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castle-dominion · 1 year

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4x11 until death us do part

flirty BODY toxic waste XD at least he has a water bottle, these idiots never have water bottles. "forgot it" this is the saddest thing ever. esposito just watching in disgust I love it lmao they are so in love & it's nauseating like he said but it's also so cute. but the no solid food thing sounds dumb af.

JE: Well, I am looking forward to meeting some of Jenny's sorority sisters. I'm about to show them some of New York's finest. *does a dumb little dance* KR: Good, then I guess you won't care that Lanie's bringing a plus one. JE, looking sad af: Who? KR: Uh, I don't know. She just RSVPed “plus one”. JE: How can--? How can she already have a boyfriend? We just broke up. KB: Don't worry, Espo, I'm going alone, so if the sorority girls don't work out, I'll dance with you. Alexis wasn't invited as castle's family.

Castle is so right, if I have to die I'm going down happy. Unless I want to make less burden on the mortician bc I'm suicidal bc I'm a burden on ppl, then I'd probs go nakey. ALEXIS? birthday suit hit the fruit. JE: *concerned about some medical guy named antonio* KR: *yelling loud af out the window*

Ooh sexy classical music ew castle: Coldest hearted creature on earth. She lures an unsuspecting male, takes him into her web, and then the moment they culminate, as soon as he feels the ecstasy of achieving his biological destiny, [shup] she opens up her jaws and eats him alive. Ryan, softly saying to beckett: I'm glad I'm in a healthy relationship.

Ooh double identity! fun!

Lanie's phone records? is that illegal? *chokes on the green toxic waste* He's rly pretty btw. Nice tie, nice red vest, nice shirt+jacket+lapel pin. So many buttons on the cuff. & then esposito at least he is wearing smth with a collar. "I'll get you his name.." *eyes emoji*

He fell pretty hard too lmao. isn't that dead in ASL?

Remember who killed markiplier & he died a billion different ways? Maybe that was a different episode... Rick: Who's the date? Lanie: Rick: sry "you dog" he says to the dead guy

KR: Ms. Franklin, i—it seems that you weren't the only woman that-- that Mr. Bailey was, uh… with [good word] in the hours prior to his death. HF: Um, what you mean “with”? KR: Was there another woman in the hotel room with you? HF: I didn't think could get any more humiliating. KR: Was that a yes? HF: No, Detective. KR: Thank you. Oh, and you should know that our M.E. has been able to determine that Mr. Bailey was, uh, wearing a condom both times, so that's… [I mean yeah at least you don't have an std] HF: That makes it all better. [Holly gives Ryan an angry look and he walks away. Holly calls after him.] HF: Now I wished I pushed him!

Poor ryan, he is Not Eating All Fricking Week & esposito comes in with a donut (lmao cop stereotypes) this is so sad remember that incorrect quotes? "did u eat my powdered donut?" 'no' "then what's that white powder on you?" 'cocaine?' KR: blgahgh!

RC: Speaking of murder, what's the credit card for? How is that a speaking of which?

KB: Yeah, well, you haven't heard what I would do. RC: Yeah, I don't think I ever want to know. LITTLE MISS HOMICIDE DETECTIVE Beckett's eyes just Widen My brother: hahaha look at Ryan. You can see his eyes go all the way around the room. *whisper yells* ryan, Ryan Riyaaan!!! Look at ryan's pretty tie there. hehe.

How did they GET all these women? I thought he was just sleeping with them not actually dating them all... & he wasn't lying to them abt his name but he still could have been lying about everything else.

RC: That's a big month. Taking a leave from work and your girlfriends. KR: And his apartment. *shakes evidence bags & his toxic water he's so cute omfh* & esposito is wearing basically the shirt I wore the other day except I actually embroidered mine to look cool. JE: That's a lot of cake. Me: what? KR: Why do you have to call it cake? I-it's money. It's a lot of money. It's about 60 grand. That's a really good fake id...

Wow that really messed up the meeting lol This man has a really really fancy tie but I don't like it.

lmao a wrench & an opened up paperclip? You want two paperclips or two wrenches hun. I thought she was just jewish lol I didn't realize it was an airline insignia woah former isralei military now that's experience

KR: Ahh. Jenny just texted me Lanie's plus one. Name is Toby Lang. JE: What? All right. Let's check this punk out. [Esposito types the name into his computer. Toby Lang MD pops up.] JE: Doctor Toby Lang? The guy's the chief administrator at St. Samuel's Hospital. Big job. KR: Lanie did her residency there, didn't she? JE: Yeah. KR, happygolucky: Good looking guy. JE: *eyeroll* KR: *looks down* JE: Played college hoops at Kentucky? Groundbreaking cancer research, are you kidding me? Put me down for plus one. KR: Jenny already did the tables. JE: >:( KR, immediately backtracking: What about her sorority sisters? *does that weird little dance brushing off his jacket* JE: Dude, I'm not showing up solo when she's bringing Captain America over here. *jabs the computer screen* KR, willing to upset his wife's placecards for his best friend: Okay. I'll talk to Jenny. But her mom is gonna need a name for that place card.

She said whom captions said who.

Perfect timing lol They would not have done it where there were cameras right in front of it These randos bested an ex-military flight attendant huh

Ryan is so smart: KR: Hey, tech just got the plate number off the kidnappers car. KB: I thought that the plates weren't visible on the ATM footage. KR: Ah, they weren't. But I found a traffic cam up the block where they were. I was also wondering where esposito was KR: In the break room trying to score his plus one. KB, through the wall: Espo! Let's go! JE: *looks up at Beckett and his hand slips on the espresso machine, spraying his potential plus one with steamed milk. The cop squeals in surprise and Esposito hands her a napkin on his way out.* Sorry. I gotta-- I gotta go.

RC: Hey, relax, man. It happens to a lot of guys. You get a little exited, lose control of your steamer. JE: (poor muzzle control. At least they let him mkick in the door) WHOA MOSTLY NAKEY OK THEN Lol I remember getting so many black eyes & nosebleeds from my san dien guan. classical music <3

exstalktion lmao castle rattling off crews before they reveal they are "pickup artists" 12%... oh wait this was back when milfs were not loved by tumblr Pablo Barnes: Then I see that she's got a ring on her finger. She's a married chick. We stay away from married chicks. KB: 'Cause you're so ethical. (other room) Max Landon: pf! No. They're just trouble. But he doesn't care. He's all in on her.

Authorizing huh? I like how espt is taking notes for the case but is totally taking them for himself. m-swing? heisman? Butterjob? *ryan looks over at espt taking these notes, I think he's asking "what are you doing" with his hand* Yank & chain reversal Bailey ultimatum? ew yucky

Holy crap it is a ledger & the prop team actually filled it! zebra trap? *boys get a little too close in the face* (this scene from the transcript) [23:54, INT. PRECINCT, BULLPEN - NIGHT] [Castle flips through Mike's "ledger".] RC: It's literally hundreds of women that Bailey slept with. KB: Or so he claims. JE: Seems legit to me. Most of these shots are pretty racy. [Esposito leans in close to see the ledger over Castle's shoulder.] RC: All with nicknames and dates. "June 9, 2010 Carnal Carrie. June 12, 2010 Mesmerizing Marjan." JE: Mmm. [Castle turns his head & ends up within kissing distance of esposito, then backs away from Esposito's face.] RC: Whoa. JE: Sorry.

KR: Really? This impresses you? These women are pathetic for falling for this guy. And Bailey? Bailey was just a--a con man and a liar. KB: Thank you. At least there is one real man amongst us. inconsistency with the book being open & closed but I don't care. it's fine.

RC: Beckett, when exactly did Ryan and Jenny start dating? [weird how ryan is is last name] KB: Mm, I think it was around 2009. She got him that ugly tie for their two week anniversary. [I remember that episode] So, I think Easter April. RC: Meaning, by May 2009, they'd been dating a month. KB, disinterested: Yeah. Why? RC: ... RC, uncomfortable: Bailey's May 20, 2009 entry. [Castle flips the book around to show Beckett.] KB: Oh, my gosh. That's Jenny. [that's a big picture compared to the others] RC: (whisper) Not just Jenny. "Gyrating Jenny".

esposito making eyes at work. so dumb sometimes. then again I'm a lesbian I was dating my first partner for a month before we realized it

JE: I think I like this place, partner. [calls him partner <3] KR: Dude, you're a cop. This is a Midtown bar. Women here, they're looking for lawyers and bankers. JE: I bank. [yeah bud, you use a bank] *Ryan chuckles* KR: Well, you are on your own. I'm getting married on Sunday. [he's so smiley] JE: Exactly. So, this is your last chance to be my wingman, [yk that's cute] help me get a plus one. [ah yes] KR: *drops his notebook in his lap* JE: I think I'm gonna try an M-swig. [lmao from the pickup artists] KR: Dude, you can't be serious. JE: What, are you thinking butter job? [no esposito he was not saying you can't be serious about the m swing he was saying you can't be serious about this silly thing right before his wedding] *Ryan bites his lips trying not to say anything* ew writes really big like that? You probably go through notebooks hella fast then.

Castle doing dishes lmao forbes top 400 no f'ing wonder But these people aren't in his book so...

I feel like you /should/ tell ryan but big bro brought up what happened in m*a*s*h If it's more than 2 you can't say both anymore. it's the 21st century people sleep with other people before marriage. (reminds me of that incorrect quote I read for aftg: Nicky "what's your body count?" neil 'idk like 30' nicky "neil you slut" neil 'wait we were talking about sex? I'm a virgin.' Nicky "WAIT WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY 30?") especially that early on, like... I mean they had a fortnightversary tie gift so they must have really liked each other but I thought "what if they were just dating a bunch of different people but kept coming back on a date with this one person so we decided to make it official" but that doesn't fit with the two week gift. I mean I would suggest talking to jenny herself

goes by jd, so cute RC: So, who was the wingman, the grandpa or the kid? She's not just skipping out on her dad she's skipping out on ryan. except that she wasn't invited in the first place she's a plus one so who cares.

oh my goodness 2:30 in the morning? that's late af when you have work the next day! At least esposito looks good in his bisexual layers, leather jacket, hoodieWAIT trans headcanon except for yk military but shush. See? & that's how you carry your coat. Ryan is soooo pretty. He doesn't have an engagement ring tho rn which I think is cool ig bc he can wingman easier... I am sure that I have seen this clip around so I don't feel the need to record it except that I do. Great fight scene but poor ryan he is starving.

you always email yourself, have you never had a job or been in high school? corporate sexpionage

I think that the writer couldn't come up with a joke so had castle say "there's a penetrating enemy lines joke here" either that or they were all too dirty for tv. pretty pretty sweater. KR: The only reason you guys didn't run into her at Global Twelve Consolidated is that we're still holding her. Lmao they were holding her & that's why she wasn't there that's literally what he said but I just found it funny I can't wait for ryan to faint while on the case.

Is this lunch or supper chinese food? lil bro just said gold frankincense & myrhhder should be a castle episode so now I'm goingto write a fanfic based on it. I was just going to quote the first bit but then there was more & I could not find a good place to stop. KB: There's too big a pool of possible marks that Bailey could have slept with. JE: Yeah, uh…speaking of that. You know…Ryan's my boy, [<3]so I gotta tell him about Jenny and Bailey. [Beckett gives Castle a look.] RC: You only told me I couldn't tell Ryan. KB: (sigh) Look, Espo, I appreciate your point of view, but the guy hasn't eaten in a week and a half, and after that doughnut incident, I don't-- [yeah she's right now is not the time to handle it, but then again I said they should tell jenny & she has also not eaten for a week & a half.] *Ryan enters and stares at the Chinese food sitting on the table. He gingerly picks up a file from the center of the boxes* KR: I'll just take these back to my desk. [bc he doesn't want to be around food, poor guy, brings up my DE days] JE: Sit down, bro. KR: What? *looks around* What? *sits down* KR: Why do you guys look so serious? JE: You should…eat something. KB: Yeah. Look hungry. You've got the posture of a feral cat. KR: Guys, I made a sacred vow to the woman I love… RC: *moves a takeout box towards Ryan* KR: Is that Mushu pork? [Esposito continues chowing down the food.] JE: (muffled) Yes. It is delicious. Come on, bro, just eat. [Ryan grabs the food from Castle and digs in, groaning in pleasure.] KR: (muffled) you're not kidding about this Mushu pork. Come on! JE: Right? KR: (muffled) Would you pass the spring rolls, please? JE: Yeah. So… *passes the box* JE: You know how we all love Jenny, right? KR: Yeah, what about her? JE: Well, it's just that…that ledger of Bailey's… KR, interrupting: Hey, is she in that? I've been meaning to ask, but I have been having these--these memory lapses. [which is so not ok, esp for a detective] Mm, pass the fried rice? RC: Yeah. *hands Ryan the box* RC: So, you've known all along? KR: No. I was telling Jenny about Javi's antics last night. [first names bc this was javi not esposito] *Beckett gives Esposito a look.* KR: And we got to talking about the case, and she told me that she met Bailey at a bar a month or so after we started out. JE: She told you about that???? KR: (chuckles) Yeah. She had no idea that he was some kind of professional pickup artist. Ha! RC: And you're not upset at all? KR: I'm-- um… *looks around* it's not like we were exclusive. [points for the polyam o'ryspolly hcs.] Mm, is that Mongolian beef? *Beckett smiles at Esposito and Castle's reactions. An officer enters. She hands Ryan a note.* Di: Here you go. KR: Thanks, Di. *Ryan reads the note.* KR: Oh! Get this. [he's been so happy since putting food in his mouth.] So, I've been trying to figure out where else Bailey might've been staying for the past month, and when we got onto his corporate spying for Global Twelve Consolidated, I looked into their corporate housing. KB: That's-- a great idea. RC: Yeah. Why didn't I think of that? [yeah, esp since he's the one starving himself.] KR: Turns out Mike Bailey has been checked into the Oaks on Park Avenue for the last month under his alias, Jake Hendricks. KB: Well, what are you sitting around for? *Ryan gets up quick & excited but hesitates as he reaches back for some food.* KR: Uh, do you mind if I take a spare rib? *Castle hands Ryan a takeout box.*

lil bro: maybe it's dr parish bc she deals with people who perish

First names but as someone with a mispronounced name I hate when they call him javieérre with three syllables & a big r instead of javyer' with two (& a half) syllables & a tapped r.

"yeah I bet" lmao

should have been the guy then it should have been the lawyer & then it was some rando.

Ryan eating a donut again <3 he's alive! & he is using a tissue to protect his hands<3 KR: haha, I'm just glad I'm out of the game. RC: The games are only beginning for you, my friend. KB: Hey, so what's up with your plus one? JR: Oh, it's on. That's all I'm saying.

marriage love marriage love wedding I can't believe it I'm so happy for him

[Esposito stands with a gorgeous woman taller than he is (at least in heels). Lanie enters with her doctor date.] JE: Lanie, hey. LP: Hello, Javier. This is Toby. TL: Pleased to meet you. JE: Yeah, you too. This is Jody. LP: Nice to meet you. Jody: Pleasure. Excuse me, I need to find the ladies' room. *Lanie watches Jody saunter off.* TL: Um, you two talk. I'll get us seats. LP: Thank you, Toby. JE: Toby, huh? LP: What do you mean, "Toby, huh"? JE: I don't know, you tell me. LP: You and I broke up two months ago. So, unless you thought I'd joined a convent, you need to take a step back. [Yeah bud two months is not "we just broke up" but it is a short amount of time in some ways] JE: So, you two serious now? LP: Yeah, we're serious. About dancing. [I loooove dancing, that's how ogdoch got together, I know plenty of people who aren't lovers but are dance partners, I love going to Métis fiddle dances, I can't wait to learn more swing, I've had enough salsa but I could always go for more, I have hade more than enough ballroom dancing but I wouldn't mind more as long as it's fun...] LP: That's why his boyfriend let me borrow him. Besides, I figured I'd need somebody to keep my company while you flirted with all of Jenny's sorority sisters. JE: Toby's boyfriend? *points back to the doctor* LP: And I seem to recall you here with the center for the New York Liberty. JE: She's my cousin. I heard you were coming with a date, so I thought I had to have somebody… you look great, you know. LP: Yeah, I know. JE: Can I show you to your seat? LP: That would be nice. *Lanie takes Esposito's arm and they enter the church.* they are so cute. I recently in my normal watch heard lanie mention the occasional booty call which I think is hilarious, & then a more recent ep was the valentine's ep & I think it was soooo cute.

they are not together? I can't believe it, caskett are too good together. Tho tb beckett doesn't look super great rn. He looks so happy! & she snaps a photo! Ohhhhhh uwu uwu they hug & kiss but then castle & esposito are so boring barely even shaking his hand He's getting married today! He is getting married to the love of his life (besides his other partner) & he is so happy & in love! becks preventing him from turning around esposito is one of the groomsmen I'm assuming on his right our left is nolan jenny's half brother but who the heck is the guy on the other side?

