#also. my improv class is right before this one and improv is probably the type of comedy i'm most confident in

[magentagalaxies]

officially going to be taking a standup comedy class next semester!!! now my schedule is literally:

improv class

sociology class about queer history

standup class

buddy cole documentary which counts as a class despite only meeting with the professor when i want to and being a project i would work on even if i didn't get college credit

god i love majoring in comedy in college

[welcometomyoasis]

Seventeen as university students

Pairing: platonic svt x gn!reader Genre: headcanon, humour Word count: approx. 2350 words Warnings: stress A/n: i wish they were in my uni…

🍒 Seungcheol - stressed student welfare leader 

We all know Seungcheol is a natural leader and a naturally caring individual. It makes sense that he would be on the student welfare committee. He helps you get oriented, and pays special attention to you if you are an international student. You can go to him for literally any question you have about the weird university websites and procedures. That said, he’s kind of a one man team because no one else wanted to join the student welfare committee this year. He’s stressed and overworked. Not to mention he has his own exams and papers to write. When you go to the welfare office to ask for help, he’s just staring blankly at the wall and Seungkwan’s there for the 10th time that week (it’s only Tuesday?) to complain about how his professor picked on him to answer a question. Seungcheol just needs a break. Please help him by joining the committee, he’ll love you forever. 

😇 Jeonghan - campus crush and super smart sassy student

Look at him. Is Jeonghan not one of the most beautiful people you have ever seen? You probably saw him walking around campus, stared at him until you almost tripped, and then rejoiced when you found that he was in one of your classes. Like everyone else, you want to sit near him. Believe me, it’s a struggle just to time your arrival such that you can casually arrive when he does to sit near him. Anyway, you’ve seen him in GoSe. You know this man is also intelligent and will definitely contribute to the discussion when he wants to. BUT, you just didn’t know that when he does, he’s really really sassy. I heard a story about one of my professors who used to pick apart every person’s presentation when he was an undergraduate. When he didn’t one day and was asked about it, he just said he “didn’t want to pick on the defenceless because the presentation was already a disaster”. THAT would be Jeonghan 100%. You do kind of die a little inside when he picks apart your work, but it’s worth it because then you have an excuse to ask him about it after class. 

🦌 Joshua - everyone's friend and overall a really nice guy but kind of crazy when you get to know him. 

Somehow he just knows everyone on campus? He could be in the music programme and still know everyone in all the other faculties. Once you’ve entered the uni everyone is asking if you know the Joshua Hong. You’re clueless until one day you see him in one of your university mandated classes. Then you’re like OH SO THAT’S HIM. You get why everyone is friends with him. He’s a gentleman. Or so you think. You get paired with him for a project and he’s really nice. He makes you feel welcome and comfortable. But once you start actually talking about the project, Joshua is throwing around weird ideas left and right. For a project on increasing one’s happiness, he said that your project could be on how standing under the shower with an umbrella can improve your mood? Or how you should always dunk cold water on yourself before eating hot ramen? He has such crazy ideas but that’s exactly what makes working with him so fun. Of course, it helps that you and him become fast friends, although you hope you can be something more? 

🐱 Jun - who is he again? Oh Hoshi’s friend? 

Jun seems like the type very chill and low key at first. He sits somewhere in the middle and you might have to walk over him just to get to the seat you want. He’s pretty quiet doesn’t really socialise with anyone besides his friends. You definitely know him as Hoshi’s friend. You see the two together all the time. Other than that though, you probably won’t really take notice of Jun until Hoshi drags him to sit next to you. You realise he’s really sweet and diligent. He’s always taking notes even when Hoshi tries to distract the two of you in class. You also come to realise he’s kind of goofy and that’s why Hoshi is always laughing really loudly in class. He tells jokes at the weirdest times with one of the most innocent faces you have ever seen. After that it’s almost certain that the three of you are getting death stares from the other students (Minghao) after laughing at Jun’s jokes for the upteenth time in class. 

🐯 Hoshi - someone who screams out your name to say hello

If Joshua knows everyone on campus, Hoshi is everywhere on campus. He definitely stands out. Not just because he is in a lot of your classes, but because he’s loud and has an obsession with anything that has tigers on it. Even if he isn’t wearing something tiger print, you can be sure he has a tiger accessory somewhere on him. Since he is in your classes, you quickly become pretty well acquainted with each other even if you aren’t close friends. Also, despite you two seeing each other at least 3 times a week, Hoshi is always so excited to see you. I see him as the type of guy who would scream your name from the end of the walkway just to say hello. He loves sitting near you and always gets you (and Jun) into trouble when you end up laughing way too much. Still, classes with him are really fun and you look forward to them. 

🐈‍⬛ Wonwoo - quiet but really smart. REALLY SMART. Always ready to help

Wonwoo is the resident genius and an overall hardworking student. We know he loves to use big words and he definitely says the most profound, thought provoking points in class. He’s on the dean’s list and has won multiple academic awards. Definitely the professors’ prize pupil. At the same time, he’s quiet and likes the peace of being in the library. You can almost always find him there reading something that was not on the reading list. He’s also one of the nicest people you have ever met. He’s not snobby or pretentious like some other students on the dean’s list. Wonwoo is always ready to help you with your work. He’ll explain concepts to you slowly and in such a concise manner that you’ll be able to answer exam questions with ease. He’s just such a sweetheart you will develop a certain fondness towards him. 100% voted as everyone’s ideal type. 

🍚 Woozi - the creative, ideal student to do group work with but he’s really hard on himself and a perfectionist. 

Even if Woozi is not in the music programme, he is probably taking a major that requires him to be creative. He enjoys creating and being creative. There’s something about having that flexibility to create that he finds comfortable compared to majors that require specific methodologies or concepts to be used. Everyone wants to work with him because he’s the ideal student to do group work with. Despite his busy schedule, he’s punctual with submissions and he tries his best to pick up the slack when a group member is lagging behind for valid reasons. When you are grouped with him, you realise that while Woozi gives much more constructive criticism to the rest of your group members, he holds himself to the highest standards. He’s a perfectionist at heart and you can see that he puts a lot of pressure on himself to produce quality work. Woozi isn’t someone who opens up to others easily and it might take you some time to break down his walls, but it will be worth the effort. He needs that reassurance from someone (you) to help him realise he’s already doing well and that his work is already perfect. 

🐸 Minghao - calm, collected, and organised student

While people often dress down for school, Minghao is one of those individuals who likes dressing up for school. His dress style is extremely edgy. Coupled with his nails that are mostly painted black, you would think that he is one of those nonchalant students who just shows up for the sake of it. In reality, he’s one of the most diligent people you have ever met. He is actually extremely put together. His notes are all organised and colour coded. Sure, his zero tolerance for bs attitude shows when he wears an annoyed expression every time the class, or rather, Jun, Hoshi and you get too rowdy. But he’s calm and collected. When you apologise for making too much noise, he smiles and says that he isn’t too annoyed. Just be careful, you’ll want to remain on his good side. Especially since you’ll be seeing more of him in your art history classes. 

🐶 Mingyu - student athlete but clumsy. Always tripping or dropping things in class

The university’s star athlete. Mingyu is not only a high achiever in whatever sport he plays, but also a high achiever in the classroom. He aces his class with ease. He manages to juggle both his intense practice schedule and his studies. Unfortunately, people often don’t give him enough credit for his intellect. It’s possibly because while he is quite coordinated at sports, he’s extremely clumsy off the courts. You come to realise, after sitting in front of him in class, that he is always tripping on his way to his seat, and that he always drops his belongings. There have been countless occasions when you hear a loud clunk, followed by a tiny “oops” and a sigh. Usually this means one of two things. Either Mingyu tripped, or that he needs you to help him pick up his belongings that rolled under your seat. It might be mildly annoying, but the sheepish look and bright smile that adorns his face every time you help him washes away any feelings of annoyance you might have. 

⚔️ DK - mood maker. He sometimes fumbles when answering questions but he tries his best

A pure ray of sunshine. That’s all I can say about Dokyeom. No matter how stressed he might be, outwardly, he tries his hardest to look on the positive side of any situation. Professors are extremely fond of him because of his positive attitude. There are often awkward silences in class when no one wants to answer the professor’s questions. Dokyeom is the one to break that. He might fumble a little, but he tries his best. He manages to get the class discussion going every time, for which the professors are very grateful for. He hands out sweets and snacks during class to everyone even if he doesn’t know them personally. He just brightens up the classroom and makes the whole university experience so much better for everyone. And especially on days where you feel (and look) dead on the inside, you look forward to seeing him in class because just his presence and smile alone makes you feel better. 

🍊 Seungkwan - LOUD STRESSED STUDENT

You would have heard Seungkwan’s voice even before you could put a name to his face. You probably met him in the student welfare committee’s room when you went to ask Seungcheol for advice. Walking down the hallway you heard someone complaining loudly about the workload and all the assignments that he has to do. Seungcheol just tiredly smiles at you when you enter the room and introduces you to Seungkwan, telling you that you would be seeing him more often. Seungcheol was right. Seungkwan is in most of your introductory classes. You hear him in class sighing loudly when he doesn’t understand a concept or when the professors talk about assignments. Others may see it as annoying, but you understand where he is coming from. The jump from high school to university is a big one. You seem to have more free time, but you also have more assignments and readings to do outside of class. Everyone is stressed and adjusting. It just so happens that he is more vocal about it. 

🐻‍❄️ Vernon - seems zoned out in class and sits at the back corner

To me, Vernon seems like that typical student you will see sitting at the back corner of class. He seems to look zoned out during classes and sometimes you wonder if he even takes notes in class. That said, he will surprise you. Although he might make an 0.o face when the professor calls him, he manages to get the answer right every single time. It’s pretty much a sure bet that if no one answers the professor, Vernon would get called. After a while, you come to realise that he is just one of those people who prefers to study outside of class. You will see him at the cafe or at random corners on campus (probably eating questionable food combinations). He also isn’t as intimidating as he seems and he will wave you over so you can sit with him when the cafe is too crowded. No words are really exchanged between the two of you but there is kind of an unspoken agreement that you’ll sit with each other to study in the cafe. 

