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#also this is like a fake ad that they did for fun
liloinkoink · 2 days
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HEY GUYS CANNOT BELIEVE I HAVE TO SAY THIS BUT DO NOT MAKE A C.AI BOT OF ME, LIKE LITERALLY ME ???????
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girl am i in the twilight zone right now. what is this.
hey guys so like fun fact in case you did not know i am a real human person. you can message me. my ask box has been open all like ten years i have been on this website. my messages have been open since they added that feature to tumblr. youre allowed to just talk to me. you do not have to make a fake, 2D version of me to roleplay talking to me
related, i am a real human person, and this is an incredibly weird and dehumanizing thing to do. i don’t know how to explain that any more clearly. i didn’t think i would need to? like. i’m not a creator playing an RP character. i am not fictional. i am literally just a guy on tumblr. this is really fucking a weird thing to do to me
also, i am very vocally anti generative ai and anti chatbot. this is not only incredibly dehumanizing, but incredibly violating of my principles as a writer and as a person. i have never been shy about this. i talk about it all the time. this is incredibly disrespectful
but just like. to reiterate. make sure this is fully and clearly stated, bc apparently it needs to be stated explicitly
1) do not make AI chatbots of me. i am a human being who is very easily accessible. you can just talk to me. my messages are open
2) do not make AI chat bots based on my writing or characters.
3) do not put any of my writing through any kind of generative ai. ever.
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poepill · 1 year
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happy belated valentines day quodo upon thee! originally posted on ao3 for the quodo minifest, this was my valentines for @chacusha, who organized the event! i had a ton of fun drawing them and im definitely looking forward to next year <333
+ bonus art based on the comic by Kate Beaton, Javert is in Slash Fiction:
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rorsry · 1 year
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watched uhh dorothy returns ro wizard of oz (2013) and i'd give it a 6.5/10 in general but entertainment wise i'd give it an 8.5 (tbf i was watching it with my brother idk how i'd rate it if i was alone) theres a part where they need a boat and dorothy snaps a piece of wood off a tree who yells in pain and then every tree there starts throwing rocks and acorns at her but then it cuts to a tree hunched over and hes like "take me... take me." and i csnt properly explain why it's so unbelievably funny. the line delivery makes him sound so accepting like he's really willing to die to help dorothy get a boat and i can't stop thinking about it
#also watched dino king. uh. 29 minutes in my brother and i thought it was gonna end soon so we paused and saw we still had an hour left#and we both visibly went HUH??? and i was like are we gonna power through this movie or watch khumba......and he chose to power through#for a dinosaur movie it's not bad i actually really like what they tried going for? ie using footage of real landscape and cgi-ing dinos#in it to make it seem like it's Real Life. obviously the cgi is so very noticable but they did pretty good👍🏼#when speckles (main character) fell into water instead of cgi-ing the water the dropped something irl but put his model over ir#which i find neat i didnt think they'd do that. kinda sad at the lack of blood when the dinos would kill each other#also speckles' family dies which i expected and when the timeskip happens and he finds a girl and then she dies i expected however i did no#expect them to kill two out of three kids like i'm glad junior survived but god damn after the first one died i was hoping the last two#would survive at the very least. also fuck one eyed i thought he was just survivng at first but no he literally started beef#with a one year old dinosaur baby and decided Yeah Im Gonna Ruin Your Life Forever Buddy#my brother and i when speckles finally kills one eyed: yoooo YOOOOOO#movie would have heen better with like 98% more blood but when they did sue blood they used both cgi and fake irl#which i'll admit was kinda cool#fuck you one eye i fucking hate you#ok anywaus we tried watching khumba but didnt bc it was getting late so we watched the first 20mins and then skipped to the end#i think it wouldve been a nice movie? i have no idea but i mean i didnt hate what i saw#if you guys rver wanna watch a movie just got to free with ads on youtube ive been obsessing over those for months now#btw dino movies are very boring to me i forgot to add that. so yeah dino king IS boring to me but i had fun
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tired-teacher-blog · 3 months
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Adult Bakugou is worlds apart from how he used to be as a teen.
His prominent scowl is now replaced with a more relaxed expression, and his tense shoulders are now a lot looser.
He is no longer on edge and wishing for everyone's demise, as his years of experience in the pro hero world have taught him patience and empathy.
He's had fan girls lining up for a chance to receive some kind of acknowledgement from him since his first years as a UA student, and it's been -for the longest time- something that further pissed him off and ruined his mood as he didn't need the added attention.
_ "I still cannot believe you're the same guy who yelled at me and stormed out when I first confessed my feelings, at that moment you were as bratty as you used to be when we were still in school." you murmured softly in remembrance, tracing the faint scar on his right cheek, the same one he acquired years ago during that ruthless war everyone still remembers to this day.
To you, he was that one annoying friend whom you had to sit down and listen to while he complained about the countless love letters clogging up his locker, so when the day came -not too long ago- that you shyly revealed your feelings for the man, his reaction was nothing short of expected.
_ "Huh? What brought this on all of a sudden?" he tilted his head to meet your gaze, blinking a few times as a hint of blush dusted the tips of his ears, "besides, I already told you I only reacted the way I did because I thought you were making fun of me."
_ "That's fair, but I'm glad you gave me a chance to explain myself.." you paused for a second to adjust your posture and straddle his slender waist instead of leaning against him like you had been moments before, a smile found its way to your lips as you carried on, "you've really come a long way from the brat you used to be."
His thin eyebrows raised in apparent surprise, but his firm grasp on your thighs remained unshaken, "I have?"
_ "You truly have." a giggle escaped you as you cradled his handsome face, leaning in to place a quick kiss on the corner of his mouth before pulling back to admire the mysterious smirk curving up his lips.
_ "Care to explain?" but he didn't really need the clarification, he is one of the most intelligent people you know, and is sure to have noticed the change occuring in himself without anyone spelling it out, but you still went along with his charade, just to please him.
_ "Well, let's see.." your gaze shifted and lips pursed as you tapped your chin in fake contemplation before continuing, "you're more tolerable now, I mean you're kinda tame and boring like a sweet grandpa, and also.."
_ "Hey come on," he interrupted your obvious trick with an amused chuckle and a playful smack on your butt, "well I still got the girl didn't I?"
_ "Yes you did."
His eyes gleamed hearing your words, and his arms slid up to surround your back and bring you closer to himself before groaning the demand you knew was coming, "kiss me then."
That was all it took for you to close the remaining distance between you two and claim his lips in a breathtaking lip lock.
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dcxdpdabbles · 5 months
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Are you going to make another part for the Angel and Demon Brat? If you do, please have them fumbling and Damian + Danny taking full advantage. Also, could you do something about Cujo please? I don’t think Danny would move without him
Danny will admit that he is having a little too much fun with his birth father's family. But could one blame him? They made it all too easy. Also, he was starting to see why Damian had been a bit hesitant to tell them about him.
It was not that they threatened him in any way, but he could see how hard it was for them to have a normal relationship with anyone. Just his small forms of affection made a lot of the Waynes' skin crawl.
They still gave in regardless. Danny worries it's the most hugs any of them have gotten in years. It couldn't be mentally healthy. Or could it? Some people didn't like to be touched, and that was fair.
He did have to play a careful balance.
He knew that if the League of Assians found out about Damian caring for him, Danny would go from being a Lost sibling to a Dead sibling. The Waynes on the other hand were under the impression that denying him anything would cause Time to erease him- not that Clockwork would dare. Who would try his spicy salsas then?- so they were much more careful in how they handled him.
Tim was his favorite. Danny could tell the other boy really liked being acknowledged, and unlike Dick, who thrived on being the center of attention, Tim struggled to let people know.
So Danny had small ways to give him what he desperately craved and had a little fun with it.
He carefully knocks on the boy's door room, clutching his pillow and blanket. There was a small pause where he could hear Tim scruffling around, likely trying to hide the coffee maker under his bed. Danny didn't have the heart to tell him the whole mansion but Alfred and Bruce knew about his bedroom coffee maker.
Maybe he should hint about it tomorrow at breakfast? Watch Tim sweat?
He shifts his face into an innocent expression when Tim opens the door. The other squints at him, likely catching his more mischievous expression but unwilling - or unable- to call him out on it.
"Angel Brat?" Tim says weary. The nickname rolls off his tongue so easily that one would think Tim has always called him that. Danny applauds his acting ability.
"Hi, Tim! I'm here for our bi-weekly ritual," he chirps, pushing the confused teen aside to step in. He gently rolls his heart pump behind him, mindful of the wires. It's on top of his gas tank, which he chose to wear so he could breathe some clear ectoplasm.
Gotham's ectoplasm was polluted with negative emotions, and it was giving him a headache.
None of the machines was actually doing anything—his heart rate will never be regulated due to his powers—but it was the perfect excuse for why Danny wasn't seen that often in public.
Barbara had gone back into Gotham gossip rags, publishing fake articles and small rumors on the internet that dated to the first day Damian arrived. This gave him some proof of existing before, but with the "timeline reset," it would make sense why no one could recall Danny.
As far as the Gotham citizens were concerned, Danny was an unproven rumor at best. People were asking about him but weren't daring enough to demand who Danny was.
Barbara was the best like that, and Danny should convince Damian to give her and her dad an even longer, all-expenses-paid vacation. She deserved it.
"Our bi-weekly ritual. Of course. Must have have slipped my mind." Tim carefully articulates. His words are clipped enough Danny can tell he's confused. Danny beams at him nonetheless, sitting on the ground carefully after he finishes adding his pillow and blanket to Tim's bed.
He leans his back against Tim's beg, crosses his legs underneath him, and takes a deep breath of ectoplasm.
Tim pauses for only a moment before walking over and sitting cross-leg in front of Danny. The younger boy pays him no mind while fumbling with the bag he brought along.
Danny began pulling out all his needed supplies. Five candles- each with a different color flame are left in a small circle. Five bottles sealed with wax and labeled with different named potions are carefully added to the center of the circle- he makes sure that the glitter liquid inside does not shake too much less the small surprise is noticed.
Then he pulls out a large book, with the image of a screaming skull on the cover. It's large enough that he has to set it on the ground, a thump produced from the weight.
He then carefully claps his hands four times, switching Tim's lights off so the only glow is the green, blue, pink, purple, and yellow light of the candle.
Tim looks a bit distressed. likely thinking Danny was about to start practicing the Black Magic or something. It's hard to keep a straight face as he fights off a giggle at the expression being aimed his way while he flips through the pages.
Tim carefully taps his hand against a bracelet on his wrist, which connects to the Bat's communication lines. The rest of the Bats are probably thinking that Tim is in danger even though he was supposed to be on rest duty and have tuned into the conversation. Danny isn't supposed to know that, though, since he is not "healthy" enough to be a vigilante, so he ignores it.
"Alright, should I start or you?" Danny asks when he lands on the page he was looking for. It's in Latin, which he knows Tim can read but that doesn't stop it from being creepy.
"You can start first."
"Really? You never let me go first in the bi-weekly ritual!" Danny cheers, leaning down to the page. From the corner of his eye, he can see the distress blooming more on Tim's face.
"I'm feeling...generous. I think you're old enough to start our bi-weekly ritual that requires colorful candles, a large black skull book in Latin, and five colored potions." Tim says obviously repeating the materials to the eavesdropping Bats.
"Thanks, Tim! Okay, here we go." Danny holds out his hand above the book muttering in Latin.
"Oh great, Clockwork, master of time, head my call and tell me the answer to my inquiry." Danny quickly switches to English as he grabs the potion in pink glitter. Giving it a good shake, he continues. "Does Kon-El think Tim is cute?"
The glitter shifts until a dice appears with the words- More likely than you think is visible. Danny squeals showing Tim, "Omg Tim, you have a chance!"
Tim's face falters and then turns an alarming shade of red. "What?!"
"Wait the following questions!" Danny reaches for the remaining bottles, making sure to go in the color order of the candles. Will Kon ask Tim to marry him? Yes! Where will they live? A mansion. How many kids will they have? fifteen! What will Tim's future job be? A photographer!"
Danny flips the page over to a table of data, squabbling down the answers. "Okay, you're going to get married to Kon, live in a mansion, have fifteen kids, and be a photographer. This is the third time in a row that Kon has married you. I think Clockwork is on your side for this one, Tim. It's my turn!"
Danny pretended he couldn't hear Jason laughing his ass off in Tim's earpiece or Dick's voice cry out. "No fair! I want to play spooky MASH on a bi-weekly basis."
Tim is beet red, fumbling with his hands. "Who-i-what-?"
Danny frowns. "Are you okay Tim? Should we skip Bi-boys night?"
"Bi-boy night?!" Tim squeaks.
"Yeah! I thought I would give our hang-out night a nickname, and since we mostly end up talking about cute girls and boys, I thought we could name it bi-boy night. You know since you're the only one in the family that's bi like me? I know no one will want to date me. I'm too sick...but it's nice to have a brother who gets crushes."" Danny hunches his shoulders a little ignoring the way Tim's eyes widen a bit with affection. He's touched that Danny came to him for this. Fool. "We can skip my turn. It's not like I'll have someone anyway."
Jason has stopped laughing, and Steph softly whispers. "That's so cute and sad. Who's been hurting our baby?"
Tim swallows. "No. We are not skipping your turn. We are going to play this game because anyone would be tripping over themselves for you."
"Really?" Danny smiles hopefully at Tim. Tim nods firmly, then narrows his eyes.
"No dating until you are sixteen."
"I know." Danny rolls his eyes "You've said that before."
"Good."
"But I can still have crushes right? Because I have one on Jon."
"Jon Kent?" Tim asks at the same time Bruce growls the name.
"You won't tell Dad will you?" Danny asks after nodding and blushing. Damian told him yesterday that Jon pissed him off, and with the power to heat up his ectoplasm just behind his checks, causing them to flush, he thinks he just found a good way to make the super regret upsetting his brother.
Nothing like an overprotective Bat clan to dish out vengence.
"No," Tim says, grinding his teeth. "No, I won't tell. But since I already got married to Kon maybe we can try someone else."
Danny's eyes sparkle with barely concealed glee. "Okay, let's use my second crush! He's super cooler anyway"
"Of course, what's his name?" Tim asks picking up the pink bottle.
"Your friend Bernard," Danny says, knowing Danm well, Tim had an undiscovered crush on the guy. He watches with glee as Tim chocks on his spit.
"What?!"
"Yeah, he's got muscular arms, and he can cook," Danny sighs dreamily. "Damian thinks he's hot too."
"No." Tim gasps.
"I do," Damian says over the cons to the collective shock of everyone. "Dowd has a fine physique. He's also great with animals. I approve of Daniel's involvement with him."
