#am I calling it Aya vision??

[akumanoken]

you are all dirty enablers.... and I love you

[solunstell]

List of bsd headcanons

Dazai:

Has bpd. A lot of his traits remind me of my friends with it

He some kind of trans. Nonbinary. Transfem. Transmasc. Idk he's megender lmao

He's described as appearing very youthful in the first two light novels. I imagine that once the events of the main timeline start picking up though, with all the time stopping or slowing abilities that *dont affect him*, he actually ages faster than the other characters. I draw current dazai with small wrinkles, which also hints at stress and stuff

Also, I imagine current dazai getting tanner as he works in the light, as well as getting more prominent freckles.

Round/doe eyes because that is part of his appearance in my opinion. Seeming unsuspecting and innocent, especially during his mafia days

Bad eyesight in his right eye from being under the bandages for so long. Saw this headcanon and loved it

Similarly, beastzai has bad vision in general

I always call No Longer Human an anti-ability in my head, fun fact

He loves to touch other people. Not a fan of being touched by others unless asked

I draw him with red eyes in color, and usually black eyes in ink (inconsistent artstyle my beloved)

Aroace spectrum

heavy sleeper. Very

Chuuya

FRECKLES and tan from sheep days

He likes to be close to other people more than actually touching. Presence over contact

That shade of eyes that changes colors in the light (but I use a grey base lol)

Also some sort of trans, but in a different way than dazai

Brownish red hair. Not blazing, not just brown

That man is AUTISTIC

One time instinctively kicked a friend with his ability active, expecting them to dodge cuz he's used to dazai easily dodging. They did, but they were SO CLOSE to getting hit. Imagine a confused face like wtf why you try to kick me

Light sleeper, but every now and then sleeps like he just learned how to close his eyes

A lot of his jokes go over people's heads because they expect him to be serious and his voice just doesn't change between serious and not serious

Ranpo

Autism plus adhd ftw

Aroace spectrum

Poe

He/they vibes

Anxiety

Gay af

I can 100% see him being into knitting. Imagine the guide plus ranpo all in matching sweaters

Loves baking. Sooooo bad at it

Lucy

Bi (with a lean towards girlies) she/it

VERY good at baking

But she won't share :(

Atsushi

Anxiety, so much anxiety

Aroace spectrum vibes

Very easily idolizes people and then gets surprised when they actually like being around him

Akutagawa

Aroace spectrum

Autism cuz he is so mecore sometimes

Very trans vibes from me

(I like to imagine him having tourettes cuz I have tourettes and I am Not projecting)

Atsushi (special kitty hearing) and jouno being the only ones who can hear some of his tics. He will be horrified that anyone notices them

Wait no actually I'm gonna incorporate that into my belief system. That's canon now

Mori

Genuinely cares about a lot of his workers, but not all of them

He gives great bonuses for birthdays

He absolutely loves vtubers if bsd were in a modern setting. Rip mori. He'd have also loved vocaloid lmao

Ozaki

Masc energy. Fem energy. Ooh I can see ozaki with any pronouns and identity

Kinda person to accidently either overpack or underpack. Always has painkillers, never has a pen

Ridiculous memory. Incredible gift giver. Would get someone something months or years after overhearing them say they wanted something once

"Whyd you get me a hairdryer?"

"You said you needed one. I saw it and thought of you."

"...that was months ago. I got a hairdryer already."

"..." *takes hairdryer back* "sorry wrong person. I don't have my contacts in my bad"

She has perfect vision

Kunikida

Trans vibes. In any and every direction

Adhd af

Will always conveniently have room in his schedule when Aya wants to go do something and needs someone to go with her. No, he's TOTALLY not frantically writing and erasing things, get your glasses updated

You can usually count on him to continue the bit cuz he won't realize there is a bit occurring

[sevenboarproductions]

[IDOLiSH7] [Part 6] Chapter 5: Heart that believes, bonds that bind

6.5.1. - Dream

Young Musubi: Takanashi-senpai, Yaotome-senpai, what do you think is the greatest live?

Young Otoharu: Huh? The greatest live?

Young Sousuke: What is this about, all of a sudden?

Young Musubi: I have been thinking about it ever since I joined Tsukumo and saw all these lives from different artists.

Young Musubi: About what the greatest live would look like.

Young Sousuke: If we’re speaking in terms of attendants. The live with the biggest audience was a New Year’s Concert in the 1990s. Apparently, more than 3.5 million people attended.

Young Musubi: That’s amazing. What kind of huge venue did they use?

Young Sousuke: There’s no concert hall that three million people can fit into. So they did it at a beach.

Young Otoharu: At the beach? That’s nice. Do you think the “Summer Island Festival” that’s about to start will have this many attendees one day, too?

Young Sousuke: That would be a safety hazard, so there’s no way.

Young Otoharu: Do you think we can call Douglas Rootbank for it?

Young Sousuke: Douglas, huh…

Young Musubi: Takanashi-senpai, what would be the greatest live to you?

Young Otoharu: Maybe every live is the greatest live in its own way.

Young Otoharu: Because both the people on stage and the fans are there with feelings they hold dear to their hearts.

Young Sousuke: Your vision of things is always so vague.

Young Otoharu: I think being vague is fine. After all, the things we create by making lives have no clear form, either.

Young Otoharu: Having your heart moved, being overwhelmed with passion, or feeling united… if you had to, you could put them into words, but the meaning of all this is like a rainbow you can never reach.

Young Musubi: ….Rainbow…

Young Otoharu: As time goes on, the sensation fades. But we all definitely saw it together.

Young Otoharu: Both the stars and the fans saw the same rainbow. …No, that’s wrong.

Young Otoharu: They built a rainbow bridge together.

Young Musubi: Building a rainbow bridge together… It's like a fairy tale.

Young Sousuke: Right. That’s because he is a fairy tale type of guy. The idea of creating something together with the fans is weird.

Young Sousuke: Our job is to control the audience with a flawless performance.

Young Otoharu: Yaotome-kun, you’re so serious.

Young Sousuke: You’re just too carefree. I’ll work my way up quickly and become independent. And then I’ll be the lord of my own castle.

Young Otoharu: Having dreams is nice. What about you? Do you have any dreams?

Young Musubi: That’s a good question….

Young Musubi: I want to try creating the greatest live.

Young Musubi: The people standing on stage, the fans who came there, all the staff that’s involved…

Young Musubi: When they feel the same excitement and happiness, and you can create the shining performance you promised them…

Young Musubi: That’s the kind of live I want to make.

Young Otoharu: You can definitely do it. Right, Yaotome-kun?

Young Sousuke: Hm. You’re both prone to dreaming.

Young Sousuke: But well… It's good to have conviction.

Young Musubi: Yes! Takanashi-senpai, Yaotome-senpai, thank you very much.

Young Musubi: One day, I’ll make my dream come true… Together with the people on stage and the fans, I’ll create a happy rainbow.

Young Musubi: Even if it disappears right away…

Young Musubi: The memories of that rainbow I created together with all these people will live on forever inside my heart.

Young Musubi: Even after I am gone…

–

(ping)

Yotsuba Tamaki: Hm… A message from Sou-chan…

Yotsuba Tamaki: “I’m sorry about yesterday. MEZZO’’ had bonds.”

Yotsuba Tamaki: ……

Yotsuba Tamaki: “Had” bonds…?

Kujou Tenn: Here, some orange juice.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Ah. Thanks.

Kujou Tenn: Sorry for asking you to come over. Even though it’s your day off.

Yotsuba Tamaki: It’s fine. Unlike Sou-chan, I’m not composing or anything, so I have nothing to do anyway.

Kujou Tenn: ….I need to consult you about Aya.

Yotsuba Tamaki: I figured. This is the only thing you’d wanna talk to me about anyway, Tenten.

Kujou Tenn: What happened?

Yotsuba Tamaki: What?

Kujou Tenn: Haven’t you been acting weirdly spineless for a while now?

Yotsuba Tamaki: Ha? Spineless?

Kujou Tenn: Saying stuff like “I’m not composing, so I have nothing to do anyway.” or “This is the only thing you’d wanna talk to me about anyway.”.

Yotsuba Tamaki: I dunno what you mean. It’s not like it’s wrong.

Kujou Tenn: Since it’s your day off, it’s fine to rest how you’d like to. I just don’t call you unless it’s a special occasion because we’re both busy.

Kujou Tenn: But if there is time for that, I’d like to talk to you more, Yotsuba Tamaki. Because you’re a kind and funny person.

Yotsuba Tamaki: ………

Yotsuba Tamaki: Tenten~…

Kujou Tenn: What, now you’re trying to lean on me with that sweet voice?

Yotsuba Tamaki: Say it again~

Kujou Tenn: You’re needy.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Say it.

Kujou Tenn: You’re a genius. You’re good-looking and cute. You’re a special, popular person who’s loved all over the world.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Ahaha! That was too much.

Kujou Tenn: I like you when you’re honest. Even though you went out of our way to meet me, I’m sorry if I ended up making you feel bad.

Kujou Tenn: Even though I usually don’t spend time with you, I called you because it was convenient for me. Are you angry about that?

Kujou Tenn: If that’s the case, get angry at me. Stop saying things to put yourself down.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Okay….

Kujou Tenn: Are you mad?

Yotsuba Tamaki: ….No…. I was happy you were relying on me regarding Aya…

Yotsuba Tamaki: Because at least you’re relying on me, Tenten…

Kujou Tenn: What are you saying? Riku and Ousaka Sougo think you're dependable, too.

Yotsuba Tamaki: No way. Riku is the center and he’s super popular anyway. Besides, he has you, Tenten.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Even when Sou-chan has issues, he just solves them while composing by himself, so it’s not like he really needs me, either…

Kujou Tenn: Ousaka Sougo wouldn’t say something like that though, would he?

Yotsuba Tamaki: Even without being told, I already know. I can tell. I started being able to tell.

Kujou Tenn: ……

Yotsuba Tamaki: Everyone has a lot to do, yet I’m the only one who has nothing…

Yotsuba Tamaki: If things go on like this, they’ll end up leaving me behind. I have to find something somehow…

Yotsuba Tamaki: Thinking about it might’ve made me feel down. Sorry for saying things like this. …I’m fine now.

Yotsuba Tamaki: You know, Tenten, can I ask you for a favor before we talk about Aya?

Kujou Tenn: A favor?

Yotsuba Tamaki: Please give me the contact info of Ash Baker, the dance instructor you had for “Zero”.

~ to be continued ~

6.5.2. - Kind umbrella

Yotsuba Tamaki: I haven’t talked to the others yet, but I want to go to that teacher and take lessons from him.

Kujou Tenn: He usually works overseas, though.

Yotsuba Tamaki: I know. I was thinking of going on hiatus. Going on hiatus and studying abroad.

Yotsuba Tamaki: So I’ll be able to live on my own, freely.

Kujou Tenn: …….

Kujou Tenn: And you haven’t talked about this to the others yet?

Yotsuba Tamaki: I haven’t. I’ve only told you, Tenten.

Kujou Tenn: You can’t do that, Yotsuba Tamaki. Confiding in me about things you haven’t even told your group members.

Yotsuba Tamaki: ……

Kujou Tenn: …Aah… I think I finally get why I was told to stop taking on everything on my own. 

Kujou Tenn: Wouldn’t they be sad to only hear about it afterwards, even though you’re in the same group?

Yotsuba Tamaki: …But if I talked to them about it, there’d be a huge fuss. Of course I’m going to talk to them later.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Tenten, give me his contact information. If you don’t, I’ll just ask Gakkun or Ryuu-aniki for it.

Kujou Tenn: Why do you want to study abroad? Not that I think living freely on your own is a bad thing….

Kujou Tenn: …Why would you, who loved IDOLiSH7, say something like that?

Yotsuba Tamaki: Didn’t I say it already? I just want to find something I want to do. Give me his contact information.

Yotsuba Tamaki: What about Aya? Didn’t you want to consult me about something?

Kujou Tenn: …The way you are right now, I won’t. I don’t think I should.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Why!?

Kujou Tenn: I feel like the timing is bad. You’re having worries right now, right?

Yotsuba Tamaki: I don’t have worries. I already decided. Hey… Talk to me, Tenten. Weren’t you relying on me?

Yotsuba Tamaki: Don’t just say you’ll stop now. I can do it! There’s a lot of things I can do properly…

Kujou Tenn: ….

Kujou Tenn: I’ll definitely stop.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Why!?

Kujou Tenn: You’re sulking. 

Yotsuba Tamaki: I’m telling you I’m not sulking! Just tell me!

Kujou Tenn: Don’t raise your voice. I’ll properly listen to you regardless, so you don’t have to do that.

Yotsuba Tamaki: ……

Kujou Tenn: Stop forcing yourself to pretend like you’re an adult already.

Yotsuba Tamaki: I’m not. …I just figured things out.

Kujou Tenn: You didn’t. Nobody said they don’t need you. Aya needs you. IDOLiSH7, too.

Kujou Tenn: Did you feel lonely thinking that Aya and Ousaka Sougo weren’t relying on you?

Yotsuba Tamaki: …I mean… I mean, it’s true though…

Yotsuba Tamaki: They’re fine without me. I’m not sulking, either. Really, it’s fine like this. 

Yotsuba Tamaki: I mean… if I didn’t like it, that’d mean I’d want them to be unhappy without me, right?

Kujou Tenn: ……

Yotsuba Tamaki: It’d be the same as wanting them to be hopeless without me. …That’d be awful of me, right…

Yotsuba Tamaki: Even though I thought it would be fine as long as Aya is happy…

Yotsuba Tamaki: Even though I thought it would be nice if Sou-chan was more confident… Ain’t that just a lie?

Kujou Tenn: Mhm…

Yotsuba Tamaki: But somehow right now… I don’t like it. They look so happy without me.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Tenten, how was it for you? When Rikkun was happy without you, didn’t you feel lonely?

Kujou Tenn: ……….

Yotsuba Tamaki: …In the past I would’ve never thought about this sort of thing. I didn’t care about what anyone else did.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Before I became part of IDOLiSH7, I was free.

Yotsuba Tamaki: I was fine on my own. That was just how I was. I never even thought about feeling lonely.

Yotsuba Tamaki: I wanna go back to those times… I was invincible back then.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Kch …I wanna go back to being invincible…

Kujou Tenn: …..

Kujou Tenn: You’re invincible even now, Yotsuba Tamaki.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Tenten….

Kujou Tenn: What if you tried it? Adopting a don’t-care attitude. 

Yotsuba Tamaki: What…?

Kujou Tenn: It’s fine to say, “Sou-chan, pay attention to me”.

Yotsuba Tenn: I can’t tell him that! I’m not a kid!!!

Kujou Tenn: You wanna go back to being in invincible mode, right?

Yotsuba Tamaki: If I said that, I’d just bother him!! Sou-chan is busy right now!

Kujou Tenn: How would you feel if your friends hesitated to tell you about their worries solely because you are busy?

Kujou Tenn: Would you feel thankful towards them for noticing that you’re busy?

Yotsuba Tamaki: ….

Kujou Tenn: You wouldn’t. You’d feel sorry because you didn’t notice their troubles. The same goes for Ousaka Sougo.

Kujou Tenn: You’ll have to forgive him for not noticing. Right now is the happiest time of his life. After all, isn’t being able to create songs great?

Yotsuba Tamaki: Yeah…

Kujou Tenn: Wouldn’t you feel lonely if one of your group members suddenly decided on their own to go on hiatus or study abroad?

Yotsuba Tamaki: …I would…

Kujou Tenn: I would, too. If Gaku or Ryuu did something like that, I would think that I had wanted to talk to them beforehand.

Kujou Tenn: If it was my fault that either of them felt lonely, I’d regret it even more.

Kujou Tenn: I’d be sorry for not noticing.

Yotsuba Tamaki: …I didn’t think about that.

Kujou Tenn: Eh?

Yotsuba Tamaki: “Don’t you ignore me, thanks to whom do you think you’re here?” I was told that sort of thing by my old man. 

Yotsuba Tamaki: “Whatever, he’s an idiot,” is what I thought… I don’t know anymore… I don’t wanna become like my old man...

Kujou Tenn: You won’t.

Yotsuba Tamaki: But…

Kujou Tenn: You won’t. Remember when we first met and you carried me on your back and ran to the venue.

Kujou Tenn: Thank you for that kindness. Thank you for helping me. You’re doing fine.

Yotsuba Tamaki: ..…Tenten…

Kujou Tenn: Where is Ousaka Sougo right now?

Yotsuba Tamaki: Probably… composing in the studio. 

Kujou Tenn: You should go and spend time with him. You’ll be okay. Because you’re invincible. I will give you an invincible shield.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Because I carried you, Tenten? Like a reward item?

Kujou Tenn: That’s right. Go talk to Ousaka Sougo. After that, we can talk about Aya.

Yotsuba Tamaki: …Okay.

Kujou Tenn: Ah…

Yotsuba Tamaki: What?

Kujou Tenn: I’ll lend you my umbrella. It’s raining.

~ to be continued ~

6.5.3. - Beginning rain shower

Rokuya Nagi: Lalala~ I’ll take an attempt at making latte art of my oshi. I’ll start with practice…

Rokuya Nagi: OH! I’m good at this! Now I have to keep going like this…

Rokuya Nagi: Ya~y! I made a cute heart!

Rokuya Nagi: Let’s take a photo! Alright, café latte and me, smile~!

(click)

Rokuya Nagi: OH…. Beautiful. Time to upload it to Rabbitter.

(door opens)

Ousaka Sougo: I’m back.

Rokuya Nagi: Hi, Sougo! Please look at this! It’s latte art!

Ousaka Sougo: Waah, it’s good! That’s a pretty zebra.

Rokuya Nagi: It’s a heart.

Ousaka Sougo: Aah, you’re right. Nagi-kun, I know it’s sudden, but how about tonight?

Rokuya Nagi: It really is sudden, but what are you talking about?

Ousaka Sougo: I thought we could… together…

Rokuya Nagi: WHAT…?

Ousaka Sougo: ……

Ousaka Sougo: Nevermind. It’s fine after all…

Rokuya Nagi: OH… I am very very very curious….

Ousaka Sougo: There’s something I want to do with you…

Rokuya Nagi: Wait, Sougo. Why are you not telling me the key word of this request? Is it something bad?

Ousaka Sougo: It’s not anything illegal, but it is something I feel guilty about doing… kind of…

Rokuya Nagi: Hm… Like having a bucket of ice cream and only eating one bite before throwing it away…?

Ousaka Sougo: Only kings and royalty would do that. Ah… you were royalty.

Rokuya Nagi: Northmeir’s royal family treasures its ice cream. What about your family, Sougo?

Ousaka Sougo: Ice cream… When we had it at the end of a full-course meal, even my father would eat it.

Rokuya Nagi: Right. There’s no one who dislikes ice cream.

Ousaka Sougo: …Nagi-kun.

Rokuya Nagi: Yes.

Ousaka Sougo: …Do you have time tonight after all? I… I have to ask you for a favor…

Rokuya Nagi: Hm…

Rokuya Nagi: Okay. I will help you. But if possible, I would like to hear what this is about first.

Rokuya Nagi: I believe in you, Sougo, and I want to be helpful to you. What would you like to do together?

Ousaka Sougo: Nagi-kun…

Ousaka Sougo: …Thank you. I’m sorry I couldn’t say it from the beginning… Uhm…

Ousaka Sougo: On the day we said goodbye to Sakura-san, we played the piano together, right?

Ousaka Sougo: I want to play with you like we did that day. I’m renting a studio tonight, so if it’s not too much trouble for you…

Rokuya Nagi: Wow! Playing with you again sounds fun, Sougo! From the bottom of my heart, I’d be happy to!

Rokuya Nagi: But, why?

Ousaka Sougo: …..I was hoping to get a hint from you while doing that…

Rokuya Nagi: A hint for songwriting? And that’s something bad?

Ousaka Sougo: It’s not a bad idea… right? I thought that if I can’t solve it with my own strength, I should try to ask someone for help…

Rokuya Nagi: Hm… I'll take care of that inspiration of yours, Sougo.

