miss-mahal

[vettelsvee]

GOODBYES ARE BITTERSWEET | Sebastian Vettel ✩₊˚.⋆ PART 1: I'LL SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN [NEXT PART]

goodbyes are bittersweet masterlist f1 masterlist | ao3 | requests or let's talk!

rb sebastian vettel x gf!reader

word count: 4095

summary: seb's gf finds out she's pregnant, and she decides that hiding her pregnancy is the best she could do due to seb's career

warnings: pregnancy, mentions of cheating, curse words, angst, fighting. set on may 2013. for a bit of background: reader and seb have been friends since they were literal babies, but growing up their feelings changed and started dating on 2006.

a/n: this is actually the first chapter of the very first series, Infinity, i posted here! i had to cancel it because i had some problems with wattpad people telling me through indirects i copied their work and i got very, very unmotivated with this story i absolutely love (when actually this was a draft I had of a tom holland fic back in 2017 lol), but i'd love to post the following parts if you like this one! feedback is appreciated, as well as reblogs <3

© VETTELSVEE (2024). please, do not steal, copy or translate my works. thanks for reading!

You pulled the flush and got up, being careful not to get dizzy. You took some paper and wiped the corners of your mouth to remove any possible traces of vomit. You headed to the sink automatically, quickly pulling out the toothbrush you’ve gotten used to carrying since nausea became part of your daily routine. You really tried to get rid of the acidity in your throat and the bad taste in your mouth, but as you expected, and knowing you've been experiencing this more times than you'd like in the past month and a half, it was impossible.

"Y/N, are you still there? Are you okay?" Britta's voice, accompanied by a few knocks on the door, snapped you out of your trance. You startled and forced yourself to answer, even though it was the last thing you feel like doing.

"Yes, I’m coming. Just a sec!"

"Don’t take too long," she replied. "Not that I don’t want you to take your time, but Seb is worried."

Panic-stricken, you suppressed a laugh that almost escaped.

If only he knew what you were about to do…

"Don’t worry, I’ll be right out," you answered.

You stared at yourself in the mirror, contemplating your own reflection longer than you’d like. Minutes passed, and you almost completely lost track of time, aware that you needed to put an end to the intrusive thought that was telling you that what you were about to do was, wrong but inevitably the best thing.

You were going to break away from everything you’ve wanted since you were a child just because things hadn't turned out "right." Seb was at the peak of his professional career, constantly surpassing himself in every race, making history, while you remained stuck in your hometown, working at a bar, dealing with drunks and immature kids pretending to be adults daily, because you didn’t have the luck, or perhaps the financial means, to study what you had dreamed of since you were a child who just wanted to make music.

You leaned on the sink, feeling the cold starting to penetrate your body. A great tremor shook you, and it became increasingly difficult to stay on your feet. Your eyes filled with tears as you confronted the reality of what you were about to do, of the decision you'd made.

Since your boyfriend began not only achieving his dreams but making a name for himself, you thought you didn’t deserve him because you were heading in the opposite direction. Now that you’ve gotten pregnant by him, possibly because the birth control pills you were taking failed for some unknown reason, you felt like this even more.

Despite the love you still felt and possibly always will feel for Sebastian, since you took the pregnancy test with Hanna at one of the most secluded malls in Heppenheim, you knew that letting him know he was going to be a father was never part of your plans.

"Come on, Y/N…" you told yourself, still staring at your reflection. "This is for Seb. You're doing this for him and his career."

You took a deep breath a couple more times, feeling the knot in your throat choking you. You looked at the girl full of insecurities you were one more time. Her eyes reflected doubt and, above all, fear, and you sadly sensed that it will continue to be this way from now on.

Trying to control yourself, you slowly opened the bathroom door, as if wanting to torture yourself. Britta was sitting in one of the chairs, reviewing something in a notebook until you closed the door a bit harder than you meant to.

"Are you really okay?" she asked again, giving you an uncertain look. "I've been hearing you vomit for several weeks now. Don’t you think you should go to the doctor?"

The knot in your throat seemed to tighten even more. See a doctor… Of course you’d been to the doctor! Four weeks and, as of today, four days pregnant was the answer, but no one beyond your parents and your best friend could know.

"Yes, I’m fine," you replied quickly, trying to fake your answer as best as you could. "Don’t worry. It’s probably just a bit of stress," you added, praying she believed you. "I haven't had time to see a doctor, but I assure you, with all my heart, that everything is fine."

And that's why you're leaving the love of your life today.

Britta seemed to hesitate for a moment. Her lips remained slightly open, as if she wanted to say something. Her look gave you the feeling that she didn't quite believe what you were saying.

"Whatever you say, Y/N," she finally said, standing up from her seat. "But seriously, if you need to talk or anything, I’m here for you."

"I know."

"Well, seeing that you're as calm as a lake, we’d better hurry up," she told you. "The last free practice session is about to start, and Seb is probably worried why we haven’t come back yet."

You prepared to leave the room with her. You were more than sure to go with her, but as you were almost out the room, you realize it was now or never.

You stopped before going from the driver’s room to the garage, watching Britta hurry down the stairs, probably aware that you were running late even though there were still about forty-five minutes before the session started.

"Wait, Britta. Just a sec!"

You were convinced your shout from the top of the stairs was heard by more people than you’d like. You wished you could turn invisible as you saw some eyes on you, including Britta’s, which made it hard to speak, and not to mention the variety of emotions you were feeling inside you.

You needed to calm down and act a bit better, or everything you’d been mulling over will end up falling apart.

"I’d like to talk to Seb… alone," you finally said.

"Y/N Y/L/N," she said your name much more seriously now. "You’ve told me that everything is fine, but… are you sure it really is? Are you sure nothing’s wrong?"

No, everything is wrong, and yes, more things are happening than I’d like.

You knew you could trust Britta completely. You were sure that if you told her the news before you did to Seb, she wouldn’t say anything, at least not right away. You wanted to do it; in fact, you’d love to do it because she was like a second mother to you, but you knew you couldn't because, once you left, there’s a really high chance she might end up telling him everything in a moment of weakness.

"Yes, yes, I’m fine. It’s nothing serious, don’t worry," you replied with a sigh, trying to console the PR woman and yourself. "I just need to talk to him about… well, a minor issue."

"Of course. Go get him, I’ll wait here. He’s probably talking to Rocky or Horner about who knows what. He hasn’t gone far, especially considering how eager he was to see you."

"Can you get him for me?" you let it out casually.

You ignored her last comment because now, your nerves were eating you alive. Britta seemed to notice your anxiety, so you were grateful she ignored it and acted as if nothing is wrong.

You sighed in relief when you saw her nod, and you couldn't stop thanking her out loud for what she just did for you.

"Lie down on the physio’s couch and try to rest a bit, you look a bit pale," she insisted. Reluctantly, and after repeating it a couple more times, you finally listened to her. "Seb will be here soon. You know he’ll drop everything when it comes to you."

And it was true. Once she left, you remained lying down, drawing small shapes on your stomach with your index finger. As you whispered things to what would supposedly be your child, a whirlwind of varied thoughts flooded your mind.

A small pressure settled in your chest as you became aware that the idea of breaking up with Sebastian was becoming a reality. You didn't want to face it and largely refused to, but you knew that for both of you, especially him, it was actually the best.

Hiding the truth from the guy you’d loved longer than you’d like to admit is exactly the opposite of what you should do, but because he was the most important person in your life, and you knew him almost as well as yourself, you knew he'd have time to play moms and dads in real life.

This year, the only thing he should focus on was winning his fourth Formula 1 World Championship, not learning how to change diapers or feed a baby.

Your thoughts vanished when the door opened abruptly, startling you. Seb appeared with his suit hanging at his waist, hair completely tousled, and a face revealing worry matching the situation you haven’t told him about yet.

"Sunshine! Britta told me you’re not well. What happened? Do you want to go to the doctor? I don’t care about missing the free practice: you’re the most important thing."

The German quickly took your cheeks in his hands. You hadn’t even sat up, and he was already trying to warm your face with his palms, moving it from side to side and examining you as if he was a doctor with the solution to your problems.

"I’m fine, love, relax," you said, breaking free from his grip.

"I know you better than I’d like, Y/N. You’re pale," he pointed out. "You rarely get pale. The last time I saw you like this was when the police chased us after they caught you doing an illegal concert in the school square."

Your anxiety grew more at his perception. You couldn't hide the lie you concocted with Hanna for much longer.

"Seb, really, I’m fine," you insisted, swallowing hard as you tried to find the right words.

He didn't seem to agree with your answer once again, and he didn't seem willing to let it go easily.

For a moment, you were tempted to tell him the truth, especially when you noticed his eyes fixed on you, not intending to look away until he found out what you really wanted to say… As if he wants to know that he was going to be a father next January if your gynecologist’s calculations and the latest technology were correct.

You mustered the courage to look him in the eyes. His concern overwhelmed you completely. When he made a move to hug you and you fell into his arms, you knew you couldn't keep dodging the truth.

"Seb…" you started to say, slowly pulling away from him, "the truth is that... well, there's something wrong."

He clenched his jaw and got very serious.

"Tell me, Y/N. Whatever it is, you know you can tell me."

"I know, love. I want to tell you everything, but…" you began calmly, your voice breaking. "This is different, and it’s going to be a bit difficult."

"What do you mean by different and difficult? Y/N, what’s going on?"

Your hands fidgeted nervously as you tried to find the best way to cause him the least harm possible. You noticed that the German's nervous and worried tone had dissipated, and now it was anger that seemed to be consuming him.

"I want to tell you, but I don’t know how to do it without hurting you," you admitted in a whisper.

There it was, you had let it slip.

You didn’t know what else to say, so you decided to wait for Sebastian’s response. Anguish had taken hold of him, and you knew he was waiting for your words as much as you were waiting for his.

His behavior wasn’t helping you; on the contrary, the feeling of guilt was consuming you, as you had foreseen, but there was no turning back now.

It was impossible for you to even think coherently enough to say something that made sense.

You watched as your boyfriend’s gaze turned into pure pain, a pleading search for answers that you didn’t dare to give him.

"Seb…" you spoke again, struggling to maintain your composure and reaching for his hand at the same time. "I need you to listen to me, please."

"I just want you to tell me the truth, Y/N," he called you by your full name. That was the indicator that things weren’t going well and wouldn’t be again. "Whatever it is, I’ll be able to deal with it."

"I don’t want us to be together anymore," you declared. "I’m not in love with you anymore. I haven’t been for about a month or so."

The silence that flooded the room after your false confession was too uncomfortable. His eyes filled with tears; yours did too, but for a different reason than his.

He thought you had stopped loving him when, in fact, you loved him more than ever, especially now.

"Why are you telling me this? Why, Y/N?" he wanted to know. "I thought we were great… I really believed we were better than ever."

"I don’t know, Seb," you murmured between sobs, trying to hide your face so he wouldn’t see how truly affected you were. "There are… there are couples that stop loving each other, and that’s what I think has happened with me. With us."

"What can I do to make you fall in love with me again? I can’t lose you. I can’t lose the sunshine of my life, not when we promised each other a life together."

"You can’t do anything, Seb, and I’m really sorry," you falsely admitted with sadness, trying not to succumb to his desperate plea.

"Sometimes things stop being what they were in the beginning, and, well… ours is no longer what it used to be."

"Of course, it’s not what it used to be! Everything was getting better until you decided to drop this on me, Y/N!" Sebastian yelled at you.

"I was even going to ask you if you wanted us to get…"

"And that’s why I feel it’s better if we move on, but each on our own path!" you interrupted with another shout.

It’s not real, Y/N. Everything you’re saying is a lie.

You inhaled and exhaled more times than you would have liked, but it felt necessary. This charade to try to make Seb’s life a little better was not only costing you your relationship but also your mental health in the long run.

"Is there someone else, Y/N?"

Vettel's voice denoted anger. Rage consumed him at the possibility that there was an answer he didn’t want to hear. His fists, clenched tightly and turning his knuckles white, were proof of it.

"No, not exactly."

And once again, the camouflaged truth.

"What are you saying?" he spat at you, getting closer and closer, consumed by anguish.

"I mean not exactly, but… yes. There is someone else, Seb," you admitted.

The shouts, full of reproaches, insults, and slurs, flooded the room.

You tried to turn a deaf ear. You thought this was all part of a performance and tried to convince yourself that in the future, everything would be fine when you knew it would be the opposite.

"How could you do this to me, Y/N?! How could you cheat on me after almost seven fucking years together?!" Sebastian shouted, taking out his anger on a vase on his desk, throwing it to the ground, spilling the water and the flowers he had given you just a day ago.

"We’ve been through so many things together. We’ve grown up together and fulfilled our dreams together, and now you’re leaving me for some guy you must have slept with on a whim?!"

"Do you think this is easy for me, Sebastian?" you replied, your words true for once. "Stop lying, okay? The only person who has fulfilled their dreams here is you," you said, showing your disagreement on that topic that you knew hurt you and that he had mentioned to hurt you. "While you’ve been living your life as a driver and being the center of attention, I’ve kept working in the same disgusting bar full of creepy old men I’ve been working at since I finished high school," you shouted, furious. You knew this kind of stress wasn’t good for the baby, but right now you didn’t care. "I’ve been saving as much as I could to build a prosperous future even though my salary was a pittance, composing songs and singing them with the hope that they’ll reach someone someday and not be forgotten."

"I’ve told you a million times that you don’t need to work in that fucking bar full of drunk old men who fuck you with their eyes to have a good life," he protested, now much calmer. "With what they pay me we can live comfortably. It's more than enough for both of us."

"I know," you responded calmly, though you were on the verge of an anxiety attack, "but I also know that I can achieve things on my own without anyone’s help."

The blonde let out an ironic laugh. Immediately, he crossed his arms, lifted his head, and looked at you.

"You’ve always been too stubborn, Y/N. Now I see what your future expectations are. After all, I understand: if you never got into the Berlin Art Academy on your own, and you’re still working at the same place after so long…"

You stood still, not knowing what to say or do because you knew exactly what he meant with every word that came out of his mouth. It felt like your feet were cemented to the ground; his words continuously hitting you, wanting to hurt you more and more.

"How dare you to say that to me?"

If you were already shaken and almost broken after this whole conversation, now you were completely sunk. Seeing your reaction, tears streaming down your cheeks non-stop, he seemed to regret it.

Quickly, he approached you, opening his arms intending for you to bury yourself in them. You, as stubborn as he said you were, refused not only the hug but any physical and non-physical contact he wanted to have with you.

"Y/N, I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to say that," yes, that was clear, but it had already been said, and the damage was done. "I was wrong. Please forgive me."

No matter how much he kept talking, trying to apologize and make amends, there was nothing else to do.

Without saying anything else, you began to gather all your belongings from the driver’s room of who could now be considered your ex-boyfriend. You didn’t want to do it; you didn’t want to start the zero-contact phase with the boy you had loved since you were ten years old, the one who had loved you like no one ever had before and like no one ever would.

You were saying goodbye to the father of your child to venture into raising her alone so he could pursue his dream in peace and achieve all the successes he so longed for.

“What are you doing, Y/N?”

“Packing. I’m leaving.”

Your eyes were fixed on the floor, your hands fumbling with the few belongings left to pack in the small backpack you usually took to the paddock. Now, you would have to return to your hotel room and quickly pack everything into the suitcase, rush to the airport, and pray you didn’t miss the flight.

“What do you mean, you’re leaving?” the blonde frowned, incredulous. “It’s Friday, Y/N, we have the whole weekend ahead of us.”

“Well, from now on, you’ll have all the weekends to yourself,” you shook your head, unable to bear his comments trying to make you stay. “From now on, you won’t have me here on weekends, nor in your life. I’m leaving your life, and I’m not coming back,” you repeated, emphasizing the finality of your words.

Vettel was speechless at your declaration. He kept shaking his head, approaching you, trying to take your belongings, but you stopped him.

No matter how much you wanted to, you weren’t going to stay.

“What do you mean by ‘leaving my life and not coming back’?”

“It means I’m going back to Heppenheim, Sebastian,” you turned to him, trying to maintain composure. “I’m going back, you’ll also end up going back even though we live… you live in Switzerland,” you immediately corrected yourself, “but I hope we never see each other again.”

The firmness behind your words scared you. Everything was a lie that, as the conversation progressed, had grown until you doubted what was real and what wasn’t.

“I really hope you achieve everything you are working hard for,” you continued, insisting to yourself not to break down right there. “I hope you win the championship this year and get the four consecutive ones you’ve wanted for. You, more than anyone, deserve all of it, and I know you’re capable of that and much more.”

You said nothing more because you had stopped being strong. You left, without looking back, the room where you had spent much more time than imaginable, and one of the many places that made up the story starring Sebastian Vettel and you.

You carefully descended the stairs. You walked with a false sense of security through the RedBull garage, dodging any questions about why you were crying, where you were going, and if you had argued with the team’s golden boy, including the endless questions from Britta Roeske that you were trying to ignore at all costs.

You felt curious eyes following you wherever you went, but you didn’t care in the slightest. It was all done.

Now, it was just you and the little pea, or whatever size the baby was.

“Y/N, wait!”

Sebastian’s desperate shouts echoed behind you, getting closer.

You stopped dead, clutching the only strap of the backpack hanging over your shoulder. You slowly turned toward the direction the voices seemed to be coming from and saw the driver running to you, almost choking, as he wiped tears from his cheeks and even those still falling from his eyes.

“I love you, Y/N.”

His voice was choked, and his hands acted on their own. Still, it didn’t stop him from taking your face in his hands and pulling you into a kiss that unleashed a whirlwind of emotions, where you tasted each other’s tears as you had done many times in your relationship. Where you silently said millions of I love yous that only you and he knew perfectly.

“Please, don’t go, sunshine,” the German expressed. “Whatever it is, we can work on it, but please, don’t let us end.”

“I love you too, Seb, but there’s someone else.”

You finally confessed… not in the most ideal way, but in the right one, especially considering what your goal was after all this trail of lies.

“There’s a new person in my life, and I’m afraid to say that no matter how much I love you, I love them more than I love you, and I always will,” you continued, knowing that every word you were saying about your baby was true. “I love you, Sebastian Vettel, and I’ll never stop loving you, but that person is my main priority right now.”

“Have you been unfaithful?”

Sometimes silence is worth more than a thousand words. In this case, it was the exact opposite.

You stood in front of him for a few seconds, debating internally whether to answer or leave as calmly as possible, without attracting more attention than you already had. You decided on the latter because you couldn’t speak, and the tears wouldn’t let you see clearly; not to mention your judgment was so clouded that you couldn’t think clearly about the next step to end this nightmare.

You finally directed one last look at Seb; whispered that you loved him and always would, even though it was over between you.

All it took was for you to lower your head, turn around, and continue walking, fighting not to look back, to realize that you had made the biggest mistake of your life and would never, for anything in the world, be able to forgive yourself.

And you knew perfectly well that Seb wouldn’t either.

[kingofbodyrolls]

Friendcation (m) | myg | series masterlist

Going camping with your best friends seemed like a brilliant idea when you initially made the plans. But when you harbor secret feelings for one of them, what will become of you being close confined for three months? Trouble, that’s what.

→ Pairing: Yoongi x reader (female, “Y/N”) → Other characters: Jimin, Jungkook, Taehyung, Namjoon, Hoseok and Seokjin. → Trope: friends to best friends with benefits to lovers (they be messy and confused, lol) → AUs: non idol!au, camping!au, roadtrip!au, mechanic!au (Yoongi is a mechanic) → Genre: humor, (slight) angst, smut and fluff → Rating: mature/explicit/R18 (This is mature/explicit content, so minors, please do not interact.) → Word count: 131.6K (things got out of hand, lol and it's mainly smut 💀) → Disclaimer: I do not own BTS or know them personally and this work of fiction is purely fictional and for entertainment purposes only. The actions and personalities described in the story do not reflect those of BTS— it’s just fiction. Also, if you would kindly read the tags/warnings before reading, that would be lovely: and if you don’t like whatever is described in the tags, just hit return and find something else to read. Thank you 🌸 → Warnings/tags: will be tagged for each individual chapter. But it does contain smut, almost in every chapter (not the first though). → Taglist: Closed. → Status: Completed! (I'm still doing some extras for it now and then)

🍃 Chapter 1 Summary: As exhaustion and stress threaten to consume you and your friends at work, Yoongi comes to the rescue with an enticing proposal: a collective vacation—a friendcation. Amid the backdrop of breathtaking landscapes and shared adventures, your feelings for him only deepens more. Yet, his lingering gaze holds secrets you can't ignore, leaving you to wonder if it conceals something deeper—an unspoken connection that may forever alter your friendship. Word count: 11,9K | Read → chapter one 🍃Chapter 2 Summary: When you get a flat tire, you think it’s bad luck, but when you fall flat on your ass and Yoongi offers to massage the pain away, has your luck finally turned? 😜 Word count: 12.7K | Read → chapter two 🍃Chapter 3 Summary: When you and Yoongi visit his family in Daegu, and he introduces you as his friend, it rubs you all kind of wrong. But what are you even to each other, other than best friends with benefits? Word count: 11.9K | Read → chapter three 🍃Chapter 4 Summary: It’s the last weeks of the vacation being just you and Yoongi, and you’re going to savor every last bit of it. You do some hiking, relaxing and discover new sides to yourself that you didn’t know existed. Word count: 17.7K | Read → chapter four 🍃Chapter 5 Summary: Namjoon, Hoseok and Seokjin have finally joined you on your trip and it’s going great; you have a tremendous amount of fun (some at your expense), laughter and talks about life. Namjoon suddenly asks you where you think this thing with Yoongi is heading, and to be honest you don’t really know yourself – you just know that you love him. Word count: 23K | Read → chapter five 🍃Chapter 6 Summary: Your vacation is coming to an end but your thoughts are spiraling and filled with anxiety as a tiny mishap makes you question your future with Yoongi. Word count: 11.3K | Read → chapter six 🍃Chapter 7 [finale] Summary: Melancholy shrouds you and Yoongi in your last days of vacation – time to get back home to the daily grind. But when you can visit Yoongi in his garage, is it really so bad? Word count: 11.3K | Read → chapter seven

🍃Extras🍃

🍃Wedding special Summary: Yoongi has done everything in his power to make your wedding truly special, what he couldn’t plan for was the rain. But fret not, a bit of rain will not make your day less special when it’s surrounded by friends and family. And your wedding night? Well, being pushed down into the sheets by Yoongi is easily one of your favorite things. Word count: 12.2k | Read → the wedding special

🍃Honeymoon special Summary: You and Yoongi travel to Scandinavia for your honeymoon, well more like babymoon. You camp, fish, hike and enjoy nature as you always do, and you even go surfing! Word count: 8.7k | Read → the honeymoon special

🍃Pregnancy special Summary: You and Yoongi try to get pregnant, but it doesn’t go as planned, as the road isn’t easy. But he’s your rock, and he’ll stand with you through thick and thin 💜 Word count: 7.5k | Read → the pregnancy special

🍃Winter special Summary: You’re in labor and live outside of the city, and it just happens to be Christmas time, there’s a lot of snow. Will you and Yoongi be able to make it to the hospital before your baby arrives? OR– The one where Yoongi fucks you into labor and crashes the car. Word count: 10.3k | Read → the winter special

🍃Baby special Summary: Yoongi spends time with your daughter. Word count: 3.5k | Read → the baby special

→ Author’s note: Thank you so much for reading! 🌸 I appreciate every like, comment and reblog, and please don’t be afraid to let me know what you think;  your kind words makes me extremely happy 💜

[softboo]

love me, ever so gently - part IV

pairing: austin x reader

summary: you recently moved to a new apartment, making some new eccentric friends along the way. but what you didn't expect was falling in love with a stranger. a stranger you somehow couldn't stop thinking about

words: 4.8k

warnings: depictions of alcohol, certain scenes that pertain to dark themes of domestic abuse in relationships, *minors please don't interact*

author's note: hiii here is the next part of the story... i genuinely have no words to describe how grateful i am that there are people out there who have fallen in love with this story as much as i have. i'm still debating whether or not i'll write more just because i still want to live in this world lol. but thank you so much for all your support. it really means a lot to me and i am forever grateful :3 hope you enjoy <3

previous part

part IV

you groaned as you woke up, yet again, to a blaring headache and the door being pounded on. and you couldn't figure out which one was coming from where. you slowly eased yourself up out of bed, which made you feel even worse, shuffling yourself along for a million years before you answered the door.