Danny's lower lip wobbles. "No? I can't play the game?"
Tim takes one look at him before caving. "Does Bernard Dowd think Danny is cute......it says no."
"Oh. If Clockwork doesn't think so, then I guess it's not meant to be," Danny sighs.
"Who is Clockwork?" Tim asks, placing the potion down.
Danny blinks. "You don't remember Clockwork? Lately, everyone has been forgetting important things around here. Is something wrong?"
Danny allows his body to flicker a bit with his powers, acting as if he didn't notice as Tim grows alarmed.
"I'm joking! It's a joke! Of course, I know Clockwork! Ha ha ha! Why don't we do the next thing on our Bi-Boy Night!? Want to watch a movie?!" Tim practically leaps out of his seat racing to TV. "What are you in the mood for? Comedy or horror?"
"A musical!"
"A musical!?"
However, Damian has to stop on a roof to laugh into the concrete as he listens to Drake- an active hater of musicals- try to sing along to something called High School Musical and act like he loves it as Danny sings with him. He can hear Drake's blood pressure rise with every new line
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waitimcomingtoo · 1 year
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Interception
Pairing: Peter Parker x Best Friend!Reader
Synopsis: Flash’s pool party turns into a kissing party and Peter fears you’ll kiss someone else
Masterlist
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“Hobo. Bride of hobo. Are you coming to my party Friday?” Flash said as he held up a bright orange flyer that had the details of a pool party at his house on it.
“What party?” Peter asked as he shut his locket.
“The party you weren’t invited to. Later suckers.” Flash laughed obnoxiously, flipped you both off, and then ran away. You and Peter looked at each other before shaking your heads in disbelief.
“Wow. I haven’t been called a sucker in…ever.” You realized.
“Me either. I thought it was one of those fake high school experiences that only happens in movies. Like a bully asking for your lunch money or dunking your head in a toilet.” Peter replied.
“Or making a volcano for the science fair.” You added, making Peter smile.
“Yeah. Exactly.” He said as he looked at you fondly for understanding him.
“So what are we gonna do Friday while the rest of our school goes to Flash’s super cool party?” You asked as you threw some books in your locker.
“Oh, we’re hanging out on Friday? I didn’t know that.” Peter blushed at your nonchalant invitation. You’d never hung out just the two of you before and the fact that it seemed like an obvious choice of plans for you made Peter happy.
“Well, duh. Neds definitely gonna be invited ever since him and Flash bonded over getting left behind on the field trip freshman year. We should do something.”
“Just you and me?” Peter asked with a hopeful smile.
“Yeah. It’ll be fun.” You smiled back and wondered if the thought of alone time was as exciting for you as it was for Peter.
“Maybe we can grab some ice cream and then hang out on my roof. It’s pretty nice up there once you scare the bats away.”
“I love that idea. It’s a date.” You replied without thinking. You face dropped when you realized what you called it while Peter turned bright red.
“Or whatever we want to call it.” You quickly added with a forced laugh.
“We can call it a date.” Peter shrugged, taking you by surprise. You smiled at him just as the bell rang.
“Well then it’s a date. Catch you later, P.” You squeezed Peters arm before going to your next class. Peter watched you leave with a dreamy smile on his face. This Friday, you’d finally be going on a date. Whether it was an ice cream date, a friend date, or a date date, he was just happy to be going with you.
The next day, Flash caught up to you on campus and walked with you to your next class.
“Hey, pookie. I would like to formally invite you to my pool party.” Flash said as he held out a flyer for his party.
“Really? What made you change your mind?” You laughed in surprise and took the flyer.
“I realized something and had a change of heart.” He replied.
“Oh yeah? What did you realize?”
“That inviting you gets I mean to see you in a bathing suit.” Flash said, making you laugh in shock.
“Gross. But thanks. For the invite, I mean. Not for the other thing.” You said and shoved the flyer in your backpack.
“You can bring Parker too. Since you two are dating or cousins or whatever.”
“Neither.” You chuckled. “But yeah, I’ll bring him.”
“Perf. See you Friday, my little cinnamon apple.” Flash blew you a kiss and walked away just as Peter approached you.
“What did he want?” Peter faked a laugh and hoped it hid the jealousy he felt when he saw Flash blowing you a kiss.
“Good news. Flash kindly extended the invitation to us.” You said and took the flyer out to show Peter.
“Oh, really? So we can go?” Peter asked and hoped he didn’t sound as disappointed as he felt. He could care less about a stupid party. He just wanted to be with you.
“Yeah. If you want.” You shrugged, also not really wanting to go. Your date with Peter sounded much more appealing.
“Sure. It’ll be fun.” Peter lied through a smile.
“Maybe we can still get ice cream after. Just the two of us.” You suggested, making Peters smile turn genuine.
“Yeah. If the party’s lame, we can just slip out and go on our date.” Peter said just to use the word “date” again. You smiled sheepishly and nodded your head.
“It probably will be lame. We can stay for the food and then have some real fun. Just me and you.”
“Ned will probably want to come with us, though.” Peter realized as his disappointment returned.
“Too bad.” You shrugged. “He can hang with us anytime. But he can’t come on our date.”
Peter grinned as you said everything he hoped you would. Your date was still on the table and he might even get to see you in a bikini before it. That was the only thing making either of you want to go to the party.
When Friday came, there was prep to be done. You and Peter went to your dorms after class and began to prepare for the evening ahead. Peter laid out all his swim trunks before trying them all on to see which one he could best impress you in. Meanwhile, you were looking in your floor length mirror and making an important decision.
“I’m gonna shave my entire body.” You whispered to yourself. When MJ came home from class a little while later, she found you covered neck to toe in shaving cream with a razor in your hand.
“Should I even ask?” She asked when you froze at the sound of her opening the door.
“Pool party.” You told her. “Peters gonna be there. I don’t want him to know I have body hair. He can’t see the hair on my upper thighs. He just can’t, MJ.”
“Every single person literally ever, including Peter, has body hair covering their entire body. He already knows you have hair on your thighs. Everyone does. Why do you have to do all this?” She couldn’t help but laugh as she gestured to your shaving cream covered body.
“Look, you don’t shave your armpits and that’s amazing and more power to you for not caring about society’s expectations for female body hair, but tonight, I do care. I care enough to need Peter to think I’m as sleek and slippery as an exfoliated baby dolphin covered in baby oil.”
“Fine. Give me a razor. I’ll do your back.” MJ sighed and held out her hand. You fist pumped before giving her a spare razor.
Peter was back in his room making sure he looked his best for you. He ended up in navy blue swim trunks and a fitted white T-shirt that you complimented once. He twirled around in front of his mirror and made sure everything looked right. When he was satisfied, he drenched himself in body spray, grabbed a towel, and headed to your dorm.
You rinsed off the shaving cream and put on a perfume that Peter said he liked once before changing into your bathing suit. You put your hair into two braids and threw a big shirt on over it just as Peter came knocking on your door. You gave MJ a look before throwing on a smile and opening the door.
“Hey, P. Oh, I like that shirt.” You complimented him as you leaned against your door.
“Oh, thanks.” Peter blushed even though he only wore that shirt for you. “I, uh, like your hair like that.”
“Thanks. I didn’t want the chlorine to dry it out.” You shrugged and tugged on one of your braids to draw attention to it.
“It’s cute.” Peter said in a weak voice, making your smile.
“Yeah? I’ll have to do it more often then.” You did your best to flirt. Peter laughed shyly and rubbed the back of his neck.
“You should. It looks really good on you.” He said without making eye contact. Something was most definitely in the air between you tonight and you both felt it. You touched your braid again not to draw attention to it, but to feel beneath your fingers what Peter was seeing.
“Damn. I thought the awkward friend hook up happens after the party. Should I leave?” MJ said from behind you. You hung your head in shame as Peter turned red.
“We’re leaving. Bye.” You gave her a look as you grabbed your bag and shut the door.
“Use protection! And I don’t mean sunblock.” She called after you from inside your dorm room.
“Oh my God. We need to get out of here.” You laughed in embarrassment and took Peters hand to pull him towards the elevator. Once you were in the elevator, you stood side by side and avoided eye contact since MJ had now made things awkward. You didn’t know how tonight was gonna go, but going to sleep as more than friends with Peter would be nice. Even if all that happened was a kiss, you’d be satisfied.
You and Peters hands bumped a few times as you walked to Flash’s house. You had a feeling in your gut that once you walked into this party, things were going to change. You could only hope they were changing for the better.
“Well look who it is. Frick and Frack. Welcome to my party.” Flash greeted you and Peter as you walked in through his gate. Flash’s house was naturally enormous and his pool looked like a lake. There was a water fall on one end, a diving board, and a tray of drinks going around on an inflatable table. Flash himself was in the tiniest pair of swim trunks you had ever seen. They were golden and had his name stitched across the butt, making you and Peter burst out laughing when you saw it.
“Hey Flash. Thanks for the invite.”
“My pleasure. Or, it will be once you drop that shirt.” Flash winked at you. “Anyways, hope you guys brushed your teeth before this.”
“Why?” You frowned. You had, of course, and so did Peter.
“Because this is a kissing party.” Flash said like it was obvious. Your eyebrows went up and you looked at Peter who was just as confused.
“Sorry, what? What the hell is a kissing party?” You laughed, thinking he was kidding.
“Duh. It’s a party where you kiss as a competition.” Flash rolled his eyes. “The person at the end of the party who kisses the most people wins.”
“Wins what?” Peter wondered.
“The Cuban Rizzle Crisis.” Flash shrugged. “You’re crowned Rizz Khalifa. The Rizzly Bear. You get a degree in Quantum Rizzics. You become the Rizzard of Oz. You star in Harry Potter and the Rizzoner of Azcaban. You feel me?”
There was a long, long silence as you and Peter stared at Flash. Flash’s gaze was piercing as he looked back at the two of you with no shame.
“What?” Peter said finally, making Flash roll his eyes.
“Just kiss as many people as you can and keep count.”
“But can’t multiple people win if they all kiss everyone at the party?” You pointed out.
“Not everyone plays.” Flash shrugged. “Plus, people are always coming and going. There is never a fixed amount of people here. And you can deny a kiss if you think the person is gross.”
“So you probably won’t get any kisses then.” Peter said, making you laugh.
“Suck my balls, Parker.” Flash scoffed before turning to you.
“By the way, cutie pie, that’s an open invitation.” He said with a wink.
“Hard pass.” You replied.
“All right. Let me know if you change your mind, pookie.” He winked at you again and you looked away.
“I won’t. And I don’t think I’m gonna play. I don’t really get down like that.” You told Flash. Peter internally sighed in relief. He had feared that you were gonna play and end up kissing other people while he had to watch. But luckily, you were on the same page.
“Me either.” Peter added. You looked at him in surprise before smiling.
“Fine. You two can just make out in the corner or call your grandma or something.” Flash grumbled.
“Again, not dating and not cousins.” You corrected Flash.
“Whatever. I don’t judge.” Flash held up his hands and walked away. Once you and Peter were alone again, you looked at each other and laughed.
“Kissing party? Come on. That’s not a real thing, is it?” Peter asked you.
“I think he got it from a movie or something. There’s no way people really do this. Imagine the germs. Bleh.” You stuck your tongue out and then pulled your shirt off. Peters whole world stopped as he saw you in a bathing suit for the first time since sixth grade. He didn’t realize how much he was staring until he heard you laugh uncomfortably.
“Peter? Are you still with me?” You asked and waved a hand in front of his face.
“Yeah. Sorry. I thought I saw a bug on your leg.” He lied before tugging his shirt off. You stared at him shamelessly until the shirt was over his head and then pretended you were looking somewhere else. It had slipped your mind that Peter got randomly jacked one day and he had just reminded you with a full view. You’d only ever seen his muscles through his occasional tight shirt but this was much more revealing than that. You snuck one more glance and gulped before throwing on a smile.
“Do you want to get in the water?” You asked. Being in the water mean you wouldn’t have to fight for your life trying not to stare at Peters body for a while.
“Sure.” He smiled and held out his arm. You wrapped your arm around his and walked over to the stairs of the pool.
“Ah it’s…not cold. It’s actually the perfect temperature.” You realized after bracing yourself for the cold pool water.
“Of course he has a heated pool.” Peter grumbled and walked in. You swam over to a spot near some people but also a little isolated. The people behind you were making out and once you both noticed that, you blushed.
“Wow. They’re earning points already.” You chuckled.
“I know. I wonder who’s gonna win.”
“Us. Definitely.” You joked, making Peter laugh.
“Oh, for sure. I’m already making a list in my head of all the people I’m gonna kiss.” He played along.
“Oh yeah? Who’s at the top of the list?” You asked as you swam closer to Peter. Peter looked at your lips and then into your eyes before smiling shyly.
“The list is actually just your name written a hundred times in your handwriting.” Peter joked. You smiled in shock and wrapped your arms around his neck.
“Really? Tell me more about that?” You asked. Peter gulped and wasn’t planning on telling you anything. Instead, he’d show you how he felt by finally kissing you.
But before that could happen, Brad Davis swam over and tapped your shoulder.
“Hey, Y/n. I didn’t see you come in.” He smiled.
“Oh, yeah. Peter and I just got here.” You smiled in disappointment and let go of Peter.
“Cool, cool. So, I’m sure Flash told you what kind of party this is.” Brad said, making Peters senses go off. Brad wanted a kiss and as the captain of your schools basketball team, he might get it.
“He sure did. Which is when Peter and I told him we aren’t playing.” You said through a fake laugh to dilute the uncomfortable situation.
“Oh, my bad. I came over here to kiss you but I didn’t realize you guys were dating.” Brad said apologetically. You and Peter exchanged a look and he gulped.
“We’re not dating.” Peter forced a laughed as well.
“Ohhh. Cool. So I can kiss you?” Brad asked and moved closer. Peter felt white hot jealousy in his veins and looked at you to see what you were gonna do.
“Like I said, not playing.” You laughed awkwardly and moved away from him.
“No sweat. Let me know if you change your mind.” Brad smiled at you and swam back to his friends. Peter blew out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and looked at you. You had your hands over your mouth and wide eyes.
“Oh my God. That was so awkward. I need to get out of here.” You whispered to Peter.
“Let’s go get some food.” Peter suggested. You agreed and got out of the pool together. Peter put a hand on your back and got a towel for you so you could cover yourself when you went inside.
“Uh oh, my Virgin alarm is going off.” Flash said when you and Peter walked into the kitchen where a group of your classmates were. Peter rolled his eyes as Flash walked towards the two of you with his hand flat like a metal detector.