Rokuya Nagi: There has to be a reason why you thought this is a bad thing to do. What kind of song are you making?

Ousaka Sougo: …It’s a MEZZO’’ song about bonds.

Rokuya Nagi: OH! It’s the theme song for the special drama you’re starring in, isn’t it?

Ousaka Sougo: That’s right. The deadline is approaching, but it’s not going well…

Ousaka Sougo: Even though I think that me and Tamaki-kun should have a bond, a lot of things happened and I became awkward with him, too…

Rokuya Nagi: OH…. MEZZO’’’s bond…

Ousaka Sougo: When I played the piano with you and Natsume-san, the melodies naturally merged together, even though we didn’t have a meeting beforehand.

Ousaka Sougo: That day, I felt something like a bond. I want to experience that once more… which is why I need your help.

Rokuya Nagi: OK, Sougo. I didn’t lie about wanting to play with you.

Rokuya Nagi: But don’t you think that because it is a song about MEZZO’’s bond, the one you should be asking for help is Tamaki instead of me?

Ousaka Sougo: But… I’ll bother Tamaki-kun if I ask him about songwriting.

Ousaka Sougo: I decided to selfishly start songwriting all on my own, so I definitely can't trouble Tamaki-kun with it…

Rokuya Nagi: Tamaki can’t play piano, but he has a beautiful singing voice. He has a bond with you, too.

Ousaka Sougo: …You think me and him have a bond…?

Rokuya Nagi: As long as you believe in it. The second you stop, the bond disappears. Or rather, it becomes invisible.

Rokuya Nagi: Once you believe in it again, you start being able to see it again. Me and my brother were like that, too.

Ousaka Sougo: …You realized you had a bond with him?

Rokuya Nagi: Yes. I felt a bond. It was like finding a treasure chest in the sand.

Ousaka Sougo: …..I wonder if I had that, too….

Ousaka Sougo: I never felt a bond with my family…

Ousaka Sougo: …I feel like I’ve been seeing the things I consider bonds right now in a wrong light, too…

Ousaka Sougo: I don’t know where I’m supposed to draw the line… Whether it’s alright to rely on people to this point, whether it’s rude to not rely on people, whether it’s rude to rely on them too much…

Rokuya Nagi: The answer is different for everyone. That’s why creating bonds with people is both hard and fun.

Rokuya Nagi: I am happy that you were able to rely on me just now.

Ousaka Sougo: …Thank you. Nagi-kun…

Ousaka Sougo: That’s right, it’s just as you said. I will try talking to Tamaki-kun. If it’s fine with you, the studio today…

(ping)

Ousaka Sougo: Aah… It’s a rabicha from Tamaki-kun.

Rokuya Nagi: OH! Speak of the devil!

Ousaka Sougo: …He wrote, ”Can I watch today when you’re at the recording studio?”…

Rokuya Nagi: Ahaha! See?

Rokuya Nagi: There were bonds after all! Nice timing!

Ousaka Sougo: …Yes…!

--

Midou Torao: ….

Utsugi Shirou: What a heavy shower. It would be nice if it stopped soon.

Midou Torao: Right…

Utsugi Shirou: There’s always so many sudden rain showers in this season, it’s bothersome. Even the shooting had to be stopped.

Midou Torao: Well, yeah.

Utsugi Shirou: Do you like the summer?

Midou Torao: A normal amount… Why are you asking?

Utsugi Shirou: What do you mean “why”?

Midou Torao: Well, you were trying so hard to make small talk with me.

Utsugi Shirou: Because I like making small talk with you, Midou-san. By the way, are you scared of heights?

Midou Torao: Not really….

Utsugi Shirou: Heh…

Midou Torao: What’s this about?

Utsugi Shirou: Oh, nothing. Nothing at all.

Midou Torao: ……

Utsugi Shirou: Are you actually scared?

Midou Torao: No, I’m not scared. I am fine.

Utsugi Shirou: Heh…

--

Isumi Haruka: …It’s hard to hear because of the rain, but doesn’t Utsugi-san suck at casual conversation!?

Natsume Minami: He usually seems so composed and resourceful, yet why…?

Inumaru Touma: From here on out, it’ll be like that… Since telling him indirectly didn’t work, we’ll have to do it as directly as possible…

Inumaru Touma: Which is to say, instead of just eavesdropping, we should directly go ask Tora ourselves, right?

Isumi Haruka: Wait a little longer! Torao has a load of pride, so he’d also start sulking super easily!

Natsume Minami: If we ask him about it, he’ll be weirdly stubborn about it. Remember how it was with me.

Inumaru Touma: How it was with you?

Natsume Minami: When you three invited me to go to Northmeir, I said I definitely wouldn’t go, right?

Inumaru Touma: You did…

Natsume Minami: If my pride hadn’t gotten in the way, I might have been able to be honest much sooner.

Isumi Haruka: Torao is the oldest, after all. Maybe it’s hard for him to show his weak side in front of us.

Inumaru Touma: Who cares if he’s the oldest. I’m the leader, so I’ll ask him!

Natsume Minami: Wait, please wait…!

Isumi Haruka: Let’s try watching for a bit longer.

--

Utsugi Shirou: Is there something you would like to do? Or something you wouldn’t like to do?

Midou Torao: ……

Utsugi Shirou: It might be a bad question to ask right as filming is wrapping up, but… Are you actually bad at this sort of thing?

Midou Torao: Not really… There’s nothing I’m not good at, and I have no weak points, either.

Utsugi Shirou: Aah, as expected of you.

Midou Torao: Haha, obviously…. “Something I want to do”…

Midou Torao: …. I don’t really have something I want to do.

Utsugi Shirou: Is that so?

Midou Torao: Yeah.

Utsugi Shirou: I understand. If you can think of anything, please do tell me.

Midou Torao: And what would you do if I did? Go along with my selfishness?

Utsugi Shirou: Well, yes. I will do my best to go along with it. I would try to negotiate with people about it…

Midou Torao: Hmpf. That’s typical of Tsukumo. But I don’t have any troubles right now, so don’t bother.

Utsugi Shirou: Uhm… Please don’t misunderstand. That doesn’t mean we would agree to something unreasonable, just because a talent of ours is being selfish.

Utsugi Shirou: But if it’s something related to your work motivation, Midou-san, then I would want to respect that.

Midou Torao: …..? So what? Didn’t you just change your wording?

Utsugi Shirou: That’s wrong. If you’re being pointlessly selfish, I won’t go along with it.

Midou Torao: …..

Utsugi Shirou: If there is something that makes you see your own potential and want to take on a challenge, I will do my best to support you.

Utsugi Shirou: Because I want you to love both yourself and this job more.

Utsugi Shirou: How do I put it… because that would also increase your appeal and value.

Utsugi Shirou: That way, there’ll be invisible benefits to this shoot for you, too. Like you gaining momentum, or new strength.

Utsugi Shirou: That being said, speaking of business… It’s not like we’ll selfishly ask anything from you, either.

Midou Torao: …Hm… There’s no guarantee that my value would increase, though.

Utsugi Shirou: If we were to guarantee anything, we wouldn’t be able to support newcomers.

Utsugi Shirou: Precisely because we know that there are no guarantees, as long as time permits it, the entertainment world will continue to give people chances.

Utsugi Shirou: We do this work because we want the productions you’re all involved in to turn out great.

Midou Torao: …..But if it was all for nothing, it’d be disappointing.

Utsugi Shirou: Well, yeah.

Midou Torao: ……..

Midou Torao: …. Then it’s fine like this. I won’t do anything to hinder our progress when nobody even wants me to.

Midou Torao: I don’t really have anything I want to do.

Utsugi Shirou: Okay. I understand. I’m sorry for asking you this many times.

Midou Torao: It’s fine, thanks.

Utsugi Shirou: By the way, I do have one last question.

Midou Torao: Yeah.

Utsugi Shirou: “When nobody even wants me to”… Does that “nobody” include you, too, Midou-san?

Midou Torao: ……

Utsugi Shirou: If it doesn’t include you… And there is something you do want to do, I will make my move.

Utsugi Shirou: Please tell me.

Midou Torao: ….I don’t know…

Utsugi Shirou: ……..

Midou Torao: ….I don’t know if it’s okay to want something to the point of causing people trouble…

Utsugi Shirou: …….

Utsugi Shirou: It’s okay. I’ll take responsibility. It’s okay if you fail, too. Don’t worry, please just tell me about it.

Utsugi Shirou: Is there something you would like to do? I am very sorry, but I don’t know what it is if you don’t tell me.

Utsugi Shirou: Please tell me what you want to do. Please let me help you.

Midou Torao: …..I can’t…

Utsugi Shirou: ……

Midou Torao: I can’t say it…. I’m scared of saying it…

Utsugi Shirou: …Midou-san…

Midou Torao: ….Shut up! I told you it’s fine!

Midou Torao: …I have nothing more to say to you. Go somewhere else.

Utsugi Shirou: ………I will do that.

~ to be continued ~

6.5.4. - Caged

Yotsuba Tamaki: What is this thing for?

Ousaka Sougo: Ah… This piece of equipment is old. We won’t be using it today.

Yotsuba Tamaki: And that one?

Ousaka Sougo: That one, too.

Yotsuba Tamaki: You’re barely using any of these then, huh.

Ousaka Sougo: That’s true… I think it would be possible with just a modern smartphone at this point.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Huh.

Ousaka Sougo: Sorry… Even though you went out of your way to accompany me to the studio.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Not really… It’s fine.

Ousaka Sougo: This umbrella, did you buy it?

Yotsuba Tamaki: I borrowed it from Tenten.

Ousaka Sougo: Ah, I see. …Why did you meet up with Kujou-san?

Yotsuba Tamaki: ……

Ousaka Sougo: ……Did I ask too much? I want to respect your privacy….

Yotsuba Tamaki: No. ….Well, it’s kind of like… I really don’t get it, either.

Ousaka Sougo: …… Is that so….

Yotsuba Tamaki: Is that bad?

Ousaka Sougo: No… Ah… Before I came here, there was a rainbow. Did you see it too, Tamaki-kun?

Yotsuba Tamaki: I didn’t see it.

Ousaka Sougo: I see…

Ousaka Sougo: ….Then, would you listen to the part I’ve composed so far? There’s multiple variants, though…

Yotsuba Tamaki: Sou-chan, wait. Can I tell you something before that?

Ousaka Sougo: You want to tell me something…? Of course that’s fine! You can tell me anything.

Yotsuba Tamaki: I…

Yotsuba Tamaki: I’m thinking about quitting IDOLiSH7 and MEZZO’’ for a while.

Ousaka Sougo: ….

Ousaka Sougo: ….Eh….?

Yotsuba Tamaki: It’s not that I hate being an idol. I love singing, I love dancing, and I love all the fans. I love you guys, too.

Yotsuba Tamaki: I wanna continue like this forever, but I don’t know what kind of idol I wanna be anymore…

Yotsuba Tamaki: I want to do it more seriously. Look at Iorin and yourself. I wanna be an idol who can stand on their own…

Ousaka Sougo: …But you’re doing good enough right now..…

Yotsuba Tamaki: I want it, too. Something like a dream.

Yotsuba Tamaki: You guys made my dreams of finding Aya and getting friends that are like family come true, so…

Yotsuba Tamaki: I want a dream that’ll prevent me from feeling lonely. No matter who Aya is with, no matter how busy you are with songwriting.

Yotsuba Tamaki: I want to chase after that thing I want. And for that I wanna leave this place to study abroad.

Ousaka Sougo: …..

Ousaka Sougo: Tamaki-kun, what is it that you wanna do?

Yotsuba Tamaki: I dunno… I think maybe it’s dancing though…

Ousaka Sougo: …..I see…. You’re good at dancing, after all.

Ousaka Sougo: ….Right… I’m sure you’ll be a great idol once you’ve mastered dancing.

YotsubaTamaki: You think so?

Ousaka Sougo: Yes…

Yotsuba Tamaki: I dunno, really… Maybe I’m just saying this to bother you and Aya, too…

Ousaka Sougo: …Bother…?

Yotsuba Tamaki: Like I just want you guys to care about me. …Does it seem like that?

Ousaka Sougo: …….I’m sorry…. I don’t know….

Yotsuba Tamaki: ….I see…

Ousaka Sougo: ……

Yotsuba Tamaki: Well…. I hate worrying like this, so I really want to find it.

Yotsuba Tamaki: That thing I want to do. Something to get lost in. Because I don’t wanna think about the rest of this long life I’ve ahead of me.

Ousaka Sougo: …That’s right, isn’t… I’ll cheer you on.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Really?

Ousaka Sougo: Sorry for not being able to say it right away… I was just shaken…

Yotsuba Tamaki: It’s fine, it’s fine. If you had cheered me on right away, it would’ve shocked me, too, you know.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Thinking about it, I wonder if I’m just sulking because I’m lonely after all…

Yotsuba Tamaki: Thank you, Sou-chan.

Ousaka Sougo: …..No…

Ousaka Sougo: Thank you for telling me about it…

--

Midou Torao: ……….Ha….

Inumaru Touma: Tora!

Natsume Minami: Midou-san….

Midou Torao: You guys…

Inumaru Touma: What happened? Yelling at Utsugi-san like that…. You were making a real sad face, too.

Midou Torao: Were you guys watching…!?

Natsume Minami: …We were. We were worried about you.

Midou Torao: Ahaha! Aren’t you one to talk? I mean, you guys are…

Natsume Minami: Calm down. You should know that we aren’t here to laugh at you.

Natsume Minami: Take my hand. There you go…

Midou Torao: ……Sorry…. I kind of suddenly started panicking…

Inumaru Touma: Panicking… Was there something you were scared of after all? Like something you don’t want to see?

Midou Torao: ….That’s not it…

Midou Torao: He… He asked me if there was something I wanted to do.

Inumaru Touma: That means….

Midou Torao: I couldn’t tell him anything.

Inumaru Touma: Because there was nothing? Or because there was something and you couldn’t tell him?

Midou Torao: …

Inumaru Touma: If there’s something, tell us. You can talk without holding back if it’s us, right?

Midou Torao: ….That…..

Inumaru Touma: You can’t say it even now? Not even in front of us?

Natsume Minami: Inumaru-san…

Inumaru Touma: If there’s something you wanna do, Tora, I’ll support you no matter what it is. Even so, you still can’t tell me?

Midou Torao: …..

Inumaru Touma: I mean it. No matter what it is, I won’t say I’m against it without hearing you out first. I swear on my life.

Inumaru Touma: Even so…?

Midou Torao: …But…

Midou Torao: But you’ll laugh at me…

Inumaru Touma: Huh?!? You idiot! We’d never laugh at you!

Natsume Minami: Inumaru-san, calm down…

Inumaru Touma: But…! When did I ever laugh at you?! We’re group members!

Midou Torao: …I get it. In my head, I get it, but…

Midou Torao: My voice gets stuck in my throat… I'm scared of saying it out loud…

Natsume Minami: Midou-san…

Midou Torao: “Even if you say what you want to do… even if you tell them seriously… they'll laugh and say it’s impossible…”

Midou Torao: “It’s pointless, so don’t even try”… “I’m saying this for your own good…” I can’t get that voice out of my head…

Midou Torao: ….Even though Utsugi-san said he’d give me a chance…

Inumaru Touma: …..Tora….

Midou Torao: …Why…

Inumaru Touma: …….

Inumaru Touma: Tora, tell us. Tell us what you want to do. I definitely won’t laugh. If I do, you can kill me.

Natsume Minami: I promise, too. Of course, if you are having a hard time, I won’t force it on you, Midou-san.

Natsume Minami: But could you trust us and tell us about it…?

Midou Torao: ….a….

Inumaru Touma: ….

Natsume Minami: ….

Midou Torao: …..A….

Inumaru Touma: ….

Natsume Minami: ….

Midou Torao: Damn… This has to be a joke… Why am I this scared…? What am I so scared of…?

Midou Torao: It’s just saying what I want… Why is… Why is it making me feel this miserable…?

Midou Torao: …Aah…. This is so pathetic and embarrassing…. I don’t want to say it after all…

Inumaru Touma: Why….

Midou Torao: I look so dumb…. Secretly thinking about something this stupid and causing everyone trouble…

Inumaru Touma: You’re smart and cool, Tora! What happened to your usual confidence?

Midou Torao: I don’t know… It’s fine… Can we stop talking about this now?

Inumaru Touma: Even if we stop now, I’ll just ask you again!

Midou Torao: …..

Midou Torao: I wanted to do it.

Inumaru Touma: Eh…?

Midou Torao: An action scene. I wanted to do one by myself. I wanted to move around like a hero… that’s all.

Midou Torao: Sorry for saying such stupid things.

~ to be continued ~

----

TL note:

Hello, it's Mod Riku again! I am kinda getting the hang of this, but I was overdoing it, so I am slowing down now. I'll get scolded otherwise lol.

I put Nagi's English (and his OH!s) in italics for your reading convenience!!

Also, we received more messages of support in our inbox!! We appreciate them a lot, so thank you!

[aeshnalacrymosa]

“I really am glad you’re here.”

Bruno and Aya at 19 for Week 2 of @encanto-extended-edition

Bruno's reputation was deteriorating in his adolescence along with his mental health. With his sisters also struggling with their own gifts at this age, he turned to Aya for support.

By this point, Aya had long come to terms with her own loss and was continuing her family's work. This was the time that her earliest patients began to call her "la bruja." She didn't mind; she liked the idea that she was making her own kind of magic.

With this reignited sense of purpose, Aya helped anyone in need. People came to her for treatments that Julieta can't give. Some of these treatments include administering substances that would be classified as illicit drugs in most parts of the world. (I was inspired by the documentary Have a Good Trip and recent psychiatric research about the potential benefits of hallucinogenic substances for mental health management.)

But because some of these medicines are safer to give to adults, Bruno was actually too young to take them when he first came to Aya complaining about intrusive thoughts and reporting self-harm. So Aya made herself a safe place for Bruno, which did improve his moods. They became closer than before by age 18. By age 19, they were exchanging "I love you's". He shared with her his visions of his future sobrinos and told her how much he loved them.

[sethrollinsgirl]

You were sitting on a couch in your boyfriends Loft. You both had just got back from doing your morning jog. He was getting you both some Type O blood, your favorite. You were a Salvatore sister, well half sister seeing as you were also a witch. You were younger than Damon by a year or two. You were a heretic, you were born a siphoner witch but when your brothers got turned by the infamous Katherine, she ended up turning you as well.

Now here you were in New Orleans. Your brother Stefan ended up falling back in love with his old flame from the nineteen twenty's Rebekah Mikaelson. So when Rebekah followed her brothers to New Orleans because of the miracle baby, well Stefan went with them and you followed right behind them. That's how you met your boyfriend Marcel Gerard. You two have been together for two years now.

"What's that?" You asked Marcel seeing the white card in his hand. You stood up to grab the card from him. On it was one word. Strix.

"Tristian just called me, it's an invitation to the Strix party. How would you like to be my hot date tonight?"

"I don't trust the strixs, but it is a party so count me in." You smirked up at him. There was no way you were gonna let him go to that party without back up. Your phone buzzed family meeting, something about a prophecy. How soon can you get here?. You sent a quick on my way text back to Hayley. Hayley and you have grown rather close over the years and you considered her your closest friend.

"More mikaelson drama, I'll fill you in on the latest chapter of our family later" you kissed Marcel goodbye and made your way to the compound.

When you arrived to the compound Freya, Elijah, Hayley and Klaus were all there.

"I assume you told her about the blood prophesy." Klaus asked Elijah as you were making your way into the room.

"I was just getting to that." Elijah replied.

"Now would be good." Hayley told Elijah.

"What is with this whole prophesy thing?" You asked Klaus making you presence known.

"Well Luv, it appears my old mate Lucien has acquired a genuine seer, and in an effort to prove his good intentions, he got her to show us some rather dire visions of future doom. It's grim stuff, really, not for the faint of heart."

"Whose doom are we talking because if it's yours I think we all okay with it." Hayley told Klaus as her hands rested on hips.

"Ha ha ha! Well, sadly, we're all on the chopping block, but chin up. This witch claims her visions are constantly evolving, so you may just get your wish."

