#also those shows give me nightmares and I think Sander would feel the same way

[if-music-be-the-food-of-love]

What tv shows do you think Robbe and Sander binge watch on Netflix?

I am so utterly unqualified to answer this. 😳😂I can’t even—I mean I almost never watch what other people are watching, and I always show up way too late, like years after the show ended (I kinda need to know how it ends before I’m willing to spend the time on it; probably why skam appeals to me). I also prefer movies bc tv shows get cancelled or don’t follow logical plot or character progressions and end up hurting, angering, or disappointing me (case in point: wtfock).

BUT, I will give it a try. The only thing we know for sure is that Robbe watches Elite. So here goes…

When season 3 of Elite came out, Robbe convinced Sander to binge the whole series with him. Sander calls Omander by the 2nd episode, and he actually gasps and whispers, “no,” when they found out what happened at the pool. He secretly likes Guzman even tho his toxic masculinity can be a bit much. By season 3 he’s as in love with him as Nadia. When it’s over, he turns to Robbe and says, “you know this show is seriously messed up, right?” Robbe shrugs and says, “tell me you didn’t enjoy it?” And Sander just rolls his eyes and kisses him bc yeah, he did like it.

They’ve definitely watched Sex Education. Multiple times Robbe has to cover his eyes and cower in secondhand embarrassment, and Sander just howls, trying to peel his fingers off of his face. They’re both crazy about Jackson and would protect Eric at all costs (personal side note: French Horn rep, yeah!!!). They also yelled at the tv at the end of season two when Maeve and Otis don’t get their shit together. Sander couldn’t stop whining about how long they had to wait for the next season, and if they put it off another season he was going to boycott. Robbe makes fun of him for throwing a dramatic tantrum but secretly agrees.

They watched The Umbrella Academy as soon as it came out bc Sander had to know why there was a talking chimpanzee. Robbe was intrigued by the premise. Neither of them have a favorite character bc it changes all the time. Sander much prefers Diego’s season 2 look, and Robbe brushes back his long hair and rubs his hand over his several days of stubble and jokes, “I wonder why?” Sander teases that he sometime feels like “Five,” the old man stuck hanging out with younger idiots, but when Robbe attacks him and tickles him until they fall onto the floor, he takes it back and mumbles something unintelligible about the Broerrrs obviously being super mature.

They watched The Witcher bc of all the hype, and about halfway through, Robbe turns to Sander and says, “you know, I’m really not that into muscles. I mean, they’re not bad, but like, I dunno, they’re just not my thing.” Sander smiles at him teasingly and says, “oh I don’t know, I quite like muscles.” When Robbe frowns at him, Sander qualifies it by grabbing Robbe’s arm and then running his hands over his shoulders, back, and chest. “I like these muscles.” “San, you know I meant big muscles,” he whines back. Sander ignores him and removes his shirt, and they miss the rest of the episode. Neither of them care.

Sander convinced Robbe to watch The Dark Crystal, and he spent the whole series marveling and commenting on all the puppets and costumes and how amazing everything was, visually stunning, just beautifully done. Robbe expected to hate it, but ended up wanting a 2nd season more than Sander.

They’ve definitely watched Breaking Bad, Stranger Things, and Tiger King. Also, bc Robbe liked Elite, and it’s basically a sexed up murder mystery, I would think that maybe he’d like shows like Mindhunters, NCIS, or Criminal Minds. But Sander doesn’t, so after several nights of Robbe putting one on before bed, Sander asks him to stop bc they give him nightmares—just too creepy and realistic.

Robbe immediately changed tack, and instead they binged Young Wallander, Lupin, and Sherlock as a compromise. They are currently watching Zero.

[goodieghosty]

Me: Goddammit brain please you already have so many sanders sides aus you do not need to make another one just because of one audio-

Also me: owo modern gods au, all of the sides are gods

But uh ye

Please stop me but also don't because uh, 👀 I'm already imagining all the drama they all would have gone through and I love it.

Roman and Remus are both gods of the arts and are able to create anything so long as they can imagine it. Their creative differences are what split them apart until recent years, they're still in competition with each other, of course. Remus is absolutely responsible for every nightmare inducing creature on the planet

Patton is a fertility god, and is known as a protector of children. It's not easy to get on his bad side, unless, of course, that person is an abuser. Then he will make it his personal duty to make sure their crops suffer. But not many have crops nowadays, so their bad fortune will manifest in other ways. Impotence, for example. A demotion. Success will never come that person's way. He's very morals based, and back in the day if a farmer had bad crops if was often seen as them not being in Patton's favor. Basically if you had "good morals" you'd thrive, if you didn't, you'd suffer. He's a little lost now, as he's coming to terms with the fact that not everything is black and white.

Logan is a god of wisdom and innovation. Scholars would turn to him for insight and he would provide them through visions. He's always searching for bright minds to help further humanity, but often times they do not heed him, and that infuriates him to no end.

Janus is a god of deception and war. Do I really need to explain? Well I will anyways. He really, really liked playing both sides. Didn't matter which one paid him more tribute, he would only help whichever one would benefit himself in the long run. Many have tried to have his head for the betrayal, especially other gods, whose favorite cities were decimated by his actions. It's given him many a scar. Roman is the one who gave him the half snake appearance, after a particularly nasty war destroyed the city that revered him the most

Virgil is a god of darkness and nightmares. He thinks humanity never should have discovered fire, because they were better off being fearful of everything. He exists everywhere there is darkness. His proudest creation was the night sky. Nothing but pitch blackness as far as the eye could see-and then Roman created the stars as a gift for Logan and Yes he is still bitter about it.

I'm just saying as immortal beings they've all gotten around. Remus is the worst about it tho, he's like if Zeus and Loki became one being like-Remus is responsible for so many demigods and creatures. Bish literally once turned up with just a mass of tentacles all swaddled up and went "hey Roman come meet your nephew Cthulhu-" "idk what the hell that is but you can take it right tf back to the depths of the ocean" "aw ;n; "

They're gods and they're all gay and they can all shapeshift so having kids is just, p simple. Janus once tricked a king into marrying him by disguising himself as a beautiful woman, and then had a child who would later on betray the kingdom by killing said king. All because the king killed one of his snakes. Throughout the whole marriage and pregnancy Janus wore a veil-because he can't hide the snake part of his face-and warned the king that should he try to peer beneath it, terrible things would happen. Well the king did, and the rest was history

Roman falls in love too easily, especially with mortals. It's a tragedy really. He did once have something with Logan, but Logan didn't feel the same. Roman thinks if he keeps displaying these fantastic feats and giving these amazing gifts he'll get somewhere, but no. With mortals however-they eat that up.

Whenever Roman comes around with "I'm in love!" they're all over it-except Patton. Patton is just happy for him. Virgil however "you know, you throw that word around so much I don't think you understand what it means" and Roman is always so defensive "and what do you know about love?" "I know the difference between actually loving someone, and loving the attention. If you want attention so badly you should seek out your worshippers. A week from now you're going to get bored of them, just like all the others."

They just constantly butt heads. Until one day Patton has enough and puts them together for a task all "I am sick and tired of you two being at each other's throats, so you're going to work together and make something. Using both your abilities." And that's how storm clouds and thunderstorms came to be and Virgil finally saw how light and dark bring out the best in each other. And now he has a crush on Roman, but Roman is dense af and just keeps falling for mortals

Patton lost his cool one time. Once. And that was when his greatest patron turned out to be selling children into slavery. Logan helped plan it, Janus was the one who managed to get all those involved-patron included-all in one place. And then they just turned Patton loose like, yeah. He destroyed an entire villa and leveled it to the ground

Remus loves making oddball creatures and showing Logan because Logan always finds them interesting and he always gives him input

Now imagine all that, now imagine them all trying to fit in with modern society

[emy-loves-you]

Sanders Sides AU-gust Day 3: Soulmates

Your shadow is the current silhouette of your soulmate. Only you and your soulmate can see your shadow. Shadows of animals and objects (non-humans basically) can be seen by everyone. Most people have human soulmates that grow up with a human shadow. Logan is not most people.

Logan POV, Intrulogical, Prinxiety and Moceit

Day 2 | Masterlist | Day 4

Logan was smart.

At just four years old, Logan could count to one thousand, tie his shoes, and knew how to read books meant for kids twice his age. Logan knew other things too. He knew that the earth moved around the sun, not the other way around. He knew that Mrs. Smith didn’t like Mr. Smith and that they were getting a ‘dee-vorce.’ He knew that rainbows were like giant water mirrors. And he knew what soulmates are.

Soulmates mean different things to different people. They appear as shadows, but your shadow is actually your soulmate’s shadow. Logan didn’t really understand how that worked, but he didn’t ask about it. Mama’s shadow disappeared when she was little, and she doesn’t like to talk about it. Logan didn’t understand why Papa married Mama if they weren’t soulmates, but he didn’t ask. Because Logan was smart, and he knew that if he asked about their soulmates, they would ask about his. And while Logan didn’t know a lot about soulmates, he knew that his shadow was different.

Logan’s soulmate was big. Bigger than Mama and Papa. Sometimes Logan would lay in bed and his soulmate’s shadow covered him like a blanket. It made him feel safe and protected. One time Logan was almost hurt by a big doggie, but the dog saw Logan’s shadow and ran away. Logan knew that big shadows weren’t good. He heard about how Susie from down the street had a ‘peddle-file’ for a soulmate. But Logan knew that his soulmate wouldn’t hurt him.

Sometimes the shadow would change into something smaller, closer to Papa’s height. Sometimes the shadow grew so big that Logan couldn’t see the end of it. But most of the time, Logan’s shadow stayed the same size and shape. Logan knew it wasn’t normal to have a soulmate that changed shape. He knew it wasn’t normal for his shadow to have long, spindly arms with pointed fingers. He knew that most shadows didn’t have long devil horns, or give off an aura that scared all animals and most humans away. Logan knew that Mama and Papa wouldn’t understand if he told them.

Because Logan was smart enough to know that his soulmate wasn’t human.

-----------------------------------------------------

Logan was brave.

Most people wouldn’t see that at first glance. Logan was a 17-year-old nerd. He was such an oddball that even bullies steered clear of him (Logan never commented on that. He knew it was his soulmate’s aura scaring them away. Which was interesting since human shadows don’t have detectable auras). Logan always had his nose in a book. Most people expected him to be a teacher’s pet, but Logan never answered questions. He never reached out to others, and he never spoke unless he was spoken to, so most people didn’t know how brave Logan actually was.

Even those who considered themselves close to Logan didn’t see him as brave. In fact, most people saw him as emotionless. He rarely smiled or spoke out of turn. He was the perfect child in terms of behavior and intelligence, but he never showed signs of actually enjoying the world around him.

But there was something that Logan enjoyed: his shadow. While it was disappointing to have no one to talk to about his soulmate, Logan wouldn’t give his soulmate up for anything. It was fascinating to watch, and every time Logan interacted with his shadow he felt safe and loved. Most people would scream if their shadow’s jaw unhinged to impossible lengths, most likely to swallow something whole. Logan watched with rapt attention, itching to write it down. He never recorded anything about his soulmate, paranoid that someone would find it. Instead, he attempted to memorize every new detail on his soulmate. His soulmate was 8 feet tall exactly, with an extra four inches added for the horns. While his largest form was immeasurable, his smallest form stood at 6 ft 6 in with no horns to see. Logan assumed that this form was meant to mimic a human, though he had no other data to support that hypothesis. Logan’s soulmate was also extremely fast, occasionally moving its limbs at a speed that Logan couldn’t track with his eyes.

Logan participated in activities that made sense to him yet baffled others. He spent hours holed up in his room, his shadow comforting him as he read a book. He ran for an hour every afternoon, though he had no interest in joining any races. He also went to the gym every other day. Logan’s logic behind this was that he needed to be quick and strong in case his soulmate meant him harm (this was a lie and Logan knew it. Not only did Logan still believe that his soulmate wouldn’t harm him, he also doubted that he could physically run away from a creature that could potentially travel at inhuman speeds, much less fight one. The truth was that Logan wanted to have something vaguely in common with his soulmate). While Logan liked to read philosophy and chemistry books, he could also be seen reading books on soulmates, fairytales and cryptids. While Logan did not believe that humanity was aware that Logan’s soulmate existed, he hoped he would one day find something that would even slightly match his predicament.

Logan was actually reading another book about soulmates as he sat under the apple tree outside of the library. The tree’s shadow loomed over him, but Logan could still easily see his soulmate’s silhouette. He wasn’t sure if that was a soulmate-thing or a my-soulmate-isn’t-human-thing. That’s actually why he was reading this book: Everyday Occurrences for Soulmates. It was mainly a description of how soulmate customs were treated around the world, but Logan hoped that it would give him more insight into how human shadows should look and behave.

“Get back here, freak!” Logan’s head snapped up to see another teen run past him. Logan vaguely recognized the patchwork hoodie from his biology class. Virgil Storm, Logan’s memory supplied. Emo and social outcast. Logan watched as another group of teens chased after him. Virgil continued to run until he tripped and fell. Logan stood up as the gaggle of teenagers approached Virgil. This won’t do at all.

“What do you think you’re doing?” The teens looked afraid for a moment before they turned and saw Logan approaching.

The one in the middle laughed. “Run along, nerd, before you end up like this freak!” Micheal Scott, if Logan’s memory was correct (it always was). Senior, quarterback, was held back three times. 

Logan continued to step forward, ignoring the way his shadow lashed around his ankles. “Virgil has done nothing to warrant your ire, Micheal.” This was true; Virgil talked less than even Logan did. Other than being exceptionally talented in art, Virgil was essentially a nobody (and while Logan knew that looks could be deceiving, he- like everyone else- saw reason to interact with Virgil).

Micheal scoffed. “Of course he does! He’s a freak and he deserves to be put in his place-”

Now, Logan was very smart. He knew that acting violently would most likely result in negative consequences. But Logan also knew that Virgil didn’t deserve Micheal’s… anything, Micheal’s an asshole. But either way, Logan knew what it was like to be the odd-one-out. And while Logan was nervous of the consequences, when he heard Micheal call Virgila freak, Logan’s bravery shined through.

Logan was satisfied to feel Micheal’s nose break from under his fist. Those visits to the gym were actually useful. Huh. Logan watched impassively as Micheal fell down to his knees. Logan kneeled so that his face loomed just above Micheal’s. Micheal started shivering, and Logan couldn’t tell if it was him or his shadow that was causing him distress. He also didn’t care. “If you even look at me or Virgil the wrong way I will not hesitate to make your life a living hell. Understood?” Logan’s voice remained cold and emotionless. While his surge in confidence was making him slightly uncomfortable, it produced the intended outcome. Micheal blanched before scurrying away. It took only a look to get the other teens to do the same.

Logan knelt down next to the now safe teen. “Are you alright?” He held out his hand for Virgil to grab.

Virgil stared at the hand in shock, seemingly surprised that someone had stood up for him. “Yeah, thanks.” He took the offered hand, pulling himself up onto his feet. His sketchbook fell out of his hand, which Logan didn’t realize was even there. Logan bent down to grab the sketchbook for Virgil when he froze.

The sketch was of some kind of fae/eldritch horror combination. The creature’s face was youthful, appearing to be a man in his early twenties. Its arms were long and spindly, and his nails were sharpened to a point. It wore a white prince suit with a red sash. But what really grabbed Logan’s attention was the pair of devil horns that sat on top of its head.

Logan looked up at Virgil, who was suddenly pale and shaking. “Virgil, what was your inspiration behind this piece?”

Virgil grabbed the notebook and shook his head. “It’s nothing, just a nightmare I had. Nothing more.” He went to walk away.

Logan grabbed Virgil by the hoodie sleeve. “Please do not lie to me.” Virgil stared at Logan in horror. Logan stood there, feeling his desperation claw at him. “Please,” He whispered. “Please tell me I’m not alone.”

Because Logan was brave, and he didn’t want to be alone anymore.

--------------------------------------------------

Logan was observant.

While his observations didn’t help him in finding his soulmate, it did help him take care of his two new (and only) friends.

Virgil Storm apparently had a soulmate similar to Logan’s, as did Virgil’s best friend Patton Heart. Virgil also had a nightbond, a rare form of soulbond that allowed soulmates to visit each other in their dreams. Apparently, the creatures did not have a name for their species. Roman, Virgil’s soulmate, appeared to have very little knowledge on his species. While this did disappoint Logan, he was still grateful to have someone to share his findings with. After knowing each other for over a year, the trio were never seen apart, finally having friends who weren’t scared away by their shadow’s dark auras.

Virgil and Patton both had similar opinions to Logan on their inhuman soulmates, mainly that it was more fascinating than terrifying. Virgil was interested in the darker aspects of their soulmates, while Patton was just happy that he had a soulmate. Logan grew to care for the two teens. While Virgil was quiet and awkward around others, Logan learned that he was actually very snarky and cynical. Patton pretended that life was perfect, but Logan had seen enough to know that Patton only genuinely smiled when thinking about his soulmate. Logan had become quite protective of the two, as his shadow tended to scare off more potential threats than Virgil’s or Patton’s did.

Logan was currently running around the perimeter of the highschool as he waited for his friends to finish their activities. He had asked if they would like to join him, but Patton was asthematic and Virgil detested running. So, it had become a common occurrence for Logan to do his running while Patton and Virgil participated in their after school clubs.

Logan allowed his mind to wander as he completed another lap. He was disappointed that he’s so far unsuccessful in terms of meeting his soulmate. None of them had met their soulmates in person, even Virgil. According to Roman, the creatures had a much deeper connection to their souls compared to humans. He had also said that the creatures wouldn’t be found by their soulmates until “our loves are ready.” Ready for what, Logan didn’t know. But that didn’t stop him from exhausting every possible way to find his soulmate.

Logan saw a flash of yellow and almost tripped over his feet. Not stopping as to draw suspicion, he glanced towards the forest behind the school and saw something… odd.

Standing at the edge of the treeline was a man. He was tall and young, probably in his mid 20s. He wore an impeccable black suit with yellow accessories, which was odd since he appeared to have came from the forest. Logan followed his gaze and just as the gym doors opened. Patton sprinted out of the school, most likely grabbing something from his car. Logan watched as the man’s gaze followed Patton as he walked towards his car. Logan tsked as he darted into the treeline, attempting to not be spotted. The man was stalking Patton, and that was not acceptable. But Logan was observant, so he’d learn more about the man before making his move.

Logan had just reached where he’d last seen the man when he noticed something important: his shadow wasn’t moving. Any time Logan was heading towards potential danger, his shadow would move erratically around his feet, as if it was trying to stop him. Any time potential danger was heading towards him, Logan’s shadow would lash towards the danger, it’s natural aura deterring most creatures. But his shadow wasn’t moving. It was calm. Complacent.

Logan was so busy analyzing his shadow that he almost hadn’t realized that the man wasn’t there. Logan felt a chill go down his neck and he spun around, to find himself less than a foot away from the man. Logan stifled the urge to scream. His shadow wasn’t acting up, and Logan trusted his soulmate to protect him. But now that he was almost touching the man, Logan quickly realized something. How his smile was a hair too wide. How just standing close to him made Logan’s fight-or-flight reflexes go haywire.

Logan was observant, but it didn’t take much to realize that this man isn’t human.

Logan cleared his throat as he forced himself to articulate a response. “Hello. Might I ask why you’re trespassing into a high school to observe minors?”

The man looked guilty (bullshit) as he spoke. “I’m sorry, I don’t believe we’ve met before.” He held out his hand, presumably for Logan to shake. “My name is Declan Brown. I was sent by the school board to observe the school’s management of extracurricular activities-”

“Stop.” Logan suddenly said, resisting the urge to physically shake his head. A part of him was already nodding along to what he said. It’s a perfectly reasonable assumption- Logan did his best to shove the thought away. The creature obviously had a talent in mental manipulation.

The (not)man gaped for a second. “Excuse me?” He seemed shocked. The thoughts became more intense and repetitive.

Logan started rambling, less focused on his words and more focused on getting Declan’s (that’s probably not his name) manipulations out of his head. “Stop lying to me. No member of the student board would support stalking a minor from the school’s perimeter. Check up on your human facts before stating such a bold lie. And will you shut up with the thoughts!” Before Logan could acknowledge what he had said, the thoughts ceased completely.

The creature looked at Logan with unguarded curiosity. “Who are you?”

Logan crossed his arms as he ignored how terrified he felt. “My name is unimportant for this conversation. Now I’ll ask again: Why are you stalking my friend?”

Logan’s shadow chose that moment to respond, shifting forward so it brushed against the creature’s ankles. Logan then realized that not only did he seem to acknowledge Logan’s shadow, he also didn’t have a shadow. Which means that he has a soulmate. The creature stared at the shadow before laughing. “Ah. That makes much more sense.”

Logan frowned. “Please answer my question.”

The creature’s smile seemed more genuine as he held out his hand again. “Call me Janus. I was sent by Roman to check on his soulmate. And I wanted to check on my soulmate at the same time.”

Logan blinked as he processed the information. The creature knew Roman, so it was most likely the same (or similar) species. And since it was staring at Patton…

Logan grabbed Janus’ hand, giving it his firmest shake. Logan was not submitting to this creature. “My name is Logan. I assume you are Patton’s soulmate, correct?” At Janus’ smirk, Logan tightened his grip. “If you harm him in any way- physically, emotionally, you name it- I will find a way to make the rest of your existence a living hell.”

Janus laughed as he also tightened his grip. “He’s gonna LOVE meeting you.” Logan remained impassive, knowing that a single sign of weakness could cause his end.

Because Logan was observant, and no way in hell was he letting his friend get hurt.

-----------------------------------------------------

Logan was loved.

