#also the john in this fic is so nice i wish real john was like thag ;-; why can't dean have a good dad!!! he deserves it!!!

[hauntedpearl]

I've been reading my beloved ao3 user everandanon's fic expectations lately and god i love susan so much Susan is my best friend my confidant my silly rabbit even goDDDDD

[agirlwholovesrockstars]

don't you forget about me

☆ EDDIE MUNSON'S MASTERLIST ☆

❣ AGATHA'S MAIN PAGE ❣

๑ Summary : will you be true to your word that you won't forget about Eddie when both of you stood on your ground with your hopes and dreams succeeded?

๑ Word Count : idk if y'all like longer fics, but I'm just eyeballing it on the right amount, I'm so excited for this one hehe

๑ Warnings : 18+ Songwriter!Eddie Munson x Popstar!FEM!reader, cursing, use of y/n, highschool classmates, set in modern era (but with 80's aesthetics) Eddie is (21), reader is (20), Eddie is also very shy doesn't know how to express he feels but he cares, reader is jittery and rambles when she's nervous! VERY CUTE! I promise :))

๑ What to Expect : friends to lovers, unrequited feelings, FLUFF! this can be slightly awkward but I am a woman of my word it would be absolutely adorable!

๑ Note To Reader : I just had this idea that Eddie and reader while reunite after so many years later and they both can't handle that their friendship has never changed! it's still pretty rock solid! 😭🫶🏻✨

๑ Author Note : I worship John Hughes films, so, you know the drill! 😉 and um- sorry if I'm bringing myself some of my fics in this but the beginning happened to me in real life, so, yes, I miss that specific person (yeah the same guy that had a crush on for 10 fucking years 😃👍🏻) I haven't seen him since 2018 👀

"Stop- what are you doing?!" you said to him while having a breathy laugh

He smirks as he looks at you within his eyelashes as he tries to hold you still while writing something down on the back of your hand

"Eddie, this is ridiculous" you say to him as you shook your head sideways but a fond smile is sitting on your lips as you glanced at your back a bunch of students are hollering in excitement for the school year end because knowing damn well that whatever he is written down on your hand it will not stay, it would be easily removed once you took a bath when you get home

But, you don't mind it anyways, you smile at him as you watch him curiously as you can see his lips muttering different words under his breath as he writes

"You're the one who is being ridiculous" he says to you not looking at your eyes yet

You chuckle at his reply as you playfully roll your eyes at him

"There" he says as he brings back the cap of his blue ballpen, you heard it with a click

You bring your hand close to your face as you read what it says

"Don't let anyone else stop you for following your dream"

you lightly giggle when some of the words are not aligned as it goes wonky down on the back of your hand but still it's nice and you liked it

"Don't forget about me when you get famous with your singing career" he leans forward to get close to you, so, you could hear him clearly

The hallways are filled with whooping and screaming in excitement of students that are cheering for the school year end, Eddie chortled at the sight of it

You missed the way he looks at you

You raised your head as you flash him a sweet adoring smile as you nod

You shyly taken a back from his words of encouragement that really meant true as you judge by his tone

You snort "Okay, Eddie"

A smile tugs to his lips as he leans his back on the railing as he spoke again "I mean it, Y/N"

You look back at him and you directly look into his eyes

"Just don't ever forget about me, okay?"

It's very heartwarming to you that he is so kind "Of course, I will never forget about you, Eddie"

How would you ever forget Eddie Munson?

When he's the only one guy in your school campus who is so respectful towards you?

That was 2016, nine years ago

You've been classmates since 7th grade and even though you don't both have the same section from 8th grade and 9th grade

You still see each other and interacted a little

You kinda wish that he was still your classmates all those years

Sometimes, though, you winced at the memories when you're with him, you cringe at it at how you make things weird and awkward

You hate it when you get all so jumpy and nervous around him, I mean- it's just Eddie but the problem is that he doesn't know that you just realized it back in 8th grade that you finally figured it out that you developed feelings for him

You both weren't exactly close

Yeah, both of you tease each other and make fun and silly jokes sometimes

Yes, you both have a few conversations and slightly deeper talks about both of your families when your teacher on P.E class partnered the both of you together for the dance project

That's the only time that you ever both talked real to each other

That little moment, until now is still vivid to you

But still, you're not that close to him

He was just a good friend or maybe just a good classmate that you had

You encountered him again back in 2018 when both of your paths crossed while being on the escalators

You noticed him first but before you call out to him, you made sure that it was him because you moved on to another school after 9th grade, so, pretty much something's have changed but him?

He never did, he is still stylish as ever and so are you

But of course, both of you grew up

You're now already looking at him and you expect him to notice you, so, you didn't do anything at first and when you both finally met in the middle of the escalator and he is still doesn't saw you on the other side and he is mere inches close to you and you're too fucking shy to call his name out, you tried to tap on the handles to make a sound but no to avail, as you had no choice but to say his name

"Eddie!"

He whipped his head around the second you call him

He smiles and leans back forward as the both of you stare at each other

You shyly wave at him as you duck your head down to look at where you're going

From the corner of your eye, you saw him reached at the end of the escalator, his eyes still locked on you

But goddamn, it's 2024, you're 20 and he's 21

Both of you are college students now

Your feelings for him remained the same way and all of the crushes that you had from elementary to highschool

He's the only one ever to take over your heart this long

So long that sometimes, you wonder, if you try to confess it, so, it will be all over

But isn't that embarrassing? since well....

You haven't seen him since what?!? 2018???

2018 was the last time you ever saw him

You also haven't talked to him for years

Besides, seeing him on his Instagram profile but that doesn't count

But you did some risky stuff and you made such a big deal out of it because you're too overreacting with your giddy feelings for him

Like for instance

You complimented him on his Instagram stories in 2021 and he only heart reacted on it

You greeted him on his birthday for the first time ever in 2022 (you're wishing that he won't find it weird that you know his birthday and you hoped that he still remembers that he also wrote on your slambook back in 7th grade, that's why you knew) you also send your pictures with him from the field trip that you both had in 8th grade

And that right there, you received a message

A message that is so short but so endearing and it really means a lot to you

He says that he is sorry for not reaching out to you after all of those years passed and he is glad that you hadn't changed ever since then and he appreciates and he is so grateful for the highschool memories that you both had together

Even it's just a short amount of period at that time

2023, you greeted him again on his birthday but he only said thank you

You kinda hoped that he'll message you

But, girl- thank god that you aware of the term called "reality check" because why would he message you all of the sudden since that you both didn't knew very well

You sigh in hopelessly romantic manner wishing that he'll talk to you someday

Yeah, a smile grows on your lips all the time when you always receive a notification that he likes your posts

Damn, only a notification from him already lightens up your day

How fucking great, that's how pathetic it is

"5 minutes then you're good to go!"

Okay, fast forward from your train of thoughts, right- you got a show to run

You're a popstar now and you made it like you always wanted to be

Despite, everyone from your school bullies tries to pull you down

Eddie

Eddie is the only one who believed in you and supported you all the way even both of your lives are different now than before

While in the autograph signing table

"You're such an inspiration!" A young girl said as she beams up as she watches you sign up of your portraits photograph

"Thank you so much, sweetie! I'm very happy to hear that, did you had fun?"

She aggressively nods as she starts bopping up and down on her heels in excitement, you chuckled at that and you gave back the signed picture of yours to her as she gives you huge smile as she takes her leave

You didn't noticed the next person as you start signing

"As you walk on by, will you call my name?"

The sound of the person's voice is too unreal for you to hear and to register of what you just heard as you paused on what you're doing as you slowly raise your head up at the person who is standing in front of the table across from you as you gasp that you thought you're not going to see him again after 2018

But, now, here, he is finally once again

You've always dreamed about this

You've always wanted this to happen

It's unbelievable

You know that face and voice and that iconic smirk on him as you take him in

"Eddie?" You're still gasping in shock as you cupped your mouth in surprise as you look around you and your eyes are twinkling as he looks down on you in adoration and now the other fans that are waiting in line are getting curious and they flash you a smile as they relished and witness the reunion of the both of you

He grins as he nods as he shoved his hands onto his pockets "Ah- she remembers me!" You giggled to his classic antics

He hasn't changed

You could hear everyone who is asking, the buzzing "who is he?" "omg- they knew each other?!?" "wait- maybe he is the guy from her songs!"

You're too overwhelmed from all of this that you almost forget that you have to sign all of the pictures

You motion for him to lean down as you say "Can you wait for me backstage?"

He smiles "Yeah, sweetheart- I'll meet you there"

You sheepishly smile at him again as you gave him access that made everyone eyes goes wild, the crowd seems to go nuts over it

And by that the following question had been like this

"Who is the lucky guy?"

"Why is he getting the special treatment?"

"Is he your boyfriend?"

You don't give them all the personal information from your life and all the details but you confirmed that he is the guy from your songs and you love how your fans squealed and get thrilled from this

After an hour, the show is over and you bid goodbye to your fans and thank them for attending, you stretch your arms out and massage your neck as you exhale as you headed into the backstage

"Y/N's a star now" he leans his back on the wall as he smiles at you

He says the moment you moved the curtains on the side as you snort at his comment

You went into the small comfort room as you change your clothes into much more relaxing attire

"Hey, Eddie, I hope you didn't get bored for waiting"

"Nah, I don't mind it- sweets"

Once you get dressed, you open the door, so, you can talk to each other as you start to remove your makeup with a cotton pad as you double cleanse with rinsing it thoroughly

He watches you put a tinted lip balm on your lips, he swallows as he hangs his head low for a while

You groan at the hairstyle that you had earlier but you absolutely loved it getting all glammed up but you're just so tired and wanting to get this everything off so you can get to rest

Both of you kept talking but you didn't notice how he looks at you and watches your every move from removing the pins and hair ties from your hair from brushing it and you let your hair down as you grab your shoulder bag

He is so entranced by you like as you do too

Only if he knew

And only if you knew

His daze has cut off the time when you're literally now in front of him, he snapped out of it when he tries to recall of what you just asked him

"Do you want to walk outside?"

"Y-Yeah sure, come on, let's go"

You told your crew that you'll be back and you look out for them and always saying thank you for getting the job done

The walk was.....pleasing....but too quiet for you

It seems like Eddie can read your thoughts as he finally spoke up

"How many years had passed?"

A knowing smile is showing onto your features as you glanced at him

"9 years"

He raises both of his eyebrows "Damn" as he chuckles in disbelief

"Yeah" the smile still lingers on your lips

"Did you get to do it?"

"Do what?"

"Your band? Corroded Coffin?"

There's a glint on his eyes as he stops to his tracks as he stares at you for a moment

"What?" You ask him in confusion

"Nothing, it's just- you still remember that?" He tilts his head at you as he squints his eyes

"Well, of course! you told me not to forget about you, right?"

"You're always true to your word, sweetheart, I like that for you"

You both sat down on the bench in front of the fountain as you watch random kids playing

He sighs but he notices that you're awaiting for his answer as you quirk an eyebrow at him as he snorts

"Uh, no- Jeff, Gareth and Me, played for 4 to 5 years, I think? We had a blast but I realized that being a rockstar, it's not for me permanently"

"But, I thought you always wanted to be rockstar"

"Yeah, well, we got a record deal for a while-"

"What?!? Really?!?"

He chuckles to your excitement as you turn your whole body facing to him

"Yup, and we- uh- did a little tour here and there but, it just felt like that's not what I was looking for" he shrugs as he looks down as he starts to fidget his rings

You notice that, you always do, it's his nervous habit, you smile at him sadly

"How about Jeff and Gareth?"

"They got all their own ambitions and all of us took the same thing and we agree to not totally disband but, maybe, someday I don't know in the future, we'll get back to where we started"

You nod at him in understanding "I still feel superior to be one of the very first audience" you smirk

He whips his around at you at that and he blinks slowly like he just had a flashback

Yeah, if he's supportive to you and so do you

"the most loud cheerier ever, I gotta say" he laughs as you facepalmed as you can remember all of it

"So, what do you do now?"

"Uh, I'm a songwriter"

You react in delightful way and he chuckles at your face that you make

Both of you reminiscence your highschool memories as both of you look back at it

"Y/N, you-"

"Yeah?"

He hesitates for a few seconds as he chuckles as he dismissive his hand at you

"It's getting late" he says as he clears his throat

Your smile slightly falls as you glanced on your watch

It's been 2 in half hours

"I guess, we better get going then"

You both stand up as he walk you through the parking lot

You dig your nails through your palms as you think twice if you should tell him right away how you really feel about him

You can't chicken out now

You're not a kid anymore, you can take the rejection and well....

At least you tried, so, it will bring you peace

You've been fighting for your whole life not to ask him before, it's plaguing every year passed

Only a few more steps, you can sight your van

You took a deep breath, you know you'll make a rambling mess out of a speech but you don't care

"Eddie" you say as you turn around to look at him

He raises his head the moment you call his name

You walked closer to him as he looks at you as he waits for you to speak

"I know this is going to sound so out of place but uh- I have feelings for you since we we're 7th grade, I didn't know that I had it since I just suddenly realized it when we we're in 8th grade and ever since then and now I still have it for almost 10 years and it's okay, you don't have to-"

"I know"

You're stunned, you can't function to speak anymore

"I-I'm sorry?"

"I know and I'm aware of it"

He can't just say that to you like it was nothing

You're definitely screaming inside to this mind-blowing revelation

Your cheeks starts to glowing red as you feel all bashful to his gaze

Your eyes suddenly can't manage the hold to look in his anymore

"Even before?" You whisper as you wrap your arms to yourself

He's now the one who moves towards you

You're appalled and you didn't even noticed that your mouth is hanging agape as you shut it and swallow

"How did you find out?" You ask without looking at his eyes

He runs his tongue over his lips "from Gareth, and you know him he's got a big mouth and all that"

You close your eyes in humiliation as you bite down your lip

Fuck

You shouldn't have been talking to him or giving a clue

But, sometimes though, you give hints when you're having a conversation with him

Gareth, somehow, finds the missing puzzles and figures it all out

Traitor

You couldn't stand here and you feel ashamed of what you just did, my god, what are you thinking?

"Listen, uh- it's good to see you, I gotta go" you say as your drag your heels to walk away from him as fast as your feet can take you

But, he reaches out and holds your wrist making you stop

"Y/N, don't go"

"Why?"

"Because-" he sighs as he runs his fingers through his hair

"I'm no expert in showcasing my feelings, okay? I-I'm shy"

Your entire discomfort of being flustered has completely washed away

You find it amusing, well, Eddie has always been shy but really???

There's nothing to be mousy about when he's with you

"You're shy?" You echoed what he just said as you pursed your lips together

He scratches the back of his neck as he clicks his tongue as he nods his head slowly

You exhale "Well, fuck- Eddie, I'm shy too! I can't even blurt it out loud of what I've been carrying for what?!? 10 years?!?"

You start pacing back and forth in front of him as he breathes through his nose

"See, Eddie, I've always liked you, okay? or maybe I took your kindness way out of line" you throw hands up

He gave you that doe eye look and you avoid looking at it as you continue rambling at him

"I can't even comprehend why? Why am I still clinging onto you for all these years? I hate that you still made me swoon over you and make me feel things!"

His mouth starts to slowly hanging open to your subtle confession

"You know what's unbelievable to me? Is that you don't know me and I don't know anything about you but still it feels like I knew you even though we don't talk a lot back then and it hurts, it hurts that you're so big-hearted and it pains me that you're just so mellow person" your voice cracks and that's where the time the water works starts to fill up in your eyes

You sniffle as you quickly wipe your tears from your cheeks "You're the only guy that has ever been so nice to me, the only who cared, the only one who hasn't changed towards me since highschool, I don't even know what's the reason why"

He is still remains silent, probably still processing every information that you just told him

His eyes softens and his heart is begging to leap forward outside of his chest

"Y/N" he holds your forearm softly as he runs his thumbs over it, you shivered from his touch

"Have you ever wondered why I still don't have a girl beside me?"

He is still single?!? What?!?