"wow... you look like you got hit by a bus again."

george's voice rang in your ears. you could've sworn you had your eyes open, but it felt like they were closed. you tried to glare at him, but everything in your face felt numb. cassandra and evelyn caught up with him and both exchanged a look of concern.

"george, i think we need to talk to her alone."

he glanced over at cassandra and then back to you, the joy in his eyes disappearing for a brief moment. he just nodded in response, obliging without fighting them. you suddenly felt this wave of emptiness as you saw him walk away, whispering to cassandra before leaving.

and a part of you wished you never heard it, but you did.

"get our favorite girl back. i don't see her anymore."

~ ~

the silence hung low between the three of you, as you swirled your spoon meaninglessly in the mug. you glanced down at yourself, feeling as if you've sat here before in this exact situation just a few days ago. but then again, when have they not tried to get you out of your apartment.

"my love, i think it's time for you to move on." cassandra began, her soothing tone compensating for the bluntness of her statement. you just aimlessly nodded to her request, which was something she grew familiar with after the third or fourth day.

your empty promises were piling up and it was only a matter of time before it actually had to have meaning behind it.

"come with us tonight to the movies," evelyn suggested, offering her hand for you to take. "it'll be a great way for you to get your mind off of him."

your heart sunk even deeper when they mentioned him again, that night flooding your thoughts as you were reminded of what was going to happen tomorrow. it was inevitable.

she was inevitable.

"please love, you need to get out of this apartment. you can't just stay here and wait until they come back."

you scoffed at such a thought, thinking of what a sight that would be seeing them come back together from the airport, pretending you were preoccupied with anything else that wasn't him.

evelyn's hand still laid on the table, waiting patiently for you to reconsider the option of coming. of just going with them for once instead of drowning yourself in another day of being alone.

you hesitated for a moment, glancing at cassandra and then to evelyn. the thought of him being reunited with her made your heart sting, but you knew being physically here when they did arrive would ultimately make you feel even worse.

so you took everything in yourself to consider the possibility of actually being okay again.

and you slowly let your hand fall into hers and gave the smallest smile in the world.

"okay. i'll go."

~ ~

"are you ready sweetie?" cassandra called back to you, as the three of them waited outside of your apartment.

you checked your reflection once more, letting your hair flow freely and naturally down to frame your face. and a maroon dress that cassandra and evelyn insisted that you wear.

and for the first time in weeks, you felt beautiful, elegant, and untouchable. like all those days of being alone and rumminating on your feelings dissipated into nothingness behind you.

like heartbreak anniversaries were no longer written on your calendar.

you stepped into some heels before meeting them at the door, blushing immensely as they looked at you.

"there's our favorite girl."

george's voice broke a little as he dramatically wiped his eyes for tears that weren't there yet. cassandra walked towards you, her hands taking yours as she gently caressed your cheek and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

"you look lovely sweetie," her voice giving you a familiar comfort to your heart.

"so do you," you smiled back as you all gazed at everyone's attire.

george insisted on wearing something formal, wanting to make your little outing a special occasion. according to him, it was a great excuse to wear his suit again. and according to cassandra, it was the only suit he owned, which was from their wedding day.

"alright you old folks, let's go!" george bellowed, letting out that same laugh from when you met him for the first time. cassandra smacked him in the arm before he responded with a sweet kiss on her cheek. evelyn offered her arm for you to hold as you all went downstairs.

and you didn't even look at his apartment.

~ ~

"you have everything right?" cassandra asked george, who was very insistant on being responsible for the tickets. the showing was for one of their favorite old hollywood movies, you weren't sure which, but you were as excited as them to see it.

when you all entered the old theater, the employees shot you a complete and utter face of confusion as you all roared into the empty area wearing the most elegant attire. not many people knew of the showing, which was why the entire theater was relatively empty.

as you all settled into your seats, a sudden wave of calmness came over you as it started to sink in that you weren't there to just forget about him. you were there to spend time with your friends as well. their voices echoed in such a big theatre, not even minding the few stares and looks they got from some of the people there.

"george you're stepping on me again."

"can you pass the popcorn please? no, i want the whole bucket."

"evelyn, i can't see anything. what are you pointing at?"

it wasn't long until the lights completely disappeared and you were swallowed by the darkness that surrounded you in the theater, all of you eager and excited for the film to begin.

that calmness and comfort slowly took over and you suddenly felt at ease with being there, with your friends, and the world you were going to enter inside that movie theater.

~ ~

"goodnight everyone!" you echoed from the top of the staircase. you vaguely heard a reply from evelyn who was on the second floor as the other two were already calling it early. you waved frantically at evelyn from the bottom, who mimicked that same overdramatic wave from the movie. you couldn't help but laugh.

"go to bed already! i want to sleep!" she screamed back at you, flashing a smile at your little figure from above.

you gave her one final goodbye wave for the night, feeling like an entirely new person after spending time with them. you couldn't even stop smiling as you replayed the little remarks all of you made after the movie ended. the way evelyn was so certain of her theory, while george laughed at how the romance didn't make any sense. and cassandra, she fell in love with the film as much as you did.

as you stopped at your floor, your heart dropped from your chest.

austin was there, sitting outside his door like he'd forgotten something. his hair looked disheveled, the blonde messiness matching his loose tie and unbuttoned dress shirt. it was the first time you'd seen him since that night, the memories drowning you in an endless sea.

"hey, are you okay?"

he looked up to find who spoke and you saw those oceans come alive once more, like a second home to your heart. his expression was as shocked and confused as yours, his eyebrows furrowed to try to make sense of you actually being there. after so many days of avoiding him, he had the right to contemplate if your existence was even real to him.

"yeah, i'm okay."

there was an emptiness there and something pulling at your heart. you didn't believe him.

"can i join you?"

"of course," and he moved over for you to sit next to him on the floor. his doormat being a cushion you were both sharing.

"you look nice... did you go somewhere?"

his low tone still sent ocean waves through your body, like he was inviting you all over again. something you convinced yourself for days that you never needed, but somehow he still had a hold on your heart. and you melted right into his hands.

"oh, thank you," your voice merely a whisper in the air, "i came back from the movie theater."

austin looked at you amused, a small smile forming.

"you wore a formal dress to the movies?"

you nodded, "yeah, because i wasn't feeling like myself for the past few days."

it was like you struck a chord in him because he turned to look at you, wanting to figure out what was making you feel that way. but he didn't know how to ask.

"and how do you feel now?"

"better."

something in the way you held yourself in that regard, knowing when to pick yourself back up. he admired that about you, wishing he could maybe do the same.

there was a shared silence between you both before he spoke again.

"do you remember that night... in your apartment?"

you felt everything inside you go numb as he mentioned it. because no matter how long you tried to forget that it happened, he remembered for you.

"yes..."

he let out a soft sigh, as you noticed the way he tensed up a bit. stiffening his stature and playing with the cloth of his dress shirt.

"did you really mean what you said? about my girlfriend..."

you closed your eyes at his statement, the way she still lingered between you two. you mustered up that same strength from before, a lie you repeated to yourself because he wasn't yours to begin with.

"yes, i meant it. she's lucky to have someone like you in her life."

something about you saying it again didn't seem to convince him at all.

"you say that but i don't feel lucky."

you turned to him, looking at his prominent expression of utter defeat. like he'd given up on something. you could see the oceans drying out in his eyes.

"what do you mean?"

and it was like he felt his bruises again, clutching his torso like he was protecting himself. he couldn't look at you.

"austin?"

you saw him soften a bit when he heard your voice, letting it sink in that he was here with you and not her.

you hesitated for a moment, knowing fully well you were going to overstep a boundary and meet him at the bottom of the ocean.

"does she hurt you?"

you felt your heart speed up in anticipation for his answer. he met your gaze for a split second before both of you turned to the elevator, hearing its normal ding.

and out came the last person you wanted to see.

his girlfriend walked out with her long dark red hair flowing effortlessly behind her. she was carrying her bags and screamed when she saw him.

"austin my love!! surprise!! i came back early!!"

a squeal that stung at your ears as she dropped her bags and flung herself into him, ultimately pushing you to the side. she eagerly covered him in messy kisses, like she was marking territory.

like she was marking property.

when she finally let go and austin gave her a weak smile, she eyed you with a suspicious look on her face. that somehow you offended her by merely your presence.

"i didn't realize there was help working late at night."

you clenched your jaw at her sudden assumption of your position. a fire igniting once more inside your chest and you wanted her to walk right through it.

"she's not an employee." austin stated firmly, his face tightening at her insult.

your eyes widened at him and how he held his ground when defending you.

"she's my—"

"well love, whatever she is, she has no purpose in staying here with you. let alone, no reason to be in your life."

she flashed you that creepy little grin that stretched too far on her face, pulling austin closer to her, tightening her grip thinking if she ever gave him a chance to breathe, he'd escape.

"not sure where you belong sweetie, but it's definitely not here."

she purposely shoved you to the side, dragging austin along with her. soon enough, she slammed the door on your face like last time.

and all that was left were her forgotten bags in the hallway, the blinding rage boiling inside of your heart, and the fire that lingered near the ocean.

~ ~

you stared at your ceiling, thoughts racing in your head of what you could've done. what else could you have said. you glanced over at your clock, sighing in disappointment as the numbers barely changed. it was exactly eleven minutes since you last checked, now reading a dreadful 2:16am.

you hated this feeling, of wanting to do something but not being able to. of wanting to save him from something that you knew he had to save himself from. cassandra's words from before rang right in your ears again:

are you doing this because you care about him or because you like him?

did there really have to be a difference?

you felt so frustrated that somehow after two weeks, he still had a space in your heart. no matter how many times you let the alcohol numb you sometimes or how many times you stayed in your apartment watching reruns of your favorite movies and shows.

it all ended the same. your heart was screaming at you for it.

and yet, just when you finally had a chance to drift off into sleep, you heard a noise.

you sat up quickly, facing where the sound came from. you glanced down at the clock, which barely moved, now reading 2:20am. you slowly lowered yourself back to bed dismissing the sound until it repeated again, multiple times.

it was a knock, faint but you knew what you heard.

you slowly got up from your bed, walking slowly to the main door, hearing that faint noise again. there was an occasional loud sound, but the smaller ones were more consistent.

as you slowly approached the door, it was like the stranger on the other side heard your footsteps and for a moment, you heard the sudden weight of something leaning on the door. you froze, but soon enough you heard the faintest voice in the world.

"i don't know if you're awake... but if you are, it's austin."

your eyes widened when you heard his voice, quickly opening the door for him.

and you saw him, dressed entirely in black. his hoodie covering his face a bit and his sweats covered in something that you couldn't really see. his breath stopped for a moment as he saw you, his entire body suddenly relaxing into you. his head falling on your shoulder as if his body was about to give out, his face nuzzling right at your neck.

and you felt this overwhelming wave of warmness hit you, not being able to hide the blush that appeared on your cheeks.

"i... i didn't know where else to go..."

your breath hitched at the realization. at the worst possible scenario. because everything you were thinking about was true. because it happened. and he was all the proof you needed.

you quickly shut the door behind you as he leaned right up against you. you wanted to be so careful with him, being in such a fragile state. you thought about putting him in your bed, but he couldn't hold himself up much longer and soon enough, he collapsed onto the floor leaning up against the door.

"i'm so sorry for..."

"you don't have to be sorry for anything austin... really. i mean it."

he just nodded, wincing at the minimal movement he made with responding to you.

you sat with him, gently taking his hood off from his face and bracing yourself to see what he had to endure before seeing you.

and you felt the tears come as you saw what was left of him.

his eyes were swollen, bruised. he had cuts all over his face that somehow went down his neck. there were more bruises down his arms and a decent amount of blood coming from each and every little scar that decorated his body.

but what made you feel even worse was the lack of water in his eyes. there were no longer raging oceans swimming with life or the blueness that covered the endless body of water. it was empty. dry. like a desert.

and yet, when he saw you looking at him, truly looking at his scars and still trying to find the beauty in him, he couldn't help but give you the smallest smile in the world. he noticed your eyes water and gently grazed his thumb on your cheek to wipe it away.

"don't cry... i'm going to be okay, i promise."

you wanted to hate him, that somehow even when he's the one holding all these bruises and scars, he still had the strength to comfort you.

but you couldn't hate him. not one little sliver of anything inside of you could hate him.

~ ~

austin woke up slowly, his head pounding in his ears as he rubbed against his temple. he had to blink a few times to realize that he wasn't in his own apartment at all. and somehow he fell asleep on the floor. he tried to get up, but noticed a shadow of someone next to him. and it was you.

and the moment he saw you, everything from last night came rushing through him. the stumbling into your apartment, the way you complimented his cologne, you kicking him out from trying to help you change, and the last thing you said to him before he drifted off to sleep.

"your girlfriend is so unbelievably lucky to have you."

it was something that should've initially made him feel grateful because it was true... wasn't it? so then why did it feel like his chest was suffocating on air?

the memories and the alcohol were mixing together, he couldn't make sense of his emotions. what all of this meant to him.

but what he did know was how much you meant to him. he just couldn't decide where you stood in his life yet.

he found it quite amusing that you wanted him to leave, that you were very adament that he couldn't sleep here. and yet, you collapsed right beside him on the floor.

he checked his phone briefly, a bright 4:32am appeared on the screen. he knew he couldn't stay here, but he also knew it would be rude to leave you on the floor.

and so, he gently crouched down next to you and tucked his arms right under you, lifting you up. making sure your head was leaning on his chest, he slowly walked towards your bed and laid you there under the blankets.

he looked at you for a moment before leaving, letting it sink in that you might not even remember where you fell asleep.

and a part of him hurt when the thought crossed his mind.

~ ~

"george... can i ask you something?" austin began as they finished packing up evelyn's cooking supplies from her latest class. george beamed at him, leaning against the boxes on the counter, waiting patiently for him to continue.

"of course elvis my boy! you can ask me anything!"

he hesitated before speaking, thinking it was too invasive to ask, but he had to know if what he was feeling was normal.

or if he was genuinely crazy.

"how did you know... you wanted to marry cassandra?"

george stared at him, his eyebrows furrowing to a point. the question took him off guard, something he never quite expected from austin, but he couldn't help smiling at the thought of his wife and how they first met.

"well..." his voice drifted to piece together all the right words, "i knew i wanted to be with her for the rest of my life when she took me as i am."

george's loudness became merely a softness when he spoke about cassandra and austin could feel that sense of love radiating off of his friend. george began animating his life with her, the way she always seemed to be there whenever he spoke about his passions, and how cassandra fully accepted him as himself.

"usually, people say they drift apart during a marriage because their partner changed. but for me, i just wanted to be there through every changing moment."

george gave him a warm smile, as his words weighed heavy in austin. he lingered on the thought, the possibility of fully letting himself dive into those waters. letting his heart sink into something completely unfamiliar, knowing somehow, somewhere, you would be there sitting with him right at the bottom.

willingly. voluntarily.

along with something else he wasn't ready to face yet, nor was his heart ready to resurface among calm waters.

"thank you..." austin drifted, his voice shrinking smaller and smaller as it disappeared into the walls of the kitchen. it wasn't long until he pulled george into a warm hug, fully appreciating the story his friend shared.

"anything for my boy, you know that."

george's voice slightly broke, feeling as if austin wasn't being fully honest with him or to himself rather. like there was something else hidden under those waters.

it wasn't long until george broke the kind gesture, holding austin firm right on the shoulders, a reminder of his strength. that there was something in austin that he wasn't yet ready to face.

"you're still going to the movies with us right?"

austin blanked at his question, scrambling for the words to answer. he wasn't sure if he should, but he knew that this was his only chance to see you before she came back into his life tomorrow.

that there was a sliver of a possibility that you would be sitting next to him again.

he let out a soft sigh and smiled.

"of course i am."

~ ~

she pulled austin, hard, her face burning with a fire that dried out the oceans in his eyes.

"and you had the nerve to make plans on the day i was coming back."

"i didn't ask for you to come early."

her emotions were boiling over now as she pushed him against the door, her face contorting into a scowl.

"and what does she even have that i don't? what's wrong with me then?"

she paced around the kitchen now, grabbing whatever glass container they had and throwing it on the ground. each one breaking into tiny little pieces.

and all austin could do was stand near the door and take it.

"tell me what's wrong with me then austin. TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG."

her screams echoed across their apartment, drowning him in an endless noise. he clenched his jaw as he mustered enough energy to say something back. because anything would be better than nothing.

"you never fell in love with me. you fell in love with my name."

she paused, her red hair messily laid behind her. her hand gripping the last few glasses they had left as she aimed it right at austin.

"your name? bullshit, i've been there through everything. you're MY everything. she's NOTHING."

"but you don't know anything about me."

and he knew he struck a chord when her eyes began to water. she screamed at him again, a high pitched screech that killed his ears. she threw something else at him, but it didn't matter. he wasn't looking anymore.

she approached him now, holding whatever else she could find to use against him.

"and what makes you say that austin?"

she scrambled to find anything as leverage to use against him, to show she still had power over him.

but she didn't.

"because you never chose me. and i will always choose her."

~ ~

you gently pressed the wet towel against his forehead, soaking up whatever was left of his scars. he closed his eyes to your touch, letting you take control of everything. your legs tangled into each other as you sat together on your bed.

there was something so natural with the way you took care of him, bandaging his wounds, and icing the bruises on his skin.

like you'd been doing this for years.

and he would let you do it forever if he could.

"austin?"

"yes?" his eyes fluttered open to your voice.

"you're not going back there with her right...?" your voice merely just a whisper, feeling as if your words were passing a boundary.

a boundary that you didn't know no longer existed.

he shook his head no, smiling weakly, still trying to remain strong in front of you.

"then stay with me."

your heart speaking faster than your mind could catch up and you panicked at the words. you were so preoccupied by how embarrassed you felt that you didn't notice how red austin had gotten as well.

"i mean... you can sleep on the bed and i can take the couch," you quickly corrected yourself and austin let out a small laugh. something you haven't heard in weeks.

"it's okay, i can take the couch. this is your apartment after all."

there was a calm silence between you two, as you slowly finished placing the last bandage on, pressing the adhesive gently on his skin. and as you leaned back to fully look at him, you could still see the marks that she left behind on him, even when you tried to cover it.

she still lingered in the air between you.

and because of that, your eyes began to water again.

austin quickly reacted, seeing the way you moved away from him. like you were afraid to break him.

"what's wrong?" his voice wavering as you searched through everything to find the right things to say. to find anything to say.

"i just... i don't understand people who hurt people, especially when it's someone like you."

the way you reacted swelled something in his heart and all he could think about was finding a way to comfort you. to take your pain away.

and so, he pulled you towards him, where you were tangled up into each other again. pain shot down through his body at the effort, but he didn't care. he just wanted to ease your pain.

his hand reached your cheek, gently placing a strand of hair behind your ear. and he leaned in to take away the distance between you two, as his lips met yours.

and he kissed you.

the kiss was so soft, so comforting. and you melted right into him like your heart had always wanted to for all those months, since the first time you met him.

he pulled you closer to him, as if there was even a sliver of something keeping you two from being together. he held your face in his hands, easing himself into you gently.

he was so afraid to hurt you, but there was something about the way you explored him, the fragility of your touch against his skin. it felt so unfamiliar yet comforting to his heart.

and yet, it broke yours.

he let himself get lost in you, the warmness surrounding him as you caught every little drop of water from falling into the abyss at the bottom.

the way your fingertips grazed each and every little scar, every bruise, like you were reassuring him. acknowledging its presence but knowing, it would never define him.

you slowly let go, fully gazing into his eyes and seeing those oceans coming alive again, just by the way he was looking back at you. and you saw something that you only wished to see months ago.

love.

his fingers wiped the remaining tears from your cheeks as yours just traced little circles around his, ending right at his lips again. your bodies tangled into each other once more, as you played with his hair.

he closed his eyes again to your touch and you saw him smile.

and it was one of the most beautiful things you've ever seen.

he gently caressed your cheek, gazing at you like he was afraid to lose you. like he was afraid to forget you.

"stay with me... please."

his voice wavered, as if he doubted that your heart would ever let you leave him.

"always."

[whatyadrawin]

My next slasher x y/n fic is in the process of being created! This fic will be a head canon just like the others.

