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so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.
the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.
i had like, fifteen raw eggs.
i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.
except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.
so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.
#i feel a kinship with that snake#would that i could be a simple tube#and eat my fill of eggs#but being a person is rather nice too#my wife is a saint#and i promise that most of the time she is the goblin and i am the Serious Guy#but i had a little pique of insanity and you know what it was my junior year of college#and i deserved to just go a little insane#you spent 65 hours a week being Rational and then you go home and eat like twenty raw eggs
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reminder to myself and whoever else needs it to stop feeding the machine. I'm aware I'm yelling into the void but look at the past couple years of games. They're pushing $70, $80, $100!!! for games that are completely unfinished, unpolished, and sometimes completely unplayable. Yes the game showcases were cool. The doom game looks sick and I don't even go there, but they're shaking the shiny keys to distract you and get you swept up in the hype. They're going to push so much fomo marketing to get you to jump for it full price.
Wait for sales. Wait and buy a used copy. Hell, wait a couple days (even hours!!!) after launch and reviews and breakdowns will start coming out. Our game backlogs are already packed, and mr big AAA studio can deal with some of us waiting to see if they actually delivered what was promised.
#I am whining to myself but preorder culture drives me insane#I love waiting ~2years after a game comes out and getting it for like $10#and all the patches are done! the updates are all there! dlc's out!#but feel free to reblog if you vibe#personal
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(✿◕‿◕) die (ꈍ ꒳ ꈍ✿)
#MY GIRLLLLLLLL <333333 you're doing amazing sweetie kill them all you deserve to#anyway. coping mechanism. the problems in my life i could solve if society just let me have a death note#this show really is an exercise in patience and suffering i get SO squicked out#by how much the horrible characters and situations mirror the insanity of what's happening in real life#also the revelation that some of the actors are Exactly as shitty as their characters are is. ugh.#but every time i'm like okay i can't take it i need to stop to protect my headspace#i think of kimiko and am like.... no... i need to see my gir....#hope karen gets jucy roles in other shows too PLEASE#the boys#kimiko miyashiro#karen fukuhara#theboysedit#tvedit
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frankly, the people whose kneejerk reaction to bisan asking for a global strike form the 21st-28th is to say that it takes years to organize a general strike are really unhelpful! no one is saying otherwise, but palestine will be a smoking crater if we all wait for years to do anything - bisan is asking us to do something now. Like are we only supposed to do something if we can do it perfectly??? At some point it’s a valid critique about the work that goes into social movement, and at another point I feel like some people are just trying to absolve themselves from not putting any effort into observing a week of economic inaction.
like idk! I get it, okay! People have bills to pay that don’t magically go away for a strike, we don’t have nearly enough social infrastructure in place to support people to fully stop going to work for a week. But fuck, dude! Stop immediately responding in such a defeatist way! Cut out unnecessary purchases! Try to shop local! Put more effort into promoting Palestinian voices online! Attend a protest, call a local rep, do something!
#like am I going insane#why did I see a post with thousands of notes on it talking about how it doesn’t make sense to be asking for this sort of action#it doesn’t make SENSE?#like god! I hope you’re taking other more sensible courses of action then!#fucks sake man#bisan is living through a waking nightmare and some of you are so pedantic and miserly#palestine#free Palestine
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Personally I think that Azula should have been redeemed simply so that she can become Zuko's horrible little advisor who whispers evil little plans to him so that he can do the exact opposite
#the only reason she gets this job is bc he doesnt trust her anywhere else in the palace#its like enrichment for manipulative girls#also so that he can set her on asshole deligates like a rabid little lapdog#she just has mean fuckin pomeranian energy that thing bites then lights you on fire w flames so hot theyre cold#i think their sibling dynamic could be sooo fucking funny its insane#azula#azula atla#atla#avatar the last airbender#zuko#atla zuko#firelord zuko#DISCLAIMER I AM YET TO READ THE COMICS SO IDK WHAT HAPPENS TO HER IN THEM#also long overdue for a rewatch of the show its insane
