#also theres a scene where one of them holds the other while they bleed out

[drinking-tea-at-parties]

If I had a nickel for every time I shipped a sad, self-destructive alcoholic with a dry-witted no-nonsense lieutenant with a gun want to dismantle the militant non-democratic government they work for set it fantasy Europe... I'd have two nickles but it's weird it happened twice

[harrywritingsbyme]

For your firsts series. I wonder if Harry is into period sex. I think he is. My idea is reader is the one nervous about it

That Time

A/N: This will be the 3rd “installment” of A Series of Firsts. This concept has been in my head for a REALLY long time so shout out to this anon for dropping this in my inbox and forcing me to write it😂. Enjoy🙃

Being horny and on your period at the same time was the absolute worst feeling in the world. You were dying for Harry to touch you, but at the same time you felt absolutely gross. You also were worried about the possibility of you guys’ bedroom looking like a murder scene if you did decide to jus throw in the towel and let Harry touch you. Just the thought of it could make you squirm. You thought that Harry would be grossed out by the idea of it all too but he was far from it. Harry couldn’t have been more down with the idea. If anything, Harry was the trying to convince you to go along with it. 

“Please.” Harry begs, crawling over to where you were laying on the bed.

“Do you really want me to bleed all over the sheets?” You ask sarcastically.  

“Y’know theres a lot of health benefits to having sex when you’re on your period.” He says, completely dodging your last question.

“Oh my goodness Harry.” You burst into laughter at how adamant he was in convincing you.

“M’serious Y/n!” He replies amusedly. “Want me to read them to you?”


“Go ahead Harry, tell me how good period sex is for me.” You concede, lifting yourself up to sit against the headboard so you could listen to him. Harry quickly digs in his pocket for his phone and he pulls up the “credible” source he found online.

“Okay, so the first and most important benefit is that it can help relieve some of your cramps.” He begins to read off the so called “benefits” of having sex right now. “The second is that we can have shower sex, and I know how much you love shower sex.” He continues, making sure to look up at you from his phone to see your reaction. 

“Keep going.” You beckon for him to continue. 

“The third thing would be that it helps increase your sex drive, even though you’re already covered in that area.” You couldn’t help but laugh at this one. Simply due to the fact that he wasn’t at all wrong about your sex drive. “And the last thing would be that theres a natural lubricant involved. Even though we both know that lube is the least of our concerns when it comes to sex either.” Harry says suggestively, alluding to the fact that you were always nice and wet for him.

“That sounds great and all but I’m still a little bit on the fence.” You admit. Before replying to you, Harry gets up and pulls you down by your legs so that you were lying on your back against the bed before climbing on top of you.

“Just wanna make yeh feel good.” He whispers down to you, trapping your body beneath his. “Wanna feel good right?“  He asks, pushing his hips down into yours. The pressure you were feeling down there from not only from it being that time of the month, but also from being extremely turned at Harry’s persistence was starting to really get to you. Add onto that the fact that you had all of this built up sexual frustration from the past two weeks of no sex, and that Harry was right on top of you, and you were just about gone. Without any hesitation, you hook your arm around the back of Harry’s neck and you pull his face down to yours, smearing your lips against his. When you do this, Harry gladly reciprocates, pushing himself further against you. You could feel Harry rocking his hips back and forth against you, pushing his bulge directly into your center. Feeling him against you only makes you spread your legs wider for him before fully wrapping your legs around him, keeping him tight against you. 

You then turn your head away from him, detaching your lips from his.

“We can have sex. Only if it’s in the shower.” You agree. 

“Let’s do it then.” He smiles back. He leans down once more to smack his lips against yours. As much as you wanted to keep going, you wanted Harry even more. You quickly push back against Harry, causing him to fall back against the bed with you on top of him. You pull yourself off of him and you make your way to the bathroom, with Harry trailing right behind you. When you get to the bathroom door you quickly stop him in his tracks.  

“You stay in here until I yell for you. Okay?” You instruct him. 

“Fine.” Harry grumbles back. 

“Good boy.” You praise him, making sure to give his cheek a light tap in the process. You quickly shut the door so that you could get yourself situated. Back in the bedroom though, Harry is already stripped down, laying completely naked in the bed. So to pass the time he knew you were going to need, he wraps his hand around his hard cock and begins to lazily tug. Not having sex for the past two weeks was killing him just as much as it was killing you, and he finally reached his breaking point. He also knew that your hormones go through the roof when it’s that time of the month. When he did the math in his head, your hormones plus the built up sexual frustration on both ends all added up to amazingly explosive sex. 

While you’re alone in the bathroom you quickly strip down completely, pushing your clothes into a little pile in the corner. You turn the water on and you make sure that it’s nice and hot. You step into the shower and you stand directly under the hot water. You were trying to get some of the “ick” you were still feeling off of your body, and you were also trying to get a little more relaxed before Harry came inside with you. Once you’ve completely calm and ready you call out to Harry for him to come in, making sure to raise your voice so that he could hear you over the running water.

When Harry hears you call him, he practically leaps up from the bed and sprints right to the bathroom. Once he opens the door, he’s instantly met with a large cloud of steam. He closes the door behind him and he makes a b-line to the shower. He opens the foggy glass door and steps in behind you. 

Without hesitation, Harry steps up right behind you, standing right under the water with you with his body pressed up against you. His arms instantly go around your waist and his face goes to your neck. He begins to leave open mouthed kisses on your neck, every once in a while sucking hard on the delicate skin. As he does this, you can feel his cock gliding between your legs and against your folds. Neither of you could stop the moans from leaving your mouths. The both of you were dying to have even an ounce of physical contact, so to be pressed up against each other like this was a lot for the both of you. 

“Y’want me to make you feel good baby?” He mumbles into your ear, continuing to keep a tight grip on you while pushing his cock between your legs.

“Please.” You beg, feeling the knot in the pit of your stomach tightening and tightening as the seconds went by.

“Wanna feel me in y’pretty little tummy baby?” He continues, pressing his hand into your lower stomach. 

“Just do something already.” You plead with him, pushing yourself back against him. Instead of replying, he sucks one final hickey onto your skin before pulling away from you. He turns you around and he pushes down against your back, signaling for you to bend over in front of him. You plant both hands firmly on the tiled wall in front of you and you bend over for him. He moves in closer to you, and he wraps one hand around your hip, and the other around his cock. He slowly guides himself into you and he’s finally getting what he’s missed so much.

“Fuck” he groans loudly behind you. Somehow, your walls managed to feel wetter, warmer, and tighter all at the same time. He couldn’t believe how he managed to go two weeks without being buried deep inside of you.

“Y’so deep.” You slur, hanging your head down low, taking in the feeling of his cock pushing into you. You could feel your walls stretching to accommodate his size and you could also feel him going so deep that you could feel the thick head of him nudging at the knot in the pit of your stomach.

Once he’s fully inside of you, he wraps both hands around your hips tightly, and he begins to thrust into you. At first his thrusts weren’t hard, allowing you to adjust to him. But after each thrust, he began to pick up speed. Hearing the sounds of your moans and the wet sound of your wet skin slapping against yours echoing throughout the bathroom was intoxicating to Harry. 

Not only was he thrusting into you, but he was also pulling you back and forth on his cock. In that moment, Harry was making you feel so good that you couldn’t even focus on keeping yourself up against the wall. So you just decided to let go of the wall completely, bending all the way over so that your hands were fully bent over, taking in every last thrust he gave you. You then hear a small chuckle come from Harry, and he begins to slam his cock as hard as he could inside of you. He was slamming into you so hard that he could see the water droplets splashing up from where you two were connected. 

“Like this baby?” He pants, continuing to pound into you as hard as he could. 

“Oh my god yes.” You whimper, lifting your hand back up against the wall to pull yourself back up.

Harry could sense that you weren’t going to be able to hold yourself up any longer. So he pulls out of you, and he turns you around, wrapping you in his arms before pulling you up and into his arms. He presses you against one of the cool glass walls. You wrap your arms around Harry’s neck, burying your face in his neck as he pushes back into you.

He keeps his hands tightly wrapped around the undersides of your thighs and he begins to move you up and down on his cock, along with thrusting up into you. He can hear your whines echoing against his skin and he can feel himself getting closer and closer to the edge. 

“Look a’me baby, let me see that pretty face.” Harry pants, continuing to fuck into you. You  pull your face from the cook of his neck and your head falls back against the wall. Your mouth is wide open and your eyes are snapped shut. “Open those pretty eyes f’me.” He growls, thrusting up harder into you. Your eyes slowly open to look at him and his eyes immediately lock in on you. “Need yeh t’cum with me sweet girl.” He mumbles, continuing to slam into you. “Can yeh be a good girl and cum with me?” He slurs, feeling himself nearing the edge. 

“Yes.” You cry out to him, keeping your eyes locked in on his. 

“C’mon baby, cum with me.” He grumbles, slowing his hips down and instead giving you a few more shallow, yet deep thrusts. 

“Oh my god!” You cry out to him feeling your release crashing down onto you. When you feel this, so does Harry. He can feel himself instantly unravel that instant.

“Fuck!” Harry groans loudly, feeling his cum pour out of him, and flood into you. Both your breaths get heavier as you two ride out your orgasms. 

Once you both are done, Harry sponges a kiss to your temple and tightens his grip on you. 

“Hold onto me baby.” He instructs softly, lifting you up higher against him. You wrap your legs tighter around his waist and you wrap your arms around his neck, dropping your head back into his neck. He wraps his arms around your back before moving to turn the water off. He walks you both out of the shower and he unwraps an arm from you, picking up two towels from the rack before taking you both back to the bedroom to get you both ready for bed. “M’gonna get yeh all cleaned up baby.” He whispers to you, even though he knew that you were still in a complete haze.

By the end of it all, you were very happy that you went along with Harry’s idea.

 Masterlist

[honeyvbarnes]

I’m Baby

Pairing: Stucky x Reader … hehehe

Warnings: 18+ Mentions of anxiety, polyamory, sexy times but no actual smut.

Summary: Love is a crazy thing.  

A/N: This was supposed to be a Steve Drabble… oops. Sorry I couldn’t resist. :-) This is my first Stucky piece soooo feedback would be very much appreciated! And thank you to @mypassionsarenysins​ @mushyjellybeans​ for helping me out! Love you! 

*

Small but violent. Petite and sassy. When you first joined the world renowned Avengers, you’re teammates described you as such. Peter would often say that you “looked like a cinnamon roll, but could actually kill someone.” It was your cute and cuddly nature that granted you the nickname Baby. Everyone on the team called you this and you loved it. Especially when it came from your captain.

Steve took a special liking to you. He wasn’t sure if it was your kind heart, or your undeniable beauty, but he knew he was in trouble every time you snuggled up next to him. At first, Steve often worried about the age difference, but you’d often remind him that he couldn’t necessarily date someone his own age even if he wanted to. The way your persona would interchange from sexy deadly assassin to cute and giggly baby, truly astonished him. Your youthfulness distracted him from the blood filled life you two lived in, he was grateful for your love. Due to your small stature and him being quite *ahem* large, he truly dwarfed you. Some days when he’d stress over reports in his office, you’d climb into his lap and lay against his chest, whispering sweet words, or hum a soft tune to ground him once more.

You loved all your teammates all the same, and as your relationship with Steve blossomed, so did your friendship with his best pal. Bucky loved you just as much, maybe even more but he’d never admit it. He often grew worrisome over his ongoing crush he had on you, but he’d remind himself just that. It’s just a crush. Everyone pretty much had a crush on you, he thought, even Natasha. You were like a breath of fresh air to the team. Sweet and adventurous, always bright with a positive attitude. Your skills leveled as being just as sly and smart like Natasha, and your knife work and marksmanship was almost as sharp as his own. You were perfect in his eyes, and he’d hope in Steve’s eyes too.

*

It became a habit of yours to stick by Bucky’s side while Steve was away on a mission. It was rare that neither you nor Bucky weren’t sent on the same mission with the captain, but when the time did come, you’d be a nervous wreck until he arrived back safely.

Bucky, the ever devoted friend, distracted you from your anxiety. He’d take you to all your favorite spots in the city, train with you (and let you kick his butt), and he’d watch all your favorite movies until you fell asleep in his arms.

Steve was away on a month long mission, with Sam and Wanda. Both you and Bucky spent every single day with each other, trying to busy yourselves until your teammates returned. The dynamic between you two stayed the same, and you’d gotten into somewhat of a routine. In the late night when you’d finally let sleep take over, Bucky would carry you to your room and tuck you into bed. Sleep rarely paid him a visit when Steve was away, because while you were worried about Steve, he naturally was just worried about you.

“Buck?”

He heard your soft voice with the creak of his bedroom door being opened.

“Yeah Doll? What are you doin’ up?” He asks sitting up. He looks at you standing in the dim light of the hallway and you’re wearing one of Steve’s shirts, the material ends just right above your knees, and he smiles at the little fuzzy socks you have on.

“I- I can’t sleep. Too nervous.”

Without another word being exchanged, you made your way to Bucky’s bed and climbed in. He freezes at your actions and he physically feels the shift of your friendship. This is new to him. He’s not necessarily sure what Steve would think if he knew he’s got his girl in his bed, half dressed nonetheless. A small palm on his chest brings him back from his thoughts.

“James, please tell me everything is going to be alright.” Your voice is soft, your hands pull him to lay down with you.

“Okay baby, okay.”

Bucky holds you all night long, he whispers old lullabies to you, in Russian because he knows you understand, and when your breathing matches his own, a sense of loneliness washes over him. You are not his girl, but you are giving him a glimpse of what it would be like if you were.

Steve arrives back to his room in the early morning, much before the sun has a chance to rise. The bed has clearly been slept in, but you’re no where in sight. At first his heart drops, his mind going straight to the worst case. Bucky, he thinks. Bucky would definitely know where you are. Steve gently pushes open the door of his best friends room, and he is met with an unfamiliar sight. There you are, he sighs in relief, yet something twists deep in his gut. Your sleeping form is tucked tight on top of Bucky’s bare chest, both his arms holding you to him protectively. Steve is shocked, but not at the scene before him. His shock comes from, well the lack of. His gut feeling isn’t something of negativity, yet it is heart warming, his love for both his lover and best friend doubles in size and he almost tears up. He’s never seen Bucky sleep so peacefully, and he can’t help but smile at how small and precious you look cuddled up with him. Steve knows he loves you, and he loves Bucky, but maybe its all one in the same?  

*

Love is a crazy thing. It’s overflowing and pure, and sometimes it can be twisty and overwhelming, but love has never been monogamous for you. As your love grew for Steve, it also grew for Bucky, and you were just lucky they were on the same page.

After much persuasion and begging, mostly on your part, Bucky agreed on the arrangement. He was new to this type of relationship, and didn’t want to intrude on what you and Steve already had. He knew he loved Steve but he loved you all the same.

Love is a crazy thing, all three of you know that for sure.

*

“Buck? You in here?” Steve steps into the dim light of the compound gym.

He sees Bucky immediately. He’s destroying a punching bag. Each blow creating tears, and it looks like its about to fall apart at any moment. The angry whirls of his left arm fill the silent room. Bucky is fully aware of Steve’s presence, but decides to ignore him just a little longer.

“Buck, come on. What did that bag ever do to you?” Steve steps forward, not phased by the heaving man in front of him. A gentle hand on the shoulder, and Bucky flinches. He’s trying to ease the inevitable pain, but the former winter soldier takes losses a little too personally. It’s not that they lost exactly, there were just a couple of more casualties than there should have been. No one was at fault, luck was just not a factor.

“Leave me alone Steve.” Bucky grits.

“You know I can’t do that.”

“Can’t or won’t?” He finally turns to Steve. Eyes rimmed red, face flush with shame, and eyes swirling with guilt. “I’m fine. I promise.”

“It’s not anyone’s fault, pal.” Steve tries, taking Bucky’s right hand in his. His knuckles are bleeding, and Steve applies pressure.

Bucky returns the gesture with a tight hold.

“I know. I- it’s just haunting. I’ve caused so much bad in this world, Steve. It feels like it’ll never stop. I close my eyes and all I see is red.” Bucky allows his walls to crumble, tears streaming steady. Pushing his face in Steve’s chest letting out sobs, as arms circle around him tightly. Steve knows theres nothing he can really say to change Bucky’s mind on how he feels, so he holds him. He lets him cry out all the pain, plants kisses on the top of his head, and whispers apologies. He feels sick that he can’t physically take this pain from him, so he does everything he can to soothe him.

“Stevie? James?”

The small voice startles them, not realizing someone had entered the gym. Bucky’s head shoots up, away from Steve as he takes you in, and Steve turns to greet you with a sorry look.

“Baby! I- I’m sorry. It’s late, you should be sleeping.” Bucky tries desperately to wipe his tears away, to compose himself in front of you.

The scene before you shatters your heart, and both men know it. It’s not that they’re here without you, but it’s the moments like these they try to hide from you. As if the darkest moments aren’t meant for Baby’s eyes. They are dead set on being your protectors, and you know Bucky tries to hide his anxiety and nightmares from you, as if it’d scare you away.

