#also there is one building not visible and it's because it's technically a mcdonald's.

[technofade]

mmmm warped wood good...

[ashes-in-a-jar]

Tma relisten Episodes 6-10

(Still really long)

Alot of really important details that are going to be very relevant later on. Very facinating how early on you find these out. Relistens are good.

Episode 6 squirm

It's a good thing tma doesn't do much of sexual encounters and their connection to entities. While I'm sure that's a thing that in any realistic universe would exist avoiding it was a good choice. This statement was *shudder*

Interesting that she had no visible mark on her. Also being repulsed by police stations because the sectioned officers could have helped.

Naked in the streets after lighting his apartment on fire. What an image.

So technically the worms were in the archives 3 times: when Jane made her first statement, when Timothy hodge made his and when Jane attacked. The worms are very familiar with the magnus institute.

"This story is concerning. Not because of Mr. Hodge’s experience, although I’m sure it was very upsetting." ace Jon talking very technical about "experiences"

" though obviously it’s a tragic loss of life, etcetera, etcetera." Jon being Jon.

Ecdc are aware of Jane and corruption typical attacks which is off the bat interesting world building.

He's skeptic here because of lack of evidence but does admit the existence of a threat in Jane Prentiss

Also! He knows of her from before probably when he was a researcher. This confused me on first listen because I was trying to remember if she was ever mentioned before this. But she wasn't.

Episode 7 the piper

Wilfred kind of sounds like martin in some way but maybe it's just me assigning poetry to anyone like him.

But he hated apathy which might be very Martin like

Gentle sadness and creeping fear from the music. For violence of war... Is that what it means to immortalize it?

It's really cool that the concept of music in this podcast is associated specifically with war and unwarranted violence. There's a very strong statement in there somewhere that needs to be explored.

God this statement was intense. Lying for such a long time in that trench surrounded by violent death. But what's most interesting is that this statement doesn't feel like a supernatural one and yet... The piper was with Wilfred throughout the various battles and bouts of violence until the moment it was officially over. But in a very subtle way.

The description of the piper is really intense with the 3 faces. I think I missed it the first time but hearing that representation of war and fear is something I'm going to look for in artistic depictions now.

Wait. Who is Joseph Rayner? I know of Maxwell but never heard of Joseph.a victim instead of Wilfred? Collaborator with the Slaughter? Hmmm

I wonder how Accidental it was that the statement from 1922 was filed in the 2000s. Maybe to show that the piper never really leaves and the war never really ends. Ever.

Episode 8 burned out

Wow Hilltop Road already! I forgot how many of the first episodes were so important to the plot later on.

"That side of the road backed onto South Park with fences marking the bottom of each garden." this is wrong btw. Hilltop Road in Oxford does not run along Sount Park but is perpendicular to it, meeting it in the corner with Divinity Road which meets with Morrell Avenue which is the road running along South Park. Just FYI because I had to look this up to get a good picture. But I guess Morrell doesn't sound as exciting as Hilltop (which isn't even at the top of the hill smh)

Ivo lensik describes Raymond fielding as white which makes me automatically think he is not. Just a thought that popped in my mind.

Huh. His family had a history of schizophrenia. And his dad was obsessed with fractals. Being followed by The spiral (all the bones are in his hands) was also part of this story really interesting.

Agnes had mousy brown hair and looked like Raymond! Not red hair ( at least at first) like I pictured. Also she was a hell of a creepy child...

So did he time travel? Seeing the moments of Raymond's end? Seems like time doesn't work right in that place anyway.

Web person being devout church goer is also an interesting touch

Father Edwin Burroughs! I forgot he was here too! The knock reminded me of Mr Spider *shiver*

The priest explaining that the church exorcized demons but what not decisive if ghosts exist was hilarious. Jon dismisses paranormal but asks Martin if he's a ghost is opposite of the church.

Hmmm the web pushing him to cut the tree to uncover box from antique table...

Apple full of spiders ugh. Maybe something web was trapped in there by Desolation and ivo managed free it as Agnes was dying.

"We cannot prove any connection, but Martin unearthed a report on an Agnes Montague, who was found dead in her Sheffield flat on the evening of November 23rd 2006, the same day Mr. Lensik claims to have uprooted the tree." wow that's an obscure thing to find well done Martin!

Jon still looks for credence for this story despite the schizophrenia that could leave him skeptical.

"while I trust Mr. Lensik’s testimony of his own experiences about as far as I can throw a bleeding tree," again Jon with his special brand of jokes.

Episode 9 a Father's love

The Montauk's story! I always thought their family had one of the most tragic ones. The hunt is a really cruel patron with its forced hunger and having other entities use them as tools.

Julia telling the truth of the story to the Magnus Institute instead of the police is also heartbreaking. How desperate and alone she must have felt drowned in that awful literally unbelievable story. The magnus institute feeds off of those people too.

So many of the hunt end up in police it's just... Such a strong statement against that establishment. What do we do to make that less of a horrible, unjust, all consuming system? That feeds on the hunger of some and the abject fear of others? And it doesn't have to be supernatural. It's interesting how season five, of all seasons, is the one that gave us that perspective. The non supernatural one on the subject while the world itself is so far away from the natural. God everything about this idea is so heavy and painful.

I kind of hate Julia's fate because of her background and how much alot of its beginning was out of her control. It's like Daisy. The hunt can never be forgiven no matter how compulsive it is.

The dark that took her mother turned her into part of it? Like the dark liquid?

A dark room to develop his photos of his victims huh? A play on words here.

Oooh they put a heartbeats in the soundscape really cool actually.

So Montauk killed other dark members that tried to leave? For the ritual? Like Julia's mother?

The hunt compelled him to keep the hearts as trophies? which is very self destructive of the hunt to do. Or is it part of the dark ritual with the sacrifices that the heart had to be kept?

I think Montauk was trying to slow down the ritual as revenge that night, rendering the sacrifices he helped create useless. Which is why pitch came after them that night and dissappeared once Montauk finished his ritual.

Sourcing the Serial killer enthusiast community. Love that the archives use whatever source of info they can access.

So Maxwell dissappeared in 1994 from public eye land yet the cult kept working towards a ritual. But now in secret? Their timeline always confused me.

Episode 10 vampire killer

I never noticed Trevor came right after Julia! Oooh this is so much connecting the dots so early on!

Vampires are so disturbing here makes you ever wonder how the hell media like twilight were ever created. But hehe the monster ****er community has always been a vibrant one. Not these vampires tho.

Trevor is so sassy I love his statements. Like Julia it really makes me sad how consumed he became at the end and how awful his death was. Once again the tragedy of the Hunt.

"I taught myself to read, I read as much on the subject as I could, and it isn’t covered often or clearly in those books I have found." can you imagine what kinds of books he might have found during the sexy vampire Era? This is a hilarious picture to paint.

So vampires feed off of blood and not fear which is an interesting creature to have in this kind of universe. Although hunters are also like that but there is still alot of fear and awareness involved with that while the vampires try to conceal themselves until the last moment.

There's alot of mosquito imagery in these vampires which is... Ugh

Also interesting how many time Trevor just uses the vampire's full name. Never shortened and never talked about in another title. Sylvia McDonald this Sylvia McDonald that. Also the other vampire. They always had a name that was psychicly imposed on the victims to be remembered fully. Very Stranger behavior.

Ahhhh the one vampire weakness... Drrrugs.

It's also very flammable which sets interesting precedence to setting unnatural things on fire to make them disappear.

Alard dupont comes in a later statement right? Yeah in 56

Martin was there when the statement was given which was 2010 and in 2016 he's 29 so he worked there for a while! At least since age 23 perhaps we'll find out even earlier. And he was still scared to be found under qualified after all this time! Oof...

I wonder how draining it is to give a statement that it kills someone who is sick.

The government is in on this! Looking for the teeth Trevor gave the institute... Somehow that strikes me as hilarious in the world building of this podcast. And it really leaves Jon no choice but to concede that there is something to the statement even if he refuses to use the term vampire like Trevor did so freely.

[kuramirocket]

The historic center of Puebla city, where I live, is a World Heritage site. Tphe nearby post office, like many buildings in the area, is beautifully decorated in the traditional tiles. But among theses buildings there is also a McDonald's, Dominos, Oxxo (a Coca Cola store), Subway, and Burger King, and there is a Pizza Hut, KFC; and Starbucks one block away.

Starbucks has 670 stores in Mexico, Subway has 900, and Walmart has 2,610—the largest number in any country after the US, and a figure that is likely to increase given their profits during the pandemic.

The impact of this change in urban landscape and consumption on Mexicans' identity, lifestyle, and culture, shouldn't be underestimated. More and more US transnationals have opened up in Mexico over the past few decades, taking advantage of unfair trade agreements, super-exploitative labor conditions, and cheap utilities. Local restaurants and traditional Mexican tianguis markets struggle to compete.

"There isn't any equality of conditions, so it isn't really a competition," says Iktiuh Arenas, an expert in urban planning and human rights, and a specialist with Mexico's Secretariat of Agrarian, Land, and Urban Development (SEDATU).

