#am I missing something or is this show gaslighting me again??

[wh0mst-is-this]

Mary Winchester has a brother???? I have so many questions and no answers??? [2x4] An uncle who paid for her headstone and never mentioned again like even when Mary’s dad came back or a flashback or even The Winchesters??

[jinwoosbabyboo]

“Will You Marry Me?"

How I imagine LADS Men would propose. This is part 2 of 2. I tried to do the sweet elegant writing, but that ain't me so here you go....

Xavier

Our lover boy Xavier is a literal prince. I feel as though he'd be very traditional with his proposal. The only unfortunate part is he can't ask for your fathers/family blessing because you know .... Anyway :)

He would definitely court you for a week even if you’ve already been together for over a year. The day of his proposal he would take you to a spot only he knows that has zero light pollution. Of course it’s deep in the forest.

MC: If I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re trying to kill me and hide my body Xavier: You have such creative thoughts MC: Seriously where are we going? Xavier: Somewhere special MC: So mysterious even after a year of dating

He’d bring you to a clearing that seemed like it was being lit up by a spotlight. It’s not though he chose to propose on a night with a full moon and clear skies so you could see how beautiful the stars are without all the city lights.

MC: It’s otherworldly Xavier: This was my favorite place to come when I needed clarity MC: Why didn’t you show me sooner? Xavier: I wanted to save it for a special day MC: oh what are you going to propose or something?

You’d be laughing and boom he pulls a ring out of his pocket shutting you right up.

MC: Oh shit! You’re really proposing Xavier: Yes im really proposing

His speech is so sweet it could give you cavities not only would he emphasize how much he loves you he’d let you know just how much he is solely yours. Even if you were to one day forget him and how much he loves you he would still always be yours and would do anything to keep you safe & most of all happy.

Xavier: My lady will you marry me? MC: I want nothing more

He might’ve been sweet and soft spoken during his proposal but that shy boy facade went out the window when you two got back home.

Sylus

It’s canon that Sylus gets nervous when he wants to ask you out. So just imagine how nervous he is getting ready to propose! He already constantly gifts you pretty gems and the gifts just keep increasing over the course of 3 months.

He second guesses himself thinking you may say no so he keeps putting it off but continues to shower you in gifts, quality time, full body massages, shopping sprees, dinner dates, lunch dates, you name it he’s doing it, you want it he got it. He’d be spoiling you so much you’d have to sit him down and ask him what’s going on. He would dismiss your concerns of course.

MC: Are you guys leaving for a while? Kieran: Why do you ask? MC: Sylus has been acting weird I feel like he’s about to disappear again Luke: That was one time and boss only did that because you asked him to leave you alone MC: I know but I’m worried now Luke: Relax miss hunter you’re overthinking

The twins would indeed gaslight you while Sylus worked up the nerve to propose. When he finally has the nerve to do it he goes all out. I’m talking he'd rent out the most exquisite restaurant money can buy. A whole staff at your beck and call. He'd wine and dine you with delicious food and expensive wine. By the time dessert comes you'd want answers.

MC: You're leaving me aren't you Sylus: Jumping to conclusions are we? MC: I'm serious Sylus you haven't been yourself lately you're worrying me Sylus: I guess this is the part where I explain myself

With two snaps of his fingers the twins would rush out; Kieran placing a giant box bouquet of Angel Trumpet flowers in your arms and Luke placing a crown on your head before rushing out leaving the two of you alone.

MC: What's this? and what am I a Princess? Sylus: You are and I'd love to change your title to Queen MC: Stop are you....

I don't picture Sylus giving a long winded speech. I feel like he would be the type to write it down so you could cherish his words forever.

Sylus: Will you marry me Miss Hunter? You can say no if- MC: Of course I'll marry you

Yet again I'm tackling this man as soon as he slips that ring on. Need to be in his arms immediately. Expeditiously.

Zayne & Rafayel here…

[sukirichi]

[ DUSK ‘TILL DAWN : 009 ]

“we who bear the burden of the crown do not need to love. you only need to stay here, with me, in power, in greed, in lust – in victory.”

c/w. 18+. modern royal au. infidelity. angst. gaslighting. toxic characters. very suggestive. toxic relationships. unedited. kiyoomi is horny. and uh suna too

notes. we are in kiyoomi arccc whewww, also i think i mentioned the word balls like three times. anyways.

wc. 10.8k

series masterlist 

[ NINE ] i know a place, it’s somewhere I go when I need to remember your face. we get married in our heads, something to do while we try to recall how we met

You were still reeling from your shock by the time your Mother showed up beside you. She must have noticed the quite interesting crowd of the royals and their parents, and couldn’t wait to indulge in the drama. A nosy creature, your mother was, but her presence comforted you. You had heard about it before – the tradition of having your last dance on your debutante ball would be your destined lover. Your mother would know; your father was her last dance. But you couldn’t remember it clearly, not when your only memory of your debut ball was the sinking dread of coming out into society and having to be removed from the comfort of your bedroom.

“My last dance,” you mused, plastering an apologetic smile as you turned to the older Prince. “Forgive me, Your Highness. I hadn’t known it was you.”

“As I’ve mentioned, I am the Forgotten Prince.”

Kanami ignored her son’s remark and clapped her hands. “It was a beautiful last dance as well. In fact, I’m certain your Mother remembers it.”

“I do! Oh, Princess, Miss Sakusa is right. I still remember that first time you danced with one of the Princes! It was magical!”

“It must be,” quipped Suna, who possessively wrapped an arm around your waist. He was close enough you could feel his breath on the nape of your neck, and even without looking at him, you could tell he was glaring at his brother.  “Kiyoomi is a fantastic dancer. But tradition aside, fate sure has a funny way of working out because I wasn’t her last dance, yet she married me. I am a lucky Prince for that.”

“You weren’t even at her debut ball,” mumbled the Second Prince, causing your eyes to nearly pop out your head.

You knew it was rare for royals to attend the birthday balls of even noble families, but finding out that your husband hadn’t danced with you on your special night was a different kind of hurt.

“The Crown Prince is a lucky man, indeed,” sighed Kanami dreamily, unaware of the tension between you four – with the brothers ready to tear at each other’s throat, and Iris’ smile slowly transforming into a grimace. An eventful night, indeed. “So, Your Highness, any thoughts on my invitation?”

You didn’t give it a second thought.

“I would love to visit Itachiyama, Kanami.”

“Splendid! Oh, come, come, we have much to talk about!” she stole you away despite your husband’s protests, and soon, you were led away from the crowd. It was all up to your Mother to hold Rintaro back. Glancing back at your husband worriedly, all the worries faded away. Because he wasn’t even looking at you, but rather at Iris, who clutched her head and murmured something while Rintaro fretted over her. The only person who looked at you was Prince Kiyoomi, his handsome face stoic while his mother yapped in your ear.

“You have no idea how happy you’ve made this old woman.”

You turned away from her son’s intense gaze, waving a dismissive hand in the hair. “Please. You are hardly old. I can only hope I look as good as you at that age.”

“Dear, you flatter me too much!”

Smiling at her cuteness, you glanced around the room to look at her again. It seemed like she knew she would be the tonight’s topic, as the Princess’ red lips flattened into a thin line. You almost had the urge to smile wickedly. Almost, if she hadn’t been leaning against your husband for support. You wanted to scoff. She really had the audacity to pretend she was the poor one here – and because of what? Because her mother in law disapproved of her?

She had everything already. She had your husband’s heart, and you couldn’t even keep his attention on you for longer than ten minutes.

The Princess needed to stop acting like a kicked puppy. Otherwise, you would truly give in to the desire to kick her until she whined and cried at your feet.

Gods. Since when had you been so violent?

“As much as I am looking forward to our trip, however, I cannot help but wonder why you seemed… against Princess Iris,” you voiced your thoughts out, feigning innocence. “I am only assuming, of course. I do not mean to say you hold any animosity towards Her Highness.”

“You are not wrong. I do hold some ‘animosity’ towards her,” chuckled the free-mouthed Kanami, almost as if she didn’t care anyone could hear. She was too laid-back for a foreign guest, but you supposed with her wealth and fame, along with the fact she was the biological mother of the Second Prince, her confidence made sense. “I am well aware it is wrong, and I could be gravely punished for speaking ill about the royals, but… I never quite liked her for my son. They were never a great fit.”

“Is it because he is older?”

“Pssh. The age gap hardly matters. He is only three years older. But there is something about Iris… something… off. I mean, I know my place. It is not like I married the King or was promised any security or titles when I birthed his son, but I am still his mother, and surely I have the right to care about his future. That includes who he marries, and quite frankly, I dislike his wife. She seems ingenuine.”

“How so?”

Kanami’s cheeks puckered out. “Well, imagine my shock when my son – who spends most of his time hiding away in his room with his nose buried in a book – suddenly becomes a husband in a fortnight! And to her, no less. It is all too suspicious, I tell you. I have never heard nice things about that girl and her mother.”

“Her mother was an honorable and loyal follower of the Crown. Despite being from Itachiyama, they pledged their lives to the Crown.”

“Which is odd in itself, because Itachiyama is a great country. We are peaceful, and if there are issues within the people, it is resolved immediately. So that whole sham of a story of her mother ‘defecting’ and moving here for a better life sounds unbelievable,” she shook her head, lowering her voice as she hid her lips behind her palm. “And I know her mother. Kate. She has always been ambitious, scarily so.”

“And you know this because…?”

“Because years ago, when His Majesty visited Itachiyama, I was not the one who meant to end up in his bed,” she admitted with a wince, “Kate had always set her sights on greater things. If she couldn’t be his wife, she could be his concubine, at the very least. And oh, His Majesty was smitten with her. She was a wonderful performer, and they shared too many drinks, but… Well, I, myself, am lost on what happened next. The King and I conversed the whole night, and I felt a spark, you know?”

Your head spun with all this information. You always knew the Royal Family Tree was a mess, thanks to the late King’s trysts with multiple women. But hearing about the history of it all caused your head to ache.

“I see. And that night, Kiyoomi was conceived.”

“He was. And Kate never spoke to me again. Next thing I know, I heard she moved to Inarizaki, and I figured she still hadn’t given up on the King. So when my son informed he was now married to Kate’s daughter, I was restless. I am most certain this had to be her doing.”

“Where is she now? Iris’ mother?”

“I don’t know,” she blinked, as if realizing this now, too. “She disappeared one day, and each time I asked Iris how her mother was faring, she’d stop speaking completely.”

“Perhaps she is not on good terms with her mother and is uncomfortable about the topic.”

“Perhaps,” she agreed, and then tilted her head to the side, a smirk on her pretty face. “Is it rude of me to say I wish my son married you instead? I know you are smitten with your Prince, but a mother can hope, can she not?”

The rest of the night, Miss Sakusa terrorized the guests. It was uncanny seeing how different she was to her son, who barely spoke a word. She was bright and lively, lived for sarcasm, and seemed to have a penchant for making Iris uncomfortable. You honestly would’ve felt bad if you didn’t agree to the mean things Kanami said about her. But that aside, you still couldn’t move over the fact that Iris was a huge contrast to Maiko. Maiko and Oikawa’s marriage, you understood. She came from an influential noble family, and so did Tooru. But who was Iris, exactly? How exactly did a citizen from Itachiyama, without a father and a mysterious, greedy mother end up being married to a Prince also in line for the crown?

Could it be that Kanami was right? Did Iris’ mother plan all of this – all to have a spot in the throne? If it was true, then you couldn’t cross out the possibility Iris may have seduced Rintaro when they were teenagers. He was the Crown Prince, for goodness’ sake. There was no quicker ticket to the throne than to have the rightful heir be smitten with you.

All this thinking wasn’t good for the night.

You were supposed to enjoy, and so you stole a glass when a servant passed and down the drink, uncaring if people thought it to be ungraceful for a Princess. It was an intimate gathering, anyway, with only the royal family and some of your closest friends and relatives. Surely they would understand you needed to loosen up.

Breaking free from Kanami, who had now taken her attentions to fixing Kiyoomi’s unruly curls, you watched as your Mother stood in front of the podium. She tapped the bread knife against her class, the clinking sound catching everyone’s attention. When she had them, your mother took a deep breath, searching for you in the crowd as a smile lit up her face.

You stiffened in your seat. Beside you, Rintaro took his place, his hand snaking down to rest on your thigh.

“I would like to thank everyone who graced us with their presence tonight,” your mother began, raising her glass in the air. “And I would like a toast in honor of Her Highness’ marriage, and to the Crown Prince, as well. I wish you both nothing but happiness and may you reign supreme.”

“To the Prince and Princess!” cheered the crowd. Feeling everyone’s eyes on you, you leaned back against Rintaro’s chest and smiled, the perfect image of a couple in love. Rintaro played the part, too, squeezing your thigh and pressing a kiss on the curve of your cheek. You let out a giggle – though it sounded more like a gurgle at the shock. Rintaro chuckled at your reaction, his chest vibrating with the sound.

You couldn’t deal with this anymore.

The night went from perfect to messed up, to you being slapped in the face with reality. You felt bad for yourself for not learning. Just because your husband danced with you, and he’d been perfect the past few days, didn’t mean he wouldn’t run to Iris if given the chance. You’d seen it with your own eyes. How if stuck in a situation where he was forced to choose between the two, he would choose her. And it was pathetic. You had his ring on your finger. You had the burden of his crown and title on your shoulders when all you ever wanted was love. And he couldn’t even give you that. Worse, he meant none of it.

How was it so easy for him to laugh and kiss you like it was the most normal thing in the world when both of you knew deep down he did not want you?

It was becoming unbearable. You needed to leave. Now.

Prying yourself off his grasp, you ducked. “Excuse me.” Rintaro couldn’t get the chance to speak when you darted past him and into the restroom. There, you heard the racing of your heart loud and clear – a song of both yearning and hurt lingering deep in your bones. You couldn’t understand it – not when you glanced at your reflection in the mirror and wondered… why not me? You were beautiful. You were educated. Surely, he must have seen good qualities in you if he chose to court you for two years when there were other more charismatic bachelorettes out there. Or… did he choose you because he knew you were inexperienced? Because you were lonely, shy, and therefore the easiest to manipulate?

The worst part of it all was that he had already made his intentions clear. You knew he loved her. You saw it in his eyes – the way his eyes drooped when he spoke about her, and his voice grew softer. How he yearned for her so badly talking about her hurt. But Maiko had given you false hope, and his sweet gestures didn’t help. This would all be easier if he hurt you, like he had back at your honeymoon, because then at least you would have a greater reason to hate him.

And that was what you wanted, wasn’t it?

To turn all this love into hate.

So letting him go would be easier. Although it never was.

Gripping the edge of the sink, you forced yourself to take deep breaths. Breathe in, breathe out. Count from one to eight with your eyes closed and focus only on the sensation of your lungs expanding and retracting. Do not think about him, do not think about his kisses, or his hand on your thigh, or how he called you beautiful –

“So this is where you were.”

You raised your head. Rintaro swung the door open, leaning against the doorframe as he watched you inquisitively. You both stared at each other like that for a moment, letting all the unspoken words just hang in the air until he broke the silence. “I’m sorry,” he sighed, sounding defeated. And this time, it sounded like he meant it.  “You know I don’t wish to lie to your parents like that.”

You shrugged, turning on the faucet and splashing some water on your face. It became harder to breathe when he was around – all handsome and every bit the piece of your greatest desire.

“It’s just another night we have to see the end of.”

“Are you really going to Itachiyama?” he craned his head, eyes narrowed. “I cannot accompany you.”

“I did not ask you to.”

“I know, but,” he tried to argue, crossing the distance in three long strides. Just like the other night at the Palace hallway, his large frame engulfed you, trapping you between him and the sink. With him this close, you could see the unmasked desperation written all over his face. The frustration. “It’s… it’s Kiyoomi. I am uncomfortable knowing you would be spending days with him. Alone, at that. At least take someone with you.”

“My maids are coming.”

“I do not mean the maids.”

“Then who should I bring? His precious wife?” you rolled your eyes, “In case you weren’t aware, she isn’t invited either.”

“She should be…”

You couldn’t stop yourself from planting your palms in his chest, and gave him a shove. Your stupid husband, all lean with muscle, barely budged. It irritated you further. “Oh, come on, Your Highness. Do not act like this inconveniences you. I will be away for days, and so is your lover’s husband. The two people standing in your way will be out of your hair. Shouldn’t you be rejoicing in delight? No better time to frolic around with your lover when your wife and her husband aren’t around.”

Rintaro’s jaw clenched.

“You are saying I should be happy my wife is going on vacation with another man.”

“It sounds to me like you are afraid of your own shadow,” you mocked, and Rintaro flinched back. He hadn’t expected the harsh truth of your words would pierce this deep. “I am not an adulterer, my Prince. It has never once occurred to me to seduce someone else when I am married. Besides, Iris seemed rather relieved at the prospect of having you all by herself for a week,” you reminded him, having seen the Princess’ newfound relief only moments after Kanami had announced you would be having a trip with her son. It made you want to laugh. “You should enjoy, my Prince. You can even fuck in our bedroom.”

Whatever distance he previously put between you disappeared.

Rintaro growled, slamming his chest into yours until there was nothing but your clothes separating you. He shook with fury, and you delighted in it. How you could provoke this reaction from him. And you laughed, or tried to, because all the noises you made got swallowed in your throat when Rintaro grabbed your throat. Not tight enough to choke you, but the pressure served as a warning. Swiping his thumb on your lower lip, Rintaro huffed.

“Every day you test my patience. I think I rather preferred you when you were more malleable.”

“Sounds like you married the wrong person, then,” you spat out, and Rintaro’s dark chuckle reverberated in the empty space of the room.

“Oh, I made no mistake choosing you, that I assure. You are perfect in my eyes, whether you believe it or not,” and sooner than you liked, your husband was off of you again. But he was still close enough that his fingers intertwined with yours, the touch shockingly gentle despite his apparent anger with you. “And because you are my perfect wife, and my Princess, we will go back out there with all smiles and laughter. We are to appear in love. Do you understand?”

You glared up at him defiantly.

“Fuck you, Rintaro.”

Your husband smirked. “Darling, I wish you would.”

You began packing for your trip to Itachiyama. It wasn’t supposed to be for another three days, since Kanami still had work and wanted to be free by the time you and Kiyoomi arrived, but after everything that happened between you and Rintaro, you were eager to leave. After that dreadful night at the ball where he forced you to hold his hand the entire time, your legs felt uncomfortable with slick.

As shameful as it was to admit, you hadn’t expected your husband’s anger would make you feel things. Sinful things that led you to sneaking your hands down your thighs when you got home. And by the Gods, you bit your lip so hard to not scream his name when he was just in the other room.

Another moment spent with him was just pure torture. So, you were running away.

