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#also weird point to get stuck on but why are they british. i know this is. an au to say the least. but them being british confuses me
crazyw3irdo · 10 months
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what is your opinion on gnomeo and juliet (2011)
they got rid of mercutio 0/10
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allbeendonebefore · 2 months
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weird question but for the sake of fanfic accuracy, how would ralph and oliver like their steaks? my first instinct for ollie is to say well done lol
also this is my first fanfic so i wanna get their portrayals (mostly for ralph) right, as much as i can at least. how do you think they’d interact when it’s just them? personally i see ollie as very reserved/uptight and i feel like ralph would feel awkward bc there’s lots of underlying tension even if they aren’t arguing plus little things ollie says/does that grate on him even if ollie isn’t trying to piss him off.
ah the steak question, the one i always avoid because steak is my least favourite way to eat beef and i know bertie is like. PASSIONATE. about that. I think he'd raise an eyebrow at well done though, i think he is more a medium-rare/medium sort of guy and he is also a fan of beef tartare so the rawness does not bother him but he also wants that sear on the outside, yknow, like the cook put an effort into the Correct Balance. Well done is like. why are you drying out that poor cow, you might as well be eating jerky. [fellow albertans with steak opinions, please by all means tell me]
How they act together is definitely contextual somewhat but yes I agree that Ollie is generally uptight because that's the way he is around everyone, that's the cost of being the Good British Child and the Public Face - and Bertie has this roulette going that will either land on [high strung, take offense] or [make a show of being So Relaxed] because he's the one that Also gets flack for being the Princess Province from everyone, so he is out to prove (both to everyone and to himself) that he's NOT as high strung as OLIVER even though in a lot of ways he Absolutely is. Like, I will be masochistic and tough in situations I wouldn't be in private just to show him what a Real Man (tm) would do. (a real man may choose to buy heated seats for his truck but is not... he's not soft enough to use them... no sir... unless of course YOU want them on, I GUESS. i almost forgot they were there.)
[and like, the implication is that bert is "At Home" in his Element in the comic, which is a little different than Not Being At Home of course. no i didn't specify which airport they're at... oop. entirely depends on the reason why ollie is visiting which i also didn't specify]
Obviously with [gestures at the background radiation of political bullshit] though I think they are both tired. i'm tired. i'm tired of seeing it im tired of hearing it and we all need a break from political theatre. like yes, tension, its real, it's weighing on everyone, i often use it as fuel to vent when i do dumb comics, but its also like. we are in this same bullshit together, like me and my colleagues back in ON watched ford ripping up and selling off the green belt while kenney and smith are still trying to turn the mountains into open pit mines like "same hat". There's a point beyond "you don't get me!!" where it becomes "you get me...", its like, its this assumption that things are never going to change and the assumption about how one is going to react that is the actual crux of the personality conflict, you feel me? i don't know if this makes sense at all its just something i have been chewing on a lot. chewing on it like a dry well done steak
anyway its like. it would feel odd to me if there Wasn't teasing and jabs but for me there is definitely an ironic feeling to it, like they both understand what is actually going on but it's hard to figure out what to do about it and so they kind of get stubborn and stuck in their ways a little, but at the same time its also like "thanks for coming," "you see what i have to deal with," "i picked an activity i think you'd like (i hope you say so, i'm very proud of it even though i pretend its no big deal, this is me actually being very vulnerable and concerned with your opinion, i hope you appreciate it, but also if you did idk how to respond)" or "i knew you weren't going to like this but you should broaden your horizons and loosen up" hahaha...
(you see why i struggle articulating my thoughts, like, how do you Portray that idk man)
like, i do have more to say and im happy to try to be clearer about what i mean or to give some more specific examples or try to detail what i think the [+/- sims friendship points] things might be or those little grating things, I just need to stop somewhere before i stop making sense altogether hahahaha
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mobius1029 · 1 year
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You have seen Red Team, right?
Now introducing Blue Team and all of their non existing glory.
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(Character profiles)
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(LEFT TO RIGHT)
So, Dexter Grif used to a scientist before being forced to join the military which in results of him being stuck in a box canyon. He thought being in a box canyon was a nightmare, which it is true consider being stuck with an annoying lazy cyborg, a leader who doesn't even know how to be a leader, an annoying ball of sunshine of a robot, a fellow soldier who stares into people's souls for absolutely no reason and a psychotic medic with an AI stuck inside of him. He completely hates Simmons the most for asking the important shit of life or not being able to do anything motivated. He has a strong love and hate connection with his sister but most of the time, it's full of hatred.
Richard Dick Simmons is one of the most lazy yet annoying person to deal with, plus, he's a huge dumbass when it comes to questioning. There's a chance he might ask you why are they here to what comes first, the chicken or the god damn egg. He knows how to drive a warthog but still manages to destroy it even if he drives perfectly. He also went to a all girls school on accident and basically does absolutely nothing but probably gives random girls drugs or crystal meth. He has a strong hate for Grif which ends with them fighting each other to death or shooting each other depending how high is his hate meter.
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Sarge is just a poor tired man who didn't agree on joining either the ODST or being stuck in a box canyon with people who do or like violent. He mainly has a curse mix of a British and an Australian accent, so most the time, no one knows what the hell is he even saying. He still has a fear of heights and does not want to ride on a warthog cause he never learned how to drive. He doesn't know how to use his shotgun or even reloading it and questions how are his teammates still alive when they are literally sleeping with their guns like a teddy bear. Everyone basically hates him for being a horrible leader despite him doing his best to even be one. The only friends he has are either the Red Team, O'Malley or Lopez that he built to be his first friend.
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(LEFT TO RIGHT)
Franklin Delano Donut was an agent to a military but sadly got sent to the box canyon due to having a bit of an anger issue problem. He basically doesn't like it when people prank him, knowing damn well he's just going to get the same joke over and over until he either gets pranked to the point he starts a genocide or does the prank if it involves going somewhere, just who whoever pranked him can have a good laugh. He, for some reason has a weird problem with naming colours in the most stupidest yet simplest way possible. Like, if you ask him what colour is his armour, his response is either going to be, "Does it look like I know what my armour colour is?" or just straight up "My armour colour is green." without even saying what shade of green is it. He has a habit of staring into people's souls without even realising and the longest he has ever stared into people's souls is twelve hours straight without eating. He also doesn't know how to throw a grenade but knows how to drive in stunts that can end with suicide and shoot perfectly without even looking.
Frank Dufresne or Doc is just the worst medic around consider he's a psychotic medic who literally escape an asylum and join the military. If you ever ask him why he did that, his response is always gonna be "To be honest, I don't fucking know." or even shrugging to the response. He has a huge liking to murdering people but never got the chance to, due being watch by the Reds, Sarge, Donut and Lopez most of the time. He even has the Omega AI in him who is renamed as O'Malley who is desperately trying so hard not to get Doc on a wanted poster while also acting like a literal mother to him. Doc hates using guns but his all time favourite is the rocket launcher and the spartan laser. O'Malley on the other hand knows how to use a gun but has no desire to cause he doesn't like violence at all. Instead, he rather be an actual proper medic and maybe a mother figure to everyone in Blue Team. He even feels bad for Sarge to be the most hated one on the team.
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Lopez The heavy is a robot like android who was created by Sarge to be his first friend. Of course Lopez sees Sarge as a father figure but decided to prefer him being a friend just so it could be easier for Sarge to deal with but ended up acting like Sarge's younger brother. He's very sweet and kind while also being a great therapist to him or other people around him. He likes to use anything around him to make any arts and craft he could think of, like from making flower crowns to an entire gun that always ends up exploding like a bomb. He also likes baking but then remembers he can't eat so everything he bakes ends up with Simmons or a little gift for the Reds. Also, his speech unit sort of got damaged when it was sent by command, turning him into a bilingual bot. He can switch between English or Japanese so which means he can mess with people who aren't bilingual with his Japanese voice. He's also very interested in Japanese culture too.
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warcats-cat · 11 months
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self-ship/OC asks for whichever pairing's been stuck in your head the most lately!
5, 6, 7, 12, 13, and 19 (or as many/few as you'd like to answer)
Ahh I set myself up for this one didn't I? 😅😅
So in my defense, my anime boyfriends rn are Dirk Strider and Jake English from homestuck, but at this point their character traits in my mind are like six or seven degrees removed from canon, mostly influenced from the parts of fanon that I interacted with back in 2015 in the height of my homestuck era (tm)
And I'm a little starved for affection lately so I just like to imagine my giant teddy bear is a person I can snuggle with without the pressure of a sexual relationship because I'm asexual which is also probably why I think I might be poly too?
5. Who curses, and who reprimands the other for it?
We all curse, but Jake does it in his weird ass fake British work around way and pretends to be morally superior about it but we all know at the end of the day he's just as bad as the two of us. (Fun fact for lent this year my whole family gave up swearing for lent and agreed to put 50¢ in a jar every time one slipped and we raised about $60 between us all because traffic in Cincinnati is terrible.)
7. Who makes the other laugh more?
I feel like I'd be the one making them laugh, just because I've had a lot of people tell me I'm a very dramatic and emotive story teller, especially when I'm angry about something and it's been stewing for a few hours. (Any time a customer at work does something especially heinous, I get home and just *rant* like I'm on an episode of the office because it really helps get the bad energy out.)
12. Who's more protective?
As with real life I am all talk big threat but when the chips are down I'll probably be in a corner somewhere crying my eyes out because someone yelled at me, HOWEVER if someone is mean to any of my loved ones I get very nasty.
I'm kind of a Chihuahua.
Meanwhile Dirk has katanas and swordfighting and takes no shit. And Jake has guns out the ass. So who knows how that would go 😅...
19. Who's the better dancer?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
((also sorry X-man Friend I didn't have good answers for the others...))
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talisidekick · 1 year
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I want to know about axes now.
I hath been prompted and this subject is extremely damn large. So to "briefly" explain ...
A Brief (lol not at all) Overview of a Complicated Axe History
Axes have been around since about ~1.8 million years ago thanks to our ancient as heck ancestors who were probably barely sentient and self-aware. It's literally a wedge on a stick, it's not hard to create relatively speaking. Axes have been made from antlers, bone, metal, stone, and even other types of wood for a very long time! This also means axes have an incredibly varied history, and it's not something that can be traced back to specifically one culture or another as the initial creator of "the axe". Literally every culture has axes in some form, and the creation and use of them vary per culture. And I know: "vary per culture?! It's an axe, it chops wood!" but ... no. Axes have been used to cut stone, wood, dirt, metal, animals, and people (war, feuds, sport, etc) a part in different ways for different reasons and have specific uses that determined their looks. Like for example, the European axes were commonly used to chop down smaller diameter trees, and thus had shorter handles, wider heads, and were lighter weight. However, when brought to North America, these axes couldn't efficiently cut down the wider and denser diameter trees. The head of a European Axe would get stuck, handle would break, wouldn't go as deep, etc. However, the First Nations peoples Tomahawk (or 'Trade Axe' - will explain why it has that name in a moment) had a longer handle, narrower head, and the weight necessary to really dig in. As such, those axes looked different. Now, I can't speak much on this, because it's not my heritage, but I will note that the Europeans noticed that there was a cultural significance behind axes for the First Nations peoples they were trading with that they didn't really share. As such, axes became a unique form of trade because of that noted value. Thus why Europeans fashioned axes in a similar design to First Nations axes and called those and the Tomahawk 'Trade Axes'. What the societal, cultural, and heritage reasons for that value is, isn't my place to speculate. However, I'd love to learn! (please message me or reblog if you're interested in helping educate me)
If it isn't apparent, axes are a hyper-fixation of mine (that if my friends are reading this ... I never told you about ... and that's because I was told my 'obsessions' were weird ... and I am kind of interested about the whole history of wedge-on-a-stick), so I did look into axe history for European and Norse history because that's my ancestry and I'm kind of more familiar with the whole historical lens distortion relating to the recording of these cultures than I am with First Nations recorded history. I'm just not at a point where I'm comfortable in determining recording bias from factual account, and I freely admit when it comes to First Nations culture, I require a lot more learning and education.
Back on topic though, this means that the history of axes comes down to a question of: what cultures history of axes do you want to know? And specifically, what about that history interests you? And in the case of this ask, it's the fact that I made a post about knives being used as romantic gifts:
And axes have a fun history with that too amongst superstitions for being buried or mounted in certain ways to ensure home protection from lightning, bad omens, warding off of witches, ensuring male offspring, or protection from weather. Axes have had ritual significance, been decoration pieces, symbols of authority, and even symbols of trade (not trading, but like if you were a carpenter, a ship builder, etc), and symbols of culture! For me, the coolest of them are the ones that weren't used for war, like:
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The British Trade axe (right) was both a trading currency and a working tool for cutting wood or kindling, and the Tomahawk (left) duals as a pipe and for much the same as the axe on the right.
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The Shepherd's Axe, a variation on the Hungarian Fokos which had wide-spread use across Europe dualed as a walking stick, and a tool for wild animal (wolves) defence, and of course the hacking apart of wood, and clearing of brush!
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The Mattock or Pulaski which combined both axe (side facing up) and adze (side facing down) to be a utilitarian farming and digging tool. A slight specification here, a Mattock is typically an Adze one one side and another tool on the other (axe or pick), but a Pulaski is specifically as shown, being Adze and Axe. A Pulaski is a form of Mattock, but all Mattocks are not Pulaski's.
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The Crash axe, a more modern invention, designed for the use of escaping crashed aircraft, and as a survival (potential climbing/ice axe if it contains the fastening strap) tool.
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The Ship Builder's Axe (bearded axe in this case), sometimes referred to as a Carpenters axe. Was typically used to build both boats and homes as axes were the original planing tool before we got a smarter more efficient idea.
Axe construction also varies! Commonly in North America we see the Shaft-Hole axe (mattock/pulaski, Tomahawk, Trade axe, and Ship Builders Axe above), meaning the axe head has a hole for a shaft to go through and be fastened upon (usually a metal or wood wedge driven into the top to make sure the axe head stays affixed to the shaft mid swing and not flying off like a bladed murder wedge). But earlier axes used not only Shaft-Hole, but:
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Socketed like the Celt where the wood handle would fit into a cavity at the back end of the axe, and:
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Palstave where the butt of the axe was narrow and driven into the shaft! In fact, the first axes were either Socketed and Palstave styles.
There's also fun situations where axes would be classified on use, despite being the same axe. Ie, a battle-axe was recorded in early history to define any axe used for war, however, a ship-axe was defined to be any axe that had been carried by boat. So if a raid or attack happened by boat, the sailors/warriors used "ship-axes", but if it was a land siege, they'd have used "battle-axes". This of course later changed where the term "boat-axe" came to define Shaft-Hole axes of the Norweigan-Swedish axe culture, but it's still interesting to see. And even axes creations sometimes had meanings, like the double-bladed axe, which had representations in the wax and waning moon, the circle of life and death, and the changing of seasons to name a few, which is all dependent on the cult/religion/culture being observed.
As such, because axes had both cultural, ritual, and social significance along with definitive use, it wasn't uncommon for axes to be gifts, sometimes decorated or engraved, to loved ones or family members.
And there is one thing now that we're this far in about a certain axe I wish to make sure ALL DEVELOPERS OF VIDEO GAMES AND FANTASY NOVELS GET RIGHT:
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A pick axe DOES NOT HAVE AN AXE ON THE ONE SIDE! It has a chisel, and yes, it's dumb. I don't know why they called it an axe. A normal PICK is just two picks on either side, or one pick and nothing on the other. I need you, need need need you ... it get this right. Please.
Lastly, there is actually a difference between Axes, Hand Axes, and Hatchets. They are all not under the same umbrella:
A Hatchet comfortably fits in one hand, has a shaft length of 1/2 a Hand Axe's, and a Hatchets head is about 1/2-2/3's the weight of a Hand Axe. It's purpose is small brush clearing, and kindling.
A Hand Axe has a handle/shaft length that is 1/3~ shorter than an Axe, requires one hand, and the head weight is roughly 1/3 of an Axes.
An Axe, is a two-handed tool, with a handle length 1/3 longer than a Hand Axe, and has a head weight 1/3 more than a Hand Axe.
If you're wondering why this is all arbitrarily based on eachother, it's because axes, hand axes, and hatchets have been around since before standard measurement systems, and this was the definition that's carried over. Want a fighting axe? Get an axe that's twice the size of the Hatchet. Want to fell trees, a handle 1/3 longer than your fighting axe should do. Why the head weight changes? Comfort and utility!
And lastly, a fun bit of history! Axe heads that got too dull, were sharpened to the point the head got too small, or the handle broke, would often be used as kitchen tools for cooking in ancient times. Need to scrape dough off the counter? Axe head to the rescue!
This info dump is now over. Go buy your spouse/partner an axe. They look cool. Better than swords in my opinion.
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lovely-echoo · 3 years
Text
Sleepy Bois Inc x FranBow!Reader
In-game AU
Part 1/? Pt.2
Plantonic!SBI x Young!Reader
(10/11 years old)
OneShot/Drabble(?)
Genderneutral reader (they/them) 💜
INFO; If you haven't played or seen game play of Fran Bow then you can skip this if you'd like. If you don't care then go ahead.
Summary; Basically if you've seen/played the game you should know how this goes, you take place of Fran. So you go/went through the same things she did and you still have Mr. Midnight. This takes place while Fran is still in the mental hospital and then got teleported near the SBI.
Honestly I kept thinking about this but was afraid to request it to anyone so I'm doing it my myself-
If I get any info wrong, I'm sorry! I rewatched Markiplier's game play so it shouldn't be way off.
P.s not everything is described the same.
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(^ art by sunquids on twt)
CW/TW: mentions/includes of cussing, gore, death, blood, consumption of medication, sexual assault (brief mentions of Damian/The King)
Fluff/Normal
(Angst if you squint)
How you ended up there - How you met Philza and Technoblade
As you were walking around the hospital, you decided to take a pill to see if it'll help.
You watched as your vision blurred and some sort of demonic noises rang in your ears.
After a few seconds your vision cleared up, you took a look around the front desk.
The once dull and lifeless room had turned into this even duller and just plain deathly like room.
Blood was everywhere, random body parts of babies where thrown around. A skeletal figure was hung with what looked like an umbilical cord wrapped around its thin bones, it was connected to this baby covered by a blue blanket.
Just about everything looked grotesque.
Suddenly the floor ahead of you opened and this slimy black tentacle like arm grabbed you by the waist and pulled you in.
It seemed you may have passed out during your fall because you woke up to the sounds of hissing and supposedly two men.
Oh and let's not forget the killer headache causing the ringing in your ears. :)
You rubbed your eyes as you sat up, the light around you seemed much brighter than before.
You looked at the two men in front of you and then glanced down, you spotted Mr. Midnight!
His fur was spiked up and his ears were flat against his head. He seemed to be trying to protect you from the men.
Ignoring their presence you immediately scooped up your precious fur baby in your arms.
Your mind completely forgot about the fact there are two strange looking men in front of you.
A few droplets of water dripped down your (S/C) cheeks onto your (F/C) shirt/dress.
You started crying, so much happened in a short period of time and you found your cat you oh so desperately tried to find.
It panicked one of the adults. Said adult was an average tall man with slightly longer blond hair than average, he also had a green and white striped bucket hat. But what stuck out the most was the large pair of wings behind his back.
At first you thought that it was your pills fault but everywhere around you looked….
Normal?
It seemed like your meds wore off while you supposedly passed out.
But that doesn’t help or ease you at all. If the side effects wore off then how the hell did he have wings?!
The blond walked towards you slowly, like you were an injured puppy. His blue eyes roamed around your body, as if studying your every mouvements.
The other man who was beside him earlier seemed to tense up and looked at him as if he grew another head. He was on edge you assumed.
But he looked even weirder to you. He had long pink hair tied into a loose braid falling over his shoulder. Was it natural? He also had tusks peeking out from his bottom lip, they were large but not enough to be in the way. His skin seemed to be on the pinker side, it was roughed up with scars and calloused in certain areas. You noticed he had pig ears poking out his crown. Is he a king of sorts? Wait, that reminds you of someome... Oh! The king of course!
Ah yes, the king. You quite missed him actually, he was playful and let you use his cane- sword to get a key. But he didn't know about that part. You wonder if he's doing alright right know, the asylum sucks. And the shadow thing next to him said weird things to. Who exactly is the holy man? Why'd the shadow say he took off his clothes?
You couldn't dwell on it to much as you got distracted by the approaching man.
