact, focused on them and their cheesy display. He even seems to be shooting daggers at them.

"Shit, Gideon looks so mad," James comments, positively giddy at the thought. "We gotta do something else, something that actually drives the message home."

"And what would that message be?" Regulus drawls, tilting his face the slightest bit, making it seem like they're actually having a Moment.

"Probably 'you're a fucking prick and I'm glad we're over and you're gonna regret playing with me like you did.'"

Regulus hums, considering, and then his mouth is opening before he even has the opportunity to think about it. "Kiss me, then."

James splutters, eyes widening comically and jaw almost dropping to the floor. Regulus wants to snap at him for breaking character after all their hard work, but now that James has decided to fuck up so badly, someone's gotta keep their charade afloat.

"What?" he nearly yells, and it's almost physically painful for Regulus, holding back his scowl.

"Fucking keep it down," Regulus hisses, his expression resembling a lovesick fool's. "How do you want this to look believable otherwise? Especially after sabotaging us like this."

James has no business looking as offended as he does right now. If anything, Regulus should be the one sporting that aggrieved frown, considering the circumstances.

"Shut up," James grumbles, all petulantly like a child. "I don't want to fucking kiss you."

Regulus swallows the sudden wave of nausea and the pieces of his broken heart, and arches a judging eyebrow.

"And you think I do?" he questions with a sniff. "I'm doing this to help, but if you'd rather ruin your own plan because of your stupid pride, then be my guest."

"I know you're not just lecturing me about pride, of all things—"

"James, I think he's about to get up. Fuck, what if he comes here? Shit, this is—kiss me, quick!"

"Excuse me, he's doing what!?" James whips his head around in mild panic, just to see that Gideon really is pushing his chair away from the table, all his attention on them.

"James," Regulus urges him, elbowing him harshly on the side.

It takes James a couple of seconds to return his focus to Regulus, at least a dozen emotions flickering behind his eyes. "I'm not—I don't think we—"

With a long-suffering sigh, Regulus grips the front of James' shirt and pulls him in, clashing their mouths together and swallowing James' surprised gasp.

He tries to tell himself it's fine, that he's kissed other people before when shooting scenes for his show, and this isn't any different. Regulus didn't feel anything back then, because it was just work, just another role, and in a way, this thing with James is, too.

But it doesn't matter how much he tries, how he keeps repeating these words in his head like a mantra. His heart still speeds up as he moves his mouth against James', who seems completely frozen on the spot. His cheeks still burn, the blush probably being noticeable from a distance. His body still relaxes against James', seeking more of that lovely warmth, more of James' touch.

It's over way too soon, but the other man isn't responding, and if he keeps it up for too long with James just sitting there and taking it, their audience is bound to notice.

Regulus pulls away with a truly idiotic smile, and he hates that he doesn't even have to fake it.

"See? That wasn't so hard, was it?" he murmurs, while James blinks down at him.

He's about to turn around, search for Gideon and hopefully relish in his jealous expression, when he feels a hand on his jaw. The grip is unforgiving, bordering on desperate, and before Regulus has the chance to question it, or swat the contact away, James is pulling him in for another kiss.

This one's different. Less performative. Regulus wasn't actually acting in the first one, because he's been wanting to kiss the other man for a few months now, but he was still hyperaware of Gideon, of what they were trying to do. Of James being completely unresponsive.

In this case, however, it's sort of impossible to focus on anything that isn't James, who's kissing him eagerly, hungrily, deepening the kiss the moment Regulus begins reciprocating. He licks at his lips, requesting permission, and Regulus grants it without a second thought, nothing but white noise inside his brain.

Their tongues tangle, and James makes a keening sound against Regulus' panting mouth. His fingers twitch around the material of James' shirt, a whimper on the tip of his tongue when their teeth clash in their desperation.

Once again, Regulus is the one that puts an end to it, even if it's more out of survival instinct than actual want. You see, they start to get too into it, especially considering they're in a very public place, surrounded by other people.

There's nothing wrong with a bit of snogging, and Regulus has seen way worse than their little make out session. But then James' free hand is gripping onto his waist, pulling Regulus in until he's nearly straddling his lap, blood rushing south at an alarming pace and hips twitching with the need to thrust in search of some friction.

Surprisingly, Regulus still has some sense of self-preservation left.

He captures James' lower lip between his teeth and tugs, dragging another obscene sound out of him, before finally breaking their kiss. Regardless, James doesn't allow him to get far, his hold on him tightening as soon as Regulus attempts to put some space between them.

"Yeah," James exhales, sounding absolutely wrecked. "That wasn't hard at all."