#although he can still be reasonably interpreted as asexual

[maskydoolovesbaldursgate]

Canonically, Astarion isn't concerned with a partner's gender.

Let's all just be cool about seeing him paired with anyone.

[fizziepopangel]

A Surprise For You, My Dear

* Author’s note: In this story, I’m going to interpret Alastor’s asexuality and aromanticism as more fluid than it seems to be canonically. Also, this is my first fanfic so please keep that in mind if it's shit... That being said, I hope you enjoy!

P.s. If you enjoy this fic, you can always request more with the Fic Request Form

Alastor. The radio demon. Everyone knew the radio demon, and though he had been gone for quite a while, most still feared him upon his return, but not me. Because he was different from me. Softer, kinder, more genuine. It wasn’t a relationship, at least I didn’t think it was, but I still enjoyed my time with Alastor; the dancing, the laughter we both shared, every moment left me in awe of the man that had come to be feared by so many.

“You gonna answer me or not?” Husk snapped, pulling me from my thoughts. 

I tried to cover my embarrassment that struck me when I realized that I hadn’t been listening to the old bartender at all despite having been the one that came and started conversing with the man. I sat up a little straighter and looked over at the bar cat. “Sorry, I… my mind was somewhere else. What did you say?”

Husk rolled his eyes. “I’m goin’ out with Angel tonight but that damn pig of his is sick. I think the little shit got into my whiskey when Angel brought him down here last night. Angel wants to know if you’ll watch him.” He takes a long sip of whiskey in his glass. “So you up for it?”

Although I loved Fat Nuggets and would usually jump at the chance to spend time with the sweet little pig, I shook my head. “Sorry, I have plans with Alastor.” I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face. “Al said he has a surprise for me tonight…”

“Right.” Husk gives me an unimpressed look that seems to say something along the lines of fuck you without outright saying fuck you. “Your boyfriend and your date night.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” I say awkwardly. “I mean.. I don’t think so…I mean, I… I just… I like him but its, it’s…” I sigh deeply, a heat rising in my cheeks. “Shut up, Husk.”

 “Whatever.” Husk says in his usual empty sarcastic tone. “Guess Angel and me’ll just stay in with the pig tonight…” I watch as he turns, grabbing a glass and beginning to polish it with a rag that ironically  didn’t all that clean.

“Oh… sorry, Husk…” I mumble awkwardly, suddenly feeling a bit like a dick for essentially denying the couple a night out. I knew they both deserved it but I just couldn’t bring myself to say that I would cancel on Alastor when he made the night out seem so special. “I…” I trail off for a moment, feeling the other demon’s judging eyes despite his back still being turned to me as he continues to polish glasses on the shelf behind the bar. “I’m gonna go get ready to meet Alastor. I’ll see you later, and maybe I can take Fat Nuggets another time?”

I receive a grunt in reply, but as I get off my barstool, I hear the old demon grumble under his breath…. A simple warning. “Just… Be careful around Alastor, kid…. You been having a rough enough time without his bullshit” He says, not even sparing me a glance as the words left his lips. I promise him I will, knowing that he’s only looking out for me… Husk always told me that, or at least something along those lines…. But this time felt different; this time it sent a spear of anxiety through my chest and made my mind wander to what everyone in hell knew about Alastor versus the Alastor that I knew. The Alastor that I loved despite knowing he probably didn’t and would never feel the same about me… when I really thought about it, I did wonder why the man had taken such a liking to me. I wasn't indebted to him, I had no real power in hell or the hotel, and even I knew that no matter what version of Alastor was on display, he didn't keep people around without a reason. 

My thoughts continued to wander from one shitty thought to the next as I went up to my room to change for our little hang out. I was so lost in the whirlwind of thoughts when a knock at the door jolted me from where I sat in my room.

“Darling,” Alastor’s cheery, sing song voice. “Are you ready to go?”

Despite the fact that I had just been questioning my entire purpose in his life and why my companionship was so valued by him, I practically tripped over my own two feet trying to get to the door. “Al!” I beam the second I see him. “I thought we were supposed to meet up? What are you doing here?”

Sporting his signature smile, the usually detached demon waltzed into my room, grabbing me and spinning me around. “I thought we could make our way to our outing together, hmm?” He says as I giggle. “What do you say, my dear? May I escort you to the roof for your surprise?” Alastor’s smile faded into a warmer grin as he held out his hand in invitation, waiting for me to take it.

When I took his hand and let him lead me through the halls of the hotel toward the roof, it felt as if all at once the anxieties that had been gnawing away at my gut just melted away ... it was like butterflies just swarmed my insides.

“What is this big surprise, Al?" I giggle as he whisks me up to the roof, stopping just outside the door. 

“Now, I know that you've had a rough week, and that you've been absolutely dying to see that new horror film…” He said giddily. “And I've set something up that I think you'll enjoy very much.”

A frown crossed my face for a moment. I had mentioned wanting to see the horror movie that came out last weekend, and I had been pretty having a shitty week, but I wasn’t sure where Alastor was going with this surprise since he wouldn’t dare touch a tv that would stream the movie. “Yeah…?” I laugh lightly as we stand in front of the door. “What, did you find someone to go to the movies with or something?”

“Not quite.” I can actually heat the excitement in his voice as he opens the door and pulls me through it. “What do you think?”

“Alastor…” I breathe, looking around at the rooftop. There’s twinkle lights strung up all over and blankets and pillows and wine sitting and a basket of my favorite snacks all sitting beside a projector pointed at the wall beside the door. “This is…”

“Oh, but wait, there’s more!” Alastor said, his shadow hitting play on the projector. The beginning sequence of the movie I had been dying to see popping up.

My eyes lit up and despite myself, I launched myself into the radio demon’s arms, eliciting a small ‘oof’ from the man before I felt his arms snake around me. “Alastor, this is amazing! I love it!” I looked up at the man who everyone around me seemed so terrified of, the man my friends warned me to be careful around. “Did you really do this for me?”

“Why of course!” The man smiled down at me, pulling me a bit closer than he usually did before his head dipped just a bit lower and I felt him place a soft kiss on my forehead. “I would do anything to make you happy, my sweet little radio wave.” 

My heart stopped for just a moment before it began racing, hammering against my ribcage as the butterflies in my stomach went wild. “Al…” Before I could stop myself, I found my lips connecting with his and despite his usual aversion to touch and romance and anything that could even possibly lead to sex, he pulled me a bit closer. 

When he didn't pull away, it felt like electricity crackling in my veins. I felt like every star in the sky aligned perfectly as he held me. It felt perfect, it felt right. 

Radio static cracked in the air around us and Alastor’s face was just a light shade of red, no doubt mirroring my own embarrassment at what I had just done.

“Well then, “ Alastor cleared his throat, the static seeming to fade a bit as he straightened his jacket and held his hand out to me. "Shall we sit down and watch the movie?” I take his hand and nod wordlessly, afraid that I would ruin what was certainly a perfect moment if I uttered even a word or asked him to define our relationship.

Alastor showed me to my seat on the blanketed area he had set up, I immediately sank into the soft pillows and blankets, and smiled as he sat down beside me. The movie began to play and as the opening credits began to roll, I knew I should at least thank him for all of this since I knew it was a show of care he reserved for only those he loved on some level, but before I could form a coherent sentence, I felt it… His arm snaked around my waist and pulled me closer to his own body.

“I don’t think I could’ve made this anymore perfect if I tried, Al.” I sigh softly, resting my head against his chest and listening to the quiet, steady crackle of radio static that always seemed to emit from the demon. Although he set this movie night up for me, I’m not even watching the movie, but rather, just trying to soak up this moment before it slips away. “Thank you.”

Alastor chuckles, his hand gently coming to rest on my chin. My breath caught in my throat as he leaned in, our lips hovering just apart from one anothers. “I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself, my dear.” The static completely stops and his whisper tickles my lips as he catches them in another soft kiss.

The week had been shitty, but this… This was perfect.

Alastor Tag list : @writersonicfan91

[ae-azile]

In your latest Progression chapter I loved how Namphueng did the cake announcing her sexual identity. It was such great idea and now I wonder what other characters would make as the same cake? What are others sexualities/sexual identities? Do they identify somehow other than gay? Kinn and Chay are gays but what about others? Is Porsche bi or pan? What about Tankhun and Arm? Also Kim expressed somehow being genderfluid and he is definitely demisexual or grey asexual. I think it would be extremely interesting for all of them to have some kind of discussion like that.

Namphueng loved her cake too LOL. She was very proud of it. I spent a while thinking of how the cake would look. While I couldn't find a cake that described what I wanted her to do, I did look up some reference pics for inspiration. Here are several that kind of fit some aspects of the style!

If you mix the aspects of these cakes all together, you sort of get what Namphueng accomplished. Girl worked HARD. It was so important to her because:

1. She remembers her first love, or at least bits and pieces. She remembers loving her deeply. I think creating a cake so elaborate and more suited for a small wedding was her way of committing to her true self, along with finding the woman she loved and clearly still loves.

2. She may have struggled with being her true self or being open about her relationship first time around. She isn't doing it anymore because every bit of her autonomy and happiness was kept from her.

So, yes! In Progression, Namphueng very much identifies as a lesbian. As for the other characters, some are probably up for interpretation, but I guess this is how I view them (at least for this fic).

Kim: I also see him as demisexual or sex positive ace. I think he is enjoying sex with Chay. A LOT. But he can only come to enjoy sex if he is in love with and feels comfortable with the person he is sleeping with. Since he struggles with being so guarded, Chay is his first. I think his romantic orientation is likely panromantic, but his trauma and seeing so many people in his family get hurt/killed likely made him push the idea of romance away for a long time.

As for the potential for him being gender fluid, I don't think it is something he feels like he needs to find a label for, but wouldn't deny it if asked. I think he does certain things and presents himself in a way that feels right. He likely leans towards more masculine presentations, but likes light makeup on occasion, doesn't align with overt masculinity or societal expectations for men, etc. I think he also likes looking good for himself, and sometimes looking softer and slightly more feminine is something that appeals to him.

Overall, I believe he struggles with labels for multiple reasons. He doesn't like following traditional or strict expectations, nor is he great at communicating clearly (although he is getting a lot better). I think he also falls into this limbo in between labels, so he doesn't know what to make of it. He struggles with seeing himself as asexual (especially now) since he is having a very enjoyable sex life with Chay. He should probably should look into demisexual. I think it will be something that eventually comes up, even though he doesn't feel a NEED to find a label. However, an explanation and a sense of knowing he isn't the only one may help. 🙂

Porsche: I think he is probably pan, but could also be bi. Episode 8 showed him express minor anxiety over dating a guy, although I don't know if it was the emotional or physical aspect that worried him more. Regardless, I tend to categorize him a little more as pan since that tends to take a meaning of "experiences sexual attraction regardless of gender". However, I also see him as demiromantic.

Khun: Despite his and Kim's personalities being extremely different, I also see him as demisexual, panromantic. Part of his demisexuality likely stems from immense trauma since he needs to be with someone who understands him and he's comfortable with, but I don't think the gender of that person matters. In fics, I often mention him having a girlfriend prior to his kidnapping. I believe I did in this fic too. Now, he's very much in love with Arm. And like Kim, he also might be gender fluid, but doesn't over think it and just does what feels right.