Logan never really realized that. Sure, his parents said that they loved him, but Logan never really depended on his parents the way most children did. When Logan had a question, he read a book. When Logan was scared, his shadow protected him. When Logan was hurt or lonely, his shadow would comfort him. Most people depended on their parents to raise them. Logan raised himself. Most people saw shadows as a way to find their soulmate. Logan saw his shadow as a friend.

Maybe that’s why at 21 years old Logan confidently (and drunkenly) states that he’s never felt true love. Sure, he’s felt kindness and support (Patton and Virgil) but he’s never felt love. Sure, some nights he has long conversations with his shadow and lets himself believe that the way it twists and turns means that his soulmate can hear him. Sure, he sees Janus a few times every year (Logan knows by this point that Janus is letting himself be seen. Logan never told Patton about meeting Janus and they have yet to officially meet. If Janus wanted to be seen by Patton or not seen by Logan he could) and every time he begs to learn more about his soulmate. But that’s not love (he never says that around Janus. The creature can smell lies like Logan smells Patton’s perfume).

Maybe that’s why he drunkenly kisses a stranger at his 21st birthday party, ignoring the fact that he’s too short and his hold doesn’t feel safe.

Maybe that’s why when he goes to visit Patton weeks later and sees only a note that says His name’s Janus he crumples it up and throws it away. Maybe that’s why when Virgil texts him the same day simply saying Found my soulmate TTYL, Logan lets hope claw its way through his chest. Maybe that’s why when the sun sets and Logan gets no sign from his soulmate he curls up in a ball and sobs. Maybe that’s why he decides that he can’t wait any longer and he leaves his shitty apartment in the middle of his shitty town and heads towards the shitty forest that he knows is empty but he has to try.

Maybe that’s why when Logan’s so deep in the forest that he can’t find his way out and the moon hangs high over his head and he hears wolves in the distance he doesn’t get scared or sad. No, Logan gets angry. Angry at the world for rejecting him because of his menacing shadow. Angry at Patton and Virgil for leaving him for their own soulmates. Angry at his soulmate for making him believe for 21 fucking years that he had a chance at being truly happy.

A wolf broke through the tree line, lowly growling as he approached Logan. Logan growled right back, his irritation and heartbreak and anger clouding his judgment. The wolf howled, and Logan screamed. It was an odd feeling. Logan hadn’t screamed in a long time. He trusted his shadow to protect him, so he never screamed in fear.  But the way his throat burned from his anger was exhilarating.

The wolf lunged, and it took Logan a few moments to realize that it never reached him. Logan heard a satisfying crunch as the wolf head landed inches from his feet. Logan looked up and saw a monster of nightmares.

It was at least 8 ft tall, with long, spindly limbs sharpened to a point. Green horns protruded form his head, and his eyes glowed acid green. His bloody teeth stretched into a too-wide grin, and Logan did not smile back.

Instead Logan screamed again. But it wasn’t out of fear (never out of fear). It was out of anger, and exhaustion, and relief, and something else that Logan couldn’t name. He lunged at the creature, wrapping his arms around the black and green tunic as he continued to scream. The creature continued to smile, using his too-sharp claws to hold onto Logan’s back. And Logan broke. He started to sob, losing the ability to stand as he leaned further into the creature’s chest.

They stayed there for almost an hour, Logan sobs being the only sound in the vicinity. Eventually, the creature spoke up. “It’s nice to finally hold you, Logan.” Logan continued to stay silent, burrowing his face into the creature’s chest. “My name is Remus. I know that it hurts, but you weren’t ready until now. I wanted to come get you the moment I saw your shadow, I swear. But I’ve always been there, even though ya couldn’t hear me. And I promise I won’t leave ya ever.”

Logan felt himself smile as he relaxed further into the creature’s his soulmate’s hold, listening to Remus babble out apologies and promises. Logan allowed himself to finally feel. 

Because even though this was the first time they touched, Logan knew this wasn’t the first time they’d met. Remus had always been there to support Logan, even if he was hiding in Logan’s shadow. He was always there, and even though Logan was hearing him for the first time, Logan knew that he was in love with Remus.

And as they separated and Remus asked if Logan was okay, Logan let himself admit it. “I love you.”

And Remus repeated him, with no doubts or uncertainty. Because even though Logan refused to believe it before now…

Logan was loved.

[chemicallady]

Science and Vision

Part I

A/N: let's start something completely new! Hope you'll like the idea. I dont know how many parts I'll write. Let's see what happens togheter.

Once, Greg said that he has to choice between science or 'something else'. And he chose science. What it someone we is going to bump into is thinking otherwise.

I'm also using the characters of Frank Diners, introduced in episode 13x02! A couple of years before those (terrible) event.

Important: this parts are dreams

Couple: Greg Sanders/Female!Reader

Category: Romantic, Supernatural, Phychic, a little of angst of course.

Content Warning: mention to cases in which is involved a kidnap and a murder. Csi classical stuff.

Summary:  Reader is a powerful psychic, as her grandmother. Unfortunately, this gift doesn't help her in paying the rent, but as his mom always says 'anything happen without a reason'.

Reader starts to believe that when a series of drammatic nightmares start to keep you company during the night. And the subject is always the same, like a video, replied over and over again....

*****

Las Vegas, December 5th 2010

《Sorry Vincent! I'm late!》

You make your entrance at your work place - Frank's Diner- and you notice both officers Akers and Mitchell laught softly at you from their position at the bench.

《Traffic is tremendous tonight》, you try to explain yourself, keeping your apron and put it on. Your boss is in the kitchen, so he doesn't notice your delay. Owen, his brother, grinns from the front desk, like he doesn't mind at all. Picking a pen and your notebook, you look at the two officers with a charming smile. 《What can I serve to you, gentlemen?》

Andy orders the usual coffee with bacon and eggs, even if is like three in the morning. The bell on the door rings again and four people are now coming into. The last one, the guy who is talking with Owen, is the one who always caught your attention. Greg Sanders, CSI, hot material. He is also funny and interesting.

A total match.

But probably too smart to notice a waitress. Little does he know that you have a master degree. You are the new one in here and most of the clients are cops. Cops never ask too much and if the do, well.... it's an interview.

《Ei (y/n)》 , sayis a man, smiling at you with his usual kindness. 《Are you on shift tonight? Isn't this your day off?》

《What can I say, Nicky?》, is your answer, keeping a pitcher full of hot coffee. You fill a cup for him while you are still speaking. 《I need some extra money. I have some problems with my car, actually...》

《Again?》 Sara asks you, keeping the mug you're offering to her. 《Maybe is time to change that tin can.》

Akers captures your attentions with a joke. 《Maybe that's why you're always late!》

You start to pretend to be offended, putting and hand on your chest. Greg laughs and answers for you. 《It's a '69 Chevy Chevelle, Sara. (Y/n) cant just throw that piece of history away.》

《Thanks Sanders, you truly are a man of culture》 , you says, bright smile and a little wink, while Edie grinns next to you. 《That car is a part of me》

《The oldest one, I presume》 , Catherine tosses at you, 《Sorry to bother your discussion about ancient veichles but we are on a case and we need some fuel to work. Can we order now, (y/n)? You are in front 9f a group of hungry forensics. 》

《Of couse you can!》 Vincent appears somewhere next to you. 《Edie will keep your orders guys! (Y/n) has a big mouth ... hasn't she?》

Everyone laugh while you blush a little, biting your tongue to avoid a rude tense. Dahlia comes to the bench, asking for her usual milkshake that you are more than happy to prepare for her. Just to hide how much you are embarrassed. The CSI stay for almost 30 minutes and you cant help yourself but searching for Greg's gaze. He gives you some in return, but the two of you don't speak till it's time to say goodnight.

《Which one?》, Dahlia asks you, while you are still pointing the door with both your eyes, as you are waiting him to come back and ask you out one of those days.

《Don't know what are you talking about》, is you flat answer while the realisation that he is gone again without your number arrives.

《Stokes or Sanders?》, the blonde ask again. Edie smiles, clearly enjoyed by the situation. You know that she is only happy to have a co worker but also too shy to ask first. There is Dahlia for this.

You sigh, 《Am I so obvious?》

《You look so helpless, baby girl》, Dahlia continues, playing with her long amazing hair. 《You didn't answer sweety.》

You have your back on a corner. Once a Marines, always a Marine and Dahlia is proving this theory to you right now. So you decide to let it go. 《The cutest...》

Edie keeps the dirty mugs, smiling even brighter. 《So Sanders》

《We need to arrange a date》, is the last statement from Dahlia, before she goes on Owen to pay. She lefts 5 bucks as a tip, and a malicious smile. 《Because if we have to wait the both of you, guys.... nights in Vegas are long, but not that much!》

◇◇◇◇◇◇

The crowd is melting in front of your eyes. All that is matter right now is him.

His eyes on the road, is smile....

The sound of the music is far away from you and you can enjoy the sweet sound of his voice.

The place is dark and quiet and you feel safe with him.

He is your only hope.

Your courage....

No one have never understood you like he can. You two meant to each other.

So why is he so mad at you?

And then the pain arrives.

Is impossible to handle it.

Your hands are painted in crimson and you are loosing your balance...

....The room is so cold.

The silence is heavier than you think.

And the Emptiness is swallowing you all, piece to piece, slowly....

◇◇◇◇◇

Here we go again. Another shift, beyond the bench with an headache caused by lack of sleep. It's the same old story since.... you can recall.

You've started to have this nightmare almost two weeks ago, when you moved to Vegas. It's funny, you run away from ghosts just to bump into new ones.

But this time is different. Is more...

Powerful and you are helpless because you can't just go to the doctor and tell him 'hi, I'm a psychic and my visions are too strong while I try to sleep. Can you prescribe me Valium? A family storage please.'

Everyone will change their behavior towards you if they only know...

Same old story, again.

And you are so tired to move away every time you feel uncomfortable.

Is a lonely condition because you have to keep this secret for yourself.

You are the mad one, in the end. The crazy girl who can see the 'emotions' of dead people. Their last moments. And you grow tired of being the freak.

You want to be normal.

You want to be less lonely.

《Ei (y/n). You look so pale, what's going on?》

Your eyes meet Greg's ones when you hear him speak. A tiny smile appears on your lips, while you rise your hand to keep a mug full of coffee for the agent. 《 Have you ever sperimented how awful is being tired but incapable of fell asleep?》

《Please don't tell me》, is his answer, while he is smiling at you. You can't help yourself but think that is so cute. 《Thank you for the coffee.》

《Do you want to eat something?》

《No, I'm fine (y/n). I just want to review this case. I hope I won't bother you if I stay here at the bench for a bit.》

So charming.

He would never bother you.

Another smile and then you come back to work, serving coffee and keeping orders to the abitudinary clients. Greg stays much longer than 'a bit', by the way. An hour passed and he is still there. Is almost the dawn and you are going to end your shift. You are so tired...

You will probably walk home; you are too messy to drive.

You come back to Greg and you lean against the bar, yawning in your fist. 《May I ask you about this case?》

He sighs. 《An answer for and answer.》

《Then ask, Sanders.》

He looks at you with a small grinn. 《Why you can't sleep? Did you partied all night at the Mediterranean?》

A small laught abandon you month. 《 I wish. I just had a nightmare....》 He looks sorry for you, but it's fine. 《So? The case?》

He goes through his file before he shows you a picture. You barely hear what he says next. 《A girl disappeared a couple of weeks ago. Her name is Nina Foster, a university student. She was the head cheerleader of the college's football team and she went missed since the last.... (y/n), are you ok?》

You are barely breathing now. 《Oh my God.》

《What?》 , he asks without understand what's wrong. 《Do you know her?》

《I didn't. 》 you reply. 《.... I have dreamt about her. My nightmares....》 your hand traces slowly the line of the jaw in the pic, before speak again. 《I saw her being stabbed in the belly..... I think she is dead.》

....That probably wasn't a good idea.

~ continue ~

[darkmagic-sweetheart]

Sanders Sides Secret Santa Gift

Surprise @canadiantardis​!!! I’m you’re secret Santa for @sanderssides-secretsanta​ event! I’m very happy I was able to complete this gift for you as it was a very fun time. I will say it was a bit rushed, hehehe, but I still hope you like them. :3 First is the Soulmate AU you wished for. Ship is Moxiety since I also like that one as well. I’ve never written a fanfic on this kind of topic, but I had a few friends help me brainstorm. 

A Promise to Love You In this world you can always tell when someone has found their soulmate because their hair has changed to the color of an anime protagonist. Like straight up neon green for some people. Virgil just shivered at the thought of being stuck with such a bright color for the rest of his life. No thanks!

He was chilling on the sofa as he scrolled through his social medias’ waiting still on his new roommate to show up. The other guy had finally graduated from university and was moving back home to be with family. So now Virgil had a spare room to rent out to hopefully someone that could remember to clean the dishes at least three times a week. Virgil gave a huff leaning backwards over the sofa arm to check out the clock in the kitchen behind him. 1:34 PM...whoever this new guy was he was not the punctual type. Which wasn't the worst thing since sometimes this Stormcloud needed a big gust of wind to even get himself out of bed.

Usually, in the form of one of his peppier friends not knowing how to knock or his Nightmare Before Christmas alarm clock blaring at him. Whatever, he thought as he continued scrolling. There were a few articles trending about how soulmate encounters were increasing this holiday season. People finding that special someone and pressing their pinkies together to form their symbol. He looked at his and frowned. “Cute...yeah right. Not like I’m ever going to find my soulmate.”

For as long as Virgil could remember strangers would gush over his symbol. It was half of a purple colored heart. They’d say things like, “Wow, I wish I had a heart as my symbol” or “You’re so lucky! I heard a heart means your love will be really special.” Crap like that really made Virgil uncomfortable. He barely went outside as it is, how in the world was he supposed to find someone who’d like a recluse like him? For the time being he avoided those tags related to soulmates and went to listening to music as he waited.

--------- Patton, poor, poor Patton had been stuck in a taxi for the past hour and a half; squeezing the life out of his small bag of essentials, while the rest of his items shuffled in the back trunk. Now he never considered himself an impatient person, but the trip here had been riddled with flight delays, lost luggage, and helping a little girl with her cat being stuck in a tree. So this situation was just the tip of the iceberg. If anything he was probably one of the most considerate people on the planet as he got ready to jump ship. “Here, please take what I owe you. I’m already running late and I don’t have time to wait anymore. Sorry.”

The taxi driver, luckily, understood as he took his payment and let Patton out. Now he was a lone man with a bag strapped over his shoulder and an additional three to each side of him. All those days he skipped exercising came flooding in from his memories and regret was setting in as he trudged his way to his newly rented room a couple blocks away.

--------- Now staring at a clock resting at 2:15 PM, Virgil finally heard a knock at the door. “Finally!” He huffed exasperated. A million thoughts about chewing this guy out or acting cocky with him swirled in his mind, only to instantly vanish as he opened the door to an exhausted man gasping for breath on his front porch. First thought was, what? Second thought was, is he okay? Third thought, oh he’s pretty cute!

Patton was a little shorter than Virgil. His hair had curled ends and looked soft to the touch. Freckles painted his reddened face from the hiking trip he just took to get here as he worked on putting a smile on his face. “H-hi there. If y-you give me a minute I can...introduce myself.”

Virgil froze, his social anxiety crawling up his back as he debated with himself whether to let Patton in first, just grab his things, say hi back, get him some water, ask him out, etc. He was staring at the ground feeling anxious when suddenly a hand appeared right before his eyes. A hand? Oh shoot this was the guys hand right?

Patton was now smiling softly at Virgil with his hand extended out towards him in a friendly gesture. He had picked up on Virgil’s indecisiveness and decided for himself to initiate the greeting to keep things simple. Also so neither of them were awkwardly stuck on the porch all day. Now all Virgil needed to do was shake Patton’s hand like regular people do when meeting others face-to-face. Gingerly, he raised and took the hand in front of him to shake when a spark made him retract instantly. “W-what was that?!”

Both of their eyes were wide as they examined their hands. Nothing seemed weird, just static electricity? That’s when Virgil could hear a tiny gasp escape the other man’s mouth. “What? What is it?” “Y-your hair! It’s turned kind of purple at the tips.” “It’s done what now?!”

Virgil quickly pulled out the pocket mirror he always had on him in case his eyeliner messed up as he tilted it upwards to the tip of his bangs. The strands really had turned purple, a really nice deep purple too. He was kind of mesmerized by it until the reality of the situation set in. His hair had just changed colors...did that mean that him and this guy?

Immediately, Virgil glanced at the strangers hair and there it was; Pink! Pink strands of slightly curled hair bouncing along with the slight breeze outside. “No way.” He whispered as he took his new roommate's hand and examined it. Patton didn’t move a muscle. He knew what was going on after seeing the color appear in Virgil’s hair. Although, it was all still sinking in for him as well. Was this cutie really his soulmate, was this really happening now when he’s covered in sweat and looking disheveled? Patton blushed feeling embarrassed as his new roommate kept touching his hand. Finally the silence was cut between them as Virgil found what he was looking for.

“You...you’re my...wow...um, sorry...I.” This was so unreal, like a freaking movie or something! Virgil was lost for words as he blushed. “I-It’s okay...I’m also really surprised. My name’s Patton by the way. I’m so sorry for being late to move in today. It’s been...crazy.” Patton gave a chuckle at his choice of words. This was indeed crazy.

Virgil laughed along, feeling more at ease as he finally let go of Patton’s hand and started carrying in his things. “Understatement of the year.” He teased carrying them up into the vacant room. Though, quickly coming back down to sit with Patton on the sofa.

“I’m Virgil and I guess...your soulmate too? Damn, sorry this is really new and strange to me. It doesn’t even feel real honestly.” He was mumbling to himself until he felt that familiar soft hand touch his. “Like you see in the movies right?” “Right.” “Then, like in the movies, we should finish the connection between us.” Patton then held up his pinkie, in the same manner one does a pinkie promise. But, Virgil was hesitant. “A-are you sure you want someone like me? I mean we’ve just met and…” “And?” “It’s just really fast is all. I’m not the most confident guy.” He curled up into his hoodie trying to hide his expression. Patton found this cute though. In his eyes Virgil was like a big cat that hadn’t gotten enough love in its life. “I’m not going to force you Virgil, but that first moment we shared at the door. That feeling when our hands touched for the first time. It was special. You’re special, I could tell that in an instant.” “I’m special? You really think that?” “I do. I also felt like I may never find my soulmate because I’ve always given a lot of my own love away to others who needed it, but never really had any luck in finding someone who could return what I gave. With you Virgil, I feel like you have a lot of love to give and receive.” “T-then are you saying you like me?” Patton smiled and gave Virgil a slight peck on the cheek and giggled. “Yeah I do. I like you Virgil. I’m your soulmate after-all.”

Virgil blushed bright red, but relief swept over him as he got his pinkie out and smiled. “Okay then.” Feeling more secure from Patton’s words, Virgil pressed the side of his pinkie into Patton’s to form a heart shaped symbol that turned the rest of Virgil’s hair purple and Patton’s pink. Both now had a full heart, matching their colors on their pinkies. “Guess I’ve upgraded from roommate to boyfriend huh?” Patton smirked, hugging into Virgil’s chest. He nodded feeling shy; this was going to take some getting used to.

The End

Second, please also enjoy some art I did for the ending scene: 

Happy Holidays! 

[mycatshuman]

Fright Night But Make It Gay

Chapter 4 : "Kidnapped"

First | Last | Next | More

Pairings: prinxiety, Intrological, Moceit

Warnings: please let me know if I missed any cause I don't know

Posting this early to celebrate The Sanders Sides Anniversary! Happy 4 years of Sanders Sides!!

🎃🕸👻💀🕷🎃🕸👻💀🕷🎃🕸👻💀🕷🎃🕸👻

"Why are we stopped?" Roman looked at his friends as they began to pile out of the van. Remus held a hand out to him to help him out. Roman took it and was pulled out to find they were in front of a roadside dinner.

"We're stopping to eat. None of us have eaten since yesterday," Remus answered as he made sure to keep an eye on his brother.

"Oh." Roman soon became aware of the others also keeping an eye on him and he shivered. I see they won't be letting me out of their sight then. They went in and sat down in a corner both. Patton and Janus on one side while Roman was put across from them with Remus and Logan sitting next to him and blocking any chance he might have had to escape. 

Roman was feeling the most uncomfortable he had ever had in his whole life. Of that he was sure. He just didn't understand, why couldn't they accept that his boyfriend was a vampire and go about their business like usual. They were college kids, didn't these random things happen regularly when one was in college? Roman looked down at his hands and fiddled with them. I miss Virgil. He would know what to do. Roman let out a silent sigh and looked out the window as the others browsed the menu. He wasn't very hungry. 

"Roman, what would you like to eat?" Logan asked as he finished deciding on his own meal. 

"Not hungry." Roman replied. 

Remus slowly turned his head to look at Roman. "Why not? Is it because you're already a vampire?!" 

Roman whipped his head around to face his brother. "Would you give it a rest, Remus! He is not the monster you are making him out to be! But no, you would rather listen to movies and books than your own brother!" Roman groaned as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Listen, I'm not trying to run away, so stop hating on my boyfriend in front of me." Remus glared at his brother. 

Janus rolled his eyes so hard they almost fell out of his head. "Guys, stop it. You're making a scene and you're upsetting Patton. Just order something and eat so we can leave." 

Roman stayed quiet while the others ordered. Once the waitress left, he hummed loud enough for his tablemates to hear him. "Why did all of you have to come to go see this Vincent guy? Like couldn't some of you have stayed back?" He watched as the others shared a glance. He scoffed. "Oh, let me guess, you're scared he'll kidnap you and force you to tell him where the others are taking me?" 

"We just want to make sure you're okay, kiddo," Patton responded carefully.