He reached out his hand to stop the winged male. “Phil-”
But the man named ‘Phil’ interrupted the crowned male by putting up his hand. He stopped his hand and let it limp to his side.
“It’s alright Tech, they seem harmless.” ‘Phil’ reassured, though ‘Tech’ nodded his head with a stern expression. There was still hesitance in his sharp red eyes.
‘Phil’ took the same hand he put up and reached it out to you. A soft and kind look in his eyes, you could’ve gotten lost in them if you weren’t careful.
“You alright there kid?” He asked, crouching down to meet your height from where you sat.
“Y-yeah, I think so…” You winced, your throat was hoarse and dry. You peered at ‘Phil’ as he took out this glass bottle with what you assumed was water.
He handed you the fragile bottle, he saw the look of hesitance in your childlike eyes. But something about them set off alarms in his head, they were dull. There’s nothing wrong with that of course! But they were too dull, at least for a mere kid.
He recognized a glint of trauma in your (Eye Shape) eyes, those beautiful (E/C) orbs had seen something they shouldn’t have. Haven’t they?
“Don’t worry mate, it’s fresh water.” He examined the way you handled the cork, you were inexperienced. He could tell you’ve never needed to do it, but why? It’s really the only way so far to keep water with you.
Did you not have any?
While he was lost in thought, you just had noticed he had an accent of sorts. Nothing wrong with it, you've just never heard of someone with it.
(^ Ignore that if you are british)
While the winged male was off in his own world the piglin hybrid watched as you sniffed the clear liquid in suspicion before letting your cat smell it as if you were looking for their approval.
To his surprise they did give it to you, the black cat nodded it’s head and squeaked out a meow. That strangely sounded like a yes- but he dismissed the thought. Probably was just the voices fucking with him.
You gulped down the water as if you hadn’t had any for months.
‘Why tf are they so desperate-’ ‘lowkey kinda concerned lmao’ ‘they look like they’d be an orphan tho’ ‘lmao maybe’ ‘idc about the kid, i want the cat’ ‘absolutely-’ ‘Nah fuck the cat, im allergic.’ ‘lol and?’ 'PFT ANY ASKERS???'
Those were all different voices speaking and overlapping each other.
Technoblade sighed as he glanced at his father, he knew him on the back of his hand. He let him be and slowly walked next to Phil and kneeled down.
“What’s your name kid?” he asked, taking the empty bottle you had handed him. “(Y/n), (Y/n) (L/n)/Bow.” You bluntly answered, looking at him in the eyes. He noticed how bloodshot they were, I mean you did cry not even 5 minutes ago.
"What's yours?" You questioned tilting your head a bit in the process.
Unbeknownst to you, some voices in a certain someone's head were losing their shit, squealing and chanting ‘protecc tiny bean’ over and over again.
"The name's Technoblade, but you can call me Techno." Strange name in your book but your not the one to judge. You simply nodded your head in acknowledgement.
"That guy is Philza, but you can call him Phil." He pointed his thumb to the unfocused man. Technoblade or Techno- cleared his throat.
“You’ve got somewhere to stay? Where are your parents?” “Why can’t you mind your business?”
Techno’s eyes twitched in annoyance and his teeth clenched to hold back any crude words.
Although he noticed the flash of pain in those dull (E/C) orbs of the mentions of your parents.
He sighed once again, something you noticed he did a lot. At least, so far he did.
“Look kid, do you have a place to stay or not?”
And that's how you ended up meeting your new family. . . <3
I may include a taglist if anyone's up to be tagged lmao
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Text
Dream SMP Recap (June 1/2021) - All Roads Lead to Rome
Ponk tears down one of the towers of L’Llamaburg for overshadowing his supreme fridge.
Tubbo creates a new outpost just outside Las Nevadas to overlook the country.
Techno has a birthday party with the Syndicate and Quackity comes over to bring a message. 
Quackity speaks with Foolish in Las Nevadas about his future plans for the country and roads.
Niki finds out about Wilbur’s revival. 
Bad asks for Techno’s help with destroying his enemies, as he’s upset about L’Llamaburg violating the buffer zone agreement. Puffy confronts Bad about the brewing war.
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VOD LINKS:
Ponk
Foolish
Tubbo
Technoblade
Nihachu
BadBoyHalo
Captain Puffy
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- Ponk tears down one of the towers of L’Llamaburg
- Ponk sends Foolish through the labyrinth he built
- Afterwards, they visit the turtle sanctuary
- Ponk shows Foolish that he tore down the tower for overshadowing his supreme fridge. Foolish points out that he and Puffy don’t have the best history. Ponk is still bitter over Puffy destroying Sacrifice’s shrine
- Tubbo creates an outpost on a mountain just outside of Las Nevadas to keep an eye on the country
- Quackity comes over and asks what Tubbo is doing. He says he’ll speak with Tubbo later
- If anyone asks, Tubbo will say it’s just a cookie outpost from Snowchester
- Foolish comes over as well and tells Tubbo that he sent Punz on the mission to find the nuke
- Tubbo asks why Foolish has left Snowchester. Foolish says he’s trying something new -- he’s joining Las Nevadas, actually
- Foolish takes Tubbo on a tour through Las Nevadas. He asks if Tubbo would want to join Las Nevadas, but Tubbo declines
- Techno starts off in his house. He walks outside to find Niki, Phil and Ranboo launching fireworks for his birthday! They also set up a table outside the house with some cake
- After they eat some cake, Techno asks what he’s missed. He’s gone off into the wild to train, while Phil thought he was hibernating. Techno asks if they found out Tommy actually died. Phil tells him he did, but Dream brought him back
- Speaking of things brought back...Wilbur is back too. Niki and Techno are both shocked. Phil tells them that he’s actually living in Phil’s house currently. He tells Niki Wilbur’s changed for the better
- Techno brings Steve out
- He notices the new forest, which the others say sprouted up. It just appeared
- The subject returns to the revival book. Niki says, if Wilbur and Tommy have been brought back, there’s one person left that can be brought back that they don’t want back: Schlatt
- Niki asks if there are any new governments. Phil says no, Snowchester is still there but nothing much has happened that they need to step in on
- They solved the government issue with brute force. Techno says it was “mild property damage,” but Phil disagrees, saying it was mass destruction. They agree to just blame everything on Dream
- While he was away, Techno studied the blade. He suggests a training session for Niki and Ranboo
- Techno has something to do. He leaves, noticing Quackity standing on a hill nearby
- Quackity says hello. Techno tells him it’s his birthday (he’s not sure how old he is, though) and Quackity thanks him for helping with the Egg. He asks if Techno has visited Dream (Techno hasn’t)
- Techno went to the Dream SMP equivalent of Italy on vacation
- Quackity tells Techno he’s been visiting Dream, and that while in prison Dream seems to be a completely different person. Techno asks if Dream’s been treated well, and Quackity says he’s fine 
- Just a few days ago, Dream told Quackity that he wanted Techno to visit, that he finally wanted to call in a “favor”
- Techno explains that the “favor” is that he has to get Dream his favorite meal at some point, since they were at a restaurant once and Techno forgot his wallet
Quackity: “He’s changed a lot. If you walk in there, he doesn’t seem like the person he’s always been, which is weird, how a person can change just like that.”
Techno: “It’s strange what five months of near total isolation can do to a person...as we know, it’s always a positive effect.”
- Sometime during this weekend, Techno will visit. Techno asks if Quackity has any written message from Dream, and Quackity says he can probably get one. He only has notes right now
- Techno asks if Quackity is telling the truth. He would hate to be lied to on his birthday...Quackity says he’s not lying, and as he said, he’s glad they set aside their differences
Quackity: “At the end of the day, scars fade away, Techno...”
- Quackity says goodbye and leaves. Techno wonders if he can trust him
- He returns to the others and they celebrate some more
- Phil takes them all down to show off the training arena he made in the basement
- They go back up and talk some more
- Meanwhile, Quackity meets Foolish at Las Nevadas. He asks about Tubbo’s outpost, and Foolish says it’s a cookie outpost. Quackity tells Foolish not to trust it, realizing he actually hasn’t talked to Tubbo recently
- Quackity is bothered by how clear the view of Las Nevadas is from the outpost and questions why Foolish didn’t stop Tubbo from building it
- He asks the last thing Foolish did in Las Nevadas as they walk over there, and then whether or not he’s already discussed the possibility of a “contract” of formal citizenship
- Quackity wants to get to know Foolish better. He makes sure that he can trust Foolish, confide in him certain information
- Foolish remarks that Quackity seems like the kind of guy who would make a lot of enemies, and gives him a set of Netherite armor
- Speaking of making enemies, Quackity takes Foolish over to the lake to look out at Wilbur and Tommy’s headquarters. Someone paid them a visit
Quackity: “Have you ever met...Wilbur?”
- Foolish hasn’t. Tommy told him a bit. Quackity points out an empty spot in Las Nevadas where he wants something done. He tells Foolish he just paid a visit to an old friend and he went unprotected, so the Netherite is a good idea
- Only two people have just given Quackity armor, and one of them is Quackity’s “right hand man” at the moment: Sam. Foolish mentions Sam screwed him over with L’Sandburg
- Quackity points out Eret’s cobblestone ocean pyramid. This country needs more citizens, more things built
- He shows Foolish the gambling machine and gives him diamonds to try out. Foolish wins Linda! 
- Their objective with Las Nevadas is to build the biggest, most powerful country, and Quackity’s read his fair share of Sun Tzu. He’s actually helped run a country before, which Foolish is surprised to learn (countries are before Foolish’s time)
- Quackity says he’ll talk to Foolish soon and leaves for a couple minutes before returning. He asks for PVP lessons, but Foolish hasn’t done much fighting for a while
Quackity: “I do all my fighting through dialogue, if you haven’t noticed...That’s my biggest weapon, Foolish, it’s the way I say things, everything, all that. But I think, you know, given what could come of all this...”
Foolish: “I was gonna say, I don’t know if that will work forever...unless you’re very, very good with your words, eventually you’ll say the wrong words.”
- Quackity suggests they make their own lookout outpost 
- Quackity has some plans to show Foolish, a project he thought of when he was thinking about making Las Nevadas. His first plan was to build a highway system
Quackity: “They say all roads lead to Rome...in this case, all roads lead to Las Nevadas.”
- He shows Foolish some sign ideas and Foolish says it would be no problem to build up some roads
- Quackity shows Foolish an old idea for a path with rail lines on both sides, layouts for advertisements
- The first place Quackity thinks the road should go is the Spawn area, for when someone joins or dies. Quackity is annoyed that Tubbo blocked the route, but they can go around it
- They plan out the path of the road. Foolish asks if Quackity wants the road to go to Kinoko Kingdom. Quackity goes silent before saying he wants to focus on the main attractions right now
- Quackity leaves again to go check some things
Foolish: “When you choose a side, there’s always other sides...which means I can’t be buddy-buddy with everyone forever.”
- Foolish does the boat slime jump. Quackity comes back with food and continues to discuss plans. Besides connecting everyone, they also need to make cash off of this highway, so he wants to make sure there’s plenty of advertisement
- L’manburg is destroyed, but it also has a lot of history. Quackity’s noticed no one’s really claimed that area. Wilbur and Tommy are neighboring them now. Foolish asks if they’re enemies...Quackity says he’ll explain that in a bit
Quackity: “We can make L’manburg a main tourist area.”
- Foolish knows a few people might be against that. Anyone from L’manburg, maybe. Quackity reminds him he was in the cabinet, and proceeds to tell him the story of Wilbur:
---
When Quackity joined the server, L’manburg was the biggest nation. Quackity asked to join, and he was declined because he wasn’t British -- the one requirement. He didn’t like this, he felt left out, he wanted to be a part of something.The election rolled around, it was SWAG vs. POG.
(They walk over to the ruins of L’manburg)
Wilbur was going to run a “democratic” election with only one option available to vote for, which Quackity didn’t think was very democratic.
(Quackity gets interrupted by George calling him)
Each party had a Vice President. Foolish assumes that Wilbur’s was Tommy...and Quackity’s was George. Quackity points out King’s Court to Foolish in the sky, the place they had their debate. After their debate, Quackity and Wilbur had a talk, a conversation that stuck with him for a very long time.
Then it was Election Day. What happened was, each party had sponsors. Who endorsed Tommy and Wilbur?
Vikkstar.
Tommy accidentally posted the Vikkstar endorsement video in the Discord before deleting it seven seconds later, but that was still enough time for George to get the link and send it to Quackity, and Quackity needed the one person who could match that endorsement: KSI.
Unfortunately, KSI never replied, as it was quite last-minute. 
That’s when the turning point happened, and Quackity calls it the worst day of his life. George slept through the event. Quackity had no endorsements, no Vice President. The other party was going strong -- but they made a mistake. Their second endorsement was Schlatt. However, Schlatt arrived drunk, and instead of endorsing Wilbur and Tommy, he made his own party on the spot. SCHLATT2020. Not only this, but Niki and Fundy also made their own party too: COCONUT2020. 
The votes go out. POG2020 wins. But, Quackity had an idea, to pool votes with Schlatt. They ended up with 1% more votes than POG, and that’s how Quackity ended up as Vice President of the country. However, this was a big mistake. The policies Schlatt enacted were to exile Tommy and Wilbur, took down the walls, changed up things -- and to be fair, Quackity did join him on this. He was down with taking down the walls. Everything started going downhill. Schlatt would constantly undermine Quackity’s Vice Presidency, his policy ideas, and he did the worst thing to Quackity -- took down the White House that Quackity, Wilbur and Tommy built together. 
Schlatt didn’t care. He started teaming up with bad folks like Dream, other people, and the rest is history. Imagine everything that had to happen to lead to this...
(he gestures to L’manhole)
Foolish: “Do you regret it all?”
Quackity: “...No.”
Foolish: “So, you would’ve let it all go the exact same way, down to Wilbur blowing it all up?”
Quackity: “I wouldn’t have changed a damn thing, Foolish...And let me tell you why...All these mistakes, all these things, have made me the person I am now, Foolish. All these experiences, all these bad moments in my life, have made me the man I am today.”
“And you never...you never mess with history. Because everything happens for a reason, Foolish. Everything happens for a reason. You don’t ever pander with history, you don’t ever try to turn it around or change it, because the way things happen are the way things happen at the end of the day. And that’s how we build character. I wouldn’t have Las Nevadas if not for all these...for all these...mistakes, maybe.”
After that, something happened with Wilbur. Quackity didn’t know much about it, but he changed. He was so obsessed with his country that if he couldn’t have it, no one could. He blew up the entire thing, and in that process he ended up dying, and that’s when Ghostbur came to be.
So many more things happened (Foolish finds out that this crater isn’t just from Wilbur), but...it is what it is.
“And if you dwell in the past, you’ll live in suffering your entire life. So take it from me, Foolish. Take in all the experiences you’ve ever had, and apply them to something greater than what you used to be. Take one last gander at...the country that never was.”
---
- Quackity shows Foolish his old house under Karl’s. He’s not seen Karl in a while. He sees that it’s been blown up, and there’s an old message to him from Sam. He’s not sure what happened.
- Quackity shows Foolish the message. Just as he’d said, Sam had given him Netherite armor once. Sam has a good heart. It’s in the right place, he just needs some guidance.
- He leads Foolish down the Prime Path, showing him the other buildings. He takes Foolish over to the museum. 
- They look at the maps and discuss routes again. Foolish asks about a road to the prison, and Quackity says improving his “commutes” would be nice 
- Quackity is glad Foolish is taking the chance on Las Nevadas. Quackity has to leave to address some business, but he’ll get on to help Foolish build the roads later. 
- Foolish goes back to Las Nevadas, looking out over at Wilbur and Tommy’s headquarters.
Foolish: “It’s kinda been a while since I’ve really had enemies enemies...but I have the feeling that is gonna change soon enough...Maybe not even enemies, but certainly not friends. Kind of a shame, though, I’ve yet to really meet Wilbur...”
- He gets out his shulker box from an Ender Chest and looks inside. There is a stack of TNT.
“It’s been a while...”
- Niki is at the Arctic. Wilbur is back. She thought she got rid of him and doesn’t know why he’s back now, in the only place she feels safe
Niki: “Who are you going to manipulate next, huh? Because it’s not gonna be me this time! It’s not gonna be me this time.”
- Tommy? Tubbo? Jack? Jack wouldn’t fall for it. Niki is upset that Wilbur didn’t check up on her. Why would he change? He never changes or cares
- Why would Dream revive him? Dream was his enemy, but at the end he was pretty fond of him
- Niki heads back through the Nether to her secret city. Now the world revolves around Wilbur again
- She still hasn’t finished her city and hasn’t been able to sleep. She goes to a chest to find the diamonds Wilbur once gave her
- Niki saw the TNT when she broke the wall, but she didn’t tell anyone, covered it back up. But Wilbur still blew it up anyway
- Niki puts the diamonds in a chest buried deep in the wall and covers it back up
- She goes back to the main area, to L’manburg. When she was in Manberg, Wilbur promised that he would get her out of there, and she waited weeks. And then Wilbur wasn’t the same person anymore
- Niki thought maybe while Wilbur was still alive, he could still be rescued, could still be happy
Niki: “But you will never be happy, because all you want is what you can’t have. And when you have everything...what will you fight for?”
- Niki wants to see him, ask why he never came back to her. She walks back to the Nether portal and the stream ends
- Bad shows up to L’Sandburg and notices L’Llamaburg next door. He’s upset about the new castle and wonders why Foolish would allow this, as it violates the agreement
- He reads the purpose of L’Llamaburg and is enraged. There’s only one option, and that’s war. He sets fire to the walls of L’Llamaburg, builds an extension on top of his tower to make it taller than Puffy’s build, and builds a giant sign saying “LIAR” 
- After visiting the main area to get some resources, he meets Antfrost on the Prime Path, who has a new skin for pride month! 
- Bad goes to the Arctic to bake a cake for Technoblade’s birthday. After finishing it, he leaves a letter requesting Techno’s assistance:
---
Dear Technoblade,
Greetings on this fine evening. I hope this letter finds you well and I hope your polar bears are doing excellent. It is with my sincerest apoligies that I disturb your peace but I must inquire about possibly obtaining your services. 
Important matters aside I have built a delicious giant cake for you in honor of your birthday. I hope this cake finds you well and may you have many excellent birthdays to follow. If you would be interested in possibly destroying my enemies for me and salting the earth they call home so that they never find happiness again that would be most kind. If you would like to discuss this matter further you know where to find me.
Kindest Regards BBH
---
- Later, Captain Puffy hears of this brewing war and comes online. She confronts Bad about the missing tower from her castle. Bad insists it wasn’t him, it was Ponk
- Puffy reminds Bad of Puffy and Ponk’s conflict from a while ago in which they destroyed each others builds, and says it’s only fair that, if Ponk really did destroy the tower, then she should destroy Ponk’s fridge
- Bad tries to reason with Puffy to not retaliate, while Puffy thinks tearing down the fridge would be doing the place a favor
- Bad brings up the buffer zone violation and they start arguing with each other over Foolish’s land, the turtles, Puffy blames Bad for killing her son, one thing leads to another and soon enough Puffy tells Bad that his L’Sandburg llama citizens are all into BDSM
- They go to the turtle enclosure and see Ponk’s ransom note. Bad says Ponk has to die. Puffy points out they could start with the fridge, and Bad says they should take his other arm. Ponk stole Shelly, they have to kill him
- Puffy gets angry at Bad not wanting to take down the fridge and brings up the death of her son again, how she thought Bad was going to turn over a new leaf at the Banquet and then that leaf ended up covered in blood instead
Puffy: “I should have taken your goddamn arm, Bad!”
- After talking more, the two finally work together to take down the supreme fridge
- Once finished, the two write a return note to Ponk. Bad wants to discuss things with Ponk, and there’s a place in Las Nevadas that he thinks would be good to meet
The note reads:
---
Dear Ponk,
It has come to our attention that you’ve been responsible for some heinous crimes!
Not only did you completely demolish Puffy’s original mushroom house which she let slide. You now have destroyed a tower of her sand castle. BUT IT DOESN’T STOP THERE!
WHERE IS SHELLY PONK!? You’ve not only commited crimes against Puffy but Bad as well! You’ve kidnapped Bad & Sheldon’s dearest Shelly for ransom!
So me and Bad decided to return the favor and give you a taste of your own disgusting medicine!
YOU’RE FRIDGE NO LONGER SUPREME! YOU’VE MESSED WITH THE WRONG MUFFINS AND TAKEN OUR KINDNESS FOR WEAKNESS TOO MANY TIMES!