Arenas says shopping centers, department stores like Walmart, and transnational chain restaurants have advantages compared to local markets and craftspeople, because they have a big marketing budget. They encourage people to buy products that weren't produced locally, and they have the money to secure the best locations in squares and main streets.

Over the past few decades, he argues, "development" has been limited to building shopping centers and supporting chain stores, while green areas and museums have been deprioritized. "This policy of urban development is based on copying the US model," he says.

Walmart in Mexico (which operates as Wal-Mart de México y Centroamérica) is the biggest retailer in the country, and it includes other brands, like the smaller Bodega Aurrerra supermarkets, the wholesale Sam's Club, MaxiPali, and Superama. In 1994, it had just 25 stores in Mexico, but the NAFTA agreement (1994-2020) meant it could easily sell hundreds of products imported from the US, without paying customs taxes.

Since then, Walmarts have been built on forested areas, threatened buildings of artistic value, and been built on or near ancient ruins. There is a Walmart near the archaeological zone of Teotihuacán, and local resistance managed to prevent one being built in the Indigenous town of Cuetezalan.

Joining the Walmarts are hundreds of other companies, including Pepsico, Uber, 19,558 Oxxos, The Cheesecake Factory, Baskin Robbins, 718 Dominos, over 400 KFCs, Pizza Hut, Home Depot, Office Depot, Citigroup, JP Morgan Case, and thousands of factories, from Ford to General Electric.

With NAFTA's lifting of tariffs and trade barriers, these companies also benefit from some of the highest rates of exploitation in the world. While a Mexican worker in the US will earn US$1,870 per month on average, in Mexico the figure drops to US$291.

NAFTA also saw a mass displacement of rural workers in Mexico, and Arenas says public policy has abandoned rural areas in favor of cities. He argues that "classism and racism towards rural workers" has also been a factor.

I also talked to Isis Samaniego, a poet and traditional market worker, and an expert in native Mexican fruits and vegetables. "Department stores, shopping centers, and fast food joints from the US displaced local businesses here, like the tlapalerias [Mexican stores selling paint and hardware goods]," they say, arguing that those shops sold products that lasted, whereas the new shops sell cheaper, but lower quality goods.

As more and more farmers moved to the cities, they became the new cheap labor. Bertha Meléndez is a lifelong activist and well known musician. She sings in 10 Indigenous languages and researches and compiles Indigenous songs, while collaborating with community radios. She says the new arrivals to the cities were then sold the idea of junk food as a way to feel modern.

"It wasn't just a change of diet, but a change of lifestyle, as people left communities where there were strong connections between neighbors and a slower approach, and came to the cities where they were then so exploited that they didn't have time to prepare their own food," she says.

As she talks, we eat tortilla soup. "This is a Mexican dish," she says. "It takes time to prepare."

"People are abandoning the street markets and going to supermarkets because of the status … When a family goes to McDonald's, its because they want to look like they are upper class. People think the food is better there, but it has a lot of chemicals in it, it can be very addictive and bad for your health," comments Samaniego.

Many Mexicans feel the need to put on appearances. That involves pretending their living conditions are better than the poverty they face, as well as imitating US or European ways, and buying products or brands from there. For hundreds of years, colonization and imperialism have taught people that their culture and way of life were inferior.

Prior to the Spanish invasion, and well after it as well, people ate food according to the seasons, Arenas notes. "But now, Walmart sells products all year round, and so it breaks with the old way of doing things," he says.

He explains that producers compete for the privilege of Walmart shelf space, and consumers buy things they don't need as part of aspiring to be something better. "It strengthens those issues of classism and loss of identity," he says.

Before the Spanish invasion, people gathered in main squares and central areas and laid down woven petate mats, then arranged their products on them. They either exchanged goods, or sold them for cacao or for tools made of copper. These tianguis markets were a key part of people's culture and way of life, and they continue to exist in some form today in towns like Cuetzalan, Tianguistengo, Otumba, Tenejapa, Chilapa, Zacualpan, and more.

"In Walmart you exchange money with someone, but you don't exchange knowledge, you don't have a conversation," says Samaniego. But in the modern and traditional tianguis, you can talk to the farmers directly, or to the artists who made the handicrafts, they argue.

That's why Meléndez sees companies like Walmart and McDonald's as displacing communities, as well as their food and lifestyle.

"We are the children of corn. Since ancestral times, we have depended on corn," she says. She describes a relationship with the land and environment that is a key part of people's identities.

"Indigenous culture is alive, but it isn't as visible," she says. Some of the languages she sings in, such as Nahuatl and Mixteco, are widely spoken. But others are almost extinct, spoken by a few hundred people. Colonization, then US economic and cultural imperialism have seen people rejecting their indigenous roots, and "instead they imitate US culture. Being indigenous is stigmatized," she says.

That's why Meléndez sees her songs and Indigenous and Mexican art as being vital for people's sense of identity, and their visibility. There are 12 million professional folk craftspeople in Mexico. But they have been one of the sectors most negatively impacted by the pandemic. They often live in regions without Internet or phone signals, and frequently don't have the technical literacy to promote their products online—instead relying on interactions in the street and squares. During last year's lock downs, many artists were completely cut off from their income.

Stores like Walmart, on the other hand, have adapted to selling online. Walmart's profits in Mexico had increased to 162 billion pesos in 2020, from 148 billion in 2019.

"Mexico is dominated by the US … culturally, economically, and they even choose our presidents so that they can keep sending their companies here and enjoying cheap labor … and with that comes a policy of making people reject their culture, and that means rejecting themselves," Meléndez says.

Foreign corporations have a lot of freedom in Mexico, and they are backed by trade agreements like NAFTA and USMCA that were created within very unequal power dynamics. One activist, Gustavo Esteva during the 2002 protests against plans for a McDonald's in the main square of Oaxaca put it succinctly, "This is nothing less than a cultural conquest."

[thegempage]

this is a rant about my experience in fast food, and it’s okay to rb (tbh, i’d appreciate if you at least read this and maybe did rb, bcus i know i’m not the first to talk about this kind of experience but i just wanted to add my fuel to that fire) but it’s kind of long and i mention a few uncomfortable things so i figured i’d readmore it

people will say “oh it’s just flipping burgers, it’s not hard or dangerous! why do you need [however much money]?” but everyone i worked with at mcdonalds -- and i worked front staff, not kitchen -- got burnt at least once, usually more; i got burnt several times, including a burn that left a scar (we dreaded orders of fries with no salt bcus we’d have to pour them directly from the basket that was just submerged in oil to cook them into the container); cuts weren’t uncommon either, even if it wasn’t entirely clear where they were coming from; you’re exposed to chemicals that were technically regulated just doing the dishes but also nobody was really paying attention and once i had a coworker specifically stop me from sticking my hands in the bin to do dishes bcus there was no real way to mark that the cleaner in it was extra strong

i was threatened by a man several times my age for dropping a $10 bill (who asked me to come outside and help find it, in the dark, presumably alone, even as i told him i wasn’t allowed to leave the building, which is both true and was a desperate attempt to stay safe) and most of us had even worse and not uncommonly sexual comments or threats -- still keeping in mind that i worked up front, these were most commonly teenagers being threatened and “flirted” with by men two, three, four times their age -- i had managers who were spit at, i had managers who had breakdowns while still on shift, i had coworkers who broke down on the clock, i was forced to work with menstrual cramps so bad i was about to cry (as were some of my other coworkers. and no, there were no painkillers on hand, you just hoped another employee had some) and migraines bcus even if i asked to go home early there was absolutely no guartunee i’d get it, the timing of our breaks -- we couldn’t pick our own breaks, we were all dependant on the managers and the customer flow -- fanned the flames of my eating disorder and left me with no internal rhythm regarding food, i had one manager who was barely 18 and whose parents stopped offering him food at home so he ate so much mcdonalds that he got sick, visibly, terrifyingly sick

i literally cannot enjoy ice cream machine memes at a genuine level because of how many times people yelled at me, swore at me, tried to fight me over the stupid fucking machines even tho we have no control over when they break down or if the ice cream in them is unservable

hell, i was harassed by a coworker for over two months, a coworker who harassed everyone from other staff who worked the front to managers and nobody did anything, no matter how much i asked him to stop, asked the managers to make him stop, dealt with him trying to turn other coworkers against me, tried to ignore him, whatever, bcus they all “thought he was funny” until a much older coworker reported him for me (this being one more in a line of reports) and then they finally went “oh hey so about that”

edit: i reread this and just wanted to say, re: my fries-with-no-salt comment: i absolutely understand the need for no salt on your fries if you’re on a low-sodium diet for one reason or another, i’m not angry about that, it’s just one of the more common “fast food hacks” that float around the internet, so people would ask for their fries that way and then ask for salt packets bcus they heard that’ll get them fresh. which it does! but you can also just. ask for them fresh and even with light or extra salt. and if they’re not then you can just. send them back. people send back food all the time. if you’re in a rush get a credit for next time and you lessen the chances of random teens getting hot oil all over their hands

[douchebagbrainwaves]

IN THE CAR WORLD, THERE ARE ALL THOSE PEOPLE

We've taken a nice, durable medium for finished ideas, but their production. Look at this, for example, were almost as corrupt in the first year of a startup as it grows larger? What they go by is the number of good books. Reddit. But hunter gatherers didn't treat land, for example; they're already pariahs. It implies there's no punishment if you fail. We plan to mine the web for these implicit tags, and use them together with the reputation hierarchy they embody to enhance web searches. The reason I describe this as a new idea and ask him to invest in come to him through referrals.1 It's that adults take responsibility for your life.

