#also this doesnt even have to apply to mental illness

[infizero]

if a male character isnt commonly mistaken to be a girl by the audience then WHAT is the fucking point. why should i even care

[listofwhyyouloveher]

Hi dear I hope you're doing well and I was hoping if you can do the whole greaser gang with a s/o that's like Fiona Gallagher from the show shameless? Like she's taking care of her six siblings and her dad who's usually at the bar or passed out somewhere. Their mother ran out and is mentally ill so their s/o is left to be her siblings mother/father/ and nurse fill free to ignore if you want to do and I hope you have a good day!

Summary: The Outsider x Fiona Gallagher!Reader Warnings:mentions of absent mother, drinking, very toxic adult behavior, dysfunctional family Author's Note: gonna be busy tmrw and weekend again, ill try and post 1 fic per day but no promises.

PONYBOY CURTIS

Ponyboy doesn’t really live in a dysfunctional family, yes his home life is tough but Darry loves him and tries his best and pony knows that

However, pony cant mentally put himself in Darry’s shoes of having no-one to lean on and having to take care of many siblings

When he first met you, he was absolutely smitten. And when you told him of your problems, he thought you were the toughest chick in town

He often asks Darry what to do to take a couple of burdens off your shoulder. He applies it to you and also at home, you’ve made him a better person.

JOHNNY CADE

Has a dysfunctional family and can understand, to an extent..he still gets fed sometimes and doesn’t have to work to stay in his home

But he doesn’t have a hard time adjusting to you.

He’s very open and loves your siblings, so he tries to take them out as many times as possible to give you some rest.

He genuinely doesnt understand how your parents could have left you doing all this by yourself when you’re such a perfect girl.

SODAPOP CURTIS

Soda admires you like you’re a work of art. 

He takes everything into consideration, for example, if he wants to take you on a date he’ll invite some of the gang members to hang out with your siblings and keep them away

Never asks you for anything, not to rant, vent or anything. He feels as if his problems could never measure up to yours so his whole world revolves around you.

Tries to spend as much of his money as possible to get you nice things and spoil you.

STEVE RANDLE

Steve understands how tough it is for you mentally. He’ll often stop by your place with something for you, like a box of chocolates or something. 

Whenever he’s over, he makes an effort to get to know and play with your siblings, he even was going to introduce himself to your dad. You convinced him it was a bad idea so he didnt.

He makes it known that you can tell him anything, literally anything, and he’d listen. He also wants you to know that you can call him anytime and he’d come for you.

Reassures you that he won’t ever leave you, that you’re special and he’s madly in love with you.

TWO-BIT MATHEWS

Two-Bit has some kid experience so he tries his hardest to keep your siblings company and even brings his sisters for ‘playdates’

Really enjoys spending time with you and would even do the chores around the house with you to keep talking with you.

He’s not very good at comforting people and he tries to make up for it by using his humor. You get where he’s coming from and it often helps a lot actually.

Tries his best to look nice for you when he comes over, he wants you to know he’s not a washed up nobody like your parents and wants to be a rolemodel to your siblings.

DARRY CURTIS

Often tells you that you’re perfect and that your siblings will grow so much better with you as their ‘parent’. He once made you cry because of what he said and he just held you in his arms while you sobbed.

He can sort of relate to what you’re going through but his is not as extreme as yours. 

Whenever he can he drops by to help you. Date night consists of making dinner for your siblings, washing the dishes and having a late night dinner together after you put your siblings to bed.

He knows you'd make a perfect wife since he’s old enough to marry, just waiting on the right time to pop the question.

DALLAS WINSTON

Dallas is insensitive and rude to you. He knows what you’re going through, he just doesn’t care.

However, once you caught him putting on a bandaid for your younger brother. He wasn’t kind about it, saying things like “can’t you do this yourself?” but he still did it.

He knows you saw it and thinks that hanging around your house and helping you with chores and siblings will keep you quiet about it

He doesn’t like kids, but he tolerates them for his reputation, and because you’re growing on him.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hi! Just found your bog and I really like how you write Tim/Masky. So could I request Tim/Masky and EJ with a very caring reader, reader is mother hen-ish and gets worried about them not taking care of themselves while reader themselves doesn’t take care of themselves much either. Hope that makers sense, have a great day!

Tim/Masky and Eyeless Jack x mother hen!reader but they're a hypocrite

Giving tim and masky separate parts since I do write them just sliiiiiiightly different to each other !! Glad to hear you like my silly lil take on this dude! Was/is definitely hard to get him down while trying to appease two fandoms 😭😭

MASKY

He wont exactly stop you from treating any of his wounds when he comes home, but hes not going to be thrilled. The only time he would seek out your help is if he cant reach it. Very stubborn, while yes hes not trying to go out of his way to get hurt hes not going to be making sure hes staying totally safe when hes out doing his.. thing.. oh if you could only see his face when he sees you not drinking your water after you hound him for not staying hydrated.. he might actually try to force you to drink or get a snack. When it comes to sleep he physically holds you to him in bed.. he might not be tired himself but if this is the only way you'll get to bed then so be it

TIM

Hes a little more accepting of help than his counterpart, though its mostly out of confusion as he doesnt know where his wounds come from. Actually he can't really remember the night prior.. assuming you're unaware of everything going on with him, you just try to patch him up. Thankfully it's not usually anything more than small cuts and scrapes. Sometimes theres bruises.. moving on tim can also be a bit of hypocrite like you. He insists you take care of yourself but he forgets to apply the same standard to him.. it's not that he intentionally is holding a double standard, he just genuinely either forgets or doesnt have the energy. Mental illness can do that to someone and it sucks. But it can be turned into you both trying to do better for each other, and it sort of becomes a system.. that'd be sweet, I think, you both uplift each other over time

EYELESS JACK

All things considered, hes fairly good at taking care of himself. Granted, there will be real consequences if he doesnt.. for him and you.. so he cant take many chances. Look, missing a meal when you're a man eating demon who goes rabid when hungry is.. not the best. He doesn't want to take any chances, so even if it mentally messes with him to eat his food he still toughs it out because it's better that the alternative. I guess theres a plus that he technically doesnt need to sleep to function.. semi good enough. Actually if anything hes the one scolding you for not taking care of yourself. Being the one being looked after.. feels weird to jack..