Arm: He's a hard one, but he could be demisexual too, and he may lean towards homoromantic. That isn't to say he doesn't like to be seductive though. He takes his shirt off when drunk for a reason. However, I do think he was repressing a lot of desires until he became more comfortable with Khun. So yeah, maybe demisexual/homoromantic.

Pol: He says he's straight! But I also think he is a guy who needs and deserves a lot of love. I don't see him hooking up with just any woman or being in a FWB situation. He is probably heteroromantic, but does find a lot of satisfaction in platonic love too.

Vegas: gay, but demiromantic.

Pete: demisexual, biromantic

Macau: He's saying he's straight in this fic, but I don't see him sleeping around like his brother likely used to.

Kinn and Chay : gay and gay

Milan's sexual and romantic orientation will also become more clear in flashbacks as well.

Thank you for the ask! 🩵

[howlsofbloodhounds]

A common interpretation I’ve seen of Killer is that he’s really horny and goes to Lusttale/Lust’s brothel to get his sexual needs met.

A common reason people seem to think he’d do this is because they think he would use sex as an unhealthy coping mechanism.

I don’t really see Killer as horny, in fact, i think that Stage 2 has a very low sex drive and that he experiences a degree of asexuality due to not only his trauma, but his emotional numbness and extreme apathy.

And since Killer was Sans once, and I remember hearing that Toby Fox once said Sans would be too lazy for a relationship (that paired with the circumstances of his AT), I don’t doubt Killer is a virgin when Nightmare takes him from his AT.

I think he’d turn to sex as a very last resort, mostly because I think he’d struggle to understand why people would allow others to touch them like that. How they could trust them like that.

Maybe his curiosity peaks when he reads a book about how things like sex could have a positive effects of humans, monsters, and even souls. But he never actually considers it until his Boss sends him on a mission to Lusttale.

An AU of Toriel notices him and approaches him and Killer reacts instinctively to another monster approaching him. Squaring his shoulders, glaring, ready to snap at her to go away until she opens her mouth and flirts with him.

He’s suprised by this. The Toriel is pretty, and he recalls how he vaguely had a crush on his Toriel when he was Sans; so he cautiously flirts back.

They’re having a fun back and forth, but the mission pulls Killer away and he pushes the thought of that Toriel away until he’s back at the castle. And, well, now he’s curious.

He isn’t really sexually attracted to the Toriel, although she is beautiful, but what’s the harm in giving this a shot? He used to see something in Toriels, he used to feel something for them before. Maybe he can do it again.

He cannot do it again. He runs into that Toriel at Lusttale again a few weeks later, and this time they actually managed to get somewhere. Only as soon as they’re in a bedroom, already half way undressed, and Toriel’s calling him Sans and suddenly he isn’t there anymore.

Physically, he is. But not in any other way. The world slips, turning foggy and gray. Toriel’s voice sounds like Killer is hearing her from underwater, and he struggles to breathe. Her hands on him feel too hot and tight, and not in the good way.

Toriel notices the eyelight in his right socket and calls it beautiful, and Killer shuts down; his target soul going deathly still. He robotically goes through the motions, fumbling occasionally as Toriel has to guide him back to where she wants him to be. He doesn’t have the presence of mind to be embarrassed about it.

Toriel’s hand brushes against his soul—accidentally, accidentally, it was an accident—and suddenly a knife is at her throat before she can blink. Killer’s soul is spinning erratically, the goop gushing down his cheeks, and he shortcuts away before Toriel can do anything else.

He ends up in alleyway somewhere, struggling to calm down as his soul wobbles and warps on his chest. It can’t decide which Stage to go in, 1 or 3.

He can hear faint, panicking voices in the back of his head; but he takes a deep breathe and tries to ignore it. Tries to ignore Toriel’s voice mixed in there, and the ghostly presence at his side.

“Shouldn’t have done that, Sans.” Their voice says. “What a sick thing to do. You’ve killed versions of her countless times.”

Killer doesn’t respond, but now he knows he can’t go for Toriels. Maybe not even Grillbys.

He leaves a blue hyacinth at the steps of the bedroom door they were in, as an apology, and takes his leave without a goodbye.

He doesn’t go back to Lusttale for anything more than missions his Boss sends him on, and he tries his best to avoid Lust’s brothel. He heard rumors about how this Lust was protective of his workers, and well, Killer wasn’t interested in being involved with anyone from Lusttale.

But as time goes on, and the more it’s just him and the Boss, he finds himself getting more and more lonely. It feels like he’s going insane, living his life from mission to mission; becoming a blur in his mind as the weeks melded together.

He vaguely recalls having meetings with that flame headed Sans. He remembers feeling happy, and safe. It never lasts long, as it doesn’t take long for Nightmare to show up. Nothing is feeling real. Nothing at all.

His usual but equally unhealthy tricks to stay grounded aren’t working, and he finds himself in UnderLust. He isn’t sure what the difference between UnderLust and Lusttale is supposed to be, but so long as he doesn’t run into anymore Toriels he really doesn’t care by this point.

And maybe this is where he officially meets UnderLust Sans.

[pharrell-the-formation]

You know which month it is, so here are some headcanons.

Kirell - bi. So, story time. Kirell's biological father and his relationship with his wife had a lasting effect on their daughter and presented a bouquet of reasons why she could not sleep well at night. For a long time, because of this whole story, she is at least a little repelled by men. During the period of schooling, she discovers an interest in young ladies, and here everything goes pretty cool, she is beautiful, mysterious and many people like her (although she still cannot build normal relationships with anyone due to her job). And then she gets older, and prudence comes to replace the former hatred. The past is the past, but not all people need to be equated with the same brush. And having understood this, the girl discovers a deeply suppressed interest in the opposite sex and then comes pure: "Hilde, what is this, where did it come from??”

It seemed interesting to me because there is a kind of inversion of what happens or is shown in the media usually: she does not have problems with accepting her homosexual side, but there are those with a heterosexual one. And such situations are more than real - after browsing some websites, I came across more than one story from girls who were sure that they were lesbians, because they met good girls, and men - not especially. Finding yourself can be a rather laborious process.

Hilde is straight. A best straight ally pal you can have around.

Balaam is a trans man and an aggressive women lover. The game assures us that Balaam is part of Kirell and this can be interpreted in different ways. My interpretation is that the girl has a dissociative personality disorder (some other time I will talk about this in more detail), and Balaam is a secondary and deeply dependent, but still a separate personality. The personality of a man in Kirell's body, a woman's body. Therefore, a transgender, who finally got a chance to look the way he would like in the World of the Dead.

Argo - With a mystery man, everything is not easy, because he is able to experience falling in love, but has no interest in building relationships, not even because of his lifestyle, but in general. This phenomenon is called litromanticism.

Update: so, I no longer headcanon him as lithromantic. He is bi now, who prefers to avoid any kind of close relationships due to his job.

Philio is demisexual and straight. Excuse me, but his name literally means "platonic love" from Greek, it's a sin not to prescribe him asexuality. I prefer to perceive him as a demisexual, since this is closest to me personally, but I also like other options. In short, for Phil, building connections with people, communication, friendship with them are things that always come first.

Philip - does not want to hang labels on himself, perhaps because he himself has not decided who he is or does not like to talk about it. Who knows. During his life, he showed interest in both men and women.

Charon is an aromantic-asexual. The only love he currently has is love for his assistants, love for his job (sometimes) and love for his scooter. The role of the “Bartender” in Argo’s choice is nothing more than a little game for him.

Helpers - I'll add them here because I love them and I promote them in the fandom to the maximum, but I don't think it's right to assign any labels to them, since they are not people and are arranged differently. They have no interest in relationships and love in general, but this is a feature of their whole species where romantic relationships are absent as such, so yes.. now you know more.

As for the characters from AC, I can't say for sure yet, but maybe I'll decide later;)

[imaginationlandtrilogy]

🏳️‍🌈 kyle and/or stan if u will!!

Just now getting to this! Thank you <3 (a little long because apparently I can't have headcanons without giving an essay in reasoning)

send me a 🏳️‍🌈 and a character name and ill share my gender/sexuality headcanon for them

Kyle: There's no way Kyle is cishet. I refuse to believe it. Throughout the series, he's always been shown to be different from the others in his self presentation, his way of thinking... etc. I'm not going to look further for more episodes proving this, as this is just at the top of my head, but the two that come into my mind first are "South Park is Gay" (S7E8) where Kyle is shown as the only kid who's not metrosexual, the joke being an obvious satirical swap on how queer children are treated in school. I think people can choose to interpret this how they'd like, but given how much Kyle is shown to be different from others, I'd like to believe it's evident of some sort of deviation from a heteronormative world (although I would assume he's more comfortable with masculinity than not). The second is one I never see being brought up, "Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy" (S10E10) in only the women and Kyle being able to understand the immorality of Ike's situation. The episode was meant to convey the generalized thought process of men versus women, men constantly responding "nice" throughout the episode, while only women were able to see how wrong it is. Cartman, Kenny, and even Stan seemed impressed with Ike, while Kyle was the only boy concerned. This is proof of his thoughts deviating from the norm, and in this episode specifically tying into Kyle and gender interpretation.

That being said, I want to say that Kyle wouldn't align with either being a man or a woman - he would be somewhere in-between, or perhaps not there at all! Kyle is the type of person to take pride in his individuality (even if he does succumb to peer pressure at times) and stick to what he believes is true, so I see his gender identity being on its own, something like being agender. I myself am agender, so perhaps I'm projecting with my own relation to his personality, but I believe he wouldn't feel as if he'd even fit on the spectrum of gender, but not feeling like he has one at all - he's just Kyle! I'm answering more than I need to here, but I think... with Kyle, he feels more comfortable having a direct answer (black and white), so he'd flip-flop to different genders/sexualities so much until he found the right one! He's not content with just knowing he doesn't align with the heteronorm, he needs to know exactly what he feels, exactly what is defined... exactly who he is. I think he would just stick with he/him pronouns, as it's what he grew up with and what he's used to, so he doesn't mind it! He tried out they/them, but just couldn't vibe with it. So agender Kyle using he/him pronouns (who still prefers to appear masculine than anything else).

I'm projecting again. Asexual Kyle. I can just feel it. Kyle's always been one to focus on the emotional aspect of a relationship more than the physical, such as in "Butters' Bottom Bitch" (S13E9), when he emphasizes how important it is to make sure your first kiss is with someone special. It just can't be with anyone! Actually, with this, I want to attach the demisexual label to Kyle. He's definitely some branch of asexual, though. As for romantic attraction... I see Kyle as being gay. I don't know, just... the crush he had in the early seasons with Rebecca seemed like the type of crush that he only had because heteroromanticism is so engraved in society. I know that lots of people, myself included, have had crushes on the opposite sex as a child only to realize later that it was only because you felt like it was expected of you. You were only acting out what you learned in a heteronormative society. His later crushes when he developed more as a character, however... I do not believe he felt romantic attraction to either Nichole or Heidi. With Nichole, he showed no interest in her until he found out that she liked him. With Heidi, he didn't show interest in her until the girls told him he did. With both of these girls, he didn't just like them on his own - he had to have some event happen first, then he came to the conclusion that he liked them. It's kind of like what I said with Rebecca. (As for Leslie, I felt a lack of connection with the storyline, so unfortunately, I wouldn't feel confident discussing it - I'm leaving her out here.)