“James, come here.” your voice makes him soft, and he kneels in front of you. Arms of flesh and metal grab your waist almost frantically as he struggles to keep his panic attack at bay. You start to card your fingers through his hair, and tell him everything will be alright. Steve joins after a moment, kneels right down with Bucky.

“We’re here James, we love you.”

*

The pride that swells in both Steve’s and Bucky’s hearts is tangible. Mostly on missions when you show your alter ego. The team makes some joke over the comms like “Wheres Baby?”. On missions you’re focused, deadly even. The way you carry yourself is the complete opposite of your everyday persona. Baby is nowhere in site as you throw yourself into any fight. Steve had helped you with tactics, and Bucky helped you improve on hand to hand combat. Your talents truly shine through, on every mission.

“Jesus Y/N! You’re going to give us a heart attack!” Steve yells from the top story of the crumbling building you’re in. There’s an old man joke somewhere stuck at the back of your throat but you swallow it as you climb out from under the rubble.

“Oh calm down Stevie! Like you’ve never fallen down a couple of stories of a building!” You yell.

“Y/N, you scared us!” You can see Bucky already climbing down to come help you.

“Oh no guys, they’re calling me by my government name. I’m practically dead, start planning my funeral.” You tease.

“Alright, if everyone is okay down there it’s time to get out. The building is ready to blow!” You hear Sam’s voice filter through.

You know you’re in no real danger when you’re on missions with them. Your enhanced skills are just a plus when you have two Super Soldiers in love with you.

*

“James? Could you help me for a sec?” You’d call from the kitchen.

“What can I do for ya Baby doll?”

“I can’t reach the bowl from the top shelf, would you be a peach and get it down for me?” You ask with a sweet kiss to his chest.

Bucky looked down to you with a bright smile and a chuckle. He’s fully aware that you can very well climb the counter to reach it, but he knows you love playing baby.

‘Of course Doll, I got it.”

With a kiss to the top of your head, you turn to finish preparing dinner.

“Somethin’ smells good.” Steve’s voice filters the small room and you smile. Excited for both of your men to be home, you run and jump into Steve’s open arms.

“Welcome home Stevie! I made a real good dinner today, I found one of my mama’s old recipes!” You cover his jaw with excited kisses and you feel a hard chest at your back.

“She’s been slaving away in this kitchen all day, Steve. I’m so proud of our baby.” Bucky greets Steve with a kiss, then places a kiss to the side of your neck. The sound of your giggles fill the air and both men bask in your joy.

“Alright sweetheart, lets enjoy this amazing dinner you made.”

The three of you know that this is just temporary. A leave of absence, a vacation in your eyes. The harsh missions and bloodshed taking a toll on your lives and your health, a break was very much needed. You could’ve chosen the luxury of sandy beaches and resorts, but when asked where you wanted to spend the time off, you simply replied with “home.” The domesticity of it all warmed your heart like nothing else on this earth. Playing housewife was a dream all in its own, and you just wanted them to feel like they had a home with you. Being from a different time period agitates them on occasion, knowing they missed out on living normal lives. So you try your hardest to show them that they can still have that, they have a home.

*

Tony’s always the first to make some sort of Sugar Daddy joke. You think its funny and you like to tease Steve and watch his blush grow from his neck to his cheeks. Bucky on the other hand teases you, because he knows you enjoy calling him Daddy.

Both men spoil you to no end. On your days off they’ll take you shopping, bags upon bags filled with clothes, jewelry, and lingerie. It’s a dream come true really. You’ll pick out new shoes and pants for Steve, because he’s dead set on his casual dad look. Bucky will ask for your opinion on every single little thing he chooses. He’s got a very modern biker model look going for him and he owns multiple leather and jeans jackets that you absolutely adore him in.

*

Broad chests press both to your front and your back, leaving you breathless. Strong hands roam your body as if it’s a map, that they’ve memorized. Love is overflowing from all three bodies, conjoined with the need for one another.

Steve has always been a gentle lover. In some cases he’d get a bit forceful, usually after a stressful mission, but normally he worships you. From your head to your toes, there is not a piece of your skin left untouched by his lips. Completely addicted to the taste of you. Steve knows you’re strong, but he makes love to you as if you were made of glass. Like you’d break under him and he’d lose you if he was too rough. It’s not something you dislike, you love it actually. The way he takes care of you makes you feel wanted and truly loved. He holds you tight, whispers praise, and doesn’t stop until he knows you’ve been satisfied, at least more than three times.

Bucky is the complete opposite of Steve. Yet he is gentle with you, he’s an adventurous lover. The gleam in his eye can set you afire from across the room. He’s needy, and he’ll take you anywhere he pleases. The thrill of it excites you and his stamina is just as great as Steve’s. Bucky knows all your kinks. He knows when you’re in the mood to be spanked, choked, and downright used, and he happily obliges. He knows you’re a feisty little one, and being rough with you pleases him just as much as being gentle does. Bucky likes trying new things with you as well, and he thinks it’s hilarious when you seduce Steve into agreeing into something new, because he’ll get flustered and blush uncontrollably so.

Together they make you feel like a goddess. The contrast of the two sets your nerves on fire, hot flames run through your veins, and every time you swear it can’t get any better, but it always does.

Both men shower with you with affection, you simply drown in their love. There’s nothing they wouldn’t do for you. You’re their baby after all.

* 

Taglist: @pinnedandneedled​ @perpetually-tuned-out​ @stuckonjbbarnes​ @rayche776​ @sebbbystaaan​ @the-wayward-robot​  @captnrogers​ @chloerinebarnes​ @valkyriesryde​ @captain-kelli​ @stateoflovinged​ @mushyjellybeans​ @bitchassbucky​ @an-adventureland​  @imma-new-soul​ @mypassionsarenysins​ @rumoured-whispers​ @mrwinterr​ @elizzysnow13​ 

[seerofmike]

i feel like a huge portion of kpop fans are gay fetishists attracted to the idea of quote unquote feminine men and thats why theres so much bullshit

YES okay. okay let me rant for a minute. let me preface this by saying i am NOT a kpop shipper at ALL. this is going to be long so i’ll put it under a’ ‘read more’ because i’ve been holding it in for TWO FUCKING YEARS BABY!

being mlm in boygroup kpop fandom is literally so exhausting. 99% of the people who ship real life human men from boygroups are fetishists and i will tell u why

obviously we all know of a ship in a fandom where the characters' personalities are twisted to fit the heteronormative view of "top" and "bottom" --one character is hypermasculine (top) and the other one is feminine (bottom). there are typical traits associated with both. the ‘top’ is scary or mean or angry or serious while the ‘bottom’ is emotional or bubbly or shy. while this is egregious, at least its fictional characters. their personalities can be simplified or exaggerated and it doesnt cause any real life harm.

im going to define what i think of as a fetishist: a non-mlm person who overly sexualizes gay men/men they think are gay/gay ships, and forces them into heteronormative roles for their own pleasure. its not even limited to cishet women. plenty of non-mlm lgbt people do this too and its like disheartening. so anyways

enter the kpop fandom

i may be incredibly biased here because one of the most affected members [of bts] is my favorite kpop boy, but oh god is the ‘personality change/simplification’ thing AWFUL here. i do not go out of my way to find fanart or see fanfic threads, but being in the bts fandom, u will inevitably see it and i REALLY wish i didnt

so anyways. my favorite boy ever is hoseok. he is sweet and hardworking and very passionate about dance and he can be serious when needed, but ultimately he tries to be very lighthearted and will consistently laugh or make jokes or do something funny when the other members feel uncomfortable or awkward (mostly during english-speaking interviews). he kisses the members on the cheek a lot/hugs them a lot/cuddles them a lot [this is important for later okay]

of course, theres a lot more to him because he is a multi-faceted real life human being, and i don’t know him personally, but that’s a general idea of what he’s like, okay?

SHIPPERS will have you think differently. some video got popular on youtube ""proving"" that hoseok is a sadist (which is just clips of him jokingly playfighting with the younger members), and the video depicts him as secretly mean and serious, and shippers will use that to say "hoseok is a total top!" and then most fanart or imagines or fanfic threads you see are top!hoseok, using this imagined 'hoseok is a sadistic dom' narrative to fuel their fiction, because SOMEONE has to be the top, so they twist him into this hypermasculine mean person (and probably feminize the 'bottom' of their ship but more on that later)

EXCEPT it is not just fiction. this narrative bleeds into REAL LIFE. you have new armys who dont know anything about the shipping scene, and yet somehow the narrative of hoseok being a secretly mean, sadistic person has already made its way into them. in real life, hoseok likes rainbows and wearing nail stickers and putting glitter in his hair. yet people in the fandom will say shit like "hoseok hates femininity" "hoseok would never wear [thing] because he's a dom"

sometimes on twitter you have ppl like me who say uh actually you guys are really weird and this is fetishy and in real life hoseok is very nice and not sadistic at all, you will UNDOUBTEDLY get comments like "omg hoseok isnt cute/nice when will yall learn he’s secretly like [x] and [x]". you could post a video of hoseok with a puppy titled "wow cute" and u will get like 2 clowns in ur comments going 'hoseok isnt CUTE hes a sadist’ . i wish i was joking but i am not. they will do this for EVERY action hoseok does. he cannot blink without people twisting it into a sexual thing

[also, side note: its funny that, since hoseok is one of the least popular members and therefore one of the least shipped members, he is often the odd man out among pairings, and is assigned 'the straight one' by default, and 9 times out of 10 people who assign him 'the straight one' do all this 'dom daddy hoseok' shit.

which just goes to show that this is indeed a matter of heteronormativity.]

so anyways arguably the most popular ship with hoseok is with yoongi, sope. this absolutely happens to other ships probably but im just using them as an example because i see it the most, being a hobi stan

yoongi is very calm and thoughtful and kind and sometimes appears to be cold/having a bad attitude but its just because of the way he speaks, which is very bluntly. again hes a multi faceted real human and i do not know him personally but thats generally what hes like.

god the fandom. treats him SO BAD. so horribly. he's shorter than hoseok. he's shorter than hoseok and people will exaggerate that literal 1 inch height difference so bad and people will turn his whole personality into shy and blushy and In Love With Hoseok, so in love with hoseok that ‘he gets sad’ when hoseok doesn’t kiss him/hug him/or whatever and IT BLEEDS INTO REAL LIFE.

ANY time hoseok or yoongi do ANYTHING together at ALL, people will ALWAYS push the narrative that hoseok, being the mean sadist he is, is 'hurting' yoongi for not returning his undying love or whatever. hoseok did a vlive where he made bracelets for all the members and he considered putting a cat charm on yoongi's but ultimately decided not to because he was having difficulty and oh my GOD sope stans twisted it into 'hoseok HATES yoongi, yoongi would have been so happy, he would have worn that all the time, hoseok isnt affectionate he hates being close with other people after all :(' which is LITERALLY not true because hoseok gives all his homies good night kisses but okay! whatever fits your narrative!

PEOPLE ACTUALLY HATE HOSEOK BECAUSE OF THIS. BECAUSE OF A SHIP. BECAUSE OF THE MANUFACTURED NARRATIVE PUSHED ONTO HIM BY FETISHISTS SO HE COULD FIT INTO THEIR HETERONORMATIVE ‘TOP’ ROLE. not to be all wahh wahh hoseok is one of the least popular members BUT THIS IS LITERALLY A CONTRIBUTING FACTOR.

everyone """headcanons""" hoseok to be a top so they will make him a MEAN HYPERMASCULINE person. everyone """headcanons""" yoongi as a bottom so they will make him a SOFT UWU HYPERFEMININE person. shippers are literally pigeonholing the two of them into fujoshi-esque roles for jack-off material.

anyways this all boils down to: gay fetishists will do anything, ANYTHING, to twist characters or real life fucking people to fit their heteronormative view of top and bottom. top=mean and masculine, bottom=soft and feminine. hoseok is a real life human being. yoongi is a real life human being. they both have real life human personalities, and yet shippers twist their personalities into the opposite to fit their narrative, to the point where nonshippers will genuinely view the two of them as something theyre not.

you have tons of armys that theorize that hoseok's happiness is just a mask he puts on to hide a cruel nature. on twitter. on youtube. in fanart and fanfiction. you have tons of armys that truly believe that, despite literally all the evidence, believe he hates being cute, he hates being happy, he hates the members, and hes secretly a dom daddy fuckboy who wants to bend yoongi over a table. hes a real life human being and fetishists doing their fetish thing has real life consequences.

the same is true for bottom!hoseok stans: they overexaggerate his more cutesy personality traits and he does have a 'feminine' figure i.e. he has a rly small waist but they will overexaggerate that as well and give him huge hips and its disgusting but dom!hoseok is far more frequent with far more devastating consequences so i used that as an example but they’re both bad.

people who """"headcanon"""" [like actually headcanon/firmly believe and not just joking or lighthearted] that members are gay will force these types of roles onto the members. if someone genuinely believes that like, yoongi is gay/bi/whatever, and then try to force this subby soft uwu persona onto him, they have no respect for gay people. they dont. gay people are simply objects for their fantasies. their view of gay people is so one-dimensional and so driven by fetishists’ ideas that its actually disheartening.

and god bitches will deadass be homophobic yet still ship real ass human idols. not just for bts specifically but all boygroup fandoms. sometimes when you search up an idol's name, [idol] gay will be trending--whether it be because of people saying "im gay for him" or whatever, and a LOT of cishet people will try 'clearing' the searches because being gay is bad or something. people normally ‘clear’ the searches if something like [idol fat] or [idol ugly] are trending, which im telling you so you know the context that people only clear the searches when bad things are happening.

[never forget that time 'jungkook gay' was trending and bitches were like "lets clear the searches!" but their pinned tweet said some shit like "sub jungkook x dom jimin coffee shop smut au thread 🌈". bitches also be like i cant be homophobic i ship taekook]

and hoseok and yoongi arent the only ones affected ! we could get into why namjoon and jin (another popular ship) are often assigned 'dad' and 'mom' respectively, or the fact that gay fetishists not only twist members' personalities to fit their ship narrative, but will also force tropes onto them i.e. taehyung/jungkook shippers who will literally demonize jimin and call him a slut or say that he's trying to 'get in the way of' of taekook or 'steal' taehyung/jungkook but thats a whole DIFFERENT rant baby! racism/asian fetishism is also definitely a present factor in all of this but this focus was primarily on gay fetishism and heteronormativity.

oh my god i could also get into the severe transphobia/trans fetishism in this fandom too but this post is already long enough as it is

tl dr: gay fetishists will fetishize real life people and it has actual real life effects and we should ban straight women from shipping mlm

[amoosewritesfanfic]

21: knife play

[+18]

[Tomura Shigaraki x Pro Hero female reader]

[PLEASE READ THE WARNING VERY IMPORTANT STUFF THATS WHY IT'S SO FREAKEN BIG AND RED]

[Warning: some rough sex, knife play that results in lots of blood, shiggys a big ass sadist in this. So just be warned this is probably gonna be gorey so just like be super warned, but keep in mind the quirk and all that jazz that's been mentioned. If you don't like blood, don't read it! I'm warning you if you get triggered by blood and knife play!! Also death so... yeah

So skip it if you don't like it please. 🌺]

[Y'all know I don't own any characters or art and as always all credit goes to original creators]

-

-

You were bound, your arms were behind your back and your legs were being held apart by a chain.

You didn't make a witty remark as you usually would, something about this situation was... dangerous, Shigaraki was at times unpredictable and you definitely didn't want to risk anything to piss him off.

"Ya' know Y/N, I didn't think you were so easy to capture, what being one of the best heroes and all..." Shigaraki trailed off as he eyed you in your casual clothes which consisted of a black skirt, thigh high stockings and a red shirt.

Your hair left loose and a beautiful red lipstick covering your lips.

"What do you want with me...?" You dared to question.

Your wrists were in pain from trying to pull out of the ropes holding you down.

"Hmm~ that is the question now isn't it? I admire you honestly. You're one of the most honest heroes, kinda like All Might, but better. You don't take any of the money given to you for your own selfish desires and you work behind the scenes, but your presence is so well known as a hero no villain has dared to come against you~" he cooed, digging into his coat pocket, pulling out a pocket knife.

Your body tensed slightly as you narrowed your eyes at the villain.

The blade lifting your chin so he could get you to look up into his crimson hues or as means to threaten you into not trying anything.

"And I want to use you, gods I want to use this pretty little face of yours to scare the other heroes and scum into accepting their new fate!" As he spoke he brought the knife down, cutting open the shirt to expose your breasts being held up by a simple black laced bralette.

"And what fate might that be Shigaraki...? You don't think that I would actually comply with such a request." As you spoke Shigaraki grinned, running his free hand through his hair, being sure to keep his hair out of his face so you could get a good look at his face as he knelt down.

"You'll comply Y/N, because if you don't a lot of unnecessary innocents will die and as a hero isn't it your duty to protect them?" He asked, you growled quietly and he grinned.