[vvh0adie]

watching my friends leave tumblr is really sad

you literally can't win

at this point the writer's strike should just be a cultural movement

like ppl are writing for FREE and you're complaining about turn out rate and shit

we have lives and some of us (HELL ALL OF US) have some form of mental illness, so we can't be fucking cogs all day and churn out fics.

writing is suppose to be therapeutic and writers want to share that with you to ease the tension of this hellscape we live in

but some of these readers and even fellow writers are taking it too far with the bullying

like its mean and nasty. you don't know what someone is going thru.

instead of asking for updates how about check and see if your writer is mentally stable to do so. that right there is a booster, to have someone say "are you okay?"

and then the whole accusations of favoring a certain member/character. if that person is my muse or safe space then of course imma write for them. most solo writers i see don't even talk bad about other people. its a SOLO account. think of it as a shrine blog of writing if that helps. they're not there to trash, just share their writing for other's who might also share the same muse.

then you have readers who can't separate fiction from reality. just because someone writes a character with irl people faceclaimed onto them doesnt mean they actually think that person would be or do those things irl. i'll be the first to say that i only gave my characters bts faces cuz thats who im attracted to and they're who i imagine would be casted to play my characters.

then IN THE YEAR OF 2023 we still have ppl making fun of their peers writing and also THE FACT THAT ENGLISH MIGHT NOT BE THEIR FIRST LANGUAGE? that's nasty asf. majority of us dont even speak 'proper' english as our first language no way. you only shooting yourself in the foot. don't act like you dont have beta readers... like what are yall on?

and anybody who gets on THAT BLOG behind anon is an opp. not just to the writing community but in how you interact with the world all together. yall don't know how to talk to people anymore? it may have started as a place for critique and accountability but no one is bringing receipts or critical thinking anymore. its mainly for drama and not rehabilitation. yall serious scare me in how we'd see the reality of social change applied to the real world. like i'd be more scared to let yall around the prisoners with minor offenses cuz yall act like its the end of the world and that change cant happen. yall give nobody room to change ignorant stances but ignore the real egregious shit because you honestly dont have the bandwidth to take on actual fascist views.

also the plagiarism has got to stop too. if you need writing resources just ask. but practice makes perfect. so you're gonna have to write yourself. you may not like your writers voice but you will feel shitty in the long run when you don't feel like its you putting those words on the paper. it literally just prolongs your inferiority. make something you're proud of and don't hurt your fellow writers. we went thru the process just like you. we earned it. and most of us aren't gatekeepers, we will help you.

like its really tuff being on here sometimes. cuz if you not being hounded by readers its your own community praying on your down fall.

we have to do better.

[strangestcase]

For the people that are going to do Dracula Daily this year:

One of the subplots that Dracula covers, and arguably the most important subplot, is one centered around a psychiatric patient confined to an asylum- it touches upon the way he sees the world, his relationship with his doctor, and how he relates to and perceives the villain VS the heroes, since for most of the plot he believes the villain to be good and strives to serve him.

Both the patient and the doctor characters (who are part of the main cast and very important to moving the plot foward in their own ways!) are portrayed as sympathetic victims to the main villain and mostly on the side of good, but in different ways, and, of course, the way they are written is informed by the beliefs of the time.

I won't spoil anything too important about it, just warn you that this subplot depicts Victorian Era ableism, which is... pretty extreme, and forms of medical abuse (specifically, psychiatric abuse) that still exist today!

This plotline involves:

-depictions of hallucinations, delusions, and irrational thinking

-medical malpractice: delusions being encouraged, patients being dehumanized, prolonged use of dangerous restraints

-unsanitary behavior (eating live animals)

-ableist attitudes from most of the hero characters

(other Dracula fans pls tell me if I've missed something)

What do I make of this? you ask. Well...

Do not excuse medical abuse, even if it's fictional. The doctor character is, for all his medical malpractice, depicted as a complex person that has some likeable traits and he undergoes a pretty sad arc relating to loss and trauma, like most of the heroes of this novel. This doesn't make him any less of an abuser, nor makes his patient any less of a victim!

Refrain from using ableist language or rethoric. The patient character, being written for a very old horror book, is often depicted as "unsettling" and his strange behavior is sometimes played for horror. This 1) doesn't make his situation any less deplorable 2) doesn't make him any less sympethetic and most importantly 3) doesnt give you a free pass to treat him as a scary horror monster. He's a victim of both the real monster of this story and the system he lives in.

Listen to psychotic fans. Research the history of Victorian asylums. Understand the historical context. Look at this subplot from a holistic perspective instead of treating it as a horror story within a horror story (although, it is a horror story, but not for the reasons some think it is!). Just don't be a dick to disabled people.

If any part of this subplot triggers or squicks you, you are not obligated to read it, just be aware that it exists and that it is important to avoid perpetuating ableist stereotypes, be they present in the original text or not. (Hell, you are not obligated to read any part of the book if you don't want to do so. Dracula Daily is supposed to be fun. Analyzing literature is supposed to be fun. Enjoying literature is supposed to be fun!)