Stan: He/they. Remember how I said with Kyle that he would want to know exactly what his identity is because that's the type of person he is? Stan's the opposite. I think at first, Stan kind of has a little gender crisis ("The Cissy" [S18E3]), and, similarly to Kyle, he gets hung up over that, but instead of it being tied to identity, it's the emotional journey of that, if that makes sense. It's the fact that they're learning something new about themselves, finding a whole new part of their identity that they didn't know. Stan's desperate to find out who he is, really, and it takes a bit - it's a rough journey, but I think once they figure that out and feel comfortable and adjusted with this discovery, the label of "queer" would work out just fine. He was never able to figure out exactly what he was, but I think the emotional journey that they would've went on would make that okay. To Stan, it's not the idea of those labels, but the emotional journey of self-discovery. It may flip-flop at times, but I think Stan would like to use the label of "queer". Compared to Kyle, Stan's identity would be more important to him, more rooted in heart because that's just the type of person Stan is - he's very sentimental with things.

As for sexuality, Stan is bisexual. It just fits. I think Stan would have an easier time figuring out their bisexuality than gender. First came the gender, and that really did make it easier to come to terms with being bisexual. Again, it's the emotional journey that really helped things more than anything. And he would definitely be the type of person to wear little pride pins, like, a little bisexual flag on the cap to his work uniform or something. The idea of not being cisgender and straight would be uncomfortable at first, as I feel Stan would be afraid of what people thought of them, but over time, he really would come to love and be comfortable with who he is. A long journey, nevertheless, but there will be an end.

[hplonesomeart]

My Snatcher playlists! (not cannon snatcher, just my own interpretation of him)

Okay so uh…Snatcher’s music taste depends on his current mood/emotions. Although my interpretation of Snatcher is an INTJ, he’s still very emotionally driven. So I’ve sorted the songs I associate with him into separate categories so it doesn’t sound like constant emotional whiplash 😅

So essentially, “pick your poison” on which to listen to. Because there’s SO MANY SONGS I don’t think you can listen to all of them in one sitting ;)

Songs that make him feel confident + like a masculine smooth criminal lol (this is his default music taste btw):

-oh it’s you

-Feeling Good (Michael bublé version)

-Death of a Bachelor (Michael bublé)

-Dancing in the Moonlight *both versions work with him

-Cupid Shuffle *FOR WHATEVER REASON LOL

-Still feel alive (half alive)

-So caught up (the teskey brothers)

-Let’s groove tonight TikTok version

-My girl (The Temptations)

-Haunted heart (Christina Aguilera)

-k.k cruisin’ jazz band version

-5pm animal crossing new horizons

- still alive big band version (Portal song)

- Up to no good (the Hoosiers)

- Bad (Royal Deluxe)

- moves like jagger bardcore version *because my asexual brain prohibits him from listening to the original lol

- Rock it for me (Caravan Palace)

- Hip shop (deltarune)

- Treasure (Bruno Mars)

- Handclap (Fitz and the Tantrums)

His “f*** you Vanessa” playlist + edgy playlist :

-I want to break free (Queen)

-50 ways to say goodbye

-forget you (ceelo green)

-cold (maroon 5)

-don’t show up (dua lipa)

-can’t take me (bryan adams/the movie “spirit”)

-too close (Alex Clare)

-love song (Sara bareilles)

-Ghost (mystery skulls)

-War (Zach Callison)

-The Fine Print (The Stupendim)

-Bang! (AJR)

-Maneater (Daryl Hall & John Oates)

-Wonderland (Carvan Palace)

-cradles (sub urban)

-mind games (sickick)

-Kill the lights (set it off)

-everything black (Unlike Pluto)

-idfc (blackbear)

His depression playlist (WARNING…depressing is not an over exaggeration. Some of these songs dive into dark topics and others are very emotionally charged. Please avoid listing to these if you aren’t in the right mental space to handle songs discussing death and toxic/failed relationships):

-Evil Queen (Snøw)

-Buy the Stars (Marina and the Diamonds)

-Sadness runs though him (The Hoosiers)

-Fix it to break it (Clinton Kane)

-The Grave (Kate Vogel)

-The spookiest depression bop u’ve EVER heard (Rory Webley)

-Viva La Vida

-Rose colored boy (Paramore)

-Hard Times (Paramore)

-I was a fool (Tegan & Sara)

-Loose you to love me (Selena Gomez)

-I was human (English cover by Rachie)

-silhouette (owl city)

-hurt (Johnny Cash cover)

-happy pills

-Waves (mr probz) *NOT THE REMIX VERSION*

-Wake up (Eden)

-When you love someone (James TW)

-Wash The Hurt Away (Michael J Woodard)

-come and go (juice wrld)

-autoclave (the mountain goats)

Songs that don’t deeply resonate with him, but he likes listening to them anyway:

- Fast Car (Loving Caliber)

- ghost boy (Jacob Tillberg)

- Sad Creeper (Black Gryph0n & Baasik)

- Pompeii

- Renegades

- Mr Jones

- Goodbye mr a

- one of these nights (the eagles)

- Bittersweet (Big Head Todd)

-One Little Slip (Barenaked Ladies)

- Pain and misery (tesky brothers)

- Paris in the rain

- Honey lavender

- Human (Rag’n’Bone Man)

- Waterfall (Undertale)

- Credits song for my death (vivivivivi)

- No brainer (DJ Khalid)

- R&B smooth instrumental “Drunk Dial”

- Touch tone telephone (Lemon Demon)

- Cabinet Man (Lemon Demon)

- Harder, better, faster, stronger (Daft Punk)

- Starlight Brigade (TWRP)

[funnywormz]

unhinged gorn hc below the cut. you have been warned

ok so i see a lot of ppl referring to mccoy saying he "performed a c-section on a pregnant gorn" in star trek into darkness as something that conflicts deeply with the depiction of the gorn in snw. and although that is definitely true - the gorn in snw are different to the gorn in any other star trek media, and seem to reproduce asexually via spitting goop on things to infect them with gorn eggs, so a c-section on an actual gorn wouldn't make sense at all in the snw context - it got me thinking abt some stuff.

although the gorn are portrayed as vicious beasts as juveniles in snw, it's implied that they become more sophisticated as adults. after all, the adults are warp capable and have ships that are pretty evenly matched with starfleet constitution class vessels........ so they're definitely intelligent, at least as intelligent as humans, if not more so.

in tos, the gorn adults are highly intelligent and cunning. not only that, but the gorn were shown to be in the RIGHT. they were defending their territory from federation colonisation/invasion and in the end kirk realises that which is why he spares the gorn captain.

what i'm getting at here is that despite their violent tendencies as youngsters, i don't think the gorn are beyond redemption, even in snw. to be able to function as a society to the point where they're spacefaring and warp capable, they must be able to reason and cooperate with others.

however, if the gorn ARE redeemed to any degree, their reproduction poses a serious problem. so far in snw it seems like the gorn are obligate parasitoids and can ONLY reproduce via living inside a host and eventually killing it when they're "born". if the gorn come to have more of a sense of ethics and empathy for species outside of their own, that will directly conflict with their reproductive cycle. i don't think starfleet could expect the gorn to just stop reproducing, after all, that would basically be dooming the species and their culture to extinction, and preserving species and their cultures is a big part of starfleet's entire deal.

i think that snw has already (albeit unintentionally) hinted at a solution to this problem.

when hemmer was infected with gorn eggs and dying, the crew tried to persuade him out of killing himself by saying that they could remove/extract the gorn hatchlings before they were born. although you could interpret as them just bargaining bc they didn't want to lose their friend, hemmer responds by saying that MAYBE they could do that if they had more time, but they don't.

the implication here is that removing gorn from an infected person before they hatch IS possible, but just requires medical resources and time that the crew didn't have when hemmer was infected. but it's still POSSIBLE to remove gorn hatchlings. via surgery. and for the host to presumably survive the process.

exactly like getting a c-section. but instead of a human baby, it's little reptile chestburster thingies lol.

ig the eventual point i'm getting at is that maybe in the future if the federation forms a friendlier relationship with the gorn, perhaps the host + gorn relationship could become more consensual?

admittedly, having your stomach cut open after hosting a bunch of parasites still isn't exactly an appealing prospect, but i think if the gorn could find ways to compensate for the costs incurred by the hosts, there would surely be SOME starfleet weirdo out there willing to do it to help save their species. it would become more of a mutualism where the hosts get to live a cushy lifestyle and be pampered and given all the resources they could ask for, in return for carrying gorn young and undergoing the knife to remove them.

obv this concept still has a lot of holes in it, like for one, carrying gorn hatchlings would still be rlly dangerous for the host bc if they didn't get operated on in time they would die......... also the gorn hatchlings are so aggressive that they might kill everyone once they hatched anyways. my other thought was that the federation could help the gorn engineer artificial environments to mimic a host body which they could raise their young in without any ethical issues???

anyways this is a fucking weird and long post but ig tldr: maybe performing a c-section to deliver some baby gorn isn't such a far fetched idea after all

also i just rlly want to see a gorn redemption arc happen bc i think it would be sad if snw completely ignored the message of the tos gorn episode yknow ;___;

[thesuperiorlokiseries]

Hi im so freaking happy about this rewrite i just got a lil query um Loki is going to be Aesexual does that mean he doesnt care about sex or that he is against the idea of it or is even maybe disgusted by it ? im sorry if i coming across as ignorant ?/ rude i most defiently not against loki being aesexua but just kinda want to know what it means for loki to be aesexual as idk in my own head i guess i always thought of loki o f being willing to sleep with almost anyone nd am lil confused thnku rw

No, Loki is not going to be asexual in the rewrite; he's going to be bisexual and aromantic. This makes him allosexual aromantic, or alloaro for short.

Asexual and aromantic are sometimes confused with each other, but while asexual means not experiencing sexual attraction, aromantic means not experiencing romantic attraction. They are not the same.

To answer your questions, here's a broad overview of several things:

Asexual people (as well as people of other sexualities, for that matter) can be sex-favorable (like sexual activities or the idea of it), sex-indifferent (don't have strong opinions on having sex or the idea thereof/are indifferent/don't care) or sex-repulsed (find taking part in sexual activities or even the idea of it undesirable/repulsive). Note here that this is an oversimplification of all three terms. Rewrite Loki is likely sex-favorable.

Being asexual is a sexual orientation and has nothing to do with one's views on the acceptability of the sexual activities of other people. For that, the terms are sex-positive or sex-negative, wherein (to oversimplify) sex-positivity is essentially the belief that all sexual activities between two or more fully-consenting adults are acceptable, whereas sex-negativity is the belief opposite to that. Sex negative people may believe that sex is only acceptable after marriage, between a man and a woman, be anti-sex work, and so on. Sex-favorability or sex-repulsion has nothing to do with sex-positivity or sex-negativity, and people who are sex-repulsed may be staunchly sex-positive. Rewrite Loki is obviously not sex-negative.

Action is not the same as attraction. Being asexual does not mean being a celibate. Asexual people don't experience attraction, but that doesn't mean they cannot have had several sexual partners for other reasons. Likewise, aromantic people can have had multiple romantic partners. Loki is not asexual in this rewrite, but even if he was, there's still nothing stopping him from having slept with a lot of people.

People don't necessarily have to be asexual to be aromantic or vice versa, although there's plenty of people who are both aromantic and asexual (referred to as aroace). Alloromantic asexual people (alloace for short) experience romantic attraction but not sexual attraction. Allosexual aromantic people (alloaro for short), on the other hand, experience sexual attraction but not romantic attraction.