#castle 4x11 #castle 4x11 spoilers #castle s4 spoilers #castle 4x11 quote #ryan's marriage episode #the pickup artist episode #HE GOT MARRIED #I also can't stop thinking of him saying itis n't like we were exclusive

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tawnysoup · 2 years

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Really wanted to practice clothing folds today. Thank u Atem for being the guinea pig

#am i the only one who rly likes the white shirt look?#bless the person who made that duel disk 3D model i owe you my life #i struggle with clothing folds a lot but these came out alright 8^8 #atem #yami yugi #yugioh #ygo #my art

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yourmidnightlover · 4 years

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niagara falls pt.2

TW: smut, titty sucking, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, cream pie, oral (female receiving), multiple orgasms, and a bit of discussion about feelings and mushy gushy stuff

Summary - spencer uses this time to partially make up for his words to you, and you discuss your future with him.

WC - 3,838

you don’t rly need to read pt 1 to understand this... just know spencer’s making up for some things he said to you before you ran away to travel for a while.

masterlist

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"you're still wearing my sweater," spencer said as he met your collarbone with his antics, pushing it slightly off your shoulder so he had more room to work.

"i uhh- i am wea-wearing your sweater," you huffed out, your hand trailing back to his neck so you could pull him to your lips.

you both moved with a fervent you weren't aware you had until now. his hands moved from your waist to your jaw, tracing every inch of your body to commit it to memory.

"it looks better on you," he said against your lips, his hands moving down your back to your thighs, lifting them so you could wrap your legs around his waist.

"spencer!" you giggled at his sudden eagerness as he walked the two of you over to the bed, gently laying you down.

you started to remove the sweater yourself, only for spencer to stop you with his hands covering yours at the hem of his shirt.

"let me... please," he said before you nodded. he slowly drug the fabric up and off your torso, you leaned up so you could throw it over your head. "i've wanted to see you like this for as long as i can remember," he hummed before connected your lips once again, his hands finding your now bare waist underneath him, admiring how the white lace contrasted with your skin.

"please, spencer," you begged as your hips began to buck up, looking for any source of friction.

"i'm taking my time, princess," he moved a strand of hair out of your face softly. "let me worship you like you deserve," he whispered, wanting to take this moment as slow as he could as to make sure it's real.

he began kissing down your neck again, sucking on your collarbone to surely leave any marks he could. his mouth trailed down your body, meeting the tops of your breasts. he reached his arms around you to make contact with the clasp, looking into your eyes for approval.

"is this what you want?"

"yes. i-i want this... so much," you announced, allowing him to unclasp your bra and connect his lips with your breast.

he kissed the top slowly, going all around one of them while his hand began gently massaging the other. his tongue traced your nipple before his lips wrapped around it, sucking lightly. your hands found his hair and shoulder as he kept up this pattern with alternating between each breast, massaging and kissing and sucking.

the room began to fill with your moans and angelic noises, spencer found himself wishing he would live in this beautiful moment forever. you tugged gently on his hair, eliciting a moan from him this time, the vibrations carrying through to your chest.

"oh my god, spence," you praised. "i-it feels so good," you began to feel the pit of pleasure building in your stomach, much to your surprise.

you had heard about women who could orgasm from nipple stimulation, but you had never had a partner who was even willing to try. now you were rather curious...

"d-don't stop. please, please, please don't stop!" you begged as his free hand began massaging the breast his lips were working on.

your back arched off the bed, your hands pulled spencer impossibly close to your body, wanting to feel every inch of him against you. you felt spencer smiling against your breast but you didn't even care, the wave of pleasure rushing over you and hitting you like a cyclone.

"spencer! yes! fuuckk!" you yelled, still coming down from your high as spencer lead you through it.

"wow, y/n," spencer awed as he made his way back up your body. "i didn't know you'd be able to do that," he said with a smug grin on his face.

"i didn't either," you huffed out. "i mean, i've never really tried, but i had no idea."

"i'm glad i'm the one that figured it out with you then," he relished. "i'm going to be entirely focused on you... and your pleasure today," spencer admitted.

"why?" you were baffled at the admission.

you had been with two other guys sexually, and you could say that neither of them had ever been so... generous as to let you be the focus of attention. let alone give you more than one orgasm.

"did you seriously just ask me why?" he questioned. "let's just think of this as the beginning of my apology," he smirked, looking into your eyes with both lust and endearment.

"am i one lucky lady or what?" you giggled, a small grin plastered on your face caused by the man in front of you. "but what if i want to... help you out?"

"oh believe me..." he chuckled. "you're more than helping me out by just laying there... looking how you look," he smiled, eyeing your body up and down.

"okayyy," you rolled your eyes. "whatever you say, genius."

"good. because that's how this is going to work right now," he said, his personality switching to that of a dominant one.

his hands trailed down to the waistband of your pants. you lifted your hips to help him take them off. when he noticed your choice of white lace underwear, he found himself wishing he hadn't taken your bra off.

"fuck, y/n," he sighed out, absolutely smitten with everything about you. "it's like you're trying to kill me." he announced before making his lips attach to your torso, trailing down.

you didn't know what he was doing at first. to you, he was just kissing your stomach. but then you realized that he was trailing down to your heat, you got nervous.

"y-you don't have to uhm... do that," you said, leaning up on your forearms to see him more clearly.

"you mean..." he placed his hands on your lace clad hips, you nodded. "princess, i've dreamt of how you'd taste on my tongue. i'm not missing out on that now," he practically demanded.

if you truly didn't want to do that, you knew spencer would stop. you just didn't want him to do something he didn't want.

"oh, uhm... okay," you agreed, rather eager of how this would feel for you.

"has nobody ever eaten you out before?" he questioned. you pursed your lips together and bit your bottom one before shaking your head no. "the guys you've been with must be absolutely insane. are you okay if i do that?" you nodded your head yes. "words, princess," he moved his hand to cup your face. "i need words."

"yes. yes it's okay if you... eatmeout," you blushed at the admission.

"thank god," he laughed before slowly pulling your panties down your legs and throwing them off the bed.

he spread your bent legs so he could place himself between them, his arms wrapped around your thighs and meeting back around your heat, spreading your pussy lips.

"fuuck... your pussy's so fucking pretty," he said, a finger trailing up your soaking slit. "and wet," he smirked.

your head leaned back as your body was still propped up on your forearms, a small moan leaving your mouth from the little contact he's made.

when your head tilted back up, he made eye contact with you as his tongue made a flat swipe up your pussy, collecting some of your juices.

"mmmm," you moaned, already enjoying the feeling of his tongue on your body.

"i could say the same, princess," he smiled widely. "you taste better than any meal i've had in ages," he admitted a with a grin before focusing on you again.

he pushed his tongue into your hole gently, tasting the inside of you, going in and out in a pattern before moving his tongue further up. he flicked it over your clit, over and over and over, your moans vibrating out into the room only spurring him on even more.

your hand found his hair, pushing him closer to your heat, your hips moving in a way to get more friction. he wrapped his lips around your clit before gently sucking it between his teeth, his tongue still moving back and forth over it.

"yes! just like that! yes!!" you exclaimed, your hand still pushing him closer to you.

he moved one of his hands from around your thighs and slowly entered a finger to your heat, sending your head flying back in pleasure.

"fuck!"

he began pushing his finger in and out of your pussy, curling them once they entered about two inches, adding another after he felt you were ready.

"right there! right fucking there, spencer! yes!" you cried out, tugging gently on his curls, a moan rippling through his body right onto your clit. "i'm so close! i'm so fucking close! please don't stop! please..." you trailed off as he became more aggressive in his actions.

he began pumping his fingers in and out at an impossible pace, still curling them at that soft rigid spot inside you. his tongue began flicking even quicker, sending you right over the edge into a pit of euphoria, your pussy clenching around his long fingers.

"spencer fucking reid! yes!!" you threw your head back as his eyes never left your face. "oh my god..." you said as he worked you through your orgasm.

you leaned up completely, looking at him in complete awe from how the man just made you feel. you placed your hands on both sides of his face, crashing his lips into yours. you could taste yourself on him as your tongues met.

when he pulled back, he wiped his chin from your juices and sucked them off of his fingers, never breaking eye contact from you.

"yea they were really missing out on that," spencer said with a wide grin.

"i think i've been missing out. and i'm also very aware about how... naked i am and how clothed you are," you raised your eyebrows suggestively. spencer just stared at you. "please, babes?" you asked with puppy dog eyes and pursed lips. spencer's heart welled at the nickname.

"since you asked so nicely," he said, connecting you lips once more as your arms went to his chest, beginning to unbutton hit shirt one by one. when you got halfway down, you felt his breath hitch, he was nervous.

"spencer... what is it?" you pulled back slowly, looking into his eyes. he began to close himself off, not looking you in the eyes. "you're feeling insecure," you stated, your hands finding his face again to meet his eyes with yours. "you, spencer walter reid, are the most attractive man i've probably ever laid eyes on. your eyes, your lips," you kissed him. "your hair," you ran a hand through his locks. "and your body," you traced his torso with your hands feather lightly.

"i'm just... not as muscular as your past boyfriends. i don't... i don't look like other guys you've been with," he sighed, looking back at his hands in his lap.

"spencer. you just made me orgasm twice in the past what? twenty minutes?" you baffled. "my past boyfriends have had trouble making me do that even once. you... are unbelievable," you complimented, ending it with a deep kiss. "besides, even if you were the ugliest guy on earth, i'd still love you and be attracted to you because you're you."

"thank you, y/n. i love you, too," he kissed the tip of your nose. "now... back to you," he said, placing a hand on the small of your back to lay you down, him hovering over you.

"such a gentleman," you said, finishing undoing his buttons as he shrugged the shirt off. "absolutely beautiful, spence."

it's not like you haven't seen his body before. you've been best friends for as long as you could remember and have seen him in nothing but a towel before. then again, you haven't seen him like that in this kind of setting before.

and spencer knows you don't care about that. he knows that you'd never judge him from his looks or his body, but he wants to be good enough for you, which is a major contradiction to the fact that he believes that nobody will ever deserve you.

he began fervently kissing you again, his tongue delving into your mouth with a hunger that couldn't ever be satiated. your hands traced the stubble on his face as his were propped at your head to keep him from falling over. you moved one of your hands to begin undoing the button on his pants eagerly, a chuckle emitting from him.

once you got it undone, he helped you pull both his pants and underwear down, leaving his bare erection against your thigh.

"oh," you said with a sly grin, a hand reaching down to begin stroking his length, a low moan leaving his mouth as your lips found his.

you quickly rolled the two of you over to put yourself on top. you straddled his hips on all fours, trailing kisses down his cheek, jaw, neck, torso, making your way to his rock hard cock.

you took his length in your hands, eyeing the noticeable length to it. he was perfect. he was long, but not too long to where it would kill you to take him, and thick, but not so thick that he would stretch you beyond belief.

you placed a gentle kiss to the tip which was already leaking with precum. you found the most prominent vein in his member before tracing it with your tongue, being sure to use light touches.

spencer was already squirming in the bed, in disbelief from the wonders your mouth could do already. lowly sighs and moans were leaving his mouth periodic with your movements.

you slowly lowered your mouth on his cock, paying special attention to the tip as you got further down. you moved your mouth up and down at a slow pace, keeping your eyes on spencer and how beautiful he looked with his slower breaths.

eventually, he couldn't stand just being inside your mouth. he wanted to be even closer to you. inside of you. he took hold of your jaw and pulled you back up his body, taking your lips in his.

"you're fucking amazing," spencer sighed into your mouth, taking note of the smile he felt against his own lips.

"yea?" he nodded as he smashed your lips together again before flipping the two of you over. you grabbed his hard cock and lined him up with your entrance.

"are you sure you want this?" spencer asked with care, stroking the hair on the side of your face.

"yes. yes i want it," you nodded eagerly.

spencer slowly entered his member into you, taking pleasure from the way your face contorted in pleasure. he took his time to fully sheath himself into you, allowing you the time you needed to adjust to his length.

you moved one hand to his shoulder and the other to the back of his head as your mouth formed in the shape of an 'o'.

"oh my god, spencer," your fingernails dug into the skin on his back as your other hand tugged on his hair harshly.

"fuck... you're tight, princess," he said as he began to slowly move out of you, only leaving the tip in before thrusting back inside, leading a moan from your mouth.

"i-i..." you trialed off, unable to speak from the pleasure you were feeling. "i... ohh,"" you mumbled.

"does it feel good? yea?" he asked you, one of his hands grasping your breast and massaging it gently. you couldn't say anything, you were speechless. you laid there with your mouth ajar as his thrusts continued at a leisurely pace. "can you not say anything? does my dick render you speechless, princess?" he teased.

"uh... huh," you squeaked as his mouth latched onto your nipple, his pace steadily increasing. "s-spen... ohhhh," you awed, feeling the pit in your stomach welling up again.

"fuck you feel so good," he mumbled on your breast as his hand began to gently and quickly circle your clit.

so many things were going on at once; the clitoral stimulation, the penetration, the nipple stimulation. you felt an overwhelming sense of pleasure rising up inside of you.

before you knew it, you were falling over the waterfall of pure ecstasy, taking spencer over the water with you.

spencer continued his thrusts a few more times, relishing in the way your pussy clenched around his member. you felt the spread of his own excitement cover your walls, a sensation you never want to forget as long as you lived.

"fuck..." spencer breathed out.

"mmhmm," you agreed, still unable to form a sentence from the pleasure you just experienced.

spencer slowly pulled out of you, trying his best not to hurt your still sensitive body. you held onto his torso, not wanting to separate your body from his.

"i'm going to carry you to the bathroom to clean you up. okay, princess?" spencer asked kindly, wiping your hairline that had a sheen of sweat built up.

"mmkay," you mumbled, wrapping your legs around him so he could pick you up koala style.

he set you down on the closed toilet, being sure to grab a clean washcloth and get it damp with warm water. he bent down on the floor in front of you, allowing your hands to grasp his shoulders for more stability.

he ran the washcloth over the trail of liquid running down your legs, being sure to use a gently touch once he got closer to your core. he ran the cloth over it softly, noticing the way your fingers dug into his back from the touch, the low hiss that exited through your nose.

"sorry, y/n/n. we just need to make sure you're all clean," he apologized, pulling back to look into your tired eyes. "uhm, you should probably use the restroom in order to avoid getting a uti," spencer informed you.

"never change, spencer reid. never change," you giggled, taking a deep breath in order to help your breathing. "and you're very right about those uti's. i should really go pee now," you looked into his eyes, him still not moving. "which means privacy, spence," you giggled, once again, noticing the smile that appeared onto his face.

"right," he laughed, patting your knee before standing back up and exiting the bathroom.

you did your business, and washed your hands before exiting the bathroom with a smile. you walked out of the bathroom, finding spencer in nothing but his boxers, sitting on the bed. you walked over to the bed and sat on spencer's lap, your knees bent and placed on the bed, straddling his legs.

spencer's arms hugged your torso, his eyes tried to avoid your still naked state. your hands went around his body, underneath his arms and bringing him into a tight hug.