Roman bit his lip. "You didn't even give him a chance," he muttered bitterly. He went quiet again. 

When the food came, the waitress placed some eggs and bacon in front of him along with a mug of hot chocolate. Roman frowned. "I didn't ask for this," he said once she left. 

Logan nodded. "I know that, but we're not barbaric-" 

"Ahem."

"Right, we, your brother aside, are not barbaric. We won't eat in front of you like that. Plus, you need to eat. I understand you're not hungry right now so if you can't finish it then we will pack it up and you can eat it in the van once you're hungry." Logan paused as he took a bite of his food. "That being said," he dabbed at his mouth. "You need to eat." 

Roman huffed. He poked at the food on his plate with a frown. He wasn't going to eat. It was ridiculous, but he didn't want to give them the satisfaction that they had made him give up so easily. He paused as a thought popped into his head. If I eat very slowly, Virgil could catch up and then we can prove that he's not a monster. Roman picked up a small bite of food and began chewing lazily. He couldn't be too deliberate. He had to be nonchalant about this, if they knew what he was trying to do, they surely would pack up and leave immediately. If he played his cards right, he would be able to stall them long enough for Virgil to show up. Of course, there was the possibility that his boyfriend wasn't actually coming. 

The thought made him pause. What if he isn't coming? Roman shook the thought out of his head. No, I can't think like that. He's coming. I know him. They don't. They don't know him at all. So Roman ate as lazily as he could until there was nothing left and they were leaving without even a hint of Virgil. Did he not leave yet? The insecurities beat on Roman until he heard a familiar shout of his name. 

"Roman!"  

His eyes lit up and he whipped around to find his handsome boyfriend behind him. "Virgil!" He exclaimed happily and went to run to him only to be yanked back by Remus. 

"Hurry up, Logan! Start the car and drive!" Janus yelled as Remus dragged Roman into the van with Patton hoping in behind them and closing the door. 

"Hey, wait!" Virgil yelled only to stop and race back to his car. If they were going to drive off, he wasn't going to be far behind. 

Roman sank down to the floor of the van dreamily. "He came for me," he sighed. Patton snorted while Remus scoffed. 

"Yeah, he probably wants his blood bag back." 

Patton frowned and smacked Remus on the arm as they pulled out of the parking lot. "That wasn't very nice. Take it back." 

"No."

"Remus, apologize to your brother," Logan called out from the front seat where he was driving as he and Janus tried to lose Virgil.

Remus groaned. "Sorry, Roman." 

Roman hardly noticed. All he could think about was how his nightmare in softest hoodie had come to rescue him. 

------------

Virgil groaned as he pulled into a gas station. How the hell did I lose those idiots? Of course, he was sure they weren't actual idiots. He was just frustrated about the situation. Scratch that, they were idiots if they couldn't even give him a chance. Come to think of it, what exactly made them think he was a vampire? They didn't believe Roman when he told them the first time, so why now. What had happened that made them believe now?

Virgil ran a hand through his hair as he finished pumping the gas. He walked into the gas station building to grab a few snacks and pay. As he stepped out he smelled a familiar scent. "Roman?" Virgil looked up to find that they had just pulled in. 

"Shit!" Remus exclaimed as he caught sight of Virgil. "Drive! Drive!"

Virgil snorted as he remembered that he still had access to Roman's location and quickly hopped into his car and followed after them. 

---------------------

Roman sat on the floor of the van, his head rested on the palm of his hand as he stared off dreamily into space. Patton smiled softly as he watched the other hum "Once Upon A Dream". He felt hands wrap around him and he grinned as Janus placed a kiss to his head.

"Hello, Darling," Janus said smoothly. 

"Hi Hun." Patton turned his head to face his boyfriends' and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. He snuggled deeper into Janus's hold. "So how are things going up there?" He asked with a nod of his head to the two in the front seat. 

Janus sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Oh you know, they're trying to find Vincent's place while keeping an eye out for the vampire. Remus is probably making some dirty jokes too." 

Patton bit his lip as he cast a glance to Roman. "Do you think…" he sighed. "Do you think that maybe we're making the wrong decision?" 

Janus frowned. "What do you mean?"

Patton shrugged. "I mean, maybe we should have given them a chance. We don't know for sure that he's a bad vampire."

Janus nodded. "Well, we did see those bite marks on Roman." 

"Doesn't mean that he's a monster." 

Janus slowly twirled his hands through Patton's hair in thought. "True, " he said carefully. "But I think this would make Remus feel better. Think about it, he finds out his brother is dating a vampire." Janus rested his chin on Patton's head. "He found out this thing he viewed as a monster from childhood is real and dating his brother. He's scared that something bad is going to happen to Roman. I think you would react the same way with your brother." 

Patton sighed. "I know, but I just feel bad for Roman. Look at him." 

The couple turned to face Roman who was leaning back against the wall looking up with a love sick smile in his face. Janus snorted. "Yes, he looks like a love sick fool."

"Oh!" Patton lightly smacked Janus' arm. "Stop teasing him." 

"He reminds me of how I am with you."

Patton flushed lightly. "Oh, you sap." 

Janus smiled and pressed a kiss to his boyfriends' temple. "Only for you dear. Only for you." 

------------

Finally, finally they had arrived at the mansion of Peter Vincent. Remus dragged his useless gay brother out of the van as they all stood up and walked up to the front door. "It's quite an impressive place," Patton commented. 

"Yeah, yeah. Let's just get this done so we can get rid of this blood-sucking monster," Remus growled and reached forward to press the doorbell. A loud bell rang out and Logan wrinkled his nose. 

"He certainly has a flair for the dramatic, it seems." 

The door creaked open and a young disheveled man stared out at them. "Can I help you?" He asked with a disgusted look.

Janus frowned. "Uh, yes. We're looking for Peter Vincent, is he here?" 

The man rolled his eyes. "Dads' on a vacation. I'm his son." 

"When will he be back?" Logan asked.

"I don't know. Why does it matter anyway?" Vincent's son regarded them with annoyance. 

"I want to speak to him that's why. Now give me his contact information so I can get ahold of him." Remus growled. He was losing his patience.  

--------

Roman jumped slightly as he felt something cold touch his shoulder. He turned and then a bright grin spread across his face. "Hey, darling." Virgil wrapped his arms around Roman's waist and watched his boyfriend's roommates as they tried to hold Remus back from ripping the guys head off. 

Roman snuggled deeper into Virgil's embrace as Virgil pressed a kiss to his check. "I knew you'd come for me." 

Virgil smiled and leaned close to Roman's ear. "Hey, how 'bout I 'kidnapp' you? They'll have to come and then we can prove that I'm not going to kill you." 

Roman shrugged. "I don't know, Virgil. I think if you continue looking that hot I might die." 

Virgil rolled his eyes. "Oh shush, you!" 

Roman pulled himself out of Virgil's embrace and gently took hold of his hand. He smiled at him and dragged him back to Virgils' car. "Come on, handsome. We can play some games while we wait." 

Virgil flushed. "Roman you have got to stop doing that!" 

Roman blinked innocently. "Whatever do you mean? I'm just talking about Twister.";

"Hey! Wait!" Virgil and Roman turned to find Remus and the others had finally noticed them. 

Virgil smirked. "Get in the car, pretty boy." Virgil hopped into his car as Roman slide in next to him. 

"I just need to tell you how absolutely sexy you look right now," Roman said as he watched his boyfriend drive with a mischievous grin. Virgil flushed and shook his head as the van with Roman's family pulled out onto the road behind him. "No, I don't."

Roman growled. "Seriously Virgil. If you're not careful I might have to yank you into a kiss. Like who gave you the right?" 

Virgil shook his head. "You are a gay disaster."

"I'm your gay disaster."

Virgil smiled softly. "Yeah, you are." 

🎃🕸👻💀🕷🎃🕸👻💀🕷🎃🕸👻💀🕷🎃🕸👻FNBMIG Taglist: @lehuka123

All: @misery-killed-me @superwholocked-for-life @mirror2thespirit @aroundofapplesauce @lyditist @little-euro-girl @unicornofdarknessstuff @maryann-draws @odette-ssbu

[itriedandimtired]

Birthday

a/n: GUESS WHOSE BIRTHDAY IT IS– I've had this in my draft since March, and the moment it became May I was like- “why don't I publish this on his birthday?”, so here we are! Happy Birthday Roman Sanders 😔❤✨ also thank you so much to @palette6 (is that the url? They're deactivated I can't tag them :( ) for helping me with parts of whatever this is! :D

AU: Human!AU

Genre: Hurt/comfort

WARNINGS: toxic mother, feeling bad, hint of s*x joke, a little crying as well. it will be fluff by the end tho, oh also a LOT of time skips, bad writing because I'm too lazy to edit-

_____________

Roman jolted up on his bed.

School.

Roman thought, he gets up quickly turning to his door. That's when he stops for a second, recalling the fact he won't be going to school today. Of course, Patton was disappointed, but that was Roman's parents decision.

His parents insisted on visiting his brother, Remus. Roman had just plan to go out with Patton today, but guess his birthday can't go as well as he wishes.

Birthday.

‘One year closer to death’, as Virgil would say.

Roman sigh as he flops back onto his bed. He glance at his bags those he had packed up last night.

He will need to get ready soon.

_____(beep boop time skoop)_____

Roman dried himself up as soon as he finished taking bath. Usual morning, usual routine.

He soon changes into his outing outfit; which includes a pastel red sweater, skinny jeans, quarter white socks and his slip-on shoes.

Ding!

His phone lights up from the notifications.

Space nerd 🌌: Happy birthday, Roman.

Padre 🐶❤: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROMAN!! 💖💗💓💕

Emo nightmare 🕷: yo princey, happy birthday lmao

Okay, that made Roman smiled. God, he loves his friends so much.

He send replies to them, simple ones as his mother already called for him.

Roman shuts his phone then slips it into his pocket as he walks over to his bags, picking them up and walks outside his house in a fast pace.

He placed his bags inside the car, was ready to take a seat-

“You're not going to help your father? Really? ”

Those words from his mother hurts. He takes a deep breathe as he makes his way to his father and helps with what he could. He could tell this will be a tiring day, though anything barely starts.

_____(time skip brought to you by my love for Roman)_____

It was half-way through the journey when Roman had his earbuds on.

“Laying down my pride, I need to tell you how much I need you now.”

He leans against his window as he lets his mind drift off to the song. He loves the song, it reminds him of the time back then when he was mean to others, specifically Virgil.

He really wants to apologize, he really does. He just doesn't know how to. He just-

“ROMAN!”

He flinched at the call, quickly pulling off one of his earbuds as he stares at his mother. “Ye- yes?” He stuttered out.

“Jesus Christ, you're always with your earbuds! What are you even listening to?”

“I was listening to a song-”

“Well, does it have anything to do with your education?”

“No-”

“Then it's not worth it!”

Roman chew on his lower lips, he hates this. He doesn't like it when his mother keeps yelling at him for whatever interest he has.

“Roman, you're falling behind from your friends already. Quit disappointing me.”

Roman only nods at that, he only nods at every single words his mother yelled.

“How do you want it? How do I say it? How do I let you know that I'm sorry? ” the song played.

What a perfect timing.

_____(another time skip I'm so sorry-)_____

“Roman, pass me the tissue.”

Roman woke up from his sleep, barely awake. He passes his mother the tissue box – that's what she wanted, right? – weakly, haven't gaining his energy yet.

He swear he felt the tissue box was lift up, he swear someone had taken the tissue box from his hand. So why had it fallen when he let it go?

“Roman! God, can't you do a single thing right?!” his mother started yelling.

Roman is fully awake now, shrinking himself. He glance out of the window as his mother is still yelling, noticing how they're in front of the hotel they'll be staying at.

Only God knows how grateful he is for that.

Soon, but not soon enough, his mother stopped yelling. “Whatever, just go help your father with the bags.” Roman nods, getting out of the car to his father.

“Here, bring these. I'll bring the others.” His father said as he hands the younger male a bunch of bags. Roman takes them carefully, balancing himself and he makes his way to the hotel's main door.

“Hey, son?”

Roman stops, turning to his father.

“Happy birthday,” his father smiled.

Roman froze, before he returns the smile and whispers a soft “thank you”.

_____(last time skip I swear-)_____

Roman lies on the bed as he stares at the ceiling. He doesn't share the same room with his parents, which he thinks is a very good idea. Not only can he avoid his mother, but he could gives his parents some space if they're into.. something.

Roman chuckled at the thought, Remus had rub off on him. Then he remembered what happened that day. It's not that he's not used to is, because he is. He doesn't even know why his heart broke so much that day whenever his mother yells at him.

Could it be because it's his birthday? He doesn't know either. He never really feels like anyone care, so why is today any different? Why is his heart so sensitive specifically that day? Why are his emotions so messed up? Why-

Then he broke down. Roman burst into tears, he doesn't stop for quite a while. He doesn't know how long has he been crying, but it sure as hell feels really long.

His phone's ringing is what stopped his crying. He looks at his phone, realizing it was his friends who are calling him, and he's not in the mood for that. So he waits, until the ringing stops.

And when it does, he sighs of relief. The notification, however, changed his mind.

Space Nerd 🌌: Roman, I believe you do not want to upset Patton. I suggest you answer the phone next time.

Emo Nightmare 🕷: Dude, answer ur phone tf

Padre 🐶❤: answer the phone plsss :(

Roman stares at his phone, if Logan and Virgil agree on a thing; he knows for a fact that he should be doing whatever that is. But doesn't mean he can't disagree. Patton saying it, however–

Whatever, it was too late for that anyway.

Riiiingggg!

Or not. He sprinted to the bathroom, splashing water to his face. He messily wipes the water away before he answer the phone.

“Roman!!” Patton speaks happily, as Virgil only shows his ceiling leaving Logan to formally greet Roman.

“Hey guys! What's up?” Roman greets through the phone, Virgil then lifts up his phone revealing his eyes and eyeshadows under them. “What's up? It's your birthday, duh!” Virgil says.

“Yep! Oh, we prepared something!” Patton informed, getting up from the chair he was sitting on and sprinted to somewhere else. Roman is shocked, to say the least. This is his first birthday to celebrate with his friends, even if it's through the phone. He clearly hadn't expected anything more than a “Happy Birthday”.

However, here he is; laying on a hotel bed while he's face timing his friends, confused to why had his friends prepared something for his birthday.

Then Patton is back, with a paper in his hands. “We were planning to give it to you today, but you didn't come to school. But that's alright! I will read it out to you, alright?” Patton says cheerfully.

“Alright??” Roman answers- well, more like questioning.

“I will start with mine first! May I?”

“Of course, Patton. Go ahead.” Logan speaks, for the first time since his greet.

Patton takes a deep breath, before he starts reading the paper.

“Hola, Roman!” Roman quickly recognized the usage of Spanish, and he must admit; he's impressed that his friends even remember that he could speaks in Spanish. “If you're reading this – well more like listening now – happy birthday kiddo! I know you're going through some stuff, especially with your self-esteem–” Roman quickly teared up at the words “–but you stayed strong, and that honestly impressed me. I've always said this but, I'll always be here for you. You don't have to be afraid, because I'll fight for you just like how you Fight For Me.” Roman chuckled at the Heathers reference as he rubs his watery eyes. “Thank you, Puffball,” Roman muttered, luckily loud enough for the others to hear.

“You are very welcome! Logan, do you want to read yours by your own?” Patton asks directly at the logical male among the four. “That would be,, nice, Patton. Ahem- Roman, I'd like to wish you a happy birthday.”

It was quiet for a while, to the point Roman questioned if Logan is done. That was, until Logan speaks again.

“I also would like to let you know, you might as well be one of the greatest things that's ever happened to me. Having you as my best friend is an honor, admittedly. Though you could be loud and obnoxious at times, you still stick with me until now. I always thought friends will never be my main priority but, you proved me wrong–” Logan takes a deep breath “–I started my journey alone, until you came along. From that, the four of us got along. I am never great with emotions, so I hope you get what I mean.”

Roman was stunned, he never thought Logan out of all people would be the one who said such a thing.

“What I'm trying to say is, thank you Roman. For everything you've sacrificed, though it might looks silly, I know it means a lot to you.” Logan spoken again, which froze Roman even more. The tears he had wipe away are just coming back again threatening to fall off his eyes.

“Virgil? Would you like to read it by yourself or-”

“God- please read it for me, I don't think I have the courage.”

“Certainly,” Logan flips the paper he was holding. “Oh- I don't think me reading this would be a great option, so uh- Patton, if you'd like?” Logan phrased unsurely.

“Of course!” Patton flips his own paper before reading Virgil's letter.

“Yo, Princey. Happy birthday. So uh, y'know I'm not good with expressing feelings with words and cliches bs like this–” Patton had look confused when he reads the word ‘bs’, however let it go “–but just to let you know, I appreciate your efforts. I know you've been trying to improve yourself and trying to be less mean to me, and you're doing great. Yeah, you were a jerk and all but hey, past is the past and let's get over it. I know you feel guilty, and you're allowed to. But just know, you don't have to. And oh, another thing;” Patton smiled excitedly, before he reads out the last sentence.

“Thank you for willing to accept me, and now I'd do the same to you.”

Roman was crying, at that point. Sure, he was crying as well before they were video chatting but this time.

This time, he feels happy. He feels loved, accepted and content.

Breathlessly, he whispered “Thank you so much, for everything.”

[sanderssideswriting]

Youtuber Life Chapter 4

Ships: familial sleepxiety and eventual Prinxiety

Words:???

triggers: attempted suicide mention

first  last  next

Summary: Remy Sanders is a famous beauty vlogger and just moved to LA with his teenage son Virgil after their location was leaked by fans. Remy AKA CoffeeAddiction has several million subscribers. Virgil also has a secret Drama channel, where he doesn’t show his face and uses a voice modifier. He just hit a million subs and grows more everyday because of the level of production his videos have, the mystery around who he is and the fact that he ALWAYS has the latest information regarding youtube drama.

“Welcome back to another episode of “the fuck did she say now? I have a DID drama update. I’ve been waiting awhile to gather information to do a long segment. Since she first came out about having DID which has been disproven time and time again she’s tried to make it more believable in the stupidest way possible. By reviewing Chick-Fil-A’s spicy chicken sandwich, five fucking times. I watched all those videos plus others to see if she’s trying to keep up the lie. She’s really not. I swear every time I have to give her my views to tell you all what’s going on I die a little inside.”

“Who are you talking about?”

“DAD! Read the fucking sign! I’m recording!”

“Are you talking about Trisha?”

“Yes dad, now let me tell them about her.”

“She’s a total bitch! I fucking hate her!”

“WE KNOW! Damn it, now I’m going to have to edit all this out.”

“I’ve been looking into DID. And it’s actually a very interesting topic, and I encourage everyone to learn more about it. There will be links to videos and article on DID in the description. DisociaDID has not been on social media very much since all of this. I know they attempted suicide. Not because of Trisha or atleast only partly. Nin the systems host was dating someone in another system called Team Piñata who was discovered to be doing some shit I will not mention because it’ll get demonetized. I actually feel really bad for they system, it seems like they have been going through a lot recently. Now for all the OTHER shit Trisha has said and done over the past few weeks.”

Virgil edited the video and posted it, making sure to edit out the bit where his dad interrupted him and called Trisha a bitch.

Roman texted him.

Roman: You’re a meme Virgil: I’m well aware, fucking Jake Paul Roman: I thought you hated the guy, why are you fucking him? Virgil: I’m so fucking done with you

“VIRGIL!”

Virgil rolled his eyes “What?”

“I have in idea for a video get your ass down here!”

Remy was in front of the camera “K, so what if I mixed all of my eyeshadow together into one?”

“First of all Cristine did that with nail powder and polish and Safiya did that already in one of her weird make up science videos. Second, scraping the eyeshadow would kill you to watch.”

“UGH! You’re right, what else could I do?”

“A Bob Ross painting on your face. you could use only drug store products for something,”

“Bob Ross painting with drugstore shit!”

Virgil shrugged “yeah sure, you could also get lip gloss mix it together and try to make something really fucking weird, or do that with gel polish”

“I refuse to touch lip gloss, it’s fucking gross.”

“Bob ross painting not on your faces with lip gloss and other lipsticks.”

Remy nodded “thanks Virgil, you’re helping my buy it later.”

“No, people at school could see me, you can order it,”

“that’s less fun though,”

Virgil rolled his eyes “fine dad, I just need to make sure that no one can recognize me.”

He was ready pretty fast, with a light brown wig and blue contacts he also had close that where black and purple reserved for the occasion.

“Hello everyone! We are in the car today at our local Walgreens because we’re going to be buying lipstick, lip gloss and lip liner to make a Bob Ross painting!” 

“Not on your face.”

“Not on my face, fuck lip gloss.”

“I wasn’t aware that was a kink or whatever.”

Remy glared at Virgil “smartass, you can walk home.”

“Gladly, I’ll be laughing when I see you trying to film and carry everything and talk and pay the cashier. You’ll be a meme.”

“You already got memed once this week, I’ll meme you myself if I have to. Or I could turn you into an E-Girl, you did lose that bet.”

“I absolutely despise you,”

Remy laughed “no you don’t.”

“I really do, and you can’t make me e an e-girl.”

“No, but the people can, there’ll be a poll right here, vote should my intern be an e-girl for the day?”

Virgil groaned “times like these make me wish I was aborted.”

Remy laughed.

The rest of the video went ok and no one recognized Virgil.

Raccoon: I hate life Dukey: I saw, I voted yes, you’d make a wonderful e-girl hiss hiss motherfucker: so did I, suffer bitch Raccoon: you’re both traitors  hiss hiss motherfucker: at least we’re not going to be an e-girl

Virgil was pissed the whole week. “What’s up with you Dr. Gloom?” Roman asked.