However, both 'asexual' as well as the 'aromantic' are identities as well as spectrums (ace-spec and aro-spec respectively, collectively known as aspec, a term which is also shared by autistic-spectrum people) which not only include people that don't experience attraction at all but also those who experience limited attraction, i.e. demi and grey people (as well as several other microlabels). Both spectrums are incredibly diverse meaning there's a lot of ground to cover to be fully inclusive of everyone within it, but if you want to know more, the split attraction model is a good place to start.

Loki being bisexual is canon in the series, and him being either bi, pan, or some other label under the multisexual category is canon in most other interpretations of him including the mythology. The rewrite's Variant Loki will be bisexual in accordance with this, although this may or may not hold true for other variants of him. Meaning yes, Loki is sexually attracted to men, women and nonbinary people (but not romantically attracted to anyone).

While him being aromantic is a headcanon we're adding from our side with no particularly solid canon basis, it's something many of us latched on to when he admitted thinking (romantic) love isn't real in episode three of the canon show. And when the series decided to shove the amatonormative bs that was canon sylki down our throats the very next episode, we decided to go along with our aro Loki headcanon both out of pure spite as well as out of a desire to have more arospec content in a fandom that heavily lacks it, because while aro rep in media is scarce as it is, it is also immensely scarce in fandom spaces, and since several writers of the rewrite happen to be arospec, we wanted to fill that void.

The fact that the aro flag is green and black and the alloaro flag is green and gold really doesn't help.

[trvgcdiv]

“CANON DIVERGENT”

Here is where Hera diverges from either established myth canon or popular interpretation, in chronological-ish order. These notes span the verses titanomachia through lady of the argos.

The cuckoo myth is not blog canon because reasons. I recognize its importance in myth canon, but it isn’t part of the story I wish to tell. Zeus and Hera’s first time was consensual as far as this blog goes. However, I do think it’s important to acknowledge that this myth does exist, so I may reference it from time to time. Apparently the version I’ve absorbed (re: cuckoo myth involving rape) is something that I can’t verify through primary myth sources. Cuckoo myth is still not something I take as hard facts though lmao In this case because Hera is proactive in her desire for Zeus in blog canon.

I do not agree with the interpretation that Hera was either meant to be or wanted to be a virgin goddess before she laid with Zeus. This is not at all canon to my interpretation. Hera is neither chaste nor asexual and would not have been drawn to this lifestyle.

Nonnus mentions Ares fighting in the Titan War, and I’ve decided to run with it. Hera conceives Ares during the course of the war and gives birth to him in Thrace; they return and rejoin the war efforts. Zeus is in a committed relationship with Metis at this time because I Felt Like It.

Hera’s fostering by Tethys and Okeanos takes place after the war—not during. Hera is an adult, but that’s OK: her main purpose is to become a bridge between the old gods and the new. Though she is in love with Zeus at this time, Hera is not chaste; she takes on other lovers. She is a serial monogamist.

Of course this is something I can be flexible with when writing with relevant characters.

She elopes with Imbrasos, the river god of the island of Samos. He is the first of three husbands, Zeus being her third and final spouse. This is not canon to panhellenic myths, but my way of combining pre-panhellenic Hera to panhellenic Hera.

Hera is Zeus’ cupbearer before their marriage. She is an advisor and one of his connections between the old gods and the new. Although they are not officially together, they do have affairs when Hera is single. She conceives and births Eileithyia while unmarried. I also have her fostering the Horai and the Kharities at the time; though the Horai are sometimes depicted as older than Hera, I have chosen to ignore that for timeline reasons.

Hera marries for a second time, this time to the river god Inakhos, one of three Argive rivers, for reasons similar to her marriage to Imbrasos. In this case, the marriage bears fruit: blog canon says that Hera is the birth mother of Argos Pantoptes and Io/Kallythia.

When Leto conceives and gives birth to Artemis & Apollon, Zeus is unmarried and Hera is married to Inakhos. Hera exacts vengeance on Leto because she boasts that her son will be superior to Ares. It is also a power play: Hera and Leto are goddesses with similar spheres of influence and both of them are likely candidates to be Zeus’ third wife. Though Hera is with Inakhos at the time, she is still as in love and obsessed with Zeus (the feeling is mutual). By forcing Leto to roam during labor, Hera is showing her dominance and superiority—as well as establishing herself as Zeus’ only future consort.

TBC.

[theunsinkablesappho]

Thoughts on Eivor and Soma

So having finished Grantebridgescire for the second time... some thoughts.

Notes In Advance: I do not ship Eivor/Soma, although I am 0% opposed to the ship (when it comes to sapphic ships, I am down with just about ANY combination). I can absolutely understand where the ship comes from, and I will happily support the shippers when they get to sailing, I’m just stuck, and probably always will be, in Randvi’s camp.

So my thoughts...

While collecting screencaps I’ve been noticing the way Eivor looks at Soma and it is with such a frank and unguarded sense of... almost awe, right from the second she meets her. I think, whether you ship them or not, Eivor looks at Soma and sees everything she believes a Jarl should be. Soma puts her people above EVERYTHING, and Eivor is fairly obvious in her admiration of that. Like, I think to Eivor, the sun shines out Soma’s ass - whether you see that as romantic or not. Like, no wonder Birna’s in love with her rofl. Even from a platonic point of view, I think Eivor’s a little in love with Soma.

And I think a fair chunk of Eivor’s character development throughout the game comes from Soma - not necessarily a majority or anything, but a portion bigger than zero, definitely. As we watch Eivor evolve as the de facto leader of Ravensthorpe, I see influences of Soma there. And Soma talks about how she has poured her heart into Grantebridge (I personally interpret this as a very subtle hint that Soma may be aromantic/asexual/onthatspectrum. It’s not that she isn’t in love with or attracted to Birna, it’s that she isn’t attracted to/in love with anyone - she is in love with Grantebridge.) Especially after getting that snippet of dialogue with Styrbjorn after I returned briefly to Rygjafylke, I think Eivor takes that as inspiration and runs with it. When she can’t pour herself into Sigurd because he’s gone, or for other reasons (spoilers, I won’t discuss), she CAN pour herself into Ravensthorpe.

I would argue that endgame LeaderEivor acts more like Soma than like anyone else. I think this is part of why she takes Randvi to Grantebridge. It’s kind of a slightly childish “I’m gonna take the most awesome person I know to meet the OTHER most awesome person I know” impulse. She wants her friends to be friends. I think she also just genuinely likes going to Grantebridge.

Eivor looks at Soma and sees #LifeGoals, and I think in the very beginning she doesn’t even realize it yet. (I do still firmly believe that Eivor is extremely intuitive with the emotions of others and yet has like half a brain cell when it comes to her own, much to Valka’s constant irritation.)

(Only tangentially related to Soma, but I also feel like, despite canon not giving us a ton of fodder for this, that Eivor ends up becoming quite close to Birna. While she can bond with Soma over her leadership aspirations, she can bond with Birna over their shared sense of unrequited love.)

Basically, Soma and Eivor remind me a little of my BroTP with @kaosafro (NOW YOU HAVE TO READ IT HAHAHAHA) because they just vibe so deeply and so fast with one another. 

[dahlia-coccinea]

I reread Patsy Stoneman’s essay, “Catherine Earnshaw's Journey to Her Home among the Dead: Fresh Thoughts on Wuthering Heights and 'Epipsychidion,” and my feelings towards it pretty similar to how I feel about J. Hillis Miller’s essays. I enjoyed reading it but I don’t agree with 85% of it. I haven’t reread any of Miller’s takes (since there are a plethora of metaphysical interpretations it would be so repetitive) and that probably allows for me to still appreciate his essays as much as I do...I think rereading Stoneman’s essay was a bad idea because reading it a second time made it much less enjoyable and I read it much more critically.

There are a lot of similarities between the metaphysical and Romantic love narratives, and they also share a lot of the same failings. They tend to be very selective about what scenes are analyzed and they aren’t put into a larger context, and they tend to be the most poetic scenes. Typically these arguments cannot place the meaning of the 2nd generation into the context of the novel either. I’ve already said quite a bit about the metaphysical arguments, so I’m going to try and discuss just the points in this specific essay. Sorry parts may be a little repetitive because critics often bring up the same quotes and ideas again and again. And this will be very long.

First, Stoneman identifies that there are two popular theories about Catherine and Heathcliff’s relationship: “One is the myth of star-crossed lovers, who are cheated of marriage by social forces,” and then the metaphysical argument which, “presents Catherine and Heathcliff’s love as of a kind which is in itself incapable of social consummation.” She then volunteers a third option that is based on concepts of free love and/or “twin love” that can found in Romantic literature.

It is interesting, but I’m pretty sure Catherine also thinks she betrayed her own heart? She does tell Nelly she knows in her heart and soul she shouldn’t marry Edgar, and on her deathbed, she says “If I’ve done wrong, I’m dying for it.” I know some take it to mean she thinks that she didn’t do what was wrong to her, but she does add “You left me too” so I think she does agree with Heathcliff that she, in a way, left him. 

There is ample room in the novel to compare Heathcliff and Edgar as there are few similarities between them. The society in which they live is violent and hierarchical and that never seems to be questioned by any character - I think that is an important backdrop and allows for commentary on class, race, and gender. I don’t think this particularly has to do with how we view exclusive relationships. And based on the reasons Catherine gives for why she would marry one and not the other, I think Catherine understands she is limited by this society. Her reasons for marrying Edgar are all very practical.

Instead of any fulfillment, from the start, Nelly says Catherine struggled and had an “objection to her two friends meeting at all.” Catherine is aware they dislike each other from the start and this makes things more difficult for her as Hindley wants her to marry Edgar, Heathcliff is more and more remote, and the two of them are stuck suffering Hindley’s cruelty. Nelly even says during this time, “I’ve had many a laugh at her perplexities and untold troubles, which she vainly strove to hide from my mockery.” If what Stoneman says is true she would have to be beyond naive, if not utterly foolish, to think that a relationship with both Edgar and Heathcliff would be desirable for spiritual fulfillment after Heathcliff’s treatment at the Grange, or his throwing applesauce on Edgar (which this scene brings her to tears and she blames Edgar for Heathcliff’s resulting punishment). 

Stoneman does attempt to reconcile the Catherine confiding in Nelly that she knows in her heart and soul she is wrong to accept Linton’s proposal - she says this statement is negated by her insistence of never being parted from Heathcliff and that therefore means her love for him must simply be different and Romantic, rather than romantic/marriage-oriented. I’ve written a lot about this already but so I’ll just say that is pretty selective of the whole conversation with Nelly. 

Stoneman says, that from this scene and how we see Catherine greet Heathcliff this shows, “No sense of tragic irony seems to enter into her consciousness, nor any foreboding of difficulties.”? Seems to be a bit of an overstatement when you consider that Edgar’s proposal brings Catherine to tears because she feels she isn’t meant to be with him. She doesn’t excitedly tell Nelly that she loves them both, and she doesn’t seem very optimistic when she says Edgar, “must shake off his antipathy, and tolerate him, at least.” While idealistic in thinking Edgar would help Heathcliff she is still pragmatic in understanding how few options she has. She fears Heathcliff listening to this conversation and will be hurt by this, or him finding out how much she loves him. Is her "delirious” joy upon Heathcliff’s return really a sign of her lack of conformity and utter loss at understanding their jealously? Or is it more likely because she thought he might be dead for those three years? She also tirelessly spends the next 3 months balancing Heathcliff’s dislike of Edgar (which I believe also spurs her to continue concealing her feelings towards him), Edgar’s jealously, and a new fun problem: Isabella’s infatuation with Heathcliff. 