We all need to talk immediately before this escalates more then it already has.
Leave a book back giving us a time and a place and we will try to attend.
You’ve been warned!
With love, BBH & PuffDaddy
---
- Bad still wants Puffy to move L’Llamaburg, but Puffy wants to stay and protect her son. Bad suggests an alliance: what if L’Sandburg and L’Llamaburg simply combine their territories? It would be beneficial for both nations
- Puffy is skeptical about Bad’s idea and decides that relocating is probably the smartest idea, as Ponk will probably retaliate against her
---
Upcoming Events:
- The final Egg lore stream
- Technoblade’s visit (this weekend)
- Puffy’s lore
- Tales From the SMP: “Space Race”
- Ponk’s lore stream
- Dream’s lore video
- Sapnap’s possible lore stream
- Awesamdude lore stream
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stylistiquements · 3 years
Text
Day 1 : Soap Bubbles.
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𐐪𐑂 Pairing : Sapnap x fem!reader {Playlist}
𐐪𐑂 Summary : You're being introduce to the internet in a peculiar way, it's up to you to decide what you're going to do with it.
𐐪𐑂 Word count : 1.4k | W: written part underneath
𐐪𐑂 Warning : very few swears
Masterlist | Previous | Next
.・゜゜・  ・゜゜・   .・゜゜・  ・゜゜・
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The coffee that sinks inside your stomach brings out a grimace and a click of your tongue where the taste stains; too bitter, too acidic but you’ll drink it anyway and to the last drop; there is something about the idea of spending time with three best friends that is so made of spring and honey that you wish to miss none of it.
“Someone is lurking,” George contemplates out loud, and the call goes silent for a second as if to look for the intruder. And it would so easy to flinch, to hit the back pedal, because you almost feel like one being exposed front stage like that. But today- today is not that day.
It's not that you don't want to join the discussion, it's that it takes a second to warm up, to absorb the energy and become one with it.
And sometimes, all it takes is Sapnap to exclaim, “Panini head, my beloved!” for your smile synchronizes with his chuckles. Somehow, once noticed by the right person, life flows back naturally.
George and Dream greets you in trailing unison, like two kids forced to greet their unwelcomed aunt on a sunday afternoon.
“H-hey troublemakers,” you finally say. Your voice is still quiet, not reluctant, but rather uncertain. It doesn't bother anyone.
“I’m beating Dream’s ass at chess and he’s bitter,” Sap explains, and you silently nod, as if they were able to see you.
A long silence follows along, rythmed by clicks of mouses and keyboards and it falls in your ears like high droplets. It's comfortable. It's intimate, shared with friends only.
"We haven't heard from you in a while," Dream says. "I mean ... before the clout fiasco."
You wouldn't exactly call it a fiasco, even though you don't really like the idea of being perceived a little too closely from the eyes of twitter.com, but you do agree anyway, "I've been caught up on college essays lately."
"That sucks," George probably adds.
“Good thing you’re here, then,” Dream notes, simple as a breath. “This is a worry-free zone.”
It hovers for a second, carried by George’s approval hum.
You squint suspiciously, detective mode, at the profile pictures that light on and off before your eyes, “Thanks, dream.”
He scoffs a “sure” and you’re not sure why you sense a bit of irony stuck on the back of his teeth. You're so tempted to call him out, but you don't. Instead, you write a mental note of this odd moment.
“It’s because I told him about your three brothers and now he’s scared they’re gonna find him and kick his ass,” Sap explains as if he just read your mind.
Sometimes, there’s this thing in the air, though you’re miles away. Something like a connection. There’s this thing when you don’t need to talk for Sap to understand. Sharing one brain cell, you dismiss ironically. Probably coincidences and predictability, but it always sounds a little special, a little like something you’d wish to be out of this world, like morning dew and fairy circles. And it makes you feel safe, at home, just like snuggling up in the sheets during a stormy night. Your smile washes up the sleeve of your hoodie, covered palm carefully hiding your chuckles.
“Three older brothers,” George muses, and there’s no telling if it’s something meant for you to hear. “That’s kinda scary.”
“You better be scared, one of them is probably your FBI agent,” you tease mindlessly, though there's nothing scary about those three grown men.
“I’m British, Bunny,” he points out. Whether the exasperation in his tone is fake or genuine, that, you can’t tell, but you play it cool, grin carved so deep it almost hurts. Dream’s wheezes rise and fall in the background.
“Say that to his face then,” you outbid smirkingly after a second of silence, heels growing into the carpet to make your chair spin slowly left and right, so breezily.
“I’d praise you for the rest of my life if you-Oooooooh your ass is wacked. Your ass is so wacked, dude. You fucked up so bad,” Sapnap chokes out between strings of giggles.
“Oh no, my streamer is losing his game?” You theatrically pout. “My streamer Dreamwastaken, have you met him? Guess you don’t need any of my brothers to kick your ass.”
“Okay yeah- no- it’s not my fault if your- they’re distracting me, okay?” Dream defends.
Slowly, the energy lowers again and the call remembers peace as Dream admits defeat.
“I’m not playing against you anymore,” he mumbles through greeted teeth, your hoodie shelters a muffled giggle. “Let’s talk about y/n’s twitter fame instead.”
“Let’s just not-” you mutter, both because seeing Dream lose at something is a miracle that has to be witnessed once and because you’re somewhat reluctant. “Let’s just not talk about that.”
“Yeah, sorry about that. I had no idea it would draw this much attention to you,” Sap admits.
“Well, you talk about her all the time it was only a matter of time before twitter finds out,” George taunts and you secretly smile, listening to the way your best friend tries to defend himself, mind flooded with the last memories you have of when you were able to see those chuckles for real.
“Yeah, Quackity already told me you guys talk behind my back,” you fakely muse. “That’s totally fine, I don’t wanna know what you guys are talking about at all.” It’s a lie, obviously, the idea creeps upon your mind with assumptions you can’t quite get a grip of nor let go.
“You and Quackity talk?’ Sapnap asks, hint of surprise, and you hum.
“Or rather, he talks to me. He keeps calling-.” Shit. The forsaken word traps itself into your mouth. It’s too silly anyway.
“Come on, just say it,” Dream pushes as if he knew too much, more than you even do, and your cheeks flush mindlessly. You don’t notice.
“Dream, quit it!” You demand.
“Quit what?”
“You talk as if you knew more than anyone did.”
“Maybe I just do,” he coos, so dream-like.
Oblivious or careless, Sapnap asks, “Is Quackity bothering you or something?”
“He-" you begin but stop to look for the right way to put it, "He triggers my flight or fight response.”
"I mean, duh," Sapnap probably rolls his eyes.
"But I like him. He's funny."
After a second of silence, George says, “Well that was unexpected.”
“Not so much, I think we’re both chaotic neutral people.”
“What is that neutral chaotic thing anyway?” Dream is confused.
Roll up your sleeve girl boss because now is your time to shine! You offer your best dream smp alignment chart to the classroom. They're speechless, but they listen carefully.
"Then you're more chaotic good than neutral. You're too sweet anyway," Sap says.
"I'd even say lawful good," George debates.
"That's because you haven't seen Bunny during her crazy cat hour."
"True," you note.
"She'll go absolutely batshit."
“What?" George burst between confusion and surprise. "We've never seen you like that."
"A lady never reveal her secrets," you retort. No one answer.
It leaves a second for your mind to enjoy peace. For your eyes to lay on c!tubbo on lawful good and think true, then on c!dream on chaotic evil and think also very true. You huff and it's like a wave; as sarcasm leaves your breath, an idea comes in.
"Sap, check your DMs," you request.
Surrounded by the evening lull, Sapnap’s laugh pops like soap bubbles, "God, you’re so stupid. Why can't you just marry me?"
“So, is it Sapnap approved?” You chuckle lightly to prevent Sapnap’s morning fresh laugh to fill your chest and leak everywhere.
“Just press ‘send tweet’ please,” he confirms with leftovers of a smile in his voice.
"George, get me out of here. They're doing it again," Dream whines.
"Doing what?" He asks, unbothered.
"Act like they're alone in the convo. Just get a room." And you don't get to stand up for yourself that you and your best friend are actually sent to another room.
"Well this one is chaotic evil confirmed," you mumble as you roll your eyes but the vibes are much peaceful, much more comfortable in here. "So ... hi."
"Hi," he chuckles in return.
Maybe that's for the best; a moment that needs to stay a little timeless, secretive and special. It hasn't happened in so long, you don't even remember the last time it did.
"I'm glad you're here. I miss you, you know?" He says, and it's hard to not feel so bittersweet about it. It's hard when longing involves a craved touch, a real smile and an eye contact. Your shoulder sinks in the chair a little harder.
"I miss you too. I'll be here soon," you promise. And soon couldn't come any sooner.
But the conversation, soft and free, will wash up any worries, as always, and you'll end up talking about everything and nothing, about streams and planned videos and college and god knows what. As long as it makes the two of you happy and smiling. Just like the old days, you'll both think and it's fair to say until the evening turns into night and night turns into fatigue.
"Are you sure you're okay about that clout?" He asks once again. "I know you don't like being exposed like that."
"Yeah, yeah don't worry too much about it. I'll try to make good use of it."
"I'm sure you will," he murmurs, but oh boy did he not know what was about to come until you two meet.
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.・゜゜・  ・゜゜・   .・゜゜・  ・゜゜・
Taglist : @open-minded-chip-101 ; @itsoakaa ; @gaysludge
A/N : so first of all it has come to my attention that 129 days from now on is actually my birthday so that's a weird coincidence lol. Hi how are you guys?? welcome to the first part I hope you liked it. I'm fairly new to the mcyt community and that's the first time I write for them, so bear with me. Feedbacks are always appreciated. Until next time (ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc)
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tepkunset · 3 years
Text
Rating all the Hellfire Gala 2021 Outfits in my Correct Opinion
(Long post alert!)
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Emma, being the Queen she is, gets three outfits. 1) The head piece is dumb; it looks like she made a failed attempt at origami and stuck it on her head. The boots are also dumb and for a moment I thought she had hooves. Despite this, it’s a bad bitch of an outfit and she makes it work. 5/10 2) I hate this. Not only did she take a page out of 90s Sue Storm’s book of ridiculous shaped boob windows, she cut it out of a shag rug and draped it over her shoulders, then stuck whatever the hell that thing is on her head. 0/10 3) This one is my favourite of the three; the only thing I’m not a fan of is the weird short gloves because I hate that as a general fashion mistake. But the long stringy dress matched with her diamond form makes her look like a walking fancy chandelier in heels, aka her ultimate form. 9/10
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Rogue easily has one of my favourite looks. The glasses really put the whole outfit of an 80′s pop singer together. That collar, those shoulder pads, that belt... omf. 10/10
Angel my darling, we all know you’ve always been a tits out at any opportunity kinda guy, and that’s a pretty cool shawl. But my god, what are those pregnancy culottes you’re wearing? Not for you. 5/10
Rachel... we’ve already arrived at my absolute least favourite I guess. Fuck whatever the fuck this ugly, slimy looking shit is, oh my god. Of all the outfits she has ever been in, why would you want to draw back to her Excalibur Hound days? Who greenlit this, and why would you miss the supreme opportunity to put her in a stylish butch outfit she used to be known for? -10/10
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Betsy just looks like an Imperial British themed Sailor Moon character. I don’t even have anything more to say. 0/10.
Storm has yet another one of my favourites, oh my god I love how her hair is styled like a cloud, blending in with her cloud cloak that’s part fashion, part power flex... The engraved gold shoulder pads, the countless gold rings on her arms and neck... she has never looked more like an actual goddess. 11/10
Kitty... I hate that this outfit would have been killer if it had been the whole symmetrical coat with a nice red halter underneath or something. Instead it looks like she’s wearing tissue paper stuffed around her body and held together with a half-finished coat. The boots are nice though, and I’m still happy that after so many decades, artists are drawing her with her classic Magen David necklace again. 5/10
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Monet has the ugly short gloves and a weird origami mistake on her head like Emma, I see. But everything else about her outfit is supreme, so at least that compensates. I love the sharp angles and the mesh flowing pants. (Looking way better on her than Angel.) 7/10
Jean has one of the few giant headpieces I actually like, and like Storm, I love that part of her outfit is just a power flex. All in all hers is up there in my favourites as well. I’m starting to think shoulder pads are they key... 10/10
Cyclops my dude, if your motivations for looking like a rejected Power Ranger are to help Jean look even better by standing next to you, I assure you she does not need the assistance. 0/10
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Mastermind looks like he’s cosplaying an early 1900′s vampire, so that’s pretty on brand but nothing special. 2/10
Selene is wearing more clothes than I think she ever has, which is kind of hilarious to me and I’m giving points for the irony. I like her Nicki Minaj high ponytail. 6/10
Jamie, we get it, you’re cishet. 0/10
Sunspot really flew down from space and was like “time to show these bastards how it’s fucking DONE.” He made himself into an erupting volcano. This look is so beyond extra, I love it. 9/10
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Laura I’m so sorry that apparently no one at Marvel remembered all the times you’ve explicitly said you do not feel comfortable wearing dresses. I am so sorry that they’ve done this to you. You deserved a kickass suit and we all know it. 0/10 for character butchering
Synch’s jacket is so fucking good oh my god oh my god oh my god, it’s even more complimented by the slick black. Of all the outfits on the simpler side, his is my fave. Of all the outfits altogether, it’s one of my fave. 10/10
Sam looks like he showed up in a regular suit, saw everyone else looking so much better, and then quickly added an emergency shawl to try and compensate at least a little. It’s still way boring. 2/10
Sunfire has an amazing jacket here, yet again proving shoulder pads are the way to go. It’s hard to see in the image probably, but it’s got a really intricate subtle pattern too that's pretty sweet. The loose pants do not work with the rest of the outfit, though. 7/10
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Colossus... I have no idea why he has a whole page to himself when his outfit isn’t even that snazzy. I mean, it’s way better than I’d ever expect, don’t get me wrong, but let’s just say the commentary on his outfit, “a walking expression of masculine power” is exactly why I’m put off. But I do like that he’s added a flare of Slavic style. 4/10
Polaris looks like she’s wrapped one of those inflatable pool floats around her body. 0/10
Northstar apparently joined the same 80′s pop band as Rogue, or started his own with a bit more of a punk flare. I really like how shiny his outfit is, but can’t help but think about what a wasted opportunity to give the underside of his cloak some night sky stars. 7/10
Kyle was like “if I’m going to this mutant gala, I’m going to show them what a high fashion suit really looks like.” Bless that cape, bless those shoulder pads, bless that belt. 7/10
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Daken buddy, if the most interesting thing anyone can say about your look at a fashion party is that you forgot to put shoes on, you’re doing it very wrong. 0/10
Aurora looks very elegant. That said, I also feel there was a huge missed opportunity with hers; imagine that dress, but with more colours blended into the trail? 7/10
David’s dress is very pretty, but I’m not convinced it’s in character for him to wear it? On one hand, he’s never shown any inclination towards daring fashion before, but on the other, I can also see him willing to try something adventurous for a special evening like this, so I’m on the fence about it. 5/10
Eye-Boy being so unashamed of his physical mutation, nay, so proud of his physical mutation, is adorable, and I love the fabric pattern. That said, I have no idea what is going on with that gold chain around his arms and head. 7/10
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Bishop... I feel like this is what Piotr was trying to go for and failed to do without it being both lacklustre and eye-roll inducing. Also, have I said how much I like his haircut lately? Because it’s the best hair he’s ever had tbh. 10/10
Shaw. Next. 0/10
Pyro looks surprisingly good; the stringy necklace “shirt” actually works for him, and adds a bit of flare to the suit. I just wish he’d hurry up and die and resurrect already to be rid of that dumb face tat. 6/10
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Banshee is a surprise contender in the list of good simpler looks! Gotta love those shoulder pads and that cape, but what really makes this outfit rock is the crooked thrown on tie and the loafers lmfao he’s such a dad even here. 6/10
Iceman is a guy who wears polo shirts and cargo shorts 24/7. I am calling bullshit that he would ever rock heels and a dress. 0/10 for character butchering
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Psylocke’s dress is utterly gorgeous. I love the trail of flowers, and the semi-transparent loose sleeves with the pink sleeves underneath to compliment said flowers. The only thing I’m not a fan of is just how thick and tall her top knot is. 8/10
Sinister just looks like he always does. 0/10
Exodus just looks like he always does. 0/10
Havok... it pains me to admit I really like this look. I’m a sucker for black and white, and I really love the circle designs on the fabric. But I am not a fan of those white strip things around his shoulders. 6/10
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Mystique looks like a harpy. 2/10
Dazzler the disco mom is all flare, literally, and we love her for it. 6/10
Loa said “I feel like being a lion fish today” and then made it happen. I’m just... not sure why. I do like the design, though. Lion fish are pretty and she makes it work. 6/10
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Mercury is... literally just naked. Why. -10/10
Nightcrawler my babe, I know you can do way better than this. Look, I love the pirate vibe, but where is the splashiness? Where is the showmanship? Where is the pizzazz? 5/10
Pixie looks like, well, a bubblegum gothic pixie, which while on brand is nothing special aside from the pretty butterflies. 5/10
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Dani my cherished beloved, I almost completely adore this look for you. That cape with those shoulder pads are *chefs kiss*. That crown is *chefs kiss*. That dress is *chefs kiss*. But what is going on with your shoes. They make it look like you have hooves for feet. 9/10
Karma’s look is proof that the thick coat look can work when done well. Pink is well established as her signature colour, and I really like how the jacket collar flares around her head in the same design as the classic visual display of her using her powers. 9/10
Magik looks like such a mess, and I have so many questions, mostly surrounding how her look even works. Is she wearing some kind of holographic projector to show those floating horns and apparently fluttering fabric... whatever? Is it wire work? I have no idea, but I don’t even care because it looks ugly on her. 1/10
Jimmy my bud... all that praise for shoulder pads? This is. Not what I meant. Oh my god. It looks like he’s wearing a couple of angry Star Trek tribbles. 0/10
Warlock is not pictured because he’s just formed himself a bow-tie, but I give him a 10/10 for being Warlock
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Magneto looks like he’s a steampunk pimp daddy and it is not working for him. 3/10
Frenzy is even more elegant than Aurora and I love how she looks like a space princess. Her collar also reminds me of Vivienne from Dragon Age so that’s pretty iconic. 7/10
Wiz Kid has been listening to Rocket Man by Elton John on repeat and was super inspired. 9/10
Khora... I have no idea who you are, but your lolita style is successfully very cute. 7/10
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Eden has the absolute BEST look among every single one in this book. I stan this look so much, it’s so good wtf. I can’t even. This design has got me speechless. I’m just... I’m just gonna copy/paste the commentary: “For a man who chitchats with the universe, Eden Fesi has a shockingly down-to-earth charm. This is a playful outfit to match, taking nods from his First Australian heritage and mixing them with a touch of classic science fiction, in a mix of lush royal orange and sizzling rocket ship silver. Interlocking circles create a sneaky X motif that suggests Eden's just as home on Krakoa--or 22,000 miles above it--as he is in Avengers Mansion or a Wakandan palace. One thing's for sure--the Everywhere Man's look will be everywhere this summer.” 10,000/10
Jubilee has a pretty run of the mill dress, and it’s underwhelming for someone whose been such a fashion icon through the years. I would have at least expected more colours. Also, I’m not sure why her skin is greenish here, wtf? 3/10
Gambit decided to give Warren an example of the pants he should have worn with his outfit. That said, like Jubilee I find this look pretty underwhelming for him. I feel in the least they could’ve given him a fancier coat, you know? 4/10
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Jamie apparently decided to not only wear all white, but paint his entire body white too... Okay I know the actual case is that it’s just not coloured, but how am I supposed to judge that? But judging just the design is enough to say I hate it. It looks like he’s wearing a lamp shade and a wrestling singlet. 0/10
Meggan looks like a Disney Princess and it’s certainly pretty, but also pretty boring. 5/10
Rictor... I already said all I have to say about this one. 2/10
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Everyone with X-Force decided to coordinate, but I’d really like to know who is responsible for deciding that coordination should be wet suits with bolo ties. Because congratulations to all of them for winning the title of second worst outfit. (Though Beast looks especially awful, oh my god.) 0/10
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Professor X oh my god. This motherfucker decided to challenge everyone who said his ugly giant helmet and unitard look could not possibly be any worse. 0/10
That’s it!