"Well, I want to meet this psychic witch, Tonight." Hayley told Elijah looking at him.

"Great! I'm going too, Marcel got an invite. We will probably need all the back up we can get, if things get nasty." You told Hayley as you walked over to the table where the bourbon sat to pour you some.

"What do you mean Marcellus was invited?" Elijah asked you with a confused look and hint of worry on his face.

"When we got back from our morning jog Tristan called Marcel and invited him to the gala. Why is it a set up? Because I feel like it could be."

"If Tristan invited him, it's not just an invite. It's initiation. Neither of you are going. I won't allow it." Elijah sternly told you as he went to pull out his phone to no doubt call Marcel and tell him the same thing.

"You know as well as I do, Marcel will do whatever he wants and I for one am not gonna let him go alone tonight Elijah. So regardless what you will allow, we will be attending the Strix ball tonight." You told Elijah as you vamp speed out of the compound and made your way back to Marcels loft.

******Time skip to the ball starting******

The minute you stepped into the room where the Strix ball was held, you were memorize. Everything looked so fancy. Marcel had left you alone to go talk to Aya. You were about to go get you a drink when you were interrupted by Tristan clinking his glass with a spoon to get everyone's attention.

"Distinguished friends, welcome. It's so rare that we're able to come together like this to revel for one night in the company of true equals. Now I'd like to take a moment to welcome a very special guest... Mr. Marcel Gerard."

"Thank you. I'm honored. Thank you."

"Of course, before we tell Marcel all of our secrets, there's one small piece of business to which we must first attend. We must determine his worth."

"That's funny. I seem to recall you being the one knocking on my door."

"You'll notice, Mr. Gerard, that over the course of the evening, someone has managed to take something quite dear to you... Your daylight ring."

"What the hell is going on?" You turned to Hayley and Elijah who had both walked over to stand by you at the beginning of Tristians speech.

"I did warn you both, but nevermind that it will seem I'll have to get my hands dirty. Shame I did love this suit."

You looked at Elijah, not much caring for his tone. "Or I can just do a locator spell, and we can find the ring that way. I can protect Marcel myself, no need for you to strain yourself to care. "

Before he could speak again, you left and went over to stand by Marcel grabbing his hand. Shooting him a reassuring look.

"The test is quite simple. First, you need to deduce the identity of the thief. Then you are simply to take back what is yours... Although I doubt the prize will be easily relinquished. After all, despite our refinement, we're still a rather violent bunch. In victory, you become one of us. In failure, you meet your death. You have a few hours until dawn. I wish you the best of luck." Tristan finished his speech before making his way over to Hayley and Elijah.

"I can do a locator spell and find the ring Marcel, and whoever has it we can take them down together."

"No need, I already know who took it. I got everything under control. don't you worry babe. Just stay near Elijah. the Strix are a powerful bunch, if they try to go after you Elijah will protect you."

"I don't need Elijah's protection! I'm a heretic, if any of these idiots try me I'll make them head pop off." You paused before continuing "I know you, you are crafty and strong. You can take down anyone that gets in your way. Just be careful..... I Love you Marcel."

"I will be, I love you too." Marcel told you as he grabbed your face gently before kissing you. You smiled sadly as you watch him try to figure out who took his ring.

With the sun slowing coming up Marcel didn't have much time left to find his ring.

A couple hours have past by now.

"You fought with honor. Embrace the nobility of this end."

"I will if you will, or do you still not know?

You must have tasted it in my blood. Oh, now you're starting to feel it, aren't you, that burning sensation in your gut... Wolf's venom, a going-away gift from me. I may not have beaten you, but you lost all the same. I suggest you make your peace. We're both dead men walking." Marcel told the Strix vampire as he made his way over to you.

"I'm not anyone's puppet, if you want him dead. Kill him yourselves." He told Tristan. You helped lead him out of the mansion and vamp speed him back to his apartment. Helping him sit on the couch.

"That's was both genius and stupid. You should be lucky your dads blood can cure werewolf bites."

He turned to look at you with slight annoyance and a smirk on his face. "Shut up and heal me beautiful."

Putting you hand on his arm where the bite was you siphoned it.

"There no more big bad werewolf bite and you didn't even need Papa Klaus's blood to cure it." You told him with a smirk on your face. Marcel stood up and using his vamp speed to push you up against the wall with his hand around your throat.

"You really gonna be like that? I was planning on celebrating with you tonight but it seems you would rather be a brat and we just can't have that."

"Shut up and kiss me before I should you how much of a brat I really am." He removed his hand from your throat before pulling you into a kiss.

Tonight you two celebrate, tomorrow you two will deal with everything else.

*A/N I don't own anything,

With the tvdu ending today, I decide it was time to finally write my Marcel oneshot. I hope you guys enjoy! Thanks for reading :).

[an-ocean-viewer]

I am back. Here's an epic in my upcoming novel that doesn't rhyme because why not

Percoval Epic

Thank you my fellows, for allowing this peasant to speak, If all are willing, I am beholden and thus must behold my gratefulness, For in the beautiful country of Percoval, they are our pillars and foundations!

Hail to the house of Grucius, the tilling hands! Whose deft hands turned the barren earth to fields of gold! Praise be to the bountiful harvests they bring forth! Feeding the people and vanquishing hunger's hold

Salute to the house of Masoners, the hammer and chisel! Whose skilled hands crafted the grand walls that protected our home! Praise be to the progress from wood to stone and stone to steel! Safeguarders of the people and their hopes, dreams, and zeal!

Praise be to the house of Exoda, the call of the war! To the unyielding horn that blew against the endless hordes of Beasts! Praise be to the loud roar of the people and their undying spirit! May we rise unto its call

Glory be to the house of Klaudius, the indomitable spirits! To their swords that tore through the flesh of the Beasts! Praise be to their unyielding shields that protected both the common and the noble! Their fury is just, their goals are the people's goals

Blessed be the house of Ophello, the vision of the future! Whose sharp minds weave the tapestry of our nation's fate! Praise be to their foresight that steers us toward a brighter dawn! Guiding leaders to make wise choices and pressing ever on

Long live the house of Aya, the country's heart! The ones who listened to the misfortunate and those not of noble blood! Praise be to their broad mind and their passion to serve the people! With their leadership, this country and its people will never fall!

Rest well oh fallen house of Fannellope, the inventors! Though gone now, their legacy remains, a testament to their skill! Their inventions sparked a new age, never to stand still! May your spirit live on in us, bless us with the mind of your house

[woozi]

if you had to describe your friendship with your moots as seventeen ships (boochan, jeongcheol etc) which moots would it be and why? is it dynamics? your undying love for each other? rivalry? sorry if this doesnt make sense ^^

it does make perfect sense don’t be sorry!! <3 also i don’t really see myself as just a single member of svt (although i am eerily similar to jihoon irl, surprise!! JDFJKDFK) so going through 12 pairings through a single member may not be very telling for my r/s with my moots sdksjkdjsd that being said i’m just gonna go through a few select ones!! some of these also don't exactly match svt's dynamics, but for the sake of answering, i would say they're pretty similar, lol.

cheol x gyu — i’m not associating rhys (@heartgyus) with cheolgyu’s dynamics just becase she used to bias one and now biases the other (👀), but i think they simply encapsulate our relationship perfectly as well <3 what am i if not the older sibling that roughhouses and gets roughhoused by the younger one JKDSJKDSJK i think we can also be jihan but this is exclusive to what happens (uhh... evil things) in the DMs lmfao. and maybe because people always think there’s something going on between us dsjkjkdjkds

junhao — cliche as fuck but i can’t help it it’s how e (@junhaoshua) and i are KJSDJKDS i was actually going through the list when it hit me.. we ARE junhao <3 jun’s (who would be me in this case) the older and more playful one out of the two, but hao also does his fair share of crazy antics ESPECIALLY with jun. i also think e is so cool (just like hao is). that’s MY bestie right there!! inseparable. fond. loyal. a pact made in blood. perfect for e and i <3

jeonghan x hoshi — partners in crime. mother and child. this is also what aya (@bonknanab) is to me <3 when i think of jeonghan and hoshi, i get reminded of their vlives (which always give me comfort and a sense of familiarity like aya does) just like seokhan. i feel like i can talk about literally anything and everything with aya! and just like when hoshi is with jeonghan, i tend to be a little more grounded while still somehow retaining the potential crazy antics. my fun older sister <3

soonhoon — pure energy vs solid wall. it’s carrie (@art-hao) and i <3 can i just say that when i made this connection between us and soonhoon... i literally felt like i ascendeDDDD not to toot my own horn but im SO SMART for this JDKKJSD u all don’t understand because this is literally how we are (both as individuals and as a pair). i cannot explain it but i, for sure, can most certainly attest that if any of these pairings i’ve mentioned/will be mentioning just reflect similarities, soonyoung and jihoon are EXACTLY as carrie and i are. i don’t even need to explain it i’m just gonna link all of u to soonhoon vids <3

seoksoon — belle (@xuseokgyu) is literally the seok to my soon <3 as they say, it’s literally almost canon JDSJKSJ i also love how we recognized this because of one of the carat anon ask games, but u know what they are absolutely right lol. belle is my positive ball of sunshine who also guides me when i’m going off the rails (just like how seokmin is the part-time hoshi wrangler). just as seoksoon has their own little world sometimes, i think no one connects with me and gets me (esp my dino tunnel vision) like belle does and i think that’s special <3

soonwoo — no one balances hoshi’s external chaos better than wonu, and i think belle (@gotseventeens) does exactly that when we’re together <3 at first, people think wonu’s cold and intimidating, but in reality he’s just a calm ball of internal chaos and other miscellaneous knowledge DSJKJDSDSKLSD this is literally how i thought of belle at first (minus the cold part), but as soon as we actually got to some proper talking, i realized that i literally cannot go without this person. friends for life, just like soonwoo!! <3

seokhan — one of the first things i think of when i think about jeonghan and dk together is that iconic eating vlive in their dorm, and i think that sums cora (@ohoshi) and i’s relationship KJDSJKDS i don’t think we personally match jeonghan and dk’s personalities, but we do dynamic-wise (or at least I think we do DSKJDJKS)! cora’s also just very supportive of me, just like how jeonghan is to dk. and although we don’t talk much lately (just like how seokhan aren’t able to share hotel rooms anymore bc.. well.. they have nowhere to go lmfao), i still treasure this bond with her <3

verkwan — ok but literally oona (@vernons) and i <3 foremost, oona is just here vibing like vernon and i absolutely love that omg. she’s also very collected and keeps to herself for the most part but when she reaches out, her gestures are always so heartfelt, which again, is like vernon! i really admire oona just like how boo does vernon, and the way i see it, i’m the loud friend (boo) whose antics vernon always witnesses, but when it comes to things they’re also a confidant. 10/10 vibes on this one!! <3

seungkwan x dk — wholesome. besties. it’s chey (@soonhoonsol) and i <3 like cora and i with seokhan, chey and i aren’t really similar to booseok but when they’re together i just think of happy and good things, which is what i get reminded of when i think of chey. <3 going through the list, i think they are also what we’re most similar to? i don’t think our dynamic can be compared to one of svt’s but this is the closest (maybe chey can suggest a better one JDSSDKDSJK)!! another one i can probably compare it to is wonwoo x vernon because i just feel like i can rely on chey just like vernon does wonwoo. <3 and like the two who have their personal humor codes, i also feel this special bond and fondness with and for chey!

hoshi x mingyu — am i about to steal your wallet. am i gonna get pissy that you beat me in a worthless competition (i know u will <3). that’s it that’s the post for emily (@iiasha)​. SDJKJDSJKDS mingyu’s also the prime witness and the reaction-machine to hoshi’s shenanigans and that’s literally how emily is with me, especially when i first got into caratblr (icb she saw the dinonara in me even before i did oh M YGODD). also emily is my getaway driver so this checks out. <3

jeonghan x wonwoo — i just realized that these are two of anna’s (@haniehae) boys but maybe the things and people we like also say a lot about us jdkjsdjdsjkds. i think our dynamic would be similar to jeonghan and wonu! jeonghan always like starting shit up (like i do <3), but wonu (like anna) always handles it very well and elegantly at that lol. i also just can’t describe why i feel like we fit this vibe, but i just get the Feeling™ JSDJKSDJKDS together, these two aren’t very chaotic, but i think they are quite the powerful pair (esp when they combine their sexie brain power and scheme together, just like what we did for HourlyHannie - shameless promo DKJSKJSDJKDS). also anna has Cool As A Cucumber vibes like wonu as well so <3

jeonghan x woozi — i always think of the time during svt’s trainee days wherein jeonghan was intimidated of woozi DKJKSDJ that’s also how i thought of izzie (@coupsnim) when i first entered caratblr bc i thought she was so cool (she still is!! <3) i also see that jeonghan has a lot of respect for jihoon and i do likewise for izzie. like jihoon as well, izzie mentioned that she’s not good at conveying things, but i feel it when she tags me here and there in little things (which i also might have missed some bc i have not been checking my notifs JDSJJDSJS ILY IZZIE). she’s one of the constants here as jihoon is central to svt, and i think of izzie very highly <3

boochan — lee (@uriboogyu) and i aren’t frenemies (but maybe we will have this arc soon JDSJKSDJSD JK!!!!!!!!!!), and i don’t really know where i’m getting this vibe from either, but when i think of lee and i boochan comes to mind. i think it’s because we’re always screaming at each other JKDSKJSJKSD. but as i think more about it, i believe it’s also because lee is a bit like dino as she’s the younger sibling that always reaches out to grumpy old people like me (and boo JDSKJSDKJ). both are very confident too!! also boochan lives for the show, and i won’t elaborate, but lee and i do too JDSKKJD

hoshi x seungkwan — target practice. waiting for each other’s downfall. still besties nonetheless <3 @mulberry-rose. i’m always excited to see if boo and hosh are gonna be friends or enemies a certain day and this is exactly what happens to monet and i lol. she’s one of the people who snipe me for my bias list, but we love to see it <3

soonchan — FOND FOND FOND FOND FOND!! when i think of soonchan i think of that vlive inside boo’s hotel room wherein they were hugging and calling each other 😭 or that one time in isac where dino’s just resting on soonyoung’s lap 😭 that’s exactly the feeling i get with mina (@mango-mina). i treasure this one right here! the absolute sweetest <3

[writer-and-artist27]

Flower Petals

For @panyum, since your art had me thinking on my breaks during my day at work today. Addressing some of Ayako's lore via the Vy-and-Ayako-coexisting AU. :)

Was listening to a piano version of Madoka's Luminous to go with this. Please enjoy.

In other words, Dantes adopts Vy as a daughter, I think.

-------------------------

"I'll be heading out first, Vy," Ayako said over her shoulder, her red-band Command Spells glowing on her right wrist as she waved her hand. "Anything I need to remember from the 'Material Shopping List' while farming?"

"Restocking on Cursed Bones and Dragon Hearts would be ideal, Aya-san!" Vy called after her from her seat at one of the tables in Chaldea's Dining Hall, trying not to laugh at Ayako's exaggerated air quotes. "Material Hell" wasn't exactly fun for either of them, after all. Not to mention QP hell. The "Material Shopping List" kinda just happened, and hey. It was a good way to keep some semblance of normalcy. Thus, Vy added after a second of extra thought, "Some more Void's Dust would be a nice bonus, if that's okay!"

With one last glance in her direction, Ayako sarcastically rolled her eyes while saying an exaggerated, "Fineeee~!" It was hard to make out her figure past all of Karna's fluff-armor-things and Raikou's many headpieces, but Vy could still see her fellow Master shoot her a warm smile. It was rare to see Ayako smile these days. "Don't die from overwork!" was the last comment Ayako left in the air, the Servants flanking her masking any remaining signs of her friend as she left the area.

Vy barely got the chance to reply with, "I-I won't die!" by the time Ayako was gone.

Still, the Dining Hall wasn't exactly devoid of people. Once Ayako had left, and before Vy could go back to her snack bowl of pineapple slices, a cold, almost bony hand decided to land on her head.

Pat pat.

Vy did her best to not flinch, taking in the feeling before opening her mouth. "...Count? You're not going with Aya-san?"

The Count of Monte Cristo did nothing but shrug once Vy raised her head and looked up at him through her glasses, quiet and rather mysterious-looking as always with his dark cape and fedora. The wisps of darkness still lingering on his figure were telling of his usual teleportation powers. Or, were those wisps smoke? Vy was never really sure with Ayako's Avenger. "I am, just not immediately," was the soft answer, and in spite of the glints of what seemed to be irritation in the corners of his yellow eyes, the man known as Edmond Dantes still seemed... serene. Somehow. "Is it so wrong for me to check on a little flower?"

It was rather amazing in hindsight how Vy didn't blush at the title. It wasn't everyday an Avenger wouldn't be... well, all "Avenge-y", or so some of the staff would whisper in the hallways when no one was looking. "You're the only one who calls me that, Count," Vy pointed out gently, raising one of her hands from the table to grab his hand before he could retract it from her head. "And you don't have to keep patting my head. I'm okay today."

The fact that Vy didn't feel the need to take a nap yet was a good enough sign for the rest of the day. At least, it felt like one.

The Count still smiled at her. Vy wasn't sure if it was a smirk or a grin at this point. "Still, it is remarkably rare to find someone like you, little flower. Merely take these gestures as a sign of appreciation. Hell can be a vast place to explore."

For some reason, Avenger's words sparked something in Vy's heart. She slowly let go of his hand, instead choosing to tilt her neck up a little more so as to make better eye contact with the taller Servant. "...If you say that, Count, can I ask you something before you go back to Aya-san?"

"Why, a little flower like you, asking me a question?" Dantes threw his head back to laugh out loud, but Vy still sat quietly to wait for him to finish. A few seconds later, he stopped, lowering his head and kneeling down so that Vy wouldn't be craning her neck so much to meet his eyes. He was still taller than her by quite a few centimeters in spite of the kneeling, not helped by how Vy was sitting, but he still said in a gentler voice, "Go ahead. I shall make the time for you to speak freely."

Vy pursued her lips. Okay. She had permission. But, was it really okay?

To voice such a silly thing...

Her heart beat once, twice, then—

"...Do you think I'm helping Aya-san enough, Count?"

Dantes slowly blinked at her, clearly not expecting her voiced line of thought. "...Helping?" he echoed.

Vy blushed, turning her head away and ignoring the urge to clutch at the hems of her cape provided by her Mages' Association uniform. "Aye," she admitted. "I'm just wondering, really, if... if I'm really helping her. That's all."

Dantes stayed remarkably silent.

Vy flubbed, feeling heat start to climb up her cheeks. The faint scent of expensive tobacco wafting off of Dantes from the closeness wasn't exactly helping much. Vy couldn't wish for Robin Hood or some of the other Servants to come to her rescue right now. She made this bed. It was time to lie in it. "I-I mean, I know we're fellow Masters! And in a time like the Incineration of Humanity, we're supposed to help each other!" But, but—my mana levels suck, I overwork a lot without meaning to, I can't help but sleep in sometimes when I'm tired, I— "But, but sometimes I wonder," Vy said instead, taking a few deep breaths to try calming the anxiety starting to wash over her brain. "...To a Servant like you, Count, who's been with Aya-san since the beginning, am I..."

"..."

Am I strong enough? Am I good enough?

Am I helping her enough?

"Am I being a good enough friend to her?" It took all of Vy's courage to turn her head back to look into the Count's yellow eyes. Even with her cracking, higher-pitched voice, she finished her bit with a tinier, "What do you think, Count?"

The ball was in his court now. Edmond Dantes could judge in whatever way he wanted at this point. And it was because of that Vy was scared.

Still, Dantes blinked at her again. His shoulders seemed to relax as soon as Vy was looking at him, and Vy blinked back once he raised one hand.

Vy probably should've expected Dantes to rest said hand on top of her head again, but she still flinched once his fingers brushed her hair. The look in his yellow eyes as he did this reflected a lot of things.

Wonder, amazement, and... and gratitude?

"...Vy," Count said finally, a long exhale following the call of her name. "Little flower, to my Accomplice, you are a guiding light post."

"Light...post?"