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a full SAGA of chaos choices at the diner in the centre of your mind
#so in summary:#coffee grounds; room temp vodka; the feeling of first having root beer; coffee and bacon; maple syrup; grenadine; and a calzone#they are all so insane and i love them for it#and also its such a perfect representation of a brain#bc like! yeah! that IS what my thoughts are bouncing between when i'm asked what i want for a meal! i am that fucking bonkers sometimes!!#dimension 20#dimension 20 mentopolis#mentopolis#mentopolis spoilers#d20#dnd#brennan lee mulligan#hunch curio#anastasia tension#conrad schintz#the fix#imedla pulse#dan fucks#alex song xia#hank green#danielle radford#freddy wong#siobhan thompson#mike trapp#d20 cast#long post#andis thought geyser
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I spent like three hours making this
#I am NOT tagging all of these#but I’ll try I guess#destiel#ineffable husbands#pearlina#sasunaru#homumado#sonadow#is that rigth#I bet the ace attorney guys have a insane ship name#lawlight#shuake#<- I’m just googling them now#soriel#frowise#???????#sidlink#taakitz#bubbline#vrisrezi#hannigram#qcard#komahina#bowuigi#royai#batjokes#cuttletavio#hardenshipping#okay I’m done
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my blog is a gateway drug to cooler and better blogs (my mutuals)
#my blog is weed and all my mutuals are cocaine#it makes sense to me alright lmao#i get it#i have cool moots#like yes please go follow them#but also i am insane and notice when you dont rb things from me but rb them from the mutual i rbd the post from#lmao#i just dont understand the thinking#why even follow me if you dont want to interact with my blog or posts?#its not that serious#mine
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No you’re not hearing me. It’s the way that entire gala is referencing this panel. He’s canonically cosplaying Viktor Nikiforov. It’s all from the halloween party comic. Are you listening. Do you hear me. They healed them. This panel was the only gumlee moment for like 7 years. Do you understand.
#gumlee#adventure time#am I insane for remembering this#prince gumball#Marshall Lee#Fionna and cake#this is my life#Fionna and cake spoilers#THEY NEVER FINISHED THIS CONVO BTW WE JUST NEVER WENT BACK TO THAT#yuri on ice
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drawpile with the gang
i think the three of them should kiss
#my art#dungeon meshi#chilshi#chilchuck tims#senshi#extra thanks to cab and paes for being as insane as i am#i'm still annoying sorry. sorry. sorry sory#i dont think i need to clarify but thats chilchucks wife. in the one with marci and the last one. thats his wife. his wife.#pots n picks#Chilchuck sandwich
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surprise it's yuri!!!in 2024
#my art#yuri on ice#yuri!!! on ice#yoi#fanart#katsuki yuuri#victor nikiforov#victuuri#yoi fanart#this was the secret 4th thing that lost the poll jdsfgsdfjj#id been thinking about doing a tribute since getting that one ask but i didn't anticipate how Into it i would get once i started#the way i flew through this piece .. just over 1 day??? insane#yuri is /that/ ingrained in my muscle memory#I was looking at refs and ?? id forgotten how wild this show was#we just got all of that?? a pole dance a proposal a kiss a pair skate....and it was ALL canon? incredible#AND YEAH UNPROMPTED HISTORY MAKER PLAYS IN MY YT MIX#dean fujioka jumpscare#also looking back at my old yoi pieces was so wild. that ws really 8 years ago huh.#little bit of an ego boost looking at how far ive come#but also im just grateful idk sry 2 b sappy on main#i hope 16 year old me is happy that i did this bc im happy i did this#edit bc i forgot a bunch of white outline i am a fraud
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day 1 without ao3: i have gone through all 5 stages of grief multiple times and have invented a 6th. i will not disclose what the 6th stage of grief is.
#I AM GOING INSANE#what am i supposed to do??#’you should work on your WIP’ NO I CANTTT#‘ read actual books on your real bookshelf’ NUH UH#ao3#archive of our own#i’m tagging ships#malec#destiel#hannigram#jonmartin#tomgreg#kenstewy#imagine all the fics i could be reading rn
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do you remember being too young to ask questions?? like your brain was too newly formed to arrange words in a way that adults would understand, so you couldn't always communicate?
I didn't know what cicadas were as a kid. it bothered me that occasionally a summer day would have this whining nasal background sound, that nobody paid attention to. and it was so LOUD! so I tried asking my mom, and she really struggled for a bit, and then said "oohhh....when you hear insects making sounds, it's just crickets."