You gulped as you look at him with hopeful eyes and tear-stained cheeks

He smiles down at you as you scrunch up your face in a shameful way that you don't like him to see you crying like this

Oh

That's right

You haven't seen anyone with him since elementary or highschool

He had a couple of silly crushes that you heard from your classmates before but still

You don't saw anyone else with him

And that alone made you think a lot since Eddie is not an asshole, it's mind-boggling

You're still in denial that you might think he has the same feelings for you

As if

"Eddie- I think you're a great human being, anyone is lucky to have you"

He chuckles slightly as you dodged his point

"I didn't date because why?"

You take all the courage that's left inside of you as you look at him

"You already have my heart, darling"

Your eyes flutters to his admission, your heartbeats faster that it might burst any second

He likes you?!?

"A-Are you sure? I don't u-understand- why didn't you m-make a move before?" You stuttered, your voice sounds so small and it makes his heartache

"I was a coward" he pulls you closer to him your eyes widen but you melt to his touch

"W-What about the messages that I sent you? Does that mean anything to you?" A sprinkle of insecurity is showing through your tone and he catches it, he reassures you that it means a lot to him

He grins at the birthday wishes that you make before

"I appreciate them all, I-I just didn't know how to express it in there, so, when I found out that you're have a show in here, maybe it's time to take it to the next level, it feels it's the right thing to do in person"

He embraces you for the first time and the only time that you ever became this much closer to him, you feel his warmth enveloping you his arms surrounding you in the most cozy way possible, you sigh in content as you squeeze him

"Feel better?" He asks as he still holds you tightly

"Yes" you whisper softly as you smile against his chest inhaling on his scent, it's intoxicating

The moment you pushed yourself away from him, you slipped on the thin ice as his reflexes are fast enough to catch you before you can hit the icy cold ground

You gasp as your eyes goes everywhere to his face as you held on him to stabilize you to get back up on your feet

He's so mere inches close, his eyes sparkle as he stares at you

He slowly lifts you back on, both of you didn't break eye contact

He can't help himself as his hand crawls at your waist to flush your body against his, you fight for your breath for the idea that he's about to do

His eyes flits through your eyes and to your lips, he goes for it as you close your eyes as you kissed him back

"Is it too late?" The smugness is radiating off of him when you chase his lips to peck on it

"I think we both waited on the right time" you say as you kissed his cheek

His cheeks blooms red as he dramatically freaked out as you let out a fit of giggles

"I'm relieved that you're patient to finally let me get out of my shell"

"Oh, be thankful that I have a wide patience or else I'll fucking lose it"

He laughs as he rest his forehead against yours

"You're the most perfect girl ever"

You smile brightly "And you're the most perfect boy ever"

Your crew call out to you saying that you have interview tomorrow morning

"Be with me?"

"Forever?"

You snort as you elbowed him as he catches you off guard pressing another kiss to your lips

"I love you, Y/N- you have absolutely no idea"

彡★

[bombshelllblonde]

hiiihihii!! im backkkk to tell u abt my rdr playthough bc im bored asf haha

¡love this game omg!! the graphics, the story, the details UGH!!!!

hunting is actually so fun for no reason- i bought so many fancy ass guns too 😭

also my play type whenever i play ANY story game thats open world is to do every possible thing every except the actual story so i get a bunch of stuff and then its so muvh easier

in short i have 6000+ dollars 😋

bonus of exploring everything is i got thw white arabian and i love her sm ‼️‼️ i named her pearl and she is my baby

dress up is my seconf favorite hobby

my fav outfit rn is the red vest w the floral pattern on the front (i forget what its called) n the black french dress shirt underneath + the bison necklace talisman

(also arthur w medium-long length hair n short facial hair>>>)

this game is so detail oriented, its kind of insane- im doing a high honor run atm, and i came across the blind beggar for the third (?) time and the blind guy said and i quote

"that is which killing you will finally help you, friend- to hear and see."

is this foreshadowing this feels like foreshadowing

also ik arthurs dies (bc of tiktok edits and fics, they artists in this fandom is amazing!!!) and im not prepared at all 😭 im going to procrastinate so bad 

ALSO CHARLES DESERVES SO SO MUCH I LOVE HIM

yk the hole lil speech he has at the campfire yk "most human beings seem to know why they were born but, for me- its seems i was just mean ton hurt and suffer myself" that one

im bawling istg if he doesnt get a good ending im going to be writing a formal complaint to rockstar games

anyways

tw opinions (ik bro its crazy to have opinions in 2024 whattt no wayy)

ive gotten to the point in playing where im in ch 3, and the only way i can progress the actual story is to help micah rob a stagecoach or whatever

micah is a bastard and i dont like him

him as a character is rlly well written and awesome but,,,,,hes,,,slimy,,and i hate him,,,,so he can wait for a little longer ☺️

my favorite characters rn in no particular order is

arthur (obviously) , charles , sean , javier , tilly , marybeth , and kieran

my pookies ‼️‼️

moving on im so sorry this is so so long 😭 idk anyone who likes rdr irl lmao

anyway hope u have a nice day and no wolves attack you and spoke ur horse who bucks you off a cliff

(in rdr btw)

((true story also))

yo, having 6k in chapter 3 is amazing. good for you!

my first playthrough i got the white arabian and i named her Lemoyne Tree as a tribute to the state of Lemoyne and my favorite post malone song Lemon Tree. But she always got super dirty so i then went to the lake next to Strawberry and tamed the red chestnut arabian. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that one, she's gorgeous and arthur always gets that one when i play it. my beautiful baby girl Diablo <3

also yes. heckin FUCK MICAH BELL. even from the beginning he's been a slime ball. hate that man <3

i won't go too far, but just keep yourself high honor towards the end of the game. you need that to be your first ending. :')

Charles deserves the absolute world. just listening to him speak and hanging out with him at camp, and the missions you continue on to do with him throughout the game are so much fun. charles is someone i wish i could have in my real life because he seems like he would be the best person to speak to and hang out with. he is so lovely and down to earth. even arthur says it a couple times throughout the game. charles gets a good ending i promise.

my top blorbos are Arthur, Dutch, Charles, Hosea, and Josiah Trelawny my absolute beloved <33333 just wait until you go on the mission with Charles to find trelawny. one of my favorite missions ever ever ever ever!!

a lot of people dislike dutch, but i love him so much. he is my actual father. i love him.

i also hate john. let me know how you feel about that little greasy weasel of a man. :)))

i'm so so so glad you're having fun and i am very invested, so please continue to keep me updated on what ur doing because i need to live vicariously through you. if i could erase my entire mind and replay the game over and over again for the first time, i totally would

[sig-nifier]

21, 23

21 - a piece of my writing that i liked, but had to cut

i actually don't keep drafts of my writing, so i normally only have the finished product. (i also never edit fics, what i post is usually the first draft and i'll reread it once, fix any mistakes and go eh good enough) having said that, i do still have a line from make you feel alive that i never included

"John believes that if you're most likely to be shot down and killed everytime you do your job, you have to make the most of the time you have.

Gale would agree, but he'd also argue that a man is less likely to be shot down and killed if he flew like a sane human being.

Bucky doesn't see the fun in that."

23 - a piece of my writing that was inspired by a work from another medium (music, visual art, dance, etc.)

i nearly wrote my uni disseration on a series of conversations with an alien, where the alien learns about life on earth. it was going to be about really simple or broad things like birthdays and standing in line and that kind of thing, but i only ever wrote one conversation. it was about friendship, and it was heavily inspired by the 1986 film stand by me.

(i was going to post just a snippet but honestly i really love this and someone should get to see the whole thing)

The alien arrives on his doorstep, suitcase in hand, and says; “I’ve come to learn about humanity.”

Friendship

I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?

“Well?”

The alien is sat cross legged on the floor in front of the TV. A mug of tea – teabags had been fun to explain – is clasped snuggly within their six fingers. “I’m not sure I understand.”

“I – what’s there to understand?”

“This is a well-loved film among your people?”

“It’s a classic, yes.”

They turn from the television screen to look back at him. “A classic?”

He waves a hand, wafting through the air to try and locate a better definition. In the end, he simply settles on; “well-loved.”

“But why? What’s the message?”

“Films don’t always need a message – but this one, I suppose, is about treasuring friendship, or something like that.”

“Treasuring friendship.”

“Appreciating the friends that you have, yes.”

The alien shuffles (rather badly) to turn their body away from the screen and face where he sits on the sofa. Tea sloshes over the edge of their mug, but if they notice they do not show it.

“And what is the purpose of a friend?”

“Well, that’s…hm. The purpose of a friend is to be a friend. It’s sort of a broad but simple term.”

“What do friends do?”

“They spend time together, for one.”

“Why?”

“Because they enjoy each other’s company.”

“But what’s the point?”

“The point?” He sighs.

“What do you gain?”

“You gain their friendship. That kind of is the point.”

“But why?”

An alien, it occurs to him, is sometimes no more than an exasperating child. Their innocence is so pure, their lack of knowledge something to be defended, and yet it is every parents wish that their child would grow wise fast, with the outcome being that they never again have to hear the phrase but why.

“Because it’s nice, having someone who you have no real loyalty to – hanging out with someone you like just because you like them and share some kind of mutual, unspoken promise that you’ll keep on liking them for no real reason other than you just do.”

The alien considers this, tapping an uncomfortably long finger on the side of their mug, and he prays to whatever God he doesn’t believe in that their next words won’t be another question.

“Are we friends?”

Well. That was certainly unexpected. He supposes caretaker would be a better word, but the alien is looking at him so expectantly and hopeful.

“Yes, of course we are.”

The alien seems pleased.

“Does it make more sense that way?”

“Yes, I think it does.”

[pearwaldorf]

I really need to stop listening to Malevolent in the mornings because it is Too Much to have such intense feelings about sad detective and eldritch hitchhiker before work!! But can I wait until after work? Also no.

This episode had the range, damn. Arthur completely off his rocker consumed with thoughts of revenge, John pleading with him to see reason, remember his humanity. Such a good role reversal.

One of the things I love about this podcast is how good the audio production is. In addition to Arthur's blindness being a clever conceit as a vehicle for (literal) description, And the music is part of this. There's not a lot of variation in what's used: Faroe's song, "You Call It Madness", maybe something else. And when you hear something else, that's like a big screeching siren that you need to pay attention. I don't even know what that discordant sound that plays when Arthur and John are having their argument about whether Arthur's intended actions are justified. Maybe something scraping over piano strings?

The pacing is also impeccable--just enough time for the building dread and concern for this character (who we've spent so much time with and rooted for) to coalesce before it all goes to shit. Arthur dropping the knife. Stabbing the empty bed. And then, a literal repeat of what Arthur and Yellow did to get into Uncle's room. The music box was a nice touch, in a real fucked-up way. I respect that.

I'm also so fucking mad the way "bedrock" is used in this episode. At first I thought it was John not getting the idiom quite correct. But the way it comes up again with Peter, it's also a base. Something with stability that you can use to build on, climb up from. I don't think we've ever gotten any information canonically about what Arthur and Peter's relationship was like until now. And he's absolutely cast in the same position as John: the constant, the one good thing. I have no way of knowing if Arthur included Parker in "Because I can't lose another person!" but I'd like to think so. (And oh, to be so intimate with the being who took somebody that dear and important away from you. There's a story there that I wish somebody would tell.)

(Also, there is something to be said about how all the important people in Arthur's life are ghosts by the time we get to know them.)

The thing about fictional characters(') suffering is that it is, ultimately, selfish. They're not real, so it doesn't matter if they hurt. Which is not to say that it can't be done poorly or gratuitously, but it is for us, the creators and the consumers of said work to tell us things we need to hear. You do not need to walk a hundred miles in the desert on your knees, repenting. A terrible mistake does not mean you are unforgivable. The discovery of your humanity can help you transcend the wrongs you did for eons. You are not a monster. And even if you are, it doesn't matter. Somebody will love you anyways.

The last part of the episode is satisfying on a level that some people might call fan service. But that particular term, I think, implies an unearned indulgence. Nothing about what happens is unearned. John pulling Arthur back from the brink with his steadying belief in Arthur's conviction, reflecting that humanity Arthur taught him. John reciting Robert Frost to Arthur!! I was ugly crying on my rowing machine! I have never had any emotional attachment to "Stopping By the Woods on a Snowy Evening" or "Invictus" but I sure as heck do now!

And the apple! The beautiful crisp sound of it! (Somebody in the tag said it had to be an apple because it's the only fruit that makes a pleasing sound, which is also true. But apples are also the only fruit that could really survive through winter before the advent of modern transportation, and there's some symbolism in that.) wildehack made a comment on my fic about how Arthur is so spare in all the time we've known him: not just thin, but starved, and John fits himself into those spaces. And to see Arthur feel pleasure, enjoyment, expansive with hope? It was earned, and good.

ALSO HE PROMISED DATE NIGHT!

[edit:] I forgot about Faroe's music box! I thought Arthur would take it, but he doesn't need it anymore. And that's not a loss, that's closure, and I am so glad for him.

[kiwisbell]

Hi, it's Helen!anon coming to you from tumblr on my computer for the first time ever!!! I have only ever used it on my phone but to bring you my promised very long thoughts on Helen chapter 2 I wanted to also make references to chapter 1 and going between tabs on my computer is easier than my phone so!!! LET US EMBARK ON WHAT IS SURE TO BE A VERY LONG ADVENTURE (also there is no rhyme or reason to the order of what I've written I just had so many thoughts pls forgive me)

So after reading chapter 2 I am even more curious as to the opening section of chapter 1 bc I could see Joel loosing his shit and going scorched earth for so many reasons. If wife dies? He's loosing it! If she doesn't want anything to do with him anymore? He's loosing it! If they are reconciling but she is under threat? He's loosing it! And here I was wishing for an ending with a puppy :( feels like that is very far away at this point (but in a realistic way though!! These revelations SHOULD put the puppy discussion on the back burner!!) Having revisited chapter 1 I also want to amend the theory from my last message: I think Bill (which chapter 2 tells us is in Joel's contacts!!) will be the Marcus equivalent, and now I think Tess will be the Perkins of this fic, but what do I know!!!