Dantes merely patted her head again, and the smile on his lips seemed sad in spite of the warmth reflected in his yellow eyes.

"It should be obvious to even you that Ayako walks the depths of hell. For her, my Accomplice, I would gladly follow her into hell," he elaborated, his hand still patting Vy's head. The touch was cold, but still gentle. "But for you, little flower..."

"Muu?"

Dantes sighed at the unsaid question Vy posed through one of her instinctual noises, pulling Vy in by the back of her head as a response. Vy did her best not to wince once his forehead hit hers. Still, she thought, Ow.

Yet somehow, through the sparkles that blew up in her vision from the sudden headbutt, Vy could faintly see Dantes smile again.

"Vy, my Accomplice would not be alive without you. And for a little flower of change like you, I would gladly walk into the light I abhor just to see you bloom again."

Vy blinked, just once, and with the sparkles gone from her eyes, Dantes too had disappeared.

[twistedcharismaaa]

Happy Birthday

Summary: Aldis’ plea is finally heard.

Author’s Note: Hi guyssss! I hope you are doing well! I’m back with something new! It’s a little ... different but I hope you guys enjoy! Please leave a comment for ya girl! I love you guys so much!!! 

He was searching for something deeper - something that he couldn’t easily put into words. Something that felt beyond him as if it was physically unattainable. Spiritual maybe? It was utterly inescapable, continuously plaguing his mind night after night gnawing at his thoughts like blackened crows. Imprisoned, forced to consume this feeling in his drinks, in his food, in his literature, and in his music as if he was endlessly damned. He screamed his frustrations to deafened ears and mourned to the blind. The only friend he knew was loneliness and he wished to know more - to be more. Something more than a shipwrecked mess but, as time passed he settled into bitterness as if they were silk sheets. Completely comfortable in being uncomfortable. 

Another night, Aldis sat at his kitchen table drinking the clear liquid before him as if it was water. His eyes became glossed over with tiredness as his lips pressed against the rim of the cool glass letting his drunkenness shift into dark intoxication. Gradually his breathing slowed. With each drawing breath, his eyelids became as heavy as burdens. Finishing his drink with impure intentions he grunted loudly before slamming the glass on the walnut-colored table. Relying fully on the table’s solidity, Aldis staggered to his feet. He swayed back and forth like trees in a harsh wind as he traveled down the hall. After swinging his bedroom door open with accidental aggression, he teetered to his bed. Carelessly he plopped himself on the bed. He rested his aching mind on the plushness of the pillow and stared out of the window. With blurred vision he watched the rain pour harshly on his windowpane. He observed the rain crash onto his window like liberated ocean waves until he fell asleep. 

After several hours he opened his eyes and saw her. A shimmering brown-skinned goddess laying her head cozily on the pillow beside him as if she belonged. She stared into his midnight-colored eyes as if she was searching for something. She wore a gentle smile on her parted lips as she gently stroked her golden necklace. Still staring into him, she fingered the medallion that rested in the center of her chest casually inching closer to him. Silently, she reached out to him slowly cupping his face gradually caressing it with tenderness. Even though Aldis was startled by the nameless stranger in his home, he couldn’t help but melt into her touch. He didn’t know if she was casting some type of spell or if this was her natural aura but, he felt peace. He enjoyed the way her thumb repeatedly brushed against his lonely cheek and the background noise of the thunder rumbling. His curious eyes wandered her soft features as if he was walking through an art gallery. Her skin was coated in the purest brown sugar and topped in the sweetest honey. He noticed the eerie makeup that tainted her almond complexion adding contrast to her light nature. As minutes passed, it seemed as if her coffee-colored eyes began to pierce through him. He placed his hand on top of hers as he closed his eyes reveling in the warmness of her palm as if he was at her mercy. He sighed deeply as he felt his hand become wet from his own hushed tears. 

“I feel your pain,” the woman said earnestly.

“What is wrong with me?” he whispered in desperation.

“This world just isn’t enough for you. That’s all,” she responded. 

Aldis opened his eyes, removed his hand from hers, and placed it on the mattress. The woman withdrew her hand from his cheek and settled it on her pillow. Aldis turned away from the stranger to lay flat on his back giving him a new comfortable position. 

“I’m drunk,” he chuckled to himself while shaking his head.

“That’s true. But that doesn’t mean I’m not real,” she replied.

“Who are you?” he quizzed while staring at his white ceiling above.

“That doesn’t matter. But you can call me Aya,” she answered.

“Well, Aya, how did you find me?” Aldis questioned.

“I come to those who call out for me,” she said as she turned away from Aldis mimicking his current position.

“I don’t know you. So how could I possibly call out for you?” he asked as his brows furrowed from the confusion.

“You called me through your pain. I have many unique gifts and one of them is hearing the unheard,” she answered candidly.

“So if someone falls down and scrapes their knee, you come running?” he quizzed.

Aya felt the corners of her mouth curve upwards before she giggled.

“You’re funny,” she said. “Quite witty actually.” she continued. 

Aya lifted herself off the bed slowly. She sat up while swinging her legs off the side of the bed before standing upright. She put her hand on the chilled window as she watched the raindrops splatter on the windowpane. 

“But to answer your question, no. I only hear the uttermost of things. It’s like being drawn to something. I can’t exactly explain it to you fully. But I was drawn to you - I am drawn to you,” she said as she turned away from the window to face him.

Aldis turned his neck towards her and watched her quietly for a brief moment before sitting up. As he sat up, he was welcomed by an unfavorable headache. He swung his legs to the side of the bed and stood up gradually. He walked over to Aya fully towering her with his height. She looked up to him with eyes full of compassion.

“How do I live in a world that isn’t enough?” he asked candidly.

“You don’t. You make your own,” she answered confidently.

“How do I do that?” he questioned.

Aya looked down then back to him with a cunning look on her face.

“Rebirth,” she replied.

“Rebirth insinuates that something or someone must die,”

“It does,” she answered while nodding.

Aldis squinted his eyes as he sat back on his messy bed. He twiddled his thumbs repeatedly as he contemplated his next words. He bounced his right leg constantly as if he was nervous.

“You came to kill me,” he said. “You came to kill me,” he echoed.

“Aldis, do you trust me?” she asked kindly while extending her palm towards him.

“I’m so tired,” he answered with sorrowful eyes. He placed his hand in hers accepting her invitation. 

“I don’t want to be tired anymore,” he continued.

“I know,” she answered softly. 

Aya grabbed Aldis’ free hand as she stared into his vulnerable eyes. Her coffee-colored eyes began to glow brighter than the sun. Low clouds began to fill the vacant air. Aya shifted her neck towards the left then the right. Wings protruded from her back and fluttered gracefully. She quickly wrapped her wings around Aldis as if he was in a cocoon. She blew a quick breath at him causing him to feel weak. She released his hands and immediately seized his face.

“Every night you screamed to the heavens, I heard you. Every day you ached for peace, I felt it. I hear you, Aldis. You are heard and I promise your death will be glorious.” she whispered.

She smiled at Aldis once more before biting into his neck. She felt his warm blood glide down her throat like fine wine. Aldis’ eyes began to roll towards the back of his head as he felt himself losing consciousness. His mouth became agape as if he was gasping for air that wasn’t there. Aya removed her mouth from his neck as she watched a clear substance grow on his skin. The substance coated his sunkissed pigment forming a visible cocoon. Aya removed her wings and stepped back watching the cocoon grow rapidly. As Aldis took his last breath, the cocoon covered his face entirely.

“Happy Birthday, Aldis,” she spoke.

-----

Part 2

@ghostfacekill-monger @l-auteuse @thickemadame @shaekingshitup @chaneajoyyy @lostennyc @essaysbyciara @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade​ @thadelightfulone​ @sarcastic-sunshines​ @qweentbh​ @honeytoffee​ @mygirlrenee​ @lovesunnyandmary​ @fandomfavesss​ @anon-nom-nom95 @jamielennkeeler

[talesfromthegameff14]

Prompt #12 - (Freebie) - Reparation

Writing Music: https://youtu.be/XpvjilyeYd0 Content Warning: Death

Neither Tolemy or Zareen really wanted him to leave, they agreed, but also worried about him being alone. Aya couldn’t argue against the concern, but he could insist in soft but urgent tones that his need was worth the risk. Something was pulling him back to... no that wasn’t right. His grandfather was pulling him back to the caves, the offer of safety whispered on the lips of the Elder but with the voice of Oktai was a siren call that he couldn’t ignore any longer.

Come when you can’t hold any longer, when the monster’s claws are around your heart, when you are out of time but you have no answers. Come to Reflection, dance with the flame, dance with time, and take some back.

The words echoed in Aya’s horns as he took the longer trip from Reunion to the Uyagir caves instead of the shorter trip from the Dawn Throne. The last thing he wanted to do was run into Ganzorig while doing this, that man could stir his temper faster than anyone alive, something Aya was avoiding at all costs. Instead he took his time to enjoy the familiar scent of the crisp summer grass, avoiding areas where there was good hunting in preference for open ground where the stallion could run flat out with minimal concerns. The sun was setting when he made his way into the caves, tending to his horse himself before heading into the main living area. The steady hum of the evening’s preparations only flickered briefly when he came into view, a stark contrast to the first few times the Seer entered the place he was born. What was different were the reactions, a good portion were friendly and welcoming, some even expressing genuine concern for how haggard the man looked. Others were scornful, casting discrete looks of skepticism to hate his way. Once most kept their own council, but now the caves were well divided in their reaction to him. As usual, Aya ignored the glares, doing his best to return the greetings that meant well without stopping for long and without eating anything either despite the various offerings to join them for the evening meal. Trust food from this tribe? He’d rather starve. The elder wasn’t among those gathered in the main cave and while it wasn’t unusual, it still sent a frisson of alarm up Aya’s spine and quickened his steps to the living area where the Elders gathered. Elder in this case, the rheumy eyed xaela standing at the juncture of tunnels where only Seers, Keepers, and the Elders were allowed. Seeing the familiar figure leaning on his walking staff brought Aya up short, relief showing in the quick exhale before he bowed in greeting to the older xaela. <“Elder, it is good to..> <“No time Seer.”>, the Elder interrupted in a voice gone hoarse from disuse, <”The wind brought you here, for respite. The shadows nip at your heels, you waited too long son. Too long, but it’s not too late.”> <”I...”> The Elder cut Aya off again with a sharp gesture of his hand before beckoning the younger man to follow. Confused, but unable to deny the truth, Aya nodded before trailing behind into the maze of caves that lead to the hot springs for cleansing. <”Strip down and cleanse yourself as you did for your trial. You’ll find the implements you’ll need on the way to the Spring of Memory. Then listen, you’ll be told what to do.”> There was an odd note to the Elder’s words, as if they were being spoken by two at once instead of the one before Aya. Both voices were known to the Seer and he bowed deeply before going to do as instructed. The searing water was no less painful than it was the first time, yet when Aya broke the surface of the stinging, mineral laden water to draw breath it was different. Not just his skin felt raw, but his throat, his lungs, and he’d fancy even his soul did as he stepped out of the pool. The water swirled behind him, rivers of dark mixing with the opalescence that glimmered on the surface once he submerged himself. The oddity went unnoticed, the xaela’s focus shifting to what was coming, not what he left behind. The worn and tattered bag was waiting as promised, though it was his bare foot that found it and not his eyes in the all encompassing darkness of this section of the caves. It was part of the trial, to find ones way from standing to crawling until... yes. That was it. A breath of fresh air. It took forever and only five more fulms on his hands and knees before the cave opened up into one that was forever engraved upon Aya’s memory. Each rune upon the floor was part of his memory now, a life lived by Seer’s past and written on stone for the future to See if they were able. Standing up carefully, Aya walked to the pool in the center, kneeling before the channel where he spilt his blood to claim what was his. He stared into the

inky water for a long time before opening the sack with hands gone shaky from fatigue. That didn’t bode well at all. Within were two pouches of aether sand and a single crystal that was warm to the touch. Confusion burbled up briefly before Aya took a deep breath and slowly exhaled to clear his mind. Find peace, inhale it, feed your soul with it. Find the fear, exhale it out of your body and soul, let it fly away to the stars where it could bother no one. His hands steadied and the wind caressed his bare skin, causing his hair to flutter one way then another as it instructed him in what to do. Lightning to one side of the channel, inscribe Dominion. Wind to the other side, finish the combined rune with Memory. Then turn the duo into a triad, tracing life on the axis between in his blood that dripped from a slice carved onto his left palm. One drop and the wind roared. Another and the lightning sparked. A third and his vision swam in the flames that sparked until two became one, rheumy eyes overcast with a pink rimmed pair so close to his own peered up at him from the depths of the pool he knelt before. <”A gift, freely given grandson.”>, the wind whispered in an mingled roar of voices that were both gone and present. <”Time. We give what we have so you may find your way and live once more.”> Compelled by ritual and magic, Aya reached towards the pool, blood tipped claws hovering right above the flame filled depression but not any further. <”The gift is yours to claim.”> <”At what cost, Eld... Grandfather?”> <”The cost is ours to pay.”> <”AT WHAT COST??”> The silence held Aya’s answer, a rune behind him flaring to life in a gleam of fire edged purple to tell the tale. There was no hiding here in the place of living memory. A gift of time at the cost of a legacy, to exist no more. A true death, to be cast outside of memory and never walk beyond The River again. <”No.”> <”You must. It’s freely given grandson.”> <”No, there must be another way. There always is.”> More runes lit up as Aya sought out the answer, one that consumed the light of the others provided the means. Like called to like, time could be given, but it could be stolen too. There was a cost, as with all things, but better to pay that then be consumed by the void within. <”No! Not that way.”>, the twin voices wailed as Aya reached along the ties of blood, past the two that offered the gift to the Dawn Throne. There another slept who could provide, one who was doomed to suffer the failure of his body and mind as he lived out his twilight years surrounded by the tribe that valued strength over all. <”He’s given me nothing, he can give me this.”> <”He gave you life.”> <”He managed to rut within the body of the bitch that bore me, nothing more.”> The bitterness in that statement silenced the gift givers, giving Aya a chance to latch ghostly claws into the slumbering soul of his sire and pull. Breath rattled in the lungs of the one sleeping in the yellow yurt of the Oronir, eyes opening but not as Ganzorig stared upwards at his son many malms away from his dying body. Free of the form that poisoned his thoughts and turned them to confusion and bolstered by the two that lead Aya to this point, the old Oronir could see in that moment what was to be. Gold quivered in Aya’s claws before that reviled voice whispered, <”Freely given son. I am an old fool, but I can give you this. Take my time and find your way.”> Aya froze, staring at the core of Ganzorig, the soul shimmering into a figure much younger and hale. The gleaming, ghostly hands reached up to cup Aya’s cheeks before the fading figure leaned over to kiss each of his son’s voidmarked cheeks. <”I am proud of you, you're a stronger man than I ever was.”> And with that the last of Ganzorig’s life was spent, the gleaming motes of aether sinking into Aya’s skin and deeper still until it was a layer of gold edged armor between the Seer’s soul and the Void that hunted him. The motes of memory were the first thing to go still, the runes returning to carvings in the floor and nothing more. Then the aethersand fizzled and popped until the dusty remnants were whisked away by the dancing breeze. The voices left next, confused and worried, but their murmurs were lost on Aya, horns filled with Ganzorig’s last words as tears steamed ceaselessly down his cheeks.

As the wind died down, leaving all in the Cave of Memories calm and still, an anguished cry rang out over the usual morning prayers to Azim on the Dawn Throne. The sobbing woman shaking an old man in his bed, trying to wake him up despite how cold and still he was.

[fuwafuwamedb]

From Utu’s Temple Pt 2 (Gilgamesh, Siduri)

Thus far: 1

__

Eight Years Later

__

She’d escaped the temple again.

Weaving her way through the crowds of marketplace people, her cloak firmly wrapped around her body, Gula couldn’t help but to be excited about the adventure today. Her brother was so careful, guarding her like a lost treasure. Her mother was so concerned about them venturing out, keeping close to Grandpa Utu and Grandma Aya.

However, she knew nothing was better than the river breeze after a heavy rain. The large puddles were fun to splash in, muddying her skirts and cloak. The riverside was filled with fish who’d jumped out of the water in the heavy rains, thinking themselves amongst the currents. She’d dug a careful hole earlier in the day, before the others had awakened and while the earth was soft. Now she could see the fruits of her labor.

Her mother always said that meat was a delicacy. Today she would bring lots home.

Gula hurried up, scooting around a stray horse and beneath the large bridge that went from one side of the great Euphrates to the other. She could see the overflowing river. She could see some smelly dead fish, being pecked away at by the scavenger birds.

Her hole was filled though, a splashing showing signs of success.

“Yes!” Gula cheered, quickening her pace. She pulled the pouch from beneath her cloak, setting it down upon the soft earth and opening it.

Her brother’s knife from Grandpa Utu was in hand in a flash, slicing one after another of her catch.

She set each carefully into her pouch, pleased at the size and the colors of them all.

There were eight. They’d be dining like a king!

“YOU! THERE!”

Gula jumped, scrambling to pick up her pouch as a set of men appeared. Their grip was upon a figure, the man’s golden armor was coated in blood.

“GIRL!”

She ran for it, but the others were closing in. She could see the symbols on their armor. She knew those medallions from her grandmother’s teachings.

Nippur citizens!

If they were hurting someone, then it was an Uruk person.

Their hands grabbed at her cloak, yanking her back. She couldn’t think, not at the sight of a knife. She spun her twin’s blade in her hands, sending it into the face of the man holding her. The heel of her other hand slammed it home, yanking it out as another went to grab her.

Her hand rose, blasting energy into the faces of the other three.

She didn’t think, only felt. She felt scared. She felt lightning in her veins, spurring her like Iskur’s mightiest storms. She flew from one to the next, slamming blow after blow.

But then a shadow rose.

She could feel their presence as her blade went flying out of hand. She could see the man’s eyes, the whites of them reflecting her own face. Her mouth was open, a sound escaping-

Gold flashed before her.

A sharp squishing sound met her ears, blood pouring towards her as she saw the assailant falling. The man from before, the golden armored man who had been being carried, was now before her. There was a large slash and crack in his armor.

“…M-Mister!”

Gula felt a lump forming in her throat. Her vision was swimming as the man pulled away from the bad man. He was looking to her.

“Mister! You’re hurt!”

“Your eyes…”

The man looked so much like Grandpa Utu and her brother. Gula couldn’t help but to feel the water around her eyes falling forth. She had to rub at her face with her sleeves, pulling at the armor and looking at all the blood.

The wounds were bad, worse now that the sword of the bad man had been pulled out.

He wouldn’t live if she left him like this. She needed her brother, Ur-Nungal here. He would have been able to help this man. He always was teasing her at being bad at magic. He always warned her that she would need the magic at some point and she would be useless.

“…I-I’m sorry.” She couldn’t help it. Her voice cracked as she looked at the pretty man, feeling her heart tear in two. “I should have listened to my twin. I-I can’t do magic well. I can’t-“

“You can do magic?”

His voice was just like her brother’s. Gula nodded to him, feeling her chest shaking in soundless sobs.

“Do you have the energy? Right now?”

The man was pulling off his armor more, throwing it aside as he looked to her.

“Girl, do you have that power right now?”

“I’m not good at magic. My ummum and brother can. My ummum is the best. My twin and I were born from a half god and my ummum. My brother can do anything-“

“You can do this.”

She shook her head, her sobs beginning to escape.

“Shhhh,” the man murmured. “Shhh, there is no time for finding help. I feel my senses fading already. You merely need to hold onto my shoulders and imagine the wounds closed. Imagine me without the pain and torn up chest. Can you do that?”

“I have to do more though-“

“Listen. To. Me.”

He made her look into his eyes, his gaze dark and focused.

“Can. You. Imagine me without the pain and wounds?”

Gula nodded.

“We do this together,” he told her, keeping that gaze. His hands moved hers to his shoulders, holding them there. “What is your name?”

“Gula. I was named after my grandmother and patron goddess… OH! But don’t tell my ummum that I picked a goddess!”