"The fate that they will be facing is none other than serving under me, see that bastard overhaul had the idea right, but he couldn't pull it off. He couldn't see the bigger picture." The blue haired male paused, this time cutting off the skirt you wore, exposing a simple black laced panties to match your bralette.

"Turn that little concoction into a gas, spread it out far and wide. It'll cause riots and they'll all come crawling out of the woodworks... all those fake shitty heroes. Their excuses would be that they don't have quirks so they can't do their duty... but someone like you. You'd be fine after all you don't have a quirk do you?" Your eyes widened.

You did have a quirk, but your quirk was useless unless you died.

Your quirk was reincarnation.

"No no... wait you do have a quirk don't you?" He asked, the blade dragging along your stomach gently but he pulled it back dragging the blade down your wrists drawing blood, making you clench your jaw.

You didn't answer him.

"Your quirk, I started noticing a pattern while looking through your files, you were always on the brink of death or announced dead but a few days later you were alive by some miracle. Your quirk is reincarnation."

'Fuck' was the only thought running through your mind.

"It's useful... see we're gonna use it... we're gonna fake your death and then kill you again... and again and again until you give up~ until you become my mindless servant~ well you'll still have your brains and whatnot but you won't have a free will." He brought the blade down cutting off the bralette now, the blade leaving a trail of red between your breasts.

"And... oh wow I'm gonna mark every inch of this body..." he mumbled as he shifted you slightly back, exposing your stomach.

The blade dragging along your skin, it was going deep and you were doing your best to bite back any noises that threatened to escape but you couldn't.

You cried out in pain as he carved his name into your stomach.

Crimson liquid dripping from the wound and pooling beneath you.

"See I'm not gonna kill you, not yet... I wanna toy with you..." he said.

Standing up slowly.

Watching you pant as crimson stained your panties, stockings and skin.

"I wanna see how far I can push you until you beg for death or maybe you're a masochist." He trailed off for a moment as he dragged the blade along your chest, drawing blood making you wince slightly.

His fingers, except one, pushed your hair out of your face before he cupped your cheek looking down at you, keeping his pinky lifted.

"What a pathetic hero... crying from a few minor wounds..." he mumbled trailing his thumb over your pouting lip.

"This could change into pleasure if you just agree..." he mumbled, that was a lie.

You knew it, he was gonna kill you.

But you nodded. You dont know what you agreed too, your brain was becoming muffled, any words he spoke you could barely make out in that second.

His hand reached down and decayed the chains holding you down.

You were too shaky to move as he helped you up, you couldn't concentrate, the pain was too much, blood and sweat mixing together burnt so fucking badly.

He had removed his jacket now, he had on a white shirt, but in your pained haze you didn't notice he was hard until you felt it pressing against your blood covered panties, his white shirt staining red with your blood.

You were sitting on a bed an old bed by the looks of it, one that had barely been used but you knew it was old because they hadn't made a mattress like this in some time.

"Hmm...~" he hummed as he ripped off the panties and pulled out his cock, his tip brushing against your pussy folds making you whimper.

You didn't understand what was going on with your body, you thought you'd be feeling pain especially a stinging sensation from your wounds but... no, instead you felt nothing but pleasure, especially since Shigaraki had buried himself deep inside you.

Placing kisses along your throat as he started bouncing up up and down on his cock, your hands tugging a little at his hair as he had you bounce.

Watching your perky breasts bounce along with you.

"Hmm~ theres a good girl just like that~" he cooed as he bounced you faster in his lap, his free hand had a grip on the pocket knife, but you were to wrapped up in your own pleasure to realise or even feel the cold, bloodied blade pressing against your throat.

The moment you two had gotten close to your orgasms was the moment he dragged the blade across your throat, slitting it, bloody instantly gushing out.

This sensation... gods you couldn't describe it.

It was a new level of ecstasy, your eyes rolled to the back of your head and you were basically gargling your blood which spilt from your throat your hands trying to stop the bleeding but you couldn't you couldn't focus your orgasm mixed with death felt way too good, your entire body gave a few more jolts and twitches before you actually blacked out.

Going into that void between life and death as if your soul was resting for a brief moment.

...

When you had woken up, or rather shot up gasping for air, your hands moving for your throat as you tried to feel if the wound was still there...

You were in a different room from the one where you were killed, Shigaraki no where to be seen but you were naked. Some dried blood still staining your fingers and some parts of your body.

"You're awake, that's just wonderful~" he hummed.

"Two days and you're all healed up." He hummed.

"How was dying and cumming?" he asked as he brought a glass of water over to you which you accepted happily chugging it down instantly.

"Good..." you answered trailing off.

Good?

That was your answer?

You should have been trying to escape to get away from him... why were you sitting here acting like he hadn't just killed you.

"I heard that's the best form of ecstasy, a shame I can't try it~" he said with a chuckle.

"Relax Y/N, theres no reason for you to leave yet right?"

"I... no. I don't." You answered truthfully.

You didn't need to leave.

"Good girl~ I'll take good care of you~" he hummed.

-

-

[Also I'm basing this off of that really messed up hentai Euphoria 👀 if you know... you know mate, also please don't kill your s/o while you fucking lmao it's not very plus ultra. Also this is fictional. So... JUST FICTIONAL MATE, also if you read the entire thing well done.]

[fanguuuhhhrl]

Im kinda obsessed with I-Land right now. I love 23 boys and if possible i would like them all to debut but the elimination is in 30 minutes so im going to post my top 12 picks before it airs (kind of in order, kind of not, im biased, this is based on an unsure mixture of skill and personality, could change but most likely not):

1. Sunoo- BITCH!!! WTH!!! I JUST LOOK AT HIM AND MY SEROTONIN LEVELS BURST THROUGH THE ROOF!! He is a puppy!! He is amazing. If you didnt know anyone yet and you put all 23 boys in a line up. He will draw your attention with his sunshine smile :)))) he is so heartwarming. Most people be like "i have no filter" but they just be mean, but this guy is different, he literally has no ability to hide what he thinks but it never comes off as anything negative. He says "Me! I can do it!" but it's just endearing and never comes across as trying to show off. He says "there was a little bit of friction" and when the members look at himshocked, he looks at them shocked too.... theres no dull moment when he's in frame. It's so amazing how pure a person can be. But know that i am not just rooting for personality but for talent. his voice... His Voice!!! Vocally geonu and heeseung really slayed the butterfly performance but if you ask me, "save me" had a more emotional attack. His facial expression is just brimming of feelings. His voice is so raw. Also You know that part in save me where he transitions from head voice into chest voice really smooth??? You'll know what im saying if you see it. thats so fucking satisfying that i had to replay it so much. I definitely replayed the save me performance more times honeslty. And the way he dances!!! It might not be That refined yet but that's the charm... it's so raw and full of emotions... so like him. I can see myself stanning this group long term if he debuts with them.

2. Jungwon- tf i love this boy so much. his visuals already stood out to me when they were entering i-land, then his voice stood out to me in the first challenge... he did that hard ass choreography without any audible changes to his voice that i had to rewind that multiple times (more than the editor already did) then the moment i saw him dance the center in episode 4??? BOY???? BOY!!!! that was my breaking point... i can't believe im saying this about men but i already knew i would die for him... plus he is so sweet :((( his eyes are just so naturally cute but i was so shocked in the last challenge when he was able to pull off that fierce ass look.... i am devastated... im about the same age but my parental instincts are at work here. plus SPOILER ALERT to those who plan to watch he won first place in both the first and last challenge can everybody say jungwon ace

3. Geonu- my feelings for him are much like jungwon :((( except theres more parental instincts... and i say this despite being younger than him but whatever age is just a vibe... HE IS SO LIDDOL :((( i want to be his mom :(( at first, personality wise, it's hard to notice him bc he's a little calm and laidback... but its the little things that draw you to him :((( his glasses and hoodies just seem a little bit big on him and that just makes me smile for some reason... he cries silently when people are sent to the ground and he gets along well with the people... i noticed him first together with jungwon in the first i land challenge because they had the most stable performance. but i've never been more attached to him than when he sang butterfly (favorite bts song anyone??)... i honestly thought they could debut then and there and i wouldnt bat an eye... also it's so funny that the one thing i identified him with during the early episodes was the fact that whenever the camera pans to him, he just has the dead eye stare and parted lips (think: pokerface but confused) especially with the huge ass glasses but in the end the poker face thing that stuck to me became the thing that worked against him i cri

4. Jay- hold on folks this is going to be a long one. Jay has such a powerful personality that at first made me hesitant about liking him... idk he just seemed like the guy i would not vibe with in real life, but the longer time passed, the more he became one of my favorites and i root for him now like crazy. at first it was funny when they kept rejecting him for the vocal parts, but the more it went on, i was so sure that if it was me, i would have cried and dropped then and there, but it was so amazing watching him push through that and he didnt even lie about how he felt. his unique determination is such a breath of fresh air, a little heartwarming and oh so inspiring. i honestly learned a lot from just watching him. the time he went to the ground was so crucial to his development as a person, leader and performer. it was so mindblowing when he became the leader at the ground and even adapted heeseung's teaching methods. you know that meme "improvise, adapt, overcome?" he is the exact personification of that. what i loved about him the most is that even with his steely determination, he didnt enforce or project that on the other grounders, he just shared it with them. he understands when they need rest, encouragement or massages. he was such a caring leader. Skill wise- i can't say anything. He already proved himself so many times. Great dancer and potential vocalist. The mnet specials also show how much sweeter he is than the show shows him to be. He takes care of everyone, and has more of mother duck than street gang vibes (and he knows how to cook!!). And at the end, while he seems to be mostly self- oriented about debuting, he ends up spending most of his time teaching others and helping them improve. I just love him. Debut Jay 2k20!!!

5. Sunghoon- tf this guy is so cool and laidback that i didnt even pay much attention to him during the early parts but he just keeps crawling into my heart because so many members love him so damn much??? and he just goes along with them?? they want me to do triple axel while average people can't even do a single axel on a trampoline?? ok imma give them a double axel tho. jake is challenging me to arm flexing? yeah why not? k wants me to dance?? yeah lemme just spin 50 times. jay wants to shower together?? weird but im not strongly against the idea. ej wants to scare people? count me in. someone needs a hand to hold?? ok here's my warm hand to the rescue... everyone just wants to be his friend that he birthed my favorite sunoo scene "im cuter than him [jake]" and he was just like "yeah ok i guess so" sksjsk sunoo is that how you ask someone to be your friend jshdk??? and can i just say? as a figure skating fan, he has automatic +52536 points... and when the judges said he's the most natural performer out of them??? i vibed with that hard.. he dances well so naturally and he takes your attention without even seeming like he's trying to. that dance performance with k and jungwon?? i thought at first that his energy wouldnt catch up but damn boy my eyes were just trackingnhim the entire time unintentionallu that i had to rewind and he was just as great as all of them... with the additional benefit of being a stunt boy!! and though it might seem effortless, we saw that he practiced so hard for it. overall a 100/100 boy with a naturally charismatic personality that bleeds into his performance... as a fellow 02 liner i would also like to apply as his bestfriend thank you

6. Heesung- what can i say except he's a perfect boy ok thats it why are you still reading... jk... ok lets talk about him... skill wise?? I cried during the butterfly performance. i marvel at his vocal stability. his voice is so crystal clear. his dancing is so clean. his skills are superb but most of all, theyre already so refined. there's nothing more i could ask for. personaloty wise... i also have a lot to say... despite his celebrity status, it's awesome how he can make the other trainees comfortable with him. he's kind and soft and lovely.

but because i am me, i have to overanalyze people so idk skip this if you dont like that. for someone who's experienced being an academic achiever... i sure do vibe with his personality a lot... you know when there's a group activity and you're so sure you can lead it well but you don't want to? half because you dont want to come off as a show off and half bc you genuinely still have self-doubts, and you're scared of falling short of expectations. Also, you feel that if it all fails, you'll be responsible so you have to feel that everyone approves you before you can take leadership and show your entire thing. And the moment you feel validated and take the reins, you start unconsciously projecting your perfectionist attitude on people??? yeah... i love that despite being an almost perfect person he still has issues most people can find relatable and that, in addition to the talent makes me want to root from him. (im also going to take a stab and guess that his mbti is probs ixxp) i'll be honest tho, because its like 100 percent sure now that he'll debut, im not super attached to him??? i love him tho but he's just not in any danger so i can just let my support for him chill. i think amidst this, bc most of the trainees depend a lot on him, i mostly hope for him to take care of his mental health

7. Daniel- awww danielll... i went into i-land not knowing anyone's ages so i had a brief whiplash feeling when someone said daniel is 15... it's because he's so emotionally mature?? like he's such a supportive and caring person that it barely struck me the that he might be the youngest?? he already caught my attention when they performed "any song" bc they just seemed like they were having fun and doing their best without the pressure of whether they would win ir not, and for me that attitude is something you'd see from more experienced performers. and during the second ep when he just felt the need to comfort everyone bc he's got such a high score?? i loved that an i was so bummed out when they eliminated him. the save me performance was definitely a cherry on top that i just had to love him more than i already do... he may be young but he's as ready to debut as everyone else.

8. Jake- jake is just one of the people who showcased so much growth between ep 1 and ep 2. he already had the right attitude when they performed crown and he just had to improve skills and stage presence, and improved he did. despite being one of the trainees with the shortest training time, he was the one teaching the others by the end it just supports my theory that he might have been an ace as well if he just had the same amount of training as everyone else. im also truly in love with his mischievous antics. he seemed like an introvert to me at first but he came out of his shell and i love that. also i just crave more moments of him and sunghoon's friendship (they both seemed like introverts who found someone they could be extroverts with in each other) i am 👌this close to storming i land and demand that they let me join their merry little band of 2002 children

9. Niki- dance skills= 100 he's just so good it's unreal... it's insane... everytime he's on screen i hear boss musicand i cant even imagine him being younger than anyone, let alone taki. i get why some people dislike him but honestly i think it's just because they don't see him as a child... but he is. i was honestly a bit mad for him when they kept guilt tripping him into leading all of them, and i understood his tjought process when he thought he just kept failing everyone and when he thought things just kept backfiring on him. he is held on such a high pedestal and i dont think he deserves that kind of burden. as for me, it would just be a waste of talent to let him go. his attitude could still improve, as we'd seen when he eventually volunteered to help everyone. i also felt bad when he said that he's scared he might not be voted bc some people dont base on skills and i love him and i just want him to kmow that he's loved

10. Taki- what the hell can i even say?? he's the kindest softest boy ever. he tries to see the good in people and is very hardworking... he listens to people well and actually follow them, so he improves a lot... he knows people think he's cute and he tries and tries and tries to look fierce if the song calls for it... he is amazing

11. K- i really can't say anything, he really stands out during performances. also very pro at dancing. his choreography??? *chef's kiss* and i think the younger trainees depend a lot on him, besides heesung and so he's good at keeping the team together.

12. EJ- im really hesitant about the last person to be the twelfth i lander because it could almost be anyone and i wouldnt be too bummed out bc theyre almost all equally talented... the thing with ej tho is he already gets along well with the i landers and has harmony with other members. (plus see above: im a sucker for the 2002 line) i think its a tiny bit unfair to base it on this bc the others didnt even get a chance to show what they can bring to the group so im torn.

bonus: i wouldnt feel too bad if it were jaebeom (he has great voice, the producers think he's not too stand out bc he's weak at dance, but the i land is already so full of people whose expertise is dancing, so i think there should be someone who's specialty is singing), kyungmin (i really appreciated how hard he worked during the last test and it actually paid off, i honestly noticed him there even if he was always at the back. i also loved his determination and i was so touched when he and jaebeom were talking and he said "there's really nothing to do but believe in the impossible right?" it's just that the i landers were already ahead of him in terms of skills so he failed the votings) and hanbin (i've watched his cover videos and he's really good at dancing and stage projection. like i was honestly wondering why it wasnt showing in the performances :((( and he hadnt even had too much screentime to actually See what he's capable of.

[inknose]

mdzs read diary part IV, the end

It’s inspiring how much self care wwx is gonna finally get now that his husband will go along with whatever he does, so he’s gotta look out for lwj’s well being if not his own. that is emphatically the STUFF

dragging my hands down I face as I read this, after all these chapters of getting up close and personal with ghouls bleeding from every orifice, slaying ancient beasts, rebelling against the entire cultivation world, the two of them are absolutely paralyzed by middle school crush sleepover math

chicken

he actually drew kissy doodles .... he....

IDK I THINK I JUST DOCUMENTED THIS PART CUZ I WAS STILL SCREAMING you cant expect me to have very useful things to say at this point

this is torture you are both so mushy you are so GONE

This part really stood out to me, it’s an attitude I feel like wwx implies with his inner narration a few times but most clearly says here: he’s not one for allowing himself to exaggerate how bad his circumstances are/could be even a little bit - he’s already lived through some extreme low points and found a way to keep going, so he never makes sweeping statements about what he couldn’t live without (Inner JingYi: you’re supposed to say you’d be lost without him here!!!) Instead he seems to accept as a given that being alive doesn’t guarantee him any pleasantness or joy at all, and as a result his feelings toward being in TRUE LOVE are surprisingly pragmatic, but also colored with such gratitude. There are a lot of things in the novel that struck me, like this, as being just a little to the left of familiar tropes/sentiments, and were more touching for it. Whether it be the influence of culture difference as opposed to what I’m used to reading in most western romance stories, or MXTX’s unique outlook, or a combination of both, it was really refreshing and made me pause over it. Not “I can’t imagine living without you” but “I could be living without you, but instead I get to be with you and I think that’s the best thing that could happen.”