One thing that I didn't really think about until I had processed chapter 2 is how Joel has been missing his wife for a whole month, and then RIGHT as he gets her back shit goes down and there is this huge fissure in their relationship. For one, it really nicely parallels the way that RIGHT when John gets Daisy (to help him mourn after his wife passes) shit goes down. Additionally, Joel in chapter 1 says "Never leave again" thinking his biggest concern should be the length of her business trips, not knowing her leaving temporarily is about to seem REAL GOOD when faced with the possibility of her just leaving, period. I love me some foreshadowing but when I go back and spot it I'm always like !!!!! Also the way Joel can never stick to rules when it comes to her was so sweet until I realised that he also cannot stick to the rule that he will not get sucked back into his old life now that he has her... yes he can be meticulous and calculating due to the nature of his job for many years but he is so driven by emotion! We love tragic irony in that the same woman he loved enough to leave the life for, ultimately ends up being the woman he gets back into it for!!! And it fits your characterisation of his childhood trauma so profoundly, nobody ever taught him healthy coping skills!!! This reminds me of that post going around that's a picture of Joel and the text says "like it’s MY fault my love language is acts of service and all i know how to do is kill". Like when he says "“I can't just… let it all go.”"!!!! This depth of this man's tortured-soul-issues is rivalled only by the depth of his love for his wife and that seems to be the root of all of this, basically

Next I want to talk about how well you've blended writing a chapter that stands on its own while also building on the previous chapter!!! Like obviously the plot is continuing and we're getting flashbacks so the story of chapter 2 works in its on right. But on a deeper level I really feel like my experience of rereading chapter 1 was ENRICHED by the existence of chapter 2 and vice versa. The wife asking Joel to take her home in chapter 1, then in chapter 2 we get "Red stains the grooves of his palms. Doesn’t he know that you just wanted to go home?" and "“It’ll be done,” he says desperately. “And we can go home.”" and "“Home is with my husband. I’m looking at you now, and I don't recognise an inch of the man I married.”" and then "“We don't have a home anymore, Joel. We have this hotel room" THE THEMATIC LAYERING!!!! I think this also really works nicely within the questioning of their marriage and his identity - if they don't have a (physical) home anymore, if he lied about who he is to the extent that their whole relationship feels like a lie, do they have an emotional home together anymore? In that same vein, the parallels drawn between Joel and his wife between the two chapters makes this question all the more heartbreaking!! Bc in chapter 1 we get the flashback to her 2nd gallery showing where it's revealed "devotion" means something for the first time for both of them BECAUSE of the other. And we see the ways in which they care for each other (she cuts Joel's hair bc that's how he is most comfortable. He doesn't get it cut himself. bc she said she likes it - SUCH a good "example!!"show don't tell"). Then in chapter 2, even when they're not on the best terms, he insists the doctor see to her injury first even though he is more severely injured - meanwhile she is so clearly worried about him when he's getting stitches that he is shocked she can care for him so obviously while also clearly being mad at him!!! (These two are gonna be the death of me!!) ALSO the idea that poetry and philosophy are not opposites bc they need each other!!!! (I SEE YOU Coleridge was both a poet and a philosopher, Machen was a scholar and Wilde was a poet, they both like a bit of each I SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOING I SEE IT AND IT IS KILLING ME) Another parallel that ruined me? Joel remembering the name + address of the man who groped her years ago in chapter 1 to Joel saying he can't let the attack go in chapter 2... This makes me think of the Hozier song "Arsonist's Lullaby", the chorus says "All you have is your fire/And the place you need to reach/Don't you ever tame your demons/But always keep 'em on a leash" and that is exactly what happened with this Joel!! He never moved on from his past he just bottled it up and look where that got him!!! I mentioned Joel never being able to stick to his rules when it comes to her above and literally in chapter 1 you wrote "Maybe it reminds him of what he could never do, now that he had you. It seems the rules have been bent." YOUR ABILITY TO LAY BREADCRUMBS ASTOUNDS ME OH MY GOOOOD. The piece of continuity from chapter 1 that haunts me the MOST is that it is REPEATEDLY specified Joel cannot sleep without her and then she gets separate beds for them in the SAME room so he can see her, she is literally within reach but he cannot actually HAVE her you are driving me NUTS like don't get me wrong I am 100% on her side and I totally get it but MAN it just makes me so SAD

Here's yet another aspect of this series that drives me to insanity: the fact that there is so much tenderness in the Miller brothers, despite their past!!! The way Tommy talks to the wife when she is clearly shaken up (side note I ADOOORE every last detail about your characterisation for Tommy), the fact that Joel's hobby was BOOK BINDING?! You already had me in love with your version of Joel why did you have to add him binding a book just for her??? Why are you doing this to my poor fragile brain WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME SO?? The fact that Joel is still like "pls don't cry" like obviously unreasonable considering the circumstances but still??? COME OOOON. You just wanted to make me cry and guess what you succeeded NOW WHAT??? NOW! WHAT! Am I just supposed to walk around pretending to be a normal adult when I am just CONSTANTLY thinking about this fictional marriage BE SO FOR REAL RIGHT NOW!!! Joel was literally white-knuckling his way through his awkwardness trying to offer making her dinner, he was captivated by her immediately, he can literally not stop talking to her and thinking about her, dislikes lying to her, out of everything she says when she's angry at him he fixates on "loved" bc the past tense scares him, this is literally his inner monologue "In his dreams—maybe his one and only dream—he kept you safe more than he put you in danger" then immediately realises she can never be safe while he is an assassin so he decides to quit FOR HER like??? Did he get a master's degree in simpology from the university of simptown, usa???? This violent old man is a lovergirl at heart. The fact that he still showed concern for Tommy as they are having such a tense conversation?? You really got all the characterisations so RIGHT. Last point for this section: Joel saying "You are the only choice I don’t regret." I will never recover!!!

NOW: We finally get to the beating heart of the story. ALLOW ME A MOMENT TO TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE THE CHARACTERISATION OF THE WIFE!!! First of all, she doesn't allow her anger at Joel to impact how she treats anyone else. She is so polite to Tommy and offers to paint the nursery, she thanks the doctor on his way out like?? We love a polite queen!! The fact that SHE approached HIM first at the restaurant, the way she so clearly says to Joel "I like you, talk to me whenever you like", the way she is so clear-headed about what it means for him to basically kill in her name!!! UGH SUCH A WELL-WRITTEN AND INTRIGUING CHARACTER!! The fact that there are some things she still sees clearly through her anger - like she makes the comment about "You know, hotels are where husbands take their other women" but also knows he wouldn't cheat, the way she is furious but still wants Joel to be okay, the way she is afraid she doesn't know this man but is still willing to go with him, even after finding all this out "there is no maybe" OKAY MULTIFACETED ICON!! We love grappling with the complexities of our own existence!!

Can I just say I am so sorry. This is not just long but also ramble-y and disjointed. My only excuse is sleep-deprivation and having so many things to say bc of how much I love this story!!! I could go on but I have to stop. myself at some point. Also the ending to chapter 2 is permanently etched into my brain it is so sad and so emotional and I have not been able to stop thinking about it since I read it

HELEN!ANON!!! my god, answering this ask has been such a long time coming and i apologise for the delay - i'm sure you know i've been having quite a wild few weeks!! i'll also be speaking to your other chapter 2 ask in this post, since i want to do your comments justice as best i can!! i've answered another ask from an anon that clarifies that no, neither of them will die -- i simply do not have the heart to commit such an atrocity.

firstly: you are so, so right in that both john and joel's lives are consumed by this inherent lack of peace. in JW1, we know that john and helen lived for good long years before she passed, but we only see those moments in flashbacks. everything that happens in the present happens to reaffirm the fact that nobody will let him live in peace. so in a way, joel and his wife's life needed to be immediately upended, because i'm nothing if not just as cruel as the canon!! additionally, your point about "never leave me again" is so poignant, as are your observations about the parallels between the past and present that turn a little insidious -- like yes!! he cannot follow his own rules when it comes to her!! and when it comes to re-entering the fold.. history repeats itself!! silly, silly man with terrible coping skills. (we will be returning back to this topic in a later chapter, which will be.. fun?? probably not, but fun for me!!)

also, wow, i genuinely don't think i will ever be able to thank you enough for the level of kindness you are showing this fic. i am seriously stunned by how much care you've shown this story and how deeply your analyses go. i am so, SO grateful to receive these messages and i really just don't know what i did to deserve them, but fuck they're an absolute honour to receive!!!

one of the major themes will be about exploring the possibility of rebuilding that "emotional home." both of these poor lil guys will have to confront a lot of feelings, and we'll have to see where all those feels take them!

you know what?? i'm SO glad you brought up the point about music, because i've been soooo fucking tempted to share my personal helen playlist (and yes, of COURSE arsonist's lullabye is on there and the ultimate hitman!joel song). so maybe i shall do that soon.... heehee

and you're right!! just because there are issues does not make those years of deep-rooted care and devotion and concern for one another's well-being disappear. and I KNOW IT'S BIG SADDIE HOURS OVER HERE I'M SO SORRY )': i promise i still love you

NOT THE MASTER'S DEGREE IN SIMPOLOGY IM------ okay how did you know that was my brand damn you got my ass with that lmfao. he really DID get that degree. top marks, honour roll, etc. the lovergirl will not stop!!

finally, it truly makes me so, so happy to know that you love his wife's character!!! she's a conflicted lovergirl too, just in a different way, and it's my goal to make this story as much about her journey as it is about joel's. so, wow, thank you for such kind and thoughtful words about my baby girl, i love her dearly and i'm so happy you do too EEK

PSA: to anyone who's been enjoying helen so far, helen!anon is the best place to go for some seriously stunning literary analysis because DAMN honey you blow me away every time. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU a million times for being here. i love you and appreciate you so much. xoxoxo

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hey:)

Thank you so much for answering my ask! Heh the detail you went into seriously made me smile and everything.

I honestly believe this fandom created a world for Sherlock more real than MF's piss poor attempt in S4 lol

but at a certain point i think all they cared about is BIGGER IS BETTER... MORE and SHOCK as much as you can without realizing that the REAL fans actually hyperfixate on the little details... that we would literally cry if we ever saw Sherlock and John dancing together or buying milk.

God i would honestly seriously enjoy a 1.5 hour episode of them staring at each other across the room... literally it would make me squeal

BUT the thing is if ever in the tiny off-chance possibility that they DO make a S5 i think they'll do it with Molly and that makes me very angry... you know considering how they spent so long trying to deny homosexuality (UGHH) and the fact that they set up possibility for a Sherlolly throughout but i think him with Molly is just... bad.... not good... VERY BAD

and this whole thing makes me wanna live in a different universe GOSH

... alsoo DO you think there's gonna be a S5? like after all this time

Honestly i wouldnt even mind if its a spin off series about Rosie but parentlock better happen

(Heh also i do believe ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE HIMSELF wanted them to be a thing so like 200 years later WHY WHY ARENT they explicitly a THING?!)

Okay i promise ill stop spamming you... but i think somehow this show has a lot to do with who i am gosh... might have something to do with friends you deeply love and they scream NOT GAY at you.. hmm

Also i dont know if youve read her work but (Apliddell) (https://archiveofourown.org/users/apliddell/pseuds/apliddell) Has to be one of my personal fav writers heh heres me Fic reccing a fic rec grandmaster but if your really havent read it you should totally! Especially this series (https://archiveofourown.org/series/739065)

Okay Have a nice day!

LOTS OF LOVE TO YOU, TAKE CARE YOU AMAZING PERSON

(PS: I'd sent this stuff as a message but i dont think it went through? i dunno... im just spilling some of my angst gosh im sorry for spamming sm..)

Hey Lovely!!

OMG sorry for missing both this AND my message... Tumblr has been marking my messages as "Read" on its own and often I don't find out until I'm brave enough to click on the huge number on my bubble...this is an easier way to get a hold of me because for SOME REASON the anxiety I get when I see the number on my messages is a huge one skyrockets. Dunno why lol.

ANYWAY, Yeah, I love this fandom so much, and I adore all the content that comes out of it!!

And thank you for sharing your fave author! Everyone go give them some love on their fics!! <3

Thank you so much for this lovely read and your well-wishes <3

[whatisthismandoinghere]

Finally got around to making a list for that Hogan’s Heroes/Taylor Swift prompt list I mentioned a while back, so welcome to Cruel Summer at Stalag 13!! (cannot for the life of me decide if I love or hate the event name, it’s real hard to make a combo of Hogan’s Heroes and Taylor Swift 😂) Lemme know what you think, I was considering coming up with some alternate prompts in case there were some that weren’t catching your eye, but it was hard enough to come up with the 31, so if there is a Taylor Swift song or some Taylor Swift lyrics that you would have liked to see, drop me a line and I’ll add them on! I’m gonna go ahead and set it up for the month of July so everyone can have plenty of time to get a start on their creations (or if you’re like me you can just wait till the last second 😂) I may or may not make a collection on ao3 but I'll keep yall posted on that

For starters I’m gonna go over some rules (though I don’t really like to call them that cuz there aren’t really any rules) but anywho

If you’re writing, these do not have to be song fics, these are just meant to be prompts to inspire whatever story, art, etc. you may have inside of you, no use of lyrics or any mention of music required, it doesn’t even really need to be related to the song as a whole in anyway, so no knowledge of Taylor Swift is required

All types of media are welcome!! This includes, but is not limited to, writing, artwork, gifsets, video edits. Whatever you can come up with, you are more than welcome to share!

Interpretation is completely up to you!! Whatever idea comes to your mind, just roll with it, there is no wrong way to do it

You can complete as many or as few prompts as you wish

If you choose to post your work, please tag it with #cruel summer at stalag 13

Please wait until the day of the prompt to post, and late submissions are always welcome!

And most importantly, have fun :D 

If you have any questions at all, please do not hesitate to reach out to me, I promise I don’t bite lol

Without further ado, prompts are below the cut! If the prompt is a lyric, I put the title of the song they’re from after it in parentheses. There’s also a picture after the text (and quick shout out to @annieslytherpuff21​ for some of these suggestions!)

A Place in This World

It’s a typical Tuesday night (You Belong With Me)

Dear John

I remember it all too well (All Too Well)

Hung my head as I lost the war / And the sky turned black like a perfect storm (Clean)

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

Death by a Thousand Cuts

Back when I was livin’ for the hope of it all (August)

Crescent moon, coast is clear (Ivy)

Sometimes I wonder which one’ll be your last lie (Vigilante Shit)

You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray (Cold as You) 

I close my eyes and the flashback starts (Love Story)

Innocent

Now I’m lying on the cold hard ground (I Knew You Were Trouble)

Out of the Woods

New Year’s Day

It’s Nice to Have a Friend

Peace

Past the blood and bruise / Past the curses and cries (Happiness)

I should not be left to my own devices (Anti-Hero)

I’ve been a lot of lonely places / I’ve never been on the outside (The Outside) 

It’s hard to fight when the fight ain’t fair (Change)

Do you still feel like you know what you’re doing / Cause I don’t think you do (Better Than Revenge)

Starlight

It’s poker, he can’t see it in my face / But I’m about to play my ace (New Romantics) 

Don’t Blame Me 

Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes (Cruel Summer)

Epiphany

Tolerate It

Mastermind

All that bloodshed, crimson clover (The Great War)

[javelinbk]

Hi! I want to say I love your flower modern AU! It’s so cute. Questions: do you think you’ll write more AU? Do you have others you like by other authors? Why do you think there are not more McLennon AU?

Sorry for so many, you don’t have to answer them if you don’t want to. Really just want to say how nice you’re fic is 💗

Aww, thank you anon! I love those flower shop boys too!

I don’t have any plans for another complete AU, but I’m currently writing my Marchathon fic which is what I’d call an ‘except that…’ AU. It’s a standard early days fic except that John and Paul are step-brothers…

In terms of why people don’t like AUs… I’m not sure really, but I do know that it took me a while to get into them - I originally turned to fic to ‘fix’ real-life events (or, our crazy fandom version of real events). But I now love AUs, and as long as the characterisation is right, I love seeing these boys in different scenarios. They also are often much more light-hearted because they don’t have to deal with the trauma of reality!

There’s far too many good ones for me to list (and unfortunately a lot of the ones I like are unfinished), but here are some of my favourites…

tomorrow, I’ll miss you by @pauls1967moustache - an amazing Beyond Sunset AU… what if John had stayed in Hamburg?

i wish that i had met you when your heart was safe to hold by goingmywaydoll - High Fidelity AU where Paul is one of John’s exes

We Are Stardust by @unchaineddaisychain - John and Paul are two strangers who meet at Woodstock

like a river flows, surely to the sea by @toppermostofthepoppermost - very cute and fluffy AU where John is a student/baker and Paul is a single dad

There’s a few more in an older fic rec post of mine too.

Thanks for the ask! Hope you find something new to enjoy!

[late-to-the-magnus-archives]

Iteration - a Malevolent fic, chapter four

John has been poisoned. Who did it? Unknown. How can he be saved? If not for Arthur, he wouldn't.

The ripples from this event hit far distant shores, and no one will come out of it unchanged.

Part 100 of the Surrogate series.

AO3 - chapter four

-------------

The antidote worked, and John was finally out of danger. He still wasn’t awake, but he was no longer dying, and Hastur reworked his opinion of Dagon, who had, as it turned out, a far more keen mind than he’d realized.

Hastur’s plan (newly hatched) moved to the next step: taking Arthur home and admitting to the world his own had been poisoned.

No one needed to know it had taken more than a week to stabilize John—a week of pacing, stressing, Arthur crying. As far as the world knew, this all happened in one night—and they would be holding their breath to see what Hastur did next.

What he would do next was address the only new additions to his court, even though it was obvious none of them had anything to do with what happened. Still; it had to be done.

Hastur sent out his Dancers.

#

Parker woke feeling pretty damn good.

A lot of his fears were assuaged. Not all of them, but his gut was always right, and he knew the Arthur he’d seen last night was the real deal.

The guy was messed up. Maybe more messed up than when he’d needed rescue in Jack’s Bar years ago—but he was still in there, and the fact that he and Sunny had marginally gotten along made Parker feel like the moon was made of gold.

John… he didn’t know about John. Couldn’t get a finger on him. Sunny, he knew; Hastur, he was beginning to know. John was so different from them both (and yet not at all?) that he couldn’t yet figure him out.

Good morning, partner, said Sunny, also sounding pretty okay.

Parker stretched and started his basic morning routine—pushups, some jumping jacks, just stuff. “Morning, Sunshine. I can still taste those brownies.”