“Beep, beep, beep. I found them. I found the virgins.” Flash gasped as he waved his hand over you and Peter.
“Knock it off, Flash.” Peter grumbled as his face flushed.
“I had to. You two are the only ones not playing.” Flash replied. Everyone looked at you and you suddenly felt insecure for not participating.
“Really? I thought you said other people weren’t playing.” You asked.
“They dipped.” Flash shrugged. “Everyone here is a part of the game. Expect for Chastity Mary and Pete the Prude over here.”
“I’ll play.” You blurted just to make everyone stop staring at you like you were a giant loser. Peter looked at you in confusion and you gave him a stressed look.
“Me too.” Peter nodded to back you up. You didn’t actually want to play, but the peer pressure had gotten to you. That and the fact that this little game might be the perfect excuse to get Peter to kiss you.
“Oh, shit. You’re really playing? In that case…” Flash closed his eyes and leaned in to kiss you with his lips puckered. You picked a strawberry off the table and shoved it in his mouth while Peter laughed.
“Guys, Neds here.” One of the boys in the kitchen gasped.
“NED! NED! NED! NED!” Everyone funneled out of the kitchen in a mob while cheering for Ned.
“Did you know Ned had a cult following?” You asked Peter.
“Kinda. He’s famous around here ever since he got them to reinstate all day breakfast in the dining hall.” Peter explained.
“That was him? Shit, I’d cheer for him too.”
“I should go say hi to him. If he had time for old friends, that is.” Peter joked.
“Y/n, over here!” One of the girls in your grade came over and took your arm. You gave Peter an apologetic look as she pulled you away.
“I’ll catch up with you later!” You told him before disappearing back outside with the girl.
It was almost an hour before you and Peter were reuniting. Now that you were in the competition, Peter could not relax. He was on high alert all night as he tried to spot you in the large crowd. He couldn’t enjoy the party because he was too busy fantasizing about the worst case scenario of you kissing all the popular boys and falling in love with one of them. After you’d been mingling in your respective friend groups for a while, you spotted each other on either side of the pools waterfall. You swam under the waterfall and stayed close to the wall so you were protected by the wall of water but not getting wet.
“There you are. I’ve been looking for you.” Peter smiled and swam to you.
“Have you?” You smiled in return and swam closer to him.
“I have. The boys started wrestling each other and I wanted to give it a go with you.” Peter joked. You laughed and swam even closer to him so that your chests were touching. A comfortable silence fell between you and the rest of the party fell away. You couldn’t really see or hear anyone outside of the waterfall so it felt like it was just the two of you.
“So have you kissed anyone yet?” Peter asked and held his breath.
“No. People keep asking me but I keep declining. I don’t think I’m winning tonight.” You clicked your tongue.
“Me either.” Peter laughed in relief.
“So you haven’t kissed anyone?”
“No. No one’s asked me.” He admitted.
“So kiss me.” You shrugged and held your breath for his response. Peter turned around and looked behind him but didn’t see anyone.
“Who are you talking to?” He asked you.
“You, you dingus.” You laughed. “I’m asking you.”
“You want to kiss me?” Peter asked in disbelief and pointed to himself. You nodded your head and Peter felt a panic rise in his chest.
“N-no.” Peter weakly stammered.
“No?” You asked as your eyebrows went up.
“Sorry. No, thank you. Is what I meant.” Peter corrected himself.
“Oh. Right. Sorry.” You laughed awkwardly and swam back a little.
“Just because-“
“No, it’s totally cool.” You cut him off. “You don’t have to explain anything to me.”
“I just-“
“I’m gonna go get a drink. See you later?” You smiled at him and quickly swam away. Peter was frozen under the waterfall as he processed what happened. Suddenly, Ned burst under the waterfall with urgency.
“Dude! What the hell was that?” He asked and swam to Peter.
“I panicked! I didn’t think she was gonna ask me that!” Peter whispered harshly.
“Why wouldn’t she? This is a kissing party!”
“Kissing parties aren’t real! That’s not a thing that exists. This is a made up concept. Think of the germs! You haven’t thought of the germs you bitch!” Peter exclaimed. Ned jutted in his back in surprise and Peter felt bad.
“Why are you yelling at me?” Ned whispered.
“Because I just blew my chances with Y/n and I’m angry!” Peter whispered back.
“Well why didn’t you kiss her?”
“Because.” Peter whined. “I don’t want our first kiss to be because of this gross game. I wanted it to be because we wanted it.”
“Dude, she hasn’t kissed a single person tonight. You’re the only one she asked.” Ned pointed out.
“Your tone makes me think you’re leading me to a profound conclusion.”
“Clearly she only agreed to play so she could kiss you. That’s why she’s been saying no to everyone else but asked you. She’s not playing the game. She just wanted to kiss you.” Ned said and smacked Peters chest.
“No. That would mean she likes me. And there’s no way she likes me.” Peter insisted.
“Then why would she agree to play this game if she was gonna say no to everyone but you?”
“Because she’s a silly goose? I don’t know. I don’t have all the answers, Ned. Maybe she was just being a silly little guy.”
“Dude, she’s likes you.” Ned groaned. “And she just shot her shot. And you shot her down.”
“That’s way too many shots.” Peter whispered in fear that Ned was right.
“You need to go smooch that girl before you lose her forever.” Ned told him.
“Oh God. Do you think that will happen? Do you think she’ll kiss somebody else?” Peter gulped and chewed his nails.
“Probably. If I’m right about her liking you, that means she just got rejected and is probably super hurt and embarrassed. She’ll be looking for someone to distract her and remind her that she’s desirable. Plus, I heard Brad and Flash are tied and Y/n is the only girl they haven’t kissed. If they get to her before you do, you’re done.”
“Oh God. I can’t let that happen.”
“You might be a little late for that. Turn around.” Ned looked guilty as he pointed over Peters shoulder. Peter turned to see you and Flash sitting on the edge of the pool together. You were laughing at something he was saying, making Peters stomach drop.
“Oh no! She can’t kiss Flash. I’ve never seen him apply chapstick once in his life. And he licked the back of the bus seat in fifth grade during a game of Truth or Dare so he’s definitely carrying some sort of disease.”
“I remember that. He picked truth and then randomly licked the seat top to bottom.” Ned recalled.
“She can’t kiss that mouth. He has cooties. He can’t give my beloved cooties.” Peter said as determination filled his body.
“You need to do that think football players do when they catch the ball that was thrown at a different player.” Ned told him.
“Interception?”
“No. That’s the show about sitting down your family member who has an addiction and sending them to rehab.” Ned waved his hand.
“That’s Intervention.”
“No, Intervention is the Tom Cruise movie where he goes to space and his daughter is Renesmee from Twilight.”
“For starters, I’m not really sure why you called her Renesmee “from Twilight” as if there is any other character in any other movie with that name, but you also just described the movie Intersteller. Which is with Matthew McConaughey, not Tom Cruise.” Peter corrected him.
“So what movie am I thinking of?” Ned wondered.
“Fuck if I know. I’ll be right back.” Peter said and swam over to you and Flash. He saw Flash starting to lean in and in a panic, grabbed a beach ball and threw it at him.
“Ow. What was that?” Flash looked around once the ball hit him in the head.
“Hey guys. What’s going on?” Peter smoothly slid into the convo.
“Hi, Peter.” You smiled shyly and then looked back at Flash.
“It was Inception.” Ned said suddenly as he joined Peters side. Peter face palmed and you just looked confused.
“What was Inception? What did that mean?” Flash asked in genuine confusion.
“The movie I was thinking of. Inception starring Leonardo DiCaprio. That’s what you have to do to Y/n.” Ned explained. He slowly turned and realized you were sitting right there on the pool edge and smiled sheepishly.
“Oh, hey Y/n. Lovely weather we’re having, no?” Ned asked.
“What about an inception?” You playfully narrowed your eyes at Peter.
“He means interception.” Peter mumbled in embarrassment.
“Intercept what?” You asked as you slipped into the pool to be closer to Peter.
“Your kiss with Flash.” Peter admitted as he looked into your eyes. His big brown eyes were full of guilt and you couldn’t stay mad even if you wanted to.
“Ew. You thought I was gonna kiss Flash?” You laughed. “Not after what he did to that bus seat in fifth grade. No offense, Flash.”
“Was it that bad? It tasted like dry Ramen.” Flash shrugged.
“Who eats dry Ramen?” Ned asked.
“People who question the status quo and reject the suffocating confines of the shell society puts us in.” Flash stated.
“What the fuck are you ever talking about?” You whispered to yourself.
“Who knows? Did I hear Y/n wanted to kiss little old me?” Flash batted his eyelashes and pretended to tuck hair behind his ear.
“No, you didn’t.” You told him.
“Wait, so you didn’t come over here to kiss Flash?” Peter asked you.
“Ew, no. Why would you ever think that?”
“Because you wanted to forget that I rejected you.” Peter said, making your eyes widen.
“You rejected Y/n?” Flash laughed in surprise. “That is an M.Night Shamelan level twist right there. That shocked me more than that one Black Mirror episode where it turns out he was a pedofile after I spent the whole episode feeling bad for him.”
“What are you talking about now?” You whined.
“I actually know what he’s talking about.” Peter admitted. “That episode was crazy.”
“Right? When the mom was like “Kids, Kenny? You were looking at kids?” I nearly threw my phone at my TV. On God. I was rooting for him. And best believe, that is the last time I will ever root for a white man.” Flash shook his head. Everyone in the pool was looking at you guys now and trying to peer into the conversation. There was an awkward silence and even more awkward eye contact before Flash spoke again.
“So why didn’t you want to kiss Y/n?” He asked Peter.
“I was kinda also wondering that.” You admitted and looked at Peter for answers.
“Can we talk somewhere else? In private?” Peter asked you quietly.
“You’re just gonna let me hear that much of the conversation and then leave at the end? Talk about edging.” Flash scoffed.
“Fine. He can hear. In fact, everyone should hear this.” Peter decided and got up on the pool steps.
“Hey, everyone. I have an announcement.” Peter said as he cupped his hands around his mouth.
“I like Y/n. As more than a friend.” He announced as he pointed to you. You smiled in delight while everyone else gave each other the side eye.
“No one gives a shit, Parker.” A boy shouted after a long moment of silence.
“Everybody knew that.” Another girl added.
“Do a flip!” Someone shouted.
“He thinks he’s the main character or something, I swear.” Someone else muttered.
“Oh. I thought that would get a bigger reaction.” Peter frowned and walked back down into the pool to go back to you.
“You like me?” You smiled softly.
“I do. A lot.” Peter admitted with the same soft smile.
“Then why didn’t you kiss me?”
“Because I didn’t want our first kiss to be apart of this stupid game.” Peter told you. “I also wanted to be wearing underwear the first time we kissed. I guess I’m picky.”
“I’m never wearing underwear. Ever. Even when I wear jeans.” Flash said, reminding you that he was there. You turned your entire body to look at him because of how shocked you were by that statement.
“Why not?” You asked him.
“It blocks the flow of my mojo.” He said and pointed to his crotch before moving his hand it and outward flow. You blinked a few times and then turned back to Peter.
“Peter, I only played the game because I wanted to kiss one person. You.” You told him.
“That’s why I started playing. But when you came up to me and asked me, I was so caught off guard that I panicked and said no.”
“Is your guard up now?” You asked him.
“Probably not. Peter could never afford a guard. Get it? Because he’s poor.” Flash said and then laughed at his own joke. Peter rolled his eyes before looking at you again.
“If you asked me again, I’d say yes.” He told you.
“I’m not gonna ask you again. But that’s good to know.” You smiled at him, making his smile drop.
“Y/n, over here.” A girl on the other side of the pool called.
“See you around.” You waved to Peter before swimming to the girl. Peter and Flash stood there in shock as the processed what had happened.
“Dude, that was brutal.” Flash said. “That was worse than the staph infection that hospitalized me after I licked that bus seat.”
“I can’t believe she didn’t ask me.” Peter whispered in disbelief. “And who the fuck keeps saying “Y/n, over here?””
“I can’t believe you rejected her, announced to the whole party that you liked her, and then she rejected you! That’s gold, man. You can’t make this stuff up. Anyways, later loser.” Flash hopped into the pool and started to swim away. He suddenly popped up in front of Peter, this time, with goggles on this time.
“Unless you wanted to play mermaids?” Flash asked him. Peter stared at him for a minute and then nodded.
“I do, actually. Yeah.”
“Amazing. My tail is blue. What’s yours?”
“Please let me be blue.” Peter whined. “I just got rejected by my best friend.”
“Fine. I’ll be orange.” Flash rolled his eyes.
Once the party had started to fizzle out, Peter got out of the pool and went over to where he had left his stuff. You walked over to him and he tensed up.
“Hey.” You said as you approached him.
“Oh, hi.” Peter said cautiously. He had no idea what you were here for after all of the bizarre interactions you had tonight.
“Towel?” You asked and offered him a fresh towel.
“Yeah, thanks.” He accepted it and eyed you skeptically before drying off.
“You should really try to ring your hair out. Chlorine might damage those curls.” You said and nodded towards Peters hair.
“Oh, thanks.” He said and rubbed his towel all over his head. When he was finished, he noticed you staring at him with a fond smile.
“What?” He wondered.
“You missed a spot. Here, let me help.” You said and took the towel. You rubbed it all over his head to dry his hair and then moved it to reveal his face. He was blushing, like always, but had a sad look in his eyes. You let the towel fall to around his neck and then pulled it to bring him closer so you could kiss him.
“Did you really think I was gonna kiss you for the first time with Flash Thompson sitting between us?” You asked once you pulled away.
“So that’s why you didn’t ask me again?” Peter smiled as he connected the dots.
“I’m like you. I wanted it to be special.” You shrugged.
“I think it would be even more special if it happened again.” He replied. You laughed and kissed him again, which he was ready for this time.
“So.” He said once you pulled away. “You still down for that ice cream date?”
“It’s a date.” You nodded and smiled.
“I know. I literally just said that.”
“Don’t ruin the moment, P.” You warned him.
“Fine.” He smiled. “Let’s go on our date.”