🦦 Chan - confident but not always right

Chan is one of those people who seems like he would really enjoy life in university. He’s passionate about learning and he would be in a dance crew in the university. He has a little trouble trying to juggle his extra curricular activities with his studies so it’s not a surprise that like Dokyeom, he gets concepts a little mixed up during class. What he lacks in terms of accurately answering the questions, he makes up with his confidence and enthusiasm. I don’t know about other people’s professors, but my professors can tell the difference between someone who doesn’t know anything and is just trying to answer questions for the sake of it, and when someone is genuinely putting in the effort despite having difficulties when grasping the key ideas at hand. They appreciate the effort that Chan puts in and certainly would take the extra time to guide him through anything he had problems with. They would also reward his effort by giving him extra participation points. 

[chloe-skywalker]

Really? - Kai Parker

Kai x Fem!reader (Eventually)

Warnings: none

Word count: 1,996

Summary: They call in Y/n to babysit Kai

Authors Note: I used the name Hope as a nickname. Also like shes hundreds of years old. Used Twitter in this because Kai had a twitter in the show. This is REALLY old my writing has improved SO much since I wrote this. I wrote for english class in highschool as a sophomore. The date on the paper that I turned it in on was 5/26/16. This was never typed and honestly I completely forgot about it. But I found the 9 page story in my closest. Hope you all enjoy it. This is probably one of the very first times I every wrote a piece of fanfiction. I never posted it on tumblr, I’m pretty sure. I did rewrite some parts cause like I said my writing has very much improved since this lol.

Masterlist

TVD Masterlist

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

“Ok, I did not come back to Mystic Falls to babysit some sociopath that I don’t even know!” Y/n said standing in the doorway to the livingroom. Y/n had her left hand on her hip with it pushed out to the side, and her right hand flat out pointing towards Alaric and Jo sitting on the couch together. It had been awhile since she had been in the Salvatore boarding house. “This was your idea, wasn’t it?”

“Relax, Hope. It was mine and Stefans idea. We figured you're a Hybrid plus a witch. Also you're not easily persuaded. Your best option.” Damon said, pouring himself some bourbon.

“Ha,ha,ah, NO!” Y/n said with anger filled eyes. “I don’t want to babysit the newest town problem.”

Y/n turned on her heels towards the front door, once she got there when she started to open the door Stefan appeared right in front of her. He closed the door before slinging his arm around her shoulders, walking her back to where everyone else was.

“Please do this Hope, if not for me or Damon do it for Jo, Liv and Luke. Please.” Stefan pleaded.

Considering that Kai was trying to kill his siblings, the Salvatore brothers being allies with them and not Kai, makes it more understandable why they were keeping him in their cellar or as Y/n liked to call it a dungeon.

Even though Y/n didn’t plan on coming back to Mystic Falls from New Orleans to help in their latest crisis, she would. Her father, the original Hybrid, wouldn't like it. He couldn’t bare to lose her, not his hope. That was her nickname and it stuck. Everyone calls her Hope because of it.

“Fine.” Y/n gave in, although a bit annoyed.

Y/n didn’t have anything else to do and hey, maybe this sociopath wouldn’t be that bad. She had never been one to judge without knowing the person. Her father just because his mother was unfaithful to a werewolf was judged for her actions. Y/n found that unfair.

Damon opened his mouth to speak, bringing Y/n out of her thoughts. “Ok its settled then you watch the little weasel.”

Soon enough they all left to go do what they needed to do, so Y/n  headed down to the cellar and sat against the wall. Having been told to stay close to the cellar because Kai was tricky.

Y/n went on her phone and got on twitter, not long after her phone went off with a notification for the social media app. And apparently Kai had heard it.

“You should follow me on twitter, cobrakai1972.” He said from inside the dungeon cell.

Y/n thought about it for a moment and she didn’t see anything wrong with friending him on twitter. “Ok, that was corbakai1972. Right?”

Once she heard that Y/n heard him get up and suddenly his face was behind the bars on the door. Y/n lifted her head to look at him, he looked surprised. “Wait, are you serious?”

“Yeah, why not?” she shrugged.

Kai raised his eyebrows in shock. So he decided to explain who exactly he was. “Well, I assume they told you exactly why you're babysitting me. Right? I’m the new big bad in Mystic Falls. In the prison world I kidded BonBon, multiple times. I assume she’s your friend since you are obviously friends with Damon, Stefan, Alaric, and the rest of them. Probably friends with Jo, Live and Luke as well if you're willing to protect them. They trust you enough to watch me.”

Y/n didn’t miss the way he said his sister's name with disgust, he must really want to kill her like they said. Considering he look’s 22 and Jo looks 44, Y/n took it as in prison worlds you don’t age. Also he killed Bonnie in one so you can’t die either. Damn witches are assholes.

“Well for one thing they told me their side of the story of what happened. Second thing, me and Bonnie are not friends so whatever kill her I don’t care. And yes, they are my friends I guess you could say. Third thing, trust me now that is a kinda long story. They do trust me but that took a very long time, being the daughter of the original Hybrid Klaus Mikaelson whom they trust as far as they can throw. Trust wasn’t an easy thing to earn, Especially since I’m alot like my father. They have me babysitting you because I’m a Hybrid like him as well, and a witch.” Y/n smirked at him which made him smile widely.

“So I guess that means I can’t convince you to let me out?” He asked with a cheeky grin. Y/n shook her head ‘no’ and they both laughed.

Y/n realized she liked his laugh, she didn’t think he laughs often. After a while their laughter died down they started talking about everything and nothing all at the same time. They talked for hours and at some point they had both started leaning against the cellar door. Then the object of ‘pasts’ came up.

“Kai we don’t have to. We don’t have to talk about the past or family if you don’t want to. I get it’s a touchy subject.” Y/n told him sincerely.

Kai nodded even though she couldn’t see him. “You're right we don’t, but I want to know yours and I take it that if I don’t tell you anything then you won’t tell me anything. Am I correct?”

He was right, she wouldn’t tell him if he didn’t share his. “Yes, you're right.”

Kai nodded. “Fine. My family called me an abomination and they physically and mentally abused me with magic and, not because I’m a siphoner. I can’t and couldn’t fight back. Since I couldn’t generate my own magic. My parents didn’t want me to possibly rule the coven, so they kept having kids till another set of twins was born. When twins turn 22 in our coven they merge and the winner takes both powers and becomes the leader of the coven. The other dies. When me and Jo were supose to merge they said no, I went on a rampage. They decided to let us merge but it was all a set up to send me to the prison world. One of my very own, like hell.”

Y/n felt sad for him, his parents turned him into what he was today. They made him into the sociopath, from how they treated him. It wasn’t his fault he was born a siphoner. Called an abomination in his own home growing up by the people who should’ve loved him. It was so wrong in so many ways.

Y/n wanted to lighten the mood a bit. “Wow. That's some history. Am I supposed to top that?”

“There’s more things to me than just that but some things stay secret.” Kai winked, obviously teasing her.

Y/n bit her lip and rolled her eyes at his coolness.

“Okay! Your turn.” He said excitedly through the door.

Y/n laughed before thinking where to start. “Ok, ok lets see, before and after my birth my fathers parents have been trying to kill me. And they're dead now and still try. So my father sent me away for a while. When he brought me back to live with him and our family, his siblings in New Orleans. Its not the only time I've been sent away, my father has a lot of enemies. He sent for me back when he came here and undaggered his siblings. We even have a house here. We caught up and that's when I met everyone. Lots of saving, lots of killing. But I think everything that me and my dad have been through made our bond stronger. There's more to me but you know some things stay secrets.”

Y/n heard him laugh at her copying of his words from before.

“Well I think we are pretty much tied on the who’s worse considering my parents beat me and your dad's enemies and parents keep trying to kill you. I mean at least mine let me live.” Kai let out an amused breath.

“OK well this is getting depressing.” She sighed

“Agreed.” He said

Then suddenly Damon’s name lit up Y/n’s phone with a text.

[ Hey won’t be back for a couple more hours. Please keep watching him.]

Y/n scoffed, fully annoyed she’d already been here for 5 hours.

“What?” Kai asked, having heard her scoff and seen the annoyance on her face.

“Damon’s going to be even longer.” Y/n was officially pissed. Y/n thought for a moment and then a brilliant idea popped into her head. “You know if I have to watch you why does it have to be here?” She smirked michevously up at the breunette.

“What do you have in mind?” He questioned.

“If I have to watch you I’m not going to do it here.” Y/n stated.

“Wasn’t that the point?” Kai questioned.

“So?” She shrugged. “His text didn’t say it had to continue here.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not what he meant but I won’t stop you.” Kai smirked at her idea, completely ready to be free from his cell.

Y/n didn’t need a key since she was hundreds of years old witch.

 “They're gonna be pissed when they find out.” He told her as he stepped out the doorway.

“They can’t and don’t know how to kill me. And my father plus Aunts and Uncles wouldn’t let them lay a finger on me.” She rolled her eyes.

So the two of them walked upstairs when Kai spoke up. “So you really want to hang out with me?”

“Of course.” she nodded but when she looked over at Kai he seemed relieved. “Did you think I would say no?”

He scratched the back of his head looking to the floor.

“Kai” Y/n looked at him and stepped in front of him reaching up to hold his face in her hands. “After everything we just talked about, and me letting you out, why would I not want to hangout with you?”

Y/n leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. Kai couldn’t believe he might’ve actually found a friend.

“You mentioned your name when we talked. How if they named you Mlachia then they must have expected you to be evil. When I look in your eyes I don’t see evil, I see a boy that doesn’t know what love is.” Y/n looked into his eyes. Kai saw no malice, no hatred. She cared about him.

“You don’t know me. Not really.” He shook his head not believing that she could care about him.

“I don’t. But I’d like to.” She smiled warmly at him. Y/n lifted her shoulders smiling looking into his eyes. “Who knows, maybe you can change. I’m not saying to stop killing, I’m just saying maybe not kill everyone. People might see you differently.”

Kai laughed at the last part, it was probably true. “No one’s gonna ever see me differently. No one will ever see me as redeemed.”

Kai looked down actually feeling sad about that. No one would ever give him a chance. He’d never be forgiven.

“Hey, you want to know why my dad and everyone calls me Hope?” Y/n asked, she was gonna tell him anyway but luckily he nodded so she continued. He didn’t just nod though he also raised an eyebrow and made a look that made Y/n laugh. “He calls me Hope, because I’m his hope. His hope to be better, his hope of redemption. Maybe I can be your hope to.”