They were good. The way Sunny said that meant a lot more than just the brownies. Maybe…

Parker let him work it out, doing some pull-ups on his favorite sconce. He liked this one; positioned across from the balcony, it let him look over the lake every time he got his chin to the bar.

Maybe we… can do that again, Sunny suggested.

“I appreciate it, bud. I know it’s a challenge. I really appreciate you going to lengths like that for me.”

Very, very quietly, Sunny said, It’s… it’s for me, too. I’ve… I’ve decided.

“Decided?” Parker dropped lightly to the floor.

Yes. I’ve decided I want… Sunny took a deep breath. I don’t want to be afraid anymore.

“Oh, buddy,” whispered Parker, stroking his jaw gently.

Last night was… It was nice, and when I wasn’t thinking about how afraid I was of that man… It’s not just that it made you happy, Parker, but I was happy alongside you. And so I want to fix this… weakness of mine. Conquer it. I’ve decided I’m going to address it the way you do.

Parker blinked. “The way I do?”

You just face things, Pahkah, said Sunny like Parker’s name was a prayer. You… you run when it’s smart, but you don’t let anybody hold your head underwater.

“Sounds like you been watching closely,” said Parker softly.

I have. I… I would rather watch you than anyone in the world, Sunny said.

Parker just lightly touched his lips—calloused fingers, not at all soft hands, but his touch was a whisper, a wish, a yearning unspoken, because what he wanted to do was kiss this idiot Sunny silly, but this was as close as they would ever—

The door opened and three Dancers slid in, moving quickly, and Parker immediately knew something was up.

They were sharper than usual. He couldn’t exactly pinpoint how, but these Dancers were not in a safe mood. They were ready to do harm.

He stiffened.

Come with us, said the first.

You are summoned by the King, said the second.

Please do not delay, said the third.

Sunny froze; Parker could feel it.

Parker licked his lips. Nobody was grabbing. They hadn’t come armed (assuming they needed to be). “Okay,” he said. “Can I get dressed first?”

Hurry, said the first.

Parker’s gut said this wasn’t actually about them. “Sure thing,” he said, and pulled on yesterday’s clothes.

#

The palace was not calm.

Dignitaries were non-existent. Doors were closed. Dancers were fucking everywhere, just everywhere, and every room they passed held whispers.

What’s happening? Sunny murmured.

“Haven’t figured it out yet,” Parker murmured back, and was surprised to find himself led into the heart of the palace.

Arthur’s music room, in contrast to the rest, was wide-open, and Dancers were swarming it as if searching for something.

Parker’s heart fell into his stomach. “Oh, fuck me, what the fuck?”

Parker? Sunny said, afraid.

“Shh. Hold on. We’re gonna weather this, whatever it is,” said Parker, and turned the corner, and ran smack into the group of Dancers herding Larson in the same direction.

Parker froze.

Larson froze.

Sunny, very quietly, so quietly it probably couldn’t be heard outside Parker’s head, dared a growl.

“Well,” Larson drawled, eyeing them up and down as if they were covered in garbage. “Didn’t expect to see you this mornin’, Saint.”

“Can’t say I’m thrilled, either, asshole,” said Parker.

The half-dozen Dancers did not wait. Hurry, hurry, hurry, they all whispered, one after another.

Parker sighed. “Right. Let’s go.”

“Gotta say, I’m disappointed,” Larson drawled, keeping two Dancers’ distance between them as he sauntered at speed. “Thought this was somethin’ good, but if you’re summoned, too, it can’t be.”

“You thought this was a good summons?” said Parker with such shade that Larson’s jaw tightened.

Learn to read the room, Sunny barely murmured.

Parker chortled.

“What?” Larson snapped.

“Nothing.” Because Larson didn’t deserve to hear it.

#

Hastur was in the throne room. The walls were lined with Dancers, unnervingly still, extremities sharpened.

Hastur was not on his throne. He stood before it, and he was…

Resplendent was absolutely the wrong word. Oh, he glowed, brighter even than the morning sunlight, but this wasn’t beauty. This was rage.

Fear—unavoidable, instinctive—sped Parker’s heart. He stopped.

Larson did not stop, but swept forward with a bow. “Oh, Great One! I am here as requested, at your service, ready to give anything you ask of me down to my own flesh and soul!”

“Did you know?” said Hastur.

So that was the bad kind of question. That was the shit hit the fan and did you throw it kind of question, and Parker inhaled carefully.

Larson frowned. “Know what, great one?”

Silence. A very bad silence.

“Arthur,” said Hastur.

Parker’s eyes went wide. “What about him?”

“Did you know?” repeated Hastur, so evenly, so calmly, like Arthur Lester hadn’t banged into their lives and left him-shaped dents in all of them.

“What happened to Arthur?” said Parker, sharp. “Is he okay?”

“Watch your tone!” Larson hissed at him.

“Fuck off. Where’s Arthur?” Parker snarled.

“Arthur nearly died last night,” said Hastur, calmly, so calmly, so absolutely damningly. “It seems his dinner was poisoned.”

Parker’s mouth hung open.

Sunny made one low, choked sound.

Larson looked… well, it was hard to put a name to that expression, because it wasn’t precisely the sorrowful look one might expect. It was surprised; but then in spite of his obvious attempts, eagerness leaked through, a weird and gleaming hope, a need to know more. “What happened?”

Too still, Parker realized; Hastur was too still, and that was why he was so frightening. “That,” said Hastur, “is what I intend to learn. Fortunately for you, I believe you innocent. Return to your room. Do not leave until I tell you you may.”

“Yes, my lord!” said Larson eagerly.

“Wait a fucking second!” said Parker.

Not now, whispered Sunny.

The Dancers were already moving in, before Parker could protest further, and swept everyone back where they came from like some golden, pointed tide.

#

Day one passed in a tense, miserable blur, too fast and too slow, all at once. By day two, Parker was ready to climb the walls.

Food came. They were not neglected—but the door was locked, and Parker had already kicked it twice to no effect, just because.

Clearly, the guilty party had not been caught.

Parker was going crazy. That’s what this was. He was going crazy. He paced. He mussed his hair. He did jumping jacks until he was breathless (and it took what felt like hours to get there).

And he paced, and paced, and paced.

Sunny had been quiet. Sunny had asked Parker if he was okay, and commented on food, and… that was it. Until the second morning. Parker?

“Hm?” Parker was shaking out his hands; he’d been punching the mattress.

Is… is this my fault?

“What?” Parker was startled enough to step back from the bed. “How in hell would it be your fault?”

Maybe I should have—I should have been able to sense something, Sunny moaned, low and fearful. I didn’t pay full attention to what he was adding, maybe—

“Hey,” Parker soothed, pressing his hand to their cheek. “I know for a fact it wasn’t us. I saw everything we added, too, and we ate the damn things, as well. Besides, he said it was dinner.”  A dinner (a lovely stuffed salmon with a barley pilaf and roasted vegetables) they hadn’t attended (like usual) and instead enjoyed in their rooms after their evening run.

But… why would…

“Fucking assholes,” said Parker, as if that explained it all, and continued pacing.

Not for the first time Sunny found himself resenting John for having one of Arthur’s hands. The energy in their bedroom was suffocating, waiting for answers that seemed keen not to arrive, and Sunny wished he could pace alongside Parker, to hold him, to find some way to fix this.

If they’d just let you at it, Sunny growled, pure frustration, we’d have found the fucker by now.

Parker slowed to a stop in front of the balcony. “Fuck. Fuck. Yeah! You think the King’ll come if I yell for him?”

Sunny did not know exactly how Hastur would react, but he could make a damn good prediction. I think… I think it can’t hurt to try.

And suddenly Sunny let out a noise, a sharp wordless keen that seemed to echo in Parker’s brain, but somehow Parker could tell it wasn’t a bad noise—it was asking, questioning, yearning made manifest. “Uh… You good?” Parker asked.

Just calling for him, Sunny said. He’s coming. Do you feel it?

He sure as fuck did.

Hastur appeared in the room like a light turning on, a billowing so fast and powerful that Parker had to take a step back, even though Hastur wasn’t doing anything in particular.

The movement was there now. Hastur was no longer stock-still, but agitated, undulating the fine tips of his thinner tentacles like whips as he hovered, not even bothering to touch the ground. “Well,” he said, and his voice rumbled in the floor. “You are considerably less beset than I expected.”

I tried to use the one that didn’t scream ‘I’m in danger, please help me,’ Sunny sighed. I must have forgotten.

“I heard you.” Oh, the way he said those three words… they were powerful, as if touching on some contract he and Sunny had that Parker couldn’t read. “Speak.”

Parker is the best private investigator in all of Massachusetts, and possibly Earth, Sunny said gravely. And his talents are no good to you spent cooped up in a room. We wish to assist in the hunt for the attempted assassin.

Hastur paused. Parker got the impression this was a new idea. “That’s right,” Hastur said as if to himself. “Arthur learned his deductive skills… from you.”

“Damn straight,” Parker said, privately pleased to know Arthur had detected something. “Sunny and I are good at laying low. Let us go around, talk to people. Find you some additional leads, at least. With more of us working together, we can sniff out the bastard.”

It was a precipitous silence. Unbalanced, displeasing, tense. “Do you choose to put yourselves at risk for Arthur’s sake so easily?”

Parker frowned. “You think we wouldn’t?”

The tentacles twisted. “Clearly, my protections were not adequate,” (Oh, shit, he’s not just upset, he’s ASHAMED, Parker thought). “I cannot guarantee your safety. Do you still choose to take that risk?”

“Sunny?” said Parker, evenly. “If you say no, it’s no. Don’t even think about it.” But he knew Sunny could feel just how tight his throat had gotten.

I don’t believe anyone knows our involvement, Sunny said quietly. We will only take what risks we deem necessary, Great One. I will keep Parker safe to the best of my ability.

Parker let out a very soft, relieved breath.

Hastur sighed. “Very well. Remain within my domain. Call me at once if in danger. Do not risk yourselves. Alert me to anything you find. Agreed?” He floated closer.

Yes, Great One.

Instinctually, Parker stuck his hand out to shake.

Hastur paused. Then one of his human-like hands—absurdly large—slid out from his tentacles and enveloped Parker’s hand.

It wasn’t slimy. Go figure.

“Best of luck,” said Hastur, and disappeared the way he’d come.

(Parker would not think about that skin texture and Sunny. Not now.)

“Right. Where you wanna start?”

Sunny was quiet for a moment, mulling. Like the cases we did on the road, he said. At the beginning. Assuming the cooks haven’t all been executed, they likely would have the best chance at seeing the culprit. A pause. Unless… you’d like to try and talk to Arthur, if he’s able. Even if he isn’t helpful as a witness, it may… you can make sure he’s alright. Sunny’s voice was low, gentle.

“Yeah. I mean, he’s the one who got sick. Maybe he knows something, even if he doesn’t know he knows it.” And he had to say it: “Did I hear the King right? In his domain?”

You did. Sunny’s pause was… not nervous, but certainly telling. We are to remain in his domain.

And Parker did something Sunny had never heard him do before. From anyone else, it might have been an evil laugh. “Sunny… we just got permission to leave the damn palace.”

I don’t quite think that’s the spirit of what he said, Sunny said… But his voice dropped, conspiratorial. But Hastur is very busy. I’d hate to bother him for a correction. And we’re going to be very safe, and… Just for the case. Right?

“Yeah. Or at least… until we’re told not to. Come on. Let’s be smart. We’re gonna start at ground zero—in the kitchen.”

#

The cooks were scared.

And… the cooks were angry.

They were muttering like a distant storm when Parker made his way to the kitchen, gathered in a knot, surrounded by Dancers. The kitchen was wrecked. Every cabinet open, every box dumped out, and judging by the frustration in everyone’s faces, absolutely nothing had been found.

But oh, they lit up when they saw Parker.

“Parker! Sunny!” said the one whose name Parker simply could not pronounce, and the whole flock of them zeroed in like hungry geese.

“We did not do this,” said one. “You must tell his majesty.”

“I believe you,” Parker said, voice warm.

We’re glad that all of you are alright, said Sunny, which nearly renewed all of the cooks fussing over him. Do you happen to know what part of the dish was poisoned, specifically?

“No,” one growled, the word distorted by the curl of their lip over sharp teeth. “No. Plates were cleared and washed hours before. In the kitchens, there remains no trace of the poison.”

“We did not do this,” repeated one of the others.

You’d never sully your work like this, Sunny soothed. We know.

“Anyone new come into the kitchen yesterday?” Parker said, putting his hands in his pockets as he surveyed the wrecked kitchen. “Deliveries, cleaning?”

“A delivery of meats was made zat morning,” said the head chef. “zey were inspected for tampering before zeir addition to the larder.”

“What kinds?”

“Cuts of meats, red and white and violet. Fish, fresh caught from Lake Hali.”

Anything in their stomachs?

“No. We gut zem here, to ensure zeir purity.” The head cook crossed their arms.

“Shit,” said Parker, low. It was turning into a locked room case, and that meant…

“Ze challenge,” said the head cook, low, “iz zat all of us have been here. Zere are no new people. No new servants, no new cooks. We… however zis goes… it will be a betrayal of us all.”

The grief seemed shared by everyone; Parker had the awful feeling that even the guilty party felt it, because they were a sort of family here, had worked closely for many years, and no matter how this shook out, the consequences would hurt.

Parker sighed. Evenly, he said, “There’s reasons for doing things. I get that. I been on the other side of the law more than once, but… whoever did this did it to someone who didn’t deserve it. You get that? So it won’t matter why they did this. They’re gonna have to face justice.”

It was curious, how that speech affected them. With groups of humans (to whom he’d had to deliver this more than once), the reactions were always emotional—sometimes violent, angry, offended, terrified.

This was resigned. They already knew. All of them.

Parker sighed. “If it’s a good why, I’ll at least make sure the reason’s known. All right?”

“Zis is not your battle,” said the head chef.

“Yeah, it is,” said Parker. “Arthur’s my friend.”

It seemed none of them had picked up on that. Which only made sense; Parker had not spent time with Arthur beyond brief moments of chat on balconies and one evening of baking. Well; now, they knew.

“Good luck,” said Parker, and headed off to check out whoever handled deliveries. He’d be coming back here, but not while they were all prepared, staring at him.

#

Are we done with the cooks? said Sunny.

“No, but see, there’s gotta be a technique here,” said Parker, taking his time, watching and listening to the busyness in the docking area “They already know me. Me suddenly smashin’ things and threatening would be hard to take serious, and if they did take it that way, we’d ruin our relationship with them going forward. Never mind that I probably couldn’t do a damn thing to any of ‘em, anyway. Human.”

I think you’d do damage, said Sunny with a vicious sweetness.

Parker smirked. “Thanks, bud. Well. In this case, we gotta do a workaround. Come at it from the side.” There were so many Dancers swarming the place that he couldn’t learn much. With a sigh, he headed back inside. “Back on Earth, people at least got that I could hurt ‘em; here, they don’t have that fear of me. It’s okay. We get to do some old-fashioned research. My favorite kind.”

Should… Sunny had noticed where they were walking. We’re going to see Arthur now, maybe?

“Yeah, if you’re okay with that.”

Yes. I’m ready.

Arthur wasn’t in his own room, but in the medical wing. Parker stopped outside the door where Arthur was—a gimmie guess, since it was the one being guarded. We have permission to see him, Sunny said to the Dancers.

They must have known. They stepped aside.

Parker swallowed once—their throat tight—and knocked.

(chapter five)

[morethanonepage]

1 3 5 8 15?

What's something you've written that you know is OOC and you just don't care?

lmfaoooooo i'm torn between priding myself that NOTHING I EVER WRITE EVER IS OOC and being like, everything i ever write is ooc bc deep down i want even the messiest/most awful characters to have nice fluffy moments together and i know realistically that would not happen BUT THAT'S WHAT I WANT and so i continue to write it.

i think sometimes i *have* written stuff more for the joke of the thing (the one where chas shaves his beard, the javert-adopts-cossette-instead fic) that are MORE ooc bc again, i wrote them for the humor of the situation, but i like to think they're at least within a RANGE of characterization.

(also i mean any time you write non canon esp slash ships they're like, ooc bc the canon creators would NEVER take it there but i ESPECIALLY don't care about that).