For the love of God, don't get angry if some fans dislike the doctor character for what he's done and take the patients' side. This was an issue during the last Dracula Daily run. He's literally the victim in this relationship. I'm not saying you can't like or dislike either character but I have to reiterate: do not erase either character's contribution to the plot, do not demonize the patient character for being mentally ill in an "ugly" way and beliveing the villain is good, and don't woobiefy the doctor character because he said a funny thing once. Both are complex adult human beings so don't expect them to be caricatures.

Do not be afraid to call out ableist behavior from other fans, but also be careful to not overstep or talk over disabled fans, especially psychotic fans.

During the Dracula Daily run, some blogs will warn about the entries in which this subplot takes place, and what triggers apply for each one of them. If you need those warnings, don't be afraid to reach out for them!

Happy reading!

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

i just now learned about a recent case where a german man kidnapped and did unspeakable acts to two boys. one was german, one was a refugee. the first one was immediately treated as a missing case, but the second one was not because the cops were afraid the mother was hiding her son to avoid deportation. and the worst part is, that little boy was kidnapped in a government institution (lageso in berlin) where his mother went for help! its infuriating beyond belief.

racism is so deeply engrained in german institutions, its not funny. yet police refuses any reforms or real investigations and deny even the notion - despite mounting evidence - that there is an issue with systemic racism in german police. and we dont have an independent institution to control the cops, you know who investigates their failures and issues? other cops. and we all know how they stick together like literal shit.

but it also made me think about „missing white woman syndrome“. does anyone really care about an eastern european white woman who goes missing while being exploited in the west through prostitution, in the domestic field, nursing, or as a „mail bride“ dependent on her husband? does anyone care about a white woman in the usa going missing from a trailer park? does anyone care about a white woman who was homeless, mentally ill, drug addicted, disabled, impoverished, prostituted, or otherwise marginalised going missing? and do people not care about white men going missing?

and it also made me think about this current trend of oversimplifying and decontextualising racism. one thing i hope we all can agree on is that anti black racism is very persistent. i cant think of a single country where black people are treated preferably over other races, best case is to be treated equally as a black person, and even that is not the case in most countries. but this doesnt just apply to white majority countries. in japan or korea, or under the kafala system in the arabic gulf states, for example, black people are systematically discriminated against and exploited too. white people are also not the only ones guilty of colonialism and imperialism - albeit i dont want to minimise the scale of portugese, spanish, french, british/australin, german, dutch, belgian (neo)colonialism or the north american slave trade.

i dont know its just, everything always has to be put in context and looked at from an intersectional perspective but i feel a lot of people who fault white supremacy for everything dont do that. and dont get me wrong, white supremacy is the root of a lot of inequality and issues, but despite the name its not merely a black and white problem, its complex. for example, even if a roma or jewish person is white, neonazis dont consider them the same race as white people. or i remember my turkish professor once saying, „in turkey im considered white, but in germany im a person of colour“. because race is not just phenotype, it is also culture, nationality, location and ethnicity that matters for who is holding power and privilege.

meanwhile a lot of the same people will refuse to agree that sex matters. or claim that sex - which is a lot less ambiguous than race by the way and nobody argues that mixed race people prove that race is not real or doesnt matter the way they argue intersex people prove that sex is not real or doesnt matter - is a spectrum while chanting „black lives matter“. and i know that black communities do have that conversation about colourism and how whiteness is something even people of colour are supposed to „strive for“, which is why for example the harmful practice of bleaching your skin exists. so it is being acknowledged that race is a spectrum, but some of the same people who rightfully talk about black lives and how blackness is its own social category will call you a bigot for talking about female lives and how being female is a social category.

im not going anywhere with this, just some thoughts that came up regarding discussions on racism and sex and how they intersect too. feel very free to chime in especially as a person of colour obviously!

[honeekyuu]

hi honey! im sending this to ask you how you decided that you wanted to pursue a PHD. im thinking of getting a phd in economics because I’ve always been super interested, but im not sure if that’s the path for me yet. what do you think are some pros and cons to getting one and how did you know that this was the right path for you??

-b.

hi!!! omg wow what a question. i will say first that everyones phd experience looks a little different, so i can talk ab mine but definitely take it with a grain of salt!!

i knew i wanted to do a phd because 1) i love being in school, and 2) while i was getting my B.A in linguistics, i had a lot of questions that were higher level and more specific than my undergrad classes could really get into. I also worked as a research assistant to a professor in the East Asian Languages and Civilizations dept for about 3 years, and she was my closest mentor and advisor in that time. she was a korean historian, and she encouraged me to keep studying something related to korean, because that had been my specialization of sorts when it came to choosing classes and research projects. i had a feeling around that time that i wanted to go on to a graduate program of some sort.

after i finished undergrad, i took a year off to figure my life out, and in that time, i worked one on one with a professor in the Linguistics dept at my undergrad for about 9-10 months. under her guidance, i wrote what would have essentially been a masters thesis about korean linguistics, and i knew in that time that i wanted that paper to be the paper i submitted to phd programs.

i think there are a few things to consider when thinking ab a phd:

phds are extremely individual research focused. my program doesnt offer a terminal master's degree (it's included within the phd program as a milestone), but phds are NOT like "undergrad 2.0". ive seen a number of people make that mistake in my program, focusing only on coursework and waiting for their advisor to give them research to do. im not sure how econ works, but in ling, we're thrown straight off the deep end into research. im only a 3rd year, and my master's degree research project was accepted into the top korean linguistics conference in the world, which is 100% a FLEX but also this is only happening because my advisors are cutthroat research gods who pushed pushed pushed me from the very first day. so please be aware that phds are very self-driven. you need the motivation to work on your own for long periods of time.

