#also the vampires in this world can also be based on animals other than bats

[chirpins]

if you can share, how old is Alejandro in your fanfic “animals do not repent”? the line “he was no more than a teenager (albeit in human years)” is kind of confusing me

sooo ill be honest, it was lowkey more of a throwaway line. but this ask had me thinking, and i thought itd be kind of fun to try and incorporate it somehow into the world setting?

but its sort of difficult to figure it out in a way that isnt well.. weird.

im basing my fic to be somewhere around world tour time, so alejandro (and noah) are both seventeen (17) in human years. when people typically think of vampires, they imagine them to be very old (im talking like centuries old), and alejandro very well could be.

if we go with that, then id say he would be a teenager in vampire years as well, but in a more convoluted way. say, 117 years old instead, but the 17 is the important indicator.

but still, thinking of it that way, its like well lots of vampire romance never really delves into how these vampires are just.. way older than their love interests? (looking at you, twilight). and then, the line i included wouldnt make much sense.

then it had me thinking about how species age differently from humans in general, for example dogs; one year to a human is the equivalent of fifteen years to dogs. then i was like hmm, thatd still be pretty old if we went with that sort of logic in regards to vampires; i.e, me trying to doggify vampire years.

so then i was like, well what animals are associated with vampires? bats! it took me a while to figure out how bats work in terms of ages, since they hibernate. well, apparently bat years are younger than human years. perfect right?

.. theeen i figured out that 17 human years is the equivalent to 3/4 years in bat. which arguably is worse.. so its like.. lets just disregard that line in that context.

we can say that maybe old vampires view young ones as inherently more childish than their actual ages. lets say alejandros parents are significantly older than him, and that theres this whole hierarchy in terms of how long youve been a vampire (and given that only bloodborne vampires exist these days, alejandro would be considered the youngest vampire to date). this would give some ground to him feeling mature in his age, but those around him view him as a childish babyvamp, despite him not being so.

but then itd also be hard to incorporate other vampire things in regards to alejandro, since hed have to be so new to the world both vampirically and humanly.

so .. i should really stop zoning out when im writing, seeing as it led me to this sort of plothole. lets just stick with him being 17 for the sake of all our minds. im not mathmatically inclined enough to figure out a way to make it cool. ill probably go back and rewrite that line in a way that is less.. confusing.

hopefully this ask helped.. my head is spinning.

[sinosauropteryx--prima]

Spooky Species I: Vampire Bats

(first row: Common vampire bat, hairy-legged vampire bat, white-winged vampire bat; second row: Desmodus draculae in a ground sloth-cave (art by Daniel Boh), Desmodus stocki feeding on pygmy mammoths (art by Hondari Nundu); third row: vampire bat feeding, skull of a common vampire bat)

It‘s Halloween season, my favorite time of the year! What better way to celebrate than with spooky animals, and few are spookier than the vampire bats.

Since they are creatures of the night, bats have been associated with vampires and other monsters of myth and folklore for about as long as those legends have existed. However, it was Dracula, the most famous of all vampires, and his transformation into a giant bat, that really popularized the connection. When real blood-drinking bats were discovered in America in the early 19th century and their blood-based diet became known to the Europeans, this of course only solidified the association between the animal and the monster and inspired new myths surrounding them (Dodd, 2019).

The real vampire bats might not be as frightening as the fictional ones (although they can carry rabies, so argueably they are even more frightening), but they are still some of the weirdest and most specialized animals out there. First of all, they are amazing in the same way that all bats amazing: Bats are the second-most diverse group of mammals with more than 1,400 species, only surpassed by rodents. They are the only mammals that have evolved powered flight. They echolocate. For their small size they have ridiculous long life spans (up to 30 years and more). What is not to love?

The thing that separates the three species of vampire bats from all other bats (and other mammals), is obviously their blood-feeding. Unlike their fictional counterparts, they don‘t actually suck blood. Instead they create a small wound with their horrifyingly shaped incisors and then lick up the blood. While they do that, a substance in their saliva keeps the blood of their victims running and the wound open. Once the bats start feeding, their kidneys have to work overtime to quickly extract as much water from the food as possible. Otherwise they would get to heavy to fly away.

Other adaptions for their lifestyle include heat sensors on their nose, that basically give the bats infrared vision and help them find the best spots to drink from on their victims, and the fact that vampire bats, especially when compared to other bats, are very agile on the ground. On a little side note: They are also known to share blood with each other: If one bat had an unsuccessful hunt, another bat in the roost might help them out by regurgitating some blood and letting them feed on it - which somehow is both adorable and absolutely disgusting at the same time.

(Common vampire bat walking, running and jumping)

As a paleontology obsessed person, my question now is of course: How the fuck did this happen? What lead to vampire bats having such a specialized lifestyle? This is not an easy questions to answer, mostly because we don‘t have a very good fossil record of bat evolution.

There are many hypothesis that could explain the transition to blood-feeding: They could have fed on insects (or other parasites), that were attracted to the wounds of bigger animals (or caused them), so the bats eventually started feeding on the bigger animal. They could have evolved from already vertebrate-hunting ancestors. They could have started out as nectar-feeders that switched to another liquid. They could have evolved from fruit-eating bats that already had weird teeth for opening fruits (Riskin, 2023).

It does not help that the family vampire bats belong to, the New World Leaf-nosed Bats, are among the most diverse among all mammals, at least in terms of feeding strategies: There are carnivores, omnivores, frugivores (fruit), nectivores (nectar), insectivores (insects), and of course sangivores, the blood-eating vampire bats. In the diagram below you can see how diverse they as a group really are (even just their skulls differ so much from each other), as well as what each bat feeds on.

(family tree of the New World leaf-nosed bats. It is believed that the first 8 branches (Macrotus-Trinycteris) had a common ancestor that look similar to Macrotus/Micronycteris and primarily ate insects and some plant material. The symbols show the main food source for the group (moth = insects; droplet = blood; opossum = vertebrates; flower = nectar; cherry = fruit). (Baker et al, 2012))

Since fossils are rare, scientists look at the species still alive today and compare their DNA with each other. By doing this they can estimate how much time would be needed for all the changes between species to occur. Basically they can look at a family tree like the one above and for each of the branches they can give you a more or less accurate time for when the split happened.

The position of vampire bats in these family trees suggests, that they most likely evolved from an insect-eating ancestor, and all the other feeding strategies evolved after they split from the rest of the group about 26 million years ago. So right now the most likely hypothesis for how blood-feeding evolved is the idea of the bats originally feeding on parasite/insects attracted to the wounds of bigger animals, then deciding to cut out the middleman and go for the bigger animal directly (Raskin 2023, Baker 2012).

Lastely, even though I didn‘t talk about fossils too much, there are some fossil vampire bats that we know of. Most famous is probably Desmodus draculae from the Pleistocene, the biggest known vampire bat ever with a wingspan of about 50 cm - named after the most famous vampire of all time.

[bowlingforgerbils]

what are aziraphalebat and Madness?

aziraphalebat is a good omens AU in which human!Crowley works at a greenhouse and rescues a little white bat who later turns out to be vampire!Aziraphale. It's mostly an excuse for me to describe Aziraphale as a cute little white bat, specifically a Honduran white bat, which are like little cotton balls of cuteness. I've only written what feels like the first third of the story, and I would like to finish it some day, maybe for Halloween. Here is a snippet:

He peered between the giant leaves of a dumb cane, but didn’t see anything suspicious. Then, suddenly, one of the hanging planters began to sway, the colorful petunias inside shaking as if caught in a breeze. Crowley let out a sigh of relief; it was probably just a small animal that got trapped in the greenhouse. Hopefully it wasn’t a rat. If it was a rat, then they’d have to put out traps, and Crowley wasn’t a fan of killing things.  

Trotting over to the swinging planter, he carefully unhooked it and brought it down to eye level. And, well, it wasn’t a rat, but for a couple of seconds, Crowley couldn’t make out what it was. Something white and furry with pointy ears that was all tangled up in the petunias.

“Fluffy little bastard, aren’t you,” he mused out loud, and the little creature froze, giving Crowley a better look at it. He caught sight of a pair of leathery wings and nearly dropped the planter. Holy hell, it was a bat!

***

Madness is a Pacific Rim fanfic, post-movie, in which the PPDC funds a Kaiju cloning project so that they can be studied in relative safety. Newton is very excited, Hermann not so much. My goal was to have Hermann finally admitted that the reason he was such a Debbie Downer about Newt's research was because he was terrified for his safety. It was also an excuse to write about a cute baby Kaiju that would be nice and not a threat to humanity. I only wrote up the setup scene and then lost steam for the rest. Here's the beginning:

It was madness. Hermann didn’t have another word for it; all those years the PPDC worked tirelessly to shut the Breach, to keep the world free of kaijus, and now they wanted to clone one?

Of course, he couldn’t just write MADNESS on a complaint form and slap it onto Marshall Hansen’s desk, so he managed to find several hundred more words and ordered them into a lengthy dissenting argument that regrettably relied less on solid, irrefutable math and more on his unshakeable opinion that cloning a kaiju was a bloody stupid idea.

His concerns were acknowledged then respectfully dismissed. And then dismissed again (not so respectfully) when he barged into Marshall Hansen’s office to register a complaint in person.

But the most infuriating part by far was Newton, who was so unbearably gleeful about the cloning project that he practically burst into song every time he mentioned it. “Can you imagine?” he crowed, waltzing around Hermann’s desk like a lovesick schoolgirl. “A living, breathing silicon-based lifeform that I’ll be able to study, up close and personal!”

“Oh yes, I can imagine it,” Hermann replied darkly, not bothering to look away from his computer screen. “I can imagine how utterly disastrous this entire enterprise will be, from beginning to end.”

“C’mon, don’t be a sore loser,” Newton cajoled, his enthusiasm not tempered in the slightest. “Just because you nearly peed your pants watching Jurassic Park doesn’t mean we should shy away from cloning—“

“And just because you bawled your eyes out when your uncle told you all dinosaurs went extinct has nothing to do with it either!” Hermann snapped, looking up at Newton and giving him his full attention. “The money being thrown at this project could be used much more effectively in other areas than some pointless—“

Unfortunately, attention was exactly what Newton wanted, as he interrupted with a sharp “Ha!” and leaned against Hermann’s desk.

[saltysunflowersugar]

sometimes I mix up MH (Monster High) with MHA (My Hero Academia) so I decided to make a crossover AU between them

Alrighg, so I’ll just start with some very basic info, all of the MHA kids go to Monster High, although I think the ghouls and monsters going to UA would also be cool and I guess that could be some other AU, also don't ask me if I'll be using the G1 or G3 Monster High lore, because not even I know. Also, as for the character designs, monster high doesn't have a uniform so I’ll put the characters in their casual clothes but add elements of their hero costumes to give it a more monster high energy

• it was a little hard to think of what kind of Monster Aoyama would be since I wanted to maintain some variation of their quirks, and there aren't really any monsters that shoot lasers out of their stomach, so I decided to make him a cyborg, plus I think it would be cool if the armour and giant shades of his hero costume were part of his body

• Mina is just a straight-up alien, I mean she originally wanted her hero name to be Alien Queen, so it makes sense.

• Tsuyu is a Loveland Frogperson, of you don't know what that is, it's an American cryptid that's basically just a human-sized frog that walks on it's hind legs, so it's perfect for Tsu

• I decided to make Uraraka a ghost because not only would gravity perpetually not apply to her, but she would also have telekinesis and so, she could make gravity not apply to other things/people, which fits with both uses of her quirk

• Ojiro would basically not change at all, but I haven't really decided what specific kind of monster he would be, considering his quirk is literally just that he has a tail, IDK I'll have to get back to him

• Iida would be a steam-powered robot like Robbecca Steam, I thought of this because of the engines on his calves lol

• Kirishima would be a rock elemental, that feels really obvious

• Kaminari would be a Frankenstein's Monster like Frankie, because electricity

• I'm not really sure what species Koda would be, but then I remembered Jane Boolittle who can also talk to animals and whose species is ALSO unknown, so I thought "Eh, it's fine if I don't know because neither does Koji"

• I have no clue what Sato's species would be lol, I might have to get back to him too

• Mezo Shouji is pretty obvious, anthro octopus, maybe also like, part shapeshifter to explain how he can grow extra eyes and mouths at the ends of his limbs, maybe he's even related to Tamaki in this AU

• Jirou is a vampire, but I'm specifically more focused on the bat part than the undead part or the blood drinking part, my reason being that bats have really great hearing and can use ecolocation, plus I just want her to have really big bat ears with dangly chain earrings to stand in for her earphone jacks

• Since Sero's tape power is already supposed to be based on Spiderman's web-slinging, I've decided to make him an anthropomorphic spider like Wydonna

• Tokoyami is a bird man, not much about that changes, but as for how Dark Shadow exists, he's actually Tokoyami's twin who he absorbed in the womb (egg?) And now is sort of a ghost but was also never really alive to begin with? IDK I've seen this premise used in some Danny Phantom AUs and I couldn’t really think of any other way for Dark Shadow to exist

• Todoroki will be an anthropomorphic salamander because not only are there myths of Salamanders being birthed from flames, but there is also a real world salamander species that can turn its own blood into an antifreeze substance so that it can safely hibernate in the winter, IT’S JUST TOO PERFECT!!!