“Made a bet with Remus, and lost, I’m going to commit toaster bath.”

Roman made a face “why would you make a bet with my brother? nothing good comes out of it.”

“I thought I’d win, turns out he’s totally willing to eat deodorant if it means I’ll have to dress like an e-girl for a day and make a tiktok.”

Roman laughed “I cannot wait to see you dressed as an e-girl.”

“I can, I’ll be locking myself in my room all day.”

“I’m surprised Remus didn’t say you’d have to walk around in public like that.”

“He did, but he can’t see me, so I’ll be in my room.”

Remy was in front of the camera. “Time for you to become an e-girl!”

“I’d like to say a very special fuck you to everyone who voted yes and that after this I’m going to commit toaster bath,”

“It’s one day, you’ll be fine.”

“One day in my room with the door locked and curtains closed.”

Remy laughed “oh no gurl, you’ll be going out, I suggest you make plans.”

“WHAT? That wasn’t part of the deal!”

“I thought it would go without saying you’d have to go outside.”

Virgil just glared, happy his face wasn’t in frame.

The makeover took well over an hour. when it was over he looked almost unrecognizable, thankfully.

Virgil: Hey, anyone want to hang out, my dad’s kicking me out of the house for the day says I need to be “social” whatever the means Princey: So you do need to go out as an e-girl Virgil: unfortunately, anyone free? Logan: I have to study and Patton is out at the animal shelter volunteering, Roman? Princey: I’m free, meet you at the mall? Virgil: Sure

“Dad! I’m going to hang out with Roman see you later.”

“Have fun on your date!”

“dad! It’s not a date!” He slammed the door and left.

Virgil waited in a café for Roman. He got an iced coffee as always.

Someone shoved him while he was waiting in line.

“What are you? A boy or a girl make up your mind,”

Virgil didn’t look up from his phone “gender is a spectrum and gender norms are fake and I refuse to give into toxic musicality and if you have a problem with that you can leave because I already ordered and payed for my drink and am not leaving until I get it.”

“You can’t change your chromosomes, it’.” the guy said in a feeble attempt to get back at Virgil. basic biology

“How about you stop relying on basic biology and come back when you can argue the same statement with complex biology. If you really knew anything about biology more then the basics you’d know that scientifically there are at least three genders according to chromosomes. Male, female and intersex, and that once again biology isn’t fucking basic otherwise everyone would be a biologist. I can wear a skirt if I want to.”

He grabbed his coffee and left, Roman had arrived a few minutes prior.

“Damn emo nightmare I didn’t think you’d go all out on the E-girl look.”

Virgil shrugged “go big or go home, and I was kicked out for the day so I had to go big. Dad said I needed to go outside. For some reason, no idea why. I mean last time I left the house of my own free will not for school was only six months ago.”

Roman looked at him in doubt “I’m pretty sure you’ve been outside of your own free will sooner then six months ago.”

“Outside? Yes, of my own free will? not so much. Oooh hot tpic.”

Roman laughed.

“Shut up princey, they have cool stuff, including gay stuff.”

Roman shrugged “could be gayer.”

“You’ve been in hot topic?”

Roman shrugged “a few times with Remus, he makes me go, bribing me with Disney.”

Virgil smirked “why am I not surprised you can be bribed with Disney?”

He started looking around at My Chemical Romance t-shirts and other things. He also grabbed some purple hair dye.

“Where to next princey?”

Roman shrugged “Game stop?”

“Sure,”

They hung out at the mall for awhile longer before guess what another youtuber came.

It was Safiya doing a weird makeup science vlog.

“Virgil, planning on becoming a meme again?”

Virgil rolled his eyes “no, besides Safiya’s cool, I like her make up science videos. I just hate vloggers who do shitty content and make to much money through it.”

They left shortly after going their separate ways.

“How was your date?” Remy called from the basement.

“Not a date! You made me get out the house!”

“Come down here and finish filming!”

“So, how was your day of being an e-girl?”

“Got harassed about my gender and whatnot, I fucking destroyed the idiot, that was fun.”

“And who did you hang out with?”

“I told you and again, it wasn’t a date, everyone else was busy.”

Remy looked towards the camera in doubt.

“Well I’m never doing this again, I’m going to go change.”

The video went viral when it was posted several days later.

I saw a kid at the mall dressed like an e-girl a few days ago. They got harrassed at the Starbucks.

[universe-n-3276]

Carrying the Moon

Chapter 17

Notes: Mild smut at the beginning but you can skip it.

It had officially been a year since Hero was born, and when Sander woke up that morning, he smiled happily. Being back to live in the house where he grew up had other benefits besides not having to pay the rent. To seek some chill during the hot summer days, he and Robbe no longer had to rely on their old broken fan, in fact, they had all the air conditioning they needed.

He could cuddle his fiance whenever he wanted, and not staying away from him just because even the idea of touching each other made both of them sweat.

He snuggled to Robbe's back, hugging him and kissing his shoulder. He felt the other sigh and draw closer, intertwining their legs together

“Morning, beautiful.”

“Good morning, my king.”

Sander smiled at that name. Every time those words left Robbe's lips, there was always something inside him that felt the need to show off. Maybe it was pride or his possessiveness, or maybe he wanted to prove he deserved that title. He kissed the back of his fiance's neck and slipped a hand under his shirt, stroking his bare abdomen and starting to play with the hem of his boxers.

“You are in a good mood.”

“I'm always in a good mood when I can be with you in the morning.”

Robbe laughed, letting Sander take control of the situation. He closed his eyes, sighing, when his fiance slid his boxers to his mid-thigh, letting out a moan as his fist closed around his length.

“Your hands are too cold.”

“Sorry.”

Sander left a kiss on Robbe's shoulder still covered by his shirt and turned to get the lube.

“Can you wear a condom? I don't wanna shower again. We have so many things to do for Hero's birthday party today.”

He got a raised eyebrow and a muffled chuckle, in response. Robbe rolled his eyes, kicking off his boxers.

“Sander, please! I also don't wanna change the sheets. Again.”

Sander finished undressing Robbe completely and pushed him back on the mattress, then placing his hands on his fiance’s knees to make him spread his legs.

“This is not something we have to do, Robbe. Just tell me if you don’t feel like it.”

Robbe blinked, looking his fiance in the eyes. He was still fully clothed, kneeling in front of him, holding his legs open by his knees. He suddenly felt more self-conscious and turned his face to avoid those green eyes that were always too intense.

“Sorry.”

“You don't have to say sorry.”

Sander let go of Robbe’s legs and went to lay down beside him, covering them both with the blanket. He ran his fingers through the other’s curls, trying to catch his gaze.

“We don't have to do anything, but when we make love, it's about you and me and nothing else. Screw the party, the sheets, the shower. I just wanna be with you. I wanna feel you, I wanna take my time to make you feel good, feel loved. That’s what matters to me, okay?”

Robbe nodded, stroking Sander's cheek. Sometimes it was easy to get lost in the routine. Forget that the two of them were sharing their life because they loved each other more than anything, and not because they were in the midst of that chaos together by chance. They had chosen to be together in the midst of that chaos. They were in the foreground, the rest was just background noise. Robbe felt incredibly lucky, at that moment, to be loved by someone like Sander, who was able to keep focusing on him, even when the noise surrounding them was damn loud.

He took off his fiance's shirt and dragged him on top of himself, kissing his lips with all the emotion he was feeling at that time. Robbe needed to be one with Sander, the rest was just rust and stardust.

*

Sander was still breathing heavily as he pressed kisses to Robbe's face, who was keeping his eyes closed, smiling slightly, just enjoying that sweet touch. Sander liked to devote himself completely to his fiance, after making love. He knew that Robbe felt particularly vulnerable and he didn’t want him, in any way, to feel bad after doing something so beautiful together.

“Can I run you a bath?”

“It's not my birthday.”

“That’s why I’m not joining you.”

Robbe smiled, looking the other in the eyes. He took Sander’s face in his hands, drawing it closer to kiss his lips. He felt so blessed to be taken care of that way, even after seven years of relationship.

“C'mon, you’ll take a bath, I change the sheets and then I’ll deal with the birthday boy.”

“I love you so much.”

“Love you too.”

*

When he walked into the living room, he found Alice and Sander sitting on the sofa, while Hero was on the rug, playing with the box of the stuffed animal that Alice had just given him.

“Good morning, Alice!”

“Hey, sweetheart.”

“Dad!”

Hero smiled brightly, as he did every time he saw Robbe enter a room, and lifted the box he was playing with, to proudly show it to his dad. Sander and Alice laughed as Robbe went to sit on the rug next to the baby, making him sit on his lap.

“Happy birthday, baby boy.”

He hugged Hero in his arms and left a kiss in his blond hair. The boy showed him the box again and Robbe shook his head, letting out a chuckle.

“Wow, look at this box! It's so pretty, isn't it?”

“Sander was fascinated by wrapping paper when he was Hero’s age. He was such a weird kid.”

“Ma!”

Sander dramatically hid his face in a pillow, making everyone laugh, including Hero. He put the box aside and aimed his grabby hands towards his papa, calling him to get his attention.

“Can you walk to papa by yourself?”

Robbe helped Hero to stand and the child, staggering slightly, reached Sander, who immediately took him into his arms, kissing his cheek. Alice clapped her hands and approached her nephew to ruffle his hair.

A year ago, Hero had brought so much love into their family. Those who had chosen to welcome him and to see him grow had been rewarded with something ineffable. Robbe met Hero on his very first day on Earth, but he never imagined what he would become for him twelve months later. He didn’t believe, he could feel something stronger and more powerful than what he felt for Sander, but at that moment, he was looking at that little human being for whom he would have given his life without thinking, and he was sure that Sander would have done the same.

*

Hero's birthday party went great. Obviously, he didn't understand why all those people were around him, and he probably could remember less than ten of those, but the little one enjoyed being around adults, so he gladly joined the overall fuss.

Robbe's mom had also stopped by to say hello, although she left about an hour later. Robbe loved his mother, and his relationship with his father had become less tense after he grew up, but he often felt much more at ease with Sander's family than his own, so he couldn't wait to officially become part of it.

When Jens and Lucas arrived, Hero's face lit up, and he had spent most of the party glued to them.

*

As the guests began to leave, Robbe started to tidy up the living room, while Sander disappeared into the kitchen trying to give away some of the leftovers to the guests.

Robbe took a tray of mini sandwiches and headed for the kitchen, but stopped when he overheard his name being mentioned in a conversation that was taking place between his fiance and his cousin Olivia.

“You can't raise Hero with Robbe. He needs a mother, he needs a mother's touch. Two parents who can give him the best life.”

Robbe wasn’t surprised by the woman's words. He knew many people were of the same opinion. Two men can't raise a child and things like that. He had asked himself that question so many times before, but Hero was happy, growing up exactly like the other children, maybe even better than many of them because he had two parents who loved him, and he didn't care what gender they were.

He stayed there, waiting for his fiance‘s comeback.

“I agree with you.”

Sander's words hit him like a slap in the face. He hurried away, placing the tray on the first available surface, and went to lock himself in Hero's room.

The baby was laying asleep in his crib, with a peaceful expression on his face. Robbe picked him up, trying not to wake him, and sat down in the rocking chair, closing his eyes.

That baby was his son, but Sander had the power to take it away from him if he just wanted to. He felt like he was living a nightmare. They had talked about it so many times.

They planned to sign the adoption papers together, once they got married, as soon as Robbe turned 25. It was just a year away, but apparently, Sander had changed his mind. Now he could explain all the strange behaviors of his fiance. The reason he always kept his phone hidden. Since he'd noticed it while they were at the beach house, he couldn't help but observe the way Sander kept doing it even if he said that there was nothing to worry about.

But then again, Sander was so handsome that even if Noor hadn't been chosen to become Hero's mother, he'd only have to snap his fingers to find as many women as he wanted, willing to raise a child. Maybe Sander was tired of being with a man, or maybe he just realized he didn't want to raise Hero anymore and he would let Charlotte take him back.

All those thoughts seemed equally valid to him, and the conclusion was always the same. Robbe would end up giving up on his baby. Those were probably the last moments they spent together.

He felt his throat close and a sob escaping his lips and he began to cry, holding Hero in his arms.

*

Robbe didn't know how long it had been since he had taken shelter in the nursery, but the guests must have all left because there was no sound from the house. The chaos of thoughts in his head had made him lose track of time, even though the weight and heat of Hero on his chest had made him relax a bit.

Sander opened the door slowly and smiled, seeing Robbe and Hero together in the rocking chair.

“Hey, what are you doing here? I thought he was sleeping already.”

He approached his fiance to stroke his cheek, but the other turned his head quickly to avoid his hand.

“Don't touch me.”

“Robbe, what's wrong?”

“I wanna stay alone with him.”

Sander frowned, not understanding what was happening. The party had gone well and the last time he saw Robbe, he was happy. But at the moment his mood was completely different, and it didn't seem to be something generic. He just was angry with him.

“Can you tell me what’s happening?”

Robbe avoided his gaze, as the tears began to fall on his cheeks, and Sander wanted to hug him, comfort him in some way, but he decided to respect his fiance's request. He knelt in front of the rocking chair and looked at Robbe trying to understand what was going on.

“Robbe, please. It hurts me to see you like this.”

Still, no answer as the tears kept flowing silently. Robbe clutched Hero to his chest as if his life depended on him, and Sander was increasingly heartbroken. Maybe one of the guests had said something, or maybe Olivia herself had tried to make the same speech, she had started with him before Sander kicked her out. He wanted to talk about it but he knew Robbe and he probably wasn't ready to do it yet.

“Can you at least go to sleep in our bed? I'll get the couch.”

Sander closed his eyes, sighing and went to sit at the foot of Hero's crib, leaning his back against the bars. He could wait there in silence for Robbe to come back to him for all his life if he had to.

“I'll stay here on the floor, just tell me when you're ready to talk.”

*

“Do you think someone like Noor would be a better parent than me?”

It was late at night when Robbe's voice finally reached his ears, tired and distant as a mirage. He almost thought he had imagined it, but that conversation was too important to risk not answering. He sat up a little more straight. He tried to focus on the words he'd just heard, and when Noor's name came up again, Sander rubbed his temples.

He had often gotten his head stuck on a topic, but not like that, not after discussing it again, again, and again. Sander had tried in every way to reassure Robbe, to give him all his love, but apparently, it hadn't worked.

“What are you talking about, Robbe? And why you keep mentioning her?”

“You told your cousin that Hero needs a mother.”

“I- What?”

“I heard you saying that you agreed with her.”

It was Oliva and her stupid speech’s fault. That woman and her retrograde mindset would never set foot around his family again. He had sworn it to himself even before he knew Robbe was suffering like that.

“Are you kidding me, Robbe? I told her that I agreed with her, because of course Hero needs to be raised by someone who can love and take care of him in the best way, and that’s exactly what you and I are doing. I told her to fuck off!”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes, I'm deadly serious.”

Robbe blinked a couple of times, looking at his fiance. He suddenly felt more awake and stupid because he could have talked to Sander right away instead of bottling everything up while imagining hypothetical apocalyptic scenarios.

“I'm sorry. I don't know what's happening with me lately.”

Sander stood up, taking Hero from Robbe's arms, carrying him back to his crib. He covered him with his blanket and kissed his forehead. When he turned back, his fiance fell into his arms, and he smiled, running his fingers through his hair.

“I know what’s happening, and it’s my fault. Remember when I told you that I wasn’t texting anyone? I lied. I was texting Charlotte. I missed her, and I don’t know, I just did it.”

“Baby, why you didn't tell me?”

Robbe lifted his face starring at his fiance with those beautiful doe eyes. Sander brushed a lock of hair from his forehead and sighed.

“I was afraid you’d get upset. But there’s no need to. She has never started a conversation. It's like texting a stranger.”

“I'm sorry.”

Sander wrapped his arms around the other’s waist and hid his face against his neck. He kept making the same mistake, hiding things from Robbe fearing his reaction, and when in the end, forced by events, he had to tell him, he had always received understanding in return, feeling himself immediately better. Communication was everything, and he often tended to forget about it.

“We need to stop hiding things from each other. We’re getting married and we have Hero, who can feel if something is off between us.”

“And you need to stop deciding what’s best for me without asking, or I’ll get seriously mad next time.”

Sander nodded, without moving his head from Robbe's shoulder, swearing to himself that he would work on what was perhaps his worst flaw. He didn’t want to lose his fiance again, by making the same mistake once more.

“Can we go to bed now?”

“Yeah, my back is killing me and I can't wait to get some sleep.”

“Same. We're too old for this shit.”

They both laughed, but when in the darkness of the room, they heard Hero's voice calling them, both of them quickly understood that they probably wouldn't go to sleep as fast as they hoped.

[previous] / [next]

[onthevirgeofdestruction]

Dreaming While I Wake

Sanders Sides Foster Care AU - Roman-centric Angst & Hurt/Comfort & Abuse Recovery

Roman tries to be upbeat and hopeful despite all the shit that’s happened to him. And a lot of shit has. Luckily, his new foster home is with two literal rays of sunshine (and a sarcastic asshole).

Words: 3,977 Warnings: Spoilers and I’d consider checking them. Characters: Roman, Patton, Remus Universe: Dreaming While I Wake Genre: Power Angst

Chapter 21

chapter 1 for new readers - ffn mirror

   “Remus Reinhart!” A guard called, and the door opened.

   Roman’s heart could have stopped. He was completely blindsided by finally being able to see his brother after so long. He didn’t look different from Roman, other than the fact that he was almost twice as muscular. So his fear was as stupid as he thought. Though it appeared like Remus had broken his nose and it set funny, even though it wasn’t very noticeable. Roman only saw because he looked at it every day in the mirror. His hair was shaggier than Roman’s, which was saying something, but everything else was like staring at an alternate universe version of himself. That would be bizarre if he wasn’t used to it somewhere in the back of his head.

   “Ro!” Remus shouted and rushed up to the table Patton and Roman were seated at.

   “Remus! Holy shit!” Roman exclaimed fervently before he could stop himself. “Have you been lifting the younger kids? What the fuck?” Roman exclaimed in bafflement.

   “Why aren’t you lifting the younger kids? You got to be able to throw a punch!” Remus sat down next to Roman and the pair laughed buoyantly. “‘Ey! Seriously though, Sanvgjet?” Remus pointed to Patton.

   “Huh? Oh, yeah. He’s okay. Do you still speak that nonsense language we made up?” Roman asked curiously, leaning toward Remus.

   “Half of my unit does, the guards can’t break the code since there’s no code to break,” Remus tapped his head with a smug smirk.

   “Remus is your identical twin?” Patton asked loudly and incredulously. Oh yeah, that’s the expression he was looking forward to. Sheer bewilderment. Roman smirked at Patton’s dropped jaw as he glanced between the two.

   “He didn’t know we were twins?” Remus pointed. “You chaotic bastard, you wanted to see his face, didn’t you?” Remus laughed and hit the table lightly.

   “I only just realized they didn’t tell him on the way over. Perfect opportunity. The face is worth it,” Roman smirked. “Seriously, though, this is bullshit. I’m really sorry you’re stuck in here. My SW said something about you getting drunk and starting a fire? There’s no way,” Roman said pointedly.

   “I didn’t get drunk. I’m not that fucking bastard. That family was just assholes,” Remus huffed angrily. “But I did start a fire,” He shrugged, disaffected.

   “You did?” Roman raised his eyebrows. “For god’s sake, why?”

   “I didn’t mean to! They didn’t cook for me there and it was mom’s birthday so I tried to make her paella and it sort of scorched part of their stove. I ran away so they wouldn’t beat my ass for it. Mom would have been pissed if somebody touched us on her birthday of all days,” Remus said sheepishly. “I’m not the best chef, but I was sick of peanut butter sandwiches, and I just really miss her food,” He added solemnly.

   “I knew that was absolute horseshit. I can’t make her paella, either. I’ve been trying, but it never tastes right,” Roman admitted hourly.

   “We’re just going to have to wait till Dia de Los Muertos and ask her ourselves for how to do it, huh?” Remus laughed. “I just… still really want it again, even though I got in Juvie for it,” He admitted much more quietly with a reserved look on his face.

   “If they wouldn’t kick me out immediately, I’d give you a hug, man,” Roman said sympathetically.

   “That’s also horseshit nobody’s allowed to touch anybody. We’re all touch-starved bastards who get off on punching each other as human contact,” Remus bemoaned. “I think we could cordially shake hands like fancy fucks and be fine,” Remus held out his hand and Roman took it and they shook vigorously.

   “Hm, yes, quite, stocks,” Remus hummed.

   “Yes, yes, indeed, business contracts,” Roman nodded. They released before the guards got antsy.

   “So who’s this incredibly baffled looking stiff and how’d a non-parent get in to visit me?” Remus pointed vaguely to Patton with a quizzical expression.

   “That’s Patton. New foster parent. He’s nice, actually,” Roman motioned to Patton. Patton waved weakly, but he looked like he was still processing everything.

   “I mean, he drove you out here, so probably. It’s been fucking years, man,” Remus faced more towards Roman.

   “I’m sorry. I’m pissed about it, too. I’ve had just a real shit lineup of foster families. I lost phone privileges two families back, and I was with them for just short of a year and then I didn’t have your number anymore, I’m so sorry I never called, man,” Roman apologized emphatically.

   “I mean, I’m not happy about it, but I get it. It’s not like I could get your number to call, either. Your jackass social worker would never share it with mine,” Remus shrugged. He didn’t look happy, but he also didn’t look hurt, which was relieving. Maybe Roman was afraid for nothing.