"i'm sorry i ran away, spence. i should've talked to you about how that made me feel," you whispered into his ear.

"no, you shouldn't be sorry. i'm sorry. i knew about you past and i still said those thing to you," spencer sighed as his arms grip slightly tightened on you. "you drank because of me, y/n. i-i can't ever tell you how sorry i am for that."

"i know you're sorry, spence. i know," you breathed in his scent, relishing in the smell of sex and fresh laundry that remained on him. "maybe we could go to niagara falls together tomorrow?" you leaned back to look him in the eyes, taking note of his smile. "y'know, since we originally wanted to go to these places together anyway?"

"i uhm," spencer laughed, "i would love to, y/n."

"yaayyy!" you squealed, connecting your lips together passionately, managing to knock spencer over, him now laying on the bed. "i'm excited!!"

"me too. i can't wait," he smiled, moving a strand of your hair out of your face.

spencer still couldn't believe you loved him. he couldn't believe how lucky he was. you were perfect in every way, shape, and form.

the way you knew that after a tough case, he wouldn't want to talk about it. you would just hold him, and let him fall asleep on his chest.

the way you laughed at his terrible jokes, even if you didn't fully understand it. you tried your best to make him feel normal, and you succeeded in making him feel normal.

the way you listened to his rambling when he found something fascinating. you would always go up to him after the rest of the team shushed him, and asked him to continue what he was saying.

and your beauty was unprecedented to him. your bone structure that looked magnificent in every kind of light, every curve on your body - even the ones you were insecure about, the squinting of your eye when you laugh... everything.

"you okay, smartypants?" you asked, rolling off of his body and laying beside him. you propped your arm up so your head could rest in your hand as you looked at spencer.

"yea, i'm all good," the brown haired man said, turning to face you on his side. he draped his hand over your waist, bringing your body closer to his. "i'm just glad i'm here with you."

"i'm glad you're here too," you smiled, hugging him in return. "can we go to sleep now? i'm too tired to do anything right now," you giggled.

it was now dark outside, your hotel room window being able to display the darkness in a way that made it look like a beautiful painting. it was full of bright stars of different hues, pink, gold, and white, the moon shone into the window, perfectly illuminating the sculptures of the buildings outside the room.

"of course we can. anything you want, bubs," he grinned brightly. "i have one request to make," he began with a sly smile.

"you wanna lay on my chest?" you chuckled as he nodded eagerly. you opened your arms for him to lay on you. "come here, ya big baby."

spencer snuggled up into your arms, your bare chest acting like the best pillows in the world in his mind. you ran your hands through his hair as he nuzzled further into your embrace.

"do you think it'll be like this when we get back home?" spencer asked with a sense of yearning.

"umm, i don't know," and you didn't know. you didn't know if this is what life would be like with him. you didn't know if you were even ready for a life with him. "it could be, i suppose," you shrugged.

spencer picked up on the nerves the question brought you. the way your breath picked up and your heart rate sped slightly.

"i-is this what you want? u-us, i mean?" he wearily asked, afraid of what your answer might be.

"i've loved you for a long time, spence," you took a deep breath. "i just wish we didn't have to worry about the bureau or about the team and what they'd think."

"so let's not care what they think. we love each other... shouldn't that be enough?"

"it is enough. i promise," you kissed the top of his forehead. "i do want us."

"good," spencer smiled against your body. "goodnight, y/n. i love you."

"i love you."

#spencer reid #spencer x reader #spencer #spencer x you #spence #smut #spencer reid smut #smutty spencer #dom!spencer #fluff

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lustbile · 3 years

Note

Did you see the picture of Johnny on the Slow Acid account that got posted yesterday? The white teeshirt and his long hair and the fucking smirk? Do you realize how hard of a time I am having trying to stop myself from sliding into those DMs??? Sir please you are SO fine and I think by law you are required to be fucking and having GOOD sex when you are that attractive. And like, if you’re not, we’ll then… I volunteer as tribute 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

Sry im just like , so fucking jorny rn I don’t rly know what to do about it, like the brain rot is REAL… god I can’t stop thinking about trying to tease johnny by wearing lacy lingerie (personally I wear all like fancy-ish matching sets bc having my panties match my bra makes me feel powerful and extremely fuckable) and like, lightly flashing what you’re wearing under a rather nondescript outfit, and watching him just like, lose his mind silently. Like out to dinner with his friends and you get his attention when no one else is looking and just pulling back your shirt to reveal the top of your bra and being a total brat… he would absolutely get you back for it once you got home too, stripping you down and edging you, maybe even only touching you over the lace, “baby you seemed so proud of it, why would I want to take it off you? What’s that? You want me to touch you properly? Hmm that’s too bad….” FNDKFENSND I need him to just, either fuck me or let me rest , can I please have brain rot about someone else what iS THIS MESS

god yes I did see it and like him and his hair and his everything like he is probably one of the very few men I genuinely feel like I can label as a dreamboat lmao. and like that and his like interests he’s so old Hollywood kind of romance so the matching lingerie and teasing at dinner sounds like you just plucked something straight from his wet dream I stg. he’s just seems so cocky and hot but like he’d be totally whipped as hell for who he’s with ugh a Man™

#im jorny brain rot 24/7 so I feel this #literally was just going on about how sexy he is with all his love for coffee and wine and old cameras to my friend #cause oof god husband material I’m a little obsessed #nct smut #Johnny smut #ask

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fushigidane · 4 years

Text

a list of misconceptions about bnha i have gained and held for years by only ever reading the manga: a series

(because after 2+ years of mainly reading the manga (i only ever watched the anime w friends, and that was only a few eps here and there) i started properly watching the anime very recently and my entire world has been reshaped)

- i thought uraraka was blonde. for the longest time. her hair isn’t shaded in the manga so i just... assumed?? and then got HELLA whiplash when i realised she was actually brunette (not even from the manga, it was from some uraraka/bakugo fanart where they had a colour palette swap and i was like “why is bakugo brunette— oh. oh.”)

- i don’t know what colour i expected hawks’ wings to be but i did not ever consider red

- the mic in present mic is pronounced like microphone? i’ve been pronouncing it like mick for over 2 years. what the fuck. why didn’t i realise that the dude who has a voice quirk, who has a radio show, who JUMPS at the chance to get behind a microphone and commentate would take their name from microphone. why am i like this

- ...i thought endeavor had black hair. YES i knew that todoroki shouto had half-white-half-red hair. YES i knew that half of it came from his mother and half of it came from his father. NO i did NOT ever question how a dude with black hair created a kid with red hair like these facts sat in my mind, blatantly contradicting one another for years, but i didnt even consider the possibility that that was the case

- i have terrible reading comprehension ESPECIALLY when it comes to manga (why did i ever decide to not watch the anime) so when the compress face reveal happened i was like. ok who tf is this dude. now i have seen the anime i appreciate him bc his orange shirt is snazzy af

- overhaul, however, lost ALL respect i had for him the moment i saw him in colour, like— you’re rly out here pairing green and purple???? green and purple?????? he looked 10000000x better in black and white

- ok this is more an observation than a misconception but like it’s so weird hearing the characters have actual voices. especially when they’re VAs i am very familiar with from other series. on one hand i like that so many are familiar but on the other i HATE it bc i literally pause the show every 2 minutes to google where i know the voice. i also hate that all might and sir nighteye are team rocket giovanni and james respectively (in jp)

- i have been pronouncing SO many names wrong for YEARS (not just present mic) but will i change how i say iida? no. thank you.

- no no no like literally. i thought endeavor had black hair since i started reading the manga in mid-2018. i literally have a picture of me, in june last year, putting the middle finger up to a pic of endeavor—who, in the pic, is DEFINITELY red-headed if you look closely enough—and i did not know he had red hair. Why am I Like This

there may be more to come. i will rb if i remember any more dumb shit i’ve thought about his series. ty for reading

#i needed a list #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia

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secretly-tword-obsessed · 4 years

Text

Aaron Bu...Oh boy

Hello lovelies! This is the first part of my ‘Alternate ending to Hamilton songs’ series. Hope you enjoy!

Fandom: Hamilton

Ship: Hamburr

The guy was cuter than he’d expected. Okay, that might be a bit of an understatement. The guy was more devilishly handsome and adorable than he’d expected. There, thats a better description.

The guy was shorter than Alexander, and had a little round face with large eyes and lips. He wore a simple outfit; a dark purple coat, a white shirt and high-risen pants. And he was muttering something under his breath, just standing there motionless, as if waiting for something. Alexander was not too familiar with such a stance, he never waited, not for a thing. He was far too active and productive to wait. I mean, what was the point? Why wait when he could act?

He approached the man, first checking that he had the right guy.

“Pardon me-”

The man turned around with an intrigued look on his face. Alexander’s heart beat sped up, and he felt his palms getting sweaty. He had never seen a cuter man in his life.

“Are you Aaron Burr, sir?”

Burr chuckled: “That depends, who’s asking?”

Ah, so he had a sense of humour to. And the most cheeky adorable gorgeous smile imaginable. Great.

“Oh sure sir, I’m Alexander Hamilton, I’m at your service sir. I have been looking for you”.

Crap, perhaps that last comment sounded creepy. Jeez, it was hard enough for him to have discussions like this in the first place, but the fact that the man was cute made it ten times harder.

But Burr just kept smiling. Oh, that smile. “I’m getting nervous”.

“Sir!”, Alexander interrupted, “I heard your name at Princeton, I was seeking an accelerated course of-”

“Sorry, what was that? Please slow down”, Burr said, a trace of nerves in his eyes too.

Slow, how slow? Slow-motion snail-slow? If he made that joke, would Burr laugh? Well, here goes...

“I heaaaaarrrdd yooooouuurrr naaaaaammmmeee”

Burr chuckled. Again. That chuckle.

“Haha, very funny”

“Your not easily amused I see”, Alexander joked.

“I am amused, but only mildly”, Burr stated, “Continue”.

“Well, uh, I, uh, heard your name at Princeton”

“Are you okay?”, Burr asked tentatively, stepping closer to Alexander. He could see all of Burr’s features more clearly now, like his scruffy eyebrows, and he felt like he could melt. Was the sweat running down his forehead showing?

“Yeah”, Alex responded, “I’m fine, your just a bit hot. Crap! I mean, it’s just a bit hot”.

Kiss.

Peck. Smooch. Emotion-backed. Right in the centre of Alexander’s cheek.

Burr’s lips may have been big, but they were delicate against his rough skin.

Burr smiled brightly as he departed, “I think your hot to, Hamilton”.

Alexander blushed, if he wasn’t blushing before, he was now, “What was that for?”

“I’m very good at reading social cues”, Burr said with a shrug, “I knew you had a crush on me from the moment you looked at me. In fact, I think anyone would’ve known”.

Alexander shook his head, how?

Burr could see the man’s confusion, and found it quite cute. The man was quite cute in general. He had a soothing voice and a shaky posture, and the most beautiful eyes Burr had ever seen.

Alexander kissed his lips, and he returned the kiss. The sun shone bright in the sky. Both Burr and Alex believed in miracles at this point.

When they departed from their second intimate action, Burr let Alexander know everything in his mind. Alex responded with everything in his mind. They stared at each other for a few seconds.

“Do you, uh, consider this a long term relationship?”, Alexander asked.

“I sure hope so Hamilton!”, Burr remarked, “I wouldn’t have kissed you unless I saw definite potential!”

“You-you can call me Alex”, Alexander stuttered, wondering how on Earth Burr was keeping so calm in this situation.

Burr tilted his head a bit, “How about Hammy?”.

Alexander chuckled, “Sure”.

”Okay than, Hammy”, Burr said, leaning forward to lightly kiss Hammy’s neck.

Hamilton giggled and jumped back, “Be careful Burr! I’m ti-”

He stoped when he saw the spark in Burr’s eyes.

“Your what, Hammy?”, Burr asked inquisitively, his eyes glistening.

Hamilton shook his head, “Uh, nothing”.

Burr smiled, “Did you know, Hammy, that I have a catch phrase?”.

Hamilton raised his brows, wondering where Burr was going with this. “Um, no. What is it?”.

Burr took a step closer to Ham, “Talk less”

Hamilton tilted his head in confusion, “Okay?”

Burr smiled brighter and got up on his tiptoes, and whispered faintly in Hamilton’s ear: “Smile more”.

With that, he dug his fingers into Hamilton’s side. Hamilton burst out laughing, the biggest smile on his face.

“Wow!”, Burr said, “You were right, you ARE ticklish. But no, not just ticklish. I’d say, very ticklish”.

Hamilton somehow managed to squirm out of Burr’s grip, “Not fuhunny!”

Burr just grinned smugly at him, “I’ll give you ten seconds to run”

Ten seconds? That was far too generous. There would be no way Burr would catch up if Hamilton even had a five second head start, but ten seconds, jeez! Wondering what on Earth the adorable munchkin was planning, he ran.

Somehow, a civilised greeting had turned into this. A game of chase. Although, Hamilton definitely didn’t mind. He felt careless and free as he ran, wind gushing though his hair.

And after about fifteen seconds of running, he felt an unfamiliar long arm wrap around his torso. The arm tackled him gently onto the grassy ground. When he looked up, a freckled boy with bushy hair, who looked about his age, was staring down at him.

“John Laurens”, he said with a grin, “Pleasure to meet you”.

“Wha-?”

He saw three other men run behind him. One had a muscly figure and a strong expression, one was skinny and had curly hair tied up in a bun, and the third was Aaron Burr.

“Maquis de’Lafayette”, the skinny man said in a thick French accent, “But just call me Lafayette”

“I’m Herc”, said the muscly one, “We’re all friends of Burr’s”.

“So”, Laurens said, turning to Burr, “Why have we tackled him anyway?”

Burr smirked, “Oh, I think he knows”. Burr crouched down beside Hamilton, the cheekiest look on his face. “Hammy, why do you think Iv’e ordered these men to tackle you, huh?”

Hamilton gulped, and his cheeks went pink, “I, uh, I don’t know Burr”

“You honestly have no idea?” Burr asked in a slightly teasing tone.

“Nup”, Hamilton confirmed, “No idea”.

Burr grinned, “Liar”.

He dug his finger into Hamilton’s ribs. Hamilton instantly tossed his head back, and began laughing.

Mulligan, realising what was going on, leaned down to pin Hamilton’s arms above his head. The other two men just watched in amusement and delight.

“No-Heheheheherc!”, Hamilton cried, attempting to kick his legs out but failing as Herc held them down.

Burr wiggled his fingers under Hamilton’s arms. His laughter ticked up a pitch, “Nohohoho!”

“Your so cute Hammy”, Burr teased, seeing how flustered it made his new boyfriend, “Uh tickle tickle tickle. Uh tickle tickle tickle”

Hamilton was so red with flusteredness and laughter, but Burr knew that the man was fine. In fact....

“You know what I think, Hammy?”, Burr asked as he went down to squeeze Hamilton’s knee.

“Ohohoh shihihiht nohohot thahahaht!”

Burr gasped and put a hand to his heart, “Language!” He squeezed tighter and spidered his right hand fingers around the upper leg. Hamilton lost it, an ear to ear grin plastered on his face.

“Well, as I said earlier, I am very good at picking up small social details”, Burr stated, as if there wasn’t a squirmy, giggly mess below him, “And I have noticed that you, Hamilton, correct me if I’m wrong, are actually enjoying this”.

If Hamilton wasn’t red before, he certainly was now. And Burr’s words only heightened the ticklish feeling.

“Nohohoho I dohohohn’t!”

Burr lifted his hands up, looking down and observing the mess below him. He gestured for Herc to get up, and he leaned down to plant a light kiss on Hamilton’s forehead.

“Oh, don’t be so sappy Burr!”, Laurens whined with a chuckle, “Hamilton, if you want to get him back, his worst spot is his neck”.

