#also was vader just not supposed to recognize her? I mean I know he must be pretty out of it here but still

[auroralwriting]

All That, For This

Summary: In which you, Natasha, and Wanda make up a silly plan to find out if Loki has a crush on you

Pairing: Loki x Avenger!Reader

Warnings: If Loki is a warning then be warned

Notes: Hi this is the longest thing I have ever wrote and I am so very proud also sorry if there are spelling errors, I’m too lazy to re-read it :) but enjoy!

Masterlist

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“I’m telling you, Y/n, he likes you!”

For the last half hour, you and your best friends had decided to talk about your love life during your weekly girl time. Although you denied having a crush on the raven haired God, Natasha and Wanda could see right through the humorous attempt at a lie.

For months now, you’d been crushing on Loki. It started when he first walked into the compound. Those blue -- sometimes green looking -- eyes had reeled you in, and now you don’t think you’d ever be able to escape his charm even if you wanted too. He was so unique in many ways.

Although he was a God, one who could create illusions of himself, he mainly fought with a pair of blue daggers. He was quiet, always preferred to stick to his books rather than go to Tony’s parties. Even if he was quiet, he voiced his opinions frequently, but only when he deemed it necessary. All that had you head over heels for him in a matter of days.

You laughed at Wanda’s comment, a weak attempt of brushing it off. “That’s like saying Sam is the strongest Avenger.”

“As much as I agree with that statement,” Natasha laughed, the punch at Sam really making her feathers ruffle in the best way. “I agree with Wanda more. It’s obvious Loki likes you. You’re just to oblivious to see it.”

“Alright, let’s elaborate on that,” you said, brewing up a possible situation inside your head. “Let’s say by some miracle, yes, Loki does like me. But in what world would he tell me? Because it isn’t this one,”

Wanda threw her head back, a strangled sigh flowing out. “Then let’s do something about it!”

“Do something?” you asked.

Natasha smirked, the look that you names ‘the look of doom’. “What if he force him to admit his true feelings.”

“I’m not dying or getting hurt if that’s what you mean.” you threw your hands up in your defense.

“No, silly. Let’s have another Civil War.”

“What?” you and Wanda cried at the same time, panic ensuing in both of your veins.

The last time that happened, the team was split up for a full year until everyone had to take on Thanos. You were lucky you made it out okay, unlike Rhodey who was really hurt in the final moments.

Cackling, Natasha shook her head. “Between us three! Just a little fight or whatever, nothing like the actual Team Cap or Iron Man.” You sighed in relief, and it looked as if Wanda did the same.

“Okay, so what would that do?” Wanda asked. “How would it work?”

Natasha smiled, cracking her knuckles. “Oh, my dear girls, let me explain. We start a fight right here in the compound. We know the boys will have to come hold us down so we don’t break something, or ourselves.”

“So how will this help us get Loki to confess his feelings for Y/n?” Wanda questioned, intrigued by Nat’s plan. You wouldn’t lie, you were interested, too.

“Well, if Loki is the first one to grab her, then we know. Maybe even after it’s all over, he goes to talk to her.” Natasha had a mischievous grin lurking upon her face. “So, what do you guys think?”

Wanda nodded. “It’s actually not that bad. I mean, as long as no one actually gets hurt I’m in.”

“Y/n? What do you think?” Nat asked, excited that Wanda liked her plan.

You hesitated for a moment. What could go wrong? Even if he didn’t say anything, then you’d know. Even if something bad happened, you could blame it on the fact that you were all just angry. It’s happened before with Peter, Bucky, and Sam, so what was the big deal if the three ladies in the compound fought once?

“Alright, I’m in. But one rule: no one actually gets hurt. Either we fake it, or do things that won’t hurt much. We can all act, right?” Wanda and Natasha nod eagerly, the three of you standing up. “We’re doing this now?”

“What better time than the present.” Natasha grinned, grabbing a glass vase from Wanda’s shelf. “Can I break this?”

Wanda shrugged. “Go for it. I think Tony bought that from a garage sale, it had a sticker on the bottom with a sloppy ‘twenty five cents’ sticker on the bottom.”

Natasha nodded to you as Wanda opened the door. You ran into the hallway and ducked when Nat threw the vase at your head.

“That’s so it! You’re dead, Romanoff!” you yelled as Natasha ran at you. You jogged from the hallway and into the lounge near the kitchen where most of the Avengers were.

As Natasha ran closer to you, she was struck by Wanda’s energy blast. She fell to the ground, making sure a loud thud followed. As Wanda geared up to throw a blast at you, you turned invisible and kicked her legs out from under her.

Turning visible again, you felt someone kick you forward, looking back to see Natasha up and ready once more.

Just for fun, Wanda threw a blast right by Nat’s head, but missed and hit a large trophy of Tony’s. She looked to you and gave you the ‘I never liked that thing‘ look.

You turned invisible and ran over to Nat, to whom you lightly threw against the wall. Nat, being the incredible actress she is, threw herself onto it hard. Right as Wanda was about to come at you once more, you saw your friends running in.

“What the hell’s going on here?” Tony asked as Natasha growled. She went to grab you, but you turned invisible and pushed her away. Right as you went to go for Wanda, she threw a blind shot, and by some miraculous force, it hit you. You stumbled back, turning visible again.

You were getting ready to go for Wanda when you felt someone’s arms hook through yours, pulling you flush against their chest. You then watched as Bucky and Clint grabbed Wanda and Nat.

“What’s up your guys’ asses, huh?” Steve asked, to which Nat gasped in a mockingly way.

“Language!” she scolded in a taunting voice, one very nasal and high pitched.

“Oh shut up, Natasha!” Wanda groaned, pulling against Bucky’s hold, His arms held her in a tight hug from behind so she couldn’t move her arms.

You let out an airy, mimicking laugh, causing Natasha to growl at you. “Aw, look! The little puppy’s angry at me!” you pouted your lip out as Natasha went to lunge at you, only for Clint’s embrace on her collarbones and waist to tighten.

“Look, I don’t know what your deals are,” Rhodey started. “But you’re breaking stuff and I don’t think you guys want to really hurt each other, either.”

“Oh no,” Wanda shook her head in denial. “I really wanna hurt the Invisible Boy and Charlotte from Charlotte’s Web.”

You let out a huff and pulled at the arms that held you back, only to feel their grip tighten as well. “Calm down, Y/n, there’s no need to get more angry.”

The voice whispering into your ear almost made you drop the act all together. Loki’s soothing voice was like a melody in your mind, you’d recognize it from miles away. you swore you could see Natasha smirking at you.

“Actually, I’d really like to hurt Darth Vader right now,” Natasha countered.

“I don’t think we can let them go quite yet,” Peter mentioned, looking between all of your scowling faces. He honestly looked intimidated, you reminded yourself to apologize for potentially scaring him later.

“Kid’s right. Take them to their rooms or something. Just keep them away from each other.” Tony ordered.

Turning your head to look at Loki, his left arm was now secured around your waist while the other slipped down to lightly keep a hold of your right arm. He wordlessly guided you to your room, although you were certain that if you tried you could easily run out of his embrace.

Once you got inside, he let you go. You sat on your bed quickly as Loki shut the door behind him, but he was still inside with you.

“Are you hurt?” he asked, walking over to your bed and sitting down at the edge.

You shook your head. “’M fine,”

“What caused the three of you to attack one another? Because, if I am to be honest, you all looked like the three fools the Asgardians call the Warriors Three.” Loki asked. You held back a small chuckle, he was right, you all were fighting too emotionally. When that happened, it did look foolish.

“An argument that got heated quickly, nothing too major.” you sighed.

Loki shook his head. “From what I saw, Stark’s prized trophy was shattered, there was an indention in the wall, and glass in the hallway. I do not think it was a simple argument that started the fight.”

You forgot how smart Loki was. So, you just shook your head, running a hand through your hair. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“But you should. I have much experience with keeping emotions buried within yourself. It truly will only hurt you more later on.” Loki added, now moving to lean against the headboard next to you.

“It.. may or may not have been planned.” you admitted, a light pink blush coating your cheeks. Loki raised an eyebrow, a silent urge to continue. “It was Natasha’s really. It was to see if we could get a.. reaction from someone.”

“Did it work?” Loki asked.

You shrugged. “It did, but it doesn’t mean anything. It was a simple act.”

“May I ask who this plan was targeting?” Loki continued.

Opening your mouth to speak, you closed it again when you found the words stuck in your throat. Loki’s hand softly rested on top of yours, his thumb rubbing over your skin.

“You,” you said with an exhale of breath.

Loki smirked. “Me? well, now I must know what the reaction was supposed to be.”

“Exactly what you did. Grab me. It was Natasha’s attempt of seeing if..” you trailed off, unsure if you should finish your sentence.

“Seeing if what, darling?” The nickname Loki gave you made your heart flutter. “Do not be afraid to tell me. I won’t judge you.”

Taking a deep breath, you let the words slip past your lips. “If you like me or not.”

You closed your eyes, waiting to hear Loki laugh, mock you, do anything. But instead he was silent. You were getting anxious with each millisecond he didn’t reply.

“Please say something, tease me, laugh, just say something,” you pleaded.

Right as you were about to open your eyes again, you felt cool lips press against your own. You were quick to realize that Loki was kissing you, actually kissing you. You put your hands on his chest as one of his hands rested on your cheek,

He pulled away, much to your disagreement. “Darling, if I must be honest, you were the most enchanting being in the room when I walked into the compound for the first time. Even now, you still are the most beautiful creature to live within these walls.” Loki hummed for a moment, thinking over his words. “No, I take it back. You’re the most beautiful creature to live within the nine realms.”

You smiled, letting out a small, airy, giggle. “I guess I didn’t need to do any of that, did I?”

“Truthfully, you didn’t. But all of that, just for this moment. I will gladly take it.” Loki smiled as your head fell onto his chest lightly. He wrapped his arms around you as you giggled.

“Hey, Friday? Tell the girls that our plan worked.” you smiled as Friday reported to the girls.

You heard a loud, girly squeal and a loud ‘Yes!’ at the same time. Loki and you laughed, knowing that the rest of your teammates were left utterly confused.

But, in the end, you finally got your Prince Charming.

[darthbecky726]

Bad Batch 1x01 spoilers

I've never done something like this before, but I figured I'd start. Reactions to the first episode of The Bad Batch. (This ended up being a lot longer than I intended, but whatever)

Spoilers under the cut

Red logo burning away starts strong

Yay narrator dude!!

Feels like clones wars

Animated rots scenes!!

And what grevious did after the rots beginning

HOLY SHIT DEPA!!!!!

And caleb right???

And we're in

Omg who voiced young caleb bc it sounds a lot like fpj but aged down and he def doesn't sound like the 14 I know he was when this happened

I like how we started out on familiar characters but not ahsoka or anyone from tcw. We started w young kanan and his master and we know what happened to them and all but if anyone watching hasn't seen rebels they wouldn't be lost as to who caleb and depa are, they'd just assume they're random jedi in o66

Good ol droid screaming as it falls off a cliff

Wow. Them.

I love crosshair

And wrecker

And tech

And echo

And hunter

B1's are so dumb

Lmao the salt from hunter

I feel like depas forehead pearls are a bit unrealistically large but I have no cultural standpoint to really know so...

Caleb's voice is too deep in the same way that jack frost from rotg's voice doesn't match his character model

Ah wrecker not really knowing what she means and echo, the one who has been trained to deal w people and hung out w ani and obi is just like 'thanks general'

Obes kenobes mention

Why is echo so pale

Depa and caleb feel a little too pale too tbh I wonder if it's the lighting or the whitewashing

Wow caleb is a lot like ezra, I can see why kanan wanted to train him lol

Is this what separates caleb and depa, leading to her telling him to run??? Do I need to read dume???

Oh no

Noooooooooo

Bb didn't get the order!

Oh caleb nooooo! Nooooooo they didn't receive that order, they can help you!!!

And he's gone

Oh I need an au where caleb stayed with bb and they helped him after depa died

Hunter sounds so much like rex it's weird like ik they're supposed to sound the same but it feels like wrecker is replacing rex or something. Even tho ik rex's story is over for the time being

Crosshair, no! Don't shoot at him! He's baby

Oh no did crosshair get o66???? It didn't seem to trigger anything in any of the rest of them, but is crosshair close enough to 'reg' for it to have triggered???

😭😭good soldiers follow orders

"sure thing, boss" "hey hunter got a sitch"

Crosshair acting sus

Oh I love watching padawans fight, they're so good!!

I hope that hit to the tree did a lil cognitive recalibration for crosshair, he was acting crazy

Caleb looks so scared!! He just watched his master get gunned down by his friends and now strange clones are trying to kill him/confusing him

Oh caleb

Oh no crosshair don't try to kill him!! Hunters trying to help!

Also hunter doesn't sound as much like rex w the helmet off, but it's weird bc most of the clones are distinguishable by voice even w helmets on. I guess it's the 'im in charge' voice

Star wars if caleb had gone w the bb

Oh hunter u sly dog lying to crosshair so he doesn't go after him. U gotta figure out why crosshair responded to o66 and no one else in ur unit did

Oh crosshair knows he's been lied to

I will always love coming-out-of-hyperspace shots

Ooh kamino, always nice this time of year

Echo is done w wrecker

Why hasn't crosshair taken his helmet off yet, lil bit sus

They better get his chip out on kamino, I don't wanna deal w this

Oof hunter 

Oh who’s that, giving me cloud city vibes

Extreme cloud city vibes wow

Never realized how many clones are just on kamino

Coruscant guard?!?! FOX?!?!

The vibes here, omg

‘The war is over’ wow

Oh no who was that

A female jedi, doesn’t appear to be shaak, couldn’t see any montrals but never know, we don’t officially know how or where she died

Ok wow none of the bb has their helmets on except for crosshair, who got the order. The regs around kamino all have their helmets on. That scene in victory and death when ahsoka took rex’s helmet off- 

And crosshair, he’s actins strange too

Oh tech, do u guys get bullied by regs a lot??

I love their barracks

Lol he finally took his helmet off only to stick a toothpick in his mouth, can he get anymore cliched?

Wrecker is seeming a lot more infantilized than he was in the s7 eps...

Yeah crosshair’s being sus

Ooh, he shifted his toothpick

Lmao ‘what programming’

Well documented my ass

Tech’s speech patterns are so stiff and robotic, it’s like he has to remind himself to talk in basic instead of binary or some shit

Tech throwing shade at crosshair

I can’t quite tell if we’re supposed to like crosshair at this point

Lmao we been knew

Oop ‘more machine than man’ the vader parallels are serving folks

Understatement.

Ugh sheev

Crusty ass bitch

Straight from rots wow

Who is the mystery child and why does he look mandalorian

Ooh he gone

Oh no, the beninning of the empire

Cheering?? Why?!?

That imperial march fade in tho

Thank you echo

Oh shit mystery child is female

Omega, I would not have guessed the pronunciation of your name by reading it wow

She def seems mandalorian

Ugh kaminoans

Oh the kaminoan pronounced it as it usually is, huh.

Omega’s character model def seems more masculine than female, I now headcanon her as trans

Ugh tarkin, I hate that crusty bitch

Empire politics ugh

I love how much shade is being thrown at tarkin and his stormtrooper proposal lmao

Why do all these clones have the standard haircut?? ik them boys like their variety, even if these boys are still under o66′s programming

Wrecker you’re being extremely loud

They’re all being loud in the mess, why

They remember, kid

Lol child

Oh my sweet summer children

The dad instinct was clearly passed genetically from jango lol all these clones got it

Why are background characters so mean? What about it, shiny? Why is ur hair regulation, reg??

The Sad Batchn omg the slander

Lol the food fight I’ve read about in the fics, its finally happening!

Is she.... australian??

The over-animation of character movements in this is reminding me of the looser style of rebels, as opposed to the more clunky style of tcw

Lmao he’s still got food on him

Food fight!!

‘Not again’???!!! Echo!! Wdym not again?! Food fights have happened before?!?? Wait. W bb or w torrent, bc I can see torrent having food fights on the resolute-

Crosshair’s just eating his food until someone messes

I like how echo still has his kamas

Oh no echo!!

Oh echo’s trauma, he doesn’t trust medical droids! Where’s kix when u need him, huh?

Lol, comically long name for a robot trope is alive and well, huh

Lmao the droid lowers his voice like ik this is a perceived bad thing, but I will not tolerate this slander, boys u need to get off kamino

‘The shock’ lmao whyyy

Lmao tech!!

Oh, echo recognized tarkin from the citadel!

‘When you blew up’ lmao

Oh they make me sad

Aaaaah fox!

Man the domino squad nostalgia

Those droids look cool

This is a neat scene, I like seeing them in action

Wrecker reminding me of hevy, but he’s got the training and success to back it up

Live fire???? No!!

Ugh I hate tarkin

Oh no wtecker

Did he just get shot!???! 

Oh no crosshair, be careful!

Tarkin’s trying to kill them!!!

Lol wrecker I love you

Echo using his mech hand as a weapon, truly an arc

Now I wanna see what happened on felucia

I like how tech’s just sitting on the droid’s shoulders

And hunter just had a knife

These boys, I love them

Oh no tech bby

Hot damn that was cool

Wrecher things so too lmao

Tarkin’s like “why didn’t that work??’

Oh new baby clones

No tf they could not, they would never serve the empire and those bitches

I love that they have a window apartment lol

Ugh tarkin u shifty

They all stand at attention, only after glaring at tarkin

Oh no onderon

I hate tarkin, he’s a bitch

How quickly could bitch lord and darth sad have replaced the armory on kamino??

Crosshair still acting sus

Neither does echo, kid

No.

I like omega.

Crosshair, with the sassy hand on the hip-

What does that even mean?? Or elude to??

Lmao tech messing w wrecker, they rlly r bros

Its prob the vegetation

Oh, I missed onderon, but not this much

Lol the put-upon sigh

Its clearly saw and his rebels

Saw! Looking sharp, what’s w the hair....

That’s a very geometric beard, saw

They didn’t kill any jedi!

That’s not what happened, tech

‘The clones’ bitch that was rex and ahsoka, check urself

Aw, I’ve always like the design of imperial probe droids

Thank you, echo

It seems like crosshair’s o66 programming and his mutation are warring w his morals

Lmao the shade

I knew she was an enhanced clone!

Oh, so she is (at least on paper) trans! She’s a clone of jango, and yet she’s female! That must be her modification, but it makes me wonder why

Lol *flicks toothpick*

Aw, they have a picture of themselves! Recent-ish, too, its got echo!

Oh no, AZI!

The difference between them arriving earlier and now, the lack of escort...

Creepy how they had to open the hanger door themselves

Oh no! Everyone!

The coruscant guard, I wish they had gotten better

Tarkin u dramatic bitch

‘The brig’ this ain’t some tallship

Lol echo that shade

Their blacks are different from the ones seen in the past

Crosshair, stop being a bitch

Oh, I don’t like that phrase!! And the fact that crosshair screamed it in echo’s face makes me uneasy. Did rex fill echo in on why fives died?? I hope so...

Crosshair, ur chip hurting??

This child, I like her.

No! Don’t hit hunter!

No crosshair!!!!

I dislike this immensly

So they do still have inhibitor chips!

Tarkin you monster

Oh poor crosshair

ihatethisihatethisihatethis

Lol tech I love you

Wrecker you sweet pea

Lol that’s adorable

I love how they form a “wall” its so suspicious 

He was about to say that, omega

Aaww, echo protective boi

Wrecker shut up tf

That was cool

Sneaky bois

This reminds me of rex and ahsoka sneaking around in v&d

Echo runs so stupid

Oh no they winter soldier’d him!

If he says who the hell is crosshar, I will lose my shit

Yes, he has. They took it from him.

The toothpick

I wonder how they’re gonna get crosshair back to normal

Not good that they nabbed the sniper

Oh, crosshair shot him in the same place he got hit during training!

Ooh, a kaminoan on their side!

I hope omega doesn’t die

Poor trigger etiquette, crosshair

Wonder if omega has any speciality training

They’re just gonna leave him there!?!?!?!?!

Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!

Omega reminds me of young boba 

Oh, so its in her dna

Go back for crosshair!!

Holy fucking shit that was amazing! I didn’t expect it to be that long, but I’m not complaining! This ended up being a lot longer than I anticipated, but I don’t feel like cutting anything out, so sorry for the long post but at least I put it under a cut.

[b-else-writes]

the tiger shark and the sun

New chapter posted for my Star Wars/Avatar the Last Airbender-RebelCaptain fusion AU! Feat: Jyn calls Obi Wan an old fart, Jyn tells Luke and Leia to stop being melodramatic about becoming evil, dragons, and me ranting about the “evil sexy matriarchy” fantasy trope. 

Read on AO3 | Read from start

Pairings: Jyn/Cassian, minor Han/Leia and Baze/Chirrut, random minor background pairings

Rating: T

Summary: Star Wars/Avatar the Last Airbender fusion AU. The Fire Nation, under  Fire Lord Palpatine and Lord Vader, has been at War with the world for  the last twenty years. When Jyn Erso lands on his doorstep the day  Cassian, last southern waterbender, is assigned to protect the Avatar,  she seems just another obstacle in ending the War. An obstacle he would  willingly remove. For exiled firebender Jyn, the Avatar is her last way  home - and to her hostaged father, never mind her own conscience. But as  their paths keep crossing, and the Avatar needs all help in saving the  world, Jyn and Cassian find they are more alike than they ever thought  possible.

Snippet under the cut!

Jyn woke with a start, rapidly trying to figure out where she was. She was lying on a straw mattress in a stone room. The early morning light filtered in through a low window. On the ceiling were carvings of circling sky bisons.

Slowly, her memory returned. Jyn sat up, taking in the small room in Hynestia, the Western Air City. Cassian and Kay were nowhere in sight. He had removed her bracers and her boots sometime after she’d fallen asleep, and left then. But there was a dent on the mattress from where he’d been. She could still smell him – and his horrible lizard – and she gave herself a moment to imagine a world where someone like her…

She hastily shoved the thought aside. Another, more pressing concern than her unrequited feelings had emerged. She was supposed to teach. Jyn buckled on her bracers and slid her boots on quickly. She combed her fingers through her hair, repining the bun, and set about finding Enfys.

It took her a surprisingly short time to get around: the entire city seemed to have been developed and built for easy accessibility, with lifts, railings, and maps everywhere. Enfys, after she’d shown Jyn her room, had said she was going to the temple. Jyn found her and Luke curled up on the temple floor, fast asleep.

Jyn crouched and poked her. “Wake up!” she hissed.

Enfys groaned, red braids falling in her face. “Jyn, it’s only dawn…”

“Enfys, I need your help.” Luke made a noise but continued to snore. Jyn pursed her lips. “I’ll make you those wheat pancakes with dates and honey you love,” she said in her sweetest voice.

Enfys cracked one eye open. “We don’t have honey or dates.”

“I brought a jar as a peace offering,” she admitted. There was a pause. With a groan, Enfys extricated herself from Luke’s arms, pulling her cape on. Luke made a little grumble and rolled over. Jyn refrained from commenting as Enfys trailed after her to the central atrium. Enfys was perfectly liable to turn it right back on her.

As Jyn got the ingredients out from her satchel on the war balloon, Enfys asked, “So, what’s the issue?”

Swallowing her pride, “How did you teach the twins?”

There was another long pause. “You didn’t think this through at all, did you?” Enfys said, covering her mouth with her hand. Jyn glared. “I’m not laughing, I’m not!”

“I hate you,” Jyn said, swatting the date jar away from Enfys’ grip.

“No, you don’t,” Enfys said happily, dipping one finger in the honey jar and licking it. Jyn crouched to light the cookfire. It took a moment for the flame to appear on her fingertips. She frowned, but Enfys continued to speak, refocusing her attention. “Well, for me it was simple – I just followed how I was taught by my mother and aunts and elders. I already had a lesson plan ingrained in me.”

Jyn shook her head, feeling her pulse race, though it had been a decade since Master Jorus had backhanded her to perform better. “That…is not going to work.”