The slasher featured will be:

OUR BIG MURDER HUSBAND TOMMY

And the Y/N will be femme (anyone that has a puss n titties, let's be real idc what you were assigned at birth). The art will reflect a black female stand-in character like my Michael myers fic. It's going to be EIGHTEEN+ ONLY SO NO FUCKING KIDS, GTFOH THANKS.

I hope yall are excited!

I fuckin am.

~

Y/N gon be like this, I guarantee it bbgirl.

Update Nov 16th: I have a massive summary rough draft for the first few chapters already produced, I just need to start pumping them out into balanced chapters formally and then pop some art out for each chapter. It's in the works!. I'm also a bit nervous because this post has a lot of notes and now I feel pressure lol. The story is exciting and great so far though so I'm still very excited just deciding on a look for Tommy as I do for all my head canons.

ANOTHER UPDATE DEC 1:

I have completed the writing for chapters 1 to 4. I'm... I'm... I want to make this one a slower burn than usual, I'm really normal about the story and headcanon so far like please it's making me act like this as I write:

As if I really think I did something but I'm also like kicking my feet and giggling TEE HEE AND SUCH.

I can't wait to get the art started so I can push these out for yall. I hope you all catch some devious feels with this one because I'm really cooking here. I hope you like a thick and shy headcanon to make you bark bark.

FINAL UPDATE:

IT HAS BEGUN! HERE IS A LINK TO THE MASTERLIST

[ihaveforgortoomany]

More Great Gatsby parallels/ comparisons in Reverse 1999 speculation (spoilers for current global story chapters)

While the Great Gatsby isn't strictly named or mentioned in the game, more focus on Fitzgerald's other work Tender is the Night as the second chapter. As seen with the last line of the novel being used in the introduction of the game we can see parallels between characters in the game (Vertin and Schneider more notably) that potentially act as not only nods to the 1920s but further explore their characters.

I may make an analysis and comparisons to Tender is the Night once I read the book (at some point hopefully)

(Aka lemme put my mountains of essays on the Great Gatsby to use lol)

Vertin

It can be considered that Vertin shares some similarities to the characters Jay Gatsby and Nick Caraway (the Narrator).

Gatsby - He is characterised by his unrelenting pursuit of his dream ("the green light") of reclaiming the past through rekindling of his relationship with Daisy Buchanan. While of course Vertin arguably pursues to reclaim the future and the truth, its easy to see the unrelenting optimism and determinism both characters share.

Optimism most seen in younger Vertin in chapter 3, blind optimism and desire to see the outside world that leads to tragedy - the Breakaway Incident. This optimism is still here in current Vertin, now backed by the suitcase fam (we love found family here)

Nick - He is the narrator of the story, our eyes into the life and death of Gatsby and the people around him. He becomes the observer of the hedonism of the Jazz Age/ 1920s through Gatsby's parties, and just like a narrator is largely unable to stop the events that lead to tragedy.

Vertin as the Timekeeper and our protagonist fulfils this role in a sense: a role designed to record the eras and "spare no feelings" mirrors Nick's own desire to remain separate to others affairs, but inevitably becomes entangled in the narrative: while Vertin is instructed by the Foundation to just watch, Vertin still has desires to seek the truth "of her own will". Vertin becomes the observer unable prevent the deaths of others, the Breakaway Incident, the countless people who have been taken by the storm.

Schneider

This is Zelda Fitzgerald, wife of Scot Fitzgerald and whose deteriorating marriage and relationship is explored in the novel Tender is the Night.

You can probably see similarities in Schneider's appearance to her, reflecting the "Flapper movement" of the 1920s.

(While she is probably the main influence to Schneider, alongside the references to the Italian mafia and the Godfather, I need to read Tender is the Night for a closer analysis)

While I don't think Schneider has direct parallels to the character of Daisy Buchanan, comparisons can be drawn with how Gatsby viewed Daisy as the American Dream, the idea that anything is possible with enough hard work and struggle - all ultimately futile and doomed.

For Vertin, this is the belief and renewed hope in the suitcase granting shelter from the Storm, however as the end of Chapter Two has showed us Vertin is more akin to Noah and his Ark than a Messiah:

While the Messiah promises the salvation of all, Noah's Ark can only grant safety to the few.

Others

This description of FMN could also vaguely reference the intial impressions of Gatsby we get before met by partygoers in Chapter 3 of the novel. ("German Spy", "I heard he killed a man")

(I placed it here because this isn't very concrete)

Summary - Have an ark of oranges

[gracie7209]

Amaryllis Epilogue

Pairing: Frankie x f!Reader

Word Count: 1.8K

Warnings: Fluff, fluff, fluffy-fluff, reflection- (of more than one sort? I’m on one today. Don’t mind me lol), happiness, loved ones, we get to meet Reader’s momma! (Her English isn’t great so we will see her and Reader speaking Spanish) tiny sliver of angst? Lemme know if I forgot anything!

Summary: Just before your lives are set to change yet again, you and Frankie each get a moment alone to reflect on how life has brought you to where you are now. Santi saves the day yet again!

A/N: Guys…… This is it! We have officially officially reached the end of this story and I’m a whole mess of emotions. The has been such a labor of love and learning for me. It’s my very first fic and also the very first piece of writing I have ever shared with anyone. As previously mentioned, I have several new WIPs and I cannot WAIT to get to work on them! For everyone who has commented, liked, reblogged, asked questions or shown even the tiniest bit of love for my little story, I just want to thank you with everything I have. I have wanted to write since I was little, but could never put pen to paper until I forced myself to write a little 100 word Drabble, which literally turned into this series. The Pedro fandom alone has literally changed my life in so many ways and I will forever be grateful. So anyways....... Thank you all so much!!!!

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

When he sees himself in the mirror, Frankie is all nerves.

Checking and rechecking his hair, making sure his tie isn’t crooked… worrying the little patch in his scruffy beard that refuses to fill in.

His palms are sweating and his stomach is doing flips, but he’s unbelievably HAPPY.

He never thought he would be here. Never thought he would ever want to be doing this, but you had changed his way of thinking in more ways than one.

It had always terrified him to feel as though he were tied to something. Or so he thought…

In reality, he never felt he was worth enough for someone to ever want to be tied to him. The things he had done, the horrors he’d seen? The nightmares he still endured would run off anyone who might be even the slightest bit interested. Damaged…

Valid.

He was damaged. There was no way to come out from that other side and not be. But to those who weren’t there? Ones who could never understand what he’d been through? They would only pity him and he didn’t want that.

He just wanted understanding. Wanted someone to accept him as he was, without trying to fix him.

And then there was you. You never looked at him like he was damaged. You knew about things and yet you never held anything against him. You knew the atrocities he’d seen and those he had committed, yet you never backed away from him or looked down on him.

From the beginning, Frankie felt a connection to you. He didn’t know what you’d been through at the time, but there was an understanding there - “We’re not defined by our experiences Frankie,” you’d tell him.

“We simply learn from our mistakes, grow into better people, and if we are genuine, that’s all that really matters. —You yourself told me something similar at one time, remember?”

Frankie smirks at the memory. Shaking his head, as he gets back to the task at hand.

...

He doesn’t think he can tie it any better, so he takes one final look, takes a deep breath and smiles at himself in the oversized mirror. Just a small half smile, knowing that what he was about to do was going to change his life forever….

And he was ready.

—

It doesn’t start to sink in until about ten minutes beforehand that you are actually going to marry Frankie today. You’re in the small guest room, waiting for your mother to stop fussing over you already and to let you look in the mirror. “Mija, todo tiene que ser perfecta!” (Everything has to be perfect)

“Mamà, está bien... ¿puedo mirar ahora? Ya casi es hora de irse..." (It’s ok….. can I look now? It’s almost time to go…)” There’s no malice in your tone as your mouth turns up into a silly smile that you just can’t seem to hold back.

“Ah, si mi hermosa luz, creo que estes lista. Ven agora, and a y mira.”(Ah yes my beautiful light, I believe you are ready. Come now, go ahead and look.)

You stand up and slowly walk over to the full length mirror. The look on your face doesn’t at all match the sheer joy you feel in your chest. The initial shock wears off, but the weight of the moment hits you then; You’re marrying Frankie today. This incredible man who barreled his way into your life and decided he wanted to stay.

To see yourself in your mother’s wedding gown and jewelry, knowing that Frankie was waiting for you had your eyes welling up with tears. You silently prayed they stayed put as your mother had fussed with your makeup for a small eternity and Lord help you if you messed it up. So, you forced the tears back, albeit they were happy, joyous, singing to the choir tears that would surely fall once everything was said and done. You were more certain now in this choice, in Frankie, than at any other time in your life..

You gave yourself one final look in the mirror before turning back to your mother. Grabbing her small hands in yours and kissing her forehead, you silently thanked her for everything she had done for you; today and everyday.

“Ok Mija?”

“Si Mamà, Estoy lista.” (Yes, I’m ready.)

—

The ceremony was modest, with only close family and friends in attendance, but you were blessed beyond reason.

Those in attendance included your mother, who had brought along your Aunt and your two little cousins all the way from Cuba. You hadn’t seen her in ages, and this was the first time you’d gotten the chance to meet the little ones.

Frankie’s Mom and Step-Dad had flown in from Texas along with his older sister, which had been a surprise to the both of you, having never gotten to meet them prior. They welcomed you with nothing but warmth and love. Your previous apprehension at making a good impression, falling away the moment his mother wrapped you in her arms as she introduced herself.

She also took little to no time in latching onto your and soon-to-be Frankie’s son, her Grandson. Who she happily spoiled rotten from the get go and volunteered to be in charge of during the ceremony, giving your own mother a well deserved break as she had been deemed (by herself) as the primary babysitter.

And of course, Santi, Will and Benny were front and center. They would’ve all been groomsmen if you and Frankie had decided to have a wedding party. Instead you both opted for just a simple service. Santi would still supply the rings, but aside from the preacher, it would only be you and Frankie standing at the altar.

—

It was time.

You took a deep breath in, and let it out slowly as you turned the small corner to make your way to Frankie.

As you slowly made your way down the aisle, you didn’t expect to become breathless at the sight before you.

The expectation was that, the Bride-to-be would walk in and a hush would wash itself throughout the room. All eyes on her as she made her way to alter to join her fiancé.

You were sure your anxiety would rear its ugly head at being the center of attention, and had tried to give yourself a pep talk before walking inside. However, the moment you laid eyes on Frankie, you nearly stopped in your tracks.

You realized at that moment that you had never seen Frankie wear anything remotely resembling dress attire, let alone a suit and tie.

It was always jeans and a t-shirt, jacket when necessary and work boots… always work boots. He looked good on any given day and there had never been an occasion up until that point for him to “dress up.” But, you couldn’t take your eyes off of him…

His hair was still a disheveled mess of curls that you loved to run your fingers through. Not too long, but long enough that the ends would curl behind his ears. He just wouldn’t be Frankie without them, so you were grateful he didn’t try to tame them back. He was also wearing his glasses, which he had been trying to wear more and more these days as he couldn’t stand to wear his contacts after having gone without them for so long.

His tux was your normal coat and pants, but completely white, with a black bowtie and shoes with a shine that could blind a person if they got too close. You don’t think you have ever seen someone so beautiful in your life and he was yours.

You had managed to keep your pace steady all the way to the alter, even though you had half a mind to just run and get yourself there that much faster. Your mother was waiting up front to take your bouquet and give you over to the man you truly wanted to spend your life with. She kissed your cheek before turning to Frankie and offering him your hand. As he took it she wrapped both yours and Frankie’s hands in hers, saying she loved you both and giving a firm squeeze before letting you go and sitting back down at her seat in the front.

Frankie took both of your hands and whispered from under his messy bangs, “Are you ready?”

You couldn’t speak so you just nodded, trying not to cry before the preacher even had a chance to talk.

You tried to concentrate on the words being said, the prayer being read to the audience, but you could only focus on Frankie’s smile and his thumbs rubbing reassuring circles into your hands. You didn’t know why you were so nervous, but ultimately, it didn’t matter. Frankie was sure as stone and after you both repeated your vows and placed the rings on each others’ fingers, Frankie lifted your veil, seeing your lips quirk up into a smile and he kissed you. In front of all of the people who mattered to you the most in this world.

His kiss was equal parts strong and soft with his hand coming to your cheek while the other wrapped around your waist. You didn’t dip, but he held almost all of your weight as he put his entire life into that kiss. Letting you and everyone else know that you were it for him.

—

When you both came up for air, there was nothing but big smiles and happy tears from everyone around. Benny was hooping and hollering, and even Will had his hand to his mouth letting out a piercing whistle that echoed throughout the church. Santi was clapping along with the others, with an almost forlorn expression that seamlessly slipped back into a playful smile once Benny clapped him on the shoulder, joining in with everyone else in raining congratulations on the happy couple. Frankie took your hand and raised them both entwined up toward the sky as you walked back down the aisle, side by side, as husband and wife. The both of you more than ready to begin this new chapter in your lives.

Together.

—

—

Two hours earlier -

“Rings, rings…. Uh, shit!” Santi is looking around frantically, shuffling papers and patting down his pockets, seemingly having misplaced the rings he was in charge of.

“Haha, very funny pendejo…. Now’s really not the time to be fuckin’ around…” Frankie’s voice is playful, but when he looks over at Santi, he sees the panic starting to set in.

“Fuck man, seriously? You had one job… !” Frankie is pacing now alongside Santi as they both desperately search for the missing rings.

“Wait!! Wait, oh! Shit haha, we’re good, we’re good, man. We're fine, everything's fine... I just left them on the kitchen table after I grabbed the mail this morning. I only live like ten minutes away from here, I’ll be right back!”

“Jesus Pope! I about lost my goddamn ass over here man… Shit, just go grab them and come straight back, ok?”

“Alright, alright…. You need anything else while I’m out?”

“For fucks sake Pope! Just go!”

“Yep, yep on it!” At that, Santi runs out the door, leaving Frankie to his thoughts for the moment.

He sits down on the little couch in the sitting area and puts his head in his hands. He’s nervous and he wants this day to go perfectly, but he actually starts to laugh when he thinks about the circumstances.

All of this fuss over rings, when in reality, they were just a symbol. A token to show the world that you were his person, and he was yours. And even if Pope had lost them, it honestly wouldn’t change a thing. He was marrying you today, with or without a ring, and he could hardly wait.

—

It only takes Santi about eight minutes to get to his place. Possibly breaking a few speed limits to do so, but he did not want to be the cause of something ruining this day for either of you.

He goes inside and sees the ring boxes sitting right there on the table next to the untouched pile of mail. He lets out a deep breath, muttering under his breath, "Thank you, God!" Checking inside each box, making absolutely sure he had everything before putting them safely in his jacket pocket. Picking up the stack of mail, he quickly skims through it out of habit. Finding an envelope in the mix with only his name and address handwritten on the front with no return address.

He carefully opens it, revealing a small slip of folded paper. On the inside is a jumbled set of numbers and symbols…

Ones that he recognizes instantly—

—

—

Coordinates.

Coordinates to the money stolen out of the walls of Lorea’s house before it was burned to the ground. Money that was dumped in a ravine to get rid of extra weight that made flying too dangerous. Coordinates that only he, Will, and Benny knew about. Aside from one other person.

Tom.

Tom had found the money.

—

—

Taglist: @boliv-jenta @just-here-for-the-moment @quica-quica-quica @heythere-mel @sunnysidekit @dashavau @queridopascal @queridopascal-main @hnt-escape @rhoorl @readingiskeepingmegoing @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @bitchwitch1981 @jb2856 @mymo-n @littlemisspascal @tanzthompson @luciferiorbxtch @spookyxsam @imaswellkid @harriedandharassed @autumnleaves1991-blog @wildemaven @pastelnap @pimosworld @alwaysdjarin

A/N: Whoops!

*But seriously, from the bottom of my heart, thank you all for reading. It absolutely means the world to me 🥹

[typingcorgi]

unexpected (part ii of a three-part series)

gif by @joelmjller

read part i here

rating: e (minors, please shoo. you will be blocked) word count: 4k pairing: joel miller x f!reader warnings: teacher!reader, pre-outbreak timeline, canon divergent timeline, hint of vague age difference (if he's 36 I'm thinking like the reader is 5-10 years younger but honestly insert whatever age you want), fingering, creampie, oral sex (f receiving), protected p in v sex (yay for responsible joel), praise kink makes brain go brrr, porn with plot, soft-ish!joel, no use of y/n story summary: a one-night stand with a handsome stranger doesn't go as planned. chapter summary: you invite joel to your place. you both know why he's there. author's notes: this is actually going to be a three-parter, not a two-parter, lol. sorry. thanks to my lovely friend @magpie-to-the-morning for your support in developing this chapter! no apocalypse, yay! this is part one of a multi-part series. excited to get this new ball rolling. this is just going to be a fun romp away from the mushroom zombies, okay? have fun getting yours ;) and as always, please feel free to reblog or leave a comment! your feedback is so very appreciated.

There is nothing quite like a Friday night attached to a three-day weekend. With Columbus Day right around the corner, you have the next seventy-two hours to do quite literally, whatever the fuck you want. For the first time in weeks, school is the last thing on your mind.

And apparently, you’re the last thing on Joel’s mind. You gave him your number a week ago, and even though you know three days is the average length of time before your date gets in touch with you again—can you even call your debauched bathroom rendez-vous a date?—not getting so much as a message on your voicemail has you a little freaked out.

Okay, a lot freaked out.

You’d written your number down on a napkin. He could have lost said napkin in the middle of Austin’s city streets, and now, a total stranger has your information. Just fucking great.

You kick off your shoes as you pull yourself out of your fabricated daydream—more like a nightmare. As you move through your apartment, you don’t waste a goddamn minute. You unclasp your bra beneath your shirt, pulling the straps from your shoulders and sliding them down your arms before tossing the garment into the hamper.

Maybe it’s better Joel hasn’t called. You can totally picture yourself just holing up in your apartment for the next three days and calling in delivery every night after running downtown to the nearest Blockbuster and renting a couple of cheesy romantic comedies. The guy behind the counter knows you’ve rented How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days at least three times since it’d been released on DVD, and that fact is only mildly embarrassing.

Still, your job forces you to be a creature of habit. Days like last Friday night, hooking up in public restrooms—that’s not your norm. Your feet are killing you. Sometimes you just need a weekend that demands very little of your attention or energy outside of the four walls of your bedroom.

By 9:30, you’re in your pajamas with a glass of red on your bedside table. The TV is playing a rerun of some new reality dating show—you think it’s called The Bachelor, but honestly, you tuned in during the middle of the episode, so you’re not sure. Your bed is your fucking safe haven. There are stacks of students’ essays in your tote bag abandoned on a kitchen chair, but you know damn well you took them home to only pretend to grade them. 

You’re good and settled in your bed before the tune of your cellphone ringtone chimes from the living room. You nearly trip over your own feet scrambling out of bed to race to it (but no, you’re not even the slightest bit desperate, here), and the caller ID reflects a number not registered in your address book.

It sends a little shock of anxiousness through you, a flash of adrenaline as your stomach drops, but you hit the pick-up button, taking the call.

“Hello?”

“Hi,” a low voice rumbles from the other end of the phone, and immediately, you know who it is.

Holy shit. He actually called.

“Wow,” you breathe, your tone somewhere between vulnerability and flirtatiousness. “And here I thought you totally forgot about me.”

Joel chuckles on the other end of the line. “No, nothing like that. Just been workin’ like a dog all damn week. Either that or I’ve been taking care of my kid. Or she’s been taking care of me. Sometimes I don’t know the dif—”

He cuts himself off with a laugh, and you giggle softly into the receiver, because was Joel this charming when you met him last weekend?

“I just mean, I finally got a moment to myself is all,” Joel finishes. “Figured I’d get in touch.”

“I’m glad you did,” you confess, sinking into the comfortable cushions of your loveseat. You kick your legs across the arm of it, suddenly feeling like a freshman girl talking to her senior crush before the big homecoming game. Even though you’ve barely started conversing, your heart is absolutely racing, anticipating the questions he might ask you, the plans you might make. It’s entirely too late for a dinner date, and you’re not sure Joel would even want a commitment as serious as sharing a meal with you, but there’s a small part of your naivete that remains hopeful. If Joel had been looking for a one-night stand, why had he asked you for your number?

“Yeah, well, I’ve bored you with enough details of my week,” he says, and it’s as though you can hear the smile in his voice. “How’d yours go?”

“Good,” you say, trying to think of more interesting ways to elaborate on your one-note response. “I mean, as good as teaching high school students on a Friday before a long weekend could possibly go. They either have too much energy or not enough.”

Joel laughs at that. “That’s right. Supermodel moonlighting as a teacher. I get it.”

“You’re cute,” you laugh.

“So’re you.”

You blush. You fucking blush. Joel might have admitted to being out of the dating scene for a while, and even if his comments are simple and somewhat predictable, he’s got some serious charm.

At some point in the conversation, Joel confesses he’s alone for the evening. His daughter is at a sleepover—she’s a good kid, so if she wants to stay at a friend’s house on a Friday night here and there, I’m not one to protest—and you’re alone with nothing but your mostly-empty wine glass and your Nokia 3310, beeping intermittently to signal that your battery is going to die.

There’s a pause in the conversation as you internally debate your next move: continue to engage in slightly awkward small talk, as though he hadn’t completely rocked your world seven days earlier, or the option you’re leaning towards: invite him over. Hadn’t Joel been angling for this exchange to end up that way, anyway? His daughter isn’t home tonight, so there’s no reason for him to be home himself.

“You should come over,” you offer, suddenly sounding a hell of a lot less cool than you had moments earlier when you’d flirted.

The fluster is contagious. Even if this is secretly what both of you had hoped for, what both of you sort of expected, Joel is just as nervous as you. “Y—yeah,” he stammers, and it sounds like he needs to fight to find the word in the back of his throat. “Definitely. Uh, what’s your address?”

Joel knows where you live. Well, he knows the area. He says he used to pass your street every morning when he’d drop off his daughter off at school, back when she was in third or fourth grade. The notion of him waving goodbye to an eight-year-old and telling her he loves her and hopes she has a great day at school makes your heart absolutely squeeze. A part of you wants to forgo your in-person booty call for a round of phone sex because you’re fucking wet from that vision alone, but instead, you tell him you’ll see him soon and end the call.