Kai smiled nodding along. “Maybe.”

With that they officially left the Salvatore boarding house to go have some freedom and fun.

Taglist: @padawancat97

[hologramcowboy]

Okay, well, Jensen finally showed up on television again. This time, playing Russell Shaw on Tracker. I'm curious if you watched and what you think of his performance.

Personally, it felt like Dean Winchester never left. It didn't help that there were numerous (and obvious) SPN easter eggs in the episode. I'm curious if that's happened before when guest stars come on. Do the writer's play up that actor's previous roles as much as they did Jensen's?

I'm also curious about a few tweets I saw from people who attended the FBBC event. Apparently, Jensen talked about his role on Tracker.

https://twitter.com/kunerksterphoto/status/1789808856576487771 and https://twitter.com/kunerksterphoto/status/1789808858505888136

I know we get dude in #Tracker tonight, so a little story. I wore my “I Miss Dean” shirt to the brewery event last weekend and as soon as dude saw it he was like “you know that episode of Tracker I did? I asked how they saw me playing it and they told me to do what I know best. So if you miss Dean, you’re going to get quite a bit of Dean on Tracker because he’s what I do best.” So it was a conscious choice and I am so excited by this.

https://twitter.com/kgauck/status/1789821196839637236

He told me I'd probably see a lot of Dean in his role on Tracker. I joked that he was dressed a lot like Dean in the promo pics, and then he made a joke about being typecast.

It sounds like Jensen's basically thrown in the towel on improving his craft since he apparently doesn't mind playing Dean in all his roles, or being typecast.

I read things like this and I can't imagine that he'll ever get another lead role. It's all going to be guest spots for characters that are similar to Dean Winchester. It's disappointing because he's definitely had the time post-SPN to take classes and improve between Covid and the strike. I suppose if he's happy doing guest spots and conventions, good for him, but as a sort-of fan/nearly former fan, I'm just sad to see his career come to this.

He's becoming a sad cliché. He is confusing a character for his main type and that is why he will never be A list and definitely never be Batman.

Thank you for this lovely post, anon.

I did tune in for the episode and, quite frankly, I was disappointed. Casting him seems to have been a gimmick, right down to the beer mentions.

First off, his acting initially seemed to be improved, right up until he started using that fake voice again then it all became cringe after cringe. I am so saddened that Jensen can't see past Dean and that he can't be himself. I know now that he'll never make it, an actor that stagnates can't ever reach A list.

Justin, in comparison, acts naturally, he has a natural instinct and this really just made Jensen look even faker. For the for the first time, Jensen played a completely meh character. He's turning into one of those dudes that star in various shows that no one even remembers because they are just there to advance the lead's plot. Right down to his superficial, mediocre, unnatural choices and I am sorry but in no way did he have the layers of someone who served in the army. That was a key characteristic of his character and he completely missed the plot on that and that's because the mention of it was a Soldier Boy easter egg. Jensen gets so caught up in flaunting his celebrity persona he forgets to embody his characters realistically.

I've read comments from AAs who claim Russell is different compared to Dean and I just want to say: gimmick casting, the whole script was written to callback to Dean, easter eggs included. Stop lying to yourselves and admit that Jensen has thrown in the towel. He is a one trick pony and that one trick will soon expire because, you know what? It's not an interesting character, it's not someone to root for, it's not someone fighting for something. It's a bored, self centered man faking a rougher inner and outer state and mimicking (yes, that's right, mimicking not acting) an idea of his old character. Mimicking poorly. As someone who loved Dean Winchester( when he was well written), I really need Jensen to stop because he is ruining the memory and disrespecting the legacy.

Thank you, anon, for sending me this ask and for asking my opinion, it pains me to say but I agree with you, lead roles aren't feasible.

[pencil-peach]

G Witch Onscreen Text: Episode 2

This is part 3 in an ongoing series where I try and document and discuss all of the text that appears on screens and monitors throughout the show! Just because I can!

<<Click here to go back to Episode 1!

(Once I have a masterpost set up I will link it here!) Let us Begin! Below the Cut!

TEXT: (Lefthand side) Registered Name: AERIAL PMET CODE: 5011-0083 MANUFACTUR(ER): SHIN-SEI DEVELOPMENT CORPORATION STATUS: IN SERVICE REGISTERED PILOT: SULETTA MERCURY

At the beginning of the episode, Rouji has Haro run a program that compares Aerial's permet code and registered statistics against other registered Mobile Suits to try and find a match, and measures the probability of the two being the same type of MS. There is no direct match to any other MS by Permet Code, but the system states there's an 85% probability that it's a match for a Mobile Suit with permet code 0025-0082.

We never see the specific name of this MS, but considering that Shaddiq names "Ochs Earth" as the company that made it and proceeds to call Aerial, "...the Witch's Mobile Suit," I think it's reasonable to assume that 0025-0082 was the Permet Code for Lfrith-03.

TEXT: ALERT ACCESS CONTROL [???] [----OF ENTRY A---]

Unfortunately due to the small text of the Alert message, the fact that it scrolls, and it's brief time onscreen, its hard to make out specifically what it says. My best assumption from what we have is that it's a warning currently barring anyone from entry into the 13th Tactical Testing Sector.

TEXT: (Suletta's Asticassia ID) PILOTING DEPARTMENT ID No: LP-041 SULETTA MERCURY BIRTHPLACE: MERCURY HOUSE: NO DATA PC-CRIMINAL RECORD: NO DATA PC-BIOMETRIC SYSTEM: REGISTERED

(Below) WE ARE RESPONSIBLE UNDER COMPANY REGULATIONS FOR THE PROCESSING OF PERSONAL DATA

UNDER THESE REGULATIONS, WE ARE ALSO RESPONSIBLE FOR DATA HANDLING SUCH AS TRANSMISSION TO RECIPIENTS AND THIRD PARTIES.

PLEASE REFER TO THE FOLLOWING DOCUMENTS FOR DETAILS.

As Suletta is being questioned, we get a brief glimpse at the investigation report the interrogator was looking at before the screen cuts to black when it hits the table. Nothing super interesting here, but Suletta doesn't have a registered criminal record! Yippeeee!

TEXT: CAM: 05 MONITORING CAMERA FACILITY MANAGEMENT COMPANY

Not much to say here, this camera lets us know where Suletta is currently being held. (The Facility Management Company)

TEXT: (Lefthand Side) AERIAL XVX - 016 SIZE: 18.0m 48.9t

No point discussing the info on the right, we've already seen it, but this gives us a look at Aerial's height and weight.

TEXT: (Top Right) COM DELLING REMBRAN BENERIT GROUP

I only included this to point out that wow the display system devs made some poor choices with the UI here. Dark Blue text on Dark Backgrounds? You'd think the text would automatically lighten but I guess we'll have to wait for Ver 6.0 for that update.

TEXT (Top half) MOBILE CRAFT FUTURE TECHNOLOGY

ADVANCED MOBILE CRAFT TECHNOLOGY WITH PERMET MEASUREMENT EXPERTISE NEW POWER SYSTEM FOR MOBILE CRAFT AND HYBRID CONSTRUCTION MACHINE INSTALLATION HIGH ACCURACY DRIVE SYSTEM AND CONTROL SYSTEM IN MICROGRAVITY LOW ENERGY CONSUMPTION AND EASE OF MAINTENNANCE

No need to discuss the bottom half, its just the height and weight of the MC which we already know. I think it's funny how many classes this school seems to have on the new and improved Mobile Craft from Future Technology. I should probably buy one too. I love you Mobile Craft.

TEXT: (Left Image) The Shin Sei Development Corporation was established in A.S. 89. Our business began with the development of integrated operating systems for mobile suits and medical devices. We have been involved in MS development and have supported welfare engineering throughout our company history.

(Right Image) Ranking: D Sales Ranking (within group companies): 151th (out of) Total 157 companies [Mobile Suit Development] Number of clients: Over 300 companies Yearly patents: Over 200

We get a lot of information about Shin Sei in this scene where Martin looks at the Company History tab on their official website. The most interesting thing being that they were founded in A.S. 89. The Vanadis Incident occured in A.S. 101, and the show proper takes place in A.S. 122, so at some point between 101 and 122, Prospera worked her way up through Shin Sei, eventually becoming its CEO.

Given that Suletta had to have been born around A.S. 105, and that in Cradle Planet, we learn that Prospera had been working within Shin Sei when Suletta was around 6, that places A.S. 111 as the earliest she was involved.

We also learn in Cradle Planet, that when Suletta is around 11, Prospera has recently been promoted within the company, and now has many people working under her. That would be around A.S. 116. When Suletta is 16, that's when Prospera tells her that she's going to school, which would be around A.S. 121, and I think it's safe to assume that she had already become president by then.

SO!! TL;DR!! It's most likely that Prospera became the president of Shin Sei at SOME point between A.S 116 and A.S 121. I'd put it somewhere in the middle, around A.S 119. (Can't wait to find out that they probably just outright state this somewhere and I did all this for nothing....)

ADDENDUM

GOD DAMNIT. I WATCHED ALL OF CRADLE PLANET TO MATH THAT SHIT OUT. WHATEVER. I CAME TO THE SAME CONCLUSION SO I WIN.

The text is too small to make out, but we DO get a small glimpse at the letter Delling sent to Miorine about unenrolling her from the school. It probably just literally says what the body guard reads out.

I think it says something that Delling doesn't even like, text his daughter. He sends an email through the official Benerit Group email account to her bodyguard who reads it for her. What a cowardly man.

TEXT: (Left) FLUSH (Right) EMERGENCY CALL UNLOCK LOCK

YES the toilet text is important to document stop fucking looking at me like that.

TEXT: NEXT STAGE TOUCH SCREEN TO CONTINUE

I'll leave the explanation of the symbolism of this scene as an exercise for the reader. [Sultry Wink]

TEXT (Above) THIS ELECTRONIC SIGNATURE IS PROOF THAT IT WAS SIGNED BY A REPRESENTATIVE OF THE BENERIT GROUP.

No way to tell what Delling is signing here, but we do get a brief look at his handwriting. It turns out his cursive is really bad, actually!