•literally nothing changes about Hagakure

• Bakugou is an anthropomorphic dragon, I know that doesn't really relate to explosions specifically but I wasn’t sure what else to do and breathing fire seemed close enough

• for Deku I was originally gonna make him human, but I thought of something infinitely funnier; he's half merman half centaur and inherited the human half from both of his parents

• I had a hard time coming up with something for Momo, but my friend suggested to make her a Demon because demons can create stuff out of thin air sometimes (and NO, her creations will not be coming out of her boobs in this AU, I am well aware of how often both demons and Momo Yaoyorozu are sexualized and I don't want to do that here, she'll just use her horns to make stuff)

• Shinsou as a siren feels like the most natural creature for him to be, especially since not only is he using a power that comes from his voice to make people do things they normally wouldn't, but sirens are typically seen as the evil counterpart to mermaids, much like how everyone perceives Shinsou's quirk as inherently villainous, so it fits really perfectly

[perplexinglyparadoxialperson]

So, I know I haven't posted in forever, but a bunch of things happened so I didn't, so I'm coming back in with a bang. This is an approximately 5k explanation of the lore, worldbuilding, and biology information I couldn't fit into this vampire Jaskier fic I wrote for a gift exchange. I really hope you enjoy it. Also, for clarity, I used lowercase; higher vampire, when talking about all sentient vampires, alps, bruxa, etc, and capitals; Higher Vampire, when talking about the kind of vampire that Regis and others are. 

Before the Conjunction 

The first time I started deep diving into Witcher vampire lore, and coming up with my own, I came up with a general idea for their previous world before they were brought to the Continent by the Conjunction of spheres, based on their traits. For one, the vampire's size, approximately the same as humans, is extremely unique among sanguivores (animals that feed on blood). Almost all of the species who do so are bugs and insects, which are many many times smaller than the animals they feed on, both for sneaking the blood so the provider of the blood doesn't notice, and so they can feed multiple times on the same victim with no problems (or, in the case of ticks, stay on the victim for as long as they live without having to find a new host because of lack of blood). Of course, there are many exceptions, like several kinds of lampreys that feed on fish that are similar sizes, or slightly bigger than them, (though they feed on other body fluids as well, not just blood) or the white-winged, and hairy-legged vampire bats, which are about the size of a mouse, and prefer birds, including domestic chickens. But those are exceptions, and so I figured that it was likely that in their original world, they fed on creatures far larger than them, maybe something similar in size to the biggest dinosaurs. 

It's also likely that that world would have lower gravity, which would assist in making it possible for the giant creatures they fed on to move around and support their own weight (like the ocean does for large whales, and is part of why sea creatures can grow so much bigger than land creatures) and also make it easier for the vampires to leap up high enough to get blood from them. Sanguivores need to have very good mobility to feed from their much larger prey, so most of them are able to fly, or at least jump extremely high. An example is fleas, which can jump up to 150 times their body height. In the higher gravity of the Continent, their jumping skills would be much less impressive, but they still have much more speed and strength than any other humanoid species on the Continent.

Blood as a food source 

When I started actually researching sanguivores in order to write the story, I found out something very interesting. Animals that feed purely on blood usually have to drink much more of it than other similar sized animals have to eat of other foods. Blood is not a nutritious food source at all. It is approximately 95% water, and the rest is mostly protein, with a little bit of sugars and a tiny bit of vitamins and minerals. If you assume that the vampires have a similar need for calories as a human, they would need to drink approximately an entire full grown human worth of blood every single day. In modern times, it wouldn’t be much of an issue to stay unnoticed in a large city, even for quite a few vampires, because of the sheer amount of humans that go missing or are murdered each day. However, on the Continent, which would likely be similar to medieval times in our history, it would be significantly harder to be a vampire without arousing suspicion, as populations are smaller, and also far more spread out, making it very easy for people to notice that people are being taken, especially if they're feeding off an entire person each day. They would also need to travel a lot to be able to feed before being driven off. And that's just for one vampire in the area, any group of vampires would have to travel very often to accommodate their need for blood, which is probably why most vampires travel alone, and tend to be rare in the games. Except for the vampire brothel in the games, where blood can be exchanged for sex, making it far easier for multiple vampires to survive in one spot. 

Of course, cattle and other large animals have about 6 times more blood than humans, which would make it easier, and far more likely to find them in the wilds, where there would be no contracts, and where Witchers would be less likely to find them. This is helped by the multiple large monsters in this world that they could feed on, like wyverns, griffins, or even kikimores! Of course, it seems that most of their skills seem fine tuned for feeding off humanoids, and most mentions of them have them only feeding on humanoid blood, but I will discuss that later. The thing is, there seems to be a lot more vampires around Toussaint, as in Blood and Wine, there were enough to completely overrun the sizable city of Beauclair, with mostly farmland around it, and not many wild areas for vampires to hide. What was their source of blood that so many of them could live unknown so close to the city?

Part of the reason creatures that feed on blood are pervasive in so many cultures, is the more metaphysical aspects of blood. It was often seen as a source of life energy, a type of magical energy that was unique to each person, and the source of much of their energy, which is why most cultures have some sort of blood magic, and often used blood as a signature of sorts. This is sort of similar to how succubi and incubi are said to feed on life energy, through the method of having sex with people. If vampires were feeding on the more metaphysical life energy as well as the actual calories that blood gives them, it's more than reasonable to assume it would reduce their need to feed, so they don't need to drink an entire human per day.

I mentioned in the story that blood from the veins and blood from arteries has different properties for the vampires that drink it, so I thought I'd provide an explanation here. Arterial blood provides more instant energy, and venous blood provides less, mostly due to the circumstances in which it is taken. For vampires who don't want to hurt their donors, taking from an artery would be dangerous and far more likely to be deadly because of the combination of the fast pumping artery (depending on the artery and how badly it's injured, you can bleed out from an artery in under a minute) and their anticoagulant venom. However, if you're fighting someone, not only will your heart beat faster, pumping blood out of the wound faster, but you also get a dose of the adrenaline pumping through your veins, giving a vampire an even bigger advantage if they can process the adrenaline quickly. (Just about every animal on earth can make and process adrenaline, so if the vampires are close enough to be able to process human blood, they can probably also process adrenaline). But if they're taking from a slow pumping vein, the process of taking blood will be calmer and slower, and without the adrenaline of fighting or having sex, the painkillers in their venom would have greater effect, and probably calm the person even further. 

But that's not the only reason arterial blood has more energy in my universe. I was thinking about how the life energy vampires also feed off would work, how in lore, it's finite (can die if enough is sucked out of you) needs to be carried in the blood so vampires can access it, but also be accessible to succubi and incubi, who also feed off it. For that, I'm associating it heavily with blood. And because in the past, the heart was seen as the center of the mind rather than the brain, I wanted to incorporate that, and have the heart be the source of life energy. So arterial blood, fresh from the heart would be full of life energy, while venous blood would be empty of it, going to the heart to be refilled. So arterial blood would be a better source of energy, but also far more dangerous to the donor.

Note; while many stories of vampires that feed on humanoids have them have a venom/saliva with coagulation properties (to reduce blood loss and death after feeding) every sanguivore that I know of on earth has saliva or venom with anticoagulants, to ensure that the smaller blood vessels they're feeding off don't close so soon after opening. If vampires originally fed on animals much larger than humans, they would need anticoagulants for the same reasons as creatures like mosquitoes. To have the properties of their saliva change to the exact opposite effects is extremely unlikely when it would probably do nothing to help them, and probably take thousands of years to develop.

Vampires feeding off life energy as well as blood could also explain why, 1) they seem tailored to feed from humanoids, because I believe that humanoids would have more life energy than animals due to their sentience, so human blood would give them more energy, and 2) why higher vampires only get drunk off of the blood of sentient beings, (I cannot find a direct quote to either contradict or confirm this, feel free to let me know if I'm wrong) because it provides something extra that animal blood doesn't. Of course, even with that, it would still be hard to maintain a consistent blood source, especially if they don't care about human lives and kill every human they feed from. 

A vampire community 

The dramatically higher density of vampires around Toussaint must have a cause, and I believe that cause is some kind of vampire community in Toussaint, where they work together with humans to get the blood they need. I believe there must be a vampire noble family of some sort ruling over the area, so the human nobles believe that the area is under control and that they don't need to visit. I'm going with this idea partially because I'm keeping Jaskier’s (a Higher Vampire in the story) background of being noble born, and partially because Orianna was a very rich and well thought of vampire, that seemed to be a noble of some kind, possibly connected to Jaskier’s parents. Also, a place where vampires could live freely with humans would almost certainly have to be ruled by vampires, as in the world of the Witcher humans would never put aside their prejudices enough to let that happen. 

This community would probably be extremely careful about keeping themselves away from any attention from Witchers, killing dangerous monsters in the area and policing their own to make sure no rebellious teenagers (like Regis) go wild on blood and attract attention. I bet that once the group that pressured Regis into blood drinking was found out, they were killed or driven out so they wouldn’t attract attention from Witchers. 

I believe that Regis was a part of this community partially because I wanted him and Jaskier to know each other, and partially because his name means kingly or regal, which added to the sheer amount of names he has, similar to traditions of the British royal family, heavily implies he's a noble of some kind, possibly Jaskier’s cousin, and was supposed to be the heir until Jaskier came along. It could also go well with Dettlaff's distant appreciation of him, never getting up the courage to talk to someone more noble than him. Another reason I believe Regis was a part of that community is that he was once in a relationship with the Queen of the Night, who later became the Madame of a brothel that offered sex for blood, offering the same kind of stable food source and safety that the vampire community could. Maybe she was even inspired to set out on her own to create her own community by Regis' addiction, wanting to make more safe places for vampires to live without needing to kill. 

The community would likely have the non-vampire villagers pay their taxes mostly in freely given blood rather than goods or money, (though some goods and money would be necessary to pay the taxes of the nobles above them). I also believe there would be a lot of innovation, medical and magical in that kingdom, because of the blood need. The vampires would likely be able to detect illness, deficiencies, and other medical issues that can be detected in the blood, which would likely lead to impressive medical care that anyone can access in that kingdom, both due to them having more knowledge about blood and the body, and due to a vested interest in making sure the blood they feed on tastes good (it would be a very likely evolutionary advantage to make healthy blood taste good in order to make sure their only food is giving them everything they need, and not hurting them, like how rotting food usually tastes/smells gross). Magical innovation would likely be because they would be searching for some way to multiply blood, or remove their reliance on it entirely, also working on a way to reopen the portal to their home world. All that would explain why there are so many more vampires in Toussaint than anywhere else.

After the Conjunction 

Now for my explanation on how vampires as a species so easily switched from feeding on creatures much larger than them, to primarily feeding on humanoids. I believe that the lower varieties of vampires, the ones that are not sentient, are more likely to live in the wilds and hunt creatures rather than humans, while the sentient ones are more likely to hunt humans, just due to the amount of skills that seem specifically tuned to hunt humans. These skills are very common in the sentient ones, but always seem absent in the non-sentient ones, skills like telepathy, shape shifting, the intelligence to blend in as a human, usually a better resistance to the sun, and invisibility to magical scanning. 

We all know that Higher Vampires each have a unique power, like Dettlaff's power over lesser vampires, and the possible variety of powers is unknown, possibly every power you could ever think of, and that makes Higher Vampires an extremely adaptive species. The only disadvantage is the very low numbers of them that we know of, despite how hard it is to kill them. This makes it likely that they have extremely low fertility, or very long reproductive cycles, making children a very rare occurrence. This makes sense with their impossibly long lifespan and invincibility unless killed by another higher vampire, as otherwise, the whole world would be quickly overtaken by higher vampires, even over other vampire species with the fact that they do not need any food/blood to live, so there is no need to have many children. 

However, it's very likely that they can interbreed with the other higher varieties of vampire. They all have many similarities, both physical and in their abilities, so it's likely they can interbreed like humans and Neanderthals could, and it's likely the cause of all of the sentient vampires being able to blend in with and hunt humans so easily. If they previously drank from creatures far larger than them, the ability to look more like a human would be completely useless, only making them more vulnerable with a lack of claws and teeth, and I speculate that vampires were the only humanoids in their original universe, given how most of them don’t see humans as more valuable than prey, not accepting them as other sentient beings. Much like the humans in the Witcher universe actually! So they had to find a way to blend in, and fast, because humans already had legends of evil blood drinkers, and were fully willing to kill them. 

The source of vampires ability to shape-shift and use telepathy was likely higher vampires who had those abilities naturally, and interbred with the other sentient vampires, passing the abilities along so quickly due to the environmental pressure to blend in, especially as humans began mutating the ability to use the Chaos in the new universe, and start to hold their own against vampires. Especially because they had to adapt to the higher gravity of the new world, and lack of their traditional food source, so they would be at a disadvantage, whereas humans came from a very similar world and could easily use their previous knowledge in this new world. And the cause of higher vampires breeding so rapidly and easily with the other sentient vampires? The intoxicating abilities of human blood. Even if they wouldn’t breed with them usually (for cultural reasons I suspect, which I will share later) the sudden ability to get intoxicated, and their sudden removal from everything familiar would likely combine to make them want any kind of connection and closeness with familiar species as they could, making it easier to breed important survival traits into the different species very quickly. 

Vampire genetics

However, some of the higher vampire species are weirdly different from each other, other than the abilities that make it easy to hunt humans. One major thing I found though, was that mula, Higher Vampires, katakans, and nosferats have both a very humanlike, and a very batlike form (the only semi-official image of a mula I found looked somewhere in between the two, so that could be either an inbetween form, or it's only form, but apparently it can look very similar to other vampires in their human form, so it likely does have both forms, and the one image was just in an inbetween form) and bruxae and alps have a very humanlike, female looking form, and can shape-shift into a full animal, like a large bat or cat. (Sidenote; it is specifically stated in the Blood and Wine bestiary that alps can turn into animals, though it is not mentioned anywhere else. As for bruxae, there is a scene in the books where a bruxa turns into an "enormous black bat". This could be interpreted as a humanish bat form like many other vampires, but in the translation I read, it seemed like it had no humanoid features in its bat form, never standing upright like a human, and having full, working wings instead of the more humanlike arms in all other higher vampires batlike forms. As far as I know, only Higher Vampires of the higher vampires have full wings they can use to fly in bat form. The bruxa could partially transform back into a human, like how other higher vampires have in between forms, giving it a few humanoid features, but it was described as distinctly different from its fully batlike form, so the full bat form is clearly not at all humanoid) 

This sharp difference in its shapeshifting and forms despite the fact they can interbreed heavily implies either sexual dimorphism so strong that they appear to be entirely separate species, or that they are separate species that regularly interbreed, with some of the species being entirely one sex. Of course, it's possible that the purely female appearance of bruxae and alps is just a part of luring humans in, and both males and females of the species look like female humans when in their humanoid form, but it's 1) a little harder to fit into the ideas I have, and 2) less likely that Higher Vampires would interbreed with them, thus making their ability to all disguise themselves a little less likely. And 3) a lot of the lore of this story was heavily inspired by the worldbuilding of this fic, so I wanted all the alps and bruxae to be female. 