3. Something you wish a commenter had called attention to, but got ignored.

oooh i don't know really, there's usually at least one line that i'm really proud of myself for writing in terms of character voice and/or rhythm and/or just like, quiet aching melancholy of the thing and they're rarely mentioned by commenters but like, that's ok mostly. like i think most people who enjoy my fics do so more bc of like, the whole of work & the characterizations over like really beautiful lines or whatever, esp since i see my style as very simple and efficient over it being especially flowery or explicitly emotional.

i do always kind of laugh when i get 'omg so many great lines here i'm not even going to try to quote them all' bc i'm like. well but also you could tho. at least one maybe. to soothe my fragile ego etc.

5. Something you hate to see in smut.

A/B/O.

I mean. Also what I hate in smut is what i hate in writing in general -- epithet abuse and OOC behavior. I'm also kind of weirded out by like. Explicit dick measurements (i.e., where inches/centimeters are specified) unless it's for the lulz (and even then i think it kills the ~sexy mood, which might be the intent so I don't mind in that case). Also really roll my eyes when it's a scene between two men and one or both devotes time to ~I don't have to worry about being rough with HIM, not like if he was a WOMAN. like ok bro sorry it's such a CHORE to treat a woman you're fucking with a modicum of care. (I know in a lot of cases this IS arguably in character. but i do genuinely just find it annoying to read). but like. some women like it rough. some men don't. let's broaden our horizons here.

8. Something you love to see in dialogue.

Inside jokes, esp if they're not explained. (like amongst the MCU's INFINITE crimes, the explicit clarification of 'what happened in budapest' is UP THERE)

And just like. Conversations that fit the canon/characters. Like I hate it when characters in fic sound like tiktok teens/tumblr millennials but i love it when they sound like THEMSELVES and aren't just talking about stuff that moves the plot forward. sometimes people just have conversations with their friends. it's part of worldbuilding/setting the mood. And it's ABOUT the conversation-- I hate big blocks of text where it's just one character dumping exposition, I like it when there's interruptions and responses and eyerolls and huffs of laughter etc etc etc.

y'know. the sicko to sicko communication of it all.

15. We all project onto our characters. Where has your personality or life choices leaked onto the page the most?

lolllll well my thirst for nbc!chas chandler is the basis for like, 75% of my johnchas fic (the 25% which is written from chas' POV is about my self esteem issues). also a lot of john being a jerk/saying the wrong things is like, catharsis for me bc i'm generally pretty careful about not upsetting people (shut up it's true in my real life) and i think on some level john enjoys being the worst and it's fun for me to imagine/write what that would be.

also a lot of my AUs have characters be lawyers. like it's pretty heavily implied in a last minute possibility that Poe is a public defender, mostly bc the idea delighted me. In my finnpoe big bang fic that has not seen the light of day, Poe is a political operative with most of my opinions, and Finn is a lawyer from New York who leaves his job to go work in a small up state new york town, which is what i randomly fantasized about doing after going to a wedding in the Hudson Valley. (i know the Hudson Valley isn't REALLY upstate new york. but to me it is.)

Oh god also the so-called travelogue fic (which is a gen fic where Poe spends time with his dad on Yavin IV before the events of TFA but after he joined the Resistance) is mostly just about my memories of visiting Mexico. Like embarrassingly so but I'm still proud of it.

[icebluecyanide]

And a second one for the road, this time the questions for fic writers: 4. What detail in any of your fics are you really proud of? and/or 5. What do you wish someone would ask you about any of your fics? Answer it now!

Haha thanks for all the asks! I really appreciate it! :D

4. What detail in any of your fics are you really proud of?

I liked the method of assassination I came up with for Yassen's job in The Weekend of Our Dreams! I wanted it to seem accidental and having a pen covered in something that will kill once it gets ingested/in the mouth when the guy chews the back of his pen seemed like a nice touch.

On an emotional/character level, I liked this part in even if it hurts (my touch-starved!yassen fic):

He likes it when Hunter touches him. It’s like a breath of air after being choked, like a drink of water in a desert. It fills Yassen with a warmth he hasn’t felt since Estrov.

Because 'a breath of air after being choked' an oddly specific (not to mention violent) thing to compare it to. I wanted to keep it vague in this fic if it follows RR or SH backstory for Yassen, so I suppose it could be a metaphorical smothering if we take the RR story, but I also like the idea that Yassen means this quite literally and it's something he has experience with. And I do have a fic lying around somewhere where John teaches him about choking by demonstrating on him, which definitely makes this whole thing very messy.

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about any of your fics? Answer it now!

The question is 'what is something you know as an author but didn't put in the story?' and the answer is that I really doubt Yassen and Alex have a safe word in A Different Kind of Surfing and A Quiet Mind (the d/s Devil!AU fics) ahsdlfhsds

Like, Yassen does check in with Alex and read him and he knows Alex's limits rather well, but the power imbalance is still very real and the consent gets dubious if you scrape away the surface layer. Perhaps they did discuss it and Alex does have a safe word! I didn't mention it explicitly one way or another. But I have my doubts. 😅

[yellowlaboratory]

Oh my god. Kies first day at the kook academy was chapter 6?!!?!! If you’d told me it was like chapter 10-like 13 I would have believed u how has it been so long since then omg!! NOT that I’m complaining I will read as much of this fic as u will give me but like wow it’s long I didn’t even realise it was that early on that things started to go downhill!! Honestly when I think about the early chapters of this fic I always remember them being lil babies and having only read it once (that will be changing don’t worry), I thought them being babies lasted longer than it clearly did. Some specific memories I have of the early chapters: the flag pole race to tannyhill, and jj and kie making fun of John bs fan club on the dock at the chateau! Thinking of those moments in the fic is literally like they are my own vague childhood memories that’s so strange

my friend, I know. chapter 6 feels like a decade ago! when I went to check I was certain it was 9, and then I had to keep clicking the previous chapter button and i was like “oh no”

And I also thought I spent more time on the young Pogues than I did, lol. I never really re-read pltc myself because I’ll immediately spiral into a panic-induced editing fit, but when I have to look back for continuity or for references I always feel like the Young Pogue Chapters lasted a lot longer. the lil baby pogues were so much lol

And oh my lord, you are bringing up scenes even I forgot. The race at Tanneyhill! John B’s Fan Club! The Pogue Lyfe T-Shirt Company, for all of John B’s Rejects. God, it really does feel like a while ago. I know what you mean when you say they feel like your own vague memories - every time someone mentions something in the first couple of chapters, I’m like “oh yeah I remember that” and it’s all nostalgic and stuff. the fact that you also feel that way literally blows my mind. the fact that you pay enough attention to it enough to remember it is insane. 

thank you so much, anon, this ask made my day 🥰 I’ll be panicking about the nostalgia of pltc and the fact that it’s ending if anyone wants to join me.

[natashxromanovf]

Secrets

JJ Maybank x fem!reader

WORD COUNT: 933

WARNINGS: a small make-out session (if you can even call it that), swearing, quite some dialogue

REQUESTED: /, secret dating AU, fluff

SUMMARY: JJ misses you and shows up at your door, leading to a small make-out session before you’re interrupted by John B, who later reveals his knowledge of an information that the two of you thought you hid well.

A/N: Yes, I’m in a mood to write for JJ and you all have to deal with it. Sorry, not sorry. This fic is also written for @pogueslandia's writing challenge, thank you for letting me participate! I had a lot of fun writing this <3

CREDITS: gif credits to @supremestarkey

A knock disturbs your reading, setting the book aside and getting up to open the door. A figure of none other than JJ Maybank appears in front of you, the usual smirk playing on his lips.

“What are you doing here?” you ask, a smile adorning your face. It’s a nice surprise seeing him here.

“What, can’t I just come to say hi to my girlfriend?” he whispers into your ear, not wanting for anyone to hear. Truth be told, no one knows JJ and you are dating. The pogues are very strict on the no pogue on pogue mackin’ rule and they would kill you if they found out. But in the end, who can help with who they fall in love with, right?

“I don’t know, can you?” you question in a joking matter, pulling him into the room by grabbing his shirt. He crashes his lips onto yours, guiding them into a passionate kiss. Pushing you back onto the bed, he lands on top of you, never breaking the kiss while doing so.

“God did I miss this,” JJ says as he pulls away, the urge to breathe becoming too much to handle.

“So did I,” you state as you start playing with his hair, a wide grin appearing on your face when his lips travel down your neck, pressing sloppy kisses there before he stops and sucks at the spot he knows you like, surely leaving a mark. “J you know the rules, no marks, or everyone will know something’s up and they won’t stop asking until I tell them,”

“Right, sorry,” he apologizes, his eyes telling you he’s not sorry at all. Of course, he’s not, that’s JJ we’re talking about.

“Sure you a-” you’re cut off by a knock at your door, just like the one you received minutes ago. Panic settles itself into your chest, quickly pushing JJ off and telling him to hide under the bed, trying to cover up the hickey with your hair but failing miserably.

“Hey, Y/N, it’s John B, can I come in?”

“Yeah,” you say, running your hands through your hair to smooth it out, trying to leave no sign of the actions you were previously doing.

“I just came to tell you that Sarah wants to go shopping with you,” he mutters, scratching the back of his neck.

“Yes, tell her I’ll come. And that she should call Kie too,” you reply, the nervousness evident to anyone but John B because he’s one of the most oblivious people you’ve ever met.

“Okay,” he states as he turns around, stopping by the door and turning around again, clearly wanting to tell you something. “Oh and Y/N? Tell JJ I said hi,”

The look on your face is so comedic John B almost wishes he could take a picture and frame it. “How did you-”

“You’re not as smooth at hiding as you think you are, y’know,” he smirks, leaving for real this time.

Okay, so maybe he’s not as oblivious as you thought. I mean, how the hell did he even notice? Well, if you really think about it, there’s a lot of signs - the longing looks, the subtle touches here and there, he could notice all of those things, and whoever has a brain would connect the dots. So honestly, he was right, you were not smooth at all.

Laughter coming from under the bed brings you back to Earth, realizing there’s another not really mature person in the room too who would, obviously, find it funny. Your facial expression quickly shifts to annoyance, jokingly punching JJ’s arm the second he stands up, somehow still laughing.

“How the hell can you laugh in a situation like this?!” you whisper-yell, starting to pace around the room. “This is terrible, this is so fucking terrible,” you paranoically say, putting your hands into your hair, trying to think of what to do next.

“Just relax a bit, it’s gonna be okay,” JJ states, stopping you by putting his arms on your shoulders. “You saw how chill John B was about it,”

“Yeah, that’s easy for you to say,” you scoff yet not moving away from him.

“Look, I can guarantee you that if we go out of here right now, everyone will simply cheer and clap, you know, the usual shit they do when they find out about a couple,” he comforts, a warm smile on his face.

You wildly shake your head, letting him know what you think about it. “We are absolutely not walking out of here. We can just live here, forever and sneak out through the window when we need food or water,” you suggest, being as serious as ever.

“Oh don’t be ridiculous now,” he sighs, deciding on an easier technique to get you out. Picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder he heads out, directly for the living room.

“Put me down JJ!” you scream, kicking and punching him while shouting curse words.

Nothing helps though, his grip is way too strong and soon enough, it’s already too late. Just as you expected everyone is in the living room except for Sarah. And their reaction is the same as JJ described. Huh, he was right; there was nothing to be afraid of.

Their reactions only warmed up your heart - the joy on Kiara’s face, the confusing “when did this happen” yet happy look on Pope’s face, a satisfied “I knew from the beginning” look on John B’s face. Everything is perfect and for the first time, you and JJ can be free.

General taglist: @maybanksslut @sprucewoodlover @potterheadphanatic-blog @sabstfu @emmywinningengineer

OBX taglist: @gruxii @ilyjohnb @taylathornton

JJ Maybank: @bastard-of-thebarrel

Feedback is very much appreciated <3

If you wanna join my taglist, here's the link to the form :)

[raibebe]

Love Is On Air

Genre: fluff & smut Words: 8.722 Prompt: radio host Johnny x secret admirer female reader Warnings: soft dom Johnny, oral (f receiving), safe sex, dirty talk

A/N: Finally: My entry for the February event of my lovely network @neosmutcollective​. This is totally not the fic I planned on writing. In fact this was started way later after I realized I was never going to finish my original fic on time. Not that this one is on time... Special thanks to everyone who sent our lovely DJs some music recommendations @sly-merlin​, @moonctzeny​, @lenaluvs​, @lucas-wongs​, @burtonized​ and to @ncteaxhoe​ who helped me figure out this idea. I hope you enjoy this even though it’s wayyy too late.

You hurried home to your apartment after your last class of the day that was horrifically late because of whoever had fucked up your schedule this semester. Panting heavily, you busted into your room and threw your jacket and backpack somewhere onto your couch, diving straight for your laptop that was perched on your desk. Cursing the old thing, you waited for agonizing minutes until it had booted up and your browser was open. You quickly opened the familiar page of your university’s campus radio just in time to hear the familiar voice saying: “Hi I’m John-D, welcome to NCT Night Night.” After that both hosts chuckled lowly before Jaehyun spoke: “Tonight we’ll read some of the letters you wrote us over the week again and we will try our best to help you out with whatever problems you throw our way.” “Exactly. Right after we play this song that was suggested by evangelie_99 over on our Twitter, it’s Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County and she said that she loves our show. We’re glad you like it so much, darling. This one is for you,” Johnny softly said before the soft tunes of the song filled your little one-room apartment.

Sighing, you leaned back in your chair, carelessly toeing your shoes off. Listening to NCT Night Night was your escape at night from the stress that classes brought you. The two DJs that were on air every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday were your favorites though. Not only did they have great chemistry but they both could be incredibly funny as well as soothe all your nerves with their calming voices – especially Johnny or John-D as he was called on their show. You might have developed a slightly embarrassing crush on the fratboy with a heart as sweet as his voice from what you knew about him from his radio shows and your shared classes. Since they had started their weekly segment where they would read out letters that students could send them, you had gathered the courage to send Johnny little messages about how you were crushing on him and it had quickly become a running gag on the show. Jaehyun would tease Johnny about it every week while Johnny kept insisting that his secret admirer should just talk to him. But how could you do that? Johnny was everything one could want in a boyfriend. Not only was he ridiculously tall and devastatingly handsome but he was also smart, always seemingly staying on top of his classes and he also went to the gym regularly if his thirst traps on his Instagram stories were anything to go by. When he wasn’t giving out advice in a gentle voice on their radio program, he was out partying with his frat brothers on the weekends more often than not complaining about headaches on their Sunday show. How could you just walk up to him and talk to him? Right. You couldn’t. So you had to resign to sending him anonymous love letters through his radio show.

“Welcome back, hi,” Johnny chuckled once the song had gently faded out and you couldn’t help but giggle along. “That was Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County,” Jaehyun tried to stay on script but you could almost hear the grin on his face because of Johnny’s antics, “If you want your song to play on today’s show, please suggest something over on our Twitter with the hashtag,” Jaehyun paused momentarily and let out a dramatic sigh before continuing, “hashtag JohnDplaymelikeaviolin.” Jaehyun hadn’t even read the whole hashtag out loud when Johnny was already bursting out in laughter and how could you not laugh along with his melodic laughter. “I swear to god I am never letting you choose hashtags for our show ever again,” Jaehyun groaned while Johnny sounded like he was still dying in the background. “Don’t be mean to me Jaehyunie,” he whined and even though today’s episode was not viewable, you could vividly imagine how he was pouting. While the two friends were busy bickering and talking about what they had done since their last show, you pulled up your own Twitter to send a recommendation in.