Burr swung his head around instantly, “What?! Laurens, why you little-”

Burr was interrupted by his own short giggle as Hamilton leaned up and lightly tickled his neck. Burr looked down at Hamilton in horror.

“Oh my dog Burr, that was so cute!”, he stated with the biggest shine in his eyes.

Burr jumped off Hamilton instantly, making a run for it. Hamilton stood up and laughed with the other three.

“Perhaps this would be a better time for me to get further aquatinted with you”, Hamilton said. Lafayette just chuckled, “I’m from France, happy now?” “No time!” Laurens cried, “Burr is getting away!” And with that, the four men set out on there first adventure together, there common goal: finding Burr and tickling him to pieces.

#ticklish!hamilton #hamilton tickle fic #hamburr #ler!burr #ticklefic #lee!hamilton #ticklish!alexander

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reblogcentre-2 · 3 years

Text

tw for: sh & trans stuff & blood & auto-surgery

So you asked about my experience with auto-surgery. I actually wrote a vent fanfiction so I copy-pasted it & added more notes & stuff. The notes I added after are in ((here)) & the rest of it is my vent fanfic. The fanfic is p much accurate to the experience & any inaccuracies are pointed out ((in the)) notes.

I've dreamt about this before, but I never thought I would actually do it. It's completely an impulse decision. Well maybe not completely. I have the sense to find supplies first. Like a pack of razor blades. ...And scissors, toilet paper, rubbing alcohol, ice packs, a needle and thread, and a glass of water to keep me hydrated. I may be making a stupid decision, but I'll at least do it right.

I sit on the floor of my room, and take off my shirt. While holding an ice pack under my… on my chest ((don’t wanna say boobs)), I tie some fabric around my waist so there’s no bloody mess I have to clean. ((didn't work.)) Damn this ice pack is so cold, it almost hurts. Though, that's a good thing. It means my nerves will be numb.

Right.

I look around at my setup in confusion, I've lost my train of thought, ((adhd)) what am I doing what next- Ah, razor.

A thin piece of metal, flexible, yet strong. It doesn't glint in the artificial light. It's a matte metallic grey. I pick up my little prize, and having sanitized ((sadly not sterilized tho)) it in the alcohol and let it dry, letting down the ice pack. I bring it to the underside of my chest- but I can't see it. Disappointment. I put it down.

I need to get my fat ugly breast out of the way. Then it occurs to me- tape! ((I shoplifted this tape)) I use the tape to pull my chest up and back so I can see underneath it, or as much as I can, considering the size of it.

Now, I take up my razor. I remember reading about this one lady who gave herself a cesarean section with three long slices of a kitchen knife. She was a Mexican butcher. ((k so she had to go to the hospital after to get her intestines re-arranged I think. Also, this is what I would ask you to do, If I’m numb I won’t feel it so you can just boom three long swipes with a nice sharp chef’s knife & boom my boob is gone.))

Taking a deep breath, bracing myself for what's to come, I put the razor to my skin and pull. But I don't pull. I lift. I was too afraid, too cowardly to actually try. ((this is why I want someone else to do it)) Thankful to have lost some sensation from binding, I replace the ice pack and breathe again. Ok. I've got this. This is good. This is ok.

I lift the ice pack again, and this time I test my skin slightly. I… can't feel it. At least, not much. So, with the tape pulling back the offending tissue, I use my right hand to swipe across my left chest. It's barely a scratch. I try it again, this time closing my eyes before opening and doing the cut. It's much faster this time, and slightly deeper. How did she do it in three slices with her kitchen knife?

The blood is warm, and it drips down my chest. I unravel some tissue to dab at the blood. Then I make another cut, following inside the first, deepening it.

Yes.

I can't easily reach all the way across the bottom, so I'll have to settle for my scar being slightly on the inside. ((I can legit send a pic of the scar if you’re comfy with that)) I wipe the blood, then replace the ice pack. I need some more freezing. In a moment, I get back to it with the razor.

I can sometimes feel the pain, but I try to ignore it, or freeze it away. I keep slicing, wiping, and icing my chest. ((ok so only the skin felt painful & if you’re good, you can get thru the skin rly fast with the knife)) All the way until I see something unusual.

That's not skin.

That's… something.

Subdermal fat maybe? ((I had seen this already, but this was written as a vent fanfiction)) I keep going with the razor, another slash or two. Then I take hold of my scissors. ((oh the scissors were shit)) I can pinch my loose-from-binding skin to make a slight fold where I can use the scissors. So I do.

I use the scissors to open up the hole wider, ((idk if I actually did a lot of this or only a little bc scissors were painful af)) and I can see the fat in it. It's lumpy and greasy.

I'm disgusting.

It's a yellowish ((in culinary, the paler the fat the healthier the deer/animal. I think it might have just been discoloured from the blood. Btw there was no blood in the fat bc fat doesn’t have caapillaries)) white, made up of little bubbles, or maybe they just look that way because of the mutilation I'm committing. It's covered in red blood, so it looks more of an orange pink.

My gash is about 10cm long, maybe less. Probably less. ((I can measure if u want)) I use the scissors on the fat under the skin, and surprisingly, I can't feel it. I wipe up the blood, ready to strike again, but when I pick up the scissors I've bled again. I wipe again, pick up the scissors again, and prepare to slice again, again; but like last time there is too much blood. ((ugh I remember this, it was so annoying & my rag was already blood soaked))

I try to wipe it up enough to continue with my surgery, but I keep bleeding. and my ice packs are getting warm. ((I had to ask my brother to get me another ice pack but he brought me one that was only partially frozen))

So…

Shower.

I can do this in the shower.

I'm covered in blood, but the water would wash it away, keep it clean, moist, prevent it from clotting, and the cold water could provide numbing. Yes. I'm a genius. Shifting my pins-and-needles legs, I gather all the supplies I can carry, and peek my head around the corner. Nobody is coming.

Perfect.

I dash through the hallway, and my supplies are dumped on the washroom counter.

What do I do now? I… turn on the tap.

The cold water is uncomfortable, but I lean my body down, supporting my weight on either end of the tub, so that the water only runs along my chest. I tense as it cools the flesh. Then I step out of the shower, thankful that only my chest is wet, and try to keep on, but it’s so bloody. ((I remember thinking it literally looked like a murder scene. I was a Sherlock fan t the time))

It would make perfect sense to just bring my tools into the shower with me. I bring in two of my sharpest razors and my scissors, as well as one ice pack. ((I didn’t want the water to warm up the ice)) I run the cold shower over my laceration again, numbing it more, and once I’m done with that, I take my scissors and I put them inside.

Repeat repeat repeat. ((ok I think here is where I try to separate my skin from my breast tissue? I got such bad bruises bc I didn’t manage to take it all out))

Soon, I’m done separating the skin and extending the opening up a little higher. I keep rinsing the blood, the water runs down my entire body at this point, but I’m used to the cold.

I use my scissors to cut in deeper, I can’t feel it in the mammary fat at all. The scissors are opened and closed in rhythm, without being taken out of me between snips, and I reveal something that looks less like skin, and less like the bubbly pale fat. It might be a mammary gland- I’m not sure. It’s a different texture though, and-

Ouch! I can feel that! Damned fuck! I mean heck! ((I think I legit tried to not swear. I hurt a lot to cut that part. If it’s just done in one swipe tho it wouldn’t be as bad))

I water my wound again. I can’t have my body in pain. Just a few more seconds of cold water, and I can get back to it. Or maybe I should use my ice pack too… The ice pack helps freeze whatever that thing is, so I can cut through it with my scissors.

I’ve made a thick cut now, but I’ve seen surgeries before, I’ve watched so many videos of top surgeries, even some full surgery videos. I know what to do.

So I take my razor from the soap-bench in the wall and run it between the skin and my tissue until I get enough space for my scissors. ((oh! no- here’s the part where I separate the skin & get bruising)) My scissors go right between them, opening and closing as I move them around under my skin. I can see my skin stretch around them, like seeing someone’s legs under a blanket.

Now that I have it separated, I could maybe cut out an entire chunk. I rinse my scissors under the shower, and put them down on the floor of the tub, then I look down.

I’m covered in blood.

I open the shower door and look in the mirror across from me. It looks like a murder scene. There, my skin held apart by tape, a gaping slash under my- my breast, blood drips coming down from it, blood spread all over my torso from the water, blood in the hole in my body, ((yes a hole in my body, kinda wish I took a pic)) blood bright red from being mixed with the water, blood clotting on my belly. I made jokes about some things looking like murder scenes before, like when working with food colouring.

Oh how I was wrong.

This is what a murder scene looks like. I’m so bloody. Part of me wants to take a picture, ((lol I was just thinking this!)) but oh hell (I mean heck) that would be messed up. As though I’m not already messed up!

Well I can’t stare, I have work to do. Work. I close the shower door, and bend down to pick up my ice pack, but I need to be careful, I don’t want to disturb my broken chest.

Numbing my chest again, I continue with this routine, pulling out chunks of my own body and flushing them down my shower drain like the serial killer I read about a little while ago. ((I don’t remember much about the chunks. It might have been less chunks than I’m making it sound. I have memory problems so : / ))

At some point I look in the mirror again, and I’m almost disgusted at what I’ve done.

My family probably needs to use the washroom, I’ve probably been showering for an hour now, they might get suspicious.

The smell is metallic & meaty, almost fishy even.

Thankfully, when I look down at my chest, it seems like I might be slightly smaller than before. ((not rly. It partially looked that way bc of the tape)) It definitely looks smaller than the one on my right. I haven’t been using my ice pack much lately. The blue liquid in the plastic pack has lost most of its cold.

I rinse off my less sharp scissors and razor, and spray all of the leftover bubbles of fat and drops of blood down the drain, trying to get the bloody footprints and handprints ((I forgot I made hand/foot prints!! If I had forgotten them mum could have walked in to pee & seen bloody handprints lol)) from the edges of the tub where I supported myself before getting used to the completely cold shower. I rinse off my torso, too now. Blood is strewn all over it, and some has dripped down to my legs, which has now dried. As soon as I rinse it off, I bleed some more. Ah. Well.

Onto the burgundy red floor towel I step, and I try my best to dry off my bloody chest and abdomen, but of the two rags I have, one of them is wet from taking it into the shower, and the other is already soaked with blood. Neither can help. I do my best nonetheless, and decide I should move on to stitches.

I know how to sew, and I’ve gotten stitches before, I should be able to do them. ((irl I had only gotten stitches once & I already gave myself stitches once))

But I can’t find my needle, ((yeah I just couldn’t find my needle when I moved from my room to the washroom)) and the water hasn’t numbed my skin enough. Inside my body, in the fat, I can’t feel it, but, seemingly, I would still be able to feel it if I were to perform my own stitches.

Alrighty then, I can just tape myself together until I dry. But the tape won’t stick. ((ugh this was so annoying! I literally used all of my skin tape)) Neither will the bandaids. I have no sewing needle. I don’t know what to do, crap! I don’t know how to fix this! The tape won’t stick! Screw this fucking hell! I mean hecking heck!

Eventually, I go to my room. I put on my faux binder. It’s an old bra with a piece of fabric of my measurements sewed on the inside to compress my chest, the bra is just for the straps. Over that loose and torn excuse for a binder, I put on bra after bra, binding my semi-detached chest down so that I might be able to sleep without causing more damage.

I have a.. A thing tomorrow. ((practice for my baking competition)) I can go to the hospital a few blocks away from my school ((20 minute walk)) and get stitches there. Maybe they’ll even say I need to get top surgery an’ the gover’ment will pay for it. Yeah that’d be nice. I can jus’ wai’ ‘ntil tomorrow... and tomorrow I can take more ibe- ibu- ibupropen- ibuprofen... ((I wrote like this for the dramatic effect in the vent fic)) I can't take any more t’day. I’ll just go to sleep now n’ then I’ll wake up for school and when mom... asks me whaveter she asks I'll just tell her I have carpentry, and I'll tell the instructor that I’m not working today. ((irl I went to culinary, then told my teacher “actually I’m going to pick up my supplies to practice with & skidaddle”)) He’ll unsterdand, it’s not like I have school, it's the teacher’s comvemtion, I’m not obligated to stay, I can lust jeave. Mum will be none the wiser. Yah. Sleepy time. Hospital tomorrow.

((so yeah. I go to sleep & ppl always say they can’t sleep on their sides so I tried that but I couldn’t handle it so I slept on my side while hugging a pillow to make sure nothing fell. I’m shaking too. Tbh I was just thinking “I’ve been in the bathroom for an hour or more, why has nobody knocked asking to brush their teeth?” I wake up the next day & put on a button-up shirt bc ppl say they can’t lift their arms, I practice walking on google maps to the hospital, then mom drives me to school. I had my learner’s license but I didn’t want to drive bc of my injury. I go in, I tell Chef I’m leaving, he’s cool abt it. So now I’m loaded up with a huge backpack, it’s february in canada & I forgot a jacket (bc I was driving in a warm car to a warm school & busy planning other things), I also brought my fiddle bc I waited for 4 hours last time & was bored, & I have a huge toolbox & a tub of fondant. I walk 20 minutes to the hospital, get in, & I need to change from my mask to the hospital mask. I go through talking to ppl & stuff. Eventually I’m called up for triage & I tell the guy what’s up (& take my meds bc I forgot that morning & she thought I was doing drugs) & sheasks me for my healthcard number & stuff. I think she was able to put my preferred name in the notes. I’m unbuttoning my shirt & she says “actually come in here” so I go into the nurses’ station & she peels up my bras a bit (apparently I’ve bled) & she’s like “wtf bro” & I’m like “what?” & she’s really concerned that I wanted like 12 hours to come. It was like 9-10pm that I was doing it & it was probably 10am at the time I saw her idk. So she gets me into a private room immediately I think (idk I might be mixing this up with the hospital trip where I had to wait for ages. Idk whether I had to wait here too.) Oh I forgot, I also plucked my violin while waiting for triage or to get called to a private room, but I wasn’t allowed. So eventually (really soon by hospital standards) I get taken to a private room. They get me to change into a gown (all of my bras off too) & now my breast isn’t secured. So while I’m waiting I play my fiddle & look up chords on my phone. Everyone likes it. The nurses & doctors & porters are like “where’s that music coming from?” & “It’s like we’re at the beach” bc chords on violin sound like chords on ukelele despite the fact that I was singing mostly mother mother. Ppl come in a lot tbh. I think the doctor comes in but he says “my shift is over soon & you will take a long time, bYe!” also I’ve been asked so many times if this was a suicide attempt & I’m like “nah bro if I wanted to be dead I would be, I’m not actually suicidal anymore.” Eventually a porter comes to move me from my nice private room to some curtained one. I’m plucking my violin quieter but some fuckin security guard says it’s loud & might be disturbingother patients so I play a really quiet eidelwisse & then I think I might stop. The guard called me miss too & it sucked. Eventually the doctor on shift comes & asks me about things & why & he’s also got his hands on my boob. (when I saw the first doctor he asked if I needed a female doctor & I was like “nah dude ur a doctor & I’m a trans.) So he’s going to sew me up & at some point he asks “tdo you want me to take the rest off?” I’m super confused until I realize he’s making a joke: “do you want me to finish the job & take the rest of your boob off?” so I laugh & say “I wish” & he says “I’d do a horrible job” & I’m like “BRo I AlreAdy did a hOrrible job!” so that was funny. He also asked me about trans stuff bc he didn’t understand a lot (he was respectful even tho he didn’t understand) & he even suggested I claim back pain to get a reduction. I have back pain (mostly from binding). Anyways he drops the needle with novacaine or whatever the hell& needsto get a new one & nobody can touch it bc it’s sharp. A few times it hurts but it’s fine I just close my eyes. He asks “do you need more anesthetic?” & I’m like “bro I did this with only a fucking ice pack” but w/o the swears. I ask him if I can bind after & he’slike “idk” so that was fun. I have a dip in my scar now. Then a nurse comes in & puts a fuck ton of bandages & gause on me but it’s stupid bc I was lying doen & as soon as I stood up (& worse when I put on a bra) it changed everything. So they give me a bag for all my bras & I walk back to school. Now it’s like 15.00 or 3 o’clock so I get back to school… & my phone is at 1%. I text my mom “hey I’m done at school” on google hangouts but my phone dies before I know whether or not the message sent. Chef is already gone, so I can’t get into the school. I can’t call mom. I walk around for a bit, assuming she’ll pick me up when she thinks it’s time. Nope. I’m outside in the cold. I start knocking on doors asking for a phone but it’s fricking covid season! I walk to a nearby coffeeshop & borrow the phone of a nice couple. Mom got sus of that. I warm up in the nice coffeeshop, mom takes me home, but she knows I skipped practice. I think she even called my chef. So yeah that was stupid. I told her “haha I went to get drugs” but she didn’t believe me & also what kind of a lie is that? She knew I cut myself, I guess I just didn’t want to worry her or have her demand to see or cry & ask me why I felt the need to change my body. I’m pissed off that she caught me (she caught me last time I gto stitches too). I can’t jump anymore *& I’m wearing my size-up binder. The doctor told me to scrub my stitches in nthe shower, the nurse told me to wrap in in plastic wrap. I’m wearing button shirts for ages after this, I’m avoiding lifting my arms, everything sucks. Whenever I think of it, I could smell it. I smelled the blood. Every time I smelled a glass that was washed in a dishwasher, I smelled my injury. Every time I remembered it, I could smell it. I don’t get that anymore but I was literally in mild shock & I think I may have traumatized myself. There’s more to say but I forget it all & idc so good night))

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hatsukeii · 4 years

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hello! could you possibly do a scenario where tsukki has a secret passion for dancing, n one of his favs genres to listen to is like 80's music ?? i prefer it to be like raining n dark, just you two. i want tsukki n the girl to be like rly good friends, but tuskki lowkey likes her jus a bit n the girl is like totes in love with him, but they dont rly know about each other, until they like kiss after the songs stops. wkhsjdbf idk if this is too much but i love your writing sm!! thank you. 🥺❤

Okay that’s super cute so don’t worry lool

80s and indie music are SUPERIOR NO ONE TELL ME OTHERWISE.