Tag List 🏷️
@awesomebooklover17 @thebookwormlife @imanativeofswlondondahling
@serendipitous-amor @tom-hollands-wifey
@whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings @ultrunning
@imyourliquor-youremypoison @andreasworlsboring101
@letsloveimagines @peterparkoure @a-villain-vying-for-attention @justcallmehitgirl
@jackiehollanderr @maryjanee23 @geeksareunique @emmamarshmellow
@unbelievableholland @flixndchill @sovereignparker @every-marveler-ever
@undiadeestos @caelestii-e @eridanuswave​ ​ @fiantomartell @solarxmoonchild
@canyouevencauseicant @illwritetomorrow @thehappygrungelife @saysomethingspiderman @smilexcaptainx
@quaksonhehe @kelieah @seasidecrowbar @lovelessdagger @electraheart-3174
@unbelievableholland @yourtypicalhotmess @horanxholland @thesuitelifeofafangirl
@marshxx @heyheycharlatte @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie
@maybemona @alexxcorona113 @lethal-wisdom @xo-spidey
4K notes · View notes
pixlpxie · 2 months
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An Unserious List of Kinks I Believe Yunho Has Based on My Analysis and His Birth Chart
Please do not forget these assumptions are just for fun and are not real
This was literally my first draft ever it took months but here we are
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First of all, I don't get how yall think he is a softy that man is the epitome of hard dom he will make sure you know who is in charge
The only true dom in the group
Obsessive and possessive (duh) literally look at his birth chart
Has insane stamina, will go for rounds fucking you
Starting off strong and sure: This mf definitely has cosplay/dress up kink, there are no doubts. Have you seen the way that man's eyes lit up when a fan said I will dress up for you?? Yeah
So will def go nuts if you cosplay as spider girl or as his fave game characters, he ain't lasting a second
Which is why he probably likes to see you put on a show, with his taurus venus he probably likes looking at pretty things
Also why he enjoys lingerie a lot
Imo hes a huge hedonist and materialist, he has needs and desires that are difficult to satisfy and i don't think he can ever reach that high. So he will use you and your body for his pleasures a lot, that's also why he needs someone that can obey him
Won't keep his hands off of you for sure, the type to grab your ass in public no shame at all
His taurus venus combined with his scorpio placements, his touches and holds will be possessive. He will make sure you know that you are his (But that will only happen if he really wants you otherwise you might feel like you are being used for your body🤡)
The next one I am so fucking sure is his pain kink. Likes both receiving it and giving it. Esp electric shock. Again have you seen him literally reaching cloud 9 when he was hurt? idk man smths fishy here
Which brings me to the next point: He most likely is a sadist 🥰 luvly rly
He can enjoy dacryphilia, with that pisces mercury seeing your tears will get him going in an instant 🫴🏻
Will bite you, wherever he feels like although imo he'd bite your lips and make them bleed
Will not put up with your brat shit
Likes marking you but especially bruising you. Will also adore it when you leave marks on him, again burises. He already seems to bruise so easily (i feel you babe) so I feel like he would adore them post-sex
Size kink for sure, loves seeing you literally vanish beneath his massive figure
Likes when you praise him with dirty talk
Angry sex <3 jealous sex <3
Is quite vocal but he mostly growls and grunts especially when it's a kinkier sex, on the regular his moans are def low pitched
Sex under influence is something he will enjoy, whether it's drunk or high sex he will love it
Food play🏃🏻‍♂️ He will involve food during sex for sure
LMAO FOOT FETISH 😭 WE AINT MISSING ON THAT 🤾🏻‍♂️ (did that one pisces placement he has made him this way?? idk??) Enjoys both recieving and giving but id say giving more so def likes it when your feet is pretty (painting your nails and pedicure is def a turn on)
Like it or not he's a CNC typa man😋 loves forcing you and seeing you so ruined, controling you is important to him
In fact hes probably the only member to be heavily interested in darker and heavier kinks
He will be really sensitive with his 5 senses so he needs someone that can stimulate those senses
He doesn't want to get bored during sex, mental stimulation is important for him
Loves dirty talk
Humiliation and degredation™
Will force you to look into his eyes (But as a punishment he might never let you look at him either)
He is a slapper... He will slap and spank you a lot
Fake sympathy™
To me he's just that type of person to grab you from the chin, look you in the eyes and tell you "You wouldn't want it to be like this, would you princess?" Like he will threaten you subtly without being even mean
I might keep adding to the list so beware
839 notes · View notes
norrizzandpia · 10 months
Note
this is about oscar? part 3 but its freak by doja cat 🙏🏻
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I fear y/n has released an entire album this time lol @golden-flora
The Album (OP81)
Summary: She’s done singles, one song at a time about her and Oscar’s sex life, but, now, she’s ready for a whole album.
Warnings: dirtiest one of the series, sexual discussions, Oscar being cocky
Note: THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF THE WHO IS OSCAR PIASTRI SERIES IS HERE EVERYONE!!!! Hope you like it, i added some new things. First, as you know, y/n releases an album here, but, also, at the end, instead of smau, it’s just a regular story abt them on a podcast 🤭
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y/nnn Oscar, the album, out tonight with a track list of Freak, Agora Hills, Dick, and Pussy Poppin 🤭
Comments:
Mclarensgirly SHE NAMED THE WHOLE THING OSCAR IM FUCKING CRYING
F1fan2023 using a photo McLaren took is cray
- y/nnn say it with me everyone: he looks hot!
- Mclarensgirly he looks hot!
- ln4andop81 he looks hot!
- f1fan81 he looks hot!
landonorris plz. plz don’t release it. I’ve never felt terror like this in my entire life after seeing that track list
- y/nnn don’t you put your life on the line every weekend to drive a car?
- landonorris yes.
oscarpiastri anyone want to come to the listening party?
- Danielricciardo no.
- landonorris absolutely fucking not
- logansargeant YOU THINK IM GOING TO BE LISTENING TO THESE???
- y/nnn y’all are some fake ass bitches
oscarpiastri haha have fun everyone!!!
- ln4andop81 mans is enjoying himself
- oscarpiastri more than enjoying myself
- landonorris like I’ll literally kill you
TWITTER
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Mclarensgirly i would just like to say that this is the man all those songs are about
- ln4andop81 i mean she did say “tied him down to my queen bed” in freak so that pic does fit the sub allegations
- f1fan2023 she also said “love it when he hit and smack too” in agora hills
- Mclarensgirly also said “hold me down, when a hole need dick”
- f1fan81 also said “he want a quickie, let him lick me, then I started gasping. The way his tongue be going crazy, you wouldn’t imagine. I let him stick me, hair got frizzy, I might let him crash it”
- Mclarensgirly also said “He put that woo all down my throat until i started coughing.”
- ln4andop81 OKAY OKAY I GET IT 😭
- ln4andop81 but also like… lets talk abt it
- Mclarensgirly IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS
- f1fan2023 “he like it when i bend it over and i arch my back. He tap me on my shoulders, i said ‘yeah, i like that’” YOURE KIDDING.
- ln4andop81 i envision that in my head at night
- Mclarensgirly oh?
- ln4andop81 moving on! “Pull the panties to the side, watch a movie and make it two. We just finished number one, but I’m ready for round two” YUM.MY.
- F1fan81 sometimes i wonder if I’m jealous of Oscar or jealous of y/n
- Mclarensgirly real.
- ln4andop81 we also need to talk about Dick bc she literally goes “i met the boy in the 6, but measurements wasn’t a six” UHHHHHHH
- f1fan2023 it baffles me that he’s packing that seriously
- ln4andop81 nothing baffles me when it comes to that boy now that y/n sang “When I made a little mess on it, he told me to clean my act up” BRUHHHH THATS FUCKING HOT AS SHIT
- Mclarensgirly “Skirt up, fuck in the backseat. Take that shirt off, baby, put it on me. Got me like ‘yeehow’, ride it like a horsey. Kinda like seesaw, up and down on the D, give it to him” McLaren’s kicking and crying rn bc they know they cant take their car back from Oscar after y/n confirmed they christened it
- f1fan2023 okay okay but can we talk about “suck a little dick in the bathroom” in agora hills (slay song btw i ate that shit up)
- ln4andop81 YEAH BC IM GOING TO NEED SOME MORE INFO THAN THAT. WHEN. WHERE. WHAT.
- F1fan81 i bet your ass it was in the mtc
- ln4andop81 or in the Australian Grand Prix paddock remember when no one could find him after the face was over and all he said he was with y/n? SHE HAD TO HAVE BEEN GIVING HIM CELEBRATORY HEAD
- Mclarensgirly honestly? They prob did it in both
- oscarpiastri mhm
Oscar and Y/n sat next to each other on the soft sofa of the studio. They giggled with the podcast host as she said their introduction.
“Breaking the internet right now with their sex life, Oscar Piastri and Y/n Y/l/n! Hi, guys, welcome.” Samantha, the host, spoke to them.
Y/n and Oscar mumbled pleasantries, their legs squished together even with all the space to Y/n’s left. The woman was quick to getting into the topic of conversation, having already discussed boundaries with the couple before the cameras started rolling.
“So, Y/n, you’ve just released a small album that focuses mostly on Oscar and the things you two get up to in the bedroom. Were you ever nervous to share these songs with the world?”
Y/n nodded, “At first, yeah, all the way back when we started with 34+35, but it got easier once I saw the overwhelming support for it. I think the best part about releasing them is seeing the jokes that the fans make about Oscar and that side of him.”
Samantha smiled, “That leads me to my next question, Oscar, were you ever nervous to have people know about that side of you? Seeing as it was such a shocker.”
He laughed as he adjusted his position, throwing an arm around his girlfriend, “Um, well, I didn’t think it was that shocking. We didn’t expect people to go haywire over hearing that I lean more towards the dominant side. We kind of assumed people inferred that.”
Samantha’s jaw dropped, “Really?! Oh! I’ll be honest, I was quite surprised when I heard it.”
Y/n shook her head, “I don’t know, I guess the way Oscar is in front of cameras is drastically different from how he actually is. He’s still very soft spoken and quiet, but a bit more outgoing.”
Samantha nodded as she glanced over her next question, “Oscar, what’s your favorite song off this album?”
“Oh, I am so ready for this. Agora Hills.” He answered immediately, smiling proudly at the others in the room.
Y/n turned to look at him, “Really?! Why?!”
His head leaned from side to side, “Just, it’s more romantic? I mean, you talk about tying the knot alongside the sex stuff.”
Y/n and Samantha laugh at his comment, Samantha agreeing, “No, I see what you’re saying. Y/n, you do say you want to show him off multiple times throughout the song.”
“Because I do!” She exclaimed, leaning into her boyfriend lovingly.
He kissed her temple, listening intently to Samantha.
“Your interactions with the fans are hilarious. Do you guys look forward to fucking with them?”
“Hell yeah!” Oscar exclaimed, “Once I caught wind of the fact that they didn’t think I did shit in the bedroom, I became very obnoxious when rubbing what happens between Y/n and I in their faces.”
Y/n cooed jokingly, “Aw, Osc, was your masculinity damaged?”
He rolled his eyes at her, laughing at her dig and pushing her away softly. They came back together, though.
“Before we move on from this subject, I want to ask Y/n, was the over six inches comment really true?” Samantha eyed her as Y/n glanced beside her at Oscar, silently asking him if she could do what he knew she wanted to do.
He nodded at her, shaking his head lightly as she said, “A lady never kisses and tells.”
Silence passed as she raised her hands and aimed them around nine inches apart. Winking suggestively at the camera, the women in the room gasped.
“IS THAT NINE INCHES?!” Samantha screamed, causing all of them to fall into a fit of giggles.
Y/n brought the microphone to her mouth and whispered, “Oh, yeah, it is.”
1K notes · View notes
wolfmoonmusic · 2 years
Note
hiiii!!! can u do a valentine’s day angsty post where james and y/n are in a secret relationship because she’s a hufflepuff but he flirts with lily and gets her flowers on valentines so he doesn’t cause suspicion u get upset and cry and break up with him and he tries to win u back but remus gets u flowers and kinda helps u get over james??🤭🤭🤭 if u don’t wanna do this it’s totally okay!! love ur work<3
Secrecy:
A/N: This was so painful to write. But, it was also super fun.
Summary: You love James Potter and would do anything for him, including keeping your relationship an absolute secret. However, he may not feel the same.
Pairing: James Potter x Hufflepuff!reader, Remus Lupin x Hufflepuff!reader
w/c: 3600+
Masterlist
Taglist
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <3
The room of requirements had a lot of uses.
“Jamie, stop it!” you giggled as your boyfriend peppered your face with kisses. He pulled away grinning, “What? I’ve missed you!” 
You shook your head, a sad smile taking over the grin you’d had before. “You wouldn’t have to miss me, if people knew about us,” you said, your hands fixing his hair, and adjusting his glasses. “If at least your friends knew,” you added, now fixing your own robes.
James closed his eyes, tilting his head back. “We’ve talked about this n/n,” he whined, cupping your face. His eyes searched yours, “I-I’ve told you, they can’t know.”
You shook your head, “You’ve never told me why, James.” You pulled his hands away from your face, bending down to pick up your bag, the next period would start soon. You tried to ignore how your chest tightened.
When James didn’t respond, bending down to pick his own bag up, you sighed. Everytime over the past few months that you’d had this conversation, it ended the same way. Sometimes, you wondered, if he was embarrassed of you, but it made no sense, because all of his friends loved hanging out with you.
Or so you thought. You weren’t sure of anything anymore.
“I-I just need you to trust me,” he said softly, adjusting his bag straps. You just stared at him blankly. It was scary how used to this you were by now. 
“Right,” you whispered, before stepping past him and leaving.
He didn’t follow you. He never did.
When James had first told you he liked you, he’d also mentioned a need to keep it private. You’d wholeheartedly agreed at first, maybe he just didn’t want his friends all over the two of you. However, that didn’t make sense either. Sirius had openly teased the both of you on some occasions, when James had one too many drinks, and got a little too touchy around you. 
Of course, it happened only when he was drunk.
As days turned into weeks, you started wondering if he ever planned on telling at least his friends. He never got too close to you whenever you were around them. In fact, he’d barely even look at you. It was Remus who was always around you, talking and making you laugh.
If James hadn’t asked you out first, Remus might’ve been the one you were with.
He always made you feel wanted. In a way James never had. 
The worst part was that Valentine’s Day was tomorrow. And James hadn’t even brought it up. Even when you’d asked him, he’d just shrugged and said “I’ll come up with something.”
You definitely didn’t miss the way his friends kept pushing him towards Lily Evans. Or how he seemed to be subtly flirting with her, every time you looked at him when you were in public.
At first you would cry in your dorm room, unable to tell anyone about how you felt, because no matter how much you hated it, you still felt obliged to keep it a secret. Over time, you learnt to shrug it off, allowing the pain to grow in your chest. You didn’t know what it was like to go through a day without that crushing sensation.
Sometimes you wished you weren’t that nice. 
As you entered class, you weren’t expecting Remus to excitedly wave you over, Sirius turning away from his friend to smile at you as well.