I do find it unlikely that bruxae and alps wouldn't have a batlike form like all the others, as it seems like they have a more humanlike form, as well as being able to look more distinctly like a vampire, with longer nails and teeth, but still mostly humanlike. This could be their more batlike form, but it's more likely to be an inbetween form. They would also probably have a true form in their original world before they could disguise themselves as humans, so I believe that they do have a more batlike form that we've never seen in canon. Maybe they can only bear young in their batlike form, which would make them more vulnerable and also harder to hide amongst humans, so they may hide away in the wilderness, possibly getting mistaken for other species with a known batlike form. 

In the wiki, the mula is only referred to with male pronouns, and Higher Vampires, katakans, and nosferats seem to be both, reffered to with neutral pronouns, with none of them being able to turn into an ordinary animal, though Higher Vampires and mulas can turn into a mist form instead. (Fun fact, Higher Vampires having a mist form is only seen in cutscenes in the games, and that fact is not in the wiki. This gave me a panicked moment in the last phases of editing this, where I thought this entire part was heavily based on some widely accepted fanon. Fun times.) And funnily enough, the only higher vampires we know of are all male, (and in my story, including Jaskier) though they are referred to by neutral pronouns in the wiki like the other species that can be either male or female. Maybe because of each one's unique abilities, they can be female very rarely, with males being much more common, which would also make it possible for them to breed within their group, fitting the cultural aspects I came up with. 

Because of all of this, I believe that they are a heavily sexually dimorphic species, except with males, females, and hermaphrodites instead of just males and females. It's possible that katakans and nosferats could be either sex instead of hermaphrodites, but that would make the sex chromosomes more complicated, so I'll stick with the simpler option. Another option is that they are separate species that can interbreed, but as the most well accepted definition of species is that it is a group that can interbreed and have viable and fertile offspring, so having multiple species that easily interbreed and pass genes between them and through generations makes it unlikely that they are all separate species by our definition. (Of course, in our world, some species are considered different species because they can't interbreed purely due to living in different places, and the Conjunction could have gotten rid of geographical limitations, making them technically different species, but I'm going with Occam's Razor for this) So the way I made it is that females (bruxae and alps) have the ability to turn into other animals like bats, cats, or other animals, while males (Higher Vampires and mulas) have a mist form. But katakans and nosferats, getting both genes, wouldn't be able to do either, needing two copies of one kind of transformation gene to be able to do it. Also, both katakans and nosferats are the only higher vampires that are susceptible to the sun (except for alps, but it doesn't seem to actually hurt them, just tan them very darkly), so that's a gene that is probably connected to the sex chromosomes in vampires. 

I was also inspired by the side blotched lizard, a species with three varieties of males, each with a different set of markings, behaviors, and mating preferences, which shows that you can have distinct varieties of a sex within the same species without them combining, making the two varieties of each sex of higher vampire perfectly viable. So females would need two female genes, males would need two male genes, and the hermaphrodites would have one copy of each. Thus, Higher Vampires could breed with almost all the other types of higher vampire, passing on their adaptations for the new world, except for the mulas. They would only be able to pass it on to a hermaphrodite variety, which could only then pass it on to the mulas, which could be a good in-universe explanation for why they are so rare (aka, are in none of the games, and are only mentioned once in the books), because it took longer for the gene to transform into a much more humanlike form to pass down.

Vampire culture

Almost all of this is pure speculation based on other ideas about them I came up with, because there are very few facts about it on the wiki. We know that all intelligent (higher) vampires celebrate full moons as an important holiday. We know that there are three different tribes of vampires that live in different places. That's about it. So I'm doing a lot of speculation here. For one, I believe that there is some kind of higher being/god that they believe in and worship, likely tied to the full moon. It seems unlikely that the being they worship would be an Unseen Elder, as it is shown that even Higher Vampires are terrified of disturbing them, and full moon celebrations usually consist of raiding villages and getting drunk on blood, and given that bruxae are said to sing shrill and sickening songs after they drink blood, I doubt they're trying to worship the unseen elder, who we know does not like disturbances or excessive conversation. However, I do believe that Higher Vampires, especially the Unseen Elders, are seen as the favorites of that god, much like prophets, saints, and the Pope are seen in Christianity. The scene in Blood and Wine where Geralt talks to the Unseen Elder seems to imply that only the elders are allowed to decide that a Higher Vampire can be killed, and even then, the vampire who did the killing is still ostracized, which makes it even more likely that Higher Vampires are fairly rare, and also revered in some way. Their power over all other vampires would also cause them to be seen as blessed, or just better than any other kinds of vampires. (Dettlaff having the power to control lesser vampires makes it likely that he has the possibility to become an Unseen Elder, because as Higher Vampires get older, their powers grow, so I assume that if he gets old enough, he would be able to control other Higher Vampires as well. This could also explain why the Unseen Elder is willing to help Geralt with Dettlaff when the direct threat to him seems minimal to us, because Dettlaff has the potential to usurp him in the future). This power, the other random powers they could have, and their near invulnerability, would make it easy to think that they are the most favored of whatever deity they worship, and thus the most superior kind of vampire. Even the fact that they have no need to drink blood like any other vampires could contribute to the belief that they are better somehow, more spirit than body. Like how in many religions there are fasting rituals that supposedly bring them closer to their god or gods, or stories of people so close to the gods that they didn’t need to eat at all. 

But all this would make Higher Vampires feel superior, and want to breed only within their own type, much like medieval royal families (the infinite lifespans and the rarity of children would lessen the impact of inbreeding). But for that to happen, they would either need to have Higher Vampires that can birth children, which could be possible due to the wide array of powers they can have, and real world sex differentiation being more complicated than you think, like bird species that usually have two sexes having an animal be half male and half female, both gonads being functional, or they pull other types of vampires that can bear them children into the "royal family" to have children for them, likely a combination of both. 

Also, in the vampire language, they likely have three or four gendered pronouns instead of the three in the English language, (depending if they have a neutral pronoun or not) masculine, feminine, neutral, and ones referring to the hermaphrodites. This makes it likely that they are more likely to accept trans and nonbinary vampires than humans would, especially if there can be Higher Vampires that can bear children despite the species being all male usually. Maybe those vampires even have a specific pronoun, just for them! The vampire language shown in the games is mostly derived from Etruscan, (an ancient language that we only know for certain the meanings of a few hundred words) which (to my minimal knowledge of how languages work, and a few Wikipedia articles) seems to only have two pronouns. 

Anyway, this is my worldbuilding of the Witcher vampires, but feel free to ask me to clarify if something is a bit muddled, use this worldbuilding in your own stories, heavily adapt it, or correct a fact I got wrong! I really enjoy people using little pieces of my ideas! I'm hoping to post a little more often in the future, but I can't promise anything. I should respond to comments/people tagging me more often now though!

[catreginae]

(same anon sorry I'm just gonna send you some questions because I LOVE VAMPIRES and I'm somewhat unfamiliar with yours)

There is a rather lot of vampire lore out there. What sorts of things are applicable to your vampire Wars, and what might be some in-world misconceptions? You mentioned sunlight isn't BAD just sad, same with garlic. What about mirrors? Does Wars get a reflection? Oh no his eyeliner

🦇

I'm going to put this under the cut because there will be some spoilers for Thou Shalt Not Fall regarding some of the powers I haven't revealed in the story yet. It's also long!

Here are some of the traits that I've seen elsewhere that applies to Warriors:

Fire, decapitation, and a stake through the heart will kill him (along with light magic but that's still a way to burn to death in my book). He can withstand some fire damage and not die, a stake anywhere else in his body causes a lot of pain but doesn't kill him, and partial decapitation isn't good enough.

He has amazing healing abilities and can regenerate missing limbs when given enough time, blood, and rest. He likes this ability because he can be a meat shield. Everybody is always more worried about his injuries than he is (with the exception of like burns, which take longer to heal).

He has some of the same abilities! He has superhuman speed and strength, superior senses, he has the capability to walk on walls and ceilings, he can float, hypnotize humans and monsters, and he's immune to illness and most poisons (poisons have to vampire specific - he can eat hemlock and be fine). He hasn't discovered he can do them all yet, but he is capable of it.

He has the invitation limitation. He needs to be invited into homes before he can step foot in one. He can use a welcome mat as a loop hole though.

Most animals dislike him and are aggressive towards him, especially dogs and cats.

His fangs and claws are retractable, so he passes quite well as a regular person. His eyes also change when his fangs are out, but that also

Some plants are super effective against him, such as hawthorn.

He doesn't age, so he can live for centuries. He will never die of old age or feel the effects of old age.

The rest of the chain hasn't seen it yet, but he does enjoy hanging upside down. He mostly does this when he's on watch and has a tree to hang off

Here are some things that don't apply:

Warriors isn't undead. I haven't quite decided if this is all vampire in-universe, but Warriors is only half-vampire (I kind of want to say he's a dhampir but like, he wasn't born that way so I don't know if he counts as one) so even if they are undead, Warriors in particular wouldn't be. This also means he can sleep outside graveyard dirt.

He can use mirrors just fine.

He can cross rivers.

I've seen some debate about whether or not silver is effective against vampires. Here, he it doesn't bother him or other vampires.

Vampires aren't affected by garlic as you have stated. It's just something he personally hates.

I am unsure about shapeshifting. He's only half-vampire, so even if other vampires could, he wouldn't be able to. I think it might be neat if other vampires could and he was able at least take on some traits of let's say, a bat (such as being able to use echolocation).

As for misconceptions, there aren't a lot of misconceptions in-universe regarding vampire facts. However, most people are unaware that he's only half-vampire at first, so misconceptions he experiences is mostly based on people being surprised that he can do something regular vampires can't do. Sunlight is BAD for vampires and will kill them, but Warriors doesn't experience the weaknesses as strongly, so it just gives him sunburns. People who know about vampires, then become aware that he is one, panic when they see him in sunlight.

[chisatowo]

Ok here's what I have decided for the sci fantasy au so far as far as what everyone is and/or what random abilities they have

Kasumi: this is nowhere near final but me and my sibling have been joking abt her being a mad scientist and I am fully ready to commit if nothing better comes to mind 

Tae: zombie maybe? If not then probably some kind of werebeast. 

Rimi: nothing yet

Saya: nothing yet

Arisa: I've decided that she can hear people's thoughts, but haven't decided if she's got anything other than that going on. 

Ran: can hear the voices of plants 

Moca: can go into people's dreams and is also a werewolf 

Himari: demon

Tomoe: doesn't need to sleep

Tsugumi: likely some kind of horrifying beast, but I haven't decided on anything specific yet 

Kokoro: cursed prophet 

Kaoru: human

Hagumi: vampire, and her family also does a lot of alchemy

Kanon: vampire 

Misaki: alien

Aya: space eldritch horror 

Hina: failed attempt at reviving an old eldritch god 

Chisato: ocean eldritch horror 

Maya: can see through illusion magic and other magical disguises 

Eve: poison cloud thing

Yukina: spellcaster

Sayo: human

Lisa: werecat

Ako: doesn't need to sleep 

Rinko: not a ghost, but I'm thinking she can have ghost like abilities maybe? 

Mashiro: human, but raised by vampires. 

Toko: cursed prophet, but in a family of not cursed prophets who have been under the assumption that they are not a prophet for years 

Nanami: human but raised by demons 

Tsukushi: human but raised by weredogs 

Rui: human but raised by werecats

Layer: probably some kind of monster hunter, idk for sure yet

Lock: some kind of sea creature, but is also a monster hunter

Masking: almost definitely a monster hunter

Pareo: alien part 2 babey 

Chu^2: a not cursed prophet, and a powerful one too. 

[howgaytobequeer]

About that vampire bat that ate Quincey's horse...

First, so we're clear, actual vampire bats are pretty tiny. They only drink about about two tablespoons/30ml of blood in a single feeding. (For comparison, when you give blood the goal is to get about 500ml out of you.) And they don't suck blood so much as lick it up after delivering a bite with an anticoagulant in their saliva. It wouldn't be much more than an annoyance, like a larger mosquito bite, except for the fact that they often carry rabies, a disease with a functionally 100% fatality rate once symptoms appear.

But, as luck would have it, I think I can explain Quincey's story about his horse getting eaten by No Vampire Bat I've Ever Heard Of: Like many things, the story of vampire bats grew in the telling and the farther away the tale got from their homeland. I wouldn't be surprised if Mr. Stoker thought Quincey's account of a gigantic vampire bat was based in reality, because of the kinds of sources he might've had access to in the English world about the animals.

I'm reading a book about the cultural history of rabies right now (Rabid: A Cultural History of the World's Most Diabolical Virus by Bill Wasik and Monica Murphy), and at one point they quote from a 1796 account from J.G. Stedman of his encounter with one while travelling in Suriname. This account is... almost definitely exaggerated and very definitely incorrect about how vampire bats work! But I've included the excerpt below, and you can tell me if any of this sounds familiar. (Content warning for blood, vomit, and tall tales; paragraph breaks added for readability.)