Even when you're actively working on a program, it's more efficient to work in the other direction.2 One of the things that will surprise you if you build something popular is that you shouldn't relax just because you have no visible competitors yet. If you're a good hacker in your mid twenties, you can compete with specialization by working on larger vertical slices, you can watch them learn by doing. Making a living is only a proxy after all, and you're not doing it individually, but along with a small group. I'm not saying you shouldn't hang out with your friends—that several problems we take for granted are in fact not insoluble after all. 0 meaning the web as a platform didn't live much past the first conference, someone must have decided they'd better take a stab at explaining what that 2. If they'd waited to release everything at once, they wouldn't have discovered this problem till it was more a flaw their eminence had allowed them to sink into. If you can't tell. And so, apparently, do society wives; in some parts of Manhattan, life for women sounds like a continuation of high school, I let myself believe that my job was to be the default plan in big companies is that they don't realize how incompetent they are.3

This is another one I've been repeating that since 1993, and I think the problem here is that teenagers are always on duty as conformists. And that's why smart people's lives are worst between, say, physical appearance, charisma, or athletic ability. It's no defense to say that the situation degenerates into a popularity contest. Ditto for hacking. They are to the print media.4 I don't think many people like the slow pace of big companies, the patent pledge does fix may be more serious than the problem of patent trolls. Instead you should draw a few quick lines in roughly the right place, and then returned two months later and not one thing had changed.5

Sometimes they even agree with one another, but are so caught up in their squabble they don't realize how incompetent they are. If you're writing for other people to use.6 It has a long way to run. By feature I mean one unit of hacking—one pristine old car the richer. This is where it's helpful to have working democracies and multiple sovereign countries.7 But surely a necessary, if not sufficient, condition was that people who made fortunes be able to get a big chunk of code available then was Unix, but even this was not open source. You're done at 3 o'clock, and you decide to draw each brick individually. No wonder you become cynical. If there were two features we could add to our software, both equally valuable in proportion to their difficulty, we'd always take the harder choice. It's pierced in a few long sessions than many short ones.

But it's very useful to be able to say what the most important reason to release early, though, are busy. You can take out the whole point if you need to go running. More often it was just an arbitrary series of hoops to jump through, words without content designed mainly for testability.8 If I have to do something people want, we are nowhere near as smart. Nearly all makers have day jobs early in their careers. Most people like to be alone, so when kids opt out of the system, just as I once felt bad that I didn't hold my pencil the way they taught me to in college.9 Flying a glider is a good offense. We were a bit like an adult would be if he were thrust back into middle school. So if a piece of code is being hacked by three or four people see that, whereas tens of thousands see business as it's practiced by Boeing or Philip Morris. There will of course come a point where you shake hands and the deal's done. The Dish. They would have both carrot and stick to motivate them.

So get to work. I bet that particular firm will end up being like a common-room.10 You're trying to solve problems that users care about. Whereas if you solve a technical problem that a lot of people seem to consider the ability to draw as some kind of dreamer who sketched artists' conceptions of rocket ships on the side, I'm not proposing this as a danger is that series A investors are increasingly at odds with the startups they supposedly serve, and that this must have in turn been expanded by the editors into throngs of geeks. When you tread water, you lift yourself up by pushing water down. They want to be popular. In principle you could make any mark in any medium; in practice the medium steers you. I've been visiting them for years and I still occasionally get lost. You're short of money, and that he did all the actual design of the Apple I and Apple II in his apartment or his cube at HP.

The way I worked, it seemed to mean keeping your mouth shut. McDonald's franchise, that could then be reproduced at will all over the face of the earth. Ditto for hacking. A great deal has been written about the causes of the Industrial Revolution? Why? You can start to treat parts as black boxes once you feel confident you've fully explored them.11 The 2005 Web 2.

Notes

A related problem that they were more at the time it still seems to them.

But friends should be easy to get the answer, 5050.

I'm also an investor I saw this I used to be the dual meaning of distribution. We consciously optimize for this essay, Richard and David Whitehouse, Mohammed, Charlemagne and the first time as an asset class. They influence one another directly through the buzz that surrounds wisdom in ancient philosophy may be the dual meaning of life.

If you're building something for free.

94. Which is not as a collection itself. Stone, op. Philosophy is like starting out in the angel is being able to distinguish 1956 from 1957 Studebakers.

In desperation people reach for the explanation of a safe environment, but they're not ready to invest at any valuation the founders enough autonomy that they got started as a predictor of success. In 1998 a lot of investors started offering investment automatically to every startup we funded, summer 2010. Is this unfair?

Founders also worry that taking an angel investment from a few months by buying their startups.

The Nineteenth-Century History of English. Math is the number of discrepancies currently blamed on various forbidden isms. On the other. The reason Y Combinator is a qualitative difference in investors' attitudes.

But when you lose that protection, e. It seemed better to read an original book, bearing in mind that it's hard to say that the valuation should be the model for Internet clients too. By Paleolithic standards, technology evolved at a time machine. The founders who take big acquisition offers most successful investment, Uber, from which they don't want to sell your company right now.

As far as I know, Lisp code.

So it is to do, so had a big company, meaning a high school.

[criminalnourished]

Midnight Shenanigans

~ A Shayne Topp Imagine/Fluff ~

A/N: Look, I don’t write, I was going to make a short parody, but it kept getting longer and longer and I actually kinda liked how it turned out, so I thought I’d share it. It’s super long, so if you get through it, I applaud you!

Warnings: Fluff. Like, a lot of it. (also, alcohol? like, having a drink)

Words: way too many, I like my epithets.

Enjoy!

Winter Games.

The event of the season.

And it was going to be extra special this year. Why? Because you get to go!

As one of the newly established head writers and producer, you would be reffing this year’s Games, along with Sunny, Joe and Matt and you were hardly able to contain your excitement.

The venue was the same as the previous years’ one – Big Bear.

The evening before, you were starting the slow process of packing when it hit you.

You were a part of the Smosh family and have even been in the background of a few videos, though you were more of a ‘behind the scenes’ kind of person, so this was going to be a big step.  This would’ve been your first on-screen appearance that included talking. Oh geez. Your stomach churned. Oh holy geez. Mostly unscripted. Unscripted. I literally work with scripts, how in God’s name am I going to pull this off?, you thought to yourself.

Thankfully, you were taken out of your trance with a noise. That familiar iPhone ringtone we all know and never change. Standing up, crossing a mountain of bags, you reached for your phone and looked at the caller ID. Shayne. You smiled briefly before picking up. That guy always knew how to make you smile.

‘Hello?’ you said, going back to the suitcase. However, being the clumsy potato that you were, you caught your leg on a plastic bag, managing to lose your balance and fall directly on your bum, with a noisy *thud*.  A loud laugh escaped the phone.

‘I get that it’s part of your “brand” to just barely be capable of walking, but please try not to die, we prefer our writers alive’ Shayne joked.

‘Ha-ha’ you said sarcastically, picking yourself up from the floor. ‘Thanks, I appreciate it. Now that you’ve told me, I am sure to stop tripping and falling over’ you joked back.

‘Perfect! Don’t say that I never did anything for you!’

‘I shall remember this piece of advice till the day I die, which will inevitably be by slipping on a banana peel or tripping over my own two feet while carrying coffee.’ He laughed.

You started organizing your clothes into neat piles on your bed.

‘And your tombstone will say “Here lies our beloved (Y/N), who forgot to follow the Great Shayne’s advice.”’ You giggled, folding a shirt into your suitcase.

‘So anyways, what are you up to?’ he asked.

‘I just started packing’ you replied.

‘Oooh, right on time! It’s only…’ he stopped, presumably looking for the exact time. ’11:43pm!’

‘Hey, I only need about an hour, I have plenty of time. Have you already packed?’

‘Yup! All done, ready to go!’

You scoffed. ‘You must’ve forgotten something.’

‘I pretty sure I haven’t. Triple-checked.’

Another scoff from you.

‘And hey, if you “only need an hour”’ he mocked, ‘that’s great, you have enough time to get food with me!’

‘Oh, Shayne, it’s almost midnight, I don’t know, and-‘ you trailed off.

‘And?’

‘And… I don’t know, we need to be up in 5 to 6 hours?’

‘That’s a terrible excuse. You’re living on your own, you make your own rules and then break them, because rules are meant to be broken, dammit!’ he said, overly enthusiastic.

You kept folding clothes into your suitcase, silently. You wanted to go, really, it seemed so fun and like the epitome of ‘living’, from what you’ve seen in those typical young adult movies. Fun, you thought, not a good enough argument. All of a sudden, your stomach grumbled. Now that’s a good argument.