You couldn’t even avoid them, it’d seem suspicious. You plastered on a fake smile, making your way over to the boys.
“Hey Y/N,” they both chorused. 
“Hello,” you responded, settling down next to Remus. He held out a chocolate in the palm of his hand, and you gladly accepted, muttering a simple thanks.
This is what it was like to be around Remus. It wasn’t the constant fear of someone finding out. It didn’t come with the thoughts swarming in your head.
Your eyes found James walking into class, hesitating, for just a moment when he saw you, before his face returned to normal and he took a seat beside Sirius.
Of course, he didn’t give you a second glance.
Class started, causing you to shift your focus on your professor. You hated how routine it had all become. 
How unaffected you were.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As you were walking back to your dorm, you felt someone grab your hand, pulling you behind a wall. 
“Y/N, don’t be mad,” James whispered. You stared at him blankly, before sighing softly. “How long?” you asked, staring directly into his eyes, hoping that you could decipher what was going on. He gulped, looking away for a minute, before his eyes landed on you again. “I-I don’t know,” he said, immediately looking down at his shoes.
You tried to blink away the gathering tears, nodding. “Look, James, I like being your girlfriend. But, I hate being your secret,” you said. His eyes snapped up to meet yours, full of panic. “You’re not my secret,” he said firmly, his eyes filled with confidence. You almost believed him.
Almost.
You scoffed. “Right because this,” you said, gesturing to your hiding spot, “doesn’t indicate that you’re hiding me.”
“No, no I-” he sighed frustratedly, a hand running through his hair. 
“I’ll see you in the Gryffindor common room in the evening. I’m studying with Remus. You,” you jabbed a finger at his chest, “can ignore me as usual.”
With that, you left, unable to hold the onslaught of tears any longer. As the hot tears streamed down your face, you started running, picking up more speed as the feeling in your chest grew. You didn’t care that people were staring. You didn’t care that you could get into trouble. You just needed to get away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You didn’t go to class. You didn’t go to lunch. You sat in your room all day pondering your situation. It hurt you to think about it. You’d been so happy in the beginning, an amazing boyfriend, good friends, you had it all. But slowly, your sudden disappearances had increased, and you couldn’t explain it to your friends. You’d even missed your roommate's cake cutting on her birthday because you’d run off to find James.
They barely even talked to you now.
You sniffled, hearing voices as your roommates piled in, barely acknowledging you. You watched as they walked right past you, only one of them, Rose, the one who’s birthday you missed, paused to give you a sad smile, before joining the others in their discussion.
You couldn’t handle the pain anymore. It enveloped you completely, the numbness taking over. You quietly got up, leaving the room. Anywhere was better than here. 
As you got to your common room, you realized all the classes were over for the day. Your eyes scanned the room, as you tried to ignore the fact that you were supposed to be with Remus now. You didn’t want to go. James would be there.
But, you’d promised Remus yesterday. 
You sighed, deciding you had to go, leaving the common room, with no one to stop you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The second you entered the common room, Remus called you over. Unfortunately, he was sitting with his friends. Including your boyfriend.
You walked over, ignoring the way James watched you, eyes trained on Remus. “Hi Remmy,” you said softly, taking a seat next to him. “Hello love. Are you alright? You weren’t in Defense Against the Dark Arts today,” he asked, brows furrowed together in concern. 
Did James even realize?
You nodded quietly, “Just needed to get away from everything for a while y’know?” 
Remus nodded, understanding taking over his features. 
“You don’t have your books,” Sirius pointed out.
You froze, you’d been so worked up that you hadn’t even realized.
“I - uh”
“ ‘S alright love, we can share,” Remus interrupted, passing his book over to you.
You smiled gratefully, “Thanks Moony.”
You knew James was watching you, but you didn’t look at him. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. It hurt too much.
“Oh! I heard someone’s secret relationship was found out!” Sirius suddenly exclaimed.
You couldn’t process what he’d just said. Did he - did he know?
“Who?” you heard James ask. Your eyes snapped to him, but he was looking at Sirius, face seeming amused.
Was he not worried? Or did he not care? Or…was he so sure that it wasn’t about you two?
However Sirius just shrugged, “Don’t know, don’t care,” he pointed at the three of you, “however I think whoever it was is an absolute coward.”
Remus looked up from his book, “Coward?”
Sirius hummed in response. “You like someone enough to date them, why would you keep it quiet?” he asked, now looking at you, “If you’re not embarrassed or if it’s not forbidden love or something right n/n?” You were caught off guard by the question. 
The way he looked at you made you feel as if he knew more than he was letting on. 
“I uh-. Yeah, yeah, why would you?” you asked in response, looking at James. At this point, you didn’t care if someone suspected something. You wanted an answer.
James’s eyes widened in shock. “I-” 
The three of you were looking at him now. “You shouldn’t. Not if you care about the person enough,” he muttered, looking at everyone but you.
You didn’t stop the tears from flowing. “I- I have to go,” you whispered, before running out. 
Did he not care enough then? If that was just a response, framed to keep people from guessing, how far was he willing to go to keep this a secret?
You ran all the way to your dorm room, ignoring the way your roommates were looking at you with concern, before jumping on the bed, hiding your face in the pillow, and sobbing. 
None of them came to ask you what was wrong. Of course they didn’t. You hadn’t been there for them, constantly putting James first. 
The James that always seemed to put you last.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You woke up in the morning, eyes puffy and head hurting. You hadn’t even changed into your pajamas. You groaned, sitting up slowly, eyes closed, as the events of the day before, flooded into your head.
“Hi.”
You opened your eyes, finding Rose sitting on your bed, a soft smile on her face.
“Hi?” you said, shocked that she was even talking to you. 
“You came in, a mess last night,” she laughed lightly.
You could feel your cheeks heating up in embarrassment . She moved closer to you, placing a hand on your knee. “What’s going on?” she asked, voice filled with concern. 
You were surprised that she’d even asked. “I missed your birthday?” you asked in response, unable to form an actual sentence.
She laughed again, “I know you Y/N. You wouldn’t have done that unless something was going on.”
You felt your eyes water again. “You really want to know?” you asked, your voice shaking. She simply nodded, waiting for you to continue.
You hesitated, unsure if you should tell her, but as the pain in your chest continued to grow with every second, you realized you needed to let it out.
So you did.
You told her everything. From the very beginning, to the conversation you’d had yesterday.
The second you’d finished, she engulfed you in a hug. “Oh n/n, you don’t deserve that,” she said, pulling away.
“But I mean, what I don't get is, why?” you whispered.
“I don’t know love, but you have to tell him,” she said sternly.
“Tell him what?” you asked, afraid of what she was going to say.
“That if he wants to stay with you, he should be willing to be open about it. Not PDA level but you know what I mean,” she said, taking your hands in hers.
You nodded. She was right. Absolutely right.
You had to tell him now. Why not? It was Valentine’s? It was perfect.
“I’ll tell him right now,” you said, getting off the bed.
Rose gripped your hand. “Not like this you’re not,” she told you, looking you up and down.
You laughed in embarrassment, “Right.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rose had helped you get ready, even helping you out with a bit of makeup. 
So now, as you sped across the halls, you were feeling confident. You were sure you mattered to him, so you didn’t worry too much about the conversation you were about to have. You were feeling good.
But then you heard the name Potter coming out of a certain redhead’s mouth. You came to a halt, turning to look at the scene behind you.
Lily Evans was holding a bouquet in her hands, blushing profusely. 
“I can’t believe he actually knows what flowers you like!” her friend exclaimed.
Lily nodded, “He might be a prick sometimes, but he really is good at this.”
Your heart dropped.
It can’t be.
You walked over to her clearing your throat. “Um, Lily?” you called, causing the girl to turn to you.
“Oh hey Y/N!” she smiled warmly. You returned it with a weak smile of your own, “I was just wondering,” you said shakily, pointing to the flowers, “who gave you those?” 
She grinned, “James Potter. As thick headed as he is, he’s also a sweetheart.”
You felt like you’d been kicked in the stomach, the color draining from your face. 
“You alright?” she asked, noticing the way your hands were shaking.
You nodded quickly. “Yeah, yeah of course. Have a nice day,” you said, quickly turning around and bolting. 
You had someone to go meet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“James!” you yelled, barging into the Gryffindor common room. Sirius, Peter and Remus, and James all turned to look at you. Luckily there was no one else there.
Though, to be honest, you wouldn’t have cared.
You were tired of hiding.
“You gave Lily flowers?” you said, walking up to your boyfriend. 
He stood up, eyes wide. 
“Of course he did! Are you oblivious to how he’s head over heels for her?” Sirius interjected, confused as to why you were so angry.
You ignored him, eyes trained on your boyfriend.
“I-”
“Well? Did you? Or is she lying to me?” you asked, your eyes watering.
“Y/N”
“I swear to god James if you try to hide this even now, I will not hesitate to slap you.”
You could see how panicked James was. But you didn’t care. You were hurt beyond repair.
He closed his eyes, cursing under his breath.
“I did,” he whispered.
Hot tears streamed down your face.
“But I swear,” he said, opening his eyes, “ I only did it to keep people off of us.” He tried to reach for your hand, but you pushed him away.
“Why?” you sobbed. Your chest felt like it was being crushed. Your heart, breaking into tinier pieces by the minute.
James huffed. “Because,” he started throwing his hands up in the air, “Because you’re a Hufflepuff!” he yelled.
You staggered back, the shock of the revelation came like a blow.
“What?” you whispered.
“Mate, what’s going on?” Remus asked, walking over to stand next to you.
James just shook his head, running a hand through his hair.
“Love,” Remus turned to you, a gentle hand on your shoulder, “what’s going on?” he asked.
Sirius stepped forward, “James fucked up, that’s what’s going on,” he supplied.
You and James looked at him in shock.
“I saw you both kissing a few days back,” he explained. “It completely threw me off, because Prongs here,” he threw an arm around James’s shoulder, “has been head over heels for Evans since first year.”
First year?
“However, he did tell us about catching feelings for you last year, though we thought it subsided because he never mentioned it again. Of course, I found out only recently that he didn’t mention it, because he was too up in his head about the whole ‘Gryffindor being a superior house’ thing,” Sirius said, making air quotes. You stared at James, not knowing how to process the information being dealt out.
“Then I saw you both snogging each other before Charms one day, and decided to bring it up. James however said you were just friends. But he wouldn’t shut up about how in love he was with Evans. Meaning one of two things,” Sirius said, moving away from James, holding out both his hands.
“One,” he said, lifting his left hand up, “James was using you to get the attention he wanted because Lily wasn’t paying him regard,” James opened his mouth to say something but Sirius cut him off, “but, James isn’t a prick. He wouldn’t do that.” Sirius said, lowering his hand. “Which could only mean,” he lifted his right hand now, “that James did in fact like you, but he couldn’t give up completely on Lily, and,” he paused, pointing to James, “he feels too superior about his house, as always.”
You blinked multiple times, trying to understand what Sirius had just said. 
He’d known yesterday. And he’d been trying to warn you.
“Y/N-” James started.
“Don’t. Don’t James. Don’t open your mouth and try to explain. You’ll only make it worse,” you seethed. Your hurt had completely transformed into anger.
“We’re done. Go on and snog Lily in front of everyone, yeah? She’s in Gryffindor,” you glared at him, before storming out of the common room, ignoring his protests.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You’d spent the entire day in your room. Thinking, crying, and thinking some more. You’d told Rose, and then also told her you needed some alone time.
She’d been doing a great job at keeping everyone away.
Until now that is.
You heard a soft knock on your dorm room door.
“Please, not now,” you called out, hoping the person would go away.
“I uh- It’s me, Remus,” a soft, uncertain, voice called back.
Your eyes widened and you quickly got off the bed, opening the door to your visitor.
“Remus?” you asked, surprised.
He smiled at you warmly. “Hello love, may I come in?” he asked. You nodded, stepping aside to let him. You closed the door again, watching as he gently placed his bag on the floor before sitting on your bed.
“I had to bribe Rose with 2 weeks of free chocolates,” he laughed.
For the first time in hours, you felt a smile creep up onto your face. “Aww, you did that for me?” you teased, settling down in front of him.
“I’d do anything for you,” he said, quietly. 
You froze, a warmth coating your cheeks and the tips of your ears. 
He sighed, “James is- He’s an idiot. To hurt you like that. It’s-” he shook his head, “It’s fucked up and not fair on you. If I was him, I’d be showing you off,” he said, reaching over to place his hand on your knee.
You felt goosebumps erupt all over you at his touch.
“Even if I’m a hufflepuff?” you smiled sadly.
“Even if you’re a Hufflepuff,” Remus nodded, before adding, “In fact, I’m happy you’re not a Gryffindor, I know too many Gryffindors,” he laughed.
You felt yourself relax at the comforting sound, a small chuckle slipping past your lips as well. 
Remus bent over, searching through his bag before presenting a bouquet of (your favorite flowers).
Your jaw dropped in shock. “I- Are these for me?” you asked, reaching out slowly.
Remus nodded, “Just for you,” he said.
You pulled them close to your face, inhaling the fresh scent. “I love it, Moony, thank you,” you whispered. 
Remus just stared at you, his brown eyes filled with love. For a second, he looked away, as if pondering something, before his eyes landed on his hands. You watched as played with his sweater, shrugging, before taking in a deep breath, and looking into your eyes.
“I know it might be too early, but do you think- would you maybe- I don’t know how to say it,” he sighed, looking away.
You knew what it was immediately. Did you want it? Yes, so very badly. Because you were confident that Remus would treat you right. Even Rose thought so.
He knew you better than James ever had.
“Just say it Remmy,” you said, placing the flowers next to you, before taking his hands in yours.
He looked at you, staring into your eyes. You felt your heart pick up speed, thumping loud against your ribcage.
He shook his head, looking away again, unable to keep eye contact for long. 
You moved closer to him, knitting your hands together, sitting knee to knee. 
“I’d love to be your girlfriend. We- We’ll have to take it slow, but I’d absolutely love to do that Remus,” you said.
He gently untangled your arms, and worry took over. Is that not what he wanted?
But then, his lips were on yours, his hands on your waist, and your head was on cloud nine.
It wasn’t rushed, he took his time, savoring every second. It wasn’t mixed with the fear of being caught. Or the pain of knowing you wouldn’t get it again for a while.
No. You couldn’t think. Your heart took over your body, as you pushed back. Every fiber of your being, lighting up with joy.
It was like your first kiss all over again.
Until, someone threw the door open, and you almost feared how Remus would react.