It wasn’t the bravest thing to do, but you already tried braving it all, only to fail spectacularly. You were still weak around him, and until you managed enough strength to actually pretend you didn’t care about Rintaro, the distance sounded like bliss. Even if your husband eventually supported you in this trip, because ‘he can finally spend more time with Iris.’ Right. You wanted him to be happy about this, but heavens, couldn’t he act a little less eager to have you gone?

You think you would lose it if he truly fucked her in your bed.

“Call me when you get there,” Rintaro’s voice drifted through the wind, and you swallowed. You were now at the airport, and he stood there below the staircase, hands shoved in his pockets. Your heart ached at the sight of him – so handsome with the wind messing up his hair, his cheeks just slighty flushed from the cold, and his lips plump and swollen still from the farewell kiss he gave you. It was all just an act, of course, since there must be some lingering paparazzi, but you still felt him. You could still taste the mint of his toothpaste on your tongue, his strawberry candy lingering at your taste buds.

But of course, he didn’t love you.

You felt the lack of that, too.

“I’ll see you,” was all you said before turning around, already looking inside the plane and spotting Kiyoomi.

He sat on the seat across from you, his eyes closed with music playing in his headphones. He looked so peaceful like this. For once, he wasn’t frowning, and it was then that nervousness settled in you as you awkwardly shifted in your seat. You still weren’t quite too fond of the Second Prince – his dry remarks always baffled you. He always left you wondering if you should laugh it off, or if you should apologize. If not that, his silence itself was completely unsettling. And when he opened his eyes, his body as still as water when he regarded you, you were certain you stopped breathing.

“Are you ready to go?”

“Huh? Oh. Oh, yes. I am.”

The Prince nods, looking outside the window. You did, too, and then regretted it when you caught sight of Iris and Rintaro outside the limos, huddled together for warmth. To other people’s eyes, it would just be two people waving goodbye to their spouses as they left. But you and Kiyoomi knew better.

Wriggling back to make himself more comfortable in his seat, Kiyoomi turned up the volume in his phone. “Well, this is going to be fun.”

You wished you could agree.

When you woke, you had arrived in Itachiyama. It was only a forty-five minute flight, but you dozed off nonetheless, and when you did, Kiyoomi had already wrapped a blanket around you. You thanked the silent Prince for it, but he made no gesture to say whether he heard you or not. He was a gentleman, at least. Holding your hand as you made your way down the plane, opening the doors for you into his car, and offering you drinks as the driver headed to Kiyoomi’s farmhouse.

“I’m sorry you had to deal with my mother. She can be quite persuasive.”

You looked back at Kiyoomi. You had been staring at all the billboards of Kanami; commercial ads, movie promotions, and the like. It stunned you again how this loud and flashy woman was the mother of a silent, brooding man. Even now, he had himself glued to his seat, adamant to put distance between you both with his arms crossed against his chest. “I was delighted by her invitation,” you tell him, glancing outside the windows again at another huge billboard of Kanami eating local ramen noodles. ‘MUST TRY!’ it was captioned, and they colored her cheeks red from the spicy flavor. You chuckled. “Wow. She really is everywhere.”

Kiyoomi followed your gaze. “She’s Itachiyama’s darling,” he shrugged, and then leant forward until his elbows rested on his knees. Sheepish wasn’t a word you would use to describe the Second Prince, but he definitely looked like it right now. “I must let you know, my mother didn’t invite you to visit just because she felt like it. She… well, she wanted you to somehow see Itachiyama as your home.”

“But I already have a home.”

“Yes, but she is fond of you, and she’s delusional that you should’ve been married to me,” he scratched his cheek, purposefully avoiding your gaze. Then, his cheeks flushed red, and you felt heat crawling on your neck at the implication of his words. “Sorry. That was awkward.”

“It’s fine. You are a great man, so it’s not like being married to you sounds entirely bad.”

“Definitely beats being married to my brother.”

“I guess so,” you chuckled, expelling any thoughts of being married to Kiyoomi instead. It wasn’t such a bad thing, to be honest. He was tall, handsome, and respectful. All of the Princess were good-looking in their own ways, but Prince Kiyoomi held the type of regal beauty that you would have oil portraits of hanging on the entrance of your home. He was large, stood tall and imposing, but never did he actually make you feel small or irrelevant. And even with his mysterious and silent demeanor, his intimidating features did little to hide his humble and bashful nature underneath. Which you found adorable, but you would never say it out loud. Instead, you watched as a crowd gathered in the middle of the city. Children ran around laughing, and parents bought trinkets from the stalls set up at the edge of the road.

“What is that?”

“A culture festival. They hold it annually around this time of the year to welcome autumn and give thanks for prosperous harvests. It’s called Kōyō no Matsuri, or ‘Festival of the Changing Leaves.’ It lasts about eight days where the farmers come together and celebrate.”

Unable to contain your excitement, you pressed your palms against the window. “I heard about this from the Crown Prince. Something about Itachiyama being one of the main suppliers of harvest and livestock?”

“We’re mostly a farmer country, whilst Inarizaki is the more advanced and modern one. It’s mostly to do with how our terrain is just richer in natural riches, while Inarizaki boasts in academics and politics,” he informed, “On the third day of the festival, the farmers visit some shrines to offer thanks for their harvest, and on the fifth day, they gather around the old temples and castles before Itachiyama and Inarizaki were split into two.”

“Wow. I hadn’t known your country would be so rich with history.”

“Technically, both countries share the same history. They just took separate paths at the end of it all.”

Pushing yourself off from the window, the driver drove past from the festival commotion until more trees surrounded you. You figured you’d left the city and now travelled somewhere more remote – fitting for where Kiyoomi lived.

“Do you like it better here?”

“Yes. It’s much quieter, and here, people don’t care too much on how I’m supposed to act as a Prince. I’m not their Prince, after all. I’m just a half-blood who happened to be their spokesperson.”

Something about his tone told you there was more he wanted to say, but chose not to. You pondered over it – how the Princes were so different. Some loved their titles and basked in their wealth, while some took their duties seriously to serve their people better. And then there was Rintaro, who was nearly crushed by the pressure to become better than Ushijima, and Kiyoomi… Kiyoomi, who remains an enigma to you. From what you heard about the Second Prince, people called him lazy, rarely attending meetings and showing up only when needed. It made you wonder how he was like as a little boy, who probably just wanted to live normally and in quiet, but because he was a Prince, he had to become someone else entirely.

Letting it go, you decided to change the topic. You were certain the Prince would share more with you about himself when he was ready.

“Your Highness, I would love to attend the festival.”

“Really?” his brows raised, and your eyes caught the motion of his vertical moles following the movement. “I mean, you can, but there would be lots of people. Wouldn’t you rather rest?”

“I’ve been doing nothing but rest the past few days. It would be nice to go out and do something. Besides, I wish to know more about your people.” And you meant it. You were barely a few hours in Itachiyama, but it already reminded you of the peaceful Greenville where you were raised. Itachiyama was starting to feel like home, like Kanami hoped.

Across you, you remained unaware of the Prince’s soft smile.

“I see. I shall take you to the festival tonight.”

Seeing as Kanami still had her schedule filled, you and Kiyoomi had the rest of the day to yourselves until she returned. His mother did his best to welcome you, though, even in her absence. When you arrived at Kiyoomi’s farmhouse, she had already left you a bouquet of roses and a handwritten card telling you how happy she was her ‘daughter’ was now in her home country. It made your heart soften, even more so when she lent you a black-and-yellow floral yukata for tonight’s festival.

“You look nice,” Kiyoomi commented when you descended from the stairs, some flower pins in your hair. Overall, you felt pretty. It felt nice to be out of corsets and long-sleeved dresses. You could tell Kiyoomi approved too, as his eyes lit up, but his lips remained the same with an impassive expression. Offering his arm, you gladly took it, letting him lead you out and into the awaiting chauffeur. “Did my mother tell you to wear that?”

“She did. She said it would be more appropriate to wear traditional clothing fitting for the festival,” you gave a little twirl, and Kiyoomi’s lips curled by the slightest. It was enough to make you happy, and you were practically bouncing in your seat as the city lights came into view. Kiyoomi’s farmhouse rested on the countryside; surrounded by nothing but hills and endless amounts of grass. Signal couldn’t reach there, too, so you left your phone behind.

Tonight, you would simply enjoy this trip.

“Do you attend often?”

“When I can, yes, but… It’s a rather intimate celebration for the farmers, and I feel like I don’t do much for them, so I mostly sit out at home.”

“But you are a farmer, too, aren’t you?”

His eyes narrowed, but the reddening of his ears told you it was more of embarrassment. “Who told you that?”

“Your mother,” you chuckled. Once you’d arrived at the city, and the driver had parked somewhere else, you looped your arm around Kiyoomi’s and ventured into the heart of thefestival. “And I’m not stupid – you live in a farmhouse and have your own barn. I just never thought you would be the nature type.”

“There are lots you don’t know about me.”

“I can always learn.”

Kiyoomi’s gaze casted downwards. You couldn’t read his expression; he was always so guarded. But before you could contemplate on it further, you were swept up in the festivities. Everyone around you wore a yukata, and young couples held hands while wearing matching bracelets. Kiyoomi had told you those bracelets were special only for this festival, that the symbol of the moon was to pay respects to the Heavens for the blessings they bestow. Parents also joined in the night, with their children eating caramelized apples, and other candies. Mostly, the stalls offered food from their harvests such as roasted chestnuts, rice cakes, and pumpkin dishes. There was such a strong sense of community within the people that you were overwhelmed – Inarizaki didn’t feel as homely as Itachiyama.

An hour later, your stomach was well beyond full. You’d tasted and tried everything the farmers and their wives made. And when they saw the delighted way you closed your eyes and moaned at the delicacies, they offered you more and more. Kiyoomi paid for everything despite your protests, saying he was the host, and your only job for tonight was to enjoy.

Well, you surely wouldn’t complain.

Once you’d eaten your fill, and purchased a fox mask that matched your yukata, a group of young men started banging their drums. A woman played her flute effortlessly even behind her crow mask. Beside her, more people in matching crow masks sang in a foreign language. It sounded like a serenade; something about the voices were sweet, calling out to you like you were being seduced, and the hypnotic beats of the drum made your hips sway. But the most shocking part of it all was when people began to join in and held their partners, bumping their masks as if they were kissing, their hands squeezing each other’s waists and chanting along to the song.

You were mesmerized.

“That’s the Harvesting Dance,” Kiyoomi whispered in your ear, “They dance in hopes to bring joy to the ancestral spirits for blessing them with good harvest this year.”

“Must it always be a man and a woman?”

“It’s… an intimate dance,” he struggled to let out, and you craned your head towards him. He’d bought himself a fox mask to match yours, claiming he’d feel more comfortable if people didn’t recognize him. “Like the union of man and woman, they have become one with the ancestral spirits. It’s a time for reconnecting to their old ways, and showing gratitude for the family they’ve been given. And, uhm…” he scratched the back of his ears, which had turned pinkish again, “Well, it’s not just about harvest, really. It is also a dance for fertile crops and fertile wombs.”

Realization dawned on you.

“Oh!”

“It is a newly married couple’s tradition to participate in the dance.”

You nodded at the information, feeling both flustered and entertained at the Prince’s bashfulness. You almost wanted to tease him more about it until you were dragged by a young woman, her male partner already waiting for her in the middle of the dance. She rotated her hips in a circle and jumped to the beat, head thrown back in laughter. You couldn’t help but laugh with her, too – her laugh was contagious, and Kiyoomi was right. There was a sense of freedom when people didn’t know who you were.

“You lovebirds! Don’t miss out on the dance, unless you want the ancestral spirits to take away your virility!”

“Oh, thank you, but–”

“You are newly married, are you not?”

“I am, but–”

“Then come dance so you may be blessed with many healthy offspring!”

Sending a halfhearted apologetic smile to Prince, you dragged him with you. You realized he couldn’t see you, exactly, but your eyes were crinkled enough from your joy. He grumbled a bit, but otherwise didn’t complain. When the music played again, you mimicked the locals’ movements and giggled so hard your stomach hurt. Some of the steps were suggestive – a flirty brush of your knuckles on Kiyoomi’s chest, or him rubbing his mask tenderly at the sensitive spot of your neck. Through it all, you had to remain connected to each other. It was hard to tell who held who tighter – Kiyoomi had his hands planted on your hips with a deliciously vice-tight grip, and the fronts of his kimono had been undone by your teasing, restless hands.

You now understood why the dance encouraged fertility. There was so much seduction with only just your bodies, with no words needing to be spoken. And you couldn’t help but wonder – is this the way to Kiyoomi’s heart? Because he is not the best with words, so you had to touch him at all the right places?

You received your answer when the drums came to a crescendo before immediately halting. Like a growing orgasm, until it exploded from within, and you found yourself pressed up against Kiyoomi’s. Pressed close enough that his breathing matched yours. His eyes, already dark, grew impossibly darker.

“That was fun!” you bumped your mask with his, breathing hard underneath. “Has anyone told you you’re a great dancer?”

The Prince snorted. “I would be surprised if I wasn’t. I spent the good half of my childhood enduring dance lessons, thanks to my mother.”

You laughed hard at that. Already, this was becoming one of the best nights of your life. Back in Inarizaki, you didn’t go out much to socialize. All the other unmarried ladies seemed to be well-versed in charismatic social skills and effortlessly landed a husband within months after their debut into society. You, on the other hand, having grown up as an only child with busy parents, had no one to talk to. You stuttered a lot, and always stumbled on your own thoughts when voicing them out loud. It truly was a surprise to everyone that the Crown Prince found you interesting – even if that seemed a lifetime ago.

But you supposed you really weren’t the same person anymore. Because if you were still the same shy, bumbling young woman from years ago, you wouldn’t be here in Itachiyama, laughing without a care in the world with a handsome Prince at your side. He’d bought you more trinkets, and another set to gift to your mother when you returned home. You found it incredibly sweet, but of course, Kiyoomi only grumbled in embarrassment when you told him about it.

By the time Kiyoomi’s arms were filled with shopping bags, the crowd began to lessen. It was getting late, yet you were in no hurry, walking at a snail’s pace along the closed roads.

Silently hoping this moment would last forever.

“Your homeland is beautiful, Your Highness.”

“Thank you,” he said, and his brows furrowed deep in thought – as if hesitating. “They end tonight’s celebration with a Lantern Lighting Ceremony. Would you like to see?”

Your jaw dropped. Can this night get any better?

“I would love to!”

Since some of Kiyoomi and your security were still discreetly following, he handed them the bags before leading you away from the roads and near a lake, just beside the heart of the city. There, floating hydrangeas decorated the water, looking like it came out of a painting. Lanterns were already being lit up from where you stood – some with a rented wooden boat, and the rest content to just remaining in the concrete pavement, their hands weaved together as they mumbled themselves.

You turned to Kiyoomi in question. “It works like a birthday wish,” he explained, politely bowing to the old man who sold lanterns and match sticks. “You say your greatest desire, and then you let go of the lantern. The ancestral spirits will hear of your prayer and grant it to you.”

Doing as he said, you close your eyes. You could hear Kiyoomi lighting the match as he lit up the lantern, and you wished for more of this – more joyful, peaceful nights. It seemed like a simple wish, but with your current predicament, you had to jump at any chance of luck you could get. After all, you would have to leave Itachiyama someday. Your life wasn’t always going to be like this – of dances, of candied apples, of lighting lanterns and simply feeling alive. Because you knew once you returned home, reality would set in. So you prayed, and desperately wished, to experience happiness.

Satisfied, you cracked your eyes open, beaming at how the golden lantern burned even brighter in Kiyoomi’s large hands. Seriously, his hands were so big and his fingers long he almost encompassed the entire paper globe. However, he only had his eyes on you, his expression somber and lips tight – almost as if he knew you had wished for something impossible, and he, too, wanted your wish to come true.

“Did you wish for anything?”

“No.” He shook his head, “I already have everything I could need. The farmers need the prayers more than I do.” Again, you were stunned by the Prince’s thoughtfulness. He turned to you to ask if you were ready to let go of the lantern, and you nodded, the both of you watching as it soared up high in the sky – the dark night decorated with a hundred little lanterns like stars rising from the lake.

It was pure magic.

“Whatever it is you wished for,” Kiyoomi mumbled, “I hope it will come true.”

Your lips wobbled. “I hope so too.”

He nodded, feeling awkward once more, and you nearly laughed. The Prince clearly wasn’t great at dealing with genuine emotions. “Are you tired? We can return home already.”

“I’d like to walk on the way back to the car. I don’t want the night to end just yet.”

Kiyoomi wasn’t against your idea. You shared the silence in peace, gratitude and pure, unabashed happiness blooming from within your chest. You suddenly missed your mother; wishing you could’ve taken her with you. She would’ve loved it here. She would shamelessly do the Harvesting Dance with your father, because they were still enamored with one another even after years of marriage. They were the reason you believed in true love and hoped to have it for yourself. But alas, fate had different plans for you.

It had made you fall in love with the wrong person and made you a Princess in the aftermath.

Sneaking a glance at Kiyoomi, you noticed he’d already taken off his mask. His handsome features were bathed in the moonlight, making him look even more ethereal than he already was. His features, strong, and dark, and sharp, yet his lips were curved so softly, his dark eyes nothing but tender and patient.

He held none of the malice or greed the other Princes had.

“Do you enjoy being Prince, Your Highness?” you blurted after a while, because talking seemed to be the better option than ogling at his beauty. No, you couldn’t do that. You were both married to someone else – and you would rather lose your title than be unfaithful like Rintaro.

Rintaro. Just the thought of his name soured your mood.

“Not quite,” he admitted, “It isn’t as grand as it sounds. There are lots of things to do, and a myriad of rules to follow. But I still think this responsibility bestowed on me is an honor. After all, not everyone has the privilege to be born with a purpose. Many people spend the rest of their lives looking for it, but mine was handed in a silver platter.”

“Hm. I never thought of it that way. I… I always thought you hated being Prince.”

“I do not despite it, but neither do I like it.”

“What would you be doing, then, if you were born as a commoner?”

He side eyed you, a hint of a smile appearing on his face. “Farming.”

You both laughed. Of course that was his answer. “Why am I not surprised by that?”

“What about you?” he asked, tilting his head to the side and briefly glancing at the fat, extravagant ring on your finger. The sight of it made him wince, but he schooled his face into impassiveness before you could think about it. In return, you searched for his wedding ring too, frowning upon the realization he hadn’t worn it. “What would you be doing if you hadn’t married my brother?”

“Hmm… Managing the household… learning the business, although if you ask me, I really would have wanted to get married, regardless if it was to a royal or not. In fact, I never even dreamt of being a Princess. It just never seemed to be possible for me.”

“You’re a great Princess,” he commended, and that warmth blooming in your chest had fully sparked. “Who would you have married, then?”