‘And also, I’m kinda maybe possibly in front of your building…’ Shayne added.

You dropped the dress you were neatly trying to fold.

‘You’re what?’

‘An evolved monkey’, he said, a hint of pride in his voice.

‘No, gah! Why are you-? How did you-?’ You tried to formulate a question but failed miserably. ‘Wait, let me buzz you in.’

‘No, no, I’ve got a better idea – you come with me. I’m already here and you already said that an hour is plenty of time for packing. Plus, I can help you with that later. So…. whaddaya say?’

You approached the window looking towards the building entrance, in disbelief, but sure enough, there he was, one hand in his pocket, pacing.

‘Alright’, you sighed, ‘give me three minutes to get down there.’

‘If you don’t make it, food’s on you. And your time… starts… now! Three minutes, go!’

You threw on the first shirt you saw – a baggy gray tee with the NASA logo on it, which was way too big, pairing it with boyfriend jeans.

Forty-five seconds to go.

You grabbed your little leather backpack, along with your phone, keys and wallet, stuffing them inside violently.

Twenty-seven seconds left.

You slammed the door, locking it quickly and sprinted down the stairs, skipping over multiple steps and almost dying thrice.

As you opened the big entrance gate to the building, you heard a beep. Shayne’s phone went off, signaling your three minutes had been over.

When you looked ahead, Shayne was peering back, a Cheshire cat-sized smile was plastered across his face.

‘No!’ you yelled, while bending over, resting your hands on your knees, trying to catch a breath. ‘Nonononono, I made it, I- I… I got out of the building!’

‘Nope! Doesn’t count! Looks like I’ll be enjoying some… whatever our food of choice turns out to be.’ Shayne said smugly, putting his hands behind his head.

When you finally got your air back, you stepped towards him, holding your side. You were really out of shape.

‘But I did it, the deal was to get down here in 3 minutes!’

You approached him, slouching. He threw an arm around you, as a way of greeting you and, well, because you looked like you were barely standing. This will have proven true merely moments later, when you shifted all of your weight off of your feet, forehead pressed against his clavicle.

‘Ah, yes, but you did not stop the alarm! That’s the unspoken rule of race-bets, always stop the clock!’ he said in a matter-of-fact tone, while patting the back of your head.

‘Fiiiine’, you let out a slow sigh, still in the same place. Maybe you were exhausted after a long day at work, maybe this three-minute workout from hell got to you or maybe this scenario felt pleasant, but you didn’t move. And neither did he. You just stood there, for a good while, taking it all in. You didn’t remember how long, but at some point he stopped patting your head and just rested his chin on the top, his arms around you. It was… nice. Man, male colognes are the best, you thought to yourself.

However, this suddenly made you feel extremely aware of the close proximity in which you were, making your cheeks a few dozen shades more red. You shifted a bit and Shayne, understanding the signal, let you go, scratching his head. You couldn’t help but think you’d seen a bit of red tint in his cheeks, only for a mere second, however, as it faded away quite quickly.

‘Um… so, since midnight snackage’s on you, it’s only fair that you get to pick the place.’

‘Hmmm… the closest ‘eat-now-regret-later’ place is McDonald’s. Does that work?’

‘Ughhh, fine’, he fake-complained, ‘No, yeah, sure! That’s a few streets down, though, might be a bit of a walk’ said Shayne.

‘Or we could take my car?’

‘Nooo, come on, look at this weather’ he said whinny, pointed to the sky. It was rather beautiful. The sky was completely clear, there were a few stars visible. The air was way too warm, considering it was technically winter, a light breeze was blowing. ‘It’d be a shame if we didn’t take advantage of this, doncha think? And if you get tired… I don’t know, I’ll just carry you or something, we’ll figure it out!’

‘Why don’t we go to the drive-through, get our food, drive up to the hills and eat there?  We can go for a walk and have a vehicle at our disposal, if we happen to need it! Boom, compromise!’

‘Deal!’ said Shayne, giggling slightly. You stepped towards your Mini Cooper.

‘I mean, hey, I know you’re in shape, but I feel like I could collapse any moment now’ you informed him. He chuckled, already seated in the passenger seat, seat belt on.

‘Ho, boy! Food – here we come!’

About 7 minutes later, you entered a McDonald’s drive-through, ordered way too much food, and soon enough, you were on your way for the hills.

‘Yo, drive-throughs’, said Shayne, with a mouthful of fries, ‘might be the best thing we ever came up with. No human interaction, you don’t even need to leave your car!’

‘Definitely. I’d say it’s up there with fire and the computer’ you replied.

You talked the whole ride, finding yourselves in sporadic fits of laughter. After 10ish minutes of traffic-free driving, you were there. Shayne insisted he should carry all the food, you knew that any attempt at arguing would be in vain. A short walk later, a small bench graced you with its presence and you decided to occupy it, the food bags taking most of the space.

‘Woah’, you exclaimed, trying to squeeze the BigMac™ into your mouth, ‘in the two years that I’ve lived in LA, I’ve never been here at night. It’s so peaceful and beautiful.’

‘Right? And the best part?’ he said inquisitively, looking at you, ‘The view!’ He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, with a rather constipated facial expression, barely holding in the giggles. You laughed and shook your head.

You sat there for moments? Minutes? Hours? Who knows how long, talking about… nothing yet everything, really, while eating you food as slowly as possible, and almost choking a couple of times due to excessive laughter. When you finished your meal, you felt 500lbs heavier and completely incapable of moving. Shayne removed the scrunched up wrappers and scooted a bit closer. You held your stomach and let out a long grunt, reminiscent of vocal fry.

‘I think… I think I’m just gonna stay here… live my life on this bench, y’know, become an urban myth’ you said, curling up into fetal position.

‘”The girl on bench” ’ he said, in an overly dramatic tone, patting your back, ‘some say you can still hear a faint rumble of her stomach trying to digest the ton of food she consumed on that faithful night.’ You giggled.

‘Why, oh why, cruel world must it taste so good but hurt so badly?!’ he yelled to the sky, his voice shaky.

‘Shayne! It’s midnight, keep it down’ you tried to stop laughing and act serious, but failed.

‘Whyyyy?!’ he cried, falling onto his knees in front of the bench. Your stomach started aching, this time from laughter. You stood up and approached him, with the intention of helping him get up, extending your arm, however, when he grabbed it, you wobbled in the air and ended up landing on top of him.

Good job, wow, you’ve really outdone yourself this time! you thought, while hoping for the ground to swallow you.

‘Oh my gosh’, you said, completely flustered, not looking at him. You turned your head to glance at him, noticing that his face was way closer than you initially calculated. ‘I- I- I am so sorry, that was so… Oh gosh, I’m sorry, are you okay?’ you rushed to get up. Shayne just looked at you, laughing, with an amused look on his face. He was going to make a joke, but upon seeing how utterly distressed you looked, he decided against it.

‘Of course I am, I’m great, couldn’t be better’ he stood up, holding his side, ‘minus the fractured rib you might’ve caused me, but hey, I’ll live!’

‘Hey, no, don’t’ worry, really, it’s all good!’ said Shayne, putting a hand on your scapula. A short period of silence followed. ‘Hey, wanna go pack?’

‘Oh, sure, but I can do it, really, I’d hate to keep you up, but thanks for-‘

‘Nooo, you’re not keeping me up’ he exclaimed, ‘I dragged you out, so I need to redeem myself!’

You sighed.

‘Okay, fine. But my apartment ‘s a mess, don’t say I didn’t warn you!’

Your face was still a bright shade of red, the embarrassment unbearable. You hugged yourself, as if you were cold, and kept murmuring many I’m sorry-s along the way to the car.

During the ride, the constantly opened window helped you calm down and your skin tone to go back to normal.

Much to your surprise, the mess you had left at your place before was still there. :(

‘Woah, was there a nuclear explosion here?’ Shayne asked, evidently trying to push your buttons.

‘Actually, yes, that’s very insensitive of you. How dare you bring that up?’ you played along, while taking two clean glasses from the cupboard. ‘Want some gin?’

‘Woah, hey, heyhey, I don’t know if… I..’ Shayne stuttered, evidently taken aback by this suggestion. ‘I had no idea you drank.’

‘Well… I’m full of surprises’ you said, with an over exaggerated wink. The corner of Shayne’s mouth twitched. ‘And besides, I just do it occasionally.’ He nodded. ‘So, do you want some?’

‘I… uh… sure!’ he replied, still a bit confounded.

You poured the liquid into the glasses and added two ice cubes. Taking both glasses, you approached Shayne, who was looking at the clothes you already packed and handed him the glass.

‘Y’know, I’m pretty sure you don’t really need a cocktail dress… and I’d say that’s more than enough T-Shirts for a week and a half’ he stated, taking the glass from your hand.

‘Yes I do! T-Shirts are comfortable and great for layering and that’s how you combat the cold, you layer and-‘

‘But you don’t layer T-Shirts on top of T-Shits!’

‘But- yeah, you’re right, I mostly sleep in T-Shirts’, Shayne turned his head towards you, ‘What? They’re comfy so I bring extra, in case some get dirty or sweaty, y’know.’ You took a swig of your drink, almost downing it all at once, stumbling a bit.