Enfys’ face clouded over. She stood from her perch and began to help Jyn, brushing her hands against hers. “Well, then, start simple. Like how to produce fire. And go from there. Basic punches and blocks, you do that a lot, don’t you?”

“They’re called fire fists.”

“My mistake,” Enfys said, her eyes sparkling with mirth, “Fire fists and fire kicks and fiery-ness and aallll that.”

Jyn bit back a smile, extending the plate with honey-drizzled wheat pancakes. “For her highness, the Queen of Mon Cala.”

Enfys immediately grabbed it, digging in with a moan of delight. “One of the few things from the Fire Nation worth saving,” she said, her mouth full of food.

“What’s the rest?”

“Don’t fish for compliments,” Enfys said easily, making Jyn grin. As Baze and Chirrut came in, Enfys added, “Just remember to be patient.”

“I am a beacon of patience.”

Enfys laughed. “I meant with yourself, Jyn. You’re doing something new and difficult. So be kind to yourself as you figure it out.”

She sighed, resting her head against her best friend’s shoulder. “And yet you won’t share your portion with me?” she asked, fighting down her own rising panic.

“You’re impossible,” Enfys laughed, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Now eat up for your first big lesson, Master Jyn.”

Jyn stretched and popped out her muscles. She, Luke, and Leia stood in a beautiful courtyard of cream and white clay and wood. She imagined it must have been a communal space when Hynestia had still housed Air Nomads. She didn’t like dwelling on that too long. She could still feel…something clinging to the place. Fire child, they whispered, stroking her face and hair, this is what your people did.

She would have preferred pure hatred, but she felt that was not their way. It would have been easier than guilt. Especially when she saw the sadness in Enfys’ eyes.

Jyn focused back on the twins. Both wore expressions of trepidation, Leia in particular throwing her suspicious looks. Jyn tried not to take it too personally. “Have either of you ever firebent before?”

They exchanged a look. “Once,” Luke said, shifting a little, “We… we burnt Cassian by accident.”

Multiple statements immediately became clear in Jyn’s head. She pushed aside her own empathy for Cassian – and her instinctive urge to get angry on his behalf. Cassian held no grudge about it. Patiently, she said, “Most firebenders accidentally burn themselves or others when they’re starting out as children. It’s…normal.

“Alright then, let’s see what fire you can produce,” she said, folding her hands behind her back. Keep patient. Don’t be like Master Jorus. Don’t be what the Air Nomads know you could be. The summer heat touched the scars on her arms.

Exchanging another uneasy glance, the twins sank into a low hot-squat, good form, and punched.

A puff of smoke came out.

“That’s it?” Leia glared. Jyn resisted the very powerful urge to groan. “Let me demonstrate,” she said. Her muscle memory was so honed that Jyn didn’t even need to think. She sank and punched, sleeves billowing.

She produced a tiny gasp of flame.

Leia began clapping. Jyn scowled. “Don’t patronize, you know what it’s supposed to look like,” she grumbled. Jyn punched again. She slid into various forms, again and again. Only wisps of flame. “What in the…”

“Maybe you were never as good as you thought you were,” Leia said, grinning slightly.

“Oh, you’re hilarious,” Jyn snapped, trying in vain to produce more flame.

“Maybe it’s the altitude?” Luke suggested, though he didn’t look convinced. Jyn stared at her hands. Her inner flame felt cold and dull in her chest, despite the sunlight pouring over her skin. Sól, give me power, she thought, but none came.

Her firebending was gone. Somewhere, she could feel Master Jorus laughing.

The group sat around the cookfire, eating and chatting. The summer days were long, Chirrut knew. He could still feel heat despite the dinner hour. Baze had passed him his bowl, their fingers brushing. He smiled, gripping Baze’s fingers momentarily and grounding them both.

He heard Jyn clear her throat to speak. “There’s…a problem. I’ve lost my firebending. Well, not lost…but it’s weaker now and I can’t figure it.”

Chirrut considered as he munched. Bending was inherently spiritual, something that many had now forgotten, preferring to use as a blunt instrument. Jyn had never struck him before as someone who wanted to look within herself.

“Maybe it’s because you changed sides,” Cassian spoke up. Chirrut’s seismic sense could feel Jyn immediately perk up and orient towards him. Oh, young love. “Your firebending used to come from anger and desperation. Now you have none.”

“So, what? We piss Erso off?” Han asked, poking Erso with his sword butt.

Jyn kicked him in the shin. “Cut that out! It’s not an option.”

“What you need is a new source,” Chirrut said. “And by that, I mean an old one. The original. For earthbending, the first earthbenders were the badgermoles. When I was young, I ran away and hid in a cave. A blind child was better off gone.”

He still remembered the pain and fear as he had fled Jedha’s orphanage, stumbling through the crowds of people out into the scorching, shifting ground he had learnt was sand. Finding his way into the Catacombs. Surrounding by the dead, as he imagined he would soon become.

The Spirits had other plans. There had been a great crunch of rock, and a soft, wet snout had nosed him. They had recognized him as one of their own. “The badgermoles are also born blind. I learnt earthbending as an extension of my senses. Earthbending is not a martial art – it is a way of interacting and moving through the world, and that is the form I taught Luke and Leia.”

The wonder he had felt as he began to feel the world expanding outwards beneath his palms and feet. The grubs and creatures that lurked beneath the desert sand. The hardy plants that nourished from the earth. The secret oases. The possibilities that had exploded to him. His only regret was that it was no help to non-benders and other benders, but Chirrut was nothing if not stubborn. He had tried to help them too, as a Guardian of the Whills.

“Firebending isn’t like that,” Jyn said quietly, standing up and pacing.

“But surely you must know who the original firebenders were,” Enfys said, “I learnt from my Tribe, but the first airbenders were the sky bison. That’s influenced our bending to use gliders to fly, to our culture!”

Jyn walked over to Chirrut. He felt the same turmoil of his childhood self, in her. “It won’t work. The first firebenders were the dragons, and they’re extinct. There’s no other way.”

Baze squeezed Jyn’s hand. “There is always another way.”

Jyn was silent for a moment. When she spoke, he felt the vibrations. There is something she is concealing. “We’re not far from the island of Dathomir. The witches of Dathomir were said to be the first to learn firebending from the Dragons. They were killed off thousands of years ago. You still hear stories, but there’s no proof their society still exists. We might find something. Otherwise…”

“Sometimes the shadows of the past can be felt by the present,” Chirrut said. Several of the group shifted uncomfortably.

“We don’t have much of a choice,” Luke said, “Han, can we borrow the Falcon?”

keep reading

[ariainstars]

Love and War: Politics and Spirituality in Star Wars

As I followed the Star Wars saga closely last year, I couldn’t help noticing that its central theme is not Good against Evil, but Love against War.

More precisely, it seems like a long parable about a mind at war: the galaxy far, far away keeps struggling with different powers which, until now, never were balanced by a common ideology. 

  The Jedi: We Have No Personal Agenda (…do we?)

As we get to know the Jedi in the prequels, we can’t be but disappointed. The supposed keepers of peace, guardians of the Force, seem a bunch of elderly, stuck-up guys who are wary of anything coming from the outside. Their meetings take place in a place which even looks like an ivory tower.

We witness the first conflict in the saga in The Phantom Menace, which absurdly is kicked off by two weird-looking guys who seem interested in nothing but their economic power.

The irony is that in their own way, the Jedi do not seem more open-minded than them; though not interested in wealth, they do only think of themselves - of the status their rank as Jedi gives them. They are so convinced of being the “good guys” that they will not lift a finger to end a raging conflict, and they don’t care what will become of a weirdly powerful nine-year-old boy who just lost his only living relative, his past and the only home he ever knew. 

It is Padmé, who is not a Jedi and has no power in the Force, who takes matters in their own hands, to the point where she falls on her knees before the Gungans asking them for their assistance..

I have repeatedly heard the Star Wars prequels being criticized due to the seeming lack of agenda of the protagonists. Which is right - they basically haven’t. The only agenda everybody seems to have is to keep things the way they are so that their personal, comfortable situation won’t change. 

But the truth is that they are not aware of the power pulling at them: there is someone who is the mastermind behind all that happens during Anakin’s youth, and we can assume that he was at work even before the boy stepped onto the stage. 

It is Senator Palpatine who convinces the Queen of Naboo to plead for a vote of no confidence against Chancellor Valorum, which in the end leaves Palpatine himself in charge. It is he, again, who makes JarJar convince the Senate to give him emergency powers due to the surge of the Separatists.

Palpatine is repeatedly shown as being Evil incarnate. Absolute power is his ultimate goal. For him, it is all or nothing. There is nothing human about him, ever, as good as he is as posing as a mellifluous politician who only has the best ends in mind.

And on top of it, Palpatine makes it appear as if he only has the purest motives, leaving the dirty work to others: Anakin marches into the Jedi temple killing everyone…

…Obi-Wan cripples Anakin mercilessly, which gives Palpatine the chance to strap him into the armor and mask that he will hence need in order to survive at all.

  The End of Everything We Loved

The name “Devil” means “separator”. Palpatine’s influence leads to separate all people who ought to belong together: friends…

 …husband and wife… 

…brothers and sisters. When they first meet, Luke and Leia don’t realize for a long time that they are, actually, siblings.

Vader doesn’t recognize his own daughter…

…nor his son: during the trench run we hear him say “The Force is strong with that one.”

  The Jedi’s failure

Enter Anakin, someone with huge personal agendas. Anakin has known slavery, the pain of separation from his mother, the helplessness having to watch her die, the fear of losing wife and unborn child in a similar way.

Does that make him an evil person? We see Anakin struggle against his fears and his violence for years. His deepest impulse is to use his enormous strength in order to protect others, but he isn’t allowed to. He can only be active if the Jedi order him to, which leads among other things to the absurd situation of having to save Palpatine, i.e. evil incarnate, risking his own and his master Obi-Wan’s life; while he was supposed to toughen it out when his own mother, a woman who probably never harmed anyone in her life, was tortured to death. 

Instinctively, Anakin’s heart always told him who needed his help. But this generosity and protectiveness never was appreciated by the Jedi, to whom “the Code” came first of all.

But what is the Jedi code, looking at it, if not a strategy to detach themselves from the world?

No families of their own.

No possessions.

No close attachments.

How is anyone supposed to still see if someone is in pain, when he was trained from early childhood on to live in a metaphorical ivory tower? 

Though not actually evil-minded (they assuredly do not want power or promote terror), the Jedi are in constant denial of the truth around them. They witness Palpatine’s ascent over and over and never realize that the most powerful Sith Lord of all is sitting a few meters away from them. 

Because to the Jedi, “what can’t be doesn’t exist”. Palpatine may be a Sith, but officially, belongs to the Jedi. Count Dooku even warns Obi-Wan; the Jedi proves his denial again with his words “Impossible. The Jedi would have sensed it.” 

So, not wanting it but also not knowing what they were doing, the Jedi enhance the conflict. And the Skywalker family, whose founder had been fathered by the Force itself, is torn and kept apart from both Jedi and Sith. 

Now we could argue: who would want to cooperate with the Sith, to have them as part of a balance, if they are evil and never do any good? 

Do they, and do the Jedi only do good and virtuous deeds? 

Obi-Wan told Luke an outright lie pretending that Vader had been Anakin’s killer; convinced that it could end only if the son killed the father.

The supposedly evil Lord Vader is the one who finally tells the truth: he proclaims to be Luke’s father, which also unveils his old master’s lie. Luke is traumatized because the truth is the opposite of what he believed. Until this very moment he was in denial, convinced that he was dealing with his father’s killer; Vader had literally to cut off his son’s hand in order to create a dramatic pause which finally allowed him to say what he wanted to: the truth.

To believe that a deed like patricide could be a positive thing only enhances the absurdity of the situation and the depth of the Jedi’s denial. As Luke confronts Obi-Wan with his manipulation, the Jedi still does not take responsibility, beyond his grave.

The Mistake: Making Things About Oneself

So, we have seen that Evil is not always wrong and Good not always right. They are strangely connected by one common, capital fault: making things about themselves.

But we repeatedly meet people who are mature enough not to make things about themselves: Padmé, Shmi, Senator Organa, (dare I say it? even JarJar), Owen and Beru.

Luke’s meeting with Vader on Bespine is pivotal because confronted with the words “You are not a Jedi yet” Luke draws his weapon first, proving Vader right. He hates the man in whom he still sees his father’s killer. It is this hatred which could have pushed him to the Dark Side. Though unknowingly and acting out of possessiveness, Vader pushed his son away from the Dark Side by saying the truth and thus crushing Luke’s hatred for him.

Much later, as he tries to save his friends, we see that Luke has learned his lesson: he tries to convince Jabba diplomatically and draws his weapon only at the last moment.

Terrified that Vader and Palpatine might be after his sister, Luke lashes out one last time. Only when he sees his father’s robotic hand he realizes the trap he was about to fall into.

Forgiveness and love bring Vader down. Compassion has won. Peace ensues, the family is united.

But many years later, we see Luke fail making things about himself again: he fears the danger his nephew could become for everything he loves.

His moment of panic pushes his nephew to the dark side. As a long-term consequence, the young man will be the murderer of the man who used to be Luke’s best friend.

Ben adopts another name and joins Snoke; war flares up and pushes itself between the members of the Skywalker family again.

Han and Leia meet after a period of separation, each bemoaning the loss of their son.

Luke, guilt-stricken, has retired to a lonely island, away from everybody.

Only shortly before his death, Luke tries to reconnect: with his sister, his brother-in-law (symbolically through the dice), the droids, his nephew. The Skywalker family is getting closer again, hinting at a future peace.

  Conclusions

The absurd situation of this generation is that at the opposite ends of the conflict are two persons who despite their outward differences couldn’t be more alike. Kylo and Rey both are lost children, desperately searching for belonging and purpose. In the brief moment of their alliance against Snoke we can see that working together, Dark and Light side are indeed invincible.

So, must the Light Side win again in order to ensure peace? 

The Dark Side is the human Id, which is all about oneself. Its advantage is that being straightforward, the Id can’t lie. Anakin / Vader always told the truth, as painful as it was.

The Id is aware of the fact that it needs its other half to be balanced. Hence, the “bad guys” always struggle to dominate, possess and at worst kill the “good guys”. We constantly see a powerful Dark Side user (Vader, Kylo) being at his strongest while he is chasing his Light Side counterpart (Luke, Rey). 

The Light Side is the Super-Ego, the conscience, which at its extreme might push a person to give up his life for someone else. The disadvantage is its tendency to deny that it needs its other half also; to believe to be solely in the right. The Jedi (including Luke, the last and the strongest of them) often overlook vital truths: none are so blind as those who will not see.

Both Luke and Rey needed their Dark Side counterparts to confront them with the truth (“I am your father”, “Your parents are dead… filthy junk traders who sold you for drinking money”). As much as it hurts them, both need to know these truths because their false pretensions held them back from being who they truly were. 

That is why “balance” is so vitally important and the only thing that can save the day and make lasting peace. Because no one can pretend that he lives solely for others (the Jedi), and no one can exist long living only by himself and for himself (the Sith). Only acknowledging one another’s positive sides and learning to cooperate, the Force users can make lasting peace in the galaxy possible. Only when a common ground is found at last, the galaxy can finally be free of the Old Republic’s stagnation, the Empire’s tyranny and the turmoil of the Rebellion. 

Peace, at last, to people of good will.

[singswan-springswan]

Guys wait wait so I’ve been thinking. You know the Chosen One prophecy? How this one person with no biological dad would bring ultimate balance to the Force? Well we all know it was Anakin Skywalker, right? The whole “there was no father” “literally conceived by the midi-chlorians” thing was kind of a dead giveaway. So if Anakin is the chosen one, him killing Palpatine and then himself dying was supposed to make the siths go extinct and restore balance to the Force. At least, that’s what all the Jedi seemed to think. It’s one of the last things Obi-wan says to him on Mustafar: “They said that you would destroy the Sith, not join them!”.

ONLY THAT’S NOT WHAT THE PROPHECY SAYS. If we are to go word-for-word, nowhere in the prophecy are the terms “Sith” or “Jedi” ever mentioned. Only “ultimate balance”, and that is left to the interpretation of the reader. Now, we know how the Jedi would interpret “ultimate balance”. They clearly meant for it to establish the complete end of the Sith, and all aspects of the Dark Side in the galaxy. But then would that really be balanced? The entire galaxy on the side of light? Now, that’s kind of a tricky question, so let’s clear a few things up.

The Jedi have established concepts of the Force to fit their ideology, separating it into two distinct personalities: the Light, and the Dark. But I don’t think they did this because the Light or the Dark was exclusively good or bad. Their interpretations of the Light side are some of the most strict understandings of the mind and its nature. Order, peace, selflessness, rational thinking, detachment, discipline, humility. Some of these things are good, and all of them are easy to comprehend from a pragmatic point of view. Each aspect of the Jedi code is designed to translate simple, reasonable parts of the Force into something that people can embody by dedication and choice, and subsequently use to harness power. On the opposite end of the spectrum, you have “Dark” qualities, or concepts that are harder to wrap your mind around. Passion, fear, anger, worry, vengeance, sadness, pain, and any kind of strong emotion. Are these things bad? In their own time, yes. But can they also be good? Absolutely! Passion for your work, fear of something that can harm, anger at injustice. These feelings are misused more often than not, however, and so have become associated with bad character and evil deeds. But if you really want to break down the difference between “Dark” qualities versus those of the “Light”, the former are simply more difficult to rationalize. Think pathos versus logos.

I’m pretty sure this is the reason the Jedi began discriminating against certain qualities and their “Dark” nature. It was hard to reason, and hard to understand, so they categorized them with darkness, as something obscure and unknown. In doing so, they created an imbalance in the Force, focusing only on half of the aspects of the mind, and nurturing only one half of a character, teaching that their emotional, unpredictable side was evil and needed to be subdued. They taught that anything causing emotion, such as relationships or victories and failures must be regulated closely, or completely purged from one’s life. They forbid strong feeling of any kind. If a young Jedi had any “negative” emotions, such as anger or fear, they were trained to stamp it out instead of acknowledging the cause and dealing with their problems. I don’t know about you, but I find that pretty toxic. To take away emotion is to deprive a person of part of their nature. It’s in our nature to react and respond to things with intensity. We’re physiologically, biologically, and mentally designed this way. Instead of denying this aspect of what it means to be a person, it’s far healthier to learn to guide feelings and emotions. They aren’t something we can switch on and off; they’re assets of the mind, and they need to be treated as an equally valid resource as the ability to puzzle and analyze.

I’m not saying that emotions should dictate all of our actions and thoughts. I’m not saying that just because you feel something, it’s right. What I mean, is that instead of suppressing this key part of a person like the Jedi did, it should be trained and carefully pruned so that it can inform and help process, as it was meant to.

Okay, sorry for the long rant. Now that we have that out of the way, can it really be said that “ultimate balance” is the destruction of the “Dark” side and absolute reign of the “Light”? I say no. I think balance comes when the purest aspects of both sides come together in a way that seeks to eliminate real evil, and bring true good through harmony in the Force. That being the case, does this mean that Anakin fulfilled the prophecy when he chucked Sheev down a reactor shaft and electrocuted himself to death? Again... I don’t quite think so.

Obviously Anakin died, bringing about the end of the Sith in his time, but the Jedi had also suffered a heavy blow when Order 66 happened, and all their teachings and history became extinct (sort of. Yoda and Obi-wan didn’t exactly train Luke in the strict ways of the Jedi. They adhered more to the teachings of the Light than anything). So even though Luke then tried to bring up a new generation of Force-sensitive children in the ways of the old order, it didn’t quite work out. Why? Without compounded years of the Jedi’s indoctrination, their beliefs and teachings fell flat. Because you can’t deny yourself the need to feel, and to be felt. It’s who you are. Suppressing half of your brain’s function doesn’t work.

This in particular was something I really appreciated about the sequel trilogy. Over the course of the three movies, Rey learns that not everything is black and white. That both sides have taken something good and twisted it to their own devise. We as an audience learn that both things cannot be ignored as part of our being, and that we need to acknowledge both in a healthy, proper way. What if the struggle that Vader experiences in the original trilogy was his indirect expression of the dissatisfaction he’d experienced on both sides? He hated the Jedi for taking away his right to love, but being a Sith didn’t fill the void in his heart, even for all the unlimited power he had. Luke can recognize it easily enough, but the only way he knows how to put these things into words is by using the terms he’s been taught by dead Jedi masters. Make no mistake, I love Yoda and Obi-wan, but they pass on flawed concepts that still discriminate against feeling of any kind. Didn’t they tell Luke not to go to Cloud City even if it meant saving his friends—to let go of the people he loved?

It all eventually comes to a mount with Rey, actually, who seems to be the first to realize that she can get the best of both worlds without hurting herself or anyone else. Literally in her first official battle with Kylo-Ren, she reaches out to the Force with her emotions, and that’s how she wins. But not with anger, or pain, like her opponent does. She uses fierce loyalty, and countless different kinds of love. Rey builds off the mentorship of her mother-in-law and uncle to get a foundational understanding of what it means to be connected to the Force, but then through her own adventures and findings, she learns the rest on her own. It helps that she has good morals. And that her character arc is almost a direct parallel to Luke and Anakin’s. Somehow, she makes it work, and finally, eventually, when everything comes full circle and Rey accepts the last piece of who she is—her name—there is finally balance. Not just within her. Throughout the force.

Finally, the last of the twisted teachings, cults, and practices have been extinguished, and the Force is simply the Force again. It isn’t Light or Dark, it just is. Rey just happens to connect to it—that’s all. And this, I think, is where the prophecy is finally fulfilled. It’s a little strange, you say, because Anakin wasn’t the one in Rey’s position, but it’s understandable that it took so long, because the Sith and the Jedi and everything in between had lasted for thousands of years. And Anakin did have a cornerstone role. He was the first to really challenge the concept of Light versus Dark. He was the first to take aspects of both and use them for good. And of course, he started a family that literally shook the foundations of the galaxy and eventually led to Rey (not to mention he was a Force ghost for the entirety of the sequel series, able to interact with the physical world as well, and no doubt being able to influence the senses and experiences of some more direct characters).

Anyway, wow. That was a really long rant. Thanks for reading; I’m sorry if I bored you. I just really needed to process a bit myself lol. I mean I complain about writing papers for school but—anyway. So yep! That’s my breakdown of thoughts on the prophecy, and Anakin’s involvement and all that. I hope you enjoyed, and once again thank you for coming to my TedTalk *insert lenny face*

[reynesofcastamere]

Splintered Perspective [β]

(A/N: For reference, any fics I write that aren’t related to my main series will be marked with [ β ] in the title. I may just have to make a masterpost to organize these at some point. Anyway,the prompt for this was: ‘How Rex or some other person from Ahsoka’s past would react to her being enemies with benefits or in a relationship with Maul.’ I decided to go with multiple POVs for the fun of it. And so I didn’t break myself with The Sad. Poor Rex T_T. Perspectives are not in chronological order. Mentions of past Ahsoka/Barriss. Warnings for dehumanization, mentions of torture, death, violence, some ableism and possible misogyny.(Maybe? Your mileage may vary.) Unbeta’d.  ) Being one with the Force is...not exactly what she had been taught to expect. Barriss Offee is part of everything, all at once. Those in the Light, living and dead, she is all of them, and yet still herself, in a manner of speaking . Time is no longer such a rigid concept, nor is there any particular sense of urgency. What has happened was meant to be, and the future...Is forever shifting, ripples overlapping in a still pool. Which is why it comes as such a surprise when she can feel Master Plo’s disapproval like a storm on the edge of breaking. At first, she cannot determine what has woken his ire, but slowly the images come into focus. Ahsoka.