“Aaaah, I see we’re already getting plenty of suggestions. Sly-merlin suggested us Sexy Dirty Love by Demi Lovato – a great song – and added ‘I wish John-D would actually play me like a violin.” After a potent silence, Johnny broke out in laughter again. “And this is why you won’t choose any more hashtags,” Jaehyun groaned again. “Baby,” Johnny rasped into his mic and even though you weren’t wearing headphones, it sent tingles down your spine, “Just come to our frat party on Friday and I’ll see what I can do.” “Stop plugging our parties on the radio,” Jaehyun scolded the elder, the slap audible over the radio, “Also sly-merlin has to stand in line. You still have your number one admirer who has sent in a letter yet again.” “She still hasn’t come up to me,” Johnny shared, “I can only keep up my chastity for so long. I am saving myself for this girl.” You know he was joking but you were just a simple woman and even in your secluded home, you felt heat rising to your cheeks, your thumbs stopping on your keyboard where you had typed out your song recommendation. Both DJs shared a quiet laugh before Jaehyun asked: “And you really don’t know who she is?” “I really don’t man,” his friend sighed, “Like I have my suspicions because she has to be in my major if she sees me in class that often. That or she’s a stalker which I do not want to think about. But for real, hit me up. I’ll take you out for a coffee.” “Now everyone is going to come up to you and claim that they’re her.” “I’ll take that risk,” Johnny laughed, “Maybe I’ll finally meet the love of my life and settle down.” At that Jaehyun snorted loudly. “The woman that can make you settle down gets free coffee for like a month from me.” “Watch me have a wife and kids at 25 Jae, just to spite you,” his friend snorted, “But up until then, let’s play sly-merlin’s song recommendation: Sexy Dirty Love by Demi Lovato.”

While the song was playing, you finished up your own tweet and hit post before you grabbed your bag that you had carelessly thrown away before to get out your notes. You actually had to start a project for one of the classes you and Johnny actually did share. The professor had announced that he would announce the pairings for a group project tomorrow and you didn’t want to seem like an actual idiot if your group would decide to already meet up and discuss after class. So while you listened to your favorite DJs discuss the questions and worries of whoever had sent them to their email address, you worked through the notes you had taken over the last couple of weeks, trying your best to organize them to remember the key points.

“Oh John-D, I have a very special letter here,” Jaehyun said, waving the paper in front of the microphone so it would pick up the wiggling noises. “What could that be?” Johnny asked with over-exaggerated interest. “It’s from your secret admirer, John-D. So I think you should read it out.” Just like every time, they read your letter, your heart began beating faster and faster in your chest until you were sure, it would break free from your ribcage. “Okay, here I go,” Johnny announced while Jaehyun was playing the same cheesy music he always played when they were reading your letters, “Happy Thursday, John-D. The weekend is almost in reach, keep up the energy for the last day of classes! – she’s so sweet, I’m holding up alright – One of my professors will announce the pairings he made for a group project soon and I am nervous. I don’t have many friends in the course and I’m praying that I will get good group mates I can work well with.” “Oooh, I get that struggle,” Jaehyun interrupted, “I once had to work with a bunch of stoners and ended up doing all the work for a presentation that made up 30 percent of my grade. Worst experience of my life, would not recommend. But we’re wishing you all the luck.” “But you know what’s more interesting about this story?” Johnny tuned in, “Coincidentally my professor for my literature class is assigning our group projects tomorrow as well. Say, my sweet admirer, are you perhaps in the same literature class as me?” In your otherwise silent room, the panicked squeak you let out was loud even to your ears. There was no way Johnny could figure out who you were, there were probably at least 20 more girls with a crush on him in that class alone, so you were safe. “Oooh, so maybe she’s a lit major so that’s why she’s writing love letters.” “Could be but lots of people from different majors are taking that class,” Johnny argued, “Anyways, back to her letter. But I won’t let that disturb me! I will be doing my best regardless! – That’s the spirit – I’ll work through my notes as I listen to your honey voice so I can be prepared. I’m glad you don’t do viewable radios on Thursday’s or else I wouldn’t be able to get anything done, you’re just too distracting John-D,” at that Jaehyun let out a fake gag while Johnny just giggled softly, “Thank you secret admirer, I do clean up quite nicely if I do say so myself. – On last Sunday’s episode you melted my heart when you hid in your hoodie for half the show. – God that was the worst hangover I had in a looong while, I was so miserable.”

“You should have seen him at home,” Jaehyun laughed, “I had to physically drag his whole 180-something-centimeters body first into the shower, then into the car and into the station. He is the biggest crybaby when he’s hungover.” “Don’t expose me like that, Jaehyunie,” Johnny whined loudly, “I was dared to drink a bunch of tequila and my mother didn’t raise neither a quitter nor a coward.” “No, but clearly an idiot,” the younger DJ laughed his deep laugh. “Let me read my love letter in peace,” the other grumbled, “I couldn’t follow for half the show because I was so focused on watching you. Not in a creepy way of course! – Of course not,” Johnny chuckled, “I hope you finished that essay you had to work on after the show in time and still had some time to relax. – I did, don’t worry.” That you already knew when Johnny had handed in his essay in another class you two shared just before you had handed in yours and he had thrown you a little smile that had kept you going through the whole day. “Take care of yourself and keep smiling your beautiful smile, I look forward to seeing you again on Sunday or in classes. And fighting to Jae-D as well of course! – I look forward to hearing from you again, secret admirer. I bet your group project will go just fine, don’t worry too much. If anyone is mean to you, just expose them here and we’ll fight them for you.” “Love that she acknowledged me in one sentence as well,” Jaehyun grumbled, cutting off the cheesy music abruptly. “You’re just jealous you don’t have a sweet admirer who sends you cute messages,” the other teased his friend. “Yeah, yeah, shut up and put that letter in the box under your bed.” “It’s in my sock drawer, thank you very much.”

Giggling, you listened to the two friends bicker, your chest warm with a feeling you were scared to put a name on. “Anyways, I think it’s time for another music recommendation you can still send in via our lovely hashtag JohnDplaymelikeaviolin. This one is from lenaluvies and she says: Please play Hurts So Good by Astrid S thank you. No, thank you for sending something in darling. This one’s for you,” Johnny announced and you couldn’t help but laugh a little pained laugh. That song title hit a little too close to home for your liking. The rest of the radio show went by smoothly and Johnny and Jaehyun tried to help a handful of more students with their problems that couldn’t be more diverse. From a boy who had fallen in love with his best friend which had send him into an identity crisis over to a girl who was failing her classes because she claimed the professor hated her to a freshman who wanted to apply for a fraternity but was scared because of the rumors surrounding them which the DJs quickly debunked since they both were in the same fraternity. In the end they had to cut themselves short, asking their viewers to vote on a poll they would make if people wanted a whole Tuesday episode surrounding fraternities.

“So.” “So,” Johnny copied his friend. “We’re almost at the end of our time with you guys. We couldn’t get through all of your submissions but we hope our team picked a few good ones and at least some of you could get some advice.” “As always you’re free to send us your own stories to our e-mail JohnJaeNNN@NCTU.com to get some advice next Thursday from your favorite DJs: John-D.” “And Jae-D. Every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday on your campus radio on 127mHz. On NCT-“ “Night Night,” they said their ending together and just like every night with them, you said goodnight to your computer screen, closing the tab which draped your little apartment in silence. Sighing loudly, you looked over your notes that needed a little more work if you wanted to make a good first impression on your fellow students tomorrow. Because you couldn’t stand the silence, you opened your Spotify to play the NCT Night Night playlist Johnny and Jaehyun had made with the songs that had been recommended to them, still missing the new additions from tonight.

The next morning found you in your literature class, sitting two rows behind Johnny, staring at the back of his head while doodling on your paper rather than taking notes on whatever the professor was saying. If you were to let your eyes wander, you’d see that almost everyone in the big room was paying as much or even less attention as you were; the students in different states of excitement and anxiety over the group projects he had yet to announce. “I’m sorry professor,” Johnny’s voice suddenly cut through the room, “I’m sure you have already noticed that no one is paying attention to whatever you’re trying to teach us right now. Could you please just announce the groups for the project?” That moment you swore you would be able to hear a pin drop until your eccentric professor chuckled lowly. “I like you, Suh. I was waiting for someone to mention it,” he spoke, getting the dreaded list out of his bag, “Listen closely now, you’ll be assigned in groups of four and each group will get a specific novel to work on. Deadline will be by the end of the semester and your individual paper combined with the group presentation will make up 40% of your final grade.” That made a bunch of people, including you, gasp out loudly. A group project with this much credit to your final grade was always dreaded. “I don’t want to hear any complaints, that’s how it’s always been. Now listen carefully, I won’t repeat myself but the list will be hung on our blackboard as well.” With that being said, the professor began listing names and novels in the most monotone voice he could muster. To say you were basically vibrating off of your seat was an understatement when he got further and further down the list and neither yours nor Johnny’s name had been called yet. “And lastly, an all-time favorite: Romeo and Juliet.” You didn’t even register anything else after the professor had announced that the group featured both Johnny and you along with two other students you didn’t know. Your brain was reduced to static noise while everyone else was getting up around you to pick up the books that had already been stacked in a corner, probably by a poor TA. Only when a person bumped into you, you broke from your stupor to quickly pick up your stuff as well to hurry down to steps to where a crowd of students had already gathered.

Luckily Johnny towered over most of the other students and you could easily spot him and the rest of your group that were two other boys you didn’t recognize. “Hey, you’re the last one we were missing,” Johnny smiled and handed you over your copy of the book. “Y... Yeah, sorry for making you wait,” you stuttered, clutching the small book tightly in your hands. “No big deal,” Johnny played it off, “Do any of you have any more classes today?” When everyone declined, you all agreed that you should get a head start on your project as it would be hard to make a good project out of such an overused love story. While walking over to the student center to decide on a concept, conversation flowed easily between the four of you even though you were still really nervous to be around Johnny. God, you really hoped he didn’t think you were stupid or something just because you were nervous.

The little study session went by in a blur and only further confirmed that you were so whipped for Johnny it wasn’t even funny anymore. You found yourself attentively listening to all of his ideas and laughing at every of his stupid little jokes and only mildly spacing out while looking at Johnny when the others were discussing ideas which had led to one or two mildly embarrassing situations where you would lose track of what you were actually discussing, your mind blank of any input when they asked for your opinion.

Soon you found yourself parting ways with your groupmates, leaving you and Johnny alone because his frat house and your little apartment were located in the same general direction. “Anything fun you’re doing this evening?” Johnny asked, trying to make some light conversation to fill the silence. “No, I’ll just binge watch some shows maybe or listen to the campus radio,” you shrugged it off. While today’s show wasn’t your favorite, you quite liked the DJs soft and gentle voice. “You listen to the campus radio? I have a show on there,” Johnny smiled. “I like listening to you and Jaehyun,” you confessed, trying to fight the heat that was licking at your cheeks. “Oh.” “You seem surprised.” “Yeah, it kind of still seems weird that people enjoy listening to Jae and me rambling for hours on end. You know with him it just feels like I’m hanging out with my brother rather than work.” “Your voices are really soothing, you know,” you tried to explain what you were feeling when listing to them, “And your friendship is kind of adorable. Like we can feel how much you care about each other and you always genuinely try to help your listeners without making fun of them.” For a while Johnny didn’t say anything and you thought you had fucked it up, that he thought you were weird now. “Thank you,” he suddenly said. “Huh?” “It means a lot hearing that. We do lurk on Twitter to see what people think of our show but hearing it like this is something else entirely.” “It’s nothing,” you mused, playfully hitting his arm, “No need to get this soft.” “Hey,” he laughed, “I’ll have you know that I am 180 centimeters of walking softness despite what people might say about me.” Smiling softly you caught his eyes for the first time since you two had started walking and the way his honey eyes were smiling back at you momentarily took your breath away.

“I- My room is right around here, sooooo,” you stuttered. “It was nice working with you. Even though you were spacing out half the time,” Johnny teased, “Thinking about a special someone?” You. The word sat on the tip of your tongue, the low light of the afternoon sun making you bolder than you actually were and Johnny just made you feel incredibly comfortable. “No... No- I- I’m single.” “A crush then?” “Something like that,” you mumbled, your fingers nervously playing with the hem of your jacket. “Talk to him. Or her. Or them,” Johnny advised. “I really can’t,” you sighed, “He doesn’t even know I exist.” “Well you don’t need to confess your undying love for him,” he laughed, not knowing he was the boy in question, “Just you know. Casually talk to him. Get to know him.” “I’ll try?” “Is that a question?” “Yeah?” “Have more confidence in yourself,” he gently nudged you, “You’re nice and very easy to talk to.” “Nice... Wow.” “Shut up,” he laughed, “I usually give better compliments but I have yet to get to know you better.” “Would you... Would you even want that?” “Sure,” Johnny shrugged and your heart skipped a couple of beats, “I have to get going or everybody will already be drunk when I arrive. So... I’ll see you in class? And you’ll hear me on Sunday?” “Yeah sure. Don’t drink too much or you will be miserable all show like last week,” you giggled. “Don’t remind me,” he groaned, “I’m never going to drink tequila on a Saturday ever again.” “Goodbye Johnny,” you smiled, really liking how his name sounded when you said it out loud. “Bye,” he waved before going his way.

Once you were sure he was out of hearing distance, you let out a little happy squeak and jumped up and down excitedly. You did it. You had actually done it. You had talked to your crush. And managed to not make a complete fool out of yourself in front of him. Which was a win in your books. A huge win. With a little spring in your steps, you stepped by one of your favorite pizza places to treat yourself before heading home where you spend your evening daydreaming about none other than Johnny while watching reruns of old dramas.

“Hi, I’m Jae-D.” “And I am John-D. Welcome to NCT-“ “Night Night.” “John-D.” “Yes, Jae-D,” Johnny chuckled. “It’s Thursday again which means it’s time to tend to our listener’s worries,” Jaehyun read off of the script, not getting distracted by his friend’s antics, “And today is a very special episode.” “Special?” Jaehyun barely repressed to roll his eyes at his friend’s over-exaggerated acting before continuing: “Yes, since tomorrow is a day off for all students, we have decided to make this episode extra lengthy and-“ he shortly stopped to flash the camera a peace sign, “Viewable despite it being Thursday.” “Do we look okay?” Johnny laughed, checking himself out in the video that was playing on one of their monitors. “Aaaaah, the comments say we look good tonight, thank you,” Jaehyun mused.

And they really did. Not that either of them had to do a whole lot to look good but today they were both wearing white button-downs with their sleeves rolled up to expose their forearms. Jaehyun had even gone so far as to put on some fake glasses. “And if you’re following us on our Twitter you also already know that this week it’s all about love on our campus radio and our show today is no exception,” Johnny read his part of the script. “Today John-D and Jae-D are Loveholics, trying our very best to help you with your problems surrounding love,” Jaehyun completed, “You can send in song recommendations through the hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic just like taryn1026 did – I hope I said that right – but they recommended Paris in the Rain by Lauv to set the mood for today.”

The soft tunes of the song made you relax a little into your sofa where you had chosen to watch today’s episode of NCT Night Night. You had to say that you were kind of nervous for today’s episode. Just like every week you had written your letter to Johnny, telling him about your week and cheering him on for your group project. At this point it should have been pretty obvious just who exactly you were and judging by how Johnny was acting towards you, his flirting leaving you flustered after your study sessions and your group mates mildly annoyed, he seemed to already have put together the pieces. But yesterday while writing your letter you had felt extra bold (and maybe also extra riled up and horny from Johnny’s shameless flirting) and had written him a message that should confirm all his suspicions and would hopefully lead him straight to you and into your bed. But until the end of the show or at least until they read your letter, which you really hoped they did today as well, you had to wait sitting in your apartment, for once not in comfortable clothes but in a nice shirt and pants.

“That was Paris in the Rain by Lauv, recommended to us by taryn1026 through our Twitter with the hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic,” Johnny’s raspy voice filled your apartment when he leaned close to the mic, “Jae-D are you ready to make some love happen?” “I already had my love juice,” Jaehyun answered, showing his pink Starbucks drink to the camera, “And my reading glasses are on.” As to prove his point, he hiked his glasses up his nose before scratching his eye through the holes in the frame, making both DJs chuckle. For the next hour Johnny and Jaehyun tried to solve several relationship dramas as well as a very tricky friends-with-benefits situation and telling a boy to break up with his cheating girlfriend which had been a rather heartbreaking discussion. “So after this,” Jaehyun sighed, “Let’s play another song recommendation. Burtonized has sent in a very fitting song, I hope you all don’t mind a little Korean: It’s God Damn by I.M – a song about heartbreak.”

While the foreign song was playing, the two DJs stretched their backs and sipped on their respective drinks: Jaehyun still on his pink sugar concoction and Johnny already on his second iced Americano. Jaehyun must have found something funny on his phone, nudging his friend to look at him but Johnny was busy typing away on his own, only acknowledging his friend after he had typed his message. Just after that, your own phone buzzed with a message, showing Johnny’s name on the screen.