some people think a phd is a lonely experience. i think it certainly can be, because everyone is working on their own hyper-specific research project, but it's also very important for that reason to have friends. my closest friend in the department is 3 years above me, and we only became friends because i arrived screaming crying throwing up with fear and anxiety ab my work and he literally clocked me as the kid who needed the most emotional grounding LMAO. my other closest friend was literally my research assistant. he was an undergrad. but he was my age (korean military service delays college quite a lot, it seems), so once his contract w me was up, it turned into us helping him apply for grad schools too!! and now the four of us (them + my partner) have weekly stardew valley screaming sessions on discord and saturday brunch with animal crossing. it's not lonely, and i think that's because i knew it would be if i didnt make friends.

i think ill say one more thing before i stfu. grad school is hard. it's so so hard. please be aware of that. some days im drowning in mental health issues and fearing even a chance encounter in the hall with my advisors because i know theyll ask about something i havent gotten done yet. sometimes im literally sobbing on my couch, overwhelmed beyond belief wondering if i can do this. sometimes i become self-destructive and isolated and so terribly unwell that my mom starts calling my partner because i wont pick up the phone. it's fucking hard. but it's also the happiest ive ever been, truly. the really really hard days are worth it, because the really good days or even just the decently good days are much more frequent and amazing. running down the hall to avoid my advisor seeing me is worth it because, when things are good, he invites me to coffee and we spend 2+ hours talking about my future. he tells me he pushes me because he knows i can do what needs to be done and change the field. he makes my life hell because, once im through it, no one else could ever question the quality of my work and the job market is going to be so beautiful once i get there. i started grad school a nervous wreck with terribly low self-esteem who thought that my research could never cut it or be interesting enough. im barely going into my 3rd year, and ive been broken down and reformed into the kind of person i used to look up to, by my own sheer willpower to be the strongest i can be. im not afraid to fail anymore, because ive failed a million times in the last 2 years. im not afraid to fuck up, because ive fucked up so many times, in front of the two people who hold my future in their hands, and im still here. grad school is worth it to me because im the version of myself that the me from undergrad would never believe exists.

[acaciapines]

obviously if you’re busy leave this alone but: your tag essay has made me VERY intrigued about Dess and Azzy’s relationship in this AU. Tell me about it?

(also, did you see they did an announcement about Starship Iris season 3? It’s finally gonna happen!)

okay IM HERE TO TALK LOL i will NEVER not talk about this au <3 uhhh under a cut bc. really i should just expect these get super long.

big important note up top: all of this is in! early stages! things are not fully formed and researched yet so please keep that in mind as you read this. ideas might change and will get deeper as i do more work for this au, but since rn im focusing on owl house most of these are my ideas i've had without time to do deeper dives into them.

okay so with asriel i've always sort of written him as this guy who like...has an idea of what is 'normal' in his head, ie, what society wants from people, and what it doesnt want, and he has tried his hardest his entire life to always fit into this box. (think about i know im not well--this is why he's always seen kris as a human. being nonhuman is abnormal and gets you punished in society. to an extent this is also how he views dess being aromantic.)

i think a lot of this comes from fear--asriel IS for sure contorting himself and actively harming himself to stay inside this narrow box of 'normal' (think of this as another sort of prophecy--these are all touching on the same themes). and he applies this same mentality to other people BECAUSE of this fear, because he doesnt want his loved ones to be hurt, to be punished, ostracized, etc by society--which are i wanna be clear VERY MUCH THINGS THAT HAPPEN--but in doing this he sort of just hurts the people he loves. because instead of being someone who rejects these boxes hes like. no we gotta be good and fit into the boxes and then everything will be okay.

so when it comes to dess, dess has always very much Done Her Own Thing, consequences be damned. partly this is who she is, partly this is hashtag undiagnosed and untreated mental illness, the onset of which happens around when shes 18 and everything is going down with the bunker (which is NOT helping at ALL). and so when dess comes back from the bunker asriel does very much go 'oh. shes delusional.' and proceed to be No Help At All.

and like, the thing is dess IS very much having a psychotic break. this bit is very much still in deep research (sidenote: anybody in my audience who has experience w/ these things. feel free to hit me up/dm me lol i'd love to talk through some of my ideas as a sort of preliminary sensitivity read, but of course only do this if you are up to it, no pressure lol bc again we're in early stages) but she has schizoaffective + bipolar disorder. dark worlds dont help with this, asriel SUPER doesnt help with this (he doesnt know her actual disorder--neither of them do, this is the onset of things. but tbf even if he did he Would Not Help asriel is essentially doing everything wrong here.) and what dess needs is literally one single person in her corner but the person who is supposed to be in her corner (azzy) is basically being like 'you are making this up' and shes like im NOT, and everything is all mixed together, terrible, bad, awful, and eventually everything culminates and. we know what happens.

(side note but this is why she and chara work real well together actually--chara gets her when asriel doesnt!!)

asriel never actually like. tells anybody about this though. in his head after its assumed dess and kris have died he sort of just. is like well this proves it. i cant let anybody else i care about go that far EVER AGAIN, because if i was a better friend i would've noticed and i wouldve stopped it and made dess "normal." (yes asriel sucks here. the focus is on the kids but. he's getting an arc. i do promise he will get better but. that doesnt really fix what he's done in the past.)

and all of this is like. it fucking sucks for the people around asriel. in hurting himself he's hurting his loved ones--it pushes dess away, and that relationship is never going to be the same. even when asriel realizes how he fucked up i dont think dess really forgives him. because if asriel had just believed her, or at least even if he didnt actually took her seriously and tried to help, shes like. things wouldve gone differently. and asriel knows this too.

and then when it comes to NOELLE, well. asriel's always been very overprotective of her. terrified the world is going to hurt her. and so when noelle starts experiencing things, things she cant tell if theyre real or not...

she doesnt tell him. she doesnt tell anybody. she keeps it all to herself, and this means its a hell of a lot easier for the player/red soul to manipulate her. and nobody finds out until its too late.