At the Shin Sei inquiry, Shaddiq shares this graph titled "PMET RETENTION THRESHOLD VALUE", stating that during the duel, Aerial's Permet Influx Values exceeded the standards set by Cathedra.

This graph can be tough to parse, so let me explain it as best I can. The blue line represents Aerial's Permet Retention during the duel. The solid dark line represents the permet retention limit imposed by cathedra on mobile suits. (At around 500) As we can see, while Aerial began the duel underneath that limit, it exceeded it for a moment (presumably when Suletta took over for Miorine and the GUND bits were activated.)

The red line above that is labelled DATA STORM INCIDENT, which is representative of the minimum Permet Retention a Gundam expresses when it is interfacing with a Data Storm. The text on the bottom reads, THIS DATA IS VERY SIMILAR TO GUND FORMAT INCIDENT DATA.

But the key thing to take note of here is that Aerial's chart just BARELY doesn't exceed the DATA STORM INCIDENT graph, meaning that, despite it exceeding Cathedra's standards, it CANNOT be directly proven that Aerial was interfacing with a Data Storm. This is actually what Prospera brings up as her main counterpoint to the accusation.

So the graph is entirely consistent with Prospera's main argument. While she can't prove that Aerial isn't a gundam, nobody else can prove that it is.

Huaaaahh!! Alright!! This one was very DENSE. If you made it all the way through, thank you very much!! As a reward, have some little gay people

[I sprinkle these stills on the ground like bird seed.]

There was definitely a lot of really interesting info in this episode, and while not a lot of it was particularly new, I think it's really a testament to the dedication of keeping things wholly consistent in this world, even for the smallest of things that no normal person watching would even bother noticing.

Also, on the Shin Sei Website, did you notice that they accidentally put 151th instead of 151st?

You can't win em all!

Click here to go to Episode 3! >>

Click here to go to the Masterpost!

[itsbasicallycanon]

Hey, it's me againnn! Soo I was wondering, do you do any drawing exercises to improve?? Like any perspective or foreshortening practice? Or just practicing with drawing poses? If so, can you tell me what you do? I seriously need to get better at drawing the anatomy properly. Also, I'm changing my art style yet again and I'm looking for advice :) Thanks <3

Also, I was very proud of what you did with the prompts I sent you. It wasn't what I was expecting from that prompt at all. It was better.

Firstly, thanks for the kind words <333 This is gonna be a ramble but I hope it helps!

Honestly the way I improve the most is just drawing something I know I can't at least once. Like here's some pics where I push my perspective little by little.

They don't always look right so I usually don't finish them but! I draw it once and can easily see what I don't understand about the perspective. From there I usually try to draw it again with a reference cause now I know what I need to look for in the reference, like which shapes or 3d forms go into the thing I'm drawing.

This applies to any concept you struggle to draw btw! Perspective, body types, face shapes, muscles, an animal you've never drawn before. You don't always have to go right back into with a reference handy either- especially since sometimes it's hard to find that exact pose or reference. What I've been doing is just watching my animated media and I tend to take note of how they drew the thing I struggled with. Because I struggled with it, it's a lot easier to notice when they do it my show or comic. Like when someone tells you how hotdogs are made so know you think about it every time you see one.

Well that's the general advice but for more specific things like this one I drew for my friend I simply couldn't fathom how to draw the pose so I used a 3d poser and worked out the shapes.

Just in general I also try to sketch out random poses to hopefully improve my anatomy. Doesn't have but anything elaborate as long as you're understanding the form. Sometimes limbs make no sense so it's good to glance at muscle anatomy. (I use AdoraSketch's website and MagicPoser on iOS.)

But I cannot stress enough, I do this all causally. My progress is been limb by limb. I learn to draw a specific muscle in the arm, learn to draw the jawline from an upward perspective, etc. Typing it all out makes it feel like an art class final but most improvement is subconscious. Probably my biggest advice is to keep drawing what you love. I still can't draw beefy men but my love of Nightwing keeps me crawling back every year or so. Also Laios from Dungeon Meshi. I would not bother half the time if I didn't want to draw my blorbos doing funny stuff.

[dokidokitsuna]

Looking forward to playing my first Splatfest ever! As you can see, I’m Team Sour~

I feel like I’m in a kind of odd in-between position; where I’m new enough that I can still relate to the Christmas noobs, but experienced enough to already have a solid playstyle and a few weapons of choice…and if there are any fellow new players following me or casual players who are just looking to improve, I’d like to share a vital piece of wisdom I’ve gained over the past ~1.5 months:

Find your comfort zone, and make it your niche.

Before, when I used to imagine what it’d be like to play Splatoon, I thought of myself as a ‘support’ player, who’d probably spend most of my time inking turf and helping my allies defeat enemies, rather than going full offensive on my own.

When I actually started to play, I did do that for a while (out of fear XD)…but before long I started trying to copy everyone else, thinking that jumping straight into battle was the ‘right’ way to play and that I needed to stop being a ‘coward’. Long story short, I got killed A LOT doing that (lots of unhappy memories with the Reefslider…), and I found myself getting more and more frustrated after matches, and eventually I thought “Y’know what? Clearly this isn’t working…maybe I should just go back to the non-confrontational approach”.

I made a point to stop using weapons with specials that made me try to get into the middle of fights, and stick with specials I could use from the sidelines (Tacticooler, Wave Breaker). Then I went back to playing like a ‘coward’...and I started learning things.

My first breakthrough was literally just learning tactics-- watching player behavior, and figuring out how to exploit it. For instance, when my team was getting cornered or otherwise unable to advance, I would use the ‘suicide run’: sneak around the side of the map and make a mad dash into enemy territory. Not necessarily to ink turf, but to simply get everyone to turn their backs on the front lines and focus on the intruder (who is always seen as the more urgent threat). If you can survive for at least 10 seconds, it’s a valid strategy, and doing this on the regular also taught me evasive skills pretty early on. When you’re constantly getting attacked by 2-3 people at once surrounded by enemy ink with no one nearby to help, you learn fast. ^^

My next breakthrough was learning to aim…which is a valuable skill that not everyone has, believe it or not. ^^ And as the person who usually wandered off alone to ink all the unloved corners of the map, I often found myself in a position to sneak up on enemies and quickly splat them when they were focused on other things…which eventually became the cornerstone of my playstyle.

At this point, I’ve gone back to focusing on inking turf and ‘Splat Assisting’...but I do it not out of fear of trying other things, but because I’m GOOD at THOSE things and now I know how to do them in the most beneficial ways. I’ve learned to ‘splatter’ enemy turf to slow down opponents’ movements and draw them out of hiding, and even to paint escape routes for struggling allies. My aim’s gotten so good that anyone I can hit before they notice me is usually splatted in 2 seconds, and I specifically target people who are preoccupied so I can get those kills. Yesterday I racked up 21 in Clam Blitz (a mode that, just last week, I was afraid to even try) just by doing what I do best and ‘assisting’.

All that is to say, what you feel comfortable doing (in any MMO game, really) is probably what you need to be doing; you just need to get yourself the right tools and tailor your playstyle to accommodate it. There are lots of types of skillsets that can be useful in Splatoon, and lots of ways to work with each weapon class (and Salmon Run is a great way to trial-by-fire yourself into finding weapons you never knew you’d click with…once upon a time I almost considered becoming a Splatana main). Just go with your gut, believe in yourself, and always prioritize having fun~

[emblemxeno]

Things about FE Engage that I like

Since it’s almost 2 weeks before release, I’m gonna list things that I like in no particular order.

-Visuals! The game is the prettiest and most stylish the series has ever looked, especially in 3D. Environments are bright! Attacks have flourish! Everything is smooth in motion! Very, very fun to look at. And honestly I’m in the minority in that there’s no character design that I dislike, mostly because I love camp and gaudy lol.

-Story. Nobody knows much about it yet, but it looks easier to follow and appreciate, which is a breath of fresh air after Three Houses. No split routes (thank god), and even though the villainous faction is/seems to be “less morally gray”, it seems akin to past FE stories where things will probably be more emotionally charged within the party. So many royal siblings, the Brodia Brothers are (probably) gonna lose their dad, the Elusia sisters are looking to be betraying their country, the fact that the 4 countries are so different right off the bat just oozes potential. We’ll see for certain whether I’m impressed by the end, but as of now I like what I see.

-The attitude/presentation. The game is pretty aware that it’s camp and fun. There’s workout and rail shooting minigames for crying out loud. Casual clothes and dining! Something like Private Quarters! POLISHING RINGS LIKE THE BADGES IN THE GEN 4 POKEMON GAMES. Love it.

-Somniel! Like a 3D My Castle, something I vastly prefer over Garreg Mach. You can just do your regular business in the shops and head out, but if you wanna do other stuff to improve stats or chat with allies, you can! Everything is as mandatory as you want it to be, and no calendar nor set geographical location means you’re not limited by a mechanic or story boundaries to do what you want.

-Weapon Triangle improvements! The Break system is a perfect solution to making the WT viable throughout the entire game. Having just a Hit/Avoid/Slight Damage Reduction was nice in early parts of other games, but honestly could start getting pretty irrelevant near the mid-point. The Break system remedies that, giving constant incentive to utilizing it. It also gives more value to Player Phase, and enemies being able to use it too means you gotta be doubly aware. I genuinely hope this mechanic (or something similar) is kept in future titles.

-Battle Styles! The things like Backup, Covert, Flying, etc. give each class their own niche and bonuses beyond just weapons types, and I think it’s fabulous.

-Static weapon ranks and weapon talents! Engage took a page from FE4 by just having set weapon ranks for classes/characters. There’s also weapon talents, like in Three Houses, but they tweaked it in a way that I much prefer. Characters have talents, which let them access other classes (e.g. if you have talents in lance and sword, you can access classes that use lances and/or swords) but like weapon ranks you don’t have to grind experience for them. There’s also natural talents, which increase the weapon ranks by one stage when applicable (e.g. Alcryst I think has a talent in axe and and a natural talent in bow, so he can switch into classes that reuqire one of those talents, and his bow rank will be higher than regular talented bow characters). Furthermore, you can inherit talents from bonding with Emblems, once again mitigating grinding beyond use of the new and powerful mechanic.