I was looking through my playlist bc I have 80s songs but then I realised IT’S ALL ROCK LMFAO SO I HAD TO STEAL SONGS FROM MY FRIENDS JAHAHAH

Like I can’t make them dance to ACDC or like Guns n’ Roses wtf are they gonna do air guitars?

But then I realised I literally have a song called we can get together sooo👀👀👀👀

And I genuinely love it so much SOOOO👀👀

Earphones// Tsukishima Kei x Reader

Word count: 2000+

Warnings: None lol I’m not even gonna warn for swearing anymore if it’s just swearing then none

Summary: You randomly discover Tsukishima’s knack for dancing.

You always saw him as a calm, or sly person. He was witty, mean, sarcastic, an asshole in every way possible. He was that one person that would call everyone out for looking stupid while dancing at a party, or the one that would remind couples on Valentine's day that it was to celebrate the death of a tortured and beheaded saint. He was pretty much the most no-bullshit person you’ve ever met. It was as if he simply didn’t understand the meaning of enjoyment, and thrived to seek out every opportunity to ruin it for others as well. He rarely went to social events, never showed up at parties, and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him smile genuinely. Ever.

Yet tonight, you witnessed something you never thought would happen.

You see, every night, you would take a good old stroll around your neighbourhood. Tonight was no different, except it was pouring, the constant pitter patter of your umbrella clouding out any other sound that was coherent. Sometimes you might run into street vendors, other times you would get a bowl of ramen to fulfil your midnight hunger.

Walking along the street to your favourite convenience store, instead of an eerily empty park, what you saw was Tsukishima Kei, the one person you were somehow close to, sitting in a park, with no headphones on. What a shocker.

Ever since you gave him those iconic white headphones, he has never gone anywhere without them. It was as if those headphones were a staple of your friendship, or more so, how much he meant to you. Just saying, those things were expensive. Like eighteen thousand yen expensive. You knew how much Tsukishima enjoyed listening to music, especially whilst doing work. You saved up for months, just to scrape together enough money to get him a brand new pair of headphones to replace his broken ones that only worked in one ear and had shitty quality. You would never admit it, but something in your heart clenched at the sight of the absence of those headphones you spent so much on. Many might have thought you were just sensitive, but they didn’t understand. In fact, no one would understand how insanely in love you were with him.

“Hey, beanstalk.”

The blond looked up from his phone, his legs crossed on the bench.

“Well, would you look who’s here. It’s the infamous shorty.”

You approached his hunched-over figure, taking a seat next to him on the bench. “So, why are you here? It’s pretty late already.” Shoving your earphones into your ear, you hastily scrolled through your playlist, trying to hold off the urge to ask where his headphones were. “Lost my umbrella while going home from practise, it’s raining cats and dogs, I’m not looking to get soaked while going home, so I’m waiting for the rain to stop. Thank God I brought an extra sweater, my uniform is all wet and gross.” Chuckling, you punched him playfully, muttering a quick “Idiot,” before picking a song. You were very low-key about your feelings towards him. God knows how he would react if you ever told him. He would probably ignore you for the rest of your high school lives. Even worse, he might make fun of you for being childish and emotional. Just the thought of it sent shivers up your spine and a dark feeling towards your chest. Shaking your head, you tried your best to drown yourself in the terrifyingly loud music that was blasting through your earphones. From next to you, Tsukishima could hear every single note that was playing from the internal speakers. He scooted closer to you, much to your embarrassment. You grabbed your phone, pretending to scroll through it when in reality, you were just trying to hide the burning blush that was now painted on your cheeks. He paid attention to every little sound that came out of those tiny little earbuds, as if trying to figure out what song you were listening to was a fun game. Noticing the sudden absence of music in your left ear, you heard a tiny, almost breathy chuckle, followed by a pull on the earphone jack. “Pulp, hm? Nice taste you got there.” your eyes widened in surprise, mouth curling up into a wide smile. “Ahhh, never thought the great Tsukishima Kei would know them.” The blond smirked, shoving the rubber tip into his ear. “What do you mean? I have a playlist dedicated to this kind of stuff. 80s music will forever be superior.” You rolled your eyes, not falling for his shit. “Nonono, no way. Hand it over, I need to see for myself. I’m convinced you’re listening to raptor mating calls on a daily basis.” The blond shrugged, dropping his phone onto your lap. “See for yourself.” Opening up his Spotify, you were bombarded with a huge selection of his playlists. “Right there shorty, that’s the one you’re looking for?” Pointing his nimble finger at a specific one that was labeled “Old Stuff,” you scrolled through every single song, not believing what you’re seeing. “Holy shit, and I thought you would be into indie or EDM or something like that. This is some new information that I have to process.” Snatching his phone back, he wiped the screen with his sweater, turning it off. “That’s enough snooping for today. Come back at snooping hours again.”

It was at that moment, did the song decide to change.

“Yeah, no. We’re skipping this shit.” You acted sad, fake pouting and huffing out. “But Tsukishima! All Star is God’s work, you can’t just skip it! Here, I’ll sing it for you!” The blond tried to look at you in disgust, but the smile he was holding back was clear as day, biting his lip as he tried not to laugh at your silly antics. “Oh God (Y/N) please no-”

Too late.

“SomeBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORRRLD WAS GONNA ROLL ME, I AIN’T THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHEDDDD.”

“Absolutely not.” Laughing softly, Tsukishima managed to heave out.

Grabbing your phone and shoving it in front of your face, he unlocked it with ease, navigating his way through the five pages of otome games to find your Spotify. “Jesus Christ, never knew you were this desperate for a man.” The tips of his ears were red, one thought circling his mind.

If she really wanted a boyfriend, would she pick him?

Grabbing his arm, you begged for him to let you continue jamming to All Star. You were shaking him, trying to grab your phone, but nothing worked. “Nooo! Kei! Nooooo lemme listen to the Shrek sex anthem!”

“No.”

Scrolling through your usual playlist, his eyes landed on one particular song. “Hm? What’s this? You listen to Icehouse? Nice taste you got there.” Your grip on his arm loosened up as you looked up at him in shock. “You know them too! Yes! They’re very much adequate.” You stared in awe as the blond smiled from ear to ear, picking a song much to your dismay. “Yesss I love this song with my whole heart. My dinosaurs make way for this.” Hearing the similar synth, you instantly knew what he had picked. “Seriously? You like this song? It’s like cheesy as shit! This is so out of character for you oh my God Kei.” Tsukishima rolled his eyes, completely done with you. “It’s a good song, don’t come at me. Plus, if you think it’s so cheesy, then just delete it.” You frowned. You liked that it was cheesy. You always imagined someone singing it to you, most of the time this imaginary person being Tsukishima. “I like this song too, it’s fine.” The two of you sat in comfortable silence, your earphone jack being the only thing connecting you guys. The park felt weird. You felt weird. This whole situation was weirdly unreal. It was as if the two of you were stuck in a parallel universe, where you and Tsukishima were the only people that existed in that timeline. The silence was thick in the starry night sky, the streetlamps occasionally flickering as the song continued to play. Humming along to the addicting tune, you don’t even realise your body that’s starting to rock, arms swaying from side to side to the rhythm of the chorus.

“We can get together,“

“Get up.”

A hand comes into your sight, willing for you to take it as you feel another tug on your earphones.

“What?”

“You wanna dance, don’t you?”

Never in a million years, would the thought of Tsukishima being able to dance even cross your mind.

“What? It’s raining, I thought you said you didn’t wanna get soaked-”

“Just take my hand and dance with me.”

Hesitating a bit as you looked up at the blond, you raised a brow, grinning playfully as you let your hand fall into his, pulling yourself up and letting him take your other hand. You felt the cold droplets of water fall onto your skin and rolling off, the fabric of your shirt going damp.

“Just take one step forward,” he instructed, motioning for you to follow along with his dance moves. “Then take another step backwards. Everything else will come into place soon enough.” Lacing your fingers with his, the two of you danced in perfect sync, having the time of your lives. “I am learning so, so much about you right now and I’m all for it. Why’d you never tell me you could dance?” Tsukishima’s cheeks went a light pink, looking away bashfully. “It’s embarrassing.” Chuckling, you twirled yourself around, pulling on his arm as you forced his attention back onto you. “It’s not. I think it’s super cool. Do this with a girl and they’ll be head over heels for you in no time.” You mentally facepalmed yourself for saying that. His blush went from a light pink, to a dark red in no time, saturating his cheeks like paint. “Let’s test that theory out.” Mumbling to himself, he continued to guide you, twirling you around and hoisting you up at times.

“Baby we can get together, we can get together.”

The two of you were just jamming along now, not caring about your wet hair and soaked clothes. Tsukishima’s hair was now a damp mess, sticking to his forehead as he whipped his head from side to side, laughing as water droplets flew off his blond strands. Your hair was no better than his, (H/C) strands reflecting the light from the streetlamps as they hit your face with every sway of your head. The earphones were falling off at this point, but it didn’t matter. The two of you already memorised the entire song beforehand. All you wanted was to enjoy the short moment. Grabbing his wet hand again, you randomly started jumping to the beat, letting the blond follow along.

“Later sometime, you can buckle my shoes, you can pick up my sticks, why don't you open that door.”

You gasped in surprise as you felt a large hand spin you around one last time, before dipping you dangerously close to the floor, rainwater rolling off your face. The song came to an end with its final guitar chord, the reverb still ringing in the background. “So, what’d you think?” Tsukishima leaned down, his face dangerously close to yours. Feeling a Cheshire grin form on your face as your tried to raise your head up, you gave his nose a boop with your own, before falling back onto his hand. “That was amazing.” Giving you a cheeky grin, you could feel his breath on your face as he sighed contentedly. His breath smelled like mints, you couldn’t help but wonder how lips would taste too. “You good now, or do you wanna go home? I think the rain just stopped.

Still in that intimate position, you decided to finally ask him.

“Where are the headphones?”

“I didn’t want to get them wet, they’re too important to me. They’re in my bag.”

And that’s when your body decided to act on its own.

Your mind couldn’t even register what you were doing as you pressed a long, soft kiss on Tsukishima’s lips, feeling the heat radiating off of him.

“Now I’m good. Wanna go home?”

“Did you just-”

“Yes.”

Pushing you back up to a comfortable position, he stared at you for another ten seconds, face burning crimson as his mouth opened and shut repeatedly, trying to process what you just did. Finally snapping out of his thoughts, he awkwardly leaned towards you, before pulling himself back. After doing that a few times over, you were properly confused. Grabbing your shoulders, he pressed a firm kiss to your forehead, before grabbing his bag from the bench he was sitting on, pulling his headphones out and hanging them on his neck, handing you the earphones.

“Wanna do this again tomorrow shorty?”

“11pm sharp, don’t be late, and I expect another kiss.”

“Whatever you say cutie.”

Tags:

@tiger1719 @burnt-tomato @thirstyvolleyballhoe @agentvicinity @izzyphantomgamer @sunshines-and-tatertots @sakusasgarbage @trashcanweeb @kaylacinderella @talks-a-lot-of-stuff @random-fandomlover @bokutokoutarou @for-ests @mariechan123 @justachillgirl @ewfilthymundane @just-another-bored-writer @inlwlevi @tiredgr3mlin @itmekisuu

I’m gonna check over the tags again tmr so feel free to dm or comment if I missed you or if you wanna be in the taglist

Eyyyy this isn’t that great but I hope you like it and feel free to give me feedback both good and bad lol love you guys I’m going to sleep now baiiii

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu scenario #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu tsukishima #hq #hq x reader #hq headcanons #hq scenario #hq imagine #hq tsukki #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima scenario #icehouse #please read this i crave validation and feedback lmao #love you guys muah

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thatqueerbxtch · 3 years

Text

Personal survey time

WHAT YOU WOULD RATHER BE CALLED

1. Babe or Baby: Baby

2. Sweetheart or Honey: Honey

3. Sexy or Beautiful: Beautiful

THE CANS

1. Can you blow a bubble with your gum?: kinda

2. Can you dance?: kinda

3. Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth? nah

4. Can you touch your toes?: not without bending my knees

5. Can you wiggle your ears?: yessir

THE DIDS

1. Did you ever run away from home?: does getting kicked out count

2. Did you ever want to be a doctor?: yes

3. Did you ever want to be a firefighter?: no

THE DOS

1. Do you believe in God?: Yes.

2. Do you know how to swim?: yes

3. Do you like roller coasters?: Nooo.

4. Do you have a bike? i think so but idk how to ride it

5. Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows?: Definitely not.