ADJFDKFJ THE UST BEING SO STRONG THAT EVEN THE VILLAIN COMMENTS ON IT IN THE MIDDLE OF EXECUTING HIS EVIL PLANS IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT WILL NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME LAUGH MY ASS OFF. hes like god damn! here I thought I had problems

it was at this moment that I realized we were doing this Now... I’m still recovering. What a scene. I am so glad I saw the most incredible fanart soon afterwards, bc the fact that someone has already drawn a perfect comic of this part means I don’t have to

I love you so much, you are so annoying, you are perfect... I like how he’s been experiencing openly requited love for all of ten minutes but he’s already figured out how to weaponize it to piss people off

doing!!! his!!! job!!!!!

ahh... it’s a really good story. JGY is a great character. One of the most interesting differences for me between drama watching vs. novel reading experience is that without an actor to bat his vulnerable doe eyes at you and smile faintly with his cute dimples, the book does not go much out of its way to try to lull the reader into a false sense of security around him or *endear* him to you the way the show does. But just by seeing events through wei wuxian’s POV, its still enough to evoke pity or understanding towards him. The overall impression is a bit more detached though, there’s less emphasis on the spectacle of how he could manipulate everyone closest to him and more of a general feeling of resigned tragedy that everyones the worst on this bitch of an earth.

I CANNOT DEAL WITH YOU FOR EVEN ONE MORE SECOND!!!!

I clearly paused to take note of less and less parts at the end & the extras due to: a) too excited to reach the end b) too spicy to photograph and c) too sleepy cuz I kept reading in the middle of the night. but I absolutely took the time for Bro We Are Teens appreciation corner:

I’d absolutely read 40 more extra chapters of their monster-of-the-week field trip antics.

god... poor Jin Ling now basically has to deal with divorced parents that talk shit about each other to him whenever he is saying with one of them. except they are both his uncles. just a disasterhood of all uncles from start to finish. AUUUGH wei wuxian and jiang cheng have fucked me up completely, I dream of them reconciling but I also REFUSE to believe it would ever be easy. let me know if theres a fanfic that absolutely tortures you for decades before they hug

HAHAHA oh no this man ain’t making it to immortality thats for damn sure. HE’S JUST GONNA TRY AS HARD AS HE CAN HIS WHOLE LIFE NOT TO LOOK AT HIM BUT THEYRE *MARRIED* SDLKFJSF ohhhh it’s too funny, like... the mundane domestic family drama IN the fantastical swords and sorcery setting is what really ratchets up these things from amusing to fucking hilarious I think

aaaa the end... final random thoughts? No not final, I would like to please keep discussing at length and exhaustively, all the time please - CQL has gotta be one of the best TV adaptations I’ve seen. ANY adaptation of anything would be lucky to be so good!! reading the novel has just made me appreciate it even more.

- I don’t think I can do justice to what I find most fascinating about comparing the two versions briefly, to do that I need to get drunk and ramble at my friends for hours but... the condensed version is something like this. Really all the significant differences between the two versions (besides the ones which can be attributed to censorship and therefore aren’t worth discussing) are a side effect of the structure of how the story is told - there’s barely anything changed arbitrarily. Aside from having a cold opening, the drama sticks to a very linear version of the story, and I think for a TV show or film, that’s probably the best way to do it. We see everything, we get shocked and tricked and betrayed and surprised along with the characters, we feel the biggest impact at the climactic scenes having experienced all the build-up. The novel on the other hand is not only much more non-linear in WHEN we learn bits and pieces of information, but that information is also obfuscated under wei wuxian’s multiple layers of Unreliable Narratoritis, which are as follows: 1) difficulty remembering things because of personality/avoiding painful memories/actual memory loss, 2) No Homo Goggles still on, and 3) a wry sense of humor that makes the reader unsure of how much they can trust his attitude toward things, especially near the beginning. The experience of reading is a puzzle the reader has to mentally piece together through all of the above listed camouflage, and the puzzle itself is a three-sided mystery: One - How Bad of a guy was Wei WuXian really, and how exactly did all the bad stuff in his life go down; Two - wangxian epic pride & prejudice gambits; Three - political murder mystery. (I love stories like this btw... though I fully admit I’m glad I watched first this time bc it might have taken me a long time to tackle otherwise.) Because of this, where the drama wants to pull you in and submerge you in all the most potent emotional parts, the novel in direct contrast deliberately side-steps around these things and asks that you hurt yourself by filling in the blanks. In fact the more intense emotions and painful memories involved, whether it be his relationship with jiang yanli, his DEATH, the darkest days of war times etc, the more the novel evasively withholds details. I actually really like both styles of storytelling but each one is obviously way better suited to its medium. ANYWAY.... THATS BASICALLY WHERE MY BRAINS AT WHILE IM READING GAY SWORD WIZARD BOOKS

- The extras are so saturated with domestic married bliss that it’s a good thing I stopped taking pictures because I’d just take a picture of every page. this is too much for me to take... I did jump the gun a few times and read a few fanfics while I was still mid-read of the book (I tried to hold out but alas I am mortal) and at one point after finishing I was like “wow what fic was it in where lwj says something cute and wwx kisses him in public but they’re in the corner of the restaurant so no one really sees... OH NO WAIT that was actually in there.” and ... and that’s the LEAST OF IT... *stares into the distance* theyre married wow

- I ofc couldn’t help but see a few vague blogs beforehand so honestly I was braced for something like, wildly ooc for the sake of porn to happen in the extras... I definitely appreciate how the incense burner porn interludes could be uhhh a lot for many people and not my personal cup of tea in terms of smut however [here follows the words of a poisonous frog who has dwelt her whole life in the rainforests of BL] the concept is also surprisingly SWEET SDFLKJF like wwx sees lan wangji’s darkest mixed-up violent teenage fantasies and he’s just like aww babe you had a crush on me!! just... good for them

- I swear I’m not gonna rehash every cute married thing they do but wei wuxian grading papers in the tub........................rEALLY GOT ME

- I want to Draw - ok thats enough if I keep going I’ll just write “wei wuxian grading papers in the tub” seven more times probably

[vincent-frankenstein]

different anon, but heck yeah u should definitely infodump about lucid dreaming!! im really interested in it

aaaaa okay !!! uh hold onto ur ears yall im abt to talk em off lmao

so !! if u didnt know, lucid dreaming is basically when you become aware that you’re dreaming while youre in a dream. once you’re aware, you can take control of the dream in literally any way u want — u can do anything, go anywhere, meet anyone, all with the knowledge that nothing can hurt u and nothing can stop u

its a fascinating concept and, the feeling when u actually become lucid for the first time? its better than anything else in the world. its the most invigorating thing u can ever feel, i think. but actually becoming lucid is, ,, , , hm. a time and a half. 

putting the rest under a cut bc, hooooo boy this is gonna get long

first things first! you absolutely have to keep a dream journal. forgetting ur dreams is all well and good when ur not trying to accomplish anything in them, but if you become lucid and then wake up with only the vaguest memory of what you actually did? thats painful.

u can either go all out and get a fancy journal and write them down physically each morning, or u can do what i do and just download an app. i personally use the app Dream Catcher, which lets u tag ur dreams for easy organization. just get in the habit of writing down your dreams every morning, and if you really, really cant remember anything, just write down that you didnt dream anything that day. you’ll train your brain to remember your dreams better

secondly! reality checks! are absolutely imperative! the idea behind them is that, if you do something throughout the day that “proves” your reality, eventually you’ll start doing it in your dreams as well. for example, a common thing in my dreams is that i’ll have extra fingers, so i check my hands a lot throughout the day. 

it can’t just be a casual thing, too. if all you do is glance at your hands and b like “yo looks normal, we gucci”, then you’ll do the same in your dreams even if you have Weird hands. trust me, Dream-You is an idiot, you gotta be obvious with this stuff. take a few moments, look at your hands, count out your fingers, and really think to yourself “am i dreaming?”

try to get in the habit of doing that at least 15 times a day, and eventually you’ll start doing it in your dreams too. 

now, if you just stick with doing those two things — which is what i’m doing right now — your chances of becoming lucid will raise astronomically. even just those two tiny things can train your brain into realizing when the world around you is real and when it isnt. you can also attempt something really easy called a MILD — a mnemonic-induced-lucid-dream — which can help your chances even more without upping the effort 

whenever you go to bed, just take a few moments — even just five minutes can help — and just. lay there. and think to urself, again and again “the next scene will be a dream” or “i will become lucid in my dreams tonight” or something similar. get ur brain really focused on lucid dreaming right before you fall asleep and chances are, those Vibes will bleed over into ur dreams and you’ll become lucid

practice those three things consistently, every day, and pretty soon you’ll start becoming lucid. it takes time, though! dont be discouraged if you end up not becoming lucid for the first few weeks, or even months. sometimes your brain just needs a bit of extra training

that’s what ive been doing for the past year or so — bc damn do i Not have the energy to actually put in too much effort — but!!! there are other techniques!!

my personal favorite is the WBTB, or wake-back-to-bed method. with this technique, you set your alarm for roughly 5-6 hours after you go to sleep so you’ll wake up inside of one of your REM cycles, specifically one where your dreams will be the most vivid. dont do anything, just roll over and go right back to sleep. 

you can even use a MILD along with this, repeat whatever mantra u usually use as you fall back asleep. you should start to see hypnagogic imagery — blobs of color and vague shapes floating before your eyes. just observe them. at one point, they’ll start forming more familiar shapes, and places, and maybe even people — and there should be a moment, a snap, where you go from observing these images to actually being in the scene. you literally build the dream around yourself, its magical

i have read that WBTB can cause sleep paralysis, but i’ve never personally experienced any problems with it, aside from the fact that im always tired the next day.

another thing that could severely increase your chances of being lucid but also involves Effort — meditation. specifically mindfulness meditation. the act of bringing full awareness to your Existence, honing in on just Your body, Your mind, Your breath, will make you a more aware, mindful person, which in turn makes you more perceptive of dream signs. also, the ability to clear your mind and center yourself with a moment’s notice really comes in handy when the dream becomes destabilized and you have to take control

if ur an adhd lad like me — or neurodivergent in any way, really — the idea of meditation can be,,,, terrifying. honestly, i havent meditated in like six months now, because it really wasnt?? doing anything for me?? mostly because im absolutely incapable of sitting still for that long without Something to stimulate me

so! loophole! guided meditations. having someone else guide you through the process can make it a bit easier to focus. just find one that works for u on youtube. there are even guided meditations made specifically to prime ur brain for lucid dreaming!

so thats how you get lucid. now for when youre lucid

at first, lucid dreaming is going to be extremely hard. dreams fall apart very easily — if you get too overexcited or if a dream-character looks at you the wrong way or if you cant seem to do what you want to do, your lucidity can fade and you’ll either go back to being your normal dream self or you’ll wake up. dreams are volatile and hard to control, and even harder to master

thats where meditation comes in handy. youll have a much easier time controlling your dreams if you can look at the world around you, take a breath, center yourself, and know that you can control it. that being said, you can absolutely learn to take control without ever having meditated a day in your life. its all about your mindset!

you have to go into it with confidence. the key to controlling your dreams is knowing that they’re your dreams. you cant forget that you’re in control. thats why i feel like learning to lucid dream doubles as a lesson in self-confidence — you have to learn to trust yourself, trust that you can handle any scenario thrown at you and come out on top.

if you can achieve this mindset, you can literally do anything. ive had maybe 50 lucid dreams since i started learning about them — which… is honestly a really low amount, but. i havent really had the time/energy to really throw myself into it  as much as i want to. but just in those dreams, ive flown, ive shapeshifted, ive met my sides, ive teleported to vast, gorgeous lands and seen some of the most beautiful things ive ever seen. anything is possible in a lucid dream; thats why its so worth it to put in the effort

but when youre first starting out, itll be extremely hard to maintain that mindset. like i said, Dream-you is dumb as shit — you’ll forget youre dreaming, you’ll be unable to control anything, you’ll wake up before you manage to accomplish anything. more often than not, the dream will destabilize, which is Not Fun

if the dream starts to destabilize — basically, if things start going fuzzy or vague, if you suddenly cant see, if you can feel ur body in bed, basically anything that points towards you waking up — there are ways to fix it. literally just spinning around helps for some reason? spin around, fall down, run ur hands along anything u can find and feel the texture, or just demand that the dream stabilize itself. most of the time, thatll work

and if it doesnt, dont be discouraged. theres always another night to dream

so basically: start a dream journal, do reality checks, mmmmaybe meditate if youre up for it, and your dreams will become like. at least 10x more interesting. trust me, try flying: its literally the best feeling in the entire world

its just !!! such a huge, incredible thing, and its so fascinating to learn about too. all the different ways you can train your brain, all the different things you can do, all the studies done on the subject. i suggest reading about Steven LaBerge or keith hearne. hearne led the study that proved lucid dreaming existed in the first place! he got a lucid dreamer to signal to him that he was conscious while asleep using REM (rapid-eye movement), because lucid dreaming happens during the REM state. also, robert waggoner’s book Gateway to the Inner Self is really fascinating too!

hm wow i really went ham here lmao

thanku for giving me a chance to infodump im very happy rn

[superemeralds]

ive had my own idea for a sonic movie that would still be live action and a generic child-friendly action-comedy just like the “real” sonic movie is (presumably) gonna be

IN SHORT!

The main character that makes a duo with sonic for the majority of the movie is a young girl named June.

The overall plot is very similar to sonic x, but altered to fit the time span of the usual one and a half hours movie length in movies like that.

detailed description, explanation of the pictures and character info under the cut!

Through a mal-induced chaos control eggman and sonics friends get transported into the real world. this time space rift causes some really weird stuff to happen and June gets seperated from her dad, who was just on his way to bring her to school.

at first she thinks its cool to meet a talking blue hedgehog in a really pretty nature-y place and skip school to play with him, but soon they notice that they are not alone. Eggmans robots got transported to our world too! June gets captured because she is seen with sonic and therefore identified as a threat by eggmans robots! Sonic runs after her towards what seems to be eggmans base.

meanwhile the dad was transported to a really high place, whihc is bad cos he’s  got fear of heights. Luckily tails and knuckles appear and offer to help him down

both teams start looking for eachother, but get interrupted by various obstacles. June and Sonic get hold off by eggmans schemes, while Dad and Sonics friends stumble upon amy, who just escaped a military research facility. she hoped that cream would be with the others, but it seemed that they had to go back and save her. the Dad used to be a hobby boxer, but since he’s a lawyer he doesn’t really do that much anymore. it surely helped him when taking out those government officials. its funny how a lawyer breaks the law, right? there’s many jokes on that and his character development goes from strict father figure that doesnt allow fun and insists on obeying the law to a wild and free man who does what’s right, even if  he has to break rules. (also he screams “sorry” every time he KOs someone because hes that kinda guy)

June and sonic manage to infiltrate the egg carrier that was transported into our world and set it to crash and render all his stuff useless!

However, the ship is on course for the city which they didnt realize until it started losing height. eggman pretends that he can still stop this if the people are willing to make him their unquestionable ruler, but sonic and june are determined to stop the ship themselves. sonic keeps eggman busy while June is in the command center trying to find a way to make the ship change course and go crash in the ocean.

in the end everything is exploding and falling apart and eggman is fleeing, June managed to change the ships course and runs up to sonic telling him he needs to run, sonic says that she doesnt have to tell him twice and they go.

sonic gets blown to the side by an explosion and trips over debris, making his knee bleed a little (u cant see blood bc this is kid friendly hes just hurt like theres dirt or smth lol) and he tells june to run and not worry, but she comes back and lifts him on her back and is determined to run as fast as she can to get outside

when she reaches a door she screams because she’s scared. they are close to the ground, but not close enoguh to make it alive if she jumped... then sonic hugs her from behind and says “jump on my command” and shes like. no way. but he says “trust me we’re not gonna get hurt if we hit water” and shes like “but i cant swim that well” sonic chuckles “me neither” and then she gets the memo and is all determined and ready and they make it and its magical

they might also have a scene thats a nudge to 06 where sonic is very Positive and gives good life advice.

while everything seems like its perfect eggman is starting plan B of his conquer the others were all alarmed by the crashing egg carrier and therefore came speeding in the modified car tails rebuild for Dad (it can turn into a fucken plane. Dad and June are finally reunited and he thanks sonic for watching after her, and sonics like nah ur daughter totally watched after me shes a hero.

and then they work together to stop eggmans final boss robot and save the city.

at some point they all found chaos emeralds somewhere. and sonic can turn super to finish eggman off. yeah that sounds cool.

that also makes him and the others fade back into their own dimension, bc hes Got That Power

in the end its just him, June and Dad iin midst of a park in the city with debris and shit and June is like. sonic dont go we jsut became friends

and sonics like. treasure the memories you make and live life to the fullest bc u only got this one shot and u gotta make the best of it. n her dad is all agreeing and shakes his hand and is like. thanks sonic

and June hugs him and cries but smiles and sonic says nice smile bc im kinda getting emotional writing this all out and then he disappears in a flash of light and in that moment it cuts to the mom on the side of the park in her car with the window down going “what the-” and credits roll

thanks for reading

okay i know most of this was really silly and unfinished but granted i was making this all up as i went on and on about this and like. yea. i brainstormed this in like. 2 horus time completely from scratch, only using sonic X as basis for the plot and the humor of popular and successful action comedies as inspiration for the tone of the movie

as for the characters i just thoguht a carefree girl thats tired of being stuffed into a mold meeting sonic and learning that its okay to be herself and do what u think is right, learning that kindness really is the most powerful thing on earth and that friendships are precious??? hell fucking yeah!

also child character is more relateable than a fucking cop. kids will be able to relate to June, while adults (long time fans most of all) will be able to see their past self in her.

as for the dad, a lot of adults might see themselves in this dad role who just wants the best for his  kid, while being stuck in a boring job that doesnt really fulfil them, but pays the bills and the lifestyle the family has.