[mediocre-noodle]

had a silly interaction in class today ->

class was mental health and counseling (love that class fr) and a slide came up w a chart that was like. hhh lemme-

one if these!! without the extra annotations.

now to edit it. with words.

“you’re okay” -> chronic illness

“you’re not okay” -> perfect physical health

“i’m okay” -> no chronic illness

“im not okay” -> poor physical health

thats just context. anyways.

teacher was like— okay who in here has perfect physical health?

and no one raised their hands i think.

he them went on about how he had good physical health but then something happened and he started downhill and now hes poor physical health.

lastly he was like “and i doubt any of us have chronic illness in here. except for maybe a few” (AND IT FELT LIKE HE STARED AT ME. /j)

and i sit there like.

aha. right. totally. -> CURRENTLY HAS A MIGRAINE. chronic migraines. you gotta hate them.

i thought it was hilarious i wanted to raise my hand and be like *lipbite* im not like other girls (bc im not a girl but yk) (dramatized ofc. was waiting for him to be like “who in here has a chronic illness and id be like THIS BITCH. HI. I NEED ADVIL AND MY EMERGENCY MED BC OUWCH.)

and he was also talking about reasons ppl dont get professional help and asked for examples and MY HAND SHOT UP. someone else said stigma (good choice. basic.) and i said affordability.

teacher was like yeah it can be expensive. has anyone asked their parents how much healthcare costs monthly (i am VERY aware of how much i cost)? how do uou expect to pay for stuff when you get out of high school? how will you pay for college?? etc etc (not at me)

i wanted so badly to raise my hand and throw my cents in, bc i have the experimece, and be like. without insurance, one of my meds cost over $1000. thats only ONE medication too. doesnt even count doctor visits and all that other stuff. advil must dent our shopping lost sm.

anyways waaa im home. thor is sleeping on the floor of the bathroom.

omg i thought i replied to this OOPSIES

anyways i love shit like this where the teacher is like “anyways heres a thing that probably doesnt apply to any of you” and you have to sit there like “:333 hii”

[etherealspacejelly]

i've sent an ask before about self-diagnosed autism and whether or not it's valid (i would link it but i can't because i'm anon and i'm too socially anxious to reveal myself grrr). first of all thank you so much. i quite often reread it to remind myself im valid. <3

i have a follow-up question/kind of a rant. i have a friend who's diagnosed audhd, and she's the only neurodivergent person in my life who seems to think i'm not autistic (she thinks i'm neurodivergent though, but nothing applies well to me other than anxiety which idk if that's generally considered a mental illness or a neurodiversity??). it's so weird how she expresses this too, for example, saying i "have a lot of autism symptoms, but don't seem autistic" (i mask a LOT). and every time i vent about my autism symptoms and how they affect me, i literally swear i can see it click for her that i'm likely on the spectrum and she STILL chooses to invalidate me.

what makes it worse is that another person in my friend group self-diagnosed with autism and dx friend is so validating of him. which is good for self-dx, but it makes me upset that we receive different treatment from her despite both having the same symptoms and diagnosing with the same thing (which may be a selfish thought, i have no idea but i don't intend it to be). self-dx doesn't ever point this out, then dx and him act like they're the only autistic people in our friend group, and it gives very much a "you can't sit with us" vibe. therefore there's only two people in my friend group who i'm fully comfortable with talking to about my neurodiversity (and are now aware of this issue but don't really know how to help).

ig it's just starting to piss me off. every time i post about or even mention autism i hear dx's voice in the back of my mind telling me i'm not really autistic. do you have any ideas on how to handle this? i've been friends with this person since we were in kindergarten and she's a great friend besides this, so i don't wanna cut her out of my life or anything, but i really wanna call her out on this bs without making her feel bad or making her too upset.

i'm so sorry if this is bothersome at all ghjfks feel free to ignore if thats better. thank you again for your past help, your posts have been so nice and comforting to see <33

hey anon! i remember you. im glad that post helped!

sounds like your friend has some internalised ableism going on. thats a real shame.

its absolutely not selfish of you to be upset that you're being treated differently than your other friend, thats really unfair.

also her arguments dont make any sense??? if you have enough autism symptoms then. you're autistic. thats how that works? you wouldn't be like "well. you have a cough and a runny nose but you just dont seem like you have a cold." like thats. a fucking weird thing to say?

idk what to suggest honestly. i know it really sucks but, maybe its time to start to pull away from this friend a little? it sounds like she doesnt really respect you.

if you're going to call her out on it, shes probably going to feel bad. you're going to have to reconcile that im afraid. its the consequences of her own actions that will cause it though, its not your fault that she has upset you and invalidated you. you deserve to assert your feelings and boundaries.

at the end of the day, you know yourself best, and if you think you have autism (after doing your research and a lot of self reflection) then you probably are. self diagnosis is absolutely valid, no matter what anyone says.

[n1ghtm3ds]

I know it is considered ableist to tell people that if they are going to go out into public they need to shower/wear deodorant/etc but Im actually going to play my autism card and say that it is ableist and inconsiderate of those of us who are hyper-sensory to be in public especially enclosed spaces like transportation or places you will have to stand in line next to other people if you do not smell good.

Like if you just went to the gym, do not get out of your car to use an enclosed ATM or stop at the store for groceries before you shower.

Like I know. I know it is hard to shower. I know it is hard to stay fresh while you're depressed or mentally ill. You should not be excluded from public spaces for struggling with hygiene but you also must consider that it would be inconsiderate of the people you are sharing a space with to smell bad. And this doesnt go just for body odor you also shouldnt eat strongly scented foods in public or smoke/vape in public like once your existence becomes inconsiderate of others you need to re-assess.