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Text
Do you ever just watch a year old midsommar review where you just know the reviewer has weird dudebro brainrot so they are physically incapable of understanding the deeper meaning of the movie
So far this person has said:
> Dani is annoying, needy, and overly emotional
Yes ..... That's the point. Trauma can make you annoying, needy and overly emotional, especially pair that with the anxiety of growing up with a heavily mentally ill sibling.
> Dani is unlikable
Dani isn't a hero protagonists who you have to like. The goal of every movie doesn't have to be that you like the protag as a person. You just have to know that she is in a very bad place.
> Dani should have just gotten over her family's death in 6 months (or at least played it off as a joke as if it wasn't an important part of the movie)
No. Just no.
> christian is the victim and did nothing wrong
Oh my god did we watch the same fucking movie. He's stuck in a shitty place, he's bad if he breaks up with her and bad if he doesn't. He chose to stay with her while also remaining emotionally unavailable and even somehow turns the blame directly onto her when she finds out he planned a trip without her because he intented to break up with her before her family died. This is what the movie leaps off of from the start. This is what primes Dani to be the most vulnerable to the cult.
> the death of Dani's family plays no role in the movie
Genuinely need to know if this dude has a single ounce of emotional intelligence or does he think that somehow the cult needed to have literally planned her family's death in order for the movie to have a good pay off. Her family's death was just supposed to add to her crippling loneliness. She is the perfect victim for a cult because of this. They target her because of this. That's the point. Oh my god.
> why didnt everyone just leave??
Slightly valid point but they were also tripping on acid the entire time. Also, the British couple did want to leave, they got killed. The vast majority of the group are anthropology students- their whole field of interest is based on studying this type of stuff. Anthropologists irl have studied weirder shit from weirder isolated tribes.
But also, this is a horror movie. Suspend your disbelief for two hours.
> Christian is raped and killed and it's framed like he deserved it. The feminists can't keep getting away with this.
This is what grinds my gears the hardest, because people who liked the movie and people who dislike the movie will say this same thing. No, Christian didn't deserve to be sexually assaulted and no he didn't deserve to be brutally killed. You're expected to exercise the tiniest amount of critical thinking to understand that the cult was manipulating Dani and preying on her to this point. Just because some weirdos on Twitter don't understand that, doesn't mean that's what the director intended. You're supposed to be horrified. That's. The. Point.
> the movie was too long and I got bored
Surprised he even sat through the movie tbh
This is like joker (2019) all over again except the sides are switched. This is more akin to a character study, with a horror spin, of someone indoctrinated by a cult than anything else. You're supposed to see how all the circumstances of her life converge into the moment she finally loses it in the end, groomed by a Nazi white supremacist cult. Nothing more, nothing less. My god.
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yungbludy · 4 years
Text
the hills have eyes
plot ↬ being attracted to one overwhelming person known as yungblud is alresdy too much for you. adding mgk in the mix is even worse.
warnings ↬ there’s tension here yes yes, smut!! threesome!! fingering & handjobs, writing colson is so fun i didn’t realize how hot he was lol 😳, hint at something going on between colson & dom, dom & reader like each other, maybe a pt 2?
a/n ↬ i know y’all have been wanting this for the LONGEST, and it’s easily my most requested fic. enjoy it!
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When you left college with a degree in music production, you never would’ve expected to land in the studio of Yungblud, a young but upcoming artist with his own charm to set him apart from the rest. He was easily the most hyperactive artist you’ve worked with, someone with a truly pure heart that cared deeply for his music and his fans. It was a breath of fresh air, because out of all the artists you’ve worked with—big and small, you don’t think you’ve ever come across someone so genuine.
It was almost fate how you went from being in the studio with him every other week to nearly every day. He loved your presence; you made him see things differently, made him hear things he had never heard before. You made him feel smarter, more experienced.
A friendship blossomed. It was nice, because you didn’t have that many friends when you left college. Dominic introduced you to other people too, such as his band mate Adam, and they adored you. You were the calm before the storm of Dominic in their eyes. You balanced each other out, like some rock n’ roll version of a Yin and Yang.
Before you would hang out in groups. You, Dominic, and maybe a few other friends attending concerts or going to a restaurant together. You liked it—these people knew you and liked you, and you felt like you had a place.
You didn’t know when the... shift started. When it started becoming just you, and Dominic. When he texted you if you wanted to hang out at his place, (not a date or anything, just hanging out lol 🖤). When you still saw your friends, but you were seeing Dominic’s face more and more.
But you knew as soon as that started happening, that the feelings you had for Dominic—as a friend and as a partner, started becoming way too deep way too fast.
And honestly? It scared you. Your last relationship was in college and that didn’t go so well because you both had different outlooks on how you wanted to continue your life. You weren’t ever a relationship type of person and barely found yourself developing fucking crushes on people.
But you were crushing on Dominic. Hard.
As cliche as it sounds, being around him gave you literal butterflies. Seeing texts from him made you smile, and when his arms wrapped around you and he looked at you with all his teeth out, his eyes clenched shut—God. You were falling, and you were falling hard.
That was, until, Colson came into the mix.
You liked some of his music. You weren’t a big fan of “MGK”, and only really knew about him because of the whole beef he had with Eminem. You remembered that one song—fucking Wild Boy, being played in a few clubs and parties during college, but you didn’t have any liking towards him.
But... wow. He and Dominic together were a force to be reckoned with.
Colson was a good person. A loving father and a talented individual—not to mention he was also fucking hilarious too. Having him around in the studio guaranteed no bad days, because he could also make you feel better with a corny joke or a funny assortment of curse words.
You liked him, over time. Not to mention he was drop dead gorgeous, tall and tatted and pierced and just... fuck. It would be a lie if you said you weren’t intimidated by his presence.
But in reality, he was a sweetheart. A gentleman.
So why did you start feeling butterflies for him too?
Having a crush on two people just seemed so out of this world to you that you didn’t even understand it. It made no sense. You and Dominic had known each other longer, and you weren’t dumb—you knew he liked you back. But with Colson.. you didn’t know if those butterflies were in your stomach, or if they were somewhere were they definitely, definitely shouldn’t fucking be.
You were good at controlling yourself when it came to these two. It had been a few weeks since you’ve met Colson and two months since you met Dominic. They were working on music together—a song, that they didn’t know what to title yet, and you were right there, helping them with everything.
This also meant that they were together. All. Of. The. Time.
Having two extremely attractive men, men that you were also extremely attracted too together all the time was going to be very bad for your health. But all three of you had a main goal at the end of the day, and that was to make a song together. They wanted to make a song that pertained to them, that took both of their struggles and related them to each other. Being Dominic’s right-hand-man at this point, you were more than happy to oblige in helping.
But you just didn’t know what you were getting yourself into.
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“Maybe some shit that’s like, kinda emo, kinda not?”
“Kells, man... you need to /make/ that make sense.”
You can’t help the laugh that leaves you, smiling when both of their heads turn towards you.
“Y’all are just cute when you bicker.”
“Y/NNNNN,” Colson whines a little, his arms stretching to drape over your body. God, he has so many tattoos that you couldn’t possibly count them on your two hands and feet. “Help us. I’ve never been this stuck on a song.”
“Well, a mix of punk and rap, right?” You asked, humming as you scoot up to your monitor, going through a list of sample beats you always stored when songs were being made.
“That sounds ‘bout right,” Dominic spoke, both of his elbows being placed on his knees as he looked up at you. “Think that’s a perfect mix of us two, yeah?”
You picked out some beats—layering some, taking some away. While this process could be therapeutic to you, it could be also quite annoying, and it would’ve been if it wasn’t for the two grown men looming over your shoulder.
“What about this one,” you almost jumped as you heard Colson right near your ear, his voice powered into a whisper. He reached over you, his skin brushing against yours and you had to force yourself to look at the screen. Jesus Christ, you really needed to get laid. “How’s that?”
“‘ts good. I like it fo’ now!” Dominic joked, and a laugh rumbled in you stomach. “If we don’t like it, we could always change it tomoro or somethin’.”
“Okay, well, beats settled... now we need some lyrics.” you spoke, backing up a little—you would’ve backed up farther if Colson’s arm wasn’t on the back of your chair. “Got any?”
Silence. You rolled your eyes—you had told them days prior to come with lyrics. Nothing had to rhyme, but something to make an idea off of.
“Too busy clubbing to write lyrics-great.” you huffed, shaking your head as you stood to leave, but two hands reached out to stop you.
“Sorryyy, that’s our fault, really.” Colson spoke, locking eyes with you when you turned to look at the both of them. “Let’s make some together, yeah? All three of us motherfuckers. You know we couldn’t make up good lyrics without you anyway.”
You caved. Goddammit, he was so good at charming you and so good at fucking /flirting/. You found yourself sitting back down with a notebook out in just a few minutes of playful begging from the two of them.
“Since I watched The Hills Have Eyes for the first time yesterday with you two wankstains, I think that should be incorporated into here~” Dominic giggled, scribbling down the title of the infamous horror movie on a piece of notebook paper. “Where did all that shit happen, by the way? New York, Cali, Las Ve-“
“No, dipshit, Nevada. Did you watch the movie at all?” Colson huffed, reaching over to flick Dominic in the center of his forehead, in which the British male playfully bit down on Colson’s finger. The blonde grinned, and your eyebrows furrowed. What the hell?
“Nevada’s by Cali so we’re using California.” Dominic shrugged, scribbling more words down. “How’s... I wunna hide in the hills of California—but these hills have eyes, and I have paranoia?”
It took you a minute but you eventually nodded at it. “If we revise it a little bit then—yeah, that could work!”
“Awesome! Maybe you should get on your shit, Kells.” Dominic teased him, pink tongue pointing out at Colson, and your lips twitched.
“Fuck off.” Colson continued that grin—that little smirk, like they both knew something you didn’t. The day dragged on—more lyrics, more laughing, more inside jokes. By the time the session ended you were exhausted, your head kinda hurt, and you wanted nothing more than to head home and sleep, but Dominic stopped you before you left completely.
“Are you alright?” he asked, your hand in his as he looked at you with slight worry. His hair was pushed back, so he looked just too adorable with his forehead out and crinkled. He was worried. Worried about you, and that made your heart flutter.
“I think I’m good, just a little tired,” you offered a reassuring smile, lifting your bag up to your shoulder. “Why?”
“You seemed a little out of it,” he remarked, keeping your hand in his as he started to walk next to you. This was normal—Dominic walking you out to your car, then watching you drive to your apartment after he gave you a kiss goodbye, of course; some of them were on your forehead, some cheeks, and most recently, he’s teasingly brushed his lips against yours, only to see you blush and frantically push him away. “Just making sure you’re alright.”
“I’ll be okay, Dom,” you snicker, but you just love the fact that he can see through you. See when you’re uncomfortable or feel weird. “Thanks, though.”
“Of course darlin’,” his voice has dropped in volume and when you look at him, his eyes are boring into yours. You blink. “Drive home safe, yeah?!”
Both of his hands grab your face, squishing your cheeks—and you sputter a laugh as he kisses all over your face. Covering your forehead, your nose, your cheeks—and finally resting at your lips.
It’s like time has stopped. You smile, feeling warm—his hands haven’t left your face and you can feel his warm breath against your mouth. He leans in closer, and you feel that familiar thrum in your chest, his lips brushing against yours one, two, three times, before he only pecks you and pulls away.
You don’t even remember closing your eyes, but when they open, he’s walking back into the building, leaving you feeling lost.
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To make it up for you for yesterday, the dynamic duo wanted to spend the entire day getting a good portion of the song done. This meant you had to wake up at nine am to be at the studio, something you were definitely not looking forward to, but you couldn’t complain about it. You three had a pretty good work ethnic, so you knew once you would get there, time would probably fly by.
You came to the studio in some fuzzy Hello Kitty pajama pants and a long sleeved shirt, not bothering to dress up too much since you would possibly be here all day. You didn’t look your best, but by the way Dominic’s eyes scanned you when you walked into the studio, you doubted he really cared.
“Well hello kitty-kat,” you heard Colson’s amused tone from the small couch by the door behind you, his body approaching yours to walk past you. His hand slipped over your waist, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. “Doesn’t Y/N just look the absolute cutest.”
“Shut up, asshole.” You grumbled, your cheeks hot as you ditched your slippers and made your way to your seat. You stretched, hearing some bones crack in your back, a tired yawn leaving your lips before returning to your sitting position and opening up your notebook. “So. Where are we starting today?”
When you looked up, both of them looked a little dazed—but the expressions disappeared in just a few seconds. That was weird.
“Welllll, I think I’ve got a title,” Dominic grinned cheekily, standing up with his hands clasped. “I liked what ya said yesterday... I think I’m good. That sounds pretty—American, doesn’t it?”
“Eh...” you started, but quickly took it back when Dominic’s face fell almost comically. “No! It’s not bad, but, I don’t know... how about another word, other than good?”
“Fine?” Dominic asked, looking at you with a smirk. Confusion racked through you.
“Okay,” Colson spoke up, reading over the page of lyrics with narrowed, concentrated eyes. “I think I’m okay.”
You contemplated it. It reminded you of My Chemical Romance, but there wasn’t anything wrong with that... their fans would probably like that, too.”
“I think I’m okay. Yeah, I like that.” you smiled, moving to your monitor to title the beats you already had. I Think I’m Okay.
“Perfect.” you beamed. “Now let’s get to work.”
The day went by pretty smoothly. Dominic and Colson worked better than you thought, and in your opinion, you were the icing to their cake. Being a producer meant you were there to perfect things—add something to make them sound just a tad bit better, to make the song flow just a little smoother. Perfecting the beats was something you absolutely adored to do, especially when you felt them both staring at the side of your face as you did it.
They admired you. And that sent shivers down your spine.
“Jesus fuck, ‘m hungry.” you grumbled. The clock above your head read two pm, meaning you had been here for six hours total. It wouldn’t have seemed like that if your stomach wasn’t grumbling like crazy.
“We can tell.” Colson joked, his fingers poking at your tummy. “Kitty’s talking to us.”
You knew it didn’t mean to be an innuendo, but you took it that way, and you’re sure Dominic probably did too with the expression that crossed his face.
“I’ll order some pizza.” Dominic sung out, British accent flowing through the air as he stood to grab his phone and leave. You had been alone with Colson once before, but that was before you recognized your attraction towards the male. Now, you were very, very aware of the fact.
“Cmon kitty, you’ve been sitting in that chair for hours and I know that ass hurts,” Colson smirked knowingly, grabbing your hands to lift you out of your seat. “Lemme help you stretch~”
“I don’t need help, you damn skyscraper.” You said stubbornly, but Colson paid no mind to you, grabbing both of your arms and lifting them above your head. It did make you feel much better, and you would’ve stayed in the position if his long fingers didn’t suddenly dig in your sides and under your armpit.
“I-get off of me!” you laughed loudly, squirming in his tight hold as he squeezed you even closer to his body. You could feel his chest press against your back, but you weren’t focused on it, just how much you were laughing from his antics.
“Hell nah! I’ve barely seen you laugh today, kitty~” he purred into your ear, and your thighs clenched. “Keep on fighting, nothing will happen babe.”
“Fuck you!” you shouted, successfully finding your way out of his grasp, but that didn’t stop him at all. He grabbed you again and while he did so, you were moving backwards—eventually landing you both on the small couch in the room. You wiggled your arms through his grip, letting your fingers dig into his sides in a similar manner—and your smile hurt with how loud he started laughing afterwards. You were sure after the short five minutes the tickle attack took that you were all over the place, and so was he—panting on top of you with both arms over your body.
“You’re an asshole.” you murmured against his shoulder, since his body was draped over yours. You wished it would’ve stayed that way, because he lifted himself, and you turned into jelly with how he looked at you—and that stupid fucking grin that spread across his face.
“Got you to laugh, didn’t I?” he asked, rolling off of you. The warmth that left your body—from your stomach, ribs, and a few inches below your bra, told you that the tickle fight was much, much more than that.
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A month had passed since that day. It was more then enough time for more tension filled encounters—more of Colson’s hands on you, more of Dominic’s teasing kisses. It had gotten so bad that you needed to excuse yourself in the middle of a session to calm yourself down in the bathroom, because holy hell. Those boys were a lot—and the fact you had the audacity to think about taking both of them at once. You literally could never.
The song wasn’t that hard to make. With a few more helping hands, plus your expertise and their work as well, it was nearly done. Final vocals just needed to be recorded and some cleans up—and then, I Think I’m Okay would be released to the world.
This Friday would be a night that all three of you would go out clubbing, but you decided to visit the studio to listen to the rough draft the two had recorded previously. You were in matching all black outfits which definitely wasn’t planned. The dress you were wearing was a bit out of your comfort zone, but you decided—why not? You wouldn’t be the only girl there and you knew you looked decent, at least.
“Wow,” you murmur, a little speechless as the rough vocals of I Think I’m Okay fill the studio at full volume. The lights are off because it’s dark, so the only source of light in the room is your monitor. “Wow. We fucked this up.”
“What?!” Dominic shouted, eyes wide. You laughed.
“Not in that way! I mean, we fucked this, in a really good way.” you said, excited, bouncing a little in your seat. “Fuuuck, can’t wait to release this shit.”
Colson’s hand is hot and heavy when you feel it against your thigh, playing with the hem of your dress. “Couldn’t do it without you, kitty.”
You swallow. No, not tonight. You were going to have fun tonight. Not be in a state of sexual frustration because of these two.
“Right,” Dominic hummed, and you freeze when his arm wraps around your waist, his chin on your shoulder. “Y/N, I never really thank ya properly for all you do for me, do I?”
“Huh? Of course you do.” you tell him, but you’re a bit distracted by Colson’s wandering hand. It shifts, moving to the inside of your thigh, rubbing softly at your skin. His thumb is close, too close to your pussy, but you don’t push his hand away, because you don’t want to.
You like it. You want his hand to come closer, just a little closer—
“I don’t,” Dominic whispers, those thick lips brushing against your ear, and you almost jump out of your skin. “I should.”
“Dom...” you whisper nervously, eyes widening when his hand slides to the middle of your back and up your spine, fingers locking at the zipper. The slide of your dress being unzipped goes along perfectly o the tempo of the song, and so does Colson’s molding of your thigh, his hand eventually finding way because your closed legs, pressing right up against your underwear.
“Think the kitty wants me,” Colson sighs huskily, and your jaw drops. Holy fuck. “Am I wrong?”
“Is he?” Dominic presses when you don’t answer, his hand somehow making its way inside your dress, finding its way to your sleeves and yanking them down. Oh, fuck. “Ya want us both, don’t ya darlin’?”
“Oh my god.” is all you can whisper, earning chuckles from both of the men who play so deviously with your body. Colson finds your clit with no help at all, pressing against the little bud, right as Dominic takes both of your breasts out of your bra and palms them hungrily. Two sets of hands touching you makes your head roll back, and you can only comply as one of Colson’s hands presses against your left thigh, spreading your legs open.
“Put your legs on the desk for me, pretty,” he whispers and you do so, heels still on your feet. “Mm, yeah, that’s good—damn, look at you. So fucking hot.”
To your surprise, it seems like Colson is doing most of the talking, since Dominic’s mouth finds itself on one your perked nipples. He sucks it into his mouth, making it all pert and wet and your toes curl against the velvet surface of your shoe.
“When I had you on that couch, I wanted to ram the shit out of you, even if you were wearing those stupid ass pants,” Colson tells you, slipping your panties to the side and dragging his fingers up your slit. You’re almost embarrassed from how wet you sound. “Had to remember the British cunt has a little crush on you, though. Didn’t wanna break his heart.”
“Fuck off, ya asshole.” Dominic’s mouth leaves your breast, cheeks red at the fact that he was just exposed like that. “I was gonna tell her that my fookin self!”
“You’re telling me she didn’t know?” Colson chuckled, one of his hands grabbing your chin to roll your head towards him. “Did you?”
“Mmf—I-I knew,” you murmured helplessly, your back aching as two long, thin fingers push inside of you, spreading themselves. “Always knew.”
“But I like you too, kitty, maybe like you even more than him,” Colson smirks, his mouth pressing against yours, and you bite down on his lip when Dominic bites down against your nipple. “Now we’re both gonna make our girl cum.”
Our girl.
You could cum from those words alone.
Colson’s fingers work magic inside of you, pressing further until you feel lightheaded, then easing themselves out and repeating the process. Dominic’s fingers find your clit, rubbing it quicker then the pink vibrator you used before even getting dressed. Your hands are against both of their thighs as your body grinds down against them, both of their mouths meeting yours at different times, kissing you or letting you moan out against their mouths. I Think I’m Okay plays over and over again with no one to stop it, hiding your loud sounds.