But he didn’t recoil, or act like nothing had happened. He just backed away, shocked, one hand still on your waist, as the other ran through his hair, eyes closed as he let out a small airy chuckle. 
It was Rose. She was grinning. “I knew it!” she pumped her fist in the air. 
Remus laughed, shaking his head, “Now will you leave us alone? Unless you want to watch?” he asked, eyebrows raised. 
Rose’s eyes widened, and she held her hand up in defense, “No sir,” she said, before leaving, closing the door behind her, causing you to giggle.
Remus turned to you, smiling, pressing his forehead against yours.
“Promise we won’t be a secret?” You whispered.
“I promise,” he responded, pressing his lips to your forehead.
And he stuck to that promise, ‘till your heart went still.
6K notes · View notes
purplephloxpress · 1 month
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Another year, another Fanfiction Writers Appreciation Day!!!! If you are a writer of fanfic, please know just how appreciated you are!! Fandom would be such a different space without your creativity and labors of love. 💜
Holidays are all about making traditions, and the bookbinding friends with @renegadeguild once again came together to bind copies of fics for their authors as a show of our appreciation. This year I had the absolute joy of binding Emergency Help Wanted by the wonderful @piyo-13 and even got to collaborate with her on some of the design elements! It's a Modern AU Jiang Cheng/Lan Xichen fic that starts with a "help wanted" ad.
EMERGENCY HELP WANTED
I lied when I got my job. I told them I had a kid so I could leave early from work to pick him up from daycare, take him to doctor's appointments, and occasionally miss a day when he's sick. Long story short, I'm in too deep. I didn't think it through. Looking to rent a kid for bring your child to work day. Must be a boy ages four to six, longish dark hair, likes soccer. Must also be artistic as the macaroni noodle paintings I made seem a little advanced for his age. Also, I will pay extra for someone willing to play the role of husband when dropping him off. He's a prosecuting attorney who often brings his work home. Message me for further details. Serious inquiries only.
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Ok. So. I may have gone a little feral with this one. Online "help wanted" ad spiraled into loading wheel scene dividers, spiraled into fake Google search result headers, spiraled into FULLY committing to those authentic looking text messages. In full color. (There are so many. I typeset in MS Word. It was SO worth it, but god what a struggle at some points.) And don't forget the "recent searches" title page! Or the computer cutout on the cover! (It's bluescreening, just like Lan Xichen through this entire fic!) Also that cover/title page image that I just kept adding details to. (It's supposed to be Lan Xichen's desk, so it simply didn't feel right until it had sticky notes on the computer, #1 dad on the mug, scissors and measuring tape, scribbles on the sticky notes) Did I have a ton of fun designing this one? Perhaps. Couldn't say. Maybe just a tad. (This is a lie I had an ABSOLUTE BLAST!)
Historically, I've waited until I finish at least the typeset before reaching out to the author, but not so with this one! I got the idea for the fake google search results from Piyo's authors notes, teasing the contents of the next chapter. But! Those didn't start until about chapter 4! So I reached out and asked if we could collaborate and I'm forever glad I did! Not only does this have teasers for each chapter, I also got to bounce design ideas off of her, including what shade of blue and purple for the text messages. Because my friends, that is a serious matter and changed SEVERAL times throughout the process.
Also shoutout to all my Renegade friends who gave input and encouragement over the past year while I worked on this (what endpages to use? how to make this shade of green perfectly Nie Huaisang? how do we feel about this text message design? or how about this one?) - I love you all dearly and appreciate you so much for putting up with my nonsense at all times.
Binding details below the cut!
Fandom: The Untamed/Mo Dao Zu Shi
Pairing: Jiang Cheng | Jiang Wanyin / Lan Huan | Lan Xichen
Bookcloth: Aqua/Purple Dubletta from Colophon Book Arts
Endpapers: Craft Consortium Ink Drops - Ocean pack
Textblock paper: short grain cream from Church Paper
Titling: We R Memory Keepers foil quill
Endbands: leather cording core, DMC embroidery floss for the bands
Body Font: EB Garamond
Title Font: Berlin Sans FB
Text Messages: Roboto
Additional fonts: Times New Roman, Kunstler Script, Magis Authentic
Title page image from Rawpixel and designed in Canva
Various computer graphics from The Noun Project
Tumblr insists on eating and doubling text in this section at its own whim, so if there's something missing that you're curious about, feel free to DM me an ask!
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xeeljii · 25 days
Text
CURRENTS ⋆⭒˚.⋆
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PART 1: New Person, Same Old Mistakes
WARNING! Explicit RPF! 
Summary: You and Joost were never lovers, never friends but something in the middle that ended up hurting more, you meet again years later and many things have changed but others stay the same. 
Word count: 4.9k
CW: 18+, f! reader, friends with benefits, mentions of past sex, jealousy, angst, rekindling (?)
The fall had been hard and fast as much as you didn’t want it to. Joost was cute and funny, killer combo and you had great chemistry in bed, cherry on top. The problem was that he had just gotten out of a committed relationship and was not looking for that again, good, cool, totally fine, neither were you. That is what your twenties are for just, casual sex and silly mistakes and he was perfect for that, until it wasn’t so perfect. Because again, he was very cute and very funny and you could lie to yourself about your feelings only for so long before they became unbearable like an invisible hand slowly choking you. 
You and Joost had met one of those days where he had been jumping around from bar to bar getting wasted seeing where he would end the night to avoid ending at his own place all alone again. He had told you you caught his eyes because you had such a pretty face, but in truth he just liked your laughter, you had been with a group of friends and the sweet sound of it kept calling to him like a siren song. He had finally built courage to approach you. You were very beautiful but more than that you were fun, he liked that, he felt like he could talk to you for hours without it getting tiring but also he was very curious to know what you looked like underneath all your pretty clothes so after seeing the way you kept blushing when his eyes lingered on you he bluntly asked. 
“Your place or mine?” He said it with way more confidence than he felt, in those days it was what he did, just fake it until you make it, and somehow it worked, sometimes at least. You had faintly seen trough it but he was so handsome and had an aura about him that pulled people in so you decided to ignore the warning signs. 
“Mine” You replied with a grin. 
Whether it was a good or bad decision you had no idea but you were unwilling to let such an opportunity with such a man pass you by. He had eaten your pussy like a starved man kissing through the lace of your panties, licking and sucking at your folds, you had never come that hard before, never had met someone who did it like it was pleasurable for them too and not just a curtesy at most. When you saw him disappear between your legs at first you had almost stopped him too shy to have him that close to you but he spoke before you could even gather your words. 
“I’m thicker than most so you need this.” He smiled a little self satisfied then looked at your wet heat and added. “But really you have such a pretty pussy it would be a waste not to.” He licked his lips in anticipation and then made you see stars. 
You thought he was bluffing at first but he was honest and he had you melting in his embrace with a few thrust and his deft fingers on your clit. That night he made you cum over and over until you couldn’t take his touch.
“I can’t anymore I surrender.” You said in fake dramatics putting your hand over your hard beating heart, he had laughed, a beautiful sound in the middle of the night, he had the prettiest smile you think you had ever seen, with deep dimples that adorned his cheeks.
“Do you mind if I smoke?” He asked, getting up from bed, you shook your head. 
“Just open the window or my landlord will kill me.”
“Well we wouldn’t want the girl with the prettiest pussy ever dying.” He had said cigarette hanging from his lips as he cracked the window open. 
“You are kind of a pervert.” You said shaking your head embarrassed and hiding behind the covers as you felt yourself blushing at his bluntness, he looked back at you and smiled as he took his first drag.
“If it is only kind of then it is fine.” He blew the smoke outside the room slowly.
The image of him sitting on your chair, naked, smoking out of the window of your tiny apartment would become ingrained in your mind for years to come haunting you when you least expected it. 
In the morning he had woken up and left before you but he had written his number in a piece of paper in the back of one of your shopping lists. Sure, he had probably been the best sex you had ever had, perhaps a little too rough at times but you weren’t entirely sure if getting involved with him further was a good idea, he very clearly had his own thing going on and while you weren’t entirely looking for a relationship you also weren’t entirely not looking for it so you were scared you would end up just being a disturbance in the middle of his easy going life. So you just threw the paper away, promising yourself to just let this be a night of fun and nothing more. But that was not what destiny had in plans for you at all. 
One night after some exams were done your friend group decided to party, someone had gotten tickets for a live show and that is how most of you ended up in some dark venue downing the cheapest drinks you could get. Just your luck, he was the performer. As soon as you recognized him up on stage you felt the room start to move underneath your feet, you felt dizzy like you would float away and yet you couldn’t move at all as if glued to the floor by his magnetism. It was the first of many times you would see him preform but it was your favorite and the one you kept closest to your heart. He was fun and charismatic, had people chanting his music back to him and dancing happily, his stage presence shone brightly but it also felt authentic. Time later you would realize when he was on stage he was most honest and truly himself and when he was with you, well you didn’t really know what to belive. 
You stood there in the middle of moving bodies with booming bass pounding in your ears, completely enamored by his presence, and you knew you weren’t the only one. Out of the corner of your eyes you would see all the pretty girls close to the stage raising their hands to touch him, to get his attention. Star power underneath the surface waiting to come out, he was standing at the edge of greatness and didn’t even realize it. Knowing you had actually had him in your bed not so long ago filled you with a weird sense of pride, but seeing their sparkling eyes beaming up at him also gave you a weird sense of jealousy that you knew you had no right to. At some point during his set you felt you had caught his eye and he seemed to smile when he recognized you but quickly looked away so you must have imagined it. Yet when it all ended and people were quickly dispersing after he disappeared back stage you saw security guard signaling to you with his hand when you looked at him he said. 
”You can come backstage.”
Your friend elbowed you with a giggle. “I didn’t know you were a groupie.”
“Neither did I.” You shrugged quickly and waved goodbye to your group to follow the man to the back of the venue.
You moved through long corridors until you reached a small room filled with people drinking and talking that didn't even look up at you. He appeared right in front of you, still shirtless and sweaty with messy hair sticking to his forehead. 
“Hi!” He said still a little breathless before pulling you in.
You looked around, everyone was busy on their own conversations, he had offered you a beer and you took it.
“Brining girls backstage after your show is kinda trashy.” You said with a small smile, he took a sip of his own drink and shrugged lightly. 
“Well I only bring the prettiest ones so it isn’t as bad, no?”
That one had hurt uncomfortably, you didn’t know exactly why so you just took a sip of the beer avoiding his eyes. He noticed your silence and tried to get your attention back, he had been eagerly waiting for your call and when you didn’t he felt stupid for not asking for your number instead.  
“You didn’t call me.” He said matter of factly staring you down, you were hoping he wouldn’t bring it up, not really sure what your excuse should be for that, he continued. “You just used me for my body and threw me out!” He added faking an insulted tone covering at his chest with his hands, you rolled your eyes at him and laughed. 
“You got me” You said all sarcastic.
He giggled then bent down a little to speak directly in your ear. “Then use me again. Or was I that bad?”
You had snorted shaking your head, you blushed deeply, red blooming over your face quickly.  He liked making you laugh, pulling that sweet sound off your lips and making you blush too, you would become so impossibly beautiful when a pretty red blush adorned your face, those became his favorite pastimes in the months he would be with you.
You had taken him back to your place that night and many after. It started a routine of seeing each other multiple times per week and then almost every day for months. He liked how you became bolder every time you did it, glowed more beautiful in the night with the light of the lampshade and became more outspoken about your desires, shy at first but then couldn’t get enough of him, it made him feel desired and important in ways that he hadn't in a long time.  It made him feel wanted like never before, it made his heart ache hoping for more but too scared to ask for it. And he got better too, was eager to listen to your little whimpers and sounds and the things you liked that made you wetter and hungrier.
He genuinely liked you, having sex was great but he enjoyed listening to you talk about your day, things so mundane he wouldn’t even know about but when coming form your lips seemed so interesting. He enjoyed showering together, in the smallest shower he had ever seen, while you giggled and pushed him away when he tried to grab you just to end up making out naked in the couch because otherwise your water bill would be too high. He like learning what foods you liked and which you didn’t, trial and error with each take out he brought when he visited, seeing the way your eyes lit up when he made a good choice and how you had the tiniest of pouts when he made the wrong one but still always so grateful, it made his heart skip a beat every time he could learn a new expression of yours. He just really enjoyed your company and your time, sometimes he would bring food but your would be too busy for anything else so you would just share a meal while you did your university work and he played on his phone or watched TV, those days ended up becoming his favorites even though he never told you, because when you were done you would always just ask him to stay the night saying it was too late for him to leave and he would, he wanted you to ask him to stay forever.
He liked sleeping in your embrace and waking up before you did to look at your calm beauty, but he also often left before you woke up suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling that this was no longer just a fling and he didn’t know what his next step was. 
He would sometimes stumble into your apartment after a show, a little tipsy and all red to the tip of his ears, smelling of smoke but with a pretty smile adorning his face, a face you could never say no to. You didn’t like it at first, the smell of cigarettes would linger on your bed sheets but habit is a nasty monster and then it wouldn’t be so annoying, it would just remind you of him in a nice way even when he was gone by the morning. It also made you feel stupidly important, even though you knew he had no problem finding someone else to entertain his nights, he always seemed to be looking for you no matter how late or inconvenient making his way to your place was. And things were mostly fun, he would talk about music a lot, draw sitting in the little table at your kitchen and just enjoy spending his entire free days curled in your old couch even thought you distantly felt he could probably be doing something more exciting but you never asked because you didn’t want to ruin your own good luck. 
Those honeymoon days kept pilling one onto the other until his presence became a sweet habit and his absence hurt like hell.  He was nice and probably a lot better than some relationships you had had but not everything was perfect, not even close. He seemed to have this mask he would wear for the world, only really honest with his closest ones and you were clearly were not one of them, so you felt like you were staring from outside a window into him and taking whatever crumble of his love he felt comfortable giving you, it made you feel pathetic and so abandoned even when you shared a bed.
You stupidly yearned for more, but knew you wouldn’t get it so you just put on a brave front and kept opening your heart to him hoping soon he would do the same for you. You could tell faintly from the first time you met him he was putting on a persona, that the real man behind that wasn’t willing to come out and meet you and that was okay you kept telling yourself, he was hot and you wanted a warm body at night, that was all. But as the months pilled on, it became lonely, to have virtually a stranger sleeping next to you, someone who would make you cum over and over on his fingers, his mouth, his dick but refused to speak beyond the superficial and was way too good at changing topics when you tried to get closer as if he was slamming a door against your face but with a warm smile plastered on his lips.  