-Differing types of classes! There’s Sword, Axe, and Lance armor knights and Sword, Axe, and Lance cavs like in the Tellius games, but also Axe and Sword fliers, Heroes that use axes or lances alongside swords, wolf knights that use swords, axes, or lances alongside daggers, etc. This lifts another restriction by letting characters have more freedom in choosing classes with less possible talents, i.e. you can be a Hero class with an axe or a lance, so long as you still have a sword talent. In fact, I think the only restriction besides personal classes is that Pegasus Knights are female only (as lame as that is, it’s a tradition and expected for an anniversary game), but even then, Griffin Knights seem to be replacing Falcon Knights (since they have staff access) and are most likely gender neutral because of the lack of Pegasi.

-Emblems!!! They give unique weapons and skills and attacks. And I’m glad that they seem busted, cuz they should make the shiny new mechanic for the anniversary game OP, it’s fun!

-Fanservice for FE fans! Even beyond the Emblems themselves, the game is really appreciative of past FE games. Amiibo support lets you get the lords’ outfits and past music tracks, there are remixed versions of said tracks new to Engage, bond rings are a neat way to incorporate non-lord characters from past games into Engage in some way, and there’s entire throwback maps for each Emblem! Hell, even the small stuff like each Emblem’s engage weapons being modeled after the version in their home games (Ike’s Hammer is the RD look of the hammer and Sigurd’s Ridersbane is the FE4 TCG look for ridersbane) make me smile! Even similar weapons like Marth’s Rapier and Eirika’s Rapier have distinct looks to separate them, and that’s so cool!!!

There are other things too, like the music sounds great so far (but I haven’t heard enough of it nor for long enough to give an opinion), VA work is good, Alear as a protagonist I’m enjoying, there seems to be unique map objectives, the investment mechanic is fucking rad, SOMMIE IS SUPER CUTE!!! 

As a whole, I’m just super excited for this game.

[stargazer-sims]

15 OC Questions!

I was tagged by the lovely @rebelangelsims (twice! But I'll happily do two of these!) I love this type of ask, where the character gets to answer the questions in their own words. It's a great way to improve (or create) narrative voice, and I love the challenge of making it sound convincing, as if the character really is answering it themselves.

Victor Okamoto-Nelson

Are you named after anyone?

Actually, yeah. I’m named after my mom. Her real first name is Victoria, which a lot of people don’t know because she’s always gone by her middle name, Grace. Anyway, if I’d been a girl, I would’ve been Victoria too, but I turned out to be a boy, so I’m Victor instead.

I'm also named after my dad, Thomas Edward Nelson. Thomas and Edward are my two middle names. I lost my dad when I was six, and it’s always meant a lot to me that I have his names because it's like I'm carrying a part of him with me no matter where I go.

When was the last time you cried?

Oh. Uhh… yesterday? I cry pretty easily, and it doesn’t take much. Yuri, my husband, likes to joke that I cry for everything, and he’s kinda not wrong. I mean, it’s not always full-on sobbing. In fact, it’s mostly not, but getting teary-eyed is still technically crying, so… yeah. I guess I’m soft, or I’m not very good at masking my emotions, or something.

Do you have kids?

No. Yuri and I don’t want any. We’re enough for each other.

Do you use sarcasm?

Not really? I think you have to be smarter than I am to use it effectively. Plus, sometimes it’s just confusing. And also, it sometimes feels kind of mean to answer people with sarcasm.

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Their physical condition. Like, if they look healthy or not, whether they’re fit or not and if they’re moving and talking and breathing comfortably. I know that’s probably weird, but it’s something I really pay attention to.

What’s your eye colour?

Blue. They're almost the exact same shade as my mom's. Someone once described them as 'oceanic blue' and even though I've seen the ocean before, I never really saw why that person made that comparison until I visited Sulani for the first time. Mine and my mom's eyes aren't just oceanic blue. They're Sulani ocean blue.

Scary movies or happy endings?

I don’t like movies that are seriously, intentionally meant to scare people. I enjoy some of the more campy horror movies, but I don’t want to see anything that’s gonna give me nightmares. Yuri also doesn’t like scary movies, so I never have to worry about sitting through one for him either. We both prefer happy endings, or at least endings where most — or even better, all — of the characters are still alive.

Any special talents?

I don't think so? I'm super awesome at snowboarding, but I don't think that's what you're asking. Yuri says I give really good massages. Is that a special talent?

Where were you born?

Willow Creek

What are your hobbies?

Snowboarding? Oh, you mean other than my obsession, right? I love cooking and baking. Is that a hobby? I like fishing, gardening and playing video games. Dog training is probably a hobby, right? I really enjoy working with the dogs.

Have you any pets?

Yes, we have two dogs. Rosie is a smooth-coated chihuahua, and Sango is a Pomeranian. When we move to our new house, Yuri wants to have chickens and maybe a cat.

What sports do you play/have played?

All the sports! Seriously, I haven't yet found a sport that I'm not good at. I love all kinds of sports and I've played a lot of different ones. My favourites are soccer, swimming, and of course snowboarding. Not to brag or anything, but I'm a world-class competitive snowboarder. Like, I mean... shredding is life. If I couldn't be on the mountain, I think I'd be super depressed, because that's one of the things that makes me feel most alive.

How tall are you?

187cm

Favourite subject in school?

Physical Education. I wasn't really that great in any academic subjects, but I liked P.E. a lot and I also liked Home Economics.

Dream job?

This is a hard one, because I think I have more than one option for my dream job. Like, my current job as a wellness coach and personal trainer is amazing. I love helping people reach their health and wellness goals. and I'm really happy doing this. But, even when I was in college, doing my diploma program in Health and Wellness Management, I was still thinking about my future career. I thought I'd like to be either a physical therapist or a nurse. These days, I'm leaning more towards licensed practical nursing, and maybe specializing in home health care. I think I'd be good at that.

______

I'll tag: @holocene-sims @theageofsims @ljfoxie @cawthorntales @dandylion240 (I know you've already done this) and @blithesomebawcock

Feel free to ignore this if you've already done it or don't want to. <3

[quietimtryingtostudy]

So worried I won't crack JEE , giving first attempt in JAN 24

Dear anon,

Let me tell you something- right now, you've got time. It may seem that a whole year has gone, and you've only got one year left, but listen- you can still very much do this. To give my own example, if I had practised even a bit more, I'd have been getting decent marks in my mocks. You reap what you sow and all.

Right now, try to let your worries go, alright? There's going to be plenty of worrying later on, like, oh I don't know, 7 days before your JEE Mains second and last attempt (yes I have mine in april, after a week. Haha).

You've got this year, and you can still do wonders in it. Push yourself only as far as you can be pushed, remember to not stay in your comfort zone. Pull up your socks. I'm being very honest that even if you feel like you're the dumbest person in the whole entire world, you can still bring a huge change in your performance simply by practising hard.

The thing about JEE Mains is that it's not an impossible paper. It's just frightening to think of, which is why it is important to give mocks before your actual mains, to get rid of the fear (Deep Waters haha)

Your worries are natural. I used to freak out more about my JEE in 11th and 12th than I'm doing right now when I'm so close to my second attempt.

Seriously anon, just practise hard and work on your weak/not-so-strong areas right now, while you still can, okay? Give it your best try to manage both CBSE and JEE preparation side by side, as both are important.

Practise is key

Clear your concepts and keep up with the syllabus in your classes as much as you can

It's okay to socialise less if you feel it will help you to improve your performance, but don't go about isolating yourself. Stay in connect with your loved ones (friends and/or family), and don't be afraid to pause communication for a while when you believe you need to focus a lot.

PYQ's are an efficient way to know the type of questions asked in any and all exams.

Practise is key!

Also. A little PSA. Not cracking JEE Mains is not the end of your world. IIT's and NIT's, though reputed and prestigious and all that, are not the end-all-be-all for engineering colleges. Yes, the fee is lighter on the soul than private colleges, and there's also the self affirmation. But. The self affirmations will still be there if you just work your hardest and give it your best go.

(A little tip- absolutely do give the first JEE attempt as it will have lesser number of candidates than the second attempt so a higher percentile will be easier to achieve)

This has gotten so long lol.

MAIN POINTS DEAR ANON:

work hard

practise a LOT

clear your concepts and try to keep up with your classes as much as you can

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF (this gets you halfway to completing the JEE experience)

keep some breathing exercises handy just in case things get stressful

have some counselors/mentors/teachers/trusted adults that you can talk to about your academics, your schedule, your performance, your mental health

PRACTISE 💪💪 You can do this!

Not cracking JEE won't be the end of your world or life. There's many many opportunities and paths still that you can take (you can even text me for some info about stuff if you want)

Give yourself this one year to do your best, to give your hardest effort- at the end you'll have that feeling of content that you did what you could, and you did good

My dm's and inbox is always open too, for anyone wanting to talk about this stuff (though I'll most probably be properly active after my upcoming JEE mains)

Hope this helped, anon!

[inazumaeveryday]

Day 14

At home

Kidou: Good morning, mar.

Raimon has their match against Shuuyou Meito today.

I won’t be going to watch, though. There are more important things tomorrow I need to prepare for.

mar: (More important things…?)

Option 1

mar: Do you have another party?

Kidou: No, it’s not a party. We have tests tomorrow, remember?

Option 2

mar: Do you mean the tests?

Kidou: Yeah. We have tests tomorrow.

Kidou: We’ve been going out to watch matches a lot recently, so…

For your sake as well, I just thought we’d focus on school today.

There’s a new wind blowing over at Raimon.

As they are now, I’m sure they’ll see through Shuuyou Meito’s tricks.

There’s no way they’d lose to a team like that, even without Gouenji.

*

Kidou: Every morning, I do a quick review of what I studied the night before.

I need to make the best use of my time and study as efficiently as I can.

Breakfast

Kidou: There are a lot of foods that help improve memory.

Hakamada always includes a few of them in the meals he prepares for me when I have a test coming up.

Kidou’s room

Kidou: I should probably bring a new notebook…

mar, do you need one too?

In the car

Kidou: Here, mar. You can read this.

They’re test prep notes I put together for you.

Morning practice

Kidou: We might have tests soon, but that sort of thing doesn’t take priority over Teikoku's soccer club activities.

We’ll have morning practice just like always.

At school

Class (English)

Kidou: Today’s English conversation class is about English accents and dialects…

It feels like an entirely new language.