You take a deep breath and let it sink in. Joel is coming over to your apartment tonight. There’s a half-full glass of pinot noir on your bedside table, a mess of dishes in the sink, not to mention, you look like a total mess. Your pajamas are more functional than they are sexy, your hair is falling every which way, and your eyes are probably tired. It’s been a long week, and there are some things that even the promise of great sex can’t immediately resolve—like your current energy levels.

Fuck it. You plug your phone into its charger and hurry toward the bathroom, readying yourself for your visitor.

Within fifteen minutes, you’ve changed into a pair of jeans and a tank top (you don’t plan on wearing it long, anyway, but there’s something too comfortable about opening the door in fleece polka dot pants). Your hair is tamed and you’ve even applied a respectable amount of makeup; just enough to appear as though your job hasn’t completely zapped the life from you over the past week.

You’ve just finished tidying up when there’s a ring at your doorbell. You buzz Joel in, and you can hear his footsteps making their way up the flight of stairs from the ground floor to yours. Every step causes your heart to beat quicker, the anticipation to bubble beneath your skin, and you wonder if it’s the same for him, too.

He knocks at your door and you immediately smile when you see him.

“Hi,” you say.

“Hello, darlin’.”

You stand there for a moment, catching sight of all the little traits that’d caused you to draw to him in the first place. The crinkles around his eyes, tired and friendly, the bit of gray found in an otherwise patchy brown beard, the broadness of his shoulders beneath a worn denim shirt.

And the fucking pet name, god. Joel is so fucking smooth and he doesn’t even realize it. Or maybe he does and you’re a damn fool. Either way, it works, and you welcome him inside without another hesitation, closing the door behind him.

You offer him the only alternative to wine you have in your place—beer—and he accepts both the bottle and its opener. You try not to be mesmerized by the sight of his hands maneuvering over the bottle cap or the sight of his lips as he takes a swig, and when he tells you you’ve got a nice place here, you have to ask him to repeat it because you haven’t entirely heard what he’s said.

“Your place,” he repeats, one side of his lips curving into a slight smirk. “It’s nice. You know how to decorate.”

“Yeah,” you say, and it sounds like something caught between a laugh and a gasp. Joel is approaching you, placing the beer on your countertop while he corners you in, his hands placed on the edge of the counter on either side of your hips.

“You know, not that I wouldn’t enjoy talkin’ over a drink with you, but if that was all we were in for, I’d take you out somewhere,” he rumbles. You swallow nothing but air, your face growing hot as Joel’s gaze falls to meet your eyes, then your lips.

“Yeah,” you repeat as you nod.

“Yeah,” he echos with a chuckle. “Is that all you’re gonna say to me tonight?”

“No,” you say, and you feel like a bona fide idiot. Joel’s index finger curves beneath your chin, tilting your face up toward his.

“I’m gonna make you sing tonight, baby girl,” he murmurs, and then his lips are on yours.

You push your weight off the edge of the counter, winding your arms around Joel’s neck while his hands hold the flesh of your hips. The man is made out of electricity, suddenly shocking you to life and warming your blood. You part your lips while he kisses you, giving him permission to search your mouth as you lead him to your bedroom step for step.

The television is still on when you step into the room, only the faint golden light of your bedside lamp illuminating the space within the four walls. Joel pulls away to catch his breath and you rush to locate the remote.

“Should I be flattered you chose spendin’ time with me over watchin’ The Bachelor?” Joel teases as you turn off the TV.

“Shut up,” you laugh, and then you’re on him again. Your hands find the top button of his shirt, steadily unfastening each so that you’re free to push the garment down his shoulders and arms. It’s the first time you’ve seen him like this, exposed to you, chest rising and falling with each breath. It nearly knocks the air from your lungs. It’s not like it’s a new realization, of course, but…Joel is sort of gorgeous. He’s staring right back at you and you can tell he’s searching for some sort of quip or teasing remark, but nothing comes. Instead, he’s leveling the field when he reaches for the hem of your tank top, and you raise your arms to facilitate him.

Both shirts and your bra are abandoned on the floor of your bedroom. Joel lays you onto your bed and fucking worships your tits, tonguing one pert nipple while his hand roams and kneads the other breast. He’s gentle, maybe a little clumsy, but eager. Eager to taste you, to explore you, to map out the path of your form and learn what makes you gasp and moan.

And you do. You fucking do. You whine as your fingers take hold of the back of his head while he lingers on your breast, teeth grazing against the flesh of one before turning his attention toward the other.

“Singin’ for me already, huh?” Joel asks, voice deep. Your hands fumble with the buckle of his belt, unfastening the leather from around his hips before you unbutton his jeans. He doesn’t appear to be in any rush, though. Joel’s focus remains on your chest; his hands have a gentle hold on the side of your ribs and you arch your back as you whimper his name, furthering his access to your body.

“I need to—I need to feel you more,” you confess. “I want to—”

“So do I,” he interrupts you, as though he’s read your mind. Whatever it is you want, Joel wants it, too, even if he’s more willing to take his time, more willing to drag it out—a welcome change from the circumstances of last weekend.

His lips trail from the underside of your breast down your abdomen, lingering at the skin just above the button of your jeans. Joel’s gaze meets yours and you nod, hoping you don’t appear too desperate or frantic, though you’d be completely unsurprised if that’s how you look.

Nimble fingers unfasten the button and pull your jeans down and off your legs, the black thong you’d chosen earlier that night going with them. Joel ascends your body once more, but catches you off guard when he takes one of your pillows and slides it beneath your tailbone.

“Been thinkin’ about this all week,” he murmurs as his index and middle fingers collect the wetness at your center. The half-smirk he’d given you earlier returns and you lick your lower lip in anticipation, breath catching in the back of your throat. 

“From the looks of it,” Joel adds. “So have you.”

“Yeah,” you admit. “Yeah, I have.”

Your eyes roll back when Joel slides one digit inside of you to the knuckle. He curls his finger, finding the spot that’d driven you wild the last time you were together. Joel’s deep eyes are half-lidded, his expression one that exists between complete satisfaction and needing more. 

Needing more of you. To feel you writhe and wriggle beneath him, to taste you, to feel the hot clench of your cunt against his own body.

He kisses your mouth while slipping in a second finger, finding a rhythm with his hands to prime you, ready you for the rest of the evening. You groan, your eyes rolling back even further than before. 

“F—fuck, you feel good,” you breathe while he tongues the salt from your neck.

“You do too,” Joel hums in response. “But I wanna know how you taste.”

If Joel had been taking his time before, he wastes none of it now. He immediately seeks your clit, lips securing around it while he suckles and tastes you. He stays just like that for a while before his mouth finds the slick between your folds, and Joel pushes deeper, groaning at your flavor. 

Your hands claw into the bedsheets while he feasts on you. It feels as though Joel is the only damn thing that can bring you pleasure like this. Every tremble of your body beneath his mouth, every tense of the muscle in your thighs like you mean to crush his head between them—it’s entirely too much. You inhale sharply as Joel holds your thighs in his strong hands, pushing them apart to give himself unfettered access to your body. You can’t hide from him, and what’s more, Joel doesn’t want you to. He embraces you. He drinks you down.

“So fuckin’ pretty,” he mutters against your skin, pulling back for only a moment to catch his breath. “Seein’ you like this. I wanna feel you, baby. I want you to come on my tongue.”

You can’t find any words to offer him in response. You just whine, one hand gripping his messy hair while you pull him toward your core, urging him to continue, to let you finish. And you do. Joel lets you with the last several strokes of his tongue, stroking your clit while his fingers curl and pulse inside of you.

You’re a mess. You’ve soaked you both, and when Joel rises from his spot between your legs, he catches your lips against his. They’re soft, glimmering with evidence of your desire, and you you taste your own flavor sitting on his tongue.

“Shit,” you pant against his mouth. You’re still catching your breath, letting the muted colors of the room before you fall into view as you come down from your peak. Joel chuckles to himself as he kisses the edge of your jaw.

“You liked that?” He asks, and you’d think he was being a wiseass if he hadn’t sound so genuine.

“Mhm,” you hum, kissing him again.

—

It’s sudden, the way the tables have turned.

You’ve got Joel on his back now. He’d only gotten up to fetch the condom from his jeans’ pocket, but once he rejoined you in bed, you’d pushed him down, thrilling in the tiny pleasure of getting him beneath you.

“So fuckin’ pretty,” he repeats, staring up at you as you straddle his hips. “Fuck, I got lucky tonight. In more ways than one.”

You swat his arm playfully, leaning forward to nibble at his earlobe while one hand seeks out his cock. You’d thought the comedown from immensely satisfying oral sex might satisfy your need for him, but you’d been so fucking wrong.

“I’m going to make you sing,” you whisper in his ear, soft and knowing. Joel groans in response while you sink onto his cock, gradually allowing yourself to fully take him inside of you.

“Fuck,” you hiss. “Fuck, you’re huge.”

“You can take it, baby,” Joel encourages you, his fingers pressed into your hips. “I know you can. I’ve seen you do it.”

You whine as your hips begin to rock, and Joel matches your movements. You’d demand that you’d do all the work right now but fuck, the way he hits your body just like that is not something you have the ability nor the desire to protest.

He fills you and suddenly the whole world makes sense. He fills you and you’re not sure how you managed to endure the last week without him. Every thrust of his hips, every moan that falls from his perfect lips, every squeeze of his fingertips against your body is only further cause for you to become nearly addicted to it.

He watches you as your move in time with each other, as your breasts bounce to the rhythm you’ve set for each other. He grounds his weight into one broad palm, pushing himself up so that he’s sitting upright beneath your body. He lets you continue to ride him while he fucks you underneath your form, teeth grazing against the gentle curve of your chin.

It’s sudden, the way the tables have turned. And without much warning, they promptly turn back. 

“So good,” he growls. “You gonna gimme another one? I know you have it in you.”

Your eyes squeeze shut as you nod, a desperate little wail escaping your mouth. Joel’s chuckle quickly turns into a moan as your walls clench and flutter around the hard line of his cock. He fucks you through it anyway, maintaining the pace you’ve built together.

“Good girl,” he rumbles in praise. “That’s my good fuckin” girl.”

Joel says that, and it’s all over. Joel says that, and you tumble over the crest he’s forged for you. You come and he continues to fuck you through the aftershocks. You shatter and he kisses your temple and tells you to go a little longer and you do. You fucking do. You might follow Joel to the ends of the goddamn earth if he asked that of you.

His forehead braces against yours while he meets his own edge. Your name is a groan in the back of his throat when he comes and it just might be the prettiest sound you’ve ever heard.

He hisses as you slide off of him, your bodies sweaty and sticky and warm, and a part of you thinks he’s immediately going to leave. A part of you thinks he’s going to grab his clothes and his keys and tell you he’ll call you again soon and you fear he never will.

It’s a fucking shame, how quickly you pull yourself from the supposed afterglow.

Joel’s breathing is labored but he kisses you despite it, his hand coming up to run through your messy head of hair.

He holds you in your own bed. Your back is flush against his chest while he asks you questions about your life: how long have you lived in Austin? How long have you been a teacher? What’s your favorite book to teach? The softness of it causes your heart to squeeze while you share the answers with him.

You’re just about to reciprocate his questions with some of your own before a ringtone sounds, but this one doesn’t belong to your phone.

“Sorry,” Joel apologizes as he releases his hold on you, sliding out of bed. He pulls on his jeans, grabbing his phone from his back pocket before he takes the call.

You sit up, listening to one end of the conversation, and surmise it’s Joel’s daughter. His tone is gentle, reassuring, and it only furthers the pleasant ache in your chest. Until this point, you’ve only heard anecdotes of Joel’s adventures in fatherhood but never witnessed him engage in it.

He ends the call with a brief see you soon, slipping his phone back into his pocket.

“Was that your daughter?” You ask, sitting up.

“Yeah,” he says, swiping his shirt off your bedroom floor. “She was supposed to be stayin’ over a friend’s house, but they got in a fight and she asked me to pick her up. I don’t ask questions, I don’t have the brains to figure out…girl drama, but I gotta go.”

“Of course,” you say, and you’re not at all taken aback at his sudden leave. No, if Joel needs to get his daughter, that’s obviously paramount to pillow talk. There are no questions as he pulls on his boots and you pull your top overhead and your jeans over your legs.

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes at your door. You shake your head and dismiss it immediately.

“Don’t apologize,” you assure him. “Please. Go get her.”

He kisses your cheek and gives your hand a little squeeze, and you revel in how it completely eclipses the size of your own.

“I’ll call you soon,” he tells you before he leaves.

Your apartment is quiet without him. You know you’ll replay the night in your head before you fall asleep, but before you do, you decide to prepare your apartment for a productive Saturday morning.

You prepare a pot of coffee, programming the machine to start brewing promptly at eight o’clock the next day. You toss the remaining wine from your glass and drain Joel’s beer down the sink, dumping the empty bottle into your recycling bin. You take your stack of essays from your tote, leaving them neatly on your kitchen table alongside a case full of newly-purchased gel pens. You know the version of you who wakes up tomorrow will be grateful for the care and preparation you’ve taken right now, to ready yourself for a productive morning.

The first essay in your stack belongs to Sarah Miller.

[cosmic-ships]

.: What Makes You, You. :.

Ship: Ben Solo x Kaden Reese

Words: 857 words.

cw: some self conscious talk from Kaden but nothing too bad. // super fluff lol

summary: Ben notices something is off with his fiancé

Hey, if you're not a self-shipper please dni. I have anxiety lol

Banner by @/cafekitsune

Ben watched quietly as Kaden emerged from the shower, tower wrapped securely around them, their usually straight hair now drying into its natural, wavy form. He noticed the way their eyes followed the mirror's reflection, a frown forming on their lips as they tried, unsuccessfully, to straighten the rebellious strands.

They moved closer to the mirror trying to push their skin up a bit and they craned their neck back and in different angles and they sighed heavily, something was weighing them down and their frustration was palpable in the steam-filled room.

"Hey," Ben's voice broke through the silence, soft yet firm. He stepped closer, wrapping his arms around Kaden from behind, careful not to startle them. "You seem upset. Talk to me."

Kaden let out a sigh, leaning back into Ben's embrace but not meeting his gaze. "I just… look at my hair. It's everywhere, and these waves… they don't suit me. I look ridiculous…"

Ben gently turned Kaden to face him, lifting their chin with his finger and thumb so they were looking into each other's eyes. "Starlight, listen to me. You are beautiful. Your hair, these waves, they add to your charm. They're unique, just like you."

"But it's not just my hair…" Kaden's voice wavered, their insecurities laid bare. "I feel… off today… My body, it's… I don't feel very attractive right now…I'm struggling to see anything positive…"

Ben's heart ached at the vulnerability in Kaden's eyes and their words. He brushed a wavy strand away from their face, his touch gentle and soothing. "My love, your worth isn't defined by your appearance. You're so much more than that. Your heart, your spirit, they outshine everything."

Kaden tried to look away, but Ben held their gaze, earnest and unwavering. "Your eyes," he continued "they light up when you talk about something you love or something you have a great passion for… Your laughter, it's contagious, it brightens up the darkest days… and your lips.." he smiled softly, tracing their bottom lip lightly with his thumb, "they speak words of kindness and love. All of these things are a part of you, a part I adore."

"It's easy for you to say…" Kaden murmured sadly "You don't have to wake up to this every day…"

Ben's embrace tightened, a mixture of comfort and determination in his hold, his heart ached when he heard them. "But I do, darling. I wake up to the most incredible person every day. Someone who's strong, loving, and incredibly brave. Someone who's faced challenges head-on and came out stronger, someone who looked at me and never seen a monster… Your body, your curves, they're part of the story that makes you, you. And I love every chapter, every line and I mean that completely."

Kaden blinked back tears, the sincerity in Ben's voice piercing through the fog of self-doubt. "You really believe that?"

"With all my heart." Ben affirmed, his voice a steady anchor. "I love you, my Starlight. Not for what you look like on the outside, but for who you are on the inside. Your kindness, your compassion, your fierce spirit. You've taught me so much about love and about acceptance."

Kaden's breath hitched, the walls around their heart crumbling bit by bit. "I just feel so… unflattering, sometimes."

Ben cupped Kaden's face in his hands, wiping away a stray tear with his thumb. "To me, you are perfect. Your body, your hair, your insecurities, they make you, you. And I wouldn't change a thing. You're beautiful, love. Inside and out."

The words, so earnest and full of love, enveloped Kaden like a warm blanket, chasing away the cold tendrils of doubt. "I love you, Ben. Thank you for seeing me…and for loving me as I am."

Ben smiled, his own heart swelling with love for the one in his embrace. "I will always love you, Kaden. No matter what. You're my heart, my soul, and my home. Together, we're unstoppable."

Kaden smiled, a genuine, heartfelt smile that reached their eyes, transforming their entire demeanor upon hearing him echo the same words that they've always said about him. "I guess I can live with wavy hair and a chubby body, as long as I have you."

Ben laughed softly, the sound rich and warm in the cool air. "Wavy, straight, bald, skinny, chubby, I don't care. I love you for you and I always will."

And in that moment, wrapped in each other's arms, the world outside ceased to exist. There were no doubts, no insecurities, just two hearts beating as one, united in love and acceptance.

"Come on," Ben whispered, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "Let's go show the universe how stunning my fiancé looks, waves and all." he teased.

Kaden chuckled, the sound bubbling up from a place of newfound confidence. "Only if you promise to keep complimenting me like that."

"Every day, for the rest of our lives." Ben vowed, sealing their promise with a soft yet loving kiss that spoke of endless love and unwavering support and devotion.

Maybe Kaden trying to love themselves wasn't as hard as it once was…

Tagging: @mahitoslittlebird || @dragonsmooch || @ama-ships || @heatobrienswife || @roboraindrop ||@kylars-princess

[just-some-random-blogger]

Hello! I feel un gran oso (shame, cringe, etc) for this, but I wanted to request a morpheus one shot hehe. I just NEED this situation to be written or something cause in my opinión its ✨✨

Based on the song Ballroom of Romance of Celtic Woman, where the reader is a human that somehow fell into morpheus grace, and as such she can enter the Dreaming every time she wants through a earring that morpheus crafted, and she wants to celebrate the Day of the Book or the day of the Librarian in honor to Lucienne, and for unknown reasons she gets permission to make a ballroom and well, a lot of dancing and a beautiful dress and Morpheus from his throne like: 🙂 (💓💓💓)

Mutual pining of course ✨

Thank you very much, have a nice day/noon/night!

Here's the song;

😊

Granny's Superstitions

Dream of the Endless x College Student!Reader

Summary: Your grandmother told you stories of how her grandmother was friends with the King of Dreams. You didn't think much of it, not even when you inherited your great-great grandmother's earrings on your 18th birthday. I mean, why would you? They did not correlate. And yet, your granny should have told you it did, so you weren't so surprised when you found yourself in the halls of the Dreaming.

Word Count: 5k+

Warnings: Dark post capture!Dream, fem!reader, themes of misogyny, exasperated college student!reader, reader has a potty mouth, angst, enemies to lovers(?), typos, etc.

A/N: this was an exciting request! I love that you even added a song <3 I enjoyed it very much!! The syncopation in the chorus, its UGH SAUR GOOD. Because of this, I made reader a music major, like me HIHI. I will say, this became quite a dark and angsty fic and for that 😅 im sorry ig. ALSO I CHANGED SO MUCH ABOUT YOUR PROMPT I- ASODHASFOIAHFAHSF:HASF I do hope you still enjoy it my dear T_T [CRIES] IDK WHY I DID THIS TO YOUR REQUEST AND MYSELF IT WAS THE EARRINGS I HYPERFIXATED ON IT AND EVERYTHING JUST WENT BOOM T_T this is literally escapism PS the character Tim Henson in this fic is real, he's from a band called polyphia, which I love, and you don't have to imagine him as Tim, but I sure did LOL

I was effectively buzzed by the alcohol in my blood stream, and yet no amount of booze would make the unwanted stares from my classmates ever palatable.

Had I known making an effort in dressing up would merit the reaction I got for attending this party I didn't even want to attend in the first place, then they should all be glad that I wasn't in fashion department but in music.

Yet another rando turned to me and smiled, complimenting my outfit, to which I forced out a chuckling thank you.

I don't know why they're so upset that the guy they liked thought I was hot! It's not like it's my fault I got attention I didn't want.

I huffed as I pushed the restroom door open. I wash my hands as I stare at my face in the mirror. I behold the efforts I put on painting my face, on doing and redoing my liner, on perfecting the color on my lips.

I clench my jaw tightly at the feel of tears pricking from my eyes.

I thought they were my friends, finally I had friends, and yet all it took was one guy to ruin all that.

I close the faucet and lean on sink, releasing a sigh. I look at my reflection, watching the sapphire earrings dangle by my jaw.

I scoff at myself. I wore my heirlooms for them?

"Gosh, I miss home," I say, screwing my eyes shut as I straighten myself up. I begin to fidget with the small jewels on my lobes and head for the door. "Who cares if I leave early," I pull the door open, "no one's gonna-"

My ghost leaves me and I still when I see the dark expanse of the hall. There was no way this was the room I just exited, no way it was a dark, high-fricking-ceiling hall with marble floors, and massive stained glass windows that were broken. There was no way because there was not a single piece of furniture or intoxicated student in sight, only debris.

From my frozen stance, I push my hand behind me in an attempt to catch the knob I just let go. When I turn, my heart drops when I am faced with the fact I was in the middle of an empty hall with no door in sight.

Did they drug me?

I begin to pant as I do a 360 of the area.

I choke on my spit and go reeling back when I see a dark face in front of me. I am not nearly fast enough in my movements as the man's large strides allow him to quickly catches me in his tight grip.

"How have you come here, intruder?"

His voice is impossibly loud and deep that it seemed it was spoken by the very room itself. My hands dart up to cover my ears, but his grip on my biceps prevented that.

I open my mouth to speak, but the furrow of his brows and the tension of his jaw bring render me mute.

His darkened blue eyes widen a fraction. He scoffs, "I see. You are a thief."

My brows knit at the accusation.

He steps closer, fingers digging into my flesh, "what did you wish to achieve with those earrings?"

A shiver runs down my spine and I begin to stutter.

"What did you do to its owner?" his voice demands, going an octave lower. My eyes widen when his form begins to grow larger and the room begins to darken, "did you hurt her?"