I also really wanted characters that you have not seen before. Whenever i see a black dad he has a shaved head and thats kinda boring its just. basic. nothing agianst dads with shaved heads but why is Every Single(black) Dad Bald/Buzzcut? so i gave him dreads because why not? looks cool when he does action shit. whoosh whoosh

i knew i wanted a kid and i knew i wanted a girl. im really fond of puffy pigtails and i decided to go with a black girl just because! it was the very first thing that came to my mind when i was looking for an adventurous girl that wants to go on adventures with a blue talking hedgehog.

plus loving black dads that lov their girls rly rly need rep u_u

as for sonics design, i tried to compromise with the movie’s need for a more realistic sonic by making him overall fluffier to hint at texture, but keeping his core design and proportions.

the same goes for all the other characters.

I’m still very thinking emoji about eggman, I think it would be best to have him be either played by a fat person. Like Really Fat Person to resemble his original design (hes fat okay who cares abt slanky legs) or have him be CGI/partially CGI due to the fact that he’s from another dimension.

and uh. that’s all i have to say for now! it’s 1am and i should get to bed!

[artificialqueens]

you learn to need the things that stop you dreaming (biadore) - dylann

Texting Bianca that she has to crash at her place, the ride there, showing up at Bianca’s front door in full drag and carrying a corner store bottle of white wine all sound like things Adore would do. She doesn’t quite remember doing any of them but… it sounds about right.

A/N: hell is a quiet apartment in the middle of the night and all the things that never get said. welcome to all of that, and a side-order of mutual pining, exhaustion and people who have absolutely no concept of self care.

i use drag names for both; he/him for bianca and she/her for adore.

the title is from a song by passenger.

shoutouts to dandee and goneawaygirl for screaming at me and pointing out my typos xo

content warnings for implied drinking and maybe some drug use, all the perks of bad hangovers, so much pining

Adore wakes up because there’s noise. It’s low and steady and for a while, it makes her dream of trains, and then persists until the trains dissolve and there’s only darkness, and then she’s awake.

Her head is pounding and the bed she’s woken up in is cold, and it takes one blind fling of her arm to confirm that she’s also alone. The noise is still happening and now that Adore’s aware of the headache, it’s somehow even worse. She groans and pushes herself up to sit, legs dangling off the edge of the bed as she pulls the covers up around her shoulders.

Under her feet, the floor is smooth, cool hardwood. She blinks a few times until the shadows of the room start twisting into shapes as she adjusts to darkness. It must be really late — there’s a window at the other end of the room, and the blinds are half-cracked, and yet barely any light filters in at all. It’s almost unsettlingly dark. In the city — any city — there’s always some light, a bit of street noise—

This room is dark. The only noise is the constant train-like clatter filtering in through the walls.

Adore thinks to herself that if this were a movie, this is where the music would get low, subdued and terrifying, as if the shadows could morph into the monster that jumps out and swallows her whole any second now. And yet the room stays mercifully still and too quiet — no monster at all in sight — so when Adore feels awake and steady enough to move, she gets up to her feet and heads out into the hallway, hands pressed to her chest and clutching the heavy covers like a cape. The ceaseless noise has faded into the back of her head, the way sounds tend to disappear when the mind accepts them and they melt from annoyance to being forgotten in the background. Still, it’s louder in the hallway and Adore follows it down the hall.

The door to the room at the other end isn’t quite closed; there’s warm light bleeding out under it and illuminating the hardwood in hues of brown and bronze-like orange, just to remind Adore that the world exists past the colorless darkness of the apartment. She pushes the door open just a little bit further, and holds her breath as if that would prevent it from creaking.

The light is coming from a desk lamp that’s perched on a table in one corner of the room, and at the table, with his back to the door, Bianca is bent over his sewing machine, glittering red fabric pooling around him as he works.

Unnoticed, Adore leans against the doorframe and watches him for a moment, the edges of the scene dark and blurry like an old film through the lens of her sleep-heavy eyelashes. The back of Bianca’s head is a mess of pillow-crushed short hair, and his neck curves uncomfortably down as he leans forward and bows his head to get a closer look at some detail. The desk lamp casts its light at him from an angle which leaves him in half-shadow from where Adore is standing, his slim shoulders rimmed in a gold outline which makes her think that if she could see his aura — like, literally, actually see it — it’d probably look exactly the same.

When Adore can no longer bear the vague guilt from sneaking in and watching, unannounced, she speaks up softly, in a sleepy lilt, and leads with a joke because anything else would feel off.

“Aren’t you, like, rich enough to pay other people to do this shit for you?”

Bianca doesn’t quite flinch at her voice but he goes very still for a fraction of a second and then picks up his sewing again as he answers distractedly,

“I started a sweatshop, actually, but my workers unionized—“

“Or are you just makin’ sure your geriatric old man hands still work?” Adore prods, walking over to hover by the desk, right where she knows she’s in his line of vision.

Bianca takes a breath to answer, but holds it in a moment too long and shrugs instead,

“Something like that,” and then, immediately, “How the fuck are you even awake right now?”

The question gets Adore to focus on herself for a moment, and suddenly she’s once again all too aware of her headache, her dry mouth, the vague nausea twisting up her gut. Texting Bianca that she has to crash at her place, the ride there, showing up at Bianca’s front door in full drag and carrying a corner store bottle of white wine all sound like things Adore would do. She doesn’t quite remember doing any of them but… it sounds about right.

“Not by choice,” she shrugs and makes a show out of glaring at the sewing machine. Bianca makes just as much of a show ignoring her and carrying on his work instead.

“I was gonna crash with a friend but she bailed on me,” Adore starts, almost apologetically, as she leans with her back against the wall next to the table.

“Yeah. You told me at least three times.”

“—and I could’ve texted someone else, I guess, but…”

“You knew I was home and wanted to see me anyway, yeah,” Bianca’s voice is halfway to an impression of Adore but just a little too tight to really sound the way he usually does when he’s joking. Adore’s head pounds with each clack of the machine and she lets out a long groan as she slides down the wall to sit on the floor. The surface is too cool against her bare skin, so she pulls her knees up to her chest and wraps herself up in the covers she’d brought, until it’s just her head peeking out, hair falling out of the remnants of her bun to frame her face.

Bianca finishes a stitch and glances down at her, and between the silence as the machine stops and his eyes on her, Adore feels like she’s suddenly under a spotlight. When she looks up to meet his eyes, he’s looking at her in that Bianca way, measuring without judgement, just slightly exasperated but light, all of his annoyance laced with a perfect dose of amusement. He also looks tired.

He looks exhausted in a way that is beyond being fixable with a good night’s sleep.

Adore hasn’t been there for more than a few hours so she can’t be the reason for the tight set of his jaw, the shadows under his eyes, the slightest downward turn of his lips. She takes it all in silently and she must be crashing because what was vague unease minutes ago is morphing into a heavy anxiety which settles at the bottom of her ribs and pulls her down. Adore dreads to think about what it’ll feel like when she’s sober, fully sober, and irritable and hungover in the morning.

“You’ll give yourself wrinkles,” Bianca half-scolds and Adore feels her face drop into neutrality. She hadn’t even realized she was frowning. “And I ain’t paying for your facelifts,”

Bianca adds, just slightly louder, sharper, three quarters of the way to his character voice but not quite there. It’s the not-quite-thereness that unsettles Adore. Bianca is teetering between whatever is weighing him down and constant attempts to return to his usual self, and it’s like watching an underrehearsed high wire act that’s half a second away from disaster.

“Bea—“ Adore starts, carefully, and when Bianca looks away and picks his work back up as a clear sign that he doesn’t want to talk, she shrugs and offers instead, “I can pay for my own facelifts, thank you very much.”

Bianca almost laughs — his shoulders twitch up, which feels like a victory — and then he turns all of his attention to the unfinished garment under his hands. Adore settles in her cocoon on the floor and resolves to ignore the way the sound of the machine feels like drills working their way into her temples and splitting her head open. It is, realistically, a small price to pay in exchange for being in Bianca’s company. It’s been too many months since the last time they’d hung out, and if that’s the way it has to happen tonight, then Adore’s willing to accept the side effects.

Adore’s head swims and her thoughts blur into vagueness for a while but she doesn’t quite drift off. She listens to Bianca work with her eyes mostly closed, breathes evenly to keep the nausea at bay, tightens the covers around her body when she begins to shake.

Bianca, for his part, doesn’t seem to mind her company but he’s not actively acknowledging it either, which is okay. They have learned a long time ago how to share a space in silence, and falling into that rhythm after so many months apart is more grounding than conversation.

Eventually, Bianca swears and the machine stops and it jolts Adore away from her half-sleep.

“What’s wrong?” she asks, shifting to sit up on her knees so she can look at the table, even though there’s no way she’d be able to help at all.

“Fucking— nothing. The fucking needle broke,” Bianca shrugs and he’s already twisting the broken needle off, still swearing under his breath as he sets off to replace it. It’s clear in the way he moves that this is, usually, the kind of issue that would get settled within seconds without ever being a cause for concern. Right now, though, it speaks to something bigger and is enough to set him off, and Adore wants to ask so many questions and offer all of her help, but it feels like prodding at something that possibly doesn’t belong to her and she doesn’t know how to begin.

Bianca changes the needle and then the machine is clattering away again, and Adore settles down with her head nearly resting on Bianca’s thigh. His leg twitches in response and he looks down at her in a way that would be quizzical if he didn’t know her as well as he does. An Adore who’s coming down and sobering up will always be cat-like, desperate for contact, all stray hands and an open invitation to be touched, regardless of the circumstances. Tonight doesn’t have to be, and isn’t, any different.

“What are you making?” Adore asks, using that one second to catch his eyes. That’s her checking in, cracking the door open for a conversation that doesn’t have to be heavy if Bianca doesn’t want it to be: he can just go on and on about fabrics and construction and his ideas, and Adore would listen, and they could feasibly pretend that the air in his workroom isn’t thick with unvoiced anxieties and just enough anger to truly throw any carefully built semblance of calm off balance.

“I don’t know. I mean—It’s a dress. I don’t know why I’m making it, though, it’s not like I’ll ever wear it—“

“I’ll wear it.”

Bianca scoffs at that and Adore isn’t about to let on that it actually stings a little. Instead, she sits up on her knees, her covers-cape slipping off her shoulders, and repeats insistently,

“I would. I’d wear it.”

Bianca arches his brows as he stares down at the garment. It’s a heavy, sparkling red fabric, it will end up becoming the kind of gown Bianca looks breathtaking in, and Adore has never worn. Somehow, his eyes fixed on the unfinished dress are enough to convey all of that.

“I’d wear it if you made it for me,” Adore adds earnestly.

There’s a moment of complete silence, save for the steady hum of the machine when it’s on but not in use, and then Bianca exhales a sigh, his shoulders shuddering with it. It must be the way light hits his body — his frame looks even thinner than usual, and Adore imagines she’d feel bone if she’d reach out and press her fingertips against his back.

“Bianca, what’s wrong?”

He must’ve expected the question, must’ve anticipated it since the second she walked in, because his answer comes swift and immediate, with a decisive shake of his head,

“You’ve got enough on your plate, you don’t wanna know.”

Adore hardens a little, resists the urge to be sharp when she argues, and says quietly, “I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t wanna know.” When Bianca doesn’t answer, she pushes, “I showed up at your house and you let me crash in your bed, B, the least I can do is listen… You know I’m a good problem-solver.”

“Who told you that?”

Bianca is, as usual, lightning fast and biting in that terrifying way that’s been making Adore’s head spin since the very first time they’d spoken, and she doesn’t have the time to deal with the way it makes her something in her ribs twist just a little, just as a reminder that it’s still there and is probably never going away.

“Fine,” she relents instead. “Maybe not a solver. But I can listen?”

“Honestly, not much to hear,” Bianca shrugs. The machine picks up again and he redirects his attention as he speaks over it. “This is what most nights look like when I’m home, actually. Some— variation of this. Who the fuck knows. Sleep is for the weak or whatever.”

“You don’t sleep?”

Adore’s voice drops to very gentle concern, in a whisper, because she’s been trusted with a confession and her heart twists with the weight of it. It’s messed up that she’s grateful for the trust; she shouldn’t be happy that Bianca is letting her in when it’s happening like this, when Bianca’s quiet turmoil should be so much more important than her own selfish reasons to consider herself lucky.

Bianca, in turn, shrugs and motions vaguely around the room. The space is cluttered with most everything that makes Bianca Del Rio look the way she does, floor-to-ceiling shelves, too many drawers, racks upon racks of garments, brocades and velvets and satins bleeding out into the space from each crevice. It’s breathtaking, almost, to look around and realize that one room can hold so much stuff - so many gorgeous things - and that it’s Roy with his painfully arched back at his sewing machine in the corner who’s behind all of it.

Not literally, of course. Not quite. And yet, Adore can’t help wondering how many of the gowns that litter the space are the product of his sleeplessness, she wonders if she’d ever complimented one of them, wonders how many of Bianca’s “I made this myself ‘cause I can’t trust any other bitch not to fuck it up” looks have come from nights like this.

She imagines that some nights, it’d be Bianca with a can of Elnett and a rattail comb, teasing out his anxieties into a wig pinned to a foam head, or meticulously detangling costume jewels and organizing them into the plastic drawers that line half a wall, for hours on end with nothing but his thoughts for company.

“Bea—“

“Please. Really. I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Adore swallows but nods, pushing herself to her feet. She knows a thing or two about not wanting to talk, about the way her throat sometimes feels like it’d close up and collapse on itself if she tried to, about when to stop prodding and just offer comfort instead.

“Not now?” she offers lightly, because she needs Bianca to know that when he’s ready, she’ll still be there in her bad problem-solver, good listener glory. He concedes with a nod and reaches to pick up the sewing again but his hands falter when he touches the fabric and he huffs out a sigh, almost annoyed at himself.

Adore rests her hands on his shoulders and squeezes a little, and hates the way he shifts into the touch the moment it happens as if the smallest contact is what can keep him from tipping over some edge tonight. Adore’s head hurts for him because she understands, but it also hurts for herself because she’s still probably not even sober and this is nearly too much, and she feels too helpless at the realization that she can only offer some comfort and not much else.

Under her careful, steadying grip, Bianca shivers again so she reaches down quickly and grabs the covers from the floor, wordlessly wrapping them around his shoulders the way she’d glided across his apartment like a child playing royalty, cape-like. Bianca sighs and grips the covers from underneath, holding them to his chest.

“You should come to bed,” Adore offers tentatively, actively compartmentalizing the way the words could sound. That’s an issue for another time, for a night where she’s far away from him and not in the present danger of being too close and too vulnerable in that late night way which feels so far removed from the rest of the world. She can’t think about any of it, not right now. “This stuff will still be here in the morning.”

Bianca exhales another very quiet sigh, and Adore watches as he touches the garment, fingertips so light that it doesn’t move at all. His fingers flex on the fabric, contemplative, and then he reaches to the back of the machine and flips the little light that illuminates the needle off.

“Great,” Adore encourages softly, giving his arm a light pat as she takes it upon herself to turn the desk lamp off. Her eyes retain the glimmer of the dress a second longer and she feels its brightness exploding between the walls of her skull as the room fades to darkness.

Bianca gets up and his chair slides across the hardwood with a scratch, making Adore’s skin crawl. She feels the slightest hint of guilt at her own self-induced irritability, which frankly isn’t anything Bianca should have to deal with right now, so she sucks it up and bites her lip and follows him out into the hallway.

There’s really no debate to be had. Adore isn’t about to pretend that she’s even considered offering to crash on his couch. Instead, she walks ahead of him toward his bedroom, absently brushing her hand across the small of his back in a guiding gesture as she rushes forward.