   “Oh, I got a new one. They fired the old one. Long and Kistka story. Events transpired,” Roman replied, honestly not wanting to get into it. Though Roman wasn’t sure he could hold it together if he saw the police here. It was unsettlingly sterile, like those holding centers, and the guards were extremely unnerving.

   “Shit? Kistka? Jesus. Some serious events must have transpired to get an SW fired, I had one who used to hit me and he just got suspended,” Remus said flippantly.

   “Shit, that’s a bad SW. My new one is nice. He pulled some favours to get me on the approved visitors list along with the new guardians,” Roman explained.

   “What, a real bro? Nice. Mental fistbump. If we make fists they will tase me,” Remus nodded. “My parole officer isn’t the worst. I had to throw my weight around for a while, but I’ve got respect now and the other kids give me some space. Can’t be the top of the ladder but can’t be the weakest here. I think I’ve mostly got this place figured out by now,” Remus explained proudly.

   “I’m so sorry Remus, I feel like such a piece of shit for winning the fucking lottery while you’re stuck in Juvie,” Roman wrung his hands and dropped his shoulders.

   “Hey, the fates be dicks like that. Honestly, it’s nice to know you’ve got it good, if that’s what you mean,” Remus nodded encouragingly.

   “Nobody hits, nobody yells, and they have real ice cream. It’s awful I don’t deserve a lick of it,” Roman and Remus laughed together. Patton looked like he tried to object, but Remus cut him off before he could start.

   “Man, I hope I get placed with someone who will let me visit you after I get out. I’ve just got one more month,” Remus said, seeming excited.

   “One more? Seriously? How long have you been here?” Roman perked up immediately at that news.

   “Just a little short of two years. They couldn’t prove much, but the family was intense about pressing charges. So I got a lengthy sentence for freaking out and running off,” Remus said, sounding annoyed.

   “God, I freaked out and ran off last Wednesday and they’ve been nothing but nice about it and it’s driving me up the wall,” Roman rolled his eyes and flailed his arms slightly.

   “What’d you freak out about? The usual?” Remus asked curiously, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow.

   “Nah, I got this new thing where I have a fit about being a fuckup and I’m not punished for it, it’s weird,” Roman said dismissively.

   “Ugh, what a nightmare,” Remus laughed. “So you’ve had mostly shit homes, too? I always kinda hoped you ended up better than me,” Remus admitted, sounding disappointed.

   “Same,” Roman agreed sourly.

   “Well, the nice part about Juvie is I’m so desensitized to hitting and loud noises that I don’t freak out about it anymore. I mean, the smell of alcohol still sets me off, but otherwise I’m a little better at handling it.” Remus said. Roman smiled at that. It was a mixed bag at best, but at least it was something.

   “God, I’m worse if anything. Pat says that good environments are hard or something? I don’t follow. I just know I have a mental breakdown every goddamn day and I’m just so sick of it,” Roman groaned and leaned on the table.

“Ugh, that sounds like shit city. I haven’t had one in a while. Some kid choked me out like dad used to recently and I pulled myself together long enough to sock him in the dick and get out of there,” Remus looked proud of himself and nodded.

   “Oof, in the dick?” Roman made a disgusted expression and winced.

   “You’d do the same,” Remus accused and gestured towards Roman vaguely while he tilted his head.

   “I know I would, I can’t even handle shirts touching my neck, but that had to have pissed off some people in your unit,” Roman said, motioning to the building in general with the hand that wasn’t propping him up on the table.

   “Yeah, but ‘dickpunch mcgee’ ain’t been fucked with since. Somebody will doubtlessly try to get me back in the dick, though. I’ve gotta stay ready,” Remus said resolutely. What a nickname.

   “That’s probably the hard part even if you have it figured out. No safe spaces,” Roman nodded hourly.

   “Man, what’s even a safe space anymore. Safe spaces are a lie we tell ourselves. We ain’t safe from ourselves, even if we’re safe from others. Under the bed or in the closet always seems like a great idea until you’re cornered, you know?” Remus said blithely.

   “Deep. Dark. But deep. Turns out I’ve been attacking myself so I get it,” Roman held up his arm. The bandages were finally off, but you could still the healing lines of nail cuts.

   “Brutal. Badass looking though, like you fuckin’ fought a badger,” Remus smirked.

   “Is fighting a badger badass?” Roman raised his eyebrow.

   “I dunno, I fought one in the yard once and people said I was a badass. Rabies shot hurt like a bitch. Do you know when you started doing that?” Remus pointed to the healing scrapes on his arms.

   “I don’t even know I’m doing it. They’ve been making me wear these stupid gloves at home,” Roman said, feeling annoyed with the situation.

   “Gloves are pretty cool, IMO,” Remus made a spirit fingers motion and wiggled his eyebrow.

   “I don’t want to be a ‘Hans’. Who wants to be a ‘Hans’?” Roman’s voice raised slightly and flipped his hand in the air dismissively.

   “I thought Hans was a cool villain! He found himself in a shitty situation, so he made a master-plan to put himself in a good one! If he could have just married Anna off the bat, then he’d have been sitting pretty as princess-consort of Arendelle. I mean, assuming he stopped trying to kill Elsa to ascend the throne. He’d have no need to do anything shitty unless he felt like he wanted to dominate the world or something since he’d assuredly get a say in running the kingdom since he was honestly helpful other than the whole evil plot thing,” Remus explained his standpoint. It weirdly made sense.

   “Huh. I never thought about it like that. I mean, Anna would still have been in a loveless marriage,” Roman said, not completely sold.

   “She could’ve got the weird reindeer fucker as a side piece, it’s super common for royalty to have extramarital affairs,” Remus nodded sagely.

   “Boy, that’s a freakin’ AU I never saw coming,” Roman whistled. “Bypass the events of the story completely. Elsa is clearly a lesbian, anyway. The movie could have used her powers as a metaphor for coming out or something,” Roman mused.

   “Yes, make it gayer,” Remus hissed in delight.

   “Um… Hans is gay and mostly leaves Anna alone. And Anna’s bi and Kristoff’s NB?” Roman suggested, not sure what Remus was looking for.

   “Perfect,” Remus nodded. “Now you can be cool with the gloves,” Remus motioned to Roman’s hands.

   “I do not follow your crack logic,” Roman furrowed his eyebrows.

   “Gloves are gay,” Remus grinned.

   “I’m not-” Roman tried to object.

   “Yes, you are. We’re identical twins, fucko, that’s how I know. That’s dad talking and you need to sock that voice right in the fucking face,” Remus said seriously, looking Roman dead in the eye.

   “Identical twins don’t necessarily have the same orientation,” Roman said dismissively.

   “We’re monozygotic, not dizygotic, we statistically likely have the same orientation and I’m bi as the day is long,” Remus said firmly.

   “Don’t you use math to fool me, I can’t do math,” Roman hissed in displeasure.

   “It’s true, see, ‘cuz you’re gay and gays can’t do math,” Remus laughed.

   “Fine! I’ll consider that maybe it’s dad and reevaluate my life or whatever,” Roman dramatically huffed and gave up.

   “Thank you,” Remus gave Roman a thumbs up. “Any chance you’ll get kicked out in a month and they’ll maybe place us together if there’s a home willing to take two gay teens?” Remus asked hopefully.

   “I said I’d consider it, I’m not admitting anything! But probably not. I’m getting medical care and shit, I think they might like me for some ungodly reason that I can’t comprehend, I’ve been nothing but an ass,” Roman sighed. “Patton, any chance you’ll send me back next month?” Roman asked, equally hopeful and depressed about the concept.

   “What? Huh? I’m so lost! You’re both talking like a thousand miles a minute,” Patton answered, looking between the two with furrowed eyebrows and pursuing his lip.

   “Any chance you’ll change your mind and boot me out next month?” Roman asked again, a little slower.

   “What? No! Why would you ask that? I told you we’re not sending you back and I mean it!” Patton insisted.

   “Ugh, see? But they promised they’ll take me to visit you even if your new ones won’t take you to visit me. I think they might actually be good for it since I’m here now and all. I’d kill to live with you again, though. I’d put up with you kicking me and everything,” Roman sighed, motioning to Remus’s tapping foot.

   “I do be kung fu fighting in my sleep. But, actually, I shouldn’t share a bed. I sleep-attack anyone within a foot of me,” Remus said. “Defense mechanism, these days,” He tilted his head and shrugged slightly.

   “I’d put up with the sleep fu. We can have 4 AM panic attacks together maybe,” Roman chuckled.

   “Aw, brotherly bonding,” Remus cooed and fluttered his eyelashes.

   “Shut up, you fucking dork,” Roman groaned. “I miss you so goddamn much,” Roman said intensely.

   “Miss you, too. Don’t get emotional or they’ll kick my ass,” Remus shot a look to the door he entered from.

   “Sorry. I know the no emotions rule. I’ve just been waiting this whole time in the stupid hope that maybe we can be brothers again,” Roman admitted quietly.

   “I’m always your brother, you can’t lose me that easily,” Remus smirked and leaned forward.

   “I must start lifting more weights and then I can punch you in the face through the mirror,” Roman motioned to Remus and laughed.

   “Man, that’d be cool. I’d stab you behind the ear,” Remus nodded. “It’d hurt like a bitch,”

   “Ugh, Rude!” Roman scoffed.

   “Mirrorverse Twinicide! Calling the band name,” Remus declared.

   “Shit, that’s a magnificent band name,” Roman nodded in agreement. “Is the food here okay?” He asked curiously.

   “I mean, it’s better than starving,” Remus shrugged loosely, not seeming very bothered.

   “That sucks. Hey Patton, can I give him the chocolates? They made Patton carry them in for some reason,” Roman asked, holding out his hand for the bag.

   “Huh? Chocolates?” Patton pulled the bag out of his shirt pocket and Remus hissed in delight and made grabby hands. Patton passed it over, still looking kind of confused. “We couldn’t bring much, sorry kiddo,”

   “Kiddo? Weird. Thanks, though! Oh my god, I just want to eat them all, but stuff like this is gold in there. I can use it to trade for things or favors,” Remus said, sounding really conflicted, glancing between the bag and the door he came through.

   “Just pick a favour you’d do for yourself and eat a chocolate for it,” Roman offered.

   “Oh, life hack,” Remus nodded and considered it, holding the bag. “There is more here than I need of favours, I think. Hm. Staying alive is a favour,” Remus chuckled and dug out a chocolate to pop into his mouth. He ate it with a massive smile. “Oh my god, I have had nothing sweet since our fuckin’ birthday,” Remus hissed in delight.

   “We can bring more next weekend, kiddo,” Patton offered.

   “What, we can come again?” Roman shot in excitement. Remus looked to Patton with a wild joy in his eye.

   “Bring chips, too!” Remus cheered.

   “I have no idea what’s happening, but sure?” Patton said. “We’re almost out of time for visiting. I think I see why you’re not good with time because I literally do not know how that happened,” Patton sounded really confused.

   “Shit, already? Can we please stay till they kick us out?” Roman pleaded with Patton, holding his hands together.

   “Of course, bud. I know it’s been a long time. Why are they only letting you get an hour, Remus?” Patton asked, still clearly befuddled.

   “Oh, one hour is the ‘good’ amount of time. They don’t let us have more than an hour. If I was in trouble I’d have less,” Remus shrugged.

   “That’s awful. Prison really is better,” Patton’s frown deepened. “There’s not a lot we’re allowed to bring you, but is there something other than chips you want?”

   “Seriously? You don’t know me and you’re willing to buy stuff for me?” Remus asked incredulously. “What’s with this guy?” Remus pointed with this thumb.

   “I still can’t figure it out, honestly,” Roman shook his head. “Too nice. People can’t be this nice,” He tilted to the side.

   “I mean, he puts up with your ass,” Remus pointed to Roman and laughed.

   “And I continue to be baffled by it,” Roman shrugged with amusement.

   “Man, I hope someone will barely tolerate my presence over the clear and present disdain here. I mean, I will be hard to place now because I’m a ‘dirty criminal’. I’ll probably be in a holding center and end up in a group home at best,” Remus said, dejected.

   “I’m so sorry, those centers set me off just thinking about them. I hope you’re not stuck in one long,” Roman was equally distraught at the idea.

   “My parole officer says he’s already working with a social worker to find a placement. He warned me to not get my hopes up or anything, but he knows those places freak me out,” Remus said, a little hopefully.

   “You, too?” Roman asked with a raised eyebrow.

   “I mean, we were screaming like we were being gutted with a fishhook when they dragged us apart. I don’t think anybody in the room was okay with that. I bet we traumatized other people,” Remus gestured outward with his hands.

   “Oh, god, probably,” Roman sighed. “Man, prison’s too good for dad, they should have let mom kill him,” Roman groaned angrily.

   “Wait, what?” Patton asked incredulously. “I thought your mom died protecting you?”

   “She died in the emergency room. The cops separated her from him before she could finish stabbing the bastard after he gave her the fatal internal damage,” Remus spat. “We were all in the hospital, after that. Black and blue with broken bones and shit! ‘Cept good ol’ Arthur, anyway. He was out back at the time. Obviously, dad had to get his guts put back in, but they should have just let him die,” Remus rolled his eyes.

   “I still have fuckin’ nightmares about it. Ugh! Dude, the smell from dad’s guts, holy shit. I’ll never forget it. I try not to use serrated knives…” Roman mumbled and trailed off.

   “I mean the flashbacks and nightmares aren’t great, but serrated knives always just reminded me that mom loved us enough to try to kill him for it,” Remus shrugged.

   “I mean, that is nice of her and all, but that doesn’t stop the fucking blood-curdling screams from playing in my head. Though, to be fair, mom probably thought we were dead when she came in. I mean, we were barely breathing and there was blood all over us,” Roman shuddered. “You think we’d be here if Abuela didn’t have a stroke and she could still take us when dad fell off the wagon again?” Roman asked curiously.

   “Dad would have done it one way or the other. I don’t think Abuela could have protected us forever, as hard as she and mom tried. I miss the fuck out of her, though. Remember when we got bored and sawed off those tree branches in the backyard when she fell asleep so we could hit each other with them and after she was mad she let us keep the branches? Great day,” Remus smiled and nodded.

   “Not that this information isn’t completely and utterly horrific, but do you need me to bring you anything, Remus? We’re running out of time,” Patton shuddered and looked absolutely horrified for some reason.

   “Oh! Right!” Remus smacked himself in the head and they both cackled.

   “Mood,” They deadpanned together.

   “Underwear. Medium. Black boxers,” Remus said. “Boxers and chocolate,”

   “They-” Patton started, looking concerned.

   “Listen, you and your sad smile don’t need to know what sick shit they put us through back there,” Remus pointed behind him with his thumb. “Just trust me on that. Don’t bring too much stuff or they won’t let you in with it. Less candy and only one of those snack bags of chips,” Remus showed the size of the bag with his thumbs and foreigners.

   “I’m going to miss you all goddamn week, Remus,” Roman said despondently.

   “Eh, we waited four years, we’ve probably got this. I dunno about you but life’s suddenly a lot more worth living,” Remus leaned on his arms.

   “Oh, same. I can’t wait to throw you out of a tree,” Roman laughed evilly.

   “Oh, come on, it only happened a couple of times,” Remus rolled his eyes, sounding amused.

   “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, but a little vengeance never hurt anybody,” Roman smirked.

   “I’m pretty certain revenge hurts people, there, Roman,” Patton stopped him and Roman shook his head sarcastically.

   “The tall twink will protect me from your cold vengeance. He could probably reach in a tree and pull you out. You’re skinny as shit. I could carry you above my head,” Remus laughed darkly.

   “Man, I haven’t had a house that let me eat full meals for years until these gay dorks, cut me some slack,” Roman huffed and flipped his hand as if he was shooing a fly.

   “Gay dorks? All of ‘em?” Remus sounded oddly impressed.

   “Yup,” Roman popped the p. “I mean Virgil hasn’t mentioned it,” He added while considerately tapping his face.

   “You will get so bullied at school if that gets out,” Remus whistled.

   “I’ll just start benching the other kids like you do,” Roman laughed.

   “Time’s up,” A guard barked out near them and Roman and Remus both jumped.

   “Shit,” Roman and Remus hissed in unison.

   “I miss you, I have stupid emotions for you, I’ll see you,” Roman blurted out as Remus got up.

   “Ditto. See you next week, thanks again for the chocolate!” Remus waved as he walked back over to the guard. Roman sighed deeply and Patton stood up to help him out of the table. He grumbled and stared at the door Remus exited through and pulled himself up to his feet to head out. It would be a long ride home.

Personal Taglist: @bunny222 @elizabutgayer @prinxietyforever @kanene-yaaay-o-retorno @the-sympathetic-villain @croftersjam15  @ollyollyoxinfree

the taglist repository:

High school:  @dragonwithproblems @starlight-era @averykedavra  @potatsanderssides

Roman Angst:  @k1ngtok1

Hurt/Comfort:  @callboxkat @nonasficcollection @supernovainthenightsky @evoodo123

Roman-Centric:  @smileyzs  @robinwritesshitposts @thatgaydemigodnerd

Fostering AU:  @i-am-not-a-dinner-roll

literally everything sanders sides:  @katelynn-a-fan @dwbh888 @grouptalekindnesssoul @the-hoely-bleach @anvil527up @fanficloverinthesun  @brain-deadx0 @the-grounded-raven  @ananonsplace

[finalgirlguy]

If I’m Being Honest

Fandom: Thomas Sanders/Sanders Sides

Pairings: Logicality, really really background prinxiety

Word Count: 2,557

Trigger Warnings: Cursing, pls tell me if there’s more

There are nights when Logan doesn't sleep. He certainly doesn't do it as much as Roman and Virgil, but from time to time, work piles up, and only pulling an all-nighter can solve it. That's the only reason he isn't sleeping, really. It would be incredibly childish of him to not sleep because of worries.

It's 6am, and Logan is almost giving up. Letters scramble in front of his eyes, until the e-mail he's reading turns into blurred lines. He closes his eyes, resting, just for a second-

A blue cardigan and a wicked smile, that shouldn't be wearing those clothes, shouldn't use that voice-

Maybe coffee will help.

(More under the cut)

Logan runs down the stairs the most silently he can. Yes, this will help. He starts to put the powder in the coffee maker, and life seems brighter, in a stupid 6am, no sleep, coffee smelling glow.

Patton trudges down the stairs, smiling to himself. His hand stops at the end of the stair, patting it once, and Logan's heart does some very weird thing.

"Good morning, Lo!" Patton sing-songs.

"Good morning, Patton" Logan answers, eyes trained on the coffee maker. "Did you sleep late yesterday?"

Patton moves to the counter and starts making tea for himself. "Hmm, not really" he mumbles. "We watched Singing In The Rain, but as soon as it was over I was already in my bed, sleeping. You missed a really good movie, you know."

"Thomas already saw that movie before" Logan replies, turning to the toaster. Maybe some toast and Crofters will ease the sour taste in his mouth.

"Still..." Patton turns Logan around "We missed your company" His hand touches Logan's wrist. And then, in an unbearably soft manner, his other hand comes up and sweetly touches the skin beneath Logan's eyes, darkened due to the lack of sleep. "And you need to rest, Lo." Patton chuckles lightly and sweetly.

Logan thinks he might be having a heart attack.

He steps back quickly, freeing himself from Patton's soft hands. "Yeah. Well. I need to get back to work soon." Patton's face falls, just for a quick nauseating moment, and then he smiles again. Logan pretends not to see it, just as he pretends not to feel Patton's eyes on his back as he stares at the toaster.

Maybe if Logan stares at the toaster intensely enough, his bread will pop out sooner.

A sickly sweet smile, Logan, everyone's favorite character, the wrong cardigan, features that were supposed to be kind and sweet turning sour and sarcastic, I don't know, Thomas, you might not like what you'll find, blue and grey clothes turning yellow and black-

Ping!

Logan grabs his toast and spreads Crofters on it, with the careful method of someone who has never been more tense in his entire existence.

His coffee is not ready yet. Shit.

Logan leans his hip on the balcony and takes a bite out of his toast. Patton seems to have decided to take part in the staring at objects game, because he's now looking truly focused at his kettle.

"I'm sorry for taking so long to appear while Deceit pretended to be me." Patton says quietly, and Lord, Logan can't bear to hear his voice right now. "Please don't be angry at me."

"I'm not angry at you for that."

"Then what are you angry at me for?"

"I'm not angry at you."

"It's okay if you are."

Logan takes a bite out of his toast. When did Crofters become so sour? Has it gone bad? "No, it's not."

"Then why are you acting like this?" Patton snaps, looking up. He's not angry or bitter or anything Logan wished he'd be, just horribly sad. "You keep avoiding me, you act like my touch is poisonous, you won't  talk to me- "

Logan's coffee is ready. He puts it in a cup, trying his best to not look at Patton.

"I'm- I'm sorry I left you feeling like that, Patton. I'm not angry at you. I swear. I need to. I need to get back to work. Upstairs. In my bedroom. Important work. Goodbye."

Logan nearly runs out of the kitchen with the cup in his hands. He's not bolting, or truly even running, he's not trying to escape from anything, he just needs to get back to his very important and very urgent work.

He closes the door behind him, nearly spilling his coffee as he slams the cup on his desk.

Paper, and lines, and numbers, and math Logan needs to do, and names he needs to remember, and dates he needs to write down. Logan stares at those little black lines, unable to focus, for a very long time.

He reaches to take a sip of his coffee. It's already cold. The mug is black and blue, with a silly chemistry joke written. Patton gave it to him.

Hey, Lo, I have a gift to you.

Oh. Patton. You didn't need to.

It's just- you gave me the sweater, and I thought I could pay you back. It's silly, I know, but I just thought you'd like it. It's not as nice as the thing you gave me.

It's... delightful, Patton. Thank you.