My sight begins to blur with fearful tears when his pale skin disappears into nothingness, "I never met my her! She was dead before my mother was even born!"

"What?!" his voice echoes, seemingly endlessly.

"I NEVER MET GRANNY JOSEPHINE!" I scream, "I just inherited the earrings, I swear!"

When his form begins to revert, I decide it was do or die. I break away from his grip and manage free. However, when I pull away from him, I fall on my butt and freeze at the pain. I crawl away from him as far and as fast as I can, but as much as I didn't want to, I halt when pain shoots up from my palm. I pull my hand toward me and find blood on it.

"You are her progeny," he says.

When my eyes dart back to him, he is just a man in with black hair and a trench coat.

My pulse quickens when he walks over to me.

In an act of self preservation, I grab a concrete rock nearby and throw it to him as hard and best as I can. I goes right through his form and my eyes blow wider than they already are.

I push myself back, through the pain and blood on my palms, "STAY AWAY FROM ME! I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT BUT-"

"I apologize," his voice mutters, silencing me in pure bewilderment.

I look up to the man and examine his face and his outstretched hand.

He cannot possibly believe I would take that.

I prefer the pain of pushing myself up and make sure not to break eye contact with him as I do. Once I am back to my feet, the man looks at me then the blood dripping from my fingers.

"What the fuck are you?" I shudder out, slowly backing away from him.

His eyes lift back to me and he raises his nose, "I am the King of Dreams."

My body trembles at his words. My hands shake as I chuckle in disbelief, "no way- no fucking way. My grandmother- those bedtime stories- you're-"

"Real?" he finishes for me, "as real as your blood staining my floors."

My eye twitches at his remark. I scoff, still on edge, and yet I cannot withhold the retort in the back of my throat, "you're annoyed by my blood dripping when your your filthy floor?"

The Dream king seems not to enjoy that comment and yet I could not help myself, "my blood is the least of your problems, don't you think?"

I grip my injured hand.

"Leaving unwanted traced of yourself is not good for my domain."

I raise my brows at that, "well if you didn't shapeshift and scare the living shit out of me, then maybe I wouldn't have had to crawl away from you."

"I thought you were an intruder."

"But aren't you all knowing, or some shit," I heave, "so much for a king."

"You dare insult me in my own abode right after I've scared you out of your wits?"

I dare a step forward, "well to be humbled, your majesty, for bringing me here just to intimidate me-"

"I did not bring you here," he cuts me off, diminishing the space between us.

And though my pulse was loud in my ears, I remained steadfast in my place.

His hot breath hits my face as he speaks, "you thought of the Dreaming and travelled here yourself."

I pull my face back as it contorts, "I did not think of this hellhole. I thought of home."

"Yes, and this place is a home for all who are weary."

I hum, "you mean before it crumbled to the ground."

My breath hitches at the sound of his growl, "you inherited not an ounce of congeniality from your great-great grandmother."

The way he knows how far off granny Josephine was to me really struck a chord in me. I press my lips together, "well, I'm glad to have disappointed you so soon so that you wouldn't expect anything from me."

He bellows, "mortality never loses its audacity," he brings his face down to me, making my skin rise with gooseflesh, "I would withdraw the earrings you clearly do not deserve, but out of respect to Josephine, I shall allow you to keep it," he seethes, "but for your insolence you will know how much of a king I really am."

BUZZ.

BUZZ.

BUZZ.

BUZZ.

BUZZ.

BUZZ.

BUZZ.

BUZZ.

I slam my hand on my alarm and rip my heavy lids open.

I groggily groan as I struggle out of bed.

Ten days it's been since the last time I slept properly. If falling asleep wasn't the problem, then it was trying to wakeup from the horrible nightmares that plagued me.

I slam my books on my desk, making my seatmate turn to me and watch as I sit down next to him.

"Well, good morning to you too, zombie girl," Tim greets with a shit eating grin.

"I am not in the mood, you ass," I grunt, crossing my arms as I lean back on my chair.

"You haven't been in the mood for two weeks," he says, "Don't you think you should do something about it?" he leans on the table and knits his brows in concern.

I wipe my face and give an annoyed chuckle, "what can I do when I'm literally beefing with the king of dreams," I carefully word, "and nightmares."

"Poetic," he rests his hands on the back of his tattooed hand, "a true sign of insanity."

"Go fucking annoy someone else, you rat."

"Nah, if I do, you'll be lonelier than you are."

I shoot him a dirty look as he then places something in front of me.

I look at the grey packet as he explains, "sleeping pills."

I turn back to him and push the medicine away, "don't work. I've tried."

He raises a brow, "without prescription?"

"There is such a thing a over the counter drugs, Tim."

"Spoken like a true druggie."

I scoff.

He continues, "this was why I told you not to attend that snobby party. You ever noticed that ever since then, you've gotten fucked up in the brain. It's no coincidence."

"Again, thank you captain obvious," I slam my hands on the table and turn to him, feeling my head pulse in exhaustion, "and so sorry that not everyone can be a cool and popular as you."

"Why'd you even wanna make friends with them when you-"

"SHUT UP!" I scream, making the entire class turn to me. I feel embarrassment rise up my neck, and was only lucky that our teacher wasn't here yet. I sink down into my arms and bury my face as I mutter, "Enough. Enough! I get it, Tim. 'I told you so.' Geez, just get off my ass."

He calls my name, making me groan, "I'll do something about my insomnia! Just please, shut the fuck up."

"You better," he scoffs, "or else I'll plant a pea shooter in your lawn."

And so later that day, I did what I perhaps I should have the very moment after I met the Dream King.

I called my grandmother.

"Hi, granny," I smiled, holding my phone up to my face as I waved at the harshly zoomed face of my grandmother on the screen.

"How are you there?" she excitedly answers, "I'm so glad you thought to call."

I nod and chuckle, "me too, granny."

She takes a moment before responding, "you look tired. Have you been sleeping and eating well."

"Yeah, about that..."

After explaining everything to her, her voice grills the audio of my device because of how loud it is, "HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO DREAM OF THE ENDLESS?!"

"Granny, that-"

"YOU MUST APOLOGIZE TO HIM AT ONCE-"

"I think we're past apologies. I have to do something more to make it up to him if I'm to ever sleep well again."

"Darn straight," she mutters in agreement, "now, oh goodness, let's see..." she sighs and wipes her face, "PIE!"

I raise a brow, "pie?!"

"My grandmother absolutely loved baking and everyone who ate her apple crumble pie adored-"

"Hello," a voice calls, making me turn to whom spoke. I see a woman with glasses walking over to me and I give an awkward smile as I raise the tray in my hand, "hi... is Dream here?" Once she is before me, she takes in my appearance then raises a finger, "ah, you're the one who inherited the Sapphire Dream Walk." "... do you mean my earrings?" "Yes. I-" "What are you doing here, girl?" I look over my shoulder and see the annoyed expression on the Dream of the Endless, as my grandmother put. "A peace offering," I release a sigh and hand him the tray, "my grandmother said that granny Josephine made you pie and you so enjoyed." The two of them only stare at me. "It's most definitely not as good-" "Lucienne, I don't have time for this," he says, turning to the woman who greeted me. Dream turns about and debris from the room begins to float up. Lucienne places a hand on my arm then gratefully accepts the tray from me, "I thank you on behalf of my master for your most generous gift."

"Yeah, that's not gonna work," I sigh, running my hands through my hair, "I did not inherit any homemaker skills."

My grandmother says my name gravely.

"What? It's true!" I shake my head, "if I did, then I would have been better off marrying a rich man," I dryly joke.

My grandmother ignores this as she suddenly says, "if your baking skills are that bad, perhaps just make an effort to eat with him every lunch."

I make a twisted face, "you want me to waste my precious free time on that emo prick-"

"Hi," I raise a hand, making Dream and Lucienne, who seemed to be getting into a heated argument, halt and turn to me. Dream scoffs, "you again." I awkwardly chuckle and rub my arm. "What? No bribe this time?" he narrows his eyes at me as he walks over. I purse my lips and twist to reveal my backpack, "I bought lunch for all of us..." There is a sound of thunder from the outside. I look away from the stalking man, finding there was even less debris now compared to yesterday, "it seems your efforts to liven up the place are-" "Silence."

"Oh, so you have a better idea?!" my grandmother quips.

"Granny, I can already imagine-"

"You said," I grip my earlobes tightly in my fingers, "you wouldn't take my earring back for the sake of Josephine." "But that was before," he presses close to me that our bodies were nearly touching, "you were turned out to be a meddlesome insect." "How is being friendly to someone who clearly needs friends meddlesome?" "Friends?" his deep voice darkly chuckles, "it is you who needs friends," his voice echoes, "you think I did not sift through your memories to verify your words? I know well the day you came here you were at a party on the pretense of making companionship," he leans in that his nose nearly touches mine, "but they turned you away, did they not?" My eyes glass at his words and my breathing grows jagged at the words he next spoke. "If your fellow mortals do not want you, what makes you think that I would?" "My lord!" Lucienne calls. I do not grant him the satisfaction of another moment of my time and will myself back to my room.

"-how bad it'll be-"

I hold up a cupcake in a plastic container to the man who was reading on his throne. "Your insolence knows no bounds, girl." "Actually, it's chocolate chip cheesecake." He eyes me darkly, slamming his book closed, "you think you can win me over with food?" "I can tr-" "It is by my own power than I am sustained," he stands and swats my cupcake away, "and by my mercy that you have not slipped into madness." I gulp as he adds, "not yet."

"-if I force myself-"

I try to contain my giggles as Lucienne and I sit on a picnic blanket I bought for today. "It's so weird to know that without him, Bach would've never finished his most famous piece, which is so gentle and sweet and-" I finish with a whisper, "unlike your boss." She sighs as her lips press into a soft smile, "you know... he's not actually that bad. He's just... going through something." I roll my eyes, "what puberty?" Lucienne shakes her head "he has been hurting for a long time." "Just because you've hurt doesn't justify the hurt you inflict on others," I mutter, "you don't have to keep defending your petty king." Dream, who had just finally fixed and tidied the last of the rubble, speaks up "you are aware there is no such thing as hushed whispers in my realm?" He turns to us and walks over with a storm cloud over his head, "every crude remark you've uttered as you stuff your face with your cheap, store bought snacks has echoed in my ears." I look up at him, opening my mouth, but Lucienne's hand grabbing mine silences me. "If you wish to insult me as retribution, then perhaps I should darken your mind more than I already have." "Dream! She has not-" "I've had enough of you as well, Lucienne," he quips, "you tell her things that is not yours to tell." "But you have withheld rest from her, my lord!" she says as she stands, "and for what? Because she told you the realm was in shambles, when it clearly was?!" "I shall heed none of your flippant words and continue to do so as I see fit."

"-to hang around him when he clearly doesn't like me!" I exclaim, already frustrated by the idea.

"Then, do something you like... together."

I release a sigh.

"Perform for him, you are a musician after all, and he is every musician's muse."

Lucienne claps as I release a sigh and allow my guitar to rest on my shoulder on its strap. "A splendid performance indeed," she smiles at me. I awkwardly thank her and turn to Dream beside her. "Pitiful that talents are wasted on a girl as unsavory as she." I shake my head and release a scoff, "aren't you tired of being an asshole?" His lips curl in disgust, "perhaps nightmares aren't enough. Maybe taking your voice-" "You think just because you're powerful and fucking old, all your actions are justified?" I remove the guitar strap and begin to put it back in its case, "I just want to sleep! And I've been making an effort to pacify you, but you're acting like a child." "I'm acting like a-" "THEN I'M ACTING LIKE A CHILD, DAMMIT," I heave, "and you are the perfect Dream of the Endless!" I get on my knees and bow to him mockingly, "none could defy his will."

"Granny, that's-"

"Oh! I've got it. I've got it! I remember. The king is absolutely fond of ballroom dances. Perhaps you can convince him to allow you to plan a dance for him."

"Granny, where would I even plan such a thing?"

"The dreaming of course," I press my lips into a smile, watching Dream's dark face eye me impatiently. "I've had quite enough of your games, girl," he snips, "first you bribe me with food, now you're trying to fool me into dancing with you." "What-" I whine, "is it going to take-" I huff, "for your petty ass to forgive me." He scoffs, "well perhaps you could start by dropping the unnece-" "But I have! I did! I tried being nice, but you do nothing but attack me." He scoffs, "and if that were true then you would not be sufferings still." "I JUST WANT TO SLEEP!" I scream, lunging at him as I grab his stupid collar, "you have NO idea what it feels like to be so tired but restless." "I think I would know-" "BUT YOU DON'T! Because you don't need sleep, or food, or anything! You are just an all powerful monster, devoid of emotions and any sense of compassion." He shoves my hands off him and I pull back as I heave. Dream tilts his head at my tear stained face with disdain. "Lucienne told me you were captured-" "It was not her place to tell you anything." "You would know what it feels like to be trapped!" I release a shudder, "or perhaps you are so caught up in your own self-pity that you will never believe anyone else can suffer, at your cruel hands, no less."

I slam my head on the cafeteria table repeatedly until I feel my forehead sting. I feel tears prick my eyes in frustration.

I just want to sleep.

"I just wanna sleep, you royal douche bag-" I whimper, "can you fucking hEAR ME-"

"Hey!" someone catches my forehead, mid head bang, and I crane my neck up to see the worries and breathless face of my classmate, "where have you been? I haven't seen you at lunch in forever."

I groan and straighten up, just to slump down on my chair and rub my eyes in frustration. "I'm so fucking tired, Tim."

"Yeah, no shit," he says, right as the sound of a chair being dragged back fills my ears, "you look like shit."

I let out a whimper, unable to withhold the tears from my eyes, "you think I don't fucking know that?"

I break down against my palms, incapable of keeping my emotions in anymore. Tim stiffens at the sight and lets out a string of curses before placing a hand on my shoulder, "I didn't mean to-"

"Look, if you're here to annoy me too, just leave, Tim."

"What?"

I rip my hands away and look at him with my wet eyes, "I don't know why you're here, but just leave!"

He scoffs, "you don't know why I'm here?" He crosses his arms, "well maybe because I'm worried about you?! Because we're friends?!"

"..."

His brows furrow, "how's that, asshole?"

"... we're... friends?"

Tim's face twists, "are you fucking stupid for real?"

I don't get to reply as my name is suddenly called. I turn to my side and feel my blood still at the face before me.

"You called me," Dream says, turning from me to Tim, "are you in trouble?"

I still and turn between the two, as an incredulous chuckle leaves my throat, "now hold on," I scoff, "hold on just a damn second."

Dream turns back to me and I peer up at him, "are you trying to tell me that you came here because you thought I called you and that I was in some sort of trouble."

"You did call me," he mutters, completely ignoring the rest of what I just said, "I am not one to lie."

Tim turns to me as I laugh. His face is warry as when I stand from my seat. The serious expression Dream's face disturbs me and I chuckle yet again.

"I'm so sorry," I place a hand on my chest, "where are my manners? I should introduce you two first: Tim, Dream, Dream, Tim," I turn to the latter, "you wanna know where I go at lunch? This is the Dream Lord I've been duking it out with every time."

Tim rises from his seat, grabbing my arm.

It seems, Dream does not take kindly to this and shows it by stepping close to the man. As Tim turns to the glaring Dream, I scoff and push the Endless to face me, "you're insane. Aren't you?"

Tim speaks my name softly.

"No," I turn to Tim, "he's the reason why I can't sleep because I questioned his kingliness or some shit-" I snap back to Dream, "in fact I'm so fucking tired I don't remember why you've been giving me nightmares in the first place."

"Okay, calm down," Tim tugs me towards him as he repeats my name, "we should just go to my place now and have lunch there."

"And who are you to take her anywhere?" Dream demands, making Tim's face contort in anger.

"I'm her actual friend, dipshit."

"Except she doesn't have any friends."

Tim snorts in annoyance, "as I'm sure you've been gaslighting her to believe."

With that, we walk away from Dream, even though I was so ready to lunge at him. Tim gave me an absolute earful about something, not that I actually listened. But still, even as his words entered one ear and out the other, I still cringed at the severity of his harsh but concerned tone.

Out of spite of myself, I told him I would skip the rest of my classes and sleep the entire day. After arguing about it, Tim eventually walked me back to my home and I punished myself by actually trying to go to sleep.

You have no idea how shocked I was when it worked.

I didn't realize I was sleeping because I was suddenly in a glimmering black dress.

Lucienne came running over to me with a wide smile, "You did it! You did it, dear, you did it!"

"What?"

"You've put sense into that old fool's head," she grabs my face, "and convinced him to throw a ball in honor of the reconstruction of the Dreaming."

"Wait," I shake my head, "so I'm-" I grip my earlobes and find only the smoothness of my skin, "dreaming?"

Lucienne beams at me as tears glass my eyes.

"Now, is not the time for sadness," she sighs, grabbing my hands, "today we celebrate!"

Seeing all sorts of beings dancing and making merry in the grand halls with such festive and upbeat music made it hard to resist. Of course I was reluctant and in denial. It was all happening so quickly, But when I was drawn into the middle of the room by Lucienne, who linked her arm in mine, and started spinning around, I couldn't help but laugh and dance with her.

My spirit is livened by the sound of the fiddles and the sweet voice singing to the music.

By the time the chorus comes along, I am relaxed and try to hum along with the music as Lucienne and I giggle at how poorly we were dancing.

I am promptly halted when the arm linked in mine pulls away and I slam into a firm dark chest.

I grip on a pair of biceps and tilt my head up. Dream he looks down at me with an expression I have never seen before.

I pull away quickly, but he catches my wrist, "it was your idea to have a dance," he leads me back near to him, "might you share one with me?"

I'm surprised he actually waits for my response. And so I reluctantly nod my head.

The moment I do, he does the weirdest thing. His lips curve upwards and he spins me to the beat of the music.

All the stiffness and unwillingness begins to melt away as Dream leads me to the music. Though his gaze on me is heavy and scrutinizing, I cannot bring myself to look away.

"It really took a man showing his concern for me for you to finally change your mind," I mutter.

"No," he readily denies, "it was you who made me change my mind."

I roll my eyes, "but it took Tim to set the wheels in motion."

He shakes his head, "you truly could not be farther from your great-great grandmother."

I huff, unable to understand him, "she must have meant a lot to you."

"She did," he pauses for a moment, "she was the gentleness to my indifference."

"So, what? Is this the part where you tell me you're my great-great-granddaddy?"

He spins me around and presses his chest against my back, "if Josephine were here, she would be horrified to know how filthy her daughter's lips are."

"I'm not her daughter..." I mumble, feeling my pulse rise at our proximity, "I'm her great-great-"

Dream spinning me cuts me off. When he retrieves me by my waist, he softly tells, "you were right. I have been cruel and devoid of emotion."

Our dancing comes into a stop as he willingly admits this.

"My own hurt and the unjust expectations I had of you to act like someone you are clearly not is what lead me to be so," he mutters with a solemn expression, "it does not make it right, and it is not an excuse, but I wanted to tell you this."

My brows furrow tightly at his words. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"I apologize for my wrongdoings. I do not enjoy what I have become, and I know I am disgracing the memory of my friend for being so brutal to her child."

I feel a shiver run down my spine. In pure disbelief, I grab his face, "are you seriously Dream of the Endless?"

His teary eyes crinkle in amusement and it causes me further bewilderment, "I am."

When he places hands on my wrists so gently, I feel goosebumps form on my arms.

"You are so familiar yet so foreign to me all at once."

I pull away from him, not knowing what to say.

Just then, the music ends and everyone but us breaks into applause.

When another song plays, I press my lips and extend my hand out to him, "how about another dance?"

Tim was lying on the other side of a cafeteria table, while I was sat opposite to him as I typed away on my laptop. He was playing on his electric guitar connected to his tiny, rechargeable amp, which was propped on the table. His nonchalance while expertly riffing made passersby stop, watch, and swoon. Typical Tim. He sits up just as I turn back when I hear my name get called. A small smile finds my lips as I greet my caller, "Dream. What are you doing here?" "It's lunch time and you have not come to the Dreaming yet." Dream catches the fact that I was not wearing my earrings, just as I chuckle, "and why would I go to the Dreaming?" Tim had already straightened up and stopped playing at this point. I shake my head and shrug, "I'm not going to pretend like I didn't go to you to convince you to stop my nightmares. And now you've gotten rid of them, I won't bother you." I examine Dream's expression, but there was nothing to examine, he was as still as a statue. "You don't have to worry about me. You can do your work in peace now," I nod and turn back to my laptop. Tim's eyes widen at what he hears and he decides to just lie back down and play again. I stop myself in the middle of typing to steal a look behind me in case Dream was still there. When I found no one, I pushed the thought of him away and finished my homework.

[authenticparanoidghosts]

hey, found your blog by accident. i see that you have many opinions on chess. what are your thoughts on freddie's arc in the obc? ngl, i kind of love that he never improves. he's a hysteric diva to the end. i think that's so fun but it's also so interesting how he gets a weird sort of redemption arc in every single revival i've read the summary of lol. florence vassy you just haven't got the instincts of a winner!!!!!!!!!!

okay first of all we need to understand two things. 1) I received a CD of the original concept album for christmas, which I promptly loaded into my car's CD player, and 2) it took me a really long time to guess what OBC might stand for. I'm still not totally convinced it isn't Original British Concert, but enough about Chess in Concert! enough, I say! I don't care what Tim Rice said in 2009, Chess in Concert is the coward's way out!

Original Broadway Cast Freddie is a great Freddie because he sucks so bad. it is so important that Freddie sucks. it is, I would argue, fundamental to his character that he sucks like crazy and is generally unpleasant to be around. Broadway Freddie is so weird and dramatic and pathetic. he throws a big fit about the yogurt, he ditches Mountain Duet to do One Night in Bangkok, he's Walter's babygirl who is so so easy to manipulate. they don't let him in on the big plot to get Anatoly back to Russia, they don't even let him win at chess on his own merits!! Anatoly has to outright throw the match for Freddie to finally become world champion, which I find a very funny choice for the American version of the musical.

within the swirling multiverse of Whatever Chess Is Supposed To Be, I like Freddie a lot. I like when he acts weird and bad, because the point of him is to be a flawed human being whose faults reflect on himself rather than the material success of his country/capitalist ideology. Freddie gets to be annoying and misogynistic and hurtful and childish all out in the open because he is Anatoly's mirror, because Anatoly is not a paragon of Russian ideology/communist superiority, he is also just some guy who sucks and is hurtful and misogynistic and childish. Anatoly fighting for his right to be judged as an individual invites this comparison by default - as rivals, they are the only truly "equal" characters in the story - so when Anatoly becomes a man who is not the Representative of Everything Russian, it makes the viewer aware that Freddie is not just a boiled down extraction of what it means to be American. and therefore, when Freddie does something lame and bad, we know this is because he is lame and bad as an individual, and that Anatoly is also lame and bad on his own merits.