But like I have a neurological disability that literally interprets your bad smell as being in physical pain. Imagine a gun going off next to your ear, or being blasted with a bright light (both of which are legally classified as torture to/by even NT people) but the sensation is in your nose. You don't have the right to cause me physical pain while I share a space with you, and if you smell bad in public that is what you are doing.

If you have not showered in a few days and cant bring yourself to shower, wash your ass/armpits at the sink with a wash cloth or spray yourself with some Febreze at the very least. Like I get it I really do I have periods where I also struggle to shower but it is summer, if you are going to be in public you need to have showered within the past 12 hours (preferably within the past 3-6, and applied deodorant). If you work out or preform a strenuous activity that makes you sweat you need to shower, and change out of your sweaty clothes and into fresh ones, and not bring those clothes into public again until you have washed them.

But like yes homeless people/people who dont have access to a shower exist (i was one) and sometimes there is no getting around going in public and i do NOT think the solution is to expel people who smell bad from public spaces because there are some situations where people really don't have access to showers (I think the solution is to provide free mental healthcare and house the homeless so that people can live their best most dignified least obstructive lives possible)

I guess some practical solutions to this would be like I said housing the homeless or at least making public free shower stations commonplace so they can stay clean. Sensory hours which do not permit BO or perfumes at places like supermarkets and banks. Compassionate loved ones supporting your mentally ill friend to take a shower and treating it like the accomplishment that it is (I literally needed to implement a sticker chart to get myself to shower after my last mental breakdown, find what works).

Like don't get it twisted for one second I do not want disenfranchised people to feel unwelcome in public spaces and making them feel unwelcome does no good we need to actually solve the solution on why their presence is obstructive in a shared space. But that doesn't change the fact that most of the bad-smelling people i have to share spaces with during the summer are people like gross NT hippies or gym people like I said I understand that sometimes things get bad and you shouldn't be scorned for it but your loved ones should also not be letting you let your self care spiral out of control. Ive had periods of depression where I struggled to shower myself like I said I get it but at least 70% of people who offend me with their smell during the summer months are athletes and hippies.

I also have strong feelings about not defecating in public bathrooms unless it is a dire emergency.

But this guy with a gym outfit on smelled SO BAD in the bank today i almost left and came back when he was gone if i hadn't already waited on line 5 minutes before he came in. Also worth noting that this problem is like 85% male. Like bring a change of clothes and use the free shower there it isnt that hard for gods sake WASH YOUR BALLS.

But once again let me make very clear that Im not saying ostracize people who struggle with or do not have access to hygiene from public spaces and the solution is providing these people with hygiene and dignity but it is rude af and literally causes physical pain for people like me when you have the option and choose not to like smelling bad is one of the most passively inconsiderate things you could do if you have the choice to not smell bad with a small amount of inconvenience.

Not trying to start a grand discourse or anything just mad that this asshole sent me into bitch mode for the night by smelling bad at the bank because my mood since has been rancid.

[getitoffyourchestofficial]

hi this is a lot im sorry. i love to say words and dump shit that upsets me with no real correlation. my bad /gen (genuine) (idk if you know tone indicators im sorry ough)

you dont really Have to cook up a proper response to this i just need to put it somewhere where i wont immediately get piles of advice that i cant use. i know its well-meaning but ultimately the whole situation is ou of anyones control

(also putting this 🎪 here so i can try to find it later)

im stuck in a sisyphean nightmare of a weekly cycle: i have a good day -> my mood skyrockets -> i have a bad day -> my mood plummets -> rinse and repeat. at this point i think it might be a mental condition bc something doesnt even really have to Ruin My Day, i just have to face a minor inconvenience and then suddenly im all doom-and-gloom depression for 3-5 business days before springing back up as if nothing ever happened to do it all again. my mom says i might have bpd or bipolar disorder (i always get the two confused) because she has it and we just havent seen anyone about it, mostly because we dont have the money to see any doctors most of the time. i also kinda dont wanna have either of them? not in like an asshole way but in a these-people-face-stigma-that-i-dont-know-if-i-can-emotionally-handle way. in a im already queer and fat and poor and disabled in multipled ways and overall unsavory to neurotypicals/cishets/Default Settings way. yknow

todays inciting incident was a shitty shitty halloween carnival that didnt even have the thing i was excited for, didnt have any food, had lines that were miles long (hyperbole), was too hot, and i only got 8 shitty halloween things from -- half of which were lollipops, with half of those just being the same 2 flavors but Again. we stayed for 2 hours before my mom decided she didnt wanna be out of the house anymore as usual. i cant be too mad at her because shes mentally ill in the direction of "i dont want to go anywhere because my anxiety will spike" but unfortunately im mentally ill in the direction of "if i cannot leave the house to Do Things at my own pace at least once a week i will fall into a deep depression" so we clash pretty bad most of the time. this was also following multiple minor inconveniences mind you. and was also trailed by multiple minor inconveniences. it just has not gone well. this halloween is just shaping up to suck bc i was supposed to have a whole party but we had money issues so it had to be cut down to just 2 people for a sleepover, then one of them went out to see his grandma in another state and the other is apparently in the fucking hospital right now??? at least according to his posts. and i cant blame them for these either! schedules conflict and sometimes you go to the Fuckig Hosital. its out of anyones control but it still feels like shit. so its looking like my only shot at having any fun this halloween is the trunk-or-treat at my school and idk if im even allowed to go bc i had to drop out for mental health reasons and they told me i wasnt allowed on school grounds anymore. idk if that applies here. which btw. way to make a depressed kid feel worse. you can NEVER come to this high school again or we'll ARREST YOU. fuckin bullshit. BUT thats off topic the synopsis is that this halloween sucks so far and i dont really expect it to get better which extra sucks bc im turning 18 next year and i dont wanna let this be the last hurrah for my number one favorite holiday. i cant host fucking parties for my friends after then. im gonna be busy trying to fuck off to the other end of the country. i wont have TIME for it. idk. it sucks. this sucks. fuck art and fuck you /ref (reference) /nbh (nobody here)

Ik you don't want advice for this so I'll just put it on the blog.