THE HAVES

1. Have you ever asked someone out?: many times

2. Have you ever gone fishing?: a few times

3. Have you ever had a mud fight?: No.

THE WHATS

1. What is the temperature outside?: 43°F

2. What radio station do you listen to? I haven’t listened to the radio in years.

3. What was the last restaurant you ate at? japanese steakhouse

4. What was the last thing you bought?: a dab cart

5. What was the last thing you had to drink?: water

6. What was the last thing on TV you watched?: sam & cat

THE WHOS

1. Who was the last person you added to facebook?: a girl named sage i met on yubo from a town nearby

2. Who was the last person you texted?: my gf

3. Who was the last person who texted you? my friend/plug alexis

4. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? my gf

5. Who was the last person you took a picture with?: my gf

CRYING SECTION

1. Ever really cried your heart out?: Yes.

2. Ever cried yourself to sleep?: Numerous times.

3. Ever cried on your friends shoulder? yes

4. Ever cried over the opposite sex?: no i’m a lesbian, i have cried over many girls tho

5. Do you cry when you get an injury?: depends

6. Do certain songs make you cry?: Yes.

SELF ESTEEM SECTION

1. Is your self-esteem extremely low?: It’s 50/50. half the time i think i’m god and the other half i think i’m a monster

2. Do you believe in yourself?: not rly

3. Do you wish you can be someone else?: I wish I could be an improved, functioning version of myself.

THIS OR THAT

1. Rock or rap: rap

2. Coffee or Hot cocoa: Coffee

3. Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate

4. Hummer or Sports car: Sports car.

5. Bracelet or Necklace: Bracelet.

6. History or Science: science

7. Sleep in or Early to rise: Sleep in.

8. Beach or Boardwalk: boardwalk

9. Hoodie or Tee shirt: T-shirt.

10. Night or Day: Night.

11. Love at first sight or Learn to love: I don’t believe in love at first sight. I’ve never used the term, “learn to love” but ig that one

HAVE YOU EVER

1. Been on the phone until the sun came up?: many times

2. Laughed so hard you cried?: many times

3. Got into a fight with someone?: yea

CURRENT

1. Current mood: chillin

2. Current music playing: I’m not listening to music i’m watching fairly odd parents

3. Current thing I should to be doing: taking a politics test

4. Current amount of money you have on you right now: 36$

THIS OR THAT

1. Kissing on the bed or kissing in the rain: the bed

2. Hugs or kisses: hugs but both

3. Watching a scary movie or a funny one: funny but why not a comedy horror movie

4. Holding hands or being held: being held but both

PINK IS LOVE

1. Do you like someone?: yes my gf

2. Do you believe in love at first sight?: nah

RED IS ANGER

1. Are you currently mad at someone?: No.

2. Which of your family members has the worst temper?: my dad

3. Have you ever thrown something at anyone?: yes

4. Is anyone mad at you? i don’t think so

YELLOW IS SELF DISCOVERY

1. Who are you?:

i wish i knew homie

2. What is your career plan for the future?:

it is a therapist but i also am never gonna amount to anything and will probably flunk out of college sooo

3. What’s your main goal in life?:

i just wanna be happy bro

ORANGE IS EXCITEMENT

1. If you won a million dollars, what would be your first thought?: is this real??? i gotta tell my bestf and gf

2. If you could have anything right now what would it be?: some dabs

GREEN IS OPINION

1. Lower the drinking age? yes to 18

2. War?: Not a fan.

3. Global Warming?: Is definitely a thing.

PURPLE IS Q&A

1. How many beds did you lay in today?: Just mine all day.

2. What color shirt are you wearing?: white

3. Name one thing that you do everyday: smoke weed

4. Does anything hurt on your body right now?: yea my upper back

5. Do you own a camera phone?: Yeah.

GREY IS TODAY

1. What are you doing tonight?: talking to my gf and watching tv

2. What are you going to eat?: probably swiss cake rolls

3. Where are you going to be at 2:00am?: in bed

BLACK IS FOR TOMORROW

1. Tomorrow is?: Thursday.

2. Are you looking forward to it?: yes!! my gf comes over

3. Are you going to laugh?: yes

4. Who are you going to be with? my gf

5. Do you want to change that?: no

6. Do you have a crush?: yes

7. Are you happy with life at the moment?: No.

RANDOM STUFF

1. What is your best friend’s Dad’s name?: ronald

2. Are you bored of this note yet?: meh

3. Who was the hottest teacher you ever had? my 7/8 grade english teacher

4. What body part do you wash first?: my underarms

5. Is your driveway steep?: yes

6. What’s your favorite flavored Pringles?: original only

7. Have you ever been tied up?: yes

8. What did you just eat?: popcorn

#survey

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sunflower-smiles · 4 years

Text

tw: the following story is about my self harm scars and peoples reactions. please do not read if you feel you will be triggered <3

i have been self harming for almost 3 years now and i have many scars.

i have tried many methods and to this day will self harm in various ways but the only ones that are visually noticeable are my scars from cutting.

i do not go to school now (i am in grade 11) but throughout grade 9/10 all day everyday i would wear long sleeves. at the time, i was only self harming on my left arm, and they were not bad (what medics would classify as “superficial”). they left very faint scars but since i was doing it so often there was never a time in those 2 years when i would let my arm heal (except summer when i would self harm on my stomach because bathing suits lol).

when i first started in spring of grade 8 i was going through a lot at the time and i am not going to lie, it was for attention. no one knew what was going on at home and i wanted someone to be concerned for me. so i went to school with short sleeves after self harming that night and told people i just slipped and cut myself by accident. trust me i know how terrible that is now and i would never do that now. but that day one of my friends grabbed my arm out of no where in the middle of class and said very loudly “oh my god! do you cut yourself!” and i got very embarrassed and was like “no, i slipped”. throughout that day i probably got at least 5 more of that same reaction. and even though i wanted a reaction and some attention, it wasn't how i wanted it, i really just wanted someone to care. i did a lot of that type of stuff in grade 8, oh yea, i was THAT kid. so i definitely learned my lesson and never wore short sleeves at school again.

grade 9 was actually pretty chill since i wore long sleeves the whole year. with a few exceptions like my friend grabbing my arm in gym and me wincing at the pain and her pulling my sleeve up. with a “omg did u cut urself” and me going “no, im not insert friend who self harmed name” and i totally outed my friend in that moment which was so not cool and i felt rly bad about it.

grade 10 i switched to my legs since for basketball games you had to wear short sleeves, but when i stopped playing it was back to arms. basketball was rly hard for me scar wise, because one thing you need to know about my, is i am a ginger. so it takes 2 years for my scars to turn white and until then they are purple. and one of coaches favorite drills was defensive stances with your arms out wide, so pretty stressful. end half of grade 10 was online school, so best BELIEVE my mentally ill ass took advantage of that to dive into depressive low. plus i was with a new therapist at the time who was AWFUL. when i told her i struggled with cutting she asked “how bad” and i kind of explained and she said “oh that's nothing...” AND CONTINUES ON TO GRAPHICALLY DEPICT ONE OF HER PAST CLIENTS SELF HARM. when i said she was bad i meant bad. so of course now i feel like all those thoughts of baby cut syndrome and stuff and my self harm on my legs get rly bad. obviously i am not going to add triggering content but i will say that while seeing that therapist my self harm was the worst its ever been.

now grade 11, or work/homeschool year you could call it. fuck covid. i am with adults all day 4-5 days a week, the same 10 adults. so i work at a motorcycle store in the parts dept. and we have a uniform, its just a short sleeve polo with the logo on it and black pants. i also got like 3 hoodies, 2 zip ups and a pull over. so i wear my hoodie over my shirt and normally we are all good. but in the winter my boss like to crank up the heat really hot, also known as my worse nightmare. i spent many months sweating all day everyday. but a couple weeks ago i though to myself ‘hey, my cuts are healed, these are adults, i should be fine’. so i wore just my t-shirt one day (with my hoodie close by) and probably like 15 mins in my coworker (whos my work best friend ) pointed to his arm mirroring me and kind of looked at me funny. and i was like “what?” and he said “oh what's that scar from?” and i said “oh just my dog.” which is where the convo should have ended. but he persisted, ‘really let me see that's not what it looks like” and i was like “well that's what it is” and he said “let me see your arm” gesturing his hand, and i was like “no.” and he kept on me, like a dickhead for like 2 mins straight. until i just walked away. and as i was kinda panicking away he tried to save himself by saying “well it looked like a burn its in the spot where if would hit the oven”. which was bullshit cause why would i say an oven burn is a dog scrape. afterwords we both pretended like it didnt happen. which i was totally fine with.

i am very cautious to how i wear my arms out now, currently i cant because of relapse. but at work i never wear them out around customers, just back at my desk. but still when my coworkers stop to talk to me i can see them starring and its very awkward. this summer will be interesting because my scars are much more noticeable then prior years. also for reference my parents do not know.

the point of this story was not to tell people to cover up their scars. i definitely think that people should not be ashamed of them. i just think that if you are, and they are noticeable; expect people to ask and stare. and be emotionally prepared and have a response ready because unless you have experienced it there is no way to describe the anxiety you feel when that encounter happens.

i am not encouraging hiding your self harm from people in any way shape or form this is just my experience.

message me if you need support or just someone to talk to. or i have an anonymous question thing on my page.

self harm is never the answer.

#self harrrm #bpd recovery #ed recovery #mental health recovery #recovery #mental health #mentalheathawareness #mental awareness #mental disorder #depression #anxiety

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juminsmysticmc · 5 years

Note

I know the request box are closed but I didn't want to forget this hc ..& I rly I just thought of hc what if the s/o from rfa had a fight with mc and due to the spark of the mc got out & drank her sadness away and then the bar owner toke her phone to call their s/o but when they reach the bar to pick up mc she refuses to go with them since she didn't recognise them and start to trash them while praising their s/o and due to that mc wake up in the next morning already made up with each other...

Mc gets drunk after a discussion and says nice things about them when they try to pick her up, mistaking them for a stranger

Hii! So I know that you told me to please delete the ask but something you must know about me is that I always go against the words of older and that I couldn’t delete this nice request so, I hope you can forgive me! Enjoy!

Jumin

,,I know that you have a lot to do, and I’m not complaining because I feel lonely, but I’m worried for your health for God’s sake!’’ you whined.

Jumin just watched you.

,,You keep getting to work early and then come back late in the night and you never eat! Your sleep schedule is a mess, Jumin!’’

,,Maybe you don’t know what it feels like because you don’t work, but I have a lot of responsibility,’’ Jumin talked back.

You looked at him and you thought you didn’t hear him well. Did he just say that you don’t work?

,,Ah, so the work I do for the RFA is a game? The work I accomplish twice a week with Jaehee is a game too?’’ you asked him, chuckling nervously as he ignored your words.

,,Go to hell,’’ you snapped and took your jacket, running outside.

You just walked away as quickly as you could. You didn’t care that it was in the middle of the night and that it was cold.

Half an hour later, you arrived at a bar and sat down, ordering the strongest drink the barkeeper had.

,,Aish...So dizzy...oi, more!’’ you mumbled and put up your glass.

,,Miss, you should stop…’’ the keeper whined, feeling bad for you.

,,My husband-’’ you began to whimper but stopped, looking angrily at the keeper.

,,I’m still thirsty!’’ you whined.

The barkeeper decided to act on his own, taking your phone out of your pocket and calling a number.

,,Mc, where are you? I’m worried and I’m sorry, let’s talk-’’

,,Sorry, Mister, are you perhaps the husband of the owner?’’ the barkeeper asked Jumin, watching you while he talked to Jumin.

A bit later Jumin arrived, followed by his bodyguards.

He first thanked the barkeeper and then took off his jacket, ready to give it to you to make sure that you stayed warm.

He then tried to take you out, but you began to go against him.

,,Let go of me, idiot!’’ you moaned, pushing him away.

Jumin didn’t even move one millimeter.

,,Don’t you know who I am?’’ you asked him angrily.

Jumin chuckled.

,,No, who are you?’’ he teased you.

,,The wife of a handsome CEO! Jumin Han! He won’t listen to me, but he’s amazing! While you’re here he’s working to make sure that in the future, me and his family will be alright…’’ you mumbled, looking at him now.

,,He is so cute and handsome...I miss him...I miss his warmth...But I still won’t go with you!’’ you hissed, but then fell asleep on his chest.

,,I won’t make you miss me again, Mc. I’m sorry, my love…’’ he whispered and kissed your front, finally carrying you out like a princess.

Zen

,,I SWEAR! WHY DON’T YOU TRUST ME?!’’ Zen yelled at you.

Tears were already flowing out.

,,I trust you, but I don’t trust other women!’’ you yelled back.

The both of you just argued because you had the feeling that he was being way too touchy with a woman.

Zen shook his head, making you feel hilarious.

You glared at him and suddenly got up, running out of the apartment.

Zen just watched you go and as soon as you were outside, he let his body fall down on the ground, trying to stop his heart from beating crazily.

,,Again...today I just can’t get drunk…’’ you whined, taking a shot of your favorite drink again.

The barkeeper looked at you. He felt bad for you, but nothing could stop you now and he knew it.

He decided to go out for a moment to call Zen and advise him that you, his girlfriend, were currently in the bar, since he knew the both of you already.

Almost an hour later, Zen arrived breathless.

He looked around. The lights were darker than usual and the bar was pretty empty for a Saturday night, but he still managed to oversee you no matter how many times he looked around.

Panic grew and his heart was beating crazily.

Did the barkeeper send you out like that?

Did something happen to you? Were you perhaps in danger?

Zen already went through a lot of scenarios until he finally saw the man in a black suit waving.

He quickly approached him and saw that your head was lying on the table.

You reeked. You had drank too much and he knew it.

He softly touched your shoulder, trying to wake you up.

,,Let go, idiot...I’m waiting for my boyfriend,’’ you hissed.

,,I am your boyfriend,’’ he said clearly.

You looked up, your eyes were red and swollen from the tears.

,,Not true, my boyfriend looks better...he’s nice...it’s me who isn’t good enough…’’ you hiccuped, making Zen feel bad right away.

Zen tried to stroke your shoulder, but you quickly pushed him away.

,,Don’t. My handsome boyfriend will get sad...if he still wants me...apparently I’m not even good enough…’’ you whined.

,,Why are you thinking that?’’ he asked you, curious for your answer.

,,He won’t even ask me to marry him.’’ you began to sobb suddenly and got up.

,,Go away, I will walk back to my boyfriend…’’ you moaned and then stumbled in his arms, fainting from the alcohol.

Zen thanked the man and paid your bill, shocked at the amount you drank.

He was indecisive since he wasn’t sure whether he should bring you to a hospital, but decided to let you rest at home.

The next day you had a terrible headache, but at least you found a question in your soup.

With noodles, Zen asked you if you would forgive him and instead marry him, making you tear up in happiness.

Yoosung

Tears kept flowing as Yoosung didn’t even look at you.

Both of you were already married for so long, but there were still times when both of you would do nothing but argue.

It was again a time where neither one seemed to understand the other.

The silence between the both of you was just too much for you to bear and so you left the place you called home.

You walked as quickly as you could with your white shoes.

It was already pretty late and usually you would be scared to be on your own, but the hate and disappointment you felt right now gave you the strength to walk.

Suddenly, cold drops hit you.

You looked up as the cold rain came down quicker, falling onto your face and mixing with your salty tears.

The only thing that showed other people you were crying was your loud sobs which echoed through the empty streets.

Your feet stopped walking forward and instead your eyes met a bar.

Warm air hit you and the smell of alcohol made you unsure if this place was something for you.

However, you still dared to sit down and put your phone on the table.

The bartender looked at you, waiting for your order.

Your lips moved on their own as you read out the various drinks.

,,Such an ass…“ you mumbled in a drunken state.

Neither you nor the bartender by now knew how many drinks you’d had.

All he knew for sure was that you were totally drunk and that someone tried to call you for a long long time.

At some point he simply picked up.

,,Hello?“ he asked, observing you.

Yoosung on the other side stayed silent.

,,Hello? Do you know the owner? Answer, please,“ the bartender almost begged.

,,Y-yes!“ Yoosung responded, panicking.

Why would a stranger pick up?

,,The lady is currently drunk. Please pick her up or else I have to notify the police,“ the barkeeper said.

,,No! No no no, I will come in a few seconds! Please tell me the adress!“ Yoosung begged.

The bartender asked for your personal dates like the color of the shirt you were wearing to make sure, that Yoosung wasn’t dangerous and then said where you were staying.

Indeed, the blond haired boy barged in, approaching you immediately.

You, however, had other plans when he begged you to come along.

,,I will call my husband!“ you yelled.

,,I am your husband!“ Yoosung desperately answered.

You looked at him. Your eyes scanned him, but you still shook your head.

,,Yoosung is higher and looks better. Besides, you mister, look so rude and not kind at all, but if you would know my husband you would notice how different you are!

I just love him soooo much...I could never like you!’’ you blabbered and then smiled.

Yoosung blushed at your words and then sat beside you, listening to your words until you finally fell asleep and he could carry you without any problems.

The next morning you had a bad headache. You felt sick but someone stayed by your side and stroked your hand and then handed you a bottle of water.