Barriss no longer possesses a heart, and yet she cannot deny the lance of bittersweet pain through her chest. There is relief that her friend is still alive, but also regret and something bordering on envy. A feeling that only sharpens when she notices the tattooed Zabrak that Ahsoka currently has pinned down. Wait. She knows him. Not personally, but...He is a Sith, a murderer, a monster. Why is Ahsoka-brash, kind, clever person that she is- smiling at him?  It is possible that she is misinterpreting this. Both of them appear rather bruised and a touch bloody, and the lack of lightsabres doesn’t mean-She misses the words exchanged between the pair of them, but...The kiss is unmistakeably passionate, bordering on obscene as the Force crackles around them. Somehow, this is not the worst of it. When they part for air, there is a...look, shared between their eyes, and Barriss experiences true dread. Long ago, she and Ahsoka had-been close. Intimately so. As much as anyone could be, following the Order’s mandate that attachment was forbidden. She’d harboured dreams then, of maybe and one day...But no. Too much had happened, and her rosy illusions had been cruelly shattered. Somehow, watching this unfold hurts worse. Because there is something genuine beneath the crude physical attraction on display. Master Plo does not say a word, but his righteous indignation is so strong that it is a miracle he does not physically manifest in front of them.

Her dearest companion does not belong in the Dark, with this...creature trapping her in his coils, dripping venom into her thoughts. Barriss can only hope Ahsoka will extricate herself before it is too late.

=====

The failed apprentice. A wretched vermin who simply refuses to die. Not for much longer. Darth Vader’s gaze narrows as he reviews the incident reports. A decade of nothing but the occasional annoyance and whispers from the dregs of the galaxy, and only now does Maul scurry out from beneath whatever rock he has been sheltering under. Why? There is no grand plan, no great advantage in breaking into an Imperial prison. Especially one that contains such...unimportant occupants. Then again...The swathe of carnage and destruction left behind had been almost a direct path between the Dathomirian’s entry point and the interrogation chambers. Not a calculated assault, but an act of rage and desperation. Vader had felt it at the time, how the Dark Side had howled and torn at itself like a half-crazed beast. And then there was the fate of the interrogator: Hands cut off, abdominal perforation, shattered jaw,and eyes torn from their sockets. He had suffered a great deal, however briefly. As for the prisoner with him- Records list a female Togruta, mid-to-late twenties, with blue eyes and orange skin. Possibly Force sensitive, but difficult to determine due to her physical state upon capture. The prisoner hadn’t been in possession of anything resembling lightsabres, but had been carrying a wealth of assorted small armaments. It couldn’t be. She died back when...We found her sabres among the graves. Anakin Skywalker is long dead, but sometimes his ghost is loud enough to be heard over the multitudes that inhabit Vader’s hulking, monstrous shell.

Graves required someone to dig them first. Which meant that either some unknown individuals had come along and taken pity on a multitude of strangers...Or that the survivours had done the work themselves. Yet, if Ahsoka Tano lives, and was temporarily imprisoned, it still does not explain the identity or methods of her unlikely rescuer. She was sent to capture him on Mandalore, why would Snips-? Why did she leave us? We needed her when Padme- The room around him warps and buckles in a single, furious moment of clarity. She chose that...animal. That thing, Oh, but she’d been richly rewarded, hadn’t she? One only had to look at the risks her...protector had taken just to secure her freedom. Approval and utter disgust war within him as he rises. So be it. Sentiment has already destroyed them, and it will be his pleasure to finish a task that should have been resolved long ago. Traitors to the Empire must all be purged.

===== Rex should probably be angry. Ahsoka is certainly looking at him like a shiny expecting a stern lecture for breaking regs. Instead he just feels...tired. He can’t be mad at her, not really. Maybe if he’d stuck around longer or managed to make contact more often, this wouldn’t have happened. Or maybe it would have. Maker knows his trio of Jedi could never stay out of trouble for long, and that war makes for strange alliances and even stranger...pairings.  Still, he has to ask, because he knows her, knows the depths of love and compassion that make her who she is, beneath the layers of soldier and spy.

“Is it serious?” Ahsoka fidgets with her lekku a bit. “I don’t know.” A long pause as she inhales. “It keeps happening, and...I want to murder him half the time, Rex. The problem is that he likes it.” The expression on her face perfectly sums up her opinion on that little tidbit of info. He might have laughed, under different circumstances. Instead, he takes her hands in his. “We’ve known each other for a long time. I might not understand why you’re doing this, or how it works-” He absolutely does not need to know the mechanics, as there are not enough drugs or alcohol in the galaxy to purge the associated mental images. “-but I trust your judgement. And your ability to slice his horns off and hang him from his ears over a pit of rathtars if he pushes you too far.” Rex grins, silently offering to be her backup should that ever happen. Kind of a surprise it hasn’t already, since Maul never karking shuts up and Ahsoka’s patience has a set limit for windbags. Her eyes are wet when she hugs him tightly. “You’ll be the first person I call, Captain. And I’m sorry.” He knows she’s not just apologizing for this, not with their history. “I’m sorry too, Commander.” Rex murmurs, hugging her back. They can stay like this for a while longer. Her superiors are just going to have to wait. He might not be such a ‘good’ soldier anymore, but he knows damned well how to be a good friend. And that’s what they both need, more than anything. People that will survive the disaster long enough to see it end, and come out smiling.

=====

“When I warned that you might be tempted by the Dark Side, I did not expect it to be quite so literal.”

“Master.” “Then again, I suppose there is a certain appeal. Ventress was certainly a...passionate opponent. Lovely sense of humour, too. I suppose you don’t get much of that with your-No, I suppose you are the better half in this equation.” “Master Kenobi.” “Come now, we haven’t spoken in ages, surely you can indulge your grand-master’s curiousity.” “You did not break comm silence after years of letting everyone think you were dead just to call me about my sex life.” “Well, no, but it is an unexpected bonus. How does that work, exactly?” “It sounds like you’re angling for a demonstration.” “Oh Maker, no. I’m not that eager to find out.” “Good, because I don’t particularly feel like dealing with him if he decides to drop everything just to hunt you down.” “Ah. He’s...still upset about that, is he?” “You have no idea.” “Well then. To business. And Ahsoka?” “Yes, Master?” “It is good to hear your voice again. Do take care of yourselves.” “You too, Master Kenobi. And don’t worry, we’ll be fine.”

“One last question: When should I expect great-grand-padawans?”

“OBI-WAN!!!!” (A/N: Yes, I had to end with levity. Especially considering the characters involved. To clarify, Anakin isn’t upset because he has any sort of romantic inclination towards Ahsoka. It’s general Darksider possessiveness/jealousy mixed in with a lot of anger and some guilt. Looking after Ahsoka’s wellbeing was ‘his’ job, so far as he’s concerned. And now it’s apparently been usurped by That One Asshole. Also, if anyone’s going to recognize that level of...obsessive regard, it’s gonna be the OG Skywalker Drama King. Many thanks to the anonymous person who requested this, both for the prompt and your compliments. Cheers!) 

[legobiwan]

Thrawn: Alliances Chapter 8.8-12.8

It only registered with me yesterday that when Vader refers to “The Jedi,” he’s referring to himself as Anakin Skywalker. Nice bit of depersonalization there, Anakin. 

Okay, but when Vader starts going off on how “The Jedi” (himself) was distrusted, his opinions not valued, that he was always an outsider... I mean, yes, of course, he’s referring to the Order, but more specifically, he has to be referring to Obi-wan and that just breaks my damn heart. 

Anakin’s “plan” to infiltrate the Separatist base - is to do a costume change and then fake an attack by another Jedi? Hahahahaha! Also, who wants to take bets this is where Thrawn’s weird cosplay fetish started - the one we saw utilized so hilariously with Eli Vanto in the previous Thrawn installment. Because I would take that bet. 

But Thrawn’s breakdown of the Jedi uniform was actually fascinating - how all those twirling fabrics not only give range of motion, but distract the energy. Maybe there is something to the dramatic disrobe, after all, but I’m more inclined to believe the Dooku-Qui-gon-Obi-wan lineage is just prone to drama.

Speaking of Serenno...I’m highly intrigued by the fact this operation is run by Serennians. It makes some sense, if one takes Jedi Lost into account, in that Serenno was an active mining planet and Dooku needed to find a way for the sentients to be gainfully employed after his father and brother basically tied all labor to droids. Also interesting is the presence of a distinct Serenno accent and the fact that the cloaks are such a feature of the nobility. I must needs remember this for the future. 

Okay, so Thrawn is obviously onto the relationship between Padmé and Anakin, but what killed me was the line when Anakin was going on about how he and Padmé had bonded over difficult times, like when friends were lost - and then he references the death of Qui-gon fucking Jinn!!! Which - I find fascinating given the fact Anakin is right now with another being who is kinda/kinda not acting as a mentor in a way that somehow Anakin finds palatable compared to the Jedi - Obi-wan, specifically. As I said before, I think Anakin was going to rebel against anyone but Obi-wan really got put in a bad position. And now Anakin is reminiscing about the man who was supposed to train him, not having known the mountain of hypocrisy and frustration that was the Jedi Knight Qui-gon Jinn and you have to think Anakin kind of hero-worshipped the guy in absentia and just how much that had to have killed Obi-wan, for about twelve different reasons. 

Getting back to the Vader/Thrawn episodes, Vader really is a one-note samba - “I will put on hand on my lightsaber threateningly or I will think about choking somebody.” It’s just a barrage of constant intimidation and how insecure was Anakin that this was the only way he felt he could establish his dominance? I mean, Anakin’s not dumb, he was a good strategist, but that all gets pushed to the side as he was crammed into this role as “the muscle” and “the enforcer” for Sidious. (Which I imagine is exactly what Sheev wanted - no thinking means no rebellion.) 

But you have to love Thrawn giving no fucks. What a badass.

Let’s bop over to Padmé for a moment. She starts this whole charade saying her “Uncle Anakin” is going to come with some ransom money and in the space of - what - a few days and one conversation she’s suddenly trying to stoke a rebellion? First of all, this is Leia’s mother, without a doubt and secondly, she and Anakin really do deserve each other. My gods. 

But I found the constant, “Anakin is coming to save me,” to be a little...I don’t know? Is this the part of their relationship where they’re getting a bit too co-dependent? A thought. 

Padmé recognizing Anakin’s “audacious” style of fighting was hilarious. An in-character.

Seems like much of this section is a lot more about Anakin and Padmé than Thrawn, although there is that mystery with the Grissks to be solved. We’ll see how this plays out...

[solerey]

Some initial TROS thoughts, unpolished and rambling. Feel free to come chatter.

So...”Rey Palpatine” is kind of stupid, but also kind of the best option that they had available to them short of just...doing to TLJ the same thing that TLJ did to TFA and just kicking it apart and tossing the pieces out the window. And I guess JJ and the other folks working on this movie weren’t that level of asshole, okay.

How the hell does Poe being a spice smuggler fit his backstory? Was it a Resistance mission and he didn’t want to spill those beans in front of everybody mid-mission? Because seriously, how the hell is that supposed to fit even time-wise into the history we’ve been given, let alone personality-wise? Was JJ just trying real hard to make Poe “this movie’s Han” or something? Because I hate to break it to him but Poe is the new trio’s Leia and he’s the one who established that fact so he really should have remembered it okay. I mean...at least we do have the canon of Han Solo being a spice smuggler, so we can kind of say it’s not as bad of a Bad Racist Stereotype as it would be to pull the equivalent shit in our world...but at the same time, smuggling space under the Empire is rather different from smuggling spice under the New Republic, which is not a horrible totalitarian government...and for that matter, Poe had nice loving parents and a good childhood, unlike Han, so how the hell did he even end up starting that in the first place? It must have been some kind of undercover mission. It must have. Nothing else makes sense.

OH GODS THAT KISS ASJLK:SGOIWEUGHUAKBN:KNSFN WHYYYYY. I legit let out a noise of involuntary disgust and horror that was some kind of scream-turned-into-a-gurgle that I really, really wish I could duplicate but I don’t even know how I got my throat to issue that sound omg. Made half the theater giggle though whoops. Thank every power in the ‘verse that he died then, at least; if Kylo Ren had not only gotten a “redemption arc” but also lived I don’t know that I could have stomached it...

P.S. “I realized that I’ve been a complete monster and have murdered tons and tons of people for bad reasons and now I feel bad about it, so I’m going to go kill some of my old allies now and then give my lifeforce to someone who’s actually a Good Person so they can survive in my place and improve the galaxy in ways that my shitty whiny evil ass never could” is not the kind of “redemption arc“ that actually turns someone into a good person. Just like with Darth Vader, none of the horrible deeds that Kylo Ren did were erased by the fact that he had a last-minute epiphany and actually killed a few of the right people at the end. He is still a villain -- still a mass-murdering monster. He just managed to do one right thing before he died. He is not Zuko. But gosh, am I looking forward to watching the fandom elevate him to Character Sainthood for that. What is it with people and their inability to enjoy a villain without painting him as some Innocent Woobie? In my day, we could look at our Magnetos and our Doctor Dooms and say “oh yes he’s such an interesting character, I love reading about him, definitely a favorite!” without also convincing ourselves that he was a Good Person who Never Did Anything Wrong Ever...I say, grumbling, from my rocker on the porch of The Fandom Elders.

He’s worse than Kyp Duron and tbh I think Kyp Duron should have gone to jail.

Anyway...I kind of hated the Han scene? And not just because it was part of the “absolve Kylo Ren’s horrific crimes” subplot, but because it just didn’t make sense.

SPEAKING OF...what the hell was up with the “we can teleport objects across massive distances with the Force” nonsense? And people were upset that Leia used the Force to pull herself through vacuum okaaaaay...

Oh Leia. Oh Carrie. At least we got something. Thank you. Thank you to everyone who gave us that; to everyone who salvaged that. Thank you.

Also I really really wish that someone writing for the New Canon would go back to watch the first movie and figure out how hyperspace works. Ughhhh...

Not a lot of Rose in this movie, alas -- I guess she was “the Lando” of the films, huh? Shows up in the second movie and is awesome (really the only good thing to come out of TLJ wasn’t she?) but then gets pulled back to supporting-character role in the third... Hopefully the new expanded universe will do a better job of keeping her around and engaged in the further stories than the original EU did with Lando!

Even less Connix, which is sad. I wonder if it was hard for her, coming back to Star Wars without her mom? Oh Carrie. My princess eternal.

What was the point of the new droid? Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t annoyed by it or anything -- I just didn’t get what he was actually there for? Whatever.

THANK THE FUCKING FORCE THEY DIDN’T KILL CHEWBACCA. I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO EVAPORATE RIGHT OUT OF MY SEAT WHEN THAT SHIP BLEW UP.

So I’m guessing “Junior” is a baby Ackbar, right? Too bad they didn’t go with Jesmin.

WEDGE. WEDGE. WEDGE. WEDGE ANTILLES!!!!

Thank the Force they didn’t kill Wedge, either. (They didn’t, right? I mean, I was watching, but things were kind of chaotic, and I only found out that they’d killed Ackbar in TLJ because they fucking said it afterward, since there had been nothing to indicate he was there before that...but they wouldn’t kill The Survivor, RIGHT?)

Oh man it was so nice to see Lando. I kind of wish he’d been in it more, but at the same time, the bits he was in were so perfect. I hope we get a book about him helping Jannah and the other former stormtroopers tracing their origins.

So real disappointing that we didn’t get to see Finn inspiring any stormtroopers to defect, huh? When they got surrounded on the Star Destroyer, I was so hoping that the stormies were going to suddenly recognize him and lower their blasters...SIGH.

Still, at least Finn is going to be Rey’s first New Jedi Student now, right? Right?

I did really like the group of defecting stormtroopers in general, though. That was excellent. They make me want to actually read a New Canon book although it’s a shame Aaron Allston isn’t here to write one about them because his style would be a kickass fit for that story, wouldn’t it? Whoever they get, I hope someone writes it.

I’m still torn on whether or not I like that it was Luke who lifted the X-Wing out. I do know that I don’t like the Force Ghosts Can Interact Tangibly With The World idea.

JEDISTORMPILOT hug at the end? HELL YES. That is the only ship I want to see in this movie. Okay no that’s a lie I would have also been delighted with Finn/Poe and happy with Finn/Rey but since they didn’t want to give us anything more than bait-and-switch bullshit in this trilogy, I will just sit back and be thrilled by the lack of (likely heteronormative) Mono Ship Resolution and enjoy the fact that the closest we come to actual canon is this charming polyship. Even though all these of these characters deserved BETTER than the weird quasi-love triangle/whatever the fuck was going on there...and we’re not talking about the kiss again ever yuck.

I really wish they hadn’t opened Zorii Bliss’s helmet. UGH.

Speaking of: disappointed that Phasma didn’t come back again lol. Could have gotten her ass kicked again by Finn...only better this time, like the deleted version.

Also why are all of the main characters humans? Come on man...the Resistance is not the Empire (or the First Order, or Final Order, or whatever they’re calling themselves; it’s just a fresh coat of paint on the same old xenophobia). There should be way more non-humans in the ensemble scenes...and a few more aliens as full characters. Someday we’re going to get someone who actually understands the world building of this universe to write a SW movie... You couldn’t even paint Zorii Bliss a different color? Ugh. All we really got was Chewie and a few background extras/jokes/one-liners...and Chewie was pretty underutilized too, imo.

SPEAKING OF, WHY WASN’T THIS MOVIE DEDICATED TO PETER MAYHEW?

[fialleril]

redcap3 replied to your post “Following this post (months later because this got buried in my drafts...”

...is it crazy I kinda want to see post-Vader Anakin being set up for a blind date?

The whole thing is Han’s idea.

When he first suggests it to Leia, he says he wants to do something nice for the old man, which as cover stories go is frankly terrible. Leia only raises an unimpressed eyebrow.  It’s such a bad excuse it doesn’t even deserve a response.

Finally Han gives it up and admits that, okay, fine, he just can’t stand watching Rustbucket get flirted at every time they’re all dragged to some gala or top brass event. Anakin’s clueless act is just embarrassing, and worse, Chewie thinks it’s funny, that traitor.

Leia just goes on looking at him. Luke, though, says, “Uh, Han, I don’t think it’s an act.”

Han stares at him. “Oh come on, kid. No one is that clueless.” Then he stops to consider this, and who he’s talking to. Luke is a very friendly person, and very bad at recognizing the line between friendly and flirting. Half the Rebellion wants to date him and as near as Han can tell, he genuinely has no idea. But still... “Okay, fine, maybe some people are. But your old man was married. He managed to produce the two of you somehow. So he can’t be completely unaware of how these things go.”

Leia snickers at him. Han has the sinking feeling she knows something he doesn’t, but he knows better than to ask when she gets that look in her eye.

So he decides he’s gonna set Anakin up on a date, and Leia can laugh all she wants. He’ll be the one laughing when it works.

His first attempt is a guy named Rav who used to work maintenance in one of the hangars on Home One. These days he’s planetside on Coruscant. Nice guy, a few years older than Anakin, green eyes, a great ass. Han arranges the date at a bar so chill he frankly hates the place himself, but it seems like the kind of scene an older couple might enjoy. (Anakin’s only thirteen years older than you, a little voice in the back of his head says, but he ignores that. It’s too weird to let himself think about.) He tells Anakin that Rav wants to meet up and talk shuttle maintenance, which is such a damn obvious innuendo that he barely manages to restrain a cringe as he says it.

But hey, it works, and Anakin’s off to meet with Rav and Han congratulates himself on a job well done. Leia’s still smirking, but that’s just because she hasn’t yet learned what a great matchmaker he is.

Anakin swings back by Leia’s apartment about three hours later, early enough that Luke’s still there and Han is just a little worried. But it was only a first date, so...that doesn’t have to be bad, does it?

“How’d it go, Rustbucket?” he says.

Anakin shrugs easily and heads for the kitchen to start a pot of tzai. “Not bad. Rav’s got some great ideas for B- and Y-wing class fighters, but his views on TIEs are woefully misinformed.” He grumbles something under his breath. “I understand that there’s a need to bad mouth the enemy fighters in front of the troops, but you don’t need to buy into your own propaganda.”

Han blinks a little. Luke and Leia are snickering behind their hands, and for once, it’s real damn easy to see that they’re twins. He glares at them both.

“Well, all right, but...what about the, uh, social aspect?”

“Huh?” Anakin comes into the living room and sits in the chair across from Han and Leia’s couch. Han can never get over how the guy just...sprawls when he sits. It’s about the least Vader-like mannerism he can think of.

“Did you hit it off?” Han asks.

A brief frown crosses Anakin’s face. “I don’t know. I wouldn’t mind another chance to correct his opinions on TIEs.” Suddenly he brightens, “I did manage to get him the bartender’s number, though, and I’m pretty sure they’re going out this weekend, so I suppose that’s my good deed for the day.” He says this last very dryly. It’s something his therapist suggested, taking notice of his good deeds and letting himself be proud of them or something like that, and Anakin always snarks about it but Han is pretty sure he’s also following his therapist’s advice, so that’s something.

Anyway, that’s clearly not the important thing here. “Wait,” he sputters. “You...set Rav up on a date...with the bartender?”

Leia looks positively gleeful now and Han is pretty sure she didn’t plan this, but if it turned out she did he wouldn’t even be surprised.

Anakin, though, doesn’t seem to understand what’s got Han in such a fuss. “Sure,” he says with another shrug. “They made a cute couple.”

“I don’t believe this,” Han mutters. What kind of guy plays wingman for his own date? He scrapes a hand over his face and resolves to hold on to whatever dignity he can. “Okay, so Rav’s not your type, huh?”

Anakin only looks at him with an expression of such genuine confusion that Han can’t even convince himself the guy’s pretending. “My type of what?” he says.

A loud snort of laughter escapes Leia, and she tries to play it off as a sneeze. Han isn’t impressed.

“Never mind,” he mutters, and eventually the conversation moves on, but he knows Leia isn’t going to forget about this anytime soon.

*

So okay. Maybe he made a bad call with that first try. Maybe Anakin’s only interested in women? It’s a possibility. Fine. So this time Han will have to find the right woman.

He considers his options carefully. Luke and Leia’s mom was a politician and a founder of the Rebel alliance, smart as hell and also pretty damn stunning. (Leia definitely takes after her mother, he thinks, without the slightest hint of a goofy grin, no matter what Chewie says.) She must have had a terrible sense of humor though. Either that or she put up with Anakin’s awful jokes out of some never before heard of reservoir of patience and goodness. Actually, the way Anakin talks about her, that might be true.

So he’s looking for someone smart, driven, principled, but also somehow willing to endure endless terrible puns. That’s a tall order.

The first person he tries is Mon Mothma. It takes him a couple weeks to work up to asking her, because yeah, there’s nothing about this idea that isn’t awkward. But he’s got to admit, she does fit the profile.

So eventually he gets up the guts to suggest the idea of a date, and Mon Mothma laughs in his face.

Well, Han thinks, muttering to himself and wishing he could erase the last fifteen minutes of his life from existence. In hind sight, that was a pretty stupid idea. He’s never even heard of Mon Mothma going on a date.

“You’ve never heard of Dad going on a date either,” Luke says, smirking. Not for the first time, Han wonders what the hell he was thinking, making Luke his confidant in this. But he needed someone with more insight into Anakin, and he’d be damned if he’d ask Leia.

“That’s different, obviously,” Han says. “He spent twenty years inside a tin can.”

Luke rolls his eyes. “I just don’t understand why you won’t let this go,” he says.

“Because people are always flirting with him!” Han says. “And he’s always pretending not to notice. It’s infuriating.”

“It doesn’t happen that often,” Luke says, and okay, Han thinks, that’s actually true, but still. It happens often enough.

Luke sighs. “If you’re so stuck on that, why don’t you just ask one of the people who’s actually flirted with him?”

Huh. That’s not a bad idea, actually. Why didn’t he think of that.

*

It still takes him a while to plan his strategy, but eventually he manages to set Anakin up on a date with a woman named Meera Yasko. She’s Corellian, he’s pretty sure, but she’s also whip smart and pretty attractive. She’s some kind of attorney at a non-profit or something, and Han’s never been especially keen on people of the legal persuasion, but he figures Anakin might like that.