I don't think Freddie needs a redemption ("redemption" or maybe, like, "minor improvement") arc to be an interesting character, so I don't feel like I'm missing anything from the Broadway version of him where he doesn't really grow or change as a person. the MOST important thing about Freddie is his positioning relative to Anatoly (men will hurt every woman who comes into their life because their real [NARRATIVE PARALLEL] is another man), so as long as that's interesting, I'm having a great time. in the original Broadway production Freddie is unaltered by the events of the plot, and therefore Anatoly is pulled, magnetically, back to his starting position. the board resets, same as it ever was, with Anatoly back in Russia, Freddie chasing fame as the American champion, and Florence alone, with nobody on her side.

[favefandomimagines]

It Had To Be You 3 (s.h)

Summary: Steve can’t tell you about Nick, you wouldn’t believe him. So you’re reminded of happier times.

Part 1

Part 2

AN: part 3! I’m so sorry for how long it has taken me to get this written and posted! It has been a very busy couple weeks for me!

Also, I am being that person and changing things halfway through the story lol reader is now Max’s sister! I’ll be going through the other parts and making some changes to better fit that! There’s a scene in Eloise at Christmas Time that I really wanted to include with Max!

Taglist: @johnricharddeacy @gaysludge @freezaz123 @mochminnie @selfdeprecatingnerd @tattooedkiss13 @alana4610 @skewedcherries @pariahsparadise @weasleylovers @jasfadel-blog @evansflowers @bellenotthebeast @justmesadgirl @m-rae23

Max couldn’t believe what she was hearing. This guy who said he loved you, got down on one knee, put a ring on your finger and who was going to be apart of her family, was a con artist.

He tricked you and now he was out to take her stepdads money. Your’s and Max’s mom married an uber rich businessman, Bill, shortly after she was released from the hospital after Vecna. He was nice and treated you and Max well.

It was refreshing having an actually father figure after so long. After a couple years he officially adopted you and Max. So his money equalled your money.

When Steve arrived at the Mayfield’s with Dustin in tow and broke the news, Max was fuming. You and Nick were out with your wedding planner finishing up some details, otherwise she would kill him where he stood.

“And you’re sure you heard him correctly?” Dustin asked. “Of course he did. It’s hard to make up ‘her money is mine.’ God, what a dick.” Max answered. “I’m positive. What the hell are we going to do? We can’t let her marry a guy like that.” Steve said.

“What can we do? Do we think Y/N would believe us?” Dustin questioned. “Maybe we don’t have to tell her about Nick’s plan. We wanted her and Steve back together, maybe we remind her of how great they were together. Remind her of the good times before this asshole came into the picture.” Max suggested.

“Brilliant! And then we can have Steve swoop in and everything will be right in the world.” Dustin said. “Guys, don’t you feel a little guilty about this? I mean, Y/N is going to be livid when she finds out we meddled.” Steve said. “We’re not meddling, we’re helping her. Besides, you want her back right?” The young man replied.

“Well, yeah, but-“ Steve started. “Then let us do this.” Max cut him off.

Steve begrudgingly agreed to their plan. He wanted what’s best for you, regardless if it was with him or someone else and he knew the best wasn’t with Nick.

—

You and Max arrived at the wedding dress boutique for you final fitting before the wedding. Though after your night with Steve, you were starting to question everything.

“Hey, are you okay?” Max asked you. “Yeah, yeah. I’m okay, just thinking.” You answered. “Thinking about what?” She questioned. “Thinking about how you haven’t worn a dress in over a decade.” You laughed. Max laughed with you as she looked at her reflection.

Thankfully you weren’t one of those brides who wants their bridesmaids to look ugly. You picked a nice, simple blush colored dress for Max to wear.

“Did you ever think you’d be here?” Max asked. “Honestly, no. This sounds stupid but I always pictured that Billy would be here.” You spoke honestly.

You and Max hadn’t talked about Billy since after Vecna. Everything changed after the demodogs and Max finally stood up to Billy. Though he was still a prick, he wasn’t cruel to you or her. He was just annoying step-brother. You never wanted him to die.

“Really?” Max asked. “He was an ass, but he was changing. I just wish he got the chance.” You said. “Me too.” Max replied.

The both of you shook off the sad feeling when the tailor brought in your dress.

Once you wearing it, a small part of you felt suffocated in the fabric. As if your body was telling you that this wasn’t what you really wanted.

“Do you remember that movie dad used to play during Christmas? The one with Bing Crosby and the sisters?” Max asked. “White Christmas? What about it?” You questioned

“I remember that song, the sisters song, and we would put on mom’s old dresses and dance around to that song.” She said with a fond smile. “And then Dustin and Steve found pictures and made us reenact the scene in front of everyone.” You laughed. “But even when we were butchering that song, I have never seen Steve look more in love with you.” Max said.

Your smile faltered slightly. “Yeah, he was pretty good at putting up with me.” You said. “Do you ever miss him?” Max asked. “Yeah. I miss having someone to talk to. When the nightmares get bad or when I can still hear Billy screaming. I can’t tell Nick, he’d think I was crazy. Steve got it, though. He always got it.” You answered.

“But I don’t know if I miss him or just miss someone telling me I’m not crazy.” You added.

“Y/N, I know you better than anyone. You miss Steve, all of Steve. Not just having someone to talk to because you have me. I know you think you love Nick but maybe you just love the normalcy. And I’m saying this because your my sister and I love you but let’s face it, we will never be normal. You could tell Nick the truth but odds are, he will think you’re nuts. Since the day he met you, Steve never thought you were nuts.” Max said.

You were ready to respond when you heard Nick’s voice enter the bridal shop.

“Y/N!” He called. “Shoot, he can’t see me in my dress.” You spoke, hiding behind the divider. Nick entered the space and saw Max standing with her arms crossed.

“Ah, well isn’t it the maid of honor.” He said. “Nick.” Max replied. “You don’t like me very much, do you?” Nick asked. “Because I know what you’re doing. The real reason you want to marry my sister. How many people do you owe money to?” Max questioned.

Nick’s face fell upon hearing her words. He didn’t think anyone was on to him. How did your sister find out? Or is she just bluffing?

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Nick said. “I think you do, Nick. I know the game you’re playing and I won’t let you break my sister’s heart or steal my family’s money.” Max warned. “There’s really nothing you can do about it because she won’t believe you.” Nick replied.

“Oh we’ll see about that.” Max told him.

You returned back to the main room, both Nick and Max composing themselves. “Hey, sorry we were running a bit behind.” You said. “That’s alright. How about I take you to lunch?” Nick offered. “Uh sure. Let me just make sure Max-“ You started before she interrupted. “It’s okay. Lucas is already on his way, we have plans.” She said.

You nodded your head and gave her a smile before Nick led you out of the shop.

—

That night, you were restless. You couldn’t stay asleep longer than an hour and you were grateful you weren’t sharing a room with Nick. You were being plagued with nightmares and no matter how much you told yourself it wasn’t real, it didn’t stop the nightmares.

You were reliving every horrifying and potentially fatal moment from your high school years. The demodogs and holding on to Steve as they all came running towards you in that tunnel. You could hear Billy’s screams as he was being impaled by the Mindflyer. You and Max begging him to stay alive and him only being able to mutter out an ‘I’m sorry.’

Finding Max on the verge of death in Lucas’ arms, begging whatever god was listening not to take her away from you.

You hadn’t had this bad of a night in months and the only person who used to help settle those thoughts, was only a few blocks away.

Getting up quietly, you put on a pair of sneakers and quietly crept out the door. You knew Steve’s parents didn’t live in Hawkins anymore and basically left Steve their house. Making him a glorified house sitter.

The walk was short, and you recalled the late nights in the Summer time you would walk this route with Steve.

Though it was safe and it was Hawkins, you were hyper aware of your surroundings. Waiting for the shadows to become monsters.

You arrived at Steve’s house and hesitated to ring the doorbell. He was probably fast asleep and wouldn’t even answer the door. Maybe once he saw it was you, he wouldn’t answer the door anyways.

You haven’t exactly done anything to deserve his kindness.

“Just ring the doorbell, Y/N.” You told yourself. Right as you were about to press the button, the door opened. Steve was standing in his pajamas and his robe, staring back at you.

“I heard you mumbling to yourself.” He said. “I-I’m sorry. I don’t even know why I came here. I just, I kept hearing the screaming and it only ever stopped when I was with you.” You told him. You didn’t even know why you told him that.

“You never have to apologize. Come in.” Steve spoke. You gave him a grateful smile as you walked into the house. “Does hot chocolate still help?” Steve asked. “You remember?” You questioned. “We spent a lot of late nights together, Y/N. Of course I remember.” He answered.

You sat at the kitchen table as Steve made two mugs of hot chocolate. He could see that you were at a war with yourself. He hated that you had to go through this every night and he knew that being back in town wasn’t helping.

“Want to talk about it?” He asked, setting the mug down. “They haven’t been this bad in a while. It started a few weeks ago when Nick suggested we have the wedding in Hawkins. It’s like I’m reliving everything over again on a constant loop. A-And I know it’s over, I know we defeated Vecna but sometimes my mind likes me to think differently.” You explained.

Steve placed a hand on top of yours and it was first feeling of relief you had felt all night. “Is it Billy again?” He questioned. “Billy, Max, you. I didn’t even like Billy 95% of the time and yet why is he on the list of people care about? Why do I have to watch him die again?” You answered.

“Y/N, I’ve told you this before. Yeah he was an asshole but he was still a part of your family. I don’t think it’s easy to get over seeing your step-brother die.” Steve said.

“I know and maybe this is why I need therapy. I can’t always come to you when I get nightmares.” You replied. “You can always come to me. I know I messed up really bad but I’ll always be there for you no matter what.” Steve told you.

You nodded your head but you weren’t being too convincing. “I rented Top Gun and I know how much you love Meg Ryan.” Steve suggested. “Meg Ryan is in that movie for all of five minutes.” You rebutted.

“Yes, but, Tom Cruise, Val Kilmer, Anthony Edwards. Come on, you know you love Top Gun.” He said. “Okay, fine. We can watch Top Gun. But you owe me waffles.” You replied. “Deal.” Steve said triumphantly.

Yet another evening that you spent with Steve and it felt like old times. But with all of the good feelings came the bad as well. You couldn’t just forget what happened with Steve and Nancy the night in the RV. It was why you left town in the first place.

“I uh, I should go. It’s really late.” You spoke. “What? You were all for this.” Steve questioned. “Yeah but I don’t want to worry anyone.” You said, standing up from the couch. “Y/N, what just happened?” Steve asked.

“I wish everything could go back to the way it was before Vecna but, I don’t think it can. All I can think about is you and Nancy. Y-You told her our dream and a part of me still feels betrayed.” You answered. “Y/N, I apologized for that and for everything. You have been the only person I’ve ever loved and probably the only person I’ll ever love. I was stupid to let you go.” Steve said.

“And I love you too, Steve. But we can’t be together. Nancy will always be there and I can’t go through that again.” You told him before leaving the house.

—

When you got home, it was dawn. Someone was going to be awake soon and wonder where you had gone.

You gently opened the front door and closed it quietly behind you. “Where were you?” You heard behind you. You jumped slightly and saw Nick standing behind you. “I was, uh, I needed some air.” You lied.

“You were with that guy weren’t you? Steve.” He asked. “What makes you think I was with Steve?” You asked. “Because you were with him the other night. When you were supposed to be at the movies with Max. Also the way you acted when you saw him at the party.” Nick explained.

“Nick,” You started. “You’re marrying me. Not him. I don’t want you to see him anymore.” He said. “He’s my friend, Nick. And you can’t tell me who I can and can’t see.” You retorted.

You attempted to move past him before he grabbed your arm harshly. It was like you went into fight or flight, him grabbing your arm and then seeing Neil do the same thing to Billy. You used all your strength and pushed Nick into the banister.

You both looked at each other with shocked expressions on your faces. “I’m sorry. I-I don’t know where that came from. Just, don’t grab me like that again.” You stammered. “Okay. Then don’t see Steve. And it won’t happen again.” Nick replied.

His threat didn’t go unnoticed as he walked back up the stairs. What you didn’t know, was that Max was spying on your from the kitchen and she had seen the whole thing.

“Y/N,” She called. You looked over at her and knew she saw what had just happened. “Max,” You started. “You can’t marry him.” She said. “He’s not going to do it again.” You said. “I’m not talking about that. There’s something he’s not telling you.” Max said. “What do you mean?” You asked.

Max knew she needed to tell you the truth about what Nick was planning. At this point, it wasn’t about getting you back with Steve anymore. It was about you not marrying someone who was going to lie to you.

[fiadorable]

Director’s cut for an ending unforeseen, please. Or breakfast and a show. Or both. 🙏❤️

Both. The answer is always both @curator-on-ao3

Ok, so I'd been looking for an excuse to write an ending unforseen pretty much since the pilot for strange new worlds aired. I couldn't believe the similarities between Pike and Kiley 279 and Janeway and the Caretaker. As strange new worlds progressed, I became more firm in my convictions. Two explorers, separated by over a hundred years and tens of thousands of light years, each with an incredibly tuned sense of justice and tragic proclivity for self flagellation (and clinical depression imo)... what more could I want??

Answer: time travel. The thing these two boneheaded captains love the most. I really needed Janeway to have that moment with Pike when he tells her she's doing a great job because she had so little opportunity for that external validation, and then for Janeway to also give Pike some of her relentless hope as he's preparing to go back to what he feels is his final hour. And the ending. Ugh. I made myself emotional with it. I feel like it's a hair too saccharine, but I dragged that poor man out of a catastrophic accident, dumped him on Voyager, and then had to have them send him back so like he deserves to know his sacrifice was not in vain?? That people respect him and honor his commitment to returning knowing what he's going back to, to have some of his compassion reflected back at him. God, the feelings.

I was a little nervous writing this fic for two reasons. 1) It had been eight years since I'd written Janeway and I was feeling a bit creaky in the characterization department and 2) I was dumping a lot of backstory into the summary so I could get on with the actual important part of the story which was not how or why the time travel worked. Neither of which were actually an issue, of course, everyone was quite lovely about everything. Even the way Janeway pulls Pike aside at the end for a private question just like she does to Chakotay in Shattered which I didn't realize I'd done until after I published OH WELL y'all are nice to not mock me relentlessly for that.

And then breakfast and a show was SO FUN to write, I genuinely enjoyed every second of it, which is, uh, rare lol. Since the show did a musical episode, it felt right to do a Pikeuna piece with Una and Pike. It was fun to use Pike's POV to describe the patter song and think she's perfect and gorgeous and The Best even if she's not much of a dancer. And I wanted them to feel a little "lived in" so I threw in the classic "quiet spouse scares the shit out of the focused spouse" gag.

Una is singing a Sondheim patter song (a fairy dies every time a Trek character mentions Gilbert and Sullivan and entire multiverses collapse when a Trek person sings Gilbert and Sullivan). They get into a mini food fight after Chris starts "helping" her finish up, but it ends with Una clearing the kitchen island with a single sweep of her arm and lifting Chris onto it to finish him off instead.

I find drabbles quite liberating in their constraints. The challenge to create a perfect soap bubble scene where the reader knows there's story that comes before and story that continues after, but this here is the most important, distilled part is just... chef's kiss.

send me an ask for more behind the scenes info on my fics

[ask-everafteracademy]

Sooo Lavinia? Thoughts? And if you could, is there anything you'd change about how they handled her character?

Ooh. Hm. Alright, full transparency, not the biggest Lavinia fan. And it's a shame really, because her route and her character did have a lot of great potential to it. My main issues were how the general plot with the flower charm felt recycled from Ezra's route (not the writer's fault, it likely wasn't planned for her to have a route at the time it was written), but it still felt kind of cheap. Also wasn't a fan of the way the lore and underlying plot of the series was glossed over. Yes, I'm aware that the purpose of Lovestruck was romance first, but when the rest of the routes focus a lot on the plot, having one that doesn't really makes it stand out in all the wrong ways. That and the way Lavinia was characterized left a lot to be desired. As an immortal powerful queen, you'd expect her personality to reflect that. However, throughout the route, she felt more like a whiny teenager going through a rebellious phase. Which sucks because again, she had so much potential. Still, I mean no disrespect towards Lavinia fans, she's clearly very popular so maybe it's just an us thing. But I'd much rather read Ezra's route, and I'm saying that as a lesbian lol

-Lightkeeper

I can appreciate how positioning a "villainous" character like Lavinia as a love interest helps us see the main cast from an opposing point of view, to showcase their flaws and a contrasting side to them, likely poising to make a statement on morality. It often was very entertaining to see everyone butt heads! I was really curious to see how she would have grown from villainous to perhaps virtuous, so I'm disappointed we'll never know now.

I have to agree with Lightkeeper in that a lot of Lavinia's route seems to borrow from Ezra's. Their relationship dynamics certainly resemble each other. Both began adversarial and argumentative, and through those arguments the LI warmed up once FMC earned their respect. Though Lavinia's feelings for FMC shift from respect into devotion when FMC proves she's a rare individual who extends her compassion and benefit of the doubt, and even faith in her ability to become a better person. EAA's overall theme of the transformative power of love rears its beautiful head once again. (At least, I hope I'm remembering their dynamic correctly.) Maybe upon closer reading, and a long overdue reread, of both routes, I'll be able to better appreciate the differences between Ezra's and Lavinia's romances.

Taken by itself, Lavinia's characterization was fun, as your sort of archetypal delinquent/bad girl hiding heartbreak this time with a fairytale twist, but it was sadly that—just sort of archetypal. Considering she's a centuries-old entity with fairy blood lacking a piece of her heart, I think it would've been really cool to see that reflect in the way she relates to and is seen by humans. Ethereal, whimsical, dangerous? Creepy and unsettling, imposing and mysterious and utterly alien. A force of nature rather than a petulant, brooding rebel without a cause. Anything to justify her fearsome reputation and the main cast's prejudice against her? (Unless that was based off nothing but hearsay, as it was with Ezra, which could have been the entire point! but that would undermine the theme of her story as outlined by her route summary)

Put simply, I wanted to see her character concept taken further, particularly her fae heritage, which would have made the route more fun for me in a few ways. This would have 1) more heavily foreshadowed the Titania twist and made the reveal more satisfying; 2) raised questions about nature vs nurture (after all, what is Lavinia's major?); 3) distinguished it more from Ezra's story, which is about a fundamentally good person whose reputation is smeared by a third party, and made it about someone whose bad reputation is deserved and who must earn her redemption; and 4) allowed us to witness a struggle to reconcile who Lavinia initially is with the image (FMC's image?) of an ideal partner, and from that starting point, watch her become that more suitable partner.

But this is a university setting, and a fluffy romance story. If molding the Ice Queen into a figure you'd be more likely to meet at university was the goal, then I would've liked to see some clearer justification for or exploration of why she's this emotionally stunted for an ancient queen. Something to do with her missing heart shard? Maybe that was coming down the pipe. Again, we'll never know.

Overall, I wasn't terribly fond, since I do have pretty specific tastes and I readily admit that I have my own strong biases. I'm sorry to disappoint anyone looking for a more wholly positive viewpoint! But I'm glad there are people who do love her.

– Pathfinder

[yellowlaboratory]

Oh my god. Kies first day at the kook academy was chapter 6?!!?!! If you’d told me it was like chapter 10-like 13 I would have believed u how has it been so long since then omg!! NOT that I’m complaining I will read as much of this fic as u will give me but like wow it’s long I didn’t even realise it was that early on that things started to go downhill!! Honestly when I think about the early chapters of this fic I always remember them being lil babies and having only read it once (that will be changing don’t worry), I thought them being babies lasted longer than it clearly did. Some specific memories I have of the early chapters: the flag pole race to tannyhill, and jj and kie making fun of John bs fan club on the dock at the chateau! Thinking of those moments in the fic is literally like they are my own vague childhood memories that’s so strange

my friend, I know. chapter 6 feels like a decade ago! when I went to check I was certain it was 9, and then I had to keep clicking the previous chapter button and i was like “oh no”

And I also thought I spent more time on the young Pogues than I did, lol. I never really re-read pltc myself because I’ll immediately spiral into a panic-induced editing fit, but when I have to look back for continuity or for references I always feel like the Young Pogue Chapters lasted a lot longer. the lil baby pogues were so much lol

And oh my lord, you are bringing up scenes even I forgot. The race at Tanneyhill! John B’s Fan Club! The Pogue Lyfe T-Shirt Company, for all of John B’s Rejects. God, it really does feel like a while ago. I know what you mean when you say they feel like your own vague memories - every time someone mentions something in the first couple of chapters, I’m like “oh yeah I remember that” and it’s all nostalgic and stuff. the fact that you also feel that way literally blows my mind. the fact that you pay enough attention to it enough to remember it is insane. 

thank you so much, anon, this ask made my day 🥰 I’ll be panicking about the nostalgia of pltc and the fact that it’s ending if anyone wants to join me.

[potsandpains]

practically perfect in every way hotch x reader

AN: alrighty y’all I have no fetching clue what I’m doing I just have many thoughts and need to get them out. This will likely have 2-3 parts depending on how long-winded im feeling. i whipped this thing out in one sitting and haven’t proof read it at ALL so please be patient with me lol.

Jack is 6 at the beginning of this bc I feel like it, and Haley is dead. rip. Hotch is around 40ish, reader is 25-26ish.

summary: Aaron Hotchner is looking for a nanny for his son. As luck would have it, the perfect candidate finds her way into their home through a perfect accident. 

CW: None :)

Part 2:

Part 3:

Part 4:

Closing the book he just finished, Aaron Hotchner stood from the desk in his study to return it to the shelf. It was then that he heard a soft knock on the doorframe.

“Hey.” Y/n was leaning in the doorway, looking at him somewhat nervously. “Do you have a sec?”