“Anyone who loved me and cherished me,” you scrunched up your nose, feeling bashful. “I am quite the simpleton, aren’t I?”

“There is nothing wrong with wanting simple things.”

His words held nothing but sincerity. Coming from a Prince who didn’t indulge in the lavishness he could have with his life, and opted for farming instead, you believed him. And it felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulder, like a breath you’d been holding had been released. Kiyoomi was like a breath of fresh air. He was so different from his brothers – so detached from the crown, yet so connected to the world and its humble gifts. Kita was different, too, but he held a sharp edge to him. He wielded his intelligence and knowledge like a weapon, because living anywhere near the throne was a battle in itself, but Kiyoomi was just… different.

In a world of polished gems, he shone brightly as a raw diamond.

“Your Highness, I… I know most of royal marriages are arranged, and rarely does it happen out of love, but why Iris? You are the second Prince. Anyone of you could have had anyone you wanted, and Iris didn’t seem wealthy or influential enough to be a royal spouse candidate. Why her?”

“Because she’s from Itachiyama.”

“That’s it?”

Kiyoomi licked his lips, thinking about his answer before he spoke them. “You are aware I’m the only son with a foreign mother. When I was born, they saw potential in me, to possibly unite the two territories into one again. But I was aloof, and liked to keep to myself, so I lacked in that department. When Iris had been presented to the Queen by her mother and they pledged their loyalty to the throne, she was made a royal scholar,” he glanced at you, gauging for your reaction. “You are right that she isn’t anyone’s first choice to be a Prince’s wife. She comes from a common family with nothing to her name. But she is intelligent, and she has always shown dedication to the throne. That was enough to convince the Queen we were the most sensible pair.”

“And is it working? Are we being united to your homeland?”

“No. Iris has barely stepped foot in Itachiyama,” This time, Kiyoomi turned away from you and licked his lips. “She mostly does work at the Palace.”

“Because Rintaro is there?”

“Precisely.” You knew he would answer that, but the image popping in your head was unkind – of Iris and Rintaro making love to one another while you weren’t around.

“Do you love her? Or hold affection for her, in the very least?”

“Not at all. I never wanted to marry, and my opinion of her hasn’t changed since we married,” the determination in his voice surprised you, a hardness settling over his features. “Royal marriages are always done with a political purpose, Princess. It was, and never will be, out of love.”

The conversation died at that. You didn’t press further, either, because you knew Kiyoomi hadn’t said those words to hurt you. He only meant to remind you. And you were thankful, because he chose to be honest, albeit cruelly, when everyone else made you a fool – a weak fool who had to be fed lies because people believed you wouldn’t be able to stomach the truth. Perhaps they were right, perhaps you were weak, but Kiyoomi didn’t look at you like that. He only looked at you like he despised everyone for even lying, or keeping secrets, and he’d made it his mission to be truthful.

Truly, your unexpected friendship with the Prince had been the greatest gift.

“Thank you for the lovely evening, Your Highness,” you bowed to him, quite ready to retreat back into the guest room once you’d reached his farmhouse.

“It was my pleasure,” he returned the bow, yet remained frozen at the bottom of the staircase, tongue darting out to lick at his lower lip nervously. “Oh, and Princess? Would you… come and like to meet my horses tomorrow? I think you would like them.”

Somehow, the thought of Kiyoomi introducing his horses to you, and nerding out about them, put a smile on your face. Getting to know the Princes was like unwrapping a gift – you never know if you would like what was inside. But you most definitely liked Kiyoomi, and you remained true to your word that you would learn everything about him. His horses, his history, the contents of his heart, and every inch of his farmhouse and barn if he would let you.

“I would love to.”

You couldn’t stop tossing and turning in your bed.

Today’s events still played on your mind like a loop. The festivities, the freedom that came with anonymity, the connection of the citizens to their culture and history – you realized they were so different from Inarizaki. Inarizaki had its great parts, too, like their dedication to the monarchy and the power they held. It was a country known for having many scholars as the academe was greatly funded by the monarchs, but somehow it always felt… detached. Detached from nature, detached from the basic aspects of humanity.

Inarizaki cared about greatness, and so did its people. It was the sole reason why they had such strict customs and adhered to the law like their life depended on it. Itachiyama was different. They weren’t the most advanced – their buildings not as tall, their country mostly surrounded by beaches or forests, with their people preferring the old ways. Yet somehow, you felt more at home here.

It reminded you of Greenville and summers spent chasing dragonflies and lying on the grass to sunbathe.

It reminded you of a childhood long gone.

Sighing to yourself, you slipped out of the covers. The clock read it was just quarter past two am. Kiyoomi’s staff were already asleep, and you were certain each footstep you took would cause the floorboards to creak. Still, there was only so little you could do in your room. The TV didn’t have cable, Kiyoomi wasn’t interested in having Wi-Fi, and the place was rather empty of anything that could entertain you.

Surely a little exploring wouldn’t hurt, though. Slipping your arms into your robe, you tied it around your waist and exited your room. The hallways were dark and empty, and you held your breath, tiptoeing around the halls. You didn’t know why you were so nervous to be caught. It wasn’t like you were doing something wrong, although you did look suspicious turning every knob and groaning when none opened.

What was the point of all these rooms if you couldn’t enter them?

Walking around, you studied every bit of Kiyoomi’s farmhouse. It was grand in size, and nothing about the chandeliers and marble floors were the least bit modest, but it felt homey. There were knick-knacks everywhere, messy childhood paintings and poorly drawn stick-figures hung up on the wall. Upon closer look, you saw Tobio and Tooru scribbled upon the drawings. Smiling to yourself, you took it all greedily – the lack of family pictures replaced by these artworks, the fresh flowers with Kanami’s name tagged on a card lovingly taken care of, and a single portrait of Kanami with a younger Kiyoomi on her lap.

You could imagine how once in the past, the brothers spent many nights in this house, ran around chasing each other with their high-pitched squeals.

They were boys before they became Princes.

They were brothers before they were rivals.

Your hands reached out for the drawings. Even Shinsuke’s was there, and to no one’s surprise, his was the best. The colors were always within the lines, and he had clean, smooth strokes of his brush. Keiji’s was second best, but his looked more like scribbles and sketches than a polished end result. Ushijima didn’t have any drawings, but a certain stick figure drawing from a little Tobio counted eight brothers holding hands. ‘Brothers forever’, he scrawled underneath, causing your heart to ache.

He hadn’t included Rintaro in the picture.

Letting go of the drawings with a frown, you took a step back and collided with something solid. You gasped, a scream nearly torn out your throat when you studied the figure now standing in front of you. Broad shouldered, with unruly curls surrounding his face, and his head tilted to the side in confusion – Prince Kiyoomi looked like a dream come true. One shouldn’t look this ethereal in the dark hallways of his house, with nothing but the moonlight slipping through the glass windows illuminating the sharpness of his cheekbones.

He stood so still and quiet you couldn’t hear him breathe. Had he been here for a while?

You placed a hand to calm your racing heart. “Your Highness. I’m sorry, I didn’t know you’d still be awake.”

“It’s okay,” he mumbles, looking past you and to the drawings just as his brows pinched together. “I didn’t know you’d be awake, too. Is your room not to your liking?”

“Oh, no, no, it is. I’m just…”

“Feeling homesick?”

“Not quite,” you scrunched your nose, “Today was just amazing. I’m still reeling from the joy of it all.”

He nodded, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. You watched him have an inner debate before he nodded again, gesturing to the staircase. “Follow me. There’s something I’d like to show you.”

The Prince led you to the hallway where his room and Kanami’s was located whenever she visited. At the end of the hall stood two grand double doors that could only be opened by a key from his pocket. The doors squeaked as it open, and you both coughed as dust fluttered through the space. Clearly, it hadn’t been used in a while, but that mattered little when he switched on the lights. Rows upon rows of books stood tall enough to nearly hit the ceiling. The room had a dome-shaped structure, with the walls carved in to make more spaces as bookshelves. In the middle sat a velvet red couch with a wooden table decorated with a vase of flowers. However, it wasn’t the books that took your breath away – it was the grand spiraling chandelier that slowly flickered to life like candles being lit, bathing the room in a warm, soothing light.

Unable to help yourself, you stepped inside, jaw dropped at the beauty of it all.

“This is my library.”

“This is marvelous,” you chuckled out, breathily, running your fingers over the spines of the books. They were covered in dust, but otherwise in pristine conditions. Most of them were classic collections too – the types of books you would only find in antique shops. And was that an official journal from an ancient royal? You couldn’t believe what you were seeing. This couldn’t be just a personal collection – these had to be an official record room.

“Are these all yours?”

“Some of it were my father’s. His Majesty liked to read.”

You glanced at Kiyoomi from under your lashes. He stood at an arm’s length away from you, casually leaning against the bookshelf whilst you pull out a random book. The Anthology of the First King, it read.

“You’re the first Prince who ever spoke of him.”

Kiyoomi’s gaze flittered over yours, from your fingers caressing the ancient book delicately, to the way a smile graced your face upon inhaling that addicting old book smell. His voice, if possible, grew quieter. “I know my brothers all dislike him, and I don’t blame them,” he continued, “But His Majesty raised me as best as he could. It may have been because of the power I could wield as a foreigner, but he came here often. He was the reason I grew up with a fondness for books.”

You hadn’t heard of that before. As far as you knew, the late King seemed absent in all of his son’s lives, but then again, the royal family had always been a complexity.

Turning away from the historical section, you beamed at the Prince. “Well, this is quite an impressive collection. His Majesty has taste.”

Kiyoomi fought back a smile. The gesture shouldn’t have looked as adorable as it did, and now you were fighting back a smile, too. You liked him this way – you like him much better here in Itachiyama. Whenever he was at the Palace, you could see the walls he surrounded himself with, how he closed himself from the world. But here? Here, he was just a man eager to talk about the things he loved, and you eagerly followed him when he gestured you to.

“This is my section,” he pointed to a rack spanning from floor to ceiling, then to the shelves next to it. “And that is Tooru’s. The one at the back is Keiji’s.”

Tooru’s section was… surprising, to say the least. He had all of Shakespeare’s books, with a multitude of romance and tragedy novels. His books looked to be the most loved out of everything you’d seen – with cracked spines, folded paper edges, and annotations on the pages. “Tooru’s? These are all romance novels.”

“It may be hard to believe, but he is a hopeless romantic,” Kiyoomi snickered, “Keiji, on the other hand, loves to read historical fiction. And don’t tell him I told you this, but he wrote three of these books here.”

“He’s a writer?!”

“A splendid one,” he boasted, pulling out a book titled The Fall of Belle. “He wrote this about Belleview Manor when he was eighteen. Belleview was notorious for housing the most, er, complicated royals, you see. He was inspired by it and turned it to a kingdom, writing something about soldiers and poets and kings. It’s a really good novel. I highly recommend you read it.”

Kiyoomi was already shoving Keiji’s novels into your arms before you could say anything. Next to Keiji’s was Shinsuke’s collection – unsurprisingly again, were mostly textbooks. The Itachiyaman Law, the Governance, the History of Inarizaki, The Fall of the Union. You weren’t too interested, so you moved onto the next shelves and blinked back at what you saw.

Beside you, the Prince cleared his throat in an attempt to hold back a smile. “That is Tobio’s section.”

“These are… balls.”

Instead of books placed on the shelves, they were balls, all held up carefully by expensive looking holders. Each one of them had signatures written on them with markers, along with a tag underneath of several dates. “Volleyballs, yes. He had these signed by his favorite players, and those are the dates of the matches,” he explained, slowly moving behind you until you could feel the heat radiating off of him. Looking up at the Prince, you saw he wasn’t looking at you, but rather at the sports equipment with what seemed like fondness, and regret, in his eyes.

“He’s always loved playing sports as a child. He was rather good at it, too. Shame he couldn’t go pro.”

“Because he’s a Prince?”

Kiyoomi nodded. “He may be the youngest, but that doesn’t mean he’s freed from his duties. The Queen knows the kingdom loves him so she has quite a grand plan for Tobio to start tours by himself and see if he’d be more successful in establishing connections with others,” shaking his head, the Prince closed his eyes. “He may marry soon, too.”

“He’s too young to be married.”

“He isn’t that young, but I know what you mean,” he said, “Although I think Tobio will find it the hardest to marry out of every one of us.”

“Why so?”

Kiyoomi shrugged. “He’s a romantic. Not like Tooru in the sense that he would recite Shakespeare’s sonnet to seduce a woman he likes, but in the sense that he still innocently believes he can marry someone of his choosing. That’d only work if she was a noblewoman, though. Otherwise he might experience the same fate as Shinsuke.”

Ah. Shinsuke and his maid – a tragedy in the making.

You looked away from Kiyoomi. Shuffling the books in your arms, you shuffled to the lone seat in the room and plopped down on it, wincing when your arms ached from the weight. “You know a lot about your brothers.”

“I’ve spent a long time watching them,” he confessed, and the sofa dipped beside you. He leant back against it, his long legs crossing over the other as he tilted his head back, watching what little he could of the stars visible from the dome-like ceiling. “It wasn’t always like this. There was a point in our lives we used to be closer and didn’t care too much about the throne.”

“Who were you closest with?”

“Tooru and Keiji. They both loved reading, and so did I. I wasn’t very close with the younger ones because they were rambunctious, especially the twins. But I like Tobio a lot,” he smiled, albeit sadly. “I hope the crown never fails him. I would do anything to ensure he stays unaffected by the harshness of it.”

“He’s a precious boy,” you agreed, and then thought back to the drawings in Kiyoomi’s living room. Biting your lip, you suddenly stood up and headed for the last shelf at the end of the room. Silently hoping, wishing, it was Rintaro’s section. Behind you, you heard the Prince shuffle on his feet as he followed you around. “And… Rintaro? Were you close with him back then, too?”

You already expected the answer, but it didn’t disappoint you any less when you heard it.

“No. The Queen always kept him isolated. I rarely saw him growing up, but on the few times I did, he always looked like he wanted to play with us. He wasn’t allowed, though. Her Majesty was… eerily wary of him getting too close with his brothers,” Kiyoomi let on, his handsome face contorting to that of discomfort when you blankly stared at him. Then, his ears reddened, and he coughed out of nowhere, his large palm covering his mouth. “I fear I may have talked too much. Please, look around. I’m sure you’ll find something you’ll like.”

Happy to do so, you left no inch and corner of the library unturned. Tooru had the most interesting collection with his romance novels, but you found Keiji’s section to be the most curious. A moment later, you had a dozen books stacked on top of each other at the nearby table. You just wanted one more – a book about Tobio’s favorite sport so you could ask the sweet Prince about it when you returned home.

Unfortunately, the first five rows of Tobio’s shelf consisted of his signed volleyballs, and his books sat at the top ones. You had to stand on your tiptoes, only for your fingers to barely graze the spine of it. Damn it. Taking your slippers off, you bunched your nightgown and robe in your hand and used your free arm to hoist yourself up. Your feet landed on the wooden boards of the shelf as you struggled to reach for A Dummy’s Guide to Volleyball when your foot slipped.

The ground disappeared beneath you.

Gravity consumed you as you fell, the book you’d been reaching for sliding out of its place and nearly knocking into your forehead. But it never came. Your face never smacked the ground, and your bum seemed safe, too. Instead, strong arms wrapped around your waist until you landed on a hard body with an ‘oof’, the breath knocked out of your windpipe.

Kiyoomi groaned underneath you.

Gasping, you realized you’d accidentally elbowed him in the chest. The poor prince had turned red in the face as he struggled to breathe, and you hoisted yourself up to move yourself out of the way, realizing a little too late how little you wore. Or how thin your nightgown was. Or how you didn’t wear a bra to sleep and forgot to wear one when you left the room, and now your hardened nipples were brushing against his chest. Underneath you, Kiyoomi inhaled in sharply, his dark eyes darting from your cleavage and to the books – the movement so fast you wondered if he had whiplash.

You froze. This was… quite a predicament to be in.

If you slid your body upward, your lace panties would brush against his crotch. If you slid yourself downwards, you’d graze your sensitive nipples on his silk blouse. But if you slid sideways, that would mean you had to rise your upper body to get your knees to stop straddling him, and he’d have an even closer view of your breasts.

In conclusion, nothing would work.

“Let me, just, uh, move,” the Prince groaned beneath you, and you nodded fervently. He could do whatever he wanted at this point as long as it meant you’d both be separated. However, luck was not on his side either. As soon as the Prince gripped your hips to lift you off of him, his hips rose on instinct, accidentally thrusting into you.

The Prince stopped breathing, and so did you.

Within the blink of an eye, the Prince had torn you off his body – and he was suddenly at the other side of the room. Color drained from his face just as his skin from the neck down blistered red, the poor Prince snatching a nearby book to hide the growing tent in his pants.

“My apologies,” he blurted out, looking at everywhere but you. “I didn’t – I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s okay,” standing up, you dusted yourself off and wobbled on your feet. Great. Your legs felt weak, and your voice didn’t come out as confident and composed as you liked it to be. Rather, you were both breathless – and you couldn’t tell if it was from the adrenaline, or the delicious way his body molded to yours.

A pleasure you would not be thinking of. Ever. Again.

“Uhm. Thank you. Your library is really nice.”

The Prince nodded, taking his lips between his teeth. “I should, uh. I should go.”

“Yes, that might be for the best,” you croaked out, and just like that, the Prince was gone. The heavy slamming of the doors was the last thing you heard before you were engulfed in a deafening silence.

That night, you did not get any sleep at all.

And you were restless for all the wrong reasons.

[hyunniesgirl]

Call it what you want

Pairing: Hyunjin x fem!reader

Summary: You and Hyunjin were never on the best terms but when you're cheated on and your ex is trying to get you back, Hyunjin does everything he can to prevent it from happening.

Genre: enemies(ish) to lovers, smut, fluff

Words count: 4,102

Warnings for this chapter: cheating, mentions of violence, insecure thoughts(if there's anything missing let me know)

A/N: english is not my first language so if you find any mistakes please let me know.

Chapter one: shameless

Next chapter: drunk

+18 minors do not interact!!!

That week was the worst since you started college. Everything was going wrong. You had bombed on your last exam, forgot a project due to that week and to top it off you were on your period with cramps that could surely kill you.

You're used to these symptoms by now, sometimes you even faint from the pain. So a day before your best friend's birthday party you let all your friends and your boyfriend know that you won't be able to show up.

Turns out that after you rested a lot and took some really strong meds you are well enough to get up. The truth is that even though you are still feeling weak and nauseous, you will make some extra effort because it's Jisung's birthday.

You don't bother dressing up, all you care is to be comfortable so a hood and sweats are enough.

When you arrived, the party was already crowded. Jisung's house is huge so to be bustling with people like this he must have invited half of the people in school.

"Hey! What are you doing here?", you hear Chan's voice as soon as you enter the door.