The old man takes a bit of convincing, but Han is a master of smooth talking (don’t laugh, Leia!) and eventually he gets them set up at a nice swank restaurant and even orders a bottle of wine for the table as a surprise.

*

Anakin comes back from this date a lot more excited, and Han experiences a fleeting moment of smug hope, only to have it crushed beneath Anakin’s heel when it turns out the man is excited for all the wrong reasons.

Apparently, Meera is the chief counsel at a non-profit involved in education for underprivileged youth, whatever the hell that means. They’re an interplanetary organization, too, but it’s not the organization itself that really interests Anakin. Meera has the legal background to cover all of the complicated bits about starting a foundation that Anakin doesn’t really understand (and Han understands even less, if he’s honest), and he thinks they might really be able to get this off the ground.

“Wait,” says Han. “This? What’s this?”

He expects a glare or an eyeroll from Leia and maybe Luke, but instead, they look as curious as he feels.

“Oh,” says Anakin, looking oddly shy. “Right. I haven’t told you yet. I’ve been thinking, well, they’re paying me all this money that I don’t need -” (here he raises a hand to forestall Leia’s usual protest) “- so I want to do something with it. And I thought... Tatooine’s free now, but there’s not exactly a uniform system of education, and many of the communities don’t have necessary supplies or access to training for teachers or -”

“Dad,” says Leia, “I think that’s a wonderful idea.”

As it turns out, setting up an entire school system takes a lot of work. Who knew, right? It also takes a pretty shocking amount of money, much more than Anakin’s supposedly extravagant yearly salary. That’s not a problem, though, because Meera helps him set up a fundraising program that’s frankly terrifying in its efficiency.

They spend an awful lot of time together, but it’s mostly in her office or over working lunches. Still, Han holds onto hope for a while. After all, she at least was definitely interested. He knows that. But after several months, he finally has to admit defeat. Meera and Anakin have a pretty great working relationship, and Han would even venture to say they’ve become friends, but he still hasn’t seen any evidence that Anakin ever realized she was interested, and it’s pretty clear now that she’s not thinking about him that way any more.

Still. The Padme Naberrie Educational Foundation basically exists because of Han, so he’s counting this one a win.

*

He keeps trying.

There’s a woman named Jasta who likes to dance and, apparently, has terrible taste in art. Not his best choice, but hey, Anakin managed to set her up with a guy they ran into at the art museum, and he seems happy about that, at least.

There’s Varin, who’s an active duty lieutenant in the Republic navy and likes to spend her leave time volunteering with animals. Anakin introduces her to the recently defected Admiral Piett, and damn if the two of them aren’t getting married about five months later. So that worked out, Han thinks, rolling his eyes. But hey, Anakin got a cat out of the deal, which apparently his therapist thinks is great for him, so...there’s that.

There’s Piett himself, which Han still thinks made sense in theory, because Anakin is clearly fond of the guy. But, looking back, he can admit that it’s pretty likely even Piett didn’t know this one was meant to be a date, and Han suspects Anakin may have agreed to the whole thing as an excuse to set Piett up with Varin.

His last attempt is a Twi’lek woman named Dinsa Atray who’s frankly just a little bit terrifying, but then so is Anakin, so Han figures it’s a good match. They actually start meeting up pretty regularly, and Han is starting to feel pretty smug about it, even though Leia still isn’t convinced of his matchmaking skills. But his illusions are cruelly shattered a few weeks later, when dramatic and disturbingly well-documented accusations of sentient trafficking and money laundering bring about the abrupt end of Senator Orn Free Taa’s political career and, eventually, the beginning of his exciting new prison career.

(“Well this was fun,” Han overhears Dinsa tell Anakin. “Let me know if you ever want to destroy a man’s life and reputation again. I’m always game.” Yeah. Maybe more than a little terrifying.)

*

Three years into his self-appointed quest, and Han’s sitting at the dinner table staring at an invitation to the wedding of Mon Mothma and Meera Yasko. He has to admit, he didn’t see that coming. He wonders a bit sourly if Anakin introduced them, too. Honestly at this point he wouldn’t be surprised. The universe is trolling him, clearly.

“Hey, Rustbucket,” he says, because no one’s ever accused him of quitting while he’s ahead. “Who are you bringing as your plus one?”

Leia eyes him with fond derision, and Han gamely ignores her.

“Kadee, probably,” Anakin says. “She likes weddings. Why?”

“No reason,” Han mutters.

*

It’s three more months before he finally gives up. But he’s not going to admit that.

“You know,” he tells Leia, “I think I can declare this operation a resounding success.”

“Really,” says Leia with a smirk. “Because from where I’m standing it looks like you set my dad up on a dozen blind dates, and he still doesn’t even realize he’s been on one.”

Han waves a careless hand. “Well, from where I’m standing it looks like Operation Get Anakin Skywalker Some Friends was an unqualified success.”

Leia’s face softens and she leans up to give him a lingering kiss. “That’s sweet, Han,” she says, and when he grimaces she laughs. “But don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone.”

[elfpen]

Alright, well, more or less all of tumblr has come out to enumerate the things they hated about The Last Jedi, so I’m going to butt in here to tell you what I loved about The Last Jedi.

There will be comprehensively big spoilers. 

1. Luke

I know that Rian Johnson’s portrayal of Luke has taken a lot of hate from fans and even Mark Hamill, but I really do think it is an honest portrayal of his character. It was painful to see how Luke has given up. It was meant to be painful. It was meant to be jarring. But I think it makes sense. 

I mean, think about it. Why is he seeking out a hermitage to spend the rest of his life away from everyone? Because of his failure with Ben Solo. It was a massive failure, but Luke is not well-acquainted with failure of even smaller kinds. He was a farm boy until he was 19, and then suddenly he was a Jedi, and then a hero, and then a Jedi Master, the savior of the free galaxy. The Chosen one. A legend. And then suddenly, it all falls apart, and Luke has no background to tell him how to recover. He screwed up. That’s it. He’s done. He checks out of the rest, thinking he’s done enough to harm the galaxy he wasn’t powerful enough to protect, to say nothing of Leia and Han’s heartbreak.

But why did it all go down in flames? Because he had a moment of weakness. And damn, what a weakness. He was afraid of his own pupil, to the point where, for just a split second, he thought it might be better to just... but then he realized almost as soon that he was wrong, and felt shame. But it was too late.

The rest of the fall of the New Order was on Ben, and only Ben. Luke royally screwed up, but Ben took it and really killed everything.

I loved, loved, loved it that Luke apologized to Ben. He needed to apologize, because what he did to Ben was truly awful. It was a good and humble moment for him. But what does Ben say in reply?

“I bet you are.”

Ben Solo, you f***ing brat. 

And so Luke shows the kid what-for and delivers perhaps some of the penultimate lines of the movie: “Every word of what you just said is wrong.” The Resistance is reborn, the First Order will fall, and Luke is not the last Jedi. Luke, in that moment, could not get any bigger as a character. He is the legend who fell, who came back, and who has passed the torch, the spark, onto the next generation.

And then, he is back on Ach-to, and he can join Ben Kenobi, Yoda, and his father in the Force, completely at peace as the twin suns set behind the clouds. That is the fall and redemption that Luke deserved. And while I wish they could have spent more time with him before saying goodbye, I loved it.

2. Classic tropes fall apart

Cocky pilot thinks he knows what’s best? Check.

Hairbrained plan against impossible odds to Save Everyone™? Double check.

A wise mentor to train the next generation? Check.

Chance to redeem the dark apprentice? Check.

The Last Jedi presents us with all of these tropes which we recognize from previous movies, and then it rips them to shreds.

If this were another Star Wars movie, Poe’s plans would have worked, and Holdo would be made to be an antagonist. In any other Star Wars movie, Finn and Rose’s crazy scheme to dismantle the tracking would have worked. The clock would have stopped at 00:01, and the heroes would cheer. If this were another Star Wars movie, Rey would eventually convince Luke to train her, to lead the rebellion again. If this were another Star Wars movie, Ben Solo would have killed his master and turned to the light side.

But this isn’t any other Star Wars movie. Poe is called out on his mistakes, and Holdo is revealed to be the wise leader that Poe could not see in her. Rey can’t convince Luke to return. Finn and Rose’s plan is ruined by the backstabbing codebreaker.  Furthermore, Finn’s attempted heroics against the battering ram gun almost kills him - I cannot fully communicate how terrified I was during that scene, thinking that they might actually kill Finn. Of course, Finn survives, but the battering ram does too, and their defenses are decimated. They lose that fight. They lose all of these fights. 

And perhaps most significantly of all, Kylo Ren is not redeemed. Not only is he not turned back to the light, he turns even deeper to the Dark. It was practically a scene from Return of the Jedi. Kylo kills his master and fights side-by-side with Rey, and for a moment, you think, oh my gosh, Kylo Ren is good, but then he and Rey face off, and he crowns himself Supreme Leader. 

Until this movie, Kylo Ren was not a villain. He was an idiot kid who was following the orders of a villain. Now, now he is a proper villain. He killed Han. He killed Snoke. He wanted to kill Luke. He lives to kill anyone who is powerful enough to challenge him/tell him what to do, and I think that now includes Rey. He shows weakness sometimes - he didn’t kill Leia, for instance. But killing Snoke solidifies his place in the dark. It doesn’t redeem him like it did Vader - it just makes him dig in his heels and hurt.

So why, you ask, is this trope-murder so important? Because the entire message of the movie was about two things: moving on from the past, and hope. Moving on from the past I will get to in a second, but as for hope... in order to understand the kind of hope this movie is talking about, you have to understand hopelessness. By taking all of these tropes that help our heroes win and making them into huge defeats were our heroes always lose, the storytellers are showing us what hopelessness really means. It means failure. Luke’s failure, Poe’s failure, Finn’s failure, Rose’s failure, Rey’s failure, Ben’s almost-turn before he becomes the Supreme Leader. 

And yet amid that failure, hope. Luke comes back to face Ben. Rey can’t save Kylo, but she can save her friends. Poe was wrong about Holdo, but he’s the one who calls off the charge on the battering ram because he’s learned better. Finn and Rose failed on their mission, but they’ve both learned what the Resistance is for - protecting those you love. They have been beaten, but they are still strong. Their allies are sparse and far-away, but they are not lost. There is hope, even when everything we’ve ever known to hope on is gone. And that is what Star Wars is about.

3. Let the past die

I will keep this bit short. A huge theme in this movie was the passing of the torch from one generation to another. Yoda destroys that old tree that housed the Jedi texts (This was largely symbolic, because we actually see that Rey has the Jedi texts aboard the Falcon at the end of the movie) to show Luke that it’s not about the Order, it never has been. It is about light, and balance, and hope.

Luke’s final showdown with Kylo is partially about him finishing his own arc, but is also about him formally passing the torch to Rey. It is only then that he can leave, much like Ben and Yoda did before him, once they had passed the torch to him. Anakin/Luke/Rey’s lightsaber was destroyed, but Rey kept the pieces and, significantly, the crystal. The characters must learn to learn from the past but let it go, because it is, no matter what, the past.

Even we as the audience have to let the past die by letting go of the formulas and tropes that got us through the Original Trilogy - see about some of these tropes above.

And it hurt to see the past die. I cried so much in this movie. But it would have been inappropriate to hang onto it. That is, after all, the Jedi way.

4. We have no clue what is going to happen

A friend of mind put it pretty well when she pointed out that, if we’re comparing the sequel trilogy to the original trilogy, The Last Jedi is basically a condensed version of both The Empire Strikes Back as well as The Return of the Jedi smushed together. We get a mentor training the next Jedi, a few fatalistic battles against the big bad, but most vitally, the emperor is killed by his own apprentice. But The Last Jedi breaks with the OT in significant ways: the dark apprentice isn’t redeemed. Our Jedi still hasn’t come into herself. The rebellion is still on the decline. The mentor is gone, the dark apprentice did not turn back to the light to help fight evil, and everything is still up in the air.

And we, as Star Wars fans, have no clue what is supposed to happen next. The Force Awakens was, as many disgruntled fans complained, essentially a reshoot of A New Hope. But The Last Jedi does what ESB and RoTJ do, but twists the plot and the characters to create something new an unfamiliar - but no unwelcomingly so. 

I was not alive for the original release for the original trilogy, but I cannot help but wonder if this is what it felt like after everyone saw Empire for the first time and wondered: Darth Vader is Luke’s dad??? Ben and Yoda are dead? Who is the other Skywalker?? Han is dead???? 

We have no leads. We have no blueprint to follow. And as terrifying as that is, I am really looking forward to whatever comes next.

To end, I just wanted to share the times where I shed actual tears:

When Rose’s sister died

When R2 played back Leia’s message from ANH

When Luke explained what happened with Kylo, about him being a “frightened boy”

When Luke said goodbye to Leia

When Holdo said goodybe to Leia

When Luke died

The dice that Luke took from the Falcon

The credits - specifically, when they dedicated the movie to “Our Princess Carrie Fisher” and played Leia’s theme

And a few of my favorite things

“I have an important message for him... about his mother”

“Do you think you got him?”

Rose being star struck by Finn until she realizes he’s trying to desert. What a statement of character!

“I know what you’re going to say. I changed my hair.” “It looks good like that.”

“See you around, kid.”

The whole “reach out” scene. Rey, you dumb little cinnamon roll I love you

The porgs. They’re a money grab, I know, but... okay, they’re working.

HOLDO. FREAKING HOLDO. She was a brilliant character.

“I’ve seen your daily routine. You’re not busy.”

The scene with Yoda. God, I’m so happy they brought the puppet back. Bless you, Frank Oz.

Holdo’s light speed jump, A.K.A. the most beautiful shot in a movie that I’ve seen in a long time.

The entire scene with Ben, Rey, and Snoke

The framing of Ben and Rey as the Force’s version of Yin and Yang

THE FIGHT. YOU KNOW THE ONE. THE FIGHT. IT WAS PERFECT.

“If you strike me down in anger, I’ll still be with you, just like your father.” Like DAMN Luke 

THE KID AT THE END WITH THE BROOM AND THE RING?? AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO SAW HIM USE THE FORCE?!??!??!

Okay about that FIGHT again, can we talk about how beautiful, symbolic, and poetic it was that the pull between light and dark literally ripped Anakin Skywalker’s lightsaber in two? I was having Mortis flashbacks.

I really loved this movie, and it saddens me that not everyone did. 

[tomeandflickcorner]

Bonus- Star Wars Re-Watch notes

As a follow-up to the Star Wars reviews I’ve been posting for the past few weeks, I decided to post the notes I made during my re-watches for the movies.  The only movie that isn’t included among these notes will be the ones for Solo.  That’s because I wasn’t able to take notes in the thearte.

Hope you enjoy

Phantom Menace notes-

• I wonder if they’ll ever change the logo to 21st Century Fox. • So this all started with the debate on taxation for intergalactic trades?  Why does this remind me of how the revolutionary war started? • Hah.  Female C3PO. • Why is that catchphrase mostly associated with Han when everybody has had a chance saying it? • If they didn’t want them to be recognized as Jedi, why wouldn’t they go in disguise? • RIP, random unnamed people. • Force Power = Holding your breath for an extended period of time? • Hate to break it to you, Amadala, but I don’t think they’re interested in a peaceful negotiations. • Hi, Jar Jar! • Love that line, Qui Gon. • So, they just happen to be carrying underwater breathing apparatuses?   • If it’s that easy to enter the bubble houses, do many fishes accidently end up in there? • Oh, I love the elaborate fauna that exists in this world! • Did he just knock Jar Jar out with the Force? • How did the Queen manage to change clothes so quickly with the invasion going on? • I’m no expert, but I don’t think a contract is legal if it’s signed under duress. • Haha.  I gotta admit, I love that droid’s sass. • Surprised no one got grazed with all the gunfire. • Hi, R2! • That was a lucky shot. • R2 was catty even back then. • Of course everyone was blown up except for R2. • Lesser of two evils, I guess.  Reminds me of that scene from Avatar: The Last Airbender.  When Zuko and Iroh were trying to decide if they should risk getting caught by Azula or venture into the Earth Kindgom where they were considered enemies. • What’s Darth Maul’s story? • So, what’s the relationship between Naboo people and the Gungans?  Do they normally remain segregated? • Why would R2 be going with them? • Has Anakin never seen a young girl before? • So Watto’s species is naturally smarter than Gungans? • Why would Jar Jar think that a good idea?  Do they not have merchants in Gungan City? • Wait.  So….they can’t send transmissions, but they can receive them without an issue? • How can a protocol droid help his mom?  Especially since she’s a slave? • Also, how would Anakin have the time and resources to build one? • Revenge for what? • So you’re saying only Force-sensitive people can participate in Pod Races?  Or are humans usually less agile than other species? • Hang on.  So Watto enters this kid into the Pod Races, but he won’t let him build his own racer? • Great, a Jesus kid. • So, only Padmé cares enough to help free him from the jet engine thing? • How’d he get cut again? • Ah, the Midichlorian thing. • So, has Darth Maul been visiting every planet systematically?   • So, who’s Ani’s friend?  Why would he have come to the race when the other kids didn’t? • So. I’m guessing the main languages of Tattoine are Huttanese and Basic? • Hmm.  Are those flags representing the racers’ native planets? • What a dirty cheater!  He’s that threatened by this one kid, or is doing that to all the other racers? • Who’s the other Hutt with Jabba?   • And now we commence with the boredom. • Wait, was that Willow? • The Tuskin Raiders must be pretty bored to be waiting around to shoot at the racers. • What exactly is the route for this race? • Did he just Force Command that loose bit of pipe? • Well, that backfired on Sebulba. • JAWAS! • The Hutts must be pretty scary, if the threat of going to them is enough to get Watto to relent. • What kind of undershirt is that, anyway?  It looks like it’s made of sticks • Why were they running?  Did they know they were being chased? • Another small hint of who Padmé really is. • Why would she need to remember him?  Was it specifically stated they’d be parting ways? • You’ve known each other for three days.  Why would they care for each other already? • Did Jar Jar just comment on the Queen’s attractiveness? • Another costume change? • I like Mace Windu. There’s just something about him that puts you at ease. • He’s not as awesome as Yoda, though. • Is that Padmé or the decoy? • How old do you have to be to become a Jedi?  Do you have to be a toddler? • Never understood how fear could lead to anger.  Like, what if you’re afraid of leeches?  Or Vermicious Knids?  How would that fear lead to anger? • Awww.  They should have gone with Bali of Alderaan.  He’s a cool guy! • So, is Palpatine a native of Naboo? • Oh, is this where Obi Wan got the whole Point of View thing from? • How many times does this Queen change outfits? • What a twist! • So, the Gungans are basically canon fodder? • Is that the same technology they used to make the bubble city?  What exactly keeps the blaster fire out but lets actual people in? • Is that really the best hiding place Anakin could find? • Yeah, ‘I’ll try to override it,’ he says.  While reaching for the helmet.  He’s totally doing this on purpose. • Who keeps designing these places with walkways over gaping pits?  And not including railings?  Seems like a pretty stupid architectural flaw. • Yeah, but you can still go back to the planet while staying in the cockpit.  Just saying • What’s the purpose of these timed forcefields in this room?  Why were they installed in the first place? • What’s that supposed to do, dude? • Yeah, that’s a death.   • Why do we never see blood in these movies? • And of course the camera focuses on him when that question is asked. • What exactly is that static light ball?

Attack of the Clones Notes-

• So, basically, a bunch of planets are declaring themselves independent from the Republic?  Why does this sound like how America declared independence from Britain? • Hi, R2! • Wow!  Spoke too soon, dude! • Ah, so Padmé is still using decoys.  RIP, Decoy Lady. • Hmm.  Is Yoda suspicious of him?  That look he gave Palpatine just now… • So it’s been ten years since Phantom Menace? • Oh, Anakin.  Stop flirting with her. • Um…it might not be a smart idea to have this argument in front of them?  Just a suggestion. • Anakin’s attraction to Padmé seems very creepy to me.  He met her when he was nine.  And they haven’t spoken since then.  That’s not love, that’s obsession. • How’s that for a wake-up call? • Haha.  ‘You’ll be the death of me.’  Nice foreshadowing, movie. • The Death Sticks scene. Classic. • Yeah, Jedi Masters.  I respect you and all.  But it’s probably a bad idea to send the hormonal 19 year old to act as bodyguard to his crush. • Shut up, Anakin.  You could use a healthy dose of humility. • You’re not grown up!  You’re 19 years old! Talk to me in 10 more years. • So, what’s the story behind Obi-Wan’s friendship with this Dax character? • Wait.  If Droids could think?  Is Obi-Wan racist against Droids? • Was that a sex joke? • Well, aren’t we overly confident, Librarian Lady? • Wow.  Seems like everyone is racist against Droids. • Yoda, I love you. • So they really needed a kid to point out that the information about this planet was erased from the archives?  That doesn’t say much for the adults in the Jedi order. • So on Naboo, the Queen is more of a president? Serving a few terms and then stepping down to allow a new ruler step in? • Is this the new Queen of Naboo? • Oh, Anakin.  Shut up.  You’re kinda unlikable. • That’s right, Obi-Wan.  Play along.  Don’t let them know you’re completely in the dark. • Padmé, how can you be seriously charmed by him?  He’s being really creepy. • Ah.  A bounty hunter is here.  And you’re looking for a bounty hunter.  Coincidence? • Suppose it shouldn’t be surprising that these clones look like Stormtroopers? • Are they really swapping first kiss stories? • You’re talking about a dictatorship.   • And Padmé is on the same page as me. • PADMÉ!  THE WARNING BELLS AREN’T GOING OFF IN YOUR HEAD AFTER THAT REMARK?!  HOW TIGHT IS THAT BRAID OF YOURS?  I THINK IT’S CUTTING OFF THE BLOODFLOW TO YOUR BRAIN! • Yep.  There’s the bounty hunter’s armor. • Am I supposed to ship these two?  Cause I really don’t. • So. This order was made ten years ago.  Right after the end of the last movie, perhaps? • You’re telling me that Anakin never was allowed to visit his mother at all in the past 10 years?  I know Jedi mandate means you have to let go of your past, but come on. • Hello again, Watto. • Saturn Planet!  Saturn is my favorite planet. • Baby Boba Fett is a very violent child.  Laughing when he thinks his father just killed a Jedi. • Who finished building C3-PO? • Ah.  Young Owen and Beru.   • Why exactly would Tuskin Raiders abduct a woman?  For what purpose? • Padmé is still changing her wardrobe in every single scene.  Where does she get all her clothes?  Does she have a team of seamstresses following her everywhere and making these things for her? • Cameo of the Jawas. • So these are the Separatists. • Oh, of course she doesn’t die until right after Anakin gets there. • Ooooh.  Darth Vader theme. • Anakin, everything must die someday.  It’s the natural order of things. • Sooo…..no concern over how he just confessed to committing genocide, Padmé? • Who do the other two graves belong to? • So it’s Padmé’s fault Anakin is defying the Jedi Council. • So Count Duku was the Jedi who taught Qui-Gon? • Well, the Jedi didn’t sense Darth Maul before he appeared before them.  So it’s not that impossible that Darth Sidious eluded detection, too.  Just saying. • So, what does Yoda think about Palpatine getting these supreme powers? • At least the décor for this epic battle scene makes sense.  They’re in a robot manufacturing factory. • R2 can fly now?  When did that become a thing? • How do you know R2 is always getting into trouble, 3PO?  You’ve spent next to no amount of time with him outside of Tatooine. • You cut that a little close, R2. • Gotta admit.  First time I saw this movie, I thought this was going to be how Anakin lost his hand. • Wow.  So, we’re about to die.  Now will be the perfect time to admit I’ve been falling in love with your creepy, obsessive personality. • Obi-Wan’s sass is delightful. • Oh, I LOVE the creatures in this world!  And I really want a pet Nexu. • Smart move, Padmé. • Another Force Power- the ability to tame animals.  Awesome. • Mace Windu is awesome. • Ouch!  Yeah, that’ll leave a mark! • 3PO really is pointless. • Perfect timing, Yoda.  You’re the best. • Um… Is Daddy Bounty Hunter’s head still inside his helmet?  Baby Boba Fett is going to have quite the job scrubbing the blood off the interior • Death Star blueprints! • Does Yoda sense something? • You kinda asked for that, Anakin.  Only fools rush in. • Why do they never bleed when they lose a limb? • YEAH!  GO YODA! • So Yoda taught Dooku, who taught Qui-Gon, who taught Obi-Wan. • And Dooku escapes, despite everyone’s best efforts. • Imperial March theme! • Still don’t get why Padme fell for this creep.