And in truth you were nothing, not real friends and not real lovers. He never once called you his girlfriend in almost a year you had been seeing each other and you never introduced him to your friends. You would meet on nights where it was cold and just play pretend of a life you couldn’t have. Sometimes he would have you backstage with his group and others it would be different girls and you never wanted to learn if he was also sleeping with them or they were just friends, you had no right to know and truly the less you knew the better. He didn’t sleep with them, not really since he met you, it just wasn’t as exciting as watching you remove your makeup while you rambled about annoying projects and evil classmates. Even if he had told you, you wouldn’t have believed him, so he never did. 
The real day things ended between you two happened a couple months before you actually stopped seeing each other. It was a long weekend, he arrived on Thursday night and stayed until Sunday in that little cramped university apartment you rented and that he came to love as if it was part of you. He brought some take out and beer as always and you were just so happy to see him. You spent the whole weekend having sex and eating whatever junk you could get your hands on at some point you stopped bothering putting on clothes that he would just take off. You would eat, fuck, bathe then sleep, wake up and do it all over again so much so the days started melting into each other in a delicious bliss that would last too little. 
Sunday night you were melting into each other’s touch for whatever time it was since he came.  He had looked in your nightstand for the bunch of condoms he brought only to realize too late it was all gone. 
“Fuck.” he whispered, you were underneath him all wet and pliant, ready for his touch. 
“What?” You said looking for what his eyes were searching for and realized. “Oh…”
“I’ll go to the store, give me a minute.” He said starting to get up already thinking about how cold it was outside, how warm your bed was, how pretty you looked and how stupid he was for not bringing more. 
“You don’t have to.” Your voice had felt distant like a whisper, he searched for your face in the dark of the room unsure of if he heard correctly, you looked away avoiding his eyes, you were bright red even in the dark of the room he could tell. “You can do it raw I don’t mind.” You mumbled against the pillows.
His dick had been harder than ever before. “Are you sure liefde?” 
He wanted to, of course he wanted to, had been dreaming about it constantly since the first time you had sex and would fantasize about it when he was away doing some show when he masturbated with your beautiful image in his mind.
“Yeah, I want you.” You had met his gaze, he kissed you slow deeply, like it was the first time he touched you. 
He had taken his time kissing at every nook and cranny of your body, softly massaging at your tired limbs, warming up his way with kisses and asking constantly if you felt good. You kept whimpering with soft tears streaming from your eyes from pleasure and from love at his ministrations, he had his fingers deep into you touching you softly like you could break while petting at your swollen clit, making sure you were ready to take him. When you had felt your climax building up you had pushed at his wrist. 
“I want to cum with you.” You whined. 
He knew in that moment he was in love with you, no matter how hard he had tried to avoid it the feeling just wouldn’t go away and now it was biting viciously at his heart threatening to tear him apart.
He nodded and slid slowly into you asking if you were alright all the way through as you nodded. When he finally bottomed out he stopped moving for a minute so overwhelmed by everything, he kissed at your forehead, at your cheeks, at your pretty nose and deep at your sweet lips. He kept his forehead against yours, thrusting fast in and pulling out painfully slow, your mouths were inches apart, breathing in the same air, lips brushing against each other in perpetual kiss, he reached so deep you could almost feel him in your lungs it was so delicious it made your brain stop working so you blurted out.
“I love you Joost.”
He suddenly pounded hard into you, his hips stuttered as he came without a warning and collapsed on top of you, his full weight on your body, panting heavily right on your ear. He gave you a few more weak thrust as he rode his high with you clinging to his back. 
“Fuck schat feels so good, so good.” He whimpered as held you close to his chest, you felt his heart beating wildly, felt his release paint your walls, and when he pulled out you felt cum start to trickle from your thighs. When he could finally regain his composure a little he looked up at you with beautiful blue eyes. 
“Sorry liefde, you felt too good.” He smiled up at you apologetic.
You loved and hated when he used pet names on you, loved it because it made you feel special and hated them because he would only use them in the middle of sex so he couldn’t be too serious about it.
He was never a selfish lover, he quickly gathered himself up and grabbed at the back of your thighs pushing them to your chest. 
“Hold for me yes?” He had said, you followed his instructions blindly before you saw him disappear between your legs, you felt his warm tongue lapping at your cunt deeply moaning into you sending delicious waves of pleasure up your spine, you were already so close you wouldn’t last at all.
“Joost!” You had screamed, the delicious sensation and the surprise at what he was doing right after cumming inside you mixing into one.
He pushed his fingers deep into your heat to keep you full, pumped into you at slow steady pace while his lips closed around your clit sucking generously and in no time you were coming undone under his touch, he kept licking you through your high prolonging it as much as he could before he felt you pull away from his touch with overstimulation. When you were done he raised his head from between your legs again, chin and mouth wet with your and his release and a proud expression on his face, he wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand before laying in bed next to you and pulling you to his chest.
“Isn’t it gross?” You had asked when you could finally breath again so bewildered at what he had just done.
He laughed like the question itself was stupid. “No, not really. Nothing that makes you feel good could be gross to me.” 
He had left in the morning without acknowledging what you said that night. 
You tried to ignore how he didn't reply to your confession, tried to push it behind, tried not to feel pathetic about it. You tried to console yourself by imagining you were probably part of a club of girls he had taken to bed who had accidentally blurted out love confessions in the middle of it, yeah right, that has to have happened to someone else too, right? He was just so charismatic and beautiful you saw the way the front rows at his shows were always adorned with the prettiest girls and if you were not the only one this had happened to then it was less embarrassing. Except it wasn’t, because the thought of him being with other girls made you want to puke. After that you kept seeing him because clearly you had a complete lack of self respect or perhaps you were in love and couldn’t decide which one was worse. 
You remember the day he called you for the last time so well even when you have tried again and again to forget it. You were cooking dinner and just answered his video call while you kept moving around the kitchen. You talked for a bit about some university drama but could tell his mind was elsewhere, at this point you knew better than to push him because what he didn't want to share with you he simply wouldn’t say, you were painfully used to his selective silence. 
Finally he ended the suspense and he spoke. “I’m gonna be gone for over a month.” He sounded uncharacteristically formal and cold in a way you had never heard from him before but you didn’t notice it at the time.
“Oh.” you had said plainly as you continued chopping vegetables. 
To this day he wishes you would have looked at him at least once, then he wouldn’t have been strong enough to say what he did.
“I mean, you can sleep with others you know? You don’t have to wait for me.”
The sound of the knife on the cutting board was the only thing that made cut through the heavy silence inside the tiny apartment, you held onto that knife for dear life as if if you let go of it you would crumble instantly and you couldn’t do that in front of him.
“I see.” You mumbled feeling your eyes burn with tears you were holding back.
So he would also sleep with others right? That is what he wanted to say, he was just looking for a way to softly let you down, to let you know that whatever you had going on had become boring and stale and he was going to visit new cities every night and get his fill of as many pretty girls as he would meet and you would become nothing but a fuzzy image in the rear-view mirror of his life. You felt your heart breaking into dust at the realization that you were nothing to him, that you had always been nothing to him.
He had looked at you through the screen waiting to see if you would say something else, tell him you didn’t want that or curse him out for being so cowardly, for not even being able to face you, but you didn’t. 
“I have to finish this.”
Before he got another word out you ended the call with shaky hands, not even once looking up at him and those were the last words he would hear from your mouth for four years. 
You moved away. You couldn’t stand the thought of running into him, the thought of accidentally seeing him with someone else, you felt you recognized him in the shadows and it made you feel like you were going crazy. So right before he was set to come back you made the decision, quickly made arrangements for a program you had been eyeing at some point but didn’t want to commit to, however right now it was the perfect excuse to leave and never have to look back, never have to sleep again in that bed you once shared, never once having to be alone again in that tiny apartment where so many times you had fallen in love with him and that now felt like a prison collapsing on top of you. 
During tour you had stopped answering his texts and calls, that was fine, he felt he deserved it, but he wanted to make it up to you. At the time when he told you you could sleep with others he hadn’t really meant it, and he didn't do it either, he couldn't stop thinking about you even for a second but he had just felt guilty for making you wait so long even thought he was not even you boyfriend, so he thought this way it would be fine, less selfish with you, give you the opportunity to escape him. However, all he had done was hurt you and break his own heart in the process too. But he could still make it right, when he got back he would take you out, to a proper date in a nice restaurant because you deserved it, you deserved the moon and the stars and he had been an idiot for trying to pretend like he wasn’t deeply stupidly foolishly in love with you. He had bought you this perfume you mentioned once and he would talk to you properly, he would make things right again, he kept repeating himself, and he would figure out what he wanted of you.
When he actually came back you were nowhere to be found, painfully late he realized that you had never introduced him to your friends, never once told him exactly were you worked at or the name of your university and he had been so stupid and full of himself he didn’t bother to learn. Now all too late he realized he had no way of tracking you down. You had gone up in the wind leaving with a piece of his heart he didn’t even realize he had given you. 
As such is life you were back in Amsterdam, four years later. You didn’t feel paranoid that you would run into him anymore, rarely ever thought of him honestly and when you did it was almost a weird funny melancholia. Since then he had become a much bigger star than he would have ever envisioned and you felt a weird sort of pride that you had had a fling with someone like that. You never told anyone aside from a couple of really close friends who had had to dry your tears when everything went wrong but now it was fine. It was a healed wound that only ever really bothered you on cold days, but that was normal you kept telling yourself. You had met for a moment of your lives and were now old strangers, that was all that was left.
At least you thought so until one day after work while you are binge watching some series in your new apartment while shoveling take out into your mouth your phone rings. You had gotten lucky enough to get the same number as before and thought it could serve you to reconnect with some old friends from university but you didn’t even imagine who would be on the other side of the line. 
“Hello.” You say distracted still chewing, you don’t recognize the caller ID.
“Hey.” The voice sounds shaky, nervous, deeper, distantly familiar, no, you are lying to yourself, you know exactly who it is but you wish with everything you have that you are wrong.
“Who is this?” You ask in silent prayer that it is just a telemarketer and just your brain playing a bad joke on you.
“I know it has been a while but I didn’t expect you to not recognize me.” He says laughing uncomfortably, knows he has no right to be calling but still wants you to answer. “It is Joost, I’m Joost I mean.” He sounds stupid, he feels embarrassed, he feels himself blushing, his palms are sweaty holding tightly at the phone until his knuckles turn white.
“Oh.” Your voice sounds like a whisper.
“Listen I- I heard that you were back, I thought-” He stops, takes a deep breath he can’t hear you anymore, wonders if you already hung up, it would be deserved but it would still hurt like hell. “I was wondering if you would want to have dinner with me to catch up?” 
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
Part 2
MASTERLIST *ੈ✩‧₊˚ A/N: lets decide together!
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beesmygod · 1 year
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we can all look back on and laugh at this when im wrong, but it seems like social media in its current incarnation is dying an undignified and overdue death. it turns out throwing all of humanity into one room and expecting everyone to develop a single ethos was beyond insane conceptually and the artists who built their following on social media are probably in a tail spin right now. people jumping to bluesky are insane lol. did you forget jack dorsey is the idiot who got us into this mess in the first place. why would you choose to subject yourself to this shit again. for what purpose?
the stock answer i got was that "for discoverability/audience" and if that's true thats a problem. i've been hollerin about this to anyone who would listen prior to this but the customer base of twitter (and all social media) is its advertisers. they have not been shy from the start about that fact because its the only way they generate income, as far as i know. YOU (the user) are the product. YOU (still the user) are also what draws people to the site. there is not a social media website on earth that has figured out that making a good website (which would require hiring and paying for quality labor over an extended period of time) is more likely to result in economic success than exclusively courting the businesses whose interest is in making the website worse to use with ads. at no point were our interests ever a factor.
in fact, imo, the number of people following you is not an accurate representational sample of your audience. the reasonable assumption you should make is that the vast majority of numbers involved with any website (esp those with a vested interest in showing off big numbers to VC investors or advertising execs) are inflated or just outright fake. the numbers exist solely to drive you insane and make awful people happy. the numbers cause you and everyone around you to start spontaneously spawning myths about a beast called "the algorithm" that possesses the incredible traits of being both something you can game for success or blame for your failures. it coerces you into enacting out nonsense superstitions to try to counteract or appease it in the hopes of, let's be honest, breaking it big and going viral. this way, you, the creator, do not have to do the hard work of building up a rapport with an audience. none of this goes anything but adds more numbers for the ceos to look at and nod approvingly or disapprovingly at.
the people running the world today are, without exaggeration, cartoon villains. they are deeply stupid, devoid of empathy, and open about their intent to do deeply evil acts in order to further their economic interests. trying to derive some kind of financial benefit from the creations of these unapologetic losers was always bound to be a wasted effort. the best thing i can say about twitter, a website i was banned from countless times and returned to out of stubborn desire, was that i got to make some great jokes with friends and cause some chaos lol. letting people know i have a web comic was always a secondary function once the realization of what social media was turning out to be set in like 7 years ago. any artist who insists that you have to do this or that on this or that social media site is trying to drag you down into the quagmire of online numbers poisoning.
run away!!! children heed my advice!!! the joy of creation does not lie on a path that encourages you to cater to the lowest common denominators while casting your net. just fucking have fun with it. if its not fun then it wont even be fun to do financially anyway. and isnt that, like. the point.
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mjbarrosart · 2 months
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My Dragon Prince Boards season 6, episode 608
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Hello, everyone!
Finally I have some time to write this! You can not imagine how demanding is to work making television shows, everything is for yesterday, haha!
Complains about work aside, it is time to talk about my last episode of season 6, episode 8. This one was... special.
I can say without a doubt that this was one of the most emotional episodes I have ever worked on. I cried every time I watched the animatic, and I cried again watching the final episode a few days ago.
I think is a lot of things together: a lot of important things happens, characters die, Katolis is destroyed, one of the quasars is fake! Aaravos!!! ... but also because I witnessed my team bring together their A game, telling this story in such a beautiful way.
I learned a lot from this episode, specially from my Unit Director, Mike Jones, who was in charge of boarding the "Hearts of Cinder" spell sequence; what a masterclass of emotion, storytelling and cinematography! I love Jason Simpson's performance during the show, but in particular in that sequence, and I think the boards took everything to a new level.
Now, let's go back to my sequences.
My first one was Soren going down to Viren to ask him to perform the spell. It was good to have this last interaction between both of them after all the work I did with the characters in 605.
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There is a lot of subtle staging in this one. The way the light is hitting over their heads, how present in the screen the staff is; Viren's hesitance is something that I remember was important for me to portrait properly.