On waking about four o'clock this morning in my hammock, I was extremely alarmed at finding myself weltering in congealed blood, and without feeling any pain whatever... I had been bitten by the vampire, or spectre, of Guana, which is also called the flying dog of New Spain, and, by the Spaniards, perrovolador. This is no other than a bat of a monstrous size, that sucks the blood from men and cattle when they are fast asleep, even, sometimes, until they die; and as the manner in which they proceed is truly wonderful, I shall endeavor to give a distinct account of it. Knowing by instinct that the person they intend to attack is in a sound slumber, they generally alight near the feet; where, while the creature continues fanning its enormous wings, which keeps one cool, he bites a piece out of the tip of the great toe, so very small, indeed, that the head of a pin could scarcely be received into the wound, which is, consequently, not painful; yet through this orifice he continues to suck the blood, until he is obliged to disgorge. He then begins again, and thus continues sucking and disgorging till he is scarcely able to fly, and the sufferer has often been known to sleep from time into eternity... Having applied tobacco-ashes as the best remedy, and washed the gore from myself and from my hammock, I observed several small heaps of congealed blood, all around the place where I had lain, upon the ground; upon examining which, the surgeon judged that I might have lost at least twelve or fourteen ounces during the night.

[canismaxim-games]

Oh I would love to learn about what kinds of creatures r in ur world!

So there's quite a few XD I'll try to keep the descriptions short enough so this isn't too long (tho of course if yall ever want to know more just let me know). So basically these are the main ones MC will interact with in the game, some based on myths, a lot I added myself as i think they're cool. Werefolk:

The one that's most prevalent in the current demo sounds like a good place to start. Lycanthropy, and its counterparts), can be passed down by werewolf saliva getting into someone's bloodstream. There isn't a "cure" for lycanthropy, as the search for that was ended when people stopped looking at werefolk as feral beasts and realized they still have their consciousness, it's just that their adrenaline has been cranked to the max and it can be terrifying to suddenly have your senses be 10 times better than they ever were. Nowadays there are plenty of over the counter meds to help with "full moon hangovers" and even some that dull your senses down to "human" level. On full moons when the change is unavoidable, there are plenty of forest/parks that allow werefolk to let loose without having to worry about accidentally damaging buildings or hurting people. Were-attacks are rare, but still occasionally happen, depending on if the were knew they'd been turned or not punishment can be as little as a fined ticket, or if the attack was planned/done with intent to harm or kill, it can lead to said were getting life in prison.

Animal Headed people: (minotaurs, chimeras, etc)

There are many versions, hence the classification of general animal headed individual. These folks can also have claws, animal lower legs, tails etc. It can be difficult for these folk to speak human languages, many use sign language instead or speaking aids on their phones, or if they've got the money for it they can commission a mage to make a piece of jewelry that "speaks" for them. (it connects to a magic symbol on their neck and translates their vocalizations into a specified human language). Some do prefer to use glamor to appear more human, but glamor can be quite expensive. Animal headed individuals have heightened senses based on what animal head they have, so some might have amazing hearing but terrible vision, or thermal vision but not the best hearing, etc.

Vampires:

Vampires are considered undead as the actual vampire transformation stops the human heart before completely altering their physiology. It's not that they're dead persay, but they no longer need a heart, or lungs really. They do need to drink blood, but nothing even close to the myth of drinking humans dry. Modern vampires will pay hospitals or consenting blood donors for a pint of blood and it will last the vampire a solid month or two. Vampires don't burst into flame if they touch the sunlight, but they are sensitive to it. They are nocturnal and as such harsh bright lights will give them quite the nasty headache. As for other abilities (flying/hypnosis/transforming into bats or other creatures) it depends on the individual. If someone who had lycanthropy was then turned by a vampire they would be a vampire with the ability to transform into beastly creatures. If a mage were turned into a vampire they would have more of the persuasion/hypnosis abilities. If a vampire does bite you, you're not going to turn into one. Vampires have two sets of fangs, the one for biting open a wound for access to blood, and the second set which act like a snakes fangs, venom enters the bloodstream and that is what triggers the transformation. You would know if you were bitten by the second set of fangs from the intense and sudden burning as if acid was injected into you.

Ghosts:

Ghosts are undead, spectral beings of those who once lived. There's no rhyme or reason as to who becomes a ghost and who doesn't. Sometimes a ghost forms simply because they wanted to make sure someone they loved lives a long happy life, other times it is because of vengeance. Ghosts do not need to eat, and the sudden transformation from living to being a ghost can be quite the shock. If a ghost lets their emotions take over any rational thought they become a poltergeist, an embodiment of whatever emotion overtook them. Exorcisms are only used in the most extreme cases, as there are ways to calm poltergeists down and help them pass on. Ghosts get a sort of therapy to try and help them figure out why they're still hanging around, and to teach them coping skills to minimize the possibility of new poltergeists. They can possess bodies, but most will seek a willing host and only use the body for a few hours at the most. This is either to experience a food they enjoy, or a sensation they miss, etc.

Demons:

As humans can't accurately pronounce their true name, demons go as such. They aren't sins given form to torture humans, they are simply inhabitants of another plane, one more firey and hostile than the mortal plane. Demons don't normally travel long in the mortal plane as its colder than they're comfortable with among other reasons. Demons who do settle in the mortal plane are usually trying to start a new life for themselves, though then realize the mortal plane has its own hardships to deal with. Some use glamor to blend in, others feel no need to. They do have magic, though its different from what mages have and use.

Taurs: (centaurs, basically any animal body and then human torso and head)

Similarly to animal headed individuals taurs are those who have the lowerbody of an animal. the majority have hooved animal heritage, though there are some mammalian and reptilian taurs as well. They can use glamor but some find the sudden change from four legs to only two quite jarring. Those who do find it too jarring may use mobility aids to simulate four legs and keep themselves stable, others simply won't use glamor. Taurs can have animal-like ears and other features, it depends on the individual. Taurs who don't have hooves will tend to wear coverings on their paws to protect from glass/sharp debris of the city roads.

"Angels": (Winged folk)

Similar to Demons, humans could not pronounce their true names and thus call these individual angels. In reality the plane they call home is quite mountainous and cold, and therefore their kind evolved to have wings and thick warm fur. Their wings greatly depend on the individual, though most are avian, you can find angels with bat wings or even insect-like wings. Angels usually have a halo, in reality this halo is their horns, as angels horns conjoin upon maturity. Another interesting fact is that angels have a glow about them especially when in dimmer enviornments. If you befriend an angel, expect them to be quite touchy/cuddly, and to be given shiny gifts as angels find their own by looking for their glow.

Mages:

Mages are genealogical cousins to humans despite their very similar appearances. Mages have a different internal makeup, including a few more organs that convert food and water into energy that can be used for their magic. This energy is stored in their magical reserve (an organ nestled right next to the mages heart) and depending on how big this magical reserve is determines how weak or strong a mages abilities will be. Mages can usually be discerned by unnatural eye colors, or their magical birthmark (usually on their chest or back its color and shape is dependent on their magical reserve and how their magic develops. i.e if a mage is more drawn to plants it will be similar to plantlife, if a mage is drawn to the elements it make look like a lightning strike or a flame, etc.).

[katzkinder]

(multiple linked image references throughout this post)

Ok, so I loved this post

The part that got me though was when you said “I wonder what type of animal form they take factors into that” - that’s where the gears in my head started turnin’

So I went snooping on each animal counterpart associated with each sin.

1.) SLOTH: are cats sensitive to cold?

So Kuro isn’t JUST a neet that prefers blankets or a kotatsu over the cold… his animal form being a cat does play some part… key word beings some

“Cats are pretty well adapted for cold weather, but when the temperature dips below freezing they are susceptible to hypothermia and frostbite. During periods of cold weather, cats will go looking for a warm place to hunker down. How cold is too cold for indoor cats? Cats prefer warmth but will be okay in rooms hovering between 50-60°F degrees; while their counterparts Lions, in a zoo environment, stay outside in the winter unless the temperature dips below 40°F (in the wild, most lions don’t have to worry about temperatures dropping below 65°F so in most cases 40°F and below is too cold).”

SLOTH SENSATIVE TO COLD? ✅ (yes)

2.) PRIDE: are bats sensitive to cold?

“Bats can't survive freezing temperatures, even when they're hibernating. Any roost bats shelter in for the winter must be at least 45°F or warmer. They also seek out dark, secluded, and sheltered places that can keep them safe from predators. Bats are defenseless while they're hibernating.”

PRIDE SENSATIVE TO COLD? ✅ (yes)

3.) ENVY: are snakes sensitive to cold?

Jeje being a snake is pretty much a given… but it’d be mean to not include him (so no funny ideas outta you, ok Mikuni?)

“What is the coldest temperature a snake can withstand? Snakes usually stay out of cold climates. Because the coldest temperature any snake can thrive in is around 65°F, snakes normally live in the warmer temperate or tropical zones. Below 60°F, snakes become sluggish. Above 95°F, snakes become overheated.”

ENVY SENSATIVE TO COLD? ✅ (yes)

4.) WRATH: are wolves sensitive to cold?

“Wolves don't need to do anything. They're much better adapted to cold weather than we are. Thanks to their winter adaptations, wolves can live in temperatures as low as -40°F. During the coldest nights, a wolf will curl itself into a ball, covering its nose with its tail, which will hold the exhaled warm air over its feet and nose, conserving precious body heat. It will also sleep close to its pack-mates(her Eve) in a unified effort to stay warm.”

WRATH SENSATIVE TO COLD? ♾ (neutral-ish)

5.) GREED: are hedgehogs sensitive to cold?

“Hedgehogs getting cold is a BIG ‘No no’. It slows their metabolism down, leaving them susceptible to infections, dehydration and starvation. It's important to keep your hedgehog in an environment between 72-80°F. Even if it’s not always comfortable for us humans (comfortable for angels? no clue), temperatures lower than 70°F are considered ‘cold’ for hedgehogs and can result in a hibernation attempt, which can be fatal.”

Maybe that’s why Lawless always wears that scarf? Since hedgehogs are severely thermally sensitive then it would make sense…

(Crantz, Gil… please stop the angel from getting any ideas)

GREED SENSITIVE TO COLD? ✅ (yes)

6.) GLUTTONY: are pigs sensitive to cold?

In this case I will refer mostly to Vietnamese Potbellied Pigs because as far as I know, we haven’t actually seen Ildio’s pig form yet - one of the only depictions is Lawless’ stage depictions of the 7 vampire siblings in ep6… and based on his stage depiction of Ildio’s pig form, Viatnamese Vietnamese Miniature Potbellied Pigs seem like they’d be the common type of pig that seems to fit that shape/size.

“The ideal temperature range for a potbelly pig is 65-88°F. Pigs in winter do not need any type of supplemental heat down to at least -20°F. Most potbelly pigs require more feed to maintain heat production and body condition; meaning that housing aside, the more feed/calorie intake, the easier it can be for pigs to regulate their body heat.”

However, seeing as Ildio is an ageless vampire with the mother-effing holy grail of metabolisms, we don’t know if his MASSIVE calorie intake, that he doesn’t really gain much/any weight from, will actually help him in cold weather.

GLUTTONY SENSATIVE TO COLD? ♾❔(neutral/unknown where they stand exactly)

7.) LUST: are butterflies sensitive to cold?

Snow Lily’s butterfly appearance is probably one of the most exaggerated of the 8 servamp animal forms. That gorgeous shade of pink and black aside, I couldn’t find any real buttwrfly species with that wing pattern or wings shaped like that. So color and wing pattern aside, I’d say the closest real-world butterfly to Snow Lily would be a variation of Swallowtail Butterfly.

Butterflies are cold-blooded critters, however, generally speaking butterflies won't fly when temperatures are less than 55-60°F.

LUST SENSATIVE TO COLD? ✅ (yes)

8.) MELANCHOLY: are foxes sensitive to cold?

Even though Tsubaki’s two tails seem to be a play of of the legends of Nine Tail Fox, generally speaking based off his other details being black fox with white on the end of his tail(s), he is most likely a Silver Fox; which is a type of Red Fox.

The upper critical temperature of the red fox is probably between 86-89°F. An official temperature range of what is too cold for red foxes is more or less unknown or unofficial at best. The arctic fox is said to be able to tolerate temperatures as low as -72°F but red foxes haven’t occupied the tundra in the past partly because it was too cold; with their longer ears and limbs, they lose heat faster than their arctic cousins. So we know the average red fox can tolerate and survive cold temperatures, but most likely not temperatures like their arctic counterparts live in.

MELANCHOLY SENSATIVE TO COLD? ♾❔❌ (neutral/unknown where they stand exactly/least affected of the bunch)

and after ALL OF THAT…

the most interesting thing is–

when I first got into SERVAMP, I remember being curious where the concept of ‘the different sins transforming into animal forms’ came from. After a little research, I found that there is a history to it! A very detailed account of the origins and representations of them within history. And a small portion discusses the animal depictions of the original 7 deadly sins⬇️

“An allegorical image depicting the human heart subject to the seven deadly sins, each represented by an animal (clockwise: Toad = Avarice [greed]; Snake = Envy; Lion = Wrath; Snail = Sloth; Pig = Gluttony; Goat = Lust why? I have no idea; Peacock = Pride).”

So Jeje and Ildio’s animal forms are the only ones true to the original depictions of their associated sins.

Pride as a peacock does make sense… but I can understand adding the bat into the mix because - vampires.

I get why they’d change Kuro to a cat instead of a snail because I can’t see a snail being threatening at all unless it’s either severely poisonous or Gary… like, supernatural vampire powers or not, Kuro as a snail wouldn’t be very badass.