"Am I not welcome?", you joke, giving him a hug and he smiles.

"Of course you are, I just thought you were sick", he says, examining you to see if you're alright.

"I am, but I took some meds so I could come", you say looking around, trying to find the birthday boy.

Before Chan could answer you, someone catches his attention, you look up his shoulder and see Hyunjin, one of your friend's friends, he looks at you up and down and raises an eyebrow.

"Y/L/N"

You roll your eyes, "Hwang"

He whispers something to Chan, but you're not interested nor well enough to pick a fight with him at the moment, so you say bye to Chan and go looking for Jisung.

You don't find him anywhere downstairs so you go look on the second floor, maybe he's in his room. Before opening the door you take a deep breath preparing mentally, if he is hooking up with someone you'll just congratulate him later.

He's not there though. You take your phone out of your pocket and send him a message asking about his whereabouts. You begin wandering around, expecting his response and looking in the other rooms to see if you can find him or anyone else you know.

And you do find someone.

Your boyfriend.

Your dear boyfriend on top of a girl you don't know.

Never in a million years would you have expected your boyfriend to cheat on you, so it was pretty shocking when you saw him in that situation.

"Are you fucking kidding me?", that's the only thing you were able to say, to convey your feelings, there's a lot running through your mind at the moment: confusion, hurt, disgust, anger.

You say it loud enough for them and the people in the corridor to listen.

"Y-Y/N?", he stammers looking like he is seeing a ghost.

Your mind is flowing with so many thoughts you can't process it, the only thing you know is that you need proof so he or anyone won't be able to gaslighting you in thinking you saw it wrong.

You have your phone in your hand, so you open the camera and take a picture. He's still there paralyzed. Is it fear? Embarrassment? Does he not care enough to try and explain himself?

You are not thinking straight but you have to get out of there. You need to.

You're feeling dizzy, suddenly the medicine you took lost all effect and you are feeling sick again. Your blood is boiling and you want to cry, but you can't, not in front of so many people.

Soon as you are downstairs you begin to see double and your steps begin to falter, you try with all your mighty to walk straight. But when everything turns black and you feel your legs giving out, you can't feel the ground when you fall.

When you regain consciousness you're inside of a car and to your surprise you see Hyunjin there, looking at you with the most worried face you have ever seen on him. When he sees you blinking and opening your eyes his uninterested look comes back as if the worry from before was never there.

"Where are we?", you ask, not thinking too much about it, putting your hand on your head. Now you have a headache too.

"In front of your house", he says and you look outside checking that you can see the wood fence with flowers from the vertical garden you planted under the balcony of your room last year.

"What happened?"

"You fainted in the middle of the party", he answers looking at the street.

"And why are you here?", you try to understand, very confused as to why would he, of all people, do that?

Hyunjin doesn't like you, you don't know why and you usually don't mind because you don't like him either. Something about him brings a bitter taste to your mouth, you're not sure of what.

Maybe it's that air about him, always full of himself, always looking utterly uninterested. Or maybe the fact that he plays with girls left and right makes you uncomfortable.

You even had a crush on him at some point, before you faced reality: you wouldn't be more than one of his conquests, so you stayed aside and your feelings began to subside with time.

"I was going home already and the guys asked me to bring you"

He doesn't look at you and that bothers you more than you are willing to admit. "They didn't come because they were taking care of your boyfriend", he says, clearing his throat, looking awkward.

"Ex"

"What?", his eyes meet yours too quickly making you turn away to avoid his gaze.

"It's ex boyfriend", you answer fidgeting with your fingers.

Of course you didn't break up with him yet but surely no one would hold that against you when he is the one who cheated.

The events of the night suddenly come crashing at you, you feel the tears brimming, so you open the car door getting out the faster you can.

You can't let Hyunjin see you cry, not him or anyone. Not because of that disgusting prick.

"Thanks for the ride, next time I see you coffee's on me", not turning to look at him you walk towards your house.

After getting to the safety of your room you can let your tears run freely. Why would Eric do that? Things were okay between you too, you always tried to be the best girlfriend possible to him, so why?

The pain you feel in your chest makes you feel like you can't breathe, your head is spinning and you just fall to your knees, sitting right there on the floor with not much strength to go to your bed.

You thought he loved you. Is love supposed to feel like this?

You take your phone out of your pocket and see it going off with messages from your friends. You open the group chat:

Chan: Y/N are you alright?

Minho: you shouldn't have come, you were feeling ill all day.

Felix: you were already sick, that asshole just made it worse.

Yeji: do you want us to come over?

Jisung: answer us when you wake up, please.

Ryujin: we already gave him a good beating but just say the word and we can do it again.

Innie: we're worried sick so please don't isolate yourself.

You close your eyes, you have to answer so they won't show up at your house because you know they will if you don't give them a sign that you're alive.

You: hey guys I'm alright, I just really need to sleep my cramps are killing me.

You didn't want to worry them, you knew they would do anything for you and that's enough. You didn't want your friends throwing a pity party because you were cheated on.

You force yourself to move, going to the bathroom and starting the hot water. Slowly you take your clothes off and enter the tub sitting there hugging your legs and thinking about every moment of your relationship, trying to think where it went wrong, did you do something? Did you miss any signs of him being disinterested or anything that could explain his behavior?

You know it's not your fault, of course it isn't. If he thought something was wrong he could have talked with you, if he didn't like you anymore he could break up, why would he break your trust like that?

It all comes back to the same question: why?

After at least 40 minutes you finish showering and get out of the bathroom, drying your hair and wrapping yourself in the fluffiest bathrobe you could find. You make yourself comfortable on the bed and try to get some sleep, at least in your dreams the pain would go away.

•••

You wake up feeling like you were run over by a train and that's because you didn't sleep at all. You woke up half a dozen times and everytime you would feel a moment of peace before your brain remembered what happened, those precious seconds where you felt like everything was okay and then you were miserable again. That's when you started crying again, falling asleep again only when exhaustion took over.

And that same thing repeated itself over and over till it was morning and you just couldn't sleep anymore.

Being sunday you don't have much to distract yourself from your thoughts. You look at the time, it's only seven in the morning.You do all the homework and projects you can think of, even the ones that are due in two months and when you look again it's not even afternoon yet.

You turn on your phone, you had turned it off because even though your friends had asked you not to, all you wanted to do right now was to isolate yourself.

Babe: can we talk?

Babe: I swear I can explain.

You scoff, changing his name. Tears come back to your eyes and the aching pain on your chest becomes stronger.

Jerk: babe, please.

You: fuck off.

Blockcontact

Does he really think he can talk his way out of this situation? You could maybe be tricked if someone had told you about what happened but you saw it with your own eyes, him all over her.

You take a deep breath trying to calm yourself.

You see that some of your friends sent you messages too:

Chaeryeong: heyy? How are you?

Chaeryeong: wanna go shopping? It always lifts your mood.

Chan: if you want to talk, we're here, okay?

There were a lot of similar messages sent by your other friends but you answered them all saying you're okay.

•••

You stare at your reflection in the mirror. Your eyebags are huge and even after putting makeup on it didn't help much. It seems like two nights without sleep are difficult to hide.

So you get dressed and try to look your best, you wouldn't let anyone think you're having a hard time.

You hear the sound of your doorbell, which is weird since it's too early for the mailman to be delivering your correspondence and you're not expecting anyone.

You open the door and find Chan and Felix arguing about something, they stop fighting and look at you when they see you there.

"Good morning", Chan says, giving you a kiss on the cheek.

"Good morning, what are you doing here?"

"We thought it would be nice to have breakfast together and give you a ride after", Felix answers, lifting the box full of doughnuts in his hands.

They were worried, you could see in their eyes even though they were keeping a smile on their face. You should have known that just saying you were alright wouldn't reassure them.

You take a step out of the house, closing the door.

"Let's pick up some coffee then, my treat", you say, walking past them, stopping outside of Chan's car. "The front seat is mine", you say to Felix.

"Fine", he answers pouting.

After getting your well needed coffee, you three eat in the car in the college parking lot. You see Chan and Felix exchanging looks, surely arguing silently about who's going to ask how you're doing.

"Could you guys please stop?", you ask and both look at you like they were caught doing something they are not supposed to.

"What are you talking about?", Felix asks, clearing his throat.

"About the elephant in the room", you smile sadly finishing your coffee. "I'm going to be fine, okay? It's not the end of the world"

It's not your first break up, you know the pain will pass and then you'll remember about it and feel nothing. But for now, knowing that doesn't make it hurt less.

Chan sighs.

"Just tell us if you're having a hard time", he says, "even if you don't want to, talk to us"

You nod, you really do want their support.

"Let's go to class, okay? Our marketing project won't finish itself"

They smile painfully, we hate this class.

•••

It's awkward to be looking for Hyunjin. You got him an Iced Americano to pay up for the ride like you promised.

He's in the art studio looking really focused while painting something, so you don't know if it's okay to interrupt him.

When you enter the room, the door closes after you with a huge noise making him look in your direction.

He stands up too quickly, splashing the paint he has on his hand directly on his upper body, thankfully he's wearing an apron so it doesn't stain his clothes.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to surprise you", you say, getting closer.

He gives you a kind smile you didn't expect, "It's okay"

"I just wanted to give you this", you shake the cup in your hand offering it to him, he frowns while taking the drink. "That night I told you coffee would be on me next time, so here it is", you remember him.

"Thanks, you didn't have to", he sips the drink anyway.

"I did", you clear your throat, why are you so nervous? Maybe it's stressful to be nice to him. "You were kind enough to take me home and wait till I woke up, this is the least I can do"

He gives you a smile, sitting on the table next to the easel he was painting on. He keeps staring at you without saying a thing and that does nothing to ease your nerves making you squeeze the straps of your bag.

I should get going, you're ready to say.

"I hope we can be more than just acquaintances", he says finishing his drink.

You almost choke on the air you just inhaled.

"How so?"

He smiles, that pretentious smile you hate so much.

"We have a lot of friends in common, I think it's time to end this animosity between us.

"Should I remind you that you were the one that didn't like me first?", you point it out. It's really funny for him to say those things when he's the one that started this whole thing.

"I never disliked you, you were the one that scoffed at me and rolled your eyes everytime I said anything"

You're offended now, does he want to pretend he's innocent?

"Excuse me? When I had just started hanging out with the guys you were the one that always kept staring at me so intensely I was sure you wanted to kill me", you cross your arms, "I'm really good at taking a cue, I knew you didn't want me there so I just did you a favor and avoided you"

He smiles amused, making you even madder.

"I suppose you're not as good as you think then", he answers.

You roll your eyes, you're not giving him the pleasure of asking to elaborate.

"Anyway, I have class", you turn going to the door.

"What about my request?", he asks before you can reach the handle.

"I'll think about it", you say halfheartedly, you probably won't.

•••

The week went by without much bigger events, you cried in the college bathroom sometimes, then called one of your friends and you went to eat something. You are really grateful that everyone made time for you, they never left you alone so you were always laughing and having fun even though your heart still aches.

On saturday night there was a party in one of the campus frat houses, your friends made sure to invite you and convince you to go.

You were not in the best mood, but you wanted to be strong to show everyone and yourself that Eric didn't affect you.

Waiting for all your friends to get ready was no easy feat, so when you arrived at the party two hours after it started, the house was already crowded.

There were people throwing up, hooking up, jumping in the pool and you could swear you saw someone running... without clothes.

"Want to play truth or dare?", Yeji askes sliding her arm around your shoulder.

You really don't, but you don't want to be a bore.

"Sure", you say, following her to the second floor where you find at least 20 people, including Eric.

Yeji's eyes grow wide.

"Hey, who invited him?", she angrily asks a girl and she shrugs too drunk to even speak a complete sentence.

"I told them to not invite him, I'm sorry", she says anxiously, "we don't have to play, we can go downstairs and dance?"

You wanted to get away from there, you really didn't want to face him. But at the same time you didn't want to run away, he did wrong so he should be the one leaving.

"It's ok, let's play", you say walking towards the circle of people and sitting where there was space for two.

That week you found out that someone filmed Ryujin and Changbin beating the shit out of Eric after you left the party and that made you feel pretty satisfied, knowing someone got your back.

You felt Eric's eyes on you, you knew he wouldn't try anything with your friends close. But he sure could make you uncomfortable by staring.

The game begins, they explain the rules and where it's okay to go with the dares. The bottle is spinning.

You always thought truth or dare is just an excuse for people to make out with someone they want without being rejected.

The guys that weren't playing and are just lurking are serving drinks, so you take a shot of tequila hoping the alcohol will help you relax.

The bottle stops, pointing at you.

"Truth or dare?", they ask you.

"Dare, I guess?", it's obvious that if you answer "truth" they're going to ask why you and Eric broke up and you're not feeling in the mood to tell everyone what happened. They sigh disappointed, people are going to find out eventually but you're not ready to be the one to spread the news.

One of them smiles mischievously and whispers something to the person who's going to give you the dare.

"Seven minutes in heaven with Hwang Hyunjin", they say.

Well, that's better than having to answer a painful truth. You're used to Hyunjin, he's always with your friends so it won't be difficult.You really didn't think much about his request so you're hoping he won't bring it up now.

You two walk into the closet hearing people continuing the game after you close the door.

"How are you?", he asks after some time.

You can't see his face and wonder if he has that same worried expression he had in his car after the whole thing with Eric.

"I'm good", you say. You felt much better in that enclosed place than out there with so many eyes watching. You hear Hyunjin rustling, he's moving closer. He puts his hand on your arm and you flinch.

"Sorry, it's just weird talking without knowing where you are"

You nod even though he can't see you, "it's okay"

It's even more weird for them to talk for more than a minute without starting a fight. Suddenly you have a very bad idea.

"Can you do me a favor?", you're not sure if it's the alcohol kicking in or just you being dumb, maybe both.

"What's it?"

"Can you kiss me?", you say embarrassed, regretting it the moment it leaves your mouth, "you don't have to, it's just... I want to hurt him", you explain.

Hyunjin doesn't say a thing so you're sure he's just going to ignore your request. Then, you feel his fingers sliding up your arms and arriving at your neck soon after he cups your face caressing your cheeks.

You can feel his breathing so close it's inebriating.

"Can I?", he asks for permission even though you were the one who asked him to do it. He probably is giving you a chance to take it back, but you don't want to.

You won't admit it but in that moment you didn't care about your ex, all you cared about was how every place Hyunjin touched was burning and how his warm breath mixed with yours.

You nod again, humming with your eyes already closed. When his lips touch yours it's an explosion of sensations: his lips, his touch, his scent, everything about him is warm. You have to wrap your arms around his neck for some support, because your legs are giving out and his hair feels so good through your fingers you could die. You were feeling that ache sensation in your lower stomach and you knew you had to stop, you couldn't feel that way about him.

The door opens suddenly and you're forced to let go of each other, everyone is watching and they are shocked to say the least, of course, everyone knew about your ongoing feud so they sent you two there to see how long you could last until one of you killed the other.

You finally remember why you asked Hyunjin to kiss you when you see Eric's face, he's angry and hurt. And that's what you were going for but why do you feel so bad? When you look back to Hyunjin he's avoiding your gaze, his lips full of your red lipstick.

Should you talk to him? Should you thank him for the help? Should you tell him that was the best kiss you ever had? You can't say a thing because you're too shocked to even think straight, so you just sit again ignoring Yeji's wide eyes.

You stay there for another 30 minutes before saying goodbye to everyone and leaving the room. Hyunjin is not there anymore, you didn't see when he left, too immersed in your own thoughts to pay attention to anything else.

After leaving Yeji there playing, you go downstairs. Maybe a drink will help you feel better.

Eric didn't try talking to you with your friend there but you don't know if he's going to try when you're alone so it's best to find someone you know.

You get to the first floor, going to the drink's table, you are sure one of your friends is going to be there and you do find Felix talking to a girl you're almost sure is a freshman. You don't want to interrupt his flirting so you just lurk around him tasting some mix of drinks.

You see Chaeryeong across the room, you wave seeing her smiling to you. You down the drink you have in your hands and grab a bottle of water hoping your hangover is not going to be that bad. You go in Chaeryeong direction when you see Hyunjin next to her, he's kissing someone and you can't help stopping in your tracks.

What did you expect? That he would fall for you after a kiss? Of course not and you didn't want that too. You're not sure why you feel so shocked, you just didn't think he would be all over another person right after kissing you. But that's exactly why you don't like him, right? Because he's a player.

He was just doing you a favor, you should thank him at the right moment and that's the end of where your relationship goes.

[mono-moonchilds]

NOT THE ONLY ONE | JJK

⤑ pairing: jungkook x fem!reader

⤑ genre: smut and angst

⤑ rating: explicit (18+)

⤑ word count: 3.3K

⤑ summary: whoever said that the truth would set you free was a liar. the truth was cold and it hurt. and sometimes it still left you stuck in the same cycle.

⤑ warnings: college fic, jk is an asshole, manipulative behavior, infidelity, gaslighting, sad!reader, unprotected sex, creampie, oc wants to be loved, toxic relationship

⤑ part one

The morning after was always the worst.

A harsh feeling of shame washing over every step you took as you made your way through the campus. Realistically no one knew. There was no way they could. It wasn’t like Jungkook was going to tell anyone and you definitely weren’t either. But despite knowing that it still didn’t help. It felt like everyone was staring at you- quietly judging you for the decisions you made.

Could you blame them though?

You knew exactly how everything was going to end the moment you saw Jungkook at your door. The worst part was that you’d do it again. Despite the shame and the sadness, you’d do it all over again just for those few fleeting moments of happiness.

It was pathetic.

Always craving more of Jungkook even after he showed you his true colors time after time. Always trying to convince yourself of the maybes. That maybe he would be true this time, maybe he’d stay, maybe he would simply see that you were worth it. That you were worth his time, his energy, his commitment.

It was something about never being the first choice that really fucked with someone’s well-being. Fucked with the way you carried yourself- the way you looked at yourself.  Sometimes when you looked at old photos you couldn’t even recognize the person you saw. The bright smile you once sported was so foreign and far to you now. 

“Y/n!” You turned to see Hoseok jogging your way. The sweet smile he always sported etched across his face just like usual. “I’ve been calling your name for a while now.”

“Ah- sorry. Didn’t even hear you.”

“I’m about to go meet Yoongi for lunch you wanna come?”

“I got a class that starts in like fifteen minutes,”

“Gross,” Hoseok gagged in disgust. “Come on just ditch this once. I got shit to tell you about last night.”

“I can’t. It’s one of Professor Williams’ classes. You know how she is.”

Right on cue, just like it always did when Hoseok heard that name, the smile on his face dropped only to be quickly replaced with genuine annoyance and anger. “Fucking hate that bitch,” He grumbled with a scowl.