From: Johnny Are you watching our show?

To: Johnny Sure, you look good today

From: Johnny Make sure to listen closely ;)

“That was God Damn by I.M suggested by burtonized over our Twitter hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic,” Jaehyun’s smooth voice tore you from your spiraling thoughts about the winking face Johnny had sent. “Sadly our show is coming to an end even with our extended airtime.” “But John-D a very important letter is still missing before we close our show. Dare I say it could be the highlight of our show,” Jaehyun joked, already playing the cheesy music he was always playing when Johnny would read your letters. “You’re right Jae-D my lovely secret admirer has sent in another letter,” Johnny mused, arranging himself so he could read the printed out letter while being as close as possible to the mic for it to pick up the rasp in his voice, “Happy Thursday John-D, I hope your week has been more exciting than mine. I have just been going from class to class without much thought, the only high points are my group meetings for the group project we have to hand in soon – That seems very familiar, baby – But since today is all about love, I’ll tell you about a little problem I have: – get your love juice ready, Jae – There is this boy in my group. And boy isn’t really the right word to describe him, he’s a man really,” at that Johnny couldn’t hold back a low chuckle, “I’m sorry, I’ll be serious – And he is flirting with me. Has been for a couple of weeks now. And it has gotten to the point where our groupmates are kind of annoyed at us. He has also walked me home a couple of times but he never so much as touched me. At this point I am so frustrated with him. Is he just playing with me? Or is his mouth bigger than his actions actually are? He has been riling me up all day today and I was ready to let him have his way with me but he only wished me goodnight and left again, leaving me to deal with what he had done all by myself – oh wow, I,” Johnny stuttered, sharing a gaze with his friend who was only barely repressing his laughter, “Wow, okay, I hope we’re in the good for reading this out and it’s late enough,” clearing his voice and raking a hand through his hair, Johnny continued, “John-D I hope this man hears what he has done to me and will deal with the consequences of his actions. Would you play Animal by Jin Yosef and RIELL for me? Just in case this letter hasn’t gotten my point across? – Y... Yeah sure, darling. We’ll play that once our show is over.”

“So John-D,” Jaehyun grinned while loudly slurping on his ‘love juice’, “What would you advice your secret admirer to do about this problem?” “Well if I were her,” Johnny started, his gaze going straight to the camera where he knew you were watching and it felt like he was looking straight into your soul, “I’d wait for him. I’m pretty sure he can prove that his actions speak even louder than his words.” For a while it was quiet between the two DJs, safe for Jaehyun’s obnoxiously loud slurping noises but even if they would have been saying anything, you weren’t sure if you could have comprehended any words with how furiously your heart was beating. “Anyways,” Jaehyun eventually broke the silence once he was sure there was nothing left in his ‘love juice’, “I’m afraid that was it for tonight. This has been your extra lengthy episode of Jae-D and John-D and we will leave you with this wonderful song recommendation: Animal by Jin Yosef and RIELL. If you’ve liked today’s show, we’re here every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday night on your campus radio on 127mHz to listen to all of your worries on NCT-“ “Night Night,” Johnny joined in and they both waved into the camera as your song of choice started playing. The video stream didn’t cut off immediately, showing the boys gathering their things and if your eyes weren’t betraying you, you swore you saw Johnny tense up when the song turned a little more explicit. The two DJs waved to the camera one last time before the stream cut off, leaving the screen of your laptop dark.

That was when it dawned on you what you had done. Shit. With how Johnny had sounded, you probably had about fifteen to twenty minutes until he would be at your doorstep. Oh god. Shit. Taking a couple of deep breaths, you tried to ground yourself before hurriedly closing your laptop and cleaning everything that seemed messy in your little one-room apartment. That was until you heard a knock on your door.

With shaky hands, you slowly opened the door and while you knew who would be standing on the other side, you weren’t ready for how he was going to look like: Johnny was leaning against the doorway casually with his arms crossed over his chest so the tight button-down he was wearing would strain over the planes of his chest muscles but what really reeled you in was how dark his eyes looked when he raked them over your body. “Good evening miss,” he drawled. “Hi,” you breathed. “Tell me what you want so I’m not misinterpreting any of this,” Johnny all but growled, one of his hands coming up to cup your face. “I want you to have me.” If you thought his eyes were dark before, they turned into bottomless black orbs once the words had left your lips. “You don’t know what you’re asking for, baby.” “Please,” you whimpered and that seemed to break Johnny’s resolve as he pulled you close to him and all but crashed his lips into yours. The kiss wasn’t delicate in any way, shape or form with how Johnny was licking into your mouth the second a moan left your lips. His tongue was intertwining with yours messily and in no time both of you were panting into each other’s mouths. “Inside. Now,” you rasped. “All with due time,” Johnny chuckled but let you pull him into your apartment, slamming the door shut to crowd you against it, one of his strong thighs slipping between your legs like it belonged there, “If you’re a good girl and listen well, I’ll give you anything you want.” “Fuck,” you cursed before slamming your lips together again, a new neediness bleeding into the kiss as you tugged on the longer strands of hair at the back of Johnny’s neck which made him growl lowly. “Anything off-limits?” Johnny breathed into your skin as he kissed down your neck to suck a mark there while his hands were busy pulling your shirt from your pants so he could rake them over your naked skin. “Just,” you had to cut yourself off with a moan, “Don’t be mean to me.” “Never,” he promised, “You’ll be my pillow princess.” His sweet words were in stark contrast to how hard his hands were gripping your hips and how his teeth were grazing over your neck that must be littered with marks already. “Take me to bed,” you heaved breathlessly, positive your legs would give out if it wasn’t for Johnny holding you up.

Listening to your demand, he slowly started walking you backwards towards your bed until the two of you were toppling down on top of the covers, his lips never leaving your skin. Whoever had spread the rumors about Johnny being a great lover had been absolutely right, he knew just how to touch you to have you gasping for air and judging by the grin on his lips he hadn’t even started yet. “Please,” you whimpered, arching into his touch, not exactly sure what exactly you were asking for but Johnny seemed to know all the better when he freed you from your top and pants to leave you in your matching lace set while he was still fully clothed in his by now wrinkled button-up and pants. “All for me?” He chuckled and pressed a kiss right between the valley of your breasts, his big hands cupping the soft flesh to squeeze it gently. “Have me,” you gasped out and you could feel the growl he let out vibrating where you were pressed together. “I’m going to ruin you,” Johnny promised, pulling down the cups of your bra to wrap his plush lips around one of your nipples to tease the soft nub until it hardened under his ministrations, sending waves of pleasure down your spine and straight to your core where you could feel your wetness starting to seep into the fabric of your panties. “Johnny,” you mewled and arched into his every touch, his calloused fingertips setting your skin alight when he let them travel down your body to tease over your lower stomach. As if by reflex, you let your thighs fall open for him to finally touch you where you needed him the most. “Such a good girl,” he smiled, blowing cold air over your spit-slicked nipple to watch you squirm beneath him. Your remark got stuck in your throat when he finally cupped you through your panties, feeling how damp the fabric had already become. “Naughty,” he chuckled, his eyes never leaving your face as he circled your clit through the fabric, watching your eyes fluttering shut when his gaze became too intense.

“Johnny,” you sighed, forgetting all other words except for his name. “Relax, princess,” he rasped and kissed his way down your body, leaving love bites on the sensitive skin of your stomach and thighs that shook with anticipation. If you’d say you hadn’t dreamed about his lips on you like this, you would lie and you weren’t going to miss the sight of this for nothing. Fighting back the fog that had started to cloud your mind, you forced your eyes open to look down to where he had settled between your open thighs to find him staring right back at you. “Good girl,” he praised you again before pressing a kiss over your clothed sex that made your head fall back already, the anticipation of what was to come making you push up your hips which made Johnny chuckle lowly. He didn’t leave you any time to feel embarrassed by how needy you were when he hooked your panties to the side unceremoniously and licked a broad stripe up your center, tasting your arousal. “Oh fuck,” you breathed out, your hands flying down to tangle them in the long strands of his hair. Johnny worked his tongue in slow and clever strokes, leaving your mind reeling with pleasure and taking his time to take you apart piece by piece, not even paying attention to your leaking center or your aching clit. But when he did wrap his lips around your clit to gently suck on the nub, your mind almost went numb with how intense his touch was, your thighs clamping shut around him. To make it even worse, he started humming around you while prying your thighs back open, holding you down with his large hands. You felt your orgasm approach almost embarrassingly fast now that he was altering between teasing your clit with his tongue, lips and even his teeth and fucking your velvety walls with his tongue, setting your nerve endings on fire. “Johnny I’m close,” you warned him but instead of slowing down, he stretched his jaw wide to press his tongue further into you, his nose bumping into your clit in the process and with the combined sensation and his doubled effort, it took no time for your first orgasm of the night to wash over you, a scream of his name leaving your lips as you shook through it, your mind going equally as numb as your legs.

When you came back to it, Johnny had straightened up between your legs and he was grinning down at you while he was unbuttoning his shirt, his face still shiny with your arousal. “That was the first one,” he spoke darkly. “Come here,” you whined, making grabby hands for him until he took pity on you and covered your body with his before connecting your lips in a bruising kiss. You could still taste yourself on his lips but that somehow just made it even hotter.

“Want you inside me,” you panted against his lips when Johnny broke the kiss in favor of raking his teeth over your racing pulse. “Yeah?” He rasped and ground his hips down into yours, making you feel him strain against the fabric of his pants. “Need it,” you moaned at the sweet friction. “Think you can take me?” He laughed as he leaned back on his hunches to pop open the button of his pants, pulling down the zipper agonizingly slow. With wide eyes you watched him push his pants down his narrow hips, leaving him in just his navy boxers that showed the sizable imprint of his hard cock, the fabric against the head dark from where he had leaked precum. Chuckling, he stroked over the outline and just the sight alone made your mouth water. “Show me,” you breathed, spreading your thighs so he could see your needy core, clenching around nothing. “Hmm,” he hummed, dragging one of his fingers that wasn’t preoccupied with teasing himself through the mess of arousal and his saliva between your legs, only barely dipping it into you to feel the muscles trying to suck him inside. “Don’t tease me,” you whined high in your throat. “But I like seeing you squirm,” Johnny grinned but took mercy on you and sunk his finger into you up to the knuckle, gently pumping it inside you. Still sensitive from how intense your last orgasm had been, you were torn between pulling away and wanting more but Johnny made the decision for you when he pulled his finger out, wiping your arousal onto your thigh.

“Eyes on me,” he commanded and finally freed his cock from his briefs. “Fuck.” The curse left your lips without even noticing at the sight of his flushed cock, too heavy to properly stand up against his toned abs. The tip was tinted red and shiny with precum that Johnny generously spread down that whole length, his eyes not leaving yours as you watched him lazily jerk himself. “Like what you see?” You eagerly nodded your head. “Want it inside me.” “Yeah? Show me.”

Throwing all caution out of the window, you quickly sucked two of your fingers between your lips before guiding them to your weeping core to slip them inside you, letting out an over-exaggerated moan as you crooked them. “Oh you’re so naughty, baby,” Johnny groaned, squeezing the base of his cock tightly as he watched you fingering yourself and if you had even one coherent thought left in your head, you’d have the decency to be embarrassed because of how intensely he was staring. “It’s not enough,” you pouted, pulling your fingers free and spreading them to look at the slick covering them, “I’m so wet for you.” “Such a dirty mouth,” he groaned, quickly grabbing his pants to fish a condom from his wallet to roll over his hard length. “Please, Johnny,” you hiccupped, winding your legs around his waist to pull him closer to you. “Sssh, princess,” he soothed you, running his hands over your torso before bending down to press tender kisses to your stomach, “I’ll take care of you.” “Please kiss me.”

Dropping his elbows next to your head to support his weight, he covered your body with his and caught your lips in a kiss much too tender for your current situation, taking his time to explore your mouth until you were perfectly pliant beneath him. “Tell me if it hurts,” he whispered into the small space between you while he snaked a hand between your bodies to guide his cock to your core. When the head slipped in without much resistance, both of you let out twin moans of pleasure. Painstakingly slowly Johnny pushed inside you, centimeter by centimeter until his hips were flush to yours. “Breathe, princess,” he reminded you because you indeed had held your breath and had buried your nails in his biceps. “Shit, you’re big,” you cursed. “So I’ve been told,” Johnny chuckled and peppered your face and neck with little kisses while he slowly ground his hips so you could get used to him inside you.

“Move,” you demanded after a while.   “What’s the magic word baby?” He grinned. “Please, Johnny,” you whimpered, clenching down on him. “Once more.” “Don’t make me beg.” “But you sound so pretty when you do,” he chuckled, only barely moving his hips. “Johnny please,” you whined, trying your best to move on his cock on your own but the angle was just not working out. “Oh, you want to do the work?” “I want you to move,” you groaned, pawing at his chest.

“But I think you’d look so pretty riding my cock,” Johnny rasped and in one fluid movement, he had sat up and pulled you onto his lap. Shit, it felt like he was even deeper now. “Come on, princess.” Whining, you wound your arms around his shoulders and pulled your legs beneath you so you could lift your hips up to make his cock smoothly slide out, the friction just right before you slowly dropped back down again, earning you an appreciative groan from Johnny. “That’s right, baby,” he praised you as you slowly found a comfortable pace, swiveling your hips until the angle was just right. Tightening the grip you had on his shoulders to use it as leverage, you began riding him in earnest, impaling yourself on his cock over and over again until your head was spinning and your thighs started to burn. “Come on, doll,” Johnny grinned, catching one of your nipples between his lips. Whining, you rolled your hips faster until your thighs began shaking. “Need help?” He just grinned, his big hands holding onto your hips to help you move up and down his cock at a steadier pace. “Please Johnny,” you hiccupped, hiding your face in his neck to ground yourself, “Please fuck me.” “Am I not doing just that?” He chuckled, filthily grinding his cock inside you. “Do it right,” you panted into his skin, “Fuck me like you mean it.”

“Then get on your hands and knees for me, baby.” He didn’t have to tell you twice, it was almost comical how quickly you obeyed his command and arched your back for him. “Hmm, that’s it,” he praised you, tracing the curve of your spine with his hands until he reached the space between your shoulder blades where he gently pushed down to make you arch even further. “So good and pliant for me, just waiting to be filled.” “Please,” you just whined again, past the point of caring about how pathetic you sounded, begging for his cock. “Say it baby,” he demanded, slapping his cock against your wet folds. “Please fuck me Johnny. Please. I want your cock inside me so badly. Want you to fuck me until I can’t even remember my own name anymore. Please I need it. I-“ your frantic rambling got cut off by the surprised moan leaving your lips as he thrust into you without any warning. “Don’t hold back baby,” Johnny rasped before gripping your hips tightly to finally fuck you in earnest, the sound of skin slapping together loud in the otherwise silent room. “God, your ass looks amazing,” he moaned, burying himself in your tight heat over and over again, mesmerized by how his cock was glistening in the low light and how easily your body opened up for him, “You’re basically made to take my cock.” You could only mewl at his dirty words and fist the sheets tightly in your hands as you tried to meet his thrusts as best as you could while you felt like you got your soul fucked right out of you.

“Feels so good,” you slurred when you felt the familiar knot in your stomach ready to snap, clenching around Johnny’s cock. “God baby, if you keep clenching like that I’m gonna cum,” Johnny cursed, grabbing you by the neck to pull you up against his chest, the pace of his hips only getting faster. “Please Johnny. Want it inside,” you whined, letting him use your body how he wanted to relish in the low moans he let out. “You want me to fill you up baby?” “Want it so bad, Johnny,” you mewled. “Then cum for me. Cum on my cock and I’ll give you anything you want.” And oh god. You had never thought that the strained sound of a couple of words could be enough to actually trip you over the edge but the rasp in Johnny’s voice had you falling apart in his arms, your orgasm ripping through you so hard it had your thighs shaking. “Such a good girl,” Johnny praised you before he let out a low guttural moan and fucked into you once – then twice – before his hips came to a halt, emptying his cum inside the condom.