‘Woah, easy there, you don’t want to be hung-over for the trip’, said Shayne, steadying you.

‘Nah, don’t worry about it, it’s just gin…’

‘Okay, well, you need to pack!’

‘You said you’d help!’

‘I will! You need a supervisor, to maximize efficiency.’

‘So you’ll just sit and tell me what to do?’

‘No, don’t be silly… I might stand up eventually’, replied Shayne, evidently proud of his comeback, which earned him a disapproving headshake.

‘Oh really?’ you said, grabbing your bras and underwear from a drawer.

It was Shayne’s turn to change into a tomato, clearing his throat, trying to look anywhere else, scratching the back of his neck and basically doing every other tick in the book signaling he was uncomfortable.

You grinned mischievously, realizing what you’d done and quickly put it all away into the suitcase.

‘You can look now’, you said.

‘Oh, hah, psh, no, I- I wasn’t, I-‘ he tried to come across as calm, cool and collected, but ended up looking even more awkward. You awed and kept packing, moving on to sweaters.

You kept packing and at some point, the gin started kicking in, making you extremely sleepy. Surely enough, the process took more than an hour, even with Shayne’s eventual help. You collapsed onto your bed, headfirst, and he lied next to you, on his back.

‘This was exhausting’, you exclaimed.

‘Nah, I’d say it was fun!’ he replied. You rolled over so that you were also lying on your back.

‘Thanks for helping, I would’ve probably fallen asleep had you not been here’, you said, turning your head to look at him.

‘See?’ he beamed, ‘I told you!’ he chuckled.

This was the first time you got to look at him so closely – the laugh lines and those baby blues, the slight beard he was trying to cultivate, his radiant smile… You caught yourself staring and only then did you realize how close you actually were, which in turn made you blush profusely. He kept smiling, but his gaze trailed down your face and focusing on your lips, for a split second only. You batted your eyelashes, not knowing what to do. Sh-Should I do anything? you thought. This will just make things awkward, probably. Oh goodness I messed up again, what am I supposed to do, I-

At this point you could feel his breath on your nose. He moved his hand to brush off some of your hair. The tension was so thick, you could cut it with a knife, which made you panic even more. I gotta move, you thought, this will be way too weird in the long run, I should probably just cough or something or-

And then it happened. He moved just slightly towards you, closing the tiny gap that remained between the two of you. Your mind, while racing up until that point, was completely blank – no worry, no panic, just bliss. The kiss was shorter than you would’ve hoped for, yet still sweet, making you smile like a mad man, which in turn made his lips curve into a grin, as well.

Shayne was gently caressing your cheek. He opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by you initiating another kiss, this one deeper and more passionate than expected. He put one hand on the back of your neck and wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer, while you held onto his shirt and neck. A few minutes later, you broke apart, neither of you able to stop smiling. You laid there for a few minutes, intertwined, without saying a word.

After some time, you tried to move, but Shayne’s embrace wouldn’t let you.

‘Shayne’, you called out. No response.

You looked up and saw him pretending to be asleep.

‘Shayne’, you repeated. No response. You tried wiggling out of his grip, but couldn’t. He started laughing, eyes still firmly shut.

You placed a kiss on his clavicle, which instantly made him open his eyes and look at you.

‘Wanna watch a movie?’ you asked.

‘Depends on what you got’, Shayne said, seemingly loosening his grip.

‘I’ve got whatever you want’, you beamed. ‘Well, I don’t, but the torrents do!’

‘”Space Jam” it is, woo!’ he exclaimed, throwing his arm in the air. You laughed and mimicked his ‘woo’.

‘Okay, I’ll go set it up, you refill our glasses and get the popcorn ready, there’s some in the cabinet.’

A few minutes later, everything was in order and you were huddled up on the sofa. The movie started playing and you immediately started commentating out loud, laughing. Neither of you said anything about what had happened, which was bound to backfire, but at the moment it seemed fine.

The file you had illegally downloaded was buffering quite a bit and you were really tired… I’ll close my eyes just for a few seconds, you thought.

And lo and behold, you fell asleep. As soon as he noticed, Shayne spent a few moments looking at you, wondering whether he should carry you to your bed or leave you be. He ended up choosing the latter, as your bed still contained the residue of a nuclear explosion that took place earlier. He tried to move, in search of a blanket, however, you fell asleep on him and he just didn’t have the heat to move you. Instead, he threw an arm around you and you got even comfier. Shayne lost track of time – for a certain period, he was just observing your serene expression, but he ended up falling asleep next to you.

Feedback is highly appreciated, hit up my inbox or leave a comment or sth, thanks. :3

[the-brodiac]

The Red-Eyed Lied (SagAqua Human!AU) ch. 5

Warnings: ESL grammar, food, alcohol, smoking, NSFW jokes, I live in a small town with no library

Word count: 2371

<< Previous chapter || First chapter || All chapters

+++

Chapter 5: Immersion

   “The original plan was”, Veto spoke up as we head to the twins’ room that afternoon. “When Caleb’s roommate calls for his usual alcohol errand boy, we connect him to Dragon instead. He’s the principal… Oh no, don’t worry, he’s chill. It won’t get him kicked out if he’s smart but it’ll still be hilariously awkward.”

    “Wow”, I replied, not sure what to say. “You guys know how to do that?”

    “We have our ways”, Quinn told me, quickening his pace.

    “And how do you guys get all the information to this?”

    “Well, I’m an errand boy in this school as well, so I know ‘im”, Sag said with a smile. “People pay me to sneak out and buy ‘em stuff from shops around here, except I don’t buy alcohol like Caleb’s does. Everything else is from our ‘dataminer’, Oliver. He’s one of the guys in charge of the lakehouse trade and has lots of connection.”

    “The only thing stopping you from buying alcohol is your wrong fake ID and your baby face”, Quinn chimed in, snickering.

    Sag rolled his eyes. I stifled a laugh.

    We finally reached their dorm room, situated in the second floor of a different building from mine and Sag’s. I didn’t know what I was expecting. Theirs was a bit larger than any room here I’ve visit, with painted walls that actually isn’t peeling off and furnitures that looks like they didn’t come from an abandoned backyard. No offense, Sag, I love you and I love your couch.

    “You’ve even got a balcony!” I exclaimed, running towards it to check out the view. “And close route to the bathroom! And an actual working fan! Fuck you!”

    They both laughed, plopping down to the (nicer) bottom bunk bed. Sag walked over to me and looked out of the balcony as well. You can barely see the lake from here, but the main school building and one of the neighbouring girls’ dorm are visible.

    “Nice place, huh?” Sag said, as if he owns the place.

    “I’m still wondering what kind of privilege these guys have to end up here”, I retorted.

    “This room is originally for exchange students, but we never even have one, so we claimed it. Oh, and the furnitures are ours”, Quinn explained, stretching and laying down. “Aaand our parents are members of the board. Aaaaand we’re rich.”

    “Wow. My parents won’t even get me McDonalds when they’re out”, I said.

    “Anyways”, Veto got up, pulling out a wheeled whiteboard from behind their closet. “About the plans… We need to brainstorm a prank that can compare to what he did to Aquarius. Quinn?”

   Quinn didn’t move from his position. “Yeah, that. Hmm. Well, the best way to find a personalized prank is look for inspirations from the target’s routine, since it’s meant to be surprising. Is he doing anything special soon?”

   “Y’know Michelle from History class?” Sag went to the nearby couch and sat down. I joined him. “Samesh said he was invited to a Richard party hosted by her this Friday… or Saturday? Well, guess who’s gonna DJ? Caleb.”

    “Oh yeah, we knew about that.”

    “Wanna call the police on them or some shit?”

    “That’s gonna involve innocent people… Even if they’re Richards. And it’s too simple.”

    “Also it kinda broke the first Millennium rule.”

    “Doesn’t pranking in general broke the first Millennium rule?”

    All three of them turn their heads towards me. I looked around awkwardly.

    “I mean”, I began. “You’re basically interfering with someone’s daily lives. Not that I don’t like pranking and appreciate you guys doing this to avenge me or anything.”

    “The rule’s unofficial, it… doesn’t have to be black and white, and… Uh, nevermind, I have no defense”, Veto muttered, writing some points about the Richard party on the whiteboard. “It’s just fun to do.”

    Quinn yawned loudly. “Maybe the biggest prank of all is that we come to the party and have fun with the Richards. He would never expect that. We’d blow all his expectations and he’d be so embarrassed he’s wrong. I’m a fucking genius. Veto, write that down.”

    “Quinn…”

    “I’m joking”, the blue-eyed twin quickly said when he caught Sag glaring at him.

    “I’ll put that as Plan E, just because”, Veto retorted.

    “Seriously?!”

    “God, then help come up with something, Kieron!”

    Sag bit on his nails. “…We can switch out his songs to somethin’ completely different?”

    “Predictable, hard to manage in a few days, but classic and appreciated. Thanks Sagittarius”, Veto wrote it on the board as Plan D. Sag visibly rolled his eyes. I gave him a pat.

    “Do you have anything, smartypants?” Veto questioned, turning to me.