Logan wants to throw the cup at the wall, scream, toss all these papers and pens on the floor, tear his hair out, do something, something that will make his heart stop hurting so badly.

Logan has just come to the decision that if he kicks something he could just probably fix it in barely a thought, when Roman comes barging into his room.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" He slams the door, making Logan look up from those damned numbers he has been staring into without really seeing.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Me and Virgil came downstairs and we found Patton. Do you know how he was, Logan?"

"You and Virgil came down together?"

"Don't change the subject." Roman's yelling, in such a dramatic Roman way. "He was crying, Logan."

Logan's fists clench in his lap. "He's not- is he- he's-"

Roman seems to struggle between being angry and being sorry. Logan hates the latter more. "You upset him."

Logan is looking through his window, without any memory of ever getting up and walking towards there.

"Look" Roman starts, careful but still clearly angry, "I don't know what's up with you, but I think I kind of know you, and this is about your feelings. So here's my advice: stop being a baby, Logan, deal with your damn feelings, and go apologize to Patton."

Roman leaves, and Logan falls to the floor. He thinks he might be dying, his chest stinging, his breaths coming out uneven. He remembers teaching Virgil about how to deal with panic. It seems so much easier on theory.

When he opens the door to Patton's room, the moral side is sitting on the floor. He's clearly been crying for a long time, and he's clearly on the brink of crying, and Logan doesn't know whether he wants to run away or hug him. He settles on sitting cross-legged in front of Patton.

"Did I make you uncomfortable?" Patton's voice is like wet cotton, choked and raw. "Is it a personal space thing? Because if it is you can just tell me I swear I'll stop touching you-"

"It's not a personal space thing."

Patton buries his face into his arms.

"Logan, whatever it is that I did, I'm sorry, if you tell me I swear I won't do it again."

"You didn't do anything wrong" You just smiled at me, Logan thinks, you just smiled at me and suddenly I was an idiot.

When Patton speaks again, his voice is muffled by his arm. "I can't bear to lose someone I love this much, Lo."

Logan thinks he might throw up.

"I- I love you too, Patton. You're the closest friend I have, and I know I'm not easy to bear."

Patton leans his chin on his arms, something so pure and sweet about that gesture. Logan struggles to not tuck a rogue strand of hair behind Patton's ear. "That's not how I meant it."

Logan isn't shocked, not really, because he's not an idiot, and Patton isn't the best at hiding his feelings, but he does crawl a little backwards as if he's been burnt.

"You shouldn't."

Patton stares at him for a while, as if he's trying to decipher a hidden message in Logan's words, but then he just deflated and chuckles, somehow equally sweet and bitter.

"Oh, Logan. I'm the Heart. All I know is loving."

"That's not true." Logan wonders if he's dreaming, and if this would be a good dream or a nightmare. "The Heart also feels other things. You also hate, Patton."

Patton looks at him with those shining eyes, reading every part of his soul like it's a giant billboard. "I don't hate you, Lo."

"But you should-" there's a line of logic here, Logan's sure ,  he has a point he's making, but he has no idea what point it is "I- I have done nothing but being rude and uncaring-"

"Lo, you're allowed to be angry. You're allowed to be bitter. Listen to me." Logan forces himself to focus on those eyes. "You're forgiven. Me, Thomas, Virgil, Roman, forgive you. We all love you."

"Not in the same way." Logan says, because he can't think of anything else to say.

Patton laughs. "No, not in the same way."

He reaches slowly forward, and cups Logan's face. Logan can hear a tiny Virgil in his head yelling "Flight! Flight! Flight!" and a tiny Roman saying "He smells like lavender".

"Patton, I-"

"If you don't want me to kiss you, say it, and I'll never talk about it again."

"That's not-" Logan huffs, hands falling on his lap. He feels like a child. "That's not the point-"

Patton's hand falls to Logan's neck, and he starts to straighten Logan's tie. "What is the point, then?"

Maybe it is Patton's room, because Logan can't form a single sentence. Every single drop of logic has left him.

After about 30 seconds, Patton's hand adjusts to hold Logan's. This time, Logan doesn't flinch.

"When Deceit showed up, as you..." Logan starts, after opening and closing his mouth 8 times, like a dying fish, "I didn't... realize he was... you know, not you. Virgil did, pretty early, and I- maybe I did notice, and decided to ignore it."

Patton's thumb starts to rub Logan's hand, and the logical side has to fight back a sob.

"He was- a cartoonish, almost offensive version of you, and I did... nothing. Because he... he smiled like you do. You have no idea how much that smile destroys me. And he, he was sweet, like you, and he said things you'd say, and I'm sure he knew that you'd say those things and that I'd react the way I did and all of this could have been solved earlier if I hadn't been such an idiot and-"

He stops abruptly, the room suddenly seeming to silent.

"And?" Patton asks, softly, as if he didn't already know it.

"And I hate it that someone else knows what I feel. I hate that I was manipulated because of what I feel. And I hate that I let him pretend he was you because I was too damn narcissistic." This feels like something that should be said in some much more private way, like in a confession to a priest, where the priest can't see his face, not while Patton stares at him with his all-knowing eyes. "I have tried to keep my heart to myself for a very long time, Patton, and you somehow make me show my heart to the entire world."

Patton is silent for a while, and then he says:

"No one's angry at you about the Deceit thing. I don't blame you for this. You were wrong.  It's alright. You don't have to be right all the time."

Logan doesn't know how to answer that. A part of him wants to scream that yes, he does need to be right, he's Logic, but... the way Patton said it, like it's an universal truth that people are allowed to be wrong sometimes. It's such a Patton thing to say.

"And, Lo, I think keeping your feelings to yourself all the time might be bad for you. Trust me, I hid my feelings a lot. Sometimes it's good to talk about it."

God, Logan wants to kiss him.

"I'm sorry," he says instead.

"Don't be." Patton says, smiling sweetly. "Let's do this. I'll tell you something in my heart, and you tell me something in yours."

Logan nods, like a child learning the alphabet.

Patton leans in and tugs Logan's hair behind his ear. "I love you." It feels so pure, so simple, an offering, that the only thing Logan can answer is:

"I love you too."

Patton beams. "Can I kiss you?"

Instead, Logan leans in and kisses him.

Logan tries, for some unknown reason, to number the things he's discovering in his head.

1: Patton not only smells like lavender, but also like lilies.

2: Patton's lips are chapped, and maybe trembling a bit, and Logan wonders if this taste is of peanut butter.

3: Patton's hand has moved to hold Logan's tie.

Logan just gives up numbering after that.

Patton leans away softly, a hand coming up to Logan's face.

"Oh, Lo, you're crying."

Logan's hand comes up to find that, yes, there is water running down his face.

"Fascinating."

Patton chuckles.

"Come on, it's probable the room. Let's get you out of here."

Patton is really smart, Logan thinks.

As soon as they enter the hallway, Logan feels like a weight has left his shoulders. He finds himself able to compose normal sentences again.

They sit on the floor again, side by side, hands intertwined. Patton leans his head on Logan's shoulder, and Logan kisses the top of his head instinctively.

"So" Logan says, "What is up with Virgil and Roman?"

Patton smiles knowingly, like he always does when they gossip. "Oh, I think they both slept at Virgil's room tonight."

Logan's eyes widen. "Did they-"

"Oh, no, not yet. They won't even admit they're in love yet. I don't think they  did  anything, they just slept in the same room because they enjoy the company."

"Virgil was very flustered when you asked, right?"

"As red as a tomato!" Patton laughs, nudging Logan's shoulder.

Logan sighs, pretending to be worried. "Oh, if only they could be as in touch with their emotions as I am with mine."

Patton laughs, but some glint of worry was still there. He leans and kisses Logan's cheek, quick and sweet.

"I'm not used to being able to do that" He says, smiling.

Logan pulls him closer and kisses his lips.

"I'm still not used to being able to do that."

They're immersed in their own bubble, not carefree, but aware that their worries can be solved. Roman and Virgil might walk into the hallway and see them in this odd place, Deceit might have his plans, Thomas can be hurt. But right now they are just sitting next to each other, holding hands, talking, kissing, loving each other, and right now that is enough.

[deadanddeactivated]

Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Put on Your Pants

Fandom: Sanders Sides Pairing:  DLAMP Characters: Virgil, Deceit, Remus, Logan, Patton, Roman Notes: Day 12 of the fluffuary event being hosted by @tsshipmonth2020​​ - DLAMP.  i am so far behind opps. Summary:  Remus doesn't really mean to meet his brother's soulmates first. He just sort of does.

AO3

--

In a world of soulmates, Virgil sometimes wonders what end of the stick he got when words started appearing on his skin.  They weren’t First Words or Love Words, static words that marked a special moment.  Rather they were Written Words - the things that his soulmates had written on their skin.  Or drawn.  Or accidentally marked themselves with.  Basically whatever ink spills onto his soulmates, leaks onto his.  

Sometimes it’s nice, like the little ‘I love you’ that always appears in light blue pen at his wrist.  Other times it’s annoying, like back when he was trying to figure out exactly how many soulmates he had.  

The ink only remains on him as long as it remains on them.  Which is why that ‘I love you’ is usually faded by the time he goes to bed but fresh in the morning.  It’s also how he got a completely free and mostly painless tattoo of a yellow snake on his hip.

But there’s a thousand other connections Virgil could have developed, and sometimes that thought keeps him up at night.

A timer would have been interesting.  An exact count of the seconds until he met his soulmate, or the moment he fell in love with them.  It also would have been terrifying and a lot of pressure and Virgil’s really glad he didn’t get a timer.

First Words might have been nice.  Solid words that didn’t change or fade.  But then he ran the risk of having terrible first words, or gerentic ones.  Sure, no one really greets strangers with a ‘hello’ for that exact reason but the risk is always there.  And what if he misheard someone?  Or if two people said his words?  It all sounds like such a nightmare.

Virgil would just straight up hate having a first touch soulmark.  He isn’t a touchy-feely type person, just brushing up against a stranger in the street leaves him wound tight all day.  And what if that was how he and his soulmate touched?  He’d never notice.

Of course there are also the invisible connections.  Like Strings of Fate, or Guides.  Then there were the colourblind soulmates.  And the mental connections.  Virgil’s pretty sure any type would make him nervous.  It’d be too easy to ignore the strings and guide, to run away from who fate deems his match.  Being colourblind doesn’t seem too bad, but Virgil would always be doubting if he had soulmates at all.  Same if he had something like a soul song.

Besides, he’s seen Aunt Patty cornering his cousins with invisible connections before, grilling them for news way worse than everyone else.  That is something he’d rather avoid, thank you very much.

So yeah, Virgil often wonders about the other connections.  But usually he decides written words suit him just fine.  

Usually.

“Oh come on.”  Virgil complains when he steps out of the shower.  Red’s got a moustache drawn across his face, which means Virgil has a moustache across his face.  Virgil also has class today.  Where people will see the moustache across his face.  And stare.

“I so don’t need this today.”  He grumbles.  Unfortunately, there’s really no avoiding it.  He can’t miss this class.  Only hope his soulmate will rub the moustache off soon.

Another piece of ink catches his eye as he gets dressed.  Light blue ink right beneath the usual ‘I love you’.  ‘Sorry!  It was a joke! -- thinks hes funny.’  One word, likely a name, is smudged and unreadable.  Like names always are.  Virgil isn’t sure if Light Blue doesn’t know those details wouldn’t show up or if they just never think about it.  

What he does know is that Light Blue and Red have met, a few months ago at least.  He figured it out when the usual ‘I love you’ appeared in red text on his other wrist, the handwriting matching Light Blue’s perfectly.

Virgil also knows that, despite Light Blue’s tendency to talk to him, none of his soulmates share his Written Words.  Which is fine, it’s whatever.  Most soulmates don’t share a connection.

He’s pretty sure Red can see strings, based on the rings they sometimes draw around the base of their fingers.  Light Blue told him he has Love Words, one night long ago when he was wondering about a person he doesn’t know exists.  Virgil has suspicions that Yellow is coloured, because sometimes they write the names of colours up their arms.  To Virgil they’re all yellow, but he doubts that's accurate.  Dark Blue is a mystery.  If Virgil had to guess, he’d say Dark Blue has Timers because, very occasionally, Dark Blue writes numbers and dates that don’t quite match their usual science-math mumbo jumbo.

All of that is fine with Virgil.

Really.

“Put it out of your head Virgil.”  He orders himself, huffing.  Why is he so focused on his soulmates this morning?  Does a stupid moustache prank really have him digging deep right now?

Or, a quiet and very honest voice says in the back of his head, maybe it’s because it’s your birthday.  Which, Virgil knows, is much more likely.  That doesn’t mean he wants to admit it.

So what if it’s his birthday?  So what if he’s another year older and no closer to finding his soulmates?

So what if it’s another year he doesn’t even exist in their lives.  Not really.  Not the way they exist in his.

Because if he’s right about his soulmates, then they don’t have a changing connection like his.  They have some flat, unchanging thing that doesn’t tell them anything.

But Virgil?  Virgil already knows them.  He knows that Red likes theatre, because they’re always writing down their lines or the dates of shows or the roles they want, sometimes later circling the ones they got.  He also knows that Red always forgets the milk.

Then there’s Light Blue, who will write on his skin for hours because he doesn’t want Virgil to feel alone.  Even though he doesn’t even know Virgil’s there, reading his every word.  He also sounds like the sweetest person on Earth.

Yellow likes to draw.  They also have a pet snake, and a pet rat.  Virgil thinks they’re terrible with names too, because they like to write people's names only to give them little nicknames or descriptions.  

Dark Blue probably writes the least, but when they write boy do they write.  Virgil’s arms have been covered in various math formulas and half-finished thoughts.  It’s like Dark Blue can’t find enough paper in the world to contain all the thoughts in their head.

That’s what his soulmates are to him.  Full people that… well, that he’s sort of already fallen in love with.

It hurts to think they know nothing about him.  

“Okay great, I guess we’re just having a bad day today.”  Virgil huffs, fitting a scarf over his face in hopes it’ll cover the red moustache.  It must have been drawn in some heavy duty stuff.  

Great.

--

“Trying to look anime instead of emo today?”  Virgil sighs as he falls into his seat, not even sure he wants to give Remus a response.  No matter what he says, Remus is likely to make something of it and Virgil just isn’t sure he has the energy.

Of course, his friend is likely to make something of it even if he doesn’t say anything so…

“No.”  He admits, pulling the scarf down to reveal the mark.  “Apparently someone played a prank on Red this morning.”  Remus gasps, then grins.

“Matchy!”  He says.  

“Sadly.”  Virgil agrees, rolling his eyes and fixing his scarf back up.  “Hopefully by tomorrow they’ll both be gone.”  This time Remus’ gasp is more offended.

“Are you insulting my moustache good sir?”  He demands.

“Always.”  Virgil smirks.

“I’d throw my gauntlet at you but Roman refuses to give it back.”  He claims. 

“You’d duel me on my birthday?”  Virgil asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh most certainly.  It’s like birthday punches but with sharp pointy things!”  Remus grins.  “But, since it is your birthday…”  Virgil’s amusement turns to caution at the look in Remus’ eye.

“Don’t make a big deal out of it.”  He warns.

“I won’t, I won’t!”  Remus assures, brushing him off.  “I’m just saying you should come to my dorm later to get your present.”

“Isn’t that my present there?”  Virgil asks, gesturing towards the lump on the desk, horribly wrapped in a mix of purple spider-themed paper (the spiders look self-drawn) and green octopus paper.

“Nop!”  Remus claims, very concerning grin on his face.  “This is something else!”

“Seriously?”  Virgil sighs.

“As a heart-attack!”  Remus grins, and then grins all the more as Virgil mutters about how that doesn’t work.

--

‘It’s ready!’  Virgil sighs at the message for the thousandth time, trying to pretend he wasn’t nervous.  And excited.  Nercited.  Oh god, he’s been spending way too much time with Remus lately.

And he’s about to be spending more time with him too, because he’s just reached the door to Remus’ dorm and the mysterious birthday present beyond.  Raising his hand to knock, telling himself he just wanted to get this over with, Virgil pauses right before his hand connects with the door.

“Remus, this is ridiculous!”  An unfamiliar voice snaps from the other side of the door.  Does Remus have guests?  Although it could be Remus’ roommate, that guys so exlusive Virgil’s not convinced he exists.  Should he still go in?

“Just trust me Ro, you’ll love this!”  That’s Remus.  What is he talking about?  Surely it’s not… no, Remus wouldn’t be trying to play a prank of him.  He’s better than that.  Right?

“I don’t trust you.”  Mysterious Person, possibly roommate, probably ‘Ro’, huffs.

“Oh come on Roman,” a new mysterious voice speaks up, “I’m sure it won’t be that bad.”

“The last time you said that I ended up with a moustache drawn on my face!” 

What?

“Shush!”  Remus shushes the other.  “Shhhhhhhh!”

What?

Did, did Virgil hear that right?  Surely he didn’t.  Surely he misheard, or it was a coincedience or- 

A ding sounds from his pocket as Virgil’s phone goes off.  The door opens a second later, revealing a wide-eyed Virgil with his arms still raised to a pouting Remus.

“You heard, didn’t you?”  He whines.  “Roman you stole my thunder!”

“What?”  Virgil finally manages to say it as Remus steps back, revealing the owners of the mysterious voices.  Two men are standing side by side in the middle of the dorm, chests wrapped together with a mix of purple wrapping paper and green paper covered in octopus’.  One has browny-blond hair and big blue eyes framed with glasses.  He smiles at Virgil, seeming entirely unbothered by Remus’ sheddigans.

The other man is clearly the twin brother that Remus has mentioned having.  They’re practically spitting images of each other, although this one looks more… well, less like a chaotic mess.  He has his arms crossed and a moment ago he sounded very put upon.  But now?  Now he’s staring at Virgil like a deer in headlights.

A lot like Virgil is staring at the two of them really.

Surely these aren’t…

That can’t be possible, right?

But right under the twins nose is a somewhat smudged, slightly faded moustache.  It’s drawn in a black marker but it other wise matches the red mark on Virgil’s face perfectly.

“Hi!”  The blond greets, waving.  “I’m Patton!  You’re a friend of Remus’, right?”

“Um, hi?”  Virgil manages, swallowing around the lump in his throat.  If Remus’ twin is Red, and Virgil is starting to really think hope he is, would that mean Patton is Light Blue?

Holy shit was Virgil really… really staring at half his soulmates right now?

“He’s a friend of mine, but his much more to you.”  Remus says, grinning ear to ear and wrapping and arm around Virgil’s shoulder.  Still stunned, Virgil doesn’t even push him off.

“Huh?”  Patton asks, tilting his head tiltly.  In response, Roman holds up his hand and wiggles a finger.  Virgil can just barely make out the purple ring at the base of the finger.  “Oh my gosh, really?”  He asks, hands raised to cover his gasp and growing smile.

“I uh, I think so.”  Virgil says.

“Well I know so!”  Remus grins.  “I recongized that moustache immediantly, I mean I did draw the original.  Aren’t I the best best friend?  I got you your soulmates for your birthday!  They’re even wrapped!”

Virgil takes a moment to let that sink in.  

And then…

“You got me stuck with a moustache on my face!”  He accuses, turning to glare at Remus.

“It was for a good cause!”  Remus claims.

“Good cause my ass.”  Roman huffs.

“This is so exciting!”  Patton grins, bouncing and accidentally breaking the wrapping Remus had done, much to the mams dismay.  Without the paper in the way, Patton quickly bounded over to grab Virgil’s arms.  “What’s your name?  What’s your soulmate connection?  Wait, you were talking about the moustache does that mean you have Written Words?  Oh my gosh that’s so exciting!  Does that mean you got my words?”  Words tumble out of his mouth so fast that it takes Virgil a moment to catch up.

“Uh,” he starts, “I’m Virgil.  And uh, yeah.  Um…” he trails off again, not quite sure what he’s meant to say.  So instead he gently pulls his arm out of Patton’s hold, turning it over so he can see the words there.  Words that Patton wrote.  Every morning.  Holy shit.

“Oh my gosh!!”  Patton squealled, pulling Virgil closer to look at the words.

“Babe you’re overwhelming him.”  Roman warns, having recovered a lot more completely than Virgil has.

“Oh please.”  Remus says, leaning more completely on Virgil’s side.  “I’m the most overwhelming person he knows.”  This time Virgil has the sense of self to bump Remus off, although he has to do it with his shoulders since Patton still has his arms.

“That’s not a good thing.”  He huffs.  

“Ignore my brother.”  Roman says, he taps Patton’s shoulder and Patton, begrudingly, steps away.  Virgil’s arms don’t stay free for long, Roman taking his hand and bowing over it.  “I am Roman Prince, I have been searching all my life for you Virgil.  You are more beautiful than I ever dreamed.”  He says, ending his little speech with a kiss to the back of Virgil’s hands.

“Uh,” is all Virgil can manage, his face flushed red.

“That was really good Ro!  You didn’t even stutter this time!”  Patton praises, making Roman’s face turn red as he stands back up.

“Patton!  You’re not meant to tell him that!”  He hisses.  His face goes all the redder when Virgil laughs. 

He knows these people, he suddenly remembers, he’s known them all his life.  Red is just as dramatic in person, Light Blue just as sweet.  Virgil never should have expected anything different.  The thought calms him.  Why was he so overwhelmed in the first place?  

“I’ve been waiting all my life for you to find me, Roman Prince.”  He teases, laughing again when Roman stutters.  It reminds him of the grand declarations Red would write, the hearts he would draw, only to quickly scribble them out in embarrassment.  It’s cute.

“Using our dorm for a party I see.”  A new voice speaks up.  “And blocking the doorway.”