“Gula, focus.” The man held her hands to his shoulders. “Close your eyes. Imagine giving me the energy to heal. Wish all the pain away.”

Right.

It wasn’t much, but she had to try. She had to do something.

Her eyes closed, her thoughts focusing only on seeing the man able to stand and run again. She wanted the man like her brother and grandfather to be able to laugh and feel better again. He didn’t need to die here, like the fish being eaten by the buzzards. He was too pretty. He was too kind in saving her.

“You’re doing well,” the man murmured. “You are doing very well. Just a little more, Gula. I will be fine from there.”

She pushed for more power, giving as much as she could.

Her eyes opened as she felt her body swaying.

“I’ve got you.” The man wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close as she saw the wound was closed. “You did well. I am healed and you’ve saved the great king of Uruk. Let none tell you that you cannot use magic.”

“I did it?” Her eyes drifted up to his, earning a soft smile.

“I am able to breathe and function again because of you, little one. You’ve done your family proud. Your goddess would be pleased to hear that someone of her namesake saved her son’s life.”

“Ninsun is my abum’s ummum too.” She closed her eyes, humming happily. “I can’t wait to tell my brother that I saved someone with magic. He teases me too much.”

“…Your father is the child of Ninsun?”

“Mhmm.” Gula leaned against the man. “I left my fish beneath the bridge. I caught them for Ummum since she was feeling lonely and sad again. I think she misses my abum.”

The man nudged her gently. “What is her name?”

“Ummum is named Hakuno.”

“Hakuno… Hakuno…”

Gula glanced up, watching the man looked at her once more. His eyes were strange like hers, making her reach up and touch his cheek.

She frowned.

“Why do you have strange eyes like mine?”

“Child-“ he shook his head as he said that. “Gula, your eyes are exact copies of mine. As is this power of yours. It is little wonder you’ve done this… You said you had a twin brother?”

“Mhmm.” Gula closed her eyes again. “And Ummum and Grandpa Utu and Grandma Aya. Utu and Aya keep us in their temple. Grandma says it’s dangerous to let anyone see us outside the temple. Someone may tell the bad guards that hurt ummum.”

“Gula-“

“I’m sleepy.”

The man sighed, standing up with her in his arms. She could feel him adjusting her around, turning to head towards the kingdom.

“Please don’t leave my fishies and my brother’s knife. I took the knife without asking.”

“Thievery?”

“Ur doesn’t share his weapons. He has more knives and he’s just mean.”

She hummed at the soft kiss to her forehead. It felt like ummum’s own, except with rough little hairs from the man’s chin.

“Mister-“

“I’ll grab your meager knife and fish. Close your eyes and rest for now. We’ll return to Uruk and I will ensure that you are cleaned up before we inform the temple of Utu of your presence.”

She nodded, letting the fatigue take over.

The man was safe and alive. She’d been like the great magicians in their storybooks. She’d managed what many adults could never do.

One day, she’d protect her twin brother and they’d roam all over the kingdom of Uruk, free from cloaks and able to laugh like the other children.

Maybe they could wear nice clothes too.

“I will keep you with me, little treasure,” the golden haired man told her. “Let us return to my ziggurat.”

“Don’t forget my fish,” she mumbled in a slur of words.

His soft chuckle welcomed her to sleep.

~~

“My king!”

Siduri was the first to reach him at the palace doors, her face paling at his muddied and bloodied appearance. The guards had taken the heavy pouch of fish and the girl’s knife was in his gates, safe and sound from being taken.

Speaking of the girl...

“Siduri,” Gilgamesh held up the girl in his arms, frowning. “Call forth the guards, inform them to head into the audience chamber for me. And find me servants. This girl needs to be bathed and dressed properly.”

“Properly?”

“I have children.”

The woman stared at him as though he’d lost his mind. A natural reaction, all things considered. There had never been so much as a whisper of a child of his. His maidens whom he took pleasure in never bore him so much as a headache, opting to simply revel in further lust and senseless greed.

“She shares my eyes and my mother’s voice and power. Along with that, she has my mother’s own name for herself. Gula.”

“Gula?”

It was ironic, he knew. Then again, he recalled slightly the woman whose face this child shared. Hakuno. If he remembered right, she’d been a magician. She’d been a phenomenal bed companion. 

Her death, his close advisor and the guards had informed him about, had left him disappointed.

Something had been amiss then. He should have guessed then, considering that advisor had grouped up with Nippur recently and caused him such trouble. Him and his useless daughter whom he’d slaughtered a week ago.

“...Is she... Is she alive, my king?”

“Hmm?” The question pulled him from his thoughts, making him glance to Gula. “Yes, she’s alive. She’s a child though. innocent as they come. Have a bed for her set up in my chambers in case she does not wish to rest beside her father.”

“You intend to claim her?”

“Siduri, my daughter slaughtered a handful of men and assisted me when it was most appropriate.”

He could still hear her crying over being unable to help him, a stranger, to feel better. The girl was without influence, purer than the clearest jewels in his collections. Ah, but then-

“I’ll take her to bathe myself.”

Siduri pulled back as he passed her, heading for the bathing chambers. 

“Prepare her bed in my room and inform the guards to assemble in my audience chamber.” 

“May I know what for, my king?”

“Later, you will see.”

She would be finding him servants to clean up the bodies when he was through with them. 

[iamnightduchess]

Happy two years anniversary of as you are , Thank you so much for this amazing story ,I hope you didn't give up on it , And please always remember that you are an amazing writer and beautiful person, keep up the good work ,And can't wait for the next chapter ~ Sarah ❤

Thank you!!  ❤

Hello my dear Sarah, you remembered AYA’s anniversary~! 

Thank you, thank you so much, dear for not only the anniversary wish but for also being an awesome supporter of As You Are. I do remember each and every one of my commenters ❤ I am very, very honored to know that this story holds a special place inside your heart ever since I first published it on AO3 in 2018, just like how each and every one of you dear readers has made a home inside mine. I feel like I’m in a way, letting all of my readers down since the story’s still ongoing and only delving into the second arc towards the end of the next chapter. One thing that I absolutely know is that I will NEVER give up on As You Are until its completion.

Comments and Asks like yours humbled me so much. I do not deserve such kindness but thank you from the bottom of my heart. ❤

I truly apologize for another long wait for ch.12 (my revision & rewriting process are also my biggest hurdle on top of the unpredictability that the global pandemic threw at my family) but here’s a short small gift to you & my darling readers out there:

A snippet of As You Are, Ch.12 (rough/yet-to-be-revised version) below:

WARNING: Contains description of adult scenes in nature

As You Are

Chapter 12 - Working Title: You could call it love, you could call it nothing (rough/unedited draft)

---

Gabi’s mouth gaped open, eyes widened like a fish out of water upon the vision greeting her sudden intrusion -- her older cousin on top of Miss Ackerman amidst the crumpled crimson sheets and disheveled state of clothing. The muscles on Reiner’s hands could be seen straining as he seemed to be holding back his own weight from crashing down on Mikasa’s more slender form, who tried to hide her reddening face within the folds of Reiner’s parted robe. Even her older cousin himself is having difficulty to look up directly at the two early guests in their eyes.

The little girl squeaked, “Reiner! Why are you hurting Mikasa?”

Wait, what?

Reiner bit the insides of his cheeks to prevent himself from breaking into an unwarranted chuckle, but he produced a grunt instead when his bride poked him hard using her elbow.

Apparently, the impact of her touch vibrated through his abdomen, quivering down the rest of his lower body, which apparently was still conjoined with his blushing new wife. She could feel the same vibrations too and Mikasa had to bit her lower lips in her own struggle to hold down an unsavory moan herself, lest she would make a big fool out of herself despite the teasing sensation against the more sensitive parts inside her. Still winding down from the aftermath of her first ever release.

Thank God their modesty was still hidden between the bunched up satins.

“Of course not, Gabi.” Reiner shook his head in response, trying to maneuver their way out of a rather potentially embarrassing situation. He looked down at the woman underneath him and asked, “Am I hurting you, Mikasa?”

All while she could feel his softening member’s twitching muscles from within, sending short shivers up her spine, threatening to trigger another post-orgasmic reaction from before.

Her pathetic lips could only whisper a small ‘no’. 

The corners of the young lord’s lips curved upwards into a devious smirk. “We had a minor ‘disagreement’ earlier but we resolved it ‘amicably’ and we could really use more time ‘gather our bearings’ and get ready for the day,” explained Reiner in a cryptic nature that could only be deciphered by a young adult, which, thankfully, were picked up on by Mikasa’s handmaiden.

“Huh?” A confused Gabi shook her head, trying so hard to comprehend information that she would only succeed to understand in the next seven or eight years. Fifteen, if it was up to Reiner.

“You guys were sparring?”

Reiner nodded, agreeing with another one of Gabi’s immaculate misconceptions. “Yes, Gabi. We were ‘sparring’.” With almost nothing on.

Akane bowed down hastily, preparing to take her leave with Gabi. She would carry that little girl under her arms if she had to.

The future of their empire is at stake.

“Let’s wait for Lord Reiner and the Lady Mikasa in the dining room, Ms. Gabi.”

“But--”

Akane tapped her chin lightly with a finger before good-naturedly suggesting, “Oh, I just remembered! I’ve left some peaches and cream pie baking in the oven. Just like the one you said your mother used to make for you back home.”

“Can’t I wait here for Mikasa?”

“Alright but I promised young Mr. Grice a big piece of the pie before breakfast since he’s helping me to set up the table right now.” 

At the mention of Falco’s name, Gabi’s cheeks puffed in annoyance. “Not fair, Akane. You never asked me for help! I am so much better than Falco in everything.” The little girl loses the battle against her own stubbornness and competitive streak before kicking her legs in stride towards the dining hall. There’s no way she would lose to Falco!

The young Hizuru maiden bowed down to take her leave, respectfully averting her gaze to ease her lord and lady’s situation. “I truly apologize for my carelessness, milord, milady. Please take your time. I’ll make sure this chamber remains undisturbed for the whole day.”

Gripping the front of her own yukata tightly within her grasp, Mikasa shook her head. “There’s no need for the trouble, Akane. I--we’ll be there shortly.”

As soon as the retreating figure disappeared and the click of the closed door could be heard, Mikasa tried to push against the much heavier figure of the Marley War Chief. “We should get cleaned up.” She pushed slightly harder, yet he did not even budge an inch. As if she had never even touched him at all.

Odd….. The afterthought became lost in the myriad of haunting assaults that came from the tip of his nose and the warmth of his breath.

Reiner nuzzled lazily at the spot below her ear, admiring the prickling tiny goosebumps adorning the pale porcelain skin there and uttered an unhurried response in return. “Stay in bed for a little while?”

A small sigh escaped her lips the moment she felt the edges of his teeth seizing her skin. Her pulse jolted in retaliation. “You have a fleet to run.” Her protest was as feeble as a loose feather in the tranquil morning breeze, floating freely to where the wind blows -- truly living in the moment.

“I have help. Right now, my main duty is here.” His unrelenting mouth ghosted open mouth kisses from her collarbone all the way down towards the valley of her breasts, still damped and flushed from their mid-coital exertions.

He could really get used to this.

Dutiful after all was his middle name.

“Reiner?”

“Hmm?” He didn’t even look up from his torturous pursuit.

“Pull out. Please. I need to shower. Again.”

---

I hope this could ease the long waiting period while I continue to complete the full chapter 12.

Thank you once again for your neverending support.

Till then, take care, stay safe and see you once the chapter’s live!

xoxo,

queenofidealism a.k.a NightDuchess (AO3)

[purplesurveys]

1025

Have you ever started reading a book and wondered if you’d read it before? I don’t read all that often so no, I don’t usually feel as though I’m encountering a book for the second time. I do read a lot of wrestlers’ memoirs and sometimes I’ll come across the same story told from two different accounts, but for the most part I’m able to tell who wrote which.

What has been bothering you a lot lately? This new and major life change still, obviously. I had a beautiful, grand vision of graduating college with a significant other and building our future together and supporting each other in whatever path we take, so having to dismantle all of that against my will and calling it a ‘bother’ is definitely an understatement.

What (or who) have you been missing lately? Everything pre-September. My life has been going downhill ever since. I do try to make life a little better for myself everyday, but I’d be lying to myself if I say life has been the same.

Are you trustworthy? Yes.

Did your parents teach that white lies were ok? They never taught me this specifically, but I can imagine that my mom is more the type to tell me something like this should the need arise.

Have you ever hallucinated? I don’t think so. The closest thing to hallucinating I experienced was when I was 5. I had a high fever and kept having these awful nightmares, and I could barely tell the difference between being in the nightmare and real life. If I remember correctly, I had already woken up after my grandma shook me but I was still in the nightmare ~AU~ and still kept yelling things that were relevant in my nightmare.

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? OMG, closed all the way. It would bother me to no end if the door was open, to the point that I probably wouldn’t even be able to fall asleep.

What flags do you have in your room, if any? I used to have a Pride flag but that’s gone now cos it was too muddy and dirty anyway. 

What (or who) is the best thing that ever happened to you? I can think of more than one, honestly. There’s Gabie, my college life, my college org, and my first job that I’m actually incredibly happy in. Past me just wanted a job that can let me earn on my own, so it’s such a fun bonus to be happy where I am.

What is the worst decision you ever made? Allowing myself to be treated like shit because “this person will change one day, I just have to wait.” Ugh, I really need to start being nicer to myself.

Do you miss college? Yeah but with this COVID thing I’m kinda glad I got out of there just in time. I probably would’ve missed college a lot more if life had remained normal, but with the new norm being online classes and asynchronous learning and never getting to be in campus...I preferably wouldn’t want to take part in these things.

Have you ever called a teacher “mom”? No.

What is your favorite arcade game? I just go for the basketball ones every time. The piano blocks game is also fun, as well as the arcade beer pong.

Do you feel neglected? Yeah. I don’t really have a choice, though. It’s something I’ve had to adjust to.

What school subject(s) are/were your best? For both high school and college, I got my best grades in history classes and electives. I’m one of the rare species who doesn’t have a problem with – and actually enjoys – memorization, lol. I also did well in English lit and biology.

Are you allergic to grass? I don’t believe I’m allergic but in my old school my legs used to get extremely irritated with the grass we have over there and it would itch like a bitch. It definitely could’ve be an allergy, but I only ever got such a reaction in that place and it’s never happened anywhere else.

Do you remember to water plants? My parents like to take care of that chore, so I don’t have to remember to do so.

What season is your birthday in? Uhhhh according to the Western calendar lol, I think it’s spring? We don’t have that here though, and we don’t follow ‘seasons’ in general except for dry and wet.

Name 3 creative people you know. Nina, Berns, Andi.

Name 3 YouTubers you aspire to be like. I don’t really aspire to be like any of them...I watch certain YouTube channels because I find them entertaining, not because I necessarily want to be them. One video creator I watch whose life seems to be so perfect and whose life I certainly wouldn’t complain about if I suddenly had it, though, is Andi Manzano. Heart Evangelista’s a good pick, too.

What color was your first car? It’s white.

What year did you graduate? I graduated high school in 2016 and college in 2020. < Found a twin.

When was the last time you saw the person you currently have feelings for? Early September.

Have you ever been scammed? Hmm, I don’t think so.

Are you allergic to pollen? Nope.

What style of wedding dress do you like best? Something lace, backless to an extent, and preferably body-hugging as I don’t like dresses that would appear too poofy on me. Think Kate Middleton’s wedding dress but just slightly less poof on the bottom part.

Are you over your first love? No.

Do you talk on the phone a lot? I used to. I don’t anymore.

Would you rather call or text? Text, but if I had to explain something or if something had to be explained to me, I don’t mind getting into a call as long as I’m briefed first. 

Do you always answer your phone? I never do unless I recognize the number. If it’s an unknown contact, I’m hitting Reject immediately because decent people text first before calling.

When was the last time you went to a party? Late Feb. It was the same party for Hans and his friends’ small business that had hit its first year that I’ve mentioned several times on here, ugh. Haven’t really been to any gatherings since then.

What was the last thing you ate? A chocolate donut from J.Co.

What’s the last book you checked out from the library? It’s a book summarizing the Philippines’ entire history that I wish I had more time to read and appreciate.

Do you have a twitter? Yeah but since the pandemic hit my tweets have been a lot less fun for obvious reasons, so I haven’t been using it a lot.

If so, what was the last thing you tweeted? “the things i do for @Mythical aaaaaahhhhhh 1 AM-9 AM livestream later and I still have work from 9 AM-6 PM tomorrow” then the dizzy emoji copy-pasted six times. SERIOUSLY though, timezones suck and I shake my fist at LA for being 16 hours behind lmaaaao, jk. But Good Mythical Morning has never had an all-day livestream before and they never said anything about archiving it on their channel when it’s over, so I don’t want to miss out. It’s whatevs, I’ll just drink a shitload of coffee tomorrow for work.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? I think it was my mom, but it’s been a while since that call.

What’s the last thing you cooked on the stove? I was making a Monte Cristo but it was to cook the egg mixture that I had coated the sandwich in, not cook the sandwich itself.

What color is the cover of the last notebook you used? Green. It was a freebie from the old PR agency I interned at, so it’s a little funny I’m now using it to take notes at my present agency.

Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? Gab’s youngest sister.

Who sent the last e-mail you got? It’s from a workmate, and I just got CC’d so it wasn’t addressed directly to me.

What song is currently stuck in your head? For the whole afternoon it had been Look After You by The Fray, so let’s just go with that.

Do you have a favorite shape? No.

What color are the sheets on your bed? Blue with some yellow and gold prints.

What time do you usually go to bed? 10:30 is a safe bedtime.

Do you ever use coloring books? I’ve got loads of them but they have not been colored since early 2019 because I have yet to invest in a good set of coloring pencils.

Are you planning on watching the Olympics? No, it never appealed to me.

Do you pronounce the word “often” with or without a “t” in the middle? I never pronounce it with the t sound.

Have you ever been on a trapeze? Nope.

Do you enjoy popping bubble wrap? I was more obsessed with it as a kid and will hoard the bubble wrap I see at home. These days I’d still pop a good size of it, but it’s not like my life anymore.

Are there any waterfalls near where you live? There’s one in the city, but I wouldn’t say it’s near. I have to drive to the upper part of the city to get to the waterfalls which would probably take me around a half hour to do.

Do you like seafood? Oh for sure. My life pretty much runs on seafood.

Have you ever had to wear a uniform for anything? I wore a school uniform from kindergarten all the way through to high school.

If so, what did it look like? The blouse was white while the necktie and the skirt were plaid, mostly in red. We also had to wear black leather shoes with white socks.

Do you personally know anyone who is an author? My great-uncle wrote the said library book I checked out. I also had a number of professors who are established authors.

Do you own a Polaroid camera? Nah but I’ve always wanted one. Maybe now’s my chance to finally get my own.

Do you enjoy baking? It looks fun and is definitely something I’d want to try my hand on.

What’s your favorite type of flower? Peonies. < Agreed.

Last time (if ever) you were on an airplane, where were you going? I was headed back to Manila and unbeknownst to us at the time, that arrival would be known for the biggest family argument we have had thus far. I don’t want to go back to that place in my head again, so let’s just move on.

Do you know anyone who is left-handed? Mhm, like Aya.

What is something you think is underrated? Macarons do not get enough love for sure. It’s god-tier dessert.

Around what temperature do you consider it to be too hot outside? As soon as it hits 30ºC, I’m complaining.

In what ways do you expect your life to be different one year from now? Thanks to Gabie and the irreparable mess she has since caused, I’m too scared to think of the future now. I never want to predict or hope for things anymore, and I’d rather wing shit from now on and not expect certain things to happen.

How often do you travel outside of the state/province you live in? I live right on the border of two regions so I literally went out of my home city/region every day whenever I had to report to school. I will be doing the same once where allowed to report in the workplace.

What’s a hobby you used to have, but don’t anymore? Reading.

What has been your favorite job you’ve had so far? I’ve only had one but it’s been a blast so far and I don’t plan on shifting paths because this is where I’ve always planned to be in. That said, I love my job in PR and working with different clients.

What’s your favorite kind of salsa/dip to go with tortilla chips? Sour cream!