You’re close. So, so close, but you don’t want to cum without giving them some type of pleasure—so, to the best of your ability, you start to unzip their pants, bulges very angry underneath the fabric.
“Ooh, fook yeah,” Dominic whispers, taking his jeans off quickly and wrapping your hand around his cock, going cross eyed at the feeling. “Yeah, jerk my fuckin cock.”
Colson isn’t too far behind in revealing himself. You try to stroke them both, but you’re so overwhelmed that sometimes your pace quickens on one and slows on the other. Their bodies are pressed as tightly as they can be against yours, and sometimes wet fingers find their way against your neck, or grabbing at your chests—with wide open mouths against your face.
“I-I think I’m gonna cum,” your pant out, your hips rolling in circles and your grip on their cocks growing even tighter, causing them to make their own sounds of delight. “So close-“
“Cum, kitty kitty,” Colson tells you, his lips wrapping around your earlobe. “Soak this fucking chair, pretty.”
And that’s exactly what you do.
Dominic busts right after you, feeling your clit spasm against his fingers was enough to send him over the edge. Colson isn’t too far behind, getting extra leverage because of both of your cum covered hands jerking him off until he shoots his seed out as far as it can go. It’s a heavenly sight, and for the first time you hear him whimper—a sound that’ll be engraved in your mind for days.
You three sit there, panting, covered in sweat and cum. You lick your lips, your hearing picking up the two shifting to clean you up and dress you, much to your confusion.
“What? You think you were gonna cum once tonight and that would be it?” Colson chuckled, already helping you out of your chair.
“Just wait till we get to this club,” Dominic continues, his hand tightly groping your ass. “You’re gonna have the night of your fucking life.”
And you’re certain that you will.
2K notes · View notes
Our Little Secret
description: you and rudy have been sneaking around for a while now, what happens when you get caught in front of thousands of fans?😳😳
warnings: making out?? ooo and swearing oops (as a british person i can’t just NOT swear)
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            Rudy’s lips smashed against yours, moving hungrily as his arms snaked around your waist. You gasped, arms moving to hook around his neck as he slipped his tongue in your mouth. You had to be on set in five, and you were just passing the time with your good friend Rudy in his trailer.
Between the two of you, neither of you were quite sure what you were. So far, all you guys had done was purely physical. Of course, there had been lingering touches, longing stares, stolen smiles. But you hadn’t talked about it. 
It had started with flirty jokes, and then, boom! It just kinda happened, if you were being honest.
Not breaking the kiss, the two of you stumbled backwards until you bumped into the table. You jumped up and he took his pace between your legs, detaching his lips from yours and turning his attention to the skin on your neck. You moaned, heading rolling back to give him more access.
“Hey, Rudy? You in there?” Your eyes widen at the voice outside the trailer door, freezing both yours and Rudy’s movements.
“Uh, yeah?” Rudy says, clearing his throat.
“Why’s the door locked, toot?” You could practically see the suggestive smirk on Chase’s face.
“Cause I’m about to take a shit and I didn’t want anyone to come in here and smell that,” Rudy replies, looking at you with a grin on his face. You rest your head in the crook of his neck, pressing your face up to it to suppress your laughter.
Chase laughs. “Alright, then, but have you seen Y/N? I’ve been looking for her everywhere.”
“Nah, sorry bro,” Rudy calls out when you shake your head at him. “I’ve gotta take this shit or I’ll explode. See you in a sec.”
“It’s good, bro,” Chase replies. “She’s gotta be on set now, though. I’ll find her, don’t worry about it. Probably went off to craft services or something.”
You glare at the door where Chase is stood on the other end, but your eyes widen wen you realise you’re gonna be late to set.
“Cya, man,” Rudy says, helping you down from the counter as you pat down your hair. Chase mumbles a “bye”.
You two wait until it’s clear, giving Rudy a quick peck as you subtlety sneak out the trailer door once you’re sure Chase is gone.
As you walk - more like jog - away, you look back. Through the window you salute to Rudy, and he salutes back with a maniacal grin on his perfect face.
You’ve just finished shooting for the day, and straight away, you headed over to see Rudy. He’d slid you a note earlier in the day to meet him at his trailer once you were done.
Arriving, you were immediately pulled into a kiss by by the blond headed bimbo who’d stolen your heart. You smiled against his lips, happily thinking about the fact that you could finally call him yours.
Around two weeks ago now you two had finally sorted through your shit and admitted your feelings for each other. However, you’d both decided it would be better if you kept your newfound relationship to yourselves. You didn’t want to make things awkward if it didn’t work out, and, besides, sneaking around was fun. “Think of it as our little secret,” you had said.
You pulled away from the kiss and he pouted. Laughing, you pecked him on the cheek and watched as a smile took over on his lips. Rudy’s arms situated themselves around your waist as he laid the two of you down on the makeshift sofa in his trailer.
Rudy was lying on your lap as you played with his hair, occasionally kissing him as some stupid ass movie played on the TV. It was a nice breather from all the crazy scenes you’d been filming and you couldn’t feel more relaxed.
Well, that was until there was a knock at the door. You wasted no time in rushing into the bathroom, hiding as Rudy went to answer the door.
“Yo, dude,” you hear JD greet and you mentally cuss him out.
“Uh, hey, JD, Maddie,” Rudy says. “What’s up?”
“Why’re you being so weird?” Maddie questions, confused as to why Rudy seemed hesitant about letting them in.
“Me?” Rudy asks, shaking his head. “Nah, I’m not being weird.”
“Whatever,” Madison huffs. You hear her and JD walk in and mutter profanities under your breath. Thank god you had picked up your phone from the sofa or you would be toast. “We wanted to watch a movie and you have the comfiest couch.”
“What’re we watchin?” Rudy asks, bouncing on his heels. Madison shares a look with JD, confused as to what the hell was up with him.
“I dunno,” JD shrugs. “I gotta take a tinker in your bathroom, though. I’ll be right back.” He says, and your eyes widen.
“No!” Rudy calls out, and you search frantically for an escape route. There’s a window, but it’s kinda small, you’re not sure if you’d fit. Fuck it, you think as you hear JD and Mads confront Rudy about being weird.
“I just mean ... it’s kinda rank in there,” Rudy says, scratching the back of his neck.
“Disgusting,” Madison mutters.
“I’ll just block out the smell,” JD shrugs. “I’m desperate, bro.”
Rudy silently prays to himself as you fumble about the bathroom, climbing on top of the seat. You put one leg through the window as the footsteps land right outside the door, and  try to slyly maneuver yourself out with your phone in one hand. Your plan fails miserable and you tumble to the ground, landing in a bush.
“Fuck,” you mutter, sitting up and pulling leaves out your hair.
The door to the bathroom swings open and you run as fast as you can back to your own trailer. You ignore the confused looks of the crew members, and Drew calling your name as he sees you run past with twigs in your hair.
As soon as you get back to your trailer, you shoot Rudy a quick text.
I jumped out the window ;)
Jesus, Y/N. You good?
Yeah, just thank god for my super rad spy skills.
Sure, baby. Sure.
You giggle as Rudy pushes you down on your bed, peppering your skin with kisses, making you laugh more.
Filming had ended and you were currently quarantined with the cast, stuck in yours and Madelyn’s apartment. After the release of the show, you had gained quite a big fan base and your time had been occupied with online interviews and live streams. You’ve barely had the chance to sneak around with Rudy, not wanting to raise any suspicions since fans had already started shipping the two of you, pointing out the way he looks and interacts with you, and vice versa.
You didn’t want to let your friends catch on. Not yet.
Swiftly, you flip you and Rudy over, straddling him as you pull him in for a passionate kiss. You must not have heard the footsteps creeping up to your room, or the door swing open as you kissed your boyfriend.
A quick shriek alerted you of someone’s presence. You scrambled away from Rudy, cheeks red and eyes wide. It was Madelyn, stood frozen in the doorway, eyes wide. Clumsily, she dropped her phone, the object clattering to the floor
“Fuck,” Rudy mutters, pulling on his shirt as you put your hands over your face in attempt to hide you embarrassment.
Madelyn stands dead still, frozen to the spot. “Oh my god, guys, I am so so so sorry! I didn’t know you two were-”
By now, you had alerted the attention of Chase and Drew, who came running over at the sound of a scream. It didn’t take them long to connect the dots, between your rosy cheeks and swollen lips and Rudy’s messy hair and flustered appearance.
“Oh, shit,” Drew swore, eyes wide.
“Uh, guys ...” Madelyn spoke up, chuckling nervously. “I was on live and they saw ...” she motions between the two of you with her hands, “that.”
Honestly, you think you could’ve died, right then and there. You scramble to grab Maddie’s phone from the floor, seeing the comments screaming about what they had just accidentally witnessed and quickly end the live.
“I’m so sorry!” Maddie squeals, cheeks tinging red. “I was planning on scaring Y/N and I didn’t think Rudy would be in here, let alone that you two would be-”
You quickly cut her off, scratching the back of your neck and biting your lip. “It’s fine, Maddie. Seriously, don’t worry about it.”
“Yeah,” Rudy clears his throat. “You couldn't have known.”
“Uh, well,” Drew chuckles. “This is awkward.”
“Honestly, I’m gonna need a good few shots to erase the embarrassment of this moment from my memory,” you state, walking through the door and towards the kitchen where a bottle of vodka awaits you.
“I second that,” Rudy says, following you and lazily placing an arm around your waist.
Chase grins, watching the two off you. “So ... “ he trails off, gesturing between the two of you with his hand. “Are you two, yanno, together?” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.
You nod and Rudy smiles. “Yeah, we have been for a while now.”
“God, it’s about time!” Chase exclaims.
“You guys were pretty bad at hiding it,” Drew states, a grin of his own on his lips.
You mock fake offence, gasping as you poor the vodka into your shot glass. “We’ve been dating for four months, so, obviously not.” 
Madelyn’s mouth hangs open. “Four months?!” she yells. “And you didn’t tell us?”
Rudy shrugs, kissing your cheek fondly. “Eh, it was pretty fun sneaking around.”
“Agreed,” you say, smiling up at him. He meets your gaze, pecking you on the lips.
“Ew, you guys,” Chase groans. “Just because you’re together now doesn’t mean you can be all openly affectionate.”
Madelyn whacks his arm, rolling her eyes. “Shut up, they’re cute.”
“Nah, they’re gross,” Drew jokes, laughing. “Anyway, I made Mama Starkey’s casserole. Who wants some?”
“Me!” you exclaim, grinning excitedly. If there was one thing you loved it was Mama Starkey’s chicken casserole. Also, eating and drinking would be a good way to get your mind off the fact that practically the entire world saw you on top of a shirtless Rudy, making out with him.
A/N: AHAHAH THE WAY I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO END THIS SHDJSHJDH also pls excuse the crappy writing this was made at 4am last night😳
1K notes · View notes
zillennial97 · 3 years
Text
Friends to Lovers | Larry Fanfic Recs
Hiding Place by alivingfire | 365k | Explicit
Louis never wanted a soulmate, didn’t really care for the whole Bonding thing at all, really. Enter Harry Styles, who’s wanted to be Bonded for as long as he could remember. With one fateful meeting in an X Factor bathroom, Louis gets a dagger on his arm and the realization that just because Harry is his soulmate doesn’t mean it’s mutual.
From the X Factor house to Madison Square Garden, from the Fountain Studios stage to stadiums across the world, Louis has to learn to love without losing himself completely, because someday his best friend will Bond to someone and replace Louis as the center of his universe. Meanwhile, Harry begins to think that maybe fate doesn’t actually know what it’s doing after all, because his other half has clearly been right in front of him the whole time. All he has to do now is convince Louis to give them a chance.
Or, the canon compliant Harry and Louis love story from the very beginning, where the only difference is that the love between them is literally written on their skin, and there’s only so much they can hide.
And Then a Bit by infinitelymint | 158k | Explicit
“We’d like to give the fans what they want.” Magee states, placing his hand on the table in front of him and leaning forward. “We want to give them Larry Stylinson.”
Or, take a parallel universe where Louis and Harry were never together, mix in a two year hiatus and an impending comeback, pour in a dash of lost fans, two tablespoons of strong friendship and a Modest! employee with a good idea. Add a squeeze of pretending to be a couple, lots of kisses and a tattoo or two. Stir. Serve: the mother of all publicity stunts.
(aka Harry and Louis fake a relationship for publicity. Eventually it becomes a lot less fake and a lot more real.)
Wild Love by purpledaisy | 130k | Explicit
“Good,” Julia says, clearly pleased to have them both uncomfortable and unable to look at each other. “Now, I only have one more question before you can go. What are you planning to do when this experiment ruins your friendship?”
“We said we’d stay friends no matter what,” Harry says smoothly, his chin lifting in defense.
“That was our one thing going into it,” Louis agrees. “Stay friends no matter what.”
Julia raises a perfectly manicured brow, “That’s all fine and good. But I hope you realize your emotions aren’t going to realize this is an experiment in the end. If one of you falls for the other and finds out those feelings are not reciprocated, you’re not going to be able to laugh it off as a social experiment. I’m not saying you shouldn’t do this, I’m just hoping you’ve considered all of the possible outcomes.”
- AU: Two best friends try to date each other for forty days. It's supposed to be fun until emotions make it complicated.
California Sold by isthatyoularry | 123k | Mature
Notoriously closeted boyband member Harry Styles is famous on a global scale, meanwhile Louis, as his best friend, is back home in Manchester, living the typical life of a 24 year old. When Harry needs Louis with him in LA, a publicity stunt gone wrong changes their friendship forever.
A fake-relationship AU between two lifelong best friends.
Tired Tired Sea by MediaWhore | 113k | Mature
As a B&B owner on the most remote of all the British Isles, Louis Tomlinson is used to spending the coldest half of the year in complete isolation, with his dog and the sea as sole companions. Until, one day, a mysterious stranger on a quest to rebuild himself rents a room for the winter.
Like a Bullet in the Dark by Vurdoc | 99k | Explicit
Prince Harold Edward Styles Lancaster is second in line to the throne of Great Britain. He is also your average Uni student- or he tries to be, anyway.
With a promise from the press (and his father) that they'll leave him alone for four years, he sets out to be a student at Cambridge, when he meets his very normal, very working class, very handsome suite-mate, Louis Tomlinson.
Louis makes Harry feel more like a person than he ever has before, which might cause some issues later on- 'cause Harry has a secret that he's only told his sister Gemma about.
Little does he know though, that Louis has some secrets of his own.
A Will & Kate Au- with a twist.
Christmas-ing With You by dolce_piccante | 65k | Mature
Two writers from Loving Heart Television, the premiere network for holiday romance films, find that, sometimes, love is not only in their works of fiction.
Faking It by TheCellarDoor | 46k | Mature
A uni AU in which Louis has been Harry’s best friend since he offered him cubed fruit on the playground, and they spend more time cuddling in their dorm beds than they do apart, but it’s not like that. Or is it?
Aka Harry pretends to date his best friend to escape unwanted attention from a too insistent classmate and hopes it won’t blow up in his face. Featuring embarrassing dildo accidents, awkward boners, longing, first times, late night conversations, emotional discoveries and Niall as the exasperated friend with bad advice.
if the sun don't shine by falsegoodnight | 36k | Explicit
Louis finds himself struck frozen, fingers stuck in place where he’s flattened them against the cold railing. It takes every bit of his remaining strength to pull them away, sliding them under his shirt and pressing them to his stomach to leech some of the warmth. He hardly pays attention to the bite of the wind and air on his shivering body. He can only pay attention to the music.
The music that is undoubtedly new to Louis’ ears, yet listening to it is the most familiar thing Louis has ever experienced. An inexplicable rush of emotions flood his mind and body, rendering him speechless and hollow. It’s a call of loneliness. It rings of everything Louis’ been feeling.
And the pure yearning - the intense longing for something and someone - tears through straight to Louis’ heart. The desperation feels all too intimate, all too real. It makes Louis think of what he yearns for more than anything. It makes him think of his soulmate.
-
In a world where you meet your soulmates in dreams, Louis has spent the last three years going to bed hoping to finally meet his, only to end up disappointed time and time again. It all changes with a violin.
From the Start by allwaswell16 | 32k | Explicit
Louis has no idea that one act of kindness will cause his life to spiral out of control. But that's what happens when his new friend fake proposes to him and a video of it goes viral.
Barefoot in Blue Jeans by indiaalphawhiskey | 24k | Explicit
AU. Louis Tomlinson is trying desperately hard not to fall for his son’s au pair, but he can’t, for the life of him, remember why.
475. The hope that this fear is unfounded.
In Dreams by dolce_piccante | 23k | Mature
AU. When Harry moves to a new city, his new flat come with a number of sweet, anonymous gifts and surprises that brighten his days. Could it be a friendly ghost? Another friendly presence in his new building is his tattooed neighbor, Louis, who seems determined to put a smile back on his face.
You're Writing Verses About Me by Rearviewdreamer | 23k | Teen And Up Audiences
Everybody knows that Louis has never been one for serious boyfriends. His reputation around campus precedes him, which is why he doesn't think twice before proudly telling his mother about his new and completely fabricated relationship with his oddly quiet and completely
And I Will Hold On To You by darkmarkburning, staybeautiful | 23k | Mature
“I can’t believe my best friend is about to be Prime Minister of Canada,” Harry whispered in his ear, his arms tight around Louis’ shoulders. “Who decided it was a good idea to let some brash kid from Doncaster run a country?”
“I don’t know,” Louis laughed into his shoulder, “but if you promise not to tell them they’ve made a mistake I’ll give you a posh office.”
“You’ve got yourself a deal, Tomlinson.” Harry pulled away and smacked a kiss onto Louis’ cheek. “I’m proud of you, Lou, I can’t fucking believe it, but I’m proud of you.”
or Louis has just been elected Prime Minister of Canada and Harry is his best friend since childhood.
the way the storms blow by rbbsbb | 21k | Explicit
Louis doesn’t have a habit of thinking about Harry’s dick.
That would be weird, seeing as they’re best mates, and they share a flat, and they’ve spent holidays at each other’s family homes. Their friendship hasn’t ever risen to a point where Louis should want to see his mate’s dick, and he’s happy to keep it that way.
Except, all that Louis can think about is exactly that. The size of it. The shape. The amount of people it’s been in.
Maybe it’s the tequila talking, or the fact that Louis’ just recently walked in to an eyeful of Harry taking turns on some slags that he’s never seen before, but. Louis’ mind can’t stop obsessing over the idea.
Autumn At My Window by TheCellarDoor | 20k | Mature
A canon-compliant AU, in which Harry and Louis are both in the band and have been sharing flats and hotel rooms for nearly five years, but never made the leap past 'friends who are too close for comfort'.
Featuring a lot of pining, Louis' addiction to Harry's scent, and a whole lot of sexual tension that might just snap loose when they decide to spend some time together all on their own.
The Sex Methods by Alice_Novelland | 19k | Explicit
Harry and Louis explore alternative methods aka sex methods to help each other out.
once bitten and twice shy by pinkcords | 19k | Mature
This time as his stomach rolls, there’s no doubt about it. He’s going to vomit. And if he does, it’ll be on Louis’ shoes, a nice little parting gift to go with the embarrassment he’s caused the both of them. “I’m gonna throw up,” he says just as Louis turns to look at him, blue eyes swimming with shock and confusion, and asks, “Is that true?”
Or, in a rush of bravery only senior year can bring, Harry confesses his feelings in a letter to his neighbor and best friend, Louis, only for the entire school to hear it and laugh him out of their small town in Wisconsin. Ten years later, Harry's a successful lawyer at Columbia Records, coming home for Christmas for the first time since he departed for college. He plans to work his way through the trip, eat his mom's cooking, and avoid everyone from his past for as long as possible. The only problem is best laid plans hardly ever go as intended.
Oblivious by Speechless | 19k | Explicit
"You say it's nothing serious after you've been obsessing over it for months," Liam observes, pausing their videogame. "But now you barely talk about it-" "You guys fucking ignore me whenever I try!" Louis shouts, bumping his shoulder against Liam's and hurting himself in the process. "You're postponing sex, when it's obvious that Luke's up for it at this point." Liam ignores him. "For some reason you've left Harry in the dark about it-" "What?!" Louis snaps, banging his controller against the coffee table. "I have not!" "And no matter how blatant it is, no matter how fucking ridiculous you both get when it comes to it-" "Shut your hole." Louis urges, pinching his thigh, as soon as Harry enters the room. "Shush."