,,I will give you a light soup. Take it easy...I’m sorry for yesterday. Can we make up?’’ he asked you sweetly and gave you a kiss on your nose as soon as he saw you nod.

Jaehee

Since a few weeks ago, the both of you had problems.

Not only financially, but also mentally.

Both of you wanted to adopt a child, but something didn’t work out and you lost the adoption.

When you wanted to get pregnant, both of you agreed that you would be the one carrying the baby, but then something didn’t work out and you two thought that God wanted to punish you, making it impossible to become a family.

You were so frustrated that you even thought about giving up.

Jaehee asked you to do a diet in order to make it possible for you to become pregnant, but suddenly you felt as if you were too stressed out.

The diet was a fiasco and you quickly fell into your old habits like drinking soft drinks and eating way too many unhealthy snacks.

That’s how your fight started.

,,You don’t want a family at all, huh?’’ she mocked.

,,Jaehee, are you kidding me? Every method we’ve tried was done with my body, not yours, MINE!’’ you snapped, raising your voice.

,,You are the one who’s not doing anything! YOU!’’ you ended your speech, running out of the place.

She didn’t even call my name, you thought as your legs moved on their own.

You hid yourself in the first bar you saw, drinking your sorrows away with alcohol.

You didn’t mind anymore.

,,Yaiaiaia….’’ you blubbered as you ordered another drink, not understanding anything anymore.

You felt dizzy and you knew something was wrong, but you didn’t know how to prevent it.

,,Yes, she’s still here...she drank a lot...yes, please pick her up,’’ you heard.

,,Are ya tryna to kidnap me?’’ you asked, but fainted.

Shortly afterwards, you felt someone tapping your arm.

,,Go away, kidnapper! I won’t follow you!’’ you screamed, trying to get away.

,,What are you even saying?!’’ the voice hissed.

,,I will never go with you,’’ you began ,,Jaehee is my only love for now and forever! Take a good example! She looks good, unlike you! And she’s giving her best at everything!’’ you said, raising your finger.

,,At everything? Are you sure?’’ the voice asked you.

You just nodded ,,Like always, unlike you…’’

Afterwards, everything turned black.

Bright sunshine fell on your face, making you notice that you were in your cozy bed next to your girlfriend.

,,So, how does it feel to get kidnapped?’’ Jaehee asked you with a smile on her face.

,,Shut up. What are you even talking about?!’’ you hissed, hiding your face.

Jaehee kissed your lips and afterwards mumbled a soft, ,,Sorry’’

Saeyoung

The hot tears just wouldn’t stop flowing down your red cheeks.

Your heart was beating crazily and your throat was sore after you yelled as if the world was going down.

A hot discussion just found its end after you barged out, taking one of his cars and racing away, your vision blurry by the teary eyes.

It was dangerous as heck, but you didn’t mind anymore.

Saeyoung and you were at the end of your nerves.

The wedding and the personal problems, as well as Rika, was hitting both of you.

Not to forget that Saeran was living with the both of you too.

,,Next one!’’ you yelled, pushing your glass forward and waiting for the next filling.

The ice in your drink didn’t even have the chance to melt since you were drinking them as if it was water.

One hot drink after another, one by one down your throat, enjoying the hot and almost firey feeling.

,,Miss, shouldn’t you stop now?’’ the bartender asked you, drying a glass and observing you.

,,Are you in a relationship…?’’ you asked him.

,,No, miss, I’m not,’’ he responded.

You looked up at him and tried to read his name ,,Hyu...Hay...H..? Whatever. I will call you Hyung,’’ you paused ,,Hyung, don’t get yourself a girlfriend or a boyfriend,’’ you began.

,,A lot of problems and hardships and everything which is left afterwards isn’t even love!’’ you mumbled the advice and slowly closed your eyes.

,,Thank you,’’ you heard and then were lifted up.

You immediately tried to fight against the person who was carrying you.

,,Let me down you ugly idiot! If my fiancé would see you, he would fight you immediately!’’ you shrieked.

,,Ah, yes. Is that so?’’ he asked you with an amused voice.

You nodded.

,,He’s handsome and intelligent...hard working and kind...nothing like you, weak ass!’’ you hissed again and then slapped your hands in front of your mouth.

,,Sick!’’ you yelled out and -

The next morning you woke up, Saeyoung’s eyes were red and you wondered why.

,,I’m sorry…’’ he mumbled and kissed you.

,,I’ll do my best to never make you angry again…’’ he mumbled, stroking your head.

,,Why the sudden change of heart?’’ you asked him, smiling.

Saeyoung shed a tear.

,,Your words...and my car…’’ he explained.

MASTERLIST 1

MASTERLIST 2

MASTERLIST 3

15.01.2020//23:03 MEST

Tagged: @foreversunshine-love @giulia2372 @sailormoonrocks666 @widya345 @remiliadacalde @r-f-a-journalists

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hiuythn · 5 years

Note

sorry to ask, but i saw u shared hc for the sick anon, im going thru a rough patch and ur fic rly cheered me up. Can i get some hcs as well?

this is how keith asks lance to marry him:

so we all know how from the beginning, from the moment things got resolved at the end of tnahp, that keith’s been upfront about never leaving lance. everyone knows he’s going to put a ring on that. he’s said it to lance’s face. “what else am i gonna do with you?”

it’s not until six years later that he actually does anything though. mostly bc of the war and the aftermath.

the team are in a meeting with the coalition, boring stuff, routine stuff, and the mind link is closed, bc sometimes keith and lance need breaks. he’s lucky that it was, though, because what happens next in his mind would’ve been enough to make lance fall out of his seat and ruin the meeting and coran would’ve killed them both lmao

lance is paying attention even though he looks just as bored as keith. diligent, as always. he’s even got a holoscreen projected, taking lazy notes. there are faint little sketches of the coalition members and the team. one is of shiro, snoring, comical Zs above his head. keith bites down on his cheek.

lance is twirling the pen in his left hand.

keith looks at that and thinks, loud and clear, there should be a ring on his finger.

he sits back.

huh.

it should be a surprise, he decides after a quiet minute. lance deserves that. it should be at the right moment, the right words, the right place. it should be soft and genuine and such a sweet shock that it takes lance seconds to reply. it should make his blue eyes fill with tears, it should make him curl into a ball before keith, who’ll still be kneeling, ring box open and laughing at him because wow, that’s nice reaction, lance. it should be a proposal so perfect that it makes lance kind of mad, makes him shove keith, makes him pout that frustrated-loving-happy pout.

(bros, as a gay, this is kind of really fucking gay)

keith spends the rest of the meeting laying out proposal plans. lance gets exasperated when he finds out keith remembers nothing of the meeting. “dude, you--tell me again, who’s the leader of voltron, here?” “it’s allura.” “....okay, but who flies bl--”

and some people might ask, what’s the point, if you’re already levertan-married? if you’ve mind-linked and basically achieved the pinnacle of ‘joining hands in holy matrimony’?

keith’s answer would probably be something like ‘fuck off, i love him that’s why’

(ngl that’s hella romantic. no? just me?)

the long answer is that he knows lance is a romantic. that he really likes gestures of affection, that his face gets all rosy and he always tries to bite back his smiles, and he gets so pleased and flustered and also adorably angry every time keith does anything for him. keith’s in love with that. he goes absolutely dumb over making lance happy, he’s fucking obsessed with it. every neuron in keith’s stupid head is devoted to lance like 24/7.

(it’s a given that lance is the same, if not worse. how tf do they get anything done?)

plus, levertan-married doesn’t really mean the same as human-married.

so keith--somehow--manages to pull off thinking up proposal plans without closing the link, without lance knowing--maybe bc his thoughts are purposefully fragmented like ‘white chocolate? milk?’ or ‘speakers? mic?’ or ‘beach sand feels sandy’ and yes it sounds absolutely dumb but it’s clever because after a while lance tunes it out. though, at the beginning, it really fucking worried him because it sounded like keith was having a stroke LMAO

over the next couple months, keith steadily puts his plan together: get the ring, figure out what to say, speak to allura about detouring to earth for some r&r, speak to shiro about not fucking things up for keith because i know you’ll do that somehow shiro no are you serious of course you would you’re evil do you even remember that time i said no to inviting people for my fourteenth birthday and you did it anyway even though i was looking forward to just playing video games for the whole day??? i had to deal with james griffin in my goddamn house you ass--

the day keith asks, everything--surprisingly--goes really well? like suspiciously so. like keith’s really glad but he’s itching to reach for his knife by the end of it, bc he was prepared for shiro to have done sth by now.

but nah, keith and lance have a lovely day hanging out, doing activities keith planned and things lance spontaneously suggests. the weather is a perfect breezy, sunny day. when the sun sets they wordlessly head for the beach. lance chases keith though the surf. they throw clumps of wet sand at each other. keith hoists lance in his arms, listening to him yell as keith spins them around. lance picks him up and tosses him into the shallows, that fucking jerk. lance gets keith to forgive him. lance gives keith his shirt, goes half-naked for keith’s shivering form. ‘i’m going to get a cold,’ lance says. ‘and i’m not?’ keith snorts. they walk down the beach and lance tells him stories, pointing to this rock or that spot and saying oh i broke my arm there or dude i saved a baby turtle from a seagull that day and keith soaks it all up like he’s the sand and lance is the ocean waves, coming back to him every time.

lance hops onto a rock, demonstrating to keith how he used to pretend he was a sea prince looking for mermaids. the winds play with his hair, the setting sun brushing golden against his bare chest and the grin on his lips. like this, he’s a foot or two taller than keith.

keith gets down on one knee.

it’s lance’s fault that the ring box is damp, but he’s lucky this thing is olkari-made, because when keith opens it up, the ring shines just as bright as lance. almost as bright. it tries its best but keith really only has eyes for his soulmate.

keith says:

every day, i want to choose you. every day, i want to get to choose you. every day, growing up like i did, was spent learning what i needed to live, what food or drink or mantra was needed to make it another day alone. my body forced to me to focus on its needs, on the bare essentials. if i went a month without a caring touch, it didn’t matter, because it hadn’t killed me yet.

before i fell for you, i don’t think i knew what it meant to want. i never had a chance to think about it, a second to indulge. if i wanted a home, a family, it was a weakness, a distraction, and i couldn’t let myself admit it. so i never learned to want.

the only other thing that comes closest to what i feel for you is probably flying. it’s that addiction to diving through the clouds, it’s free-falling, it’s soaring with my heart in my throat. and even then, even now that i know you, it doesn’t quite compare. it’s a poor substitute.

in this world we exist in, where some force out there knows exactly what we need, who we need, it’s kind of a miracle that i still got to choose you. i’m glad i got the moments where it hurt to think of you, because i wanted you so bad i couldn’t stand not having you. i’m glad i got to slowly realize that you were everything to me, on my own time. it was my own conclusion, my own resolution to love you because you were you, and not because you were someone i was supposed to love. the universe kind of tricked us, but i think she meant well.

and now i know, that even in a world where soulmates didn’t exist....i know i’d still want you.

i want to want you, every day. i want to wake up wanting you, every day, fall asleep wanting you every night. i want to leave for missions wanting you, want to stay behind watching you go, wanting you to return faster than you can. i want you to want me, too. i want a ring on our fingers, reminding me that you do, that you feel the same and you always will.

i want to marry you, lance mcclain.

will you marry me?

#klance #tnahp #tiwlll #fuck what the fuck #what the actual fuck that's so romantic #can someone check my head for me i think keith possessed me #holy god #ummmmm #i don't know how to explain this i've literally never been in love sjdfhksdjf #?????????????????#anon i hope this helps you!!!!! ily 💖💖💖#ask #my writing #y'all i really think i need an exorcist....#keith [reaching thru 15 dimensions to wrap his hands around my neck and wring it]:#tell them why i love lance kogane-mcclain!!!!! tell them!!! fuck!!#Anonymous

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jawnjendes · 5 years

Text

you lost a part of your existence | shawn mendes

...in the war against yourself

chapter 9/?, university au, shawn x goth oc

AN: i hope this is as angsty as yall wanted. i read this way too many times to make sure its good n stuff. i hope it rly is. pls pls let me know what u think. blease.

masterlist | playlist

August 9

She never wanted him to stay asleep so bad in her life.

Shawn had an unexpected early start to the day. He got a call from his boss at six in the morning and had to deliver some massive flower arrangements to a wedding venue, even though he had the day off due to the birthday shenanigans that happened the night before. Still, he went and came back around noon, when Annalise was up and running. Shawn went down for a nap in the room, even more exhausted than normal.

Annalise was already on the couch, trying to enjoy her day off. She really didn’t want to catch up on the sleep she missed from helping Shawn through his nightmares all night. She knew she would have to stay awake now, knowing that he was inevitably going to fall into the dark place again. Annalise decided to catch up with Bella Santiago and her strange white background on YouTube. Naturally, remaining still on the couch for an extended period of time caused her to doze off.

Two things woke her up some time later. The first was a deep, uncomfortable pit in her stomach that really wanted to get out. She felt it in her throat, and she wiggled her toes to keep it at bay. Her mind began to race like it was second nature; What did I eat? What didn’t I eat? Did I have too much food last night or not enough? Do I have to cut pasta out of my diet now? Did I forget to eat with my birth control? Am I gonna vomit blood? Am I gonna end up in the hospital and have even more surgery? Am I gonna survive this?

The other thing was a distressed sound coming from the bedroom. Annalise tightly gripped the hem of her t-shirt, willing herself to not be sick on the couch. Every one of her senses were amped up in this state, so hearing short, little screams every few seconds only agitated her more. Why did this have to happen now?

“I’ll be just fine,” she whispered as she slowly moved to get up from the couch. “I’ll be just fine…”

Another yell came from the room, and she was not fine at all. As soon as she was on her feet, Annalise felt her stomach flip, and then she was running into the bedroom, where the closest bathroom was. Didn’t even look at Shawn’s convulsing body. Just went straight to the bathroom and slammed the door. She made it to the toilet in time, holding her hand over her still fragile incisions.

The real kicker? She heaved and retched and sobbed, but nothing came out. The horrid sensation of vomiting kept coming, but nothing was being ejected from her body. Annalise shook her head between upchucks, tears staining her cheeks. Why was this still happening?

Shawn woke up due to the loud slam, but his mind and body were still in the nightmare zone. His forehead was beaded with cold sweat, and his jaw was chattering uncontrollably. He could hear his own breathing directly in his ears, like some creepy form of ASMR. Not knowing what else to do, Shawn repeatedly smacked his cheeks like he was still trying to wake himself up. That awful retching could still be heard, his dreams were never this vivid. I’m safe. I’m alive. She’s safe. She’s alive.

Suddenly, he sat up, eyes frantically scanning the room. Who the hell is vomiting so loud? It's really fucking sunny today.

He wiped the sweat off his brow and then rubbed at his arms, wanting to jump out of his skin. He wanted this to be over already. He wanted to breathe again.

“Ann?” he called softly, his voice shaking. “Help me…”

Just as he said those words, he wanted to swallow them. Panicked as he was, Shawn was finally able to figure out that the vomiting sounds were from Ann. He scrambled out of bed and went to the bathroom door, anxiously jiggling the knob. It was locked, and it only sent another shot of fear through his chest. Not to mention, the vomiting sounds had stopped, and it was quiet for an uncomfortable amount of time.

“A-Ann?” Don’t do this, she needs you. “Ann, please…” Chill out, man.

Breathing short, Shawn slid down to his knees, leaning against the door. Tears blurred his vision as he stared at the crack at the bottom of the door. He saw a flash of blood seeping out of there from his dreams, and he punched the wall next to the doorway. He tried to find his way back to earth. He breathed the way the therapist told him to, he whispered the calming mantras, he pinched the pressure point in his hand. No matter what he did, he couldn’t shake this god awful feeling.