Do you wash your car by hand or drive through a car wash? My parents take turns washing it by hand.

Where is the farthest north you’ve traveled to? Jeju, South Korea.

Farthest south? Bali, Indonesia.

East? Idk...Fukuoka in Japan or some province in the Philippines? I’m not too sure which is east-er, lmao.

West? Malaysia. Would’ve been Thailand if we actually got to go there this year -__- but whatever.

How often do you run the dishwasher? We don’t have one.

Do you wash your face at the sink or in the shower? Eh, either is fine but I do it at the sink a little more often.

Name a stereotype about your gender that you don’t fit. I cannot for the life of me relate to makeup or skincare routines. I also never understood the appeal of Instagram and posing for photos in public and painstakingly editing them for likes.

Name a stereotype about your age that you don’t fit. ^ I think those still fit here, since people my age are into both.

Do you have any unusual decorations in your home? We have masquerade masks on our living room table and I don’t understand why my mom, queen of throwing things out, is not throwing them out. It’s such a random...addition and they don’t go with the vibe of the house at all. But they’ve been hanging out there for so long that my family doesn’t even notice anymore, and much less do they say anything about them.

Do you have any uncommon kitchen appliances, such as espresso machines, waffle irons, etc? We have a coffee maker, which is a bit of a unnecessary/luxury purchase where I live; I dunno if it’s the same for other countries. My dad’s a chef so he knows all the tips and hacks to be resourceful in the kitchen, and so he’s never felt the need to buy any other fancy shmancy kitchen stuff like air fryers or waffle irons or sandwich presses.

What did your parents major/minor in in college, if they went? They both took up hotel and restaurant management, just in different universities.

Has either of their careers influenced what career you chose or want to pursue? HAHAHAHA, not at all. People are often surprised when I tell them about what my parents do for living which is understandable, given that journalism and PR are such far cries from the hospitality industry as a whole.

What is the highest level math class you’ve completed? Trig and calc.

How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike? ...I’m still learning...

How old were you when you learned how to swim? Around 4 or 5. My parents liked taking us to this water park every weekend when my siblings and I were a lot younger, so I learned how to handle myself in the water from all those trips.

How do you react when someone is rude to you? If it’s someone I know and am close with, I just tell them directly that they’re having a bit of an attitude with me. If it’s anyone else, my reaction depends on my mood: if I’m feeling nice I just simply counter the rudeness with kindness, but sometimes I’ll be just as big of a bitch, just subtle.

Have you ever had a friend who was too clingy? Yes, back in middle school. I feel bad now, because I kind of just ditched her, but at the time I felt like it was my only option. < I remember being like this with someone Gab and I tried to be friends with back in Grade 7. Sofie was also a little clingy, but in a way that I never minded it because I actually enjoyed her company.

What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Typhoons, definitely.

Why is your least favorite season your least favorite? The dry season, because I hate the sun.

Do you have a Netflix account? We have a family bundle and I have my own account on that. But yeah, I don’t pay for it.

Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? We don’t have an attic but there was one time a stray cat got into the house and it took forever to get it back out, lol. It was feisty so we couldn’t just pick it up. The cat also ended up scratching some of our curtains.

Where is your favorite place to go on vacation? Anywhere new, man. My only traveling rule is to not repeat destinations, at least not within 5-7 years. I’m open to exploring any town or city or country I’ve never been to.

How long does it take to get there? -

When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? It was a new chapter last August when I graduated college, but I had to very hurriedly turn the page into a new chapter when I got my internship - that would eventually lead to my first job - and went through a breakup last September.

What room in your home do you spend the least amount of time in? I rarely go inside my sister’s room, just because there’s never really any reason to be there unless I’m borrowing something from her.

What is the last random act of kindness you did? Gave a small tip to the nice man who helped me get out of my parking spot when I went to the bank yesterday. Loiterers are common in public areas and they’ll usually help out people exiting from their parking, so I usually give whatever I can to help them get by. 

Do you do anything to reduce the amount of electricity you use? My bedroom light is never turned on, but I don’t really do it specifically to reduce my electricity usage. I just don’t like my personal space to be too bright, and it’s just a nice bonus to be able to save on electricity while doing so.

Are you usually open to trying a new food that you aren’t familiar with? Typically, yes, although I do have certain foods that I have no interest in trying. < Yep. I’m open to absolutely anything but if a meal has something I already don’t like, like fruits or raisins, then I shy away from those.

Do you listen to Panic! At The Disco? Not as often as I used to, but I definitely still have soft spots for A Fever, Pretty. Odd., and Vices & Virtues. As for the newer music, I don’t tune in to the albums themselves and listen to the entire tracklists but I wouldn’t skip a P!ATD single if it came on the radio.

Have you ever had a kinky dream about a celebrity? I probably have but they’ve all been forgettable.

Is there a song you can’t stop listening to atm? Not really. I’ll listen to Hayley here and there, but that’s it.

Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you couldn’t say it back? Yes. This has been the case with my mom for around 6-7 years now. I guess there was just one point in our relationship where she got too mad, I got too traumatized, and it has since kept me from saying it back.

If your Facebook status doesn’t get any likes/comments, does it bother you? Yeah, especially if I shared something deeply personal and important to me, like a life achievement. Of all social media, people are always most likely to react on Facebook (relatives in particular would like or heart anything I post lmao) so a post that would go completely ignored would be confusing but would also sting.

Which friend do you confide in most? Used to be Gabie but now it’s either Anj or Andi.

Do you wear a cross? No.

What is your opinion on Arby’s? THIS IS SUCH A LONG SURVEY, AAAHHHHHHHH. Anyway, never had it. I have heard Arby’s is one of the rather mid-tier restaurants in the US, like it’s not trash but it’s no In-N-Out...I’d still love to try it though. Aren’t they known for like roast beef sandwiches or something? Those sound delightful.

When you have your own kitchen, how will it be done? I just want it to be idiot-proof because I can get pretty dumb in the kitchen.

What is your favorite doughnut? Chocolate glazed with sprinkles. Will always be a kid at heart when it comes to donuts.

Do you have a hot tub? If so, where is it located? We don’t have one.

Did you read the Twilight series, or jump on the bandwagon after the movie? I jumped on the bandwagon once the first movie came out, which was still pretty early on in the whole Twilight craze tbh. I started in 2009 when I was able to read all the books and watch New Moon in the cinema, then I proceeded to catch the midnight screenings for all the movies that came after that.

What is your favorite party game? Pinoy Henyo is a big favorite. It’s basically a Filipino version of Heads-Up, just ever so slightly better and more chaotic, which makes it funnier.

Do you or your parents rake your yard? My mom sweeps, not rakes.

Were you pro-Obama? I think ‘pro’ is too strong a stance. I like remaining neutral and cautious when it comes to US presidents especially considering the US’ history of imperialism in and overall relationship with my country but like, I don’t hate Obama. My vote, if I ever was eligible, would still go to him, but of course it’s best to remain wary and critical of his moves.

What is your favorite scent from Bath & Body Works? I don’t really have one. I don’t do much shopping there. < Same.

What was the last illegal thing you did? Probably speeding. My lunch break ends at 1 PM but I was still at the bank by like 12:50 yesterday, so I had to drive like a maniac to get home on time lmao.

Who did you last go to the movies with? Gabie.

What color was the last vehicle you were in? White.

Do you have any family members in the military right now? As far as I know, no.

Is there a ceiling fan in the room you’re in? Nope, no ceiling fans in the house in general.

When was the last time you wished time would move faster? Today. I love my work, but it can get tiring too and I also find myself occasionally wishing the day was over already.

Are there any owls in your room (as decor, of course)? Nopes. But I do remember when owls were a popular hipster design and everyone had like owl necklaces and shit. What a time.

Have you ever heard voices? Like other voices in my head? No.

Do you believe in angels and demons? Nope.

Who is the worst neighbor you have ever had? It wasn’t my neighbors per se but the helpers of my neighbors used to play cheesy 80s and 90s hits obnoxiously loud every morning and it woke me up every time and I didn’t really have a choice but wait for their stupid listening session to end. I’m so glad they since stopped, but it was my own little piece of hell back then.

Did your Barbies go on dates? [continued from last night] I didn’t do much with my Barbies, honestly. I was mostly curious about their production and liked taking off their clothes to see how the toy company dealt with their private areas lmao. I think my sister and I also drew and doodled on a bunch of our dolls.

If you’re not straight, who was the first person you came out to? I didn’t really do any coming out. One day I just acknowledged my attraction towards Gabie with myself, and when I started dating her I just let everyone figure it out for themselves. I’ve never felt like I had an orientation anyway, so I never felt the need to come out.

Where did you meet your first crush? School, back in kindergarten. But we didn’t formally meet until the end of grade school.

Do you remember the first time your first crush ever said hi to you? Not at all. I remember the people who introduced us, but not our first meeting itself.

Do you ever go places with wet hair? On some days back in college, when there was no traffic going to school I would end up arriving with my hair still kind of wet. This is also the case with Sunday mass (when we could still attend), since we usually headed out as soon as we had taken a shower.

Who is your favorite little girl? I’m a sucker for my friends’ little sisters, like Gabie’s and Athenna’s. I also never got to have a lot of female cousins, so I cherish the few ones I have - Maggie, Bree, and Sam - who are all considerably younger than me.

What do you want the most in life? Contentment. Wherever place I ultimately end up in, I hope to find satisfaction and contentment in it.

What is a decision you’ve made that changed your entire life? Choosing to say ‘fuck it, what do I have to lose’ and send a letter of interest for my present company, who didn’t even have any job openings at the time I sent it out. If I shied away from the lack of openings and never sent out that letter, I never would have been offered an internship, and without taking that internship I never would have been offered a job after a couple of months. So I have to say that’s a pretty fucking solid move of mine.

Do you ever wonder what kind of person you’d have turned out to be if a certain event never happened to you? Sigh. I avoid this exact thought all the time because of how sad it’s able to make me.

When you’re home alone, do you still shower with the bathroom door closed? Yup, it’s just habit.

If you could have anyone’s singing voice, whose would you choose? I’d pick Billie Eilish’s insane ability to hold very soft/quiet notes (ugh, she’s grown on me), Hayley Williams’ range, and Beyoncé’s stamina.

What are your top 3 favorite genres of music? Synth pop, indie rock, R&B.

Where did you buy your dishes from? My mom bought our newest set from...probably a department store. Idk, I wasn’t there with her when she got it a few weeks ago.

Do you think Mars will be colonized in your lifetime? There’ll be advancements in this lifetime for sure, but we’ve got a long way to go before colonization is even remotely feasible.

What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought that turned out to be a waste of money? Maybe all the shit I bought Gabie throughout the six years, most of them I had to skip meals for? Lmao just kidding, I’m not that kind of ex. I got her a lot of useful stuff, like a Hydroflask, and I mean I don’t completely regret buying them. As long as she still uses them and as long as those things still help in making life easier for her, then the purchases are still worth it.

What’s something you’ve bought that turned out to be way more useful than you anticipated? My cross stitch kit that I thought I was never going to learn. I am now realizing how fun it is and will probably buy a shit ton of kits for myself once Christmas season is over.

Have you ever been on a ship? Yes. My dad gave me a cruise trip for my 18th birthday, and it ended up being really fun :)

Do you ever take intentional breaks from checking/posting on social media? Yeah, I go on detoxes 1-2 times a year where I deactivate all my accounts and am only reachable through text. It usually happens every Christmas season, but sometimes I’ll go through a particularly low point where I’d feel the need to go on a social media break.

Who was Van Halen’s better singer - David Lee Roth, or Sammy Hagar? I don’t listen to Van Halen.

Which fictional character has the most memorable quotes? Any character from BoJack Horseman. What’s a class you did not take in school, but now wish you had? I wasn’t required to take foreign language electives in college like other courses, so I really wish I got to take them :( I can’t imagine how fun it would’ve been to go to class for the sole purpose of learning Spanish or Korean or Italian. Also, even though I took like 5-6 history electives, I still wish I had the chance to take all the other history offerings.

Have you ever been to either of your parents’ workplaces? I have been in the general vicinity of both – my mom works in a hotel and we’ve booked rooms there several times, while my cruise took place in the liner my dad works in. But I’ve only ever been to my dad’s workplace, when he took some time out of his day to show me his kitchen and let me have some of the escargot before they went out to guests :)

What do you think of the ‘Healthy At Every Size’ movement/philosophy? I quickly looked it up and I don’t disagree with its thesis.

Have you ever been bitten so hard that their teeth marks were there after? I used to be like this with Gab, but with me...hmm, my mom liked biting us as kids, and sometimes she’d go pretty hard, yeah. It was never out of anger, of course.

Ever been given a hickey? (Love bite) Yes.

Ever gave one? Anddddd yes.

Are you more of an outgoing type or shy type? Shy if a situation is overall unfamiliar, but I can be outgoing once I start to warm up.

Do you think it’s weird if guys wear make-up like eyeliner? Nope.

Are you self conscious? If so what are you self conscious about? Having been unceremoniously dumped, I’m self-conscious about a million things rn. It’ll take a while for things to be back on track again, self-esteem-wise.

Are you flirty at all? No.

Are you racist at all? I don’t particularly like the Chinese because of the way they treat Filipinos and how most of them behave in my country, like that one asshat who was caught shitting in a local tourist spot here. It gets too tiring to keep on forgiving them at some point.

Would you ever date a disabled person? (Be honest) I don’t see a reason why I wouldn’t.

If you found a baby randomly by itself what would you do? If they were distressed, I’d take them to the nearest security guard and ask for help in looking for their parents. I honestly have no clue how I’d deal with a kid who was otherwise bubbly and doing okay by themselves because I might just look like a kidnapper if I went near them lol.

Would you rather adopt or have your own child? Have my own.

What would you class as cheating on someone? If you’re doing something that requires you to be too close with another person to the point that you have to acknowledge that your partner is not aware of what you’re up to/they don’t have to know what you’re up to. Once that acknowledgment is out of the bag, it’s cheating for me.

Do you try to be politically correct? Yeah.

What’s your favorite kind of sea critter? Dolphins.

Have you ever tasted locally-made honey before? I don’t think so.

As far as earrings go, would you rather wear hoops or studs? Hoops for days.

Do you find P.E. humiliating, or think schools shouldn’t teach it? I think it’s vital to have PE in an education system that requires students to be mostly on their butts. A lot of people hate getting physical and active, and that’s exactly the reason why PE should be around.

Do you recycle? I try to, whenever I can.

Are you interested in current world issues? Yep yep, very.

Do you think you are mature, or immature? I can definitely be petty at times, but I think I mostly act maturely and that those who know me can back me up on it.

What kind of career are you interested in? Public relations, which is under the umbrella of media and communications. I like not being tied to one product, and it’s always awesome to see campaigns that I help with for various big brands come to life.

Do you own a pair of sunglasses? Nah. I was never into them.

Do you use bobby pins, hair clips, or elastic hair ties? Which? I use a hair tie on a daily basis and bobby pins for formal events where I need my hair to be pristinely neat. I nevr use hair clips.

How badly do you get acne? (If at all) Oh god. I got two pimples in between my eyes right now, and it’s the first time I’ve gotten acne since...a year and a half, maybe? My acne isn’t bad at all and it’s never been an issue, so I always panic on the extremely rare occasions I see one or two pop up on my face.

What’s the best way to cope with a breakup? I should be the one asking that! Tips are always welcome, you guys.

If someone dislikes you, what is most likely to be the reason? I probably came off as aloof, which is a fairly common observation.

How many text messages do you have in your inbox at the moment? I don’t delete messages and my phone doesn’t provide me with the total, so suffice it to say there are probably thousands of texts currently in my phone.

When was the last time you had a difficult decision to make? I’m still deciding if I want to keep Gabie around. She honestly doesn’t deserve it, but she’s also my best friend in the world, so idk.

In school, what subjects do/did you find the most difficult? Chemistry, trigonometry, calculus. Physics was hard in high school but became easier in college, and I believe it boils down to the teachers who taught them.

Do you still speak to the person you had your first kiss with? Yes.

Where did you meet the last person you swapped numbers with? I haven’t done that in a while.

Who was the last person to add you as a friend on Facebook? I think it was one of my cousins, Maggie. I don’t remember. But it was probably her.

Who was the last person that asked if you were okay? Maybe Andi? I haven’t had anyone ask me that for a while now.

What does your handwriting look like? I’m the go-to person whenever neat handwriting is needed on a document or something, so I guess that must mean my handwriting is decent. The biggest comment that I get, though, is that my letters are too tiny hahaha.

Do you use any products on your hair, other than shampoo and conditioner? Sometimes I’ll use hair gel for important events because I have the most annoying baby hairs, but otherwise those two are pretty much all I use.

Who were your best friends in primary school? Angela, Pia, Tammy, Marielle, Pam, Gaille, Nina.

Do you still speak to any of them? I only ever actively speak with Angela; she’s still my best friend. Pia and I are mutuals on social media and we’ll sometimes keep the other up to speed with the latest gossip lolol, but I wouldn’t call her my best friend. I lost contact with Tammy, Nina, and Pam after high school, and Gaille when she migrated. I cut Marielle out of my life after she did something shitty that broke my trust.

What was the last thing you bought from a vending machine? A bottle of water, I think.

What color hair did your first crush have? Black.

What type of shoes do you find the most comfortable? Sneakersssssss.

Are you more masculine or feminine? More feminine, definitely.

If you could design your own mug, what would you put on it? I don’t know how to...design things on my own lol, but I’d love a Friends-themed mug, or maybe even a GMM-themed one :)

What is the best beach you’ve been to? Palawan felt almost unreal with how breathtaking it was. I really felt at peace there.

What is one thing you physically can’t do? Lift a water container.

Have you ever been to a funeral? Not a funeral, but I’ve been to several wakes.

Have you ever visited your state’s capitol building? I don’t think we have those.

Have you ever visited your nation’s capitol building? Again, we don’t have those.

Do/did you have a favorite seat in church? My mom, in what really shouldn’t come as a shock, has always liked for us to be in the front row. I’m SO glad we don’t have to physically attend mass anymore; I always felt like I was being burned alive whenever I entered a church lol

What is your favorite park? I wish I had an answer for this but we don’t have any public parks because Philippines.

Have you ever felt an earthquake? Yeah, it happens prrrrretty often, at least once every few months. There was one just last week.

Do you chew gum regularly? Nah but this did made me think of JM, who always had a pack of gum with him without fail everyday.

Where did you go on your first train ride? It was headed to Manila, but my destination was Pasay.

Do you know anyone with a dual citizenship? It’s possible. I went to high school with people who were half-German and half-Swiss, and I’m guessing they held dual citizenships.

What sports teams do you root for, if any? (Extra points for Boston fans.) I don’t really root for any other than my college’s team.

Do you dunk your cookies in milk? If there’s milk around, sure. 

What is something you are confident about? I don’t know. I haven’t felt that at all lately.

Have you ever been physically addicted to a substance? What? Nope.

How do you feel about needles? Can’t do shots, blood tests, and IV without freaking out and/or feeling faint. But I can handle sewing needles apparently, judging from how I was able to do cross-stitching last week. As for tattoos, still unsure if I can handle getting one even though I already have a couple of designs in mind.

What is your favorite accent to listen to? That British accent that sounds super posh lol, the one Florence Pugh and Hugh Grant have. Idk what it’s called.

What was the reason you last got dressed up? Job interview.

Have you ever been the subject of cruel rumors? I was the subject of a rumor once, but I didn’t and don’t find it cruel. It was a typical middle school rumor.

^ What were they? That I was dating my friend Andi and was bisexual. The one with Andi I can kind of understand, since I did have a bit of a crush on her then; I just didn’t know I was bad at hiding it. But for people to go as far as telling others I was bisexual was a little surprising.

Do you prefer loose or form-fitting clothing? Form-fitting. I never liked loose clothing on me.

^ What about on your preferred gender? I don’t have a preferred gender, and I think it really depends per person.

What do you do when you are really, really mad? I isolate myself so that I don’t have to explode on anyone.

Would you rather go naked than wear fur? Is it real fur? I’d go naked.

Do you put a line through your 7’s? Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t.