    “Yeah, can you hack stuff?” Quinn added.

    “A bit, but nothing really useful”, I replied. Besides, I do robotics all day, not practicing my hacking skills. “I tried to think of something outside the box, but it’s going to sound really… dumb.”

    “Oh, dumb ideas are good”, Sag said. “Make it so dumb he’ll never see it comin’.”

+++

    “It takes ‘bout a day for Oliver to datamine what we’ll need, so in the meantime we’re just gonna go shopping for our materials”, Sag told me after we returned to our own dorm later on that day without the twins. “C’mon, we’ll pay the lakehouse a visit.”

    The twins wanted me to have “experience”, so they keep telling me to tag along Sag. But we haven’t even been back for 5 minutes, yet he’s already pulling me out of the room again, and out of the building. We made our way towards the woods across from the lake I’ve been curious about. It was a bit of a walk, having to go around the lake, and the woods are even worse, as the ground is anything but flat and there’s always some tree root sticking out to trip anyone who pass. I’d probably get lost pretty quickly without Sag.

    “So, no teacher ever caught you guys in here?” I broke the silence.

    “Well, the lake and everything else beyond that is actually not the school’s properties, so they’re technically not responsible for whatever we do ‘ere after school hours end.”

    “What a school.”

    “Yeah, but some of the more caring guys like Tiger checks around the lake every now and then. He’s never gone deep into the woods though. Afraid to get lost, probably.”

    Sag, who noticed me struggling with keeping up, stopped and offered his hand with a smile. I smiled back and took it.

    Finally, we reached the old abandoned farmhouse they keep referring to as the lakehouse. I don’t even see a lake. Maybe it’s deeper in the woods. There were some other people there, but Sag didn’t let go of my hand. I don’t mind. This feels pretty nice. A few people were chatting close by, group of people smoking were sitting at the porch, and there’s a guy asleep on a tree.

“…Okay, it’s actually only active on weekends”, Sag told me.

    We walked towards the porch. I watched the smokers blow smoke rings and do tricks and compare them to each other’s. One of them caught me. “Do you want one or something?”

    “…Can I?”

    “Oh God”, Sag said. “Aqua, it’s better for ya’ if ya’ don’t start.”

    “We’re gonna die soon anyways, Archibald”, the girl who offered me one retorted, helping me light the cigarette in my mouth. “Just don’t try it for the second time if you’re afraid of becoming addicted. That’s when you start reconsidering it and adapting… Personal experience.”

    I inhaled. Oh, and then I was coughing. Pretty hard. I collapsed on my knees and held my throat, wheezing.

    Everyone but Sag seems to be laughing. I was still gasping for breath. Now Sag is panicking. He asked me if I need some water. I told him I need death.

    At least these guys don’t need to be worrying about me trying it the second time and becoming addicted then. I’m never doing that again. Don’t smoke kids.

     Slightly leaning against Sag for support, he helped me in. Inside the lakehouse, there was only a single guy there. He looks like the kind of guy that would punch everybody in the room. He sat on a recliner that looks like it will fall apart anytime soon, his legs propped on a dusty coffee table next to a laptop and an ashtray, while blowing out smoke rings to the ceiling. Of course.

    “If you’re looking for Oliver, he’s in his room. Jacking off, probably”, he spoke when we approached close.

    “Actually Mered, I’m wondering if there’s anyone who’s got a shit ton of sugar for caramel on your list. I’ve got stuff to buy”, Sag replied. Mered sat up straight with an eyebrow raised. Then he reached for the laptop, placed it on his lap, and began scanning the screen (from the reflection on his glasses, it seems to be an excel file). Well, at least this guy doesn’t question much about what we’re up to.

    “…Nope, you have to go grocery shopping yourself. But Frankie from your building’s got some caramel popcorn, that’s pretty close. He’s in room 14”, Mered finally said after a while.

    “Seriously, nothing? What about anything sweet?”

    “Archibald, you know these depressed teenagers only live off coffee, instant food and underage drinking. Hm, but Casey from building 2, room 9 has got bubblegum ‘to sneak in in class’. Sam from building 3, room 2’s got a month old apples to get rid of, those are sweet… if she keeps them in a fridge. Zoey from building 3, room 17 has tea, but I don’t think they’re up for sale, just trade. She’s looking for… Uh, booze. Amazing. That’s pretty early during the school year.”

    Sag sighed. “Well, whatever, going out it is. I have to pick up some pads and ice cream for Cadence anyway.”

     “And two packs of the usual for me. Get them by tomorrow”, The redhead in front of him added, motioning to his cigarette and taking out some money from his pocket. Sag took the money, but Mered’s gaze drifted towards his other hand holding mine.

     “Cute catch. But he looks too tame for you, in my opinion.”

     “We’re just friends” “Gee, thanks”, Sag and I quickly said simultaneously. Also what the hell is that supposed to mean? Too tame? I’ve been rigging vending machines my whole life. What can you do, blow smoke rings in people’s faces and not cough your lungs out?

    Mered just rolled his eyes. “Don’t call me squealing when you jinxed it.”

+++

    At school the next day, gossip seems to have spread a bit, because everyone I come across in the halls threw me pity looks. Well, at least I’m not a subject of laughter, I guess. Some sneered, but Sag said they’re just Richards. Even Cancer greeted me as if he’s going to a funeral… My funeral. He seems embarrassed in my place. I quietly told him not to worry with a pat.

    Aside from the stares, Sag and I have been avoiding Caleb nonstop. We don’t always have classes together, but everyone else helped me in other ways, such as Libra who diligently saves me a seat near him. What an angel.

    “Can you guys go deliver this to Oliver today?” Quinn said in a quiet voice during lunchtime, handing Sag a hardcover book. The cafeteria is pretty noisy, so I don’t know why he even bothered.

    “What’s that?” I asked, pointing to the book with my fork.

    “Uh, Watership Down”, Sag replied, reading the cover. “Oliver helps out in the school library all afternoon today, right when we have study hour after this. Libra also helps there sometimes.”

    Okay, but this is such a random timing. Is this how the librarian dataminer receive payment? Having people return books on time? That’s actually believable.

    “What about the party plan an’ stuff?” The purple-haired guy next to me turned back to them.

    “Oh, he sent in everything already”, Veto answered while texting, barely touching his salad from before. “Exact schedule, address of place, guest list, which people from Millennium are gonna help set-up, dresscode, even menu – down until every booze. Oliver’s insane.”

    “Holy shit. Are you sure he’s trustable?” I can’t help but wonder. Insane is right.

    “Yeah, his shitty ex was a Richard, so he hates them. Besides, he’s been working with us for a year, and the dude knows we pay… There. I told him you guys are coming. Now shoo and take that book far with you.”

    Fortunately, none of the teachers here give a damn about what we do during study hour, so when the next hour start, Sag and I slipped off from class easily. The library is located in a different building, and on the walk there I was surprised by Sag suddenly grabbing my hand.

    “Um…”

    “Ah! S-Sorry, haha… It just seems right to do now, y’know?” He quickly said, all flustered, immediately letting go. Well, we did come back to our room still holding hands yesterday.

    “No, no, it’s fine! I was just a bit surprised”, I assured, grabbing his. “Come on.”

    The library is perhaps the most depressing and non-liveliest place in this godforsaken school. There’s like one or two people not including the librarian himself, typing away something at the computer on the checkout desk. This is Oliver, I suppose. Sag waste no time chatting and handed him Watership Down without a word.

    “I’ve been expecting you two. Thank you for returning your book on time.”

    Oliver looked up with a subtle smile that makes me feel like being in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, and he’s enjoying my psychological torment. He flipped through the book quickly and slipped a white envelope from inside it into his pocket very swiftly. Then he stamped the book and stuff, before slipping it into the to-be-put-back tray.

    “This is a bit ridiculous. Can’t you guys just use PayPal or something?” I whispered.

    “Immersion, Tinia”, Oliver scoffed. “Immersion. Look, whatever it is you’re doing in that party, make sure you do a good job of it. That wine balloon prank is just distasteful.”

    “Will do, Sir”, Sag smirked and saluted, pulling me back to class.

 +++

((Hey, sorry it’s been a while! I’m living as a NEET for the time being, so I might as well try to finish this. Oliver and Mered were supposed to be Scorpibra and Scorpittarius cusps.))

((…BTW sorry for the awkward pacing in this chapter. I haven’t written anything for months rip))

[endenogatai]

Bryter raises $16M for a no-code platform for non-technical people to build enterprise automation apps

Automation is the name of the game in enterprise IT at the moment: we now have a plethora of solutions on the market to speed up your workflow, simplify a process, and perform more repetitive tasks without humans getting involved. Now, a startup that is helping non-technical people get more directly involved in how to make automation work better for their tasks is announcing some funding to seize the opportunity.

Bryter — a no-code platform based in Berlin that lets workers in departments like accounting, legal, compliance and marketing who do not have any special technical or developer skills build tools like chatbots, trigger automated database and document actions and risk assessors — is today announcing that it has raised $16 million. This is a Series A round and it’s being co-led by Accel and Dawn Capital, with Notion Capital and Chalfen Ventures also participating.