“Come on. Bedtime,” she announces once they’re in the bedroom, and Bianca, terrifyingly, complies. He heads straight for the bed and drops the covers down from his shoulders without saying anything. Adore sits down with her back against the headboard and watches him — just a silhouette in the dark room — pull his sweatpants off and change into another t-shirt.

“Have you had enough water?” he asks suddenly, and Adore can feel more than see his eyes on her as he settles down on the other side of the bed, kicking the covers into a pile at his feet instead of pulling them up. “You’re gonna feel like shit tomorrow but you might as well be hydrated—“

“Bea,” Adore interrupts, shaking her head. I already feel like shit, she thinks and doesn’t say. “I’m fine. You don’t have to— I’m taking care of you right now.”

Bianca makes a noise that may be a suppressed laugh or a scoff, Adore doesn’t want to know which, and then nods to himself, shifting to curl up onto his side with his back to her.

He doesn’t say goodnight. Adore watches as his breathing slows and her eyes adjust to the darkness just enough that she can study the outline of his back, the way his shoulders seem to soften and drop more than any time when he’s awake as he drifts off.

She doesn’t move for a while. A few minutes, maybe, or perhaps an hour. It’s too late for time to really matter, and she’s worlds away from the nearest human, her chest tight with an uneasy cocktail of nausea and want and helplessness.

Eventually, when it gets too hard to keep her eyes open, Adore shifts and lies down on her back and only hesitates for a second before rolling over to face the wall that Bianca’s facing. The back of his head is a dark blur that covers most of what she can see, and her chest twists as she spends a moment looking at his sleep-flattened hair.

Then her eyes can no longer stay open, and she’s halfway to sleep when she whispers,

“Night, Bea,” into the overwhelming silence of the room.

It takes a minute — or more, again, time stretching out in that late night way, but then Bianca shifts, moves closer with an air of decisiveness even as his breathing remains steady and deep, as though he’s been asleep for a while.

Adore’s too full of unnameable things to resist.

She drapes an arm over the dip in his waist where he’s curled up, exhales a soft sigh and knows it must hit the back of his neck. Bianca shifts into the weight of her arm and settles there, and says nothing for long enough that Adore doesn’t notice when she stops thinking and drifts off.

**

Adore awakes to a pounding headache and a dry mouth, and she has to dash toward the bathroom before she can register or overthink the fact that she never pulled away from where she’d crashed.

When she tiptoes back into the room, pale and shaky but freshly showered and wrapped in one of his towels, Bianca is still curled up in the middle of the bed, and he looks younger and calmer in his sleep.

Outside the window, through the half-open blinds, the sun is approaching noon.

[the-rxven-king]

44 and 45 for the writer asks?

thank you for asking these!

44. do you write linear or do you write future scenes if you feel like it?

linear linear linear linear i literally cannot skip around i cannot do it i wish i could but even the mere thought makes it feel like im dying i have to do things in order or not at all when it comes to writing which is really fucking weird because im not organized in like any other situation

45. share the synopsis of a story you work on that you haven’t published yet

a synopsis??? uuuhhh shit ok... 

so im not good at making titles for things so at the moment its called broken wings but its something original (?) im working on that i hope to one day in my life finish... its a fantasy story because what else would i write??? 

so basically theres a race of people with wings called the avem (bird in latin) and almost all of them have wings based on real birds (some are not, which make them rare). this race is split into kingdoms based on the climates in which each of these people live in - forest, desert, rainforest, arctic, wetlands, grasslands. each kingdom is ruled by a king or queen (most of the time a queen) and then everyone crowns a high king/queen to control all the kingdoms and keep the peace. humans that see the avem thought they were angels, which is where they got the concept. 

for ten years, a disease of unknown origin, called shrill by the avem, has broken out into the kingdoms. what it does is it causes you to turn into a monster of sorts. it kills some of your organs and breaks them down to shove them closer together and make room for new ones which causes the main symptom to be coughing up blood as thats what the disease breaks the material into and its only way of disposing of it. the feathers will fall off their wings as leathery skin pushes them out of the way and for a span of between 1 to 3 months the avem will be unable to fly because they dont have enough feathers to hold them up and there isnt enough skin for that either. the skin will basically stick to bones as the body starts decomposing, leaving teeth, which sharpen to points, fully exposed, theyll lose their ears, nose, anything made of cartilage, as well as eyes and everything else will like i said stick to bone. the avem will turn into what they called because of the disease a Shrill, which will attack avem on sight because their brain will also eventually deteriorate. this is so painful, however, that its common for shrill to have lots of cuts all over their body bleeding because they scratched them as they tried to stop the pain by numbing it with more

the prince of the forest kingdom, whose name is selen, usually sneaks out every once in a while to meet with the prince of the desert kingdom, named dakari. there comes a point where selen starts to get overly tired and gets intense pain, and dakari worries that it might be shrill. selen pushes the thought away because his father was the first victim of shrill, or so he was told. he never really knows for sure. dakari keeps worrying about it but doesnt press it. he is not without his own issues tho but he puts them at the back of his mind and worries about selen more. theyre best friends after all why wouldnt he worry? after parting ways and going home, selen wakes up in the middle of the night and finds that he has the main symptoms of shrill, losing feathers and coughing up blood, and he keeps them to himself. dakari ends up showing up at his castle one day and requests to speak with him alone, which his mother, the queen, allows. he admits to selen that his mother is trying to force him into marriage, and that he doesnt know the woman she chose for him and he doesnt want to get married. he asks selen to leave with him, as he doesnt want to go alone and he cares about selen. after a big debate back and forth, selen agrees to leave with him, but this means that it doesnt take dakari long to find out that selen has shrill. dakari, being who he is, immediately decides that them leaving is no longer about him and that theyre going to help selen in any way they can, and while selen doesnt want that, dakari insists. the story kind of goes from there

it still needs a lot of work but thats the concept im going off of at the moment and that wasnt short im sorry i rambled a bit 

[iwishnomore]

there are mostly civilians in the camp people and kids that wouldnt be able to defend themselves well so V gets put there with a handful people to keep an eye out for them and

the camp gets in trouble with some other grp that take their supplies away before they can pick them up

so these people seem to have their base close to that camp and V being V wants to investigate and see if these guys are just talking big or if they really can take the camp out like they say if the camp doesnt pay to get THEIR OWN STUFF back sneaking her way to those people its not only clear that these guys are full of shit- but they also have beef with each other in their own little gangster grp

she witnesses how they basically ruin themselves drinking, fighting and taking their compadres out so problem solved itself u may think as V suprise hits the last guy standing who is just happy he has a lot of shit to live off of

so while she checks how much of the supplies these greasy guys had their hands on already she gets surprised by a RANDOM LOL patrol of aliens (what kawa u drunk go home)

seems those guys had their stuff a little too close to a checkpoint and the noise they made when they killed each other resulted in alien troops coming to check what the shit is going on

So far, V’s day is a rollercoaster of ups and downs she gets wounded on her leg but manages to take out 2 out of 3 aliens

hunter shows up and oh boi does she like him but also she does not trust him bc the last time he just dissappeared after she helped him and he helped her and now she thinks that he might just go ahead and kill her rollercoaster down so to speak he shoots the last alien saying something along the lines of ‘this one I am taking care of myself~’ meaning her, obv and she thinks its her last seconds lol so while she scrambles backwards and he casually walks towards her ANOTHER PERSON SHOWS UP

so in case u cant already tell from my rambling: ASSASSIN shows up- turns out hunter has ignored the elders call and she came to check up on her annoying brother lol he reacts quickly, making sure she doesnt notice V V IS HELLA CONFUSED BUT WHY NOT while they 'talk things out’ (rather get onto each others throat pretty much immediately) she takes her leave slowly and bleeding bc of that darn wound on her leg she tries to stop the bleeding and cover her tracks

not trusting her own ability and fearing that she might get followed anyways once her absence at the scene is noticed she avoids going straight to the camp doing all the indiana jones things she even wades thru a friggin river ….that rollercoaster keeps spiraling down eh?

tired, scared, bleeding and now also soaking wet and without her jacket bc thats what she used to get rid of the blood that might drip from her leg, pants,shoes whatevs and the supplies still are theoretically lost meh so she ends up exhausted somewhere in the woods like at this point V doesnt even care? she’s gonna do something …right after she rested her eyes for a minute mind u u.u bad idea

no amount of wading thru water and trying not to bleed everywhere helped and who shows up with the most satisfied shit eating grin under the sun? aye u might have guessed it hunter wastes no time telling her all the things she did wrong while funnily enough he also without explanation or anything he just inspects her wound and does some funny psi stuff this rollercoaster is confusing V is angry, she is pissed at herself and him of course- scolding her and gloating abt how she messed up but she is also confused af werent they done with helping? shoudltn he be just …skinning her alive or some shit since thats what they say he did to some people or maybe roast her

on a kebab stick but there he is

numbing the pain in her leg somehow and deciding that she needs to get somewhere else if she had more energy she might have tried to resist

but as things are nothing stops him when he picks her up (not elegantly in the least i might mention) and starts off to who knows where

so however much time passes V has no idea but it feels like not more than 5 minutes have gone by….then again…who knows…she might have fallen unconscious somewhere along the way

she gets plopped down and its soft wherever this is it looks better than anything she knows

she is so dumbfounded by her surroundings she doesnt even talk back at first when he tells her to get out of the wet clothes

she’s in the middle of stripping down all the while still oggling the room with the sleek surfaces and the outrageously comfy looking bed…how dare they…whoever owns this place should get beaten with a stick

so before her undies fall she snaps out of her thoughts and wants to yell at him Buuuut he is nowhere to be sen seen* ok so off with the undies

V wraps herself in a blanket and (WHY IS IT SO SOFT HOW DARE THEY)

V is still taking in the room wrapped in that blanket, her clothes sprawled over a now-not-pristine-white-anymore chair this room looks pretty but empty like someone had planned to live here

its pretty and empty and although the matress she sits on is insultingly cozy and the blanket a dream come true….its still cold and V has to make a concious effort to stop her teeth from chattering where the fuck did 'he’ go tho for a moment V imagines complete strangers entering the room to see a freezing V sitting on their bed and wrapped in their blanket

thats funny almost the whole situation is ridiculous

V is ready to walk back to that chair and wring herself into those wet clothes again

leaving this place and probably dying of hypothermia outside sounds just as bad as sitting here and waiting for kingdom come this is way too similar to the last time she was stranded with this guy speaking of which maybe he already left

with her bare feet she slowly tip taps thru the room, checking windows and closets and making her way to the only door in sight the second her fingers make contact with the handle the door opens

'gotcha. nessing with the doors again.’ messing* (lol jk) no lights for now he says but the place will warm up eventually theres electricity

he somewhat inores her °_° face and walks past her and she cringes when she realizes he goes straight to her stuff V almost trips over herself to make sure he cant get a hold of anything what are you doing making sure these will dry- or would you rather have them stay wet I dont mind you like this [insert rude smile here] so the clothes get taken care of

its still cold V is still confused by his charitable behaviour wtf is he thinking wtf is SHE thinking she completely forgot abt the whole 'he is gonna kill me’ story so, with newly found waryness she starts asking questions why help me why follow me why not kill me

whose place is this we gotta remember last time they met was when she helped him and he taunted her

and she bluntly spat out that she doesnt know why she does it but whats so wrong with that- maybe she just cant help it- maybe its not her fault she likes this guy so he pulls up a chair in front of her, sits down on it, his arms on the back of it whats so wrong with that i cant help it- its your fault

nothing else he grins he is fucking crazy and V isnt so sure but it almost felt like he could have said he liked her she huffs

i could have killed you countless times you snuck right thru those wannabes today like it was nothing but you wouldnt do that to me (ah so he had watched her? hello stalker how are u today) just like u cant hide your tracks or take care of yourself

her motions at her- probably talking abt her leg which is not helaed just not hurting bad very bad in fact bed and blanket have a nice new decal in rusty red by now (I SHOULD GET BETTER AT SHIT LLIKE THIS BUT WHATEVS)

'so you dont kill me you rather lecture me abt how unable i am to stay alive by myself?’ V is showing her best side today but oh well

maybe its the rollercoaster maybe its the whole situation

so V is ready to argue but hunter isnt in the mood lol he rather laughs at how its so easy to get her riled up

and he gets over to her mentioning something about her big ego in such a tiny body no wonder she got in trouble before he gets uncomfortably close but only to take care of her leg AGAIN

this time she struggles because 1 she is shamefully aware of her nudity under that blanket 2 he has zero problems pushing her from left to right as if she was a doll not funny so he manages to take care of the wound (i will just claim that he can do it with psi so ….pls dont slaughter me) and it only leaves a thick line of fresh pink skin on her leg- no wound but that pink skin is not nearly as pink as her face would be…if it wasnt so cold

seems the warmth he spoke abt earlier is still not coming around?

he had helped her with warmth before so why not do it again only this time she has no clothes and if he hasnt seen her blue lips from the cold he has definitely felt how icy her leg still was so off goes the armor

after the armor drops his hood drops he even takes off that sleeveless shirt

okay now Vs face definitely gets SOME shades pinker and not bc she is suddenly feeling less cold 'what the hell are u doing she scoots as far back on the bed as possible but OH MAN DOES SHE STARE

this guy is toned no weird alien anatomy apart from a slight difference in proportions but man lean and toned no wonder he picked her up like an acorn or a feather or whatever else V can come up with as a comparison 'so shy all of a sudden’ its true

V is staring with big eyes but not a single word comes out of her mouth as he comes closer he is not completely unclothed and its not like she hasnt seen men before but its different when u have to admit that u wanted to see something…and then like it too much when u do although u really neither shouldnt want to see it nor like it should/shouldnt whatever V knows this is wrong on more than one level

last time he’d had the blanket and she had bedgrudgingly come to him this time she has the blanket

and she wishes she could hide in it

she tenses up as his chest touches her cheek and his arms pull her close. he says something about deja vu and her being like a stray kitten but V doesnt listen last time his clothes had been like a shield between them this time her cheek presses against his skin

so they are, once again, in this position

V finds herself relax after a while bc feeling him like this and having the scent of his skin in her nose is getting her drowsy her head is filled with clouds and there is this incredibly need to nuzzle into him how to resist this is the most cruel seven minutes in heaven she has ever taken part in normally this would feel like the moment to do all the things and her heartbeat is saying just that nuzzle deeper breathe in this scent some more feel his skin

put your arms around this man instead she sits there like a marble statue but if she brushes her cheek against his skin just a little bit he wont notice right? he wont notice if she inhales a tiny bit longer than neccessary right?

would he notice if she moved a little, not much, just to feel his warmth some more and to lean into this not-really-embrace some more? shifting carefully and only a little was the plan

but when she feels his hands on her back move as well —her body moves as if on its own and she stretches and shifts enough to bury her face in the nape of his neck. …good job V. Very subtle she can barely hold back from sighing

it doesnt matter tho bc as if some silent agreement between them took place right as her fingertip gingerly move across his collarbone and to his jawilne one of his hands finds the back of her neck and guides her u.u and it happens no taunting no arguing no words at all

just warmth and silence and locked lips in a kiss

one kiss becomes two kisses three four each one greedier than the one before

bodys pressing against each other as if trying to melt into each other, hands roaming and breathless sighs gasping for air

V’s arms are wrapped around his neck, the blanket she was holding onto forgotten, her mind a mess, filled with the haze of want and a deep longing for his touch skin aginast skin

he is either gifted with natural talent or simply knows how to kiss and touch his hands are big and warm and they hold her tightly one more kiss they pause theres maybe 5milimeters between them none of them willing to let go

catching their breath

V feels a simmering ache between her thighs…and his arousal…well its obvious this is wrong no more she thinks but hesitantly places yet another kiss on his lips to betray her own thoughts there is not a hint of his usual smug smile on his lips the playful shimmer in his eyes she has seen so often is nowhere to be found

he is thinking

he bites back words as she kisses him again a chaste kiss on the lips and his fingertips gently caress the back of her head as he kisses back

with her hand against his chest she can feel that his heart is hammering just as fast as hers

He leans forward pushing V onto her back and into the heap of pillows behind her

with the blanket barely covering her nether regions she lies there, cheeks flushed and her hands timidly pulling back to cover herself. He is towering over her. V had almost forgotten how tall he is while kissing him- every touch had felt so natural so right. This view is a little intimidating to her….and exciting as well. The look on her face brings the smile back on his lips

he sits up, now kneeling between her legs. 'Now you’ve done it…’ he trails his hand over her healed thigh, his fingertips lightly brushing over the soft patch of pink. ’…your fault if you regret this..’ swift movements of his free hand undo his pants while the other hand disappears underneath the blanket covering V.

There was no denying it. V’s was dripping wet from the kisses and body contact alone…she’d felt the growing bulge in his pants. She couldn’t even think straight seeing it now although it was still hidden underneath the thick layer of fabric. Her eyes were transfixed on his hand on the pants hemline above it. V wanted him. Possible regrets or not.