And idk if you want it but here's a tea

☕

[rindomness]

rin i am so deeply unwell about cecil palmer.

his mother didn't talk to him except to prophesise his death or remind him he doesn't exist.

his dad made him climb into a tree and get eaten by the smiling god??

he doesn't remember his childhood.

he used to go back to his abandoned childhood home and sleep on the sofa. it's probably demolished now.

he can't go to the grocery store anymore because he's afraid of auctions. and for good reason !!

he was raised by his sister and she always resented him for it.

he describes his family history as a ghost story. his childhood was a ghost story. his life is a ghost story.

he keeps having to watch other versions of himself die.

he didn't choose to be the voice of night vale, it was chosen for him whether he liked it or not. he probably can't quit or resign, he'll probably be the voice until he dies.

leonard burton died in his arms. his interns keep dying or leaving or growing older than him and moving on with their lives while he stays where he is.

his main coping mechanism is Denial and drinking to forget

he dies in a tree every year???? interesting lifestyle choice

terrible things keep happening and he can't do anything about it except narrate !!

also a mirror is gonna kill him. how is he supposed to deal with that. can he not go to walmart?? cause they sell mirrors at walmart !! does he have to call the store before coming in like "hiiii can u pls cover your mirrors or put them away". does carlos do most of the shopping just in case? then what did he do before carlos? does he have mirrors on his car? do his friends cover their mirrors when they know he's coming over? do all reflective surfaces make him nervous? what is it like knowing that such an everyday item can kill you? does he wake up every morning and wonder if today is the day?

SORRY FOR THIS you just reminded me of 171 and that episode makes me feral

DUDE ME TOO WE CAN BE UNWELL ABOUT THIS WEIRD GUY TOGETHER

the tree thing makes me unhinged like WHAT is going ON with that. if it is the smiling god that brings up even more questions. mostly questions about the smiling god honestly!

his entire family is a wreck i really do hope that part of him and Abby talking again was them, like. talking about that a little bit because could you IMAGINE being in that position. like. what do you even do about that

him in 171 being like did your mother tell you she was an oracle before she left like WAUGH. we know that his position as the Voice was prophesied his mom was an oracle was she the one who told him? if so was that the only interaction they had that wasn't her telling him he was going to die/didn't exist or fucking hiding from him? considering his Entire familial situation it's a wonder he's as functional as he is.

the mirrors i want to scream about the mirrors ok . ok. like. YEAH does it apply to every reflective surface or just mirrors? going grocery shopping at all has to be a nightmare yeah no kidding. you know those mirrors sometimes in the drink aisle? how the fuck do you deal with that? do you just shut your eyes? do you just avoid it entirely? I know carlos doesnt do all their shopping bc cecil keeps reading off requests for him to pick stuff up from the store in texts so like How did he deal with that. do night vale stores just not have mirrors?

driving must be a nightmare too you're right i didn't even think about that before holy shit. Can he drive? How? You need to use your mirrors while you're driving. does he walk everywhere? does he have like a bike? a scooter even? i think he can drive bc of first date but like that must be So stressful. I'm just. so. so mentally ill about the mirrors. he was so fucking stressed out by eunomia's visor it made me stressed out how do you lead a functioning life that way

in conclusion thank you and i wanna chew electrical wires about this man

[redrum-sketches]

the thing i hate about mapleshade discourse these days is that despite people being aware that warriors is very sexist in its writing, no one applies that to mapleshade's entire novella which is dripping with warriors sexism from the very premise alone. it is entirely about a she-cat who had a forbidden romance much like every she-cat in the main series, and yet shes punished WAY harsher than any of those she-cats who did the exact same thing so the author can have mapleshade "go crazy" and show the readers that this is the tragic yet wrong way to react to sexist injustice. how dare you lash out at the people who unfairly screwed you over instead of suffering in silence like the noble leafpool or yellowfang. sure maple is kind of a brat but being a bit of a brat doesnt mean shes gotta be punished for wanting a happy family. its strange because warriors actively pushes she-cats to have forbidden romances, but only as long as they feel guilty for it i guess? because from the way its written, maple is brutally punished by the author for the crime of hoping and expecting that her life will be good despite her supposed crime that shouldnt even be a crime. but a lot of people who dont like maple kind of seem to accept the fact that she fucked up on the basis having a forbidden mate, despite these people also saying that the rule about forbidden mates is stupid. or they dont like her because she killed people for the wrong reasons or something, when in reality its the author who is making maple commit murder to push this awful trope of a woman being hurt in some horrible unfair way and then becoming a villain and hurting everyone because the writers are misogynists who think traumatic experience = mass murder. especially considering maple hallucinates her kits telling her to kill other cats, which is a pretty disgusting portrayal of mental illness even if they likely didn’t intend it to be read as mental illness. its also telling given how warriors writes male villains, who are never really given any sort of tragic backstory for why they have to murder everyone and if they are given a backstory, it is usually incredibly flimsy and obviously meant for the reader to roll their eyes at, like ashfur for example. also unlike a lot of the male villains, maple showed basically zero signs of murderous intent before her punishment, the only thing she did was be somewhat rude and lie to people about her kits BECAUSE OF COURSE SHE WOULD THATS WHAT EVERY SHE-CAT DOES. im not saying maple is a good character because shes not, but she wasnt written to be a good character. her entire premise is a sexist trope. if maple was written by authors who didnt have so much internalized misogyny, she wouldnt be a murderer, she'd be a victim