* Where Louis gets a little crush on Luke and for some reason Harry starts acting weird *
searching for a sweet surrender (but this is not the end) by feelslikehxme | 18k | Teen And Up Audiences
Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles, the two most loved coaches on The Voice UK known for their banter on the show and best friendship off. Louis’s determined to win and finally end Harry’s winning streak with Zayn Malik on his team, but Harry’s flirting and Liam Payne have different plans.
— Or an AU based off the Voice where Louis’s Adam, Harry’s Blake, Niall’s Shakira, Zayn and Liam have a cliche Romeo/Juliet love story and Louis’s too old for pathetic pining.
Can I bother you for a sex? by perfectdagger (sincerelyste) | 16k | Explicit
Reason #40 – Called/texted the wrong person, but he was into it anyway
“So, this isn’t really an invite for a sex, I see,” Louis spoke, not missing the chance. There was a teasing smile on his lips as he turned around to face Harry again after he had just closed the door.
Harry let out a laugh as he closed his eyes and shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Oh for fuck's sake, Louis,” he looked back at Louis, “this will haunt me forever now, won’t it?”
Louis shrugged. “Not my fault some people manage to mistext and sext others at the same time.”
When Harry mistexts Louis, Louis realises that he wouldn't mind Harry bothering him with anything, especially not with sex.
You'll Be Home For Christmas by 2tiedships2 | 15k | Not Rated
“Honesty, Lou, just ask Harry for help.”
Louis remained silent as he continued to scowl at the Christmas calendar Niall had hung on their refrigerator.
“And be nice to my calendar filled with holiday cheer,” Niall instructed. “You’re going to burn a fucking hole in it from the way you’re glaring at the innocent thing. It’s not the calendar’s fault that your heat is starting so close to Christmas.”
You're The One That I Want by spacecakesandmilkshakes | 15k | Explicit
Harry had always been Louis' best friend and...well...his baby, until one day he realized that his baby was all grown up.
show you the stars in the daylight by bruisedhoney | 13k | Explicit
Louis laughed, the sound loud and borderline obnoxious. Harry winced. “Are you kidding, Haz? I wouldn’t even look twice at someone that couldn’t pick me up.”
And, well. That was new information to Harry. It’s not like Louis had ever mentioned to him that he was his type in any way, shape, or form. Harry shifted closer into the space between Louis’s legs, even more intrigued than before. “Why not?” he asked curiously, all pink lips and big curls. Louis smiled.
“Tiny, innocent, little Harold. Need someone that can pick me up, don’t I? I like being tossed around a little. You know, pinned down and made to take it. Lifted up like I’m nothing,” Louis said it all with a confident smile, his sharp little teeth tugging at his bottom lip as he locked eyes with the jock across the kitchen. “Think he might come over here. Move over. I don’t want him to think we’re together.”
Or, the one where Louis has a type and at sixteen and scrawy, it's definitely not his best friend's little brother Harry...ten years later, he changes his mind.
when everybody wants you by nightwideopen | 11k | Mature
Harry nearly faints on the spot. He got the job. He’s going to be on Saturday Night Live.
Three of Harry's dreams come true, then one of them falls apart.
or
the SNL au that no one asked for
Shape of You by Only_angel_28 | 11k | Explicit
“Seriously?” Surely, Harry must be joking. Louis arches a skeptical brow and snaps the waistband of Harry’s joggers playfully. “What exactly do you have down there, Styles? I know you’ve got four nipples, d’ya have a couple extra bollocks as well or summat?”
“No!” Harry shrieks, his voice bordering on shrill. “No,” He repeats a little quieter, calmer, “I just—I’m, er, kinda…big, I guess.”
Louis rolls his eyes in fond exasperation. “That’s hardly a problem, curly.”
*Or Harry is insecure about a certain rather large part of his anatomy that is apparently intimidating to the point where it has actually scared off potential shags. When he ends up confessing this to his best friend and roommate, Louis takes it upon himself to prove that Harry’s size doesn't have to be a curse, and decides to help show him just how perfect he is.
Waiting by allwaswell16 for LadyLondonderry | 10k | Explicit
Louis Tomlinson was Harry’s omega, of this Harry had always been sure. Unfortunately for Harry, Louis seemed to think they were just best friends. The six weeks that Harry has to live with Louis were going to be rough.
You Give Me Fever (What A Lovely Way To Burn) by my_fandom_OTPs | 10k | Explicit
Louis walks in on Harry jerking off in the shower. What happens after is just… Impulsive and spontaneous.
the value of this moment lives in metaphor by clicheanna for hattalove | 10k | Teen And Up Audiences
Louis and Harry are best friends and absolutely nothing more. It’s a bit strange that, suddenly, everyone thinks they’re dating.
Or the one where they’re all teachers at a high school and students are more invested in their lives than normally expected.
trusting things beyond mistake by sarcasticfluentry | 9k | Explicit
"Is that even possible?" asks Harry.
All of them stare at him for several seconds, and then Louis says, "What, coming untouched?"
"Christ," Zayn mutters, throwing his hands up. “This fucking band, I swear.”
...or, Harry wants to see if he can come without touching his cock and ends up getting more than he bargained for.
And I Will Steady Your Hand by kiwikero | 9k | Explicit
All first year university students who had not yet presented were strongly advised to join the Fire Away meetings, a support group for so-called 'late bloomers.'
They were not, however, advised to fall in love with someone else at the meetings without knowing what they might eventually present as.
A Christmas Wish by Snowy38 | 8k | Mature
"So when are you going to tell him?"
Louis pursed his lips at his sister, his Skype video call relaying his thoughts on that subject perfectly.
"Next question," he mused.
Lottie rolled her eyes.
"It's your birthday in four days, Louis."
"What difference does that make?" He scoffed.
She shrugged.
"You can get drunk and confess how you feel and take it back afterwards if he doesn't feel the same."
That might work if Louis wasn't in love with Harry. But Lottie didn't know that and she didn't need to find out.
"Thanks Lots," he said anyway.
"Seriously Lou what's stopping you?"
Louis sighed.
"Fear mostly."
Under that Damn Mistletoe by hickeystyles | 7k | Mature
Louis' heart froze when he looked over and saw Liam whispering in Harry’s ear and nodding towards the mistletoe. Louis’ eyes widened comically before he dove out of sight so Harry couldn’t see him standing under the mistletoe like an idiot, or worse, like he was part of Liam’s plan to have Harry kiss him.
Or a Christmas Party AU where Louis is in love with his best friend Harry and everyone else is trying to force the two of them under the mistletoe together
We Could Be A Dream by Bearandleonardwrite | 7k | Explicit
“So, I’ve never seen you at one of these parties before,” Harry says as he hands Louis his drink. “Who’re you here for?”
Well, shit. Louis was definitely not expecting that. He sips on his drink to give him a few moments to think of an answer and then, “Oh, y’know. I’m dating the host’s brother. What about you?” He’s quite pleased with himself. Great answer. He takes another drink as a reward.
Harry grins at him, eyes bright, and shrugs. “Gemma’s my sister.” Louis hums around the rim of his cup waiting for him to elaborate. “She’s the host,” he tacks on, smug smile on his face. Louis chokes on his drink and tries his best to glare at Harry while he coughs. Harry rubs at his back until he can breathe properly again, which is actually really not that helpful. “Didn’t realize we were dating, Lou. I’m flattered.”
(Basically; Louis meets Harry at a party that he wasn't invited to. He ends up asking Harry to tutor him so he can keep seeing him. Featuring a bit of pining and a tea party.)
Mission Fucking Impossible by orphan_account | 7k | Mature
“Are you and Louis fucking?”
Harry nearly spits out his drink as he tries to communicate a "what the ever living fuck" to Niall with his eyes.
Niall takes another casual sip of his beer “Not like I’m the only one thinking it mate, I’m just the only one saying it out loud.”
- Harry is in love with Louis, and he is almost positive Louis is in love with him too. Naturally, Harry deals with this by trying to get Louis horny and hope for the best.
Things don't exactly work out how he plans.
One day to believe in you by mediaville | 7k | Explicit
A mysterious force compels Louis to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Even when it's really inconvenient.
Harry blinks and has the nerve to look surprised. "You think about me when you get off?"
"Yes," Louis says. He wonders how hard he'd need to punch himself in the face to knock himself out.
"Often?"
"Yes, Christ, Harry," Louis groans. "Probably eight times a week for going on six years now. On average, you know. More when we were touring, less when I've been visiting family. Anything else you'd like to know?"
Fake It Till We Make It by whileatwiltshire | 7k | General Audiences
#33- Keeping up with the Neighbors
“We can fake it.”
What?
“What?”
“You heard me.”
“No I did not. Say it again.”
“I said” Harry started slowly, “We can fake having sex to teach them a lesson.”
It was clear to say that Louis's mouth went a little dry at the suggestion.
Or ,
Their neighbours were a bit too loud during their bedroom activities and Harry comes up with the worst plan to shut them up. Louis agrees anyways.
Web Me Harder by iwillpaintasongforlou | 6k | Explicit
Louis Tomlinson, otherwise known as London's masked hero Spiderman, finds himself crashing through the window of Harry Styles one night after a particularly nasty fight with a villain. Luckily Harry is a nursing student with a soft spot for caped crusaders who's more than happy to tend to all of Louis' wounds, no matter how many times he swings by.
candy in your mouth (i know you love me) by embodied | 6k | Explicit
“You’re wrong,” Harry says, jaw clenched tight. “Because if all I wanted was a fuck, I’ve got at least three willing parties a phone call and a five minute drive away. What I want is you. I want us, I want it to be normal again -”
“What the fuck is normal?” Louis yells, much too loudly, and has to pause to consciously lower his voice before he speaks again. “Because a year ago, normal was eating too much takeaway and watching B-movies on Netflix in your room, and then normal was me choking on your cock at half past two in the morning, and I don’t know about you, but as of the past few weeks, normal is not seeing or talking to you at all, because I’ve all but admitted that I’m fucking crazy for you and you don’t know what to say to that.” Louis’ chest heaves, his breath coming out short. He hears his own throat stick when he swallows, and his voice is decidedly weaker when he asks, “So which one is it, Harry?”
AU. Things have shifted since last Christmas.
Running Through a Cloud of Steam by allwaswell16 | 5k | Mature
As Harry’s long anticipated twenty-first birthday approaches, he anxiously awaits the moment when he finally meets his soulmate. He’s not even sure he believes in soulmates, but at the very least, he hopes to prove to his best friend that nothing can come between their friendship--not even a soulmate.
You Can't Blame Me For Tryin' by lululawrence | 5k | Mature
Reason # 38 - Because He Is From One of the Countries You Haven't Had Sex With a Person From Yet.
Louis had been accepted into the study abroad program through his uni back home and therefore got to spend a year in rural Minnesota, of all places, but he wasn’t going to complain. It was still a pretty cool experience, even if it was far different from what he had been expecting. And besides, if he’d been sent to literally any other university, he’d never have met Harry.
If It's Meant To Be (It'll Be, It'll Be) by lululawrence | 4k | Not Rated
“So, anyway. I’m done here and on my way to the airport. I think I’m expected to be there in the morning, around ten. I’ll let you know when I’m getting close.”
“Sounds good.” Harry pulled back from the window and threw himself onto one of the beds. Once he got comfortable, he steeled himself and then went for it. “It’s been too long this time, Lou,” he finally whispered. He watched as Louis bit his lip and nodded slowly.
“I know,” Louis agreed, just as quiet in return. “We have to swear to never go this long without seeing each other again. Two months is just...unacceptable. I’m gonna go now, but I’ll see you soon. ‘Kay?”
“Yeah. See you. Be safe,” Harry said, far too fondly for his best friend. He couldn’t help it though. It was how he always had been and probably always would be.
They hung up and Harry threw his arm over his face.
“I am so in love with him,” he whined to himself. “Fuck.”
Satisfaction by iwillpaintasongforlou | 2k | Teen And Up Audiences
Louis and Harry have known each other since before they could remember and been in love with one another for about as long, even though both steadfastly refuse to admit it. When Louis starts dating other people, it is only to help himself move on and not at all to make Harry jealous. And the sulking sort of anger Harry feels when he watches Louis kiss other people is completely irrelevant anyways.
83 notes · View notes
betweenlands · 3 years
Text
and now: dreamsmp, as explained by a yogs/hermitcraft fan who only watches tales
note - i’m a yogs fan so all of this is, as the kids say, “c![name]” unless stated otherwise
general
these white men can have so many fucking wars
do any of them even... like each other? like. nobody fills in creeper holes, they’re constantly stealing from each other and griefing shit and half the time there’s not even plot reasons behind it
y’all don’t have access to the end? like at all? i mean i GET maybe if it was modded and people had access to, like, backpacks, but it’s vanilla
“dream thinks smps die when they get to the end” dream is wrong, a coward, and a baby boy man
no shopping district? no ECONOMY? this part is fucking BAFFLING to me hello i do nothing but strip mine while listen to podcasts, i could buy and sell these idiots in diamonds. i feel like you could just say “we’re using prismarine blocks for currency now” and everyone would go fucking off it
i’m. i’m still stuck on the fact that there’s NO ECONOMY. like NONE. what the fuck. how do y’all live like this.
IT’S NOT EVEN MODDED i cannot grasp this. how is nonmodded vanilla minecraft with NO sense of honor between everyone else fun for anyone?
if you’re gonna run an anarchy server you should at least put icbm in your mod pack so people can explode each other properly
y’all have to use withers? you don’t have antimatter? w
i’m surprised people don’t get the places they logged out deathtrapped, this might as well be demise
all songs are acoustic sadboy or indiepop. i’d say “please write a diss track” but i don’t... think i want to hear that
i know “my lmanburg” is plot important but i don’t listen to ANY dsmp music by choice so i can only imagine it to the tune of my sharona
plot/characters
three lives system except it’s retroactive and makes literally no sense
there’s three immortals -- the server admin, who’s a horrible green-screen fresno nightcrawler (and is also canonically abusive? what? why would you canonize this?), a bird dude who does hardcore sometimes also, and sonic the hedgehog
i’m rooting for sonic
two children. actually a lot more than two children but there’s two very important children.
tubbo is one of the important children. he has infinity dads and i think he’s related to sips because their last names are both “underscore”. other dads include captain sparklez and maybe schlatt and probably some others too
he can make armor out of radio waves. nobody talks about this
tommy is the other important child. he’s simultaneously an uwu baby boy and also a little shit gremlin
schlatt. he’s sips but more
he’s glatt (ghost schlatt) now. which i know because he was in tales and constantly shouting GLATT
the first season was written by (irl) wilbur soot and it was apparently just hamilton? i don’t like hamilton.
IRL - he also supposedly forgot to tell schlatt his character was dying. again do these people talk to each other at all? like are they friends?
lemon microburger started out as a british drug cartel and has since been exploded like, idk, five times. i forget vanilla players have to explode things on purpose because [antimatter wind-up noise]
karl jacobs exists. he’s a time traveler. he’s very cool
charlie slimesicle pulled a nanosounds and launched himself into orbit and hasn’t come back down since
me too, buddy
foolish! he’s like, a demigod slash Totem Of (Un)Dying. he actually knows how to build! he seems neat!
...unfortunately he looks like Bench Appearo (i’m sorry)
THERE’S AN EGG hi as an old redstoner/flux buddies fan i FULLY fucking approve of egg. i love weird minecraft corruption plotlines i think we should have more of them
egg will make the plot good. join egg
there was some sort of war involving pet murder and also a railway system? might as well be happening
other stuff
fandom has one hobby and it’s discourse about who’s justified in doing what, which is baffling to me
back in my day we pointed at the unethical clone scientist whose name was a pun on hannibal lector and who did SO MUCH MURDER and went “oh he did nothing wrong whatsoever”
everyone has done war crimes but none of the fun war crimes
so does nobody do like. psychological warfare? not abuse -- like, leaving 50 signs leading to different coordinates on a wild goose chase that ends with “made you look” or tricking someone into digging their own grave
have some PANACHE! march up to the egg and leave the entire This Is Not A Place Of Honor text on signs! mix it up!
apparently people don’t like it when the production values are good, because if it’s too well-made then it’s not dreamsmp anymore? baffling if true. let people minecraft roleplay! high production values mean better plot!
something about discs i guess
okay that’s all, if i missed anything i’m supposed to talk about just tell me when you reblog the post and i’ll explain what i know
also i still can’t believe you guys don’t have even, like, a barter economy
76 notes · View notes
onlydreamofmysoul · 3 years
Text
Let Them Eat Cake Part VI
Here we go!!! I’m so so sorry about the extra wait for this one guys, but thanks for sticking with me!!! I hope you like it!
Tonight on The Great British Bake Off…
“Are you talking to yourself?”
“Now get out of here you cheeky buggers.”
“The person not going to the final is-”
The morning of the signature and technical challenges, Remus woke up with Sirius in his arms. 
Remus smiled down at Sirius still asleep, his dark eyelashes brushing the tips of those high cheekbones. Ever so carefully, Remus reached to grab his phone and turned off his alarm - it only had two minutes left in it anyways and now Remus could wake Sirius up slowly instead of subjecting him to that heart stopping adrenaline rush that came from having a blaring noise announce the dawn on a new day.
“Sirius,” He whispered, kissing the other man’s forehead. “It’s time to wake up, love.” 
Remus watched, unable to take his eyes away as Sirius’ breathing changed from that deep relaxed state to one more aware of the world. His eyes flickered open and focused immediately on Remus’ own.
“Re?” He mumbled sleepily, moving forward to press his face against the hollow of Remus’ throat and securing his grip around Remus’ waist. “Time is it?” Remus slipped his hands under Sirius’ shirt, relishing the feel of Sirius’ ridiculously warm skin against his hands. “It’s a little past seven, we have to get up, we’re filming today.”
Remus shivered as Sirius’ sigh was warm against his skin, but soon Sirius sat up, stretching high into the air, his joints cracking. Remus laughed and threw a pillow at him as he slid out of bed and padded to the bathroom. 
“I’m just going for a shower, I’ll just be a few minutes.”
Sirius nodded, still yawning. “I should go back to my room anyways, before the world is awake and all that.”
Remus nodded and returned to his side to kiss him goodbye. “See you tonight?” He breathed. Sirius rolled his eyes laughing, “Re, you’ll see me in like, an hour.”
“Yeah,” Remus pouted, “But then everyone will see you. Only I get to see you tonight.”
Sirius smiled, lazily twining his arms around Remus’ neck, leaning against him. “That’s very true, I suppose I’ll see you then too.”
Remus grinned, then pushed his boyfriend away gently. “Go,” He said reluctantly, “Before anyone sees.”
Sirius kissed his cheek, then shoved his feet into his shoes and vanished out the door. Remus wandered to the steaming bathroom in a daze, not quite sure if this was all still just a long, elaborate dream. 
He and Lily wandered down to the tent together, as was tradition at this point.
“I’m not superstitious,” Lily was saying, “But I mean, I’ve gotten this far and if there’s anything I’ve done that’s helped me get here well I’m not going to risk it.” She turned and changed the topic so quickly, Remus was pretty sure he’d get whiplash if he wasn’t so accustomed to her ways. “So how’s Sirius.”
The topic of himself and Sirius was a secret to the world, bar two people - Lily and James. Sirius and Remus had both agreed they wanted a little time to see let their relationship grow a little before being exposed to the public, but there was no denying that both of them needed to tell their best friends. In Remus’ opinion, getting to tell your best friend was one of the very best things about even being in a relationship.
Remus knew the smile on his face was ridiculous and yet he just couldn’t help it. “Why don’t you ask him yourself?”
Lily stuck out her tongue at him. “Very funny. You know what I mean, how are the two of you getting on?”
Remus wrapped his arm around her shoulder and gave her a little squeeze before pulling away. “So fucking good.”
“Well you sure as hell look like a love-struck idiot.”
It was Remus’ turn to stick his tongue out at her, but his cheeks flushed a little. “Oh hush. You’re one to talk, you’re not too far away from being a love struck idiot yourself.”
Sirius and Remus had a bet to see when James and Lily would finally get their shit together and start dating. Remus said before Bake Off ended. Sirius said after. Remus was trying to do everything in his power to make sure it happened before the end of filming the final (The official ‘cut off’ time) because if there’s one thing to know about Remus Lupin, it’s that he liked to win.
(And also that he thought he might be falling in love, but it was far too early to entertain such thoughts).