You couldn’t help but laugh. “For some reason, something tells me the feeling is most likely mutual.”

Hoseok rolled his eyes. “I got weed,” He reached into his pocket pulling out a baggy. “Top tier gossip and weed. You’re crazy if you turn this down.”

“As tempted as I am, I still gotta say no. Top tier gossip and weed or my literal grade in a class that I pay to attend.” You held up your hands as if you were physically weighing both options. “I think we both know the obvious choice here.”

Hoseok booed, quite literally booed, throwing down both thumbs in the process. “Fine. Even though we both know you could tell that woman you murdered someone and she would still let you make up anything you missed. What’s the point of being the teacher's pet if you don’t use it for your advantage?”

“Save me some and tell me everything when I get home later?”

“I don’t know,” Hoseok shrugged. “I may not be in a talky mood later.”

It was silent for only a moment before the two of you both burst into laughter. Hoseok not being in the mood to talk? That was like a fish suddenly deciding it could live without water. It was never going to happen.

As you watched Hoseok leave, the tiny slither of okay-ness that you’d briefly felt left with him. Maybe you should just ditch class this once. Realistically what harm could it do? You were already ahead in your work and like Hoseok said Professor Williams wasn’t going to do anything to you if you missed a class. God knows you could use the distraction. The second Hoseok left; your brain immediately went back to Jungkook. 

What was he doing? What was he thinking? Did he feel bad for leaving you like that? Did he feel bad for the way he treated you?

You already knew the answer to these questions, but you still couldn’t help but think of the maybes. Those damn maybes and the endless possibilities they could hold were going to be your downfall.

“H-,” You were about to call out to Hoseok telling him to wait up when something stopped you in your tracks.

More accurately- someone stopped you in your tracks.

If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve sworn that you were having a heart attack. The pain in your chest is almost enough to knock you to your knees. You blink once, twice, and then a third trying to convince yourself that you were going crazy. That you’d finally lost it and were just seeing things.

But no matter how much you blinked or rubbed, the sight just wouldn’t go away. It was real. The girl clinging to Jungkook’s arm was very real. You wanted to believe that it was something new- that she was just another fling like you but there was something that was off. The way the two of them held each other had a sense of familiarity. The way their hands and eyes lingered. This wasn’t a fling and it definitely wasn’t anything new.

It was cultivated.

It was seasoned.

It was everything you wanted.

“I love you,” The girl leaned up pressing a long kiss to Jungkook’s lips. Even the way he smiled- it was something that you’d never seen before. The small smile on his face as he stared down at her with nothing but adoration in his eyes.

“Love you too baby.”

Your heart shattered.

When the two turn to go their separate ways Jungkook notices you. His mouth fell open a little as he looked between you and his girlfriend. She was none the wiser. A happy little bounce in her step as she entered the nearest building. Jungkook said nothing and neither did you. In fact, you did the exact opposite. You turned and ran, hightailing it out of there as fast as you could. There was this hope that Jungkook would yell after you, that he would chase you down and say something.

He never did.

Her name was Imani.

She was an education major. She had an older sister, a German Sheppard, and two loving parents. She liked taking pictures of sunsets. Always posted her adventures with her friends. Had more community service under her belt than a delinquent teen that was being forced by the state. She’d been on two study-abroad trips. One in Japan and the other in Brazil. And as recently as last semester she’d transferred into the University after leaving one that’d been closer home.

She was kind of difficult to find. And for a moment you thought maybe you were seeing things. From Jungkook’s Instagram page, you would’ve never even assumed he had a girlfriend. Most of his pictures consumed him at the gym or of random food he’d eaten. There were no pictures of her or them together and Jungkook had his tags hidden. It wasn’t until you went through the comments of ten different pictures that you found her.

l0V3lY.M4N1: my baby is so handsome 😍

Jungk00k: 💖💖💖

Her page told a different story.

Jungkook was everywhere. He was in a post as recent as a week ago and one as old as five years ago.

Imani and Jungkook had been together since their junior year of high school.

They’d attended prom together, went to each other’s family functions, hell- they spent holidays together.

If you weren’t so close to the verge of tears you’d laugh. The whole thing is hilarious in a sick way. This entire time you’d been hoping- praying that Jungkook would see you as a person when in reality he already had his person. He’d had her for half a decade. She was pretty and vibrant. Kind of reminded you of those girls you’d see on Pinterest. Perfect makeup, perfect hair, cute clothes.

You were a mess. The fading pink curls on your head matted together. The sweat jacket and pants you had on hung sloppily against your body.

With a loud noise, Jungkook's name pops across your screen. You immediately send him to voicemail. He doesn’t give up though. No matter how many times you decline the call Jungkook keeps calling again and again and again.  You could’ve easily blocked him but something about the persistence he was finally making made your heart flutter in a sad way. A sick smile creeping onto your mouth each time his name popped back up. After the tenth time, you couldn’t help but swipe your thumb across.

“Open the damn door.” Click. There was a heavy knock. Your hand was already on the doorknob before you could even let out the next breath.

When the opened the door, it was like muscle memory. A loud smack echoed through the hall. 

“Damn,” A distant voice in the hall echoed out.

Jungkook’s head slowly turned back to face you. His eyes were low with anger. “That make you feel better?” He huffed out.

“No. Go the fuck home Jungkook.”

Of course, he didn’t listen. Just like the night before he pushed his way into the apartment shutting the door behind him.

“List-”

“You’re a real piece of shit you know that right?” You cut him off. “Just when I think you couldn’t get any worse you prove me wrong. You have a girlfriend!”

“It doesn’t mean anything,”

You blinked in disbelief. Did he really just say that? You couldn’t help but laugh. Jungkook stared at you like you’d grown two heads. His face twisted between a mix of discomfort and confusion.

“You’ve been together for five years.”

 “How do you even know that?”

You held up your phone flicking on the screen. “It’s all right here,”

“What the fuck,” Jungkook attempted to reach for the phone, but you were too quick. Stepping back, you smoothly moved it away. “Are you fucking crazy!” You jumped at the sound of Jungkook’s booming voice.

There was nothing but pure disgust on his face and even though it should’ve truly been the opposite way around you couldn’t help but feel shame.

“What is wrong with you?”

You couldn’t even answer. The phone you were holding so proudly in the air just a second ago now feeling as heavy as a bag of sand.

“I don’t even know why I came here,” Jungkook sighed letting out a deep breath. “I’m leaving.”

Let him leave.

Please just let him leave.

Your brain quietly begged you.

His hand was on the knob. Jungkook was almost gone. Just let him leave.

“Jungkook please,” You quietly called out. “Please don’t leave. I’m…. I’m- I’m sorry.”

For once when you looked at Jungkook he genuinely seemed to be in shock. Like even he was in disbelief of what he’d just heard. You couldn’t even believe it yourself. Out of all the things you should’ve said, had you really just apologized?

“Please-” He closed his eyes. “Don’t apologize…. why are you fucking apologizing? Shit-” Jungkook whispered running his hands over his face. “I…I can’t,”

“Jungkook please,”

“What do you want from me!” The dark hair boy whipped around. “Fuck…baby,” Jungkook swore again. “I didn’t mean to yell. Please don’t cry.”

You whispered a small okay, but the tears didn’t stop. Even as Jungkook moved forward his soft hands cupping your face as he gently tried to wipe the tears away, they didn’t stop. Just like last night when Jungkook touched you- you couldn’t help but lean further into him. Your body curled into him as he hesitantly wrapped his arms around you.

“What are you doing to me?” Jungkook mumbled. It was so quiet you weren’t even sure you were meant to hear it.

For the first time since the very first time, Jungkook was soft. His lips gently caressed yours as he guided you through the narrow hall and to your bedroom.  As Jungkook laid you down you couldn’t help but cling to him. Your arms and legs wrapped tightly around his body as if you let go he would just disappear. You knew he was going to leave at some point- he always did- but for right now you wanted him as close as possible. 

Imani be damned. Jungkook was yours and you were his.

At least for this moment.

“Take this off,” He tugged at your jacket. Without a second thought, you leaned forward sliding the jacket over your head before letting it fall to the floor. “My pretty girl,” Jungkook whispered sliding your bra off next. A low whine escaped you as Jungkook’s fingers ghosted across your skin.

“What do you want?”

“Anything,”

A light chuckle left Jungkook’s nose. In all honesty, it made you feel gross. The way the knowing smirk registered on his face as he thought about your words. Even though you hadn’t technically said it Jungkook knew what you meant. He knew exactly what he was doing and that alone should’ve made you push him off you.

But you didn’t. Instead, you begged.

He just shushed you. “You don’t want me to rush right?”  You quickly shook your head. “I know you don’t want me to.”

With that, Jungkook went back to what he was doing. Tracing his fingers along while you lay there taking whatever he gave you. Piece by piece, Jungkook took his time removing the remainder of your clothes.

“I haven’t even done anything and you're so fucking wet,” Jungkook reached down spreading your lips apart. “You’d take anything I gave you. Do anything I say. Wouldn’t you?” You gave a shameful nod. Jungkook just smiled smugly to himself.

You let out a breath of relief as Jungkook finally leaned down pressing long kisses against your body. The dark-haired boy not stopping until he was right in front of the place you needed him most.

The loud blaring of Jungkook’s phone ringing pulled the two of you from the moment. You couldn’t see who was calling but for some reason, you already knew.

“Hi baby,” Jungkook said sweetly into the phone confirming your suspicion. The lust-filled fog you’d briefly felt immediately lifted and now all that was left was disgust. What the hell were you doing?

“No no-” He laughed. “Well, I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. I’m sorry I couldn’t come with you. Yeah no-” Jungkook let out a deep breath. “I’m still not feeling to well.” A soft whimper escaped your lips as Jungkook took his thumb resting it on your clit as he rubbed against the small button in circular motions.

Pouting his lips out, Jungkook silently shushed you. “No babe don’t worry about it. I’m sure I’ll be fine tomorrow. M’just gonna lay down and go to sleep.” He pushed a finger in making you gasp.

“Yeah, I know.” Jungkook hummed. “I love you too,”

If Jungkook hadn’t hung up the phone so quickly the sound of you bursting into tears would’ve definitely exposed the five different lies he’d just told. Never once in all your years had you experienced two totally different emotions at once. 

“Y/n- baby,” Jungkook cooed softly as he leaned down pressing a kiss to your forehead.

You sucked in a shaky breath, arms wrapping around your body. “What the fuck-” You heaved. It felt like you were about to throw up. “Oh my god… what am I do- you-you have a girlfriend.”

“But I’m here with you. Just let me do this.” Jungkook begged. He sounded so sincere. You could feel yourself falling back under. “Just one last time. You- you drive me crazy.”

It was so sad how that was all it took for Jungkook to have you back under his spell. A faint smile filled his lips as he pushed back so he could stand up and pull down his pants. The tip of his cock was dark red and leaking with anticipation.

You began to roll over onto your stomach but a hand resting on your hip stopped you. “I wanna see you,” Your heart swelled.

Despite the position change, Jungkook was still as rough as he usually was. His fingers dug harshly into your throat as he fucked you. As much as you didn’t want to think about it you couldn’t stop yourself from wondering if this was how he treated Imani. The very nature in how he spoke to her was so different that you couldn’t imagine it to be true. Jungkook was probably so gentle with her, he took his time making her feel special with every touch while with you Jungkook just fucked you like some whore.

And that’s all you were. At least to him.

That still didn’t stop you from grasping at his arm as you asked for more.

“Keep your eyes on me,” Jungkook demanded. “Wanna see you. Need shit-” He let out a deep groan. “Need to see you.”

You nodded your head in compliance but with the way Jungkook pushed into you, it was too hard to keep your word. “ah- Kook…please- fuck,” The way he looked on top of you was so gorgeous. His hair hung in his face as his eyebrows twisted in determination.

“I know baby,” Jungkook gasped as he twisted your left nipple between the balls of his fingers. “You’re so good- doing so fucking good.” You let out a loud whine. “What is it, baby?”

“Muh-more. Please- more,”

“Words baby,”

You weren’t even sure what you meant. Whether you meant it literally, figuratively, or both. Probably both. All you wanted was Jungkook.

Instead of saying anything else you just pulled him closer until his body was lying flat against yours. When Jungkook pulled away you almost felt yourself about to cry, rejection flooding your body, but within seconds he hushed you pulling your legs onto his shoulders before he leaned down pressing himself against you again.

“No marks,” He muttered sternly. You hadn’t even realized you’d begun. Jungkook didn’t follow his own direction though. His lips sucking eagerly on your neck as he continued to fuck you open.

You couldn’t help the tears rolling down your face. You just wanted this all the time. Wanted Jungkook all the time.

“Please, please”

“My pretty baby gonna cum?” You bounced your head eagerly. “Me too- mmm… you feel so fucking good.” You gasped loudly clenching tightly around him. “That’s right baby- give it to me.”

You’re sure the neighbor can hear you as you scream out in pleasure from the band in your stomach snapping. Eyes rolling to the back of your head as nothing but the sound of static and color white filled your brain.

Jungkook came with a loud groan. His body stuttering against yours as his warm cum painted your walls creamy white. Even as Jungkook fell to the side rolling onto his back you didn’t let him go. Your arms wrapped around his stomach as if he would disappear if you let him go for just a second.

Because he would. Undoubtedly Jungkook was going to leave you and there was nothing you could do about it.

He was going to walk out of here and go back to Imani as if nothing between the two of you had ever existed. Just the thought of him running his hands along her deep brown skin is enough to make you want to puke.

And as much as you wanted to hate her you couldn’t. You were the one in the wrong. Maybe you didn’t know about her at first but now you did, and you’d still slept with Jungkook.

“Don’t cry. Please don’t cry.”

“I hate you. I hate you so much.” You sobbed.

“I know,” Jungkook took a long pause. “I hate me too.”

When you woke up the next morning just like you expected your room was empty. The only trace of Jungkook even being here is the scattered marks along your jaw. 

When you picked up your phone it’s still where you left it last night.

On Imani’s Instagram page.

You don’t know why you did what you did next.

You click the little blue button in the top left corner.

⤑ A/N: I'm sorry guys I know a lot of you who liked the first story wanted a part two where jk was redeemed but tbh I just could not think of a storyline for that. even when this one-shot was originally jikook I had always imagined that if there was a pt 2 in the next fic jk would turn out to have had a significant other the whole time. also, I like angst sue me :p

[allied-mastercunt]

Yandere AM is cruel. But what kinds of yanderes would the main 5 be? Who would be safer to be with? (Plot twist it's neither of them/hj)

i love how since you don't know me well, you assume that the very mild version of yandere AM i showed so far is cruel to you.

The Five as yanderes

Ellen (book leaning)

The emotional type.

Ellen is the only one who kept some of her humanity. She still cares about the others. And she cares about you so, so much... All because you've shown her kindness the others don't show her anymore.

No, to the others, she's scum. She's aware of that. She knows they only really bother to take care of her because she let them all use her body. She's accepted that it was her only real value for the rest of the group. Well, maybe except for Benny, Benny was nice to her most of the time.

But you? You felt bad for how the others treated her. You offered her a shoulder to cry on. You offered to hold her, let everything out. And she missed being loved. She missed being cared for and held.

She becomes addicted to it. To you. She wants all of your attention, all of your affection, all of your love.

She'll scream. She'll cry. She'll beg.

She loves you. She needs you.

And she'll do anything in her power to make sure she gets you.

Gorrister (game and book mixed)

The wifebeater violent type.

There's very little left of what Gorrister used to be. A once passionate man who then lost himself, first to how his life turned out and then to that damn computer. He was now heartless, both literally and figuratively.

And yet, it would seem a certain kind of passion was... re-awakened in Gorrister. All because of your sweet self.

You tried so hard to reach inside him again. To try and find the man he once was. You could say you succeded, in a way. A very hurtful way, sadly.

Gorrister was now an angry man with an unhealthy attachment to you. He wanted you all to himself, no matter what he'd have to do to keep the small spark of light in his life.

And if beating you was the only way to get you to work with him? That's what he's gonna do, darling.

Ted (book and game mixed)

The manipulative type.

Ted is an expert at lying and manipulating people for his advantage. Especially now. He's a charmer, really! And you're just so easy for him, so nice, so sweet... He loves it.

He manages to wrap you around his little finger. He'll convince you that he's your knight in shining armor, that he's your only real friend, that you can depend on him, that he'll protect you...

He's your only friend around there, really! The only person you can really trust!

He's possessive and has a tendency to objectify his partners. Especially women. His mind was a truly dark place now, seeing as he barely respected anyone at this rate. You have to listen through his rants about how all the others are affected by AM and how he's the only sane one. He'll insult everyone, you included.

And then he'll gaslight you into thinking he's right and that you're slowly losing your mind because of AM. He's your only true beacon of hope, your only link to sanity.

And you'll do everything for him, won't you?

Benny

The worshiping type.

Poor Benny doesn't really understand love anymore, due to all the damage AM caused to his brain. But he understands all the kindness you've shown him. He knows you were the one who comforted him through all the pain caused by that damn machine.

Especially since you'd try to chase after him and help save him from more pain. You did your best for him, and he took your kindness when he could, his brain warping it into a worship-like obsession.

It starts off innocent. If he managed to find something "nice", he'd bring it to you. He would follow you, seek you out, do anything for your attention to be on him exclusively, even if he had to pull you away from the others and hold you down to cuddle him.

And he's very physically strong. He's not letting go, you're the most important person in his life, after all. The others need to learn that, too. Or he'll use those teeth AM gave him to rip their guts out.

But hey, their hearts would be a great offering for you.

To show just how great his love to you is.

Nimdok

The twó-faced type.

He's an old man who barely remembers anything about his past. You naturally want to help him, don't you? Of course you do, you're such a kind person...

But the truth is, even without his memory, you can never take the cruelty out of a monster. And he worked with doctor Mengele himself, he may not be as bad as the Angel of Death himself, but he's definitely no saint.

For you, though, he's just a poor old man that AM torments alongside the others. But the others...?

Well, he might not remember what he did, but he sure remembers how to be a scary motherfucker and how to form his incredibly detailed, whispered threats to make them all leave you alone. And of course, he will make those threats come true if needed.

You have no clue, of course. You think he's a sweet old man, the only one who's actually nice to you, unlike the others who push you away.

And the others... they get to see his true colors.

[grapejuicebrat]

my worst

PAIRING: bbf!rafe cameron x reader

SUMMARY: the more you try to fix him, the more you make it worse.