Why the ever living f*ck would a goat reprint lust? Originally I was going with the possibility that goat could be related to ram, ram represents Aries, Aries is one of the most lustful zodiac personalities… but no, apparently the goat represents the Devil, lust, lubricity and the damned… so that’s fun - I prefer the butterfly thank you very much.

Apparently frogs symbolize greed because it is a greedy creature in desiring to live in both worlds- on the land & in the water… okay I guess?

& lastly even though the Lion role is also occupied by Kuro within the series, I can understand Wrath not maintaining the original Lion role swing as Wrath is female and they probably wanted a male to hold the depiction of Lion so that the could use the lion’s mane, again, to add to the badass factor… regardless I don’t think Wrath as a lioness would have played out the same way… is it sexist when referring to animals? Whatever - that’s a question for another day.

If you’re interested, the full article can be found here

I am so sorry this random rant turned out WAAAAAAAY longer than I originally intended… I always love your analysis and theory posts so I hope you enjoy :)

YOOO ANON, THAT’S AWESOME! I’ll definitely check that article out!

In return, have this!

We know what piggy ‘dio looks like now! :D

Hopefully this will make your research a little easier?

[lemondragon42-art]

Vamp AU notes Part 2: Powers, abilities and appearance

Heyo, I’m back with some more Vamp AU lore because I love to really think out these AUs of mine. This time looking more into the Vampires themselves and the powers they have, because each one has something a little unique about it (and I’ll share my influences as I go). Once again, major and minor Spoilers for DGS2 and AAI2 mainly though be wary because I might be forgetting some.)

And also once again. under the cut because long post time. This will also be focus around only some the main Vampires that appear in the story such as the trio and Edgeworth as I haven’t figured out everyone yet and if I tried to write out everyone this would be even longer than it already is. Open to suggestions though! 

OVERVIEW

- A Vampire's appearance and abilities slightly vary from person to person. Some look completely ordinary outside of minor differences such as unnatural eye colour, pale complexion and more pointed ears. Others take on a more monstrous form ranging from visible veins and claws to bat-like features. These tend to occur with the age and growth in power of a vampire, or when they are using their abilities .All of these features can be hidden if needed when around humans. In terms of abilities, all vampires gain increased endurance, physical strength and speed and reduced aging. Some vampires can teleport, some can turn into a bat and/or mist, some have long claws or some connection to vampiric blood magic. Others can blend and meld into shadow or have a banshee (or black canary) like screech.

- Vampires can age...kind of. By age I mean as they exist for longer they start taking on features similar to age, such as grey/white hair. This is also a show of experience and power because its an indication of how long a vampire has been around (hope you’re ready for Silver Fox Van Zieks) Von Karma, in this AU was one of the first vampires created by Van Zieks, is another older vampire. This age also happens much much slower than humans.   APPEARANCE/POWERS/COMBAT CAPABILITIES Klavier: Klavier looks relatively normal except for his eyes, his ears, and of course his fangs. (Klavier's eyes look either red or gold (or reddish gold) and almost seem to glow in certain light) His powers outside of the base vampire abilities include a black canary style banshee screech and a teleport ability (think nightcrawler) (Potentially the power of persuasion and/or a type of mirror illusion ability). Klavier is a fast guy, between his teleports and just having a faster than average speed as a Vampire, he's hard to hit. Simon gave him a pair of Kunai to use and a Tanto in closer combat. He darts around the field. He could also combine both his powers into an even more powerful attack. (See: Sylvanna World of Warcraft. I think?). Sebastian: Is paler than usual and his eyes always appear glassy, like a dolls. This is mostly from tears though. He also have dark circles under his eyes and pointed bat ears as well. As for powers, has blood magic, specifically a type of blood magic fire (he inherited from his father) the downside being the only activate through, well blood, specifically his own blood. He has a reason for whacking himself with a baton. To counteract it though, he has the fastest healing factor out of any Vampire. Appearance wise, he changes when using his powers. His eyes going from a pale grey to a glowing blood red and and the whites of his eyes going black. Some black ichor occasionally pours out of them too like tears. Its genuinely spooky compared to his usual look. He could use other blood as well, but that's what his father tends to do and he's not his father. (Though I have been playing around with a moment in my theoretical battle scene...) Simon gave him a dagger for self defence, but he can also use it for other reasons (see, giving his magic more power. His doesn't need much, his magic is extremely volatile)   Simon: Can bond with animals. He befriended Taka not long after he was turned. He can also turn into the animals he has bonded with (kind of shifting into them) He also has even sharper senses than most vampires.. In terms of combat, Simon of course has his Katana. Modified to be able to also work on Vampires. He hopes he never needs to use it at all, its there as a precaution. If that fails, he can also morph the ends of his hands to have talons for very close quarter situations. He also decided to arm and train Klavier and Seb, just in case.   - Edgeworth: His appearance follows the main points of a Vampire. Pointed ears that he can change to look normal if needed, pale grey eyes that shine slightly in certain light that turn red when he uses his powers. And pale skin. Got most of his powers from Von Karma (who in turn got most of his from Van Zieks) with some minor changes. He can turn into mist, create long sharp claws on his hands, and appear more bat-like and monstrous if he chooses (think Regis from the Witcher lore, specifically the games.) He can also morph into shadows and I’m laying around with the idea of him being able to grow large bat wings. (BIG DGS2 SPOILERS) Kazuma: Though he has lived to be over one hundred years at this point, Kazuma has the appearance of someone who is a most in his mid-forties. His hair is either slicked back or as it normally is and is starting to grey on the sides. His eyes a bright gold (he uses contacts to hide them) and his ears only have a slight point when not in full vampire mode. For unique powers, his revolve around his sword. Kind of like a hexblade warlock in D&D minus most of the magic. He can teleport in blinking bursts, and create shadowy blades. He can also move shadows both around Karuma or his target that act also like the D&D spell Hex. Other than that he is extremely fast and skilled with the sword.  (I would go into Van Zieks and Von Karma’s powers but this is already gotten so so long)       

THE FIRST WEEK

 The first week after being turned into a Vampire is the worst. Part of the reason new Vampires are put in a week long isolation so they can at least get the hang of everything before they cause more harm to themselves and others.  The first week is usually is the hardest mainly because they suddenly have abilities with no control over them and they are at their most...potent in the first week. They appear hard and fast before balancing out a bit. Still powerful, but more manageable. Klavier:  Turned by Van Zieks. When Klavier is first turned, he doesn't have control over his scream yet. And guess what? One of the first things he does after waking up from being turned is let out an unholy screech that nearly deafens everyone in the room before they have to knock him out. They end up putting him in one of the soundproof rooms meant to help with heightened senses. The first two days are especially hard because he couldn't even speak without it turning into a screech. The fear that he wouldn't be able to talk or sing again was real. The teleportation didn't happen till about halfway through and started small. He'd end up jumping all around the room in short bursts before he willed himself to stop. His first big teleport happened when he was feeling especially lonely and ended up right outside Sebastian's door. That...didn't go well.Sebastian: Turned by Blaise Debeste. Sebastian's week was rough because his power, while being more situational, is very potent. They had to all but wrap the boy in cotton wool and bubble wrap to stop it from activating. If he bumped a wall too hard a fire would start. Thank god the room they put him in for the week was fire proof for that exact reason. They learned the hard way though, that intense emotional pain also affects it. Basically poor Seb's room was mostly on fire for most of the week. You could hear him crying, but opening the door meant most likely getting burned. The closest anyone got was Klavier teleporting into the room after teleporting right outside his door. In his defence, he didn't know about the fire. Still has a faint burn mark on his shoulder from it. Sebastian still feels really guilty about it.

Simon: Also turned by Van Zieks. Simon’s first week was pretty fine except for the whole extremely heightened senses part. After he got Taka, he learned quickly how to use his abilities and to train them up. Certain noises still bug him, however. 

Edgeworth: Turned by Von Karma. Edgeworth stayed in the Von Karma mansion for his first week. Most of the week involved him learning not to stab himself with claws or randomly turn into mist. Also dealing with the fact his mentor was not what he though he was, that too. 

(DGS2)

Kazuma: Spent his entire first week unconscious, so really his first week turned into his first month. Follows the events of canon where he didn’t remember who he was after being saved and turned. Up until the events of 2-3.   

--

And thats it! For now. Sorry for the very long lore dump but I said I have a lot of notes so here they are. Enjoy! 

[ayellowbirds]

Today being my birthday, i had the time and energy to finally do some drawing after ages of neither time nor drive. So, i spent that on sketching out some headshots of the recurring characters of 33 Usher Street, my 1920s (and beyond?) vampire hunters story. Meet the employees, management, friends, and nuisances of the Usher Street House of Antiquities and Curios, an estate management company specializing in settling the affairs of the unusually deceased. This is both a source of income and a cover for their real calling: the elimination of dangerous vampires and other hostile undead. 

Solomon “Sol” Szombathy (gay intersex man), a Jewish dhampir of Romanian-American extraction (late of Pittsburgh, Vandalia) has arrived at the USHAC with his guardian in tow, after both of them got involved in a vampire attack. Sol’s ability to see the invisible and the surges of supernatural strength he gets when battling the undead are especially useful, as is the hawthorn-wood cane he uses to deal with the chronic pain he feels the rest of the time. 

James “Jim” Cullock III (asexual cisgender man) is a Scottish immigrant who helped co-found the USHAC as the assistant of a longtime vampire hunter; his love of gardening has given him many potent botanical weapons against vampires, including especially hardy and richly-scented roses that repel most bloodsuckers. He’s taken to maintaining a backstage role for the most part, as his lifelong issues with visual hallucinations have gotten worse with age.

The Reverend Doctor Matteus J. Hammer (transgender man of no particular sexuality) is an aging monster hunter of no small repute, his experience having brought him briefly as a boarder to the Szombathy house. His recommendation brought Sol to Usher Street, but can the perspective of this eccentric wandering hero be relied upon?

Randolph Carter (in-denial bisexual cis man) was once an author of minor repute with a fondness for the strange and occult, but encounters with the genuinely supernatural have mellowed his previously bigoted worldview. While he still struggles to be a halfway decent person in a reality that is at odds with his beliefs, his expertise with languages, obscure subject matters, and research makes him at least a useful jackass when it comes to spending time among his books.

Pluton is a very good judge of character, for a one-eyed cat. And oddly skilled at making his way out of dangerous situations, to the point that one might almost think he has more than the usual nine lives. It’s no wonder that the USHAC often bring the cat along.

Constance “Connie” Wright (pansexual cis woman) is a former orphan with the miraculous talent to ‘chew’ raw materials into new shapes, a skill she most often uses to create nails for sealing up coffins and the like. Naturally, the rail-thin Connie’s favorite weapon is a heavily weighted steel sledgehammer, when she can’t just do some slugging with a sturdy baseball bat.

Dorotheea “Dotty” Szombathy (transgender lesbian) is a golem that once served as Sol’s guardian, and is now happily living as his adopted sister. Her ability to reshape her naturally earthen clay body pairs well with her immunity to most forms of vampiric attack, as an artificial being. Prone to switching between having difficulty speaking at all and being effusively loquacious, she finds it easiest to focus when she has something to occupy her hands and mind.

Marie Bosley (bisexual cis woman) was and is the greatest vampire hunter in the United States, even if these days she prefers to stay at home and listen to music. Her unmatched knowledge of apotropaic magic allows her to create boundaries and barriers that no vampiric influence can pass, and lets her open the way for her proteges.

Esther "Essie” Levi (asexual cis woman) is the self-proclaimed ‘fastest knot-tier east of the Rockies’, and an unmatched expert in knotting string, yarn, thread, and cord to achieve magical effects. Paired with a gift for strategic thinking and an eye for symptoms of vampirism, she can easily weave a web that no bloodsucker is going to get through.

Aleister “Al” Jones (gay cis man) is a multilingual expert in stealth, infiltration, and charm whose gentlemanly demeanor is in no way at odds with his fondness for boxing. Unfortunately for opponents that would see him as unarmed except for a disarming smile, he’s also the bearer of a pair of gloves lined with the relics of a Catholic saint invoked against vampires.

Wilhemina “Will” Fawkes (lesbian cis woman) is the USHAC’s resident machinery buff, with cutting-edge expertise in automobiles, radios, firearms, and more. Her fondness for artifice means that the only thing that can distract her from something shiny and new is an animated short at the nearest theater, and her love of testing the limits of machinery means that her allies often find she’s made unexpected ‘upgrades’ to important equipment.

Adriaen ten Boom (bisexual cis man) is the most senior of the employees of the USHAC, a skilled actor whose pyrokinetic gift makes his good looks more than just smoldering. In spite of these charms, he’s actually fairly naïve when it comes to romance, and is prone to charming his way into entanglements he didn’t mean to get into.

Smith the Mechanical Heel (just a real dick) is a World’s Fair experiment gone wrong, and now runs the criminal underworld in Jackson, Massachusetts—which puts him at odds with the USHAC, since that’s where their home base is. He sees most of the employees as potentially useful additions to his crew, but he’s especially interested in learning more about Dotty’s magically-constructed nature, in the hopes of making himself more lifelike. He’s not above getting involved in things that involve the undead....

The Ghosts of Madeline and Roderick Usher (cis lesbian and cis gay man) are the former owners of the land on which the USHAC was built, and haven’t moved on since the new tenants turned up. Freed of mortal concerns, they’re fond of teasing the living staff members, and serve as a second line of defense after Marie’s wards and magical traps. Roderick is absolutely certain that he’s going to get his ectoplasm all up on Randolph one of these days, and nobody feels up to questioning his taste in men; Madeline is the company gossip fiend and the best source of information on comings and goings at 33 Usher Street.