BUT I KNEW WHAT CRICKETS WERE! these weren't crickets! so eventually I decided that only I could hear the cicadas, and that made me a little obsessed with them. whenever they started screaming, I would sit down all solemn and contemplate how insane I was for hearing this terrible thing.
then the next year, somebody told me what cicadas were, and I was like oh..........
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Got inspired, made something, hope you enjoy.
Pretty accurate if I do say so myself.
#you might be wondering#hey ratbaby#maul is friends with absolutely none of these people???#well i dont care#i wanted to put him here so hes here#move on#also#yes i am infact refering to sabe with padmes if you were wondering#the rest is rather self explanatory#btw its 4:00 in the morning right now i think im actually going insane#star wars#tcw#the clone wars#ahsoka tano#anakin skywalker#obi wan kenobi#captain rex#padme amidala#darth maul#ratbaby thoughts
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i hope everyone in nintendo’s management department dies and goes to hell no matter what and i’m not kidding
#WERE LOSING YUZU AND CITRA. I DONT KNOW IF YOU ALL UNDERSTAND HOW INSANE THIS IS#game emulation enables piracy yes but it’s also an INCREDIBLY powerful archival tool.#there are plenty of games out there that only exist in their original formats due to emulation.#this lawsuit has HORRIBLE implications for video game history. it makes it incredibly easy for companies to scorched earth their products#if they’re not profitable enough. ART IS GOING TO BE LOST BECAUSE OF THIS. GAMES PEOPLE WORKED INCREDIBLY HARD ON#it won’t just happen to bad games. it won’t just happen to old games. they will use this to keep their remake/virtual console model going#forever and you will never be able to play your favorite games in their true original forms ever again.#i am fucking INSANELY mad rn. capitalism is the death of art fr#personal
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g. satoru who is a massive pervert and constantly whines for you to let him touch you all the time, even when you're both around others. you've lost count of how many times he grabs you and pulls you into his lap, his warm hands slipping under your shirt while sitting next to g. suguru, who's attention is no longer on the tv.
'he doesn't mind,' satoru always comforts you, grinning into the skin of your neck. 'sugu's my best friend, he knows i can't help but touch you, baby.'
best friend or not, that doesn't explain how you always ended up with your legs spread open wide in satoru's lap, your jeans and panties discarded somewhere on the floor as suguru kisses all over your thighs. the two of them talk like you aren't even there, as if you aren't growing wetter as each second passes.
"satoru," suguru purrs, his fingers running up and down your soft lips, parting them open to watch slick slowly drip out of you. "you must be doing something else to her. i've never seen it get wet so quickly." the way he speaks so calmly makes you dizzy. it's unfair, so fucking unfair how calm and collected suguru is when he's inches away from your pussy, those pretty purple eyes focused on it.
"yeah? 's wet?" it's also unfair how riled up it gets satoru, seeing his pretty baby getting shy because his best friend is rubbing his fingers up and down her slick folds. "she's so messy, isn't she? she's the prettiest little pussy," he coos into your ear. that gets a chuckle from suguru, his eyes finally looking at you. "always the one to talk to the pussy and not about it, aren't you, satoru?"
his fingers finally focus on your clit, rubbing little circles into it. both you and satoru look pretty from this angle, suguru notices. the pure need and shyness on your face paired with that manic desperation on satoru's...it's a perfect picture, one he wants saved forever. maybe next time you'll let him take some pictures...after all, he needs a new background for his phone.
"c'mooon, sugu...give her a kiss? c'mon, c'mon, give that cunt a kiss, tell me how sticky 'n' wet she is," satoru fucking begs, acting as if he's the one spread open and dripping. but you second the thought, giving suguru the prettiest little puppy eyes.
"anything for you, princess," he coos softly, leaning down and pressing a little kiss on your clit. it's so light you barely feel it but then he's peppering kisses on it, your wetness starting to get on his lips and making each press of his lips sticker and wetter. "s-sugu-!" before you can even beg for more, his mouth is on you. his tongue is so wet and hot on your cunt, it feels like he was drooling for you.