Clone Wars notes-

• Ha!  Text crawl! • Oh, no text crawl • What is this?  A documentary announcer? • Jabba the Hutt has a son? • Why is it always Obi-Wan and Anakin?  Oh, right- they’re the main characters. • What was it Mace Windu said about Jedi?  That they were keepers of the peace and not soldiers?  That’s sure changed.  Obi-Wan is a general now. • Wait.  Did Obi-Wan say he got a new Padawan?  I thought you could only have one Padawan at a time.  That’s what they said in Phantom Menace. Isn’t Anakin still Obi-Wan’s Padawan? • Wait, she’s Anakin’s Padawan?  How?  I thought only Jedi Masters could train Padawans.  Since when is Anakin a Jedi Master? • How old is Ahsoka Tano supposed to be?  Anakin is saying she’s too young to be a Padawan.  But he was nine when he started training under Obi-Wan. • Jedi don’t run?  That seems like a dumb rule? • Oh, Obi-Wan.  You’re kinda extra, aren’t you? • How does it feel to deal with such an impulsive, headstrong Padawan, Anakin?  Now you know how Obi-Wan felt. • I just noticed.  Since when does Anakin have a purple lightsaber?  Yeah, his lightsaber broke in Attack of the Clones, but….didn’t he have a blue one in Revenge of the Sith? • And Anakin is still a jerk. • Does Anakin have a grudge against the Hutts?  Considering he lived on Tatooine…. • Wow.  That’s brutal! • Hmm...  I kinda like this background music. • Aw, a Pink Astromech droid with R2?  I ship it! • Too bad you never learned the lesson about humility, Anakin. • Is the protocol Droid Jabba’s utilizing the one we saw being ripped apart in Return of the Jedi? • So who’s this lady? • We still have an hour left?  What more is there to say?  They found the Baby Hutt. • Oh, that’s a diabolical move, Dooku.  Framing the Jedi for the son’s kidnapping. • Does Baby Hutt speak yet?  If so, he’d be able to set the record straight to his father. • Wilhelm Scream! • Why does he call her Snips?  I think I missed the reasoning for that nickname. • Props to this guy.   That was a brave move. • Do they know Mystery Lady? • Captain Rex is pretty cool. • I guess Baby Hutt physiological system isn’t compatible to this planet.  Is that why he’s sick? • Seriously, who is this Vestris person? • Okay, I know the Soldier Droids are the bad guys, but they’re hilarious. • RIP to those guys. • Well, that some getaway. • Wow, she’d make a good babysitter. • Ohhhh.  He was remembering how the Tuskin Raiders killed Shmi, wasn’t he? • Wow.  So you’re claiming that Baby Hutt is dead now? You’re gonna look mighty silly when he shows up alive and well. • Oh, hi, Padmé.  I didn’t think you’d appear in this movie. • Did R2 complain like that the first time he went to Tatooine?  Just saying, he’s been there twice before.  By now, you’d think he’d be used to it. • Wow!  They’re playing a different song? • Hey, who’s this voice actor?  He sounds familiar. • Well, that didn’t accomplish anything. • Oh, don’t get Anakin started on sand, Ahsoka. • Ah, maybe that scene wasn’t so pointless. • Oh.  Uncle Hutt is helping Dooku.  Now it makes sense. • How are you going to get out of this one, Padmé? • Hehe.  I like Baby Hutt. • Ah.  So 3PO now hangs around with Padmé the way R2 hangs around with Anakin.  I find that interesting since 3PO later sticks with their daughter and R2 is closest to the son. • I knew it!  He sent Ahsoka ahead with Baby Hutt. • R2, I think Ahsoka could use a little bit of help. • Oh, I was gonna say.  I didn’t think 3PO would have come here on his own.   • Doesn’t Anakin speak Huttnese?   Why didn’t he react until after the translation? • Kinda ironic.  Anakin helps save Jabba’s son, and Anakin’s daughter will eventually kill Jabba.

Revenge of the Sith notes-

• Huh.  Another kidnapping plot • Kinda like how Obi-Wan has kept R4 as his signature Droid. • Um… you might want to keep it down, Obi-Wan.  R2 is still in enemy territory. • Why is Anakin listening to him?  The fact that he’s ordering the death of someone without a trial isn’t very befitting of someone who claims to be a fan of democracy • Again with the Tusken Raider sounds.   • Why isn’t Palpatine’s attitude making Anakin suspicious? • Wilhelm Scream! • Well, that was a conveniently placed open door in the elevator shaft. • Where did this Grievous guy come from, anyway?  They pretty much introduce him out of nowhere. • I just thought.  Where did R4 go?  Did I miss that? • Oh, I guess she was destroyed during that gunfight.  Shame. • Didn’t Obi-Wan try to discourage Anakin from getting too chummy with the politicians? What changed his mind? • Okay, I don’t ship these two, but I admit.  I can appreciate the situation they’ve found themselves in with this pregnancy • Ugh.  This sappy dialogue.  Gag. • So Padmé is planning to go in ‘vacation’ for a few months? • Wise words from Yoda.  Shame he wasn’t there after Shmi died. • Again, why isn’t Anakin’s attitude about less democracy causing more concern? • Since when does Palpatine need to be represented on the Jedi Council? • Yeah, Anakin isn’t a Jedi Master.  So why was he given a Padawan in the Clone Wars series? • Can we get that story?  The one that shows how Yoda is on good relations with the Wookiees? • It’s treason to spy on the Chancellor? Well, wasn’t he basically asking you to spy on the Jedi Council? • Oh, he’s a good man, is he?  Yeah, he only told you to kill Count Dooku in cold blood and then expected you to leave Obi-Wan to die.  Yeah, he sounds LOVELY. • Oh, NOW you’ve considered the possibility that you misinterpreted the prophecy? • I like how Padmé is also having her doubts.  Because the Republic has become more of a dictatorship than a democracy. • And no one is going to point out how that statement about being unable to let go of their power might apply to this guy?  The one who stayed in office longer than he was supposed to? • That sounds horrible.  Preventing people from dying. • Let me guess.  You were that apprentice, weren’t you? • Ugh.  The Wookiee roars. • Was that a Tarzan yell? • Does Obi-Wan know they’re secretly married? • Dracula alien? • Oh, I want one!  I want the bird lizard! • Nice.  Four lightsabers. • What was up with the camera zoom into the eyes?  Never do that again, movie! • Okay, so Palpatine isn’t even pretending he hasn’t studied the Force anymore. • Oh.  That was….a bit anti-climactic. • Okay, Anakin is doing the right thing here, reporting to Mace Windu. • Can they sense each other?  Is that’s what they’re trying to convey? • Welp, RIP to those guys. • Aw.  I liked Windu.  Booo. • Awww.  Yoda is sensing this. • Really hope Lizard Birdie survived that fall.  He seemed so nice! • Yep.  Yoda is really feeling it now! • Sorry, dude.  Yoda doesn’t go down that easily. • Oh, hi Bail!  Did Padmé send you? • Shame this kid didn’t make it.  He had guts, taking them all on at once. • So Chewbacca was around even back then.  I wonder what a Wookiee’s lifespan is. • Hey, don’t leave out the fact that the Chancellor is a Sith!   • Great line from Padmé. • Yoda’s already checked the security footage, hasn’t he? • I really get the feeling Obi-Wan already knew they married in secret. • Oh, so NOW she’s hearing the things he’s saying. • YEAH!  I love Yoda!  He’s awesome! • Okay, this scene is pretty heartbreaking, I will admit. • So, how far along is Padmé supposed to be?  If Padmé is visibly pregnant, did anyone ever wonder who the father was? • Yeek, Anakin is a stubborn one.  Burned alive and he hasn’t died yet? • Hi, Luke and Leia. • Nice POV shot there. • RIP, Padmé. • Oh, NOW you care about Padmé?  Didn’t seem that way when you were keeping her in a Force Chokehold • Okay, I get why they want to keep the twins hidden, but…. isn’t that kind of obvious, to send Baby Luke to his father’s stepbrother?  Granted they only met once, but…..you’d think that would be an obvious place. • So R2 didn’t get his memory erased.  Meaning he remembers ALL of this! • Awesome how they’re playing everyone’s theme songs over this sequence. • And I love this final shot.  Great way to end it.

Rouge One notes-

• Planet! • A Saturn-like planet! • I can’t remember.  Do they ever explain the significance of that crystal pendant? • Okay, I get that Lyra loves her husband and all, but why would she run out like that?  It seemed like they had this whole escape plan worked out.  Besides, she had a responsibility to be there for her child. • Well, I guess she figured this bloke would be there to step in, but still! • And now Jyn is in jail.  For what, exactly? • Ring of Kafrene.  This trading post place is on an asteroid, from the looks of it.  How do they maintain a breathable atmosphere? • Kyber Crystals? • Well, that was kinda a jerk move. • This planet is called Jedha?  Is the fact that it kinda sounds like Jedi relevant.  Based on that fallen statue, was this the site of a sacred Jedi temple? • I wonder what these other guys’ stories are…? • Okay, so they came here specifically to get Jyn?  How did they know she was there? • Hi, K2S0!   • So this is Yaven 4, right? • Wow, they got a good replacement for Mon Motha.  She looks just like the original actress! • Bail Organa!  Why did they give you the Luke theme just now? • And was that the other Rebel leader?  The one who briefs everyone before the battle of the First Death Star? • Hi, Tarkin.  RIP, Peter Cushing. • Ah, so this is the site of an old Jedi temple? • Okay, but what do you plan to do when you find out that he’s not lying, dude? • Hey, those are the guys from Mos Eisley!  Are they currently on their way to Tatooine?  Considering what happens to this planet in a couple hours…. • So, what’s this guy’s story?   I get he was once a guardian of the Jedi Temple, but….was he Force Sensitive but just didn’t have a Jedi to train him?  Because I’m guessing he sees through the Force. • Where’d she learn to fight like that? • Nice fake out. • Seriously, you can’t tell me this guy isn’t Force Sensitive! • Really wish we learned out how these two guys met. • Haha!  ‘Are you kidding me?  I’m blind!’  I love the humor in this movie. • Okay, I get you were trying to keep her safe.  But it was a jerk move that you went about it that way.  You could have at least been honest about why you were sending her away. • So, according to this movie, the Death Star has a ‘volume’ button of sorts. • I’m guessing these six are the only people who made it out of the area alive? • I wonder.  Did Yoda and Obi-Wan sense this event through the Force? • Ah, can’t do it, can you? • Dude!  That was uncalled for!  He just told you they had nothing to do with it! • How was this guy not initiated into the Jedi order? • This is actually pretty good social commentary on what war does to soldiers, and the dangers of following orders blindly. • Does Vader live on Mustafar now?  You’d think he’d prefer to keep off this planet considering he believes this is where Padmé died. • Okay, I’m a bit confused.  They want to keep the Death Star a secret.  So how was it a good idea to destroy an entire planet roughly a week later? • Well, you’ve done a 180, Jyn.  Just a short time ago, you were content to just live with your head in the sand. • Aw, Bail Organa.  Wanting to contact Obi Wan again.  Shame you had to remain on Alderaan. • Hehe. ‘Are we blind?!’ • Probably a weird thing to comment on, but why do only the Imperials have Mouse Droids?  Why doesn’t the Rebellion have any? • Maybe because you’re a blabbermouth, 3PO?   • Nice that their arc has been completed; her giving him the blaster. • Gotta say, Cassian.  That was pretty stupid, calling him on the comlink at that precise moment.  If he closed the door, don’t you think there might have been a good reason? • Hyperspace Tracking?  Really?  If they had eliminated that file when they did…. • Then again, there’s probably a copy on another planet.  Considering this base will be destroyed in a few minutes….. • RIP, K2-SO.  You were the best. • Same to you, Chirrut.   • That thing was straight out of a video game! • Wow, that IS a cool move! • That’s one chilling image. • Kinda satisfying that this punk can see his death coming. • So, I’m a bit confused.  Was Leia among the ships converging around Scarif?  I thought she was supposed to go fetch Obi-Wan.  Did she just decide to take a detour first?

A New Hope notes-

• This text crawl is even cooler now that we know the details of Rouge One. • Wait, this text says Leia is heading home.  But wasn’t she going to Tatooine to fetch Obi-Wan?   Though I realize George Lucas hadn’t ironed out the details yet. • Always wondered what the story was with that other Protocol Droid.  The White 3PO. • How were they not hit while crossing the hallway? • Wasn’t R2 just with 3PO?  How’d he manage to distance himself long enough to meet up with Leia? • Hey, they mentioned the mines on Kessel! • What kind of insult was that?  What part of his statement warranted calling him a philosopher? • Pretty ballsy of Leia there, considering her ship just left Scarif. • Oh, shut up, 3PO.  You haven’t even traveled that far. • Eh, forget about him, R2.  You don’t need that whiny prissy pants.  He’s useless. • Jawas!  You know, I kinda wonder what they look like without those cloaks. • Well, that’s a convenient coincidence that they were both picked up by the same Jawas, despite going in different directions. • How does 3PO not know Leia?  Is the restraining bolt altering his memory? • And how would you know that, Beru?  Didn’t you only meet Anakin once in your life? • I never noticed how odd these scene transitions were. • What kind of a noise was that? • What? Since when did Anakin make any mention about wanting his son to have his old lightsaber? • So Palpatine has eliminated the Senate altogether? • Wait, he constructed it?  I thought the credit to that went to Galen and Krennic?  Who’s this clown? • Isn’t the Death Star already operational? • Yeah, so dangerous I won’t even bother going with you to assist you with my considerable powers. • Never quite understood what that orb thing was supposed to do. • I just thought.  Why did Luke not know about the Force until Obi-Wan told him when practically everyone else had a conscious knowledge of it?  Did his uncle purposely keep him in the dark? • So, what was this guy’s problem?  And how did they get off Jedha before it went boom? • Corillia mention.  Kinda cool how that ended up being Han’s home planet. • So the orb was a mind probe? • This scene seems pointless.  Didn’t the Greedo scene cover all of this?  Not to mention how Jabba is too small in comparison to how he looked in Return of the Jedi. • And it’s way too soon for Boba Fett to appear. • Didn’t they already buckle themselves in?  Kinda silly that they unbuckled again to visit the cockpit. • Yeah…. Weren’t they supposed to keep the Death Star from being noticed? • I wonder if Obi-Wan sensed the destruction on Jedha and Scariff, too. • Isn’t the exact same way Chewbacca lost against Tobias? • Luke, you didn’t even hear about the Force until a few hours ago. • What was with that smile, Obi-Wan?  Do you know something? • Heh.  Vader starts gesturing AFTER he’s done talking.  Bad dubbing work? • Interesting how everyone associated that statement with Han when everyone has said it. • Does Chewbacca know Obi-Wan was allies with Yoda?  We did see him and Yoda were pals during the Clone Wars. • I want a mouse droid. • And Vader senses Obi-Wan’s presence. • How does Leia know Obi-Wan goes by Ben now? • Well, him and the Emperor…..  Tarkin knows Palpatine can use the Force, too, right? • And Han just had to through in a loud yell as he jumped, didn’t he? • It’s just his imagination?  Then what made that sound, genius? • I can’t believe that worked!  Maybe it’s because of the whole Droid discrimination? • Huh.  So those guys walking past in the background obviously have no peripheral vision. • Yeesh, Leia.  Weren’t you on the Senate?  I hope you didn’t insult all other non-humanoid species like that. • Wilhelm Scream! • So Luke just happens to have a tether cord on his belt? • Hey, who’s that other Astromech Droid? • This lightsaber battle is kinda boring when you remember their last battle had them surfing down a river of lava. • Does anyone else find it strange how Luke didn’t seem shocked by hearing Obi-Wan’s disembodied voice? • Heh.  Gotta admire Leia’s decorum.  She could have easily been all ‘oh, boo hoo, the guy you met yesterday died.  It’s not as if your entire planet got blown up.’ • Big explosion for a one-man ship. • How on the world did you get all tangled up like that, 3PO? • Hey, don’t act like the Millennium Falcon can’t be tracked, Han.  Enfrys Nest was able to track it, remember? • Didn’t you already know about the weak spot, Leia?  Or are you still having doubts about Galen’s trustworthiness? • That was a pointless atmosphere shot. • Zebra Astromech Droid! • Kinda low-key disappointed we didn’t get a better idea of the friendship between Luke and this Biggs person. • Oh.  Calling the fat guy Porkins.  That was in poor taste. • Should have stayed on target. • Pride comes before a fall, Tarkin. • RIP, Biggs.  We hadly knew thee. • I wonder when Vader starts to suspect that this might be his son….. • I wonder what made Han change his mind.  Did he just decide he couldn’t ignore his conscience?   • Did he just call her Carrie? • I wonder who loaned Luke that outfit, considering he only came here with the clothes on his back. • So why doesn’t Chewbacca get a metal, too? • And the movie tries to create tension by not revealing R2 is okay right away…..

Holiday Special notes-

• Pretty sure this opening text crawl was added in by Star Wars fans and wasn’t part of the original broadcast. • Jumping right into the action with Han and Chewbacca evading Star Destroyers. • This introduction segment makes it look like this is going to be a Star Wars-themed variety show.   Well, if the shoe fits…. • I don’t remember most of these celebrities. • I want to know who decided against including subtitles in the scenes focusing on Chewbacca’s family. • Gotta say, it’s kinda hilarious.  This is supposed to be a holiday.  And they’re not letting the kid enjoy himself.   • Wait.  Do the Wookiees have garbage men on their planet? • Since when do they have cameras in the Star Wars universe that could enable them to have framed photographs? • Hey, the holographic chess board! • And the first pointless segment- Holographic acrobat parade. • And they’re giving the kid more chores.  I thought it was a holiday on the Wookiee planet.  Let the kid enjoy himself! • And Luke makes his cameo. • When did Luke meet these guys, anyway?  And why does he have to do maintenance on his own ship?  Doesn’t the Rebel Alliance have people for that? • Hey, if you’re not going to pay attention to R2’s warnings, you shouldn’t have asked him to keep an eye on the ship. • Well, that’s what you get for not listening to your Droid! • So….off-duty Imperials continue to wear their Imperial attire when they’re off the clock? • The Imperial guy couldn’t see right through that obviously coded message? • And they’re just recycling footage that never made it into the movie. • Okay, so are you going to stop forcing the kid to do chores? • Oh, no.  We’re getting a cooking show now. • I wonder what the rates are for shipping Bantha meat to other planets. • Stir, whip, stir, whip, whip, whip, stir.  WAAAAH! • How many arms does this cooking transgender lady have? • And back to Han and Chewbacca. • Now back to the Wookiees. • Why are you pronouncing Kashyyyk that way, guy? • Oh, it’s that merchant bloke. • Well, maybe they let you through because your ship wasn’t seen joining the attack against the Death Star. • Oh, goody!  He got me something electrical that I have to put together myself!  Exactly what every kid wants! • Oh, dear.  This segment. • They were aware that kids would be watching this, right?  I wonder how many parents went nuts and quickly changed the channel upon hearing what this woman was saying. • Is Grandpa Wookiee doing what I think he’s doing? • And she just starts singing.   Well, I guess it’s better than the….alternative.  They had to keep this Rated G, after all. • Oh, and we got Leia and 3PO. • How does everyone know Chewbacca’s family? • You can understand Chewbacca but not Mala? • Finally, 3PO is being useful!  Too bad he couldn’t act as translator through the rest of the special • Even though I’ve just met you, old man, I trust you! • I notice they never really explain what Life Day is. • FAKE OUT! • Oh.  The Nazi undertones are just seeping through the screen at this point. • And a Jefferson Starship music video. • And this is actually keeping the Imperials’ attention. • Well, then you’re a lousy general, guy.  If you can’t always control your men…. • Wait.  So you’re telling me someone makes animated cartoons about the members of the Rebel Alliance in this world? • Ah, a new planet.  Pannah. • Is that the Purplesaurus Rex? • And Boba Fett • Who puts a sleeping virus on an amulet? And why were they after the amulet in the first place? • What, he can’t even watch his cartoons? • Well, this is convenient, that the Droids can intercept a transmission that’s being made miles away. • No, he’s not Vader’s right-hand man.  He’s a bounty hunter.  So Vader just hired him. • They have stuffed animals of Banthas in this universe?  Wow. • Really?  We get an instruction video now? • So this world has Droids and Androids?  How come this is the only time we see an Android? • Maybe this is why.  Androids keep malfunctioning and breaking down. • Ah, more recycled footage. • Is this really required viewing for all Imperials? • Hi, Bea Arthur. • Does this guy have a volcano in his head? • And he has six fingers. • Oh, this guy.  Under normal circumstances, he’d be a bit of a jerk.  He’s the guy who thinks the waitress/cashier/etc. is flirting with him by simply being friendly, as per her job’s requirements. • Is there really that much Rebel activity on Tatooine for them to impose a curfew on the whole planet? • Bea Arthur sings! • Oh. Volcano Head stayed! • Dang it, Kid!  You can turn that thing off now! • Too late. • And he doesn’t immediately shoot the kid? • Ah, now Chewbacca and Han show up. • Wow, were Mama and Grandpa just standing around when Lumpy was being chased by the Stormtrooer? • Oh, this guy again. • What do you plan to do when they find the body? • What are they doing? • Now they’re in Snuggies? • Where are they? • Oh, no.  It’s an entire Wookiee choir! • Wait, where did all of you guys come from!? • Han, didn’t you just go back to the Falcon? • Do the other Wookiees even know who these guys are? • Tree of Life?  What are you….? • Oh.  Carrie Fisher is singing. • Chewbacca looks dead! • And random footage from A New Hope, reminding us we could have been watching a better movie. • It’s still going? • Okay, Chewbaca.  You and your family enjoy your invisible holiday dinner. • Finally!  The end credits!