I won’t go into too much detail in this because it’s so similar to the metaphysical argument, but Stoneman notes that in Shelley’s ‘Epipsychidion’ there isn’t just the concept of free love but of “twin love” between 2 of the 3 person triangle, so it assumes that Catherine/Heathcliff could more platonic or at least asexual. 

In this interpretation Catherine “revises the traditional masculinity” of the “Romantic lover:” 

“Shelly’s experiment depended on women’s readiness to be generous and co-operative, and Catherine’s similar plan founders on the combative notion of masculinity endorsed by our culture. Attempting to ‘divide’ her love between men who seem to her too different to be rivals, she finds them transformed into the ‘chained friend’ and ‘jealous foe’ of convention.”

I don’t agree with the idea that Catherine sees them as too different to be rivals? She does compare them which casts them as two men vying for the position of her husband. Also, she based her decision to marry one and not the other on socioeconomic advantage, not who she loves more, or how they differ as people and might give her different kinds of love, although she points out her changing/more superficial and limited love for Edgar compared to the love she has for Heathcliff which are like the “eternal rocks beneath.”

Her love for Edgar is full of stipulations - she would “only pity him—hate him, perhaps, if he were ugly, and a clown.” Heathcliff’s degraded state does nothing to change her love, which is why I say her love for them is unequal. I honestly think saying she loves them equally yet differently, or that she is totally unaware of their jealousies is so preposterous based on the text, I don’t understand how so many critics, that have written extensively on the book all parrot it? Yet Stoneman continues to assert Catherine is “innocent” and “baffled” by their jealously. With almost everything she says about Catherine I find myself thinking, “well yes, but no?” For example, with this idea: 

“Catherine’s apparent self-destruction has to be seen, not as willful egotism, but as a despairing response to her two lovers’ failure to love her enough to share her attention”

I do think this is mostly true. It is not willful egotism, and she is upset that they can’t tolerate each other - but Catherine’s illness is a long-running problem that is closely associated with her relationship with Heathcliff and his absence that began after he first runs away. Through the next three years, she says she “endured very, very bitter misery.” I’d say it has nothing to do with her feelings towards Edgar who she has been making herself distant during this whole time while telling Heathcliff (in spirit since he isn’t actually in the room): “If I dare you now, will you venture? If you do, I’ll keep you.”

Again I do somewhat agree with Stoneman’s interpretation of Catherine telling Heathcliff, “you and Edgar have broken my heart,” which Stoneman says, “can only be explained if we accept that while Catherine still relates to both her lovers, Edgar and Heathcliff have broken her heart by defining love as exclusive.” I think they do break her heart by their selfishness over her, and I think she never intends to hurt either of them. She has at different times suffered to protect one or the other. But this still doesn’t change her stronger, unconditional, yet socially unacceptable and thwarted love for Heathcliff. Her issue isn’t the loss of Edgar, they broke her heart by both behaving in a way that cast Heathcliff from her company. Divorce was not really an option for her - the most dysfunctional couple in the novel, Heathcliff and Isabella, never legally separate even. So why wouldn’t she try to keep the peace between them to be near Heathcliff? The Romantic love interpretation is difficult to reconcile with her rejection of Edgar which happens on a few occasions and most apparent when she tells him, “What you touch at present you may have; but my soul will be on that hill top before you lay hands on me again. I don’t want you, Edgar: I’m past wanting you. Return to your books. I’m glad you possess a consolation, for all you had in me is gone.” 

As the essay went on I felt it got weaker. Stoneman says Catherine’s haunting of Heathcliff must be read as an “appeal against his failures of generosity.” Not because she wishes she was never parted from him, as Catherine herself said? Catherine doesn’t seem to die with any animosity towards Heathcliff - she forgives him for leaving her, asks for forgiveness, and tells him, “You never harmed me in your life.” 

**** EDIT *** I just meant that he goal isn’t to punish Heathcliff, since before her death she makes it clear she doesn’t want to parted from him. I do prefer the theory that she she haunts him in part to call him off his revenge and harming those she loves and to bring him back to her. I don’t think her ghost is static or simply a “reward” for Heathcliff despite all the wrong he did. I think she does become “incomparably above and beyond” them all and remains a force as she was in her life. Or she could be not a ghost at all and he encounters with could be proof of Heathcliff’s madness and later becomes a simple old folktale and superstition. (I’ll admit I like to view the ghosts are real and I think there number of references to them by other characters do suggest that we are meant to read them that way). ***

After Catherine’s death, Stoneman says, “There is, after all, something in the haunting which the usual readings of the novel fail to explain. If the ghost of Catherine wails to be let in, and Heathcliff begs her to return, what is it that keeps them apart?” I think we’d have to all agree that what Lockwood saw was actually a ghost, and I have seen this interpreted a million times? Stoneman says it is Heathcliff’s own “implacable obsession with revenge, which effectively shuts her out of his consciousness.” Which I could agree if we are reading it assuming the ghosts are real...but then she says that Heathcliff reaches his heaven only as he abandons his revenge against Edgar and “at last he ‘comprehends in his person’ the preposterous simultaneity of her loves.” This made no sense to me. I don’t see any reason for thinking he begins to accept Catherine’s love for Edgar, which he kind of already had? He tells Nelly that he doesn’t physically hurt him for that reason, he just also believes she loves him more. And I would say he does defeat Edgar and Hindley? Just because he can’t also destroy Hareton and Cathy II doesn’t negate that in his lifetime he outlives his enemies and has control of everything and everyone at Wuthering Heights and Thrushcross Grange (which he never shows signs of regretting his actions). It might not have gone as far as he originally planned, but I would say he does sort of win. And his abandonment of revenge isn’t ever associated with Edgar? Heathcliff does give some insight to what causes him to lose interest in his plot, an aspect of it being the connection to Hareton. In a discussion between him and Nelly he tells her she may think he’s insane “if I try to describe the thousand forms of past associations and ideas he (Hareton) awakens or embodies.” It is because of this intense association with him that he says, “his society is no benefit; rather an aggravation of the constant torment I suffer: and it partly contributes to render me regardless how he and his cousin go on together. I can give them no attention any more.” I believe the last time Heathcliff mentions Edgar is right after his death and he tells Nelly that, “I wish he’d been soldered in lead,” and goes on to describe yet another plot against Edgar by having his and Catherine’s graves opened on the side nearest each other so that they don’t have any barriers between them and then, "by the time Linton gets to us he’ll not know which is which!” So the idea he softens towards Edgar or becomes more willing to share Catherine in any way is...improbable to me. 

The theory also suffers (like so many others), in ignoring the ending when forming the narrative. Stoneman mentions the three graves and says that the people seeing Heathcliff and Catherine’s ghosts are basically country folk who are inclined to sympathize with “Heathcliff's final possession of his 'woman’” and also most readers fall into these same “hegemonic constructions” by not considering that the "the sleepers in that quiet earth” are at peace together. I agree with @princesssarisa that it doesn’t quite fit into the fact that many of the people that see the ghosts didn’t support or even know of Heathcliff and Catherine’s relationship - the young shepherd boy doesn’t seem to know who Catherine even is. To also say that the reader is projecting their desired ending doesn’t feel right because the ending is something that Heathcliff and Catherine have been foreshadowing through the whole book. Catherine says, “I’ll not lie there by myself: they may bury me twelve feet deep, and throw the church down over me, but I won’t rest till you are with me. I never will!” She doesn’t refer to Edgar, who she says can be buried anywhere, it doesn’t matter to her (poor Edgar). She also tells Heathcliff, “I shall not be at peace,” and “I only wish us never to be parted,” as well as other similar quotes implying that she will be waiting for Heathcliff to come to her. I don’t like the view that Catherine is so lacking agency in her relationship with Heathcliff either - I’ve never thought that he “possesses” her. She’s the one who makes the demand that he leave the world behind and join her - the end does seem to be him finally following her, as she says he always does. 

And then, what of Cathy and Hareton? How do we reconcile the narrative with the features of the second generation? It would seem, if we assume Catherine has a differing yet equal love of the two men, and wished for a relationship where they can be peaceful together, and then the only scene we have of them together is in their graves, it feels pessimistic. Our one Shelleyan model is dead and buried with two people incapable of overcoming their jealousies and possessiveness. When considering the ending with Hareton and Cathy, would we have to conclude this a cautionary tale of Catherine’s naivety? Stoneman does make almost this suggestion and says it could also be because Emily had watched Branwell and Charlotte get hurt by love married people, so it could be showing what tragedy befalls if love is selfish and possessive. Though there is nothing to suggest that Hareton and Cathy love isn’t any of those things? 

I must be terribly boring because I think the easiest way of describing Catherine and Heathcliff is that they are, “star-crossed lovers, who are cheated of marriage by social forces.” Obviously, that is simplistic and glosses over their more spiritual aspects and certainly, they are not how the 1939 film interpreted them, which Stoneman rightly says, “recasts the novel in class terms as 'the story of the stable-boy and the lady’” - but I still think its closer than saying they are models of Freudian psychology, siblings, celestial beings, or Shelleyan. There certainly is spirituality and complexities in their love, and throughout the plot, as well as other characters, but it is still very much possible to read too deeply into double meanings and what is left unsaid.

My end take - some lyricism of Epipsychidion is echoed in quotations from Catherine and I would have much preferred to compare and contrast the two works rather than the attempt to shoehorn the rest of the story into a similar narrative. I think if you made a comparison to just the part after Heathcliff returns, a really interesting and strong argument could be made about how Catherine does try to create a similar relationship as described in Shelley’s work. I don’t think the situation was ever her ideal, but she certainly has no desire to be cunning or vampish - that’s not in her nature, and her relationship with Heathcliff doesn’t necessitate them having sex. She does try to put into practice a semi-Romantic love triangle but I don’t think she harbors any delusions of Edgar’s and Heathcliff’s animosity. Rather than a bohemian approach, it is her forcefulness and controlling that keep them both at bay. Tellingly she tells Nelly, “I believe I might kill him (Edgar), and he wouldn’t wish to retaliate.” She feels confident in her sway over him to get what she wants and she wants to be able to continue her relationship with Heathcliff in any way she can. It’s not necessary to revise and add new narratives to situations in the novel that are clearly able to be discerned from the text - such as Heathcliff’s failing desire for revenge or people seeing their ghosts at the end. I don’t think Epipsychidion is a terribly good lens to read Catherine through as her love can also be jealous, selfish, and possessive. There are too many aspects of Catherine’s character that conflict with the ideas Epipsychidion expresses.

[just-ornstein]

Capp siblings, Tybalt, Juliette & Hermia ❤️💔🌈🔮🌷🍕

Ahhh my children! <3 Thank you for this ask!

Tybalt Capp: ❤️: OTP Mercutio/Tybalt... I mean is that even a surprise? Besides the enemies to friends to lovers trophe that I absolutely adore, reading Shakespeare, the play "Tybalt and Mercutio are Dead", watching the movies and their Sims bios/memories, I felt like both may have way more in common than they might think! Both the black sheep of their family, ton of responsibilities placed on their shoulders from a young age and in reality both simply want to be told that they're doing a good job. I think that once they'd put their Monty/Capp status aside and have a genuine conversation they'd quickly come to realize they're not that different at all!