For a while you two just panted loudly before Johnny gently laid you back down onto the mattress, chuckling lowly when you whined at the loss of his cock. “Shit,” you giggled while he quickly got rid of the condom, throwing it in the general direction of your trashcan. So tender you could have missed it, Johnny pressed a row of kisses down your spine until he reached the swell of your ass. “Cuddle me,” you pouted, making grabby hands at him. “We’re sweaty, princess,” he laughed but gave in when you kept pouting. “I don’t care,” you whined, fitting your head beneath his, wrapping your arms and legs around his body to cling to him like a koala. “You’re cute,” he smiled, pressing his lips to your forehead.

“For how long did you know?” “Know what?” Johnny asked, clearly confused. “That I was your secret admirer.” “I didn’t.” “It was so obvious,” you groaned. “Okay maybe I got a hunch after we started that group project. But you never said anything.” “What was I supposed to say? Oh Johnny, by the way, I’m the one who has been writing you cringey love letters for like half a year already. Please go out with me?” That made Johnny laugh, the sound melodic in the quiet of your room. “I would have said yes, you know?” He spoke lowly, “I’ll miss your letters.” “What makes you think I will stop writing them?” “Because you can tell me all that stuff in person now when we go on dates.” “We’ll go on dates?” “That’s what people do when they like each other, princess,” Johnny chuckled, “And I really like you. Both as my secret admirer and my classmate.” “Oh my god stop,” you whined, hiding your hot face in his chest, feeling shy all of a sudden while Johnny was just laughing.

“I like you too,” you eventually mumbled once it had gotten quiet again. “I figured,” he teased you. “I changed my mind,” you immediately shot back, rising from where you were cuddled into his chest but every other protest died on your tongue when you saw his dreamy expression, his honey eyes finding yours and completely ignoring the fact that you were still very much naked. “Date me,” he said. “Okay,” you answered, easily meeting his lips in a sweet kiss that wouldn’t be the last one you two shared tonight.

“Hello and welcome back, that was Middle Of The Night by Monsta X, suggested to us by raibebe through our Twitter with the hashtag JonJaeLoveTalk. We’re your DJ’s John-D.” “And Jae-D on NCT Night Night. Hello again to all of our listeners. John-D.” “Yes Jae-D,” Johnny chuckled, leaning back in his chair. “Something is off today. I looked through our mail and there was no letter from your secret admirer.” “Oh really,” he feigned surprise. “Either they didn’t send anything in or our director got sick of the pining.” “I can calm you right back down Jae-D,” Johnny smiled, “Because she simply doesn’t need to send any more letters. I finally found her.” “No way. For real? And you didn’t tell me? I have to find out through our radio show? Friendship is dead,” Jaehyun sighed dramatically and you couldn’t help but chuckle. “Jae-D you know you’ll always be the number one in my heart, you know that.” At that Jaehyun let out fake gagging noises that made both friends chuckle.

“No but for real. I finally found her and asked her out. It’s going great so yeah,” Johnny shrugged, “In case you’re listening baby: I’m dropping by later and bring sushi.” “This is so domestic already,” Jaehyun sighed dramatically, “Where is my secret admirer?” “Maybe you could find love as well if you stopped acting like the textbook example of a frat boy.” “What is that even supposed to mean?”

Smiling, you leaned back on your sofa and listened to your boyfriend bickering with his best friend. Boyfriend. That sounded good even though it still felt unreal. Love Letters weren’t dead after all it seemed.

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

Don’t Go Breaking My Heart | Charlie Gillespie

Requested by anonymous: Hi! Could you possibly do a Charlie x reader fic where they are filming season 2 & there is a new character (fashion expert/can see ghost/a little bit of enemies with Luke at first) but off screen they are very close (always hanging out/on ig posts & stories/dance partners/they sing karaoke/adventure) & the whole cast likes to tease them about it but they deny any feelings however they are about to film a very important scene that involves their characters & might change everything between them.

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x reader

Warnings: fluff

Words: 2,789

Season 2. Finally Season 2. Everyone had been hoping, wishing, praying for a season 2 of Julie and The Phantoms, and after months of waiting, Netflix finally picked it up for a second season. After those months, the actors had just to wait a little while longer while the crew wrote up the first drafts of scripts and made it perfectly save for the actors to do their work. Once all of that’s ready and they’re good to go, the cast finally reunite again in Vancouver. They even meet some new cast members. Like you. You had auditioned for the role of Daniela Ramos, Julie’s cousin and Victoria’s daughter, and got it pretty much straight away. Daniela is a fashion student at a High School in Melrose Hill and Julie asks her for some help with costumes for her next gig with her band. To Julie’s surprise, Daniela can actually see the boys, even when they’re not playing, which causes for a lot of trouble in the band and family, especially between Julie and Luke. This is your first big role on the small screen and you’re the most excited you’ve ever been. You met the other cast members at the summer bootcamp before the filming process would start, and though almost everything had to be done with a face mask covering half of everyone’s face, it still was a lot of fun getting to meet everyone and spend the most fun summer ever. Every day, you grew closer and closer to everyone on set, and soon became best friends with Madi, Jadah, Savannah and Tori, doing plenty of sleepovers. Besides the girls, you also grew closer to Charlie, Owen and Jeremy, but mostly Charlie. For some reason, the two of you just clicked instantly. You have the same humor, the same taste of adventure, the same passions and dreams. You, Charlie and Owen even rented a place together to live in for the time being in Vancouver. You got even closer during filming, especially since you and Charlie have a lot of scenes together. “Oh my God, Luke, you’re so annoying!” you yell at him when the two of you are in the garage, taping a scene. It had taken you about ten takes and you still couldn’t help but giggle at the shocked face he pulled every time. “If I’m so annoying, Dani, why do you keep coming back?!” The angry face he pulls resembles that of an angry kitten, which just makes you crack up again. “God dammit, Y/N!” Charlie laughs now too as Kenny yells “Cut!” “Sorry! Sorry, guys! I promise I’m a real actor!” You hold your hands up in defense, then cough to get ready for another take. This time around, you could finally manage to get through it without laughing. “Yes!” Charlie exclaims when Kenny yells “Cut!” again. He holds his hand up for a high five, which you giddily give him. “Do you need any more takes, Kenny?” he asks the man himself. “Nope, you’re good! You can go on your break now!” he pats Charlie’s shoulder. “Nice job, guys!” “Thanks, Kenny,” you say, the smile growing on your face. “I need food, Gillespie,” you tell your best friend, linking your arm with his. “Let’s go get food!” The two of you head down to catering and sit down at a table with a plate full of food. “What are we doing tonight?” he then asks before taking a bite of food. You swallow your bite of food and take a sip from your drink. “Don’t you have a night shoot tonight?” you ask, remembering him saying something about a late call. “No, that’s tomorrow, after our dance rehearsal,” he replies after swallowing the food. “Oh! Okay!” You start thinking of things to do, “We could go to karaoke? Bring the others maybe?” He raises his eyebrows, looking at you questionably. “I’ve always loved karaoke,” you shrug with a giggle. “Yeah, okay!” Charlie nods his head agreeingly. “Karaoke it is!” The two of you smile up at each other, teeth showing, both of you glowing. “What are you love birds discussing?” Owen asks when he joins them, his voice muffled from the mask covering his face. He pulls it down to under his chin as he and Jeremy join the two at the table. “We’re thinking about going to karaoke tonight with the whole team!” you tell them, completely ignoring the ‘love birds’. “Ooh, fun!” Owen exclaims with a smile that nearly reaches his ears. “Yeah, we’ll leave after shooting the last scene tonight,” Charlie suggests, looking at you for confirmation. You nod your head agreeingly. That night, you and the rest of the cast head to the nearest karaoke place you know. You’ve linked arms with Savannah and Tori, giggling through the night, trying to keep your balance on your heeled boots. Meanwhile, without you realizing, Charlie has been keeping his eyes on you the whole way there. He finds it adorable how your giggle floats through the night air and your hips bump against the other girls’. He couldn’t lie, you had easily become the light in his life. “So, what song shall we begin with?” you ask the gang as you settle into the booth. “Pick the first one on the list,” Jeremy replies when no one else does. You nod your head curtly and press play on the first song, which is Living on a Prayer by Bon Jovi. You can already tell after that first song; tonight is going to be a fun night. You sing a couple of songs with the girls, there are many group numbers, and you even sing one with your roommates. After singing with Owen and Charlie, the latter points at you. “We’re going to sing together now!” he exclaims excitedly before turning around and picking a song for you to sing. When he’s picked one, he grabs your hand to pull you closer towards him. You blink a couple of times, unable to process what’s happening right now. The opening notes to Don’t Go Breaking My Heart by Elton John and Kiki Dee chime through the booth. You glance over at Savannah and Tori, who offer you an encouraging smile. Then you look at Jadah and Madison, but they’re too busy giggling and whispering, and it makes you wonder if that’s about you and Charlie. Your eyes dart over to the boys – Jeremy, Owen and Sacha – who just offer you suggestive smiles and eyebrow-wiggles. Charlie’s voice captures your attention again, and you turn to him. “I couldn’t if I tried,” you sing back to him. The encouraging smile on Charlie’s face calms you down a little up to the point where it almost seems like the two of you are the only people in the room. You have no clue what is happening or why it’s happening. All you know is that you’ve wanted it to happen sooner. Though you wouldn’t ever admit that to anyone. It’s the way he looks at you and the way he makes you feel like you’re the only person on this planet that matters. It’s been the way he’d looked at you since that first day of meeting him. “I won't go breaking your heart,” you sing the very last line to him ever so softly, not even looking at the screen anymore, but instead, looking into his eyes. “Don't go breaking my heart,” he sings back. The song ends and you both lower your microphones, staring into each other’s eyes. If it wasn’t for the rest of the cast breaking out into cheers and applause, you would’ve kissed him then and there. But it startles you, and you step away from him upon realizing how close you are and how that must look to the others. “So, when’s the wedding?” Madison asks teasingly, which makes the others laugh, and you blush. After that night at karaoke, the two of you had silently agreed to forget anything ever happened. Savannah said you were in denial, but you believed you weren’t. You told her it was just the atmosphere in the air that night, the both of you had consumed a little bit of alcohol and it might’ve just been that. No one stopped teasing you though. On every possible occasion, they’d ask you if you’d kissed him yet, or when your next date it, or started singing Don’t Go Breaking My Heart randomly. You just shook it off every time, finding it amusing how consumed the cast was with this ‘relationship’ you had with Charlie. There was nothing more going on than just a really, really tight friendship. Until the dance scene happened. Your character, Dani, was supposed to go to a school dance with her crush, but she was nervous because she had never slow danced with anyone before. When she tells Luke, he insisted on teaching her, saying he’d gone to plenty of school dances back in ’94 and ’95 before he died. You and Charlie know this choreography by heart, you’ve been doing it for weeks on end at bootcamp and during rehearsals. It had always just been fun and games, the two of you being immaculate dancers and bouncing off of each other so well because of your tight friendship. “I could teach you?” Charlie says as Luke, stepping closer to you. You raise your eyebrows at him. “I’ve gone to numerous dances in my days, Dani…” One corner of his mouth curls up into a teasing smirk. “Unless you want to embarrass yourself in front of… Jake.” He emphasizes the name of your fictional crush, to which you react with wide eyes and a blush spreading on your cheeks. “Come on, Dani!” He reaches out for your hand, which you place hesitantly in his. Dani being able to see ghosts, is also able to make them corporeal. The lights on set dim a little, except for one spot on the pair in the middle of the studio, and then the music starts playing through the speakers. Charlie starts singing the song they’d learned at bootcamp, one the cast wrote together during the quarantine. The atmosphere in the studio has suddenly become really intense. You can feel the butterflies erupting in your stomach as the man in front of you sings to you, mere inches away from each other as he leads you in this beautiful dance Paul Becker and Tori Caro choreographed for you. Just like at the karaoke booth, it feels like the two of you are the only people on set. Just you and him. You and Charlie. You and your best friend. There’s no denying you have feeling for him anymore. You knew you did, you just told yourself it wasn’t a good idea and suppressed those feelings, pushing them down. It worked for a while. Until now. “Cut!” Kenny yells after your scene. You step away from Charlie, glancing down at the floor as you try your hardest to hide your flustered face. “That was perfect, guys! It really looks like the two of you were in love!” he claps his hands in excitement, then tells them to do it again. After four takes of the dance, Kenny tells you to go and take a break. Without saying another word to Charlie, you rush off set and towards your trailer where you sit down on a chair, trying to calm your breathing. Charlie might not like you the way you like him. Admitting to these feelings might just ruin everything the two of you have. With this in mind, you grab your phone and text Savannah, asking her to come over to your trailer. Maybe she could help you. “Are you okay?” she asks when she enters and finds you staring at the ceiling. “No…” you reply and take a deep breath, “I think I’m in love with my best friend?” “Oh, sweetie…” Savannah sighs, and pulls you up to take you in a hug, “I know…” You pull her away again to face her properly. “What do you mean ‘you know’?” “Everybody knows,” she starts, “The two of you have been inseparable since the day you met, and everyone can see the way you look at each other. Plus, your duet the other night was a little intense for it to be a platonic one.” She chuckles, and you can’t help but chuckle too. She then grabs her phone from her back pocket, opening Instagram. “You know fans have caught on too, right?” She shows you the comments on some of Charlie’s pictures on his account. One picture is of the two of you, napping in Julie’s bed on set, cuddled up. He even posted pictures from your hikes on your days off. All of them are bombarded with comments from fans saying, ‘I ship it!’ or ‘Y/S/N’. Sav then opens her dm’s which are flooded with fans asking if you and Charlie are dating yet, and how the two of them are so in love with each other. “Charlie isn’t in love with me?” you deny, not believing one bit about it. “He is, though…” This does not come from Savannah’s mouth. Your eyes widen when you recognize the voice, and peek behind Savannah to find your best friend standing at your open trailer door. “Sav, can you give us a minute?” he asks the younger girl. “More than a minute,” she chirps, offering you a wink before leaving the trailer. Charlie steps in completely and moves until he’s in front of you. He takes your hands in his, and chuckles at your overwhelmed and confused expression. “Are you okay?” he asks, that beautiful smile of his persistent on his face. “Y—yeah? No? I’m not sure?” you sigh, trying to get your thoughts in order. “Charlie, wha—?” “Can I talk? I’ve been going over this conversation in my mind a billion times, and if I don’t say it now, I think I’m going to forget what I’m supposed to say…” You nod your head in response. “Y/N, I’ve been in love with you since the very first time I saw you walking in at bootcamp. You looked adorable with your little nervous smile and your polite hellos to everybody. I knew from that moment on that I wanted to get to know you better, and that I wanted to become more than just friends…I didn’t think you’d feel the same way, so I told myself that it was okay if we’d just stay friends. Especially since your character kind of hates mine and you bring Dani to life so convincingly, that I was almost sure you hated me too,” you chuckle at that, “But I can’t hide it anymore, Y/N. I am so embarrassingly in love with you that I could’ve kissed you after that scene we just did and that I could kiss you right now even though I’m—” before he can finish his sentence, you lean up and crash your lips onto his, your hands flying into his hair. He’s a little startled at first, but quickly melts into the kiss and presses you closer to him. “I am so embarrassingly in love with you too, Charlie,” you whisper when you pull away, pressing your forehead against his. “They’re going to be so relieved,” you tell him with a chuckle. He frowns his eyebrows at you. “Who?” he asks. You take his hand in yours and lead him towards the door of your trailer, pushing it open and making it bump against whoever was closest to the door. All of your cast mates scramble, trying to act natural while Owen rubs his forehead since he was the one that got a door in his face. “Ah, them!” Charlie chuckles. “Thanks for the door in my face, guys,” Owen says disgruntled. “That’s on you, buddy,” you tell him with a grin. “Don’t you guys have a scene to shoot or something?” Their eyes widen at the realization and, after yelling at the two how happy they are for them, rush to set in a hurry. “So, where were we?” Charlie turns back to you when everyone’s gone. “Don’t you have a scene with them?” “Shit!” he grumbles and jumps off the small steps in front of the trailer. He starts running towards set but turns around almost immediately to you and kisses your lips quickly, but sweetly, and then runs off. You watch him with an amused smile on your face. There was nothing to be afraid about after all and nothing changed between you two. You were still the best of friends, just friends that kiss and are in love with each other. But both of you happy.

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