The tent was cooler today than it had been other weeks and Remus was glad for it. It was always chilly starting off, but the tent quickly warmed up and Remus would take any reprieve from the overwhelming heat that he could get. Tonks was already at her bench and Remus and Lily went to her, chatting before they had to get in their places.
“It’s weird without Peter isn’t it?” Tonks said, glancing at his vacant station. 
“So weird.” The others agreed, all looking over. Can you believe next week is the final?”
“Shh, Lily don’t jinx it.” Remus said, covering her mouth and then ripped it away cringing. “You licked me!” He rubbed his hand on his apron before going to the sink at Lily’s station and washing his hands.
Lily just shrugged. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You totally just licked me, ew.” 
Tonks blinked, the picture of a perfect alibi. “Lily is far too civilized to ever lick people Remus, don’t be ridiculous.”
Remus pointed a finger at Lily. “I’ll get you back for this.” He swore, not at all satisfied when she just stuck her tongue out at him. 
“I look forward to it.” She chirped before Marlene called time and everyone went to their own stations. Remus snuck dirty looks at Lily when the camera’s weren’t on him (and once accidentally when they were - Remus could only imagine the ‘Lily and Remus Fight?’ all over bake off twitter). Sirius and James headed to their spot at the front of the tent and suddenly they were off.
“And we’re back! Welcome everyone to The Great British Bake Off!” Sirius started, smiling broadly for the camera. “Things are getting exciting, aren’t they James?”
“Oh yes,” James continued seamlessly, “Things are really heating up, we’ve made it to this season’s semi-final! I almost can’t believe it, it flew by didn’t it?”
Sirius nodded along. Remus had to smile a little at the extra bits of banter they had to slot in now that there were fewer bakers to cover. Sirius’ eyes flitted to Remus, just for a second and then he scanned the rest of the tent, but Remus knew Sirius was really looking for him. “For sure James, for sure. I think no one expected such a good year!”
Lily snuck him a little smirk and Remus rolled his eyes, miming licking his own hand to turn her mind to other things. Tonks was far more perceptive than people gave her credit for and Remus wouldn’t be surprised if she figured out about himself and Sirius just from a couple of well placed looks. 
“Our lovely judges have decided that today marks the start of biscuit week!” James said, motioning to the two judges standing to the side. “Any words of wisdom for our bakers?”
“They should taste good.” Dumbledore said pleasantly, as if it wasn’t the entire point of the competition and Remus had to couch to cover the sound of him snorting. 
“Well thanks for that absolutely useless piece of advice.” Sirius said with a brazen grin. “For our signature challenge, our judges would like you to prepare twenty four short-bread biscuits.”
The camera’s turned to capture the baker’s reactions while James continued. 
“They should be crisp and crumbly, but still able to maintain their shape, with a golden bake, but be careful that they don’t burn.”
The bakers nodded, more than ready to begin, just waiting for the official go-ahead. 
“On your marks,”
“Get set,”
“Bake!”
“So Remus,” Sirius said as he came up to Remus’ station a little bit in. “What’re you baking for us this week?”
‘You’d think you’d remember, considering I’ve been hand feeding them to you all week.’ Remus wanted to say. But of course instead he just smiled and continued weighing his sugar.
“Lemon and lavender.” He said, offering a sprig of lavender to sniff. “It tastes good, but it also smells so good. It’s a win-win really.”
Remus very pointedly did not look at the way Sirius crushed the flower between his thumb and forefinger before lifting his hand to his face to take a delicate sniff. Remus had to bite down a retort about his etiquette and instead began grating the lemon rind. 
“Well it certainly looks good so far,” Sirius said, so perfectly camera-ready and ready to make some wholesome family entertainment. Remus just smiled at him and returned to his work as Sirius drifted off to chat to some of the others. 
Remus made the biscuits in a bit of a haze to be perfectly honest. He had originally been surprised when he discovered the challenge was shortbreads - he thought they might be a tad simple for something as grand as the semi finals, but he learned pretty quickly that if you looked away for a second, these little bastards would go and burn on you. 
“You look all nice and innocent now,” Remus said to his dough as he folded in the lemon and lavender. “But I know it’s all for show.”
“Remus, sweetheart?” Marleen asked, coming up to his station. 
“Yes?”
“Are you talking to yourself?”
Remus flushed. “No… I’m talking to my dough,”
Marlene nodded bemused. “Because that’s much more normal.”
Remus bit his lip. “Yes?” He said again a lot more hesitantly. Marlene just laughed and began to move on.  “You sure are one hell of a man Remus Lupin.”
Remus just chuckled as he started rolling out his dough. 
“What’ve you done now?” Lily asked, half teasing, half curious as she came back from the bathroom. “I leave for five minutes and I miss everything.”
Remus flicked a bit of extra flour at her as he passed by, leaving tiny white flecks speckled like snow in her hair. “Nothing you haven’t heard a hundred times before.”
“Oh were you talking to your cakes again?”
“Yup.”
“I should’ve known.”
Remus sat with his back against Lily’s station as he stared at his oven. 
“Remus?” James said tentatively.
“Yeah?”
“Did you ever hear that expression - ‘a watched pot never boils’?”
Remus just raised an eyebrow, but didn’t look towards James. “Likewise I think you could say; a watched shortbread never burns.”
James laughed as he slid onto the floor next to him. “You know what? That’s fair, I can get on board with this.”
Remus knew several cameras were trained on them but he didn’t look. “Oi, James, I think you’re using talking to me as a chance to sit on your arse.”
James slung an arm over Remus’ shoulder. “Oh Remus, my love, my life, how you wound me.”
“You can stay if you make us tea.” Remus offered and nearly choked on his laughter when James half-flew from his perch to boil the kettle. 
“You drive a hard bargain, but you have yourself a deal Remus.”
Remus smiled and a few minutes later he happily accepted a steaming mug from James as they both just stared into his oven.
“Psst, Remus,” James whispered. Remus gleaned over at him wryly. 
“Yes?”
“Is it supposed to be this boring?”
“Doing practically nothing and getting paid for it? Why yes, yes I believe it is.”
James laughed but didn’t say any more for a moment. Remus was suddenly very aware that he was sitting next to one of the very few people who knew about himself and Sirius. He liked James, he liked him a lot and while they got on great, they had never really spent any time just the two of them. And while this wasn’t exactly the two of them hanging out - they were literally working, surrounded by people and being filmed nonetheless, it still felt a little important. Remus wished he could say something, but there was no real way to say ‘Hey, I’m falling for your best mate, let’s get to know each other better’ and be totally discreet. But James reached over and ruffled his hair once and when Remus shoved him off, laughing, he knew. 
James was thinking that too. 
Remus kept staring at the oven, but on the inside, he was smiling. He and James would be good friends. 
James moved on after a little while, but Remus stayed where he was. At one point, he took the tray out of the oven and covered it loosely with tin foil.
“You cover it lightly, like this, see?” He explained for the camera, “This is a good trick for cakes especially - it’ll keep cooking but it prevents the top from burning. Our oven when I was growing up was a bit dodgy and it loved to burn the tops of my cakes while the inside wouldn’t even be cooked, that’s why I picked this trick up.”
Marlene grinned and gave him a thumbs up. “That might be the longest time I ‘ve filmed you without you cursing.”
“Fuck yes! Wait shit, I mean fuck, I mean, ugh just go.”
Marlene left laughing and Remus popped his tray back in the oven, making sure the tin foil was only covering the top - not secured around it, otherwise the cookies would just sweat inside and go soggy. 
Remus had just taken them out of the oven to start plating them when Sirius called the ten minute mark. 
“Christ this will be interesting.” Remus muttered, again to himself as he started transferring the, still hot, biscuits onto the plate.
“Don’t break, don’t break, don’t break.” He chanted, managing to get ten transferred successfully until the eleventh split in two.
“Oh you fucker.” Remus cursed, rearranging everything so he could hide it under the others. The rest however went well and in the end he had twenty four pretty good looking biscuits, all stacked neatly.
The judges came in, smiling at them. Remus had thought they might become more open when there were fewer of them, but it had seemed the opposite. He figured they must to want to get attached to anyone, let it influence or bias their decision. That was the best call, but Remus was still a little disappointed, he’d looked up to them all his life and he had barely interacted with them ever since he’d arrived. 
“Mr Lupin,” McGonagall greeted as they arrived at his station, “What’ve you got for us today?”
“Lemon and lavender.” Remus said and it only took about seven weeks, but his voice didn’t tremble at all.
Dumbledore took one first, breaking it in half. “It doesn’t have the ‘snap’ we were looking for, but that’s probably just because they’re still a little warm.”
They both took a bite and there was the awkward sound of nothing but their chewing for a moment. “These are excellent.” McGonagall said and Remus thought this was it, he could die happy now. An ‘excellent’ from McGonagall, he was set.
“The flavours are lovely, and you balanced it quite well, I was worried the lavender would be too overpowering.”
Remus laughed, remembering the first time he had tried it, using so much lavender they had tasted more like soap than cookies. “A little goes a long way.” He admitted. 
They both nodded, smiling as they chewed and then they were gone. Remus sighed as he sat down, those challenges were getting simultaneously more and less nerve wrecking. He was growing accustomed to them, which helped, but the stakes were infinitely higher than they had ever been before. 
Remus welcomed the lunch break gratefully, all of them taking the hour to relax. They had all done really well on the challenge. Which was good, Remus supposed, but it meant there really was some tough competition if he wanted to stay. 
They grabbed a spare tablecloth and threw it on the grass, collapsing down on it. Lily lay with her head in Remus’ lap and Remus had to hide his laugh when both James and Sirius looked slightly put out by it. Tonks spent the entire time trying to re-do her hair which had all fallen from the tight braids she had that morning, until Kingsley offered to take over, his fingers quick and nimble, even with Tonks’ short hair. 
“Damn Kingsley, a man of many talents.” Sirius said with a low whistle.
“I think,” James began grandly, “I think that we should all just go to sleep.”
“That would make a riveting episode.” Remus agreed, I can see it now, half an hour of footage of us just sleeping.”
Lily snorted. “I mean, we could finally clear up the ‘does Remus snore’ issue. I vote yes.”
“Nah, he doesn’t.” Sirius said, Remus’ eyes snapping to him, heart pounding in his chest as he watched Sirius realise what he said. “That’s what I’d vote for anyway.” He said quickly, rushing to recover. "Look at him, does he look like someone who snores to you?”
Remus laughed, trying to move past the moment. “It’s Lily who snores.”
“I do not!” Lily protested, sitting up. “You know who snores? Tonks.”
Tonks flicked her newly plaited hair. “I shall neither confirm nor deny.”
“Translation,” Sirius added, “She definitely snores.”
“I think everyone snores, they're just all in denial.” Kingsley said, and everyone laughed, continuing eating. 
“Except for me.” James said, breaking their silence and everyone just groaned. Remus lay back, staring up at the sky through the trees. All was good. 
“Welcome back for our technical challenge!” Sirius welcomed as soon as the cameras had begun recording. “For today’s challenge, our judges would like you to make jammie dodgers.”
A burst of surprise lit in Remus’ chest, he had never actually made jammie dodgers, but they were a favourite of his grandmothers, so he used to always have them whenever he would go visit her. 
“The biscuit should be buttery and hard, with a jam filling of your choosing.” James elaborated, clasping his hands together. “Judges? Anything to say?”
“We’d also like to see a shape in the centre of the cookie.” Dumbledore added. “Which is of course, of your own choosing.”
“Okay well thanks for that.” Sirius said, beginning to shoo them out. “Now off you go, you cheeky buggers.”
The entire tent burst out laughing and Remus knew he’d have to mock Sirius for that one later. 
“Alright well, if no one see’s Sirius after today it’s because McGonagall has given him detention.” James quipped. 
“Ready?”
“Set.”
“Bake!”
Remus lifted the white and blue checked cloth to peep at his little pile of ingredients and equipment. 
“I don’t think I’ve had jammie dodgers since I was ten and visiting my gran.” Lily called and Remus chuckled, turning around. 
“That’s literally exactly what I was thinking.”
“Hot take,” Tonks said, throwing a tea towel in their direction to get their attention, the cameras circling them all like vultures. “Only grannies like jammie dodgers, McGonagall set this challenge and hence, she has big grandmother energy.”
“Um, no,” Remus sassed. “If anyone’s the granny of the pair, it’s obviously Dumbledore.”
“Remus is the granny of our group so I think he knows best.” Lily agreed, gesturing wildly at Remus’ cream knit cardigan. Remus just laughed as he rolled up his sleeves and washed his hands. 
“If I’m a granny then I’m those cool ones who teach the kids curse words and give them ice cream even when the parents say no.”
Kingsley looked up from where he was intensely studying his recipe and nodded. “Remus is a cool nan; confirmed.”
Everyone applauded and Remus took a little bow. “Thank you, thank you very much. It's such an honour and as much as I’d love to address it and give you guys an hour long speech, I’m not gonna ‘cause we have a fuck ton of work to do.”
“Remus!” Marlene shrieked and he blew her a kiss. All in all, things were going well.
“These biscuits are going to be the death of me.” Remus half sang to himself as he coated his cookie cutter with far more flour than one would ever deem necessary but the dough kept sticking and Remus’ perfect circles were looking a little less than perfect. Or circular. They were more like strange blobs. His actual grandmother would have found them charming. McGonagall on the other hand, well Remus figured she’d think otherwise. 
“Come on you little fucker.” He murmured and finally he managed to cut one out properly. “Oh thank fuck. Okay right let's keep this going.”
His dough seemed to agree that holding it’s shape did indeed seem to be the best course of action and pretty quickly, they were ready to be filled with jam.
“Hey Re, how’s it going over here?” Sirius asked as he came over, leaning his elbows on Remus’ counter. 
“Alright, I’m just about to put the jam in.”
Sirius perked up, peering into the pot waiting on the hob. “Ooh, what kind of jam did you make?”
Remus grabbed a teaspoon and gave it to Sirius. “Try it and see.”
Sirius eyed him, “Just so you know, I’m sure your jam is excellent but I will have no idea what flavour it is.”
Remus laughed, grabbing a spoon himself to start coating the biscuits. “Just give it a go, I think even you will get this one.”
Sirius looked dubious, but did as he was told. Remus didn’t watch the way his boyfriend’s lips closed around the spoon, nope, no sir. He was a perfect professional. 
(But for the record, Sirius had lovely lips). 
Sirius hummed for a minute, taking his time. Taking so long in fact, Remus had assembled four whole biscuits by the time he finally, tentatively mumbled; “Raspberry?”
Remus grinned. “Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner!”
Sirius’s face lit up with such excitement, Remus would swear he was like a little puppy. “Really? Is it actually raspberry?”
“Yup.” Remus affirmed, popping the ‘p’ as he placed the top on another cookie. “You’re doing amazing sweetie.”
Sirius grinned and moved on just as Remus finished putting all the pieces together. E had to say, he was pretty happy with how neat the all looked, finally shaped like actual circles with a perfect little hole in the middle. He sprinkled some castor sugar over the tops and popped them in the oven, setting the timer and then he could finally relax for a moment. 
“Does anyone want a cup of tea?” He asked the crew and spent the next few minutes boiling and reboiling the kettle as he took orders and made more cups of tea than Mrs Doyle in ‘Father Ted’. The remainder of all their biscuits from the last challenge were still hanging around, so Remus and the others passed them out too, everyone enjoying a nice tea break in the middle of filming. None of this section would make it into the actual final cut anyways, it never did. No one wanted to spend their night watching a bunch of strangers stare into their ovens. 
The puff of hot air when Remus opened the oven was intense, but it softened and soon the tent smelled warm and welcoming. Remus transferred his biscuits carefully (none of them breaking this time) and put them on the plate just before Sirius called time.
“Alright bakers, please bring your biscuits to the table at the top of the tent.
The table looked strikingly empty with only four pictures on it. In Remus’ mind there were still ten of them, but moments like this swiftly brought in back to reality. His place today was the last in the line, furthest away from the judges, just after Kingsley. They all took their seats and then; the judges were brought in. 
“Hello again everyone.” McGonagall greeted. “I hope you all haven’t been cheeky buggers.” She said with a glance towards Sirius. Sirius shot her a wink and Remus hand to cover his mouth to stop himself from laughing. 
“Right then,” Dumbledore cut in, “Let’s get started shall we?”
Lily was first and her blueberry jam went down nicely. Tonks’ elderberry jam wasn’t quite as well received - she had been a little light on the sugar and it was a tad tart apparently. Not that Remus would know but, he took their word for it. Kingsley’s was ‘unexpected’, a salted vanilla jam that Remus absolutely had to try and finally, it was Remus’ turn to be judged.
“These are a lovely golden colour to start,” McGonagall said as he picked one up, biting into it. And then she smiled. 
Remus nearly stopped breathing, he got a smile from McGonagall.
“These remind me of my youth.” Dumbledore commented, unaware of the absolute chaos that was Remus’ brain in that moment. 
“Me too, I love the raspberry - sometimes it’s nice to stick to the classics.” McGonagall said and then they were finished and talking quietly amongst themselves to rank them. Remus was holding hands with both Tonks and Lily, Lily on his right and Tonks on his left. 
“Okay right, let’s start.” McGonagall said and once again, they were off. 
“I can’t believe you called McGonagall a cheeky bugger.” Remus said as he lay with his head on Sirius’ chest that night, tucked under the quilt all snuggly and warm. 
“I regret nothing.” Sirius hummed, squeezing Remus’ waist. “You know what I can believe? That you won the technical.”
Remus let out an amused huff. “You’re an eejit oh my god.”
“A loveable eejit though.” Sirius countered. Remus rolled his eyes but agreed. “Yeah, a loveable eejit.”
“Half way through this week’s episode.” Remus commented, stating the obvious. Sirius’ chest rumbled gently beneath him when he would speak. 
“Woah, we’re halfway there-”
Remus twisted, resting his chin on his hands so he could peer up at Sirius. “Are you really singing Bon Jovi right now?”
Sirius shrugged, smirking. “Living on a prayer, baby.”
Remus traced Sirius’ bottom lip with his thumb. “I always hated ‘baby’ as a pet name, but you say it and I just…” His words left him so he just pressed forward, kissing Sirius. The arm around his waist coiled tighter and his hair was lovingly pushed back as he pulled away.
“So it’s good?” Sirius asked softly. 
“Yeah sweetheart. Yeah, it’s good.”
“It’s time for our showstopper challenge!” James announced, looking far too peppy for seven o’ clock in the morning. Remus made a little mental note of that - Lily was a morning person too. 
He was still tying his apron when Sirius continued; “For this challenge, our lovely judges have asked you to make any 3D structure or statue of your choosing.”
James picked up right where Sirius left off, the pair in perfect sync. “Your structure can be made of any kind of biscuit, and as many different types as you like, but it must be 3D and unsupported by anything inedible.”
“Basically,” Sirius translated for the audience, “We need to be able to eat it all.”
“On your marks,”
“Get set,”
“Bake!”
Remus cracked his knuckles and set to work, moving quickly. He had managed to perfect his idea in practice, he had even managed to do it all within the time limit, but he was cutting it close. He could do it all, he just had to move fast.
“How’s the house going Lily?”
Lily grinned, looking up from where she was measuring flour. “Well I’m not gonna lie Remus, currently, it’s not looking great.”
Remus laughed and went back to weighing his own ingredients. Lily was making a little replica of her house back at home. Or what she said was a replica. Honestly she could build Buckingham Palace and claimed she lived there and no one would be any wiser. 
Remus was working with a lot of gingerbread today. For no particular reason, aside from the fact that it was easy to work with and good for holding its shape. Gingerbread houses were made of gingerbread for a reason. He also knew however, that everyone else had gingerbread in their structures somewhere, so they were all working to try to find ways to make theirs just that little bit different. 
Remus had just put his first batch in the oven and was melting chocolate on his Bain Marie when Sirius arrived at his side. 
“So Remus, what’ve you got for us today?”
“I’m making my bike.” Remus said, sliding the reference picture he had brought across the table. He saw the camera’s zoom in on it as Sirius looked it over. 
“You ride a bike.” Sirius was saying. “Of course you ride a bike.”
Remus blushed. “It’s a good method of transportation I’ll have you know.”
“Can you drive?”
Remus glanced up from his chocolate at that. “Technically? Yes. Legally? No.”
Sirius laughed and all Remus wanted to do in that moment was lean forward and catch it, taste that laugh on his lips. Instead, he gave the chocolate a bit of a stir. 