💔: No OTP Honestly, I'm not too big on Tybalt with anyone but Mercutio (even though Puck/Tybalt can be kinda cute). However, I cannot for the life of me imagine Tybalt in a straight relationship, even makes me mildly uncomfortable because I so strongly headcanon him as gay. To anyone that does like him as straight, totally cool, more fun to you! In the end everyone plays Sims differently and as long as you're having fun that's all that matters. :D I just cannot imagine Tybalt as Straight myself haha.

🌈: Sexuality Ohhh, this dude is gay, very, very gay. He didn't realize for the longest time, just thinking he hadn't found the right girl yet, until well... He got to know Mercutio properly and he was shot with Cupid's arrow. A lot of frustration piled up that he didn't even realize had to do with the fact he was developing feelings for someone.

🔮: Something Random With some Occult ancestry on his father's side he may have more magic running in the family than he might think. ;) He's also amazing at fencing, something that was taught to him from an early age on and often used for self-defense... And sometimes simply to show-off. Cares a great deal about his family as well, like his sisters are his everything. A secondary Family Sim for sure!

🌷: Flowers or Plants They Like Tybalt has a lot of internal turmoil but he has some fond memories of picking flowers with his mom as a child. Forget-Me-Not was a common flower to be found and sometimes he still likes to be near them to be reminded of his mom. Amaryllis is also a flower he loves, planted in the Veronaville gardens his mom would sometimes pick a few pretty ones to put on his room. They represent pride and self-confidence. The name meaning 'to sparkle' because Cordelia loved seeing her son blossom into the young and loving person he was turning out to be. Sadly when she died his self-confidence went down the drain and he became way more agressive about trying to keep up that pride. These flowers are some he does keep on his room, or pick out when he sees them blooming in the garden to bring to his parents grave. Lastly Wolfbane also known as Aconitum. A beautiful purple flower often associated with Occults. This one I picked for him because I feel like that while they are beautiful, these flowers are often associated with a warning sign, to remain cautious. But even misantrophy and death. The colour purple is also associated with magic, richness and royalty (and all 3 of these flowers have pinkish-purple colours, or at least variations that have it). The reason why I picked these in particular? Well... It will later on become more apparent as the story progresses. ;)

🍕: Pizza Topping Onions, pepperoni and extra cheese!

Juliette Capp: ❤️: OTP I don't really have an OTP for her, but I do like her with Romeo and while I'm actually pairing Romeo with someone else for the first time. They're still a pairing that I think is cute and could definitely work on the long run. But they need to remain open and honest with each other. I don't interpret Romeo being a Romance Sim as him being unfaithful, but rather that he cares a great deal about romance, loves affection and may, be polygamous. Once they talk everything out I think they would literally die for each other, I mean hey, they're Romeo and Juliette! They'd be the type of super cutesy couple you'd see on the street, sharing ice cream, laughing, etc.

💔: No OTP I don't think I have a pairing for Juliette that I genuinely dislike. At least I haven't ran across anything that made me go: Ehhhh.

🌈: Sexuality As Straight as a pole! She might be bi-curious, but I think she would lean way more to men. She's also asexual!

🔮: Something Random Is actually very good at writing poetry and keeps several collections in her room, she would likely send them to Romeo or read them for him. And Romeo? Has kept every single one she's written for him in a specially assigned book in his room. He keeps them very close to him as they're very special. Juliette also probably doesn't even want to be the Heiress, but it appears she doesn't have much of a choice. She was raised to carry on the name, something she had been prepared for since birth. But she doesn't dare bring it up, most of it is probably placed in underlying insecurities. If she had someone she could talk to she would probably feel way more confident in her role.

🌷: Flowers or Plants They Like Sunflowers! Their brightness and colours just bring so much happiness to her and if it came to her she would probably have grown them in the garden of their mansion as well. Sunflowers also stand for faithfulness, loyalty and adoration, something which in my opinion greatly represents Juliette who's probably of the most supportive people you can have in your friend group.

🍕: Pizza Topping Tomatoes, cheese, olives, onions and mozzarella! If she's feeling especially daring green peppers on top of it as well.

Hermia Capp: ❤️: OTP Hermia/Puck or Hermia/Puck/Romeo! I wasn't too sure on Hermia/Puck at first until a friend of mine really managed to sell me on the idea. They're soulmates, very much meant to be together, loving to share knowledge with each other, tarots, fortune telling, magic, etc. They also love each other for everything that they are, even the flaws, trusting each other with everything. I cannot really say why I love Hermia/Puck/Romeo yet as it would be a major story spoiler, but I do think Hermia and Romeo have way more in common than one might think as well. c:

💔: No OTP Hermia/Mercutio, I simply cannot see it happening. While I think she may have held feeling towards him, they weren't deeply rooted and in the end Puck had always been her first love. Mercutio does eventually understand and move on from it as well. They remain close friends.

🌈: Sexuality She's bi and falls for someones personality. While she can develop crushes easily, she only falls in love deeply after developing a deep and emotional bond with someone.

🔮: Something Random Hermia is a trans woman, something she knew very early on. Her family and friends have been nothing but supportive! Hermia, despite what her interests may reflect is actually fascinated by magic, occults, sci-fi, etc. Similarly to Tybalt she's got magical ancestory and if stimulated it's very likely she might become one of the most powerful Witches the world has ever seen. She's always been interested in nature and Puck's fairy ancestory and likely would want to become a part of that world in the future as well.

🌷: Flowers or Plants They Like Unlike her siblings Hermia is moreso a succulent type of person. Being into magic and dating Puck she's started making herself more familiar with them, as well as herbs and spices, to try and get into making medicines and potions. Succulents are also way easier to take care off than flowers which can decay rather easily. If she had to pick a flower she'd like (although she would mostly use it for her hair or decorations) it would be a Sea Holly, which despite their prickly and torny exterior have beautifully dark colours, which is also great to be used in medicines.

🍕: Pizza Topping Mozzarella pizzas are her favourites, she also likes herbs on top of it for some additional flavours.

[queerhannibal]

As someone who never considered sex as an eventuality in Hannibal and didn't think Hannibal and Will's relationship is sexual, are we supposed to be alienated ? Because I am seeing that and also hostility and bullying, this was supposed to be prosex vs no-sex ? Please don't give a diplomatic answer and I understand the show inside out. I feel hurt, I am not ace.

I don’t think anyone intended for anyone else to feel alienated—I know I certainly have never said anything with the intention of alienating anyone, and to be frank I’m pretty shocked at how much this has blown up bc I’ve had the exact same opinion this whole time and have stated it many times before without it “alienating” people. I was unprepared for how big a deal this cast reunion had been built up to be in people’s minds. I don’t really care if people see the show differently than I do

The thing that I and many other fans found upsetting about what Bryan said was not the fact that he implied they wouldn’t have sex inherently (although he didn’t outright say they would never have sex) but that he implied that the fans had been arbitrarily sexualizing hannigram when it was HIM who spent the last five years on twitter tweeting sexual comments about them and wore a T-shirt with art of them kissing and stated that they were canonically queer for each other.

I fail to understand how a person can in good faith see people feeling betrayed by a comment like that and tell them they’re being sex-obsessed, but that’s what’s been happening. Naturally the people who very reasonably read “they’re going to have a sexual relationship” into “they’re canonically queer for each other” are not very happy with the people who are like “well I never assumed they were going to fuck, I don’t see what you guys are so upset about, get your minds out of the gutter”

Especially since the vast majority of the people who somehow failed to see the eroticism the show intentionally put into the hannigram relationship are homophobic. I won’t say they all are because some people are just inclined to read symbolism differently, but a lot of them are. And a lot of people don’t seem to understand or care about the fact that saying “I think their love is too deep and pure to be sexual” about a mlm couple is implying that there’s something dirty and/or impure about (gay) sex and is therefore inherently homophobic

Saying “they’re in love” as opposed to “they love each other” implies that they want to have a romantic relationship with each other. We also know for a fact that they both voluntarily have casual sex. Why would they not have sex with each other?? What makes you feel that’s a bad and wrong thing to suggest if not homophobia???? I am genuinely asking, because I can think of no other answer.

It’s fun and nice to headcanon them as sex-negative aces but they canonically are not, even if one or both of them is asexual. They like sex. Both of them have sex onscreen entirely of their own volition and seem to enjoy it. They are IN love, which in English specifically means they have romantic feelings for each other. Why would they not have sex????

That doesn’t mean I want people who don’t prefer to dwell on that aspect of their relationship to feel alienated. I don’t want anyone to feel alienated. My opinions are my opinions, and when we’re talking about a fictional TV show, I have no desire to push someone away just because they disagree with me. One of my favorite things about this fandom up to this point has been how well people who disagree on some points can still get along on others, and how there can be civil discussion of different interpretations. I don’t want to see that era end, especially not over some comments made during a casual cast reunion

[hetaestoniahq]

I think they’d have some common interests and Estonia would push Iceland out of his shell a bit. The historical ties are cool too! Also, ace solidarity? Yes please! I also really like EstBela for some reason? Not sure why but I think their "opposite personalities but somehow found some interests to bond over" dynamic would be interesting to play around with. I used to ship EstNor pretty heavily back in the day but not nearly as much as I used to though I still think it's cute! 2/3

|| AAAAAAAA I Goofed up accidentally deleted the first part of your ask I'm so sorry -! I didn't even get to properly read it through but I do recall mentions of DenEst and then about the name thing.

DenEst is something I've seen floating around, it's quite interesting. Present day relations from what I know aren't anything phenomenal, but they do have history together with eachother. Although even Hetalia has interpreted as Denmark having been a bully, with Denmark invading him when he already was busy with crusaders (though he stared invading even before that) before properly claiming the islands and Northern Estonia as his, pushing him down during St. George's night, only to just sell off the main land part to the Teutonic Order and eventually when Sweden was knocking on his door wanting all of Estonia, our Danish boy just gave the islands.

One thing to note is the Battle of Lindanise in which there is an entire legend about how the Danish flag appeared and such, so hey Denmark's flag that remains the same to this day has history with Estonia.

When Estonia became independent Denmark did recognize it and start relations, when he regained his independence he was one of the first ones to reestablish diplomatic relations.

Also Denmark was the first to ratify The Treaty of Accession 2003 which was apparently what Estonia and many other countries joined the EU with?

With EstIce YESSS, I personally like to headcanon that Estonia is kinda still questioning his sexuality, but he doesn't even realize that he leans a bit to the asexual spectrum. He just - can't find himself interested in t h a t stuff, he just be like "????"

Also a small note I will add for those that know me - yes I did personally headcannonly age Estonia up a bit but for the ship the same could just be done for Iceland too

Estbela is a ship I've heard about and am quite intrigued by, there is a bit of a Belarusians population that lives here so I guess that's something?

EstNor is quite intriguing to hear about, ya know Olaf the Holy, not yet the King of Norway back then, once came to Saaremaa (an Island of Estonia) and demanded some things? The Osilians basically went "No." gathered up their armies and they fought, Norway won. Which I find a little unique actually because from the Viking battles I've been able to hear - Estonia was actually giving a pretty good fight most of the time.

Oh BOYY you don't need to headcannon that Sweden and Estonia fought because they DID so MUCH!

Sweden was like the main Viking Estonia interacted with, even apparently at the battle of Bråvalla, Estonia did apparently fight on Sweden's side when fighting against Denmark who had Livonians and Wends of Pomerania on his side. More on the sidelines though.