“Hey De!”  Remus grins.  “Guys this is my roommate, I told you he was real!”  The three soulmates look over, meeting the mysterious mans yellow eyes.  Roman makes a strangled noise but Virgil doesn’t get time to think about that.  He’s a bit distracted as De’s eyes roll into the back of his head and he stumbles. 

“Shit.”  Virgil curses, quickly stepping forward to catch the stranger. 

“I’m fine.”  De claims, eyes already blinking open again.  “It was just… lots of colour, rather quickly.”

“Oh my gosh!”  Patton grins, looking from the now yellow band on Roman’s wrist to the new comer.

“I am the bestest best friend and the bestest rommate!”  Remus announces, cheering.

“Huh.”  Is all Virgil can manage for the moment, staring at his soulmate as gets back on his feet.

He’ll never actually tell Remus this but… yeah, best birthday present ever.

--

“I am determined to find our last soulmate first.”  Roman announces, slamming his lunch onto the table the others have claimed for lunch. 

“I’m still reeling from the fact there’s only one.”  De, actually Dante, says.  It didn’t take long for him, and Virgil, to get used to Roman’s particular brand of dramatics.  Or Patton’s practicular brand of ‘constantly, unintentionally adorable’. 

“I’m sorry!”  Virgil says for the thousandth time, although there’s no heat in it.  “I can’t help my eye colour!”

“Colours.”  Dante corrects.  He’d been only a little put out when he realized Virgil had mismatching eyes, apparently he’d spent his life assuming he’d have five soulmates not four.  That has been added to Virgil’s ‘con’ list for being colourblind.

The little messages his soulmates send him have been added to the ‘pro’ list for Written Words, not that he’ll say aloud how much he loves them.

“Why first?”  Patton asks, because he’s a kind heart who will actually play along and not just tease Roman.

“Because Remus keeps meeting my soulmates first!  He’s convinced he’ll meet our last soulmate first, and I won’t let him!”  Roman explains.

“Well he does have a fairly good track record.”  Virgil says.

“You meet Patton first at least.”  Dante offers.

“No, I meet Remus first.”  Patton admits.  

“Patton was his favoruite barasita.”  Roman says, like it’s some great tradegy.

“You know, it shocks me how good he is at finding soulmates.  He couldn’t even find out classroom today.”  Virgil says.

“Seriously?”  Dante asks, smirking.

“Yep.  Apparently he ended up in some science class and decided to just stick around.  He made a friend though.”  Virgil elbroates, pulling out the text messages they’d been sending earlier that day.

“Oh, maybe his friend is our soulmate!”  Patton suggests, deaf to Roman’s dramatic ‘noooooo’.  “He does write a lot of science-y things, right Virgil?”

“Lots of people do science-y things Patton.”  Virgil points out.

“Still, maybe there’s a clue in the things he writes to you.”  Dante says.

“He doesn’t write anything to me, he just writes on his arm.”  Virgil argues.

“There has to be some sort of clue.”  Roman claims, suddenly in good spirits again.  “This could help us track him down, so we can meet him before Remus.”

“I hate to break it to you but any ‘clues’ would probably be smudged.”  Virgil shrugs.  “All I know is that he’s probably got a timer.”

“A timer?”  Patton asks.  “How can you tell?”

“Well it writes weird dates sometimes.”  Virgil explains, lifting his sleeve to show the date on his shoulder.  There’s a date about three weeks from now, which has be crossed out.  “But it changes almost every time.”

“I hear that’s common with timers.”  Roman says.  “Apparently the timer changes when your fate changes, like you were meant to meet today but you missed your train and now your won’t meet for another three months.”

“Seriously?”  Virgil frowns.  “Okay that’s terrifying.”

“I like it.”  Dante says.  “Soulmates seem way too ‘free choice is a myth, our lifes are completely pre-determined’, you know?”

“Okay!  Let’s not have another one of those talks!  I need to sleep tonight!”  Patton quickly shuts that down.  

“Yes, let’s go back to talking about how we’re going to meet our soulmate before my brother!”  Roman says.  “If he’s crossed it out, does that mean that’s not the date anymore?  What’s the new date?”

“How am I meant to know?”  Virgil sighs.

“Hey guys!”  Remus calls out.  “Look I made a friend!  His names Logan.”  He gestures to the man beside him who suddenly raises a hand to his head, wincing.

“Go away Remus, I’m trying to organize how to meet my soulmate without you.”  Roman says, back to his brother.

“Might be too late for that.”  Dante warns. 

“Seriously?”  Virgil asks, looking from Dante’s smirk to the new comer.  Roman turns to look, eyes glued to the end of a red string that no one else can see.

“Oh come on!”  He exclaims, frowning.

“Four for four!”  Roman cheers.  

“Why does Remus keep meeting my soulmates first?!”  Roman demands, standing from the table to glare at his brother, hands on his hips.  For his part, Remus is finding quite a bit of amusement in his brothers annoyance.

“Oh last soulmate!!”  Patton grins, jumping from the table to wrap his arms around Logan.  “We found you!”

“Or Remus found you, he has a habit of that.”  Virgil says.

“It’s a horrible cruelty of fate.”  Roman huffs.

“Way not to be overwhelming everyone.”  Dante comments, resting his cheek on his hands as he looks between Patton, Roman, and Logan.  Virgil just watches Logan, seeing all the stages of surprise and confusion that he went through meeting Pat and Roman.

“Ah,” Logan finally manages to speak, “I was wondering why they suddenly all matched.”

“What luck!”  Patton grins.

“Remus luck.”  Virgil says.

“Stop giving Remus all the credit for my soulmates!”  Roman snaps.

“We’re not just your soulmates.”  Virgil argues, just to rile Roman up a bit more.  As they bicker, Patton lets go of Logan and instead leads him to their table.  It was a little cramped with just the first of them but they managed the six.

“They’re always like this.”  Dante warns from his spot across from Logan.

“Don’t lump me in with them.”  Virgil says, only to immediately return to his overplayed argument with Roman.

“Believe it or not, this is actually them giving you space.  De almost passed out when he met everyone.”  Remus faux whispers to Logan.

“It was because of the colour!”  De claims, face turning red.

“Oh my god!”  Patton exclaims, suddenly standing and looking mortified.  “We didn’t do introductions!”

“I think,” Logan tells De, looking over the chaos, “I might not mind.”

“Yeah, they get you like that.”  Dante sighs.

“Don’t let him follow you, he’s just as bad.”  Virgil says.

“Oh so’s Logan, you guys just didn’t see him in class.”  Remus grins.

“Falsehood!”  Logan claims.  Virgil can’t help but laugh, grinning as he feels something settling.  They go through proper introductions.  Roman goes last, giving his customary prince-y bow.  And then getting flustered as Patton, Dante, and Virgil clap because they’d made a secret pact and they all agree Roman looks adorable flustered.

When Virgil goes home, he’ll fret that they scared Logan off.  He’ll worry they were too much.

But tomorrow, Logan will join them for lunch once more.  And the day after, and the day after.  Then, when the semester ends and they have the time, they’ll all look for a place to live together.

And when Roman comes home, grumbling about how Remus found his own soulmates and Roman wasn’t at all involved, Logan will be there to chuckle about it.  

All of them will be.

[logansanderslove]

Logan 3.0  (8/?)

CO-AUTHOR: @demented-dukey

Summary: Remus is an incorrigible flirt, and Logan can only bear the innuendo for so long until something has to give. Passions erupt, but there are more lasting repercussions than either could have predicted, including a significant transformation to Logan himself! How will these new changes affect the delicate balance of Thomas’s mental state? When a new dark side threatens the lives of several of the other sides, will Logan and Remus’s love be strong enough to save everyone, including Thomas?

Ships: INTRULOGICAL

Sanders Sides: Logan, Remus, Thomas, Roman, Virgil, Patton, Deceit

Fic type: Drama, Romantic, Action, Flirty

Trigger Warnings: no character deaths, but a lot of very close calls. Consensual knife play and bloodplay, and lots of bloody fighting and monster attacks. If you’re sensitive to unsympathetic characters, some parts flirt pretty close to that, but there’s also a lot of extenuating circumstances to explain the situation, and there’s a happy ending once you get through the angst and misunderstandings. Self-harm and references to such, and suicidal tendencies.

MASTERLIST

Chapter 8: The Plan

Logan stood still as he dropped his hand to his side, his shoulders shaking. Everyone was silent as they heard the quiet sobs coming from him, and Patton slowly walked forward.

"Lo?" He said quietly, placing his hand on his shoulder, but Logan spun around instantly, shoving Patton's hand away.

"Don't touch me!" He yelled, glaring at the others, who stepped back with fear upon seeing the red specks in his eyes that were slowly spreading to cover the blue. Patton stared at his best friend with sorrow. Logan clenched his fists. "Don't you get it?! I just lost everything!! Remus meant everything to me, and because of my own mistake, I fucked everything up and now he's gone!! GONE." His breath was hard, blinking back tears. Looking up as wiped his nose quickly, he took a deep breath. "You'll never know what that feels like."

Virgil shook his head. "Logan, we understand how painful this is-"

"No, you don't." Logan stopped him, scoffing. "You don't really understand. You just say that to make me feel better. People always say that they 'understand'. But are you in my shoes? NO. Did you just lose the man who you treasured more than anything? No-"

"YES, Logan."

The others turned to stare at Roman, surprised at the Prince's weakened face, the tears running down his cheeks. Logan cocked his head. 

"What?"

Roman looked at him with pain. "Logan, he's my brother! I care about him, too!! Hell, I'd even go so far as to say I love him! He's my family, Logan!! I'm going through just as much pain as you are! So when I say that I understand, for the love of Shakespeare I mean it!!" He shouted, his voice cracking as he held back a sob.

Logan was quiet for a moment, then his eyes that were almost fully red faded to his natural blue as he took a long breath, then he nodded. "Well, then. Let's do something about it."

Thomas stared at Logan. "What do you mean? We can't go after him! You heard Roman, no one knows the Subconscious better than Remus-"

"But Roman knows it almost as well, and I can cover a lot of ground. Roman and I will go out and look for him. If you need us, call us right back and we'll be here. But I...I have to find him." He finally let the tears roll down his cheeks that he had been trying to hold in. "I can't bear to lose him..."

“At least-,” Virgil said, hesitantly, “-wait until morning? You need to rest-” he held up a hand, stopping Logan’s protest, “-and even if you refuse, think of Thomas. He just had a mental breakdown, and he needs to recover before you start putting him through more mental strain.”

Thomas hugged himself dejectedly, “I’m sorry, Logan. I really want to find Remus too, I just-”

“No,” Logan sighed, “You’re right. Self-care is important, and we’ve both been through a lot today.” He looked at Roman, “Do you… do you think Remus will be okay that long?”

“Yeah,” admitted Roman. “He once spent a week in there for fun, I think he’ll be fine overnight. And we could use the time to create a plan of attack.”

“Maybe he’ll come back on his own?” said Patton. “Once he has a chance to cool down?”

“Maybe, padre.” Roman shrugged, but his tone didn’t sound hopeful. “Re can be pretty stubborn.”

“He’s met his match,” Logan said, jaw set in determination.

Thomas yawned and clapped a hand over his mouth in embarrassment. “Oh my goodness, I’m sorry guys!”

“And with that,” Virgil said, “It’s time for Thomas to wake up so he can get some real sleep.” He wrapped an arm around Thomas’s shoulders and they both sank out.

“I’ll come with!” Patton said, voice fading away as he sunk out with them, “I can tuck you in, or make you some hot cocoa…”

Roman glanced around the dark side's common room, “Maybe we should take this back to my room? I think I might still have some maps I made when we were kids. They might be outdated though...”

“Every little bit helps.” Logan said, “Lead the way.”

~

Back in his own room, Roman sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’m not sure where to begin, Lo.”

“We start at the beginning,” Logan said, manifesting a pen and a stack of flashcards to jot down notes. “What kind of threats can we expect to find in the subconscious?” 

Roman groaned, falling back against the wall with a hard breath. "God, where do I begin?" He muttered. "Well, you have the obvious Dragon Witches that I let loose in there, you have the Nightmare Fuel-"

Logan held up his hand. "Wait, wait. 'Nightmare Fuel'? What's that?"

Roman sighed. "Well, it's exactly what it sounds like. Anything that would cause Thomas to have a nightmare. After a while it built itself up into its own creature, and trust me, you do not want to tussle with that thing. Remus and I took it on when we were kids, and boy, was it a mistake. I can only imagine what it’s like now. So let's try to steer clear of that."

Logan nodded, quickly scribbling down notes. Roman frowned. "Hmm...well, there are the shadow demons.”

Logan's head snapped up. "Shadow Demons?! What the hell? Why are those in the Subconscious?" He exclaimed, but Roman only shrugged. 

"Thomas is scared of them, that's why he keeps his closet door shut at night. He also keeps it shut in case-"

"In case the Demogorgon gets him, yes, I am aware. Please tell me that there is no Demogorgon in the Subconscious so we don't have to deal with any more Stranger Things than we need to." Logan muttered. 

Roman smirked. "You made a joke. That's adorable. But anyway, no Demogorgon." He bit his lip. "There are the Creepers, though."

Logan was writing on his notecard but stopped, raising an eyebrow. "'Creepers'? What are they?"

Roman scrunched up his face. "Nothing good. They're a kind of vine monster, and if they get ahold of you, they drag you off and tear you apart. Remus saved me from them on more than one account, and I did the same for him. They are nasty. They prey on the other creatures, Logan. Even the Dragons. They're that dangerous."

Pursing his lips, Logan relaxed back against Roman's bed. "Wonderful. It looks like we have our hands full, then." Leaning forward, Logan met Roman's eyes. "So. Where's the best place to start?"

Roman opened a closet, pulled out a large pirate chest, and began rummaging inside it. With a cry of triumph, he pulled out several scrolls, unrolling the parchment to show childishly-drawn maps. “Don’t judge. I was eleven.” Roman muttered.

“I wasn’t going to say a word,” Logan assured him.

Spreading out the maps, Roman pointed to various landmarks, “Assuming the layout hasn’t drastically changed, here’s where Remus’s room enters the subconscious, and here-” he pointed to another section of the map, “-is where Remus used to prefer to hide when we played. We should search together in case we run into trouble - I suggest we start between those two points and spread outward. We can divide the map up into a grid and mark off each section as we go.”

There were hundreds of X’s drawn over the map, clumping in different areas. “Known monster nests?” Logan guessed.

“Yup.” Roman said, popping the ‘p’. “Out of date, like the rest of the map, but I’m sure the population has only grown as time passed.”

Logan pointed out other symbols on the map, “And these?”

“Mystery spots.” Roman explained, “Places where time speeds up or slows down, or where portals can spit you out in other random spots of the subconscious.”

“Where the laws of physics go out the window,” Logan rubbed his forehead unhappily.

“Mmhmm,” Roman said, looking over the maps. “Y’know… it might’ve been a blessing in disguise that Remus almost killed you.”

Logan blinked. “Why do you say that?”

“Because, nerdbreath, you are scarily uninformed about what goes on down there. Flying around alone painted a big target on your back, and if any other creature had attacked you instead of Remus, you probably wouldn’t have lived to tell the tale. The rest of us wouldn’t have known anything was wrong until Thomas had his mental breakdown, and by then it would’ve been too late.”

Logan dropped his head into his hands, groaning. "Now that you put it in perspective, it seems that Logic has lost all logic." He muttered, then he let out a loud huff and sat back. "Okay. So. What kind of weapons do we have in case of a fight?" He asked, and Roman raised his eyebrow.

"I never really pictured you as one to use a weapon, Lo. You always struck me as one of those ‘the pen is mightier than the sword’ kinda guys." He said, but Logan shook his head. 

"Trust me, I'm good with a knife. And if you can recall, I have quite the punch." He smirked. "If you also factor my Dragon morph into the equation, I'd say I have quite a lot to offer."

Something sparked in Roman's eyes, "So, what I hear you saying is.." he said, barely controlling his glee, "You really can shoot fire like Toothless?"

Logan shrugged with a smirk. "I haven't directly tried it, but I'm well aware that I can. I can feel it when I morph." His smile dampened a bit. "But you didn't answer my question, Roman. What other weapons do we have? You were right. When I went flying around down there carelessly, I might as well have been wearing a neon sign. I can't change into a Night Fury unless our lives depend on it. I won't risk our safety. So it's going to be hand-to-hand combat. What do you have for me?"

Forcing himself not to bounce in excitement, Roman rushed to another closet and threw the door open. “Sorry, sorry, you’re right, not the time.” He grabbed a large rack and began hauling it into the main room - the rack kept coming and coming, appearing to be much larger than should have been able to fit inside the closet. “For your consideration, may I present my personal armory,” Roman said with a flourish. Across the shelves and hooks of the rack hung various pieces of body armor and weapons. There was a large selection of swords and shields (some of them looking well-worn and battle-damaged), along with a wide variety of daggers and axes. There were spears and throwing knives, along with crossbows and bulging leather bags. 

“What’s in those?” Logan asked, pointing at them.

Roman grinned, opening one of the bags and carefully pulling out a handful of dangerous-looking metal spikes. “Caltrops,” Roman preened. “Remus’s idea; he liked playing jacks with them.” He poured the twisted nails back into the bag and closed it, hanging it back on the rack. “Anything else you want, I can probably create it before we go, but we should pack whatever we need. The subconscious tends to drain our powers, and if we spend too long in there I won’t be able to manifest anything anymore.”

Logan nodded. "Alright then. We should pack our things tonight so we can leave early in the morning. I'll be well set with a sword and a dagger, Roman. Nothing else. I feel it will weigh me down. Besides, I'm quick. Fighting with a shield slows you down some. Is that alright with you?"

“Sounds like a plan,” Roman said, letting Logan select the weapons that caught his eye. Pulling his favorite shield off the rack (it was shaped like his logo and had many dents and scratches from battles long past), he set it against one wall, alongside his faithful katana. He added a bag of caltrops for himself, along with a spare dagger for emergencies.

Logan met Roman's eyes. "I'll be right back." He sunk out, Roman watching him go. Moments later he popped back up, and Roman raised his eyebrow at his changed outfit.

His black shirt and tie had been replaced with a different black shirt, one that seemed to be more casual while also being practical for what they were about to do. His jeans were the same black, but his black Vans had turned to a pair of short black rugged boots. Over it all, Logan wore a long black coat, the collar high and the buttons undone. 

Roman stared at him with wide eyes, blinking a few times as Logan pulled off his coat and folded it over his arm, now showing that the shirt was ripped in some places, almost like Virgil's purple shirt he always wore, but it also had a few interesting straps on it, where it almost seemed like something could be attached, but possibly also just for design.

Logan lifted his eyebrow. "Are you okay, Roman? You seem a bit frozen." He asked casually, and finally Roman found the words to speak.

"Holy shit, I can totally see why my brother likes you..." He muttered, eyeing Logan up and down.

Logan's eyebrow cocked. "What?"

Roman's eyes went wide, his face flushing. "WHAT? Nothing! You just...you look so different-"

Logan stared at Roman with a scrunched up expression. "I heard what you said, Roman, and while I am flattered, there are more pressing matters."

Roman let out a hard breath. "HEY, it's not my fault that you're super sexy now that you're all bad boy and stuff!!" He said, immediately clamping his hand over his mouth as Logan stared at him with wide eyes, then a smirk grew on the Neutral's face. 

"Again, thank you for the flattery, but honestly, only Remus is allowed to have this," he gestured to himself with an eyebrow flick. 

Roman chuckled. "Boy, have you changed. No more stick up your butt, I see, and now you're making jokes, you're way sassier, and you're super cool and badass! I like this new you, Lo! It fits you." Roman said, then he snapped his fingers with a realization. Walking over to his weapons rack, he glanced over his shoulder. "I know you said that you didn't want a shield, but your outfit just totally reminded me of this awesome shield I stole from Remus years ago. It's retractable, so you can just clip it to your belt when you don't need it." 

He took something off the rack, then turned around to face Logan with a smile, holding a small black metal shield with intricate designs etched with green. Logan smirked, walking forward and gently taking it from Roman's hand, then he saw a button on the inside, and as soon as he pressed it, the shield collapsed into a small strip that Logan easily locked onto his belt. He glanced up at Roman. 

"Thanks."

Roman nodded, then checked his watch. "Well, we should head to bed. We want to get started early, so we need to rest."

Logan nodded, then plopped down on the small couch that Roman had in his room, his feet hanging over the arm. Roman raised his eyebrow. 

"What are you doing?"

Logan shrugged, laying his arm across his eyes. "Eh, if we're going to be leaving right from here, what's the point of going all the way back to my room when all my stuff is already here? I'll just crash in your room, Ro. No worries, I don't snore." He said with a yawn, and Roman eyed his friend with a bit of caution, then it went away as Logan's breath slowed, and Roman knew that the Neutral Side was asleep. He kicked off his boots and collapsed onto his own bed, flicking off the light and sighing as he closed his eyes, ready to embark tomorrow morning to search for his brother.

(If you want to see the character sketches for Logan, I will be posting them to my side blog I’m starting, https://badasslogan.tumblr.com )

[hi-i-love-u-bitch]

Excuse me! But where is my Sanders Sides Gamer AU???

Voices in my head: Gee Bunny, it seems you have no problem writing a lot of other fics and stuff yet you still haven’t even finished the next chapter of your Spiderverse fic???

Me: SHUT THE FUCK UP DISEMBODIED VOICES IN MY HEAD!!! IF YOU WANT THAT FIC DONE SO BADLY TELL MY LOGIC AND CREATIVITY TO GET THEIR ASSES IN GEAR AND GIVE ME SOME GOD DAMN INSPIRATION!!!!

Voices in my head:.....