^ What about your Z’s? ^ Same answer. I like keeping things different, hahaha.

What is one thing that someone could do to you that is unforgivable? Break my self-esteem. Constructive criticism is fine, of course, but it’ll be very hard to forgive people who make it their lives to point out my flaws or carelessly hurl hurtful words/insults at me, aka my mom. I’ve never forgiven her about it and it’s the main reason why I’ve since been unable to say “I love you” back whenever she says it.

Are you able to forgive and forget? No. That’s not my preferred route; I’ve always been the grudge-y kind of person.

Do you like cold pizza? Yesssssss. I don’t have a preference between hot or cold, but I have never complained about cold pizza for sure. I ate a slice of pizza right out of the fridge just yesterday.

What is your favorite fruit? Eh.

What about your favorite fruit juice, if it differs from solid fruit? I don’t really have one. I guess orange, as long as it’s not too sour - so basically not pure orange juice lol.

Do you like broccoli and cheese? Haven’t tried it but the pairing sounds *chef’s kiss*

What about potatoes and cheese? Yum.

Have you written a letter by hand, lately? To whom? Not lately, but I plan to.

Toaster or toaster oven? Toaster oven, since we’ve actually had that. We’ve never needed a toaster.

What are you most known for? It depends on who you’re talking to, I’d say. I think different people know me by different things.

Do you have any reputations? What are they? I’m never comfortable claiming things like this, because there’s always the possibility that who I think I am to other people might be far from the truth. Overall, I just try to be myself and still remain nice to everyone while doing so so that I don’t develop a strong reputation for anything.

Do you wear band shirts? Not really.

^ What band was on the last one you wore? I don’t wear them.

Do you own any hats? Describe them. I have a white sunhat that I never got to wear because I’ve always found it too big and flashy and I never wanna draw attention to myself when outside, which it definitely would’ve done for me.

What about masks, you got any? Describe those. I just wear the basic blue surgical face masks.

What was the last thing to leave you speechless? Hearing the amount of money GMM raised for their livestream earlier today, and basically seeing just how insanely successful the livestream in general was.

Do your parents like your friends? If they don’t, why not? My parents never got to know my college friends so they don’t have an opinion on them; they’re still pretty attached to my group in high school hahaha so like Gab, Angela, Athenna, Chelsea, etc, who they all still love and occasionally ask about.

Have you been called a bad influence? Idk, maybe, out of earshot.

Describe your favorite pair of socks. I don’t have any.

Have you experienced any life-changing news, events, etc, lately? First real job and the breakup of a long-term relationship that I had initially finally stopped having doubts about.

Have any self-done piercings? OMG I can finally see the end of this survey holy shit. It took me two damn days, ughhhhhh. Anyway, hell no. I’d injure myself so badly.

Ever pierced someone else? Most definitely not.

Do you get distracted easily? It depends on how much I actually care about whatever it is I’m doing. < Agree. My focus is unpredictable.

Is talking to strangers enjoyable for you, or stressful? Stressful. No matter how pleasant they or the conversation turns out to be, I’m always more stressed than anything else and I let out a sigh of relief as soon as it’s over.

How do you feel about getting new neighbors? It’d be super refreshing, considering the houses on our left and right were literally just built, but never actually inhabited.

How many ceiling fans are in your home? We don’t have any. Do you tweet your life away? Not anymore. I used to tweet my entire life back in high school, but when I realized literally none of my classmates were the same and that I looked so lonely doing it, I made an effort to lessen the tweets and eventually the new habit caught on.

How do you feel about shameless self promoting? I don’t think much of it.

When reading words. like. this. do. you always pause after the periods? Haha, yeah.

What about screaming when reading something IN ALL CAPS? Not always. Soooo many people like typing in all caps anyway, so this has been more normalized to me lately.

[lexdrabbles]

Everything We Are

Here it is. The thing I’ve been writing for way too long. This was a gift fic for my lovely friend @ayame1212​, who got me into the angst hole that is Noragami. Enjoy your fresh, fresh pain. This features two OCs. They’re both assholes. Hope y’all like them.

Word count: 3711 Fandom: Noragami Warnings:  Non-graphic violence, armed robbery, background character death (non-graphic), nihilism, thoughts of revenge (briefly), blood mention, death mention. (Yeah... it’s basically One Big Angsty Fight Scene) Read on AO3

It was a patrol like any other. Yato and Yukine regularly went out looking for ayakashi during the night, following their pledge to rid the world of their influence (as much as they could, at least).

The streets were almost always deserted at this time of the night. Most night-time deities had no business being out and about so, other than the occasional human, only the ayakashi roamed around; hence, perfect patrol time.

They never expected to run into another god; much less one whose sword was hilt-deep in a human’s chest.

Yato had to physically restrict Yukine before he could jump at the scene without any forethought. “What the hell, man?” said Yukine. “We have to stop them!” Yato simply shoved the blond backward and stopped him with an outstretched arm. “Might want to analyze what’s going on before gettin’ yourself killed.”

Yukine huffed, “Whatever.”

They looked at the distant developments with more attention and noticed a third person. At that point, the picture came together: The man with the sword in his chest was holding a gun against the other person’s head, yelling at them to hand over all their valuables.

Normally, when you saw a god intervene in mortal affairs, it was something serious. Late night muggings would usually not be encompassed in “emergencies requiring divine intervention”, but Yato was not one to judge. After all, if anyone knew what small prayers like these did for minor gods, it was him. However, something was still strange. It took him too long to pin down why something still did not make sense, too long to notice the slight squinting of the attacked.

It took Yukine yelling at him to realize there were no ayakashi around, and this god’s blade was not leaving the man’s chest until he had succeeded; reflecting some sort of light into the victim’s eyes and effectively blinding them.

They were not trying to stop him; they were making him do this.

Yato knew exactly what kind of god this was.

And she had heard Yukine’s yell too.

She had flinched and looked in their direction, visibly disrupting her shinki’s concentration, as the beam of light faltered enough for the victim to fight back. She yanked the sword away without hesitation, finishing the man off and leaving the other shocked at the sudden death of their attacker. The god fled, leaping away; but Yato was not about to let her get away without facing consequences for her actions. He and Yukine shared a look. “Come, Sekki!” As soon as the blades were in his hands, he went after the rogue god.

They jumped on roof after roof, ran through the streets and leapt unearthly heights. He chased her with a grudge he had not felt in a long time, with a burning desire to make justice by himself; to take her apart piece by piece, to break her shinki until it knew the pain it had caused, to—

“Yato?” Yukine’s voice dragged him out of his own head. “Are you okay? You’re kind of gripping really hard…” He looked down at his paled knuckles and loosened his grip on the swords. “It’s nothing.”

“Don’t bullshit me. Putting up with your sweaty ass hands is one thing, but you better have a good reason for squeezing me.”

“I’m the one doing all the running, so shut up before I drop you right here. You’re going to make me lose track of her”

As if she had been reading their minds the whole time, the god suddenly stopped in the middle of a crossroads. Yato landed a few meters away from her. Watching, waiting.

She stared at him, too; her brown eyes calculating, dark hair settling down after the chase. After a beat of analysis, she simply uttered “Revert, Hikari”.

A flash of light later, a tall figure stood beside their master. They both donned similar clothing; skirts and dress shirts in black and white, like negative images of each other.

“What, does everyone need to have a uniform?” Yukine piped up.

“You gonna attack an unarmed god?” She finally addressed him. “Come on, put that away. Where are your manners?”

“Who are you?” Yato deadpanned, flipping Sekki around in his hand.

“The name’s Aya,” she curtsied mockingly. “This is my guidepost, Hitsuki. Who are you? That’s a very nice blade you got there.”

Yato almost felt too uncomfortable to keep Yukine in his weapon form any longer. “Revert, Yuki”. The teen stood next to him with an annoyed look on his face as Aya shamelessly eyed him up.

“Yato. He’s Yukine. What were you doing back there?”

“Yato… Yeah, I’ve definitely heard that name somewhere…” She looked thoughtful as she ignored Yato’s question. “Of course!” She finally exclaimed. “You defied heaven itself, didn’t you? Faced off against Takemikazuchi in person, right?” Her eyes glinted with mischief and her tone lowered. “That your hafuri?” A smirk settled on her face. “He looks cute, but I didn’t think he would be so young.”

“Well that’s none of your business, now is it?” Yukine snapped back, blushing.

Aya merely chuckled. “And he comes with an attitude, too! How charming…” She gestured to her own shinki, who had been quietly laughing along the whole time. “Hi-chan is a snarky one, too. Quick wit might just be something all hafuri share…” She looked Yato in the eyes as she referred to her vessel as a hafuri. His expression was transparent as the other god’s statement took him aback completely.

“Hard to come by shinki this loyal as a god of calamity, isn’t it?” Her statement felt like a punch in the gut. Yato’s expression hardened and he instinctively stepped forward and slightly in front of Yukine, as if trying to protect him. “What were you doing back there?” he pressed.

“Oh, you know, just business. Muggers are kind of my target audience, you could say. Say a little prayer and leave a tip and defenseless people with full pockets start crossing your path left and right…” She winked and gestured to the shinki beside her. “Sometimes they need a little help, a pick me up, if you will. Some are way too nervous; some can’t deal with feisty prey. That’s where this one comes in. They’re quite the charmer, really. You see, they have an edge to them that gives most ill intents a boost.” She chuckled at her own pun. “And after changing, well… Mind if I show off? Come, Kouki!”

As the tall figure dissipated into white light, Yato immediately summoned his own weapon —and Yukine was happy to oblige—. Both gods were left standing under the street light again, blades glistening.

“Calm down, man! I’m just showing you!” She seemed truly unbothered and sly. What had materialized, rather than a sword, was a black and green scabbard at the god’s waist. In an instant, Aya unsheathed a tachi with a long, polished blade. It looked sharp and made visions flash in Yato’s mind that he would rather not recall.

“Check this out,” Aya angled the weapon just so, and a spot of bright, white light shone on the pavement. It moved with the blade in a smooth, almost mesmerizing dance; running across the floor and up buildings, roaming along street signs and traffic lights, until it went back to its starting point on the pavement between the two gods. With a flick of the green handle in Aya’s hand, the dot disappeared.

“Pretty cool, right?” she bragged. “Concentrated moonlight. They could barely keep their edge consistent before changing, but now? Most precise weapon you could ask for.” She angled the blade so it reflected the streetlight, no magic required.

Yato observed her and his blood slowly boiled. The way she moved her sword and the way she had used it on the humans before made his skin crawl. He watched every turn of her wrist and every sway of the green handle in her hand.

“Why use it like that?” He finally replied. “Why influence humans’ hearts in such a profane manner?”

Aya laughed.

“Oh, look at him with the big words! Profane, ooh, that hurt!” she mocked. “A prayer is a prayer, Yato. People want me to help them make a living, get out of financial pinches… after all, that’s what us little gods’re here for, isn’t it? Answering mortals’ prayers… Surely you understand,” something glinted in her eyes, as if she knew she was pushing exactly the wrong buttons.

Yato’s face hardened. “As a matter of fact, I very specifically do not.”

She stopped dead in her tracks and looked Yato in the eyes, her expression darkening. He shifted Sekki’s blades in his hands. “Don’t be confused; I am no god of calamity.

Aya stepped toward him, resting the long, curved blade of the tachi on her shoulder, and scowled at him. “What’s with the swords, then? What are you god of, low-stakes fencing? Have I perchance run into the powerful god of war, Bishamonten?” she inspected him as she came closer. Yato did his best to stand his ground, deadpan as he tried not to grit his teeth. "Want me to give her a call so we can settle this quicker?" He threatened.

"Oh, she's your friend, right?" Aya stopped barely a meter in front of him. "Figures traitors would stick together".

Yato closed the distance between them and crossed Sekki's blades at the other god's throat.

"You sure talk a lot of shit for a creeper who takes money from predators".

Aya simply eyed Sekki up, looked Yato in the eyes and smirked. "And you talk a lot of shit for a killer".

His blood froze. His entire body was paralyzed. His pupils shrunk into specks. The single word echoed and bounced in his head.

“Yato? Yato! Snap out of it!” Yukine’s voice rang louder. He quickly withdrew his swords and leapt away onto the closest rooftop. “We need to get out of here.”

A high-pitched voice reached them from the street below, “Come on! Things were just getting fun!” They could hear she was not giving up; Yato jumped from roof to roof hoping to get away from the unrelenting footsteps of his new pursuer.

“Yato, what the hell are you doing? I thought we were the ones chasing her!” his shinki’s voice resonated in his head. A speck of moonlight ran on the floor in front of him and suddenly glared into his eyes. Blinded, he maneuvered into a flip and landed wrong on the next roof; he stumbled and fell off the side, losing Kouki’s light in the process. Sekki managed to ram into the nearest wall just before they hit the ground, and Yato used the momentum to thrust him forward.

“Stop running from yourself, Yato! You can’t escape your nature!”

He landed on the floor and got set to start running again before Yukine pleaded once again. “Yato! Stop running and confront him!” Or had he said her? Yato did not know. He was thinking too much. All of their words bounced around his head and he did not know what to do with them, or himself, or his feet that suddenly had him turning around toward the building he had just fallen from. Aya dropped to the ground to face him once again. Blades at the ready. “Ready to face our sins, are we?” She said with a smirk.

Yato looked her in the eyes; something that was not quite rage burned in his. His head was as clear as his thoughts would allow, and a single thing stood out among them.

“Do you not know?” His tone was measured and cold. He turned Sekki in his hands and swiftly readied the blades at his sides. “A god can do no wrong.”

He charged.

As their blades collided, both gods were reckoned with each other’s strength. The raw power that emanated from them ricocheted on the buildings along the street. A blaze of white light flashed between both weapons and Yato staggered backward, covering himself as Sekki bore another strike from Aya’s tachi. The swords clashed and glared and clanged against each other, bursts of light exploding between them as Yato kept dodging toward higher ground to avoid Kouki’s blinding attacks.

Aya was fast; faster than Yato was comfortable with. She wielded her sword and its abilities seamlessly, with the ease of flowing water. They coordinated, assembled and moved as one, making spare use of words to communicate; as if sharing a mind.

“I thought your kid was a hafuri, god of calamity” Aya mocked behind another flash. “Where’s your sync? What’s all that eternal loyalty good for if he ain’t protecting his master?” Another blinding light shone into Yato’s eyes. Anyone could have smelled the storms slowly but surely inching closer to them, reeking of ayakashi and bad omens. He crouched behind a roof, panting; Sekki nearly slipping from his grasp. He could feel Yukine's distress coursing through his system. “You okay, kid?” He took a moment to wipe the blades and handles on his sleeves. “What are you doing?” The shinki’s urgent voice popped into his head, “get back out there! Stop hiding, you coward, we need to kick their—” “Okay, okay, calm down. You have to focus. We don’t stand a chance here if we don’t work together.” “That must be so easy to say when you’re not the one taking all the hits. I have been holding back, you know? You always go on about how every soul has a purpose or whatever, but it’s so hard, Yato! Your life is in danger and I’m just being swung around helplessly and dulling myself because you said it’s the right thing to do! You’re way out on a limb here; they are overpowering us and we’re just taking it!.”

Yato sighed as if he had the time to ponder. He looked at Sekki’s blades, as if looking him in the eye. “Yukine—” A single beam of pure moonlight reflected off the edge, bouncing up into the sky like a beacon.

“Found you!” The yell was closer than Yato had expected; soon he found himself dodging yet another sharp swing in his direction, covering his eyes with one arm. Aya did not use her shinki’s ability sparingly, and it was a powerful move.

“I nearly thought you’d left me here all on my own!” she laughed between attacks “Can’t deny you’re having fun, can you?” She took a moment to block a strike from him and look him dead in the eye “Can’t reject your nature; you were made to fight, after all.” Another flash. Yato grew more and more aware of Kouki’s use of their light manipulation. Sure, they were powerful bursts, but they were not very directed. It seemed as if quick attacks were not their forte. “Of course,” he thought, “they don’t usually need to use it in combat. It’s a diversion tactic, not an attack.” He dodged the light, jumping up to try getting to his adversary from above. Aya leapt away, the gleam of her shinki trailing behind her. Her shots’ inaccuracy was increasingly obvious to Yato, even while still struggling to keep up with their rapid-fire nature. He saw an opening and drove in, crossed swords first. Aya harshly blocked his blades, giving him a good look at her and her own weapon: unscathed and glinting almost mockingly.

“Isn’t it so fun to cut things up?” she said, an intense look in her eyes. Yato looked away and caught a glimpse of his own reflection on Sekki’s surface: his eyes a cold blue, his hair tied back. He staggered. Before he could help it, Aya took the upper hand; swinging at him until he was against a wall, barely parrying her attacks. Panting and struggling to keep his eyes open, he was confronted with his opponent again: sharp edges, disheveled hair and clothes from the fight, her white shirt stained red and ripped in several places. Her eyes, however, were mocking as ever; they radiated a sort of feral enjoyment that made Yato’s stomach churn. He glanced at Sekki again and saw its battered, dull edges taking slash after slash from his adversary, the blight beginning to rust at the tip of one of the swords. He could feel Yukine’s frustration and anger rushing through his veins, feeding into the fire that had been burning at his core since the moment Aya opened her mouth.

“Yukine,” he started, his voice a strange mix of serene and tired “you can do it.” It was a simple statement. Not encouraging at all. It was too late for pep talks. “At least say it with some feeling next time! What the hell does that mean?” “It means some purposes aren’t worth fulfilling.”

Aya rammed her sword into the wall a centimeter away from Yato’s head, white light entirely dazzling him. “What’s that you’re going on about? Purpose? Please. Purpose is a fairy tale made up by humans to fill the void of their existence. They don’t have a purpose, and neither do we. We’re just here for the ride, and some of us choose to take full advantage of it.” Her voice was exasperated “You used to be cool, man! I used to hear tales of the fearsome Yato god, cutting down humans because it was fun! And now you want to help them? What, you think you can suddenly be a benevolent god of fortune? You wanna fart rainbows and happiness or some shit? Don’t make me laugh.” But she was not laughing. The amusement in her eyes had morphed into something bitter and resentful as she removed the blade of her shinki from the wall and angled it against Yato’s neck. “You don’t get to choose.”

“Stop holding back.” He stated plainly, readying his swords. Aya looked taken aback for the first time. “I’m flattered, really, but don’t think you—” “I wasn’t talking to you.” His cold eyes lit up in fury as Sekki glowed a blue glare that purged the blight covering it, leaving the swords looking sharper and deadlier than they had looked in a long time. Relief flooded him as he charged against her with little reserve, swinging once and again and again, through flashing attacks and counterstrikes. His opponent parried and dodged and fought back, but she was tired and thrown off. Kouki seemed not to know what to do with themself, launching random glare attacks that seemed increasingly uncoordinated with the goddess’ charges. Yato’s movements and Sekki’s edge were precise and unwavering.

“It’s freeing, right? The feeling of having someone’s life at your fingertips.” Aya prodded, laughing nervously as she barely kept the other’s swords off her. Yato’s expression didn’t budge. “This is what I’ve been saying!” she panted, tone desperate, “You can deny it all you want, but your true calling is really just cutting. Shit. Up.” She tried to use her words as a diversion and charged at Yato one more frantic time; her opponent didn’t falter. With a maneuver of both swords, Yato jerked the tachi from Aya’s hand, sending it clanging through the pavement a couple meters away. The goddess’ back hit the hard surface of a wall and one of Sekki’s blades was at her throat; the other swiftly drove into the wall, centimeters away from her face. “You’re right, in a way” Yato said flatly. His eyes still burned a bright blue and his hair stuck to the sweat on his face. “I am fulfilling my purpose with a blade, after all”. Aya’s face was unreadable; all kinds of emotions muddled on it, but she forced out a smile that was nervous and desperate and wrong. “Right! That’s all I meant, really. Now we can leave it here and call it a day, and—” Yato’s sword inched closer to her neck, grazing the skin just enough to keep her from moving. “You’re also wrong,” he continued. “The only “shit” I cut up is scum like you. Sekki didn’t draw back, and little by little cut away at the goddess’ skin. “Alright. Well, I think now she’ll understand that— Yato?” Yukine’s voice got lost somewhere in the echo chamber of his thoughts. His enemy’s whimpers filled his ears. “What are your thoughts on reincarnation, Aya-gami?” He stated more than asked, voice cold. “Yato! That’s enough!” Yukine demanded to no avail. A thick trail of blood ran down Aya’s neck. “Yato! Cut it out! You’ll kill her for real!” Yato’s sight was fixed on the blade.