WORD COUNT: 1380

NOTES: based on this.

my masterlist

maybe it was a bad idea. maybe he was a bad idea.

maybe fucking your brother’s best friend wasn’t such a good idea. maybe falling in love with him wasn’t a good idea either. letting rafe ruin your life wasn’t a good idea but at the end of the day you loved him and trusted him. rafe was everything to you.

he was your protector and your lover. someone who could hide you from the rest of the world, who would hug you and tell you that everything will be okay and you would believe him without a doubt. because you were sure - rafe loved you. and you loved rafe.

actually it was something you wanted to believe in. that your secret relationship were not so fucked up from the very beginning. you closed your eyes when rafe was stalking you and gaslighting. didn’t hear anything when rafe told you to stop talking to your friends. didn’t say anything when you saw rafe snorting a line. because he’s a man, he is smarter than you. you don’t get to decide anything for him.

and now, three years later you were ready to write a letter to rafe. of course you could call him or text him but it wasn’t the same. you wanted to imagine how rafe would sit in his royal bedroom looking at this letter, rereading every word. remembering how you said every damn thing years ago. how you begged him to quit doing drugs. how you begged him to be a family with you. and he just shrugged, not believing that it was something he wanted to have.

and now rafe would give everything so he could just have you in his arms again.

“hey, rafe.

how are you doing? i want to believe that everything is okay. i asked topper a few times about you but he refuses even saying your name. and honestly i don’t judge him. i don’t have a right to judge me, you know? actually i was surprised that he didn’t stop talking to me after he found about our thing. but that’s not the point why i am writing this letter. don’t worry.

i had a lot of time to think. and you know what? finally i have some brave to tell you those things and finally let you go. i don’t know if you have someone beside you, and i tried my best not to reach out for you and don’t ask somebody about your love life. you know, just want to respect you and your private life because now i have no right to ask you about this since we are nobody to each other.

(and no, i can’t say that we are still friends. because we are not)

i wasn't crazy falling hard for you.

i’m used to liars, used to men using me, but you know what I'm not used to? you. you’re a different whole kind of pain. you're the type of pain that rips my vocal chords that I can't even scream. you're the type to dry my tears that 1 can't even cry.you’re the type that when I feel the slightest content, your memory stabs me in the heart. so yah, I'll take the liars, the manipulators, those men who objectify me over you because you... you made me love you with every intention of destroying the foundation i walk on just to watch me fall and stumble trying to come out of this alive.

I wish I could fix everything people broke in you. I wish I could erase every person who came into your life and left holes in your heart. I wish there was a way for me to rewind your past and erase every painful memory that made your life a little darker. I wish I had the power to go inside your heart and bring it back to what it used to be.I wish there was a way to go inside your heart and make it brave again. I wish I could just cleanse your heart and rid it of all the mess, all the chaos and all the heartbreaks. I wish I could show you the kind of love you've been missing but Rafe I've learned that love doesn't work that way and healing doesn't happen unless you feel it deep inside your soul.I learned that another human being can't tell you how you should feel or who you should love or what kind of heart you should have.

Love is the only force you can't fight even if you know you're going to lose and I wish I had the power to fight with you but darling that's one battle you're going to have to fight on your own. Because I'm also still healing. I'm still working on myself.

I'm still trying to bring my old heart back. And I'm still trying to find a way to fix everything people broke in me. I'm still trying to heal the wounds inside my heart. I'm still trying to be brave again. To trust again. To love again.And sometimes I wish there was a way for me to stay without losing myself. Sometimes I wish my journey was simple and linear so I can easily turn a blind eye to reality. To the facts that I know too well. To the struggles that I'm still trying to get through.But here I am, still trying to mend the broken pieces. Still trying to make sense of my journey and still very cautious because I'm not ready to break my own heart again.Because darling I've learned that just like can't force you to change your heart or the way you love, I can't force mine to change either. I've learned that if I can't help you heal, I have to let you go. I've learned that I need to heal myself first.

In 20 years, when my daughter asks me who my first love was, I'll think of you.

I will think of nights spent talking until the sun came up. I will think of the way your smile lit up my heart. I will think of the lessons you taught me, both before and after your broke my heart.

And I will look down at my daughter and tell her your name, I'll tell her how much I loved you, how dangerous it is to love somebody that much, how I had to learn to put myself back together again once you left.

I could tell her this funny story when I fell in love with my stalker. And how you stole my panties all the time. You thought I didn’t notice? Silly you. I just didn’t want this to end. I guess I always liked you. And I was attracted to you. I confess I’ve already been a little bit fucked up. That’s why everything was good at first.

Someday we will forget all about this. I will forget how you looked at me and I will stop dreaming about you every single night, wishing for you to come back. You will forget the way I laughed at every little thing you said and how I was different; happier, with you. We will be too far away from each other and we will have forgotten everything.

Someday, what we had wouldn't matter anymore, and I will never cry for you again.

But for now, I hope i’ll meet in any other life where we would be happy. And we’ll have a family of our own home. Like we’ve dreamed. But I don’t know, maybe it was just my dream and you didn’t want all of this. Sorry, if I said anything harmful.

We were never meant for each other. But I'm glad that even for a sheer moment It felt like we were.

But you made a mistake in your letter. Maybe you were meant to be. You and Rafe met in a wrong time. Right place.

i think i’ll rewrite it but anyways i hope you liked it! share your thoughts and add share your asks to my inbox i’ll gladly answer to them!

if you would like to be added to my taglist leave a comment or let me know by sending me in my ask!

oh and let me know if you want me to write more about their relationship before the break up!

taglist: @ivy-34

[aita-blorbos]

Am I a bad person for saying mean things about my friends?

[cw for gaslighting and manipulation]

I just feel really really super-bad about this, but everyone says it wasn't my fault and I don't need to apologize but it's messing me up and I dunno what to think about it anymore…

I (14F) was having a really bad day the other day. Y'know, the kind where you make the dumbest mistakes and the things people say get at you a lot more than they normally do? And on my way home I found this cute-looking doll and it said it wanted to be my new friend to help cheer me up (which I'm always in favor of, I love making new friends!!), and said that if I be its friend, it would help me be luckier, and that nobody would make fun of me again, just as long as I always kept her with me. It sounded good to me, so I agreed and took it home with me!

And, things were going great! Like the doll said, I was so much luckier, and my magic was getting so much stronger from it! S(14M) and L(14F) were totally wowed, too! But um, then I think I got a little fat-headed and started gloating at R(14F) and K(14M) and kept beating them in magic duels.

Later the doll kept saying that they would all definitely think better of me now, and that it was because we had gotten to be such good friends and. She was kinda loud about it an that was scary, but she was really making me feel good and better and lucky and… even though she was saying that my other friends were horrible and that I was wonderful and that she was my only real friend. It seemed so nice.

And then and then the next day, K and R and S and L were all asking about how much better with magic I had gotten and what had changed. And I wasn't sure what to do or say. So the doll told me that I should tell all of them to shut up, and that I didn't want to pretend at being friends anymore if they were gonna keep picking on me, and all these other horrible things. And I wanted to trust my friend, so I did what she said.

And to make it worse, I accidentally dropped the doll and all I could think of was "I need to keep her with me! She's the only one that understands me! She said so herself" and I pushed poor L away! And when R tried taking her away I just panicked and ran off.

I don't remember much of what happened for the next while. My head was hurting, but the Doll said I'd done well, so I just kept going, and she kept telling me she was my friend. And I just. Kept believing her, because it was getting hard to believe anything else, with my head being as fuzzy as it was…

Then S and L and K and R caught up with me and started trying to take my friend the Doll away again and calling her a liar and I was so scared for her, and for losing her, when she had been so helpful to me. I just couldn't think, so I kept casting spells at them and telling them all to go away and leave us alone.

But then, R and K started saying that they'd miss me if I was gone, because we really were friends and that they liked having me and my usual positivity around. L and S were saying everyone was worried about me, and wanted me to be friends with them again. I was so shaken, I ended up losing the duel I started.

And then it all came rushing back to me. All those awful things I said and did to the people who had been so nice and supportive of me, even if they're not always the best at showing it (K and R are especially really stubborn like that, but I know they meant it). And I just. I just still feel so AWFUL about it!!! There's no way that S and L and K and R would just forgive me, just like that, for being so mean, right?? I must be the bad person here, right???

EDIT: Someone asked what happened to the doll. My homeroom teacher showed up right after that and said something like, the doll puppets people with their hearts and take their powers? I dunno what that has to do with anything, though. Anyway, she took it somewhere else, but I didn't really listen much when she said where she was taking it. Honestly, that just goes to show, I really need to be better about listening too!!

EDIT 2: And now people keep asking why I didn't think it was weird the doll was talking. But why would it be weird? I thought it was kinda like the talking cat plushie my homeroom teacher carries with her, or the old teddy bear that runs the museum.

[kidrauhlschik]

4. Tangled Memories - Lee Know AU

Post Traumatic Amnesia (PTA) is a transient state of confusion, disorientation and memory loss that occurs immediately following a traumatic brain injury. PTA is sometimes also referred to as post traumatic confusional state and can occur from the moment of injury until the return of continuous memory.

The accident was a tragedy.

But it was the best tragedy to ever happen to you.

-

-

Final Part - See pt 1, 2, & 3 on the Masterlist linked above

Warnings: angst, f!reader, enemies to lovers, drunk driving, gaslighting, Fighting, yelling, cursing, angst, heartbreak, lies, angst, accidents, not proofread, minho is mean, lmk if I missed anything!!

Words: 2.2k

-

You find the note the next morning and immediately crumple it up and throw it in the trash. Since when has Minho been so sentimental and needy?

You can understand that he's over whatever rivalry he two of you used to have, but you're not. Up until the day before, you thought Minho was good, perfect even, but opening your eyes and remembering all of the awful things he's made you deal with made things so much different.

For starters, you can't believe that you trusted him. He's just as manipulative and sneaky as he's always been. He took advantage of your vulnerable state and made you depend on him. He would have been okay with you dying that day and all of the sudden he's not.

Yet, he also coaxed you down from your panic attacks, he made sure to always available for when you needed him, he stayed with you around the clock when you were injured. Thing is, you wouldn't have gotten injured if it wasn't for him.

The back and forth is overwhelming so instead of pondering on the fact you go to check your phone, which probably made things even worse.

Chris: He told me. Im so sorry. Its all my fault.

Innie: Wanna talk? I heard what happened.

Seungmin: I can't believe you didn't tell us you were remembering stuff.

Hyunjin: I'm sorry for keeping you in the dark. We need to talk.

Lix: Hey wanna come over? I can make us brownies and we can talk things out.

Changbin: Are you okay?

Jisung: Minho is really sorry. I am too. We all are. Can we talk it out?

Chris: Please?

Not wanting to deal with everything right now, you shut your phone off and begin your day. It's time to clean up and enroll in classes again. You should probably catch up with your other friends as well, you'd been very distant because you were always hanging out with Minho. It's best to keep busy and avoid thinking about that snake.

Tragically, as snakes would have it, Minho manages to slither his way inside your thoughts on a regular basis for the next month. As much as you hate it, you couldn't help seeing him in everything. He was in your sheets, in your kitchen, next to you on the couch, in the park, in the flowers, and in the sunset. Everything reminded you of him, every version of him, the bad and the good, and you're not sure which one you prefer.

Classes were to start in a week, through your circumstances, the school was able to let you enroll late to your classes, but you were now a year behind. There's so much to catch up on, yet your brain allows something to distract you from your studies, and that something is always Minho. He hasn't made an effort to make contact with you, which reassures you that whatever he had going on was all made up in his head. Maybe it was all a moment of hysteria.

The hysteria felt awfully real to you though. You can't help but doubt yourself and ask if the sleezy, ignorant, cold Lee Minho actually felt something for you, or if you felt something for him. That's why it's better to keep busy rather than to sit and ponder.

Chris: Wanna come over? It'll just be me and Jisung :)

You had forgiven the guys awfully quickly for your predicament. You could see why they'd put Minho in that situation in a moment of anger, they didn't even know that you were remembering your past, and although you wished they would have stepped up more to impede the shit show that happened with Minho, you can tell that they're sorry. They're your best friends after all, but you were still keeping them at an arms distance for the time being. Except for Hyunjin. He always encouraged you to chase after Minho and you couldn't help but too feel betrayed at that. No one else pushed you into his arms but Hyunjin did, and who knows? Maybe if he hadn't, you could've remained civil with Minho instead of playing house.

When you walk inside of Chan's dorm, the smell of warm pizza welcomes you like a warm hug.

"Hey! How are you?" Jisung asks from the couch beside Chan.

"I'm good, thank you." You offer a small smile in return as you take off your coat to lay it on the nearest clean, flat surface.

The place is a mess, there a cups everywhere, the trash is overflowing, and the entire floor had become a laundry basket. "I don't keep you guys in check for a year and all of the sudden your place becomes a pigs den?" You laugh while sprawling yourself on Chris' couch, throwing your legs over Jisung.

"Hey! It wasn't us, it was -" Jisung gets cut off by Chan discretely pinching his leg under the blanket. The younger winces but remains silent.

"Yeah, Jisung's been a mess lately." Chris smiles apologetically.

"Haha. Yeah, sorry." Jisung adds.

You couldn't help but feel as if they were hiding something, but before you could question them, the front door swings open.

"Jisung. What the hell do you want? I was in the middle of practice." The second Minho spots you, he freezes like he did before. Loss for words, he just stares at you as if he'd seen a ghost. He wants to walk out and get as far away from you as he can, but he also wants to run up to you and hold you in his arms. He wants to apologize over and over again, he wants to beg for your love, but he knows better than to think that you'd accept him.

You immediately hop off the couch, quickly on guard, wishing that he wasn't standing in front of you. Seeing him in your memories was very different than seeing him in real life. He looked thinner, tired, and restless. The Minho you had been seeing for the past year looked happy and healthy. Now he was drowning in his hoodie, his hair was messy, and his expression read exhaustion. You couldn't help the worry that seeped its way into your brain.

"What are you doing here?" You ask.

"I live here." Still staring at you in shock, unfortunately, it seemed that he'd gotten even better at hiding his emotions.

"What about your place?"

"I got kicked out for not maintaining the place while I lived with you."

Was he implying that this was your fault?

"You never had to live with me in the first place." An argument. Something you were both so used to, now caused an ache in both of your chests. Your words catch at the base of your throat, and Minho doesn't even have the energy to argue.

Minho finally takes his eyes off of you, scanning the area, looking at the mess he'd made at his friends dorm. The past month had been hell for him. He kept on beating himself up anytime he had a second alone with his thoughts. The only good thing he had done since he left your place was joining the school's dance team, hoping that doing something he enjoyed could take his mind off of you. He was wrong. Every time he showed up to practice, he remembered that you were the only reason he was doing this, not giving up on his dream. He was undereating and overworking himself to the bone, which was not the healthiest coping mechanism but the other option was to rot away in the couch.

He nods and makes a move to turn away, leaving the dorm again.

"Don't walk away Lee Minho!" He pauses his steps but doesn't turn around.

"You wanted me to leave."

"It's not that easy! I don't know what I want okay? I'm in shambles. I want you to leave, but I want you to come back right after. I want you to cry but it hurts to see you in pain. I trust you but I hate you. Worst of all I love you, but I don't even know what's real anymore." You throw your arms up in desperation, not even realizing that Jisung and Chris had left the area long ago. "I just want to know what's real."

Minho finally turns to look at you with an expression that can best be read as indignation. Or was it desperation?

"You want to know what's real? The real thing is that I want to know every part of you, every scar, every bruise, I want to trace the map of you! All of you and every thing about you. My fingers a compass, and your freckles the constellations that I will chart in my heart. That way, when I close my eyes I'll have you in my stars forever, because guess what? You're already in everything else! You're in the sun, in the air, and in my reflection. I'm drowning in the memory of you and the worst part is that I can't even see you!" Minho walks towards you but you stay frozen in place.

"It's never been the way you looked, it was always the way you were. You were like me, both broken and angry. It wasn't until I saw you behind the walls and I was able to see you bare. I would have fallen in love with you with my eyes closed, but I never could because we never allowed each other the chance. You told me that you didn't want to be the shell of who you are, so why can't you let yourself be happy?" He's face to face with you know, a mere couple of feet apart. He was no longer loud, but more so calm. His plea turning into a confession.

"From the moment I saw you making a fool of yourself in that park, I knew that you were worth the broken heart. Finish breaking my heart, and you'll find yourself inside. I'm sorry, but I'll never find the right words for you. You are my everything, always, and even that is not enough."

"Minho stop." Somewhere in the middle of his speech, your eyes decided to betray you and tears were now freely streaming down your face.

"I'm glad I found you, the real you, because before you, I never knew what to wish for. Want me to be honest?" He laughs and runs his fingers through his hair. "I'm terrified of letting you in. I'm scared to see myself more clearly through your eyes, wondering if I'm good enough. I already lost you, but the truth is that not having you scares me more than all the other truths of love. So please, look at me in the eyes and tell me that I'm not being real right now."

He's mere inches away from you, searching for an answer on your face.

So many thoughts but no clear answer runs through your mind, you're just overwhelmed by his confession, the situation, his mere presence, is not letting you think clearly whatsoever. So you break eye contact and make a bee line for the door. While holding the door knob, you stop and say your last words.

"Sorry Minnie."

Minnie.

The one term of endearment that Minho allows to give him hope.

-

Of course on the first day of class you'd be running late. You hated being late and the stress of studying is weighing heavy on your shoulders. How could the morning be any worse?

Luck is a funny thing though. Just when you think things couldn't get worse, they always do.

You bump into someone that simply continues walking, making you drop all of your notecards and papers on the floor. You immediately bend down to begin collecting everything, but there is so much going on around you. People playing around, others trying to find a seat, and more reuniting with their friends after the summer. So much people, so many noises, this is why you're never late to anything. The stress begins to build even more, to the point where your hands begin to shake, needing to move faster in order for you to find your own seat.

His hand comes out of nowhere. Body shoving away the people that were stepping on your stuff, rushing to pick everything up to help you. He hands everything he collected in a neat pile and you cautiously take it. He then turns to the nearest desk on his left, grabbing two coffees and handing you one.

"Hey, I'm Lee Minho. Looks like we're in the same class. Wanna sit together?"

Starting from where you left off was messy, but maybe starting from the beginning wouldn't be so bad. It will take time, but it might be worth it. If everything was real, it will definitely be worth it and more.

"I'm Y/N. I'm down, but I have to warn you, I can be a bit mean at times."

He laughs and hovers a hand on your lower back to guide you to the two empty seats next to each other.

"I wouldn't change that for the world." He gives you a small smile that could also be a smirk. He had the audacity to be cocky?

Despite that, you can't help the little ray of sunshine that warms you from the inside.

“I hope you mean that Lee Minho.”

“I always mean what I say.”

-

A/N: okay, i am not in love with the ending but honestly if it was up to me, i would've ended it on the last chapter. I'm trying something new w happy endings. Thank you so much for reading!!

TAGLIST: @stanstraykidsskz @weareapackofstrays @linos-kitten @cassidymb121

[alittlextrathatway]

What are some of your best and worst Brettsey moments?