Me: Yeah, that’s what I thought! Anyways, idk if I just missed a memo or something but I haven’t seen any Gamer AU of my boys and that is a crime in and of itself! Like, how dare! But fret not, I am here to provide content (Read: headcannons) that you did not ask for! Let us begin! Or should I say start!

(please note that I am not a gaming expert so feel free to add or correct stuff)

NOW WITH A PART 2!!!!

MAIN SQUAD

Roman Rosewood

Obviously loves RPGs! Anything with a good story line really! Or has medieval fantasy aesthetic!

Skyrim, Diablo, Undertale, Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Fallout, Red Dead Redemption, Undertales, Dragon Age, God of War Dark Souls, Assassins Creed, Earthbound, etc.

Played West of Loathing just so he could rip on it but actually ended up loving it and spending way to many hours playing. Then he found out there was a game called Kingdom of Loathing by the same creators and went down that rabbit hole as well.

He was iffy about getting into JRPGs but then Virgil convinced him to play Persona 5 and he absolutely fell in love with the music!

All the music in his phone is either from musicals or Video games!

Also really likes choose your own adventure games like Detroit: Become Human, Life is Strange, and Telltale Games

So much video game merch! Usually figurines because he likes to make little shelves and display cases for them.

He also really likes multiplayer games because he’s a social butterfly and likes to play with his squad.

Sucks at first person shooter games but still willingly plays Fortnight or Call of Duty or Left for Dead with his friends because he doesn’t want to be a drag and complain. But also they sometimes die in game in the most hilarious ways and it just leaves everybody wheezing.

Virgil Dante

Horror games, obvs!

All about that dark aesthetic!

Devil May Cry, Silent Hill, Fran Bow, Sally Face, Resident Evil, The Witch’s House, Amnesia, Little Nightmares, Bendy and The Ink Machine, Alice: Madness Returns, SCP-Containment, Pony Island, etc.

Yes, he’s played all the Five Nights At Freddy’s games. It’s a good series and it isn’t his fault the fandom is bat shit crazy and full of ten year olds! Fuck you Roman!

Every time the Walking Dead comes out he knows he’ll end up crying by the end of it. He and the squad make and event out of it.

Japanese horror games are usually his favorite because they deal more with the psychological aspects of horror instead of the jump scares

So, yes, he’s also a fan of Corps Party and Fatal Frame

Also really good at first person shooters because he has a really steady hand (you usually have to when playing horror games least you want to restart the level) and it pisses Roman off to no end every time Virgil randomly headshots him.

Usually likes to by merch in the form of posters, t-shirts, or beanies. He only buys figurines if it’s a game he really, really likes.

At first didn’t know why people kept bugging him to play Doki Doki Literature Club but then he finally caved and...oh...that’s why.

Logan Mill

My boy loves puzzle and strategy games yo!

Legend of Zelda, Portal, Tetris, Unravel, World of Goo, Inside, Limbo, Pokemon, Shadow of the Colossus, StarCraft, Command and Conquer, Age of Empire, Heart of Iron, World of Warcraft, etc.

He likes Overwatch but doesn’t like playing with people online so he usual solos or asks the others to play. But that too usually ends in chaos.

Hates rage games because he gets frustrated easily and has broken at least four keyboards and two controllers

He still plays them anyways because he can beat it damn it! Just give him a minute!

Enjoys the God of War series despite all the mythological inaccuracies

He plays a lot of Minecraft to relax or destress and has build beautiful works of architecture and sometimes entire cities.

He thought it was stupid and childish and was embarrassed about it for a long time until the squad came over to his house one day uninvited and caught him playing. He was getting ready for them to make fun of him but they instead gushed about how AMAZING everything looked and how TALENTED he was for building all himself.

Logan ends up showing them how to play afterwards and they work together to make weird sculptures and complex tunnels underground.

He likes practical merch like backpacks, coffee mugs, pencil holders, notebooks, ect. as well as a few t-shirts and novelty ties.

Yes, he does collect Pokemon cards!

Patton Adley

Silly dating sims, farming games, and any cute game really! Plus a few side scroller games!

Stardew Valley, Harvest Moon, Slime Rancher, The Sims, Dream Daddy, Animal Crossing, Kirby, Monster Prom, Hatoful Boyfriend, Scribblenauts, Night In The Woods, Ni Nu Kuni, etc.

Big Nintendo fan!

He made the mistake of playing Doki Doki Literature Club without reading the warning tags and regrets it immensely...still a good game though.

He did the same thing with Huni Pop but that one made him laugh more then anything and he kind of got addicted to it. Then he found out there was a sequel called HuniCam so he went down that rabbit hole too.

He likes a lot of phone app games too like Cut the Rope, Neko Atsume, and Candy Crush.

Loves trashy dating app games, he thinks they’re so funny and cheesy

He was addicted to Mystic Messenger for a long while

Just because he has his preference doesn’t mean he won’t try other games too, Logan got him hooked on World of Warcraft (though really he did that to everyone), Virgil showed him Hollow Knight, and Roman suggested he play Undertales.

Prefers merch in the form of plushies and key chains!

He likes to bake and decorate cookies, cakes and pastries in the form of his favorite video game characters.

RED SQUAD

Duncan [Deceit] Adley (Patton’s twin)

A lot of first person shooter and combat games!

Doom Series, Super Smash Bros, Mortal Combat, Halo, Fortnight, Grand Theft Auto, Street Fighter, Tekken, Soul Calibur, Half-Life, Team Fortress, Destiny, Wolfenstein, Bio Shock, Splatoon, PUBg etc.

Patton was the one that introduced him to Splatoon and he won’t admit that it’s actually super fun.

Doesn’t mind story driven games and RPGs but he really just wants something he can zone out to and relax

He likes to troll people online, mainly assholes picking on little kids who just want to play.

He once teamed up with a group of kids on Call of Duty solely for the purpose of collectively kicking the asses of this groups of so called “real gamers” that were being jerks.

Has memorized all the combos! He doesn’t have time to sit and look up a cool finishing move, he needs it now!

Always mains the weakest/most useless character in fighting games and still manages to kick everyone’s ass.

Doesn’t have a preference in merch and usually grabs whatever he likes be it figurines, t-shirts, posters, plushies, or whatever, so long as he likes the game it comes from.

Has several tattoos from his favorite games

Emile Picani

Classic retro games, cartoonish games, and Nintendo are his jam broham!

Mario, Classic Sonic, Paper Boy, Transylvania, Spyro, Pac Man, All the Saga Disney games, Duck Hunt, Mario Kart, Galaga, Mega Man, Donkey Kong, Secret of Mana, Banjo-Kazooie, Conker’s Bad Fur Day, etc.

Absolutely fell in love with Shovel Knight when it came out!

Remy got him into all the indie pixel games: Towerfall, Terraria, Owlboy, Hotline Miami, Papers Please, Celeste, One Shot, etc.

Duncan was the one that introduced him to Cuphead and the usually play it together and see how far each of them can go without dying.

The game is difficult but the art is still so breathtaking!

Likes the occasional psychological thriller game

Bet Virgil showed him Alice: Madness Returns and Doki Doki Literature Club (after he’s played it of course)

Likes plushies and figurine merch with the occasional poster and coffee mug.

Likes to doodle a lot of his fav video game characters and cartoons and is actually really good at it. He helped design most of Duncan’s tattoos.

Remy Knightly

Likes a lot of indie games and old online flash games!

The Stanley Parables, Oxenfree, Inside, Firewatch, Super MeatBoy, The Binding of Issac, Donut County, Henry Stickman series, Impossible Quiz, Crush the Castle series, Hyper Light Drifter, etc.

He always gets everybody hooked on one game or another

He convinced everyone to play Undertales so for like a month they all went through a HUGE Undertales faze.

Was the actual, ACTUAL one that showed Duncan Cuphead because he knew the dork would be reminded of Emile because of the animation and would want to show it to him and play multiplayer (*cough* subtle matchmaker *cough*)

(Do not be fooled, he is a pinning boy himself)

Is up to date in all the gossip of the latest games and consuls, indie or mainstream! He’s in the know, know and if you need to know something chances are Remy probably knows it.

Weeds out through all the indie horror games for Virgil and recommends what he thinks are the best ones.

Same thing with Logan and his puzzle games, he’s usually is able to find very strange ones and Logan seems to likes those best.

Obviously has a lot of merch in coffee mug and thermal form as well as a few key chains.

Occasionally streams on Twitch with Duncan and Emile (sometimes inviting the main squad too), they’re commentary is usual hilarious.

[fanders-sanctuary-au]

Observation and Emotions

So another story for Dream in this AU! I’m willing to start a rp or a co-story with someone if they would like. Feel free to ask me about it!

For this though, I just wanted to write what kind of things Dream would see while he searched for the bad side of the Sanctuary, the things his Sir told him were sure to be there, and the reasons he was sent to kill Thomas and Deacon. I also wanted to include his breakdown at the end of it. Over all it’s kind of rambling, so I apologize for that. The person at the end might or might not be there, I hadn’t decided so I kind of left it up to the reader!

Still I hope that you enjoy it!

Warnings- Mentions of Nightmares, Death, Indicating past abuse or tiny’s, food mentions.

I think that’s everything. Please let me know if I missed anything!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~“

Dream had been at the Sanctuary for a little over two months. Two full months of endless searching. And he had come up empty handed.

He couldn’t find the dark things Sir had told him about, he couldn’t find the cruel side of Thomas Sanders, or even Deacon, who was the Shadow Man he learned. He’d spent the months with almost no sleep, searching the entire Sanctuary from top to bottom at night after everyone had gone to bed. He observed what happened in the shadows of this place.

He’d seen Deacon bolting upright in his bed crying out his apologies for failing someone in his dreams. Dream had watched in silence as Deacon had gotten coffee and worked, finding new places to rescue tiny’s from, ignoring his own health in the process. Why would someone with such a dark reputation be so selfless? He couldn’t understand it, he’d seen tiny’s shout at Deacon, seen them curse him, and he had watched as the man had simply nodded and encouraged them to vent their anger at him? Dream didn’t understand, he should be angry, furious, hurt them! Why wouldn’t he?

He’d seen Thomas staying up late as he worked to balance the bills and decide how he could help more borrowers. He could see the frustration build in the human as things failed, or was too expensive, or simply out of his reach at this time. He was confused why the human cared so much for a species that nobody else seemed to, he didn’t understand it, but Thomas never did any of the things Sir said he would. He never blamed the tiny’s that came to him, both from Deacon and from others, for being too expensive, or too much trouble. If anything he seemed to blame himself for not being able to provide more for them.

He’d seen Larry, more then once, getting up in the middle of the night to comfort a tiny who was healing and afraid. He’d watched the man sitting up for hours crafting items that would work better for borrowers, that would be more comfortable for healing bodies. And he had watched as Larry had failed in his efforts over and over, but never stopped trying.

He’d watched as Patton had pulled Virgil from his pile of fabrics and gently tucked him into bed. He’d then put a glass of water and some snacks on the table and made sure the lights were off so Virgil could rest in peace.He watched as Patton made his own rounds, checking on those who stayed up too late, getting them something to drink or eat if they needed it, or simply sitting with them. Some he tried to convince to go to bed, others he did not, Dream didn’t know what made him seem to know who could go to bed and who could not,mbut Patton looked after them all the same.

Dream saw as Roman had comforted Logan from a nightmare. He watched as the loud borrower would soften his voice and actions for new tiny’s that arrived. Speaking to them carefully but always with cheer and confidence. Dream saw as Roman laughed and would tell grand stories, involving the children that were there, puling them form whatever bad dreams they had, or realities they had seen into a vivid world of hero’s and light, where the villains could be slain or brought to the good side. He’d watch as Roman would then sneak the kids cookies, or a more healthy snack, before tucking them back into bed and reading some stories while they fell asleep.

He’d then seen Logan turn around and comfort others ignoring his own fears and insecurity’s to bring comfort to those that had experiences like his. Dream had seen as Logan would take some who had never stepped foot outside, and talked to them about the stars and the night and about the world. His own form of comfort for those who needed it. He even spoke to some about his time with the scientists, able to relate to those who’d been experimented on, comforting them and assuring them they were truly there in a way no others could.

Dream watched in silence as Virgil fretted over outfits. He watched as the man compared notes and went though dozens of samples of material before making careful selections to best fit whoever he was making the outfit for. He watched as sometimes the outfit would be nearly completed, but Virgil would stop and stare at it, then curse and take the entire thing apart simply to replace one item in it, so it would be perfect. Dream saw as Roman would beg Virgil for help with his costumes to perform his plays, and he thought at first Virgil hated Roman’s persistence but, late in the night Virgil worked on the outfits with as much care as he did for the clothing to give to the borrowers.

And then there was what happened during the day. When there were far more humans and borrowers awake and moving and talking. The place was endlessly busy, with events for the visitors that went though special areas of the Sanctuary. Learning about borrowers and tiny’s, seeing with their own eyes the way they actually could work and knew things, and were not treated as pets! Then there were fundraising, and interviews, YouTube filming, performances by Roman and other borrowers. The Performances were put both online and performed live for visitors. It was chaotic and loud and … and.. happy. Everything wasn’t perfect, no, but it was happy.

There were days when it was not though as well. And those days made Dream tremble because he didn’t understand, he didn’t grasp the ill feeling that twisted his stomach at the sight of usually such colorful people dressed in dark clothing. These were the days when lives were lost, a borrower or tiny too hurt to survive would pass away and the entire Sanctuary would go into mourning. He would watch as tears were shed for someone that was not known, or had barely been known. He saw the trembling of humans or borrowers as they carefully buried the borrowers, and the guilt at not succeeding in saving them in time. He could only watch as borrowers and humans comforted each other. It was beyond him, he didn’t understand. How could they show each other such emotions? Such a vulnerability and weakness? How could they whisper such words of comfort to each other? The sighs and whispered words made him uncomfortable.

None of it made sense to Dream. He’d searched, endlessly, refusing to take part in the activities, skipping meals, upsetting some by his lack of participation or even seeming lack of willingness to get too close to anyone for any reason. He endured patient lectures from Patton about not vanishing for hours and hours at a time, skipping meals, and asking him to at least give the bed in his room a chance to get comfortable. Dream couldn’t stomach sleeping in the bed, he’d pulled one sheet off and one pillow and slept in a corner of the room tucked beside a dresser. The familiarity of having a corner pushed into his back, and the feeling of a small space was comforting in such a strange place where he was so free.

He couldn’t find what he was looking for though. The things Sir had told him were here, the rooms for the experiments, the torture, or the punishments. He couldn’t find the cruel nature that these people were supposed to have, or the competitive drive to put people like his Sir out of business. It made thoughts come to Dream’s head that he didn’t like. Thoughts that left him shaking, and confused, and huddled in the corner of his room with his arms clasped tightly around himself.

What if Sir was wrong?

Dream shuddered at the thought, nausea ripped apart his insides at it. Wrong? His Sir wrong? Wrong about Thomas, wrong about the Shadow Man.. no Deacon, wrong about the Sanctuary.

Wrong

How was he supposed to know the truth then? He didn’t know what to do. His job was to kill them, to stop them from becoming a threat  to his Sir. He shouldn’t care that he couldn’t find the things his Sir told him to find, he should just kill them and return. Just like he was supposed to, he’d done it before. He’d killed humans and tiny’s before at the orders of his Sir.

He didn’t understand what was stopping him this time. Why the thought of slipping poison to either of the humans made him feel ill. Even though it would be stupidly easy, the hospital was open for anyone to go to at any time, with very few restrictions. He could steal enough to kill both of them in one night and be gone in a matter of hours.

But he couldn’t. He didn’t understand, he didn’t like this feeling that burned inside him, that twisted him up and threaten to drown him.

How was he supposed to live? He could not return to his Sir, he would be killed, or worse punished for failing. He couldn’t even imagine what Sir would do to him for questioning and actually saying he was wrong about something. The thought of it made him shudder and sweat trickle down his neck. But, he didn’t belong with these people and borrowers. They tried to help, and he was only allowed to kill… to follow orders..

Dream was trapped, he didn’t know where to go or what to do. He had orders, he had his commands, he had his Sir. But he had his own thoughts, the feeling that Sir was wrong about this place, and these people.

Dream was so very lost, so confused, everything inside of him ached and he didn’t understand it, any of it nothing made sense to him.

He was exhausted, confused, frightened, cold and hot. There were too many conflicting thoughts and emotions and everything swirling around inside of him.He couldn’t sit still, he found himself walking, though he didn’t know when he’d started or even left his room. He walked in a daze, not really seeing anything around him only aware he was moving and not in his room. His feet stumbled along the ground, tripping over himself till he finally stopped. His eyes were blurry with tears, they were overflowing burning trails down his cheeks. Dream saw someone before him, but with the haze in his head and the tears he couldn’t make out who it was. He fell to his knees in front of them, wrapping his arms around himself in a pathetic attempt to keep the emotions inside. His head bowed and his hair falling into his face as he failed.

"I don’t…. want .. to kill them… ” he rasped out. He was hardly able to form the words around the painful sobs that wanted to escape his throat. He hugged himself tighter, hoping, praying the one before him would offer a punishment of some kind. Something.. anything familiar he could grasp onto in this ocean of confusion that he was drowning in.

“I don’t.. want to.. follow Sir’s.. orders.. ” he said, his body shaking

“Please..” he didn’t know what he was asking for.

“Please..”

T: Awwww, poor thing! Let someone help you, Dream! I love how you described everyone at the sanctuary, doing their part and making things run, that was so cool! You make it come across as a real, living, breathing place, which is awesome! I’m really curious as to how Dream’s little arc will end now! 

[mythopoeticursa]

Borderlands 1 - the Dahl Headlands #1

Finishing up with Sledge and receiving a warning from Steele results in Zed helping the vault hunter get clearance to the Dahl Headlands, which is a wide desert range with two short stops on the way to New Haven, the main hub of Borderlands 1. The main conflict of this map is attempting to get into New Haven and being blocked by the up and coming Bandit Lord (I call him one simply because he has enough precedence despite being new to the Headlands) Mad Mel.

This is one of the best maps and mission segments with some of the lowest reward in my eyes. Ernest Whitting is a good first introduction to the map, giving you an understanding of the land by immediately pinpointing you to the real hub of the map, being Lucky’s Last Chance Watering Hole, rather than Ernest’s bluffside shack. Ernest serves more of a Shep Sanders role on the map, while Lucky and the Lucky’s bounty board are the next Fyrestone. Lucky is a fun character himself, causing the vault hunters to get contacted multiple times by an angry Scooter about how Lucky is making them treat his runners like crap, and how Lucky slept with his mother (whom we haven’t met yet as of this point in the game) which gives us a picture into who Lucky is. Not only that, but we have to rid his watering hole, a small village-like establishment, of bandits, and we find him sitting in his own home’s jail cell on a toilet model. That in and of itself tells you a whole story about carefree, tired Lucky.

This map is a good opportunity for players to open up their exploration and Runner skills, as the map is completely catered to Runner travel. The side missions here are enjoyable for exploration’s sake - there are many “travel to point A, B, and C” missions that show you different areas you can drive your runner to and see for yourself, but gives you a guided hand and something to do when reaching those locations. Skagzilla is easily the best beast in Borderlands 1, and I believe takes the cake even for Borderlands 2 (excluding Dukino’s mom in Lynchwood, because she is the same concept but bigger which is always welcome). Runner work in the game isn’t easy but is rewarding when you figure out how to work with your runner to get the most kills in this map.

I also enjoyed the B-level plot section of the Fast Travel network. While you can always fast travel to the dlcs in Borderlands 1, I’m glad you can’t do much fast travel right away - the Arid Badlands maps are small and easy to go back and forth on, and fast travel would have taken what was already seconds of travel down to seconds less. Fast Travel being available in the next large map, or chapter I say, of the game feels appropriate. Now I can go back to Fyrestone and to Lucky’s with ease if I need (which you really don’t need to go to Fyrestone again until Scooter and the New Haven bounty board give you jobs in the Arid Badlands but I digress). Giving this a slight plot point situated around Mad Mel wanting control so bad of the path to New Haven that he cuts off fast travel works well.

There’s also a side mission from Tannis, in which she instructs the vault hunter to go down to a dig site and recover an elemental artifact (explosive I believe). When going to the dig site, the usual taking care of bandits occurs, but down in the dig site is our first encounter with the Eridians. These bad boys have a very intimidating feature, and their shields are massive. Having 6 of them flying at you and slicing your shield to shreds is frightening at best. Powering through them doesn’t lead much reward in terms of loot, but knowing they look like the statues in the dig site and are likely related to the aliens who created the Vault and anything Vault related makes you excited to go further into the game and learn more. It also makes you hopeful that you’ll see them again, even if they’re tough enemies with their fast movement and strong shields.

Finally, Mad Mel himself, once you take out 8 runners, is a bitch to deal with. Let me tell you, he’s easily the worst Bandit Lord boss in the first game. Hell he’s probably my least favorite borderlands boss fight in general. It’s certainly close to call as being one of the worst. A small space for the runner to go around in a circle with 2-3 other runners, it’s difficult to get your aim down right, and Mad Mel shows up in an amored vehicle that can take your vehicle down in like 4-6 hits with his missiles. It’s a NIGHTMARE to deal with to this day, and it doesn’t even feel good to kill him, because there’s so little reward for doing so. All you can really do is drive out of his arena, then go to the Claptrap at the end of the Dahl Headlands, and go to New Haven.

The Dahl Headlands is overall fairly successful but i think if they wanted to do a fight with Mad Mel in vehicles they shouldn’t have given him such an advantage and should have put it on the main drag of the Dahl Headlands instead of a small arena. The map is made for high jumps in Runners and good vehicle combat, I wish they had taken better advantage of what they did well.