She only realized where his other hand was wandering to when he slipped a finger between her wet folds. HE dragged his finger along the narrow path from her entrance to her clit and back, then teased her entrance, drawing circles around the overflowing heat- dipping into her from time to time ever so slightly but always leaving her wanting for more. He had her mewling and writhing in no time. Everytime she bucked her hips to meet his fingers he pulled back to deny her the pleasure she was seeking so depserately. Deeper. She wanted to feel it deeper inside. Sweet torture…. ’….please….’ It was a whimper so small and shy it was almost inaudible. The heat inside of her was unbearable. The small plea that had escaped her lips giving away how helplessly needy he had made her for him. With a low chuckle and a satisfied hiss he removed his hand from her fully. V bit her lip. She WAS like a stray kitten. Needy and outright begging. And now she had given herself away like an idiot as well. Yes, she wanted him. Maybe had wanted him from the start. Now he knew. And he would reject her. She closed her eyes, ready to hear the taunting and teasing. Oh silly human….why would he want you…. She waited for the words but they didnt come. Instead, the matress shifted. Movement. (would he leave her here like this??) V peeked through her lashes . He looked godly. Broad shoulders, sleek collarbones, smooth skin, defined abs. The lower her eyes wandered the more she asked herself what was not perfect abt him…he had strong hip bones as well…and even lower… The Hunter was moving slowly, he could tell she’d have her eyes on him. Some freedom from the tight pants was much needed and he smirked at her small gasp when his already leaking erection was revealed. He removed the last bits of clothing before he returned his attention to her…and his needs. His fingers were still wet from touching V when he wrapped them around his shaft. He was painfully hard and throbbing with arousal. There was nothing else he wanted more in this moment than burying himself deep inside of her.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 17th February 2019

We have a new #1, and a very busy week before the BRITs. Let’s get on with it.

Top 10

As I said, there’s a new #1 hit today on the UK Singles Chart – for its first week on both the #1 spot and the chart overall (Yup, it is a debut), it’s “break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored” by Ariana Grande, becoming her 18th Top 40 hit and fifth #1 (Second to debut at the spot this year). This is because of her incredibly successful thank u, next album, which was the most-streamed album of all time for a female artist, and is currently occupying all top three spots on the Billboard Hot 100 in America. Now that’s impressive, although it did sell a bit less than I thought at more than 300k+... also the album sucked, it was a strong four at best. I’ll talk more about it later.

This means that Ariana Grande has blocked herself at #1, in fact has pushed herself off, as “7 rings” is down a spot to number-two.

Surprisingly, Lewis Capaldi enters the top three with “Someone You Loved”, up six spots to number-three. The album’s out soon so expect this to hit the top.

Sam Smith and Normani’s “Dancing with a Stranger” is down one space to number-four.

At number-five is where Mabel stays since last week, with “Don’t Call Me Up”.

Calvin Harris and Rag’n’Bone Man’s “Giant” is down two spaces to number-six.

Also down one space to number-seven is “Wow.” by Post Malone.

Now we have our second top 10 debut by Ariana Grande, “needy”, also from the album thank u, next. It’s at number-eight, and is Grande’s 19th Top 40 hit and 12th Top 10 hit. We’ll talk more about it later.

Unfortunately due to Grande and Capaldi, two good songs are barely hanging on at the end of the top 10. Mark Ronson and Miley Cyrus’ “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart” is down one space to number-nine.

Billie Eilish’s “bury a friend” is also down three spaces to #10, rounding off our top 10.

Climbers

Well, there’s more than I expected to be on this week specifically, but there’s not all too many. “Going Bad” by Meek Mill and Drake is up five spots to #13, probably because of the video, while possibly due to awards season, Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper’s “Shallow” is also up five spots to #21, “Grace” by Lewis Capaldi is up 14 spaces to #26. Then we have recent debuts like “Swervin” by A Boogie wit da Hoodie featuring 6ix9ine up seven spots to #27, “a lot” by 21 Savage featuring J. Cole up seven spots to #29 and “i’m so tired...” by LAUV and Troye Sivan up six spaces to #33, all of which I’m rooting for.

Fallers

I expected a LOT of these due to the sheer amount of new arrivals (There’s seven), and I mean, eh, we got some, mostly due to streaming cuts though. After a couple weeks, the UK Singles Chart makes the importance of streaming in a song’s chart placement lessen, if that makes sense, and this has happened to “Sweet but Psycho” by Ava Max down nine spaces to #11, Post Malone and Swae Lee’s Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse cut “Sunflower” down 13 spaces to #23, and potentially “Without Me” by Halsey down 11 spots to #28, this week. Otherwise, well, we have the fortunate five-space fall for “Undecided” by Chris Brown to #25, and falls for The Weeknd and Gesaffelstein with “Lost in the Fire” down 11 spaces to #35, as well as Kehlani and Ty Dolla $ign’s “Nights Like This” down eight spots to #38. I’m almost sad that song didn’t drop 15 spaces so I could make one of those awful quips about Ty Dolla $ign serving 15 years in prison for cocaine possession.

Dropouts

Streaming cuts also hurt “Close to Me” by Ellie Goulding, Diplo and Swae Lee, out from #27 (Peaking at #17), while “One Kiss” by Calvin Harris and Dua Lipa is out from #38 (Peaking at #1) – about time. Oh, I might as well say that whilst “thank u, next” by Ariana Grande did drop out from #28 (Peaking at #1), it’s not because it’s less popular now, it’s because that there are at least three more popular songs from the thank u, next album, and that’s all the UK Singles Chart allows at once. This is a good rule because it prevents album bombs, but it means the chart is less accurate in actually showing what people are listening to. I bet that song comes back next week anyway. Oh, and there’s more drop-outs: We have “Leave Me Alone” by Flipp Dinero out from #38 (Peaking at #30), “Saturday Nights” by Khalid out from #35 (Peaking at #31) and “18HUNNA” by Headie One and Dave out from #32 (Peaking at #6). These are all premature, so expect these come back, or at least one of them. Fredo’s “All I Ever Wanted” featuring Dave is out from #15 (Peaking at #15) after the album’s hype died down, whilst streaming cuts have pushed both “Hold My Girl” by George Ezra out from #23 (Peaking at #8) and “ZEZE” by Kodak Black featuring Offset and Travis Scott out from #21 (Peaking at #7) off the chart.

Returning Entries

The only returning entry this week is due to the tragic death of rapper Cadet at 25, whose passing has caused his song with Deno Driz, “Advice”, to return at #36. Rest in peace. Now, on a lighter note, here are our returning entries:

NEW ARRIVALS

#40 – “Thotiana” – Blueface

Hell yeah, Blueface, baby. Okay, so you know Blueface, don’t even say you don’t – you’re a filthy liar if so, because he has been all over the Internet due to viral videos of him rapping, because he doesn’t tend to rap conventionally, and he often has funny one-liners. There are purposeful off-beat moments throughout his songs, especially “Deadlocs”, but it’s mostly just inspiration from people like E-40 who would rap in a different way when they came across a beat that fit their unorthodox flow. Anyways, despite his most on-beat song to date, “Bleed It”, being an obvious contender for breakout hit, it seems like “Thotiana” has got the most traction, and hence, here it is. It’s been in the top 40 in the US for a couple weeks, and has got remixes from Desiigner, YG and even Cardi B (Who, by the way, absolutely kills it with an outrageous and hilarious verse, which I unfortunately can’t repeat any lines from because Tumblr might flag me with an adult content restriction – yeah, they’re that nasty). Despite that, it seems to be that the original version is the one that landed in the top 40. It’s obviously his first hit, and, to be honest, I love it to death. It’s barely two minutes and only consists of gliding pianos and smooth keys under a West Coast beat (With some banging percussion), as well as a slightly shrill synth, yet it feels so full, probably because of Blueface and all his ad-libs, including the iconic “Yeah, aight”. The hook is insanely catchy and beyond the meme, Blueface’s flow is great, somewhat complex at points and borders on spoken word in his verse, with so many references of what he says being “on the gang” that you’d think he has a verbal tic. This probably isn’t his funniest or most memorable song but it is a damn great one. Oh, but there’s also this:

Ain’t no runnin’, Thotiana, you gon’ take these damn strokes

Uh, yeah, well, um... Yikes, okay, I’m just going to leave it there. Great song, check it out. Check out the Cardi B remix though, it’s even better.

#37 – “Breathe” – CamelPhat and Cristoph featuring Jem Cooke

Damn, CamelPhat, I love these guys. Every song they’ve released that hit the charts has been some of the best EDM I’ve heard come out of the UK electronic scene in years, and they know how to make a fun, catchy dance song feel cinematic and in the case of songs like “Cola” with Elderbrook, almost avant-garde.  A lot of UK dance by more obscure names has hit the charts last year, and impressed me as well, especially Loud Luxury, so I’m excited to see what CamelPhat have got up their sleeves this time for their third top 40 hit, and the first for Cristoph and Jem Cooke.

Yeah, so, this feels oddly 90s at the start, with those nice warm synths, then the indie-pop singer of the week comes in with her raspy voice covered in reverb, with pretty much no build-up before we get to a deep bassline and finger-snaps come in, almost like a sped-up Chicago house beat. The beat increases in intensity with a higher pitched bass as the chorus comes in but there’s not really a drop, just a continuation of the instrumental, because it still feels restrained and isolated, despite the theatricality of the whole ordeal, and that really fits the title because it’s an anxious song, and it takes a damn long while for that tension release to come in. Unlike “breathin” by Ariana Grande from last year, that was also about anxiety and self-help, this isn’t repetitive to a fault, rather while Jem Cooke yells at herself that she needs her to breathe again, the beat is almost like a train pushing down the tracks and the finale climax when her vocals echo, “Again, again, again, again”, is the train hitting her and killing her. Grande’s song was a pump-up anthem but this is just a pure burst of self-frustration hurled at the listener, and while it’s nowhere near as good as “Panic Room” in expressing panic, isolation and anxiety (Yeah, it is kind of a retread), this is still pretty great.

#34 – “Who Do You Love” – The Chainsmokers featuring 5 Seconds of Summer

Oh, these seven guys again. Look, I like enough of both of these artists’ songs to give them a pass, but a collaborative single between the two is just a mediocrity sandwich. It’s not going to be anything interesting or new or even worthwhile, it’s just going to be a two-dude EDM duo producing for one dude called Luke or something with four other dudes (Who supposedly play instruments on any of their singles – yeah, right). This is the Chainsmokers’ ninth top 40 single in the UK and 5 Seconds of Summer’s ninth as well, and it kind of sucks. What a surprise. We start off promising with distorted piano, a deep 808 bass and what sounds like a high-pitched, siren-like guitar, with Luke crooning, until... it has an acoustic breakdown in which Luke has too many vocal effects put onto him for it to work, and he sounds too fast, like a lot of these EDM guys make people sound like... until, that weak drop with an unfitting build-up. It just sounds like all five seconds saying “Blam-blam, hoopty-doopty, doo-doo” in unison over some cloudy synths and an ugly bass wobble. I know that’s the point, but this song is supposed to be taken seriously, and I don’t think any of the seven dudes involved noticed that at any point. Chainsmokers, guys, you’ll never top “Everybody Hates Me” (Note that their best song isn’t supposed to be taken seriously... or at least I hope not). Blech, I hope this goes away, this really is not worth any staying power.

#30 – “Just You and I” – Tom Walker

Both this and his other song, “Leave a Light On”, were featured in advertisements, boosting their place on the charts. This one has an album attached to it. That should tell you all you need to know about boring singer-songwriter, Tom Walker, trying to get on that “Genuine white guitarist man” money that Rag’n’Bone Man and Ed Sheeran currently store in the safe, although unlike those two, he’s more electronic and more plastic. He’s a rip-off? Yeah. Is he an industry plant? I mean, I don’t like that term, but it sure seems like it. If not, he’s just marketed perfectly. Anyway, this song is his second top 40 hit and some fake acoustic guitar and fake handclaps complement Tom Walker’s slightly nasal and... mildly urban-Irish (???) voice and the piano... and yeah, no, it doesn’t exist. I hear this song and nothing witty is produced, there’s nothing of interest in my brain, I feel like my ears have just had a long string of nothing twisted through them. The “Drop” is just a chorus, this time, although it still feels like a drop because Walker isn’t saying anything of interest. Oh, yeah, and the two parts of the chorus feel really jankily attached, it’s like two halves of a chorus put together. Next.

#16 – “Talk” – Khalid and Disclosure

Oh, hey, a great song by two amazing artists, that’s good to see. So, this is R&B singer Khalid’s tenth UK Top 40 hit and Disclosure’s sixth, and it’s funky, smooth and fun as hell. It starts with a synth that is ripped straight from the 80s, then some keys come in and a clap, until Khalid starts singing with that sultry voice, although it’s in a higher-pitched and more emotive falsetto this time, with a slightly off-kilter bass when partnered with the synths, almost reminding me of future bass. Khalid sounds absolutely fantastic over this beautiful instrumental, with all the extra touches like the drum pattern finishing off with a repeated snare, kick and bass hit at the end of the chorus as a climax, the extra synth melodies added throughout the chorus that give the song so much more “Oomph” and groove to it. The song is joyful, danceable and I don’t care about what the lyrics say at all, but since I clearly don’t have all that much to say about the song other than “This is gorgeous and amazing and brilliant”, I might as well say that the subject matter may be unfitting, because it’s about having a talk about where the relationship is going, which isn’t necessarily as smooth, cute and glamorous as the song could paint it out to be, but there definitely is that off-kilter and quirky vibe to it that does add that sense of panic, despite how mostly chilled it is. That works well, actually. Yeah, check this out because this is the best song either of these guys have put out. If this has longevity in the US, it’s a contender for the top of my best list, because I doubt anything better will come along. Perhaps “bury a friend” and “a lot” could end up there? Who knows? It’s shaping up to be a pretty good year, though, so we’ll see.

#8 – “needy” – Ariana Grande

Ariana Grande finally finds her sound after years and four albums of having the inability to be cohesive or unique, years and years of having a wasted voice due to cluttered, messy and generic instrumentals provided to her by producers who don’t know what they’re doing, and... her albums still suck. Well, her fifth album is a disappointment, yes, and it’s also incredibly mediocre. It lacks a lot of substance, is inconsistent (It either has too much polish or not enough), has a few irritating instrumentals like “bloodline”, as well as once again, it has Grande’s great voice being put to the side due to light-weight trap beats like “7 rings”, for which Grande is forced to lose all of her natural charisma in order to fit on. There, that’s what I think of the album. Now, “needy” is not one of the worst on the album, but it is bad, and you can tell that right off the jump with its over-simplistic, toy-box melody that starts it off, and gets irritating quick, with not enough drowning it out. I like the pre-chorus, it’s pretty cool, but the finger-snaps are fake and pointless, with the borderline doo-wop vocals in the background adding nothing but volume. Someone tell Ariana Grande that her “Yuh” ad-libs should never be used again, please. They worked in “God is a woman”, but that’s the only time they worked, and will ever work. The subject matter is decent here, but I don’t think the beat fits it – because it doesn’t have a beat, really, there’s barely any percussion, and then it has an abrupt, pointless orchestral outro. Yeah, you can tell this album was finished in two weeks. It has a lot of moments like that.

#1 – “break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored” – Ariana Grande

Fitting title. Okay, so what’s the need for build-up, am I right? When it works, over-whelming the listener with the beat immediately crashing in is great. That’s when it has build-up, it never works when it’s just the song starting with bass and percussion immediately, without much reason. No, it doesn’t make sense in the context of the album either, because the song before it fades out. Anyway, so over a weak, discount Playboi Carti type beat with the flute (???) mixed so low that it essentially doesn’t exist, Grande raps with a rather concerning accent considering the blackfishing controversy, biting freaking Quadeca’s flow (I know - Out of all people?), with again, those cringeworthy ad-libs placed in empty spaces. Then it cuts to 16-bit chiptune pianos that aren’t used throughout the song, just in this section, for the pre-chorus, it just feels kind of worthless to have this here, it’s like it’s part of another song they spliced in (A better song, may I add). Oh, and that chorus is sickeningly annoying. I don’t care about the lyricism here as much as I should (Because it is pretty douchey, at least on the surface), but she sounds nasal with that elongated syllable melody that makes me just coil. I don’t like the backing vocals or echoes, either, sorry for the nitpicking but they feel like quick edits just to fill in empty space, especially that male “Hey” (or “Care”, or “Yeah”, I can’t tell), it’s added abruptly and cuts the beat out for no reason. The bridge wouldn’t be bad without that incessant and constant percussion pounding through it. I shouldn’t be this negative, Grande’s performance is okay, I guess, but, damn, this is awful. It doesn’t develop or even end properly, it feels like a bonus track on the standard version – because, yes, somehow this is what they chose as a fitting climax to the record. What a waste of studio time, and what a bad #1. Listen, UK, I didn’t like “7 rings” either, but at least it wasn’t this.

Conclusion

Man, I feel bad for doing so but Ariana Grande gets Worst of the Week for “break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored”, and screw it, Dishonourable Mention for “needy”. Nothing else is all that bad, so the Chainsmokers get away scot-free here, with Honourable Mention being tied and going to both Blueface for “Thotiana” and CamelPhat, Cristoph and Jem Cooke for “Breathe”. Best of the Week should be pretty obvious, but yeah, it’s going to Khalid and Disclosure for “Talk”. See you next week.