“Yato, stop!” He screamed with a strength that resounded over the cries and the fog in Yato’s brain. “Line!”

The god fell forward, Sekki’s blade slicing clean through the building wall. Aya’s body slid down until she hit the floor, holding onto her head as if to confirm that it was still attached. “Hitsuki! Holy shit. Holy shit, Hi-chan, get over here”. The tachi glowed and morphed back to their human form, and the shinki ran to their goddess’ side. “Are you okay? Are you hurt? I couldn’t move. I’m so sorry—” they cried. Yato just stared at the scene, still detached. “Yukine”. He managed to call. A moment later the blond teen was slapping him across the face. “Just what the hell were you thinking?” he yelled. “You almost killed her! What’s all that edgy ‘some purposes aren’t worth fulfilling’ bullshit? I thought you were kidding!” Aya stood up with her shinki’s help, ready to make a run for it, but Yato’s stare froze both of them in place. “I hope this will serve as a warning:” he admonished. “If I ever see you hurting a human again, you won’t be so lucky.” He laid his hand on Yukine’s shoulder. “I’m sure you of all gods understand hafuri can be very protective of their masters and our wishes.” He looked Hitsuki in the eyes, as if addressing them directly. “He won’t go so easy on you next time.”

Four cold expressions collided before Aya and her shinki turned their backs.

“We’ll be sure not to get in your way, o merciful one.” Her tone was bitter and sarcastic.

“Off you go, then!” Yukine pressed.

And the two figures simply walked away until they disappeared into the shadows.

[gcrifin]

     A feathered guide to an unfamiliar seaside port, content with the salt spray and breeze that carried itself through the day. A gull rests atop The Flying Lilly ever curious about the travelling library as it offers a view of the horizon untouched among various dinghies common within the docks. A call to the blonde still peering out among the countless ships is enough to call her attention to that which stands out among them all, content in having served as navigation before taking off towards the sun. Lulubelle sends the creature off with a less-than-subtle wave, just enough to grant a few curious albeit concerned glances before everything is the way it had been. A slight sprint along planks that creak under the pressure of chipper step up to boarding where she takes in the sight of the ship for an unusually long period. It had only ever graced her vision once some time ago, a sense of courtesy paid and then returned in kind some time later. In that memory is the answer to quite the conundrum; a problem which appears trivial in its manner yet one only the temporarily docked library can solve. She seeks her remedy in the form of its pink-haired caretaker, finding a blessing in noticing her aboard the deck without even the need of stepping within its hull first .

      ❝ Oh, how lovely. You’re just who I wanted to see. ❞ Though only ever seeing one another once or twice, a keen eye remembers a uniquely scaled face. It was often rare, too, that one stood in a smaller stature than herself without the lack of age as support. She approaches, collected, with the smallest overflow of eagerness lacing the end of her statements. ❝ ‘Aya’, yes ? ❞

     An exaggerated expression of deep thought, tips of fingers to cheek to recall the mindful process of the day, ❝ I found myself at a café today with a sudden yearning for something to quench the parched parts of my mind. A shame a small coffee could do no such thing. I was quite disappointed after reading the paper, but it was then I remembered your ship. This island lacks diversity in that it only carries nonfiction in the form of history and news. While I do fancy a bit of newfound knowledge in my travels, I must admit I am in need of something─ ❞ a drawn out word, the gesture of hands splayed in hopes perhaps the gist of her issue comes across without words─ ❝ less solemn . ❞

     Unneeded, surprisingly subtle double takes over the shoulders in what most would see as comedic fashion before a somewhat nervous, lopsided smile crosses Lulubelle’s face as she leans in a bit closer to the mermaid librarian in a hushed tone, ❝ Might you have any novels in the romance genre within your collection ?  ❞

@bucketfullofocs​ //: { ♕ }

[youcancallmecirce]

Avatar AU, The Lost Firebender; Ch 3: The Avatar Returns

The Fire Nation comes calling, just as expected, and Zuko answers.

Written in collaboration with my daughter, Aya.

Ch 1 * Ch 2 * AO3 full story * AO3 this chapter

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From his vantage point above the village, Zuko watched the enormous Fire Navy ship plow  ever closer.

Below him, Sokka stood alone, holding his ground on the low ice palisade as he too watched the ship’s approach, his face painted and bone club in hand. Why was he alone? Zuko wondered.  Where were the men who should have stood at his side in defense of their people?  The rest of his people were running, screaming for him to “get back!” but Sokka didn’t move. Zuko wasn’t sure whether to applaud his bravery, or deride his stupidity.  (He ignored the niggling thought that Sokka reminded him a lot of himself in that moment.) 

The ship finally stopped just as it breached the packed ice wall, which crumbled beneath Sokka’s feet.   The boy wavered, but kept his footing on the tumbling, shifting snow and again stood his ground.

Everything was still for a moment.  The people who had sought refuge in their pitiful tents re-emerged and began to gather in a frightened cluster near the center of their village, whispering and clutching at one another.  Zuko scanned the group and realized with a shock that all of them were women and children.  Sokka, who couldn’t have been more than 16, was easily the oldest male member of the village.

The viciously pointed prow of the ship suddenly separated from the upper deck with a clank that made the whole Water Tribe jump, and it began to lower like the opening maw of a great beast.  

Zuko didn’t jump; he had been expecting it.

Sokka, still standing apart from his people, scrambled backward out of the way and fell backward into the snow.  Zuko winced.  He knew from experience how that sort of thing could sting the pride.  He decided that he sympathized with him, even if he was just a pathetic Water Tribe peasant.  There was worse to come.

Zuko shifted his attention from Sokka’s sprawling form to the three figures gathered at the top of the long metal gangway. All three wore familiar uniforms of ember red and ash grey, with tri-pointed helmets and skull-like face plates.  But not entirely familiar, he noted absently. The uniforms had changed a bit since he’d last seen them.  The ridiculous points on the pauldrons had been eliminated, but they still wore curling points on the boots.  

The men began to make their unhurried way down towards the gathered villagers, their manner insultingly dismissive, and Sokka ran up to meet them with a yell.  He never even got to swing his club.  The man in front kicked it from his hand, then kicked him off of the gangway entirely without even breaking his stride.  Sokka landed head first in the snow, his legs stuck awkwardly in the air.

Zuko actually cringed this time.  Sokka’s pride had just been obliterated, right in front of his entire village.  If he was smart, he would stay down.

The villagers shrank back as the Fire Nation men approached, then fanned out around them. Five of them.  Zuko could handle five.

The man in front, clearly the leader, tuned his head slowly as he looked over the gathered people.  “Where are you hiding him?” the man demanded.  

No one answered, and the man removed his helmet.  Zuko was too far away to see the man’s features clearly, but he looked to be the same as every other Fire Nation officer that he’d ever met: arrogant and cruel.

“Where is the airbender?” he shouted, scanning the people in front of him.  

Zuko frowned.  Airbender?   Oh.  His people must think that he’d died, and that it had passed to the next element in the cycle.  But why wouldn’t they?  It had been a hundred years.

When he still received no answer, the man grabbed one of the old women by her hood, and Zuko heard Katara cry out in alarm.  The officer dragged the woman roughly away from the rest of the group.  “He’d be about her age, by now, and master of all the elements,” he shouted, shaking the woman and sounding angry now.  “I know you’re hiding him, where is he?”

Silence answered him once more, and a blade of flame appeared in the man’s hand as he lifted it to the woman’s throat.  Gasps rose from the others, and Katara screamed.

Zuko cursed.  It was now or never.

“Stop!” he shouted, leaping down from his perch above the village and running towards the ice wall.  He scaled it and dropped easily to the other side, in full view of all of the shocked villagers, and the surprised Fire Nation men.  “Stop!” he said again.  “Let her go.  I’m the one you want.”

“You?” the man said dubiously.  He shoved the old woman back towards her people, and Katara caught the woman with a choked sob.  “You’re from the Fire Nation.  You can’t be the Avatar, you’re far too young.  An old Air Nomad, perhaps, or young water tribe, but you?  How did you even come to be here?”

Shocked gasps and murmurs had gone through the crowd at the mention of the Avatar, and Zuko gritted his teeth.  There would be no hiding it, now.  “That doesn’t matter,” he said.  “I am the Avatar, and I will not let you hurt these people.”

He sank into a defensive pose and bent fire to his hands, staring the man evenly in the face.  A yell from behind the man drew everyone attention.  Sokka had recovered and was once again charging the Fire Nation soldiers.  Their leader ducked fluidly, using Sokka’s own momentum to flip him to his back.  The bone club had gone flying, and Zuko thought that he would finally give up, but Sokka pulled another weapon from his back.  One look at the officer’s gleeful expression, and Zuko knew that he wanted Sokka to keep trying.  

“Enough,” he said, shoving Sokka back to the ground.  The boy snarled and tried to lunge, but Zuko shoved him again.  “Stay down!” he snapped.  “If you keep this up, that man is going to kill you and then who will protect your tribe?”

Sokka bared his teeth, but nodded his grudging agreement.  Zuko stepped back and Katara helped him to his feet. 

“Thank you,” she said, looking at Zuko.  Then her eyes went wide with alarm.  “Zuko!  Look out!”

Her expression had been warning enough, and he was turning to block even before she said his name.  He caught the man’s forearms with his own, and found the man staring at him, dumbfounded.

“Zuko?” he whispered.  He disengaged and took a step back.  “Prince Zuko?  How?”

Zuko only narrowed his eyes at the man, watching him warily.

“The scar,” the man muttered.  “I should have known.  I don’t know how it’s possible, but--you really are the Avatar, aren’t you?”

Zuko nodded once, curtly, and heard another murmur go through the people behind him.

The man’s face morphed into a cruel, avaricious smile.  “Remember this day, men,” he said, once more taking a combative position.  “This is the day that Captain Zhao captured the renegade Avatar prince and returned him to his people for justice.”

Zuko growled and launched himself at the man, attacking both with fire and martial skill.  The other men did not engage, as he’d expected, but maintained their perimeter around the fight.  All the better, Zuko thought.  Zhao’s arrogance will be his downfall.

He dodged Zhao’s admittedly skilled attack and went in low, hooking his foot behind the man’s ankle as he bent a crescent of fire towards the man’s head.  He succeeded in unbalancing the man, but a horrified, pained cry had him withdrawing and looking around him.

One of the children had fallen to the snow, an angry burn marring the girl’s face below her left eye, and Zuko felt time slow.  No. He felt the terror of the Agni Kai, the agonizing pain of the burn, the despair that had engulfed his younger self, and his vision went red with fury.

Not again.  He would not be a party to the maiming of children--and yet, he already had been.  He stared at the child, focusing on his breath, remembering Roku’s guidance.

“From the breath, Zuko,” hius mentor had said.  “A firebender’s power comes from the breath, and his skill comes from control.” 

And so Zuko breathed.  He sensed Zhao’s coming attack, and let it happen.  Let the man think he’d been too stunned by the child’s injury to defend himself; the more they underestimated him, the better.  He would surrender now, take the fight away from these simple people, and then he would free himself when no one else could get hurt.

Gran-gran knelt by the injured girl and her mother, trying to soothe parent and child alike.  Katara knew she should try to help, but she could only stare in frozen horror at the blistering red weal on the girl’s face.  It was just like the last time the Fire Nation had raided. Who else would be hurt before they were done?  Who would be killed?

Another crackling flare of flame had her leaping away from the combatants and then Zuko was falling, caught off guard by the attack from behind.  Zhao fell on him immediately, pinning his arms and yanking his head back with a fist around Zuko’s top knot.  

“You’re pathetic,” Zhao spat.  “Avatar or not, the histories were right in naming you a weak, honorless coward.” Zuko’s eyes flashed as he struggled in Zhao’s grip, and the man jerked back on his hair.  “Bring chains,” he called to his men, as he continued to sneer down at Zuko.  “It’s time that Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation went home.”

“No!”

Katara took a step forward, but Sokka caught her arm.  “Don’t,” he whispered hotly.  “There’s nothing you can do.”

“But--”

Sokka’s expression softened.  “Getting yourself killed now isn’t going to help him.”

Zhao’s men had bound Zuko’s hands behind his back with heavy chains and hauled him cruelly to his feet.  Zuko grunted, but gave no other outward indication that the wrenching of his shoulders had hurt.   

“It’s alright,” Zuko said, meeting her eyes.  “I’ll be fine.”

Zhao laughed.  “Sure you will,” he said.  Then he turned away and gestured towards the ship.  “Bring him,” he called over his shoulder.  “We’ll get the prince settled in his new ‘quarters’.”

The other soldiers laughed, and the one closest to him jerked Zuko around by his shoulder and shoved him forward.  “Come on, prince,” the man said, his tone derisive.

Zuko looked back at Katara one more time, then disappeared into the ship.  “They’re leaving,” she said, dazedly.  “They’re just--leaving.”

“Are you complaining?” her brother asked, bemused.

“Of course not,” she said, shaking herself.  “I’m just--”

“I know,” he said, putting a hand on her shoulder.  “Me too.”  

Behind them, Gran-gran was ushering the child and her mother back into her tent, where she could tend to the girl’s burn.  Everyone else stood with the siblings, watching the ship slowly pull itself out of the ice and back into open water.  

“This isn’t right,” Katara said.  

Sokka pursed his lips.  “I know.”

“He saved Gran-gran.  If he hadn’t--”  Katara swallowed, thickly.  She couldn’t finish that sentence.  

“I know,” Sokka repeated.

“And if he’s the Avatar?”  Katara turned at last to face her brother.  “If he’s the Avatar, Sokka, we can’t let them--”

“I know,” Sokka said again, beginning to look irritated.  “Do you want to figure out a way to go save your boyfriend, or would you rather stand around here wringing your hands all day?”

Katara’s eyes widened.  “Really, Sokka?”  He nodded and she threw her arms around his neck.  “You’re the best brother ever!  I--wait,” she stopped and pushed away from him.  “He’s not my boyfriend!”

“Whatever,” Sokka shrugged.  “I’ll start packing, you work on Gran-gran.”

Katara nodded, sobered by the thought of her grandmother.  She felt certain that the old woman wouldn’t want to let them go.  Maybe it would be better if they tried to slip away unnoticed?

She slipped into the tent where Gran-gran was tending to the child, and saw her smoothing the hair back from the girl’s face.  She was asleep, probably thanks to some of the healer’s herbs, but her pinched expression indicated that she was still in pain.  

“Will she be ok?” Katara asked quietly.

Her grandmother nodded.  “Come, Katara.  Let’s leave them in peace.”

They ducked out of the tent and moved a distance away, so as not to disturb the patient and her mother.  “Gran-gran--” Katara began, but her grandmother started speaking at the same time.

“What will you do?” she asked, her eyes bright and expression shrewd.

“Do?” Katara echoed blankly.

“You and your brother will have to go after him, of course.”  

Katara gaped at her grandmother, stunned by the woman’s insight and agreement.

“Don’t look so surprised, child” Gran-gran said wryly.  “I don’t know how you came to know that young man, but it was obvious that his appearance wasn’t a surprise to you or your brother.  Whatever happens next, your destinies have become entwined with his.”

Katara threw her arms around her grandmother.  “Thank you, Gran-gran!” she said.  “Thank you for understanding!”

“Enough of that, my dear.  How can I help?”

The next hour passed in a blur for Katara.  They gathered as many of their things as they thought they would need: bedrolls, food, Sokka’s club and boomerang, a spare change of clothes.  Katara touched her necklace, wondering if she should leave it behind.  She hadn’t taken it off since her mother’s death, but maybe it would be better to leave it where it would be safe.

“Take it,” Gran-gran said.  “It’s yours; it belongs with you.”

Katara nodded and hugged her grandmother again.  “I’m going to miss you,” she whispered as Sokka joined them.

“The canoe is ready,” Sokka said, “But I don’t know how we’re going to save anyone from the Fire Nation with a dinky little canoe.”

“Oh my,” Gran-gran said, paling.  “Is he a friend of Zuko’s?”  

Katara looked at her grandmother, then followed her gaze to the rise above the village.  There, looking down on them, was Fang.  He was a brighter red than Katara had yet seen him, and twin coils of smoke drifted from his flared nostrils.  

“Fang?” Katara said, feeling hope rise.  “Are you here to help us?”  The dragon’s head dipped in answer, and Katara grinned.

“Oh, no,” Sokka groaned.  “You just love taking me out of my comfort zone, don’t you?”

They realized quickly that they wouldn’t be able to ride Fang without some sort of harness for their gear.  Fang seemed to understand their quandary, and though Katara could sense the dragon’s growing impatience to be gone, he consented to let them strap an old polar bear dog saddle to his body.  It sat awkwardly behind his head, but it held their things securely in place.  Katara knew it wouldn’t be comfortable for him, but she also knew that they would need it.  

“Will that be alright?” she asked him anyway, stroking his side.

In answer, he lowered his head and rolled his large eyes toward her, as if inviting her to climb into the saddle.  

She smiled at him, hugged Gran-gran one last time, and then they were airborne almost before Sokka had settled himself in the saddle behind her.

“Spirits,” she gasped, and then coughed.  Fang had set out to follow the smoke trail from the ship’s engines, and she’d gotten a lungful of it.  “He really can fly!”

“I thought it was too cold,” Sokka yelled, his arms almost painfully tight around her middle.

She tugged at his hand and he loosened his grip enough to be bearable.  “I did too,” she said in answer to his question.  “But right now I’m too grateful to ask questions.”

Sokka grumbled behind her, but didn’t really argue with her.

“How long do you think it will take us to catch them?” she asked over her shoulder.  She’d been fretting over the amount of time they’d spent preparing to leave, worrying over every minute that Zuko had been a prisoner, but there had been no help for it.  Even now that they were on their way, she had no idea what they would do when they did catch the ship.  How in the world could two teenagers and a dragon do anything against a ship’s worth of fully trained Fire Nation soldiers?

Sokka, for his part, had been thinking along the same lines.  “Never mind that,” he said.  “What are we going to do when we catch them?”

Katara drooped.  “I don’t know,” she admitted.

“Well, figure it out fast.  There’s the ship!”

She looked up.  Sure enough, there it was, small in the distance but rapidly growing larger as they got closer.  The smoke trail had thickened dramatically, and Fang dropped lower to take them out of it.

“Look, Katara,” Sokka said, pointing.  “I think there’s something wrong down there.”

There were now three separate plumes of smoke where before there had been only one, and people roamed over the deck of the ship like a colony of disturbed turtle seals.  “He must have already freed himself,” she said, her spirits rising again.

As they watched, an explosion on one of the upper decks rocked the ship, and it began to list to one side.  

“Do you see him?” Sokka asked.

“No, not--wait, yes!  There!”  She pointed, but Fang’s eyes were apparently sharper than theirs.  He was already angling down towards the ship, losing altitude in an increasingly steep dive.  

A fireball soared past them, followed by another.  “They’ve seen us!” she said, unnecessarily.  Fang spun in the air, dodging the blasts.  Katara felt her stomach turn, and felt even more grateful for the saddle which kept them anchored to the dragon’s back.  The ship was coming closer at an alarming rate and the fireballs continued to fly past them, but Fang didn’t slow.

“Kataraaaa!” Sokka yelled, while Katara shouted at Fang.

The dragon pulled up at the last possible moment, sweeping soldiers from the deck of the ship with the undulation of his long, sinuous body.  Both Katara and Sokka panted, trying to recover their breath and their wits, when someone suddenly landed on the dragon’s head out of nowhere.  They screamed again, but it was only Zuko.

“Go!” he shouted, clinging to Fang’s scales.  “Get us out of here!”

Fang shot up into the sky, and they left the crippled Fire Navy ship behind.