"does she taste good? how wet is she, suguru, c'mon, tell me, tell me how that pussy tastes, pretty please?"
"mm, satoru, it's almost as if you wanted to be between her legs."
"who wouldn't? she's so pretty, she's squirmin' so cutely, my pretty baby, my needy little mochi, her pussy's always so creamy and warm and messy, god, i miss it right now."
"shit...stop talking like that, you're gettin' me flustered, should i-"
"s-sugu, please, keep going," you so politely ask. it's unbearable how cute you are, it's taking everything in him to keep being nice, to keep treating your cunt nicely. he knows satoru is mean and practically bullies your pretty slit almost every day, but he wants to be the nice one, the one who you go to when your 'toru' is being too mean. yet, you're making it so fucking hard when you look at him with lidded eyes that beg him to be rougher with you...
but he knows he's done for when satoru whispers something in your ear that has your eyes fluttering a bit and gets a pretty little gasp from you. those gorgeous eyes—oh, do you have little tears in them too?—connect with his and he's fucked.
"s-suguuu, please," you coo to him, moving your legs to hook over his shoulders and pull him closer to the apex of your thighs. "i need your mouth on my pussy r-really bad, please don't tease me." you take a pause and squeeze your eyes shut, whining a little as satoru coos for you to keep going. "g-give my...my messy cunt attention, suguru..."
suguru shakily sighs and the next thing you know, his mouth is smushed against your pussy, his tongue hungrily swirling against your clit as his hands grab onto the fat of your thighs. he doesn't know what gojo told you in order to hear you say that, but he's silently thanking him as he messily sucks and slurps at your juicy cunt.
it's so hot, all it takes is a few swipes of his tongue and you're gushing everywhere. suguru lowers his head to dip into your hole and he moans. he missed this, missed the sweet taste of your juices on his tongue as you squirmed and moaned for him, your boyfriend's best friend.
"fuck, i-i can hear how wet she is," comes satoru's pitiful whine, his hand dipping down to swipe at your clit as suguru focused on lapping up everything that dripped out of you. "lemme help, lemme help, wanna help you get her creamy, sugu." the feeling of suguru groaning into your puffy folds has you keening, arching your back against satoru's chest. oh, he's in heaven watching you both. "yeah, you didn't know she could cream, didya? put your fingers in her, sugu, put 'em in that sticky little pussy 'n' angle up."
reluctantly pulling his mouth off you with a wet sound, suguru slips two of his fingers in you. he doesn't miss the cry of his name, but he really doesn't miss the delirious giggle and moan when he angles his fingers up, rubbing against that spongy spot.
"f-fuck, she's dripping..."
"go on, fuck her with your fingers, you know you wanna see her make a mess. make her fucking cream, suguru, get her prepped. maybe t'day she'll let you put it in...oh, based on your face, she just clenched on your fingers, yeah?"
his fingers are still swirling around your clit, his other coming down to press on your abdomen. he can hear you getting wetter, your little whimpers turning to moans as you slur their names desperately. he wants you to lose all thoughts, only able to think about him and suguru...yeah, he wants you all soft and sweet so he and his best friend can try and slip into those warm, slick walls.
"mmn...she's really creaming...god, pretty girl, can you cum for me? i wanna see you cum on my fingers. satoru, move your fingers, the poor thing needs my mouth on her."
"hmmm, suddenly you know what she needs? ehehehe, you're learninggg, suguruuuu!" if you had turned to look at satoru, you'd see the charged look in his eye, blue eyes practically glowing with insanity. his hand grabs a fistful of suguru's hair and pulls his face directly into your cunt, unable to handle any more of this. he wanted to see you cum on suguru's face.
"c'mon, c'mon, kiss it, suguru, make it messy for the both of us. mmh, fuck, listen to you making out with her pussy, s' wet and sticky, isn't it? oohmygod, both of you sound so good, she's gonna cum, sugu, she's gonna cum in your mouth...fuck, i love you both so much, can't wait to see you both fucking each other."
#geto suguru smut#gojo satoru smut#gojo smut#suguru smut#geto smut#geto suguru x reader#geto x reader#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#💎 ── satoru.#🔮 ── suguru.#i am insane !!#˗ˏˋ ★ lxnarworks .ᐟ
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