What are some moments that inspire you to write or make you write because things need to be changed?

What are some storylines you wish the show had exploded with Matt and Sylvie as individuals and Brettsey?

Or times when the writers could have gone deeper?

Is there anything you want to write but feel apprehensive about or feel like you can't get it right?

Now that the Caseys have left Chicago I can answer this one. 🥺 Been saving it.

It’s so hard to narrow down BEST moments. I love the “You’re a little extra that way” conversation, Sylvie’s confession of feelings from 9x16, their love scene from that same episode, the first kiss in 9x02, and the eye contact at Molly’s from 9x02 as well. There’s more but those are the first ones that come to mind. Of course now I have to consider the BEAUTY that was their wedding ep which gave us SO MUCH. Their vows were perfect. Making out in the turn out room, also perfect. Sylvie escaping/running for her life and Matt tackling the guy and holding Sylvie for dear life after, again perfect.

As for worst, I’d say anything out of character. Matt’s 10x22 “I don’t know” always makes me mad because there’s no way someone who loves Sylvie as much as he does wouldn’t reassure her in that moment. The way the break up was orchestrated in 11x01 with Sylvie comparing her relationship to Violet’s or Stellaride’s or even Kyle’s, Matt and she not talking for two weeks — all of it felt forced and weird. Sylvie doesn’t normally compare herself to others like that and Matt wrote Sylvie a LETTER and put it in the mail in S10 when they kept missing each other. I’d say those.

I think a lot of what inspires me to write is less things that need to be changed and more things that need to be explained. Like the break up in 11x01 and Matt’s “I don’t know” in 10x22. Both those things made me want to dig in and take something that feels OOC to me and elaborate on it. That happened to me in S9 a lot. I wanted to really explore their perspectives, thoughts, traumas, and emotions in a way TV just doesn’t have a lot of time to do.

The biggest one for me is the trauma that resulted from Arnow. Matt’s guilt over Sylvie being hurt and Otis. Sylvie’s grief over losing Otis and exploring that grief as part of the reason she didn’t realize things with Kyle wouldn’t work sooner than she did. I feel like there was some excellent material there that could have been mined for them. The other one, that I was convinced the show was saving for the dating Brettsey era that we never really got, was meeting Brett’s birth father. After everything she went through with Julie, how would that go? Would he be as lovely as Julie was? How would Matt help her through it?

Times when the writers could have gone deeper for me is always going to be exploring trauma. I wanted to know more about Matt’s relationship with his dad. We saw Nancy and we heard about his dad from her but what were Matt’s memories like? How did he remember him? Also why didn’t Christie share Matt’s opinion on their mom or see the abuse? Was their dad partial to Christie? And for Sylvie, I wanted to know more about Harrison and Hope and how that dynamic shaped a young Sylvie. Harrison and Hope were clearly the gaslighting types and if those people were her childhood best friend and high school sweetheart then there must be more emotional abuse that she didn’t reconcile until after they were gone. I also would have liked to have actually met her parents or her brother.

As far as things I want to write but can’t, I have had an idea for a regency Brettsey AU FOR YEARS. I am not great with historical fiction/romance though so I’ve never seriously attempted to write it. But man do I want to. I think it would be full of so much yearning and tenderness.

Hopefully I answered all the questions you had! I LOVED THESE QUESTIONS. My favorite part of writing fanfic of these two is trying to get inside these people’s heads. They’re complicated and loving and generous but also have experienced great tragedies and faced abuse from people they loved. The fact that they find solace and safety in each other is breathtaking to me and so well deserved.

[qqueenofhades]

AHAHA! YOUR GOOD OMENS S2 META AND FIC HAVE MADE ME SCREAM AND THANK YOU FOR WRITING AND SHARING!!!

YOUR ANALYSIS IS SPOT ON AND EVEN MADE ME REALIZE NEW THINGS THAT TWIST MY HEART EVEN MORE!! I AM IN AGONY AND LOVE IT HERE. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!

I must ask because I’m curious to hear your thoughts on the matter (although feel free to ignore this if you don’t want to/don’t think there’s anything to it) (and also if perhaps you spoke about it in your meta post and I unfortunately missed it): What do you think of the recurring theme of Aziraphale and “Forgiveness/Forgiving people”?

I’m guessing most everyone remembers “May you be forgiven” from the bandstand scene from season 1, and season 2 opens with Aziraphale “forgiving” Maggie’s debt (which I believe he later tells Crowley is for “only selfish reasons of course” and is quite happy about it.) He also mentions he’s quite good at forgiveness… and then I’m forced to think of reminded of the “I forgive you” at the end. I think it’s interesting that he says “I” at this moment… and can’t help but wonder if this is a heat of the moment aspect or something that taps into something much… deeper. Subconscious perhaps. Also the idea of what exactly he is forgiving. Is it really “forgiveness” for a kiss or… forgiveness for something else????

I want to scream into the woods for YEARS

Anyways!! Just curious!! Thank you again for sharing your thoughts and insights, I love to see them!!!

Aha, thank you so much! And yes, GOD YES, I absolutely DO HAVE THOUGHTS (TM) about Aziraphale and Forgiveness. It is one of the things that I could have gotten to in my previous meta, but didn't, in the interest of it not being twice as long as it was. But. Yes.

I think we're meant to read the theme in two senses: one, about Aziraphale's struggle with his identity as an angel, and two, about Aziraphale's struggle with his queerness (in this case, queer being his attraction to a male-presenting demon, but gender isn't at all the thing that's keeping them apart; it's definitely the demon part). Aziraphale likes forgiving people because he's an angel, but as he says re: Maggie, it is selfish. It is a quick and easy way for Aziraphale to demonstrate Goodness, it requires very little sacrifice from him, and he can do it whether or not the person in question wants it (in re: the Final Fifteen, where he just twists the knife further after the kiss). In the case of Maggie, it will get him slavish gratitude, he feels Good, he assumes the other person feels Good too -- success all around!

Except of course, Aziraphale is doing the kind of (inadvertently) hurtful weaponizing that we often talk about in regard to the cultural expectation that you have to Forgive people who have badly hurt you, usually your parents. Consider all the advice that you "need" to forgive them, it's on you to forgive them, you're a bad person if you don't -- even though in the case of toxic or abusive parents/family, they usually don't demonstrate any remorse at all. As discussed in my earlier meta, this is especially, painfully pertinent to Aziraphale because a) Heaven is the toxic family/partner, and b) they have, indeed, not demonstrated any remorse at all. Instead, they only keep tightening the noose, emotionally manipulating and gaslighting him even more, and otherwise showing no signs of ever letting up. They want Aziraphale to apologize for what he is, what he does, what he loves -- they want him to ask them for forgiveness, and they'll make a show of granting it, but only with serious strings attached. They've already convinced him to come back to heaven, only for him to realize they haven't changed at all and still want to unleash the Apocalypse. Aziraphale's own forgiveness, despite his best intentions, is still toxic and performative because this is where he learned how to do it, and Heaven's forgiveness of any kind is only ever an emotional manipulation. So he's doing it as an emotional manipulation of his own, even if he doesn't really mean to. Etc. etc. children of abusive families having to unlearn a shitton of toxic traits/emotional reflexes, and Aziraphale is still very tied to it.

As for his "forgiveness" of Crowley after the kiss, there's a few things going on there. First, he's panicking, he doesn't know what to do, he's terrified of actually, fully choosing Crowley at that moment and therefore openly defying Heaven, and so he just reaches for it as a security blanket. He thinks it'll comfort Crowley by somehow magically telling him, "I don't hold that against you and I know why you did it, I want you too but I can't admit that," but while this might be what Aziraphale means, it's not at all what he communicates. Instead it comes off as condescending, sanctimonious, No Homo, and seemingly ultimate proof to Crowley that Aziraphale doesn't return his feelings and views the kiss as some kind of sacrilege that he, the Bad Old Demon Attempting Fleshly Temptation would otherwise be blamed for -- unless, of course, O Holy Aziraphale is so good as to forgive him for doing it. No wonder Crowley tells him not to bother. Everything that is encapsulated by that statement, and what it means for their relationship, is everything he cannot stand.

I also think we're supposed to read it in light of the also-previously-discussed metaphor for religion, queerness, and what religion, especially fundamentalist organized religion, does to queer people. In so many cases, any explicit queerness, or attempt to act on that queerness, in a religious framework, is met with this exact kind of pitying condescension: "I'll pray for you" or "I forgive you for your unseemly queer desires, as long as you repent," or "love the sinner, hate the sin" or other pious platitudes that don't represent any real acceptance and only serve to increase the hurt (not least because "love" is always in very short supply). So for Aziraphale to say that to Crowley, even if that's not really what he means, is the ultimate gut punch. It's not a coincidence that he's offered what he thinks is the best plan -- Heaven! Them as angels together! Returning to serve the terrible system in the fanciful idea they can make it Better! -- and Crowley rejects that unsatisfying and impossible framework in favor of that desperate, wild, angry kiss. It's the antithesis of what Aziraphale is offering, but he can't accept what Crowley's offering instead because it likewise is so far beyond anything he has comprehended or feels ready to take, and... ouch.

Anyway, I also don't think it's a coincidence that the next time we see them in s3 (/stares pointedly at Amazon), Aziraphale will be the one in the position of needing forgiveness -- real forgiveness -- from Crowley, and both of them damn well know it. And how they get there, and how they negotiate to the point where they reach it, will be the emotional key of that final act, and for their happy ever after.

[masonmiamor]

Like old times… - - Mason Mount x reader.

hi lovelies, I missed you all, here’s pt.2 of we meet again! 🤭🫶🏻

“I don’t want anything serious right now… You really hurt me. I brought myself down too much, to the point where I rethink anything I say or do. I need time,” you say standing up and wiping your tears. Mason sighed in defeat, knowing it would take a while but he was sure he wanted you.

“I’ll respect that Y/n. I thought I lost you… I did for a while. Everyone said I was stupid for what I did, and they’re right. I don’t deserve you, but I can’t help it but be by your side. You’re it for me baby,” you sob once again at his words. He suddenly pulls you into a warm hug, digging his head into the crook of your neck.

“I’m really sorry baby, I really am. I never meant to hurt you to this extent. It may sound like I'm gaslighting you but I'm not. I will do anything it takes to have you back at my side,” he confessed, leaning back and grabbing your cheeks. He let out a small smile when you blushed at his actions.

“To hold you, when asleep or in need of a hug, help you cook and bake while making our favorite, listen to you read while I draw small shapes on your chest or arm. I just need you…” It was silent. The only thing you could faintly hear from both of you was the way your hearts were beating extremely fast.

“Promise me something…” you let out, taking his hands and holding them near your sides. “Anything. You name it,” you chucked at his urgency. “Promise you won’t leave me again, that nothing you said that night was true, and you’re not lying to me”.