The funding comes less than a year after Bryter raised a seed round — $6 million in November 2019 — and it was oversubscribed, with term sheets coming in from many of the bigger VCs in Europe and the US. With this funding, the company has now raised around $25 million, and while the valuation is considerably up on the last round, Bryter is not disclosing what it is.

Michael Grupp, the CEO who co-founded the company with Micha-Manuel Bues and Michael Hübl (pictured below), said that the whole Series A process took no more than a month to initiate and close, an impressive turnaround considering the chilling effect that the COVID-19 health pandemic has had on dealmaking.

Part of the reason for the enthusiasm is because of the traction that Bryter has had since launching in 2018. Its 50 enterprise customers include the likes of McDonalds, Telefónica, banks, healthcare and industrial companies, and professional services firms PwC, KPMG and Deloitte (who in turn use it for themselves as well as for clients). (Note: because of its target users being large enterprises, the company doesn’t publish per-person pricing on its site as such.)

Bryter’s been seeing a lot of attention from customers and investors because its platform speaks to a big opportunity within the wider world of software today.

Enterprise IT has long been thought of as the less-fun end of technology: it’s all about getting work done, and a lot of the software used in a business environment is complex and often requires technical knowledge to implement, use, fix and adapt in any way.

This may still the case for a lot of it, especially for the most sophisticated tools, but at the same time we have seen a lot of “consumerization” come into IT, where user-friendly hardware and software built for consumers — specifically non-technical consumers — either inspires new enterprise services, or are simply directly imported into the workplace environment.

No-code software — like automation, another big trend in enterprise IT right now — plays a big role in how enterprise tools are becoming more user-friendly. One of the biggest roadblocks in a lot of office environments is that when workers identify things that don’t work, or could work much better than they do, they need to file tickets and get IT teams — also often overworked — to do the fixing for them. No-code platforms can help circumvent some of that work — so long as the roadblock of IT approves the use, that is.

Bryter’s conception and existence comes out of the no-code trend. It plays on the same ideas as IFTTT or Zapier but is very firmly aimed at users who might use pieces of enterprise software as part of their jobs, but have never had to delve into figuring out how they actually work.

There are already a lot of “low-code” (minimal coding) and other no-code on the market today for business (not consumer) use cases. They include Blender.io, Zapier, Tray.io (a London-founded startup that itself raised a big round last autumn), n8n (also German, backed by Sequoia), and also biggies like MuleSoft (acquired by Salesforce in 2018 at a $6.5 billion valuation).

Bryter’s contention is that many of these actually need more technical know-how than they initially claim. Grupp pointed out that the earliest automation tools for enterprise have been around for decades at this point, but even most of the very modern descendants of those “will require some coding.” Bryter’s toolbox essentially lets users create dialogues with users — which they can program based on the expertise that they will have in their particular fields — which then sources data they can then plug into other software via the Bryter platform in order to “perform” different tasks more quickly.

Grupp’s contention is that while these kinds of tools have long been used, they will be in even more demand going forward.

“After COVID-19 workers will be even more distributed,” he said. “Teams and individuals will need to access information in a faster way, and the only way for big organizations to distribute that knowledge is through more digital tools.” The idea is that Bryter can essentially help bridge those gaps in a more efficient way.

Bryter’s target user and its approach underscores why investors like Accel see accessible, no-code solutions as a big opportunity.

“No-code software is really reducing the barriers of adoption,” Luca Bocchio, a partner at Accel, said in an interview. “If people like you and I can use the software, then that means demand can multiply by big numbers.” That’s in contrast to a lot of enterprise software today, which very limited in how it can grow, he added. “Plus, enterprises these days want to see more future visibility in terms of the products they adopt. They want to make sure something will stick around, and so they tend not to want to work with super young startups. But it’s happening for Bryter, and the is a testament to Bryter and to the market potential.”

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[fenicerinnovata]

Heritage and Interventions

We are back in the Villa, and thinking about our relationship to this heritage structure.

What we are currently doing here is pretty simple — we’re writing historic fiction in a historic building.  We have an intimate relationship to this building, it means a lot to us emotionally because of its historic associations, but there’s nothing new about writing novels.

We doubt we’re the first people to write novels in here.  The Villa is centuries old and has had a lot of highly literate people through it.  The good thing about writing novels is that, although it’s difficult and time-consuming, it’s low on material resources — you can do it with paper and a pencil.  Also, it leaves no toxic waste in the space of its composition — other than the book itself, of course.

But could we create something else here, not a book?  Can we add to the “heritage”?  The concept of “heritage” changes with time.  “Heritage” has political implications, economic underpinnings.  Baroque-era heritage buildings in Torino have very checkered histories; they’ve been conquered, re-built, bombed, sometimes they catch fire; some have been abandoned for decades, the haunt of pigeons and spiders, only to be rescued by expensive restoration projects.  

Stewart Brand says that buildings must “learn,” while Viollet-le-Duc admits that a “restored” masterpiece, put on public display as “heritage,” has to achieve a state of formal perfection that it probably never had while people  used it and lived in it.  

The “stuffed animal” building is all over Europe — this is the antique local structure that looks “authentic” in its facade, mostly due to some regulatory process, while inside, behind the proper-looking antique walls,  all the modern European occupants are on Facebook, eating Mexican tacos and watching the World Cup.  The “stuffed animal” is a building with a handsome hide and big glassy eyes, but inside the original guts are gone, it’s all taxidermy.  The Vigna di Madama Reale is very “stuffed animal.”  It’s quite well kitted out for contemporary Italian office work, meetings, study groups, even large conferences, but you could never have a “royal vineyard” here.

Calvino says that the classic works of literature are not so much read, as “re-read,” so maybe classic buildings should be not so much inhabited, as “re-inhabited.”  We have our office in the Vigna, and we do work here, but we often feel that our life in here has quote-marks around it.  The context shifts; we become more self-aware inside this building.

This building and ourselves, are, temporarily, within the same time and space.  But the building is remaining here, while we won’t be here for long.  We would rather like to do something to mark our occupancy — we feel a moral urge to contribute something, to arrest the building’s entropy, to call attention to its merits, or maybe to improve the situation.  It’s like the urge of a house guest to do the dishes or mow the lawn.

However, we don’t want to harm this building with any material alterations. We’re a pair of artists in residence here, we’re not general contractors.   We would like to find some way to integrate ourselves into this slow flow of historic change in some up-to-date fashion — to invent a more modern way to be mindfully historical.

So we wonder what people, like ourselves, might do to add long-term value to a historic structure --  in some way that doesn’t affect it physically.  Can we “improve” a building without touching it?  Can we act in the spirit of Alfredo d’Andrade (he was a 19th-century hero of historical preservation in Piedmont, and a particular darling of ours) without having to be like d’Andrade, who had to hire architects, lay bricks and mix cement?

What interventions might we perform, that might last a rather long time, and even make the place more genuinely attractive, but don’t need bulldozers, jackhammers or even paint?  

We’re novelists, but we do know designers, electronics artists, performance artists, musicians, and digital media people.  And  we were heavily involved in the “Casa Jasmina” project at the Torino Fab Lab, which exists in re-purposed Turinese building from 1919.  So, whenever we find ourselves inside a structure like this one, we get speculative; it’s our nature to construe a residency as a design challenge.

What might be done, then?  Let us blue-sky a bit.

1. First, the Villa is silent.  It has a deep archival hush.  We can hear a chair squeak from across our office.  So we’re thinking some music is in order, but maybe it should be some form of music which is, somehow, integrated with the building.  Some kind of site-specific music, or sampled music.  Historicized music.

Of course you could play the signature music of the Baroque period of Torino, such as the compositions of “Sigismondo d’India,” but there’s something corny about that; to play old music in an old building is not inventive.  What would Brian Eno do?  Well, probably what Eno did inside a similar Turinese building which is a rival to our own, the “Venaria Reale” or Royal Hunting Palace, which was built by Madama Cristina’s daughter-in-law.  This is an ambient work of Eno’s called “Lux,” and of course we are keen fans of the “Lux” recording and play it often.  But most of “Lux” was composed in Britain — the sound didn’t originate in the Venaria Reale.   We’re thinking something more intensely local — maybe micro-recorded sounds of tiny squeaks in the building, or its gardens — a kind of music that isn’t imposed on the building from outside, but oozes out from within it.

Do we know musicians and sound artists who could do this sampled music?  Yeah.  Probably, we do.  The question with such a work of music is not if it’s technically doable, but what to do with it afterward.   We imagine some legal arrangement where the music of the building can *only be played in the building,” it’s legally site-specific and handed over to the new occupant in some formal ceremony.  Music ages, of course, especially showy, high-tech music — after five years, or fifteen, nobody is impressed by the cleverness of your outdated analog synthesizers.  However, after fifty years, heritage music created in, by, with and for for a heritage building would be quite interesting.  “You mean this building has old music that can only be played in the building?”  It seems quite fun.