And oh boy, should I even mention the countless battles between Swedes and Osilians in Saaremaa?

Osilians or Oeselians are what Saarlased used to be called back in the day, basically a subvision of Estonians, but still very much so Estonians, they lived on the island of Saaremaa where Vikings would often show up. Osilians are sometimes even considered to have been the Estonian Viking, although some have called them pirates instead. There are so many battles that have happened that I would have to make an entire seperate post about them, or you can just look it up by googling about Osilians. From the battles talked about though, it seems like Estonia was quite the threat tho, kicking Sweden's ass quite a few times.

One very notable thing between these two during those times is - although the Viking age was basically coming to an end, in 1187, Estonia chose to Pillage Sigtuna, quite an important town back then in Sweden. One source even stated that he held the town hostage for like 3 days or so. Like. Wow. Estonia damn -

I actually kind off wanna know now when Sweden was a chibi just to have an answer on if they have basically just always known eachother hahah. Childhood rivals?

Also! Before even the Swedish empire, when Estonia had already been invaded and lost his general freedom, being under the soon-to-be-known-as Baltic Germans, around 13th century and 15th century, Swedish settlers just started to come in and inhabit the west and north coasts of Estonia, often known as Coastal Swedes (Rannarootslased). I can even recall one place named Noarootsi specifically being named after the Swedes and how they built a place there.

With the idea of Estonia being Angy at Sweden for taking like the only one who didn't cause issues with him is quite interesting to think about, it's hard to explain though but I haven't actually been able to pinpoint when Estonia and Finland would necessarily have met and started relations? There isn't much mention of him in the history I've read which makes stuff pretty difficult. (Although Swedish settlers did apparently come from Finland because by then they were basically owned by Finland) but just the fact that Finland is a Finnic would likely be enough to make the Estonia who's personality I've thought lot about when he was young to just go like "HEY! Give him back!!" i mean, I can always end up headcannoning and adding some bit of history between them that wouldn't affect Estonia's general history but bring ideas on the relations between Estonia and Finland and when it actually started.

And yeah! Estonia would absolutely learn to see how Sweden is pretty nice! When Estonia joined the Swedish empire, lots of changes happened. You see, back then Estonians were kept as slaves or lowly farmer peasants by the Baltic German nobles, by then if I recall right - full on slavery wasn't actually really present in Sweden anymore, ith farmers and such being independent, so Sweden slowly tried to do the same for Estonia without causing issues with the Baltic Germans who wouldn't approve. I don't know what it's called in English, but in Estonia Sweden did this thing called Suur Reduktsioon, in basically which Sweden looked at the nobles and went "Those manors? That land that belongs to you and only to you? Give them to me, they belong to the country now. " Manors that existed before Sweden came over were unfortunately unaffected though, but a good number still got taken. These manors were turned over to be land you rent, the farmers counted as apart of the rent so you had to rent them, which actually kind off like gave more value to the estonians than they were ever considered before. Some estonians got to be owned by manors which belonged to Sweden, and it's noted how it was almost like they were able to be free. There were rules set in Sweden's manors to not overwork the farmers, and punishments that they were allowed to do got limited.

Even the phrase "Vana hea Rootsi aeg" would float around when Russia came over, because things got significantly worse the and Estonia started to really miss Sweden.

There's even a mention that the whole Suur Reduktsioon and just the rules and stuff Sweden set kind off ticked the noble Baltic Germans off because they began to think they're losing power, so when Russia wanted to invade and take over, they sided with Russia thinking they'll immediately get more power back once Sweden is out.

I had to make an entire presentation about Swedish Estonia for school once hahah

Although I will mention how Sweden initially had to give the nobles all sorts of privileges to get them initially on his side, which was pretty essential considering how many countries were fighting over him at the time.

I nearly forgot to mention! Sweden also played a massive role in actually giving Estonians education! This is around when actually books written in Estonian started to pop up because Sweden allowed Estonia to start developing the grammatical side of his language, the idea that Estonians should be taught to read started to spread and many schools were opened that are open to this day. One of the most important ones is University of Tartu, yeah, ya can thank Sweden for that. Overall the cities/towns all Estonians known today started to really develop back then as well.

This is also scratching a tiny bit of the surface with some things - I will also briefly mention how Sweden volunteered and helped Estonia during Estonia's war of independence (Finland did too, with twice the amount of volunteers, but still, every volunteer counted at that time.) Which just - the fact that they volunteered is something that hits for me, Sweden and Finland genuienly wanted to help him.

For awhile a significant Swedish population was present in Estonia, but in WWII a huge majority of them ran back to Sweden and never really came back, so it's pretty small now.

And then the Soviet times, so many Estonians would escape by sea in who knows what crappy boats and such, and head to Sweden.

Also people forget that Sweden played a role in making Skype to HAHAHAH don't only blame Estonia!! Besides at least it brought a start to video calling and messaging apps

Sweden and Estonia might not be cultularly similar, but the amount of History they have is quite wild.

I actually genuienly hope to see more of those two in Hetalia, maybe not ship it but at least see how they could absolutely be considered close as well.

I honestly wanna now find a name for like a possible trio of Finland, Sweden and Estonia hahah. If ya got any ideas send em in! ||

[mythologyfolklore]

101 Greek Mythology head-canons that have little to nothing to do with the “canon”

(These headcanons merely involve my own interpretation of G.M. and the way it’s depicted in my story. It’s okay, if you don’t like them, but please do refrain from nagging into my ears about it, because these are headcanons!)

1. Ares is both Zeus’ oldest and his only legitimate son (Hephaistos is Hera’s son alone, so he doesn’t count). Sometimes he rubs it into his half-siblings’ faces out of spite. The only ones excluded are the Horai (Eunomia, Dike and Eirene) and Athena, because they're (kind of) older and have been born (or conceived) in wedlock.

2. Ares and Zeus have kind of a parental love-hate relationship. Because ... well, it’s Zeus.

3. Athena has a bitter rivalry with both Ares and Poseidon going on. But they do get along sometimes.

4. The Kronides (Hestia, Hades, Demeter, Poseidon, Hera and Zeus) have a feeling of reverence towards Athena’s mother Metis. It’s one of the reasons why she’s Zeus’ favourite child.

5. I went with Hesiod’s Theogony on their family tree, so Aphrodite is the sole daughter of the sky Ouranos (or more specifically of his privy parts). That makes her the half-sister of the Titanes and aunt to the 1st-generation-Olympians. Thus she’s the oldest member of the Olympian Twelve (the Dodekatheoi).

6. Aphrodite dresses in pink or red most of the time, but her favourite colour is actually blue. Only Ares, Hephaistos and Athena know this.

7. Every time a god/dess is born, the Moirai (the Fates) and the Protogenoi (primordial gods) come to attend the birth, determine their later life and tasks and grant them the powers required. Most of the Protogenoi typically attend births invisibly, so that only Zeus, Hades and Hekatê can see them.

8. Hera and Zeus have a cold love for each other. They’re still married, because he needs a queen and no one else wants to be. And Hera can watch over the family better this way.

9. Hera is in retirement from being a jealous psycho wife. Now she just gives hell to Zeus, as annoying him is fun, if you can get away with it. Nowadays she’s a bitch for other reasons.

10. Poseidon isn’t the wisest of the three brothers, but he often mediates between Hades and Zeus, when things get bad between them. Over time he has gotten really good at it.

11. The Olympians have three collective no-goes: violation of the laws of hospitality, family murder and cannibalism. For obvious reasons.

12. Hephaistos, Ares and Aphrodite have long moved on from the golden net incident. Hephaistos has divorced Aphrodite and remarried. The three have a platonic affection for each other and joke about the shipwreck that’s Hephaistos’ and Aphrodite’s failed marriage.

13. Aphrodite is secretly a badass. She also has a more of her father in her than anyone could imagine. She keeps it from everyone, because she’s too afraid of what Zeus might do, if he finds out. The only ones who have a hunch are Hephaistos, Ares and Athena.

14. Ares was actually supposed to become a god of vegetation and fertility, when he was born. But no thanks to a curse from Gaia, he got bound to become a god of war instead. He does have green fingers though and secretly likes gardening.

15. Aphrodite had no serious relationship with any other than Ares, but Adonis came pretty close. Ares killed the poor guy out of jealousy, which obviously made Aphrodite upset.

16. Metis still exists. She lives on inside Zeus’ subconsciousness and has born the prophesied son that is destined to surpass Zeus. But they can’t get out, because Zeus placed a seal on his mind, after Athena broke out of his head.

17. Demeter wasn’t actually upset about Persephone marrying Hades. She was angry that it happened without her consent; she’s Persephone’s mother after all. But since things have been cleared up, she gets along with Hades comparatively well.

18. If you make Hestia, Hebe or Harmonia upset, the Olympians will collectively hunt you down and fuck you up.

19. The Greek pantheon is in contact with other panthea. Zeus does most of the international politics.

20. Dionysos once wanted to make it rain wine during Athena’s birthday party. But he messed up the spell and it rained pineapples instead.

21. Ares is possessed by a demon. To be specific by Polemos, the personification and spirit of war itself. It’s one of the reasons why he’s so crazy, but he has learned to deal with it. To him, Polemos is mostly that annoying voice in his head. He can allow the Daimon to take over, but rarely does, because he doesn’t want anyone to know about him and because he fears, that Polemos might harm his loved ones.

22. Hephaistos likes to set people’s hair on fire, if they piss him off.

23. Hermes is a kleptomaniac. Nobody likes this.

24. Ares and Demeter had a one-night-stand once. Their offspring was two serpentine dragons and a warrior, because that’s how hardcore they are. Ares loved his monster babies and was very upset, when they got killed.

25. Hades and Persephone have one of the most functional marriages in the pantheon. Persephone is the boss.

26. Ares’ daughter Harmonia is the only goddess, who has given up her immortality for a mortal husband. She was cursed by Hephaistos, who wanted to get back at Aphrodite, and lived a miserable life, before she and her husband were turned into snakes (in my version it was Ares, who transformed them both). They were sent to the Elysion after finally passing on. Hades allows Ares and Aphrodite to visit their daughter from time to time.

27. Despite being brash and loud, Ares is one of the few gods, who actually get along with Hades. He earned a few points with the King of the Underworld by getting along famously with Kerberos and by increasing his number of subjects more quickly.

28. Artemis is asexual, but in a romantic relationship with Eileithyia, the goddess of childbirth and oldest daughter of Hera. Hera only tolerates it for Elileithyia’s sake, as she and Artemis really dislike each other.

29. Apollon used to have a one-sided crush on his twin. It was nothing sexual (he takes her virginity very seriously), but more than brotherly. Artemis knows and was really freaked out at first, but forgave him after learning, that he didn’t want to get creepy. When Zeus found out, he helped him to get rid of that love, and his affection for Artemis returned to being healthy brotherly love.

30. Hermes and Dionysos once tried to prank Hephaistos. His wife Aglaia caught them. They never tried again afterwards.

31. Zeus' mental state alone can affect the atmosphere and weather. If he’s calm or composed, so is the weather. If he’s furious, it’s like a hurricane, even if he tries to keep his temper - the weather just gives away, what he’s feeling. Zeus finds this really damn annoying.

32. Zeus, Poseidon and Hades didn’t draw lots to get their domains. They didn’t even choose them. Their domains chose them.