Empire Strikes Back notes-

• Yeah, the Yaven 4 base was probably compromised anyway, since Vader survived the battle. • Wait, why is Luke leading them now?  Shouldn’t that be Leia’s job? • Ah, so Vader has figured out who Luke is, then?  Wonder what tipped him off?  Shame we couldn’t see his reaction to that. • Hmm.  I wonder how Luke adjusted to being on this ice planet, considering he spent his entire life on a desert world. • Wow, Tauntan Creature.  You couldn’t have warned him sooner? • I see you, movie, with you keep cutting to Leia so we can see her reaction to Han telling that other guy that he’s leaving. • Hehe.  I wonder what all those other random people were thinking as they passed by.  ‘Oh, boy, are those two at it again?’ • And when it comes to loyalty, Han gets top marks. • Well, that was convenient, that his lightsaber didn’t fall off before they reached the cave. • Didn’t Qui-Gon instruct you?  Well, I guess Yoda technically instructed you, too, as he taught you about Force Ghosts. • Aw, it’s Rouge Two.  *sniff* • So what earned this guy the prestige of being Rouge Two? • Ewwww.  George Lucas did know about the twist involving these two by this point, didn’t he?  If so, double ewwww. • Dang it, Chewbacca!  Why’d you have to alert the Probe Droid to your presence? • What were you going to say, Luke?  It looked like you were getting ready to say something. • So he can Force Choke Hold someone through a transmission.  Wow, that’s actually impressive. • So it’s official now.  R2 predominantly stays with Luke while 3PO is virtually claimed by Leia.  Interesting how the twins claim the droid the parent of the same gender had. • How did the Falcon get this damaged in the first place? • Would have been nice if they were able to tell us what R2 was saying.  Considering Basic uses a different alphabet. • I really do wonder if Han WAS secretly Force Sensitive . • Ah, our first hint of what Vader looks like without the helmet. • Yeah, you pretty much walked into that one, Leia. • Oh, and Tatooine wasn’t a strange place to find a Jedi Master? • So, obviously, Yoda knows who Luke is.   Meaning he’s acting like this to get an idea of his true nature.  But what about R2?  Wouldn’t he be able to recognize Yoda? • Ah, unplanned L3 reference. • What was with that third hologram that fizzled out?  Was the ship he was on that one that got hit? • Oh, was this how he figured it out? • Ah, Luke.  You failed Yoda’s first test. • So….that means Mynocks were living in the Space Worm’s stomach? • Why are you taking the weapons?  Yoda just told you that they weren’t needed. • So, obviously this was supposed to be symbolic of the fact that Luke could easily end up like Vader, but I wonder if it was also meant as deeper foreshadowing of who Vader really was…. • Hi, Boba Fett. • So, why exactly is Vader so interested in the Millennium Falcon? • Why does the Lightspeed feature still no work? • Dude, it was working!!!  Why did you give up? • Seriously, Han is really proving how cleaver he is in this movie! • Ah, Boba Fett anticipated that maneuver. • So, have Han and Lando met since the events of Solo? • Yeah, another.  That you didn’t bother to train at all. • I kinda like how we’re slowly but surely seeing Lando’s growing turmoil.  A nice lead-up to his final turn to good. • I wonder.  Does Vader recognize 3PO? • Hey!  Someone actually installed railings! • Ice Cream Machine!!!! • So, was that a garbage chute? • What exactly is Luke hanging from? An anti-gravity device? • Well, he probably didn’t think you were ready to know, Luke. • Wonder how L3 feels about the Falcon being piloted by Lando again.

Return of the Jedi notes-

• The Empire really loves their Death Stars, don’t they?  You’d think they would have decided to cut their losses. • Why no subtitles? • They really don’t tell 3PO anything, do they? • Oh, now they give us subtitles! • Wow, that scene was kinda dark. • Ugh, what is this song?  What was wrong with the last one?  Hasn’t Lucas heard that less is more? • Didn’t they say they were putting a restraining bolt on 3PO? • Hi, Lando! • So, with all the changes they made, they couldn’t make that effect look better? • How long were they waiting behind that curtain? • Yeah, how long has it been since the last movie?  Luke’s strength in the Force seems to have gotten stronger. • I wonder.  Does Jabba know he’s looking at the son of the Jedi who helped rescue his kidnapped son during the Clone Wars? • I wonder how long Lando was hiding out in this place.  How many sacrifices to the Rancor has he seen? • Aw, I feel bad for the Rancor keeper. • Well, that was an unceremonious way for Boba to go out • Aw, I REALLY hope Max Rebo got off before that barge blew up! • How is his training now complete?  Was he self-training between movies? • RIP, Yoda. • Oh, now he calls him Obi-Wan?  After he repeatedly referred to him as Ben prior to this scene? • So why couldn’t they inform Luke of his sister before?  I know they wanted to keep Leia’s identity a secret, but they could have mentioned a sister and introduced other potential candidates. • And Lando is a full-fledged Rebel, now? • Oh, Hi Mon Mothma!  Where have you been hiding all this time?  We’ve seen you helped found the Rebel Alliance with Bail Organa.  So why are we only seeing her now? • So, what was with Han’s feeling?  It’s not as if anything happens to the Millennium Falcon during the upcoming battle. • So Luke and Vader can sense each other’s presence, now? • This could be a good ride idea.  Endor speeder bike tour! • And enter the Ewoks! • This is even cuter when you realize Wicket is roughly 6-years-old in Ewok years. • Of course you didn’t sense it, Emperor Palpatine.  You underestimate the strength of family bonds. • What kind of animal was that? • Okay, I get the Ewoks have never seen a Droid before, but why do they think 3PO is a deity? • Hehe.  Luke is so amused by this. • So, they plan on eating the guys, but Leia gets the guest of honor treatment?  Odd. • I don’t get it.  They think 3PO is a god, but they don’t listen when he tells them to release Luke, Han and Chewbacca? • Is 3PO giving a full recap of the last two movies? • How does Leia remember Padmé at all, considering she died when she and Luke were only a few minutes old? • Oh, you’ve always known, Leia?  Then why were you kissing him in the last movie? • Well, would Padmé’s name hold meaning to you? • Bet that Ewok is having the time of his life! • Oh, Lando being clever and figuring it out! • Wow.  That’s a lot of Imperials. • Really?  They think it takes six troopers to capture one Droid? • And now that 3PO has served his purpose, he’s back to being useless and annoying • Ah, so Wedge is still around?  Wonder why he didn’t play a bigger role in the movies other than one of the Rebel Pilots. • You’re telling me none of the retreating Imperials paid any mind to Luke dragging Vader along? • So, who repaired R2? • Ah, the new ending. • Okay, I’m totally okay with showing the other planets.  But I do NOT LIKE this new ending music!  Give me the Yub Nub song! • And get that Haden Christianson Anakin off my screen!  Give me the original Sebastian Shaw Force Ghost!

Ewoks: Caravan of Courage notes-

• Oh, wow.  The old logo for Lucasfilm! • And we have a narrator in this movie? • And there’s a troll. • Are those ponies?   The Ewoks have Ponies, now? • With the narrator, this seems more like a nature documentary on Ewoks. • So this is Wicket’s family, then.  He has a father, mother, two older brothers and a baby sibling. • They have goats, too? • Wait, the little girl is back at the ship?  Then why couldn’t the parents find her before? • Haha.  The Ewoks really don’t like male humans, do they? • Strange bonding scene between the girl and Wicket. • She just said she didn’t feel so good, Mace.  I think it’s obvious she isn’t okay. • Ah, Ewok Slapstick. • Wait, so is this the Tree of Life they mentioned in the Holiday Special? • Mace, probably not a good idea to stick your hand into a strange hole in a tree on an unfamiliar planet. • Yep, that’s what you get! • And now we get a ferret?  Why are all these Earth animals on Endor? • And now, Wicket is learning how to speak Basic? • Cindel, I know you’re a kid, but do the Ewoks look as if they have a starcruiser? • What do you mean, they’re just animals, Mace?  This is the Star Wars universe.  You must have seen other Alien species before.  And the Ewoks are clearly sentient. • Was that a werewolf? • Mace, is it really smart to sneak out in the middle of the night?  You know nothing about this moon, or what kind of nocturnal wildlife there is. • And now you’re building a fire?  Wow, you’re dumb! • Finally! A strange Star Wars creature!  Though the effects are laughable, compared to the Rancor. • And now the Ewoks are there? • So Lokrey the Shamin…can use magic?  Magic exists in the Star Wars universe?  Or is what they’re calling magic actually the Force?  Can Ewoks be Force Sensitive? • The Giant Gorax, huh? • And the other Ewoks speak Basic now, too?  How did they learn to speak Basic so well? • Okay, that was a nice moment.  The Mama Ewok knowing her husband and sons are heading off on a journey they might not return from and reacting to it in an understandable way. • So we got Legendary Ewok Warriors, now? • So Deej and the two older brothers just get winged headdresses?   What purpose would those serve? • Why do you think there’re stopping, Mace?  They’re picking up their final band member. • Ah, a female Ewok.   • So….what was this test supposed to do?  The crystal turns into a lizard and then it’s a mouse?  What did that mean? • And what’s the deal with this lake?  How does it trap people below the surface?  A little context would be nice, Narrator? • And we have a legion of Tinkerbells? • HAHA!  I like that one Ewok.  He just looks around at all the mayhem and decides to just go back to sleep. • So the fairy thing feeds on laughter?  Is that what this supposed to convey? • That’s one powerful blaster to obliterate a rock. • Mace doesn’t recognize a spider web? • Okay, you destroyed the web.  But how do you plan on getting back? • Did the spider survive the fall, or is this a different one? • So, two Ewoks weigh the same as a human? • Nice fake-out, movie. • Yeah, that’s right.  You chopped down the spider web bridge. • So the Tinkerbell thing has a point in the movie. • Well, you got over your sorrow quickly, Mace. • Ah.  So you’re all just going to Tarzan swing across the gorge? • Didn’t the rest of the Fairy Family get absorbed into the candle? • Ugh, what a sappy ending line from Mr. Narrator.

Battle for Endor notes-

• And we open on Cindel and Wicket • Hey, the principal from Breakfast Club! • And Wicket speaks fluent Basic now. • They have school in the Star Wars universe? • And we’re jumping right into the action. • She can turn into a crow? • She seems remarkably calm for someone whose mother and brother died. • Kid, your whole family is dead.  I think it’s okay if you cry a little. • So the Ewoks are putting all their hope in Wicket and a 6-year-old?  (I don’t know how old Wicket is in Ewok years, but I’m guessing he’s still a kid, too.) • And people say the Stormtroopers have horrible aim? • Um…. They’re not the least bit concerned by the pile of loose bones? • So you plan on catching the flying creature on a glider? • And they’re completely unharmed after crashing?  At least have Cindel get some scrapes and abrasions. • And what is this guy supposed to be? • Cindel, you’re way too trusting.  For all you know, this guy could be in league with the guys who killed your family. • Yes, this is a great idea.  Go into someone’s house and immediately start snooping around. • Yeah, I get where this guy is coming from, but he’s not the least bit curious as to why this little kid is all alone? • Dude, they’re the ones who made the muffins! • Heh.  He used reverse phycology just now, didn’t he? • Did I miss the part when they introduced that critter as Teek? • Well, we’re finally seeing Cindel experience some psychological scars. • So, I guess these guys don’t get how technology works and think it’s a magical talisman? • You can make a pie out of flowers? • Also, weren’t you going to go looking for where the Ewoks are being held?  But instead, you go flower picking? • Noa, aren’t you the least bit concerned as to why they’re out in the woods without their parents? • Heh.  Nice callback to the last movie. • And I guess Wicket has completely forgotten all about his family, and how they’re all probably being tortured and killed. • Okay, she can’t sing, but she’s only 6, so it’s okay. • And the Witch Lady found them? • Cindel’s the only one who hears the voice calling her name? • Oh.  I hope that wasn’t a chamber pot. • Oh, now they hear the voice! • Again, Cindel is far too trusting.  I know she’s a kid, but still. • Yeah, how do you explain technology to people who only know about magic? • What exactly was in that water?  Alien Piranha? • Are they playing Sabbec? • Cindel!  Don’t you know when to be quiet!? • Well, that was a clever stunt. • Heh.  I see what you did there, movie.  Nice continuity in hearing the guards crying out when he cut the rope. • Noa, I don’t think it’s your place to put Wicket in charge of the Ewoks.  After all, his parents and brothers are probably there. • And the Ewoks now know how to use space cruiser guns? • Though I do like how the design of the gunner seats are similar to that of the Millennium Falcon.  It finally feels like a Star Wars movie. • Ah.  I guess that one is Deej. • Wow.  Sword vs staff. • Though what is that head carving on Noa’s staff supposed to be?   • Welp, that’s the end of that. • Oh, now Cindel is crying.  She didn’t cry when her family were murdered, but she cries when she’s saying goodbye to Wicket? • So Teek lives with the Ewoks now?

The Force Awakens Notes-

• Yeah, that makes sense.  Enough people looked at what the Empire did and said ‘yes, that was a brilliant idea!’ • Nice effect of the ship obscuring the planet there. • And there’s BB-8. • So, are we supposed to recognize this old man? • I almost commented on how this was the first time we saw blood in a Star Wars film, but I guess we kinda saw blood in A New Hope, when Obi Wan chopped off that guy’s arm. • So, what’s the story with this guy?  I get the feeling he was an old friend of the family.  Did he frequently have dinner with them? • I remember instantly liking this guy.  It’s the first time we saw a Stormtrooper, or any member of the Empire, having a reaction to what they were doing.  (Though the original Stormtroopers were all supposed to be clones of Jango Fett.) • So, was there a big battle on Jakku that we never knew about?  Considering there are all these crashed Star Destroyers lying around. • Wow.  That’s a really cool way to make food. • And an AT-AT Walker, too?  What happened on this planet? • How do people understand the beeps and whistles? • Does Poe know who this guy really is? • I see you cleaned the blood off your helmet. • Think I heard a Wilhelm Scream! • So these guys were raised from infancy, I guess?  Since they’ve only ever had numbers and not actual names. • I guess Luke’s name is even known throughout all of the First Order? • Were these the sinking sands that Rey was talking about? • I wonder how long he’s been walking through the desert. • Was there ever a headcount of how many applauded when the Millennium Falcon first appeared? • That was a risky maneuver! • Anger management, dude! • Also, I notice they mentioned the Falcon is a Corellian freighter.  Not many people acknowledge that. • Hehe.  The thumbs up from BB-8 • Hi, Han and Chewbacca!  Long time, no see! • A Raptar?   • Trillian Massacre? • Also, was there ever a book about how Han lost the Falcon? • Okay, cinematically, I get why these things didn’t eat Finn right away, but why didn’t he get eaten immediately like those other guys? • And they reveal who Kylo is in the middle of the film. • I think you impressed Han, Rey. • Heeee!  The holographic chess board! • This looks like a nice planet to live on! • So he knows Finn isn’t really in the Resistance. • What do you mean, she’s an acquired taste?  I loved Maz instantly! • Has nobody told this punk that Grandpa Anakin/Vader changed his mind and turned against the Dark Side? • So, what exactly triggers this vision of Rey’s?  Is it the fact that Finn leaving is making her remember how she ended up on Jakku? • How did Maz find the lightsaber?  Didn’t Luke lose it on Bespin? • They really love their Death Stars, don’t they? • Did Chewbacca ever use that thing before? • I think there was a book explaining the backstory between Finn and this other Stormtrooper. • Personally, I would have had the reveal that Poe survived be a bit more dramatic • So the Force can knock someone out now? • Ah, the Leia theme! • Oh, shut up, 3PO! • How long has it been since they saw each other? • Why were people apparently in an uproar over Leia not hugging Chewbacca?  She just did! • Awww.  I love the relationship between Poe and BB-8. • R2! • Who is this Snoke, anyway? • Bwaaahaahaa!  Kylo’s actual face looks weird.  This is the kind of face you’d think would be filled with acne. • I wonder what Rey’s Midichlorian count would be. • I LOVE THE STORMROOPERS’ REACTION!!!!! They’re like NOPE! • Hey, it’s Admiral Akbar!  And is that Nien Nunb? • Heh.  I kinda like how Han has become a believer in the Force. • Like that callback to A New Hope. • After all these years, they still use the same red alert sound? • When did Rey learn how to speak Wookiee?  Is it just because of her heightened Force Sensitivity? • Okay, I know that one character is Carrie Fisher’s daughter.  I wonder if she’ll play a larger role in Episode 9…. • Nice touch, showing Leia feeling Han’s death through the Force. • How exactly did they get ahead of them? • Interesting touch.  When the two lightsabers touch, it turns purple.  Nice attention to detail. • So now, the old Luke theme is Rey’s theme? • That’s cool, how she’s using the terrain in the fight. • Wait, why is the planet splitting apart again? • Oh, the fuel cells?  Was that because of Chewbacca’s bombs? • So, what exactly triggered R2 to wake up? • Is that someone’s grave?  Whose is it? • Hello, again, Luke!

The Last Jedi notes-

• The first time the Text Crawl is virtually pointless.  Absolutely no time has passed since the last movie. • Heh.  Is Poe just messing with him?  Ah, yes he is. • Haha.  Nice bit of humor with BB-8. • Okay, I get where Poe is coming from, but I think he’s letting his pride get the better of him here. • Yeah, they scored a victory, but at a cost. • Wow, that was an abrupt way to wake up from a coma. • Was nobody in the medical bay to stop Finn from walking around aimlessly? • Hahaha. • And the Porgs. • I just thought.  What did Luke do with his ROTJ lightsaber?  The one with the green blade?   • Oh, is it inside the submerged X-Wing? • Did Luke not sense Han’s death? • Seriously, did no one tell this guy that Vader turned good in the end? • Well, if you didn’t want to be found, then who created the map? • Oh, is that where the blue milk comes from?  These creatures? • That’s a big fish! • Is this the moment when Luke first realized Rey was Force Sensitive? • That’s a fair question, Luke.  Your sister and everyone else deserves an explanation. • Admiral Akbar! • Well, they did foreshadow this in Rouge One.  They had a file dedicated to Hyperspace Tracking in the Imperial database. • Oh, Leia and Kylo are sensing each other’s presence. • Mouse Droid! • Okay, this is an awkward scene, considering Carrie Fisher’s death. • Super Leia! • Haha!  Chewbacca and the Porgs. • This is a nice reunion! • Love the callback! • So they killed Admiral Akbar off-screen? • I don’t like Holdo. • Okay, first time I saw this, I wondered if that bomber who sacrificed herself was Rose’s girlfriend or something.  But they turned out to be sisters. • Hi, Maz. Bye Maz. • So they can communicate through the Force now? • I like the Caretaker Nuns. • Haha!  Luke, you nerd! • So, this island has a similar area to that cave on Dagobah? • Oh, so that’s why he didn’t sense Han’s death, then? • That is a good question. • Oh!  The rain crossed over! • Space horses! • Tragic backstory unlocked. • HAHAHA! • Luke does have a point.  The Jedi Counsel overlooked quite a lot. • Wait, so this guy could open the cell door at any time? • I can’t be the only one who is reminded of Trico when I see these guys. • So you killed your father because he was holding you back?  Is that what I’ve heard? • It’s like being in one of those mirrored elevators. • What is touching fingers supposed to do? • Yeesh. What a tangled web. • YODA! • Nice bit of wisdom from Yoda. • Wow, this movie is giving me whiplash. • Well, if they’d just TOLD HIM THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!! • Okay, who even was Snoke? • Well, that was anti-climactic. • Dawww.  I want a crystal fox! • Awww, I love Poe and BB-8’s bond. • Millennium Falcon! • Does Chewbacca keep that Porg? • He just said that, dude! • Well, okay for you, girl.  But now everyone’s gonna die! • Okay, that scene is kinda hard to watch, considering…. • Haha.  That was cool! • Oh, NOW you figure that out! • Oh, they’re both sensing Luke dying? • Didn’t they already meet? • And there are the Jedi texts. • So now what?

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SW Rey Theory - Legacy of Light - Chapter 13

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(~17 years after Revenge of the Sith, beginning of Rebels season 4)

           Ezra tried to focus on the people in front of him. These were important people to Sabine and to the future of this planet. After helping them restore Mandalore back to the Visla clan, he’d noticed Rex wander away from the group. Something about the way he’d carried himself had bothered him. There was a weight on his shoulders that the veteran soldier had shown only once before; when they’d returned from Malachor without Ahsoka. No words had really needed to be spoken about what happened there. Everyone knew. She’d sacrificed herself to help them get away, but Ezra had never told anyone what he’d overheard between her and Vader.

           He’d been her master. He’d been the Jedi knight that everyone had admired and told stories about, but he’d turned to the dark side. Scared as he had been in his shadow, he’d still felt the pain of what that truth meant to her. Knowing she was dead was bad enough but knowing who had killed her… so much worse. Now as he watched Rex walk slowly with his head down towards a burned forest, he was certain he’d known the truth of who Vader was too. If he’d served with Ahsoka, surely he’d also served with Anakin Skywalker. Certain the people in front of him were too busy to notice his absence, Ezra slipped away to follow him.

           Rex dropped to his knees near a stump in the middle of the now bare land. It wasn’t easy to make out what he was looking at from this far away, but Ezra could feel his pain. He snuck as close as he could without the captain knowing he was there, so he could hear what he was saying. What had happened here? He’d said the first time they met that he’d fought alongside Ahsoka until the Siege of Mandalore, so this must have been the last and possibly the worst, battle he’d experienced of the Clone Wars.

           “I’m sorry, Ahsoka,” he was saying, his voice tight and full of emotion. “I failed you. I should have gone with you. Why did I let you face him alone?” Rex sighed, his shoulders dropping. He bent over, placing his hands on the ground. “I’ve looked for her everywhere, kept my ears open for her, but I’ve heard nothing. I hope that’s a good thing. If I haven’t heard of her, that means the Empire hasn’t either. At least I hope that’s what it means. Although after losing you, I wanted to track her down.”

           Ezra listened in confusion. Who was Rex talking about? He didn’t know a lot about Ahsoka, but the way Rex spoke, this girl meant something to her. And apparently meant a lot to Rex too. She might even be in danger.

           “You and Anakin were my closest friends; my family,” Rex sobbed. “Your daughter is all that’s left of both of you.” Ezra’s eyes widened in surprise. Ahsoka had a daughter! “But I know, going after her would only put her in danger. Ashla doesn’t need a life full of war. I understand now why you kept her away from all of this. I promise you, like I did then. If I find her, I will protect her with my life.”

           Ezra ducked behind the broken husks of the remaining trees as Rex stood and headed back towards the group. He watched him go, his mind reeling. Ahsoka had a child. Once Rex had disappeared out of sight, he moved over to where he’d been kneeling. There was a mound of dirt, that probably would have had flowers or grass over it by now had this planet not been so horribly devastated by all this war. At the head near the stump was a small stone marker. He brushed his hand across it, wiping away the ash and grime.

           Here lies Captain Rex, the brave clone that killed Jedi General Ahsoka Tano. Buried with her lightsabers as proof of the deed.

           He stared at the grave marker in disbelief. So that’s how Ahsoka had survived Order 66. She and Rex had faked their deaths to throw the Empire off their trail. Ezra dropped to his knees and started digging. He knew he wouldn’t find either of their bodies, but his hands closed around what he’d been searching for. He pulled up her lightsabers. He’d heard what Rex had said about keeping Ahsoka’s daughter away from the war, that was fine. He knew if someone had stumbled on something that belonged to either his mom or his dad, he’d want them to try and return it. Ashla deserved to know about her mother’s heroism. As he stared down at Ahsoka’s old lightsabers in his hands, he had the strongest sense that he needed to take these to her. He didn’t understand why, but he knew he did. These belonged in her hands, not buried in the ground as a forgotten relic of a horrible war.

           He stood up, feeling a new sense of purpose. If Ashla was still out there, he would find her. He had to find her. It was the only way he could assuage the guilt he felt over Ahsoka’s sacrifice to protect him, Kanan and the future of the rebellion. If he was supposed to take these to her, hopefully the force would help him find her.

 --- 

             Ashla wiped her hands on her dress and stepped outside. Blinking as she looked in the distance where she’d heard the sound. Since she’d been at the enclave only two ships had come and gone, and that was in several years. She closed her eyes, reaching out with her senses. Whatever or whoever it was didn’t feel dangerous, but she didn’t recognize it either. 

            She missed her mother. She’d gotten so used to talking to her nearly every night that whenever anything new happened her first thought was to tell her. She couldn’t now though, she’d been silent for nearly eighteen months. But who was counting? She didn’t want to believe Ahsoka was dead… but the memories of the last thing she remembered had scarred her senses. For a moment she’d almost believed that she’d felt both her mother and father, but that didn’t make any sense. Her father was dead, and she feared… so was her mother now. 

            She felt compelled to move towards the sound. It was almost like there was music. It sounded like a song. Not one that she was hearing with her ears, it was as though she felt it. What could it mean? The closer she got to the source, the more powerful the feeling. 

            She paused behind a tree as the landing hatch opened and the light from inside cast the forest in a bright glow. Someone moved down the ramp to the bottom and looked around. She studied him curiously. He seemed to be about her age. In the light his hair seemed bluish. He wore bright orange clothes, and he definitely didn’t seem to mind attention on himself; because he sure stood out like a flame in the dark of the night. He stumbled a little stepping off the ramp and recovered himself as though trying to laugh it off even though nobody but her was watching. She smiled.