2.  Projection-mapping.  It’s sometimes called “videomapping.”  It’s a form of digital image projection that shapes itself onto three-dimensional architectural spaces. It’s cute and people like it, but it’s basically a brief, twilight entertainment light-show.  It’s rather rare for people to projection-map the *past* of a building onto a building.  You would never see a projection map designed with, say, a fifty-year lifespan.  They’re always showy and ephemeral light-shows, never solemn, subtle or long-lasting.  It’s not entirely clear why this is so, though.  Videomapping is a rather young technology, but it’s not all that young.

3.  A ghost.  People subconsciously expect the presence of the past to appear in a building in some anthropomorphic form.  That’s why ghosts are associated with spooky old buildings; you wouldn’t expect to meet a ghost at the Torino McDonald’s, even though the McDonald’s downtown is, in fact, inside quite an old building.  

A major problem with a ghost is that you can’t hand one over as a piece of property; a ghost is never considered a building improvement or a real-estate asset, because it’s an occult phantasm.

We know people who could likely build a media installation that would appear quite like a classic ghost — for instance, a phantasmal, blurry duchess who appears at an upstairs window, briefly.  That feat would be rather cheap and slick, though; a Halloween haunted-house; a carnival trick.  What would more interesting would be to engineer a ghost whose component electronic parts were very small and rugged — not even visible.  A semi-permanent, heritage ghost.  Also, the ghost shouldn’t have to plug in anywhere; it should run on ambient energy, without maintenance.  

Then you could say, rather blithely, to potential occupants: “Oh yes, there will be a ghost in your building — just a pretty face at a window, maybe once every four or five months.  You never know when the mood will hit her — could be humidity, or phases of the Moon, or special commemorative days on the calendar — but she’ll show up!”  

And of course she would have to be a site-specific ghost — in that room, in that house, and no other.  And why do we like this?  Because it is so much like we are.

[epchapman89]

At Seattle’s Street Bean, A Better Life In Coffee

Walking into this Belltown, Seattle, cafe feels like walking into any other coffee shop. Large, sliding windows let in a ton of natural light. Wooden tables and chairs and local art furnish the interior of the shop. Happy baristas greet me from behind a Mahlkönig K30 grinder and a La Marzocco Linea PB. A mixture of young professionals, street kids, and tourists exploring the neighborhood are among the patrons. A long row of tall boy-ish cans of cold brew line the entire counter, announced proudly by a balloon banner reading “COLD BREW” in gold letters along the back wall. Balloons adorn each end of the bar, as well. Walking in, you’d think this was just another coffee shop—and one that was really excited about cold brew.

Street Bean Coffee Roasters is leagues more than that, though. Street Bean does far more than just prepare and serve coffee for anyone who visits. This is a coffee shop that offers the building blocks necessary for disenfranchised youth—a demographic of Seattle’s population often ignored—to get back on their feet. At Street Bean, you will not be turned away or looked down upon whether you’re an aspiring employee or a patron coming in to try something new. The pressure to fit into the elite aesthetic of specialty coffee, as we know it, is non-existent.

Street Bean’s purpose is to provide job experience and relevant, foundational skills to young people wanting to exit a street-involved life through coffee training, Street Bean Director of Operations Sean McDonald tells me. The coffee shop is part of a larger non-profit organization called, New Horizons, which offers services like case management, housing, job placement, and more, to Seattle youth in need.

“There are preconceived notions that homeless youth are runaways or bad kids,” says McDonald. “Some were pushed out of their homes due to lifestyle or grew up in homelessness. We try to be aware of the systemic issues of perpetual homelessness in Seattle.”

I was personally invested in learning more about Street Bean because of the story’s familiarity—I grew up cycling through poverty and homelessness, and similar programs kept my family and me afloat. At 19, I found myself homeless, again. While temporarily staying with a family member, I scored an opportunity to break the cycle: a steady job at a coffee shop.

I didn’t fit the stereotype of what a homeless kid was supposed to be—and neither did the baristas I met working at Street Bean.

Anthony Harris has worked at the cafe for over four years, beginning in the apprenticeship program. He’s now a shift supervisor at Street Bean’s flagship Belltown location. Harris didn’t plan to work in coffee. He was a five-year high school student, and through a job placement program at his alternative school, he landed at Street Bean.

“Sure, I’ll try coffee,” Harris remembers thinking to himself. “I don’t drink coffee very much, but I’ve always wanted to learn about how it works.”

Street Bean started out in the “second wave” of coffee when it first opened its doors in November 2009. In the years following, its coffee program moved towards contemporary specialty, allowing baristas more in-depth training. A Street Bean apprenticeship now includes a six-month training program that runs through customer service, filter brewing methods, espresso, and milk steaming, which includes latte art. (Sprudge covered the shop’s fifth-anniversary party, which featured a slew of fun staff-conceived signature drinks, in 2014.)

The Street Bean name is familiar to nearby cafes like the La Marzocco Cafe, Honor Coffee, Cherry Street, and Drip City, and building good rapport with them is essential to ensuring the success of apprentices once the program is over. “We encourage our apprentices to go and do their own personal networking to find jobs after Street Bean. We have a few graduates who’ve continued to work in coffee, and others have found jobs elsewhere,” says McDonald.

In an industry still struggling to overcome sex, race, and class bias, Street Bean’s program is quietly combatting these factors by offering as many opportunities as possible to their staff.

“We went to the barista competition [at this past SCA Expo], and it was so cool,” Ynga Chernogradskaia, a current apprentice at Street Bean, tells me. “I realized that being a barista is much more than a service job. It’s a whole culture.”

Chernogradskaia is a Russian refugee—and queer woman of color—seeking political asylum here in the United States. Her story is a poignant example of how meaningful opportunities like those afforded by Street Bean can be.

Russia’s extreme social and political climate made life for Chernogradskaia not only dangerous but life-threatening. Seeking a way out, Chernogradskaia came to the United States as an exchange student, and when the program ended, she decided to stay. Having settled initially in Bozeman, Montana, where she still felt visibly different than the surrounding community, she then decided to explore Seattle.

“I heard Seattle was one of the most tolerable cities for people of color to live in, so I moved,” said Chernogradskaia.

For six months, Chernogradskaia lived in multiple homeless shelters before she was led to New Horizons, and eventually an apprenticeship at Street Bean. “I was really concerned about working here, at first, though I didn’t have a choice. In Russia, there’s no good coffee. I thought I hated coffee but that was because I’d never tried good coffee,” she admits.

She remembers her manager serving her an espresso and latte for the first time. “Oh my god.” I watched as her face lit up and she mimed worshipping two invisible coffee cups. “It was so good. I fell in love with coffee. I ended up drinking way too much for a whole month after.”

Unlike Harris, who plans to finish a college degree in accounting and pursue a career in finance, Chernogradskaia wants to stay in coffee.

“I want to be a barista competitor,” she says with confidence. “Slate [Coffee Roasters] is my favorite shop, and it would be amazing to work there after my apprenticeship.”

Hearing Chernogradnskaia’s story led me to a realization I always knew but was experiencing for the first time with Street Bean: coffee is truly a beverage of massive impact, and it does not conform to any singular way of pursuit. Coffee is scientific, technical, social, and political. To people like Ynga Chernogradskaia, Anthony Harris, others in the Street Bean family, and me, coffee is an opportunity for a better life.

And now, with the official launch of Street Bean canned cold brew, made in partnership with Seattle-based company Schilling Cider, the company is taking that impact even further. Bartell Drugs in the Seattle area is already stocked with Street Bean Cold Brew and soon, other major grocers will be, too. For every can purchased, a portion of the proceeds goes back to Street Bean to continue running the apprenticeship program. McDonald is excited for the opportunity to explore this venture with Schilling. “It’s a really cool way for us to get our name and our story out there.”

Street Bean has also recently opened a second location up north in the U-District and has hopes to expand its roastery into a fully equipped training lab in the next year.

Though despite the program’s growth, it’s largely designed as a stepping stone to further-flung pursuits. When apprentices graduate from the program, both Street Bean and New Horizons staff take time to celebrate them on their journey to the next step of self-sufficiency. Some are offered permanent positions at the shop, like Harris for example, while other past apprentices have moved elsewhere. No matter the path taken after Street Bean, most do walk away with more preparedness than before for any obstacles that may come their way.

“I have financial stability,” says Harris, “And I can take care of my family.”

Chernogradskaia, too, beams when she talks about Street Bean. “It’s amazing all of the opportunities they give you to learn about coffee. I’m happier now. I have friends. I have a job. I have a home.”

Visiting Street Bean, reminders of how powerful the coffee world can be are all around you. From the care taken in preparing coffee innovatively, the conscientiousness towards sourcing the product itself, to the immediate, street-level difference it’s making in baristas’ lives. Like them, I’ve found in coffee a particularly special substance that’s nurtured, inspired, and empowered me. There’s no question that for them, and for me, coffee has made a difference.

Street Bean Coffee Roasters is located at 2711 3rd Ave, Seattle. Visit their official website and follow them on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Michelle Johnson (@thechocbarista) is the publisher of The Chocolate Barista, and the marketing director at Barista Hustle. Read more Michelle Johnson on Sprudge.

The post At Seattle’s Street Bean, A Better Life In Coffee appeared first on Sprudge.

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