Break

Banjou: Hmm… Yes, this is correct.

Sakiyama: Alright, awesome!! Now, the next question…

Henmi: (grumbling) Ahhh, damn it…

Jimon: I’ll review this too just in case…

Gojou: Kukuku… It’s almost too easy.

Oono: ACK—!! I got one question wrong!!

mar: (Everyone’s studying during breaks too…)

Option 1

mar: You guys don’t study together?

Kidou: Of course not.

Option 2

mar: Woah, everyone’s so serious about this…!

Kidou: It’s always like that before a test.

Kidou: Teikoku’s soccer club doesn’t only value a player’s ability to play well. You also have to get excellent grades to qualify for a spot on the starting lineup.

Kidou: We regulars might be teammates usually, but when it comes to tests, we’re all rivals, defending our spot on the team.

A lot of people in the club want a chance to play in matches, too. Playing well doesn’t guarantee we won’t get kicked off the team and replaced by someone else if our grades fall.

This is your first time taking tests at Teikoku, right? Do you think you could make it into the top 30?

*

Kidou: Everyone’s focused on studying even during breaks.

Keep working hard as well, mar.

Class (English)

Kidou: It can be a little hard to understand English slang and dialects…

That’s why it’s important to keep studying and keep an eye out for unfamiliar words whenever you’re reading in English.

Break

Kidou: In both soccer and school, you’re the type who keeps working at something steadily, right, Jimon?

Jimon: Well, I just don’t like having to rush it at the last minute.

Kidou: Heh… Same here.

Class (science)

Kidou: The universe really is endlessly vast.

Who knows what’s out there. Maybe one day I’ll even get to play soccer with aliens…

Break

Genda: I’m not particularly worried about Kidou, but what about you, mar? How do you feel about the tests?

Kidou: mar’s aiming for the top 30.

Genda: Wait, that means they need to score higher than 90 points in every subject, right…?

Alright, bring it on! I won’t lose to you!

Class (math)

Kidou: So this is a scholar who dedicated his entire life to mathematics…

We’re kind of similar. I suppose I’ve also dedicated my life to soccer so far.

Lunch

Sakuma: Hmm…

Genda: Hm, so…

Kidou: You guys… Won’t you stop studying and focus on your lunch?

Genda: Oh, sorry, you’re right.

Sakuma: Kidou’s pretty strict about manners, eh…

Lunch break

Kidou: …Ah, someone’s calling me.

…Oh, it’s you, Domon. How did the match go?

Oh, so Raimon won. Speaking of Raimon, how’s their training going at the Inabikari center?

Kidou: Hm? You want to meet up and talk about it in person?

Sure, I’ll see you there later.

Kidou: Domon sounded weirdly serious… I wonder what’s going on with him?

Genda and Sakuma join the conversation.

Kidou: Oh, Genda, Sakuma. I just heard that Raimon won their match against Shuuyou Meito.

Genda: So they really did win, huh…

Sakuma: Even though they were a team of nobodies just the other day…

Kidou: I think I might have been hoping for this, personally… I’m looking forward to playing against Raimon in the finals.

Oh, that’s right. I’ve got something to do today, so I won’t be able to come to practice…

I’m counting on you to lead the team while I’m gone.

Genda: No problem, leave it to me.

*

Kidou: Lunch break is a lot quieter than usual today…

I’m guessing a lot of people finished their lunch quickly to get back to studying.

Class (art)

Kidou: Ugh, I had no idea art class could be so tiring…

Phew… Being a model is unexpectedly hard work…

Break

Henmi: Excuse me, Kidou-san! Pleaase help me! I just can’t figure out this problem at all…

Kidou: Shouldn’t you ask the teacher about things like this?

Henmi: Please, I just barely made it last time! I can feel my spot on the team slipping away~!

Kidou: ………….

Well, when you put it that way… I can’t refuse, can I? Alright, let me see that problem.

Class (Japanese)

Kidou: I can read books in a very short time if I use speed-reading techniques, but…

I’ll take my time with the classics.

Break

Kidou: Every teacher has their own quirks.

If you pay attention, you’ll get some hints about the subject of the test.

Class (social studies)

Kidou: The use of soccer in politics, hmm…

Can the results of a soccer match sway public sentiment and even move a country?

In the car

Kidou: If it’s something that he can’t talk about on the phone…

Did Domon make some kind of mistake when collecting data about the training center…?

Raimon

Kidou: So, where’s the data about the Inabikari training center?

Domon: …I don’t have it yet.

Kidou: Then why did you call me here?

Domon: Kidou-san, are you serious about this?

I think this is going way too far… I mean, tampering with the bus, really?!

Kidou: What did you say…?

Domon: I knew it. Kidou-san, you had no idea about this either, did you?

Is this really the way Teikoku does things?

What the hell is the commander thinking…?!

Kidou: …………

Domon: I can’t keep going along with it anymore. This is just plain wrong! Does the commander want to win that badly?! He’s taking it way too far!

Kidou: That’s enough.

We’re not allowed to criticize the commander.

Domon: But—!

???: Onii-chan!

Kidou: !

Otonashi: Did you come here to spy on Raimon?

Kidou: …………

Kidou tries to leave.

Otonashi: Wait a minute!

Kidou: …Let go!

We’re not supposed to see each other.

Otonashi: !

Domon: Otonashi and Kidou-san are siblings…!?

In town

Kidou: mar, sorry if I surprised you.

I just can’t talk to her right now…

Anyway, I’m more concerned about what Domon said earlier.

Let’s go ask the commander about it directly.

In the car

Kidou: Tampering with Raimon’s bus…

Did the commander really give orders to do that…?

Kageyama’s office

Kageyama: You’ve become quite daring, haven’t you? Actually coming to me to give your opinion…

Kidou: No, it’s not an opinion…

Kageyama: Then I take it this is criticism?

You don’t agree with what Fuyukai is doing, right?

But don’t worry. I never gave him orders to tamper with that bus.

What I told him to do was only to prevent Raimon from entering the finals.

Heheheheh.

Kidou: You didn’t have to do that either…

Kageyama: Are you telling me that you can win?

Can you assure me that you’re a hundred percent certain that you can beat them? Can you?!

Kidou: !

Kageyama: Let me tell you something, Kidou.

A brilliant commander ensures that his team has already won before the match even starts.

You just keep doing as I say. You don’t need to worry about anything else.

Kidou: …………

Hallway

Kidou: We don’t need to do all that… We can win on our own…!

But the commander still…

In the car

Kidou: …………

At home

Kidou: …………

In the bath

Kidou: Win before the match has even started…?

So anything goes if it’s for the sake of winning…?

Dinner

Kidou: …………

Hakamada: Yuuto-sama, you haven’t touched your plate for quite some time…

Is everything alright…?

Kidou: Sorry, I was just thinking…

I’m fine, don’t worry.

Kingcraft lessons

Kyougoku: …Hm. You are unusually distracted from our lesson today.

Kidou: I’m sorry. I’ve been thinking about something…

Kyougoku: …If you are having trouble with something, think of it as an opportunity to grow instead.

I know you well, Yuuto-san. I am sure you will get through this.

So try not to be too hard on yourself.

Kidou: Yes… Thank you very much.

Later

Kidou: …………

…………

mar: (Yuuto-kun… He hasn’t said a word since…)

Option 1

mar: So you had a sister, huh? I had no idea!

Kidou: Ah, yeah…

Option 2

mar: Commander Kageyama’s awful! He’s a terrible person!

Kidou: …………

Kidou: Sigh… I guess I’ve got some explaining to do. I don’t even know where to start…

The truth is, I have a sister... You saw her today.

We live apart from each other for… reasons. But I’ve been trying to bring us back together into the Kidou family.

I made a deal with my father for that reason… He promised to adopt her if I could win the Football Frontier for three years in a row.

The commander’s dream of Teikoku staying undefeated coincides with mine. That’s why I have to keep winning…!

But not this way…

…………

*

Kidou: I should probably go to bed now…

Goodnight, mar…

At night

Kidou: Haruna…

[toastyrps]

paladin trio - tanvir, cory, and carter: 12, 17, 26, 31, 40, 68

oh boy, really making me work for this one huh lol

ok im gonna try to put a readmore because it got a little long haha

🐅 Tanvir is my drow paladin of vengeance

🐮 Cory is my firbolg paladin (lvl 2 so no oath yet!)

👁‍🗨 Carter is my variant human paladin of the crown

12. how have they altered their body? piercings, tattoos, biohacks, or other modifications—anything. why (or why not) did they (or someone else) make those changes?

🐅 Tanvir — the most obvious change isn’t necessarily like a body mod? but he’s significantly scarred up on his torso from the Incident that led to him becoming a were tiger. He does also have a pierced ear but tbh it’s probably closed but because it’s been so long since he’s worn an earring.

🐮 Cory — no body mods or changes for Cory; although he’s definitely thought about getting a tattoo before, he never has.

👁‍🗨 Carter — uhhh nothing I can think of! besides of course the temporary tattoos of the script of a cursed book covering his body for some time…. He might be a little turned off at tattoos at this point tbh.

17. they’re crying—what did it take to make them cry?

🐅 Tanvir — It’s either tiny drops in the corners of his eyes because he’s feeling bittersweet or nostalgic, or he’s actually letting himself have his breakdown of the decade thinking about the people he’s lost and how much it would hurt to lose the people he currently has.

🐮 Cory — Despite feeling a lot of emotions all the time, Cory really doesn’t cry - unless of course, he’s drunk, in which case he could think about a baby animal and start crying.

👁‍🗨 Carter — Carter really doesn’t cry tbh, unless he’s like…. [redacted] if you know what i mean ;)

26. what type of person pisses them off?

🐅 Tanvir - people who are mean to his friends, transphobes, incels

🐮 Cory - people that are rude, people who litter, people who ask him “how’s the weather up there” because he doesn’t understand because the weather is the same

👁‍🗨 Carter - anyone that insults Circe, people who consistently ask him what’s under the helmet, people who are rude to horses

31. do they respond well to praise? how about criticism?

🐅 Tanvir - praise: he does a lot better with accepting it now than he used to! but he still gets kinda awkward about it and tries to brush it away. criticism: depends on who it’s coming from! if he cares about their opinion he can sometimes take it a little too hard, but if he doesn’t care about them… then he literally gives no shits

🐮 Cory - praise: oh it’s like crack to him. he blushes very easily and it makes him feel all warm and happy. criticism: he may die a little internally, but he really tries to use any feedback to improve himself and not make the same mistakes again!