Dr. Joaquín de la Garza (closeted nonbinary queer) is a local physician who has a close working relationship with the USHAC, and is very fond of the mysteries and excitement they bring to his life. Exactly what brought a medical expert of Zapotec and Spanish heritage all the way up east is uncertain, but the good doctor seems to know a lot more about the supernatural than one might expect from just his familiarity with the secrets of the Usher Street staff.

Phoebe Khrysos (???) is a remarkably pristine ancient automaton, whose actual provenance is uncertain. Resembling a child made of silver, glass, and gold, she has a mischievous mystery about her that makes her more like a mechanical fairy than a precious relic. What motivates her and how she sees the living and the undead remain to be seen....

Zuleika Dobson (pansexual cis woman) is a a con artist, thief, and scammer who has broken many hearts and far more bank accounts; her lack of concern about what she leaves in her wake may have finally caught up with her when she targets some valuable goods in a city with a vampire problem. Can someone so untrustworthy be relied upon when there’s undeath to deal with, or will her self interest put her in the way of both bloodsuckers and the USHAC alike?

33 Usher Street leans heavily on the public domain, and will do so much more than just in the few characters here that originated elsewhere. Some of these designs are likely to change as the story develops, but i’m just so happy to finally get them on paper!

[vampireshdtw]

What We Do In The Shadows (2014)

Tonight, Eve, Henry, and Matt watched What We Do In The Shadows!

What We Do In The Shadows is a mockucumentary following a group of New Zealand-based vampire flatmates and their vampiric misadventures.

---

The vampires in this movie are playfully murderous social outcasts with an interest in engaging with the modern world around them to varying degrees.

After being nearly drained dry of blood and receiving the blood of a vampire, a newly-turned child of the night can enjoy the perks of undeath. While things like immortality, rapid healing, and heightened senses come naturally, young vampires must practice in order to fly properly, which they can do without having wings, as well as refine their ability to transform into animals such as bats, cats, and dogs. They are also capable of using mind control to enthrall their victims, though some are better at this than others.

They are able to give themselves clawlike feet to allow them to hang from the ceiling like a bat while they sleep, often done in dark, confined spaces like closets or cupboards. Other sleeping options include a classic coffin or tomb.

Vampires nourish themselves with the blood of humans, who are almost always killed after being fed upon, with a preference for sexual virgins. Animal blood and sometimes even entire animal bodies can also suffice to quench their thirst, but it seems like an uncommon or old-fashioned practice. Although food usually consumed by humans is inedible, they’re fully capable of drinking alcohol.

The daily lives of vampires are riddled with inconveniences, especially when interacting with humans. If the hurdle of being unable to enter an establishment without being invited in wasn’t high enough, then the hassle of cleaning blood stains out of your antique furniture certainly is. Their inability to see their reflections also makes looking presentable an overly-tedious chore. Older vampires struggle with blending in with the modern crowds, while younger vampires struggle with keeping their new and exciting abilities to themselves, risking attracting the attention of vampire hunters.

Methods to protect oneself from vampires include wearing silver, seeing as it burns their skin upon touching it, as well as carrying a visible article of faith, such as a crucifix, which causes them to shrink back in disgust. Although mundane injuries can hurt them and even temporarily halt them, it’s highly unlikely to kill them. In order to kill a vampire, one must either stake or stab it in the heart, or burn them with sunlight, causing them to burst into flames.

Despite being quite a large supernatural population, vampires aren’t the only creatures that lurk in the night. They share their spaces (sometimes begrudgingly) with demons, zombies, and witches, among other creatures. They also seem to interact with werewolves regularly, however the relationship between the groups tends to be strained, given how quick to anger werewolves can be, and how much vampires enjoy pestering them.

Among humans, vampires are known to choose a select few to become their familiars. This is no supernatural ritual, but rather the loose promise of immortality to a desperate human who hopes to gain it through completing tasks for their vampire- a thankless duty, identified by a distinct master-servant relationship. Though rare, some vampires simply enjoy the company of humans, either to learn more about their world, stay connected with their human pasts, or to quench their sexual desires.

---

Henry and Eve have been telling me to watch this movie since day one, and I can honestly say that when the movie ended, I was ready to watch it all over again! It highlights the comedy of classic vampire weaknesses, while simultaneously not shying away from the more brutal and gorey aspects of vampire media. The characters are hilarious, the outfits are fantastic, and I will most definitely be recommending this movie to every vampire lover I know. (Matt)

A classic. Probably the best vampire comedy we'll watch. It's a goofy and off-beat mockumentary. Pays homage to a lot of the classic vampire mythos, including Nosferatu and Lost Boys, which we watched previously. It's an oddly relatable mixture of down-to-earth and off the wall that loves taking away the mystique of vampires, but that's not a mark against it. Strongly recommended 8.5/10. (Eve)

I love this movie so much! I've seen it a few times before but now that I've re-watched it having seen a lot of the movies where the tropes come from, I appreciate it even more. It's clear that the filmmakers love vampire media- even the characters make direct references to other movies for ideas on how to mess with people. The movie is dense with lore and enjoys playing with the tropes of the genre. All the characters are fantastic and varied and the dynamic between them works incredibly well. Aside from it being hilarious, it's also a really well made movie with good horror moments and great practical effects. I'd easily recommend this to people who love dark humour. (Henry)

[hello-im-not-a-possum]

" Leave! Me! Alone! " (for the prompt thing :3)

*Fully dusts off BATIM Monster AU due to it being the spooky month* You know, I don't think I've pinned down what type of monster Thomas was when I started this...

And I recently realized that I have a strong lack of vampires in this AU.

The GENT Mechanic wasn't a full-on monster hater. He had no interest in joining any monster-hunting group that sniffed him out, he often rolled his eyes at small-town preachers who looked down at them, and he mostly minded his own business when it came to the tricky relationship between humans and monsters.

But he also wasn't anywhere as enthusiastic about the studio as Joey and Allison were. He was a sensible man, he knew that monsters were dangerous and that it was stupid not to only trust them at an arm's length.

He could admit that he admired that his client could go as far as to start an entire animation empire just to ensure that his friend (and many others he had met along the way) would be in a place where they weren't seen as outcasts and wouldn't stop doing what they loved because of their circumstances, but he couldn't help but feel... wary of the majority of the studio's strange inhabitants.

Nobody would blame the human mechanic for avoiding the music department as often as he could, knowing the Music Director and how he viewed humans, it would be like blaming a mouse for avoiding a lion's den.

At the same time, he would get funny looks from others as he never went near the studio without a silver cross, an iron ring, a small bag of mixed herbs that was dubbed 'monster bane' due to it being a mix of various monster-repelling plants, and a bag of salt. Because of this, Thomas was not a popular person in the mostly-monster populated studio, but that didn't matter to him.

This wasn't his circus, it wasn't his monkeys, and once his contract ended, he'd probably never go there again. At least, that's what he would tell himself until the day wearing his cross started to burn himself.

--------

"It's a good thing that Allison found you in this state and threw your... wards away imminently." Dr. Hackenbush sighed as he continued to apply the numbing paste to his still twitching patient's neck. "Due to the secrecy surrounding vampire covens, their reluctance to talk about their various races' weaknesses as they're a monster hunter's favorite prey, and the many different types of vampires in the world, it's actually hard to determine what can and can't kill a recently turned vamp. Especially when one can't remember the circumstances of their change."

Tom was partly focusing on what the doctor was telling him, partly freaking himself out by trying and failing to remember how and why he had turned, and mostly keeping an eye out on the entrance to the infirmary as if he expected something to fly in and finish him off.

"Vampires in general might be notoriously hard to keep down for the count, but the process of the metamorphosis from human to vampire is extremely exhausting on the newly made fledgling." The doctor stated as he moved on to put more of the paste on Tom's other injured areas. "While this wouldn't be lethal to an older vamp, it's still extremely painful to them and considered to be torture among many of their races. In your current state and judging based off of the traits I've seen so far... ...I strongly suspect that the cross would've eventually burnt your head clean off your neck if you had not been found in time."

Thomas absentmindedly put his hand where his cross would normally be and gritted his teeth.

Nobody visited him yet, nobody aside from Allison even approached the door before the doctor shooed her out. He wasn't in the state to receive visitors yet, but he could already feel the parade of smug monsters gawking at him. He could already hear them laughing at the loss of his humanity, he could already picture several of them sticking their noses up at his misery declaring 'serves you right!' at him.

"...Could you open your mouth for me Mr. Conner?"

"Huh?" The mechanic snapped out of his day-nightmare and acknowledged the doctor's request. "Oh yeah, sure."

"Thank goodness, it seems that you've been brought in just at the cusp of changing..." While Tom didn't close his mouth on the doctor, he did look at him funny when he began to paint a different paste in his mouth, specifically, on his gums and teeth. The stuff made his mouth feel strongly like static in a matter of seconds. "Comment all you want, but you'd be thanking me if you knew exactly how much of a bitch it would hurt if you had to go through this without the strongest painkillers mankind could make."

"Well I ned mure af ha stuff if I turn inta a baht manstah?"

The mechanic half sarcastically asked through an extremely numb mouth as soon as the doctor was done putting the paste in there.

"No, unlike a werewolf who will transform based on the position of the moon, a vampire's ability to turn into a bat is normally rooted in the said vampire's willpower and or their mental and emotional state. It will not hurt unless you will it to. But turning into a bat and back again will use up a lot of energy and burn a ton of calories, so I don't recommend it as of right now. For similar reasons, I also wouldn't recommend swimming twenty miles and running a marathon back to back either."

The doctor did a once-over on his patient's treated injuries and checked his vitals before giving him his normal clothes back.

"Alright, it seems that everything's up to order..." The doctor proceeded to write down a list that he handed to Thomas. "Don't eat anything until after you can fully feel your mouth again, otherwise you might accidentally cut out your own tongue. If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to either come to me about it or ask around the studio for either werewolf packs or vampire covens. The latter's rarer than the former but werewolves and vampires have been known to get along well due to the pair often engaging in a symbiotic relationship."

"I thawt tat Wahwoles an vamhires hated each other..?"

He was internally grateful that the staticky feeling of his mouth was subsiding just enough for him to be able to talk normally again.

"That's a common misconception that came from World War II I'm afraid; American soldiers who happen to be vampires hate Nazis who happen to be werewolves and vice versa."

Thomas frowned as he stopped to read the list, it was basically a bunch of common vampire dos and don'ts, mostly don'ts; avoid sunlight, religious symbols and texts, mirrors in public areas, etc. He ran his tongue against his top and bottom canine teeth and while his tongue still felt off from the medicine, he could tell that those teeth were longer and sharper.

He knew that with each passing second, he was becoming more and more like one of the studio's many monsters that he was wary of, and he felt gutted because of it.

"...Thanks for everything, doc. I... I'll go ask Joey for some time off to adjust to all of... this."

-------------

Instead of going to Joey, Tom had spent the rest of the day trying to carry on with his daily tasks and work as usual, fixing up the pipes, checking on the Ink machine, mostly just trying to bury the knowledge of his vampirism in work.

Thankfully he was unbothered by the studio's workers, so it mostly worked out fine for him. Until he got to his least favorite part of the studio to work in: The music department.

Part of him was tempted to just make Wally do this, but as a werewolf, Wally would sense that he wasn't wearing silver or wolf's bane anymore and would be curious as to why he wasn't wearing any. He didn't want to lie to him but he also didn't want the Janitor to find out about his ...condition, he wasn't ready for that yet. In fact, he didn't want anyone in the studio's wolf pack to find out about this. He had goosebumps on the outside and inside just thinking about how they'd react.

He knew that they wouldn't be smug about it like how he assumed other monsters would, even worse than that. They'd know that he didn't have a coven as he was only recently turned, so they'd probably welcome him into the pack with open arms, especially if he was one of those vampires that was able to turn into a wolf too. They'd freely and willingly accept them as one of their own, a monster.

He tried to shake those thoughts away and continue to work on pipes that had been bitten into by the godforsaken raven monster. He cursed about Sammy under his breath as he fixed them as usual. He could feel the music director's presence as he did so, but unlike how this normally went, he didn't sense any hostility or hunger coming from the looming shadow of the beast in human's clothing.

Thomas had his back turned away from the normally wrathful monster, he wasn't seeing what the man's expression was. He didn't know if the damned bird was proud of his lost humanity, looking at him like he was now worthy of being an underling of his, or if the musician simply pitied him for god knows why.

But the mere presence of the beast alone was driving him crazy.

"Leave! Me! ALONE!" The vampire mechanic spun around and half-shouted half-hissed at the confused looking music director. "I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT ME, BUT I DON'T NEED YOU TO LOOM OVER MY WORK AND RUB IN WITH YOUR PRESENCE THAT I'M A FUCKING UNDEAD, BLOOD-SUCKING, FANGED FREAK!"

Thomas wasn't sure which reaction he was excepting from the beast, but he felt a mixture of goosebumps and anger as the director stepped forward and looked at him with intrigue.

"...Do you mean a vampire?"

"Yes, of course I do." The mechanic rolled his eyes as he fought back the urge to fight the raven. "What gave it away?"

Sammy smiled at him, not in that hungry 'I want to eat you but know that I can't' kind of smile, but also not a smug 'haha! you're a monster too now!' way. Before today, Thomas wasn't sure that Sammy was physically capable of smiling like that and it both creeped him out and made him angrier about this situation.

"Nothing, you simply told me that yourself."

"...Then why were you starring at me like that?"

The Bird monster shrugged.

"I was just wondering why your presence didn't seem to harm anyone anymore." He stated as he turned to leave Tom to do his work. "I guess I know why now."

[umblebumble]

Dragon Age: Inquisition Daemons

So here’s another group daemon selection. I make my choices based off of a mix of analysis (The Daemon Forum is my favourite spot, link) and general vibe as well as plot/thematic things. For this, a lot of inspiration has come from fanfiction I’ve read where the daemon choice just makes sense. There will be minor spoilers for these characters personal plot arcs. Please let me know what you think, and share your own headcannons!