[deathleadsarc]

may i just, go over why making her a Drow from a Lolth-sworn family was my best idea?? Here's some info on Lolth

Lolth was a goddess of cold cruelty not out of place in the darkest depths of the endless Abyss, reveling in betrayal and bloodshed and toying with everyone from her minions to her victims. She not only enjoyed, but thrived upon torture, destruction, and death, whether personally performing it or causing it. Every interaction was ultimately done with malice, ill will seething from her every move, and even those who knew her well could be surprised by just how deep her viciousness went. Her malevolence could be compared to the rage of the brutal orc deity Gruumsh, but where his fury was as mindlessly violent as a force of nature, her malice was complicated and deliberate. Furthermore, Gruumsh could at least be said to be steady and constant in his hate, whilst Lolth's was utterly capricious.

Lolth demanded absolute fealty and obedience from all drow, and questioning her motives or wisdom was considered a sin. This applied even to male drow despite her considering them to be unclean, and she took vengeful notice if one abandoned her faith. She also secretly desired the worship of other types of elves, as well as humans, and enjoyed corrupting them into her service even more than torment and devastation. In contrast, she fomented unending chaos amongst the drow, eternally setting them against each other. Ostensibly this was to weed out the weak and complacent, leaving only the strongest, cruelest, and most devious to serve her, and to some degree she believed this, but it was also simply for her own amusement and supremacy.

Despite her demands for loyalty, those who blindly obeyed Lolth's demands would find themselves quickly led to their deaths. In truth, Lolth's capricious nature meant that there were few hard-and-fast rules, and much uncertainty as to her desires. The successful had to pay attention to her ever-changing wants, for her favor was fickle, and those who she played favorites with (a frequent occurrence) would inevitably find her turning on them without warning. The Spider Queen was technically capable of displays of kindness and aiding those she fancied, and would always give one chance for the disfavored to redeem themselves, but this usually meant a dangerous mission and in others might just mean silently watching their next move. She could never be relied on and her ultimate motivation was almost always manipulative.

Lolth's promotion of infighting amongst her worshipers led many to believe she was insane, and this assessment was not baseless. Indeed, ever since her fall from grace her sanity had frayed and fractured until she became the petty, conniving monster she was commonly known as. Her will was not merely fluid, but often times contradictory, although even if she was mad, the drow placed more importance on a deep and devious sense of cunning than mental stability. Ironically, for all her demands for obedience, nothing demanded her attention and admiration more than treachery, even towards herself (if only temporarily). Guile and political ruthlessness were the signs of her favorite servants, and she ultimately admired ambition more than she did loyalty.

So naturally, the 'King' in Qistina's main story has become a Queen in BG3 for her to overcome. While she would respect and revere Lolth in the beginning, she does NOT appreciate being controlled or trapped. What a better choice than for the queen of spiders to be the only thing that could trap her? Anyway, I'm reading up on the dnd lore surrounding it so I can better flesh out her nice backstory!! i just love it sm and really want to yell about it

it also means that she doesnt have to be a human age, i could just as easily keep her around 536 :) you know. the Drow do live up to 750 years!

[nightfallsystem]

Go fucking hang yourself on a tree you son of a bitch. Your posts aren't even that funny or interesting. Plus, you're a fucking furry (🤮), a faker of mental illness, a weirdo who pretends they're an animal, a user of ridiculous pronouns, and a coiner of fake "genders", all at once. You also believe that cringe culture is dead, when it's still alive. Plus, you use those cringe emoticons. It's 2023, why are you still unable to become normal?

hmm, ill humor you. i think the suicide baiting is a bit over done now though buddy :/ like do better??? its just really overused and i think you should try better?

the anti furry part might be ok but it seems that youre just jealous i have a hobby and i just feel bad for you now. the faker of mental illness part doesnt even apply to me as ive never even claimed to have a mental illness? so minus points for that one. the whole "weirdo who pretends theyre an animal" thing also doesnt apply? you shouldve sent that while my otherkin alters were fronting, try better, minus points for that. i do like the "a user of ridiculous pronouns" though, cuz thats more of a compliment to me so thank you!!! ^_^ . idk how to feel about the "and a coiner of fake "genders"" because gender is a social construct and kind of stupid imo, like gender is indeed in your head, so your head can be like "yeah ur gender is [x]" and you cant do much about it, so again, minus points for that one.

the "You also believe that cringe culture is dead" thing is honestly just weird, it is dead buddy, WE'RE ON TUMBLR.COM, all of us are cringe but that makes us free. to be honest like everyone who participates in cringe culture is, like actually really sad :( i mean you spend all your time caring about harmless stuff that people do, instead of going outside, spending time with your friends and loved ones, etc. so honestly instead of making me feel insulted i just genuinely feel bad for you, so again, minus points for that one.

I do think the "plus, you still use those cringe emoticons" is kind of funny, because its just emoticons, and its better than using 🙂 because most emojis just dont get my point across yknow, im feeling ^_^ not 😊. Your last sentence, "It's 2023, why are you still unable to become normal" thing is like lowkey really funny to me, because, buddy... youre not normal. like, im sorry to break it to you but it really isnt normal to be this upset about people just being themselves on the internet tbh. and then to like act on it? and send a lame ask about it? thats really weird... i mean you seem to kind of like me to go through all the effort of writing this to send it to me... do you have a crushhhh????? o_O i wont judge

so to rate this out of 10, considering this more made me kinda shy but it did make me laugh, probably a 3.7/10. you should really try better tbh, come back with better content.