33. The Protogenoi, aka the Primordials, are to the gods, what the gods are to the humans, although the gods don’t worship the Protogenoi. However, the gods respect some more than others. Like the gods, each Protogenos has epithets given to them by the gods.

34. Each race of deities (Protogenoi, Titanes, gods, Daimones, Nymphai, etc.), has their own language. Only a few of the gods are fluent in all of them. Especially the language of the Protogenoi is often hard to decipher.

35. Aphrodite really hates her father Ouranos. Then again, everyone does.

36. Each one of the Olympians has their own mental issues.

37. Hephaistos was born with one deformed leg, but otherwise would have been able to walk. But after falling off Olympos, his left leg was hopelessly damaged and he needed a crutch. Then Zeus threw him off the mountain in a fit and he’s needed a wheelchair ever since, as crashing into an island has left him paraplegic.

38. Dionysos often gets called “baby of the family”, as he’s the youngest Olympian by far. It irritates him a lot.

39. Persephone wasn’t kidnapped. She went into the underworld by herself, because she was sick of everything and wanted to be alone. And as the underworld is really huge, Hades only found her months later by accident. She stayed with him for a while, they fell for each other and got impulse-married. But when Hermes showed up and explained what was going on in the upperworld, Hades decided, that she had to go back at least for a while. They had a dispute with Demeter and Zeus, arrangements were made, they got officially married and ever since then Persephone spent half the year up and half the year down-under.

40. As the goddess of spring, Persephone brings it wherever she goes. So when she leaves the upperworld, she brings spring to the underworld. However, as the queen of the dead, she also has the tendency of taking the influence of the underworld to wherever she goes in the upperworld. Persephone tans easily and is therefore very dark, when she goes down to the underworld. But the lack of sunlight in the underworld makes her grow pale quickly. Then she goes back up and the cycle starts again.

41. Persephone wears her hair short, because she liked it on Ares, when they first met. When she found out, that mortal women had the custom of shearing their hair as a sign of mourning, she was like: Huh ... what a coincidence. Demeter needed a while to get used to her new hair style.

42. Ares remembers the birthdays of all of his (half-)siblings, even those he hates. It’s one of the few nice things he does for them.

43. Aphrodite usually appears to someone as the type of person they find most desirable (x1000). That applies to mortals and used to apply to the Olympians too, until Athena asked her to choose a fixed shape for the gods, because she and the other virgin goddesses couldn’t see her. Aphrodite found this hilarious, but complied.

44. Hephaistos once grew a beard, hoping he’d would look less boyish and less like his mother Hera, but shaved it off again, because he was sick of it catching fire and sparks.

45. Out of all marriages in the Greek pantheon, Zeus’ and Hera’s marriage is only the third most dysfunctional; it’s surpassed by that of Kronos and Rheia and that of Ouranos and Gaia. Most other divine couples have more or less functional relationships.

46. At some point Aphrodite asked Ares to marry her, but he only knew the disaster that is his parents’ marriage and refused.

47. Poseidon has a tendency to make sexist jokes. Athena finds it really unfunny (so do the other goddesses, but they’re not subject of his bad jokes often, so they grin and bear it). Ares also takes offense at sexist jokes, which pleasantly surprised Athena and Artemis, when they found out.

48. Literally every member of the Olympians is LGBTQ+ in some way (even Ares; he’s heterosexual, but demiromantic).

49. Aphrodite loves pinching Hephaistos’ cheeks. He finds this really annoying, but tolerates it, because resistance is futile.

50. Hekatê is powerful and knowledgeable even for a Titan. The Protogenoi blessed her even before she was born. The premature blessing, plus her father being the Titan of destruction caused a mutation. Her eyes are not on her face, but she has several dozens of them magically floating around her head, like an ever-shifting halo. She also ages throughout the night (she’s a child in the evening and an old woman in the morning) and regresses during the day.

61. It doesn’t matter how much at odds the Olympians are, they will stand up for each other and stick together, when push comes to shove.

62. Apart from the 3 top tier taboos (violation of hospitality, cannibalism & family murder), each Olympian has at least one thing they would never do. Be it because they have suffered it first hand or just because they think it’s wrong and it’s below their standards.

63. Zeus is an early bird. The only others on Olympos are Apollon, Ares and Hermes. The others are either night owls or just constantly sleep-deprived/hungover.

64. Ares has a twin sister named Enyo. She’s been banished from Olympos after the Gigantomakhia for remaining neutral instead of supporting her kin. She’s crashing at his home in Thrace and mostly accompanies him into battle, together with Eris.

65. If Hephaistos was able to stand up, he’d be as tall as Artemis (she’s the third tallest goddess).

66. Hera couldn’t handle Ares, when he was a baby and asked Eris to be his nurse. Eris agreed and became his nurse under the fake identity of Thero. A few years later , he was kidnapped by Titanes at the age of seven. Hera gave him back to Eris to protect him, appointing the goddess of strife to be Ares’ guardian. When he was ten, he heard, that he had now a little sister (Eileithyia) and wanted to go back to Olympos. By that time the war was over, so Eris allowed it.

67. Eris sees the bonds between people as golden strings. She carries a sickle on herself. To damage a bond, she grazes it with the sickle, to destroy it completely, she cuts it. The stronger the string, the harder it is to cut.

68. The duty of Harmonia (Eris’ opposite) is to repair the bonds Eris has cut or damaged. She performs that duty even in Elysion.

69. Hera and Aphrodite have one thing in common: They both look like Japanese horror movie ghosts, before their morning coffee. Zeus and Ares both make sure that it’s ready, when they get up. Zeus because his wife creeps him out like that, Ares because he loves his girlfriend.

70. The Moirai, or the Fates, are daughters of Nyx. Klotho (Spinner) has a childlike appearance, Lakhesis (Alotter) is a matron and Atropos (Inevitable) is an old hag. Atropos is mute and speaks sign language, while her sisters translate what she says. Klotho is paraplegic and wheelchair-bound. Lakhesis is the caretaker of both. They’re usually incorruptible and pitiless in doing their duty, but sometimes a god manages to elicit a favour from them (for a price, of course). The thread of life of each living being is a glowing string coming from Klotho’s white hair. A mortal’s life thread is white, a semi-divine thread is silvery, a divine thread is golden.

71. Zeus never really cheated fate, when he absorbed Metis. He’s fully aware, that one day his reign will end and has everything planned out. He simply doesn’t want to step down just yet. Not even he can go against the Moirai and they never spared him his fate - they only accommodated him by giving him more time.

72. Only the Protogenoi have the power to really alter someone else’s fate, but it comes at a hefty price. For example, Gaia changed the fate of Ares, when she sealed Polemos inside of him and cursed him to become the destructive god of terrible war. This led to the child being captured and tortured by Kronos, who hoped to make the personification of war bend to his will (because he’s evil!). The irate Moirai retaliated by granting the original Olympians and their allies a devastating victory over Kronos and sentenced him and his allies to everlasting torment in Tartaros.

73. The Titanomakhia lasted for ten Olympian years, which by mortal standards is a century. By the time it began, Zeus was already married to Metis, so his siblings got to meet both of their saviors. But when he found out that she was pregnant, he panicked and absorbed her. Shortly after the war began, he married Thémis, the Titanis of divine justice and heavenly order, who had joined his side immediately. Together they had the Horai, but broke up, when she learned of Metis’ fate (i.e. Thémis got outta there, while she still could). Afterwards Zeus married Hera, so their first child Ares was born a few mortal decades before the end of the war.

74. Zeus and Hera are a complicated set of parents: one day they don’t give a crap about their children and the next day they would tear the universe apart to keep them save. The feeling is mutual.

75. Apollon isn’t actually that unlucky in love. His failed attempts at romance are just more well-known.

76. Ares is actually quite intelligent. The problem is, that he’s extremely emotional and volatile, has no impulse control and is really hostile as a result of his unpopularity and the things he has gone through.

77. The four virgin goddesses (Athena, Artemis, Hestia and Hekatê) are all asexual, but Athena and Artemis are demiromantic, while Hestia and Hekatê are aromantic.

78. Although Athena is demiromantic, she has never been in love as in she has never formed an emotional attachment other than Storge (familiar love) or Philia (deep friendship). She would, however be capable of Agape (unconditional, selfless love) or Pragma (enduring, grounded love). What she isn’t capable of is Eros (passionate, physical love), Ludus (playful love) and Mania (obsessive love).

88. The incident with Medusa getting raped by Poseidon inside Athena’s temple never happened. I went with the version in Hesiod’s Theogony: Medusa was a Gorgon from birth and together with her sisters a daughter of Phorkys and Keto, two ancient marine deities. She was the only mortal Gorgon, probably because of a mutation. Her affair with Poseidon was consensual. The rape account is a late one and comes from Ovid, a Roman writer, who wrote his Metamorphoses as a jab against the authorities (the Metamorphoses portrait all mortals as hapless victims and the gods as bigger dicks than the Greeks themselves saw their gods).

89. Most of the gods have lived for ten thousands of years. So even though to us it looks like they have one tryst after another, for them there can be centuries between each affair and the next. Of course, a century is almost nothing to them, but you get the idea.

90. The Olympians are very hypocritical. Nothing new here.

91. Hermes is closer to humans than all of the other Olympians. He is also the fondest of them.

92. Ares on the other hand is extremely misanthropic. Which is unsurprising, because he presides over the darker aspects of war and gets to see the worst side of humanity all the time. He considers it a kindness to make them kill each other.

93. Since Ares is Zeus’ only legitimate son and therefore his heir, he has to perform a lot of duties outside of his function as god of terrible war. The duty he hates most is going through his father’s mail, because nobody likes paper stuff. The upside is the confidential information he gets out of it. The other gods are unaware, how much he knows about his father or how much Zeus actually trusts his son with.

94. Zeus threatens his family to send them to Tartaros every time they piss him off too much. But he would never actually do it, because that would mean locking them up together with the defeated Titanes. And despite everything, he loves his family too much to do this and he hasn’t forgot, what they did to his son.

95. Though he has no qualms doing this with his demigod children, if they murder their sons and serve them to the gods for dinner (you know who I mean), or with trouble-makers, who kill their guests and capture Death itself, or people who harass his wife and children.

96. Aphrodite is fiercely protective of her boyfriend and children.

97. Once Aphrodite and Athena had a yelling contest. It was so terrifying, that the others (except for Zeus, who does this with Hera all the time) hid under the table and huddled together in fear. The two women only stopped screaming at each other, when Zeus told them to calm down.

98. Persephone and Hades have no children, mostly because she only likes children, if they’re dead (because they’re quiet). The only reason she agreed to raise Adonis together with Hades was that she doesn’t trust Aphrodite as far as she can throw her.

99. The scythe Demeter uses to reap her corn is the very same one Kronos used to castrate Ouranos. But the only thing that would prompt Demeter to use it as a weapon is, if her family was threatened (like in the Gigantomakhia).

100. Hera and Herakles buried their strife years before Herakles’ deification; when he helped the gods against the Gigantes and saved her from being assaulted by one of them. This is why she agreed to let him marry her daughter Hebe, after he became a god himself.

101. There is one deity the gods hold more sacred than all the others: Kháos, the Primordial Mist. Ze is the most hallowed of the Protogenoi, the Void that predates creation itself. Zir presence is felt in the invisible air we breathe and seen in the gloom of fog and mist. Ze is the atmosphere encircling the earth.