*As a note I tend to pick more mammals than anything else and I am working on widening my selections, but I still run very mammal-centric.

Solas - Common Raven. Raven’s are very clever birds and are great problem solvers and strategists. They go after what they want, and while they can roam in groups, they can work on their own as well. They are also mischievous and cocky; they will pull the tail feathers of larger birds to distract them from food or just for fun. This clever, cocky, proud bird is a very good match for our not-so-humble apostate. Thematically, ravens can be seen as death omens since they often eat carrion. However, they are also called ‘wolf birds’ because they have been known to have working relationships with wolves for hunting. Therefore a raven on the shoulder of a wolf would just make sense thematically to me.

Dorian - Scarlet Macaw. Parrots are far too clever for their own good and boredom is their worst enemy. Along with being bright and flashy to match the sparkly mage, their also very loud and opinionated and dramatic about everything just for the hell of it. I think a Macaw would be bold and striking on Dorian’s shoulder, and would have a razor tongue like the mage. However macaws can also be easily stressed and fall into self-destructive behaviour in bad environments. Thematically I think this parrot would have little bald patches hidden under its wings from where it would stress pluck. An interesting healing arc would be the bald patches growing back in as Dorian is accepted for who he is and doesn’t have to hide himself anymore.

Vivienne - Mute Swan. It can be said of water fowl that they appear graceful and serene on the surface but that’s because you can’t see the intricate paddling going on underneath. I feel that summarizes Vivienne well; she is serene and powerful and graceful at first glance, but behind the scenes there’s a lot of work and whispers and gathering of information. Swans are also very strong and assured. They could break bone with the strength of their wings, and they are confident and assured in their place and their power and status. Furthermore, they’re dedicated to their goals and will put in the work to reach them. However, I also like a swan for Vivienne because they mate for life. They are devoted to a single partner, and when that partner dies they mourn heavily. Vivienne appears unruffled and absolutely pristine to everyone around her and that’s because very few are allowed past her mask to see the softer heart inside that loves and then mourns her loved ones.

Iron Bull - Wild hog/Boar. Pigs are very underestimated animals - they appear big and slow, but they are vicious and incredibly intelligent. Pigs are seriously violent and I think this matches Bulls blood-thirsty battle-lust. But like Bull, his daemon would be underestimated; a war machine on the outside but the mind of a great spy on the inside. They’re social animals, and highly adaptable to a range of environments, and they can be very defensive and protective of themselves and those they care about. Overall I think a boar just suits every aspect of Bull visually and thematically.

Cassandra - Ram. *I initially said Mountain Goat but I had meant a Ram/Big Horned Sheep. Usually I headcanon Cassandra with a dog, a hound of some sort, but this was just very interesting and I quite liked it. When looking at a description of a Ram*, I just felt like it spoke for itself: “ Thick-skinned, competitive, and proud... Assertive and quick to put others in their place when they're crossed, definitely the confrontational sort. Highly defensive of their personal projects and themselves. Highly confident, not ones to doubt their abilities... Likely stubborn and highly straightforward, possibly blunt. Possibly planners, probably quite determined and persistent.” Cassandra is a hard-worker, determined and stubborn. She’s definitely the kind to attack a problem head-first, but she does have the capability to be quick, light on her feet and strategic about her approach. Rams are of the sheep family, and thus are very loyal and close to the people that belong in their circle.

Blackwall - Milksnake. Snakes are generally non-confrontational. They don’t pick fights but they will finish them, which is something I can see reflected in Blackwall’s more laid back attitude towards battle than the other warrior companions. Milksnakes are also very adaptable and will do well wherever they are. They’re a mix of solitary and social, they like being around others but also need their own space. They’re also rather internal and have a lot going on inside they don’t let show, not the kind to wear their heart on their sleeve. Mainly I enjoy the thematic meaning of a milksnake. Milksnakes are adapted to mimic a poisonous snake. Their colour pattern is close to that of a much more dangerous snake, and as such they often trick predators into thinking they are something they’re not. I like this thematically for the not-Warden who is pretending to be something much more fearsome than he is.

Sera - Rat. The common rat is an incredibly adaptable, resourceful, hardy creature. They will find a way in whatever circumstances and use whatever they have to their advantage. They are highly social beings and are made to work in groups, in teams and with others - a network much like the Red Jennies or little people. They’re bold, assertive, and even a little aggressive at times.  A rat is seen as vermin and unwanted, but they’re everywhere and are clever and have their little hands in everything. Also, rats are thought of to be tricksters in mythos - the Chinese zodiac being an example of a rat tricking its way to the top. Sera uses her tricky playfulness mainly to pull pranks and cause mayhem, but she also uses it to stick up for others and assert her place in the world.

Varric - Vampire bat. Now I like the headcanon that dwarves don’t have daemons due to Fade-connection stuff and instead have weapons/armour like Armored Bears, but for the sake of argument I wanted to find what his daemon could be. A vampire bat is an unusual animal, and I think it, like Varric, would be the kind of person you don’t easily forget encountering. They are very sensitive, aware animals and are very in-tune with their surroundings and whats going on. They’re very social animals and thrive in groups. They have great communication skills and form close bonds with those they’re close to. Varric would do anything for the people he is closest to, and his natural environment is surrounded by people spinning tales and connecting with others. I think it’s an unusual daemon choice but I also like the idea that its a fun parallel to a surface dwarf - an underground animal, i.e. a rat, but in the sky with wings.

Cole - Unsettled. I think that if Cole did have a daemon, it would be unsettled. He is a spirit and he is in constant state of flux, despite having a central purpose of compassion. And even if he becomes more human, he is very reminiscent of a child learning the world and as such I do not think he would be settled until he becomes more settled in himself. (I do have further headcanon ideas about this spirit-daemon stuff but that may be another post, or a later addition to this one. Let me know if you’re interested)

Leliana - Mongoose. Leliana was harder for me because I don’t know her as well. I didn’t play Origins, but from what I know she was a much younger, more playful, less burdened and jaded person back then. I think this suits a mongoose very well. They can be very inquisitive and open and playful in their youth, unfearful of the wide world and ready to investigate anything to learn more. But as an adult they are more cautious and guarded. Mongoose are incredible predators and are very adaptive, able to take on even snakes that others don’t dare attack. They are more solitary and secretive, and I think an elusive, mysterious mongoose would be a wonderful hint at the fierce power hidden behind the cooler facade of her everyday persona. Brutal, subtle, and unexpected, a mongoose fits the spymaster well as far as I know her.

Cullen - Border Collie. I always knew Cullen would have a dog daemon, it was just a matter of which. He’s loyal and extremely hardworking, and so I decided on herding dogs. I chose Border Collie specifically because of their intelligence, independence and ability to think strategically. This is the kind of dog that will happily take orders and follow command, but will also work on its own to get a job done. Of herding dogs, Border Collies also have the ability to be a bit more ruthless, I feel. They aren’t timid dogs and if left to their own devices could become destructive and rough due to boredom and lack of stimulation. Also, they are predisposed to listen and obey and thus could fall prey to poor leadership (as seen in Kirkwall). Any dog I think could fit for our loyal, hardworking Commander, but I think Border Collie is a good fit. A bit of a farm-boy turned soldier, follower turned commander aesthetic fits thematically with his overall arc.

Josephine - Zebra Longwing. This kind of butterfly is beautiful and poisonous, a perfect combination for our ambassador. Butterfly’s are social creatures and do well around others. Furthermore this kind of butterfly works in groups to achieve its goal, suggesting a calm, diplomatic mind that is good at working with others towards a goal. Furthermore, butterflies are very sensitive and aware creatures; they pay attention to their surroundings and are very intuitive about the environment and others. Lastly, with a slightly toxic nature, these insects warn off predators with their flashy pattern that advertise them as dangerous. I like this because I think Josephine’s daemon would be a great hint at how not-helpless she is, a bit of a giveaway to her power and abilities. Plus I think a pretty butterfly perched like a beautiful broach suits her aesthetic.

[popculturebuffet]

The Owl House: Enchanting Grom Fright: Happy Valentine’s Gays

Happy Valentine’s Day owl ladies, gentleman and non-binary folks! It’s time to finish off this holiday in proper style with a LONG overdue review of enchanting Grom Fright and even longer overdue coverage of the Owl House.  The Owl House was one of the best debuts of last year if not THE best, only in contention because Close Enough also started last year and looks to surpass regular show in terms of quality. But with stunning animation, tons of representation, and colossal worldbuilding. And given how i’m on record for thinking Star Vs went so far down the tubes they bumped into where Cthulu is sleeping, it’s nice to have another magic based show that seems to be on the right track: carefully building i’ts world, supporting cast and for today’s topic main romance. It also rather than just obliquely hint one character was bi and the other pan, actually goes out of it’s way to have a bisexual protaginst with a gay love intrest. As my good friend @jess-the-vampire has brought up quite a bit, star had plnety of options. .but no willingness to actually campaign for any queer rep, the way Gravity Falls head Alex Hirsch tried to, he still gets credit for trying, and Owl House creator Dana Terrace gets full credit for. 

Terrace got her start working on Gravity Falls in line production before working her way up to directing for ducktales, being instrumental in how Webby was animated and how she moves and acts, and being the director for several classic season one episodes including��“Woo-Hoo!”, “The Spear of Selene” , “Day of the Only Child!” which was one of my faviorites from season 1 and “The Beagle Birthday Massacre!”. And while I can’t 100% confirm she’s the only part responsible for starting Weblena, given she was director on an episode where a lot of the romantic subtext was in the visuals, she certainly helped so thank you Dana. Thank you a lot. Their adorable. Point is she’s a talented lady and wasn’t satisfied with directing, so she pitched her own show, combining tons of ides and stuff including of all things, Pokemon Red. I checked the article wikipedia had sourced, it was one of her happy childhood memories as it was one of the last things her dad gave her. Awwwwwww. That’s as sweet as it is painful. She’s also currently dating Alex Hirsch, something I was entirely unaware of but find also adorable. Point is i’m glad I looked into her as she’s a very nice person, and very much my kind of weirdo and i’m happy for her sucess and her singuarly weird show that sprung from that sucess. 

Now that part of it’s out of the way the episode itself was an uphill battle as you’d expect. As anyone familiar with this blog is aware, but just in case your new, you tend to hear me bitching about Disney’s handling of queer represntation a LOT

For the most part Disney’s pretty bad at it: There was the string of “FIRST GAY CHARACTER IN AN X” they had going for a while.. that consisted of a character I dind’t realize was gay, a kiss I didn’t see, and a talk with a character who I honestly wouldn’t of been looking for had disney not patted themselves on the back with some giant sized hands because htey saved some pym particles for that occasion. Ducktales was unable to have Penumbra come out as gay more clearly because I don’t know Ducks can’t be day.. but they can be IMPLIED to be gay or pansexual as hard as the crew possibly can so they win anyway. Pixar was able to have a gay lead character for one of it’s sparks shorts out and even focused on him coming out of the closet and it’s very good and something I WILL give Pixar credit for... but not Disney Plus who go out of their way to not mention the lead being gay.. despite the fact the short opens with a gay space cat riding a gay space dog out of a rainbow and then it being revaled our lead is in a relationship not long into the short. My point is the idiots who won’t watch this for having gay characters are just going to turn it off, who cares what they think, why are you like this Disney. They need to do better, and be better and i’m getting tired of this shit.

That being said... this episode is a step in the right directoin as despite having to get past one obstructive asshole, not her words but damn if it isn’t the truth, as the rest of hte execs were fine with having a gay character, Terrace fought hard for it and WON, having a clearly gay character, and a clear road to a gay romace as the lead one, all because she wanted some representation in her works. So to honor this, I present this review in honor of love, effort and saying screw you to not having represntation because money. Join me under the cut and allt hat. 

We open in the owl house, in the owl house, duck dodge push and shove, it’s how we show our love in the.. you get the point. Luz is learning yet another Rune, this time plant runes.. and already something I love about the series pops up: the fact Luz’s rise in skill is gradual but noticable. Each spell noticably improves in potency with time,  going from simple lights to shaping them into simple constructs, and learning to control or time her spells and glpyhs so they launch she she says so, with each one getting more powerful the more she learns. And on top of that osmething I just noticed on rewatch of this episode is her tecnique in finding them evolved, something I dind’t notice the first time because I hadn’t fully caught up and checked this one out to see if Disney would actually let them go through with it.. and they did. Point is her first spell is found by accident, her second by realizing how her magic works fundemntally, both require skilled deduction and on the fly thinking and casting, so she’s already pretty skilled.. but now sh’es ACTIVELY seeking out a new spell here for the first time. She knows how she gets them, she knows each school is tied to a form, and she likely got the plant from williow since that’s her thing and she’s a saint. A demon but also a saint. They can have those too. It’s what I assume relicor is. 

I miss that goblin demon bat man. Point is it shows an evolution in Luz’s thinking: while it’s a subtle thing she took a more proactive approach this time even if it took a lot of practice.. and it pay soff as by the time of her next rune, while it’s once again sorta handed to her she has less time to learn it, almost none, and finds it singed onto a ball.. and learns it effortlessly to the point where by the next episode it’s a crucial plot point. IT’s subtle but clever character progression, and stuff I really enjoy, showing our hero going from a bit inept but not helpless or incomptient.. to a force to be reckconed with and far more clever and strategic than yo’ud expect given her sometimes reckless and almost always happy go lucky attitude. 

Luz worries teaching King about the internet was a bad idea because he gets excited about a literal cat fight which .. yeah... it was a bad idea but not because of that.. but because next he finds someone saying the earth is flat and she wisely yanks it away. It’s.. very sad that the absolutley maddening and easily debunked flat earth theory is still RELATIVLEY more sane than the stuff we’ve had pop up during the trump era and the cornoavirus pandemic. 