👁‍🗨 Carter - praise: he doesn’t know what to do! he isn’t used to it!! he’s really awkward about it tbh, but with circe he just… completely melts. criticism: you know that picture of the stick figure without a face but you can feel the unimpressed exhaustion? that.

40. if you had to remake this character right now, how would you change them?’

this question is really difficult!!! im not really sure id change any of them like that, because i feel like they grow and change over time whether i like it or not lol but here are some thoughts:

🐅 Tanvir - he deserved to multi class bard i’m just gonna say it. he’s living his best life in some au’s i tell you what

🐮 Cory - lol tbh i would have rerolled his stats i think… i think maybe i rolled like, right above the cutoff or something? poor guy. but i’ll just have to get inventive with leveling up i suppose!

👁‍🗨 Carter - oh boy idk… i made him for a one shot (which was soooo fun) and im not sure if there was really anything i would want to change? id love to get to play him for another one shot tho, and figure him out more!

68. where’s their home?

🐅 Tanvir - he is from new haxon, on the coast of the xhorhasian empire, but he currently resides in rosohna, the capital

🐮 Cory - lil man is from bumblefuck nowhere and is honestly a little overwhelmed at his big fancy college strixhaven! but he’s getting more comfortable now that he has friends :)

👁‍🗨 Carter - the only home he’s ever known is waterdeep, and the forsaken keep that he grew up in and continues to work for into adulthood

thanks for the ask! <3

[swarmkeepers]

happy sleepover saturday sola!! hope u had a good day :) for the dnd asks: 10, 12, 18 and for all your characters 26 & 27 !!

i did have a good day ty leo!! right back atcha i hope u've had a lovely one <3

10 - How do you come up with characters?

usually world (eg. where do i want them to come from, what’s a part of this world i want to explore?) > class/subclass > vibes > backstory > other parts of build

so thi was “i want to play an ashari bc arlowe’s mentioned there’s something up with them in ehas” > ashari are nature-y vibes, let’s go ranger or druid > swarmkeeper sounds cool > warforged full of bees > their dad found and built her, why they’re leaving the wastemarsh, etc.

12 - What’s your favorite part of playing DND?

not to be cliche, but hanging out with my friends and spiralling about stories told for an audience of six people.

18 - Do you prep for sessions?

YES!

way before session - for ehas, i usually post my notes from last session (i take notes on paper, then type them up as a gdoc and share to our discord) which helps refresh what’s going on. i also have an ongoing to-do list of miscellaneous things - conversations i want to have, bits of dialogue, things my character is keeping in mind. tâm and ari in wandering isles had a BIG unrequited love confession/rejection moment and i had been planning some of those lines since pre-campaign. these are mostly 3am thoughts that i remember to write down.

right before session - does setup count as prep? open all my tabs (wikidot for class/subclass, character doc, character sheet, sometimes worldbuilding doc if my dm has one). make sure avrae has the current version of my character sheet and spells. if we’re in combat, i have a quick reference post-it that i usually write before session (eg. reminding me to add add 1d4 favored foe and 1d6 swarm damage to thi’s first hit, “you have bardic,” # of attacks). if i have a reaction ability, i liked having a piece of paper that says “no reaction/yes reaction” on either side that i turn over so i remember if i’ve used it. check which dice are rolling hot, get my notes out.

putting the character q’s under the cut bc this got long!

26 - What kind of music would they like? (answering the following for my campaign characters since they're more fleshed out <3)

tâm likes brian david gilbert's castle chase playlist, like upbeat genre-funky fantasy music. kima likes maritime folk/work songs (predictably; they're literally a pirate dockworker). thi likes ethereal-sounding irish trad with lots of improv/variations - if they could breathe they'd probably play the whistle or something. sum likes metal, because i think i'm funny.

27 - What three songs remind you of them?

answered for sum, so:

tâm - free - mother mother. featherstone - the paper kites. love you back - metric.

kima - bones in the ocean - the longest johns. fingers to the bone - brown bird. easy come, easy go - the decemberists.

thi - here i am - the crane wives. temple - thao. is there anyone out there - delta rae

and some single songs for oneshot characters:

miya (artillerist/arcane trickster pirate airship technologist) - the specialist - will savino

canto (rune knight tinkerer gnome) - we all lift together - keith hammer

nesse (arcane archer fantasy megafauna biologist) - misty forest - louie zong

cat (arcane archer trigger happy rabbitfolk) - bang - ajr

antimony (standoffish air genasi inquisitive) - transparent soul - willow

[bigolgay]

awwww i’m so glad to hear that, i really am! it means a lot! i’m just gonna say it again, as a little reminder, life can be a lot and i want this conversation to stay enjoyable for you, so late replies are totally fine!! :)

wellll…we’re not gonna talk about that haha, had a bit of a moment a few hours ago which is also the reason why i’m not following through on our new year’s resolution right now…sorry :// but i’m feeling okay now :) thank you hehe :)) haha yes! prime nap time! i love naps, i get up in the morning and can look forward to my little afternoon nap. also: have you ever thought about a nap date? i want to have a nap date! we meet up, get into our pjs, cuddle up together and nap :) i might fall in love straight away but i don’t care

oh no, please don’t! i started it! someone can be a cool person and still suck at teaching, and it doesn’t make you a bad person for feeling that way…that’s what i believe at least…and i mean…he must’ve known that his job included public speaking before he got into it haha

any way i can turn you into solid human form again? i think you won’t be able to face tomorrow as a liquid? ;) hmm but isn’t one month prior to the exams like way too late to start voicing concerns about some topics? they basically tell us to start studying in november…which i obviously didn’t do :)) you wouldn’t believe the fucked up stuff “educators” have said to my face before, so it wouldn’t really shock me if they told me i’m too stupid…but you know, that was when i was still in school and now i’m an adult at uni and they will probably treat me with more respect, so yeah…you’re probably right! i have a person in mind i could talk to, she doesn’t seem like the type to be rude, maybe i’ll have the courage to just ask her something after class and see what happens? thank you for saying what you said, you did not overstep and it wasn’t too long, it was exactly what i needed to hear to worry a bit less! it’s like you’re grabbing me by the shoulders and talking some sense into me, which i desperately need sometimes :))

nope, you can’t ;) mhm, you’re right! i think i need more people like you in my life, would you be open to cloning yourself and shipping your clone over to me? :))

i mean it can be scary if you actually fall, because you can like…badly injure yourself if you hit your head or something you know… and the moments leading up to it scare me a bit sometimes because your just not feeling well :// but yeah, i’d be very glad to have you there actually catching me haha, would’ve saved me from a lot of headaches :) an excuse to hold me? you know you don’t need an excuse right? ;) well, i don’t know about you, but i want to keep it right where it is ;) yes you, the sweetest!! i appreciate your take on the situation but i stand by what i said…you’re the sweetest!

should’ve just sent you a dm in my little moment of courage haha :‘) i don’t think i’ll ever be able to visit your blog again without imagining that little scenario in my head :)

i feel like a little calendar full of motivational quotes carefully curated just for you hehe :) oh stop it!!! now my heart is doing a thing again as well…you’re thinking way too highly of me <3

wow this got super long, but i felt like talking apparently, i hope you’re already asleep and that you’re gonna have a wonderful day tomorrow!!

My reply got deleted so we do this again💪

You’re so freaking sweet🥲like I’ve got toothache over how sweet you are. Thank you love, you’re always so patient and understanding. And of course, you don’t have to worry about late replies either, take as long as you need and want🫶🏼

Oh no, I’m sorry darling☹️how are you feeling now? Did you get some sleep? And don’t apologise angel😭you’re allllll good. Progress not perfection, remember? That applies to both of us. And plus, we’re aiming to improve our sleep schedules, we can still have nights where we’re up until early hours if we want/need to. I didn’t even know that was a thing… but now I know it is? Well, I’m gonna be thinking about it all the time🤣nap time + cuddles??? That’s perfection right there. I’d also fall in love instantly🤭

You didn’t start anything sweetheart, I just started tearing in this guy without actually knowing him lol🫣but yeah… I feel like public speaking kind of comes with the territory of being a teacher🤣

Nope. I’m only a liquid now. I am permanently melted by how lovely you are. Cannot be undone. Because you can’t simply stop being lovely. It’s impossible. Couldn’t if you tried. I will now go through my days as a liquid now🤣. Could you have started studying earlier? Sure. But the reality is you didn’t and I’m sure many others didn’t too. But it’s still not too close to the exams for you to not be able to do anything about it, you’ve given yourself some time to get on track. You might get a “you really should’ve started studying sooner/come to me sooner for help” but I *highly* doubt you’ll get a telling off or whatever. And the fact is, even if you they do tell you off (which they shouldn’t because you haven’t done anything wrong), although it’s not at all nice for you, their opinion of *you* doesn’t matter. They’re there to teach you and help you pass, you’ll finish uni and go on to whatever is next for you and they’ll be a flash in the pan of your life, a telling off or chastising because you didn’t study sooner is the worst that could happen and even after that, they’ll give you help. It’ll be… max 20 minutes of discomfort I reckon, and then you’ll leave and be in a better position and hopefully more confident in your abilities. It’ll suck but it’s necessary love🫶🏼. Some people shouldn’t be teachers. If they want to insult and belittle others then teaching is definitely not the job for them. Ridiculous. You’re not stupid at all, so get that out of your head immediately. You’re not stupid. And if anyone ever has said otherwise then fuck them. Good idea. And it doesn’t have to be a big thing, it can literally just be “I’m a bit concerned about how I’m doing and was wondering if you had any advice for me on how I can improve?”. You’re so brave sweetheart, I have full faith in you that you can do it❤️. I am here for you, and I will do my best to take some of the worry away and reassure you. Because you’re doing just fine, you’re doing great. I’m very proud of you🫶🏼

Now I dunno about that… I’ve always said that one of me is already far too many… but I suppose if I send my clone to you then that’s your problem and I don’t have to deal with it… so yeah if I figure out how to clone myself then I’ll send one your way😉

Oh that’s so scary☹️like… everything about it. The actual fainting is of course terrifying, but also the not feeling well?? Like feeling that somethings not right? So unnerving. I’m sorry sweetheart☹️. If I were there I’d keep you nice and safe and make sure you don’t get hurt🫶🏼. Well I know now… and I will definitely be taking advantage of that😉. I too want to keep it right there in that lovely brain of yours😉nuh uh, you’re sweeter. I dunno where you got the notion that I’m even a fraction as sweet as you, but it’s wrong😘

I’m just happy that your drunken courage made you message me at all, private or not, it’s nicer knowing you in some capacity than not (oh god… have I just outed myself as a total sap?). Hahaha I hope so🤣what a sight to behold… and to see that any time you pop over and see my blog? Lucky you😉🤣

Hehe they’re very good motivational quotes, I am honoured to receive them🫡. I think I think suitably high of you, you’re utterly delightful and I’m very lucky to have a sweet thing like you still here talking to me😉🫶🏼

I hope you’ve been having a good day so far, my dear!