“Of course,” he replied “what can I do for you? Is everything alright?”

“Oh yeah I’m just fine,” she said “I just had a question for ya.” She took a step into the study, fiddling with her hands a bit, her nervous look still persisting. “So you know that I was planning on moving in with Braden in the next few weeks, right?”

He nodded.

“Well,” there was an awkward pause. It seemed she didn’t quite know how to phrase things. “That is no longer happening. To make a very long and very stupid story short, we broke up.” 

His eyebrows shot up in surprise. He nearly dropped the book he hadn’t realized he was still holding. “Oh y/n I’m sorry to-”

“It’s fine,” she interrupted quickly. Hotch didn’t really believe her, but she continued before he had the chance to ask. “Anyway, I let the landlady know and she’s letting me out of the leasing agreement because she has a waiting list. The only problem is that my lease at my current place is up in a week and it’s too late for me to renew it. Soooo effective next Tuesday I’ll be homeless.” 

He said nothing, just gave a tilt of his head as if to signal her to continue as he slid the book back into place on the shelf, crossing his arms over his chest as he listened.

“I wanted to ask -ugh this is so awkward, I’m so sorry- Could I maybe stay here? Just in the meantime? Once I’m on my feet and I have a place figured out I’ll be out of your hair I just don’t really know what else-”

“Absolutely.” He said with absolutely zero hesitation.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude on you and Jack-”

“Y/n, you stay here when I’m out of town for work and you’re here everyday anyway,” He said, offering a soft smile, “I’m fairly certain this house would fall apart without you, so having you here all the time would honestly be great.”

She grinned. “Fall apart without me? If I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re getting attached to me, Hotchner.” 

He returned her smile. “You know both Jack and I are quite attached to you, don’t get too cocky.”

She blushed. She was so pretty when she blushed. He should really tease her more if that was the result.

“Another option we could look at is that if you really wanted to, you don’t have to look for a new place,” he said somewhat quickly. He hoped he didn’t seem too eager. “If you wanted to be Jack’s live-in nanny you could live here in the house. I could up your pay too, to reflect the change in your job title, if that helps.”

Y/n’s face broke out into another wide smile. “I would love that. Are you sure that’s okay?”

“I’ll double check with Jack, but I’m sure he’ll be thrilled.”

 “Ahhh thank you! You won’t regret it I promise” She gave a happy little squeal and tackled him in a hug, wrapping his arms around his neck and pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

Hotch froze. It was now his turn to blush.

She slowly withdrew her arms, an embarrassed smile on her face. “Sorry about that. I guess I got a little carried away.” She murmured, looking down at her feet. “Thank you so much, Aaron. I really appreciate it.” She quickly left the study, refusing to meet his eyes. 

He was left standing next to his bookshelf, blushing like an idiot. She had called him Aaron. 

He had long been infatuated with his son’s nanny, but he didn’t realize that her simply saying his name could make him feel so blushy. He had it bad. 

/ / / / /

18 months prior

Aaron, sitting at the desk in his study, looked over a recently submitted resume for a Ms. Williamson, who apparently had a degree in human development and family studies from an out of state community college. Her work experience was limited, but she seemed normal enough. He took a picture of her resume and texted it to Garcia.

AH: How about this one?

She replied almost immediately

PG: No go, boss. Looks like she never actually graduated and dropped out a few semesters in. She also has a handful of public indecency arrests and from what I can see is an active participant in a pyramid scheme. Who spends $40 on a bottle of shampoo?

He huffed out an exasperated sigh, tossing the paper onto a stack of other “no go” resumes. Aaron had been looking for a nanny for Jack for a very, very, very, long time. Longer than he cared to admit. Jess was always so kind to watch him, but he felt like he needed someone to help lighten the load, and he didn’t want Jess to feel like she always had to be available for his crazy work schedule. 

Many applicants for the job were under-qualified (seemingly shocked that “babysitting” their roommate’s cat wasn’t adequate enough of an education) or unable to pass the incredibly thorough background check he had Garcia run on them. Who knew so many daycare workers had gambling issues?

Aaron’s paranoia about leaving Jack was already incredibly high due to his job, and he didn’t want that paranoia heightened due to leaving his son with someone he couldn’t trust to take care of him. 

Exhausted with his failed search, he stood up from his desk and hollered for Jack. “Hey buddy, do you want to go to the park?”

Since this was the first time Aaron hadn’t been called on a weekend case in ages and he was definitely not going to waste it staring at resumes. He and six-year old Jack had brought a frisbee and a soccer ball, and he was determined to burn off as much of Jack’s never-ending energy and tire him out enough so he could go to bed early.

The park was popular for a reason, it catered to many different interests. There was a playground, a sand volleyball court, pickleball courts, a wide grassy field, and a long concrete track that looped around the park. In short, it was never empty.

About an hour into their time there, Aaron was sure that he was the one burning all his energy, and that Jack somehow acquired a bottomless supply. 

Taking a break from kicking the ball back and forth, they had started a new game. Aaron, sitting on the ground, would throw the frisbee as far as possible, and Jack would run as fast as he could to get to it before it touched the ground. Aaron was sitting on the grass right behind one side of the cement track, and if he threw the frisbee hard enough he could manage to get it to the other side of the track, some thirty feet ahead of them. 

It was a win-win situation. Aaron got to sit, Jack got to run around like a maniac, everyone was happy. 

This was until after a particularly far throw Jack decided it was his turn to sit and that his Dad needed to run after the frisbee. Aaron conceded. After all, how far could Jack throw?

Aaron stood about ten feet in front of Jack, ready to run after the frisbee. He had explained to Jack how to throw it, but being only six he didn’t expect him to be a professional quite yet.  

“Alright bud, you got it! Throw it really hard so daddy has to run for it!”

Smiling mischievously, Jack replied ‘I’m going to throw it with ALL my muscles.”

“Okay buddy,” Aaron laughed, “use ALL your muscles then.”

Jack gave what can only be described as a full-body wind up with indeed ALL of his muscles. However, instead of releasing the frisbee at the forward end of his throw towards his dad, he let go as his arm swung back, sending the frisbee careening behind him and right into the head of a jogger on the track, knocking her off balance and sending her tripping downward onto the concrete, scraping her knees and twisting until she landed on her back. 

Oh no. 

Oh no.

Aaron was already running towards the jogger as Jack flipped around and realized what had happened. He got to her side and knelt beside her as she sat up. “Oh my goodness I am sorry. Are you okay?”

She blinked a few times, eyes watering, then surveyed her scraped knees and hands.

“I… I’ve been better. But I’m okay. All good.”

Aaron was so worried about the injured (and distractingly pretty) stranger laying on the concrete that he barely noticed Jack standing behind him, observing the stranger’s injuries, tears forming in his eyes and beginning to cry. Sympathy tears were Jack’s specialty, and this poor woman was about to be a witness to them.

“I’m sorry,” He sniffed, “I didn’t mean to hit you.”

The jogger’s attention immediately snapped to Jack. “Oh hey bud, it’s alright,” She got up, wincing slightly, and knelt next to Jack, “I know you’re sad that I fell, but I know that it was an accident. It’s okay.” 

Jack, still crying, threw his arms around the stranger’s neck. “Daddy said it’s wrong to hit people and I was just trying to use all my muscles so I could be strong. I didn’t know you were there.”

She smiled. God, she had a nice smile. Putting her arms around Jack she replied “I believe you dude, I believe you. And you definitely used ALL your muscles there. You must be pretty strong.”

Jack let go and withdrew his arms and nodded, still sniffing through tears. “Not as strong as dad. Or spiderman.”

“Spiderman is pretty strong,” she said, “and I’m sure your dad is too. What’s your name?”

“Jack.”

“Well Jack, it’s nice to meet you. My name’s y/n. Thanks for making sure I was okay, that’s very nice of you. Do you need another hug, or are you okay?” She asked with a soft smile.

Aaron watched this interaction with utter fascination. This complete stranger was likely concussed due to the actions of his son, yet she was asking him if he was okay? 

He was still kneeling when the jogger, y/n, turned to him and stood. He rose to meet her. 

“I’m so sorry, what was your name?”

“Aaron. Hotchner. Jack’s my son. Sorry again.”

“It’s okay, really, these things happen. Good thing you got me at the end of my run though because if this happened at the beginning I definitely would not have kept going” she said, laughing.

Aaron was suddenly filled with a large desire to keep the conversation going, no matter how awkward it became. He told himself it was because she seemed like a natural with Jack, and had nothing to do with her nice smile, pretty eyes, or cute laugh. It definitely had nothing to do with her long, toned, runners legs. At least that’s what he kept trying to think.

“I’m sorry we got you at all, but I’m glad our timing was good at least.”

“Impeccable timing, that’s for sure.” 

“Do you live nearby? Can I get you patched up, or at least an ice pack for your head?”

“I'm decently close, I’m living a few miles south of here.”

“Can we give you a ride home? I think we’ve had enough excitement for today.”

She tilted her head and smiled, looking him up and down. He felt like she was deciding whether or not she could trust the father of the small child that nearly assassinated her via frisbee. An absolute stranger, really. Having made up her mind, she said “Sure, that would be great. My first aid kit definitely isn’t well stocked though, so can I take you up on an ice pack and a few bandaids?”

“It’s the least I can do.”

After finding the attempted murder weapon (aka the frisbee), the three of them got into Aaron’s car and made their way to the Hotchner household. 

It was on this drive that Aaron learned that y/n was working as a nanny for a family in their neighborhood, but that her contract was nearly up and she wasn’t sure what her next step was. She had worked for them for the past year and had loved the little girl she watched. It was her day off apparently, which is why she was running in the park.

After careful questioning Aaron learned that she had degrees in communications and human development, and had done research on behavioral therapy and was a certified childcare provider both in Washington DC and in Virginia. 

He couldn’t believe his luck.

Patching up scapes and verifying that she didn’t in fact have a concussion led to such good conversation (mostly about spiderman, soccer, and frisbee thanks to Jack) that she stayed for dinner, dessert, and until Jack went to bed. 

After tucking him in, Aaron ducked into his study and sent another text to Garcia.

AH: I’m sorry it’s late, I have a new one for you. Her name is Y/N Y/L/N. Anything I should know?

A reply came immediately. 

PG: Give me two minutes boss-man, If there’s dirt I’ll find it.

Aaron waited somewhat impatiently for two entire minutes before sending an additional text. 

AH: Garcia??? 

He wasn’t expecting the incoming phone call from the tech analyst that lit up his phone. He picked up.

“Hey,” he whispered, “You’ll have to make this quick and be quiet if you can.”

“Can do, sir. Just wanted to let you know you’ve found the modern day Mary Poppins.”

“What?”

“She’s ‘practically perfect in every way.’ get with the program sir, I thought you’d know Disney references since you have a kid, but I guess you can’t be that rugged and be well versed in classic Disney cinema.”

“Garcia.” 

“Anyway! This girl seems like a dream come true. Graduated with honors, well liked and respected by her peers and professors. She’s done clinical research on child psychology and looks like she frequents the local library possibly more than our own Dr. Reid. Oh! And she has a great driving record and zero criminal record to be found. And hey I’m sure you’ve seen her but she’s hot as hell too from her pictures and-”

“Thank you, that’s all I need. Have a good night!” He hung up the phone briskly, blushing from her last statement. 

She was perfect. He mentally thanked whichever deity was responsible for guiding a frisbee into this woman’s head and into his and Jack’s life. 

He came down the stairs to find y/n looking at the framed pictures on the mantle. There were some of Jack, the two of them together, and one of Haley. 

He quickly (and not very smoothly) mentioned that he was looking for a nanny for Jack. She laughed at the perfect timing of their meeting. 

“Well, it sure seems like you know who to call.” She said.

“Would you be interested? Really?” 

“Half the battle in choosing a family to nanny for is finding both kids and parents I can get along with. Just meeting you two was enough to convince me that you’ll be great. Do you need to talk about it with your wife first?” She said, tilting her head towards Haley’s picture on the mantle.

Aaron looked away, not really sure how to broach the subject. “I’m not married. Not anymore anyway” 

Y/n nodded. “I’m sorry if that was insensitive. I didn’t see a ring earlier, but I just wanted to double check because of the picture.”

“I appreciate you checking. That’s very considerate of you. But no, should be just fine. We can figure out salary and start dates another time if that’s okay? It’s getting late and I should probably get you home. Could I get your number before we go? I’ll be sure to give you a call when I’m free.”

“That sounds good to me! I’ll look forward to it” She gave him another warm smile and took a step forward, putting her hand out.“Only seems fair that we shake on it, right?” 

Aaron couldn’t help but smile back as he clasped his hand in hers. 

He had a very good feeling about this.

[leossmoonn]

Enough

masterlist 

pairing - jess mariano x fem!reader

type - angst, fluff

note / request - request by anon “Hi! Can you write a Jess fic where his girlfriend meets his ex (Rory obv not Shane) and kinda gets jealous and insecure because Rory seems perfect and everything. And feels like Jess may not be over her so she wants to break up with him. You decide how it ends. Sorry if it's too detailed and it's okay if you don't write. I love your work btw you're really talented.” thank you so much for this request! i hope you liked the ending,,,, enjoy! 

summary - can you believe jess when he tells you he’s over rory? 

warnings / includes - mild and suggestive language, fighting, crying, heavy make out scenes + alluding to sex, this is like 7 years into the future (yall are like 23 lol)

————

*gif isn’t mine*

she was perfect. even more perfect than jess had made her out to be. with her baby blue eyes, soft brown hair, and cute, little smile, no wonder why jess had fallen in love with her within the second he met her. hell, if you liked girls, you were sure you would do the same. but instead of falling in love with her, you were worried about jess falling in love with her again. 

“ror, this is y/n. y/n this is rory.” 

ror — that nickname that you could tell held so much meaning to him. 

“hi! oh, my gosh, it’s so nice to meet you,” she smiled. 

of course she was nice. only bad boy delinquent jess would fall in for nice girls. 

“you, too,” you gave her a tight smile. 

“he finally found someone to settle down with, hm?” she teased. “y/n’s great,” jess smiled, wrapping his arm around your waist. 

you glanced at him, chuckling at his words. you turned back to rory, nervously playing with your necklace jess had given you. 

“so, how has writing been going?” rory asked. “great. how about journalism?” he asked. 

“it’s been great. my boyfriend, logan, actually got me an internship at his dad’s office. he’s somewhere, i don’t know where,” rory chuckled, looking around the apartment.

“wow. it’s nice to have connections,” jess said. “you know, i could get you an internship, too,” rory offered. 

oh, great. and now she was trying to dazzle him by offering him a well-paying job. 

“oh, no, no. i’m happy where i am now. y/n’s job helps pay rent,” he looked at you proudly. 

“what do you do, y/n?” rory asked. “oh, um, i’m a lawyer,” you answered. 

“i bet that’s fun,” rory joked. “it can be,” you nodded. “it’s lots of reading, though.” 

“oh, i love reading,” rory smiled. “so jess has told me,” you laughed sourly. 

“tell them about your recent case, baby,” jess nudged you. 

“oh. well, i saved a kid from being sentence to twenty years in jail,” you said. 

“wow. that’s amazing!” rory exclaimed. “thank you,” you chuckled. 

“there’s more to the story. y/n just doesn't like to talk about work after hours,” jess said. 

“oh, i don’t blame you,” rory said. “how long have you been working at your boyfriend’s father’s office?” you asked. 

“a couple years now. i’m looking to move to a bigger place,” she said. 

“well, i hope you can make that happen,” you said. “if you’ll excuse me, i have to use the ladies room.” 

“no problem. it’s down the hall, to the left,” she directed. 

“thanks,” you nodded, slipping away from jess’s warmth and walking quickly to the bathroom. 

you put your glass of champagne on a random tray a waiter was carrying, storming into the bathroom and locking the door. you washed your face, looking at your reflection as you dried your skin. you wanted to punch the mirror, break all the stupid statues and pictures on the walls and shelves. and most of all, you just wanted to leave, but you couldn’t. you just got there.

you didn’t want to ruin jess’s night either just because you were feeling insecure. it was obvious that he didn’t care for rory. his eyes had been mostly on you the whole night, his arm around you, his lips pressing little pecks to your cheek every time you left a conversation to join another. but something in your brain told you that he was trying to make rory jealous and that this was all for show.

he never was this touchy with you in public, anyways. well, he was, he just never was this sincere in public. it made you worry. was this his game plan all along? dazzle rory with his independence as a writer, show you off as a trophy, and then leave you to “go to the bathroom”, only to go to rory’s room with her? it was unfair to think this way. you knew jess was a little bit of a playboy, but throughout your two years, he had been nothing been faithful to you. this was all in your head, right?

“y/n, baby? are you in here still?” jess’s voice sounded on the other side of the door.

“y-yeah. sorry, i drank a little too much,” you chuckled.

you threw the paper towel away, adjusting your dress and jewelry before you opened the door. jess stood there, looking worried sick.

“are you okay? you’ve been off ever since we got there,” he said.

you chuckled at his bluntness. “yeah, i’m okay. you know me, i don’t like these types of parties. everyone is rich and snotty and just not my crowd.”

he laughed, nodding in agreement. “i understand. i hate these types of people, too.”

you rolled your eyes. “please, you fit right in.”

“oh,” he gasped, putting his hand on his heart. “how dare you group me in with these low-lives.”

you smiled, “sorry. it had to be said.”

he smiled back, reaching his hand out and clasping yours. “do you want to leave?”

you shrugged, “we’ve only been here for an hour.”

“but it feels like three, right?”

“you know me so well,” you smiled.

“well, that’s why we’re soulmates, right?” he hummed.

your heart warmed at his words. he only ever said this to you at home while you two were in bed, usually when you two were naked and cuddling. to hear him say something like that when you two were surrounded by people with all the lights on was so special. all your doubts seemed to disappear in an instant.

“right,” you nodded. “let’s go then, shall we?” he suggested.

you nodded, letting him lead the way. you two stopped a few times to say goodbye to people, finally reaching rory and her boyfriend, who were the hosts of the party. it would be rude to leave without bidding goodbye to them.

“hey, i’m logan.” the blond shook both of your hands, flashing you a charming smile.

“nice to meet you,” you smiled back politely.

jess’s hand tightened around your waist as he gave logan a tight smile.

“so, this is the infamous jess mariano,” logan stated.

“guilty as charged,” jess laughed.

“well, you have an amazing taste in women,” logan looked to rory and then you.

rory blushed in response, nudging logan and telling him to play nice. you gave him a flattered smile, definitely not expecting him to be such a flirt, but it wasn’t surprising. rory most definitely had a type.

“what can i say. she’s beautiful,” jess gushed.

you turned to him, a little shocked he was staring at you. you didn’t know why you were so shocked, of course, he would be staring at you. it just made you even more relieved.

“oh, you guys are so cute!” rory squealed.

you turned back to her, giving her the first genuine smile you had given anyone the whole night.

“thank you. so are you two. what a good looking couple y’all are,” you returned the compliment.

“it’s all her,” logan hugged rory, looking down at her.

your smile grew wider. logan was truly in love with rory. it was heartwarming to see that, especially after a long and boring night.

“well, we’re gonna get going. thanks for inviting us, ror,” jess said.

“oh, no problem! you know, we should all have lunch together,” rory suggested.

“um, sure,” jess nodded, looking to you. your words got caught in your throat for a second. you gulped, looking back to logan and rory’s expectant faces.

“yeah, sure. that’d be great.”

“i’ll call you when we set something up,” rory said.

“looking forward to it. see you soon,” jess put his hand up and waved.

“see you guys,” you said, turning as quick as you could to walk out.

“are we really gonna have lunch with them?” you asked as you got into the car.

“why not?” jess shrugged. “you really want to have lunch with your ex?” you asked.

“i mean, it might be awkward, but we dated like, six-seven years ago. i’ve moved on, she’s moved on. no need to be worried.”

and there he went, talking straight to your insecurities. he looked at you and you could tell he had noticed your distrust from the moment you had left the house earlier that night.

he put his hand on your thigh as he started the car, not taking it off the whole car ride. as soon as you got into your apartment, jess pushed you against the wall and kissed you.

you gasped in surprise, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer. his hands wrapped around your waist, clutching your sides and dipping you down slightly, deepening the kiss.

you went to stand up straight, grabbing his tie without breaking the kiss and leasing him to the bedroom.

you two took off your clothes, only breaking the kiss when jess had to pull his shirt over his head. you sat down on the bed, putting your hands on his face, cradling his head. your fingers ran across his jawline, giving him butterflies with the tenderness of your touch. meanwhile, you kissed him roughly.

you scooted up on the bed, taking jess with you. he crawled on top of you, settling in between your legs. his hands ran across the seams of your underwear, enjoying the feel of the lace on his fingers and your soft skin.

your hands went down to his boxers, beginning to pull them down, but he stopped you. he set his forehead on yours, looking you straight in the eyes. you gave him a quizzical look, waiting in anticipation for his words.

“i know you were a little intimidated by rory, i just want you to know —”

“i wasn’t intimidated. sure, i was insecure, but —”

he cut you off with a quick kiss. he then looked back into your eyes. you smiled in embarrassment, deciding to stay quiet this time.

“i just wanted to tell you that you have nothing to worry about. i love you, i am in love with you. you are unmatched, and i never am going to leave or whatever for rory, not for anyone. you’re mine, baby.”

tears welled up in your eyes. you blinked them away, jess wiping them away as soon as they slid down the sides of your face. he pressed a gentle kiss to your nose.

“you’re all i could ever ask for, y/n,” he whispered.

“you’re so sweet,” you laughed quietly.

“only for you,” he hummed.

you sniffled, a bright smile lighting up the pitch-black room.

“kiss me,” you demanded in a whisper.

he did as you told, sweeping your lips into the best kiss of your life.

————

“you think this looks okay?” you asked.

“you look gorgeous,” he said.

“ugh, you’ve said that about every dress!” you groaned. you slipped the dress off, shoving it roughly down your legs. you stepped out of it, folding it up and placing it back onto your bed in the pile of rejected dresses.

“i think you should wear that,” jess pointed to your lingerie.

you looked down at the black strapless bra you had on. you looked back up at him, giving him a sexy smirk. you sauntered over to him, swaying your hips and working the matching black panties. you put your knee in-between his legs and placed your hands on his shoulders.