“Well I’ll leave you to it.” Sirius said and with that, he was gone. Remus left his chocolate melt as he went to make the biscuit for the wheels. They were going to be matcha an white chocolate and Remus just hoped they tasted okay because none of them were gluten free so he had never tasted them himself. The ‘metal’ part of the bike was gingerbread that would be coated in chocolate. 
He took the gingerbread out of the oven right as he put the matcha in, taking a deep breath of the warm spicy scent. He quickly set them out on the cooling racks, as spaced out as possible because he needed to get them cooled quickly. While he was waiting in everything, he began setting up the plate he could be presenting it on, brushing it all with edible paint to look like grass with a country lane cutting through the middle. He grabbed one of the biscuits he had made just for this purpose and crumbled it up, sprinkling it over the plate to look like dirt. 
After cutting the gingerbread ever so carefully into the shapes he needed, Remus coated them all with chocolate before pulling the matcha cookies out of the oven. He let them cool while he melted white chocolate and dark chocolate separately.
“Wow Lupin, you’ve got a lot going on here.” James said with a low whistle, standing back to watch Remus go back and forth between his several little tasks, stirring and cooling and assembling. 
“Hi James. Can’t really talk - lot’s to do.”
“No worries, we’ll leave you to it. Just a heads up - there’s twenty minutes left.”
“Fuck, okay, thanks.” Remus said, not even glancing up as he went from the white chocolate to the dark. 
He dipped the matcha in the white chocolate, setting those aside to cool as he ‘glued’ the bike together with chocolate, holding them in place as they dried. 
“Fuck, fuck, I need more hands.” Remus glanced up frantically and spotted Sirius just leaving Tonks’ station. “Hey Sirius? Could I borrow you please?”
Sirius nodded and half jogged over. Remus sent him to wash his hands first, and then Sirius took his place holding the bike together while it dried so Remus could work on everything else.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you.” He said, coming so close to kissing Sirius’ cheek before freezing and just moving past him. 
“That’s alright.” Sirius grinned. “I’m here for more than just my good looks you know.”
“Oh really? What reasons would those be? Certainly not your sharp wit anyways.” Remus quipped, tapping Sirius’ hip lightly with his own. 
“Oi! I could just leave you know!” Sirius said in mock outrage and Remus laughed as he filled his piping bag with dark chocolate. 
“No, no, I’m sorry, please stay.” He met Sirius’ eyes and there it was just a second, but it might as well have been forever. 
It would be easy to fall in love with him, Remus thought. 
He blinked and secured the nozzle on the piping bag, pulling the matcha cookies close and piping the spikes and wheels of the bike on, trying to keep his hands steady and lines clean as possible. 
“Okay Re, these are dry.” Sirius said, pulling his hands away to reveal all the pieces holding together on their own. 
“Oh my god, amazing, thank you so much, I hereby set you free.”
Sirius brushed back a stray strand of hair, flashing that iconic Sirius Black smile. “No problem. Okay, this is your five minute warning.”
“Oh Christ, okay thanks go away so I can work please.”
Sirius’ laughter filled the tent but Remus wasn’t even smiling as he focused on setting the finishing touches. He added the wheels and carefully transferred the whole thing onto the plate-
“Bakers! Your time is up!”
Remus let out a sigh of relief as he stepped back, his bike looking pretty good, all assembled and plated. He was just pulling out his stool and sitting down when the judges walked in. 
They loved Remus’.  They loved all of them to be perfectly honest. This was the final, and everyone had brought their A-game. Tonks had made the leaning tower of Pisa. Kingsley had made a lovely little bookshelf, complete with little novels. Remus was more than a little jealous of that one, he had to admit. The judges were gone as quickly as they had come and the four contestants moved to sit at the top of the tent as they waited for their return.
“This is it.” Lily murmured. “Here we go.”
For the first time that day, Remus’ stomach was rolling. He wanted this so bad. It wasn’t even about winning - he just wanted to make it to the final. To prove it to little Remus, to his younger self who had dreamed about this. To his future self who could look back at this. 
The judges emerged with Sirius and James, their faces blank and impossible to read.
James spoke first; “Today I have the honour of announcing our star baker.” He looked around at the four of them, pausing for dramatic effect. “Tonight, our star baker is… Kingsley.”
Remus grinned and patted Kinsley’s shoulder in congratulations. He nodded at them and at the judges, a little smile on his face, but his eyes were sparkling. 
“That means I have the horrific job of announcing who’s going home.” Sirius said, his face looking actually drawn. Remus’ chest clenched, was it him? Was his boyfriend about to tell him he hadn’t made it?
“The person who won’t be joining us in this year's final is… Tonks.”
Remus’ heart soared and fell at the same time. He was staying, his friend was not.
He turned and pulled Tonks into a tight hug, her arms slipping around his waist.
“It’s alright,” She was saying, ever the positive presence, “I’m just happy to have made it here in the first place.” She pulled back and kissed Remus on the cheek before hugging Lily, the judges and presenters coming over to join them. Remus could hear McGonagall and Dumbledore talking to her, telling her how close it had been and that she was a truly fantastic baker and Remus smiled to himself. He met Sirius’ eyes and suddenly he wanted all of this to be done with so he could give a hug to the one person he actually wanted. 
He sent Sirius a quick text a little later that he and Lily were going to be with Tonks, helping her pack. He laughed when Sirius responded with “Help her pack, or watch her pack?” Before he set his phone aside and went with Lily to Tonks’ room. 
“Knock knock.” Lily said aloud, pushing the door that had been left slightly ajar, open. “It’s me and Re.”
“Hey guys!” Tonks said, her bright head popping out from the bathroom. “Come on in!”
Tonks was packing her toiletries so Lily and Remus threw themselves on her bed. 
“We brought hot chocolate.” Remus boasted, luring Tonks out to them.
“Of course you did.” She said, sighing fondly. “I would expect no less from the two of you.”
Remus and Lily pulled her onto the bed, sitting her between them. They all sat with their backs against the headboard, legs out in front of them as they sipped their drinks.
“I can’t believe you’re not coming with us to the final.” Lily sighed, resting her head on Tonks’ shoulder.
“I know,” Tonks said, sliding her arm around Lily’s shoulder. “But I’ll be watching from home don’t you worry!”
“Any advice?” Remus joked. 
Tonks raised an eyebrow, knocking her foot against Remus’. “I don’t think I’m the best person to get baking advice from, considering I’ve just been sent home, however I do have one or two things to say.”
“Oh?” Lily prompted.
None of them were even looking at each other, just staring straight ahead, but it was nice, peaceful. The window was cracked open ever so slightly, but the room was still warm and snuggly, made all the better by the abundance of hot chocolate. 
“You, Lily Evans, need to get your act together and ask James out.”
“What?” Lily cried at the exact moment Remus enthusiastically nodded his head in agreement.
“Sorry Lily,” He said, leaning forward so he could see her. “But you totally do. The pair of you are mad for each other.”
“Oh you’re one to talk.” She scoffed, then covered her mouth, her eyes wide. Remus waved her off.
“It’s alright, I was going to tell her anyway.” He said to Lily, before turning to look at Tonks. “Sirius and I are dating.”
Tonks nodded. “Oh I know. I was just waiting for you to bring it up.”
Remus blinked a few times. “Wait, what?”
Tonks nodded like it was obvious. “Yeah, since like, the first week, right? It was so obvious, sure you were worse than Lily and James.”
Lily blushed, but Remus flushed harder. “We only started going out last week.” He spluttered, skin burning. That was the first thing that had surprised Tonks all night.
“Wait really? Fuck, why are boys so dumb?”
“Hey!” Remus protested, looking to Lily for help, but his friend just shrugged.
“It’s true.” She said, “They are.”
Tonks turned to look at her in accusation, pointing a long finger at Lily. “Exactly. Boys are dumb. You know this. That’s why you have to be the one to put James Potter out of his misery before you make the rest of us go insane just from watching you.”
Remus just laughed at Lily’s face and pulled Tonks in for a hug. “I’m gonna miss you.” He murmured as he kissed her iconic hair.
“Me too, but you guys can come visit, yeah?”
Remus smiled. “Oh, just try and stop me.”
Remus crept to Sirius’ room carefully, checking the hallway was clear before knocking on the door. Sirius opened it straight away, stepping aside to let Remus in before pulling him in for a kiss as soon as the door was closed. 
“Hi,” Remus said, all breathy and amused. “I missed you.”
“You were with me all day.” Sirius quipped. 
“Ah yes.” Remus agreed, wrapping his arms firmly around the shorter man, “But as you pointed out so astutely, there were other people there today.”
Sirius hummed happily into another kiss. “I do make an excellent point.”
Remus laughed and guided them both to the bed, the pair exhausted after a long day on their feet. 
“Wanna watch a movie?” Remus asked softly as Sirius curled into his side. Sirius nodded and Remus grabbed the TV remote, turning it on with the press of a button. 
“You made it to the final baby.” Sirius whispered, his voice smooth with sleep. Remus smiled, running his thumb soothingly over the skin of Sirius’ waist, just under the elastic of his sweatpants.
“I did. Now sleep love, I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Night Re.”
Remus smiled and brushed back Sirius’ inky hair as a movie began to play.
 “Night darling.”
87 notes · View notes
spookybreadstick · 3 years
Note
Hey!!!! I was wondering if you could write a scenario for Toby confessing to his s/o 😳👉👈 - dancing parrot 🐦🎶🐦🎶
Okay so I wasn’t quite sure where I wanted to go with this, I had so many ideas it was hard to choose so I kind of meshed two of my favorite ideas into one lol. I hope it’s okay, it’s my longest (I’m pretty sure anyway) little scenario yet and I’m nervous/excited to post it. I personally think it’s kinda cute but uh let me know guys 😅 I also had it be Toby confessing that he has a crush on the reader, and for the purposes of this scenario the reader is female (I tried, but it’s harder than I thought to write gender neutral scenarios) 
NOTE: I am trying out different ways to incorporate Toby’s tics into the writing, because I think it is an important part of his character and I want to honor that while having it be respectful and also easier to read. I put his tics in * * so that it is easier to see when he’s having a verbal tic because otherwise it can look a lil funky. Let me know if this was an okay way to go about it, I’m still learning! 
🪓 Toby Confesses To His (Female) S/O  🪓
"Dude, stop star-staring. You're making it weird." Toby whispered to BEN, who was currently staring intently at you from a distance.
"How do you think I'm gonna help you if I don't know what I'm doing?" BEN barely glanced at Toby, who was fidgeting nervously beside him.
After a couple of seconds, BEN turned to Toby. "I don't know, dude. I need to see you guys in action."
"What does that mean?" Toby asked.
"Just go over and talk. Act natural. I need to see the vibe between you two." BEN said, nudging Toby towards you despite his whispers of protest.
Seeing Toby walk slowly towards you, you turned and greeted him. "Hey, Toby. What are you doing?"
"Uh, nothing. Just, uh, j-just walking..? He trailed off uncertainly.
You didn't seem to mind his awkward behavior, and continued to chat with him for another minute or two. Well, it was more like you were chatting at him rather than with him. Toby was just standing there uncomfortably, as he tried to will all of his tics away for a few minutes. It's hard when he's nervous and trying to make himself look good in front of you. Suddenly, you were being pulled away by one of the other pastas who wanted your opinion on something. Toby watched you leave the room, waving goodbye as you went.
"Dude. That was literally the worst thing I've ever seen." BEN appeared beside Toby, laughing.
"Knock *knock who's there?* knock it off." Toby gave him a slight shove.
"I can't help you if you're gonna be a dweeb about it." BEN shrugged.
"I'm not being a dweeb!" Toby cried indignantly.
"Okay, sure." BEN rolled his eyes.
"So?" Toby asked eagerly.
"So, what?"
"So, does she like me too?"
"I mean, she must like you at least a little. You were standing there like a goober, and she didn't care."
"BEN!"
"I'm sorry, but that was some classic comedy material right there. I could have made, like, a dozen jokes about the whole thing. All I'm saying is, she didn't take a golden opportunity to make fun of you, so maybe you do stand a chance after all."
"Okay, well, are you gonna help me *hide the body* help me win her over or what?" Toby crossed his arms.
"Nah. It's too much fun to watch you make a fool out of yourself." BEN grinned.
"Dude, seriously?"
"Look, I may be a man of talent, but I can't pass my flirt skills on to you. They'd just go to waste, man."
"Thanks a lot." Toby huffed.
"The best advice I can give you is to just relax, man. Just chill out, and don't act like you have rigor mortis. The whole time she was talking to you, you were rooted to the spot and your limbs were all tight. Don't do that. Just be loose and let it happen, you know?"
"Do you think I should tell her how I feel?" Toby asked timidly, shifting his weight from side to side. He really did like you. And he didn't always get so nervous around you, he reasoned to himself. He was better in groups, at least, when some of the attention was off of him.
"I don't know." BEN shrugged.
"You're talking about Y/N, right?" Hoodie asked, stepping into the room.
"Jesus, man, you scared the shit out of me!" BEN yelped.
"Sorry. Toby, do you have a crush on Y/N?"
"No! Why would you think *clink clink clink* that?"  
"You're pretty obvious about your feelings, Toby."
"D-do you think she knows?" Toby asked, dread crawling through his body. "I mean, it doesn't m-matter, it's not like I like her or anything, I just want to know." He added quickly, trying to cover his tracks.
"No, I don't think so." Hoodie replied, after a moment of thought.
"Why do you care?" BEN asked Hoodie, peering at him suspiciously.
Hoodie shrugged. "I don't care too much. Just figured Toby would want to know if she was dating somebody else. I mean, if he did like her." Hoodie cocked his head to the side, looking at Toby through his mask.
"W-what do you mean? She's dating somebody?" Toby's hand began to involuntarily rub at his neck.
"Not yet anyway. But I did hear that Jeff might ask her out." Hoodie said casually.
"Jeff? Tha-" BEN's words were quickly cut off by Hoodie smacking him in the side. Toby's mind was too preoccupied with visions of you and Jeff together, that he didn't notice.
"S-shit. Do... do you think she'd say y-yes?" Toby asked apprehensively.
"I don't know. But if you did have feelings for Y/N, which you say you don't, but if you did then you should probably tell her how you feel before Jeff does. Just in case." Hoodie said pointedly.
Toby nodded his head several times before yelling about how he had to do something (something totally unrelated) and then dashing out of the room.
~~
Toby ran down the lengths of the corridors, desperate to find you before Jeff could. His heart pinched to think of what would happen if you did decide to go out with Jeff. He couldn't bear it.
Toby was so lost in his thoughts that he narrowly missed running directly into Sally, who was wandering the halls as well.
"Sorry, Sally, I gotta go." Toby puffed, out of breath.
"Toby! You gotta come play with me!" Sally looked at him with eyes full of childish begging.
"Not now, Sal." Toby bounced impatiently, waiting for her to move.
"Toby Rogers, you come play with me right now!" Sally crossed her arms. "Or I'll tell Slendy that you were being mean to me."
Toby looked down at her in shock. "You wouldn't."
Sally stuck her tongue out playfully. Toby sighed, then ran his hands through his hair in frustration.
"Fine! *Fine wine, very fine wine* I-I'll go play with you. But it has to be quick, I'm really *busy bee* busy!" Toby pleaded.
"Okey-dokey!" Sally exclaimed happily, grabbing Toby's hand and pulling him along to her playroom.
~~
When Toby entered Sally's playroom, he was expecting to find the table set for tea, with various stuffed animals positioned into chairs and dressed in different colored tutus. That wasn't a surprise. What was an unexpected surprise, however, was finding you sitting in one of Sally's pink plastic chairs. Toby skidded to a stop, like a deer in headlights, taking in the sight of you perched in the tiny chair with a princess tiara on your head.
"Hi, Toby." You waved slightly. "Like the tiara?"
"Uh, yeah. It, um, it looks-it looks great." Toby stuttered out.
"We're going to play Princess Tea Time." Sally announced loudly, putting on a tiara of her own. 
"Y/N and I are going to be princesses, of course." Sally gestured to the matching tiaras.
"Tickles and Marmalade will be the Ladies-in-Waiting." Sally pointed to a pink bear and a blue triceratops. "Larry is going to be a knight, and my very romantic fiance." She gestured to a manatee.
"And Toby is going to be the prince from another kingdom that comes to tea!" Sally beamed.
Toby plastered a big fake smile on his face before Sally's game of play-pretend began.
~~
The three of you had been playing for a good twenty minutes, and Toby had been having a good time in spite of the circumstances. He had been enjoying himself enough to have forgotten about the whole Jeff thing entirely. Sally was serving real cookies, and there was fruit punch in the pink teapot. Sally is an excellent little actress, and she had adopted an over-the-top British accent to go with her whole "diva princess madly in love with the lowly knight" vibe that she had going. Toby found himself relaxing as time went on, and he found his ability to actually converse like a normal person. He had even made a few jokes that you'd laughed at.
However, Sally decided it was high time to raise the stakes of her little game.
"Prince Toby, what just fell out of your pocket?" Sally asked, pointing to a spot of nothing on the floor. She leaned over to pick up nothing off the floor, then pretended to 'read' whatever it was. She gasped dramatically, hands over her heart.
"Prince Toby! This letter states your love for Princess Y/N!" Sally exclaimed. "And just when were you going to confess to my dear sister?"
"I-I-um, I-" Toby stuttered, unable to think of how to play along. This was becoming too close for comfort.
"It's true?!" Sally gasped dramatically once more, ignoring Toby's failed acting attempt. "Good heavens! Sister, what do you think?"
"I... I don't know, dear sister. What ever should I do?" You asked Sally, half-playing along.
"Well, we have to determine if Prince Toby's love for you is true." Sally turned to Toby excitedly. He stared at her blankly in return. 
"Well? Go on, tell her how you feel." Sally urged.
Toby looked at you and suddenly words starting coming out of his mouth that seemed to stumble right from his heart. "I don't know how to act when I'm around you, because you make me so nervous. You're the most amazing person I've ever met in my life. You're like... like a goddess to me. You're so beautiful, and kind, and you're always so nice to me of all people, and I really wanted to tell you this before, especially since there's other guys that want your heart, but I was scared of what you'd say..." Toby trailed off, heart racing. "I, uh, that's how the prince, I mean me, that's how I feel about you. Princess Y/N." Toby tripped over his words, trying to act like it was all part of the game.
"Now that was romantic." Sally sighed happily.
~~
The game ended shortly after that, due to Slender calling Sally downstairs so she could watch some cartoons that she liked, which was a good thing since Toby could hardly bring himself to look you in the eyes. He worried that you had read between the lines and realized that his words were actually true. Sally had just skipped out of the room when Toby stood and faced you. You stood as well, plucking your tiara from your head and fiddling with it.
"That was a pretty intense game." You half-laughed after several beats of awkward silence.
"Y-yeah, it was." Toby looked at the ground.
"Sally's got quite the imagination."
"Yeah. *Yeah, yeah*"
"You do too."
"What?"
"I mean, coming up with that whole thing about how the prince feels about the princess? That was pretty creative."
"Oh, yeah... about that..." Toby trailed off. "S-sorry if I made you uncomfortable or anything."
"No, no, it's fine. You were just playing the part." You smiled to try to put his obvious nerves at ease.
"But-but I wasn't." Toby looked you in the eyes.
"You weren't?"
"No, I..." Toby drew in a deep breath. "I really like you."
"In what way?" You asked, half in a whisper.
"That-that way. The-the lovey kind of way?" Toby half-whispered back, unsure of your reaction.  
"Really?" Your eyes brightened with hope.
"I like you so much and I really want to be your-your....your prince." Toby looked down at his hands, before glancing back at you. "If-if you want me to. I get it if you d-don't like me..."
"No!" You cut him off. "I like you, too."
"In that same way?" Toby glanced at you hopefully.
"Yes. In that same lovey kind of way." You repeated his words with a smile on your face.
Toby's entire face lit up with joy as he pulled you in close for a hug and maybe a kiss.
~~
"Guess things worked out for old Toby after all." BEN mentioned to Hoodie after the two of you announced to the mansion later that day that you were together.
"I guess they did." Hoodie commented. 
"What about the whole Jeff thing, though? He never mentioned anything to me, and I'm his best friend, and then you practically body-slammed me earlier when I was talking about it." BEN turned to face Hoodie.
"Oh, I made that all up." Hoodie said casually taking a sip of the drink he was holding.
"What? Dude, why?" BEN shook his head in confusion.
"Because," Hoodie began as he looked across the room at the happy new couple, "he would never have told her otherwise if I didn't give him just a little push."  
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