[mellow-worlds]

older rants

I kind of want to feel the same way it felt that day my aunt and uncle wouldn't leave me alone and forced me to eat. I don't want that part, but before eating anything, I was probably as close to fainting as ever. I want to faint. Do I? Well, I want people to know I'm unwell. I suppose fainting would be very dramatic. But it would make my issue seem real. It honestly feels a little wring to be so whiny when in reality, nothing much has happened. I'm not being that whiny, but I'm pretending to be super anorexic or whatever, when I'm not. I just don't eat all that much and do intermittent fasting overkill but hahsjs ksjsjbshs I'm fine. I do still have some anorexic traits and thought patterns but that doesn't mean I am anorexic. I havent even been doing this for all that long, maybe 3 weeks?? And honestly, feeling weak is awful. But it'd be real? I just hope the pain doesn't come back. Anorexia is super painful. I hope it doesn't sneak behind my eyelids while I try to sleep and I hope it doesn't make me moan in pain.I'm so jealous of the people who are naturally skinny. I'm so jealous of K. I should eat healthily. Ofc I'm not losing weight if I only eat sugar. And I'll try to exercise at least a little. Hhh. I guess it's a start. And I eat so unhealthily, anything would be an improvement.

I think I have so many toxic traits because of my abysmal self esteem. For example my constant need for validation and attention and in the past my need of some sort of control and wanting to be seen as good and being marvelled at which never happened lmao. But then again, sometimes I do think I'm pretty smart? Evidence says otherwise but sometimes I do feel a little smart. And sometimes I think my face shape is pretty. So maybe my self esteem isn't as bad as I'm claiming it is? Maybe it's not to blame for me being a terrible person?Talking with P today was so nice. It was only short but very very nice. L was also there and we laughed a lot and gosh I like this man so much. I think I'll really just "keep trying". It's fine. We can be friends. Rn I'm not as willing anymore to kms because I talked to G at uni again and it was a lot of fun, but honestly...... yeah no. It's the right thing to do.

Anyway, P looks so good. :) I really do get obsessed too easily. Is it obsession though? I just write about him a lot, I don't necessarily think about him incessantly. He does look very good, especially with his glasses. Today in the lecture, our arms touched just a little bit. And he smells sooooo good. Even his tobacco smells nice somehow. But he also has this other scent that's just so nice. Idk I think I could gush about him for the rest of time. Maybe. I think he's awesome.I really, really enjoyed talking to him and L. And I hope to talk more with L in the future in general. And ofc I wish I never stopped talking to P. I wish he liked me. Istg I'm trying. I'm trying to be better and prettier. I wish I was good enough for like literally anything. I'm not really anything and not good enough yo be anything. I wish I was skinny so P could have half a reason to like me.I saw that there's scars on L's arm. They looked artificial, but also well healed and I couldn't really get a good look. I don't really know what to make of this. She doesn't seem like the type of person to hurt herself, she's too sweet. But I suppose I shouldn't try to deny it? And I guess that ultimately, it doesn't affect me. She seems really happy now, I don't think I have to be worried. Makes me wonder what people would think about my scars. Luckily, so far no one really seems to have noticed. Maybe this one girl from my old class. Or A and J. Definitely no one from uni :). Sucks enough that my sisters know. I also wonder how people will react when I kms. I suppose I also don't seem like the type of person to do so. Momentarily, I'm super happy. Yk, when I get to talk to friends. It turn to shit the minute I'm left to myself. And this morning, thinking about P, it really made me sad. He'll never like me. It's fine. Just sad. I shouldn't be sad about things i could expect. Still am. Oh well.

[ladyazulina]

I'm venting, so you can as well ignore all this and continue with your life

I know it's contradictory to say that you can ignore all this and have a few 'help me' tags, but no one is obliged to help, so if you are like me and get hurt inside because you know there's no way you can help—sadly—well, then... skip it. You're welcome.

I'm bad at this. I wanted to let some steam get out of me on a vent-and-support channel from a Discord server I'm in, but... when I started typing my venting and my frustrations, I just deleted all of it and didn't send a thing.

It's not hard for me to open up, but it's hard for me to vent with the sole purpose of venting, so...

I'm just so tired. I've been feeling so tired for as long as I can remember, and that can be as long as half my life. I "started" classes this week, going back to face-to-face after three years of virtuality because my university fucked up and I don't know what the hell they did with the oh-so-comfortable virtual sections. So I was forced to come back. I have a few reasons not to be ready:

I had my latest chiropodist appointment on July 31st and the injections they put in my bent ankle inflamed it and made it worse just existing with it. I have been having difficulties with my ankle since then and after a whole month of staying home and barely moving to let the ankle time to rest and heal (which it hasn't, it's still inflamed and hurting), I would have to get back out on a heavy effort to go to classes without feeling any better (I haven't come back with the chiropodist because the consultations go around US$180 and we have no money for it—not right now, barely when the time to go back is approaching).

I stopped using my glasses around a year ago because, uh, I still haven't been able to pay the US$135 that cost the last refinement and I got to the understanding that, as everything else, the optics market was, uh, a market and don't have my best interest at heart, no matter how good the dude attending me was, I would have continued refining my crystals years and about without really having the way to keep it up, so I just decided to stop using them and try some exercises of natural improvement, and though I'm still not seeing HD or near close to 20/20, I haven't felt the eyes exhaustion, or the stress, or whatever possible symptom related and instead I have been having all the muscles around the eyes immensely relaxed since I started with those exercises.

I've been hard of hearing since ten years ago. Six or seven years ago, headaches came to stay, making harder my lifestyle, but somehow it wasn't as bad before the tinnitus also came to stay around two or three years ago. It was manageable still because I didn't have a lot of reasons to go out, with the virtual classes. Two years ago, I was gifted with some hearing aids that weren't the ones I needed but, quoting them, "it was better something than nothing". It was not. I give them back maybe a month after starting using them. Last year, around February, someone got me the ones I did need and, after a year of using them, I didn't feel any improvement and I found out I was just getting more and more depressed, so I decided to stop using them. Anyway, one of the hearing aids was malfunctioning and I brought it to my audiologist to fix, but even when everything (my follow-up appointments and, supposedly, ANY fix) was covered, I still had to pay US$140 I didn't have for him to, according to him, "just fix it up and give it back, five minutes top". He had it for a month or so before I decided to stop using the hearing aids for good because even when he promised me another one in the meanwhile, he didn't give me any and I was already starting to feel the consequences of not having it. BESIDES that, though the hearing aids were keeping me in the same hearing wavelength for the whole year I was using them, I was feeling like crap and didn't want to stay there for the whole five years of the probable life of the aids.

I think all of that wraps things out somewhat well, even though those words don't tell you all the pain the voices inflict on me when I have a certain headache intensity or how I feel mentally slapped every time I go out and have to face the traffic or the street or the cars or a space where people are talking. It's just hard. Staying home is as hard. But being forced to go out because the university snatched my virtual classes was... a real hit.

I'm not sure how big my willpower to continue studying is, but I get really tired in my day-to-day. For the smallest things.

The days I got out, I came back barely feeling my feet, not knowing how bad I fucked up my ankle nor my head, not having anything to take to palliate that. I have tried a long variety of pills to help with my head without success. And, since a long time ago, I have been wishing to just go deaf. There is a lot of tiredness and feelings and situations and time that got me there and I won't be able to let you understand, but when I can't bear it a second more, I find myself again wishing to just go deaf.

I'm not even trying to improve my hearing at this time and moment. Right now, my intention is to get some noise cancelation headphones. I don't know much about them, but some friends recommended me this one, and again, we don't have the money (US$90) to get them. Even if we got the money, they don't send it to my country, so I would have to get someone to buy it for me in the US or another country where the store is AND then send it to me. My path right now is to find a way to reduce the headaches so my life gets more bearable, because I can't bear it anymore. I'm having more paralyzing headaches, less time to sort things out daily due to exhaustion. And that doesn't even say about the same daily situations I have to go against. It's just... too much.

Virtual classes are nowhere near better than face-to-face ones, they just help me to not face a lot of the countless things that I have to face just for putting a foot outside my house. I do like my university (not how it works, it totally sucks and is just making our lives harder), I like the campus, I have missed the intimacy and the contact that face-to-face classes give me with my classmates and possible future friends (and I'm kind of an antisocial, shy, restrained person). But everything is just... a piece of work. A fight. A battle. And I have been from years needing to carefully choose which battles I'm going to try to fight and which ones to just... let go.

I want to finish writing my books someday.

I want to make a technical career in sign language interpretation and translation (another thing the lack of money is keeping from me).

I don't even want to make a living when I would need to hear or talk with other people. What I want to do is proofread and edit and help authors polish their books, that's everything I'm wishing for.

And, well, everything is a pain. I myself don't like encountering those posts of people asking for help to pay for things because I myself can't help them not even with US$1, but I just thought that maybe it can be worth it, so, uh... I'm sorry, but I would really appreciate any help.

As an intent of summary, I need:

Noise-cancelling headphones (US$90).

To go back with the chiropodist and find out what's happening with my ankle before my next appointment on May 2024 (at least US$180).

To pay off for my last glasses (US$135).

And, well, to be honest, if I just get enough for the headphones, it will help my life to get a lot easier.

I just have PayPal, so, uh...

Thank you so much. And I'm very sorry as well.