            The song she was hearing seemed to be coming from him, or something he was holding. She moved trying to get a better look and snapped a branch. He looked up suddenly and she ducked behind the tree breathing heavy. “It’s okay,” he said, but she held her breath. “I’m not here to hurt anyone. I’m looking for someone named Ashla.”

            Her eyes widened in surprise. Who besides her uncle knew she was here? Who was this kid? She took a deep breath feeling in the force for what she should do. Could she trust him? Her mother had told her time and time again to be cautious; to not reveal herself or give away her identity. 

            “I just want to give her something that belonged to her mother,” he spoke again. He was strong in the force too. She closed her eyes breathing hard. This boy knew her mom. But right before stepping out she remembered that her mother had told her countless times that her presence would put her in danger. That people would want her because of who her parents were. Her curiosity was burning though. What did he have of hers? She needed to know. 

            Forgive me, mom. I have to know. She took a deep breath trying to calm her nerves and stepped out boldly from behind the tree. The boy looked up at her in surprise, but he didn’t draw a weapon.

            “Ashla?” She nodded numbly and he smiled, but then his expression turned sad. “I brought these for you… I thought… well I thought you’d want them.” He pulled two unusual looking metal things out of his pack. The song she’d been hearing was suddenly louder. “And… I think she would have wanted you to have them.”

            “You knew my mother?” she breathed, still struggling to comprehend being face to face with someone that made her mom real. She believed she’d been really talking to her through the force. Sometimes it had felt like she was really there, but she didn’t have any physical memories of her; only visions and dreams. This kid… he’d really talked to her, been around her; maybe even hugged her. She dropped to her knees, tears streaming down her face. She felt a rush of emotion at the longing she’d always had for her presence. Not just in the force; but something real; physical, tangible. 

            “Oh, please don’t cry!” he stumbled forward and kneeled down in front of her. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.” She looked up at him unable to stop herself. “Look, see? These were your mother’s lightsabers. Well, her original ones I guess,” he put the metal things in her hands and she looked down at them blankly. 

            “Lightsabers?” she finally managed, turning them over in her hands. They were unlike any mechanical thing she’d ever seen. They had a feeling to them, like they were meant for her. The song she’d been hearing had stopped the moment he’d given them to her. As though that act sealed that they were where they belonged. 

            “You know what a lightsaber is, right?” he asked. 

            She shook her head, “I’ve heard of them, but I’ve never seen one.” 

            “Oh well, that’s because… Well never mind. Here let me show you.” He stood up and stepped away. She saw him pull something from his belt and turn it on. She leapt back in surprise as a long stream of green energy erupted from the end of it. To her surprise, it didn’t keep going like it had been fired. It just hung there, humming in the force. She stood up, looking it over in confusion. “No don’t touch,” he said as she reached her hand out. She pulled it back and looked at him. “It’s sharper than a knife and it will burn you. Here, throw a rock at me.” 

            “What?” she asked, furrowing her brow. “I can’t do that, it’s rude.” 

            He chuckled, “It’s okay, really. It won’t hurt me.” She bit her lip.

            “Are you sure?”

            “Yeah.” 

            “Okay,” she said reluctantly and picked up a stone from a few feet away, tossing it at him lightly; still unsure of this plan. He swung his lightsaber slicing through it. She ran to where the parts fell and inspected them. The rock had been cleanly split in half. And where it had been cut was hot to the touch. “Whoa,” she whispered in awe. She ran back to where she’d dropped the ones he’d given her. She ran her fingers over them inspecting the craftsmanship of how they’d come together. 

            “This button will turn it on and this knob will adjust the length of the blade.” He pointed out the parts to her. She pressed the on button and he leapt away as it narrowly missed him.

            “Sorry!” she said. 

            “It’s okay,” he grinned up at her from where he was leaning on his elbows. “They can be a little tricky to get the hang of. I remember it well.” 

            She moved it around, waving it. She was entranced by the way it danced in the air and felt in her hands. One of them was larger, but not uncomfortable to hold. The other one was a smaller version of it. She turned the other one on and held them in her hands. These were her mother’s. At some point in her life, she’d felt the same thing she was feeling now; a sense of belonging to something bigger. 

            She closed her eyes and moved through the force with them in her hand, feeling as though they were guiding her hands to know just where to turn or strike. She heard him turn his back on. 

            “Care for a duel?” he asked. She looked up to see him smirking. "Don't worry, I'll go easy on you." 

            If her mother could wield these, so could she. She nodded to him, hiding her smile. She watched him carefully as he leapt around, moving and feinting as though to distract her. She stared unblinkingly at his movements, feeling the way it disturbed the force around him. She dropped low to the ground as all her senses were on high alert; feeling the path ahead. She felt a sense of strength and speed fill her, so she leapt forward spinning first to swing at him. He stumbled back in surprise and ducked as she swung the other one back around. 

            “Wow,” he said as he got his up to block her, but had to leap out of the way of the second saber. “For not knowing what a lightsaber was a few minutes ago, you sure picked it up fast.” He sounded a little breathless.

            “I don’t know how to explain it,” she said. “It’s like they’re guiding me. As though they’re alive.” She spun them in her hands. 

            “Well they kind of are. I mean not a living thing, but the kyber crystals that power them are strongly connected to the cosmic force. You know about the force, right?”

            “Yes. Do these kyber crystals… do they sing?” she asked and then blushed furiously. He stopped fighting and looked at her. 

            “They do, yes. Supposedly only the person they belong to can hear them. So no one else would hear the one mine made. Why? Have you already heard it?”

            “These were singing to me,” she looked down at the weapons in her hands. “That’s the sound I followed to find you.”

            “Then I guess I was right about bringing them to you,” he murmured, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “I thought I was crazy, but it felt like the right thing to do.”

            “My mother didn’t send you?” She felt heavy again. What had she expected? That this boy had come to get her and take her home?

            “I’m sorry, no,” he whispered. “Your mother… she’s dead.” Sorrow seeped into her soul. It couldn’t be true. It can’t be! She had to still be out there. She looked up at him pleadingly as though he could simply unsay the words and that would bring her back. “But she died a hero!” he exclaimed as if that made it okay. “She saved us, and her sacrifice gave us a fighting chance against the horrible Empire.”

            The Empire, she nearly spat. She was no fan of it either, but it had taken everything from her. It was the reason she didn’t get to know her mother or father. It was the reason her uncle had dropped her here so he didn’t have to look over his shoulder everywhere they went. It was the reason she couldn’t show her true powers. The reason she had to keep her head down. In that moment, she didn’t care about the Empire. Or the rebellion or even the war. All she wanted was justice, for her life and for her parents. 

            “You should be proud to be her daughter,” he tried to comfort her. “She was an amazing warrior for good. She made the rebellion possible. Without her, we’d be floundering in our own little corners of the galaxy making no difference. She gave us a fighting chance.” Her chest was tight. She wanted to be proud, but pride in her wouldn’t bring her back. Her mom was amazing simply because of who she was. She looked up at him, feeling angry. Not at him, at the universe; at the force. 

            “Who killed her?” she asked darkly. Her hands balled into fists around the lightsabers still clutched in them. 

            “I wish it wasn’t so either!” he said quickly. “But revenge is a dangerous path. It leads to the dark side.” 

            “Who killed her?” she asked again, eyes narrowing defiantly. 

            “A Sith lord,” he said hesitantly. “Darth Vader. Apparently he was once her master; Anakin Skywalker.”

            She looked up at him in surprise, forgetting the anger for a moment. “What did you say?”

            “Darth Vader was once her master…” he repeated. “Anakin Skywalker.”

            “I know that name,” she breathed, sitting down hard. 

            “Well… I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve heard of him. He was once a Jedi Knight. The most powerful one they’d ever seen. He was a hero during the Clone Wars.”

            “No that’s not why…” she shook her head confused. The puzzle pieces were slowly coming together. Anakin Skywalker was… her father… And he was alive… That’s why she’d felt them both when she’d last felt her mother. She could still feel her mother’s pain at finding out the truth of what he’d become. No wonder her mom had been so protective of her. She was the daughter of two powerful Jedi; and one of them, had turned into a monster…

 ---

             “Mom?” Ashla whispered from her knees on the forest floor. She reached deep into the force trying to find her. “I know you’re out there.” The tears fell freely as though she had no control. The boy, who’d introduced himself as Ezra Bridger had gone back inside his ship. He said he’d give her some time as though that could heal the words he’d spoken to her or the pain she felt right now. “Someone told me you are dead, but I don’t believe them.” She rubbed her fingers over the lightsabers in her hands. “He gave me your old lightsabers, from back when you were a Jedi. I should feel closer to you now, but I can’t find you anywhere. I search for you every day. I know you’re trying to reach me too; from wherever you are. I hope there’s just something blocking us and that what he said isn’t true. I heard the song from the crystals in your swords. He told me only the person they belong to can hear them, but that can’t be right. They belong to you, not me. Unless they know I’m your daughter.” 

            Even though she didn’t get a response anymore, imagining talking to her mother soothed her. “I don’t want to hate my father for what he did, or what he became. But if it’s true that he’s alive… part of me wants to find him. Trust me, I know it’s a bad idea; but I want to. He’d never accept me, I know that. You told me he didn’t know the truth. This boy offered to teach me how to use the lightsabers. I don’t know if it’s what you would have wanted. You taught me all about the force, but never how to fight. I know I was stubborn sometimes, but I promise I was listening. I listened to everything you told me. I wanted to make you proud. I hope if you are gone… you knew that. I miss you mom!” she dropped her hands to the ground as she was rocked by another sob. “I wish I was stronger, like you.” 

            She felt a hand on her back and looked up tearfully at Ezra who had sat down next to her. She threw her arms around his neck, burying her face in him. It had startled him, but he pulled her tighter to him. “I’m sorry, Ashla,” he whispered. She wanted to tell him it was okay, but it wasn’t okay. She didn’t feel okay. “Your mom was amazing. I wish you could have seen her fight.”

            She looked up at him, “What was she like?” 

            “She was quiet and kind. Patient and a strong mentor; wise beyond her years. She was confident and radiated light. She always put the needs of others first. She inspired everyone around her to work hard and remember what we were fighting for,” he said thoughtfully.

            “I wish I could have known her,” she said sadly, resting her head on his chest again. Really known her. “Was she beautiful?” She didn’t want to tell Ezra about the way they had talked in the force. Even though he was probably the first person in her life that might have understood. It felt too personal right now though, and even though she knew exactly what her mom looked like, she wanted to know how other people saw her.

            “Very,” he said. “She lit up every room she walked into. Kind of like you actually.” 

            “But we haven’t been in a room,” she laughed. 

            “Well… you light up every forest you walk into,” he sounded flustered.

            “Are you flirting with me, Ezra Bridger?” she smirked at him. 

           “Um…” he ran his fingers through his short hair. “Is it okay with you if I am?” She looked up at him critically. He had really interesting blue eyes, thick eyebrows and several scars on his cheek. But he was good looking. Not that it mattered that much to her. He had a kind heart, she could tell that much. 

            “Yeah, it’s okay,” she smiled.

Next Chapter - >

[snowstcrm]

Honestly Rey being either a Skywalker or a Solo has been dead for such a long time now, not only because of all the hints that those involved with the production have been dropping to disprove the theories, but because the canon timeline doesn’t allow for it without completely compromising the original trio’s integrity.

In Bloodline, a canon novel revolving around Leia taking place around six years before TFA, we learn that Ben was travelling with Luke up until it was exposed to the public that Leia was the daughter of Darth Vader. She had (understandably) wanted to take this secret to the grave, but the news had left everyone in shock-- especially Ben who had no prior knowledge to being Vader’s grandson. He must have been devastated and confused, causing him to fall to the dark side during a moment of weakness.

Rey Solo is not only dead because neither Han nor Leia recognized their daughter in TFA, but throughout Bloodline Leia gives no hints to having ever had another child. Her thoughts always lead to Han or Ben, and when the news of Vader broke out, she rushed to send a message to Ben trying to explain it to him before anyone else got the chance to. She never thought about a supposed second child. Again this book is canon material and there would be some major continuity errors if the thought of her ‘lost daughter’ never crossed her mind.

Rey Skywalker is also dead with Bloodline because Rey was abandoned on Jakku roughly 15 years ago, whereas the destruction of Luke’s temple and Ben’s defection happened only 6 years ago. If Rey was Luke’s daughter, that would mean he abandoned her on a dangerous planet and then continued to research Jedi lore and train Ben, his nephew. It makes absolutely no sense and compromises Luke’s character. I know-- and expect, Luke to be far more cynical  and morally grey in TLJ, but that’s because his confidence in himself has been shattered from his failures and Ben’s fall to the dark side.

These theories have been dead for so long and I’m not sure why they’re still so largely accepted in the fandom. I now that most fans tend to stick to just watching the films, but even if that’s the case, TFA itself makes it quite clear she isn’t related to our former heroes.

[mistical52]

Exchange

Star Wars Fanfic

Part of a series of time travel oneshots (Time Force Continuum)

Summary: A rebel loth-cat and a snippy padawan swap places. Only one of them didn’t exactly go to the right spot.

- - -

Everything was way too bright. Sunshine streamed through the tent, glaring at Ezra through the gap in the material door. The boy was about to roll over and go back to sleep, only he didn’t remember going to sleep in a tent. He could have sworn that he laid down in his bunk with Zeb snoring below. Edging up Ezra fingered his lightsaber as he felt out around him. There were a lot of people outside the tent, bustling around and yelling commands. It sounded like the rebel base, only slightly different. Suddenly Ezra’s senses touched a blinding light in the force. The boy instantly recalled his presence and hid himself under layers of shielding, hiding as best as he could. Despite the fact that the light was so easy and warm Ezra was so used to hiding from anything remotely force sensitive and he wasn’t about to let go of the habit that had kept him alive for so long. Ezra stiffened and stood up, the presence was coming towards him, karabast! Unhooking his lightsaber Ezra scanned for an exit, though theoretically the whole structure was an exit, it was just material and he could easily cut through it with a single swipe of his sabre. Unfortunately downing a tent in a populated camp would surely be noticed. Ezra saw the shadow of a looming being and for a second he though he heard a cold harsh hiss of Vader’s respirator.

The tall man tore back the floppy excuse for a door and stared with wide eyes at Ezra for the briefest moment before his surprisingly young face morphed into a dark scowl. “Where is Ahsoka?” The man asked. Everything about this guy screamed ‘do not mess with’ from his posture to his voice, even his force presence. “Who?” “Don’t play games with me. One moment Ahsoka was here and the next she’s gone and you’re in her place. Who are you and what have you done with my padawan?!” The man growled stalking a step closer to Ezra. The man did look familiar, Ezra knew he’d seen him before but he couldn’t recall where. “Anakin!” Another voice snapped, “He’s just a boy!” The other voice said as the man with a well-trimmed beard came into view. “This boy is where Ahsoka should be!” Exclaimed the taller man gesturing roughly to Ezra. “Master Skywalker?” Ezra asked finally recognizing the man. Ezra only vaguely noticed how Anakin’s head snapped towards the rebel. “And Master Kenobi?” Ezra felt weak in the knees, he was so glad that it wasn’t an enemy. The rebel sat back heavily in the bed and ran his hand over his recently cut hair, “I must be having a dream. Or a vision, like the one of Yoda. And you’re alive! Well, of course you’re alive.” Started Ezra gesturing loosely to Obi-wan, “You sent out the message. But Master Skywalker, I thought you were dead. Everyone thinks you dead. Ahsoka thought you were dead.” The last part was quiet. He couldn’t, Ahsoka, the loss was still too fresh.

Ezra’s mind quickly switched gears and he jumped up with a smile on his face, “Kanan will be so happy to know that you’re alive! Maybe you can help him. He, hasn’t been much of himself lately … Though I’m sure with other Jedi around he’ll feel a whole lot better. I try my best but there’s not a lot I can do.” Ezra gave another excited jump and continued, not actually paying attention to the confused looks the two Jedi shared, “And the Rebellion! If you two helped I know we could turn the tides! We’d finally be able to defeat the Empire and bring back peace!”

  ~~~

  Everything was way too dark. The black depth was dotted with the occasional red specks that, to Ahsoka, indicated a storage facility. The low rumbling of the engines tried to lull her back to sleep. But the cold darkness, more than just the inky shadows around her, squeezed at her heart and yanked at her force senses. It was like the stain of Dooku, only worse, much, much worse and way too close for her liking. The whole ship reeked of the Dark side. In fact, Ahsoka’s breath hitched, whoever the fiery darkness belonged to was still on board. She hastily clamped down on her presence, hushing it till it was hopefully dull enough to seem like just another crew member. Slipping off the crates she had been sleeping on Ahsoka tried to get her bearings. At the present she had no idea where she was. Last time the Togruta checked she had dropped down onto her bed in the 501st and the 212th’s campsite. Someone would have woken her if they had to move and they certainly wouldn’t have dumped her in a storage hanger if they couldn’t. Ahsoka snuck around and scouted out the area. Judging by the hum of the engines they were probably in hyperspace, and on a rather large ship. Though the last judgment partially came from the sheer size of the storage hanger. It was huge, the ship was at least the size of a Republic Cruiser. Skulking around the larger crates and the tall shelves Ahsoka found out where the door was, and the fact that there was only one door. There were also a couple of vents she could get into if she climbed the shelves and had a force assisted jump. But Ahsoka would rather not climb into the vents unless she had to. She didn’t know this ship and if it was a big as she though it was then it was likely she’d get lost. The Togruta reached out subtly, as to not draw the attention of the darksider beast, and tried to grab her master’s attention. Ahsoka couldn’t feel him. She couldn’t feel the vast light that was her master, all she could feel was the dark burning that drenched the ship in the colder side of the force. The padawan tried Obi-wan as well but the darkness stifled the bond to her grandmaster. Frustration and a hint of fear bubbled up but Ahsoka quickly let them out with her next breath.

Suddenly the room felt much colder as the only doors hissed open. Ahsoka hid, jumping silently behind a stack of crates and stifling her breath. Harsh light spilled into the inky depths of the hanger. The force was so cold yet at the same time that burning darkness was horrifically close. The Jedi learner dimmed her force presence to nothing as the hiss of a respirator echoed on the walls. “I know you’re in here. Come out.” A deep baritone voice hung in the air. He was, nothing was supposed to be this cold, nothing should be this dark. Oh sweet force what had she walked into? Ahsoka clenched her teeth and tried ease down her nerves. The darksider, Sith, he was definitely a Sith what else could hold that much darkness? Wasn’t alone, there were other beings outside the blast doors, probably waiting in case she tried to run. The shadows were weighing down on her, trying to drown her. She had to get out.

Ahsoka smoothly ran and leapt, latching onto one of the towering shelves before scaling it silently with ease. Using the force she wrenched open a vent and launched herself up towards it, the force boosting her movements. As Ahsoka jumped something tugged at her ankle, pulling her off balance and forcing her to dive back down to the floor. The all-powerful essence cushioned her improvised landing. Rolling to keep her momentum the Togruta whipped out her sabres, igniting them and stood battle ready. Ahsoka didn’t know how long she’d last but if she was going to go out, it was going to be fighting.  

  ~~~

  “The Empire?” Obi-wan asked while his former padawan took an entirely different route. “Ahsoka thinks I’m dead?” “Yeah, you’ve been missing for” Ezra quickly counted, “sixteen years.” Anakin gawked, “That’s not possible.” “Anakin’s right, he hadn’t even joined the order then. I believe you have us confused with another pair.” Ezra shook his head, what where they getting at? “The Negotiator and the Hero with No Fear right? Rex and Cody are your commanding troopers and Ahsoka was Master Skywalker’s padawan.” There was only a small beat of silence as a light scowl crept across Anakin’s face. “What do you mean was?” “Don’t you remember, she, left the order.” Now Ezra was confused, why didn’t Master Skywalker remember something so important? Before the taller man could cry out his disbelief the tent flap was opened and Rex slipped in. Ezra flinched at the white armour and his fingers twitched towards his sabre.   “I’m sorry Generals but we’ve got a schedule to keep, you can’t just keep talking to the Commander all day.” The Clone only had eyes for Anakin and Obi-wan before he turned to Ezra. The only outward sign of Rex’s surprise was how he stiffened ever so slightly. “Rex?” Ezra started joy radiating from his as he recognising the clone’s markings, “What are you doing here? Why didn’t you tell us these two were alive?!” The Rebel stepped towards the Clone feeling more at ease with a familiar person.

 “I’m sorry kid but who are you?” Rex asked, he didn’t expect to be recognised by a Jedi outside of the handful he knew. The kid was probably a learner still, but that still begged the question, where was Commander Tano? “It’s me Ezra Bridger. Don’t tell me you ran into a pipe again.” The boy said with a smirk, like he knew him. Rex bristled, he ran into a pipe that one time and everyone gossips about that embarrassing moment? “Look kid, sir I have never met you before.” Rex responded honestly, choosing to not even acknowledge the pipe comment. The orange cladded kid folded his arms with a playful smile, “Yeah right. Still Rex you should have told Hera or Kanan that you knew some other Jedi.” Rex sighed, he didn’t know what was going on but he was curtain that it was Jedi business. The Captain pulled off his helmet and looked the kid in the eyes, “K-Sir I have never met you before.” In an instant the boy jumped back and ignited his lightsaber. Staring straight at Rex he opened his mouth, “Who are you?!” Every instinct Rex had was screaming at him to defend himself but he pushed past that as he heard the hiss of General Skywalker’s sabre, “You said it before kid, I’m Captain Rex of the Five’o-First.” Rex said calmly holding his free hand up, “I may know your name now sir, but I still don’t know who you are. So would you like to tell us how you seem to know me?”

 “You’re not Rex. You’re not the Rex I know. But, he, he was the Captain of the Five’o-First and he was friends with Ahsoka. And he knew and worked under Master Skywalker.” Ezra’s head was spinning, what in the name of the force was going on?! “He also told good stories about his brother Cody and Master Kenobi, and the battles of the Clone Wars.” Ezra took in a shaky breath as Anakin slid in front of Rex, keeping his Captain safely behind him. “You, you sound like him, you talk like him, in the force you feel like him, you have the Jaig eyes on your helmet in the same colour. It’s the same kriffing helmet too. You just don’t look like him.” Ezra deactivated his lightsaber and tried to take in calming breaths, he was panicking and he knew it. Something just didn’t feel right, something just felt wrong. “This isn’t a dream is it.” Ezra whispered.