[likeabulletyoucanhurtme]

I watched another film and wrote about it. Not a horror this time, more of a fantasy film but some definite weird/horror visuals in parts Troll

I decide I want to watch films from listicles and stupid articles posted from facebook. I decide to do reviews/re-action blogs/liveblog posts, not because of the film but just if I have time/effort to put in. I was recommended to watch TROLL 2 as a horror and thought TROLL 1 would need to be watched first. Turns out they're completely unrelated but whatever, TROLL is an 80s fantasy film, but dark in its own way as we will see... Slow zoom into a book, sitting alone and light up from light through a stained-glass window. Could this film be anymore 80′s? The book opens and no-one's touched it! What a surprise... The moving company is called Starving Students, what a nice cheery company. I don't know if that's an actual company name or the directors real life situation. Dad drives off and leaves the family to load in the boxes and do the heavy lifting. Typical male avoiding hardwork, although I do like that the mum is doing all the heavy lifting Ignored daughter with the sickeningly sweet blonde hair and bunches has to chase her ball... she gonna dieeee! Yeah, disembodied hairy arm has now grabbed her-so long dear! The troll is small and hairy, doesn't look like he'd be much of a threat to people trying to cross a bridge Lovely weird green light - state of the art special effects here. Oh look the trolls now turned into the girl, I wonder if he knows enough about human anatomy to have thought this plan through? Or being a troll instead of human, will he not need to use the toilet? The brother is now looking for Wendy (the girl) and asks if she's been playing with dead cats? Like, why is that a valid question? Seems like the real Wendy was into some pretty freaky stuff even before this film Troll knows enough about English to carry on full conversations with the parents but can't eat properly Kids run out and suddenly they're running  downstairs instead, they go out the front door and then coming back downstairs again - what Euclid geometry is in this building anyway Guys upstairs says he's into swinging...I don't know why you would mention that when meeting new neighbours Also they're having a full conversation while the fire alarm is going off, like ok there might be a fire but moaning about kids is definitely what you should be doing right now Dad is called Harry Potter...shame they didn't trademark that... Everyone seems to think this is a false alarm but how do they know? So lucky they're not getting burned right now. Dad is being slagged for being able to read, what a strange attitude for people who are literally in a book. Troll is trashing the place, tries to bite dad and still hasn't been controlled. Supernanny would have a lot to say about these parenting techniques Oh she was playing Godzilla, how does the troll know who godzilla is? Does he have access to Wendys memories because he now looks like her, or was horrible troll this up-to-date with pop culture? Breakfast scene in the morning was obviously filmed in the evening judging by the light coming in through the window Troll knows enough to dress himself as a little girl at least. Troll throws the brother at the wall and he can't admit it to his parents because the unrealistic and sexist pressures put on him by society wont allow him to admit he was beaten up by (what he thinks was) a girl Swinger from upstairs is a sexist alcoholic, oh dear how predictable. Troll has stabbed swingerman with his ring and now he's bleeding, swelling up and turinging green. I really hope people didn't think this was a kids movie cause that would cause serious nightmares Ah, he's turned into a plant. Troll is just trying to counteract global warming by turning pollutive humans into foliage. Now theres baby trolls and creatures coming out of this plantlike mess...are they his children? or did he turn the man into them?? this is so confusing Old lady has a weird singing mushroom type thing in her apartment on the top floor-she's obviously friends with the troll and the reason why the troll chose to live in their building specifically Boy casually accuses old woman he's just met of stealing. She seems to accept this with no indignation at all. Jr is oversharing with random old woman - no get out run away she's mixed up in it all! Having turned someone into a plant troll is now back to looking like Wendy and playing ball in the middle of the road Troll knows about godzilla but seems really confused at a taxi. Saved by a dwarf who I'm pretty sure was only written in to show how weird this film is. I hope he was paid well for this farce. Ex-marine across the hall is looking at maps on a pool table while holding a baseball bat, there's guns and trophy heads on the wall. It's like someone searched for "manly man" and filled the apartment with everything that came up on google "I've stared death in the face" "what does it look like?" What a very important question. Seems like in the 80s people cared less about where their five year old little girls were, stranger danger and parental responsibility obviously weren't a thing back then. Marine man is now also a plant that spawns weird creatures. "Harry fell down, I just don't understand any of this." Listen hen as far as you know your son just fell down-simple as. It's the audience that don't really understand this weird fucking film! Parents keep talking about the girls "little friend" and its the dwarf from earlier-100% written in so the mum could offer a 30yr old dwarf a glass of chocolate milk. Dwarf is at dinner apparently so he can recite a poem from memory, because why else would your daughter invite a 30ish english professor to dinner? Weird plantspawn creatures in the other apartments are singing to the tune of the poem...because reasons. Old womans mushroom tree thing with eyes is joining in - I knew she was part of it! Their song lyrics seem in consist of random syllables but I'm sure I heard "ebola" in their somewhere... Old woman looks creeped out, like you had the weird mushroom thing in your living room what did you think would happen? Jr is watching tv in his bed where apparently everyones pets are being turned into 'Pod Person From The Planet Mars'. Is this trying to tell us the trolls are aliens...? Another breakfast scene filmed in evening lightening... I wonder how the mushroom feels having a lampshade dumped on it everytime someone visits this old woman "Why are you here?... You're different?... It's not normal?" Jr is a cheeky shit to this old woman and is forgetting whose house he is in, and who is the only friend he has so far. Old woman used to be a princess but is now a witch, ok why not I'm sure there's a reason for this somewhere Troll-wendy knocking on a door and womans like "I have to get changed, you can stay here if you want" like NO BITCH get that creepy girl out of your house! Another apartments occupant turned into plants-although giving birth to a humanlooking female instead of more trolls now. Mushroom has followed Jr and old woman to the kitchen, how? Did it hop in its plant pot? Can it walk? Bf comes to meet the last person turned to a plant - DONT TRUST HER SHE WAS BORN TWO MINUTES AGO FROM A PLANT! Chase through the jungle in the apartment and now they're outside and there's four women for some reason... Troll is there back to looking like a troll, sorry dude he has stole your girl! Wherever this girl goes people keep offering her juice to drink. The 80s was obviously more trusting of adults, and adults were more friendly to weird kids showing up on their doorstep. Trollwendy looks upset that the dwarf is going to die, like he hasnt been killing people randomly all week. Michael (dwarfs) story is giving a real normal insight into the struggle of someone born with dwarfism, completely unexpected from this film. Nope, trollwendy is over it and looks like Michaels getting turned into a plant now. Didn't think that seriousness would last long Old woman knocking on doors with a golden spear like she's gonna fight the whole close. I wonder what she'd say if one of her neighbours actually did answer? "its the weekend" "do you know what day they dropped the bomb on hiroshima?" "a weekend, maybe?" I wonder who the hell wrote that and what were they smoking at the time? Harry Sr says the woman upstairs is the wicked witch of the west, very nice to slag off your sons only friend right in front of him. Wasnt that when you let Jr go to hers for breakfast! Jr is repeating lines from his Pod People tv show and Sr asks if his wife did drugs? Like his weird behaviour couldnt come from your side of the family? Or from an uncaring and inconsiderate father and the whole family moving house? Golden spear actually shoots lightening at troll creatures, who knew? Plants are taking over the hallway but when Jr gets to old womans house he neglects to mention the impending doom and just has some hot chocolate. "Before there were countries there was just one place with humans and faries" So, pangea? I didn't know they had faries. Geography would've been a lot more interesting if they'd told us that. Old woman was in love with a prince, prince fought with the fairies against humans, humans won, prince got turned into the troll. Apparently by taking over the whole building its actually a fairy universe and will burst forth and troll will have taken over the world... I think that's what she's trying to say? Why conquer countries all you need is a shitty apartment block! Also real wendy is still alive because the troll wants her to be a fairy princess, six year old and evil thousands of year old troll, real creepy arranged marriage Troll only has three days to take over the building-he's doing quite good he only has two appartments left. Troll has "always been melodramatic" apparently. Nah I think it's this acting and weird plot that's all melodramatic. Old woman unpins her hair and suddenly she's 50 years younger, it's true-a new hairdo can make you look different. Jr says he's waiting for a stray dragon, Sr doesn't ask where he got the large golden spear from. Old woman is now a talking tree stump after facing the troll, and her appartment now leads outside too "What is going on out there?" "I dont know but I'm listening to the tree" wise words Sr, wise words Troll stabbed his own monster to save the six year old, because apparently he cant find another blonde girl to be his princess. Well that was lucky but very stupid of him Family are now moving again but this time they just have a suitcase each, no moving vans this time somehow? Also that was the quickest packing I've seen I think that's stupid anyway, what's the chances a troll is gonna try and take over that exact same building in the future? That buildings probably the safest one cause if he tries again it'll be somewhere different. Police man tells them where the station is to make a statement - but they're not being arrested and I'm not sure what crime they think has been comitted? Ok so I was wrong, the laundry room is still a jungle and troll is killing policeman. Maybe a good idea to move.

[slothcritic1]

Moana (2016)

Amazing Hair: The Movie. Moana is a tale of Hawaiian/Polynesian folklore centering around Dwayne The Maui Johnson and brand new talent (Auli'i Cravalho) as the titular character.

As someone who grew up with Toy Story, it’s funny to think about what this movie represents from a technical standpoint. Toy Story purposefully did not have an explositions or exposed liquids due to the limitations of technology at the time. And now we have a movie that takes place 90% of the time in the middle of a huge ocean.

The movie has some genuinely good songs, thanks to the singing talents of Ms Cravalho and, surprisingly, Dwayne Johnson himself. Yes, The Rock can sing, and while it’s semi-obvious that he doesn’t have the range of some other singers, he works within his means and knocks it out of the park in the song You’re Welcome

The plot structure itself is very formulaic however, which is a shame as everything else holds up so wonderfully. The focal girl has a duty to uphold, but instead decides to “follow her destiny” and choose a life of adventure over the life she’s expected to live (you know, like Brave, Frozen, Mulan, Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Hunchback of Notre Dame, Tarzan… you get the point). She then meets up with the wacky, street wise (or ocean wise), reluctant helper that she goads into helping on her journey. They become friends and bond, then theres the third act break up where the helper separates for no good reason, and the fourth act triumphant return at the ending climax for even less of a good reason.

With that out of the way, the movie rocks. Some people completely judge a movie only on plot, but I think it’s more about how it makes you feel. A movie is a vessel for emotion and intrigue.

Aside from the stunning visuals (which, lets face it, are now a standard practise for Disney Pixar films) and a catchy song (songs however are much easier to screw up, and this movie has a lot of good ones), the opening scene is bland. It sets up Moana to be the next village chief and her journey into leaving the island. The scene doesn’t really have anything for itself, but rather is used to carry the impact of when she actually disembarks. It’s necessary for backstory (no one ever leaves the island), exposition (Moana is the daughter of the village chief, etc) and the premise (find Maui and have him restore Heart of Te Fiti to stop a black virus from consuming all life), but doesnt do too much on its own.

The disembarkment scene however is wicked powerful. My friends thought I was alien for not crying or tearing up during it, but I will admit it did give me a good *pang* in the heart. Magical spirit stingray!

Two things should also be mentioned at this point. 1) A rooster named Hei Hei has snuck aboard Moana’s boat. It’s a very special rooster that my friends would not stop comparing to me. And B) The ocean is a sentient character of sorts, and provides some of the comedy for the movie.

Moana follows the constellation of the fish hook to where Maui is, since thats his dealio. At some point however, the lovable ocean gets triggered and decides to unleash its torrential stormy wrath upon Moana. I mean, it does get her to Maui’s island, but I’m sure there were less dickish ways of accomplishing that. Though I don’t think ocean cares since it killed Moana’s dad’s best friend. Oh, ocean, you little scamp.

Maui pops in and drops my favorite song of the movie, then steals the boat and leaves Moana to… I dunno, die? But she makes it back to Maui and explains that he needs to help her because, guess what, she’s the Disney Princess of this movie. And yes - She is. Her father is chief, which is like a king. She’s the chief’s daughter, which is like a king’s daughter, aka princess.

Maui responds by throwing the Heart of Te Fiti several miles away. This almost works out for Maui until p̶l̶o̶t̶ the ocean interferes by throwing it back, railroading him into a whole new world.

Maui however is at a disadvantage in his current state; He’s missing his hook. No hook, no powers. So when tribal coconuts show up on a HUGE ship, armed to the coconuts with poison blow darts, they’re kind of fucked, especially when they steal the Heart of Te Fiti, which is… currently inside Hei Hei.

Luckily, Moana does some badass shit while Maui handles the boat and the three of them get out fine. Next stop, Maui’s hook. But before that, Moana wants to drive the boat. Maui says no, and the ocean pricks him with a stray poison dart. Now he cant drive. But he can pee in the water just as he tells Moana to check for a “warm current”

I can get on board with that level of petty.

They arrive at Monster Island, which is where Maui’s hook is. Maui tells her to stay on the boat and do nothing like a good woman while macho man demi-dude saves the whole day. It has little success. I should also mention, this entire time they’ve been traveling from Casa de Maui to Mount Doom, Maui has just been roasting Moana for being a Disney princess. To summarize:

“Oh look at me. I’m the chosen one. I’m like 8 years old and never sailed a boat in my life, but here I am thinking the ocean chose ME, with my bleeding heart spiel and animal companion to try and save the world.”

To be fair, large bodies of water have never been good at chosing leaders - Ask Monty Python.

Regardless, Moana and Maui both climb what is basically a 90 degree incline to the top of the Dread Spire. It is at this point Maui informs Moana that the door to the monster realm can only be opened with a human sacrifice. Before Moana can protest, Maui ritually disembowels her with his own hands to appease the ancient blood gods.

Kidding. He chants a few words and the gateway opens. The two jump in, and Moana is almost eaten or killed numerous times with the first few moments of being in the realm of the monsters.

Maui’s hook is resting upon a mountain of gold. Seems innocent enough to Moana, but Maui insists she wears a bright and gaudy disguise to draw the attention of… something.

The mountain of gold rises up. Turns out thats just its back. Meet the British Crab. He sings a song about how he loves shiny things and then nearly eats Moana, until Maui reveals he retrieved his hook from the British Crab’s back.

But he’s a little rusty and it, uh, doesn’t work right. So Maui gets his shit stomped by BC. Moana saves the day by painting a rock with bioluminescent algae to make it look like the Heart of Te Fiti, which is shiny, and BC is all about the shiny.

They escape, and Maui learns to reuse his hook. Everythings looking swell until they try and take on the great evil of the story, Te Ka. He uses fireball and Maui presses E to deflect with his hook, only instead the hook gets mad cracked. It sparks like its somehow made of electricity, which I find weird. Maui is now done with life since his hook is nearly toast and he fucks off, leaving chosen girl all by herself, depressed as fuck in the middle of nowhere, ocean.

One drug trip and amazing song later, she regains her confidence and tried to take on Te Ka by herself. It surprisingly works, because now she knows how to drive a boat. Hei Hei comes in clutch and stops the Heart of Te Fiti from falling off the boat, and they make it through the border islands towards their main goal.

Te Ka is still rather pissed, being a giant lava demon and all, so he keeps trying to kill Moana. And for no real reason, here comes Maui to save the day - or at least to stall Te Ka until Moana can do the thing. His hook gets completely totalled but its okay, because he learned a valuable lesson off-screen that he’s still Maui, hook or no hook.

Moana realizes that the Heart actually goes into Te Ka. So she pulls a Moses, lets Te Ka come at her bro, and puts the Heart into her chest. This turns her from the red Lava Groot to the green Mother Nature Jemima, and everything is better forever. And hey, she gives Maui a brand new hook after he apologises for being the literal cause of ALL of this. Maui does his own thing and Moana becomes the leader of a brand new generation of voyagers.

I do have to applaud Disney for NOT having the two of them kiss at the end. Its always nice to see a platonic m/f duo in movies and the romance subplot sells so well to resist sometimes.

Overall, very stunning. I often cite “movie feel” as a reason why movies with plot/cliche/logistic problems can still make good movies, and this movie does a wonderful job of sweeping you off your feet. Though honestly, the writing on this movie is not bad. Rather, I would say its poorly structured. Think of it like a support beam a beanstalk might grow up. The characters were amazing; Full of life, personality and moderately complex emotions, the animation is so good the whole movie is like a humble brag about how awesome the DisneyTech is, a lot (i’d say 80%) of the script is bang on, and an astounding amount of the songs are really good - Songs are easy to screw up and I’d say that’s this movies second biggest strength (behind hair/water animation). It just struggles with the standard “winning formula” plot structure that was honestly ill-fitting in parts and did not impart a wholesome explanation or comprehensive rationale behind certain scenes.

I’m not a big Disney buff (unless you count the Star Wars acquisition), so I’m not qualified to say how this ranks compared to other movies (disregarding modern tech advancements and focusing more on storytelling) - However I will say that it’s better than Frozen.