But one of the main conlficts of the episode pops up as Luz’s mom messages her and Luz can’t bring herself to tell her anything and just sends a thumbs up.  I do think this episode helps even things from the pilot a bit as it was a bit lopsided: While I got that Camillia was genuinely struggling with how to deal with Luz, and was offered an out and had to take it... the fact she sees NO problem with the normalcy camp, which comes off intentioanlly or not a sa parallel to conversion camps or camps to make autistic kids “Normal”. And as someone whose both bisexual and autistic, I naturally relate to luz way more as someone whose intrests sometimes just don’t quite fit with everyone else, and who dosen’t get how bad some of their actions were.  THat’s why this episode feels like a necessary course correction: Luz is shown to genuinely love her mama and feel guilty.. but we see camilia genuinlely loves and supports her daughter a bit more. While it was clear from the pilot this shows it more, with her genuinely just wanting to know her daughter’s okay and checking up on her, and giving me the feeling that possible consequences or no if something bad WAS happening or she didn’t hear from her for a long time, she would’ve drove up there to get her. It feels like the writers realized the implications they accidently created and wanted to fix it, though I can’t say for certain. But if so good on you for course correcting, not every show does that. 

But King encourages her, telling her she’s doing the right thing by lying and to “trust the demon on your shoulder”. Keep this in mind for later, but that joke is great on it’s own. But soon i’ts time for school and Hooty.. barfs out Luz’s books for her. 

I haven’t been this disturbed since.. (Looks at the clock) About 2 maybe three hours ago when I watched a man have, if apparently shorter than the oriiginal cut as I wanted to see everyone else’s reactions dammit, sex with hiis car which was possesed by the mad ghost of his dead wife. Because that’s the kind of stuff i’m into when i’m not reviewing stuff. And before that Tinky.. just everything about tinky. 

I do not have enough time to get into TInky here or why he exestially horrifies me. Or why Jeff blim is a living god. I will save that for a proper review if I have the time tomorrow. Point is I saw a lot today and that still tops it. Willow and Gus are likewise grossed out and want to leave. 

Cut to school where Luz wonders what’s with all the decorations.. that remind me of this honestly

And frankly given the whole state of the boiling isles it REALLY wouldn’t surprise me if the decorations were indeed well cooked faces. But i’ts Grom time, which means elaborate gromposals (Some Dude asks Skara out with a beating heart and an elaborate medical proposal.. which.. points for effort. And for using an actual heart. Couldn’t get one for mine. ), dancing and someone being chosen for Grom Queen. WHich Willow hints isn’t as nice as that sounds. Before we can get into that though Amity bumps into them and gets into a tizzy before meekly greeting “Luz.. and Co”. which.. not going to lie.. is my faviorite gag of the season. Just htw way she adds them and just the way Willow and Guz both smile widely at it as if to say “That’s us!”. Amity drops a note and snatches it back. This will be important later, you all know why, point is Amity becomes Grom Queen.. and is heavily depressed with Luz following her to find out why.  At the gym.. she does indeed ifnd out why: Turns out Grom is not some mutation of an earthname but is based around a horrifying entity lurking beneath the isles, Gromethious the Fear Bringer, who emerges from his slumber once a year and must be fought back and brings out his target’s greatest fears. Just like groundhog day only with less time loops and rodent abuse. Amity is scared of hers, and i’ll obviously get into this more later, and Luz simply suggests asking bump to opt out and Amity appricates the support. Awwww. 

Luz heads home and we find out Eda is chaperoning and King is mcing. Eda is also rocking a suit. Just damn girl, damn. But Luz considers taking her place.. and gets laughed at, with Eda assuming she’ll have to save her and King just being kind of a dick. I mean he’s a loveable thoroughly cuddly dick but he’s still a dick... just more like a stuffed plushie of one.  So basically exactly like Tinky. Look I mention him more than once in this review he dosen’t put me in the bastard box. It’s a great system.  Naturally this makes Luz more determined than ever to prove herself and she finds Amity in the night, with Amity having been unable to get out of it.. and Bumps a resonable guy, he just wants a substitute and no one wants the job.. except Luz who galdly volunteers and insists ntohing scares her before the giant spider on the back of her head proves otherwise. Because of course it does, spiders are fucking terrifying. Kill then all.. except the pokemon ones. Galvaltula are sweethearts. As are Ariadoses. Sweethearts who can elctorcute or poison you but still. 

So the next way Luz begins preparing.. and by that I mean it’s time for training. Sadly we don’t get an episode of Luz and Amity getting trapped in an 80′s fashion montage... I mean yes Rise of the TMNT also did that plot the same year, but we had two diffrent plots about someone getting trapped in an eldtrich sitcom and a THIRD this year, all entertaingly unique. Though we do get Luz pulling out an otter suit that’s adorable and she sadly still hasn’t worn yet. “This one says i’m an otter, with a dark side”. She also got thrown out of a school dance for.. wearing an otter suit. Okay the other things we saw in the pilot were understandable but htis is just.. baffling. Who cares what you wear to a dance as long as it isn’t horribly racist of nothing at all. 

Damn you flanders and your glorious ass. Point is Amity shows up and threatens hooty’s life because.. he’s hooty. The fact he isn’t dead already is a testiment to how badass he is and how much money he’d cost Eda to replace. Owl Tubes don’t come out of a stygian hole in the unvierse every day you know. That’s only every three years. It’s basic styigan owl tube science. 

But Amity wants her to be ready and that she’ll have to face her greatest fear.. and cue hooty popping up, poking amity in the face and asking if she wants to know her greatest fear. Really he can clearly hear everything in the house given he heard that, so he heard the death threat he just chose to ignore it. That.. was a mistake. And by mistake I mean we get a hilarious cut to the outside of the house as Luz tries to stop her love intrest from murdering her second mom’s tube monster. The result is some bandages and an eyepatch. To be fair that last one was just flaring up from a  previous beating. 

For this solem task of training, Amity has brought in her local disaster bisexuals.. aka her twin siblgins Eldric and Elmyra, whose greatest fears are dying alone and being stuck with Eldric. Both understandable. They conjur luz’s greatest fears which are.. some of the funniest shit I heard all year.. and also very relatable. Human souls in cat bodies, which is genuinely terrifying good job Luz, Jerks on the internet who mansplain things, relatable, and soy milk. 

But Amity knows this is just the openign act. it needs to be something deeper.. so while Luz dosen’t realize it’s probably her mom issues she brings up her issues with her other mom: that Eda dosen’t think she can do this. Hence we get a giant eda putting Luz in a babychair. Before we can unpack how wrong that sentence sounded, Eda comes out, and marvels at how hot giant her is. But she’s quickly distracted from sex with a giant version of herself, which is not an easy feat, by the relization “Wait Luz is going to fight grom isn’t she.. fuck i’m going to have to save her”, though Luz holds firm on doing it to prove she’s fine and dosen’t need to be saved constantly. it’s a good conflict. Eda IS right that Luz is not ready for this alone, that she’s overcompensating and that Eda would, in normal circumstances be the one to rescue her. As we’ll see it’s not her who does it but still, were this any other foe she probably would be. But Luz’s motivations are equally understandable: She wants to help her friend not have to do this and she wants to prove she can do it. She just wants her mentor, the only person in her life up to meeting her that GNEUINELY supported her in magic to respect her. To have faith in her and actually see how far she’s come. And given how her own mother writes off her dreams, if not unrealistically, and before this she had no friends or support system to speak of outside her mom, it’s easy to see why this is so improtant to Luz: she just wants to make the one person in her life whose ever support her actually think it was worth it when in truth Eda already thinks it does and just dosen’t want her to die. 

She’s just not good with talking to her or not condescending to her as her own ego is stacked sky high, probably because the whole curse thing meant Eda was an outcast by default and the system wants to either chain her to one form of magic and one only or shackle her to them as a hired goon. Her ego, while justified, is also a defense mechanism: a way to shield herself from the fact almost no one cares about her and one of the few people who DOES, dosen’t care what she wants or needs. Once the curse happened she lost just about everything and had to rebuild and thus build up walls around herself and kept everyone else at arms length till Luz changed her for the better. It’s just a tragic clash of two wills both with similar problems but both unwilling to talk about them. 

But with time up, our heroes need to get to the diggity dance. So they indeed do and we get some fun sight gags, Willow makes corsages,  that one girl with the cresent head somehow ended up with Mathomule and is not happy, as anyone who ends up with him should. And it’s time for Luz to face her destiny.. in a tux with a tutu because of course, and Amity likes it because also of course. 

IT’s time to rumble, with King getting nervous due to eda’s prodding about mcing since his co-mc gus is really good at it, and introducing our champion.

No wait sorry he’s still trapped in Mojoworld. no it’s still Luz who shows off a seasons worth of skill by easily dispatching the first few fears and saying to grom let’s finish it.. before grom puts a tentacle on her head. 

It’s to downlaod her fear.. which is Camillia. Granted we could all see it coming but still Luz obviously can’t fight her own mother or her own overwhelming guilt.. her mom did hurt her.. but she gets why and just loves her and wants her to be proud but dosen’t know what to do: tell her the trutha nd possibly loose a happy and fufilling life or wait until it all blows up. It’s a painful choice. So luz and king end up running. King runs first because he can’t handle it and Gus talks him back into the groove while Luz runs away because she can’t fight her own mom, understandable, and Gus encourages king to lead the crowd which he does. Amity and Eda follow Luz. 

So Luz is backed down, facing down a monster tha’ts going to go on to everyone else next if she fails... and Eda prepares to interfere.. but it’s AMITY who faces her fear and dives in. And we find out just what her fear was as grom turns into a humanoid shape and rips the letter in half.. it was a grom invitation. Though conviently the who it’s adressed to was ripped out. 

And yeah not going to save this one: It’s Luz. You know it I know it I didn’t even hide it in the intro. Even before the reveal in a bit it was obvious. But it also makes perfect sense. I’ve avoided talking about her character arc up to this point because I was waiting for now. Amity’s growth is the third major arc of the season behind Luz’s slow learning of magic and eventually induction into hexside and eda’s curse, which I lump in with Lilith chasing her since both were mildly entertwined and then entirely are once the reveal hits in the finale. When we meet her she’s an outright bully.. but we slowly see there’s more there. That she’s not really HAPPY or content, is contstantly under pressure by her family name, is outright bullied by her own siblings who don’t understand her. So Luz coming in, seemingly only being intrested in magic because i’ts neat.. understandably bothers her. She’s not a great person, bullying her old best friend because tha’ts what’s expected and being close with outright bullies because of that.. but it’s through Luz she starts to grow, realizing Luz is genuinely nice and genuinely sorry for any trouble she caused Amity, and evne then both cases were causaed by Amity’s own dickishness and outside forces, so it’s easy to see why she defrosts faster. Her siblings realize they’ve genuinely hurt her, and actually try to be good siblings from then on and help her, and slowly Amity learns to truth luz, trust in her, and accept her... and thus accept her feelings for her. There are gradual hints she’s growing attracted to her.. but her walls had to come down first, and it wouldn’t of worked from the outset. The show cleverly has the two build a genuine friendship, two opposities who work well together, so when feelings do happen it feels natural. It’s not “I’m in love with this person because I have to because you can’t be friends with someone your attracted to” bullshit or anything like that, cough star vs cough, it’s just well built catching feelings. I’ts how this kind of thing SHOULD go: niether went in intending for this to happen.. it’s just happening. 

And Amity’s reluctance is painfully understandable, as Luz is the ONLY friend and support she has. Sure she and willow are patching things up, but WIllow would understandably choose luz over her and she’s terrified of loosing the one good thing in her life. Of course Luz would either say yes, and probably will some day, or let her down gently, she’s nice.. but it’s also understandable to be afraid that someone won’t take the reveal well. I’ve been there trust me, it’s easier when you let it out even if you get rejected, but I get it being hard to let out because you don’t want to loose a friend. I did not, and niether would she, but I can see why she wouldn’t want ot take the plunge. At least not yet. We’ll see this summer hopefully. 

But we do get a shiptastic, gorgeously aniamted scene of the two dancing an fightin gin perfect synch, combinging luz’s new use of plant magic with amity’s mastery of abominations resulting in the two utterly decimating grom, likely in part because with two fast moving targets he can’t get a lock on and likely nees more fear and mass to attack multiple targets at once. Or just more tendrils. it’s a quick, beautful sequence that’s utterly glorious, being framed as romantic as any hetero scene of the type and rightfully so. A triumph and well deserving of this praise. 

Our heros have won, get crowns, and King gets praise. All is well.. except Luz drops the crown once she gets home because she feels like she failed and feels lost about her mom.. though at least king gets it “I’m king and queen, best of both things!”. You tell em sister. 

So we end with Luz genuinely responding to her mom, with some montage stuff as we see Gus and Willow poke a fear blob, willow fears bugs, understandable and Gus fears clowns... 

Also understandable. Though I didn’t put up a bug picture because

And Amity looks out folornly into the night. Camilla responds to Luz.. and mentions letters.. which while Luz brushes those off.. we see someone sent them. And by someone I probably mean king since we now know only eda and him had acess to the portal, and given he was actively encouraging her to lie.. yeah i’m supscious. But we’ll see next season. For now this episode is fan fucking tastic, showing off tons of character development, being representative and sweet as all hell.. and being really funny. Tons of great gags in this one including the turtle guy from an earlier episode being forced to be adisco ball.  This is easily the series best so far and if you haven’t checked it out, please do it’s fantastic as is this show. Check both out. Until the next rainbow i’ts been a pleasure. Tommorow more disney shenanigans this time with pete. And also more of this possibly we’ll see what I get done. 

Goodnight everybody!