 His General noticed that the kid was panicking and lowered his weapon slightly and once the boy switched his off so did Skywalker. Rex’s General slowly edged closer to the boy clearly not sure what to do. Captain Rex on the other hand slipped right by General Skywalker and gently grabbed the boy, Ezra’s shoulder. “Hey kid it’s alright, no one’s gonna hurt you. Here just sit down.” Rex started gently pushing the teen down onto the bed. He’d dealt with some of his brothers having a panic attack, it wasn’t often but sometimes the war got to them. “General can you get Ezra some drinking water?” “Sure.” Responded Anakin putting his long legs to work and hurried out of the tent.

  ~~~

  “Guard the door and monitor the vents. Make sure she can’t escape.” Commanded the thundering voice. The men in white scrambled to obey the Sith’s commands. The men weren’t vod, the armour was wrong it looked flimsy and too clean. Imposter’s then, they were probably planning an attack from behind. Ahsoka had to stop them! That was, if she could get past the looming monster of darkness. The door closed behind the last of the Clone imposters as they hurried about their duties. As soon as the door shut the bay was plunged back into darkness with the only light being the small cargo lights, Ahsoka’s sabres and the Sith’s life support suit. A ghastly breath was drawn in by darksider, “Ahsoka?” Her name was drawn out in that deep voice and it sent a spike of fear down her spine. How did he know her name?! “That’s my name, don’t wear it out.” The snippy padawan snapped, her bravo squashing some of her fear. Ahsoka was about to turn off her lightsabers and use the cover of darkness to hide but the hangers lights suddenly clicked on. The Togruta winced and closed her eyes against the blinding lights then she realised that she was open to attack. Ahsoka jumped back using the force to boost her and guide her. But the padawan nether heard the hiss of a sabre nor felt the danger of an attack. When Ahsoka could open her eyes she found the Sith exactly where he was before, having never moved an inch. He had the perfect opportunity to attack, why didn’t he? Was he waiting for it to be a fair match? Because if he was then he’d have to wait several more years before she would probably even prove a decent opponent. Unless this guy had a low lightsaber aptitude? Ahsoka doubted it. The pawawan shot destress and determination across the bond to her master, hoping that he would figure out she was in trouble. The man, if he could even be called that seemed to stiffen ever so slightly. Did she broadcast her emotions aloud? If so why did he stiffen instead of attacking? And why was he just standing there?

After a cold moment the Sith started to move forward and Tano tensed. The Sith seemed to hesitate then stepped back to where he was. “Ahsoka, what are you doing here?” She’d like to know that herself, “Wouldn’t you like to know, Sith.”

Ahsoka was getting desperate, she didn’t know what this Sith was doing or what his motives were. He hadn’t even tried to kill her and yet he had a ship full of fake vod. Ahsoka knew that whatever his plan was she wouldn’t like it. She needed to contact her master, she needed to warn him about the danger. Ahsoka doubted that she would live through this so she had to make sure that someone knew. The Togruta grabbed the force and pushed past the cold, latching onto the training bond and following it to her master. Skyguy’s end was a bit rough around the edges, which was weird, but it was still there. Ahsoka was so relieved when she found it, and he was so close. Master, there’s another Sith and they’re- But Ahsoka cut herself off when she reached the end and only found that dark burning in the spot where Anakin Skywalker should be. Ahsoka snapped out of the force the world sharply coming into focuses around her. The Togruta barely registered it when she dropped her sabres. The Sith stepped forward arms outstretches as if to steady the teen but he thought better of it and stayed where he was. The fiery darkness was all around her and the padawan hugged herself, as if to shield herself from it. Ahsoka slowly looked up to the Sith with sad pleading eyes, “Master?” It was little more than a croaky whisper. The man didn’t say anything but his silence was conformation enough. Before Ahsoka stood her master, Anakin Skywalker a Sith.

  ~~~

  It wasn’t long before General Skywalker returned with a canteen of water and by then Rex and General Kenobi had managed to calm down the kid a little. “I’m sorry. I realised that I’m not where I’m supposed to be.” Ezra said before taking a drink from the canteen. “That’s an understatement.” Skywalker said folding his arms and raising an eyebrow. “Ezra who is your master?” The older general asked. “Kanan, Kanan Jarrus.” Came Ezra’s instant response. Rex recognised the name, the kid had said it before when he said that Rex should have told him about other Jedi. What did he mean by other Jedi? “You might know him better as Caleb Dume?” Ezra added with a question in his tone. The two Jedi shared a glance, “Do you know him?” General Skywalker asked Obi-wan. Kenobi toyed with his beard, “Yes I know a being in the Temple by that name. Although he is thirteen.” “Thirteen, as in years?” Anakin asked with doubt that could be seen even several klicks away. “That’s the only person. He’s only an initiate.” Informed General Kenobi.

 Ezra chocked on the water he was drinking, “Kanan’s thirteen?” He spluttered. “I wonder what he looks like without his beard?” “If he’s anything like Obi-wan then he’ll look baby faced.” Suggested Anakin with a humorous tone. “Considering he’s younger than me I’d bet.” “If you don’t mind how old are you kid?” Rex asked trying to be polite. “Older than you.” Ezra said with a playful yet snide smirk, “I’m sixteen.”   “If you’re anything like Anakin then I pity your master.” Obi-wan said somewhat mimicking Anakin’s earlier joke. “Hey,” Master Skywalker protected as Kenobi smirked. Rex spoke up, “In my book-” “Experience outranks everything. I know.” Ezra said with an eye roll. He knew Rex’s motto. Both Jedi and Rex looked genuinely surprised. “I’ve worked with the old man a couple of times.” Ezra said with an easy shrug. “Old man?” Rex asked looking half insulted. “Yeah well where, when I come from you have this bushy white beard” Started Ezra gesturing around his own jaw, “and a shaved head with a-” The Rebel froze. He didn’t have the scar. Rex didn’t have the scar from when his chip was removed. Ezra grabbed Rex’s head and twisted it from side to side looking for the scar.

“Karabast!” Ezra cried standing up and letting go of poor Rex’s head, quickly turning to the Jedi, “You have to get it out.” “What?” Asked Master Skywalker. “The chip, you have to get the chip out!” Ezra said starting to get frantic. He didn’t know when the order was activated, for all he knew it could be tomorrow. He couldn’t just let them all die. He couldn’t let Rex and his friends suffer. “Ezra calm down, what chip?” Master Kenobi inquired gently. “The chip. All the clones have chips inside their heads. You have to get them out now!” Rex looked alarmed and Anakin was scowling. “Why do we need to remove them with such haste young one?” Kenobi asked somehow managing to remain neutral. “Because otherwise the Clones will kill the Jedi.” Ezra blurted. A hand sharply took his shoulder and spun him around. “What?” Started Rex, “My brothers and I would never do such a thing. How dare you even-” “Not you the chips! The chips make you and your brothers little more than droids.” Explained Ezra. “And, how would you, know that.” Questioned Rex as he jabbed the Rebel’s chest. “Because Kanan told me. Because you told me, because Ahsoka told me. Because Wolfie and Gregor told me! Because you all watched as it happened.” Ezra cried waving his arms the feelings for those he cared about ringing clear in his voice and through the force. The tent was silent, the only thing that stirred was the breezes that brushed against the material structure.

“You, Gregor and Wolfie removed your chips before the order. But you didn’t manage to convince anyone else.” Bridger started quietly. “What happened to the rest of my brothers?” Came a near whisper from the Captain. “Some died fighting the Jedi, but it was mostly the Jedi who were whipped out. Others stayed in the army and served the Empire. I’m sorry but I don’t know what else happened. I’ve only been told bits from, well mostly you and Kanan with a little from Ahsoka, Wolfie and Gregor.” “So Ahsoka’s fine?” Rex asked. “I.” Ezra couldn’t look at him, he couldn’t look at Master Skywalker or Master Kenobi so he stared at his feet as he shifted them. “She survived the extermination. But, she.” Ezra swallowed trying again and looked straight at Rex. “She died recently saving Kanan and I from a Sith.” The shock and cold emptiness jumped out through the force shaking Ezra’s core. Some of the emotions came from Rex and a little from Kenobi though most of them radiated from Skywalker. “No. She can’t be. She was here only a few minutes ago, how can she be dead?!” Rage and other dark emotions started crawling out from Master Skywalker, “Who killed her?” He snapped. Ezra tried to remain calm, this was to be expected, Anakin Skywalker was Ahsoka’s master after all. “A Sith named Darth Vader.” The Rebel answered. The anger died a little and Master Skywalker faltered, “I, I haven’t heard of a Sith by that name.” “He appeared around the start of the Empire. And he is not someone you want to mess with.” Ezra said as he shuddered. He never wanted to be near Vader again, if he could help it.

  ~~~

  Ahsoka took a step forward. “Master, that’s really you isn’t it.” Ahsoka quickly scooped up her lightsabers and kept gradually moving forward. “Master, where am I?” She asked tenderly. There was a pause for a moment before the huge man answered, “In hyperspace.” The Jedi padawan snorted, “I guessed that. But where are we?” Another pause, was he trying to be dramatic or did he actually need to think about it? “On my flag ship, the Devastator.” He finally replied. “And where are we going?” Ahsoka pressed. “That is none of your concern.” Her master responded. Ahsoka didn’t manage to resist the urge to roll her eyes even as she stepped closer to the dark presence. “Can you at least tell me why you’re, different?” Ahsoka said not being able to stomach the word, Sith. He seemed to carefully consider this question. “The galaxy is no longer the one you left it as. The Clone Wars has finished. It finished almost sixteen years ago.” Ahsoka froze as her stomach churned. Sixteen years, it had been at least sixteen years! “It can’t be. You’re lying.” The padawan tried but she could feel the truth in his words. “I will not lie to you Ahsoka.” Confessed the Sith. “The vod.” Ahsoka started grabbing at her chest, “What about my vod?” She asked as she looked at the dark man with wide imploring eyes. “No longer in service.” Informed her master in that cold voice that echoed throughout the hanger. Her look must have done something though because he master took a step forward gently, “The ones who survived retired.” He elaborated sounding a smidge less harsh. “Did. Did we win?” Ahsoka asked softly. “Yes.” The Togruta let out a small sigh, all of their work, all of the loss had not been for nothing. “Follow me.” The Sith, Ahsoka’s master instructed before turning and walking towards the door. “Do not bother trying to escape, we will be in hyperspace for several more days.” Ahsoka followed, “I could hide from you for longer than that.” The door opened and her master paused tilting his helmet towards her just a fraction. “Do you wish to test that theory?” Once again Ahsoka was reminded that Anakin, the beautiful bright light was now a burning darkness within the force. He was a Sith, she should stop thinking of him as her master.

The fake troopers raised their blasters at her when she exited. “Stand down.” Commanded Skywalker his voice booming through the volocator. “Return to your posts I will deal with the Togruta.” The impostors in white saluted then ran off to their duties.

The hall was quiet with the faint sound of footsteps in the distance. Ahsoka and her master were alone again.   Her master, the Sith started moving again striding down the hall at an impressive speed for someone only walking. “What do I call you? Do you still go by Anakin Skywalker or do you go by something else?” The padawan asked not really wanting the answer. “Anakin Skywalker is dead.” Said the cold voice far too easily, “My title is Darth Vader.” A stiff breath entered Tano’s lungs. This was all one big mess. One impressive pile of poodoo. “What happened to you?” Ahsoka asked softly. For a second she thought her twisted master didn’t hear her, then the armoured man spun around so fast Ahsoka almost tripped backwards. “You left me.” Vader hissed. Ahsoka’s eyes widened, “What, I would never-” Started the padawan, but Darth Vader cut her off. “Padme betrayed me, Obi-wan burnt and maimed me!” The dark lord growled. “No” Ahsoka started to deny, “we would never-” She paused. The young Togruta felt his searing rage through the force. She had felt her master’s anger before but never like this. The padawan didn’t want to believe it, but between the force singing ‘truth’, the wrath behind his words and the sheer power of his fury that expanded though the force she couldn’t be ignorant any longer.   The young Togruta set herself, setting her determination in a new goal. “Well I won’t leave you! Not this time.” Ahsoka ended softly. The man’s rage faltered, if only for a moment. “Say whatever you please youngling, it will make no difference.” Said the Sith with his diminished rage that faded every second. Her master spun on his heels before proceeding down the corridor.

- - -

I hope that you enjoyed! There’s more on my Ao3, sorry that tumblr is behind.

Have an excellent day or night!

[hogwartswelcomesyou]

The Mods Discuss: Severus Snape

Tory: Okay, so first off, I would start with this contention – Snape is a prick, but he’s done some noble things. And more importantly, those traits do not have to be mutually exclusive. 

Star: To me, you can like a character, and still loathe them as a person. Snape in the real world would make me really angry, and he is completely evil, but as a character, he is incredibly well written, super complex and very flawed, but also has a lot of strengths. He’s done some very awful things, but he has also done some good. To me though, the bad outweighs the good.

Tory: Me personally, I wouldn’t say he’s evil – just completely and totally selfish. He has a very narrow and shallow world-view, and that means that he has an underdeveloped sense of empathy for others. I’ve known people like that, and they can definitely be frustrating. I guess it comes down to the question: is a good action done for a bad reason still good?

Star: bullying loads of students and exposing Lupin as a lycanthrope isn’t evil to you? Lupin was never able to find a job after that, and his assigning the paper on werewolves meant Lupin had to read essays from his students describing how to kill him, and he was likely overrun with panic of a student working it out. He also told Voldemort he didn’t care about Harry or James, so long as Lily lived, which is giving Voldy PERMISSION to kill a toddler, who has done nothing to him. As awful as it is, I can kind of understand his willingness to give up James, seeing James was awful to him at least the one time, but LETTING SOMEONE MURDER A BABY? And to answer you Tory, I don’t think so. If there is 0 other option and you absolutely must do something bad to achieve a good end, it’s not as bad, but if you do it out of laziness or inability to think ahead, then no.

Tory: Well, admittedly, the only one who actually finished the werewolf essay was Hermione, but that’s beside the point. I guess for me I personally have difficulty labeling someone as “evil” unless they are beyond redemption or any shred of goodness. Voldemort is evil. Bellatrix is evil. Umbridge is evil. Snape is a piss-poor excuse of a human being, capable of great cruelty and spite, but he also had the ability to love and was capable of great courage and selflessness. I guess for me I just see “evil” as an all-black term, with no potential for moral grayness – and Snape I do see as a gray character. 

Star: okay, so he’s not quite on the level of Umbridge or Voldy, but I still think he’s a gutless person. The fact that Neville is more scared of Snape than Bellatrix (the woman who tortured his parents into insanity!!), says a lot to me. And when it comes to Snape and Lily, i think for him it was more obsession and idolization of a person, I really don’t think it was love. And even if only ONE student completed the essay, he still had to read his best student who could have worked it out and turned him in, explaining how best to kill him, which would scare me silly. 

Tori: I’m also not comfortable labeling someone as evil, but for different reasons. ‘Evil’ is a subjective term that people can manipulate to fit their desires. In everyone’s eyes, the other person is evil. I do understand that there are characters, such as Voldemort, who are written to be the embodiment of evil. However, there were also circumstances that were beyond his control in the first place. (Ex: he had no capability to love.) To me, Snape is not an evil character. He certainly is not good, as we see him time and time again be emotionally abusive to students. I also agree with Star, I don’t think he actually loved Lily, but rather was infatuated with her. Love is an active choice, and Snape actively turned his back on Lily, the people she cared for, and the things that mattered to her. It was only until he realized that his choices were going to lead to her death that he felt remorse. Snape is not a good guy; he’s a jerk with some childish grudges that he needs to learn to let go. He’s also not completely bad either; he’s able to see the error of his ways. I think we as a fandom should stop trying to paint him as absolutely heroic or demonic, and just let him be the multi-faceted complex character that he was. He was man who made very bad decisions, and attempted to atone for them. 

Jinxy: I agree with Tori and Tory. I think that Snape definitely is a morally gray character who truly isn’t evil, but isn’t really good either. He does some awful things, he does some not-so-awful things. He recognizes that he did some bad things, but he was also the person who decided to make those decisions in the first place. He was very cruel to Harry for most of the series, and he’s driven heavily by his feud with James and feelings(?) for Lily. He does some seriously not okay stuff, but we do slowly see him try to correct his wrongdoings. I don’t like Snape as a person, he truly is cruel and mean, no matter what he does to try and fix it. But, as a character, he is one of the most intriguing, complex, characters that I have seen, which is something that I think that the fandom needs to recognize more. Someone can be a terrible person, and still be an interesting, complex character!

MoMo: Snape will always drive me insane. I was never a huge fan of him. He was rude and let his emotions control him and that’s not something I can find myself admiring. However, I’ve seen many arguments supporting his actions due to his past, and not just based upon his desire for Lily; he was abused, and everyone copes with abuse differently. On top of that, he’s sometimes interpreted as a creep, because of how he felt for Lily, but is it really so unreasonable? When she said she didn’t have romantic feelings for him and asked for him to back off, that’s exactly what he did. All he wanted was a friend, and that’s exactly what he never got. I’d be bitter too.

Boudica: Snape…..I definitely have no love for the man. While I support the efforts that where made for the Order where great. Overwhelming it’s a hard no. Everyone who’s ever been abused has a choice to make. How will I move on from my own trauma? Will I break the cycle or continue it? At nearly every point where he could have he didn’t. Color me not impressed.

Tori: I think we’ve come to an agreement that Snape definitely isn’t a good guy. I suppose it boils down to your interpretation of evil. 

Tory: I think that’s fair. To change gears slightly, I actually find the debate about whether or not Snape loved Lily quite compelling. I personally am in the middle – he definitely did not always put Lily’s feelings first, but he did still put a lot on the line solely out of devotion to her and her cause. Coming from someone who has people in my family who love me despite also consistently being self-centered and completely ignorant about my wishes, I could believe that someone can love another person while also not fully understanding everything love entails. And I could also believe that one’s definition of love can change. As an example, Darth Vader tries at first to coax Luke to the Dark Side so they can “rule the galaxy together as father and son” – I would argue in Vader’s self-focused, Dark-Side-corrupted head, he is showing love for his son, because he wants them on the same side, rather than as enemies. Later, however, he learns the true meaning of love when he sacrifices himself to save Luke. Even my own father has tried to pressure me into certain career paths out of misguided love. So I do feel like love can be expressed badly or not always fully understood.

Squish: Hm…Honestly I think everyone has these stages when it comes to Harry Potter (about Snape). The first stage would be hating him because you’ve only read some of the books and you may think he’s evil. The second, would be thinking he’s the hero of the whole thing, which may be true in some way (barely but okay). Finally, realizing that even though he did some good towards the end, he was a total creep who never got over his childhood crush. He even went so far to abuse her son because he reminded Snape of the man she truly loved. I’m sorry if I’m being harsh, but I really don’t like Snape as a character. It’s been brought to my attention of what it might’ve been like if Harry was a female, maybe looking more like Lily. I’m not saying that he would’ve gone as far as what you may be thinking now, but like… imagine. Me personally, think Snape is very messed up as a whole. He even only really helped when he was dying, by the way.

Tori: I think you can definitely care about someone without loving them. Love is not a feeling, it’s a choice, and I think one thing JK Rowling definitely did was challenge the notion of love, and make us analyze whether or not the relationships in Harry Potter were OK. Yes, I think Snape cared about Lily, but he didn’t love her because he never respected her. Respect is the key of any relationship. If you don’t have it, it’s not healthy. 

Jinxy: Maybe it wasn’t love but more of a lust? Desire? Obsession? Long after she dies, he still brings her up. He never really moves on from her, and I think that that’s really unhealthy, both for him and his mental health and for their relationship. I’ll wrap this up by pointing towards that one famous quote: “If you love something, let it go […]” Snape really doesn't do that, does he?

What are your thoughts on Snape? Tell us below! And feel free to let us know if there are other things in the HP universe that you would like to see us discuss! 

[satireknight]

S01E01: Turtle Tracks Part 2 (Electric Boogaloo)

It was getting kinda long, so I’m splitting it.

The Turtles play hardball with April, confirming that they’ll keep her prisoner until they figure out a solution that doesn’t involve them being chased down and experimented on. That sounds a lot more menacing than it is, because this is what it looks like.

Kind of like people waiting for an important phone call.

Eventually Leonardo comes up with a solution: they find the ninja thieves, and she gets to report on it without dragging them into the limelight. It seems a little pointless considering how instantly recognizable they become later in the series, but for now...

And then we get Shredder, the main villain of the series, who apparently sits around in a chair in a high-tech room. He used to have a kitty he stroked, but those blades on his hands made it very messy. And like the series itself, he’s a lot more serious and menacing here than he would later become. He also somehow knows about the Turtles being... well, turtles. I’m not sure why the mystery since earlier we saw that HE saw them right after they trounced his gang.

“We’re not going to find anything here!” Well, you won’t if you keep fondling the wall instead of checking the floor. 

They find a matchbook for “Ninja Pizza,” which delights Michelangelo because it means they can get pizza. Which raises the question, if they’re so inexperienced in the outside world that all their knowledge of humans comes from TV, how the hell do they get pizza? Like, do they sneak it out of delivery cars? For that matter, how do they have any money?

After a crazy old bat aims a gun at them, April buys them trenchcoat-and-fedora disguises that will literally only fool the legally blind. They also manage to repeatedly do and say things that make them REALLY noticeable, like Leonardo taking “cut the cards” very literally, or asking questions about what “humans” do. 

April also has trouble telling them apart, repeatedly calling them by the wrong names. This always makes me chuckle, because when you think about all the animation errors in this series, it almost seems like self-parodying foreshadowing.

This is where the goofy takes over, with a whole district devoted to ninja businesses. This might seem like a plot point, but it’s really not. 

Does Shredder literally have cameras everywhere? He has them in the sewers, he has them in businesses on the street... does he literally just spend all day flipping through different camera feeds in hopes that he’ll see somebody he can harass for eight seasons?

April decides to do the one thing you’re never supposed to do if you’re in even a teensy bit of danger: she wanders off by herself, and immediately gets caught and kidnapped. What did you THINK was gonna happen, genius?

When the Turtles finally finish dinner, they find her wallet and press pass... no, I don’t know Leonardo can recognize her wallet on sight. Then they spot her purse on top of a building.... you know, the purse she didn’t have in any previous scene, and thus they couldn’t recognize. Oops.

To rescue her, they have to fight their way through a small army of ninjas, who fortunately turn out to be robots. I say “fortunately,” because I assume that children’s TV standards wouldn’t allow the heroes to beat the shit out of living human beings, no matter how much they deserved it. Same sort of problem in X-Men, if I remember correctly. 

And yes, in case you’re wondering, Shredder has MORE cameras on the rooftop. And he’s now no longer concerned about whether they’re turtles, which is obvious, but about whether Hamato Yoshi trained them. Well, since you guys appear to be the only Foot ninjas left in existence...

The good guys chase the robots to another building, thanks to Leonardo apparently having a sword made of adamantium...

... and a throwing arm that could make him rich in baseball.

You know, I’d be a little curious if I were Donatello. “Hey, a guy who looks like Darth Vader’s shinier cousin! Ooo, pretty monitor... I lust after high-grade electronics!”

Shredder further confuses me by yelling, “They ARE turtles! Hamato Yoshi’s turtles!” So... first, you didn’t recognize that in any of the many other times you got clear well-lit shots of them? And how did you know about Hamato Yoshi’s pet situation?

He also shoots himself in the foot by commenting that he can’t let them discover his “Technodrome”... and then announcing its existence on the loudspeaker literally ONE SECOND LATER, causing them to immediately want to find out what it is. I’m thinking that Shredder is very literally his own worst enemy... and his own worst spy.

So the robots flood the place, and April and the Turtles run up the stairs to the top of the building, which has literally filled up in a matter of seconds. They also somehow managed to grab the complete outfit of one of the robots... sometime during all this, because they show it to Splinter, who confirms that it’s the uniform of the Foot Clan.

“My old enemy, Oroku Saki, must be nearby!”

It stands to reason, since you two are apparently the only actual people left who were in that clan. Seriously, where did all the human beings go? Did Shredder kill ‘em all and replace them with robots? Or did he just leave the whole clan behind in Japan, and they’re busy doing whatever the fuck they’re doing half a world away?

So it ends on a pizza gag, and a to-be-continued note.

The Verdict

Yes, I ragged on this mercilessly, but I mock because I care. It comes from a place of mocking love rather than hate. THAT I reserve for the Mutant Apocalypse arc.

And really, this episode is a pretty good opener. The animation was almost uniformly solid and consistent, the story was pretty good, and while the characters haven’t been too fleshed out yet, their individual quirks and qualities are already apparent (Donatello’s lust for electronics, Raphael’s snark, Michelangelo being pizza-obsessed and not too serious, Leonardo being a little TOO serious).

Speaking of serious, it also has a more adult tone than the later seasons would often have, with fewer jokes and less goofiness from both villains and heroes alike. Shredder in particular acts like a real credible villain, even though he doesn’t really do much in this episode besides talk to himself and hack camera feeds. 

It also has a more uneasy feel to the alliance between April and the Turtles, with them being all too happy to hold her captive until they can confirm that she won’t expose them, and her willing to throw them under the bus for her story. Really, she was a bitch to them - they save her life, and she decides to ruin their lives because “you’re still news” even if they didn’t commit any crimes? Stone cold.

Anyway, this is only the first part of a five-episode arc, so there’s plenty left to cover.

GRADE: A-