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One of the things we talked a lot during this sequence was in how to use the light as narrative element. I was not interested in the classical reading of going into the light as "good" and shadows as "bad".
But light as hope, options, forgiveness, etc.
Viren walks away from the light when he gets offered the staff not because he is going "bad" but because he doesn't feel capable to do what he is being asked to do.
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Soren is coming directly to him, removing his chains, giving him back his staff, asking him for help. But Viren hesitates.
And I think that that was a genius think for the script to call. Viren is not a man looking for the first chance to "redeem" himself. I am not even sure that he believes that he deserves that possibility.
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But they are running out of time. The situation is dire, and as the light get blocked by the falling debris, the options are becoming clearer. Hope is dim, but there is something to do: Hearts of Cinder.
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Viren, still full of doubts, explains to Soren why the spell is so hard to perform: the price is a human heart. A price that the Viren of the past would have pay with not second thought, but not the current one, no the one who understands the weight of dark magic.
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But Soren has no doubts: "Take mine" I still have chills listening to the delivery of that line. And I think here is the moment Viren decided to sacrifice himself. While he is being consumed by doubt and fear, his son will is clear, Soren will do the right thing, even if that cost him his life.
And that is what Viren never had before. The willingness to sacrifice himself for the greater good. He looked at his reflection in Soren's golden heart and saw and answer, saw love, hope.
I just think is beautiful that Soren's conviction gave him the chance to do the right thing for once. Soren taught him the ultimate lesson.
I love this two so much.
My next sequence is a simple one, Terry and Claudia arriving to Katolis. I liked to draw Claudia's new hair. I wish I had more sequences with her in this season.
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After this is Moon nexus time!
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After all the drama with Viren and Soren the massage sequences felt a little silly, hahaha. but was fun to make.
I added the little detail of Rayla having issues landing, while Callum is just so good at it, haha. Fun to have their roles reversed for one, and Rayla being the clumsy one.
I like the moment when Lujanne ask them if they are a couple again and they exchange this nice look. I know that Rayllum is a huge thing in the fandom, and while they are not my type of ship (I am into the sapphics, you know) I think that they are pretty cute together, and Is always fun to make moments between them.
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I just wanted to share with you this silly face, lol. Sometimes you draw things in boards that don't translate that well into the final show, but It is fun anyway, you want to inspire the animators to push the performance as much as they can.
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Back to serious business. I love the shift when our heroes realized that there is only 2 quasars and 3 coins. Callums turn into Raylla knowing that this will destroy her. I really enjoy how the use of the lens to blur Lujanne in the Background creates this efect of hyperfocus on Callum and Rayla.
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She is facing a terrible decision, who to save. So we move the camera to focus only on them. Is an intimate moment.
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I like this framing, Rayla is in pain, crying, Callum is listening, but by the framing we can se that he is holding her. Callum is there for her, always.
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And that is how I finished my last sequences of season 6, with Rayla crying.
Working on this season was one of the honors of my life. And I can wait to share with you how was making season 7, because was... A LOT, for sure! hahahaha.
Hope you like this! And feel free to ask if you have questions about the storyboard process!
And thanks for all the notes, comments and support! It is truly appreciated!
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A little bonus:
Look a the cool crew jacket that Bardel gave us when we wrapped seasons 4 to 7! (Finally I can show it without making it an spoiler of the name of season 7!!)
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ms-demeanor · 1 year
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sex work is work, no problem with that, but spamming sex work absolutely everywhere now is not okay. bot or not, it is not okay to shove your probably fake/stolen tits or ass into everyone's face even where kids are. it is absolutely the lowest, cheapest trash doing that. are these people showing their barely covered up pussy to school kids on the street to maybe get a customer? because they are doing exactly that on the internet. if you cant find customers and need to lower yourself to std ridden junkey trash standards who missed the way and entitled themselves to begging for money outside trash town, zero support from me!
Yeah you really sound like someone who supports sex workers. That's what I always think when I hear people using words like "disease-ridden" and "junkie" - 'wow, that person must be SUCH an ally. braver than any US marine, thank you for your service, person who believes sex work is work but thinks STIs or drug addiction are 'trash'.'
So, point by point:
It's not absolutely everywhere. You don't see people trying to link their onlyfans on facebook most of the time (i've actually never seen it but i could believe it is happening, though it's not common because FB has real-name policies that are unfriendly to sex workers). You're unlikely to see fansly links as sidebar ads on cspan. People aren't linking their pages in the amazon reviews. You're seeing it "everywhere" because you're not going anywhere. Tell me you spend all your time on two to three platforms without telling me you spend all your time on two to three platforms. Instagram, tiktok, twitter, and tumblr are full of people who are promoting all kinds of brands and one of those kinds of brands is sex work.
Those are also all platforms that have age restrictions and behavior standards, and of all of them tumblr is the one that has the history of being the most openly sexual and the least connected to legal identities. People are linking to their diy porn because of the culture of these websites both currently and historically. I once posted a video on this website of me bringing myself to orgasm in a public bathroom stall then inserting a dildo into my vagina before I went on stage and performed a set with my band. I did it for free and for fun five years ago, the week before the porn ban hit.
What I'm saying here is that the culture of this website has a much longer history of openness about sex and sexuality and the visual presentation of sex than it does of being full of people who think teens shouldn't see nipples. This is an *extremely* reasonable place to post information linking to porn that you make and to use cute pictures of yourself to do so.
It's also really easy to tell that these people aren't bots or using stolen images because the whole point of the live platform is that you can click through and go talk to them. Strange Aeons did just that and you can see what happened. (click on that video for a fun cameo at 6:04) Turns out live users are just a bunch of people (not networks stealing images the way that actual porn *bots* on tumblr do) and the ones who are trying to do sex work on the live platform itself get banned.
But also kids too young to see the occasional boob shouldn't be on tumblr! (like, seriously, define kids. what age is too young to see the kinds of images allowed by the tumblr live tos? how about the ones banned by the tumblr live tos? How old should you have to be before someone shows you an ahegao face on a hoodie in public? What should the punishment be for the ahegao fashionistas for exposing six year olds to anime tongues? What should the minimum age be to go on the beach and see men in speedos? Fifteen, or is that still abusive to children? Maybe we should make it twenty to be safe, or better yet why don't we make it twenty AND ban speedos? this is what you sound like, you fucking asshole). Tumblr has age limits and people under that age limit shouldn't be looking at most things on this website. A smiling woman in a bikini top or a dude with his abs out are fucking nothing compared to the kind of damage you personally and specifically are trying to inflict with your shitty ideas.
Posting t&a on tumblr is not at all comparable to doing street level work and soliciting children for a number of reasons, but I'd just like to really take the time to point out that you just compared the profile pics on tumblr live to sexually soliciting a child. You literally did the "x group i hate are pedophiles" thing, which is exactly why it's such a huge problem that any and all types of nudity have been stigmatized online. We have created an entirely new paradigm of "pedophile" that means "existed around a child while wearing tight pants." You are such a fucking clueless, sanctimonious pile of shit that you can't even see that that's what you're doing. This is literally, exactly kink at pride discourse.
And that's even if I grant you that these people are posting t&a! Go look at the live leaderboards, you don't have to accept the ToS to see the leaderboards! We are talking about *at most* saucy pin-up levels of eroticism. I have seen fucking holiday cards with more visible cleavage than any of the top 200 tumblr live streamers right now.
The only thing in your final sentence that makes any sense is that you are positioning tumblr as trash town.
Yeah. I'm actually not at all impressed by tumblr recently and that has a lot more to do with the influx or resurgence of nuance-allergic, anti-sex, whiny shits like you than it does with a banner that i can scroll past in a quarter of a second.
I want people reading this to really, really sit down and think about what they're calling assault or hypersexualiztion or whatever. We are talking about profile pictures. You are so offended by a bar of 4 profile pictures at the top of your dash that you're comparing regular ass humans (some of whom are sex workers and some of whom are just streamers who took thirst trap selfies) to the real life solicitation and abuse of children.
TOUCHING GRASS IS NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU PLEASE GO INTERACT WITH ACTUAL REAL HUMANS WHO DON'T KNOW WHAT DASHCON OR MILKSHAKE DUCK ARE. YOU ARE CRITICALLY INTERNET POISONED AND IF YOU TALKED TO SOMEONE AT THE DMV AND DESCRIBED IT AS ASSAULTING CHILDREN TO HAVE SOMEONE IN A BIKINI ON A BILLBOARD THEY WOULD IMMEDIATELY BEGIN TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET AWAY FROM YOU. THINK OF THIS POST AS THE CARBON MONOXIDE DETECTOR TELLING YOU THAT THE SHADOWS YOU'RE SEEING AREN'T ACTUALLY DEMONS BUT THAT YOU ARE GOING TO REALLY REGRET IT IF YOU DON'T GO OUTSIDE.
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jakesangel · 4 months
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jake dating idol!jake ꣑୧ - drabbles ver - requested
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make sure to read the headcanon first <3
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end if the year ceremonies
wow, hyung i don't think i can handle it, jake would whisper to heesung as your walking to the stage. she looks too pretty tonight, i can not not give it away, he would add w a pout. and he was so right. the second he sees you in the big screen, winking at the camera, all dolled up, fuck hee- he'd try to say but thankfully jungwon stopped him, knowing fans are alwasy recording idols' reactions. he would try to keep his face emotionless, just bobbing his head along the beat, but if the song too good, he'll get up along other idols dancing in tiny to your song. he'd be the one clapping the loudest when you're done, n when you pass in front of him, bowing as a sign of respect, he'd whisper, you did so well, my love.
weverse/vlive
engene have you heard of this song ? it's so good hold on lemme put it on, he would say as his eyes that was once on the phone, recording him, going to his laptop to go thru his spotify playlist. wooow or let's gauur would be added as he hears your voice. he would also put his hands up, snapping along the beat. n if he is feeling bold he would fake read a comment as your song ends ' y/n is such a nice singer ' yes she is ! we've met before for a tiktok challenge, engene must know that right ? she is also very nice.
music shows
안녕하새요 he'd say w a bow as he sees you n ur manger coming closer to him to record tiktok challenges. he obviously already know the choreography of your song, n already have an ending pose. but he would keep his cool n not get overly excited, specially whne the cameras are rolling, we could do this as an ending pose, if that's okay with you, showing you the venom hand sign. tho whne you agree, his special smile for you could be seen without him knowing, giddiness buzzing out of his body. he would still smile as he dances to your song, finally happy to be seen w you n hoping his supporters n yours would ship. n that wouldn't go unnoticed to engenes as he is know to lip his lips, this time his teeth showing.
off camera
come on bby, lemme come over. i promise you i'll cover up well n your company won't know, he would say in a late night call, his pout as clear as water. please baby i miss you so munch, he'd whine almost begging when you keep telling him no. but if you don't valid reasons for him to not come over, he would just hang up n come to you, straight away. n once the door is slightly open he would hug you instantly, my princess, he'd say w a sigh, you were so so pretty today. do you know how hard it was for me to not look at you ? hum ? he'd add pulling you back, one hand holding your chin. n as he come close to your lips, my pretty pretty princess, all mine, finally kissing you.
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notes : hai anon bby ᵎᵎ thank you for making me write this i can NOT believe i didnt in the other one >< j hope you like it as munhc as i had fun writing it <3 lemme kno
@imaluckygirl @luvj4key @stwrjvke @amouriu @neos127 @goldenretrieverjakezgirlbaby @jaeyunpinkyring @pockettwinzz @jwsdoll @heeheeswifey @sjylouvre @txnwvc @oopshee
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beatrixstonehill2 · 2 months
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"Fuck why am I even considering this??? I've already completely destroyed my tits. I don't know what I was thinking! They were so big and soft and fun to play with. I fantasized every day about getting them mangled and chopped up, cut to bits! Men absolutely loved them, I couldn't go out without guys grabbing them and having some fun, which I always encouraged. I was a OO-Cup, it would've been selfish for me to keep them all to myself and not let them grope me wherever I went. But in the last couple months before my reduction I started asking the men how they'd feel if I got my tits chopped off. Some reacted in horror, others told me they'd love to see my breasts get destroyed in many creative ways. I wanted to indulge some of those fantasies, and boy did I ever when I was alone at night... but I had to be somewhat reasonable and just ask for a reduction by a professional surgeon and not some TikTok dude chopping off girls' boobs in his garage for cheap.
Nope! I proved I still have some control..... even though my breast destruction fantasies had totally consumed my life. It started to be all I'd talk about. If I saw a big breasted girl I'd tell whoever I was with she'd look awesome if she had her boobs chopped off. I did the same with women in the restroom, I'd tell them I'm doing it and they should totally go flat. I think I convinced like twenty some girls to have their boobs reduced or totally removed..... I feel like a total freak for doing it but it turns me on to no end. I even confided to my surgeon that I was going down to a B-Cup because the thought of 'ruining' my breasts was my biggest turn on. He assured me I was far from the first girl to say that. But he warned me I'll still be greedy and want to have my perky little B-Cups cut off....
Everything was fine for like three months. I loved showing off my new, although very scarred boobs. I never wore a bra. Soooo many girls asked me who my surgeon was and complimented 'what an amazing job he did', like it was this huge accomplishment that I paid a man to cut apart and maim my breasts, then throw most of them away in the trash. I encourage every busty girl I see to get a reduction, even if they're only a DD. I love showing my before/after pics and watching their jaws drop. I wish I wasn't so turned on by this! It's amazing how many girls with big 'perfect' tits you can easily talk into getting a reduction or even double mastectomy. You just have to tell them they'd be so much hotter without those big bouncing weights dragging them down. My favorite was calling their breasts 'excess fat', that always did the trick. Or if they had big fake boobs I'd tell them they'd be so much prettier without all that plastic stuffed in their breasts. Even if their implants were glamorous and looked natural I'd tell them they should really have them yanked out, since they're so unflattering.....
Then one day I slipped up. I told a girl with gorgeous JJ-Cup boobs that I went down to a B-Cup and she totally should, too. She agreed and said she'd been considering it for ages and I gave her the push she needed! But I added after that, 'I'm still thinking of going smaller'. She seemed surprised but told me good luck and she said I'd look hot totally flat chested. So I started telling more women I was thinking of going flat...... Guess what? I'm having the rest of my boobs removed on Monday! I know, they look so cute and I do really like them, but I also loved my OO-Cups..... Fuck I can't believe I'm going to completely chop them off. The really perverted thing is.... all I can think about is how much easier it'll be to convince more girls to go for double mastectomies and just pull the Band-Aid and get their boobs chopped off completely. I'm already salivating just thinking of all the big fat titties I'm going to get destroyed with my friendly advice.....❤️"
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