“you think? i don’t know, i feel like i’d be cold,” you cocked your head to the side.

“i could keep you warm,” he said. he put his hands on your waist, his thumb running along the top of your underwear. “man, you look so good. too good, really.”

“i can’t help it,” you shrugged with a smile.

“good,” he smiled back. he pressed his lips to yours, kissing you slowly.

you moaned softly in his mouth. your hands ran through his hair, messing all the hard work he did up for the lunch you two were supposed to be leaving for.

“you think they would mind if we’re late?” jess mumbled as he kissed you.

“i think so,” you nodded. you pulled away, sucking on his bottom lip and pulling it out ever-so-slightly before releasing it.

he opened his eyes, seeing that they were in a daze and clouded with lust. you smiled cheekily, stepping away and walking back to the closet.

“don’t go,” jess whined.

“sorry, lover boy. i gotta get dressed,” you said.

he got up from his spot on the bed, walking over to you and wrapping his arms around you from behind. he set his chin on your shoulder, pecking your cheek.

“i could be your clothes,” he whispered.

you giggles, holding his arms close to you. “maybe after lunch.”

“is that a promise?”

“we’ll see,” you smiled. you craned your head back to kiss his lips. you pulled away, focusing on picking out an outfit.

you spotted a dark sea-green dress. its material was satin-like. it was light and breathable, but you knew it also would hug your body in all the right places.

“i think i’ll try this on,” you said, picking it out.

you handed the hanger to jess, unzipping the back and stepping into his. jess helped you zip it up and you tied the little strings into a bow that sat in the middle of the dress, right on top of your breasts. you made sure it was tight as the strings weaved up from the waist. you didn’t want your boobs to fall out.

the sleeves puffed up and went off the shoulder in an elegant, medieval-type way. the dress went just past your knees, flowing gracefully as you twirled around.

you faced jess, wanting to know his opinion on the dress. you didn’t even have to ask what he thought. it was written all over his face.

“w-wow. you look… wow,” he gasped.

you giggled bashfully, looking at him through your lashes shyly.

“”wow”, huh?” you teased.

he nodded vigorously. “wow.”

“well, thank you. it’s nothing special, though. it’s just a solid color with some ruffles on the sleeves,” you turned back to the mirror.

“no, babe. it’s wow. man, please wear this dress more. you look amazing. when did you buy this? i’ve never seen you in this,” he said.

“i bought it a couple months ago, i think. i bought it for a work party, but it got cancelled so i’ve never gotten to wear it,” you explained.

“well, i’m glad you agreed to this lunch.”

“like rory gave me any choice,” you snorted.

“you’ll have fun. you always do when there’s food involved. are you ready to go?” he asked.

“yeah, let me just get some shoes on,” you nodded.

you went back to your closet, slipping on black heels, and grabbed a black purse, swinging it over your shoulder. you met jess at the front door, using the elevator to get down to your car.

jess drove you two to the restaurant. it had only been a week since the dinner party. rory had called jess to invite you two out to lunch to a fancy-sounding place in new york. jess parked in a parking garage once you got there. you two walked down a couple of blocks to the restaurant, telling the hostess who you were with.

“they’re seated right over here,” she said.

you and jess followed the hostess to a table right next to the window.

“hey!” logan exclaimed, jumping out of his seat.

“hi,” you smiled.

logan gave you a quick hug and kiss on the cheek, shaking jess’s hand briefly before letting rory greet you two. rory gave you a side hug, pecking your other cheek lightly. you watched as she hugged jess, pulling him close and kissing his cheek, her lips lingering.

jess pulled away in a timely fashion, immediately sitting down next to you.

“i love your dress, y/n,” rory gushed.

“oh, thank you. i love yours, too.” you looked her up and down. she looked beautiful.

she was wearing a dark purple dress that came just above her knees. the sleeves sat right on her shoulders, the neckline was square and dipping down to show her flawless skin. it brought out her blue eyes, making them even brighter than you remember.

“you clean up nicely,” logan smiled at jess. “thanks. i don’t have many, uh, fancy clothes,” jess admitted.

you looked over your boyfriend, biting your lip unconsciously as you admired him. he was wearing a black shirt with a navy blue blazer and jeans. he wasn’t in a casual suit like logan was, but he didn’t need to be. jess was handsome all on his own. 

“nah, you don’t need them,” logan assured him. 

jess gave him a smile in reply, averting his gaze to the menu. 

“so, any new and interesting cases since we last spoke?” rory asked you. 

“nope. just a few simple murder trials,” you said. 

“you seem so casual about that,” logan chuckled. you shrugged, “i’ve been doing this for a year. you get used to it.”

“oh, i could never get used to that. i could cry on the stand all the time,” rory said. 

“yeah, you have to have thick skin,” you nodded. 

“do you have anything in the drafts, jess?” logan asked. “a few things,” jess said. 

“mind telling us one of your ideas?” jess sat up in his seat, trying to shake the uncomfortableness he felt while being put on the spot. “i don’t know… maybe another —” 

“no, i bet they’re amazing! i remember one of the short stories you wrote when we were together. man, i still want a copy for that if you have it,” rory raved. 

you raised your brows, looking at jess. “you’ve never showed me any of your works.” 

“oh, well, they’re a lot worse now that i’m older, weirdly enough,” jess chuckled. 

“tell us about the one you showed me, then,” rory urged. 

“yeah, jess, tell us about the one you showed her,” you taunted. 

jess looked at you, giving you a small glare. you raised your brows at him, challenging him. your patience was already growing thin.

“alright. well, it’s a love story,” jess started out. “oh, i love those!” logan smiled. 

“yeah,” jess chuckled. “it’s about this guy who is an asshole. i mean, he is the worst. but one day he meets a girl who changes him forever.”

you had to hold in a scoff. of course, this story was about rory. it was all over his face, and hers. jess stared at rory while telling the summary, earning smiles and laughs from her every time he made a joke. you looked at logan, trying to see what his reaction was, but it seemed like he wasn’t bothered at all. he had more confidence in his relationship than you did. 

you looked back at jess, your heart tearing to shreds at the way he was looking at her. he was looking at her the same way he looked at you, even more in love, if anything. his pupils were wide and filled with nostalgia. the smile on her face was one you wanted to slap off. she looked so happy, so smug to hear him inadvertently talking about their relationship. you didn’t know if you could sit here for another hour and a half. 

“anyways, it’s a silly story. it was never really going anywhere,�� jess shrugged. 

“i think it’s good. it’s cute. it reminds me of first love-type relationships,” logan commented. 

first love: what rory was to jess. 

“i’m going to go and use the bathroom.” you stood up suddenly, not wasting any time. 

you went into a stall, shutting the door and collapsing to the ground. you started to break down. 

a few moments past and you heard heels clicking on the floor. 

“y/n? are you okay?” rory’s voice echoed. 

oh, great. just what you needed.

“yeah. sorry, my stomach just really hurts,” you said, trying to clam yourself down. 

“can i come in?” she asked. 

you sighed and stood up. “i guess.” you opened the door for her, reveling her shocked and remorseful face. 

without saying anything, she pulled you into a hug. your eyes widened and you hesitated in hugging her back. she didn’t seem to notice or mind, though. she pulled away after a few moments, leading you to the sink. she grabbed a few paper towels, wetting them and cleaning up your running mascara. 

you swiped the towels away from her, giving her a glare and turning around. “i can clean myself up, thanks.”

rory sighed, “i know you don’t like me that much, but i just wanted to come in and explain myself.” 

“what do you have to say? this is between jess and i,” you spat. 

“i know, but i want to make you sure that i don’t mean any harm. i just get really nostalgic when i’m with old friends. i like to reminisce and whatever you saw back there was not what you think it was. i don’t love jess, i love logan,” she explained. 

you let out a sour laugh, turning around slowly. “this is not about you.”

“it kind of is, i —” 

“no, no, you see, i know you don’t love jess. i know you’ve moved on and that you’re with logan now. it’s just that… jess is still i-in love with you,” you said, voice cracking. 

rory gasped, “what? no.”

“yes,” you nodded. “that look her gave you when he was talking about that story. you probably didn’t notice, but man, he is whipped.” 

“y/n, he doesn’t love me. he is over me,” rory tried to convince you.

“bullshit,” you muttered. “and not that i blame him, though. i mean, look at you. you’re perfect. any guy would be lucky to have you.”

rory chuckled, “i am far from perfect, y/n.” 

“stop being so modest,” you rolled your eyes. “no, i’m serious,” she looked you in the eyes. 

“i home wrecked my ex-boyfriend’s marriage, i screwed up the plans my mom and i have made for me since i was like, 5 because i wanted my own identity. i went behind my mom’s back and threw our relationship in the trash. i cheated on my first boyfriend with, um, jess, actually. i-i left my childhood best friend and never made the effort to stay in touch,” she explained. 

“thank you for giving me a list of why you’re an asshole. it really helps,” you said. 

“no, but don’t you see! i’m not perfect, no one is! but you, you are. you are perfect for jess, you are so good for him. you’re the one who changed him,” she said. 

“no,” you shook your head. “yes,” she nodded. “sure, i showed him what a real relationship entailed, but i have never seen him so committed and so happy. i mean, we all know his home-life was never good and that he is insecure, but he lights up when he’s with you.”

you sighed, sniffling as tears ran down your face. “you think so?”

“i know,” she nodded.  “thanks,” you gave her a small smile. “of course. i would never try and get in-between something as special as what you and jess have,” she smiled. 

“have you guys ordered yet?” you asked. “yeah, jess ordered for you,” she nodded. 

“okay. give me a few moments and i’ll come out,” you said. 

“take your time,” she smiled. she squeezed your hand as she left. 

you looked into the mirror, cleaning up your makeup and calming down. you walked out, wearing new confidence.

“hey, babe,” you smiled at jess.

“hey. you okay?” he asked.

“yeah, period cramps, you know,” you chuckled.

logan laughed, “glad i don’t have to deal with those.”

“oh, they’re the worse. you know, the first time i got my period my stomach hurt so bad, i had to call my mom and pick me up from school,” rory giggled.

jess’s broke into a half-smile. he looked at you with distress. you weren’t due for your period in two weeks. did the story upset you that much? he wondered.

he slipped his hand into yours, squeezing your hand lovingly. you looked at him, smiling a little and letting him know you were okay with your eyes.

you turned back to rory and logan, conversing with them like you actually wanted to be there.

it wasn’t until you were saying goodbye when you got shot down again. jess hugged rory, giving her a longing look. your heart sunk in your stomach. rory was wrong. he wasn’t over her.

“come by the apartment sometime!” logan suggested.

“we definitely will,” you nodded.

you began to walk away, not bothering to wait for jess. he eventually caught up with you, slipping his arm around your waist and pulling you close as you walked to the car.

“did you have fun?” he asked.

“yeah,” you nodded, not looking at him.

“what’s wrong?” he asked.

“nothing,” you said, swiping the keys from jess and unlocking the car.

“wait,” he stopped you from getting into the car. “you only drive if you’re mad or we’re running late. i think this time you’re mad.”

“i’m not mad,” you said. “then what’s wrong?” he asked. “i know you’re not fine.”

“i’m not mad,” you repeated, then looking him in the eyes. “i’m hurt.”

his jaw dropped, brows furrowing into a confused, helpless look. “why, baby?”

“because you still love her.”

he sighed in irritation. “this again? i’ve told you —”

“the way you look at her!” you exclaimed.

“you cannot say i love her because of the way i look at her,” he argued.

“there’s something about the way you look at her. you-you miss her. you want her,” you stated.

“that is bullshit and you know this. why are you doing this? you want to rile me up or something? because if that’s what it is, then it’s working.”

“no!” you groaned, exasperated. “i am being serious. you are not over her. you want her back because you let a good thing go, and she was that good thing.”

“that doesn’t matter! i don’t care about her! why can’t you believe what i say? do you see how i look at you? god, i am so in love with you. just believe me,” he begged.

“i can’t,” you shook your head.

“stop being so difficult! please, i beg you, open your damn ears and listen to me!”

you pushed him away, tears rolling down your cheeks like a waterfall.

“ask logan and rory to take you home. maybe you can have your chance with her.” you swung the car door open, slipping in and slamming it shut.

“wait, shit. y/n! open the door, please!” jess banged on the window.

you ignored him, backing out and driving away. jess looked at the car with tears in his eyes.

“dammit,” he muttered.

————

“it’s not your fault, man. if she doesn’t believe you, then that’s her problem,” johnny, jess’s friend, said.

“it’s not her fault,” jess shook his head.

“you literally are telling her the truth and she’s acting like a b —”

“watch it,” jess glared.

johnny sighed, “look, if anything, she’s letting a good thing get away.”

jess shook his head, running his hands over his face in agony. “i just don’t know what to do to let her believe me.”

“just make love to her,” drew shrugged.

“this isn’t about sex, drew. it has to be special,” jess said.

“what is more special than sex?” drew asked.

“everything,” jess muttered.

“has she called you back yet?” johnny asked.

“no, but she texted me last night saying she wants to break up.”

“did you answer?”

“no,” jess sighed. “i-i don’t know what to say. i don’t want to break up. she’s the love of my life for christ’s sake! i can’t lose her because i yelled at her instead of working it out like adults.”

“jess, this is not your fault, i’m tellin’ you. she was acting all crazy, like girls do,” johnny said.

jess shook his head once more, trying to think of a way to make it up to you. it’s not like it was your fault per se, but he didn’t want to lose you because of your insecurities.

then, an idea lit up the lightbulb above his head. 

he got up from the couch, grabbing his coat and keys.

“where are you going?” johnny asked.

“win her heart back,” jess answered before fleeing johnny’s apartment.

“he’s insane,” drew muttered. “if i had the girl of my dreams, i’d do anything for her, too,” johnny sighed.

jess went to the supermarket and bought a bouquet of lilies, your favorite flower. he then went home and grabbed the mixtape he had made you. he had never shown you it as he was waiting to give it to you for your birthday, but he figured there was no better time than now to give it to you.

he drove back to your guys’ apartment. you had been staying there since the lease was in your name. he had moved out for a week and stayed at his friend’s, but tonight he was hoping he could move back in.

he unlocked the door, stumbling in and falling over his own two feet.

“hello, who is — oh, it’s you,” you frowned, standing in the doorway of your bedroom. “did you get my text? i assume you’re here to get the rest of your stuff.”

he shook his head, running over to your cassette and putting in your mixtape.

“hey! what are you doing?” you exclaimed, stomping over to him.

“just one second,” he said.

“you can’t just waltz in here acting like you own the place. you don’t…” your voice faltered as you heard the instrumental opening to louis armstrong’s what a wonderful world.

“wha-what is this?” you asked.

jess turned to you slowly, giving you a warm smile. he held out the bouquet of lilies to you. you took them in shock, putting them up to your nose and smelling them. you smiled at their sweet scent, making jess’s heart soar. it had been so long — too long — since he had seen your smile.

you looked to jess, putting the lilies down on the coffee table.

“what are you doing here?” you asked.

he didn’t say anything. he took your hand and intertwined his fingers with yours. he slipped his arm around the small of your back and started to sway along to the music.

“i don’t want to dance, jess.” you tried to pull away, but he just pulled you closer.

“please, let me make it up to you,” he begged.

you looked into his eyes. man, did you miss getting lose in those umber eyes. you missed all of him, honestly, so you nodded and relaxed with the music.

the next song started to play, making your heart grow ten times. it was elton john’s your song. it was the song that you and jess had your first dance to.

“i remember this moment,” you whispered, more to yourself than him.

“yeah, me too,” he nodded. “it was our second date and i had the radio on. i had just cooked the worse dinner for you, but you ate it anyways, complimenting my work as you attempted to eat burnt potatoes.”

you giggled, the taste of those burnt potatoes taking over your mouth. “yeah, they were awful.”

“and i remember feeling so awkward and so stupid. why did i agree to cook you dinner? i guess i wanted to impress you. boy, did that plan fail,” he chuckled.

“but then you made up for it by taking my hand and getting me out of my seat. ‘your song’ came on and we danced the whole four minutes and one second,” you said.

he nodded, looking deep into your eyes, making butterflies fly through your chest.

“you looked so beautiful that night,” he said in a whisper.

“i was wearing those ugly brown pants and a blue sweater. it clashed so bad,” you cringed.

“it doesn’t matter what you wear. you always look amazing. just like tonight. i love these pajamas.” he took his eyes off of yours for one second to look at the polar bear pants and tank top you had on.

“thanks. i was just getting ready for bed,” you chuckled.

“glad i came just in time, then.”

“yeah, you have great timing,” you remarked.

“you say that like it’s a bad thing.”

you shrugged, “sometimes it is.”

jess chuckled, not saying another word. unchained melody by the righteous brothers started to play right after elton’s song. you swayed to the music with jess, turning in slow circles to the beat. without really thinking about it, you put your head on jess’s shoulder, breathing in his scent and relaxing into his arms.

your hand came up to his back and you held him close. you closed your eyes, enjoying what you thought would be the last moments of your relationship with him.

“i love this song,” you hummed.

“i know,” jess said. his words vibrated through his chest, sending shivers down your spine as you felt them.

you put your head up as the saxophone sounded. you mouth fell open and you started to laugh.

“what?” jess asked. “y-you have carless whisper on this CD?” you giggled.

“well, it’s a mixtape. what’s wrong with it?” he asked.

you erupted into a fit of giggles. “i thought you hated me after that one time at the ice skating rink. remember? this song was playing with all those kids started making fun of you for falling so much.”

he shrugged with a small smile. “well, i know you like this song.”

you nodded, “that’s true. it’s weird that all these songs are from our memories.”

jess smirked knowingly. “yeah. so weird.”

you looked at him, giving him a confused look. “what? why’d you say it like that?”

he played it off. “say what like what?”

“you were like “so weird”. what am i missing here?”

“nothin’. are you tired?” he asked.

“yeah, i’m exhausted,” you sighed, laying your head back onto his chest. “i stayed up all night working. jill is so incompetent.”

“i’m sorry, baby,” jess said. he placed a sweet, long kiss onto your head.

you closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling.

“yeah, it’s fine. she’s getting fired soon.”

“are you going to celebrate when she does?”

“oh, hell yeah,” you nodded.

jess chortled, “mind if i join?”

you sighed, “i don’t know.”

jess stayed quiet, biting his lip so he wouldn’t speak. he had a whole speech he had been calculating in his head the moment he started to dance with you. he wasn’t about to fuck this up.

you didn’t even realize that the song had changed until jess started humming the tune. this time i can’t help falling in love by the famous elvis presley started playing.

“this is my favorite song,” you sighed happily.

“mine, too,” jess agreed. “it’s our song,” you smiled, a little melancholy.

“it can stay our song, you know,” he stated.

you hummed, debating whether or not to say yes. you were unsure of what was happening with your relationship now. you had acted like a paranoid bitch to him the other day and you had been embarrassed about it ever since. that paranoia didn’t leave, though, it just got worse.

there was just something about jess looking at rory at lunch that you couldn’t shake. and maybe your eyes played tricks on you, but you swore you could see it. you swore you could see the look of love on his face, and him denying it made you feel crazy and stupid. you wished you could just forget about it all now, but it was etched deep inside your mind. jess would have to dazzle you to make you believe him.

“i know that you think i’m not over rory,” he started.

it was like he had read your mind.

“i am, y/n. i am over her. i understand how you might feel a little insecure. i mean, when logan was complimenting you and whatnot at the dinner party, i wanted to rip his eyes out. but i know you and trust you. i love you too much to let a man simply flirting with you break what we have.”

“i love you a lot, too,” you mumbled. “i don’t want us to break up over this stupid thing, either. it’s just, i’ve heard a lot about rory from you and your uncle. you both made her out to seem perfect, and she is. i’m scared that one day you’ll think that i’m not enough and go after her and think she is.”

he listened to every word you said, hanging on to them and processing them. this was the first time you had opened up to him on the subject. you were almost as bad as him at talking about your feelings he was thankful you decided to speak your truth tonight.

“luke adores rory. everyone in that god forsaken town does. she’s their pride and joy, so don’t listen to him, but listen to me, okay?”

you lifted your head, facing him. you nodded, waiting nervously for him to speak.

“i did love rory. the story i told today was about her and me. she was my first love, admittedly. i know you hate to hear that, but it’s true. i don’t want to just sugarcoat stuff and act like what you were saying earlier was wrong, because it wasn’t. i did love rory. i was very much in love with rory. it took me a little while to get over her. i even tried to get her back a couple of years after we broke up. but i saw that she was happy with logan, and you know what? that was all i needed to get over her,” he explained.

he was right. you didn’t like hearing about this, but you had a feeling you would like the end of his speech. so you didn’t interrupt him or anything. you listened intently.

“then, three years later i met you. and man, were you something else,” jess chuckled. “you were always two steps ahead in making moves. you were so assertive and confident, i’ll be honest, i was so intimidated. i told johnny and drew how amazing you were every night, how lucky i was that you even looked in my direction. and when you kissed me the night after the first date, i was in. i think you knew that, too.”

you smiled sheepishly, nodding in admittance. “i did.”

he smiled back, holding your hand a little tighter with these next words.

“i am so in love with you, y/n. that look you saw me give rory, that was merely just my body reacting to the fact that i do love rory, i always will, but i’m not in love with her. but let me tell you,” he licked his lips, looking you straight in the eyes. “you are enough. you are so much more than enough. you are crazy smart, witty as hell, so supportive, sexy, confident, equally as horrible at cooking as i am. and you are just a sight for sore eyes. that’s the cherry on top.”

you smiled, your heart bursting at his words.

“please believe me, baby. as whitney houston said, “i will always love you.” he sang the words horribly, but tried his best nonetheless.

you couldn’t help but laugh. you nodded furiously. “i believe you.”

“thank you. i promise i will spend every minute of every day proving you are enough.”

“you don’t have to do that,” you smiled. “you’d like it though, wouldn’t you?” he smirked.

“i would,” you admitted.

“i love you so much, y/n. i will never get tired of saying that,” he said.

“i love you, too, lover boy,” you said, leaning in and pressing your lips go his.

you two swayed to the beat of the whitney houston song, kissing each other tenderly, as though it was your first kiss.

jess’s voice started to talk on the mixtape, surprising the both of you.

“happy birthday, my love. i hope you like this mixtape i made for you of all our songs. you deserve it.”

————

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