His brown eyes stared deep into yours, you seeing the faint tear streaks running down his cheeks, “I promise my love.” He tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear, hugging you once again. Just in case for whatever reason he doesn’t get to hold you anymore… he can forever cherish this intimate moment.

~~~

Weeks later you find yourself in his house again. You stayed outside in the cold rainy weather debating whether or not what you were doing was right. He offered you to come to his house to spend a friday night together, do some of the old things you did before.

On your way here you made sure to bring some art supplies, a deck of cards, and a fresh pack of baked cookies he loved dearly. You reminded yourself of the small steps you were taking. The small steps leading up to build something bigger in the future between you.

Mason sent you flowers every Saturday when he was away for a game. Roses to be exact, with small notes reminding you of the worthy and loving person you were. He offered to take late night drives back to the secret space you both stored, and buy ice cream afterwards.

He made sure you weren’t feeling uncomfortable or off before going out, only wanting the best. He’d ask to hold your hand, every now in then peckering small kisses on the back. When nervous he would fidget with a gold ring you had on, twisting it one side to another.

Tonight felt right. Something was in the air, and you felt better than before. The nerves washed upon you as you pulled into the familiar driveway , least to say when you kicked off your boots and walked into the hall where he had some of his accomplishments.

“I just finished putting the pasta into the water. Come here, let me show you my secret sauce,” he gestured with his hand to follow him, you smiled and did so. The kitchen looked different, quickly noticing he changed the dining table and had more plants. A more modern home.

He stood behind you watching the way you cut the garlic, chili, tomatoes, etc. Praising you as you followed the simple instructions. While washing your hands, you speaked all of the sudden, “I have a surprise…” he cocked his to the side while stirring the hot pan.

“Which is? I was perfectly fine with the cookies Y/n,” he said nervously. You held up your finger and walked back to the entrance where you picked up the items. He watched you impatiently as you set down the bags. He walked over to your side taking a seat on the barstool.

“So you said well sorta implied to old times, I brought some canvases, paint and brushes. I was thinking of doing this small challenge I saw on twitter, only if you want to of course,” he nodded and kissed your temple. He thanked you shyly, making you giggle.

“And…” he looked up at you sheepishly, “Since fall is here I got you crocs with spider-man charms, and a Nike crewneck. We’d be matching,” you pointed to your feet and shirt seeing him laugh. “This is perfect! The fact you got Spidermen charms too! Thank you Y/n I love it,” he hugged you while still holding the shoes and shirt.

The bell dinged, cutting the moment short and putting your full attention to the dinner. After setting up the table with plates, utensils and candles you sat down across each other. You sipped on your wine hearing him talk about the match that took place this weekend, how Kai and him exchanged charms bracelets.

How he would smile while talking about Summer and his family and telling you how he found out he was going to be an uncle again. You mentally noted to congratulate his sister later. He listened to you gossip about work, about the pictures you took in the city, and your friend moving out with her boyfriend.

“I’ll help you clean Mason,” he opened his mouth to disagree but you shook your head. “Nope none of that. I’m helping, end of story,” he rolled his eyes playfully at your stubbornness. You wiped down counters, sweeped and loaded the dishwasher.

After that you both were seated in the living room, full attention at the card game. After beating him twice he decided it was enough, claiming “he didn’t want to boost your ego too much”.

After painting on the canvases a small silence fell between you again. The air felt heavy and cold, you looked around and saw the picture of the two of you back when he took you to the Chelsea christmas dinner. Him kissing your neck as you squirmed and laughed. He looked at you then back at the picture, feeling now sad and confused.

Today was well needed for you. It almost felt surreal to him when you agreed to his offer, adding to when you surprised him. To others it would look like you never went through what both of you experienced. Mason had to pinch himself reminding you weren’t his just yet…

He got positive feedback from everyone and he felt more different than before. A brighter smile and mindset. Often hearing the teasing and compliments at Cobham or from his family. He saw the change, and grew to like it quickly. It was all due to the fact you were back into his life.

You looked at his frown placed on his face, leaning in and rubbing your thumb over his freckles. “What’s wrong Mason? Did I do something?,” you asked anxiously. He looked up and saw your eyes, his heart beating faster than before.

“How much longer do I have to prove myself to you? When will you believe me?” he said sternly and upset. His words took you at back, “I-I-I…” you were lost for words, seeing his shoulders drop at your reaction.

He stood up, regretting how he spoke up all of the sudden. His cheeks burned red as embarrassment washed over him. You followed his movements, “Mason, I-,” he shook his head. “It’s fine, sorry I asked…,” you furrowed your brows at his disappointed tone.

“Forget it, it’s fine… actually no. Am I reading the room wrong? I just have done so much to prove myself and I'm going crazy… I love you Y/n, only you…” you intake a breath at his confession.

“The amount of times I walk in here and see our

photo plastered on the wall, or the small mug you have in the cabinet with your favorite coffee, or the fact our photo album is still stored in the same spot. I’m slowly giving up and accepting maybe the fact you’re done with me…” his voice trailed down into a sadder tone.

He shook his head and sat on his white couch, you snapped back into reality and walked toward his curled body, seeing how he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Why would I do that? Give up on us? I’m sorry if I didn’t show those old emotions like before Mason. Trust me all I want is you too…”

He looked up, you seeing how he teared up. You straddled his lap, rubbing your hands from his shoulders and resting them on his neck. “I love you Mason Mount. You don’t have to prove yourself any longer, or read the room incorrectly because I feel the same way… It took me a while to comprehend but you stuck to your word,”

You could feel his fast pulse as you leaned in and placed your lips against his, after forever. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath in and hummed, after so long he could finally feel the way your lips molded against his. He rested his hand on the back of your neck, the other arm bringing you closer from the waist.

He pulled apart, and you smiled but quickly kissed back as he placed his lips on your more eagerly. He kissed you more deeply and passionately, almost falling apart as you let out a small moan.

He pecked the inner corners of your mouth, cheeks, nose and jaw, never wanting to stop. You giggled at his excitement but held on tight. He stopped and rested his forehead along yours, seeing the way your lashes touched your cheeks when your eyes were closed.

After a small peck to your neck he faced you, “Where do we go from here?” he asked, concerned. “From here, I would like you to be my boyfriend again, the one who laughed when I tickled, or pouted when I didn’t give them a proper kiss,” he hummed and thought about it. “I would like that very much my love.”

“Hi boyfriend…” you said shyly, seeing how his eyes glimmered at your words. “Hi girlfriend…” he said sheepishly. You suddenly stood up and remembered, “The cookies! I’ll be right back!”

He groaned at no longer holding you, “Forget the cookies. Women, If you don’t come this instant!”

[wonderlandmind4]

i've returned to talk about daredevil AHA, i swear to fucking god i WILL SUE I WILL SUE FUCKING KEVIN FIEGE I WILL SUE THE WRITERS omg i just needed foggy and Karen back AND THIS IS WHAT I GET OMG IM NOT BELIEVING IT FOR A SECOND BRUH

Hi friend!! I’ve missed you.

Okay so. I am holding onto hope that:

1- The first half of the season (if that rumor of the first part being episode 1-9 are true) will be when the blip happened and during the blip, which would give the excuse and reason for Foggy and Karen NOT being there. It’s now seeming like Matt never got snapped away- which I would LOVE to see how they do that with his senses cuz that shit would be so so tragic in Matt’s pov having no idea what’s happening and nothing he can do to do stop it- so Matt doesn’t get snapped, but Karen and Foggy do- so their firm….is also gone. It would be too painful for Matt to continue that business without them.

Due to these reasons and pain and guilt and PAIN and Matt, because he’s Matt, will somehow blame himself for not helping in a battle he had no idea was happening and stopping it. He may go into a depression again, maybe this is where and when he meets Kirsten or something. But during the 5 years of the blip, he decides to work for/with another firm, or start a new one again.

2- Again if the rumor is true and the second part of the season is episodes 10-18, maybe that’s when End Game happens and everyone comes back. (I don’t think Born Again was even close to finising that first half of filming before the WGA Strike so reaaalllyyy, maybe there’s wiggle room here once selfish studios pay writers and actors what they deserve and more and filing starts again whenever that will be)

But my theory and some other fans theories, that the second part will be AFTER the Blip, and they can do a little time jump if they want or flashbacks or something idk. Let’s not forget in She-Hulk Matt actually looked and seemed happy, in a good place, at times lighthearted and having fun and THE SAME WITTY CHARMING ASS (i say fondly) HE IS (that didn’t change) with Jen and he even says “we” talking about his firm and Matt has always kinda been against bigger/giant law firms because most of the lawyers that work at those places tend to be more corrupt and not have the clients best interests at heart. Maybe if he joined a bigger firm during the blip there would be some conflict there.

And after, this would be A great reason and opportunity to bring back Foggy and Karen and could potentially start up their business again, or at least get Foggy to join the firm, OR they have a little branch under the bigger firm. The point is, they could use the second part of the season to bring back Nelson and Page.

And Matt’s words to Jen sounds more like he has Foggy back in his life and he’s still in a pretty good place. You don’t think Foggy would get an absolute kick out of Matt having a one night stand with She-Hulk!? He’s be so proud and cracking joke’s because “she literally spanked your ass twice” 😂 (Kevin if you’re reading this…)

3- After seeing Charlie Cox at two cons and meeting him twice, I firmly and 100% believe he has somewhat of a voice in some decisions for Born Again. The studio KNOWS this show or “reboot” or continuation wouldn’t be possible or the same without Charlie. Kevin knew that. And the reaction Charlie/Matt got in NHW PROVED how much the entire fandom loves him as Daredevil. So, I feel like his input and opinions are valued. Which makes me hopefully guess/theorize that Charlie has at least spoken to someone about bringing back Elden and Deborah. And I know Vincent really loved Deborah as Karen too, and I feel like he would also have a say because you just can’t change him as Fisk either. Same with Jon as the Punisher.

So again, I am holding out for being hopeful and not truly believing anything until it’s in the actual episodes I watch. It’s marvel, we have to remember that, they lie and gaslight fans all the time and try to convince the fans what’s not true and what is. So a twitter account from “sources” is a little harder to believe.

I have nothing against Deborah Ann-Woll or her as Karen because I actually loved Karen. But 99% of the heart in Daredevil was Foggy and his relationship with Matt. To not have AT LEAST Foggy be in the show at some point is utterly ridiculous. Matt’s not suddenly going to have a new best friend who truly gets and understands every single side of him and knows his past and martyr tendencies like Foggy. Matt isn’t just gonna straight up trust others and tell them he’s also Daredevil (Jen literally just ripped his mask off but he had no intention of telling her know)

And honestly, just as no one else but Charlie Cox could play and be Matt/Daredevil, no one else but Elden Henson can be and play Foggy. I just don’t think that amazing heart of Foggy’s can be the same without Elden.

Wow that was long and it’s 3:45am so I’ll step off now.

[autumn-foxfire]

Alternative title for this rant: Gosho is a misogynistic writer and I am going to scream.

Time for the case where someone changes their face to Shinichi's! I have mixed feelings about this case. I do enjoy it but the romance aspect of it is once again really, really bad, but I'll be getting into it when it happens.

...And it's already time for me to complain. Can they just inform Ran about the aspects around the case instead of leaving her in the dark? It's so shitty of Heiji to constantly get Ran's hopes up about Shinichi showing up when he KNOWS he can't. This has happened so many times now and I hate it, especially when he's the one who is all for Ran knowing so why taunt the duo like this?!

Okay but will the opening address the symbolism they put in it, with Ran putting the glasses back on Shinichi because to her he's Conan, her little brother, not Shinichi her terrible, gaslighting, absent love interest? It won't but I think it's pretty important symbolism, as this also happens in this case though Gosho tries to spin it as something romantic in nature instead when it's really, really not.

It's a miracle Shinichi survived this case, considering he transformed in water. The transformation is already painful for him, and now he has to worry about not drowing too, while his throat is still extremely sore from the cold he has which would make it even more painful.

I know this isn't Shinichi but he looks like him and he looks good in these clothes.

"Ran cares more about the 7-year-old boy in her care who has gone missing than her love interest who suddenly appeared out of nowhere after a long time of avoiding her so that must mean something about this Shinichi!" It means that Ran is a good person who cares a lot about her little brother who she has been helping raise and I fucking hate this plot with a passion because it's so goddamn stupid T-T

Poor Shinichi, though, everyone hates him because of he wanted to protect the child of the mayor from the truth about the reason for the murder suicide.

I'm going to say it, Ran has no reason to be suspicious of this version of Shinichi and it speaks very badly about her character that the moment he doesn't behave how SHE wants him to behave, she writes him off <.<

Shinichi should have been a drama student as well, he did not need to put on the wig but he did because he needed to fit the theme of the monster in the forest.

Is it bad I don't find the reporter lady to be that bad? Yeah, she's a bit annoying but she's only trying to find the truth about the situation that Shinichi purposely kept hidden.

Ran: Should I be upset that Shinichi has lost his memory?

Kazuha: Of course you should be! I would be!

Ran: I don't feel anything, though.

Gosho a moron: Because it's not Shinichi and she somehow knows even though she shouldn't but I'm just making bullshit excuses as to why she does!

Me an intellectual (delusional): It's because she doesn't love Shinichi.

Heiji is a true bro, though. He saw his boy has stabbed someone, still believes he's innocent and goes out of his way to protect him.

Kogoro, Kazuha and Ran are so bad at lying T-T

And Gosho loves to make Ran an absolute idiot because he has no respect for her at all <3

Ran: Please make his boy the real Shinichi, the person I believe him to be!

Me: Ran do you even like Shinichi at all. Or do you just like the version of him you've made in your head?

We don't speak enough about Shinichi's talent at acrobatics as well. We see it often with Conan but not as much as Shinichi but he was impressive jumping from tree to tree.

Oh this case also reminds me of how much of a doormat Ran is due to Gosho. "Shinichi, don't go!" CHASE HIM RAN. INSTEAD OF ASKING HIM TO STOP BEING WHO HE IS, FOLLOW HIM YOU ABSOLUTE MORON!

Why can't he just give Ran's character basic fucking respect?!

And Heiji uses logic to come to the right conclusion, a curtesy that he can't be bothered to give to Ran because Gosho has absolutely no respect for his women characters and I'm tired of pretending he doesn't <3

This is why I am so angry about the canon ships. They're incredibly misogynistic in nature and this fandom turns a blind eye to it and pretends that people like me who also have other ships for the characters just believe so because we ship something else. I have NEVER cared about canon so Shinichi and Ran being canon does not bother me, what does bother me is how disgusting the writing behind the canon ship is.

Shinichi is crying so that must mean he isn't her Shinichi because Ran's Shinichi is a "macho man" who doesn't believe in emotion. I. Hate. This. Plot. Go fuck yourself Gosho.

I am angry. I am so goddamn angry. I am going to write Shinichi crying in front of Ran and I am going to make her have normal emotions about it because fuck that "this isn't Shinichi because he's crying" bullshit Gosho wrote the misogynist toxic masculinity prick of writer.

This isn't even the worst case for the canon ship. The worst one is the London one T-T

AND AGAIN SHINICHI HAS NO RESPECT FOR RAN TELLING HER TO STAND BACK WHEN SHE IS THE ONE WHO KNOWS SELF DEFENCE. FUCK.

Heiji: Ran has no interest in Shinichi when he lost his memories so that must mean that it wasn't him.

Me: I am going to punch someone.

This poor guy though... All of this happened because he was too in shock to hear the truth.

I really don't know how everyone isn't terrified when Shinichi starts to bend over in agony. Also we should discuss how he always grabs at his heart, you can't tell me it doesn't put a lot of stress on that organ.

Shinichi: If I turn back into Conan in front of Ran-

Me: What? What will happen? Will she be pissed off you've lied to her constantly? Made her reveal secrets about herself to her brother that she never intented for you to hear? That you've seen her in a state of undress so often? That you gaslit her constantly about your identity and don't trust her at all? So romantic.

Ran just isn't all that concerned that Shinichi let out such a terrible scream of pain. Just shouting his name casually like it's normal when if I was in her situation and my boyfriend did something like that I would rush to him immediately.

So romantic <3

Ran he's seen much more than what you wanted him to see. Kogoro, I don't like you most of the time but please do give him a judo throw.

Oh Shinichi is shorter than Heiji, or at least he was in that shot.

She actually chased after Shinichi for a change. What a surprise :o

And this isn't romantic, Gosho. It's Ran once again being told to stop chasing Shinichi and her being a doormat and backing down because he told her to be so :p Also I've said it before and I'll say it again, it is incredibly cruel of Shinichi to make Ran wait without telling her the truth. A comedy show did this plot better than Gosho does and it's so embarrassing. The man gave up on his wife because he didn't want her to wait indefinitely for him as he didn't know when he would return. Also she was completely aware of the situation he was in and she made her own decision of whether she actually wanted to wait for him. Meanwhile Shinichi just strings Ran along with false promises because she is his possession and only he is allowed to have her.

Kazuha: Lets go!

Ran: But Shinichi told me to wait! I'm a doormat!

Kazuha: No you're fucking not.

Kazuha has more respect for Ran than Ran has for herself. Typical.

I really don't get the framing to make Ran a nuisance to Shinichi and his secret. I don't get why his lack of trust in her and respect for her is considering romantic. I don't understand how people enjoy this ship in canon. Fanon I can understand, but people actually defend the canon for some reasons I'll never understand.

This is the only romantic thing Shinichi has done for Ran, not letting go of her hand because she said she didn't want to. That's it. And I think it's terrible and Ran deserves so much better.

[dream-thief-forever-amen]

Eternal Brotherhood - ep 1-8 thoughts

Xiu is finally nice to Ning? Kinda sorta? Now that she’s hammered in ep 8? Ya’ll I don’t know how we are supposed to feel about this pair. I get that he is the king of passive aggressive gaslighting, but my dude… life is fleeting. Do you like her or not? Is this a pair I am supposed to ship as a couple or two people who have grown apart and don’t want let go?

Dude, just break up already. Ya’ll are that miserable couple everyone is sick of. Xiu’s little speeches to himself. Ugh. Actions speak louder than words sir.

I do wonder if he’s avoiding her cause he doesn’t line up to her father’s side of things politically and he worries he’ll have to kill the dude eventually. And then I wonder if Ning’s desperation isn’t also linked to this concern - that if she doesn’t lock him down pronto things will go dark. I guess I’m still interested in their story after all… frustrating as it is.

I really like this show otherwise, but whenever I’m having fun with Xiu or Ning separately they throw them into a scene together and then I just dislike them both again. I understand the dynamics of the other dudes and their ladies but Xiu and Ning?

I’m sure I’m not the first to point out the rather poor voice acting of Ning. The actress herself is doing a good job of being engaging but alas… poor girl was dubbed over for whatever reason. Please give me the directors cut with the original actress - I feel like it would be a totally different dynamic.

Outside of Xiu & Ning…

I’m desperately curious to meet more of the enemy. The brother of the princess who had no problem sacrificing her… or even the king who did everything to bring her home alive.

Also… are there demons/monsters in this show? There were a few snippets of conversation that implied there were OTHER others and it was as if they were not human. I’m super intrigued. Is Xiu one of these others or he is half and half? Does ANYONE know about his powers or is that his dark secret? I love this mystery.

I also love palace politics stories - especially ones that showcase all the double talk and manipulation and insane rules that these people experience in court. The scene where the sinister swordsmith politician is throwing his weight around keeping Xiu and Di Lin from searching for the princess by having them draw pictures of plants - my favorite scene thus far. I love little shitty assertions of power, how someone is using something petty and obvious to get what they want cause they know there’s nothing the other person can do about it. So fun to watch.

That old king is a piece of work, no? Sitting around playing with his puzzle box like a teenager on their phone. He amuses me greatly, especially in light of current politics. Sometimes you gotta hand the reigns to someone else - but you know these old kings are like Supreme Court justices they expect to die on the seat of power.

I’m worried about Xiu’s shifu! That goodbye was ominous. I like this dude a great deal of the three older dudes vying for power against the cranky king. Or is he already dead? Sometimes I feel like I looked away for two seconds and missed a vital piece of the plot.

Also these dudes are super comfortable with murder in that very perfunctory way that speaks of cognitive dissonance and years at war… they ain’t pausing for even a second before slicing and that’s also a nice touch.

Considering so much of this drama takes place indoors I like the decorating choices of all the locations. The color grading is very… well, this particular saturation combo is Game of Thrones all the way. Which is fine. Give us a nice snow covered landscape at some point and it will be complete.

It took me two episodes to realize this show is not historical China but a fantasy world. I mean… I think. I hope I’m right.

It’s very very hard not to look up reviews or search this site for more details but I want to avoid spoilers so I went in blind.

I can not help but think this show would be more enjoyable if I could follow it a little better. The world building is murky at this point - and ya’ll have had eight hours to help me out. I know there’s a big map in the throne room but I can’t see it… I need more color coding with the factions or something. Large ensemble stories with complex political plots are not impossible to convey - plenty of quality dramas have pulled it off - but this one… I’m not entirely sure who I should be rooting for? I wish I’d read the book.

There’s more to come so let’s see what clears up in the next ep!

P.S. the princess murdering the two dudes in the carriage was unexpected! She’s a cool character… making medicine and building fires in her pretty princess dress… Si Yilin, my dude, I like her too. I want him to explode from repression and maul her passionately like a starved animal. She’d be into it.

P.P.S - the actress who plays Ning is good and her voice is fine? Usually I’m not so turned off by voice acting but they made Ning sound like Edward from Cowboy Bebop. Who approved this? No objections were made? Ugh!

This is the actress who plays Ning and her real voice… they shouldn’t have dubbed her.

[pbandjesse]

Great and excellent news!!! Crabcake is safe! He showed up this afternoon and I am just so happy that he is okay.

It really was the best end to a pretty bleh day. Me and James agreed that even when things were good it was always with the thought about Crabcake missing. It was a dark cloud. But he's back and he's safe and I'm very happy.

Today was kind of blah though. I slept really well and very deeply. And while I was tired when I woke up I felt a lot better.

I was sad that Crabcake hadn't shown up. But I tried to not feel sad. James made me a runny egg sandwich. Gave me a hug. And sent me to work.

It wasn't a bad drive. I am really enjoying listening to the Swindled podcast right now. And when I got to camp I continued to listen to it while I worked on setting up the printing table inside since it was going to be rainy today. It never rained hard but it drizzled throughout the day and was very grey and finally cool and everyone seemed so happy about that. I was feeling a lot better not being so hot.

The day would be pretty good. I wasn't as quick to get snippy. The kids were sweet. I wasn't worried about materials as much because it was the last day. And I was having fun talking to my coworkers and finishing the 5th ball of yarn for my blanket project. I was having a nice day.

I had a funny morning when a stockade boy walked passed and said "caliente...what does that mean?" And I said. Hot. And he goes "actually it means spicy" and I'm like. Okay same difference I guess. And he goes "actually a very different connotation" but caliente does mean hot! I double checked on Google! Why was this child gaslighting me?

And then not long after that Aaron just came up and said he was in my building last night and was like. "You gotta be careful there's a rat in your building." And I'm like. Why do you think that? And apparently the tarp in the corner was "rustling" and I'm like. Okay? Why do you think that it's a rat and not the mice or the snakes?? And he acted so shocked that there is a snake in my building and was like we should catch it for nature. And I'm like. No?? It controls the mouse population. Again why do you think it's a rat??? I was very confused at the jump.

But thankfully the girl groups were both lovely, though they struggled with listening when we were done and it was kind of frustrating to have someone blatantly do something and smile in your face when you tell them to stop. But then they left and it wasn't my problem anymore.

Lunch was fine. Chicken nuggets and pasta salad. There was cauliflower but I find that to sandy so I didn't get that. I would get frustrated by a conversation about which gas station has the best food and everyone was like Royal farm royal farms! And I'm like everything I've ever tried there has been horrible. And they are like well that's because your a vegetarian and can't get the chicken. And Im like. Okay? But everything else? Wawa is better. But I could feel myself getting to worked up and knew I had to go lay in the AC. I wasn't even hot but I wanted to be cooler.

I walked to our cabin and laid down for a half hour and it was perfect and I'm glad I have started doing this. I would have a snack and watch a video and lay my head down and felt much more human after.

My afternoon was good. All the kids were fun, and were really into the project and that felt good. I had some good conversations with the counselors and I was just really enjoying their company. Both the kids and the big kids (counselors).

Tipis would stay an extra half hour and they were very fun. We would make bead lizards and paint and they watched a video and were laughing and being good kids. Stockade would join us and it was just a good time. It really feels like the best of camp when tipis are there. They are always such a good crew. And I am glad they enjoy hanging out at arts and crafts.

I was happy to go home though. And after cleaning up and setting up for the next week (I covered the table is the cut out bears that gave me a crazy painful blister from cutting the fabric) (I joked to Noah "I bet you can't guess what we're making next week!!" And he made a whole like hemming and hawling but about not being sure of the mystery and we got all the kids in on it until one very literal child goes. "Bears!" And we go omg! He's right!! He solved it!! Just with so much real enthusiasm it was very funny.), and helping Kamal and Jeci find their tyedye shirts I would leave.

And it wasn't a bad drive. I would go to amazing glaze first. Got stuck in a little traffic. And went to get the pieces we made. I love my pond bowl and James turtle looked great. Our house numbers could be better but I am glad we did it. It was fun. Even if I had been having a very bad day at the time.

I drove home and would beat James by a couple minutes. No luck on Crabcake. But I held sweetp and was trying to be good.

James started the oven to cook a frozen pizza and I was going to go take a shower but I went over to Crabcake's tank and then!! He was there!! In his metal hide!! I was so happy to see him. I picked him up to touch our foreheads together. He has never escaped. He was buried deep deep under his water, if the tunnel is to be believed. How we did not find him digging in the box I do not know. I was right about him just sleeping his overheating emergency scare on Wednesday. But man was it scary and I am so so so relieved he's okay.

We got him food and I took a shower and washed hair. I do like my new shampoo but I for sure still need my hair products. Which was my mistake the other day. But we learn. And I feel very nice with my hair right now.

I would hang out on the couch with my husband and we had a nice night on the couch. James would leave me for a bit to replace all of our door knobs and they look so nice. Once the doors are painted properly I'll share. I'm very happy even if the lock mechanism doesn't work in our door. They still look great.

But now we are upstairs together. James made us fresh cookies (which came out huge and we had a very silly laugh about them.) and we shared those upstairs. But now I am very tired. It was a long day. And I am not feeling as burnt out but I am sleepy.

So it is time for bed. And tomorrow I will go to the market and then in the afternoon Jess is coming to get me to go to her coworkers party. I hope I feel good tomorrow. I hope you all feel good. I love you all. I hope you sleep great. Goodnight!!!