“Please, please…” he cried, weakly banging on the door. “Can’t breathe… Help me…”

Little did he know, Annalise was sitting on the other side of the door, knees to her chest. Now that she wasn’t distracted by her own shitty digestive tract, her mind spiraled even more. She knew she had to pull herself together long enough to help Shawn, but it never felt so impossible. How could she comfort him when she was the one who caused all this emotional turmoil? How could she break him and put him back together at the same time?

“I’m a strong lady, I’m a strong lady, I’m a strong lady,” she whispered between soft little sobs.

Why is this still happening to me? I want it to be over.

Present day.

Annalise felt an uncomfortable chill go down her spine as she recalled that afternoon. To think the following day, she proposed the idea of the separation. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Then again, she didn’t know it was going to blow up in her face like this.

She kept scrolling through Instagram as she sat on the floor in the corridor, just outside Shawn’s apartment. She looked at all the pictures and stories from his gig, and noticed how much he was glowing. When he was on stage, he was completely in his element. You wouldn’t be able to tell all the crap his girlfriend dumped on him.

It was almost midnight, and Shawn had told her he would be back by eleven thirty. This is what she gets for trusting men, she sits outside their homes looking fucking stupid. Annalise sighed and picked herself up off the floor just as she heard the staircase door open at the end of the corridor. It’s always right before she decides to leave.

Shawn was surprised to see her as he walked down the hall. He set down his guitar case when he reached the door, giving her a look. “You’re here.”

“I’ve been here for half an hour,” she told him, turning her phone over in her hand repeatedly.

“Sorry.” He pulled out his keys and unlocked the door. “Come on.”

The tension heightened tenfold as they entered the spacious apartment. Even when Shawn set his case aside to pick up Henry the cat from the kitchen counter, it never faltered. They went into the living room, where Shawn placed Henry on the giant cat condo in the corner by the screen door. That was new.

“You know I’m always honest with you,” he spoke, though he kept his back to Annalise, who had taken a seat on the couch.

“Yeah…” she trailed off, her stomach in knots. She watched him scratch Henry’s chin, wondering what the fuck was about to happen.

Shawn finally turned to her and sat on the other end of the L shaped couch. “So, you should know Alessia hit on me-”

“I know,” Annalise said coldly as she folded her arms. “I found out from her.”

Unfazed by the attitude, he continued. “No, I mean, she did it again a couple of days ago. And to be very real with you - apart from the gig I just performed - it was the highlight of my week.”

It was like being sucker punched with a frying pan. She had her mouth open like she wanted to say something, but everything she wanted to say was getting mushed up in one big angry ball.

“Now, before you freak out,” Shawn went on, “I’m telling you this so you know what exactly this separation is doing, and how bad I want it to end. I know we’re not broken up, and I will stay faithful to you, but I feel like I’m single.”

“That’s how you tell me you wanna be with me? By telling me you liked someone else’s flirting?” Annalise asked in disbelief. “So you don’t want me, you want someone.”

“I want you, Ann. And I want nothing more than to go back to the way we were.”

“You said you’re always honest.”

“I am. I don’t want to break up, but I don’t know if you feel the same way. How long more are you gonna keep this up? Everyone and their mother are fucking tired of this separation thing! I’m tired of the two week check ins, and I’m tired of wondering what you’re going to do next!”

Annalise scoffed. “You can’t still want to be with me knowing there’s other girls who want you.”

“It’s only one, Ann.”

“But you liked her advances.”

“Because the girl I love is pushing me away!” he snapped, now irritated.

She glared at him. Was that supposed to be charming? Was that supposed to reel her back in? Annalise sat up in her seat and leaned towards him. “A guy hit on me too, and you know what I did? I broke his fucking nose.”

Shawn put his hands up, confused. “You want me to break Alessia’s nose?”

“No, but I will if she-”

“Okay, okay! You’re going too far now.”

There was a pause. Annalise took a breath to cool herself down, but she still felt like she needed to yell. There was something on the tip of her tongue that she needed to talk about. She tried to remember, but the rumbling in her stomach made itself known.

Shawn noticed the sound and tilted his head. It threw him off so much he lost the angry tone. “Are… are you hungry?”

“It doesn’t matter,” she replied. “It’s after midnight, I can’t eat anyway.”

“When was the last time you ate?” he asked her.

“That’s not what we’re talking about right now.”

“You know you can’t be skipping meals.”

“Stop!” Annalise snapped, her throat suddenly tight and burning. “Don’t worry about me. Don’t scare yourself like that.”

Shawn gave her a look. Then he scooted a cushion closer. “I’m not scared.” When the silence threatened to persist, he asked, “Are you?”

Now she remembered what she wanted to talk about. She changed the subject. “You told Alessia about my health problems.”

The silence came back. Shawn looked down, trying to find the words to say. “If you heard the conversation we were having, you would understand why-”

“No,” she said firmly. “I could understand if it was just the hospital stay, but you told her everything. You told her about my anxiety with food, and you told her my calming mantra, and she threw it back in my face that night at the bar.”

“Okay, I didn’t know she would do that. If I had known, I wouldn’t have said anything at all.”

“You weren’t supposed to say anything to begin with! That wasn’t your thing to tell! I thought I could trust you, but you tell her my business and you let her stick around even though she clearly has feelings for you. How am I supposed to trust you?”

Shawn sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. He knew she had a point, but he was still frustrated. “I’m sorry I told Alessia, but she’s not a bad person. She had a lot to drink that night, I’m sure she didn’t mean it.”

Needless to say, it didn't do any good. Annalise felt herself go red in the face. “Why are you still defending her? Do you have feelings for her?”

“No!”

“So why have you been so quiet this week? You haven’t texted me at all.”

He chuckled, clearly annoyed. “Now you care about that?”

“Answer the question,” she deadpanned.

Shawn scooted a little closer and sighed. “You never answered my texts to begin with, so I stopped sending them. No use talking to a wall.”

That stung a little.

“So you do like her?” she asked.

“I told you no! How do you - Why -” Shawn cut himself off, rubbing his temples. He was really reaching his limit here.

And so was Annalise. “She hits on you, and brags about it to me. Even when I’m nice enough to give her my bed, she leaves so I don’t see her in the morning. That sounds like someone who’s hiding something!”

“Ann, she was embarrassed because she had too much to drink! Why do you always think everyone’s out to get you?” Shawn asked. Nearly there.

“She’s not out to get me, she clearly wants you! I’ve given her plenty of chances! I defended her in gaming club! I dragged her drunk ass back to campus! And then she goes and continues to flirt with you like she’s won you over! Did you even tell her to back off?”

“Of course I did!”

“You’re a liar!”

“And you’re fucking crazy!”

It was a split second of relief, allowing his pent up anger to truly seep out. But Shawn knew he said the wrong thing as soon as that second was over. He had never seen tears well up in her eyes so fast before. He wanted to take it back as soon as it came out, but Annalise was already standing up.

She decided, yeah, she is crazy. She didn’t choose it. She wasn’t always this way, but it’s how she is now. Her eyes looked down at the floor as the last words rang in her head. Heavy tears streamed down her face, but she didn’t even try to hide it.

Shawn stood up as well, much slower, watching her carefully. “Honey-”

“Don’t!” Annalise raised her voice. Her head shot up, a crazed look in her eyes. “You do not get to call me that! He doesn’t get to call me that, and she doesn’t-” She paused, her voice breaking.

“I’m sorry-” Shawn tried to say.

“That’s all I am to you, right? I’m just some crazy chick you’re seeing, huh?" Her eyes were furious, but so, so sad at the same time.

“No, of course not. It just slipped out, I-”

“If you let it slip, then you were thinking about it! You think I’m crazy too!”

“Ann, please…” Shawn reached his hand out, but she took a step back.

“I’ll break your nose too if I have to.”

"I didn't mean it!" he tried again. "I didn't… Ann, I'm so sorry!"

She shook her head as she went for the door. However, when she opened it, she was face to face with Stella and Camila. The two girls had matching smiles that quickly faded upon seeing a teary-eyed Annalise. She pushed past them and fled the vicinity before anyone could even blink.

The two girls looked back, watching Annalise go, and then they turn to Shawn, who looked quite defeated.

Shawn forgot why Stella and Camila were here, and he really didn't care anymore. He made quick strides to follow Ann, but the girls blocked the doorway.

"What did you do?" Stella harshly asked. "Why was Ann crying?"

"Stay calm," Camila said, rubbing her shoulder. "Seriously though, what happened?"

Shawn was still staring out the door, hoping Ann would come back. Forget how pissed off he was this last week, he needed to make this right. He never intended to make her cry and run away. "I don't have time to explain-"

"If you made her cry," Stella said, "she's not gonna fucking talk to you. So you better tell us what you fucking did."

"We're here to help," Camila reassured.

Shawn ran his fingers through his hair, pacing back towards the living room, and the girls followed. Henry jumped down from the condo and walked between his legs, leaving little tufts of orange fur on his jeans.

"Oh my god, he does have a cat," Stella mumbled. Then she spoke directly to Shawn. "You got about five minutes before my allergies start acting up."

"And another five before Brian and Connor get here with the masses," Camila added. "So you better get talking."

They all took a seat on the couch. Too many things have happened in this room. Shawn took a deep breath.

"It's like she wants me to be cheating on her," he said. "She'll pull something out of thin air and use it to prove something that's not even happening!"

Camila tilted her head. "That's… that's just crazy."

"She was irrational?" Stella asked. Her harsh and defensive demeanor seemed to change.

"That's the word I should have used," Shawn glumly replied. "I told her she was crazy, and that's when she left."

"Well, I'm sure she said things she didn't mean, too. Just let her simmer down," Camila told him.

Stella was frowning, still in thought. Surely the wife/roommate had to have some insight on this fuckery.

"Anything you wanna add?" Shawn asked her. "Because I really don't know what to do now. I've never seen her so angry before, I didn't think she could be set off like that."

"Okay so," she began, sitting on the edge of her seat, "I know I don't talk about her business, because she doesn't want me to-"

"So it's not just me!" Shawn interrupted. "Why does she do that, it's so frustrating! I want people to know who my girlfriend is but she makes it so hard!"

Stella raised an eyebrow. "She makes it hard because people are really goddamn nosy. The way she dresses alone causes strangers to ask really invasive questions, not to mention she is - or was - is... linked to the most popular guy on campus and that's given her attention she never wanted. Imagine if they knew she was on Prozac, which brings me to the theory I was going to make before I was interrupted."

"Sorry," Shawn mumbled.

"Like I was saying, it's her business, but her mental health is important. I could be wrong, but she might be off her meds."

The other two only stared. Could this really be the only explanation?

"How do you know?" Camila asked.

"I don't. But I always hear her pill bottle rattling in the morning," Stella explained. "And now that I think about it, I don't remember the last time I heard it."

"Is there a way you can find out?" Shawn asked. "Can you ask her?"

Stella chuckled in disbelief. "You really think she would answer honestly?"

"What about searching her room?" Camila suggested. "Like, when she's not there."

"Ooh, please?" Shawn put his hands together, looking at Stella. "I need to know if that's why she's so pissed at me!"

She gave him a look. "Dude, she's genuinely angry at you. I mean, you called her crazy. Why the hell would you do that? Besides, it's not that I'm worried about."

Shawn was about to ask to elaborate, but there was a knock on the door followed by several voices out in the corridor.

"I'll make it fast," Stella said. "You two should be close because of the hospital thing, but instead she's pushing you away. She's not excited for Halloween, I'm gonna have to force her into a costume. She skipped game club, and I haven't seen her do any school work lately. And I'm willing to be she's not doing so well at work either. The last time she was like this, she was going through that break up with that asshole Luca, and I know you're nothing like that guy."

______

taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @ilsolee @mendesromano @1-800-khalid-mendussy @kitykatnumber @strangerliaa @iloveshawnieboi @poppyshawn @shawnsunflower @shawnvvmendes @yourdeflightfullyleft @shawmndes @calyumthomas @havethetimeeofyourlifee @wronglanemendes @chillingbythesea @softmendesss @someoneunimportantxx

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes smut #shawn x goth gf #this was a lot of feeliios #for me kinda sorta #i got a drunk call while editing this n i still got it all up #so b l e a s e validate me

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tonysopranosfeverdreams · 4 years

Text

What is the colour of your hairbrush? black

Name a food you never eat? uhhh meat

Are you typically too warm or too cold? usually too hot! since i was a kid i kicked the blankets off in my sleep

What were you doing 45 minutes ago? watching an episode of it’s always sunny

What is your favourite candy bar? i rly dont eat a lot of candy BUT i love butterfingers

Have you ever been to a professional sports event? ya when i was in am*erciorps we got to go to some free basketball and baseball games in memphis and detroit i think, they were fun

What is the last thing you said out loud? i think i said “hows my girl?” to my cat LOL

What is your favourite ice cream? cookie dough!

What was the last thing you had to drink? diet coke

Do you like your wallet? i do but i’m bad at remembering to put things back in it and not let them float around in my bag for weeks lmao

What was the last thing you ate? pasta w ricotta and broccoli

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? no

The last sporting event you watched? i think i watched parts of some nba games w my mom before sports were cancelled

What is your favourite flavour of popcorn? just like classic movie theatre popcorn with not too much butter but definitely enough

Who is the last person you sent a text message to? my friend

Ever go camping? yes but not in like maybe 8 years i want to go again soon

Do you take vitamins? if i remember!

Do you go to church every Sunday? no

Do you have a tan? no

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? BOTH but chinese maybe a little more

Do you drink your soda with a straw? no i’m impatient and don’t own any reusable straws

What colour socks do you usually wear? i only wear socks if im leaving the house or working out and usually theyre mismatched colors tbh i just grab what i can find

Do you ever drive above the speed limit? only like 10 mph tops if i know there aren’t cops around

What terrifies you? many, many things but mostly something bad happening to my family and friends

Look to your left, what do you see? my phone and a pillow

What chore do you hate? folding/putting away laundry

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? koalas

What’s your favourite soda? diet dr pepper

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? drive thru but i don’t really eat a lot of fast food; usually i just like occasionally eat panera drive thru

Who’s the last person you talked to? in person my mother, but like converesed w a friend

Favourite cut of beef? i am a vegetarian.

Last song you listened to? spotify tells me it was Bobby by Alex G

Last book you read? i reread parts of Crush by Siken on god im gonna start reading properly soon

Favourite day of the week? I’ve always liked Thursdays? No real reason tbh

Can you say the alphabet backwards? I’ve never tried

How do you like your coffee? i like coffee most ways! Iced, black, w flavored sweeteners, lattes, cappacuinos i just dont like decaf anything?

Favourite pair of shoes? i have a pair of black felt-ish boots with heels i thrifted that are my favorite winter shoes for summer i have these black strappy sandles w a tan heel

The time you normally go to bed? sometime between 1 and 3 am

The time you normally get up? if left to my own devices any time between like 10:30 and 12:30

What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunsets! but i love sunrises when i see them too

How many blankets on your bed? Right now like 3 light comforters but I sleep with more

Describe your kitchen plates: mostly white or lightly patterned but i have some nice ones that have been passed down in the family!

Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage? i like most dry wines but i also like ipas and lagers and gin and tonics

Do you play cards? sometimes! i like rummy and war and go fish and black jack

What colour is your car? like a shimmery dark blue

Can you change a tire? in theory yes because we had to learn in am*ericorps but rly only like 2 people rly knew and the rest of us just vibed

Your favourite province? i live in the us my favorite state ive been to is prob louisiana bc i love new orleans lol

Favourite job you’ve ever had? i loved teaching summer school for a bunch of little kids in flint michigan, or working in the Peace Garden in North Dakota

How did you get your biggest scar? i had a belly button piercing that rejected like 5 years ago and left scar tissue also i have one on my forearm that i got like last summer when i was ironing a shirt and burned myself accidentally

What did you do today that made someone else happy? idk i was feeling kind of off today bc im pretty sure i forgot to take my medicaiton so probably not a whole lot jasdjksakjdaddsadsa i opened the door so my cat could sunbathe tho

thank u @alloftheabove1957 for tagging me!! 💓 i tag anyone who took the time to read this sdfjk;jadf

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